#this is my face after they got the supervisor im buddies with to tell me theyre gonna fire me if i call out one more time

[puppysdog]

⚠️ CAUTION! DYKEFAG AT WORK ⚠️

[stan-joonies]

Mine, Mine, Mine

Requested! Prompt:

26: "You're mine, i don't share,"

The girl grinned up at Sweet Pea when he threw a lazy arm carelessly around her shoulders. He was tapping something on his phone, playing with a piece of gum with his tongue. His hair curled across his tanned forehead and his towering frame covering her in warmth.

Toni rolled her eyes.

"Absolutely sickly. You're a bunch of lovesick puppies,"

She smirked.

"At least we haven't been caught licking at eachothers--"

"Woah, imma stop you there, mutt," Toni hissed, glaring up at her. She ignored it and just smirked.

"What? It's just me and you," she shoved a thumb back into her boyfriends chest. "Ever since he got the new phone he's been completely unresponsive," to prove her point, she dragged sharp nails from his chest down to his pelvis, then back up, a gesture that would usually make Sweet Pea shiver and drag her away, or at least blush. His eyes stuck glued to the screen, however, not even humming in acknowledgement .

"Bet you're regretting that purchase, aint you?"

Y/N shrugged. In all honesty, she didn't mind. Sweet Pea had originally had a flip phone, used only to take and recieve calls. Even then the only contacts was some of the serpent elders, Toni, Fangs, her and Jughead, albeit reluctantly. Sweet Pea claimed it didn't bother him, he barely used the internet anyway, but Y/N caught the longing glances Sweet Pea sent when they past electronic or apple stores. Y/N also noticed Sweet Pea's reluctance to pull out his phone infront of anyone. He always walked out the room or hid the phone, even when taking a text. So, Y/N worked hard leading up to his birthday and managed to buy him an iphone. It wasn't the newest model, but it wasn't in bad condition and it was brand new. Now, with more storage, he had flooded his phone with games and apps and pictures and videos. He was in love with that phone.

"Not really," she sighed, smiling up at him. "Love you, Pea,"

His eyes immediately broke away from the screen, blinking rapidly. He smirked, squeezing her closer and bowing his lips to the shell of her ear.

"Love you, too,"

The bell chose that moment to screech into their ears that it was time for class, with a kiss goodbye and a skip in her step, Y/N made her way to art, smiling happily.

-

Y/N preferred to sit near the back of the classroom because there was a window right next to her with the prettiest view. Trees and flowers swaying in the breeze, a couple leaves floating delicately down to the ground.

Today, though, someone sat in the seat next to her, which she found relatively odd. Most people tended to avoid her, terrified of her boyfriends famous temper.

When she walked up to the table, the boy smiled at her.

"You're Y/N?"

She hummed lightly, smiling back at him.

"Great! I'm Joseph, i just changed schools recently. Apparently you're the person to go to if i need help adjusting,"

Y/N inwardly sighed. At the beginning of her years at highschool, her goody-two-shoes self had sign up as a future "Hallway buddy". A job that basically allowed teachers to abandon their jobs as supervisors and shove it into the hands of willing, gullible new students.

She had tried to get out of it once she had to show a boy around, one who was more interested in picking up girls than the classrooms he needed to be in.

It was only then that the school informed her that if she wanted the extra credit, she had to continue into graduation. It was frustrating but she wasn't exactly the smartest so she needed it.

"That's me, nice to meet you," they shook hands, Joseph holding on slightly after she let go.

"Great, I'm not very socially...Im not very good with people so I'm glad you seem nice."

Y/N hummed in understanding.

"There are some annoying people you shouldn't get involved with. But I'm not gonna tell you who to and not to get involved with." She sat down next to him. "I just ask you don't believe everything you hear,"

"What? About the Serpents and the fact they're this cruel, bloodthirsty gang of emos?"

Y/N glared quickly.

"One of those serpents happens to be my boyfriend,"

Joseph tensed, straightening his back.

"Right, sorry,"

The lesson was spent in silence after that, Y/N focusing on the outside window.

When the bell announced their next lesson, she hurriedly collected her things, intent to leave before deflating.

She would have to show Joseph around either way, best get it over with.

She waited at the door, watching his glum face light up when he caught sight of her.

"Thank god," he sighed, smiling. "I was terrified I'd have to navigate the halls alone, worst fear."

She hummed, quickly manoeuvring through halls.

Joseph looked at her, tapping her meekly on the shoulder.

"I'm sorry, about what i said about the Slytherins, i just...i normally stick with the crowd,"

"First off, they're called the Serpents, and if you actually wanna make friends...maybe you shouldn't just 'stick with the crowd'."

Joseph huffed, flushing.

"Right. And sorry, i had a harry Potter marathon last night."

Her eyebrow raised at the mention of her favourite movie.

"We might become really good friends," she muttered.

-

When it came to Lunch, Y/N took him to the cafeteria where they got their food. When they turned around, Y/N immediately caught sight of the group of leather clad teens. She was about to go towards them but stopped when she saw Joseph's ashen face.

"Joseph?" She questioned, noticing the hands clenching fearfully at the side of his tray.

"Sorry...i just...god..." he looked away.

Y/N groaned. Joseph had yet to make friends and so it was clear he was totally uncomfortable and self concious. She felt the weight of a familiar gaze on her and she looked away from Joseph to see Sweet Pea staring at her, brow raised, earning a decisive shrug in return .

Making up her mind, she balanced her tray with one hand, considerably harder than she thought before taking hold of Joseph's sweater.

"Come with me,"

They made their way to the Serpents, some glancing at her when she brought a random into the group.

"Hey, Toni, Fangs, Jug, Pea," she smiled down at them, smiling thankfully when Fangs took her tray and placed it near Sweet Pea,whom, once again, was concentrated on his phone. She leaned down and kissed him on the cheek, him humming slightly before he began to tap furiously at his phone. "This is Joseph, he's new. I was showing him around and thought it'd be nice for you all to meet him," she sat down, shoving Sweet Pea further up the table so Joseph had enough room to sit. Sweet Pea just grunted.

Joseph sat down stiffly, nodding at them all.

"Hello,"

He recieved echos of greeting. Y/N had a slight suspicion he wasn't just introverted. He seemed quite outgoing around her alone, waving his hand furiously and voice occasionally increasing past normal range. Yet as soon as they entered a classroom, all the colour he gained on his face was drained and he became unfortunately meek and cowered into himself.

"Joseph," Y/N muttered, wanting to vocalise her concerns "Do you have..."

"Social anxiety? Yeah," he laughed. "Really bad too. That's why i was so glad to be paired with you.

Sweet Pea's furious tapping stopped.

"Paired?" Toni questioned.

Joseph grinned.

"I'm paired up with her in art and we discovered we have pretty much every class together,"

Sweet Pea's eyes rose from the screen.

"It was a relief honestly! I would be completely lost otherwise!" The blonde scratched the back of his neck, a nervous habit her picked up as a child. "She practically had to lead me by the hand, i looked quite pathetic, honestly!"

Sweet Pea slid his phone into his pocket.

"I'm sure you would've of been just fine, you're a lovely boy, Joseph. People will be eating you up--"

Suddenly, a heavy weight pressed down her shoulders and she found herself squished into Sweet Pea's side, his mouth kissing the crown of her head.

"Sweet Pea?" She looked up at him, frowning at the swirl of emotions peeking out behind dark clouds of brown. The table was completely forgotten. Y/N trusted Toni to pick up the conversation from there.

