#this is nonsense but I’m having fun

[thebluestbluewords]

Spike Time! Because I got inspired by this post:

“Question for you, Auradon boy,” Mal demands, thumping her bag down on the lunch table with more aggression than she should probably show at school. “I need info and none of my usual losers are available to get it for me.” 

Doug looks up from his book slowly than is strictly necessary, in Mal’s opinion. It’s not like she’s threatening him, she’s just pursuing an unusual avenue for information. Never mind that she doesn’t actually like Doug, because he’s the most likely source for the info she needs, and she’s going to get it out of somebody one way or another. 

Doug frowns at her. “What do you need?” 

“You’ve been to the city.” Mal says, swinging one leg over the bench so that she’s at least pretending to sit with him. They’re sharing a girlfriend, or whatever, so she can at least try and look friendly. “And you’re like, a nerd about buildings and stuff, right?” 

Doug’s frown crumples into a more puzzled look. “Sure. I wouldn’t call myself a nerd, exactly, but—“ 

“You care about the history of stuff,” Mal interrupts. “Right?” 

“Sure.” 

“So,” Mal starts, and then realizes that the hand she’s got resting on the table is shaking. She clenches it into a fist. She can’t afford to show weakness. “You know why the FUCK there’s spikes and shit all over every fucking flat surface in the city?” 

Doug blinks. “Spikes?”He echoes, sounding puzzled. “The anti-pigeon spikes are only on the top of buildings. They’re a tool the city planners use to keep the streets clean. If the birds can’t land, they can’t leave, ah—droppings. Everywhere.” 

“Bird shit.” Mal repeats, flatly. 

“Yes.” 

“The spikes are for bird shit.” 

Doug squints at her. “Yes,” he says slowly. “They’re designed to keep away birds and other pests. That’s what the city planning guides say.” 

Great. Perfect. 

“And there’s no other reason they might put spikes at ground level,” Mal says, just to be sure that she’s not the one going insane here. “Like, on every flat surface you could possibly want to sit on.” 

Doug shakes his head. “I haven’t actually been to Auradon city since I was a kid. If there's spikes around on ground level, I don't know why they're there." 

Ugh. Typical Auradon kid. They can list off every fact known to man about kingdoms hundreds of miles away, but when you need a tiny piece of information about your own backyard, they come up blank. "But you can look it up, right?" Mal pushes. "In one of your books, or something."

Doug lifts a shoulder. "I guess. Why?" 

Mal grits her teeth. She's been independent since she was old enough to hold a knife. It's galling to need help from any Auradon brat, much less the one that she's lost half of Evie's time to. She's been the one protecting her crew for years, and it's best if she won't let outsiders know the specifics. Injuries are safest when they're secret, when nobody can tell that you're nursing a weak spot-- 

When you know the lay of the land and can keep it hidden until you're healed. When your puncture wounds aren't infected and oozing gods-know-what all over your clothes. When you have the barrer, thrice-cursed thing that it is, keeping you alive even when your body wants to die. 

"We might've-- gotten hurt." Mal admits. "On the spikes. I need to know why they're there, so I can heal the puncture wound and then melt them down to a pulp." 

"Metal turns into smelt," Doug says, and then looks almost horrified with himself. "Not a pulp. Not that it matters. Is Evie hiding a puncture wound?" 

Ah. This is why Evie likes him. 

"No." Mal snaps. 

"Then--?" 

"I have other friends." 

"You don't." Doug points out, eyes big and wide and fully earnest. "And if it's not Evie, then it's one of the other Isle kids. I haven't seen you bleeding on anything lately, not that you'd show me if you were, and--" 

"It's Jay. Happy?" 

"No. Evie hates when people get blood on her clothes." 

"She's not--" Mal sighs. This sort of questioning is exactly why she doesn't trust Auradon kids. With anything. They'll just talk about things, and not get anything useful done. "She doesn't care about the blood right now. I need you to tell me why the spikes are there. Can you handle that?" 

