#this is a lot sorry

[urgrossdaughter]

I need to stop being so oversensitive and fucking stupid and expecting people to give a shit about how i feel because it can never be about me even when im the one who's hurt. I need to learn to keep my mouth shut and let people walk all over me because theyre not really walking all kver me im just fucking sensitive and dumb and silly for thinking that someone will want to be with me when i dont let them do and say anything theu want to say. Maybe they were right and this really is why i have no friends, maybe im just oversensitive and fucking stupid

[gh0st-0f-s0rr0wzz]

vent post (it's a long one)

im just so worried about the future. it feels like there's so much i have to do, but because there's so much to do, i feel so overwhelmed by it all and i can't even start doing anything, which in turn makes me more overwhelmed. all the arbitrary things that i should be doing, im not even getting anywhere with, i feel like i can't seem to do anything at all.

- i need to get a job > i haven't gotten a call back from anybody yet

- i need to work on my extra classes > i need to study for the ACT bc the date is closer

- i need to study for ACTs > but i have to stay on track with my irl classwork

- i need to apply for scholarships > i'm not even going until next year and, again, i need to get my classes done before college is even on the horizon.

- i need to think about where i'm going to live, save up for that. i need to get the equipment for art school/graphic design, save up for that > get a fucking job.

- actually graduating. etc.

but i don't have the energy to tackle anything because it all feels so huge and it's snowball-ed. and i need to get the energy, so that just feels like it's adding on to the pressure itself.

after typing it out, the words sound like an understatement, because in my brain it feels enormous, like a stresser the size of a neutron star and in writing it seems so small compared to that. i feel like i'm overreacting to it but it genuinely feels so much more intense than it should be.

i'm so tired, i feel like i'm running on stretch out energy just to make it through every day, how can i even begin to do all of this? i feel like i can barely do anything. i want help, reassurance, comfort, anything to get myself through this and get everything done, but i don't have that, i don't know how to get that, and i don't think there is a way to get it either to be completely honest.

i just want to get it off my chest, i've been worried about it for a while but it's still been building up in my head. i don't know if there's a way to simply push myself through it on my own, i don't know if i can. all i really know is that i need something to gain that motivation.

[marellaredeks]

Okay, Keepers Star Trek AU

Sophie is a half Vulcan half human baby found as the sole survivor on a Maquis ship. Sophie is raised by the human Foster family, professors at Star Fleet academy. When at twelve Sophie is in a terrible shuttle accident that claims the life of her parents and places her younger sister in a coma , Sophie is taken in by former Star Fleet Xenobiologis Grady Ruewen and former Star Fleet Commander Edaline Ruewen. Before Sophie has a chance to adjust to her new life Grady and Edaline are called back by Starfleet to serve aboard the USS Everglen, captained by their friend, and Edaline's former subordinate, Alden Vacker, SPACE THE FINAL FRONTIER

[athenaschild5]

hi!! i hope your day is going great/was amazing! if you have the time:

spiderman across the spiderverse review!!! (if you havent seen it tell me your predictions)

omg hiiii! this ask made it so much better so thank you for that

ok so spiderman review:

PSA: yes im a spiderman fan but i havent read all of the comics so they mustve been thing i might have missed

ok so starting off by the most obvious thing the animation its wonderful and amazing the colors are magnificent and the different type of animation depending on the characters is beautiful iespcially liked the animation regarding gwens character the colors were beautiful and what i liked the most was that depending on the emotions that gwen was feeling was the range of colors in the scene it was a nice touch that i likes

now the themes of the movie from the get go we get that this movie is going to be about family, loyalty and trust litteraly i the first scene is miles talking with his parents at his school and the new dynamic he has with his parents we see throughout the movie that he is getting in a tricky spot with his parents because hes starting to break his promises and keep a lot of secrets and then the whole debacle with the spider society and gwen and peter b and miguel (btw hobie brown i love you pavitr i love you you guys are my boys) and miles feels like his loyalty has been broken by gwen and peter and i mean totally fair and i hope they get a great redemption arc but i also get why they did (in this case didnt do) and the script is wonderful i mean being able to make a superhero movie has its serious and drama moments while being comedic and keeping it lighthearted bcs its spiderman its incredible

overall o think its my favorite spiderman movie it had a great ending tha characters were wonderful and amazing there arent enough words in the english language to say how amazing this movie was i give this movie 2099/10 lol

but yeah idk if this is what you wanted thank you so much for asking if you wanted more of a 'my favorites scene' type of review well all you have to do is ask and ill do it

