#this isn’t proof read lmao hope it makes sense

[c-nan]

okay so melissa sue anderson left little house on the prairie bc she thought they exhausted all of mary’s storylines and there was no more for her character but she was WRONG so i complied a list of writing choices the show writers could’ve done to extend her story the rest of the series:

1. mary and adam could have adopted james and cassandra cooper

to me, it would’ve made so much more sense if mary and adam adopted james and cassandra, rather than ma and pa (bc of space + money reasons). this would’ve keep mary in the show longer bc they could’ve have episodes focusing around the kids adjusting to life with mary and adam being their new parents (BAM, happy mary episodes). there would be episodes of the kids at school and mary helping them and such (which would ofc bring more mary and laura interaction bc i loved their sister bond). and of course they’d still visit ma and pa (esp with cassandra being carrie’s only friend and james looking up to albert), so mary would get tons more screen time, even in the eps that don’t revolve around her.

(also, i love cassandra, she’s super cute and a great addition to the show, but like. she takes a lot away from carrie i feel, and i don’t think it would’ve been that way if mary and adam would’ve adopted cassandra (and james) instead)

2. mary could’ve gotten pregnant again and the baby could’ve lived

she lost her first one before it was even born and she lost her second to a horrific house fire, the least the writers could do is give her a baby that lives!! the real mary ingalls never got married, never got children, so i found it unnecessarily cruel that they give the fictionalized character two and then take them both away for what? shock value? stupid imo. a part of me believes that they tried to give her a happier ending than the real mary ingalls, but honestly this seems worse than never being married or having children at all. ANYWAY, with the trauma of losing her first two children, having another would bring on a great, long-term storyline of her and adam being paranoid of any harm that may hypothetically come to it (which would be subtly weaved into mary-centric episodes about her and adam having a family) but by the end of the series, the child would still be happily alive and she’d be HAPPY!!!! and still living in walnut grove of course <3

3. mary and adam could’ve moved back to sleepy eye

adam could’ve gotten a job at that one firm (remember the one Important Lawyer Guy wanting him at his firm after the land case??), and mary could’ve kept the blind school open and teach with hester sue (what she’s wanted to do HER WHOLE LIFE). i think the stupidest thing the writers did to her story was to introduce this wonderful teaching opportunity, have her fall in love with all her students and with teaching, having the perfect life, JUST to rip it all away bc stupid-ass adam got his eyesight back and decide he doesn’t give two shits about the blind school or the kids bc now he can be a lawyer despite all the work they went through continuously to keep the school going. who cares what mary wants?? adam sure doesn’t. and idk, mary not giving much of a fight to stay in sleepy eye and continue to teach never sat right with me, it’s not in her character and honestly feels like an injustice to her. i feel her having the opportunity to go back and fight for her school to reopen would be more true to how she’s been established all these years and would definitely get her a two-parter and keep her in the show (even if we only see her on the odd ep when they travel to sleepy eye for work. better than nothing 🤷)

4. (my personal fave and not an option for the show but can’t a girl dream) mary could’ve left adam bc he doesn’t respect her life and wishes, and go back to sleepy eye to reopen the blind school. there, she could’ve eventually fell in love with one of the female townsfolk and finally live her best lesbian life surrounded by people who love and appreciate her

if i hadn’t made it clear yet, i hate adam and i love any alternative where he is most definitely not a part of mary’s life lmfao. sure, they had their cute moments but i cannot get over the fact that more often than not, he’s an asshole and i can’t stand him <3 the complete disregard for her wishes (taking her away from TEACHING) really irks my ass and not for a second did he stop and think “is there anyway i can achieve my dream without taking away mary’s?” no. no he didn’t, he didn’t care, he didn’t even ask her. like. dude. i feel this would be the perfect ending for her, and many episodes could be used to show her befriending the female townsperson, becoming good friends, and eventually fall in love (and this lady would APPRECIATE HER!!) all the while reopening the blind school and finally getting her happy ending!!!!! idk, it’s perfect to me, there’s no flaws in this one but ik the 80’s (and honestly today too) were too homophobic for this 🙄 it’s real for me, it’s canon idc.

final notes

i’m well aware there’s probably a million more ideas i can come up with and when i do i’ll just rb an addition, but these are the best i’ve got right now!! and notice how i was able to add to her storyline without giving her unbearable anguish?? wish the writers could’ve done that!! but no!! alas, i work with the cards i’m dealt, and i’ve spent a lot of time thinking of these alternatives which helps sooth the pain of awful writing choices.

i guess i’m just upset they took a character with so much potential (and one of the most interesting storylines imo) and just give her nothing and reduce her to nothing more than a wife. by the end of her story, it seemed like she was just there to be adam’s side-piece which doesn’t sit right with me. she deserved better than that and melissa sue anderson deserved better than that (she is SUCH an amazing actress, and it really sucks to see her put on the back burner since s5)

anyway, ik im yelling into the void here but idc i needed to get it all written down lol

[ja3yun]

Guilty as Sin | P.SH

ceo!sunghoon x assistant!reader warnings: smut (mdni), unprotected sex, cream pie, desk sex, doggy, dom!hoon, choking, petnames (slut, good girl), slight dub con (hoon doesn't know what she's doing on the phone), age gap (reader is 22 and hoon is 27), not proof read, its not great tbh, anything else lmk! w.c: 3.8k synopsis: with your roommate gone for the evening, it is the perfect opportunity to let loose and think about a certain ceo while you fulfil your deepest desires. a/n: hi! this is ofc based on guilty as sin by taylor swift. just a heads up, the italics are her fantasy and straight text is what is happening in the real world. i tried to make it as clear as possible but sorry if its confusing near the end! this is just a little someting I wrote quickly (who would have guessed I could write a wc under 10k lmao). i hope you like it and as always feedback, comments, reblogs and likes are all appreciated.

part 2

Placing her trusted Charlotte Tilbury lipstick in her bag, your best friend and roommate of three years, Jimin, is finally ready to go out for the night. She looks glamorous from head to toe, effortlessly exuding the confidence and allure of a world-class supermodel.

Her hair cascades in loose waves, artfully swept over one shoulder, highlighting her elegant neck and perfectly styled tresses. Her tanned skin glows under the soft lighting, accentuating the contrast with her white spaghetti strap crop top, which subtly showcases her toned midriff. Her black suede shorts hug her figure, adding a touch of sophistication and edge to her ensemble. Strappy heels elongate her legs, making her look even more statuesque.

As Jimin adjusts her earrings, you can't help but admire her impeccable sense of style and grace. Her makeup is flawlessly applied, with a hint of shimmer on her eyelids and a bold, dark red lip that makes her look like she’s stepped straight out of a DAZED magazine.

In stark contrast, you are nestled comfortably on the couch in your cherry pink pyjamas, lost in the pages of "King of Pride." The soft fabric of your pyjamas provides a comforting embrace, and your hair is casually pulled back in a loose ponytail. Your face is free of makeup, showcasing your natural beauty and the relaxed ease of someone enjoying a quiet evening, just you, a glass of wine, and the much-needed company of Kai Young.

“Okay, how do I look?” Jimin turns to you, plastering on a big smile, extending her arms so you can get a full glimpse of her carefully orchestrated outfit.

Holding your place in your book with your thumb, you pretend to inspect her harshly, knowing anything less would be deemed as not caring - at least in the eyes of your best friend. “I think…you look like the prettiest girl in the room, no, the world” you compliment her earnestly.

Tutting, she rolls her eyes. “You and Jaeyun say the same thing every time,” she giggles, enjoying the compliment despite it being a secret mantra you and her boyfriend have conjured up to keep her happy. Jimin has a certain way she likes to be spoken to and if it isn’t the most dramatic, complimentary words you can muster, you might as well call her an ugly hag who cracks mirrors.

Jaeyun and you have always rated her an unequivocal one hundred out of ten.

“Are you absolutely sure you don’t want to come?” Jimin asks for the fifth time in three hours. “Heeseung will be there, you know he has a bit of a crush on you.” She wiggles her eyebrows playfully, clearly enjoying how your face flushes at mentioning his name. Heeseung is handsome, no doubt about it, but he isn’t the man you would rush out the door for.

“I promise, I am quite happy here with my rich soon-to-be CEO and a glass of Pino,” you wave her off and open your book again, digging back into the chapter she pulled you from.To be honest, it’s not entirely a fib; you do want to stay in and enjoy a glass of wine, though your plans are slightly more elaborate than they seem—details she doesn’t need to know about.

“Well, don’t wait up. I’m planning to stay at Jaeyun’s afterwards,” she announces with a gleeful smile. Her infectious joy and the glimmer in her eyes catch the warm light from the lamp beside you, casting a gentle glow over the room.

As she gives a final twirl and heads out the door, leaving the apartment with a high-pitched goodbye, you wait to hear the faint turn of her key in the lock. Once you detect that reassuring click, signalling her definitive departure, you wedge your bookmark in the novel and place it on the side table, promising yourself that you will return to it later; you have another CEO to attend to.

Grasping your glass of crisp wine and your phone, you make your way to your bedroom. The room is softly lit, with fairy lights casting a warm, ambient glow. You place your wine on the nightstand, sitting softly on your bed as you unlock your phone.

A sigh leaves your wine-tainted lips as you open up Instagram, going straight to a certain someone’s page. The same person that has left you so needy all day that you have been counting down the minutes and seconds until you get some alone time.

Park Sunghoon. 

Your boss, Park Sunghoon, who gave you a job as his assistant straight out of Grad school after attending one of his special lectures, the one who has shown you the ropes of the Marketing world and introduced you to important contacts to help you in the future, and the one who makes it insanely difficult to concentrate in any board or business meeting because of how insanely attractive he is.

Sunghoon is a gift from the gods: tall, wealthy, extraordinarily handsome, and incredibly hard to resist. He is admirable and focused, commanding a room in a way you wish he would with you, hoping that the passion and energy he has for the business could somehow translate into a more intimate setting, with you on the receiving end. He has worked tirelessly to build his company from rags to riches, becoming the youngest, highest-grossing CEO in the country, making every Forbes 30 Under 30 list there is. You are immensely grateful for the opportunity to work as his assistant.

That is why what you are about to do feels like a betrayal. Your heart tells you this is wrong, embarking on sinful acts such as this, but it also convinces you that thoughts inside your mind aren’t anything to feel ashamed about, as long as you look and never touch.

And so far, you haven’t ever laid a finger on him, much to your disdain. There have been times when all you can think about is pouncing on him while he sits at his desk, imagining bouncing on his cock until you’re high off his cum and kisses. You envision his white shirts and black ties discarded, your lips all over his toned chest and stomach, hearing him moan your name as you make your way to suck his cock better than any of his socialite flings ever could.

If the assistant and CEO dynamic wasn’t enough to deter you from making your fantasies a reality, the class barrier would be your first hurdle. Sunghoon comes from a world of privilege and status, a realm of luxury and power. Despite your impressive academic achievements and the progress you’ve made in your career, there’s always an underlying awareness of the different worlds you inhabit. You’re 22 and an assistant just starting to work your way up and Sunghoon is a 27-year-old CEO of a multi-million dollar franchise.

You are nowhere near his level.

Yet, the allure of his presence is irresistible. His charisma and the subtle way he looks at you during meetings ignite a forbidden desire within you. The professionalism you maintain in the office is a fragile veneer, concealing the simmering tension and your hidden longing. Each day, you master the art of restraint, keeping your fantasies locked away, only to revisit them in the privacy of your room, where the boundaries of reality and imagination blur.

Scrolling through his Instagram, you hone in on one particular picture, your favourite among them all: his GQ CEO of the Year cover. Maybe it was because you were there when it was taken, seeing him switch poses, flicking his eyebrows up and smirking into the camera, his fingers gripping the edges of his desk as the photographer shouted praises intertwined with instructions. God, how you would do anything to be bent over that table and fucked to oblivion by the man.

You reach into your bedside drawer and retrieve the pretty pink dildo you ordered from Adam & Eve, the size mimicking what you imagine Sunghoon’s looks like: slim but not skinny, long and arched, with a large bell at the end. It’s so wrong to imagine what your boss’ dick looks like, never mind buying a toy specifically to fantasise about him, but you can’t bring yourself to feel guilty about it—not when you’re cumming around it and screaming his name.

Position yourself comfortably, the soft sheets bunch up around you and close your eyes. The fantasy takes over, vivid and tantalising. You picture Sunghoon, his intense gaze locked on you, his hands rough yet tender as they roam your body. The thought of his voice, low and commanding, fills your mind, heightening your arousal.

And you get lost in the fantasy as you look at the picture illuminating your screen.

Pushing down your pyjama shorts, you discard them quickly, your cunt already greedy to be filled. You rub the dildo up and down your slick folds, gathering your natural lubricant as you look at Sunghoon’s stern face on your phone screen, remembering all the times he has reprimanded you for doing something wrong. You never fully took in the severity of the situation, your mind too lost in the lower octave of his tone and how badly you wished to be punished by him.

“Bend over. Now,” he says with venom lacing his tone, the words cutting through his quiet office.

You do as he says, leaning over the desk and hiking up your skirt, eagerly anticipating your retribution. The air is thick with tension as Sunghoon’s body looms close to you, teasing you even with just his presence. Your mind races as his hands situate themselves on your hips, pulling your ass back into him, the action causing your cunt to meet his bulge. The outline of his length protrudes through his Prada slacks, making your pussy ache all over him.

Leaning his body over yours so his chest is pressed firmly against your back, he ghosts his lips over your earlobe. “How many times do I need to tell you to do your job right?” His question is rhetorical, knowing that if you speak, you’ll get an even worse punishment.

His warm breath on your ear sends shivers down your spine, and you feel your core tighten in anticipation. His grip on your hips tightens as he slowly grinds against you, the friction of his bulge against your soaked panties making you whimper. The feeling of his hard cock pressing into you, even through the fabric is intoxicating, and you can’t help but arch your back, pushing yourself closer to him.

“Look at you,” he murmurs, his voice low and taunting. “So desperate for it. Such a needy little slut.”

Before you can respond, he straightens up, his hands leaving your hips, his warm grip now replaced with the cold lingering of want. Without warning, he brings his hand down on your ass with a sharp smack. The sensation is electric, a mix of pain and pleasure that makes you gasp, the sting of the spank sends a jolt of arousal straight to your core, and you bite your lip to stifle a moan.

“Did you like that?” he asks, his tone mocking. He doesn’t wait for an answer as his hand comes down again, harder this time, the sound of the impact echoing in the large office. The force makes you tremble, your skin tingling with the aftershock, your cunt leaking down your leg in sheer joy and agony.

“Yes, sir,” you manage to gasp, the words escaping your lips before you can stop them.

