#this is my philosophy about life

[nillia]

Trust

[essektheylyss]

One thing that I feel is really interesting and often forgotten about Essek is that fundamentally, his characterization has been from the start based upon his desperation for external perspectives and connection, which, along with much of his narrative and mechanical positioning, means that he actually has an extraordinary and almost (but not actually, as I'll show) counterintuitive capacity for both growth and trust.

(Buckle in. This is a long one.)

In particular, I would argue, knowing now that many places where the plot touches Ludinus have long been marked for connecting back into the current plot, that he was quite possibly built as a prime candidate for radicalization by the Ruby Vanguard. He felt isolated from his culture, he was desperate for other connection, and he was certainly of the type to believe he was too smart to be drawn into such a thing, given his initial belief that he could control the situation and the fallout. If things had gone any other way, he easily could've been on the other side by now.

As such, he has been hallmarked by being fairly open to suggestion, perhaps for this reason, but the thing about that kind of trait is that it is both how people are radicalized and deradicalized. This is certainly true of Essek, who experienced genuine kindness and quite frankly strangeness from the Nein and was able to move from the isolation the Assembly had engendered to meaningful and genuine connection, largely propelled by his own internal reflection. By the time Nein are aware of his crimes, he's already begun to express regret to an extent and, furthermore, doubt in the Assembly, including explicitly drawing a line against Ludinus, even in a position where he was on his own and probably quite vulnerable.

Similarly, when the Nein reach the Vurmas Outpost some weeks later, he has moved from regret for the position he's ended up carrying a heavy remorse. This makes sense! He's fairly introspective, seems used to spending a lot of time in his own head, and was left with plenty to mull over. It's not some kind of retcon for him to have progressed well past where the Nein left him; it just means he's an active participant in the world who has done his own work in the meantime.

This is another interesting aspect to him. I've talked about this a bit before but I cannot find the post so I'll recap here: antagonists in D&D have significantly more agency than allied NPCs. Antagonists are active forces, against which the party is meant to struggle; allies are meant to support the PCs, which means they tend to be more passive in both their actions and their character growth. Essek was both built as an antagonist, in a position that gives him significant agency, and also was then given significant opportunity to grow specifically to act as a narrative mirror for Caleb's arc. Even when he becomes a more traditional D&D ally, he still retains much of that, though he occupies a supporting role.

I believe that this is especially true because of the nature of Caleb's arc, which I've already written on; the tl;dr of this post is that Caleb is both convinced that he is permanently ruined and also desperate to prove that change is possible. Essek is that proof, because he is simply the character in a position to do so. But this also means that his propensity for introspection and openness is accentuated! He has to do the legwork on his own, for the most part, because that's where he is in the meantime.

But he still ends the campaign necessarily constricted; he is under significant scrutiny, he's at risk from the Assembly, and he goes on the run fairly soon after the story ends. He spends most of the final arc anxious and paranoid, which is valid given the crushing reality of his situation. It would be very easy to extrapolate that seven years into this reality, he would be insular, closed off, and suspicious of strangers, even in spite of the lessons he's learned from the Nein and their long term exposure.

So seeing his openness and lightness now is surprising, but at the same time, given this combination of factors in his position in the narrative over time and his defining traits, it's not by any means unreasonable.

But one thing that I found so delightful is how much trust he exhibits, which is obviously a wild thing to say about Essek in particular, given much of what he learns is both earning and offering trust, which was something he says explicitly in 2x124 that he's never really experienced: "I've never really been trusted and so I did not trust." It makes up much of the progression of his relationship with Caleb, and the trust that he is offered by the Nein in walking off the ship is the impetus he needs to grow.

But I think it's easy to talk about trust when it comes to people who have proven themselves to you or to whom you've ingratiated yourself, and that's really the most we can say about Essek by the time he leaves the Blooming Grove. There is this sense in a lot of discussion of trust (not solely in this fandom) that it is only related to either naivete or love, but there's far more to it. Trust at its best is deliberate—cultivating an openness to the world at large is a great way to combat cynicism and beget connection instead. It allows a person to maintain curiosity and be open to experience, but it can be incredibly difficult to hold onto.

It is clear that the Essek we meet now is a very pointedly and intentionally trusting individual. He trusts Caleb and by extension Caleb's trust in Keyleth, as he shows up and picks up a group of strangers from a foreign military encampment and walks in without issue. He trusts the Hells to follow his lead moving through Zadash and to exhibit enough discretion so as to avoid bringing suspicion upon all of them. He trusts that Astrid will respond well to his entrance, but he also trusts himself and the Hells enough to execute a back-up plan in the case that she doesn't. In the end, he even trusts them enough to give them his name and identity.

