#this is a draft from my november in my feelings phase

[wisteriagoesvroom]

getting a headache again because someone on twitter said (paraphrased) “my theory about lestappen so far is that max understands charles’s frustrations, and max knows charles is a better driver than his car allows him to be capable of. he is a special driver like me. that’s why we walk together”

and? the sheer poetry of someone knowing you deeply, intimately… yes, possible through the science, the data of race stats or car performance or analytics, but through all of it, it also amounts to them saying this:

I see you, I know you, you are my shadow. We push each other, and it is the closest thing to completion I might find on the track because you are my equal. This is a dance with only us in it. So take my hand.

[dangaer]

being 'cringe' is banned in 2024. being yourself is not weird at all and embracing any emotion you feel is in.

[espresso-lessdepresso]

i8

fluff

t/w: Distrust/Suspension, descriptive kiss and make out.

a/n:....so im alive and my exams didn't kill me ^^. but it did take me half a month to actually post something soooo~ anyways, I hope everyone is doing well and enjoy! This has been sitting in my drafts since November I feel like it could still be better but i don't know how T-T

Away from the chaos and social ramble of the Christmas gathering, Schlatt escaped into a faraway room on the second floor which happened to look like a small study. The walls adjacent to the door were lined with ceiling-length bookshelves, deep mahogany in colour, and in between one of the shelves was a fireplace. Dividing the room into two, there was an area for sitting, with a couch and coffee table in front of the fireplace, and there was an area for writing which had a large desk opposite to the couches. The balcony was visible through the sliding glass doors, it had upon it a thick layer of untouched snow.

It was easily brought to Schlatt's attention that even this room was not safe from holiday decoration; garlands lined the tops of the bookcases and alternating green and red stockings hung on the deck of the fireplace. The centre coffee table was decorated with for-show gift boxes wrapped in various colours. Even the scent of sugary Christmas treats and savoury snacks managed to sneak into the room. 

Quietness filled the room, for the most part, Schlatt could only hear the low chatter of everyone speaking downstairs since most of it was drowned.

Though the holiday season was joyous and everyone gathered happily to mingle with one another, Schlatt found himself standing alone in the room farthest from everyone. There seemed to be a recurrence of Schlatt's tight-lipped frown and furrowed brows. 

Standing turned into pacing.

And with pacing followed the feeling of uneasiness and doubt.

Schlatt was thinking, once again for the nth time this month, about you. 

Your sly flirting and paying special attention towards Schlatt had not gone unnoticed. Your attempts had planted a seed of curiosity in him which slowly but surely blossomed into fondness. He himself was pleasantly surprised by this. Flattered even to the point of catching himself smiling like an idiot at the prospect of what could happen and where it could lead. 

But these thoughts were short-lived as his mind too quickly was plagued with distrust.

Schlatt was deep in thought, trying to detangle his pasts from his present while staring out into the heavy snowfall. The wind carried the snow in fluffy white swirls. The door handle turned and he wasn't sure if you were the last person he wanted to see or the first. His thoughts were like a ball of yarn that fell prey to Jambo's paws. 

"Hey." 

Schlatt only nodded back at you, taking notice of the two mugs that you were holding and carefully walked in with. 

"Not liking the party?" You asked, handing him a red mug of hot chocolate. The mug was piled with marshmallows and he distinctly remembered that there was a shortage of marshmallows in the kitchen. You must've saved some for him or gone to the extent of going out and buying some. Schlatt's fingers ever so slightly grazed yours and you wanted to make it last as long as you could, taking a step towards him... but within a split second, he retrieved his hand back awkwardly. He averted his attention to the books on the shelf.  

Schlatt was wearing his usual clothes; a black sweatshirt with beige pants and white sneakers. He looked the furthest from having a festive spirit. His chestnut hair never failed to look soft, even when going through another phase of change.

Your gaze on him was gentle, done without realising it. Every time you looked at him, his features would captivate your attention; the way he’d fold his arms, furrowed his brows or the way his bottom lip would pout sometimes. Though it is impossible, you would admire him for hours if you could. Schlatt had somehow gotten used to it, the feeling of your eyes trained on him. He could almost always tell whenever you were looking at him. "What are you trying to do?" he asked, breaking the quiet.

Giving him a questioning look, your brows knit as you slightly shook your head. "What am I trying to do?" 

"You know," Schlatt turned, "Your advances. Your sudden change in behaviour and your particular attention to me." 

"Are they… unwelcomed?" 

His face felt warm at the question. Schlatt huffed out in what seemed to be annoyance, "And that. All that endless teasing or whatever it is."

"I thought I was a bit more subtle with it but I guess..." You said more to yourself than him, shrugging in slight embarrassment. You placed your mug of hot chocolate down on the table and took a step closer to him. With the balcony to your side, you felt the slight chill of the weather passing through the glass doors. "So? Are you going to do anything with that information?" 

The small curl of your lips made Schlatt's eyes narrow. The gaze they held- or rather the glare, was broken for a split second, looking away from you to the side. When his eyes drew back, you first thought that you saw anger in them but you quickly found it to be frustration. Indecisiveness even. "A fling? Like, is that what you're looking for?

"I'm actually not." You said, taken aback by his words. But not shaken. Have your actions not written everything out by now? You leaned on the glass door with your shoulder, the cold pressing through your sweater. "You think I'm a fling type of person?" 

Schlatt again looked at you, between your eyes from left to right and back. Really searching for something. "I'm just...being careful." 

"I'm looking for a lot more than just a fling." Sighing, you felt dejected. "I was." You tried to approach him slowly and revealed your likeness by one small fraction at a time. But for whatever reason, his walls seemed to only stand taller and guarded heavily. Looking down, your hope was slipping. With now a cold shoulder, you leaned off of the door to leave the room as well as Schlatt. 

But catching you by surprise, Schlatt stepped in front of you. Not only did he block your path to the door but he had you standing between the glass door and himself, leaving as little as a few inches between you two. Schlatt raised one hand towards you and instinctively you took another step back and bumped into the glass. His fingers brushed against your hair as he plucked something out of it.

The absolute closeness and the tension of it had your nerves. Be it the way he looked at you or the pent-up longing you had harboured for him, words escaped your lips before you could stop them. "My feelings for you are genuine Schlatt. They," Your heart was beating up your throat "... are as exactly as I've shown them." 

Held between his index finger and thumb was a red berry. You get caught off guard by it. Schlatt looked up and you followed his gaze. There were green branches, adorning long thin leaves and ruby red berries. Tied to the frame of the balcony door by a shimmering red ribbon was a small bouquet of mistletoe.

Without taking your eyes away from the berry caught between his fingers, you spoke, "Do I still have to say more?"

Your anticipation silenced and the distance between the two of you finally closed. His lips on yours were gentle. They barely even pressed down on yours. The timidness showed through as his hands remained where they were, even though they wanted to lace with yours or hang around your waist. It was as though he was testing the waters- making sure you were okay with this. Making sure he was okay with this. Schlatt looked for signs of discomfort, whether you wanted to stop, step back, or perhaps rethink your likeness of him. But you didn't. Eyes closed and hand moving to his chest on its own accord. You kissed him back, just as gently as he did.

Soft.

His lips were unusually soft. Yes you had imagined that they would be so but to actually feel them for the first time, your mind had stopped working. All you would focus on was the pressure of him on you. 

Schlatt, having initiated the kiss first, was also the first to pull away. His habit of staring at you- into you, did not seem to cease. Looking into your eyes, looking for something- anything that could possibly hint or prove his suspicions to be true. But staring back at him was just you. You and your dilated pupils drawn on him showed only trust and honest intentions. 

“If you try anything-” Schatt started.

“-Nothing you wouldn’t like.” your small voice retorted before he could finish. Your teasing once again brought out the redness of his face, along with your own this time. In a swift motion, Schlatt’s hand moved to flatten against the door with a thud. With his hand right next to your head, you felt even more enclosed than before. You had a way of getting on his nerves, without even trying

There was another beat of silence that filled the room. Schlatt remained in the same position, and so did you. Standing in each other's space, you were almost sharing the same breath. You had not realised but this single small kiss made your chest heave. You continued to heaven as you stared into Schlatt’s eyes. With such closeness, you swore they were a type of brown you had never seen. Unique and so deep, you felt being pulled into them.

Just then, slicing into the thick silence, a voice called out from you. One of your friends was looking for you and you could hear their footsteps in the hallway from inside the room. They were looking for you to help them with something.

Your attention diverted, you were about to call back to the voice, saying that you’ll be there just in a minute. But before you could do so, your lips were drawn and sealed with Schlatt’s. Again. What was different this time was that he did not hold back. That timidness he showed before had gone… It was replaced with some sort of fire.

The voice drifted away.

Schlatt pulled at you. Your voice of surprise was muffled by the way he kissed you. Your noses pressed into each other's faces. Taking another step forward, Schlatt had your back pressed on the glass. A shiver crawled up your back and you pushed away from it, in turn pressing into Schlatt’s broad figure. The hand beside your head cupped your face and his other hand finally got to hang on your waist. Your own hands were sitting on his shoulder and the nape of his neck. The way he led the kiss showed no signs of timidness. He led it with intention, lacking no passion.

A sort of fire kindled within him. 

The heavy snowfall settled and the wind ceased to howl. Outside, past the glass doors of the balcony, the night sky was sprinkled with stars and the ground below, a blanket of white snow layed untouched. The weather would continue to be crisp and cold, but with what you ignited within Schlatt, you would be kept warm throughout your winter.

++++++

Engage and let me know if/how you like the writing. Reblogging/Sharing is much appreciated.

masterlist

[kiwiana-writes]

2023 Writing Round Up

Thanks @welcometololaland and @rmd-writes for the tags! It’s been a weird year; there was definitely a point at which I thought I was done with sharing my writing publicly, but here we are 😂

JANUARY

Brain break 😁

FEBRUARY

We knew we were the fortunate ones [The Last of Us; Bill/Frank; rated E; 2,294 words]

First times are both awkward and exciting, apocalypse or no apocalypse.

MARCH

My mind has been expanded [Schitt’s Creek; David/Patrick; rated T; 422 words]

In which the author David finds out their his spouse has never seen Rocky Horror

Got me an appetite, now I can taste it [Schitt’s Creek; David/Patrick; rated E; 3,002 words]

Kink!verse s05e12: chastity cage for @minerforaheartofgold

APRIL-JUNE

Brain break 😁

JULY

We were supposed to find this [RWRB; Alex/Henry; rated M; 3,384 words]

The canon-adjacent soulmarks fic

Honey lips and words so true [RWRB; Alex/Henry; rated E; 1,580 words]

A smutty little prompt fill for @rmd-writes

All the city lights on the water [RWRB; Alex/Henry; rated T; 500 words]

A series of NYE drabbles as a prompt fill for @hullomoon

Before this all goes grey [RWRB; Alex/Henry; rated T; 455 words]

A painfully soft Paris morning prompt fill for @stereopticons

Looking like our bodies might fuse [RWRB; Alex/Henry; rated T; 637 words]

Post-canon paparazzi feelings prompt fill for @hullomoon

Just come along, baby, take my hand [RWRB; Alex/Henry; rated E; 1,335 words]

The ‘Alex and Henry watch Netflix’s How to Build a Sex Room’ fic @celeritas2997 made me write

Feel your hands in my hair and you whisper my name [RWRB; Alex/Henry; rated E; 2,508 words]

The barbershop meet-horny for @celeritas2997

AUGUST

With so much of my heart (that none is left to protest) [RWRB; Alex/Henry; rated E; 65,586 words]

Actor AU, Alex and Henry performing in a queer reimagining of Much Ado About Nothing

SEPTEMBER

Bukkake Breaky Heart [RWRB; Alex/Henry; rated E; 2,532 words]

Alex has a fantasy. Henry makes it happen.

Empty your heart of its mortal dream [RWRB; Alex/Henry; rated G; 3,641 words]

Alex steps inside a fairy circle and Fey Prince Henry appears

The star to every wandering bark [RWRB; Alex/Henry; rated T; 3,895 words]

A 5+1 coda set during the epilogue of With so much of my heart (that none is left to protest)

I don’t know if I should go with XX Pro or Valencia [RWRB; Alex/Henry; rated T; 2,854 words]

Henry sends a thirst trap to his ex… or does he?

OCTOBER

Kinktober 2023 [RWRB; Alex/Henry; rated E; 6,200 words]

31 days, 31 kinky double drabbles

I’ve carried this song in my mind [RWRB; Arthur&Henry, Alex/Henry; rated T; 2,529 words]

Five times Arthur tries to get Alex and Henry together from beyond the grave, and one time two times his intervention isn’t needed.

Handprints in wet cement [RWRB; Alex/Henry; rated E; 2,421 words]

Five things Henry learned during his Oxford Slut Phase that he shared with Alex, and one thing they learned together.

NOVEMBER

Puck It [RWRB; Alex/Henry; rated E; 9,739 words]

College AU, Alex as a NCAA division I, NHL-drafted hockey player

Kinda think that I might be his type [RWRB; Alex/Henry, Alex&Bea; rated E; 12,864 words]

Alex agrees to be his friend's fake boyfriend for a weekend. He is not prepared for his friend's brother.

A Practical Arrangement [RWRB; Alex/Henry; rated E; WIP 1/3 chapters, 6,136 words published, to be finished before the end of the year]

An anachronism stew, royalty-arranged-marriage AU

DECEMBER

All Those Christmas Clichés [RWRB; Alex/Henry; rated M; WIP 16/25 chapters, 4,800 words published]

Daily triple drabbles: snapshots of the lead-up to Christmas 2023.

Puck It Real Good [RWRB; Alex/Henry; rated E; 1,793 words]

A smutty interlude set during Puck It

Tagging @affectionatelyrs @anincompletelist @cha-melodius @clottedcreamfudge @cricketnationrise @dumbpeachjuice @getmehighonmagic @happiness-of-the-pursuit @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @indestructibleheart @inexplicablymine @myheartalivewrites @sparklepocalypse @stereopticons @tintagel-or-cockleshells and, as always, anyone who wants to play!

