#this is the weirdest thing I've ever done in my life I think

[yujeong]

VegasPete and Childhood's End: a deranged attempt at connecting two completely unrelated things

Hello there, fellow VP enthusiasts. This post here is my remaining 2 braincells trying to come up with ways the silly, little book known as Childhood's End by Arthur C. Clarke and the silly, little couple known as VegasPete are connected, and how the show chose this book for Vegas to be reading in episode 11 for reasons beyond its title. I swear it's true, I asked Pond, he told me about it, trust me. I said in the tags of this post that I have started reading the book because I have a fic idea I wanted to write (which will happen next year now, after I finish the book), and after I shared my observations on the kindergarten mafia server, I thought to myself why not make a Tumblr post too? So, here I am. I would like to clarify that I will be spoiling major parts of the book, obviously, so anyone who doesn't want to get spoiled, don't read this post and the ones after it. Also, this is the version of the book I bought like 5 days ago from a well-known bookshop at the center of Athens, which sells English books too, bless them. Just so you know what my source is. (Unfortunately, getting the version Vegas was reading might be difficult - if not impossible - in Greece to find, because I believe it's one of the first editions? I'm not sure. Nevertheless, I have the book in my hands, which is what counts.) If I make any mistakes in regards to the information I'll provide about the book, the story and the characters, I apologize in advance. It'll probably be me not being careful enough while reading it and missing sth. So, without any further delay, here we go:

The basic premise of the book is a concept that's become cliche in the recent years: aliens called the Overlords have taken over the Earth, bringing prosperity to it but leaving humans with having no actual freedom in their choices. So, reading up to page 34, we learn that there's a specific Overlord called Karellen who's responsible for ruling the Earth, and we also get introduced to Stormgren who's the intermediary between Karellen and the human race, with the title of "Secretary". At first, I had made the connection of Vegas being Stormgren and Karellen (or the Overlords in general) being Gun, because Stormgren trusts Karellen with ruling the human race, just as Vegas idolizes his father who can totally bring prosperity to the family and make it better by force (an important element since the Overlords just came and declared themselves the rulers of the planet and took over). Also, there's an element of secrecy with Karellen, because it's been 5 years since he arrived on Earth but no one, not even Stormgren, knows what he looks like. This causes Stormgren to be a bit suspicious of Karellen, which he rarely shows and tries to push the feeling down when it resurfaces. In the same way, I thought this could connect to Gun who's hiding stuff from Vegas - Porsche anyone? - which Vegas will start having thoughts about post ep 11. All of that is fine and good, BUT I wouldn't be a Pete girlie if I didn't try to include my boy in this. I think all of the above I mentioned is more about Pete than Vegas. And, judging by how obsessed Vegas became with Pete post ep 10 - after their masks fell off and he saw who Pete truly was - I am confident in my belief that Vegas reading Childhood's End would think of Pete, not himself (sth he already does at this point but you get what I'm saying). SO, Stormgren is actually Pete, who follows Karellen's words almost blindly, and almost is an important word here because in the book, he does argue back about things and is vocal about his opinions, even if Karellen smartly turns them down. Karellen is generally very softly spoken, polite and very human like in the way he talks, so in my opinion he resembles Korn way more than Gun. There's also a character who calls Stormgren out on his blind faith in Karellen, and if this isn't Vegas telling Pete that "there's no such thing as honesty", I don't know what it is. Now, for the fun part: Stormgren gets kidnapped by a group of humans who want the Overlords to leave and not only is the dude semi-casual about it on the surface while keeping his panic under wraps, in the end his captors, after explaining how they got him and what their plan is, throw a pack of cards at him and ask him to play poker with him, which causes Stormgren to laugh like he hasn't laughed in years. I'm just imagining Vegas reading this and shaking his head, putting on his clown shoes, thinking: these guys are so stupid, encouraging their captive be this nonchalant around them, I would never.

[dragonfyre-creations]

I don't think I've ever poured so many of my physical attributes and so much of my heart and soul into a character design before in such a personal way before so fuck it whenever I finish the final design for Faeng and whatever I come up with I'm making her into my sona (dragonsona? Persona? Idk how this works lmfao)

(long dump in the tags and under the cut)

The last time I was even remotely connected this much to a character was when I designed Jaxsu, but honestly never truly made her my sona/main character, she was just the one I used most often in art pieces. I never really actually liked her lore and backstory enough because she was what I wanted to be instead of what I am/was. Jax isnt perfect either, but her parents love her and otherwise has friends and is loved unconditionally. She has a healthy relationship with everyone and everything. This is where the disconnect happened and where I actually started to dislike her despite her being my otherwise favorite character for awhile. Both Faeng and Jaxsu have ADHD and Autism but Jaxsu was able to put that towards a job and becoming a ship captain and winning a colosseum tournament. She's done all of these great things so even if she didn't have a healthy relationship with her parents they'd still love her because she's done something impressive and useful.

Faeng on the other hand, has to fight for everything. Her parents are important and have important jobs, and place all of these unreachable and unrealistic expectations on her and expect her to reach them with minimal effort and be perfect, but she can't no matter how hard she tries. She needs someone to explain it and break it down for her in steps so she understands what do to and how to do it so she doesn't mess it up. She's both strong and smart but it's not in practical "normal" ways or subjects. It's convoluted, It's not in the ways everyone wants her to be, she has no teachers to help her understand how to channel that strength and intelligence into something "useful" so she puts it towards the things she likes and wants to do, and thus struggles in a world that would otherwise be easy to navigate and conquer if she were "normal". Those that do understand her and try to help her are alienated by other people in an attempt to either punish both of them or force her to adapt to be somewhat passing as normal, if not then at least listen to what she's told to do. She does eventually make acquaintances but find that her twisted speech and weird explanations aren't worth trying to decipher and understand so they leave, they don't put in the effort to meet her halfway even though she's struggling and doing her best to speak in a way they'll understand.