“Good girl,” he purrs, and you feel his hand rub soothing circles over the spot he just spanked, the contrast of his gentle touch against the sting making your body crave more. He is giving you the perfect mixture of punishment and rest, somehow making you crave a spanking more than ever before despite your ass whispering pleas of ‘no more’

Another sharp smack lands on your other cheek, and you can’t hold back the moan that escapes your throat. The pain mingles with pleasure, your pussy throbbing with need. Each hit is harder than the last, and you can feel the heat rising in your skin, the stinging sensation turning into a delicious ache.

“Do you want more?” he asks, his voice dripping with seduction. “Do you want me to punish you properly?”

“Yes, sir,” you reply breathlessly, your body trembling with anticipation. These two words seem to be the only thing that can fall from your lips other than strangled moans and mewls of desire.

He spanks you again, the force making you lurch forward, your hands gripping the edge of the desk for support, the hit vibrating all the way to your throbbing bud. The sharp sting reverberates through your body, intensifying the ache between your legs. You feel yourself getting wetter, your juices dripping down your thighs, hitting the Versace shoes that Sunghoon bought you for a work event.

“Look at you,” he taunts, his voice low and commanding. “So needy, so desperate. You can’t even control yourself, can you?”

“No, sir,” you admit, your voice a whimper. “I need you.”

His hand comes down on your ass again, harder than before, and you cry out, the mix of pain and pleasure overwhelming your senses. You can feel the slickness between your thighs increasing, naturally preparing yourself for what is to come.

“You’re such a good girl,” he murmurs, his hand rubbing soothingly over your reddened skin. “Taking your punishment so well.”

He leans over you again, his lips brushing against your ear. “But we’re not done yet,” he whispers, his voice sending shivers down your spine. “I’m going to make sure you never forget this.”

With that, he draws back and gives another harsh slap, the impact of which causes you to squeal. The cadence of his spanking quickens, each slap sending waves of pleasure through your body. Your skin tingles with each hit, leading to a climax.

“Please, sir,” you beg, your voice trembling. “Please, I need to cum.”

He pauses, his hand resting on your ass. “You need to cum?” he repeats, his tone amused. “Just by my hand?”

“Yes, sir,” you reply, your body trembling with need. “Please, I’ve been a good girl, let me cum.”

He chuckles softly, his hand sliding between your thighs to feel your wetness. “You’re soaked,” he remarks, his fingers teasing your folds. “Such a needy little slut.”

His words send a jolt of arousal through you, and you whimper as he teases your entrance with his fingers. “Don’t you want my cock?” he asks, his voice low and seductive. “Don’t you want me to fuck you?” His words are condescending, knowing that with a few more slaps you’ll be clenching around nothing, yet, he can’t stand to see you cum and it not be around his delicious cock.

“Yes, sir,” you moan, your body aching for his touch, for his dick to be stuffed deep inside you. To be honest, you want anything he will give you. “Please, fuck me.”

Unbuckling his belt and letting his black trousers and boxers fall to his ankles, he positions himself behind you, the head of his cock pressing against your entrance. The anticipation is almost too much to bear, and you push back against him, desperate to feel him inside you.

“Patience,” he murmurs, his hands gripping your hips. “I want to take my time with you.”

Finally wet enough to snuggly enter you, the dildo sinks into your cunt as you imagine him sinking in slowly, the wave of pleasure as you stretch around the faux shaft enough to send your head back into a frenzy.

He pushes in slowly, the stretch of his cock filling you inch by inch. The sensation is overwhelming, the tip of his cock sliding past all of your sensitive spots, stimulating your nerves just the way you need him to. You feel every inch of him, the fullness making your body shiver with desire.

“God, you’re tight,” he groans, his hands gripping your hips harder. “You feel so fucking good.”

He begins to move, his thrusts slow and deliberate, each one sending waves of pleasure through your body. The friction of his cock against your inner walls is intoxicating, and you can’t help but moan his name, the sound mingling with the rhythm of his movements.

“Sunghoon,” you gasp, your back contorting to fit him deeper, head thrown back as he bucks his hips at a steady, agonising pace. “Please, fuck me harder.”

Scoffing, he slows down, giving you the opposite of what you are needily begging for. “You think you deserve to make demands?” Sunghoon asks, his hands roaming along your back, fingers untucking your shirt and crawling up to your bare back. You’re lucky he let the slip of his name out of your mouth rather than his preferred nickname.

In truth, you don’t, constantly fucking up in your job to the point that it has come to this, but by god will you never get a single thing right if it means receiving this pleasure. Yet, right now, you need to yield, appeasing his every word.

“I don’t deserve it, Sir,” you admit, trying to fuck onto his cock faster. “But please, I’ll be so good if you do.”

Laughing, his large hand snakes around your neck and pulls you back roughly, bringing your head to rest on his shoulder as he fucks into you agonisingly slow yet sharp. His warm breath washes over your cheek as he smirks menacingly. “You’re already being a good girl, so what else will you do?”

“I’ll do my job properly, I’ll make sure I never disappoint you.” It’s not even the slightest bit embarrassing as you try your hardest to fuck yourself onto his cock, squeezing for extra friction as you bargain with him. All you need right now is to be pounded mercilessly by the man you crave the most.

Satisfied with your response, he finally obliges, his thrusts becoming faster and more intense, the sound of skin slapping against skin filling the room. The pleasure builds with each movement, your body responding eagerly to his touch. You feel the tension coiling in your core, the edge of climax drawing closer with every thrust.

“Do you want to cum on your boss’ cock?” he asks mockingly, knowing your immediate answer. 

You struggle to give him an answer as his grip on your throat tightens, his digits pressing into your soft neck and cutting off your voicebox, yet somehow, you manage to squeak out a tiny ‘yes’, followed by a throat-ripping moan as he finds your sweet spot.

Suddenly, your phone rings as you move your dildo rapidly in and out of your squelching cunt, the toy now covered in your juices as both you and it work hard to reach that sweet release. Heaving heavily, you see the caller ID ring and your eyes widen, the name ‘Park Sunghoon’ flashing across your screen.

Idiotically, you answer, scared of the reprimand if you don’t, your boss never liking when you answer after more than three rings. Before you get the chance to speak, he is already blaring down the phone at you.

“Y/N, I need you to come in early tomorrow. There is a big meeting with Park Jongseong that we must prepare for,” he begins, tone borderline scolding but not so angry. “Someone forgot to put it in my diary.”

The subtle dig at you only heightens your feelings, the actual scolding you’re receiving meshing in beautifully with your fantasies. Your hand never stops the dildo from thrusting harshly into you, his actual voice much colder and deeper than the one you have in your mind, your body aching for each Sunghoon in its own way.

You stifle a moan but it still leaks through into the speaker, your climax imminent as your wrist quickens and legs spread, the muscles of your thighs and arms tightening with your actions.

“Cum for me, baby” he commands, his voice rough with desire. “I want to feel you cum around my cock.”

“Are you sick? Don’t come in tomorrow if you are, I have to fly to Japan on Thursday.” 

Each CEO blends into one another as you come undone, dropping the phone on your stomach and arching your back off the bed.

The words push you over the edge, and you cry out as the orgasm crashes over you, “Yes, Sir!” your body trembling with the force of it. You can feel your pussy clenching around his cock, the sensation driving him deeper into you. His thrusts become erratic, and with a final, deep thrust, he spills into you, filling you with his release. The hot spurts of his cum coat your battered walls so deliciously, soothing the rawness from the relentless beating.

The room is filled with the sounds of your heavy breathing, the aftermath of your climax leaving you both spent and satisfied. Sunghoon pulls out slowly, his hands gentle as they caress your skin. He helps you stand, his touch tender as he pulls you into his arms.

“You did so well,” he murmurs, his lips pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “Such a good girl.”

You pant heavily, forgetting for a moment exactly where you are and what you have done, the blurred line of delusion and reality becoming a haze as your eyes fight their way open, your high overcoming your body like a tidal wave

Clearing his throat with a deliberate rasp, Sunghoon's piercing gaze cuts through the haze clouding your senses, snapping you back to the stark reality of your surroundings. The weight of your actions descends upon you like a sudden storm, leaving you breathless and disoriented.

"Tomorrow at 6am, my office," he declares with a steely edge, each word measured and exact as he speaks with a smirk. The earlier rush of pleasure now dissipates into a cold knot of apprehension in your stomach. His voice carries a promise of consequences, leaving no doubt in your mind that he knows exactly what you’ve been doing.

"Do not keep me waiting," he continues, his tone low and ominous, "or you'll be punished.”

He hangs up abruptly, the chilling bleep of the disconnected call makes you swallow, realising that you have completely fucked up and have painted yourself guilty as sin.

perm taglist: @immortalvee @snoopypupp @sunpov @heeseungspookie @strawberrysavi @monstanctiny21 @diorsyun @heexzbae @pockettwinzz @yzzyhee @baekhyunstruly @zeeloveshee @haechonly @berryblog @emi-en @no-mannerism @jaehoonii @notevenheretbh1 @iikeustar @shawnyle @addictedtohobi @jiminie-08 @emberuby @nctislifue @lilyuwon @skzenhalove @heeshlove @idkdykilr @chocminteu @y4wnjunz @rikibun @ivesti @parksunghoonsgf @branchrkive @brownsugarbaybee @xxbluestrifexx @bambangan

[writinandcrying]

TMNT HEADCANONS - Taking naps with the turtles / having a sleepy S/O

As someone who has accidentally slept for 23 hours straight and literally has a nickname as “snooze” I’m obligated to do this (I tried to look for a cute / aesthetic gift but that pup is my spirit animal fr)

I’ve been digging how @oozedninjas does their Headcanons (as long with their writing, I seriously eat it up everytime yum yum yum)

as much as I love looooong Headcanons, sometimes I only have some blurbs going on in my mind, I also think this keeps things so dynamic, every interaction can be seen and everyone is happy yipee (I hope you don’t mind me using your writing style? Headcanon Set-up? Layout? as reference! Pls let me know if so, I’ll def take it out or reference you on new ones!)

English is not my first language and I didn’t proof read this, if there is any gramatical erros pls don’t hesitate to tell me!

• Isn’t the one for naps, lowkey thinks it’s a waste of time, he rather do activities with you! Time is precious! That being your hobbies or his, talking, playing games or reading, he has his mind set on it… until you flutter your lashes at him, giving him puppy eyes, and suddenly at the warm of your embrace, the way you hum over his plastron, how cute and serene you look… he starts questions himself, why haven’t you two done this sooner?

2003, 2012, Rottmnt Donnie

2003, MM Raph

2003, MM Mikey

All Leo’s (minus MM and rise) lmao

• Has been waiting for it. Since you two have been officially a thing, he has been patiently waiting for it. wants to do nap dates, casual napping after Sunday lunches, accidentally napping from watching a boring film, coming home late and you are tired? Lay on top of him babe, let him will take care of you 🫶🏼 adores the innocence of holding you close, caressing your skin as you caress him back, finally admiring your features while you sleep, he longs for it, absolutely eats it up

MM AND ROTTMNT LEO !!

2007, 2012, ROTTMNT, Bayverse Mikey (keeping bayverse and 2012 still would be A Task (but anyways BOTH WANTS IT) 2007 is probably tired all the time bc of his gigs lol)

Bayverse, ROTTMNT RAPH !!!!

2007 and 2003 Donnie

• How come you are always this sleepy? This doesn’t make sense, something has to be wrong with your vitamins levels, have you been sleeping at night? Are you having nightmares? What kind of meds are you taking? Your sleep schedule and how you can just simply fall asleep everywhere is astonishingly worrisome, he will look into it

Take a wild guess (all versions)

Doctor feelings

• HE is the who Needs a nap. Drag him to his bed. Hold him close, put ambient music, kiss him softly and don’t let go.

2007 Leo, Future!Rottmnt Leo

2003, 2007, Future!Rottmnt DONNIE !

Future!rottmnt and Last Ronin Mikey

Future!Rottmnt, bayverse, 2007 Raph

Everyone in IDW-TMNT

Not a turtle, but Rottmnt Casey Jones

• can’t take naps (light sleeper or doesn’t want to mess their sleeping schedule) but enjoys you being by his side anyways, will give a dirty look to whoever makes loud noises next to you, tries to always save the most comfortable spots for you on movie nights, he knows you are bound to fall asleep. will takes embarrassing pics of you tho

Take another wild guess (all versions)

And another one (all versions as well)

Mm Donnie

[snowyquokka]

HOME

jeongin x fem reader

cw: angst (😈), breakup, kissing, swearing, mutual pining, mentions of cheating, kinda toxic/asshole seungmin (FORGIVE ME), not proof read bc why tf would i do that (im too lazy so my apologies if some of it doesn’t make sense lmfao-)

wc: 3.1k

a.n - so this is not how it was originally supposed to be 😭 it started as a seungmin fic but spiraled into whatever monstrosity this is lmao. everyone thank @solisyeah for the request ily. anywho i hope it’s good <3

❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥

Seungmin furrows his brows as he inspects the photo on his screen. A photo of you with another guy, in his lap with your face nuzzled into the crook of his neck.

Just like you do with Seungmin.

On the very couch he’s sitting on.

At first he thought it was edited, because there’s no way you’d cheat on him, right? But as he took a closer look he just knew it was real.

He was tired, sore, and downright miserable from a rough day at the studio; he had to take way too many breaks for his liking and this picture was just the thing he needed to send him right off the deep end.

He shot up from his spot on the couch so fast it made his head spin, but that didn’t deter him from storming into your bedroom where you were sitting on the bed, aimlessly scrolling through your phone. Once you see his face you can automatically sense something’s wrong.

“Seung?” You tilt your head as you watch him take your apartment key off of his key ring before placing it on your dresser with a clink.

“Seungmin what are you doing?” You jump off of your bed as he slides his shoes on. He runs his fingers through his hair with a frustrated huff.

“I don’t- I think we just need a break. I need a break.” These words were the last thing you imagined to ever come out of his mouth, in this context especially. Or lack there of.

“Wha- why?” Your eyes glaze over with unshed tears that threaten to spill at any given moment. You don’t want to cry in front of him, you’ve always hated having your raw emotions on display like that, especially in such a powerless situation. “Seungmin, talk to me. What the fuck is going on?”

“Don’t play dumb with me. I’m not stupid.” Seungmin shakes his head “Did you really think you could hide it from me?”

“Hide what, Seungmin?”

“You should’ve just fucking left me. Spared my feelings, maybe. But I guess you’re just too selfish for that.”

Without another word he rushes out of the room, leaving you in shambles with nothing else to do but slide to the floor, curl into yourself and let the sobs take over your body.

Seungmin can hear you crying before he even walks out of the front door, causing his heart to clench in his chest and his gut to twist. Standing with his hand just brushing the door handle, he has to physically force himself to press on, to let you go, to accept his reality. The door slams shut behind him and the noise only pushes you further towards the realization that this is actually happening. You aren’t hallucinating, this isn’t some fucked up fever dream or an even more fucked up prank.

You just wish you knew why. No matter how much you try to put the pieces together, you’re always missing something. You can’t think of anything that could’ve set him off. Everything was perfectly normal less than an hour ago, yet all it took was five minutes to trigger the downward spiral of what feels like the end of the world- the end of your world.