[welcome-to-green-hills]

Okay so I’m a bit confused about what’s going on and where people are getting information from. I’m asking you because I trust you. Is sonic 3 filming soon? When is it done? I’ve seen a few Instagram accounts say that it’ll be released this year. Is sonics voice actor coming bback? Is Jim coming back? I know that’s a lot to dump on you but I’m just so confused

Hello-Hello darlin’!❤️✨

Listen, it’s perfectly okay. I can 100% understand the confusion that’s been going around lately on this film. It may feel overwhelming, but worry. I can explain it to you to the best of my ability. Part of the reason for me taking so long with this post was due to finding the correct sources to each claim (as well as checking them for consistency).

To make it short, sweet, and simple, I’ve answered your questions in little subcategories.

Is Sonic 3 Still Happening?

Yes! The film is in the “Blue Sky” stages. This means that the story is still in its planning phase, but we can expect the script to be done by mid-2023. Concept art and storyboard drafting are usually done in this time as well. (SOURCE). What I can share is that storyboard artist Douglas Olsen has been drafting Sonic 3’s scene since November (SOURCE).

Just know that Sonic 3 will be wild and fun and you will cry (SOURCE).

Is the Knuckles Series still happening?

If it helps, I believe that it is still a project that could happen. There has yet to be anything online (interviews, news articles, and tweets) that implies that the series is not happening.

A while back, it was stated that the writers would like to incorporate elements of Sonic 3 into the Knuckles Series (SOURCE). Since the interview, there has been a lack of information on the series’ update. As of now, we can still expect the series to come out on 2023 (SOURCE). Idris Elba will voice Knuckles in the miniseries (SOURCE).

When Is It Done?

I’m afraid that I don’t necessarily understand this question. Do you mean when the film releases? If so, it releases December 20th, 2024. If you mean filming, then I cannot provide an answer. We do not have an exact date as of yet when filming for Sonic 3 will begin.

I’ve seen a few Instagram accounts say that it’ll be released this year (2023).

Between you and me, I would not trust Instagram accounts that claim to be a “daily/weekly update” on the film’s progress. Accounts like THIS are notorious for spreading misinformation. That, and they don’t supply the sources in which they make their claim with. It’s just clickbait. Also, do watermark all of your Sonic 3 art if possible. Some accounts on Instagram have been reuploading fanart—without consent—and implying that it’s official.

If you are looking for trustworthy sources that tackle Sonic-Related news, I highly recommend following @movie-robotnik-positivity , @tailschannel , and @aawesomepenguin . They will be the most reliable sources to follow when it comes to movie updates. If and for any comic updates of SCU, I’d also recommend following @idwsonicnews as well. (Tagged so that readers can follow these accounts. DM me if you wish for me to remove the mention).

And with that, we can conclude that the film’s release date is still December 24th, 2024.

Is sonics voice actor coming back?

I believe so! Ben has been vocal on how Sonic 3 will be “insane” and how he wishes to include some improved lines.

Is Jim coming back?

I wish that I had a stronger answer to provide you, but I don’t. This is one has yet to be determined. Back in 2022, Mr. Carrey explained that he would consider returning as “Dr. Robotnik” if the script for Sonic 3 was good (SOURCE). If Mr. Carrey does not desire to return, Josh and Pat have stated that Dr. Robotnik will not be recasted (SOURCE). The focus will be directed on other existing Sonic characters.

Is Sonic 3 doing an Sonic Adventure 2 (SA2) Adaptation?

I do not believe that Sonic 3 will be an exact copy of SA 2. Pat Casey and Josh Miller have expressed that the film could take heavy inspiration of SA2 and Shadow the Hedgehog (2005) for the story, but I do not think that it will be an exact copy (SOURCE).

I say “heavy inspiration” because it’s how it’s been for Sonic 1 and 2. The past films took elements of previous games to tell their story.

Who is voicing “Shadow?��

At this moment in time, an actor has yet to be announced. We can potentially expect an actor much later in 2023. Giant Freaking Robot has made a news article in the past saying that it would be Jason Momoa. This is not the case. I would stay clear of GFR since they have a reputation of spreading misinformation as well. Know that a “big name actor” has been chosen to voice Shadow in the film… and that the SCU crew is waiting for the actor to confirm that he still wants the role (SOURCE).

Can we expect AmyRose, Rouge, and/or Big?

I wish that I could provide a stronger answer for this one. As of now, we do not know if either of the three will make an appearance in the third film. The writers stated that as well at the Klamath Comicon event in 2022. What we can conclude is that the writers are fans of each three. Pat and Josh have expressed that they are big—ha!—fans of Big the Cat (SOURCE) and do like Rouge’s character (SOURCE). In a synopsis released in late 2022, it was implied that Amy and Big would make an appearance, but proved to be fake (SOURCE).

As of now, I’m afraid that it is a waiting game. I can completely understand the excitement for Sonic 3. I’m very excited! Just like it was with Sonic 2, we must be careful with where we get our information from and look for consistency. I do hope that this helped with a couple of your questions! If you have any more, don’t hesitate to ask!

[azikarue]

A life and writing update rolled into one. 🐈

I had every intention of kicking myself into gear to brainstorm, outline, draft, and begin fine-tuning my TyHil Love Countdown entries in time to have a few strong fills to post during the event in November. I came up with what feels like an ambitious, but fun and fulfilling, idea and was in the outlining phase when something derailed my progress.

Last Sunday, I yanked a stray kitten out of some bushes on the side of the highway. She was shivering, starving, and being eaten alive by parasites inside and out. Thankfully, I was able to get her to the vet promptly, and she's making a speedier recovery than I would have ever thought possible. I love her to pieces, but nursing her back to health and balancing her care with my other pets' care, the adjustments that come with a new pet, and all of life's other minutiae has effectively eaten up my free time.

Today is my first real day with some leeway in my schedule. Naturally, I spent a good chunk of my morning feeling personally victimized by my uterus 😑 and I have some things to get done around the house, but I'm going to attempt to finish my outline (my original plan for last weekend) and hopefully set myself up to write some rough drafts this month so I don't wash out of the event entirely.

But, even though I've been feeling frazzled, I'm so beyond grateful for the way things have played out with my newest little friend and very excited for the TyHil content I will eventually have the privilege of putting out into the world. 🤍

P.S. Thank you to @too-raph who's been in the thick of it with me the whole way, from digging through bushes to taking care of the poor little thing when I'm stuck at work. You're a lifesaver!

[sohnric]

11 15 and 30 for the tag game :DD

thank u for sending those in monmon!!! sorry for talking so much i love being pretentious

11. fandom you enjoyed writing for the most this year ::

i havent written for many fandoms this year because i only opened this blog recently,, but i do have to mention weak hero class 1.... the fic isn't finished, i dont think it ever will be and i dont think it ever will see the light of the day even if i was to finish it, but it was the fic that brought me out of my months long writing block and what made me realize why i love and enjoy writing so much again o:) sieun and suho are really dear to me (I WONT LET THOSE TWO GO. NEVER.) and that wip is a source of comfort i reread every time i need it. other than that, i think it would be tbz, ofc 😋😋 its always really fun to write for the group im currently hyperfixating on LMAO 😭😭😭

15. something you learned this year ::

my dear friend miri @/satoruly taught me that i dont have to write in order or have everything written down exactly when i work on a fic and also made me realize that my first draft doesnt have to be the final draft. reading a lot of her drafts made me realize i can use my first language when i cant find the right word in english, i can use placeholders as [verb] [X] [word] when i cant think of the exact thing i wanna say, i can skip scenes and come back to them later when im in the mood to write them. i think it helped me feel more free when writing and it also made me feel less stuck, which made the whole process less restricting and also faster :) i can always fix those when editing, after all.

my friend @csenke also taught me that having someone beta your work doesnt have to be as scary and that its actually quite fun and encouraging :p

also i am still trying to learn how to love my work no matter what and stop comparing myself so much to others. sometimes im still insecure, but i am working on it one day and one fic at a time <33

30. favorite fandom to read fic from this year ::

the boyz,, obviously.... but also the amount of sieun x suho fics ive read on ao3 is truly concerning and i still think abt my favorite whc1 fics every single day.... oh also i had a phase in like november where i was really into dramione fanfic ?? 😭😭 not my proudest moment but the e2l was so delicious....

send me a fanfic end of the year ask!

[unifox]

PTG as Owl City songs Pt.1

Hi! I actually wrote this in November 2020 and just found this today, July 2023 and decided to complete my draft. Owl City is my childhood musician and my favorite till today. They truly mean the world to me. In one of my listening sessions, this came up. I hope you guys like this, it was fun to do. And maybe this way you may also discover Owl City or know them better!

IMPORTANT: This is purely out of my imagination, I do NOT know how the ptg members are and their true personalities. This is how I perceive them through the content they provide us on social media. Also, the songs interpretations were mine. They might not be what the artist intended but how I understood them.

None of the pictures are mine! Got them on Pinterest

happy reading! and maybe listening too ~Foxy🦊

Pt.2 | masterlist

Jinho

Vanilla Twilight

A soft song that talks about longing and missing someone, fitting for Jinho who's in the military right? The piano melody makes the song feel so soft and slow, but the bridge is really powerful, which for me is the perfect recipe for Jo Jinho

Angels (2023)

Bear with me, but in all the songs that Adam (the vocalist) shows his strong vocals, I’m reminded of Jinho. The “wake me if you’re out there” really gives me Jinho. Through this song, I’m reminded of how Jinho is inspiring to me and how I’m grateful for having him as a role model in music. Among the artist that I know, Jinho is a really unique one that stood out for me, and as the lyrics say “I thought I saw an unfamiliar shadow, among the ones I so clearly know”

Hui

Beautiful Times 

To me, this songs marks owl city's new sort of phase, something in between his usual style and his new style. Again the mix between his synth melodies, and the violin passage from Lindsey Stirling brings a bit more life to the song. I feel like this song gives so much hope and that is so Hui. I'd say the mix between styles fits Hui in the sense of him being such a versatile idol and producer, which makes everything even more charming. 

I’ll Meet You There (2023)

Hui is hope, the leader that holds all of them together. He seems to care deeply for others and that’s why this is also his song. ”Wander down the streets, And I will be the pavement beneath your feet” He would encourage others to do what they gotta do, what they want to do, and follow their dreams, and he’ll be there to support them no matter what. He also seems like the type that would want to comfort and be there for you even in your dreams. “And when you close your tired eyes I’ll me you there”

Hongseok

Cloud Nine 

Charming and caring lyrics like Hongseok. Sounds fun and happy and really, boyfriend vibes. If that isn't Hong vibes then I don't know anything anymore. I even imagine Hongie singing this, especially the ending, before the last pre-chorus, which actually ends up closing the song. Definitely Hongseok

Metropolis

Hong just reminds me of a superhero. Maybe because of his caring self, his strength, or his love for iron man. He just seems to me like the type of guy who would collect Superhero comic books and dream of becoming one someday. If that's him, then he's already a superhero to Universe

Shinwon

Dementia 

This song is a little more inclined to the rock side of Owl city and its so cool and pretty. That's one of the reasons why it reminded me of Shinwon. The vibe of the song is a bit like Shin since to me he kind of gives me a more indie rock sort of vibe and so this song is perfect for him, apart from the lyrics of course haha

Thunderstruck

Is a fun and dancing song that reflects Shinwon's personality. The melody struck me just like Shin did when I started stanning Pentagon, so they both match very well to me. 2023 me would like to add, the lyrics also fit Shinwon so well, He is fun, versatile and among all the amazing members he’s one of my favs. “I find in the days when you’re in my dreams, The orchestra plays the pretties themes”. For me, Shinwon shines.

Speed of love

This song just fits Shinwon perfectly in my opinion. The name of the song plus the videogame vibes it gives fits my idea of Shinwon being one of those people who face life and its obstacles as a game. For him specifically, I’d say a videogame. Also, he mentioned that he loves playing games and was very excited in forest with Pentagon when he saw a tv and play station in his room

Yeo One

 Fireflies 

Classic like Yeo One. The mix between classical instruments and the synth-pop gives a really unique vibe to the song, making you feel like you're in between a dream and reality. I feel like Yeo also gives off that vibe and so, the song suits him very well

Cinematic

The song is sort of a 'Cheer up, you can do it!' message and it suits Yeo really well. Also, the reference to movies, acting, etc. reminds me of actor Changgu, and the image makes me so happy. The song is inspiring and supportive like our dear Yeo One

[kinetic-elaboration]

November 11: WIP List Thoughts

This day did not go according to plan, by which I mean I didn’t write and I’m feeling pretty depressed. I’m actually worried I’m entering like a Depressive Phase and that’s kind of scary especially with winter and the holidays coming up but I’m just not going to worry about that right now. I need to do a lot of laundry tomorrow and so I’m not sure I’ll be able to write on top of that, although I do want to, and technically it should be possible. Mostly right now I want to go to sleep. And should!

I did go out today, took a little walk, and then did some notebook planning. I was working on an old Bellarke Fluff idea from the WIP list and, after some wheel spinning, started to feel like I was getting somewhere with it.

I’m wondering if I should, like, reevaluate the whole WIP list. This is just an idle thought that probably won’t go anywhere, or won’t go anywhere for a while, since I have a lot of other organizational tasks that I’m behind on and that need to come first, but something for the backburner perhaps. It’s sort of a weird document (actually it’s a chart but document in the broad sense). I call it the WIP List but it’s really more of a WIP and Ideas List, or a Project list. The line between “WIP” and “idea” is pretty hazy for a lot of my stuff. I guess a WIP might reasonably be defined as something that has words, a piece of writing that exists in partial-draft form. But I have fics that are partially drafted but I intend to scrap all of that draft, fics that are partially drafted but haven’t been touched in years, and others that have no draft text but tens of pages of brainstorm notes and outlines, which I’m still actively working on in a very present-tense way, and it feels weird to somehow elevate those in the first categories to ‘WIP’ while calling those in the latter category just ‘ideas.’ So the dividing isn’t clear and even if you force it… it’s not helpful.

