#this is not invitation to discourse. tell me your thoughts if you want but if youre being hostile im just gonna delete it

[venomroses]

okay wait im gonna bitch about something so quick disclaimer: you can do whatever the fuck you want forever. i dont care. this isnt about anyone specifically i just see it a lot in danger days stuff so im putting it on the danger days blog

its so boring to me when people slap top surgery scars onto a presumably canonically cis male character and call him trans. like obviously i love trans headcanons (theres no cis killjoys) but especially in a context like danger days where there probably is limited access to gender affirming everything it feels like such a limited version of transness. like is hrt and top surgery the epitome of transness for people? like make no-hrt no-op characters, make characters who do unconventional gender affirming things, make trans characters who get bottom surgery too, just SOMETHING interesting PLEASE

like for danger days. theres so much room for exploration of transness without medical intervention, passing, the rare occasion someone does get hrt or surgery, people who get surgery without hrt because its easier to get a one-time procedure than it is to keep up with weekly medication, diy hrt and when it doesnt work out well, how transness is viewed when theres a lot of people who dont pass, how gender is viewed in the first place (maybe people dont have to worry about passing because gender isnt viewed the same irl?), how trans people are treated in their crews (like are they treated as the gender they identify as, the gender they pass as, or their assigned gender? are they sort of treated as one but are treated differently than other people of that gender? etc), alternatives to binders/packers/breast forms/etc when traditional versions of those are hard to come by, and thats just the tip of the iceberg you could look at so much more than that.

and like yeah i get that people want escapism they want to see their favs in the body they want and stuff like that which is obviously fine like i said do whatever you want forever im not your mom but just come ON is slapping top surgery scars on someone the best you can do?

and like there are times when i think it would be reasonable for a character to medically transition like if they transitioned in the city then escaped then sure or if one person in the zones had enough money to get themselves hrt consistently then sure that makes sense but every trans character being on hrt and getting top surgery (if ftm) and passing perfectly is BORING especially when you have multiple trans characters like you couldnt even make ONE interesting?

[project-sonadow]

hello—i have a question to ask, and i figured it’d be better to do it here than to bother an individual artist about this. (sorry in advance for bringing the mood down w/ a serious question, btw.)

so, i’ve seen posts going around lately where people are like “hey, stop being explicit about sonadow, it’s weird”. and i agree that making explicit comments on sfw work is not cool. forcing the creator to see stuff that might make them uncomfortable is rude. /gen

however, if the characters are explicitly stated to be aged up (like, have lived several years beyond the games) or are in an au where they’re older, is that still bad? /genq because i always thought that the authors/artists were specifically going out of their way to say “we’re actively not wanting to make these pieces about children, we just want to see these two personalities and how they would behave in nsfw situations”.

sorry again. i’m just very confused (and a bit scared by the hostility /nm) and was hoping that i could maybe get some clarification.

(btw, thanks to all the artists on this blog for making such cute art. it’s all really nice stuff.)

Hi there. This isn't the type of thing we would typically address here, but your approach tells me that you're looking to learn and understand, so I'll give you my thoughts.

First of all, to address hostility - it's intimidating and intense, because this is the kind of thing that fires people up. We're not exempt from this, because we do not want to see explicit content about minors, and we will be direct about this fact. And for some reason, some people get very offended when you tell them this.

I'm going to respond to you in good faith, and I don't assume any bad intentions on your part.

On aging characters up. I will be specifically talking about the sonic franchise as my example here, but this applies to any series where the focus characters are children.

Sonic and Shadow are kids. They are teenagers. Age discourse is NOT relevant. They are depicted as teenagers, they act like teenagers, and they are meant to be viewed as teenagers. And so this begs the question: why is there a need to see them in adult situations? Why is there a drive to depict minors in explicit situations?

Even if a creator is theoretically not making a piece about minors, when they choose to age up minor characters, that tells me that they thought about those minors in explicit situations, or that they wanted to see those minors in those situations, but needed a way to justify it.

This is why I fundamentally disagree with aging characters up to put them in adult situations. The core characters are children. Wanting to see a child character in explicit situations so badly that there is a need to justify it by aging them up or making an au or whatever is strange and disturbing, and I personally would not want to associate with someone who does that kind of thing.

Reflect on the issue yourself. All I can do is explain my reasoning, and say that I will choose not to associate with people who make and/or consume content of minor characters in explicit situations.

I appreciate that you want to learn. I am answering this question specifically because of the way you asked it, and that I see this as a way to tell you why we think certain things, and why we vehemently disagree with certain types of content. To others reading this, this post is NOT an invitation to discourse with us. I will not be arguing about ages or logistics or whatever. Do not try to convince me that nsfw of minor characters is okay, you'll get blocked immediately.

[thatgoblin]

If I'm There

Summary: You hadn't seen or spoken to him in over a year, but now you have to track down your ex-husband over unpaid parking tickets. It was supposed to be easy, but seeing him with his new partner made it anything but.

Soulmates AU, Simon/Johnny/Reader

Warnings: so much angst, past child death, alcoholism, divorce, heavy stuff, but happy ending.

A/N: I'm not completely pleased with it, I don't feel very strong with Simon and Johnny’s characters in this, but posting anyways. It's part of a series I had written a while ago, but it works as a one shot too. Song is 'If I'm There' by Bad Omens.

“Riley! I got a job for you!” 

I looked up from the paperwork I had been doing, bored out of my mind before stuffing it into the file it had come in. 

“Yes! Farah, love of my life, light of my heart, tell me it’s a good one,” I said, walking over to get a look from her. 

“Seems you’re on the hunt for a blast from your past,” the dark haired woman said, handing me a file. “12 unpaid parking tickets and has not shown up to court.” I opened the file, wanting to throw it away immediately, but seeing the large bounty on it, I kept it. It wasn’t often that amount was put out on people for nonviolent crimes and I wasn’t about to pass up something so easy. “Also a second one. 4 unpaid speeding tickets, 3 failure to signal tickets, and 1 ticket for having a pet off leash. . . An emu.” Farah handed me another file and the bounty was just as much. 

“And a partridge in a pear tree,” I said with a snort. “Merry Christmas to me.”

“It’s April,” Farah said evenly before turning back to the computer. 

“Well, it’ll feel like Christmas when I turn these two idiots in,” I said, taking their addresses to shove into my back pocket in case my first plan didn’t work. “With a nice bonus for you too.”

“Oh happy days,” Farah said dryly. 

“You know, you could be a bit more cheery about life,” I said, folding the legal paperwork I needed before putting it into my jacket pocket. 

“I could, but then we’d be friends and we can’t have that,” Farah said, not looking back.

“Of course, we wouldn’t want that,” I said, grabbing my phone from my desk. “Alright, I’m off. Hold down the fort and don’t set it on fire. Again.”

“I make no promises,” Farah said as I walked out the door. Walking over to my car, I pulled out my phone to dial a number I had deleted from my phone over a year ago. As I sat in the car, a little voice in the back of my head told me to ignore this job. That it was inviting chaos and discourse back into my life after I had struggled to get some sort of peace. I had to see him at some point and it was probably easier to do it this way rather than during an awkward grocery store run in. Tapping the numbers was second nature and I didn’t even hesitate on a single digit. I held the phone to my ear as I coached myself to stay cool.

“Hello?” A man’s voice came over the line. I hadn’t heard it in nearly a year, but it still sounded the same. “Hello?”

“Hey. . . It’s me,” I said, swallowing back every urge that wanted to throw the phone into the street and speed away. “I really need to talk to someone. Are you free right now?” There was a sigh then silence. I thought he’d hung up on me, but a jostling noise told me he was still there.

“Sure, where do you want to meet?” He asked, his tone flat.

“Joe’s Coffee Shop? Half an hour?” I asked. I felt a little bad about tricking him, but then again I had bills to pay and he clearly was already done with me. So I didn’t feel too bad. 

“Okay, see you there,” he said before hanging up. 

There are scars that'll never ever show themselves

You get when you're left alone too long in Hell

The drive to the coffee shop was short thankfully and I was able to get a good parking spot to wrangle my targets into it. Hereford had its ups and downs, but the ups were that it really wasn’t as big as everyone thought. My ex and I had lived there for most of our adult lives before we split. Going our separate ways had meant chaos and disarray at first, but then I got my current job after a few months and it was something I could throw myself into. 

We stayed in this area because while it was on the west coast, it was also a close knit community of sorts. People knew each other, local places were more abundant than chains, it just felt like back home. At Joe’s, I pulled up to park on the street before getting out of my black sedan. 

Joe’s Coffee Shop was a local favorite with an outdoor patio. It was April and a sunny day so there were lots of people there sunbathing while sipping on iced coffees. Going in, I ordered one myself before picking a spot outside. Lazily sipping my drink, I pulled out my phone to check the time. I was never patient and even when I was early and he was on time, it had always got on my nerves. 

“Hey.” 

