#this is my rage arc against everyone

[amuseoffyre]

With Black Sails being back in streaming in some areas, I'm imagining how much it would infuriate the current slew of people who are convinced that watching morally gray/bad characters makes you as a viewer a morally gray/bad person.

Our leading man straight up beats someone to death with a cannon ball in the first couple of episodes and kills many many many people while acting out of grief, loss, remorse and rage. Also, he is baby and cries in his cabin.

One of our leading lady abandons and double-crosses her lovers (both male and female) out of her desire to do what she believes is the right thing to keep their world alive and running, trading, bartering and fighting every step of the way.

And the best part is that none of these characters start out this way. We have so many idealists. The hopeful ones who want the better world, but the better world isn't something 'civilisation' will allow them to have and the carnage comes when they try and change things. It's a scream against the injustices of the world that pushes people to desperate measures to hold onto and protect what little they have.

This is how they survive. They paint the world full of shadows and then tell their children to stay close to the light. Their light. Their reasons. Their judgments. Because in the darkness, there be dragons. But it isn't true. We can prove that it isn't true. In the dark there is discovery. There is possibility. There is freedom in the dark once someone has illuminated it.

Everyone else is ruthless, survivalist, determined to do whatever they have to in order to get what they want/need. People make horrible decisions out of desperation and because there's literally no other choice. And there are consequences. Each action causes ripples in the canon pool. No decision, no matter how reckless/hopeless/desperately made, comes without repercussions.

Unlike so many series, what happens in the episodes before directly impacts how the events that follow play out. Action and reaction. It's a narrative that begins long before we join the story and, when we leave it, it's a narrative that will continue long afterwards. It's a bloody, chaotic, glorious and devastating would-be revolution.

In case I hadn't mentioned it, I adore this show with every fibre of my being. It is packed with so many layers and so much nuance and history and phenomenal character arcs.

[hyperfixatedfandomer]

ATWOW extended cut: When one’s heart is opened in the face of death (my thoughts)

.

Ok I held back long enough, I think we have to talk about the Socorro Quaritch moments the extended cut provided us, because I’m obsessed with them. The dynamic that the fandom made up turned out to be true, with Spider being enabled to do as he wants during his time with RDA and Quaritch not once scolding him for his behaviour or "putting him in his place". Captivity was undoubtedly a very stressing time for him, a very emotionally taxing one but it’s interesting to see how the chemistry between these two characters bloomed. The scene where Socorro and the recom squad moved through the forest has shown just how fond Miles is growing of the kid, to the point where he lets go of his toxic behaviours and creates and environment in which the boy feels safe enough to go as far as leading recoms into traps. Also, it’s insanely funny.

The second scene is the extended edition of the Tau’nui village raid, with more violence and more tension. I feel horrible for these poor Na’vi, and for Spider, who got a little more screen time and with that, the movie makes it abundantly clear that Quaritch only makes the decision to burn the village because Spider was begging him not to take a Na’vi life. Not that it wasn’t clear before but I saw some ppl argue that Miles just has a “kind heart” (he does not.)

And then the cherry on top, the stand-off. A scene that should logically have never been cut out because it provides large amounts of character depth to everyone involved, but we’ll finally talk in depth about Quaritch and how he changed Spider’s opinion on him in just one minute of runtime.

Miles lets go of his charade of “I don’t care about this random kid” and frees Kiri, but Neytiri does not let go of Spider, instead pulling a knife to his throat. The Sullies panic, trying to bring Neytiri out of her grief-ridden trance.

And Quaritch tries so too.

His breathing is laboured, his ears pinned back, he was panicking. He asked her, in disbelief, “You really gonna kill the kid Mrs.Sully?”, and then told her, “You’re a warrior. Your fight’s with me, not with the boy.”

And Spider heard all of it loud and clear. He saw that horrible man whom he spent months with let go of his last ticket to victory, and then try and reason with a woman who holds him at knifepoint. I’m gonna quote @/soccorism a little on this, but Miles basically asked Neytiri to re-direct her rage from Spider to him.

Miles asked her to hurt him instead.

And after all that, how could Spider possibly have left him dying?

Every horrific thing he did is not cancelled out by his fatherly behaviour, but Spider had no time to ponder on everything and put his feelings to the side on the bottom of the ocean. The woman he knew all his life almost killed him, and the man whom he spent months travelling Pandora with pleaded with her to let him go. It was a decision made in a fit of emption, in a fit of sentimentality for a monster who got so strongly attached to him, he threw his mission out the window to ensure that he gets to live.

This cut of the movie provides so much more tenderness to the tragic relationship of these two characters, and ties the arc of their growing bond into a nice bow. No longer do we have to rely on glimpses of raw emotion and facial expressions. We have definitive proof that Miles and Spider had a bond, and a very strong one, which made both of the characters go against their respective groups for the sake of each other, and in the end?

It’s just the two of them.

[itsjustelian]

BEEFLEAF THOUGHT (Mainly He Xuan thought but fuck it he's intertwined with Shi Qingxuan and therefore all He Xuan thoughts are beefleaf thoughts)

So so so, in my readings of tgcf and the wonderful mess that is all of the internet thoughts on it I've come to the personal conclusion that to become a supreme you have to have *big* feelings. Very big and very deep feelings.

Our big-brained, obvious example of this is Hua Cheng. Man's big feeling is devotion, love. He is absolutely besotted for Xie Lian. Would do anything for his God. We're so proud of him for it too.

But He Xuan? He's the only other real supreme we have aside from Hua Cheng (Jun Wu, I'm sorry, you're wonderful but Godhood fucks with a man) and the idea that his big feeling that turned him into a supreme was rage and hatred never sat quite right with me. It's not that hatred and rage aren't powerful enough emotions to make a supreme, and those being his emotions on the surface make him a wonderful parallel to Hua Cheng. But rage isn't really what fuels him. If it was, he'd have dissipated after the Blackwater arc. Taken his revenge and called it a day.

Yet, he sticks around. He *never* dissipates. He just sits at the bottom of the ocean for all eternity. Which doesn't sound like rage or hatred. I mean, you'd assume a calamity built on hate would continue his revenge path until all of heaven is gone and no one can have godhood because he couldn't. But he doesn't. He just... waits.

This isn't to say he wasn't angry, btw. He was absolutely angry, and he had every right to be. His desire for revenge had to come from somewhere, let alone the emotional payment to actually planning and pulling it off. I just don't think that was his greatest regret/feeling/desire at death. I mean, He Xuan had his whole life taken from him. All of it. His family, his fiancee, his passions, his work. Everything he worked towards and for got stolen from him by others. And while it's clearly very rage inducing for him (I mean he has a mental breakdown and kills everyone who's ever wronged him), the underlying feeling through it all was probably despair. He probably just wanted things to go back to how they were when his whole family was around and alive.

And this despair and longing doesn't just go away when he learns the truth of what's been done to him. He's still a person. He can't just throw away those emotions because new ones have taken center stage. But rage is a way easier feeling to work with than misery, so He Xuan defers to it. He jumps on the bandwagon of revenge against the people who wronged him once again and goes with it. And it gets him through Mt. Tonglu and up into heaven and right where he says he wants to be. Right up until he can execute his revenge. And then he just stops? And decides that he's going to be best friends with Shi Qingxuan for a few hundred years first? I'm no rage expert, but that doesn't sound very revenge like to me. Which leads very neatly into the point of this post, took me a while I know.

He Xuan's reason for sticking around is he wants to be loved.

I mean, look at it. He says he hates Shi Qingxuan's guts and wants him and his brother dead more than anything, but also spends hundreds of years hanging out with this person he hates so much when revenge is right there? He could have done it whenever. There was no logical reason I could wait to wait as long as he did. Unless he was enjoying Shi Qingxuan's companionship. And Shi Qingxuan clearly loved him (even just platonically. We love our friends in this house). And He Xuan hadn't had someone care about him that much since his death. It was probably insanely overwhelming and equally as wonderful.

And then he fucks it all by actually going through with the revenge but feelings are hard and he's clearly not great with them so oops. But but but, his great famous line during the Blackwater Arc is him telling Shi Qingxuan that they've used the wrong name. He, even if it's just subconsciously, wants Shi Qingxuan to see him as He Xuan, not Ming Yi. He, in some capacity, wants Shi Qingxuan to see and love He Xuan, not the mask he had on.

But then, after the revenge, he doesn't disappear. He straight up goes out of his way to return Shi Qingxuan's fan to them. To make something right. To return something to how it was before.

Except this time, he can't blame the people around him for the change. He can't turn his rage at the rest of the world because he's the one who ruined the only thing he wanted for himself. So he finally, *finally*, has to face this sadness and longing that's been plaguing him from the start. He got his revenge, he got all the anger out, and it still wasn't what he wanted. Because from the beginning, all he wanted was to be appreciated and loved and wanted and not have that torn away from him.

And he fucked it for himself in the end because lets be honest if he had a civil fucking conversation with Shi Qingxuan and didn't literally threaten their brothers life things would have gone SO MUCH BETTER.

Anyway, I'm crying now. If you read through my jumbled 2 AM thoughts all the way, thank you. I will edit this when it's not 3 am. and post it.

---

Editing me: wtf was I on? I don't remember half of these thoughts??? I'm posting it because somewhere in this hot mess is a point I'm trying to make, and I'm not going to deny 2 AM Elian the chance to share it.

[autumnmobile12]

Point of curiosity, what happened to Touya’s room after he 'died?'

Trigger warning for child death. Sorta, you all know what happened. In any case, depressing topics below.

...

Since the house in the flashbacks is the same and they didn't move, did the family just close the door and Touya's old room is exactly the way it was after he left the house for the last time? No one ever goes in there, so now it's this eerie, forbidden territory in their home. Like that odd feeling one gets when standing in a room you know you're not supposed to be in. There's no human scent in there because it's been unoccupied for so long, so now it smells like dead air and dust.

Or is Endeavor the sort of parent to force a complete purge of any memory to avoid the guilt? Were all of Touya's personal belongings, clothing, school papers/projects thrown out or destroyed? Did Fuyumi and Natsuo have to smuggle keepsakes into their rooms, which they buried deep in the closets to avoid them being discovered and taken away. Is this something they kept to themselves because Shouto was five at the time and they were afraid he would say something he shouldn't? Was Natsuo young enough that Fuyumi feared he would blab and she handled it alone?

Aside from the photo on the funeral altar, do any pictures of Touya still exist or were those put away or destroyed, too?

Given the trajectory of his character arc, it's probably something he regrets, but in the days after Touya's funeral, I just imagine Endeavor going on a sudden rage-grief driven rampage of emptying his dead child's things/any physical reminder of Touya into the garden and starting a bonfire. Now the other three siblings have this surreal, chilling memory of their father silhouetted against the fire he made to burn out the last remnants of their brother.

Whichever is the case, I’m betting everyone avoided that room for years if they ever went in there at all.

And for the purposes of covering my bases, yes I'm aware Natsuo and Touya are clearly sharing a room here.

However, in a house that size where you'd expect the family has the space for four kids to have their own room and the fact Touya was showing increasingly erratic behavioral/emotional issues and clinging to whichever family members he could, I'm leaning toward this scene being a sibling sleepover.

[brisquad-unit-4402]

sitting with vox and the truth

(spoilers obvs)

happy the demon hungers everyone :D i did two watchalongs with my friends i hope we all show our appreciation to vox. he’s worked very hard and he’s very considerate of us his fans

this is all just to say that after a long, long, long two weeks i would like to rest so nicely on his chest. naturally i walked into this planning to write that but it turned into another vox breakdown fic which, really, couldn’t be a better description of unit 4402 if you tried

tags: gender neutral reader, angst, themes of self-hate, vox has a breakdown, spoilers for the demon hungers and the truth, ambiguous relationship (romantic intended but can be read as platonic; reader says “i love you”)

⚠️ spoilers for the demon hungers / the truth, vox akuma.

