#this is totally normal right like a fandom/ship can consume you for this long and it's totally normal right

[yeommijeong]

new gumijeong fic idea has taken hold of me and it won't LEAVE……… it is MARCH and i still havent moved ON

[vampirenaomi]

Fic author interview! Tagged by @lynne-monstr

Tagging @pengychan @geminiartemis @dandunn @bookshop-cryptid @flo-nelja and honestly whoever sees this and wants to do it. I just tagged the first few people who came to mind when I tried to remember who writes fic.

1 How many works do you have on AO3?

96, but there's a lot on Fanfiction.Net that I haven't double posted, so the number could be a lot bigger.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,513,727, which is honestly more than I expected.

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The Universal Measure (Lupin polygang)

Fates Entwined (Lupin/Zenigata)

Adjusting Our Course (Lupin/Zenigata)

Nobody Fulfils a Fantasy Like Prussia (Prussia/Romano)

Mortal Sin (Prussia/Romano)

Here you can see the power of writing popular ships because while Lupin fandom is so much smaller than Hetalia, Prussia/Romano was always kind of a niche ship. I think Adjusting Our Course probably got a boost from being a Yuletide exchange fic. I was going to say I'm glad Mortal Sin made it since it's one of my favourites, but it turns out I got it mixed with another porn comedy about this ship. I wrote too many of those, I guess.

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try, even if I don't always have more to say than thanks. But sometimes I forget and then feel awkward replying months later.

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I almost never write stories where there's an unexpected angsty ending. If the ending is angsty, the whole story is. So maybe I Count the Hours Without You in which Prussia jerks off while thinking about Romano, who's dead.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

There are a lot of happy endings in my stories because my favourite kind of fic is one where there's lots of angst and suffering first, and then a happy ending. I don't know if I can pick one that somehow stands out.

7. Do you write crossovers?

Not usually, but there's Hsi Wu Visits the Land of the Dead, which is a Jackie Chan Adventures/Grim Fandango crossover written because I was madly in love with both canons back then. This is over 20 years old (holy shit...) so I honestly don't remember what even happens in it. Reading it would be like reading a stranger's fic.

I'm not much of a crossover fan, but if I had to write one today, it'd be with Jackie Chan Adventures and Kim Possible because I'd love to explore the idea of Jackie and Monkey Fist knowing each other as archeological colleagues.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I don't think so.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Sometimes, but it's not really something I set out to do. I like using smut as a plot device, like having sex as a way for the characters to express what is going on with them. But I also like funny sex where lots of things go wrong and the characters talk shit to each other the whole way through.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yeah, a few have been translated. One of my longest friendships actually started when @geminiartemis wanted to translate a long fic of mine into Portuguese.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, @geminiartemis and I wrote some fics together here and I also wrote a fic with Snakelady Frohike1 here. I don't normally like to write with other people because I'm too much of a control freak, but these stories were mostly just fooling around with friends.

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

It keeps changing. I can really, truly love only a few things at a time and when I move on, my feelings about previous ships fade, though never fully disappear. But I think nothing has inspired me as much as Prumano did.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

The Right Turn of the Road which is a massive Kaiketsu Zorro AU. I got 2/3 of it done, but then I got into Hetalia and it consumed my fannish life for years.

15. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm pretty good at dialogue and banter. Also set-up. The start is usually the best part in anything I write, especially multi-chapter fics.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

I overwrite, especially when it comes to characters' feelings. My editing process is usually deleting multiple paragraphs where I say the same thing over and over, and my fics still feel a little bloated sometimes. Also endings because I can rarely wrap up all the loose ends.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

A few phrases here and there, sure, but if it gets to a point where I have to open a translator in another tab to understand what's going on in the story, I'm out. Uncharitable, perhaps, but I usually end up feeling like the author wants to show off that they know the language.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Pokémon. This was before we had good Internet at home, so I wrote stories for myself and saved them on floppy disks.

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

I have an outline for a Pycal/Kyosuke Mamo fic that I think would be really cool, funny, and emotional, but who knows if I ever get it off the ground.

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I've been at this for so long that you can't make me choose.

[kivaember]

37. Promote one of your own “deep cut” fics (an underrated one, or one that never got as much traction as you think it deserves!). What do you like about it?

48. What’s the last fic you read? Do you recommend it?

💜💜💜

37. Promote one of your own “deep cut” fics (an underrated one, or one that never got as much traction as you think it deserves!). What do you like about it?

man i've written so many fic and in armored core fandom i feel like my fics get quite a bit of traction considering how small the fandom is. i mean averaging between 40 kudos on those fics is pretty impressive!

But I suppose (strictly sticking to my current fandom of AC6) I would like some of my Walt/Mich and Flatwell/O'Keeffe to get more traction, even though I'm aware they're fringe ships compared to the likes of viv621. But it's fine I'll write for like the five people who like those fics so we can all go insane together haha

I will say I'm very surprised that the rusty/freud fic (or viviv as i'm gonna call their shipname lmao) got as much attention as i did since i think i'm the only one?? who's written that?? it is a good ship though. consumed my brain with ideas for it. hope i'll inspire other people too with that.

48. What’s the last fic you read? Do you recommend it?

Oh man with this question I'm gonna do more than one. Let's see top five I've read recently are:

helping the world via murder, a guide by your local reformed terrorist by RK7200 which is a Jujutsu Kaisen/Naruto crossover. I'm totally blind to JJK but the premise intrigued me to try it and man, it's a good read and you can easily get by with very minimal JJK knowledge so long as you're savvy with your Naruto lore. Tl;dr Obito after dying revives as a curse in JJK world, and sends Gojo down the conspiracy rabbit hole thinking Obito is evidence of a big cover up in the Jujutsu world. Hilarious misunderstandings by all.

2. Mana by Eiruwei, an OC/Shisui Naruto fic that is amazingly written and I thoroughly enjoyed it, esp with how the person wrote their OC and explored their relationship with the Uchiha and Shisui. Really recommend giving it a read.

3. never gonna give you up by owlings, which is a Rusty-centric fic on trying to figure out who O'Keeffe's "babygirl" is (and being traumatised when he learns the answer is Flatwell). Genuinely made me laugh a lot and is very well-written, so please check it out.

4. SATOKO by quantumghosts, which is an OC-insert fic for Naruto and this is also amazingly written. Tl;dr an OC is isekai'd into Naruto as a female Naruto, and it does incredibly worldbuilding and character development between the characters, and Satoko really distinguishes herself as 'Naruto'. Really recommend this read.

5. Letters to Monsters by beccadbuss, this is yet another OC in Naruto fic, and it focuses on an OC and their relationship with the Bijuu before they're sealed away. Has a lot of focus on literature and the lessons they impart on people, and how sometimes an open hand and a willingness to understand achieves more than brute force. Genuinely an amazing read and I recommend!

6. Fire Rebirth by Blackbirdo, as a bonus sixth entry because I remembered it and it is genuinely fucking hilarious. Zuko is reincarnated as Itachi in Naruto and I read it if only because the summary read:

"To Zuko's great relief, his new family were not part of a cult. Instead they seemed to be rather normal; they were well-mannered, cultured, fire-breathing people who were very assured of their own superiority, and had a family history of insanity."

Seriously recommend it if you want a bit of silliness with a dash of "Zuko is somehow the only sane person here, incredibly, sort of".

Right, well! Those are my fanfic recommendations! You can tell I love OCs and people shipping OCs with canon characters and crossovers because yes, it results in many glorious stories tbh.

Thanks for the questions!

[green4allseasons]

Green! I've been wanting to ask you this for a few days, but I'm too shy. Today is the day. When did you start shipping Jason with Tim, and what dynamic do you like the most between the two of them? Also, how did you come up with the idea of taking advantage of the YJ series to write about them?

Have a nice week!

Ahhhhh! Oh my goodness, I am SO glad you woke up and decided today was the day! Seeing this message in my inbox gave me all the fuzzies and happy feelings🥺💕! But I also completely get it; there are so many cool people in this space that I want to send asks to, but I am also shy and have yet to. This may be the thing that encourages me to do so!

As for your first question, I actually found out about the JayTim ship in kind of a roundabout way. I've been a DC fan for many years (particularly the animated movies and shows) but never really thought more about the other universe-wide ships than a casual "oh, that's nice" for most of them. But then, a few years ago, I came across a stunning fanart that was actually JayDick (If you can believe it!!), and my thoughts were, "OH! That's nice!!👀" Insert many Google searches later, a foray into Tumblr, and my first experience getting into Fandom spaces, and that's where I found a fanart for JayTim, and let's say my mind just spasmed "ahdfdfdsfsdf," and I was sold.

As for "what" exactly sold me on their dynamic? It's funny because I am not usually an enemies-to-lovers fan (friends-to-lovers is much more my jam). But for Tim and Jason?? It just works. I also am a sucker for angst, and pining, and good old fashion snarky banter. But honestly? I think what really got me was the absolute "ride or die" way that they care about each other when depicted in fandom and even platonically in canon. I know "ride or die" could be applied to a lot of ships, but I think that these two would go to far more extraordinary lengths to protect each other than, say, some other characters (particularly those of whom are hindered by their moral code). Both of these characters are consistently shown to be greyer than not, but just go about it in completely different ways. I've always been more attached to gray characters in fiction, so when there are TWO of them? It's just the chef's kiss. TL;DR They are both just MESSY and yet competent AF and I love it.

But even with my attachment to them, I never considered writing fanfiction! I've only ever written original stories. I don't even know why I didn't consider it because I've loved reading fanfiction since I was as old enough to navigate a computer (a LONG time😅). But suddenly, a little over a year ago, I was re-watching all of Young Justice while simultaneously watching the new season, and BAM! Two very specific scenes came up in my head (One that has already been written about in Part 1 and another that has yet to be shown in Part 2), and I could just Not. Stop. Thinking. About. It. I'm serious. Those two scenes kept me awake at night, the brain rot was all consuming, and I got that feeling that all writers have felt a time or two where if they didn't jot it down in that moment, they'd just implode!!

So, of course my totally normal person response was to immediately sign up for AO3, outline an entire ~40-chapter story around those two scenes right down to the nitty-gritty details, and start uploading.

100K words later and here we are! The rest was history!!! I know this is probably WAY longer than you ever anticipated 🤣 but THANK YOU for asking me! I hope I didn't scare you away with the essay. I have just loved these characters, the JayTim fandom, and my first experience writing fanfiction so much, and all it takes is a little question for me to go on a gush about it!!

[light-lanterne]

(to clarify: I am not that previous anon) The cannibal!will fandom is a really interesting phenomenon to me since it's being introduced to a fandom that's so very against anything 'out there' or 'nsfw' in any capacity, and since it's something that a lot of people are uncomfortable with (but I also see a lot of defense for it) it's getting a lot of push back. Stranger things is relatively gory and is still technically a horror/thriller (even if it's real silly sometimes) so to me it makes sense to lean into that as a fandom, but they also definitely have sexually charged scenes/hints of sex without making it too explicate for their audience and it's just like, basic, expected, normal sexually active human stuffs. Nothing crazy, nothing kinky. Just. Sex basically (pretty common in these types of shows esp teen thrillers, and even though it's there I appreciate they don't go overboard the way a lot of teen dramas try to play it up and that's always been weird to me, I digress) but even though it's there (just like the horror/gore/thriller aspect is canon and very real themes in the show) for some reason nsfw is still very frowned upon (I'm specifically talking about consensual relationships/aged up characters/adults content here that's still getting a ton of hate) to the point nsfw artists/writers are pushed out of the fandom as a whole, and it kinda feels like people are trying to do that in the instance of cannibal/will as well. It's really disheartening and I guess I'm a little jealous of the nice little pocket of 'freaks' /pos you've helped curate. Purity culture has destroyed curiosity and experimenting in a safe space such as fandom and it's weird af. Fandoms have been pivotal to a lot of people finding themselves and trying new things in safe spaces and I just don't understand how the Stranger Things community is this really weird staunchly anti-sex community, esp when the show itself is just. Not that? Never has been that? ISN'T that. (which I guess with how people be out here viewing Mike the way they do, what can I expect) This isn't a 'kids show' and I GET that there's a lot of kids in the fandom (but it's also definitely not just kids pushing people out of the fandom) but there's no age limit to this show and there are tons of people in different age brackets consuming this show and it's just weird how violently against curating your own content and consuming what YOU want to consume is so frowned upon. Sort of like... Just cause I'm in the Stranger Things fandom doesn't mean I want to see all the ships so I can just. Block them! People tag for a reason. There's no reason people should be dictating what can and can't be put on someone else's blogs, and people are so rude, and make uncalled for comments as if they have any right to tell you how to participate in fandom how YOU want to on YOUR OWN BLOG. It drives me crazy. This fandom is so very uppity and act like if you don't like exactly what they do then you're wrong and should feel bad and aren't allowed to be a part of the fandom at all, and I'm just tired of it. Sorry for the long rant. This isn't like... sorry if this comes off wrong. I'm not trying to attack you at all lmao I know how you feel about nsfw so sorry to come to you about it. It's just you always are so respectful and understanding that it's like, not your thing! And that it's ok to not want to view certain things! And I appreciate that a lot. Everyone is in their right to not want to consume certain content and that's totally understandable (esp when it doesn't line up with your personal beliefs or sexuality or anything like that) but you're not out here going to peoples blogs calling people shitty things for enjoying their fandom the way they want to. If people would just... Live and let live, it'd only be for the better. Probably best not to respond to this since I don't wanna start shit on your blog. I just. Wanted to rant but also say good on you for being you and keep doing it. Fuck everybody else. Fandoms are here to be creative/have fun and it's ok to share morally ambiguous content!