[missanthropicprinciple]

I just feel like a total failure tonight. A loser. I’m feeling bad about my age, not having a job, I have no partner, no kids, not even a pet, two friends have not responded to my last communications and one has left me on read for over a week even though both of my messages were about specific dates for getting together, and I’m three months away from getting my license because this driving instructor wanted to use a particular testing site and didn’t mention ahead of time that I might be booked up for months. So because I can’t drive myself anywhere I can’t get 1) an eye exam that’s overdue, 2) a general check up, 3) a dental check up that I haven’t had since 2013 (yes, I know this is ridiculous) and 4) drive myself to a (hypothetical) job. I can ask my mother for help but 1) this is humiliating, 2) she doesn’t want to even utter the word dentist out loud because of her trauma and/or she wants to micromanage where I go for treatment, 3) doesn’t even know I had an exam and a pap smear in 2018. These are things I want and need and in my eyes, about my own self, I feel beyond worthless. 

[councilofelrond]

Dark headcanon for Melkor

-@outofangband

OH BOY (TW: gore, animal abuse, experimentation)

Melkor is a biologist, something which does not sound that threatening until you think about it for more than a millisecond. He discovers heredity and exploits it to the point where he creates entirely new species. And I mean exploits. The first forays into Orcs were done through unwilling volunteers being dissected, often while still alive. Dragons? Iguanas and various other lizards met their ends via Melkor’s scalpel. Even the Umaiar (save his Captains and beloved Lieutenant) weren’t safe from the knife. There’s surviving accounts from Umaiar whose bodies were torn apart in Melkor’s quest for knowledge and power. Whose organs were replaced with metal ones by the ever calm (read: sociopathic) Lieutenant, at Melkor’s command.

In conclusion: Melkor studies anatomy. Unfortunately, he studies the anatomy of people who would very much like their anatomy to remain in its proper places.

[daincrediblegg]

OK THIS IS NOT A FUCKING DRILL EVERYONE FUCKING REPEAT AFTER ME. THIS IS WHAT YOU WILL DO WHEN YOU WATCH MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL THIS YEAR:

You will navigate to the page on disney plus (and it has to be here. Unless someone has actually uploaded the REAL movie anywhere else you cannot get it elsewhere)

BUT YOU WILL NOT HIT PLAY. You won’t do it. Because it’s NOT THE REAL VERSION OF THE FILM AND DISNEY IS FUCKING LYING TO YOU AS IT ALWAYS DOES

You will scroll down HERE. To EXTRAS instead. You MUST GO HERE. This is non -negotiable

THEN YOU WILL SCROLL DOWN TO THE BOTTOM OF THE EXTRAS AND YOU WILL THEN HIT PLAY ON THIS BAD BOY: THE FULL LENGTH VERSION

And you will watch it. And you will thank me for having been so blind and led astray by that stupid fucking mouse. You’re welcome.

[alleesaur]

my robo miku design! (m1-ku if you would)

[weaselle]

it was too much i had to make my own post

line cook here. ACCURATE

if you don't get the hate, here's what you don't understand.

it takes up to 2 hours to close down the kitchen.

The last 60-90 minutes before closing time you do almost no cooking because the restaurant doesn't have many people in it and you've already cooked most of their diners.

So if someone walks in during, like, the last hour, the cook is in the middle of an industrial deep clean of the kitchen.

(these numbers can vary quite a bit from place to place but i have worked several restaurants with these actual times and the concept remains the same)

Say the place closes at 10. If you wait til the restaurant is already closed to start all your cleaning duties, you'll be there until at least midnight.

More than that your boss knows that on an average night you can start your clean up as soon as the last rush ends and get out of there around 10:45, even 10:15 on a slow night if you get lucky. That means there are plenty of restaurants where if you do take until midnight the manager is going to come up to you at some point that week and ask you what went wrong that night, and you'd better have an answer.

