#this is why colour blindness is so problematic

[infjinthecity]

Hi Tumblr, What's Up?

Hello Tumblr! Can you believe I have existed in fandom spaces for this long and have never been on this platform? It seems that Tumblr is fandom’s MVP but I just never made the trek over this way – anyways, I’m here now. If you’re reading this, it’s probably because I told you about it on one of the other social media platforms and you probably at least know that I’ve very recently packed up my life and moved to China! I’ve been trying to figure out the best way to document my experiences here, and although we live in a visual era, I’m just not interested in being in front of a camera. I love to write and want to talk about my journey, so a blog seems like the best fit for me.

So, why China? Despite the fandom spaces that I occupy, my decision to move to China had absolutely nothing to do with Zhang Yixing or Wang Yibo. When people ask me why I made this change, I jokingly tell them it was an act of sheer desperation, but really, although I’ve always been joking when I’ve said that, it’s not too far from the truth. If you’re interested in learning why I moved to China and hearing about my experiences here, I hope you’ll stick around.  

Desperate Times, Desperate Measures

If you don’t know, I’m Australian but I have spent the majority of the last 14 years living and teaching in the United States. I worked in Los Angeles for 11 years and then in New York City for another 2 before I packed myself and my cat up and went back to Australia. I left the United States for three main reasons – all of which were related to my job. In no particular order, because they were all as problematic for me as each other, I left because of low teacher pay, egregious student behaviour, and the insanely high workload. In short, I was b u r n e d o u t. A lot of Western countries are experiencing a teacher shortage right now, and America is definitely leading the charge. There is a reason why people are fleeing the profession, and most of them are rooted the same reasons that I left the country.

I went back to Australia naively thinking that work was going to be better there. I grew up there and went to school there, and I completed my teacher training in Australia.  When I went through my university degree and prac assignments in Victoria, the job was definitely not this. So I returned  home with rose-coloured glasses thinking that teaching would be far superior in Australia than the experiences I was having in the United States. Boy, was I ever wrong! While the kids in Australia don’t have guns like they do in the U.S., their attitudes towards education and teachers in general is very reminiscent of what is going on in the U.S, and schools are still places of violence and conflict. I can’t speak for the private system, but all my friends in the public system say the same thing. And honestly, teacher workload in Australia is not lesser than that of the U.S., so I found myself – again - completely stressed out all the time, despite making this huge change that was supposed to better my life. That coupled with the outrageous cost of living in Australia (my god things got really expensive while I was living abroad) prompted a pervasive idea that just would not stop taunting me. The voice inside me kept saying I can’t do this anymore.

And so, it became clear that I had a choice to make: either stop teaching altogether or find somewhere to teach that isn’t going to break me. I did not initially consider China but as I continued to research my options, all roads always lead right here – The People’s Republic of China.

And, to cut a very long story (which I will elaborate on in other posts) short, here I am!

Right Here, Right Now

I’ve been here for 38 days now and it’s been the mother of all whirlwinds, for sure. I had been to China twice before on holidays (one of those holidays was to scope out my city and my school) so it wasn’t like I was coming into the country blind, like so many other foreigners do, but even so, it’s been hard. Very hard. Maybe one of the hardest things I’ve ever done? Probably.

I don’t speak the language very well, despite all the lessons I’ve been taking. Man, nothing tests your skills like absolute immersion and being surrounded by people who don’t speak a lick of your native language. I’m an articulate, educated person and here I’m reduced to a blubbering mess who stumbles and fumbles over sentence fragments, and fragments of fragments! The language is going to take time. A lot of time.

I’ve had many low points, and there were a few days a couple of weeks ago when I was legitimately considering throwing in the towel and going home. But, I am still here, so obviously I didn’t do that. And I’m glad I didn’t because it’s getting easier and all the things I love about China are starting to overshadow all the hard things that make me feel like living here is impossible.

My cat is arriving from Australia on October 11 so we’re here for the longer haul after that. I can’t take him back to Australia from China (I’ll make a post about that later) so we either stay till he dies, or we exit and live in another country for a year before returning home. Don’t worry, I have an exit strategy planned if I need it, I just don’t want to need it, if you get me.

I’ll be blogging about teaching here, my fandom experiences (of which, I’ve already been lucky enough to have some of), travel, and general thoughts and insights on what it’s like to live in China as a foreigner.

I hope you stick around because this place is crazy and I’ve got so much to tell you all. If you’ve got questions, I’m happy to answer them. I'm new to this Tumblr thing so be kind and patient with me while I work it all out!

Till next time, peace.

[cuffmeinblack]

The ship that literally no one asked for.

Edit: part 2 is on ao3

You need only ask

Ominis Gaunt x Garreth Weasley

Fluff, some implied smut at the end maybe?, 3k words

Garreth had always found Ominis Gaunt somewhat fascinating. He wondered how the wizard was so adept considering his blindness, and his relationship with his wand was one of the mysteries withing Hogwarts' walls. He was a typical Slytherin in many ways, though also not at all in many others—the contrast of his pureblood heritage and descendance from Slytherin himself with his public loathing of the dark arts was unexpected—but he was cunning, ambitious and all of those other things one would expect from a member of his house. He was also, in Garreth's opinion, the most handsome boy he'd ever laid eyes on—more so since he'd returned from the Summer holidays in their final year.

Garreth didnt often find himself distracted in Potions class but he had to admit that keeping his attention on his cauldron had become a bit of a problem of late. His eyes would flick away from whatever experimental concoction he was secretly brewing and drift across the room towards the bench where Ominis usually sat with Sebastian. He would allow himself to stare for a little while before shaking his head and resuming his work, but he was becoming an increasingly problematic distraction. It was obvious to Garreth why—Ominis had lost the boyish, youthful look from his face, his high cheekbones giving him an angular look. Against his pale skin, flecked with moles, the shadows were even more pronounced, giving him an almost ethereal beauty which Garreth found irrestible. He was certainly intimidating, not only because of his elegant, aristocratic appearance, but because of his sarcastic drawl and sharp wit.

He was also incredibly stubborn—Ominis was bright and brilliant in most of his classes, but he struggled with Potions. The subject wasn't very forgiving when it came to his blindness, where do much of the art of brewing was reliant on colour, texture and fumes to judge the progress of the potion. It was also difficult for him to accurately weigh and prepare ingredients, and Garreth often found himself frowning in Ominis' direction as he struggled, wondering why on earth his best friend stood idly by and watched. He supposed Ominis hadn't asked for help, perhaps out of pride.

So, it was only natural that Garreth found himself gravitating towards the Slytherin, eventually regularly setting up his cauldron on the adjacent bench. The prime position not only afforded Garreth a spectacular view, but also enabled him to subtly offer his assistance. If Ominis was so insistent on struggling in silence, Garreth would simply take matters into his own hands and what Ominis didn't know wouldn't hurt him. He started with small gestures such as walking past his workstation and placing ingredients next to his hand which he would need to use, sometimes he would flick his wand to silently reduce the flame under his cauldron if he noticed his mixture boiling over. Garreth couldn't help but smile as his performance gradually improved, drawing the attention of Professor Sharp who complimented his improvement and awarded ten points to Slytherin whilst Ominis simply frowned and looked completely dumbfounded by his change in luck.

-

Ominis had noticed his change in fortunes during Potions—the ingredients he found arranged for him, the way his concoctions would mysteriously settle to a simmer after nearly boiling over, and his improving practical grades which he couldn't attribute to any sort of improvement in his ability. He thought that Sebastian must be helping him, finally growing tired of Ominis' stubborn refusal to ask for, or accept, his assistance. He didn't want to press the subject, but it irked Ominis that Sebastian would subvert his wishes, even if it ultimately benefitted him.

So it came as a surprise that Ominis' performance in Potions was particularly bad this week, and he wondered if Sebastian was distracted, or had finally decided to withdraw his help, realising that Ominis would neither ask for it or thank him directly.

"Sebastian," Ominis muttered across the table.

"Mmmm?"

"Are you angry with me?"

"What? Why would I be angry with you?" Sebastian asked.

"I've noticed you're not assisting me as much this week, my Wiggenweld potion is utter rubbish. Wish I could just replace it with one from J. Pippin's…," Ominis sighed.

"What are you talking about, Ominis?"

Ominis simply frowned and waited for Sebastian's brain to catch up. When the silence stretched on, he finally elaborated.

"I notice the little things you do to help, you know," Ominis explained.

"I don't…I mean I would, but you won't let me."

Ominis wasn't sure how to process his answer—had he imagined the whole thing, or was Sebastian lying to avoid Ominis' annoyance? He shook his head and lapsed into silence as he received another poor grade from Sharp, who appeared to be regretting his recent praise. Ominis mulled over the situation on the way to dinner after their lesson ended—what was different this week? The only difference he could think of was the absence of resident experimental potion brewer Garreth Weasley. The Gryffindor was a talented potions student but often spent his time in and out of lessons thinking up increasingly elaborate concoctions to force on unsuspecting first years in the name of science. Ominis picked at his food as he turned the thoughts over until Sebastian nudged him hard in the arm, causing him to wince. 

"What's wrong with you?" Sebastian asked, his voice low.

