"Colin should have grovelled more!" "Penelope folded too easily"
I think statements like this typically come from people who like Penelope. . .but don't really understand her. And don't really understand just why she cares for Colin, and just why him groveling would not in any way bring her peace.
Penelope and Colin are kindred spirits in their loneliness, in season 3 more than any others. Penelope had lost her friendship with Eloise, and Colin didn't really have a close friend circle to begin with. Except with Pen. Pen was the person he could put the mask down for, could open up to, (in particular with their 'dreams' discussion) and that's why he couldn't even entertain the idea of giving up talking to her in Season 2. She is a vital part of his life, and holds so much significance and importance to him.
I imagine that's what made their silence over his travels especially painful for him. They spent such a long time talking after Season 1, and he even informs her that her letters were so encouraging, that it helped him heal something inside of himself. That if she could see him in a gentle way. . .so could he. (And he repays this, because he is honest to god out here acting and looking at her like she hung the moon in the sky). But without her presence in his life, he spiraled. Didn't feel confident in being who he is, and thus put on his persona more firmly. We know this because he wrote in his journal that "I want to be less needy, less insecure, while still maintaining the core of my vulnerability that makes me who I am". That he misses his family, that he misses home.
And we know, from the books, that Home? Home is Penelope. Penelope is his North Star, is his guiding force, and who I argue he feels he needs. In his very first scene, he looks toward her house, tries to find her in the window. When he does not, he returns to his family. In the outdoor gathering, he looks for her and finds her, eager to talk. He states aloud that he misses her, and I imagine he wrote it, too. Not hearing back from her over the course of his travels was surely something that hurt him, but he doesn't hold any ill will toward her for it, only wants to reconnect again. In fact, the one and only time he brings up how he misses her and that she didn't respond, she makes very clear the reason why: she heard what he said and it hurt her. And he's ashamed of it.
Colin hears her call him cruel, and instead of ruffling his feathers about it, instead of getting upset, instead of having a chip on his shoulder as I feel so many men would about it. . .he understands why she does so.
Penelope is a woman who has been largely treated poorly in her society. She feels unheard, she feels undesired, and in her circumstances, and I can't help but ask myself. . .has anyone ever truly apologized to Penelope for hurting her, before? Her mother? Her sisters? Eloise, likely, but. . .anyone else? And the way Colin did? Because of all the characters in the show, Colin? Colin knows how to apologize. He has a lot of practice in it. And very importantly: Colin, a man of privilege in his society, apologizes. . .predominately to women. To Marina, to his mother, and multiple times to Penelope.
Ultimately, Penelope wants to be heard, Penelope wants to be understood, Penelope wants to feel desired.
And Colin checks every single one of those boxes. He informs he is not who he was before, and then he proves it to her. He hears that he hurt her, and he comments on it directly. An entire night apart, and he comes back to her 'Because I embarrass you' with 'I am most certainly not ashamed of you', replies to her 'I am a laughingstock' with 'you are clever, and warm, and I am proud to call you my good friend'. He hears her proclaim her own insecurities, and empathizes so deeply with her. He listens. He understands. He makes clear that he cares for her, and that she *is* desired. 'You lift my spirits' 'I seek you out at every social assembly'. That she helps him see the world in ways he loves, that he sees HER and how much she has cared for HIM, that she makes him feel appreciated, that he appreciates her, in turn.
And then? Then? He shows her. He tells her, and he shows her. His actions all throughout Season 3 reinforce this apology. He continues looking for her in every corner of every ballroom, he continues complimenting her, he laughs at her jokes and respects her boundaries, he is ever so gentle with her, he listens to her with an attentiveness that no one else has ever given her. To Lady Whistledown? Sure. But to Penelope? Who else in the entirety of that ton has listened to Penelope the way Colin has?
Absolutely no one.
Penelope Featherington ghosts Colin Bridgerton for months with no explanation, and Colin comes back wanting to reach out to her, and she finally tells him why.
And he apologizes. Because he listens. Really, truly listens. And really truly cares.
I need you to understand how rare that is, even nowadays, but especially back then. That Colin is the kind of man who can put his hurt to the side and realize he made a mistake, that he said something callous, and he adores her, and he can't lose her, and he has to see her and make it right.
