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silverzoomies · 2 months

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Cunning Linguist

pietro maximoff x reader smut

warnings: cunnilingus, porn with (slight) plot, blow jobs, dissociative identity disorder, dissociation, existential crisis, smut, shameless smut, halloween, canon divergence

word count: 3,990

a/n: i meant to finish this ages ago. but i always overthink shit. i rewrote this several times, and it still doesn't feel worth posting. oh well !! just meaningless filth - same old story, different clothing. i wanted to play with the concept of pietro as an alter in ralph's head. again. lol

he's a little ooc here. but i'm blaming the brain fog. i'm running on three hours of sleep every night. fuck it, we ball. also, not including a tag list because tumblr's system kinda sucks for it. sorry !!

Pietro recalled the moment his consciousness came to light.

Agnes waved her spooky hands in his face, as though she were taunting him. She muttered incantations under her breath. The words of which Pietro didn’t recognize as English. After implanting sentimental memories in his mind - based on stories of Wanda’s childhood - she sent him off on his own. Like letting a dog loose, free to roam.

Pietro’s mission? Find Wanda, have a gabfest or two, extract information. Or something along those lines. Pietro hadn’t paid much attention while Agnes yapped about it. Why focus on that, when the mystery of his own sentience piqued his interest instead?

He was given an easy enough job to do. No problem-o. Pietro had a talent for pestering people til’ they cracked. That’s what Agnes told him, anyway. He wasn’t too sure why she wanted him to play undercover rat. It had something to do with magic. Pietro knew that much. There was some kinda witch-on-witch rivalry in the works. But unfortunately for Agnes - and maybe fortunately for Wanda - she might have to take a raincheck on her duel of the sorceresses.

Pietro could be a bit of a dipshit. Was he stupid? Not so much. He had brains where it counted. He could be crafty. Even sneaky. But his expert level slyness didn’t make him any less of an idiot. Pietro couldn’t refute that factoid about himself. Around Wanda, he forgot how to function like a normal person. Which he blamed on the fact that he wasn’t a normal person. Being brutally honest with himself; Pietro technically wasn’t even a person at all.

More like a conceptual incarnation of human sentience, really. Simple enough.

No ifs, ands, or buts about it, though - Pietro carried the irksome flaws of a human. Often, he acted thoughtless when he didn’t mean to. Without filtering himself first, Pietro unapologetically spoke his mind. He’d drop fourth-wall breaking quips here or there. Sometimes, his careless habits made for entertaining slip ups. Perfect for sitcom shenanigans. Other times, his blunders resulted in pain. Lotsa pain.

Halloween night, Pietro found himself whisked away by a forceful wave. Conjured by Wanda’s potent magic. The same power Agnes wanted her wiggly witch fingers on. After going aerial in a wild whoosh, Pietro got up close and friendly with some Halloween decorations. But, hey, what’re a few broken bones between pseudo siblings, eh?

Wanda sure had a helluva temper. She quickly banished Pietro from ever setting foot in her house again. Talk about a major bummer. Pietro suffered a huge loss on that front. One part because he’d have no choice but to crash with Agnes again. Ninety nine parts because he’d miss his troublemaking nephews. Those fun, lil scamps.

Tough luck, Quickie. Try and do better next time.

Honestly, he’d prefer if there wasn’t a next time. If Agnes wanted to make small talk so bad, she could do it on her own. Calling it quits for the night, Pietro wandered off to a Westview bar. To his surprise, he found the place still in operation. And despite Pietro’s memories - vague imagery of Busch beer cans crushed under his fist - he hadn’t had a beer since his consciousness manifested. Shit. Did he even like beer? Whether he cared for it or not, a subconscious instinct drew him to it.

He assumed that instinct was none other than Ralph himself. The poor dude wanted to drown his terror in alcohol. And after all the twisted shit Agnes put Ralph through; who was Pietro to deny him one of life's simplest pleasures?

The mellow atmosphere of the bar oozed Halloween spirit. Kinda unnecessary, in retrospect. Considering Wanda never stopped by for a drink. Why bother sprucing the place up with her wispy magic, if it never saw any use?

The bartender’s clever quips reminded Pietro of Cheers. Another totally bonkers concept. Pietro had memories of watching Cheers, sure. But he couldn’t decipher if they were Ralph’s or not. For all Pietro knew, they might be a part of the ‘dead brother’ package deal. False memories, meant to give Wanda someone to relate to. Making him liable to tear down her defenses when she least expected it.

But why did Pietro get the sense he was more of a Frasier guy anyway?

Sitting at the bar on a rickety stool, Pietro spun around to satiate his boredom. He cradled a beer, inhaling all of it in a single beat. Superspeed really did have its ups and downs. Consider quick consumption a positive. As far as negatives go…well…inebriation was completely unattainable. Sucks for Ralph. As Pietro flagged down the bartender for another beer, he tuned his ears to a radio broadcast. On a shelf amidst dollar store Halloween decor; a radio droned old fashioned tales of wicked witches. Subtle.

Outside interference interrupted the broadcast. Voices intermingled between buzzes of static. Whispering soft, but panicked mantras of 'Wanda? Wanda, are you there?' Pietro narrowed his beady eyes. His ignorance of the world outside Westview should’ve stayed intact. But whatever the reason, he knew exactly where those voices came from. Why he carried such knowledge was anyone’s guess. Maybe Agnes let too much her own insight slip into his psyche. Whoopsies. Oh well. Shrugging, Pietro flagged down the bartender for another beer. Deja vu.

Bored outta his mind, his thoughts explored elsewhere.

Pietro dreamt of something a little more down to earth. He remembered a cutie-pie neighbor new to Westview. A ‘next door’ kinda type, with a quirky sorta charm. They had no idea why they were in the city to begin with. Pietro knew these details, only because he gathered the what’s what on just about every person in town. It took him all of two seconds to do so. Zip around. Observe. Make mental notes. Report back to Agnes. Spill the deets.

Anyway, about you…

Call it a crush, loneliness, or even instinctive lust; whatever the case, Pietro thought you were cute as could be. You didn’t remember how you got to Westview, or where you even came from. One day, you woke up in town, and found yourself wearing unfamiliar clothes. Threads evocative of decades long past. But hey, it happens to the best of us. Pietro was well-acquainted with feelings of confusion and alienation. That mingled sense of being both lost, and born anew.