"Just thinking about something," Ominis muttered.

"Obviously, what?"

"I've noticed things in our potions classes, things I can't really explain."

"Does this have to do with Sharp's comment earlier?" Sebastian asked.

"Yes. I thought you were helping me because I noticed ingredients appearing near me whenever I needed them…"

"Are you sure? Maybe you'd just missed them on the desk before."

"No, I'd missed some of them in the store cupboard. And sometimes my mixture will be on the brink of boiling over and the flame will right itself before I even have a chance to react."

"Huh," Sebastian said, clearly unbelieving.

"You think I'm imagining it don't you? But this week my performance has been awful, and I can't understand what's changed."

"Maybe you're just tired, Ominis," Sebastian muttered.

"Maybe."

-

Garreth returned to classes on Monday after a week cooped up in the hospital wing under quarantine with a nasty case of Dragon Pox. His face still itched slightly but the unsightly scabs on his torso were thankfully covered by his school uniform—the worst ones were on his scalp, and he had been dousing his long red hair in oils to relieve the incessant need to scratch and claw at his head. Thankfully, distraction from his unfortunate skin condition came from the object of his desire as he settled onto the bench next to him in their first potions lesson since his absence. He wondered with a guilty pang if Ominis had been struggling for the past week, and he shot an annoyed look at Sebastian, who was busy reading his textbook.

They were brewing Edurus potion, something that Garreth had perfected already and he was thoroughly bored as he threw his ingredients in the cauldron and lowered the heat to simmer the mixture. He glanced over at Ominis, who was reading the recipe with his wand pointed at the page as Garreth noticed that the ashwinder eggs on his chopping board were likely far too small to sufficiently balance the rest of his ingredients. He bit his lip and flicked his eyes over Ominis and Sebastian who were both still concentrating on their books. Garreth muttered a levitation charm and pointed it at the eggs on his table, floating it over to the pile next to him. That should be sufficient.

"What are you up to, Weasley?" a voice called at him.

He whipped his head up to find Sebastian staring at him with narrowed eyes.

"What? Nothing…just the usual…don't tell Sharp."

"You know what I mean, I saw you point your wand over here," Sebastian said, his angry eyes boring into his skull.

"No I didn't, what are you talking about?" Garreth spluttered, the heat rising in his cheeks.

Sebastian obviously knew he couldn't prove anything, so he dipped his head, reluctantly dropping his accusatory gaze back to his textbook and began stirring his cauldron. Garreth's heart pounded in his chest as he looked between Sebastian and Ominis, who had been listening to the exchange with interest and a slightly furrowed brow. Garreth finished his potion, delivering the perfect draft to Sharp who remarked that he was pleased to see Garreth 'focusing on the task at hand for once' and fled the room at the first opportunity.

-

Of course Ominis had been listening to the accusatory exchange between his best friend and Garreth Weasley, and the coincidence didn't sit right with him. He couldn't fathom the reason for his interference with his potion brewing , but he was determined to find it out. Ominis found Garreth outside of the Gryffindor common room before breakfast the following day, as he leaned against the wall next to the portrait of the Fat Lady, who kept accusing him of spying on her house. Garreth stepped out of the portrait hole and thankfully spotted Ominis.

"Ominis, are you…okay?" he said as he approached.

"Ah, Garreth. May I have a word?" Ominis asked.

"Oh, yes alright. How can I help?"

"Have you been tampering with my cauldron in potions?" Ominis said, crossing his arms.

"What? No! Not tampering. I just…wanted to help," Garreth muttered in reply.

So Ominis hadn't imagined it, after all. The confusion made way for anger as he tried to control his temper.

"Fiddling with my work without my permission is called tampering, Weasley."

"I'm sorry, I just noticed Sallow wasn't helping you and you never ask…"

"There's a reason I don't ask. I'm quite capable of making my own mistakes and owning them."

"Right, of course. I'll stop, sorry."

Ominis turned to leave but stopped himself, his curiosity getting the better of him.

"Why?" he asked.

"What?" 

"Why are you helping me?"

Garreth sighed and shuffled his feet, moving closer to Ominis and lowering his voice.

"I like you," he whispered.

"You like me?" Ominis replied with a frown.

"Yes. You know."

"Oh. Oh." Ominis' face flushed as the meaning dawned on him.

"Sorry, I know you don't really talk to me much. But you're…very attractive."

"I wouldn't know," Ominis said, trying to fight the urge to run away.

"Surely you've been told," Garreth whispered.

"Sebastian doesn't make a habit of telling me how handsome I look funnily enough," Ominis drawled.

"Well, you are."

"Thank you. Erm, I'll talk to you later, then," Ominis said.

He turned once again to leave the corridor but more words were tumbling out of his mouth.

"Garreth?"

"Yes?"

"Will you continue to help me?"

"Only if you want me to."

"I would."

-

Garreth spent the two days before his next potions lesson in nervous anticipation, his glances at the subject of his infatuation growing in frequency to the point of outright staring at the Slytherin in their shared classes. Merlin, he was beautiful, and Garreth had told him so, which was both embarrassing and exhilarating. Ominis had awkwardly ended their conversation, but he hasn't outright rejected Garreth, and he had then asked for his continued help in potions—perhaps this was the Slytherin trait of ambition rearing its head and he was simply using Garreth for his own gain, or maybe not. Either way, he wanted to find out.

He walked into the classroom with his heart pounding in his chest, heading straight to Ominis' usual seat and setting up beside him. Sebastian gave him a blank stare and blinked several times in confusion.

"Hello, lads. Looking forward to brewing this Thunderbrew potion? Tricky, but I think I have a knack for it," he said brightly.

"Weasley, what are you doing here?"

Sebastian was straight to the point, then.

"Garreth has offered to assist me, Sebastian," Ominis said calmly from beside him.

Garreth's cheeks were now burning so intensely he thought he must look like a beetroot, and he shook his head slightly to let his hair fall over his face and glanced down at his textbook.

"I can help you, Ominis," Sebastian said with a frown.

"Well, Garreth offered and frankly he's better at potions than you," Ominis smirked.

"Fine," Sebastian muttered, returning to his work.

Garreth knew his words were likely just playful banter but he felt the pang in his chest all the same. He took a deep breath and began to skim the recipe, though he knew it off by heart.

"I'll grab us all some ingredients," he said brightly, ignoring Sebastian's eye roll and retreating to the store room.

Garreth grabbed an armful of shrivelfigs, bottles of stench of the dead and leech juice and walked back to his cauldron, catching Sebastian pull away from Ominis and cease his muttering as he caught Garreth approaching. What was his problem, anyway? Sebastian had never had a problem with him before—they were never friends but he'd always found him amicable enough.

The lesson passed with some idle chat, but mostly avoiding Sebastian's furious glare and sarcastic remarks as Garreth concentrated on his potion and helped Ominis where he needed it. He didn't need a lot of assistance, but he was grateful when Garreth had stepped in to describe the colour of his concoction, deducing correctly that he needed to add more shrivelfig. 

"Thank you, Garreth," Ominis said at the end of the lesson.

Garreth couldn't help smiling, and cleared his throat awkwardly, muttering his thanks.

"Will you walk with me?" Ominis said, turning his head towards him as they left the classroom, his beautifully blue unseeing eyes fixed on the wall.

"Yes," Garreth responded far too quickly.

Sebastian had already left ahead of them in a huff, and Garreth jumped slightly as Ominis felt for his arm, placing a thin hand on his bicep. Ah, he was expecting Garreth to lead him.

"Where do you want to walk to?" Garreth asked quietly.

"I don't mind, somewhere quiet," Ominis responded.

Garreth swallowed thickly and tried to think of where to go, finally settling on the grassy area outside of the Herbology greenhouses—it was a pleasant day, but most students would still be in their lessons, but Garreth and Ominis had a free period. Garreth walked slowly, watching Ominis in his peripheral vision—his intimidatingly handsome face looked relaxed. Ominis was a little taller than him, but only by an inch or so, but he was thinner, with an elegantly lithe frame. Garreth had thought about his body far too much lately, and he blushed at the memories. The pair talked about their studies on the way to the greenhouses, and Garreth couldn't help but enthusiastically relaying his love for Ominis' most despised subject. Ah well, opposites attract, Garreth thought hopefully.

Garreth led Ominis to behind an old oak tree behind the path, amongst the grass and flower borders, and stopped walking, turning towards him.

"Well, here we are. I thought it would be nice to be outside in the sun," Garreth said.

"I agree, it's a lovely day," Ominis nodded.

Ominis removed his hand from Garreth's arm and sat carefully in the grass, crossing his legs and placing his hands in his lap. Garreth copied him, seating himself next to him, facing away from the tree, his knee grazing Ominis' and making a lump form in his throat.

"Can I ask a favour?" Ominis asked.

"Yes, of course, what is it?" Garreth responded.

"Can I…map your face?" 

Garreth opened and closed his mouth stupidly, wondering what he meant, and Ominis held up his hand in answer.

"Oh, you want to…yes, okay."

"Thank you, I've only bothered to do this with Sebastian so I'm afraid he's my only basis for comparison."

