#this is a scene we've been leading up to since the beginning :-) since i decided to make joat a big ol vessel for all my utdr feelings

[party-time]

I'm having so much thoughts about Chainsaw Man part 2 rn- dunno what else to do with them other than dump them here after the latest chapter just dropped.

Also this is all just MY thoughts and how i see it, is okay if you don't think i'm right or if you want to add your own take, it keeps things interesting tbf.

Spoilers for Chainsaw Man part 2 under the read more!

Yoru, the war devil.

I just gotta say after this chapter i loved Yoru's character even more, even though i am still pretty resentful for what she did to Denji on that alleyway — which i am not going to talk about here btw—, i gotta say that Yoru being the Gun devil's mother is something that really got me thinking.

We all know that in part 1 the main focus was the Gun devil to a certain point before it all went downhill because of Makima, which only adds another layer of significance for Yoru being the Gun devil's mother.

Yoru clearly CARES about the Gun devil and Tank devil, she cares enough how to NOT turn them into weapons to fight Chainsaw Man at first even after constantly insisting of wanting to defeat him. Sure you could argue is a different type of care and not an actual attachment, after all the few horsemen of the apocalypse we've been introduced to were all pretty much selfish and apathetic to others who didn't had any kind of usefulness to their plans.

Makima wanted Pochita so she used about everyone that Denji cared and got rid of them, Famine most likely helped kill Nayuta to get Denji to snap so Black Chainsaw Man could appear. These were all acts made out of cold blood for their own benefits one way or another, even more we could add that Makima basically killed part of her family, the Gun devil and forced them to become a fiend just for Denji to kill them again. And if Fami really had something to do with Nayuta's death she also killed part of her family without a hesitation.

It's enough to say that Yoru turning her children as weapons now and not long time ago is more of a last resort than out of care for them. But let me also add something to the picture:

She said it. It requires guilt to create a powerful weapon. I don't think is just how powerful the devil might already be but also the amount of guilt Yoru might be feeling for turning said devil into a weapon, in her conversation with Asa she also states that her comrades were all eaten by Chainsaw Man with a look that to me just says that she cared for said comrades to an extent, just enough to make Chainsaw Man vomit them back.

But then again she said the way she could beat Chainsaw Man was by creating two powerful weapons, more than the ones Asa already makes: because they are made out of sheer guilt and attachment.

Even if there was a possibility she wasn't using ALL of her children's body for the weapons there was still the risk of them never recovering from her actions, so it adds up to the guilt for Yoru. We could also make it a possibility that in part 1 the reason why the Gun devil attacked Pochita in the first place was to protect their mother, since we already know that Chainsaw Man ate part of war before in order to weaken her and probably that's when her children come into the scene. Plus we know Makima was also trying to fight him for his attention at that time, so he was basically just jumped by a good bunch of powerful devils.

Sure he gets back up everytime but we already know he's not able to entirety win right away when there's more than one powerful enemy going against him, so at some point he must have been actually defeated and that leads to the whole beginning of part 1.

Probably from that point on when Pochita mets Denji a whole bunch of stuff was happening that we don't know, like probably Makima deciding to use the Gun devil as a way to get close once more to Chainsaw Man or Yoru having to take time to recover while thinking of a way to defeat Chainsaw Man.

You could also say that the reason why the War devil might feel guilty for using her own children as weapons is because she's using Asa's body at the moment, since Yoru already stated that she could feel the same things Asa feels. There are frankly many valid points to believe Yoru doesn't actually feel guilty or attached to her children in any way other than just ownership, after all another requirement for her to turn things into weapons is that Yoru has to believe they are hers.

But would you really look at me and tell me that she doesn't actually feel anything to her children at the moment of this conversation?

Even Asa calls her out asking if she couldn't just have turned the Gun devil and Tank devil as weapons before, even more she brought up the fact that Yoru could just chose to not fight Chainsaw Man at all, after all everyone already started remembering war enough, right? No need to keep chasing after a goal that probably won't make her happy in the end, with a bigger repercussion...

Except that she doesn't. This is a mix of competitiveness and survival, the War devil KNOWS that Chainsaw Man could easily defeat her if he actually wanted to and almost did so, he managed to eat part of her and weaken her once. Nothing could guarantee her that she is "safe" from him, besides it already is pretty obvious she wants to win against him for real, she wants him down and gone not just kill him once but the next moment he's alive again.

She's a horsemen of the apocalypse, yes, one of the most powerful devils there is. But she's not safe either way, i'd say one of the other main factors for Yoru to feel the need of fighting Chainsaw Man is because of the Gun devil.

In part 1 we were already shown that the Gun devil was incredibly feared at those moments due to their attacks, since they're War's children then that also want it or not contributed to Yoru's recovery to be able to go search for Chainsaw Man in part 2, but then we got Makima defeating the Gun devil and everything that happened after that with Aki. My best guess is that the Gun devil appeared in hell again but far weakened after everything that happened, sure people still feared him but i don't think nearly as much as they did before the whole fight with Denji since the Gun devil isn't mentioned anymore in part 2 (as far as i am aware, feel free to correct me if wrong.)

Which if Yoru did cared for her children then that makes her recurring to such lengths as to share bodies with Asa have a lot more of sense, she thought that with all of Asa's guilt over almost everything would make her powerful enough to defeat Chainsaw Man plus people remembering War's terrors, so no need to use her children and enjoy the victory.

Yet that didn't happened, she had to use them anyway and that's what happens.

Even she asks this question to herself before doing so: Would i really go that far?

The answer for more heartless that it seems is not too out of character, after all in wars sacrifices are inevitable just think about the many people that die because of them, people that really have nothing to do with the beginning of said war. That's why Yoru went with it because she wouldn't be the War devil without making sacrifices for a victory, even if the sacrifice was using her children as weapons for a fight that probably won't make her happy in the end.

A mother often has to make sacrifices for her children, in war sacrifices has to be made too. In this case? Yoru just had to make the biggest sacrifice a mother could make in a war that she alone decided to continue.

[pattypanini]

Lay All Your Love On Me

Chapter 7- Girls Night Out

Jake Kiszka x Reader and Josh Kiszka x Reader

Word Count: 4.5k

TAGLIST

AN: Hi everyone! Here is the seventh chapter of Lay All Your Love On Me from me and @mar-rein12! Although this chapter does not have anyone going to pound town, we wanted to have a chapter where you could get a little lore on y/n and her friends.

Warnings: 18+, Alcohol (like an insane amount do NOT do this), sexting, nudes, cursing, angst. (Not very exciting stuff but your not ready for chapter 8 and 9 so take this chapter as a breathe of fresh air.)

Y/n’s POV

It’s been a little over a week since that night with Jake. After receiving that late-night text from Josh, things have gotten better between you two, but the guilt was still eating away at you. Josh has been friendly, but not as sexual with you. Sure, you’ve wanted to go over a few times and he's teased at it but nothing ever came of it. You missed your time with him. To make matters worse, you haven’t heard from Jake since that fateful night. You didn’t really know where you stood with either of them. You were confused by your own feelings. 

There you stood on the stage, right beside Josh, preparing to run ‘the wedding scene’. Your stage mom begins to walk you down ‘the aisle’ when the music begins to play, Josh standing at the altar. As the priest begins to speak, Donna interrupts him making the announcement about Sophie’s father. 

Your dialogue continues with your mother, “ I don’t care if you slept with hundreds of men. You’re my mom and I love you so much.” You give her a warm embrace. 

“I haven't slept with hundreds of men,” she chuckles along with you. Sam, one of your potential dads, walks up to the front and begins the tense conversation. As all your possible dads, come join you at the altar to support you in your marriage, for you to call off the wedding.

“Sky, let's just not get married yet. You never wanted this anyway. I know that. Let's just get off this island and just see the world!” You project in your animated acting voice. “Okay? Alright?” 

Josh pulls you in for a kiss and a hug. “I love you.” You know it was just acting, but you genuinely felt cared for in that moment. Josh scoops you up, bridal style, and carries you off stage. 

When you make it backstage, Josh gently puts you down, accidentally swiping his hand across your ass. You know it doesn’t mean anything, but you couldn’t help feeling a little spark. You take a deep breath, innocently resting your head on his shoulder. His left arm snakes around your body, gripping at your waist to pull you into his side. His mouth leans down towards your ear, lightly whispering “You did so well. This is gonna be a really good show.” 

“It really is.” There’s a moment of silence before you decide to bring something up that you have been thinking about for a little bit now. “We've gone through some real character development with each other. We went from enemies, to fucking, and now we’re really good friends. I would say that's pretty good.” 

“I wouldn’t say we were enemies.”

“I would, you hated me. But it doesn't matter because we're here now better than ever.” You stand there whispering a little closer. “But I do miss our times together. I think about it sometimes…”

“No one ever said they had to stop, you just never came over.” He places a little kiss on the top of your head. Giving you butterflies.

He was right, you haven't been over since your night with Jake, you felt weird going over. It felt wrong. But you’d be lying if you said you haven’t wanted to, maybe you should.

“Okay so when are we hanging out.” You ask boldly. 

“How about this weekend. We can go out Saturday, and if things lead to it you can come back to the apartment. Jake will probably be there. Do you care?”

Of course he’ll be there. But you couldn't act like that would change your mind. “Yeah that sounds good. I can't wait.”

“This might be a little pushy now but do you maybe wanna call tonight and catch up. Even though we’ve been hanging out during practice we haven't been talking much since then.”

“I mean we didn’t really talk a lot before that either, we kinda just fucked.” You chuckle a little.

 “True but we still texted more. So can we?” Josh asks with puppy dog eyes.

“As much as I’d like to I can’t tonight, I’m going out with Charlotte and the girls. We’re going to go bar hopping.” 

“On a Thursday?”

“Yeah! Thirsty Thursday.” A small giggle bubbles out of you nervously. Why was he making you nervous?

“Okay, well, what about tomorrow night?” He pushes. 

“Someone sounds a little desperate.” You tease him. 

“Is it desperate to want to talk to my friend?” Friend. You hadn’t heard him refer to you as his friend before, it was weird. But you pushed that feeling down and shook it off.

“Yes definitely, we can call, but why don’t you just have me over?”

“My dads coming up on Friday with my little brother to visit. He’s probably gonna come here unless he convinces our parents to let him work on music the way he wants to. Jake didn’t get out of that one.”

You chuckle a little. “Yeah sure we can call tomorrow and then hang out Saturday.”

“Sounds like a plan, I’m really excited.”

“Me too.” You smile at him,  really excited for this new era of the two of you. 

-

As your friends, Arianna and Mae, make their way to your apartment, Char finalizes her look for the evening you finish off your hair still in your satin robe. Char was sporting a red v-neck bodysuit with black flare leather pants. 

As you look at your closet you ponder on what to wear but couldn’t think of anything good. Maybe you could have a little fun tonight. You open your phone to your messages opening a new chat.

9:45pm y/n: What am I wearing tonight hottie?

9:46pm Jake: Didn’t expect to be hearing from you, I missed you.

It felt wrong, but you weren’t tied down, you weren’t with Josh. 

9:47pm y/n: I missed you too, I’ve been thinking about you a lot. Sooo I’m going out tonight, what am I wearing?

9:47pm Jake: Depends, where are you going?

9:48pm y/n: Bar hopping in town.

9:53pm Jake: Wear the baby pink tank that you wore on your insta a few weeks ago for your friend’s sorority event and that white mini skirt you wore in your Christmas post.

9:54pm y/n: Stalker much lol

9:56pm Jake: I told you I’ve had my eye on you for a while now.

You make your way to your closet and pick out the pieces of clothing Jake chose. You opted for no bra since this shirt held your boobs in place since it's pretty tight.

10:05 pm y/n: Done, thanks for the recommendation.

10:06pm Jake: Umm… no. Not how this works, show me beautiful. I wanna see that sexy body of yours.

You take a quick mirror picture, making sure to pose in a way that accentuates your curves. 

10:07pm y/n: Attachment: 1 image

10:08pm Jake: Perfect as always. I really love having some control over you. You know since I can’t really be with you other than in secret. 

10:10pm y/n: Thank you 😘 I like it too, you can control me however you’d like. 

10:12pm Jake: I'll keep that in mind. Keep me updated tonight, I'll be thinking about you.

You slip on your white booties and clasp your plain gold chain around your neck, along with your classic initial necklace and daily earring stack.

“y/n, Arianna and Mae are here now. Are you ready soon?” You hear Char shout from the other room. 

“Yeah one moment!” You make sure your makeup and hair look up to standard and finish everything off with deodorant and a quick spritz of your favorite perfume. You make your way out of your room, being met with the faces of your best friends. The room fills with shrieks and cheers as everyone sees each other all dressed up. 

“You look so hot, y/n. Your outfit is serving cunt,” Char never fails to make you feel good about yourself. Arianna and Mae agree with her, as Ari pulls her phone from her purse. 

“Selfie?” she says holding her phone up. You all lean into each other, smiles plastered across your soon to be drunken faces. 

“Alright! The uber is gonna be here any minute. One shot, then we gotta go.” Char says lining the shot glasses up on the table, she pours the clear liquid into the tiny glasses. Everyone throws their heads back to take their shot.

“WOOOOO! Lets fucking do this!” Mae screams at the top her longs making her way to the door. God you loved these girls.

Once you are finally in the Uber you feel a buzz come from your lap. 

10:27pm Josh: Be safe tonight, lmk if you need anything. I’ll be thinking about you.

I’ll be thinking about you. These twins have you fucked up, majorly.

10:27pm y/n: Thanks, have a good night too ☺️

When you finally make it to your first bar you and the girls hop out of the uber, feeling excited and ready for the night. Your heels clack against the concrete as you make your way down the sidewalk. You open the door of the bar and you’re immediately smacked in the face with deafeningly loud music and an intense wave of heat. 

“Holy shit, it's hot in here,” You hear Mae announce from behind you. You all make your way over to the bar to order your drinks. 

Arianna, Char, and Mae voice their drink choices to the bartender, as you stand there trying to decide what to get. You came to the conclusion that you needed something strong, something to help you let loose and forget about those god damn Kiszka boys. 

“May I have a long island, please.” You politely ask the bartender and turn around on your heels to face your friends. They are all staring back at you with widened eyes, drink in hand. 

“Damn girl, we’re only at the first bar,” Arianna jokes, a laugh erupting from the other two. 

“I know, I just really want to let loose tonight, it’s been so long since we've all seen each other. Besides, it’s okay to get fucked up every now and then,” you wink at them, you all share a boisterous laugh. “Ugh, I missed you guys so much.” You pull them all in for a big group hug, and pull away only when the bartender offers you up your drink. You give him a quick ‘thank you’ and make your way over to the booth the girls snatched up. 

You squeeze into the booth beside Char, who is sipping away at her vodka spritz. You take a sip of your own drink and spark up a conversation, “So, what have you guys been up to lately? Any special men in your lives?” 

You watch as Mae’s cheeks flush a light pink, “Actually, I have been talking to this guy. He's a really cute, kinda surfer boy with blonde hair. He’s from Hawaii and said that I should come down to visit him so he can teach me how to surf. Isn’t that so romantic?”

“How did you meet him?” Ari asks, wanting to know all the details.

“Well I was there in Hawaii for like a month on vacation, he was wearing a Michigan sweatshirt so I went up to chat and he said he was transferring here. We hooked up a few times while I was there and we’ve been talking for a few months now, I think it's getting real.” 

“That's so cute Mae! I'm so happy for you. When will I get to meet this amazing man?” You ask excitedly. You were happy at least one of your friends wasn’t struggling with relationships like you were. 

“Umm I don’t know , maybe I can introduce you guys to him this week. And what about you y/n anyone new on the roster or are you finally settling down?” Mae says, wiggling her eyebrows up and down.

“Nothing crazy, just doing my normal stuff.” You say, trying to bypass the question.

“Ummmm no actually, you’ve been pretty occupied with a certain someone for the past few weeks. He has even been over to the apartment.” Char says sipping at her drink, looking over to Ari and Mae.

“The apartment?! No guys are ever brought there, he must be special y/n.” Mae adds, giving you a sentimental look.

“He’s just been a good hookup, it's really nothing crazy. Don't act like you guys haven't gotten with the same guys more than once.”

“Well who is it?”

“That's none of your business, Ari.” You tease her with a devious smile on your face.

Mae and Ari look to Charlotte, knowing that at some point she would spill. You can see her struggling to hold it in before…

“IT'S JOSH KISZKA! I’m sorry y/n I really tried to keep it in.” Your forehead falls into your palm not wanting to look up at the group. “Charlotte, seriously!”

“Josh Kiszka, like the sexy theater kid Josh Kiszka?” Mae’s eyes are practically popping out of her head.

“Is there any other?” You reply dryly.

“How did you guys start talking, I hear he’s a hard one to get with. Heard he's kind of an ass, too” Ari says leaning towards you.

