#this isn’t necessarily targeted but also it is but not in the “im taking to you”’ way yk

[findingcrow]

It’s so funny to me because I’ve only been on tumblr like a month and I got it for the rangers apprentice content (because god knows that the fandom is nonexistent elsewhere) and I can recognize users and profile pictures. Like I don’t know these people personally but I notice every time they like a post because there’s only so many of us and only so much content FOR consuming. I go on Pinterest and search the rangers apprentice and go “Hey, I’ve seen that person around!!” I have never spoken a word to these people in my life yet I know who they are and that they, too, are obsessed with a stupid fantasy series for middle schoolers

[dracolunae]

Hey, i was wondering if you could give some tips on how to write image IDs? I've been starting to add them to the alt text of my image selfposts but i feel like im not doing them properly and since you have the update accounts and write them often i thought that you could give some good advice about it Also here's some other halloween candy for you lmao

[Image ID:

A photo of a long white ceramic serving plate topped with slices of cake with a light and dark swirled pattern in the cross section. The slices are laid out like tipped over dominos bricks.

End ID]

Yay! Marmorkuchen!

But about image IDs. I tend to go from big to small in the description. Describe the most banel basic ass shit first, like “Is this a photo, is it art, if so what kind? Digital? Photograph or scan of a manual drawing? Is this an infographic?” From then you can describe the general topics, themes and layout of whatever it is you’re describing. You also have to consider whether you’re writing this ID for people who are familiar with the contents (fanart) or if it’s gonna be for people who don’t. Deciding the level of detail is a personal choice but mostly influenced by what amount of detail is necessary for this to be a functional image ID. You wouldn’t describe the font that something is written in unless it matters for example!

You can also decide what writing style best fits the ID. i tend to write full, dense sentences to get as much info in without the ID running too long but I also write in full sentences and following grammar rules. Sometimes a note taking style works better if there’s lots of disjointed things you can’t fit well into nice sentences!

And if you’re describing multiple things or a series of things in one post you can describe key elements in more detail once and then refer to them more simply for the rest of the ID!

I normally avoid putting IDs in alt text because they can be harder to access for people and have a much shorter character limit. Also try to always surround your ID with some form of ID start and end indicators and keep the ID, if in the body of the text, as close to the image as possible!

As an example, say you’re got a 4 panel comic, I’d describe it like this (gonna make smth up as an example) if I was writing a description for an audience who isn’t necessarily super familiar with the material.

[Image ID:

A 4 panel comic of a made up scene in Just Roll With It Riptide. It is drawn digitally and fully coloured. The scene takes place on a ship, presumably the one the show is set on, called the Albatross.

Panel One: Jay, a woman with long ginger hair wearing a blue jacket over a white blouse, catches Gillion, a turquoise skinned Triton with green hair, fish fins and wearing a black sleeveless turtleneck shirt, sneaking around the ship. Gillion is carrying a brown sack over his shoulder and sneaking. A speech bubble from Jay reads: “Gillion, what are you doing?”

Panel 2: Gillion is turned towards Jay, looking sheepish. You can see that the bag he’s carrying is filled with gold, which is leaking a little trail of coins behind him. Now that you can see Gillion’s entire body you can see he also has a tail and a flask of water tied around his waist, containing a small cute pink frog-octopus hybrid, which is know as Pretzel. Gillion: “Nothing Jay! I am merely, uh, relieving the ship of an unnecessary load so we can sail faster!”

Panel 3: Jay and Gillion stare at each other, Jay is unimpressed. Pretzel, peaking out of the flask at Gillion’s hip, starts collecting coins from where they leak out of the bag. Jay: “Gillion if you throw any more gold overboard as taxes I’m throwing you overboard to lighten our load.” “You” is written in italics for emphasis.

Panel 4: Gillion starts sprinting towards the edge of the ship, indicated through a running pose and blur lines, with Jay giving chase. Her eyes are in glowing red and a targeting reticule is superimposed over one of her eyes, as though she was locking in on her target (Gillion). A stream of gold sprays everywhere from the speed of the chase and Pretzel goes flying with it.

End ID]

[yournightowl]

Your Nightowl #027

i’ve noticed that the discussion around HK has splintered into three distinct groups.

The first group is the Detectives ಠ_ರೃ- the true crimers, the inquisitive types, the ones looking for a good mystery above all else, even to the point that they’ll ignore the plain answer just to keep the thread spinning a little while longer. It should go without saying that this group is the biggest and the easiest to empathize with. You might need to learn to excuse a little bit of insensitivity here or there, but you can hold real conversations with them and get real responses. i do, however, think that there’s more bleedover between them and the next group than most people would like to admit.

Said group (the loudest group) would be the Theorists. The ones convinced that all of HK’s targets were actually androids, or the incognito operators of cell corporations, or just plain old lizard people. ヽ(͡◕ ͜ʖ ͡◕)ﾉ Sure. Why not?

 For a big portion of them, this is all just trolling. That’s obnoxious, but whatever- Everyone’s done it, here or there. If you get recognized, you were just being ironic. If you get cornered, it's their fault for taking you seriously. ¯\_( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)_/¯ We all know the drill by this point.

Well maybe we don’t all know the drill. Every other day I see people in the media monologuing about how taken aback they are by the swell of conspiracy theories surrounding HK- Like they expected us to have left such childish things behind in the 20th century.

We didn’t. From what i’ve seen with my own eyes, out there in the real world, and back here on the oldnet, it’s only gotten worse. We’re still children.

Which isn’t necessarily a grim thought. I mean, if this is what humanity looks like when we’re fully formed, crystallized, and paying our taxes without our parent’s help? We’re screwed.

One last thing about the conspiracy theorists- their the only ones making money off of this tragedy. It’s not much, of course- Just whatever small profit they can eke out by spending all day on socials, parroting each other's talking points in an accelerating feedback loop that spirals directly to their store page, where you can buy coffee mugs that show how you think the state has secret death camps.

But its still dirty money if you ask me.

Which brings me to the last group: the nutjobs. ( °□°) ︵ ┻━┻

Maybe that’s too harsh. The Crazies?

Freaks is too sharp on the tongue.

But this is the written word, so maybe it’s forgivable.

Whatever you want to call them, they all sound similar.

“Dear hk, please unalive my boss”

“/srs hk should merc my stepdad”

“I want hk to shoot me before i start my next shift and im not even joking at this point”

Obviously, most of these are just people venting, which will always be ugly to see, and hard to read. It’s still in poor taste, but it’s definitely better for them to type it out into the void than to walk around with thoughts like that festering in the back of their mind. “ψ (｀∇´) ψ

But they aren’t all just people venting. Some amount of them aren’t being ironic. Some amount of them like what HK’s doing. They like seeing wrenches thrown in the works, even if the wrenches happen to be innocent people with bullets where their aorta’s used to be. And while this third group is definitely the smallest, it’s also the most naturally private.

I’m not worried that they’re some kind of silent majority or anything, it’s just

They’re silent.

So there could be a shitload of them out there, and even they wouldn’t know it. There could be thousands of HK fanboys out there waiting for a leader to step forward.

Step forward and funnel their frustration into coffee mugs, ʘ‿ʘ hopefully.

Cause otherwise, they might get tired of waiting for a leader.

And they just might get started without one.

To avoid ending on a grim note again, i’d like to instead insert here, in no particular order, my favorite theories about HK is, taken from the most disliked posts on the biggest conspiracy forum i could find.

-hk is an AI possessing random individuals through their Mods

-hk is an assassin working for the Elites to eliminate people found to have high genetic predisposition to resisting authority figures

-hk is a team of State Operatives culling the illegitimate children of powerful CEOs in order to keep them in check (how would this work?)

-hk is an angel of death but not like a grim reaper the beautiful kind biblically accurate

-hk is my cleaning guy who is secretly a robot (that was the entire thread)

International blogger of mystery,

Your nightowl

[yeoreos]

avid || jjk (m)

pairing: demon!jungkook x human!reader

genre: 18+, smut

summary: jungkook finds you at a bar and sets you as his night's target

warnings: oh lord smut. lots and lots of smut.

wc: 4k

note: i was kind of lazy to finish it, but hey, its 4k of foreplay; nothing beats that! (also sorry for not posting in a while i was busy with beginning of year exams *cries*)

jungkook first noticed you in a bar. on weekends, it was transformed into a seedy nightclub. he liked to go there while he was looking for something to eat; something to conquer for the night. he discovered a plethora of attractive females and, each with broken hearts and hungry gazes - all yearning for a nighttime lover.

he never believed his eyes when they landed on you. the state you were in was pitiful. he guessed that you had just broken up with this boyfriend of yours, hence the mascara and ruined makeup on your face. or perhaps it was a platonic breakup. despite your state, his mahogany orbs never left your figure. what a cute thing you were.

a pretty face that was exactly his type, the perfect curves of your tits, hips, and ass has his knees weak. if you were to ask, he would give.

of course, his initial plan had been thrown out the window the instant he saw you. you leaned against the bar, accepting an order, with a grin on your lips. It sparked something in him, all the confidence (whether it be from the alcohol in your veins or not, it didn't matter to him) and allure.

he knew your name. how could he miss the way your own name rolled off of your tongue so easily? how could he miss the way your lips formed a smirk after seeing jungkook? how could he miss your scent when you pulled him in to kiss you?

this was jungkook's specialty, depravity. wherever he went, he brought a tale of wickedness and depravity with him, the quality hooking onto him like a magnet.

he was a fallen angel, to be sure. a demon, a fallen angel. to be more specific, an incubus. he fed off of sex and vice, appetites and irrational cravings. he drank often in front of ladies like you, at bars or in beds, whose gazes wracked over him, and he fed off of human energy.

over time, after a handful of centuries, he had gotten bored of playing the same old games in bed. jungkook knew what he wanted, however, he was never able to satisfy that itch in the back of his throat, yearning for something to quench his sinful thirst.

he was tired, watching from atop the hill nearby, where he watched the sun rest for the night. just like you had. the darkness of the night overtook the city of seoul and jungkook knew it was his hour to strike; to feed his thirst.

so, the demon went after you, hovering over your small figure over the pathetic excuse of a bed. the soft rising and falling of your chest and the soft snores that escaped from your mouth once in a while, was all the proof jungkook needed that you were fast asleep.

jungkook extended his hand towards you, brushing his knuckles on your cheek, a tremor coursing through his body as a result of the contact. the energy you were emitting caused every molecule in his body to twitch in response. captivating.

oh how badly he wanted a taste.

when you stirred a little, a small groan leaving your lips, jungkook stilled. had you woken up? however, it was just a small movement you were causing in your sleep which allowed you to further curl up against the pillow.

he grinned.

it was time.

"let's go in that dream of yours, shall we?"

-

when he opened his eyes again, jungkook didn't expect himself to be in the same bar, be in the same exact position as before. however, this time, you were looking directly at him with your hungry eyes, mimicking his.

ever since heaven had decided to clip his wings, jungkook gave up on the little purity he had left, letting himself follow his heart.

so that's why he felt no shame in eyeing your figure up and down multiple times.

it wasn't necessarily anything that stood out about you, but it was just the aura you were giving off, that sweet feminine scent that lingered near the air around you, that small curve of your lips. but it might have mostly been the way you called for him, despite not knowing his name.

"hello, handsome."

jungkook didn't really have a preference when coming to his targets. he didn't prefer virgins; he always thought that they were inexperienced and didn't know how to give a good head. he didn't prefer the experienced either; he always thought that they knew too much and made the sex too sloppy. it was somewhere in between. and by the looks of it, you seemed like the perfect target. it had his insides churning, a long yearning for a good fuck. he thought he was going crazy.

throughout his centuries of living, he saw empires and clans of royalty fall and rebuild itself, being reborn. he didn't go out of his way to feel good, but he took whatever the universe offered to him. in this case, it was you.

when the surroundings suddenly changed to a much quieter one, where no one was bumping into each other, jungkook furrowed his eyebrows. it did not, however, take him long to notice that you were in the premises of your bedroom, the small plants on your windowsill being a huge clue.

“who are you?” you inquired, your voice scarcely audible. smirking, the man took a step forward. in contrast to his sparkling eyes, the moonlight from the window follows his body flawlessly, giving him a blue tone on his skin. you became aware of his exposed skin due to his lack of clothing. as you took in his powerful body, a flicker of longing tingled between your legs.

the man stayed deafeningly silent. instead, the man crept onto the bed, trailed by what appeared to be a shadow. you kept a tight eye on his every move because you couldn't move. you felt yourself spreading your legs wide as he crept over top of you. you had a tremendous want to feel him and be completely consumed by him.

despite being a demon, a sex demon (literally), jungkook still understood the morals of consent, making sure it was his top priority. after all, he wouldn't want it if he was in your position.

"are you okay with what's going to happen?" his words were like a captivating chime in your ears, quickly relaxing you and making you desire more. you found yourself placing our hands on his shoulders in order to feel his silky skin. how was it possible for a man to be both burning hot and icy cold at the same time? the dampness between your legs was unbearable, and you were drawn to him with all your might. your nipples perked beneath your shirt as you didn’t wear a bra to bed, you remembered. this made sense. something you remembered vividly. just a shirt and panties was all you wore to bed. clearly you must be dreaming, so you may as well indulge without regret.

"y-yes." you dropped your hands to grasp your shirt and pull it over your head to display your nakedness while looking into the man's eyes. with a hunger for your every move, he kept an eye on you. as he glanced over you, his throat vibrated with a palpable growl. you noticed he was completely hard as your gaze slid down your body with his. in a humble tone, you inquire, "is this real? this isn't a dream, is it?"

the man's grin makes your entire body twitch. you feel him quickly remove your underpants and fling it somewhere off the bed. you become acutely aware of the excitement between your legs as well as the heat emanating from his body. he lowers himself still more until he's right up against your door.

