#this is petty but op of that post said the ''your people did this'' and ''fuck him'' thing happened in ep 47 and that's WRONG it was 49

[revvethasmythh]

reread The Post because I've been talking about and I am feeling the flames on the sides of my face again

[txttletale]

Overly long disclaimer incoming: This is not anon hate. This is not an argument. This is not accusation. This is not agreement with anyone directly involved. Any feelings of hostility that may be gleaned from this ask are most likely because I struggle with maintaining a professional tone. Because this is not intended to be read as hostile.

This is solely intended as a statement of facts regarding who said what, mixed with light speculation on their intent. It is being sent because I feel that misinterpretation has occurred, and I firmly believe that one should always be as informed as possible on situations they are directly involved in. I hope this ask can make a positive difference.

Okay. Disclaimer over. Sorry it was so long.

I do not think roadhogsbigbelly accused you of being a pedophile yourself, and I don’t believe it was because of your stardew valley take.

I have seen several of his posts on this matter, and it seems he doesn’t like stardew valley (found it boring), his beef with your take was frankly minor and inconsequential, and it was intended to be separate from the larger critique he had of you. He made a few posts saying rather explicitly that they were separate issues, and I believe his initial post was a vagueblog that, on accident, conflated the two issues.

As for the main issue: if i recall correctly, you had reblogged a kink-positive post that turned out to have been made by an open zoophile (and also pedophile?). The zoophile in question is a clear danger to others, as they have a community of pedophiles and zoophiles that welcomes so-called “pro-contact” people.

This was where his accusations originated from, and this was what he focused on. He is concerned about how dangerous people like that are able to infiltrate into kink-positive spaces (is “infiltrate” the right word? I don’t know). His harshest critique of you seems to have been that you did not interrogate the intent of the person when you reblogged, and even that seems to have been mostly expressed in order to turn this into a learning moment for others. I don’t have precise wording (curse you tumblr mobile, for not letting me factcheck myself), but i believe he shared the sentiment that we all could stand to be a little more discerning?

- and I know he knows you have already responded to that criticism. For those unaware: txtlletale’s response was that she cannot be expected to vet the OP of every post on her dash, and that this criticism is thus unreasonable. His response to that response? … I forget, sorry. But I don’t think what you said was unreasonable. Again, my intent is to clear misunderstandings.

The point here is that, I don’t believe “accidentally reblogged a pedophile” and “is a pedophile” are the same statements, and roadhogsbigbelly had made the former statement. In short… I don’t think he was pedojacketing you. Whether he had unfairly judged you, and done so out of a transmisogynistic bias is, of course, a different question entirely. And if anyone else used his words to directly accuse you of pedophilia? Well, fuck em. Assholes.

I hope this makes sense. This ask is anonymous because I do not wish to become the focus of this issue. I am solely presenting information as I understand it. Feel free to fact check for yourself.

I think your anger is valid. These situations are infuriating, as is the culture of distrust that they bring. People on social media are, in general, far too swift to condemnation. You see it all the time, with pedojacketing, with qanon, with countless petty internet arguments. I try my best to reverse this tendency, at least with my own behavior. I don’t think you are a careless person, nor someone with a pattern of spurious accusations against people. I know you’re an intelligent and discerning blogger, which is why I trust you enough to send this ask. I hope I can have a positive impact.

have a good day, and take care of yourself.

(Considering sending an ask about this to him as well, so if you see a weird anon on his blog talking about misinformation hi its me)

i just don't agree with you--like, i don't say this aggressively either but this is just not an honest description of what he said. he called me, verbatim: "a tumblr user who markets incest and loliporn as an inherent part of queer sexuality". nothing in the screenshot mentioned "loliporn" -- nothing i have ever posted about in my fucking live mentions "loliporn" -- and for that matter, obviously, in none of my posts have i ever said that any kink, 'problematic' or not, is 'an inherent part of queer sexuality', and most fucking evilly of all, i don't 'market' these kinks.

like, think for two seconds about the implication of saying i, a trans woman, am "marketing loliporn". i think that goes beyond criticizing that i didn't vet my reblogs (which would obviously be insane in and of itself but i agree would not be pedojacketing). it's literal grooming/social contagion rhetoric. and again i can't emphasize enough he "just assumed" that "loliporn" was involved, despite it having no connection to anything i have ever posted! that + in his absolutely laughable double-down he says "99% of the people who make these sorts of posts are actual fucking pedophiles" as well as "pedophiles are agreeing with you! that’s not great!" which.

like wow that's crazy hey if 99% of people who make "those posts" (about "not being mean to sex freaks", or as i would phrase it, "criticizing the double standard leveraged to initiate mass sexual harassment campaigns against queer people but especially trans people for what they do privately and consensually with other adults" are "actual fucking pedophiles", what is that implying about me? can sherlock holmes get on this case with me?

idk i don't appreciate being told that "he never said 4" when he sure as hell was repeating "2+2" over and over again. & if his critique was 'intended to be separate' then why would he bring it up at all in his original post, multiple times, to clearly imply he doesn't think i should have 'takes' or 'opinions' on anything? regardless of what he did and didn't say about me i think it is pretty fucking clear that this:

is not 'seperate or unrelated'. i think it is really really difficult and requires totally unearned levels of good faith to read this as anything other than explicitly confirming that the point of this post is to use transmisogynistic rhetoric as a cudgel to shut up me up.

you can believe what you like but i know what i read and what was said about me and i will not be lied to.

[anti-spop]

tumblr hates me since it recommends me regular spop posts sometimes, and this one showed up...

honestly though, what bothered me the most was the notes. sadly i didn't screenshot them, but everyone was treating this like a joke. like catra was just a bad kitty that knocked over your mug. (no rlly, someone said like "no no bad kitty!")

like okay, in the su fandom a lot of folks joked about the time steven shattered jasper, bc it was just too shocking that steven murdered someone on screen. but at the same time, the fandom understood it was a serious moment. he was able to bring her back and he felt a lot of remorse for it. his actions had consequences. might be a wild comparison, but think of how ppl treat b/reaking bad.

(CORRECTION: we don't actually see steven outright shattering jasper. it cuts to a black screen and then steven is seen with her shards. however you could still apply lars' death here, which DID happen on screen.)

but that is not the case for catra. a lot of ppl even romanticize this shit, like catra destroying reality just to be with adora was peak romance. or just her being a petty bitch - which DID happen tbh - but no one wants to hold catra accountable for all the horrible things she did. they don't care that catra nearly destroyed the entire existence of the world. they don't care that catra in a way killed angella (and catra is very satisfied about that). and this is just season 3. she gets a lot worse.