Her parents acknowledge her differences but in a way that frames it as flawed and wrong, something that needs to be corrected, and push her to figure out her problems by herself, tearing down any support network she tries to build. She tries her damned hardest but it's not enough, it never is and never will be for them because she's not the perfect child they wanted. She showed promise in her younger years being a "gifted child" so she knows what love and acceptance lies in wait and what could be if she could just be normal and perfect. Her achievements and promise come and show in waves. She burns and fizzles out in one of the most virulent, painful ways possible after getting hurt trying to prove her worth yet again. She holds nothing but criticism, vitriol and contempt for herself because she can't claw her way back to where she was before, this time something happened and something is terribly, horribly wrong this time but she doesn't know that it is and can't figure it out, nor will anyone tell her. Whatever it is, left a mental and several physical injuries and it does nothing but deepen her self hatred and her parent's waning belief in her. She listens to false promises and praise of other people who do nothing but wish to manipulate and harm her but she stays because any form of praise is deemed good, she hungers for more and does worsening things.

She ignores the people who tell her that what she's doing is dangerous and will only end in disaster, because she doesn't believe them. If the people who are saying they're her friends are telling her that the people she hurts deserve it and that what she's doing is good, then surely she needs to believe them over strangers, right? Everything comes to a breaking point and shatters around her leaving her with quite literally nothing but her own self hatred, newfound rage and overbearing mental issues she needs to navigate once again to find out what hell it is and what's wrong with her now. She's scared of everyone and everything with the added bonus of now being hyper-aware and perceptive of people's mannerisms and behaviors, especially those who want to manipulate or harm her again. She wraps every vulnerable part of herself in metaphorical thorns and teeth to bite and maim whoever pries and digs into what she truly is, even people who want to understand her. She suffers at more than her own hand, forcing herself to deal with everything alone, until she finally meets someone that could be considered a true friend. She slowly opens up and helps them as much as they help her before everything comes crashing back down once again upon the reveal that they've been lying to her the entire time about very serious issues, and she's been used as nothing more than an attack dog once again. She burns every bridge and everyone around her in one final breakdown of rage before shutting down completely. One of the groups of friends she's shoved stay comes back and asks if she's ok. She doesn't understand why they're being kind, why they're concerned it why they care and tries to shove them away again. Every single day they still ask, talking even if there's no response from her, until she finally relents and breaks.

She's finally loved and accepted despite every fault and every flaw she has, and every time she tries to pull away out of fear of being an inconvenience they pull back twice as hard and remind her that she's able to just exist, she doesn't need to constantly be useful and that they care. She finally, finally is comfortable enough to let herself be accepted and then becomes the most clingy little shit, just as they do with her. But yeah, my own life has been very much of the same, especially the last part. Every time I go on another self-hatred spiral and drop off the face of the earth my MonHun bros give me a metaphorical slap to the face and remind me that I don't need to constantly prove my worth to everyone and prove that I'm useful, and that existing every once in awhile is more than enough. If that doesn't work then it's "you need to get your ass back over here because we're failing the Safi siege without the absolutely ridiculous amount of DPS your build Switchaxe does". I was not intending for her to be so much like me but goddamnit she's wormed her way into being my favorite now and I guess Mirage is no longer my impromptu sona

[x-liv25-jamieswife]

avery and xander head canons

i've never done this before. hope you guys actually like these (my anxious overthinking brain tells me people will hate it but anyways). if you guys like the hcs and would like more or have suggestions, i'd be happy to take requests (i have nothing to do with my life)

they blast london boy whenever jameson is around ever since it was revealed he's half british

avery and him will spend hours talking about all the wild experiments he's done and funny stories she has from when she was younger

xander makes her funny/cute gadgets and hides them in her room for her to find

avery and him will spend hours just gossiping while watching netflix and doing face masks

xander and her talk shit about people they hate

they're always coming up with ways to prank grayson (they once replaced his entire closet full of suits with lingerie)

when they attended the eras tour (cause they most definitely did), xander fake proposed to her during love story.

they made friendship bracelets

they also had so much fun singing the rep set

ok this one isn't really a xander and avery head cannon but the hawthornes and their girlfriends (+rebecca, thea) has a blast singing anti hero bc of that one verse with the funeral.

they also teased grayson when shake it off started playing

during the vigilante shit performance, xander grabbed a chair and tried to recreate the dance. he forced avery to join along (jameson was simping so hard in the corner)

they also made bets on the surprise songs

last eras tour one, they had so much fun singing bad blood thinking about eve, tobias, sheffield grayson, etc (grayson was secretly also vibing to the song in the background happy that eve got what she deserved (although i believe she deserved worse))

on the day of her wedding with jameson, xander gave her a blueberry scone (his favorite) for the first time to celebrate her officially becoming part of the family

once avery got a slew of hate comments on this one post bc people thought she looked ugly and xander (and jameson) responded and reported every single one of them. xander also came up with the wildest insults you could ever imagine

although xander could literally never hate anyone, he hates anyone who ever does or says anything wrong to avery

sometimes when she's feeling slightly insecure but doesn't want to admit, xander hypes her up like crazy (jameson too)

sometimes avery will go sit in xanders lab whilst he works on his gadgets and reads. he always feels so loved whenever she does this

xander once had a panic attack on his way to an event, and avery cheered him up by ditching the event and bringing him to a bakery to buy scones. they then headed home and watched rom-coms.

they make each other playlists

they love waking each other up in the weirdest ways (xander once woke her up by reading her smut)

they ask each other relationship advice.

xander sometimes gets in this mood where he's convinced everyone secretly hates him. avery always makes him feel better by making scones with super weird flavors.

they once had a fanfic writing competition. avery won bc she wrote smut and xander wasn't expecting it (xander thought it was so good he posted it)

xander once walked in on avery getting dressed. he got so embarrassed he started banging into everything and stuttering. avery likes to tease him about it from time to time. (she wasn't even completely naked, but he was still traumatized)

sometimes when they're at events, they'll sit in the corner and talk about the people there (for example, they'll pick one person and try to figure out how many kids they have, if they're married, etc). xander also has all the tea you could possibly wish for when it comes to the guests (no one knows how he obtains it).

xander knows how much avery hates galas and stuff, so he always comes up with different games to play/things to talk about.

they sometimes go live together and the fans love it (they find their friendship hilarious and people always make compilations of like funny things they've said and stuff).