For crying out loud, he was the very materialization of sapient awareness itself. Agnes forbade him from that knowledge as well. But again, Pietro credited his oopsies and ding-dongs to her shoddy miracle work.

Whenever you questioned the reality around you, the world only stifled you into silence. The everyday citizens of Westview seemed so content with life as it was. Acting as if you had nothing to worry about. Wanda’s sitcom setup was nothing beyond sunshine, rainbows, and television tropes. But Pietro could see the unspoken terror hidden deep in their eyes. The truth Wanda kept hush hush.

Just thinking about it was enough to give Pietro the heebie jeebies. And if his intuition was anything to go by - it never proved him wrong yet - you had a bad feeling about Westview too. Way to go! You caught on even quicker than he did. Which was kinda nuts, if he thought about it. Wasn’t he supposed to be the fastest at everything? ‘Cuz speed was his middle name or something. Or…well, it wasn’t. But it could be. Who’s to stop him from seizing his own destiny at this point?

Pietro Speed Maximoff.

Eh, maybe not.

In Westview, you had no friends or family. And much like Pietro, on Halloween night; you found yourself at the bar. He caught your curious gaze from down the counter. You were dolled up in a scanty, witch's dress, leaving Pietro to wonder why witches were such a recurring theme in his life. Looking too much like a manchild goober, he spun around a few more times in his seat. His sneakers kicked against the stool’s railing. No matter what, he couldn’t sit still. He thought he might be embarrassing himself. But his antics appeared to make you smile even brighter.

Tilting your head, you shot him a look of familiarity.

You weren’t familiar with him, though. But there was a chance you saw him appearing and disappearing around town. During his impromptu stake outs, more than likely.

Bringing your drink to the seam of your lips, you stifled a playful giggle. It was obvious you were gawking at his costume. Arching a brow, Pietro grinned into the rim of his beer bottle. To be fair, he looked supremely ridiculous. The blue tights under his cut-off jean shorts rode up in the crotch a little too much. He dipped his head, staring at the frayed edges of his shorts. Yeah. It was clear he did the job cutting them himself. A hasty one too. Since he was too eager to pull pranks with his nephews.

Damn. Pietro missed those kids like hell already.

The dirty blond hair/ear-things atop his head bounced every time he knocked his neck back. As Pietro downed yet another beer, he lost track of how many he drank. A dribble of it plummeted into silver. Creating a sheen against the lightning bolt duct taped diagonally down his shirt. Pietro sighed and pursed his lips.

His outfit was an all blue ensemble. Garnished with a spritz of silver here or there. Quicksilver. His hero name, apparently. Pietro knew he’d never live up to it.

A bit of friendly conversation later, and the air between the two of you shifted. Your playful look morphed into something a little wanton, the more Pietro acted in silly ways. Holy shit. Seriously? He hoped he wasn't misreading your signals. Because really, your attraction was too good to be true. If you honestly wanted him, where should he proceed from here? How much freedom had Agnes even allowed him? And furthermore - if Wanda’s happy, dream town ran on a curated schedule; what if credits rolled just as the two of you finally got handsy?

Maybe sitcom rules didn’t apply to conscious manifestations of witch hocus pocus? Wishful thinking on his part.

Outside the bar - in an alleyway too uncannily clean, like a set straight out of Hollywood - Pietro beckoned you in with kisses. Technically, he played the role of Agnes’s deadbeat husband. And if that were the case, did kissing you count as cheating? Shit…was Pietro committing adultery right now?? In the midst of macking on your sweet lips, he pressed a palm to the wall next to your head. Pietro pretended to do so for balance, as he devoured you with his mouth and tongue.

But unbeknownst to you, he cracked an eye open. Just to double check for a wedding band.

Nothing there to prove he ever got hitched. Go figure.

You giggled coyly into his lips, letting a soft moan ease through your teeth. Bringing your hands up to the hair/ear-things on his head, you toyed with them. Your pretty voice teased him, as you played with his hair in gentle strokes of your thumbs.

“Ooooh…such a good boy, huh? Fast too.” You cooed, the same way one might praise a puppy.

Oh. Fuck yeah. To hell with sitcom tropes and bogus wives. Agnes scared the ever-loving shit out of Pietro anyway. He had no semblance of a domestic connection to her. Not that she gave much of a damn herself. With how often she threw insults his way. Agnes always used Ralph as her little punching bag, before hijacking his body for her own gain.

No wonder your simple praises got his proverbial tail wagging.

A chuckle hummed in the back of his throat, as Pietro purred into your lips, “Speed’s kinda my middle name, y’know?”

You snorted one of the dorkiest laughs he’d heard since cognisant birth. And with a sudden spark of primal urgency; Pietro felt something else spring into transcendence down below.

Sifting through Ralph’s sidelined psyche, Pietro came to realize how much of a recluse he was. The guy never seemed to get out much. In fact, Agnes might’ve even been his first partner. If one could classify her as such. So, really, Pietro was doing him a major favor. If Ralph knew he planned on using their body for some frisky fun - on an otherwise lonely Hallow’s eve - surely, he’d give his brain roomie some thanks.

Pietro’s hands were vascular like a wired-up machine, clad in arm-warmer paws. Grabbing hard onto your curvy hips with them, he pulled you in closer. He sought the friction of your crotch against his. And after some seriously sloppy making out, Pietro dropped you an invite to his place.

Or…Agnes’s place.

Uh…or…was it technically Ralph’s? Shit, this sitcom roleplay sure gave way to some mental gymnastics.

You didn’t expect Pietro to zip you off at superspeed. Moving abruptly fast, he brought you straight to his disaster of a man cave. Laying you back on the futon, he gave you little time to adjust over the blankets. The wrinkled fabrics reeked of pot, in desperate need of a wash. You got as comfy as you could on the skunky sheets. Blinking your needy gaze up at him, you tugged his white belt, pulling the band undone. Pietro grinned lazily, colliding his swollen lips into yours. His primal instincts left him wreckless with want.