“Being an ass is 100% true, getting with him was actually pretty easy though. He was ready to risk it all the first time we hung out together outside of practice for the musical.” You feel the alcohol begin to take effect on your body.

“And his brother Jake, well the one time-.” Everyone is sitting waiting for you to finish. “Well he’s always gone. Josh always kicks him out of the house. I barely even knew he existed.” Lie. “Except for when he walked in on us.”

“WHAT! When???” Mae’s bright blue eyes grow even wider than before. 

“I don’t know, a few weeks ago? It was the first time we hung out alone. He made Jake go to a friend's house and then Jake forgot he had to go and walked in on us. Honestly, I think he did it on purpose.”

Ari cuts in. “I bet he did, I had a class with him freshman year and I overheard him talking with some kid. I think it was Tommy Bucks, nonetheless, they were looking at your Insta and Jake was saying some crazy stuff.”

“L-like what?” Suddenly you’re completely sober. 

“Oh I don’t know normal boy stuff. ‘She’s so sexy, I’d fuck her, She has a fat ass.’ Just the usual.” 

“I did end up getting with Tommy actually, I think.” You mention. You all share a little giggle. 

“Have you ever thought about getting with Jake?”

Oh fuck. “Like I said, I don't really know him. Only time I talked to him was when I had to leave and he apologized.” Oh, you were going to hell. 

“Makes sense.” Ari adds, Mae nodding in agreement. But Charlotte's face was telling a different story. Her eyes narrow at you, in suspicion. 

You chug the rest of your drink. “Next bar?” you suggest. 

Everyone nods and quickly takes their last sip before grabbing their things and heading out the door to the next bar. There were a good amount of bars nearby so taking an Uber wasn’t necessary. 

When you finally get to the next bar you start thinking about him. He’s been on your mind a lot recently, but you were so confused with your emotions. Things were becoming way too complicated for your liking. Against your better judgment, you decide to shoot him a text. 

11:15pm y/n: I miss you, I want you. Wish you were here.

11:16pm Jake: I miss you too sexy, and your body. I wish I could be with you, taking that slutty little outfit off. Who picked that out again?😏

“y/n order your drink!!!” Char screams into your ear over the blaring music. You look up from your phone noticing you’ve been staring at your phone for a little bit. 

“I’ll just have a strawberry daiquiri please, thank you.” Your eyes go straight back to your phone, fingers typing away quickly. 

11:16pm y/n: You did baby and I wouldn’t mind you taking it off of me either. 

Something washed over you, maybe you were ovulating but you were feeling a certain type of way. 

11:16pm y/n: Wanna see me, Jakey?

11:17pm Jake: Of course, sexy girl. Show me what's mine.

The bartender hands you your drink, and immediately you take a big gulp emptying half the glass. 

11:18pm y/n: Who said I was yours?

11:18pm Jake: Is anyone else getting these pics?

11:18pm y/n: No

11:19pm Jake: Then they’re mine, along with your body, all mine.

Next thing you know, Charlotte fingers are snapping in your face. “y/n, it’s girls night not ‘whoever your textings’ night.”

“Okay fineee.” You slur out,  shoving your phone back into your purse. You take another large swig of your beverage, following the girls out to the dance floor. One of your favorite party songs comes on, Bloodline by Ariana Grande. Perfect timing. 

“Even though you’re bad for me, I know!” You serenade Charlotte. Well, maybe more like scream at her. “You’re the one that I’m thinkin, got me feelin’ so incredible. Would you mind maybe linkin?” You sway your hips to the beat and every now and then take a sip of your daiquiri. 

Your favorite part of the song comes on, and with the influence that you were under, you were being absolutely obnoxious. “DON'T WANT YOU IN MY BLOODLINE, YUH. NOT TRYNA MAKE YOU ALL MINE, YUH. AND NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE, NO. BUT YOU GON’ HAVE TO LET THIS SHIT GO.” You scream the lyrics with your chest, jumping all around with Char, Ari, and Mae. This was the most fun you had in a while, but he was still lingering in the back of your mind. 

As you continue to dance, your drink slightly sloshes around in your cup. Charlotte, in her drunken haze, accidentally bumps into you,sending your drink flying all over your shirt. “Oh my God, y/n. I-I’m so sorry,” she apologizes, her words slurring together. 

“Char, it’s not a problem, really. I’m just going to run to the bathroom real quick to dry off. I’ll be right back!” You begin to walk away from the dance floor towards the bathroom.

“Do you want me to come help?” You hear Charlotte ask.

“No, no. It’s okay, I promise. I’ll be quick. Might take a piss while I'm in there, too.” You hand your drink to Char and disappear through the singular bathroom door, quickly locking the door behind you. You grab a few pieces of toilet paper and try to wipe off as much of the drink as you can. Oh fuck. When you look into the mirror, your nipples fully see through your baby pink top. Wait. You look back to the door to make sure it is locked. 

Opening your camera you take a few shots of yourself. One straight on, seeing your nipples through the shirt. One from above showing your cleavage, making sure to push and pull them in all the right places. You look back to see them. Damn you look pretty good. You take one more shot from below, showing your ass peeking out of your skirt. Perfect.

11:31pm y/n:  Attachments: 3 Images 

11:31pm y/n: I hope you're still thinking of me, I know I’m thinking of you.

11:33pm Jake: Holy fuck y/n, you’re so fucking hot. I need you so bad. Show me more baby please, I'm so desperate for you. 

11:34pm y/n: You want me to come over?

11:35pm Jake: Really? Please.

11:36pm y/n: No, keep dreaming tho 😉

11:37pm Jake: You're such a tease. I think you owe me now.

11:38pm y/n: You’ll get more later don’t you worry baby. Ttyl 😘

You quickly take your piss and make your way back onto the dance floor trying to find where your friends were sitting. When you finally locate them you take a seat next to Mae and take a sip of your drink.

“Char get off of HayDay, I swear you're addicted.” Mae says from across the table, much louder than she has to.

“HayDay is life guys. I’m almost to level 40 and I need to get my stuff ready for my boat.” She slurs as she stares at her phone like a little kid. You giggle at her taking a larger sip of your drink. I really want a beer.

“I think I’m gonna get a corona. I'm in the mood for it.” You say before slipping off your seat trying to make your way to the bar.

Ari grabs you by the shoulder, “y/n, I think you should slow down a little on the drinks.” 

“Omg you guys are so boringggg. I don’t even have class until 4 tomorrow so I’ll deal with it before then.” You continue your way to the bar asking the bartender for a corona with a lime. As you wait for the bartender to return with your drink you meet with an old face. Oh shit.

“What’s up, pretty lady.”

“Hi Mark.” You give a dry response not super happy to be seeing him especially after the call situation when you were with Josh. 

Mark used to be a regular hook up for you. He was an attractive man, 6 foot 2 and played basketball for the university. You met him in a class last semester and through ‘studying’ you began to see each other more often. Which led to makeouts and then quickly became hookups. But his attractiveness is as far as it went. He had an awful personality and wasn’t very faithful to any of his past girlfriends. And while he may seem charming on the outside, once you got to know him, his aggressiveness came out. He would get mad when you slept with other men even though you weren’t dating. So you slowly weaned off him and didn’t really reach out to him after that. 

“Why the sour face, aren’t you happy to see me?” He asks with his classic smirk.

“Not really Mark, so if you don’t mind I’m gonna go back to my friends now.”

“Whatever y/n, give me a call whenever you’re actively fucking someone else” Mentioning the call that happened the other day. 

“Why did it make you jealous hearing someone else make me feel good?” You give him a fake little pout, pretending to feel sorry for him. 

“Not at all, I know you’ll be crawling back to me whenever you get bored of the current man.” He says bluntly, walking away without another word. 

Fuck him. You grab your drink and head back to the table. “Guys you would not believe who I just saw.” You say sitting back in your seat.

Charlotte looks up from her phone, ready to hear the drama. “Who, spill.”

“Mark.”

“I fucking hate him bro. I don’t know why you hooked up with him for so long.” Char rolls her eyes.

“I didn’t give a shit about his personality, I just wanted to be dicked down.”

“Well, I think it's a sign we should head out.” Char says quickly sipping the rest of her drink down. You quickly grab your beer, chugging as much as you can before handing it off to Mae to finish the rest.

The last two bars were a drag. You didn’t drink that much due to the fact that you heavily drank in the last two. You finally get into the Uber and doze off until you are nudged by Char when you arrive at the apartment. 

When you make your way inside you shake off your boots and head back to your room. Jeez you look a mess. A hot mess nonetheless. You open your phone to a couple texts. 

The first being from Josh. 

12:47am Josh: Lmk when you get home safe. 

1:23am y/n: I just got back, Thanks for checking in on me, Josh. 🥰 Ttyt

The second being a less innocent text from his twin brother. 

1:04am Jake: I’ve been thinking about you all night. There hasn’t been a moment I wasn’t thinking of you. 

1:12am Jake: You make me wanna touch myself y/n. 

1:25am y/n: I can help you out with that 😉

1:26am Jake: Please baby I need it. If you don’t want to, it's okay, but I wanna cum to you. You make me fucking crazy.

You smirk at his texts. Oh, how you love begging men. You slip off your top and take a picture of yourself, holding one tit in your hand pushing it up slightly, snapping the photo. Maybe it was the alcohol but something came over you. You begin to take a little video. Holding your tit and pushing it up to your mouth. Sticking your tongue out trying to lick your tits, something that has been proven to get the men going. 

1:29am y/n: 2 Attachments: 1 image, 1 video 

1:30am y/n: I’ll talk to you tomorrow, enjoy your little videos, and don’t be scared to save them for a later date. Night Jakey😘

Without waiting for another text you plug in your phone and take off your skirt slipping into a large shirt. Taking off your makeup was not even a thought, you crawled into bed, reminiscing the best girls night out ever.

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@demonrat444 @gvfstuddedmajesty @jordie-gvf @jazzyfigz @slut4lando @gvfmarge @peaceloveunitygvf @jjwasneverhere @areuirish @mar-rein12 @woyayaofdreams @freyjalw @musicspeaks @jennabobenasblog @do-it-jakey-baby @dannys-dream @sarah-gvf01 @jakekiszkapunchmeintheface

[pick-me-up-im-scared]

So Called Revenge (Hiccup x Reader) (Angst)

Author's Note: I felt like doing a one-shot where the reader gets treated shitty, but then gets revenge. I've read stories where the gang (minus Hiccup) treats the reader bad, and I've always thought "but where's the revenge?". So, now I've taken matters in my own hands and wrote the ultimate badass respond. I'm clearly going through something, haha. I'm sorry Astrid for taking it out on you...

Short Summary: You’re getting abused by the dragon riders, both mentally and physically. Ever since you were a kid they seem to have something against you. Though there’s one person who’s not mean to you. Hiccup. You’ve been friends with him for a while now and your getting along very well. Matter of fact, you have a crush on him.

⚠️Warning!⚠️: This story includes swearing and gore and a brief suicide scene.

And if you're very prude, you might consider that this story including smut. There's no sexual acts, just some light "describing".

(y/n/n) = your nickname

Words: 4489

(I don't own any of the GIFs)

Your pov:

Another day in the beloved village called Berk. Notice my sarcasm. Well let's be clear, it's not necessarily the village that's the problem. Rather the people living in it. Even more specifically, a group of dragon riders. My life hasn't been the best, but it could be worse. That's until I hit my teenage years and the dragon riders decided to make my life a living hell. Don't get me wrong, they've had a thing against me all my life. But it's been more physical in the later years. Don't ask me why. Though there's one exception. Hiccup. He´s never said anything rude to me nor laid a hand on me. I think it's cause he feels pity for me. He knows how it feels to be nagged down. Also, the boy doesn't have a bad bone in his body, so he would never even consider doing such an act. And he'd definitely stop them if it wasn't for the fact they never do anything when he's around. They're smart. They know what consequences their actions could lead to if the Chief saw this type of behavior.

But Hiccup and I have more "history" then this. Well, history and history. He tried to interact with me back when we were 15, cause..... well, we were in the same boat. Though I would love to be friends with him, I couldn't even look at him for more then five seconds. Okay, I'll admit it, I have had a crush on Hiccup ever since we were 15. Why not confess your feelings for him? Hum? Well, he's already taken. And Astrid doesn't seem to like me that much to begin with, and I don´t think she would be more found of me if she finds out I've fallen for her boyfriend. Even though I regret not socializing with Hiccup straight from the beginning I've made up for it over the few years. We've grown pretty close, actually. We soon found out we shared an interest in sketching. He loved to watch as my talented hands worked their magic in my sketchbook. I still remember the day he asked me to make a portrait of him. Let me tell you, if I hadn't fallen in love with him already spending 1,5 hours, looking at his gorgeous, freckled face sure would. If you look past the sweating, butterflies in the stomach, and the shaking due to my nerves, I really like to spend time with Hiccup.

I dragged my limping body towards my dresser, changing into my regular outfit. I got down the stairs to make myself some breakfast. Me and my brother barely see each other throughout the day. Just a quick 'hello' or a simple wave whenever we saw each other around the village. It isn't until he comes home at the evening we could properly interact. But he's usually too exhausted by the day's hard work so we just eat dinner then he's off to bed. Due to our 'situation' he has to work harder in order to provide for the both of us. Both our parents has, unfortunately, passed away. Mother died from pestilence, three years ago. No chance of survival, just counting the days she had left. Our whole family got affected by our mother's death, though our father took it the worse. He fell into a deep depression which lead to him taking his life two years later. He hang himself from the wooden beam in their, well his, bedroom. Leaving me and Christopher to take care of our selfs. Remember the part where Hiccup felt bad for me? Yeah, I think this has some reasons for that too.

I did my part, but my payment wasn't in much help in the long run. So I'd stand for the cooking and taking care of the household to try to make it up for him. Especially the long nights. You see, the gang doesn't "just" call me name or tell me what a disappointment I am to my family. There's been a couple of times where they've hurt me physically, too. Punches against the face, kicks in the stomach, even cuts at various body parts. And who has to patch me up again? Christopher. I get mad at myself for not fitting in. Making my brother lack in sleep because I can't stop being seen as a burden. I see Hiccup as my best, well my only, friend and trust him with all of my problems. But how could I tell him his girlfriend and his friends mentally and physically abuse me? He wouldn't believe me. So I try ti stay away from them, but more importantly don´t be around them on my own.

Once the dry slice of bread was washed down by a glass of lukewarm water I was ready to start my day. I opened up the door to be met by grey clouds. This would actually be considered as nice weather for Berk, since we're used to pouring rain or hail. I walked down the village. Noticing my brother at his second shift at the blacksmith. I gave him a wave once we had eye contact. He gave me a warm smile, since his hands were too busy to answer me with a wave back. I chuckled for myself until my eyes fell onto another familiar face. Hiccup. I stopped in my tracks. He was chatting with the rest of the gang, just outside The Great Hall. I got a bellyache just looking at them. Of course Hiccup isn't the reason to my abrupt stop. If it would have been just him and Toothless I would have ran up and hugged him, chatting about something random like we always do. But his company prevent that from happening. Constant flashback of the last solo "meeting" with the rest of the gang went through my head.

I shield my face with my right hand as I quicken the pace, hoping to get away from them as fast as possible. Without getting noticed. "Hey (y/n/n)!" I cringed before looking up to see Hiccup waving me over. Damn it! He saw me. I walked over to the gang, trying not to look too suspicious where Hiccup would notice. It took every nerve in my body to walk over there, being terrified to find out what they'll do if Hiccup leaves. As I reached them Hiccup wrapped his arm around my shoulder while looking down at me, smiling warmly "How are you today, (y/n/n)?". I could tell Astrid's starting to get pissed by the way he approached me. I removed his arm while laughing nervously "I'm great, Hiccup. Thanks for asking". He nodded, giving me another smile. They went back to their own conversations, not really giving me the opportunity to flick in. I began feeling really awkward, just standing there. Seeing this as my opportunity to avoid getting beaten up, I tried to sneak away. As I turned my back to run off, thinking I successfully left without anyone noticing, I felt a pair of arms around my waist. Damn it!

I got dragged back to the group, my hopes of getting back to my house went further and further away. Getting back to the exact position I was in just a few seconds ago Hiccup held his arm around me to prevent me from leaving again. "Where were you going?" he asked as he tried to study my face. I sighed "Nowhere". He looked suspiciously at me, but didn't ask any further. "So (y/n), we were wondering if you wanted come fly with us?" Hiccup asked with his adorable smile. "Uhm, I don't have a dragon, so... very sorry Hiccup but unfortunat-" "You can fly with me and Toothless" he interrupted before I could finish my excuse as to why I 'unfortunately' couldn't join them. I glanced at Astrid before looking back at him "You don't have to. I'll be fine right here". Hiccup chuckled "Stop it, I know how much you like to fly when we're alone" Astrid's eyes widened. "You're coming. That's a Chief's order" he joked.

