#this may seem like an overblown reaction to something like this

[cantsayidont]

April 1950. Years before Betty Kane or Barbara Gordon, the Robin solo strip in STAR SPANGLED COMICS #103 briefly floated the idea of giving Robin a female counterpart: Roberta the Girl Wonder. The story begins at Dick Grayson's high school, where the girls are discussing their hopeless crush on Robin. One of them, redheaded Mary Wills, then has a brainstorm:

Mary is adorable in this story, although the assertion that Dick Grayson's peers are enamored with Robin (something that was repeated on and off into his college days in the 1970s) doesn't withstand close analysis. Even by the standards of the late '40s and early '50s, Robin is only a little less of a nerd than the young Clark Kent in the Superboy strip (who quickly established himself as the epitome of squaredom), and Dick Grayson at least as bad. However, Mary is determined:

A crime-compact! Obviously, Mary has already grasped the merchandising potential of being a Bat-adjacent crimefighter, but where did this teenage girl get smoke, gas, and explosive capsules? (Is that what we're supposed to assume she was making in panel 2 above?) Troubling …

As "Roberta the Girl Wonder," Mary quickly manages to introduce herself to Robin, even sneaking into the Batcave by hiding in the trunk of the Batmobile. However, to her dismay, Robin responds to her with irritation and disdain.

She asks a pretty reasonable question, honestly. Upon meeting her, Robin's immediate reaction is that "this is too dangerous a game for a girl" (but totally fine for a boy who doesn't even have any pants, apparently), and he subsequently becomes very critical of her ability to cover her tracks to protect her secret identity (much of which criticism seems unmerited or at least overblown), but even if you consider those reasonable arguments, his almost total disinterest in her (the above splash page not withstanding) does end up coming across as kind of gay. The comics were a little vague about how old Robin was supposed to be, but the beginning of this story indicates that he and Mary go to the same high school, so he's probably 15 or 16. That he reacts to a pretty girl his own age expressing obvious interest in him as if she were trying to sell him aluminum siding is thus a little odd unless, as Mary suggests, he just doesn't like girls.

To underscore the point, Robin deliberately sabotages her, arranging to douse her with chemicals (with which he's surreptitiously dosed the perfume shown below) to make her mask fall off in public:

Poor Mary.

Mary Wills is more than a little reminiscent of another STAR SPANGLED COMICS character: Merry, the Girl of a Thousand Gimmicks. First seen in STAR SPANGLED COMICS #81 in June 1948 (although she didn't adopt her costumed identity until the following issue), she was Merry Pemberton, adoptive sister of Sylvester Pemberton, the Star-Spangled Kid. Syl tried to discourage her from getting involved in crimefighting, but not only did she not listen to him, she soon took over his strip.

The above panels are from a story in STAR SPANGLED COMICS #86, which is still identified with the Star-Spangled Kid logo on the splash page even though Syl himself is nowhere in sight. With the following issue, the strip officially became Merry's in name as well as fact. However, with reader interest in superheroes fading rapidly, the strip lasted only through #90, in March 1949.

Roberta the GIrl Wonder may have originated an attempt to create a similar heroine for the Robin strip, but given how hard the ending of her story shuts down the possibility of her reappearing, one assumes editor Whitney Ellsworth decided that particular ship had sailed. National-DC was not very likely to replace Robin with a girl the way Merry had replaced her brother and Black Canary had superseded Johnny Thunder, and in any event, it had already become clear that it wasn't going to arrest the sales decline. Even Robin would soon lose the STAR SPANGLED cover slot to Tomahawk, and in 1952, the book became STAR-SPANGLED WAR STORIES.

[pagingdoctorbedlam]

I’ve written a few fics about Czerny now, and at least one specifically around the idea of him being autistic. I received a lovely comment where a reader was interested in the idea and was curious about textual evidence, and seeing as others have written in-depth posts about autism headcanons...well, I decided to do the same, and to post it here instead of in a long rambly comment-response!

So without further ado...some headcanons on Czerny, how he could be read as autistic, and how this influences his character, under the readmore. Light spoilers for Lingering Echoes, Ebenholz’s operator record, and Czerny’s trust files are included for those who haven’t read. (And for those who don’t want to read: enjoy this art from his creator!)

I didn’t set out to headcanon Czerny as autistic when I first read him, I swear. However, as I read through his dialogue and operator files, as well as overanalyzing some of his design choices, I realized that an argument could at least be made for him having a Sensory Processing Disorder (something that runs in my own German/Swiss-Austrian family). Thus, let's start with some of those points:

Stimming. He outright states this one in a trust dialogue: "My hair, well...I often unconsciously grab at it while composing, if that explains its current unruliness".

Speaking of hair: in both his official art and all the art by his creator, he always has his hair braided directly above his ears. The outfit, collar, and even his eyewear changes, but that element of his hair remains. Wouldn't it make sense if he's overly sensitive to his ears being touched by stray hairs, so he takes extra pain to maintain those braids?

Issues with food. There are repeated comments about Czerny not eating when he's in the throes of composing, which at first glance I took for hyperfocusing on his work. He's also the most wary of Hibiscus's cooking in Lingering Echoes, which is clearly meant to be played for laughs regarding her cooking. However, I also read it as someone who's used to having his food a very particular way, and when the food is changed up or replaced entirely, adapting to new textures and flavors can be difficult.

It makes sense that Czerny would take special care of his hands, and this comes up in a lot of dialogue. The medics even comment that he'll panic if he has "so much as a hangnail". But if he's sensitive to touch and texture, AND he takes extra care over his hands, an overblown reaction like that would make sense.

Now, as I was reading into his files and dialogue for these points (as well as other fic research), I was struck by a few other elements.

One is his blunt, honest manner. Both in-universe and as noted by fans, Czerny can be a harsh but fair critic. He himself states that "Any charm or taste I may have had has been poured entirely into my compositions." For the most part, he doesn't concern himself with pleasantries or making nice; if he has an opinion, he'll state it. But he's not one to lie, and even espouses the importance of earnestness to Ebenholz during Lingering Echoes.

Despite this though, Czerny does have to hide a lot of his own emotions in order to deal with his circumstances, at least in Lingering Echoes. He has to bow to Nobles and their whims despite his loathing for them, and there are numerous points where he holds himself back from voicing his opinions in public. He also identifies himself as a coward, and has multiple dialogue lines denoting his own fear. "I'm terrified, Doctor. Always have been."

Looking at these elements together, I'm under the impression that this man has learned to mask a lot in order to survive. And when under the constant pressure of not only poverty and illness but also supporting an entire community? No wonder he’s considered tempermental.

The only times he seems able to truly express himself is through his music (note how he emphasizes the importance of emotion in music during his 2-star clear line) and in battle, where he goes from polite to screaming at his enemies. We also have the note in an operator file from a professor that Morgen und Abend was one of the few glimpses through his "iron body". And there are multiple times in both files and dialogues where it’s noted that he’ll refuse to budge from his desk until a composition is complete...that moment, perhaps, when he finally figures out the feelings in his heart and how to express all the things his words fail to convey.

Music is how Czerny expresses himself, though one should also note that empathy for others is also important both in and out of music. After all, he corrects Ebenholz that Morgen und Abend wasn't written from his own grief, but out of indignation for how she suffered. He gives up the rights to his music in order to save the people of the Afterglow during the events of Lingering Echoes. Hell, even in Ebenholz's Operator Record, Czerny is touched that Ebenholz is the one defying orders and performing for the Afterglow's residents, but also begs him to stop in order to keep him safe. He loves music, true, but he loves people even more, and he cares so damn much he’ll repeatedly put his life on the line for them.

So, whether or not it was intended by anyone who worked on his character, Czerny reads to me as autistic. Passionate about what he loves, keyed into the feelings of others while having notable difficulties with conveying his own emotions outside of music, and processing the world a little differently from those around him. And I think that’s all key to not only how he creates his music, but how he connects with others, and how he’s learning to move on in a world so much bigger and stranger than where he grew up.

And even if he's still figuring out how to balance the new and familiar...even if he's scared of it at all times...Czerny keeps going anyway. He helps others with music and arts. He expands upon his own skills, even developing new hobbies in habits. Hell, he even gets a motorcycle to go exploring across “those faraway lands roaring through Czerny's mind without abate.” He's going to be okay.

(And watching Czerny be brave and move forward in the face of so much change...well, it inspires me to bravery too.)

Well, those are my thoughts with evidence on the matter, and I’m sure I'll pick up more when I do a full reread of Lingering Echoes. In the meantime, feel free to share your thoughts, and I hope you enjoyed reading!

(and have some more creator-art because I am incredibly gay for this image okay byeeee)

[the-yearning-astronaut]

how is pointing a typo (correction would improve ur work) considered "giving u bs".

Had I asked for spelling/grammar pointers to "improve my work" in the author's note or had I sent it to someone for a beta read, that is one thing. But I didn't ask, which makes it unsolicited criticism/advice and therefore rude. And it's not just me that thinks this, this is how MANY fic authors feel about these kinds of comments.

Maybe the commenter meant well. They probably did! But here's the thing. I didn't spend all my time and energy working on something for the joy and fun if it and then posting because I wanted to share it.... Only for someone to say "Cool. But you could have done better."

For some authors they can let this kind of comment roll off their back, others are even appreciative. For others - who may have been scared to post but did it anyway, who feel insecure in their writing, who don't take unsolicited criticism well - these sorts of comments can and do kill the joy of writing and sharing over time.

When I first read the comment I rolled my eyes and moved on. But it stuck in my brain like a thorn. And had I been in a different headspace at the time I would have gotten upset. Instead it made me frustrated and angry and annoyed. Hence the comment being "BS." And yeah. Maybe those emotional reactions were overblown. But I was scared to post and I had spent hours editing, and I've had real life shit going on that was already making me feel over sensitive and emotional. I didn't need another fork in the side like that.

And if this response seems overly emotional for a simple ask about a tag I left on a post when already feeling overly emotional....well. I'm still overwhelmed and over emotional ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

[thedragonchilde]

G Gundam meta/notes, episodes 17-20:

"Challenge! Mysterious Masked Fighter"

-there's nothing like Domon's relationship to Master to really highlight that he's naive and wants to believe the best of people at heart. Or at least that he's lost everyone else in his life and cannot handle the thought of this being another thing that's wrong. Either way he needs a damn hug.

-so there seems to be a real setup here of Chibodee and George crushing on Rain - they were both chivalrous enough to her before, but the thank-yous are something else! Chibs drops his voice like he's trying to sound sexy, and George, oh man! "Show your gratitude" like he needs coached? The single red rose? And leaving it there for her forlornly? Either he's stunningly bad with women and Raymond pushed him to thank her so he did it in the overblown way he's learned from example, or he's got it bad. (Or a combination.) Either way, these feel like a spin on the classic 'you were nice to me'/hero crush.

-Nastasha is so fucking interesting!! She's so professional and logical, but her relationship with authority (both her own and that above her) chafes in such a neat way that you just know there's some good conflict ahead

-this is quite jaunty music for an "evil Master plotting" scene

-"I'll smash you and the whole forest into tiny pieces" okay Domon that's a hilarious threat

-it only just occurs to me that only one of Domon's sleeves is slashed. So that's just as likely to be a slapshot mending job as a fashion statement! (Did Domon mend it? Or Rain? Either way it's kind of a shitty job)

-kind of a sexy way to finally lose a match, with his arms tied up like that

-Domon calls Guyana his "homeland". That has some REALLY interesting implications.

"Steal the Secret! Scheme of the Beautiful Warriors"

-"Sparks fly between Shining and Maxter" ehehe

-"his destined rival" will never get old

-Schwarz hooking them up specifically is hilarious, and his affectionate referrals to their youth ("the cubs sharpen their claws" and all that)

-drunk Chibodee is funnier when you realize that timeline-wise he may have just turned 21, and sad when you realize he was probably trying to drink the flashbacks away

-"I have no chance against Master if I can't overcome a simple waterfall" what is that logic?

-"the first time anyone ever treated us like real people" oh my god, poor girls, I love you

-"I can feel great energy from him, but what's he actually doing??"

-between Chibodee awing at the scenery and Bunny freaking out at the snake, I'm just reminded that they're city slickers

-uh, Chibodee, how long have you been watching Domon train exactly? I don't think the weather changed that quickly

-oh, I so love that they're on the same wavelength, just immediately both "yeah this fight is great, he's so good at this :)"

-Shirley just like "ughhh FML"

-Domon enjoying the fight so much that he doesn't notice the SOS - is that the gay or the autism?

-"I have to beat this thing" what, nature??

-Domon is so excited about Chibodee's power level

-oh my god, Shirley thinks Chibodee's gonna throw them aside for a minute, doesn't she

-Bunny just openly weeping though

"Fierce Battle! Dragon Gundam vs. Bolt Gundam"

-Sai is a little shithead and I love it. I know it's played for laughs and is actually pretty disturbing when you think about it, but this could also tell us some neat stuff about how he was raised (presumably away from women) and what happens is exactly what the fuck you expect to happen when you loose a hormonal teenage boy on women for the first time.

