#this post brought to you by some absolutely vicious little guys i saw on my walk just now

[petrichoravellichor]

I need a universe in which everything in Supernatural is exactly the same, except that instead of big, hulking hellhounds, we get swarms of tiny, bloodthirsty, red-eyed black hell-chihuahuas

[princessfbi]

Ok I have got to know what happened with Oliver's character on that one show that makes you rage so hard every time you see him.

WELL NONNIE I'LL TELL YOU!

This is a warning for spoilers if anyone wants to watch this show because my rage cannot be contained.

OK SO...

This show is called Into the Badlands and Oliver's character is named Ryder. Basically the premise of this world is that it's kind of post apocalyptic/alternative universe where humanity got so caught up in trying to one up each other that it sort of imploded and now you have this society where either you're super wealthy (the Barrons), super poor (Cogs and Nomads), or somehow a ninja (The Clippers and whatever the hell MK was supposed to be). ANYWAYS....

Ryder is the son of Barron Quinn. Now the surviving land is either divided into like factions run by Barrons (who control a majority of major trade) or there's these lawless lands that are run dredges of society. You either become a Barron by killing another Barron (which is what Quinn did) or you are an heir apparent. Ryder is more an heir presumptive because Quinn won't outright name him his heir even though everyone just assumes it.

This is because Quinn is batshit crazy and thinks he can just live forever through sheer stubbornness and will alone. This is especially hard to do because he has a massive brain tumor that's dwindling down what little bit of sanity he has leading him to make questionable choices such as killing the only doctor they have in the lands who would've been useful pretty much for the rest of the series but go off Quinn. Ryder has a lot of resentment towards his father, which I will get into in a minute, and at the same time has gone out of his way to prove to Quinn that he's a worthy heir. Except Quinn keeps comparing Ryder to his second and regent, Sunny, and he's just all around a shitty person in general.

NOW HERE'S THE AMAZING BACKSTORY WITH RYDER:

So, when Ryder was a child, he was kidnapped by these nomads who were trying to blackmail Quinn. Ryder's mother begged Quinn to pay the ransom and save Ryder. Quinn... refused. So the nomads tortured Ryder and (Gross warning) like cut off part of his toes and disfigured his foot in the hopes of crippling him and scaring Quinn into giving to their demands.

Quinn, again, refused.

Eventually Quinn's regent at the time, Waldo, defies Quinn's orders and goes to rescue Ryder from these nomads. Waldo defying Quinn is a big deal because he's a clipper which is basically a soldier (often brought in from the slave faction called Cogs) and they take their oaths to their Barrons very seriously. Barrons trust no one but their regents because again you can become a Barron by killing them. But Waldo always had a soft spot for Ryder.

SO Ryder is saved and eventually nursed back to health but he always has a bit of a tragedy cloud hanging around him because from what we were told Ryder was a very sweet, bright child before he was kidnapped and was brought back as "a broken bird" and he's been doing everything he can to get rid of the broken bird image ever since.

Quinn resented Ryder for making him look weak and Ryder resented Quinn for... Well being a heartless dick.

But here's the crazy part... They both, in their own way, still kind of loved each other.

Now I won't bore you with my rant about how the best antagonists are often the tragic figures who have fallen from grace (Peter Hale, Draco Malfoy, Loki to name a few) BUT I will say Ryder had the PERFECT foundation of showing that fall. He was an asshole and hard and spoiled and super privilege but also soft and still a little broken. There's a whole other narrative involved too with his childhood love and how his dad planned on marrying her but we won't get into that.

ANYWAYS Ryder still had this desperate need to prove to his dad that he was a worthy heir but in his attempts to prove himself (and his dad's fall into madness) his dad started seeing him as competition. Competition and another objects (like Quinn saw with most other characters but especially Sunny). But Quinn has this weird kind of pride when it comes to things that he considers his and an attack on his property is an attack on him. There's a character named the Widow who lured Ryder out and tried to kill him slowly and personally as well as Sunny as an attack on Quinn and he went bananas (sorta).

Ryder was fine eventually but he realized that trying to prove himself to his dad was never going to work so he decides to try the other option: which is killing his dad. Partially because if he doesn't, Ryder is smart enough to know that Quinn's going to get him killed, but also because Quinn's descent into madness is spiraling faster and faster and Ryder wants to protect the legacy. Nothing to inherit if his dad burns the whole thing to the ground!

Long story short, Sunny turns on Quinn and stabs him and everyone thinks Quinn is dead and Ryder takes credit for it therefore succeeding his dad by becoming not only Barron of his father's lands but some other Barron that got murdered by another subplot that was pointless.

Now Ryder is determined to bring peace to the lands (not out of some noble obligation but because he just wants people to chill the fuck out). And for the most part... he's doing okay.

BUT THEN PLOT TWIST HIS DAD IS ALIVE AND CRAZIER THAN EVER.

Basically his dad storms Ryder's house, chases him down in the garden, and they fight. But Ryder's foot that was crippled when he was a child trips him up and the fight gets even messier. Ryder's sword breaks and Quinn points the sword to his own chest and tells Ryder to finish him.

Ryder hesitates and so Quinn takes the sword and stabs Ryder. You know like a rational father would do.

Quinn then asks Ryder why he hesitated and Ryder whispers "because you're my father" before he dies in Quinn's arms. Quinn is... horrified because he realizes that with the death of Ryder is the death of the last parts of his own humanity. He mourns Ryder but also like... takes no responsibility for killing him but neither did Ryder so he can't process it. Later on he's haunted by Ryder but again the man has a giant grapefruit sized tumor in his brain so it's all very reverse Hamlet if you will.

SO LOOK AT ALL THIS POTENTIAL!

THE REASON I RAGE:

Is because Ryder was set up to fail from the beginning. Which is great!....... If that had actually happened. The show worked so hard to tell us that Ryder was a failure and a coward but if you look at it from a story perspective... Ryder was the opposite of a failure. Every time someone told him he couldn't do something, he proved them wrong. Again and again and again. But that was never good enough for anyone. So that vicious cycle would've been amazing to see!

But instead of exploring any of that, we had to watch a storyline that was frankly ridiculous from the beginning that took up way more time than it should. There's a character named MK, who was supposed to be inspired by the myth The Monkey King, but if you don't know that story then you never would've figured that out. Hell, I knew the story and didn't figure it out until I had to google his name because I kept forgetting it. In comparison to everything else happening in the show, this magical mythical storyline just didn't fit and I'm not kidding when I say I watched a season and a half of this show and forgot about MK every time.

Now if you noticed my icon is Buck in a Box. That's an inside joke I have with a friend about this fucking show. The first scene starts off with Sunny stumbling onto a group of Nomads who go absolutely feral about this massive box they don't want him to look inside. Turns out MK was in this box for reasons that were too weak for me to even remember but again MK was entirely forgettable. My friend and I kept talking about how it would've been better if Ryder had been in the box because the Ryder and Sunny rivalry had so much unexplored potential that would've been incredible if we started from the very beginning instead of just being told over and over again that Ryder hates being compared to Sunny.

Sunny is the main character and Quinn, unlike with Ryder, was incredibly proud to have Sunny "in his possession" and Ryder hated him for it.

But did we get to explore that? NO! Did we get to explore the parallels of Sunny and Ryder chafing at being considered possessions by Quinn? NO! Did we get to explore the trauma Ryder was working so hard to shake off? NO!

Instead the show spent so much energy victim blaming Ryder essentially for being the son of a Villain and his Nonsensical Ambitious Mother who had the misfortune of being kidnapped by bandits as a child while telling the audience that Ryder was never going to succeed. That Ryder had no honor and was a coward and weak.

They spent way more time trying to tell us that we should hate Ryder and that he was a bad guy but didn't do ANY of the work to show the fall from grace to prove that. Ryder remained a tragic figure that didn't fall from grace but was rather pushed off by lazy writing because they wanted to focus again on this magical ninja boy with a penchant for getting in the way and ruining everything.

I rage because Antagonist and Villain are not the same thing. Ryder had the potential of becoming a villain and his death by the hands of his father would've cycled him back into the role of a tragic figure. But instead... it was just wasted.

THAT is why I rage. You had the material right there and yet you spent so long telling us that we, the audience, don't like Ryder instead of showing us anything that would make us not like him (besides the whiny white boy thing).

Instead I found myself rooting for Ryder. Like could you imagine if Ryder and Sunny went against Quinn together instead of having the weakest rivalry known to man? Could you imagine Ryder's fall from grace of wanting peace in the lands as it turned to greed? Could you imagine Sunny becoming actual competition for Ryder instead of being manipulated to do so?

WE GOT NONE OF IT.

THIS is why I rage.

[aalissy]

Winter Storms and Hot Chocolate

Whew, I'm finally getting another one-shot posted hehe. And it's about Adrienette too!! I love these two dorks soo muchhh <3. I hope you guys like them too :). Lemme know what you think! A sleepy, cuddly Marinette is my fave hehe

AO3

Marinette stood at the door of the bakery, glaring at the snow that was quickly transforming into a fierce blizzard. Turning her phone on, she checked the weather, groaning to herself when she saw that a freak snowstorm was set to happen today.

Marinette bid her parents goodbye with a quick glance over her shoulder before ducking out of the shop. She shivered as soon as she got one foot out the door, the vicious cold already making her wish she was back at home in the warm, comfortable bakery. With a small whimper, she continued down her path, determined to make it to her favorite fabric store. 

The terrible weather had affected her much more since becoming Ladybug and even waking up this morning took her years. Marinette had barely registered the sound of the blaring alarm and needed Tikki to shout at her in order to wake up. Practically stumbling out of her bed, she bundled up into thick fleece, itchy wool, and layers of cotton. Even still, it did little to help the drowsiness coursing through her bones.

Just one second. Let me close my eyes for just a second. I’m only going straight for the next few metres. It’s okay, Marinette thought to herself as the time between her blinks grew longer and longer. She barely realized it when she was walking down the street with her eyes closed. Suddenly, her eyes flew back open when she crashed directly into someone’s chest, the both of them letting out a startled groan. The only reason the two of them were standing upright and hadn’t fallen into a heap on the ground was because of the warm—and welcomingly familiar—grip the person had on her shoulders.

“Marinette?” asked a smooth and recognizable voice. “Are you alright?”

She looked up in surprise, seeing blonde hair and brilliant, green eyes. Her brain worked furiously for a moment, her forehead scrunching as she tried to focus on the boy in front of her. “A-Adrien?” Marinette asked after a few moments of thinking.

“Yeah,” his head tilted curiously. “You look exhausted. Are you trying to get home?”

“No,” she shook her head. “I just left actually. I’m trying to get to the fabric store to get some new stuff for your guys’ Christmas presents.”

Adrien’s brow furrowed as he looked down at her. Eventually, he sighed lightly, throwing an arm around her shoulder as he began leading the two of them somewhere. “Come on, let’s go and get you warmed up first,” he said with a worried smile. “You shouldn’t be stumbling around in the cold like this.”

“Mmm, has anyone ever told you how warm you are?” Marinette murmured blearily, snuggling further into his grasp. The delicious aroma of cinnamon and lavender wafted around her and she squeezed him tighter. 

Buried in his chest as she was, she missed the soft look Adrien gave her. She did hear his deep chuckle, though. “Oh yeah?” he asked. “But no, I don’t think anyone’s ever told me that before.”

“They should. You make a really nice pillow,” she smiled happily, barely aware that she was speaking. Adrien gave another hearty laugh but didn’t respond. 

The two walked in silence for a few more moments, Marinette’s eyes closing fully as she let her crush guide her along, relaxing into his hold. It wasn’t until she heard the sound of a tinkling bell that her eyes were able to open again. She was surprised and greeted by the warm atmosphere of a café. A small smile spread across her face as she took in the welcoming aroma of delicious coffee and hot chocolate. She felt Adrien gesture her forward. 

“After you,” he smiled.

Walking into the cozy building, the designer finally felt a little bit more awake. Stopping suddenly inside the entrance, she snuck a peek back behind her. The model was still standing there, smiling gently at her. Her gaze snapped back forward again, her cheeks flushing a bright red. 

Oh my god, so this isn’t a dream, then? I actually bumped into Adrien and told him he made a good pillow?! No, no, this can’t be happening!! 

Pulling on her pigtails once, Marinette quickly took a seat by the window, gnawing on her lip as she stared out into the snowy world that taunted her. Gulping quietly, she peeked up at Adrien from beneath her lashes as he slid into the seat across from her. He peered back at her, a look of concern on his face. “Are you alright, Marinette?” he asked. "You looked really tired today. Are you sick?”

“Y-yeah, I’m fine. Just sleepy. Winter is really not my season.” She gave him what she hoped was a wide, reassuring smile.

“Is that why you keep falling asleep in class then?” he teased her, his green eyes shimmering playfully.

Marinette’s cheeks darkened and she ducked her head shyly. “Maybe,” she giggled nervously before tapping her index fingers together.

“Hey, it’s alright,” Adrien grinned softly back at her. “I actually know someone else who doesn’t do too well in the cold.”

“Y-you do?” she tilted her head as she looked at him curiously.

“Yeah,” his gaze drifted away from her and out the window as he nodded his head slowly. “One of my best friends absolutely hates the snow.”

“Nino hates the snow, really?” Marinette blinked at him a few times. “I had no idea.”

Adrien chuckled at her, shaking his head, “No, no, not Nino. Nino actually loves the snow. He says it helps his creative process.”

“Yuck, really?” she asked, scrunching her nose at the thought. “I barely get anything done during wintertime. I’m too sluggish.”

“My friend says the same thing!” he exclaimed, eyes brightening as he looked back at her. “She moves so slowly and says that you’re meant to stay at home, buried deep under the covers whenever it starts snowing.”

“Your friend is smart,” Marinette giggled. “I’ve said that exact same thing before.”

Her thoughts drifted back to her partner. Chat Noir was there during the cold, windy nights where she had to brave the winter weather for patrol. He was always equipped with two cups of hot chocolate and a blanket that they shared to warm up before heading off to watch the city. 

With a quiet, happy sigh, Marinette was suddenly hit by a large craving for the hot chocolate Chat always brought for her. So, when their waiter finally arrived, she chirped out her order cheerfully, “One hot chocolate please.”

She was somewhat surprised, however, when Adrien ordered the same thing as her. “I’ll take a hot chocolate too,” he said. “Ooh, and with extra marshmallows, please!”

Marinette’s lips twitched into a small smile. That was similar to her partner too. He always had a large pile of the delicious dessert in his drink. Raising a curious eyebrow at him, she spoke up, “You like marshmallows then?”

“Oh definitely,” Adrien grinned back at her. “They’re delicious! And hot chocolate with marshmallows is the best drink during winter!”

She giggled quietly at him, “Hot chocolate is my favorite too! It completely warms you up when it’s cold! Especially when it’s snowing like today!”

Adrien opened his mouth to speak but was stopped as their drinks reached the table. Marinette smiled thankfully at their waiter before sipping on the delicious beverage. Any last remaining chill that she had been feeling immediately evaporated upon a sip of the hot chocolate. She hummed, taking another large gulp before grinning up at the boy across from her, “Are your marshmallows good?”

“They’re perfect!” he grinned back at her.

There the two sat in the small, warm café, chatting about the latest schoolwork and updates to their favorite game. They both sipped gradually on their drinks, almost as if neither of them wanted to leave. Marinette even congratulated herself over how well she was handling the conversation with her long-time crush. Eventually, though, her gaze was drawn over to her phone where she gasped at the time. She needed to get back soon! She still had homework due later today!

“I’m so sorry, Adrien,” she said as she scrambled for her purse in a panic. “I lost track of time! I need to get home and I still don’t have any of the material I need! I’ve gotta go!”

“It’s okay, I’ll walk you,” he waved their waiter back over who he handed a few Euros over to.

“Oh no, no! It’s okay! I can pay for my half at least,” Marinette frowned over at him.

Adrien merely gave her a reassuring smile, shaking his head, “No, it’s fine. I dragged you in here so the least I can do is pay for your hot chocolate. Consider it an early Christmas gift,” he winked at her.

Turning a bright shade of pink, Marinette gulped quietly, trying to ignore the implications that this was a date. “O-ok,” she stuttered slightly as she stood up. “B-but you don’t have to walk me over. I’ll be fine by myself, really.”

“It’s no problem, Marinette! I don’t have anywhere else to be and I don’t want you passing out in the middle of a street,” he teased her.

Her blush darkened as she mumbled, “Okay.”

After that was decided, they walked to the front entrance, with Marinette taking a big gulp of air before heading out into the cold winter storm. Almost instantly, the warmth that she had gained from the café left her. Yawning quietly, she nuzzled into Adrien’s side, enjoying the heat it granted her. He leaned down to talk to her, causing his warm breath to brush against her ear, “Where are we going, Marinette?”

“Huh?” she blinked up at him slowly before her eyes widened in realization and she looked around. “O-oh, we should take a left here, and then it should be straight ahead.”

“Got it,” he murmured back at her before taking her hand in his. Her blue eyes shot open at that, looking up at him confusedly with a deep, red blush. Adrien merely shrugged at her, winking again. “I don’t want you to get lost.”

“R-right,” Marinette gulped, turning away from his glimmering eyes to look at their surroundings. Shivering as another cold snowflake hit her face, she clutched Adrien’s hand like a lifeline, breathing out a quiet sigh of relief when they finally spotted the fabric store. When they entered the building, she let go of his hand to instead point a finger at him. Ignoring the feeling of loss she felt as her hand left his warm grasp, she spoke sharply, “No peeking! I don’t want you guessing what your gift is!”

“I understand, Marinette,” Adrien chuckled, grinning down at her.

Shooting him one last suspicious glance, she turned to look at the rows of fabric in the store. Quickly, she pulled out three different colors for her friends, deciding on orange for Alya, dark green for Nino, and a bright red for Adrien. Marinette headed up to the front counter to pay for the three fabrics with a quiet, frustrated breath. 

With them safely tucked into a bag and away from enquiring eyes, she looked around for Adrien. She eventually found him looking at a row of fabric, awe clear in his eyes. Clearing her throat, she stepped toward him. “Are you ready to go Adrien?”

“Yeah,” he snapped out of his daze and brought his gaze over to her before shaking his head with wonder. “I just don’t know how you do it, Marinette. How you turn this into beautiful clothes. You’re amazing.”

“O-oh thank you,” Marinette blushed for what felt like the hundredth time that day. “I-it’s just years of practice, I guess. I was pretty bad when I started out.”

“I find that hard to believe,” Adrien said as he came over to take her hand once again. Together they walked to the front of the store. “Are we heading to the bakery now, or did you have another errand to run?”

She shook her head quickly. “N-no, I’m going home now. B-but, Adrien, you don’t have to walk me there. You’ve done a lot for me already. Seriously, thank you! I don’t want to take up the rest of your night.” “I already told you that it’s fine, Marinette. I want to make sure you get home safely. Besides, I could really go for a croissant right now,” he beamed down at her before pushing the door open. Groaning as the wind blew against her face, Marinette instantly turned to Adrien for some form of warmth. Her crush chuckled softly before murmuring, “I don’t have anywhere else to be.”