hi anon ! i don't have much to say about anything you said since, as an aroace guy, sexual content is something i never quite interact with. even some making out in fanfics can make me all squirmy and uncomfy ! :S

just know that i'm glad you felt comfortable enough to share your frustrations with me, and please be assured that i'll never harass or attack anyone who produces / enjoys that type of fanworks !!

it is,,, a very nuanced topic. and while i do understand why there's a lot of debate surrounding the topic and i do respect a lot of the arguments for and against the concept, i think the main takeaway from all you said —from all the conversations i've ever seen about it— is that newer fandom members need to learn to curate their online experience.

the tools are there. they're not that hard to use. if seeing something sexual is upsetting to someone, it is relatively easy to avoid it both in ao3 and in here. if someone wishes such content didn't exist, it is quite easy to mute some words and blogs and voilà, it's like it actually doesn't exist !! there's no need to make big posts condemning the morality of content tropes one doesn't enjoy in fandom spaces, and there is absolutely no reason to go attack people who do engage with such content and are just doing their thing (which is a thousand percent worse than anyone creating anything "weird" >:\ ).

live and let live, as you said anon.

and the same goes for the dark stuff i enjoy (like cannibalism and all that). if someone doesn't like it they're free to block me,,, or if they don't want to do that but still don't want to see it, they can just block out certain words or my handy "dark byler agenda" tag. it's easy, it's there, and people need to remember to utilise such tools to cater the stuff they see to their taste ~

(and if they really wish it didn't exist, they could also drown it out by supporting stuff that doesn't have such tropes via reblogging and actually engaging with things, which the fandom as a whole often forgets to do -_- )

anyway, i better cut myself off here before this gets too long x.x once again, thank you for considering me safe to open up about this !! hope you have a great day / night anon, and that this fandom treats you kindly as you enjoy it the way you've chosen to :]

[imreallyhereforkataang]

I'm unsure about how's the best way to articulate this, but I'm kind of surprised there's not more fan content highlighting the otherworldly aspects of Kataang, and a part of me wishes we could see a bit more of that.

I'd expect that most if not all fandoms frequently have an affinity for glamorizing aesthetics of characters and ships, and content creators who I know often look for ways to convey that sort of thing. I've also witnessed lots of people on this site claim that they first became attracted to a ship for its aesthetic because they saw embellishing artwork that didn't really highlight much about the characters' personalities, but was still gorgeous and impressive to look at.

And yeah, it makes sense that content creators and consumers in fandom engage with works that make epic an idea that may be primarily based off the “what” of the characters, or the situations they find themselves in, rather than the finer details of the “who.” The resulting creation is similar to what happens when the personal elements of a legend get lost over time, while the sensational aspects continue to be retold and glorified. That sort of thing makes for extremely intriguing depictions of the original source material, even if it’s at the expense of some of the subject’s humanity. Though, even when that depiction becomes so far removed from the original that it's totally unrecognizable, I do think it's often still fascinating and creative, and maybe should be its own celebrated thing altogether.

It's just surprising to me, and kind of disappointing if I'm honest, that, based on the relative lack of fan content doing this, many people seem to either not recognize or not act upon how Kataang has that exact aesthetic potential.

If you were to keep the basics of their story intact but tell it through a different lens or genre, maybe dramatize it a bit, it would be so easy to emphasize how Kataang is literally like a demigod and a mortal falling in love. That on its own to me sounds like the premise for the epic love story fandom culture would traditionally find appealing. And it's really not much of a stretch -- that is one legitimate way to look at the pairing if you broke it down to its objective pieces, even if it's not the most focused-on part of their relationship in the original material (though it certainly is alluded to). The source material is much more detailed and personal, like watching a show where Oma and Shu are the main characters versus hearing the major beats of their legend.

For Kataang, we can definitely take it further with drawing out their major beats. The mortal comes into her own and is shown to be a force of comparable measure to the demigod, as she is his self-appointed protectress. She releases him from dormancy, bringing him back into the world to fulfill his grand destiny, and on their quest, she would become his teacher, both in training and in reacquainting himself with the new era. At one point she would even revive him and his line of divinity after watching him be struck down and killed. This mortal is his first devotee, and his personal connection with her makes her his attachment to the world and, in extension, the mortals he protects.

Meanwhile, the demigod is the personification of the mortal's faith, a vessel of the compassion she feels so deeply for others. He takes her places, literally and metaphorically, she never could have gone before, teaching her in turn about lost practices and new perspectives. He can legitimately bring her to the skies with a unique ability that no one else in the entire world possesses -- an ability that also defines much of what he stands for and what her world has been missing in his absence.

Not to mention how the mortal was one of the only people who believed this demigod would resurface, and the only person by his side from the start of meeting him in their warring environment. The two were born nearly 100 years apart, yet their connection and love is shown to transcend both time and space. Their elements and roles to the world and to each other can be represented by synergistic air and water, which are associated in canon with freedom/peace and change/virtue, respectively. And if one were going to dramatize Kataang's relationship and what it stands for, their exchange could reasonably be depicted as the bridge between the heavens and the earth (moon and ocean).  

Like, truly, their story is so mythical. The pieces are there. Think about how their theme is called "The Avatar's Love" and segments of that theme are reused for LoK, pointing to Aang's reincarnation cycle and how the love he feels transcends so many lifetimes, but he chooses Katara in this particular one. Think about what Yangchen says to Aang about the reason the Avatar is born a human and not a spirit, that the Avatar must live amongst humans and experience human emotions to recognize how precious the life is that the universe entrusts him with protecting. Think about Aang's chakras in The Guru, and not just the Love and Thought Chakras but nearly all of them, and how truly tied Katara is with his energy, his spirit. That can't be faked -- that's real, genuine influence, her touching his life in ways that highlight his humanity. Think about how Aang has a real-time vision of Katara without even intending to, and the only other being we see Aang do something similar (but intentionally) with is Appa, to whom Pathik says, "You and the Avatar's energies are mixed. You have an unbreakable bond."  

Think about the Pietà pose in The Crossroads of Destiny and all that symbolizes about Aang and Katara (honestly that alone should be enough because it speaks volumes), including their world savior/first believer dynamic. How Katara brings Aang back to life and says, "I don't know what I did exactly," thus giving fuel to the idea that saving him didn't just constitute normal healing on her end. Think about the visual parallel between her resurrecting him and her releasing him from stasis in the first episode. Think about Katara's extended opening narration in the pilot and how it evolves to when she meets Aang, with just as much trust in an idea as in what ends up being the real thing.  

Think about their relationship when Aang goes into the Avatar State, embodying his most divine form. How Katara is able to speak with and approach him, and how he can hear her and respond to her while in that state, honing all his past lives. Think about when Aang deals the heavy attack at Fong's base that would continue to haunt Aang for so long afterwards, which showcases how out of control he is here, yet his blow from all Avatars completely and deliberately avoids Katara while targeting everyone remotely near her. Think about how Katara is so unafraid of a raging demigod, even when the person underneath hasn't been acting like himself lately, that she doesn't flinch at the output of his anger and just goes to him as everyone else runs. Think about that visual where she grabs onto his arms and pulls him from the air that only he can bend to the ground she's tied to and into her arms. Think about how she always tries to catch him when he falls, because she is adamant about being his cushion to the earth.

Think about how Aang is the reason Katara gets to touch the heavens. Think about how he takes her on an epic journey across the world so she can learn waterbending and make the difference she's always wanted. How being with him, the one person with a divinely granted duty to the world and who will always choose her, puts her right on the foreground for making that difference. Think about how they can still waterbend together even if Katara can't airbend -- no one can besides Aang. Think about their push and pull of the water and how it highlights their equal footing, and that although, as the demigod he is, Aang can master all the elements, Katara is the mortal who teaches him mastery in the one they share between them.

I don't know, to me it's all so cool and awe-inspiring. Obviously the most important part of Kataang's relationship is how their personalities play off each other and how they treat each other, but in terms of this kind of grander depiction, I think of it more like Oma and Shu. We don’t know the details of how Oma and Shu acted towards each other, yet we hear the story about the power of their love and take inspiration from it.

So yes, I unfortunately don’t see this pronounced demigod/mortal iteration of Kataang very often in fan works, but it makes for a pretty dang fascinating legend to contemplate anyhow.

[ao3-sucks]

An Archive of Someone’s Own: my experiences being groomed in fandom circles on AO3

TW: Childhood sexual abuse, grooming, mentions of incest and rape.

I used to be a big writer of fanfiction. It was the logical choice for me. I loved to write and create bold and immersive worlds, and I craved an audience who would enjoy my work as much as I did. Since my writing wasn’t actually good, I needed a community of other amateurs who wouldn’t mind that, and by tweaking my characters and settings into ones from canonical media, I got the audience I so craved.

I started writing fanfiction online when I was 14, posting initially on FanFiction.net and then moving to AO3 a few months later. As I got back into writing original fiction towards the end of high school, I lost interest in this community, and it’s been a long time since I posted anything much on AO3.

I’ve always struggled with the fact I display a lot of symptoms of CSA, and for the longest time, I couldn’t figure out why. Throughout my teen years, I refused to get changed or bathe when anyone was even vaguely nearby, constantly paranoid about being spied on; I developed a severe touch phobia, and would have frequent panic attacks from something as small as brushing arms with a passerby; I resolutely identified as asexual and refused to get into anything resembling a relationship with others because the very concept disgusted and repulsed me.

Weird, considering I had grown up pretty normal and all of these symptoms had started around my early teens. It was only when I told my friends about my friendship with a 30 year old I had met online that the pieces started falling into place for me.

Child grooming is usually discussed in the context of one adult going out of their way to befriend a child with the goal of lowering their resistance to sexual abuse, through normalisation and friendliness. I’d like to talk about how that worked on the fanfiction website AO3. Since it’s an open website and most communication takes place between anonymous users or accounts in the comments section of a work, there is very little delineation between spaces for adults to discuss whatever dark topics they like and spaces for kids to do the same.

This frequently leads to pretty inappropriate conversations between people of widely varying ages and life experiences, which is how I ended up talking sex as a fourteen year old with people ranging from a couple of years older than me, who were generally okay, to more than twice my age. The 30 year old in question listed on her profile how many pedophilic ships she loved, and she knew my age but pushed me to keep discussing sexual topics with her. Sounds like a red flag, yeah? Well. I was 14, and very stupid.

This 30 year old woman, who I will call Aku (because it’s similar to her screen name and because it’s funny to name her after the bad guy from Samurai Jack) would start conversations with me whenever I posted anything to AO3 and would refuse to take no for an answer when I tried to back out of conversations with her, and since these conversations were public and occurring within comments, I didn’t want to be rude to her since this was taking place on content I was trying to promote.

I told her my age multiple times and she would either pretend she forgot from last time (saying her memory is super bad) or continue as though it was just trivia about me and not a sign she shouldn’t have been pushing me. My primary objection to what she would say to me (since most of it was just her being annoying) was her insistence on sexualising everything I wrote, and her determination to push me into writing pornographic content, which I eventually gave in to.

Yes, she was a terrible person. She emailed me using her personal email address, so I know her full name and place of residence, because she’s an idiot. These emails also contain sexually explicit materials. Nothing much ever happened between us except for these very creepy interactions and the fact we remained online friends for a few years. But here’s the thing: she wasn’t the only person pushing me into creating sexual content. Lots of people would comment on my writing demanding that I show explicit sexual content when I really didn’t want to.

After a while it felt like I couldn’t write a longer, romantic fanfiction without including explicit sexual content. Like my work wasn’t valid without it. Other, more popular writers were usually sexual in their content, and I wanted to be like them and bring in the views, right? So, when I look at my back catalog of works, I can see how my content moved from completely non-sexual to featuring sexual content over time, and the views usually came with. In this way, I was in an environment that was encouraging me on many levels to sexualise my own work, which impacted the way I thought about my creative process.

Here’s another example I remember. When I was a young sprout, I remember reading down someone’s list of fanfiction recommendations and seeing a work called Hug Therapy, which I promptly read. While the work is marked as explicit and containing the Loki/Thor pairing, the use of relationship and rating tags on AO3 is so poorly regulated that it didn’t really mean anything to me to see either of those. People tag hardcore material as non-explicit and tag friendships as relationships, because there’s no motivation to tag properly. Plus, someone I followed here on Tumblr had recommended it to me.