I looked up to see him standing there with that blank look he always had. Mostly hidden by his black face mask. It was the same one I made him that had the lower half of a skull printed onto it. He always wore a balaclava with a similar print, but walking around with that got him into trouble a lot. So, I made a face mask for him. I had taken the time to learn to sew and make patterns when I was not a crafty person. Seeing him still wearing it, I was thrown off my game.

“Hey Simon,” I said, standing up. Did I hug him? Shake hands? High five? Regret was filling my stomach as he stood there. We’d divorced over a year ago and hadn’t talked to each other since, but now his stupid unpaid parking tickets brought him back into my life.

We were supposed to be soulmates. We had the marks that everyone was born with. Everyone had a soulmate, people even had more than one at a time. It was supposed to mean we were going to spend the rest of our lives together, like some magical fairy tale that adults tell children. 

If you found your soulmate you would feel more deeply, be more in tune with the other, have this special bond that no one else could have with you. Simon and I had had that bond. 

But then we didn’t. 

Things changed and we lost the bond or it broke or something and we couldn’t hack it. So, we divorced. I covered my mark on my hand with a small black bar tattoo, but Simon didn’t. I hated that he still had it. Just three simple arrows in a row on his forearm. We were meant to be together, so say the powers that be, but we proved them wrong. Life wasn’t a fairy tale. 

“Everythin’ okay?” He asked, sitting across from me, shaking me from my thoughts.

“Yeah, just. . . Got lost for a second,” I said, sitting down as well. 

“Are you seein’ that counselor still?” He asked. I nodded, taking a deep breath. I wasn’t there to catch up, I was there to collect a bounty. “Good,” he said.

“The reason I called you to talk in person is that I have a question,” I said, pulling out the legal paperwork. 

“About what?” Simon asked with a frown.

“12 unpaid parking tickets? You have 12 unpaid parking tickets?” I asked as I shook my head at him, holding up the warrant.

“What about them?” He asked, narrowing his eyes at the papers. “How do you know about that?” 

“Because you’ve got a warrant out for your arrest,” I said. “And I’m here to take you in.”

“Jesus,” Simon groaned, rolling his eyes as he shook his head. “You’re a bounty hunter now?”

“Yup. I was going to turn yours down, but the money was too good to give to someone else,” I said with a snort. Simon pinched his nose as he stayed sitting.

“This is a joke, isn’t it? It’s a really bad joke,” he said, looking at me. “Just tell me it’s a joke.”

“Not a joke,” I said, showing my badge and permit. “You never paid the tickets or showed up to court.” 

“Fuck me,” Simon hissed. 

“Everythin’ okay, Simon?” A Scottish brogue said.

I turned to see another man with a mohawk and the brightest blue eyes I’d ever seen walk over with a pair of coffees in hand. Wait a second. 

“Don’t tell me, you’re Johnny MacTavish?” I asked, looking up at him. 

“Uh, I am,” the man said, frowning as he looked at me.

“Oh wow, this has got to be the luckiest break ever!” I said, laughing as I stood up. 

“Simon?” Johnny said, frowning.

“Easiest job I’ve ever had,” I said, pulling out the handcuffs from my belt.

“You’re not actually goin’ to take me in,” Simon said, tilting his head to look up at me. “This is just a heads up, right?”

“Oh no. I’m for real arresting you both right now,” I said. “Unpaid parking tickets, jay walking and traffic tickets, no shows in court, and a fucking emu? This is truly an April Christmas miracle.” 

“I’m still confused, Simon?” Johnny said, looking at the other man. 

“Wait, how do you two know each other?” I asked, realizing they had shown up together.

“Johnny, this my ex-wife,” Simon said as he stood up. “And this is my boyfriend, Johnny.”

I did not expect to feel that pang in my chest hit so hard. Of course he moved on. Why wouldn’t he? He had been the more grounded of us after the dust settled. I had no right to feel jealous or hurt by it. If he hadn’t been in trouble then I would have had no idea anyways. 

“Wait, so she’s the one-” Johnny started.

“Yes, she is the one,” Simon nodded. “Now, when you’re done havin’ a laugh, I have to go. We have plans. Can’t believe after almost a year of not talkin’ and avoidin’ each other this is how you choose to show up again.”

“Oh, uh, it was nice to meet you,” Johnny said, tentatively holding out his hand for me to take after setting his drinks down. Fuck this. I slapped a cuff onto Johnny who cried out in confusion as I easily turned him to get his other hand. 

“I wasn’t kidding,” I grunted as I handled Johnny, directing him to my car.

“Are you fucking’ kiddin’ me right now!?” Simon snapped. 

“Like I said, I have arrest warrants for both of you. You’re lucky I even told you that,” I snapped back at him. Opening the car door, I put Johnny in the back before shutting the door. Simon didn’t seem to think it was going to go far, instead choosing to get on the phone with someone. 

“Yes, hello?” He said before I ripped his phone from him to hang up. “What the hell!?”

“Simon, just let me cuff you so we can get this over with and we can move on with our lives,” I said. 

“What is wrong with you? Normal ex’s don’t arrest each other,” he said, as I was able to get the cuffs on him just as easily.

“Yeah, well, we’re not normal ex’s,” I said with a sigh, putting the cuffs extra tight on his wrists. “Now shut up and get in the car.” Dragging him to the other side, I pushed him in next to Johnny before getting in myself. 

“Are we being kidnapped?” Johnny asked as I pulled out onto the road.

“You’ve both have warrants out for your arrest because you two dumbasses didn’t pay tickets on time or show up to court,” I said. “5 years we were together and you never learned to pay the damn tickets.”

“I was goin’ to pay them,” Simon said with a huff. “I’ve been busy.”

“Uh huh,” I said, rolling my eyes at him. Johnny seemed to just be in a constant state of confusion, but kept quiet at least. The drive to the police station was shorand usually if there was more than one to book I would have other people with me, but given that those two weren’t going to really give me trouble, I didn’t worry too much. With both of them in cuffs and compliant, I was able to get them booked easily enough. 

“Hey, Riley,” the officer at the desk, Roach, called as Simon and Johnny were being taken to be processed. I paused in my get away, ready to run as far and fast as I could.

They tried to keep in the secrets that you wouldn't tell

But they just stripped you for parts you had to sell

“Yeah?” I said, walking back over. I could see Simon staring at me hard from the cubicle he was in with Johnny that was just a couple of meters away. No doubt he heard the officer call me back over, still using his last name.

“Just need you to sign a few things for us,” Roach said. 

“Alright fine, but it better be quick, I got a lunch date with a Blood Mary,” I said with a huff. 

“You never changed your name,” Simon said, looking at me with a frown. 

“Uh… No, no I did not,” I said, keeping my eyes on the papers in front of me. 

“Why didn’t you change your name?” He asked.

“Because it’s a bitch to file paperwork and I’ve already been writing it for nearly 5 years. I made it a habit,” I said, glancing at him.

“No, no, you were filin’ for divorce before you even brought it up to me. You filed everythin’ before sayin’ a word,” Simon pushed. “Why didn’t you change your name?”

“I swear to god, Simon,” I hissed, slamming the pen on the counter. The small police station should have been buzzing about with noise, but as Simon kept demanding, everything and everyone went quiet. 

“Just tell me why you didn’t change your last name,” he pushed. 

“Because I still love you, okay?!” I snapped, whirling to glare at him. “I still love you, but we are not good together and it’s one piece of us that I can have without trouble. So there, there’s your answer, in front of your new boyfriend, too.”

“Love,” Simon said with a sigh. 

“Don’t,” I said, cutting him off. “Anything else for me to sign?” I asked, turning back to glare at Roach. 

“Uh, no that’s it,” Roach said. I hadn’t meant to crumble so easily. I thought I was stronger than that, but seeing him again, with someone else. . . What was I supposed to do? We used to be so good together, but then everything happened and shit hit the fan. I couldn’t be as soft as I once was and I couldn’t let him back in. It wasn’t fair to him. Not after the shit I put him through. 

“Thanks,” I said, turning on my heel. Thankfully no one called after me again, letting me get to my car and drive home in peace. Getting home, I walked in to shut the door behind me. It was barely 2pm but there I was going right for the vodka in my freezer. I’d been sober almost four months, but seeing Simon. . . I couldn’t. It was supposed to be an easy grab and go, he’d get pissed and grouchy while I hauled his ass to jail. 

Then it turned into a sudden confession at the police station in front of everyone and their dog to see and hear. I hoped that was the last I’d seen of him for a while. If ever. 

Well, if I'm there to catch you when you fall

You'll have a friend down in Hell after all

Pulling a glass from my cupboard, I put a handful of ice in it before filling it with the liquor. I brought the glass to my lips, but paused. On the fridge was a magnet with a purple heart on it and the name ‘Dierdre’ in cursive letters. Staring at it, I held onto the drink as that ache brought back by Simon deepened. Like a scab reopening to become infected. The burning smell of the vodka was enough to pull me from scratching that open wound. Slowly, I set the glass down. That job was a mistake and I knew it the whole time. I thought maybe the money would soften any damage done or any hurt feelings, but it hadn’t done a damn thing.