Her heart practically flip-flopped at that, butterflies erupting in her stomach. She glanced up at him to give him a soft smile, mouthing thank you at him. Why does he have to be so cute? It’s just not fair, she practically whined in her thoughts. 

With her nestled into his side as she was, Marinette barely noticed when they finally arrived back at the bakery. She only realized she was home after Adrien leaned down to whisper to her, “We’re here.”

“We are?” She peeled an eye open that she didn’t even remember closing. Slowly, they both blinked open as she realized that they were, in fact, at the entrance to the bakery. “Oh, we are!” she exclaimed.

Adrien chuckled at her before wrapping his arms around her in a tight hug. “Thanks for hanging out with me today Marinette. I had a great time.”

“N-no!” she stammered as she hugged him back. “Thank you for hanging out with me! I don’t think I would have made it home without you. Seriously, Adrien thank you .” Marinette leaned up on her tip-toes to brush a kiss against his cheek. Her cheeks flamed as she set back down on the ground, giving him a wide smile.

“It was no problem, really.” He rubbed the back of his neck shyly.

“W-well at least come inside so you can warm up and I can make you that croissant you wanted.” Her smile widened into a beam as she held the door open for him.

Adrien stepped inside the bakery as she followed after him, happy butterflies dancing in her chest. I’m so glad this wasn’t a dream and I did actually stumble into Adrien! Best day ever! Maybe ... maybe I can confess to him today ...

Chewing on the edge of her lip nervously, she walked towards the boy conversing happily with her parents. He turned around to greet her when she approached with a large, beaming smile. “Hey, Marinette! Your parents made us some croissants! Do you want to head upstairs and eat them with me?”

As his head tilted at her adorably, she felt her heart thump rapidly in her chest. Sucking in a deep breath for courage, she nodded. “S-sure, Adrien. That would be great!”

“Cool!” he said with a boyish grin, taking her hand in his as he tugged her up the stairs.

Barely stifling a quiet squeak, Marinette let Adrien guide her upstairs, briefly catching a glimpse of her parents’ knowing smiles. He let go of her hand when they entered the living room, sitting on her couch and patting the spot next to him. 

Giving Adrien a shy smile, she settled down by him, avoiding his glimmering, emerald green eyes. Her hands tore into her croissant as she tried to summon every last ounce of bravery she had. Come on, Marinette! You can do this! I believe in you , she thought to herself determinedly.

Turning to Adrien with one last deep gulp of air, she blurted out almost in perfect unison with him, “I have something to tell you!”

The two blinked at each other for a moment before bursting into laughter. In between giggles, Marinette wheezed out, “Y-you go first.”

Adrien gave a small but decisive nod before he leaned in closer to her. His eyes seemed to scan their surroundings warily before he looked back at her seriously, a hint of fear and worry dancing in his gaze. Slowly, his hand came up to cover hers, giving it a soft squeeze. Marinette gulped once nervously before he cleared his throat and stuttered out, “I-I know who you are.”

A deep frown creased her brow. “What?”

“I-I didn’t mean to! I swear ! It all happened so quickly! One second I had detransformed and was about to leave when you came barreling in! And I tried to hide, really I did! I hid behind a dumpster and covered my eyes but then your kwami said your name and then I guess I just knew,” Adrien spoke quickly, his eyes searching her gaze hopefully. 

Marinette sat frozen on the couch, her mouth wide open in horror. Trembling slightly, she stuttered out, “A-Adrien, I-I don’t understand. W-what are you talking about?! A kwami ... what’s that?”

“It’s okay, Marinette. You can trust me,” he said with a small, anxious smile, “Besides, I know you know what a kwami is because you were once Multimouse.”

“Multimouse,” she frowned at him, “But you weren’t... wait!”

She gasped in shock as Adrien merely nodded his head at her. “At your service, m’Lady.”

“Oh my god, you’re such an idiot!” Marinette shrieked at him, “We’re not supposed to know our secret identities.”

“I know and I’m sorry but I mmph—!” She cut Adrien off with a passionate kiss, relaxing as he melted into their embrace. 

Eventually, she pulled back, glancing up at him from beneath her lashes. “That was what I wanted to tell you, by the way.”

“Wha ... huh?!” Adrien blinked down at her dumbly.

Marinette giggled shyly, rolling her eyes, “I wanted to say that I love you, Adrien. Ever since you handed me that umbrella, I’ve been yours.”

A slow, wide smile stretched across his face before he hugged her tightly to his chest. Adrien connected their lips together once more before breathing out, “I love you too, Marinette.”

[catxsnow]

SPITFIRE J.T.

Summary: Maybe working with the Red Hood wasn’t as bad as you thought it was going to be. 

Warning: Suggestive Sexual Content but nothing major. Jason getting his ass kicked

A/N: I love Jason Todd more than myself. Welcome to my TED Talk

getting 100+ notes on my Puppy Love absolutely warmed my heart, thank you for the support!!

GIF is not mine - I’ve always been a fan of Matthew Daddario as Jason I’m sorry if think otherwise!

Word Count: 3.7k

The thing about being a hero, was that you never felt like a hero.

No matter who you took down, it was never going to be enough. There was always going to be someone to replace the person you caught.  Always someone bigger, badder, and harder to defeat than the last. After years of going through the motions, it was hard to see that your tactics changed to being more violent, more aggressive, but never lethal.

When you first started the game, you would try to make sure that no one would get hurt - including the people that you were going after. Now? Well, you'd have to wipe the blood off your suit and hide the bruises on your knuckles. You were dangerous, but that didn't mean that crime ever feared you.

The first time you saw him, you wondered who dared to try and take your city away from you and your protection. It wasn't hard to find him with his shining red helmet and the echo of ricocheting bullets. You were pissed to begin with that he was there but the fact that he was using guns as well? That just ticked you off.

Your first encounter was bloody, bruised, and maybe even broken. He was standing on the roof top, watching the people down below to see what was going on. After being in the hero game for a while, it was a little too easy to sneak up on people. He was just as surprised to feel a boot slam into his back with such force that he fell forward.

Your costume was sleek, skin tight, and as dark as the night itself. It took him half a second to realize that it was just a girl that had taken him down. His brief moment of underestimating you had been a mistake and you had taken the opportunity.

In a quick, precise, sequence of attacks, you took Jason down in seconds. You knew that one of his shoulders were popped out of place and the wind was knocked out of him. Your foot pressed into his chest the second he landed on his ass. His guns were knocked out of his hands and he was rendered defenseless by someone he didn't even know.

"Get out of my city," You nearly threatened him. This red helmet guy never said a word and you left without another. If you could take him down that easily the first time then you doubted that he was much of a threat - especially when he was hiding behind guns as a weapon.

Jason was in awe of you the moment that he saw you standing above him. However, he was also extremely pissed off - and that was something you should have been worried about. But, after not seeing him again for a week, the thought of him was out of your mind and you didn't think that he was going to come back.

That was your mistake.

Jason Todd was not the kind of person that someone should have messed with and you had pissed him off the second you laid eyes on him. While you thought he was gone from your home, he was actually picking up on your nightly routine. Where you would go as a vigilante, what your fighting style was like, he knew you just as much as you knew yourself.

You had been in the hero game for a while now. After seeing kids being slaughtered on your last day of high school, you wanted to make sure that no other kid had to go through that as well. Instead of going to like post-secondary like you had wanted, you had trained and trained until you knew that you could take down anyone that stood in your way.

Ten years later and you were standing there about to face your greatest foe yet: the Red Hood.

After not expecting to see Red Hood again, you were taken down by surprise while out on patrol. Jason had pulled the same trick on you that you had pulled on him. He had sneaked up behind you and pinned you to the ground. You didn't think that you would ever see this man again, yet here you both were.

Jason stood above you the same way that you had all those weeks ago with the exception of having a gun pointed at your head. "Who are you?" He asked with a modulated voice. As much as he had discovered about your fighting style, he never learned about your personal life or anything about who you really were.

"Get that gun out of my face and I might tell you," You snapped. Jason didn't budge. Using your elbow, you jammed it into the side of his knee with every ounce of strength you had. Thankfully he became off balanced enough that you could get out from under him and back on your feet.

The gun that Jason held was forced out of his hand and into your own. The moment that he realized you held one of his weapons, he had pulled out an identical gun. The two of you had the guns raised at each other. You couldn't see his expression, but judging by his body, he seemed laid back - like he knew you weren't going to shoot him.

After a moment of hesitance, you grabbed the gun by the chamber and held it out for him to take back. He grabbed it out of your hand, stepping back so you were out of arms reach. It was impossible to tell what he was thinking.

Seeing you, in that suit and holding his gun? Jason was more smitten than he wanted to admit.

"Red Hood," Jason told you upon realizing that you weren't going to attack him again. You couldn't see his face from under his helmet but he was eyeing you up like a next meal. Jason was attracted to you without even knowing what all of your face looked like.

"I thought I told you to get out of my city," You sneered at him. Jason holstered his guns and crossed his arms over his chest. “You’re going to get your ass handed to you if you don’t learn to listen to me.”

"I have some business here. The sooner I'm done, the sooner I'll leave," Jason gave you a vague answer. His business had been delayed after you made an appearance in his life. An idea popped into his head. "You know this city. Give me a hand and I'll be out of your life for good."

You hated guns. You hated what they could do to people and you hated being reminded of that terrifying, awful day at the high school every time you heard a shot go off. Yet, some how, up on that roof, you agreed to help this gun slaying vigilante so that he could get the hell out of your city.

After thinking for a couple moments, you stuck your hand out for him to shake. "Deal, Red," You squeezed his hand with a little more force than necessary. "You hurt one innocent civilian in my city and I won't hesitate to kill you myself. We get your guy and then you get the hell out of here and don't come back."

"I think you and I are going to get along just fine, spitfire."

><

You hated to admit it, but you and Jason got along a little too well while working together.

It took another week and a half to gather enough information about the man Jason was after. The two of you scouted and researched during the night, stopping a few criminals along the way. Jason would watch your six and you would do the same for him. In the short time that you worked together, it seemed that you were unstoppable.

Working with him had been an experience that you weren't expecting. On the streets the two of you were vicious, nothing and no one was going to stop you. However, when the two of you were in his hotel room, trying to figure out the connections of everything going on, the air felt lighter.

He would tease you, trying to get any sort of reaction out of you. Normally, you would hate when a man would do that to you, but with Red Hood, you couldn't help but tease him right back. You only hoped that under that helmet that he was at least smiling to your jokes.

He was.

Fighting a bunch of thugs alongside of him was more fun than it had been on your own and it looked like you guys had been at it for years.

You moved in sync with him and without even having to communicate that much, he had your back and you had his. It was as if the two of you were made to fight crime together. The time that it took to find who he was after had gone by far too fast and the night that you went after him finally arrived.

It was down by the docks, a new shipment of whatever he was trying to transport being brought in. You assumed guns, weapons, maybe even drugs. Never in your time in the city had you ever seen anyone try to smuggle in shipments. The bay that you had was small and big ships never made it in. Crime lords never found it worthy to bring in such small shipments until now.

You didn't know who the man was, or what he was bringing in but it had to have been bad. The night that you and Jason went after him was cold and rainy. However, the weather wasn't going to stop all of your hard work of trying to catch this guy.

There weren't many men. Being such a small area, you had to assume that they wanted to gain the least amount of attention as possible. Even only a dozen armed men, it still caught the attention of the Red Hood, and now, you too.

You and Jason quietly and efficiently took care of all the guards protecting the ship. Once again, the two of you fought so well and you were cherishing that this was going to be your last fight together. Jason was leaving you after tonight and you were a little disappointed.

You didn't know anything about him. Not once had he ever taken his helmet off in front of you or gave you any information about who he was. You were much the same, though. Your mask stayed on and he didn't even know your vigilante name - he continued to just call you spitfire.

So why were you so upset that you were never going to see him again? You didn't know the man, and yet you found yourself wanting - needing - to know more about him. To fight crime with him like this every night.

By the time that you reached the man that Jason was after, everyone that was protecting him was unconscious on the ground and he was left unguarded. Easy to take him down and easy to see what the hell he was trying to bring into the country through your city. He gave up like a scared puppy with his tail between his legs.

You and Jason looked intimidating above him. Between his broad shoulders, wide stance, and weapons laced up his legs and your arms wrapped snugly around his neck, he was terrified.

The shipment he was trying to bring in was destroyed with the help of Jason's tech that he carried around. It was hundreds of kilos of drugs and there was no chance that you were going to let that anywhere near the people of your city. The man and his crew were tied up and awaiting the police.

You and Jason got out of there before they showed up and ended up on the same roof top that you had met. "Guess this is goodbye," You crossed your arms over your chest, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. "Thank you, Hood. I would have never discovered that shipment in time."

Jason shrugged. Upon arriving in the city, he didn't care if those drugs had gotten into the city - he cared about the guy in charge and how he could lead Jason one step closer to taking down Black Mask once and for all. After spending time with you, and seeing how much you cared for the city, he knew that he couldn't let those drugs get loose.

"Do you want to get a drink?" You asked, suddenly. "I like to think that my liquor collection is quite extensive and to be honest, I could use a hand to finish up some bottles."

Jason knew that going for a drink would mean that he would have to reveal himself to you. However, he also knew that you would have to do the same. As much as he didn't want to expose himself about his real identity, he also knew his curiosity of who you were under your own mask was to great to let go of.

So, he agreed.

The two of you jumped from roof top to roof top until you finally stopped on the roof of an apartment building. The two of you used the fire escape to sneak into your home, making sure that no one saw either of you.

Jason was in awe as he saw your home. It was a decent size studio apartment and the decor you had was simple, elegant, and nothing like he expected. Out on the streets, you were ruthless, didn't hesitate to break a few bones when necessary, and you didn't have a fear of getting your hands dirty. Your apartment didn't share the same appearance.

While you left to get out of your wet suit, Jason looked around your place. He picked up the variety of mugs that you used, wondering why you had picked each of the different designs and how much they matched your personality. Leaving your small kitchen area, he looked at the pictures you had around your home.

The picture of you and your parents caught his attention. He could tell that it was you, without your mask you were drop-dead gorgeous. Jason admired you from the picture, still shocked that you were willing to trust him with your identity. He nearly dropped the picture as you came out of your room.

Your black suit had been replaced with an old shirt with your high school logo on it as well as a pair of cotton shorts that were a little too short to wear in public. Jason was thankfully that he was still wearing his helmet, at least then you couldn't see his eyes latched onto you.

"Guess it's time for a proper introduction," You told him, sticking your hand out. "My names (Y/N) (L/N)."

Jason finally brought himself out of daze. You watched as he brought his hands up to his helmet and lifted it off his head. Your breath caught in your throat, under that intimidating red helmet was the most gorgeous man you had ever seen in your life. Black hair with the smallest tuft of white in the front. Bright blue eyes locked onto yours.

His jawline was sharp and he had high cheek bones that put yours to shame. You already knew just by looking at him that under that dripping wet suit of his, that his body was incredible. Broad shoulders, muscular thighs, you had to assume that his torso was just the same.

Holy shit, you had no idea he was going to be this attractive.

"Jason Todd," he finally shook your hand. "If I would have known you were this beautiful I would have tried to get you back to your place a long time ago."

"Trust me, I was thinking exactly the same thing."

><

You woke up the next morning completely naked at a strong arm wrapped around your waist. There was a slight pain in your head, but not nearly close to the worst hangover that you've had. Jason. Jason had come over and the two of you had drank away a couple of the nearly empty bottles of whiskey you had.

The night was filled with stories of the horrors each of you saw on the streets and the life threatening wounds that you had received. It felt as if it was a competition to who had seen the worst and had the worst done to them. Jason had won, easily, when he announced that he had died and come back to life.

You didn't question who had done it, or what his life was like before he died. The look in his eyes told you enough - he didn't want to talk about it. You couldn't blame him. You were basically a stranger to him and although he might have trusted you enough to not let him die, he didn't trust you with his secrets.

Jason brought the topics to something more light. He talked about the places he had seen, the people he got to meet - and even some of the iconic Justice League members he worked with. Though you thought that it was incredible that he knew someone of the biggest heroes in the world, he made sure that you knew that they were nothing like they were projected to be.

One thing led to another, drinks upon drinks, and you had ended up leading him into your bedroom. Jason proved your point that in fact every part of his body was just as incredible as you thought it would be. You had sex quite a few times, but he was easily the best - and biggest - that you've ever had.

The moment that you stirred awake, Jason's arms pulled you tighter against his bare chest. You absorbed the warmth his body radiated. Waking up like this was a rare case for you. Often times you had to leave with a walk of shame or had awoken and left your home before whoever was in your bed was would wake.

This morning with Jason felt different. Everything with him felt different. You didn't feel the need to prove yourself to him or run away in shame. From what you learned about him the night before, Jason was the kind of man that saw the flaws in a person, but he was also willing to accept them.

Jason saw your flaws and instead of running from them, he embraced them. He saw you for the person that you were, not the kind of person that you showed yourself to be in front of everyone. He was quick to realize your facade and cut through the bullshit of it.

Soft kisses trailed up your back and your neck. The warm air suddenly felt cool and a shiver raked over your body. Jason couldn't get enough of your taste, you noticed that the night before and it was the same that morning too. His lips constantly only any bare skin he could find.

"Jason," you breathed out. The moment you rolled over to face him his lips were on yours and you were succumbed into the same trance you were in last night. The warmth in you chest, between your legs, god, his touch was addicting. "Jay," you broke apart trying to get his attention.

He was supposed to leave that morning. Jason came to your apartment last night to have a drink to say goodbye and today he was going to be gone and never to return. You didn't want to get more addicted to him than you already were in the short two weeks that you worked together.

Jason met your eyes. He pushed the loose hairs out of your face and kept his hand cupped on your cheek. He didn't want to leave you that morning. Not when he felt something other than anger and frustration since he came back from the dead. He wasn't aware of what this feeling was, but he knew he needed more of it.

But you wanted him out of your city. You told him that when you agreed to help him take down this criminal. As much as he didn't want to heed to his promise, he knew he needed to. Messing with you was something that he didn't want to do. He knew how deadly you were, and he didn't dare want to get on your bad side.

Just because you slept with him, didn't mean that you wanted him to stay. At least, that was what he thought.

"How do you feel about sticking around a little longer? I could use your help to take out some more guys," You suddenly asked. Your fingers trailed up his bare chest and then began to play with the scruff on his face that had grown over the few days. It was risky to ask him, you didn't want him to think that you were clingy, but you wanted to get to know him. You wanted to appease your cravings of him.