(also i saw a post somewhere that said "catra actually deserved to kill people on screen". like... oh my god.)

please don't harass the op if you find this post.

[fishing-lesbian-catgirl]

genuine question: how can we use this website to be less annoying to others?

Glad to give my thoughts. Like I said, I’m very petty and most of this stuff probably isn’t as big a deal to most people. Anyway I’m bad at being brief so I added a readmore. Here are my personal rules:

1: Don’t add anything to the body of a post unless you have something that you really feel will add some degree of value, meaning, humor, context, or at least something to people further down the reblog chain.

This is the most important rule. Adding something to a post makes it longer, it makes it so everyone who reblogs it in the chain after you has to see it. If you have nothing to add but “wow” or “holy shit” you are lengthening the post for no reason. Those reactions can easily go in the tags.

This is also the reason I think gimmick blogs are so annoying. It’s one thing for a “heritage post” blog to reblog things related to its respective gimmick. Simply reblogging them puts that thing on their blog, so anyone looking at it or following them because they want to see “heritage posts” will see it. But they go a step further and add “X heritage post” for no real reason other than to brand the post as theirs.

When I see a post that I like that has useless additions that take up space while adding nothing I get mildly annoyed and go to the reblog of the person who reblogged it before they did just to trim the useless comments off. But if that person deactivated then I can’t trim the comment. Tumblr lets you trim to the original post without any of the additions regardless of if op is deactivated or not with the little X on the reblog menu, but only to the original post. It’s better than nothing though

This whole point is, to me, a bit of tumblr etiquette that makes it so you don’t have to see unrelated comments from someone you don’t follow just because they thought to add a pointless comment way up the chain. This definitely is petty, but if you remember how the old tumblr formatting worked, this was extremely important because each addition took up even more screen space with the line to the next persons url and squished the original post into smaller and smaller spaces. So that’s probably why I feel so strongly about it even though it doesn’t matter as much anymore.

2: The tags are mostly your free space to say what you want, BUT try and respect that OP will likely see them.

A LOT of communication done on this website is done through talking in the tags. That’s not what they were originally meant for but that doesn’t matter anymore. People will likely be looking in their notes to see tags by their mutuals.

The original poster can and will see every tag on a post, unless they delete the post or mute notifications. Mute notifications seems like it doesn’t work, but that’s because it only mutes future notifications on the post, the tags in your notes before muting will still be there regardless

This is to say that in most situations, if the op is someone like me who uses their notes to communicate with their mutuals and others in their communities, your irrelevant tags might also be there and annoy them. So use courtesy when tagging. Thankfully tumblr cuts off tags after a certain point on the notes page but still keep it in mind. I go overboard writing mini essays in the tags all the time, and while I do think that is a little annoying I do it anyway so I can’t blame people.

3: Keep blorbo tagging to a minimum if you can help it.

This is probably my most controversial stance, but blorbo tagging can be really annoying in certain circumstances.

The biggest offender to me are tagging make characters on posts about women. I don’t care that you think he’s your babygirl or whatever, I find this extremely annoying. I get it, sometimes a post fits your character really closely but the gender is wrong, but usually it doesn’t and they’re just doing this on any post even slightly related to a single aspect of a male character they care about. Often because most tumblr fandom people couldn’t be bothered to care about female characters if that was the only way to escape a saw trap alive.

There are other blorbo tag type things that annoy me, and again I’m a petty bitch, so take it with a grain of salt. But to me this one is a little personal (for lack of a better word). One of my first big posts on this blog was about wizard girls leaning in to kiss and having the brims of their hats get in the way. I didn’t mind the blorbo tagging about men that much, but they got less and less related to the post that it was annoying. The last straw before I deleted the post (back when I didn’t realize mute notifications actually worked. It might not have at the time) was a tag about their male blorbos leaning in to kiss and their belt buckles got in the way???

Idk I just find blorbo tagging in general mildly annoying and only do it when the post is an extremely perfect fit for on the characters I care about. I often block people for blorbo tagging about characters from things I dislike, I’m petty and the block button is fun for me to press, so I do that often. :)

4: NOT EVERY POST IS ABOUT YOU!!!

If you see a post that isn’t about you or your demographics or gender or whatever, you really don’t need to make it about you. That will very likely annoy op, especially because no one would have anything against you if you went and wrote your own post inspired by whatever the post in question said.

Not every post about lesbians needs to be made about gay men. Not every post about trans women needs to be made about trans men. Not every post about women needs to be made about men. And probably most important:

Not every post needs to be made about white people!

I know you might be thinking how writing something in the tags about your experience as a white person relating to what op is talking about, but I promise you they don’t want to hear it from us. They almost certainly are seeing tags from other white people because for some reason we can’t seem to see someone posting about issues of racism without having either the “I’m sorry for being white” or “white devils advocate” voices appear in our heads, just ignore it. Bite your tongue and reblog or move on for the love of god stop pestering the op.

Obviously the lesbian, trans women, and women ones are the ones I see in my notes that are annoying. But I can’t pretend I haven’t seen other white people say some really unnecessary shit in the tags / haven’t seen posts by nonwhite people who are clearly annoyed about how we always make everything about us.

Remember, you can always write your own post!

5: OP didn’t “turn off replies”

This feels like something that wouldn’t happen that often, but multiple times when I’ve made even mildly controversial takes about like video games or whatever, people will either add in a reblog or send me an ask complaining that I “turned off replies because I was afraid of hearing them disagree” usually followed by them calling me a coward. It’s very simple, I have reply settings so that people I follow and people who have followed me for at least like a week can reply, that’s it. I don’t have replies from everyone on because most people outside of those categories I don’t care about their opinions and they are annoying. If you can’t reply, that’s probably why. And if they actually did turn off replies, that’s because they don’t want replies, especially from people like the ones I just described.

6: I actually don’t have a problem with spam reblogging

This might seem backwards given my other stances on things taking up unnecessary space like useless comments, but I really don’t mind spam reblogs. I frequently do it when I see art I really like or when there’s a post that really resonates with me. Yes, it is annoying! No, I probably won’t stop. I do it so I can’t judge other people who do too. I am trying to keep it to like 5 times at most though, any more is just overkill.