Burying his tongue in the cavern of your mouth, he brought with him the flavor of cheap booze. As you tasted him, you moaned, shucking his dumb jorts down his hips. A sizable swelling twitched in his tights, squirming under muted blue. Your eyes bulged in their sockets, cartoonishly wide. The way you whirled your tongue across your lip gave off a vibe of animalistic hunger. As though you were eager for an all dick dinner. With Pietro as the appetizer.

And the main course. And the dessert. He hoped you'd rate him five stars.

Restaurant metaphors aside; this was the very first test of his capabilities as a lover, after all. If he couldn’t live up to his superhero name, maybe he could make a name for himself in other ways.

Pietro Speed Maximoff. Quicksilver. Cunning Linguist.

But first…he really should satiate your hunger.

One, generous tug downward, and Pietro’s - or Ralph’s - slightly above average length sprang out. Bouncing in your face in mesmerizing oscillation, his cock appeared pulsating and roused. Thick veins weaved like threads through his shaft, akin to his vascular hands. His balls bulged in his tights, his jorts hanging halfway down his thighs. Pietro took his blistering cock in hand. Aching for the kind of stimulation Ralph never got, his desire painted him so flush and ruby red.

Since you looked so delighted at the sight before you; Pietro gave his cock a few strokes. He played with himself for your viewing pleasure. And as his firm grip tugged his shaft, the world pulled suddenly back. It was as though Pietro viewed life through a third person perspective. Metaphorical cameras fixed their lenses on the two of you, in an all too human position of closeness.

The weight of a cock in Pietro’s hand felt both familiar, yet weirdly foreign. Combine that with the sight of another living, breathing body below him; and his nerves buzzed uncomfortably. Frenzied in such a way that matched the quick pulsing of his heart. Focusing instead on your fluttering eyes, Pietro weaned himself out of dissociation. Your hands braced his hips, thumbs circling the fabric of his tights. The gentle gesture brought chills throughout his body. Inching forward, you teased his bobbing cock with a flick of your tongue.

Wet heat grounded him in reality. Upon racing to the forefront of his own mind; Pietro’s breath hitched with a husky groan. He held your head, massaging his fingers in your soft hair. Cute mewls spilled from your lips as you flitted your eyes shut. Swirling your tongue over his cock’s puffy head, you lapped any tearful pearls of precum. His thickness sank between your plush lips, and Pietro’s own lips parted for breath.

Of all things to happen on Halloween night, getting his dick sucked wasn’t on the docket.

Not that Pietro had any reason to complain. This? Wicked awesome. Ralph was really missing out.

You drew lazily back just to lap his balls over his tights, staining fabric with slick saliva. Rolling the tip of your tongue up the underside of his dick, you giggled in that dorkish way again. Pietro’s teeth pulled his lip as he tilted his head back. His dick twitched, throbbing while the heat of your mouth embraced him fully. He moaned, smiling wide enough to show off his dimples. You pumped his cock at the base, teasing his veins with your tongue.

Pietro’s brows turned inward. You suckled his head like you longed to guzzle anything he could give. He sank his fingers deeper through your hair, holding on tightly as he rutted his hips. With each slam of his weeping tip into your throat; he hoarsely grunted. You really did try your best, just for him. Even as tears spilled down your cheeks and your lips began to swell. Plush and puffy, circling his slick length. Pietro kicked up the speed at which he rutted.

Fighting his instincts, he was cautious enough not to choke you. Or, he wanted to be cautious. He braced his hands on both sides of your tear stained face, his arm warmer paws soft against your cheeks. Sinking his dick even deeper between your lips, he accidentally went balls deep. The wet fabric of his tights smothered your chin. You sputtered on his cock, which made your throat wring him so tight. As your tongue curled, sliding under the thrum of his veins; Pietro cursed. Playful chuckles and shameful apologies fell from his lips.

Bitter heat coated your tongue in sweltering jets, thick and explosive down your throat. Pietro’s groin twisted in a blossoming surge of pleasure. And as he ruptured your esophagus with his sticky load, he found himself that much more grounded. As if such a bombastic nut somehow tethered him to reality - securing Pietro from any further derealization.

Righteous. His first big O since Agnes blessed him with the gift of consciousness. Significantly more electrifying than any sad, jerk sesh Ralph had in the past. And since you so humbly took him like a champ - giving Pietro a most euphoric experience; he saw it fit to return the favor ASAP.

Neither Pietro - nor Ralph, it seemed - had any experience toying around with partners. But he did have a vague knowledge of how to do so. Thanks to the backlog of not-so-safe-for-work memories deep in his subconscious. Raunchy porn, mostly. Magazines. Tapes. Jesus, Ralph…why’s there so much dirty stuff in there, huh? Lots and lots of it. Pietro would have to do his own research later.

He gave you no time to prep for his oncoming nose dive. Perched on your knees, coughing and clearing your throat - you found yourself abruptly resting on your elbows. Your upper back pressed into the futon. Pietro lifted your hips, using his strength to hike your thighs over his broad shoulders. As you parted your swollen lips to protest, blinking your reddened eyes; Pietro pulled your panties to the side. He kept the soaked lace pinned under a thick thumb. Burying his lips in your cunt, he lapped up your honeyed heat.

A sudden addiction, triggered by something carnal, overtook him instantly. Pietro became hooked on your fragrant flavor, swirling your cute bud in high-speed circles. He worked your stiff clit like a microscopic joystick, flicking wet heat in a spastic whirlwind. Alternating between drawing patterns, and sucking your precious pearl hard. Pietro so easily made you squeal - even without any prior experience - until you scratched your fingernails deep into Ralph’s sheets. Kissing your cunt, he let his thirst take over, and dove deeper.

The tune of his name melting through your moans made him wish the night would last forever. A small fraction of him hoped Ralph would never take over again. If consciousness offered rewards this scrumptious, Pietro wanted to stay sentient into eternity. Not to be selfish or whatever, but he almost considered playing minion for Agnes again - if only to secure the lifespan of his psyche.

Your supple, pussy lips parted as he wormed his tongue through your slick walls. Smooth, bumpy heat squeezed the fuzzy ridges of his tongue. In milliseconds, your fluttery love gushed over his taste buds and leaked down his chin. Tears teased the edges of your eyes. You cried whines of sugary bliss. Pietro’s thumb kept your panties pinned, his other hand locked around your thigh.