⚠️ contains self-deprecating dialogue

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

wings of melded leather and flesh writhe in the home of vox akuma. a dethroned lord, a wretched infernal. such a a wide reach. the talons of the wing threaten to scrape the ceiling with his greater height, while the membranous tatters hang loosely. if he represented Hell it would be a king’s robe. under wall and lamplight the sheet of skin is his chain.

gravity weighs down his voice all the same. it sinks his shoulders, drips off his hair and down his back. seven feet tall, with a shadow to cast over your body so small in comparison, and yet wind could knock him over as he stands his ground. the familiarity of gold within his eyes is gone but the guilt behind it is all the same, tainted in burning-coal. the smoke around his mouth and the embers along his tongue match the char. there is no fire. he’s put that out long ago. but what was scorched refuses to dwindle down to ash, remaining orange and red and that pink you swore you could see when there was nothing good on his mind.

nothing good, you thought, jokingly and enticingly. lightly. you see now that you were right, but without the fortune of intimacy.

he is scared, if he would be willing to admit it, and he is protective which he does. it’s why his hands are buried close to his chest, the swirling black-red, clasped together as if they were weapons. they are.

“do you understand?” vox asks. “i don’t deserve your pity.”

his frame is full with rage and power held dormant.

“i don’t deserve your attention, or your patience. or your love.”

a bead of ember rises from between his teeth. it fades to room dust as he grits them together.

when they snap apart an arc of flame accompanies it.

“It’s never been deserved. It’s never been okay. I have never been okay!”

the flames curl out of the air, following where the ember once went, room dust and hot air. without his hair in his face he can’t hide from the firing squad.

he can’t hide when you step forward, either.

“Don’t.” that’s what gets him to quit yelling. it’s replaced by inhaled cinder under his breath. “No, no, don’t. Don’t. Don’t.”

and quiet, you say, “you’ve held me before.”

“Don’t. Don’t. You can’t. No. Don’t.”

“and i’m nowhere near death.”

he backs away. “You don’t know that, you don’t know that, you don’t know, you don’t.”

“we don’t choose the bodies we’re born in. or the biology we function by.”

another step back. he doesn’t trip on anything. it’s the pure magma under his blood that sends him to his knees. “Get back.” a hiccup. “Get back!” his hands form tighter to his body. “Get away from me!”

“i trust you.”

“Don’t! Don’t! No! Away!”

“you aren’t hungry anymore. and i’m not in danger. i love you.”

vox’s back thumps against the corner of the wall. his hands tear apart. a prominent vein glides down the oil-slick arm. they tangle themselves into his hair. pale fingertips along bloodied streaks. white knuckles pulling at black locks.

he screams.

he screams again when you place yourself next to him, up against the wall, and bump your leg to him.

“if you could hurt me…” your eyes lower to where your legs are placed upon his. “then this would count. but i’m still alive.”

you look up to the ceiling. his talons didn’t scratch it but his horns certainly did. “and i’m still alive, and my soul is where it should be, with me.”

you cannot recognize the sound the voice demon emits.

“so i’ll stay with you. and we’ll figure things out.” with river under your hands you rub his arm. “do you remember this? it’s what i always do when you want me to help calm you down.

“that’s what i’ll do. just let it out. and i’ll be right here, and i’ll always be here no matter what.”

it’s a guttural, throaty cry across his register. a frog scratch.

“come on.” his blood twists under your touch. veins alight as live wires. “i have all the time in the world.”

“But I have been nothing but a blight.”

“i love you as you are.”

you place your head over his chest.

the first thing that happens is the draft from his wing wrapping around your face. your vision colors red. branches of uneven membrane along the wing’s flesh. so tight around his chest you don’t see a glimpse of the outside.

the next is how vox wracks himself over the lava within his throat.

your free hand takes over attending to him as much as you can, swaddled close to his chest.

through the wing, you can see how he forces his head away when he spits a flamethrower.

when the unpredictable flames raise to you and the wing-shield, it suffocates against the flesh. you don’t feel a shred of heat.

each fire is a bellow of pain gone unacknowledged for years. you don’t think he realizes his instinct to cover you. it would be a welcome validation if he weren’t lost in his own grief.

you spend the night beside the voice demon, listening to the shred of his screams. when he finds the courage to open his eyes, he shrieks for every moment that passes with your hand upon him, and soul within your confines.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

✧. ┊ masterpost ✧. ┊ kofi

[blazinghotfoggynights]

Go ahead and convince me that is just a friendly look. 😒 I'll wait.

Last night, I clocked it but felt I overlooked something. I caught "the look" going on, but I was missing something.

This morning, I see this and i have some thoughts. What if there is a bi arc but it isn't what we've all been speculating? Like the writers of this show wouldn't love throwing curveballs.

So, give me a minute and stay with me? Okay? Just hear me out.

These two seem very familiar with each other. I don't think Hen touched Tommy, but Buck easily reaches for him and Tommy turns into the touch before even looking at Buck. Then the return touch to Buck is just as familiar. It almost screams, "Go on. Get outta here!"

What if the journey for Buck isn't figuring out he is bi? What if the journey is his being bi being revealed to his family and friends via an old fling or an ex and figuring out how he really feels about Eddie?

Also, Tommy is staring Eddie down like a starving man seeing a buffet. (We get it, Tommy. Trust me. Millions of us would be drowning in a puddle of our own drool if that man walked by, so we completely understand.) He was about to follow Eddie and walk away without sparing Buck a glance. (Which is criminal because Oliver Stark is fire!)

So here are some alternative theories that are floating around in my mind:

1-Could the revelation about Buck happen because Tommy pursues Eddie, which pisses Buck off? If Buck and Tommy had a fling, maybe Buck tries to warn Eddie against getting involved with Tommy, because Eddie has mentioned in canon he is a nester and doesn't like games or just messing around with people and Tommy isn't the type to settle down. Buck is asked how he knows, and BOOM! Bi Buck is revealed. Buck is jealous of Tommy being into Eddie. Eddie finds himself hurt that Buck never came out to him, although Buck was never in the closet, his sexuality just never came up, and jealous that Buck would be with other men, but not him.

Cue both men going on a journey of self-discovery.

2- Tommy hits on Eddie. Eddie responds positively and begins considering opening himself to the possibility of being with a man. Eddie has the bi awakening. This leads to either:

a. Eddie discovering his possible interest in men and confessing to Buck, who then tells Eddie he is bi, too, and will support him no matter what. There is eventual jealousy, realizations, etc.

or

b. Eddie discovering his possible interest in men and confessing to Buck. Eddie explores his bi side, whether it be with Tommy or just trying dating men. Buck tries to be supportive, but his inner green-eyed monster rises and makes him realize a few things about how he really sees his best friend.

(Also cue multiple new plot bunnies! 🙄🙄🙄 Stills, interviews, episodes, random posts... The bunnies are hiding everywhere!

The silver lining of all this inspiration is my creative juices have definitely been flowing like a raging river. It's helping me find my muses for my original works.)

(Thank you to everyone who has read my fics, commented, left kudos, and been supportive. You are much appreciated! 😘)

[ladykailitha]

Royal Pain Part 26

Hello, and we have got to the end of the massive arc that culminated the last four chapters.

I also wrote this part before 24 and 25 because I couldn't figure out how to write Eddie having a hard time on tour, but the aftermath flowed from my fingers.

Also as a reminder this story is finished, I'm just posting on a regular schedule. This story is the longest fanfic I've ever written. Topping out at 58165 it's definitely longer than 50K fic I wrote for NaNoWriMo last year (Sandman, never finished or published.)

Pt 1 Pt 2 Pt 3 Pt 4 Pt 5 Pt 6 Pt 7 Pt 8 Pt 9 Pt 10 Pt 11 Pt 12 Pt 13 Pt 14 Pt 15 Pt 16 Pt 17 Pt 18 Pt 19 Pt 20 Pt 21 Meta Pt 22 Pt 23 Pt 24 Pt 25

****

“You’ve been sitting on that sofa for an entire week,” Wayne growled. “Steve has called three times, your bandmates at least a dozen times each. Hell, boy Miranda has been calling concerned. So want to tell me what’s fucking got you so twisted?”

“I was given a choice out there on the road,” Eddie said, twisting his rings around his fingers. “Stay in Indy and play small time gigs for the rest of my adult life or go to LA and get an album and the chance at super stardom.”

Wayne sat down next him. “Sounds like a big decision to make.”

Eddie leapt to his feet. “That’s the problem. That’s what makes me so angry how fucking easy the choice is.”

Wayne cocked his head to the side. “Sounds like you’ve got a lot on your plate again, boy. Start talking.”

Eddie started pacing back and forth. “As much as I loved playing for so many people, I didn’t like that I could only connect with a handful of them and not even the good kind.” He rubbed his chin angrily. “I didn’t like how tired we all were. It was set up, sound check, play, break down and move on to the next fucking town. And that wasn’t including all the parties, interviews, and all that other shit.”

“That does sound exhausting, Ed.”

“I didn’t like how easy it was for them to tell me to drop Gareth as drummer just because he had trouble adjusting to the increased volume. The price of fame they said. Like it was so simple to throw away almost two decades of friendship for the sake of adoring crowds and hearing our music on the radio.”

“Oh, darlin’,” Wayne said softly. “They didn’t...”

“Oh they absolutely did,” Eddie raged. “I didn’t like how they thought that because me and Steve’s relationship was new that I would be able to find someone better. Someone who liked metal, someone who would be down for the ride.”

Wayne furrowed his brow. “That doesn’t sound like good advice.”

Eddie grabbed his hair pulled at it frustration. “The last straw was when they offered to let their tattooist to finish my back tattoo, because while my artist was good, theirs was better.”

He stopped abruptly and turned to face Wayne. “I picked Steve to do my tattoo on my back because he was the only one I trusted to make it meaningful. To understand the symbolism of making something of yourself when everyone is rooting against you. I made the decision before I fell in love with him and now that we’re a couple– and for them to just dismiss him like that? It made me so angry.”

“So what’s the problem? What’s got you so twisted around the bend?”

Eddie took a deep breath and let it out slow. “I’m fucking furious because I always thought that when fame and fortune came knocking I would throw open that door and march right through it. But now? Given the choice? I’m slamming the door in its face and walking away.”

Hot tears ran down his face. “And I don’t know why.”

He dropped to his knees and began to sob.

Wayne stood up and put his arms around his nephew’s shoulders, gently pulling him to his chest.

“Did that band you were traveling with say that?” he whispered into Eddie’s curls. “Because if they did, I swear to god I will burn every record and CD you have of theirs. Don’t think I won’t. I’ll delete them off your phone too.”

Eddie chuckled weakly. “No, no. They were kind. It was everyone else we met. Agents, managers, roadies, groupies, the people around Metallica every day.”

Wayne nodded.

“I was just constantly bombarded with hateful messages and the constant running at one hundred percent...” he whimpered. “I don’t want to do it.”

“Have you told your band that?” Wayne asked.

Eddie shook his head. “I don’t dare to. I was the one that was gung ho about the touring and everything. How do I tell them I don’t want to leave the comfort of Indianapolis and home?”

“Kinda like that,” Jeff said from the doorway. His arms were crossed and he was leaning against the frame. Peaking around him was Miranda with a concerned look on her face.

Eddie scrambled to his feet and wrapped his arms around his waist. “I’m sorry I’ve been a brat.”

Jeff took three giant steps forward and hugged him fiercely. “You’re not being a brat. You’re scared and trying to figure it all out on your own, but you don’t have to, okay? We’ve all been worried sick about you. But Steve especially. I’ll call all the boys down for a chat and you call Steve, okay?”

Eddie nodded.

He dialed the number he knew by heart.

“Baby?” he asked, unsure of the reaction he was going to get. He deserved to be yelled at. Cursed at. Broken up with. He’d hurt Steve the most with this little temper tantrum he’d been having.