"Hmm," he burried his face into her neck, taking a deep breath in, tensing when he smelt deodorant. "What? Why do you smell of mint?" He wouldn't admit he missed the flowery, sweet scent she was usually accompanied with.

"Oh! Joseph let me borrow his, turns out we have PE together too! I ran out of mine last week," she flashed a grin.

"You could've told me, i would've brought you some more. They're only cheap," he mumbled into her ear, growling when Y/N laughed lightly.

"You don't need to get Jealous, Pea. Honest. I like the tall, dark and handsome type anyway,"

His lips came brushed against her ear slowly, kissing it gently.

"You're mine, i don't share,"

"And you don't, I'm yours just like you're mine,"

Sweet Pea growled playfully, biting her neck briefly

"Who said i was yours?"

Y/N scowled, her hand coming up to rest at his throat, forcing his head down so her mouth was at his jaw. She bit lightly at the skin, a difficult task.

"I said so, big boy,"

She squeezed his throat lightly, Sweet Pea shivering, before turning back to the table, taking notice that Sweet Pea didn't reach for his phone once.

[momentofmemory]

fictober - day seven

Prompt #7: “No, and that’s final.”

Fandom: Spider-Man (All Media Types/Tom Holland Films)

Warnings: Canonical Character Death

Rating: PG

Characters: Peter Parker & May Parker, Ben Parker (mention)

Words: 2461

Author’s Note: part v of a may & peter series, but can be read as a stand alone. we all knew this was coming but that doesn’t really make it any easier, im so sorry. i wound up cutting out a lot for time’s sake, so i’ll probs buff it up a bit when i clean it up later. but for now, enjoy :)

>>No Strings Attached

Peter is four. No, Peter is fourteen—but Peter is four.

Peter is four, because it’s just not possible that May would have to drive through the dead of night to a police station, fear lancing through her heart, twice in one lifetime.

May fights back tears and races into the one hundred and seventh precinct, and it’s just as frantic and overwhelming as it was ten years ago—except Peter is fourteen, and Ben isn’t here to fight off the officers that intercept her this time.

They tell her she doesn’t need to ID the body, and her stomach churns when she realizes that it’s because Peter already has.

Still, they ask her if she wants to see him anyway, and she does, she does, because she saw Ben just barely under an hour ago and it already feels like an eternity.

(Mary is thirty-six and thirty-six and thirty-six, and Richard is thirty-eight and thirty-eight and thirty-eight, but Ben is fifty-one and god, how can there not be a fifty-two?)

What she says is: “Where’s Peter?”

They tell her he’s been taken to one of the back rooms to get cleaned up and get a change of clothes, and that it could be a little while before he’s ready for her.

One of the officers asks her if they’d like her to dispose of his old clothes, and May’s brain refuses to compute why that would be necessary. The officer glances at his partner, and then explains that the stains will probably never come out.

May clutches at the desk to keep from dropping to the floor, and manages to stammer out permission to do whatever they want to with them.

Peter is fourteen.

(But Ben is fifty-one.)

She wavers, torn between her grief for Ben and her desperation to see Peter.

“Take me to him, please,” May says, because it doesn’t feel real yet. “I want to see my husband.”

She does, and it feels real.

She locks herself in one of the bathroom stalls and cries and cries and cries, because Ben is gone and she doesn’t know how to live in a world without him in it, and she doesn’t know how to take care of a teenager by herself, and this wasn’t supposed to happen.

But it has, so at the fifteen minute mark May scrubs away her ruined mascara, splashes the coldest water she can stand across her face, and asks the officer outside the door if Peter is ready yet.

When she walks into the room Peter’s been told to wait in, it feels so much like that night she can almost hear Ben arguing on their behalf in the background, because Peter’s sitting on the floor, back squashed against the wall, orange shock blanket draped haphazardly across his shoulders.

It steals May’s breath away, because for a moment, all she can see is a Peter who is four.

A piece of paper is clenched in his fist, and his hands are raw and red-looking, like he’d been scrubbing at them for hours. Peter looks up, and when his red-rimmed eyes meet hers, her soul cracks in half because he is, inarguably, a Peter who is fourteen.

May stumbles across the room and frantically checks him over. The officers told her he was unharmed so she’s not really looking for anything, but she needs this to feel real, too. Finally satisfied, she takes his hand into hers and asks him if he’s okay.

He stares at the desk in front of him and shakes his head. No.

May wraps a hand around the back of his head and pulls him to her. She plants a kiss in his hair and strokes his back, because he may be fourteen, but she’s only fifty-three.

(And Richard is thirty-eight—and Mary is thirty-six—and Ben is fifty-one.)

______________________

When the day of the funeral comes, Peter is almost late, and May would have been furious at him if she’d had any energy to spare. He’d been acting weird ever since the science trip to Oscorp three weeks ago, and apparently even a funeral is not enough to change that. They stand in the receiving line next to each other, and pretend to smile and tell the well-wishers that no really, they’re okay.

Halfway through, one of Peter’s classmates—Michelle, May’s brain supplies—pushes to the front of the line and says, “Some new vigilante dropped off the mugger at the precinct forty-minutes ago.”

May stares at the girl, uncomprehending.

“He still had the gun on him, so as long as the prints match there shouldn’t be any trouble getting a conviction.” She shrugs. “Thought you’d want to know.”

Several of the people in hearing distance nod approvingly, but their next-door neighbor, Mrs. Dara, just scoffs. “Typical vigilantes. Only show up in time to clean up the mess, not stop it.”

Michelle glares at the woman, and then gives May a salute that’s awkward, but not mocking. She slips off to wherever she came from, and May realizes that she does feel a bit lighter knowing that Ben’s killer can’t hurt anyone else.

May keeps smiling and shaking hands, and it takes four people passing by before she realizes Peter is no longer by her side.

______________________

May guilts her supervisor into letting her off early her first day back to work, because the pitying stares and I’m so sorrys are enough to make her want to drive her headset through a wall. Money is already too tight for her to have to pay for damages, so instead, she signs out of work at 1:30, and takes the train the long way home because the normal route reminds her too much of Ben. She gets off two stops early, buys a coffee she can’t afford, and avoids the eyes of every couple she passes.

Peter had texted that he’d be spending the night at Ned’s, so May fully intends to go through an entire case of beer the second she gets home. She also intends to pull up every single home video they have, which is a decent amount thanks to Peter, and bawl her eyes out while curled up in one of Ben’s old sweaters.

This plan is completely derailed when May goes to unlock the apartment door and it nearly slams open in her face.

Peter is standing on the other side, hoodie pulled up around his face and bags under his eyes. He clearly wasn’t expecting her arrival, just like he clearly isn’t happy about it.

“May!” he says, scrambling back as May pushes her way into the apartment. “How’re you—what’re you—what’re you doing here?”

“What am I—what are you doing here?” May notes the way Peter is edging  towards the door, and so she clicks it shut with her foot.

“I just needed to get some stuff for tonight and now I have it, so, bye?”

“Whoa, buddy,” she says, placing a hand on his shoulder to lead him away from the door. “Try again.”

Peter shimmies out of her grasp, and the movement dislodges a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket. It falls to the floor and his eyes widen, coloured with an emotion May can’t place, and he scrambles after it. He’s faster than May’s ever seen him, but not fast enough to reach it before she’s placed her foot firmly on top, pinning it to the ground.

He looks up and she jerks her head in its direction. “What’s this?”

“Nothing,” he says, definitely too quickly for it to be true.