1/4 of these are literally just eras tour related but eh. i hope these are all original and i'm not remembering some old ones i've seen before not realizing that they've already been made. if some of these aren't, i apologize (i also apologize for any spelling mistakes, i wrote these late at night). anyways i literally love avery and xander's friendship. i actually really enjoyed making these.

i'm thinking of making head cannons for avery and each of the brothers (libby, max and Rebecca too) (maybe even thea though i don’t particularly love her).

i tried to get my friend @catapparently to help, but she came up with the weirdest things like 'xander told avery her toes were crooked so he made her a gadget to wear at night to fix them'

if anyone has requests, feel free to send them to me.

[nocreativityfornames]

The timing and occasion on which MC made the pacts with Lucifer and Belphegor should've been switched and here's why:

SPOILERS FROM LESSON 16 TO 20-14!!

I don't know if anyone has ever posted something similar to this but it's something I've been thinking about it for a while. I've never quite liked the way these two pacts were formed and to me, they were both timed weirdly and overall had little to no weight on the story, which sort of irritates me in a way.

I think our pact with Lucifer should've taken place at the party where MC was celebrated instead of the end of the season, it would've been much more meaningful that way and left way more impact than the disaster of a scene that lesson 20-14 was in my opinion. Because here's the thing:

Lucifer is the Avatar of Pride, one of the most powerful beings in all three realms, someone who's led an entire army through war and was maybe the first of his kind to rebel against its own creator. It's not easy to gain his respect, much less his trust, so for him to put his pride aside and offer a human the power to control his entire being, it's much more than a simple "possessive and horny confession", t's him placing his ultimate trust in someone, it's him showing just how much he's grown to care for you.

Because you deserve it. You were the human who put his dear family back together, who willingly ran head first into danger more than once just for the sake of protecting his brothers, who gave your life trying to help fix what he broke. You were much more than a simple exchange student, you were someone he had slowly come to cherish, who so gradually approached his heart that he didn't even notice you come in and before he knew it, all the irritation and distrust he felt towards you had turned into love and admiration. You were a precious presence in his life that he felt the need to protect but failed to do so.

So Lucifer offering to make a pact with you just shortly after all you had gone through was a way to let you know just how immensely grateful he was for all you had done for him and his family, to show you that you had not only earned his respect and trust but also his love. It was an apology for every time he had put you in harm's way and for not being there for you when you needed him the most. Lucifer offering you a pact it's him letting you know that he will never ever let anyone hurt you again and that he'll always be there for you from now on, it's him saying that you can lean on him as much as you need because you're now part of his family — the one thing he puts above all others and will do anything for.

Lucifer asking to make a pact with you it's him showing you mean the world to him while having no qualms about letting the whole three realms know you were remarkable enough to make the prideful Morning Star let go of his sin and give you all of him.

-

Now, let's talk about Belphegor. As I've seen many point out, the reaction to MC's death after lesson 16 as whole was terrible. There was barely any acknowledgment of what happened, no apology coming from Belphegor, and the weirdest thing of all: MC was not only completely okay with being close to Belphegor but also the only one trying to help him when all the brothers were more than rightfully being awkward around him. So let's just put it this way: the whole situation was beyond bizarre and we all like to pretend it wasn't canon.

But back to the matter at hand: Canonically, MC's pact with Belphegor is formed at Diavolo's birthday party. After he disappears from the main hall where everyone is and MC goes to find him on their own. That itself already seems wrong, I mean, I don't know about you personally but if I had just been murdered by someone a few days/weeks ago, I definitely wouldn't want to leave the side of those I'm safe with to go find that person alone. But Canon!MC is very dumb and we can't do anything about it so our only choice is to follow him.

We are also not given the choice to refuse the pact when it's proposed nor MC has the chance to speak a word about it. Now the way I see this, it's a clear sign that MC doesn't want a pact with him. They are scared and pressured into making a pact with Belphegor because they're not sure what could happen if they refused. Because then again, this is the guy that murdered them not that long ago and laughed at their dead body like he was having the time of his life. And the last time MC refused to make a pact didn't exactly go well either, with Satan shoving them into a bookshelf and threatening the hell out of them.

And if Satan reacted like that, imagine Belphegor. And there was no one around either, Canon!MC had made the stupid decision to go find Belphegor on their own and had no one to protect them at the moment. So they have no choice, they are frozen with fear and are ""forced"" to make a pact with him even though they dread the idea. It's just awful and I hate that scene so much I can't even put it into words.

MC's pact with Belphegor shouldn't have been formed so early. They should've had the time to heal from all the trauma, time to distance themselves from Belphegor, and to process everything they had been through. And then only later they would slowly start to warm up to him again, after they know for a fact he's truly sorry for what he did and deeply regrets it. After they are ready to face him.

And for Belphegor's pact with MC to be formed on their last day in the Devildom, it would've simply been beautiful. Because then Belphegor would've also had the time to learn to appreciate MC, to realize how special they truly were, for what he did to become one of the biggest regrets he's ever carried. Belphegor would've had the time to see right in front of him how you treated those you had a pact with, time to realize that to you, a pact wasn't about gaining power and status, but about forming a deeper connection with someone.

The pacts you shared were proof of your strong bond with his brothers and all the love you had for them. And honestly, it broke his heart to be the only one in the family who didn't have that kind of connection with you. But he wouldn't dare ask for it, he couldn't ask for it. He didn't have the right, not after what he did to you that day. You were nice enough to forgive him, to treat him with kindness when all he deserved was your hate and loathing. He couldn't ask for more, no matter much he wished to.

So when you come around and ask him for a pact on your last night in the Devildom, he couldn't have felt happier. To know that you had come to trust him like that again even after all he did, for you to love him enough to want his pact mark on you for the rest of your life, it felt nothing short of incredible. He wondered what he had done to deserve you, because someone as caring and sweet as you should have no business staying close to someone as rotten as him. But he gladly accepts the pact after you confirm to him that's truly what you want. Belphegor then hugs you as tight as he can, sobbing in your embrace as he is filled with both the happiness of your newly formed pact and the sadness that you have to leave.