“would you prefer to be dreaming... or would you prefer to be here with me?” the man inquires, his tone innocent but with a sinister undertone.

when you reached for your thighs to give yourself some relief, there was nothing there. as your eyes scanned your surroundings, all you could feel was the chill of your own flesh. red. your vision was completely red. it was almost as if someone had brought in a red mood lamp and shone it throughout the room. it was entirely painted in a bright crimson color. your epidermis. the walls on all four directions. it was all red.

everything seemed hazy and perplexing, and you wondered where you were. you were in a new environment. some may even argue it was a living hell.

you sat up and wrapped yourself in the nearest blanket you could locate before standing up. warm wooden floorboards greeted your bare feet. “what?” kneeling down, you firmly pressed your hand on the wood once again to be sure you weren't hallucinating, but then again, what's to say you weren't hallucinating the whole thing?

'im not a lunatic... you thought to yourself as the warm sensation of the wood stretched across your palm. you straightened up and looked about your flat, trying to figure out what you could do about the red. you stood up straight and began to look around your apartment to see if there was anything you could do about the red. nibbling on your lower lip gently, you stood up straight and began to look around your apartment to see if there was anything you could do about the red.

the door to your bedroom squeaks open just as you were ready to turn on the light switch. the sound reverberated throughout the room with such eerie intensity that you were nearly persuaded your tv had turned back on and was showing yet another horror movie. then something happened. from your room, a man who could only be described as the devil strolled in as if he owned the place. you would be fascinated by this man's beauty if he hadn't just walked in like that. a scar runs from the left side of his jaw all the way down to his neck, giving him a strong jawline. his delicate yet sharp-looking features are caressed by soft wild hair, and his adorable small head is adorned with two pointy horns. it was the eyes, though, that drew your attention.

not the fact that he emerged from your room shirtless. nor the fact that he had claws and a commanding tail swishing back and forth. no, it was those soulless black eyes that were piercing right through you. your very being. you were in some type of trans as the mystery man - no, not man - thanks to those black coals. devil. That sounded more like it.

you couldn't take your gaze away, but as your feet shuffled you further away from this entity, they did all the thinking for you. it only appeared to encourage the beast to keep going before you pressed up against him and the wall. as you summoned the strength to speak up, your grip on the blanket trembled a little. “wh-what are you looking for?” your voice faded away quietly.

the devil had smirked at your frailty and little dread before running a clawed hand through your unkempt hair “i'm starving, my love.” before leaning in and drinking in your aroma, it spoke in the lowest, almost infantile voice. “won't you feed me nice and well, love? after all, you did want this to be real, right?” you weren't sure if it was the tone of his voice or the proximity, but you nodded in accord.

he grabbed your neck and ran his tongue across his lips before taking you into a harsh but passionate kiss. soft cherry red lips ravished your lips in a ravenous embrace while his hands roamed across your body, grasping and groping everything it could find.

a deep moan emerged from both of you as you felt the tightness of his jeans against your leg, causing a burning feeling. the burning of want burned through your skin everywhere he touched, everywhere he invaded with his mouth, hands, and body. it was almost a nasty, twisted euphoria that made your cunt clench around nothing in eagerness.

as the unnamed monster looked you up and down, an almost animalistic growl exited his throat as he took a deep inhale, you gasped for air. “love, you smell so fucking amazing for me.” he spoke in hushed tones through little pockets of air. “you're so delicious that i could devour you whole.”

the very thought of doing so appeared to amuse him, as he let out a brief but malicious laugh before narrowing his focus to the blanket still clinging to you.

with a scowl on his face, he clasped his larger hand around the one holding the blanket in place before yanking at it, only to have you keep it in place. the devil, with his head cocked to the side, gazed at you, perplexed, as if he didn't understand what you were doing.

“it's just that,” you murmured, tightening your jaw at the gaze those empty eyes gave you like a chill up your spine, "i feel comfortable like this...” you muttered the last bit, swallowing any spit you had.

but there was no justification or apology for him, so he raised his claw into the air and cut the blanket, ripping it open wide.

fear, as well as the lust racing through your veins, were clouding your judgment once more. the notion that his claws were so near to slicing you terrified you and turned you on like nothing you'd ever experienced. it gave a sense of how perilous it was to be so near to this creature, which was part of what made it so thrilling.

"baby, nothing is safe when i'm around."

those words, on the other hand, did it for you. you reached out to him as soon as you dropped the tattered blanket on the floor, exposing yourself to him. you drew him back into another intense kiss by wrapping your arms around him and springing up to wrap your legs around his waist. as he grasped your thighs to keep you in place, he was caught completely off guard by your sudden bravery.

each passing breath spent on one another battling for control, hips sliding up against each other as your damp panties rubbed up against his encaged dick, which was most definitely pressing painfully against the denim trousers he was wearing, made the kiss more hungry and animal-like. the cool contact of skin moving up against your back and down your underwear made you whimper.

despite his animalistic state, you always thought he was beautiful, a rare creature. "you're beautiful," you murmured, oblivious to the fact that you were saying it aloud. he laughed with his head tilted back. his neck was big and thick, but it was the raised markings that went all the way around it that caught your eye; they were woven together like chains, as if he had been choked with scorching metal.

the demon kissed you long and hard, barely pausing to breathe. His tongue was lengthy and had a split down the center. it was a novel experience that was strangely addictive. you became engrossed in the way it encircled your own. with his fangs, the monster simply paused to tug on your lower lip. as his hand moved down to your thigh, you let out a faint little groan.

he sang, “such a good girl,” as he drew you up into his arms. Jungkook snatched you up like feather. as you placed your legs around his tiny waist, his arms bulged. before he entered your room, he gave you a lengthy, scorching kiss. you had your arms around his neck, sliding your fingers through his hair and scraping against the base of one of his horns as an experiment.

the devil looked down at you as you lay on your bed, his crimson eyes flashing in the dim light. only those eyes and the white-tipped base of his horns could be seen with the moon blearily seeping through your blinds. it felt as though the monster beneath your bed had arrived to devour you. slowly, he moved his hand up the wall, flicking on the light and bathing you both in a golden glow.

you eventually let your gaze drift away from his, focusing on his toned chest, tight waist, and muscular thighs. when you noticed the bulge yearning to be freed from his pants, you licked your lips. he finally went closer, his lips brushing against yours as he crept between your legs. his hands crept up to the band of your shorts, the heat of his palm scorching and heavy on your bare thighs.

he yanked your shorts down your hips and flung them behind him as he kissed you. he tore through your shirt even quicker, softly cursing as he saw your naked breasts. you yanked on his shirt, trying to get a better look at him and to touch every scrap of exposed flesh you could discover. he sat back and yanked his shirt off, displaying golden skin stained with crimson ink and muscular abs that rippled with each breath. you were so focused on his appearance that you almost missed the expression in his eye as he glanced down at you.

“fuck, you look like an angel,” he said, reaching down to rip your panties apart, only to shred them. your moist lips were exposed by the chilly air as you gasped. at the sight, he bit his lower lip and groaned. “very gentle and plaint." slowly, he ran his hands down your body, starting at the rib cage and working their way down to your thighs.

his fingers became hotter and hotter along the way, till they were on the verge of burning. until he came to your knees and quickly shoved your legs apart and up, crimson streaks remained on your skin. smirking at your hiss of pain, his palms pushed your thigh back till they touched your chest. “so ready to be used,” he states.

"please do."

“well, angel, since you asked so nicely,” he leaned very close to your cunt and licked a lengthy strip. his forked tongue slithered inside your slit, relishing in the lengthy groan that came out of your mouth. he swirled above the opening for a minute, then slipped just the tip of it inside when you finally relaxed against him.

jungkook gradually started penetrating your pussy with his tongue. the warm, slithery appendage that slithers in and out of you with increasing ease, flicking at your g-spot and making you whine in delight. you exhaled with relief when he licked up to your clit, only to scream when he clamped his mouth over the delicate nub and sucked hard enough for you to see stars.

moans and groans emitted from your lips and the demon could have sworn he had never heard anything prettier. his mouth salivates against your lips, only causing him to dip down near your entrance and trail his tongue back to your little nub. oh how sweet you were.

"my angel's already close to cumming?" there was no denying that. he had already noticed you were quickly approaching your high by the way you tugged on his locks and the way your moans became higher in pitch.

the demon took two of his long fingers and slipped them into your pussy, a squelching noise emitting from the action. you tugged so hard on your lips that it was plump and swollen, the irony blood almost spilling from them. he quickly started pumping his fingers and curling it, sending you seeing stars. he wanted you to get ready for the real deal (aka his cock).

"god, please fuck me, please please i'm so close to cumming but i wanna cum on your cock, please," if it weren't for you sounding so pretty and desperate for him, the demon would have prolonged the foreplay.

“there is no ‘god' here,” he hissed, sliding two fingers inside your pussy and sucking hard on your clit as you almost shouted in delight. his fingers curled within you quickly, drawing you closer to the brink. your fingers ran aimlessly through his hair, yanking it back to keep him near. you scratched on one of his horns with your nails.

it wasn't until another orgasm crashed upon you that the demon stopped.

you were spent; messy hair, hazy eyes, drool dripping down your chin and onto your neck and some parts of your chest.

as sly as a fox, you felt jungkook pressing his heavy length on your clit, the warmth and hardness of it evident in the way it pressed up against the little nub. jungkook evilly rutted against the bundle, sending sharp pleasures erupting from the mere action.

you thought he would stop at a few thrusts, however, jungkook had other plans in mind. those being seeing you completely helpless underneath him (not like you weren't before).

with one more came a push, your insides clenching and squeezing the head of his cock like a vice. jungkook stills above you; only the tip in and you're already this tight? he allows a shaky breath to reveal itself from his throat, the sound coming out a little more strangled and choked that he intended it to be.

you took him inch by glorious inch. the two of you reveled in the pleasure, drinking off of each other's moans and heat.

the rest of the night was spent in each other's arms. it wasn't romantic, but it sure as hell was full of pleasure.

[shadyteacup]

Hi! Im the one req 7 for chuuya sorry i didint specified, i just realized it. Can i get angst prompt 7 for chuuya?

Hiya! This pained me to write, so I made it fluffy at the end... sorry if u were looking for pure angst! I can't go to sleep peacefully peacefully after writing angst, I need to clutch my soft toys and cry myself to sleep..

Warnings: Angst to fluff, maybe a swear word at the end.. dw, it's just "bish", but like the actual word.

Word count: 2006 😳yes, I got carried away

Nakahara Chuuya + “Please wake up”

Forewarning

“Don’t move, Chu.”

You grumbled against his chest. It was yet another lazy morning for the two of you. Lazy mornings consisted of waking up late, cuddling on the bed till lunch time, getting dressed and having dinner at some exotic place, going for a long drive, then coming back home. It was a perfect day for a traditional lazy day, except for the fact it was a weekday.

Chuuya sighed. He had to get to work, and so did you. You both couldn’t afford to miss any workdays, considering that you both worked for the same organization, one that didn’t hesitate to punish for untimely work. Chuuya was an executive, and so were you. You both had multiple solo missions planned out for today and one mission wherein you both had to team up. It was going to be quite a busy day, and Chuuya wanted nothing more than to just get it all over with. He was looking forward to some lazy cuddles in the evening, after both of your jobs were done.

“We have to get dressed, dove.”

He tried reasoning with you. You were a workaholic, just like him. It surprised him to see this lazy side of you. But then again, you must be tired, he thought.

“I know. But let’s bunk today!”

You looked up at him with wide eyes, hoping to convince him.

Chuckling, he pet your head affectionately.

“The mafia isn’t some school that you could just bunk. Besides, don’t you love working?”

You frowned at that. You were feeling weird today. It’s like something was forewarning you. But about what?

“I just have a bad feeling about today. I don’t know why, but I feel like something bad is going to happen.”

He sighed. He was never one to believe I such things. That was why you weren’t telling him until now.

“We work in the mafia. How worse can it get?”

“I suppose you’re right.”

You smiled, getting up to get ready.

....

“The target is in the warehouse.”

Chuuya said to you. You both were currently seated in Chuuya’ s car, parked on a hill. Your stakeout point had a clear view of an abandoned warehouse. Apparently, it was the location where a rival gang was coordinating with some members of the mafia and stealing their goods. You both had already executed the moles and had sent in one of your trusted members as a pretend mole. He would send you both a signal when he felt that the security was the weakest at the entrance. You both would then attack. He was supposed to cause a commotion in there, resulting in majority of the guards to rush inside and leave the entrance wide open for you two. Your men had already sealed all exits to ensure no one got out. Now you were both waiting for the signal.

“Yeah, no shit, Sherlock.”

Chuuya pouted at your jab.

“I was just being thorough!”

“By stating the obvious?”

“You’re so mean.”

“Says the angry redhead.”

“What has my hair got to do with anything?!”

“Your hair has got to do with everything! I-”

A sharp sound was heard. Both you and Chuuya were blinded for a second as white filled your vision. You felt your torso pinch a little. It almost felt like someone was sticking a few needles into your tummy. You heard screams. They sounded frantic. A few moments later, your vision cleared, and you saw yourself floating in the air, a frantic Chuuya saying something to you. It all sounded mangled and mixed up. If you could have laughed at the moment, you would have laughed at how funny he sounded.

The screams had turned to cries, now. You were so confused. Who was crying? And why was Chuuya pressing down on your stomach?

Looking down, you saw the blood. There was blood everywhere. It had completely soaked your shirt. Chuuya was using his ability and his hands to keep it in. He seemed hurried. His eyes were watery, and streams of tears were flowing down his cheeks.