Doug drops his chin into something almost like a determined expression. Mal's more used to seeing the look on the faces of little kids when they're challenging each other to jump off of something that'll definitely break their legs, but that's unmistakably what it is. "Yes. But I want to know why you're asking." 

"I told you already. I'm going to melt them down. It's stupid to put spikes all over the place where perfectly normal people want to be. We can't be the only ones who want to run around the fucking city without pointless spikes getting in the way." 

"You're from the Isle," Doug points out. "I thought you guys were all about pointless spikes." 

"For ourselves, not for the ground. It's stupid to keep them around wherever for no reason." 

"I'll look it up," Doug promises. "Can I report back tonight, or are you flying into the city to melt them before dinner?" 

Mal's face twitches without her consent. Funny. He's funny. "I can wait until after dinner. But come by Evie's room after then. You can report back once we've eaten." 

"Got it. Can I ask one more question?" 

Mal forces a frown. She's got a reputation to uphold. "I suppose." 

"Why are you asking me, and not Lonnie or Ben? You're friends with them, aren't you?" 

Ugh. The real answer is that Lonnie's off campus, and Ben's too busy to worry with a little thing like oozing puncture wounds from spikes in the city that they weren't supposed to be visiting, but Doug's not going to stop if she tells him that. 

"I'm friends with you," Mal lies instead. "Friends ask each other stuff. Normal questions." 

"Like why there's spikes on the ground." 

"Yeah." 

"Lonnie's not here, is she." 

Stupid perceptive boys. 

"She's off campus for a ROAR tournament," Mal admits. "Evie's not mad about the blood because we had to rope her in so she could forge a nurse's note excusing Jay from the tournament for a minor, normal shoulder injury. We need help, and we need in from you, because you're the next in like of people who don't hate us. Are you going to help or not?" 

"Oh, I'm going to help." Doug pushes his glasses up his nose in a way that Mal can only describe as ominous. "But you might not like whatever I find, and you can't rip my head off about it when I tell you what I've found." 

Mal lets her eyes flash green. "Deal," she says, and sticks out a hand. "Fairy's honor." 

[elizakai]

HI ? HELLO I ONLY NOW SAW THE POST FOR THE CHARACTER DYNAMIC HEADCANONS SO LIKE,,,, I SAW CERBERUS (HORROR/DUST/FELL/CROSS I THINK) IN YOUR SHIP LIST AND I NEED TO KNOW MORE

WAAAAAA Cerberus, as you said, is a ship between Horror, Cross, Dust, and Fell, and I love it 😭

I cant remember who started it but I’m pretty sure I read about it on a Twitter thread some time ago?? My info could be wrong but what I remember from the general storyline of the thread was like

fell and dust are buddies (heh.) and dust visits underfell, but still ends up going home to wait for the anomaly, because he can’t be convinced otherwise.

fell gives him a collar/necklace thing he keeps with him.

he goes back to underfell one time and it’s😭 empty. Reds jacket is on the ground and everyone’s gone. WHICH SHOULDNT HAPPEN IN UNDERFELL. Devestated, dust takes red’s jacket and, eventually, leaves. He’s gone. he eventually gets yoinked by mr noot himself

AND meets horror obviously. Over time they hit it off😌

I remember some sort of thing between cross and dust, I think it was underverse related, where Cross feels bad for something he did and dust is just like 🤷🏽‍♀️ idgaf.

basically those two have a lot of clashing because cross is like. Insecure basically💀 and that makes horror mad because him and dust have gotten really close, and cross is JEALOUS and HSJSJS DRAMA. they work it out EVENTUALLY surely

AND EUEU I HAVE NO IDEA WHEN OR HOW but apparently Red shows up at some point and I imagine it’s either like dust has to be shocked and try to remind him of who he is with the collar and jacket, or dust is like *sigh* that’s not my red eueueu, and reds like YOOO BITCH???