Jason held shock in his eyes but kept from making any faces with your question. He thought you would want him gone, out of your life forever. He wasn't going to be good for you - not when your ideals of how to save the city were different. He was just thankful that your line wasn't so far back as Batman's.

You knew that sometimes, lives had to be taken to solve any real problems - you just didn't want to admit it. You knew that you could never take a life, but you also knew why Jason could. Maybe you could learn from each other, maybe you could both learn yourselves to become more suited to the world you lived in.

Maybe that feeling in your chest when you were with him was meant to be more than just an addiction. Even after all these years you had so much to learn - and not just about crime fighting, but about life too. And maybe, just maybe, it was going to be Jason that was going to be the one to teach you these things, to learn these things with him.

"I was hoping that you'd keep me around, Spitfire."

[effieduan]

Ain’t Nothing But A Hound Dog || Kaden & Effie

TIMING: Shortly after Effie got Loker, her Basset Hound.

PARTIES: @chasseurdeloup & @effieduan

SUMMARY: Effie thinks the dog is going to eat her. Kaden thinks the dog is a monster. Truth is, he ain’t nothing but a hound dog

CONTENT: No Triggers!

“Nice doggy!” The hound bared his fangs at her, tail thumping against the ground with a hungry look on his face. It was like the tree situation, except she had managed to cram herself up onto her kitchen counter, staring warily down at the old basset hound. He was looking at her, every once in a while he would bark loudly at her. He wanted to eat her. She knew he wanted to eat her. The look in his eyes said all he wanted to eat for dinner that night was fox despite the multiple bags of kibble laying next to her island. Dog toys and multiple dog beds were strewn around the otherwise neat apartment -- Effie wasn’t planning on keeping the dog, really. She just didn’t want him to be uncomfortable during his stay. The dog barked as she gingerly tried swinging a leg over the counter, and she let out a shriek. Thank god she had the foresight to unplug everything in the apartment. “Nice! Doggy!”

Kaden came prepared, armed to the teeth. He had no idea what sort of canine creature would be waiting on the other side, but he was ready for anything. Hellhound, hedgehound, bonedoggle, aufhocker, barghest, cu-sith, dip, he had weapons for all of them. Could be anything. Probably not a raiju, squonk, or god forbid, a pricolici, but he was ready for any one of those all the same. Kaden knocked on the door. “Hello? Animal Control.” No response. Just a bark. And some yelling. He considered pounding on the door, but there was no time; there was no telling what was just beyond the threshold. She shrieked and he figured she’d forgive his intrusion later and Kaden threw himself into the door, shoulder first, ripping it off the hinges. His knife in hand, he sprinted to the source of the sound. “Hold on, I’m almost there! Stay calm!” shouted out as he ran towards the monster, ready to attack the second he saw whatever was waiting for him.

Animal Control. The dog was barking now, running in circles below her, absolutely bellowing his head off hearing someone at the door, and Effie shrieked again. What was that? Its call to arms?! Everything she ever knew about animals was rapidly leaving her head as pure terror replaced it, and she clung to her refrigerator, hardly even registering her door being kicked in. The dog lurched towards the intruder, and Effie yelled. “Wait! No!!” She wasn’t sure if it was to the dog or the man that came charging into her apartment, knife at the ready. The dog was jumping up onto the man’s knees, all stubby legs, floppy ears, tongue lolling out his mouth with loud deep barks coming from him. The familiar growl Effie had been hearing all morning -- or, well, since the dog had taken up residence in her home -- was coming from the back of his throat in between growls, his front paws tapping up onto the man’s legs as he jumped once, twice, three times…. But he wasn’t trying to rip the man’s kneecaps off. Or eat him. Or… well, do anything other than slobber on him. Effie froze, confusion flooding her face as she leaned forward to get a better look. “Wha -” She slipped, flailing down to the tile of her kitchen with a sharp smack. The dog barked, hopping down from the man, and immediately ran towards Effie -- Fear came back. That dog definitely has lunch on the mind! Her thoughts told her and she shrieked again, immediately driving back up for her safe spot on the counter, the dog nipping playfully at her heels.

Rounding the corner, Kaden scanned the area, looking for the monster in question. Which was it? What was he facing? Was the knife or the gun a better op--

Kaden stopped dead in his tracks, standing there, blinking in the kitchen as he saw a dog. Just a dog. “Putain de merde,” he started, letting loose a few more strings of curse words in French before letting out a deep sigh. The dog barked again at Effie before trotting over to him. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” It was a hound dog. Nothing but a fucking hound dog. And it was howling. Kaden raised his hand out of the way as fast as he could, trying to keep the knife from getting near the animal. This was absolutely not what he expected to see. He was about to give him a pat when there was a crash to the floor. “Putain, are you alright?” With a sigh, Kaden sheathed the knife. “This what you called me about?” He walked over and crouched by the dog and held out his hand for him to sniff. “He looks pretty friendly to me. How’d he get here?” For a split second, he wondered if this was an illusion. If this was a kelpie or a hellhound that had been glamoured. His brow furrowed and he tried to listen to his hunter senses, see if anything pinged. A small chill ran down his spine. Merde.

“He was going to eat me!!” Effie insisted, pointing at the dog. The dog, however, just ran back to sit under the counter where she took refuge, sitting his butt down happily as his tail thumped against the floor, tongue lolling out his mouth. Effie pressed her lips together, staring down at the dog in exasperation. “At least… I thought… he was going to eat me,” Effie muttered, feeling heat rush to her face as she realized once again how silly she was being. Still, though, she didn’t get down off the counter. Instead, she pulled her legs up, crossing them. “I - Look. I’m not really a dog person -- I mean, I had one growing up --” Effie pointed at the single family photo she had. Five little girls, one separated from the rest wearing rubber gloves, and a big yellow golden retriever. “But Noodle was different and he’s…” Effie looked down at the dog again, and as if in response, he cocked his head at her. “... Not going to eat me,” she resigned. He barked as if he was agreeing with her.  “I’m sorry. He -- well, he chased me up a tree in the common, and some lady helped me down. And then I thought he just went away, but I got back to my car and I swear I only left the driver’s side door open for a second, so I could put my bag in the trunk and there he was in the passenger seat! And everytime I tried to get him down he just…. Did the growly thing at me. So I drove home and then he got out once we got home, and I parked and I figured that was the end of it… until I unlocked the door to my shop and he ran in. He’s not chipped, and no one responded to the LOST posters I posted in town and online, and I don’t want him to go to the pound or a shelter because he’s old. Old dogs don’t -- well, you know.” The dog barked again, and Effie jumped, looking away from Kaden and down at the dog. “What?! You are old!” More barking.

All Kaden could do was furrow his brow and blink, eyes darting between the dog and her. Then back again. Something wasn’t adding up. Scratch that, a lot of things weren’t adding up. And the more she talked, the less sense it made. “So. You’re scared of the dog. And brought it home anyway. And decided now was the time to call animal control?” Kaden wiped his face and sighed. It was so tempting to let his guard down. But the ping was there. That little sneaking sense of danger nearby. A monster. But this dog seemed completely normal. Then again, looks could be deceiving. Werewolves looked like humans most of the time, after all. “What made you think he was going to eat you? Did he ever look different? Or just like this?” The dog grumbled like it was tired of being told it was vicious when he just wanted some love. Kaden held his hand out again and the dog sniffed and snuffed before waddling over for pets, leaning into the hunter’s leg as he rubbed the critter’s side. There was no more ping, no more danger when touching the potential monster. Not like with Wrinkles way back when. This dog was… just a dog. Kaden went to stand up and the dog howled a little. “What?” Kaden asked, a smile breaking out on his face as he looked down. “What do you want?” The dog leapt up onto his knee, clearly not done with pets. Goofy grin plastered all over his face, Kaden reached down and scooped up the dog and started giving him more scritches and scratches, cooing a little at the old guy. “Look at you, you’re just a good boy. You are. Anyone would be lucky to have you, right? Yes.” Kaden nearly forgot that he wasn’t alone, that Effie was curled up, away from the dog. He coughed, cleared his throat, tried to find whatever professional dignity he might have left to find. “You want to pet him? He’s not going to eat you.” He finally noticed the gloves she was wearing. “Maybe without those. I mean, if you want. Up to you.”

“I told you I thought he was going to eat me,” Effie mumbled, still embarrassed by this whole situation. She looked up at him, about to ask why the dog would ever look different before she remembered that the poor animal control workers in this town probably saw more bullshit than anyone else. She deflated slightly. Maybe this would give him an actual break. “No, he always looked like that. I just -- I’m scared of hound dogs. I’m sorry.” She watched as the grumpy french man’s facade melted away and he scooped up all 65 pounds of basset hound off the ground, cooing and cuddling him. The surprise hit her first, and then the amusement. Under that lay something ugly. She was envious of his freedom to play with her dog. She could never do that, not without fear of frying his skin or worse. Effie sat on her counter watching with envious amusement until he seemed to realize that she was watching him. “Without the --” Effie looked down at her gloved hands, before looking at the dog apprehensively. “I’m having a bad hand day,” she said quietly. It wasn’t a lie, of course, she couldn’t tell them. It was just that every day was a bad hand day. Effie quietly pushed herself off the counter, this time landing on her feet as she cautiously approached. Slowly, very slowly, she reached out and patted the dog on the head.

Kaden shook his head and supposed he had to accept that this was just an over reaction. Unless… This was White Crest, after all. Maybe she had seen something real. Or maybe a phobid had enhanced her fear. Who knew. He could hear her heartbeat slowing ever slightly. It was still pounding pretty hard, she was clearly very nervous. Not that her words told him any different. “It’s alright. He’s not going to try and eat you. Pro--” Kaden shut his mouth so fast he nearly bit his tongue. How that word still crept into his vocabulary even now, he didn’t know. “Just trust me, he just wants some love. And I’ve got him so if anything happens, you’ll be okay. Alright?” Kaden wasn’t a very patient man at times, but something about working with animals made it all so much easier to just wait, breathe a moment, and take things a little slower. And it was clear she was trying. If she was going to keep this dog, she was going to have to get used to basic things. Like petting him. So patience it was. “Alright then, suit yourself,” he said and gave her a nod to come closer. Her hand reached out and touched the pup and immediately he tried to wriggle out of Kaden’s grasp, likely to lick Effie’s face. The hunter held tight and kept the dog from getting loose. “Easy there,” he said, keeping the canine steady. “Both of you need to take it slow, got it?” He gave the dog a stern look and in response, the hound looked up and licked Kaden’s nose instead. “Wonderful.” And his hands were full. Oh well. Guess dog slobber it was.

Embarrassment clung to her as Effie watched Kaden coax her to pet the dog. It was so… ridiculous. Was this what her life was? Being terrified of every living thing that came into her house? She pat the dog anyway, though, and he seemed not to mind how strange her hands felt with her gloves on. “Oh!” Effie pulled her hand back in surprise just as the dog licked Kaden’s nose. She froze, feeling the laugh building in her before she could stop it, and a second later she was covering her mouth to conceal the snickering. “Sorry, sorry.” The dog wiggled in his arms and looked down at him, a small smile spreading across her face. “I’m sorry I thought you were going to eat me,” she said to the dog, gently reaching out to pat the dog on the head again if only so he would stop licking Kaden’s face. He went to licking her gloves and rubbing his floppy eared head against her hand instead. She glanced up at Kaden too, her smile turning sheepish. “And for, um, making you kick my door in.”

[frenchtoastpanda]

The Leverage finale

Gonna rant in public because @rainaramsay expressed interest. I have no theme this is just my thoughts as I rewatch this episode. Idk why I’m doing this. (Also I don’t know how to format, so sorry about that)

Oh right I forgot that this is a fucking sad episode why am I doing this to myself

Ooh the return of the Steranko! I am very glad they brought that back

I just love when they bring things back in general, like in the white rabbit job all of the companies looking to buy dogson are previous marks and how they have like three brand names for safes that they reuse a lot. It just makes it feel like a real world that people live in.

The theater! Perfect for Sophie! And the mentioned the tunnels, which I believe we encountered in the gold job

Sophie says “I have just the thing” and my immediate response is always “the play’s the thing” even though I know it’s from a different play than the one they are doing

And can we talk about how they are doing the same play as the pilot? Actually I will probably yell about that closer to the end

Parker being all emotionally cognizant and Nate just reciting physics formulas in response

God I love this bit (and I love that they are still including references to Nate’s alcoholism)

Just, Parker, the new mastermind, who doesn’t “let feelings get in the way” (like Hardison - this is the reason he can’t be the mastermind, much to his chagrin. He’s too much of a cinnamon roll)

Nate says she spins problems like puzzle pieces until they click, but I think it’s more like juggling all the fiddly bits inside a lock until it clicks open

HE TRUSTS HER HE TRUSTS HER HE TRUSTS HER!!!!!!!

Zachary is the lead! Love him!

Sophie saying she doesn’t miss acting at all 😏

She is a good director, though

"I'm exactly where I belong" I'm gonna die I am so happy for all of them

Oh no here we go

Cut right to Nate covered in cuts being interrogated about the mistakes he made

"Mr. Ford, how did your friends die?" CUT TO COMMERCIAL

This must have killed me the first time around

I do love this investigator though. I think I remember from the commentary that it wasn't originally supposed to be her, but it worked out really well

Nate looking around like he's confused (and trapped) while not being able to put together a full sentence (I'm not sure if I ever developed a solid headcannon for how much of this scene was him faking and how much was actual injuries from the actual crash) (I'm open to ideas!)

Ellen giving a vicious predatory little smile when she says that she's here to help him

I wish I could do gifs or screencaps or something. This is one of my absolute favorite callbacks! Parker in that little black bonnet thing jumping off a building having the time of her life and the boys do their "twenty pounds of crazy in a five pound bag" thing (whuch my autocorrect recognized as a phrase for some reason? Do I really yell about that but enough for it to suggest those words in that order? Fantastic)

But this time their faces and voices are full of affection. She may be an insane thief/mastermind, but she's OUR insane thief/mastermind

And coming after the white rabbit job where we had that line about how she's not and never has been crazy, the fact that you can tell they are saying this as a callback without meaning the crazy part is just perfect

It makes me wonder how many other times they have repeated this, because you can't convince me they haven't

Aah Sophie's horrible rendition of Lady Macbeth! Same speech, different ways of doing it just as badly (props to Gina Bellman)

Is this the same outfit? Hold on I need to check.

Y'know, I didn't think they changed that much physically over the years, given that they are adults, but going back to the pilot, I keep going awww look how tiny they were! (Especially Aldis. Like I know they had problems because he was getting too hot and ripped, but Damn)

Anyway, the dress is very very similar, same color and pattern, but it very slightly different. I will maybe post my very very horrible pictures after I finish this

Parker is so good at computers now that she has this adorably bored face when hacking! I love that they taught each other their stuff!

Using chaos as a distraction and co-opting the expected response as a cover! One of my favorite tricks!

Parker changing in the elevator! And the boys turning to give her privacy! And this isn't even the first time they did a callback to this! I love my respectful boys! Remember when Hardison turned the David around? So pure!

Ah, we are setting up for competency porn and then it all goes bad! Aah!

I love Eliot's little "wassup?" Before fighting the guy. Points for intimidation, Spencer

My stronk babies opening an elevator with their fingertips

And Hardison's recurrent fear of heights combined with Parker's love of them

She says "I got you" (twice)

Oh god Beth's acting in the elevator shafts

Oh I'm gonna cry

Oh and a "dammit Hardison"

Oh Gina's face

Even in a situation as tense as this, Eliot still takes the time to empty the gus and toss it away

I don't think I've ever seen him check for an ankle piece, actually. How has that not come up before now?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

"Age of the geek, brother" I'm sobbing

I mean, so is everybody

Look at this acting!

I love that they didn't go for the clichéd established couple dying in each other's arms, but instead put Eliot in the middle, giving us our yummy hurt ot3 goodness

And Parker sitting up so she sees the other two go

Ugh. Where's that poetic cinéma image when you need it?

Anyone remember the perfectly timed bridge from the pilot?

What number Lucille are they on?

I love that they actually stop in from of the barrier at the bridge, then take a moment to decide before just going for the crazy impossible stunt because why the hell not at this point

Ah Nate and Sophie are holding hands on the way to death too!!

And cut the scene before they reach the top of the bridge. Time to see Tim show us why he's an academy award winner

Ooh and here's where we find out she was lying! (Should this be the part where I started wondering if Nate knew? Probably. Did I? Not even a little)

There was a big twist where the person Nate was facing off against was playing him in the pilot too

But John fucking Rogers didn't play ME in the pilot. I take that personally.

Ooh hints at the true story are being dropped

Ellen is almost adequately suspicious

JUST WALK TWO FEET FORWARD ELLEN! LOOK AT THE STAGE! COME ON!

"You loved them very much" Yeah he did. They all did! Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh!

She knows he's lying, I love that (just like Dubenich knew Sophie was manipulating him)

"The only thing I ever had"? That's intense, Nate

God Tim is a good actor

(Like I low-key don't like Nate at all, but Damn he is well acted)

And he just turns it off, just like that

Wow

I am really into her little impressed face when he goes all Sherlock and explains how he knows they are at interpol

The glass! Of course Sterling brings him the glass! Not a pilot callback, but a good callback nontheless. The commentary says it's literally the same exact glass every time. I will have to go back and verify that at some point. I swear it didn't have those ridges around the bottom in at least one episode, but I also trust John Rogers, so idk

I love how sterling knows everything from the moment he appears, and Ellen doesn't even know what the black book is

"That's why you joined Interpol? Screw justice. You're the order guy?" What a good line for Nate and Sterling's relationship

Nate's not even interested in hearing Sterling's evil speech of evil about the bailouts

I actually really love the little exposition flashbacks

Her look of horror and dawning comphrension when he explains why he is there is fantastic. If we bring this show back, can we have more of this lady?

Yeah, Ellen, why IS he still lying to you??

Sterling remembered to be cautious about the coroner's van, but not cautious enough!

That's some timing. How did Nate arrange that ? Oh right, this was triggered by the arrival of the van, which he probably set the timing of

Nate's face after "Parker's still in the server room." Yes, sell that fear to Sterling! Make him believe he's right! I wouldn't have thought to fake a reaction to that. But that's why I'm not a griffer

And he trusted sterling to have a snark remark so that he could have an attention-stealing reaction to distract him

I try every time to see the kids going in, and I never manage to catch all of them

Why does Nate turn away here?

God, that really is a terrifyingly lifelike Hardison face

I gotta say, the first time I saw sterling shoot the Hardison corpse, I was really convinced that he was right and he was really killing Hardison for the first time

"Second question... No, Nate, why don't you tell her what my second question is?"

Honestly, the first time around, I had forgotten about that secret meeting between Nate and Hardison

"The plan's the thing" A callback to earlier in this episode. I'm dying. I love this show so much

And they can do that without being annoying because every leverage episode is like three or four episodes rolled into one. Sometimes more!