When I started the WIP list, I didn’t really care about the accuracy of the title, I just wanted to be comprehensive. I wanted it to be every project I was working on or might work on or cared about or might care about. So even though it’s split into subsections, it’s also very long, and purposefully long. It eases a sort of anxiety to feel like everything is in one spot. But then it creates another sort of anxiety, or more properly a distortion, because projects that are in very different states are all sort of treated as equals: this random 1200 words that I wrote in 2017 and haven’t touched since next to this fully planned out multi-chapter I’m actively working on next to this scrap of idea I had once but never developed in any way next to this mess of brainstorm ideas that may or may not resolve into a narrative.

And, like, here’s the thing. Here’s what I’m really getting at. This isn’t a to-do list and never was. It’s an at-a-glance list. And I do kind of like the messiness of just every possible idea in one spot; it gives me a security to feel like, long as it is, it is everything, it is the totality of all ideas in any way currently on the table. It does have subsections, as stated, which helps. But, at one point I was putting literally every idea that flitted through my brain on there. There are items that are literally 3 or 4 words long and that is it, that’s the whole idea. And at a later point, I started one separate item that was for scraps. The idea for this item was that some ideas are not story ideas per se, they are sub-parts of an idea, and I don’t yet know where they go. Like, this is a cool image, this is a cool line, this is a cool theme… not stuff I want to build a whole new story around but stuff I want to remember in case I come up with an idea where one of these scraps might fit. But then when my WIP List hit 50 items, was actually over 50 for a bit, I started feeling anxiety about it. I wanted it under 50 so bad and now that it’s 50 I’ve decided I hate the idea of going over. So I started adding new ideas to this ‘scraps’ list rather than making new items for them. I was not consciously trying to cheat but basically that’s what it is. It was like I was creating a 'waiting room' of sorts because I'd capped the list at 50 for fully arbitrary reasons. There are ideas now in the scraps item that could easily be on the main list, or vice versa, and it’s this state of affairs I’m thinking of when I say ‘maybe I should re-evaluate it.’

If I were being really honest with myself, there are probably also ideas that can just go, that I should be able to admit outright are never going to be written because I’ve proven them unfeasible or no longer care for them. I’m so stubborn, and I also, like I said, feel less anxious when I perceive the list as comprehensive, which makes it harder to take stuff off because ‘what if?’ ‘just in case’ etc. But I spent a lot of this summer planning out a story that I ultimately never wrote because I decided I didn’t like it and what was that process but proving to myself it’s not a feasible idea? So. I don’t know. I just feel overall like this list was created in a different era in a way and that maybe I shouldn’t be wedded to it in its current form.

Or I should write stuff on it and then cross it off in a satisfying, accomplished way. Then the list would be shorter. LOL.

[logos-of-experience-and-truth]

Podcast Transcript - S2EP20 - The Veil of the Unknown

Podcast Transcript - S2EP20 - The Veil of the Unknown

Audio and Show Notes I knew after the first season that I’d get much more personal and detailed with the personal details, but I didn’t expect it to get as in depth as I have. Speaking about each of the mysterious experiences I’ve witnessed, especially from a chronological order has been eye-opening. If you’ve been following along and meditating and contemplating on the entirety of this season, perhaps you understand what writing and recording the audio for these episodes has done for me, and what doing these exercises periodically does for an individual. I’ve essentially just done the examination of conscience prayer, or what has been expressed by others with near-death experiences—including myself—as the life review, or one’s life flashing before their eyes. Doing it in this reflective manner occurs at a much slower and steadier pace of course versus the feeling of timelessness that occurs during the mystical experience itself but is still essentially the same thing. I actually don’t know what to add to this episode that wasn’t summarized in the first episode of the podcast when I gave an overview of the months leading up to the mystical experience of Ascending to the Temple of the Father. Everything that occurred is so condensed, so compact, in such a short period of time, one day after another new revelations exploding in my mind that it’s difficult to talk about in a way that makes sense for the listener or reader. With my mind now exploding anew, dozens of books read, coupled with dozens of Great Courses, now called Wondrium courses, listened to and watched, all knowledge that existed within me began to coalesce in rapid fire towards piercing through the veil of illusion and seeing the eternal and real. So, I will have to go to my notes in this episode and as such, I’m already anticipating that I may sound much more mechanical and boring versus the previous episodes. Though I have mountains of journal entries and notes for everything that’s been explained throughout this season, sitting down and actually drafting it has been rather easy. These experiences have always remained in my conscious memory as giant foam fingers pointing to the spiritual and to the experience of God. But much like there was very little I could point to prior to the near-death death experience, specifically because that event became such a catalyst for the next phase of my life, so too during these brief three and a half months after my dream of the statue of Anubis and the goddess Isis, all is a blur, since the new nexus point in my mind has become the mystical experience of Ascending to the Temple of the Father on March 25th, 2018. But I will try to put the pieces together, both for myself, as well as for those listening and reading. I was still heavy into conspiracy stuff at this time, and as I mentioned, there’s something about holding different paradigms of thought in the mind that aids in this explosion of seeing the exact same connections and patterns and symbols, though apparently different, hidden behind the veil of the seen that ultimately reveals the unseen. All conspiracy stuff ended though after these experiences beyond what I’ve expressed as the media driven politically motivated stuff, and even that has rarely seeped through over these past four years. I’m mentioning this because I was reading about the Virginia elections, today being November 4th and two days after, and I was thinking about why was I reading into this and how long has it been since I even peered into these political type things? Well, I’m exactly a year removed from last years elections and the podcast episode that spoke on such things, so the cyclical nature of my mind seeking political news returned at the exact same time it had returned last year. Almost as if on cue, or due to the seasonality of politics and voting occurring in November. It’s a weird thing I’ve noticed after skimming through so many notes and meditating on such things, but it’s as if the mind, or consciousness itself has its own seasons. Like if you’ve ever woken up and wondered why on this day you were suddenly thinking of this song or movie or book, or this memory appears, or these thoughts are crossing your mind when they hadn’t the day before, especially without any external stimuli to conjure the memory or thoughts up, it seems as if there’s a cyclical aspect to the mind itself. I’ve spoken repeatedly of time being cyclical and though we can calculate and quantize time as humankind has for thousands of years, the concept of it still requires mental activity and thought for it to actually exist. Kind of like the old Buddhist riddle of if a tree falls in the forest and nobody is there to witness it, does it make a sound? Without humanity to contemplate time, does time exist? Anyways, there’s a seasonality of thoughts, as if whatever that part of consciousness that is consciousness and wherever it dwells in the mind revolves through the physical brain like a planet. It has its own grounding or the common and frequently used thinking, but during it’s revolutions within the physical aspect of the brain, the mind remembers or thinks of things that it hadn’t prior since it’s now moving through a storage section of the brain it hadn’t in a day, week, month, year, whatever the time period. Just a quick detour comment that I figured I’d toss in here. I’m only saying this because the conspiracy stuff I’d come across, was essentially conspiracy stuff I was coming across again. Right off the top of my head, I know that at the end of 2017, I’d come across the flat earth theory, or I guess a better way of wording it is flat earth revival during these handful of months leading up to March 25th, 2018, and the months after. If you read carefully in Lucifer Revealed towards the end, I express this a bit as the lies of a spherical universe shown through television as a way of taking a snapshot of what my thoughts were then. There are many aspects to this flat earth idea though, and I’ll give you all the details just so you know how at the very least seeing and contemplating the potentiality of lies having been slammed in your mind your entire life can aid in piercing the ultimate illusion and lie of one’s false self, versus the true, spiritual and immortal self. There were three aspects to the flat earth revival that had me thinking and even as I watched it, I remembered that back in 2010, when I said I’d first gotten into some of the conspiracy stuff, I’d watched things then that I’d forgotten, but had now revived in my mind while watching anew. I also expressed many of these various theories I’d come across as confusion in my mind in the opening of the Vision Explained Deeper work found at the logosofexperienceandtruth.com, and that all of this confusion required clarity. These are the three aspects to the flat earth and the questions that are raised by it that are either presented by the theory or what I came up with as well: 1) Obviously, is the Earth actually flat, and half a sphere and not an entire sphere? 2) Did we actually go to the moon in 1969? 3) Is there a firmament, or dome-like something up in low-earth orbit that creates the spherical shape and prevents us from leaving low-earth orbit regardless of what’s been shown on television and slammed into each and every one’s mind since birth for the past couple of generations. Now, I already stated my current stance on school and media driven material versus online conspiracy material. Believing one and denying the other is no different than believing one and denying the other, at least as it pertains to one’s perceptions of what is true and what is not true. For what is true and what is not true ultimately exists in the mind of each individual and regardless of what’s been shown, explained, or said to be proven, the acceptance and belief of whatever is seen as truth still rests in the mind of each. The issue for the mystic, or those that dive deeply within these understandings arises when a difficult question is asked of oneself in the search for truth. Did I choose to believe in everything I believe, or were those beliefs implanted into my mind by any of the various forms that could’ve transmitted the implantation of said belief? As an example, let’s use something non-conspiratorial that I’ve mentioned a few times: my stance on the Lotus position for meditation. Up until I’d actually tried to meditate, I’d seen people seated in the Lotus position but did not know that’s what it was called. I only tried to meditate in the position because I’d read and heard and seen a diagram of a straight line for the spine while meditating in this position and that it’s seen as the best position for meditating. So I tried it, and tried it, and tried it, but hated and hated it. However as a newbie, my mind wanted to accept what I’d read of it being the best position for meditating, but since my own personal experience and bodily sensations told me otherwise, I was able to reject this position as being the best for meditation for myself, understood even way back then in 2001 or 2002 that seeing it as the best position, though attested to with much proof and many millennia of examples and proof, it was still something that I had to conform my mind to believe. And if I believed it, then I’d believe it because I was being told to believe it, not because my experience was yielding the belief for me since my experience was telling me otherwise. The belief and understanding of the Lotus position as the best position for meditation is a paradigm of thought that revolves around its status as the best position. A paradigm of thought though, when looked at carefully, does not require conscious belief to be seen as true, for if dwelling within the paradigm one does not see any alternative for the alternative doesn’t exist within the paradigm, especially if the paradigm itself forces other paradigms out, and or fights to keep them out. Not saying that’s what occurs with the Lotus position in whatever religion or culture it’s held to such high regard, I’m just stating the reality of most paradigms of thought. Thus, the belief in the Lotus position as the best position for meditation doesn’t necessarily mean that it was consciously chosen by those that believe this postulation, and thus for those within the paradigm that the Lotus position is the best position for meditation, this can itself, now become part of the illusion of maya. There’s a famous scientific work on this paradigm idea. I can’t remember what it’s called, especially because I haven’t read the entirety of it and don’t own a copy of it and have only come across excerpts of it, but it’s on my buy list for future books to find when I make my round back to studying science again. But without any knowledge of this work, I understood this concept by meditating on which of these millions of voices and ideas within my mind were my own, and which ones had been given, injected, or slammed into my mind, specifically seen while meditating on if I believed in God, and why did I believe in God? I’ve already explained the why I believed in God: due to my near-death death experience, but that eventually because of the influence and obvious paradigm insertion into the works and ideas of St. John of the Cross, I began to purge this experience away from my mind as the basis for my faith and that it eventually led to a deeper Desert of the Soul experience versus solely getting rid of teachings I thought were whack, or abandoning spiritual phenomena that though cool to see and experience, didn’t really bring me any closer to both the understanding of God, or to experiencing God again. So again, the question, much like how in the first season I asked you to ponder if you’ve ever really had your own thought, so too if we dive deeper. Since thought is conscious and belief is subconscious: Did you come to believe each of your beliefs consciously, or were they implanted into your mind unawares due to living within the paradigm of belief and structure itself in whatever family, town, city, state, country, religion to which you were born, and that such beliefs simply insert themselves into the subconscious minds of those that dwell within the paradigm of belief? So let’s use a more hot button topic to explore this with. I’ll ask a question, two questions, and the question applies to both sides, since both sides are equally a paradigm when looked at carefully. And only you listening or reading can be honest with yourself on the answers to these questions. First question. Have you already made your decision regarding abortion? I’m positive that was probably a quick answer for most especially in the USA. Second question. Prior to reaching your decision on abortion, did you read the actual law and what the Chief Justices at the time said about Roe v Wade? I’ll pause for a bit, though I’m positive the majority listening or reading, on both sides, had to think about this one and that the majority have a “No,” response in their mind. The next question, which again, reveals the paradigm to which one exists, is if you didn’t read the actual law of Roe v Wade and yet reached your conclusion and decision regarding abortion, then how did you come to that conclusion or decision, and did you actually make a conscious decision that was not utterly dependent on the paradigm to which your mind exists, regarding abortion? If you’re within the paradigm and everything in the paradigm in which you exist is telling you and reflecting back to you the paradigm, then is the decision actually conscious? Are all beliefs that are believed in conscious, only some, or are any? You can ponder on this yourself and meditate and examine pretty much anything that you’ve accepted as truth: if you actually accepted it consciously, or if all you did was accept what the paradigm that you exist within has told you, and further, is doing this an actual conscious choice? For instance, and I may have done this already and if I did, sorry for repeating myself. The old Coke or Pepsi challenge. If I put a can of Coke and Pepsi in front of you and tell you to choose to drink one, how many choices of drink do you have? The majority will say Coke or Pepsi, for those are the two paradigms that one is being presented with and since its easier for humans to dwell within a paradigm, they will choose either Coke or Pepsi. But there are two other options that exist. Not partaking in the Coke or Pepsi challenge and or not drinking either if presented with the choice, or getting an empty glass and pouring them both into the same glass. So denying either of the paradigms one is presented with, or combining the different paradigms in some way are also options, though not quickly seen. See where I’m going with this? And as a caveat to the atheist or scientist that has listened thus far that thinks perhaps I haven’t actually considered the not believing side of God, hopefully my explaining the nature of the paradigm and my understanding of it as it pertains to actual conscious choosing and believing, and my desire to understand, root out, and find and fully make true conscious decisions, has washed that potential idea away. I said I’d been knee-deep in conspiracy stuff didn’t I? And that after my dream of Isis and Anubis, I had to dive into ancient history, right? Unfortunately, You Tubing ancient Sumerian for instance, brings with it a lot of conspiracy stuff. Going further, for the Catholic that delves into conspiracy stuff, there’s a whole megaton load of conspiracy stuff about the evil Catholic church and the evil popes and black popes. Then it got into the ancient alien theories of the Sumerian Annunaki beings and that the royalty in the world, including the Vatican, are really preserving these ancient blood lines of the aliens that came down and formed the world and that royalty are the descendants of the nephilim of Bible lore and thus contain blood or DNA of these otherworldly god-like beings, while the rest of the world are the mud-people that were created to serve them and many other such theories. Interesting that several other cultures have the same type of creation myth, but far pre-date modern conspiracy stuff. I think it was the Chinese or Japanese where the goddess first formed human beings, but got tired and exhausted from doing it by hand one at a time. So instead, I think she threw a bunch of rocks into the mud like in the Greek myth, or dragged a stick through the mud or something like that and the rest of the subservient humanity came from the flakes and dust, while those first handmade people become the elite or royal ones. If you understand this about thought, belief and the paradigms that exist within the mind, then the question is, or at least for me, how does one change the paradigm, truly? If I for instance believed everything these conspiracy things were speaking about regarding the Church and then moved or merged into the paradigm of disbelieving the Church and believing the conspiracy, then I would do nothing more than switch one paradigm for another and would still be subservient to the new paradigm. I could choose to ignore the paradigm to which I exist and/or ignore the paradigm of the conspiracy, but then I’d be choosing ignorance, and the learning mind of the human being typically won’t allow that, at least for very long. I could choose to shatter the paradigm to which I exist, or the new paradigm, by destroying either/or with knowledge of either/or, but then all that means is I destroyed one for the other and was simply existing in whichever paradigm I chose to champion. If I ignore my paradigm for another though, then in a way, I am ignoring my life, my past, the culture to which I was born, and will lose all memory and learning prior to the shift, for the shift itself would skewer the mind and the acquired ideas towards seeing the old as worthless compared to the new, even though one would have done nothing more than change one paradigm for another. Quite difficult when you break it down like this. But there is a path. There is a teaching. There is a way and it is the most difficult path possible when it comes to the paradigm of thought that exists within ourselves. It is quite possibly the most difficult of all the teachings of the Christ: love your enemies, which itself, was Christ creating a new paradigm of thought. This is not to say that every single paradigm one exists in creates an enemy out of every paradigm that is different, but it does have a tendency of occurring. For instance during my gaming years at first it was Nintendo versus Sega, then Sony versus Nintendo, then Sony versus Xbox. And the vitriol that both sides would heap upon one another for who’s system was the best was omnipresent everywhere anybody started talking about video games, even though both sides were doing the exact same thing: playing video games, though within the paradigm, or system, of choice. And the same patterns would arise. Some exclusively chose one or the other, some tried both but favored one over the other, and then some would buy all video game systems and say they were all the same, and then others would leave the console wars and go PC gaming since Apple wasn’t really a gaming system and thus wasn’t seen as a separate paradigm. Read the full article

