#this isn't a new revelation given the chapters right before it but it is a different angle on it

[level1cleric]

i really appreciate this bit here. senshi is sensitive to izutsumi's eating habits, and rather than admonishing her or punishing her, senshi works to make sure she's fed in a way that aligns with her needs, even if those needs are just variety in this case. it really shows how much senshi is dedicated to making sure his group is fed and likes the food they're eating, taste being just as important as nutrition, by recognizing their likes, dislikes, and limits

[eirianerisdar]

Omg. So I was re-reading Icarus while I wait for the new chapter because you have an unnatural hold on me right now and in chapter one when Daniel asks Seb about how trimmed wings feel, Seb says:

“They say you should feel lighter. They never mention how it makes you feel hollow."

And fast forward to a couple of months ago when Simon Rennie told Daniel he looked hollow when he came back to the factory... GOOSEBUMPS all over

Haha the weird thing is that I wrote that first chapter way before the video on Danny coming back to Red Bull or the Talking Bull podcast came out. I meant a metaphorical hollowness but the more I built on the motif the more it applied both literally and metaphorically. The hollow between Daniel's folded wings when he trims, where his primary feathers used to be. The hollowing out of his happiness, his personality, his ingrained driving habits at the mercy of a car that doesn't suit him. How he literally hollows out, his weight dropping, his cheeks turning hollow.

I've been mulling over something for a while. While Icarus isn't meant to completely reflect the real world, I started the story earlier this year to explore unhealthy sporting practices in F1. A lot of it, like most RPF, is based on necessary extrapolation and can't be absolutely the same as real life, which is why I see Icarus!Daniel first and foremost is a character and not as IRL Daniel. But I have to say my twin @wafflesrisa and I were constantly astounded this season because so many of our extrapolations just...turned out to be true? Things like how hollow Daniel was when he first came back. The revelation of McLaren's systematic dismantling of his racing style. How angry Christian was at what McLaren had done and how willing he was to shaft them at the right opportunity (Aus gp press conference). We planned the fainting and big crash in the later chapters very early on back in May and when the Qatar GP came out and people were passing out in the high speed corners we were like um. Okay. Unintentional reflection of IRL events.

Icarus remains a fanfic. To say it accurately reflects the dynamics of the grid and the sport would be a bit parasocial. But honestly given it's a fic about drivers trimming their wings as a metaphor for killing a part of themselves in exchange for speed, I'm a bit terrified that so much of it has ended up not being an exaggeration but a mirror of certain things IRL.

[nut-in-me-jojo]

Always Will Be - Chp. 7

Pairing: Yan!Gyutaro x Fem!Reader

Chapter: 7

Series Warnings: NSFW, extreme depictions of death, extreme violence, dead dove don’t eat, forced relationship, yandere, non/dubious consent, kidnapping, degradation, slut shaming, stockholm syndrome, poverty, dacryphilia, misogyny, dumbification, (If you don't like dark yandere's this story isn't for you.)

Word Count: 3K

Summary:  Gyutaro has lived for over a century now, still plagued by memories of the past and haunted by its ghost. You are one of his only two regrets.

“Gyu-Chan, stop pulling so hard!” Whined Yuna as she was practically dragged along through the backstreets of Rashomon. Her little feet scuttling over themselves as she tries to keep up with her quick-paced friend that clasped her hand in his; a sense of mission evident in the way he moved.

“We have to hurry before she comes back.” He spoke adamantly.

“Who?”

“Mother.” He answered just as swiftly.

Her brows knit and her feet grew sluggish in apprehension of his response. “Why are we going there?” She jumped to interrogate, already knowing his mother to be no better than her own.

“I want to show you something.” He replied vaguely, making Yuna stop in her tracks entirely as she yanked herself out of his touch. “No, I’m not going.” She objected, her tone air-tight.

Gyutaro turned to face her, an irritated scowl in tow. “We don’t have time for this, do you want to see the baby or not?”

Gyutaro watched as her stubborn stare shifted at his words. “The baby?” She quirked dubiously.

“Mother wasn’t getting fat, she had a baby in her stomach all this time.” Gyutaro informed.

Yuna’s thoughts trailing back to the swell of his mother’s stomach the two had been watching grow in size from afar for months now. The two children had chalked it up to the woman merely putting on weight since they had no one to tell them any different. Although they had wondered how his mother could afford enough to eat to get that big, her son of course hadn’t dared to ask.

Yuna’s mind was a short circuiting whirlwind as she tried to wrap her head around what he was telling her. But as the idea began to compute, she found herself to be quick with questions. “Is it at your house?”

“She’s at the house.” He corrected. “Duh, that’s why we’re going.”

Yuna let out an elated ear-shattering squeal at the revelation; nearly making Gyutaro jump out of his skin before hewas the one getting dragged behind now as she sprinted to his house. Seems as though the concept of another girl being around had given her a second wind.

As the two came up to the derelict shack he had once called home, they could already hear a baby's unhappy cries. She sounded to be most upset about something. Gyutaro moved ahead to check that the coast was clear of his mother before he led Yuna inside.

The shack was mostly barren, much like Yuna’s mother’s house. But off to the side was what appeared to be a wicker bassinet that laid on the ground. The woven pleats of the baby basket were worn and breaking in places from the rot of age. The poor thing had been left unattended while her mother had gone off to do God knows what; another testament to the sheer neglect these children faced.

“Hey! Hey! Hey!” Yuna called out to the screaming infant as she drew closer to the bassinet before kneeling beside it. The baby’s snow white hair contrasting starkly against her reddened and irritated face as she wailed on.

“You don’t need to cry anymore! Your Oni-Chan is here!” Yuna declared to try and console the baby girl.

The title didn’t register with the newly appointed big brother right away; as he stood stunned for a minute. But surely, it began to set in. That’s right, he was an Oni-Chan now. And to hear it verbalized for the first time made pride for a new sense of purpose bloom within.

The infant cracked its eyes from finally hearing a voice after screaming out for someone for so long now. But clearly she still wasn’t happy as her sirening cries carried on, her angry little fists still shaking at the world that cruelly refused her demands.

Yuna frowned a bit from the lack of success before switching tactics. “Hold her, Gyu-Chan! She wants you!”

“She’s probably just hungry…” Gyutaro grumbled. The truth being that he was nervous to hold her, unbelieving that anyone could want him including his own sister. He assumed that his ugly face would likely just scare her and make matters worse.

Yuna’s brows knit once again at his hesitance. “Just do it!” She insisted.

Reluctantly, he knelt beside Yuna to carefully scoop his disgruntled sister into his gangly arms. Her piercing screams seemed to instantly lower in volume though they didn’t stop entirely as little displeased whines still left her dribbling lips.

“See? That’s all you wanted huh? Some attention!” Yuna cooed to her.

“Its true,” He relented softly, a smile finally pulling at his chapped lips as he cradled his newest treasure. “She doesn’t like being by herself. She always wants all eyes on her.” He added matter-of-factly.

His voice seemed to coerce the baby into fully opening her eyes at last; revealing gorgeous crystalline blues that matched her brother’s in shade. They stared wide-eyed, shifting curiously between the two faces that peered back at her with equal wonder.

Awe washed over Yuna as this little baby’s pure beauty took her breath away. “This...is the prettiest baby I’ve ever seen, Gyu-Chan.” She gawked.

“Of course she is! She’s special!” He doted.

As he spoke once again, Ume’s gaze honed in on her brother fully. Her tiny fingers latching into the fabric of his dirty and ragged kimono as she watched him ever so intently; seemingly awaiting his next words.

“Look at her, she loves you.” Yuna laughed at the infant's enthrallment of the young boy before she leaned closer to speak to her directly. “Hi! What’s your name?” She asked her rhetorically.

“Ume.” Her brother proudly answers for her, making Yuna grin.

“How pretty~! Just like you~!” She chimes to the infant, the two children not yet aware of the true distaste behind the awful slang of the name.

Gyutaro’s thumb swiped away the stray tears from the baby’s chubby cheeks as Yuna moved closer, extending a finger to the little one to grab hold in which she curiously obliged.

“You’re already so lucky, Ume-Chan! You’re so beautiful and already have two people that love you!” Yuna told her, as she wrapped an arm around each of the siblings.

“We’ll never let anything bad happen to you. Right, Gyu-Chan?”

“Right.” He agreed dutifully.

“You see? We promise! So don’t cry anymore!” She hummed out.

Gyutaro had trouble recalling a time where he had felt more fulfilled than in this moment. He wasn’t quite as fortunate as these two he held, he hadn’t been born beautiful like them. But to have them at his side almost made him feel as if he was. As if he could hold his head up high that such beauties chose to follow and love him as much as they did. As long as the three of them were together, as long as he had them with him, he could do anything. He was sure of it.

Just like the other times before, his dream switched gears in an instant. But this time, he remembered this day very well. And it had all started from a game of hide and seek that had gone horribly, horribly, horribly wrong. The day that had changed the trio’s lives forever.

He -the seeker- was just about to round a corner in his pursuit of the two hiders; when he stopped in place, looking out into the streets of Rashomon from the side of a house. In the road, were the two he had been searching for. But they weren’t alone.

His sister and Yuna had their backs facing him, he could see Ume’s small hand holding onto Yuna’s kimono. Before them, stood three men. Gyutaro could instantly tell they weren’t Rashomon locals, their clothes were too nice and they carried swords.

They were human scouters. Looking for girls to buy or steal and sell off.

He could see Yuna shaking from where he stood, and he knew that she was aware of what they were as well.

“Such lovely hair on this one.” He heard one remark as his prying fingers played with Yuna’s locks. But no protest came from Yuna, too scared to do anything as panic coursed through her.

For the moment, Gyutaro was rooted in place by his own fear as well. One man he could probably handle, but there were three of them and they were all armed.

The man’s gaze shifted to Ume as he went on. “You may be a bit young, but you’re quite a pretty little thing. I’m sure they could find something to do with you. Tell me, do you two have a mother that’s around? We’d like to have a chat with them.” A slimey grin plastered itself across the man’s face.

“My mother’s dead!” Chirped 8-year-old Ume, who was oblivious to the danger the two were in. The elder two having always done their best to shelter her from the harsh realities of the entertainment district.

Yuna’s hand slapped itself over Ume’s lips that had already said too much. Only now did Ume take note of the sweat that was beading on Yuna’s brow and the trembling of her hand that clasped itself on her face. Something was wrong here.

“Oh dear, how unfortunate. You poor things..” His oil-slick smarmy smirk only grew in size as he spoke.

“That will make things easier though...how would you girls like to come with us? We’ll take you to a place where you’ll always have plenty to eat, clean clothes, and a warm bed to sleep in. You’ll even get a bath! Do you two even know what a bath is? From the looks of you, I’d say not.” He chuckled darkly as his hand stretched out to Ume. “Now, doesn’t that sound nice? Why don’t you be good and come along quietly then?”

Ume was growing more confused by the second, those all sounded like such nice things...so why was Yuna acting like this?

Yuna’s hand left Ume in favor of smacking away the vile man’s hand that drew too close to her pseudo-sister for comfort. Her panic had melted away in place of boiling rage as she practically foamed at the mouth. “DON’T FUCKING TOUCH HER!! You sick bastard, how dare you try and trick a child like that! You speak of such things yet don’t mention the means to get it! I’ll die in these streets before I let you take us! FUCKING SCUM, ALL OF YOU!!!” She spat at him.

Both siblings' eyes widened in shock, it was rare for Yuna to cuss like this. Much less at a grown up like him. Ume knew now that something was indeed terribly wrong.

All the while, Gyutaro’s panic climbed with his sisters from the sidelines at Yuna’s bravery/stupidity.

“Looks like this one has a mouth on her. No matter, they have ways of fixing that. Grab them.” He commanded the two other men that surrounded them. Gyutaro’s heart felt like it was going to lurch out of his chest at the stomping realization that his sister and Yuna were going to be taken before his eyes. And now, just like Yuna, his panic turned into unadulterated rage for their attackers.

The second his direction had been given, Yuna acted more swiftly than the men at his disposal. Her stone-solid determination to get Ume out of this mess drilling her on as her foot dug itself into the dirt of the road and kicking it up and out. The winds of the early spring aiding her as it carried the sediment into the men’s faces, obscuring their view of the two girls.

Now, it was Gyutaro’s turn to act as he took his scythe into his hand. His sister and Yuna needed him. And he would not fail them. He moved like an animal, using his god-given speed to take great advantage of the thick sandstorm Yuna had kicked up; he seized the opportunity to slash through the back of the men’s calves to ensure the trio’s escape. They’d have a hard time trying to chase them down thanks to Oni-Chan. The men cried out as their muscles shredded in an instant and they fumbled for their swords.

But Gyutaro was quicker, he rounded out from behind the three men and took hold of both girls before pulling them into the alley he had come from. He believed this may be the fastest he had ever seen any of them run.

But still, Ume’s little legs betrayed her as she struggled behind. She was dragging them down, and Oni-Chan was quick to pull Ume up on his back as the elder two sprinted on in their bolt for freedom.

They ran through this alley and that, trying with all they had to lose their pursuers. Their shouts from behind told them they had been slowed down but hadn’t given up their chase entirely.

The three turned a corner and safety came into view in the form of a horse drawn cart that was wheeling away mounds of hay. Gyutaro was losing strength from running for so long with Ume on his back, but he conjured up the last of his energy to power through and catch up to the wagon. Once he’d grabbed hold of the backside, Ume climbed over him and into the cart to hide and bury herself in the hay before her brother pulled himself up and inside with her.

He turned to face Yuna who seemed as though she too was out of strength and using the last embers of it to try and catch up. “Come on!! Hurry!!” He desperately urged as he reached out to her.

