#just because you don’t feel included

[ewwww-what]

The moment when you find exactly what you were looking for (it was your best friend the whole time)

(close-ups below & my commission info)

[mushramoo]

I hate that having ADHD is seen as “quirky”. Or one of the “lesser” mental disorders.

It is agonizing.

You are constantly forgetting everything, names, locations, tasks, items, everything. You misplace things subconsciously and have to spend half hours looking for them, only to find them in places you genuinely cannot recall at all. Your memory is nonexistent. You are constantly aware that you have things you need to do or need to be doing but you cannot remember what. You know you are forgetting something but it doesn’t come to you, so you spend all day anxious. You get awful moments of dysfunction where words become incomprehensible and you are incapable of completing a task, but people are quick to assume you are lazy no matter how hard you’re trying. And one of the worst parts is that you KNOW you’re letting people down. You know you can’t grasp time so you’re showing up late even though you left extremely early. You know someone expected something from you by a deadline but you genuinely couldn’t remember. And in academics, you know some of your teachers are trying hard to be accommodating but you can’t even do the most basic tasks by the given deadlines. Or! You get teachers that do not even understand what mental disorders are and accuse you of not trying. People think you are using your disorder as an excuse just because you know you have it and use it to explain some of your behaviors. If you mask well enough to never need help, you don’t get diagnosed even though it’s taking all of your strength just to get by. If you don’t mask well enough and you are fem presenting like I am you are told you aren’t acting out so you are fine. You can’t win. It’s not quirky to have ADHD, and we aren’t faking it.

It’s a constant struggle, and I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone.

[griancraft]

I wish more people were normal about POC, and specifically black, characters in the MCYT fandom. I mean, for obvious reasons related to CCs and all that, but also bc I often feel like I’m doing something wrong because sometimes I’m one of the only people I know how is getting like? Stimming flappy arms excited about my favourite black characters? It’s not like I’m singling them out either I get the exact same way about my favourite non black characters?

It’s jarring to get into skyjacks and see almost equal amounts of art of Jonnit as everyone else because I’ve been in this weirdly passively racist fandom for so long. People are so weird about like CANON (silly canon but) biggri and they make them weirdly toxic when they were so sweet. If it was Scar and Grian you people would be all over it. And dude fucking whatever happened to the way people drew Ponk. And, it’s not even just black ccs and characters. Don’t get me started on the way a lot of Dteam fans back in the day (and still some qsmp fans) talk about Asian women like Tina.

[sanyu-thewitch05]

Me watching the LGBT community who almost never rarely gives black women and girls, asexuals, or aromantics genuine respect, pretend we’re all friends and have always treated us right the minute it’s June 1st and want to use black women(mainly darkskinned) and girls as their little poster girl:

[babsvibes]

I’m feeling like it’s time for an ask wave

[i-love-proselfshippers]

The biggest shoutouts to selfshippers with f/os who mostly have ship content made of them. If it’s hard to look for solo content of your f/o because everything is shipping, remember that you know them better than anyone else. You do not need to feel obligated to ship something or headcanon a character the same way that a lot of people do. They love you!!! Their love for you and your love for them is what matters the most. Do not ever allow other people’s opinions to sway you into abandoning a selfship that’s important to you.

[waterberry-strawmelon]

just gonna go ahead and say this in advance—

if Riz does indeed come out in junior year, and he says, “I’m ace” or “I’m asexual” when referring specifically to his lack of romantic attraction, aromantic people are allowed to be upset about it.

[blazingblorbos]

It’s.. fascinating in a brand new way (a terribly disappointing way) to see HoYo fumble the bag this fast.

I was contemplating making a post about this a day or 2 ago, mostly about the Natlan explosion, but then Moze’s drip marketing happened… and suffice to say I think there’s a bit more substance for me to comment on 🫠

I’ll start with Natlan and try to articulate the thoughts properly, since both my own thoughts and my intake of others’ views has had a couple days to settle in my mind:

I wanna preface with the fact that I love Hoyoverse. I really, really do (I desperately wanna work for them, actually, lol. It’s a dream of mine). And I think that’s obvious to people who have seen a couple of my posts.

But it’s precisely because I love them so much, hold them in such a high regard, and respect mostly everything about them, that their recent performance has just left me deeply…. Disappointed.

Sheer, RAW disappoinment makes up the bulk of my feelings and attitude towards what they’ve been doing recently: which is not listening to their community where it REALLY matters. I was present when the uproar over Sumeru happened. I was disappointed then too, but at that time I more-so existed as a confused outsider observing what was going on (I am a poc but not SWANA). Everything about it — from the large-scale disrespectful mix of many cultures, to the 💀 TERRIBLE idea to not pronounce Tighnari’s name correctly AT ALL, to the abhorent lack of melanin in characters (that are DIRECTLY inspired by figures hailing from African countries) — was… bad. REALLLYYY bad. But I’ll be honest when I say: the way I rationalized it in my brain was “Well, they did add more dark-skinned characters to the roster! I guess this is just their version of ‘darker skin’ ” (which, by itself is already a terrible thing BECAUSE they take care to try and represent real world cultures faithfully).