[yeonchi]

Thirteenth Doctor Reviews: The Final Verdict (and Ncuti Gatwa is the Doctor)

In July 2017, Jodie Whittaker was announced as the Thirteenth Doctor, taking over Peter Capaldi’s Twelfth Doctor as the first actress to play the Doctor. Seeing the reaction to the casting led me to realise that I should see how she does in the series first before making any judgements, which I expressed in a November 2017 post that served as the prelude to this review series. Cut to May 2022 and Ncuti Gatwa was announced to be taking over as the Doctor after Jodie Whittaker announced her departure alongside Chris Chibnall the year before.

Given how much time has passed between July 2017 and now, it’s amazing to see how things have changed throughout this time. When I started this review series in October 2018, I had come out of a pretty toxic phase in my internet career (that almost saw me deplatformed) and was trying to find my feet after turning a new leaf. Now in October 2022, I’m talking about the things I love (from a new point of view) while maintaining a balance between my personal and online lives. It’s almost like this review series has seen me through a significant phase of character development.

Now with Jodie Whittaker and Chris Chibnall’s era on Doctor Who well and truly over, I take a look back at my reviews and give my final reflections and verdict for the whole era.

Series recap

These are recaps of each series’ reviews with some extra thoughts made in hindsight.

Series 11

Series 11 is the series I have the most positive view of, though part of it can be attributed to me being a bit dense on SJW politics and trying to find ways to justify it in my head. Graham O’Brien, Ryan Sinclair and Yasmin Khan join the Doctor as her diverse fam from different walks of life. There is no major running story arc in this series and given what we saw in the next two series, it’s another reason why I see this series in a more positive light.

Despite this, the series does still have its flaws. Why wasn’t Krasko’s past elaborated on so as to give context on what people he murdered or why he, as someone presumably from the 52nd century, thought the Civil Rights Movement was when “things started to go wrong”? Why did the Doctor criticise Jack Robertson for shooting the giant spider even though she knew it was dying anyway? Why wasn’t Manish the one who shot Prem instead of that other guy?

According to Bowlestrek (and possibly some others), this series felt like a slight on white men and single fathers, with several episodes containing at least one villain-coded white male, but I honestly didn’t feel that vibe when I first watched those episodes. I probably wouldn’t feel that vibe if I watched those episodes again, but hey, I’m not a white Canadian who’s bitter about SJWs taking over multiple fandoms, I’m an Asian-Australian with niche interests who’s becoming bitter at the world around me and trying to understand why.

Also, I said that I liked The Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos, but given how Chibnall admitted that it was his least favourite script of his entire tenure because the filmed version was only the first draft (he didn't have time to do a second draft because he was helping all the rookie writers and doing rewrites), I want to come out and say that I only liked the episode ironically.

Series 12

With the previous series electing not to bring back any old enemies, Series 12 decided to revisit the broken trend (following the return of the Daleks in the previous New Year’s Special, Resolution), with the first returning villain being the Master, who was last thought to have been killed on the Mondasian colony ship as Missy. This series also reintroduced two-parters after doing away with them in the previous series. Notably, I went on holiday just as the third episode aired and came back just before the fifth episode premiered on Australia, so I ended up having to write up reviews for three episodes in the space of five days. Luckily, I wrote down some notes on my phone so I was able to get them out quicker.

Unfortunately, this series is what redpilled me to the SJW agenda going on in the Chibnall era. Orphan 55 served as nothing but a lecture about climate change without at least a decent resolution to the remaining characters featured in it. Then we get to the biggest turning point of the series, namely the Timeless Child revelation. After the Master revealed to the Doctor that he destroyed Gallifrey in Spyfall Part Two, the Doctor meets a woman named Ruth Clayton in Fugitive of the Judoon, who is apparently revealed to be a previously-unknown incarnation of the Doctor, known as the Fugitive Doctor. The relation between the two Doctors (apart from them being the same) is left up to the viewer until the Master tells the Doctor about the Timeless Child and that she was said child, at which point it becomes implied that the Fugitive Doctor is indeed the Doctor’s past incarnation, on top of being specialer than special.

Yaz does get a bit of a highlight after Graham and Ryan’s mini-arc in the last series, but it isn’t much. Sadly, Graham and Ryan leave the series in Revolution of the Daleks. I probably would have liked them to stay for another year given how things would unfold in 2020, but the filming for Series 12 ended at the end of October 2019 and the filming for Series 13 wouldn’t commence until November 2020, so the timing wouldn’t have been right there.

Series 13

After two years of waiting and an absolutely atrocious promotion campaign that didn’t reveal the release date until three weeks before the premiere, Series 13 came out in a different format than usual. Due to the coronavirus pandemic, Series 13 was slated to be only 8 episodes long instead of 11 (which was already cut down from 13 and a Christmas Special back during the RTD and Moffat eras), which was later confirmed to be a six-episode serial collectively titled Flux along with three specials, one of which was additionally commissioned for the BBC’s Centenary. Following Graham and Ryan’s departure, their place in the TARDIS would be taken by Dan Lewis from Liverpool.

After my redpilling in Series 12, I decided to hold the series to a higher standard than I did before. The series in general was alright, but it still had its flaws; we were jumping all over the place with plot threads and characters who served little relevance until the end, every second episode was extended instead of balancing the lengths of each episode, and the main villains of the series (Swarm and Azure) ended up being overshadowed by lesser villains (the Sontarans and the Grand Serpent) in the finale.

Unsurprisingly, this series doubled down on the Timeless Child revelation, with a woman, revealed to be Tecteun, confirming what the Master said to the Doctor at the end of Series 12, essentially killing off any potential speculation to the contrary. Surprisingly though, the revelation was not elaborated on further as the Doctor dumped the fob watch containing her apparent past into the TARDIS, thereby pussying out of the double-down. The last two episodes of the series were negatively rated because of those reasons.

As for the specials, Eve of the Daleks was a boring New Year’s Special with an annoying female guest character, while Legend of the Sea Devils was a pretty good Easter Special with good Cantonese language representation, though it felt like it could have been a regular episode seeing as it was only 50 minutes long and it had no mention of Easter. Although The Power of the Doctor, in the end, never revisited or retconned the Timeless Child revelation, it brought back old companions and Doctors for the memberberries. So admittedly, while Flux in itself was abysmal enough for me to nearly null out my review score, the 2022 Specials kind of redeemed it, but not by much.

Top 5 good things about the Chibnall era

Even among Chibnall’s disgraces to the franchise, we did get some gems out of it. Not gonna lie, it was a bit complicated trying to think of good things to talk about this era.

1. Can You Hear Me?

This episode actually got me to open up about some people from my past and later, it inspired me to talk about the IRL context to the characters and elements featured in my personal project when I started the Kisekae Insights series in the second half of 2020. This episode also provided significant character development for Graham, Ryan and Yaz where it was scarce in other episodes. Of course, there was one element in the episode that in the end, I didn’t like, which I’ll talk about in a bit.

2. Returning characters

In Series 12, we had the surprise return of Captain Jack Harkness in Fugitive of the Judoon before he returned again in Revolution of the Daleks. Unfortunately though, his actor, John Barrowman, had been cancelled earlier in the year due to accusations of sexual harrassment that resurfaced while similar accusations were being raised of Noel Clarke, who played Mickey Smith.

Series 13 saw the return of Kate Stewart with a rather lackluster level of involvement, though that was later made up in The Power of the Doctor, which also featured the return of Ace, Tegan Jovanka, Mel Bush, Jo Jones and Ian Chesterton alongside Graham and Dan. In addition, the First, Fifth, Sixth, Seventh and Eighth Doctors also appeared as projections or figments of the Doctor’s consciousness while at the end, the Tenth Doctor returned as the Fourteenth Doctor in a surprise move to prepare for the 60th anniversary specials in 2023.

In all honesty, the returning characters and allusions to past series during the Chibnall era felt like memberberries because they were coming off a series that was lackluster at best and disgraceful at worst. It didn’t look so bad during the RTD or Moffat eras because for the most part, the former was riding highs of success by the time Series 4 was being produced, while the latter was celebrating the 50th anniversary of the series.

3. Stellar performances from some actors

A couple of actors I’d like to highlight are Sacha Dhawan and Jo Martin, who respectively played O, the Spy Master and Ruth, the Fugitive Doctor. Although they played characters who were admittedly unnecessary (the Master had died and I would have rather had the Rani return, while Ruth, you’ll see later), they did a great job expressing their characters regardless, particularly since the Spy Master felt like a ripoff of John Simm as Harold Saxon, but with a classic series twist (shown by his readoption of the TCE and unique TARDIS among other things) and the Fugitive Doctor felt more like the Doctor than the Thirteenth Doctor was.

I will say though, it’s funny that the Master and Ruth were announced to be getting Big Finish audio spinoffs up to a fortnight after Legend of the Sea Devils aired when it previously took years for the Ninth, Tenth and Eleventh Doctors’ content to be cleared; this happened in August 2014, while in January 2018, the Twelfth Doctor’s content was cleared, just over a week following the broadcast of Twice Upon a Time. From the announcement, it appears as though the Thirteenth Doctor’s content was cleared six months before The Power of the Doctor was released, though it can be argued that the episode was completed a year before. But hey, I suppose if anyone in the Chibnall era deserves a Big Finish spinoff, then it’s the Master and Ruth.

4. Graham and Ryan’s character development

Although Series 11 had no clear-cut story arc, the relationship between Graham and Ryan follows a minor arc in the series as Graham tries to get Ryan to acknowledge him as his stepgrandfather, with a bit of r/FellowKids to boot. We see this in a few episodes where Graham tries to get Ryan to fistbump him only to be rejected, then in the finale, Ryan finally reciprocated Graham’s fistbump. Additionally, this series also shows Graham trying to deal with Grace’s death before finally learning to move on.

5. Select episodes

Aside from Can You Hear Me?, Nikola Tesla’s Night of Terror, Praxeus and The Haunting of Villa Diodati are some of the best episodes out of Series 12. The Haunting of Villa Diodati did seem a little boring at the start, but it all changed once the Lone Cyberman showed up. While there wasn’t an episode in Series 11 I would say that I really liked, Village of the Angels is probably my favourite episode from Series 13; likewise with The Haunting of Villa Diodati, the first half doesn’t have a lot going for it, but the second part is where the episode starts to get good. It’s likely that way because both episodes were written by the same writer (Maxine Alderton) and they were both broadcast before their respective series finales.