"Ah, then you might be disappointed."

Ominis smiled in reply and shuffled himself to face him, reaching out a hand slowly towards his face. Garreth stayed as still as he could as Ominis' warm hand found his cheek, gently tracing his cheek, up to his temple. His thumb ran down between his eyebrows, over his nose and down towards his mouth. Garreth's breathing had become erratic as Ominis brushed his lips and ran his fingers along his jaw, finally pulling his hand away.

"Thank you, that helps," Ominis said with a smile. "And no, I'm not disappointed."

Garreth laughed nervously, he was lost for words. He supposed that was his cue to do something but his usual confidence had completely deserted him around Ominis. Ominis seemed to sense his trepidation and reached out to place his hand on his knee but overshot and gripped his thigh. Garreth flinched and inhaled sharply, stopping Ominis' advance. Idiot. He looked about to pull away, so Garreth willed himself into action, catching his wrist in his hand and stilling his hand against his leg. A faint flicker of a smile crossed Ominis, lips and Garreth leaned forward to meet them. The kiss was quick, giving Ominis a chance to change his mind or decide he didn't like it. After a second of consideration, Ominis reached out to snake a hand around Garreth's neck and pulled him toward him again.

Their lips met and lingered, softly brushing together in timid exploration. Garreth took a chance, running his tongue along Ominis' lower lip, making the boy dig his fingers into his thigh before reciprocating with his own tongue. Garreth's stomach flipped over as the kiss deepened, taking no notice of the people wandering around the greenhouses as he lost himself in Ominis soft lips. He reached up and ran his hands through his dark blonde hair, always so elegantly styled, now a complete mess at the urgent tugging of Garreth's fingers. Ominis had shuffled closer towards him so that he was practically sitting in his lap, his crossed legs overlapping his own and the unmistakable bulge in his trousers told Garreth all he needed to know about how Ominis happened to feel about him. Garreth moaned softly at the sight as Ominis pulled away with a sly smile.

"Definitely not disappointed."

[showmey0urfangs]

Hi! Isn't it a bit problematic in the year 2023 to "reveal" that poc characters were lying and omitting things (Louis), manipulating her father and killing the other one (Claudia), abusing, torturing and manipulating (Armand) and then have the white character as the "actually good" one? Don't get me wrong, I love poc characters who are ambiguous and layered and obviously I'm not looking for one-dimensional ones, but I'm not sure about the direction of the show, given that they have such intense characters and now they are ready to follow Anne's steps and idealize Lestat as the Mary Sue of the series who now has been mistreated by poc? I don't think it's a good way to handle it

Hi Nonnie! You raise an excellent point that I and many other IWTV fans of colour have wondered about and discussed many times.

I personally would not use the word 'problematic' because it is so overused and misused that it has lost any and all meaning. But I would agree that if the show does follow the route of the books by elevating Lestat to Mary Sue, white Jesus, chosen one, Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven status while painting all the other characters as either liars and manipulators who tried to sully his good name with their slander, or sycophants who are hopelessly in love with him, it would be reinforcing some not so good stereotypes and imo, it would also be very boring.

Personally, I preferred the Lestat in the show because he has a maturity, a grittiness and depth to him that book Lestat doesn't. He also has flaws and moral failings that are very coherent given his traumatic background. He's very well-written and all the choices that were made for his character made sense given the context of the story regardless of whether or not Louis misremembered some details.

Let's also keep in mind that IWTV uses colour-conscious casting, not colour-blind casting and the writers are well aware of the optics the skin colour of each character carries.

It was clearly a deliberate choice to have Lestat be the only white one out of the four main characters (I don't count Daniel because he is a narrative device and a proxy for the audience, and he doesn't really take part in the action for the most part). And the show references it all the time within the story—French white, you and your pale lover, your white daddy, Claudia calling Lestat massa etc. The writers fucking know what it looks like to the audience, and in the universe of the show, the characters are aware of it too.

That's why I am choosing to trust that the show will continue to do all the characters justice instead of listening to the harbingers of doom and gloom on both sides who either hope Lestat will be vilified or prematurely rejoice that he will be absolved of all wrongdoing. I suspect none of that will happen and we will get a complex, nuanced story just like we did last season.

AND if we don't then, then I have the option to simply stop watching, as I'm sure would many other fans who are not interested in white saviour narrative number 99999.

So have a little faith Nonnie, all will be well. 😊

[phil-lesterfan]

straightman count your fucking days

ngl i understand why g*iman might want to say heaven/god isn't homophobic in the sense that like "oh people love the g*mens 'verse and want to imagine a world without homophobia"; however, i think it's safe to say that, definitely by now, heaven are also bad guys. perhaps god isn't homophobic and fans could maybe take comfort in that, but heaven can be without that reflecting on god and ruining that illusion.

that being said, defensively shutting down an interpretation (coming from the "interpret everything however you want" guy) that makes the story even more meaningful than it already is, especially when focussing on the show's version of the story, which has definitively moved into "love story" territory, is such loser behaviour. you're allowed to tell fans things they don't want to hear, and fans should be allowed to recognise themselves and the things they've been through without being called delusional or wrong or whatever for it.

covering your ass with the sandalphon comment is hilarious too, because yeah, everyone totally thinks about everything but homophobia when they think of sodom and gomorrah. be serious for me for just one second, please!

no one even called him homophobic for the scene's inclusion (because duh, what you write about doesn't 1:1 reflect your values), but tbh, with the way he reacted, well . . . it's not a very good look, i think. saying "hey, this scene reflected homophobia experienced by gay people [in this instance, specifically gay men]" isn't at all the same as saying "you endorse homophobia" — imagine how impossible it'd be to write a story without any ~problematic~ elements — and if you interpreted g*yziraphale's statement as accusatory, you need to take a step back and do some serious reassessment.

(and the tags about "it doesn't even have to be 'boyfriend'! it could've been 'lady friend' or 'bosom friend'"? what? first of all, if only it were that easy to avoid homophobia! sadly [sarcasm], gay people exist. secondly, WHY DIDN'T THEY JUST SAY ONE OF THOSE THINGS THEN? if angels don't have an understanding of gender or sexuality, why didn't they use one of the neutral terms you suggested? and again, if a and c being just friends was enough to spark heaven's anger and if heaven really has no concept of sexuality — let's remember, s1 had their relationship hella ambiguous still, so if some viewers of the show couldn't pick up on anything between the two, you think 'i don't get sex' heaven would? — they should've just said "friend"!)

i hate that i've written an essay because i hate that i'm putting so much time and (emotional) energy into this, but i'm just so sick of gay people being called delusional or "looking too deep" for pointing out where stories parallel their own. also, nice little "actually *you're* the homophobic one for even noticing it!!1!"[1] there. really deserving of a glaad award, sir. (or is that yet another statement i'm not allowed to interpret?)

1 look, i get he could be acting like he's just got the gender version of colour blindness, but he's a grown up. he should know damn well how that line comes across.

[sab-teraa]

jae jun ending is harsh ??? he was the least problematic

Hey <3 Oooo, I appreciate your opinion ... but I beg to differ. Spoilers ahead: 1. For most bullying scenes, JJ was merely a bystander who observed the violence around him and chose to ignore/protect the perpetrators. As such, he was 'blind' in terms of not seeing/choosing not to see what was around him + he lacked perception/good judgement by helping them cover it up.

I think this is further evident in his relationship with the store clerk. Other than Ye-sol, sometimes YJ + Se-ra ... the only other person he spoke to somewhat 'kindly' (I'm using the word kindly loosely lol) was the store clerk ... yet, the possibility of him knowing about her s exual assault is high ... and he chose to do nothing. He was once again a mere bystander.

I also think that he was ‘blind’ on a friendship level. He was surprised by Ye-sol being his child + YJ hiding it from him … considering they shared everything … to the point that he didn’t even consider it a possibility till DE. Thus, he was blinded by his trust in YJ. He was also blindsided by Myeong-oh standing up against him + robbing him + the fact that se-ra would sleep with Myeong-oh = JJ being blinded by his social status.

DE had given the group a chance to get the easy way out ...both knowingly (aka YJ) and unknowingly (JJ). Here, JJ was given a lifeline with Ye-sol and for the first time ... he was no longer a bystander ... he stood up for what was right. He was also given a chance to redeem himself by doing right by So-hee after finding out she was pregnant with his child and killed by YJ + doing right by Ye-sol by understanding her relationship with DY. However, in these cases, he was once again blinded by his love for Ye-sol ... resulting in him making the wrong choices - using Ye-sol as a bargaining chip to protect YJ + assaulting DY and DE.

I found it extremely satisfactory that HJ had a role to play in blinding him. She tried her best to appear perfect for him, yet he was blinded bc of her status and probs the fact that she tried to hard. Hence, treating her as disposable + constantly mocking her. She probs presumed he turned a new leaf with him standing up for her + proposing to her … she thought he had finally seen her. But nope, he chose to taunt her when she needed him the most.