7: OP is a stranger, not your friend

This one applies basically everywhere on the internet, but unless the person who made the post is someone who is like a mutual or someone that’s you’ve interacted with a lot before, they’re probably a stranger. Don’t try to be “playfully rude” or overly familiar. It’s annoying and weird and you will get blocked.

8: If you’re sending an anonymous ask, remember that OP is not going to take you in good faith most of the time

A lot of anon asks aren’t meant to be malicious, but a lot of others are. Bait, hate mail, insults, you name it, there’s a very good reason people like me assume every anon is sent in bad faith for some purpose. If you are going to send an anon ask, try to make it clear that you genuinely just want to ask a question and that you aren’t trying to trick op into saying something you can use to write a callout post against her or whatever.

You did that in this very ask thing and that’s why I’m writing out this long post instead of deleting it or letting it rot in the inbox.

9: Prev Tags etiquette / “Peer Reviewed” Tags

The usage of “prev tags” is controversial, a lot of people have different opinions on it. But with all the changes they made last year that made it harder to see the tags of the person before the person who’s reblog you are viewing, I think prev tags etiquette has changed.

My personal rules for prev tags are to copy the tags into my own tags, and then follow them up with a tag that says “<- prev tags”. Unfortunately tumblr tags convert dashes into spaces for some reason so it ends up looking like “< prev tags”. I’m stubborn and don’t want to like use an emoji arrow though. Anyway, tumblr mobile conveniently allows you to copy the tags of the person you are reblogging from surprisingly easily which I appreciate.

Unlike previous tags, which stay in the tags and don’t turn into an addition to the post, “peer reviewed” tags as they are sometimes called do get added to the post permanently for the remaining blog chain.

The unfortunate truth about this website is that some people have bad opinions on what qualifies as being meaningful enough to be cemented as an addition to the post via “peer review”. As such, the phrase “how could you leave this in the tags 🤣” has essentially become another “you sir have won the internet 🤣”

The shitty part about that is sometimes there are good and meaningful additions in the tags that are worth being added to the post as a whole. But you can add someone’s tags to a post without saying “how could you leave this in the tags”. Anyway this one is more subjective and hard to define so I hope I got my point across at least somewhat.

Anyway, there are probably a few other rules I personally follow that I’m not thinking about right now, but just follow general internet etiquette and try to keep in mind that op is a person who will likely read whatever you type, that covers most things tbh! Thanks for reading if you somehow read this far. Hope this helped! If it didn’t, oh well, I did try and warn you I’m petty and have strong opinions about things that usually don’t matter afterall

[sh1-n0bu]

saying that something 'is fictional' does not equal condoning it in real life. People say that their dark content stories are fictional because .. they are. These are not real scenarios or wishful thinking, they're exploring a dark subject in a fictional environment with characters that are not real, and it's really messed up how folks (including you) will dogpile on and attack just because someone saw a post they didn't like the tags and content warnings of, then decided to take it public.

This is evidenced by the fact that the original op hasn't even *read* the fic in question. It was tagged properly, they could've avoided it if they filtered out content they didn't like, yet they CHOSE to engage with it and take it public.

Imagine if your posts were taken out of context in that way. What if people started calling you a zo/ophile because of your dragon posts, despite the fact that dragons aren't real? I doubt that'd feel great for you, especially if you suddenly had a bunch of outraged people in your inbox accusing you of animal abuse because you ... Wrote a story.

And honestly, if you feel the need to participate in these sorts of discussions by jumping in headfirst on the first callout post you see disparaging people then it might be time to take a step back from Tumblr for a while. In most cases, social media like this is not a productive conduit for conversations and it just winds up being a slapfight about who can send the most petty, mean messages to one another or coerce more people into harassing the other until they delete or deactivate.

i havent seen the writers blog but a mutual of mine did and they said that the writer seemed to be in a not so okay mental state as they had said smt smt abt being in love with their own brother who is a real person and was trying to defend their fic. as ive said, in my current opinion, dark content writing and consuming is fine if its done in a healthy manner. but defending it just seems wrong yknow?

and yeah, like youve said, i am done with tumblr. i dont understand why you decided to come here anon when i stated in my latest anon answer that i was finished with talking about this thing. tumblr is becoming a not so safe place it seems. i am sorry if the things ive said/write were harmful or negative, i was simply trying to say that condoning dark content bc it was simply fiction and romanticizing it was weird. that was all i wanted to say

[damnfandomproblems]

4704: Please ignore the person saying you were "being an absolute twat", op. That was such a comical take I assumed at first glance it was a troll comment, lol.

Like the person who responded to that reblog said, op overreacted big-time by taking down the fic. There are so many ways to react besides that: ignore the comment, delete the comment, respond politely, block the commenter.

Sure, maybe you made a goof or two when you commented. Maybe your comment did seem abrasive to the author. But even so, it sounds like the author did none of the aforementioned self-care, experience-curation things, and they decided to pick a fight with you instead and then nuke their fic, which screams "I am not cut out to interact with other people online because I don't know how to handle myself." If I received comments like yours (and I'm sure I have), I'd just delete them, and block the person if I thought they were truly just there to annoy me. Arguing is just a petty bullshit thing for a fanfic author to do.

Posting since this is a response to a previous problem.

[hxhhasmysoul]

Seriously? lol

@voxmxchina I'll answer this in a post because I don't feel like writing on a character limit. It will be an expression of my annoyance, read at your own discretion, Najma you don't read, you don't need my vexation, I love you.

You gave me too much credit, voxmxchina, I tagged the post out of sheer pettiness. You should’ve looked more closely at the tags on that post, I did not tag the Sokka x Zuko ship because I have nothing nice to say about it. And I don’t go into ATLA tags so I don’t know how fans in those tags behave. 

Maybe I didn’t express my main issue with SatoSugu as a ship clearly enough. The main issue is how so many fans of that ship treat the fandom as their private playground and relentlessly spam tags of unrelated characters and ships. Regularly on posts that don’t even mention tagged characters, or much more upsettingly overwrite the canon character moments of those characters by making those exact moments about Gojou, Getou and/or their ship. Posts that will have one sentence preface about how character X (usually Yuuji but others too, all too often, Kenjaku is the second major victim, Megumi third) is a foil/parallel/whatever of G or G and character Y is a foil/parallel/whatever of the other G. And then produce paragraph after paragraph of utter drivel, sometimes not even mentioning character X and Y again, just overwriting their scene with G&G. Or pretend that a moment that is very specifically about another character is actually about G or G, like recently they spammed the tag with claiming Sukuna was disappointed that Gojou died, when Sukuna was very clearly fucking referring to the person he'd just killed, aka Higuruma. Because no moment in JJK can be spared from being about those two characters or their fucking ship, because to their fans, apparently, that’s all that JJK is about and other fans better fucking get along with that program. 