they get to reunite✨🩷💥 I think fell and horror got along easier then fell and cross because of underverse😀 but they work it out and everyone’s fucking happy ok

something something SOULMATES??? like dust shares part of his soul with cross or something, him and horror soul bonded at some point before they came along, I think reds left out of the soul juggling💀 ✌️ but he don’t need it lmao

anyways yeah I don’t actually know if any of that was accurate but I do know the ship is great even without ANY of that it’s just THATS WHAT MADE ME FALL IN LOVE WITH IT AND THEY ARE ALL SO EDGY AND HURT BUT SOFT FOR EACHOTHER and they have all this beef and drama but they work it out and are like “woah actually since when were you so lovely-??” And the pain of losing a lover and REUNITING AND THE DYNAMICS ARE INTERESTING AND THEY ARE ALL SO MESSED UP I LOVE THEM💔

oh yeah and I’m p sure speculative killermare is a thing while this is going on hehe

[coffee-at-annies]

Hey @reavenedges-lies it’s almost that time of year….

[oldbutchdaniel]

i just want to snort coke off a park bench with 80 of my closest friends =/

[spaghetticat3899]

When you absolutely despise something a lot of people like, and no matter what way you look at it you cannot see the appeal, but you know you can’t talk about it in public or else you’ll get dogpiled to hell and back, so you just kinda sit there frothing at the mouth like this

[corrodedcoughin]

just had the very slow realisation that the majority of people ive met in daily life don’t have online friendships or communities and just got quite sad about it. idk, I just love you guys and being a part of online spaces that are so collectively in a headspace that reality is altered

[deakyjoe]

Told a friend I’m writing an Obi-Wan Kenobi sex pollen fic for Star Wars Day

Now I have to do it for her 🫶🥲

[nexility-sims]

🌷

[xx-vergil-xx]

god Verg I love a Structure so much, it’s gonna be “despicite, dei, gaudete” for the WIP game & I would love to hear more about the said structure if you feel like sharing it!

hello!! an excuse to talk about my project? yes please thank you <3

so it’s three “layers” which are entangled (maybe laced is a better word — i’m still ironing out final structural presentation, but the core is there)

1. sopwith, a book published in 1950 about pilots in WWI — aiming for an american modernism style, steinbeck influences (god i love steinbeck) with a dash of the faintly surreal, though i wouldn’t call it experimental. presented in standard book style, not terribly long

2. the life of sopwith’s author, who was himself a pilot in the second war, discharged after a serious plane crash — sopwith is published after his stint in the air force and he spends the last six years of his life in a new york hotel (based on the chelsea) obsessively redrafting a second edition of sopwith and filling a horde of journals, which themselves are published 50 years later as an academic text (though the second edition of sopwith never sees the light of day). told in journal passages

3. the efforts of a lit studies doctorate to piece together what it was sopwith’s revised version (never published) was really trying to say while she struggles with her own psychiatric health and her relationship to literature and the world at large. told in footnotes on sopwith, journals, and letters to her brother.

that’s the simplest sort of breakdown — the lit. studies doctorate ends up living in the same hotel the author lived in while she’s working and enters a psychological spiral where she becomes entangled with those last years of the author’s life and the thing he was trying to excise via his book, so the lines get a little blurry as the whole thing progresses. there are lots of throughlines about doubling/communication/the effort of people to corral the world with the written word/etc — inspired a lot by jorge luis borges and also house of leaves. i’m still in the glorious haze of Throw It All On The Page so i expect there’ll be some. refinements? (please god)

despicite, dei, gaudete is the first thing the author ever wrote and published — it’s a novella about an odd family myth a grandmother is telling her grandson, but taking a borges tact what we read instead of the actual novella is the lit doctorate’s essay about it, an excerpt from the middle of which i shall offer you here :)

thanks much for the ask my friend <3 <3

The seemingly obvious moral is twofold: old gods are infinitely cruel, and splitting up in strange forests is a terrible idea (a fact any B-list horror film will readily remind us of). Little chou hears this story, and when the telling of it is over, we discover that chou is now an old man, telling the tale to his granddaughter, and we have been hearing the telling of a telling, itself impressed upon by dimly-recalled circumstance and the erosion of an old man’s memory. Now we see why the impressions of intermediate narrative — a family dinner, a bedtime, a certain firelit drawing room — are so loosely sketched, so half-filled and yet so elemental. They are the memories of a child.