-Domon throwing himself into the water rather than answering Rain, like,,, yeah, me too, dude

-do we get an explanation for Sai and Argo being there? Were they compelled by the crests and didn't realize it?

-it says something that Nastasha's first reaction is to shoot

-"where's the intruder?" and Argo just looks up at the sky like "he fucking died probably"

-Seriously, Nastasha arguing with the higher-ups!! Good, good stuff ahead

-Sai, you chose the one person whose ego isn't bruised by being called a coward

-"you can't get away no matter where you go" why do I feel like there's some projection going on here, Nastasha?

-man, Sai keeps getting into situations where others pose as him

"George, Beat the Nightmare!"

-Raymond has been with the family for 45 years, which presumably puts him in his mid sixties

-I want Raymond Bishop to be my grandpa

-George is actively fighting being helped, even moreso than the others. That's interesting.

-interesting that Neo France has a tournament to decide their Gundam Fighter, meaning several Gundams are built for this

-"more coffee"

-We appear to be ambiguous on whether George has living family. Presumably if they were around we'd know, but they're not explicitly dead either. The bond with Raymond seems to suggest he raised George more than his parents did; very interesting canon fodder

-Rain "envies" Domon's friendships... that he doesn't seem to be aware he has

-I feel some kind of way about the undertones, esp in Chib and George's eps, that, like,,, trauma is weakness/cowardice? And it's especially interesting with who it's coming from, and who it isn't. Schwarz seems to be the main mouthpiece for this, and I guess he's using denigration as a motivating tactic, but idk. Meanwhile Domon seems more compassionate (and contrasts with the narrative "having traumatic flashbacks is the same thing as choosing to be a cowardly piece of shit actually" in a way I can't quite articulate).

-Mirabeau can join Michelo in the "fashionable asshole" club

-oh yeah, George is fighting this all the way down

-oh, now all of a sudden Shuffles can heal DG infections without sacrifice

[anonymous-tals]

Gob puts up a front all the time, pretending to be confident, pretending to know what he’s doing, and the like. He represses a lot of who he is and what he truly wants. But, one thing he never repressed is his, like, intense, profuse crying and I just find that notable because his dad definitely would’ve(or did, I can’t remember if there was a moment in the show or not) made fun of and looked down on him for that. He tried to repress pretty much anything and everything his dad would hate him for but he always allowed himself to cry.

Gob feels his emotions at a very intense level. It’s as if he’s been hit with a truck. Or perhaps even multiple trucks. It’s very hard to not outwardly express those emotions at the level of strength and density he feels them at. So, while it is still notable that he still gives those reactions and doesn’t try to hide them, it’s even more notable in my mind that he takes a sort of pride in his emotional nature. He always points out to Michael how he never cries and calls him a robot. Michael clearly sees Gob’s reactions as over the top and unreasonable and is very dismissive of his brother’s feelings. And, in spite of that, Gob sees it as a good thing for him to be expressing his feelings the way he does, even though Michael’s lack of crying and overall calmer affect lines up with their dad, something Gob usually strives to do himself. But, he doesn’t do that here. Now, you can see he was definitely affected by his upbringing(and I feel just as a person he has a hard time) in how he struggles a lot of the time to express exactly what he is upset about or what his feelings mean, whether that be him intentionally hiding those feelings or just not knowing what they are. He struggles a lot with wanting to express his emotions and talk about how he feels and make genuine connections while also wanting to keep it all inside and that definitely weighs on him.

The rest of the family sees Gob as overdramatic and feels like he’s overreacting to things. They feel like he shouldn’t be getting as upset as he is and that the way he’s feeling is wrong. But, it’s not. You’re going to feel your feelings. Even though he seems over the top, that’s just how Gob experiences the world(he definitely has RSD). Even if his reaction may be overblown and there isn’t a “reason” to be as upset as he is, that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t feel the intense emotions he feels. His feelings are valid. Repressing them wouldn’t do any good. You have to let yourself feel the emotion. You have to ride the wave, as DBT says. Gob will experience something and feel his emotions rising fast to that peak of the wave; intense, strong, massive. What he struggles with is not acting impulsively when he gets to that peak. Not lashing out at the other person when he’s in that densely emotional space. You have to wait for the waters to calm so you can properly deal with the situation once you’re less clouded by distress. The feelings themselves are not wrong. Even if they are misplaced, they are valid. What matters is what you do with those emotions. Lashing out at others and “taking revenge”, as he does, that is where he’d need to change(once again, I feel the ride the wave skill would be really good). But, the feelings as he experiences them are not wrong.

When he first finds out that Tony is straight(“straight”) on Cinco, he’s immediately distraught and wants to take revenge. In the heat of the moment, he makes a whole convoluted plan to take revenge and Gob is entirely set on ruining Tony’s career for tricking him into believing he loved him back. Now, of course Gob would feel distraught if he believed the man he loved was lying to him about being gay and in love with him. Of course he may want to lash out against him. But, ya know…He could also just talk to the guy. That’s a possibility, too…But, instead, we see him acting out on that rejection and hurt at the peak of his emotions, as I said. This is very typical of Gob. What isn’t typical of Gob is how he acts in season five. He’s incredibly patient with Tony. He never tries to take revenge when he’s hurt by the man ghosting him. He’s devastated throughout that entire season and yet he never goes and takes out his emotions on Tony. Why is this?

After they slept together on Cinco and Tony ran off, abandoning Gob as well as having taken a forget me now and thus forgetting their night together, Gob was clearly distraught. He was left with this revelation that he truly was in love with a man, a man who has now ghosted him, and it makes sense that he would be just as upset as he was earlier that night. Just as ready to take revenge as he always is. But, he can’t because, well, he doesn’t know where Tony is or how to get to him. During the first interaction of season five they have, we’re told it’s the first time they’ve gotten to talk since their night together. So, Gob has had a lot of time to sit in his emotions. He’s had time to get over that peak. His “forced” time of reflection led him to realize that he doesn’t want to take revenge. He doesn’t hate Tony. He doesn’t want to ruin his life. He loves Tony and he’d do anything to be with him. Even though it’s scary and new and he’d lose the people he’s spent his whole life trying to gain the respect of, it would all be worth it because he’d be with Tony and he’d be happy.

He’s pushed away countless positive influences in his life within peaks of his emotional state and I feel his experience with Tony was a turning point because he’d never had to sit with those emotions and wait it out before reacting. He’d always react, lash out and act impulsively in the moment and then realize he’s made a huge mistake, regretting whatever choice he made. But, he didn’t get to do that here and that showed him that that’s a better way of dealing with those emotions and it leads to better things. If it weren’t for the gay mafia, he would’ve ran off with Tony in the parade illusion episode and him not lashing out would’ve payed off. And, even in the end, even though it’s just a baby step, they still promised to do stuff “with [their] hands” together. It payed off in the end!

I just found it cool that Gob looks at his emotional nature and his crying and not only lets himself experience those emotions but also sees it as better than repressing the tears and not allowing himself to cry. Because it isn’t bad that he feels those strong emotions. He isn’t wrong for having such intense feelings. And, while he may still struggle with dealing with his emotions in a lot of ways, at least he doesn’t think it’s bad that he cries a lot. He has one win. An iota of some semblance of satisfaction with himself. So proud of him.

[auideas]

We all know autumn is one of the best times of the year, and not just for the decorations, the candy, and the overall vibe, but because of the cozy activities we can look forward to.

Here, we’ve compiled a list of our favorite autumn activities PROVEN to improve your creative brain activities, basically prepping you to write the best pieces you can:

Change Your Tech’s Background

It may seem small, but changing your computer, phone, or tablet’s background to something with red and golden hues can act as a little shock to your system, especially if your background was something completely different before. Red and yellow are extremely stimulating, which can give your mood and overall brain that extra boost it may have needed. We personally recommend looking at some backgrounds for the game Firewatch -- they’re absolutely gorgeous!

Take an Autumn Walk

Cooler temperatures also make those afternoon strolls just that much more enjoyable. Take a friend for a nice galivant down the street, or maybe take a nice hike and enjoy the leaves’ changing colors! This activity is not just fun, but it can dispel excess anxious energy and help you stay more focused on tasks.

Connect with Nature

If you’re not the walking type, don’t sweat it, because there are other ways to enjoy the great outdoors without putting one foot in front of the other. Alternatively, find a local park or nature center (or even your yard) and unwind. Lay down a blanket, grab your notebook, some airpods, and just enjoy nature without an alternative motive. Even 20 minutes is better than none, and it can fuel inspiration and creativity.

Bring Fall into Your Creative Space

Small activities like going pumpkin or apple picking may seem simple, but they can completely immerse you in the fall spirit! Go out to a local farm or market and see what fall inspiration you can find and integrate into your creative spaces, even if it’s just a little guy made of pinecones who smells like cinnamon that you found at Home Goods for a dollar. 

Cook or Bake Some Autumn-Themed Foods

One of the best parts of fall is admittedly the food, with all its spices and hominess, but cooking is actually also one of the most engaging activities you can do. Bustling around the kitchen while managing cooking times, measurements, and immersing yourself in aromas engages every single one of your senses, giving your brain a bit of a workout. We recommend focusing on cooking up some seasonal superfoods, like root vegetables and squashes, which are abundant in brain-boosting vitamins.

Experiment by Adding Spices to Your Favorite Drink

More of a “coffee only until the day I jitter away” type of creative? Try experimenting with adding some spices into your favorite drink! It’s kinda like cooking, but more accessible and, you know, caffeine-heavy.

Give Yourself Permission to Daydream

Sounds weird, we know, but sometimes, we unconsciously think that if we’re not sitting down in front of an open doc, we’re not really working. The fact of the matter is that nearly the majority of our planning, thinking, and writing happens in the background before we even get our hands on a keyboard -- why would you beat yourself up when you’re really just getting a headstart on your next big project? Go easy on yourself; you’re doing great.

Did we miss any fan favorites? You know, other than TP-ing your neighbors house 26 days early just to get a glimpse of their overblown reaction and finally feel that spark of inspiration? (Not that we’d know anything about that, of course...)

-- The Admins of AUideas  xx

[ichinoue]

Honestly, I never liked the idea that Orihime was “tricked” into wearing something she knew Ichigo would like. It makes her seem incredibly empty-brained and infantilized, like she doesn’t know about her own body’s effects on teenage boys. I prefer to think she DID know Ichigo would like her revealing outfit, she just didn’t think it would be overblown by him and that’s the little thing Urahara knew. XD

Well, she was tricked in the sense that she didn't realize this grown man was trying to sexualize her while hiding his true intentions. I don't think it makes her empty brained so much as a naive and very trusting teenager, particularly of this older mentor-type person who is one of the good guys. But, unbeknownst to her at the time, let's face it: he's a pervert, and he's very sly. That's one of the running "gags" about Urahara. She does learn this about him though, through the whole outfit debacle, and afterwards she’s no longer as trusting--i.e. we see her become wary that he’s trying to pull something similar with Nel, as I talked about in this post. So, she may have been tricked by a pervert, but she learned from it. Which I’d say is the opposite of being empty brained.

Plus, even though several characters have commented on Orihime's beauty and physique, she herself has never expressed anything that indicates she's aware of just how eye-catching she is. She's never stated or shown to have an awareness or confidence in her looks or sexuality as someone like Rangiku has--on the contrary, Orihime is shown to be oblivious to the fact that boys are whispering about her in the halls at school, and she's bewildered by peoples' strong reactions to her good looks, like in the instance with the guy in the FB arc whose name I'm drawing a blank on lol.

She agreed to the outfit because she thought that Urahara meant that it would cheer Ichigo up after he failed against Yhwach, to see her and Chad decked out in new battle uniforms, ready to fight alongside him in the war. But the second she realized he was actually trying to put her body on display to fluster Ichigo, that's when she becomes incredibly embarrassed and tries to cover herself. Because she wasn't trying to seduce Ichigo or get his attention with a revealing boob-window (although that's what IR's try to argue that she was doing--they ignore all of the context and Yoruichi clearly stating "it's obvious she's been deceived by some maniac!" so they can accuse Orihime of being a desperate attention whore). But again, it's made very clear that seducing him was not her intention.

And I like that Kubo made that distinction, actually. Because Orihime was never the type to actually try to use her looks to her benefit or to get what she wants (unlike, in another gag scene for example, Rangiku unbottoning her top to persuade Ichigo to let her stay the night in his bedroom lol). She never used her looks or anything like that in attempts to get Ichigo's attention, or to get him to like her back. Because she didn't have to try to make him like her. He just did, all on his own.

(Side-note: I realize I mention Rangiku twice here, so I want to make it clear that I'm not shaming her or anything like that; I'm just pointing out how she and Orihime are two very different characters personality-wise in terms of their awareness of their own appearance/sexuality, even though they're the two characters whose good looks are commented on the most).