Taking a deep breath as my mind threatened to unravel any second, I reached out to grab the bottle of vodka. Unscrewing the cap, I let it drop to the counter. The feel of the icy bottle in my hand helped pull me up from the warmth of depression that was pulling me into its arms. I tipped the bottle to watch the clear liquid pour into the sink, splashing and running down the drain. When the bottle was empty, I did the same to the drink I had made. 

Standing in silence, I let out a sigh before moving to my living room, leaving the empty bottle on the counter.

And if you're there to catch me when I fall

Then maybe Hell ain't so bad after all

I pulled off my boots and jacket, texting Farah that I had everything signed and turned in and that I was done for the day. Shutting my phone off, I moved to flop onto the couch after peeling off my tight jeans. My bra went flying behind me, letting me settle in the warm weather with my windows open. The apartment was modest as Simon had kept almost everything in the divorce. I didn’t want it, so I left the house and anything I didn’t readily need with him. It was for the best. I didn’t need much and it made for less stuff when I moved. 

Flipping on the TV, I turned it to good ol’ golf. I could put golf on at any time and it would put me in a dreamless sleep. That was what I needed. No dreams, no thoughts, no worries or wonders. Just the comfortable void that I could exist in without overwhelming feelings of any kind. In minutes I was passed out on the couch. 

Until someone pounded on my front door. 

Groggily, I looked around, confused as the sun had set and I was chilly in my underwear and tank top. Another loud knock came that had me glaring at the offending door. 

“I’m coming!” I yelled, going to the door. Beside it in a small side table, I hid a Glock for when unsolicited callers came to the door. It was registered and everything, but wasn’t kept completely legal considering it wasn’t locked up with the ammo separated. My previous job and being a bounty hunter didn’t exactly make for the safest of conditions and the bad guys wouldn’t wait for me to put in my combination to my safe. “Who is it?” I asked, hand on the gun hidden under the table top. 

“It’s Simon.” Quiet a moment, I scrunched my face in frustration while holding back the urge to tell him to fuck off.

“What do you want?” I asked, not letting him in or taking my hand off the gun. 

“I want to talk to you,” he said. I heard him shifting around, waiting for me to answer. The thought of climbing out my window crossed my mind, but he’d just follow right behind me. Sighing heavily, I took my hand from the gun before I unlocked the door to open it. “Thank. . . You,” he said, his eyes trailing down my body. “Well then.”

“I was napping,” I grumbled, stepping aside. “Besides you’ve seen more of that.” I pushed the door to shut it, but it stopped when Johnny popped in. “Excuse me?” I said, looking between the two. 

“We need to talk about earlier,” Simon said as Johnny walked in. “All three of us.”

“I don’t understand,” I groaned, scrubbing my face. “Why are both of you here?”

“Do you wanna put some pants on? We can turn around,” Johnny offered. I stared at him before looking to Simon. 

“Just go have a seat on the couch, Darlin’,” Simon said with a soft sigh, rubbing Johnny’s arm. My eye twitched at the gesture and nickname, but I stayed quiet. 

“I’ll be right back,” I said, going to the bedroom which was technically part of the living room. It had a partition set up to kind of offer a sense of it being a different room, but I didn’t try that hard. I grabbed a pair of sweatpants and hoodie to pull on before I rejoined the two men. Johnny sat on the couch, watching some show on TV that had come on during my nap while Simon was in the kitchen, holding the empty liquor bottle. 

I didn't want to believe how much you needed help

And I just left you to be all by yourself

“I thought you said you were goin’ to counselin’,” he said softly. 

“I am,” I said, taking the bottle from him to put in the recycling. “It was in the freezer from almost 6 months ago. I poured it out.”

“Are you bein’ honest with me?” Simon asked, looking at me. His dark eyes looked scared, worried, unsure. It was more than he gave me earlier that day at the coffee shop.

“I am,” I said. “Promise.”

“Good,” Simon said with a nod before motioning to the couch.

“So, what was it you two wanted to talk about?” I asked, pulling over a chair from my table as Simon sat next to Johnny. 

“Aren’t you curious how we found ye?” Johnny asked as I turned off the TV. 

“Not really. I know how you found me,” I said. “One of two options. Either you tracked me back through my phone records or you talked to my office manager, Farah. Who honestly should know better than to give my address out, but I assumed you pestered her enough that she caved.”

“Wow, she is good Simon,” Johnny said with a smile. 

“I told you,” Simon said with a chuckle. I felt a hint of heat in my cheeks. Simon told Johnny about me? About how I was good at seeing things others didn’t? “Sorry, I told him you used to be a private investigator and he thinks it’s the greatest thing.”

“I love all those detective movies where the police don’t believe the evidence, but that rogue investigator finds it all out and cracks the case!” Johnny said excitedly. It was almost annoying, but it was also sweet. I hadn’t felt excited, truly excited, like that in a long time and didn’t know if I ever could again.

“It was mostly catching people cheating on each other,” I said, rubbing my face. “Hate to break the dream for ya.”

“That’s not what Simon said,” Johnny said. It was Simon’s turn to get a bit red in the cheeks. 

“Oh really? What did he say?” I asked, crossing my legs as I leaned forward.

“Not why we’re here,” Simon said, covering Johnny’s mouth with his hand. 

“Then why are you here?” I asked, turning my attention to him. 

“We’re here to talk about us,” Simon said, motioning between me and him. 

“What’s there to talk about?” I asked, sitting back up to cross my arms over my chest. “We’re divorced. We gave it a shot and it didn’t work out.”

“No, we gave it a shot and you called it quits. I was willin’ to work it out,” Simon said with a sigh.

“Obviously you don’t want to anymore, you brought your boyfriend over,” I said, motioning to Johnny.

“Johnny, go ahead and show her,” Simon said, looking to the other. 

“Show me what?” I asked. Johnny glanced from me to Simon before he pulled up his shirt and pulled his pants down a bit. On his right hip was his soulmate mark. I swallowed hard, looking at it as tears pricked my eyes. It was the same as me and Simon’s. Three small arrows. “Well, good for you, you found a soulmate after I covered my mark,” I said. “You wanted to let me know you’d moved on completely and that I shouldn’t contact you again.”

“No, that’s not it,” Simon said as Johnny sat back down.

“Then what is it, Simon?” I snapped. “What do you want? I filed for divorce, I left you, I moved away from you, and the first time I called you in nearly a year is to arrest you, so you think that means anything?”

And now I wish I had seen that you weren't doing well

But I just came back to see how hard you fell

“You said at the station that you were still in love with me,” Simon said.

“No, I said I still loved you. There’s a difference. I’m not in love with you,” I said. It was mean and cruel, but I couldn’t let him think there was a chance we’d have a happily ever after. I was too much of a mess and barely managed to keep myself going most days as a functioning adult. 

“But you could be,” Johnny said. I narrowed my eyes at him, snarling almost, but he didn’t flinch. “You could fall back in love with him.”

“I. . . I am not the person I used to be, Simon,” I said, trying to swallow back tears. “I’m not the girl you fell in love with and I probably won’t ever be her again. I’m not who you want or need.” 

“Maybe Johnny’s right,” Simon said, scooting closer to me. “We’re both different people, but we could fall in love again.”

“It has been over a year, Simon,” I said. “You moved on with Johnny and I moved on. What is the point of us getting back together? We’re not good together.”

“No, we were,” Simon said. “We just lost each other when we lost Dierdre.”

“Don’t,” I snapped, close to losing it. “Don’t bring her into this.” 

Well, if I'm there to catch you when you fall

You'll have a friend down in Hell after all

“You shut down so hard and pushed me so far away when we lost her, Love,” Simon said, reaching out to touch my knee. I pulled away instantly like his touch burned me. I sat rigid in my seat as I refused to look at him. “We made mistakes and we fucked up. I fucked up. I’m sorry that I wasn’t there when you needed me.” His voice was catching, making it hard to steel myself, to keep myself in my self appointed isolation. “It’s not your fault and I don’t blame you for anythin’. The drinkin’, the lyin’, the fights, I don’t blame you. Neither of us were in the right. I. . . I never stopped lovin’ you. Even when I met Johnny, I still loved you just as much as I did before. I still do.”

I shook my head, feeling my shell crack as tears slid down my face. 

“You had a miscarriage, Love. We lost our baby girl and I thought I lost you too,” Simon choked out. We didn’t talk like this after we got home from the hospital. I had been seven months pregnant when something happened. There were sharp pains that I shouldn’t have had. Before we knew it I was in the hospital bleeding, hemorrhaging. The sac she was in didn’t develop right and it burst. By the time I was in delivery she was already gone. I barely made it out alive. 

“You’re not just one event in your Simon’s life,” Johnny said suddenly, making me flinch. “A loss of a child is one of the hardest emotional pains to endure and a lot of couples do divorce afterwards because it seems like the world has come down upon you. It’s okay to feel those feelings and work through them, but it seems that you didn’t want to or didn’t have the capacity at the time to work through it with Simon. These things take time and that may be what was needed. Time.”