That's one of my favorite parts, but also one of the very few downsides

I get so excited watching the flashbacks that show how it all happened

Omg I love the thing where they stack! Parker crouching, Eliot just above her head, Hardison looming tall! It reminds me of the princess bride for some reason

Sterling is the Trojan horse, the way out is the way in...wait, didn't they do that with at least one other episode, where the floor was a horrible way in, but last minute they used it as a way out?

Are these callbacks or parallels at this point?

Sophie taught Nate how to act! "She found her calling." Yeah she did! So proud of her!

"Your ride to a life sentence in a secret prison has arrived" So dramatic for someone who knows Sophie is behind the wheel

Ooooooohhh he called him James!

"You and I are not the same" okay sterling

"Justice is always easy" YES GO STERLING wait that's a callback to the justice vs order thing earlier in this episode. I just got that

I have seen this so many times and I still notice something new every time I watch it

Does John Rogers have a tumblr? I want to tag him but I don't think he does

What is Parker wearing? Why is one sleeve randomly yellow?

I can't believe Nate is proposing in a hoodie

I love how the kids pop in with insults and Nate just agrees. He knows it's true

That's a huge fucking rock

"Did you steal it?" "No." "Oh, cause that would have been more romantic"

"I'll steal the first anniversary ring" lol I love these guys

Parker insists he follow the proper procedure

Oh wait, the ot3 are gonna branch out with other crews?

Y'know, in an alternate universe I could have shipped Eliot and Sophie

GOD

I'M CRYING AGAIN

"You're the smartest man I know" where have we heard that before?

Parker recognizing her feelings! (And they've been preparing her for this the longest)

Aah, the circle shot from above and the breakaway, but this time not everyone breaks away!!!!!!!!!!

"You do know that Laura is not my real name, don't you?" Sophie I'm gonna kill you

And then the big obvious callback to the pilot, where Beth meticulously studied Tim's acting to recreate it

Loving the look of this scene. The costumes, the blocking, all of it

And they made sure to switch which parent was crying

Very excited for leverage international. Gimme!

[tyrantisterror]

Revenge of the ATOM Create a Kaiju Contest: ENTRY ROUNDUP!

Twenty three wonderful monsters were submitted by twenty three wonderful people to the second ATOM Create a Kaiju Contest.  Let’s give them all their due before the winners are announced, shall we?  Just as with last time, I went ahead and sketched them all, because I’m a masochist who enjoys hurting his carpal tunnel ridden hand, and because I feel like it gives every monster a fair shake.

@bugcthulhu starts us off with Rohobaron, a hot-headed retrosaur/crocodile chimera that can superheat his body to ignite the landscape and incinerate enemies with a touch.  Despite the fairly nasty powers, Rohobaron actually has a somewhat sweet personality, being quick to make friends and staunchly loyal to his allies, though his short fuse can also make him drag his friends into danger.

Design-wise, Rohobaron’s got a very solid concept, with those dynamic fuckoff-big arms and horns  being the most obvious selling points, along with little dashes of character like the gharial lump on his nose and the heavily armored plates on his chest.  You wouldn’t confuse him with the other retrosaur kaiju in the series, that’s for sure.  The idea of a monster this burly and gnarly looking being a sweetheart is the kind of “appearances can be decieving” thing that ATOM thrives on, and giving a kaiju powers that reflect its personality (in this case, hot-headedness = heat powers) is always cool.  There are some minor continuity issues with the bio given what’s going to happen in ATOM Vol. 2, but Rohobaron doesn’t lose points for not reading a book that isn’t fully written yet.  All in all, a wonderful submission!

@akitymh is next with Charlotte, a retrosaur of the herbivorous persuasion.  Exactly what clade of herbivorous retrosaur it belongs to is intentionally unclear, as Charlotte has a thagomizer like an armored goliath, but also shares some quirks with horned goliaths, despite lacking horns itself.  A missing link, perhaps?  She’s also unusually large for an ATOM kaiju, which suggests she’s been around for a long time - reinforced by her calm and sometimes protective nature, as the older kaiju tend to be less fight-focused than the young ones in ATOM.

Charlotte’s design is very interesting, and I like the idea of having some retrosaurs who don’t quite fit into any one given clade - it makes it more like real life taxonomy to have some oddballs here and there.  Her smattering of armor plates gives her and interesting look, and I like how her long hind legs allow her to go bipedal as well as walk on all fours.  Her neutral personality also makes her stand out among the mostly fight-happy monsters of ATOM.  All in all, a solid entry!

We continue the prehistoric theme with @ariccio50‘s marvelous armored retrosaur, Scolosurtr!  An genetically modified armored goliath, Scolosurtr’s most prominent features, as you have no doubt noticed, are the two massive yet hollow spikes on his back, which are connected to the kaiju’s two massive hearts and occasionally shoot projectiles when he’s pissed (though this is painful for the reptile to do).  Scolosurtr can superheat his blood as a defensive mechanism, which in turn allows him to melt the ice that often clings to his body in the frosty countries he tends to roam.  The armored monster is very easily stressed out, particularly by his fellow kaiju, and will even bite his tail in an attempt to calm down.

Scolotsurtr’s design is rad as hell - I love a giant monster that looks like a mountain, and the mini-volcano shaped shoulder spikes are such a cool pokeon-esque design feature (I say that as high praise).  His icy, antisocial personality is a fun contrast with his fiery look, and the personality tick of biting his own tail to calm down is a very endearing quirk.  Also, can we appreciate how wide this fella is?  Just an absolute unit.  His powerset allows him to stand out from the mostly tooth and claw fighters of ATOM, while still being balanced thanks to the pain it causes him to use it.  A very well rounded entry!

@scatha5 brings us our fourth entry, the enormous armadillo Rerradon!  Shy but willing to fight when backed into a corner, Rerradon is a formidable enemy when roused, with thick armor keeping him well defended and enough claws and spikes to make other monsters rethink their choice to attack him.

Mammalian kaiju are, as many have noted, very rare, and Rerradon is an excellent contribution to their small but growing ranks.  I’m a sucker for armadillos too, and Rerradon keeps all the traits I love about them while still having a unique and monstrous look to him.  My favorite detail on this fella, though, is one of his alternate names - “Dracula’s Weird Dog.”  Why?  Well, because of the fact it references some obscure monster movie trivia - both in the 30′s when the Bela Lugosi Dracula first came out, and the 50′s when it was prominently re-released, armadillos were not a particularly well known creature, and would have been considered exotic and strange by most Americans.  As a result, the film-makers of Dracula put an armadillo in the vampire’s haunted castle, banking on viewers thinking it was some sort of strange monster.  And, at the time, it works - most people who saw the film had no idea what the strange lizard rat thing was, though I imagine anyone living in the Southwest probably wondered why the hell an armadillo was in Transylvania.  Obscure references to monster movie minutia are exactly ATOM’s jam!

Our next monster is @quinnred‘s flying saucer mimic, Mogul!  An enormous descendent of the sea cucumber, Mogul needs both Yamaneon radiation and water to survive, and causes a great deal of chaos in the process of feeding until scientists realize dehydration can drive the creature away,  While too simple in nature to exhibit much of a personality, Mogul’s mysterious nature and accidental imitation of interstellar travelers allows it to leave a mark nonetheless.

An incredibly clever design that I wasn’t quite skilled enough to capture in my sketch (you should always check out the links to the originals here, folks), Mogul is tailor made to a great 1950′s style monster story.  You have the initial mystery with an inherent red herring built into it (i.e. everyone thinking the creature is initially a UFO), the startling discovery of what we’re really dealing with, and a creative solution that scientists come upon when studying the monster’s biology.  While Mogul’s simple nature means it might have trouble in a kaiju vs. kaiju story, it’s incredibly well suited to a stand alone tale, the kind that could really flesh out ATOM’s giant monster crisis.

@cerothenull brings us our first big arthropod, Acanpetax the enormous assassin bug!  A gnarly insect that wears the bones of kaiju its killed as armor, Acanpetax is a cruel and vicious hunter of its fellow monsters, though over time its vicious ways soften.

Kaiju bones turn to Yamaneon when they die, and Yamaneon crystals are shaped in a way that would give them a very coarse, spiky texture (if my muddied memories of Geology 101 are correct, anyway), making the insect’s armor even more evil-looking, which is great for a monster that (initially) plays a Heel role.  This guy has the makings of a great villain monster, and I like that, in ATOM fashion, he still manages to get a heroic turn over time, especially the implication in his bio that it comes from communicating with the spirit of the snake monster whose skull he currently wears as a hat.  It’s delightfully weird!  A big bug with a solid visual to work off of and a great role and character arc baked into his personality, Acanpetax is a strong contender!

(no seriously you really need to check out the original postings, my sketch here does not do this fella justice)

@evolutionsvoid also shows ATOM’s big bugs some love by bringing the fungus infested Megaria into their ranks!  Originally a larval cicada that was parasitized (and likely to die) by a fungus, Megaria’s sudden transformation into a kaiju brought her into a more balanced symbiosis with her parasite.  Neither an attacker or a protector, Megaria is a spectator of kaiju fights, and will eagerly watch her fellow giants battle without participating herself.  She is a force to be reckoned with when backed into a corner, though, as Megaria’s fungal growths have given her a variety of sound-based abilities, many of which she is not fully in control of.

It hasn’t been touched on in ATOM much yet, but plants and fungi are affected by Yamaneon radiation in a very similar manner as animal life, and Megaria presents a fun opportunity to explore that.  The idea of a parasite and its victim becoming partners post-mutation is really interesting, and Megaria’s design is just as interesting to look at as its concept is to think about.  Her fungal symbiote also gives her a great number of unique powers and abilities to make any fight scenes she’d be in unique, while her personality as a kaiju spectator allows her to stand out (I can see her making cameos in other stories as a background monster).  Another solid contender for the contest!

@highly-radioactive-nerd takes us back to the past with the helmeted retrosaur Tsunoking!  Technically a paleo tyrant, Tsunoking sports several defensive adaptations that are similar to those sported by many herbivorous retrosaurs as well, though perhaps his most notable adaptation is the crown of horns that gives him his name (see, he’s pointing to it in my sketch!  It’s a nice crown.).  A proud but honorable monster, Tsunoking is a powerful fighter who prefers to fight similarly powerful foes, and is also rather fastidious when it comes to personal hygiene.

I love the chimeric mix of features here - the dragon-y snout, the pachycephalosaurus dome skull, and the ankylosaurus tail club all give Tsunoking a very unique silhouette among the many carnivorous retrosaur kaiju in ATOM, and would no doubt provide some fun speculation for ATOM’s paleontologists.  The vanity gives his heroic personality a fun flaw to work with, and I likewise think his Samurai-esque honor code could be interesting to work with in a story.  A wonderful prehistoric monster to add to the roster!

@dragonzzilla brings us a very strange and melancholic monster, the bipedal caribou Najjuk!  In addition to its striking humanoid stance, Najjuk emits a great deal of toxic gas as a byproduct of its Ice Age biology, and its inability to cope with warm temperatures results in it becoming incredibly aggressive and dangerous whenever it leaves its arctic environment.

There’s a clear (but not too heavy handed) metaphor for global warming in the threat Najjuk presents, as the warming of the earth leaves it less cool spaces to seek refuge in, and the caribou’s methane emissions actually contribute to the problem that’s destroying its home.  The monster also has a great deal of pathos built into it - a herd animal that is the last of its kind, forced to live in a habitat that’s too inhospitably cold for most other kaiju to tolerate, making it an incredibly lonely monster.  Combine the symbolism and pathos of its plight with a very striking mammalian design and you have an incredibly unique entry into ATOM’s menagerie of monsters!

@virovac gives us a truly bizarre entry with one of the most clever descriptions I’ve read so far, the low budget monstrosity known as Nematerror!  A mutant roundworm, Nematerror is one of the monsters considered too simple in nature to have a personality, though it still seeks what it needs with enough voraciousness to be considered a threat.

The really ingenious thing about this entry lay in its description, as virovac chose to describe how the creature would look if it were an actual prop in a low budget 50′s monster movie.  Made from a garden hose, stuffed socks, and some other trash, Nematerror is the kind of cornball monster puppet idea that could only be carried out in the atomic era of creature features, the kind that Joel and the bots would have a field day with.  There’s even a description of how its hose nozzle could be turned around to represent a nematode’s malleable mouth parts!  It’s very clever, and definitely the sort of idea that suits ATOM’s love of cheesy monster movies.

@skarmorysilver brings us the old and crusty mole monster, Gnomoran!  A sadistic curmudgeon, Gnomoran is a deeply unpleasant monster to face in battle.  With venomous spit and caustic pus secreted from its many facial sores, Gnomoran’s natural weapons give it a revolting edge, which is made all the more nasty by its mean-spirited personality.  However, Gnomoran is also in immense pain, as its healing factor has been thrown off kilter, giving it the kaiju equivalent of cancer.

The design of Gnomoran is excellent.  Like many of the previous ATOM CKC entries, it plays on the secret connection between ATOM and my Midgaheim stories, in this case using my mole-derived Gnomes/Dwarves as a starting point, and working back to show their more explicitly rodent-like roots.  The star-faced mole nose, long beard, big ol’ horn, and lumpy tumors all give him a bunch of iconic design details, and his power set of venom and caustic pus is uniquely gross.  He’s a great Heel monster, with a nasty attitude to match his equally nasty looks and power set, all while still having the ability to be sympathetic.  Figuring out how to explain why his healing factor has gotten so out of whack presents a bit of a continuity hurdle - Gnomoran has symptoms of both cancer and old age, which normally aren’t possible in an ATOM-verse kaiju, so that would need a good explanation.  But design and personality wise he’s a damn good fit!

DA user Lediblock submitted the chicken/retrosaur hybrid Galiente!  Made by splicing DNA from Tyrantis’s blue nemesis, the Terror, with that of a chicken, Galiente is a panicky, defensive monster who is tormented by the knowledge that other kaiju find his flesh ridiculously delicious.

Galiente’s design is a freakish mix of reptile and bird that goes for body horror, with a patchwork mix of scales, feathers, and raw skin, twisted limbs, and, somewhat inexplicably considering the two animals it’s a mix of, velociraptor feet.  The result is a very tortured looking creature, which fits its nervous and tragically aggressive personality - Galiente is a monster that picks fights because it fears it will get hurt if it doesn’t make the first move.  There’s a sadness that goes along with its wretched appearance and attitude that’s very sympathetic.  The monster’s backstory would probably need some tweaks, though - the many ways it is tied to Tyrantis specifically seem a bit unnecessary, with the “people mistake it for Tyrantis” angle being a bit implausible (and somewhat redundant, given Tyrantis already has two enemies that are his twisted doppelgangers as is), and I’m not sure a monster hunting organization would recruit a chicken farmer into their ranks, no matter how good his business savvy is.  Still, a plausible backstory wasn’t one of the contest requirements, and design and personality-wise Galiente is a very solid concept.

@protagonistprepblog submitted Gentil, an armored monster with a sweet disposition!  Gentil is designed to be something of an earth elemental, with a mix of traits from various creatures associated with that element.  He sports a healing mist/aura, a poison blast from his mouth, venomous claws, and the standard kaiju powers of strength and nigh invulnerability.  He’s also smart enough to join an organization specifically to help people.

Gentil has a very striking design, albeit one that’s (intentionally) hard to place taxonomically.  He would probably be the result of genetic modification in ATOM’s world, though the way his creator described him as the kaiju of the Earth Element makes me think the intention is for something more magical in origin.  The sweet personality suits his name very well, and as far as monsters go he’s very friend-shaped.  Most of Gentil’s information was shared with me by his creator via DMs, and he’s a very thoroughly developed concept, albeit one that seems to fit a story of protagonistprepblog’s creation a bit better than ATOM.  A wonderful submission nonetheless!

@dinosaurana submits the nuclear gator known far and wide as One-Armed Louie!  Already a menace when he was just a big, one-armed alligator, Louie became a true menace when he survived the explosive failure of a nuclear power plant, resulting in a number of wild mutations that, among other things, allow the massive crocodilian to assume a semi-bipedal stance.  Louie’s aggressive nature and history of getting into mischief ironically make him a pretty good kaiju to have around, as he will more often than not turn those shit-starting instincts on his fellow giants and end up keeping them in line as a result.  Even Jim Madson, a gator hunter turned kaiju wrangler, can’t help but appreciate how the “rat bastard” has become something of a boon to humanity since becoming freakishly large.

One-Armed Louie brings a true crocodilian to ATOM’s cast, which warms my reptile loving heart.  One could argue that the retrosaurs are all just very weird crocodiles, of course, but while that may literally be the case, most of them don’t look like crocodiles - they don’t have that pure crocodile vibe - and Louie makes up for their deficiency by being very much a big ol’ crocodilian.  Big ol’ gators and crocs are a giant monster movie archetype just as much as big ol’ bugs, and Louie gives them their due very well.  He also looks absolutely hardcore, which fits his aggressive “rat bastard” personality to a T.  A very solid entry for the contest!

@iamthekaijuking submitted the modified martian monster Nyergolep!  Originally from the planet Mars, Nyergolep was kidnapped by the Beyonder Alliance and experimented upon until it developed psychic powers.  Designed to be a sort of anti-Kemlasulla, Nyergolep is a nervous wreck who hates combat and desperately wants to escape the Beyonders.

Nyergolep’s design takes a lot from Kemlasulla’s, albeit with a lot of twists - fitting for the “Anti-Kemlasulla.”  Its tentacles are much more massive than its legs, with the roles of each set of limbs being reversed (i.e. using tentacles for locomotion instead of grasping, using legs for grasping instead of locomotion), and it lacks all of the armor Kemlasulla has, including the bony plates protecting the head and eye.  The result is a very fragile looking martian, the squishy mage to Kemlasulla’s rough and rowdy fighter.  I like the wiggly line of its upper jaw the best - don’t ask me why.  “Nergle’s” design is a little too closely tied to Kemlasulla’s for me to give full marks in that category, though I do love that wiggly mouth.  Its personality is pretty damn good though, fitting with the other shell-shocked war veterans in the Beyonder Kaiju army.

@dragonseeker-rex submitted the cactus/bird hybrid Orothorn!  In a story that feels like it came from one of the more light-hearted Twilight Zone episodes, Orothorn began as a normal gilded flicker that happened to befriend an cowboy actor named Mick Auricson (specializing in playing cowboys was A Thing in the 1950′s) after Mick nursed the little bird back to health.  An ill-placed dynamite explosion near a hidden Yamaneon deposit not only supersized Orothorn, but fused it with some of the nearby cactus (violent bursts of Yamaneon radiation can do this kind of shit on occasion), creating a massive, thorny-skinned bird monster with a heart of gold and a fondness for humans in general, and Mick Auricson in particular.  The feeling is mutual, as Mick even commissioned a special kaiju-sized scarf for the bird to wear (which I forgot to illustrate, whoops!).