Finally understanding the situation, you realised that you were injured. Looking down at your torso, you saw the two bullet wounds. And now, you finally felt them. The pain was overwhelming. It rushed in like water at the breaking of a dam. It completely filled you up. You now realised that those cries of pain were actually your own. You wished to have never woken from your daze. You wanted to remain oblivious. You wanted the pain to go back to mere pinpricks. It was too much. Succumbing to the enormous pain, you let your eyes shut close. You realised that your body was going to sleep. Maybe for the last time.

....

Chuuya sat in a chair next to your sleeping form. You were lying unconscious on the clean white sheets of the hospital bed. Your entire torso was covered in bandages. You had taken two bullets, one in the side and one right next to your belly button. The doctors were able to save you in time, and it was a matter of time till you gained consciousness.

Chuuya held his face in his hands. The memories of just moments prior to visiting the hospital kept running through his head. He kept seeing flashes of your blood oozing out of your body. He kept remembering the way your eyes had glazed over while he tried to apply pressure on your wounds. There was so much blood. His mere two hands were proving to be inefficient. So, he had activated his ability to push the blood back in. He had no clue if that had helped. He remembered activating his ability the moment you had let out a blood curdling scream. He had levitated you both out of the car and high up in the night sky.

He should have listened to you. Your forewarnings were right. Something terrible had ended up happening. The mole he had sent inside was found murdered by the backup team, and the head of the organization had fled. His men had taken up sniping positions all across the hills. Two of them had shot you at once. He remembered going on a mad spree and pelting boulders at all the men in his sight using his ability right before he flew to the hospital with you in his arms.

“Has she gained consciousness?”, the doctor asked as she peeked in. Chuuya had asked all medical personnel to leave him alone with his sweetheart, a little too passionately, after they were done treating you, and hence the poor doctor was a tad bit scared to check up on your vitals.

Chuuya whipped his head up.

“No.”

The doctor scrunched her brows in worry. Rushing in, she did some tests.

“I’m sorry, sir, but if the patient doesn’t wake up in another hour, we will have to declare a coma condition.”

“What?!”

The doctor jumped at his outburst, but answered him, nonetheless.

“The body is behaving as if it is already in coma. This can also be because it is repairing itself. It doesn’t necessarily have to be coma.”

She sighed.

“But, if the patient retains this state of unconsciousness, we will have to rule out a natural healing process. I suggest you try to communicate with the patient. Sit close, hold hands, maintain physical contact. Try speaking. That way, maybe the body will react to a familiar scent, touch or voice, and gain consciousness.”

Chuuya gulped, worried, and nodded.

“I understand.”

He shakily made his way to your face, observing your serene features. He hesitantly put your hair behind your ear, breathing unsteadily. He felt immense guilt and anger. He was guilty of not paying your uneasiness an ear, and he was angry because he couldn’t save you. If only he had been more vigilant, more aware of his surroundings, he would have been able to smell a rat.

“I’m so sorry. I should have listened to you. I should have been able to protect you.”

He gasped inaudibly, trying to keep his sobs in. He couldn’t stop the tears. They flowed freely down his cheeks, a symbol of his immense fear of losing you. He couldn’t bear the idea of loosing you. It might be selfish of him, but he wanted you to live, because God-forbid, if you didn’t, he wouldn’t know what to do with himself. He knew that if such a devastating situation ever occurred, he would lose all sanity and go mad. He would lose his mental balance and completely fall off the edge. He couldn’t bear to be separated from you for two days, forget the rest of his lifetime.

He caressed your cheek, smiling bitterly at your sleeping form. Nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck, he let himself truly cry. He let out all his emotions into your hair. He found comfort in your warmth. He has always felt the safest in your embrace. That’s where he could truly be himself.

He didn’t realise how long it had been when he began talking to you. Telling you how much he loved you and how he couldn’t live without you. He pondered on how he would take his life if you left him.

“I’d have to go to that stupid mackerel for guidance. But then again, he has been unsuccessful in killing himself for 22 years. He’s probably the worst suicidal guy out there.”

He was lying next to you now, cradling your frail form in his arms.

The doctor waltzed in, a serious and sorrowful expression straining her pretty features.

“Nakahara-san, I’m so sorry.”

Chuuya gritted his teeth, holding onto you tighter.

“No! There’s still a chance that-”

“Its hopeless. The patient has already been in this state for 16 hours.”

“16 hours?”

The doctor smiled sympathetically.

“I gave you a lot more time. I thought maybe the constant contact would help. But sadly, it’s out of our hands now.”

Chuuya sat up, holding your face in his large palms.

“Wake up! Wake up, damnit!”

He shook you gently, desperate to get any kind of reaction out of you.

“Nakahara-san! Please get away from the patient! You mustn’t cause any harm! Security?!”

The doctor rushed forward to pull Chuuya off of you, but he held onto you. He grabbed your arms, looping his own around them and pulling you towards him.

“Wake up!”

He rested his face on your chest, sobs escaping him.

“Please... please wake up...”

The doctor reached forward to clasp his shoulder, trying to pry him off of you.

A large gasp followed by couple of coughs were heard.

You took in a large breath, trying to swallow. Your throat was dry and scratchy.

“Y/N!”

Looking up, you saw Chuuya holding you in his arms, a relieved and surprised expression on his elegant features.

“Hey.”

Your voice sounded raspy, but it was music to his ears.

He engulfed you in a hug, one that knocked the air out of your lungs.

“She’s still a patient!”

The doctor reprimanded as the security guards pulled Chuuya off of you.

You smiled at the tiny ginger.

“I’m alive, Chu. Stop being dramatic.”

Chuuya laughed at your carefree attitude. He didn’t resist the men as they pulled him out of the room. He was relieved to see you awake. He didn’t care about anything else. Just as he was about to leave, you spoke up.

“Call Gin and tell her that I’m not dead!”

“You don’t need to call me, idiot. I was waiting right outside.”

You smiled as she walked in, giving you a hug.

“Why does she get to go in but not me?!”

Chuuya whined.

“Hey Gin, guess what?”

Gin smiled at you, sitting at the edge of your bed at the nurses did their check-ups.

“What?”

“I’m alive, bitch!”

Your snickers could be heard till the hallway, where the rest of your friends were seated. Shaking his head, Tachihara snickered.

“Good ol’ Y/N.”

[hisoknen]

OK I Hve it!!! I was worried iwouldnt be a le to choose but i settled on one!! Ignore the typing, i have acrylics on 😭 but kakucho maybe??? Kiss kiss for u, i havent picked up a little life yet because im slogging through thinking fast and slow atm… i’ll get to a little life eventually!!!

hehehe hi viv ☺️ i have 2 for you because i think of bf kakucho and nii san

before you even mentioned a little life i saw your name and was thinking about kakucho sitting on the couch you between his legs, back to his chest flipping through the pages of your newest hyper fixation.

he reads over your shoulder and its sort of an unspoken agreement that you wait a bit before flipping the page.

just quiet time together between the chaos life has to offer. and i think he likes to be touching you most the time, he’s really fuckin bad at keeping his hands to himself. he tries to keep an eye on it in public, it’s not a good idea to let the people who are looking out for his weaknesses an open target but he still does time and again just tries to be more subtle about it. even innocently he just always finds himself with a hand on yours or on your back. especially when you’re laying around. he thumbs at your ears and that soft space behind them right where your jaw connects with your throat? yeah that part.

he’s someone who won’t mince his words and he’s honest to a fault, but you two have that in common and it allows you to really trust what the other says and feels. he’s supportive in your studies and listens to you talk about your thesis every time a new idea comes to mind even if he doesn’t necessarily understand each step. listening to you talk about the things you’re passionate about and angry about (insert tiktok war) he wants you to know he cares and it’s important to him even when you’re a menace.

his love language is gift giving. buys you things that remind him off you, pays attention to where your eyes wander when you’re out and will go back and grab it when he’s alone. isn’t always vocal with "i love you’s” but he doesn’t leave any room for you to question it with the way he treats you.

listens intently with a lazy smile when you talk to him about discord servers and things that are going on even though most of it flies right over his head. corners of his lips turning up when you rampage on voice calls. never can wrap his head around why a group of people would watch hentai together but who’s he to judge? bully!!him!!viv!!

he’s also the best nii san so i’m adding this below too you. if you’re his little sister he’s going to pamper you till you’re sick of it. everyone talks about wakasa’s oral fixation but forgets all about big brother kakucho and his obsession with the way you taste. always buried between your legs holding your hips close so you can’t squirm away. he goes down like a starved man groaning when your thighs shake around his head, fingers tugging at his hair like a lifeline.

he’s protective and possessive closed off to the idea of anyone being able to take care of you the way he can. it’s why you’re the perfect match. you grew up together alone and that’s the way it always will be. you can always trust him to have your best interests at heart even if he scares you a bit at times. he’s loyal and he’ll always love you and keep you safe, even if sometimes you run off to try and prove fate wrong.

[thewriterowl]

Hi owl, some headcannon about an AU where Luke is actually a slave on Tatooine?

I'm sorry but your dinluke headcannon are incredible

Hello!! Sure! I am so happy you enjoy these fun head-cannons!

So, we'll give Luke more angst in his life, shall we?

So, everything happens as normal up until Luke is around 10. Tatooine is horribly rough and pretty corrupt. So the Lars are in a very rough patch and can't make payments. So here come the collectors. Well, if the Lars can't pay them back they'll just take the blonde kid as compensation. They refuse, of course. Luke is free. He can't just be snatched up like that...only...Luke doesn't have anything to prove that. He has a slave's last name, he has no papers or chain code, there is nothing to say that he is the Lars' actual child (it's known he isn't but there is nothing to prove he's anything of there's) and it's a disaster. The Lars still fight back and they pay with their lives, Luke witnessing it all.

He is brought into town, traumatized, and auctioned off. Well, at this time Luke is just this small, lanky kid who does not look like he'll be worth much of anything so he is not going for much. Peli, who knew the Lars and this kid, finds she can't just let this happen and buys him for her shop. She's pretty jaded and rough, she yells a lot, and demands hard work...but Luke realizes pretty fast that she is a very good person (and it's likely she's not yelling on purpose, she probably has poor hearing from her work...or she has always just been a very, very loud individual) when he realizes he gets extra food from her plate (she complaining he's too small to be useful) and he has a bed with extra blankets for the cold nights, and she actually teaches him everything about engineering, ships, mechanics, and droids. Luke also has good friends with all of her droids so he's not too lonely and he picks up the work really fast and easy.

Issues start when he is about seventeen. People start to notice him. Yeah, he's still small but he has built up a good bulk of muscle and a lean form from his thirteen hour days of hard, mechanic labor. he is still dealing with what he witnessed and went through when he is a child but he has an honest, happy smile and clear eyes and a very friendly, warm personality. All those who have called him ugly and useless and wormie over the past years are starting to eat their words.

Peli is approached a few times a year over the next three years about purchasing him. The price is always astronomical, possibly 10xs more than what she paid for Luke originally. She always turns them down with a nasty tone of, "I've put nearly ten years into this kid! You want me to just take credits for 'im?! Come back to me when you have 20xs the money and a replacement who has 20-years of experience in doing this shitty work or the answer is no!" It always works.

And it keeps Luke safe.

it is around seventeen a new visitor begins to show up regularly. A bounty-hunter with worn armor but a pristine, silver mask. Luke is infatuated instantly. He has never had to see the man, nor the man see him, as he hides whenever he is around. But he always gets to work on his ship as he is out of the shop because he always says no droids. He learns a lot by keeping his head down and practically remaining invisible when the mysterious man is around. Luke learns he is a bounty-hunter who always gets his target (and, given this is Tatooine, a lot of targets come here), a man from a culture called Mandalorians, he is clearly terrifyingly strong (given how he'll sometimes drag his quarry into his ship on his shoulders or them trying to fight--he never seems to flinch), very built (luke can't help but notice it!), a dreamy voice, and is actually a decent man who pays Peli in full (sometimes extra) and rarely argues back unless he appears in to be a decent (or grouchy? it was hard to tell) mood and Peli was extra ornery. He clearly went on adventures and was well-versed in the galaxy and was intelligent and had wit and...Luke was just head over heels with a massive puppy-crush.

It's when Luke turns twenty that he realizes, oh yikes...is this a crush or am I actually in love with a guy who doesn't know I exist and i have never talked to? It is also the year where Jabba the Hutt becomes interested in Luke as well.

So, it finally happens. Luke is dragged out of Peli's shop by some of the Hutt's men, Peli unable to do anything but screech at them. They just toss over credits that are about 40xs what Luke was bought for, despite Peli saying this isn't going to work and that's her apprentice, etc. They still just take Luke away.

Now, I don't see Jabba has being necessarily sexually attracted to Luke (or maybe anyone for that matter) but he loves beautiful things and he loves the power beautiful things bring him. Having a slave as lovely as Luke at his side is something that would just give him that vibe he enjoys. So Luke is safe in that regards for now. But Luke is clearly wanted by the patrons of the palace and if Jabba has a bounty that he knows is impossible, he'll say they can have Luke if it is accomplished in a certain way (it never is). Luke is basically in the Leia garb (see @gabsketch for her version of Luke's slave outfit) and is stuck by this horrible beasts side, being gawked at and touched, and yanked around all the time.

A few months later the Mandalorian is back for a quarry and a repair for his ship when Peli practically tackles him, saying she'll pay 20,000 credits and repair his ship for free for five years if he can rescue her apprentice who was taken by the Hutt's without an agreement. Well, hello pay-day. Din knows it's not great to cross the Hutt, but if he indeed did not follow an agreement with Peli over this mysterious guy then she is in her right to demand him back. So off he goes to the palace.

He gets there and has a reputation so he is allowed in, ready to look all around for this poor kid with gold hair and sky-blue eyes who was probably cleaning up slop or hidden in the back with stolen droids to fix. He was really not expecting to see the man as a trophy for Jabba. Nor expected him to be this gorgeous. How had Peli hidden him all these years? Din never saw this man once. If he had, well, he for sure would be coming back to Tatooine a bit more often and leaving it with some very adult-level fantasies.