May slides her foot across the floor, and the paper with it, until it’s directly under her.

“May, please—”

She ignores him and bends over to pick it up, unfolding it and smoothing out the wrinkles.

It’s a piece of printer paper, and the watermark on the top is from the NYPD—May suddenly remembers seeing him with it in the back room. There’s one line drawn in black ink down the middle, dividing it in half, and red, blue, and purple tally marks fill it nearly two-thirds of the way down on the left side. The right, however, is completely empty.

May lingers on the different colours, knowing Peter’s too disorganized to have more than one colour of pen on him at one time. She frowns. Peter must have been keeping track of something over multiple days, or at least multiple sittings.

Her eyes flick up and meet his. He looks at the floor.

She takes a sip of her coffee and wishes it were something stronger, and then places the cup on the counter. “What’s going on, Peter?”

“I—” Peter’s eyes dart back and forth between her and the door. “It’s nothing.”

“I majored in bullshit, Peter. Try again.” The dividing line stands out starkly on the page and suddenly, it clicks. She lowers the paper and stares over the top of her frames. “You wanna tell me what was so important you had to make a pros and cons list in a police department?”

Peter loops his thumbs under the straps of his backpack and mumbles something May can’t pick out.

She places a finger behind her ear. “Excuse me?”

“It was—nevermind.” Peter pauses, and kicks his foot at nothing. “It’s nothing, and I’m going out now.”

“You got somewhere you need to be, Parker?”

Peter groans, the hood of his sweater falling off as he cards anxiously through his hair. “This is exactly why you weren’t supposed to be here.”

“I can’t be in my own apartment now?” May can’t believe what she’s hearing. “Who do you think pays—”

“That’s the problem!” Peter shouts, and he whirls around, and May’s startled by the unshed tears in his eyes. Then he deflates. “Or at least... one of them.”

"Then what’s the problem?”

Peter starts to just shake his head, and then his back straightens. He sets his jaw. “...I’m leaving.”

“Yes, you’ve said that.”

“No, like.” Peter bites his lip. “Leaving.”

May stares at him.

“Forever.”

The world drops out from underneath May, because out of all the things she’s expected to come out of Peter’s mouth during her long, sleepless nights, this has never been one of them. May’s eyes jerk back and forth between Peter, who’s inching towards the door, and Ben’s empty chair.

“Peter Benjamin Parker, if you so much as step one foot out that door you are grounded for life.”

Peter shakes his head, a hysterical determination in his countenance. “No. No, I thought this through.”

“Clearly not enough,” May snaps, grabbing his wrist.

Peter breaks her hold easily, and May’s taken aback because when has Peter gotten strong?

“I’m not—I can’t—” Peter chokes, his throat tightening. “I can’t be around you. Or anyone.”

“The hell is that supposed to mean?”

“I—he—” Tears start running down Peter’s face. “Look at the tally marks.”

May does, and for the first time, notices that the very first lines are not red at all, but only reddish: rust-like in colour, unusually thick and too inconsistent to be from a pen.

Almost like blood.

Oh god.

“Peter,” May says, wanting to hold him but scared he’ll bolt if she does, “Peter, it isn’t your fault.”

Peter shakes his head. “I could have stopped him. I could have, May, and I just—I let it happen all over again. I killed my parents and I killed Ben and I can’t stop thinking about how I’m going to get you killed, too, and I could have stopped it this time—”

“Peter, look at me.” May throws caution to the wind and grabs him by the shoulders. “He had a gun. Okay? I don’t care if you’re four or fourteen, there was nothing you could have done to—”

“You don’t know that!”

The apartment echoes with the sound of his shout, but the empty space between them echoes louder. May drops her hands from his shoulders and Peter’s fists quake at his sides.

“Okay. You know what? You’re right.” May says, taking a step back. “I don’t.”

Peter sucks in a strangled breath, but May ignores him. Instead, she rifles through the apartment, tossing pillows off couches and overturning magazines, until she finds what’s she’s looking for: a green ink pen. She snatches it up and walks over to the dining room table, and slams the paper down.

“All right, let’s try this shall we?” She uncaps the pen and starts to draw. “First off, we’ve got the lying. Constantly. And for god knows why. You’re late for everything, no matter how important and how many times I remind you. You space out in the middle of conversations. You’re unnecessarily snappish, you’re irresponsible with your things, you have an annoying tendency to vanish on the rare occasion you actually do show up. You’re a teenage boy so you break shit all the time, which I then have to pay to replace. Your uncle—”

May cuts off, her throat having closed up. Hot, salty tears land on the page, blurring the ink. May doesn’t know if they’re hers or Peter’s.

“—your uncle died in front of you. So did your parents.”

She finishes writing with an aggressive swipe, green tally marks littering the paper for every damning thing she’s said. Peter’s jaw is clenched so tightly May can hear his teeth grinding together, but it can’t stop his tears from spilling out.

“And you know what?”

Peter jerks his head, no, not trusting his voice. May abruptly rips the paper clean in two.

“I don’t care.”  She crumples up the side holding the tally marks, leaving only the blank piece intact.

“You could have pulled the trigger yourself and I still wouldn’t let you go.”

A sob rips out of Peter’s chest, and he shakes his head. “I can’t, I can’t. I–I messed up so bad, May.”

“No. You listen to me, remember? Me.” She holds up the blank sheet of paper. “You see this? There are zero reasons written here, Peter. Zero. You could have a million reasons on the other side, and it still wouldn’t matter because I don’t need a reason to know you’re mine.”

Peter’s lip trembles. “But I—”

“No. And that’s final.” May reaches out and wipes the tears off Peter’s cheek with her thumb. “I’ve already lost Ben. I’m not losing you too.”

Something snaps. Peter’s backpack drops to the floor and he crashes into her, hugging her like he hasn’t in years and sobbing I’m sorry, I’m sorry into her shoulder.

May hugs him back and they rock back and forth in the kitchen, and when Ben doesn’t come up to join them, she sobs, too. But she doesn’t let go.

“I promised you forever Peter. No strings attached,” May whispers, tears running down and merging with his. “Just me.”

[rainagainstmywindow]

All Shades of You (Chapter 5)

Happy Birthday to Percy Jackson! This is super fluffy so it commemorates the Percabeth anniversary as well too I believe. Thanks as always to my lovely beta @san-penedo and enjoy the small lifeguard!Percy i managed to sprinkle in there! (please search #ramwfics or #ASoY for previous chapters)

Percy groaned as he attempted to read the same passage of his history textbook for what appeared to be the hundredth time. The exhaustion that weighed over him thanks to swim practice two hours prior didn’t help either, nor the fact that he had to wake up early tomorrow for his dog-walking gig. He would have little time the rest of the weekend to catch up on homework since he’d taken on extra shifts at the local pool where he worked as a lifeguard to make up for what he couldn’t work during the weekdays now that he was in the swim team.

He got halfway through the passage once again but it was no use, the words just taunted him from the page, dancing around in weird, curvy waves. Frustrated, he slammed the book shut, immediately flinching at the sound. He hadn’t heard anyone come in but Smelly Gabe would give him hell for making any noise during his precious “TV time.” Percy slowly poked his head out of his room and was relieved to find he was home alone. His stepfather was probably out drinking with his buddies and his mom should’ve been heading home from the candy shop. He felt his phone buzz. It was a text from Sally.