Now, you wouldn’t know from the listing, but while this piece starts out as comedy, it turns out in the end to include rape, incest, and BDSM in very explicit terms. The fact it was tagged as being explicit didn’t slow me down, because the liberal use of these tags could mean that an explicit tag was just there because sexual content was implied or mentioned, which I thought would be the case based on the rest of the listing. Out of curiosity, I recently tried to report this work to the moderators for containing no warnings about incest or rape, and I got this in response:

“Selecting “Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings” satisfies a creator’s obligation under the warnings policy. Users who wish to avoid specific elements entirely should not access fanworks marked with “Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings”. Our Terms of Service note: “You understand that using the Archive may expose you to material that is offensive, triggering, erroneous, sexually explicit, indecent, blasphemous, objectionable, grammatically incorrect, or badly spelled. ….. This decision is in accordance with our policy of maximum inclusiveness; we have therefore closed this case and will not be investigating further.”

Which, yeah, I guess. The frustration comes from how ‘Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings’ is an extremely commonly used tag, and most things that it’s used on are totally harmless.

This fanfiction, which I was recommended by a friend, is hugely popular, in the top 60 most read fanfictions in the entire fandom. You wanna hear the kicker? The author, Astolat, is one of the founders of AO3. They’re not just some random author who isn’t following the rules. They’re a creator of the whole website, and they made the rules. This is pretty telling about how seriously the website actually takes protecting their users.

My final example I want to give is one of fetish content. People in fetish communities generally (not always) say that fetishes are probably something one should work up to after the onset of sexual activity, especially potentially harmful stuff like BDSM. In the circles I was running in, if you weren’t sporting a fetish or two (no matter your age) you were a boring bitch.

Maybe this isn’t true of everywhere in the fanfiction community, but I used to feel that bizarre pressure until I got out. Bear in mind that my main time in this community was from ages 14 to 17. I never made my age a secret, either. I told people outright I was that age, I was in high school, I was playing hockey and studying The Great Gatsby when I wasn’t online.

Since I was in the Avengers fandom and I liked Loki and the Asgardians, I was frequently exposed to incestuous content between Loki and Thor, and a lot of it came out of nowhere or was poorly tagged. This was considered the norm, and while I at first felt completely horrified and repulsed, within a year or two I no longer gave a shit. It’s only in the last few years as I’ve begun to unpack everything that I’ve started to get that strong revulsion reaction to incestuous content.

In the circles I was in, it was relentlessly normal. Normal to the point that people who disliked it were usually shouted down. Even to this day, debate rages on in fandom spaces about whether or not content like this normalises this kind of abuse. In my own personal experience, which I don’t usually like to talk about, it absolutely does.

In real life, this normalisation started to have serious consequences for my mental health and interpersonal relationships. In fanfiction, any occasion when you are alone with someone could become sexual, any familial relationship is possibly sexual, and it doesn’t matter if you like it or not. I became incredibly anxious around male family members for fear of being sexually assaulted, and my OCD, which I had been developing since I was a child, turned from thoughts of physical violence to thoughts of graphically sexually assaulted by anyone and everyone around me.

My fear of being touched got to the point where I would have panic attacks if anyone came anywhere close to touching me. I quit sports, fucked up my romantic relationships, and didn’t hug anyone, not even members of my family, for years. All the while, I had bought my first laptop and was consuming more fanfiction than ever before. I struggled with my sexuality growing up, as I am bisexual, and while fanfiction provided LGBT content to help me, the content was frequently so disturbing that I viewed any expression of sexuality as something evil and predatory.

The community on AO3, whether you like it or not, is often sexual, and provides no barriers between the casual user looking for content and extremely intense fetish material. It’s sometimes called the Pornhub of fanfiction, but considering the wide range of people who use it, it’s more like if you opened Youtube and saw niche hardcore fetish videos just on the front page, recommended and trending.

Sure, you have to click a little button to confirm you’re 18 before you can actually read a story, but the tags and descriptions of readily available works can be extremely explicit. Fanfiction also brings you into close contact with fellow readers and the author, and encourages you to become a content creator, which in some ways makes it more dangerous.

I was affected much more strongly by what I saw than most people would be, because I was already treading shaky ground. But I’m also not the only person out there who has been hurt in this way. Most of my friends who grew up in fandom can report the impact that fanfiction culture had on them. One of my friends from high school knew a panoply of porn terms at age 14 or so due to reading fanfiction, and another of my other friends at high school almost exclusively read rape porn because it was her favourite. I didn’t have friends who watched porn; I had friends who read fanfiction. These are just as troubling to me as any other accounts of young people consuming visual porn from a very early age.

It’s frequently cited that fanfiction gives minority groups the opportunity for creative outlet. It was a great place for me to cut my teeth as a content creator, and a source of acceptance and kindness when times were tough. Fanfiction communities have historically been the domain of women and minorities, and create a space for these people to tell their own stories.

It’s largely because of this that fanfiction communities fear censorship and strict moderation, as they have been attacked in the past on homophobic or misogynistic grounds, resulting in mass deletions of works or the shutdown of websites. But there must be some middle ground between total censorship and the kind of free rein that puts vulnerable people in danger, and I strongly encourage the board of AO3 to seek this middle ground out.

But it’s the community itself that needs to shape up; AO3 is, after all, a community-led website built by fans for fans, so the fact that this website has such issues is a reflection of the issues that run deeply within the people who created it. Aku didn’t talk to me with the intention of doing me harm, or so I believe at this time, and she didn’t pursue me as a lone wolf or in isolation.

She was simply a particularly brazen member of a community that was used to having inappropriate conversations with young people and sexualising everything they did. Even people my own age were jokingly pushing me into discussing and consuming extremely sexual content. It was just normal. That’s what I want to say here. Inside the world of fandom on AO3, the grooming of children with sexual content is normal. And that’s scary.

- Mod Daft

[kingswriting]

30 Day Writing Challenge

hey everyone! i’m trying to challenge myself to get back into writing, and i’d like to challenge everyone to do it with me! you don’t have to start on a certain day - just jump in whenever you want! 

Day 1: Write for the duration of one song. Do that again for another song. Or don’t. Or do it again for a whole playlist. It’s totally up to you! Don’t think or plan what you’re going to write. Just write. Stop the second the song ends. 

Day 2: Find an image that really speaks to you. Write something based on it. It can be an image of anything, whether it be fanart for a specific fandom or just a picture of scenery. 

Day 3: Find a one sentence prompt from tumblr or pinterest and write a piece about it. Length doesn’t matter. 

Day 4: Find a book in your home and flip to one of the following pages: 28, 106, 242. Find one of the following sentences: 10th, 23rd, 38th. Use that sentence to write a piece.

Day 5: I read somewhere that Elvis Presley still gets hundreds of Valentines sent to his address every year. I don’t know how true it is, but it’s kind of cute. Write about someone who wrote one of those Valentines. 

Day 6: Find this year’s Inktober list. (Hint: It’s right here.) Randomly generate a number. Write something based on that numbered prompt. 

Day 7: For today’s prompt, you’re gonna reach way back in your head and remember something you wrote way back in the day, when you first started writing. Whether that be a year ago or 10 years ago, write a scene that you think you could improve upon. If you can’t think of anything, rewrite a scene in some piece of media you’ve consumed recently that you think you could improve upon. 

Day 8: Use this generator to create a random character. Write about them. For an extra challenge, write about two random characters. 

Day 9: Think of a movie, book, tv trope that you really hate. Do you hate when a big, dramatic scene ends and turns out to just be a dream? Do you hate the manic pixie dream girl? Do you, like all of us, hate ‘kill your gays?’ Flip it on its head. Instead of the queer coded fashionable villain trope, write about a straight coded, khaki-wearing villain. If you need help check out tvtropes.com. 

Day 10: Freewrite. Set yourself a timer, whether it be for a minute, two minutes, five, or fifteen, freewrite. Don’t plan anything ahead of time. Let the words flow and see what happens. 

Day 11: Find five things in your room that seem really unimportant, like a pencil, a dog bowl, or an empty cardboard box. Choose one of those things. Write a piece about that thing being the emotional centerpoint. 

Day 12: Have you ever seen a music video that just makes you wanna create something? You can’t tell exactly what it is about it, but it just makes you wanna do something? Find that music video and watch it. During the duration of the music video, think. Let your brain be creative. After you watch it, write for 5 minutes. If you don’t have a music video in mind, challenge yourself to choose a music video outside of the genre you usually listen to and let it inspire you. 

Day 13: Write a little something about your favorite OC. This can be a character from a WIP you’re already working on, or an OC you shelved a while back. Just have fun with it! For an extra challenge, try to write something over 1000 words. 

Day 14: What if two main characters from two different stories got switched? What if Harry Potter and Percy Jackson switched places? Write about a main character ending up in a different story - whether the story be your own original WIP or an already existing story. Don’t be afraid to go wild with this one! Put Jon Snow in your own WIP. Have fun!

Day 15: Sometimes, it’s nice to just read about domesticity- no drama, no angst, just people doing things like grocery shopping or home renovations. Write about someone doing one of those domestic things that just makes you feel all fuzzy inside. This doesn’t have to be romantic - just write about people living their normal lives in a really cute way. 

Day 16: Everyone has a strength as a writer, whether they know it or not. What’s your strength? What do you think you’re best at? Write a piece that really plays into those strengths. Are you really good at writing gripping dialogue? Do you make scenes come to life with your flowery descriptions? Can you make just about anyone cry when you write sad scenes? Do it. Just do it. 

Day 17: Write a piece in which your character has a secret. But here’s the twist - you don’t know the secret yet. Let it come to you as your character is challenged by the people around them. 

Day 18: Have you heard that every birthmark you have signifies somewhere that your soulmate has kissed you the most amount of times? Write about one of your birthmarks. Or someone else’s. Or one of your OC’s.

Day 19: Look up your name on pinterest - it might help to add the word ‘aesthetic’ afterwards. Write a piece based on one of the boards that comes up. If your name doesn’t work (like mine - all I get is chairs??), use your middle name, your last name, or if none of those work, use an OC’s name. 

Day 20: Think of a place in the world that makes you feel a certain type of way. Do you feel small when you look at the stars at the beach? Do you feel at home when you walk through the woods? Write about a character in that specific place and how they might feel. 

Day 21: We all have things that we want to write about our OCs that we know, deep down, will never make it into the final cut. They may be self indulgent, they may be unnecessary, but everyone knows that self indulgent writing is the best writing. Write that scene you’ve been dying to write, regardless of whether or not you’re going to use it in the future. 

Day 22: Time to take it back a few days to the trope question. What’s a trope that you really just love? The pink haired/black haired ship? Platonic soulmates? Take this trope and flip it. See it from a different perspective. Do you love the fake relationship trope? Twist it and make it a fake enemy-ship. Do you love the best friends to lovers trope? Flip it and make it lovers to best friends. 

Day 23: Choose one of these playlists. They’re all catered after certain moods - but try your best to write a piece that is opposite of the intended mood, while still taking the playlist into consideration. Listening to a daydreamy playlist? Write something gritty and realistic. Listening to a love playlist? Write about a breakup. 

Day 24: Write a scene in a genre that is way out of your comfort zone. Are you a romance writer who has never taken a crack at horror before? Write something that’ll scare your own socks off. Are you a sci-fi writer who avoids romance like the plague? Write a good smooch. If you need a little help, here’s some prompts. 

Day 25: Imagine that a tattoo signifies something significant that happened to you in a past life. Write about one of your tattoos, someone else’s, or one of your OC’s. Or just make something up. Write about what happened to this person in their past life, and what the tattoo is. 

Day 26: Choose a scene from something you’ve watched/played/read recently. It doesn’t matter what the scene is. But write it in a completely different timeline. You can change the characters if you’d like. But if the story is a fantasy set in medieval times, write it as a modern piece. If it’s set in modern day, set it in the future. Who knows? You might end up changing the scene completely. 

Day 27: Take this test to find out what animal you are. Write about a chance encounter with this animal and what that might mean for your character. 

Day 28: Check out someone that you follow on tumblr. Find out about one of their WIPs, choose a character from one of them, and write about them with one of your OCs. If you don’t currently use tumblr, ask a friend about one of their characters. Challenge yourself to write someone else’s character as accurately as you can. 

Day 29: This is going to be an easy one - you’ve worked hard this month. Write 1000 words on your current WIP. If you don’t have a current WIP, or you can’t choose one to write on, write 1000 words. Whatever you want. 

Day 30: Take one of the pieces you wrote on Day 1 and rewrite it. Do whatever you want with it- but definitely listen to the song while you do! Make it as long or short as you want to. 

[sevensided]

re: your post about mike singing to el vs steve and nancy. when i watch s3 i can't help but think how much the writers nailed down that mike and eleven don't understand each other and, logically, are much better as friends. all the scenes with them are obvious as fuck. but then i look at the fandom eating it up as soul mates and.. yikes.

Very great message. I like this very much.

