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#this is of course about the gay pirates
phoet · 1 year
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i'd sell my left big toe to be able to watch the juno steel story as an animated show but specifically in the style of cowboy bebop
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hauntingblue · 5 months
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BACK TO ONE PIECE LETSGOOOOO
#nami put luffy in a cage.... dont let sanji see that.... again nami demonstrating how she is the strongest ever.....#why is franky the boat akshaksjskqjqk ROBIN NEARLY 1000 MILLION YEAAAAAHHHHH#sanji exploded </3 rip the smoking got to him..... luffys snapshot in the cage beaten up akdhsksjsk#jinbes theme is a banger.... buggy lmaoo chacho means president??? that is so funny... CHACHOOOO!!! also buggy owning croc money... banger#these two divas sitting cross legged on the couch bullying buggy.... ajhdkajsa buggys bounty akdhsksjsks#this whole episode was so funny lmao buggy....#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1086#luffy wanted yamato to join the crew omg....... i mean of course but he was maaaad.... i kew yamato was a nakama for sure#marco telling luffy ace would be proud of him and smiling.... didnt that happen before and he got sad??? development#SERAPHIM?? THE NEW PACIFISTAS?? why tf does she look like hancock??? OMG MARGARET!!! FUCKING BLACKBEARD??? IN AMAZON LILY???#baby angel mihawk too??? what is this.... KILL BLACKBEARD YES!!!! THROW HIM INTO THE SEA!!! LET THE SEA RECLAIM HIM!!!#so pretty sure what garp was talking about were the seraphim pacifistas..... just keep making things worse old man sure#koby is gay confirmed see.... helmeppo got got... the downsides of being bisexual...#BLACKBEARD GOT HER!!! GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF HER!!!!#episode 1087#hancock lying on rayleighs legs omg... those are her parents ALSO SHAKKY EX KUJA CAPTAIN AND EX EX EMPERESS??? RAYLEIGH?????#why does amazon lily have a giant portrait of luffy on the palace facade akdhaksjaka i mean i DO know why.....#who tf is wang zhi and what did koby do.... and blackbeard is NASTY!!!! RAYLEIGH GET HIM!!! this reminds me of shanks in marineford... a lo#koby kidnapped by blackbeard?? omg kuma....... he is alright.... why the cherry blossom petals in between them ajdjsksjwk#see how sabo is alive.... but why does koala have blue eyes and orange hair now.... luffy having a crisis#i was thinking is carobou om that fucking barrel and YES why us brook crying akdhsk what do you know#zoro using luffy's words against him.... but i dont think ace is a good example of this.... zoro and sanji fighting about who is on top....#luffy asking robin for news.... BUT ROBIN I WANT TO KNOW!!!! omg this ending???? WHAT DID LUFFY SAY???? that was beautiful.............#he said he wants to give everyone freedom i know it... and he needs to be pirate king for that.... he knew since he was a child.....#omg....... the one piece is freedom for everyone and for some reason roger couldnt do it he wanted his son to do it.....#back on my theories grind....#episode 1088#LUFFY!!!! THE MAN THAT YOU ARE!!!!
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ofmd-alsaurus · 11 months
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jooniez · 10 months
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okay if anyone is looking for a new show to watch I highly highly highly recommend Black Sails it’s so phenomenal in the writing, acting, storytelling, plot lines, everything!! just so insanely good I can’t recommend it enough!!!
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karmaphone · 1 year
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anyways witchblade (2000) revival when
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teplejtrouba · 2 years
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I posted 6,865 times in 2022
That's 5,379 more posts than 2021!
95 posts created (1%)
6,770 posts reblogged (99%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@definitely-not-lordenglish
@wafflesthedragonslayer
@violetstar250
@fukever
@patronsaintofdemons
I tagged 1,826 of my posts in 2022
#ofmd - 484 posts
#st - 434 posts
#česky - 290 posts
#eddie munson - 227 posts
#obrození - 173 posts
#steve harrington - 135 posts
#steddie - 122 posts
#čumblr - 113 posts
#stranger things spoilers - 44 posts
#mcr - 44 posts
Longest Tag: 139 characters
#vím jak je těžké necítít k češtině tak trochu odpor. ale nalézt se v ní není nemožné a všichni kdo bouráte nové cesty. jste skvělí. úžasní.
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
můj kostým na školní stužkovací večírek, tématem bylo písmeno K. nemohlo jsem jinak nežli obrozovat. byl mnohokrát chválen (drahý učitel pro něj vymyslel nové slovo 'uchvancancující', ať už znamená cokoliv), minimálně tři lidé na mne začli pět 'asi do věží', byl druhý v soutěži o nej kostým večera. řekl bych, že úspěch a mé nejvlivnější životní veledílo.
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242 notes - Posted November 25, 2022
#4
potřebujeme něco jako our flag means death ale o loupežnících
273 notes - Posted March 30, 2022
#3
AU where Eddie survived but had to get out of Hawkins for obvious reasons so he starts living with Murray and they have a very entertaining love-hate relationship
in this scenario Alexei survived too and him and Murray are Roommates 👀 so mlm solidarity all around. Eddie doesn't know a word in Russian but somehow gets along with Alexei more than with Murray most of the time. They watch cartoons and later movies together. Eddie and Murray like each other because he's a queer anti-establishment nonconformist "freak" so they have a lot of similar worldviews but Murray also doesn't really like hanging around teens (or young adults) and won't stand Eddie blasting metal music in the bunker because he wants to listen to his smooth jazz. I think they'd get really close pretty quickly but would kinda throw out their frustrations of life at each other because they're both A Lot, very eccentric men with very specific ways of living, so they would just annoy each other on purpose. Maybe Eddie gets Murray into smoking weed
+ an obligatory scene where Murray tells Eddie it's obvious he has a thing for Steve
352 notes - Posted July 5, 2022
#2
"čtu fanfikce o teplých pirátech"
co doufáš, že tím myslí:
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526 notes - Posted April 8, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
myslím, že bychom měli více oceňovat český dabing gončarova (původní z roku 74, samozřejmě, pro klid našich duší budeme předstírat, že ten z roku 2013 neexistuje). originál je originál, ale na filipovského s ruským přízvukem křičícího italská rčení nikdy nezapomenu. to že párkrát přeložili 'it's gonchin' time' jako 'zgončím tě/zgončím tvůj život' a ta náhodná reference na žižku je druhý nejlepší dabingový počin hned po 'tohle křoví vypadá jako halina pawlowská'. miluju
559 notes - Posted November 22, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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giantkillerjack · 1 year
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"The Professor's Workshop"
An excerpt from my graphic novel script drafts, posted here without beta bc it motivates me to write. In this chapter, the protagonists David and Kuruk are being given a tour of Armadillo Island by its mayor.
"Just wait til you meet them!" RJ exclaims excitedly. "They're the mind of a generation - maybe two!" He now adds an additional spring to his step, and David has to jog to keep up with him, despite them both being very short men. Kuruk follows behind, looking deeply skeptical.
RJ leads them down a winding forested path to a more remote part of the village, continuing to talk about the island the whole time while occasionally asking friendly questions of his guests.
They arrive at a secluded building tucked away in the bright green foliage of the island. The building is made in the same unique colorful architectural style as the rest of the island, but it has an odd overall shape - as though it has seen many small additions and renovations over the years. Paint chips in a couple places, but otherwise it looks well-cared-for. Shiny metal vents and chimneys emerge from the roof and sides, gently emitting white smoke. A stone pathway leads from the sign to the door, nearly hidden in untamed tall grass.
Out front, a high-quality colorful carved wooden sign reads:
Doctor Professor Xosha Zapata, PhD
Chemist & Architect Extraordinaire
"The sign was a gift from me," RJ chirps, stopping for a moment to admire it.