-

“What’re you doing back here?” Jeongin slides next to Seungmin - who is still eyeing up the picture on his screen - on the floor. Jeongin nods towards the phone, “What’s that?”

Seungmin huffs and leans his head against the wall behind him, “I honestly don’t fucking know, I don’t even really want to know, actually.”

Jeongin reaches for the phone, pulling it out of Seungmin’s grasp. His lips part in a silent ‘oh’ as he inspects the photo. He’s assuming Seungmin hadn’t even given you a chance to explain solely based on his reaction, in typical Seungmin fashion. Jeongin turns his body to face the other, his face set in an almost disappointed expression.

“I’m going to say this with the utmost respect and I need you to not cause me any bodily harm-” Jeongin sighs before continuing, “You’re a dumbass. Like the dumbest dumbass I think I’ve ever seen. Like paboracha level dumbass. I’m talking-”

“Are you done?” Seungmin groans and squeezes his eyes shut.

“Are you done? God- you just fucked yourself over. If I were you I’d start praying that she’ll still take you back after all this crazy shit.”

“How did I fuck myself over when she’s the one cheating? Or am I supposed to just forget about that and take the blame for it all like usual? She brought another guy into the same place I spend almost all my time at, and probably fucked hi-” Jeongin slaps his hand over Seungmin’s mouth, effectively silencing him before he could carry on with his bullshit.

“Hyung. Shut up.” The maknae slowly pulls his hand away as Seungmin’s eyebrows shoot upward. “Look I get it, you’re tired, you’re upset, you’re angry bu-”

“Can you fucking blame me? I can’t unsee it. I mean, you see how comfortable she looked with him.” he clenches his fists.

“Will you keep your mouth closed already? You’re killing me here, got a massive migraine now.” Jeongin groans and rubs his temples as he speaks “That picture was taken over a year ago. Before you even knew she existed, hyung. Besides, I know her better than anyone ever will, other than you obviously, which is why I suggest that you get your ass up and go apologize for being such a dumb fuck. Beg for her forgiveness if you gotta. Maybe get on your knees while you’re at it.” he sighs and stands, holding his hand out to Seungmin before pulling him up.

“How do you know she isn’t lying to you? How do you know she isn’t lying about anything else?” Seungmin finally says.

“Because she loves you too much to do that to you. God, have you always been this dense? You seriously need to wake up and realize how stupid you sound.” Jeongin mocks, prompting Seungmin to glare at him one last time before walking out of the studio. All the while unbeknownst to the younger standing with a frown threatening to pull at the corners of his mouth.

“He’s a fucking idiot if he let’s her go over this,” he mutters begrudgingly while he listens to the soft pur of Seungmin’s car in the distance.

-

Almost a week later you’re still waking up with puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks. The first thing you notice is Seungmin’s apartment key still sitting on the dresser untouched. Well, it used to be his. You were really hoping that it was all just a shitty nightmare and that you’d still be tucked in his side with his soft snores being the only sound to fill the room even though it’s been days.

You realize what had stirred you awake as another knock fills the almost suffocating silence. You’re half tempted to just ignore it, but something in your gut tells you to answer it.

“Oh, uhm- hi Innie.” you wipe your eyes with the sleeve of your hoodie. Or Seungmins hoodie, rather.

God you need to pull yourself together. How could you not even realize what you were wearing. Fuck.

“Hey,” Jeongin rocks back on his heels somewhat awkwardly, “Can I come in?”

You nod and mumble a soft ‘of course‘ as you move out of the way for him to slip past the threshold and into your apartment while you take a moment to collect yourself, and to put on the most convincing smile you can possibly muster.

“What’s up?” you find a spot on the couch next to him as he scans the room for a second, looking for any signs of whether or not Seungmin actually showed.

“He’s not here, is he?” Jeongin turns to you with sympathetic eyes, finding your own longing for comfort, seemingly pleading him for some sort of consolation.

“N-no but he’ll probably be back so-”

“He’s not coming back, y/n. If he was, it would’ve been days ago.”

Before you can open your mouth to protest, Jeongin has you pulled into his strong chest and tucks your head under his chin gently. “It’s okay, baby. I got you.” he sighs, rubbing small and slow circles on your back just the way he knows you like. He places a small, chaste kiss on the top of your head because he’s learned over the years that the action relaxes you and makes you feel secure.

Jeongin knows you like the back of his hand. Sometimes he thinks he knows you better than he knows himself. He knows your favorite food, your favorite season, your favorite movie. He knows how much you love to read, having periodically skimmed your shelves for books you may have and promptly buying you ones that you haven’t already buried your nose in.

Most importantly, he knows exactly what to say in order to subside your bad moods (he’s well seasoned in this field), and that sometimes you say things you don’t mean yet he never - and will never - hold that against you.

He knows just how much you loved Seungmin, not even wanting to imagine the amount of absolute heartbreak you’re feeling. Despite all this, he can’t help but feel somewhat relieved. You and Seungmin undoubtedly wouldn’t have worked in the long run and that’s exactly what you desire and deserve: a stable, long term relationship where you’d be taken care of and treated like the absolute goddess that Jeongin thinks you are.

He just wishes you give him a chance to treat you like his- more so than he already does now.

“Thank you, In,” you mumble into his chest.

“You don’t need thank me, baby. You know I’m always here.”

You did know that, you’ve always known that. Jeongin doesn’t let you doubt how much he cares for you, he’ll spend every waking moment reminding you if he has to.

You pull back slightly to look into his eyes. “I always end up burdening you with my problems.” Jeongin’s eyes soften at your apology and all he wants to do is hug and kiss and cuddle you until he thinks he’s convinced you enough of his adoration.

But for now all he can do is settle for words, though he can’t help but think it won’t be enough.

“Baby, please don’t be sorry for that. What kind of best friend would I be if I never listened to your complaints or rants?” Calling himself your best friend took more out of him than it should have and he tries to hide his hesitation. Thankfully you hadn’t noticed.

Hearing Jeongin say this makes you realize that he’s treated you better than any boyfriend you’ve ever had. Seungmin never reassured you like Jeongin does. Actually, now that you think about it, Seungmin didn’t do half of the things Jeongin does, even if it was the bare minimum.

He’s always like this, but why does it feel different now?

That’s just his personality, right? There isn’t any hidden meaning behind his words or gestures. Or the way he’s holding you and speaking to you like you’re the most precious thing he’s ever had contact with. The sudden urge to reach out and cup his face is unreal. You just want to make sure you aren’t hallucinating. You wonder how you managed to find such a perfect person who thinks the world of you just as much as you do them. Someone who loves you just as deeply and truly as you do.

Wait what?

You’ve singlehandedly scared and confused yourself all at once now. Obviously you love him and he does you, but it feels as though you love him in a different way. A special way, one that you don’t think you’ve ever felt for anyone. Not even Seungmin, who you once thought was hands down your soulmate.

What you failed to realize, however, was that your soulmate has been here the whole time, and he’s holding you in his arms like he never wants to let you go.

You cut off your train of thought because he doesn’t want you like that and you’re making assumptions that could get you hurt.

Too late.

Another wave of sadness that has nothing to do with Seungmin washes over you.

“Baby? Hey, where’d you go?” Baby. Fucking baby. He’s got to stop calling you that. You want to tell him to stop, so why can’t you open your mouth and form those simple words.

“Mhm, ’m okay.” You can’t even bring yourself to put the tiniest bit of distance between your bodies.

You mentally scream at yourself for sounding so noticeably pathetic. He must think you are. How could he not when you’re making it so painfully obvious?

“Don’t hide from me, baby. You know you don’t need to hide anything from me.” How ironic.

“I’m not- I just-” you huff and lean your forehead against Jeongin’s chest. God, when did he get so…buff? Has he always been like this?

He pulls your head back to force your gaze to meet his. “What did I tell you, hm? Talk to me. I’m all ears.” His arms encircling your body is the last straw before the world comes crashing down on you.

Tears flood your vision and you aren’t even sure as to why you’re crying this time.

Pathetic and dramatic. Great.

Jeongin immediately thinks he’s overstepped now, he took it too far and made you uncomfortable. He removes his hands from you immediately though the action kills him inside, when in reality you want the exact opposite. You want him to pull you closer, you want your chest flush against his to the point where you can feel his heart beating.

“I’m sorry, Innie. I’m sorry.” You finally climb out of his grasp and step away from him. He follows you and with every step he takes forward you move backward until you collide with the wall.

“Why are you sorry when you didn’t do anything wrong? I don’t want you apologizing to me for no reason. If anyone should be apologizing it’s Seungmin, but it’s his fault and his loss, you know that.” You wish Jeongin would stop being so supportive, it’s making it ten times harder to ignore your surfacing issues.

“That’s not the problem, Jeongin.”

Since when did you call him by his full name?

“Then what is it? Is it me? Please I- I just want to help you.”

Your tears have finally halted and you couldn’t be more thankful. You need to be able to properly look into his eyes.

“You can’t help me.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do.”

“Why are you being so difficult all of a sudden?”

“I’m not.” You cross your arms over your chest.

Jeongin blows out a frustrated huff. “Why can’t you tell me? Is it because Seungmin and I are friends becau-”

“I love you.”

“I know you do, which exactly is why you should be talking to me right now instead of bottling it all up-”

“No, Jeongin. I love you. Not in a friend way, not in a platonic way. I want to kiss you and hold you and-” You’ve worked yourself up so much you have cut yourself off in order to calm down.

Jeongin’s mouth stays agape for a solid five seconds before he even processes what you’ve said. “You love me?”

“Is that not what I just said?” Jeongin has to bite back his smile at your remark but quickly frowns again at the expression on your face. You look regretful, like you wish you never spoke. You’re just waiting for his rejection, willing it to come faster so you he’ll leave and you can wallow in self pity by yourself in the comfort of your bed. You disturbed the peace that was your friendship.

“I- the breakup is still fresh and you aren’t thinking straight, baby. Don’t say things you don’t mean.” Jeongin pleads. Is he trying to convince you or himself?

“But I do mean it Jeongin. I really do and I can’t believe it took me this fucking long to figure it out and I wish I’d never caught feelings because this is just a shit show now.”

He goes to speak but you quickly interrupt him. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. Just forget about it,” you expect him to leave, or to at least move away. But he doesn’t, instead he leans in closer to your ear and whispers in a hushed tone,

“Didn’t I just tell you to stop apologizing, baby?” The way he says ‘baby’ sends shivers down your spine, it’s different than the other times he’s called you that. This time his words actually do have a hidden meaning. His breath ghosts the shell of your ear for a moment before he slowly pulls back to look at you. As if he hasn’t studied your every feature to the point where you’re engraved in his mind.

“You have to promise me that you actually understand what you’re saying and that it isn’t the post breakup neediness talking.” He looks at you sternly and fully expecting a response in words.

You, on the other hand, have absolutely no intention of speaking as you instead grab him by the collar of his hoodie before pressing your lips against his.

Kissing your best friend is much more intimate than you ever expected. He kisses you like it’s not the first time and with more than enough purpose. It starts off aggressive but soon simmers down into a delightfully slow and passionate rhythm and as cliche as it sounds, it’s in this moment that you finally know where you belong, where your home is.

No matter the circumstances, Jeongin always left a space for you in his heart. His subconscious wouldn’t let him fill it with someone else even if he wanted (which he didn’t), forever waiting for you to find the spot with your name written all over it and stay there for as long as you may live.

❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥

tags: @skzstarnet @godslino @myseungsunglove @seungseung-minmin @azuna-sz @chanyeolsrealwife

[imaginespazzi]

Nivi!! Two Monday updates in a row? Inspirational stuff, babes. I hope you're doing good! You spoil us way too much 🫶

Firstly, I super appreciate the addition of the months to the dates cause I was lowkey hoping for it. I get way too invested in the actual timeline so this was very much welcome haha.

I always love flashbacks to fetus (teenage) Pazzi, like even irl, that’s always the time period and their dynamics during that time that interests me the most so I absolutely adored this flashback scene!

Azzi sending an actual letter invite was so wholesome, would not be surprised if something similar actually happened irl. I know Paige spent a whole day just re-reading the “Yours, Azzi” at the end 😂

Ice cameo! I love getting these new special guests each chapter, makes it entertaining tryna figure out who’s gonna pop up next.

Stephie was already tearing up saying goodbye and they’d only properly known each other not even a month?? BRUH, this one-year contract is not gonna go down well AT ALL. #ProtectStephieatallcosts

Also, has Ice met Stephie? The way she talked to P about Stephie made it seem like she hasn’t yet or maybe I just read that wrong?

Yep, place that bet Icey, it’s gonna happen!

As soon as I read the “comes roaring back with a vengeance” and the name “Olivia”, I knew it was trouble (nothing against those with the name Olivia 😅), I felt it in my bones she was the ex-wife.

Look, she hasn’t done much wrong yet and P maybe did deserve some of it but I don’t like this Olivia. It’s just a matter of principle, you know.

Stephie facetiming P on her own cause she just missed her too damn much 🥺 This little family (they’re already a family in my mind okay) gives me so much life, and will probably be the death of me eventually.

Time zones would be a confusing af concept to kids, I never even thought about that lmao.

Not Paige thirsting over Azzi over the phone! There is a kid present, Miss Buecks!

Stephie’s fave colour being purple too, I mean I guess she’s been constantly around purple her whole life so it makes sense but imma choose to believe it’s a continued manifestation of that invisible string between Paige and Azzi. Also, I can just imagine Azzi’s reactions when she realises she’s basically raising a mini Paige too lol.

And the full circle moment of P skipping out on team events to stay on the phone with Azzi (and lil Azzi) – you never fail to deliver with these full circle moments babes, and the way you do it is just so organic, like it always flows and never feels forced and ugh YOUR MIND 🙌

What’s next?

Ice’s comment about teammates having to deal with Pazzi’s bullshit – that just made me even more desperate for those flashbacks to their UConn days, especially when it all starts breaking down.

Oh btw, does Azzi know it’s a one-year contract? Are contract terms reported on like they are irl or nah?

Also, just making sure I’ve got the timeline down pat – Paige and Olivia were together from 2027 to 2031? And I’m assuming Azzi had Stephie Jan 2028 or late 2027 since Stephie’s five in present day? So Stephie woulda been almost two when Paige first met her in that run-in with Tim?

I wonder if it was P that proposed to Olivia, and if it was, I’m curious to know the timing and if it was a knee-jerk reaction to Azzi having a baby??

What I really need to happen though is Paige’s dream coming true!

Stephie is just so real to me that even when Pazzi have kids irl, Stephie will always be the OG for me 😌

Also, the suggestion someone had the other day of Paige kid-proofing everything is on point. Like her first priority for her new place in Cali isn’t even gonna be furniture or anything, it’s just gonna be stacks and stacks of toys and lego sets and other kid stuff 😭

Lastly, you know I love me a little bit of the jealous trope 🤭 Could we potentially see like a really close friend of Azzi’s that also has a good relationship with Stephie bring out a little bit of jealous P??