As for the specials, Resolution was a pretty great episode, followed by Legend of the Sea Devils and admittedly, The Power of the Doctor.

Top 5 bad things about the Chibnall era

Unsurprisingly, this series feels like it has more negatives than positives, particularly in Series 12 and 13. Originally, my plan for this section was going to be “top 5 bad things about the Chibnall era apart from the Timeless Child”, but I just had to put it in anyway.

1. The Timeless Child storyline

The Timeless Child storyline makes up the main background arc of the Chibnall era, making it a highlight and one of the reasons why this era isn’t fondly received by a lot of people.

The first mention of the Timeless Child was in The Ghost Monument, then it wasn’t mentioned again until the end of Spyfall Part Two, when the Master revealed that he destroyed Gallifrey because of what he learnt about the Timeless Child. In Fugitive of the Judoon, the inclusion of Ruth and the Fugitive Doctor was a secret addition on Chibnall’s part (I wouldn’t really say last-minute tbh) that played into his plans for the arc. Ascension of the Cybermen featured a C-plot centred around an Irish policeman named Brendan, which was revealed to have been a cover-up for the Timeless Child revelation that would be elaborated on in the next episode, The Timeless Children.

The story goes that Tecteun, a Shobogan and one of the indigenous beings of Gallifrey, found the Timeless Child beneath a wormhole into another universe and adopted them. However, upon discovering their ability to regenerate following an accident, Tecteun studied and experimented the Timeless Child for a way to replicate this regeneration, presumably killing them multiple times in the process while doing so (as regeneration is normally seen as the death of an incarnation). Eventually, Tecteun was able to replicate this on herself and as a result, she gave this power to other Shobogans, but limiting them to a maximum of twelve regenerations. This was the creation of the Time Lords, thereby making the Timeless Child their genetic template. Later on, the Timeless Child would come to work for the Division alongside Tecteun and eventually, Tecteun would have their memories removed as they became the Doctor and decided to leave the Division (presumably in their Ruth incarnation).

With this, the Doctor is no longer originally from Gallifrey and the First Doctor is not the first incarnation of the Doctor that we know. The Doctor ends up being a chosen one that spawns a group of chosen ones only to end up being reduced to the group they spawned. If this origin story was exclusive to the extended media (like the story of The Other) then it would have been fine, but it was introduced on-screen on a series where TV is god. It raises too many questions and plot holes, it makes the Doctor’s past complicated (as if it wasn’t complicated enough) and it was never deeply elaborated on again.

Later on, near the end of Flux, the Doctor would come into possession of the fob watch apparently containing all the lost memories of her past as the Timeless Child, but when she had the opportunity to open it and regain her memories, she decided to dump it in the TARDIS.

In an interview with Doctor Who Magazine, Chibnall admitted that the inspiration for this storyline was personal as he was adopted and he wanted to explore the adoption myth, about where someone is from versus who someone is. Mind you, in a world where #StopAsianHate crybabies think asking “Where are you really from?” is a microaggression, this really isn’t a good look. Also, being adopted doesn’t give Chibnall an excuse to disrespect nearly 60 years of canon the way he did. In a video breaking down the story of Flux and putting it into context with the Timeless Child arc, Chibnall justifies pussying out of the double-down as a “be careful what you wish for” kind of thing, but by that point, we had waited two years for something significant to come out of it, so it just felt a bit spiteful.

People say that the Timeless Child twist allows new stories to be told and adds mystery to the Doctor’s character. In regards to the first point, The Time of the Doctor already did so by giving the Doctor another regeneration cycle. While it does potentially allow alternate and non-canon Doctors to be canonised, I’d rather it be left to the fandom or extended media and not dictated by the TV series itself. In regards to the second point, unpopular opinion, but the Doctor doesn’t need any more mystery than they already have since the Moffat era, particularly when it destroys canon the way the Timeless Child arc did. We know that the Doctor is a Time Lord from Gallifrey who stole a TARDIS and became a renegade. Thanks to RTD, we know that the Time Lords fought the Daleks in the Time War and both sides were wiped out thanks to the Doctor. Thanks to Moffat, we know that neither the Eighth or the Ninth Doctors fought in the Time War, but a previously unknown incarnation who future incarnations rejected, but later came to accept. The Hybrid arc ended up being unnecessary, but it wasn’t as bad as the Timeless Child arc was even with the answer being non-existent or deliberately ambiguous. Also, over 30 years have passed since the Valeyard’s introduction and nobody ever bothered to address his existence yet. What gives?

Before the double-down, a lot of people were hoping that the Master was lying about what he discovered. Some went the easy way out and speculated that the Master was the Timeless Child, but I don’t agree with it because the Master’s past is likely just as complicated as the Doctors and even then, it doesn’t address Ruth’s place in the timeline (I’ll buy pre-Hartnell at best, but not between the Second and Third Doctors).

However, my ideal solution would be that the Doctor is actually cloned from the Timeless Child and that Ruth is one of the Timeless Child’s incarnations. The Time Lords attempted to clone the Timeless Child but ended up creating an ordinary male Time Lord instead, so they dumped him somewhere and left him to live his life as he did. The clone eventually becomes the Thirteenth Doctor and meets the Timeless Child again, who is now in her Ruth incarnation, and after a few encounters, she encounters Ruth getting their memories erased by the Division. The Doctor somehow saved the Timeless Child and set them up to live a new life; maybe they became a child again without their memories and the Doctor brought them back to the planet where Tecteun found them and they began walking hand-in-hand towards the future, or the Doctor managed to prevent or interrupt the process and save Ruth while also defeating the Division for good before leaving her to live her own life in her TARDIS. Or better yet, don’t do the Timeless Child altogether and instead address something else that’s important, say the Valeyard. Though I must say, given how this arc was never elaborated on in the 2022 specials, I think I could buy the Doctor being a clone of the Timeless Child and Tecteun deciding not to reveal that the Doctor was a clone so as to save her the trouble of wondering whether she was the clone or not, like the Space Beth arc in Rick and Morty.

Personally, I will not accept that the Doctor was the Timeless Child or had any incarnations pre-Hartnell First, including Ruth or the Morbius incarnations (which I believe to be Morbius’ incarnations); William Hartnell’s First Doctor always was, and always will be, the original Doctor.

2. The Doctor’s callous dismissal of Graham’s cancer concerns

Towards the end of Can You Hear Me?, Graham tells the Doctor about his fear that his cancer might come back before the Doctor responds, “I’m still quite socially awkward” without any reassuring words. In another interview with Doctor Who Magazine, Chibnall states that Graham’s cancer concerns were inspired from his own cancer diagnosis at the age of 22. After learning this, I honestly think that scene is totally something r/thathappened, but this is fiction, not real life, so it wouldn’t have hurt to put in some reassuring words because fiction doesn’t have to follow real life to a T. Heck, even Chibnall admitted in that interview that there was another version of that scene where the Doctor does give Graham some reassuring words. Here, I’ll give you my example that I quickly made up in the first hiatusbreaker update: “I should say a reassuring thing now, shouldn’t I? I’m still quite socially awkward, but I just want you to know that you’ve got me, Ryan and Yaz in the TARDIS, and we’ll be there for you if anything happens, just as you have been there for us.”

OK, so people might not know how to respond to something they have no experience of (which is understandable) and Chibnall was just trying to express that through the Doctor, but you’d think that the Doctor has lived for so long that they would at least be able to show empathy and support, particularly in an episode that mainly focused on mental health issues. Even with context, the way the scene was written still makes it look like the Doctor was being callously dismissive of Graham’s concerns. Yes, I know the Doctor said she was socially awkward and that I said in my review that her fam should have known this because they’ve been with her for so long, but sometimes opinions change when you get a better understanding of the situation from different people and it still doesn’t excuse the way she dodged the subject.

Look, being adopted and being diagnosed with cancer when you’re young are relatable situations, but this feels like Chibnall brought them up as excuses for the flawed writing in the respective episodes.

3. Hamfisted SJW politics without entertaining stories to back them up

The third episodes of Series 11 and 12, Rosa and Orphan 55, were the two series-requisite SJW-fest episodes focusing on social justice topics, namely racism and climate change. Unfortunately, they didn’t end up being as entertaining as expected; Rosa failed to elaborate on the background behind Krasko’s imprisonment and racism, while Orphan 55 failed to provide a decent resolution for Bella and Kane, making the episode’s ending feel like the Doctor lecturing the audience. I suppose improving the episodes the way I suggested wouldn’t do much to change the nature of how the episodes were presented, but at least it would make it entertaining.

Arachnids in the UK and Revolution of the Daleks featured Jack Robertson, an American businessman who served as an expy of Donald Trump, though in retrospect, given events that happened in the past two years, he could also be seen as an expy of Joe Biden, given how Robertson was shown to hate Trump in-universe (meaning that he could only be a Democrat candidate) and his actor, Chris Noth, is a liberal who got #MeToo’d in 2021. It’s so hilariously pathetic.

War of the Sontarans was an entertaining episode, but it featured Mary Seacole, who some say wasn’t actually a nurse even though she did help save lives on the battlefield. I didn’t know a lot about Mary Seacole and I’m not from the UK so I didn’t really care much for her character, but I believe that Seacole should be applauded for the good deeds she did, whether she was actually a nurse or not.

4. Lack of promotion and elusive marketing

I don’t know if it’s just me, but there hasn’t been a lot of marketing surrounding this series, with each series only getting trailers or release dates three weeks before their premiere. Even in the RTD or Moffat eras, the promotion of the series typically began at least three months before they were due to premiere. During Series 13, however, the BBC were being deliberately elusive with their promotion of the series with their #FindTheDoctor ARG that didn’t even reveal an airdate followed by an advertising campaign in Liverpool that also involved them deactivating their social media accounts for a day. The fact that the whole campaign won awards just shows how people will accept anything when they’ve been blueballed for two years.

On top of that, there used to be a lot more behind-the-scenes insights before the Chibnall era with Doctor Who Confidential, but as the years went on, the featurettes became shorter, now going up to around 5 minutes at most. Additionally, from 2009 to 2013, there were quite a number of documentaries produced as retrospectives to the series, with a majority of them being produced by BBC America in response to the series’ growing interest in the US and the 50th anniversary. All this reduction in behind-the-scenes content just goes to show how far this series has fallen over the past decade.

5. Poor writing and lack of significant character development

While Graham and Ryan did get significant character development throughout their appearances on the series, the Doctor and Yaz didn’t get much compared to them.

The Thirteenth Doctor ended up being an expy of the Tenth and Eleventh Doctors without any attempt to make her unique or understanding how the Tenth and Eleventh Doctors’ qualities make them unique. The Thirteenth Doctor’s moral outrages at people killing enemies (like the giant spider, the Sontarans and Marsissus the Sea Devil) were clearly ripped off from similar notions from the Tenth Doctor, along with his aversion to weapons, survivor’s guilt and “no second chances” attitude, but Chibnall didn’t seem to understand why those elements mattered to the Tenth Doctor nor the potential consequences of keeping the enemies alive. Aside from the Timeless Child, there’s no particular moment in this series that cements the Thirteenth Doctor as the Doctor (yes, I mentioned that thing at the start of Series 11, but that was post-regenerative and things have changed since then). I suppose the Doctor’s character can be summed up by whatever it says on the TARDIS Data Core article about her, but I don’t think that it’s enough.

Yaz got very little character development during Series 11 and 12, but then Series 13 went out of its way to regress her character development. OK, so we know that Yaz is a socially-awkward Muslim who was bullied at school and suffered racism while working as a police officer, but meeting the Doctor changed her life and eventually, she decided to quit the police force after randomly going on secondment for extended periods of time (and those ten months she spent being obsessed with finding the Doctor). Upon being separated from the Doctor and Dan in the Crimea and being transported to the Temple of Atropos, we saw that she had to have “WWTDD” - “What would the Doctor do?” - written on her hand (like a child) when at that point in her adventures with the Doctor, that phrase should have been the first thing that came to mind, not to mention that she has also been a police officer, potentially signifying that Yaz is too incompetent to rely on her instincts and logic. Later on, when Yaz gets trapped in the 20th century with Dan and Professor Jericho, she couldn’t recall the year they had to get back to even though she and Dan were supposed to know. They only figure it out once they get to Joseph Williamson’s tunnels in Liverpool and they find the door leading back to 2021. I don’t really believe in it myself, but there’s a reason why people like Bowlestrek and NoelZone call her “Yaz the plank”.

Throughout her run, the Doctor seemingly showed favouritism towards Yaz, which the fandom soon spinned into a ship known as “Thasmin”. This ship was explored during Series 13, but it was kind of rushed and there wasn’t much development because Chris Chibnall and Matt Strevens never planned on exploring it, though the resolution was okay. Eve of the Daleks apparently showed Dan “outing” Yaz to the Doctor, but I’m not LGBT so I can’t really comment on it.

Dan, like Yaz, doesn’t get a lot of character development, but I feel like we know enough about him in his first episode to conclude that he doesn’t need it that much, not to mention his sense of humor and the meme of him being “Evil Dan”.

And one more thing, I’ve got to mention Ryan’s dyspraxia, because it was only mentioned in like five episodes and it didn’t play that much a part in his character development nor do we see it affecting his adventures with the Doctor negatively. Chibnall could have written Ryan with autism and I wouldn’t be able to notice this.

A common rebuttal for the Chibnall era being bad because of its wokeness is “It’s not the politics, it’s the writing!” Um, is it possible that both things (among others) could have contributed to the Chibnall era being bad? Let me put it another way: The series isn’t bad because the writing is woke, but the series is woke because the writing is bad.