"No kidding," David deadpans politely, obviously hiding a smile.
(Behind him, the side of Kuruk's mouth twitches upwards a little for just a moment.)
RJ is marches up the overgrown stone and knocks confidently on the door, which turns out to not be fully closed; it creaks open from his knocking.
RJ stands just outside of the doorway and shouts inside cheerfully, causing Kuruk to wince at the volume. "OH, PROFESSOR!!! Are you in, Professor? I've met the most lovely chaps and I'd love to introduce them to our island's premiere scientific mind!"
There is a distant muffled sound from within.
"... PROFESSOR?" RJ shouts again, looking slightly concerned, "ARE YOU ALRIGHT?"
An indistinct wobbly speech bubble comes from inside, ending in question marks.
RJ looks both worried and like a man on a mission. "WE'RE COMING IN TO CHECK ON YOU - ALRIGHT, PROFESSOR?" He shouts loud enough this time that David and Kuruk both wince.
RJ hustles in and our heroes follow hesitantly behind.
The small entryway opens into a large room with high ceiling. It appears to be a lab or a workshop of some kind. Skylight windows light the room with soft sunlight, and dust motes float in the air in the brightest of the rays of light.
In terms of the contents of the room, the place looks like if a cartoon professor somehow had even more ADHD than usual:
There are dozens of beakers and vials on a number of desks and tables. A few of the beakers sit on lit bunsen burners, bubbling with colorful substances and sending white smoke up into the vents above them. At least one beaker has bubbled over and created an unidentifiable burnt mass at its base.
There are multiple architectural drafting tables with designs and blueprints on them in various states of completion.
There are several chalkboards full of notes in messy handwriting.
Books, papers, notebooks cover nearly every flat surface and several of the non-flat ones. Many torn notebook pages have been taped to the walls. [I guess this fantasy world has an equivalent to scotch tape now. ... I'm fine with that.]
The only decorations are a cluster of very nice painting on a small section of the wall. (Readers looking very closely will notice they all have the same artist's signature - Epa, who runs the inn.)
There is nothing to suggest nefarious scientific activity. Real "absentminded professor" energy.
In the far corner of the room, a set of scaffolding and a ladder block off a small space.
"H-hello? RJ, is that you?" says a small speech bubble from behind the scaffolding.
"Aha!" RJ leaps in that direction impressively quickly for a tiny man in his 50s.
Before David and Kuruk catch up to him, they hear RJ's relieved and once again cheerful voice:
"Ah, professor! There you are, thank goodness!!! You had us worried for a moment there!"
"...'Us' ?" says the unknown person in a pinched voice.
David and Kuruk round the corner to see three things:
One: an incomplete 8-foot-tall architectural model of a building,
Two: a fallen ladder, and
Three: a very embarrassed-looking non-binary person whom they recognize as the amateur vigilante they last saw getting shoved into the town square fountain by Armadillo Woman. Ze is wearing overalls, safety goggles pushed up on zyr head, a white shirt with some almost neon-colored stains on it, and a safety harness.
Ze appears unharmed, but they are suspended in the air by a cord attached to the back of the harness, and they look exceedingly uncomfortable. Zyr feet are dangling high off the ground, and ze is slowly and involuntarily rotating in place.
"Oh." Ze says weakly at the sound of additional footsteps. "There's... more people to witness this. ...My lucky day." They look as though they'd rather melt away into the earth. As they speak, they continue to spin, and they miss their initial chance to look at David and Kuruk, not seeing their faces until spinning slowly back around.
RJ, however, continues with his introductions, gesturing grandly and earnestly. "Mister David, Mister Kuruk - please meet the esteemed Doctor-Professor Xosha Zapata! Professor, these are my new friends Kuruk and David! They're here for the festival!"
Behind RJ, Kuruk squints at being called RJ's "new friend." David just looks amused.
"Y-You can just call me Xosha actually I'm not really--"
Xosha stops as ze finally catches sight of David and Kuruk - zyr face somehow falls even further. "Ah. We've, uh, met, actually," they say with a pained smile.
RJ is delighted. "Really?!? Fantastic! You must tell me all about it! How you met, what everyone was wearing! Every detail!"
"Um, actually, do you think maybe somebody could get me down first, please?" Xosha says in a small voice.
RJ looks surprised to find Xosha still in the air; he presses his hand to his forehead. "Oh! Oh my! Of course of course - my apologies! - I just get so carried away! Gentlemen, would you assist me?"
David and Kuruk nod. Kuruk looks like he's questioning how his life has come to this.
"Tell us what to do, Professor!" RJ says with his hands on his hips.
What follows is a ridiculous comical sequence in which Xosha explains how this happened and the men help zyr get down.
Ze was standing on a tall ladder and working on the architectural model. The safety harness they're wearing supports their torso and pelvis, and it connects to a rope from a clever pulley system on the ceiling. The early light of dawn indicates that this was probably a few hours ago.
They lean too far to reach for something and lose their balance, kicking the ladder out from under them while simultaneously knocking the pulley controls out of their reach.
Their legs kick in the air as they tried to release themselves from the harness, but in their struggles they manage only to somehow tangle the straps of their overalls and cause a lot of discomfort.
The final flashback panel is a distant wide shot of the whole workshop with the lonely defeated figure of Xosha hanging comically from the harness in the background.
Per Xosha's direction, RJ and David find the pulley controls and begin to lower zyr down in stops and starts. The pulley system is not cooperating with them, and Xosha yelps in a mix of alarm and discomfort with each small drop. It looks very painful, and David winces in sympathy. RJ looks similarly apologetic.
After the first small drop, Kuruk moves quickly to stand under Xosha.
"I will catch you," he says, looking entirely unsure of himself, but ready nonetheless.
"Thank-- you," Xosha squeaks, "It's-- YAAHH--!!!"
They let out a final yelp as they drop the last few feet. Kuruk catches them from behind [either under the arms or by the harness] and slows their fall so they land safely on their feet. Kuruk continues to support them for a few seconds until they seem steady.
As soon as Kuruk lets go, however, Xosha whimpers and lowers zyrself to the ground in a comically pained ball. Evidently, hanging from a pelvis harness hurts one's crotch and hips like a motherfucker, and Xosha is too exhausted to pretend otherwise. They are still clearly embarrassed, but they seem to have accepted their humiliating fate.
RJ hurries over to help them take the harness off, crouching on the ground next to them and patting their shoulder consolingly. He asks them what happened, and he asks if they need help taking the harness off. Xosha accepts his help and explains, accompanied by 3-5 cartoony flashback panels:
In the flashback, ze is standing on a tall ladder and working on the architectural model. The safety harness they're wearing supports their torso and pelvis, and it connects to a rope from a clever pulley system on the ceiling that can be manually adjusted by the user. The early light of dawn indicates that this was probably a few hours ago.
Xosha leans too far to reach for something and loses their balance, kicking the ladder out from under them while simultaneously knocking the pulley controls out of their reach.
They are caught by the harness and the expression of pain on their face is ridiculous and exaggerated for humor.
Their legs kick in the air as they tried to release themselves from the harness, but in their struggles they manage only to somehow tangle the straps of their overalls and cause more discomfort.
The final flashback panel is a distant wide shot of the whole workshop - with the lonely defeated figure of Xosha gently swaying in the background.
In the present, Xosha buries their head in their hands and lets out a loud long groan; they lament how stupid their mistake was, and RJ reassures them that even geniuses make mistakes! Xosha insists that ze is not a genius. RJ declares that they are too modest. It is clear that this is not the first time they have had this conversation.
David takes in the absurdity of it all and he smiles at Kuruk across the room. Kuruk doesn't smile back, but he does meet David's gaze and there is a hint of a twinkle in his eye amongst his general bewilderment.