“Johnny was my counselor for a while,” Simon said with a soft chuckle. I looked at him, seeing the tears running down his cheeks, his mask off. It was the first time I had seen his face since before the hospital visit. “Then for obvious reasons I started seein’ a different counselor.”

And if you're there to catch me when I fall

Then maybe Hell ain't so bad after all

“The heart wants what it wants,” Johnny said with a soft smile and a shrug. “All that aside, with everything Simon has told me, I couldn’t deny him of seeing you. He loves you too much and I love him. I want us to be happy and even if that means we have separate relationships with Simon or if you just want to be friends again, I am all for it. Being married and together for so long, as well as soulmates, makes for an intense relationship, but also one you can’t just forget and burn a bridge to with something like you guys. All I ask is that you consider it and we’ll work through it together.”

“I don’t know,” I said softly. “I don’t think I’m ready or ever will be ready.”

“Love,” Simon said, reaching out to grasp my hand that had gripped my knee tightly. “We don’t have to pick up where we left off. I just. . . I need you in my life. Please.” 

God, the feel of his hand around mine made me want to curl into a ball in his lap, let him rock me and hold me. It was so hard to keep myself in check. 

“So, this is about making yourself feel better?” I said, trying to make a wedge between us. He needed to leave and move on with Johnny. They could be happy together, adopt, get a dog. I was too broken and missing pieces. There was no way that I could go back to him, not because he had been the cause, but because I was certain I would only hurt him again when he saw how badly I was cracked. “I told you, Simon. I am not who I was when we met, let alone when we got married. This version of me is not someone who is the loving and caring partner that is soft and a safe place to land.”

Build me up or tear me down, I will never make a sound

Build me up or tear me down

“How about a reset?” Johnny said. I looked at him confused, unsure what he was getting at. “You wipe the slate clean, you start over. That means, you start out as friends again, move on from there. I find it helps couples that feel they can’t get over certain bumps in the road to have an imaginary reset button. It’s been a year since you two have been around each other, you’re obviously in different places in your lives, and you have changed. A reset would probably be the best thing for you two if you want to be around one another again.”

“So what, we just pretend nothing happened before now?” I asked with a scoff.

“No, you definitely don’t do that,” Johnny said. “You start fresh. You acknowledge that you both have a past, but you don’t work around it. You work with it.” 

“I’m on board for whatever you want,” Simon said. I took a deep breath, holding Simon’s hand without realizing it. 

Run a dagger through my chest, I believe it's for the best

Build me up or tear me down

“I can’t,” I said, pulling my hand away from him. “I just can’t.” That sucking pit in my chest that had snuck up on me was gasping to get more of me. 

“You don’t have to punish yourself for losing a child,” Johnny said. He had gone to his knees in front of me, making me see his face as he looked up at me. His words were spoken softly, but a force to pull me back from that place I was comfortable with. Where it was dark and lonely and it made sense to feel guilt. “You did everything you could to keep her safe and loved her so much. You were a good mum. It’s not your fault.”

All I could do was stare at him as he nodded, taking my shaky, clammy hands in his large, rough ones. I had manhandled him into cuffs earlier without hesitation, moving on instinct, and now I was in his calm, grounding grasp. “But-”

“It will never be your fault. There is no need to punish you for something that was not your doing. You deserve to be loved and have someone be there for you. This was not a failure on your part and never will be. You can let go of that weight. You’re not alone anymore and don’t have to be again.”

There are scars that'll never ever show themselves

You get when you're left alone too long in Hell

“Okay,” I choked out. “I. . . I want to try the reset thing.”

“We’ll go slow and easy,” Simon said. 

“I want to start as friends, with both you and Johnny,” I said looking from Simon to Johnny.

“That’s the most I would ask for,” Johnny said, a smile on his face. 

“Give me some time right now. I’ll text you later and we’ll go from there, okay?” I said, needing to remember to breathe.

They tried to keep in the secrets that you wouldn't tell

But they just stripped you for parts you had to sell

“Sounds good,” Simon said, a smile spreading across his face as well. Even though we got what we all wanted apparently, why was I the only one not smiling? Why did it feel like I wasn’t going to get what was promised? The only person dangling the carrot in front of me was myself and I knew the bitch would never let me have it if someone didn’t make her.

“I’m gonna give you two a minute, I’ll be out in the car,” Johnny said, getting up. He dropped a kiss to Simon’s head and waved to me before letting himself out. 

“What?” I said, looking at Simon as he stared me down.

“Do you really want to do this? To reset?” He asked. 

“If I didn’t, would I have said yes to it?” I asked, rolling my eyes, unable to keep from putting up my guards.

“No, but that doesn’t mean you’re lettin’ it all out there,” he said. 

“I just. . . I don’t know. I feel like I let two strangers into my apartment to emotionally bully me into a relationship that I am terrified of,” I said with a sigh. “I don’t know how to be or to act around you anymore.”

“It’s okay,” Simon said, taking my hand in his. It was warm and rough, just like always. “We’ll figure it out. I’ll give you all the time and space you want.”

“What if I don’t want space?” I blurted out. I had shut down after Dierdre, pushed everyone away, and made myself alone. Like Johnny had figured out, I was punishing myself for my daughter’s death. I did that to myself because it felt like the right thing to do at the time, but I didn’t want it anymore. Not when Simon wanted me back, but. . . 

“What do you mean?” Simon asked.

“I mean. . . I am so tired of being alone and I am so tired of pushing people away. I don’t care about the sex or kissing, I just don’t want to be alone again,” I said, managing to get it out before I broke down into sobs. 

And if you're there to catch me when I fall

Then maybe Hell ain't so bad after all

Simon didn’t let go of me. Slowly, he pulled me from my chair to set me in his lap. His long arms wrapped around me, holding me tight as I sobbed against him. 

It had been so long since I’d had that simple comfort that I didn’t want to let go. I didn’t want to go slow and stay home by myself. I wanted to go with Simon and Johnny and just stop being fucking alone. It was as if Simon was reading my mind as the back of my hand began to itch under my tattoo. 

“Why don’t you come home with us for a while?” Simon asked. “Don’t worry about anythin’, I’ll help you pack a bag and when you feel up to it, we’ll come back.”

Build me up or tear me down, I will never make a sound

Build me up or tear me down

“Okay,” I nodded, hiccuping from crying so hard. There was no fight left in me as he continued to hold me, only taking out his phone to text Johnny. A few more minutes and I walked with him like a child holding their parents hand to their bedroom where the monsters were. We packed a basic bag before I slid on shoes then grabbed my keys, phone, and wallet. With my place locked up, Simon led me out to the car where Johnny was waiting in the driver’s seat. He didn’t say a word or make any fuss as Simon got in the back with me to hold me as we drove back to their house. 

I knew Simon had sold our old house six months ago, getting another one down the street from it. It was a blessing because I would not be able to go back into that house. Brief flashes of how we had worked to make it ours, the decorations, furniture, the nursery ran through my mind. But instead of breaking down and having a drink, I nuzzled against Simon’s chest as his heavy arm kept me close.

Run a dagger through my chest, I believe it's for the best

Build me up or tear me down

Once there, I walked in holding Simon’s hand. Johnny didn’t seem surprised at all by any of it. In fact it was almost like he was expecting it. “Here’s some water and ibuprofen, you probably have a headache and are dehydrated,” he said as he handed me both items.

“Thanks,” I said, taking them. 

“If you’re hungry we can order something or you’re more than welcome to lay down or even take a shower, whatever you’d like,” Johnny said as he took my bag for me. Going down the hall and straight to their room. I knew it was their room because it had a huge bed I could see from the front. 

“I can sleep on the couch or the guest room,” I said, trying to back peddle from something I didn’t even realize was taking off so quickly.

“Don’t worry about,” Johnny said. “You’re probably touch starved and your soulmates haven’t been around in a year. It’ll create a tension of sorts, make you irritable, cause mood swings, depression, anxiety, general mental disarray. The best thing to do for it, if you can, is to be with your soulmates. That means you share the bed with us.”

“Us?” I said, my voice cracking.

If I'm there to catch you when you fall

You'll have a friend down in Hell after all

“Simon will sleep in the middle, don’t worry,” Johnny said as he walked to the closet to grab extra pillows and blankets. 

“I think I’ve just been bamboozled,” I mumbled. That little shit knew all along that I’d end up coming home with them. He probably knew about the tickets! Knew that I was a bounty hunter! I was going to have to keep my eye on him. 

“Probably,” Simon said with a chuckle. “He’s shifty like that. But, he is right. You’re probably touch starved, so you’re stayin’ in the same bed as us. Do you want to shower or anythin’?” 

“I just want to lay down. My head is killing me and I’m a bit overwhelmed,” I said.

“Fair enough, keep drinkin’ the water though,” Simon said as he led me to the bedroom. 

“Yes, Sir,” I said with a snort before taking a drink of the water.