Will probably get there in a few hours. Had to close up late and I stopped to get some groceries. Don’t wait up. Love you

Percy texted back a quick reply, knowing full well she was probably closing up but at a new job. She had not wanted to admit it when he’d asked, too concentrated on congratulating him for making the team, but this definitely put a strain on money. His school tuition had already been too much even when he was working more frequently. He wondered once again if this was worth it, if he was worth it. He knew his mom wanted him to have what she didn’t, to finish high school and make it out of this neighbourhood. But he’d only managed to screw up every chance he’d gotten so far, and college just seemed too out of reach. His stepfather seemed to agree with it all being a waste. I won’t waste a dime on your little delinquent kid, Sally! Percy had heard him and his mother arguing after she’d gotten Percy the interview at Goode. As if Smelly Gabe had ever contributed anything but anxiety to Percy’s life. He’d silently prayed he wouldn’t be allowed into the school, didn’t really see how considering his record and poor grades. But, somehow, he’d made it in.

He made his way into the kitchen and rummaged through the fridge. He’d made sure to have an extra large lunch but he had not eaten since practice and he was starving. Percy looked at the clock. 10:32 pm. He figured Beckendorf would be at his apartment, getting back from work himself. Last year he would alternate his time between practice and Beckendorf’s apartment. Most days Grover would join them and they would pass the time bothering Beckendorf about Silena or playing with Mrs. O’Leary. Yet another thing Percy had screwed up when he got himself kicked out. He slammed the fridge door too, this time flinching because he knew he couldn’t afford to break the old thing. It’s not like Beckendorf had stopped inviting him over. He’d even hung out there a few days ago. Percy just couldn’t help but feel guilty whenever he saw him.

In the end, his own boredom and frustration won and he found himself in front of Beckendorf’s door. Mrs. O’Leary must’ve heard him come because Percy could hear her barking through the door. A few seconds later there was Beckendorf staring down at him, still im his mechanic overalls. “Hey! Everything okay?” Percy didn’t miss how his dark eyes scanned his face. There had been a couple of times last year when he’d knocked on his door later at night looking worse for wear.

“Yeah,” he answered casually, “I just got bored. Can I come in?”

“Yeah, of course.” Beckendorf stepped aside, making sure to hold on to Mrs. O’Leary’s colar. The large Rottweiler had started bounding happily at the sight of Percy, who scratched her ears on his way in. Beckendorf knew Percy too well. “You hungry?” He asked as they shuffled into his living room/kitchen.

Percy tried not to look too embarrassed as he admitted: “I’m starving.”

************

“What?” Percy asked Grover for the second time. He’d been too focused on a scrawny kid flopping around in the pool in front of him to hear what his friend was saying. He’d seen the kid before, not the strongest swimmer but Percy could tell it was more due to lack of confidence than anything else. He’d seen him manage quite well in the shallower parts of the pool. Today it seemed like he’d finally decided to try out the deeper end though. The kid’s parents were nowhere to be seen, and Percy could see the panic starting to creep into his face as he realized the water was too deep to stand in. “I’ll be right back.”

Percy slid into the water. He didn’t want to make a scene since the kid wasn’t actually drowning and he wanted to give him a chance to get out of there by himself. The boy spotted him right away, relief evident in his face. Percy was tall enough to stand in this part of the pool so he made his way slowly towards him. “Hey there.” The kid didn’t make a dash to hold onto him so Percy knew hadn’t gotten too desperate, but the way he was flopping around would tire him out soon enough. “What’s your name?”  

The kid, looking mildly embarrassed, told him it was Trevor. Slowly but surely, Percy got Trevor to paddle to a shallower part of the pool. His parents finally made an appearance not soon after. “Hey ma’am,” Percy called. They were clearly here just to pick him up and they didn’t look too happy about it. The father hadn’t even looked up from his phone. “Is this your kid?” The mother, a woman that appeared to be blonde with unusually dark skin (through his limited color palette Percy assumed it was due to a bad tanning job), looked him up and down but didn’t find it within herself to answer. “I had to help Travis swim away from the deeper end of the pool. He’s not a strong enough swimmer yet for you to leave him on his own like-”

“Oh, I’m sorry, are you complaining about doing your job?” The woman’s tone made Percy’s blood boil but he clenched his fists to keep his temper in check. He didn’t need any complaints going to his supervisor. He tried to apologize but the woman was too busy yanking Trevor out of the water to care. Percy tried to put on a fake smile as he waved goodbye to the kid and sulked back to his chair.

Grover looked distastefully at the spot where the woman had gone. “A plus parenting, huh?”

Percy rolled his eyes in agreement and slumped back into his chair. “What were you saying before?”

“Oh right,” Grover tried to calm his nerves, but he’d never been a good liar and Percy knew him pretty well by now. Grover was hoping to catch Percy in a good mood since he knew he wouldn’t like this next part very much. “Well, you know how you’ve been telling me you’ve been struggling with homework lately?”

That question alone was enough to hit a nerve. “I’m not struggling, Grover. I was just saying that I’m tired and I hate reading.”

“Yeah, well I was talking to Annabeth-” Grover held up a pleading hand before Percy could interrupt him- “She’s really smart, Percy! She could help you out after school!”

“Why did you have to tell her anything? I don’t even know her!”

“I didn’t tell her anything about that!” Grover argued. He knew it was hard for Percy to talk about people about his dyslexia and ADHD; he wouldn’t betray his trust like that. Little did Percy know, however, that Annabeth was in the same boat. “I just told her you needed some help with some subjects because I know she’s really good at all that stuff and she actually volunteered herself to tutor you.” It had taken Grover aback a bit actually. Annabeth was nice and always there to help, but she didn’t take on to new people right away. Grover hadn’t gotten the impression that she disliked Percy, but it usually took her a lot longer to show interest in new people. The only other person he knew she’d gotten along with right away was Thalia. Now that Grover thought about it, Percy and Thalia did have a lot in common, though.

“Tutor me?” Percy was looking thoroughly annoyed, eyes fixed on the water before him.

“She’s not going to charge you or anything,” Grover winced at his own comment. It was hard to manage Percy’s temper around this subject. He hated feeling pitied and wasn’t big on asking for help. “She’s just trying to help and she’s new here. She doesn’t know many people besides me and Thalia.” Percy sighed. “She’s the smartest person I know, Percy. I trust her. You met her. She’s cool.” Grover could tell he was going to give in. He knew Percy was worried about keeping his grades up. His swim coach had let him on the team under the condition that he would get his GPA up enough to get out of probation from the school. Grover was also secretly excited about his two best friends possibly becoming friends themselves.

“Fine,” Percy finally said, bringing his whistle up to his lips at the sight of a group of small girls chasing each other. He gave one firm blow and pointed at the sign that read No Running when they both whipped their heads towards him. “I’ve got some free time on Monday after practice.”

*************

Annabeth tapped her pen impatiently against the table she’d settled in at the library. It didn’t help her temper that today she found out that this same pen, which she’d been using since the beginning of the semester, was bright red. The color of romance, her father had once jokingly told her. And danger, Annabeth now thought. Yeah, that seemed more accurate in her case.

The guy was almost an hour late. She was about to give up when she heard what sounded like a chair being knocked over, a loud hush, and a quick apology. A few seconds later, there was Percy Jackson. His hair was still wet from what she assumed was swim practice and he was holding a battered skateboard under his arm. Annabeth was once again struck by the intense green of his eyes. She thought she’d gotten used to the color after seeing it everywhere for the past couple of weeks, but it still floored her. There was nothing else that was that exact shade of green.

“You’re late.”