Birds are lacking in ATOM’s roster (we don’t even have any in the core 50 files), and Orothorn is a unique take on the concept, with cactus thorns sticking out from between his feathers.  Him being a kaiju that specifically emulates the heroic behavior of a cowboy (actor) is also adorable and so very in line with ATOM’s sensibilities, it’s genuinely cute and I love it.  It’s a giant bird with cactus thorns that wears a scarf and thinks it’s a cowboy, how can you not love that?

Dracosaurus Rex submitted the enormous tuatara kaiju Tuatani!  Initially mistaken for being a retrosaur, this three eyed reptile can shoot energy blasts from his third eye and carries a virulent disease in his blood that infects any who encounter it.  A lonesome creature, Tuatani is very placcid during the day but will go on nightly rampages from time to time, apparently in a fit of vengeful despair at being the only one of his kind.

A clear homage to the Beast from 20,000 Fathoms, Tuatani nevertheless has a lot to set him apart from his inspiration, with a multi-eyed motiff that sports an actual third eye as well as several eyespots.  The loneliness that drives him to lash out is a nice nod to both the film and the short story that inspired it, and his status as a Tuatara descendant would make him the last modern reptile missing from ATOM’s pantheon.  The nature of the disease in his blood would need some elaboration, as the immune systems of ATOM kaiju are very strong (being able to regenerate white blood cells almost instantaneously makes it very easy for them to learn which micro-organisms need to be destroyed), but it’s an interesting power for the monster to have.  A very solid entry!

@umbercario-sablesable gives us the giant silkworm, Munchy!  A caterpillar whose head, jaws, and true legs are covered in a metal alloy. Munchy lives to eat, and with metal jaws he can eat quite a lot of things!  While the insect will eat any non-living matter it comes across, it prefers not to eat living things, which makes it one of the few monsters who finds buildings more appetizing than the people inside them.  Though Munchy has little desire in this world outside of sating its gluttony, it isn’t a malicious creature, and so long as your house isn’t in its path you have little to fear from the monster.

Silkworms have a short but important role in kaiju history, as Mothra’s larva form is based on a type of silkworm, so making a silkworm kaiju plays into a very grand tradition.  Munchy goes for a more morally neutral route than Mothra, though, taking the voracious appetite of a caterpillar and exaggerating it to a proper kaiju scale.  The simplicity of it actually makes for a rather unique kaiju, as Munchy’s single-minded desire to eat as much non-living matter as possible makes it a very different sort of antagonist than the somewhat more complicated kaiju villains of ATOM.  Add to that the massive variety one can find in silkworms and you have a recipe for a very good monster!

(Apologies at the possible inaccuracy of my illustration - google could not find images of the  wakabayashi landrace species of silkworm that he is specified as being, so I had to just look up silkworms and hope I was somewhere in the correct ballpark - and then I missed the detail about his first pair of false legs being long enough to give him a bipedal stance so uh... well I think he’s still pretty cute, that counts for something?)

Sir K brings us the lung/ryu kaiju Yokaigon the Incredible!  Mistaken for a retrosaur by its initial discoverer (we certainly have a lot of scientists in ATOM who are very bad at taxonomy), Yokaigon is capable of affecting the weather like some of the few psychic kaiju in ATOM’s setting, suggesting latent psychic powers on the reptile’s part.  He is also able to absorb electricity and may or may not be able to fly.  Introverted and antisocial by nature, Yokaigon isn’t driven to seek out combat like most other kaiju, and prefers to be left alone.

With a backstory inspired by an absolutely terrible dub of Varan the Unbelievable!, Yokaigon is a fun homage that winks at some of the mythic creatures that existed in ATOM’s universe long before the series takes place - a surviving Loong/Ryu, much as Kraydi is a surviving dragon and Gorgolisk a surviving basilisk.  While Loongs aren’t covered in my Midgaheim Bestiary project, I have done sketches of what they would be like before, and it’s fun to see them mixed with a suitamation look here.  I don’t think a sea monster necessarily needs to make storms to still feel appropriately mythical, but the hydrokinetic ability to summon sea storms is plausible enough in ATOM (I’ve got a Yeti who summons blizzards in roughly the same way, so who am I to judge?).  And people always want more dragons.

@toothlessloveshiccup brings us the prehistoric arthropod Insectra!  Despite appearances, Insectra isn’t actually an insect, but actually a much older arthropod that is more closely related to horseshoe crabs.  Forged in a conflict between natives and an encroaching military force in the South Pacific, Insectra protects the local human civilization of her island home while repelling those who would destroy it.  With EMP blasts in her already powerful arsenal, she is a formidable enemy for anyone, man or kaiju, to face.

Insectra’s design has a great Hanna Barbera bug-monster vibe, the sort of thing you could see going toe to toe with the Herculoids or Space Ghost.  It’s simple in some places, but to the point, with great big spears for hands and wide, stompy feet.  Her motivation as a protector is a great nod to Mothra, while having an even more explicit anti-imperialist bent to it.  A very well rounded entry for the contest!

Shadyserpent brings us the draconic reptile Karax!  Another mythic creature sneaking into the world of ATOM, Karax is a serpentine beast whose vestigial wings allow it to fly (Yamaneon’s ability to defy gravity doing some of its most implausible work yet).  With terrible venom and a better-than-average healing factor, Karax is a deadly opponent, the dragon-like beast is thankfully more focused on collecting shiny objects than waging war against man or kaiju, though his desire to add to his hoard sometimes causes trouble.

See?  I told you people like dragons!  Karax’s design retains the ATOM-approved level of scientific plausibility, with his wings being fairly simple/under-developed compared to the more fantastical dragons of my Midgaheim stories.  He retains the prehistoric monster vibe that other Midgaheim survivors like Gorgolisk and Kraydi have, towing the line enough to fit in with ATOM’s menagerie while still winking at the mythic side of things.  His fondness for shiny objects is both a nice nod to his draconic nature and a fun character quirk that can get him into  the kind of trouble that stories are made of, and the fact that he’s also got more than a few references to the classic giant monster movie Reptilicus is also a plus!  A very good entry.

@titleknown brings us Neuro-Idiom, a brain monster who creates psychedelic mass hallucinations!  Formed from a bunch of aliens fusing their minds together, Neuro-Idiom conjurs other creatures out of thin air with its psychic powers, and has pretty much every other psychic power to boot!

Neuro-Idiom’s primary design, that of a big walking brain creature, fills a monster archetype that hasn’t been present in ATOM thus far - i.e. the big, ambulatory, disembodied brain, and yes, that is a SUPER popular archetype for 1950′s/60′s monster fiction.  Its psychic projections also pay homage to various monsters in fiction that were actually just the manifestations of an unsound mind - the Id monster from Forbidden Planet, the crawling brains of Fiend Without a Face, and the Crackler from Godzilla: The Series are examples of this concept.  The backstory of this monster would need to be reworked since it kind of ignores that “kaiju” in ATOM is a word with a very specific meaning (you can’t have a kaiju without Yamaneon involved), and the monster having amplified versions of EVERY psychic power makes it significantly more powerful than anything in ATOM’s canon, so that might have to be toned down a bit as well, but all in all it’s a lovely brain monster!

@drrockso20 brings us our final entry, the massive bison Chief Wrigley!  With gorilla-like arms and enormous horns, this big bovine has the muscle he needs to protect his herd and territory from any creature that dares to challenge it!  He’s not all brawn, either, as Chief Wrigley is clever enough to use the environment to his advantage, and even makes use of simple tools from time to time.  He can telepathically communicate with others, and can sometimes generate electric blasts from his horns.

With a very unique design, power set, and personality, Chief Wrigley has the makings of an excellent protagonist/hero kaiju, the kind who could headline his own corner of ATOM’s kaiju-verse.  Bison are a really underused basis for a kaiju, too - they have very unique heads, and their bodies are build in a way that’s very good at conveying mass.  With just enough special powers to make combat scenes interesting, but not so many that he feels out of place in ATOM’s world, Chief Wrigley is a strong contender in this contest!

Those are the entries!  Who will be the top three winners, and who will get the grand prize?  You’ll have to wait a bit longer to find out, but for now, let’s appreciate how many wonderful monsters we made here!  In a way, they’re all winners in my book, even if I can’t give prizes to the whole batch!

[venomous--fics]

Pearlie: TYSM for the request! I used Carnage because I am already dying for the next Venom movie so I have been reading up on Carnage.

Relationship: Eddie Brock/Venom x Mutant!Reader

STORY:

Eddie and Venom had been busy all week. It seemed like crime was only increasing, despite the fact Venom ate nearly all the scum they encountered. Luckily for them, the afternoon was fairly decent so they decided to walk around the city, occassionally stopping for drinks or a bite to eat.

"What sounds good for lunch, V?"

"Hmm." Venom thought, "We could stop at that pizza joint you're always talking about."

"We sure could if you'd like. I'm starving."

"You are not alone on that."

"Pizza it is." Eddie smiled, almost putting a skip in his step.

Despite nothing happening, the two were still on high alert, only relaxing a little once the auroma of pizza was wafting through the air. Eddie opened the door to the pizza parlor and quickly found a decent seat next to a window.

Before they knew it, they had ordered seven pizzas, some with bizarre topping combos. The waiter paid no mind and walked off. Eddie tapped his knuckles on the table, squinting as the sun obscured his view.

Just as the duo was about to lower their guard, a police car was flying through the street and people were running in fear. Eddie stood from the table and ran outside to assess the situation.

"Carnage." Venom growled, "What a dick."

"Didn't you make that d- Nevermind." Eddie clapped his hands together, "Let's go fuck shit up my man."

Venom enveloped Eddie and the two were off in an attempt to stop the beast.

---

You had your earbuds in as you walked down the street, towards the pizza place. You called in an order for your ritualistic Friday night in. You hummed to the beat and scrolled through your phone for a better song to listen to.

You had no idea of your surroundings until someone ran past you, and nearly bumped into you. You took and earbud out, "Hey, pal! Watch where you're--"

You slowly turned back from him and saw the city being torn apart. More and more people were running away in absolute panic.

"The hell.."

You stood still, unsure of what do to. What could you do? If you used your powers, there was a fear of being detained.. If you didn't help, then people being hurt would be on you.

Before you could even turn away and act like nothing was wrong, you heard a vicious roar followed by a car alarm.

You turned your head up a little and saw a large black mass flying towards you. Without any time to move, you cowar a bit as the mass flew through you.

You opened your eyes and turned around, seeing a creature getting up off the pavement and shaking it's head, growling as bits of rubble were shook off.

You panicked a little and ran past it and immediately phasing through the nearest wall. The creature had seen it all.

---

After what felt like 2 days, Venom and Eddie were able to subdue the vile Carnage just enough to get him to retreat.

The two were still curious as to what happened earlier with the strange girl and the going through walls.

"We could've been hallucinating from lack of food." Eddie rubbed his face, tired.

"No she was real." Venom snapped, "We do not hallucinate."

"Right. Okay.. But how the hell are we gonna find her in this big city..."

"Perhaps there is still a scent."

"Man, that's weird.. Like kinda creepy weird." Eddie groaned, wanting nothing more than to just get his food and go home.

"We must find the mystery girl, Eddie. Maybe she can help us in combat." Venom grinned rather gleefully.

"We don't really need help, but I do wanna make sure she isn't a threat. Y'know?"

Venom seemed to have agreed and they began their detective work.. As usual.

---

You finally stopped running when you noticed you were in on the the of town. You turned to look at the skyline.

You slipped up and now you'd probably have to move. Again. Maybe change your name? You looked around to make sure you weren't followed.

Nobody knew you had these powers, and that's fine with you. You wanted to be normal. And you knew deep down that if anyone knew they would only use you.

You shrugged off the cool air and started to make the totally normal trek back home. The gears in your head started turning and you got angry. That black slimey thing... What if IT was the bad guy. Maybe you should track it down and fight it. Then again ... It was probably stronger than you.

You slipped your earbuds back in and tried to chill out. It was going to be fine. You were going to make it home, you were going to eat low quality take out food. And life would be as normal as you remembered.

You made it back into the city and despite cooling down a bit, you were still filled with dread that some form of alien creature knows you exist and that you have powers.

You scoffed as you hit the walk signal button, "Haha as if....What? And it's tracked me down? Y/N, don't be ridiculo--"

You felt a puff of hot air on the back of your neck and you stiffened up like a fence post. You slowly turned around, "Well, speak of the devil..."

It was the being from earlier. You took a step back, "H-hey. Get out of my crawl.. M-man??"

"Where are my manners." It said in a low tone, wicked teeth curling into a smile, "We are Venom."

"Edgy." you blurted out. You tough guy persona started to come out as a defense mechanism, "Can you go."

The black ooze began to move, revealing a rather-from what you could see- cute guy. You weren't prepared for that and you jumped back, "What the fu- What the hell?"

"No please!" the man pleaded, "Not gonna hurt you. I'm Eddie Brock. That was my pal Venom. We uh.. I guess we're the good guys."

You eyed him up and down, "I'm Y/N....I guess." And the dots started to click, "Eddie Brock...That reporter guy?"

"Used to be."

"Used to be a fan- Uhm.. So why are you stalking me.."

"Earlier. Venom and I.. We kinda went through you."

"Oh. That was you." You sighed, "Please. I can't talk about it.. I'm terrified of someone finding out. I'm not gonna cause problems.. Just trying to make a living."

"Understandable." Eddie said, "We can talk over pizza. Totally spaced that I ordered like seven of 'em two hours ago."

You weren't sure what to expect. He just shifted the mood and conversation so far.. And you knew he wasn't a bad guy.

He held out his hand, "We swear we aren't gonna try any funny business.. Ot's nice to see another freak on the street."

"Freak?"

"It's a term of endearment to us. You hear it so much that it almost sounds like a compliment."

You looked at his hand, "Alright, Eddie. But you try anything and I'll hurt you."

You reached your hand out and purposefully phased it through his. He was taken aback and you moved past him, "Gotcha."

"Where you goin'?" he asked, turning around.

"Thought you said we'd talk over pizza." you smiled at him, "You coming or what?"

Eddie looked at his hand as he started to follow you. He could hear Venom chuckling, "Eddie. We like her."

Eddie was still looking at his hand, "God that was freaky."

Turning around, you phased your hands through his chest, causing him to jump a little. You moved back, "I'll keep doing it."

"Please don't." Eddie's voice cracked, causing Venom to laugh. Eddie's voice cracked again, "Shut up."

--- (slight timeskip brought to you by my fear of this being too long lmao) --

An alarm went off, causing you to groan and went to slam your fist on it, but in your tired state, your fist went through the table. You groaned even louder and sat up, "Shut up already. We get it...It's morning."

The bedside next to you shifted and Eddie turned over, facing you, "Five more minutes."

You laid back down and shut your eyes, "You said that the first time it went off."

"And I'll say it again." he yawned.

You adjusted your position so you could look at him, "That WAS five minutes ago."

His brows furrowed and he whined, "But I'm tired."

You rolled your eyes and smiled. It's been about nine months since that day they phased through you and then got you pizza as consolation. Everything fell into place after that.

Eddie convinced you that you could use your powers for good, so sometimes you help them during fights. And about 4 months ago, Eddie asked you to move in after your millionth date. He made it seem more like a wedding proposal, however. He just wanted to be with you.

Eddie's hand began snaking over to you, and you decided to make him get up. His hand wound up going through you, and he patted the bed, "Y/N. Babe? You there?"

His hand went through your arm and you laughed, "I'm here. But you gotta get up."

He pulled his hand back and opened his eyes, "You're a jerk."

You sat up and pushed yourself off the mattress, "And you need a shower."

Eddie sighed and rolled out of bed, "Fine."

You went through the bedroom door, but immediately stuck your head back through, "I'll cook some breakfast!"

Eddie slammed himself into the wall and grabbed his chest, "Wouls you stop doing that?! It's still freaky."

"It's been like nine months."

"It looks like I'm talking to a decapitated head.."

You looked at the door and phased your hand through, shaking them like you were doing jazz hands, "Is this better?"

"Wha-Wh-What would you do if one of our friends came in and just part of your body going through a door?" Eddie squeaked.

You were totally unphased by the question and you kept a flat face, "We don't have any friends, Eddie."

"Shower." Eddie half smiled, "I need a shower."

He walked to the bathroom and shut the door behind him.

"I think it is funny." Venom said.

"You also think eating people is funny."

"Their screams amuse me."

"Thank you, V."

Eddie let out a yelp as you were now in the bathroom. You let out a laugh, "I'm sorry. I had to. I'll go make some food."

Eddie nodded as his nerves finally calmed down, "That would be wonderful."

You smiled at him and pulled him into a hug. You stood on your tiptoes and gave him a soft kiss on the lips, "Love you, fraidy cat."

"Love you too, weird..ghost cat."

[ohhicas]

I've only been into comics for a few years, but I've read enough of the old Flash stuff where I adore the classic incarnations of the Rogues. Honestly curious here: what's it like to be a fan of James Jesse back when he was retgonned around 10 years ago and see him brought back but now all mwahaha crazy evil? I'm way more used to Axel (and all that off-panel character development in Nu52, thanks DC) but even I find this kinda weird. Was James ever crazy evil in any arc?

^- me 90% of the time someone says James is coming back to recent media & it’s not a direct continuation of the comics prior to 2004

[ Warning: this is gonna get long and be full of a lot of assumptions. I can never form solid statements and things will get jumbled, because I suck at presenting things ]

[ this is my can of worms hill and you opened it so I’m dYING HERE ]

I mean, back in the earliest ages, no Rogue had a real personality to speak of? They were just “1960s Bad Guy in a different outfit” at the very start, with quirks! Like James having a thing for toys and nuclear powered flying tricycles. It wasn’t until that era ended that they started getting real distinct and into what a lot of ‘classic’ James fans loved and appreciated? 

(I think at least, I’m just One Person here pretending like I even understand HALF of what the ‘classic’ fandom enjoyed. I’m wildly speculating just going off what fanworks I’ve seen produced.)

(I don’t have all my scans anymore but I’ll toss in scans when I have them)

But that’s when we started getting things like James actually having specified friendships with certain people

or clear distaste towards others, and when you could tell he was more of a wild card than the others. Or when he decided to fuck off and hang out in Hollywood with Blue Devil for a bit, even siding with Kid Devil to deck out Captain Boomerang. 

Or when he decided to fuck off to Gotham, to mess with Catwoman by pretending he didn’t know who she was, but absolutely knew who she was because of how she walked and carried herself, but James being James was like “mmmmm long con, nope”

hey lil Cold, gimme all ur guns and don’t question why I’m in drag xoxo

Even then, he wasn’t shown to be vicious yet! He’d hopped around various places, was still considered A Rogue, A Criminal, and as far as any comic reader could tell by trying to count up how many civilians may have been crossfired at, he had no On Purpose deaths racked? Like, the only thing you could really argue was he may have made someone drive their car off a cliff once, but I’m like 98% sure they’re fine. He’s not a murderer, he’s just here for a laugh and a long-con for funsies because he know he can get away with it!