So the fact that it’s happened again. And worse (SOMEHOW⁉️⁉️) is something that’s making me realize how lackluster it was before. And I am desperately rooting for a change. Fool me once, shame on me type shit genuinely.

Now.. in regards to Moze (Star Rail)’s EN VA 🫠. Everything I know about that man I learned in the past 24 hours. So all I will say is that EVEN if he’s worked to better himself, having been BLACKLISTED from the industry (BECAUSE THE CRIMES WENT ON FOR A DECADE!! MIND YOU) means it is way too fuckin soon to hire someone like that again 💀. They took action against Tighnari’s original VA, so that they’ve done this now is… weird…??? I’m just really confused, yo.

Edit, as of July 25, 2024: Chris made a post on his twitter claiming he has chosen to step down as the VA. 🫡 Step 1 is a W, congratulations everyone 🎉

[kbandtrash]

Okay lol let’s get some fluffy day6 thoughts going because for the 25th valentine’s day in a row I am single :D quarter of a century strong let’s go

Going in age reverse order because I love park sungjin too much to put him first. Best for last baby

Dowoon turns into Clifford the big red dog when you present him with your valentine’s confession treat of choice. Blushing incoherent mess like there are words coming out of his mouth but he’s so happy they’re unintelligible. He asks “this is really for me?” (there is no one else around) and all you hear after that is his excited giggles and that Busan satoori bobbing up and down, and you’re pretty sure he’s telling you he’s liked you for a long time and he can’t believe this is real life, but then out of nowhere he has your gift in one hand and your hand in the other, barely meeting your eyes, and he’s asking you in the sincerest deepest shiest voice possible if that means this is day one

Wonpil takes a minute to form his response but while he does it he’s bouncing on the balls of his feet, hiding his smile behind his hands, finding it hard to even look at you because you just look so dang cute. He finally breaks his silence to tell you exactly that with a grin so wide his cheeks are hurting and he’s afraid his face will freeze like that. He asks if he can hug you and it’s impossible to tell him no and then he holds you so tight you can hardly breathe but he’s just so excited to find out that his crush isn’t one sided that he can’t hold back his affection

Younghyun is floored. He doesn’t even realize he’s coming off as if he doesn’t like you and doesn’t know how to say it—he’s genuinely just surprised because how could he, a master of love songs, not have seen this coming? He meets your eyes, his mouth still hanging open as you awkwardly let your arms drop from offering him your gift, and as he sees you become flustered, he realizes that you think he’s rejecting you. So he stops you by grabbing your hands and asks if you mean it, this isn’t a prank? And the way his smile lights up his entire countenance makes up for his awkward initial reaction

Park Sungjin this silly man. He thinks you’re being friendly. Because he’s just a guy like how could he be the object of your affections? Even when you explain to him that no, you mean it, you like him, you would like to date him, even, he has to sit down for a moment and just say “oh wow!” because he’s not quite used to being Perceived like that. He likes going through life and making connections with people and more than once he’s thought he might like to experience life by your side, and now that the idea of holding your hand could become a reality, well, it’s just a little strange to him. He needs a little more time to think, but it’s not because he’s not sure his answer won’t be yes. He knows it’s yes already, and from the way he looks at you when he tells you this, you know it is too

[precious-little-bhaalbabe]

Raphael simps are a different breed. I want to study them.

[pepperpixel]

“And it’s! Clean out the bank and, bump off your daddy,

You can come live with us amidst the has-beens and the addicts!

These are crazy times down at Costello music!

You can answer the phone and talk any way you choose it, come on!”

More Betty and Magic Man! And… I maybe should wait to post these as part of a photoset cuz… I do still have more wip stuff of them but… I spent all of today coloring these chibis I wanna upload them ghgh-

[paimonial-rage]

DILUC AND 8 (their pet peeves) -- @milkstore

[Character Analysis Ask Meme]

What are Diluc’s pet peeves?

Lack of respect for service workers - Some may find it surprising seeing how rude Diluc is to the Knights of Favonius, but it’s true. Growing up on the winery, Diluc has seen firsthand the amount of work that goes into making wine and caring for the mansion. He understands the pride his workers put into their jobs. Not to mention his father raised him, not only to respect those under him, but to protect them as well. Is it really surprising then that he does not stand for those who harass his workers? To him, they’re the scum of the earth.

[valewritessss]

Finally deleted MyFitnessPal off my phone for my own personal sanity

[bisexualseraphim]

Possible spicy take but I’m so bored of people crying ABLEISM!!! whenever someone has a controversial opinion such as “hi I am a service worker and I feel dehumanised when all you do is stare blankly at me or bark your order at me please smile and say hello”

As an autistic person who until just 2 years ago was so socially anxious I couldn’t go outside alone, if you’re an adult and you can’t even give someone a quick smile and a “good thanks how are you?” that’s not poor social skills due to autism or social anxiety, that’s you being a prick.