He smirked into your pussy, deep chuckles burning hot on your mound. And since the position wasn’t exactly the most comfortable; he allowed you some reprieve. Pushing you past your breaking point at light speed, Pietro bashed the sopping slickness of his tongue into your clit. You trembled, shuddering through powerful waves of orgasmic intensity. White-hot flashes of light flooded your vision. Under Pietro’s zippy tongue, your sweet pussy quivered.

Totes mcgoats. If he learned anything tonight - aside from the obvious lessons in subtlety; Pietro now understood why the everyday man lost his doggone marbles over puss.

After your first release, he eased your tired body into the futon. Your back met cozy blankets, engulfed in that skunk weed scent. Before you relaxed, he edged you even longer, drawing out your pleasurable suffering. Pietro sank his fingers deep into your heat, pumping the length of them inside you. His digits curled perfectly, finding every spongy spot that made your core burst with a desire to cum again. His tongue teased your swollen nub until you grabbed at his hair. You mussed the funny looking ear things atop his head, pressing your palm into his forehead to try and push him back.

You begged him to stop. Pleading in disoriented whimpers, your noises went straight to his limp dick. A few more hot, wrathful waves of pleasure later - he finally stopped. Only after your cunt erupted in one more, wet burst. You leaked like a fountain into his lips, soaking his chin, even making a mess of his makeshift costume. More than worth it. Pietro sat up on the futon, admiring his handiwork. He wiped his mouth with one of his arm warmer paws. Your mouth fell agape as your lungs begged for air. More tears sparkled on your flushed cheeks, mirroring the twinkle of your pussy. Pretty as a rose in a rainshower.

With your sluggish arms, you gestured for Pietro to climb over you. And once he did, you pulled him into a lazy kiss without a single care. You paid no mind to the taste of your sweetness on his lips, or the scent of your musk on his chin. Sleepily blinking, you bravely asked if you could stay the night. Too tuckered out to even consider a long walk back home.

Pietro could just as easily speed you over to your place. But even at the risk of his not-wife catching him in bed with someone else - he felt too adverse to loneliness. Besides...your company brought him more delight than he ever expected of anyone. Settling into the futon, he popped on Ralph’s old TV set.

Cheers was on. Pietro snickered to himself, rolling his dark eyes.

“What’s wrong?” You asked, snuggled up against Pietro’s strong form. He’d changed clothes at some point in the night, finally foregoing the tights. Oh, and he lended you one of Ralph’s shirts too. A Grateful Dead t-shirt, of which you were very grateful. Hah, “You don’t like Cheers?”

Pietro shrugged, sipping a beer. A Busch beer. He scowled at the taste, curling his lip.

“Eh. More of a Frasier kinda guy.”

#peter maximoff x y/n #peter maximoff x you #peter maximoff x reader #pietro maximoff x reader #pietro maximoff x you #peter maximoff #pietro maximoff #wandavision #txt #sorry for dropping this in the main tags !!

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cosmicdebaser · 4 months

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okay but succession should have gone on for 11 seasons like some 70s sitcom. i would’ve watched that shit OBSESSIVELY like just imagine 11 seasons 22 eps a season worth of tomgreg baiting. tomgreg getting progressively more deranged reaching saltburn levels of tom licking up greg’s bathwater or whatever the fuck until finally the series finale ends with tom and greg about to fuck and then. sopranos style hard cut to black.

#succession #tomgreg

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ot3 · 16 days

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tangentially related to 30 rock... i just finished watching girls5eva because its the level of sitcom that's fine for me to watch while working and someone brouht it up in my inbox a week or so ago. but when i saw the tiny fey EP credit i was like ahhh okay that makes sense.

showrunner of girls5eva was meredith scardino who was a writer on kimmy schmidt, which also tracks. the 30 rock dna is really trickling down through those shows and i can't tell if its getting weaker as it goes or if its just that since this style of humor is no longer novel it doesnt hit as well

girls5eva was fine i watched the whole thing (i accidentally started on season 3 and did not realize until it was finished. i dont know why netflix decided to start this show at season 3 for me when i hadnt watched the previous ones?) and it definitely had some funny moments but i felt it just like it wasn't quite getting where it needed to humor-wise for me. like all of the ribbing about the horrible misogyny and shit that was just Everywhere in the 00s was fun but i think over all just nothing about it was fresh in a way it would have needed to be to make the show stand out

i never finished kimmy schmidt but i do remember it being pretty funny. havnet watched it since the first few seasons were originally airing, maybe ill go back and do that to compare. but theres also something to be said for how much shorter every show has to be now. girls5eva is 3 seasons with 22 episodes total (dont know if its getting a 4th but it's still listed as 2021- on everywhere), kimmy schmidt was 4 seasons with 51 episode. meanwhile 30 rock had 7 seasons and 139 ! episodes. that's a pretty fucking significant difference. so it may be that just having more leeway to throw spaghetti at the wall gives you the chance to be funnier.

im not exactly tapped in to the sitcom market but i feel like it's been probably around a decade since we've gotten a new one that's really managed to produce what i view as stand-out and novel humor. definitely the best one since 30 rock has been community, but i also do think brooklyn 99 managed to really nail a lot of good Bits even if the way it made people act was intolerable a lot of the time. captain holt you will always be famous. but other than those 2 i don't think anything really groundbreaking has been done in the US sitcom landscape since the aughts

im sorry abbott elementary stans its perfectly enjoyable television but it's just like Doing a Parks and Rec again which was in turn Doing An Office But Twee itself.

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clouds-of-wings · 3 months

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Ugh, Missy has to "take over" and "step up" and "play the mommy role" and everyone's acting like it's cute when she's actually getting parentified to hell and back. I already wrote last season about how Missy bears the brunt of all the dysfunction in the family, but now it's reaching an entirely different level. Why does a 13 year old have to play the mommy? Dad can't do it? Grandma can't do it? Even Mandy, who's 30, can't do it? No, the youngest non-baby in the house has to shoulder all the responsibility so everyone else can keep being immature and childish. And don't tell me they're all just broken up about the tornado. First of all, Missy is probably just as stressed by it as everyone else except for Connie, and secondly - they knew well in advance Mary was going away. Did they not make plans for who was going to do the work of the woman who single-handedly kept the house tidy, kept everyone fed, decided all disputes and made everyone do their chores?