Yuna’s legs burned and ached as they threatened to give out from under her, but seeing Gyu-Chan waiting for her gave her the extra strength she had been missing. “I’ve got you!” He told her as their hands met and latched, Gyutaro steadying himself against the railing of the cart as he pulled her up top with him.

The two hid themselves besides Ume, all of them panting as the dirty straw stuck uncomfortably to their sweaty bodies.

“That way! After them!” They heard the men call out from afar. Seems as though they were headed the opposite direction.

As soon as the wagon came to the outskirts of Rashomon, the three jumped out to take refuge underneath a bridge they knew well.

No sooner had they slipped under, Yuna was balling her eyes out into Gyu-Chan’s chest. But this time, he did not ask her to stop. He only cradled her as she muffled her howling cries into his dirty Yukata.

Ume could only watch on, she had never seen Yuna so inconsolable before. Nor had she ever seen her brother seem to be so equally concerned about something. It wasn’t like him to just sit back and allow such dramatics from either of them.

“They’re gonna find us! They will!” Yuna warbled out through her anguish.

“No they won’t.” Gyutaro tried to assure her.

Her balled hands tightened on his robe as he spoke. “Yes they will! They’ll ask around, everyone knows us! They’d all be happy to get rid of us! They’ll find out who my mom is and she’d sell me off for a fucking handful of rice! I don’t wanna go! I don’t wanna go! Gyu-Chan, I don’t wanna go!!!” She screamed hysterically.

“Lower your voice!” He finally reprimanded before grabbing ahold of each side of her face and forcing her to look him in the eye. “I won’t let them take you, do you hear me?”

The frantic look on her guardians faces and the piling questions were too much for Ume to bear anymore. “Yu-Chan, what are you so afraid of? Those men were talking about such good things, I don’t-“

Yuna whipped around to face her, the terror in her gaze was enough to cut Ume off alone. “Ume, you don’t understand what those people do!! They take you and then they-“ Yuna got out before she was then cut off by the ever so protective Oni-Chan.

“That’s enough, Yuna! She doesn’t need to know that yet!”

“Yes she fucking DOES! You saw them, they were gonna take her and they would’ve if we hadn’t been there!! We can’t hide it from her forever! No, she needs to fucking KNOW so she can fucking protect herself!!!” Yuna belligerently argued back.

Always the most sensible of the three, Gyu-Chan knew she was right. His lips tightening as he hung his head in defeat.

“Ume, those people weren’t telling you the whole truth. Those houses they take you to, they force you to do things you don’t want to do! They take girls like us and make us do things to men for money and you can’t run away or they’ll hurt or kill you!! And they...they..” Yuna couldn’t muster out any more words as she choked on them.

Gyutaro promptly pulled her back into himself rocking them both back and forth in his lap as she wailed miserably into him once again. “Shhhhh, calm yourself. We’ll stay hidden. You’ll never have to go. I won’t let anybody hurt you.” He vowed gently, but Yuna only carried on.

Ume couldn’t stand to see the two of them so distraught; even if she was scared too and still didn’t quite understand the situation in full, she tried her best anyhow.

Her little arms pulled the older two into her embrace. “Don’t cry anymore, Yu-Chan! We won’t let you go with the bad people!” She declared.

The faintest of smiles working it’s way on Gyutaro’s face as his pride for his sister only grew with her efforts she put forth in their grim situation.

His assurances were meant for Yuna yes, but his words were meant to ground himself as well. To instill his new mission into himself. To protect these two at all costs. Now more than ever.

But just as Yuna feared, it was a promise he couldn’t keep.

Chapter 8

[chemicalpink]

BTS Group Tarot Reading + a long ass author's note

Author's Note: HELLO This is definitely not how I wanted to come back online but alas, I think we could all use a little reassurance/direction given the recently public news, and while I MUST remind you that Tarot picks up a lot of energy on the situation as a whole, and thus is only one aspect out of every sphere that makes us humans, I feel a strong need to share it with you guys and I hope you all enjoy. As for me, I promise I am slowly but surely coming back, it has been a couple of rough weeks, I am filled to the brim with work I am still waiting to get paid for but at least I'm healthier now, I've been taking this time to go slow, pace myself, set my priorities straight and heal my spirit so I can continue to deliver quality over quantity in terms of my spiritual work. So here's the first one after that long time taken to better tune into the general energy. As usual, if there's anything you'd like to know more of, drop it in my ask and I'll get to it in due time! I'm sending all of you lots of love and strength.

ALRIGHT LET'S SEE WHAT THE TANNIES ARE UP TO REGARDING THEIR 9TH YEAR ANNIVERSARY AND FESTA REVELATIONS.

When my men said new chapter they QUITE LITERALLY MEANT IT oh boi- we are taking the big guns out first thing. With Capricorn Mercury in the 12th House, we are definitely seeing a whole transformation, akin to reincarnation, it is not quite being born again as artists but rather starting fresh without forgetting the past life knowledge, lessons and hardships, it's been given a second chance at what they do, what they love, without it feeling as restrictive as before, with their minds and hearts in it, yet breaking free from the things that have been holding them back.

And you know how clear these messages get with the tannies, it's all about new beginnings, these past nine years they have planted a seed in the world, they've cherished it, protected it against every odd, and it had finally bloomed, they are all secure and stable, like they never thought they would be, so it is time for them to sit back and watch it grow even stronger and more beautiful (ace of pentacles) These seven men have learnt to get what they desire, they're on top of their game, they have enough mental clarity to plan the next move, they are transforming, evolving, guided by the millions of people around the world that support them, it isn't a change coming from rapid confusion of sweeping change as much as it is about metamorphing into an even better version of themselves now (King of Swords) It has come to a time where even the efforts to take care of themselves have become a daily chore, there hasn't been much room for self reflection the way they need it, after they have had to overcome these past few years, taking a step back to take impulse this time isn't just about resting but about questioning their greater purpose in life, they have achieved so much in such a short amount of time, all different versions of themselves so it is now time to stand back, look at it objectively and search within their souls, what is the next step they are taking together with BTS? (The Hermit rx) It is indeed going to be trying times, as every healing process is, this time is full of opportunities and choices to pick from individually, something they haven't been able to truly do so in a long time, this time it isn't as much about team first, individual second, but about the synergy that looking for their own happiness is going to bring into the team (7 of Cups) Now evidently it all sounds dandy! They're getting some rest, they are given some time to develop themselves in their own unique way, but it is also pretty hard to break out of any long pattern that has become a sense of security, there's of course, a tint of disappointment, of "not doing things the right way the first time that they must take a specific time to do so in order not to fall apart" it wasn't really in their books for it to go this specific way but, it has been a couple of rough years for everyone, and perhaps this is the right course of action, even if it feels like failure at the time (5 of Cups) We will probably get to see an array of diversity in the tannies that we haven't really thought about before, academics, business, travel, some things quite new for them and for us to witness, but it is safe to say they are embarking in this trip with a renewed sense of conviction, it is freedom. It is hard work and success paying off (3 of Wands) They are moving onto the unknown parts of their work, things that hadn't been able to do before, that had seemed so foreign, things that they had felt like they had to give up in order to succeed they way that they have now, renewing their take on their job so that it doesn't feel like some parts of it are dragging them down but rather to find the excitement of it all, all over again (Empress rx)

The oracle is pretty set on it too, what with having to reconcile with their inner selves, rebuilding their support networks outside of the band, reconnecting with the people that they have lost along the way to the top, relearning that it is okay to share their burdens with other people and free themselves in order to take back control of their lives.

As extra information that we have been given, it is as much a time to be free as it is about forgiving themselves for the past, learning not to lose touch with their present because of it but greeting it like a long lost friend that will continue to be there even if you can't walk by their side anymore (6 of Cups rx) It is going to be a trying road, and it won't go on without a fight, they will struggle along the way but they will come out of it even more successful, happier than ever, freer than ever (The Sun) the BTS that will come back after this is going to be one even more bulletproof, one in full control of their surroundings and themselves, one that will come out victorious out of any situation they decide to put themselves in, because they're learning to co-exist as people and a band, as individuals and a family (the Chariot)

Decks Used: Prisma Visions Tarot, Astro Dice, Romance Angels Oracle, Sexual Magic Tarot.

[pancake-breakfast]

Well, it's a good thing I tried to get ahead earlier in the week because it took this long for me to get to the last part.

Stream-of-consciousness thoughts for TriMax Vol. 4, Chapters 6-7 below.

Chapter 6: The Bystanders

Falling ships and giant worms. Looks like we're off to a great start here.

Ok, I really hope we get a worms-eye view of The Fall in Stampede. I'm not gonna hold my breath given that they've kinda already covered it and they just don't have a ton of episodes to work with, but I love love love the idea that we get this backstory from the perspective of the planet's native, sentient, and very inhuman inhabitants.

You know what, Zazie? I dunno what this face is supposed to be, either.

Ah, the Japanese inclination to apologize for everything.

Oh, gods. Nightow's gonna intersperse this backstory with the boys fighting, isn't he? *SIGH* I wouldn't normally complain, but Nightow's fights are, far more often than not, hard enough to follow to begin with.

For as twisted as his body is, Hoppered's hands look very normal. I don't know what I was expecting.

Ohhh, Hoppered's beef is about July. Shoot, I saw someone make a comment about one of the cops in Stampede during July, and now that makes sense. Like, at the very least, that cop's line was a callback to this scene.

Ah, the innate trouble with translating the two-syllable Japanese "待って" (ma'tay) to the monosyllabic English word "wait." Personally, I would have gone with "W-- Wait!" but I'm not the one doing translations here.

Vash is denying it because he can't imagine wanting to destroy a city, but Hoppered is right; he just doesn't know.

Is... is Hoppered crying?

Eyyyy, old-school Hoppered! Looks like he was a bit of an odd one even before he joined up with the Gung-Ho Guns.

Ah, there's that term "independent." But the way Zazie's presenting it is making me think about it in whole new ways. Stampede brought it up in a way that made me think of them as having a freedom other Plants don't, but this interpretation has me thinking of the innate alone-ness of both Vash and Knives, what that means to them, how they deal with it and how they make it a part of their being. Knives revels in it and lets it feed his sense of superiority (much to Legato's dismay, I'm sure). Meanwhile, Vash... I wouldn't say he resents it, but he finds it very lonely, and it doesn't make him feel superior so much as it makes him feel very Other.

And here's the first place we have it straight-up said that they're Plants.

Ah, so the Bystanders referred to in this chapter title are Vash and Knives. I thought it might end up being the worms. But hey, no reason the title can't work both ways.

And then ANGEL ARM?!?! Ohhhh, Zazie's story's being interwoven with Hoppered's. This is July. How was I supposed to know that without metagame knowledge??

Ok, this panel is great, 'cause it was only a few pages back that Zazie noted they have the innate ability to sense others' emotions. It just adds a level of intimidation on the whole thing.

Hahahaha, Midvalley. I guess I shouldn't laugh at his suffering, but he tried to kill Wolfwood, so eh.

There's something innately ridiculous with him being like, "Time to pull out the BIG GUNS!!!" and then immediately being like, "Aw, man! My instrument's busted or something...."

"He's almost too pathetic to kill at this point." Rude.

Black-suited moron? Wolfwood?

Yeah, it's Wolfwood.

Milly to the rescue! Again!

LOL, he's doing better than he looks.

But not as good as he thinks he's doing.

The Adventures of Big Girl and Short Woman by Nicholas D. Wolfwood

Uhhhh, who's the person with the light?

Hahahaha, Zazie looks sooooo unimpressed with Midvalley right now.

Zazie has a point, but I think he's preaching to the choir here.

Where tf did Midvalley get alcohol from all of a sudden? Also, is the alcohol called "Drifter"? If so, that's kinda cool. Something something meaningful names for alcohol in this series.

Oop, Zazie's worm sense is tingling!

Chapter 7: Hopeless Sinner

CW: Suicidal ideation

Oh, Vash. This look has me really worried for you.

"Sinner" is generally the word Knives uses for humans in this series. I wonder, though, if it might be being used to apply to Vash here.

Ohhh, babygirl looks soooo troubled. And then looking up and seeing the hole in the moon.... That's not gonna improve his mood.

Ah. He remembers. And... you know... in this shot, he looks amazingly like Knives.

Heh. Hoppered just... sort of peering over him. Like he's checking on his wellbeing. It's the opposite, but the casualness of it is deceptively calm.

I'm... honestly not quite sure what Hoppered did to silence Vash here. Slap him, I guess?

Ooooof. Vash just straight up embraces the killing urge inside him. He looks it straight in the face and says, "Yeah. This is a part of me." But in the same breath he rejects it, says it's not something he wants because he doesn't want to go down that path. He doesn't want it so bad he'd take his own life to keep it from taking over.

Gods, he's sooooo sad. Even Hoppered feels bad for him.

Hoppered still wants him dead, and still wants to die, as well. TBH, this feels more like he empathizes with Vash to some degree. Something something double suicide.

Uhhhhh, sudden light??

Yeah, I dunno what happened here, either. Vash got knocked somewhere?

*sigh* Wheeeerrrrre does Wolfwood think he's going???

Did... he just gut-punch Milly????

Yes. Yes, he did.

He deserves booing. But I love how he just... caves. I bet he didn't really want to leave and was only gonna do so to get Milly out of there. But Milly didn't want to go peacefully and so here we are.

I really feel like Midvalley should get a strap for his sax. It seems like that would be useful. And this series can't have too many straps, belts, etc.

If five seconds is all it takes, why isn't Vash dead yet? Hmmmmm???

Uhhhhh, what's with this crazy airship??