During the Takaba and Kenjaku fight I actually blacklisted the SatoSugu ship tags because I couldn’t fucking stomach the behaviour of the fans. And yet I stumbled on a post that made TakaKen about SatoSugu. It was not tagged with any tag mentioning the SatoSugu ship, not a single one, I’m not even sure it had any of their individual tags. But it had Takaba and Kenjaku tags. When I pointed out to the op, amid a longer exchange, that if they didn’t want people who don’t like SatoSugu to engage with their post maybe a) they shouldn’t’ve spammed the tags of the characters they are erasing and more importantly b) tag their shitty ship so people who are actually using available tools not to see posts about it, can avoid that content, that person called me some equivalent of “insane”. They told me that it’s none of anyone’s business how they tag their posts. 

So as you see, a member of your own community deems what you’re asking for crazy. Your community is by far the biggest subset of the JJK fandom on this website. And maybe that person was the only one who actually said it verbatim, but everyone who spams the other tags is of the same mindset. 

And while I didn’t extend the courtesy to SatoSugu fans because at this point I don’t give a single shit about their feelings and I actually wanted them to see that post and either reflect on their asshole behaviour or get upset and block me and thus purge what I see in the tags from their shit takes, unlike many of them I actually didn’t break the Tumblr ToS by tag spamming. That post is actually partially about the SatoSugu ship. 

I think you should first try policing your own community and not, I know it’s wild, zero in on one of the rare posts that express anything negative about that ship. Granted I have a lot of the fandom blocked for various shitty opinions, but when I scrolled down the SatoSugu tag organised by Latest, the first post I found saying anything negative about the ship was, lo and behold, mine. The one you left this reply on.  

If I can stomach several posts erasing my favs daily, SatoSugu fans can be exposed to literal five short paragraphs criticising their ship, but mostly their behaviour actually, every once in a while. 

[sometimes-men-need-help-too]

@egalitarianchica sent me the links to this post and on Instagram 

So this wife was posting on the relationship advice sub on reddit because she was upset with how her husband had taken her ‘joke.’ She went on to say in the original post how he’d complimented another co-worker’s lunch (which the co-workers wife packed for him). She thought it was disrespectful because she (OP) packs her husband’s lunch. He tried asking why it was disrespectful but stopped and they went to bed. The next day she was packing his lunch and decided to be petty so this would teach him to appreciate her lunches more. She packed him a clean diaper in his lunch (but made it appear as if it were full). She also says she didn’t fully do it out of anger. 

Well it seems that i messed up majorly because hes extremely cold, first thing he asked when he came back from work was "do you feel avenged? You satisfied now? Laugh, go on" and went to play with our daughter. He responds if I ask him something but doesnt look at me let alone touch me. This morning when I was making breakfast i went to pack his lunch and he took it from me and told me hed rather starve than take anything I made again.

Hes not responding to texts (like have a good day texts I usually send him) and I just feel very down and I know it was petty but isnt he taking it a bit too hard?

There’s a bit of clarification in the comments. A lot of people were wondering what he said to make her upset and she said that they were just talking about lunches in general and he said that his co-workers lunch looked beautiful but hard to eat (his co-worker has a bento box and apparently there was a lot of food in it). She added that she didn’t pack any food in his lunch, just the diaper. 

Some people were upset because she’s packing his lunch and wondering why a grown man can’t do it himself. That really isn’t the point. There’s nothing with (in this case) a wife packing her husband's lunch. It’s one thing if she was forced to or he wasn’t being appreciative, but that isn’t the case. She even said that she doesn’t mind doing it; she’s on maternity leave and she’s already making breakfast at that time anyway. Normally, she said, he does do it himself. He meal preps and packs it. 

She went on to blame her post partum hormones for this, because she wasn’t upset when she woke up, just when she remembered it as she was doing his lunch. 

What baffled me was seeing so many people who think they’re both at fault here. Her for obvious reasons and him for his reaction. Some said that he reacted immaturely and should have just laughed off the joke. 

He is allowed to be upset. Now if he continues to just ignore her then that would be a problem. But I don’t understand why other people are acting like he’s in the wrong. How would you feel if your S/O embarrassed you for no reason?

Let’s go over the facts again: 

- He made an innocent comment. He did not try to make her feel guilty for the lunches she provided nor did he demand that she do better. It was nowhere near disrespectful

- He was most likely embarrassed. Someone at his work probably saw the diaper

- He might not have been able to eat for a certain period of time. She doesn’t mention if he bought food or not so we don’t know 

- She doesn’t fully take accountability. I wasn’t even sure she felt remorseful. It doesn’t sound like it in the original post. Not until I read one of her comments where she’s expressing frustration at how many people are focusing on her making his lunch and she says she wants to fix this. Furthermore, the blame can’t lie solely on her hormones. Hormones aren’t an excuse. Yes, they can contribute to things but that still means you have to take accountability for what you do and say

[oogaboogaspookyman]

Actually y'know what? Fuck it honestly!

I said things about Cragas being scary but not harmful before and seeing Alastor nowadays today i thought "wouldn't he be scarier if he DID hurt others with no hesitation?" And then it hit me...

I want him to be goofy, scary, weird, mysterious, charming, secretive, petty, probably op, and overall steal the show sometimes, heck! If the whole A Grim Place concept did become a full-blown series, i want Cragas to have his own episode centered around him just vibing and being himself and spill some lore crumbs on the way too!

I want Cragas to be fucking fun and lovable and yet terrifying and unlikable, so much so people will get confused trying to choose between liking him and hating him and end up doing BOTH

Yes this is inspired by Stayed Gone, i just wanna see him get all creepy and intimidating and full-on his face will make you wish it was all just a bad dream

Besides, i'm thinkin' of extra things now that i'm making this post~

Hint:

Looking at your shadow will be of great help, but be ready to see what you rather not be

[mamushroomoracorn]

I saw your comments on a post of why Leona gets more hate than Vil, and I can only say:

You majesty spoke ✨FACTS✨

Asker = you❖OP = original poster of the topic

Thank you, I don't want to assume, anyone else or you the asker, to assume the worse in the OP poster.