It is the absolute most basic human decency and manners to fucking smile at someone and say hello and if you’ve made it to adulthood without learning that then someone deeply failed you. It takes 2 seconds and costs absolutely nothing. Yes you may find small talk or whatever uncomfortable, but most people do and it’s just a part of life that you’ve got to learn to deal with. Being a bit awkward or uncomfortable isn’t trauma. You don’t have to tell your whole life story when they ask you how you are, but don’t just fucking ignore them. And tbh associating neurodivergence with acting like an asshole is ironically one of the most ableist things you can do

Also, I see a LOT of people daily who just walk up to service workers and go “CHEESEBURGER” without a “please” or “hello” and I know that 90% of people aren’t autistic adults who were never taught the bare minimum social skills so don’t bullshit me with that excuse. You all just want any reason to be mean or rude and it’s gross

*NOTE: This post is obviously not talking about non-verbal people or anyone else who may struggle with the simplest general conversation due to disability. It’s about people who are capable of having a normal social interaction with for example friends, but then use neurodivergence as an excuse not to treat others with basic decency

[monards]

i fear that i don’t acknowledge enough the fact that i KNOW rhinedottir's evil !!! and she's horrible !!! and that she's wholly ireedamable !!! i know and love and respect that fact !!! i'd shoot myself in the frontal lobe if hoyo made her out to NOT be wholly evil !!!! but the reason i always go on and on and on about her humanity and complexity is because. SHE IS ALWAYS DUMBED DOWN !!!! TO JUST THAT !!!! it's literally the greatest and most moving theme (IN MY OPINION!!!) in genshin, that human beings are COMPLEX !!!! and they're MORE than just evil or bad or wtv. we see this through every character to almost ever be introduced to us -> literally just take arlecchino as an example. if anyone was at all paying attention to the discourse around her when the fontaine teaser dropped (and. 4.0 in general) it was the BIGGEST thing to watch people argue between "she's a harbinger, so she's clearly the most evil and the big antagonist of fontaine because of these accounts we have right now !!" versus the argument of "we've only seen ONE perspective of her so far, and it's no duh that all this stuff sucks -- but there's no way she's JUST gonna be all these horrible things,, because literally nobody to exist is just horrible and cruel with zero to no good in them. and also that'd make a shit narrative by hoyo in a story driven game" AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENED !!!! we saw !!! in REAL time !!! that while arlecchino was rightfully cruel and horrible and, yes the things she did were fucked up beyond belief and she should absolutely not be excused for any of it - she is NOT just evil ! she's shown to care, albeit in a fucked up way that only shows she's even more deranged ; but what's so incredibly important about her is the way that her being "evil" doesn't mean she's incapable of anything else. She is evil, yes— but so many of those evil actions have *motives* and *reasons* that explain them (but not excuse or condone!) and, although they don’t save her grace or anything of the sort, they DO show her true character. AND YHATS SO IMPORTANT!!!! She’s capable of being an antagonist while still being justified in some form, and given nuance and backstory and redeemable traits

I am !!! NEVER !!! going to say rhinedottir is a good person. she isn't! no shit sherlock ! how the fuck do you think im gonna go on and ignore the fact she sent both her kids to their deaths, and also fed one to another. dare i say, that is NOT anything good !!! suprise of the century !! woah !!! -- but what i AM gonna say is that she's much beyond that? hello !! not only has the point of her having not a zero good trait or will in her body been. proven false over and over and over again. but it's such ! Sad and not compelling is character choice for her *not* to be nuanced and complex and justified in a fucked up !! — like do you REALLY think hoyoverse (who is clearly capable of, and likes to make) complex characters, who are horrible, while not being *only* those horrible things, would pass up a golden (haha) opportunity to make a characters whose entire existence is JUST that??!,!2????

believe what you want! Do what you want! This is a silly video game that will be eroded along with time in a hundred in so years ! But god so help me, please don’t be willfully ignorant to the complexity and nuance of characters, just because you want a villain. No villain , real or not, is entirely evil. People are complex and multi faceted and people really, really need to hop off this cart of going “okay but stop saying she’s multifaceted because it takes away from her being evil” because it DOESNT! If anything, it makes her so much more compelling . Which is something some people can apparently. Not handle.

[hp-lonesome-actual-art]

Uhm, quick batch of rough doodles from today. Nothing too impressive here just trying to strengthen my muscle memory and ability to recreate his given expressions. First two where using an image reference since I feel like I always go off model whenever I try on my own (hence the two last ones being more stylized) :/

Also another photo close-up of this one in particular because OOOOOH SIR I love when people draw him with thick glossy eyeshadow I can’t stop staring at his eyes like that help he’s just too damn gorgeous or something. I’ll try to give an update on how much I would allow myself to simp because with me being aroace I can never tell how to gauge these kinds of things with my fictional fixations << for now we’re chilling with some standard platonic admiration tho so it’s all good (…I think. A particular artwork would beg to disagree with me on that but shush we will get to it later lol. Innocent until proven guilty verdict)