Given these storylines, I interpreted DE asking JJ “how do you know what’s colourful” … as a play on his colorblindness and the fact that he lacks good judgement/is a bystander/ability to see beyond his own beliefs. So, JJ literally losing his eyesight wraps up his story perfectly - now he is blind by force rather than choice. 2. With regard to losing his life ... it made the most sense. He has been fighting for custody of Ye-sol against DY - its his main character arc. DY would have never known peace bc JJ would continuously come after them. Plus, the role DE played in blinding JJ helped DY k-word JJ ... hence, it can also be seen as DE's thank to DY for always being kind to her.

Taking him away from Ye-sol and his chance to have a family was also another point of revenge. Throughout the show we see how much he craves a home and family ... so this defo hit hard.

(Side note: do you guys think the hurt So-hee? that part came across a bit open-ended ... like why didn't So-hee use this relationship to irk YJ? Maybe she knew that it would not matter bc YJ did not love him? Idk ... but that whole scene where they found out he is the father makes me think he could have hurt her)

[northlight14]

Greyson Honfoli

Basic Information

Pronouns: he/him

Alias’: “Town Hero”, “Captain Greyson”, “Darling” (Leucis), “My Darling Greyson”(Leucis)

Relatives: unnamed parents, Cheese (pet cat)

Affiliation: Town Guard

Occupation: Guardsman, fighter, soldier, Captain

Personal Information

Eye Colour: blue

Hair Colour: light brown 

Height: 6,1

Gender Identity: cis man

Sexuality: bisexual

Species: human

Marital Status: single 

Status

Age: 21

Star Sign: gemini

Date Of Birth: 5th June

Place Of Birth: Ashborn

Status: alive

Background Story

Greyson was born in a town in Ashborn, a nation that has been at war for a long time. Greyson grew up with his mother and father and despite the war, had a pretty good childhood, though he wasn’t blind to some of the sacrifices his parents made for him. Growing up he saw the town guards a lot and admired them, the guards of Commander Thamior being very recognisable. Thamior was an elven soldier that was essentially a living legend and the standard most soldiers aspire for. 

When Greyson was 15 there was an attack on the town as a result of the war. The guards were sent out to save the civilians and evacuate people but Greyson stayed and saved someone the guards had missed from a fire. After the crisis, the guards scolded Greyson for being so reckless and putting himself in danger, even if it was to save someone. But it was then Thamior approached, this being the first time Greyson met him, and he asked Greyson about what he did and why and Greyson just said that he didn't want to let someone die. Thamior was honestly just impressed by the young boy's bravery and skill and so once things began to settle, Thamior went to Greyson’s parents and requested to take Greyson under his wing and train him to be a cadet. They agreed and Greyson began his training. 

At 18 Greyson was sent off to fight in the war and go on various adventures with his party. Quickly, Greyson rose through the ranks and now at 21 returned to Ashborn as a captain, getting his own apartment with his cat, Cheese, and continuing to work alongside Commander Thamior. 

Personality 

Greyson is a bit of a himbo, being a little dumb but not overly so and a total sweetheart, or at least tries to be. He takes his role as Commander Thamior’s right hand man seriously, seeing it as an honour, and has a very strong sense of justice. Greyson is a big believer in the goodness of others, sometimes to a naive level but that doesn’t mean he is oblivious to the evils of the world or the existence of bad people. He just wants to believe that things will work out in the end for people and society. He is ultimately a very kind person to those around him and shows respect when respect is due. 

This responsibility is also paired with a fun loving streak that also leads to a lot of irresponsible decisions made on Greyson’s part such as going out partying with his friends even on work nights. This stems from him trying to balance big responsibilities as a protector while also a desire to live his life as a 21 year old and enjoy his life and have fun with friends. He is essentially a non problematic frat boy with a lot of responsibilities involving actual people's lives and that can be a lot for him to manage and his title as Captain can feel more like a box than an honour, though he doesn’t like talking about these feelings as he feels like he is being ungrateful for his position or disrespectful to Commander Thamior. 

Greyson also has a stubborn side to him, committing to something once he’s made his mind up regardless of if others think it's a good idea. 

Appearance

Greyson’s skin is peach and heavily freckled and he also has some light stubble. His eyes are blue and almond shaped. His hair is light brown and very long but he tends to tie it back in a top knot. Body type wise, he is very muscular and thin but not overly so. He also has a few scars all over his body from fighting in various battles and criminals. 

In terms of dress sense, he dresses in a pretty casual fantasy way, mostly in lighter colours such as white, grey and blue, paired with typically black pants. Greyson is most often seen wearing his navy blue jacket which is a sign of the guards who work under Thamior. This is then paired with boots. 

Trivia

Greyson’s drink of choice is rum or beer

His favourite animals are cats

MBTI is ESFJ

He’s chased down criminals while hungover on more than one occasion

[ssaturnsapphic]

colourblind ppl are so 🤢 bc you’re saying “it doesn’t matter what colour you are, we’re all equal 🥺😌🥰” to groups of people who have experienced time and time again that it does, in fact, matter what colour you are and it matters so much that ppl are treated differently because of it. you can’t tell them to not worry about it. being colourblind is choosing to ignore our plights in the name of “love 💖 and equality ⚖️” when we receive neither of those things.

this is why it’s so fucking problematic when black women and/or women of colour will make a post pertaining to them and THEIR community then some white woman or woman that isn’t in that community will come and say “it’s actually all women.” Like, yeah thanks, I realise it’s all women but I’m not talking about all women. It’s all very “All Lives Matter”-ish.

I saw a comment on a post I just reblogged and it was like “if a white woman did this, she would be called racist”; now, this is up to ppl personally, but I don’t think that’s racist but actually incredibly insensitive. You’re praising a group of people who have been the MOST privileged and who have actively stood in the way of BIPOC communities’ journeys to getting rights. They have been praised ALL THE TIME. They have been the standard, they have been praised, they have been worshipped ALL THE TIME. And before anyone comes and says “bUt yOu nEvEr sEe pOsts LiKe tHat”, I urge you to pick up a book or do some research into the history of women’s rights, then the hypersexualisation of black women and WOC, then the fetishisation and acceptance of BW and WOC’s features but the hatred towards the women themselves.

So, white women and women who are not mentioned in posts pertaining to a particular community, and honestly, anyone who feels the almighty urge to derail and draw attention to themselves when they see that it isn’t on them for a SECOND, pls, just don’t. We’re tired.

[heir-less]

Having to explain to stans that defend the Cambridges doing photo oops with black and brown people from the remnants of their empire and being carried on thrones that "alien to Europe" is an extremely racist thing to say no matter how many words they take out is not surprising. How many times have rrs and tabloids have protected him now after claiming what they did to Meghan was fair?

I think these people are just playing stupid and are blinded by their bias. Because these are the same people who can fully understand why all the problematic things Harry has done in the past are wrong, in fact, they will bring them up and discuss them in-depth to deflect from Prince William's own past and present racism. And yet Harry, at least has tried to learn and better himself. Harry has confronted his own problematic elements and hasn't fucked up like this in years.

William, on the other hand, remains stubborn to the point of farce. He keeps swearing up at down that he and his dumb family aren't racist, he surrounds himself with people of colour for PR, and yet he can't stop himself from saying things like this. He makes remarks varying from tone-deaf to racist almost every time he has to deal with a social issue. I honestly think he just doesn't know any better. He is so arrogant that he thinks that there isn't anything he can possibly learn.

Ask yourself, do you guys really think that William had any remorse for his "Alien to Europe" comment? Or his "Bored of racism" comment. Or his "We are spreading COVID" joke. Or his "Vary much Not Racist" comment. Or, or, or, or . . . ? Because I don't think he did? I don't think he saw the reports about him and said "Oh, I should try not to do that again". I think his first reaction is to blame the media for making a little joke/comment a big deal and absolve himself of any wrong doing. And the sad part his that he has surrounded himself with people who are validating that mindset. They're willing to coddle him and change the narrative to suit him even if he comes off looking like a worse person in the end. The ROTAs constantly defending him and twisting the narrative to make all fair critiques seem unreasonable legit just grantees that he will make another, worse comment in a few months. It's very sad to see.

[aziraphales-library]

Hello! Do you have any human au recs? Preferably top crowley. Can be any genre. Much appreciated! Thank you in advance!

There are so many human au fics I could recommend for this. But here are a few that I think you might like!

Paper Thin Walls by MrsCaulfield (E)

Sure being in love with your best friend when he also happens to live in the flat next door, where you can hear every single one of his conquests through that shared wall, sounds challenging. But being in love with your best friend when he lives next door and you two used to shag? Might just be a tad more difficult, but Aziraphale muddles through somehow.

i’ll never be lonely by john1513 (M)

Aziraphale summons a demon to his bookshop to demand (*politely ask) a little favor of him. Was it a great idea to summon a literal demon from hell to be your friend for a bit? Maybe not. But Aziraphale has been a bit lonely lately, and he's tried everything, really. Turns out the demon he calls is less Demon and more Grumpy, Cuddly Man, but, hey. He's not complaining.

Aziraphale sells his soul in exchange for friendship, and gets more than he bargained for.

