#this man will do a heckin murder

[adventures-written]

Nico

Knives Bingo

"I will not regret putting an end to you, even if you are Conrad's prized dog."

[chvoswxtch]

Hello my love! I love the way you write Frank (AND Matt, but im in a Frank mood tonight). I’m not sure if you’re taking requests rn, but if you are, I love to submit one!! Tbh I’m so sick of how douchey guys are these days on apps, and the “oh you just wanted a free meal” behavior and dating rn is the fucking worst. What’s your take on a situation where you’re friends with Frank and you complain about how badly men behave these days, and he offers to take you on a real date and treat you right? Bc I could use a Frank to rescue me and treat me right rn 😫

hello my darling! thank you so much, omg. you're too kind🥺

ok first of all when I say you are PREACHING to the damn CHOIR !!! I tried a few dating apps and I loathed every single one of them. straight up was not having a good time. it was an absolute travesty, so I feel for you so hard right now angel.

this is my first time doing a headcannon so this is super exciting and i'm happy we get to do this together!! because you absolutely DESERVE a frankie to rescue you and treat you right because you are a goddamn CATCH you are a GLOWING GODDESS and anyone should be so heckin LUCKY as to go on a date with you ❤️

headcannon is going to be below the cut bc y'all know I get carried away, especially with my baby frankie

frank castle & dating apps

first things first: frank castle is very old fashioned, so the idea of a dating app probably not only confuses the fuck out of him but also makes him grimace. like the man without a doubt hates texting, preferring an actual phone call instead, and most likely comes up with a million different threats to your security and worst case scenarios when you teach him about online dating

"don't you wanna meet someone the old fashioned way? how can you tell they're not a complete asshole just by a picture and a few words? what if they ain't who they say they are? you still got that knife I gave ya?"

frank already made you share your location with him a long time ago for safety reasons but now makes you text him the address of wherever it is you're going on these "dates" as well as check in with him every hour

he would probably be adamant about coming with you and sitting in a corner somewhere so he could keep an eye on you but you quickly shot that down bc it's frank and he's very hard to miss and you would have a hard time explaining to your date why that big guy across the room looks like he's seconds away from committing murder (you know exactly which look i'm talking about)

frank requests you send him a picture of whatever guy you're meeting just in case he needs to hunt him down find him if you don't check in or something happens, and never hesitates to offer a look of utter disdain and merciless judgment when you finally send it

"really? you're goin' on a date with this? the options on them apps that goddamn bad, sweetheart?"

frank is extremely shameless in verbally eviscerating every single guy you show him or tell him about and never misses an opportunity to make his opinions known

one night you storm into his apartment without knocking (a common occurrence he's finally gotten used to) and plop down next to him on the couch with a glass a wine (he made a mental note to keep the kind you like on hand at all times) and start to vent about your latest disaster date

the guy made you drive nearly an hour out of your way to meet him at a sketchy dive bar, spent the whole night talking about himself and cutting you off every time you spoke, and then had the AUDACITY to ask you to cover the tab because he "forgot" his wallet at home (this actually happened to me once)

frank can't take it anymore. this online dating thing has been going on for months and every time you vent to him about these assholes, it gets harder and harder for him to control his feelings for you because he's supposed to be your friend and the guys you've been going out with look nothing like him and as much as he wants to be with you, he's scared to ruin the one good thing he has. so, frank hatches a plan

"alright, I can't take this shit anymore. don't make plans friday night. we're goin' out."

he says it so nonchalantly, you almost don't catch what he means. you splutter out your wine, staring over at frank because there's no way he just asked you out on a date??? frank catches your look and offers a timid smile, reaching over to squeeze your knee gently

"relax. i'm just gonna show you what a real date should be like. you've been on so many shitty ones, I don't even know if you know what a good one is. let me help you raise your standards a bit."

let me tell you something, frank castle knows a thing or two about romance. this man goes ALL OUT. picking you up at your door (on time, early even), flowers in hand (your favorites bc he actually listens when you talk), is the most dressed up you've ever seen him (it's a dress shirt and jeans but he's usually covered in blood so), opens all the doors for you and pulls out your chair, takes you to a restaurant he knew you would love bc he knows your favorite dish & dessert, spends the whole night asking you questions about things he's always wanted to know about you, makes you laugh with silly jokes and stories, and tells you several times throughout the night how beautiful he thinks you look

you've always had a crush on frank (how could you not honestly) so you were a nervous wreck about the whole thing and what it meant for your friendship and if he was just doing this to be nice because he felt sorry for you or if he actually liked you back

but the date is not only the best one you've ever been on but also the easiest because it's frank and he's your best friend and you've never felt more comfortable or at ease with someone and when the check comes it makes your heart sink because you never want this date to end, even if it isn't real

the entire walk back to your apartment there's a palpable nervous energy between the two of you and his hands are in his pockets but you desperately wish they were holding yours and when you stop at your door there's a million thoughts racing through your head that you wanna say but the look in frank's eyes steals the oxygen straight out of your lungs

"listen I uh...know I said this was just to show you how a real date should be and what not, and I did mean that but...I really just wanted to show you how you should be treated ya'know. how...how I would treat you, if you'd let me. i'd give you the goddamn world if you asked, sweetheart. I don't know if I read tonight wrong, but I know I could be the right man for you, and I think you know that too. at least, I hope you do. there's nothin' I wouldn't do for you, honey. I understand if you don't feel the same way-"

you don't even let frank finish that sentence before you're dragging him down by his collar and crashing your lips together because holy shit frank, your frank, wants you just as much as you want him

needless to say you invite him up and show him just how much you want him despite his weak attempt at trying to continue to be a gentleman

"sweetheart, we can take it slow. I don't mind-" "frank I swear to god if you don't take your pants off right now, i'm never kissing you again." "yes ma'am."

[bookgeekgrrl]

My media this week (2-8 Jun 2024)

📚 STUFF I READ 📚

🥰 The Shabti (Megaera C. Lorenz, author; Matt Haynes, narrator) - wonderfully fun supernatural adventure romance set in the '30s. Just delightful. feat Horatio, a heckin' chonker of a cat. ilu horatio, even if you don't have a neck.

🥰 The Secret Lives of Color (Kassia St. Clair, author & narrator) - {nonfiction} This was rec'd in one of my discord servers as 'If you are ever in the need for a pleasant-sounding British woman telling you Interesting Facts About Colors then may I recommend The Secret Lives of Color by Kassia St. Clair, which is exactly that for 8 hours' and it was precisely that and it was wonderful and soothing and so interesting.

🥰 MateHub: Legend (MateHub #1) (Marie Reynard) - erotic romance about a wolf shifter porn star who finds a Mate™ in his new human co-star. Tropetastic & hot af, exactly what I wanted from a book with this set up. But my fave thing was the absolutely hilarious porn star names: Richard Knotz, our main MC wolf shifter. Hunter Savage, Max Hardwood, Trick Wilde (coyote shifter, natch). I snorted with laughter every time one came up. [really love a book that just knows what it's trying to do and executes beautifully on that premise]

💖💖 +166K of shorter fic so shout out to these I really loved 💖💖

Transcript: Steven Rogers and James ‘Bucky’ Barnes' appearance on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, February 4, 2017 (deliciousblizzardshark) - MCU: stucky, 2.7K - cute & funny

fighting vainly the old ennui (Fahye) - MFMM: phryne/jack, 13K - AU where Phryne's a jewel thief but Jack's just as fascinated [reread]

Love Runs Wild (DevilDoll) - Teen Wolf: sterek, 9.4K - inspired by the shifter porn romance above, had to reread this fantastic story where they're both porn models & Stiles accidentally shows up to work with a hickey. True forever fave.