Don't witch hunt them:

I am just going to make a post like they said.

This is mainly aimed at them but I am just trying to get my points across

◙

This was about why Leona gets more hate than Vil.

They said themselves but I think they had a different meaning for what they said. But they said it badly.

Main critical points was mostly why people brought up racism

The evidence of fandom mistreatment

How they formatted it was badly if they wanted just a "Leona vs Vil"

How in general darker skin characters in comparison are mistreated with others outside of ND.(similar but different topic)

How Leona and Vil got same cannon treatment but not Fandom treatment. Not just fandom "opinion"

◐

I tried talking to them in the DMs after they consented to talking there and I ended there as requested by op when they asked after we give our two pieces.

I wanted to talk in the DMs but it was a mess, I did try waiting for them until they were done chating and I believe they did so too.

But it was still hard.

○

Just to clear up things Vil and Leona is my favorite characters.

But I am Ace trappola and Trey fan at heart.

I'm also Black and Autistic.

I took debate classes that talk about formatted arguments.

I been in the fandom a long time.

I am not the best but I will try to lay out what I am saying.

◐

I tried to give not give bias but everyone have bias.

Under the assumption they did talked with a lot of friends from different backgrounds.

Their intentions weren't racist or intentionally ignorant they just wanted a normal conversation.

I still do think that.

◎

Although I do understand their intention wasn't to bring race and just wanted to compare Leona and Vil.

Defending people who likes Vil.

But I think they misinterpret the issue/debate/discussion and what it is about or what they implied by accident.

◧

I did talked last night about how they formatted the argument badly and they didn't cut clear lines.

After they consented to being criticized.

I mention, if they didn't want to talk or debate about .

if it is racism or not they shouldn't really formatted the discussion like that.

Expressly it is clear, it is more to just finger pointing. Since there is nuance and history in this debate/fandom.

❖

Let's get this out of the way, basically to a argument.

You need to clear up what you are arguing about.

Context to the topic

Person A arguments

Why they might think that why or have a explanation.

Your response w/evidence and reasoning

▦

This fandom does have a history of racism/colorism outside of just characters.

"Belly dancing outfits" topic, Stereotypes of dark skin characters.

Discrimination in general.

I remember when a twst creator had blatantly said the R slur despite not being Autistic or disabled.

Leona vs Vil have been a topic for a long time at during the JP translation era

{where there wasn't any EN server yet}

So already there's a fair assumption that race could be at play in the Leona vs Vil.

◧

I did not had time to say this because they cut me off saying "I don't see, eye to eye"

I just don't agree

Then of course the comments about in their own Original post sub-quoting:

"How it is more racist to assume that the person who likes vil is racist" -OP poster

"Why the fandom treats Leona different doesn't come from racism"

Which isn't really the point when people say the treatment of leona is unfair or discriminatory.

It isn't a petty response to Leona vs Vil, in fact the Leona vs Vil is unrelated.

To unfair treatment of Leona which is a different debate.

Which I think they mixed up multiple debates that happen over the years.

But still they still bringing it up.

◌

I think they thought it was all just Leona vs Vil.

it is about the treatment of Leona in the fandom and how it comes from a general mistreatment of darker skin characters.

Despite many of the darker skin characters having the same growth and treatment in cannon.

𖠅

Let's start with Leona and Vil because it is easier since it started from Leona and Vil.

One of their points is that Leona "murder" was premeditated.

Vils wasn't:

Leona and Vil "attempted" murder of somebody.

Vil was mentally unstable but he did made the choice to actually commit murder, he would of continue if his friends didn't came along.

Leona did tried to stampede Malleus, but considering Malleus is a well known powerful fae, I believe his intention was to more than to injure Malleus like anyone else.

They did mention how Leona harmed his peers more but honesty both actions would of harmed their school/classmates.

Both would of ruined their and everyone reputation.

One would of been more physically if Malleus were to lash out.

One would of been more mentally and emotionally

⧎

Another point or group point they made: Is that Leona treats his peers badly.

Which is up to debate.

Although Leona does Laze around, he does pay Ruggie to do his job. Other than chapter 2 where he commit horrible crimes.

It doesn't effect anyone but mostly him. Also he is only rude whenever someone bother him first outside of chapter 2.

✎But he did many good stuff

{Spoilers}

He does donate his clothes to Ruggie.

He pays attention to his teamates to the point he gives personal gifts to his dormitory folks.

He literally sacrificed himself to the government police when abducted so Ruggie doesn't get hurt.

He let's Riddle lay on his limb to let Riddle rest.

He let's us stay in his dorm

He helped Vil during Fairy Gala, even though he did have a motivation he could of just let someone else do it.

He is shown to care just like Vil

✎Vil is like the same

Vil does help small businesses

Vil cares about his peers too to the point he will take time out of his day to adjust their clothing.

He can't help but to be critical, that's his love language.

He pays attention to the small things.

He is also appropriately affectionate.

Gives praise and gratitude.

But also:

He gives unwanted criticism

He is also physical with his peers sometimes.

He also gets on people outside his dormitory.

He literally stands back when someone else is getting physically hurted in his own leadership.

He lets Rook his vice harass other students of other races and let's Rook sometimes inappropriate touch other students.

He is unintentionally classist, he made comments about MC outfit despite their living conditions.

He also get on epels accent and dialect because it is too "incorrect".

He also doesn't really adjust to how his peers want to dress or present as their affirming gender.

Both of their cons

Both of theses guys will dip out when someone is in trouble.

But Leona mostly isn't in power majority of the time.

Vil is mostly is in power to do something.

⌨︎︎

The main difference between theses two is how their growth is shown, backstory and Lore.

Both got pros and cons

Otherwise their shouldn't be much of a race issue or difference.

ဗီူဗီူWhich is the main debate problemဗီူဗီူ

It isn't that people is overacting over a character comparison.

Is that OP you mention race multiple times in your argument, you mention that people had brought race into it.

You didn't say why they did.

Which is a important factor into formatting arguments to why people in the fandom not think that way.

Because there many people who act that way.

☄︎

OP said sub quoting this:

"I never seen people outright say I hate Leona for being dark skin"

People don't have to say "I hate Leona because he is black".

✎There's things called Micro aggressions and of course racial discrimination. Which I seen a lot of darker skin characters had that treatment not just Leona.