Oh btw, are the lyrics from that Louis Tomlinson song?? Cause that really took me back lmao, I haven’t heard that in forever!

Favourite line/quote:

Paige realizes that her favorite thing about Azzi’s smile isn’t when her dimples show or when her eyes twinkle, it’s when it’s there because of Paige, when it’s there just for Paige.

P.S: This is non-fic related but while watching my fave sport (AFL) over the weekend, there were a couple players playing their first game back from an ACL injury and one of the guys was coming back only SEVEN months after tearing his ACL! And this sport is like one of the most physical sports I’ve ever watched so I couldn’t believe it. Anyway, it made me really hopeful for Azzi, cause I feel like she’s probably on track for a nine-month recovery and I’ve had reservations about that especially given it’s her second one, but seeing those guys coming back after an even shorter period of time and pulling up fine made me feel a lot better. I know the recovery is different for everyone, but if Azzi (and her rehab team) believe she’s ready to be cleared after nine months, then I have full trust in them and I can’t wait to see her back on the court 🥹

Alrighty, this got way too long 😬 I’ll catch you next time bestie, enjoy the rest of your week and if I don't pop by before then, happy Olympics to everyone! 💗

-🙋‍♀️

BABE!! Aren't you proud of me? Can't believe this is who I've been these last two times (just wait until that can't-write-for-three-weeks hits and all these other people realize who Nivi really is)

I probably had some logic for not having dates in the beginning but lmao yeah it makes a lot more sense to have them so I'm glad it's helpful

Paige still has that letter for sure, in a little treasure chest somewhere with everything else Azzi's given her

I'm stressing myself out adding so many characters ngl and I still haven't added the rest of the Valkyrie team so let's see how that goes

LMAO not the Olivia name slander (but no I get it like when I was thinking about the ex-wife the name Olivia just seemed fitting)

The difference in people's reaction to Zoe in the UCLA fic vs Olivia in this one is so funny to me

I think they're a family in their own minds to now...but is it sustainable?

BRO RIGHT? That part was inspired by a convo I had with a kid at work who was so confused about why their mom could only call their uncle who lives abroad at certain hours

Paige gonna thirst no matter what (but me too so she's not special)

Thank you lovie! Sometimes I'm a little worried the parallels do seem too intentional so this made me relieved that it doesn't feel forced.

I'm so excited to write UConn days fs!

Everyone knows that Paige is signed to the Valkyries for a year but the assumption is that it's like Stewie with the Libs last year, where yes it's a one-year contract but you're obviously gonna renew. Nobody, including Azzi, knows about the Liberty part of it because that's all technically hush-hush behind the scenes stuff

Stephie's born early 2028 , so she's probably like one and a half when Paige first meets her (I am going to fuck this timeline up at some point.

Babe you read my mind. Azzi has this really pretty international French teammate who Paige just might not end up liking too much.

YES it is a Louis Tomlinson song. I was listening to it the other day and I was like damn wait, lemme add!

I think Azzi's first one she came back 9 months later and this one was reported to be less severs so I am finger-crossed that if she still does the 9 month recovery anyways, she'll be absolutely stellar. Ugh I'm so excited to see my girl play, it's been too long.

[longhands-the-second]

Trimax volume 2:

Here’s some thought soup.

Turns out I was actually able to wait to read until this week lol. I’m glad I did. I have a feeling this is only going to get more depressing from here on and I’m gonna need the pacing for my mental health.

So just… everything about Wolfwood here. He’s already better realized than pretty much the entirety of 98, I think (<- biased). I said “what the Fuck” out loud several times during this volume which is always fun. I’m going to do a second read before posting this so I can keep my thoughts in better order.

1- It’s at this point I think that maybe I should check the tws for this manga lol. Did this bother me? Not really. Am I scared of the potential now? Yes. Yes I Am. (I see that damn hand gore warning for a late volume and I am Dreading that shit)

Vash just looks so… soft here? I want to squish his cheeks so bad. It’s the power of Loose Button Down at work. A good weapon to have in your arsenal.

I hate it when you can just. Tell he’s making a promise that the narrative won’t let him keep.

On a reread the end of this volume makes more sense. Are they all…? I hope the fuck not.

2- Legato is really just getting more animalistic. There’s something off about him/his survival instincts but it’s kind of impossible to tell Exactly what it is without reading that far ahead. (Speaking of how uh. Explicit is his backstory? Do I need to make myself a nice cup of tea for after I finish reading that volume???)

I really, really appreciate that the gung-ho guns aren’t as one note as I expected. I have to wonder what got them all here, individually?

I wonder what specifically Vash thinks about Wolfwood here, what he knows and what he doesn’t. Is he like, aware that he saw what happened with the moon? Vash isn’t stupid, so I’m sure the thought crossed his mind that Wolfwood could’ve been working with Knives, but he’s also dead fucking set on seeing the best in people. Stay tuned, I guess.

Calling Vash selfish… there’s something there. He does have a tendency to ignore what people want when it comes to this kind of thing- which, yeah, that’s fair when it comes to killing people, but it’s also kind of not his place. Thinking very hard about the other post i saw this week about the end of the last volume.

Another thought that comes to mind is the way Vash thinks he’d just be letting things happen (therefore had some responsibility) in a lot of situations despite it being entirely on someone else. He refuses to just let it be. It makes sense given what happened to Rem, but I still have. Thoughts. He makes me so fucking sad.

The way Vash just fucking shuts down when they threaten Lina. None of them deserve any of this it makes me feel gross and bad.

3- How did he forget about the arm gun. That shit is the most important thing to remember smh

Where’s that one post that’s like “world where guns exist and swords are useless except in the hands of this one guy”

Literally impossible to follow the action but the punchline lands ig lmao

4- god this hurts. He just wants people to live. He just wants to live.

I think a lot of what this is about is sunk-cost, like somebody else mentioned. Digging your heels in further even if you know you’re wrong. I see in the gung-ho guns, Knives especially, but also definitely Vash. I haven’t fully former my thoughts on Vash yet though, i have to see where he goes from here to really make any judgements

God fucking damn it wolfwood. I know it made sense but MAN.

I love how angry Vash is allowed to get in the manga. He can really be scary sometimes.

People can’t change their minds if they’re dead. I think that’s the easiest way to summarize it.

I love how fucked up they are <3

Vash isn’t naive. He’s smart and he’s got years of experience to back him up. I know this. This is proof of it. But damn sometimes he really is incomprehensible in a way that makes me need the reminder.

GORLS

Hitchhiking on nomansland stresses me out as a concept.

5- wolfwood is really gonna rip my heart out isn’t he

“Vash can’t drive” saga (you’d think he’d be good at it given his other skills. Exposure maybe? I doubt he has frequent access to that kind of thing.)

They’re both fucking exhausted and YET-

I need to start a counter of times when i stop to go “oh vash is so pretty in this panel” but it’d be well over half of these posts

THAT IS NOT ONE OF THOSE PANELS

God he’s just zombie-ing his way through this isn’t he

The fucking limp wristed gun is everything to me

The missile is eepy and neebies to sleeby

6- obsessed with this version of home aesthetically.

Vash really just wants to be left alone. Grumpy old man.

Seriously though im in love with this whole setup. It’s beautiful.

It feels kind of illegal to be here though. Like we’re revisiting something that should be long gone. How much is this like the ship he grew up on?

He goes from the breaking point to being so excited to see everybody he’s crying. This physically fucking hurts to read

7- FUCKIN LEAVE HIM ALONE. GIVE HIM A GOD DAMN BREAK.

Literally this chapter makes me sick to my stomach i hate it i hate it

(Side Note, I have some colorings in the works, but it’s gonna be a WHILE until I get them finished. Very excited to share when I do though, I’ve been absolutely losing my shit about the love the others I’ve done have been getting from y’all. I see ur tags and they make my goddamn day. Thank you.)

((Additional Side Note, I am SO fucking excited to get my hands on the wwvd bracelets I ordered lol. I won’t be able to actually wear them for a few weeks though. I had to send it to my parents address. smh my head, man.))

[obeymycok]

MC’s Demon Form - Satan

Just to be clear, MC can use all their forms. This is just the one that the brothers first saw MC in. If you haven’t read the setup for these headcanons, as well as the pact headcanons that explain what’s happening here, I strongly recommend you do so (they will be linked below) Otherwise, on with the reactions!

Taglist: @trashlord-007  @waldeinsamkeit600  @simpinginthecorner  @xxgenderenvyxx  @q-ueue

Pact Headcanons     Setup

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“MC!!!” Mammon shouted as he sprinted to the fallen beast followed closely by the rest of the brothers. Apparently, too close. Mammon stopped dead in his tracks, feet still sliding over the dirt as his brothers crashed into him at full force. They all got up ready to curse him out, but the sight in front of them quickly shut them up.

There you were, but you looked like..?

Satan...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lucifer

Overall, he’s shocked more than anything 

He’s understandably a little concerned about temper tantrums because of Satan, but he’s willing to be patient

Pretty much baby proofs your sharp tail because of how many cuts Satan got from his on his legs

Dad of 6 is preparing for another Satan lmao

Mammon

Oooo scary MC

He tries to act all cool but he’s so terrified of pissing you off and it very much shows

Please do not yell at him, he will cry and he’s trying his best

For real though, he wants to see you kick some ass

Leviathan

Scared boi 2.0

He will also cry if you yell at him, but also if you look at him the wrong way

Reassure his self conscious ass, maybe a head pat or 2 to make him all blushy

“This is just like that anime ‘My Human Friend And Pact Mate Takes On Different Forms To Fight Evil Monsters’ it’s so good we have to binge it now!”

Satan

Suck it Lucifer

Another very shocked one, I’d say his pride and worry are about even

His demon form is dangerous and you could get very hurt MC...however...

Oh my GOD let him spar with you he promises he’ll take it easy but this is his love language!

Also will keep you informed on how to care for the form,offering to help when he takes care of himself

Asmodeus

“Oh my, MC! I hope all that anger isn’t going to cause you wrinkles.”

45 is like my favorite brother duo, so Asmo is hyping you both tf UP because I said so

One of the brothers who first starts tending to your wounds or any scars you may have gotten fighting or getting used to your wrath form

He just loves you and Satan so much he’s too excited to contain himself!!💖💖

Beelzebub

One worried giant

I’ll say it again, even though you’re all tired of it lol Satan’s form is DANGEROUS and the last thing he wants is someone else he cares for getting hurt or worse

Hesitant on watching you fight, knowing there’s a chance for getting more bloodied

Gives you his snacks when he senses your anger rising🥺

Belphegor

At least it isn’t Lucifer

Really though, he probably thinks Satan is pretty cool considering the skill it takes to out-maneuver Lucifer

He’s worried as fuuuuuck, but Beel’s got it covered so he tries not to let it show too much he fails

He’s also very VERY VERY excited to see you go all-out rage mode on some monsters so please let him watch👉👈

[chippedaxe]

Hi, how are you? You literally write so well. Can i pls request Karl trying to get the female reader pregnant maybe? Like they were both talking about it and they say that they're reader and Karl literally just gets to work lmao also dom! Karl pls?

┌─────━┿──┿━─────┐

Title: Baby Making

Warnings: NSFW (Minors DNI), cursing, breeding, pregnancy mentions, no protection, sub reader, pet names?, hair pulling, praising, soft sex

Pronouns: She/her Afab

Synopsis: The reader gets bred by Karl Jacobs.

Word count: 1.5k

Note: I don’t know a lot about pregnancy tbh, I’ve never been pregnant before.

- idk if this story actually makes sense, I didn't proof read (or edit)

*I'm good ty for asking (and ty for the compliment) ! Altho i wrote this when my fingers were cold :(

└─────━┿──┿━─────┘

You sat across the room from your loving boyfriend, twiddling your thumbs together as you tried to think about what to say next. You had no idea how to bring this concept up with him, you felt as if he wouldn’t be ready and would shut you down and you were worried as fuck. Karl leaned back in his chair and sighed “I know something’s on your mind, you wanna spit it out baby?” he asked you with a hushed voice.

“Y- yes actually, I’ve been wanting to bring this up with you for some time now but uh.. I just could never find the right words..” you lowered your head and tried to figure it all out “Oh uh- this isn’t gonna be something bad is it? I promise I’ll be better- If this is about my reluctance towards my chores than I swear I’ll drop it!” he exclaimed “No- no!” you couldn’t help letting out a little laugh at his silliness.

“Karl darling, I love you so so much.. And I was thinking..” you glanced away from him. “You were thinking what, sweetheart?” Karl got up from his chair and walked over to you, grabbing your hands and forcing you to look him in the eyes “Oh don’t look at me like that Karl!” your face heated up and you pushed him away gently. “Like what?” he smiled at you and you smiled back, many thoughts rushing through your head as you knew exactly what you wanted.

“I want a family with you.” you had finally blurted it out, lost in Karl’s eyes as you stared back at him. “You want what?” Karl was taken back “I want a baby- is that too much? I can wait if you’re not ready..” you started to apologize “I didn’t mean to make you-” he stopped your talking by shutting you up with a kiss “Of course I want that! I’d love to have little me’s running around- I just never would’ve thought that you’d.. You know..” he blushed a bit.

“You never thought I’d what?” you teased “I never thought you’d actually bring it up! I thought the thought of pregnancy would terrify you!” Karl explained “It did at first but then I saw how happy other couples were with their children and I just knew that was what I wanted..” you reached out and cupped Karl’s face “You mean the family we saw yesterday at the supermarket? I thought the same thing..” Karl leaned in and kissed your face all over.

“No matter what gender our baby is- I want them to have a gender neutral name” Karl explained “Of course if you had a specific name in mind then I wouldn’t care but-” he shrugged “Anything is fine with me, I love you” you wrapped your arms around him and brought him into a tight hug. “So- we should get started then, huh?” Karl whispered in your ear, you didn’t have much time to process what he’d actually said until you replied with “Yeah- we should.”

Your clothes were torn off in a matter of seconds, underwear thrown somewhere on the floor and your bra nowhere to be seen. “Oh wow!” you gasped as Karl towered over you “This okay? You want me to go slower?” Karl asked you but you shook your head “I love this new energy in you!” you smiled up at him “yeah, you do?” he leaned down and placed a quick kiss on your lips. You leaned your head back onto the pillows and then smiled in delight as you watched Karl slip his shirt off, tossing it behind him and then working his way to getting his belt undone.

Karl unbuckled his belt and began to pull at it, keeping eye contact with you every moment as he got undressed. You lowered your eyes and watched him take off his belt, noticing a very noticeable bulge growing in his pants. Karl straddled your body, legs on either side of you as he began to kiss your body. He nipped and sucked on the soft parts of your skin, hands rubbing up your sides and groping your soft mounds of flesh.