[cringecomp2014]

ok well not to do some meaning-making on side here but like. one of my biggest life lessons from my going on 3 years of working in a very vibrant gaming and hobby store is that it doesn't actually matter, in the grand scheme of things, how silly the foundational aspect of a community is - people are always people and a community is always a community. just because said community is based on something inherently a bit geeky and unserious - painting miniatures, trading card games, niche fan content creation - doesn't make the conflicts fought, friendships made, revelations had, and emotions felt there any less real or impactful than they would in, say, a church or volunteer network or any other chosen affinity group based on common interests. so even if people's reaction to something that, from a detached observer's prospective, seems overblown or ridiculous - it's still genuine as anything else! the human brain can rationalize all you want but that doesn't make feelings hit you any different from the get-go.

all this to say, i guess, play nice? even as someone who is by-and-large a lurker and always a tag blocker (or at least since maybe around may 2022) when it comes to ofmd this has genuinely been one of the most deeply, relentlessly hostile fanbases i have ever seen lol. like whatever man feel however you personally want about the finale, how they handled a lot of plot threads, whether or not izzy's death or ed's arc was effective or not, etc. but like. have a little bit of fucking grace here lol. or if you don't want to do that at least have the decency not to act like you don't understand why people who disagree with your takes are hesitant to play toys with you after you are straight up needlessly unpleasant to them

[gaypiratebrainrot]

I've now read Water Flowing Underground twice because a) it's very good and b) it's so fucking interesting.

Even the first time I was constantly thinking about the choices you'd made while writing and what effect those choices have on my experience as a reader who can't stomach RPF anymore (I read some in my teens, was never super into it but wasn't icked by it back then). Like how switching the names creates just the amount of distance to the real people that I'm not intensely uncomfortable reading it. It's a fluctuating thing where sometimes it feels more like these are Ed and Stede in a modern AU and sometimes like Taika and Rhys with different names, and I can't quite put my finger on what makes it feel one way or the other. (The party scene where the cast talk about fanfiction is like part of my inner dialogue on this)

I've also read all the asks you've answered here about the fic and it's so satisfying to see other people have had some of the same experiences and reactions to things in the fic, like the background panic of the pancakes burning. The whole thing about time being kind of weird while they're at Ed's house is a great touch, the thought of not knowing what time it is is (perhaps not so) surprisingly distressing to me.

There's something I struggle with about the fic though, and that's the parts where the cast talk about fanfiction and the podfic thing. It's solid meta, like I mentioned earlier the dialogue in the party scene is like reading my own musings, but I suppose it just makes me uncomfortable because I WISH the actors didn't do that irl. At least not extensively. Admittedly, the OFMD cast interact with the fandom a lot and that can exacerbate some problems fandoms already tend to have, like the harassment of Rita and Rosie that someone else talked about in an earlier ask. Idk where I'm going with this but I'd love to hear your thoughts behind these scenes.

Oh and also before you published the fic I was trying to guess what the controversial theme in the fic would be and somehow RPF didn't even cross my mind. I think my first guess was mpreg. Don't know what that says about me.

This ask is already so long I may have to write another about the story itself and the emotional side of things. All in all, fucking fascinating work. And thank you for being so open about your thoughts behind all of this.

thank you so so much for this incredible ask!!

i am so delighted to see folks wrestling with who exactly these characters are, and it's absolutely a trip to see there's a variety of opinions. since there was so much rpf wank on twitter, a common comment as people actually read it is that the fic "isn't even really rpf." which is so, so interesting to me!

part of the inception of this fic was having the scenes in my head that were very much rpf, but also being at a point in my fic writing where i've got some solid stede/ed voices that i really like using. truly, there is no clear dividing line in my head between my stede/ed imaginary friends and my rhys/taika imaginary friends. often when i write stede/ed, there are certain lines where i'm like "oh, that's really a rhys/taika line". listening to a bunch of the cryptid factor earlier this summer was a huge boost to my stede voice.

re: the cast interacting with fan fiction scenes: it also makes me uncomfortable that this cast/crew seems so aware of the fan fiction, but almost exclusively for legal reasons! i don't have the fine-grained legal knowledge of this that i wish i did, but it's so dicey to me that a show with that much improv would also permit its actors to read fan fiction. they're getting paid to make the show, and we are not. if our writing ends up influencing the show, they owe us a check, imho.

twitter especially has really changed the fandom landscape, because the creators and actors feel so close and all-seeing, and that def comes with a multitude of problems. but i also think a lot of the hand wringing about fan interaction is overblown, in the sense that the people with the most control over what the creators/actors see and consume are the creators/actors themselves. this is why, after much deliberation, i didn't lock this fic to the archive. at the end of the day, if someone really wants to send this fic to famous people on twitter, the lock won't stop them. the best way for Mrs. R to never read this fic is for her to choose to never read it. i have no control over that.

all of that said, part of the joke of them listening to the dtbg podfic is me trying to be transparent that this fic is, at its most basic, my own masturbatory fantasy. do i want the cast irl reading my fic? probably not, or at least not until the show is over. is it totally a fantasy in my head that they're all sitting around talking about how brilliant my fan fiction is? oh yeah lmao.

i should write mpreg sometime! <3

[perpetual-fool]

Musings 2

(01/11/23,1k) Thoughts I've had about some personal things. (tired, feelings, mistakes, talking, childhood)

I am so tired: I'm doing better, but 'better' is not 'good'. There is so much to do and I have almost no energy to do it with. There's such a tremendous mess. Obviously, the world is fucked, society is a façade, and people are evil. But I don't have enough will to worry about those things yet. (Not that that that stops me if something brings it up.) I really can't keep up with just the cooking and cleaning and exercise I need just to live; I'm not sure what I should even do for all those things. I have so much fucking stuff acquired in the pursuit of any little thing that might make me happy, and if nothing else that needs to be organized and stored. And I can't even begin to deal with money, legal, or medical stuff. But I'm gonna have to, 'cause my heart problem came back. I'm almost certainly going to have to have surgery again to get it fixed. I really don't want have to see the inside of a hospital again for another decade. And I just have little aches, pains, weird little sensations so often now. I'm sure my reactions are overblown to an extent. After what I was(n't) told about my heart problem the first time, I'm conditioned to feel like any little thing might kill me. Like, "a little sore spot in your leg? feel slightly dizzy? headache? better pack your hospital bag." But this stuff didn't used to happen. And I need maintenance I've never had to worry about before. It's like my body just broke in 2019. I don't have the energy for this. I've never had the energy for this. Maybe things would be easier if I had anything to look forward to. I'm just blindly searching at this point, I have no reason to think anything is going to go anywhere. Although Cat is talking to me again, for now. That's the one good thing I have. Though she may decide she doesn't want to bother.

Tainted feelings: I'm having an ongoing problem, any time I think of something that might be fun or interesting, I reflexively feel bad about it. I'll see a well made drawing or something, and just as I'm about to feel some way about it, I'm reminded of a bad experience I've had related to drawing, and feel bad. Reasoning at it doesn't seem to do anything; logic doesn't seem to apply. I think I just have to decide to feel good instead of bad? Maybe when I start thinking "you're a piece of shit" about some idea, I need to go back and say "no, that idea is good actually". For just a moment, a day or so, I had hope and clarity. That has happened before. I think maybe I was so exhausted I wasn't processing anything past the change itself. So for a moment it seemed like things were going to get better, not seeing the challenges that would entail.

Mistakes are good?: I've felt bad any time I couldn't achieve, essentially, perfection. Any little mistake, any sub-optimal choice, any experimental dead end was not acceptable. I'm not sure where I learned it, but it doesn't make any sense. Even assuming perfection is the goal, you don't get there by just being perfect. You get there by study, experimentation, and practice. You get there by making mistakes. So, I should feel good about failure? each one being a step towards being better. How do I feel good about things?

Talking with Cat: Cat is talking to me again. She seems to be okay with the kind of stuff I want to talk about, and she seems to be able/willing to explain things in a way I can actually understand. Although that turned out to be harder than I thought. Problem being, it's not just the one idea I need explained, but all the prerequisites too. But it seems to be going well I feel as strongly as I ever did. Maybe more now that I'm not 'muted'. I have neither the context to understand what's happening nor to know what others would call it. It feels sort of warm? and there's this 'pulling' sensation in my chest. I'm thinking about her more often than not. I really want to try and say affectionate things, but she's not comfortable with that at the moment. Waiting is hard; she doesn't have a lot of time to spare these days. Also I feel kind of sad, but that's because I'm afraid of losing her, which would be devastating. She apparently has mixed feelings. She said she still has some positive feelings about me, though I don't know why anyone would. And she feels resentment about some things, but we haven't had time to get into it. I don't know if it's resolvable. I guess if my presence is going to make her unhappy then I don't want to bother her. Aside: if this doesn't work, there's not going to be anyone else. I know not to try and connect anymore.

What is a childhood supposed to be?: I was wondering, what is growing up supposed to be like? There's definitely a prescribed series of events that society expects should happen, as with school being mandatory. Other people my age might kids or a doctorate at this point, but I'm just starting to figure out how to live, from scratch. If nothing else, certainly that's something that's something that's supposed to have been taught by now. Although judging by the handful of people I've dealt with, no one has any fucking idea what they're doing. It's just another façade I guess. Maybe you're not supposed to be a person, maybe you're supposed to be a worker, a worshiper, or a subject. Almost never have I heard people express motivations in terms of what they want, it's almost always been a variant of "(in this circumstance) you're supposed to _". Are there people in there at all?

[prinxe-with-no-crown]

.

[shihalyfie]

A guide to the 02 kids’ personalities and overall demeanors

I’ve already covered the deeper details of each 02 kid’s character arc and development throughout the series, but I figured I might dedicate a more specific post about the complexities of their outer personalities, and their behavior patterns on a day-to-day basis. 02 is the kind of series that doesn’t really spell out what the characters tend to do or don’t tend to do, or what boundaries they will and won’t cross, which means it can be a bit of a challenging task to track their behavior over fifty episodes and figure out the patterns. Fortunately, these characters are written remarkably consistently over said episodes, so we have a lot to work with!

Disclaimer before we continue: In general, all of my 02-based meta is specifically written for the Japanese version in mind, but this especially applies to this one, because the majority of the nuances of the demeanor and personality traits described below were not retained in the American English dub at all (please see this post for more detail). As a result, please understand that if you’re working from the perspective of having only seen that dub, and the contents of the below post sound completely different, that would be why.

Daisuke and V-mon

Believe it or not, I would say that Daisuke is actually the most difficult to nail the nuances of out of this entire cast. This is probably a really weird thing to hear when the usual fandom mantra is that he’s “flat” or “lacking in development”, but I think the deceptive part is that while he’s simple-minded and himself doesn’t think in complex terms, analyzing his behavior as a whole and how he approaches things actually involves a lot of very delicate balances, and getting that exactly right can be very easy to mess up. Daisuke’s not a rude jerk who looks down on anyone, not in the slightest -- but he’s also not a saint who can do no wrong, either!

I think the easiest analogy (which I’ve brought up several times on this blog already) is that Daisuke is like a puppy, but not just any puppy -- a tiny puppy that barks very loudly at anything it perceives as threatening (regardless of whether it’s actually threatening), makes its feelings very clear with obvious likes and dislikes, and can do some phenomenally stupid things in a bid to please others, but in the end means no malice and only wants you to be happy.

This is to the point where I’m just going to have to bullet-point this, because there’s so much going on at once:

Excessively emotional: One of Daisuke’s earliest profiles refers to him as having “an excessively large range of human emotions”, and really, a lot of the humor surrounding him has to do with the fact he has incredibly dramatic, overblown reactions to nearly everything around him. So if he gets a little annoyed or suspicious of people making fun of him, he tends to get really dramatic about being upset, and when he experiences only a minor setback, he acts like it’s the end of the world, and when he’s emotionally hurt, he sometimes even gets set on the verge of crying (you can especially hear this in Kiuchi Reiko’s delivery). Even Daisuke himself doesn’t tend to get caught up in it for too long and gets over things surprisingly quickly, so you can take it as him just constantly being too wrapped up in the mood -- but when it really is a serious situation, he gets truly emotionally invested in it, too.

Too easy to read: Because Daisuke wears his heart on his sleeve and is dramatic about everything, he’s awful at hiding anything. Any attempt at trickery or trying to disguise his intentions quickly blows up in his face because he’s too simple-minded and too transparent.

Not malicious: Daisuke only ever lashes out or gets angry at others when he thinks others are doing something he disapproves of, or when he thinks he’s being attacked; he’s very warm and kind to everyone otherwise (even in the earliest parts of the series, when he’s at his roughest, you might notice he’s very soft around Chibimon, as if understanding that his partner is now in a very small and delicate form and needs to be treated accordingly). In other words, Daisuke is very quick to get defensive, but he has no malice or reason to be condescending towards anyone otherwise, and he’s perfectly friendly with people even when they’d provoked him earlier (because he doesn’t really hold grudges). He doesn’t attack people without reason; even when he voices dissent against what someone is doing, he very rarely, if ever, insults a person or their character directly. Even when he’s trying to state his opinions (such as when he bids for the others to accept Ken), he never forces them down others’ throats and accepts that they disagree with him, even if he’s clearly not happy with their disagreement.