"I'm just going to do... some manly businesses, then we're ready to go!" Hiccup informed before starting to walked off. I looked at the group who already smirked at me, giving me an idea of what's to come. Answering with a worried look I quickly grabbed Hiccup's upper arm, making him stop. "I-I'll go with you" I said, trying to cover up how terrified I actually am. He looked at me for a while before saying "Uhm.... I'm going to pee, (y/n/n)". I began to panic even more "I know, but you know, it's always better to do things together" I laughed nervously again "I..... I c-can keep you company!". He looked at me confused "It's just around the corner, I'll be quick". "Oh, babe. Could you get me my spare sweatshirt? I seem to have forgotten it at home" Astrid asked, knowing all too well what she's doing. "Yeah, sure! (y/n) it'll take a bit longer including that, but I'll be back as soon as possible" I listen as my last bit of hope blew away. I'm screwed! I watched as Hiccup left.

"He's nice, isn't he?", I snapped my head towards a smirking Astrid. "Huh?" I asked rather confused. Was she genuinely asking or was this some sort of trick? My question was soon answered as Astrid punched me straight in the face, making me fall to the ground. As I dragged my hand under my nose I saw blood. I tried to swipe it up with the sleeve of my tunic. Hiccup can't see this! I looked up at Astrid as she continued "I've seen the way you look at him. But he's mine, and I don't like other girls looking at my boyfriend". "Why? You're afraid he'll leave you for me?" I snapped back, but immediately regret giving such a cocky comeback. Her eyes widened before she punched me again, this time focusing on my eye. My head fell back with the sudden dizziness.

Astrid grabbed me by the hair to keep my head up while she spoke to me "I don't need to worry about you. Sluts isn’t his favorite anyway". She lets go off my hair and instead grabbed my wrist, pressing it against the ground while she strangled me. I grabbed her face with my other hand, trying to make her get off me. "Hey, Snotlout! Grab her other wrist!" she ordered, and soon both my wrists were against the muddy ground. Astrid brought out her dagger. She motioned to Snotlout who lifted up my navy tunic to my neck, exposing my bare chest to the rest of the gang who were circling us. Both to get a better look at what was happening and to cover up the ongoing situation from the people walking by. They laugh at the sight, which made me fight even harder to get out of their grip. I need to get out of here. Come on (y/n)! Come on!

"Let's see what the guys think when your breasts are butchered" Astrid said when she slide the knife over my exposed chest. I bit my lip at first to prevent myself from screaming, knowing they'll punish me hard if I do. But as she continued to slice my flesh I screamed out in pain. Snotlout was quick to cover my mouth until the damage was done. Astrid smirked devilish at her work as I panted heavily. Snotlout let's go of my wrist, figuring I wouldn't have the energy to do anything anyway. "From what I've heard your bed's pretty busy. At least that's what Calvin said", my eyes widened at the mentioning of his name. Calvin were my ex boyfriend, who I've spent 2 years of my life with. Based on his personality, I wasn't surprised he talked to the gang behind my back. What I'm nervous about is what he told them. You'd think I'm over a relationship that ended 2 years ago, but how can I when it's constantly brought up?

"He would brag about taking your virginity before you were wed" Astrid continued. "No he didn't" I said unsurely, looking up at the rest of the gang that still surrounded me. "Yeah he did. What type of things you were willing to do. The slutty behavior you would take on. I still remember Hiccup's disgusted face when he told us" Astrid continued. He told Hiccup, too? "Stop it!" I screamed, tears steaming down my cheeks. "I know Hiccup well enough to know he doesn't like girls with slutty behaviors like yours. He like his girls virgin and pure. Not someone who's willing to spread her legs at any guy that gives her a little attention. Not that you had a chance with him to begin with" she laughed while looking down at me. My blood was pumping with anger as she continued to lie. Even though all I felt was anger, my words just came out as whispering "Please stop" why wouldn't she stop? "What? I'm just telling you the truth. You're sad now that your imaginary fairytale wouldn't come true, cause Hiccup wouldn't even touch you with a stick?" my blood was boiling more and more with every word Astrid feed me "Come on, (y/n)! Don't aim at guys that's out of your league. It's only pathetic. You know they only want you for what's in your pant-". Astrid was cut off as I pushed her off me and slammed her against a house. I wrapped my fingers around her neck and began to choke her.

"I said stop it!" I yelled straight in her face, not being able to handle the anger that was built up inside of me. "Why won't you listen for once and shut the fuck up?" I said through gritted teeth as I squeeze my hands harder around her neck. "(y/n) stop! She can't breathe!" Snotlout yelled as he approached us. "Don't you dare fucking touch me again!" I snapped back, not taking my eyes off Astrid. A satisfaction filled my body as I saw Astrid chip for air. All the anger I've kept inside from all the things she'd said and all the gestures was being thrown into this moment. I heard Snotlout's steps behind me again. Not wanting to risk this opportunity being disturb I pulled Astrid away from the house wall and put her in a chokehold instead. We turned around quickly to face the rest of the group "I said stay away!" I yelled. Thank gods Astrid wasn't able to fight back due to her unconsciousness, otherwise she'd easily take me down. Snotlout was still walking towards us, making me sigh.

I grabbed Astrid's dagger and threw it at Snotlout's thigh. He screamed out in pain before dropping to the ground. I grabbed my own dagger and pointed it towards the rest of the gang who slowly backed away. The pain of Astrid pressed against my opened wounds was nothing compared to the satisfaction. The satisfaction of finally getting my revenge. "(y/n)!", I snapped out off my focus at the yelling of my name by a familiar voice. Tuffnut took this opportunity to unwrap my arm around Astrid's neck while shoving me to the ground. As I looked up I saw Hiccup rubbing Astrid's back as she was coughing like crazy. He looked at Snotlout who's moaning in pain while laying on the ground, before he turned to me. "(y/n)! What did you do this for?" Hiccup asked with an angry tone. He was clearly pissed off, but why? If he had heard just one of the things she was saying we wouldn't have this discussion now.

"She started it!" I said while pointing to Astrid. Hiccup rolled his eyes, clearly not believing me, "Oh come on, (y/n)! Stop act so childish! You could have killed her!" he raised his voice again, especially at that last part. "Too bad you pushed me away, or I could have killed that bitch" I mumbled. Hiccup snapped his head, staring daggers into me "What did you just say?". I'm not back out of this. I stand for what I think, I'm not going lower myself to that pest's level. "I said, too bad you pushed me away, or I could have killed that bitch!" I repeated while standing up with grace, ignoring the pain. Hiccup couldn't believe what I had just said, even though he heard me the first time. He didn't know what to say. His eyes just looked at me with disgust. I brushed off my pants before making my way back to my hut. As I walked past Astrid I quickly went up to her and kicked her in the stomach. I smirked as I walked off, fulfilling my goal of making her feel at least a tenth of the pain she'd caused me. I ignore Hiccup's upset calls for me, and the rest of the gang's insults that was being thrown.

Hiccup's pov:

"You're so delusional, Hiccup" Christopher, (y/n)'s bother, said while I tried my best to comfort Astrid. She didn't coughing anymore, but she was still holding on tight to my shoulders. I sighed and turned to Christopher "What? Your sister were about kill my girlfriend. If there's one thing I'm not it's delusional". "You can't be this stupid, right?", I felt Astrid stiffing in my arms but played it off as fear. "If Tuffnut wouldn't have pushed (y/n) away she would have kept going until Astrid stopped breathing. Or did I get that part wrong?" I asked sarcastically. "Yeah, she probably would, but she had her reasons". I let go of Astrid to stand up and walk over to Christopher. "Oh, please tell me what reasons she had that would make it sain to kill someone!" I yelled. My gods, what's up with this family? "Because Astrid would do the same to her!" I got a bit taken away by the tone of his voice.

"You all would" Christopher gestured to the whole gang, who looked down in shame. What are they doing? Is this true? "They would never do such a thing" I defending the gang, praying to the gods this isn't true. Christopher huffed "You haven't seen what they've done to her, Hiccup. The deep wounds I've had to clean up. The painful screams and sleepless nights. The old wounds barely having a chance to heal until they're met by one ones. Words a 13 year old girl shouldn't even know exist, non the less being called. All the death threats and names being thrown at her. How would you like it to be called 'a useless whore who's the reason her father killed himself'?". I flinched at the harsh words. My eyes began to get glossy as the information gets feed into my head. What have I done?

"And for you to call yourself Chief and don't know anything about it" he said while poked his finger at my chest before walking away. I look around at the gang while asking "Is this true?". My expression showed the guilty I was feeling. "Is what true?" Snotlout asked, playing dumb. "Have you told (y/n) those awful things and abused her behind my back?" I spat, already knowing the answer based on Snotlout's unnecessary question. I cringed as the words came out of my mouth. I can't believe someone would say and do those things to (y/n). The sweet and beautiful girl I´m happy to even call my friend. For people to say that is fucked up, but these people also being the people I refer to as friends. And my fucking girlfriend being the worse? After some time they all nodded, making me feel like throwing up. Everyone expect Astrid. I walked up to her, not even bothering to hunch down to her level. I looked down at her and asked "Have you been apart of any of these actions, Astrid?" She looked at me nervously, not being able to have eye contact with me for more than a second. "No, I would never do such horrible things, Hic. Not to our beloved (y/n/n)". I knew she would lie. "Why are you lying to me?" I ask with a sturdy tone. Her face dropped "I'm not, Hi-". I cut her off by turning my back to her, walking away.

The information Christopher told me clouded my mind. He's right, I am a useless Chief, even more a friend. If I were a good friend I would have noticed this way before. This explains why she never wanted to come down to the lake to swim. Why she'd stay home for days at the time once she'd been felt with the gang by herself. Gods, I'm an idiot for not connecting the dots! I could feel the tears forming in my eyes, but I quickly blinked them away. I can be the one crying when I'm the asshole. I walked up the porch till I was right in front of the familiar door. I knock. I heard Christopher's voice from inside "(y/n), I told you to sit down and rest! I can answer the door!". I heard uneven steps getting closer and closer.

As the door opened I could see (y/n) limping as she took another step towards the doorway. She supported herself against the handle which allowed me to see the bandage that covered most of her upper body though her opened shirt. What have they done to her? My poor (y/n). She widened her eyes when she saw me. I could tell she immediately tried to hide any signs of her injury, straighten her back. "Are you here to continue yelling at me?" she asked bluntly. I shook my head. "If you're here to receive an apology, you can fuck off! I'm not sorry for finally putting that pathetic bitch in her place" I tensed up a bit at her harsh words, but then remembered the things they've done to her. Now the guilt came back "Yeah, about that, I'm so sorry (y/n). I should have listened to yo-" "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Bye" she cut me off and slammed the door right in my face. Okay, I deserved that. I decided there's no need to knock again. She wouldn't answer it anyway.

I was actually quite surprised to see her at The Great Hall at lunch time. She had a plate of food in front of her, but by the looks of it she hadn't touched it. I grabbed my own plate and made my way over to her table. "Is this seat taken?" I asked, pointing at the spot in front of her. She look at me for a while before shaking her head. I sat down and she immediately turned her head, not wanting to look at me. "Chicken isn't your favorite?" I asked jokingly. "There's other things that makes me lose my apatite" she answered brutally, still looking at the floor beside her. I sighed "Look (y/n/n) I-" "Don't call me that!" she snapped. I jumped at her sudden outburst "Okay, sorry.... (y/n), I'm so sorry, I truly am. I should have trusted you. It's just- I never thought Astrid or any of the others would ever do anything like this to you. Not in my wildest, darkest imagination".

"Well they did" she bite back. "I know, and I don't know what to do to make it up to you. I truly care for you (y/n), and I can't forgive myself for letting you go through this for so long" I caressed her shoulder while pouring out my feelings. She look at me shocked "I-I love you, Hiccup". Now it's my turn to be shocked. S-she l-loves me? "I-I'm sorry, what was that?" I asked, wanting to make sure I heard her correct. "I love you, Hiccup. I have ever since we were 15. I wouldn't socialize with you because I got so nervous whenever you were around. I know we'll never be anything, so I've tried to hide my feelings for you. But I guess Astrid noticed it anyway. Half of the things she told me was surrounding that. Me having a crush on you". Okay, Christopher definitely didn't tell me that. She took a deep breath before she continued "I know you're with Astrid, and I don't mean to ruin anything. I just felt the need to confess and now seemed like a good time". She lowered her gaze in order to avoid eye contact.

I sat with my mouth wide open. I can't believe what she just confessed. She love me? She has loved me for six years and she hasn't told me? "Y-you love me?" I asked, still not sure if this was a dream or not. She nodded. "You can go back to your gang now. I won't bother you anymore, don't worry" she informed before standing up and leave. Due to my shock my reactions were a bit delayed. But as soon as my mind was coping the situation I raised up and ran towards her "(y/n) wait!". Once I caught up with her I noticed the tears running down her cheeks "Hiccup, please don't make this harder then it already is" she cried out "Try to forget about me and go to your girlfriend". As she finished her sentence I grabbed her cheeks and kissed her. I could tell she was shocked but soon gave in. As we pulled away she looked at me confused. "She's right here... in front of me" I said while smiling at her. She smiled back before pulling me into another kiss.

_____________________________________________________________

Author's Note: Not how I planned to end this story, but it's cute. Though I would like to know your opinion on endings. Do you like having them being sad (if it's allowed), or do you like this cutesy 'live happily ever after'- type of endings?

[buddiebeginz]

In the beginning of this season we had Chris talking about Shannon and how it didn't matter if he wasn't being serious about the girls he's dating because all people did was leave anyway. They kind of wrapped all that up in that episode but I feel like there was a lot more to that scene than just the surface stuff.

This could have been just a convo with Eddie and Chris or even just Chris and Buck but instead it was all three of them. They put Eddie in that scene for a reason. Because it's not just Chris that's afraid of everyone leaving it's Eddie too.

More accurately Eddie is scared to lose the one person who knows him better than anyone else (think about who was there during the worst parts of Eddie's ptsd) and who was not only there but saved Eddie during the shooting. Buck is who knows him and who he depends on not just as a friend and partner but as a co parent. Just look at when he was worried about Chris this season he went straight to Buck to talk about it and ask for help.

What if Eddie has known about his feelings for Buck since he almost died in that well. If you watch that ep what he sees in his flashes of memory are predominately Buck and Chris. And what did he do after that? He added Buck to his will. Sure it was to make sure Chris was safe and looked after but if you watch and listen to Eddie when he tells Buck about the will it's clear that he was trying to say I love you to him in the only way he felt he could. Also if the will wasn't that big of a deal why did it take him a whole year to even tell Buck about it?

We've been so focused on Buck and his jealousy and insecurities (rightfully so given his past) we haven't been talking about how Eddie has a lot of those himself. What happened with Shannon scarred him a lot especially where Chris is concerned. She hadn't even been back in their lives all that long before she died and it clearly still impacts them both.

If you look at how few relationships Eddie has had since then and how he always seems hesitant to be vulnerable or invest much of himself in them this is why. I also think it's because his heart already belongs to Buck. These relationships to me have all feel very hollow like we're watching a guy just go through the motions. I mean look at how he broke up with Ana.

I think it's very likely that Eddie knows how he feels about Buck is more than just friendship but 1. He doesn't think those feelings would be reciprocated. 2. Even if they are I think Eddie is going to be scared at first to risk their friendship and change things. To lose the one person who has been a constant since he came into it. But I think Eddie's biggest hesitation will be Chris. He knows the kind of bond Chris and Buck have had so I think he would be worried about doing something to fuck that up. He still likely blames himself over Shannon's death and blames himself for why his son doesn't have a mom, so he'll likely be scared to risk losing the only other parent Chris has known.

Ultimately I do think we're going to get canon Buddie (probably not until season 8) but I do think this is one way they could drag the story out for a little bit. Like we could have Buck with his whole jealousy thing which leads him into figuring out his sexuality and at some point during all this in season 7 he'll have his Oh moment.

Eventually Eddie either finds out about Buck's feelings for him or Buck tells him and maybe we even get a kiss between them but then Eddie stops it and says he can't do it he can't risk what they have for something they might have and lose.

So into season 8 they're a little weird around each other until Buck decides to start dating a guy and we get to see Eddie being jealous and realizing he doesn't want to be without Buck anymore (and can't stand the thought of him with someone else). And this forces him to have to deal with a lot of the stuff he's never really dealt with from Shannon's death. Maybe we get some Frank scenes. Or maybe some Eddie and Maddie scenes because despite what the show would have a us believe I do think they hang out sometimes. But at some point maybe towards the end of season 8 we get one of those big sappy romantic gestures where Eddie tells Buck he loves him and he's always been his person. I'd also love it if season 8 ended up with Buck moving into Eddie and Chris' place. Buck has always been searching for where he belongs when his home is right there with his boys.