“Eds?” Steve breathed. “Sunshine, are you okay? Wayne said you hadn’t been eating well or sleeping much. Say the word and I’ll be there in a heartbeat.”

Eddie’s lip began to quiver and tears spilled out of his eyes. “I need you. More than anything.”

“I’m on my way,” Steve said fiercely.

Eddie looked over at Jeff.

“Tell Steve Brian will swing by and pick him up.”

Eddie nodded and relayed the message back to Steve.

“I’ll be at my apartment,” Steve said. “I’ll have Robin arrange my schedule, don’t you worry about thing, baby.”

“Mm’k.”

“I love you, Eds.”

Eddie closed his eyes and breathed in the warmth of that simple phrase. “Love you, too, pretty boy. Come quick.”

“I promise.”

*

Steve piled into Brian’s car. It was the newest, having bought it right before they got picked up by Metallica. He had finally saved up enough money to replace his beater.

Gareth and Gethin in the backseat. Gethin had come up to Indy to watch his twin’s apartment while he was gone and just ended up staying. He was currently looking for a job so that he could move in with Gareth full time.

At least that what they said on the trip down. The twins and Brian were intent on filling the air with talk and Steve let them. He let them fill him in on the tour and everything that had been going on since they’d left.

Steve couldn’t be for certain, but it sounded like that touring hadn’t been fun for anyone. Even after a week of rest, he could still make out the circles under their eyes and how hunched over they were with just sheer exhaustion.

A feeling Steve felt all too well.

Gethin was pressed against his twin’s side and was rubbing his neck soothingly.

Steve looked at Brian.

His face was set, hard and unflinching. He was going to make the drive to Hawkins as fast as he could and still avoid the cops.

Steve was grateful Brian was driving because he didn’t think he would have made the distinction to avoid breaking the law. He would have gunned it and flipped off any cop that tried to catch him.

After awhile, Steve was getting the oddest feeling that Brian was used to speeding down this stretch of highway because there were points where he would slow down for a few miles and then speed right back up.

Soon enough they were pulling up to Wayne’s trailer and piling out the car.

*

Eddie sat on the sofa with Jeff and Miranda on either side of him, just hugging him.

Wayne was busying himself in the kitchen, getting ready to feed the hoard that was about to descend on his home.

The door opened up and Brian, Gareth, and Gethin all stumbled through the entryway. Eddie was on his feet in an instant, Jeff and Miranda not far behind.

And then the trio at the door parted and there stood Steve. Looking just as tired and worn as Eddie felt.

“Stevie?” Eddie asked, taking a step toward him uncertainly.

Steve threw open his arms and Eddie ran straight into them. They wrapped their arms around each other and just sobbed.

“I’m here, Eds,” Steve murmured into Eddie’s neck. “I’m here. I love you so much.”

Eddie lifted his head and kissed him hard. “I love you, too. I regret leaving you behind, sweetheart. It nearly killed me. Every song I wrote was about you. About missing you. I don’t even want to leave you ever again, I can’t.”

The silence that followed that statement was deafening.

Steve led Eddie back over to couch and sat them both down. “Tell us everything, babe.”

And so Eddie did. He told them everything. Everything he had told Wayne, everything that had been weighing on his mind since they started touring. It all just came out in a flood.

They all listened patiently.

“Why didn’t you tell us you felt like that while we were on the road?” Gareth asked. “I knew what they were saying about me, but I also knew you guys wouldn’t drop me. If you had me about that I would have been able to reassure you that I’m not going anywhere, okay?”

Eddie flushed with embarrassment. “I didn’t know how to bring it up, it was so vile, man.”

Jeff gave his hand a squeeze. “Well, I think that you did a bang up job telling us now and that’s what really matters.”

“Someone offered to ship me out to LA and record an album,” Eddie finally admitted. “Not the band, just me. I told him that I wouldn’t go without you guys and he laughed in my face. Told me to cut the dead weight and be a star.” He dragged his hands over his face.

“But there were other offers. Good ones. Ones that included the band, well most of it, anyway. Always under the proviso that Gareth be replaced either on tour or all together. They didn’t want to make any accommodations for him even though there is a drummer with one god damn arm!”

“So the options are,” Brian said, “stay in Indy doing what we’ve been doing, only better because of the money we got for doing this tour. Go to LA without Gareth. Go to LA with Gareth but only as a studio musician and take some person we don’t know on tour with us. Does that sound about right?”

Just then Gareth’s phone went off. He looked at it with a frown. It wasn’t a number recognized so he let it go to voicemail. He pulled it up after the notification popped up.

He listened to message with wide eyes. “Hey guys, I think we have another option.” And he played the message so everyone could hear.

“Hey, Mr Hughes,” the tinny voice said through the speaker. “This is Murray Bauman, I’m music producer, we spoke in Las Vegas. I think I have the perfect deal for you boys. You were telling me that touring was really hard on you and that if there was an option you wouldn’t do that. I know you weren’t speaking for all your band, but I could tell that they would do anything for you, all four of you being such good friends.

“So the reason for this call is that I own a small music company in Bloomington and boy do I have a deal for you all. You would make a record through us, we would sell and distribute the record, keeping a portion of the sales, of course. But you wouldn’t have to tour. You have a steady gig as I understand it. If your fans want to see you play, they’ll know where to find you.

“But give me a call, we’ll hash out the details. My phone number is 555-555-2080...” and then message beeped, signaling the end of the voicemail.

Eddie looked down at the phone and then back up at Gareth. “Oh.”

Gareth grinned. “We don’t even have to take his offer, but I vote we listen to it. Brian can bring Cecil.”

Brian nodded. “He’s only got a semester left of law school, but I’ll have him brush up on his contract law to be on the safe side.”

Jeff raised his hand. “All in favor of hearing Mr Bauman out raise your hand?”

Eddie, Brian, and Gareth’s hands shot up.

“Sounds good,” Jeff said. “You call him back and set it up and if it doesn’t work out we can vote again.”

Brian shook his head. “Nah. I think if it doesn’t work, we stick to Nightmare Holes. We took a swing at it and if it’s a miss then we tried. I thought I wanted the touring and everything that came with stardom, but like Eddie I learned I wanted the romanticized version of it. I’ll be happy playing in front of our friends for the rest of our lives.”

The rest of the band nodded.

Soon everyone getting up to go back to Indy, but Steve stayed behind, he would go back up with Eddie in the morning. They had things to discuss that went deeper then the band.

****

Part 27 Part 28 Epilogue

I told you I would fix it.

Also a little BTS, the reason in my head for why things went wrong on tour but immediately righted itself when Eddie and Steve met up again? Steve still has Eddie's lucky pick. ;)

Tag List: @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @artiststarme @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 @pyrohonk ​@bookworm0690 @chaosgremlinmunson @goodolefashionedloverboi @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence @plyerice27 @thedragonsaunt @sapphirecobalt-1 @a-little-unsteddie @i-must-potato @danili666 @carlyv @rozzieroos @wonderland-girl143-blog @itsall-taken @justforthedead89 @emly03 @aizawa-emma @yikes-a-bee @redfreckledwolf @thesuninyaface @bookbinderbitch @archermightbegay @littlewildflowerkitten @scheodingers-muppet @hallucinatedjosten @ellietheasexylibrarian @anne-bennett-cosplayer @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @bestwifehaver @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @oldwitcheshat @nightmareglitter @tinyplanet95 @novelnovella @jonesn4coffee @slowandsteddie @awkwardgravity1 @steaddie-on

[mirabel-on-a-bicycle]

Here's the thing about the royal family not fully understanding that Wilhelm and Simon were *truly* in love though.

And subsequently, why Wille's coming out to the entirety of Sweden was so so powerful: them not knowing, or simply refusing to acknowledge this, no matter how many times he tried to tell them, actually gave Wille a much higher edge over everyone trying to cover up the scandal, even if he didn't realise this at first.

Every single person had a misunderstanding that this was something he wanted. That they were doing him an obvious favor by helping him cover it up, preparing a speech for him, threatening him whenever he got sidetracked. Or at least something he'd see sense in once he got past that "hormonal driven teenage tantrum" and understand that covering it up was the best course of action. Of course he wouldn't bring the other boy and his feelings into all of this. Simon was just an experiment right? Who'd go so far as to sabotage themselves to bring justice to someone they didn't even love and care about?

And this. this exact misassumption was what eventually brought them all down in the end.

Take August for example. If he had secrets and lies as his weapons and to keep his crimes in the dark, Wille had the truth. A whole truth bomb in the palm of his hand, all this time. And no matter how ballsy Wille was trying to be in that "I'm gonna slowly ruin August's life" mission of his, he was still fighting fire with fire. He only won when he clashed against August as an exact antithesis of him in that coming out speech. August's whole plan was doused only when Wille spoke the truth and refused to play along with his games.

I mean really, had he not done this, what would've happened at worst? August would've.. gotten voted out of being rowing captain?? Maybe he would suffer a bit then, but would it really matter in the long run? August knew that, and so did Wille, deep down, but he ignored that part and instead convinced himself that he was at least doing something to make himself feel better.

Because honestly?!

August never understood, or even cared to! He'd pretend to be sorry whenever needed and go right back to being where he was if needed, as long as he was gonna be king. The moment August actually. genuinely lost to him was when Wille did something not out of hatred for August, but out of love for Simon. And when he did, without having August in his mind, but the person he loved and cared about, he made it impossible for August to go anywhere from there on. It wasn't revenge, it was reconciliation that finally got him. (And simultaneously saved Wilmon's relationship too, for that matter 👀)

This has such poetry in it btw?? I can't properly explain it, but it does remind me of atla and Zuko's arc in a way. How there's a whole world of difference between his firebending when it's fueled by rage, and when it's fueled by wisdom, focus and harmony within the elements. The difference in outcome is so visibly there when the motivation is switched, and when Wille has love and understanding and bravery in his heart instead.

The whole time, the entire Hillerska staff, student body, royal court and royal family and tHEIR ROYAL FAMILIES- *deep breath* WERE AFTER MY BACHCHA had anticipated Wille to lash out for having his royal image tainted and getting at odds with his family but the fact that he'd do it on Simon's behalf never even crossed their brilliant little minds. They had equiped themselves, sure, but never for this >:) Because for all their brains and strategising, no one had actually sat down and thought for once that Wilmon were actually in love. There was a power in it that no one had anticipated.

[kaftan]

Some Notes on Arcs 18-20

(Long post! Here there be ramblings! Sorry)

- I forgot this was an arc 18 moment till I checked — Taylor feeling seduced (her words) by Dinah’s power, longing to hold on to her despite her mission being to free her… goosebumps. I love how the villains she hates rub off on her, worm (ha) into her.

- And then describing the act of returning her to her home as throwing away a resource… something that felt dumb to do… being proven right, in a sense, in arc 20, when it comes back to bite her… I’m reminded of some dialogue from animorphs that I’ll have to paraphrase, something about how what matters isn’t what’s right or wrong, it’s what’s expedient. Taylor isn’t all the way there yet, but feels like a matter of time.

- More on Taylor and morality: it’s fascinating to see her go through the same rough trajectory for every major battle — she starts from her baseline, being disturbed at the notion of seriously hurting or killing anyone, slowly numbs that sentiment with plenty of half-hearted strands of reasoning, eventually escalates to the point of cold-blooded violence or the enablement of such… and feels nothing. “Dissociation as an integral aspect of being” moment!

- I love Jessica Yamada. Not enough to read Ward, I have my limits. Getting a better perspective on the “all Amy’s horses and all Amy’s men couldn’t put Victoria back together again” situation was a treat. I love the horror elements in Worm. I love the horror of having the face of your trauma etched into the folds of your brain.

- Met Sveta! People on tumblr namedrop her a lot, to the point where I wondered if she’d been introduced before and I forgot. She’s a darling.