📺 STUFF I WATCHED 📺

Magpie Murders - s1, e1

Murdoch Mysteries - s16, e22

The Brokenwood Mysteries - s10, e6

TJ Alexander in conversation with Rachel Reid [Under the Umbrella Bookstore event]

Game Changer - s6, e8

Um, Actually - s9, e8

Smartypants - s1, e4

Doctor Who - s1 (series 14), e6

🎧 PODCASTS 🎧

Short Wave - Psychedelic treatment for PTSD faces misconduct hurdle

WikiHole - Song of the Summer (with Kristen Bell, Kirby Howell-Baptiste and Jackie Tohn)

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Blue Spring State Park

The Sporkful - Book Tour 1: Do You Really Need That Many Recipe Tests?

Consider This - 'They're somebody's history.' Returning ancient artifacts to their rightful home

NPR's Book of the Day - Kathleen Hanna remembers her path to becoming the OG 'Rebel Girl'

Re: Dracula - June 5: Simple Seriousness

⭐ Vibe Check - Trust The Aunties

Short Wave - Why The Science Of Tides Was Crucial For D-Day

Ologies - Culicidology (MOSQUITOES) Part 1 with Fhallon Ware-Gilmore

99% Invisible #584 - Fact Checking the Supreme Court

⭐ Decoder Ring - Captain Planet to the Rescue

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Welcome To Wall Drug

⭐ Pop Culture Happy Hour - Doctor Who is enlivened by its new Black, openly queer star

Wild Card with Rachel Martin - Bowen Yang thinks being present is overrated

Off Menu - Ep 252: Jason Mantzoukas

Today, Explained - A win for democracy in India

Short Wave - 'Math In Drag' Explores The Creativity And Beauty In Numbers

Pop Culture Happy Hour - Hit Man And What's Making Us Happy

Dear Prudence - I Bailed on a Family Trip Because My Plane Seat Didn’t Have Enough Legroom—Am I a Monster? Help!

Endless Thread - Scamming the Scammers

Today, Explained - The last good day on the internet

🎶 MUSIC 🎶

Rock Radio • 1980s

"I Melt With You" [Modern English] radio

Shaboozey

Energy Supermix

[emblazonet]

DRAGONSDAWN REVIEW

This is a heckin weird book and I started off enjoying it until I Was Not Enjoying it.

The intro seemed interesting enough: we’ve got people who are escaping a variety of circumstances (including retired war veterans). They’re looking to colonize an uninhabited planet, which neatly sidesteps major issues in other colonial literatures, since, well, there’s no one sentient to object!

Personally, the sciencey stuff seems fine... I’m nota science person to begin with, and I was mildly interested by their tech and how it was described. Nothing stood out as weird. Maybe funny, when they refer to film or tapes, since we’ve established this is in our future and the colonists are often from actual places: Ireland, etc.

I did find it weird that they name a bunch of places after places on Earth. Why bother? Why not just make names that actually communicate something about the landscape they’re in? This is somethig that obviously colonists did here to North America—every city I’ve lived in has roads that are named ‘Hillside’ or ‘Pinevale’ or something (even if there are no hills or pines). In my hometown, Beacon Hill was a region my high school was in (and I’m not sure there was ever a beacon or a hill); in my current city, Beacon Hill is a park. It’s stupid and I hate it. Name things organically, or else it feels WEIRD. (In books. Obviously IRL just use the indigenous names and maybe please do a land back, like with Haida Gwaii!)

I know, I’m yelling about colonial problems at an author who has a weird obsession with bloodlines. And who killed off all the black characters in the first Threadfall. Uh huh. Moving on.

There are too many characters in this book, by the way. There are too many AND they are kinda bland. They run together. I don’t know why I should care about any of them. It’s weird that it’s supposed to be multicultural or whatever but it never feels like it. The way other cultures are represented is kinda uncomfortable. Spoilers and stuff upcoming.

Paul and Emily seem like they should have Main Character Energy, but neither does. They’re important people or something but the narrative never makes you feel it. There’s a whole bunch of names that keep coming up but I can never rememeber who they are or what they do... Pol, Bay etc. Idk.

Sorka and Sean are obviously telegraphed as some of the first dragonriders, they’re the sort of Adam and Eve first kids of Pern, and they’re boring and I grew to kinda dislike them by the end of the book because they’re just like Generic Hetero Couple and it was very yawn.

I liked Kenjo, I though he was going to be The First Dragonrider because the book goes on and on about his flying ability, the way he can conserve fuel, all that. But actually he dies halfway through and I hate that actually, because it feels like any build up with this character never went anywhere. His death was pointless but the story didn’t even make it about the pointlessness, so like... why?

Sallah’s seduction of Tarvi, a pretty man, was awkward as fuck. She drugs him and they fuck and then later she’s like ‘why doesn’t he seem to love me?’ BECAUSE YOU DRUGGED HIM? OH MY GOD????? At least Dragon Sex Pollen gives you an out! There’s no excuse to for this nonsense! And then when she dies, Tarvi—changing his name to her last name, Telgar—has this ‘oh I DID love her after all’ grief thing but it comes across as super contrived.

Look, I stand by actually liking Lessa/F’lar, but I’ve pretty much hated every single other romantic relationship in this series (except for Moreta/Alessan ... Moreta is the best book).

Speaking of Sallah’s tragic death aboard the orbiting, fuelless colony ship—her murderer is the Obviously A Villain Avril Bitra. Who is a mean gold-digger lady who is also a slut, and Anne, did you need to work something out with this one? Avril is set up as a villain but instead of being a threat to anything, she basically does a stupid and dies, but manages to take Sallah down with her. But her inexplicably meanness with Sallah has a weird sexual undertone to it? I’d be into it if I didn’t hate it. Like. The scene where Sallah is cut up and Avril is tormenting her is SO CHARGED and it could’ve been so good except it’s... it’s just not. It feels incredibly out of place! It’s the climax of the book in terms of intensity, but it’s in the middle and we haven’t even gotten to the dragons yet!

Thread, by contrast, wasn’t even that dramatic. Oh noo, there’s Thread.

And the dragons feel sort of rushed into the end of the book. There’s something weird about the biologist and her granddaughter. They’re Chinese, and everyone loves the grandmother, but apparently the granddaughter is an unpleasant bitch and there’s no explanation offered at all. I have no idea why the characterizations are so weird and awkward, but they really are.

How many times can I say ‘weird and awkward’ in one review???

Also, why does that one MAGA-style asshole, Ted Tubberman, try to bioenginner felines? What even was that? There’s literally nothing relevant about it? WHY WAS IT INCLUDED? Why wasn’t it cut?? It doesn’t do anything for the plot or characters except, I guess, kill off a loose end? Who was already exiled?

By the way, the glee with which everyone exiles this dude is so weird. ‘We didn’t kill him! We just ostracized him forever!’ Wow. Just. Wow. I don’t even know what to say.

In sum, basically, this book is a structural mess with bad characters. It had a fun dragonfighting sequence three pages from the end, and that was probably my favourite part.

I don’t know how a book with so much stuff happening crammed into it could be so boring, but here we are. Like, this wasn’t Nerilka-level bad: it didn’t do any character assassinations because it wasn’t a sequel to anything that came before. But it was a slog, and it didn’t even have the grace to have a lot of dragon-related screen time to offset it.

3/10, a structural disaster.

[dearlymrme]

Gotta Catch Them... (Copia)

Summary: The headcanons nobody asked for that I'm gonna do anyway. What are the Papa's Pokémon?

I threw in this little bit. Every Papa has what can be called their 'mascot' Pokémon. The one present in all the interviews and magazine covers, and making stage appearances. Their starters are not necessarily their mascots, simply which on their team best represents them.