MC being the one to ask for a pact with Belphegor shows that they've come to trust him just as much as his brothers. And the pact itself is a sign that they've both come to overcome their past traumas and now feel more than comfortable with each other. It's proof of the strong and unbreakable bond they have.

[i-need-a-slurpee]

Fellas I've been working tirelessly in my lab to bring you guys a new crackship

Tell me what you think of Yusuke and the green pencil case kid that sits behind akira.

NOW HEAR ME OUT

It makes no sense and honestly this is all one big bit I have going on but listen here's the set up.

For those of you who don't know this is green pencil case kid

He doesn't have a name but he does have a green pencil case (not seen in this image) he's seen practically everything Akira has done on his desk. He can see Akira making his infiltration tools, texting in class and he can definitely see Mona just sitting in his desk. He knows Akira's weird but he doesn't say anything, he minds his own business and doesn't snitch which is why we like him.

Now with this information in mind let me set the scene!

Green pencil case kid is walking out of Shujin ready to head home for the day when he sees that weird kid with the desk cat meeting up with a very handsome blue haired stranger outside of the school. Bro is instantly captivated by resident pretty boy Yusuke and realizes he has to get this guy's number. How's he gonna do it?

He asks Akira, plain and simple. Now Akira is extremely skeptical of green pencil case guy because he's never so much as talked to him and yet here he is asking for one of his best friends' numbers. Akira is very protective of his friends so he wouldn't just go around giving out their numbers to anyone who asked. He realizes though that his classroom shenanigans have probably given his table neighbor multiple headaches so he compromises. He's gonna get to know green pencil case guy for the rest of the week to determine whether or not he's trustworthy enough to have Yusuke's number.

The week is hell for poor green pencil case boy as Akira drags him to weirdest places he's ever been. A hole in the wall cafe, a weapons shop, a sketchy clinic, and jazz club with some strange detective that has some weird tension going on with Akira. He realizes he might've been third wheeling their date but he doesn't want to dwell on that actually. Either way he ends up joining in on all of Akira's shenanigans throughout the week. By the end he's exhausted but content because Akira actually gave him Yusuke's number!

He learns a lot about this handsome blue haired stranger mostly that he's just as weird as Akira but it doesn't bother him at all, he's used to weird people at this point. He's a lot less intense in his hobbies though, rather than having to run around for different part time jobs or having homoerotic jazz nights Yusuke paints! He attends Kosei high and is an excellent artist.

Their first date is to an art exhibit where green pencil case kid reveals he's an amateur artist himself, all he does is doodle in class when he has the time. They're simple but they give him something to do when he gets bored and Yusuke, ever the art enthusiast, absolutely loves them. Yusuke thinks he doodles capture his artistic vision wonderfully, they're fairly simple but it's fitting for green pencil case guy. Speaking of the pencil case, Yusuke loves the color and how it stands out from the rest of green pencil case guy's supplies. He says it's a good reflection of the artistic side green pencil case kid hides from the world, his life is simple and mundane but there's that color that he has added to his own life. Something that is entirely his and proof that he exists outside of what might seem like a greater narrative.

Green pencil case guy appreciates Yusuke's words more than he thought he would. He's always felt very insignificant around his peers, like he didn't have a purpose like they did. He realizes just how perceptive Yusuke is, which is another thing he likes about him.

Needless to say they go on more art dates.

Listen I know it's really stupid but they're important to me okay. I'm gonna give them the love story of the summer. Yusuke and green pencil case kid for the win 💪

[professorhayforbreath]

so episode 5. all my thoughts

we picked up where the last one left off, good start

annabeth saying she knows percy isn't dead... how. to annabeth and grover there should have been no way percy was alive and finding out he was should've been so emotional but instead she was like dw i know he's not dead lol. it's kind of... lazy writing? like how are you gonna write a scene as gut wrenching as percy trapping himself with a monster and telling his friends to complete the quest without him because he's actively dying and has no reason to believe he'll survive, and then make the fallout of that so... nonchalant? idk if it's a time limit thing but that was so underwhelming to me

annabeth being the one to see the fates... no

fugitive percy enjoyers at least we won!!!!

the trio peeking over the road barrier at ares was cute goofy silly i liked that :)

gabe on the news shit talking percy i'm hooting and hollering!! "i really-- WE really loved that car" and "i'm gonna kill him". excellent. now put percy on the news fake crying about his "loving" stepfather i believe in you

i did want them to acknowledge annabeth's lack of experience with the world outside camp but having her say "i've never seen any kind of movie" has gotta be one of the weirdest ways they could've done that

the turnstile scene was cool i guess but as we go on i'm more and more conscious of how many episodes are left and how much plot there is to get through and idk i feel like this scene could've hit the cutting room floor and we wouldn't have lost anything

i do love the ambience of the park though. maybe i'm easy to impress because the aesthetic of an abandoned amusement park is just fantastic on its own but the set was very cool. wish it wasn't so dark so i could've actually seen it ❤️

percy and annabeth having a serious conversation with 'what is love' blaring in the background is sending me

first ever seaweed brain dropped! i liked the way they did it, it felt natural

actually back to the "i've never seen a movie" thing. you're telling me that in this version of the story, in which frederick chase was apparently a great dad who treated annabeth like a gift, he never took her to the movies? or she never watched one on tv? she had a whole seven years of life in the real world before going to camp and she's never seen a movie

annabeth isn't allowed to have fears she's too smart for that apparently

i think the scene with the chair was overall well executed with some great lines and fantastic acting but... idk. they really scrapped the original scene just to do what they already did last episode. i miss the spiders i miss hephaestus tv. it felt redundant to have percy sacrifice himself again. percy this is the second time today you've been like "no dw i'll just die" do you need to talk to someone

annabeth disillusionment arc complete already? calm down guys this is season one

ZOO TRUCK ZOO TRUCK ZOO TR

so it's confirmed the reason they go into the lotus casino is BECAUSE hermes is there :/ they said these literal children cannot fall for tricks and traps it's too unrealistic

not much to say about the grover and ares scenes bc i don't know what to make of them. i didn't mind them. ares had some funny lines. i guess my only complaint is that the grover i know would not have been so calm talking to the god of war. i'm curious to see where that cliffhanger leads

is it just me or did the pacing improve a little bit this episode?

despite how negative i sound i enjoyed episode 5 a lot more than episode 4. there are still so many weird changes, additions, and omissions though. honestly i think a big part of the reason i enjoyed this one is because i'm not expecting anything anymore. i'm not getting my hopes up about them adapting the book normally i'm just intrigued by this thing like a scientist observing an experiment. like hmm what are they doing now? fascinating *takes notes*

[space-qu33n]

"This is the weirdest thing I've ever done in my life."