AND THEN WE GET A LITTLE OLDER, LITTLE DARKER

[ I’M PUTTING A CUT HERE CAUSE AFTER I THREW IT INTO DRAFTS, I REALIZED I GOT REALLY LONG, I’M SORRY IF MY LAYOUT SUCKS ASS FOR THIS. ]

little more 90s Hair. Little more 90s stereotypical “But what if EVERYONE WENT TO HELL” demon plots against Satanic Hockey Hair Neron. And James? still wasn’t evil? He was a little dismissive when everyone ELSE died sure but he still in the end turned around like “nghgng I’m THE ONLY ONE”, purposely got his ass down there, regretted it, and then beat Neron at his own game to save the entire fucking world. Because! He could! And he did it so well. STILL NOT EVIL, even when he had a chance right then and there to take over everything alongside Neron should he so desire. Like, two words, maybe some under the table BJs depending on how you feel about that pairing (I don’t), and bam. He would’ve bested nearly any other villain in the DCU save like, Satan himself. Or i guess one of those world destroyers. But we’ll get back around to those BOY HOWDY WE WILL GET AROUND TO THOSE. 

So James! Saves! The world! Sorta! Later they fight Neron again and his kid he somehow had somewhere down the road (it sounds like I’m complaining, i’m not, I love Billy and Mindy both I just wish they showed up like… ever again?) and he sTILL SAVES EVERYONE. 

Piper helps by their 90s ponytails combined. 

Somewhere around here, because dates and timing aren’t my strong suit, he also goes and messes with Bart for a bit. It’s pretty much a Spy Vs Spy episode, but with less bloodshed. 

ANYWAY IT’S AFTER THIS POINT THAT THINGS GET… where I think the majority of “James is a Low Rate Joker” comes from? 

For some unknown goddamn reason, in between issues (James wasn’t a Super Frequent Rogue? He’d show up, sure, but in the huge run of the series he’d just kind of vanish for 20 issues at a time and you’d go “welp, guess he’s still alive”) James went super-cop? like, the FBI? For some reason? Hired James “I am a probably still wanted felon, a man who has escaped jail numerous times, probably never served a full sentence, known Trickster and liar” Jesse. to the FBI. And for so many issues it’s like he legit just. Did this. He threatens to shoot Piper who he was up until this very moment, considerably very close friends with (as far as comics would show Rogue/Rogue friendships), unwilling to help his friend clearly framed for murder of his parents and losing his mind by the day. Despite James talking Hart down a little on the whole ‘THE MAYOR IS ROSCOE ADN NOBODY BELIEVES MEEEEEEEE” thing. 

Also he steals Digger’s dead ass corpse? 

FBI James is a fucking enigma. Here he is standing up for Gay Rights even though Piper is like “mm maybe I should forgive my abuser??”

BUT. AFTER THIS? WE GET COUNTDOWN WHICH IS JUST. Countdown is. IT’s a problem. James’s personality is IMMEDIATELY HORRIBLY u-turned into “well we need SOMEONE to be the Bad Guy to Piper’s Good!” DESPITE. ALL THESE YEARS OF COMICS.This is the shit you’ll see people who don’t know better or just want a reason to hate the Trickster (despite being 100% okay for them to just say he’s annoying/they don’t like his tights/acrobats are stupid) reference. James is, suddenly, very abruptly, a homophobe. Like an “ew don’t touch me” level homophobe because I’m pretty sure DC snorts cocaine and threw a dart at a board for “how could they make these two fight” and landed on GAY RIGHTS IS TRENDING. 

BUTSTILL IN THE FUCKING END OF ALL OF THIS?After so many issues of James being a complete fuckass prick? 

springboards himself from his current job of being railroad face putty to catching bullets to make sure Piper wasn’t gonna die. Without knowing the proceedings of this entire plotline, James out of nowhere after so much gaybashing, still finds it in him to leap into the path of multiple bullets and save Piper. Because, yknow, he’s evil!

Later it’s shown he’s been working to take everyone down (y’know, like when he was in the FBI) and left Piper specific helpful notes to do it himself. Because Evil Bad Guy! Helping his gone-good friend! Take down bad guys! 

DC I STILL HAVE SO MANY GODDMAN QUESTOINgsd

But yeah that’s. That’s where we last saw James. in 2007, dead, after saving Piper when he could have easily pulled a Joker and ripped HIM down to take hte bullets and etcetc, y’know. Something a Very Bad Person would’ve done, like the characterization we’ve seen now. 

His ghost (easily argued as Piper’s own mental construction of James sassing him) sasses Hartley to even, in his mental state, saw off James’s hand so Piper doesn’t have to lug his weight around and has a fighting chance at living. And in the end, when Piper’s fighting the thing that can destroy the fucking world, it’s shown only Piper was the one who could save them? Because his flute, and his musical ability, and [enter DC comic science here]. You could argue this was James, once again, somehow knowing the long-con at play here, getting screwed over at EVERY turn, and sacrificing himself so they ‘good’ team had a fighting chance.You could also argue this is me losing my mind trying to make sense of the things they made James do. (my running argument is he was purposely a prick to push Piper away, so he could keep him safe) 

Also Piper plays James a Swan Song of Queen as the final boss explodes and he’s fully prepared to die. So like. There’s that. 

AND THATS BASICALLY THE COMICS? The main, ‘canon timeline’ comics. I’m missing a LOT of little things here and there, but I’m not missing anything like body counts, or murder attempts, beyond the old Silver Age “Bad guy of the week” things like trying to make Flash’s head explode, or you know. Other “nobody really has a personality, we just have quirks”. 

MY NUMBER ONE GUESS TO WHERE THIS NEW PERSONALITY TREND COMES FROM?

Mark Hamil|’s OG run as him in the old live action show. That characterization was fun, for the time, and I even enjoyed it cause it was just that off the wall and you could tell it was what they used to decide he should be the Joker for the BATS Joker. Consider it a prototype (combined with all the previous comic jokers but that’s not for this long ass post) 

And if it’d stayed there, that’d be it! That’s it! But then JLU came along, and they referenced the old show for their version of James with a sprinkling of early-era comics, and a lot of people loved and watched that show. That was their version of the Trickster, because it was their first meeting with him! And I can’t fault that! But that guy was clearly off his rocker and I’m sure if the JLU allowed a higher rating, it would’ve been even closer to the old TV show. 

And both of THOSE were heavily, heavily referenced for the CW version, which as I’m at this point now means I need to slap my usual anti-CW tag onto things. I hate the CW James. There is so little comic in him it’s almost disgusting, and they ramped up so much of the Joker side of JLU & OGTV he might as well just be the Joker. It’s not a good representation of him at all. I have, also, only seen his first appearance episode, so maybe I’m wrong? But when you fuck up hard on the first run, why would I return for round 2? 

So with ALL THIS– 

REBOOT TIME. Whatever the newnew remake is calling itself. 

At first! With how James was! In the first panel flash of him clearly behind the scenes tugging so many wires and lines, watching everything with a bucket of popcorn while pulling others to his side, sitting pretty in an old museum? warehouse? highlighted in purples and vintage toys, I was like “holy shit this it. This is My Boy, back from the goddamn limbo-dead. It’s him.” But then“taking over the city entirely” to do? What? Turn it into the world’s biggest Trickster themepark? Make everyone wear striped leggings and combat boots? Martial Law of murder if you don’t carry rubber chickens? This is already veering from anything major James has ever done. As it stands I can’t see the gag here. Its’ weirdly dark and edgy, and way too close to something we saw the 90s TV show Trickster do, in the episode where he basically took over the place. The previews show him being what I’m assuming a Judge, Jury, & Executioner joke– and unless this spins into a Clopin song and dance number and his little hand puppet crops up to slam the button on the guillotine, I’m not having it, DC. 

They’re trying to tie him back into the CW, despite the writer saying he really enjoyed the Neron-era things with James (if I’m remembering the interview correctly). And it’s also why you may see me constantly saying “Well I sure as fuck hope Neron shows up” at anything new that’s released, to explain away all of… this.

This isn’t him. If they wanted a murderous Trickster, they should’ve just used Axel. The kid, canonly, tied explosives to stray dogs and homeless people. AXEL is the not-good Trickster, the murderous Trickster, the one you aren’t suppose to feel sorry for beyond being in way over his head due to his young age. 

i think I somehow didn’t answer your question

TL;DR

it sucks? it’s also great because there’s a .5% chance that maybe they’ll do it right and won’t reference the fucking 90s noncomic media. But then they do. And all I can do is laugh and shrug like ‘welp I expected nothing’. But when they get it RIGHT it’s like christmas came early.

[pepeangogoan]

Thoughts on Patch 4.3′s Main Story Quests *SPOILERS AHEAD*

Hey it’s been a while! Not just since I’ve done one of these but since I’ve posted anything on this blog in general. Reason for that is largely due to my real life job and having gone on a trip to Germany with a friend recently. It’s been hard to do ANYTHING FFXIV related. But I plan to fix that now by discussing the new MSQs in Patch 4.3. But before we begin:

Behold Pepean’s new look for Patch 4.3! He’s going for something a little bit different this time.

Anyway, as always MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD! DON’T READ ON IF YOU HAVEN’T DONE THE MAIN STORY QUESTS UP TO THIS POINT! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

Anyway, woo boy have things been an emotional roller-coaster with the story lately. People losing their memories, people who seemed nice turning out to be psychopaths... Though in Final Fantasy XIV that’s just another day at the office I guess. Well, let’s start with the Elephant in the room.

Tsuyu... Dear sweet Tsuyu... I call you that because I want to believe that part of you still existed in there somewhere. Beneath all the anger and hatred... I believe truly what was in your heart was a frightened little girl... I can’t begin to say I forgive you for your crimes as Yotsuyu... but know that... when you were Tsuyu... I loved you. I wished you could stay like that forever... to find a life of peace and innocence away from the the pain this war has brought on you... I hoped that some day I could wear your panties on my face... Wow I REALLY have issues don’t I?! In any case... sadly it was just not meant to be...

I suppose it made sense though from a story standpoint. She was going to HAVE to face punishment for her crimes as Yotsuyu eventually and bring resolution to all we learned about her backstory. Thinking about it, having her “Have amnesia and starting anew” would probably have been quite an anticlimactic conclusion for such a complicated character’s story. Even though part of me hoped she and Gosetsu would start a life as father and daughter together, this was probably the better outcome.

When you think about it... could she really HAVE a peaceful life? It’s brought up when she stumbles into the nearby village. Even with her memories gone... even if she had started life as a Doman citizen... the pain that she caused as Yotsuyu would still have been there. The people likely wouldn’t have forgiven her and she’d have to spend her entire life scorned for something she can’t even remember. Heck, if you want to look at the long term effects, that could then cause psychological damage to her child-like mind... and then we’d be right back at square one. It’s a vicious circle, and I think that’s what Square wanted to show with this scene when you peel back the layers.

Though I will admit: When she regained her memory and went back to her old self I did say to myself “Oh no... the bitch is back!”

But let’s move on to talking about another character that needs addressing:

To me this seemed like the perfect conclusion to Gosetsu’s story. While I think we’ll likely see him again in the future, probably to warn us about an oncoming threat, this felt like it closed the book on his character development. I REALLY liked how his relationship with Tsuyu was handled, particularly with his reaction to her death. He hated Yotsuyu as much as anybody... but when he saw that she truly had lost her memory and become nothing more than a scared lost girl he truly began to care for her. Got to feel sorry for the guy... he’s lost not one but two daughters in his life... His reaction upon seeing her dead body showed that he HAD truly grown to love her as if she were his own daughter. It’s with this act of forgiveness, this act of chivalry that we see that he is a noble and true Samurai through and through. Even her final words about him showed that there was still a part of her that loved him as well. Maybe because he was the first person to ever show her true kindness and love. The fact that a spiritual manifestation of him appears as a guardian during her boss fight speaks volumes about their relationship. At least to me it does. Farewell Gosetsu. May our paths cross again someday.

Alright, you want me to talk about HIM don’t you?

Asahi... this little bastard... this little psychotic prick... Now, I can see many people saying he was wasted potential... and to be perfectly honest... I don’t disagree... They really built him up as if he was going to be a bigger deal than he was. Don’t get me wrong, he was a MAJOR player in the plot while he was in it but... the fact that he meets his end without so much as a boss battle with him... was a bit of a letdown. I like that it was Yotsuyu that took him down ultimately but... at least let us have a swing at him first!

They seemed to be building to a bit confrontation with him with the big revelation that he was Zeno’s disciple all along and his hatred towards our characters for defeating him but in the end... he’s just abruptly killed...

Still, to give him credit: In EVERY single scene with him in during this patch I found myself saying “You bastard... you absolutely bastard!” Just because his end came a bit suddenly doesn’t mean he wasn’t well written while he WAS around. He was a cold-hearted psychopath through and through. He showed how blind obsession and loyalty can be toxic to a person and cloud your logic... something I’m more familiar with than I’d care to admit... For the brief time he was around he was a delightful villain. Just SO horrid and cruel. With every trick he pulled I wished all the more that we could wipe that cold, smug grind off of his face!

So, the idea that Zenos is possessed by an Ascian. Given his dialogue here and his sudden obsession with summoning I think that is likely the answer to how a man can be alive after STABBING HIMSELF. As Thancred says, we’ve seen their powers of possession before with him, so why not with the dead? The most obvious answer to this new Zenos’s identity is Elidibus... but for now it’s best to just wait and see because you never can tell with Square. Still, possession doesn’t quite explain how this body can walk around despite having a huge hole in its neck but... the answer is likely “magic”.

Though this may be somebody else walking around in Zenos’s skin...

... THIS is a very Zenos thing to say! We’ve seen this kind of thing happen before as well WAY back in A Realm Reborn when a Sahagin priest transferred his life into another body when summoning Leviathan. So it’s not that far-fetched to imagine that Zenos’s spirit still lives in another body... the question is: HOW?! YOU STABBED YOURSELF IN THE NECK! HOW IS YOUR SPIRIT STILL AROUND ON THIS PLANE?! All questions to be answered in time I suppose... Are we going to get a Zenos VS Zenos confrontation in the future? Body VS Soul?! This is getting trippy...

Finally one last thing I want to talk about:

... Did... did was just play as Alphinaud?! Did we just play as somebody OTHER than our characters in a battle?! I know we’ve been glamoured to look like other characters before... but this is the first time we’ve ever PLAYED as a NPC in this game... at least as far as I can remember! Don’t really know what this means for the future... probably nothing, but it was still cool while it lasted. I particularly love the “Roleplaying” status effect you have during this moment. A really nice meta joke there Square. Brief and easy though it may have been, this was still an interesting moment.

So THIS dude is the biggest thing to take out of this sequence. I have a few theories who he MIGHT be but that’s all they are at this point: theories. I’m likely wrong as well so we’ll just have to wait and see what his deal is. But it’s clear that he’s going to play a pivotal role in the plot moving forward... especially considering all the Ascian masks he’s carrying... What was his name again?

Shadowhunter?!

Let’s not make assumptions about this guy for now. All we know is that he’s Garlean though not part of the Empire, he knows the Scions, and he has a hatred of the Ascians.

Anyway, those are my thoughts on all the major goings on at the moment. As always if I missed anything out please feel free to ask me about it. Let me know what you thought of Patch 4.3′s MSQs and developments. It’s been a lot of fun doing this again and hopefully I’ll have more stuff as both Pepean and Teral coming in the future.

[sussex-nature-lover]

Tuesday 29th December 2020

My Bird List Again. Parts 3 & 4

♦ outside links are indicated by bold type - none are affiliated to this blog

Guest Photograph - Two Jays out of the window in South London. I’m assured there were four but as is the way, two took off. Photo Credit: Ms NW tE

♦ Faces in Things. Now I’ve circled the Jays I can see a cartoon character with unruly hair. First thought was a cheeky Ostrich’s head, but Crow thinks he can see a cute Badger. Now I can see both.

Brought Forward 24 species

Yesterday I listed the every day birds in our garden and those we can guarantee to see most days, definitely every week, plus the new spots for this year. Next up is 

GARDEN REGULARS:

These are the birds we see frequently but not necessarily every day or this time of year

Song Thrush

If you followed my Blog earlier in the year you’ll recall the calamitous tale of ‘Tracey’ who tried to nest in our porch, firstly on the top of - and with some gentle encouragement, later inside - the open fronted nest box. We called her Tracey after the artist best known for her ‘messy bed’ Sadly the nest came to nothing except a very watchable experience, but we have seen youngsters who if not from Tracy, someone else got it right this year.

Song Thrush are seen here most weeks but we can’t depend on it being so. What I could depend on through early Spring was that one had taken over from the Blackbird and was giving me wakeup calls from the very early hours. It’s annoying to be disturbed so early, but also kind of comforting to have your regulars out there making their presence known.

Wren

Strangely for such a cute little bird I don’t have anything much to say, certainly no personal stories. They’re around, but very low key. I know them best for their upturned tail and unfeasibly loud voice. Sorry no photo, must rectify that, this one’s from the WildlifeTrusts.org site

Stock Dove

Of all the birds I’ve ever seen the Stock Dove is the biggest revelation to me. Until I had my eyes replaced I thought they were plain monotone grey birds. When I could see properly WOW WOW WOW. They have so many tones, they’re so beautiful and the pink, emerald-jade and purple hues are outstanding when they catch the sunshine. This realisation is one of the most incredible sights of my life and both that initial memory and every new viewing always will be.

Collared Dove

One of the above is not a Collared Dove - nope, not buying it even if you have got your best collar on mate

To be fair, I almost put the Stock and Collared Doves in the every day/reliable category, but on balance I don’t think they’re quite there at this time of year. We do see them most days and the charming Collared ones always come in pairs - just like me and Crow.

Green Woodpecker

My ant-eaters. Not seen on the same basis as the Great Spotteds but they live here and breed successfully. Quite stately birds with beautiful plumage I love to see the brief flash of yellow underwing as they whizz through the garden and to hear their laughing ‘yaffle’ 

Similar to GSWs you can tell the sex by the red or plain black colouring. In the Greens it’s on the ‘moustache’ area - see male above with red: females have black. On the GSs it’s plain black heads for females and a red patch at the nape of the neck for males.

Magpie

Comical birds. We seem to have less here than we did. The most I’ve ever seen was a huge flock on the Common in Tunbridge Wells. It’s called the Common but it has the main road going through it and where I saw them was no more than a large patch of grass and trees. The other side is more typical common land, steep and heath-like.

One year we were highly entertained by garden resident DJ (after DJ Spoony) so called as he created a cache of goodies gathered from around the garden much like a Bower Bird decorates its nest. DJ just kept his treasures amongst the leaves at the base of the palm and included a plastic spoon that we used to put out cat food for the hedgehogs...it took us a while to locate.