You squirmed a bit, writhing in pleasure and pure bliss. Karl kissed down your neck, biting it gently every so often just to keep your attention. Karl’s hands groped your breasts, fingers pinching your soft nipples “ah..” you gasped. Karl licked them, leaving his warm saliva on your nipples and watching them harden as the air grew colder.

"Oh this is new.." you smiled "Gotta get used to this, hun" Karl winked back at you. Your hand flew to his head, fingers running through his brown locks, tugging a bit on accident when your fingers found a knot in his hair "ah-" Karl let out a soft moan. "Oh you like that, do you?" you grinned as you repeated your action and pulled his head back away from your chest.

Karl bit his lip as he stared at you, admiring your face and body with his eyes. "Oh you're so gorgeous, darling" he jumped on top of you and pressed his lips against yours, teeth grazing against your lip as he was desperate to get his tongue in your mouth "mm-calm down!" you gasped as his desperation. He had never been so hungry for you in his whole life.

Karl grabbed your hips, sliding his hands down to squeeze and grope at your thighs. His tongue glided around the inside of your mouth, the sensation making you groan and clench your thighs together. Karl slapped your leg at your reaction, causing you to jolt a bit and open them back up again. Karl pulled away for a moment "Keep them open, love" he told you before going back in for another kiss full of heat and passion.

Your hands found themselves sliding up Karl's chest and feeling his warm skin. You pulled your head off Karl to breathe, huffing and puffing while trying to catch your breath "Breathless already? But we've only just begun, Darling do you need a break?" Karl rubbed your back gently and looked you in the eyes.

"I'm fine, baby- just finding it hard to keep up with your fast pace!" you admitted "I can get a bit carried away- should I slow down?" he asked again "no way! And if you ask again then I'm gonna slap you!" you joked around "And what if I want you to?" he smirked. You met his smart remark with a slap, stunning him for a moment "oh you sure are strong, darling- I hope our child is as tough as you.." he leaned in.

"I hope they're as caring as you, my love" you caressed his cheek and nuzzled his face. Karl started to massage your thighs gently as you two longingly gazed at each other, his hand somehow finding its way between your legs and rubbing your clit gently. "mm.." you hummed in pleasure, feeling yourself melt away in his touch. "This feel good, hun?" Karl asked "very." you gave him a quick kiss.

You slid your legs open a little wider so Karl could slide in between them "Think you're ready for me, darling?" Karl asked "Always ready for you, my love.." you wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him again. You nipped at Karl's bottom lip in surprise as he suddenly thrust inside of you "Oh I'm so sorry, dear!" you apologized "Don't worry, just kiss it better" he smiled and kissed you again.

You kissed him a lot, you couldn't help it, his face was too adorable to be left unkissed! Karl's cock stretched against your walls, your vagina squeezing around him "ah- that feel's so good.." you grasped onto his shoulders and yelped when Karl suddenly pushed himself in deeper. His cock head was prodding deep inside of you, the sensation making you squirm "feel's weird- and good" you exclaimed.

"Where? Here?" he asked as he kept rubbing up against that certain spot, making you wiggle around on the bed "Darling. Stay still" Karl sighed and pinned you down. Your hands came off of Karl, now gripping onto the blankets to try and keep you from moving around too much.

"Love- I think I'm gonna cum. Are you ready for this?" Karl placed a hand over yours, looking deep into your eyes "Y-yes- I'm ready!" you nodded your head. Karl burst his load inside of you, his hot seed coating the inside of your vagina and leaking out a bit down your legs "oops- looks like we're gonna have to fill you up again, what do you say?" Karl smiled sweetly. You groaned and leaned back on the bed "Round 2 it is." you replied as you got comfortable, you were gonna be here a while.

[ethanesimp]

SWEETHEART // D.D. - INTERACTIVE (BEGINNING)

Pairing: Damiano David x Fem! Reader

Word Count: 1.1k

Summary: What started as an afternoot out shopping turns chaotic after it starts raining.  

Warnings: Fluff, smut written by a minor, swearing, unprotected sex (pls use protection <3) and yes you read it right, this is an interactive fic lmao (sorta?). You get to pick out the ending (this is a little experiment and if you like it maybe I can make more idk, I also hope this doesn’t suck)

A/N: Huge thanks to these beautiful people @slytherin--aesthetics​ @perfectlyunbiasedobservation​ for proof-reading and giving some of the best dialogue ideas. You’re both angels <3 Also if you guys wanna you can listen to Heartbreaker by Bee Gees because that’s what I listened to on repeat whule writing this lol.

Masterlist // Taglist link in bio

Taglist: @gretavanfleetlove @superchrystaldrug @reputationdamiano @ethaneskin @dont-let-me-drown-in-you @bidet-and-legolas @selenophiliaxx @tabi-toast @geklutst-ei @juststalking @ohtorchio @ethan-torchio-angelo @everythingisdefinitelynotfine @its-afucking-mess @goldenpeaxh @marriedwithmarktuan​ @vicsangel​ 

“I thought I told you to grab the umbrella before we left.” 

Those were the words that left Damiano’s lips as he stood next to you underneath the small roof of the store that was stopping the two of you from getting wet with rain water.

You’d been out for most of the day doing shopping for things you needed for your apartment, but at the end of the day, you hadn’t found anything you needed. You’d gotten caught up in a clothing area after you’d jokingly dared him to try and walk around the place in the highest heels you could find. At that point, you were bored beyond imagination so he jumped at the chance to do something remotely fun and entertaining.

By the time you were ready to leave, it had started pouring heavily. You were both stupid and had deemed it unnecessary to take the car since the store was only a few minutes away and you weren’t planning on buying things you couldn’t carry in your hands. 

On top of that, however, you’d both forgotten to grab the umbrella on the way out. So there you were, squished together with your backs to the wall underneath the tiny roof as you meditated on what to do next.

“No, I told you to get it because I was looking for my shoes,” You shouted over the rain. “It doesn’t matter either way. The issue is we have no umbrella.”

You shivered when the cold wind hit you once again. You were wearing a hoodie and a pair of jeans, but it still wasn’t enough to protect you from the chilly wind. Damiano noticed as you tried to hide yourself deeper into your hoodie. He wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you into his body so your back was pressed against his chest. 

Damiano slid your hands into the pockets of your hoodie and placed his over yours in an attempt to warm them. He rested his head against yours as he did so and softly hummed quietly, deep in thought.

“I mean, we could make a run for it,” He suggested. “Realistically, it isn’t that far away. Maybe once the rain settles down a bit we can just go and shower once we get back home.”

“Or we could just make a run for it, right now,” You shrugged and felt his chest vibrate as he chuckled at the suggestion, “Amore, you’re already freezing and you want to walk all the way home when it’s raining like this?”

You shrugged and turned to look at him, wrapping your arms around his waist and resting your head on his shoulder, “I mean, we’ve been standing here for a while and it’s way easier to get a cold with this wind if we wait for it to stop raining so aggressively instead of just… you know? I know that makes no sense, but the sooner the better, right?”

Damiano sighed and removed the jacket he was wearing over his hoodie because, unlike you, he’d come prepared after seeing how cold it’d been the past few days. He draped it over your shoulders and grabbed your hand in his, “Let’s go then.”

A surprised yelp fell from your lips when he started running and pulled you along. You laughed in surprise as you felt the raindrops fall on your hair as you rain behind your boyfriend. He was laughing too as he ignored people’s stares and kept moving. You both felt like little children as you ran and purposefully stepped on all the puddles you encountered on the way home. 

He stopped after a few minutes, once you were standing right outside of the apartment complex, so you could both catch your breath. In that short time span, rain started falling less and you’d both warmed yourselves up after those few minutes of running. 

Damiano grabbed your hand in his once more. You thought he was about to start walking up the stairs so you could get into the warmth and safety of your apartment, but instead, he slowly pulled you close and let his other hand rest on your hip, “What the hell are you doing?” You chuckled as he started swaying the two of you side to side. He hushed you with a quick kiss and started singing quietly, barely loud enough for you to hear.

“My love is stronger than the universe,” He sang and twirled you around. Almost as if it were magic, you seemed to forget about everything else, the rain, the cold, and just let yourself enjoy the moment with your lover, “My soul is cryin' for you and cannot be reversed.”

“You’re such a sap, Damià,” You said, but he ignored it and kept singing as he twirled the two of you around, “C’mon now, let’s go inside and we can keep dancing over there.”

He reluctantly agreed and pulled away to search for the key to your apartment as you rushed into the elevator, not in the mood to use the stairs.

You walked into the apartment, both of you a cold yet giggling mess. Your clothes were dripping water all over the entrance, but neither seemed to mind as you pulled him into a kiss. You ran your hands through his wet and tangled hair as you giggled into the kiss, which made him start laughing so hard you had to pull away.

A bright smile illuminated your face at the sound. You were convinced there wasn’t a more beautiful sound than him laughing. It had always filled you with so much joy to see a smile on his face and hear a laugh escape from his lips. Those were two of the things you found yourself missing the most while he was away on tour or you had to leave on work trips. 

You dropped the keys on a bowl you kept by the entrance and turned to look at him, "So, do you want to shower first or should I?"

Damiano smirked teasingly as he walked close to you and his hands started massaging your shoulders, "I'm not sure there's enough warm water for the both of us to take a shower," He whispered and slowly kissed down your neck and pulled at the neck of your hoodie to press kisses to your collarbone.

You smiled, he looked up at you  and you placed a sweet kiss on his forehead, "Is that so?" He nodded, "Seems like we have to share, huh?"

"Really? How unfortunate," You giggled before he lifted you up bridal style and carried you all the way to your bathroom.

Option A: You have sex in the shower. 

Option B: You have sex in the bathtub.

[write-ur-wrongs]

Be Your Man

A/N: I know I say it every time, but seriously, thank you SO MUCH for your requests, anon or otherwise. It means the world to me that you trust me with your visions. Here’s a requested fic inspired by the song “Be Your Man” by Rhys Lewis! It’s angsty and has the slightest hint of smut if you look really hard. As always, there are no physical descriptions of the reader! I hope you like it - I cried at the end lmao. 

It’s not proof-read so I apologize in advance!! I really hope you like it. 

_______________________________________________________

Being with the bard was, in a word, comfortable.

His connections ensured you always had a soft bed in a warm inn waiting for you at the end of the day. His reputation and acclaim afforded you a higher status among villagers, scholars, and even knights. Everyone loved his music and adored his visits. With him, you were always welcome.

With him, every day was a gift and every evening a celebration. With him, you never found yourself in harm’s way. Never felt the gnawing pull of hunger or the ache of thirst. He never left your side and you had no reason to leave his. And he loved you, he really did. He showed you everyday, through his songs, his words, his touch.

You were his sun and you were, for lack of a kinder word, comfortable.

That isn’t something you were used to, being comfortable. Your life had been tumultuous from the start and you had hardened yourself accordingly. Everything you had you’d earned as a journeying blacksmith; working whatever you could to make a sale. Now though, having access to any workshop, material, or tradesman the continent could offer, you were at the height of your craft.

But still, nothing could ever compare to the blade you forged for Geralt.

It was stunning, perfectly balanced, crafted from your best steel and iron Geralt had been gifted from the mines of Mahakam. The ornate curve of the hilt took you days to perfect and the faceted garnet you’d set within the pommel shone brilliantly with a clarity that royal houses across the continent would envy.

“It’s exceptional,” he murmured, completely in awe, while examining your work, “how you manage to make your blades look so intricate without sacrificing quality, I’ll never understand.”

You bit your smile to keep yourself from gushing as you watched him wield the sword as if it was an extension of him. And it should be, as you crafted it with him in mind.

“Whoever buys this will be one lucky bastard,” he said as he came out of a mock-parry and pirouette.

“Oh, I’m not selling it!” you said, shaking your head at him as he sheathed the weapon.

“What? Y/N this could get you four maybe five hundred Novigrad crowns! Did someone commission you for it?”

“No, no, it’s a gift.”

“Y/N you are far too generous.” He admonished, attempting to hand the sword back to you.

“Hush, it’s for you.” You say, laying your hands over his, your eyes sparkling.

Gods the way he looked at you then. The way his face softened when you laid your hands over his, how his breath hitched when you took a step towards him. Your bodies so close, eyes flitting from his hooded lids to his lips, and when you finally –

“We’re just about there, darling!” Jaskier sang, pulling you out of your reverie just as the familiar ache began pulling at your lower belly.

“Ah! Y-yes! Wonderful!”

“Well look at you, you’re blushing! Are you remembering the last time we were here?” He teased flirtatiously, giving your thigh a squeeze.

“Mm you know me well,” you lied, quickly taking his hand in yours to get it off your thigh. “How much farther, would you say? I’m starving.”

“Not too long, darling.” He said softly, glad that you were watching the forest with rapt attention, and praying the sting of your deflection wouldn’t be too obvious should you turn to meet his eyes. You didn’t turn to look at him though, and that filled the bard with both relief and immense sadness.

Jaskier wasn’t a fool, he recognized your guilt, sensed the way your heart longed for another. But every now and then, when it was just the two of you, he was sure he saw joy in your eyes. You loved him, maybe not quite as he loved you, but he was certain you loved him.

She just loves him more. He smiled at you sadly, rubbing his thumb along the back of your hand in silent resignation.

**

“God, I fucking love these beds!” you sighed blissfully, rolling onto your back. The pair of you had meant to get your room and then head out into the village to find work but you hadn’t been able to ignore the fire the earlier memories had ignited.

“Careful my sweet, or I’ll start to think you’re only with me for the fine accommodations.” Jaskier chanced, hoping you’d finally say the three words he so desperately wanted to hear you say, and see that you meant it.

“Ha! Shut up, Jask.” You laughed lightly, snuggling into his arms where you couldn’t catch the disappointment in his eyes, and where he couldn’t see the sadness in yours. Don’t go there, Y/N, you thought, Jask is Jask, and he loves you just fine.  

“Why don’t you let me,” you whisper, peppering his neck and jaw with kisses between words, desperate to get your mind off your witcher, “show you how much I love you?”

“Aa-euhm…” Jaskier let out a breathless squeal as your hand creeped between his thighs and he let himself be lost in your touch. Maybe, he thought, good enough could be enough.

**

You’d given up on the idea to go out to find work long before the sun had set on the village, but that surely didn’t keep work from finding you. The pair of you had barely settled yourselves at the table when you were recognized and showered in contracts.

“Please, madam, I know it’s not the priceless blades you normally work with, but my pots and pans are in desperate need to be replaced –”

“Of course, miss Eldridge,” you interrupted the inn’s owner gently, placing a light hand over hers to calm her nerves, “it would be a pleasure to help you. I’ve recently been working with new casting molds, and it would be an honour to sell you my first.”

“Oh, my! Thank you, Y/N, thank you!”

“No, thank you – this stew is easily the best we’ve ever had! It would be a crime if you weren’t able to keep serving.”

“Oh, you’re too kind!” she laughed humbly, giving your arm a squeeze in thanks before walking back to the kitchen.