"I don't think that's true."

"Ashton, not me."

[littlepetbee]

i've had the house to myself this weekend so i decided to marathon a bunch of movies that have been on my watchlist for aaages. here they are ranked bc i love making lists lmao:

Game Night: this one was far and away my favorite...it's a fun, clever mystery that's also funny as shit. rachel mcadams is the queen of comedy and also waving a loaded gun around like a crazy person. fuckin 10/10, you guys

I Love You Phillip Morris: listen. i avoid jim carrey like the plague - it's nothing personal, his face just irritates the shit out of me. but i'm SO glad i gave this one a try anyway...it was so cute and touching and gay little ewan mcgregor with his gay little earring is genuinely the softest, sweetest thing to ever exist. it makes complete sense that someone would become a conman for him lmao. 10/10

Bullet Train: thee action comedy lbr!! shoutout to @seeinhindsight for reccing this one to me. it was so well done...with all the winding storylines and running gags it easily could have been a tonal mess, but i feel like they knocked it outta the park. also the steady stream of "oh shit this guy's in it too???" was fun as hell. 9/10 just bc some parts made me sad and my movie ratings are based solely on how they Make Me Feel, not any objectivity lol

Attack The Block: my brain the whole time: YEAH BOY(EGA)!!!! an alien invasion movie with a Message and pre-star wars john boyega?? that was always gonna be a slam dunk for me. though i do gotta say watching british movies as an american is always jarring as hell bc there's no guns. it feels like the weirdest kind of unreality. anyways 8/10

This Is Where I Leave You: slowing things down and getting way more Serious here but i was surprised by how much i liked this one (though maybe i shouldn't have been, since dysfunctional families/siblings are kinda my bread and butter lmao). the surprise lesbianism-slash-lowkey-polyamory definitely elevated it, too! 7/10

Shattered Glass: 100% the movie you gotta show people when they try to say hayden christensen sucks at his job bc uhhh he ate that shit up. not to be #me about it, but if that dude can be that fucking cute the whole time and still make me wanna throttle him within an inch of his life, you know he was doing something right. 6/10

As Above, So Below: i was bummed at first when i realized it was one of those found footage horror dealios, but i actually ended up really liking it. and honestly for the setting, i think found footage really was the only way to go. the concept was super interesting and the horror aspects were sufficiently creepy without being enough to give me nightmares, which is about all my babyass can handle. 6/10

Everybody Wants Some!!: yeah the hoechlin 80's movie lol. it was fun! the characters were likable for the most part! the vibes were good! but B's cannot live on vibes alone (that's a bible verse, i'm p sure) so i was left wondering what the Point was. i am not the target audience for hangout movies, i'll tell you that lmao. 3.5/10

so that's the list!!! all in all a very great way to spend a weekend <3

[acre-of-wheat]

Tagged by @spybrarian! Thaaaank you!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 

I have 26

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 

338,736

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I used to write Clexa, but now I just write Tanthamore

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Network Connectivity Issues (ahead by a lot)

A story I'm deeply in love with writing, due to its closeness to my heart and because of the novel way it's written-- which is live on a discord server whenever the mood strikes. Fanfic is typically serialized work, but this feels like...even closer to that immediacy, and it can be quite electric.

The Pieces

A collaborative collection of one shots in the Kinkverse universe (talked about below)

The Bite

Canon compliant fic about longing and how it can come out in your teeth.

The Stones

Essentially a sick fic with some fun world building

The Test

Long distance edging and denial. The fantasies were some of my favorite things to write.

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to! Sometimes it takes me awhile!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? 

Out of finished fics I suppose it would be The Beloved Prey, though I do have a handful of things I've written to continue that.

Unfinished it would be the unpublished sequel to My Own Echo.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? 

I think maybe The Stones. Magic holding and accepting Jade because of Kit's love for her feels pretty happy.

Oh! And Network Connection Secure. The Cam girls having a proposal moment that's distinctly them? Very sweet and I wrote it for Christmas.

8. Do you get hate on fics? 

Not on these ones!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? 

Yes, yes I do. The majority of my work contains it. I think the weirdest I've written (so far) is probably Spare the Rod.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I'm not really big on crossovers, so this isn't something I've done. I'll go hard on an AU though.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nah.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? 

Nope! Translation is an art in itself-- I think I'd find the idea of someone doing that a little daunting?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? 

Kinda! @swashbucklery, @spybrarian, @commanderbuffy and I have all written pieces in what we call the Kinkverse. It was a brain child of mine that started with The Lesson, but has since become a collaborative writing world. It's been one of the most lovely experiences of my creative life. J has also written some supplemental material for NCI that I adore. @barmaid-anon and I brainstorm deranged plot ideas constantly, and she is my best/worst little gay graphic critic.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I'm going to need to say Tanthamore.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? 

I'm not going to speak this into existence. I'll say that there are a few fics that I have agonized over for a very, very, very, very, very long time.

16. What are your writing strengths? 

I think I get to the point pretty well. I keep action and development moving. I think I do some good figurative language. I trust my instincts on where a story needs to go next.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

The Agonies. The connective tissue between important scenes. Not knowing what to have characters do when they're on their own. Run on sentences. Too many WIPs and not enough commitment.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? 

I haven't ever found it necessary? I guess I feel about it the way I feel about captions for another language. You know when captions will say "speaks in a foreign language?" Bane of my existence. Either translate it or get out of here.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Pretty Little Liars. I was a big Paily fan for awhile there. Those live back on fanfiction.net

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? 

The Past feels really good to write because it pulls together all these threads in my brain for the Kinkverse girls, and it feels very unifying for that vision. It's satisfying connecting the dots.