So this example restaurant closes at 10 pm. The dinner rush ends around 8:30, and shortly after that the cook is going to start getting every single dish possible over to the dishwasher because the dishwasher always gets hit hard and late, and the machine runs for 2 full minutes and only holds so many dishes, so the way that works out is if you wait an extra 30 minutes to give the dishwasher all your stuff it can mean adding like 60 minutes to the end of his shift. And you're gonna KEEP finding shit to send to the dishpit right up until you leave probably.

all these little square and rectangle containers in this cold table have to be pulled out and changed over into new containers, replaced by new full ones, or in some cases filled from larger containers in the back, which can result in even more empty containers to send to the dishwasher.

while it's all pulled apart to do this, you have to clean up all the spilled food and sauce and juices and stuff from the joints and ledges and shelves and drip trays

Once you get your line changed over in this way, and fully stocked, anytime someone orders something that makes use of a bunch of that stuff, you have to restock and re-clean it some. It might already be covered in plastic. Some of it might already be stuck in the back to make room to take apart your cutting board counter to clean. To cook a dish isn't TOO much of a problem at this point, but you're really hoping for zero orders because you still have so much other cleaning to do.

Meanwhile the salad bar and appetizer section and server station and everybody are all doing the same thing. Even the bartenders are stocking olives and lemons and sending back whisks and stir spoons and shakers and empty 4quart storage containers that used to hold the back-up lemons and olives and things. Every section is dumping their must-be-cleaneds to the dishpit as fast as possible because early and fast is the only thing they can do to to help that dishpit not absolutely drown into overtime.

The poor dishwasher is always the last to clock out, soaking wet and exhausted.

Around this time you probably scrub the flat top, which has turned black from cooked on grease and is still about 500 degrees. Line cooks are divided in opinion on water-based or oil based cleaning methods for this, but they all involve scrubbing with (usually) a brick of pumice stone using every ounce of your strength while you try not to burn yourself

you scrub it from fully blackened to gleaming silver and now if somebody orders something that needs the flat top to cook, you can either fuck up your cleaning job or fake it in a couple frying pans and pass that tiny fuck you down to your dishwasher (who usually understands, especially if you help them take the garbage out or clean your own floor drain later)

If there's deep fried stuff on the menu then the fryers have to be cleaned out, which includes straining the oil out into enormous and super-heavy pots full of oil so hot that if you spill on yourself then it's probably a hospital visit and if you slip and fall face first into it it'll be the last thing you ever do.

Then you gotta scrub out the fryer. Like you gotta take the (hot) screen out and reach your arm down into the weird rounded pipes and curved areas (so hot, burn you if you brush against them hot) and scrub off whatever is down there

Depending on your kitchen you might have to do up to four of these. Then you'll have to pour the (dangerously hot) oil back in

oh, and if you didn't dry the pipes and get ALL the water out of the trap and tank?

water reacts with hot oil in a sort of mentos and coke way that can send a tidal wave of oil past the open flame of the pilot light ...HUGE dangerous mess and/or burn down the kitchen if the oil lights up.

Unless! If the oil has been used too hard and needs to be changed, it's time to carry those open topped super heavy pots full of will-kill-you-hot oil and dump them in the barrel outside by the dumpsters so you can put room temp fresh oil in the fryers. whew!

The clean up is not just some light wiping down that can be easily interrupted, is what i'm saying.

You might have to do some kind of walk-in duty (moving around 50lb cases of lettuce and 50lb bags of onions to get to the stacks of five gallon buckets full of salad dressings and sauces to move so you can reach the giant metal pots and bus tubs full of prep and get it all organized and make sure it's all labeled and i have to stop now i'm having flashbacks)

THE POINT IS

by 15 or however many minutes to close, the line cook is doing an intense deep clean and probably has the whole stove taken apart to detail.

For some industrial stoves this means lifting off large cast iron plates that weigh like 20 lbs each and are still quite hot. Whatever metal burners are on there, you gotta take off and clean, you can see here the lines that indicate the large thick cast iron rectangles that sit on top of the burners to allow heavy pots to rest on. Those five (each has one front burner hole and one back burner hole, see?) have to be lifted off and cleaned with soap and a wire brush usually, and then the underneath area also has to be cleaned because a lot of shit falls through the burner holes on a busy night.

if you didn't do it when you did the flat top you have to do the grease trap (which can be like a full five minutes and is always disgusting).. You gotta clean out all the little gas jets in each burner with a wire or something so the burners all flame evenly, and sometimes you have to remove some of the natural gas piping that connects the burners to access where you have to clean.

you gotta clean out the bottom of the oven and the wire racks, and, oh gods, you gotta take down the filter vents from the hood fans above the stove.

See all the lined parts along the top of the wall?

those are hood vents, and as they pull air up they also pull a lot of grease and they have to be taken down and cleaned, then you gotta climb up there and scrub where they go before you put them back...

And then there's the mopping and floor drains and...