Aurency by hikaru9, Z A Dusk (E)

Asa Fell has known from childhood that he’s supposed to be an Aurent – a seer of angels. His failure at Aurency is just one more thing his family is disappointed in. He’s never attempted to invoke his Guardian. He doesn’t want to add yet another item to their litany of things he’s failed at. But when his bullying landlord Gabriel threatens to take his beloved bookshop from him, Asa, with nowhere left to turn, invokes his Guardian.

Nothing could have prepared him for Crowley.

Crowley was created to be a Guardian. He knew from the very beginning that it was his duty to stand beside his Aurent, and protect and guide them. He knows it’s a sacred bond that goes both ways. When he falls from Heaven, he resigns himself to the fact that no-one will accept him as a Guardian.

Nothing could have prepared him for Asa.

Can a fallen Guardian and an emotionally buttoned-up bookseller learn to love and be loved? Or are their two worlds simply not meant to collide?

The Ineffable Date by Yelhsabeech (E)

"'Well what did you expect to happen?' Aziraphale berated himself internally, 'that someone would actually want to spend an evening with a boring, portly, stuffy, nobody? You should never have bothered with that dating application, you're perfectly fine with your books. You’re an old fool to think this would actually help you find someone. Maybe this time you’ll actually learn.'

He stared hard at his glass of wine, blinking out the burning feeling behind his eyes and took a deep trembling breath.

And here are a few wips:

apple of my eye by PutinsNostrils (E)

Anthony J. Crowley has come to terms with the fact he was approaching his 50th birthday and hasn’t found his soulmate yet. He’s fine with it, absolutely uh-mazing. Wahoo, never been better.

This curtain of delusion drops when he meets Aziraphale, some coot who’s more cushion than man with a questionable taste in walking sticks and also, incidentally, Crowley’s soulmate. Sadly enough, this doesn't seem to apply both ways as Aziraphale won’t mention any change in his vision after their first contact. If Crowley just wasn't this besotted with his angel, he maybe wouldn't overlook the obvious signs for as why Aziraphale wouldn't see any colour...

- Soulmate AU in which you're able to see colour after touching your soulmate for the first time. Problematic if one of them is blind and the other an idiot.

When the Party’s Over by the_huffster (M)

Anthony J. Crowley lives the fast and wild life of a nightclub personality, basking in the many perks and struggling to maintain a normal, private life. He's the talk of the town (not always a good thing), and an appearance from him guarantees crowds at any nightlife establishment.

Aziraphale Fell lives the quiet life that comes with owning a bookshop, content with the routine he has settled into over the years. His (short lived) days of soaking in London's nightlife are behind him and it's for the better, judging by what the tabloids and gossip columns say about that particular scene.

When their completely different paths cross, Crowley finds himself drawn to the almost angelic bookshop owner and Aziraphale finds himself intrigued by the bad boy of London's nightlife.

~ Mod G

[tobeornottotc]

Color Rush Episode 5 Observation and Comments

Nature vs Nurture

This episode already posed many questions from me in understanding the world of monos and probes. Mainly because we get to see Yeonwoo and YooHan more in a free world enjoying their time together, getting used to the effects of the colour rush and choosing to forego their worries to be with each other. Yoohan had no worries anyway, he's always been devoted to Yeonwoo since day one, but we do watch him shift a bit this episode to show Yeonwoo that it's not just about the powerplays and need for someone to depend on him, but it's how being with Yeonwoo feels. It's more than just seeing the colors rush into Yeonwoo's eyes, but it's laughing, holding hands and having Yeonwoo lean on him. Yoohan showed that all he wants is to be with Yeonwoo because he made him feel excited, happy and not alone. It's sweet because seeing with his condition; he never felt the need to make an effort with someone because he couldn't recognise their facial features.

It's only Yeonwoo he recognised; it's only Yeonwoo he found different from the sea of unrecognisable faces. All he wants is to stay excited and happy by Yeonwoo's side. To just stay with his crush.  Now, this brings the question of if it's true then, is our couple doomed to fail and fall into the dangerous results of obsession and addiction that all monos and probes apparently have? Is it truly the only result when a mono and probe get together? My answer? It doesn't seem like it.

From this episode, we see Yeonwoo show acceptance of his fears and worries and get used to the color rush; being strong and not falling. With that ability we see him also not show any aggressive reactions to decolouring as he has done previously, he and Yoohan were in their own world in the art exhibition. It was more about being together than seeing the colours, as I mentioned. So why do we then end up with this fear and worry that monos become bloodthirsty and more because of their obsession and addiction to the colour rush and their probes presence? Maybe it's just because of having an obstacle or prevention that stops a  mono from seeing their probe. So, for now, there's no issue with Yeonwoo and Yoohan's relationship because Yoohan is devoted to Yeonwoo and wants to stay by his side forever just like Yeonwoo to him.

There's no need to snap and go crazy about needing Yoohan's presence if Yoohan will always choose to go to Yeonwoo. The only thing that can prevent that is if someone gets into his head and makes him think Yoohan would leave his side or if there is an obstacle preventing him from seeing Yoohan. So it's not entirely a healthy happy relationship, but it makes me wonder with the other monos who commit crimes and other actions, if they were forced to separate from their probes, are all mono and probes in a romantic situation, do probes always view the situation positively? Perhaps a probe is already married and then meets their mono what happens when their heart belongs to the other person instead of the mono? That's when the need to commit acts to make the probe stay is more necessary and more problematic and toxic.

So again maybe not all monos and probes are doomed to enter this ill-fated relationship (also it's a sporadic connection) like I keep mentioning I'm sure society has played a massive part in exaggerating how dangerous this relationship can be. Society has gotten into mono's head to fear for what they are, to think they are monsters that can snap and if they meet someone and feel like that person is being pulled away from them because someone or society got in their head that they need to separate then it makes them have to choose either avoid the probe and choose this dull, sad loveless life or choose to become the monsters that society say they are and fight to get to their probes. I'm not saying it's romantic that monos depend so much on their probes, but if society has made them feel that they have no choice but to succumb to their aggression and insanity of obsession with their probes then it does bring this question if Yeonwoo and Yoohan are allowed just to stay this way, happy together, no obstacles, no influence, no society making them feel wrong for being together, maybe Yeonwoo wouldn't snap.

Maybe monos don't need to snap; they live their lives sane, and okay without the colour rush, they don't need to have this colour rush to survive. Yes, when their mindsets get warped, and they become addicted it feels like it, but I feel like it's not as dangerous as Yeon-woo has been led to believe it is. In my opinion, it's the separating of the monos and probes that make them snap. And it's just a liability, but not every single relationship will end that way. Not every relationship would be like Yeonwoo and Yoohan who are in love and devoted to each other, that's when maybe there's a danger connected to it. Suppose it's the aunt who I'm predicting is who shows up tries to get into Yeonwoo's head about moving and separating from Yoohan. In that case, he'll likely snap because he finds it unfair and frustrating that he's been taken away from Yoohan not just because of the color rush but because of his love for him. But it will get into his head and make him think he has to be a monster to keep Yoohan. That's the only risk of these twos relationship.

It brings the question about nature vs nurture with this show, and its world. Monos are just color blind and prone to being being addicted to the effect of colors because of the euphoric feelings felt. However, it's the environment that makes them think they're monsters, or dangerous. The environment already makes them feel either alone or forced to aggression to defend themselves from bullies and others. It's the environment that keeps making them think they're doomed to be in an ill-fated relationship with their probes when this might not be the case.  But it also means that the monos who commit crimes were probably already prone to committing crimes, it depends on personality, lifestyle, how people interact with situations, the psychology of the monos, and Yeonwoo and society shouldn't generalise a group of people for actions a small part has done. We don't think all humans are criminals, just because criminals exist in the world, it's more than just that you know? I think it's the same with monos, they've been heavily prejudiced against and judged on actions of a small group of people who had other factors needed to be known.

[disabled-dragoon]

Disabled Characters That Shaped My Childhood

Is this similar to a post on my other page? Perhaps. But I don’t care. 

As it is disability pride month and this was essentially the entire reason for me making a second blog, I have decided to revise my list of disabled characters in the media that helped me accept my disability growing up! Probably won’t be all that good but eh, what the hell. 

Unfortunately I can only think of three characters from my childhood that I remember being featured prominently on TV growing up, but it is increasing! Slowly, but it is! So with that said......

Gabriella- The Little Mermaid, 1992-1994, Deaf

Possibly the first actually disabled character I can remember seeing on TV, I think Gabriella was the character that kicked off my interest in learning more about disability culture in the first place and I’m mad more people don’t remember her. 

She was my first real exposure to seeing disability outside of my home and the hospital, and yes, she might be deaf and I’m not, but she fascinated me and arguably catalysed my ongoing attempts to learn sign language. Her character was fun and loveable and I’m glad they took the time to kind of explain her deafness to the audience, then promoted the idea that actually she didn’t need to change herself to be wonderful. She was accepted almost immediately and was most likely the first introduction to sign language as a whole to a lot of children in the early 90s. The fact she kept coming back as a regular character was also amazing to see! 

Toph Beifong- Avatar: The Last Airbender, 2005-2008, Blind

Obviously needs no introduction....With the events of the last year, everyone had a chance to be reintroduced to the series that is Avatar and, by extension, the fantastic Toph Beifong! 