As for who to tag on this: @barmaid-anon, @commanderbuffy, @swashbucklery, @multiplefandommess, @vetiverriver, @onlyshestandsthere, @claymoressword, @kittanthaloselorashield

[fullstcp]

The Break-Up Sentence Starters

( dialogue prompts from the tenth episode of the eighth season of usa's psych, feel free to edit and change as you see fit )

"Do you understand how a company car works?"

"You have found the only healthy thing that ever tasted good, ever."

"You move fast, my friend."

"Is this a little creepy?"

"It didn't become real until I said it out loud."

"I've made a decision."

"Are you not coming up? 'Cause I can come down."

"You're not driving down."

"I can't do this anymore."

"I am saying that I'm going to move up there to be with you."

"I have never been so sure about anything."

"This is really happening."

"Sometimes in this life, there are things that are just difficult to say, you know?"

"I ate all the food in your earthquake emergency barrel."

"You're such a sensitive soul."

"I need you to brace yourself for some truly disturbing news."

"I'm completely freaked out, if that helps."

"Get your ass up. We got a dead body to go see."

"I had all the right intentions."

"Working alone is the saddest of all situations."

"This isn't nearly as grisly as I was hoping for."

"What is this bad news I have to brace myself for?"

"You know you can't just tell me there's bad news and not tell me."

"We had a great partnership and a great friendship, and apart, we'll never really be the same."

"You wanna tell me what this is all about?"

"How are you supposed to break up with your best friend?"

"You just saved my life."

"I will not let that or anything else come between us."

"I finally had the venue for the bad news, at least."

"You've never been afraid of anything in your whole life."

"I'm just unsure of the rules."

"They were digging in the wrong place!"

"Now punch me in the face."

"Do you wanna tell me what you've been avoiding saying?"

"We really should discuss how much of this treasure we're gonna keep."

"Our friendship is the single most important thing in my life."

"See, you can't trust your friends."

"I'm sorry that I can't do goodbyes."

"I just can't help thinking that the only problem that you really had this whole time was me."

"I've kept you from the life that you deserve, you know?"

"We're gonna play detective, whether you want to or not."

"What am I supposed to do with this place?"

"This is the weirdest Skype call I've ever been on."

"We didn't get to speak nearly as much as I would've liked, but I heard more about you than anyone ever could."

"You sound heroic."

"What matters is that our life together starts now."

"You're standing on evidence."

"You leave me without so much as saying goodbye, and that's supposed to be okay?"

"Children terrify me."

"I am an adventurer now."

"You didn't have second thoughts at all?"

"I wanna spend the rest of my life making you the center of my universe."

"How many times did you turn around?"

"We can set up shop here."

"I am done cowering from the big decisions."

"I have spent my whole life running from one thing to another."

"When I'm with you I'm just fearless."

"From this moment forward the only running I will be doing is into your arms."

"Just marry me so that I can show you how amazing our life will be together."

"I will marry the crap out of you!"

"Now give me the ring."

"What the hell kind of city is this?"

[veliseraptor]

AU scenario: xue yang survives getting disarmed (hah) by lan wangji after the yi city arc! what happens next 👀

i have actually written two versions of this one! one in novelverse where Su She manages to sweep Xue Yang away (my god, I keep mentioning this one lately, but nurture the tiger) and one in cqlverse where Song Lan makes the deliberately contrary choice to leave Xue Yang alive (Walking Far From Home)

this is a rough one though!! because I want things to end better for Xue Yang but they don't look great for him at this point in time unless somehow you bring Xiao Xingchen back to life. though okay let's see what I've got here. going with novelverse for this one and at least starting with the nurture the tiger premise

so Su She manages to bring a half-dead Xue Yang away from Yi City, half-dead and an absolute wreck having lost his last ditch hope of getting Xiao Xingchen back. somehow (Xue Yang's nearly inhuman endurance) he manages to stick him back together

(since Jin Guangyao is busy, probably this is just a Su She effort; they need all the allies they can get with the way things are going, he thinks, even if this particular ally is not going to be very useful, but still. maybe Su She's a little attached, though I don't think he'd be very inclined to admit it. Xue Yang grows on you. like a fungus.)

howmever, he's got other things to do, so he does have to leave Xue Yang on his own once he's (more or less, barely) stable. and then everything goes to shit, leaving Xue Yang entirely on his own because everyone else is dead.

this becomes clear to Xue Yang (that nobody's coming back for him, anyway, though he may or may not realize that's because they're dead and just assume he's been given up for lost and not worth killing personally. dick) and he reaches out to the only option he has left, which is to say his fierce corpse masterpiece (with whom he still has at least a distant connection, as his former master, even without the nails he can at least try to summon him), figuring that at least he can die with...if not grace then a little faster than of infection, and hey, Song Lan was kind of sort of his fierce corpse best friend for a while there

anyway, Song Lan (who has nothing better to do except be miserable right now) shows up, decides to leave Xue Yang alive because he's too pathetic to kill at this point and also because Song Lan doesn't have any other (living) friends and is incredibly lonely and at least here's the only other person who understands the grief he's feeling, even if that's the last thing that Song Lan wants to admit

eventually once Xue Yang is better (ish) they leave and go off journeying together in the weirdest most miserable duo road trip ever. Song Lan is continually like "good night, I may kill you tomorrow" to which Xue Yang is like "okay, that's chill" but it gets almost comfortable

shared grief bonding!!! Song Lan is just waiting for Xiao Xingchen to heal while trying to maintain the work that they (would have done) were doing together before everything fell apart. Xue Yang is like "saving people is boring but not like I have anything better to do at this point ¯\_(ツ)_/¯"

I have no idea where this goes. but I like the idea of it just kind of continuing until eventually Xue Yang does die and it's bittersweet in the end and it's kind of like. everyone's dead now. including Song Lan. he's just ambulatory about it.

anyway this whole thing would be really fucking angsty and all about grief and mourning and I'd probably cry writing 90% of it

[thegodcomplcx]

Sometimes I think Moffat did ship Eleven and Amy more because he seems smart enough as a writer/good at writing chemistry that he could’ve written Amy choosing Rory more smoothly. It could’ve easily has the first few episodes of series 5 be Amy and Eleven having fun but the minute Rory steps in the TARDIS eleven is the third wheel and the shadow of her having already grown up is around . Amy and Rory could’ve been written as super in love while still having Amy just be scared from abandonment issues and attached to Eleven as a result.