Common Buzzard

This photo is from the field now known as Babs’ Field directly across the lane from our house. It’s a big field so this is a very long zoom. We saw a huge Buzzard down the lane just yesterday actually. A lot of sightings recently.

Goldfinch

A standing joke in our house - so, so hard for me to capture a picture of them they tormented me and then all of a sudden this Summer they started coming into the garden more and I got photos on fences, verges and wires down the lane too.

Pied Wagtail

Has bred in the porch nest box years ago, had two successful broods. We watched them fledge down on to the log pile. Favourite nestling was The Bunter - guess why? Maybe that was the one who grew up to be The Inspector patrolling the seed and shooing everyone away just because he could.

Grey Wagtail

Usually flies in for a very quick drink and off again, or perches on the corner of the roof by our bedroom briefly.

Sparrowhawk

Nicknamed for both sexes is Sid (Vicious after the punk rock singer)

These two are males. We know their favourite places in the garden. On the fence between us and next door with an eye line to the feeders; on the posts around the decking, perched on a spade or on the bird bath.

Female below.

Total 11

INFREQUENT VISITORS:

Swallow 

All around the local area, once very welcome guests and residents in our front porch.

I also once found one in Ms NW tE’s bedroom and had absolutely no idea how it could’ve got there. This was long before the nesting. I assume it must’ve found a way under the eaves where there’s a fitted wardrobe built in. It wasn’t panicking at all.

Swift 

Sorry no picture, too high overhead. This one below courtesy of the Wildlife Trust site. Along with Swallows and Housemartins a lovely sign of Summer.

Greenfinch

 A very welcome returner this year and they bred, which is brilliant news

Juvenile

Bullfinch 

Sadly not seen any at all this year, which is unusual. Doesn’t mean they haven’t been and we’ve missed them though

Mistle Thrush

We have seen them, but no photos as yet. 

I can’t tell the difference between a Song and Mistle Thrush, I ask for an expert ID. The RSPB says Mistle Thrush are

Medium-sized birds, they’re our largest thrush Chunky and pot-bellied Tawny brown and grey backs with a creamy white speckled front Whiteish cheeks Bold and bullish

and their song is somewhere between Song Thrush and Blackbird. That said we seem to have some Song Thrush here whose songs have evolved (as they do) This might help, although I think in real life it’s less clear cut. I obviously need more practice. 

Jay

The Jay is so shy and has a fairly comical looking face. They live in the woods but we rarely see them in the garden and any photo is snatched very hurriedly, hence the quality of this one. They don’t need to come into the garden though as the woods are full of Oak trees and so their favourite food supply and places to cache it, is right there for them.

Kestrel

Usually seen up at the farm where we saw her a lot with her babies, this mother of two came into our garden in the Summer.

Common Gull

Rather unclear it was very low light inside the kitchen and this was grabbed with my phone. The last few days we have seen hundreds of Gulls: they’ve come inland to the fields due to the inclement weather I guess.

Nightingale 

Definitely heard and confirmed by our neighbour and the local farmer, however, I can’t hand on heart say I’ve spotted them by eye. I think they should be included here though as we more than likely have seen them as well as heard them. I know where they hang out for sure and it’s steps away (see below) The problem for me is that they’re quite insignificant looking if you’re not primed to spot one.

Photo credit Bird Guides on line

9

ONE OFFS IN THE GARDEN:

Mallard

 Two males and a female decided to reside in our garden one summer. We called them Max, Paddy and Holy Mary - a Phoenix Nights reference from the TV series.

Heron 

Occasionally seen overhead, has investigated our garden pond. Not that we’ve got any fish, which is why it probably hasn’t been back. We see them fly by sometimes and definitely up at the ponds. When the one was in our garden I was struck by its size and prehistoric look, of course they look much bigger in a domestic garden than when you see them in a wider setting.

Below is my own photo of a Heron, but at Richmond, not at our pond.

Turtle Dove

2006 was a good year. We had the Ducks and a few sightings of the Dove. I think it stopped by the following year too but can’t be absolutely sure.

Yellowhammer 2014

Just the once on the patio right in front of us, it was quite a surprise.

This is not actually my photo, which is mislaid for now. It’s generic so can’t attribute it.

Woodcock 2019

The Woodcock was a complete shock. I spotted something out of the side window and because of the colouring thought it was a strange female Pheasant, until I saw its bill. Wooaaah! 

5

ONE OFFS IN THE AREA:

Kingfisher down at the bridge

Mixed flock of Geese including White and Grey Lag - in Babs the Buzzard’s field

2

Sub Category just out of interest and not counted

REPORTED BY MY NEIGHBOUR:

Visual of a Cuckoo, which we’ve only heard and not seen for sure. We possibly saw one at the farm, but didn’t confirm for certain.

Goldcrest. I’m jealous

 + 2

REGULARS AT THE FARM:

Little Owl

White Dove

Coot

Moorhen

Canada Goose

Various Ducks such as Grebe, not including Mallard mentioned above

6+

TOTAL = 57+  species spotted at home and 2 others on the one off list seen adjacent to our garden.

Plus Tawny Owl, heard frequently but can’t promise to have a sighting as yet.

Decoration from the Christmas Trees in Standen Courtyard

a lovely hand stitched heart with wild flowers. Let’s hope the Roadside Verges campaign and sensible strimming season grows stronger next year.

Christmas Music of Choice is the Piano Guys

with a very clever Christmas medley and visuals

[amonoff]

Ah, memories

My first contribution to Ninjago and first writing in awhile, so...it’s stale, I’ll admit. I’ll probably work on other things to practice.

Slightly different events with the movie!Garmadon family just before Koko left.

“And that’s when the super wimpy, super pathetic, skeleton general appeared atop the mountain! He said some mumbo jumbo about beating us…the pathetic worm, am I right, Luh-Lloyd?” Garmadon cooed, rubbing the hand puppet version of himself on Lloyd’s face. Lloyd squealed with joy, right arm raising up to try and grab it. Garmadon grinned making little baby noises as he booped his son’s nose with the puppet.

“Absolutely! Anyway, back to my story,” Garmadon raised the puppet of himself and the skeleton general high for him to see. “Now see here, Luh-Lloyd the first important thing about being evil is breaking the rules. Like y’know how heroes actually let their enemy finish their speech? Well, obviously bad guys don’t do that!”

He threw his puppet self over to the general, smacking it around and using fingers in the arm sleeves to punch the general. Lloyd giggled, cheering at his father. “I fought and kicked him halfway in! Even stole his sword to beat him with it, and then I punched him with my four arms! You should’ve been born then, Luh-Lloyd. It looked cool-”

Garmadon made to show himself strangle the general when he heard the soft creak of the door behind him. He turned and of course there was the most beautiful, bravest, most accomplished woman in all of Ninjago; his wife. Just looking at her as she took off her helmet made him feel weak. He got up from the floor, taking Lloyd into his arms and brought him to his mother. Lloyd immediately let out a small, excited cry for her. It made Misako smiled. She walked over with open arms to take her son while Garmadon kissed her.

“Welcome home, Koko. I trust everything went smoothly on your side with dealing with the rebels?”

“Of course, Garmy. They were just a few small, disorganized groups. No big threats.”

“Excellent. Now everything will be set!” Garmadon walked over to the room window, looking through the glass and out to the glowing city, sitting just beyond the coast of his volcano. His smile was the brightest it had been in awhile. He didn’t notice the sudden falter of his wife’s gaze at him, or how her arms shook as she carried their child, who had gone quiet.

She walked over beside the freakishly tall man. “Garmy, I’ve been meaning to ask, what’s all this for, exactly? The towns we’ve captured are hardly rich with money or resources. I don’t see them becoming very big in the future.”

“Hmm? Ah, well…” Garmadon thought for a tentative moment, actually hesitating for a moment before he felt Misako brush her hand over his face. He looked down to see her and Lloyd.

“C’mon, Garmy. You can’t have me running your army around without knowing why any longer.” Then she bobbed Lloyd up and down a little to get a cute cry from him.

Looking at the two...any doubt cleared. They were already so close anyway.

“Oh, alright. I wanted it to be surprise, but I don’t know what might happen. You should know.” He takes Lloyd from his wife using his bottom two arms, and the opens the windows for a full, unobstructed view on Ninjago with his upper arms. He brings Lloyd up to better see the brimming city. “Koko, I’m going to conquer Ninjago City!”

“W-What?” Misako asks, a lot quieter now. Garmadon looks at her with concern sees her wide eyes and hanging lips. Yes, of course she would be surprised and concerned. He immediately goes over to her and lays his hand on her shoulder to assure her. “I know it sounds crazy, Koko. But I’ve thought my plan through!”

“That’s what many before you said too, Garmy.” Misako sighed, lifting her hand as she softly held husband’s hand. “Though there’re only five elemental ninjas guarding the city, they’re all powerful. Masters of combat, and the elements of fire, water, earth, lightning, and ice. And your brother Wu is among them.”

At that, Garmadon frowned, mostly in annoyance at the mention of his annoying little brother. He let go of his wife and crossed his arms behind him as he turned back to the city, staring with a narrowed eyes now. “I know. That is why I’ve placed spies in the city. To watch the Ninjas’ activities and Wu. They recently told that my brother will set off on a trip soon in five days. When he is gone, that is when I plan to strike.”

“So you’ll fight the Ninjas in the assault?”

Garmadon shakes his head. “No. I plan on sending my army as a diversion. I will set off in secret alone on a small air vehicle to top of the Ninjago Tower and set my flag on top. Once it’s planted, I will be Ninjago’s official conqueror.”

Misako looked at him in shock. It was understandable since such a tactic wasn’t very glorious or epic one. Garmadon hated it, but it had the best chance of granting him victory. No one would expect it, especially the Ninjas. He was sure Misako understood this too when he saw her nod quietly “Garmy, why do you want to conquer Ninjago? Aren’t the other cities we’ve already conquered enough?”

“Ninjago isn’t for us, Koko.” Garmadon explained, then turning down to little Lloyd, who still had his eyes on what probably was strange bright light of different colors, very much unlike torches that lit up Garmadon’s castle. “I want to conquer it for Luh-Lloyd.”

“Lloyd?”

“Yes. Luh-Lloyd is weak, puny…bald. And can’t even walk. Just hiding my face makes him cry.” Garmadon sighed. He shook his head to get those thoughts out and back on his point. “But someday, eventually, he’ll learn how to walk and talk. Hopefully when he finally grows his hair. And when that time comes, I want to pass to him an empire.”

“And the towns and cities we’ve already conquered aren’t enough?”

“No, that’s not it, Koko. They’re okay, but like you said, none of them will be very big in the future. Ninjago, though, is vibrant, brimming with life, and filled with strong warriors, just like our son. That place has a far more prosperous future compared to that. It’s the only fitting place for our son to rule.”

“But...he’s still only just a baby, Garmy. Don’t you think this is too fast?”

“Nonsense! I had to start learning Spinjitsu since the day I was born! And besides, Luh-Lloyd is already making great strides to becoming a great ruler! Look!” He brought Lloyd up closer to his face and cleared his throat, as loud as he could manage to get his attention. Of course, Lloyd turned up, making small sound.

“WAHAHAHA!” he bellowed. It was a generic evil laugh, he had to admit, but then he heard his son giggle excitedly and then-

“Wahahaha!” he squeaked, mimicking his laugh albeit maybe laughing too quickly. Still, an evil laugh was an evil laugh!

“See, Koko! Maybe it’s not maniacal yet but in a few years, it will be dripping with pure evil! He will be the most vicious, dangerous, and feared evil ruler of Ninjago.” He explained gleefully, and he laughed a little at the thought. His son growing up to become just like him and his mother.

But as he looked to his wife for a smile or at least some sign that she was reassured of Lloyd’s capability, she only looked...lost. He lips still hung a little and her eyes remained only Lloyd. There was depth to it he hadn’t seen before. Usually there was a fire in his wife’s eyes. It burned bright when she was happy, and exploded when infuriated. In them now, he saw nothing.

“Koko?” He asked, and suddenly she jolted in surprise.

“S-Sorry. I guess I was lost in thought.” she apologized. She never apologized.

“Misako, are you feeling alright? You’ve been strangely these past few days as well.” Garmadon inquired, remembering how less energetic she had been of late, or how she took less glory at the face of felled foes amidst combat. He had always chalked it up to post-pregnancy, but now he worried it was something else. All the same, Misako smiled at him and placed her hand on his shoulders.

“I’m fine, Garmy. I guess…” she stared at Lloyd again, who looked at his mother confused, wondering why she looked so sad. She wrapped her arms around him and carried him off Garmadon’s hands. “I guess I’m just worried about Lloyd. If he can really do it, y’know?”

At that, Garmadon smiled widely. “Of course he can, Koko! He is our child, after all! He will grow up a strong, proud, accomplished warrior like you. And take my handsomeness and leadership!” He gave his wife another kiss to the cheek, earning from her a small laugh.

“I suppose you’re right.” she said to him, smiling a little now. “Anyway, it’s getting late. It’s Lloyd’s sleeping time.”

“Wait, already?!” Garmadon turned behind him and indeed, the time was now close to nine. “Aw man! Can’t he stay up a bit longer? I was telling him about our battle with the skeleton general!”

“No, Garmy. He needs his sleep.” Misako chuckled, leaving to get Lloyd’s formula. Garmadon groaned, but he conceded to his boy getting stronger.

“Well, that only gives me more time to prepare all the stuff for a grander tale. I’m gonna go to our room and prepare it all. Oh, and work! Yes, work!”

Garmadon hastily collected the puppets, with exception to two, of course. The puppets of himself and Koko. Those he placed in Lloyd’s crib.

“I’ll see you later, Koko.” He bidded. 
“Bye, Garmy.” she said. Just before he could leave, he heard her continue. “And I love you.”

It sounded different. Heavier, if he could put it. He turned to his wife to see her beginning to bottle feed Lloyd, still smiling. He pushed the thought away. “I love you too, Koko.”

Garmadon stared at the photos spread on the wall, all hung in an orderly fashion. Despite all the dust, they were in a clean state almost untouched from the centuries that passed. He supposed they must’ve been handled with care before...the owners passed.

Lloyd stood by his side, no longer an infant but now a grown young man of sixteen years. He stayed quiet as he listened to his father’s story. Garmadon imagined how hard it must be to believe every word. That there was a time where the three lived together, and were blissfully happy.

“That was the last time I saw your mother.” Garmadon finally continued after his brief pause, sighing a little as he focused on the photo with him, Misako, and baby Lloyd. “It wasn’t until midnight that I grew worried. She never stayed up late. I went to your room to see if she was still there, but there was only a note in your crib. She left and took you with her to Ninjago. She wanted you to have a normal life.”

Garmadon paused again, getting lost once more in his memories. The day he met Misako, every battle together, the day Lloyd was born, the day they named him. “...I could’ve changed.” he whispered quietly, as if it was to himself.

“What…?” Lloyd asked.

“I could’ve changed, Luh-Lloyd. Become a better man for Koko. But I didn’t, and lost you both.”

Silence filled the room. Garmadon’s story was finished and now...it was actually getting kind of awkward. He looked around for the other ninjas to say something but he realised that it was only him and Lloyd in the room.

“Uh, Dad?” Lloyd asked, turning to his dad. “Did...mom take anything with her when she left? I mean, aside from me. Like, a toy or something?”

“Hm, I don’t really know.” Garmadon admitted, stroking his helmet as he tried to recall. “I became so focused with conquering Ninjago after that that I never went back to your room for months. By then, it was cleaned up.”



“Oh. Um, coz... I think-”

“I THINK I FOUND IT!!” Jay suddenly screamed from wherever he was, causing the to jump a little in surprise.

“W-Where, Jay?!” Lloyd yelled.

“In the hall, over here!” Jay yelled back, a little excited. “C’mon!”

“All right, we’re coming!” Kai said, suddenly coming out of the kitchen to follow where he thought he heard Jay. Nya, Cole, and Zane began to run in to go to wherever Jay was too. Seeing this, Lloyd and his father followed, deciding to put the conversation off till later.

It was a memory from a long time back, so most of what he could recall was hazy. He hadn’t remembered what happened that day, but he remembered being upset and crying about it in his room. He had his head stuffed under a pillow so no one would see when he heard someone call him.

“Luh-Lloyd~? Hey, are you okay, Luh-Lloyd~?” It was a low but whimsical voice. Lloyd couldn’t help but poke his head out to see who it was.

It was his mom, with the black samurai puppet on her hand.

“Hey there, Luh-Lloyd! Tell me what’s wrong!” the samurai asked, still with the goofy voice. Lloyd wiped away the tears, not wanting his mom to see them.

“N-Nothing’s wrong!”

“Aw, are you sure?” the samurai tilted sideways. “Well, then I suppose you don’t want ice cream?”

Lloyd perked up. “No, I want ice cream!!”

His mom laughed, then bringing up a full-bowl, chocolate-flavored with fruits, for him. Lloyd grabbed it and quickly got a spoonful. Just like that, he was already smiling.

“See? Feeling better already?”

“Yeah!” Lloyd answered. His mother laughed, and he took another bite when she carried him off the bed. She brushed his hair aside to give him a kiss on his forehead. She was smiling at him.

“I love you, Honey.”

Lloyd beamed back at her. “Love you too, Mom!”

And suddenly, she brought the black samurai up again, who piped, “Aw, not me~?” He drooped to look sad. Lloyd couldn’t help laughing.

“You too.” Lloyd patted to puppet’s head.

After that, his mother brought him to the living room where they watched some shows together before he did his homework. Then he had dinner, did more homework, and watched TV again.

If Lloyd had to be honest, that day was basically his normal everyday life, even up till now. Heck, the only difference was that he actually had friends this time, and the puppet...he outgrew it years ago.

He had it for as long as he knew his mom, so never thought about where it might’ve come from. 

If he was right, it should still be in his closet, tucked away with the other toys he had forgotten. Maybe...he should show it to dad once they got back?

...yeah. Why not?

[merinathropp]

Tanz der Vampire - Hamburg 2017: Detailed Breakdown

It’s official, folks: I have finally, finally seen Tanz der Vampire live. After 17 months of hoping, dreaming and saving - my little dream came true, and I flew to Germany to see the show. So! In loving memorial, I’ve written up a stupidly long review of my experience below. I saw the show twice, but have combined the entire experience into this one post. If anyone has a particular question about a scene or song, please just shout at me :) I’m up for any excuse to talk more about this show, being the obsessed fan that I am...

First night - from stalls left Second night - from stalls front row, right in the middle Graf von Krolock - Mathias Edenborn Alfred - Tom van der Ven Sarah - Maureen Mac Gillavry Sarah - Anja Wendzel (alternate)  Professor Abronsius - Victor Petersen Herbert - Kiryll Zolygin (alternate)  Magda - Sara Jane Checchi Chagal - Jerzy Jeszke

GENERAL

- This trip was worth every dang penny. Hands down one of the greatest musical theatre experiences of my life I encourage everyone to save up, spend the money and fly to Germany to see this musical live, at least once your lifetime. You will not regret it. 