Easily critical and suspicious: Daisuke is a very bluntly straightforward and honest person, and he seems to get most set off by people who act suspicious; note how his early-series outbursts towards Takeru tend to be when Takeru’s acting evasive, and in Hurricane Touchdown, he catches onto Wallace’s shady behavior even before he starts flirting with Miyako (Daisuke’s own method of trying to seem attractive to others involves just “doing something cool and hoping it’ll impress others”, so he seems to dislike the concept of flirting as a whole). Because of that, he catches easily onto “things looking off”, so he tends to call it out (even if sometimes he’s overdoing it and there isn’t actually anything significant to be upset about).

Supportive and adoring of others: Other than the moments when he gets set off, fundamentally speaking, Daisuke likes other people, is perfectly willing to acknowledge them or heap praise on them when they do something awesome, and generally cares for their well-being. He’s easily defers to others when he understands they’re better than him at something, and he even has a decently realistic scope of his limits (see how he’s perfectly aware he’s likely to lose the soccer game in 02 episode 8, and figures he might as well enjoy the experience). This is even taken to its logical conclusion in the Kizuna drama CD when he “credits” his friends for giving him amazing and insightful advice when all of it was actually pretty ordinary stuff they’d done offhandedly. It also means that, given his penchant for getting emotionally invested in everything, he has a huge emotional stake in making sure his friends are doing okay, and supports them accordingly.

Deferential to seniors/elders: Tying into the above, you may notice that Daisuke takes a properly respectful and soft tone towards his elders and seniors in nearly all occasions, even to the point of occasionally using proper polite-form language around them. All things considered, Daisuke is a pretty well-behaved kid.

Constantly getting strung around: As much as Daisuke looks like he’s aggressive, in actuality, it’s very easy to get him to back down if you argue against him strongly enough, and since he has such a “the heck is that?!” attitude all of the time, you can see him constantly getting strung around and at the mercy of things happening around him. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t have enough will to put his foot down when it becomes a really important subject (especially in the second half of the series), but it’s very often when he’ll be talked down by others around him and shrink with an “oh...okay...” In fact, this is why a lot of his actions aren’t nearly as reckless as they might be otherwise; as much as he’s a bit hot-headed and likes to lead the attack, he also has a sense of self-preservation and intimidation when things look a bit too dangerous, and will only push forward in such a case when there’s something he really believes in at the other side of it.

Lacking in self-awareness and insecure as a result: While Daisuke doesn’t have any signs of persistent self-hatred (on the contrary, there are times he arguably comes off as overconfident), it also seems that he has practically zero awareness of how he himself is doing -- which means that he ends up rolling over like an idiot trying to get others’ approval and trying to impress them, even when it’d be clear to anyone else that he already has that approval. This also likely ties into the fact that he’s perfectly capable of acknowledging others’ accomplishments and skills (see above), so you might even think that the problem isn’t so much that he thinks he’s bad as much as he keeps comparing himself to people he perceives as being that much more awesome. (Perhaps symbolic of this, he apparently has a complex over being shorter than Takeru and Ken, despite the fact that he seems to be of perfectly average height for a kid his age.) It seems that his only bar for how he’s doing is dependent on everyone’s reactions around him, hence why his ridiculous antics are significantly less pronounced when he has proper emotional support and friends to keep him in check. It’s also important to consider that this applies to his apparent crush on Hikari as well; his crush mainly manifests in wanting her approval very badly, and it’s mostly visible in terms of him losing a ton of brain cells in her presence and bending over backwards to please her or impress her. He never actually says in words that he’s interested in her, nor does he ever show signs of intending to seriously ask her out, so it’s something that’s only apparent because of this behavior, and it’s very likely he hasn’t even seriously thought through what would happen if she actually accepted him in return. You can basically see this as an extreme version of the way Daisuke tries to get approval from everyone else, and this trait of his noticeably dies down whenever there’s more important things at hand, or when he seems to be in the midst of getting proper validation from those around him.

Simple-minded and pragmatic: What’s usually referred to as Daisuke being an “idiot” comes from the fact he doesn’t play well with complex thinking, tends to settle for very simple explanations or answers, and more thoughtful types like Ken or Iori will often have to fill that part in for him. However, because Daisuke is so simple-minded, he’s sometimes the most pragmatic person in the group, because he doesn’t overthink things or get principles of theory caught up into everything. So if Ken is clearly not showing any indication of doing bad things anymore and is actively working to help, Daisuke believes he should be allowed to help regardless of what he’d done in the past, and if they’re dealing with the situation of potentially having to kill a living enemy, Daisuke points out that hesitation would have resulted in even more casualties. In essence, in a situation where everyone’s running mental loop-de-loops, Daisuke will usually be the first one to snap them all out of it and go “uh? Guys?” Moreover, this trait of his makes him very good at spotting glaring threads or asking questions about the elephant in the room, because since he works best with things that are right in front of him, he can’t not notice it.

Enjoys the little things: Because Daisuke is so simple-minded, it’s very easy to please him (this is why his chosen career path is something as simple as ramen making). Daisuke likes his friends, and appreciates even simple things around him, so he’s happy with even simple pieces of happiness -- hence, why he’s fine with potentially losing the soccer game in 02 episode 8, because he’s ready to simply just savor the experience of getting to play against a respectable and formidable opponent.

Note that the main reason Daisuke never seems to bring up any of these issues with himself within the series proper is simply that he doesn’t seem to be aware of them -- he’s too simple-minded to understand what’s going on with his own behavior in depth, and hence, this is how he can say he’s not worried about too much by the time of 02′s finale, especially since by that point he has a proper support group that’s already helping him deal with most of his issues anyway.

Daisuke also has the roughest speech pattern out of any of the 02 group (similar to Taichi and Yamato in Adventure); he has a tendency to shorten words a lot and use “rough” variants of words (for example “-nee” instead of “-nai”).

Mischievous, friendly, and playful, V-mon is pointed out even by official sources to be much like his partner (far more so than usual), and it’s likely a byproduct of the fact that Daisuke himself is very honest and straightforward about his emotions and thoughts, and so since he has nothing to hide, V-mon is pretty much exactly like him -- with the major difference being that he’s a little more outwardly friendly and less likely to lash out angrily. So he’s effectively Daisuke without that very thin abrasive exterior, and because both of them are so like-minded and friendly, they get along extremely well (albeit with quite a bit of comfortable bantering on the way there).

Ken and Wormmon

Ken is the more intellectual type that Daisuke isn’t, and even after his stint as the Kaiser, it’s clear that he’s still quite studious and naturally interested in studying things. Looking closely at his style of dress and way of carrying himself (note how he lays down his chopsticks in 02 episode 36) indicates he’s also a rather tidy person in general. Being someone who’s capable of thinking things thoroughly, this makes him able to have a lot of deep insight into both intellectual and emotional issues, but because he takes things too seriously sometimes, he can sometimes come off as a bit overly stickler or insistent (note Daisuke and Ken’s Shopping Carol, where he subjects Daisuke to a long-winded lecture about the history of Christmas, because, really, he’s a nerd), or lead himself down the wrong direction when he’s having a hard time being straightforward (such as when he comes up with some very flimsy theories about why Jogress might be dangerous in 02 episode 28).

In fact, Ken’s disposition could be considered to be the opposite of Daisuke’s in many ways; while Ken is much softer and more conciliatory on the surface, he’s actually much more assertive and strong-willed by default, and it’s made clear that, even after his reformation from the Kaiser persona, he could still be vicious if he wanted to, he just doesn’t enjoy it because he doesn’t like it and it goes against his belief system (note that he even offered to "dirty his own hands" in lieu of the other kids if push came to shove and Archnemon had to be killed in 02 episode 29, even though he clearly wasn't enthusiastic about the idea). In fact, he has a very strong sense of responsibility and believes heavily in making up for what he’s done -- recall that 02 episodes 26 and 49 involved snapping him out of it by reminding him that there were things that needed to be done, and that he himself still had many things he wanted to do that wouldn’t be addressed if he’d stayed fixated on his past. Thus, Ken doesn’t deny nor avoid anything he’d done, and he isn’t even all that prone to self-pity -- it’s just that his tendency to put too much responsibility on himself means that he also takes a while to accept everyone’s support, too, because he doesn’t like the idea of putting burdens on others.

Because Ken is actually one of the more straightforward people in this group and a fairly honest person (at least, as long as he’s not lying to himself), he might hold himself back a little bit in order to not be rude, but he doesn’t do it nearly to the same degree Takeru or Hikari would and is much more willing to speak his mind when he has an opinion he wants to voice or needs to sort out his thoughts on something. Conversely, he’s not nearly as cold as Iori can get when criticizing things (he’ll certainly be firm, but not as incisive). Most post-02 materials also indicate that he’s not above being a tease or even a little mischievous (see Armor Evolution to the Unknown, Diablomon Strikes Back, Daisuke and Ken’s Shopping Carol).

Ken uses a speech pattern that’s slightly more casual than Takeru’s, but not nearly as rough as Daisuke’s. While anime will often have speech patterns substantially change between different personas of a character, other than Park Romi’s delivery of a more condescending tone for the Kaiser and a significantly softer one for Ken, nothing about his speech pattern is substantially different between the two personas (not even the first-person pronoun), indicating that, in the end, they’re really the same person after all, just manifesting the same personality traits in different ways.

Wormmon is affectionate and clingy, unfailingly loyal to Ken, and his biggest advocate during a time when Ken is trying to relearn how to love and accept himself -- meaning that he ends up very important to providing Ken the initial support he needed before Ken allowed other friends into his life. Wormmon isn’t all nothing but clinginess, though -- he has some insight about the weight of his experiences when prompted (02 episode 46), and in fact is more than capable of calling out Ken’s behavior when he’s being unreasonable or throwing himself into denial (see 02 episodes 27, 30, and 49).

Miyako and Hawkmon

Miyako approaches everything she likes with an attitude that makes her come off as constantly having bubbles and hearts around her. When she likes something, she says so. When she doesn’t like something, she says so (and she will go off when she’s on a roll; see 02 episode 14). In fact, part of the reason she so infamously voices her opinion on people being cute is, quite simply, that it’s her honest opinion. (Note that she never actually tries to ask them out or anything -- she just wants to make it very clear that they’re attractive.)

For the most part, she adores the people around her, and, like the others in the 02 group, she’s perfectly respectful towards elders.  She also loves poking her nose in others’ business and trying to be as helpful as possible, which is good in that she ends up being a huge help to others, but also not good in that sometimes she overdoes it a bit (when Hikari calls her out for being a “handful” in 02 episode 31, the word she uses is one that literally means "a little too overly involved in others' business").

Miyako is the one who gets everyone up in high spirits by being cheerful, and whose cheer rubs off on everyone else around her (see her cheerfully leading the charge into the Digital World with her “Digital Gate, open! Chosen Children, let’s roll!” catchphrase). This is something the rest of the group catches onto very quickly, asking her to supply the “usual cheer”, and the later episodes of the series especially drive home the fact that her presence and antics bring happiness to those around her.

Miyako has a similar “chaotic, sloppy, and straightforward” demeanor to Daisuke, but there are some key differences. Unlike Daisuke, who’s bluntly honest about his opinions mainly because he doesn’t really hide things in general, Miyako’s opinions will be out of her mouth before she can control it. In other words, she has a nasty case of foot-in-mouth syndrome. In addition, while Daisuke tends to have a very thin skin and lashes out defensively out of instinct, Miyako takes things much more at face value and doesn’t blow a fuse nearly as easily, but because she’s significantly more assertive and aggressive, she’s much more prone to doing what she wants on her own whims instead of backing down to anyone. In fact, Miyako is significantly more emotionally sensitive in the long run, so while Daisuke tends to blow a fuse more easily, he’s also able to shrug it off and move on more quickly, whereas Miyako has a thicker skin, but when she does take emotional pain, she takes it much more deeply and harshly. She also tends to get overwhelmed easily by stress and panic, which makes her one of the more prone to running around in circles and doing frantic things in the midst of it.

One thing you might notice about Miyako is that she’s actually more critical of herself than anyone else in the group is; most of the time they act with mild exasperation at her antics but don’t tend to criticize her directly, whereas Miyako is very aware of her own shortcomings and is constantly either criticizing herself or comparing herself negatively to others (see: 02 episodes 10, 14, 18, and 31 especially). If she slips up and does something that stepped on someone else’s toes, it doesn’t take her long to realize that she’s messed up and want to do better. So while she generally tends to act the most in-your-face and aggressive, she also doesn’t necessarily want to be this way, and suffers from self-confidence issues and a poor opinion of herself.