Also, every Papa has become a Papa in more way than one. In an effort to better prepare them for progeny, they are given an egg that hatches into a pre-evolved form. Can't let his Prime Mover do all the work. It's also to instill this idea of paternity as more than just status to the members of the church.

What happened to Papa's Pokémon after their death? The rumors are they were donated to the Clergy or simply just released. They could be sitting on a shelf in the crypt with their respective Papa's bodies. I can tell you one thing. They all put up a fight.

Copia's Pokémon are free-ranged and not often if ever in their Pokeballs. They are extremely friendly and will often be found either lazing around him or where he frequents.

Starter. He would be so lucky that his started had been blue. He had been given Eevee as a way of saying he had so much potential. Eevee was, of course, loved to pieces. He knows how to play video games! His ribbons are very dexterous, and he can manage a simple game of Pong and Frogger. Catch this big bunny hogging Copia's couch and his lap. Very docile, does not like to fight. Will probably be the easiest one to go down when it comes time for Copia's Pokémon to disappear.

Found in the previous Abbey Copia lived in. He is very gentle and skirts after in Copia's shadow all the time. Had a kind of Coyote VS Roadrunner relationship with Terzo's Pikachu for a while. He was the Coyote. Irony at its fittest that he is the mascot of Copia's legacy.

Raised from an egg, and she loves him dearly. Copia was granted a shiny stone for her soon after his first hit as Papa. Has this habit of trying to brood on him when he is stressed. Catch his hair full of feathers some days when she rests on his head during naps. She is always on his bed and loves nesting in his mountain of pillows. Very friendly and an absolute mother hen, funny how the she has gone from his baby to his mother.

Very fat from Copia spoiling him so often. A huge heckin' chonker. He likes sitting on his shoulder, and when feeling playful, he nibbles his ears. He used to be able to fit in Copia's pocket, but he couldn't anymore. He has his vengeance by nibbling holes in the man's jeans and knawing at his furniture and drywall.

As a child, Copia was lonely in the Abbey he grew up in. Because of his eye and obvious relationship with Nihil, he was ostracized by his peers. And then one day a quiet girl appeared and played with him, for the longest time he thought she was another child of the Abbey but it was this Zorua who took pity on his loneliness. They have been inseparable since.

She has shown up twice. Once before, the Papa's were murdered and again now. She's wild, but there is no denying that she is his. She terrifies him of the future to come. He's thankful for the warning. He gets the warning, but she won't leave him alone and just serves to give him increasing anxiety of his ticking clock. Maybe trying to protect him and maybe just enjoying making him paranoid.

[taiblogcomics]

Still Not in the Nico Time

Hey there, shrines to Inari. Still got a bitter taste from last issue of Avengers Arena, but now we're officially halfway through it. And halfway through this run of six issues that I'm breaking it up into! So we'll just power through it like usual, yeah? We've been through worse! Because, yeah, as bad as this story is, it's still better than Heroes in Crisis~

Here's the cover:

Well, I was gonna give this cover props for being another actually kind of heckin' cool cover. Always love a giant hand looming from the background! And Nico's outfit is always cool, she had that goth fashion on lock. But then I checked, and this one's another goddamn reference cover. To Platoon of all things, this time. That one I'm pretty sure is not a teenagers-murdering-each-other film! You could argue its horrors of war and death of innocence themes are also applicable, but A) I don't want to give more props to this story than it deserves, and 2) I still hate these reference covers. (The giant hand is still cool, though, Platoon should’ve had a giant hand.)

Well, last time we found out that Apex is a plural system of Katy and Tim, and Katy (who I will continue to refer to as Apex, for consistancy's sake) is a bit cuckoo for cocoa puffs. The kids tried to talk things out, which was enjoyable for a little bit. But when they opted not to mercy-kill Tim for their own protection, Chase Stein got ejected from the group for suggesting it. Then Apex reasserted control, proving they really should've done that very thing. She murders Juston, takes control of Deathlocket and the Sentinel, and goes flying off to who-knows-where.

Big complaint just to start off when we open the issue. Nico's conscious again after she took a beating from Apex last night. She's in bad shape, and sure this has been the comic about murdering teenagers, but this is absolutely gory. And it's the first fucking page, too! Anyone who bought this comic or even was just browsing and opened it to the first page would've seen Nico Minoru beaten so badly her broken leg bone is poking through the skin, and her arm is completely torn off, also exposing bone. It's fucking grisly, and there's no warning or anything. This is rated T+?

So we flash back to 12 hours ago, when Nico's just waking up from getting knocked out by Apex last night. So the unnecessarily mangling will happen later, and she really was just knocked out. Confusing on top of unnecessarily gory, excellent! Naturally, Nico's feeling incredibly shitty that she failed on her watch, and she hasn't even found out about Juston yet. X-23 has to tell her, and then she goes off to hunt Apex on her own. Nico begs her to stay and help her explain, but it's too late. X-23's off, and the rest of the group is waking up now.

Meanwhile, in another part of Child Murder Island, Apex is assessing her situation. She realises she jumped the gun--after all, if she'd been patient, maybe the Sentinel could've been repaired to full operational mode! She's also turned Deathlocket's brain back on but left her unable to move, which might be worse in my opinion. Locket is naturally protesting her being used as a weapon, and Apex retorts that she's just being realistic. The only way to win a deathmatch is to survive, and that's what she plans to do.

By sheer coincidence, Chase happens to be nearby spying on this whole exchange, commenting on how right he was that they should've taken out Apex when they could've. He powers up into Darkhawk form, and... X-23 runs by, telling him to stay put. He complies, because you don't fuck with X-23. Unfortunately, Apex does fuck with X-23, and she's not at the "find out" stage yet, alas. She also has a slightly in-tact Sentinel, and immediately puts X-23 in the ground with one punch. And no, I will not give her a One Punch Man meme, she doesn't deserve it.

Back with the main group, Cammi lays out the facts: none of the rest of them (including herself) have a powerset worth a damn against Apex and her killbots. Only Nico's magic has a chance, so she's gonna do the fighting while the rest of them beat cheeks. That's as far as the plan gets, coz then Apex just turns up, dumping an unconscious X-23 on top of the lot of them. She's still alive, because of course she is, she's too much of a headliner. Nico manages to do enough spells to put the Sentinel on its ass for a minute, telling the rest of them to take the opportunity to run.

Nico runs right after them, and Cammi notes that they'll never get away on foot. Nico replies that her teleport spells don't work in Child Murder Island, but decides to try again. She manages to conjure a portal. She doesn't know where it goes, but it'll be somewhere else in Murderworld, since that's enough of a loophole for the magic. Apex turns up just then, and Nico shuts the portal behind them, cutting herself off from the group. Apex mocks her for her heroic sacrifice and nobility, just in case you didn't detest her enough yet.

Before Apex can swing a blow down on Nico, Chase (as Darkhawk) swoops in. She's very grateful for the rescue, and starts to apologise for casting him out. That's when Chase shoots her hand off. See, turns out the Darkhawk powers are also alien technology, and if it's tech, Apex can manipulate it. So Chase is her mindless servant now, just like Deathlocket. He kicks Nico off a nearby cliff, and that brings us to the front of the story again, where we saw her mangled and beaten. She drags herself to her staff, and utters one last word while clinging to it: "Help." The issue ends showing us her HP bar going to 0.