You were beaming as you watched the woman practically skip back behind the heavy wooden door.

“What? Why are you staring?” you asked Jaskier, bringing your beer up for a long sip.

“I love watching you work; you shine like the stars on a winter’s night.” He said, reaching over to hold your hand in his.

“Ugh, Jask,” you groaned, wrinkling your nose at his poetics. “You’re such a cheeseball,” you teased him lightly, as you’d done many times before, but this time something flashed in his eyes.

“Hey! I know you were never showered in compliments when you were with Geralt, but-”

“What?!” you interrupted, practically spitting out your last sip.

Jaskier merely leaned back in his seat and gave you a one-shouldered shrug. You could tell he was trying to be aloof but in the six months you’d been together, the topic of Geralt had been a like a landmine. Someone always got hurt, actually, you both ended up hurt.

“What do you mean, ‘what’? I’m not wrong here, love.”

“Look, I didn’t mean to hurt you, Jask. It was a beautiful sentiment, really! I’m just – y-you know how I am with this kind of stuff.”

“I know, dear” he said quietly, keeping his eyes on his drink.

“I adore your work,” you added, your nerves heightened by his apparent sense of calm, “I’m just not… always comfortable being the subject.”

“My expressions of love make you uncomfortable now?” he scoffed, looking up at you with big, sad eyes.

“No! No, Jask. T-that’s not what I meant!” you put your drink down and scooted closer to him to take both his hands in yours. “Jaskier, please… I love you. This is how I love, it-it’s who I am, it’s how I am. Please, I’m sorry. I’ll be your star.”

Jaskier only shook his head slowly as he looked into your eyes. “I’ve seen you in love, Y/N. I believe you love me,” he said, giving your hands a squeeze, “but you’re not in love with me.”

“That isn’t true, Jask.” You whispered, blinking back heavy tears. You held his hands so tightly now, as if afraid he’d just disappear into thin air before you.

“It is though, and that’s okay.”

“Jaskier…”

“You know, you always use my name,” he said, nodding slightly as he thought, “not always my full name, but alas.”

You opened your mouth to disagree but couldn’t bring yourself to use a pet name, and so your mouth opened and closed silently like a fish. The bard looked at you knowingly with his large, knowing eyes, full of love but still heavy with sadness.

“Jaskier,” you finally conceded, feeling yourself crumble under his heavy gaze, “what’s happening?” you asked, your voice coming out of you like a strangled whisper.

“What do you want to happen?”

“I can’t lose you too.”

“‘Too’.” He repeated flatly.

You wanted to comfort him, to correct him, but nothing was coming to you. He wasn’t wrong, and you couldn’t bring yourself to lie to him now.

“Why are we doing this now, Jask? I thought we were doing okay. I thought we were happy,” you finally managed to ask, your voice shaky.

“Look, I’m,” he tried, his own voice breaking despite himself, “I know I can’t compare with him.” He waited a beat to see if you’d interrupt him with a correction and when you didn’t, he rested his elbows on the table and leaned closer to you and took a deep breath before continuing.

“I know how you feel. How you’ve… been feeling. Y/N, Geralt is here. He walked in not long ago, and he’s sitting at the back the of bar.”

Everything went blurry. You could tell he was still talking to you it was like your ears were stuffed with cotton – everything was muffled but too loud. You were going to pass out. Or throw up. Or both. Every inch of you was screaming to turn around and look for him, but you were frozen in place like a deer who’d spotted the archer and heard the bow snap but just stood stock-still and let the arrow hit.

“Y/N,” Jaskier pulled your hands closer to him, pulling you back to reality along with them, “I made the decision that I’m okay being your second choice,” he swallowed thickly before continuing, “but now I need you to make a choice.”

You felt as though you’d just been struck. He was looking at you with too much kindness, too much understanding, too much compassion. Holding his gaze made you feel as though a knife was being twisted into your chest, but you were so afraid that if you looked away, he’d leave you.

“My dove,” he says softly as if reading your mind, “I love you and no matter what you chose I’ll be there for you, always. I just want you to be truly happy.”  

You squeezed your eyes shut to keep more tears from falling, but upon feeling him get up to leave the table, your eyes shot open and you let the tears fall.

Very softy, Jaskier cradled your face in his hand and gave your forehead a lingering kiss before pulling away.

“I’m going to head upstairs… I’ll see you up there?” he whispered hopefully.

You nodded up at him wordlessly and let the tears fall as you watched him head up the stairs.

Left alone, you wrapped your arms around yourself and bit your cheek until you tasted blood to keep yourself from openly sobbing. The bustle of the inn allowed you some sense of privacy, which you appreciated, but it also exacerbated your loneliness. Letting out a shaky breath, you poured the rest of your drink into your mouth and swished it around to wash away the blood before swallowing.

Jaskier knew. All these months you thought you were the only one hurting, the only one who felt the weight of the witcher’s memory, but you were wrong. Gods were you ever wrong.

You felt terrible, and far too sober. You quickly swiped at your tear-soaked face, picked up your empty stein and turned to make your way to the bar.

But then you saw him.

He was alone, as always, wearing the thick wool cape you loved. The hood wasn’t up so you could see that his snow-white hair was a mess of knots. His eyes were fixed on his drink, so you were saved from meeting his gaze. Gods, you’ve missed him, and fuck he looked good. And tired. Your heart broke at the sight of him.

Then he looked up at you and your breath caught in your throat. His rich, golden eyes were looking straight at you… and they were vacant. He was looking through you, not at you; he didn’t remember you or care to, and your already broken heart shattered once more.

I am nothing to him, you thought somberly, exchanging your empty mug for a full one. You took a deep, shaky breath and downed your beer in one go, slamming the stein back down decisively. But I’m everything to him, maybe that will be enough.

Before heading up the stairs to where you knew the bard was waiting, you allowed yourself one last look at Geralt, only to find he wasn’t at his table anymore. Seems the fates had decided for you, your thought, letting a hollow laugh escape your lips.

The staircase wasn’t especially long, but the trip up felt unending. You took every step slowly, allowing yourself these brief moments of grief over the official loss of your witcher before you committed yourself fully to Jaskier. No more daydreams, no more longing, no more imagining his large, strong arms around you while the bard’s sinewy frame enveloped you.

You had just about convinced yourself that you’d made the right decision when you spotted him, leaning against the wall at the top of the stairs.

“G-Geralt,” you breathed, feeling yourself smile despite yourself.

“Y/N.”

“What, um, how – uh, hi,” you stuttered, needing to look up at the ceiling to keep yourself from completely melting under the burn of his gaze.

“Hm,” he hummed, taking a hesitant step towards you, “still the wordsmith I see.”

“Hilarious,” you retorted, falling effortlessly back into your habits. “I’m happy to see you’ve still got my blade,” you said, nodding to the sword behind his back.

“Of course,” he breathed, now dangerously close to you. “I take you with me everywhere.”

“You mean my blade?” you scoffed with a roll of your eyes.

“No.” he said, his eyes boring into you, sparking the flame you’d spent so long trying to tamp out. “Are you here with him?” he asked with a tilt of his head.

“You know I am.” You replied defensively, irrationally angry to hear him bring up the bard.

“How is he?”

“He’s fine,” you spat, but seeing the way Geralt’s eyes softened knowingly at you, you couldn’t help but to backpedal your aggression. “He’s Jaskier, you know? All silver linings and sunshine.”

“I’m sure,” he murmured, casting his eyes downward as he remembered his friend’s almost insufferable positively. “And you? Are you happy?”

“Geralt…” you practically groaned, crossing your arms to keep the heat radiating off of him from taking over you.

“Are you?” he insisted, reaching over to let his warm, calloused fingers ghost over your forearm. The feeling lit your body on fire and left an obvious layer of goosebumps in their wake.

He was standing so close to you know, you could smell the leather, cedar, and smoke emanating off of him, just like it always had. You could feel his breath on your face. Despite yourself, you looked up at him through your lashes. His proximity was intoxicating, inexplicably comforting.

“This is cruel… you’re being cruel…” you whispered, wiping stubborn tears away but not taking a step in any direction, unable to risk his leaving if you were to move.

“Y/N…”

“He loves me, Geralt, so much.” You insisted, almost like a mantra.

“But are you happy?” Now he was whispering. He sounded sad, his deep gravelly voice melting over you like sunlight after a frozen night.

“Geralt –” you warned, shaking your head.

“Answer me.”

“No. I-I’m not.”

“You’re not going to answer me?”

“I’m not happy.” You conceded, the truth of the statement washing over you as you heard yourself say it.

“Me either.”

You looked up at Geralt then, letting yourself take in the sight of him in full; his eyes, big and sad and fierce as ever, his brows furrowed, creating that deep crease you so desperately wanted to reach up and soothe, his mouth, his lips. You were barely inches from each other now, all you had to do was tip your chin, stand a little straighter…

He closed the gap between you then, his lips crashing into yours hungrily. You fully surrendered yourself to him, reveling in the feeling of his body against yours and you let yourself be happy, insanely, deliriously happy, for the first time in months.

***

Jaskier sat on the edge of the bed, his head in both hands, and sobbed. His broken breath echoed around the empty room, sporadically drowning out the sound of his best friend kissing the love of his life on the other side of the door.

She was never mine, he thought as sobs broke through him.

She was never mine.

[theyarebothgunshot]

jib 6 breakdown and analysis

standard disclaimer: i am not gonna be linking to every single thing i talk about, but i will try my best to link to the moments that stand out to me the most. i have read long posts about this panel before, so not everything in this post is gonna be original or said for the first time ever, simply because there is a good chance that information has stuck in my mind and has subconsciously formed my view of this panel. this is also in no way, shape or form gonna be coherent, unfortunately. i’m just gonna hope that the cockles hivemind will be able to make sense of this regardless. love and light. and lastly, this is all in good fun, so don’t come at me if you think this is too out there please and thank you.

if i would have to give this panel a signifier, i would say this is the panel of the inside jokes. it’s the panel that shows us how well they know each other, to the point that they finish each other’s sentences and start telling the same punchline to a joke at the same time. 

but besides all of that, it was also the panel of the shoulder touches, husband behavior, and rescuer misha. let’s dive into it.

-

i adore the fact that they are laughing and joking with each other from the first second they get on stage. the way that they tell that story about how they planned to have misha nap and have jensen drink whisky and humm, really reminds me of something that i mentioned a lot during my jib 7 analysis: they are very much in sync.

jensen slinging his arm around misha of course had to be compensated with a manly face and manly grip. the rituals… i know they are intricate.

it’s kind of cute how misha tried to both encourage jensen to try that step, and wanted to make sure he wouldn’t hurt himself lmao. dare i say husband behavior? (i do dare and i will do it again, bam bam!) 

something about the way they talk about j*red just makes me feel like they are such a team, if that makes sense? like, they both think the same things about j*red’s antics and talk in such a united way about it (“and jensen and i were like…” “i don’t even care. he [points at misha] doesn’t care.”) that it just sounds kind of coupley to me. *whispers* husband behavior.

i love that jensen’s first instinct after talking about missing j*red was to go over to misha, put his hand on his shoulder, and talk about his fucking flirting way of pranking misha versus j*red’s painful pranking of misha. “with you it’s like my friend and protector is....” i truly wish the audience wasn’t as loud as they were in that moment because i would love to fully hear that sentence. 

the look on jensen’s face when misha says “save it for when we take off our pants” is just priceless. ‘oh god here we go again, when will he ever learn’ but the funny thing is, he will make the same face later on in the panel, after talking about riding a dragon. that’s the face he makes when one of them goes slightly too far. just thought that was interesting.

what stands out to me the most is his reaction when misha turns around just as he is ‘fake unbuttoning’ his pants like: ‘i’m just kidding i’m innocent’ literally no reason to respond like that if misha is just his buddy.

misha’s “what are you doing?” as jensen is tying his flannel around his waist also stands out to me. he clearly does not like the look and can’t keep his mouth shut (“that was bothering me too”). why would you find the need to comment on your buddy’s fashion choice. (....husband behavior.)

just wanna take a moment to say that it’s very fucking funny that jensen said “don’t take selfies” when you know that just a few years later he would take the chest to chest selfie with misha. oh, jensen. 

we have all heard the “jensen pranks misha on set by flirting with him” story countless of times, but it’s still funny to me how flustered misha seems to get by the fact that jensen can get to him that easily. and jensen’s laugh here is so cute, he fully knows what he is doing. 

misha jokes that he spends more time sunning on rocks now as a merman than he used to, and jensen immediately starts to walk to the apple juice, something i have noticed that he does whenever he wants to avoid something (be it a question or a situation that’s happening on stage). it almost feels like he is stopping himself from making a comment or something. it’s interesting, because he just turns right back around and starts telling the grasshopper joke without getting anything to drink.

which leads to one of my favorite moments between them: misha, beaming, says that he has heard it before but he wants to hear it again, and mouths the words to the punchline along with jensen. he looks at the audience as if to say ‘good one, right?’ and when jensen goes “is this thing on?” misha immediately tries to distract him from his failed joke by using an inside joke (the first inside joke of the panel) with him. aka good husband behavior.

something tells me that “i’ll see you again, grasshopper” is another inside joke, so we’re counting it: number two. 

jensen. jensen pspsps come here. can you please explain to me why you are so horny for misha’s indianrussian accent? i cannot believe him (i can), trying to get him to use the accent to ‘help the girl in the audience’. 

so uhm. i think i just heard something while i was rewatching this panel that i never caught before. when misha reads what is on the box that was put on stage, he says: ‘please take this box and open later in private - daniella.’ and jensen goes: ‘yeah that’s from me’ with a flirty Look on his face like. hello??? why have i never seen anybody talk about this??? i’m??? internally screaming??? rest assured i had to take 5 when i saw this shit. 

can we take a second to appreciate the fact that jensen gave misha a once over when misha says the glitter is everywhere, and then jensen said “fairy herpes”. why did your mind go to a sexual reference jensen? why? (we know why).

“i hate when you get that look in your eyes. don’t! i’m sorry!” is one of the most coupley things to say, ever. just wanted to point that out. 

i love the playful vibe they have during this portion of the panel: jensen asking misha what he will do for the audience (thinly veiled excuse for wanting misha to do something that jensen will also enjoy), throwing the rings at misha, both of them “panicking” and lapping up the spilled apple juice.

look, i couldn’t not include the shirt lift. i had to. especially because of the way he looks at misha afterwards lmao and misha, darling misha, tries to defuse the situation by making a joke and it works because of course jensen does his signature unicorn laugh. sidenote: how cute is jackles when he grabs the guitar, begging people to erase the picture jsfhs. gotta love that man.