He at least managed to look guilty as he pulled a chair out noisily, earning him a death glare from the librarian at the desk. “I know. I’m so sorry. We ended late and the subway broke down or something.”

Annabeth would’ve shrugged that off as a half-assed excuse but every time she’d gotten on the subway that week it had stopped for almost an hour. Percy also had a very sincere way of saying things that kind of put her on edge. She waved her hand dismissively. “It’s fine. Did you bring your book?” He pulled a history textbook from his battered backpack. She tried to ignore the fact he’d dogeared the page. “Fall of Constantinople, right?”

“Yeah.” She could tell this whole ordeal embarrassed him a little. It was becoming harder and harder to remember she was annoyed at him. “I just...can’t seem to understand why this city was so important. From what I managed to extract from the other chapter, it seems like this whole empire was already done for.”

“I mean it was certainly in decline, and the Ottoman Turks had taken the Balkans and Anatolia by this point. So that made Constantinople the last city holding up what used to be this seemingly unbreachable empire.” Annabeth saw Percy nodding along and jutting down some notes. There was no other way to call it, it was cute. “Constantinople also represented Mehmed’s rival religion.”

“Wait, so he tried to take it again? This Meh...however you say his name? He’d already tried before, right?”

“No, that was his dad.” Annabeth leaned closer to the passage Percy was looking at. He pushed the book towards her so she could get a better look. The font was so tiny that Annabeth almost got dizzy. It would’ve taken her almost an hour to decipher just one paragraph. She pushed the book back towards him, hoping he hadn’t noticed. Thankfully, she had always been good at remembering names and they’d gone over this in her school in San Francisco last year. “Murad was the one who failed to take the city and then his son Mehmed tried again and succeeded. He got this Hungarian artillery expert, Urban I think he was called, to build him a cannon powerful enough to take down the walls of the city.”

“Sorry, could you spell that last name?”

Something about the question made Annabeth falter for a second. Percy appeared to understand most of what they were talking about. It was the names that seemed to stump him. It sounded a little familiar. “Sure.” Annabeth spelled the name out for him and she watched him make some new notes. She thought about how Grover never failed to bring up Percy one way or another when she complained about homework assignments. “Once Mehmed seized the city he used the emperor’s famed cathedral as a mosque. I can’t remember the name though. Is it in your book? I don’t know if they’d want you to know it for class.”

Annabeth observed as Percy scanned the page; she could practically feel the frustration oozing off of him. She was absolutely certain her suspicions were correct when she saw him push the book a bit far away, a trick she herself had tried many times. “Hey Percy,” he grunted in response, still absorbed in the textbook, “are you maybe...dyslexic?”

She felt him tense right away. Grover hadn’t told her for a reason, it was clearly a touchy subject for him. Annabeth was grateful that Grover had also clearly failed to tell Percy about her. “I just think that’s why Grover brought all of this up.” He was now looking at her, a complicated look on his face, like he didn’t know whether or not he should be getting offended. “It’s just that,” it had always been hard for her to talk about it too. It was like a cosmic joke for someone that loved reading so much to be made in a way that made it almost impossible to do so. “I am too, dyslexic I mean. Just looking at that book just now made me want to throw up.” His expression immediately softened. Annabeth noted the way he could easily go from one emotion to another. “That font size is awful.”

“I know right. And it’s and older edition so it doesn’t have an audio version.”

“I think I still have one for my textbook last year. I don’t know if it has everything in this one but-”

“No, yeah. That’d be great! I mean if you don’t mind-”

Annabeth chuckled, definitely cute. “I don’t, Percy.”

He thanked her once again and they finally exchanged numbers. They got through the main events of Constantinople. Annabeth remembered everything pretty well and Percy took notes. She felt light as a feather the whole time. She tried to ignore it. It’d never been this way with anyone she liked in the past. Her crush on Luke had been anything but light. Being with Percy was just nice. She didn’t know about the whole ‘soulmate’ ordeal, she didn’t even know if she liked him that way really, but she definitely wanted to hang out with him again.

An hour later he casually checked his phone and almost jumped off his chair, earning him yet another glare from the librarian. Annabeth tried to mask her snort as a cough. “Sorry,” he said quickly. He turned to Annabeth. “I have to go. Are you free Thursday?” She was pretty sure she would be but she’d have to check. She could tell he was in a hurry though so she told Percy she’d text him. “Thanks again! See you then.”

Annabeth smiled silently to herself as Percy hurried out of the library, bumping into several chairs and failing beautifully at making a quiet exit. Her smiled melted when she looked down at the pen she was still holding. Bright red.

[bbbb-barnes]

Look After You - Bucky Barnes X Reader [2]

 A/N OKAY HI!! (I’m Elle by the way) Quick one just to let you know this is my secondary blog, im pretty new to Tumblr not sure how it works tbh but you can reach me here orrrr @jbbtraash with is my primary but ill keep the fic coming on this account. If you like this please let me know I love feedback and would love to get to know some of you so thank you if you’ve reacted to the first chapter it means the world!! This fic is a slow burn but will be introducing some of your favourite avengers characters in the next chapt so hold tight.

Summery; Bucky Barnes discovers his sister is still alive and finds comfort in the endearing nurse that cares for his dying sibling 

Chapter 1 

Warnings; mention of dementia (??) angst, crying 

Word count; 1770 

The harrowing feeling of looking around for help in an overwhelming situation only to realise YOU are the person who is supposed to know what to do is truly terrifying. The woman was 86 years old and had stage 3 Dementia and was hysterical because she thought, no she was adamant a highly trained assassin that had recently obliterated the United Nations building was her brother that had died in 1943. As utterly absurd as it all sounded, something deep down wanted you to believe this woman and as you looked into her eyes, filled with utter confusion, pure shock and probably the scariest shimmer of hope, one you had never seen before as she begged you to help her find him, begged you to help her bring her Bucky home, finally.

 That was a month ago, one whole month. You promised to Rebecca you would help her, you didn’t know why seen as all your professional training has steered you away from humouring the seemingly crazy ideals dementia patients got into their heads. You could lose your damn job, she told you not to tell her children as it would only worry them, and you knew better than to tell your supervisors at work. You were trying to be coy, you didn’t let on to Becca you were helping just as much as you were because that really would get her hopes up, however you had found yourself getting progressively more and more invested in this mystery as certain things began to unravel. Thankfully day to day didn’t change, you still did your due diligence to care for this woman day in and day out. These days she just asked more about him which made you cringe and try to answer as diplomatically as possible. Truth be told Rebecca’s mental state was rapidly deteriorating and you were quickly searching for an answer before she ran out of time. One thing was for sure, that man was Bucky Barnes. The news report even released his name James Buchanan Barnes and comparing the grainy CCTV photograph to the watermarked, old photograph of Bucky Rebecca kept in a frame by her bed proved it clear as day, it was the same person.

“Okay Rebecca, that’s me finished for today do you need anything before I head home?” I asked softly popping my head around her bedroom door. She was bundled up in the blankets I had thrown over her just 10 minutes previous in an attempt to protect her from the freezing cold November air that you just could not seem to escape from. Her bedroom light was off and the garish room, filled with pink frills, even more pictures and a rather large, obnoxious vanity was lit dimly by the pink bedside lamp. The old lady grasped an old book between her weathered hands and smiled vacantly up at you.