Because when you brought race into it OP you brought up the Colorism/Race issue.

Discrimination can be seen in

Whitewashing

Giving negative stereotypes to POC that harms our community

Removing any positive traits from the character and replacing them with stereotypes.

Removing representation

I faced a lot of Micro aggressions:

Ex: Just chopping up a argument is just people "overacting". Also combining multiple two seperate debates about treatment of characters with the fandom(A) vs with a character comparison(B) .

Despite the Nuances and multiple meaning in Debate A.

It is unfair and not good to do that because you are brushing off vaild feelings with evidence.

I have seen, like I said earlier.

"Belly dancer outfits" or negitive Orientalist ideas

@gwaaaaar who worded this perfectly ▼

"Its unfortunate that foreign culture is seen as so distant that sometimes it gets sexualized"

Although there's appreciation, there is sometimes fetish-ation.

But also there's the:

✂ Aggressive black male stereotype

🜲 The predatory South East Asians/Black males

𖠌 The fetishism from the fandom of the Romani character from the Disney movie with "Hunchback" character.

𖢘Romanticism of Rook fetishism towards other minority coded characters.

𖠈Sometimes with Native people too I seen stereotypes.

-

Leona falls into thoses mistreatments so it isn't just "different opinion".

It could be, I don't deny it.

Expressly when you combine two seperate discussions.

OP you will have theses responses, when you ignore it or don't address it.

Your points will be chop up to bias OP if you don't put a line what this debate is about.

You could of just say Leona vs Vil and end it right there OP.

It makes spaces this unsafe and when fandom actively ignore poc people. Wording it like that makes it unclear who is your target audience, or what you are arguing against.

This could clearly come off as, any racial criticism towards how a fandom treats two different characters is wrong and just opinionated based.

By the why you worded it.

⚈

Rook does gets better treatment than Leona.

Despite Leona getting harrassed by Rook even stating himself he doesn't want to be compared to being "wild".

Leona being intelligent and skillful as Vil.

Leona being caring towards people he is close with.

Leona gets reduce to being a lazy asshole that isn't thoughtful, jealous will take you away from friends, is physically/emotionally abusive, and is a "alpha male".

Despite not how male lions act like for one

How literally he is said to respect woman.

Rook despite stalking and touching without permission, being more physically active, despite making off comments, despite criticizing his friend at the worse moment, despite also pushing it sometimes, and despite not being consentful respecting people wishes.

He gets more soft stories, he doesn't really get framed as gaslighting or doesn't get as much toxic stories as Leona or Jamil.

He doesn't have aggressive words used on him during text, unlike Leona or Jamil.

Main reason why I am using Rook as a example, and not the Leech twins/Kalim because leech twins are ND coded a lot of discrimination for the Leech twins happens there.

With often they are babied or seen as less functional.

Rook really isn't, you can say Rook is ND coded with how he "hyper fixated" on the characters he harrassed.

Saying this lightly

But mental illness isn't a excuse for bad behavior always.

More of a explanation.

Rook is functional to think, breath, and make decisions, in fact babying him because of it is bad.

Like Kalim made harmful mistakes but he understands and tries to improve from it.

Rook been told off multiple times for his and he still continues.

See how Rook is way more aggressive than Leona and still gets better treatment. Vil is on the same level as Leona and still gets the better treatment.

I'm not saying people cant have opinions, but sometimes thoses opinions harm others.

It can lead to unwelcoming spaces to poc. If you word stuff just "Leona vs Vil".

Like people could like a game/fandom and be critical. A fandom is a diverse and wide area of demographic of people, there's bound to be people who dislike Leona or Vil.

Theres bound to be people who is intentionally or unintentionally discriminatory.

But you cannot say the fandom treatment is just only "different opinion".

it is too wide and too vague that to the point where it completely hurts POC when they give vaild critical points.

You did say there's different opinions OP but OP that also means there's people who I listed who display Colorism or Racism.

You could accidentally vaildate thoses harmful ideologies.

☘

I'm going to leave Comments on and Asks on for people who wants to continue discussion, critical advice or wants to give me points.

Otherwise have a Nice day asker @therezabravo and thank you for the compliment.

[youngpettyqueen]

Hello I’ve been tagged by @thebreakfastgenie in a fun looking fic game, so here we go!

Rules: share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people. If you have written fewer than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway

Here are my 10 most recent fics, from my ao3-

1. “what remains”

“God only knows why BJ is awake at this hour, but he is.”

(A short post-Goodbye, Radar fic where BJ sees something he doesn’t expect, but it doesn’t surprise him)

2. “it’s not chicken soup, but it’s good for the soul”

“Trapper steps through the door to the Swamp quietly, mindful of where he places his feet on the messy floor as he closes the door softly behind him. He pads over to Hawkeye’s cot, still being mindful of his volume, not wanting to startle the bundle of blankets within said cot.”

(Post-Carry On, Hawkeye, in which Trapper takes care of Hawkeye while he’s sick)

3. “a cautionary tale of not paying attention in close quarters”

““Charles, have you seen that letter I got yesterday?” Hawkeye asks, rifling through everything like a mole snuffling through the dirt.”

(Charles accidentally breaks Hawkeye’s nose and he feels bad about it but it’s REALLY funny)

4. “and miles to go before i sleep”

“Hawkeye yelps as BJ drives them right through another pothole, the resulting buck of the Jeep almost throwing him right over the side. He braces himself with one hand on the side and one hand on BJ’s shoulder, gripping his friend tight like he’ll be sent flying if he lets go. Honestly, with the roads as bad as they are and BJ’s unique driving, it’s a fair thought to have.”

(Hawkeye and BJ are lost, injured, and without transport behind enemy lines. Inspired by Comrades in Arms, and my one and only multichapter fic)

5. “like a dog”

“There are days Henry wonders if he woke up a schoolteacher instead of a Lt. Colonel.”

(Hawkeye bites Frank and Henry has to deal with it)

6. “things that cry in the night”

“Hawkeye doesn’t tend to sleep through the night. Hasn’t ever since he was shipped out here. It’s something he usually regards with the same bitterness he regards the rest of the war with- it’s just another way the war has changed him, it’s just another annoyance, the list could go on for miles. Sometimes he wakes up to the night patrol being too loud, sometimes it’s to shelling, to Charles snoring, to screaming, to nothing at all.”