During the RTD and Moffat eras, the showrunners were working on other shows while working on Doctor Who; RTD was producing Casanova while working on Series 1, then was overseeing Torchwood and The Sarah Jane Adventures throughout Series 2 to 4 and even continuing after stepping down as showrunner in 2009, while Steven Moffat was producing Sherlock alongside Mark Gatiss simultaneously throughout his run as showrunner. Chris Chibnall, however, was not shown to be overseeing anything else while realising his “five-year plan” for Doctor Who (though given the coronavirus pandemic, he probably couldn’t do anything else even if he wanted to), so in all honesty, he had no excuse for the quality of writing we got from him. On the other hand, though, the Chibnall era was all about fresh blood in the name of diversity, so I could probably forgive the amateurish quality as being produced by rookies and not by experienced individuals. We can only hope that the RTD2 era will really bring back the show we knew and loved.

Final points tally

So in a few episodes, the Doctor has been giving out points, which she changed to gold stars and stickers as the series went on. Out of interest, I’ve been keeping a tally and I’d thought I’d sum everything up to see how everyone did.

Yaz: 20 (10 points S11E5, gold star S12E6)

Ryan: 20 (gold star S11E6, gold star S12E6)

The Doctor: 5 (given by Ruth S12E4)

Graham: 10 (gold star S12E6)

Gabriela/Adam/Jake: 10 (one gold star each S12E6)

Jack Harkness: 10 (gold star NY2021)

Mary Seacole: 15 (gold star and sticker S13E2)

The Master: 15 (self-granted gold star and sticker BBC100)

Yaz and Ryan are at equal first with 20 points, Mary Seacole and the Master are at equal second with 15 points (if you want to count the Master giving himself points), Graham along with Gabriela, Adam and Jake from Praxeus are third with 10 points and ironically, the Doctor is last at 5 points.

Final era rating and verdict

Specials are included in the ratings.

Series 11: 81/110 (73%)

Series 12: 83/110 (75%)

Series 13: 18/90 (20%) Hypothetical: 47/90 (52%) Conservative: 27/90 (30%)

Final era total: 175/310 (56%) Hypothetical era total: 211/310 (68%) Conservative era total: 191/310 (61%)

In the end, despite all the flaws and disgraces I pointed out with the Chibnall era, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I compared Chris Chibnall with Kamen Rider producer Shinichiro Shirakura and writers Shoji Yonemura and Toshiki Inoue; that comparison continues to stand even at the end of the Chibnall era. In terms of wokeness, to compare the three showrunners of the revived series up to now, RTD is someone who has been woke from the beginning, yet knows how to subtly incorporate politics in a way that still makes the episode entertaining; Steven Moffat is someone who had to learn how to be woke judging from the reception of Series 10; while Chris Chibnall is the r/FellowKids version of woke. The way the Chibnall era was presented seemed to be appealing to a new generation of younger viewers (given the modern music used in Series 11 and its promos back in 2018), but as time went on, it seemingly stopped appealing to some of the more hardcore fans with the Timeless Child arc. Would I still go to say that Chibnall is a hack writer? Maybe. I’m not a good judge of acting skill or film production, but I like to think that everyone, cast and crew alike, did an okay job with what they were given; undoubtedly, this era would have been better with different people at the helm.

Look, I’ve been trying to stay positive about this entire series, but I think we all need to accept that this era of Doctor Who sucked. If there’s one thing I’ve learnt over the past 2-3 years, it’s that sometimes, the people you hate, or the people you think you’re supposed to hate, were right about some things (but not necessarily everything) all along. In politics, it might be the people you call conspiracy theorists, grifters, anti-vaxxers, facists and Nazis, or even individuals like Donald Trump, Elon Musk, Nigel Farage, Pauline Hanson or Craig Kelly. In Doctor Who, it’s the people you might call racists, sexists, or NMDs (Not My Doctors); the people you gatekeeping assholes don’t consider fans because you think fans have to accept everything offered to you like consumers without being allowed to complain. Yes, and I am really saying this, people like Bowlestrek, Nerdrotic, Heel vs Babyface and NoelZone were right all along.

Although I don’t join in the fan discourse of the series on social media, I have to condemn the actions of people like Trilbee (Mr Tardis), Jay Exci and Tharries; Trilbee’s videos on Bowlestrek incited his fans to harass him, with one even making repugnant remarks about him doing something unspeakable with dogs, Jay Exci debating Bowlestrek and failing to properly counter anything he says while giving the excuse that he was tired, and Tharries used Bowlestrek and NoelZone for clout before turning on them. I’m just listing vague examples here, but I’m sure other people may have receipts. You may think NMDs are bad, but let me tell you that the people calling out NMDs are just as bad as them, so they should stop trying to act like they’re innocent of their actions just because they have the clout of their enabling fanbases.

When I started these reviews, I set out two questions that I hoped to answer with these reviews. I briefly answered them in the prelude for the Flux reviews and I’ll answer them again in this post:

1. How does Jodie Whittaker’s performance set the bar for other Doctors after her, male or female?

If it weren’t for Jo Martin and The Power of the Doctor, Jodie Whittaker would have set a really low bar for future female Doctors, but now, I can say that maybe another woman can become the Doctor in 10-15 years and do a better job than Jodie Whittaker, regardless of whether you feel she did her best with the material she was given. As I said in the aforementioned post, just because one Doctor acts one way doesn’t mean another Doctor will act the same way and as such, each Doctor should be measured and judged individually.

2. Will the so-called “SJW/feminist/diversity agenda” affect the way I see and think about Doctor Who?

Admittedly, it did, but it was mostly because Chibnall was being rather unsubtle about it, and even then, all the SJW red flags I found, especially in regards to Rosa and Orphan 55, got me talking about racism and climate change among other things. I was hoping that I’d find something offensive about Hong Kong, but it’s good that there wasn’t; in fact, Legend of the Sea Devils did a good job in Cantonese language representation, something that was last seen briefly in the third episode of the Third Doctor serial, The Mind of Evil. There was also the case of Chibnall adding LGBT characters for representation in Series 11 before they got killed off, but Praxeus did it right because the LGBT representation wasn’t killed off in the end.

Looking forward to RTD2 and Ncuti Gatwa

Admittedly, I was going to do a post about Ncuti Gatwa’s casting back in May, but I never really got around to it, so I’m doing this here.

So right after The Power of the Doctor concluded, we got a sneak peek into the 60th Anniversary Specials, then a couple of days later, the new Doctor Who logo was unveiled, reverting to a classic design, while also announcing that the BBC are joining forces with Disney on Doctor Who, with the BBC continuing to broadcast the show in the UK while the rest of the world (except Ireland) will have it exclusively on Disney+. Also, Disney is expected to give the show higher budgets than before, on top of Sony having a majority stake in Bad Wolf Studios, so yeah. OK, I can kind of get behind putting it on Disney+ worldwide so everyone can get it at the same time (and without ads unlike on BBC America), but why does it have to be streaming-exclusive? In Australia, the ABC will no longer be airing new episodes as a result and I don’t know how many other countries will get screwed over because they can’t watch it for free.

Honestly, the only reason why the series is still on the BBC in the UK (aside from them being the creators of the series) is because RTD is a fervent supporter of the BBC and the licence fee. I know that streaming appears to be the growing trend nowadays, but aside from it being free, I watch the episodes on ABC iView because I know they’ll be available on there right after they premiere in the UK so I can watch them as quickly as possible in order to avoid spoilers. While the Disney+ deal does make it easier for some people to watch the episodes, it’s actually become harder for others to do the same. I hope the BBC and Disney are able to chalk up some kind of a deal to give broadcasting rights to other broadcasters including the ABC, but if nothing changes by November next year, at least we’ll always have torrents.

Going into conspiracy theory territory and speculate on why things are the way they are. I suspect that RTD was asked to come back after the outrage that the Timeless Child arc caused; the BBC fired Chibnall and decided not to renew Jodie Whittaker’s contract, but were told that they could do a final series to wrap things up. Jodie leaving after three series would be believable, but Chibnall leaving after one Doctor would be surprising. If it weren’t for RTD’s willingness to return, the series may have been cancelled and The Power of the Doctor would likely have ended with a fade to black. Other conspiracy theories say that “Chaos in Cardiff” actually happened and that Chibnall and Whittaker were going to quit after Series 11 but were asked to return for Series 12, but that kind of neglects Chibnall’s “five-year plan” comment from the start of his era. There’s also the “hostile takeover” theory I covered in the Flux prelude which kind of turned out to be true but not really. I guess time will only tell.

UPDATE - 19 November 2022: So RTD has come out and confessed that he asked the BBC if he could come back to Doctor Who as early as December 2020 following the lockdown tweetalong for The Runaway Bride when he suggested the idea to Catherine Tate, who then suggested it to David Tennant. Once he knew that both of them were willing to return, RTD emailed Piers Wenger, Director of Drama at the BBC, to throw the idea out there. While this may have been the case, there is still the possibility that either person wanted to return to Doctor Who or the BBC was willing to let RTD come back because of the outrage that the Timeless Child revelation caused. Given what we would later see during Series 13, it was a good thing that RTD decided to come back when he did.

When Ncuti Gatwa was announced as the Doctor back in May, my first thought was, “Well, at least the Doctor’s a man again.” Jo Martin aside, Ncuti will be the first black actor to play a numbered incarnation of the Doctor and his incarnation is slated to be the first gay Doctor. RTD has stated that Ncuti’s casting wasn’t about diversity and representation, but a couple of days before that, he stated that he had someone else in mind before Ncuti came in to audition and “simply stole it”, which makes me a little suspicious, but at any rate I look forward to seeing how he does as the Doctor.

Aside from Ncuti, Yasmin Finney, a trans-female actor, has been cast as Rose and is slated to be the new companion with her debut being in the 60th anniversary specials. On top of that, David Tennant has been announced to be returning as the Fourteenth Doctor alongside Catherine Tate, (the late) Bernard Cribbins, Jacqueline King and Karl Collins, reprising their roles from the RTD era. Neil Patrick Harris has also been cast as a villain who is apparently slated to be the Celestial Toymaker, but further details aren’t known as of yet.

UPDATE - 19 November 2022: Apparently Millie Gibson has been cast as Ruby Sunday, who will be the Fifteenth Doctor’s first companion. So is Rose going to be in Series 14 or what?

The three 60th anniversary specials are due to air in November 2023 before Ncuti’s first episode is expected to premiere “over the festive period” in 2023. In the review for Eve of the Daleks, I was raging about why RTD couldn’t do Series 14 early in 2023 before the 60th anniversary specials, but I can sort of see why the arrangements are what they are now.

While the Chibnall era all but killed off most of my interest for Doctor Who, RTD’s return reinvigorated it and now, I would like to announce that I intend to continue reviewing new Doctor Who episodes, even if only for the content. At the start of this review series, I had plans to give up this series if the next Doctor was a woman, but now, I’m happy to remain as a casual fan (this would be the same if Jo Martin were actually announced to be the next Doctor). My focus in the Chibnall era was seeing how the SJW agenda would affect how I see the series; for the RTD2 era, my focus will change to seeing how RTD does (in writing and the SJW agenda) in comparison to Chibnall.

This series of reviews has been simultaneously posted to a Google Site which I share with my friends on my personal Facebook account. This was because I was still hesitant at sharing my personal project outside of my Facebook friends back then and I also wanted to share my findings on the Chibnall era without revealing this Tumblr to anyone, not that anyone would care nowadays. For future reviews, they will be exclusive to Tumblr and I won’t be doing the bookending prelude and epilogue posts for the era, just the ones for each series.

I would like to acknowledge everyone who read and liked my reviews over the past four years, even if they were few and far between. I would also like to acknowledge Blogtor Who, as it was the site where I got most of my review header screenshots from (as shown in the collage below). Like I said, I’ll be back for the RTD2 era, but until then, feel free to follow me and check out my content both related and not related to Doctor Who, such as Kisekae Insights, Doctor Who 10 for 10 and my reviews of Koei Tecmo’s Warriors games, which are being lined up for future release.

Once again, thanks for following the Thirteenth Doctor Reviews and I hope to see you around.

[jimmyflemion]