The whole series is one that focuses on overcoming oppression and marginalisation and, whilst it certainly is not perfect, the fact it had a disabled main character for the majority of its run and spin off is probably part of the reason this show holds a special place in my heart, even today. And the representation is not just limited to Toph either!

Remember the wheelchair bound “airbender” that the GAang comes across? Teo I think his name is. Or the armless villainess Ming-Hua in Korra? I do. And I wouldn’t be surprised if there are others that I’m missing but my point is, ATLA does a very good job to not use disability as a reason to make weak characters and I appreciate it so much. 

Toph was is the reason, I think, that I can laugh at myself today (in a good way, of course) and will always be my favourite character of the series for that very reason. 

Hiccup Haddock- How To Train Your Dragon, 2003, Amputee

Ah, How To Train Your Dragon. The guilty pleasure of my childhood. 

It was only a couple of years ago I realised the main character is, technically disabled, having one leg and all, and I never noticed despite watching it religiously when I was small(er). Maybe because they didn’t draw much attention to it after it happened, or maybe because I just did not have the attention span for movies...

But I appreciate it nonetheless, considering the whole movie series finished in 2019 I believe, so it’s still pretty relevant to the younger generations. And the fun colours and enjoyable theme of dragons that people are drawn to means that is a film people can be easily drawn to, and still gets attention. 

                       ~~~Honourable Mentions!~~~

1. Julia- Sesame Street, Autism

A little after my time but a treat to see nonetheless! Julia got a lot of attention when it was announced she would be joining Sesame Street, as the first regular character on the series to be diagnosed with autism. With so much more focus on autism and disability awareness in recent years, it’s refreshing to see children’s media starting to branch out more into exploring the concept of disability in youth and childhood!

2. Iron Man- The Avengers, Technically a heart defect

Okay, it didn’t last. I’m aware. And Iron Man and Marvel are...problematic at times, but arguably the comics and RDJs portrayal of Iron Man was a lot of people’s first introduction to the idea of sudden disability in later life, even if he had the money, resources, time and plot armour to overcome it. 

3. Hawkeye- The Avengers, Deaf

In the comics he’s deaf. Maybe not in the film series, but still. Pretty impressive. Not only is he sans superpowers, he has a disability, which in the world of Marvel you would expect him to be portrayed as weaker and incapable but he isn’t! 

4. Entrapta- She-Ra and The Princesses of Power, Autism

Okay. Yes. Still a bit out of my childhood, technically. But who didn’t watch She-Ra during the lockdown? I’m pretty sure it was confirmed(?) that Entrapta was written as being on the autism spectrum but correct me if I’m wrong. 

                                          ~~~~~~~~~~~

And END.

Sorry for a long first post, I just thought, in the spirit of the month, it might be nice to reflect a little on characters that potentially helped us in our childhoods, and characters that may continue helping children today. 

If I forgot any, or one needs to be added to the list, please tell me and why! 

Thank you!

And happy disability pride month!

[official-lucifers-child]

Hey so, I need a bit of help here. How do I tell someone that their hyper fixation may be problematic? And is there a certain point where a piece of media becomes detached from its original creator? (I will provide context if needed)

“hey, i just want you to know that X media is [insert whatever the problem is] for these reasons: [list reasons and give evidence]. i know you really like it, that’s why i wanted to inform you about the [problem]”

for example, bridgerton:

“hey i just wanted you to know that bridgerton is a bit racist and colourist because the casting was supposed to be colour-blind but it’s not, the villain has the darkest skin in the whole cast, all of the main poc have very light skin and dark skin is only really seen on background or side characters, and the creators promised to address racism in the show and did not, baiting poc to watch and then not delivering on their promise. i know you really enjoyed it so i just wanted you to know about this. here is a helpful video discussing all of these things”

[northoftheroad]

Is it bad if i love the new Nightwing arc? Okay okay let me explain myself. Yes,i'm disappointed on a lot of things(like- why is Dick being so useless on his own run 😭) , but i'm still going to read to the final just so i can see what happens and if we are really overreacting the way Tom Taylor is treating Dick.

Idk it kinda feels like it's too soon to say anything about the story cuz there's no plot at all...well..maybe now that we got Melinda telling Dick that she is his sister(yikes)

I also think this is just acceptable for some people bcz of the art lol

Gah, of course not! While the art is the best thing so far, I don't hate it either. I absolutely had hoped for more, but it's still a step forward compared to two years of not-Dick.

Taylor has clearly said he considers Dick an A-lister, but has yet to show it in his writing. I feel he has been successful in writing Dick as the nice guy who always want to help and who works well with others. I still hope he'll be able to write the driven, serious and hyper-competent guy we also know Dick is.

Taylor has written that he's got plans for # 100; hopefully, he's playing a long game, and it will pick up speed. So far, his run only covers a couple of days of Dick's time.

I would never tell anyone what it's okay to like or not! As long as you're not doing it blindly, and can see the context of the work. Some characters or stories will resonate with you, even if they have a bunch of flaws. Or maybe you loved it when you were too young to see the problems.

Personally, I have at least one old favourite writer thas was definitely a product of his time (early 1900s UK). I have a lot of fondness for his characters and the stories without being blind to both the lack of quality in several books and his problematic depiction of, for instance, people of colour.

[spell-cleaver]

Astrophilia

This is my project for @star-wars-wlweek! 

Leia and Qi'ra can fight others and each other with words and weapons easily enough, but trust in themselves is harder to come by, and may be what keeps them apart.

Or: five universes in which they almost, but not quite, find each other, and one universe where they do.

Read it on AO3 or FFN instead.

*

Day 1: Gay Awakening | Pirate AU

The gay awakening in this isn’t quite as clear as I wanted it to be, nor is the gay super clear; I’m not great at writing romance. I hope you enjoy it anyway :D

In one universe of many, Qi’ra boarded a covert attack ship named the Striker.

Bring me the little rich rat, Lady Proxima had told Qi’ra, her decadent jewellery glinting in the dim, murky light of her pool. If there were any rich rats around here, Qi’ra couldn’t help but think, it was her. She and her senator father want to ‘clean us up,’ drive out the gangs. She needs taking care of.

Not necessarily murder, she knew, though Qi’ra had certainly done worse in her years of servitude. Han, the big softie, never liked the dirtier jobs, but Qi’ra still had her eyes on the role of enforcer and she wouldn’t get that if she played nice. Whatever Proxima wanted done to this Princess of Alderaan, she would do it.

Better her than Qi’ra.

And the job came with some perks, as well. She’d been allowed into a ship off-planet for the first time ever. Corellia was putrid on the ground level, but seeing it from above was a different matter: seas of grey-green waste, textured tumbles of built-up civilisation that had been run down three centuries ago, the white-capped poles blemished with black and grey.

Everyone around her was oohing and aahing at the skies and the million stars that Corellia’s piss-coloured lights washed away. But Qi’ra kept her eyes on the planet below.

She had never seen another world but she knew her own was a shit hole. There was no point forgetting that—especially when she had a job to do.

Corellia’s junkyard that passed for rings was an ideal place to hide a scrappy pirate ship, bartered from the Hutts and fixed up with spit and miracles. Qi’ra fingered the small blaster she’d been trusted with for this mission, gripping the accompanying stun baton tightly.

Han shot her a grin from the co-pilot’s seat but she ignored it. The Worms’ primary pilot grunted at him to focus.

Qi’ra focused too. The Tantive IV, the diplomatic ship captained by Raymus Antilles, owned by Senator Bail Organa, used by Princess Leia Organa on her numerous sanctimonious relief missions. Corellia, as one of Alderaan’s nearest neighbours, was getting the brunt of some of her efforts first, and if she managed to get enough relief and policing there, she might even shut down the White Worms.

They couldn’t do that. Qi’ra had fought so hard, all these years, to be where she was now. She wouldn’t lose it.

The Tantive IV winked into realspace on the edge of Corellian airspace and Han hacked their comms with barely a thought.

“—Princess Leia Organa, here for the scheduled relief mission—”

Even her voice was pretentious and fake. She’d be easy to kidnap, then hopefully easy for Proxima to intimidate. Actually, killing a Core world princess might be problematic politically, but it was amazing what the Empire would turn a blind eye to if they didn’t like the politician.

Tank, the Aqualan leader of the mission, grunted his instructions. “Attack. Now.”

Han jammed the Tantive’s comms. Qi’ra finally replied to his grin with a grim smile as he patted her on the shoulder, then stood with the boarding team as the Striker careened towards the Tantive and opened fire.

The next few minutes were a blur. The ships jerked as they connected, the Striker seizing the Tantive’s airlock like a snake seized a rat between its jaws. Qi’ra rocked with the motion and was one of the first fighters on the ground when the doors hissed open.

They met fierce resistance from the bodyguards. Bolts flew, blew molten plasma across the metal walls, but there were more intruders than defenders and soon they were retreating back down the corridor, shooting haphazardly over their shoulders.

“Secure the escape pods!” came Tank’s shout. “Locate the target!”