Luke is stunned to see the mysterious man there, really unsure what is going on but finds himself hopeful when he demands Luke to be returned. Jabba is all, "nah fam. I run this place. but tell you what...do this impossible task for me and you can have him. Go kill a Kryate dragon and bring me its pearls."

Din is all, "Yeah sure." And just goes and...does it.

He comes back with four pearls and meat and scales and other items to show it was dead and Jabba is all, "oh shit." He really does not want to let this pretty slave go...but if he followed his deal and Din returns, Jabba could for sure get bounties taken care of with him on his side. So, he hands Luke over saying, "welp, he's yours now, lucky SOB". And Din takes Luke.

Well...now Din doesn't really want to hand Luke back over. How was he supposed to? Still, he is honorable and brings him back to Peli but then makes a claim, "I'll be back for him. I own him now but you can borrow him." surprising them both. Well, he goes off and Luke stays on Tatooine until a man named Kenobi (maybe he was off world or couldn't interfere before Luke was sold but saw Peli was taking care of him and saw it was fine) finds him and yanks him off on an adventure where he saves the galaxy and Din finds a gremlin child and then they meet again. and Din is all, "Hey...you're still mine from all that happened a few years back soooooo...you're teaching my kid as you travel with me." and Luke, with a shrug is all, "Welp. There are worse fates than hanging out with the love of my life, so yeah, let's go for it."

It for sure can be darker, lol knowing me, but it playing with the original trilogy is fun too. So Luke lives happily with Din who still, technically, owns him from his deal with Jabba but they're both very, very in love space dads.

[juleswolverton-hyde]

Not by the Moon | 05

Genre: Smut, Romance, Strangers to Lovers, Drama, Tragedy, Werewolf AU, Supernatural AU, Bookshop AU

Pairing: Bookshop keeper!/Werewolf!JB x Reader

Warnings: A sprinkle of grumpy jealous werewolf!Jaebeom who gets a wee bit violent, tooth-rotting domestic fluff, werewolf courting, sexual tension, werewolf!Jaebeom acting like a pup, and poor yet adorable attempts at coming across as human.

Summary: Every story has a purpose or goal it is dedicated to, their authors at times going to great lengths to see the project they once started to completion. Nevertheless, the things the writers swore on to see their latest art piece to completion are static.

Unchanging.

None of them swore by the Moon nor Love because they can solely genuinely swear on all that changes like themselves.

And yet, a wolf in love foolishly swore by the moon.

That is when Time truly started ticking.

Author’s Note: This chapter is from Y/N’s POV. Bam and Jinyoung make a cameo.

Previous Chapter / Next chapter

Masterlist

Wonderful as a trip abroad might be, there’s nothing that can compare to the secret feeling of relief when returning home. No longer there is luggage to drag along, languages to swap between, or cultures to assimilate to. While it is in good fun, it’s also physically and mentally exhausting. Henceforth, coming home is like a cozy blanket to wrap around your shoulders by the fire on a cold November day. And once you’re bundled up, it is time to breathe easy and rest.

Although, home is not necessarily a place. In fact, mine has made good on his promise and puppy dreams, standing in the crowd to pick me up.

“Y/N,” a familiar voice calls out as we enter the hall of arrivals, “over here!”

Manes tucked away under a dark red beanie and wearing a simple black jacket over an oversized black shirt, Jaebeom waves to pull attention to himself.

“Who’s that?” Bam follows my gaze to the adorable tall man as we make our way through the crowd of trolleys, suitcases, hellos and goodbyes. “Is that the dude you’ve been texting and calling?”

“He is,” I whisper in reply as we approach him. With every step, the storm of butterflies in my stomach worsens although I feel light as air at the same time. Happiness in Love is a strange thing. 

“So that’s your boyfriend,” my colleague purrs. He sounds pleased in the way I imagine he’d sound if he was my older brother.

I whip my head around, tongue-tied but not enough to protest the assumption. “He’s not my boyfriend!”

Bam merely chuckles to himself, grinning like the Cheshire Cat as he continues. “Sure he isn’t, Y/N. After all, you’ve not been touching your lips and turning into a blushy mess afterwards. Or keeping those books you have with you close at all times, looking at them fondly.”

“Of course I am.” Jaebeom jumps into the conversation when we’ve reached him, acting as if he’s heard our conversation perfectly through the ruckus of the crowd. The sparkle in his eyes dims and turns into a poisonous glare when he notices the guy besides me. “Who are you?”

“JB, this is Kunpimook.’’ I gesture from one to the other, jaw clenched in the hope the wolf man won’t actively show the hostility harboured in his gaze. ‘’The colleague I told you about.”

“Just call me Bam.” Politely, he holds out his hand.

“Im Jaebeom,” the other man introduces himself, fortunately accepting the gesture howbeit with a strained expression. “Her boyfriend.”

“Hey, you must be Y/N.” Holding a tray with three coffee cups in it, a young man joins our company. 

Like Jaebeom, who has proudly proclaimed himself my boyfriend, he is tall, slender yet muscular in build and has black hair. Nevertheless, whereas Jaebeom has a flair of being unapproachable, the stranger has a boyish air around him that’s open for contact.

He moves the carrier from his right hand to his left for a handshake. “I’m Jinyoung.”

Immediately, bells start ringing at the mention of his name. After all, there hasn’t been a single call the past week wherein he wasn’t mentioned. “Jaebeom’s told me about you. You’re a professor at the university here, right?”

“I am,” he beams, his proud tone indicating how much he likes his job. “I teach Mythology. It’s a course that encompasses folklore around the world, so it’s fairly broad.”

“You teach only one course?”

“I do, but I’m also a doctor. Well, still studying to be one officially, but I’m allowed to work at the university’s clinic already.”

 “Wow.’’ A professor and a doctor. There’s little else I can say as a mere travel journalist, so I just try to remain casual despite being utterly gobsmacked. 

“I know, it’s a lot. Nevertheless, somehow I manage to do it and occasionally write an article.”

How does he do it? He’s likely not that much older than I, but he’s evidently busier than I am.

“Show-off.” The grumbled insult interferes with the friendly conversation. The focus of Jaebeom’s glare has changed targets from Bam to the professor. However, the latter doesn’t seem to notice his friend’s chagrin.

“I’m simply introducing myself, Jay. Here,” Jinyoung hands him one of the paper cups from the carrier, “your apple and cinnamon tea.”

“You drink tea now?” I raise an eyebrow, surprised. It sounds like a strange concept because I’ve never seen him drink anything but black coffee.

“Doctor’s orders,” JB murmurs in response, discontent and keeping a close eye on Bam as he nips the warm beverage.

“I’ve put him on tea, preferably green, to lower the caffeine levels in his blood. Otherwise, he’ll be staying up all night reading and trying to cook. Oh,” he reaches for something in his pocket, pulling out a small bottle like the one JB showed me in the park and handing it to his friend, “you forgot your meds.”

“You’re on medication?” Bam asks without any implications or judgment. The funny thing is, despite being extroverted and extravagant - extra, in general - he actually studied psychology and thought about becoming a psychiatrist for a while. Therefore, he has a general interest in medicine and its function of helping the human psyche.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Jaebeom sneers sarcastically, his voice closer to a growl than human speech. Then, he turns his attention to Jinyoung, who continues to hold his calm. “Why are you giving this to me now? Couldn’t you wait until we’re back? I’m not gonna take them in front of some stranger, especially not someone close to her. Besides, what does skipping one time or by a few hours matter?”

“Jay, don’t be like this,’’ the young professor sighs. ‘’You know how important timing is, especially with this new treatment.”

“You’re embarrassing me.”

“I’m not.”

“You are!”

A nudge against my shoulder distracts me from the fierce bickering, Bam lowly whispering he’s leaving for home as well as an apology for what he has unleashed. I answer in a similar fashion when promising to call him later and apologizing for putting him into this situation. He merely waves dismissively, unbothered, and disappears in the crowd of trolleys and journeying strangers.

“Okay, okay, that’s enough,” I intervene lest the situation gets out of hand. A hand on his chest, I try to distract Jaebeom by shifting his focus to me. “Let’s go search for somewhere quiet around here where it’s just us. It’s important to me too you take your meds.”

“Let’s just go home.” His features soften, compromising like I did that day in the bookshop and didn’t want to eat. “I’ll take them in the car, alright?”

“Why do you have to be cross with me about it when you readily accept to take them when Y/N tells you to?” Jinyoung crosses his arms in defiance, lips pulled into a displeased pout.

 “Because she’s my mate,” Jaebeom argues, sure to show his teeth. Withal, he turns into a gentle giant again once he wraps an arm around my waist and looks down at me with so much adoration I feel my cheeks burning up. “Girlfriend, I mean. We’re dating, so she’s my girlfriend.”

“We’ve only been out together once,” I sputter. It’s wonderful to hear the affirmation we’re an item, although I still think it’s a bit too early to claim we are.

“Twice after today. And we’ve kissed,” he corrects me, tone indicating there is no use in protesting. Nevertheless, the sternness wavers as it warms into merriment. “I got you something. I’ll give it to you once we’re home.”

Jinyoung leans in as we head to the exit, whispering. “He went kinda overboard.”

“I didn’t,” Jaebeom growls. “Stop embarrassing me. Know your fucking place.”

“Boys,” I sigh in warning.

Both lower their head and let out a whimper in apology. “Sorry.”

“This is where you live?” Jinyoung parks the car in front of the tall white brick building overlooking the quay at the edge of town.

“Wow...” Jaebeom murmurs in the passenger seat, awed by the fact I live on the east side of town. It’s a recently redeveloped area, the warehouses refurbished into apartment complexes to help combat the growing housing issue.

“I do. Not for much longer, though.”

Both men turn in their seats, looking at me as if I’m insane.

 “You’re moving out?” The professor asks, although it’s more of an exclamation than a question. “Why would you leave this place? It’s one of the most desired places to live within the city.”

However, JB doesn’t care about the reason which makes me want to leave the neighbourhood behind. Instead, he’s anxious to know where to find me. “Where will you go?”

“Do you know those orchards on the outskirts of town? With the old cottages?” Both nod as confirmation. “Well, that’s where I’ll be moving to. I’ve been meaning to get out of the city for a while. Granted, the harbour district isn’t as busy as the city centre. But, despite being only twenty-two, I crave the silence of the countryside. Or, rather, its tranquility which I can also find in the suburbs.”

“You’re twenty-two?” Jaebeom asks, head tilted to the side.

 “I am,’’ I admit as I pull my knees up to make myself as small as possible. ‘’I never mentioned it because I didn’t think it’d matter. Does it, though?”

My voice is hardly audible, a frog stuck in my throat. Why did I have to be the one to bring this up?

“No, not at all! I still like you. A lot. A lot, a lot. But, I’m older than you. Quite a bit, I think.”

“How old?” The question barely rolls off the tongue, pale with dread.

Please, don’t let there be too big of an age gap.

“I’m twenty...” He looks at Jinyoung, brow furrowed.

“Twenty-eight,” the good doctor whispers, unconscious of the fact that the well-meant reminder is loud enough for me to hear.

“Twenty-eight,” Jaebeom confirms, staring back at me in anticipation. “Six years difference. Does it matter? To you, I mean. In how you see me?”

“It doesn’t. Do you see me differently?”

“I never did.”

“Age is only a number, after all,” the professor pitches in to cheer us up further. “Anyway, I’m dropping you off here.”

“Can’t you stay?” Surely I can’t let him leave without at least thanking him with a cup of coffee or tea.

“I’d love to, but- Don’t you snarl at me.” He points an accusing finger at JB, who’s showing his teeth and lowly growling like he did at the airport.

Caught red-handed, the wolfish man feigns ignorance and stares out the window. However, his sulky expression and scoff betray his true feelings.

“As I was saying,” Jinyoung continues after an exasperated sigh, “I’d love to, but I get to attend an interesting transplant operation today and have a bit of research to do for a new article.”

“That’s a shame. I owe you a cup of coffee, then. That’s the least I can do to repay you for driving me home.”

“I’ll make good on that promise soon. But for now, go on, you two.” He motions for us to get out of the car. “Don’t make it awkward by making me the third wheel.”

“Jinyoung.” Hesitantly, the big wolf man holds up his fist.

“No hard feelings.” He bumps his fist against JB’s.

“Good.” The seat belt comes undone, but Jaebeom doesn’t move to step outside yet. Instead, he leans in towards Jinyoung and takes a whiff, squinting as invisible question marks float in the air. “You smell weird, though.”

“Really?” The other man sniffs the collar of his jacket, shrugging casually in jest. “It’s not that bad.”

“Jinyoung.” Despite still looking a bit pale with remorse, the wolf man says the professor’s name harshly, his voice deep as he chastises the turn to humour. He grows still, gaze focused on his friend as he tries to look for what’s unspoken in the other’s body language.

However, there is nothing to see. Although, if there actually is something off, the professor hides it well. But Jaebeom doesn’t get the chance to scrutinize him long enough to see for himself because Jinyoung turns back to the wheel and waves dismissively. “I’m alright, Jae. Go. Have fun with your girlfriend.”

His friend nods, a strained look on his face, and opens the door. I follow behind, having silently observed the conversation from the backseat.

What’re you worried about? Jinyoung looks fine. Nothing wrong with him whatsoever.

Nevertheless, barely have we opened the trunk when the doctor hangs out the window. “And don’t forget your present!”

“Got it right here.” In confirmation, Jaebeom holds up a neat-looking paper bag, chique enough to originally have been used in a boutique.

“That’s my boy,” he chuckles before he resumes his seat.

With a dull thud, Jaebeom closes the trunk again. 