Most take Despicite as Witten’s first establishment of in loco, absentia on the basis of the fact that the real narrative concealed within is the life of chou, understood to us by the particularity of the details he does remember: his mother’s hand vividly recalled, posed mid-stir over a soup pot, thought by many to imply both her early death and chou’s pursuit of the culinary arts; the flames in the hearth and the strange vision chou has of the stones blackened, suggesting at one time that the house burned down; chou’s exquisite ekphrasis of the ceiling in his childhood bedroom, so vivid one cannot help but think that this is where we find him now, perhaps confined to the same quarters he slept in as a child, an old man at the end of his life. Legion readers have pointed out the obvious Biblical influences, the echoes of Cain and Abel (raised as a Protestant in his hometown of Valentine, Nebraska, it’s no small wonder that Witten’s works tend to touch on Christian themes). The first brother, killed and then dismantled by the second, plays our ready Abel, and the second our more hapless Cain, whose inciting sin is perhaps his abandonment of his brother to the dark wood in pursuit of his own reckless belief. He then attempts to “hide” his sin by rectifying it, collecting his brother in an attempt to reverse his transformation into earth. It’s no great leap. Our Cain, of course, is not condemned to wander, but instead condemned to a miserable stasis, from which he similarly does not escape.

[kingofanemptyworld]

one thing I genuinely appreciate about early jjk is that you have a group of villains/antagonists who are ostensibly on the same side but literally no one has the same goal. kenjaku’s set on evolving the human race for his own amusement, mahito is very much a child in that he’s basically just doing whatever feels best to him at any given time (which does mean he aligns with the others more often than not), jogo, hanami, and dagon are fighting to replace humanity and want to bring about a new age of curses using sukuna as their trump card… meanwhile sukuna wants nothing to do with any of them and is just biding his time until he can enact his own plans to resurrect himself. I’m always particularly fascinated by kenjaku aligning himself with jogo and the others because while yes he has his own agenda and is more or less using them it’s just funny because… what was he going to do if sukuna did agree to help jogo? like there goes humanity and all his test subjects. anyway I just think this was a fun dynamic. the only thing that could’ve made it more interesting was in fighting but there’s actually something really good about the sense of camaraderie, real or otherwise

[chenfordspiral]

What in the world is a super boop?! And how do I do that? 👀

[aegagrusscholarship]

whitehank scug hours

[nani-nonny]

Listening to the wisdom saga is making the gears gearing hehe

[whatsupspaceman]

tired of being silent on the issue. let me in the writers room NOW

[ovaryacted]

When I write Leon as a cuckhold or the reader as a cuckquean I don’t want to hear nothing other than I’m just a real ass bitch who likes fun.

I’m about to just start going crazy and write threesomes and fun roleplay scenarios (cough Chreon included cough). Let’s have some fun y’all! Go crazy! Go stupid! 😁

[bugwithambitions]

I love being a silly little hater I need more acotar critical and anti acotar content I’ve literally scrolled through the entire tags and resorted to trying to find video essays lol

There’s not enough content to feed my hate(?) hyperfixation. What’s the opposite of a hyperfixation. Anti-hyperfixation? Haterfixation?

I love being a horrible bitch in the privacy of my mind and friends group chats (and I suppose this blog with only my partner following hello love) I love tearing apart inconsequential nonsense that has no impact on my life