Qi’ra sprinted down the corridor and took the first left where everyone else fanned out across the ship. A few men Qi’ra didn’t know followed her. She kept an eye on them as she went: one blue-skinned Twi’lek and one gruff human. She trusted neither of them not to try to steal glory for themselves, but she could take them if they did.

They came upon the first escape pod and shot the controls, disabling it. Then the next. Then the next. The engine room and other guts of the ship expanded on their right, and it took everything in her not to jump at shadows.

She did jump when the bolt came.

It struck the human man in the chest; he went down instantaneously. Qi’ra whipped her head around and returned fire, forcing the attacker to retreat to where their aim was less deadly.

The Twi’lek wasn’t so wise. He grunted and barged forwards, punching out shots in a rapid staccato, but in a few moments he was nailed in the lek, then the forehead. Qi’ra grimaced at the splatter of blood and brains.

That was a mistake. Her moment of distraction saw her attacker dive with range again; they shot right through her ponytail and left her hair a sticky mess. She did the only thing she could do: she brawled.

They weren’t expecting her to leap. Qi’ra’s fist landed right in a chest—where she’d thought the abdomen would be, but her attacker was smaller than expected. She used that: yanked them towards her, under the glaring lights, before they could shoot again.

She stared.

Her assailant—a young woman with intricate braids and a stony expression—pulled herself up to her full, diminutive height and glared.

She was, Qi’ra hated to admit, highly attractive.

She brought up her blaster. Qi’ra kicked it out of her grip and was backhanded for her troubles. Small hands gripped her own blaster fiercely and she twisted away, snarled—tossed the blaster aside rather than give it up. It scattered into the next escape pod.

The woman—Princess Organa, it had to be—dived for it. Qi’ra tackled her. They rolled across the floor, faces inches apart, and Qi’ra tried to fight the paralysis when they locked eyes.

She lifted her hands to punch again, but Organa gripped her wrists.

“Who are you people,” she hissed. “Why are you attacking!?”

“I just need another mission under my belt, Princess,” Qi’ra grunted, trying to free herself. Organa’s grip was strong. “’Else I’m back out on the streets.”

“That’s why we’re here, I’m here to help—”

“I can’t trust help from a stranger.”

“Then get out of my way.”

Organa struck Qi’ra across the face and she fell to the side, cursing. She scrambled for the escape pod.

“Oh no you don’t,” she hissed, but Organa already had the blaster. Qi’ra leapt in after her and rolled to duck the bolt that soared past her ear.

It struck the button to detach instead.

No.

No.

Organa smiled grimly and pulled a lever. The airlock disengaged. They were floating in space, untethered.

“I have no interest in being captured by whoever you work for,” Organa spat.

“Captured? Pah. Lady Proxima just wants you and your relief efforts out of the way.” Qi’ra eyed the blaster but didn’t dive for it again. She glanced at the controls, the ship—the shots from the Striker just missing their pod. “We had orders to fire on any escape pods that were released.”

Organa went white. “You’re saying we’re going to die.”

“You’ve killed us both, yeah.”

Organa swore in a language Qi’ra didn’t know. “I hate you.”

“It’s mutual, trust me.”

“I don’t trust you.”

“Likewise.”

“But sit your sorry backside down there.” Organa grabbed her arm and frogmarched her to the only seat in the escape pod. “And steer.”

“Steer?”

“I’m going to escaped this. I want to live.” Organa eyed the Tantive and the Striker getting smaller with every spiralling moment. Bright shots shattered out from them and puckered their hull. “My question is: do you?”

When Qi’ra laid hands on the controls, they were hot and shaking under her touch.

[deliahscrush2003]

From OC ask game 3, question 1 for your Harry Potter OCs?

Harry Potter OCs + Why Did I Pick Their Name?

CECILIA "CECILY" MALFOY

The Malfoy family traditionally have first names that have a strong Roman origin (Septimus, Brutus) or are named after constellations (Lucius, Draco).

Cecilia is a name of Latin origin, meaning "blind" or "blind to one's beauty", but can also be found in France which is where Cecilia's father was from.

She is known to go by Cecily though, a nickname I admired because of the Infernal Devices by Cassandra Clare of which feature a character by the same name.

Cecil is also my late grandfather's name and the masculine version of Cecilia, and I like to pay homage to certain people or facts about my life in my stories.

Overall, Cecilia is a royal, elegant, graceful and dainty name which I feel is fitting for the OC.

ARIEL MCKINNON

Ariel means "Lion of God". The symbol of the lion has been tailored to a majority of this character's identity. I picked it because the name reminds me of the colour red and stubbornness, curtesy of the protagonist from the Little Mermaid. The name also reminds me of fierceness and rebellion, which is two prominent themes to the female lead from Footloose of the same name.

I also picked the name because its foreshadowing of a certain secret about the character that I cannot reveal quite yet but the secret happens to be the biggest influence behind the name,

FUN FACT: I was originally going to name her Roxanne.

BETHANY MEADOWES

Bethany is quite a mundane name compared to the names of the other OCs but this was on purpose. Initially named Dorothea as a nod to her mother Dorcas, I changed it later because I thought that her character had a more contemporary vibe reminiscent of neon 90s clubbing (hence her creative hair styles and colourful braids) so I changed it to Bethany. Also, there's a KISS song by the same name.

Now if any of your parents happened to make the terrible choice of making you watch Glee with them growing up, you would know the experience of cultivating your taste in music around a show that mostly caters to show choir and the classic rock hits your dad salivates over.

And because I grew up watching Glee, I sadly consider myself a 'Dad who Salivates Over' said hits.

[ [ I am 18. Please recommend me some new music. ] ]

Anyway, there's this plotline in season 1 of Glee where Puck gets Quinn pregnant and they're both conflicted about the baby the later in the pregnancy it gets. Puck decides to whip out his acoustic guitar and sing to Quinn the song "Beth" by KISS and at the end he says he wants to name the kid Beth.

Now ignoring the deeply problematic origins of this train of thought, but the song "Beth" in the context of the show had a new meaning where it was the father saying he wouldn't be home to see his kid (or something like that).

Going back to Bethany the OC, her father died when she was a baby (during the First Wizarding War) and her mother doesn't talk about him. Bethany's name - and its relation to the KISS song in the Glee context - is a nod to what happened to him.

SAPPHIRE ETOILE

I mentioned that I usually name OCs after people or places in my life to pay homage to them. Sapphire is not as major as a nod to a relative but just a girl I remember growing up with and I thought her name was the coolest name EVER - so much so that it made me hate my own name for a bit there.

Anyway, I thought, "With a name like that, she's gotta have the eyes" because I once met ANOTHER girl with eyes that were a really vibrant blue and were darker than any I've ever seen.

Sapphire's was probably the most shallowest name I came up with but Etoile, her last name, is actually the French word for "Star" I believe and I just liked the sound of the name rolling off my tongue so I kept it.

WANT TO KNOW MORE? SEND ME AN ASK!

TAGLIST: @lokitrasho || @foxesandmagic || @wordspin-shares || @lilac-lemonade || @apollothe-sungod || @chickensarentcheap || @ocfairygodmother

[legends-live-in-memories]

I Have Too Many Opinions. ep. 1

lmao. i got encouragement to post my opinions on fandom things and now i want to make a miniseries doing just that. so here i am. doing just that.

im putting it under the cut cuz this was 4 whole pages including the disclaimer. yes i put a disclaimer and i explain why.

Anyways, here is the first piece in what inevitably will become fandom info dump, this time on thomas astruc’s writing on miraculous ladybug. but only some of my opinions cuz we would be here all day otherwise.

So… a disclaimer before I begin… 

I do not hate Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir (yes i'm using their government name). I am quite a fan of the show actually despite its faults. I am also older than the intended audience but was obviously younger when the show first aired which is how my interest was piqued (the fact that its been 6 years and only 3 seasons says more about the show than me being a fan for that amount of time but also i never want to rush content creators cuz they're doing their best) and due to my age, there will be inherent bias in my approach of what i'm about to say as there is in EVERY opinion. The fact that it is an opinion should imply the presence of bias but most people tend to lack the critical thinking skills required to draw that conclusion ANYWAYS…

If I did hate the show I would not have this blog nor would I be even writing this because i tend to not give more than 2 seconds of thought to things i actively dislike (some of yall should give this a try) and i'm allowed to like things that are designed for an audience that i was originally a part of but grew out of. (I don't suddenly stop liking things because I'm older despite what many younger fans seem to believe about older audiences. I also don't need to be ‘allowed’ to do anything cuz i wasn't asking for permission anyways.)

This will not be character bashing, astruc bashing nor fandom bashing cuz, again, that would imply i hate any of those elements and if i did, i would not dedicate brainpower to them. Analyses and criticisms of media are fun and engaging and required if you wish to produce good enjoyable content. Now most of this should be already assumed and self-explanatory but people on the internet like to play morality roulette roll dice on purity culture and I rather have documentation that I am in fact not bullying fictional 14 year olds or a grown man. But alas, people get trigger happy whenever someone has less than 1000000% positive opinions on something they like and will throw out words they can't define (gaslight, baiting, toxic, problematic, gatekeep etc) in an attempt to defend their blind devotion, 

which is not needed, if you like something you never have to defend it, even if i don't like it. If you respond to anything I post saying you disagree with me, I will not argue with you. I won't debate back and forth and try to convince you that the things you like are wrong. Unless you are being absolutely tone deaf to what i'm saying, you wont get a negative reaction from me. So don't try to fish for a fight. Please. I got metaphorical hands for days and I'm mean, you don't want me hurting your feelings on the internet. Do yourself the favour. Difference of opinion is how we get diversification in media and is inherently a good thing. Now that that's out of the way, please don't ever let me have to say that again. I beg.