I’m torn on Mileven. Don’t get me wrong: I do not ship them, at all. As I’ve mentioned elsewhere, I’m new to the fandom but even I know that Mileven stans can get heated, and I generally deplore any online harassment over something like a television show ship (it’s very childish to me). That being said, I do understand how, in canon, Mileven came around and how Mike believes he’s in love with her. The hints are right there in S1. They could have made anyone - Dustin, Lucas, or even Will - interested in El, but they didn’t. It was Mike. And, in a way, it’s because Mike has the most change to go through. He’s the one who has the most to lose (as he perceives it). I agree totally with other people who have talked about Mike’s comp het. In this sense, it’s completely believable that he would attach himself to El and enact the type of relationship he’s led to believe - by society and his family - that he should want.

In terms of Mileven fans... It’s probably naive of me to admit, but I didn’t realise just how young ST fans are. In a weird, meta kind of way, they’re living S3. Right? S3 was defined by seemingly out of character actions, conversations, a running thread of superficiality, pop culture, etc. Both Mike and El overreact and respond according to how they believe they should act (Mike, because he’s gay; and El, because she’s learning to be a person). Having Mike and El be endgame fits a neat, prescribed narrative of boy-gets-girl. ST is a lavish love letter to 80s tropes. If ST was made in the 80s, Mike and El would end up together. But we’re not in the 80s - it’s 2020. I think the Duffers did write a love letter to the 80s. But they’re also subverting those tropes and reinventing them in an entirely contemporary and fresh way. Mike and El being endgame doesn’t work for the story, one, and two, it’s not, I believe, the Duffers intention to reinvent the wheel(er) (ha ha) (sorry).

Probably the biggest piece of evidence that flies in the face of Mileven is El’s behaviour in S3. Logically, it should be when she and Mike are happiest. They’re finally together, they’re being “normal teenagers”, it’s a summer romance, et cetera. But they’re coming at it from different places. For Mike, it’s two seasons (years) worth of onscreen pining for a girlfriend to make him “normal” and to fit in. For El, it’s the very first time she’s experienced society. Of course she’s going to demur when Max eagerly asks if Mike is a good kisser - she not only literally doesn’t know, but she’s hoping he won’t be the last. El is at the start of her journey as an individual, and Mike believes El completes him as an individual. They’re not on the same wavelength. Another thing I’d draw on is the canon fact that El watches a lot of television and therefore consumes a lot of pop culture. The way she acts is, in many respects, shaped by television characters and storylines. It’s all very romantic and dramatic, because that’s what she thinks/believes romance to be. It reminds me of romantic comedies, like the genre, in general, and how in growing up young women are led to believe that this is what love should be. But then you do grow up, and you realise that love isn’t dramatic and crying and arguments at three a.m. (or whatever - I have not watched rom coms in a long time). It’s a specific, sanitised version of love that is easily consumable and designed to model women’s expectations in (heterosexual) love and relationships. It’s fantasy.

El is living out her fantasy. It’s not malicious and we shouldn’t look down on her character for, well, acting like a teenage girl. I disagree with Byler fans who hate El. I actually think she’s a marvelous character. But she is learning to be herself, and it’s evidenced that she doesn’t grow healthily with Mike. Her friendship with Max is extremely positive and I’m so happy they devoted a lot of time and sensitivity to that connection, because it’s so important to El’s development. I agree totally with you in that Mike and El would make much better friends. And while I highly doubt Mileven will remain canon, if they ever decided to make it so, the show would need to prove that Mike and El have a strong enough friendship to be a foundation for a heathy, mutually enjoyable, respecting relationship. And, I mean... two seasons isn’t a lot of time to do that in. It’s not impossible. But in my personal view it is unlikely that will eventuate.

This so got away from me... I didn’t realise how many feelings I still have about this! But thank you for your message. I agree that it is doubtful Mileven will stick around. I don’t advocate for ship wars or fandom fighting or whatever. I just think you have to look objectively at the show and think more broadly about what messages, large or small, are being told, and what hints have been dropped along the way. When you do that you do, at the very least, realise that Mileven won’t be endgame. Whether or not you then believe in Byler is something else!

[lightwormlol]

ACOFAS REVIEW -INC SPOILERS

4.5 stars.

Okay, so! This was the first book I was able to finish in 2021. I've kinda been in a reading slump, and struggling to get past the 30-50% of books. I think its because I took essentially 3 months off my normal (daily) reading schedule and have been prioritising other things (health, fitness, job applications etc) - I think it's a testament to how addicted I was to this that I finished and consumed this at the rate I did! I recently went back and added some things to my ACOWAR review. To briefly summarise, I feel that, at the time I read it, it kind of gave me what I needed, but it definitely isn't getting a re read - my love for feysand has definitely lessened over time, but honestly i'm not that mad at sarah for this, as I find that whenever I've passed the sexual tension part of relationships in books, I tend to get bored of the domestic bliss. Like, leave that shit for an epilogue and keep it at that? As someone generally averse to relationships, but there is definitely a grace period for how long I can actively be smitten with a couple... before it becomes sickly. Taking all this into account, I honestly was nervous for this book, its release date totally took me by surprise, and I read it on a whim. As a Nessian shipper (I mean we didn't really have a choice after acomaf but to delve into the world of fanfic to keep us going) - this book gave me most of what I wanted and needed from them! I think,(some) kudos to SJM, for not disappointing in their relationship. This was definitely a character > plot driven story. In terms of the plot, I wasn't really invested until around the 38% mark? I'm not sure if I was adjusting to the writing style (lots of dramatic. sentences. that. are. so. abrupt. Nesta Archeron. Death etc) - or if it was bc I hadn't read an SJM book since the novella, which I basically skimmed. I was obviously reading for Nessian, but I didn't really feel intrigued by the wider plot (death gods, the human queens? Given I had lost my previous obsession with the world/ have outgrown 'fandom' culture, that made me actively update my knowledge, I couldn't remember a lot!) I think its clear that SJM excels character driven stories, but I think her worldbuilding and execution is significantly better in the throne of glass franchise. Now, I did say this was a character driven story. This is mostly regarding Nesta, Cassian and Azriel. I loved pretty much any interaction they had! I love a good training montage. Ngl though, I think, unless you possess an ardent love for Nessian, you're not going to be particularly wowed by this, if you've read heir of fire, or even acomaf. I obviously am never going to be able to be objective, because I've loved nessian so much from 2017-now, but I loved the dynamic those two (and three - friendship wise between nes/cass/az). One of the highlights of ACOWAR for me was the snippets of Az, showing tenderness, and opening up to the newer members of the inner circle (and i'm excluding any hint of an Elriel ship because FUCK THAT LOL) For me, the tip with SJM books is: once you outgrow them/the particular mode of narrative style, is to not anticipate anything other than a character driven story, albeit one riddled with smut. I personally am a romance heavy reader, so I'm honestly deconditioned to it at this point, (like, when I see reviewers scandalised I'm like... wow, the amount of trash I have consumed in the last five years loool.) While I disagree with the fact SJM marketed this series as y/a (or maybe it wasn't her per se, but the key booksellers definitely did this for her) - I think its clear enough now she's descended into the adult/borderline erotica genre.(very mild imo). I personally like to adopt a policy of skimming sex scenes when I find the dialogue cringy (most the time it is lets be honest any talking is v second hand embarrassment). Cassian and Nesta were definitely better than Rhys and Feyre post chapter 55 though! I was so glad there weren't a million moments of Cass/Nesta betraying their arousal with their scents, in front of everyone (like feysand, the voyeuristic pda pricks they are). I found the slowburn ish nature of their relationship great, and I actually think if you're a virgo/emotionally stunted reader, you will be happy with their relationship dynamic. It contrasts with the daemati sexual snark of acomaf, but it felt right, and authentic. This book was a journey of personal growth, for Nesta. It is clear SJM loves books about strong women, and maybe thats what makes me love this book so much. I think, out of all the archeron sisters, I love Nesta the most. This is for my Rose Calloway fans, my misunderstood, somewhat cold/left out girls, who are less receptive to being vulnerable. If you're a slowburn fan, it's not Mariana Zapata levels of slowburn, imo it's the perfect combo. Addictive enough that I don't want to put it down, but not so fast moving that I couldn't believe it. I loved the sex without emotion relationship they had!! This is honestly never done in mainstream n/a fantasy, unless its a caricature of a 'slut' that normally rivals the main character, lmao. Even if their inner conflict was p transparent, this gave me everything I needed! I know this is vapid lol but I also love the physical dynamic between the two, they just look so good together, the amount of fanart I'm going to reacquaint myself with after this review!! I adored seeing Nesta grow, (even if towards the end I kind of resented her sudden acceptance into the inner circle, i get SJM loves her and just wanted a fluffy ending, but, as a Nesta like character, it's awkward and stilted on her end to adjust to the inner circle like this - i mean, hugging rhys, really??)

I think, if I had to compare this to any other SJM book, I would say Chaols book (though I obviously preferred this). That being said, I felt less attached to new characters in this book than I was in even Chaols book (and even then ngl I remember nothing?) Obviously I loved what it represented, as a trio of traumatised women. I just, didn't love this the way I loved other inner circle members! I get that they gave Nesta exactly what they needed, a family that doesn't hold the history of her sisters, who she doesn't have to worry about holding preconceived notions of disappointment. I loved this for her! Even then.. I just wasn't attached to either of them. I found their interactions cute - but boring. Towards the end, when their stories/pasts are revealed, I couldn't help but cringe slightly, I can't put my finger on why, but I just didn't buy it. Maybe it's the brit in me but I couldn't be moved by this slightly forced bonding moment.. which was so anticlimactic. My 'aww how cute' tolerance is defo deserved for characters whose tropes I love. Maybe they just didn't fit into this list. Maybe I'm just being a cow here?

Now, let's speak about the real star of the show.... A FUCKING MAGICAL HOUSE FRIEND??? YESSSSSSS. IF YOU ARE AN ILONA ANDREWS INNKEEPERS CHRONICLES FAN, U WILL LOVE! How was the animation of this somehow more touching than all of nesta's other friendships combined? Exactly what I ordered, thank you. This trope somehow touches more than any material bonding!! The cute witch x house dynamic (also maybe howls moving castle vibes?) I loved the trying to reach the target of 10,000 steps (a little Celaena HOF). I think this, heir of fire and acomaf are my favourite SJM books for this reason. Gripes: I definitely had some personal gripes with how other members of the inner circle treated Nesta (rhys i'm looking at you. Disappointed doesn't even cover it.) I inherently take offence to any elain scene, as i'm so over bland characters whose existence is reduced to wanting to fucking plant flowers?? like?? really? To go from moriel to that is such a downgrade, even if I fell out of love with Mor due to the way she snubbed Nesta (you're a 500 year old being and you can't see someone is clearly traumatised?). I adore Az so much, but if it aint polyamorous, I cannot see any pairing with Elain making me happy. (wouldn’t mind gwyn though) I think the whole mating bond that I do not want is a good dynamic, but I really hate that everyone has to be mates in this world. I don't think we were that surprised, but it would've been nice if the somehow, idk, developed a strong bond over time, without it being preordained? Like, even if they do not all actively stay with their mate, given how disproportionate mates are among the general population, what's the likelihood 6 members of the inner circle (including lucien) have mates?

My advice? Read this book if you love nessian and the acotar world in general, but don't expect the world building to be consistent with greater fantasy series'. This style of story is obviously what to expect. She writes what she likes, and if her fantasy is this - then who are we, as readers, to expect otherwise?

Final rating: 4.5 (no, i'm not objective, but objectivity does not exist if you are a real, human being, lol)

Original Characters: 5/5 (nessian/az/house wise) 1/5 (feysand - really over how they essentially take over the very end of the book - ugh, I wanted nesta's arc to be wholly separate from them) Writing style: 3.5 Cringe Scale: Low, with the exception of some dialogue. New Characters: 2 Plot: I went into it with a 2 and came out with a 4. Not in terms of complexity, but in terms of how addictive and enjoyable this reading experience was! (less)

[angels-heap]

Okay hello I feel like you are Wise and Know things... it’s kind of hard to explain but is it wrong to just... Enjoy Things? With all the HL pisscourse going around it’s making me nervous about liking things like TF2 and missing something critical and huge in the media I consume and being labelled as a bad person for doing that. ESPECIALLY for liking characters like GLaDOS or Wheatley from Portal. I want to just Enjoy Things but there’s guilt tied to not being critical about every single detail

Thanks for reaching out, friend, and I’m so sorry to hear the current nonsense has you feeling this way. I have a hunch you’re not alone, and although I don’t claim to have all the answers here, I hope hearing my thoughts on this helps alleviate some of that guilt. This got long and I’m not putting it under a cut because it’s important. 

The short answer to your question is no; it is not wrong to just enjoy things. You don’t have to constantly examine all your favorite media under a microscope and incessantly highlight or dwell on its faults to be a good person or a good consumer of media, and here are a few reasons why:

(CW for brief mentions of all the squicky/potentially triggering things that tend to come up in ship discourse conversations.)