Well, I kind of hate this issue quite a lot, too. Oh, yes, yes, they seemingly kill Nico off in this one, just after killing someone off only an issue ago. (Never mind that at this point, I’ve read I think two whole later runs of Runaways, where Nico is alive and well, so all the tension there is gone. You’re welcome for that, by the way.) No, my big complaint isn’t Nico’s death itself, but how fucking gory it was. This is, what, the fifth death so far? And Kid Briton got decapitated, and that didn’t feel as violent as this. I don’t need to linger on a teenager suffering with her bones exposed through the skin for several pages, and I definitely don’t need it to be the opening fucking pages of the comic. I may have said Heroes in Crisis was worse at the beginning, but hoo boy, did this one jump right up there. Fuck this comic in particular.

[natdoespolls]

Idk if I’m late to this but i’ve got some lesser-known dndads quotes if I’m not (sorry this is very long lol):

Darryl:

Glenn doesn’t care that his kid smokes weed, but at least he would have killed Hitler (season 1 episode 44)

I just really wanted to eat some bread, and they’re not going to give us bread if we tell them that their son died (season 1 episode 63)

Henry:

I SILENCE HIS DUMBASS WITH A KISS (season 1 episode 1)

Darryl, what do your dilf eyes see? (season 1 episode 14)

Let’s table the soccer versus football versus vaping conversation (season 1 episode 18)

You always start at the asshole of the tuna can (season 1 episode 19)

What the frickin’ ding dang gosh dark dilly willy heckin’ shark tooth banana chicanery hootin’ tootin’ raspberry frickin FUCK are you two doing here?? (season 1 episode 41)

Why is everyone getting hotter but ME?? (season 1 episode 54)

Ron:

Grant, buddy, I’m going to give you some advice. It’s something Glenn and I were talking about when we were in the toilet (season 1, episode 18)

Glenn:

I’ll die happy, baby. I’ll see my son in Hell, BITCH (season 1, episode 60)

Tell Darryl: Good news! I died and I went to Hell! (season 1, episode 68 pt 1)

Season 1 NPCS:

I have seen your futures. And they are very, very stupid. —Bill Close (season 1 episode 6)

I don’t need to love myself because I. Love. ANIME!! —Well Actually (season 1 episode 55)

I think this concert’s going to be full of FOMO. It’s going to be full of: Fire, Opportunity, Murder… Other thing —Scam Actually (season 1 episode 63)

Carrots are fucking dope —Erin O’Neil (season 1 episode 33)

I’m babysitting the weird knife boy?—Nicolas (Foster) (season 1 episode 55)

I fuckin’ beat ass, this kid (gesturing to Nicolas) sucks —Paeden (season 1 episode 50)

Link:

Let’s just take a break here for a moment. Fuck the car, are you saying you could turn any one of us into spider-man at any moment?? (season 2 episode 15)

She’s not supposed yo be IN THERE!! (season 2 episode 30)

ATMOD:

This is why I don’t have tuberculosis —Stud (chapter 3)

Sir, I’ll let you know I’m not just a train virgin —Robert (chapter 2)

Also some Anthony quotes because there are so many good ones:

You wouldn’t want to tap dance threateningly in this situation (atmod chapter 3)

There is no way on god’s green earth I am going to describe your dick sizes (season 1 episode 4)

Flesh is subjective (season 1 episode 21)

Henry’s body reacts the way that anybody’s would when being licked by a stranger, which is to say, not significantly (season 1 episode 57)

You can know about my ass, you can’t know about my heart (season 1 episode 60)

The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a bad ass is a good guy with a good ass (season 1 episode 65)

And then you get a room together, and you don’t train, you just fuck (season 1 episode 65)

Again sorry this is super long but I had a bunch of these saved and I wanted to send some in

These are some deep cuts, I love it!!! I had forgotten about some of these moments. They’ve all been added :)

[ithisatanytime]

Lazy Town en Español | Veinte Veces Video Musical

couple quick unrelated thoughts, gender reassignment surgery is better understood not as a treatment for “gender dysphoria” but instead as a treatment for autism, the correlation between being transgender and high functioning autism is so strong that its more honest to view it that way, and once you do you see it for what it is, a cruel trick and imposition against the most vulnerable of us. if you understood autism it makes perfect sense, they lack social instincts that cause us all to behave a million ways without us realizing it, these basic interactions have to be verbalized and taught to them. The universal societal need for strick gender roles is a very complicated thing to figure out, but there is a very clear logical reason for them, most people just dont know it, they dont need it, they just follow instinct, autists dont have that luxery so they have to first learn all this shit and then justify it to themselves somehow, gender roles are the only thing that fucking works its a fundemental building block for any even partially functioning society, but most people dont know that, most people dont understand these things evolved in us over hundreds of thousands of years and the reason every surviving distinct race of man all independantly arranged the gender roles basically the same way, because it works and the peoples who tried alternatives were outcompeted and they died, most autists arent gonna know this without being prompted meanwhile jews have put it into there head that the discomfort they feel in their own skin is because they are lacking a sweet set of silicone titties, i mean slapping a rocking pair of tits on yourself might be fun for a week or two and for an autistic man its gonna give you a pronounced social leg up lol, but the long term consequences for this kind of flesh meddling are horrors beyond the wildest nightmares of 99.9 percent of all people who ever lived and passed away. ask yourself if this is a good way to treat autism.

 the other thing i wanted to say is its very common for artists to make art that is ACCIDENTALLY based and excellent, the sopranos is the greatest example of this and the phenomenon explains why many saints of newark was a failure. David Chase hates tony soprano and he was desperate to make america hate him too, and this desperation is very apparent by the final season where tony turns into some fat demon somewhat out of the blue, it was built up somewhat but, without spoiling anything it was clear david chase was trying to slap tonys dick out americas collective mouth unsuccesfully. im not saying the success of david chases original run was complete accident, hes a very talented writer and director, but he made tony soprano to be a foil for white america, hes an effigy to be burned, he espouses views that would resonate with anyone still clung to western tradition and then does objectively morally heinous acts, this is jewery 101, make a work of fiction portraying someone with a belief you want to snuff out and then portray that character committing murder or rape, or even worse, a heckin racism. the problem though is that americans have become so starved for characters with views that resonate with their own amidst all the jewish faggotry that they were more than willing to overlook the most dastardly sins just to get a hit of that sweet resonation, and it makes david chase furious. i never saw the many saints of neward movie that came out, fucking no one did, but the few that did hated it, its basically universally reviled, and there is a reason i wasnt excited for it despite being a diehard sopranos fan. i knew the years werent gonna do david chase any favors, as time goes on in jewish america the enemy must be portrayed increasingly unfairly, and even though tony was a childishly blunt mockery of white american values, david chase couldnt help but at least try to be a little subtle at times, or to pretend to give tonys point of view a fair shake, you cant even do that now, and david chase wouldnt even if it were allowed because thats how much he resents the fact that you love his character, because the character was born from his resentment of the “other”. long story short he fucking hates goys, and the success of his show was a result of both his talent as a writer and director, but just as important was the fact that his audience missed or ignored his main point.

[fluffallamaful]

Something interesting is that every instance of c!Dream doing something shitty to others has been framed as either 1) reactive, 2) preventative, or 3) consequentialist (Ends-Justify-The-Means). Basically nothing is framed as sadistic, and even his vengeful actions always come with something else tied to it (Quackity needs to be too scared to come after him again, Sam needs a canon death so that nobody else tries to “fuck with [him]” again, etc.). Hell, even moments like Tommy’s third death in Pandora were immediately preceded by a blinding rage that made him lash out in a way that is entirely human and I’d probably do the same thing (in that case it was Tommy 1) physically attacking him and 2) murdering the cat explicitly because Dream said he loved her) (also he revived him a day later and then proceeded to share his very limited food supply until Sam finally got around to letting Tommy out).