(Hawkeye comforts BJ after he has a nightmare, set a couple days after Where There’s a Will, There’s a War)

7. “a good nurse (friend, a good friend)”

“Margaret is reading in bed when someone knocks on her door. She lowers the book, frowning. She wasn’t expecting any company tonight, and she isn’t due in post-OP until the next morning. She gets up and throws her robe over her pyjamas. Perhaps she’s needed after all- there were a few difficult cases today, it wouldn’t be the strangest thing.”

(Margaret insists a very sick Hawkeye stay with her for the night)

8. “chivalry and bloody knuckles”

““That was a stupid thing you did.” Is the first thing Hawkeye says to him once they’re sufficiently hidden away in the supply tent.”

(BJ punches out a marine to protect Hawkeye, and Hawkeye’s not thrilled about it)

9. “leave your roles at the door”

“It’s Margaret who finds him.”

(Radar goes missing after the OR session in Abyssinia, Henry. Margaret finds him, and comforts him, and sits with some of her own grief as well)

10. “petty vengeances”

“Hawkeye is in one of those moods today.”

(Hawkeye’s been menacing Margaret all day and she gets her revenge- with a little help)

Thanks for tagging me!! Pretty much everybody I would’ve tagged has been tagged, so I’ll leave it open for anyone who wants to hop on!

[polyamorouspunk]

I sent a coherent message to that asshole with the polyphobic poll and he didn't even respond, just posted something like "y'all I'm not reading your long messages" lol why do I even bother? Like I've faced much worse hate than this for being poly, it doesn't matter, but can you imagine someone of literally any other sexuality saying "hey what you said is really insensitive to us because xyz" and responding the way they did? Just annoyed by polyamory being seen as lesser than other sexual/romantic orientations :/

Yeah my friend sent one too. Honestly I got a lot of messages to move on from it and I did by deleting all those asks (not sure how answering 20 asks telling me I need to “move on” helps with moving on) but yeah. Got a few “wow you’re so annoying!” Asks which is like mhm yeah that’s not news. Every so often people rediscover that I made this blog after getting fed up of monogamous people speaking over my experiences on my own posts and that this blog was an outlet for my anger issues. Did get a few messages saying that OP had some other issues which I also didn’t post because I’m not looking to dogpile. And honestly I wasn’t even going to defend myself but he just kept posting more and more posts literally answering every single criticism with petty bullshit until I was like alright I need to say something. I get the feeling he doesn’t understand that by posting every single anon and replying to ever single comment to defend yourself you’re only inviting more in. But that’s not on me to speculate.

[levbolton]

It is I, anon from earlier today and I can now in confidence tell you that your fics have broken me down into nothingness.

Not only am I stupid and cannot read tags but I repeatedly let myself be comforted by your writing only to be hit with the sad truth at the end. You can’t keep getting away with this /j .Your style is so unique and I can feel the passion you have for the characters as you can see their inner turmoils on the writings. I love how you bring them to life

My personal favourite is Monologue (which is highly underrated btw). I love the dynamic between Fumi and Maki plus Fumi talking about her day made me smile so much. Then cane the gut wrenching feeling about Maki. Honestly you managed to balance the fluff with the angst out so well and I really adored it.

To conclude this annoying fan’s rambling, you are my favourite blue period writer and such a great storyteller. I know how you’ve stated that the fandom is quite inactive (cause it is) but your presence manages to be so outstanding to me. I don’t know why I was too nervous to follow now but I might as well write my letter of appreciation so it can be covered by the bots.

I hope you are able to continue doing what you love and have a great rest of day. 🙃

thanks op, kinda figured bcs i have emails from ao3 and your usernames match

personally 'monologue' is quite the lackluster for me, i wanted to use the concept, i think i wanted to make it about ytyt with yotasuke that would tell yatora about the summer festival only to reveal at the end that yatora was unconscious the whole time so yotasuke wasn't talking with anyone, i got the idea while working on 'a psychological take' (where i wrote already a summer festival so it felt unnecessary to do it again) and at the same time i wanted to write fumimaki (bcs there's literally nothing for this married couple, almost canon i'd say, more canon than ytyt), so i combined both, i was still in a phase where i wanted to kill all characters and make them suffer which i think i did a lot and now i just want to write them relax and be happy (writing depression is hard), so it's not really that original inside my head, but im glad at least someone else likes it (for me billy of tea was way more fun to think about)

tbh i've been thinking about moving on from blp for quite a few months already but i simply can't find something else to interest me the same way ytyt does, which sucks bcs if i don't write then no one will write stuff, rn i want to finish this fic i'm sorking on (i hope i get to 100k), then a oneshot about ytyt soulmates and another oneshot about miki and ayano only, then idk, i think it would be good to retire (not to be petty actually, but i did write 40% of the words in the yatoyota tag on ao3)

fandom isn't really only inactive, it is now a bit (i continuously try to collect blp fans here and on twt, the more the merrier), but i just felt ignored since the anime was airing, again maybe it was the bad timing bcs i started posting my first fic towards the end of the anime when people lost the interest bcs that adaptation is horrible, then in february yamaguchi had covid and from march to july it was complete hiatus and then the whole dj drama (which i'd lie if i said the mob mentality to drop it didn't affect me too although i was the one to uncover the doujinshis on my own weeks before it got to twitter, anyway my idea was: this isn't a piece of media i care about and i am already deeply in love with blue period so whatever, my respect for yamaguchi decreased and i got a passive aggressive attitude towards her until she posted the new year ytyt picture with bunnies this january, now i seriously don't care abt whatever else she drew - also damn i'm really side railing with this)

thanks again for your support, sorry for the long unnecessary text lmao, i have too much free time

[amatchinwater]

honestly you are so wrong for romanticizing Jeffery Dahmner and i know you know you’re wrong because you turned off your comments. What he did was very traumatic to black and minority people and maybe i’m taking it too personally because one of my mothers friends was a victim of his but you’re wrong and the person who made those gifs are wrong

Haha! Romanticizing Jeffrey Dahmer, that's a good one. Oh, honey, I'm not the fucking one. I'd love to give you the benefit of the doubt here of taking it too personally, but I simply can't. While I am sorry about your mom's friend, that doesn't give you the right to come at me for the absolute wrong thing here.

1. Not my post, therefore I cannot control whether the comments are turned on or not. But given bullshit asks like this, I'm not surprised OP turned the comments off.