1. It is virtually impossible to find a truly unproblematic piece of media.

And that’s okay! Media is both created and consumed by people, and people are notoriously imperfect and complex. Sometimes creators choose to explore dark or taboo themes that are always going to squick some people out, no matter how well (or poorly) they’re handled. Sometimes content creators are actually terrible people who deliberately try to perpetuate their messed-up ideas through media. Sometimes creators’ deeply internalized prejudices seep into a work in a way they may not even consciously realize. Sometimes consumers’ experiences or prejudices color the way they perceive a piece of media and may lead them to a very different interpretation than what the creators intended.

Point is, there are a lot of shades of gray here. We should always strive to do better as creators and consumers, but the goalposts for “perfection” are always moving.

There’s almost always going to be something about your favorite media—no matter how benign it is—that rubs some people the wrong way, or (perhaps unintentionally) perpetuates harmful stereotypes, or starts out okay but doesn’t age well down the line. Period. That’s an uncomfortable truth that we all have to sit with. But don’t despair, because…

2. It is still okay to engage with and enjoy media that you know is problematic. Even if it’s really problematic. For real. I promise. The media you consume does not determine your worth as a person. 

Since you specifically mentioned Valve games, I’ll start out by clarifying that (as of July 2020), Valve games and their fandoms are pretty benign overall. Perhaps in the future, more of the humor will start to age poorly, or Valve will make some extremely questionable design choices with their next game, or Gabe Newell will be outed as a prolific serial killer, or whatever, but for now, there’s really nothing about Valve games that should make the average person go, “holy shit, you’re into that?!” when you bring them up in polite company. (And anyone who insinuates otherwise re: Half Life shipping discourse is either very confused about the definition of certain words or is maliciously trying to stir up controversy.)

That said, everyone has a different threshold for what they do and don’t want to see in media, and those boundaries are totally valid! But it is absolutely possible to enjoy even notably problematic media (e.g., Game of Thrones, the new Star Wars sequels, old movies where the directors were huge assholes to the female cast members, etc.) without being a bad person or a bad social justice activist. Instead of rambling about that at length, I’m going to link you to this excellent blog post on the subject.

The big takeaway here is that you can love a piece of media while also acknowledging its faults. In fact, I’d argue that a key part of loving something is being able to think critically about it and trying to hold its creators to a higher standard whenever possible. However, that doesn’t mean you have to be constantly analyzing it or prefacing every single public acknowledgment of your love for it with an “I know this is problematic and I swear, I just like it for XYZ” disclaimer, because…

3. Tumblr’s black-and-white thinking about media consumption is not healthy, “normal,” or (usually) present to the same degree in other virtual or real-world spaces.

I think most of the people on Tumblr who seem to be on a constant (and ultimately futile; see point 1) quest to find the One True Unproblematic Media have good intentions. I really do. And I applaud them for actively trying to understand and un-learn their own biases while becoming critical consumers of media.

Unfortunately, for a bunch of complicated reasons I still don’t totally understand and won’t get into here, some online communities tend to take these things to such an extreme that, in their quest to create a safe and/or inclusive environment, they actually end up creating an even more hostile one. To reference the recent drama again, nowhere is that more apparent than with “pro-ship” vs. “anti-ship” discourse.

Basically, “pro-shippers” believe that fiction is entirely separate from reality and therefore, “problematic” content (up to and including p*dophilia, inc*st, noncon, etc.) has just as much of a right to exist as any other content; this makes some sense on a purely intellectual level, but in the real world, obviously things are much more complicated than that. “Anti-shippers,” on the other hand, claim to be specifically against the aforementioned Big Three Bad Things in theory, but in practice, they’re basically the fandom purity police; they strive to criticize and shut down any media or fandom activity that could be even remotely construed as problematic, because they seem to have a (perhaps well-intentioned but ultimately misguided) perception that discussing anything “bad” in fiction will glorify/condone/promote it in real life and that all creators of “bad” fiction are inherently malicious. Often, they’re willing to twist definitions and jump through some very strange hoops to justify why something is “bad.”

The truth lies somewhere between those two extremes; fiction absolutely can (and does) impact reality, but not in such a clear-cut cause-and-effect way. People can see or read about dark/complicated/problematic things without condoning or enjoying them in real life, and conversely, people can dislike even relatively benign things without having to have an extreme, profound reason for feeling that way. People can also enjoy “bad” media while being fully conscious of what’s wrong with it and taking steps to ensure that it doesn’t negatively influence them, or they may lack the knowledge/context to understand why something is “bad” at first and change how they engage (or don’t engage) as they learn. There’s a lot more nuance to this issue than Tumblr is willing to acknowledge, and as a result, a lot of innocent people who just want to enjoy things in peace get sucked into some truly absurd drama that can be really hard to deal with. And that sucks. A lot.

So, TL;DR: Almost all media is at least a little problematic, but that’s okay, because the media you like does not determine whether or not you’re a good person. (And especially if your primary interests are Valve games... you’re good, mate. Seriously.)

The fact that you’re even asking me this question shows me that you’re being a thoughtful, responsible consumer of media, and that’s all anyone can reasonably ask of you without being a gigantic hypocrite—because whether they’ll admit it or not, everybody who’s perpetuating this discourse both on and offline likes something “problematic.” It’s impossible not to, unless you live under a rock and consume exactly zero media. Take care, and try not to let the discourse get to you! Go forth and enjoy things! (As always, my inbox is open for follow-up questions.)

ETA: Here’s another excellent tumblr post on this topic! And another one! 

[motleymoose]

Homecoming Pt. 3: Bits & Pieces Ch. 2

Chapter 2 Niceties in Flames

Fandom: The Mandalorian, Star Wars Universe Characters: The Mandalorian (Din Djarin), Gender Neutral Reader, The Child (Baby Yoda) Words: 3k+ Warnings: Panic, Anger, Angst Adjacent, FINALLY THERE’S SOME SIGNIFICANT FLUFF

Summary:

Panicking is not the best thing to do in these circumstances. But you know what? I'm going to do it anyway, any chance I get.

Notes:

Thank you for continuing to read this fear-fueled panic-fest!

Be prepared, all you polyglots out there - some of the Mando'a I made up using a combination of mandoa dot com and lingojam. It isn't perfect, and it probably makes zero sense. But until google translate has a Mando'a option, you're just gonna have to deal with the nonsense (unless, of course, you absolutely know your way around the language. I am all ears for some tips)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Homecoming Masterlist

Big green ears greeted me with a friendly waggle as the tiny, wide-eyed creature clawed its way out of the Mandalorian’s grasp and half-fell half-climbed down the beskar armor to the floor. It peered calmly up at the dumbfounded Mandalorian, meeping softly. At once, all of the resentment I had been holding dissipated. I had never seen anything like it, yet I wanted to safeguard it from everything else in the galaxy.

Perplexed at the sudden emotional assault, I took a careful step back. Maybe it was a creature that could influence my thoughts towards it? I didn’t know what those types of animals looked like, but I had heard stories. Stories that never turned out well for the beings duped into protecting the creature.

“Wh-what is that thing?” I asked, unease edging into my voice.

Looking over to me, the bounty hunter inclined his head in bewilderment. “He is a foundling.” The visor dropped my gaze, focusing on the thing at his feet. “He wants to - meet you.” And then, to the thing, quietly murmured, “You sure about this, kid?”

Huffing in answer, the critter - no, child? - waddled briskly up to me, stopping just short of my boots. He leaned back as far as he could, contemplating me with his immensely warm obsidian eyes. After a moment of uncomfortable silence, I finally broke.

“Uh, what now?”

The child looked back to the bounty hunter one more time. The Mandalorian sighed in defeat. “He wants you to pick him up.”

I nodded nervously. Of course, that made total sense. The kid was short. If he wanted to meet me, he needed to see me face to face. Didn’t mean I was comfortable with the idea, seeing as he might be able to mind-control me. Anxiety began to eat away at my insides. I didn’t want to become some mindless, slobbering zombie to something as cute and puntable as the little green child in front of me. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I haltingly took another step back. The kid followed, gaze intent.

Frag, frag, frag, it would’ve been better if he’d just get the mind controlling over with instead of waiting for me to do something erratic and stupid. It was as if he wasn’t -

Oh for Force’s sake! Barely able to contain my utter disbelief in myself, I facepalmed and groaned quietly. I still had all my normal paranoia. Logically, that proved the kid wasn’t trying to control. If he were anything like the stories, both the bounty hunter and I would’ve been dog food long before now.

“... you okay?” the bounty hunter grunted.

My head shot up at the noise. You’ve got to be doshing kidding me. In the onset of my panic, I’d completely neglected the fact that the Mandalorian was there.

“Yeah, I’m fine. So fine,” I muttered, embarrassed.

Right.

Mind made up, I lowered myself to sit cross-legged in front of the child. Now that I was at the little one’s level, I held out a hand, palm up, and smiled weakly. “Su’cuy, ad’ika,” I greeted him. The child’s eyes widened in wonder, and he grabbed a finger in each of his small fists, cooing animatedly back.

Glimpsing out of my periphery, the Mandalorian had moved closer, standing within arms-reach of the little one. His breastplate visibly moved with each breath, and I got the feeling he was very uncomfortable with the interaction.

The child, giggling at nothing in particular, dropped my fingers in favor of my knee. He clumsily grasped the wrinkles in my borrowed jumpsuit, pulling himself to stand on my thighs. Flat little feet, three-toed to match his three-fingered hands, curled into the fabric. The warmth of his little body was comforting in a way that I couldn’t recognize, and I had the sudden and all-encompassing urge to protect him with my life.

Chubby hands made quick work exploring my mostly-empty jumpsuit, only finding a clean rag and a half-consumed rations packet in one of the chest pockets. Disappointed in his discoveries, the little one tugged at the front of my tunic and with alarming dexterity, shimmied his way up to my right shoulder. He perched there, one foot in my face and the other kicking at my shoulder blade, happier than a mudhorn in the rain and giggling trilly.

“You little scamp,” I laughed, tickling the toes in front of me. The child tittered, wiggling away from me. He managed to swing his leg over my shoulder, clinging tightly to my back.

Chuckling, I reached behind me to find his little feet again. “Think you can hide from me back there?” I was met with a shrieking laugh when my fingers grazed the kid’s stubby legs.

“He likes you.” Startled, I released the child and halfway rose. I had all but forgotten about the bounty hunter, and his modulated voice was jarring after all the happy sounds that came from the little one.

“I bet you say that to all the bounties,” I replied dryly, the bite in my voice softer than what it had been before. Did I have to like the Mandalorian? No, a big ol’ negative no matter how many surprisingly nice things he happened to do.

But the child, well. I could rein in my attitude for a little while, just for his sake.

Shaking his head once more, the baffled Mandalorian stepped around me and the child and slipped silently into the cockpit.

“Is he always so chatty?” I asked the little one, gently scooping him into my arms and returning him to his original spot on my right shoulder as I stood up to follow my taciturn host.

The child burbled incomprehensibly, which I took as an absolute agreement, and held onto my ear as I settled into the co-pilot’s chair. His little green body radiated warmth, providing solace that I didn’t realize I needed up until now.

I snuggled my face into his little cloth-covered belly. The child squealed in delight, slapping the side and top of my head excitedly. Snorting like a dewback, I grabbed the little guy and pulled him to my lap, tickling him until he wriggled out of my grasp. From the floor, he practically rolled to the Mando, patting him animatedly on the knee.

The Mandalorian was at the controls, tapping something into the Navigation. He promptly stopped what he was doing and reached down to pick up the child. Cooing in delight, the little one set his tiny hands on the bounty hunter’s visor for a long few seconds before pointing at me.

“Fine,” the Mandalorian sighed. He got up from the pilot’s chair, setting the child carefully in his place, and disappeared through the door. I could hear the faint clanging and rustling coming from the back. Quirking my eyebrow at the kid got me a slobbery grin, so I made a face. I was still making faces at the child when the hunter snuck back in, a lumpy package in his hand.

“Here.” He dumped the cloth-bound parcel unceremoniously into my lap.

My hands closed on it automatically. It was heavier than its size suggested, and even though it was lumpy, I couldn’t tell what was wrapped inside. I didn’t know what else to do, so I gaped at the bounty hunter. “What-?”

With a sigh that could’ve extinguished a thousand flames, the Mandalorian picked up the child and plopped heavily into the pilot’s seat while nestling the little one gently in his lap. “Open it.”

Fingers curling possessively around the bulging fabric, I dropped my eyes once more before speaking. “Why?” My heart skipped a beat, clutching the bundle to my chest.

“Just, it’s yours, okay? Open it,” he replied gruffly.

For whatever reason, my hands trembled as I undid the neatly tied knot holding the fabric all together. After a few fumbling attempts, the Mandalorian impatiently reached over and nimbly plucked at the knot. It fell apart easily, and he settled back into the pilot’s chair.

Unfolding the fabric, I was greeted with a delightful yet disorienting surprise.

“I thought...?” There, neatly bundled in the rough fabric, were all of my tools and parts I’d had in my jumpsuit. I couldn’t believe it. He’d saved all of my stuff. Heart swelling in anticipation, I sorted through the jumble of wires and wrenches and screws, my eyes sharp for a familiar silvery glint. But the more I dug, the more my heart sunk. It wasn’t there. My pendant, the last remnant I had of my home, was gone.