I'm (obviously) not saying she should not be expected to help out in the household and pick up some of her mother's chores (as should everyone else), but the way she has to basically do everything, coordinate everything and force everyone else to help her isn't good. Also, the whole thing would be a lot less bad if all the emotional tension in the family weren't an element in the plot. A teen girl doing more in the household than normal for a few months isn't that bad. A teen girl who already keeps apologizing for having emotions, who is already struggling with the family situation, having to coordinate the household of the people who refuse to give her any care is bad. At the very least they should have distributed the tasks in advance, when Mary was still there.

The thing is, just like Missy's arc last season, this is a very realistic way for things to progress in a family that's falling apart - all the emotional and organizational burden is being shouldered by the only daughter. Mary is well-established as caring mostly about Sheldon, George is well-established as the stereotypical sitcom dad who has a good heart when it's easy but tries to get out of household work whenever he can, to have as few responsibilities as possible, only being forced to cosplay an adult by his boss and his wife. Missy, as I said in my other post, is established to be perceptive, sensitive and socially attuned and it makes total sense that she would slip naturally into the mommy role when no one else picks up the slack. What bothers me is how this is portrayed as cute or natural. Missy is 13 and has enough problems already. Life forcing her to take care of people who don't seem to give a shit about her - and just to point this out once more, everyone except for the baby is WAY older than she is - will make things even worse for her.

Narrator Sheldon said last season that Missy kept sneaking out at night that summer despite promising not to, that she secretly got a piercing - her life is very taxing for her, no one shows her any care or understanding and having to take over all household duties on top of that is breaking her emotional back.

Really, I will link the parentification thing once more just so that maybe 1% instead of 0.5% of people click it.

#young sheldon #missy cooper

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adudelolwriting · 27 days

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true hate's kiss for chodark mayhaps????? please????? i think it'd be hilarious?????