The engine roars to life and the car pulls out of the parking lot, Jinyoung honking a few times as we see him off.

I look from Jaebeom to the bag, leaning in to try and sneak a peek of its contents. “What did you get me?”

You promised me a shirt, but do you really need this big of a bag for one?

“I’m not telling you,” he muses.

I straighten my posture, a smile building as a golden opportunity presents itself. “Aw, what’s in the box?”

“Box? Y/N, it’s a bag.”

“I know, but- Never mind.” I wave the apparently obscure allusion with a dismissive gesture, disappointed he doesn’t get the reference. “Let’s go inside.”

“Are you upset?” he asks as we walk to the entrance of the building.

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Another reassuring question burns on his tongue, but before he can ask it I stand on the tips of my toes to peck him on the lips and nose. “I’m not going to get upset simply because you didn’t understand me. Besides, it’s just a trivial matter. Come on, let’s go. I’m hungry.” 

Though I failed the first time, I again try to get a better look at the mysterious bag. As before, the attempt is in vain. “And curious.”

“I think you’ll like it. In fact,” his lips pull into a smug smirk, “I’m fairly sure you’ll look pretty in it. More pretty than you do now.”

It’s prettier.

I let the mistake slide.

To let him have his little moment of triumph.

There is no place like home. Truly, not a single hotel room or bed and breakfast in the world can substitute the small studio with its minimalistic interior in shades of white and grey.

I breathe in deeply, glad to stand in the familiar narrow hallway leading to the kitchen and space beyond. A faint musty smell cuts through the fragrance of the Nordic leather diffuser sticks I bought before going to Belgium.

Guess I’ll be cleaning tomorrow.

Luckily, it’s been only a few days so the level of dust isn’t too bad. Notwithstanding, the place could do with a little clean-up.

“Well, this is me.”

“I know,” Jaebeom replies sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck with his eyes on me.

“No, I mean, this,” I gesture around as I walk into the apartment, “is my place. My house.”

He murmurs something under his breath, seemingly contrasting two words as he tries to understand them or, rather, the difference between them.

“It’s nice,” he remarks when he has figured out his train of thought, looking around appreciatively.

“The cottage will be nicer, I think. I can’t wait to decorate it, make it cozier than this place. Maybe get some plants, hang up a few photos-’’

“A few of us together, maybe?” He proposes as he, too, takes his shoes off and follows me into the living room.

“For example.” I nod at the bag when we settle down on the couch next to the window overlooking the quay. “Can I open my present now?”

“Say ‘please’.” Arms crossed, he leans in so our faces are mere inches away from each other. His breath ghosts warmly over my lips when he continues in a tender yet playful babying tone. “Life is short, but there is always time for courtesy. Manners, young lady.”

“Can I open my present, please?” Regardless of the chance to finally satisfy my curiosity, I don’t dive into the gift directly. Instead, I stay my hand, bothered by a nagging feeling his words are familiar to me. “What you just said, isn’t that a quote?”

“It is, but,’’ Jaebeom bites his lip, eyes averted to the ground, ‘’to be honest, I can’t remember who said it.”

Funny, how you can remember quotes. Maybe that’s how we can communicate in the future if your condition gets worse. Although, let’s hope that’s not the case for a long time.

“Ralph…’’ I start, trying to recall who originally said it. ‘’Ralph Waldo? No, that’s not right. He went by his middle name. Wait, his middle name was Ralph so it was him.”

“Have you read his work?”

“Honestly speaking, I haven’t. However, I have a friend who studies American literature and poetry and she sends poems, quotes and the occasional snippet. I think I’ve seen him in passing. Anyways,’’ I pull the bag onto my lap, giddy as a child in a candy shop, ‘’let’s see what’s inside.”

The present catches me off-guard because the bundles of clothing are both what I expected and yet not. “You...” I trail off, checking and double checking the amount of shirts. “Seven?”

“One for every day of the week,” he beams, proudly barking his reasoning.

These will last me two weeks if not longer. Minimalism isn’t his thing, is it?

I pull out a big grey hoodie and hold it up to my nose to sniff it. A wild forest of which the air is faintly scented by a cologne with fruity undertones and the musty smell of books. I hum contently, enraptured by the scent. By him. 

From the corner of my eye, I see Jaebeom grinning in unadulterated amusement. Albeit not without effort, I lower the article of clothing. “I know this is likely stupid to ask, but eventually they’ll have to be washed so what if your scent fades?”

“I’ll just scent them again.’’ He shrugs casually before he points inside the bag. ‘’Also, what’s in the little box on the bottom might help with that too.”

In my astonishment, I missed the cardboard square at the bottom which turns out to be the packaging for a bottle of cologne. “You can spray it on. Sure, it’s not really purely my scent but hopefully it’s still rem- remi- a reminder of me.”

You meant reminiscent, didn’t you?

“Or I can go to you and have you scent them,” I joke, only half-serious.

“If that means more time together,” his mismatched eyes sparkling with gleeful stars, “sure, why not? I’d be glad to help.”

“Thank you.’’ Absentmindedly, I fidget with the folds of the hoodie. ‘’I really like it.”

Jaebeom ruffles my hair, letting out a chuff. “You’re welcome. Now, why don’t you just sit tight and I’ll make us something to eat?”

“Don’t set my kitchen aflame, though,” I warn him as the wolf man gets up from the couch.

“I won’t,” he answers smugly before leaning in to steal a kiss. “I promise.”

With a spring in his step, JB sets off for the kitchen with the bag of groceries he pulled from Jinyoung’s trunk. The two must have dropped by the supermarket before coming to pick me up.

A pillow propped up against the armrest and the blanket formerly draped over the couch now covering my shoulders, I lie down for a nap.

As consciousness fades, a warm affectionate wolfish smile pierces through the growing haze. Jaebeom murmurs something unintelligible and turns his gaze back to the chopping board.

I am home.

Dreaming of two little pups running around an orchard.

“Dinner’s ready!” The loud remark barely filters in until it’s repeated up close, the merry bark lowered in volume. A hand shakes my shoulder, but what does the trick in waking me up is the warm wetness nibbling away at my ear. However, it doesn’t stay there, but travels down the side of my neck and ends its journey at the hem of my shirt, giving it a gentle yet fierce tug.

“Y/N, come on. Get up,” JB whines, the words distorted thanks to keeping the fabric firmly between his teeth. He tugs at it again.

What on earth?

I turn onto my other side, causing the big wolf man to let go. “What are you doing?”

“Trying to get you to eat.” He makes himself smaller, gaze briefly averted to the side before looking at me again, continuing in the same tender yet stern tone he uses whenever food is involved. “With me. This is my first time cooking for you and I practiced really hard while you were away. So, please, eat with me. I want to know whether I did a good job.”

“Do you have to drag me by the collar for that?” I reach out to scratch him behind his ear, tracing his jaw as my fingers work upwards.

Jaebeom’s eyes mist over, his expression turning dreamy as he leans into the touch. “Want- Don’t know… know how to- Come to… kitchen. Although, maybe, just...”

“Feels good?”

A hasty sheepish smile flashes on his lips as he nods in agreement, eyes closed and speechless.

You really are a wolf. Weirdo. My weirdo.

A whine slips out when I stop. JB slowly opens his eyes again, blinks a few times before he clears his throat. “Can we do that again? After dinner, maybe?”

 “If I liked what you made, sure. However,” I kiss his forehead, “since you asked so nicely, we can do this again after we’ve eaten. So, will you eat with me?”

Will you stay with me?

“What’s wrong?” Picking up on the worrying thought, he tilts his head to the side and scrutinizes my face as he did Jinyoung’s earlier today.

“Nothing.” I shake my head, dismissing the thought since we’ve already said everything there is to say about it. “Just a silly thought.”

His expression falters. “I’m being over- overbear- too much.”

“No, not at all! Don’t say that, silly.”

Jaebeom nudges my nose with his, his tone sweet in an attempt to make me confess what’s bothering me. “Then what is it?”

“I’ve never done this before,” I admit at last. “No one’s ever cooked for me aside from my mom and grandmother or had a guy proudly proclaim himself as my boyfriend. This is simply new to me so it makes me feel, well, a bit awkward. It’s unreal, like a dream that might go up in smoke any second. That’s maybe a better way to put it.”

“I’m really here. Also, remember what you promised me? You’d stay by my side until you can’t anymore and I promised you the same. I’m a wolf, after all. Loyal to my pack or, rather, my- uh- my bi- no, that’s wrong. My lady,” he grabs my hand and lifts the fingers to his lips for a chaste kiss, “I am your gentleman and I won’t go anywhere without telling you first. And, if possible, I’ll take you with me because I refuse to leave you behind. But for now, let’s go eat. Together. I’ll try not to make a mess.”

Don’t cry, Y/N. Don’t you tear up right in front of him.

I take in a shivering breath, swallow hard, and try to regain composure.

We’re here together and wherever it is we’re going next, we’ll be there as we are now.

Side by side.

Even though I’m hungry and the table is literally three steps away, I groan as I get up from the couch. Travelling takes its toll, no matter how short the distance might be. All the same, I shuffle towards the chair facing the kitchen and plop down on it, watching JB plate up. “What are we having?”

“Steak with blanched vegetables and sweet potato mash,” he proudly announces while serving the food.

“Uhm, that’s very nice. However- it’s alright if you don’t remember, but I’m vegetarian.”

“I remembered.” A bright smile forms on his lips, eyes alight with triumph and joy. “That’s why your steak is soy-based. I found it while doing groceries or, rather, Jinyoung pointed it out. He’s been teaching me how to cook and bake. Well, we’re still working on the latter, but I did bring homemade cheesecake for dessert. I still wonder why they call it cheesecake when what’s going in it isn’t really cheese.”

“Beats me too.”

“You got slapped by cream cheese?” Visibly gobsmacked, he leans in with an expression that holds the middle between curiosity and utter confusion. “How did that happen and was it painful?”

“I mean I don’t understand either,” I reply, shaking my head with a low chuckle, and cut into the steak. As the knife sinks into it, a rosy fluid oozes out of it as if it’s been cooked medium-raw which is exactly how I liked it back in my non-vegetarian days. “But baking hasn’t been a success?”

Jaebeom sits back, shoulders hunched as he pokes the carrot on his plate with his fork. “I burned a cake, pulled it from the oven as black as charcoal. Then there’s the case of the exploded soufflés and marble cake that turned out to have no marbling at all. Not to speak of the melted... what’re they called again? There’s also a song that’s got to do with them. Jinyoung sings it a lot. Rocky road! Melted rocky roads and millionaire’s breads.”

“Maybe stick to cooking instead of baking. Not everyone has a knack for both.”

He sighs in defeat. “Maybe I should, but I’ll still try to make you something every once in a while that’s actually good.”

“As long as you don’t blow up one of our kitchens.” I include my kitchen as well because the mere thought of baking together spreads a rosy flush throughout my body that leaves me warm with affection. Besides, it’s another excuse to see him wear an apron, maybe pull some shenanigans myself and have something to eat with a cup of tea or coffee and a good book.

That would make for a nice date. We should do that soon.

“I’ll try.” He holds out his pinky. “Promise.”

The adorable genuineness of the determined gesture is what drives me to seal the promise by wrapping my pinky around his. “I’ll hold you to it.”

While eating the simple yet well-made dinner, the conversation is about novels, the shop, Jinyoung’s cooking lessons and the weary stories of how Kunpimook and I crossed Bruges in search of the best chocolate. Jaebeom hasn’t done much in the time I was away it seems. The bookshop’s been quiet, so he’s had plenty of time to read and work on his cooking. Nevertheless, his expression turns dreamy when I show him the pictures from the trip, but right beneath the surface of it floats a form of sad longing which is too unclear to be certain of or to be properly described.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m glad you got to see this,” he murmurs as he takes my phone from my hand to leave through the collection again. “I’m kinda jealous, though. It’s been so long since I went somewhere other than here. I’m not sure if I’ve ever been somewhere else.”

Brows furrowed, he tries to remember the last time he travelled. Withal, he comes up short, the melancholy of missing memories staining his voice. “I’ve been nowhere except here. Chained.”

“This place clearly is your home, that’s why it’s keeping you here. It knows you belong here and I’m glad you’ve remained.”

He lets out a breathless laugh which oddly holds the middle between a growl and a giggle. “I’m happy you showed up at my doorstep, then. But, the cottage you’ll be moving to... it’d- it’d be nice if I could make that my home too.’’ His cheeks grow pink like rose petals. ‘’Well, maybe not literally, but it would be nice if it would become our little somewhere.”

“Our little somewhere,” I repeat, charmed by the sound of it.

“Our home. Well, concretely speaking. Abstractly, and most importantly, you are my home.’’ He gets up to move to my side, where he crouches at my feet. Foreheads rested against each other, he easily nips at my nose and nuzzles it affectionately with his. ‘’You are what breaks the silence, makes me able to hope for better days.”

“The same goes for you because even though you sometimes still intimidate and freak me out a little bit, you make my days more interesting than they have been in years. So, thank you. For being here, spending your time in my company.”

“Thank you for the same reasons. Now,” JB leans away to get up and starts to clear the dishes, “how about dessert?”

Before either of us is aware of it, the clock on the wall notes it’s already ten past eight when we finish off the homemade cheesecake. Naturally, partially to also do my fair share, I stand up from my chair before the big wolf man does in an attempt to clear the table and do the dishes. However, when I’m about to walk to the kitchen with them, Jaebeom unapologetically takes them from my hands.

“What’re-? JB, you don’t have to do everything! Let me at least do the dishes.” Flattered yet a tad annoyed by the kindness, and poorly conveying my appreciation, I protest in a harsher tone than I intended to use.