Finally, Xosha manages to get the harness off and sit in a chair, letting out a long sigh.
On the final page of the chapter, a large panel shows Xosha in a detailed, fully-rendered (shaded, inked, colored, etc.) shot with warm natural lighting. Ze looks up from their chair with an attempt at a smile that lands a little closer to a wince. The shot is framed to make them appear endearing in their awkwardness. They are both cute and anxious.
"So, uhh, I'm guessing you have some questions about yesterday?" ze says.
Below that panel, a banner with large font reads:
Tune in next time for Part 3, Chapter 7:
"The Professor."
[End.]
If you liked this and want to read the published scripts with concept art on AO3, you can do that! I get a comment on those like once every 3 months and every time it gives me serotonin for like 3 weeks tbh. If you don't mind an unusual reading format, then you can find sexy men tied up and rescued, gay sky pirates, budding friendships, autistic/ADHD friendship, so many Trans people, sexy fat characters, empowering disability representation, a group of actors who would fit right in with The Ember Island Players, a haunted mop, a magical trauma recovery library, a lesbian biker gang that robs imperialistic museums - AND SO MUCH MORE
Note to self: I think maybe I'll change Xosha's pronouns to they/them and zey/zem, instead of they/them and ze/zyr. Seems to fit better.
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basementloser · 5 months
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I would've loved an episode in which Danny and Dash switch bodies.
I imagine it happens because Dash is talking to Kwan about how cool Phantom is or something, and at some point he says "Man, I wish I was Danny Phantom!"
Of course Desiree hears this, she appears before him ("So you have wished it, so shall it be!"), and the next day Dash wakes up in Danny's body. Danny Fenton's body. In Danny's room.
At this point he's pretty familiar with Desiree, and he assumes she just heard him wrong, befause Fenton and Phantom do sound alike. ("Huh, how weird! How has no one noticed this before?" We hear Wes screaming in the distance as Dash makes this observation.)
But there is no way in hell that a puny little nerd like Fenton could be Dash's hero, so something must've gone wrong. He decides to find Desiree and correct his wish.
-
Meanwhile, Danny (to his horror) wakes up in Dash's body.
He assumes he overshadowed him for some reason, but when he tries to leave, he finds out he doesn't have his powers. He also doesn't feel Dash's presence in the body.
"I know i asked for a growth spurt, but not like this!"
This isn't good.
-
Dash makes his way downstairs, and is immediately greeted by Jack Fenton, who has a million chores for him.
"Come on, Danno! Those ghosts I fished out of the ghost zone with the Fenton Ghost Fisher™️ aren't gonna put themselves back!"
Before he can object he is pushed into the lab and has to fight a couple of ectopusses. This goes very badly at first, until Dash remembers the bit of ghost hunting training Danny gave him and his classmates, when they had to rescue their parents from that big pirate ship.
As soon as he's done, exhausted on the floor (Damn, Fenton really needs to work out more!), he hears Jack yelling down the stairs.
"Son, don't forget to change the ecto filtrator! You don't want Amity Park to blow up, do ya?"
More dangerous chores keep getting added for longer than Dash thought was humanly possible.
(At some point Jack gave him some fudge, which helped.)
How does Fenton live like this???
-
We switch back over to Danny, who is now looking around Dash's room. He already knew about the cute pink teddy bear collection, but he didn't expect to find what can only be described as a fan shrine to Phantom.
There are newspaper articles, pictures, merch ("Wait I have merch? How come i didn't know that? Who is selling Phantom merch?" it's Tucker), and a poster.
(the b-story of this episode is Sam & Tucker running a Phantom merch line, and trying to stop the Box Ghost from stealing all the boxes of merch.)
Danny keeps looking around Dash's room, and finding out more about him through his stuff.
At some point he finds Dash's diary. He contemplates if he should read it or not, but in the end he decides that since Dash is always such a jerk to him, he doesn't care about morals and reads it.
Reading the diary, Danny starts to feel kinda bad, because in the entries Dash actually seems human. He's insecure, and he actually struggles with a lot. He's afraid to talk about what he's going through.
His parents are very absent, and the A-listers kicked Valerie out when her life wasn't perfect anymore. He doesn't want that to happen to him.
(I personally headcanon Dash as an extremely closeted gay guy with a lot of internalised homophobia, who hasn't stopped trying to convince himself that he's straight, but his struggles could be about anything.)
After reading all that, Danny starts to feel kinda bad for him.
-
Over the course of the day ghosts keep showing up to fight or talk to Fenton, and Dash is incredibly confused by this. Also Danny must have a weird cold or something, because he's been exhaling cold air at random all day.
"I AM THE BOX GHO- Hey! Wait! Why are you running away? You never run away. You always trap me in your cylindrical contraption of doOoOoOm!" (The Box Ghost is wearing a Phantom t-shirt, and is holding a box full of other Phantom merch. After Dash runs away, Sam and Tucker appear, chasing the Box Ghost through the street, trying to get the merch back.)
Later Johnny 13 shows up to fight, because he and Kitty broke up for the 4th time this week, and he wants to let out some steam. "Shouldn't you change for our fight, kid?" Change into what? Wait he wanted to fight, right? Dash puts on his gym uniform, and boxing gloves. Johnny looks at him weird, but doesn't question it. They have a little boxing match in the backyard.
Youngblood came by to play astronauts with him, and was very disappointed that Danny didn't fly up to space with him. (Wait didn't that dead kid kidnap Dash's parents??! Also why in the hell does he think Fenton has the ability to fly?????!! And breathe(!) in space?!!!)
After finishing what seems like a billion ghost related chores (and dealing with way too many ghosts), Dash finally manages to get out of the Fenton house, and starts to look for Desiree.
-
Danny walks out of Dash's room, and runs into Dash's dad. He opens his mouth, but he doesn't seem to care about what he's going to say. "Son I am so incredibly disappointed in you." the dad starts, then continues to list all the reasons he is a huge disappointment who should try harder. "Those weird little bears in your closet!" and "Why don't you have a girlfriend yet?"
The whole interaction is horrible, and makes Danny appreciate his own parents (weird as they may be) so much.
Dash's mom also berates him about being a disappointment, because they found his Phantom collection ("He is a GHOST, Dash! He's dangerous!"), and because his grades are so low. ("What do you mean tutor? Just study harder!")
They threaten to take Pookie away if he doesn't get his shit together.
-
At some point Danny has deduced that this body situation must be some ghost bullshit, and he decides to go to Fentonworks.
Then he runs into Dash in his body, and they have a little spiderman moment
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After the internal shock and "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY BODY GET OUT!"s have gone around, Dash tells Danny what happened.
Danny informs Dash that most of Desiree's wishes become permanent after 24 hours. They decide to team up to get Desiree to undo this wish before that happens.
It's noted that Dash didn't say the word "puny" or any other insult, when he says "I really don't wanna stay in your body.".
We see a compilation of Danny and Dash searching Amity Park for Desiree, and other wishes she has granted. They fight off a couple of small ghost things together.
(during this compilation we see Sam and Tucker chasing the Box Ghost around. "How is he this hard to catch?? We've done this millions of times already!!!" -"Well maybe if you didn't drop the fucking thermos!")
After the fight, Dash sighs and says "Man, I had no idea how difficult your life is, Fenton. I've only been living it a day and it sucks."
they have a little heart to heart, and Dash sincerely apologises for bullying Danny so much.
"why did you want to be Phantom anyway? I assume his life isn't that easy either." Danny says.
"I dunno, man. I just thought it would be cool to be, y'know, going ghost."
White rings appear around Dash. He turns into Phantom.
they have another moment like this:
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"WHAT THE FUCK!"