Ohhhhh, shit. I have enough spoilers to know who that is.

This chair, though. It looks like a musical instrument.

Author Bonus Chapter

I have no idea what Nightow is rambling about here with this Barbarian Bonehead All-Stars nonsense.

Ohhh, so this isn't Kuroneko. This is Nya-Kun. My bad, I got them confused.

"My emotions are overflowing into rambling!!!" Hahahahahaha, I know we all do this from time to time, but it just feels very Nightow.

Ohhhh, something got lost in translation here. I've watched enough Attack on Titan to know that apparently Nightow replaced a word here with the pronunciation for "heart," but there's no corelary on the page.

I had heard about Nightow's love of action figures.

"They gather at the ocean with pleasant feeling." This sounds like something that was translated too literally from Japan. The phrase doesn't quite work in English.

"The meaning of their name in Japanese is 'omocha buzoku.'" This tells me nothing about the meaning of their name in Japanese. I am very confused.

Ah, he addressed the difference in the planet name from the manga to the anime. Sort of.

Haaaahahahahaha, ok, Story Time. A couple weeks ago I was at Anime Expo with @sweetpotoooooooos, and she went to a panel by Studio Bones (one of the old-timers as studios go) on one of the days when I couldn't attend. She said that during the panel, Bones mentioned that when they first got word of just how popular Fullmetal Alchemist (the original) was in the U.S., they thought they were being lied to. The numbers seemed too high. (As someone who was into anime at that time, I can verify that four of their five titles preceding FMA were talked about in the community, but only Wolf's Rain actually aired on Adult Swim where it could reach a broad audience... and... well, let's just say Wolf's Rain is not as good as FMA. (It does have an excellent Yoko Kanno soundtrack, though.)) FMA was first broadcast on Adult Swim in 2004. Trigun was first broadcast on Adult Swim in '03. The idea that anything anime would be popular enough to warrant action figures in the West would have absolutely been mind-blowing to any mangaka, and much more so one as in love with figures as Nightow.

Mata nee, minna-san!

Archive

Trigun Volume 1: Covers + 1-3, 3 Detailed Thoughts, 4, 4 DT, 5-6, 5-6 + DT, 6 DT, 7-8, 9-10 || Volume 2: Covers + Extras, 1, 1 Supplemental Research, 2-4, 5-6, 7-8

TriMax Volume 1: Covers + 1-2, 2 DT, 3-4, 3 DT, 5-6 || Volume 2: Covers + 1, 2-4, 5, 6-7 || Volume 3: Covers + 1-3, 4-5, 6-7 || Volume 4: Covers + 1-2, 3-5

[devotedlyqualitygalaxy]

I'll be honest, we're all scared of something. Actually, we're probably all scared of more than a few things.

This 3rd Seal is scary to me. For most it's all a joke and apocalyptic literature, but to me when Leviticus chapter 25 walks in with those 7 year seasons, and after seven of them they were to play a trumpet, then after 7 seals in Revelation there are 7 trumpets, I go, "oh jeez", it's the last inning, the final quarter, the last plays.

So after a couple years from 2020 of looking at news from my country, then everyone's country I could read in my language without those blasted paywalls stopping things, I came to the conclusion the only one who knew what the heck was going on was God. So, I prayed about it, and eventually got into the Bible Code for a year. Oh, what a year. Well, the short of it is that World War 2 was in the Bible code as Seal 2, and given 1939-1, 1940-2, 1941-3, 1942-4, 1943-5, 1944-6, 1945-7 ... well, that's a problem, now isn't it? Seal two had a color of red it said, and there were millions who died - spilling blood that's red - in World War 2. So that was problematic.

Why? Seal 3 the color is black. What color is the barn when it's empty, the silo when it's empty, the pantry when it's empty, and the screen when it's off? Black. There just happens to be a solar cycle going one from 2020, G1-2020, G2-2021, G3-2022, G4-2023, ?-2024 ... So the Solar Storms will take care of the screens and the Russia and Ukraine war just happen to involve Russia and Ukraine which had a combined output 1/3rd of the Wheat exports to the entire World before the worldwide drought in the 2020s - which that worldwide drought led to a Russian border city of Ukraine asking Ukraine for water and Ukraine saying no we won't give you water, the leader of Russia getting miffed, a war starting, and the town that needed water in worse shape than before the war. That takes care of the Silos, Barns, and Pantries, doesn't it?

How long? Well, given this world crazy started in March 2020, that means March 2026 is year 7 right - which makes 2027 something to think about.

I told churches and all. Somehow I'd talk to pastors and tell them. Nobody is preparing. No one. They all say Revelation has a million interpretations, most of them want to believe in pre-tribulation instead of the literal read-through, and when it comes to the literal interpretation, what men see and what John saw from heaven likely looks a lot different. What do fleshy eyes see? What do spiritual eyes see?

So, it's scary. At least, to me. And of course, since the churches who aren't preparing are going to all be aware of this, how far can they complain when they knew? They save for those in need. Those in need survive often because churches reached out to them. So... this whole idea is not cool. And there's nothing I can do about it.

Yea, but did you do the math? Yes, yes. The Jewish calendar ends at 6000 years, to God a day is a 1000 years. In other words, the entire Jewish calendar is God's work week. Revelation has a 1000 years of Jesus reigning the people, which is God's day of rest. 7 day week. Crazy, right? Yes, throw 7 years a seal, trumpet, thunder, 3 1/2 years of two witnesses, 3 1/2 years of the antichrist, a rapture, then 7 years per bowl of wrath for those who were left on Earth to suffer - it all nicely fits inside the 6000 years with decades to spare. There's some unknown spacing going on, so no one knows when any of these things will start.

Of course, after Seal 3 and some spacing, there's Seal 4 with a rider's name of Death. Are people going to prepare for Seal 4 who fear God with underground communities for the length of the Seal, or are they just going to do what the churches are doing now? Let's wait and see what happens, then we'll know what interpretation is right. Sheesh.

We are all scared of something. Give it to God. If you have to tell someone about it, talk to someone who's good to talk to, as opposed to bad to talk to. Sometimes people will surprise you.

God's got this. I don't know what's going to happen, but that black color is looking pretty bleak.

[valerielillis]

Hello! I hope I'm not bothering you this fine day. I was wondering if you have beta readers for your works, and if you do, how do you handle beta readers that take their role a little too far?

I.E.: They come at you over your grammar when they're supposed to focus on the story, or they pick apart your writing voice because it's not a common one, or even try to commandeer certain aspects of the plot because *they* feel like it's out of character when in fact it's a red herring or the information is a new revelation about said character?

I recently had a beta reader tell me that I need to rewrite the first several chapters because "it reads too much like the character talking to the audience". Which, is kind of the point but I can't reveal that in the first few chapters for plot reasons. Should I sacrifice major parts of my plot for the comfort of the reader?

I had another beta reader tell me that my characters shouldn't presume the know something that the reader hasn't seen yet, and for them to spout the information is confusing and ruining the story for them. How much am I supposed to cater to my audience before I'm writing for them instead of for me?

And a final few questions: I thought the point of writing was to be creative and share it with others? Since when did the audience become the author and we the machine to do it for them? What changed that brought creative writing to its knees with the authors who publish now being held in a chokehold to do what's popular instead of what they want? And finally, when did people get the right to tell you what you can and can't do with something as versatile as written word? Isn't the whole point of reading to be "find what ypu like, put away what you don't like"?

And coming full circle I'll ask again (sorry 😅), how do you handle beta readers that make you feel like that as an author? That go too far?

What I would recommend is taking a step back and asking yourself what you want out of your beta readers. Write the questions you want them to focus on in a document (1-2 pages at most) and then give that to them before they read the work. That should help them focus on what you think is important. (This may work best with your try-hard beta readers, normal beta readers that are just looking for a story to read might not need the guidance.) The point of writing is dependent on the author. If your goal is to create a work and share it with others, then that is the point of your work and unwarranted criticisms or advice won't change that. Another thing to always keep in mind is that you do not have to act on the advice given to you. You should not immediately discard it, but rather take a step back and ask yourself "is this going to help me improve my craft?" Sit on that question for a day so your emotional reaction to the critique has time to settle down.

If the advice will not help you improve, then set the advice aside. If it will, then test the advice out in a different project (a drabble or other short writing form) to get a feel for it before you alter your manuscript. Another teensy bit of advice I have is that you shouldn't give beta readers a partial draft. A 1-3 chapter segment isn't going to let them know why things are odd at the beginning. It raises all of the questions that you expect at the beginning of a story and gives none of the answers. Small segments like that are better suited for critique partners where you are looking for feedback on structure and form rather than if the story is entertaining or not.

[deadorcaffeinated]

Sparks, Pt. 2

Pairing: Loki/Reader

Summary: Loki is curious about a strange energy he feels before that fateful gala in Germany. He follows it to the source: You.

(Or that one where the Reader has been experimented on, given electricity-based powers, and falls right into the lap of the Avengers… as well as one particular God of Mischief.)

Chapter Two: You, In the Mirror

Summary: As the Avengers try to understand where you came from, you grapple with a few revelations.

A/N: Loki isn't really in this chapter, but don’t worry. More is coming.

TW: Body dysmorphia.

Read chapter one here

Tony and Bruce studied your MRI, specifically the strange scar tissue near the base of your skull, with a dim sort of horror.

“I don’t see a medical reason for these incisions,” Bruce said, his forehead growing more creased with consternation by the second.

Tony tapped his pen against the table with increasing restlessness, Bruce’s analysis doing nothing to soothe his concerns. “From what Rogers told me, it seems like she doesn’t know about his resurrection from the ice. Is there some way she could’ve missed that? Some weird anti-technology, Amish, German convent, or something?”

At that, an icy feeling sank into Bruce’s gut. The woman’s missing knowledge of the public world coupled with her undocumented abilities with electromagnetism and bizarre scar tissue, seemed to confirm his worst fears.

“Look, I was in Calcutta with no direct internet access, no cellphone, and I knew about Cap.” A sardonic edge crept into Bruce Banner’s voice. “Judging by her enhancement, and vitamin D deficiency, I’d say there’s a worse reason she missed out on one of the biggest revelations of the twenty-first century.”

They both glanced at a monitor, the screen of which showed your sleeping form in a hospital bed.

“Yeah. I was hoping that wasn’t it.” Tony’s face was uncharacteristically grim. A departure from his typical carefree affect. Bruce suppressed a shudder at the thought of human experimentation, knowing the consequences all too well. Tony pretended not to notice it.

“JARVIS?”

“Sir?”

“Can I get a facial recognition scan of every CCTV in the area from last night?”

JARVIS affirmed his request, and Bruce wondered what exactly Tony was looking to find in those scans. He raised an eyebrow at him, but Tony only supplied,

“Do we know how long she’s gonna snooze?”

…..

“No missing persons reports?”

Fury wasn’t used to being in the dark about much, but an enhanced individual with this amount of power popping up completely out of the blue was enough to grate on his steel-tipped nerves.

Oh, and not to mention the alien hellbent on world domination also bunking on the carrier. Fury knew with certainty that that S.O.B. had something else up his sleeve, and hated the feeling that he was only playing a waiting game. Hopefully Romanoff would have answers for him before it was too late.

Agent Hill pursed her lips the way that always preceded her delivery of bad news. “Nothing yet, sir.”

…

“Sir, we have a hit.” Coulson called, he was peering over the shoulder of one of their analysts. You appeared in a security tape, pulling a suitcase through a crowded airport, a weary slope to your shoulders. The time stamp— eleven months ago.

“She left on a flight from Houston to Munich, and disappeared from all public cameras and internet engagement until the past three days. Nearly a year, sir.”

The headache between Fury’s eyes intensified. “Any abnormalities before disappearance?”

“No, sir.”

Fury looked from Coulson, to the aggregating pile of disturbing information on his own screens, and his mind started whirring through the possible explanations that might make these disparate puzzle pieces click.

“So what happened in those eleven months?”

…...

When you wake, you are in a panic, bolting upright and ready to fight. And you do fight, at least for the few seconds it takes for the memories of the night before to come rushing back, somewhat like a fever dream.

The hands that stop you from ripping the IV out of your arm, and hurtling towards the doctor checking your vitals, belong to the man you saw in costume fighting the stranger from the bar. The Not-Cap. Except… God, how does he look so much like Steve Rogers?

His gentle hold on your forearms is easy to break, and he doesn’t continue trying to hold onto you when you shake him off, but this only confuses you further. Your eyes dart around frantically. The environment is entirely too familiar, and even after you recognize that you are not in the lab, your mind’s eye keeps shifting between realities. With how strange everything has been since you saw the man in the bar, you are afraid that you really are back in that hellish place, and this is just a mad dream happening between the shock therapies. That they finally succeeded in breaking your psyche.

“Are you alright?” Not Cap asks. You focus on him, blinking the sleep out of your bleary eyes.

Your heart is beating out of your chest, and you feel like a caged animal. Forcing breath into your lungs, you finally manage, “I… Where am I? Who are you?”

The blonde man shares a look with your doctor, who is also the slightest bit familiar to you, though you cannot place him.

“Let’s start with the second question.” A new voice, one that you actually can place speaks from the doorway, and you peer around Not Cap to confirm the bizarre suspicion you have. “Do you know me?”

Your stomach drops when the man comes into your line of vision, and you are right about your assumptions. “Tony Stark.”

You hope no one else hears the sound of your sanity snapping like a rubber band in the back of your skull.

His eyebrows raise in pleasant surprise. “And him?” he points to the blonde man in front of you.

Studying his face, you are afraid to say what you think. Afraid they may laugh, transform into the scientists who studied you, and reveal the whole thing has been an experiment.