[btr-rewatch]

Big Time Rush Season 1, Episode 12: “Big Time Terror”

I've been looking forward to this one since I decided to start doing this rewatch. SHOT IN THE DARK!! Let's gooooo!!!! *tosses confetti into the air*

Highlights: Ghost hunting, ginormous bowls of oatmeal, and the best song ever written in the history of ever.

It's a beautiful night at the Palm Woods, and BTR and many of the Palm Woods residents are gathered around the fire, hanging out and having a grand ol' time. The guys are singing "Stuck," which is a song I'd probably rank among my favorites.

Their fun time is interrupted suddenly by a strange sound. As everyone turns to look, they see that a small table is moving along the patio all by itself. The boys look on in confusion and fear, with Carlos and Logan immediately gravitating toward Kendall for protection, which certainly gives me feelings. I love them. I love that the reaction is instinctual and says so much about who Kendall is and how the other guys see him. The Protector. The one who will shield them from harm. Kendall is a source of safety.

After returning to their apartment, Logan, ever the logical one, explains to Carlos that it wasn't a ghost but the air conditioner causing a backdraft that shut the doors. He doesn't have an explanation for the moving table, though. Carlos insists it was a ghost.

There's a knock on the door, which startles everyone but Kendall, and he explains to his scaredy-cat friends, "there is nothing terrifying behind this door." And who's behind the door? Gustavo! He tells the guys that his mansion is flooded, and he has to stay with them tonight.

They're not particularly thrilled about a sleepover with Gustavo, but Mama Knight tells the guys that they should let him stay the night because "Doing nice things for people who aren't so nice is nice."

We go to the lobby oh-so-briefly then to see Bitters and the Palm Woods residents all running frantically from something. We don't see a ghost, but there is mysterious wind and spooky green lights.

Up in 2J, everyone is seated around the table for dinner. It's Fish Stick Friday (with tots)! After some initial skepticism, Gustavo discovers the fish sticks aren't so bad, and he asks what else the guys do on Fridays, which leads into a montage of their evening. Gustavo has a blast. The guys...do not.

But the award for Not Having a Good Time goes to Logan, who gets SAT ON by Gustavo for HALF AN HOUR.

Cannot even begin to put together a theory on how this managed to happen.

The boys are all relieved when it's finally time for bed, but they quickly realize they aren't going to get much sleep with Gustavo's snoring practically shaking the whole apartment. Carlos has an idea for how to fix the problem, though.

Carlos's expression kills me. Look at him. Jaw set and that look of firm determination in his eyes. Carlos has a roll of duct tape, and he isn't afraid to use it. He will silence the big, snoring man. I don't know if we've ever seen him look so serious and angry before??

Also, I just have to point out that First Episode Kendall absolutely would've been on board with this plan. He probably would've grabbed the tape and done it himself. Maybe even gone a little further and taped Gustavo to the couch just for extra fun.

They trudge down to the lobby to sleep there but are scared off by the Palm Woods Ghost, who shuts off the lights, breaks a vase, stacks the furniture, and slams the doors. They run back to the apartment and are greeted by the image of Gustavo scratching his butt.

THE BOYS ARE HAVING THE WORST NIGHT EVER

The following morning, everyone wastes no time in handing Gustavo his stuff and all but kicking him out the door. They're all like:

But Gustavo isn't so eager to leave. Instead, he decides to join Kendall and James for a fun afternoon by the pool.

Listen. I love Gustavo, ok? Especially in these scenes, where he's just a loveable teddy bear of a guy wanting to hang out with his buddies. He is having SO MUCH FUN with them and is SO OBLIVIOUS that they're not having fun. No awareness at all.

Meanwhile, Logan and Carlos are having their own little adventure conducting paranormal research in the lobby. Carlos is convinced they're going to catch evidence of a ghost. Logan is convinced Carlos is just an idiot.

So far in the series, any time Logan and Carlos are paired together, all they do is bicker. But it makes sense, given that Logan is the smartest of the group and Carlos is...probably last in that particular ranking. Which is NOT to say that Carlos isn't intelligent in his own way, because he certainly is, but he doesn't have the same type of intelligence as Logan. Carlos is just innocent. Child-like. And we love him for it, but it sure does put him in a good position to clash with Logan over everything, doesn't it?

After setting up the camera and taking some time to smack each other around, Carlos, Logan, (and Bitters) catch sight of a ghostly green figure going through the lobby. They all take off running.

We skip ahead to the next day, where Gustavo's reign of terror over apartment 2J continues. He's not even trying to return to his mansion. In fact, he moves a lot of his things, including his bed, into 2J.

Also, everyone is eating the most ridiculously big bowls of oatmeal I've ever seen.

Look at James's bowl. That's like oatmeal for three or four people. And I know, I know, they needed to have a big bowl in order for Gustavo to be able to push James's face into it but come on. That's the most oatmeal I've ever seen in a single bowl.

After hearing that Gustavo will likely be staying several more days, Kendall pulls James out into the hallway to tell him that they need to handle this like men. Immediate cut to them begging and pleading to Kelly for help.

Kelly is confused because she had told Gustavo the previous night that he could return to his mansion. She reveals to the guys that Gustavo didn't really have a chance to live a typical childhood and play with other kids. Which is, um, really sad and something that should've been explored more!! She tells Kendall and James to figure everything out and flees the Palm Woods. Kelly wants no part in dealing with this lol.

The "Get Gustavo out of the Palm Woods" plot takes a backseat then as BTR focuses their energy on defeating the ghost. Armed with vacuum cleaners and goggles, they engage in a Scooby-Doo-style chase around the lobby.

Finally, they catch the ghost and reveal that it's not a real ghost at all. It's the new girl, Stephanie King!

She's making a horror movie and has been using the Palm Woods residents as her cast. She asks them not to tell on her, which Kendall agrees to under one condition.

We cut to 2J, where a peacefully sleeping Gustavo is woken up by Stephanie's ghost "floating" by his bed. Armed with a fan, projector light, fog machine, and a microphone, the guys manage to send Gustavo running from the apartment in terror.

The following scene is. The scene is—it's...

IT'S SHOT IN THE DARK!!! WOOOOO!!!

"Shot in the Dark" is by far my favorite BTR song, and I loved it so so much when I first heard it in this episode. You can imagine my yearning all these years to get an official version of it. Apparently, a full-ish demo version was released on youtube like...10 years ago?? I had no clue there was ANY full version until the guys released it in November. So, all this time, the only version of it I've known has been the one from this episode. Just about fainted when I checked Spotify and saw "Shot in the Dark" on there.

And I do have ✨thoughts✨about the song, but I might put them into a separate post. It's such a good song.

We end the episode at the pool, where everyone is once again sent running in fear from another moving table. This time, it's the work of Katie, who has discovered Fun With Fishing Line. The end.

Fantastic episode. This one would rank pretty high on my list of favorites. Both plots are great, and I like the way they merge at the end to wrap everything up. +46287593 bonus points for having "Shot in the Dark" in it. However, I do think there was a missed opportunity to include a heart-to-heart type scene between the boys and Gustavo. The guy had a lonely, isolated childhood and just wants a sense of connection with his dogs! He wants friends and to run around with reckless abandon playing "tag and seek" and an altered version of Marco Polo using dodgeballs! I wish the boys could have taken more time to acknowledge the whole situation and reached out in some way to Gustavo instead of scaring him away with a ghost. That would have been some nice relationship development.

[winxanity-ii]

⌜No Hoods Attached | Chapter 22 Chapter 22 | imposter syndrome⌟

╰ ⌞🇨‌🇭‌🇦‌🇵‌🇹‌🇪‌🇷‌ 🇮‌🇳‌🇩‌🇪‌🇽‌⌝

❘ prev. chapter ❘༻✦༺❘ next chapter ❘

Weeks had passed since the strategy meeting, and the carefully planted breadcrumbs of your existence within the BTS ecosystem had flourished into a full-blown narrative captivating the fandom.

Clips of you singing alongside Jungkook, crafting beats with Yoongi, and being the spirited cheerleader during Hoseok and Jimin's dance practices had subtly woven your presence into the fabric of HYBE's artistic community. But among these snippets, the ones featuring you and Taehyung, collaborating on his new song, resonated most deeply with fans, sparking curiosity and anticipation.

In a private meeting with Shihyuk, the ambiance was heavy with anticipation and underlying excitement. As you sat across from him, he laid out the plan that had been set into motion due to the positive feedback your hidden presence had garnered within the BTS ecosystem.

"Seeing the response we've received," Shihyuk began, his voice steady but imbued with a hint of enthusiasm, "we've decided it's time for you to step into the limelight."

He explained that your official unveiling was scheduled at the upcoming actor award ceremony. You and Taehyung were slated to perform the OST live, capitalizing on the buzz surrounding one of the main leads from the drama who was nominated for a prestigious award.

The news landed like a thunderclap, sending a rush of contrasting emotions through you. Pride swelled within your chest at the recognition and validation of your contributions. Yet, alongside it, nerves began to dance wildly, intertwining with spikes of anxiety and tendrils of fear.

However, amidst the storm of feelings, a bright beam of happiness shone through, a testament to the journey you had embarked on and the new chapter that was about to begin.

You nodded, taking a deep breath, the reality of the situation sinking in. "Thank you," you managed to say, your voice a mix of gratitude and determination, "I'll be ready."

As you left the meeting, the weight of the forthcoming revelation settled on your shoulders, a blend of daunting responsibility and exhilarating opportunity. With thoughts of possibly venting to your father swirling in your mind, you returned to the apartment. However, the scene that greeted you was far from what you expected.

There, in what should have been a quiet living room, was your father, deep in conversation with Seora, both engrossed in the drama unfolding on the television screen.

As you step closer, the context of their discussion becomes clearer. They're watching a particularly intense episode of the Bad Girls Club, a scene charged with conflict and confrontation. Your father, ever the inquisitive one, is trying to grasp the nuances of reality TV drama.

"So that girl, Stacy—" he begins, attempting to piece together the storyline.

"Stasi," Seora corrects him without taking her eyes off the screen.

"Yes, Stasi. She's beating up the other girl because she poured out her bleach?" he continues, trying to understand the gravity of the situation.

"Yup," Seora confirms, just as invested in the episode. "And also because Shelly put nail polish remover in her contact solution." 

"What?!" Your father's voice was a mix of shock and disbelief, clearly appalled by the revelation.

"I know, right?!" Seora responds, sharing in the astonishment.

The absurdity of the situation, your father—a man of logic and reason—trying to make sense of reality TV antics, brings a smile to your face, a brief respite from the storm of your own reality. Clearing your throat to announce your presence, you catch your father's attention, who immediately lights up, his smile beaming as he rises to greet you with a warm, enveloping hug.

"Hey there, kiddo!" he exclaims, his joy evident. "Didn't expect to see me, did you?"

Your smile meets his, though it carries a hint of tension you can't quite mask. "No, I didn't. What brings you here?" you inquire, genuinely curious and slightly relieved to see a familiar face amidst the whirlwind of recent events.

"Just wanted to check in on you," he responds, releasing you from the hug but keeping his hands on your shoulders, his gaze searching yours for any hidden troubles.

You let out a deep breath, the weight of your impending public debut pressing down on you. "I'm alright," you say, forcing a smile onto your face.

Seora, sensing the shift in the room's dynamic, pops up from her seat with a comedic flair. "Sorry, guys, I gotta go. My Sims are probably setting the house on fire without my supervision," she declares dramatically, exiting the room with a wink and leaving you and your father alone.

With a soft chuckle at Seora's antics, your father turns back to you, his expression growing more serious. "You sure everything alright? You seem... preoccupied."

Sitting beside your father on the couch, you finally take the opportunity to confide in him. "Shihyuk-nim wants me to officially reveal myself as YaNi at the upcoming actor award ceremony."

Your father's eyes light up. "That's wonderful, sweetheart!" he exclaims, but the joy in his eyes dims slightly as he notices the lack of enthusiasm in yours.

He leans in, his voice gentle yet probing. "But you don't seem thrilled. How do you feel about it?"

"I— I'm nervous... but also kind of excited? It's all happening so fast."

"It's okay to feel overwhelmed. But remember, this is a moment you've worked hard for." "I know, I know, I know. It's just... I feel like I don't deserve this. It should've been Yuuji in the spotlight, not me. I'm just... riding on his legacy, pretending to be something I'm not. I feel like a fraud."

Your father listens intently, his presence a steady anchor in the tumult of your emotions. When you're done, he places a comforting hand on your shoulder. "Y/N, you're not a fraud. You've earned this moment with your talent and hard work. Yuuji would have been proud of you, not because you're continuing his legacy, but because you're building your own," he reassures you, giving your shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

"But I'm scared," you admit, the vulnerability in your voice stark and raw.

He nods, understandingly. "It's okay to be scared. It means you care deeply. But remember, you're not alone in this. We're all here for you, supporting you every step of the way."

Your father's words resonate deeply, and he adds, "And remember, you're not here pretending to be something you're not. You're just showing them another side of who you are. And if you ever find that this isn't the path you want to continue on, you can always come home. You're not locked into this. Do what feels right for you."

His words, sincere and heartfelt, begin to mend the cracks in your self-esteem, unleashing a flood of emotions; you find yourself wrapped in his embrace, tears streaming down your face. He holds you close, gently rocking side to side, a soothing rhythm that calms your turbulent thoughts.

"T-Thank you, Dad," you manage to say between sobs.

"Always." He tightens his hug, whispering, "I want you to understand that I'm so proud of you, Y/N. And I know your mother and Yuuji are, too. They're watching over you, cheering you on."

Feeling the weight of his words and the warmth of his support, you cling to him, the fear and uncertainty beginning to ebb away. In this moment of vulnerability, you find strength in his unwavering belief in you, a belief that bolsters your resolve to face the challenges ahead with a brave heart and an open mind.

☆

☆

Later, nestled in the comfort of your bed, you find yourself aimlessly scrolling through TikTok, seeking a distraction from the whirlwind of emotions. Amid the endless stream of content, you stumble upon a series of BTS edits. One particular edit catches your eye—it's a viral compilation featuring fanarts of Taehyung. In the video, he's paired with various masked girls, a stand-in for the enigmatic 'YaNi' whose face remains a mystery to the world. Apparently, it's been a popular movement amongst fans to outright deny Alex of being YaNi.

The edit is skillfully stitched with the hauntingly beautiful strains of "Echoes of Eternity," the song that has inadvertently become the soundtrack of your unfolding saga.

As you watch, the scenes transition smoothly, each snippet featuring Taehyung and the masked girls in various staged interactions—him laughing, talking, or working in the studio—all underscored by the emotive melody of the song you both brought to life.

The comments section below the video is a buzzing hive of activity, a testament to the song's impact and the curiosity it has sparked. Fans are actively shipping 'YaNi' and Taehyung, not out of knowledge of your real interactions but because they are enchanted by the way your voices intertwine, creating a harmony that feels both profound and predestined.

Some comments venture further, weaving theories around the iconic red hoodie, speculating its significance, and pondering if it's a secret thread connecting you and Taehyung. They hypothesize, wonder if the hoodie was a token from Taehyung, a clue to a secret romance woven into the fabric of your collaborative artistry.

As you read through these comments, a myriad of emotions washes over you. There's a sense of surrealism, seeing how deeply fans are engaged with the narrative you're a part of; the idea that fans are connecting dots from months ago, piecing together a love story from mere fragments of public appearances and music, is both astonishing and slightly unnerving.

With a gentle shake of your head, you quickly turn off your phone, trying to distance yourself from the burgeoning fantasies of the fans.

The notion that you and Taehyung could be perceived as a potential couple based on artistic collaboration and a shared hoodie is a testament to the fans' creativity and passion. But it also serves as a reminder of the blurred lines between public perception and personal reality in the world of entertainment.

Lying back, you stare at the ceiling, the phone's screen now dark, mirroring the quiet of the room. The fans' enthusiasm and the narratives they craft are a double-edged sword—heartwarming in their engagement yet daunting in their expectations. As you drift closer to the edge of sleep, the thought lingers: What will happen when the world finally sees you, the person behind 'YaNi'? Will they see the artist, or will they search for the character they've imagined in their theories and ships?

Despite the uncertainty of what lies ahead, there's a burgeoning sense of anticipation, because maybe, just maybe, this whole YaNi persona wouldn't be so bad after all.

The thought brought another smile, wider this time, as you drifted off to sleep, the soft melody of "Echoes of Eternity" playing on a loop in your dreams.

***YaNi! YaNi! YaNi!

[goldenkamuyhunting]

to "anonymous" March 16. Noda has denied himself many times. Ogata's own storyline was debunked and ignored so much that all doubts and "mysteries" of his character were abandoned by leaving him to die. ultimately Golden Kamuy ends up with Sugimoto and Asirpa staying together. and this is a fact that he can deny as much as he wants but it's there

Sorry for the late reply.