"WHAT THE FUCK!"
"I"M- I- YOU- YOU'RE PHANTOM??!!!"
"NO! YES! NO TIME! FIGHT HER!!!"
Because of course, this is the moment that Desiree appears, and starts fighting them.
"I dont know how!!!"
The beginning of the fight is very awkward, with Dash not knowing how Danny's powers work, and Danny not being used to fighting Desiree without his powers.
Eventually they get the hang of it, with Danny telling Dash how to activate and use certain powers in the moment, and they defeat Desiree.
All the wishes get undone, and they suck her up into a thermos.
After that, they talk about Danny being Phantom. Danny tells Dash the story of how he died got his powers, and Dash shares some of his secrets with Danny so they're "even". (it's some stuff that wasn't in Dash's diary. Danny doesn't mention that he read that, but that can be conflict in a later episode)
They aren't friends yet, but it's a start. Now that he walked a mile in Danny's shoes, Dash feels so bad about bullying him all those years, and he starts to question his life choices. (start of a Dash redemption arc i guess). He promises to stop bullying in general, and help out Danny however he can. (He also promises to not tell anyone about Danny's secret identity.)
(The episode ends with Sam and Tucker, having finally caught the Box Ghost, only to realise that in the chase/fight all the merch got way too messed up to sell, so it was all for nothing. Tucker throws the thermos down in frustration, the Box Ghost gets free, grabs the Phantom shirt he wore earlier, yells "BEWARE!" and flies off. Sam sighs and gets ready to start chasing him again, but Tucker stops her. "I give up. Let him have the fucking shirt.")
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ah yes, Galavant, the musical comedy fantasy show with bangers such as
"Local King Realises He Has Zero Useful Skills"
"Gay Bar Anthem About Undressing An Oblivious Straight Guy"
"The Ruling Class Sucks, How About We Poison All Of Them"
"The Most Scathing Critique Of Representative Democracy You Will Ever Come Across"
"Yelling About How You're Going To Very Sneakily Kill Your Brother"
"Pirate Shanty: Run Aground Edition"
"Disney Princess Love Interest Duet Except The Lyrics Are About How You Barely Tolerate Each Other" (twice)
and of course
"A New Season AKA Suck It Cancellation Bear" which is the actual real title of that song and cannot be improved upon through humorous description
also have I mentioned that all of these are composed by actual real Disney composer Alan Menken, of Little Shop of Horrors, Tangled, and basically the entire Disney Renaissance fame, and wow do they sound like it
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scarrletmoon · 1 year
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okay i know the Discourse™️ has been going on for way too long at this point, but
i think some people outside of the OFMD fandom don’t actually get why we’re particularly annoying about this show
OFMD is not the first queer show to ever exist. if anything, it's a late entry in decades of queer media. over a year and a half since the first few episodes aired, everyone knows that OFMD is queer. that doesn't make it particularly special
but back in March? this is the trailer that dropped in February of 2022, 2 weeks before the premier. if you're used to seeing queer chemistry in shows that aren't intended to be queer, you might see the hints between Ed and Stede here. but to most people? it's just a silly little pirate comedy. just guys being dudes. the trailer doesn't even hint at the other 2 canonical queer relationships in the show -- the closest it gets suggesting romance is the music and the pink in the poster
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so when people watched this show in March 2022, they went into it expecting subtext and nothing else. to them, it was like watching Sherlock or Supernatural or Merlin in the 2010s. if you were in any of those fandoms -- especially Sherlock and Supernatural -- you know what it was like; constant jokes at our expense, being mocked for creating explicit fanwork, made fun of by the creators and within the show itself. if we saw queer subtext, that was our problem. this was a time when you pretended NOT to be in fandom, for fear of ridicule. we kept our fanwork to ourselves, we DID NOT share it with the cast, and we accepted that our favourite ships would probably never be canon. maybe one day, if we were lucky, we'd have a show where the subtext wasn't mockery as much as deliberate foreshadowing -- but that had to be YEARS away
right?
OFMD was never billed as a queer show, not in the beginning. there was no LGBTQ+ tag on (HBO) Max, it wasn't on anyone's list of upcoming queer shows in 2022, it flew under the radar through most of its first season. this was a show about pirates, and sure, some of them were queer. but not the LEADS. if you think they're romantically involved, that's must be fandom brain poisoning
except the 9th episode aired, and they kissed. and the show said "you're not crazy for thinking they have chemistry because they really do. it's been a romance this whole time". and in the 10th episode, Stede realizes that he's in love
(not mandating you watch this clip if you don't care for the show, but there's something that feels particularly earth shattering about no one saying the word gay but knowing that Stede's realizing he is, that it's completely unambiguous and explicit in a way that only straight romances are usually allowed to be)
this is why people freaked out about this show. no one knew. even the creator, David Jenkins, was surprised when WE were surprised that it was gay for real -- he set out to write a love story, using all the tried and true beats of a rom com. he'd never even heard of the term queerbaiting. he looked at historical Blackbeard and Stede Bonnet and thought "oh, there's something here" and just...wrote that, with very little fanfare, like it was inevitable. like it was obvious. of course Jim and Pam end up together. of course Buttercup and Westley end up together. what kind of disappointing ending would it be if You've Got Mail ended with the main characters just going their separate ways?
so of course Ed and Stede are in love
look, i get it. we're annoying and won't shut the fuck up about this show that seems mediocre at best. i watched the whole thing back in march, thought "huh, that was cool" and was sure that i'd forget about it in a few days
an hour after looking at fanart on twitter, i was lost in the fucking sauce
there's just so much to unpack from a mere 10 episodes. it covers racism, toxic masculinity, gender expression, sexuality, trauma and abuse. and i don't think we should overlook the fact that the non-white characters in this show get to be fully human in a way i haven't seen in my favourite shows in recent memory
additionally, most OFMD are 25 or older. we're not people who've been spoiled by queer rep, who don't get how hard it used to be, how you'd have to grovel for scraps, how shipping and fanfiction was a way to find queer rep where we thought there never would be. we've been here. we're annoying about this show because for a lot of us, it's the first time we've been treated like our queerness isn't an anomaly that needs to be relegated to its own section, that needs to be praised for the bare minimum of acknowledging that we exist. it's not pulling punches to avoid scaring away a straight audience. it just is.
OFMD for me is like when i watched Black Panther for the first time and realized that this is what white people felt all the time. have there been other black superhero movies? of course! does Disney fucking suck? BOY does it. but that was the first time i got to sit in a movie theater and watch a mainstream film that looked at Africa and said "look at how beautiful you are, exactly as you are"
and idk. i think that's really cool
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queerly-autistic · 8 months
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I've been thinking about potential pick-up of Our Flag Means Death by another streamer, and how it all might be tying in with the current BBC release, and I have some thoughts about what might be happening and what we can do to give the show the best chance of being picked up.
I think it's important to start by saying that all the whisperings that I heard over the past few months (including from some people who work at/with the BBC) pointed firmly towards a scheduled March release for Our Flag Means Death on the BBC. Needless to say, this means I was extremely surprised when they suddenly announced it was dropping at the beginning of February. I think it's also clear from everything I've seen that the BBC's marketing/social media plan for the release was not ready for February (there was no trailer, which was odd), which, again, really supports the idea that the show was initially schedule for a March release, not a February release.
I firmly believe the release was brought forward. The question is: why? Is it because they saw how much noise and press the show (and our campaign) was getting, and decided to try and capitalise on it? Or is there something else going on?