2. I'm not romanticizing Dahmer, I'm looking at Evan Peters, an attractive man/actor and very much not literal Jeffrey Dahmer, kissing another man. He just happens to be in his role of Jeffrey Dahmer. That's two vastly different things. If I had Jefferey Dahmer's mugshot up and put heart eyes in the tags screeching about how hot he was, then you can come at me. But don't put words in my mouth and preach to me that I'm wrong when that's not the case.

3. Let's maybe remember to separate actors and their roles. Just because he's playing Dahmer here doesn't make it any less than simply Evan Peters with some glasses on. I even said I shouldn't because I knew he was portraying Dahmer (that's what the "he's literally Dahmer...I shouldnt feel like this" tag was for because I knew that's who he's playing), but I shared it anyways because I realized, at the base of it, I liked it because it isn't fucking Dahmer rather an actor I like!

4. I can't speak for the OP's intentions of the post. If they did it to romanticize Dahmer, then that's on them. Not me, someone who enjoyed watching Evan Peters kiss another man. What Dahmer did was absolutely wrong, I won't deny that. But that has nothing to do with why I shared it. Actually, you know what, I think I can speak for OP because the caption is "Seeing EVAN PETERS kissing another man..." not "Seeing Jeffrey Dahmer".

Also, maybe not everyone knows he's playing Jeffrey Dahmer there and simply saw Evan Peters kissing another man and thought it was hot. I debated on not even answering and just going about my business...but I guess I'm just that petty.

[ichooseviolence]

I’d be more far sympathetic to Rhaenyra getting screwed out of the throne if she a) didn’t disinherit other noble daughters, showing she wants to be an exception to the bad rule of male inheritance, not to change it and b) didn’t try to upend every rule of succession, Andal or Valyrian, by planning to place blatantly obvious bastards on the throne after her. She’s an entitled brat and a bad ruler who still had a v good point about patriarchy, which makes her so much more interesting than the one dimensional dragon girlboss stans see! The Greens are basically Stannis in this situation when it comes to the legality of succession lol, and you won’t find a single ASOIAF reader who thinks Stannis didn’t have the right to declare war on the Lannisters. And I don’t even like Stannis!

I recently saw someone make the argument that while Rhaenyra “occasionally made bad decisions” her cause was a fierce battle against patriarchy, whereas Alicent’s cause did nothing to fight it. Therefore we should support Rhaenyra (OP’s post was actually about sympathy, not support lol.) But it’s like you said, anon, Rhaenyra’s actions contradict that argument. They also argued that her actions after taking the throne were not actually on her, she was just trying to clean up King Aegon’s mess. But the fact is, Rhaenyra earned the title “King Maegor with Teats” because of her own actions. She made little to no efforts in “fixing” anything. Instead she executed people left and right, thus continuing the war.

This isn’t a simple story of “Greens=bad Blacks=good”. Rhaenyra is far from the only victim. There are innocents who suffered from her own wrath. Both the Greens and the Blacks were responsible for petty murders, needless bloodshed, and catastrophic damage to the realm. And while Alicent did definitely become ambitious and a schemer, so did Rhaenyra. Rhaenyra became impulsive and even arrogant. Rhaenyra’s anger is valid, but the way she uses it isn’t. I defend her need to fight for what she believes was rightfully hers, but I defend little else that she did.

And I like your comparison of the Greens and Stannis! Besides Stannis burning people alive 🙄 (may he suffer a worse fate) I definitely think the Greens’ cause is a much more ruthless/destructive version his own. Without the weird red headed preacher lady.

At the end of the day, I always think about the few times GRRM stressed the main tragedy of the Dance of Dragons. The death toll, the damage, the suffering. Not on the Greens or Blacks, but the common folk. They’re always victim of any and all wars. I’m interested to see if the show displays that on screen. I hope they do, they haven’t been shy about displaying other uncomfortable topics.

(Anyway, sorry if this is sloppy or nonsensical. I’m no good at these little essays hehe. And I only recently started getting into the history and lore of asoiaf!)

[tinyspringtrap]

Thin shaming is like white people thinking they can experience racism. Like, you can experience prejudice, but you are not experiencing systemic issues in any way, shape, or form that you do when you're fat. Obviously, both are bad, and you shouldn't shame anyone, but one is so clearly worse. Also, when did OP say that either were okay? Please use reading comprehension...

anon you seem to have confused the definition of racism with the definition of institutional racism, I don't think I'm the one with reading comprehension issues. You literally even just said they can experience prejudice.

Here are the definitions of racism and institutional racism:

rac·ism

prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism by an individual, community, or institution against a person or people on the basis of their membership in a particular racial or ethnic group, typically one that is a minority or marginalized.

Institutional racism

the perpetuation of discrimination on the basis of “race” by political, economic, or legal institutions and systems.

I'm sure this is the point where you'll have a little angry fit about how 'definitions change' despite the fact these things are literally two different definitions entirely, because tumblr hates facts. (The Irish would like a word with you, about your belief that white people have never been institutionally discriminated against btw)

Assuming you haven't stormed off at this point, I'll humour you against my better judgement. Let me start with a question:

would you like to point out where I said OP said it was okay?

Literally all I said is that it's gross to make this shit a competition and minimize other peoples experiences (much like people in the notes are doing to mine because clearly they know more about my own experiences than I do!) based on your own, anecdotal ones and that the attitude of, and I quote directly from the op of the post: "I think skinny people who have never been fat should shut up about who gets body shamed more permanently" is gross as hell.

bet you if it said 'Fat people who have never been skinny' instead ya'll'd be throwing a goddamn fit over it bc it's a shitty sentiment to have - but because it's directed towards thin people, it's somehow okay. It's hypocritical as hell, and I repeat: it is not a fucking competition.

It's not 'worse' or 'better' on one side and the modern day pain olympics people try to compete in are tiring and abhorrent. Stop belittling other people to feel better about yourself. Telling thin people they don't have it as bad as you makes you just as shitty as the people bodyshaming them to begin with. How does telling people their feelings don't matter help anyone?

Stop making it a competition. Bodyshaming is shitty. Period. End of. You cannot measure suffering and it is so fucking petty and childish that people can't just say 'hey, it sucks that you get shamed for something about your body you may not be able to control - I understand how it feels, don't let it get you down.'

It costs literally zero dollars to just be kind to people no matter what size, shape, colour, or whatever. It's literally free. Literally all I have said is that people should just stop trying to one up each other like some sort of sick pain olympics and maybe be a little more compassionate to people who might understand their own hurt in a way that really is not that different.