“I don’t know who you are,” you say, and the man’s eyebrows knit together at your admission. “But… you look… God, you look exactly like the actual Captain America. Like from the forties.”

At that, the three men all share a look that makes you itch. It seems calculating but… worried, somehow? You can’t help but pipe up. “What?”

“Do you remember what happened to Steve Rogers towards the end of World War II?” The doctor’s voice is soft, calming. Or, it would have been if your world view weren’t shifting on its head at the current moment. You nod your head to his question. “A few months ago, his plane was found in the Arctic. And him too. He was… Still alive.”

The doctor’s eyes flick between you and the man next to you. Your jaw drops at what they are insinuating, and you turn to lock eyes with the person who should’ve been dead for seventy years. His features are twisted into an almost… apologetic expression.

“What we don’t understand is… How you didn’t know about him,” says Stark. “When the news broke, it was all anyone talked about for weeks. One of the biggest discoveries of the last twenty years, and yet…” He gestured towards you with one hand. “You had no clue until this moment. So… How does that happen?”

Oh.

For a second, you stupidly consider lying, of telling some tall tale about being secluded in the wilderness away from society and internet and cell service-- all because something in you is unreasonably terrified of the punishment that might befall you if you gave away their secret.

You push down the strange paranoia. They don’t have you at their mercy anymore. Besides… if Captain America and Tony Stark were truly standing in front of you right now, maybe they could put a stop to what the lab was doing.

You look up from your thoughts to find all three of them staring at you expectantly.

“It’s… kind of a long story.”

“Best to save it for the Director. Don’t want to have to tell it twice.” A woman strode into the room, carrying something in her hands that you couldn’t identify. She had red hair, wore a black, tactical catsuit and… was one of the most beautiful people you’d seen in quite a long time. “I’m Agent Romanoff, with S.H.I.E.L.D.”

She smiles warmly at you and places what she was carrying at the foot of your bed: a pile of neatly folded fabrics. “A change of clothes,” she says, then regards all three men in turn. “Director Fury is calling a meeting in thirty minutes.”

They take that as a cue to leave the room, though Steve lingers for a moment. He regards you with something soft in his eyes, and your heart almost twists at the compassion of a stranger.

“I know how overwhelming all of this can be, believe me,” he says, ”But you can trust us, okay?”

You don’t know about that. Him, you already felt a thread of trust towards— he was Captain America for godsake— but… this facility? This S.H.I.E.L.D.? The jury is still out.

But instead of voicing any of this, you simply dip your chin in a weak nod, and he leaves you alone with Agent Romanoff.

“Would you like to wash up? I can show you the facilities,” Agent Romanoff offers.

You feel your cheeks heat up again, thinking of how you must look right now, especially in front of someone so attractive. The thought of seeing your own reflection fills you with apprehension… in the last year, you had not seen yourself but in slivered reflections of random glass or metal, as the lab did not allow mirrors in patients’ rooms. Then, when you’d escaped and found a public restroom, you had avoided all mirrors like the plague.

Agent Romanoff notices your hesitation. “Hey,” she says, “It’s okay. I can help you with anything you need. Come on, I’ll be with you the whole time.” She offers a hand to you, which you slowly take, and she helps you out of your bed.

“But also, if you tell me to get lost, I’ll do that too.” She chuckles softly, and though you don’t laugh, you are grateful for her friendliness.

She shows you the showers, and leaves you with two bags of toiletries-- one that is a simple navy, and the other that is a colorful, floral print. She points to the second one, “This one is mine, you are welcome to anything in there. The standard issue one doesn’t come with a hairbrush.”

She scrunches her nose, as if the neglect to include a hairbrush is a crime of some sort, and this does earn a smile from you.

“I’ll be right outside if you need me.” She starts to leave.

“Thank you, uh, Agent,” you say.

With another smile (you notice she tends to smile with just one side of her mouth, which is very appealing), she offers, “You can just call me Natasha, if you like.”

When she shuts the door, you look at the shower like it might bite you. Hot showers feel like something you did in a dream life, as the warmest they allowed in the lab was barely above freezing-- something about how the heat discouraged the buildup of static electricity that was important to their tests.

Spurred on by spite alone, refusing to let your thoughts hold you back, you jump in and fiddle with the knobs until the water coming out of the showerhead is hot enough to give off steam. You sigh into the heat, and it’s so pleasurable, you nearly forget that you’re there to bathe.

After washing your hair and scrubbing every inch of skin on your body until you are nearly raw, you finally decide to get out of the shower. Cool air meets your face and you drink it in, wrapping a towel around your body.

And then, the mirror.

Your hair is longer than you remember. The contours of your face are exaggerated and gaunt, your skin having taken on an unhealthy pallor. Slowly, you lift the towel away to take in the state of your body, trembling as you do. You’d never seen yourself this thin before, and you’re taken aback by the way your ribs and hips show themselves in a way they never have. You look like a husk of someone you used to know.

Something in you wants to break. You feel like doubling over but you just stand there, alone, staring numbly at someone you do not recognize. Forcing yourself to return to your body, you ground yourself by trying to identify feelings, sounds, smells— a technique you had often used in the labs to calm yourself. You turn away from the mirror.

Eventually, you regain enough control to dress yourself, and do not look into the mirror again until you have covered your body once more. The clothes Natasha gave you are a plain black long sleeve shirt, and simple olive green pants with a drawstring at the top. You’re grateful for her choice in your attire, and notice there are also socks and a pair of boots by the door. Tactical and standard military issue, by the look of them. Better than your ratty pair of canvas slide-ons from the institution, at any rate.

You peak into Natasha’s bag just out of curiosity. She has a refined taste, as it is lined with what you know to be high end products, but there are two items in particular that really catch your eye: a facial moisturizer and a sample-sized bottle of perfume.

You squeeze out a small, pearl sized dollop of the moisturizer, delighting in the feeling as it glides over your skin. After that is done, you dab a tiny bit of her perfume onto your wrists. The scent of it washes over you, and you marvel at Natasha’s excellency in choice once more, trying to identify the notes of the divine perfume. It is a balance of light fruit and florals, with a musky woodsiness hiding underneath. Cedar, jasmine, apple, amber…

With a start, you realize you feel… somewhat like yourself again.

With a new resolve, you go to the door to meet Natasha.

Tags: @purplekitten30 @scorpionchild81 @mjaudrey @srhxpci

[esther-dot]

He has all this king foreshadowing and training on how to be a good leader for what? He’s dead rn, has to suffer through taking down the Targs and defeating the Others, and then he’s just sent away?

This is exactly why it pisses me off because his arch must have a purpose. I don’t necessarily want him to end up as King (I am not an Arya stan), but all that training for nothing? So, he is going to be the hero defeating the Others and then he will ruin his life having to take down his fire loving aunt. The moral of the story is that Rhatgar’s cursed blood wins in the end and weighs more than his Stark blood. That is pretty awful. Children paying for his father’s sins. Not even GRRM can pull that off and make it satisfying.

(in reference to this ask)

I think the "sins of the father" is certainly an idea that Martin is playing with, but it's manifested in how kids adopt or reject things about their father figures and whether or not their choices align with them, not a destined by blood thing, but molded by mentors/experiences which is exactly why such an ending is offensive because it feels like we're ignoring all of that.

We see how others are taking dark paths (Dany who will ultimately fulfill her father's dream of burning KL) and we know that Jon has totally rejected taking what he wants at the expense of others (he won't take Winterfell, unlike Dany who will try to take Westeros), and he won't kill innocents (unlike Dany who doesn't purpose to but rationalizes it as a necessary evil). He can't do it. So, it makes no sense that he would bear punishment for the Targ legacy/sins of his father when he's rejected those tendencies completely. I mean, he's even already rejected marrying --stealing-- a woman even though he desperately wants a son. It's a bit pointed that he is not Rhaegar's son. I just can't see Jon adopting any of the toxic Targ stuff, he's already rejected all the aspects of it!

We also have Tyrion who knows his father is evil and hates him, yet, can't seem to reject the mentality of his family, and in spite of being something of a decent guy and offering Sansa the chance to marry someone else, he is tempted by Tywin's schemes and does cooperate/seek to benefit from his father's crimes and become Lord of Winterfell. I suppose that's the point that as much as he hates Tywin, the repetition of the Lannister slogan and how Tyrion always talks about Lannister gold means he hates it, but hasn't/won't truly reject the harmful legacy.

That could connect with Jon’s upcoming story. If he does try to harness the dragons (with good intentions!) he may become entangled in the Targaryen legacy of destruction because he’ll be bound to Dany by oaths he can’t escape and then kill her when it's the only option left. That’s a possibility, the one we saw play out in the show, but like you, I object to how it seemingly ignored the distinction between intent. Dany and Tyrion did things for personal gain and cause suffering for others, they're out for revenge that will lead to the death of countless others, and Jon was trying to do what was right. It isn't the same thing at all, and we know book Jon isn't going to do a 180.

Jon was born the son of a Targ but raised by Ned. Since, he’s had several other mentors, including a man who made the weapon that was used to kill Rhaegar. The idea of the son killing the father is presented in Jon chapters again in Ygritte’s story of Bael the Bard, and Jon had these moments where new mentors challenge the old and he does revert to Ned’s teaching about looking into a man’s eyes before killing him. So, in spite of having a lot of additional influences, he hasn’t stopped being Ned’s son and it’s preposterous (to me) to imagine that he would upon the revelation of his biological dad.

Instead it seems that Jon will work to rectify some mistakes of his fathers (metaphorically killing them). Ned’s decisions left Arya and Sansa vulnerable, so I assume that Jon will be given the opportunity to rectify that mistake and protect the girls/the Starks. Rhaegar’s interest in Lyanna led to her death, so I assume Jon’s love for Sansa will save her. Instead of going to war against the Starks/rebels to secure Targ rule (like Rhaegar), Jon will be defending the Starks/Westeros (like Ned). I’m not sure if this is a total switched legacy idea, but part of this could be that Bran, son of a man who wasn’t concerned enough about the threat of the Others will defeat them while Jon, son of a man who was obsessed with it, won't be involved and instead kill the Targs, each picking up the other's father's role. I mean, I still have this fear Martin will romanticize Rhaegar in some way, but now that I think about it, Rhaegar's ambition was to grow the Targaryen family (prophecy baby) and Jon will end the Targs which feels like a direct repudiation of his father. And I mean that he will stop the Targ from reinstating the dynasty, I don't think rejecting his dad means he can't have children himself because Jon is meant (I think) to show us that it isn't about blood, it's about the beliefs/goals of these legacies/individuals.

All that interpretation aside, you're right. Jon has suffered for Ned's sin (fathering a bastard) for the majority of the series. If Jon is to be punished in the end, whatever circumstances Martin can concoct to justify it, it unavoidably will look like Jon suffered for something he couldn't help (and was a lie anyway), and then he will suffer for the truth, even though he can't help that either. I don't think Martin means to tell a story in which blood determines destiny no matter what your choices are, I think he's examining what people do with the legacies they're born into. Do they perpetuate it, reject it, redefine it? So it's a weird ending (if it his ending) since thus far, Jon is making selfless choices. He's the best of what Ned was and will only receive punishment for it. If we don't believe the show's endgame, all of that is different, obviously.

IMO, this mess of Jon learning he's a Targ and then having to fight them has always been the biggest argument for Jonsa. Something good has to be coming Jon’s way, something good has to happen as a result of parentage reveal or the next two books are just more misery for him. Jonsa is the one personally good thing that could come from this. Perhaps the only good thing if his ending is exile or going to the Watch. I would hate any ending in which Jon is punished, but that's because I'm not fond of tragedies. If Martin is determined to give Jon one, he would do his best to make it unavoidable, the price for peace and evidence of Jon's love and loyalty to the Starks, so I think he could make it something we cry over while thinking it's beautiful (in a way). The problem is the implication about blood damning characters that you highlighted and also the fact the he wants the Starks to be in positions of power. I don't know how he aovids the first and reconciles the second. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[bestbonnist]

Chapter 141.2

Izumi backstory! IZUMI BACKSTORY!!

OK before I begin analyzing the actual content in this chapter, I'd like to discuss why Fushi is so lenient with Izumi in particular despite having talked to her only once for two seconds. This could be explained by Fushi's tendency to view all humans as fundamentally good, or their wish that Mizuha has a happy life surrounded by supportive people, but I think an exchange from Chapter 125.2 leans towards a different interpretation. After Mizuha shares how Izumi lied about where she got the new hairband, Fushi says this:

Mizuha quickly shuts them down, but when they take Izumi's side it implies that they relate more to her than they do to Mizuha. They later prove that they personally believe this is a reasonable decision when they hide the fact that the world isn't peaceful from their friends later in the manga.

I thought Satoru left in the previous chapter, but no, he's really been dragged to a fast food place at 12:00 A.M. Sumika must be having a fit. He hasn't really done much since he appeared in the previous chapter, but before they disperse for the night he'll probably have something to say.

Yuuki is really, really pushing to do what Hirotoshi did. It suits his optimistic personality but "making Mizuha want to live again" isn't possible. I've said this before, I'll say it again: Mimori was put in a position where she was forced to say she wanted to live, or else someone would die. That's not a choice, and it's not the "living for herself" that Hirotoshi said he wanted her to do. Mizuha and Mimori both lived for the sake of their mothers instead of themselves, and it didn't turn out well. Replacing one botched relationship with another won't change a thing, as Fushi has successfully proven. The relationship between Mimori and Miyabi never developed at all, we were given context and then Mimori was stuffed back into her old life with no elaboration.