On top of that, we now have specific questions about Our Flag Means Death appearing on YouGov UK, including asking whether respondents would watch another series. This doesn't just happen. The charity I work for has commissioned YouGov polling (including some very recently) which I have been tangentially involved with, and so I know that this sort of polling is not easy work, and it's not cheap. Someone has put time AND money into commissioning this polling. This is significant. Someone is not only watching, but they are specifically watching the UK response to the show, and putting questions to the UK audience about it.
I have strong suspicions that a streamer (or several streamers) are interested in picking up the show, and are using the UK release as a live case study (Apple, Amazon and Netflix also have a presence in the UK, so we are a big target audience for them in a way we never were for Max). This could account for both the potential bringing forward of the BBC release (they didn't want to wait until March), and the YouGov polling that's going on (bear in mind, the YouGov questions were specifically as part of a wider survey about streaming services).
And this isn't just a passing interest: working with the BBC to bring forward the release, and investing time and money into YouGov polling? That's a strong interest. That's so interested they've already invested something into it.
Of course, I don't know anything for certain, so take everything with a pinch of salt (it's just a theory...a gay pirates theory...), but I think it's something to consider as a strong possibility.
So what does this mean for us?
It means we need to keep streaming on iPlayer. Watch it as many times as you can. Share it with your friends and family. If you're outside the UK, get yourself a VPN and join the party. Watch the live broadcasts on Monday nights (if you have iPlayer, you can stream the live broadcast - this is what I do because I don't have a TV). Keep tweeting about it (add the #OurFlagBBC hashtag to the existing hashtags we're using). Tag and email the UK media (including TV guides and radio shows) and ask them to talk about the show/our campaign. If you're tagging/emailing Apple, Amazon or Netflix, make sure you mention you're from the UK (and tag their UK specific social media accounts).
According to Parrot Analytics, the demand in the UK for the show is rising - let's keep adding to that!
You can also sign up to YouGov and rate the show (more instructions in the quote retweets of the tweet I linked to earlier), and keep answering questions about TV shows and streaming (and marking Our Flag Means Death as one of your interests) as a way to try and get them to give you the specific questions about the show (these start as a question about streaming and streaming services, which then turn into questions about OFMD, so if you get a survey like that, take it!).
It's also worth considering that if there's any validity to this, then there's a possibility that they might be waiting until after the show has finished airing in the UK (the finale is airing on 25th March) to crunch all the numbers together. This means that if we don't hear anything in the next few weeks, do not despair! We need to buckle in for a long fight, and to keep pushing the show and making noise over the next few weeks and months, especially around the BBC release.
This show is worth the fight. Let's get our damned men back!
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fandom · 2 years
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Top 22 of 2022
It’s the moment you’ve been waiting for, folks. Fifty-two weeks of cold hard data measuring original posts, likes, reblogs, and searches, weighted and ranked. And it all ultimately comes down to this: not only is Stranger Things the #1 topic on Tumblr over this last year of data, but fans posted so much about Eddie Munson and Steve Harrington that they also made the list of Top Things.
Meanwhile, season 2B of the beloved animated series The Owl House aired, along with the first episode of the final season, which turned out to be a rollercoaster of coming out joy and absolute heartbreak. Evergreen favorites Critical Role’s Bells Hells, a mix of familiar and new faces, have spent the year adventuring around Marquet. And we don’t talk about Bruno, no, no, no, but Encanto fans sure do. 
On the MCYT front, several new Minecraft SMP servers provided a ton of content for MCYT fans, treating them to new stories and character dynamics. This year was also marked by mourning as the community grieved the passing of one of their own—the popular streamer Technoblade. 
In other gaming news, Pokémon Legends: Arceus and Pokémon Scarlet and Violet have players catchin’ and battlin’ away. And over the past year, Deltarune players stocked up on bananas, while Genshin Impact players hoarded primogems to wish for their favorite banner characters. 
Back on the small screen, folks have had a lot of emotions about the very gay pirate show Our Flag Means Death and the (somewhat sapphic) League of Legends animated series Arcane. House of the Dragon took us back to Westeros and really leaned into “complicated family dynamics,” while “complicated shipping dynamics” was the theme for Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir. And between Battinson and Batman: Wayne Family Adventures, it was a big year for a character with some serious emotional issues.
Finally, aesthetic bloggers rejoice! Cottagecore and Dark Academia are both on here. Halloween was big, which makes sense because ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Of course, this list wouldn’t be complete without BTS—some things don’t change. And to round us out, please remember to like, reblog, and thank our resident Artists on Tumblr, who continue to nourish us and our dashboards with their incredible creations. This is Tumblr’s Year In Review.
Stranger Things
The Owl House
Artists on Tumblr
Critical Role
Encanto
MCYT
Pokémon
Eddie Munson | Stranger Things
Our Flag Means Death
Deltarune
The Dream SMP Minecraft Server
Cottagecore
Star Wars
Arcane
Genshin Impact
House of the Dragon
Dark Academia
Batman | The DC Universe
Steve Harrington | Stranger Things
Halloween
BTS
Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir
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hauntingblue · 20 days
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I don't know what to say... everyone got a happy ending except the people who actually wanted a real revolution and had a cause for it... but it's not like we had much of their opinions on this I guess... also no final lez sex scene... tragic
#the man silver is looking for is thomas i know it..... thats why flint wont kill him..... he will pop out with the i know where thomas is#flint and co being down to guerrilla tactics.... OH JACK MADE IT SKFJSKSJSK#silver realising that he did this tantrum that broke their crew apart for nothing cause flint really wangs madi alive.... DUMBASS#you know what i think the change between season in centering mostly everything around silver instead of flint kinda diminishes the causes#for billys grievances and betrayal and kinda descent into madness lmao bc his problem is with flint but it kinda is blurred in the distance#idk billy is very against flint and so was silver but the moment he got close to him those issues disappeared almost completely bc#novody complains about flint anymore... its just billy in the background and he just sounds petty#and then with silvers betrayal of flint bc of madi is just not deep enough like yeah your wife but that relationship is not developed...#and silvers relationship with flint actually is so it doesnt make sense#fistfight on the crows nest.... wow.... and billy drowns again!!!#is jack going to fight the governor HE IS GOING TO DIEE!!!#YEAAAAAH TWO AGAINST ONE KILL HIM!! FLINT KICK HIM WHILE HE IS DOWN!!!!#madi is alive my god..... silver was gon a end it all real quick#we could have done this before with twice the men but alas...#why is everything so eerie what is going on.... what is going to happen#MY GOD!!! FLINT IS MAKING ME CRY WHE IS HE SMILING AND PLEADING!!!! MY GOD!!!! FLINT YOU NEED TO MURDER HIM#EXACTLY WDYM THIS WAS ALL FOR NOTHING!!! CASTING IN THE DARK FOR SOME PROOF THAT YOU MATTERED AND FINDING NONE!!!#THE FUCKING TREATY MADI WOULDNT ACCEPT!!! SILVER YOU ARE NOTHING!!!!!#of course thomas was there....#silver i hate you but that was beautiful#them gaying out in the middle of the field akdbakns the soldiers just 🧍🏻‍♂️#you didnt betray her until now but it is literally the thought that counts#billy STILL ALIVE ajdjajj he is younger and more beautiful i told you.... he is unkillable#Featherstone as governor??? ajshaksjaiajwkqqjwkjwkakwkwwkwksa#look how happy max is ajdhaksjak YEAAAAHHH#jack that is a woman..... also ANNE AND JACK THE LAST PIRATES YEAAAHHHHH#THE PIRATE FLAG YEAAAAHHHHH#max and anne are smiling all the time now bc they get their pussy eaten on the reg.... it is true#talking tag#watching black sails
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deoidesign · 8 months
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There's only one week left on my kickstarter for FOUR books!!!
I really pushed a lot of boundaries on the page layouts and presentation of these books, they're all GORGEOUS and I am SO proud of every single one!