“Oh, yeah, Simon is definitely, Sir,” Johnny said as he put the pillows and blankets on the bed for me. I couldn’t help but choke on my water. “Oh, too soon?”

And if you're there to catch me when I fall

Then maybe Hell ain't so bad after all

“I think she just needs to rest,” Simon said, patting me on the back. 

“Okay,” Johnny said with a shrug. “Here’s a wet cloth for ye too.” He handed me one for my eyes before walking out. 

“Here, you get settled,” Simon said, helping me get into the large, California King sized bed. “Need anything else?” 

If I'm there to catch you when you fall

You'll have a friend down in Hell after all

“No, I think I’m good,” I said, letting him drape the wet cloth over my forehead. 

“Alright. I’m gonna go take a shower then I’ll be in to lay down with you, okay?” He said.

“Okay,” I mumbled, already falling asleep. It didn’t take long for me to do just that, but I woke up later as Simon was sliding into bed. All the noises were gone from the usual household that was awake, telling me everyone was going to bed. I felt Simon lay on his back, making it easy for me to move to lay with my arm over his belly. What I didn’t expect was another arm to lay over mine. At first I wanted to pull away, but the longer I let it stay, the more it felt right.

And if you're there to catch me when I fall

Then maybe Hell ain't so bad after all

Masterlist

Taglist: @birdstoprey @sebbytheraccoon @pricescigar @alwaysshallow @sae1kie @sleepydang @lexi-zsy09 @ghostlywhiskey @ghosts-cyphera @poohkie90 @neothewitch @shadofireshinobi @sadslasher13 @0alk0msan @xaestheticalien

[crimeronan]

a lot of the discourse around likes versus reblogs seems profoundly sideways to me in that 1) telling people that liking things is Bad and that they're Bad to do it will not make them reblog stuff. it will make them stop liking posts. and then you will get absolutely no user engagement, and 2) i feel like there is a fundamental misunderstanding of why people don't reblog posts.

this isn't some kind of well-constructed thesis that i can apply to the entire userbase but most people that i've met who don't reblog stuff..... just.... don't want to perform.

curating your public blog for other people's eyes is a performance, whether you tag ramble or not. choosing what content to boost and what content to keep and what content to ignore requires active thought and refinement of that performance. and the performative nature of social media is especially terrifying these days, when posting or reblogging the Wrong Thing can often invite ire or misinterpretation or mockery based on things you never said or meant. that's why there was a time period like five years back when i didn't post on this blog at all for like a full year. too much anxiety surrounding the Concept of Conflict. the mere Potential that i might upset/harm/anger some hypothetical strawman

unfortunately writing "the website will die if you don't reblog, and likes make artists feel bad" doesn't encourage people to reblog. it makes them associate both liking AND reblogging posts with being subject to a stressful set of pre-determined rules that they don't fully understand and will unknowingly violate. so they stop engaging altogether. this is especially common with neurodivergent people who do not do well with sets of seemingly-arbitrary rules!

the truth is that if you want people to reblog stuff, there needs to be a site culture in which they feel comfortable doing so. which means that they need to be confident that their posts and thoughts are not only worth sharing, but also will be taken in good faith. there have been some very good posts to this end! shifting the expectation of Maintaining A Blog & explaining how tumblr blogs are more like corkboards in a dorm room than like megaphones.

but the frustrated and dire-toned posts about Killing The Website are. not helping. content creators are of course entitled to frustration! and entitled to express it however they want! but i'm afraid that mass-sharing these angry posts like they're somehow helpful guides is.... doing the opposite of what people want. like it just instills a new level of anxiety and negativity toward Any engagement

imo with this, as with pretty much any other situation where you want to change people's minds about something, the most effective work is going to involve a lot of patience and kindness and swallowed annoyance and expended energy. not everyone has the bandwidth for this (i certainly don't, at least not consistently) and being openly frustrated and angry and unhappy is much, Much easier. it just. also..... doesn't work for the results you want.

[ingravinoveritas]

I just want to say I love your blog- I came across it last night and completely went down the rabbit hole and completely convinced of the MS/DT love. I wanted to know what you thought of this video

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8p7x9jV/

Even the mere mention of his name that is not appearing to be about Michael Sheen, David makes it about him and lights up. What do you think about how David reacts in interviews, shows etc where either David brings him up on his own or he comes up and he reacts? I see his demeanor change almost instantly. I feel that people don’t see as much of this coming from David and even though it’s not as obvious as Michael, it’s really there.

Hi there! Well thank you so much for the kind words about my blog--I'm always happy to know folks like what I am doing and are enjoying my ridiculous posts. I really appreciate it!

That video you linked to is a great one, and one I have talked about previously on my blog. I'll put my gifs up here so we have a visual reference:

The first thing (of course) that stood out to me was this random fan mentioning his friend, and immediately David thought of Michael. Because there are a lot of Michaels in the world, after all. Michael Caine. Michael Myers. George Michael, even. And yet David's mind went straight to Michael Sheen--his Michael--and that seems so telling.

I also have a tag on my blog for the many instances of David and Michael bringing each other up when the other isn't there, as that is also one of my favorite things. There are a lot of wonderful examples there, but I think one that is really worth checking out is a podcast David was on two years ago with fellow actor Paapa Essiedu. Paapa brought up Michael earlier in the interview, but later on it's David who brings him up, and there is such impossible fondness in his voice when he talks about him.

(I think this also ties into something I've discussed a few times on my blog, which is David feeling more comfortable opening up when doing an audio interview where we can't see him, versus a video interview where we can. A supposition that rings particularly true in the case of David's own podcast episode where he interviewed Michael in 2019.)

One of the most memorable things David said in the interview with Michael is, "You're an honest version of how I'm feeling." Five years ago, this seemed especially true because David was so much more reserved than Michael--less obvious, as you said--but in no way did that mean his feelings were less strong. What we see now in David's reactions when Michael is brought up--that shift in demeanor, that complete softness he emanates in a way he doesn't with others--is the externalization of something that was always there on the inside.

In that vein, I want to make sure your second Ask doesn't go unaddressed, as the NTAs are another vivid example of David's softness around Michael, and to date, still one of the most special nights in the fandom. I've written about a lot of my thoughts on it in detail, so I invite you to check out my #NTA Awards 2021 tag for a whole lot of analysis and discourse.

I hope this helps to answer your questions. Thanks for writing in! x

[abstractgirlobject]

noBODY is pressuring ANYONE to be a Transfem!

Hi, so I live in the real world where everyone hates transfems. I've had a streak of sleeping with multiple cis boys, whom, after hooking up with them, realized they were actually girls. Did I MAKE them trans somehow? At no point did I tell them they HAD to be girls. I did what I thought was right and let them figure it out on their own. I told them it was a possibility but truly only they can know whether or not they are.

So then why do I keep seeing people talking about how there's a group of transfems out there MAKING poor GNC cis boys into girls? I was not invited into this group, when I probably have more than enough qualifications. You see when I hear people talk about that, I think about something similar I heard about how transgenders are going to make your children trans and somehow destroy America with this Excess of Power over others that this very marginalized and targeted group somehow has. And then it clicked, this group of highly organized dangerous transgenders not only doesn't exist, it's also exactly what the right is constantly fearmongering about.

You see when I think about my experience as an egg, because I'm harsher on myself than I am to others, I just end up screaming at my former self YOU'RE A GIRL TAKE THE ESTROGEN HONEY. when in reality little egg me didn't know yet and saying that wouldn't have helped her. What I'm NOT saying with this post is that anyone who's actually forcing eggs to transition before they're ready is at all justified in doing that. I'm not the type to she/her cis boys i think might be fruity enough to be eggs. (unless they want me to in bed.) I just think its odd how much this egg discourse lines up with what I was told by people when i was figuring out my gender.

"you can just be a boy who wears dresses and makeup. you can just be a femboy. you can just be a GNC cis boy. You can just be a boy. you just are a boy. You are a boy. Don't pretend you're not."

This is pressure to be cis that has masked itself under sounding more progressive. Y'know, the kind of stuff you hear in conversion therapy. Why are you so scared I'm going to take your femboys away from you? Why is allowing more transfems to realize who they are via a funny meme a bad thing? Why is more t-girls a bad thing? The longer this conversation goes on the more it sounds like the same old shit, people hating transfems for having some kind of power they don`t have, and blaming them for intracommunity discourse when the real problem is how many people actually hate us.

There are two ways to end this, either you accept that you have some unconscious biases and you can reevaluate your stance while I can accept that not every trans girl is an angel and some of them may get a little excited and pressure eggs to crack early instead of letting them incubate like they're supposed to.

Or you try to get rid of transfems because clearly they're the problem here.

fuck off

[cola-grey]

i've been informed that it's Aromantic Awareness Week which means it's the perfect time for me to inflict upon the internet a rare Thought™

the thought is this: i understand why aroace people sometimes push QPRs as the aroace version of romantic relationships (the usual reason that queer people try to put themselves and their community into clean, sanitised boxes: for legitimacy in the eyes of the cisheteropatriarchy) but. but it's not and we're kinda doing ourselves a disservice by treating it like it is, at least amongst ourselves¹.