Should I warn people this reply isn't a 'Noda praising feast' or it's obvious enough? Whatever.

At this point I'm not really sure what went on with Noda and GK.

Very early in GK we've Huci asking Sugimoto to marry Asirpa.

Noda though, said, until the end, that Asirpa wasn't meant to be seen in a sexual way, because she's young and because he's uncomfortable when women are seen like that...

Noda: I wanted to make absolutely sure that Asirpa would not be seen in a sexual way, by either the readers or the other characters. There’s a lot of perverts in the story, to be sure, but I didn’t want her to sway in that direction. Her being a young girl is part of it, but I was always uncomfortable with women being shown explicitly sexualized to begin with. [Noda Satoru’s interview with Asahi Shinbun, translation courtesy of @piduai]

...and that she had a crush on Sugimoto, but that their relationship wasn't romantic.

Q: The relationship between Sugimoto and Asirpa could only be described as “partners”, with no romantic elements, until the end. Did you plan to keep it like that since the very beginning, or was it a natural development?

Noda: I decided from the very beginning that I would not show Sugimoto and Asirpa as romantically involved in the end. Asirpa’s crush felt natural for the character so I included it, and since it was related to the later events, it was part of my calculations. [Noda’s interview for Yomiuri online paper translation courtesy of @piduai]

However he deliberately set the relationship between Umeko and Sugimoto to fail right from the start so that Sugimoto could stay in Hokkaido with Asirpa.

Noda: If Umeko had not remarried and her eyes weren’t healed, the story would have needed a few more chapters, which, considering that it was post-climax, would have made it drag on needlessly. The reason for that is Toraji told Sugimoto to get together with Umeko before dying, and he is not the kind of guy who could have ignored that and return to Hokkaido with Asirpa. Besides, Umeko remarrying has been hinted towards at a few points throughout the story, so it was a foregone conclusion. [Noda’s interview for Yomiuri online paper translation courtesy of @piduai]

Where all this lead us to?

Well, clearly as far as Noda is involved, he believes he ended up GK with Sugimoto and Asirpa not being together in a romantic situation.

Asirpa, after all, should be around 16 when the final chapter takes place and, even if back then she was considered of marriageable age (and, if I'm not wrong, girls of 16 can marry in Japan if they parents allow it), she's still awfully young.

However they don't have a father/daughter relation, Noda himself describes them as 'partners' (相棒 'Aibō').

The volume version includes a scene in which Sugimoto admits to himself he previously was never able to truly acknowledge Asirpa as such but now that she has (attempted) to kill Ogata, he believes she's the one who will fall with him in hell (it's a tentative translation, I'll have to wait till June for the official translation in my country as Vol 30 was just released and for much, much longer to check the English translation) which seems to imply he finally sees her as his partner.

So now of course a part of the fandom can speculate that, although Sugimoto has such a close bond with Asirpa and she has a crush on him that lead her to go so far for him, she'll always be friendzoned to him. I personally hope so.

However many of us come from years of seeing manga/anime set up those situations to imply that, ultimately, the two people involved will become romantic partners in the future, which is why a part of the fandom feels like we got a SugiRipa ending, regardless of the two not being yet in a romantic relation. We feel like it's just the next step, the one that's not shown but that we're meant to figure on our own. From what I know, many didn't like this implication, many wanted Noda to just deny any possible implication Sugimoto might end with Asirpa, which could have been conveniently done if Sugimoto were to remain with Umeko... or were to marry Umeko and then move to Hokkaido with her.

Actually, even leaving Shiraishi to live with them would have helped to give more the impression they were a group of friends than showing them together, going back to Huci's home.

So who says the ending isn't a SugiRipa one isn't technically wrong, as the two aren't together... but who feels the ending is a SugiRipa one isn't wrong either, because the ending seems to hint that's how the characters will end in the future and Noda is old enough to know that's how it would be perceived as he too should have seen plenty of such implications in other stories.

As who read this blog knows, I hated the idea the story could end pairing them up from day one. I hate the implication this could be their future even if, by then, Asirpa will be older.

So I'm not happy with the ending, not even when Noda says they aren't together right then, because that's not where that ending seems to lead.

I won't even go into how unhappy I am with the handling of Ogata, or of Koito, Tsukishima, Tanigaki, Tsurumi and so on because I've already discussed way too much about it.

Which is what had lead me to pull out of the GK world. I still have lovely memories of the first 2/3 of the story and I like to talk about some parts of it but... that's it.

So if you also are displeased with how he was handled, I fear we're on the same boat.

Said so, I'm happy for who's instead happy with how the story was handled. At each it's own, I guess, just let's respect people's views on it and remember everyone if you see something you don't like the back button and block button are your friends.

[air--so--sweet]

How to Speedrun Bury Your Gays aka That Time Legion Killed All Its Queer Characters In 20 Minutes

Well, 20 minutes 30 seconds to be exact...

First up at the episode's beginning, we have Daniel, who doesn't actually die, but I'd argue having your memory erased with no possibility of regaining it is comparable to death.

But hey he was a two dimensional character who existed solely to have effects on his husband, Clark's, storylines, firstly to humanise him when Daniel was introduced in Chapter 8 and then to add weight to Clark and David's exchange in this episode, Chapter 24. Oh and he also appeared in chapter 20 to remind us he existed since he hadn't been seen or spoken about once since he first appeared. So, not a great loss, right? I didn't even know his name, I had to google it for this post. Not a big deal when he was practically created to die...wait...

So at the 3 minutes 48 seconds mark our first gay has been buried. Record time and we've barely broken a sweat.

Next up we have Lenny and this one is trickier. She's a more developed character with her own agency and who has purpose beyond being a glorified prop. That purpose has been a bit harder to nail down this season but she had some growth in the last episode, choosing to feel the loss of her daughter rather than let David take the pain away or suppressing it with drugs (which feels like it would have been her MO pre David). It also seems she's reached her limit and is no longer willing to blindly follow David and allow him to- oh no, never mind, she's stabbed herself in the neck. I guess it kind of fits with her motivations, since she states to David that he can't have her, prior to stabbing herself. Would it have been more interesting and satisfying narratively if she chose to work with Division 3 to take David down instead? Or decided to try get revenge on Farouk for what he did to her on her own terms, which would also have the benefit of at someone finally trying to hold Farouk accountable for the monstrous things he did? Or even just have Lenny decide she doesn't have a horse in this race since she was drafted against her will and she's going to ride of into the sunset to do her own thing? (this is one hell of a mixed metaphor, I impress myself) Sure...but here she gets to have her last words be a call back to a memory she shared with David...except actually that was a false memory altered by Farouk to hide his presence in David's mind and he and Lenny never had a 'Why is it blue?' exchange in real life nor did she witness said false memory. Love the writer's cared enough about her arc to remember this accurately. And so dies maybe the best role Aubrey Plaza has ever had.

We've now hit the 10:42 mark so slowing down but still keeping a decent pace (sidenote: I remembered Lenny's girlfriend Salmon when writing this, a character who was maybe even less developed than Daniel, and wondered what happened her. We saw her giving birth in the previous episode and then she wasn't present for the rest of her daughter's abridged life courtesy of the time eaters which...actually implies she died in childbirth which is incredibly grim...I don't think it was an intentional implication but it's there nonetheless).

And last, but certainly not least we have Mr Clark DeBussy. Did I know his surname without googling it? Absolutely not. Have the writers ever figured out how to use his character post season one? Absolutely not. Though I did enjoy his one girl talk scene over tea with Syd.

To be fair, I do quite enjoy the scene leading up to his death. While a manufactured scenario, the home movies he's watching of his husband and son do add a melancholy to this scene and I love the visual when he turns to face David that leads to those images being projected onto his face. Teamed with his resigned yet angry delivery of 'I should have killed you the first time we met', David's sad smile as he agrees and Jeff Russo's always beautiful score it is just perfect. And then Clark is grabbed by one of David's cult members and thrown out the air lock and, as we hit 20 minutes and 30 seconds, our final gay is buried...well floating in the depths of space but same thing. There's excellent use of the family video projections again as they briefly overlay the scene of his expulsion from the airship and...it's just occurred to me since going to space in no way impeded David's attack, and Farouk could have gotten pissy with Division 3 for being cowards even if they hadn't started orbiting the earth....did we go to space just for this visual The style over substance of Legion is an ongoing issue but this time I might just accept it, it's a lovely shot.

And thus ends Legion's queer cast's run. There is a further 21 minutes and 40 seconds in this episode in which Syd loses her mind and Kerry looked like she was about to lose a fight and I thought 'Okay actually this is just an episode where characters are going to die, it's coincidence the first three were gay' but then Kerry actually survived and, after a brief second childhood in the astral plane with Melanie and Oliver, Syd gets her mind back...so actually the only people who stayed dead/memory wiped were queer.

I don't know how to to end this. Maybe with the advise to write decent queer representation and don't bury them or at least not all in one fell swoop only taking up half an episode? I wrote a joke about Clark's son not having a name but googled it to doublecheck and he does...it's Buster...Buster DeBussy...Clark was underdeveloped but I refuse to believe he would give his child a name tha sounds like a side character in a video game. He was better than that

[what-do-1000-swords-look-like]

So, I finally caught up on the past two cons for the most part.

As a writer, Dean's death will never not be tragic to me, in the worst way.

We can talk about bad messaging. We can talk about the ridiculous way it happened (rusty nail, anyone?). We can talk about COVID and how that impacted everything they decided to do behind the scenes.

But ultimately, it was not the right way for Dean to go out. I respect Jensen's opinion, feelings, and eventual acceptance on the matter (obviously) but there's some things that are missing here that aren't being talked about. By him, anyone else involved with the show, or even the fandom.

Dean didn't die a hero's death or a warrior's death as Jensen called it. A hero's death is when there is some form of self-sacrifice involved. There was none of that happening in that scene. Had Dean pushed one of the kids out of the way and then was impaled, or pushed Sam out of the way even, then it could be considered a hero's death. Even if there was no one to push out of the way, had Dean gone up against the Big Bad, dying in the process, again -- sacrifice. But that didn't happen either. No, instead, he is sacrificed in the story line (to set up Sam's endgame), sent to drive around Heaven for 40 years, and his agency is taken away from him. Had he truly been a side character all along, then obviously this wouldn't even be an issue. But he wasn't; he's been a main character since at least season 4 of the show or even earlier. The show may have started out with Sam as the sole protagonist but it had evolved by the time season 4 rolled around and Dean had been made one as well.

Dean only regains agency in that one scene in The Winchesters (1x13) when his primary motivation (Sam) is given back to him through the exposition he does in the scene with The Winchesters' characters, Bobby, and Jack.

Your hero (like I said, this includes Sam as well) is not supposed to lose their agency. That's the whole point. They're always given a choice even when their circumstances might not be of their own choosing. Think Jon Snow. Think Aragorn and Frodo. Think Iron Man. Even Buffy Summers or the Halliwell sisters. Maverick in the second Top Gun movie, sacrificing himself to save Rooster and then (not to spoil for those who may have not seen the movie yet) we see what happens. But the point is, he made that choice. Rooster made his choice. The two main characters of the film. The hero is always given the choice.

If this had happened when facing off with Chuck, even then it still might have been better. Chuck was the final Big Bad; you don't get higher than God in this fictional world, right? Again, that would have been a warrior's death.

And that doesn't even begin to address that this was not where Dean and Sam's stories were leading in the narrative. I know we've all talked about the "two finales" that 15x19 and 15x20 were respectively, but I do wish they had left it open-ended like they did in 15x19. That not only would have made more sense for their arcs over the past ten plus years but it also would have allowed (again, narratively) for a proper reboot/continuation/revival down the road. I am interested to see how the idea Jared talked about would come about and I'm sure they'll make it work, but seriously (and I mean no disrespect to Jensen, Jared, or the crew who worked hard on the episode) that whole ending was a disaster that just didn't need to happen. Both boys died to keep the parallel going but them being alive and on the open road would have kept that parallel between them going as well.

Dean already had a beautiful death monologue in 9x23 to Sam. While Jensen and Jared gave their all in that scene and I fully acknowledge that and appreciate it, I do wish we hadn't gotten that dialogue in the barn scene. It has nothing to do with ship wars or fandom drama -- it has to do with the character development for both boys being nuked solely by the dialogue in the five minutes it took for Dean to die. It literally undid every single thing that happened since 1x01 for each brother and everything they had been through. While I'm all for the beautiful brotherly moments (and Jensen and Jared acted the crap out of that scene), this just felt so completely wrong. I don't care about the forehead touch or the hand holding or anything else. All of it was fine except for that dialogue that mentions John, Stanford, etc. Just completely nuking 15 years, all to bring it back to the pilot. But instead of it being a beautiful tribute to their beginning while also showcasing their development and their journey, they brought it right back to that moment instead, in a way that just makes you scratch your head and go "what?" It reminds me a lot of Daenerys' death scene monologue actually - completely nuked character development and conflicting messages to the audience.

Like I said, I completely respect Jensen's (and Jared's) opinion on the 15x20 death and if Jensen eventually got to a place where he's at peace with it and that's how he views the scene (a warrior's death), then I'm happy for him. But writing wise, the way the show chose to go about it didn't make sense. And that includes Sam's ending as well. Sam may have honored his brother's wishes to live his life peacefully, that's great and true of their brotherly bond and to Dean's character, but showing Sam in the party city wig breaking down crying in the Impala years down the road was not it.

Sure, he missed his brother and there's nothing wrong with showing that, but again conflicting messages in the writing. He left Dean and hunting behind in the bunker and moved on with his life (the whole significance of him sitting in Dean's room and shutting down the bunker btw), marrying and having a family. He even had Dean 2.0 as his son, a part of Dean living on and Sam honoring his memory. So why the breakdown scene?

15x20 will always be a sticky point with me when it comes to the series as a whole. Like Jensen said once upon a time, those who like it and those who have issues with it are both valid. But me, I tend to lean towards the latter camp though I don't completely hate it. It's still part of our boys' story. I just wish they had decided to go about it a different way or at the very least, make some tweaks to make it make more sense in the end while staying true to the characters and everything they had endured for 15 years.

[puppy-phum]

So I thought maybe Taylor Swift’s red with PuenTaylay since their colors are blue lol. Idk. I honestly can’t think of a good quote. If you think of one and tag me that works too 😂 I just want to see JimmySea on my dash again 😍 I miss them already

hello deanna ♥

i am somehow so very grateful for this prompt :'D it was delightfully vague despite being so straight to the point, and this is why i decided to both follow it and not follow it at all.

here's the result

everyone keeps telling me puentalay are taylor swift coded but i've never really listened to taylor swift that much (i don't really count the radio hits i was subjected to throughout my life). so this was my excuse to finally get into her music! mostly through jessi's @patprans amazing vv edit from a while ago. i went through that whole list of songs in it and i have to say it was a journey.

from it, this love stuck with me the hardest. tbh i cry with it now if i listen to it bc it feels so right for these two. so thank you to you both for opening my eyes, i suppose XD not that i ever really was against any of this, i just didn't have the right motivator before. now i had that and the time. it was fun ♥

and don't worry, i also looked into red! i do know that song haha, i haven't grown up under a rock after all. but i had to look at the lyrics properly and i do get where you're coming from with this prompt. i can feel puentalay there, especially bc of the colors. which i wanted to hold onto even when i abandoned the song itself!

so there's blue, as their beginning and ending. there's black and gray for the missing part, for the loss and grief and longing. and then there's red towards the end for the love! which. truly if loving puen is red am going insane for a little bit. we have had the convos about puen and red, am not digging into that again.

i just hope you like this! and thank you so much for joining in and always talking with me even when our tastes are very different ^^ i appreciate it a lot! have a wonderful rest of your week ♥

(some more rambles under the cut!)

i really love the way this song starts and how it seems to tell the whole puentalay journey in just, what is that, one verse? well, you know. in just a few lines we've come from their starting point to the inevitable tragedy of them having to separate, and then we've come to their reunion and persevering love.

so the edit tries to interpret all that. the first pic is about the water (which i've been thinking about so much and am going insane about it currently, there's so much Water!!), about how talay gets swept into this other universe and how he finds puen. which. i hope you get it that this is also about that glass house scene in ep 4 where talay runs through the rain to get to puen again. that's important. that's puen's tide - that rain.

and then there's a bit of fluff there. about the things they could go on and on about. about these moments where they find each other. about these moments where they... idk. are just lovely and in love. i wanted to show that.

bc i needed that before we hit the angst town! skies grow darker? currents come and sweep you away again? yeah, so true. puentalay literally just get together and then they're fighting which leads them to the secret island. which then, kind of, steals puen from talay a bit later. I tried to show all that too.

and then it's just. episode 11 part 1/4 heartbreak hours. that part is legendary and i love the angst so much even if watching it feels every time like someone is trying to carve my heart out with a plastic knife. but this line in the lyrics!!! it was just so perfect. gosh. (paired with the "and this love came back to me" like CMON i could make another edit only for that)

this then leads to the pink and the red. bc next we see what they had, what good things they got. the "silent screams" are, for me, about talay. about how he's saying he doesn't do love, doesn't really think about it, but still ends up seeking it. and idk, the dusty heart thing always gets to me. that's kind of his silent scream; talking about the love he does not want to the guy who wants nothing else but them to fall in love. how ironic.

puen got the "wildest dreams" then bc damn, that man has so many Wild Dreams. i didn't want to include the popcorn eating in this bc that would've made this edit cracky imo, so there's now just puen intensely staring at talay. this man is up to no good. his fantasies are horrible yet so, so cute. am so happy he actually got to finally live his popcorn fantasy XD what a doofus.

and then finally! all the things they never even dreamed about! aka everything in the our skyy eps. all of that was so good and domestic i bet they never thought they would have something like that. so that was for the last one. am kind of happy this took so long to make so i got those eps before this ♥ they're such a joy.

idk how much sense any of this makes bc it's 2am and my brain is fried but i just had to get all of this out. thank you once more for giving me this chance ^^ ♥

[reidsaurora]

"Back To You" ~ D. Morgan

GIF by racingairplanes

Summary: The team find themselves working a case in Chicago, near where Derek was raised. Unbeknownst to anyone else though, the missing victim just so happens to be Y/N, Derek's ex girlfriend.