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Each book is self contained and 125-175 pages, so you can pick whichever sounds most exciting to you if you're not ready to jump into all four right off the bat!
Pirates, Summer Camp, Ghost Hunting, and Victorian Vampire Hunters!
But, the main charaters do also have a developing romance over the course of the series!
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it has been a TON of work to edit these into books and fix up some of the art and writing, but I promise I could not be happier with the work I've done!
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Gay time traveling vampires solving supernatural mysteries. what's not to love! ONE WEEK LEFT!!! BACK IT NOW!!!!!!!!!! or don't it's ok but IF YOU WANT THEM!!!! time is running out!
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If you can't back the project, I totally understand! Please share if you can, I'm really struggling to reach my audience since I can't post about it on my comic!
Thank you all so much for the support so far, it means the world to me!
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dragonlands · 11 months
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There's so much negativity around Izzy's death so I wanted to address some of the points I keep seeing thrown around.
"Izzy's death was pointless"
No, he just had his big speech about how basically they can kill him but they cannot kill the movement. That is a clear paraller to a lot of real life protestors of unjustice. He died protecting the community, he died so the community could go on.
"Izzy's death made his healing pointless"
No it didn't. Healing is always good, feeling happiness and belonging are ALWAYS worth it. We never know how long we've got, doesn't mean we gotta stop trying to be better or happier. His healing was still real. It still mattered.
"Izzy's character arc was left unfinished, it's bad writing"
Oh my god. If you open any writing guide about how to write impactful deaths, and the first thing that comes up is to leave some part of their arc unfinished. And his arc did go through quite a beautiful line, sure there could've been more but his story didn't end like, mid arc. As a writer, of course you want to make the audience sad when a character dies. It's good storytelling. Good stories are supposed to make us feel.
"Izzy died on the arms of his abuser"
Where the hell did this idea come from? Ed and Izzy have been in a toxic codependent relationship way before this show started. You could argue that Izzy was Ed's abuser, but that is not the argument I want to make here. Yes, we saw Ed driven to madness shoot Izzy on screen, but we know Izzy's the one that forced him to be Blackbeart when he didn't want it anymore. There's turmoil all around them. But the final moment is them finally meeting as people, not as components of Blackbeard.
"Izzy's death was unnecessarily awful"
His death was sad, yes, but it was quite beautiful as far as deaths go. He was surrounded by family who cared for him. He was loved, and accepted as he is. He knew his legacy will be carried on.
"They killed off the only character that showed us healing is never too late"
Did we watch the same show? That begins with then unhappy 40+ year old Stede deciding it's finally time to reach for his dreams? Where we see Blackbeard slowly gaining back his humanity? Where Black Pete starts off as toxically masculine dude but ends up in a soft gay marriage? Where most of the crew wanted to mutiny but then they realized being soft is good, actually. Jim's whole purpose in life being revenge but them learning to let that go and instead concentrate on love and fun and family. And so on. Izzy's arc is beautiful, but he's not the only person healing who thought it was too late already.
"Izzy's death was bury your gays trope"
No, what, no. In a pirate show where everyobody is queer some queer people will die. Bury your gays is about only having one or few queer characters and killing them off while the straights get their happily ever afters. This is so far from that.
Also, I want people to be aware of the phenomenon, where creators of diverse shows are subjected to more critism than those of non diverse shows. If this intrests you, Sarah Z on Youtube made a great video on it called Double standards and diverse media. Our flag means death has given us so much, queer love story with a happily ever after, finding community, nonbinary character. And the creators have always been so kind to fans, so let's show them tht kindness back. Because critizicing this one aspect can easily turn to seeming like the whole story is just unwanted. That stories like Ed and Stede's aren't worth telling. And I'm so aftraid that will happen, when just now for the first time in years we are finally getting queer stories.
Also, I understand people are sad. I am sad too - Izzy was an amazing character and his death was sad but that's just. Good writing. You can grieve, but trying to turn it into a moral or dramaturgy issue is just not a good look. And attacking the creators of this wonderful show is just horrible.
Remember - this fandom is a safe space ship 🏴‍☠️🏳️‍🌈
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irishmammonagenda · 6 months
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Boop!- Obey Me x Reader
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Summary: You go on a mission to boop, as per usual chaos ensues. Word Count: 3.5k Warnings: Female Reader (implied), i dont really think there's anything else but if you can see something lmk and i'll add a warning
very obviously inspired by tumblr's boop event
dividers by @saradika-graphics
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"Hello Michael!" You greet, signature foxy grin on your face. Michael looks up from where he's playing Connect Four with a man in robes and waves at you.
"Hiya MC!" He puts the palms of his hands on the soft cloud ground and leans back on them, he's bare chested in the heat, though he's adorned himself with waist beads and arm bands, firm muscles on display. His long curly blond hair is in intricate braids, small ornaments threaded through it. He grins up at you, bright red eyes shining under the light of the Celestial sun. "What's brought ya up to the Celestial Realm today?"
"I am evil. I am very evil Michael." You say seriously.
The other man laughs, though not unkindly. His tanned skin shimmers ethereally under the light, dark brown eyes stare up at you, rich like soil after the morning due. Dark waves and soft curls frame his face, some soft stubble one his jawline, barely noticeable. "I'm sure you're not evil." He says kindly.
You stare at him, before smiling as well, touched. "Aww thanks! And you are?"
The man smiles, reaching his hand up, Michael takes that time to sneakily move one of the coins the man had put down a slot over. "I'm Jesus, it's nice to meet you MC."
You cough. "You're Jesus?"
"Yes." He nods, "A lot of people are shocked when they first meet me...something about expecting me to look like Da Vinci's gay lover."
You nod, dumbfounded.
Michael, sensing your inner turmoil, and also needing to keep Jesus' attention elsewhere so he could continue cheating- winning creatively in Connect 4, clears his throat, "So what's brought you to the Celestial Realm and made you claim that you're evil?"
This makes you grin, "Well, my dearest Michael....have you heard of boops?"
Michael straightens up a little bit, Jesus watches him intently, before fixing the board to its original state whilst the Archangel is distracted.
"No I have not...Why, what are they?" Michael asks, signature mischievous grin on his face. "They sound fun."
"Well I'm glad you asked Michael!" You grin, before leaning in and whispering into his ear. The added proximity made you realise he smelt of pine cone and fresh rain.
Michael giggles evilly, turning over to Jesus, before reaching a dark, jewel adorned hand and booping his nose. "Boop!"
Jesus just smiles, Crucifixion was worse. "It's your go, Michael."
"Oh of course! MC wait for this game to be over! I have...uh..business to attend to in the Devildom!"
You and Jesus share a look.
Michael looks over at you two, "You coming Jesus?"
The man smiles gently, "No thanks, I'm still traumatised from that one time when Satan tormented me in the desert."
"Oh okay...." Michael deflates the tiniest smidge before looking back at the board, spluttering. "Hey you moved the pieces!"
Jesus snorts, "Yeah, I moved the pieces back from where you tried to cheat."
"Lying's a sin." Michael huffs.
Jesus laughs, "Was that an admition of guilt?"
Michael falls onto his back dramatically, dark skin shining in the Celestial Realm's blessed light. "Ugh! Woe is me! This is worse than the time that one Irish kid got me confused with Michael Collins!"
Jesus pats his shoulder in pity. "Easter's a hard time for all of us."
Michael blinks at the scars on Jesus' palms from the nails and bites back a very bad Cross joke. "You could say that again."
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After the game of Connect 4 ended, (Michael lost) you and the Archangel said your goodbyes to Jesus and began your journey down to the Devildom. Michael walks beside you, a good bit taller than you. Michael having swapped out his less than covering attire for a flowy white flare sleeved top that you'd imagine a pirate or a Victorian would wear, the lace buttons are undone for the most part, as per usual. You'd come to learn that the Archangel hated top buttons with a burning passion.