Purrsion Cat / Ocean Tide (Top Hat Mix) - The Frogs 02/28/1988 "Persian Cat" The feeling one gets after stroking a Persian cat is utterly otherworldly. And so it was on June 11, 1986 I wrote the third song on side two of The Frogs First LP "Persian Cat". Being born under the sign of Leo my identification and appreciation of cats is solidified. I've always liked Persian cats' visuals. Cat Stevens was given his name by a girl who said that he had eyes like a cat. The 'How I love to pet her fur" lyric in the song is up wrong or rather downright sexy. The chord progression for the verses is E Major / D b minor. The chorus chord progression is G b minor / G b minor 9 / G b minor / E Major / G b minor / G b minor 9 / G b minor / B Major. The middle eight chord progression is E Major / E Major 7 / E 7 / A Major / C Major / E Major / E Major 7 / E 7 / A Major / C Major / A Major / C Major / B Major. The song ends on a E sus4 / E Major pull off chord.  The first draft was the inspiration of the song written on April 6, 1986. The second draft was written on June 11, 1986. The track "Persian Cat" contains bass guitar played by myself-bass lines written by Dennis, drums written by Dennis and played by the drum machine, keyboards written and played by Dennis, acoustic guitars played by myself and double-tracked vocals by myself. The middle eight section phase shifting was Dennis' idea a la "Itchycoo Park" by The Small Faces. I've always love this song and the beauty of the middle eight is breathtaking. You can lose your faculties picturing yourself running your fingers through a Persian cat's hair at that point in all your glory. "Ocean Tide" The fourth track on The Frogs first LP is "Ocean Tide". This song was written on November 22, 1985. I had met a girl around this time who told me that she was half gypsy and that was the inspiration for this song. The time of the year that this song was born was around winter and there was snow on the ground so that was what the snow reference was all about. I picked up a gypsy book at the library and started to read about the gypsies and their caravans and that is why her family rolled away in the story. Here are the two original drafted lyrics before the final lyrics were written from start to finish. 1st draft The forest breathes Now I know of a girl who smiles But one look in her eyes And you can know the future The future is in The crystal ball that she holds The present the gift of lions she holds The past is history 2nd draft with melody I met a girl who knew the future She just closed her eyes Thought for awhile and told the future Much to my surprise And then she said our love would never die But she threw her body to the ocean tide And that's how it goes when you know the future It's just not much fun And now I know all about the future And all I do is cry The chord progression for the verses begins with G b Major / E b minor / D Major / B Major / bass notes descend B / A / A b / A  / G b. The chord progression for the chorus comes off the descending bass notes that switch this time to B / A / A b / high E and then the chorus goes from A Major / B minor ( A in Bass) / D b minor ( A in Bass ) / B minor ( A in Bass ) bass notes walk up A b / A / B b / B / B minor chord graced notes / bass notes C / low F / C / B. At the intro and at the end of the song the chord progression is A Major / A b minor / G b Major. The song ends on a G b sus4 resolving into an G b Major chord. There were two versions of "Ocean Tide" cut for The Frogs first LP. The first version was the third song recorded for the LP on the first day of the recording session. The track was cut live with myself on electric guitar and vocals, Dennis on drums and Jay Tiller on bass guitar.Like many times before and since at the time I wrote it I felt it was the best song I had written. The track "Ocean Tide" on The Frogs first LP contains keyboards written and played by Dennis, cello played by myself, bass guitar played by myself and bass lines written by Dennis ( the octaves and the changed note on the second syllable of "O-cean" to low F from my original C note ), drums written by Dennis and played by the drum machine, electric guitars played by myself, double tracked vocals by myself and backing vocals by Dennis. Persian Cat Written by Jimmy Flemion 06/11/1986 Tangerine Rabbit Music (ASCAP) Track 11 from The Frogs  1988 "The Frogs" LP Track 20 from The Frogs 2022 LP "The Frogs (The 2022 Addition) Ocean Tide Written by Jimmy Flemion 11/22/1985 Tangerine Rabbit Music (ASCAP) Track 4 from The Frogs 1988 "The Frogs" LP Track 18 from The Frogs 2022 LP "The Frogs (The 2022 Addition) #jimmyflemion #dennisflemion #thefrogs #persiancat #oceantide #bloodintomyjewels https://open.spotify.com/artist/6oKwh... https://music.apple.com/us/artist/340... https://www.youtube.com/user/TheFrogs... https://www.facebook.com/realjimmyfle... https://www.facebook.com/realjimmyfle... https://twitter.com › jimmyflemion https://jimmyflemion.tumblr.com

[writingdotcoffee]

#221: Going From Zero to One

When it comes to writing, going from zero to one means finishing the first draft. Once you've done that, you have something that you can shape. Instead of looking for what to do, you're figuring out how to improve what you have.

I love going from zero to one. It's my favourite part of any project — making something new. But I'm terrified of it at the same time. Creating something out of nothing is like staring into infinity, trying not to lose your mind. It feels like going through a maze. You're deciding where to go next without having any idea whether you'll ever find a way out. The uncertainty can be paralysing.

Imagine the genie in the bottle story. A magic creature comes out of a lamp and grants you three wishes. Say it, and it will be so. What would you pick? A blue BMW, pack of Oreos and end world hunger?

Think about it. What if it, really, really happened. You have three wishes. Anything at all. What's the right thing to do here? Eradicate poverty? End all wars? A few billion dollars for yourself? Or maybe you should make yourself the supreme leader of the world and then do all those things? But what if it turns out that you're not that great at ruling? Perhaps world domination will become a lot less appealing when you achieve it. Who wants to deal with ruling the world anyway when you can be, I don't know, snowboarding?

What do you do when you can do anything? When the stakes are high, it can be impossible to decide.

Lower the Stakes

When you're creating something that you care about — like writing a book — the stakes also seem pretty high. You care about the story. Every choice that you make can either make it better or ruin it entirely. The further into your first draft you are, the harder it is to keep going.

The problem is that it's largely an illusion. Your brain thinks that you have something to lose, but you don't.

The unfinished story is like the three wishes from the genie. Unless you make them, they're completely worthless.

If you procrastinate and never finish the first draft, it will be worthless too. Instead of making mistakes, you don't do anything at all. In both cases, you end up with nothing.

The trick is to convince yourself that what you're creating doesn't matter. Lower the stakes so that you can keep working on it without being paralysed. Sure, you may make mistakes and have to discard everything, but at least you stand a chance of creating something good. More often than not, it will work out.

Going From Zero to One is Valuable

Going from zero to one is almost always the most valuable phase of a project. Thousands of people may work together to build a business, but in the end, everyone looks up to the founder.

Dozens of people collaborate on various aspects of the production, publishing and distribution process of a traditionally published book. But only the author gets to be named on the cover — the person who took the project from zero to one.

Sometimes, you could argue that the editor did more of the heavy lifting than the author. Or perhaps a big part of the success can be ascribed to the cover designer who did such a brilliant job that the book stands out on any shelf. Neither of them gets the credit or fair share of the profits in case the book goes on to sell 10 million copies.

If you want to do great things, get good at going from zero to one.

About the Author

Hi, I’m Radek 👋. I’m a writer, software engineer and the founder of Writing Analytics — an editor and writing tracker designed to help you beat writer’s block and create a sustainable writing routine.

I publish a post like this every week. Want to know when the next one comes out? Sign up for my email list below to get it right in your inbox.

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Past Editions

#220: How to Make Your Writing Compound, November 2021

#219: 7 Benefits of Doing NaNoWriMo Even If You Don’t Win, October 2021

#218: The Best Writing App for NaNoWriMo, October 2021

#217: Don’t Save Your Best Ideas for Later, October 2021

#216: Take Back the Time to Write, October 2021

[a-luran]

how do you feel,,,, abt aob scoteng,,,,

I have many thoughts in fact 👀 about omegaverse scoteng. There are a few rough ideas half-finished in my drafts, but one of my favourites might be this one:

Arthur is a beta. Ordinary, common, unremarkable. He weaves himself in and out of the complicated affairs of others for centuries, catching glimpses of possession in the mating bites that litter the skin of nations, in the muted musk he can taste in the air, feeling only a fraction of the intoxication that others might. Or at least, he imagines they must when he wakes up in a pile of feathers and rumpled bedding, the bed half-caved in beneath the shared weight of his lovers.

(It is no easy thing, keeping pace with an Alpha's rut or an Omega's heat but leave it to him to try and hold his own. Something about the pain, the heat, the strain on his muscles. Feeling like he'll come undone locked on the stretch of a knot, clawing at the sheets and biting back his moans, begging wordlessly for something.

He doesn't let his eyes linger then. Takes a too-hot shower to feel the sting of the scratch marks running down his back and does not let himself want even as he digs his own nails into the crook where his shoulder meets his neck in a poor imitation of what it might feel like to be owned like that.)

And so it goes, decades to a century. He takes one job, then another, phasing from one human life to the next, the only constant the nations around him and as of a few lifetimes ago— a home. Filled to the brim with other people's things that are as much his as they are theirs. Crowded and loud and sturdy, and if Arthur has never known what it is like to be bonded sharing a home is his first real taste of what it feels like to belong to other people by measures. Alasdair, Dylan, and Connor; Sean when he can be arsed to be around (which is... often. Or not so rare as he would have people on the outside of their queer arrangement believe). They share a table and a roof and sleep on linens hung from the same line to dry. Fight over inconsequential things and stand together when it matters.

A home.

Arthur is not sure that he's ever slept quite so well in all his very long life, or that he's eaten so regularly as he does now. He gains weight and his edges soften. Keeps his sharpness in other ways but finds himself settling in comfortably into what is almost a routine, as much as lives like theirs could ever be.

One evening he goes to bed feeling like his head is full of cotton and wakes up sweating.

It's the flu, he reasons and stumbles downstairs dressed for work with the first three buttons of his shirt left undone. Never mind that they don't get sick. Or not often, not like this.

Alasdair is in the kitchen fixing himself something (tea? smells too strongly for tea, Arthur thinks faintly and turns his back on him before his stomach can object.)

"You're looking peaky," Sean calls, loud and caustic from where he's sat at the table and Arthur can't even focus on him long enough to grouse something back. Alasdair says something in his stead (or does he?) and Arthur really should be getting to work only that it's somewhat hard to keep track of what's going on around him. The lights are too bright and the kitchen too hot, never mind that it's late November, and Alasdair is—

"Arthur,"—saying his name like he's been trying to catch his attention and standing suddenly close, hand hovering near Arthur's hip like he's about to reach out to steady him.

"What?" Arthur asks impatiently and takes a half step away to rest both hands on the kitchen table and steady himself. Even just that makes him ache somewhere in his core and he squeezes his eyes shut, lowering his chin almost to his chest when his heart jumps unsteady in his chest. He feels like he has in the tipping point before a high becomes a comedown, pulse racketing and mind clouded, oversensitive, and overly aware of every breath he takes. Only he is sober now and overdressed and what in the blazes is that bloody smell.

"You're hot," Alasdair says, close again and holding onto him this time, one hand on Arthur's hip the other pulling his head back almost gently, pressed against his forehead like he's feeling his temperature. His nose is pressed behind Arthur's ear like he's scenting him, deep and easy and he shifts his hold, moving the hand on Arthur's hip to his front, bracing him up. It makes Arthur's mind blank out for a moment, the feeling of it hot and broad against his stomach all whilst Alasdair presses his lips to his nape. When Sean's chair scrapes against the tile and sounds to him like it's coming from far away and not across the table.

Arthur tells himself that he’s about to tell him off when Alasdair fists the front of his shirt and pulls it down, enough to uncover more of his shoulder and lick up the side of his neck.

“You’re in heat,” he says roughly, voice tight with restrained arousal but clearly shocked.

"Fuck off," Arthur snaps immediately back between unsteady pants. "Fuck off. No, I'm bloody not."

"Arthur," and it's Sean speaking this time, Alasdair's lips are back against his neck.

And oh.

Oh, fuck.

[dallonm-archive]

[image description: a cropped image of a pink sky. on the right hand side is a bunch of darker pink clouds. Just left of the centre is a full moon. In the centre, in a white serif font reads "writing update" /end id]

july writing update

Hi friends! This writing update is me pretending I did Camp Nano and didn't kinda give up a week in! I had a proper goal and everything, but a lot of things got in the way that I'm not gonna talk about here because I already ranted about it in another update I'm drafting rn. Lets just say it's Disability Pride Month and being not neurotypical or able bodied in writing communities and their inherent focus on productivity is Hard.

But I did get some writing done and wanted to do a little Camp wrap up post regardless. And I'm doing it now because I'm cancelling the last week of July for some rest/self care and I do not want to think about writing for that time and if I write a tumblr post about July Nano being over my brain will think it's actually over <3 I will probably do updates like these for most months tho! Depends on how much I write lol! This one is not too long (by my standards) and has some Revelations, Revelations, Life Cycle of Massive Stars, Nocturne for the Holy and a new wip idea 👁️

excerpts under the cut!

general taglist ; ask to be + or - ; i only have one! ; @childhoodlovers @svpphicwrites @abiandwriting @kowlazovdi @avi-why @ryns-ramblings @kitblogsthings @bijouxs @bookphobe @moonhungers @alicewestwater @bookpacking @shaelinwrites @onlyganymede @theelectricfactory @write-like-babs @oceancold @sidhewrites @wolf-oak @oasis-of-you @coffeeandcalligraphy @cecilsstorycorner @howdywrites @keira-is-writing @flip-phones @piyawrites @avakrahn @goose-books @finch-goes-write @ziyin @aphaimaniis @isherwoodj @laughtracksonata

I'm also editing this in to say I only just realised that July is my writeblr birthday month and that is very weird to me! A year and a couple days ago I impulsively turned an old blog into a place to document writing for me and ended up meeting people who now mean the world to me and my writing blossoming in a way I never thought it would. And the funny part is it doesn't feel like it's been a year, ever since I joined it's just felt like life has Always been this way and I cannot fathom that it hasn't. I'm sappy bc it's 4am lol but ultimately the friends I made (you know who you are) and the community I found is what retaught me the value of writing and helped me unlearn toxic ideas and whilst the last year was tough I wish I could tell July 2020 Dallon (who did not realise he was Dallon yet </3) what July 2021 would look like.

revelations, revelations ;

Oh the absolute state of affairs with this book rn. Nothing bad but I don't know when I'm gonna update y'all because sometimes I do not know where to start when talking about this wip lol! Currently on a break with it (but also my thesis work is on late 20th century queer lit/history rn so am ever really free of RR? <3) but had a lot of fun with it at the end of June/start of July. Anyway here's Dorothy finally revealing more of herself to me after a year. Dorothy as a character is like, I truly believe she is capable of killing a man but the story she is in just does not allow that so I am trying to grow her unhinged side a little bit in other ways bc I know she has it in her but I also really cannot deal with the plot repercussions of her actually killing a man! I'm sorry Dotty but this'll have to do!