QPRs are not, fundamentally, Aro/Ace Dating or Dating Lite™. they can function that way or feel that way, but they don't have to. QP is a label for life long best friends, people who gave been mistaken for dating so long that they don't bother correcting it anymore, people who would marry for tax benefits, roommates who are never planning to part ways. it's for people who are always invited to each other's family gatherings even though they're not related or dating.

it's for people who'd go to jail for each other. it's for people who are each other's emergency contacts even though they're "just" friends. it's for alloromantic allosexual people whose most important relationship/s are platonic.

it's for FWB who are never ever gonna catch The Right Feelings but are gonna be BFFs. it's for people whose feelings are fluid, or who can't label their feelings and honestly can't be bothered trying to anymore because the exact nature of them doesn't matter.

asking someone if they want to be QP is just a way to say "hey, you're one of the most important people in my life" — it's just a relabelling for what's already there. it's a shorthand for "we come as a package" in a society where everyone is always trying to tell you that that package is meant to contain a specific kind of feeling that it never will.

and a final, bonus thought: i really don't think QPRs should be A Thing That Should Be Sought Out.² it's extremely understandable to want A Relationship given the whole amatonormativity thing³ but I don't think that desire is ever the basis of a good relationship. if you'll take my advice, put the QP label in a drawer for if you ever need it, and focus instead on just being a good friend, and finding good friends who deserve your good friendship. spend more time with the people who are always excited to run into you. let ordinary friendship be important to you, instead of looking for happiness in a box.

¹obviously it it makes your life easier to call it dating when talking to straight people/your family/strangers, do what's best for you, I'm referring specifically to the Discourse™ in Queer Spaces™ here

²although, i don't think romantic relationships should be either, so

³this Tara Mooknee video is a good primer on amatonormativity if you're not familiar

[iriswestallenn]

The discourse on Saltburn is so interesting to me because you either choose to take the movie as a fun romp or a movie "that had nothing [new] to say." Or that things happened just for shock value.

While there's definitely an argument to be made that this film had nothing/little to say, (as I am struggling with some themes they seemed to drop halfway through as well,) I just took this movie as a fun romp haha. You have to sit back and remember... they drew curtains back after a major character death and the entire room was RED! They isolate their black family member. They put a deer costume on Oliver during his bday party. A DEER. This movie was never trying to be subtle.

I've seen some crazy takes like "rich people good?" lmao Felix is arguably the 'nicest' family member right? Jacob Elordi and the script honestly do a really good job showing he's just as shitty as his family. After telling Oliver about his life, he asks Oliver, what about you? Cmon, what else? Siblings? ANYTHING interesting about you? Oliver should not have lied... if he didn't though, do you actually believe Felix would have kept talking to him? Felix gathered his family around and told them exactly "what happened" to Olivers mom and dad. No one would DO THAT! Especially if you've invited this person to your home!!

This internet age refuses to accept multiple things can be true at the same time haha when Felix learned from Farleigh that Ollie and Venetia hooked up, Felix STOMPED to the breakfast table. Folded his arms, ignored Ollie, made no eye contact. Then admitted he didn't want Ollie to be with Venetia, he had a problem with THE LAST GUY he brought to their home being with Venetia. They bring a new "poor" person their home every damn Summer. Multiple truths: 1. Felix shouldn't have been friggin killed. 2. Felix was a shitty person. Jesus

I understand the shock value critique. None of the three big scenes came across like shock value to me personally. I think it's because 1. It was all coming from Oliver. Oliver slurped the tub water, he fucked the grave, he put the period blood back in Venetias mouth. I think if everyone in the family was also doing weird fucked up shit, I'd be like, oookay. Now how is everyone here a weirdo? lol but it was just Oliver. 2. I thought this was a cannibalism movie lmao so I was actually expecting worse!

Obviously people can have different opinions but this movie and its discourse have been super interesting to me. I really enjoyed this movie but my main negative is that it does present itself in the beginning of the movie as though it has something to say but it doesn't have much to say? You're also not made aware that Olivers main objective was the house. Or if it wasn't the house at the start, at what point did it become about getting everything from the family?

Remember the friend Ollie had at the school that he later dropped? That friends last words to Ollie were, "he'll [felix] will get bored of you." Or something like that. That was so dumb lmao Venetia says this exact thing later in the movie. Why not make that friends last words to Ollie about status? Tie that into what Farleigh begins to tell Ollie and make Ollies goal clear to the audience even before the "plot twist."

That scene in school with the tutor. Oliver read the whole summer reading list. He came to college ready to go by the rules and succeed. There's no clear turning point imo. When Farleigh gets there late, doesn't care, definitely didn't read the reading list, and the tutor is like, "I knew your hot mom. We weren't friends, I just admired her from afar." I wish there was more focus on Oliver realizing following the rules would get him nowhere he wanted to be.

I ended up enjoying this movie because I'm satisfied with how fun it was, how GORGEOUS it looks, and how great the performances are. Not good, great performances truly. It's so sad that this could have been a 'no plot, just vibes' kinda movie. But instead there is some semblance of a plot lol it's just not fully fleshed out. I still think people are taking it way too seriously and the genuine distain for it is odd but there's a tug and pull here for sure.

[wackus-bonkus-maximus]

Idk if you’ve heard yet, but apparently the miraculous writing team released a commentary about the s5 finale, and in it they said that Chat Noir not being in the finale was their plan from the beginning (like 2014/15) so they could use the Bug Noire powerup with Marinette. Since you’re working on LoA, I’m curious for your thoughts 😬

i have been off tumblr for a few days but the gist of all the discourse seems to be a disfavorable attitude toward this decision!

"kill your darlings" isn't just about killing characters - it's about killing things that you personally really want in your story if they don't work. personally, i think they could have made bug noire work. there's a lot going against adrien already that he felt chat noir couldn't have helped in the final battle. he didn't need to have a dream about destroying the world; ladybug could've told him about it, and it would have been narratively satisfying to her arc of secret keeping. even moreso, because by chat noir not being present at the battle, ladybug lost and gabriel made the wish. then she could've started season six with reason to think she can't tell anything to adrien, but to chat noir too. and if chat noir had a little breakdown about his chat blanc past, it would have justified ladybug not sending that text to chat about gabriel's identity (in that moment). she probably wouldn't have wanted him to know he'd basically killed gabriel, too.

it just seems like bug noire is a darling they were determined to keep and paid the cost of more coherent narrative decisions to get there. it seems also like adrien remaining in the dark is also a darling the writers wanted to keep. sure, they're getting to tell the story they wanted, but not in the most cohesive or coherent way. but you know what, at least it invites a lot of fic ideas for how the post-wish world should look! and that's really what me and noodles are doing in lies of attrition.

[raccoon-eyed-rebel]

Actually...

I take it back. The absolute worst thing that's come out of this is the anon message I know I didn't just fucking get. Someone tell me I'm fucking hallucinating.

I'm gonna put this under a cut because if you woke up in a good mood this morning, or are not feeling this type of negativity then I respect that and I applaud you for protecting your peace.

But I need to vent.

Imma put a few fun little panda GIFs here and wait for you to truly decide if you don't want to use that back-button right about now.

"Fuck this blonde bitch I hope she lose that bastard and dies in the process".

That's the message I got. I didn't want to answer it directly because I really want to give people the opportunity to avoid the whole discourse if they want to, and answering directly would have a) thrown it in everyone's face, and b) probably would have just invited anon to come at me again, and honey, I ain't got the time.

Anon is blocked, of course, and I thought that would be enough but every time I think about this — and I can't stop thinking about it — I get more and more excruciatingly fucking ANGRY to the point where it physically hurts me, so I need to get this off my chest.

It takes a special kind of human garbage to type shit like that. And I swear to god that if I had any kind of money, I would invite you and your sorry ass to come off anon and I would immediately offer to pay for the therapy that you clearly desperately need.

What in the ever loving fucking fuck could ever prompt a person to wish death on not just a woman they've never even fucking met — regardless of whether you 'like' her or not, just take two seconds to breathe in, hold, and out again, bend your knees, get all the way down to the fucking floor and pick up what I'm about to put down: YOU DON'T KNOW HER. Alright. Got that? Good. — so not just a woman you've never met, but her and her unborn baby?

(Also... "bastard"? Really? Like... Meaning "child born to unwed parents"? Because a) so what? Children are born 'out of wedlock' every single day and it's literally not a problem, so there's that. And also b) they may actually be married and just haven't told anyone. And I can tell you it's because of people who would have responded exactly the way you just fucking did. So...)

Like, if you care so deeply about this entire situation that you feel the inexplicable and uncontrollable need to harass people on anon about it, I'm gonna suppose you consider yourself a fan of Henry, right?

I say 'consider yourself' instead of 'are' because I'm of an entirely different opinion. Because how, if you're a fan of anyone, could you possibly wish death (or any other kind of harm) on the two people that man loves most in the world. Because that's what that is. That's what you're doing.