- Lily’s meltdown about Skitter… you can’t even look straight at her without feeling your skin crawl ❤️ but she sounds idealistic and naive even with cockroaches and bees crawling over her face ❤️ she starts making sense ❤️

- [Trickster voice] my beautiful gamer princess with a disorder… talk to me…

- This quote here:

“I mentioned it in passing to Miss Militia,” I said, “Better that you tell the truth and say we pushed hard for it. Blame me.”

“No,” Regent said, “Blame me.”

I shot him a look, and he shrugged. “Just wanted to get in on the fun,” he said.

says so much about Alec, lmao. It flagged in my brain because it’s the second time I’ve consciously noted it: his jokes about wanting to be included speak volumes. The truth he does not dare to know, etc etc

- Taylor “we cannot rule out human sacrifice” Hebert

- Marissa: She’s my friend. / Taylor: Was. It’s a big difference. Fast forward: Emma interlude, crossing paths at Arcadia. I love storytelling.

- Speaking of the Emma interlude: reading about Taylor’s bullying always makes me feel queasy; this was bone nausea on a deep level. What happened to Taylor is like if your worst fears about other people came true. You know, the nagging worry that you’re a burden, that a late text means I don’t want to be your friend. The worry that any reasonable person will tell you to ignore. How the fuck do you come back from living that nightmare?

Reminds me of Amy, how what happened to her is like if your worst fears about yourself came true.

- Everyone always talks about Taylor’s repressed rage but holy shit her repressed rage. What a character. What a character. I love her fantasies of violence. I love how much she basks in that meager catharsis.

- There’s something beautiful about how effortless the supervillain persona is for Taylor. (Every you is the real you, you are the mask and the wearer, etc.) Her standoff against Dragon and Defiant might be one of my favorite scenes yet. The perfectly affected nonchalance, the hanging threats toward hostages (becoming a theme), the mile-a-minute plotting, the grandiose gestures, the leveraging of fear… she’s a wonder and a terror.

- When she smiles and Clockbocker says “Fuck me, it just sunk in. It’s really her.” :-)))

- “and so that Defiant could make something resembling an apology as part of his twelve step assholes anonymous process” I fucking love you Taylor I love you forever

[fourthwingfan]

Madness - Chapter 19

Surpriiisee. I'm done with the next chapter.

And thank you, you are all so supportive. ❤️

Enjoy! :)

In response to the Great War, dragons claimed the western lands and gryphons the central ones, abandoning the Barrens and the memory of General Daramor, who nearly destroyed the Continent with his army. Our allies sailed home and we began a period of peace and prosperity as the provinces of Navarre united for the first time behind the safety of our wards, under the protection of the first bonded riders.

—Navarre, an Unedited History by Colonel Lewis Markham

What. The. Hell.

It’s as if everyone in the room has turned to stone, but I know that can’t be true. I can see Violet as she moves away from the guy who holds her. I can feel the guy’s warm hand in my hair, his skin malleable under my fingers as I shove his hand away from me.

And…I just stand there. What the hell?!

„Quickly, we need to move!” I wince at Vi’s hoarse voice as she breaks the silence.

Complete, unearthly silence.

The clock on the desk isn’t tickin. No one breathes. Their gazes are frozen. To the left, the woman I sliced open is hunched over, and the man I stabbed is leaned against the wall on the right, staring in horror at his thigh.

I mark time in thunderous heartbeats as we stumble into the only open space in the room, but our path to the now-open door isn’t clear.

Xaden fills the doorway like some kind of dark, avenging angel, the messenger of the queen of the gods. He’s fully dressed, his face a mask of veritable rage as shadows curl from the walls on either side of him, hanging in midair.

For the first time since crossing the parapet, I’m so fucking relieved to see him that I could cry.

Violet gasps beside me – and chaos resumes.

„It’s about damned time.” Aon rumbles.

Xaden’s gaze snaps to mine, his onyx eyes flaring in shock for no longer than a millisecond before he strides forward, his shadows streaming before him as he stands at our side. He snaps his fingers and the room illuminates, mage lights hovering above us.

“You’re all fucking dead.” His voice is eerily calm and all the scarier for it.

Every head in the room turns.

“Riorson!” The man’s dagger clatters to the floor who held Violet.

“You think surrendering will save you?” Xaden’s lethally soft tone sends goose bumps up my arms. “It is against our code to attack another rider in their sleep.”

“But you know he never should have bonded her!” He puts his hands up, his palms facing us. “You of all people have reason enough to want the weakling dead. We’re just correcting a mistake.”

“Dragons don’t make mistakes.” Xaden’s shadows grab every assailant but that man by the throat, then constrict. They struggle, but it doesn’t matter. Their faces turn purple, the shadows holding tight as they sag to their knees, falling in an arc in front of me like lifeless puppets.

I can’t find it in my heart to pity them.

Xaden prowls forward as though he has all the time in the world and holds out his palm as yet another tendril of darkness lifts a discarded dagger from the floor.

“Let me explain.” The man eyes the dagger, and his hands tremble.

“I’ve heard everything I need to hear.” Xaden’s fingers curl around the hilt. “She should have killed, but she’s merciful. That’s not a flaw I possess.” He slashes forward so quickly that I barely catch the move, and his throat opens in a horizontal line, blood streaming down his neck and chest in a torrent.

He grabs for his throat, but it’s useless. He bleeds out in seconds, crumpling to the floor. A crimson puddle grows around him.

“Damn, Xaden.” Garrick walks in, sheathing his sword as his gaze rakes over the room. “No time for questioning?” His glance sweeps to us as if cataloging injuries, catching on my bloodied face.

“No need for it,” Xaden counters as Bodhi enters, doing the same quick assessment Garrick had. The similarity between the cousins still gives me pause. Bodhi has the same bronzed skin and strong brow line, but his features aren’t as angular as Xaden’s, and his eyes are a lighter shade of brown. He looks like a softer, more approachable version of his older cousin, but my body doesn’t heat at the sight of him the way it does around Xaden.

An illogical laugh bubbles up through Violet’s lips, and all three men look at her like she’ve hit her head.

“Let me guess,” Bodhi says, rubbing the back of his neck. “We’re on cleanup?”

“Call in help if you need it,” Xaden answers with a nod.

„Are you okay Vi?” I turn to her and gently grab her arms.

Oh my god. I have a terrible nasal voice. If that man wasn’t already dead I would kill him for breaking my nose.

„I’m alive. I’m alive. I’m alive.” She repeats it again and again.

„Yes. You’re alive.” Xaden says as he steps over the bodies toward Violet’s armoire with her daggers in his hand.

Garrick and Bodhi haul out the first bodies.

„I didn’t realize I’d said that out loud.” She says and starts shaking like a leaf.

„It’s the shock.” I say gently and move her toward her chair. „Sit. It’ll be better, just breathe.”

„Are you hurt?” Xaden asks while whipping Violet’s cloak from its hook and retrieving a pair of boots. His words are clipped.

Silence.

“Come on, Violence.” His cajoling words are at odds with his terse tone as he folds the cloak over his arm and brings the boots through the remaining bodies he’s left on the floor. “Pull your shit together and tell me where you’re hurt.”

That nickname again.

“You’re breathing like crap, so I’m guessing it has to do with—”

“My ribs,” she finishes before he can guess. “The one by the bed hit the side of my ribs with the sword, but I think they’re just bruised.”

“Must have been a dull sword.” He cocks a dark eyebrow. “Unless it has something to do with why both of you sleep in your leather vest.”

“Trust him,” Aon demands.

 “I have trust issues if you couldn’t tell. It’s not that easy.”

“It has to be for now. And I burn him alive if he ever hurts you.”

“It’s dragon-scale.” I say and move so that the light shines on it. “Mira made it for us.”

 He glances between our bodies, his mouth tensing before he nods once.

„And you, Sunshine?” He asks before moving in front of me. „That’s a lot of blood.”

„Yeah, well not all of it is mine,” I shrug. „And maybe I pissed one of them off a bit, and he broke my nose.”

„You and your big mouth, Sunshine.” He sighs in exasperation.

Before I can argue that point, his gaze shifts to my face and narrows at what I imagine has to be incipient brusing. “I should have killed him slower.”

„And your ribs? He hit you really hard.” Violet asks from her seat.

„Sunshine?” Xaden asks with a raised eyebrow.

I sigh. Fine. „It hurts a little but my face is worse than that. Not worth mentioning.”

“Never lie to me.” He says it with such ferocity, bit out through gritted teeth.

„I would promise, but there are secrets I can’t tell you.” I whisper and I can hear the sadness in my voice. „Sometimes I have to put my life first. Secrets can kill you in the wrong hands.”

He looks at me with an indecipherable look, then nods.

„Then be honest with me when you can.” He says quietly and his gazes softens.

My heart flutters.

“My nose hurts, and my ribs too.” I admit.

“Let me see.” I open and shut my mouth twice. I don’t know what to say and I simply nod. I’m tired of arguing. I let him do what he wants. At least tonight I don’t have to control everything.

Two other men walk in through the open door, Garrick and Bodhi following closely after. They’re all…dressed. Fully clothed at—I glance at the clock—two a.m.

“Take those two, and we’ll get the last ones,” Garrick orders, and the others get to work, carrying the last of the bodies out through the door. I can’t help but notice they all have rebellion relics shimmering up their arms, but I keep the observation to myself.

“Thank you,” Xaden says, then flicks his hand and the door shuts with a soft click. “Now, let me see your injuries. We’re wasting time.” He turns to Violet. „And you… go and get dressed.”

She must be quite shaken up because with a glance at me she goes to her armoire and does as he said.

 I swallow, then nod.

He cradles my face in his hands and tilts my head to observe my face. I flinch when he lightly touch my nose.

„Sorry, Sunshine. But it’s not that bad.” He slowly drops his hand. „Nolon can mend it in the morning. Now let me see your ribs.”

I sigh. Better to know now if they’re broken anyway. I turn my back on him, but I can see his face in the full-length mirror. “You’ll have to—”

“I know how to handle a corset.” His jaw flexes once, and something that reminds me of raw hunger flitters across his expression before he locks it down, drawing my hair over my shoulder with surprising gentleness.

His fingers skim my bare skin and I suppress a shiver, locking my muscles so I don’t arch into his touch.

What the hell is wrong with me? There’s still blood on the floor, on me and yet my breaths are tight for the entirely wrong reason as he makes quick work of the laces, starting at the bottom. He wasn’t lying. He absolutely knows his way around a corset.

“How the hell do you get yourself into this thing every morning?” he asks, clearing his throat as inch after inch of my back is exposed.

“I’m freakishly flexible.” I answer over my shoulder and laugh at him. Our eyes meet, and warmth flutters through my stomach. The moment is gone as quickly as it came, and he pulls my armor apart, inspecting my right side. Gentle fingers stroke over the abused ribs, then prod carefully. Then he repeats it on the other side.

“You have one hell of a bruise, but I don’t think they’re broken.”

“That’s what I thought. Thank you for checking.” It should be awkward, but somehow it isn’t, even as he laces me back up, securing the ends.

“You’ll live.” He says as I turn around to face him.

„I’m ready. Where are we going?” Violet asks, and I can feel myself blushing.

Oh my god. She saw it all.

„Well… I should go and get dressed to. I’m not exactly decent.” I look at my corset and short.

„We don’t have time.” Xaden shakes his head. „Here, put it on.” He says as he shrugs off his flight jacket and gives it to me.

Without a word I take it from him.

“Let’s go.” He helps me put it on, like I’m something precious. Now I know I’m hallucinating it because I’m anything but precious to Xaden Riorson. He grasps my hand and tugs me into the hallway, Violet following us. His fingers are strong as they curl around mine, his grip firm but not too tight.

He gave me his jacket. It’s huge, and it has such a nice smell. It’s his scent. Mint and leather.

Every other door is shut. The attack wasn’t even loud enough to rouse the neighbors. We’d be dead by now if Xaden hadn’t shown up, even if we managed to get out of their hold. But how did that happen?