(cw for groping/a man being creepy as hell, death/funeral mention, drug mention, drowning imagery kinda)

There’s too much to tell Felix. That his sister lives on the fringe of Castro and has attended three funerals since September; that it’s January 11th and she’s already attended one this year. That his sister drives through sunsets and imagines parties: the amber dusk, warm mosaic tiles, platters of Greek salad skewers and shrimp tostadas, and sometimes Jolie joins her and they share a blunt on the hill. That his sister bought an aquamarine body-length dress for six bucks in a thrift store sale bin, so when her and Jolie broke up for the second time, she waltzed into a sunset party, locked arms with a CEO’s son and gave him a fake number and plucked strawberries out of champagne and blended so well nobody noticed when she left. That during the summer of ’83, his sister walked a neighbour’s Golden Retriever on Wednesdays, and on the sixth Wednesday he gave her a wad of tens with one hand and palmed the back of her neck with the other, so she walked his dog to the beach and stole another hundred from his wallet. That his sister bombed an interview for a Nursing school and didn’t get home until night and missed their monthly call, and Jolie heard the phone ring and didn’t take a message, so his sister snuck into the CEO’s son’s villa and floated in the centre of their heated pool like a cloud. A pause, a breath, an Opheliean threat.

life cycle of massive stars ;

Switched to LCOMS this month because I was burnt out with RR and it made such the difference! I really love working on two novels at once because it keeps me consistently creative but also both of these books are so different so its always refreshing to bounce back into one from another. I have a whole update in the drafts rn for this so keeping this part brief but still love this book, still the best thing that has ever happened to me, me and this book will have a glorious summer wedding etc etc. These excerpts are from chapters that summarise the first semester of each character's first year and have to say it. has been Very Fun to get into the mindset of Freshers Melodrama. Here's Junie having a crisis and an unhealthy relationship with her hetero flatmate :( (alcohol cw for both excerpts)

In October you are drinking double espresso and trying to breathe normally in lectures and you are trying to figure out your favourite colour because Fleur asked and you stumbled out an answer (Purple, I think. Violet? Lavender? Indigo?) and it didn’t match hers (I like yellow. I like sunlight). You buy mugs from IKEA to paint you paint cats and fireworks and constellations and moon phases and daisies. You try to scratch paint stains off your desk. You do laundry at 2am. In October you colour code your notes with pastel highlighters. You go to the library at 3am. You paint your nails sunlight and hate it. You finish an essay that’s due in December. You knock on Fleur’s door at 8am so she makes her 9am. You wear off the shoulder tops and you let a girl dab glitter on your collarbones and you are watching Fleur kiss a boy from the neighbouring hall. You bite your sunlight nails. You break the handle off your IKEA constellation mug. You leave your keys in a lecture hall and stand at the reception for forty minutes waiting for them to realise that the keys on the desk have the moon chain you mentioned - or, you are waiting to say it yourself. You are watching the rain trail down your window. In October you get a halo headband tangled in your hair you are sipping a vampire themed cocktail that tastes like acetone you rip your heels off and you go home early and do laundry at 2am and you are waiting for the courage to tell Fleur you don’t like clubbing - or, you are waiting for her to ask where you are. In October you are many things / a good student a dancer a painter an angel a big sister an alarm clock you are nocturnal and a lucid dreamer and confused about your sexuality / and it’s still October but it’s not because it’s November now and you are still Junie but not because you don’t know who Junie is. It’s November, it’s September October November December. It’s 2016 2017 2018 2019. You are fragments and you don’t know if you are a kaleidoscope or shattered glass.

And here's first year Tomas being like I Moved Countries For University And All I Got Was Homesickness And A Crush On My Flatmate And Resurging Autistic Symptoms And This Lousy T Shirt (cw: vomit mention, injection mention, parental death mention)

Kristen is seven months younger and five inches taller than you. He’s the last flatmate you met and the only one you talk to beyond kitchen greetings and passive aggressive texts about dirty dishes. He is too quiet and too loud and not the type of person you befriend. The first night, he lost Ring of Fire and downed the concoction of Echo Falls, Dark Fruits, Jack Daniels and coke, vodka and lemonade alongside a cigarette and said he’d let God figure out the rest. He held your hair back when you threw up amaretto and held onto your knee when you first self-injected testosterone. He taught you Yorkshire dialect and you pretended to understand the Yorkshire dialect. He told you he got diagnosed at four and you told him you didn’t get past the first assessment but sometimes you flick the bathroom light on and it’s fire: the orange on the orange towel is louder, the white on the white tiles are louder, the colours and light and sink and showerhead are prickly and all you can do is blink and breathe until it fizzles out. You reminded him to take his meds and asked if you were weak for wanting to drop out and hop on the first Eurostar to Rotterdam. He reminded you to take off your binder and asked if he was robotic for not grieving his mother. You spent inky nights on the kitchen floor, counting the dead flies in the lights and scooping crumbly coconut ice cream out of a maker you got for half price in TK Maxx. You spent dusk-dusted afternoons at the global street food markets, at the vegan markets. Spent student loans on raspberry lemonade in recycled cups, veggie burgers in beetroot buns, got him hooked on poffertjes and advocaat and could’ve cried when the vendor spoke to you in Dutch. Sometimes you didn’t buy anything. Just liked hovering at stalls ambered with fairy lights, writing down Etsy stores on your notes app; just liked Kristen’s impulse to trek forty minutes into the city for a market he didn’t know existed until five minutes before; just liked how he always invited only you, cancelling your other plans last minute, the feeling of being ambushed; just liked how he stopped to take photos of dogs and the sunset; just liked how he looked haloed under lampposts waiting for Ubers, golden on golden.

This is also nearing creative nonfiction because Sheffield truly is a haven for just. vegan markets and cafes lol! I experimented with veganism there and never struggled to find something and at this point I call myself a fake vegan because it's too easy to be vegan in Sheffield and too difficult to be vegan in my actual hometown. And the global street food markets!!! SO GOOD! I miss pre pandemic days

nocturne for the holy ;

Giving her a little shout out because she does exist actually! I've figured out a really good system for working on two novels at a time, so my plan is maybe to start properly on this after I finish either RR or LCOMS. Idk I got 3 novels to pick from haha oops! I did do some free drafting back in April though and found it recently and I Like It! And I edited it so it counts as Something I Did This Month :) Also have decided that I loathe this working title <3 Okay see you with an update for this novel in like a year, sorry for the absolute zero context for this excerpt hehe

The morning I was due back, I hadn’t yet decided that this would be my last visit. I wandered between rooms like an overstayed guest, like I didn’t know which crockery lived in which cabinet and which bedroom had the best view of the overlapped hills. Dad would wake for his run in an hour, plastered to his twenty-year-old routine. Mum would pretend to be asleep until breakfast. Until then, it was myself and the house, hazed by sleepy sunrise. Downstairs. The peeling paisley wallpaper in the lounge, the lilies in the middle of the kitchen table, the vases of candy floss pink peonies wilting on every windowsill, the desolate double swing-set in the garden. The mist-clogged mornings. I stood outside in my dressing-gown until my fingertips felt numb. Upstairs. The sage coloured bathroom. The bathtub I’d laze in with my clothes on and no water because it was the quietest room in the house. The dusty dance trophies on the top of my wardrobe. Wine-flushed Jeanette in my teenage bedroom. The stale grey mum painted my teenage bedroom after I moved out. Minus their room, I stalked the layout of the house three times before settling back into bed - teenage Nora’s bed. Nora who cared for peonies and pushed her brother on the swing set and flung her ceramic ballerina at the wall and jogged with her father and collected wine bottles and acorns and kisses from girls who were supposed to visit for dance practice. Before I left, I’d have cycled each room another three times. And in every room he was there, hovered in the corner like black mould.

love this update bc it's like i've got my third person, my second person, my first person! collecting all the POVs like chaos emeralds :)

eulogy for our burnings ;

-looks away-

girl help I did it AGAIN!!!! Apparently Camp Nano is just the perfect time for me to get novel ideas. I made this post specifically to talk a bit about this because I have no idea when I'll draft it but it's certainly not soon. This is not me trying to doubt my own skill but I feel like I am not in the place I'd like to be as a writer to tackle this project with the zest it needs, however I am v excited by the prospect of it! Don't know how I feel about the working title bc I'm like "that doesn't sound right but I don't know enough about this wip to dispute it" but the only purpose my working titles serve is to sound pretty lol! But here's the tea:

1991, UK.

2nd person present + past. Very flexible form. I can't decipher how yet but I'm feeling interviews, newspaper articles, receipts, grocery store lists weaved with actual narrative, that kinda vibe.

Best summary is we follow our nameless narrator, a stealth trans man, as he becomes unhealthily obsessed with a man who "hires" him to photograph the buildings he burns

Very,,, isolated? Minimal settings, minimal characters, minimal prose etc. Almost claustrophobic

There's basically only two characters and they are probably the most morally deplorable, indefensible characters I've created which just means most of you are gonna LOVE this /lh I do too I do too

Only comp title I can give is it has the vibes/tone of Boy Parts by Eliza Clark (just with none of the nsfw content lol if you've read the book you know what I'm talking about) (also that book is great for morally deplorable women protagonists but omg look up the content warnings because it caught me off guard! enjoyed it tho gave it 4 stars)

The pinterest board is the best visualisation of the Vibes also follow me on pinterest lol

And that's all I've got today! A bigger Life Cycle of Massive Stars update coming in the next few weeks. Might do a proper intro post for Eulogy For Our Burnings but idk!!! It's a surprise :) Thank you for reading this far!

[nanowrimo]

NaNoWriMo Editing 101

During our “Now What?” Months, we’re focusing on providing resources and information to help writers through the revision, editing, and publishing process. Today, Jes D.A., senior editor at Scribendi, a NaNoWriMo sponsor, is here to share some basic editing tips:

Before becoming a senior editor at Scribendi, an online editing and proofreading company headquartered in my hometown, and after completing my first ever NaNoWriMo, I faced a mess of a draft. As I reviewed my work, I was horrified. It was easy enough to give up on the story—and almost NaNoWriMo itself—forever.

This is not a unique situation. Many writers end up frustrated with their drafts (or themselves) after NaNoWriMo, forgetting, after prioritizing writing during November, that the editing stage is just as important as the drafting stage. As noted by Squibler, "Thorough and extensive editing is essential to any novel that makes it to the end of the publishing process."

When I wanted to quit, I had forgotten that NaNoWriMo was only the first step of my journey—that oh-so-important, and arguably most difficult, first step that helps so many writers embark on the stages of writing. But it is far from the only step in the writing journey.

Learned writers know that editing is integral to the writing process. They only allow editing to become a secondary goal to win NaNoWriMo because they know that polishing their writing is a requirement for later. In accepting that quality should always be improved, your imperfect writing can never cause fear. Instead, it feels natural.

As it should. As a professional editor and writer for over five years, I have never seen a manuscript that couldn't be massively improved upon. This is not a reflection of the quality of writing but rather shows just how powerful editing is. And how necessary it is.

Still, NaNoWriMo editing can be a daunting journey, what with so many words to improve, and especially after the considerable effort it took to write them in the first place. For that reason (and more to come), it is an excellent idea to . . . 

Wait to Edit

It's a great idea to wait between the writing and editing stages. A long break is essential to ensuring you can read your manuscript anew, which is required for effective editing. 

Some fear forgetting their work or its outline, for example, but revising as the writer will be much less helpful for your book than revising from the perspective of an outside editor. Fresh eyes are needed for a real evaluation of the quality of your work and the aspects of it that require improvement.

Stephen King, in On Writing, argues that you should let your manuscript sit for at least six weeks before beginning to edit it. For NaNoWriMo participants, this means you should wait until at least mid-January to begin revising your draft. I might argue that the end of February would provide an even fresher perspective. This will give you time for a true break in December and time to plan how you will tackle the editing phase of your NaNoWriMo journey. That means you will also need to . . .

Set Editing Guidelines

Since you are facing such a large draft to edit, it is a good idea to lay out a plan for your NaNoWriMo editing as you likely did for your NaNoWriMo writing. Even if you are a pantser, you had a daily word count goal of 1,667 words per day and the general outline used for all stories (beginning, middle, and end). Plans help to simplify any process, and an editing plan will certainly make the task less daunting. 

At one time, NaNoEdMo was created to help writers through this editing process; the event traditionally occurred in March and specified 50 hours of editing time over the month. Choosing a similar goal or a word count-based goal, as you likely did with NaNoWriMo, is an excellent idea. And, as you may know as a NaNoWriMo participant, staying on track can mean the difference between a workable piece and a draft left finished and forgotten forever.

Don't let your manuscript collect dust for too long. Once you have had a proper break and set a schedule, you should get editing. If you're not sure where to start, it's time to . . . 

Get Editing Help

Editing can feel like a huge undertaking, especially for larger works. Not knowing where to start is not uncommon, as is true when learning any professional skill. But right here at your NaNoWriMo home, you can find lots of help if you're not sure what to do after finishing your first draft. NaNoWriMo HQ provides "Now What?" resources, forums, and webcasts with advice on both editing and publishing. In addition, NaNoWriMo participants can swap novels for feedback or editing, join writing groups, and seek publishing and self-publishing advice in various NaNoWriMo forums.

There are also many online guidelines for novel editing. Scribendi's author blog, for example, outlines advice from experienced fiction editors and writers at Scribendi. For NaNoWriMo editing participants, "NaNoWriMo: Now What?" provides advice on how to actually begin editing your writing, while "Navigating the Publishing Process: A Guide for New Authors" is a helpful resource for when you're finished editing.

Another way many novelists seek help is by having a professional editor revise their first draft on their behalf. This is a good option for novelists who would like to obtain professional feedback before continuing with the writing process. It is also helpful for writers who simply do not enjoy editing and those who want to begin working on their next story while their current story is being edited. 

If you're unsure if external editing would be beneficial for you, a few companies offer a free sample edit. This year, as a NaNoWriMo sponsor, Scribendi offered NaNoWriMo participants a free sample of 2,000 words of editing for their NaNoWriMo novel. If you participated this past year and would like to try editing for yourself, check out Scribendi’s NaNoWriMo free sample. 

Onward!

A rough draft is called rough for a reason. It is more than natural for your winning NaNoWriMo manuscript to be a not-so-winning manuscript if you submit it before it is ready. 

All novels require editing, and, though it might not always feel like it when the time for editing comes, a bad first draft is a wonderful starting place for writers. Giving yourself a true break and some breathing room away from your novel, setting guidelines for when it comes time to edit, and getting editing help can alleviate this common stress for writers and help them achieve a successful edit. 

After all, NaNoWriMo editing can mean the difference between getting published and not, and your story deserves to be shared.

Jes D.A. is a Senior Editor and the Content Marketing Coordinator at Scribendi. She graduated from Western University with an Honors Specialization in Creative Writing and English Language and Literature. Her writing advice has been published on several writing blogs, including Writer’s Digest, and her creative and academic writing has been published in magazines. Jes is also infatuated with the visual arts, and her artwork has been featured in several zines.