He doesn't scan as someone who has spent half a dozen years living like a prey animal, afraid of any shadow he runs across in an alley, withdrawn into himself and an insular family, which would've been an easy route for him to take. He scans as someone who has learned the kind of trust borne of learned confidence and a trained eye for good will and kindness, which are crucial weapons one would need for staving off cynicism in his circumstances—as if he has survived thanks more to connection and kindness than paranoia and isolation. (If we want to be saccharine about it, he scans quite poignantly as a member of the Mighty Nein.)

So it is easy to imagine this trust and openness as a natural progression of his initial search for perspectives external to his own cultural knowledge. Though he makes those first connections with the Assembly to try to vindicate his personal hypotheses, he finds in them exposure to the deepest corruption among Exandrian mortals, which could've—and did, for a time—turned him further down that same dark path.

But it's also this same openness to exposure from the wider world that allows the Nein to influence him for the better, and in spite of the challenges he's certainly faced simply surviving over the past seven years, he seems to have held onto this openness enough to move through the world with self-assurance and a willingness to extend the kinds of trust and good will that he has been shown.

(I would be remiss not to mention that I was reminded about my thoughts on this by this lovely post from sky-scribbles and their use in the tags of 'light' to describe Essek's demeanor this episode, which is really such an apt word for it.)

[franeridart]

The Housecat Philosophy - Ep 45

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[kakapim]

Shinichi angst is so damn good. He's in his own body but it doesn't feel like himself. His life is "dead" even though he's alive. When he comes back he will never go back to his old self. He can go back to his body but his life will never be quite the same (for better or worse)

He was just a 17 kid who had dreams ambitions friends he had to "abandon". Imagine putting up an act 24/7 and not being truly able to say the things you actually want to. And yet- this false identity of his started to blend in with his "authentic" self.

He will have to "kill" Conan like he did with himself eventually. Like I know this this is the whole point of his character but I feel like it's easy to forget due to everything going on, and every so often I'm reminded of this and go bonkers over it. Does anyone get me 😭

[bachirasbodyguard]

Shoutout to one of my favorite Blue Lock beefs. No cunning, no grace, no restraint with these two. Just throwing hands ON SIGHT. God bless.

also shoutout to Shidou for being the only person who actually makes Rin lose his composure like that (and so easily too). king

((this post by @bluelock-textposts inspired me))

[docholligay]

I liked the folk song you exposed me to. If you feel like it, the first five that hit your mind go! I'll look them up and have a listen ^‿^

Boy I wish I could remember what folk song that was ahahah. I listen to a LOT of folk. A Favored genre. I basically listen to folk and country and then running music. Bless you for not asking for me to pick songs that are my favorites or particularly great, those almost always paralyze me for whatever reason.

HERE'S THE LAST SIX I PLAYED ON YOUTUBE THAT I THINK ARE MORE FOLK THAN COUNTRY

Billy Bragg -- Between The Wars

Iron and Wine--Passing Afternoon

Dave Carter--When I Go (Doc why are there two songs in a row about death? Mind your business, if you're not careful I'll make a whole playlist of the very best of death.)

Bright Eyes-- Land Locked Blues

Trials of Cato-- Gawain

Colter Wall--Sleeping on the Blacktop

And here's three bonus "if you know nothing about folk music here's some important foundational American Contemporary Folk music that you may have never heard" songs (In MOST of these the singers are important but the songs are just, ones I like)

Woody Guthrie-- I ain't got no home in this world-- You know this dude. He wrote "This land is your land". He's the one that has the guitar that says "This machine kills fascists" (Boy whenever people post something referring to that I want to be like, "WHOSE FUCKING GUITAR IS THAT FROM??? TELL ME WHO! TELL ME NOW!"

Pete Seeger -- What Did You Learn in School Today -- you know many many songs by this man. They have been covered by many many people. he wrote "Turn, Turn, Turn" he wrote 'Where Have All the Flowers Gone" he wrote "if I had a hammer" It is BUCKWILD to me that more people don't know who Pete Seeger is. Anyway i picked this song because both he and the below are part of my larger reeducation program that all generations have been politically aware, actually.