“Where are we going?” The hallways are dimly lit by blue mage lights, the kind that signal it’s still night for those without windows.

“Keep talking loud enough for others to hear, and someone will stop us before we get anywhere.”

“Can’t you just hide us in shadows or something?” Violet asks.

“Sure, because a giant black cloud moving down the hallway isn’t going to look more suspicious than a couple sneaking around, and you’re so small Violet, that nobody will notice you if you stay behind us.” He shoots us a look that keeps us from countering.

Point taken.

Not that we’re a couple.

Not that I wouldn’t climb the man like a tree if presented with the right set of circumstances. I cringe as we make it to the main hallway of the dormitory. There will never, ever be a right set of circumstances when it comes to him.

But in my defense, and in a sick, twisted way, his rescue was pretty damned hot, even if he is hauling me down the hallway at an untenable speed. Even if he only did it because Violet’s life is tied to his. My chest screams for a break, but there’s none to be found as he leads us past the spiral staircase that leads up to the second- and third-year dorms and into the rotunda.

Our boots against the marble floor are the only sounds as we pass into the academic wing. Instead of turning left, toward the sparring gym, he takes us right, down a set of stairs that I know leads to storage.

Halfway down the steps, he pauses, and I nearly run into the sword strapped to his back. Then he gestures with his right hand, keeping mine in his left.

Click. Xaden pushes on the stones and a hidden door swings open.

“Holy shit,” I whisper at the expansive tunnel revealed before us.

“Hope you’re not afraid of the dark.” He pulls me inside, and suffocating darkness envelops us as the door closes.

This is fine. This is absolutely fine. Just breathe.

“But just in case you are,” Xaden says, his voice at full volume as he snaps. A mage light hovers above our head, illuminating our surroundings.

“Thanks.” The tunnel is supported by arches of stone and the floor is smooth, as though it’s been traveled more than its entrance lets on. It smells like earth but isn’t dank, and it goes on for what seems like an eternity.

He drops my hand and starts walking. “Keep up.”

“You could—” Violet winces. “Be a little more considerate.” We trudge after him.

“I’m not going to baby you like Aetos does,” he says without turning around. “That’s only going to get you killed once we get out of Basgiath.”

“He doesn’t baby me.”

“He does and you know it. You hate it, too, if the vibe I’m picking up on is any indication.” He falls back to walk at our side. “Or did I read that wrong?”

“He thinks this place is too dangerous for someone…like me, and after what just happened, I’m not sure I can really argue with him. I was asleep. That’s the only time we’re supposed to be guaranteed safety around here. I don’t think I’ll bother sleeping again.” she shoots a look sideways at his profile. “And if you even think about suggesting that you sleep with me for safety from now on—”

He scoffs. “Hardly. I don’t fuck first-years—even when I was one—let alone…you.”

Ouch. There goes my fantasies. I’m a first-year after all. But deep in my heart I’m glad, that he is not attracted to Violet.

“Who said anything about fucking?” She fires back. “I’d have to be a masochist to sleep with you, and I can assure you, I’m not.”

“Masochist, huh?” A corner of his mouth quirks into a smirk.

“You hardly give off snuggly morning-after vibes.” A smile curves on her lips. “Unless you’re worried about me killing you while we sleep.” We round a corner, and the tunnel continues.

“I have zero concern about that. As violent as you are, and skilled with those daggers, I’m not even sure you could kill a fly. Don’t think I didn’t notice that you managed to wound them and never went for a kill shot.” He shoots a disapproving look her way.

“I’ve never killed anyone,” She whispers like it’s a secret.

“You’re going to have to get over that. All we are after graduation are weapons, and it’s best if we’re honed before leaving the gates.”

„That’s enough, both of you. You argue like children.” I roll my eyes. “Is that where we’re going? Are we leaving the gates?” I ask Xaden. I’ve lost all sense of direction in here.

“We’re going to ask Tairn what the hell just happened.” Xaden’s jaw flexes. “And I’m not talking about the attack. How the hell did they get past the locks?”

Violet shrugs but doesn’t explain.

“We’d better figure it out so it doesn’t happen again. I refuse to sleep on your fucking floor like some kind of guard dog.”

“Wait. This is another way to the flight field?” I do my best to mentally wall off the pain in my face. “Will you be there too?” I ask Aon.

“Naturally.”

“Are you going to tell me what that was in there?”

“I would if I knew.”

“Yes,” Xaden says, and the path curves again. “It’s not exactly common knowledge. And I’m going to ask you to tuck this little tunnel into the file of secrets you keep on my behalf.”

“Let me guess, and you’ll know if I tell?”

“Yes.” Another smirk appears, and I look away before he can catch me staring.

“Are you going to promise us another favor?” Violet asks. The path begins to climb, and the ascent is anything but gentle. Every breath reminds me of what happened less than an hour ago.

“Having one of my favors is more than enough, and we’ve already reached mutually assured destruction status, Sorrengail. Now, can you push through it, or do you need me to carry you?”

“That sounds like an insult, not an offer.”

“You’re catching on.” But his pace slows to match ours.

“What were you doing tonight anyway?” I ask curiously.

“What makes you ask?” His tone clearly insinuates that I shouldn’t. Too bad.

“You made it to Violet’s room within minutes, and you’re not exactly dressed for sleeping.” He’s strapped with a sword for crying out loud.

“Maybe I sleep in my armor, too.”

“Then you should pick more trustworthy bedmates.”

He snorts, a flash of a smile appearing for a heartbeat. A real one. Not the fake, forced sneer I’m used to seeing or the cocky little smirk. An honest, heart- stopping smile that I’m anything but immune to. It’s gone as fast as it appears, though.

“So you’re not going to tell me?” I ask. I’d be frustrated if I didn’t hurt so damned much. And I’m not even going to touch why he needed to haul us all the way to Tairn when obviously Violet can chat with him anytime she wants.

Unless he wants to talk to Tairn, which is…ballsy.

“Nope. Third-year business.” He lets go when we reach the stonewalled end of the tunnel. A few hand gestures and another click sounds before he pushes open the door.

We step out into crisp, freezingly cold November air.

“What the hell,” I whisper. The door is built into a stack of boulders on the eastern side of the field.

“It’s camouflaged.” Xaden waves a hand and the door closes, blending into the rock as if it’s a part of it.

There’s a sound I now recognize as the steady beat of wings, and I look up to see the four dragons block out the stars as they descend. The earth shudders as they land in front of us.

 Tairn steps forward and Sgaeyl follows, her wings tucked in tight, her golden eyes narrowing on me.

„What have I done?” I ask Aon.

He stands next to Sgaeyl and snaps at her.

„Do not worry about it, little one. She’s always so grumpy.”

I try to disguise my laughter as a cough.

Andarna scurries between Sgaeyl’s claws, galloping toward us. She skids the last dozen feet, paws digging into the ground to stop just in front of Violet, bringing her nose to her ribs.

„What’s so funny?” Xaden looks at me.

„Aon. He said Sgaeyl is always grumpy. But so is he.” I smile at Aon. „They siblings after all.”

Sgaeyl turns her head and shots a menacing look toward Aon, before she lowers her head and stares at me.

She’s so close. I have never been so close to another dragon. But I keep eye contact with her. I’m not weak.

She huffs a breath in… approval?

“No broken bones,” I hear Violet, as she strokes her hand over the bumpy ridges of Andarna’s head. “They’re just bruised.”

“As sure as I can be.” She forces a smile.

“Yes, I want a word. What the hell kind of powers are you channeling to her?” Xaden demands, staring up at Tairn like he isn’t…Tairn.

Yep. Ballsy. Every muscle in my body locks, sure that Tairn is about to torch Xaden for impudence.

“He says—” Violet starts.

“I heard him,” Xaden counters, not sparing her a glance.

“You what?” My eyebrows hit my hairline, and Andarna retreats to stand with the others. Dragons only talk to their riders. That’s what I’ve always been taught.

“It’s absolutely my business when you expect me to protect her,” Xaden retorts, his voice rising.

Tairn’s head swivels in that snakelike motion that puts me on alert. He’s more than agitated.

“And I barely made it.” The words come out clipped through clenched teeth. “They would have been dead if I’d been thirty seconds later.”

Tairn’s chest rumbles with a growl.

“And I’d like to know what the fuck happened in there!”

I inhale sharply. „Xaden!” I shout and grab his arm. „Do you want to get yourself killed?”

I’ve never seen someone so much as dare to speak to another rider’s dragon, yet alone yell at one, especially not one as powerful as Tairn.

„Let him go. If Tairn wants to kill him, let him do it. I don’t want to look for another rider.” Aon steps closer to us.

„I knew that you love me.” I wink at him. „But I can’t watch it. All four are connected to each other. And Violet is important to me.”

„Just her?”

“We need to know what happened in that room.” Xaden’s dark gaze cuts through me like a knife for a millisecond before he glares back at Tairn.

Tairn’s mouth opens, his tongue curling in a motion I know all too well.

I pull on Xaden’s arm and I step in front of him.

„I’m so sorry that he’s rude to you, Tairn.” I say in my most polite voice. „He’s just a little freaked out. Don’t scorch him, please.”

In awe, Violet blinks up at the navy-blue daggertail as Xaden moves to my side. “She talked to me.”

“I know. I heard.” He folds his arms across his chest. “It’s because they’re mates. It’s the same reason I’m chained to you.”

What? They can…talk to each other? My chest hurts. Theoretically I knew it that they have a connection, but hearing it… it hurts.

I step away from them and I go over to Aon.

„Why am I here?” I ask him. „I mean I can’t hear half of the discussion.”

„I wanted to see you, to know that you’re all right.” He lowers his head and nudges me with his nose. „And unfortunately it seems the wingleader cares about you.”

„What? How do you know that?” I ask as I pet his nose.

„Sgaeyl likes to gossip. Now concentrate on the conversation, little one.”

I look at him in disbelief, but I nod and walk back to the others.

“You make it sound so pleasant.”

“It’s not.” Xaden turns to face Violet. “But you and I are exactly that, Violence. We’re chained. Tethered. You die, I die, so I damn well deserve to know how the hell you were under that man’s knife one second and across the room in another. Is that the signet power you’ve manifested with Tairn? Come clean. Now.” His eyes bore into her.

“I don’t know what happened,” She answers honestly.

Violet pivots to face the golden dragon, repeating what she said to us. „Nature likes all things in balance, that’s the first thing we’re taught.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Xaden asks Violet, not her.

Guess that means he can hear Tairn, but not Andarna.

“Feathertails shouldn’t bond because they can accidentally gift their powers to humans,” Violet continues. “Dragons can’t channel—not really—until we’re…they’re big, but they’re all born with something special.”

She relays the message. “Like a signet?” She asks out loud so Xaden and I can hear.

“Sgaeyl said, that no,” Aon tells me. “A signet is a combination of our power with your own ability to channel. It reflects who you are at the core of your being.”

Andarna sits up and tilts her head proudly.

“But I gave my gift directly to you. Because I’m still a feathertail.” Violet repeats again, staring at the smaller dragon. Almost nothing is known about feathertails because they’re never seen outside the Vale.

They’re guarded. They’re… I swallow. Wait. What did she say?

“You’re still a feathertail?” I look at Andarna in desbelief.

She blinks slowly and then cracks a yawn, her forked tail curling.

“You’re…you’re a hatchling,” Violet whispers.

Oh. Gods.                       

“She’s a what?” Xaden’s gaze swings between Andarna and Violet.

“How much faster?” Violet gasps. “She’s two years old!”

Sgaeyl chuffs at Andarna in obvious disapproval.

What an interesting conversation. I can’t hear half of what they say. Whatever, I will ask Vi later.

“Hold on. Is Andarna yours?” Xaden walks a step toward Sgaeyl, and the tone in his voice is one I’ve never heard. He’s…hurt. “Have you hidden a hatchling away from me these last two years?”