Now onto the fun stuff

I didn't know what I wanted as a first topic so my trusty internet friend @moonlitceleste suggested astruc’s writing… 

AND BOI do i got some opinions on ole tommy boi. Again I don't hate the dude. In fact, he has worked on a few shows that had defined my childhood, including but not limited to W.I.T.C.H. (all eps available on youtube for those interested, 2 seasons, general fun time all around).

So I don't think he’s scum of the earth but I do think his approach to writing mlb specifically has more misses than hits.

The first big miss is that he has no idea how to write 14 year old girls. At all. Almost every girl he has ever written feels like some terrible archetype built entirely for marketability and childish projection and pubescent self-insert (kind of). He has never been a 14 year old girl. I have. In fact when the show first aired, I WAS around the (assumed) age of the mlb characters. The behaviour he passes off as quirky or awkward or just the character’s genuine personality tend to perpetuate harmful stereotypes of teen girls found in the media and are never actually addressed as harmful. they just get swept under the rug. Marinette’s exuberant collage of teen heart throb model boi Adrien Agreste and her very painful almost fan worship she has of him (which flip flops like a paper sandal in the rain) being portrayed as a cute school girl crush uwu, Chloe being the y7 Regina George, Alya being the token best friend of colour with her ‘sassy’ personality (i want y'all to imagine me eyerolling so hard i bust a vessel in my eye), Kagami being the very damaging Perfect Asian Child stereotype. And before y'all get on your dusty soap box and defend going on about “BUT IT'S FOR CHILDREN”,,,, know this.

 i don’t give a solid fuck. 

Not one. 

Children arent stupid. Children are always going to remember the richy bitchy blonde who bullies the art kid, and the big kid, and the shy kid, and the non white kids, and was only nice to her equally rich white friend who she probably had a crush on or was only ever civil to her equally white lapdog. They're going to remember the half asian girl who was never allowed to actually be asian or the only black girl who existed solely as a soundboard for enabling bad habits or chastising the main character for the same habits she enables in the first place (boi aint THAT a topic for later). Like do i really need to explain that alya chastising marinette for taking max’s spot in gamer just to play with adrien rings absolutely hollow when she actively encourages her to sabotage the contest she’s in just so Kagami doesn't win?? Like I don't have to explain that right?? Again kids arent stupid and its quite something that Mari gets chastised for proving herself the best video game player regardless of her intentions just cuz it comes at the expense of max’s feelings/ego but is actively encouraged to sabotage not only kagami but herself by extension cuz kagami is ‘competition.’ Adrien is not a trophy to be won. And no I don't expect 14 yrs old to be perfect and to always make good decisions but these decisions are never addressed as being bad decisions. they get swept under the rug cuz those decisions were necessary for the ‘plot’ but astruc can barely keep characterization consistent and his characters suffer for it and it's the same children you preach are watching it that suffer as well. Cuz guess what? I KNOW 14 yr olds aren't like that cuz i've been there done that (this is the last time i'm saying that i promise) so I know astruc is just metaphorically throwing darts to figure out who says and does what without consideration for pre established personalities to drive the stalemate plot along. The same kids you say are watching this don't know that that's not how preteens work and will absorb and internalize those dynamics like baking soda and vinegar. Cata-fucking-strophically. 

And I haven't even gotten to the boys yet. Which honestly doesn't require much explanation anyways cuz they suffer the same fate as the girls. Tired archetypes with nothing to give them life. Nino falls into Adrien’s person of colour token best friend who dates the female lead’s person of colour token best friend so they can have cute double dates uwu. Except the plot goes nowhere and we have no inclination of romantic development beyond moments that only act to actively convince me to anti ship the lovesquare (i don't want to do that so i self indulge in fanon that actually cares about the characters and plot. may i interest you in True Sight on AO3?). Max is the residential nerd but it doesn't matter (cuz he and everyone are dumbed down for the sake of ‘plot’), kim is the sports jock (which interestingly subverts the asian comedic relief stereotype but only barely) and luka is cute older guy ™ that wears black nail polish and is in a band. The point of all this is to say there is no depth in the characters. It's especially blatantly obvious with the characters astruc doesn't like (chloe). Again, it being a show for kids is not an excuse to be absolved of putting effort into the characters you make.

This is one of the biggest misses astruc has. I haven't even gone into all the nuances of this particular miss. And i havent gone into how that works against him in the plot either. Mostly because the plot itself hasn't gone anywhere and partially because I wanted to go into the plot (or lack thereof) separately as its own miss. 

AND BOI is it a miss. 

SO home boy astruc wanted to reap the benefits of a serial show with ‘engaging’ plot without putting in any of the work to make a linear storyline and relying on the episodic format for, again, marketability. You can't have the best of both worlds, you are not Avatar: The Last Airbender. Which btw has a lot less episodes and a desired end goal that didn't involve top dollar. Legend of Korra did but that's not the point and it had its failings with that too. I challenge you, tell me how many episodes actually contribute towards a plot point or introduce new thematic elements to the show? Can you name them? I can and I'm going to include the plot points that moved the story in some direction if only temporarily. Yes only temporarily for some of these and i will explain later. (if you're in the server you already saw this list *wink*)

25/26. Origins- self explanatory, the beginning of the story, 

24. Volpina- introduction of the grimoire and Master Fu (kind of) and no, Lila is not a plot point,

28. The Collector- proper introduction of Master Fu,

37. Sapotis- introduction of Rena Rouge,

41. Syren- introduction of new aquatic power ups,

44. Anansi- introduction of Carapace,

47. Frozer- introduction of new ice power ups,

48/49. Style Queen- introduction of Queen Bee,

51/52. Heroes’ Day- introduction of Mayura and mass akumatization,

66. Startrain- introduction of Pegasus,

67. Kwami Buster- Marinette wears multiple miraculouses,

68. Feast- backstory as to how the miraculouses were lost,

69. Ikari Gozen- introduction of Ryuko,

70. Timetagger- introduction of Bunnyx,

71. Party Crasher- introduction of Roi Singe and Viperion,

73. Chat Blanc- alternate timeline that essentially means nothing but got a reaction out of fans anyways (myself included)

 77/78. Love Eater/Battle of Miraculous- Marinette becomes guardian and other heroes lose their miraculous,

New York Special- other heroes exist and there is an American miraculous box,

That's 21 episodes. 21 out of a heaping 78 plus 2 specials. Everything else was just your typical akuma of the day episode and everything that happened outside that had no lasting consequences on the plot thanks to the miraculous status quo. Was it entertaining to watch Lila stir the plot of the class dynamic? Hell yeah. Too bad it meant nothing by the end of the episode cuz we were struck with miraculous status quo. She literally doesn't appear again until Heroes Day. that is from episodes 25 all the way to 51, she means nothing and yet she is treated with the severity of a b-villain/rival thing. She means nothing by the end of Volpina if I'm being honest. She is only relevant for 20 mins of episode time she’s in then it's back to magic status quo that undoes any shift in dynamics and relationships. It's like Spongebob who can't get his driver’s license. The worst part is I actually like Lila and I wish the story treated her with the seriousness we as an audience are expected to treat her with. Despite being painfully inconsequential by the end of each of the 3?? 4?? episodes she’s in, it's entertaining to watch a character create drama just because. 

Too bad it means nothing.

Astruc is constantly building up suspense to something ‘important’ only for it to not deliver and fans are constantly having the rug pulled out from under us. Oblivio teased us with a reveal only that gets undone cuz memory akuma. Chat Blanc teased us with romantic development but that gets undone cuz time travel bullshit. Feast introduced more miraculous lore and the history of the guardians but that means nothing by the next episode or ever (i'm not including any reference to the season 4 trailer cuz i've been around the block a few times and im familiar with this lil dancy dance). Heroes Day teased us with a possible future team of heroes but that gets undone in Battle of Miraculous cuz ????? why?? (here's why; astruc was having a jolly ole time letting us know how irredeemable Chloe is at the expense of shooting his own stagnant plot in the foot. Again, discussion for later.)

Too bad anything that slightly swerves off course from the akuma of the day gets undone or ignored. Too bad nothing has any lasting consequence. I mean, if anything did, the episodes would have had a consistent order and release schedule so im not scrambling to watch the leaked ep in Portuguese or something while the french dub is two episodes behind while the english version hasnt even been dubbed. I really wonder how he plans to conclude the show when he’s so afraid to step out of the corner he painted himself in.

Again, not going into nuances. If you want you can ask for more specifics (i doubt anyone would) but this is really just a slightly detailed general overview of my opinions on astruc’s writing. 

I was going to include another miss in his approach to this show but imma save that for another time. 

How’s that for a ‘first’ post?