-✨

oh my GODS this one started kicking my ass at the end . its OKAYYY i dont think its the best but whatever they cant all be winners am i right chat (sitcom laughing) . anyways here you go sparkle anon, hope you enjoy !! (ask game here)

~~~~~~~~~~

Dark had a curse.

Chosen knew this — the curse was to take Chosen's life. Chosen knew the risk of saving Dark, and then helping her. Chosen knew that, one day, the curse, the mission code, would act up, and Chosen would have to fight.

So, the two fought. Dark always apologized once she snapped out of it (typically after getting the shit knocked out of her), and Chosen always was there to help dress her wounds.

But… as the years went on, and as they retired, or settled down, or whatever you called it, Dark just got more and more antsy. Secretive.

Dark revealed his plan on a regular Wednesday afternoon. "We can take revenge, Chosen! We can finally make Him hurt, like He hurt you!"

"...No. You don't want this, Dark. I don't want this."

"But I did this for you! We can attack the Cursor that hurt you!" Dark gestured to the massive laser machine in front of her.

Chosen shook Chosen's head. "No. We're done with this, with hurting sticks, remember? We agreed."

"But He's not a stick!"

"No." Chosen's arms crossed, and Dark looked pissed. "I did this for you!" He repeated, and then he dove for the button. Chosen leaped to him, grabbing him and pulling him away from the button. The two fought, anger burning through Chosen.

How dare she, try and do this? Who does she think she is, trying to do this to them?

Dark wiggled out of Chosen's grasp, and hit the button. What looked like a nuke launched into the sky, breaking through the Outernet's sky and into an IP — One that Chosen knew too well. Before Chosen could think properly, Chosen blasted Dark through the wall in the house, and flew after the bomb.

Chosen had to spend a few days on Alan's PC. The… Virabots hurt Chosen — much more than Chosen thought they could have. Deep, long wounds were littered on Chosen's body, and something was preventing Chosen from healing as quickly as Chosen should.

Alan had some new sticks, apparently. Another hollowhead, named The Second Coming (of Chosen?), and a few regular sticks that looked like they came from Stick City, but more brighter. Noogai3 didn't tell them anything, because of course He wouldn't, but after just one look from Second, Noogai caved and told them everything.

Chosen has been spending most of Chosen's time in a weird, strangely blocky house on the PC. Noogia couldn't see Chosen from the inside, so it was better, even if He promised not to hurt Chosen and had apologized to Chosen.

But the thing was, Noogia shouldn't have to apologize, because He should have never done that to Chosen. The stick was bitter and spiteful towards the cursor. Chosen hated him. But there were also sticks here.

(Innocent sticks that nearly died because of Dark's revenge. Revenge Chosen never wanted.)

Chosen wasn't healing.

Yes, the bleeding stopped, but the wounds themselves would not heal. Blue, who was apparently the second oldest behind Second aerself, had put an IV into Chosen's arm as Chosen's presents turned the first level of this building into a makeshift infirmary. The kid explained that it's from a game, and it's supposed to help healing.

Chosen was grateful for these children helping Chosen. Tensions seemed tense — Chosen hopes it wasn't always like this, but who knows with Noogia.

The past few days, they talked to Chosen. A lot. It seems they've never been off the PC before, and were curious about Chosen's life. Chosen willingly told them the non criminal things, mostly what Chosen did in retirement.

Currently, Chosen was chatting to Blue, who was checking on Chosen's wounds, when a loud crash came from outside of the building. Chosen flinched — Chosen still wasn't used to all the noise the kids made — before screams rang through the room. Both Chosen and Blue froze.

Blue rushed out, telling Chosen to stay where Chosen was. Rolling Chosen's eyes, the IV gets ripped out of Chosen's arm (Ow.) before Chosen walks out of the building.

"Dark?!" Chosen shouted, seeing the bright red stick flying in the air with flames surrounding her fists. "What the fuck?"

Dark, upon seeing the stick figure, dropped to the ground, charging at Chosen. Chosen let out an "oomph", unable to defend against Dark's attacks. Dark never really hurt Chosen before — not physically, not leaving welts or cuts or bruises. But the Virabots left every cut and scratch and scar on Chosen's body.

The kids screamed in the background, trying to pull Dark off of Chosen, but it was no use. Dark was cursed.

Dark was cursed, and Chosen was tired. Chosen was just able to keep Chosen's arms up, shielding Chosen's face. After a moment of debate, Chosen grabbed Dark's face. It startled her, as her face was pulled down, and Chosen kissed her. "I'm sorry," Chosen muttered, and Dark stayed still, frozen. "I'm sorry that I could never help you."

"I… what?" Dark asked, blinking his eyes. They… they were normal again. Not full of ones or zeros that overtook his eyes when the mission code took over his body. "Why…" Dark's voice trailed off, a hand reaching to his lips.

#adude.writes #adude.requests #sparkle anon #animator vs animation #the dark lord #the chosen one #blue ava #kinda? pretty brief #noogia3 (mentioned once again)#chodark #shipfic #injuries #AHHH i hope this is okay . its like 4am rn and i dont have the energy to reread/edit it so #fuck i was gonna queue this for the morning but i accidently posted it early #oh well ill queue a morning reblog here + main acc

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nextstopwonderland · 11 months

Text

Masterlist of BCC related (mostly) audiovisual content I’ve posted*

*bc we archive shit up in this joint

(Newly pinned post. If you came looking for my ofmd Taika/Rhys masterlist, it’s here)

Here be general BCC & BryanMox content.

Broken out additional individual pages (because I keep hitting the links limit) are here:

Bryan & Wheeler content

Bryan & Nigel content

Bryan and Claudio content

Just Bryan

Bryan/ZSJ timeline/primer

Fannish content (fic/mixes/graphics)

Masterlist of fanvids/fancams

Please do not repost any of my video or photo edits anywhere else.

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Blackpool combat club - general

Graphics

(Alt version)

(Original post)

Video clips

Mox discusses Wheeler doing the Super Juniors

In which I discover the bcc full house vid

Wheeler discusses Mox & Bryan helping him with promos

Wheeler discusses texts with Mox & Bryan

Claudio discusses the bcc

Mox puts over the BCC

Wheeler discusses being good enough for the BCC with Renee

“The BCC is so close”

the BCC is all about escalation!

“Nigel’s awesome” - Yuta talks Nigel McGuinnesss + the BCC

Claudio swings Nana & Yuta dances

Claudio swings Nana again & this time he dances

“They beat me into the ground.” - Yuta’s promo ahead of facing Shibata

Wheeler’s second Shibata promo

There isn’t just a group chat, there’s a BOOK CLUB

“Blackpool combat club has plans in Japan.” - Mox talks Bryan & BCC

"Guess what? BCC? We don't take that shit." Bryan announces BCC is coming to Arena Mexico (and calls out Blue Panther)

Claudio & Yuta being protective after Bryan’s match

The differences in the Mexico City arrivals

Behind the scenes in Arena Mexico

“Im still breathing you’re still breathing” - Arena Mexico post match

Audio clips

Wheeler Yuta podcast compilation

Pre-BCC Yuta on wrestlesplainia

“He’s the oldest young person I know” - the coffee saga continues

Fanvids

Bryan in Charge: a sitcom fanvid set to Charles in Charles

You’re the Final Girl: a babyMox fanvid (includes graphic)

Text

Bryan really loves the BCC (includes photos and lots of Wheeler focus)

Trevor sums up the BCC

Claudio on the BCC (photo/quotes compilation)

Claudio + Coffee (photo/quotes compilation)

Claudio + BCC merch

They did the merch thing!

Claudio envisions Tswift + BCC

“One day he will look and me and Bryan won’t be there.” (Includes photos)

They leveled up on the merch thing

“The BCC book club helps us stay connected” (photo/quotes compilation)

Photos

After the parking lot match

After All Out

Bcc + Edge

Claudio: whatta man

Behind the scenes BCC pics

BCC collision pics

BCC after dynamite

Some 2009 roh photos (includes Bryan, Claudio and Nigel)

BCC pose in Arena Mexico

____________________

Bryanmox

Video Clips (includes DeanDaniel era)

Daniel and The Mountie