“Where is it?” I gargled, my tongue suddenly much too big for my mouth. “Where’s my necklace?” Dread blossomed in my chest.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” the hunter huffed in annoyance.

The little one cooed softly, catching my attention. He was slumped in the Mandalorian’s lap, snoring gently as he dozed, completely unaware of the tension spiking in the room.

I lowered my voice, frowning. “My necklace. It’s on an old silver chain. A Mythosaur charm.” I swallowed the lump forming in my throat. “It’s from my caretaker.”

The bounty hunter froze, one hand poised over the flight panel. The little one stirred in his lap, and he laid a light hand on the child’s back to shush him. “What do you mean.”

A little flame of ire licked it’s way up my spinal column. I remembered having it when we got back to the ship. I remembered the steady, solid thunk of it swinging against my collar bone. He must have had it. It couldn’t have just gotten up and walked away.

“I want it back. Now.”

Turning his visor to me, he tucked the dozing child into the crook of his injured arm. “I don’t have it,” he warned in a deep-throated growl. “Everything you had on you is either ash floating in space or there.” He nodded his helmet at the bundle in my lap.

“Then where is it?”

“It’s a big ship,” he replied, turning back to the controls. “Things get easily lost.”

In my haste to stand, I barely caught the bundle of tools before they hit the floor. I turned on my heel and stormed out of the cockpit and down the ladder to the cargo hold, clenching my hands so hard that the steel and wire and other debris bit painfully into my hands.

Why was he lying? Could he even lie? I couldn’t recall a time where he wasn’t truthful, but that didn’t mean this time couldn’t be different. I tossed my beloved kit onto the bed and began sorting through it in a more organized and methodical manner. My favorite multitool, tiny spools of wire, the odd screw. My entire kit, from the biggest wrench to the tiniest washer, was spread out before me. Everything I’d had in my pockets had been returned.

But where was my necklace?

The pendant was a relic of Mandalore, and any Mandalorian worth their salt would recognize it for what it was just by the shape of it. I didn’t know the history behind such a symbol, only the little piece of information my caretaker had told me when he’d fastened it behind my neck. ”Ibic cuun aliit. Ibic cuun aliik. Ad���ika, bic gaa’taylir gar o’r buruk.” I didn’t understand what he’d meant at the time, yet I knew that it was important that I got the necklace back. It was a sign of allegiance. And that could have value to an outsider.

As I turned these thoughts over and over in my head, the guilt heavy on my shoulders, I inspected my tools for damage. But no matter what item I picked up, I couldn’t find anything remotely wrong with any of it.

Which was super weird, considering I’d been captured, beaten up, caught in a gunfight and then injured while on the dustiest and most polluted of planets in the sector. Surely my tools would show some sort of blemish or stain - probably my blood, in all seriousness - but they were clean and sharp and repaired.

What the ever lovin’ frag?

I didn’t want to add a whole other question to the pile that was already massive.

That meant I actually had to confront the doshing bastard.

I clambered up the ladder, face hot with anger and humiliation. “Hey, Mando! Copaani mirshmure'cye, vod?” I seethed when I entered the cockpit.

The bounty hunter bristled at the controls. A shiny domed pod floated motionless at his elbow, the opening facing the door. Inside slept the child, covered lovingly with a worn blanket, his soft breaths coming out in steady little puffs.

Swiftly rising from the pilot’s chair, he crossed the cockpit in one stride, reaching me before I could blink. With a rough shove to the chest, he pushed me into the engineering compartment and slid the door shut.

The room was full of wires and blinky lights and tubes of varying sizes snaking their way in orderly chaos to other parts of the ship. I took a short instant to gape and ogle in awe at all the shiny tech. For such an old ship, the hunter had outfitted the Razor Crest with some wickedly stars-quality mech. Enviously drooling over the fairly-new looking alluvial damper valves and definitely new motivator wiring, I almost forgot the reason I was back up here. Facing down a glowering Mandalorian.

Right.

“Why?” The spite on my tongue tasted off but pleasant, and it welcomed the rising ire with relish. “Why did you fix my kit? Frag, save it for that matter, after all the doshing kriff you’ve put me through?” I hissed. The anger was becoming its own being again, a beast uncaged and wanting to inflict hurt.

Standing like a statue in front of the door, the only sign of life was the tapping of his gloved fingers on the cuisses. Not a reaction I’d expected from a bounty hunter. I hoped for equal anger, shouting, maybe a sucker punch. Anything that allowed me to physically unleash the rage and fear and blasted confusion roiling unpleasantly in my guts.

A small sigh escaped through his vocoder, and he began to fidget with the wrist fastenings on his gloves, pulling at the fingers one at a time. The familiarity of the movement, such a little, almost automatic thing for a warrior, made my heart squeeze painfully, briefly tempering my anger, and I couldn’t help but picture my caretaker.

All of the things that reminded me of my warrior, the one who’d kept me from certain starvation and subsequent slavery, were all but nonexistent in this one. His brusque manner and indifferent attitude made me long for the kind words from the man I called buir. But he was gone, long ago abandoning me to the whims of the colony. More than anything, I hoped he was dead. At least that wouldn’t hurt as much.

Clearing his throat, the bounty hunter angled his visor to gaze at the converter panels blinking peacefully above my head. “Most bounties, when I bring them in. They - they plead innocence. Try to buy me off. Run. But you,” he paused, inclining his helmet to look me straight in the eyes. A shiver went up my spine. “You were the first quarry to ever accept your guilt. You didn’t fight back, you didn’t beg to be released. You just… took it so - so sincerely that I -,” The rumbling timbre of his voice, both rich and gravelly, cracked, making the vocoder buzz in protest. He took a shuddering breath, returning his gaze back to the point above me. “I knew the warrant was… off. No private entity pays that amount of bounty out of concern. I’ve done things like that before, awful things I can never take back but,” he stopped again, bare fingers tapping slowly and deliberately on the cuisses, gloves grasped tightly in the other hand. “I - I’m sorry. I about got you killed out of a sense of misplaced duty. You warned me, but I didn’t - couldn’t trust you, not then.”

I gawped at him in astonishment. Of all the things I figured would come out of that masked mouth of his, never in lightyears would I have thought it would be an apology. Closing my jaw with a snap, I swallowed and thought back to all of my tools he’d saved and repaired and cleaned.

My gaze dropped down to my boots. I still didn’t understand why he was being so… so… not a bounty hunter, but now wasn’t the time to question it. Never look a gift Tauntaun in the mouth, or something like that. A rustle of fabric was the only indicator that the bounty hunter was waiting for me to say something. I inhaled deeply.

“Th-thank you,” I whispered. My breathing came easier. My head felt lighter. Frag, even the atmosphere seemed brighter.

The Mandalorian didn’t reply. I mean, why would he? He’d saved my life - albeit being the one who endangered it in the first place, but that was neither here nor there at the moment - and patched me up. He fixed my kit without a word. He was bringing me with him on whatever he was doing on Nevarro, a decision that I barely understood to begin with. If anything, he deserved a little thanks for not killing me or letting me die when it would have been the easiest, and possibly the best, choice to make.

The Mandalorian still hadn’t made a sound by the time I was done with my internal debate. He was probably as surprised as I was at my capacity for gratitude. Maybe there was a way I could pay him back, and I decided to propose my services right then and there.

Steeling my nerves, I peeked up from under my lashes. The engineering room door was wide open, and I was completely alone among the blinking lights.

_____________________________________

Notes:

”Ibic cuun aliit. Ibic cuun aliik. Ad’ika, bic gaa’taylir gar o’r buruk.” - “This is our clan. This is our sigil. Little one, it will help you when you’re in danger.” (please forgive me for mashing a bunch of words together)

Copaani mirshmure'cye, vod? - Are you looking for a smack in the face, mate?

[alegotic-twelve]

read if you want (warning, very very long post)

I have decided to speak calmly, transparently and with the truth, to bring an end to all this

I know it's a subject that I should have left already, that I should have overcome but let's say that, I'm not the kind of person who swallows emotions, and lets others tell lies about her, or her friends so that's why I make this post

a few days ago, well, weeks (more time, I think), s0me-rand0m-fand0m was dedicated to talking many things about Moy, a Korean artist who, despite her great talent, has not been able to reach as much scope as she deserves , maybe by the haters, by many post that say many things about her, I do not know In short, since I am her friend, I go out to defend her, because, that's what friends do even so, things got more difficult when this artist that I nickname puppo (was his nickname when we met) decided to find ways to invade our privacy and publish not only personal drawings, but content that was totally taken out of context

firstly I will not deny that, yes, Funnylunetta is 16 years old, legally does not meet the age to be called an adult, even so, she is a teenager with enough coefficient to make the decisions that she wants, I am not the one to tell her what to do And what not to do, besides, before I could realize, was her friend, and then I knew that she was 16 years old (it's internet, the last thing you know about a person is their personal data)

but if I denied having shared my drawings of fictional characters with children older than 15 years, on the server where I posted this, there were more than 70 people, many fans, and some friends of Funnylunetta, on the server nsfw and gore channels, they were blocked, only those that Lola gave them access could enter and see the content Funnylunetta and Spacy were the only ones under 18 on the nsfw channels, although, if there was another, I do not know, again, I can not know the age of everyone or their personal data

If someone tells you that it was not like that, well, then you are simply lying to try to create another environment my intention to draw nsfw is not about morbid or looking for minors to see, on the server was just another way to share with my friends, much as Moy did, because I never seek to hurt someone or try something with someone, from Anyway, they are just drawings, if you think that can harm a person, then maybe you should start to differentiate reality from fiction

in short, Puppo says faithfully that this is wrong, because they are "minor" It is true that the law says that a child under 18 can not be considered an adult, that he can not consume pornographic content, and I respect this law, because in any case if I see a child watching porn, it would obviously turn off the computer even so, we are not talking about children from 5 to 10 years old, nor less than 11 we are talking about teenagers from 15 years old and up, but in the post they do not stop showing that they are "children" no, they are not, believe me, if I was their age, and I ever had, it would bother me to be nicknamed a child Being a teenager is another thing, is that your body begins to change, your mind too, you start to mature, and there are things that start to get your attention, I was a teenager, since I was 11 years old, I was drawing and consuming material nsfw, I'm not proud of that, obviously, but it's something that happens, because no one can tell me that as a teenager he did not see at least this type of content at least once and if you tell me no, you're just lying to me

Also, although Moy and I did not know Lola, she would continue to consume nsfw and drawing it, because she draws it, but consumes it only as a creative medium many times, all teenagers

Now, returning to the topic, yes, I understand that the rules of Tumblr also indicate that sharing nsfw content with a minor is prohibited, but, no, we never share any explicit content with Funnylunetta inside the tumblr website.

Now, have you thought about how this affected "the victim"? obviously she, or anyone in our circle of friends have wanted to talk about it, are not happy, we are in a difficult situation, because they want to ruin everything we have, and Funnylunetta has chosen to tell us not to say anything, that we simply ignore , a blanket of darkness has covered us and we try to pretend that it is not there and I try, but it is difficult for me all this, for Moy too, people who do not know us choose to judge us by the bad words of people who were once our friends, people that we trusted and love it, and now decided to do this for a kind of justice

no doubt this reminds me of the followers of the black bible ...