Pairing: Derek Morgan x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 1,782

Content Warning: very mild swearing, mentions of rape, lowkey torture (?), mentions of guns/shooting, normal Criminal Minds themes

Genre: Angst to Fluff (mostly angst)

Extra Notes: none that i can think of

Based On the Prompt: "Hand over the girl." "Not going to happen."

Originally Written: 02/01/2022

Criminal Minds masterlist can be found here!

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

The BAU found themselves working on a case right outside Chicago, near Derek Morgan's hometown. Unbeknownst to Derek, the team had noticed him acting differently ever since they'd found out about a new missing person. Derek hadn't even noticed a change in his behavior, but everyone else had.

Hotch and Rossi were determined to figure out what was wrong with him though, so the two decided to sit him down and get to the bottom of things.

"Morgan, we need to know what's going on with you," Hotch stated point blankly.

"What?" Derek furrowed his brows. "Nothing is wrong with me, Hotch."

"Derek, your sudden change in attitude leads us to believe that you're taking this case personally. We just want to know why," Rossi spoke this time.

"Seriously, I'm fine. Nothing is wrong with me. I'm not taking this case any more personally than every other case I've worked on."

"Derek, you've made some strange decisions since we've arrived here. Some out of the ordinary decisions."

"Like what, Hotch? Putting too much sugar in my coffee? It's not anything Reid hasn't done."

Rossi then brought up, "Well, for one, you leaped at the opportunity to talk to the missing girl's family. Now, normally, you would've been all over the crime scene. You would've left JJ or Emily to talk to the family. But this case has been different for you."

"In fact, your expression seems to change every time we mention the missing girl. You seem to be extra worried for her."

"Hotch, she could be dead right now and you're worried about how concerned I am for her wellbeing?" Derek scoffed.

"We just want the truth," Rossi asked.

Derek sighed as he ran his hand over his freshly shaved head. Finally, he admitted, "She was my girlfriend during my days as a cop."

"Why didn't you tell us that to begin with?" Hotch questioned.

"Maybe because I didn't want to get taken off the case for being too attached. Y/N's a good girl. She would've never done something to deserve this. I just want to make sure she makes it home OK, regardless of if we dated or not."

"Then, let's do just that," Rossi stated, leading the three back out to the area where everyone else was working.

☆☆☆

Meanwhile, Y/N found herself with her wrists tied together in some sort of cell. There were no windows, just the bars in front of her that she could barely see out of. The only things other than her in the tiny room were a cot to sleep on (if she could maneuver herself over to it) and a bucket, which she presumed would be her bathroom for the next… however long she'd be in there.

"What do you want from me?!" she screamed out, banging her hands on the floor.

On the other side of the bars was a piece of glass, not see-through glass though, the type of glass that was blurry and you could only faintly tell what was on the other side. It was then that a figure appeared in front of the glass, just standing there, watching her.

"Do you like watching me suffer, you douchebag?! Huh, is that what this is about?!" Y/N cried out, tears violently falling from her eyes.

"If you would've only sat still, you wouldn't be in this mess," spoke a condescending voice over a loudspeaker.

Y/N knew who her captor was now, someone she'd believed she'd never see again. Someone who was supposed to be locked up, locked away from society.

☆☆☆

"Derek, can you think of anyone who'd want to do something like this to Y/N?" Emily asked as she continued to comb through the evidence box.

"Well, there is this one guy. He's been sitting in the back of my brain the entire case, but he's supposed to be locked away," Derek answered.

"Who is it?" she pressed. "Maybe Garcia can check to see if he's been paroled recently."

"Name's Brody Griffin. She said he was an ex and that he was constantly trying to get her in bed, even when she'd said she didn't feel comfortable. She said he got arrested about a month before we met."

Immediately, Emily grabbed her phone from her pocket, dialing Garcia's number and putting her on speaker phone.

"Penelope Garcia, bestest and brightest tech analyst of all tech analysts. How may I be of service?"

"Garcia, we need you to search for a guy named Brody Griffin. He'd be somewhere in a prison near Chicago or recently paroled from one," Emily explained.

"On it, sugar," Penelope replied. After a moment of silence, Penelope said, "OK, I've got a Brody James Griffin who was in a state prison for raping three women and for the attempted rape of… Oh," her voice trailed off.

"What? What is it, baby girl?" Derek joined in.

"It says he was initially arrested for the attempted rape of Y/N Y/L/N, the missing girl. Says she was able to escape and call 911 from a payphone outside a laundromat next to her apartment complex. Apparently he was officially released eight weeks ago on good behavior. If he even knew how to have good behavior," Garcia explained with an eye roll.

"When the kidnappings and rapes started," Derek added.

"Hey, Derek, did you notice how all the victims looked like Y/N? Same eye color, same skin tone. A couple of the girls even dressed like her," Emily observed.

"Explains why. She's the one that got away. He saved her for last because he knows we're closing in on him," Derek told Emily. To Penelope, he said, "Thanks, baby girl. I think we got our guy."

"Ciao, beautiful people," Garcia said before hanging up the phone.

☆☆☆

"Brody Griffin, you in there?" Y/N heard, but just barely. The loudspeaker was the only way she could clearly hear anything happening outside the cell.

"Who's asking?" Brody replied, sounding even more condescending than he had before, if that was even possible.

"Aaron Hotchner, FBI, that's who!" the voice from earlier yelled.

"You guys are gonna have to kill me to get to her."

"Then that's exactly what we'll do," a new voice, a familiar voice, spoke this time.

"Where do I know that voice?" Y/N wondered to herself.

"Hand over the girl, now, Brody!" the voice identified as Aaron Hotchner shouted.

"Not gonna happen." Y/N could almost hear a smirk in Brody's voice as he spoke.

For a split second, there was nothing but silence. No noise from anyone outside, no noise from Brody, and certainly no noise from Y/N. It was as if time had somehow stopped but was still somehow moving in slow motion.

"He's got a gun!" the second, unidentified voice yelled.

BOOM!

Y/N shrieked when she heard the shot being fired. She recalled her ears ringing for about a minute after the gun went off. She didn't know if it was one of the FBI's guns or Brody's, but she was happy that no more guns went off after the first one.

Once the ringing in her ears finally started to calm down, she recalled hearing someone break through the glass. She knew the glass was a sliding door, but only Brody knew where the key was.

"Y/N, we're gonna get you outta here," the familiar voice said as he attempted to cut through the bars with some sort of loud saw. When she turned her head, she finally realized where she knew the voice from. Derek Morgan, the man she'd fallen in love with all those years ago.

"Derek?" she asked weakly, turning her head to face him as best she could.

Once he finally cut a hole in the bars big enough to fit through, he turned off the saw and ran over to Y/N. "Hey, I'm gonna get you out of here, OK?"

She simply nodded in response, leaning into his warmth as he carried her out of the cell she'd been stuck in for the past 36 hours.

☆☆☆

"How are you holding up?" Derek asked as entered the cubicle Y/N was currently sitting in at the emergency room.

"I think I'm gonna be OK. Physically, anyway," she answered with an eye roll to follow.

"I understand. There's a strong chance you'll need therapy now to help you cope with everything that happened. Just know that it's OK to talk to someone about all this," he told her, sitting down in the seat beside her bed.

"Hey, thank you."

"Don't thank me. For one, it's all part of my job. For two, he should've been locked away the last time I was here."

"Well, at least one thing's for certain. I'll sleep a lot better tonight knowing he's not on the streets."

The room stayed silent for a moment, a comfortable kind of silent. She wasn't sure why, but she had the sudden urge to hold his hand in the middle of the silence.

"You know, I'm not happy in any sense of the word that this is how I had to come back here, but I am glad this case brought me back to you," Derek spoke after a moment.

"Me too," Y/N smiled, finally reaching over for Derek's hand. She rubbed her thumb over his hand, taking in the feeling of every square inch of skin she touched.

Derek leaned over and pressed a soft kiss against her cheek, something Y/N didn't realize she'd missed so much during the years following their breakup.

Y/N couldn't lie, she regretted breaking up with Derek all those years ago. She knew it was mostly fueled by the information she'd received at the time on Derek joining the FBI. She hated the feeling of holding him back, but now she realized she loved him so much, she wished she hadn't let him go.

"I'm gonna head back out. I've got some stuff I have to finish at the station," Derek explained with a saddened expression. Y/N didn't know it, but Derek missed her every bit as much (if not more) as she missed him.

"OK," Y/N replied softly.

Derek stood up to leave, but was hesitant. Like he was looking for a reason not to leave.

After a moment, he finally spoke one last time. "Hey, I know this is probably a bad time, but once you're outta here and feeling OK, do you maybe wanna get some dinner together?"

Y/N smiled, now realizing just how glad she was that they'd found their way back to each other.. "I'd like that a lot."

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

So... I wasn't really planning on setting this one up like this, but I do wanna know if you guys are interested in a part two!! I feel like I could easily write a part two, I just wanna know if you guys are interested in it! So lmk what you think!!

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

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↳ TAGLIST: @drayshadow

☆𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐏𝐄𝐎𝐏𝐋𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒☆

[taeyamayang]

HQ BOYS AND SENSITIVE SPOTS FOR KISSES

part 2

part 1 focuses on the boys receiving a kiss from their s/o whereas part 2 focuses on the vice versa.

PAIRING: Miya Osamu x reader | Azumane Asahi x reader | Suna Rintarou x reader | Tendou Satori x reader

GENRE: fluff! | romance | intimacy | established relationship | AGED UP

WARNING: none? unless you're uncomfortable with intimacy

a/n: an impulsive idea just like part 1 hehe i hope enjoy reading as much as i enjoyed writing it (ﾉ´ з `)ノ

Miya Osamu ㅡ inner thighs

ive always had this idea that osamu fits the domestic boyfriend persona

like if he has to choose between hanging out with common friends like double dates vs cuddling next to you all day as you both binge watch netflix shows

i hc him choosing the latter

and that's exactly the case right now

as raindrops tap against the window of your shared apartment and the sky is painted in gravel-grey

both you and osamu decided to stay in for the day

and watch a rom-com movie at your living room

he has his head laid on your lap with his body spreaded across the expanse of the sofa

while you play with his hair, gently brushing your fingers through the strands as you both fixate your eyes at the flashing television screen

he slowly turns his head to the side making you feel the warmth of his breath against your skin as the the two leads of the movie exchange romantic dialogues

just as you are about to be immersed at scene, you feel a wet kiss on your thigh

you pull your gaze away from the tv and your hand, that was once busy with his hair, instantly stops

osamu slightly pushes himself up using his elbow to allow just enough space for him to move his head

he begins trailing kisses from the middle of your inner thighs down to the point near your knees

"osamu," his name rolls out of your mouth.

"hm?" he hums in question, briefly turning his head to face you

and when he sees your face tinted in deep crimson, he takes this as a cue for him to plant one more kiss

he's visibly proud of the effect he has on you

"i love you," he mumbles before laying down his head back to your lap thereafter focusing his attention back to the movie

you, on the other hand, is caught in daze

Azumane Asahi ㅡ tip of the nose

it sucks that you and asahi have different universities to attend to

but you're lucky enough to have a lover that cares for you even if distance prevails

so nothing excites you more than looking forward to when the clock hits four and twelve

cause it only means one thing,

you finally get to see asahi

and when it's finally time

you rush to the gates of your uni and immediately spots a towering man with long hair tied in a bun, his one hand grasped on the strap of the messenger bag hung over his one shoulder

you run to him, shouting his name at a distance, with a smile so wide he could see the molars of your teeth

he welcomes you with his arms raised up waiting for you to collide

and when you do, he wraps his limbs around you into a tight embrace akin to a bear hug before gently lifting you up

after a few seconds of hug, he pushes you at an arm length

both of his hands automatically finds its way to your cheeks

he tilts your head up

ngl cos he's too damn tall

before his lips peck on the tip of your nose

a giggle escapes your mouth making him mirror your giddy smile

his eyes rally from your nose to your lips and you already know what's about to happen

he asks,

"can i kiss you?" his orbs never leaving your lips

your giggle turns into a laugh upon hearing his consent, you utter

"baby, we've been dating for five years. of course, you can do that!"

the smile grew on his face and the tone of his voice drops lower

"good, 'cause i missed you."

Suna Rintarou ㅡ chest

it's the busiest time of the year for suna and his ever demanding job, so he texted you right off the bat that he will be home later than expected

since you wanted to do something nice for him when he gets home

you decided to cook for him

dinner is the only meal you both share for the entire day since both of you are occupied by your respective careers

after a couple of hours or so, with you wrapping up the final seasonings of the side dishes, the main door to your apartment opens to a zombie-looking suna

"hey, babe, how's work?" you ask though it's obvious how beat-up he looks

"tired." he grunts

his heavy feet takes him to the sofa, his knees unlocks as he lets the comfort of the furniture softly massage his muscles

the backrest of the sofa supports his head as he peers at you at the kitchen

"what are you doing?" he questions

"cooking a meal for you."

"no." he says making you turn your head to him

"huh?" you pull your eyebrows together in confusion

"you can continue with that later. come here, i need you."

he uses his hand to tap on his lap, the corner of his lips pulling upwards into a lazy smile

without thinking twice you make your way to him, standing in front of him for a moment before placing your knees at both sides of his hips

he likes it when you sit on top of him in this manner

well, it's obvious enough the smile on his face stretches

he dips his head at the space between your neck and shoulder

you can feel his nose slightly brushing against your collarbones

and without any warning, his one hand reaches for your nape, pulling you closer to him

he detaches his face from your neck before bringing his lips down to your chest at the spot below the center of your collarbones

you voice hitches when his other hand pulls the neck rim of your shirt down, exposing more of your skin to him

his other hand that was once cupping your nape leisurely travels down your spine, his action made you sit straight

he patterns out a trail of kisses down to your cleavage and stops when the outstretch of your shirt reaches its limit

he lays the side of his head next to your chest, fluttering his eyes close he takes a deep inhale

he mutters to himself,

"you smell like home."

Tendou Satori ㅡ eyes/eyelids

you are, once again, awake at an ungodly hour

you've always had trouble with sleeping or keeping a consistent sleeping schedule

so you are often left to your thoughts at the middle of the night

just like now

and once your thoughts no longer entertain you, you shift your attention to the man lying next to you

his bare shoulder is facing you as he sleeps on the other side of the bed

he finds comfort in sleeping with no top on

and being cheeky that you are, you take the man lying next to you to your advantage

you bring your finger near his back before dragging it down to his spine

a satisfied smirk plays on your lips

not until the apple of your eye shifts his body when he senses your touch

he rolls to the other side, facing you

he blinks twice before squinting his eyes

he presses his eyebrows together as his pupils adjust to the dimmed lights of the room

"nightmare?" his voice hoarse from sleep

you almost feel bad for waking him up

"no, i can't sleep." you respond

a light groan echoes from his mouth, he stretches one arm out before tapping on it

you gladly scoot next to him, lying your head on his biceps. he folds his arm so you can be closer to him

his other hand gently hovers your face, the tip of his fingers grazing over your eyelids making you shut your eyes on purpose

with the same hand, he places it on your cheek as his thumb caresses the crest of your cheekbone in a back and forth manner

his lips find its way to your shut eyelids, placing one kiss on one eye and the same to the other

"goodnight, angel."

he mumbles before slowly drifting back to sleep

a/n: HOLY FUCK I THINK I ENJOYED WRITING SUNA'S PART WAY TOO MUCH OHMYGOD WHAT IS THIS HELPPPP IM ABOUT TO COLLAPSE bye gsnshs i hope you enjoyed this one! rbs and likes are very much welcome ♡ stay safe and stay healthy~

Masterlist

[yoursinfulurges]

AntiHero

[The Venom Within] <- read part one here.