The flashback of Fushi's talk with the Left Hand from Izumi's perspective is intriguing, because I think it's from the moment when Fushi was talking with Mizuha, when she asked them to love her and for a hug. Izumi saw that and realized that (1) her daughter has a desperate need for comfort and affection and (2) said need comes from the absence of those things from her family. That's when she had her big revelation, processed it quietly, and then continued to follow Mizuha until the confrontation in the rain where she decided that Mizuha was too far gone to bother saving.

And so we get Izumi's backstory. Fucking FINALLY. So first thing is that she's talented but unable to connect with others just like Mizuha is, but while Mizuha never stops trying to make friends, Izumi doesn't bother being cordial with her classmates. They're both very aware of their pride and look to others to accept it. Izumi's latched onto Mizuha as the only one who can affirm her, and Mizuha's done the same with Fushi.

A little bit of lore surrounding the knockers and Hayase's descendants is sprinkled into the story: "everyone says they were mankind's enemy" means that most people believe that the knockers, at one point, existed, unlike Fushi who's considered a legend or maybe an exaggeration of a real person. The Left Hand has been elevated to a position of power within the Defense Corps. too. Instead of something kept around to serve Hayase's descendants it's now considered holy. Interestingly, the focus of the Defense Corps. also seems to have shifted from Fushi to Hayase. Kahaku has not been completely erased from the narrative like I thought he was, but the way Izumi's dad describes things it sounds like the Left Hand was the one defending Renryrr side by side with Fushi with Kahaku tagging along, when in reality the Left Hand was an impediment. His phrasing also implies that the Left Hand going to Paradise was a chosen ascension to a higher plane of existence instead of Kahaku's effort to destroy it for good that it desperately tried to avoid.

As we see how Mizuha was initially raised, it looks like there was a healthy separation between her and Izumi unlike what they had before she died. Mizuha enjoyed trying lots of different things but it doesn't look like she was particularly skilled at any of them, she was putting her all into it and Izumi was proud of that.

I've been wondering why Izumi ended up marrying a white guy. Visually, it adds contrast to a character who hasn't really done anything other than exist in the background. At first I thought it was to add to the distance between Mizuha and her peers: most of them are of the same ethnicity while she is not. But as I began inferring more about Izumi I also thought she chose to marry someone as far removed from the Defense Corps.—a cult that hasn't garnered enough influence to spread outside Yanome—as she thought possible, which was apparently not far enough. Either this man was raised in Yanome but lied about it, or is a foreigner who moved to Japan, meaning the Defense Corps. got him hooked really quickly, or they do reach outside of Yanome and Izumi never knew.

Although Izumi's husband insists he didn't marry her solely on her dad's orders, his first move after she finds out is to take advantage of Mizuha's distress to get Izumi to back down. Maybe he really does love them, but preserving his position in their family matters more to him than their happiness.

So now we understand a lot more about who Izumi is as a person, and even if the next chapter doesn't finish this flashback we can still infer what happens next. Izumi and Mizuha were quite similar when they were younger. But the key difference, and what caused Izumi to raise Mizuha in the way she did, was her stubbornness. She needs Mizuha to be the proof that she's in the right, which she thinks will give her hope to live, by having Mizuha follow in her footsteps and succeed where she failed. Anything else would be akin to admitting defeat, and Izumi will not. If Mizuha's running into a brick wall, she shouldn't change direction: she just needs to push harder.

The final panel where Izumi's clinging on to Mizuha mirrors the one where her father grabbed onto her in their cluttered house on an earlier page. I think that says enough on its own.

[guigz1-coldwar]

'A ghost in town': New chapter for "Redemption in a Spirit in a Cold War" is out !

'A ghost in town'

"Question...is your turtleneck good-looking enough for me or not, Park?

Chapter Summary: Yirina & Park are both surprised & shocked to learn that Harry Stone that they killed in Cuba 2 months ago wasn't dead at all as another surprise awaits for them...

Link of the Picrew used !

To read it on AO3, click here!

Words : +3200

Taglist : @snowgoldwaylon , @clxudtea , @efingart

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Harry Stone...If there were a name that we didn't want to talk or even heard now was this particular one but this is what came out of Park's lips after she hanged up the phone, looking at me with the most confused face I could have ever seen and me, I was following the same mood inside of me, shocked & confused at hearing this. I didn't see happen but it was clear, Park, me & SAS lived what happened that day in Cuba, I'm the one pulling the trigger on Stone's gun who killed him, and....how he can be alive? I shot him!

I think I never saw Park standing up from her seat in a fast move, her chair hitting the wall behind it almost brutally while she took back her jacket and quickly walked out of the room with me, trying to copy her moves. It was better for me that I don't speak at all during the whole walk as looking at her, seeing her fists clench all along the way, almost ready to punch anyone that was going to step in front of her, and frankly, I prefer to not be that person.

She was walking this fast that around the hallways of the building to join Zasha's team office that it was sort of exhausting, her not stopping at all or taking a simple breath to calm herself down with me and it's with that attitude that when we arrived in front of the door leading to our destination, she opened the door widely, nearly at the point that she could have removed the door from its frame.

"You better hope that's a joke, Sarah!" She started, her hand pointing towards Sarah who was standing near Peter's desk, him sitting on his chair as Zasha & Portnova were here too, waiting for us, and leaned against the front Sarah's own desk. "I don't like to joke on that," She added.

"Hey, I'm not saying anything funny, miss Park," Sarah defended herself, putting her hands above her heart.

"You don't know how much I'm not that pleased to hear that, if it's a joke, it's not fucking funny," Park warned her, sounding very serious, a voice that could kill everyone around her...including me.

"Calm down, Park," I suggested, stepping between the two in the case as Park wasn't removing her angered face against Sarah, having to put my hands on her chest to make her fall back. "Anger isn't helping, calm down, okay?" I said, looking at her but that face wasn't getting away.

"Yirina, it ain't a joke at all," Zasha's voice intervened, making me turn my head around to see them crossing their arms as Portnova had her both hands together. "She showed us the proofs," They added, gesturing with their head towards Sarah.

"Is it right?" I asked nonetheless to Sarah, keeping Park under control, calmer than her.

"Miss Grigoriev, what we got isn't making us laugh," Peter spoke up, tapping his finger on his desk at a slower pace.

"I saw it happened: I shot Stone in the shoulder through mine," I protested, seeing him looking down at his hands.

"That wasn't Stone at Cuba, miss Grigoriev," Sarah called me out as she handed to me a medical report of Stone when his body was taken from the Cuban compound. "Here's one of the proofs we got," I took her file in my hands, checking up, and by looking at it, everything was looking clean.

"What's wrong with that?" I demanded, confused as I gave gently the report to Park who looked it up.

"You didn't see what was wrong with it?" Sarah raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms at me as the others were staying silent to me & Park as if they wanted us to guess the answer on our own.

"The blood type..." Park muttered in a low voice as she lowered the report in her hands along with her body slides. "We didn't even check the bloody blood type," She continued, sniffing away in anger before she throws hardly the report on the ground, the others not moving an inch from their positions.

"The blood type?" I narrowed my eyes, avoiding the report at my feet, to look at Sarah.

"Stone's blood type is O+, this report said that it's A-," Portnova was the one who gave me the answer. "The person that you killed in Cuba wasn't Stone but a double," She continued, going off the desk but staying near Zasha.

"Even if we did multiple checks, that detail managed to be hidden," Zasha told us, the palms of their hands moving to grab the side of the desk they were leaned on. "We send a copy of this to the director but also the SAS,"

"How did you discover it?" Park demanded, seemingly calm in her voice but I prefer to stay near her in case, seeing her fists still clenched.

"I was crossing around some report until I was given something," She replied, Portnova putting her hands on Sarah's desk to grab something and gave it to me, it was an envelope...'For the Majesty's Secret Services from Perseus'...that was marked on it with a marker pen, and then, I took my hand inside the envelope and take out a picture. "That's what makes me curious," My eyes went wide at seeing that picture in black & white.

On it, we could see Lukas Ritter but he wasn't alone at all. Near him, a man was wearing some glasses with a sort of leather jacket, hands up pointing towards Lukas and..the third man was none other than Stone himself, wearing the very same military outfit he was always having in those pictures of him each time my eyes were on them...but also in the memories he was involved in. The picture was having a date on it, it was taken one day ago...in London.

I kept the picture in my hands as I showed it to Park who wanted to take it inside her hands but she was looking ready to tear it apart, judging by the face she was making. I even had to get my right hand on her left shoulder to keep her calm at the moment before she took a deep breath, looking away from me and the others to sit on a chair that was near Peter's office.

"The MI6 wasn't the only one that was sent that picture," Sarah explained as I gave her back the picture. "We've got a phone call from the MI5, saying that they received it too," She added, moving to get back to her desk, Zasha & Portnova moving aside to be next to Zasha's office door.

"When Sarah received that, we decided to check up everything we got on Stone and we found a lot of things with him," Peter elaborated, getting himself well in his seat. "We concluded that Stone is still alive,"

"Yes, that's mean he's becoming again a priority," Zasha breathed, scratching the back of their head, looking at my feet. "That shit...dammit," They cursed.

"Did you know anything about a double, Portnova?" I asked Portnova, knowing that she was the third one in the room that could tell us more about him since she worked with him in her time in Perseus.

"No, that's the first time I heard of it," She responded in a serious voice, shaking her head as her hands were on her waist. "That wasn't something we would have heard of, Stone always been a man making his things away," She commented.

"That's always been like him," Park's muffled voice was heard through the palm of her hands as she was holding her face. "Faking his death, I know that and he did the trick again," She stated.

"How's that?" Peter questioned her with curiosity.

"One year ago, we got signs of a criminal mastermind in Leningrad and I was sent there to investigate," Park started, removing her hands away from her face as she slowly turned her head around to look back at everyone. "Stone was at that time, hidden under the nickname 'Janus' and he knows that I was going to be the one that the MI6 will send," She sighed before going up from her, rather better than a few minutes ago. "He made his revelation to me...and since, he became one of the MI6 top targets until we ended him...until now,"

"How a man like him can always escape from us?" Peter demanded, sounding & looking confused.

"Because he's thinking higher than us, that's the thing," I answered like that to him, crossing my arms and walking to lean myself on one of the walls of the big office. "I know him too and he wasn't very friendly, thinking for his own," I complained, biting with my teeth the left part of my bottom lip, a bit distraught by that news as I lean my back against the wall near the door leading to the hallway outside. "Apart from that, any other bad news?" I asked.

"We finally found who was this I.B from the transmissions," Zasha exclaimed, getting mine & Park's attention to them who gestured towards Sarah with their head.

"Name's Ingo Beck, a former operative of the Diensteinheit IX turned Perseus agent years ago in 1981," Sarah replied, adding to her words, tapping on another file looking like records as Park moved to get to it. "Said to be an explosives expert with a big sense of humor," She scoffed, her tone not looking funny for Park who looked at her with a deadly glare. "And...Uhm...he seems to be involved personally with Stone,"

"So, our I.B was an East-German operative...like Ritter," Park whispered, her eyes on the file.

"We discovered it inside another envelope that we received," Peter spoke up, grabbing another envelope on his desk and he showed it to us...'From a friend, take care of it'...this time marked with a red pen. "We make some research about it but nothing about who has sent this one...and the other one,"

"Nothing?" I said.

"Nothing at all, Yirina," Zasha responded at me, shrugging. "I tried to..." They tried to say before they were cut by the sound that was coming inside their office. "Wait, I think that someone's calling me," They thought before they moved to walk away, opening the door of their office and closing it behind them.

"Perseus sent to the MI6 and the MI5, picture of Stone to taunt us that he isn't dead and in London...and someone else sends to us, a file explaining who is this mysterious I.B," I basically resumed the entire situation now, actually trying to figure out anything wrong from it. "Dammit, how is this fucking possible? What Perseus is planning?"

"A lot of inexplicable things," Peter suggested, raising his shoulders.

"Petrov trying to kill me, sending Ritter & Beck in London and now with Stone, something's big is going to happen," Portnova recalled us, making a brief resume of the situation...now much worse than we thought. "In two words, we're in deep troubles,"

"Soon, the whole MI6 & MI5 will be on high alert so..." Peter talked until he was cut off by Zasha's door getting opened, having finished their call apparently.

"Yirina, Park, you're needed," They said and the first thing we did was to look at them with narrowed eyes, surprised. "A CIA agent is awaiting in your office right now," They added and by that, I was immediately having my blood froze in place...fearing the worst.

"Did he tell his name?" Park asked, eyes on me but her voice directed to them.

"Said he goes by 'Alex', that's all," They responded before Park passed her hands through her hair as I took a relieving breath...not so relieving after hearing that a CIA agent was in our office.

"Shit, we're going, we're talking about that later," Park sighed before she decided to walk away from the office, following her and leaving the others.

If the day wasn't going to be shitty enough, learning that Stone was still alive after all and that mission in Cuba, discovering the true identity of 'I.B', there was now a CIA agent that was inside on our own office just above us and even if it wasn't Hudson or even Adler, questions were flowing in me & Park, wondering what's the CIA is doing in London and why they wanted to see us in particular...maybe me...

Park was seeming calmer in appearance but deep inside of me, I knew that she was very tense that her anger could maybe appear again at any moment, it was like the first time I saw her angry like that...it was the first time I really saw her angry after all and I wasn't confused about it, knowing the history between her & Stone, that anger was understandable for me but now, is that meeting with this CIA agent was going to be good or wrong?

When we approached our office, the door was already widely opened, two men who were wearing the same type of clothes as Adler and guarding our own office, making us feel that we weren't at Century House in here. When the agents saw us arrived, they let us pass and we could see a man that was a bit taller than us, waiting near Park's desk, his face with some scars on his left part.