Anyway, that's what the line cook is doing when you walk in fifteen minutes before closing and order something that needs to be cooked on that stove. They are doing an entire industrial cleaning of a professional kitchen.

In some restaurants maybe one or two of these jobs will be every other night or even only twice a week, but in many, possibly most kitchens, ALL of these things happen EVERY night. You don't want to leave any food mess that might attract insects or rodents for one thing, so a really good kitchen is as close to brand new as you can get it every night.

IF YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO ORDER SOMETHING ANYWAY, HERE IS WHAT TO DO

open with an apology and ask the server to go ask what the cook would prefer you to order.

Any good server will already know what the cook is hoping for and what will make their line cook go into the walk in and scream. If it's significantly less than an hour to close and they say some variant of "oh anything is fine" they are either telling the lie their boss wants them to say, or they actually do not know what their line cook wants, and you can either use human connection and a conspiratorial just-between-us tone to get them to drop the customer-is-always-right act, or get them to actually go ask the cook.

It might be as specific as "the lasagna is easiest on the kitchen" or it might be a simple guideline like "nothing that requires the flat top" or "any of the sautés are easy" but a good line cook will probably have a system for if they have to make a couple of the most popular items after they start their close, so the answer is likely to include something most people like and you should be good to order that.

but for the love of all that's holy, please only do so at great need. Leave that last 30-60 minutes to the truly desperate and the crew's duties.

[littlemsterious]

i was thinking about that post comparing Jessica Rabbit as an asexual to Barbie and an asexual and then i thought of the Neil Gaiman post (was it a post?) about Crowley and Aziraphale being asexual sexless and then this happened.

anyways. thoughts?

sorry it took so long I meant to do this a week ago but my brain is full of rocks.

[Image ID a three sided venn diagram. the big circles show Margot Robbie's Barbie sitting in front of a mirror, Jessica and Roger Rabbit from the poster of Who Framed Roger Rabbit, and Aziraphale and Crowley from Good Omens standing back to back. Between Barbie and Jessica Rabbit it says "sexualised by society". Between Jessica Rabbit and Aziraphale and Crowley it says "Knows what sex is". Between Aziraphale and Crowley and Barbie it says "no reproductive system(?)". the center is the asexual flag. End ID]

Also i haven't seen the Barbie movie as of this edit so at least please tag your spoilers.

[homoqueerjewhobbit]

Another reason I want more Addams Family with the 90s cast is I think it would be so nice to see Morticia uncorseted and aging gracefully. I don't think she'd go full Grandmama but do you really think an Addams is afraid of wrinkles and cellulite?

Look me in the eye and tell me Anjelica Huston doesn't still have it.

[chloesimaginationthings]

FNAF Monty and TADC Gummigoo are so alike!

[civetcider]

[hel7l7]

I don't know how to talk about this

[cozylittleartblog]

@staff if you [change] the [design] of the fucking [dashboard] i will kill you

edit. i want it on the actual post that i am not actually making a de-th threat against the staff. that's shitty. the caption quotes the fucking costco hot dog meme, which i originally said in the tags. if any staff member sees this please do Not take it personally

[herd-reject-arts]

So I'm leaving work and something darts in front of me, maybe 10ft away, too fast for me to see what it is. Peek around the tree blocking my path and I see this

Just like... a whole ass hawk. Dude's gotta be about 1.5ft tall. Massive fucking bird. And it's just staring me straight in my soul like this, even as I try to move ahead. It didn't budge. And there's only this path back to my car unless I want to walk on a busy highway. So I have the option of Death By Raptor or Death By Truck.

So I walk in the poison ivy filled patch off the sidewalk. Guy still isn't moving. Still staring me directly in the eyes. And I do this thing when animals are behaving strangely where I'll talk to them, so I'm just like, "Hey, man. I don't know you. You don't know me. This feels really threatening. I'm just trying to get to my car, dude. Can I get some space please? You're a big fucking bird. I see those claws. You could kill me right now, but I'd appreciate if you didn't, ok?"

It didn't move until I was about 2ft away. Again: I'm as far from it as I can be without walking into the street. It clearly wasn't going to budge. I walk past, thing flies up (silent, btw. Scary) and lands on a brick wall a little further ahead

Anyway. Weird guy. Nearly shit my pants when I noticed a bird big enough to carry off a fully grown cat was just... there, staring me in the face, unwilling to move away from me, a human, something it should see as a threat. I watched behind me the whole rest of the way to my car, just in case this bird decided to help me shed this mortal coil. 10/10 experience. Super cool guy.