Exile was largely a mix of a reaction to Tommy’s antagonism and a prevention from him getting in his way as he got his disk from Tubbo in preparation for the Staged Finale, Doomsday was both a step in his plan to help paint him as a villain to the server and a reaction to L’Manberg completely ruining his original Big Happy Family a la the introduction of by-the-book nationalism (thanks, c!Wilbur), what he did to Lazarbeam and Vikk was consequentialism at its most extreme, etc.

Dream’s main flaw has always been overestimation. This extends to how he views natural human endurance (Pandora (self) and Exile (Tommy) ), what he thinks is an acceptable trade (traumatizing ClingyDuo in exchange for keeping up the charade, killing himself and Punz over and over and over and over —) and even how he views other people’s moral compass (he trusted Sam to be fair and kind even if Sam hated him, he believed that Tommy would not go after him post-prison as long as the Disc Fight had concluded, he was completely blindsided by the idea of Quackity torturing him, etc.) In short, he is an absolute moron when it comes to “reasonable expectations.”

(Seriously, with how fucked up his sense of “acceptable” is, I really wouldn’t be shocked if he thought that Exile was just an annoying two weeks on an island that Tommy was being dramatic about. Just look at what he deemed “alright” during the construction of Pandora’s Vault, like Jesus Christ man.)

i lovvveeee how much you pay attention toooo 🙌🏼 his character is so heckin interesting it’s insane. i don’t have much to add but i am nodding my head vigorously in thought

(discussed below anyway)

🦙🦙🦙…

the stuff you pointed out about him not being able to manipulate people as effectively as wilbur in the other ask is such an interesting point. he managed to find only one technique that allowed him to hold some reins over tommy and the other server members,, and that was controlling them through fear. but the only reason he was doing that was because he was scared himself.

i still find it so cool to loook at his choice of people that he saw as soon as he got out of prison. like he straight away went back and ensured that people still feared him (i bet he mistook fear for respect,, or saw them as achieving the same results, but he could control fear easier). but then you also pointed out that he might not have even meant to run into tommy in the exile island? i just think his first instinct when interaction is to lash out, in fear that others will do so first. and it’s easier to convince people to be scared or wary of you than to respect you (that’s what i feel he found anyway)

he’s really cool :(

🦙🦙🦙…

[majorxmaggiexboy]

lord give me strength there’s a probable racist dude being tasteless on the theatre’s webpage

[rayvenden]

Just my KH20th Announcement Trailer thoughts and text dump

First are my quick thoughts and then I go into analysis mode. This post is more for me than anything lol

They're delaying the Dark Road finale AGAIN? The bastards

BRAIN AND HIS HAT IN 3D!

WEIRD LONDON SCALA IN 3D!

I'm going to be playing this mobile game even if it's shit and even tho it looks like another gacha

STRELITZIA IN 3D!

TWEWY style subplot for Quadratum mayhaps? POG

No platforms announced for KH4? Please my one big fear is that it's going to be PS5 timed exclusive. T-T

Dark Road:

Not me studying the missing upperclassmen of Scala to see if anyone looks familiar (like a somebody of Luxord and Demyx, but I don't think they fit that bill). However this looks like it's probably Baldr's missing sister.

---

Missing-Link:

These devices in Missing-Link are probably "links" lol. (Gee how would I have ever guessed)

Apparently the title Missing-Link refers to this taking place in the time between Union Cross and Dark Road (to link them). Makes sense as... that's what the game is.

Missing-Link could also be

-a missing link in a chain of memories

-a lost page of the Book of Prophecies

-a missing star connecting a constellation? (i.e. Yozora or Nameless Star reference)

-a missing person (plenty of candidates lmao. Nameless Star, Subject X, Ava, the population of Daybreak Town, the population of Scala ad Caelum, even Sora. Plus I am sure there will be even more murders *cough* 'missing people' during this game.)

Side note; I think it'd be cool if you got creepy correspondence from a missing person's link. 👀

It's probably also a slight reference to D-Links from BBS, which is how you tap into the trio's and Disney characters' powers. So your link is probably canonically how you use the medals shown. You probably equip your medals to set which moves you can use, like how it works in UX, with a mix of BBS since it’s now in 3D with 3D moves.

Cue me getting hype as hell. I love BBS style customization. UX had plenty of customization but now that it's in 3D we can actually get a heckton of recognizable moves from across the entire series as equippable medals. Watch me equip all Sonic Blades and just nope off into space.

Okay two things here:

First off, gotta be a reference to Yozora (don’t you know, he has a copyright on the night sky). Secondly, it's probably safe to imagine that we'll be dealing with another Real Daybreak Town VS Data Daybreak Town situation here. Since the "stars shown contorted", I think that means that things aren't quite right. 👀 Like, perhaps the constellations don’t line up right... BECAUSE THEY’RE NOT REAL *gasps in shock*

KH4:

Actually I don’t think I have a lot to say here. It’s beyond cool that the Dark Seeker saga is done and we’re getting the start of The Lost Master arc. Seriously the Master of Masters is such a fun character, so I’m excited.

This might be a good spot to find some ingredients:

Oh right I guess people are freakin out cause Star Wars might be in KH too lol:

Also it makes sense that Strelitzia found Sora since they both heckin DEAD

WAIT SEVEN WHOLE DAYS

DO YOU REALIZE HOW MUCH CAN HAPPEN IN SEVEN DAYS

Do I smell a KH2 Roxas style intro????????? DOES THIS CONNECT TO THE YOZORA ENDINGS? WHICH ENDING IS CANON? IS NEITHER ENDING CANON? IS ANY OF THIS REAL, OR NOT? AAAAAAAAAAAAA

anyway

Ignoring his very concerning words, this appears to be the Master of Masters and Luxu due to their stances. Which alright, we were already wondering how MoM got to Quadratum, but now Luxu is here as well? Is it that fucking easy to get to Quadratum? I mean it’s not SUPPOSED to be that easy. Sora and Strelitzia got there by DYING. They’re straight up DEAD. Xigbar went and faked his death and had a chat with the Foretellers and then apparently just moseyed on over to Quadratum??? They got some sorta secret backdoor to just go back and forth as much as they want? Well okay, maybe it’s not dissimilar to the dark corridors I suppose...

Edit: Look at this gremlin man

This is the look of a man who knows too much and is having the time of his lives. I guess if you went through what the MoM forced you to go through, maybe you’d learn to have fun with it lmao

Also, the Master of Masters wanted to vacay in Quadratum to get away from the Darknesses who were chatting him up in UX, but where there is light, darkness will follow, so lookie here he introduced KH’s darkness and heartless and shit to this world, good job buddy.

Edit: I forgot the Donald and Goofy at the end bit. It’s probably Hades which makes sense because why wouldn’t you wanna talk to the Lord of the Dead to get ideas on how to bring back a dead person lol.

Editing again because this on twitter appears to have more information if you’re interested! There’s a bunch of info including something I’m personally excited about:

[bardly-working]

stray tlovm live reactions

Spoilers for 1x06 — Spark of Rebellion

Keeper Yennen!  GINA TORRES!  AHHHHH!

Oh that’s kinda cute, making Archibald a childhood friend of Percy’s.  He didn’t seem to have many (any) of those in CR, so that’s a nice addition…

And also it’s DOMINIC MONAGHAN!  AHHHHH!

Percy thinks he knows where Archie is… cause that’s prolly where he was kept 🥲

Oh man, the different plans drawn in crayon are kind of adorable.

NO WAY ARE THEY ACTUALLY GONNA DO THE DOOR THING

OH MY GOD THEY’RE DOING IT

THEY COMMITTED TO THE BIT, Y’ALL

25 MINUTES THEY SPENT ON THAT DOOR IN THE STREAM, 25 FUCKING MINUTES

Bless them for keeping that in the story.  Truly the most important element.