Instead we got this weird attitude on everyone’s sides. Amy treats Rory like a puppy but marries him because she doesn’t want the puppy to die, Rory has contempt for Amy’s choices, and Eleven wishes Rory wasn’t around but still has to choose for Amy to live with him. I know Moffat likes writing teasing dynamics but he managed to do that with so much more affection with Amy/Eleven, Twelve/Clara, Twelve/River. Even friendship wise with Twelve/Bill.

I’m just saying Amy and Rory seem like the weirdest writing Moffat has done and I can’t even blame his sitcom like writing for that because he’s done better with everyone else

my opinion about whether or not romantic 11amy was written to be taken seriously or if it was written just for laughs and views has swung DRAMATICALLY in favor of the former given the release of douglas is cancelled. i mean. look at it.

but even before that i would have said that i don't think it really matters what the intention with them was bcos that doesn't change the impact of what made it's way onscreen.

HAVING SAID THAT...the writers must have realized really early on that amy and rory being together is deeply, deeply uninteresting. i mean rory is barely a character in s5, he's only in like 50% of the episodes, and i would argue that amy's choice is the only time that the writers actually try to treat their relationship seriously and not as a punchline. (read my meta on amy's choice and how it doesn't even achieve this purpose. like thematically.)

even in the wedding its not even about rory like at all. it's still about amy's connection to the doctor (and she's still trying to get in his pants. at her own wedding. in front of the groom and god and everyone)

i would argue that s5-7A is an elevenamy will they/won't they and that rory's only purpose is to be "the husband" which is why he's such a nothingburger character. (i think the only time he proves to be a meaningful contrast to the doctor in a way that doesn't walk all over amy's character is in the god complex. but we don't have to talk about that rn). moffat is basically writing a drama. he's setting up a bunch of things so that we will keep tuning in, and one of them is the question of "who will amy choose"

i mean. fucking babygate. s5 makes it obvious that amy has romantic feelings for the doctor. they could have chosen to end it with the wedding, but you jump into s6 and its like woah okay. amy is babytrapping the doctor. and this makes complete sense for both their characters. and then the god complex happens and it's this natural ending point for eleven and amy. and once again the writers say no. amy actually still can't give him up.

which is why amy can never make an choice until her very last episode, bcos that would ruin the suspense. and we know that despite all the set up, amy can never choose the doctor because this defies the structure of the show. (she's so doomed by the narrative) so they really backed themselves into a corner with amyrory. if their relationship is actually good then rory might as well not exist. if their relationship is frequently unstable, it risks becoming like. obviously bad and obviously inferior to the OTHER romantic dynamic amy is involved in. they chanced the odds and they fucking lost because 11amy continues to be one of the most compelling things i've ever seen in my life.

[lazaruspiss]

What ur fav Batman-adjacent character says about you (WARNING: not to be taken seriously)

Batman: there's like three different wildly different divisions of y'all. dude bros who only watch the movies, tumblrinas who only read the fic, and people who want to study this fucked up old man like a bug.

Robin (Dick): a sucker for the classics. you're either pretty wholesome or fucking deranged (affectionate).

Nightwing: gay and/or trauma. not applicable to new52 fans. i don't know who that Nightwing is. never met that man before in my life.

Robin (Jason): really into poetry. probably processing a lot of not-so-good things.

Red Hood: gay and/or trauma (but you're still into poetry). either really eloquent and well thought out or one of the shittiest people I've ever met in my life. most are the former, don't think about it too hard.

Robin (Tim): "he was a sk8r boi, she said c u l8r boi". you're a late 90s/early 00s kid and/or enjoyer. probably at least a mild Nightwing fan by extention of Tim's whole deal.

Red Robin: you're sad, tired, and need someone to project onto. or you're just into femboys. the most likely to get into the weirdest fandom beef.

Robin (...Tim? Again?): what's happening in there (new52)??

Robin (Damian): you have more patience than others for difficult kids. or you just read a fanfic with his edges sanded off and have never met a human child before.

Batgirl (Babs): you need to grow up a little. or you only read new52. are you okay?

Oracle: you like a woman who is a bit /too/ mean to you. you've also been completely done dirty by DC and i send you my sincere condolences.

Robin (Steph): you're a bit of a goofball, and you may or may not have a complicated relationship with an older man.

Batgirl (Steph): I'll be real with you, I keep forgetting that even happened. I think she gets called flat chested and mistaken for Damian's girlfriend or something? I'm so sorry.

Spoiler: you want to kill your dad and go out for milkshakes with the gang after.

Batgirl (Cass): "...tumblrinas who only read the fic, [or] people who want to study this fucked up [woman] like a bug." sometimes the two are distinguishable by whether or not they acknowledge her as an adult.

Orphan: same as prior, but you like Batman less.

Batwoman: woman-liker. probably a bit representation starved.

Alfred: you're either trying too hard to be different or you haven't spent enough time with your grandparents to realize that they're probably just as fucked up as everyone else.

[mysticbeaver]

randomly asking cuz im curious lmao but what kind of music are you into? what are your favorite artists and songs? from what i've seen you're mostly into classic rock, right? (which btw the classic rock to eene pipeline is really funny and quite fascinating but that's another story.)

Oh I'm glad you asked!!! Boy now I can go on a rant 😁

Ok, I'm one of those folks who have a hard time explaining what kind of music I listen to... classic rock was definitely my upbringing since I was a child - like the Who, Led Zep, AC/DC (I feel slightly embarassed by that nowadays, sorry AC/DC fans 😅 good memories tho).