"I call Lucikins." Michael says with about as much seriousness as a 10 year old calling shotgun on the front seat of the car. So very serious.
"Fine. I call Mammon." You reply, looking up at him, as if daring him to try and boop your first man before you could. He pouts, but relents.
"I call Satan then." Michael blinks back at you with crimson eyes.
"No why?" You sulk.
Michael shrugs. "He's my nephew. I get to boop his nose it's the law."
"No it's not."
"Yeah it is!"
"Prove it then." You huff.
Michael turns around and you hear fidgeting before he hands you a paper napkin with writing on it. You notice the fountain pen he sneakily snuck back into his trouser pocket and glare at him, before reading the napkin.
The Eleventh Commandment: Thou shall let Michael boop his nephew's nose.
You hum, "Something's telling me this is fake."
Michael gasps incredulously, as if offended by the very notion, he places a hand over his breast, where his heart is. "How dareth thou! Truly, 'tis a crime against nature to speak such filth about the Holy Word. A crime against God I daresay!"
"Okayy...drama king."
Michael gasps again. "Alas! Thou speaketh such filth! Such blasphemy to thee! Thy words...such horrors! Cursed are thou amongst humankind!"
You deadpan. "I'm taking away your Shakespeare rights."
"Try it I dare you." Michael challenges, red eyes gleaming with something predatory. "You can boop Simeon."
You grin. "Yay!"
"I call Luke."
Your grin drops. "What the frickety flip that's my son."
Michael's brows furrow. "He's my son too what the flip."
You gasp, bringing your hands to your mouth. "Did we?..."
Michael's eyes widen, he pulls his top up and counts his ribs, losing count several times because you keep adding random numbers in. He looks up at you.
"Did we have a child out of Wedlock?!"
You and Michael look at each other in object horror. Both conveniently ignoring the fact that Luke technically came into existence millennias before you.
"I think we did...." You place your hand over your brow like a Victorian woman seeing the ankles of her secret lesbian lover for the first time.
Michael follows suit.
"Michael....I fear we might be sinners...."
"Well you know what they say in the human world MC...." Michael sniffles, looking away from you dramatically. "Sinner sinner chicken dinner...."
You pause, breaking character. "Is it not Winner winner chicken dinner?"
Michael shrugs. "Not like I care."
You parrot his movement, shrugging your shoulders back as well, before the horror creeps back onto your expression. "But...Simeon and Barbatos also see Luke as their son...."
Michael looks at you wide eyed, grabbing you by the shoulders, "MC! We have to count their ribs!"
You put your head in your hands, "Two angels, a demon and a human with angel blood that's somehow an angel....our son is a hybrid!"
Michael gasps. "Hybrid princess?"
You do a double take. "Why do you know what gacha is." You breath out, looking at Michael in genuine fear.
"I wasn't a gacha kid don't worry! Levi was though! He'd show me his little Gacha stories that he made...." Michael looks nostalgic. "Such an adorable little weirdo....he gets it from Lucifer y'know."
"If I described Lucifer as an adorable little weirdo I think he'd skin me alive."
"That sounds like a you problem." Michael grins.
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You and Michael continue your journey down to the Devildom, only this time he's giving you a piggy back ride because you annoyed him until he agreed. Strong hands hold your thighs to keep you from falling, as your arms are wrapped around his neck.
You had been 'calling' people to boop.
"I call Diavolo."
"Deal." Michael nods, trying and failing to twist his head around to face you because you're on his back and he's not an owl. "I don't want to accidentally start another Celestial War by booping the Prince and acting King of the Devildom's nose."
"That's surprisingly a good reason."
"Fuck you mean surprisingly?" Michael scoffs, though there's no real bite to it. "I'm always having good reasons."
"Yeah and I'm the spawn of Satan." You say sarcastically, human world side winning over for a second, until you remember that Satan is in fact a real person and that you are in fact now in the Devildom.
Michael laughs, "You know who Satan's the spawn of? Lucifer."
"Don't let him hear you say that."
"What's he gonna do? Bully me while I'm in a desert? Jokes on him, I hate sand and don't go anywhere near it."
"I don't feel safe anymore, we're gonna get jumped."
Michael laughs.
"I call Levi, I need to return an anime to him anyway." Michael breaks the silence.
"You borrow animes from Levi?"
"Yeah sometimes, me and Saint Peter watch animes at the gates of Heaven when it's a slow day and not a lot of souls are being guided into it."
"Nah imagine dying and waking up in heaven to see the people at the gates watching anime."
Michael sticks out his tongue, though stops when he remembers you're on his back and can't see it.
"I call Barbatos."
Michael sighs in relief, carrying you through the streets of the Devildom. "Thank God, you can have him. Good luck with that."
"Go fuck yourself Michael. I call Thirteen."
Michael gasps excitedly. "Tell her I say hi!"
"Tell her yourself."
Michael huffs. "You're so mean to me MC."
You bite his neck, really embodying your inner feral street cat. He yelps. "Don't try to steal my wife, next time I'll bite your jugular pretty boy."
Michael laughs, "I am quite pretty..." He flips his hair, the intricate golden braids and curls hit you in the face, seeing as you're still on his back. You let out a sound similar to a feral street cat coughing up a hairball, he laughs again. "Also I'm pretty sure Thirteen is a lesbian."
You perk up. "Oh yay! You should be the priest at our wedding Michael. You don't have a choice."
"Fine." The archangel huffs, his plump lips pouty. "But only if Luke's the flower boy."
"I was gonna make him the ring boy giver person." You reply, playing with one of the ornaments braided into Michael's hair.
"Even better!"
Moments of comfortable silence last before you decide to break it because you're evil and have no moral code whatsoever.
"Michael you can have Solomon."
Said Archangel halts. Dropping you off of his back before turning to look at you, now strewn out on the ground. He puts his hand over his brow like a Victorian man who just saw the ankles of his gay lover. (Probably Solomon: You'd decided.)
"No! How couldeth thou?" He sighs dramatically before it just turns exhasperated. "Those rumours just died down...."
You jump up off of the ground, wiping the soil from your clothes, "They have?! Dammit!"
Michael deadpans at you, pulling at a golden coil of hair and letting it be stretched straight before letting go and watching it bounce back up into a curl again. "I hate you."
"That's harsh."
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After having separated from Michael, you sneak into your First Man's room. He sits lazily, lounging on his bed and scrolling mindlessly through his DDD. So enraptured he doesn't even notice your presence just yet until you press your finger to his nose.
"Boop!"
"ARGHH-" he screeches, jumping atleast five feet in the air before realising it was you and scoffing. "Oh...It's you...o-of course ye'd wanna boop the Great Mammon's nose! That'll cost ya!" He huffs, trying to avoid the initial embarassment of you seeing him so uncool!
"Boop!" You boop him again, he grins stupidly like an idiot inlove, before snapping out of it and putting his 'too cool for this' persona back on.
"T-that'll cost ye! MC!" He stutters, trying to cover his blush.
"Oh will it now?" You raise a brow before bringing your lips to his nose and pecking it there, pulling away again in less than a second. "Boop."
He pulls you in for a hug before you can pull away completely. You grin, having reduced the Avatar of Greed to a blushy pile of mush in your arms.
Take that Alpha Male podcasters who think women want dominant mean men who suck and hate them. Everyone knows all women want a Mammon.
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You and Michael meet back up again. Michael having a scratch on his leg.
"Satan did not like the fact that I booped him at first...until I gave him an emergency kitten that I put in a cage nearby like 5 minutes before." Michael says, noticing that you noticed the scratch. "He almost bit me! He's definitely Lucikin's son!"