Sgaeyl blows out a blast of air that ruffles Xaden’s hair.

I look at Aon questioningly.

„Her parents passed before hatching.” He answers.

Tairn grumbles.

“Unpredictable?” Xaden questions.

“Gods, no. I could barely control it as a first-year.” Xaden shakes his head.

It’s odd to imagine Xaden ever not being in control.

“I would never!” Violet shakes her head.

Andarna’s head flops against Tairn’s leg. How could I not see it before now? Her rounded eyes, her paws…

“Of course, you wouldn’t know. Feathertails aren’t supposed to be seen,” Aon says.

“If leadership knew riders could take her gifts for themselves, rather than depending on their own signets…” Xaden says, staring at Andarna as she blinks slower and slower.

“She’d be hunted,” Violet finishes quietly.

“I won’t,” Violet promises as she looks toward the dragons. “Andarna, thank you. Whatever you did saved our lives.”

Her mouth drops open into another jaw-cracking yawn.

Violet stares at her and wobbles.

“What did she say?” Xaden asks her.

Tarin grumbles.

“Tell me what she said. Please.” His mouth tightens and I know that last bit cost him.

“She can pause time,” She forces out, stumbling over her words. “Briefly.”

Xaden’s features slacken, and for the first time, he doesn’t look like the stalwart, lethal wingleader I met on the parapet. He’s flat-out shocked as his gaze swings to Andarna. “You can stop time?”

“In small increments,” Vi whispers.

“In small increments,” Xaden echoes slowly, like he’s absorbing the information.

“And if I use it too much, I can kill you,” Violet says softly to Andarna.        

Silence, then Violet breaks it.

“Is Professor Carr going to kill me, too?” Every gaze whips toward Violet.

“Why would you think that?” I ask her with concern.

“He killed Jeremiah.” She says in a trembling voice. “You saw him snap his neck like a twig right in front of the whole quadrant.”

“Jeremiah was an inntinnsic.” Xaden’s voice lowers. “A mind reader is a capital offense. You know that.”

“And what are they going to do if they find out I can stop time?”

Terror freezes the blood in my veins.  “They’re not going to find out,” I promise her.

“No one is going to tell them. Not you. Not me. Not Aelin. Not them.” Xaden motions with one hand toward our dragons. “Understand?”

„Be safe, little one.” Aon says as they all bend slightly, then launch, wind gusting against my face. Andarna struggles, her wings beating twice as hard, and Tairn flies up underneath her, taking her weight and continuing on to the Vale.

“Promise me you won’t tell anyone about the time-stopping,” Xaden asks Violet as we head back into the tunnel, but it feels an awful lot like a command. “It’s not just for your safety. Rare abilities, when kept secret, are the most valuable form of currency we possess.”

My brow furrows as I study the stark lines of the rebellion relic that winds up his neck, marking him as a traitor’s son, warning everyone that he’s not to be trusted. But so far he has proven to be more reliable than my own father.

“We need to figure out how unbonded cadets got in your room,” Xaden says.

“There was a rider there,” Violet tells us. “Someone who ran away before Aelin arrived. She must have unlocked it from the outside.”

“Who?” I halt, taking her elbow gently and turning her toward us.

She shakes her head.

“At some point, you and I are going to have to start trusting each other, Sorrengail. The rest of our lives depend on it.” Fury swims in Xaden’s eyes. “Now tell me who.”

„Tell us, Vi. You know I will always believe you.” I say softly. „Who else was there?”

[zomblorbs]

EMOTIONAL RYUJI RANT !!!

keep in mind that some of these statements are generalized and blanket statements. Everyone goes through recovery and trauma differently and this does not define the Recovery Experience. This comes from my own experience and why i can relate to Ryuji.

tw for alcoholism & abuse,

I feel like, along side Ann, Ryuji and his story is often forgotten — even to Atlus — and he just becomes the Comedic Relief, The MCs Best Friend, The Meathead and it’s super upsetting for me because his story is the one that stayed with me the most since my first play through of the game in 2018.

Ryuji is called “annoying” often because of his joking nature, it’s hard for him to have a moment of seriousness and when that seriousness is directed at him (i.e that argument in september that leads to Okumura’s palace) he gets defensive and angry, when he does he gets treated as a meathead with no scope of emotion.

Must i remind you that Ryuji is a survivor of abuse. His father was a raging alcoholic that beat both him and his mother and then eventually his father was no longer in the picture. The way he acts is all out of subconscious self preservation.

When living with an abusive parent or partner, any emotion from the victim is considered a threat to the abuser, any form of taking up space is disrespect, any mention that they have these emotions is considered an attack against the abuser and thus the victim will no longer bring up how they feel, they will become uncomfortable in serious situations out of fear that they will be harmed if it’s given attention. It’s only understandable that Ryuji gets defensive or brushes everything off as a joke — because that is the only way he can see himself surviving.

Ryuji’s story is a story of surviving abuse and learning how to live with your past while focusing on the future. Ryuji’s story is about trauma recovery.

I understand why Ryuji gets angry easily. Everyone recovers differently, but for me at least my recovery is often going through a lot of anger, anger that the people that were supposed to care for me didn’t, anger that no one noticed that these things are happening, anger that i never spoke up about it and asked for help until much later on. That anger can also manifest from a place of fear, which can also be seen in Ryuji; he’s afraid of being like his father, of turning to the things that his father did and ultimately continuing the cycle of abuse and possibly generational trauma. Anger is a large part of recovery and to say that his outbursts are annoying is ultimately ignoring that he is a survivor of parental abuse and that is disrespectful.

Ryuji deserved a better confidant arc and, in general, better writers. His story — other than his experience with Kamoshida — is barely mentioned and it feels as though Atlus is expecting its audience to understand every face of Ryuji’s personality through one small sprinkle of “my dad abused my mother and i” that is rarely spoken about again, which is not possible unless someone has lived through a similar situation.

Ryuji deserved better and i will forever live by that statement.

from,

offical ryuji kinnie

[thebadgerclan]

Over

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova x reader

Summary: It’s all over...

A/N: And here’s the sad-ish fluff!  I have a few ideas for some Nikolai fluff, so I might write some of that too 😂

It was a miracle.  The sun shone down on his face as Aleksander staggered to his feet, the light overwhelming after the darkness of the Fold.  Sunlight had not graced the Tula Valley in over 400 years, and now, thanks to Alina, it shone brightly.  His nichevo’ya rose from the sand, knowing their master was wounded.  But Inej and Zoya managed to kill them, the Neshyenyer slicing them down like they were nothing at all.

When Aleksander got to his feet, Alina was standing before him, tears in her eyes.  “Now,” he said.  “You know sacrifice.”  “Beyond anything you’ve ever known,” she snapped, and Aleksander shook his head.  He knew sacrifice, he knew the pain Alina felt, he knew it well.  He’d felt the same pain when he found you, a gaping wound in your abdomen, a First army issue bayonet lying at your side.

“Aleksander,” you’d cried, clutching your stomach.  “Aleksander, I..”  “Shhh, it’s alright, my love,” your husband said, gently pulling you into his lap.  “I’m here.  Right here, Y/N.”  There was far too much blood, and you were too far from camp to make it to a Healer.  “Sasha,” you wheezed, a trickle of blood escaping your lips.  “I love you.  I love you so much.  I have always loved you.”  You knew you were dying; the pain had stopped and your entire body felt warm.  “I love you too, my darling,” Aleksander said, kissing you softly.  “I’ve got you.”  You died in his arms, your husband’s nichevo’ya howling with his grief and rage.

“And look what it did.”  “Indeed.  Look what it did.  Perhaps you now understand what it truly means to sacrifice, to lose.  You have my sympathy for what comes next.  When you realize that what you’ve done solves nothing.”  Aleksander pressed a hand to the wound in his abdomen, so very near where yours had been.  “The world doesn’t need a Saint to protect it, it needs a monster.  And while I remain, let me be your monster, let me carry the hatred of this world.  Tell me, Alina, who will be there to be your equal, to save you?”

Alina grabbed his wrist when he reached for her. “I will save myself,” she said, pushing his hand away from her.  Aleksander fell to his knees, wracked by cough, and a nichevo’ya formed from his body.  It surged forth and took Alina by the neck, lifting her into the air.  Aleksander tried to call it off, but it smacked him back, ignoring its master’s command.  Inej threw the Neshyenyer, the blade arcing to destroy the shadow demon, letting Alina fall to the sand.

“You can’t control them, can you?” she asked, her voice raspy.  “You can’t control any of it.”  Aleksander smiled softly.  “I thought I could control it all once,” he said, extending his hand to her, in one final attempt.  “Find peace.  And for a moment… I swear I did.”  He lifted his face to the sun, closing his eyes, allowing his thoughts to turn to you.

“You are the most beautiful woman I have ever met.”  “I bet you say that to everyone.”  “No, just you.”------ Your nose pressed to a bouquet of roses, a soft, shy smile on your face.  “General, are you asking me on a date?”  “I am, Miss L/N.”----- Your face, pressed against his pillows, hair a mess, mouth open as you slept.  “Y/N L/N, I cannot wait to make you my wife.”----- The ring he’d made; black diamonds and gold, glimmering on your finger, tears in your eyes, a beaming smile on your face.  “I love you,” you’d repeated.  “I love you, I love you, I love you!”----- You in your wedding gown, shimmering gold shot thorugh with black, your gaze whilly fixed on him.  “Aleksander Morozova, I will love you until I am dust on the wind.”  “Y/N Morozova, I will love you with every part of my heart.”----- You, lying naked in his arms, the sheets draped over your waist, pressing kisses to his chest.----- You, standing before your vanity, fastening your kefta.----- You, curled before the fire, reading.-----You.-----You.-----You

A white hot pain pierced him, and Aleksander looked down to see the Nesyenyer lodged in his abdomen, Alina’s hands wrapped around the hilt.  He sputtered, black blood dribbling from his lips.  “Without me,” he said.  “Know they will come for you.”  “Let them come.”  Alina withdrew the blade, and Aleksander toppled backwards.  She stood over him, her face blocking out the sun.  “You make sure I am buried with Y/N,” he said, feeling himself weaken.  “Please.”  Alina nodded, and Aleksander gasped.

Behind Alina, another figure entered his field of vision, you.  You wore your black kefta and you were smiling at him.  “Aleksander,” you said, extending a hand to him.  You’d been with him since your death, but he’d been unable to see you until now, when death was creeping in.  “Y/N,” he managed, his eyes closing.  But when they opened, he felt a new surge of strength, and he rose to his feet.  “My love,” he said, pulling you into his arms.  “Y/N.”  “It’s alright,” you said, holding him as tightly as he was holding you.  “It’s all over now.”

After several minutes of holding you close, Aleksander looked behind, seeing his body sprawled on the sand.  “I was always with you,” you said, cupping his cheek.  His scars were gone, the Stag’s wound on his hand completely healed.  “Every moment, Sasha.  You fought so hard for so long, my love.  But now you can rest, you’ve earned it.”  Your husband let out a sob and sank to his knees, clutching your kefta.

The month since your death had been the most difficult month of his life.  Going on without you had been next to impossible, and now that you were here, now that he was dead, Aleksander could process everything that had happened: the choices he’d made, the friends he'd lost, the pain he’d suffered.  You knelt beside him, pulling him into your arms.  “Shh, Aleksander, let it out.  It’s alright, I’m here.  Just let it out, my love.”  Aleksander buried his face in your chest, relieved to find that you carried the same smell, the scent that always comforted him.

“I missed you so much,” your husband managed.  “Oh Y/N, every day without you was torture.”  “I know, my darling,” you replied, carding a hand through his hair.  “But you’re here now, and you never have to be without me again.”  “Promise?”  He felt like a child for asking, but the thought of ever leaving your side was unbearable.  “I promise, Aleksander.  I love you, I love you so very much.”  “I love you too, milaya,” he replied, kissing you at last.  For several, blissful minutes, your husband kissed you, pulling you into his lap.  “We have eternity together,” you said.  “And I will love you for every last minute of it.”  Aleksander blinked back tears, kissing you again.  “As will I, my love.”