Miyako uses a feminine speech pattern that’s a bit more casual than Hikari’s (she noticeably is willing to use the word anta for “you”, which has a bit of a connotation of being abrupt and in-your-face, especially with Daisuke). She’s also the most likely to physically manhandle things, both in the affectionate (hugging people) and aggressive (grabbing things and jumping on them in order to attack) senses.

Hawkmon is repeatedly referred to as being like Miyako’s “knight”, since he has absolute loyalty to her (in spite of her ridiculous antics often meaning he gets strung around by her) and is effectively in charge of minding her so she doesn’t get too out of control. While his overly polite and gentlemanly demeanor initially seems like a sharp contrast to Miyako’s aggressive and messy personality, you might also notice that, at their cores, the two aren’t all that different -- both are unfailingly loyal to others, and both also have a penchant for dramatic theatrics and being a bit overly proud of themselves.

Iori and Armadimon

The key thing to know about Iori is that he’s not stoic because he’s not feeling fervent emotions, but rather because he’s constantly holding them back (this is especially apparent if you look carefully at his facial expressions and Urawa Megumi’s delivery, where you can tell his facade is often “slipping” even when his words would indicate otherwise). Since Iori is trying to live by the ideal of being a model citizen, especially under the very formal environment he was raised in, he comes off as mature for his age, but it’s very important to not forget that, underneath all that, he’s still an impressionable nine-year-old child with the wide range of emotions and immaturity of one, and when he does emotionally fall apart, everything tends to burst out (see 02 episodes 16, 44, 47, 50). In addition, Iori is never condescending about the fact he usually acts more mature than the others; the impression is that he’s much more strict with himself than he is with others, and in fact still does look up to his elders in the 02 group even when they’re obviously a lot messier than he is.

The “need to be a model citizen” is something looming over Iori’s head at almost every moment, and it’s the easiest way to understand the way he acts in a nutshell. Iori is focused on the idea of “becoming a proper adult”, which means that he’s adhering to all of these principles because he feels they’re necessary to live a proper and honest life as per the formal manners that his family background trained him into. But like a young child who insists “you have to do this because those are the rules!” all of the time, Iori is over-applying all of this, and even his own grandfather advises him that he really needs to chill (02 episodes 5, 24). In short, he struggles with thinking flexibly and understanding that life isn’t all that clear-cut, because he’s a young child. Since he also tends to bring out these things in relation to “what my father would do/say”, it’s implied that he’s basing all of this off of having only hearsay to work off of in regards to what his father was actually like, to the point of aspiring to an impossible, saintlike version of him he’d created in his head.

Note that Iori’s “rules” have less to do with institutional rules (that would be more of a Jou thing) and more to do with self-imposed personal rules; for instance, he doesn’t mind sneaking into school during a holiday when it’s obviously not hurting anyone (02 episode 6), but he struggles with things like wasting food (02 episode 3) or not formally introducing himself to an elder (02 episode 5). So in other words, his adherence to principles has heavily to do with “the right and proper way to live” more than anything, and what he believes is the right thing to do in a given situation.

Iori’s journey in 02 is largely fueled by the fact that, as an inheritor of sorts of the Crest of Knowledge, he has a sense of “I want to know and understand more” whenever he sees something that makes him curious, but unlike Koushirou’s desire to learn more about the world around him in terms of its technical workings, Iori mainly wants to know more about people. The reason he begins to let go of his inflexible mindset is that he has the humility to understand that he still has a lot more to learn and understand, and when he sees behavior from others that doesn’t make sense, he does his best to learn more about it -- hence how his aggressive probing into learning more about Takeru allows them to reach an understanding and eventual Jogress, and how he’s able to eventually reassess his own view of human morality and emotions.

Iori sticks out in that he almost always uses the formal variant of Japanese in most situations (nobody else in the 02 group does this). However, formal in this situation doesn’t necessarily mean polite; Iori doesn’t believe in flattery and will bluntly state his opinion in said formal tone, and will be very cold towards something he sufficiently disapproves of or doesn’t have any respect for, which can make him even come off as passive-aggressive at times. (Noticeably, while he still asserts his own opinion, he does refrain from criticizing the others in the 02 group too much, presumably because he respects and looks up to them a lot as his elders, regardless of how chaotic they can sometimes get.) In addition, because a lot of his demeanor comes from him restraining himself, when his emotions are sufficiently pushed over the edge, he loses grip on the polite form and starts “lapsing” back into the casual one.

Because Iori was so young during 02, and because the events of its story ended up really upending his view of the world, the huge eight-year gap between 02 and Kizuna makes it difficult to predict certain things about his demeanor at the time of Kizuna (especially since his own voice actor commented on the difficulty of conveying the nuances of Iori’s character, thanks to only being able to work with the limited time frame of a movie that doesn’t put him in the kinds of emotionally drastic situations that push him to his limit). That said, everything we’ve seen of him in the movie itself and the drama CD makes reasonable sense; now that he’s much older, he comes off as having much better restraint on his emotions and coming off as genuinely calm, but he’s still not one for flattery, and you can still see very minor slips in his facade every so often.

Armadimon also initially seems like a sharp contrast to Iori in terms of demeanor, in that he’s much more casual and laid-back, and he’s indeed a huge factor in reminding Iori to chill once in a while -- but, much like Iori, he prods and asks questions about anything he’s curious about. This initially seems to be out of simple-mindedness because, being a Digimon, he doesn’t understand human society that well, but his very basic questions often end up snapping Iori back to reality in realizing that he’s getting hung up on things that don’t actually make practical sense. Urawa also felt that Armadimon fills in some of the void that Iori’s late father left behind, in that he provides Iori with unconditional love and helps guide him.

Takeru and Patamon

Takeru is the kind of person who seems to dislike major disruptions to the status quo, so he doesn’t say anything inflammatory that’ll rock the boat. It’s very difficult to get him to talk about serious topics related to his deeper personal feelings (02 episode 17, 35, Spring 2003), and even when it’s clear he might have more misgivings on the situation, unless it’s an urgent situation where it needs to be brought up, he won’t voice his misgivings too clearly for the sake of not causing trouble (hence why Daisuke is so unsure what to make of him in the early episodes of the series, because Takeru constantly fails to clarify his own position in favor of a “good for you” or “sure, you keep believing that if you want” attitude). This also makes him the most likely to awkwardly change the subject or try to distract with small talk, and it means that, even when he’s saying cheerful, pleasant things, it’s very likely there’s pain or uncertainty under that initial facade. (Note that while his suspicions of Ken during 02 episodes 25 and 27 aren't nearly as vicious as Iori's turn out to be, we learn that he's still willing to quietly accuse Ken of working for his own self-satisfaction in the latter episode, but he never brings this up to anyone but himself.)

Because Takeru isn’t  necessarily doing this to be consciously dishonest, it does mean that he also has positive applications of this tendency to take everything in stride and keep the peace, because he ends up keeping the more extreme personalities in the rest of the group in line and acts as an effective mediator. You could say that he has a pretty high amount of tolerance and a capacity for taking everyone’s points of view in mind. However, since it’s also very difficult to tell what he himself is thinking, his use of this as a poor coping mechanism for his personal trauma leads to a tendency for him to suddenly explode in a mess of emotions whenever something gets too personal, leading to sudden conflict, and with others at a loss in terms of how to deal with him (the most extreme example being 02 episode 19, but also present in 13, 11, and 34). This “two-sidedness” is why it ends up having to be the more consciously methodical Iori who steps up to try and understand him better as his Jogress partner.

Fortunately, Takeru shows signs of becoming more straightforward in the aftermath, although you can see that he still has a penchant for mild flattery and “trying to hold back for the sake of not being rude” all the way up to Kizuna (but, again, this can’t be said to necessarily be a bad thing when it means he has a valuable skill as a mediator).

Takeru has a fairly neutral speech pattern that comes off as casual but not too aggressive or assertive (not as absurdly polite as Iori’s, but slightly less assertive than Ken’s).

Patamon initially still seems to be “immature” in the same way he was in Adventure, which initially seems to widen the gap in personality between him and Takeru, but looking closer reveals that the differences aren’t as big as they seem; Patamon seems to have gained a capability for slyness and active trolling behind his playfulness (see 02 episode 7), not entirely like Takeru starting to use his evasiveness in a teasing-like manner. Moreover, Patamon does actually seem to have gained a bit of proper maturity in the meantime; see how he instructs the Baby Digimon on convenience store food in 02 episode 3, and in general seems much more willing to take independent action in ways he didn’t always in Adventure. Noticeably, Takeru’s difficulty with his own convoluted feelings means that he can’t even have a proper heart-to-heart with him about it on the situation (most glaring in 02 episode 34, where it’s implied that Takeru would rather leave Patamon to be happy right now instead of bothering him about it), especially because he’s clearly having difficulty even working it out with himself. However, despite their ostensible differences in mentality, Takeru and Patamon have no difficulty getting along at all in 02, and, other than Takeru pampering Patamon a bit, there isn’t all that strong of an impression of them being so mismatched -- perhaps because, in the end, they really aren’t all that different.

Hikari and Tailmon

Taichi stated in Adventure episode 48 that Hikari has a problem where she's so selfless and thinking of others that she'll never speak up about her own problems. Hikari states in 02 episode 31 that she compulsively cannot speak out about her own feelings even if she wanted to, to the point she’s jealous of Miyako for being able to be more open (even if it means being overkill at times). As a result: if Hikari’s talking about “the right thing to do”, or something for everyone’s sake, or something that’s relevant to other people and what’s best for them, she will be extremely vocal and quick to act, and she’s not above even chipping in with criticisms (see: 02 episodes 19, 32, 44). In fact, she’s fully capable of being playful or toying with others if she really wants to (see how she casually manipulates Daisuke into calling a lunch break for everyone in 02 episode 6).

The moment the issue at hand is about herself, though -- her own feelings or pain, or something that might hurt others’ feelings (hence the presumable reason she dodges Daisuke’s affections rather than proactively doing anything about it), or something that would put a burden on others for her own sake -- she completely clams up and refuses to do or say anything, and when bad things start happening to her, she resigns herself to her own fate and concludes she can’t do anything about it. Hence, why she takes such a defeatist attitude towards the Dark Ocean swallowing her up in 02 episodes 13 and 31, and why it’s such a big deal if she even so much as asks for help. 02 episode 31 indicates that Miyako reaching out to her is an important step in breaking her out of her shell, and the Kizuna drama CD -- which has Hikari assertively declare something she personally wants -- heavily implies further that Miyako was instrumental to this becoming possible.

Hikari is compassionate for others to the very end, expresses pity for BlackWarGreymon as early as 02 episode 31, and catches on quickly to Ken’s feelings on himself in 02 episode 37 (and even back when she’d been more skeptical about him in 02 episode 25, she never seemed to have real personal distaste against him as much as she still wanted to make sure he was trustworthy first). But although she’s one of the most compassionate in the group, she’s also one of the most assertive in the group. This leads to something that initially seems like a paradox: she’s actually more fervent about the need to fight than the more aggressive Miyako is. Miyako is, ultimately, emotionally caught up in everything and briefly falls apart at having killed LadyDevimon in 02 episode 44 (even despite knowing how horrible of a person she’d been), but Hikari is the one who points out that there would have been more victims if they hadn’t. 02 episodes 25 and 43 had made it abundantly clear that Hikari didn’t like it at all, but she states in 02 episode 37 repeatedly that they need to prevent there from being victims -- meaning that she values the importance of protecting all lives, including those who would be hurt in the process, and thus has some of the more resilient guts when it comes to the prospect of fighting to save others. Again, her hesitation only comes into play at its worst when it has to do with herself; working to save others is a no-brainer.

Hikari uses a casual feminine speech pattern that’s less in-your-face than Miyako’s, but she’s still a bit more casual than she was in Adventure, when she used the more polite watashi instead of atashi. Interestingly, Tailmon herself seems to have mirrored this as well, presumably because now that she’s had more time to recover from her miserable life under Vamdemon, she’s able to enjoy her life a bit more freely. This means that, while Tailmon is still the most mature and put-together of the Digimon partners in the 02 group, she sometimes acts a little more casual and playful in a similar way to Hikari, and while she has a certain degree of stuffy personal pride (see how she wasn’t very amused at how frivolously the other Digimon were playing around in 02 episode 3), she’s still open to enjoying herself a little more freely. Hikari, for her part, becomes surprisingly like-minded with her during those times -- see them in 02 episode 12 -- and, as stated earlier, it’s not like Hikari isn’t up for making tough decisions when they’re needed, either.

[warrioreowynofrohan]

Thoughts on Mistborn Era 2 (Wax & Wayne):

My main take on these was “ah, looks like Brandon’s taking some time off from his magnum opus to write pulp Western/detective/crime novels”, and I was very amused to look up Brandon’s comments and see a ton of interviews with him saying, “so, this is absolutely me having some fun writing pulp Western/crime novels”. It’s nice to have a writer who’s not too proud to - accurately - describe his own stuff as pulp yet still do a good job of it. They remind me a little of the Dresden Files in terms of the mystery aspects, the urban fantasy tone, the wit, the lack of diplomatic/political subtlety of the protagonists and, of course, the rampant property destruction. But Brandon’s a much more thoughtful author than Jim Butcher, and treats his female characters better.