“you done messed up” inside joke number 3.

you know what is funny to me? the fact that jensen and misha often pretend not to know certain things about each other when they are on stage together. one example of this is during the underbear debacle, when jensen asks misha to proof he wears orange underwear and pretends he is shocked, even though the whole world knows that misha wears orange underwear. 

in this panel, it happens twice. the first time is here, when misha asks jensen ‘do you actually not smell?’ as if he isn’t one of the people in this world who would know that best. and then he, of course, immediately takes this opportunity to sniff jensen’s armpit. i mean. okay. which is extra funny because jackles doesn’t play along with the whole ‘i have no clue’ bit and just goes “yeah you’re not a stinker” without checking because, clearly, he already knows. 

i love jensen’s little smirk when he hears misha’s dragon would be pink + misha’s reaction to it.

before i read this post i always thought jensen meant that his own dragon would be salmon colored. but now i think that it’s not far fetched to believe jensen was actually thinking about the fact that he has stated he was wearing a salmon shirt. which means that, in this moment right here, he was implying that instead of pink, misha’s dragon (aka jensen) would be salmon. which makes his reaction (looking down, laughing but shaking his head as if he can’t believe himself) very understandable. remember what i said about that being the face he makes when one of them takes it too far? yeah.

but then, something happens that is quite remarkable to me. instead of backing down from what he said, he fully commits to it. he turns to misha, and goes “if i could ride a dragon”. listen to the way he puts extra weight behind “ride” and “dragon”. 

then he asks if he understands the question correctly and repeats “what would it look like?”, the girl in the audience says “yes, but also any special abilities…” but jensen just ignores that because obviously, in his head the dragon is misha and he is not gonna shake that thought process any time soon. so naturally, he goes “i think my dragon that i would want to…” but stops JUST before saying “ride”, the guy KNEW what he was sounding like. lmao jensen i gotta give it to you buddy, good effort. you did well. you came far. you even said “look, i’m just gonna go for it here” even though misha’s face speaks volumes. i love you for that. because everything that came out of your mouth right then sounded very not straight.

in fact, it’s only because of misha’s interference (a reoccurring thing during these panels) that he stops himself completely and goes to talk with misha. i really wonder what would have happened if misha didn’t stop him. i also REALLY wonder what misha and jensen discussed when they turned their backs to the audience. sigh. 

now we get to the juicy stuff. jensen’s little slip up here is really really strange, when you think about it. he says “i have kids” before quickly covering that up with “i have a kid now.” i’m not saying the ackles and the collins are one big happy family or anything like that, but i do think that they are close enough for him to slip up like this. maybe the kids hang out together a lot. maybe they have given each other enough support during those early days of raising kids that it sometimes feels like he had multiple kids at that point in time. idk. but in any case, i don’t think that’s a slip up you’d make unless there was some sort of truth in it. he also kind of stumbles over his words right after that. [before anybody runs to my inbox to tell me that j/2 tinhatters think this is about him and j*red raising their kids together: trust me, i know, but we’re not talking about that.]

misha’s cheeky “i thought you were talking about danneel” followed by the both of them simultaneously saying that jensen does not tell her what to do, made me grin like a fool. that is all. 

the way jensen says “misha, apparently you were looking pale and you need some sugar. there you go.” is so SOFT AND CUTE idek how to explain what i am feeling but it’s just. a lot. oh wait a minute, i do know what to call it: HUSBAND behavior.

“by the way we’re gonna pay so dearly when we get home” “yeah we are” lmao the jdmv vibes are strong in this one. 

look. i know it’s possible that misha woke up alone after that dream, thought to himself ‘i miss her’, went for breakfast, saw jensen, and told this story to him verbatim. but misha is literally telling the story from the pov of waking up from a dream and saying that out loud. it would make sense that he would explain that dream to the person who he woke up with, and that he would follow the dream explanation up with “i miss her”. plus jensen is REPEATING IT as if he was right there when misha said that. add to that the way jackles stumbles over his words here and gets flustered and sits down? and misha’s face? yeah. you done messed up jackles, part 2. 

jensen doesn’t know what to do with himself. just look at his face right after he sits down. and misha, once again, comes to the rescue, trying to continue the conversation about poop in order to distract both jensen and the audience. bless his soul. 

it leads to the second instance of misha pretending that he doesn’t know something about jensen, namely that jensen can’t stand poop even from his own daughter. misha goes: “no? not for you?” as if he didn’t already know that. 

round of applause for the jib team, for putting on ‘this thing called love’ to get jensen and misha to dance……. just saying.

jensen’s little nod to misha right here? husband telepathic communication at its finest. even their silly dad dances are in sync. 

jackles you are NOT being slick we can SEE you tossing the mic to your other hand so you can pull misha in by the waist (or honestly maybe his hand landed lower idk idk it’s possible).

it really is something special, though, what happened right here: jensen, macho masculine grumpy performative jensen, is smiling and laughing and enjoying dancing on stage, doing some ballet moves, all because of misha (and by some extent felicia). not just with felicia or by himself, but with rob, osric, etc. honestly it’s heartwarming to watch. it makes me smile so much. 

-

and that was jib 6. thanks for reading everybody <3 

[dirk-has-rabies]

Gender variance and it's link with neurodivergency

Okay so this is it going to be another long one

All quotes will be sourced with a link to the scientific journal I took it from

Okay Tumblr, let's talk gender (I know, your favorite topic) my preface on why this topic matters to me is: I'm autistic ( diagnosed moderate to severe autism) I'm nonbinary trans ( in a way that most non-autistic people don't understand and actually look down on)  and I went to college for gender study ( Mostly for intersex studies but a lot of my research was around non-binary and trans identities) I will be using the term autism as pants when I have experience with however when ADHD is part of the study I will use ND which stands for neurodivergent and yes this is going to be about xenogenders and neopronouns.

autism can affect gender the same way autism can affect literally every part of an identity. a big thing about having autism is the fact that it completely can change how you view personhood and time and object permanence and gender and literally all types of socially constructed ideas. let me also say hear that just because Society creates and enforces an idea does it mean that it doesn't exist to all people it just me that there is no nature law saying that it's real and the “rules” for these ideas can change and delete and create as time and Society evolves and changes.  gender is one of those constructs.

Now I'll take it by you reading this you know what transgender people are  (if you don't understand what a trans person is send me an ask and I'll type you up a pretty little essay lmao,  or Google it but that's a scary thought sense literally any Source or website can come up on Google including biased websites so be careful I guess LOL) anyway to be super basic trans people are anyone who doesn't identify as the gender they were assigned at Birth (yes that includes non-binary people I could do a whole nother essay about that shit how y'all keep spreading trying to separate non-binary people from the trans umbrella)  some people don't like to use the label and that is totally fine by the way.

now autistic people to view the world in a way differently than allistic (neurotypical) ppl do.  we don't take everything people teach us at 100% fact and we tend to question everything and demand proof and evidence for things before we can set it as a fact in our brains. This leads to why a lot of autistic people are atheist (although a lot of religions and this is not bashing on religious people at all I am actually a Jewish convert)  this questioning leads to a lot of social constructs being ignored or not understood At All by a lot of autistic people and personally I think that's a good thing.  allistics take everything their parents and teachers and schools teach them as fact until someone else says something and then they pick which ones to believe. autistic people study and research and learn about a topic before forming an opinion and while this may lead to them studying and believing very biased material and spitting it out as fact it can also lead them to try and Discover it is real by themselves.

because of this autistic people are more question their gender or not fall in a binary way at all as the concept of gender makes no sense to a lot of us. “ if gender is a construct then autistic people who are less aware of social norms are less likely to develop a typical gender identity”

no really look: “ children and teens with autism spectrum disorder ASD or Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder ADHD  are much more likely to express a wish to be the opposite sex compared with their typical developing peers” That was posted in 2014. we have been saying this stuff forever but no one wants to listen. the thing is gender variance (being not cisgender or at least questioning it)  has always been closely hand-in-hand with autistic and ADHD people I'm even the doctor who did that study understood right away that it all made sense the whole time: “ Dr. Strang said they were initially surprised to find an overrepresentation of gender variance among children with ADHD. However, they later realized that prior studies have shown increased levels of disruptive behavior and other behavioral problems among young people with gender variance”  SEE YOURE NOT WEIRD YOURE JUST YOU AND YOURE NOT ALONE IN THIS!!

5% autistic people who did the study were trans or questioning. it was also equal between the Sexes fun fact. that may not seem like a lot till you realize that the national average is only .7% that's literally over 700% higher than the national average. That's so many! and that's just in America.

 in Holland there was a study in 2010 “ nearly 8% of the more than 200 Children and adolescents referred to a clinic for gender dysphoria also came up positive on a assessment for ASD” they weren't even testing for ADHD so the numbers could be even higher!

now I want to talk about a  certain section of the trans umbrella that a lot of autistic people fall under called the non-binary umbrella. non-binary means anything that isn't just male or just female. it is not one third gender and non-binary doesn't mean that you don't have a gender. just clearing that up since cis people keep spreading that. non-binary is an umbrella term for any of the infinite genders you could use or create. now this is where I'm going to lose a bunch of you and that's okay because you don't have to understand our brains or emotions To respect us as real people. not many allistics can understand how we see and think and relate to things and that's okay you don't have to understand everything but just reading about this could be so much closer to respecting us for Who We Are from you've ever been and that's better than being against us just for existing.

now you might have heard of my Mutual Lars who was harassed  by transmeds for using the term Autigender (I was going to link them but if it gets traction I don't want them to get any hate)  since a lot of people roll their eyes at that  and treated them disgustingly for using a term that 100% applied correctly.  Autigender  is described as " a neurogender which can only be understood in the context of being autistic or when one's autism greatly affects one's gender or how one experiences gender. Autigender is not autism as a gender, but rather is a gender that is so heavily influenced by autism that one's autism and one's experience of gender cannot be unlinked.” Now tell me that doesn't sound a lot like this entire essay I've been working on with full sources…..

xenogenders and neopronouns are a big argument point on whether or not people “believe” in non binary genders but a big part of those genders is that they originated from ND communities and are ways that we can try to describe what gender means us in a way that cis or even allistic trans people just can't comprehend or ever understand. Same with MOGAI genders or sexualities. A lot of these are created as a way to somehow describe an indescribable relationship with gender that is so personal you really cant explain it to anyone who isnt literally the same as you.

Even in studies done with trans autistic people a large amount of them dont even fall on a yes or no of having a gender at all and fall in some weird inbetween where you KINDA have a gender but its not a gender in the sense that others say it is but its also too much of a gender so say youre agender. And this is the kind of stuff that confuses allistic trans people and makes them think nonbinary genders are making stuff up for attention, which isnt true at all we just cant explain what it feels like to BE a trans autistic person to anyone who doesnt ALREADY know how it feels.

In this study out of the ppl questioned almost HALF of the autistic trans individuals had a “Sense of identity revolving around interests” meaning their gender and identity was more based off what they liked rather than boy or girl. That makes ppl with stuff like vampgender or pupgender make a lot more sense now doesnt it? We see that even in the study: “My sense of identity is fluid, just as my sense of gender is fluid […] The only constant identity that runs through my life as a thread is ‘dancer.’ This is more important to me than gender, name or any other identifying features… even more important than mother. I wouldn't admit that in the NT world as when I have, I have been corrected (after all Mother is supposed to be my primary identification, right?!) but I feel that I can admit that here. (Taylor)” and an agreement from another saying “Mine is Artist. Thank you, Taylor. (Jessie)” now dont you think if they grew up with terms like artistgender or dancergender they would just YOINK those up right away????

In fact “An absence of a sense of gender or being unsure of how their gender should “feel” was another common report” because as ive said before in this post AUTISTIC PEOPLE DONT SEE GENDER THE WAY ALLISTIC PEOPLE SEE IT. therefore we wont use the same terms or have the same identities nor could we explain it to anyone who doesnt already understand or question the same way! Participants even offered up quotes such as “As a child and even now, I don't ‘feel’ like a gender, I feel like myself and for the most part I am constantly trying to figure out what that means for me (Betty)” and also “I don't feel like a particular gender I'm not even sure what a gender should feel like (Helen)”

Now i know this isnt going to change everyones minds on this stuff but i can only hope that it at least helped people feel like theyre not broken and not alone in their feelings about this. You dont have to follow allistic rules. You dont have to stop searching inside for who you really wanna be. And you dont have to pick or choose terms forever because just as you grow and evolve so may your terms. Its okay to not know what or who you are and its okay to identify as nonhuman things or as your interests because what you love and what you do is a big part of who you are and shapes you everyday. Its not a bad thing! Just please everyone, treat ppl with respect and if you dont understand something that doesnt make it bad or wrong it just means its not for you. And thats okay.

[dreaming-of-assclass]

Omg Reaper 2.0's misogyny? I'm intrigued LOL especially since I don't remember a lot of details about him. So if you'd be willing to spill the tea... 👀

Ok everyone buckle up, it’s tea spilling time 😌🍵

Meta: 2.0’s Misogyny and Views on Gender Roles/Sociology

⚠️ TW: child abuse, domestic abuse ⚠️

So the specific instance I think of is during the Reaper arc, when the kids are breaking in to save Irina. And they first come face to face with him, and have to engage in combat. He takes them down effortlessly, we all know.

But...there’s a moment in which he purposely hits Kayano especially hard with his knee, and believes he has broken her ribs. He callously remarks, “Females are so fragile.”

Let’s break this down:

A. Kayano is literally the smallest girl/student. She is very petite, and everyone knows this. It's obvious even when she's wearing their uniform.

B. He knocked down everyone so easily, but seemed to take a particular joy in brutalizing her. A petite girl.

C. Given that he's been watching the class, he must've known that she was actually stronger than she seemed. But again, I question this particular violence and the comment afterwards.

For a while, I thought maybe he had just said that to be cruel for no reason. To rile them up and be an asshole. I mean, it would be fitting, right?

No. I came to the eventual conclusion that this man is a misogynist, for sure. And there are indicators that Koro, his only role model, might bear some resentment towards women himself.

There's also proof in the way that he treated Irina, even when they were "allies." He seemed to really disrespect her and look at her like a joke, despite her accomplishments as an assassin. And whatever worth he did believe her to have, he only thought it came from her sexuality.

Like...why else was Irina dressed down to only lingerie in the arc? Because it was part of his plan, and he looked down on her and her profession.

Expanding the context a bit, it really also does prove how he looked down on women. He had Irina appear half-dressed, upset, and completely weak before she tricked everyone. The embodiment of female fragility, and how sexuality is tied into that. I hope this is making sense omg

Now, moving onto his past~

I really recommend you read this awesome meta by @akamayumura (sorry for the tag!!) They delved into his childhood and psychological state very well, in my opinion.

We can infer that 2.0 grew up in a terrible household, and that is an equal contribute to his behavior, as well as the possibility of him having an anti-social disorder. I mean, he was so happy to see his father get killed in front of him...

Not only that, but he literally romanticized the killer. In that moment, he didn't experience grief, but gained a rose-tinted view of death. He literally begged Koro to go with him and grow into someone like that.

Clearly, there was some psychological reason for this. But that isn't unordinary for abused children to feel, having such a disconnect. He didn't view it as his father being murdered, but rather: a person he hated finally leaving his life.