I know people who have lost a spouse. I know people who have lost a baby. And although I'm not going to stand (sit) here and pretend to know what that feels like, I'm pretty confident saying this:

That is irreparable damage.

Damage you will learn to live with. Pain that you will carry with you for the rest of your life.

That's what you're wishing on a man you supposedly care about. Someone you care so much about, in fact, that you took time out of your no doubt not all too busy schedule to harrass other people saying this completely despicable shit, ruining days (congratulations, you managed that, at least. It's an accomplishment, I guess).

I'm fucking depressed right now. Not because of this, and not because of you, don't worry. This was a preexisting condition. All I wanna say is that, in addition to sorting out all of those feelings I'm having by myself, about myself, and about my own life, I really don't need to deal with the pile of human garbage that is your fucking psycho ass, anon.

Get help.

Or at the very least fucking 'suffer' in silence.

[pommunist]

im sorry to dump this in your inbox and if you want to delete it please go right ahead, it obviously invites a lot of discourse that you might not want to involve yourself in, but im so frustrated right now. people just keep passing around the same tired nonsensical arguments to try to discredit lea or any of the admins any way they can just to parasocially defend a fucking COMPANY and its just so stupid. "this shouldve been private" did you miss the fact that this started bc they were attempting to resolve it in private and lea got fired for asking for help from pierre? "lea doxxed quackity" she didnt even mean to and she apologized and deleted the tweet as soon as she realized "lea is xenophobic" over a mistranslation. give it up yall Quackity Studios®️ isnt gonna fuck you

First thing first, Xenophobia should never be seen as a « nonsensical argument », whether or not you believe it was perceived as such because of language difference or anything else.

As for the doxxing thing, people can have their thoughts and talk about it, but I won’t because it’s not directly related to the QSMP situation. What I’m trying to say is that these are serious topics than can be discussed, and also not everyone who raised these subjects used it to discredit the admins experience.

The « should’ve been private » argument tho… I can’t like yes, duh, it should’ve ! However it was not possible since communication seems to be a foreign concept within the higher hierarchy of Qstudios so their fault really. I put this in the same category as the « just be patient » argument, like no sorry what we’re talking about is severe mistreatment and exploitation of workers so lets focus on that instead of telling victims and outraged fans how they should act.

Personally I want to focus solely on the workers rights, the way the issues are being handled by Qstudios, the legal aspects of the problems, and just what revolves around the Qadmins situation in general. I have no interest in discussing the character of any CCs or admins as individuals, peripheral issues or fandom « discourse ». Doesn’t mean I don’t care about it just I don’t want to distract the discussion away from the « main » topic.

So if some people sent me anons that were more focused around the doxxing thing, or around being angry at some people’s reactions and were wondering why I didn’t answer them, that’s why ! No hate to y’all, you are still free to use my askbox as a venting place if you want to, I just hope you can understand why I chose, and will continue to choose, not to answer them ✌️

(edit : if you have genuine questions/are looking for answers about the doxxing situation or something else, hop in my dms rather than send me an anon)

Also anon, that last sentence, while I can see where you come from, let's still stay cordial and respectful !

[tridentqueen]

share your thoughts about ep 1 and pls give us a spoiler

Hello! Thank you for asking ❤️ Putting everything under the cut!

Just in case: I do not mention book spoilers for the Dance itself, but I do bring in like one or two points from Fire & Blood related to scenes in the episode.

This is all going off memory, so it might be a little jumbled. Also, this is not an invitation to start team discourse or character bashing. That’s not what this blog is for. That said, I’m happy to talk more about the episode if anyone wants!

Overall I thought it was a good episode until the end (more on that later). The beginning was a little rough with the number of short scenes/cuts (is that the right word? lol), but I totally understand the necessity of getting all the major players on the screen in the first few minutes.

I am a Stark girlie first, so it was nice to see the North again and hear the Winterfell theme. With very little direct mention of the White Walkers, I’m curious to see if the show leans into the Song of Ice and Fire prophecy going forward. This is a complete aside, but I’m not really sure how I feel about it. I’m pretty sure Aegon’s dream came straight from Martin, but idk if I buy that the knowledge survived Maegor. Maybe Aegon the Uncrowned told Rhaena, and she told Jaehaerys? I don’t know.

ANYWAY I guess I thought we would have a longer scene with Jace and Cregan showing more of their friendship or bond, but with only 8 episodes this season the writers couldn’t really allow that to breathe. In a world with 9 or even 10 episodes this season, I think (and this is totally off the cuff) a good premiere would have covered Jace’s time in the North, Rhaenyra searching for Luke and deciding that she will go to war, Team Black’s grief, the Greens finding out about Luke’s death and their reactions/realizing war is no doubt inevitable now/etc. and leaving Blood & Cheese for the second episode.

Rhaenyra’s scenes were extremely powerful. Emma is such an amazing actor, and you can really feel Rhaenyra’s grief and anger. Jace’s return, their embrace, and Luke’s funeral were excellent. I wish there had been more time to explore their grief, but I get it.

Rhaenys’s “Would that you were king” was so great lmao. I loved Rhaenys in the book, and I’m looking forward to seeing her role this season. Corlys wasn’t really in the episode a lot, but his scene with Alyn was interesting. It wasn’t clear to me what exactly their relationship with each other is at this point, but we’ll see how the show approaches it.

I don’t have super strong feelings about Daemon telling Blood & Cheese to go after Aemond. I know before the episode aired some people were mad because they thought it was going to be another case of misunderstanding/them going rogue on their own, but I thought the episode made it pretty clear that he told them off-screen to kill Helaena’s son if they couldn’t find Aemond. Jaehaerys and Helaena were the targets from the get-go in the book, and there is lots to be said about the dishonor of targeting a child during a war and the psychological damage his death was intended to inflict, but this is a change I’m personally okay with. I totally understand if people aren’t, though.

Aegon was great! I’d seen TGC being referred to as one of the standouts of the first four episodes, and wow is that completely right. He seems to me the type of dad who likes to play with the kids but then won’t discipline them haha. Tyland beefing with Jaehaerys was hilarious. Aegon is still new at the whole king thing, and I’ll admit I was side-eying him a little with Otto when he was like “yeah, everyone can get everything they’re asking for, it’s whatever” but as my friend (and others) pointed out it completely tracks with him wanting to be liked by everyone. It also is a good continuation of his coronation scene – you can see him transform when the crowd starts to cheer, so it makes sense that he’d want to keep that energy going, especially with a rival claimant.

Also, I think Otto is such a fun character. Him immediately turning to walk up the steps of the throne as soon as Aegon said anything was so funny to me. I know a lot of people hate Otto, but I do think he’s a good Hand of the King.

I’m really interested to see how Alicent’s arc goes this season, how much influence she’ll have as the war goes on and all that and how she’ll feel about everything. Right now her and Otto are both frustrated by Aegon (and Aemond) so I’m excited by the potential there. I’m also curious about her reaction next episode – she’s still wanting peace right now (understandable! Dragons going to war only brings death and destruction, fire & blood) but that might change after Jaehaerys’s murder. We shall see.

I’m fine with Alicole happening because it was clear in season 1 that they were devoted to each other, but I wish we had gotten more build up to it rather than just starting the episode with them together because it just raises a ton of questions. When did they start, being the obvious one. And them being together during Blood & Cheese was ridiculous. I’ve seen some people blaming them for it even happening, which is also silly.

On the topic of Blood & Cheese… wow I hated how they adapted it. The entire reason they sneaked in through the secret passageways in the book was because of the sheer number of guards in the Red Keep. Yet in the show there’s not a single one in the wing in which the royal family reside? Please be serious. And them just walking through the throne room? Stop. I’m assuming they’re trying to go with everyone having a sense of guilt over it but come on.

And Helaena’s reaction was way too muted. I understand that she was disassociating, but to only have her offer her necklace and then just point Jaehaerys out? No. My friend mentioned to me that in Helaena’s first scene she is saying something like “they only want the boy,” which I completely missed, so she apparently already saw it happening. And I think that could have opened the door (and maybe it will in future episodes, I can’t say) to explore how Helaena’s dreams “work” – the show hasn’t really done a lot with it, and I think it would have been really powerful if Helaena did all she could to try to change it. A “I saw this happening, but I’m going to fight tooth and nail to prevent my dream from coming true and prove the future is not set in stone” type of thing and then the tragedy of maybe it cannot be changed, after all.  

Blood & Cheese is one of (if not THE) worst moments of the entire Dance and it’s a moment that was supposed to really make the viewers ask themselves “what is the cost of the Iron Throne?” And the heartbreak of Helaena, after realizing Blood & Cheese will not kill her instead in exchange for her sons’ lives, having to choose between her children and then having to live with that choice. This was supposed to be a Catelyn Stark at the Red Wedding moment, but instead more people are talking about Alicole or the dog being kicked than a child being murdered. Phia’s performance was great though.