On the topic of gratuitous property destruction: Wax, for goodness’ sakes, stop shooting the ground! That’s infrastructure, Wax! Fixing the streets takes work, Wax! You’re not a dusty dirt road in the middle of nowhere any more, Wax! Just drop a coin like they dud in the old days! Or a shell casing or bullet if you desperately need to be hardcore. But rampantly firing off weapons in urban areas just to get a base for your Allomancy is a terrible idea.

This was a wonderful follow-up to Mistborn because it was a lot lighter and the stakes were a lot lower, which is nice for a change. I was reading the intro to Elantris where it was talking about people in Brandon’s early writing group telling him he needed to raise the stakes, and personally, I like low stakes. Well of Ascension/Hero of Ages were a grind, much as I liked the ending, and I would be up for more stories like Dawnshard, with low stakes and the heroes resolving the plot by non-violent means.

Marasi and Steris are both very well-done characters - I was definitely shipping Wax/Marasi in the first book and had no expectations of the Wax/Steris engagement lasting, so I was quite surprised, but the switch was well done and I liked it. Marasi and Wax’s feelings were a crush/hero worship and a rebound, respectively. And it’s nice to see a relationship grow gradually like Wax and Steris’ did. What Brandon did with Steris, starting out with a portrayal readers are unlikely to lije and letting her grow on them, is risky (especially with female characters) because readers may hold to first impressions, but I thought it worked very well.

Wayne’s backstory and reaction to it hit hard and was one of the best elements in the series. Another entry in the diverse array of Sanderson redemption arcs. It’s interesting because Wayne both is and isn’t haunted by it - he takes it seriously, it affects him deeply, but he doesn’t habitually brood, and it doesn’t prevent him from being a generally lighthearted, funny, silly person most of the time.

Wayne is absolutely right about the value of certain goids being an arbitrary thing invented by rich people. I’ve had caviar, once (as a garnish on a nice pasta dish at a fancy restaurant). It tastes like nothing. Entirely nodescript. The sole purpose of caviar is to communicate “this dish is fancy (and so, by connection, is the person eating it)”.

I’m deeply protective of Sazed and get very affonted when characters criticize him. I think he’s done an excellent job. It’s hard to wrap my head around the sheer scale of Bleeder’s overreaction to the possibility of her boyfriend moving back to the city. Though on one level it makes sense in that the kandra are of Preservation: she is going to see maintwnance of an existing situation as inherently better and more desirable, even if a change could still turn out well and be something Wax enjoyed. And I don’t feel like Sazed telling him about Bleeder being Lessie would have helped anything - it just would have made the decision to kill her harder, not less necessary, because she was incredibly malicious, destructive, and dangerous and there was no other way of containing her.

The resolution of Shadows of Self is exactly the sort of thing I wanted to see, politically: the mass protests and risk of riot over poor wages, unemployment, and mustreatment of workers is resolved by a committment to address those problems, because the workers’ anger is legitimate and their cause is just.

I’m heartily frustrated by Wax, because it is his responsibility - it is literally his job, he has employees and a Senate seat! - to address the major political and economic problems of Elendel, and he neglects them. I don’t care if you’d rather be out shooting things! You have resposibilities! The workers in your factories are the source of the money and prestige that lets you engage in your gentleman-crimefighter hobby, and you owe it to them to see that the city operates in their interests. You can do far more good in that way than by shootin’ bad guys. Do. Your. Damn. Job. Steris seems to be nudging him in that direction, at least.

In general I’m impatient with a lot of the law-enforcement attitudes. Miles is a villain for whom I have absolutely no sympathy. Oh, so you’ve turned evil because, despite your 15 years of work in law enforcement, crime still exists? Yeah, maybe that’s because your belief that crime will stop existing if you shoot and/or hang enough people was never realistic. Likewise with Wax’s skepticism regarding Marasi’s ideas on how crime can be reduced through better urban planning and social policies - no, Wax, it won’t entirely eliminate crime, there will always be people who are just plain malicious, greedy, venal, or violent, but if you can reduce it by, say, 50-70% by better social policy, that would still be a good thing, right?

The period newspapers are great fun. I want a TenSoon plushie! Come on, Brandon, you’re musding out on a fantastic marketing opportunity! The one thing that bugged me was the ‘Pewternauts’ in The Bands of Mourning. In the first place, it’s a nonsensical name - real-world dreadnaughts, of which these are obviously supposed to be the equivalent, were called that because it literally meant ‘these having nothing they should fear’. The apex predator of military warships at the time, if you will. You can’t just create a random fantasy portmanteau amd pretend that it works - it’s like calling a scandal in a fantasy novel something-gate even though the Watergate scandal doesn’t exist in that world! Secondly, dreadnaughts were part of a massive military arms race in a world where European wars had been commonplace for centuries. The Elendel basin had never had a war in 300 years - these aren’t something that someone would invent just off the bat. Having similar technology to turn-of-the-century earth doesn’t mean it will be applied in the same ways, not with a completely different political context.

In general, New Seran’s complaints seemed overblown. Yes, the transit system treating Elendel as a hub and lacking effective connections between the outlying regions in aggravating. (It’s a provlem that plagues urban public transit systems even now - most routes are either local or feed into the city centre, with relatively few goung from one suburb to another, even as trans-suburban commuting vecomes more common.) But it’s not remotely the kind of thing you fight a war over! I feel like Brandon’s trying to recall the American Revolution, a bit, but the distances are so small (Elendel and New Seran are about as far apart as Ottawa and Toronto) as to make that ludicrous. What they really need is some kind of equivalent to a regional district authority, where representatives of multiple local governments can get together to work on issues of regional planning.

[thetrashsean]

“Why wasn’t Life is Strange 2 as popular as the first game?”

A lot of people like myself have wondered what exactly made Life is Strange 2 go so relatively unnoticed compared its predecessor, Life is Strange 1. And when you think about it, you may come up with the few obvious generic answers, such as the lack of Max and Chloe and just the original cast in general. However, I think there was a lot more at play here that prevented Life is Strange 2 from reaching the amount of success/popularity the first game had. So I want to take the time and break down what exactly happened to Life is Strange 2 and the things that hurt the game’s ability to really connect with the audience of LiS1.

Disclaimer: We do NOT know how well Life is Strange 2 was for Dontnod and if it was a success or not. No sales numbers have been given out to the public so there’s no way of knowing for sure how well the game did. What we do know is that LiS2 did not receive the same amount of attention/popularity as the first game. That can’t be denied, it simply didn’t. However, based on the fact that Dontnod have recently announced they are working on six new games at the moment and are now expanding their studio, even if LiS2 was a “flop” it doesn’t seem to have had much of an effect on them (most likely due to the success of Vampyr). Dontnod is going to be fine either way. Another thing I want to mention is that this is not a anti-LiS2 post and that I am a fan of the game. I’d consider myself a pretty big fan actually. I have my problems with the game of course and don’t agree with a lot of the writing decisions but I enjoyed the game very much overall. But for the sake of this post I will try to be as unbiased as possible, giving out only what I’ve observed when it comes to reactions from the fandom on different websites and forums. So with that all being said, let’s dive in to this.

Here I will be listing the many different reasons as to why Life is Strange 2 failed to reach the same amount of popularity as LiS1 or even BtS managed to achieve. This list isn’t in any particular order but some reasons are bigger/more important than others.

For some background, there was a lot of hype going into Life is Strange 2. The teaser trailer for it with the cop car trended at #2 on YouTube, a huge feat for the series. It generated immense amount of views and comments in a short period in time, completely surpassing Before the Storm’s announcement trailer in just a few weeks. So what exactly happened to all that hype? Where did everybody go? Well, let’s break everything down.

1. The lack of Max and Chloe: Yes I said that this list wouldn’t be in any particular order in terms of importance but I think it’s obvious this one is one of, if not the biggest reason as to why LiS2 failed to match LiS1’s popularity. When the protagonists Sean and Daniel were first revealed, the reception was pretty divisive. Specifically, a very vocal part of the community were baffled and disappointed at the lack of Max and Chloe present within the trailer and subsequently the game itself. This instantly turned off a lot of people from the game, as they couldn’t connect with the new characters or simply didn’t want to. At that point in the franchise Max and Chloe as well as the original cast from the first game had been the face of the series for almost three years. It’s understandable why it was hard for people to just…move on. To this day people are still asking for Max and Chloe to return. The Life is Strange subreddit is still dominated with Max and Chloe fanart. Whenever the social media accounts for Life is Strange post anything Max and Chloe related it gets way more attention compared to a post about Sean and Daniel. Whenever a post online goes viral about Life is Strange you can bet it’s most likely about Max and Chloe. Hell the only reason why episode 5 of Life is Strange 2 trended on Tumblr was because of the fucking picture of Max and Chloe. On the releas day of episode 5 of LiS2 the top post on the subreddit was the Max and Chloe picture. It was almost as if that one photo of them completely overshadowed the entire episode. Point is, Life is Strange 2 lost a lot of momentum the moment it was revealed Max and Chloe would not be present. Case closed, let’s move on.

2. The release schedule: Words cannot describe how frustrating the release schedule was for LiS2 when it came to it’s episodes. For those reading this who didn’t follow LiS2 until the game was finished, each episode took around 3-4 months to be released. This was because Dontnod bit off a bit more than they could chew with the road trip story in having to create new locations and character models from scratch. The reason why this wasn’t a problem for LiS1 was because Max was for the most part always in the same locations around the same characters (I’m pretty sure you roam around Chloe’s house like 4 times throughout the season), which made development a lot easier since the devs could just reuse a lot of the assets. Unfortunately, this wasn’t possible for LiS2 due to the nature of it’s story. The wait times between each episode made a lot of people leave the fandom due to loosing interest or simply forgetting about the game altogether. This also impacted youtubers/streamers as many of them either stopped coming back to play the new episodes or they’d not be as connected as they were in the previous episode due to the amount of time that had passed. One of the reasons why LiS1 gained so much popularity was because of youtubers/streamers and how they would bring in their audience and would pretty much make them fans of the series. With quite a handful of youtubers/streamers quitting LiS2, the game was not able to draw in as much of an audience as previous games did. This is how detreminetal the release schedule was for LiS2.

3. The marketing (or lack thereof): Square Enix really fucked up on this aspect. Due to the ridiculous wait times you would think Square Enix would try and advertise the game heavily when a new episode was about to be released, right? Well they didn’t. Not at all actually. Throughout the games release schedule from September 2018 up to December 2019, I had not seen a single ad for the game. Nothing on YouTube, nothing on reddit or any other websites, it was like Square Enix had completely forgotten about the game’s existence. Now don’t get me wrong, SE did do a few things with LiS2 like starting up the community series on their YouTube channel and also the dev updates that came after episode 1 (that stopped after episode 2 for some reason) but these went relatively unnoticed to people outside of the fandom and did pretty much nothing. I believe SE was trying to wait until the game was fully complete with all of it’s episodes released before actually marketing the game (and they DID start advertising the game after episode 5 came out) but that’s just WAAAY too long to go without any type of advertisement. I understand marketing teams have budgets and what not, but you’re telling me there was no way for SE to market each episode in anyway as they were about to be released? Seems a bit ridiculous, don’t you think?

4. The road trip story: I completely understand why Dontnod wanted to branch out and do something different with the story of Life is Strange 2 and I respect them for stepping out of their comfort zones. However, it can’t be denied that the road trip story where characters are cycled in and out as Sean and Daniel make their way to Mexico was a very…questionable decision. Seeing as how LiS1 was loved for it’s world filled with a reoccurring cast of characters that developed as the story went on, it’s really easy to understand why LiS2 was so off-putting for a lot of fans. It was off-putting for me, even. It just…wasn’t fun having to leave these truly interesting characters behind because the plot demanded it. This left a lot of characters feeling underdeveloped to many people and by the time you meet new characters you already know they’re most likely gonna be gone soon anyways, so it made it even harder to connect with them. Couple this with the fact that LiS2 lacked any type of mystery unlike LiS1, speculation and discussion fizzled out a few weeks after each episode was released. LiS1 kept people speculating and wondering about what would happen next, while LiS2 left a lot of people struggling to care.

5. Politics: Yeeeeaaaaah I think I had to put this somewhere on the list. While many of the people who tease and mock how LiS2 handled its political topics were most likely not fans of the series anyway (the type of people who called LiS1 “Life is Tumblr” and hate Chloe), I do think it’s important to realize that some people just don’t want politics in their games, period. I’ve seen people online come out and say that while they agreed with what the writers were saying when it came to the political topics, it overall still came off very forced and one-sided to them, lacking any type of nuance or subtlety. I could write an entire essay discussing if the politics in LiS2 were handled well and whatnot but this is not that post so I’ll just leave it at that.