“Oh, Mother, come here please, read for me?” Her voice, much like her eyes, was distant and pleading, imitating that of a small child you sighed sadly before stepping into the light of the room, rounding the small space in a few steps and sitting by her on the rosy pink bedspread, this was not uncommon anymore and it was almost always at night time. It always surprised you however, that she couldn’t remember what she did 10 minutes ago but her she recalled her childhood with crystal clarity even reverting back to that same, scared child sometimes when the darkness hit…

“Rebecca, It’s me. Y/N I am your nurse.” You spoke firmly and clearly to her your voice holding familiarity that you hoped she would notice and clutching her cold hands. You looked deep into her eyes, willing her to come back to you.

“Mama, where are we? shouldn’t we get to the shelter the telegram said there’s another one due tonight” her distant voice more panicked now, her head whipped around the room, her face etched with confusion and worry, and you could just tell by her eyes, she wasn’t here right now. She started scrambling at the various blankets that caged her in attempting to get up, her movements jerky and urgent. You stayed calm, you always had to stay calm. You placed your hands softly and slowly on her shoulders, guiding her back towards the bed. She looked utterly lost and it broke your heart.

“Rebecca Barnes. You are safe. I am here with you, I won’t let anything happen to you. I’ll look after you” you repeated those words over and over until your voice didn’t sound like your own and the words didn’t sound real anymore tucking her back in to bed, tenderly smoothing down her soft hair. Calm tone of voice. Repetitive actions. Soothing nature.

 You left the house one hour and forty minutes later than usual however if it was up to you, you wouldn’t have left at all. You hated leaving her especially these days when she was becoming a danger to herself but ‘company policy’. You huffed and pulled your large coat tighter around your frame, loose tendrils of hair dancing around your face in the bitter wind, you hurried down the badly lit road and felt relief flood your senses as you quickly rounded on to a lighter and busier street with people whisking past you, arms full of shopping bags and you made a mental note to start Christmas shopping soon. It was 9:30pm but consumerism stops for no man and the multiple store fronts that littered the long road twinkled and gleamed with the achingly bright Christmas lights. You slowed your brisk walk down to a stroll and allowed yourself to take in the festive atmosphere, you reached the end of the street and stood idly by the bus stop allowing yourself a moment to just breathe, you closed your eyes and leaned your head back against the metal pole of the bus stop for a few golden, silent minutes, you shivered as a vivacious gust of wind and an obnoxious squealing of tires signalled the arrival of the bus and you jumped back up again thankful for the opportunity for some slight warmth.

 The bus home was uneventful and boring, and you jumped off at your stop, ecstatic to be so close to a shower, some food and your bed. You almost sprinted the block that separates the bus stop and your apartment block, your sneakers squeaking against the linoleum of the stairs as you took two at a time because the elevator was broken again. Three floors up and you arrived at your destination unlocking the door with freezing and fumbling fingers you almost threw yourself inside emitting a loud sigh as you did so your back pressed against the front door. Finally. It wasn’t much, but it was home, the apartment had a shared kitchen and living area and was all open plan, one door led off to your bedroom which was cosy to say the least and another door adjacent to your bedroom housed a big bathroom. You had filled the place with blankets, cushions, candles, fairy-lights and pretty much anything and everything to make the place homelier.

 “Rufus” You called out in a sickly sweet baby voice, crouching down and squinting around the large room and on command your very large and very fluffy ginger rag-doll cat Rufus came slinking out from under one of the many throw cushions positioned on the sofa, he plodded his way over to you and purred at all the attention you were giving him.

 An hour later, you were showered, fed and warm. You had Rufus cuddled up to your side and a movie you weren’t paying attention to playing on the TV. Your mind was in overdrive as it had been non-stop for the past month, chewing on your lip you pulled your laptop towards you opening it up to the last web page you had visited.

“Captain America and the notorious Winter Soldier fought side by side in elite World War Two special unit ‘The Howling Commandos’ sources say the pair share the same ‘Super Solider Serum’ famously injected into Mr Steven Rogers”

You had done the reading, you had done the research, this had been your night time routine for a whole month. Your eyes fell on the tatted black notebook that lay carelessly strewn on the coffee table in that book was everything you knew about James Buchanan Barnes, from when he was born, to when he ‘died’, leaked files from his years as a HYDRA agent, Captain America’s best friend and now taking up camp in the shiny new avenger building in New York. Rufus let out a soft meow beside you.

 “Yeah, I know buddy, I’m going insane” you sighed, scratching behind his ears.

 Your eyes drifted to the window and instantly fell on the distant, ostentatious silver building that was ‘Avengers HQ’ you raked a hand through your hair in frustration, if you knew one thing for sure it was that you needed to talk to Steve Rogers, he would know what to do however, you knew getting hold of Captain America wouldn’t be easy but it was proving to be frankly impossible. You had tried everything, you called and he didn’t take phone calls, apparently he doesn’t take meetings with random strangers, certainly doesn’t answer his emails (though you’re not sure if he even knows what an email is), you even turned up, at the tower and demanded to see him but you just got escorted away by security in the front lobby. So technically they had led you, forced you into this, you stared nervously at the white name badge you had placed neatly on the coffee table by the notebook. You had booked a day off work and somehow convinced Tony Stark’s administrative team you were an interested investor looking for a stake in Stark Industries, and it had taken a month to be invited to group guided tour of the tower to assess assets and talk numbers. All you needed to do was break away from the group, find Captain America convince him to help you find your dying patients brother, who happened to be his best friend, who happened to be a brain washed assassin, in a place full of high tech security and enhanced individuals. You groaned and threw your head back against the sofa your stomach turning with the nerves and your head swirling with all the possible things that could go wrong as you fingers massaged your temples.

You clambered into bed and set your alarm for 7:30am you let your head sink back into the fluffy pillows and shut your eyes in a feeble attempt to try and get some sleep. Tomorrow was going to be an eventful day.

Tag List (Let me know if you want to be added) 

@mizz-kraziii

[fatesinthenight]

Ed's Son (part 3)

Ed's other arrangement was having Katie in a cowboys and cowgirls experience. It was for the kids and they would be doing activities and looking at different farm animals and teach them stuff about that the cowboys did back in the day. Katie was really excited for it and ran to the group of children to join them feeling more confident. It even looked like she was already talking to some of the kids happily about her riding a horse. She went off with the group with some supervisors leaving you with Ed and Jr.

"Awwwww she's making friends." You watch your daughter talking with some other girls and they giggle together. You know she had been having a hard time talking to others and that worried you even if she came home from school happy trying to hide it from you. Seeing her feeling more comfortable made you very happy.

"Well she is a charmer." Ed said looking at you. "Gets it from you."

You laugh at that. "Sure she does."

"Well while she has her fun I signed us up for a ride along a trail. by the time we come back she should be done." Ed looks at Jr. "Ya ready to hit the trail son."

"Umm yea sure dad." Jr saids with a small smile.

"You ok son?" Ed saids looking concerned.

"O yea I am just ready to show (Y/N) that I can out ride you anytime." Jr. makes a cocky smile.

"Now that I want to see." You curiously.

"You trying to one up me boy." Ed makes a cowboy stance and raises an eyebrow.

"Maybe... maybe not." Jr. follows his dad's stance. "We will have to see now wont we."

You look between both of them and laugh to yourself. "Wow you guys are dorks."

You all head to the one in charge of the horses and he gets out three for all of you. Ed and Jr. have been on the trail before so they don't need a guide to show them around. They saddle up the horses and Ed does yours, Ed leads you up to the horse your going to ride. Its a lovely chestnut mare and you carefully take out your hand to pet it. You pet her softy and she neighs in response shaking her head happily.

"She likes you." Ed saids at your side.