Fortunately, though also a bit comically, he remains unperturbed. Notwithstanding, an unyielding sternness underlines his voice when he responds. “You’ve had a long journey, so sit down and relax. I’ll be right with you after cleaning up.”

Henceforth, unable to protest and rendered comatose by the delicious food, I plop down on the couch. Nestled into the corner, I have a proper view of the man who’s claimed my kitchen for himself.

Although it’s an intrusion to a certain degree, it’s quite soothing to watch Jaebeom defy classic gender roles. Contently humming a song and barely shy of skipping, he cleans up the mess with a tea towel tucked into the side of his pants. 

When he’s done, he hangs the tea towel over the stove’s handle, washes his hands, and settles down next to me. On a whim, though it’s maybe because of instinct, I get up from my little corner and nestle against him. He wraps an arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer as I drape my leg over his thigh to get into a more comfortable position.

Situated snugly in his safe presence, I close my eyes and sigh in pure content. “Can you stay here tonight?”

“Are you sure? Don’t you want to be alone and rest?” he murmurs into my hair.

“I can recharge with you. Besides, you’re nice and warm.” I snuggle up to him more, basking in the mixture of wild wood and cologne. “A perfect pillow.”

He pulls me on his lap, wraps his arms around my body and pulls me flush against his chest, which feels sculpted but not hard with muscle. Abs are nice and all, but I prefer the softness of a defined though not hardened chest. 

“If it brings you rest,” he curls his finger under my chin and lifts it, compelling me to look at him, “I’ll stay.”

I run my fingers along his jaw and up to his ear, immediately reducing him to the puppy-like state he tends to get into apparently when being touched like this. “Thank you.”

“My pl- pleasure.” What would have been a normal response is lost in a growl when I accidentally brush against his crotch as I shift my weight and sit up a little.

His eyes snap open, the hazelnut brown and ocean blue irises darkened, devoid of any sense of their former satisfied tenderness. With his thumb he traces the outline of my lips, lowly purring. “Pretty.”

“Jaebeom,” I place my hands on his shoulders, maintaining a bit of distance between us. We shouldn’t rush this, but the sensation of his growing bulge against my thigh, throbbing against the inside of it, convolutes every thought. Somehow, his scent seems to have gotten stronger too, overwhelming me with the same clear message the firm grip on my hips has. 

I don’t push him back as he leans in, bridging the emptiness I initiated. Foreheads rested against each other and his calloused hands on my cheeks, he guesses what’s essentially withholding me. “Scared?”

“A bit,” I whimper against his palm, the words muffled by the rough warm skin.

“It’s me, Y/N. I won’t hurt you.” Feverish yet sweetly with persuasive conviction, he kisses me. “I’m your gentleman, your boyfriend.”

“I’m afraid it’ll hurt. That we’re going too fast.”

“We’re not. I want this. I want more of you. With you. But,’’ lips pulled into a straight line, he clears his throat while looking as if he is restraining a wild beast that can easily get the better of him if he lets go, ‘’I’ll leave it up to you.”

So, what you’re asking is… 

Jaebeom takes a deep breath to regain his composure, though it has little effect. His breathing remains heavy, close to panting. Nevertheless, the gentle stars return to his eyes as the strained expression softens. “Will you have me?”

[frozenrose13]

speaking of power chairs we spent an entire day out of the apartment yesterday and yeaaah functioning isn’t...great today but we’re managing enough that we’re alone. entirely bc of not only my wheelchair but the fact that its a powerchair ppl can get so snobby about me not “technically” moving myself buuuuuut fuck that id rather have done my (fun, enjoyable) day yesterday and not dealing w dislocations +/ overexertion from trying to wheel myself in a manual wheelchair also means i dont have to try and wheel through seizures so we could stay longer (which ended up being a good decision that will try to do more; they’re not. that disruptive really. and its not, necessarily, an indicator we’re doing too much it seems, at least not the minor spasmy things.)

also also my shooting is in fact (slowly) getting better. got a couple rly good hits in yesterday. it would seem my aim is more consistent from my wheelchair then standing lmfao. helps worrying less about...side effect switch things > . >

finally, *finally*, met goal of staying the whole day. i think we’ve figured out what it takes to do that. lot more brainwork than body issues, unsurprisingly. next goal is do the weekly stuff too but that might be harder w groups going. but also, we’re proving (to us, mind) that we can still do things even if symptoms are being difficult, as long as we’re doing it safely. so could just be as easy as going anyways? will see lol.

(i find it interesting that staying the whole day took continuing what *we* were doing and *not* what the drs wanted us doing)

(oh and we’re actually getting across the point that im still a valid target so thats  bonus lmao)

[zephyr-paladyn]

masculaxi character analysis/appreciation

it's been over a year since gala masculaxi's release and i'm still not over it

(heavy dragalia lost spoilers ahead)

(gala mascula does not exist btw) i just love how mascula and laxi are designed as two parts of a whole, basically one half of the same ideal/same person. you can't have one without the other. if you heavily favor one over the other i dont trust you... only half joking. when laxi went berserk and mascula had to save her by giving her his heart in their debut ch11, that was just... such a moment... it shows them at their most "separate" (laxi in berserk/annihilation mode, and mascula stopping at nothing to disengage combat.) which sets us up for their development as two hearts in one body. in masculaxi (flame blade)'s story, they're still at odds but they begin to learn to cooperate in the same body, and this is the beginning of their "convergence." in ch14 of the main story is when we see the beginnings of eden mode. when all the androids sacrifice themselves for euden and co to advance, mascula realizes it his empathetic heart that influenced them and led them to their painful deaths. he then shuts down his ego circuit out of guilt. when the team is in a tight spot, and only masculaxi can save the day (since their body is unaffected due to the miasma only affecting organic lifeforms,) laxi goes into their heart to search for mascula and plead him to help her. all this time, laxi had envied mascula's heart for being "more human," but realized that maestro had written the fear of death in all of the android's hearts, and as such, laxi understood the weight of their yearning for peace, with the act of their self-sacrifice for euden. (later we do learn with gala masculaxi that mascula had been influencing laxi more. here we see laxi's influence on mascula to urge him to fight.) laxi gets mascula out of the gay baby jail zone, releases her limiters, and activates annihilation mode hastily. mascula then guides her attacks to the correct targets, which is the first instance we see of mascula engaging in any sort of fighting. in this state of laxi's annihilation mode combined with mascula's guided assault, a new mode beyond annihilation mode becomes available to them: eden mode, when their hearts become one. this mode concentrates all the mana around them inside their body's mana kiln, and gives them even more power. mascula still dislikes fighting and does not want to do it as much, but has a newfound conviction and will not run away when he is needed. an interesting line here is mascula saying this: ▷It's as if he knew our hearts would one day become one. But how...?◁ indicating that from the start, they were truly two halves of a whole ideal. shortly after the release of ch14, we get the release of the flame dagger gala masculaxi unit, which contains eden mode in their gameplay, and expands upon the "two hearts acting as one" deal they have going on. laxi, mascula, and luca head to the ruins of maestro's lab in order to gain more clues on how eden mode works. laxi equips a new armament meant to accommodate eden mode (and demands praise of how good she looks, lol. also laxi is much more snarky in this story which is a treat. she's so funny. but also this shows mascula's emotional influence on her!!!!!) laxi learns of how eden mode works, and essentially it's a release of all limiters and rerouting all circuits to their internal mana kiln, but elimination protocol is activated automatically as well which does not make any distinction between friend and foe. it enhances laxi's combat ability, but mascula has to take care of elimination protocol since he has access and control of it. hence, in eden mode, laxi goes all out in attacking, while mascula controls the body's movements and targets. however this is only possible if their hearts act as one. the two are attacked by dyrenell forces and activate eden mode against them, but mascula temporarily loses the will to fight in the middle of the battle, destabilizing and deactivating eden mode. luca is captured and a villager shields them from an oncoming attack, believing in mascula's peaceful ideals. laxi engages tactical retreat and they escape. they engage in a plan to save luca but are attacked by imperials again. they try to go into eden mode but mascula once again disengages eden mode. mascula tells laxi of his regrets and frustrations that he keeps holding her back, but laxi tells him that she found herself synchronizing with him. with the villager (that mascula had saved before and in turn protected masculaxi earlier,) laxi found the value in mercy for enemies. by having laxi bend towards mascula's will, they're able to take on the imperials who chased after them with a truly synchronized eden mode. ▷Laxi, give me the strength to fight!◁ Granted. Now give me the kindness required to temper my actions. ▷Heh. Take all you need!◁ their system strain falls, and they're able to defeat the imperials. laxi, mascula, luca, and euden talk together after all is done. laxi takes interest in a cat, while mascula teaches her how to interact with it. Euden: Laxi and Mascula say the maestro who made them was a peace-loving man, but... Luca: No, I getcha. Why would some peacenik give something THIS much power? ch14 and their gala story really shows how the two embodied different sides of the same ideal -- "fighting for peace," and how they begin to converge upon that ideal. initially laxi only focused on "fighting" and mascula only focused on "peace," but A compassionate heart. ▷The courage to fight.◁ -Eden Mode, activate!- their character development after this is a bit wonky at times because it sets up for gala mascula who is really poorly written and doesn't necessarily align with the ideals established within ch14 and gala masculaxi, or even the development directly before it either. with ageless artifice and ch18 (when the team first enters the faerie kingdom and gets lost,) we get teasers of mascula with his own body. in ageless artifice, eirene steals mascula's body and intends to use it against masculaxi, but mascula takes control of his body and proclaims that his body isn't necessarily him, but what IS him is his resolve to fight for peace alongside his friends. (stays in line with gala masculaxi, right?) in ch18 we also see mascula having a "nightmare/illusion" in which he gains his body back but at the cost of laxi going berserk once more, showing that they truly cannot function at their "fullest ideal" without each other in the same body. laxi asks mascula if he wants his own body back, and mascula says he sometimes misses it but overall he wants to continue fighting with her the way they are. this is echoed in ch19, take this exchange for example: Mascula, I know you were thinking of your own body while lost in the mountain's illusions. You gave up your body to save me, and I owe you an apology for that. ▷Don't apologize—I wanted to do it. Plus, being with you makes me happy.◁ I want to see a peaceful world just as we are in this body now—together. ▷I feel the exact same way.◁ ▷No more hesitation. You and I are going to fight with Maestro as a team.◁ And together... ▷...we will bring peace.◁ reaffirming their ideals together and keeping in line with their development, right? mascula doesn't WANT his own body back. he wants to keep fighting with laxi, that's THE WHOLE POINT OF THEIR CHARACTERS. which does not make sense when we get the remote control BS IN THE SAME CHAPTER??? (teased from the ending of ageless artifice with chelle) and mascula has his own body again as a remote control system. now the portrayal in the main story wasn't AS bad but... the real problem comes to gala mascula as an adventurer with his stories and voice lines. this "mascula" proclaims of how much he loves/misses his body and how he "doesn't need laxi dragging him around anymore." like sure he sometimes feels being in laxi's body with her is bothersome but overall, at his heart, he wouldn't really say something like that??? mascula your voice lines are so contradictory to what just happened in the main story and what you said in ageless artifice what happened!!!!!!! his adventurer story lacks the cooperative laxi-mascula dynamic we knew and loved, and instead pushes mascula front and center to try to push him to do things himself. we didn't really need mascula getting his own body back anyways, but you COULD'VE AT LEAST written it so that they have more emphasis on cooperation with each other?? god im sorry i just. AUGH he's so OBVIOUSLY hastily pushed into their development arc and he loses his characterization. it's obvious gala mascula wasn't intended to be a thing in the initial plan for masculaxi... i am not forgiving every single one of you who sent in feedback for playable mascula. once again only half joking... maybe only a quarter joking. 1/8ths joking. radioactive decay graph joking. (also just a tiny nitpick: you can apparently run gala mascula and laxi/gala laxi on the same team. lore compliancy who? eden mode can't be activated while the remote control unit is active. but whatever) though another interesting plot point is brought up in his story though? maestro's origins, the writing of "seek peace" on mascula and laxi's bodies being in a language that only the sky city ark people would know.. with such an elaborate plan for such a complex android duo, and everything else mysterious about this man, just who is he? his master plan of masculaxi was really amazing to see come to fruition... maestro fought on the side of dyrenell, against dragons -- against elysium you could say. although ex machina seeks the destruction of terrestrial life because they "allied with the dragons" (a misconception,) on the contrary maybe maestro aimed to create an ultimate weapon for terrestrials to defend themselves against the dragons. however this weapon had to also understand the value of what it was fighting for -- learning for itself how to go about "fighting for peace." thus, the creation of the twins mascula and laxi; two halves of a whole. by having a compassionate and adaptable heart, they can change with the times, understand the people around them, and decide on their own what the best course of action is in various situations. i love love LOVE masculaxi and how they're written!! (for the most part.) two of my faves in the game and i love them and their characterization so much, i just wish more people could see the intricacies of their relationship and how they're literally like. 1/2 of the same thing. it's such a beautifully written dynamic and development, and i want others to appreciate it too.

a little bonus, in this character art, you can see the "star tetrahedron" shapes. in sacred geometry symbolism, the "star tetrahedron" is the sixth shape enclosed within "metatron's cube." these shapes, and this cube, are said to maintain the balance of the world itself and its flows/processes. as for the "star tetrahedron" itself, it represents duality: physical body and spiritual self; male and female; and heaven and earth. this ties into mascula and laxi's characters: mascula controlling the "mind" in eden mode while laxi focuses on the attacking "body;" and mascula and laxi being of different genders. as for "heaven" and "earth," this could represent maestro coming from the sky city ark, and masculaxi being technology intended to aid humans. alternatively for "heaven" and "earth," the fact that the star tetrahedron is enclosed within "metatron's cube" may be a pointer to metatron in-universe. the archangels all have white hair, a trait shared by masculaxi. additionally, sandalphon is somewhat mechanical/technological herself. masculaxi being man-made (of the earth,) versus their potential connection to the angels (of the heavens.)