All of the actors are phenomenal, and I was super excited to see everyone again. We are so fucking back! (This was way longer than I thought it would be. Anon I’m sorry if you didn’t intend for me to write so much! Haha)

Spoilers for part two (pretty minor imo):

Since Aly and Aegon will be separated for most of the war, there will be more Aegon POV chapters than part one.

I will be including a scene where the Greens find out about Luke’s death because there is so much potential there.

[ismellbitches]

licklaughlesbian ->->-> ismellbitches

Hey!! I thought I’d do one of these because I’ve seen a lot of other people doing them, and Ive been a lot more active on my blog recently.

My name’s Remy (any pronouns except neos), I’m an artist and writer from Australia and I really love DnD.

The most normal about:

JRWI (specifically chip bastard, wiwi wisp, Timothy Rand, THANATOS 🫶🫶, Emizel Tucker, and the snail mail crew), The Magnus Archives/Protocol (specifically Jonathan Sims, Alice Dyer, Samama Khalid, Martin K. Blackwood, and the Horrors) , Epic: The Musical, Spiritfarer, My DnD Campaigns (ask me about my characters >:3), my dog :), MY MUTUALSSS 🫶🫶, The Amazing Devil, Hozier and indie animation

People I don’t want on my blog (DNIs):

Anyone who knows me irl (unless I’ve given you permission), swifties, proshippers, homophobes, transphobes, racists and xenophobes.

That’s really it, I’ll add more if I think of any, but tbh I don’t mind what you do as long as you keep NSFW stuff, discourse I have not invited, and anything I make clear I am uncomfortable with out of my blog

Stuff you’ll see:

Fanart and OC art (#my art)

Fandom Stuff (#JRWI show, #tmagp, #tma, #dungeons and dragons, #Epic: The Musical, #Spiritfarer and micellaneous)

Stuff that interests me (#the amazing devil, #hozier, #indie animation #lackadaisy, etc)

Im also starting a talk tag (#rat chats) as of now there probably won’t be anything there but I look forward to start rambling a bit more :D

Things to know:

I AM A MINOR

I AM A LESBIAN AND GNC

IF I MAKE A MISTAKE TELL ME PLEASE

TAG ME IN THINGS, ALL THE THINGS

I LIKE HAVING AND MUTUALS AND I WILL CHAT TO YOU IF YOU WANT IM JUST ANXIOUS

TALK TO ME ABOUT YOUR INTERESTS! YES YOU, READING THIS, EVEN IF I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT JUST YAP TO ME IN MY ASKS OR DMS

ask me about my art please please please ple

Welp that’s everything. See you around :D

•-•-•-•

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

That's Jimin×Taeyang Collab rumor got both fandoms crying lmao

I hope it's true tho... he was someone jimin had looked upto and I would love to see both main dancers to a choreo song !!

And considering jimin was the only member invited to Bigbang docu screening back in time he must be close with T and the rest

Also saw this and I hope its true🤞

https://twitter.com/itboypop/status/1601041173979615232?t=7w5eY-_OlY0EEGaT_eYbGQ&s=19

Anon 2

Really don’t know how to feel about it. This group makes my skin crawl. You can’t tell me the others didn’t know what Seungri was doing. I know Jimin is a fan and seemed in good relationship with these men. I always side eyed him because of it, but because he stopped interacting publicly at least with them I thought he is no longer associates himself with them. Just to see this.

Alright, this needs to be unpacked.

As far as I know, only Seungri was convicted for what he did, so why would the people that are associated with him, including coworkers such as Taeyang, be judged? Especially since he hasn't done anything of the sort? Because if we are to apply this logic, then we should judge a lot more people which once again, puts us in the position of the moral inquisition, as if we're all morally superior. Which I guess it's easy when we do this in internet discourse. This is not on the same scale and situation, but as much as I personally side-eye Bogum and his religious extremism, I don't actually believe that in association, Tae is exactly like that. Or if he is, those views did not rise to the surface. But ultimately, regardless of who they are, what they do, I can't stop you or make you change your mind because it's your choice and right to do so, but I'm perfectly aware how these stances came to be in online spaces. So I don't agree with it, but I get it. Also, no one sent me any similar complaints when Taeyang was at Hobi's listening party and how him and RM took a photo together. Or how Hobi clearly hangs out with groups that G-Dragon is part of. Was the moral police on vacation back then? Lastly, just because someone is not seen in public with another person, doesn't mean they can't have any sort of relationship. It could be simply professional.

My advice to anyone who hates or dislikes artists because somehow they wronged BTS in Army's views, to prepare themselves to either adapt, or stop with the imaginary conflicts. Because it's ridiculous and pathetic to bring out something that happened in 2015-2016, when in present day, BTS has no fucking issue. Army fighting with VIP and vice versa is dumb fandom drama, but hating group members and calling them irrelevant, fossils, bad singers, etc., while Jimin and Taeyang clearly want to work together if this rumor has any truth to it. So, what the actual fuck?

And now to answer the first anon, I am excited. Seeing the fandoms crying is annoying, but also satisfying because clearly they have no say in this, but they keep acting stupid. Let them cry, I really hope the collab is real and is happening. I was so tired of the Chris Martins and the Charlie Puths, that this one might be a breath of fresh air. Similar to what Yoongi did with Psy, which was clearly a successful collab. We know Jimin was a fan of Taeyang since his rookie days and for those who say that Taeyang needs Jimin to be relevant and to get some attention, is clearly an army that doesn't know their kpop history because for them kpop is only BTS.

And in doing that, they fail to understand how huge this thing is. And if they could leave their hate aside, they would see that Taeyang and Jimin can be such a good match vocally. They have the range and it could result in something really good. Either a ballad, or a song for fucking. I hope it's the latter, but I'll take anything, lol. And if they do only one live performance, I'll be happy. I really want to see them both on a stage, with or without a choreo. Rookie Jimin could only dream of this. And now it's (possibly) happening.

And if all this is nothing but a rumor, at least we get to entertain the idea for a few days.

[outofangband]

Tagged by the wonderful, talented @welcomingdisaster

Rules: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! Then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

sigh...it is shameful how many are still here from the last time I did this over a year ago. 

note: many of these contain pretty upsetting stuff. I know that’s not exactly surprising on my blog but I just thought I’d warn! 

under cut just for length! this does not include the many WIPs I have only in my Tumblr drafts 

I wasn’t sure who had been tagged but I’ll tag and feel free to ignore!

@melestasflight @thelordofgifs @pearlescentpearl @veliseraptor @polutrope 

and anyone else who wants to do this! I promise if I didn’t tag you it’s not because I don’t like you, I just tagged some of the most recent people in my notifs  or my dash because I wasn’t sure how to choose 

-Cut Your Hand As Willingly

-present!Maitimo au 

-Set in Slow Torment

-It Crept In 

-with slander for a blade 

-The Gold Dragon

-Morwen and Aerin rosemary discourse 

-Sanctuary

-to Melko’s Power and Pleasure* *THIS IS HOW TOLKIEN WORDED IT don’t judge me

-Brodda’s very normal reasonable reaction to seeing Morwen extended edition 

-assorted BoLT scenes and verses 

-on the shores of Esgalduin

-within these white walls 

-Such cruel devices and similar

-splinters like jewel shards

-winged edain winged edain!!

-Morwen and Sador argue in a prison cell unnamed verse scene 

-they married in the high summer 

-invitations 

[prettyboykatsuki]

@ your last reblog My friends LOVE Genshin but I don't want to play it anymore after the Sumeru region whitewashing bullshit :/. If that's how Mihoyo is going to design Middle Eastern and South Asian people then I pray they NEVER touch African countries like....ever. I'd rather not be represented in the game at all than be represented as an "idealized" version of what racists want dark skinned people to look like. It makes me sad because I wanted to like the game but now I don't want to touch it ever again.

dkjsfkjds i have a lot of thoughts on this but i dont want to invite discourse to my acc rn im simply not in the headspace. so for anyone seeing this pls do not send anymore to me about it

but i will say as a south asian person it was very gut wrenching to see the utter disregard for our cultures and also southeast and west asian cultures represented in the game. i don't want to police if people play the game or not as long as they're critical of it (im like this with a lot of the stuff i consume so i uphold other ppl to the same thing lol) like as long as people understand what makes it an issue.

but i definitely understand where your coming from and took a break from it because idk logging in just felt a bit demoralizing especially because i really enjoy the game so much and did so before sumerus release. i even waited to criticize until i played it myself but my disappointment is IMMEASURABLE at how they handled it. especially when you can tell they at least attempted to craft the inazuma and monstadt experience respectfully.

like sumeru is so obviously pulled from sumer, which is an ancient civilization in the fertile crescent and spans many places in the SWANA region. if they focused on that, it would've been a nonissue. it HAS an extremely deep and rich history that could've easily been pulled from and obviously WAS pulled from to some extent with some of the different aspects.

i just. cannot express how deeply disappointing it was. i like the game and i would love if they somehow corrected this by at least separating into regions or SOMETHING since there's more to come but it really is. very frustrating to say the least