[ludinusdaleth]

a long time ago, when our first theories about aeor & molaesmyr began circa campaign 2's aeor arc, i came up with a lot of far fetched concepts in my obsession with little evidence. i assumed ludinus was related to fae, and if he were an archfey, surely his domain would be molaesmyr, and the corruption he left in his wake.

now... i think i was in a sense right.

ludinus corrupts everything he touches. he is a horseman of war who brings out bloodlust in everyone, makes others' anger a raging cog in his machinations, ensures the young twist themselves for a cause, whether for or against him. he leaves destruction of society wherever he walks. he warps the literal nature of things. kind men turn cold as issylra. a society of air becomes a tornado desperate to rend him apart with its winds.

he is the uncanny valley of a fae to the actual true fae around him. he is a representation of nature destroyed for the sake of progress. he has the power of an archfey & an archdruid but an archmage is what he is proud to be, disregarding the rest of him that he killed for.

he is his coveted synthetic aeorian forest of a2, that infected the savalirwood.

hundreds of years after molaesmyr's fall imathan cannot understand why ludinus was so different from him & his people. he couldnt have known that most elves he knew were simple folk who loved the city of trees, the connection to nature around them.

and ludinus was more than an elf, raised in an age of time travel & gold.

[ekwolfwriter-blog]

I just want to get this out but I am getting tired of people complaining about Live action Katara's lack of rage in the show. Especially because now, because it is missing from the LA show, there is a general trend of people that were annoyed with her behavior before now are defending it being part of her character. And before people think I am hating on them, no. I am not against people defending her rage, as I liked it a lot growing up and watching the show causally just as the next person. Katara was one of my favorite character of being a kind person while also taking names and kicking butt, she was that awesome. So more defense for her the better. Hell, I would say from just the interviews I have seen of Kiawentiio, she has - to me - the Katara sass and I am living for it.

What I am hating on is that the Live action Katara is getting ragged on for a lot of reasons - some valid, but other are (in my opinion) surface level stupid and not knowing of what actually might have been going on during the filming of season and probably the mindset that caused her character to be deflated. Because there is a lot to consider as to why it had to be condensed either for conveniences sake or - in my personal opinion - was done on purpose by two individuals that have a track records of curving that behavior in Katara to their desire.

Also: DON'T use this as an excuse to attack the actress! She is doing her best and giving her all! She is doing her job and any slander on her will be instantly blocked! I will not take any slander on her or any of the actors!

Also, mid spoilers so read at your own risk near the bottom

First thing we should consider: the amount of episodes. Yes, I am aware of the telling and not showing arguments that are being flown around. I get it. Normally, I am one of the biggest supporters that this show needed time to breath and let be to show than telling. If it had more time to breath, Katara's rage might have been more visible and we could have had more time for her arc to improve. And this is not to say that they could not have been able to do it, but I will say that this show NEEDED more than 8 episodes to be able to get as much in (To be clear, there are some shows that this works for - Amazon's Reacher and Legend of Zorro have short seasons and formatted for hour long content. But it makes sense for those shows because they are working within parameters of their medium and are newer (both are adaptions of older stuff but still) shows that can play around with the format better). For as ambitious as this project is, it has a lot to condense. At least that it is a show and not a movie, but still. Let's not forget that it could have been so much worst if it was a movie.

Now some people will say, "Well if they were good enough writers then they could have done more to show than tell," which fair. I will admit that there are infinite number of ways that they could handled some of the topics: such as Sokka's sexism and Katara's rage that everyone is missing. But with the landscape of media as is where you would be damned if you do damned if you don't if you so much as talk about some sensitive topic and you could be canceled for it instantly! Which leads me to the next point!

Second thing to consider: Multiple season renewal was never confirmed prior. Yes, we can all complain that the shows pacing was out of place. Yes, they cut some filler. And yes, it feels like we are getting too much of the world building through talking and now showing. But can you really blame them? To most people, if you saw the reaction of the cast before the news came out, you can see they were saddened by the fact they thought would not get a season 2. They changed their tune when season 2 and 3 was confirmed, and honestly happy for them. But again, that confirms to me that the writing had failed mostly because if they were never going to get their chance, might as well go all out. And with how easy shows can get picked up and canceled, I can see they needed to try and cram it in.

Which also plays into Katara's rage - they did not know if there was going to be a chance for her to grow and get bending abilities or go through her arc as steady as the animated. Again, I am not saying losing it was good, but that we need consider that if they were not going to get another season, they had to progress faster than usual. (Side note, while I like this show, Amazon's Hazbin Hotel has the same problem. We are steam rolling through what could be slow progression and change but can't slow because of episode constriction and no time to sit and allow the show to progress because it is so easy to drop the show for the studios, might as well end it on a note that at least can feel like it was it's own story.)

Speaking of studios, that would be my next point as well: studio and producer control. While I know directors can have a say in it, we should not forget about the studio that is allowing them to make this show in the first place and what they are asking for. As I keep saying, we don't know about what their restrictions are or if they can have more than a certain amount of episodes, and maybe that is a mandate of Netflix or something else, we as the audience don't know. We don't know what happens on set or behind the filming outside of glimpses and interviews, so for all we know, there was some changes to the script or teleplay to make it seem like they needed to cut Katara's rage to make her more meek. Which if this was the whole show, fine, that is a choice but not one I will have to like. But when watching the 3rd and 4th episodes, seeing Katara being a teenage girl and angry for once and even more open about her emotions was possible. Hell, it was the only times she was allowed to snap. And guess what people: it was because of the writing this time. That feminine rage you all wanted - while faint - was there. So clearly Netflix is not solely at fault - they have many mistakes but writing is not one of them.

But it is when you look who wrote what and where and what they were going for that - to me - puts EVERYTHING into place!

Final point: the original creators being brought on.

This might seem weird because one would think having the creators on the original show should be not as bad. The creators of the show is watching to make sure that the show is just right and that the characters feel the same or at least some of the story beats feel similar enough to enjoy. Why would them being on the set cause issues with the pacing and writing?

To a casual fan, yeah that makes sense. But to those that have been in the fandom, have see what they do post cannon to ALL of the characters - especially how they treat Katara in Legend of Korra - then anyone watching might have realized that that should have been a warning sign. Especially with how they would have wanted to depict the characters. And this is also the reason I think Katara's rage is gone: I think they wanted to make her like the comics version of her being a meek and demure girl that while caring was not getting as angry or as passionate about things because that would go against what Bryke wanted Katara to be in the show.

As I mentioned before, Katara's rage or at least genuine anger was only in for about two episodes out of the 8. And if you take out the 5th and 6th where she has been basically damseled with Sokka in the spirit world, that leaves on 4 more episodes to allow her to have her anger. Typically, one can thing, "Okay we can sprinkle it here or there in the other two and it should world". But all it takes is to see who was writing the episodes that truly not only hinder the world building of the show and breaks the rules of show don't tell or crammed it in so blatantly it feels like cringe and got rid of Katara being the one to free Aang because of her anger - was Bryke! They were the ones that were the head writers of the first episode and the 8th episode. The ones that had the most cramming down your throats dialogue, the clunky explaining of Aang's character out of now where and even curving Katara's rage or ability to be angry or snarky like she was in the show. Because Bryke wrote them, and also teleplayed a few - this being like adding notes and what the camera needs to do and how to frame scenes along side the dialogue. Meaning that they had some hand in making Live Action Katara this way.

If you notice in the episodes they didn't write: Omashu and the Cave of Two lovers - they were the only ones where Katara could be a bit more snappy and a bit more annoyed and vocal toward at least Sokka and Jet - not a lot but it was there. And oh would you look at that, the episode that they did not write had HEAVY hints for a certain firebender and waterbender being hinted at and color coded the lovers more vividly. And also, Katara getting to be empathetic while also not over explaining - which many always ragged on her for - where she could be human for once. Those episodes were the ones that they did not write and the story was somewhat better (Not better but I will take it over what we got prior)

And again, casual viewers might not know why this is a bad thing or probably wondering why I am against Bryke. But all it takes is looking at what they did to animated Katara that you all try to say "Was perfect as she was before" without considering what they did to her after the curtain fell. For any fan that has been following the show, you will find that most fans of Katara - the animated one -did not like what they did to her in the comics that continued their story and Legend of Korra, where she was a husk of a shell of her former self. And how she was all about "What Aang would have done, and what Aang did and oh how I missed Aang, he would know what to do". And yet, if she even showed any anger or negative emotions, she was painted as the bad person - easily look up Katara in the comics with a google search and you can see her being pushed around and flattened almost all the time when she is showing negative emotions that are genuine and not the funny mad in the show. Especially in the show as seen through this post, it did not always paint her anger in a natural thing for her or reinforced her angry as more comedic than actually something to consider as important until someone else stepped in to help her see it *cough* Zuko *cough*.

So to all the people that are trying to come after the live action Katara as being "Not the same energy girl power character who was expressive about her anger" you all "loved from the start'', please consider who and what was behind the scenes to make her this way. Especially since the animated show had other writers besides Bryke that understood Katara better if not more. Bryke wanted her to be more demure even in the pilot, and damsel. And yet the other writers gave her an actual story. Byrke have shown time and time again they do not want and angry passionate water bender that wants to be more active in changing the wrongs in the world, they want her to be more meek and docile and not fight back to let others save her in the comics and after. The OG had other writers that gave her her arc and Mae Whitmen give her the sass that we all love.

Live action Katara is no different. She has been trying to come into her own - with limited time to tell a story, limited time to get her arcs in fearful of cancellation, and with different writers, she can work, but not with Bryke. Same goes for the other characters too, not just Katara, but it seems that everyone pokes at Katara more and it is getting frustrating because some of these people just can never be happy with Katara.

Hopefully with season 2 and 3, we can have more time to flesh out the characters and maybe even have more show don't tell moments and being able to explore their feelings more. But only time will tell.

Rant over, sorry for the rambling mess.

[dia-reads]

I WANT TO HEAR ABT THE LOST SISTER. smth is going on w it i can’t identify

the importance of the lost sister in the stranger things narrative

okay so i got one like on that post. this is happening now.

the lost sister has always had one of my favourite plot lines in the entire series, and i'm tired of people saying it was useless or that they skip it on rewatches. especially in the byler fandom, where everyone seems to be insanely gung-ho on the idea of el getting independence from a break up with mike.

el may have started out as someone with very little freedom, but she's still a very independent character in her own right. you could argue that her independence wasn't there during the entire series, however, a key moment in gaining that power over herself was in the lost sister.

so by skipping it, avoiding it or not posting about it in general, we miss out on one of the best parts of el's arc in stranger things.

the most obvious and easily analysable part of this episode is el's relationship with kali.

kali prasad is el's narrative foil. they come from similar circumstances but have contrasting personalities and values. kali's view on their childhood is simple. she wants revenge against those who wronged her family, and attempt to hurt her friends. el's motive is practically identical, but this is where the 'morals' and 'values' come into play.

kali is willing to kill without thought or remorse. el is not.

and before you say "but dia, el has killed people! she doesn't hate it!" i feel the need to point out that el has never felt like she's ever had a choice. she kills because she's in danger, she kills because she has never felt safe her entire life, she kills because it is what she was trained for. she kills, because it is all she knows how to do.

but with kali, el is offered that choice. kali gives her the gun, and tells her to kill a man. people say kali is manipulative, but i don't see this at all. she gives el every bit of information she has on this man, his views, his crimes. she never threatens to punish her whether el follows through with the deed, or not. she is the first person who says el is her family, and does not hurt her.

that's crazy. just saying.

so we see el, dressed in black and makeup a mess. she is playing pretend again, trying to fit in somewhere at last. she holds the gun, feels rage and anger and thoughts of 'he deserves it'. but, ever our heroine, el hesitates.

she grants him mercy. she lets him go.

regardless of how the rest of the mission went, this is a very important moment for el. she makes this decision, not influenced by anyone around her. she takes control of her fate, her destiny, and she didn't need to sacrifice anything to do that.

i could continue with points like the entire power training thing, the meaning of family, the advancement of the plot. but that's obvious stuff, it doesn't take much effort to figure that out.

there is so much good in the lost sister. all you have to do is dig a little deeper and take off your shipper goggles to see it.