[ghostiewriter]

this isn’t an ask or anything, more like a rant but im fr so tired of twitter stans and the way they attack madison/jiara on ANYTHING.

i don’t necessarily agree with some things madison does but they’re not HARMFUL. like yesterday when she went live to address the people who were hating on her for her dress at the mtv awards. i don’t remember exactly what she said but ppl on twitter started calling her a “classist” ?? like what. because she said one little thing, she’s a classist..make it make sense. it’s so funny to me because everyone in the main cast with the exception of madelyn and jd (unless im missing something) have done something wrong, yet i see madison get the most hate for what she’s done? also i don’t get why people say madison is transphobic, when she’s clearly not..it’s so confusing to me. she’s spoken up about trans rights before and how we shouldn’t exclude them from black lives matter. i know she made a poor comment like two years ago but she was young and probably didn’t know any better.

and as for people who attack jiara stans/jiara, get a life?? why does it bother you what people ship...? it’s so strange, like just focus on your own ship. imagine telling someone to k*pk themselves because of what they ship 😍. i would understand if it was a toxic ship...but it’s not. hot take but tumblr stans > instagram stans > twitter stans. obx twt stans are the worst, they can’t respect anyone or anything for shit.

okay that’s all, thanks for listening to me ramble and i would love to know your thoughts as well!

I don’t know all the details of the situation, nor have I seen the “evidence” that people have for all these claims. But I have an opinion, and I’m not saying my opinion should be everyone’s but nonetheless here it is.

I tend to avoid fandom Twitter because it’s generally quite toxic, and the OBX fandom is just an example of it. They are ruthless, they interpret things how they want and then use it to “cancel” celebrities because they take clips out of context and use it as “evidence”. They seem to love targeting Maddie, most likely because she tends to respond to their claims (which honey, I wish you wouldn’t because they don’t deserve the attention ahshsbdb). But it’s not only Maddie they do this too, they like to do it to other cast members and even take it to the people around them. Then again, this isn’t just a Twitter thing, you tend to see this in every platform and within every fandom.

It’s stupid and I honestly don’t understand the point. I’m not saying people should or shouldn’t be “cancelled” but if someone’s done or said something shitty or wrong, they should be educated and learn to grow as a person. Cancelling them does nothing, tell them why they are wrong and let them learn from their mistakes. They deserve a chance to be a better person.

And as for the ship thing? It’s just simply immature. We all watched this show and loved it, we have that in common. However, we just saw the potential in different ships. That’s okay, that’s honestly completely okay. What I don’t understand is why we can’t just let each other go about with our preferred ships and leave it there. Telling people to k*ll themselves over a ship? Calling them homophobic or racist if they don’t ship the same ship as you? Like ma’am if you can’t learn to respect someone else’s opinion on something as trivial as a fictional ship in a TV show, then the internet is not the place for you. If it bothers you that much, just blog the hashtag and be done with it. No need to get hostile and say such extreme and rude things to people.

I would also like people to remember that though these actors play fictional characters we love on a show, they are also humans. Just like yourself and I. And they have boundaries and they aren’t perfect and they are bound to make mistakes. It’s not our job as their fans, and as people in general, to harass them and “cancel” them. Whatever Maddie said, I’m sure she meant no ill intention by and most likely should’ve just worded it better. I’m sure we’ve all had situations like this. But like this lovely anon said, none of it is harmful. Maddie and the rest of the OBX cast are young, they are gonna make some mistakes and they will grow from them. Unlike the rest of us, they are in the spotlight where everyone’s pointing a camera at them and waiting for them to trip up. But once again, they are still human and still deserve a chance to grow as a person and learn from their mistakes.

But if you think harassing them and “cancelling” them and bullying them is gonna solve anything, you can kindly fuck right off my blog!❤️

[bakugoukatsuki-rising]

hey love your blog!! bkdk is about the only bnha ship I can get down with honestly, but I think im just gonna accept izuku/ochaco as endgame at this point even tho I think its bland and uninteresting thematically and personally. I think everyone needs to as well for the sake of hori or else he's gonna end up with death threats at his door again. Unforetunly, this fandom is filled to the brim with toxic ass shippers. I'd personally love a bkdk endgame, but the manga/anime has a overwhelming percentage of straight, male viewers under the age of 25 cuz well that's the shonen jump fanbase in a nutshell lol. Most, if not all of them are looking for a power fantasy and heteronormatively. Unfortunately, we just aren't his target demographic. Yeah, Hori's gonna make the story how he wants but he's always gonna have shonen jump yankin his chains. They're gonna want a safe endgame ship, especially since LGBT stuff is still a debated issue in Japan. Im always down to be surprised, but I'm doubtful. I just hope whatever comes, everyone can respect Horikoshis decisions. I'm just glad he's been keeping us fed with such GOOD content this year and im hoping for another great bkdk year in 2021. Cheers!

Hi friend, I do want you to know that the death threat situation never happened.

It was angry krbk shippers wanting to make bkdk shippers look bad, and the rumors spread like wildfire, as they do. Also, the only real shipper issue that ever happened was some young krbk shippers creating a petition to get krbk made canon, but what the hell is that gonna do, ya know? I highly doubt Horikoshi pays any mind to his Western fanbase, which is where all of this craziness comes from.

I also want to state that the shippers aren’t as toxic as you think, it’s just finding the right ones to associate with and keeping away from everyone else. I have seen tons of bad people in this fandom, but I choose to move on and focus on the good ones I’ve found, and there are a shit ton more of those, believe me. My entire blog is filled with beautiful, kind hearted folks that just enjoy bnha and bkdk and whatever else they want without causing any issues. 

The people who are toxic tend to be either younger fans or homophobic dudebros that wanna save the holiness of Shounen from the gays, which, tough fucking luck lmao 

As for the endgame bit, I still have my heart set on bkdk, and that’s only because I don’t need bkdk endgame to be romantic, I just need them together. Whether that’s as good friends, hero partners, or whatever else. I don’t want to see Horikoshi unnecessarily introduce romance when it isn’t needed, and I would rather him just keep all aspects of it out of it, especially if he doesn’t plan to go with the one pairing he’s been genuinely building up the entire series. 

But no matter what he chooses, I’m okay with it. I won’t necessarily like it or think it’s a good choice if he goes with izuocha, but this is his story and I have no say in what he does, and the story is still amazing despite it. I just hope, if that is his choice, that he makes a steady effort to do more for them in terms of chemistry and relationship, cause if he moved forward with anything now, it would be really disappointing. 

So yeah, that’s my take on that!! :)

[argumentl]

The Freedom of Expression Ep 4 - Covid 19's effect on the entertainment industry.

*note: this episode was recorded in March 2020*

K: Hi, this is Dir en grey's Kaoru, starting this edition of the freedom of expression. Joe san, Tasai san, lets start once again.

J, T: Please

K: Well, well, well!

J: Well, well, well indeed!

K: Agh, things have really gotten tough.

J: Yeah, its tough. Its like this in the media too, when you meet anyone in our industry, if you speak to them its always, 'how is corona affecting you?', isnt it?

K: Thats right..

J: There is never a day where we don't talk about it.

K: *To Tasai* How is it at Tokyo Sports?

T: Well, most of the news is about corona..

J: I bet

K: Well, everywhere is like that, isnt it.

T: It seems like 80 or 90% is about corona at the moment. Entertainment events are being canceled one after the other, the places where we can go to report are disappearing.

K: Right

K: Do you (at Tokyo Sports) have any new ways to get through this?

T: Well, there really has been a lot of corona related news. For example, opportunistic scammers, people lying about the virus being in the sewers and scamming money off others. Or for example, up-and-coming new talets are losing work and have zero income, or the problem of people re-selling masks...this kind of thing is happening a lot.

J: This is really difficult..

Kami: Hello?

J: Oh, he's here!

Kami: Hello? Um, If you write articles about corona, can you sell a lot?

T: Can we sell a lot? Hmm, well its difficult...economic activity is getting stagnant so selling a lot is just making up for our losses. It feels more like sustaining ourselves.

Kami: Ahh

K: People want information right?

T: Well, yes.

K:Hmm, yeah. Theres a lot of info out there which is fanning the fear.

J: Yes, yes, yes, I think so too.

K: Of course, urging caution, or warning people  about where is dangerous, I want to know that kind of thing, but what about reporting the number of recovered people or that type of thing? If you don't hear anything like that, you only feel scared.

J: Yes, its true. Well as for me, in terms of work, for example, I met with newspaper science correspondents, these guys are always talking to the experts, and they are asking why all the tabloid news outlets are talking about the number of infections, or toilet paper running out and such. They are only talking about things to fan the fear, but there is no calm, scientific, reporting on how much of a threat this actually is.... So, this corona virus is part of the corona virus family that all animals can carry, and there are 7 types which can transmit to humans. This new corona virus is one of those. Up to now, there are also SARS and MERS. Corona viruses themselves, will always be with us. The seventh is the newest type, the shape of the virus is like a crown, hence the name corona virus. Certainly its said that SARS and MERS were equally scary, but if you look at it with a calm approach, the death rate isnt that much higher. At this point in time, there are of course people in the world catching this virus and facing a lot of trouble, but there isnt an excessive death rate. For example, in 2009 there was an out break of a new type of influenza in Japan, in reality over 10 million people caught that. At the moment, there are not even that many people who have caught this new corona virus. If you think about that, the things being reported now are just inducing panic. For some reason, there is very little rational, scientific news being reported. I have the feeling we are being manipulated by slightly sensational news.  When i meet with science correspondents, there are many who say there is no need to clamour to this extent. They say, be concerned, but not to this extent.

Kami: Its excessive, right? Corona beer doesnt sell any more * J laughs*

J: Isnt that a different corona?

Kami: Its different, but it looks like it still doesnt sell.

J: Oh really?

Kami: People probably feel a bit wrong drinking 'corona' beer.

J: I see.

T: It goes well with Mexican food.

J: Kami, do you like Corona beer, by the way?

Kami: I don't really know *everyone laughs*

T: But my friend who is a doctor says the best means of prevention is washing your hands and gargling. Its the cheapest in terms of cost, and most effective. Just wash your hands, and gargle.

K: Well, yes. Influenza rates have apparently been the lowest this year havn't they?

J: Yes, because everyone is dutifully washing thier hands and gargling. So, as for masks, acvording to the WHO, they don't necessarily prevent you from catching it. Rather, they prevent infected people from spreading thier germs. Just because you wear a mask, you won't necessarily be safe, so im not sure about this whole bulk buying.

T: You know 'Monster' Hiranabe, who works for us, he said 'I've never caught a cold since I was born' *K laughs*

J: Because he's an idiot. He's an idiot.

T: '....so I don't need to wear a mask' he says.

*everyone laughs* He seems really bold *1

K: That guy is ??? *2

J: Yes, really.

T: ??? *3

J: Well one thing is that events and live shows in the entertainment industry are being cancelled, so how long will we keep having to cancel things? Of course there are still some people continuing as normal, and some people deciding to stop, I think there are probably more deciding to stop..Kaoru, what do you think about the issue?

K: Yeah, well, live venues have become demonised in all of this..

J: Yes, thats right. I don't know about singling out live venues, I mean, the Yamanote train line is still running, the subway is still running, there were some politicians holding a chicken party and such, and thats seems to be thought of as ok. Why are live venues...I mean, im sure some infections have resulted from them, but why have they been focused on so much? Maybe thats a Japanese thing? Finding one target and everyone getting worked up, focusing on that and feeling satisfied, relieved, and not talking about the root of the problem, I think thats it.

T: Yeah

K: Well, as for us, we are not at the point of deciding whether or not to record, but whether we decide to or not, there are things we have to be prepared for.

J: Certainly.

K: When I think about whats to come, its scary. How to go forward from here is the first thing.

J: Thats right. And this isn't a problem that only musicians have to think about.

K: Right

J: For sports, like the soccor and baseball leagues, they will have to hold talks and figure out a plan, despite being rivals. In this light, its not just the music business, but the entertainment, or performance industry on the whole who will have to think about what to do if this situation arises for second or third time.

T: Im not well informed, but when you cancel a live show, who shoulders the cost?

K: Uh, we pay for it.

J: Its the sponser.

K: Yes, the sponser.

J: For most one-man shows, the artist is the sponser, and the artist has to bear the burden. So for very large venues, the cost is significant. Of course there's your set etc aswell, you can't forget that. The expense will just fly straight at you. If its a large venue, a dome arena or such, it will cost more. If you an independent artist, a (cancelled) tour with  multiple venues will only result in bankruptcy. This is real problem. Having said that, the band Tokyo Jihen have done multiple lives, but they have recieved a tonne of criticism, I wonder if they deserve that much anger for playing shows...

K: Well, i can understand thier feelings. Even if you decide to do a show or an event, it will probably result in some damage. People will hesitate to buy tickets, so that will be hard I think.

J: Yes, thats right.

K: Thats what i imagine. I can't help thinking its all heading in a bad direction.

J: Yeah, its hard to imagine everyone suddenly returning to the venues straight after these sudden cancellations.

K: Mm, it will probably be hard to go.

J: For sure.

T: People need to think about how to look after each other after all this.

K: Yes, yes

Kami: Um, if you do tour , how many tours would it be?

K: We do about two tours per year.

Kami: If only one of those tours went ahead, would you get half the income?

K: It would be half..

J: Well, it isnt a case of halfing it, if you take into account all your losses. Its not easy to do.

K: Financially speaking, no. Thats also true.

J: This problem is so difficult.

Kami: So for example, if you suffered huge damage, how would the band continue?