6: Lack of a prominent female cast/wlw: This is a bit more tricky to talk about (for the record the person writing this is a black gay guy) but I will try and write about this the best way I can. For many women, specifically queer women, Life is Strange was a series they could expect representation from. Max, Chloe, Rachel, and Steph are all popular characters amongst the fandom and even other wlw ships such as Marshfield, Chasefield, Chaseprice, etc are popular. So when LiS2 was revealed to be about two (hispanic) males, the queer women within the community were understandably upset. It felt like DN were simply throwing away the community that for the most part made up the entire fandom. At the time I simply found the situation ridiculous and overblown as many people were dismissing Sean and Daniel as “generic straight males” (even though it turned out Sean was bisexual in the end) before really getting to know them. However, looking back I totally get why people were upset. A lot of the fanart/fanfiction that was made for the LiS series was mostly created by queer women, so when the franchise pretty much stopped giving them representation, they left in search of other media (like She-Ra, which honestly has better wlw rep anyway). LiS2 is also mostly male dominated in terms of its cast, and features no queer women as well, which is really disappointing in my opinion.

7. Price: This one is pretty simple. When Life is Strange 2 was first released the full season costed $40. This was a pretty big jump in comparison to LiS1’s $20 price tag (original price was $25 however) and BtS’s $16. Obviously people would be more skeptical about buying a sequel that is pretty much double the price of its predecessor and has completely new characters. With the pretty mixed reception from gaming communities I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of people saw the price and decided to either watch a playthrough or simply not check out the game at all. With the first episode now free the base price has been lowered to around $30-32 I believe so yeah.

8. Daniel Diaz: Some people just don’t like kids, and I wouldn’t be surprised if people grew easily frustrated with Daniel early on and once he got more irrational and bratty as the story progressed they just stopped playing altogether. Even if you do like kids, or at least don’t mind them like myself, Daniel can still be quite a pain.

9. Not having control of the powers: This one is honestly really disappointing and I know it was to a lot of other people as well. In LiS1 Max had the ability to rewind time and do certain scenarios and conversations over and that basically acted as the more interesting gameplay segments. In LiS2 Sean doesn’t have the power, his brother Daniel does. This leads to the gameplay feeling much more boring and mundane. There are also no interesting puzzles this time around, most likely because Dontnod didn’t know how to implement them without the rewind power so they just…didn’t even attempt to add any. The power itself, telekinesis, is also much less interesting compared to rewinding time, according to a lot of people.

SO YEAH that’s basically it for me. I know this probably came off a bit rambly/incoherent but I tried my best to be as clear as I possibly could. I don’t doubt there are other reasons at play as to why LiS2 failed to meet LiS1’s success (such as liscensed music not being quite as good as LiS1) but I think I hit the main points I believe were key reasons. And the thing is, there isn’t just one main reason why LiS2 didn’t do as well as LiS1. It’s overall very unfortunate so many things went wrong with it that ended up making people lose interest in it. I think the lack of Max and Chloe hurt the game the most right off the bat, but the other reasons just led it to do even worse. Oh well.

I hope any of the people who read this enjoyed it (it was a BITCH to write). I’ve been wanting to get my thoughts down about this for SO long but just never had the motivation/time but I finally did it!

Again, thanks for reading! If you have any disagreements or just thoughts in general don’t be afraid to reply or dm me about it and I’ll be sure to reply! Now back to reblogging Marco posts….

[chenoehi]

Thoughts on Ep. 15: Koga, Moroha, Zero, Riku, and Kirinmaru

First, now that good boy Koga is back in the game, a fun theory/headcanon I’ve had is that Moroha’s sword is actually Koga’s sword—you know the one he always carries around but never uses? They look the same as far as I can tell, and I noticed that immediately in addition to the other hints she was raised by the wolves (which I think most of us suspected, but it’s lovely to have it confirmed). That or the sword came from the wolf tribe at least, it resembles the kind of sword Ayame has, too. With the confirmation of Ep. 15 this theory is now becoming more likely.

Also, I just have to say that as devastating as it is that Kagome and Inuyasha did not get to raise their daughter and that they felt betrayed by Sesshomaru after coming to trust him (I absolutely believe he is helping them, not hurting them), it is comforting knowing that Koga had a hand in raising their daughter. He loved Kagome and treated well, having so much affection and respect for her by the end. He even showed some compassion for Inuyasha (in his own way). You can say he became their friend rather than simply being their ally. The fact that they trusted him to protect their child speaks volumes. And did you see how proud he looked when Hachi brought her to the tribe? Moroha is not his child but you know he will treat her like one. We don’t know the details yet of who raised her exactly or how she came to be separated from the wolves, but I have full confidence that Ayame and Koga treat Moroha like their own.

I know some people are sad that Miroku and Sango did not raise her, but knowing the threat against her and that their human friends already had a young family to take care of, it makes sense they would want to hide her away. And although it would have been perfect if Moroha could have lived in the barrier and been safe with her cousins (and possibly Rin), but again we’re not sure of the details yet.

Obviously, Inuyasha knew of the threat against Moroha’s life from Kagome who learned about it from Riku (a comment on that in a minute). I think the swiftness of everything and Moroha’s being sent away rather than being protected behind a barrier like the twins may be due to how immediate the threat became once Kirinmaru was awoken.

What’s unclear is 1. how long after Moroha’s birth is she whisked away? 2. why did they go somewhere specific to confront the maru bros and send their child away? 3. why would they delay sending her away in the first place (they had to with Kagome being there, and also Moroha’s hair is a little longer than the twins at birth so maybe this indicates it wasn’t immediate, or maybe not)? 4. if they delayed sending her because they just found out Kirinmaru had been awoken (by Zero) then who told them? Sesshomaru? 5. if so, did Sesshomaru tell them he had a plan or ask them to trust him while also explaining where to meet and that they needed to send Moroha away? 6. did Koga and co. know that Moroha was coming to them? They don’t seem very surprised, mostly just happy/pleased to see her, but also like they were expecting her. I don’t know how they would have gotten a message to them, but maybe they sent word to the wolves alerting them to the danger and the possibility that they may have to send Moroha away, Koga may have agreed to care for her, and when the time came to follow through they already knew to expect her.

Riku though...

Oh Riku. Seriously what the fuck. I thought I knew where this was going but..I’m trying to justify how Riku is introduced the same episode that we see Kirinmaru in the flesh. They are both shown eating grapes in their introductory scene. They both spit said grapes out and make some similar comments, showing that they have similar ideals and mannerisms (even if it is just grapes we’re talking about). They both are associated with water. They both are on boats a lot. Riku is referred to as a pirate washed up on shore or lost, trying to find his ship, etc. All the characters (human and demon) refer to him as lord or -sama. Kyuki (a peril) knew him. He has a personal grudge against the perils. The perils serve Kirinmaru. They both have green eyes (not a human eye color in feudal era Japan or even modern day Japan). They both have red hair (same comment). Riku is clearly shown to have some control over the pearls or ability to use them that might possibly exist in tandem with other abilities he possesses.

Riku also kind of just revealed himself to be something other than human in Ep. 15 when he commented that 18 years passing was nothing to him as we see visibly that he has the same appearance in present day as he had the year that the cousins were born. Could be that he means time itself means nothing to him because he can travel through time but that’s still unclear. Conclusion is that Riku is Kirinmaru’s hanyo child as he’s clearly not human but does not appear to be full demon either and has obvious visual connections to both Kirinmaru and Zero.

BUT. Kirinmaru doesn’t appear to have any love of humans like his doggy counterparts. He practically looks like he’s about to have a stroke when he hears that Sesshomaru married a human and sired hanyo heirs. It’s hard to imagine that person has a hanyo child floating around who everyone is aware of. However, he does seem to be contemplating something beyond what Zero is telling him and if he does have a hanyo child then he could be realizing that he potentially created a being that will kill him.

Another thing that is bothering me is how Riku warned Kagome. Obviously everything about that and Riku himself is shady af and we have no idea what’s going on yet, but what’s interesting to me is that Kirinmaru doesn’t realize that hanyous are a threat to him until Zero points it out—which is months after the comet when Moroha is born. Of course, this is all assuming that the moment Kirinmaru is awoken by Zero comes after Moroha has been born and not before. It is possible that Zero awoke Kirinmaru immediately after the twins were born and that Kirinmaru spent some time plotting but that’s kind of illogical. Why wait to kill a child until after it’s born if you can just kill the mother? Which then makes it even more sus that Zero waits to wake him up and tell him this. It’s also sus how Zero warns Sesshomaru of the threat on his daughters’ lives (the threat she’s making) only to send Jokka after them as a pawn before biding her time until after Moroha is born to then conveniently and casually point out to her brother that all half and quarter demons are a threat to him.

Zero’s movements make little sense until we have a better understanding of what’s motivating her and why the timing of everything was so important. I’m not leaving the possibility of her betraying Kirinmaru off the table honestly. Something’s not right. I have this feeling that Kirinmaru is just being used. I know he’s still supposed to be the villain and he does try to kill the girls (eventually) but something is very wrong. And Zero’s comment that she expected Sesshomaru to protect his children with a barrier...if she expected that to happen then why didn’t she attack when it would have been unexpected? Why didn’t she try anything when Rin was still pregnant? Wouldn’t that be devastating to lose your wife and two unborn children? Why the cloak and dagger? It seems that she’s purposefully trying to pit Kirinmaru against Sesshomaru, but she’s also not hiding her hatred of Sesshomaru and his whole family either.

This episode kind of further reinforces the Riku is a time traveler theory because Riku knows Kagome is pregnant when she’s not even showing and he warns her about Kirinmaru although at this time Kirinmaru doesn’t even know hanyous are a threat. In fact, he seems confident that the InuTaisho’s sons took care of the comet. He shows no inclination of wanting Inuyasha dead.

But one thing that’s bothering me is just how shook Kirinmaru is that Sesshomaru has a human wife and hanyo babies. He’s shook shook. Like, blindsided. Everyone but Myoga so far has taken the news with little reaction (to be fair, we’re not sure how the OG gang felt but Kohaku wasn’t in utter disbelief as far as I remember). Maybe that’s just because he knew Sesshomaru for a long time and he really can’t believe it, but I have this feeling we saw his reaction being a bit overblown (and honestly, kind of undignified) for a reason. Something clearly went down between Zero, Toga, Sesshomaru’s mother, and possibly involving Sesshomaru as well. Kirinmaru seemed to have made peace with Toga and he doesn’t appear to be on adversarial terms with his son, but something is wrong. Everything feels very personal, like somehow Sesshomaru marrying a human and siring children with her is an insult to Kirinmaru personally. If he already knew about the hanyo threat by that point it would make sense but no dice, so then why.

Also, if Osamu Kirin is in fact Kirinmaru in human disguise, wouldn’t he save himself a lot of trouble by just killing Towa in the Reiwa period when he had the chance? It’s not like she was hiding her presence, she didn’t even know she was a hanyo. So if that theory is true, did he choose to leave her alone for a reason or has he suffered memory loss? We already know Kirinmaru in the fuedal era was a little off so it’s not a stretch.

[boogiewrites]

Never Break the Chain Pt. 2

Part 2 of 5

Characters: Javier Peña x OFC

Summary:  Javier and Esme's first time seeing each other in almost twenty years. A photograph leads to an obsessive hunt for the woman he thought was dead. They both find they got where they wanted. But is it what they want now?

Warnings/Tags: Tension. Big reunited kiss. 

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Time passes, as it always has and always will. It stopped for no man, not even Javier. Seeing his first love fade into nothing had left him a different man. Walls came up, barriers were built that his enemies would even be impressed by. She’d done him a favor, snapping him out of the young man’s dream, but he felt he had nothing left but trying to help once she was gone. So he threw himself into his work.

Sure there were other women. He thought he loved some, but would always leave them. He always hurt them and that wasn’t his intention precisely but they would thank him years later. He was what they would refer to in close company as “a dodged bullet”. He’d been called far worse.

He despised his cliche reactions to his trauma sometimes. Drinking, smoking, being a general pain in the ass, renowned and proud asshole was easier. Burying yourself in prostitutes and let them take away the thoughts for a little while was the easiest. He would fantasize he could help them, even save some of them. He surely wasn’t getting his hero complex stroked when it came to his work. He had a soft spot for women, he had learned the hard way the shit deal they’d landed when they were born. He couldn’t do much...but he could try to help. So he did. Loss after loss he kept trying. This was that bit of good Esme had always believed in. He wasn’t sure how much longer he would have it so he made the best of it while he could.

The night before was nothing knew, an old habit at this point for him. He went out and got a woman, he’d pour every bit of good in him into her, convincing himself he still had it. He’d make them feel good, listen to them, things that were in short supply in their lives from men. He could be that good guy exception, if only for a short while. It felt nice to not be looked at with disgust or fear. The slivers of affection kept him going after dark. He’d leave them breathless, moans turning to laughs as they dressed, joking they might not make him pay. But they always took the money. And he offered it with no judgment, pulling his jeans on and halfway through a highball glass as his lean outstretched arm offer up their compensation for making him feel something good and push out the bad thoughts for a short while. He could be making worse decisions.