Again, I understand that they do not agree with the whole thing, but just as we are not sharing more nsfw drawings between us, Funnylunetta had to close her server, distrusting his own shadow and writing only occasionally in the private messages of discord, the change really hurt me, but maybe it's better that way but it does not mean that we all stop being friends, Maybe puppo wanted to hurt us, or make us separate in some way, but I'm sorry to say that it will not be like that, Moy, Funnylunetta and I, together with all our friends, will remain united, because in spite of all we love each other very much, and I'm very, very happy to have got friends like that

I do not expect that with this they think the same as me, it is good to think that a child should not consume this, it is okay, but do not think that it is something totally insane, that is morbid or something like that, you adults, you were adolescents, you came to Do worse things than Funnylunetta at his age, and do not tell me no, we were all crazy teenagers who went to the limit, and sometimes crazy experiences give us wisdom, and not only do I say it for nsfw, of course not, but if They do not want young people to be badly influenced by this, so teach them about sexuality, support the sexual education movements in school, so they can talk to them about how to take care of themselves, how to be mature before a sexual experience, and more important, how to know when someone really manipulates them to sexually abuse them

neither Moy, nor I are doing anything bad, the only thing we want is to have fun with our friends, enjoy being in a fandom and share our drawings, and not necessarily nsfw, because the nsfw is only 4% of our time between jokes , ideas, creations and drawings, we do not want anything from Funnylunetta other than her friendship, she is not being manipulated in any way to do anything wrong why something I can tell you, Funnylunetta is an extraordinary girl, and not because her art is good or her characters beautiful, of course not, she is a very nice girl, who cares for others, who is always willing to give you her shoulder, she is ambitious and very sweet, and she is extremely mature, I would have liked to have her mental maturity at her age, to make the decisions that she takes now, when I was 15-16 years old, I made many mistakes, I had many bad friends , I did many silly things, she is not like that, she even advised us to do in this situation, and her words and advice have calmed me down a lot Also, I know that many people have attacked Moy, not because of this issue, I know that this is just an excuse because many are resentful, believe that Moy is pretentious, that he is selfish and that he harasses beginner artists

Well, people have been able to say bad things about her, I know Moy a little over a year ago, I hurt her once, and I've always repented of that, she apologizes and she knew how to forgive me, and it's something that I treasure. Moy is not perfect, but since I've known her I've never seen her attacking anyone who has not harmed her first, I've never seen her harassing beginner artists, nor have I seen her wanting to destroy someone (even with this situation, only she's scared) it's true that many of her fans are upset that she rejected her ocs for the spider groups and those things, well, I think you should know how to put on her shoes Moy is Korean, as you all know, the Asian countries are highly strict, and if you do not do something right, they do not accept it and they tell you coldly, she is used to it, she does not tell you that you do the wrong things to treat her badly , if she tells you that you have done something wrong, it is because she tries to guide you on how to do it well, some people should know how to take a rejection besides, also Moy is in his right to allow certain people in his life, do you get upset because she did not let you be her friend? Well, you have no right to get angry, it's your decision, it's your life, not yours

Another thing that I want to emphasize, is that Puppo has also been saying that I told her to kill herself and go to hell Well, I will not lie that when people make me angry, I say things that I later regret, but no, I did not say that to her, and here I have the proof

I'm not proud of this, this post is aimed at anons who started attacking me

She was talking about this post, it's not a post I did to her, where I mentioned her that I hated her, and that's all, back then it was between August and September, months after a best friend I had, did something horrible to me, something I do not want to explain for being very personal and is not anyone you know, but the post above was not for her, and I understand that she was confused, but I would not tell her that, because after all, she was my friend

Yes, for those who have been following me for a long time, they know that Puppo and I were good friends at the beginning of 2018, I had a lot of appreciation, and even support her after something bad happened to her, but in July of that same year, she block after knowing that I liked the cupcest, yes, i ship cupcest, is not something that I presume, it's just something I like, I do not seek to normalize incest, nor less I would like that pair to be a canon, it's something I do for fun, and everyone is in his right not to like it, because it's okay, we do not all like the same things, but just block me after several months being friends, well, it's not something I'm happy

In short, I regret that the post is so looong, I wanted to vent a little, I carry this in my chest for days, I have not been well, maybe puppo thinks that saved many people from another pedophile of the world, but, I am not a pedophile , and I have spent very horrible days, I almost do not sleep, I wake up afraid to read some new accusation inveterate, I have almost not eaten well, even a friend blocked me without giving explanations, and a madman who did not even know who he was began to talk about what disappointed that my family would be Well, it is not, my mother is worried, and angry with Puppo's actions, my close friends know it, and they are worried about my situation.

Finally, I do not want you to go and attack puppo when you realize that she did something wrong, do not do it, please, if she tried to do something good, she did it wrong, everyone make mistakes, and it hurts people who do not deserve it, The only thing I want with this is to not talk about it anymore, to stop believing cheese and a bad person, if you do not like what I do, well, do not follow me, but I'm not doing anything bad, or hurting anyone

if even after reading this you hate me, then maybe the problem is you, because you do not know me, you do not know how I am, you do not know how to act, and you prefer to trust a post with words taken out of context to judge me, and that well, it's wrong

[sulietsexual]

Without sparing my feelings, tell me exactly how you feel about Delena! Damon and Elena are bad for each other in many ways, of course, yet is there anyone you thought would be better for both of them (like, the way things are in the show)? I honestly have so many questions about Delena for you haha. I'm obsessed with them right now!!

Okay, so like, I can objectively see that Damon and Elena are toxic and unhealthy and obsessive and completely lost in one another to the point where they can’t really function without each other but you know what? I freakin’ love them. I never thought I would enjoy the pairing as much as I do but there is something so addictive about Delena as a ship, something twisted and dark and totally fucked up but so damn appealing. And I think that it is a ship which was built really well and developed really organically (possibly with the exception of Season 6 but we’ll get into that later).

I’m currently re-watching the series from the beginning and, even though there’s nothing romantic between Damon and Elena in Season 1, you can clearly see that there is a connection between them. Damon genuinely likes Elena (again, not in a romantic sense) but just as a person and Elena is the first person in a long time to acknowledge Damon’s feelings and offer him sympathy and empathy. They also connect due to their love for Stefan; neither can completely dislike or hurt the other because they recognise how much they both love Stefan and how much it would hurt him if they hurt each other. It’s kind of beautiful that the reason they bond is because they recognise this depth of love in one another, even if it’s not yet love for each other.

I also think that Elena understands the deep and obsessive love Damon has for Katherine because, on some level, she is capable of the same sort of dark and obsessive love (as we see later in the series when she does finally fall for Damon). But part of Elena really identifies with this emotionally charged, deep, dark love and I think this makes Damon intriguing to her, even if she doesn’t hold any romantic feelings for him.

I don’t think that Elena has any sort of romantic feelings for Damon until Season 3. While they do share a few moments throughout Seasons 1 and 2, Elena’s love for Stefan is too strong and too pure for her to allow any attraction to Damon to disrupt that. She is very steadfast in her love for Stefan for the first two seasons, even when she does share moments with Damon. But all that changes in Season 3, which is one of my favourite seasons for the pairing.

With Stefan off being all Ripper-like, Elena is forced to confront his dark side which, IMO, makes her see that he’s actually not all that different from Damon and I think that revelation lessens her guilt over her attraction to Damon and opens her up to her feelings for him. Over Season 3 we see Elena really connect with Damon as they try to save Stefan and the more time she spends with him, the deeper her emotions run, until she can’t hold back anymore and she finally acknowledges how much she feels for him when they are staying together in the motel. That scene where they run outside and kiss is one of my favourite Delena kisses because it’s a release of a year’s worth of built up attraction, Elena finally giving in to her feelings and letting go, and it’s beautiful and charged and sexy as hell.

I’ve seen the argument over and over in the fandom that if Elena hadn’t been turned into a vampire, she and Damon would never have gotten together and I actually agree with this statement. As a human, despite her very real and deep feelings for Damon, Elena probably would have returned to Stefan. But the thing is, Elena was turned into a vampire. That is part of her story. It doesn’t matter what she would have done if she hadn’t been turned because she was turned and this provided the gateway for her and Damon to finally give into their feelings entirely.

Okay, so let’s address the giant elephant in the room; the sire bond. I get why fans hated this storyline. I understand why some argue that the sire bond was the reason Elena fell for Damon. But I don’t agree with it and I also don’t believe that the sire bond was put into the storyline to force Delena to happen. I actually think it was worked into the storyline for an entirely different reason.

I think that when the decision was made to turn Elena into a vampire, the writers wanted her to go through the whole vampire experience, including feeding off and killing people. I think they really wanted to explore a darker version of Elena but, given what we already knew about her character and how she was portrayed within the narrative as a “good” and “pure” character, they were backed into a corner because it wouldn’t be in-keeping with her character for her to suddenly start feeding on humans and showing no regard for human life. So they created the sire bond in order to link her need to feed to that, in order to make it so she initially had to feed off humans because Damon told her to. They then used the sire bond to switch off Elena’s humanity (which she never would have done on her own accord) so they could explore the darkest version of the character they could and have her commit murder without consequence.

But I don’t believe that the sire bond was put there in order to make Delena happen. Elena’s feelings for Damon had been building for all of Season 3. She was already in love with him when she turned and, as the show itself points out, the sire bond happened because those feelings were already in place. Once Damon shut off her humanity, the bond was broken, and yet when Elena turned her humanity back on, her feelings for Damon remained and, as a vampire, she could finally freely give in to them and be with Damon without guilt or fear. She chooses Damon at the end of Season 4 freely and she never wavers in that decision over the next two seasons.

Now let’s talk about Season 5 Delena, because I freakin’ love Season 5 Delena! I love the intensity and the passion, the happiness they share, the complete and utter joy they bring out in one another. I love the ups and downs, Elena finding out that Damon is still killing, Damon trying to break up with her because he doesn’t feel that he’s good enough for her, Elena fighting to get back to him, admitting that while she knows he’s dangerous and toxic and reckless and he makes her question everything, she still loves him, utterly and completely. I love the two of them holding hands and driving into the Grill, dying together and trusting that they will find their way back to each other. Elena once said that Damon consumes her and I think this is never illustrated better than in Season 5, where she questions everything about Damon and about their relationship but she cannot fall out of love with him. It’s messed up and obsessive and unhealthy and it’s also amazing and addictive and absolutely breathtaking to watch.

Then there’s Season 6 … I have some issues with the writing of the pairing this season. I understand that the writers wanted to show that Elena fell for Damon of her own accord and that it wasn’t the sire bond which made her fall in love but erasing her memories was a huge misstep (at least for me).

I understand why Elena elected to erase her memories of Damon. She was in so much pain after his death. Elena has lost so many people but she believed that if there was one person who would never leave her, it was Damon. She had committed to eternity with him and suddenly being faced with the prospect of spending it without him was just too overwhelming for her and I think it was the perfect way to show just how fully and obsessively she loved him. I also really like the scenes where Alaric forced her to dig deep and figure out exactly when she fell for Damon, the point of no return for her. But I hated that Alaric was unable to restore her memories (because it felt like such a cheap trick to keep Damon and Elena apart) and then I didn’t feel that they developed Elena’s new feelings for Damon all that well.

I can’t quite explain it properly but it felt to me that they rushed Elena’s re-developing feelings for Damon. For the first time in the course of the entire pairing, I didn’t feel it from Elena. I could see that the writers were trying to show how Damon still teased out the same feelings in Elena that he had before she lost her memories, that they still had the same connection, but a lot of it fell flat for me, at least until the last handful of episodes of the season. And that kind of sucked for me, because until then, I enjoyed the hell out of the pairing.

Once Elena regains her memories and everything came flooding back for her, I felt the connection to the ship re-spark for me and I especially loved that Damon’s love for Elena had become so good and strong and devoted that he wanted to take the Cure with her. I loved his speech about how he was willing to risk everything for the chance at a normal life with her. And their final goodbye after Elena is put under Kai’s spell, with them dancing in the street together was beautiful and one of the best moments of their relationship.

Even though the Delena pairing has a lot of toxicity and is unhealthily obsessive and co-dependent, I really love it, because it’s messy and broken and complex and dark and twisted. It’s such an interesting and addictive ship and I can really understand now why it was so popular during the show’s initial run.

Oh, and to answer your question of whether I think there is anyone better for them, well, technically Stefan was better for Elena, at least when she was human, but I think that she grew out of that relationship and that the person she was by the end of her run on the series wasn’t someone who was still compatible with Stefan. And while I like Katherine and Damon’s dynamic (and the way it plays into the Delena dynamic) I honestly don’t think there was a better match for Damon than Elena once she became a vampire, because she really understood his darker impulses and his deeper nature better than anyone else on the show.

[magpiefngrl]

17) if you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be?

Thanks for the ask! 

What people want to do with their writing differs. Some write for fun, to have a laugh with the rest of the fandom/community; it’s a hobby. Some are trying to see if they’ve got what it takes to become professional writers; some just like the ship and have no interest beyond that. They’re all valid reasons to write. My advice is to the kind of fledgling author I used to be, the one who wanted to be a professional and wanted their writing to be decent, and it’s this:

Read a lot

Write a lot

Step out of your comfort zone

Attend workshops/read writing guides/be open to critique 

[discussion under the cut ‘cause it’s looooooong]

1. Read a lot

It goes without saying; reading is what feeds a writer. I did a travel writing workshop once and the editor told us that he could always tell from someone’s writing what they’d been reading. What one reads the most comes through in one’s writing whether they intend it or not. This “or not” is why I’ve been vigilant ever since to avoid reading anything that I don’t want to be influenced by: gossip mags, for instance, or run-of-the-mill urban fantasy.

As for fic writers, I’d suggest reading the best examples of writing in your fandom. Read them often and try to see what it is about them that you love and you’d like to emulate: is it the banter? The prose? The UST and emotions? The plot? How did the author do it? Tip #4 below helps with that.

I’d also strongly advise resisting the temptation to read only fic. Like the editor above, now I can usually tell if an author has been consuming only fanfic, because the sentences sound familiar. Fanfic can be restrictive when it’s the only thing you consume. People like to rail against published books on tumblr, but as someone who actually wants to be published one day, that attitude irritates me. It’s also false. There’s a ton of marvellous stuff out there, books from people from all over the world, books with great prose or great plot, books from marginalised authors, classics that are classics for a reason, new authors doing incredible stuff. 

tl;dr: read the best writing you can get your hands on (incl. published books) as often as you can

2. Write a lot

This also goes without saying. Writing is a skill; the more you practice, the better you become at it. Fic is amazing for it! You practice writing plot, dialogue, characterisation, description. You might insert on original character or two.