"You must be the famous Helen Park," The man started, his eyes focusing towards Park and his voice not looking very...happy.

"Yes, and you?" She asked, a bit curious.

"I'm Aleksander Smirnoff...but for you both, call me 'Alex'," He replied as I moved to offer my hand for a shake, staying polite above all but instead, he refused to hand over his hand to me. "I'm sorry but not shaking with woman, I don't like that," He told us.

"And why that?" I narrowed my eyes to him, getting my hand back along with my slides. *

"Because I have my reasons, that's all," He responded in a harsh tone, looking at Park with a deadly glare as she was moving at the other side of her desk, causing him to move away from it and getting next to me. "You know why I'm here, right?" He demanded to both of us.

"No, it wasn't said to us," I answered, crossing my arms as I lean against my desk, Park sitting in her chair.

"Well, to start, we got wind that one of the MI6 top targets faked his death," He revealed in a normal voice, getting his hands around his waist.

"Uhm...how did you know that?" Park questioned him, surprised that the CIA was already aware of the situation along with me.

"It was pretty simple: the CIA has ears & eyes everywhere in London," He said, turning around to look at me with a not trustful look.

"You, in the CIA, can't avoid spying on your own allies...typical," I mumbled, finding this type of move very something that the CIA is doing everywhere....fucking typical. "You'll never change, that's for sure," I added.

"Maybe what we're doing is to make sure that Perseus isn't making his moves everywhere, we're working with our allies, not spying on them, that's different," He corrected me but I was unconvinced by them, used to the CIA's lies against me. "Oh...you must be Yirina Grigoriev...the one that we call...

"Don't say that name," Park called him out, pointing her left index finger at him.

"Always been like that, miss Park," He sighed, looking at her with desperation. "Was it with that attitude that you caused the death of some of my friends in the CIA months ago?" He asked in a normal voice, pointing at her.

"What are you telling right now, Alex?" She demanded, her hands on the armrests of her chair, looking ready to get up very fast.

"Are you the woman who likes to..." He stopped himself to look at me with a smile. "Well...to play & manipulate like a little witch?" He finished his question and that wasn't something I liked and her too, going up from her seat to reach him.

"Park, don't," I stepped myself in front of her, putting my hand against her chest again to stop her in her walk, her fist already clenched for a punch. "He's trying to make you angry, don't cross that line, please," I pleaded, saying it silently at her, looking at her.

"Yiri, if you just..."

"Don't, please," I cut her gently in her words, pleading again, my hand feeling like struggling to stop her to move forwards in her path.

"You can hold her as much as you want, ain't going to stop her," Alex added in a normal voice again.

"If you can just stop what you're doing, it will help," I advised him, feeling inside of me that I could be like Park and doing it by myself. "Why are you here, to be frank with us?" I asked him finally, not looking at him.

"I'm here because I wanted to remind you of things," He started, hearing him walk away as Park was not removing her eyes from him, allowing him to know where he was in the room. "The CIA will be working on Stone, pleasing you or not," He said.

"I thought that you will stay focus on Perseus at Verdansk, right?" I muttered, finally turning my head around and keeping my left hand on Park.

"Let's just say that Stone's sudden reappearance did make us willing to make what you weren't able to do," He sounded a bit joking in his voice, feeling Park's chest struggling to get away from me. "And besides, you both are still under our watch as we're now chasing a ghost in town,"

"What do you mean?" I mumbled, narrowing my eyes at him as he was going to walk away from the office, standing in front of the door.

"As I said, the CIA has ears & eyes everywhere in London," He told us, making us remember his words earlier before he decided to get out of our office, his presumed friends guarding the door following him until they disappear from our sight.

"You should have let me hit him," Park suggested in a serious voice, her right hand moving gently above my left one.

"It wasn't going to help you and you're not the only one who resisted about it," I then move my hand away from her chest before looking down at our feet, a bit confused. "I don't want to see you angry, that's it," I whispered.

"I'm sorry, it's just..."

"Don't tell me, it was just to test your nerves, it's okay," I exclaimed, cutting her again gently. "With what we heard & learned, I can understand your anger," I continued, taking a deep breath while staying at the same spot. "Listen, this situation isn't really good but we're going to make sure that things came back right...including putting Stone back where he belongs," I proclaimed, passing my right hand through my redhead's hair.

"I know, we should stay calm...I should stay calm, maybe some coffee will help," She proposed and I nodded, looking back at her with a little smile on my face. "Do you want one?" She demanded at me.

"As it's nearly noon, we can maybe go out with Zasha & Portnova for lunch," I suggested to her and she nodded too, looking at her watch and seeing that it was almost noon, as I said to her. "If we can just go out and try to depressure a bit, it can be better, right?" She nodded again, a smile forming on her lips as I was wondering where we could go...

"Why don't we go to a Burger Town?"

[terramythos]

TerraMythos 2021 Reading Challenge - Book 2 of 26

Title: Authority (The Southern Reach #2) (2014) - REREAD

Author: Jeff VanderMeer

Genre/Tags: Horror, Science Fiction, Ecological Horror, Cosmic Horror, Mystery, Weird, Third-Person, Unreliable Narrator

Rating: 8/10

Date Began: 1/05/2021

Date Finished: 1/10/2021

John "Control" Rodriguez, a disgraced former spy, is given an opportunity to redeem himself at the Southern Reach, the clandestine organization that oversees the mysterious and horrifying Area X. The director has gone missing following the disastrous "twelfth" expedition in Annihilation. Control is brought in to take over her job and fix the Southern Reach... and perhaps find a way to combat the insidious, paranormal effects of Area X.

But Control soon discovers just how deep Area X's corruption infects the place. Even worse, failures of the past-- both his own and those of the Southern Reach-- return to haunt him in disturbing ways. Badly outmatched within and without, Control will need to do everything he can to save not only the organization, but himself.

The last fragment of video remained in its own category: "Unassigned." Everyone was dead by then, except for an injured Lowry, already halfway back to the border.

Yet for a good twenty seconds the camera flew above the glimmering marsh reeds, the deep blue lakes, the ragged white cusp of the sea, toward the lighthouse.

Dipped and rose, fell again and soared again.

With what seemed like a horrifying enthusiasm.

An all-consuming joy.  

Full review, some spoilers, and content warning(s) under the cut.

Content warnings for the book: some body horror but way toned down compared to Annihilation. Mind control/hypnotic suggestion is still a thing. Non graphic sexual content. Disturbing images. Without spoiling the entire book, there are several scenes that come off as gaslighting, but do have an alternate explanation. As before, a pervasive sense of unreality.  

While Annihilation is a deep dive into the horrors of Area X, Authority takes a step back. It examines the situation from the perspective of the Southern Reach, the organization that oversees the expeditions we got to know so intimately in the last book. Control is a newcomer, so he functions as a natural outsider perspective. However, he's far from naïve due to his past experience in what I have to assume is the CIA (just called "Central" in the book). It's clear from the get-go that the Southern Reach is falling apart with its ancient buildings, circular and helpless theories, dwindling funding, and bizarre office politics. While Annihilation frames the Southern Reach as shady and possibly complicit in Area X's existence, Authority demonstrates the government would be predictably bad at handling an unknowable cosmic horror zone over any length of time.

Though I noted in my Annihilation review that most of the mystery surrounding Area X remains just that, Authority casually drops two major revelations in the first few chapters. First is... it's definitely aliens, right? Like, that's the only explanation that tracks-- why everything about the place is anathema to humanity, why it's impossible for characters to fully understand it, why mimicry is such a major aspect, etc. If you didn't suspect this already, it explains a lot. In particular, the "colonization" terminology and imagery in Annihilation hits different in that context. I have a lot of feelings about how this series approaches the extraterrestrial, but I'll save that for my Acceptance review.

The second reveal is that Control is taking over for the former director of the Southern Reach, who is MIA following Annihilation's "twelfth" expedition. Who is the director? The psychologist-- the pseudo antagonist of the last book, who we know got Super Killed Off. Turns out she's important and probably not actually evil? The biologist is also inexplicably back, but something is off about her, and she insists on being called Ghost Bird now. Did the biologist truly return (counter to the ending of the last book) or is this one of the shells Area X sometimes spits back out into the real world? If she's the latter, Ghost Bird seems to have much more personality and self awareness than the others. It is interesting to consider an entity of Area X would willingly name herself.

So, Authority is a weird book. The horror element is still present, but toned down. Instead, there's a lot of focus on the new character Control, his past, and the workings of the Southern Reach. In some ways this is refreshing. Annihilation (and the finale Acceptance) are so deeply entwined with Area X it's hard to see what "normal" looks like, and Authority brings that perspective. Relatively speaking. Second, and this is a spoiler, much of that normalcy is a facade. Control is basically mind controlled (heh) by a faction in Central, and is unaware of it for most of the book. It comes across in little ways, like the anachronistic storytelling and Control's confusion/disorientation at times.

We also learn that Area X doesn't just contaminate things inside it, but things outside it as well... and it's been doing this for some time. As a result, there's always a sense of Area X lurking in the periphery, manifesting in strange and unexpected ways. Something I like is the background chatter Control overhears being lines from Annihilation, which he isn't aware of, but the reader sure is.

I've read this book a few times, and while there are things I really like about it, it's probably my least favorite of the trilogy. I think the slower pacing and different narrative approach have merits, but just aren't as interesting to me as the rest of the series. It's noteworthy that my favorite bits in Authority are the disturbing video of the first expedition and the sudden End of Evangelion-esque return of Area X near the end-- not the espionage and philosophical tangents that comprise most of the book.  There are several ideas that seem interesting but don't go anywhere, and those feel like a waste of space. I think Authority could be pared down to half its page count and still get across the same feelings and general concept.

Control is also not the most interesting protagonist, especially compared to previous and later characters. He's not terrible, but he spends most of his time just thinking in circles and observing mundane office politics. While this is fine at first it starts to drag as the story goes on. As I said, a lot of tangents go nowhere, and there's not much going on beyond those until well over halfway into the book. Control does have a hidden tragic backstory, and it's interesting enough, but it barely factors into the overarching Area X storyline outside some symbolic comparisons. He feels out of place, perhaps intentionally.

I do like the dry humor and observations Control brings and how they contrast with the intense tone of Annihilation. I can also see the appeal of having a more ordinary character, if only to bring context to the extraordinary. But the problem is Control isn't ordinary. He's the youngest member of a dynasty of professional spies! Yet somehow I just don't find him exciting compared to an antisocial biologist. I dunno. Ultimately Control is a pawn in the story, used and manipulated by other people, and (spoilers) this doesn't change in Acceptance.

I had similar dilemmas with VanderMeer's Ambergris books, particularly book two, so perhaps it's a fact about his writing. When it's good it's GOOD, but sometimes the things I like get lost in rambling narrative fluff. The question is whether getting through the less interesting parts is worth it for the really good parts. With The Southern Reach trilogy, I'd argue the latter. I have no issues with the style or pacing in Annihilation or Acceptance, and the overarching story is fascinating.

I've mentioned many times before that I usually struggle with book twos in trilogies, and this one isn't an exception. However, I do appreciate what Authority is going for on a meta and lore level when viewing the series as a whole. It does establish a lot of things that either explain earlier stuff or pay off later; it just takes a while to get to them. The context of everything else bumps this to an 8.   

[bella-gunn]

More Blue Exorcist conspiracy theories!

I apologize, first thing for this "Wall-O-Text"(tm), anyone who knows me reasonably well knows I have a lot of thoughts that turn into mountains of words.

Unfortunately I still haven't found a way to toggle from rich text to html on my phone app (if such a thing is even possible). I do pretty much everything with my phone, so I'm sorry, no pretty text cut here.

Without further ado...

yuri-egin-123 asked some fantastic questions and this is my humble attempt to answer them, theoretically.

"...going back to Yuri's past, when Rin first saw satan, did Satan feel it? because it has already been proven that Rin can feel powerful demons nearby and Satan also in chapter 107. Now, does Satan know that Rin has been in the past?"

Rin is powerful, true, but I don't think Satan would have noticed Rin for two really good reasons and one kind of theoretical reason.

Good reason #1:

Satan is incredibly arrogant. He can sense all demons, weak and powerful, but frankly he doesn't care because he knows he far out classes anyone else. So it doesn't make sense for him to take special notice of Rin in all the mess of demonic activity around him.

Good reason #2:

Rin is powerful, but he isn't more powerful than Lucifer, Mephisto, Egyn, Iblis and Asteroth, who are also in close proximity to Satan. Mephisto has been acting as Rin's personal tour guide, even Lucifer has ignored Rin in Mephisto's presence and they were in the same room practically face to face.

Theoretical reason:

Satan may not be able to tell the difference between Rin and his own power. The other demons respond to Rin's power just like it's Satan's, until Rin asserts control over his flames there is even some concern that they are actually Satan's flames. So I think it's unlikely that Satan would notice Rin because he would feel familiar and "same".

What. An. Ass.

"...and in question the shiemi, at first I thought she was a clone of Shemihaza but nevertheless in chapter 99.5 they said "your mother awaits". I do not think Shemihaza is the mother of Shiemi, maybe Shiemi is Shemihaza herself, do not you think?"

I agree with you 100%; I do not think Shemihaza is Shiemi's mother in the traditional sense. It's clear there is a connection between Shiemi's birth and Shemihaza but I think it is less direct than Shiemi being a Shemihaza clone.

As far as Shiemi being Shemihaza let's examine what we already know from the story so far.

There are two upper demon ranks, the Baal and the Sol, Satan is above all.

The Baal are the 8 demon kings, the Sol are the emperors of nothingness and creation, Armumahel and Shemihaza respectively.