Because that's why Penelope fell for Colin. Not because he's beautiful, not for his charm, not for his family. But for his heart. Because he shows her kindness in a world that so often disregards her. Because he seeks her out and tries to understand her, truly hears what she has to say and compliments her, says he's sorry and looks at things from her perspective.
Because he saw her when she was invisible.
Penelope Featherington, who grew up in a house that made cruel jabs at her, has Colin Bridgerton come to her and say he regrets what he said, and that he was wrong, and that he understands why she's mad at him. Penelope Featherington who has so rarely had much of anyone tell her that they're sorry for what they said about her, sits before Colin Bridgerton as he professes how much she means to him. That he cannot even spend a full day away from her knowing they're on bad terms with each other without making it right. That he sees how she is hurting and he has to in any way he can amend it. She is lonely, with no one really in her corner at the start of season 3, and she feels like she lost it all, and Colin comes to her and says 'no, I'm here and I appreciate you and you are special to me, please let me in and let me prove it'. Is it any wonder why after she shakes his hand, she stands in the sun, and she feels the warmth of it, she can smile? That she can breathe, again? That she can be truly content for the first time in the season?
Because Penelope Featherington does not want Colin to beg. She knows him. She knows the tender, full heart he hides behind the new cavalier persona. She knows the soft underbelly of Colin Bridgerton.
He never had to grovel. All he had to do was love her. Assuredly. Fervently. Loudly. Unapologetically.
And he does.
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If I Should Stay
More housekeeping! I was wrong about the date last time. My hiatus isn’t starting on the 15th; it’s starting on the 13th, possibly a bit earlier. But I’ll see y’all a little less than a month after that!
Part 1 | . . . | Part 38 | Part 39 | Part 40
“Vecna’s got my sister,” Steve whispers into the line, and Robin knows immediately that this time, this next fight with Vecna, is going to be very different.
She’s not going to let two of his atoms touch after what he’s done.
“Okay,” she answers, mind going a million miles an hour. “We know how to fix this, Steve, but you need to focus. Can you focus?”
He takes a deep breath. “Yeah,” he murmurs. “Yeah, I can focus.”
“Okay. We need her favorite song.”
“I don’t know her favorite song.”
“Then you need to find someone who does.”
The line is silent for a minute, then Steve gasps. “Cassidy! She’d know.”
“Okay, that’s perfect. Call Cassidy, ask her what Allison’s favorite song is. I’m going to pick up El and we’ll be there as soon as we can, okay?”
“Okay,” Steve says. “Hurry?”
“As fast as I can,” she promises. “Call Cassidy.”
They hang up, and Robin eyes Wayne, who’s already waiting by the door with his truck keys. “I’m gathering this is an emergency.”
“If it wouldn’t be entirely weird, I would kiss you,” Robin informs him, because she barely has a filter at the best of times, and this is definitely not the best of times.
Thankfully, Wayne just laughs. “I’ll take that as a compliment,” he says. “Toss your bike in the back and get in. I’ll need directions.”
Robin worries her lip. “Y’know the Wheelers’ place?”
“Karen?”
“Yeah. There first, please.”
Wayne offers her a teasing salute as he puts the car into drive, and Robin suddenly thinks this all might just work out.
The drive to the Wheelers’ is uneventful, and she hops out of the truck and pounds on the door. Karen opens it, and Robin grits her teeth. “Hi, Mrs. Wheeler,” she says politely. “Is Nancy home?”
“Oh, yes, of course, come in,” she says, ushering her inside before calling for Nancy.
Robin watches as Nancy makes it halfway downstairs before she sees who’s here. She watches as she goes through all the possibilities. “Hey, Robin, you’re here for the project, right?”
“Yup,” Robin nods. “For, uh. School.”
Nancy blinks. “Right,” she says, casting a glance at her mom, who doesn’t notice. “C’mon up.”
Robin hesitates. “Think we could use the basement?”
Nancy’s eyes flash. “Sure,” she says, and they’re halfway down before she speaks again. “What’s going on?”
“Vecna has Allison. We need El.”
Nancy bites back a curse.
They finally make it down, and El is standing in the middle of the room, waiting for them. “It is time.”