K: Well...it would probably be harsh. I think it will be difficult for us. You know, these days CD's and such thrive on the sound, so we play lives shows to focus on that, and make it pay. If we lose that..the band's future existence...well, future existence may be exaggerating it slightly, but, anyhow, i think it will be hard.

J: We are going though a hard time, but the government doesn't seem to be doing anything about it right?

K: They aren't doing anything....well, should we contine this point next time?

J: I understand.

K: Well, this time was sudden, but we'll leave it here for now. Please tune in again next time. Please subscribe.

*1, 2, 3 - Couldn't really figure out this bit.

[anarcho-smarmyism]

Long post heads up

so im assuming this will be controversial but i’ve been thinking about this for a while, so please hear me out on this: pagans, even white American ones, literally are marginalized. now, i realize that by making this post i’m opening myself up to a lot of ridicule and accusations, so i ask that yall please do me the courtesy of actually considering what i have to say before you write this post off completely.

a few things to get out of the way first: to act like it’s equivalent to widespread racialized religious discrimination against well-known established religions such as Judaism or Islam is obviously wrong. to act like modern pagans aren’t mostly white and that our communities don’t have huge issues with racism is obviously wrong. i laugh at most posts criticizing pagans, because i genuinely think most of them are funny; it often comes across to me mostly as bemused roasting more than anything actually hateful. i feel like pagans often just need to learn to take a joke and take ourselves a little less seriously, as many religious people need to remind themselves. also, as someone who’s been hanging out in these groups for about 6 years now, i’ll outright tell yall that most pagan groups have ongoing issues with racism, transphobia, ableism, and other social prejudices, as well as the aforementioned predators and cults. many many pagans really do just go “lols The Spirits Don’t Care About Race silly sjws” and then appropriate the hell out closed traditions and act disrespectful as hell to the people who say it’s wrong; if you’re criticizing us for shit like this, GOOD. That’s legitimate criticism that we choose to ignore far too often. 

however, more and more of the “criticism” i see on here toward pagans is just saying we’re crazy, stupid, gullible, or other shitty nu-atheist talking points that have just been repurposed to target a growing fringe subculture that has been widely declared an acceptable target by culturally christian progressives AS WELL AS the religious right.

the justification for this is that no white pagans are discriminated against for being pagan, and i know for a fact that isn’t true. all the pagans i talk to report having to keep it a secret from family, friends, or coworkers -but for this post, i’ll keep it limited to my own experiences. i was abused by my parents as a minor for converting from christianity to a pagan faith, and having to keep my religion and experiences a complete secret from most of my friends and family really did take a toll on me. now, as an adult, i’ve learned to keep my religious beliefs a secret from most strangers and especially anyone who might know me at work, because people will start treating you differently -either like you’re evil, or gullible and stupid in a way they (mostly) don’t accuse mainstream religions of. when i was in the psych ward, i was refused my paperback holy text which i had brought with me for the same reason a christian would bring a bible into a scary and traumatic situation, but because the mainly-christian patients were bullying me for being pagan and the nurses didn’t want to deal with it, so the staff withheld it from me for 3 days until i could talk to a social worker. when my aunt took me in so i could move away from my parents, she coaxed me into sharing about my religion, which i naively did because it was rare for people to take an interest in it, and then the next day she told me if i didn’t get rid of all my “occult” stuff (mostly books and tarot cards), she would kick me out. i can’t get holy days off and in some states i can’t run for a lot of public offices unless I’m Christian. (yeah, i realize the post is talking about atheists, but people use those same laws against pagans as well, because as far as they’re concerned, we don’t believe in God, either.)

if any of this happened because i converted to buddhism or another well-known established open religion, people would call it religious discrimination. non-pagans who talk about this almost always say “yeah well you CHOSE to convert that religion, it isn’t a culture or religion you were raised in”, as though that means we’re under some obligation to quietly absorb any insults or abuse related to something so universally personal as one’s faith -like why does it matter to yall if i was raised in this faith, or converted? why is a faith only “real” if you were raised in it, or are adopting it literally from your direct ancestors?

i realize to people who aren’t religious that this may sound like nonsense, but my experience as a kid wasn’t that it looked cool and trendy and i wanted to feel special. i’m sure that some people are like that, but on the by and large, that’s just a strawman. Personally, whether my experiences that led me to convert were real or not is irrelevant: I was a kid who needed to be able to confide in adults about what i was going through, but the fact that I had started to perceive the world vastly differently than Christians did, and no longer believe in Christian theology, meant it was unsafe for me to do so. not being able to talk to anyone about it without getting either literally accused of being crazy, demonically possessed (happened many times) or like i was just stupid caused real, lasting damage. instead of being the source of stability, comfort, and fellowship that faith can be during difficult times, it’s often been something i feel i need to either hide from others, or defend my right to care deeply about.

as a result of people taking this attitude toward pagans, i and many other young pagans have to rely on online spaces to find any kind of fellowship with people who believe the way that we do. this is isolating and uncomfortable for most, and legitimately dangerous for some. see, if you confine a whole subculture to be either a joke or Satanic depending on your political leaning, the subculture generally develops an Us Against Them in-group/out-group mindset, which makes it much easier for predators and some actual cults to prey on vulnerable people.

keep in mind: pagans are not a monolith; it’s an umbrella term for a lot of different religions. (i don’t claim any kind of ancestral tie to my particular pagan faith, but since it was always an open culture and religion, it doesn’t matter if i have a “hereditary right” to it.) there are a lot of pagans of color, even including Heathenism which has a literal Nazi problem. (i’m referring to people i’ve met irl as well as online here.) lots of young queer people who feel rejected by mainstream religions find a lot of comfort in worshipping queer icons like Loki, Dionysus, Artemis, Set, etc. When you write off pagans as a whole for being just dumb racist white people, you throw them under the bus by erasing them. you isolate them the same way you do me, and they are even more likely to experience the kind of discrimination and abuse i have. is it really worth it to make them feel even more alienated in their religious choices, because they go against the mean-spirited stereotype that secular and non-pagan progressive people have crafted for pagans? 

Also, antifascist and progressive pagans are already swimming against the tide to make social prejudices persona not grata within our spaces, and it makes pagan reactionaries’ recruitment tactics WAY more effective when the world around new, insecure pagans tells them they’re automatically racist privileged white people for being interested in paganism. you don’t need to have any sympathy for bigots, but you should at least acknowledge the end result of this kind of rhetoric. i don’t like it either, but most people aren’t going to stop being pagan, or stop talking about it publicly altogether (as that seems to be the only thing that will make yall happy lol) when people make fun of them constantly; they’re gonna dig their heels in and do the in-group out-group thing people always fuckin’ do in these situations. that mindset makes otherwise-normal people, who may have been willing to learn and grow out of their background prejudices under other circumstances, easier for the truly racist monsters in our community to begin grooming.

paganism is a swiftly growing counterculture, and it’s more than likely that at some point it’s going to be part of a larger conversation on religious freedom. i don’t think people on tumblr or twitter roasting pagans is discriminatory necessarily, but life isn’t split up into “discrimination” and “okay things to do”. yall are pretty obviously just petty and excited to make fun of people who you think are weird, because yall can easily insist that every pagan is a privileged racist cis white lady, therefore it’s totally okay to be rude, dismissive, or just outright mean-spirited to pagans as a group because you’re pretending your bullying is enlightened or required by social justice laws. this is what we in pagan culture call “a dick move”. 

besides, it’s ten thousand times more accurate and funnier to roast us for being too self important and arguing over whether emoji spells are Serious Magic or not lmao.

[nothorses]

can i just say im not really fond of this new trend of taking a mlm couple and genderbending them into a wlw one? like congrats! transphobia and homophobia in one go! taking away someone else's representation to give some to another group is... not it. especially when considering how transphobic genderbends are. it's unfortunately something i see a lot though.

Huh, I haven’t really seen that around!

I will say that I don’t necessarily agree that genderbending is always transphobic- I think a lot of folks use it as a means of gender exploration for themselves, and I think a lot of it can be done in interesting ways that do actually address different aspects of how transphobia and other gender-based oppression works in our society.

It’s kind of in a similar area for me that drag is; it can be done in ways that perpetuate transphobia, and in the mainstream, it often is. But it’s also given a lot of queer people- especially trans people- room to explore gender that they can’t find otherwise. I think it’s something that needs to be addressed case-by-case, based on whether an individual’s portrayal is doing actual harm to trans people, rather than whether they’re engaging with it at all.

That said, it’s definitely not helpful to perpetuate this idea that one kind of gay representation is inherently “better” or “more useful” than another. wlw representation isn’t more “necessary” than mlm representation, and vice versa.

If folks are like... fully claiming that genderbending mlm representation to wlw is an “improvement” in any kind of way, well. Clearly that’s not doing anything but hurting a community still sorely in need of positive representation.

Idk, I think it’s complicated! And given how little space there is in fandom for actual mlm people, I think folks in general need to be aware of who they center in fandom for media that is targeted at, and for, mlm.

[collectivefandomstuff]

mum... im being bullied on this site for writing and posting a story that apparently makes me into a racist even though i tried really hard to write it so its clear that the POV character is a shitty person and not me??? halp, i need advice pleaze

Hi there :) this is a sensitive subject, but I’ll give it a try.

When writing, what we’re essentially trying to do is communicate what’s in our heads to someone else’s using words. And, contrary to what some believe, using art/writing/whatever as a medium to convey those thoughts are hard and we all end up miscommunicating eventually. Now, in my experiece there are several types of literary miscommunication so I’ll try to cover them all:

1. Miscommunication due to differing perspectives. This happens when you and your audience comes at a text from different viewpoints. Sometimes it’s that you write from the metaphorical north and you can’t see that from the south this story looks way different. For example, look at 13 reasons why. They had a very graphic suicide scene that was meant to “start a discussion” but had other, much less positive consequences. In these situations, I usually ask myself: 1) am I willing to let the southern perspective stand? (as in, am I okay with what it implies?) and 2) is anyone getting hurt? If so, it’s not generally worth it.

The second incarnation of this miscommunication has to do with ethics. For example, if I were to write a story where the main character has an abortion, I would count on this making the character more sympathetic, not less, since I grew up in a culture without any real “pro-life” movement. I would be wary of the portayal because the protagonist would go through intense emotional turmoil, but I would never give the politics a second thought. Thus, if my audience tells me that the main character is a bad person (or that I am) I can stand firm on my ethics (or change them) and act accordingly.

2. Miscommunication through language. This is a big one. Sometimes when we speak to someone we just express ourselves poorly, and the same thing happens when we write. This one is hard to take as a writer, because there’s a prevailing idea that if you can’t convey your point you’re a bad writer, but that’s not the case. When writing, you usually start off writing cliches that have been written a hundred times before, and as you work at it you eventually start incorporating more of your own creativity into the work. When you do that, you can’t rely on people knowing the formula anymore and that’s when we start making mistakes. Let’s say I base a character on one of my friends, and someone criticizes that character for being a sexist trope since she dresses slutty and is pretty sexual. I’m over here like “no?? that’s Claire!” But in reality I failed to make the text reflect what I know: that Claire is multifaceted and interesting. These miscommunications help us become better writers and they never go away either. You know that one tumblr post about the Literature PhDs who has a whole seminar about whether Edgar Allan Poe was racist? Yeah.

From what you told me, you decided to take on writing an unsympathetic protagonist. That’s real tricky, and also a great way to practice characterisation and writing in general. It’s great that you’re doing it, but it also means that making these sorts of mistakes is more likely.

*this one is extra difficult if you’re writing in a second/third etc. language.

3. Miscommunication due to subconcious bias. We’re all products of our enviroments, upbringings, and experiences. Like with varying ethics due to cultural differences, we can’t ignore that sometimes we have preconceptions we’re not necessarily aware of and those can sneak into our writing. For example: I grew up in Europe, where there’s a strong anti-romani sentiment. The first time I learned about romani it was through the sentence “you can’t trust gypsies, they’re all thieves” (this is a slur and should not be used by non-romani. I’m using it here because this is a direct quote that underlines the severity of the jargon). I’m aware of this, and I conciously try to fight the cultural upbringing I had, but these things run deep. If I wrote a text and someone told me that it was offensive towards romani I would take that seriously, because sometimes bias shows up even when we don’t mean for it to. It doesn’t make us bad people, but it is something we have to be aware of as a possibility when we write.

Finally, there’s one more explanation that has nothing to do with miscommunication. Sometimes, tumblr does that because while tumblr is a safe space it’s also a bubble. A bubble with many, many people that tend to see the world through the good ol’ fashioned black/white goggles. Sometimes the audience is just wrong.

To you, anon, I would like to say this: from what you wrote it seems you’re going through a tough time. It’s hard being the target of an anonymous mass that are accusing you of being a bad person, especially in regards to a work you put a lot of effort into and conciously tried to make non-offensive. It’s okay to feel like you can’t handle it and simply change your account/take down the story/whatever makes you feel safe. Writing a story online shouldn’t become a source of bad feelings and thoughts.

If you want tips on the story itself, I would say try to re-read it and attempt to see it through the eyes of those who critizise you. Do they have a point? You can also ask someone else to read it, to get feedback. It can be really hard to see your own work from another perspective. If the discourse isn’t too toxic, you could also engage with your audience and ask them what parts of your story are making them feel that way, since this isn’t what you intended.

No author is perfect, least of all people writing for fun on the internet and it’s not always apparent to the audience how much their comments can hurt, in the end you wrote this story to communicate something and you’ve become a better writer for it. Likewise, you’ve learned something from the response and you’re under no obligation to leave it up or take it down or fix it or whatever. Don’t let it scare you away from writing more things.

I hope this helped. Take care of yourself anon❤️

Edit: I wanted to add that if people are genuinely drawing a direct link between your views and that of a purposefully flawed character then that’s on them and you should do whatever you feel is best for you and your well being.