As a teen I started going into 70s progressive rock, especially King Crimson, which I consider my favorite band ever for the simple fact I've been able to stomach pretty much everything they ever put out, even the most self-indulgent and tough to listen stuff (the "ProjeKcts"). I also fell in love with some art-pop (Peter Gabriel, David Sylvian) and generally got more adventurous and tried to slowly discover other artists (but always unabashedly behind the times haha). I went through a Bowie phase, tbf I still don't think I truly "get" Bowie lol, but one of his most interesting albums to me is Outside, probably the weirdest thing he's ever done. I also got into some electronic stuff, Tangerine Dream, Yello (two funny looking swiss guys, you might be familiar with that meme song Oh Yeah lmao). I'm also extremely familiar with Tom Waits... (I'll mention Captain Beefheart since we're at it) I've delved into jazz here and there, Pat Metheny is the first thing that comes to mind, but I'm pathetically ignorant on the genre.

The latest artist I went through a phase and now consider one of my favorites is the band Talk Talk. Their short history is mindblowing, they went from "80s one-hit-wonder pop band" to making music completely out of its time. The Color Of Spring is the best 80s-pop-album-that-doesn't-sound-80s I've ever heard, and Spirit Of Eden is... something, lmao. That album and their last one, Laughing Stock were apparently very influential on later artists in the 90s and onwards, and are now considered masterpieces despite not selling very well at the time. The enigmatic band leader Mark Hollis eventually took the genius decision to... retire (gasp) and disappear from public view for the rest of his life (I think some "artists" out there could learn a lesson from that 🤐)

John Martyn's album One World is another recent favorite, a folk rock guitarist who got kinda trippy/experimental and recorded an album by a small lake, sometimes recording the sound of the speakers in the distance... there's a beautiful track on there called Small Hours where you can even faintly hear the geese.

Finally I want to mention two historical italian artists I'm familiar with - Franco Battiato and Lucio Battisti. I've always shunned music from my country when I was younger, but I'm trying to make up for it, and those two really captivated me (although if you grew up in Italy you can't escape hearing Battisti's more famous hit songs, also apparently Bowie was a big fan, so I've read...)

All of this is just the tip of the iceberg, what came to my head right now. Btw, I wanna know what the "classic rock to eene pipeline" is haha

[notmorbid]

deliver me.

dialogue prompts from deliver me by elle nash.

it's not right. not right now.

i don't want drama.

when i think about the future, i think about winning the lottery.

only stupid criminals get caught.

you can kill me, if you'd like.

should we catch up sometime?

let me know if you need anything, right?

don't name a thing you aren't going to keep.

would you run away?

as much as you talk, you're a terrible communicator.

do you understand how what a man needs differs from what he wants?

have you ever kissed someone?

there's an entire world out there they're not teaching us about.

don't worry. i'm not cursing you.

i see you peeking, you weirdo.

i don't much remember you, but you look familiar.

i broke into my friend's house and stole a crock-pot and a box of yarn. no fucking clue why.

i haven't done anything like that for a long time.

you don't have to worry about what i think.

you could be a serial killer or something.

all i've ever done is give people what they want.

i can never tell what's real and what isn't with you.

that's part of building a good relationship. reciprocity.

in a sharp turn, never break. swing into it with everything you've got.

you haven't needed me for a long time.

you shouldn't worry about what kids at school say.

i said we were doing bible study.

how am i going to get out of this?

i don't want to be alone, and i can't be at home.

mothers fear their daughters only because they're afraid of their own deaths.

i hope you trust me when i say i'm trying my best.

why didn't you ever call me after you left town?

i'm moving on now. i've been moving forward a long time.

american culture is immoral. that's what's evil.

evil can't be fixed. it has to be burned out.

don't piss on my back and call it rain.

are you going to keep standing there and let all the warm air out?

you're my little moral guidepost.

i'm used to doing things on my own.

when you've lived this life, then you can lecture me.

i must be the weirdest person you've ever met.

there is no conversion without conviction.

what do you hope to gain by ignoring me?

you never told me what that scar was from.

that's what tears people up inside: that they should be sorry, but they're not.

do you know what it's like to live with a secret?

i regret not being kinder to you.

you shouldn't be alone right now.

it's no use loving a god that has betrayed you.

[youthofpandas]

so what's crabfic and how'd it get the name?😺

omg hi yes crabfic my beloved... it is my character study type fic about sinclair and their gender issues in the months leading up to that christmas and how they intertwine with the fears of the prosthetics surgery and growing up <3 centering around the relationships they have with their sister and of course demian and kromer

it is slow going but i think it's about half done - kinda unsure how to end it bc well. part of it is is the simple fact the gender issues go unresolved for much longer. but it's been really fun to be so self indulgent with it, it's truly my ideal little world of headcanons and themes I want to see explored. really love how well demian's "i want to see your full potential be realized" thing works in the context of giving increasingly weird, metaphorical advice about this and kromer being a source of both envy and doubt in sinclair as they have very mixed feelings on wanting to be more like her while she also wants sinclair to be, well, her sinclair and so she causes a lot of their self hatred <3 yayyy~ limbus making kromer a girl was so great bc i think sinclair being drawn to the world of darkness And getting weird gender envy from her is just so good... and then they also made her an insufferable fascist so she's also transphobic To Me and it all feels so in line with sinclair's character to get roped into All That Nonsense on their journey of self discovery

the crab thing comes from the fact i believe all my fics need some weird thing for demian to go wikipedia boyfriend mode about and in this one it is hermit crabs. using them as a metaphor for moving forward in life and how picking how you want to move forward doesn't have to be a permanent choice that has the ability to ruin everything - instead the crabs can pick from their shells and if they're not comfortable they can find another one with no harm done and the only thing that will hurt them is refusing to acknowledge that they are outgrowing their past. demian is doing his best to urge sinclair forward but both of them are doing a weird little dance around each other where sinclair still doesn't want to talk about their fears of the surgery and demian doesn't want to reveal he Knows everything more or less. really funny convo happens at some point where Demian is like ^^ oh don't let your fear of your family's reaction stop you, after all they could just all die one day and then what would you do? and Sinclair is like ._. uhm. I don't want to think about that. actually.

sighs wistfully... i love you demisin... world's funniest couple ever, weirdest little nonbinary bisexuals in the world. I've had to cut out many bits that get too romantic bc I'm trying to keep it away from being too shipfic-y i want it to stay more sinclair focused but like of course demian is like "i have a non normative experience with gender myself, (5 minute ramble about gender and crabs)" and sinclair is like (so in love it physically hurts) "would you love me if i was a worm hermit crab?"