*Oooooh Scanlan, nice use of illusions! Heckin smort move!

NO MERCY PERCY

“For the record, you were thee one I was least looking forward to.”  - proof that Percival de Rolo doesn’t need a gun to murder a man.

Goddamn, scary Percy is fantastic, I love it so much, No Mercival Percival 😈

I do wonder if Archie — being the same age rather than an old man — is gonna be mad that Percy didn’t come back sooner.  And then maybe we’ll get to hear about how he was basically in a state of perpetual dissociation for several years. 🙃

Ohhhh Cassandra. I hope they do right by you…

“I have a sister” okay don’t you make me cry, don’t you dare

Cassandra’s messed up relationship with the Briarwoods is so fascinating, and I have to wonder how it plays out in this format.  Gods I love adaptations.

Post-watch thoughts:

1) okay but when are we gonna get a Dramatic Percy’s-Full-Name Moment?  Archie? Yennen?  Do we have to wait for Vex?  Want!

2) I reallt reallt love analyzing how adaptations from one media to another work. Things have to change by nature of the format, and watching what they choose to transpose, choose to change, choose to add or subtract… it’s always fascinating.  I could talk about this shit for hours, and not just for CR/tlovm.

3) *Inside of you there are two wolves.  One says “Major Image and Project Image both require verbal components, Scanlan couldn’t cast either one while his mouth is covered.  The other says “only internal consistence within the narrative and rule of cool are relevant here, not 5e RAW.”  You are a fucking nerd.

[ageless-aislynn]

Frens, I am doing a heckin’ silly thing:

I’m trying to beat Halo: Combat Evolved... on Legendary. I’ve actually already made it through Pillar of Autumn, Halo, Truth and Reconciliation and The Silent Cartographer and am about to start Assault on the Control Room.

I anticipate a lot of dying and starting over in my future. I didn’t know if I was ever going to finish Truth and Rec because, darn it, Cpt Keyes KEPT GETTING KILLED. That man is not only a kidnapping magnet, he runs straight at enemies like sword Elites because he seems to think he’s invincible. Pro tip, Captain: YOU ARE NOT. YOU GET MURDER DEATH KILLED VERY, VERY QUICKLY.

I wish I had the option to throw him on my back and keep him safe. Or, you know, lock him in a room until I can clear all the enemies and then he could just make a nice, leisurely stroll to safety, lol!

(Actual tip: try to stay in front of him but when he’s crowding up too close and is in serious danger becoming unalive, turn and run back the other way; he and the marines should follow you. Then try to outrun him to take out the enemies before he rushes them himself and is MURDERED STONE-COLD DEAD IN .425 SECONDS 😲😣😉)

Silent Cartographer is, oddly enough, one of my most fav levels to play, even on Legendary. I learned a lot of helpful tricks to get through it when I learned to speedrun for the par time (I’ve got par times on all of CE and Halo 2 *is so proud* 😍👍) and I use it to just go and play on for fun. I also accidentally blew myself out of the map in the Hunters’ courtyard in the Legendary run and I’m totally going back later to do it on purpose and see where all you can go from there. 😎 I ended up recording some of this run and there were several funny glitches in it. I may put them together in a video or as GIFs or something. We’ll see. 🤷‍♀️

343 Guilty Spark, The Library, Two Betrayals, Keyes and The Maw are all looming ahead of me once I get past AotCR. Weirdly enough, I’m not dreading the Library the most because I just managed to get this achievement:

I played on Heroic but you can’t die without having to start all of the way over again and that was a PILL, let me tell you! I died so many times right at the very end and just wanted to

BUT! I learned some strategies to get through that’s going to really help me on Legendary. Plus I finally feel safe in saying that I’ve mastered the grenade jump at the start that lets you deload most of the enemies on the first level, so that helps. I’ve also come up with a fairly reliable strat to get the shotgun as soon as possible and you NEED that to get through.

Also, I just beat CE on Normal and Heroic and sorta learned how to navigate 343 Guilty Spark and not get AS lost as I used to, lol! Two Betrayals is the one I’m dreading the most, honestly. Those bridges, ARGH.

Anyway, if I make it through, I’ll let you know. 🤗 I hope I can, it’ll mean a LOT to me to have gotten good (and lucky, huh) enough to get through CE on all of the levels of difficulty, especially looking back on how much Easy kicked my behind the first time I played it, lol!

Wish me luck!

⬆ D’aww, the first screencap I took in CE when I originally played it back in June, 2022! I was SO LOST at that moment and couldn’t find where the prison cells were on Truth and Rec, lol! *nostalgia* 😂😉

Love and smiles to you all! 💖

UPDATE: I made it through Assault on the Control Room! I was able to do the bridge jump, which lets you bypass one of the rooms and having to come back along the second bridge and thankfully was able to hijack a Banshee on the snowy bridge and fly it right to that final hanger without having to fight my way down, then across and THEN back up all those levels of the pyramid-ish building where the hanger is on top. Then I just Banshee bombed everybody who ran out of the hanger and walked on in! I’m so excited, frens! This honestly means a lot to me. I know it’s just a game but it’s something I never thought I could play or at the least wouldn’t be able to play with any proficiency. And to be working my way through Legendary, even using skips and shortcuts and the like, it’s still HARD but I’m getting there and that just... It makes me happy, no matter how silly that is. 🤗🤗🤗

[the-golden-ghost]

Top 5 things you like about Jigen? :)

Awww

He's got the "Even Evil Has Standards" trope DOWN. I wouldn't call him evil, mind you, but he's Morally Dubious for heckin' sure and that's the name of the trope. Basically he's fine with murder, arson, theft, violence, destruction of property, and God knows what else but he will NOT sell out his friends. He's actually the only member of the gang who I have never seen do this. This man is probably the most reliable and loyal one out of all of them and he sticks to this in spite of everything else he's willing to do. He's a chaotic devious bastard but he's a chaotic devious bastard you can trust and I love that for him

His dedication to wearing his hat every damn where. When he's sleeping. In the bathtub. Places where he's supposed to be stark naked but everyone knows you're never truly naked until you're naked and missing your hat right

He LOOKS the part of the stoic hard-nosed gunslinger guy. I mean you'd look at him and think that's what he is. And while you wouldn't be wrong because he is indeed a tough man (and he'd sure like everyone to think that's exactly what he is) it's... kind of a facade?? He has so many moments where he's startling easily and acting like a goofball and a dork and being silly with Lupin and it's... he's just cute, what can I say

His Protecc Game is Extremely High and while he likes to play the "screw you clowns I'm not putting myself at risk for any of you" card he literally never follows through on that. He'll throw himself into danger for any of them and they all know it. Sometimes he even does this with people who aren't part of his gang. If he sees a person he likes enough he really will just consider them worthy of dying for it seems

He will sit Anywhere and on Anything and he will stretch out and make himself comfy while doing it. His character design is 90% leg for unclear reasons but he needs the Stretching Space so sometimes he'll just like... stick his entire legs out of a car window and such. It's wild and it kills me every time

[hallucination-edward]

what do you think of the volturi

They're extremely corrupt and need something to keep them in check but other than that I think they're heckin rad. Just a bunch of man-killing vampires hiding out underground and occasionally murdering entire groups of tourists??? Yes please.

I also really like the Life and Death Volturi where Aro and Marcus' (? I think) wives killed them and took over their roles.

[stranger-who-writes-fiction]

Folks, FOLKS.  Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow #7 is here and it is SO HECKIN’ GOOD. 

And do you know what this Very Good issue of Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow is called???