And then he gained loyalty for the person who was responsible -> The Reaper.

I cannot find it for the life of me, but there is apparently a moment in canon where 2.0 describes his father as "tyrannical."

And you know what?

Usually in a household with an abusive tyrannical father, there is a weak, complacent mother.

This is so interesting that we're on this topic now, because I just read a book detailed all about this. It's called "Men Who Hate Women, and the Women Who Love Them" by Susan Forward. Please read it omg, it's so good and informative on how misogyny is engrained in childhood, relationships, etc.

But yeah!

This exact dynamic is a formula for men who grow up to be misogynistic because their first example of a woman in their lives is their mother, who is the victim in an abusive dynamic.

Here are some pictures from the book to help explain.

^ 2.0’s hatred towards his father

^THIS.

Either 2.0 grew up having to provide emotional labor for his mother, or there was none at all between them. Overall though, there is a sense of resentment and abandonment given that the father was so dominating, and his mother was a victim too.

Men who lived in households like this, often grow up into believing that women are to be controlled, because this is the example they had to go by for so long.

On top of that, there's a layer of resentment and distrust towards women because his own mother didn't stand up for herself and protect him. Why would another woman do so?

But to sum it up:

2.0 believes women are weak, fragile, easily controlled, and cannot be trusted at all.

There's evidence in his attack on Kayano, and the way he treated Irina.

Ahem, also notice how he seemed to act more professional around Karasuma, and took him much more seriously. Like yeah, Karasuma is more serious, but why on Earth would one of the best assassins in the world regard a government agent over another top-notch assassin?

If Irina were a male assassin, I definitely think the treatment and attitude would be different honestly.

ALSO.

2.0 loves flowers, we know! But there's another reason why he possibly used a flower shop guy as his cover.

To easily manipulate women, the target customers of flowers.

Hmmmmmm.

Anyways, yeah, we can deduce that his misogyny was born from his childhood of having an abusive father and seeing his mother as a victim.

Not to mention, that he spent most of his life with Koro, who definitely didn't treat him to respect women lmao.

I actually feel like Koro has his own personal resentment towards women/femininity...but before I make a post about that, I'll have to do more research.

Anyways, we all knew 2.0 had dad issues, but there are a lot of mommy issues on top of that.

This isn't me trying to cancel him or anything btw! He's still one of my favorite characters, I love him. I just find this characteristic of his to be pretty interesting and worth diving into. (Although I will admit, that Kayano rib scene upsets me a bit.)

So yeah! Hope you enjoyed this meta! And I hope this tea is hot enough 🍵🍵🍵

[hopeshoodie]

What insecurities do you think the girls have?

Erghhhh this is an AMAZING question, Iris. Let's move from most insecure to least

Lottie

She has a lot of physical insecurities, and I imagine they're little insignificant things like 'my shoulders are too wide, my nose is asymmetrical, I don't have a cupids bow, I have cellulite' instead of bigger things. She spends so much time applying makeup and trying to perform her style for others that she ends up picking herself apart

That none of her friends actually like her and she has no one

That she has to compete with the girls around her, for attention/job opportunities/men

That people think she's not smart so she has to retaliate by being snarky and overly invested in other people's business

That she's unlovable and will never find The One

Hope (I love my girl but oh boy is she insecure)

She always second guesses the commitments she makes because what if there's something better? What if something out of her control falls through?

That she's unlovable (she doesn't believe in The One like Lottie but she very much does worry that her standards are too high and she'll never find someone)

That she's not successful and rich ENOUGH (she's very confident in her career but also is motivated by wanting more)

Once she recognizes and starts actively working on her anger issues she's very self conscious of her past actions and how older friends perceive her

That she makes more money than her partner and some internalized misogynistic part of her doesn't want that to be true

Marisol

That her attraction to women isn't valid/her lack of experience with women. She constantly asks herself if she's pretending to be into women for attention lmao 13 year old me agrees

That she's not as smart as she thinks she is or conversely that she is super smart but can't convey that to other people

That she doesn't do as well in school as she'd like

That she doesn't have a whole lot of close friends, just many acquaintances. She's constantly anxious that people are doing things without her and excluding her.

Purely headcanon but I feel like she's really conscious of how she moves/walks and is insecure about how others perceive her because of it

Her height, but only sometimes

Hannah (I hate putting her so low but I think she's so naive and firmly in her not like other girls phase that she doesn't recognize her insecurities)

That other people will think she's stuck up or stupid

That she's actually terrible at writing (with her reading comprehension of classics... girl it's not looking good)

That she can't compete with other women. Not that shes not interesting and hot, she knows she is, but that she'll get lost in a crowd.

That she's not the right kind of beautiful. She gets called pretty a lot but will pick about that she wants to be sexy or intense or attractive in a way that doesn't come naturally to her.

Priya (I hate saying she's less insecure than the others because she's way more immature, but her immaturity comes from lack of impulse control rather than anxiety)

I get the sense that Priya is happy how she is, but feels like she never lived up to some expectation. She enjoys being a realtor, but always felt like she could/should do something more

I don't think she has the self reflection to realize that people perceive her as basic, but she definitely recognizes and worries that she doesn't have a distinct personal style like it seems everyone else does

I think the majority of her insecurities are based on what she THINKS everyone else is. She thinks 'everyone else has a million friends and I don't' 'everyone else has a 14 step skin routine and I don't' 'everyone else has their life completely figured out and I don't'. None of its true, she's just self flagellating herself because of the idealized things she sees on Instagram.

Elisa

She's super confident about her appearance, style, personality, and status, but she's DEFINITELY very dependent on others for validation. She's constantly worried that her look/interests will go out of style.

Shannon

What other people think of her. She's fine if you hate her (and might even like it), as long as she thinks the criticisms are invalid or she doesn't like you already. She just needs to be relevant, desired, and thought of as interesting so badly.

My girl doesn't have an insecure bone in her body aside from being wrong. When she's confronted with demonstrable proof that she's wrong about something big, she shuts down and obsesses over it. Little things she can shrug off easily, but when something gets under her skin she cannot stop obsessing about it.

[cat-soda]

alexa, play "just the way you are"

in which mello's pretty insecure about his looks for the prettiest person in the room (for day 2 of meroniaevent - "hair")

Near sat and stared and stared and stared.

Mello was growing out his bangs —had been for a while now, really— and the blonde tresses fell over his face and scar alike as he scrolled through the tablet in his lap. And Near had looked to ask him a question about the case, only to notice something... bothersome.

So, he stared.

Then, slowly, he reached out his hand. He stopped an inch or two away. “Mello?”

“Hm.” When he didn’t respond, Mello turned to face him. “What, Near?” He noticed Near leaning forward and seemed to stop breathing, closing his eyes… only for Near to tuck Mello’s hair behind his ear.

Near sat back and nodded to himself. That was better.

Mello blinked, abruptly turning a bright red. “What. What was that.”

“Oh.” Curling up a bit tighter on his chair, Near caught a strand of hair between his fingers and considered his words. “I wanted to see you more clearly.”

“...see me? I’m right here.”

His cheeks turned pink. “Your face. I couldn’t see it because your hair was in the way. It was bothering me.”

Mello glanced at his fringe, narrowing his eyes. “That’s the point, though, right?” he said, voice bitter. “To cover up…” His left hand twitched and went to hover over his scar, and before Near even thought about it, he’d grabbed hold of Mello’s wrist.

And he couldn’t figure out why, exactly, he’d done that, or why he was pulling his chair closer to Mello’s, or why he was brushing more of Mello’s hair behind his left ear like he’d done his right, just that he had to tell him, “But, it’s proof that you’re alive, isn’t it? I like it.” Then, he leaned in in the way Mello had been expecting before and softly kissed his scar, then the corner of his mouth, and then the corner on the other side. Near pulled away, hands cupping Mello’s cheeks. “I like you.”

Mello swallowed. “I—” His voice cracked. “I know that.”

His eyes were watery, Near noted. He wondered if he should say something. He opened his mouth and said— “Mello is rather attractive with longer hair, but I fear I may be biased in saying so.” Which hadn’t been what he’d meant to say at all, but had Mello letting out a small laugh and closing his eyes.

“Oh, yeah?” Mello leaned into Near’s palm. “Why’s that?”

“I’ve always thought that he was attractive, even with regards to his questionable fashion choices.”

He grinned, suddenly and broadly, wrapping his arms around Near’s waist and burying his face in Near’s neck. “Like you’re any better. But alright, alright, I get it already. I don’t need to cover up. Now you’re just making me embarrassed.”

“Am I? I hadn’t realized that was possible.”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Mello asked, running his hands under Near’s shirt to tickle his sides and make him let out an undignified squeak.

“That Mello is —ack!— shameless!”

“Oi.” Dodging Near’s attempts at batting him away, Mello slowed and went back to simply holding him. He pressed their foreheads together, still grinning; tentatively, Near smiled back. “Hey, Near.”

“Yes, Mello?”

“I like you too.”

------

a/n: i hope it makes sense! i literally just finished writing this about five minutes ago, and i have a killer headache, so iiiiii haven't revised or edited or any of that good stuff.. i hope that it's legible and makes sense. if it's not, keep it to yourself lmao sorry if it sucks, tho. thanks for reading!

[adrinoir]

✨ Why Marichat is the superior ship ✨

I’ve been analyzing a bunch of different Miraculous topics, so why not touch on my (and 90% of the fandom’s) favorite ship? (Scroll to the bottom if you’d rather not read the entire thing but want to know my important points.)

How it got started

Ah, Evillustrator. That episode. STILL one of my favorite episodes. Dates way back to the beginning of season one.

Ladybug does a fake out saying she’s got “a top secret mission” to take care of and tells Cat Noir to look out for Marinette.

That face says “hold the fuck up, I KNOW her! (And low key have feelings for her... *panic*)”

He then goes to her house and starts being super over the top and flirty: kneeling down and kissing Marinette’s hand, saying how she’ll be his ladybug for the night (ohh the irony), and flexing his muscles.

Did he have to go that far? NO. But it’s wonderful that he did lmao.

He doesn’t know she’s Ladybug, BUT he knows her as Marinette. So, isn’t it kinda funny that his first instinct is to FLIRT with her?

He legit just did it because he WANTED to.

And I love how she just teases him back in return and laughs at his stupid flirting. Like the chemistry was just there even in the first interaction.

Naturally, they were also good at working together to get away from Evillustrator in that episode. (He was still being low-key flirty with her for a bit of it!)

Then, at the end of the episode, Adrien WANTS Marinette’s opinion on Cat Noir and is hoping it’s a positive one. Why would he care about her opinion if he DIDN’T like Marinette?

What really *launched* the ship

This should be obvious: the Glaciator episode!

It’s really made clear in this episode that Adrien feels a good sense of comfort around Marinette (especially more so when he’s Cat Noir because Marinette doesn’t know who he is underneath the mask.)

Cat Noir sets up his super romantic rooftop date, expecting Ladybug to show up. Of course she doesn’t, because Marinette was waiting on HIM to join her and their friends to get ice cream. He gets really sad and then sees Marinette being all mopey too on her balcony nearby.

Again, I LOVE what he does when he first sees her. His instinct is to go be with her because he doesn’t want to be alone - precious.

Then, he quickly opens up to her, which is crazy considering how little he’s opened up to his other friends. Like, admitting he got turned down and that he’s upset since he’s super in love with Ladybug is not necessarily a “light” subject to open up about to someone you’ve only interacted with once before (in his superhero persona, of course.)

Marinette doesn’t go into specifics, but at least she admitted that she got her heart broken too, that night (*sigh* if only Marinette hadn’t been so mean to Cat Noir and if only Adrien understood why Marinette is heartbroken.)

Then, Cat Noir CRADLES her in his arms and takes her to the rooftop setup that was originally meant for the love of his life, mind you. Like, excuse me, who does that? Are we just not gonna talk about that?

That’s so personal, thoughtful, and low key romantic that his way of helping Marinette cope with her heartbreak is taking her to the romantic rooftop setting.

Sure Cat Noir was still upset over Ladybug not being there, but you can tell he genuinely enjoyed Marinette’s company and that he trusts her enough to tell her about his deeper feelings.

You can tell Marinette genuinely liked it too, because she smiles and blushes as he carries her and even makes an effort to thank him for his sweet gesture. She also lets him protect her when Glaciator first attacks her.

More “fluff”

There’s some other cute moments here and there between Marinette and Cat Noir. It mainly involves Cat being extra protective over her when an akumatized villain shows up. (Mainly in Befana.)

He’ll ask her about what happened and sometimes carry her or put her in a safe place. Very cute and sweet.

Then - one of my all time favorite moments - is when he cuddles Marinette in his arms in Chat Blanc, right after she finds out Adrien is Cat Noir. She’s so happy with this news and just falls right into his arms.

How the writer tried killing off the ship

Oh good ol Thomas Ass Truck (not a typo, I mean it.) Considering how petty this man gets when interacting with the Miraculous fandom, I’m going to make a bold assumption. I feel he purposely created the Weredad episode because he’s sick of hearing us talk about how amazing the Marichat ship is, when most of the time it’s not canon.

One of the main plot points in the episode is Marinette pretending to have feelings for Cat Noir because he realizes she’s usually there after his missions with Ladybug. She’s all worried he’d figure out she’s really Ladybug so this is her stupid excuse to cover it.

Of course Cat Noir is thrown off guard by her sudden love confession and can’t POSSIBLY try dating Marinette because he’s still madly in love with Ladybug (ohh how he could’ve taken Plagg’s advice.)

So, of course, he tells Marinette he doesn’t want to be her boyfriend, and Marinette is ECSTATIC because she doesn’t have to fake being in love with him and she gets off the hook for getting caught after their missions. (Jeez, Marinette. Would it REALLY be that awful if Cat Noir DID want to date you?)

But, Cat Noir shows he still cares about her (even not in a romantic sense) because he continuously fights Weredad despite how ridiculously strong Weredad is.

Thomas is trying to kill off any potential of Marichat becoming a thing, because his precious ego is hurt by his fans’ views of THIS being the best ship. But, that was stupid to set back the strides forward this relationship made in Glaciator and Chat Blanc - two emotionally heavy episodes.

Final Thoughts

To tldr this, I’ll highlight the important points:

1) Marinette and Cat Noir are their most comfortable, most true selves in these roles and it’s clear there’s good potential for a healthy relationship to blossom between them (despite what Thomas Astruc thinks.)

2) The wonderful chemistry and good, raw moments are there as proof that this ship could just WORK.

3) The ONLY thing that is keeping this ship from being fully canon is Marinette and Cat Noir not allowing themselves to get over their feelings for themselves in their more “forced” identities as Adrien and Ladybug.

4) Marinette now knows Cat Noir has a sensitive side and she needs to be more understanding that there’s so much more to him beyond his goofy demeanor.

Hopefully this gives some good background and has convinced you to like this ship for what it is. Thank you for reading and good night.