Daniel “Yes’s”, Dean giggles

Dean learns the Yes Kick from guest referee Daniel. (better version)

Daniel down with the unscripted violence even back then

Dorky murder club husbands look at toys together

Bryan discusses the thrill of bleeding, which he and Mox share

Bryan discusses BCC birth

Mox praises Bryan

Mox searches for words, uses Bryan’s

Mox discusses being happy with Bryan/BCC after rehab

Daniel Bryan picks Dean Ambrose; Dean reacts

Peace love & pro wrestling

Daniel & Dean tell you how to watch YouTube vids

Post-Grand Slam hugs and belt wrapping

Daniel all about referee Dean

Mox + Bryan + tag team in Seattle? Mox wants it

Bryan Danielson pisses baby Mox off

“I came here to do a favor for my friend Bryan Danielson” - Arena Mexico post match

“One of the best things about Jon is he’s really good at getting behind his opponents”

Video Compilations / Fanvids/Fancams

Daniel-n-Dean: the wwe friends to lovers buddy comedy years

Doin’ it Their Way - the Laverne & Shirley sitcom fanvid

You’re my best friend - Mox making Bryan laugh fancam (screencap inspiration)

Give him a great big kiss - bryanmox famcam

You and Me Song: fanvid

BCC Origins series:

“It’s a real thing/can’t think of a reason to say no” - Bryan and Mox discuss origins of Blackpool Combat club as a shoot (YouTube)

“Sometimes I have to pinch myself” - Bryan and Mox praise each other/discuss similarities (YouTube)

“It very naturally happened” - Bryan and Mox discuss Wheeler joining the BCC

“I’m convinced he’s an alien” - Bryan and Mox discuss Claudio joining the BCC

When Bryan met Jon:

“It just made me want it more” - a meet ugly for the ages (YouTube)

Bryan discusses their first meeting (text quote + video)

Bryan discussing their instant chemistry

Love (Story) at First Fight (fanvid)

_____________________________________

Part 2 of the Bryan & Mox masterlist

#blackpool combat club #aew #bryan danielson #jon moxley #wheeler yuta #claudio castagnoli #konosuke takeshita #bcc #all elite wrestling #bryanmox #sarahs graphics #my masterlists #my mixes #my stuff #Spotify

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look-how-they-massacred-them · 11 months

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Preliminary Poll

Jughead

Submission reason:

They put them in Riverdale. Ok but seriously they way they were portrayed in Riverdale was so against character, so edgy on comparison to the happy go lucky personality that is the staple of his character, and the fact that they entirely erased his asexual/aromantic identity.

They took away the fact that he was aromantic!! Im pissed because he was great rep!! Seriously, reading jughead 2015 was such a personal and relatable experience that i havent found often in media because aro people are overlooked all the time and the rep is ignored for shipping purposes and its even worse that it happened here!! Not only did they erase him being ace, which was STATED IN THE TEXT, but they also took away the way that he was intentionally written to be romance and relationship averse and its just infuriating because he did not deserve this!!! Aro people did not deserve this!!! Im still so annoyed!!!

I will be honest. I have not watched riverdale and I never will. But in the comics. ESPECIALLY THE JUGHEAD(2015) COMICS. HE IS CANONICALLY AROACE. ACTUAL DIALOGUE FROM THE COMIC, OF KEVIN KELLER SPEAKING TO JUGHEAD -> "my romantic options cant take that kind of hit! you just dont get it cause youre asexual..." ACTUAL DIALOGUE FROM JUGHEAD -> "I DONT GET CRUSHES. I just--found her interesting! Its a FRIENDSHIP crush, IF anything." "...And yet, IM the crazy one for not wanting to kiss people. RIGHT." AND NO IF YOURE WONDERING HE DOES NOT END UP TOGETHER WITH THE PERSON HES TALKING ABOUT THERE. HERES HIM TELLING HER -> "I dont GO on dates, Sabrina. I dont like people that way, you know? And when you asked me out, i didnt realize it WAS a date until too late. I shouldve explained the situation, but instead I went along with it, and just kept... you know, trying to escape. And that wasnt fair to you, and im sorry. My judgement was clouded by the fact that, on some primal and fundamental level, all I really want to do is hang out with a giant talking burger. I know that about myself now, and I accept it gladly." <- i will not be giving context for that last part go read the fucking Jughead(2015) comics right now i will GLADLY send ANYBODY who asks a link. Again. I havent seen riverdale. I HAVE however watched a VIDEO ESSAY on it by someone who never read the comics. And the only positive thing they had to say about that damn show was that they thought bughead was cute. Honestly you could put ANY character from riverdale in this bracket because the original comics ARE A FUCKING SITCOM!!!! well the special stories (like Jughead(2015)) arent as sitcommy and are no stranger to Things Getting Fucking Weird but they never had shit like DARK FUCKING BETTY! No. Instead they had MORE WHOLESOME storylines, like ARCHIE GETTING SHOT AND DYING. dude unrelated one of my comic books had an ad for that with the cover that had archie lying there drenched in a pretty minimal amount of blood actually and i was sooooo scared of it as a kid. i was flipping throuhg the book the first time and dropped it and RAN CRYING AWAY it was the most graphic thing i had seen in my entire 7 years of life. sorry these comics mean a lot to me. i have over 300 of them <3

Propaganda:

a vote for jughead is a vote for aroaces. like ME <3

Aro/Ace rights.

#look how they massacred my boy #archie comics #jughead #jughead jones #riverdale #ĺook how they massacred them poll

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youcanseethecosmos · 7 months

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For the actors AU, how famous are the siblings? Is it like recognized whenever they go out or do the different siblings have different levels of public recognition?

This is a really good question !

In terms of "fame" they're all known in a way. They're nepo babies so that's pretty much a given. But since they all have different preferences in their careers, some are more famous than others.

Dream and Desire I would say are the most famous siblings. Dream more so than Desire (which irritates them to NO end).

Death and Delirium come close but they're more well known in the theater scene. Delirium is stuck in a lot of people's minds as that child from that one very popular sitcom back in the day that she tries desperately to erase from memory.

Destiny is the eldest and most WELL KNOWN but he's not as clamored over or bothered by fans as the others. He's built a solid career as a respected producer/director/writer.

Despair is a voice actor and quit acting in front of the camera in her early twenties. People recognize her voice more than her face.

Destruction is recognizable but people only end up putting two and two together when he says smth about his family. He's the least likely to be followed around by paparazzi and shit.

#lights camera action: sky's dreamling actors au #dreamling #the sandman #asks #the endless siblings #thank you for the ask !!

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mamanbou · 9 months

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I've gotta be honest. I have seen the arguments against calling Nandermo "queerbaiting", and I agree with them, but just saying "it's not queerbaiting if they're queer as individuals" willfully ignores that the nandermo shipbait is very revealing of some sinister shit wrt the show's queer rep in general.

It would be one thing if the ship simply didn't happen, but isn't it strange that it's never even entertained textual? They've both dated men, Laszlo and Nandor fuck all the time, queerness isn't a sensitive topic amongst the main cast, so why is the hypothetical of Nandor and Guillermo dating/fucking avoided like the plague (except in the cloak of duplication, which is then never addressed again), despite their notable closeness? Why do they always specify "friend" during dramatic monologues about their relationship in the actual show, while the actors and PR team play mouth service to the ship elsewhere? Why can't we get a single canon explanation as to why these two are off limits to each other in the sexually depraved vampire show?

Did Paul Simms think he was being woke when he called them non-sexual soulmates, the same way every other showrunner does to aggrandize their refusal to portray gay relationships in explicit terms?