Description: The events that soon followed your emotional downfall turns dark and horrifying after Hydra gains possession of your freedom. 

1/2 of part 2

Warnings: Abuse. Kidnapping. Angst. 

Disclaimer: In this story' venom has no conscious and is simply just the readers alter, or the readers inner thoughts and insecurities. This takes place after civil war time. So Endgame and Infinity War never happens.

____________ 

You huffed inaudibly, hearing your stomach roar from starvation for the fifth time this minute. You had only gotten twelve blocks away from the tower, which was still very much visible when you turned back. Annoyingly so, you tried to avoid any peripheral contact with it, in fear of changing your mind and running straight back. 

Even trying your very hardest to block out any childhood memories spent there from coming back to you, as the last thing you needed was for more tears to be shed. You felt eerily deprived of sensation, and you didn't know if it was because of the cold New York air or the fact that you left a part of you behind back in that tower. The one capable of deciphering the many layers of the overwhelming apathy you ever so felt reside within you. 

The one able to comprehend and break down your other feelings that remained intacted, yet almost seemed brain dead. As if not computing the sitution that had happened moments ago, defying how your tense heart truly ached. Feeling as though you were just a walking body, an empty shell of the person that once was. You knew your inner subconscious was protecting you from added trauma, and was doing the best thing it could by preventing you from feeling the complexity of it all and only allowing minor details to slide. As said feelings would only send you into a spiralling depth of anxiety.

 And only god knows what would happened if your emotions alone suddenly decided it was time to have a panic attack at this very moment. Despite being greatful for the somewhat unorthodox coping mechanism that was forced upon you, you were at war with yourself. Almost angry that you couldn't process the overwhelming wave of sensations, having to submit to the black cold solitude of your mind till your brain finally decides to open up and evaluate just how badly the damage was to your mental health. 

But till that happens your soul was left to wonder and yield in confusion instead of settling on one dependent emotion.... 

You were conflicted to no doubt. 

You were angry yet, if tried hard enough and dug a bit deeper, pass the wall you built around your heart, you found yourself strangely at peace. Contradicting the forefront frustration you had with the profound perplexity of the situation, confusing you once more. As a part of you almost beams at the sudden calmness that over came you, in contrast to your outbursts merely an hour ago. 

Sure, you felt a myriad of miniscule emotions coincide you, tiny enough not to affect you in any way shape or form, or take away your apathetic structure, (thankfully so). And you knew that you were definitely far from okay as of right now, especially since you were somewhat going through an existential crisis. Yet in a funny defiant kind of way you were fine. It was as if your amygdala had froze, preventing you from registering everything that had happened. Forcing you to rerun the moments leading up to here in order to get to the bottom of what your true emotions and opinions were. 

You made it out of the tower unnoticed, given the fact that you dressed a lot more muted than you'd normally do. Nobody would think that it was Y/n Stark under the hood of one of Steve Rogers' old jacket. Your clothes weren't exactly ideal, but you were in no position to complain, you acted in a panic and grabbed whatever was on the way to the exit. 

That being Natasha's grey hoodie and Steve's oversized leather jacket. Both laid untouched, draped over the abandoned conference room chairs. You saw it the moment you stepped out the elevator, peering through the glass walls just to confirm whether it was really their's. It was a given that the room hadn't been cleaned out yet, being that it had been months since anyone has been in there. But then again, only a few people had conformation to that area of the tower. 

Without thinking, you had scanned your hand onto the access pad, and before you knew it, the glass door slid open. A decision you silently curse yourself on now for doing, since there was no doubt about it that Friday had already informed your dad that your last digital encounter was going into that room. You knew how incredibly smart that AI was, so you even made it an effort to take the route with less cameras. Even purposely running around the building, going to useless area's to confuse her in the future before sliding pass an unsupervised emergency exit. 

Despite the fact that it was 1:30 AM, the streets of Manhattan was as lively as ever. Though there was a lot less traffic at this time of the night. It gave you comfort to know that you weren't completely alone walking the streets. You may be skilled in hand-to-hand combat, but at the end of the day, you were still a girl, and that fact alone made you a clear target for some. 

And you doubt you could put up much of a fight, especially with how starved weak (and not to mention injured) you were. You had to be weary of who was around you at all times, stick to crowded areas yet be inconspicuous enough not to be spotted by cameras. As you knew for a fact that Friday was most likely scanning the area. 

Though despite how stress driven the situation was and how fidgety you felt, you weren't completely wandering lost, you had a destination set at mind and it gave you all the hope that you needed to keep moving onward. That location being the small little Chinese restaurant tucked away at a back alley passage seven blocks away from where you were. As you were quite close with the owner, being a regular weekly. So you knew for a fact that if you asked she would let you stay for a couple of days without hesitation. The small cozy family owned business reminded you so much of your old home, back when you still lived with your mother. 

After that night- or more so week spent with Tony, your mother had decided it would be best to stay put in China for a while. Delusions of starting something more than just a hook up with the oh so' brilliant Tony Stark flooded her mind. She wanted to be at arms reach for the man and stay exactly where he left her. Tony told her multiple times over the course of seven days that he'd be back for her, but he never came back... 

As weeks went by your mother had come to the realization that those words were merely nothing but empty promises and drunken slurs. Thus feeding her resentment for the small little child that grew inside her. You weren't a native of China but you were born and raised there up until age eleven or twelve, when your mother passed from cancer. Your childhood for the most part was dry and barren of any affection, having to submit and be degraded to being your mother's personal maid. Despite the mistreatment you had to endure, you couldn't exactly complain because you weren't exactly suffering. You had a roof over your head and all the food and water you could ever want, not to mention access to education. From a young age you had always shown signs of carrying the infamous Stark gene, harboring a profound skill to grasp and master any subject thrown your way. At the age of only six you were already capable of speaking three different languages; English, Chinese, and French. You had all characteristics of being a Stark. 

Except of course the looks.... Which was primarily why Tony didn't believe you were his child to begin with. You knew from the age of twelve that you looked more like your mother rather than your dad, but the contrast was blatantly eye striking next to the man whom was supposed to be your father. You had your mom's features more not to mention her complexion, being that your mother was [your race]. 

(If you're white then imagine y/n is paler or tanner than Tony, I'm Asian so....) 

You had never forgotten the most pivotal and accurate representation of your relationship that unfolded the day you first met... 

🕸🕷🕸 

You ran towards the man stood a few feet away from you, letting go of the woman's hand. Your face beams displaying a blinding smile as you ran towards Tony. 

"Dad!" 

You screamed in joy running towards the male engulfing his mid waist with your arms. The man looked down at you in a fright, his brows furrowing together as he looked at the Stark family lawyer and the social worker. 

He gently yet assertively pulls your arms off of him, not sparing you a glance as you looked up in question. 

"Are you sure she's mine?" 

Your heart drops at that moment as all becomes clear... The smile no longer present on your face as you looked down and distanced yourself away from Tony. Something no one took notice of. 

"We've already done a DNA test on her sir and she's yours..." The social worker lady spoke timidly, clutching her files tightly. 

"Well do two more tests, god damn it!" 

Tony screamed causing you to flinch slightly. A prickling sensation of shame washing over you as you watched him begins to pace, rubbing his face with the palm of his hands in distress. 

"Come here sweetie, let's go get you something to eat, you must be hungry from your flight." 

A woman with ginger hair spoke lightly as she forced out a smile, extending her hand for you before glaring at the man when you took her hold. 

"I want a cheese burger...." 

She nodded briefly, pulling you away from the scene and straight towards the elevator. 

🕸🕷🕸 

And at that day was when you realized that things were only going to get more complicated from there. Because the first moment that you both met, he had already decided that he didn't want you. 

Though contrary to his primal feelings, you were very much aware of your fathers attempts in searching for you, even though it had only been forty five minutes since the fight. It was reassuring but, you weren't in the mood to awe about it. You were still mad at him, and had zero plans of forgiving him any time soon. Or returning any time soon... You wanted him to worry and loose sleep, it was petty but it would be a mere compensation for the suffering he put you through. 

You brush pass a halted group of people, no more than twelve, lightly shoving pass them irritably. Slightly annoyed with their odd behavior, as they all seemed to be watching something you couldn't care less about. You let out an inaudible scoff, as you walked passed them. Your attention devoted to unwrapping the bubble gum you had in hand. Harshly shoving the minty treat into your mouth before putting your bandaged hands into the pockets of the leather jacket. You heaved in relief, finally giving your roaring stomach a somewhat rest after fourteen hours of starvation. The gum was probably months old by now since you found it in Nat's hoodie, but you couldn't care less. It was only meant to sustain your hunger for twenty more minutes. 

You walk at a leisurely pace, stopping slightly to push the pedestrian button at the cross walk. You watched as multiple cars pass by, rolling your eye irritably as you hear the crowd of people gasp in awe again. You normally weren't so easily agitated, but you're currently having a hard time figuring out just what your new normal would be from now on... Tapping your foot on the concrete pavement, you wished time would speed up. 

"What do you think is happening up there?" 

"Who knows" 

"Maybe he's just testing out his new suits.' 

With that, you freeze all movements. It was as if everything stilled at the command of one word. You were scared shitless of all the possibilities it could be, not knowing whether you were willing to look or not, but your anxiety was killing you. Feeling it increase at every breath, taunting you like marionettes on a string, dearing you to look, only to scream no just afterwards. With an in take of air, you pushed back those thoughts and slowly, you turned to view what all the fuss was about. Gasping in shock and horror at the sight infront of you. 

He was insane. 

There stood the Stark tower tall and proud, being lit up like a firecracker with multiple yellow streaks of light ejecting from the building. It looked as though hundreds of missiles were being fired into the air, contrasting the twilight sky. Even with the skyscrapers that surrounded the tower, the sight demanded all the attention. No, those weren't missiles...  

They behaved too smart to be simply just that. And you knew better than to dismiss them so easily. Multiple flew in every direction, some swirling around the tower, and others going straight up. There was at least two or four going north and south, while a dozen takes off headed east and west. It looked as though someone was celebrating New Years early, and doing so extravagantly, except it was the middle of fall... 

The sight was beautiful you couldn't deny that, but you were confused as to what exactly that could mean. Was it meant for you? Was he calling you back? Was that his version of an Amber alert? Or maybe they celebrating that you were finally gone... Images of Pepper, Tony, and Peter celebrating your leave quickly flash through your mind, stabbing you in the back ones more. Quickly, you shake them out of your head, returning your attention once again to the event in front of you. Your brows pulled together in question before it officially clicked. Hitting you hard like a brick, demolishing the wall of protection you built around yourself to stop the flood of overwhelming emotions. Feeling a small tug in your chest, the numbness that guarded your heart slowly dispersed as anxiety crept up your spine. 

He had unleashed the entirety of his Iron Legion's to search for you. 

All 108 suits.... 

Without thinking, you quickly crouched down, seeing one flying low into the street, right towards you. Your hood fell from a gust of wind as your hair blew all around. You screw your eyes tightly, covering your ears at a loud swooshing sound invading your eardrums. Thankfully, it flew pass you. You ignored the cheering of the crowd, quickly trying to run and sprint into an underground sub station. Turning back one last time, only to be greeted by more iron suits taking off from the tower. You frantically focusing your eyes, seeing a blue and red figure swinging from a far. 

      Peter....  

As luck may have it, he swung left, following a completely different road. 

And with that, you ran. You ran as fast as your feet could carry you, frantically looking for the 99th street substation opening so that you could hide underground. 

Cut short gasps of panic erupt from your mouth as you hurriedly ran across the street. You closed your eyes tight, feeling tears forming and falling down your face. Oh no, not now... Cold frost bitten air hits your skin as you maneuver yourself around bystanders. Not now, not now, not now. The tears fell more frequently as you squeezed your eyes shut once more. 

You were not going to send yourself into and anxiety attack, not now, and not because of this. 

Your running comes to a halt as you stand exactly where you're supposed to be, eyes quickly looking around in search for the station opening. 

There! 

In a fright, damp cold sweats engulfs your body as you enter and ran down the steps, out from above ground sight. You jump over the turnstile, panting from the tiredness as you took note of how soar your legs were becoming. You gulp, chest rising and falling rapidly as you looked around to see if anyone saw your odd behavior. And to your surprise the station was completely empty, odd... Though that could very well be because the scheduled 1:40 train had just took off fifteen minutes ago. You moved with hesitation and weariness as you looked around for any person in sight. Silently, you plopped yourself down onto a steel bench, trying desperately for your breathing to calm down. 

You didn't know how long it had been or how much time passed since you've sat down, but you stayed put fidgeting for what seemed like hours. Your thighs bounced anxiously as you kept an eye out for any short of movement, the dimly lit grimy station gave you an on edge feeling and it didn't sit right in your stomach. You felt like you were being watched from all sorts of corners and you shook it off as anxiety but something told you to stay guarded. 

Your ears would perk from time to time, hearing loud gusts of winds and cheering from above ground, ensuring the fact that your father's search party wasn't going away anytime soon. 

You hear movement coming in, snapping out of your haze as you felt a presence sit beside you. You peer up meekly in curiosity before gasping in shock and horror at who the person was. 

      Brock Rumlow.... 

"Long time no see little Stark." He spoke voice raspy and sinister as you cringe at the sight of his face. There, half of his profile was burnt and agitated red as one of his eyes was completely titanium white, you figured he was blind there. Wanda really did a number on him as you all suspected that she had killed him.... 

Little Stark.... That was something only Fury called you... 

You swallow in fear as you notice five more men appearing suddenly. You suddenly felt incredibly hyper aware of the situation, your vision tunneling as your heart rate increases. This was really happening... 

"I've waited a long time for this kid... knock her out!" 

Before you could scream in distress a throbbing pain consumes the back of your skull, and then everything turned black...

_____________

I owe you guys an explanation, and to put it simply, I was depressed and felt unmotivated so I took a lot of time to myself... I wasn't aware that so many people were expecting a follow up to a stupid little story I had written in April... I am without of words and am absolutely overwhelmed by the amount of support and love you all have given me. Yet the feeling of being pressured to write came with the notion of so much positivity, thus tainting it. I can't promise when the second half of part two will come out, but know that it is coming......

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[notsuchacleverboyq]

This Scene Confuses Me

Since I was a child, my family enjoyed watching 007 movies (even if they used to stick more to the vintage versions of it).

So, I've never been new to this fandom nor to the general plot and everything that comes with it.

After becoming a fan on my own, my favourite 007 movies absolutely turned out to be Skyfall and Spectre.

More Skyfall, to be honest.

I was eight when it first came out, but I started questioning details (and getting obsessed over characters) only after nine years.

And it is my ability to overthinking that caused this shitty and useless post.

There are plenty of details that are worth a debate and I think that 90% of those are just how bloody lucky (and unlucky at the same time) Bond can be.

But today we'll be discussing about a specific scene, which involves Silva and 007.

What the hell is going on?!

This scene confuses me every time because I don't know what I'm supposed to get from all of the details in here.

The way Silva touches Bond, the way 007 reacts, their chat...the whole just doesn't make any sense to me.

1) Silva

Obviously, my queer brain jumped to conclusions: Silva is gay.

He does give off gay vibes, but it just seems random for a character like him to put up such a scene just for pleasure.

There must be something else.

This is the point in which I got lost under a comment section of another YouTube video.

I found out that there are three kinds of people:

Silva is gay;

Silva is trying to make Bond uncomfortable;

Both at the same time.

We've already clarified that we can agree on number 1.

What about number 2?

He has tied up Bond to a chair, he's basically undressing him and touching him in way too intimate spots, he's listing any of Bond's bad results from MI6 tests...

I think it might make sense for Silva to be doing anything he can to make 007 uncomfortable.

In that comment section, indeed, the most popular explanation was Silva hitting several weak spots at the same time, in order to open Bond like a can of tuna and leave him helpless.