[linkspooky]

To add to my previous post, I think a lot of the current debates raging in the My Hero Academia fandom on whether My Hero Academia has failed because at the end of the story there probably won’t be major changes to the society it takes place in are kind of silly. You see to remove any political message MHA is trying to send out of the equation. I think the big problem with MHA  is much simpler than anyone wants to admit. 

The biggest problem is that... it’s boring. 

It’s boring the same way Marvel Movies are boring. It’s swapped out what are potentially interesting and layered hero characters, for what are essentially characters with costumes and superhero powers and not much else going on for them. Enji and Hawks are the only heroes that have character flaws, and they are largely stagnant characters, Aizawa is introduced to us as a ruthless pragmatist and trickster mentor and he’s now just a generic “I love all my kids” mentor and the only thing he really has done in a hundred chapters is use his power. I don’t think this is a controversial opinion either, a lot of people didn’t like the deku alone arc, a lot of people think the current war arc is less satisfying to read than the previous one and it’s not well paced and it drags. 

You could say the kid heroes are interesting characters with potential for growth, but have you noticed the kid heroes have been consistently sidelined for the adult heroes who are shallower, just because they have stronger more flashy powers. Heck, Enji gets more screentime in the Todoroki family arc than Shoto does and Shoto is supposed to be a main character. I think the hero kids just not getting plot importance they used to get and being sidelined because they’re not as powerful as the adults is not even an MHA exclusive problem, it’s the reason I don’t like the Young Justie Cartoon, it’s a pretty common flaw in adolescent superhero stories. Because why focus on the kids when the adults get all the cool fights against the bigger bads? 

I think the reason people sympathize with the villains so much is not because they find them to have better politics, that’s probably a ex-posto facto applied reasoning (though I think that’s part of it). (Also if people are invested in the story in MHA because of the political issues it expressed, and they are disappointed because we’re not focusing on that, that’s a valid response too because Horikoshi is the one who set these ideas up as themes and then failed t follow through). (Or even if someone wants to critcize the way Hori dragged race as a metaphor into the story, they’re free to be displeased with how HOri handled it but also can still be invested in the story as a whole.) I don’t think the villains are sympathetic because they’re societal reformers, I think they’re just interesting because they have severe personality flaws and character arcs. Enji is the same character from the pro-hero work onward, the exact same character, he even does the exact same action his only true action to atone is to just defeat a big bad in AFO the same way he roasted the Noumu alive. You can’t say Shigaraki is the same character he was at the beginning of his arc, nor Himiko Toga, nor Dabi, nor Spinner, not even Twice and he has a tragic arc. Negative character development is still development, a stagnant character is dull a dynamic character is interesting. Maybe everyone is excited that Toga, and Dabi are at extreme low points in their character arcs, because it’s a change, and it’s compelling to see the extreme emotions they represent. Like, there’s so much discourse today on whether or not the League of Villains is a healthy friend group for one another, and like they’re not, they’re codependent and heavily flawed but that’s what makes them interesting dude. 

Compare that to Class 1-A which is a much bigger group of kids where they are all unconditionally supportive of each other, and a healthy influence on one another, and because there’s very little conflict in that group bond there’s also little development. The only reason Class 1-A is in fact something people are emotoinally invested in is because of the conflict they had earlier in their arcs, Bakugo and Deku is a long running conflict based on an unhealthy friendship and fixation they have on one another, it takes a long time for Bakugo and Todoroki to interact regularly as friends, Deku had to literally beat up Todoroki to get him to accept help or even admit he needed it, Iida would have straight up killed a man without Todoroki and Deku’s interference, and even early on Uraraka felt inferior and more selfish to her friends, and Iida also drew a line that Deku shouldn’t expect unconditional support and teamwork from Iida during the tournament  because they are compettitors competing for number one. 

Conflict creates depth which creates audience engagement. 

The Teen Titans are my favorite superhero team ever, and they are a heavily dysfunctional found family. In fact Cyborg even jokes at one point that their life is a soap opera. They are constantly breaking up and getting back together, and sometimes the group’s decision to collectively either neglect or enable someone has a bad influence on their personality (the second return of trigon arc comes about because no one was paying attention to Raven, heck, Raven is kidnapped by a cult and just left there for months because Donna was a poor leader). These character conflicts are also what makes them interesting as a group dynamic, I don’t think you should break the group apart because they’re not healthy, because there’s a better story to be told in them working through their dysfunction into a healthier group bond. 

I’ve said this a thousand times but I don’t think the hero kids are bad characters, I don’t even dislike them, I want to see more of them. Literally all I talk about on this blog are the villains, but the only fanfic about MHA I’ve ever written and managed to finish, is about Bakugo, Todoroki, Momo and Uraraka and in particular the great potential I see in those characters to be interesting, 

You could write a story where society does not change as a whole, but still circumstances get better for people because the kids are deciding to help people and be kind. Bleach is all about the fact you can’t really change the whole world or save everyone. Ichigo is just trying to protect his hometown and it’s my favorite shonen manga. I also think those stories matter just as much as like revolutionary fiction, because oftentimes people can’t change the world as an individual, and yet the action of helping people still matters, and I think also for a lot of normal people they tend to be paralyzed into not taking any action to help people at all because they believe that it won’t make a difference in the grand scheme of things. 

At the most basic level we haven’t even gotten that yet. We used to have it! I really liked the Overhaul arc, and that entire arc isn’t about societal reform, it was about several people striving to save a young girl because heroes are supposed to save people. We are thoroughly in shonen battle manga punch em ups and fisticuffs. And as a shonen battle manga it’s not even that interesting because the fights suck, they’re not well choreographed, we don’t know what’s happening most of the time, they’re incredibly crowded, there’s no tension because the heroes despite supposedly being outnumbered way outpower the bad guys. We are given the promise that might happen in the future, there is set up for the fact that these kids are going to as their final act in the story save the villains and sympathize them but all we’ve gotten between then and now is a whole bunch of fighting. And once again it doesn’t come from a hatred of the kids but a genuine desire to see more of them, I want to see Shoto’s thoughts and feelings about his brother, I want to see Uraraka try to be a rescue hero and grapple with the fact villains are suffering, I want to see Deku think about what saving Shigaraki actually means. What I don’t want to see is new super powers, kids trying out their super moves, or kids helping the adults in fight. 

And once again this isn’t to criticize people who enjoy MHA or are still emotoinally invested in it. Like I’m sure I’m going to get replies to this post “Why are you even reading MHA if you’re bored by it?” 

Like... because you can engage critically with something even if you’re not entertained by it? There’s more purpose to literature and media then just whether or not ti’s personally enjoyable? I think there’s still a fascinating conversation to be had, in what works in MHA, and what does not work. I like superhero comics, and MHA is a shonen mangaka’s commentary on how they perceive western comics to be. 

But yeah, I think the biggest most fundamental failing of MHA right now is that it’s a real snooze fest. As a comic book story, it doesn’t work because the heroes aren’t fun, it doesn’t seem to have much to say about the heroes besides very generic statements of heroes good. Heroes help people. Deku good. Deku saves. Deku punches. Deku wins. 

So like can everyone collectively agree to just stop yelling at people who are emotionally invested in the villains, or even want to see them win? And like I think people should be allowed to post salt on their own blogs privately or even try to like comment on why they think certain fandom opinions are wrong, but gosh some of these posts guys they’re just like acting like a vast majority of readers are stupid. PEOPLE AREN”T STUPID! In fact I think most people are actually really good at interpreting stories because we are exposed to stories from a young age, and we think and feel in narrative, it’s just a lot of people don’t have the tools to either analyze stories or express what they find engaging. In fact if you think someone is wrong, or even think they have a vastly different take then you’re own, I think you should ask them why they think that way if you’re really interested in a conversation with them. Heck Thy and I usually agree about a lot of things, but sometimes I’ll make a pretty extreme statement, and they go “Oh, I don’t think that, or that’s wrong.” And then I just walk it back and try to explain my reasoning and then even if they’re not convinced to agree with me we just both move on. 

People root for the villains because they’re underdogs. They’re sympathetic and flawed. They are also not stagnant as characters and we spend more time in their head. People aren’t stupid for being emotionally invested in them or reading the story wrong necessarily, so much as MHA has kind of failed to properly establish stakes and tension and make things difficult for the heroes like it should be, that’s just how engagement in a story works. There’s a reason that everyone hates the Yankees, but Cubs fans can stay fans for like a hundred years without a world series victory. I’m not even trying to directly insult anyone, or say that My Hero Academia is bad fiction, or not worth reading, I just wish people would chill a little bit and stop jumping on villain stans for liking the unhealthier or darker aspects of the characters. 

Everyone’s like “I love my murderous meow meows covered in blood” and then you actually say the reason you like Shigaraki is because he’s heavily flawed, and at times a vengeful, hateful little shit and suddenly it’s a problem. Spinner’s a codependent enabler, yeah it’s called having a personality with flaws. He wouldn’t even have a character arc if he wasn’t those things, he’d just be a lizard. The thing that is deliberately written by a flaw, called out in the plot, and he gets punished for. God has punished him for his sins. Right now he’s just lying on the floor nearly brain dead. Also sometimes characters don’t have like, big, operatic flaws. Like as murderous and nasty as Dabi is there’s like a catharsis and power in the way he calls out his abusers. Sometimes people are annoying and needy. I feel like more ficitonal characters should be annoying and needy! Sometimes the most interesting characters, are characters you like would hate to be friends with in real life because they’d just be too high maintennance and put-upon. 

I mean on top of that there are also stories where characters get worse, and only experience negative character development, and there are people who become engaged in those stories because of the dark turns it takes. 

You could say that the fandom downplays the darker aspects of these characters, but like that’s what every fandom does. Heck, don’t Bakugo and Deku have an extremely unhealthy friendship for a long time, that fandom likes to downplay because they want to see them in a much healthier version of their relationship? 

It’s also pretty much harmless. Beyond being frustrated with seeing an out of character version of a character being popularized, it doesn’t really harm people in any way that matters, you don’t have to yell at people for being wrong or even go out of your way to correct them. In fact, I think people having extremely different takes from the story that you do should be celebrated more. Isn’t it interesting two people can read the exact same events and interpret them in wildly different ways? Isn’t it weird, that we all have this collective agreed upon version of like “in character” and “Out of character” and yet people tend to either deviate or stay inside that framework. People also, tend to enjoy different aspects of the story. I don’t think the heroes are interesting at all, but if someone is a diehard hero stan and they like the heroes I’m glad they are having a fun time. 

Fandom is supposed to be a conversation, and like, you shouldn’t go out of your way to correct the people you’re talking with, because it’s a much more fun conversation to ask why people think the way they do and try to understand that then to just tell them they’re wrong and end the conversation there. The reason I have this blog is not because I think I’m right and other people are wrong, I just like to talk to people about my thoughts on the comic books I’m reading, and then other people ask me why I think the things I do and I try to explain it. 

Oh and by the way I’m not talking about people who disagree with me specifically. Like, Class1akids wrote a response to one of my posts. I think they have every right to disagree with me and they were pretty professional about the way they expressed their opinion, I follow them and like their takes because they’re good at stating the reasons behind what they think. I just didn’t interact with it because I was feeling lazy that day and didn’t want to type up a big response. I’m just in general asking people to chill and be nice and have fun.