Phil Ochs--Draft Dodger Rag-- I fucking love Phil Ochs. He was the first one, by most reasonable evidence, to publish a protest song that named Vietnam by name. He was deeply critical of the US government. He wrote my favorite patriotic song too, though. He was a biting, funny, aggressive Jewish man who started fights even within his own circles (He directly attacks Pete Seeger, I know of at least, in one song. Bob Dylan shoved him out of a limo because Phil was dogging on his songs) and did not know when to fucking quit, and got himself into trouble. I consider his suicide to be one of the great tragedies of the music world, but also not the most surprising thing on God's green and verdant earth. I could give you just a top five Phil Ochs songs. Anyway, I picked this song because everyone picks the aggro ones, but I like also when he's funny. ANYWAY.

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

i think when the doctor says stuff that contradicts their own life like "ive never been this far out" it's not lying or poor continuity, i think it's just memory

[callernumberthree]

[jasontoddssuper]

You guys STILL think it was 'ooc' for Ichigo to not join the Soul Society?You do know that SS is a military/cop state and that he's literally a punk right?????

[stratospheric-bebop]

— The Uses of Intelligence, by Caroline Kizer, 1959.

[kingofthewilderwest]

Moral Orel hit me in a sweet spot. I think it’s beautiful seeing fans on different paths discussing how the show touched them. I’ve seen people who’ve left the church, agnostics, atheists, and Christians all say the show spoke deeply to them. Of course the show’s black humor on religion offended many, especially before its last season aired, but I think the show’s resulting legacy - connecting to people who’ve both left and who’ve stayed - demonstrates successful nuance to how Moral Orel was crafted.

The show’s creators have said it’s not against religion per se, it’s against hypocrites. Even with the first season, I felt that and found appreciation (frankly, joy) for what was satirized. Here was a show speaking up, exaggerating, and lampooning the facets of Protestant American Christian culture I’ve vented about in confidence to relevant friends and family - without, like many modern shows which tackle this subject do, mocking followers themselves, faith itself, and suggesting to viewers one way of life is better than another, one group of people is (ex: intellectually) superior to another.

Some people have stepped away from Moral Orel and said, “This show comforted me when I left church,” or outright, “This show taught me there is no god.” And that’s not an unfair way to interact with Moral Orel because it doesn’t preach what you “should” do there (a sign of mature writing, really). I stepped away from Moral Orel and said, “This show comforted me in the areas I get frustrated,” which assuages my feelings and makes me more confident in my faith and place within culture.

I feel awkward in contemporary culture because I was raised with minimal secular exposure - daughter of a worship pastor, student at a private Christian school until high school. Meanwhile, in adulthood, I didn't attended church functions for over a dozen years. My group of friends have largely been non-Christians who hold negative opinions about the religion and don’t live remotely similar lifestyles to what I was raised with. I love what I've learned from them. Unfortunately, this also means the cultural building blocks that make me who I am seem shared by no one I'm around, which, even though I'm in my 30s, remains disorienting.

On the flipside, I'm the weirdo with the third eye in Christian spaces, too. I’m an ever-thirsty knowledge-seeker who strives to comprehend forbidden topics from all angles. I spent my twenties researching, questioning, rebuilding knowledge, and critically analyzing everything about the Bible. Church attendees and services feel painfully artificial, with mental blockers to topics I feel are critical to understand.

In either community I partake in, I feel “off.”

I’m grateful to have been raised by parents who didn’t pussyfoot around issues, with a father who deep-dives research. Discussions, delving, and digging into the hard stuff has always been fostered. My family spoke to pastors when we disagreed with their theology. I grew up around people who practiced passive acceptance, but my family was not that.

In the last year, I’ve returned more strongly to my faith and have been reintegrating with the Christian community. In some areas, my faith has grown and, humbly, I’ve learned much from peers. Despite stereotypes, I want to note that, in certain fields, the church community has always been deep and meticulous! And there are so many beautiful and uplifting areas in the church. But likewise there are those areas that get assumed, aren’t questioned, and aren’t… responded to well by questioning spirits. There have always been areas in the church culture I find disingenuous, foolish, illogical, limited, oversimplified, denialistic, or susceptible to hypocrisy and immorality. I’m not better than any person on this planet, but I’m rubbing shoulders with a community that has different blinders than I do, who don’t even consider asking the types of questions or seeking out the information I find necessary for a solidified faith.