Here are the things Silva tries:

He ties Bond to a chair: it's a detail that is so common in these movies that people don't even consider it. It is necessary for Silva to tie Bond, in order to prevent him from escaping; but when Silva unties him it is clear that he isn't worried about 007 at all. They're on a damn island where the only people are Silva and his men: it would be stupid to even try something on your own. It also was Silva's plan to be captured by MI6, since the beginning. Which leads to an only possible conclusion: 80% of the reasons why Bond was tied up was just to get him annoyed by it. It also connects to the following points;

Silva touching him: this is the part that made all of that confusing to my eyes. Being a former MI6 agent himself, Silva knows how double-0s work, think and act. That's they key of the whole scene. So he knew how 007 could have played it cool in any possible situation and that's why he tied him up. Double-0s can fake complicity even in the most horrible scenarios, but what if it is happening and they could do nothing about it? This was Silva's strategy: getting Bond in the position in which he can't switch from being a victim to being accomplice of it. Silva started running his fingers over 007's skin and scars, stopping on the weakest spots (such as the throat);

Silva attacking Bond's identity: it connects to point 2. This the moment in which Silva gets flirty, since I don't have a better way to call it. Someone's sexuality is part of their identity, so Silva attempts to overstep Bond's boundaries by violating both: his touch is intimate and gentle, despite the situation, his voice is soft and the gaze is too dary. But 007 quickly makes clear how he has no problem with all of that and how it isn't his "first time";

Silva attacks Bond's patriotism and loyalty to M: we well know how Silva has completely lost trust in M and it seems that, for a moment, he's trying to get Bond on his side. In my opinion, that's not completely true. At first impact, it's easy to miss it, but Silva attempts to get all of Bond's beliefs to falter. He firstly tries with M: he tells 007 about how disloyal and unfair the woman can be, reproaching him even how she has sent him on missions even after he failed all of the tests; then, Silva tries with England: he tells Bond about how the Country he still defends and believes in is already dead, fallen, and how useless it is to save it. Nothing of this works and it's misunderstood as an attempt to get 007 on the evil side, since Silva's lost trust both in England and M;

Sévérine: after all of the above didn't work, Silva is left with only one thing. We know know that Bond seduces Sévérine in Skyfall and then Silva finds out; so, he decides to put up a sadistic game to get rid of her and punish 007 at the same time. All of Silva hopes is that Bond got affectionate to the woman and he suffers as a result of the game. Eventually, Silva has to shoot Sévérine himself and Bond reacts as if he couldn't have cared less.

In conclusion, we can agree to point 2 as well.

So, yes: Silva might be gay and trying to make Bond uncomfortable at the same time.

Yet the most confusing part still needs to be discussed.

2) "What Makes You Think This Is My First Time?"

I have several questions, but the first is: what the hell does that mean?

He has already been in such a situation;

He has already slept with a man;

Let's consider the quote Silva's just said before James':

How you're trying to remember your training now.

What's the regulation to cover this?

Well, first time for everything. Yes?

Considering that Silva is trying to discard Bond's sanity, I guessed that he alludes to rape when he asks 007 what his training can do for that situation.

Double-0s are prepared to face anything and get out of it almost as nothing has happened. This might explain Silva's reference to the training.

Bond's reply suggests that he had already gone through that and could do it again if circumstances required it.

It all connects to Silva trying to make 007 uncomfortable through homosexuality.

It wouldn't be new that Bond, due to his job, has needed to seduce a man. We could expect such.

So he might fly over Silva's gender and sex.

I'm still really confused over this point and don't know what to think. But James being a rape survivor is somehow an underrated Headcanon and probable, considering his job.

If someone has different ideas and explanations they're all well accepted. Maybe we can end up to a conclusion that makes sense.

[emmys-grimoire]

Lesson 57 analysis + 58 predictions

It's less exciting than anticipated, probably.

tl;dr Summary

We start asleep, but overhearing Satan + Belphegor plotting to prank us. You can choose how to surprise and foil them. They're just here to tell you breakfast is ready. Belphegor finally rewards you with the star of diligence: MC is one star away from completing the exam and earning their sorcerer's license.

Lucifer is eager to make MC a full-fledged sorcerer because he could use them to ward off Solomon's advances, which apparently he's still making. Asmo tells us that Solomon is very picky, and driven, when he's choosing who to pact with.

And he's apparently very adamant about getting Lucifer.

The others note that Mammon and Leviathan are acting unusual, and they clearly are very distracted. We decide to ignore the strangeness for now and answer Barbatos's summons to Hotel Corvo.

And guess who is also being summoned!

We arrive, and Diavolo informs us that there's an evil phantom now haunting the hotel. Not just any ol' phantom, though: a bogeyman.

Apparently they're pretty tough and might have the upperhand against demons. They take the form of what their victims' fear most. They put several hotel guests in the hospital.

We find out that the reason why Mammon and Leviathan are being so weird is because they know they're responsible for the bogeyman being in Hotel Corvo: they went wild with Crowe upgrades and summoned it accidentally, then ordered Crowe to teleport it to Hotel Corvo after it transformed into Lucifer and scared them out of their wits.

Obviously, Lucifer's not happy! Barbatos assigns him to "fix" the problem. The brothers want to leave Mammon and Leviathan to do it on their own, but of course we can't have that.

Diavolo also seems keen on joining, but Barbatos turns on the scary fake smile and Diavolo relents.

Then the others show up! It sounds like it wasn't a planned get-together, but Solomon is eager to make the best of it. He wants to make our quest to banish the bogeyman MC's final trial.

Simeon is initially reluctant, but MC convinces him to join.

And then we're off down a creepy hallway in the hotel. The lesson ends on a cliffhanger as the creature at the end of the hallway suddenly attacks us.

Don't worry, Lucy will save us, probably.

This is the start of the trial of humility.

Analysis

Barbatos's Plan

Probably the most noteworthy thing about this lesson is how clearly Barbatos is setting all this up, even though he has no visibly obvious motivation to do so. He's summoned everyone to the same location under different auspices and he's making sure Diavolo isn't around. We still didn't get any insight on what he and Lucifer talked about, but I think Lucifer's being deliberately steered by him in this direction, too.

Since this doesn't seem to be something he's coordinating with Solomon, it leads me to believe he's either doing something to foil Michael's plan or he's setting up some kind of trap for the guy. For whatever reason, he doesn't want anyone else to catch on just yet.

Simeon's reluctance to stick around and help us is also noteworthy: he probably has Michael plans on the brain, and his intuition is probably trying to warn him. Alas, he can't say no to you.

Also, the BG being a bunch of doors and keys probably means something. Barbatos's room has multiple doors which lead to multiple places, I think: can't remember if they're just portals to different parts of the three realms or different points in time, but if I was a betting gal, I'd put my money on the latter. It doesn't look like his room (it looks like an old hotel), but I wouldn't be surprised if these doors lead to "flashbacks" similar to the ones we ran into back in the fake House of Lamentation.

The Bogeyman and Lucy's fears

It's implied that the bogeyman has powers that may make it difficult for demons in particular to cull. It sounds something an angel might be effective against, though, because Solomon insists Simeon accompany the group just in case "things go south". Though Simeon seems unsure if he can actually be effective against it.

Who do you think is stronger than Simeon, who is an archangel who was once a seraphim? He could just be downplaying his power, too: he's less threatening that way.

The bogeyman also has the ability to take the form of whoever or whatever his victim fears the most: we discover that Mammon and Leviathan fear Lucifer the most when they initially summon it.

This trial is 100% going to involve Lucifer facing what he fears the most. My guesses: it'll be either Father or Michael. They can do the former if MC doesn't necessarily see the same form Lucifer sees (they likely fear something different)... but if whatever form the bogeyman takes is noticeable to everyone observing it, then it's going to be Michael because I don't think the devs are going to give God a tangible form for reasons.

Why Lucifer could fear Michael? Simple: not only was Michael the one capable of bringing him low during the Great Celestial War, but he may know Lucifer better than anyone. All his strengths, but more importantly, all his weaknesses. Lucifer fears being exposed as flawed and imperfect, particularly by those he considers his lessers. It's also not the first time he's expressed something akin to fear re: Michael.

Another possibility is Lilith. He could fear facing her after failed to protect her. That'd be difficult to manage on-screen, though, for obvious reasons. They haven't given Lilith a canon appearance yet and it's in their best interest not to because they've been using MC as the Lilith expy in the Celestial Realm flashbacks.

Whoever or whatever it is, it'll be fun.

Solomon and his pacts

Another thing this lesson did was remind us that Solomon really, really wants a pact with Lucifer. We found out a couple lessons ago that his whole motivation behind forging a pact with Asmo was his interest in Lucifer.

Up until this point, Solomon has been pretty upfront with his desires and usually backs down when they deny his request to make a pact. He asked Belphegor back in Season 1, and he hasn't brought it up again after he was rejected.

This doesn't seem to be the case with Lucifer, though. His rejections have been ignored.

He's being unusually cavalier about this whole situation so maybe he would try to manipulate the current situation to wring a pact out of Lucifer, since he hasn't been deterred yet and something needs to change in order for him to get what he wants.

I don't know. Lucifer might be his blind spot, and something he wants badly enough to step over the line, so to speak. Why he wants Lucifer so bad is another head scratcher, but it could very well be because just because the guy is incredibly powerful.

Or this is just another red herring meant to make us suspicious of Solomon again. I guess we'll see.

Predictions

We have only three lessons left, and they set this lesson up as the lead into the climax, which is going to be later than where it was in season 2. But it can't afford to happen much later. 58 will give us the first half of the climax at least, and I won't be surprised if it wraps it up entirely in one lesson so we can have both 59 and 60 to say our goodbyes. It'll feel pretty rushed otherwise.

Michael's showing up in some capacity. I'm much more willing to bet on a face reveal now than I was at the beginning of the season: we haven't heard anything from him directly since the first flashback -- not even another chat -- and he hasn't even officially introduced himself yet. But we've been hearing all about him this season, and they've made it a point to let us know he's working on something behind the scenes. It feels like most of this season was softening the ground for his arrival, and he'll drop in to get us hyped for the next season.

I think we're headed back to the Celestial Realm, baby!

Luke's not with us at the haunted hotel, so he'll likely remain oblivious about what happened during the Great Celestial War until next season. Simeon's not gonna fall because he'll probably need to be our tour guide, and we have a bunch to explore about his background, too.

I was hoping we'd get some kind of conflict with the Sorcerer's Society as a part of the completion of the exam but I'm not sure if they can fit all that in now. Kind of disappointing: trying to smooth things over with them sounds much more interesting than Mammon + Levi just letting out a literal boogeyman. I don't think they're using their story themes as effectively as they could be. It's just Levi's tech going awry again, like it always does.

How I'll rate this season will depend entirely on what the climax actually turns out to be, but so far I'd rank it higher than season 2 but lower than season 1 because of the re-used tropes. Stop teasing us and just give us meaty conflict already.

[gracielitamargarita]

Thoughts on Kyoru in Fruits Basket: The Final as a manga reader

(and bad metaphors about lava cake)

So with next week's impending shit storm of a Furuba episode next week, I've been doing some reflecting on our favorite Mutual Pining Idiots, Kyoru--and thinking about how the anime adaptation's choices in rearranging or removing content has impacted things, specifically with Se3E6.

And just to preface, I think the anime adaptation has been terrific overall. I also think loving something and critiquing something aren't mutually exclusive either. The goal of what I'm about to write is not to incite negativity, just to get some feelings out about my favorite pairing from my favorite manga series and provoke some deeper thought, I guess.

ALSO, I hope you don't mind metaphors--specifically ones about chocolate-raspberry lava cake, because that's what I've decided works best for explaining Kyoru. So FASTEN THOSE SEATBELTS PEOPLE 

MANGA SPOILERS regarding previously omitted content as well as VAGUE ANIME SPOILERS that can be implied/inferred from the ending of Se3E7 under the cut.

I think one of the (many) reasons I find Kyoru to be such a satisfying ship is because of the slow-burn element. Come season 2 through the beach arc, their chemistry is palpable, natural, and growing stronger and stronger with each episode. When Kyo finally admits to himself that he's in love with Tohru in Se2E9, it feels like we've been rewarded with a chocolate lava cake topped with raspberry sauce--it's delicious, complex, and full of gooey and satisfying substance.

Now like many, I'm a sucker for the pining idiot trope--let alone the MUTUAL pining idiot trope--and we do get to see this through the end of season 2 as Tohru's feelings for Kyo become more apparent to everyone BUT her. It's like we're LOOKING at the chocolate-raspberry lava cake, so close that we can ALMOST touch it, but we as viewers aren't allowed to cut into it yet--which makes every little encounter between the two of them all the more exciting, because we wonder what's finally going to allow us to ravish this goddamn lava cake (sorry).

Which is why I realized I'm actually struggling more than I initially thought in the final season. As it's been widely speculated, discussed, and now officially confirmed, we're getting 13 episodes this season. And while like most everyone else, I'd be thrilled with two cours, I don't know the ins and outs of anime production, AND, while I'm bummed, I've accepted that it is what it is--and that it isn't the reason I'm writing this post.

Of course not every panel or fleeting moment can be adapted from the manga to the anime. There were small little cuts here and there over the course of the first two seasons, but nothing in my opinion that's really SO substantial that it drained the lava cake of its filling--maybe some of that raspberry topping, but generally, the good stuff is all there. (Though I do love this moment below from chapter 82, which was skipped over in Se2E19)

The final season has been different, though. As we know in the manga, the inner turmoil for Kyo--and Tohru to an extent--really starts escalating immediately after Cinderella-ish with Kyoko's backstory and Kyo's nightmare from chapters 90-93. I also understand that Cinderella-ish was Se2E23, and with only 2 episodes left in the season, it made sense from a directorial standpoint to end with the Kureno/Akito reveal versus Kyoko's backstory and Kyo realizing he needs to know his place.

But without this context, it leaves moments like the flower scene from Se3E2 less impactful--like a lava cake made by someone who skimped on the filling. To an anime-only (and even as a manga reader), it's likely still a satisfying moment to watch: we know that Tohru clearly has a lot of inner turmoil following her conversation with Kureno. Kyo's turmoil following his nightmare, however--and overall, the sentiment of him thinking he needs to stay away from Tohru, yet still finding himself drawn to her above all odds--is deeply diminished.

Which leads me to the main reason (finally, sorry) that I wrote this post--Se3E6, or the episode when Tohru finally admits to herself AND to Rin that Kyo has taken the place of her mother as the most precious person to her. 

In the manga, Se3E6 is made up of chapters 107, 108, 109, AND 114, spanning the end of volume 18 through the beginning of volume 20 of the TokyoPop mangas. Volume 19 in particular is one of my all time favorite mangas in the entire series for one clear reason: just as we've seen Kyo get to do in season 2, we finally get to see Tohru slowly own her feelings for Kyo, and MY GOD, is cutting into that lava cake and enjoying that delicious filling satisfying AF. The Mutual Pining Idiots are in full swing here, both dealing with inner turmoil but also being unable to stay away from one another either. In addition, they're dealing with normal teenage awkwardness too, which feels like a bonus topping (would nuts go well, do we think? LOL) to the Kyoru lava cake.

But between the producers adapting Momiji's arc prior to episode 6 AND the producers ending episode 6 with a 2-minute horror movie essentially--AND, lest we forget, none of the Kyoko backstory at this point--we lost essentially all of that satisfying filling. 

And again, I understand, only 13 episodes and the producers are trying to make shit work and I do see why they made some of these changes in the overall big picture of things, but I wish it weren't at the expense of Tohru's character development and also for Kyoru, which had been so thoughtfully and delightfully well-developed in the first two seasons.

My biggest issue BY FAR with episode 6 is Tohru's confession to Rin happening before the sheets scene. The producers combined 109 and 114 for the second half of episode 6. In the manga, Tohru is able to openly admit that Kyo is the most important person to her BECAUSE of how he accepts her after she "opens the lid" to reveal the ugly feelings she's been harboring for years about her father. And in the manga, since we have the context of Kyoko's backstory and can see how she nearly committed suicide and left Tohru alone for days, it is gut-wrenching to finally hear Tohru confront and express her trauma in her own words. 

The sheets scene is arguably my favorite scene in the entire series. The anime portrayed it beautifully. Jerry and Laura ripped my heart out with their performances. It was a deeply moving scene (even with all of the changes) and the romance and pining was there--but, I hate to admit it, the feeling of cutting into that delicious lava cake to reveal that even more satisfying filling was not.

And now, come the end of Se3E7, we're approaching the climax of the series that we've been salivating for for so long now, the result of all of this inner turmoil and secrets and deep, deep longing for one another--and it almost feels now like the cake was baked too quickly, in addition to being drained of much of its filling. 

I was debating waiting to write this until next week after we see how Se3E8 goes, but my thoughts have been swirling about and this clown couldn’t help herself. I'd like to end this post on a hopeful and more forward-thinking note, though, if you've made it this far into my novel LOL.

There is definitely the potential to add a little more about Kyoko's backstory in next week's episode. I also expect that we'll hear more of Tohru's inner narrative and thoughts, which I’m really looking forward to. As several others have speculated as well, I predict that we'll be getting chapters 119-122 next week. Despite it being 4 chapters, everything should happen in sequence (versus with episode 6) and there's a lot of action, so I do feel like it won't feel rushed or disjointed. And while I could see them possibly ending with 121, 122 would be my preferred ending for many reasons (manga readers know where I'm going with this ;P) and I honestly see it fitting best there.

And regardless of what happens, I'm looking forward to eating whatever variety of lava cake is served to us next week.

And at the end of the day, we'll always have the manga, which will probably always be my favorite lava cake of all.

(and now I'm hungry for an actual lava cake)