The most recent chapter has given us suprising information; Armumahel is the source for holy water. Armumahel's influence "hollows out" humans, eventually making them "soul less", his influence on demons seems to cut their spiritual connection to Assaiah, sending them back to Gehenna.

This is wild, the whole thing from holy water to the experimental Illuminati weapons had me thinking:

If this is the power of nothingness made manifest in the material realm of Assiah, then what would the power of creation do!?

I have been turning this over in my mind since the Grigori representative called Shemihaza interacted with Lucifer in section 13.

Lucifer acknowledges the Grigori representative as Shemihaza but also appeals to their humanity. It is apparent the the Grigori representative was at one time human, but has put aside their humanity to take on the role of actually being Shemihaza in reality. This is no mere playacting, all signs point the the Grigori representative of Shemihaza as being a manifestation of Shemihaza.

Certainly there is some limitation, Shemihaza the Grigori isn't all powerful, but she is certainly well respected by Lucifer, who only respects power greater than his own.

Then there is the matter of Shemihaza the Grigori's seemingly unaging enterouge of obviously related people. They are all different shapes and sizes but they have very strong common traits, traits that are shared with the Lucifer clones.

Which brings me back to the question of Shemihaza's power in Assiah.

Creation much like Nothingness are broad concepts, without indulging in much philosophical navel gazing, I think the most obvious power of Shemihaza in Assiah would be making something exist spiritually that didn't exist before, perfectly opposed to and balanced with Armumahel's power to erase something spiritually from material reality.

As we learned from Reiji Shiratori and numerous other reminders, demons possess things that are spiritually aligned to themselves. It's somewhat problematic for the higher ranking demons, especially the kings, there is difficulty finding someone who is compatible, then they have the issue of their power destroying their host body.

So the section 13 researchers had two problems to solve:

1. Make the body resilient to demonic power.

2. Make the spirit compatible with the demon who will take possession.

The first problem was solved by taking tissue samples from Lucifer, Samael and Azazel, the three most powerful of the Baal.

It is obvious by the massive scale of the project, the images of the rows of birthing tables and cribs, that they tried surrogacy initially. It doesn't seem like that approach was entirely effective as they had begun using cloning vats/cylinders (Lucifer still uses that method currently so that indicates that it was a later and more successful method).

Out of the hundreds of clones there were only two successful clones (as in they suppoted posession): Ambrosius, a clone of Samael who was spontaneously possessed by Amaimon. There is some subtle indication Mephisto meddled, Amaimon certainly seems to owe him for something.

The other was Goro, the Azazel clone who was eventually possessed by Satan. Goro was not a perfect clone, he was damaged (if we go by Shiro's reactions) and was ultimately put in a semi vegetative state in a cloning vat because of his regenerative abilities.

There is something about that which is off putting to me. I kept getting hung up on the idea that this clone, Goro, who was essentially fully developed was placed in a vat and he didn't decay, didn't degrade. Bodies don't work that way, they begin to adapt to their environment on a cellular level, his skin at least would have been extremely damaged from years of submersion and any liquid medium he could have been placed in that would arrest that process is not conducive to keeping him alive.

With the revelation of where holy water came from it smacked me in the face; the liquid in the cloning vats is derived from Shemihaza.

This "water" derived from Shemihaza may be the base of the "elixer" and a sort of fountain of life but I wouldn't be in a hurry to fill up a cup! At best it is very unpredictable and difficult to control such a broadly active substance, after all you would want to grow new cells at a controlled pace, otherwise you end up with something cancerous like and truly monstrous. Michael Gedouin and all those poor people he experimented on are a cautionary tale.

Also, it seems that long term exposure to Shiemihaza's "water" may have the opposite effect of Armumahel's "water" and make things in Assiah more susceptible to possession.

Of course this is conjecture, there is nothing in the book that says I'm right, but it makes sense and explains why Shemihaza, the Grigori, is so involved in something as reprehensible as section 13.

Granted, the entire Grigori would have needed to approve and be involved with the project to some extent but we never see the other two, only Shemihaza.

Shemihaza is also deeply invested in Lucifer's decision and the outcome of the project in a way that indicates personal interest, which makes sense if you consider the spiritual and emotional connection of being the source of life for all those poor clones as well being, well, the Emperor of Creation. Even the misshapen more demonic clones that Lighting and Sugaro encountered would have been her progeny.

Going back to Shiemi, she shares certain characteristics with the Lucifer clones, namely blond hair, green eyes, a mysterious past and amnesia. Shemihaza's entourage identifies as her family so there is s very real possibility that Shiemi is a successful clone, not necessarily for Lucifer, but to be the next Shemihaza.

I think Mephisto was hiding her in plain sight, as it were, to keep her out of Lucifer's hands until the time was right for her to be brought to Shemihaza. She seems to have some disordered memories from her early childhood that relate to the garden she is taken to so it is very likely she was never in section 13. It is possible Shiemi was created directly by Shemihaza in the garden, which would explain the mother comment and her inclination towards growing things.

So I posit that Shiemi was created by Shemihaza, possibly from the Lucifer clone lineage, to be the replacement for Shemihaza the Grigori.

She is already most of the way to being able to channel Shemihaza, which she demonstrates by manifesting a forest to contain Rin just after his immolation. Obviously Mephisto knows something about it (poor Amaimon doesn't figure it out until it's too late for him to make a real marriage proposal, lol) and Shiemi's mom knows something because she told Sheimi enough for her to be prepared when the Grigori representatives came for her (very creepy people by the way, just a shade too perfect to be entirely human).

It will be interesting to see where things go but what really has me twisted up right now was Lucifer's casual demonstration that he has perfected the cloning method.

Up to this point we have operated under the assumption that the elixer was the only thing sustaining him and all of his efforts were going towards the creation of viable clones.

Now we know that not only does he have perfect clones for himself (which implies he appeared before Mephisto in a compromised body as strategy to keep Mephisto from knowing how effective his cloning process is) but he also has been collecting demons with regeneration abilities and is planning on cloning a body for Satan.

I have so many questions about this.

Satan seems to think his perfect body is running around, inconveniently occupied by his demon son, and would like to take it. But he is hanging around with his wimpy human son for some reason. Yukio is immune to the flames, all flames, has a temptaint so bad it's a wonder he wasn't posessed by a demon years ago except that he can't be possesed...

What do they want with Yukio?

Even better, why the hell did Lucifer give Yukio the Armumahel guns?

I think the answer is twofold.

They, Mephisto and Lucifer, are setting Rin and Yukio up for a showdown, a sort of battle by proxy.

Mephisto and Lucifer are playing chess to determine the fate of the world because they cannot fight each other directly.

So Rin and Yukio are pawns that are poised to become queens on the board.

My magic 8 ball says "as I see it, yes":

*Yukio will confront Rin, because Rin can't let Yukio go.

*When that happens Yukio will use the Armumahel guns and damage or partially remove Rin's soul; in that moment of weakness Satan will have his opportunity to possess Rin.

*Yukio will immediately realize he has fucked up and will try to fix his mistake by killing Satan, or at least removing him from Rin as much as possible.

*More Armumahel gun action......

If everything goes Mephisto's way Satan wil be reduced to a shade of his original power and banished back to Gehenna (serves him right for being such a prick and dropping a helicopter on Mephisto's head), Lucifer will have to concede defeat and back down as per their wager.

If everything goes exceptionally well Rin's soul may even be restored to his body (I have a feeling Shiemi would have something to do with that).

But either way the balance would be restored and Assiah would be preserved.

If Lucifer gets his way Rin's soul is forfeit, Yukio is a way more fucked up Abel than the original bible story, Satan gets his groove on, Samael has to step back, allowing Satan and Lucifer remake reality unopposed.

I think the reason why Lucifer needs Satan is because Lucifer has the power to collapse everything back to the moment of creation but that's the best he can do on his own.

Essentially that is suicide.

He threatened it before, when he was trapped in a decaying shell, unwilling to allow himself to return to Gehenna. But now that he has a viable means of sustaining himself, and Satan has entered the picture, his plans haven't changed so much as they have shifted.

He still wants to end suffering but now he wants to remake the world, not destroy it, and to do so he needs Satan's power.

To Mephisto, destroy to create anew or destroy permanently, is all the same. Everything that makes him demon king of Space and Time, everything that makes him himself will cease to exist. He *has* to oppose Lucifer's plans, to do otherwise is to negate his own existence, which is something Mephisto is not capable of.

@yuri-egin-123 , thanks again!

Which is cool by me, otherwise this story would have been over before it began!

[sweetmemories2606]

Gruvia Royal AU (chapter 6)

This one's pretty interesting. I loved writing the development of Zeref and Juvia's romance. I'm kinda really shipping them now (the perks of being a multi shipper).

Is anyone else a fan of Zervia?

Oh, and also, Briar. She's a great villain who was underused in canon, but I've given her a chance to have the spotlight. 

Anyways, here’s the info:

Story Title: Between Lies

Story Summary: Becoming Princess Juliet turns out to be far more interesting than Juvia had anticipated. An unexpected proposal leads to a dangerous mission that could prevent a war, but also ruin her life. New allies join her, but once Gray's location is revealed, she's forced to make a choice. Is there still a chance for them? 

Chapter Title: Changing

Chapter Summary: Months go by and Juvia and Zeref's relationship improves, but a certain revelation could pose a threat to his plan of marrying her. Meanwhile, a worried Gray asks Erza to return to Rainfall Village and check up on Juvia. Will they finally figure out that she's long gone?

Pairings included: Gruvia/Stingyu/Jerza (OTPS), Zeref x Juvia (Zervia) (OTP that probably no one cares about) Grayza/Juvia x Yukino (Juvino) (brOTPS)

Timeline: Avatar Arc (August-October of X792)

Link: Chapter 1, Chapter 6

Sneak Peeks: 

"Isn't it breathtaking?" Juvia watched the sunset with amazement.

"Certainly." Zeref wasn't looking at the sun.

"That's a cliché, Emperor." She looked back at him, a slight blush coloring her cheeks.

"I thought that people enjoyed clichés." He smirked.

"I usually do." If only Gray had looked at her that way before.

"You know what's another cliché?" Zeref asked and she raised a brow.

"What?" He wrapped an arm around her, bringing her close.

"Arranged marriages." Juvia shrugged.

"It's not as bad as I thought it would be." He smiled.

"I'm glad you think so." He stared at her for a few moments before leaning in and she didn't complain when he pressed his lips against hers.

                               -----------------------

Erza was silent for a while, lost in thought. "Well, I guess I was right after all."

"Right about what?" Jellal asked, confused.

"That staying away from Juvia behind is the only way to keep her safe." She frowned.

"With this Briar having you followed and hiring assassins to kill her, even sending someone else might put Juvia at risk." He concluded.

"We really underestimated the threat that they represent." Erza looked around for a moment, tense. "They could have spies anywhere."

"I can assure you that none followed us here." He reassured her.

Tightening her arms around him and leaning her head against his shoulder, she sighed again "Let's just hope that Gray will figure out Avatar's plan soon so that this can all be over."

[kbsinclair]

A Family of Martyrs Chapter 1

The sun was setting in the East, and the area was calm. Earlier in the day, the Shepherds had set up camp at the peak of Mount Prism. They decided to use their moment of peace to ponder over the information they have received from their Goddess. Yet, with the ruckus erupting from the war tent that was currently occupied by the Exalted family, rest was the last thing anyone could get.

"Are they still goin' at it?" Sully asked, wincing at the sound of intense shouting coming from the war tent. A noise that had continued without rest for over an hour.

Libra slowly nodded, grimacing with sympathy for the Exalted family, "Yes, and I doubt it will end anytime soon. A great burden has been placed upon them tonight, one I would not wish upon even the worst enemy of the Heavens." He wrapped an arm around his wife and began leading her to the mess tent, "Come, let's enjoy dinner with Kjelle. We should enjoy the time that we have together, and allow Robin and her family to sort this out for themselves."

The day had been a whirlwind of emotions. ______________________________________________________________

Naga hovered above them all, Her expression neutral. She exuded an aura of calm only possible as a Divine Being. It proved a boon to the beleaguered Shepherds, tired from the mad dash to Mt. Prism and morale low following Grima's Awakening. Her most recent bit of wisdom was anything but calming, however. As She stated, the only power capable of permanently ending the threat of Grima:

"... 'Twould be his own."

Frederick, ever stalwart and alert, was the first to react to this declaration, "He would have to end his own life?"

"Though our power is of equal measure, as I stated before, neither of us are capable of destroying the other fully. Only a power greater than our own, or our own power turned upon ourselves, could bring about our ultimate end," Naga said, the serene cadence of Her voice never wavering. "Unfortunately, I know Grima. His sole desire is to add to his own power and set ruin upon the world."

Robin lowered her head, voice low as she added, "Like… when he tried to unite the two of us, and I lost my memory in the field."

"Yes, fellblood. Had the merge succeeded, Grima's power would have increased two-fold, and the world would be naught but ashes. Fortunately, 'twas not so."

Robin flinched as she faced the Divine Dragon, "So you know of my lineage…"

"Yes, I sense your power, and the power of your offspring," Naga stated, drawing attention to Morgan and Lucina. Their faces grew hot under the sudden scrutiny and they averted their eyes from the others' gazes. Naga continued, "The darkness of the fell dragon resides in all three of you."

'My power…' Robin thought, the gears in her mind shifting as she pondered Naga's words, seeing perhaps the only hope they truly had, "Divine Dragon, what if I were the one to strike the final blow against Grima?"

All heads turned to Naga, and She in turn regarded Robin with an almost solemn expression. Her words seemed to be chosen carefully as She replied, "You are the avatar of the fell dragon, and thus possess a power like his. Were you to strike the final blow, the fell dragon would be unmade."