At the beginning, a new writer’s output might not be as amazing as what they’d like it to be, but recognising that it’s not there yet is actually a huge step in improving. So write loads, and don’t be afraid to write things no one will see. Set a word count target (you could join a community such as @gywo​) and try to reach that target. It could be 300 words a day or 2k words every weekend or a total of 12k a month, whatever works for you. Make writing a habit. Ask people here to prompt you, write off-the-cuff. Some of it won’t be great – to you. But there’ll always be a reader who loves the quick drabble you wrote. And even if the post goes unnoticed, move on. Write the next drabble/fic, and then the next. Just keep writing and keep making it the best you can.

tl;dr: write your arse off

3. Step out of your comfort zone

This tip isn’t one you usually see in these kinds of lists, but to me it’s an important one. What I mean is that complacency can be a writer’s biggest enemy. Say you’ve reached a decent writing level, you’ve got some readers, you’re having fun writing your fics. They’re becoming popular so you think you’re doing something right and write some more in the same vein. This is all good, but it might also lead to stagnation.

Stepping out of your comfort zone shakes things up. This advice relates to the other tips. First, read something that you normally avoid, esp. if people are saying it’s a fantastic piece of writing. My thinking is that if X fic has rave reviews but happens to be mpreg (which I loathe), the benefits of being exposed to the great writing outweigh the mpreg–and I can always skim through that part. Do consider your triggers if you have any and look after yourself, but also don’t confuse them with dislikes. 

Reading outside your genre is a great way to shake things up: if you’re into Eighth-Year drarry, read them as fifty-year-olds. If you only read Auror case fics, read a smoking-hot PWP or an achingly-cute domestic drarry. If the books you buy are all adult sci-fi, try this contemporary YA everyone’s been raving about. Read poetry, if you don’t! Even if you don’t get it. Just read it, consider the word choices and put it aside. You don’t have to read outside your comfort zone all the time, but try to do it with some regularity and make sure you choose great quality works. 

Same with writing: if you write in one genre, try writing a story in another. Maybe you’ll fuck it up. No one needs to see it. At least you’ve tried. This is where workshops or writing exercises come in handy. Recently I took part in one where some drarry authors wrote a paragraph with sentences up to seven words, and another that was only one sentence. Imagine writing a 200-word sentence! You’ll probably never use it in your life, but it’s such a great way to practise sentence structure and see the effect it has on tone and pacing. Prompts can help as well: some of the AU prompts I received were things I longed to write, but others were harder. Some I fucked up. But I wrote a flower shop fic for a friend, which is something I’d never in my life write willingly lol, and it turned out wonderful and it’s actually become very popular. I’m currently writing a historical AU, which is def outside my comfort zone, and it’s taking me ages, but it also forces me to examine it from all angles to find how to make it work for me, and that means I get to learn a bit more about writer-me. 

Writing outside your comfort zone is also about writing things that might make you emotional. Natalie Goldberg’s writing book (mentioned above) was one of the first I read and it’s influenced me a great deal: she says that when you feel choked up or upset or emotional while writing a scene, keep writing. You’ve tapped into a vein. Digging deep in a character’s psyche might make you uncomfortable, sure; it means digging deep inside yourself and some dark parts of you that you might not necessarily like. Keep going. For me, that’s what pushes someone’s writing from good to amazing. It’s why some fics stand out, get recced loads and are lauded, even if they don’t have a huge amount of kudos.

tl;dr: read books outside your genre, do writing exercises and write things that make you emotional 

4. Attend workshops/read writing guides/be open to critique

Let me repeat that this is advice for people who want their writing to be better and who possibly want to go pro. If you’re writing as a hobby, you needn’t pay attention to this. For the rest: learning the technical aspects of the craft can make a huge difference in your writing.

At first, you might enjoy a fic and not know why. Workshops and writing guides can help you identify what it is you liked. You’ll be able to examine a novel with a different eye when you’re familiar with the 3-act structure rather than go “wow, the pacing was amazing, I couldn’t put this down, but I don’t know why”.

There are dozens of writing guides out there. After reading more than thirty, I can confirm they get repetitive after a while. But read a couple of them, at the very least. Check if your library has: Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg, Steering the Craft by Ursula Le Guin (though I wouldn’t rec this one if you’re completely new), On Writing by King, Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott (which is also really funny). 

Attending a workshop/accepting critique is the hardest to arrange. It requires other people, you can’t read it or borrow it from your library. Now, I’ve heard from people who attended creative writing seminars that they were in class with a bunch of idiots who had strong opinions as to what’s literature and what’s not. If that’s something you’d rather not face, then there are creative writing MOOCs around where people are kinder and more supportive. I’ve taken several and am a huge advocate of them. You can audit a MOOC (watch the video with the lecture, do the reading, skip the assignment) but participating will help the most. You might get 1-2 or even 15 people commenting on your work, telling you what worked and what didn’t. Some common elements will arise: perhaps everyone liked the dialogue, but many felt the description was lacking. It’s not a pleasant feeling, but you’ll have a clearer idea of what works and what doesn’t. Examining each piece of critique and seeing if you agree or not with it is a big step in improving.

Having your work betaed is of course the number one thing you can do to improve, and having a good beta is invaluable–and not always easy to find. Try to find a good beta. Finally, If you’re in a fandom community, see if you can arrange a workshop thing with your friends. Just make sure that you’re all on board with critiquing each other’s writing with kindness, but also not just squeeing. Squeeing can take place with critiquing, it’s not mutually exclusive. 

tl;dr: learn the technical aspects of the craft and learn to accept critique

Thanks for the ask! I hope you don’t mind such a detailed answer :))

[leofemt]

Being a fic writer is a horrible, thankless, vain pursuit. This is an objective fact.

tl;dr: I prove it: on two opposing fic- for both of which this meta-writer vouches for the quality- less than 10% of readers left kudos, and less than 1% commented.

A few facts:

Let's take one fic. A Tiger & Bunny fic for a rarepair. Personally, I love this fic. This is the best fanfiction of all time. Every time I reread it, I end up in tears and almost incapable of finishing it. It's long, artful, and emotionally devastating. It should have a great reception, right? No.

This fic has been on ao3 for more than 5 years. In its time, it's gotten almost 2.5k hits- not bad for a rarepair. It's almost 80k words long. I can personally vouch for the quality. Do you see how many comments it has? 23.

Of course, this can vary by popularity of the subject matter you're writing for- I've written a 7k fic that has more individual comments than this, just because the pairing is popular- but generally speaking, this is the case. Let's turn to some statistical analysis.

What percentage of fic readers leave kudos? In this case, 145 out of 2483 readers who opened this fic left kudos. 145/2483=0.0584, so 5.8% of fic readers leave kudos. (This doesn't account for quality of writing or people who are just trying out a ship, but even that's not that large a margin.) 6% of your readers will take the time to click a button to say "I enjoyed this!". 6%. 

Of course, that can be the case for other forms of art as well, in which case you shrug and say, producing art sucks, viewers take what they want and leave, let's move on. (If I were to do an analysis of the difference in response to popular fanart-type artists, though, I would look at view vs rt statistics on twitter. One place where this differs is: profit. Making actual money. How many artists do you know sell some kind of merch, or have a patreon, or do commissions? Probably a good number of relatively popular ones. How many writers do you know sell hardback copies of their fic? None, probably, unless you personally know EL James. How many writers do you know who actually get commissions? I don't know about you, but I can think of maybe 3 off the top of my head. Visual art is much quicker to consume than written art, and much easier to propogate, since it takes little effort to take in. How many visual artists take open requests on their blogs, instead of commissions? How many writers? A clear pattern starts to emerge.)

And now we move on to the most depressing part- comments. Of course it means a lot whenever someone comments, even if it's a few words of encouragement or telling the author you enjoyed their work. What percentage of fic readers leave comments? This example fic has 23 comments. 23 comments after writing almost 80k words, and I know for a fact that 3 of those comments are mine. This author doesn't reply to comments (which is relatively common, and don't take it personally- it doesn't mean they don't take your words to heart), so this is 23 individual readers who expressed their appreciation for this work. 23 comments out of 2483 hits: 23/2483=0.00926, or 0.93%. Less than 1% of readers left comments on this 80k behemoth of a fic. And 13% of that less than 1% is me. 

Of course, you can say, how do you know an abnormally large amount of people didn't just open this fic, decide it wasn't for them, and close it again? Maybe this is the Spider Georg of fanfiction. This is not the case, but if you propose the challenge, I will prove it to you. 145 readers enjoyed this fic enough to read all the way to the end to leave kudos. Don't forget that this is only a little less than 6%. 23 comments out of 145 kudos-leavers: 23/145=0.1586, or a little less than 16%. Of readers who liked this fic enough to leave kudos, 15.9% liked it enough to leave a comment. On normal fics, a comment isn't even that long- probably a sentence or two, unless the commenter is particularly moved, or happens to be me- and only 16% of the 6% that deigned to leave kudos decided to leave one. For an 80k word fic. I haven't even looked to see how many of them are followers of the fic who had commented on multiple chapters as they were published. 

What kind of response can you expect for your work, you ask? Surely, if I'm good enough, you think, the praise will come flowing in. Surely, you say, others will see the brilliance of my idea. Tough shit, Pinocchio. Writing sucks. Readers suck. Writers grovel for any kind of recognition of their work. On this fic, 23 comments were left on a total of 78491 words. 23/78491 is such a small number that my calculator went into scientific notation to try and figure out comments per word. The number is 0.000293 comments per word. Of course, no one expects a comment per word, so let's extrapolate a bit- let's see how many comments this fic got per 1k words. 0.000293*1000 is 0.293, or about .3. Less than a third of a comment per thousand words- and remember, average comment length is a couple sentences, or a series of emojis, or, "I like this!!!!! Thanks <3", which takes the average human maybe twenty seconds to write. Despite this, and despite the fic having nearly 2500 hits, only 23 users commented. 

And 3 of them were me.

If this doesn't convince you of the futility of writing, and that if you are a fan-content writer, or want to be one, not to base your writing's worth on the amount of comments or make yourself miserable catering to the whims of the masses, I don't know what will. For balance's sake, let's observe another case study. The fic I think is my most popular one- the aforementioned 6.6k fic- was written in 2016, over the span of a week and two days. It's for a popular pairing in a popular fandom.

8110 hits?! You shriek. For less than 7k words? While that other masterpiece, by a writer far greater than you, had only a measly 2.5k hits?!

Let me calculate it- this fic recieved 8110 hits for 6633 words: 8110/6633=1.223 hits per word. That's more than a hit per word, which is outrageous, but that's beside the point. This statistic in itself should convince you that popularity as a writer is based not on your actual talent or skill but on both the whims of the massless entity dubbed "the readership" and the objective popularity of your subject matter. Writing blows. Writing for an audience blows. Never write for anyone but yourself, if you choose to write at all, and if you do, do not be disheartened by a lack of reception. Readers take writers for granted. This is a given fact. 

I'll do the same calculations I had done in the previous case study. In this case, of 8110 hits, 745 users decided it was good enough to leave kudos. (Again- this is literally the act of pressing a button. Not too strenuous, though appreciated.) 745/8110=0.0919, or 9.2%- so performing a little better than the 80k rarepair fic, though not by much. This is still <10% of readers. 

Further, on the subject of comments- this fic garnered 33 comments, none of which I, the author replied to, just like the case of the previous fic. 33 comments from 8110 hits: 33/8110=0.004069, or 0.41%. What does this mean? This means that, firstly, larger viewships are sometimes a curse, because of something like the bystander effect- more popular ships means more material by other amazing authors, and less focus concentrated on one work- and secondly, this statistic is no different from the first case. Unless a fic gets wildly popular in itself, and becomes a staple and a brand-name and all those other things, you can expect little to no return on any investment you put into writing. This is a terrible fact and a solid truth. 

Readers are thankless, insatiable, demanding consumers who take for granted that the stories they crave will be there, prepared for them, and give little thought to the author behind the characters. Of course, this is the case in the professional writing industry as well, which is why writing is an undertaking that can only be undertaken with one purpose- something within the author that compels them to write. Writing sucks. Objectively, if you're looking for ways to be validated in your work, it's a waste of time, and sometimes I wish I could take all the fanfiction archives on the internet down for a day or two, just to see readers panic. People take for granted what has always been there. Don't write unless you want to.

Readers- the consumers I've bashed so thoroughly- if you are a fic consumer, and you've read all the way to the end, I implore you- show some gratitude. If you are someone who regularly leaves kudos and comments on fic you love, congratulations. You're probably some writer's favorite person. If not- well, I don't have much to say to you. Books should be free, but fan content writers write for less than free- they write at a loss. Appreciate them, just a little. Every time I see a writer groveling for a handful of comments, the lack of respect for something so many people claim they "love to read" and "don't know what they would do without" makes me hate "the readership" even more. Being a writer is a thankless, horrible, useless pursuit, because few people care deeply enough to do more than consume the content and leave- you can make it not so much so, just a little bit. Just a few words, and you could bump that comments button up a number. You could be the reason that percentage improves. All it takes is to give back, just a little, to the people who provide you your fan-content for free, at the expense of their own time.