“It is,” Robin nods. “Are you ready?”
Eleven shrugs. “Is anyone?”
Robin gives half a laugh. “I guess not.” She turns to Nancy. “Is there an exit that doesn’t go through the house?”
Nancy nods and leads them out. “I’ll get everyone else,” she says. “Meet you back there as soon as we can. Be safe.”
“You too,” Robin says, grabbing El’s hand and running for Wayne’s truck.
“Where to?” Wayne asks.
“The Harrington place. Will you come inside?”
“All due respect, Robin, but my boy’s in there. There ain’t no way in hell I’m leavin’ him alone.” There’s a slight pause before he says, rather uncomfortably, “Not because I don’t trust you, of course-”
“No, of course not,” Robin waves him off.
“And, uh.” He winks at El. “You’ll have to pardon my French, little lady.”
She giggles at him. “But you weren’t speaking any French!”
Wayne chuckles. “No I wasn’t, and a smart one you are for knowin’ that. No, pardon my French just means excuse my potty mouth.”
El turns to Robin, who says, deadpan, “He means ‘cause he said hell.”
“Oh,” El says, as Wayne splutters but ultimately stays quiet.
Soon enough they’re at the Harrington place, and Wayne barely parks the truck before they’re all running in.
Robin stops him just before they get inside. “Did Eddie explain any of this to you?”
Wayne blinks at her. “No.”
“Shit,” she whispers. “Okay, look, long story short, which I’m kinda really terrible at, like worst person ever, like I can’t tell a short story to save my life-”
“Robin.”
“Right, short story, right. Um, we’ll explain more later, but basically me and Steve are time traveling here from four years in the future because there’s a wizard guy- well he’s not a wizard, actually, it’s Henry Creel, but anyways things happen and he’s got powers and he’s like a wizard and he’s trying to get control of peoples’ heads and kill them. And he’s trying it with Steve’s sister, Allison, right now. So… that’s what we’re about to walk into.”
Wayne sighs. “Is there anythin’ for me to shoot at?”
Robin blinks. “Well, no. Not right now, at least. But later there could be. If you want to be involved.”
“I ain’t lettin’ y’all do this while I sit by and do nothin’. That ain’t how I was raised.”
Robin stares at him for a beat, nods, and together they run inside.
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So after the whirlwind of the last two days, with things said, shit thrown around and what not, Shubman didn't just wish Ishan, he WAS in fact with him at his birthday celebration.
This post was posted by Gurkeerat Mann (one of Shubman's teammates from his KKR days) on 18th July in the morning. They were in London at that time with Yuvraj and Nehra.
At this point in time, everyone expected that now that Shubman OBVIOUSLY wasn't coming for Ishan's birthday, he should at least post something for him (like he posted that infamous compilation of Ishan's videos last year). When he didn't though, that's when all hell broke lose.
On 19th, Swami posted this picture. A normal celebration, most of his Patna gang was there to celebrate it with him. Except, Ishan was in Mumbai (as opposed to Bangalore, where he's been training for the past few weeks now). He'd gone there right after visiting Sai Baba in Shirdi. How do we know this?
This post by Anshumat, on the same day. This is Agni Chopra's place, who's a very close friend of Shubman (and Ishan too, evidently).
And then by mid-day of 19th, suddenly Shubman's back in India and spotted at the Mumbai airport. It's interesting because Gurkeerat and gang are still in London (the second picture is from today morning). So, obvious enough, Shubman came back alone. Why, you ask?
Because there was a BIG birthday party at Bastian and literally everyone and their mother was there. Swami, Ahmed, Yashasvi, Anshumat, Agni and many many of Ishan's friends had gathered there for Ishan's 26th.
Then of course, an anonymous source drops THIS in the middle of the night yesterday and twitter wakes up screaming and crying. A lot of people think it's an old post except the slit in Ishan's eyebrow, the singular gold necklace and the threads on his wrist suggest otherwise. Also;
So, to conclude, while twitter was busy saying all sorts of things about Shubman, this man literally took a 10 hour flight to come celebrate Ishan's birthday with him. Now if that ain't commitment, idk what is.
Bonus: Man back to wearing oversized shirts the moment Gill's back in town 😭
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