A cheer rose from the gathered Shepherds, hugs and kisses being shared in their revelry. Chrom released his wife from the bear hug he enveloped her in.

"This is great, my love! We can bring an end to Grima's terror once and for all!" he exclaimed. His triumphant grin made her body run hot with a rush of excitement and affection. Before she could reply however, Naga's voice rang out once more.

"However," She began, immediately commanding the Shepherd's full attention, "destroying a power like the Grima's is not so simple as dealing the final blow. Were the strike to be done with the Exalted Falchion, the power in the sword and dragon would simply cancel out. Because the power of Grima is an intrinsic part of you, when both you and he cancel out, you too will be slain."

A tense silence fell over the Shepherd's expressions falling into either shock or horror at the prospect of losing their beloved Tactician, and more importantly, a beloved mother and wife.

"That's… That's unacceptable!" Chrom cried, his face tightened frustration as he turned his head up to the Goddess, "Is there truly no way to end Grima once and for all without sacrificing Robin!?" His fists clenched and his heart sank simply at the mention of sacrifice. The Shepherds had come so far without losing a single man due to their tactician's brilliance, only to find that to achieve their goal they'd have to sacrifice the one who made that happen?

He refused to accept that.

There was a short pause. Naga's eyes swept over the crowd before Her, taking in their emotions and desires. Though She knew what She had to say next would make things no better, She felt that the humans before Her had earned the right to know ALL of their options.

"If you wish to end Grima forever, there is no way forward without sacrifice. Although, it need not be Robin who commits it." She raised Her hand and pointed to where Morgan and Lucina stood next to each other. "You two, children of the Exalted bloodline and the avatar of the fell dragon. The same power that resides in your mother resides in your blood as well. Were one of you strike the final blow, Grima would be eliminated permanently. However, your Exalted blood would not be enough to save you, and you would perish along with the fell dragon."

Morgan and Lucina shared a glance, unsure of how to respond to the revelation of their new found responsibility. Morgan's face had sunken, unsure of himself, while Lucina's held a firm resolution only she understood yet her sadness was clear. The rest of the Shepherds simply stood in silence as they tried to process what they had been told.

Naga decided to let them go, as She understood the knowledge She bestowed upon them was much to bear. "You may rest here on the Mount. You have made a long journey, have faced many powerful enemies, and have been given a very difficult decision to make. With the Fire Emblem it is within my power to hasten the passage of time here, allowing you more time to rest without worrying for the destruction Grima causes in your absence. I shall retire to my temple. Should you require more of me, do not hesitate." ______________________________________________________________

"Absolutely not!" exclaimed Robin as she slammed her fist onto the war table. The tiny figures representing soldiers jumped and scattered across the many maps that littered the table. Robin was red in the face, veins bulging as she glared at her daughter Lucina.

"Mother, Grima is my destiny, my responsibility! This is my fate, not yours!" Lucina yelled back with force equal to her mother's. Her face was an similar shade of red and her fists were clenched so tightly she nearly drew blood from her palms even through her fingerless gloves. Morgan sat in the corner, head tucked into his lap with his hands secured over his ears, the weight of the pressure making him want to hide, but he wanted to believe that this could be a sign he could really do something great with his life.

Chrom chose this moment to interject, "Both of you stop!" His face was drooped due to his exhaustion not only physically but emotionally. Ever since Naga released the Shepherds and they set up camp, his family immediately came here to discuss their new information. Which then led into this verbal battle which has gone on for quite some time. "Why will neither you of stop and consider all of our options?"

"Shut up, Chrom!/Be silent, father!" Came the responses, their twin glares solidly focused on him.

Morgan had finally had enough. He rose and screamed as loudly as he could, "STOP IT!"

His family all turned to him in shock. They had forgotten he was with them in the tent. He hadn't contributed to the argument, causing their focus to narrow on each other instead.

Morgan ran his eyes over his family, tears threatening to fall from his eyes. "We shouldn't be fighting each other like this! We're family! This isn't… this isn't right!"

The four looked at each other, Robin and Lucina breathing heavily as they did most of the arguing. Seconds passed before Robin spoke up, "Morgan is-" she stopped to cough, her throat weak from the strain of raising her voice. "Morgan is right. I'm sorry Lucina, Chrom. I let my temper get away from me."

Lucina averted her gaze from her family and trained on the ground beneath her feet. "I apologize as well, father, mother, Morgan."

Chrom took the opportunity presented, "We are all very tired, and not very calm right now. This… problem we have, deserves us at our best, not at each other's throats. Let's rest for the night, and continue this tomorrow. Naga has guaranteed us enough time for that, at least."

The other three agreed, and slowly they made their way out of the war tent to join the rest of the Shepherds for dinner. Though the issue remained unresolved, they were able to put it aside for now and follow Chrom's advice.

 And there’s the first chapter of my first fanfic, posted here, on ff.net, and on AO3 if I ever get approved! Special thanks to my two wonderful editors CloudyLightning and tiger002 for their help! Hope you liked it! Let me know what you think so I can improve!

[shantihades]

001

Only Mine Chapter 1.

One of my wattpad stories

Hope you enjoy🌹♥️

-_____-

⚠ Warning : Gore, Violince, Grammar mistake, wrong written words, blood, etc

Year: 1087

The wind brush over your skin, you breath the air out and in your lungs, It's cold outside. It's winter, you could see your own breath.

It was like yesterday, your parents told you that you got cursed. From nobody else than the Mother of Ryomen Sukuna, the now king of curses.

His Parents made him like that, his Father Punished him for unnecessary things. He was beautiful when he was young, that's why his own Mother Raped him.

His Mother was so Jealous about your Parents relationship, so she cursed the child.

Now you're here your chin on your knees, looking up in the stars. Letting out your Curse form.

Your eyes whiter as the snow, glowing energy coming out of them as if white strings are transforming Lashes. Red small horns and a Tail with an spade Form in the end.

*crack*

You flichend at the sound Transforming back, why you brought it even up? The curse sight from you is mostly not to hide. It's hard and cost much energy to hold it back, to hold your cursed side. You try it Often, you went even to the Gojo-clan which exercise curses.

It's still hard as a half curse, you don't belong anywhere. The most thing that scare you, is dying. When you die, you'll be fully a curse.

You knew that the clan didn't care about you. They didn't even care to train you, also they were scared. Your almost so Strong as Sukuna Ryomen.

"Wh-Who's there?!" You stuttered out, looking around. Nothing.

A laugh, devilish deep. It was creepy, it scared you. Your senses told you to run for your life. But your Body was froze. A Shadow moved reveling a Tall man.

"So what is such an Angel doing here? Alone?" He grapped your neck, choking you. You tried to pull his Grip away from your throat, he just tighten.

"Pathetic." He let out not loosing the grip away, you felt dizzy and your head felt like it's going to Explode. Your head was red, it tried to fight.

Your control faded away letting your curse form out. Letting the Attacker to let go your throat, he touches his chin looking at your features. He hummed.

"you're quite Interesting. Well, What's your name. Woman?" He made for you a smug smile.

You were coughing, and calmed down your breathing and took control again.

Sukuna's face frown at your Human form. "I don't like your Human form. Change." You shook your head backing away from the Stranger, holding your own throat wondering why you're so weak.

You knew you were weak, but not so, your cursed Form saved your life. But you still didn't accept the other side from you. The Biest how you call it.

When you let it out, you feel like yourself. But the blood Lust, the sadistic thoughts. You don't want to harm anyone.

He walked forward, you were still backing away till you met the big tree behind you.

"You think you can run from me?" He laughed, stepping on your Hand which was laying on the ground. He presses all his power.

It cracked and you screamed, your hand bones were now fragmented. He laughed with pleasure written on his face.

He moved on your Hand earning more screams and crying from you. "Now answer and I might Stop." He smiled, "M-My N-N-am-e-e Is Y-/-/N" Your lungs were sour from screaming and crying, when you talked it hurt like daggers rammend in your lungs everytime you let out a tone.

"Y/n? Last name?" He stopped and letting your Hand go, just to step on the other one doing the Same way.

"I-It's L/-/-/-n!" You sobbed he let go, taking your throat, pulling you closer almost lips on lips. He smiled, then throw you across the woods.

You coughed out blood, and tried to scream, but your lungs have already given up only thing that came out of your throat was the blood.

He didn't even gave you five seconds, he hold your Throat again. Your body was number and heavier than before. You didn't fought.

"I know that Name, isn't it the Family that my mother cursed the Child? Maybe.... You?" You flinched.

"I didn't presented myself, I'm Ryomen Sukuna. Your worst nightmare." Your Hand lost his Arm, and fell on your hips. Then it hits you. You have A knife. You pulled it out Stabbing his neck. It hurted like hell, but you can't die. Not yet.

He let's you go, holding his wound. He cursed as he saw you humping away, he smirked then, "I'll see you soon, my Dearest Angel." He laughed sadistic.

You ran, still humping back to your Village. A blood trail behind you, you can't even think straight, the only thing in your head is.

Survive, Family and The Strange man.

You Finally managed to get to the door, not knocking, your hands are still Fragmented. You Vision blurry and the pain to entensive.

You knocked your head in the door, the door Opens and you fell infront of them.

Your body Shaken of the cold, and from the pain you could feel. It's too much, when you don't die from the blood lost, then maybe from your Shock.

Your Mother screamed at your body and called instand your Father, he rushed down to you and your Mother.

Your younger sister and Brother also. Your Mother rushed to them bringing them Back to bed.

Your Father brought you to your bed, fixing your wounds. Healing your both hands, not completely since He's not good in reversed Technique.

"My Child, What happened to you?!" His Voice was Shaken and your breath  was heavy and short, he caress your hand, the pain crosses over your body. But you calmed down when you realize that it was your own Father who was holding it.

You looked tired, you hoped that this was just a nightmare. And yoh would wake up anymoment.

"you don't need to answer. I'm staying here, you can rest and sleep." his Voice was soft what made you slightly smile, and you could Finally sleep.

Deep.

<{~}>

It was cold, you opened your eyes meeting the white curtains. They were flying in the wind.

Your Brother slept next to you, and your father slept on your lap. You smiled, then all at once slapping you right in the face.

All what happened, Banadges around your neck and Hands. That must meant that it wasn't a dream.

Your body begun to tremble your eyes full of fear to see him again. This Ryomen Sukuna, You hated the Idea to step out of this house again. But you must.

You need to return to the Gojo clan, since it was your job and you're cursed. Other wise they'd kill all your beloved ones and you two. And you'll become a curse.

But you Almost die yesterday, his face Almost Shooting constantly in your face made you scream. The scream wasn't loud, the damaged he had payed to your body was Incredible. You Breathed in and out to calm down and it didn't helped.

Your Brother woke up, hugging you tight. You hugged him back didn't let him go, your Father also woke up, and do the same.

They both calmed you down, they stood up and walked out waving a goodbye. You hold tight on your Blanket, like it was a Shield that protected you from everything and anything.

You couldn't even close your eyes without getting memories about the night.

Your Body was Shaking and tears Falling on the Blanket and Sheet.

Your Mother brought food up in the room, seeing your state, she rushed over to you and comfort you.

"you don't need to tell me, but I'm Always here. Even If someone die, they're here." She pointed at your heart, where Bandages where, you knew she wanted to make you happy. And it did kind of. But she didn't had any clue what really Happened in these woods.

You met something that you shouldn't met. Today is also the day that you're going back to the Gojo-clan. You knew that they don't care, they don't care if you and your Family die. You're cursed and that's all.

You stood up, not humping anymore. Your balance was a little less than before, you got used to it. You dressed in a new suit, that was made to kill curses. Your body Shivers at the thought of him. Maybe you Should ask your Mother.

Who's Ryomen Sukuna?

Your Father don't want that you go. He thought a Simply curse attacked you, and you're Mentally unstable now. He wasn't wrong with all, he was right you're Mentally unstable. But you didn't met with a simply curse, you got attacked by something much dangerouslier.

You walked down with your Uniform, your body still tremble. What if you see him again? What will he do.

Even the thought made your breath heavier and uncontrollable. "M-Moth-er who's R-Ryo-men Suk-kuna?" Tears overwhelmed your sight and you felt again dizzy.

Your Parents Stopped, anger building up. They felt also guilty that this happened to you. So they answered as if it was an excuse.

"He's the king of curses, We think you know what the king of curses is. He's a Demon or Satan hisself. He'll brake you in his joy, tell me sweetheart, why do you need that info for?" Your Mother asked worried and your Father looked deep in your eyes, to see if you lie.

You wanted to tell the truth, you felt like you're going to collapse. "The one I was m-meeti-ng was g-him." You let your fork fall down and Support your head. Your sight was blurry, your Father gasped. He's speechless as your Mother brought a glass and Pours the water on your face. She brought new Water and force's you to drink it.

Your nerves calmed down and you broke the wall around you, you broke in your Mother's arms crying. She supported you and caress your back. You just cried. And then collapsed in your Mother's Arm's, still sobbing.

<{~}>

You woke up not in your room, it was the room in the Gojo-clan. So they came and brought you here. You was slightly happy that you're here now, and don't must go by yourself.

*creak*

You looked over to the door and A young man maybe in your age standing there, brown eyes and silver hair. He lay medicine beside you.

"We heard what Happened, we checked on you. Your Father did a good job, but he Forgot your ribs. Your ribs crushed a bit your lungs, that's why you couldn't speek. And if course you were in a Shock. We gave you medicine, since you're cursed they are strong." He smiled softly, your face was still cold and traumatized. You nod, he left with an Awkward laugh.

You looked at your own reflection in the window besides you. You looked horrible, you should take a Shower.