"How do you know that?" You turn to him. "Are you a horse whisperer too?"

"Naw but how could anyone not like a cutie like you." Ed smiles at you. He puts his hand on your back and rubs it. You feel yourself blushing and smile at him.

Ed helps you get up on the horse and give you a small lesson on how to ride. For the most part he said to keep your eyes on him in which he saids of course you will because how can you not. You roll your eyes at him and don't respond making him pout. Jr. shakes his head at his dad thinking how did he ever get a date in the first place.

You all start off on the dirt path cutting through a open field. It leads to some trees that go along the path and gives you shade from the sun. Soon you are surrounded by trees and bushes. You look around to see so much green around you. You can hear some birds chirping and even see a doe with a fawn hiding in the brush. It was so peaceful you take in the feeling with a deep breath. Soon you see where the trees stop and you get out of the shade of the trees and see an open area. There their is a open field and a lake and some flowers along the field. "Its so pretty here.." You look at it in awe.

"I thought you would like it. Ya want a closer look?" Ed gets off his horse and ties it off at a tree. He helps you off and ties your horse off the tree with his. "Jr. come over with us."

"Im ok here. I prefer the shade." Jr. Ties his horse up to and lays in the grass under a tree close to the horses. He looks like he is going to nap closing his eyes. "Go on dad I'm good here."

Ed hesitates. He wanted this to be a change for you and his son to get to know each other better. He wants to say something but also does not want to push it if Jr. just wants to hang back. "Ok well we will be over there if you need us son. Just holler if you need anything." He starts to walk away but looks back at Jr. He really wants to say something and you can tell he really doesn't want to leave him.

"Dad I know your still there. Really im good. I don't want to be around when your being all romantic and stuff. And listen to all your cheesy lines." Jr. saids calmly.

Ed wants to say something but doesn't and starts to walk out to where the lake is. You follow him but look back at Jr. feeling something is off with him too. You both make it to the lake and sit on a boulder beside the water. The water looks so blue and shimmers in the light. You toss a rock into the water and watch the ripples expand. It really is a lovely setting but even so you look at Ed who sits beside you. Even in his sunglasses you can tell he is still looking back at Jr from his spot.

"Ed are you ok?" You look at him. You want to tell him not to worry but then he speaks up.

"I wanted this to be a chance for you two to get to know each other. HE seems really happy with it in the car.. I don't know why he doesn't want to come out here with us. Did I do something wrong? Did I say something that upset him?" Ed groans. He takes off his sunglasses takes a deep breath. "Sometimes I feel like we just don't see eye to eye sometimes... that he doesn't tell me what's wrong with him. I always let him know he can be honest with me but I don't know."

You look at Ed hanging his head. He looks so confused and concerned. "Have you two ever really talked before?"

"To be honest not really... I mean we don't even live together so its hard to when we are usually apart." Ed sighs.

"Ed why don't you two live together? If you don't mind me asking." You want to try to help him if talking makes him feel better.

"I didn't want Jr. to be in a house full of chaos everyday. I mean between everything Will does and how Dark just brings people down at times I didn't want him around that. I don't have a choice im part of them. I know technically Jr. is too he was made just the way I was but I wanted to have a better chance at a normal life. So I got him to go to school and got him a small apartment close by the house so I can still look after him. But even so he must think I just left him to do my own thing... and I didn't. I just wanted him to have a normal life more than I knew I would have." Ed looks so troubled. He puts his head in his hand goes silent.

"I think if you tell Jr. how you feel like what you told me it could help bridge to gap. Just tell him Ed." You put your hand on Ed's cheek and move his face up so you can see him. You never really had a chance to see him without the glasses til now. His eyes are a dirt brown, different from the shade of brown Mark's eyes are, and they look so sad.

"What if he doesn't want to listen to me." Ed is doubtful at this point.

"Ed he will if you let him know you really mean it. Look I know its not my place to tell you how to be with your son and I don't know about your guys relationship that much but I feel like he is waiting for you to tell him. He wants to hear it from you and the longer keep it to yourself the more he will grow distant to you." You take his face in your hands. "Before you two have a bad fight you need to let it all out with each other ok? Jr. loves you Ed. Tell him how much he really matters to you."

Ed looks at you in awe. You put your hands down but he catches one and keeps in on his cheek. He snuggles into it closing his eyes enjoying the warmth of your hand. He look back up at you and leans in to kiss you. His mustache tickles you slightly as his mouth moves against yours. You kiss back softly and move your hand up to curl your fingers in his hair. He puts his hand on your thigh and moves it up to your hip. He has technically kissed you before on your second date. He dropped you off home and when you thanked him for the movies he instantly kissed you. It took you by surprise and even if it was a fast one to you it felt like forever. You remembered he told you he couldn't help it and it had to be done. He even tried to bargain with you for a second one that day and you told him next time he does to do it that it should be when he feels it will comfort him. You said that jokingly but from the way he was kissing you now he really needed it. He pulls back and rests his head on your shoulder snuggling to your neck.

"I needed that..." Ed whispers. He stays like that for a while and sits back up putting on his sunglasses. "Ok I can do this."

"Right now?" You look at him surprised.

"Yea I need to now ya got me all in the mood." He smiles at you. "Wait for me here?" You nod.Ed turns to go then comes back and gives you a quick kiss. "I need one for the road ya know."

He then leaves to Jr who is still laying on the grass. He sits beside him and doesn't talk yet. "You stick out already dad? Please tell me you didn't use the cowboy lines again." Jr. jokes opening his eyes to look at Ed.

"No and come one ya know those are too good not to pass. I wanted to talk to ya actually." Ed saids carefully. "(Y/N) and I were a talkin and I just thought I'd come here to talk to you about some things."

"So it takes someone else to get you to open up to me on not do it yourself." Jr. sits up. "If you care so much now why didn't you care earlier?"

"Son I always cared." Ed looks seriously at Jr.

"Saids the man that keeps trying to sell me." Jr is starting to get mad.

"Son you know I don't really mean it right. Its just part of my thing when I was made. I cant really shake it off but you know I don't really want to sell ya." Ed feels it isn't going well.

"Are you sure dad because you got rid of me fast to live with all of your buddies." Jr. huffs.

"Its not like that at all son. I was just-" Ed gets cut off.

"No dad don't. It must really not matter to you enough to not even tell (Y/N) we don't even live together. Did they even know I existed when you first went out? Because sometimes it feels like everyone forgot I was even a thing." Jr. is shaking mad. "I mean how could I. I'm not an official ego like you. i'm just a random character that was made on the side for you the main event. So of course no one really knows me or really recognizes me when i'm out. I'm nothing compared to Ed Edgar the man that sells babies." Jr stands and unties his horse. He gets on and runs off.

"Wait Jr.!!!!" Ed runs after him but stops when Jr. get to far.

You hear this and run over to meet Ed. "Ed... are you ok?"

Ed looks at you sadly. He puts arms around you and snuggles to your neck again. "I'm a terrible father..."

[lifewasntmadeforeveryone-blog]

To the man that was my forever,

Beauty.

To the man i thought was my forever,

I don't know where to begin ,alls i know is this is my millionth letter i've attempted to write.

I don't even know what i think because everytime i go to write no words seem to suffice what i want to say. I dont think ill ever have the words. Because this isn't how it was supposed to end, this wasn't supposed to end. I wish i had a do over that court day, i couldn't think, i couldn't breathe, but mainly, i couldn't feel. Or maybe i could but it was too much at once. Guilt resides in me and i didnt realize it until i noticed i kept having nightmares. I feel guilty because i didn't get closure didn't get to say my goodbye, explain to you my side of that day on may 5th. SO i guess this is it, My final goodbye. Hopefully you've read it by this far and not thrown it away.