CHAPTER SEVEN: “HOPE, HELP, AND COMPASSION.”

*cue happy nerd flailing set to the rad guitar version of the Supergirl TV theme*

ISSUE CREDITS: “Hope, Help, and Compassion.” written by Tom King, art by Bilquis Evely, colors by Matheus Lopes, letters by Clayton Cowles, and edited by Brittany Holzer w/ asst. editor Jillian Grant and senior editor Mike Cotton.

THE PLOT:

Having captured Krem at the end of issue six, issue seven finds Ruthye, Comet, and Kara ready and waiting for the Brigands. 

Half the issue takes place on the surface of an oceanic/aquatic planet, where Ruthye and Comet keeps tabs on Krem.

The other half of the issue is set in space, as Kara takes on the Brigands’ ship, the Bonnie Prince Charlie.

Thus we’re back in True Grit territory, as this set-up is lifted right from the novel. (Mattie is left alone with Chaney while Rooster takes on Ned Pepper’s gang.)

(I also just realized the other day that Krypto being poisoned/needing an antidote is a nice stand-in for Mattie’s encounter with the rattle snake.)

SO there’s this really great balance of the tense, character-driven drama between Ruthye and Krem, while Kara gets this sweeping, epic space battle and it is just. So. GOOD.

I figure the best way to approach this one is to break it up into those two sides so LET’S GO.

A GIRL AND HER SUPER-HORSE

Alright so before we get into like, you know, the writing and the character stuff let’s talk about that ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT!!!!

I kinda touched on this a little bit in a previous post re: these pages but man, THE COLORS.

By now, it should come as no surprise that Evely and Lopes are MASTERS of creating unique alien worlds and populating them with amazing detail, but I gotta say. That water? The transparency and color transitions from the shore to the sea? A truly impressive flex.

Like there is. SO MUCH that goes into coloring a page like this. For one, aquas and purples are notoriously tricky in print, as CMYK doesn’t really play nice with them. So even getting that vibrant sea green takes a significant amount of planning/work, to say nothing of the color holds and textures and whatnot.

Just absolutely gorgeous, and such a great contrast to the yellows, reds, and oranges of Kara’s portion of the book!

Again, mentioned this in my previous post but I love the way the beach environs offset the reds of the...space apples? And Comet’s cape.

Speaking of Comet and space apples, some other Very Good Panels:

I love this one because it’s just adorable? Like, Evely is so great in this issue, reminding us that Ruthye is a very young girl who is in the midst of an emotionally trying ordeal--there’s excellent expression/character acting later on, but here? Just! A cute li’l panel of Ruthye’s physicality that emphasizes how tiny she is. And the little floating fish! 26/10.

(Ruthye’s legs dangling over the side of Comet reminds me of that great panel from issue three, where Kara’s putting her on the bench before they go flying.) 

Another detail I loved, Ruthye’s very tiny bite compared to Comet who takes like. Half. XD

Oh, right, should just like. Give major props to Evely for all of the HORSE DRAWINGS.

Horses are hard, man. XD

Also Comet EMOTES which is even TOUGHER to pull off.

Damn this creative team for making me like Comet the Super-Horse.

DAMN THEM.

Right, sorry, okay. So. As we’ve established, the colors and art are splendid, and work in perfect tandem with the writing.

The story starts out very light and airy (just like the art!) as Ruthye casually chats with Comet, and ultimately persuades him to let her talk to Krem.

Because, see, Kara has left Comet with Ruthye so that Ruthye doesn’t just. Murder Krem. 

There’s really great humor here, in the form of Ruthye sassing Krem. 

But while Ruthye initially seems in control, both in terms of the conversation, as well as in control of her own emotions, Krem quickly gains the upper hand, as he (also quite casually!) tells Ruthye how he came to kill her father.

I have said it before, and I will say it again: Evely is *so good* at nailing characters’ expressions and emotions--the body language, the subtleties in eyebrows and mouth shapes--in the above page, I love how Ruthye leans into Comet, almost trying to hide from the terrible things Krem is saying. And the fact that the action is given these three huge panels to let the moment play out over a period of ‘time’ and breathe is wonderful (along with the steady push-in on her face and tears. Which are beautifully rendered, I might add.)

CONTRAST THAT with Krem’s unchanged, unfeeling face! NOT ONLY does that emphasize his cruelty, but also let’s us know that this guy? 

We get an echo of these three panels on the next page, where Krem...kinda unknowingly makes a (potentially fatal???) error.

Like. Krem had her on the ropes! She was beat! Emotionally devastated!

But then he went and did a sexism. XD

She’s able to refocus her anger and hurt and thus is back in control and we get that same ‘hiding’ action but in a more overtly ‘I’m plotting your downfall’ way.

I mean. LOOK AT THAT SMIRK. XD

And then it’s here, at this point, where Ruthye’s portion of the story at last directly connects to Kara’s, so let’s backtrack a bit and discuss...

THE BATTLE OF CAPES

Kara’s entire half of the book is just!!!

It’s all caption boxes/narration, much like issue 6; however, as Ruthye reveals on the very first page, this information is not firsthand, and she had to do research in order to record what occurred in Supergirl’s showdown with the Brigands.

Ruthye also mentions that epic poems have been written about this fight which evokes a sense mythic scale/scope to what we’re about to read--this is not just Supergirl taking down a bad guy. This is The Battle of Capes. Poems have been written about it. So many poems in fact, that there are good ones and, in Ruthye’s words, ‘shoddy ones’ as well!

I. LOVE. THIS.

Like. I’ll be the first to admit that I like earthbound Supergirl stories. I think that’s an important part of her characterization, that she finds a home on Earth. (Eventually! She doesn’t have to love it at first. See: the Best Episode of Supergirl, “Midvale” XD)

But I also love the idea of the Super family just. Existing for millennia and their galaxy-spanning adventures becoming the stuff of legends. (See, the Extremely Awesome “Legion of Superheroes: Millennium” by Bendis and “House of El” comic by PKJ.)

So I love this set up, I love this mood, I love that Ruthye is like, ‘Yeah, I hate that part in that one poem, “The yellow of her hair, the red of her lip, the wreckage and ruin of every ship.” 

As I’ve said before, this book does such a great job of not only establishing all these alien worlds and cultures and whatnot but also making them feel lived-in. Like it’s cool that there are poems about this battle--it’s even cooler that a character has an opinion on a very cheesy line from one of those poems.

*Patrick Stewart voice* World building!

And, of course! The art works in perfect harmony, selling this sense of pure scale.

PAGE ONE! RIGHT OFF THE BAT! We see Kara, larger than life, even appearing larger than the planet below, thanks to the composition of the page! Solid, strong, resolute! We can EASILY imagine Supergirl besting any foe! Weathering any attack, no matter how savage!

And then BOOM.

HUGE DOUBLE-PAGE SPREAD OF THE REVERSE ANGLE, and Kara is now dwarfed in comparison to the Brigands’ ship--we see the literal size of the obstacle and we KNOW that Supergirl’s in for a fierce fight.

And it’s here, in said fight, that we get some cool, vaguely meta bits.

For one, Kara facing down the Brigands’ cannon fire calls to mind the shot of Superman beating back the ray gun from the classic Fleischer cartoon

(This isn’t the exact shot I’m thinking of, but hopefully conveys the idea. XD Like there’s a better one where Clark is actually flying and smacking the laser beams out of the way.)

ALSO Ruthye specifically muses on why a fight between Supergirl and the Brigands would be interesting, if you know Supergirl is going to beat 'em.

And this book has a pretty great answer, to the common complaint from readers that the Super characters are boring, or hard to write, because they’re too powerful, or too ‘good.’