Think about how multiple official sources have called Nandermo a "will they-won't they", despite all hints of romantic feelings from either party being 100% subtextual to-date, not even a "you like him, don't you?" from a side character (duplication cloak doesn't count, that was guillermo talking about himself). That shit is unheard of in straight sitcom will they-won't theys. Think about how the Guide being in love with Guillermo was confirmed quite clearly, and how it's a bit that she falls for everyone, but the Guide then spent 2 seasons obsessed with Nadja and it was NEVER stated that it was a romantic thing, despite the show playing into the homoeroticism.

At times, it feels to me like gay relationships are good for sex-based punchlines in wwdits, but the showrunners struggle to consider them in nonsexual contexts. A majority queer cast is great for the show's reputation, great for variety in jokes in a raunchy FX comedy, but the prospect of two male main characters actually consummating their homoerotic dynamic is a carrot on a stick that they never intend to feed us.

I wouldn't have this complaint if official sources didn't wink and nod about nandermo so often. I wouldn't have this complaint if Paul Simms wasn't so wishy-washy on the subject in every interview he'd ever done. I wouldn't have this complaint if nandermo even had ONE scene on the level of laszlo trying to kiss sean, something explaining that Guillermo has tried to make a move on Nandor or vice versa, and here's why it didn't work. But at this point nandermo is genuinely a yuri of absence situation (the absence of the thing is more poignant than its hypothetical presence) and I feel fucking crazy dealing with this in a piece of media where nobody is straight.

#tbis is an insane post but to be fair i am insane #wwdits #wwdits spoilers #nandermo

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betweenblackberrybranches · 1 year

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So i had a terrible night and im gonna rant about it

All with half awake hallucinations (i thought for like 3 hours that i was filming a 5 hour sitcom video essay and my brain generated endless scripts while i was desperatly trying to sleep. But at the same time i was like "no i cant sleep i have the camera all set up and am filming" . At some point a laughtrack started playing in the back)

Was in extreme pain the whole 3 hours too like the worst headache and my whole skin/body felt like it was being ripped apart slowly. Then i took some pain meds after i got out of that fucking video essay state and got myself a coolpad for the headache bc that was some migrain level shit.

Two hours later i woke up in cold sweat and had to change my whole bed sheets because i was literally dripping and everything was just very drenched and bad. I had to dry myself off with a towel. I hated every part of that

Atleast i got like 4 hours of good sleep. I am having a time over here

#i ramble #i am #so tired #and exhausted #but i have to go to the doc in like half an hour #atleast i had some hot chocolate for breakfast and im gonna eat some chicken soup later #i just feel very shit #trying to look at the bright side tho

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yunoteru4ever · 1 year

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Musing about the forbidden appeal of stalkers and how Mirai Nikki's framework benefits the overall love story

Something I think is unspoken about the appeal of... oh, let's politely say off-kilter *cough* love stories such as the one at the center of Future Diary is that, for many people, the idea of having a stalker can sound... appealing? Romantic, even?

Let me explain what I mean in more detail: If you've never truly experienced the horror/stress of having a stalker? The idea of someone choosing YOU to fixate upon as the object of their unyielding love/lust can actually sound pretty nice, in concept. Hell — even moreso if you've never had anyone openly and proudly declare their love for you. The notion of having a stalker can feel VALIDATING, even! The less luck you have in love, the more that discovering you have your own stalker can sound like a weird, wonderful fantasy. Or, shit... even if you're doing just fine in the dating/romance department, imagining someone harboring an undying obsession/devotion can still feel like a massive ego boost.

My point is: When dealing with a stalker is only a distant, abstract and purely theoretical concept, the "horror" side of it can easily fade into the far background. So yeah, I think there's a certain Forbidden Appeal to stalker-romances for many, despite the inherent darkness and danger that could/should logically come with such a thing. (Especially in RL, of course.)

In that context, the way Mirai Nikki's central love story is presented and framed is especially genius. And I say that for two primary reasons:

First reason — Mirai Nikki taps into that Forbidden Appeal partly by giving Yuno an increasingly sympathetic portrayal, but importantly also by placing this unhinged stalker character into a framework where her biggest downsides become comprehensible or even beneficial. Sure, Yuno seems to have a taste for violence and blood, but she's trapped in a goddamn Killing Game where both her own life and the fate of the fucking world is at stake. Furthermore, we later learn there's a ticking clock element that demands the "game" crown a victor ASAP. Against this background, Yuno's violence and darkness becomes, at worst, a bit of evil that's also handily beneficial. And at best? Her behavior becomes totally understandable due to contextual morality. (Besides, it also provides us with a reason to exploit yet another off-kilter romantic concept that can hold a dark appeal for some: the "willing to kill for you"-level love.)

Second reason — Yet in spite of what I just said, Future Diary doesn't shy away (...much*) from the threat inherent to having someone develop an unhealthy obsession with another. Yuno isn't some harmlessly funny sitcom stalker, nor is she the kind of stalker who the narrative fails to ever acknowledge as such in order preserve the "purity" of the central relationship's appeal. Yuki recognizes her as an obsessive stalker from the very beginning! There's no denying that she's violent and clearly dangerous! The fact that she's mentally unstable and therefore seems unpredictable is absolutely core to her character! The story is utterly up-front about these things... and it never lets us forget that, for all that we may feel bad for her or understand her actions, she's still a threat/potential threat to EVERYBODY around her.

Long after it's clear that the bizarre situation makes Yuno's worst traits much more positive, there are still MANY instances when the narrative reminds us of just how much of an unpredictable threat she is to even her supposed allies.

However...

*...I added that "(...much*)" caveat because there are some rare exceptions . A signature aspect of every Sakae Esuno story to date is the way he delights in swerving from the primary horror/suspense/action focus over to sudden bursts of comedy. For that reason, Mirai Nikki is definitely guilty of playing Yuno's stalking as mere 'wacky hijinx' on select occasions — for better or worse. For me, these sudden breaks in the tension are quirky and delightful, but I can understand if individual mileage varies.

All of this is really just me thinking out loud about why the portrayal of such a clearly "problematic" relationship works so well for me and many others. It isn't afraid to confront the inherent problems, but it also provides a (totally unrealistic) framework in which the problems are more tolerable, maybe even acceptable. It makes the stalker sympathetic via the gradual reveal of her backstory, but it also never lets us forget that's she's legit dangerous. And it does all of this while showing us a twisted relationship that might already be oddly appealing to some members of the audience.

Besides, look — Esuno knows this is pretty "out there" stuff. He was once asked if he'd want to date someone like Yuno himself. In that interview, he laughed before replying, "It's probably best we keep that kind of relationship in the realm of fiction." So it's not like he's legitimately recommending that anyone go out and date a crazed stalker. That's part of why the framework has to be SO extreme and SO fantastical for it work so well, IMO.

#mirai nikki #future diary #the future diary #yunoteru #yuno gasai #longreads

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