Moral Orel disparages the toxic elements of Protestant culture, the misinterpretations, the artificial facades, the mindless assumptions, the poorly-hidden underbelly, all the areas Christian community can and does go wrong. It makes me feel justified feeling awkward in two worlds: someone for whom Christianity is deeply important, but someone whose mindset doesn’t jive with the rest of the town. Someone who can find and wants to find the best lessons outside of Christianity. Someone who believes in questioning, rethinking constantly, raising her eyebrows at common notions within church culture, and striving for the actual love, sincerity, dedication, and goodness our faith should be based on.

[ceo-of-sloppy-men]

Uni is so weird because professors will be like "oh you guys have x assignment to do" and then...

proceed not to post the hand-in box until day-of

not post the assignment at all, even if they promised it would be posted yesterday

refuse to return your email inquiring how to improve in his class after following his previous advice and still getting a shit grade

pick on your argument for being repetitive of pre-existing arguments about the topic even after he told the class to absolutely under no circumstances look up other people's works

blow smoke up your ass about how grand your work is only to give you a B... in a class with a guaranteed B-... for writing...

I pay for this. Send me back to grade school at least then I don't have to worry I'm wasting my money.

[theroyalsavage]

i'm only 20 mins into netflix's atla but oh BOY do i already have thoughts

showing the genocide of the air nomads on screen raises a really serious challenge that this scene doesn't attempt to wrangle with at all: the air nomads were committed to nonviolence. like the tibetan buddhist monks they were modeled on, the air nomads' teachings surround the sanctity of life. throughout the original show, aang's fighting style is primarily evasive, when he does end up having to fight rather than settling a conflict another way. the air nation's commitment to nonviolence is also an absolutely key part of aang's arc in the third season, as he desperately searches for a way to end the war without killing ozai

so, like..... hang on???? would a people whose central teachings involve nonviolence leap into Ready-For-TV-Combat as quickly as the air nomads do in this show?? would they try to flee?? shield themselves??? reason or negotiate with the invading army?? would the air nomads even TEACH combat-focused airbending? would the average non-avatar air nomad be able to go toe-to-toe with a fire nation soldier in a battle like this????? why was their first response to immediately leap into a fight???

when the genocide takes place off-screen and we only see the horrible fallout through aang's eyes, what actually happens is left to the imagination. with the netflix show, we're left with an action scene that makes the air nation feel so thin - they start to feel like props rather than a rich and unique culture. one of the things that made the og atla special was its worldbuilding and i'm just. truly left SOOOOOO baffled by this adaptation already

[andromeda3116]

"One day when I was a young boy on holiday in Uberwald, I was walking along the bank of a stream when I saw a mother otter with her cubs. A very endearing sight, I'm sure you will agree, and even as I watched, the mother otter dived into the water and came up with a plump salmon, which she subdued and dragged onto a half-submerged log. As she ate it, while of course it was still alive, the body split and I remember to this day the sweet pinkness of its roes as they spilled out, much to the delight of the baby otters who scrambled over themselves to feed on the delicacy. One of nature's wonders, gentlemen: mother and children dining upon mother and children. And that's when I first learned about evil. It is built into the very nature of the universe. Every world spins in pain. If there is any kind of supreme being, I told myself, it is up to all of us to become his moral superior."

--Lord Vetinari, Unseen Academicals by Terry Pratchett

[thevoidsea]

All the world’s a stage

Shakespeare, As You Like It / Filth City, The Baroque Theatre / Grayling, Berkeley’s argument for immaterialism / Venice Carnival / sam sax, Hydrophobia / Doctor Who (2005-present) / Hannah Arendt, The Human Condition (1958) / Revolutionary Girl Utena (1997) / Punchdrunk, Sleep No More (2011-2024) / Ted Chiang, The Merchant and the Alchemist’s Gate / Pietro Longhi, Il ridotto (1720-1790) / Charlotte Riley, Why history should always be rewritten (2021) / Terry Pratchett, Hogfather / Diane Arbus, Empty Movie Theater (1971) / cyanocorax, i won’t be going gentle

[sunnibits]

you are so fucking right about babies. baby naps are hardcore the most cutest naps ever. i love babies i feel like that’s an unpopular around here but they’re just so cute. anyway real footage of me anytime i see a baby

REALLLL ME TOOOO!!! I’m always just like. holy shit a baby. holy shit ur so small. dude I hate to alarm you but um. did u know ur so small. like. are you aware that you are in fact just a little guy. itty bitty even. and the baby’s just like: 👁👄👁

anyways this is a real image of me at work every Saturday