You point and laugh at him. He pouts, before interlocking your arms. "Purgatory hall?"
"Purgatory hall." You nod.
Michael knocks on the door. Luke answers it before gasping like a child on christmas. "Michael! Hi!" He hugs the Archangel who laughs and picks him up.
The blond boy notices you at that point, he smiles brightly. "Oh MC! Hi!"
"Hiya Luke!" You smile at him, booping his nose. "Boop!"
"Michael follows suit. "Boop!"
Luke blinks before grumbling. "I'm not a child..." He then turns his head back towards Michael who's still holding him. "Boop!"
Michael laughs. "Do MC now!" With that he quickly moves closer to you, Luke still in his arms, and the young angel boops your nose too. You all grin, laughing. Luke just ecstatic that Michael was able to visit. And he brought you too!
You end up watching a movie together, all three of you. Simeon comes home halfway through it. Having had to visit a publishers. Michael hides behind the door and when Simeon opens it, the dark skinned angel pops out, booping the poor man. "Boop!"
Simeon blinks at him. Michael smirks lightheartedly "Get booped Loserboy."
Simeon smiles, his gaze turning toward you." MC would you lie any help with your Solomon x Michael fanfiction? I heard from Satan that you two were on hiatus."
Michael groans. "Traitors!"
You laugh. "Get fanficked Loserboy."
Michael grins, putting on faux dramatics. "You both suck I'm going back into Luke! At least he's actually cool."
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After a lovely movie with Luke, Simeon and Michael, you run away to a cave because why not?
After entering Thirteen's very lovely abode, and avoiding all of the traps laid out for Solomon, you finally catch a glimpse of her vibrant ombre hair.
"Hiya Tee!" You grin, pouncing on her and pulling her into a hug. The reaper, who's clearly batshit insane doesn't even flinch, she just laughs, hugging you back even tighter.
"MC! To what do I owe the pleasure babes?"
You giggle michieviously before bringing your hand up and, "Boop!"
She grins wider, bloodied emerald eyes staring back at you so lovingly, hints of playful devilry in her expression.
"Oh let me try! Boop!" She says before pulling you in for a kiss that makes your knees feel weak.
When you both pull away to catch a breath, you breathe out breathlessly. "That was a super boop....an evil boop even..." You say, face burning red, you know she feels the red hotness of your cheeks.
She just laughs. Tilting her head, some strands of hair falling into her face. "You want another one?"
You've never nodded quicker in your life.
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"How in Diavolo's name did you get in here?" Lucifer asks, looking up from the work on his desk. He quickly closes over the confidential files and paperwork, turning his head to Michael once more. Blood red eyes narrowed at their counterpart's.
Michael approaches the Demon at a speed that could rival Mammon's. In an instant he's beside the raven-haired man. "Awww Lucikins don´t worry about it! Boop!"
Lucifer swallows thickly, and flicks his gaze to Michael. Despite having the glare of a thousand suns on him, Michael continues grinning. "Did you...did you just boop my nose?..." The Avatar of Pride asks in a low voice.
"I'm not too sure if I did..." Michael puts his fingers to his chin in mock thought, before grinning, pointer finger in the air. "I'll have to do it again to make sure!" The Archangel exclaims before booping his younger brother on the nose. "Boop!"
Lucifer growls. "Michael-"
"Yes, Lucikins?"
"Michael I am going to kill you."
The elder only laughed, "Awww classic Lucikins! Still in his teenage angst phase!"
"I did not have a teenage angst phase." Lucifer glares, huffing embarassedly, turning away and picking up his quill in an attempt to turn away from this god awful conversation.
Michael gives him a knowing look. "Don't make me pull out the photos."
His head snaps back to his elder brother. "What photos?"
"The photos of you with the wolf cut, the ones with you and the eyeliner, the ones where you're all dressed up in your little emo costumes..." Michael wipes a tear from his eye. "Oh...you were so adorable! Always threatening to murder me...! Glad to see that my wittle baby brother hasn't changed!" The Archangel exclaims, pinching his younger brother's cheeks and making them squish up, Lucifer felt his face flush with embarrassment. Michael laughed, he looked like a chipmunk!
"...'m no' a 'ittle ba'y bro'er! you'r tw' minu'es ol'er than 'ee!" Lucifer tries to shout, but with Michael pushing his cheeks together, it comes out muffled and distorted.
"All I heard is that you said I'm the best big brother in the three realms and you love me very much!"
Lucifer glares at him. A glare that doesn't hold any weight seeing as Michael is still squishing his cheeks together and he still looks like a chipmunk.
With enough squirming and fighting, Lucifer finally manages to get out of his brother's grip, he rubs his cheeks, staring daggers at the angel. "I would never say that. I'm not your baby brother. I'm not Lucikins. You're two minutes older than me yet two centuries more immature." He says venomously.
Too bad Michael's poison proof.
The Archangel laughs, "You're not my baby brother? Huh? Who's bed did you climb in when you were scared of the thunder back in the Celestial Realm?"
Lucifer bristles, swallowing thickly, "That's irrelevant."
"Sureee." Michael grins, though it's softer around the edges, Lucifer feels it too.
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Lightning flashes in the Celestial realm. Long before Mammon had even been born. Thunder roars, a small whimper sounds. Lucifer sits in his bed, covers over his head, gripping a pillow tightly. Barely even a cherub, he takes the slight break in the storm to gather the courage to waddle over to his twin's bed.
"Mikey?" Lucifer whispers in the darkness, gripping onto the poles of the bed with his tiny pale hands. "Mikey...you awake?" He says through gapped teeth, a slight lisp in his voice. The gap between his two front teeth would close with time.
The sheets rustle, a young Michael groans, also barely a cherub his voice is as high pitched and childlike as his brother's. "Luci...go to sleep..." The slightly older cherub says, eyes still closed.
"Can't Mikey...'s too loud.." Lucifer whispers, black hair sticking to his forehead in a slight sheen of sweat. As if to prove his point, thunder roars again, lightning flashes. Lucifer whimpers, gripping the pole tighter.
Michael sits up sleepily, short curly hair tied in the tiniest protective braids possible, some small blond coils escaping their confines at the edges of his head. The older cherub wipes a small, chubby hand over his eyes and yawns before opening his duvet up just enough so that Lucifer could climb in.
"Make sure...go to sleep Lucikins..." Michael whispers tiredly, covering his yawning mouth before abandoning his teddy bear and putting his arm around his little brother instead.
Thunder sounds again. Lucifer stiffens and lets out a small sound. "Mikey...'m scared..." He grips onto his twins matching pajamas tightly with his tiny little hands.
Michael grins sleepily, red eyes staring into his twins same coloured ones. "Don't worry Lucikins! 'm always gonna p'tect you! That's wha' big brothers are for!"
The thunder still sounds, Lucifer still stiffens slightly,but surrounded by the warmth and comfort of his twin, he manages to sleep soundly.
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After all the madness and badness. (Devil face emoji) You and Michael meet up in a Devildom café.
"That was productive!" The Archangel grins.
"Indeed it was Michael....indeed it was...." You say, a blissed out look on your face.
Michael arches a brow, "Is that one of Thirteen's leather jackets?"
"Maybe..." You say dreamily, playing with the sleeves.
Michael just laughs at you. "Get it, I guess! Anyway wanna watch Gilmore Girls with me? I need to catch up with Raphael...he's a few episodes ahead of me."
"Of course I do."
Michael brings his hands together in an imitation of a fly on a wall doing the hand thing. "Excellent."
.
.
.
"Do you think Luke's going to grow up to open a coffee shop?"
"Nah, he'd open a bakery."
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this is utter bullshit and utter dogshit idek
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