When you first went to jail i didn't know how to feel, i remember when DeDe showed up to your house that night on may 5th. I remember looking out that little corner of the front window that ugly yellowed curtain didn't cover and watching your face. I couldn't tell what was being said. Alls i know is you didn't look happy and any time DeDe came around i got beat after, and after the beating i just took my body couldn't take another slap. Even as i am writing this right now i can feel my heart begin to race rapidly and my hands become clammy as my hands begin to tremble.

I remember my heart climbing up my throat as every second grazed by. I stood there, whole body trembling, i limped to the back door and slowly with my unsteady hand i reach out for the back door screen door and push it opened, i remember hearing the loud click as the hardened plastic on the handle clicked opened, my heart stopped. I closed it and limped back to the front window to see what was going on and you were looking at DeDE i rummaged in the dark for clothes and all i could find was my pink velvet zipper hoodie and your shorts, couldn't find socks couldn't find shoes, no bra and no panties. I took one last glance at what you were doing and limped to the back door.

Demon started whimpering and i tried to calm him. I remember saying goodbye and kissed his head and took one step outside on the cold wet cement steps, i remember slowly walking and took my second step onto the dead grass and landed on a decaying leaf.  I swore it the crunch under my foot was as loud as a buckshot. After that i knew if i didn't run i would be noticed. So i sprinted like my life depended on it, darted through the small brush that i swore was gonna make me collapse, and i furiously searched for houses to knock on . I was on my third house when i looked back and noticed the second one i had knocked on someone emerged from, so i bolted and yelled as loud as my whisper could go undetected and she saved me. She called 911 and assessed me the best she could.

I stayed on the floor rocking back and forth, made her turn off all the lights because i knew you were looking for me. I heard a knock at the door and my heart slammed down my feet i swore it was you. But it was the EMS men. I shed a tear of relief because i was finally safe. They assessed me, took photos, i remember walking to the ambulance and as they pulled off i watched the yellow house get smaller and smaller until i couldn't see it anymore. I spent 5 days in the hospital and was unconscious for 3 of them, doctors said because of how much trauma i undergo that it was too much stress on my body to remain awake. Mom said only time id wake up is when she rotate her head when she rested her head at the foot of my bed and that my body would jolt and id look around.

I saw over 50 different  types of doctors, they moved me out multiple rooms, every time i was wheelchaired, everytime they wheeled me down a hall the halls got silent people started but tried to act as if they weren't. Everyone expressed their apologies and how they are glad you're in jail, i even had a nurse that drove from canada every day to here. Her son was a developer of Roblox, a more childlike version of minecraft. The last day was the hardest for me. I remember putting a hat and the blackest sunglasses i could find to hide my face.

I remember pulling out of the hospital garage and turning onto the main street and feeling the warmth hit my face, mom had the top down and sun radiated of my cheeks. I remember going home and feeling sick to my stomach as i sat on my bed looking around. It didn't feel like home. I stood up and looked outside the window and my gaze was stuck on the Lansing capital, hatred pulsed through my veins and i felt a sudden urge to throw up so i ran to the bathroom but only gagged. I went to splash water on my face but my appearance caught my eye. For the last week anytime i went to the bathroom i kept the lights off because my face make me wanna puke. I gingerly caressed my cheeks making sure to apply no pressure. My eyes were the size of rice, could barely see, for the last 5 days i has lubricant caked between my eyelids because who knew when your eyes swelled shut it would cause them to get dry and irritant. They pumped the highest dosage of morphine in me but nothing relieved the pain. I didn't leave my house for few weeks when i got home. I barely slept because the nightmares made me insomnia. I had to explain to Amelia, my little 9 year old sister why livy's face and body was torn up, she bawled her eyes. Everyday may 5th was stuck on repeat in my mind like a broken record player. It repeats much it began to blur together, until i couldn't hear your voice anymore.

It was June 27th when i miscarried. Days prior i was in and out of the ER trying to get answers as to why i was bleeding so heavily. But i'll never forget the contractions. My water broke and i didnt know what it was, so i laid back down. But the cramps was horrible. I was exhausted when i felt a sudden rush and as i glanced down a darkskinned blood soaked baby was dangling from me, its little arms and fingers, its little head . That fucked me up i couldn't breathe alls i could do was scream. The EMS guys came up to the apt and blood was everywhere, they had me slowly get up and the baby descended from me. They flushed it down the toilet without even calling their supervisor. That tore me apart. You know they had me do 12 different x rays, told me its urgent but i have a high risk of losing the baby?

Firstly i wanna apologize for being boge in the beginning, i wasn't committed to you because in my eyes we were a real thing, looking back we were more real then than we were in our final weeks together. I didn't realize you were giving me a chance then. I didn't realize what i took for granted until you became violent. It's partly my fault you became violent. So this my tell all i guess.

Secondly i wanna start with your cousins, Mike, Eldred , i never met mike before, it was around february when you went to jail for that warrant that you blamed me for because had i been at your house you wouldn't have been driving, i added him along of other relatives because i wanted support, i wanted them to like me, little did i know how bitter your family was. Eldred i met through one of my plugs i we became smoking buddies, it wasn't until he saw my bloodshot eyes when i explained a relationship didn't go as planned and he asked well who and i explained you and he was shocked. We only hung out couple times never did much because he was busy helping people get their cards.

Now mike, i didn't meet him until he started using the gas station by the apartments i use to live at apparently he was apart of a biker group or whatever you call it. I guess it was located down the road from me. That's when i really stopped leaving my house. Transferred to online school because leaving my house isn't safe, not when i had people facebooking me death threats. I didn't officially meet him until prime fest, i was leaving the concert and i saw him with his club dudes i guess you can call them. I saw him and yes, i walked up to them, i had to. I got beat over someone i didn't sleep with i HAD to look them in the face, and his buddy talked to me, as questions, asked what my name was and i didnt want mike to realize it was me so the best fake name i could up with was Olive, i slapped myself inside my head for that. But i had to meet the guy who apparently you thought was better than you. Alls i can say is honestly, he is no way attractive nor a guy id wanna hang with the idea of him being a biker guy is too intimidating enough. Let alone he towers over me.

Lastly,I want to say i'm sorry. I'm sorry i wasn't what we were suppose to be, i'm sorry i could save you, save us, or even save the baby. I'm sorry i didn't stay motivated to finish school or get a job, i just gave up when i moved into your moms. I'm sorry i made decisions in the beginning that were selfish and made you go over the edge. But more importantly, i forgive you, i forgive you not for you but for myself because without forgiveness i'll never be able to spread my wings and grow, i'll never seize the moment because i'll be stuck in fear of what could happen. I hope you learn to forgive me so you can grow and become a better you for your future wife because everyone deserves love. I just pray you become more wise and learn to control yourself, to stop blaming other for your actions, i pray you stay medicated because you shouldn't hear 7 different voices in your head.

But dont think ill forget the love once had, the showers we had, you slipping and almost busting your ass, the Vons Market munchie run, I'll never forget our rooftop blunts and vents or how demon was there for me. But the main reason i'm writing this because i'm closing the door to our horrided story. Im done letting it cower over me, i'm closing every existence to what was us, im letting beauty die.

So this is it Vincent.

My goodbye.

It's better to have been loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

Sincerely,