He rubs his temple, suppressing a groan as he slid his way into the uncomfortable chair at the beaten-up metal table. The chatter of his coworkers all making their way into the room was grating but nothing he couldn’t ignore. Morning debriefing, something he gave a shit about. Well, work was the one thing he gave a shit about right now, hyper-focused on the clock and trying to drown out the obsession off the clock. It was a dynamic that he was still trying to perfect. He downs the hot black coffee in his hand and nods at the secretary just outside the doorway, “Get me another, sugar. No sugar.” he winks and sends her off. She side-eyed him and went on her way, that was just Pena to her, horny but harmless. He cracks his back, a grunt before landing his elbows on the table to focus, the overblown commander coming in with a handful of photos, spreading them on the table as they talked about what they always did, the cartel.

Pena tries to approach everything individually, but there was only so much range these guys had, and not seeing them all as one giant collection of piss ants with assault rifles was something getting harder and harder to do. So as new and old names were said, he watched the board fill out, the line attaching known connections and new ones. There had been a new wave of intel, something Pena and his partner Murphy were used to being the ones doing, but he wouldn’t complain if someone else finally wanted to sack up and their fucking job like they were supposed to.

“So we have our old friends,” a slap of photos to the board. “Then there’s a new round of boys coming in.” he taps the newest addition to the board. “Seems we’re getting inbred with the other families, the jewel smugglers, the miners...seems we’re trying to venture out and expand our already impressive portfolio.” he snorts.

“They can never just be fucking satisfied with their millions.” someone groans and complains.

“It’s a good chance try to take them down too.” Murphy shrugs.

“Eyes on the prize, kiss ass,” Pena says quietly, accepting his coffee without a second glance. “Do we know these women?” he asks with a nod in the direction.

“Typical.” Murphy rolls his eyes.

“No. Our assumption is prostitutes. Nothing new there.” the commander goes on, but he quickly becomes background noise as Pena stands and moves toward the board. He stood, hips jutted forward, eyes scanning, hand over his mouth in thought. Once he saw the new pictures he hadn’t heard another word the men had said. “PENA!” barked his way grabs his attention as he casually shifts his attention.

“Mmmph. Yeah.” he mutters, eyes moving back to the board.

“I was informing you, you’d be doing street intel on these newcomers.”

“Yeah,” he says disinterested, thumbing his lip before placing his hands on his hips. “Do we have these photos in color?”

The question catches the room off guard. “Why?” he’s met with annoyed opposition.

“This woman…” he taps the photo of a woman with a sly smile on the arm of a very powerful man. Dark waves teased and a heart-shaped face buried in a fur coat collar worth more than he made in a year. He clears his throat. “I’ve seen her before…”

“They’re whores Javi, of course, you have.” Murphy leads the room in a wave of amused hums and chuckles.

“No I’m serious,” he says with no inflection, catching his partner’s attention. “Do we have a location on them if there’s no color?”

“Why’s color important?”

He’s quiet for a moment, jaw tense and eyes blinking, baffled at what he was allowing himself to think. “Her eyes… were green.” MUrphy readjusts himself in his seat, watching Pena’s eyes carefully. He could swear they looked sad.

“What information we’ve got is here.” the commander points at the table with its thick manilla envelopes.

Javier nods with no spoken response, staying in place until the room is empty except for a hesitant Murphy who approaches him. “Who is she?” he asks quietly.

He shakes his head in response. “It can’t be her,” there’s a heavy pause, “But it...fuck it looks like her…” his voice trails off and Murphy is left with more questions.

“Well, are you gonna answer me or just write poetry about her Javi?”

“She’s…” he sighs and sucks his teeth. “She’s supposed to be dead.”

“Did you-?”

“No… no… nothing like that.” his voice still quiet. “I knew her… fuck...over a decade ago now.”

“So we can add hunting ghosts to our agenda now too. Great.” Murphy takes it lightly and presses his lips together. He stares at Javi, his eyes dark and focused. He was left with more questions than answers. His money was still on it being a hooker. It’s not as if Pena had even talked about Esme since the investigation when he was young. His partner may have his back in life or death situations, and they may have been close, but no one knew about her. Pena had hoped to keep it that way. He hoped he was wrong. He hoped it wasn’t her. Because if it was… well he didn’t know what he’d do.

---------------------------------------------------

Esme didn’t know it but with every minute that passed, she was being proven right about her belief in her first love, that if he knew she was alive, that he would find her.

Esme had ran, a bug out bag down the river and no trace left behind. She made her way south over the years, learning her craft and making friends in the right places. She’d started with rich men, especially rich white men trying to make a living off exploiting her fellow man in Mexico. It had been almost too easy. They thought nothing of her and wore her as if she were a watch; on their arm and shiny and proof of their wealth. She would gain access, gather intel and then sweep in and take the goods and ghost out.

Esme had been legally declared dead and was now living as Estelle. She had so many names over the years but her current incarnation was Estelle. And she was a star. She’d become what she wanted, she was rich and self-reliant. She needed no one and had her fun as she craved it. There were men and women and drugs and jewels and for so long it had been a pleasant hazy dream. But the novelty of it wore off, she grew bored,  a witness to her hypocrisy, growing soft and lazy with her indulgence. When she emerged from her haze and saw the state of the world around her she knew things had changed. Narcos now ruled the world. The government bowed to them, the poor worshipped them. She saw they were the future, the new leaders. And for her, that meant that’s where she had to be.

She found herself once again sharp and full of adrenaline. Her new role took real savvy and cunning. Otherwise, she’d end up dead for real. She cozied up, working for Narcos to steal for them. It wasn’t hard in skill, but it was in the amount of sexist shit she had to deal with. She’d killed men for laying hands on her, and worse. She’d pulled knives and guns and made frown men piss themselves as she threatened them with words they’d never heard women utter up to that point. Most of the leaders would laugh until they cried after the fact, seeing a woman act in such away. She entertained them. They underestimated her, saw her as some novelty pet that fetched things and entertained them. She could handle that. As long as she got paid.

Following the groups, making her way around it made sense she found herself in Columbia. She knew it was dangerous, but she was addicted to it. It filled the void of sex and drugs for her for the most part, although she did partake among her peers from time to time. She thought it made her admirable, independent, and a shining example of what a woman could be if she had the nerve to do it. She was, to a degree, but she was also wrong. She lacked the softness in her life anyone, not just a woman needed. A void where no love or trust or intimacy was in her life she filled with material things and lists of her accomplishments. if she kept busy and looking ahead she wouldn’t be still king enough to face her demons.

Except she was about to come face to face with her biggest one.

—

As was his way, Javier had become a bit obsessed. He had to know if this woman was Esme. He’d been tracking her and was able to have DEA level observation to do it. It was a personal mission he’d been able to spin to look like a cartel one. There was a connection, she was seen with them, but little was known outside of that. After he’d put the word out for the beautiful woman with green eyes it hadn't taken long before someone scorned by her leaked information on her next job. The informant knew what his boss wanted to be stolen and when she’d be there. Normally no agent or cop would care to pay attention to her, or some jewels being stolen,  she was just some woman to them. But serendipitous timing made sure she became THE woman for one of them.

She practically waltzed into the store. She scaled a fence, a wall and came through a window but for her, that was practically begging her to steal from them. The rooms were dark, silent except for the sounds of her feet as she made her way into the back, unseen and unbothered. It wasn’t until she’d stopped to admire her score before snatching it they the clicking of a gun behind her caught her attention.

He’d waited in the shadows, and none too patiently. With the aim set to intimidate, not kill, he Easter no more time. “Who are you?” It came out as an order.

Her head snapped up, back still to the faceless voice she felt was all too familiar. She blinks, the former goal now removed and replaced with a flood of emotion. She remains silent, her turn to be shocked like he was when he saw her face in the photos.

“Turn around.” Another order. The voice was deeper, darker now but still made her feel the same way.

She turns, and painfully slow. She doesn’t meet his intense gaze immediately, reading his body language first and calming her racing mind. There’s no way it was him.

There’s no way it’s her, his mind reassures him. But as soon as her eyes raise to meet his his stomach drops. He was right.

“Javi?” It was almost a whisper, for the first time in she couldn’t remember when she didn’t hide her emotions in her face.

The gun falls first, his sense falling to the wayside as it slipped into its place in the back waist of his jeans. His frame was broader, still lean moves towards her with an earned confidence now. He doesn’t speak, staring at her as if she might not be real. She gives him his time. He’d earned it. “It really is you.” It was his turn to let the veil fall, dark eyes shining in the low, cool light.

She nods. “Javi I can explain.” She begins, prepared to apologize and ask forgiveness before asking him why the hell he was there at all. They were a long way from home.

“You’re alive.” A rather obvious statement that made her smile. It was all he could handle.

“I can explai-“ a quick burst of words before they’re cut off by his mouth landing against hers. She hadn’t expected this. She was prepared for many things last but not this, at least not for him to be kissing her. “Javi my-“ she tries to get out but his hands are already on her cheeks, hot and damp and certain. She lets her concern fade for a moment, it would all be fine. She gives in to it, lets him take the lead, and pull her against him roughly. The anger and hurt coming through in his grip on her back and face as they kissed breathlessly. He stole her focus without trying, there was the signature huff from his nose, the nuzzle into her between separating to catch his breath but he felt different. But so did she.

Where they once held differences in certainty they now held the opposite. He kissed her like he just found out his first love was alive after decades of vices to cover the loss. Because he had. Every woman and experience he’d had between her and now, every skill and thus gained confidence was clear and apparent. This was not a boy handling a girl. He was a man handling his woman.

And there she was, blindsided and touch starved, passion and intimacy starved being devoured by the only man she’d ever truly loved. The only man she’d ever let in and see her for what she was. The only man that knew Esmeralda. It was a raw and painful ache that emanated from her chest as she clutched her hand around his wrist and the other gripped his shirt in her hand. She gave in because she knew it wouldn’t last long, and after it was over she’d miss it.

With eyes squeezed shut, his forehead pressed to hers, his statuesque nose gently rubbing against hers he exhales hot against her face. “Esme…” he pulls back and holds her face, demanding her focus.

“It’s been so very long since someone’s called me that.” she sighs and puts her hands on his forearms.

“Since I called you that?”

She nods and smiles, face pressed into his hand.

“Maybe it’s about time people called you that again.” he pauses and looks her over with a hard brow, he couldn't hide his simmering anger underneath the confusion, relief, and affection. “Where the fuck have you been?” She sighs in response. “Why the hell are you HERE?”

“Same as you. Work.”

“Why are you with those men? Don’t you know who they are? What they do?”

“Why do you ask questions you already know the answer to?”

“Why Esme?” his eyes water and his hands squeeze her face a bit too tightly before a wave of dizziness hit him.

“Same reason now as then,” she whispers, his grip loosening and not hearing her response, she slicks his dark hair back as his eyes start to roll around in their sockets. “You're fine, Javi. Seems you fell for my defense mechanism.” she smiles and he looks at her, starting to slump. “To be fair I didn’t know to expect you. You’ll wake up soon enough. It’s only temporary.” she wipes the culprit of the sudden wave of forced unconsciousness he was going through, her lipstick off his mouth. He was out quickly, and she spent some long moments exploring the now aged face of her once wide-eyed companion. “You are even more handsome than I thought you’d be.” she coos and kisses him after dragging him into a chair and pushing it into a corner so he wouldn’t fall. “It now inevitable we’ll meet again. My old hound dog.” She chuckles, a kiss to take in the scent of his hair before she parted ways. “See you later, mi amor.”

-----------

Peña awoke to a boot knocking against his knee and an odd headache. It was pitch black outside by now, people on the streets outside none the wiser to the life-altering experience he’d just had.

“Are we blacking out in stores now?” Murphy snarks and shakes his head, leaning against a door frame.

“That’s not...I’m not…” Javier shakes his head, rubbing and tapping at the pulse in his skull.

“Then what the hell is it?” He can hear the judgment in his partner's voice.

“If I told you you would think I was crazy.” he groans and sits up with his back straight in the chair, one cocked brow looking over to the man staring him down.

“And I don’t now?”

Peña huffs out a laugh. That was a fair assessment. He’d think the same thing. He looked across the room, the glass case he’d found her standing in front of now empty. “She took the jewels.” he switches the subject, an arm raised lazily and collapsing against his lap after.

“Were they made of cocaine? Why do we give a shit?”

“It’s not the jewels that are important. It’s the woman that did it.”

“A woman? Huh. That’s something you don’t see every day. That is… a little bit crazy I guess.”

“That’s not what’s crazy.”

“Am I gonna have to fuckin’ waterboard you man, just tell me.” he groans.

“That woman I told you about... that stole those... she's been declared legally dead for almost twenty years.” he finally says with a defensive tone and a face that said don’t fucking try me to the man still assessing his sanity with no attempt at hiding his negative prognosis.

“Oh.” Murphy contemplates looking away to the empty case. “That... yeah okay that is crazy.”

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