‘You know they’re going to win, so why bother?’

As per Ruthye: “No one has a monopoly on power.”

Essentially: There are any number of threats one can simply INVENT or IMAGINE. Because this is fiction. You’re literally making stuff up, so. Make up some more stuff! XD

Again, as per Ruthye: “There are faster bullets. There are stronger locomotives. There are taller buildings. It is a universe of wonders and mysteries, and being born under one sun and raised under another does not mean you have mastered its limits.”

Brilliant. Amazing. Spectacular. Insert orsonwellesclapping.gif here. XD

Okay, time for my favorite paaaaage:

Gonna quote the text for easier reading, as it’s small on the page: “And so with that unprecedented barrage, one that might have laid waste to any number of solar systems...Supergirl fell from the sky and toward the planet below. The heat of reentry began to warm her and, as she described it to me, there was a feeling of comfort in it. It reminded her of Krypton, of coming home after school and her father overheating the laser grill, raising the temperature in the whole apartment. She could see him dashing though the kitchen to tell her that everything was all right, he’d got it under control, just don’t tell your mother when she gets home. And Supergirl would smile knowing she’d got something from her father not many ever got, a secret. And as she continued to fall and the flames hugged her even closer she saw her house burn, she saw her parents burn, she saw her world burn. Until all she had left was that secret and no one to whom she could tell it. And knowing that, that she was the only one in the whole universe who could tell the story of her father and the laser grill, she knew she could not die that day. Her life was one of trillions. But that memory was unique and needed preserving.”

SO LET’S SEE. BEAUTIFUL SPACE IMAGERY. MEMORIES OF KRYPTON, OF HER FAMILY AND HER WORLD. THE PEACFEUL MEMORIES GIVING WAY TO THE DESTRUCTION OF HER HOME. DECIDING THAT SHE NEEDS TO KEEP LIVING. SHE WILL KEEP GOING. SHE WILL NOT DIE THIS DAY.

1000/10 S-Tier Supergirl content, Tom King, Bilquis Evely, and Mat Lopes understood the assignment.

BUT THE GOOD KARA CONTENT DOESN’T STOP THERE. OH NO.

So Kara manages to board their ship and take the Brigands on directly but they gain the upper hand--she goes down, and it’s at this point that we’re BACK to where our stories converge!

BRINGING IT ALL TOGETHER:

Gosh, this part was so good.

Down on the planet, Comet gets all squirrelly; something is wrong!

Cut to the Brigands above, and we get this moment:

The Brigands delight in Supergirl’s apparent weakness, in her BEGGING for mercy. 

And we, the reader, might even think, ‘WHOA, Kara’s in a tight spot!’

BUT THEN.

BUT THEN.

It is revealed that Kara is NOT begging for her life, but is in fact TELLING COMET TO STAY WITH RUTHYE BECAUSE SHE NEEDS HIM.

HEROIC, SELFLESS-TO-A-FAULT KARA, USING SUPER-HEARING, IN ADDITION TO THE OTHER GOOD STUFF?!???!???!

WE LOVE TO SEE IT.

Like, if I had a bingo board of all my favorite Supergirl stuff, this issue would check off so many boxes. 

Time for another quoooooote:

“Her power was great, greater than you can imagine. But it was not just measured in terms of the pull of her muscle, the cool of her breath, and the heat of her eyes. No, her power also derived from a whole life dedicated to kindness. From day after day defending others from the wicked. And thereby earning their loyalty. So that she did not often walk alone.”

I know for a fact there are Hardcore Supergirl Fans™ who, as recently as issue six, still feel that King is doing a bad job, and fundamentally doesn’t understand Kara. 

To which I say: We’re reading different books, clearly.

BECAUSE HERE SHE IS, LADS. 

IN A COMIC TITLED: HOPE, HELP, AND COMPASSION.

King better stick the landing so that I don’t look like a dang fool again, I swear. XD

Comet continues to become agitated, to the point where Ruthye realizes that Kara needs help, and Ruthye urges him to go assist her.

She swears on her dad’s grave that she won’t kill Krem, and so, Comet takes flight!

AT WHICH POINT WE REALIZE! This whole time, as Ruthye was giving Comet the space fruit and relating the story of her ponydog, she was cleverly gaining his trust, so that she could convince him to leave her alone WITH KREM! And that her promise to Comet was a LIE!!!

GASP!

And thus issue seven ends!

SOME ADDITIONAL MISC. ART APPRECIATION:

I love the mix of close-ups on Kara as well as these wider shots of action during the Big Brawl sequence.

And like, the shape here! Of the Brigands being pushed back by Kara, it’s immediately clear what is happening, and dynamic and oversized and super.

And here we get an absolutely brutal bit of panel-to-panel action, as in the first, the green Brigand has his arms open wide, ready to fight Supergirl, who is being both pushed and pulled through the air by chains and laser canons...

And then WHAM, the green Brigand’s hand is wrapped around Kara’s head, forcing her into the ground, which is almost alive with movement in the form of action lines and blur and grit and crackling energy bursts, snaking across the page.

You FEEL the impact in a collection of lines and colors on a page.

And these are just! A handful of panels!

The whole book--heck, THE WHOLE SERIES is just so expertly rendered! I can’t get over it! XD 

GAAAAHHHHH It’s just so GOOD.

Also, side note: Love all of the designs for the Brigands. 

It kinda reminded me of the great space...bar? Comedy club? brawl bit from Supergirl #24, drawn by Doc Shaner:

(And listen, I love Shaner’s art, but you can see the difference in style--there’s an inherently rigid quality in the more ‘traditional/classic’ superhero art; there’s very little fluidity and implied movement.)

(Static, I guess, whereas Evely’s inks--the heavily repeated diagonals and action lines--really get these still images to MOVE. They practically VIBRATE with potential energy!)

(Anyways!)

What else, what else.

Oh! I don’t know if it’s a deliberate nod or just a cool coincidence, but I like that Ruthye has purple eyes, because Lois Lane is typically depicted as having purple eyes as well.

(The Lois Lane image below is a Clay Mann cover, colored by Alex Sinclair. From...Action Comics, I believe?)

AND SO, IN CONCLUSION:

I can’t get over how great this book is. XD

It reminds me a bit of Matt Fraction’s Hawkeye. There was a book that took a character who was very firmly mid-tier in terms of ‘brand recognition’, and applied a heavily stylized, almost indie sensibility to a small-scale, self-contained comic series to great effect.

And I love that we’re getting the same treatment for Kara.

Like. Do I want this book to be an ongoing so that we can get more Evely and Lopes art? Of course!

But the tight focus and pacing, as well as having a fixed ‘end-point’ is really to the book’s benefit, and, hopefully! Will mean there’s an evergreen trade that will sell really well and convince DC to make more Supergirl stuff.

(Maybe once King has more time, he can do a sequel series. XD)

 Also, as I’ve mentioned before, I get the sense that Sterling Gates doesn’t care for the direction of this book, but I’m really glad that King incorporated Supergirl’s motto. (Which was penned by Gates.) I kinda feel like...as folks have praised this book, there’s been a tendency to throw previous Supergirl comics under the bus, which is a shame. Because Gates and Igle really did so much for rehabilitating Kara’s whole deal after the garbage early 2000s books. 

We don’t gotta tear down what’s come before to praise the new stuff that we got! XD

Anyways. It’s just a nice little nod to Gates’ impact/work on the character.

SO NOW WE WAIT FOR THE FINAL ISSUE. NUMBER 8. 

I’m not...too? Concerned? King is pretty good at narratively satisfying endings.

I am worried about Krypto, though. I NEED THE GOOD BOY TO BE OKAY. XD

Until next month!