- What blew me away the most about my entire experience was coming to the realisation that Tanz der Vampire is a legitimately spectacular musical at its core, more so than I had ever given it credit for. Everything comes together to create an entirely immersive experience that sweeps you off your feet for 3 hours, and a shaky camcorder bootleg can never, never match its true glory.

- Orchestra was full and luscious, to my ears. No idea what all the complaints are about, Hamburg has definitely pulled out all the stops in this regard. There was a killer pianist banging out some stuff I’ve never even noticed on the CD! - The lighting was pure magic. My word, this show does not get enough credit having some of the most awe-inspiring lighting I think I’ve ever seen onstage. Highlights for me were the gleaming moonlight that floods the back of the stage during Tanzaal and the eerie golden glow of sunrise in Carpe Noctem.

- The sets are unearthly and gothic and stunning; the rotating cottage blanketed in snow, the graveyard swimming in mist with its wrought-iron gates in silhouette, the cavernous ballroom with its winding staircase, the maze of bookcases draped in cobwebs and dust...gosh, there are too many to name. I’ve always leaned more towards the Kentaur Revival sets, but having seen these ones live, I’m starting to seriously reconsider my opinion.

ENSEMBLE

- Is it just me, or are the German casts always uncannily brilliant when it comes to their mirror doubles? I swear this is one thing the Russian casts never managed to pull off. Even from the front row, it still looked like Alfred’s reflection was dancing with an invisible Herbert. And the trio at the end were perfectly synced, right down to drawing breath in unison. Absolutely ingenious.

- Roten Stiefel was sublime, especially the first time I saw it. The ensemble seemed to be dancing on air, every movement just flowed and Sarah literally flew around the stage like she was on cloud nine. I don’t think I breathed for the entire sequence.

- The coordination of the choreography in Ewigkeit blew me away. You just don’t know where to look during that number, it’s such a visual spectacle! Like a literal load of rotting corpses, each trying to keep themselves in one piece long enough to feed. One guy clearly had a case of Nearly-Headless Nick, one guy kept ‘popping’ his arms back into their sockets, one lady was totally spastic - they’re all so individual and creative!

- Nightmare!Alfred and nightmare!Sarah were haunting and lovely. Every movement between them was so gentle and full of longing. The way nightmare!Alfred looked at her, guh - tender and sweet, yet oddly aloof and mysterious, he was so interesting to watch! And his snarling at the end was vicious, like a mad dog or something, really chilling stuff. 

- Nightmare Solo 1 was replaced by HERBERT HIMSELF! Yes, it was HERBERT who appeared on top of the bed and introduced Carpe Noctem, cementing his ‘puppet master’ role 100%. He was so graceful and controlling throughout the entire number, moving his hands like he was ‘guiding’ each dancer into place. And I loved that the replacement meant that Herbert was the first and last character to leave the nightmare, he remained on the bedpost gazing down at sleeping Alfred until the very end of the singing, before drifting off upstage. Ugh, so many new Carpe Noctem headcanons...

- I was disappointed with our Black Vampire. He never threw himself into his movements, there was no power or danger in anything he did, just...perfectly okay dancing, and one really odd lacklustre jump. Bit of a let down :(

KROLOCK (Mathias Edenborn)

- You know how everyone in the fandom says you never forget your first Graf? Well...shoot, turns out they’re absolutely right. Mathias was magnificent and blew all my expectations away; I’ve never thought much of him, in the videos I’ve seen, but watching him live was an incredible experience. He was electrifying from the moment he glided onstage, and commanded the attention of the whole theatre. His Krolock was refined yet animalistic, powerful yet broken, charming yet icy cold, passionate yet subtle. He could also be raw and human when he needed to be, and for the first time, actually made me FEEL for the character. And he has this massive booming powerhouse voice to boot.

- During Vor Dem Schloss, he was very intent on Alfred, standing right up close to him and wrapping his cloak around his shoulders. He also did a lovely elegant gesture where he traced the outline of Alfred’s face with his fingertips. Tom was reacting so well to him, the two just played off each other beautifully throughout the whole scene, just this constant push and pull, like there was a magnetic force between them - brilliant stuff. That chemistry, I Am Here For It. 

- When he was talking about Die Fledermaus, he went: “Genial! (deadpan sarcasm, staring straight out into the audience) ...Ich war gefangen.” Ouch :)

- During Einladung, he examined the planks of Sarah’s door and ran his fingers over them in a mocking sort of way when he sang the word ‘sicherheit’ - like he was sneering at Chagal’s efforts and how feeble/useless they were.

- During Totale Finsternis, he did something very interesting; every time he turned away from Sarah, he seemed to be secretly struggling with himself, not from thirst, but almost as though he was overwhelmed by the sin he was committing, and feeling some measure of conflict over it? He’d reach towards her, and then shake his head and pull back at the last minute, and turn away from her with this broken expression and put a hand to his heart. Finally, at the very end of the song, when he turned to face her and saw she’d bared her throat - his face went entirely blank, cold and decisive, like he’d made up his mind in that moment. Such an interesting take on the number, turning it into a moral dilemma for Krolock even as he’s drawing Sarah into his web!

- During Tanzaal, at the very beginning when he first appeared at the top of the stairs, he greeted the retinue of vampires with a German word I couldn’t catch, and then held out a hand in Herbert’s direction, and announced “Sohn!” with great solemnity and I absolutely loved it :’) all the family Krolock feels.

- He had so much adorable interaction with Herbert throughout the rest of the number, it warmed my heart. They would laugh together and Herbert tapped his shoulder when Sarah entered the room, then leant over to say something to him and they grinned together like two gothic super-villains, it was AMAZING. When Sarah came down the stairs and revealed her full dress, Krolock glanced back at Herbert and raised his eyebrows, like he was saying “See? Told you she was something.” and it was the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen a Krolock do.

- When Alfred almost collided with him at the end of the minuet, he reached out a hand and sort of flicked/stroked Alfred’s open fingertips with one of his nails. It was so creepy and menacing, like Alfred was a mouse on a cat’s claw.

ALFRED (Tom van der Ven)

- Mixed feelings on Tom’s Alfred. I found his first performance dull as dishwater, he had this odd vacant expression for about 50% of the show and it was maddening how bland he made Alfred, even though his chemistry with Sarah and Krolock was fantastic. But! Low and behold! His second performance was much better: more reactive, more expressive, more everything. He brought the character to life, at least in most scenes, and won me over against all the odds. 

- I know I’m preaching to the choir here, but oh my word, he is the absolute cutest of cute Alfreds. If him and Sergey ever starred in Tanz together, the theatre would implode from sheer cuteness overload. He’s so small and slender with these big wide innocent eyes, you just want to hug him every time he walks onstage. He also puts on an oddly plaintive high-pitched voice for Alfred, which I found ??? initially, but I do think it works with his performance. Also: my relatives said his accent was distracting, but I didn’t notice. 

- I love, love, love how truly sincere and ardent he plays Alfred, during any interaction with Sarah. Wirklich Sehr Nett was a real love-at-first-sight moment for him: he spoke so softly to Sarah, he was tentative and gentle, but so genuine. He clearly meant every single word he said, and he gazed at her like she was the sun and moon and stars. My heart, it hath feelings.

- Another Sarah-related thing that he kept up through the entire show: whenever he was singing about Sarah, thinking about Sarah, even remembering Sarah in Ein Guter Tag (“Heut oder nie finde ich zu ihr!”) or Der Gruft (“Denk an Chagal’s Tocher!”) - he got this dorky, dreamy, crooked half-smile and gazed off into the distance like he’d been momentarily transported to Heaven itself and oh my gosh that smile could melt the coldest heart I swear...

- During Tanzaal, he didn’t recognise the Professor at first and just stood awkwardly beside him for a bit...before doing a double take, like “Oh Professor, it’s only you!” which was ever so cute. Then during his little step-toe dance across the stage, he picked his feet up SUPER HIGH like he was trying extra hard to be a Fancy Vampire and it made me giggle so much.

- Any Krolock/Alfred shippers in the house must have been having a field day, because he was so FOCUSSED on Krolock during Vor Dem Schloss, I don’t think he took his eyes off him for a moment. He’d take little stumbling steps towards him like he couldn’t help being drawn in, but then he’d shrink away and sort of ‘hunch’ in on himself in defence when Krolock came close. But when Krolock came right up behind him and shadowed him with his cloak (“Ich lehr dich was es heißt zu leben”), Tom actually turned his head over his shoulder and tilted his face up to gaze at Krolock, VERY reminiscent of Totale Finsternis (paralells!!!!! my favourite thing!!!!!) which was just awesome. 

- Der Gruft was a highlight of both shows, Tom was legitimately hilarious with perfect comic timing, but still so sincere that it broke my heart. When he dropped the hammer, he gazed out at the audience in total horror for a few seconds, before squeaking “Ich kann das nicht” in this tiny high-pitched voice that made the audience laugh so much. Then he delivered “...Aber ich kan dass troztdem nicht!” even higher and squeakier and the audience laughed again and a lady near me went awwww, because it was just so pitiful and sweet.

- I also liked that he went to stake Herbert’s coffin first, out of complete instinct, before the Professor called him back. Interesting that he would consider Herbert most dangerous on a purely subconscious level, even before the events of Wenn Liebe. 

- During Draussen Ist Freiheit, when Sarah booped his nose with her finger, he blinked and raised his own hand to touch his nose in wonder, like “Oh, she nose-booped me :3” and it was just. so. freaking. adorable. 

- HE TRIED TO KISS SARAH AT THE END OF DRAUSSEN, A PROPER KISS ON THE LIPS, MY BRAVE SON...and he mirrored the gesture in the Draussen Reprise as well, right at the climax of the song, he went for a big sweeping kiss right before Sarah bit him. My heart, it hurts. #GiveAlfredHisFirstKiss2k17.

- He also had a fantastic reaction to the bite. He was choking and lolling his head, jerking from side to side and crying out but not quite screaming; he made it believable that the Professor would never hear :(

- His voice has improved, he belted out the latter half of Fuer Sarah with all the warmth and passion in the world. He had a huge grin on his face, and after the end of the song, he let out his breath and collapsed back against the bed, like The Emotion had just overwhelmed him completely <3 

- During Wenn Liebe, his delivery of “Ich zittere niiiiieeeeeee!” was hilarious, his voice was so squeaky and he drew out the last vowel like pleeease noooo.

- He spent the whole dance with Herbert going ‘oof!’ and ‘ah!’ and brought out the protective mother bear in me, because he’s such a delicate guy and needs to be Handled With Care but alas, this is not a concept Herbert understands...

- One acting choice I will never understand from Tom: his very mild, bland facial expressions during certain scenes where the focus isn’t placed chiefly on Alfred, e.g. the whole Chagal-vampire-staking sequence and Wenn Liebe. It’s almost like he doesn’t think anyone will be watching him, during these scenes? But I find it very distracting. For example, when he and the Professor discovered Chagal was missing, he looked...vaguely surprised, rather than shocked/terrified. And during Wenn Liebe, most of the time he’d just stare blankly out into the audience, even when when Kiryll mock-kissed him or declared his love. I think Alfred’s reactions are a HUGE part of what makes these scenes work, and it feels like something is missing without them.

HERBERT (Kiryll Zolygin)

- Kiryll was fine, but he wasn’t my kind of Herbert. He was cold, vain and predatory. He strutted around the stage like a peacock, smoothing his hair back and sticking his chin up and posing just like his father. Very refined, very confident, very intimidating; definitely the Graf’s son through and through. There was nothing amusing about his Herbert, he was cool and prowling and Wenn Liebe played like a sinister game of cat-and-mouse. 

- He was also hard to read at times; his expressions were oddly closed-off and there were times when I honestly didn’t know what Herbert was supposed to be thinking/feeling. When he saw Alfred for the first time, he simply looked steadily at him, his face smooth and expressionless. Even throughout Wenn Liebe, he didn’t seem very besotted with Alfred, just amused - which made his groping extra-creepy and his declaration of love seem more ironic than sincere.

- Speaking of ironic, can someone tell this guy it’s okay to cosy the heck up to Tom when they’re dancing because I swear he was keeping about 3 feet of space between their chests and idk why Herbert von Krolock would ever keep Alfred at such a chaste, safe, heterosexual distance from himself...

- He had the sweetest, most delicate, most Herberty-y giggle I have ever heard in my life, it was perfect and made me smile every time I heard it.

- During Vor Dem Schloss, he did this amazing piece of catwalk nonsense in front of Alfred, striding back and forth like “yes admire me human, behold my glory” whilst Tom stared in bewilderment. My poor son, so confused :)

- He cracked appallingly in Carpe Noctem, both nights. I physically winced. The second time I saw him, he also broke off one of his notes way too early, which was obvious to everyone because Magda held hers perfectly. Poor guy.

- During Wenn Liebe, he mocked-kissed Alfred in the middle of the dance, but Tom didn’t react at all, and I felt bad for him because that’s actually quite a daring thing to attempt, but Tom’s lack of reaction made the moment fall flat. 

- This is a bit yikes but I have to mention it: he very slowly and obviously licked his lips whilst watching Alfred run away into the audience, which definitely takes the jackpot for Creepiest Herbert Gesture Ever.

- During Tanzaal, he came down to the front of the stage and looked RIGHT DOWN AT ME THE AUDIENCE and sneered down at us like we were all Mere Peasants who were unworthy of his presence. I actually shrank back in my seat a bit, it was incredibly intimidating! 

- One VERY interesting addition: he deliberately turned around and watched Alfred dragging his Ewigkeit vampire off-stage to steal his costume. He didn’t react much, just gazed after Alfred like "Hmmm..." - but it was interesting nonetheless, I’ve never seen a Herbert do that before. 

SARAH (Anja Wendzel)

- Both my Sarahs were fantastic, but Anja truly did steal my heart. Bursting with energy and emotion, radiating chemistry with anyone she shared the stage with, and her belt was to die for (plus the sweetest, prettiest head voice too).

- She was such a SULTRY Sarah! I couldn’t believe how flirtatious and sensual she was with Alfred during Wirklich, it was almost too much to watch, and Tom’s Alfred was a complete wreck by the end of it :’) she was also very teasing during the bathtub scene in Act 2, waggling her finger and leaning in towards him when she talked about having one dance free. Poor Alfred.

- During Draussen, she also did this hilarious thing at the beginning of the song: she’s tiptoeing around outside, and suddenly Alfred starts belting “UNTER DIESEM DAAAACH” and she panics and gestures frantically like “nonono shhhhh SSSHHHH!!!!!” and it was so fresh and absolutely hilarious :)

- During Red Boots Ballet, she’d gaze off into space and move in perfect unison with her dance double, lifting her arms a bit or swaying backwards and forwards, basically play-acting the entire dance sequence going on behind her.

- During Gebet, she did something so beautiful, it moved me almost to tears. When Rebecca started singing, she froze in place and her face lit up with recognition, and she whispered “Mama!” so softly. Then she unfolded her shawl, knelt down to pray, but as she prayed, she was shaking her head and trembling and fighting back tears, and finally she couldn’t stop them any longer, and she stopped praying and started sobbing - actually, properly sobbing. It was almost like she was grieving the life/family she was leaving behind. And then as the song built and built, she stopped crying and got this new expression of strength and determination, like she’d finished her mourning, and now she was ready to make her move and start her new life, and finally by the end of the number, she was belting out the final notes with so much passion, her voice was exploding off the stage in front of us, and it was breathtaking. 

SARAH (Maureen Mac Gillavry)

- This woman had a belt that could rival any Elphaba, and her Sarah was so vivacious and likeable, I think she made the entire audience fall in love with her alongside Alfred, which is my very favourite kind of Sarah tbh. 

- She ADORED Alfred, she seemed so giggly and awww over him during their interactions together. Even during Draussen, she clearly still thought he was sweet, she bopped him on the nose and it was simultaneously super cute and a bit patronising all at once - such an effective little gesture! 

- She also made me tear up when Chagal was beating her, she full-on sobbed and cried out at the top of her voice, and then begged him with clasped hands. It was very upsetting, the most harrowing rendition of the scene that I’ve ever watched, she was so raw and desperate in that moment, you just knew you’d do anything to escape if you were in her shoes. 

PROFESSOR (Victor Peterson)

- This guy was was...argh. Not my cup of tea. A very unsympathetic Professor, he came off as plain selfish and annoying. His self-obsession was unbearable in Wahrheit, there was nothing endearing about it at all, he was so shrill and simply came across as obnoxious and over-the-top, like he wanted the whole world to worship him. And half of his jokes didn't land, I swear the audience laughed more at Tom during Der Gruft than they ever did at him.

- His relationship with Alfred was downright cruel in places. He pushed him around and hissed at him really aggressively and pinched his cheek and gosh it was just Not A Good Time. No wonder Tom struggled to show any kind of real devotion to this guy; I usually live for the Professor/Alfred dynamic because it’s so heartwarming, but this was...gosh. This made me almost (almost!) want Alfred to leave him and serve Krolock & Son instead.

- His voice was brilliant. I cannot deny this, it was brilliant. He handled the falsetto sections with absolute confidence and every note was perfect.

MAGDA (Sara Jane Checchi)

- Magda belted stunningly twice...and belted badly twice. I think perhaps she had a bit of a cold, as she seemed to be straining on some of the high notes. 

- That being said, her portrayal was wonderful in every other regard; she was so sweet, so cautious and observant, and seemed to really like Alfred. She spent the whole of Knoblauch trying to get his attention, and seemed to find his ogling very endearing and sweet. Strange, because the patrons of the inn also ogle her like crazy, and grab her skirts etc. which she clearly hated. Maybe she saw Alfred’s ogling as more involuntary and therefore more innocent? (though tbh Tom could make robbing a bank look innocent, so maybe that’s moot point)

- She also gave Chagal a few little smiles during Nie Gesehen which was very unexpected, almost like she was disapproving of his behaviour on principle, but deep down thought he was quite amusing. Interesting take on that relationship.

- During Wahrheit, she and Rebecca were signalling back and forth, across the yard; Rebecca wanted her to eaves-drop on Alfred and the Professor whispering together, but Magda couldn’t make out the words as she was too far away. I love the idea of these two characters being in ‘cahoots’ so to speak.

CHAGAL (Jerzy Jeszke)

- I want to mention that Chagal was not only hilarious, but also slightly less lecherous than other performances I’ve seen. His voice was also fantastic, a very strong full sound, which made his more honourable moments (e.g. “Ich bringt sie wieder!”) surprisingly impactful. Good job, my dude, good job. 

[peterposition-blog]

Political Circus

What a disappointing time we are living in. 

Following the acquittal, both President Donald Trump and Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi held their own press conferences. Both of them were absolutely ridiculous. Both of them full of fighting words. It’s just sad.

“It’s Bullshit!”

It’s funny how now that he was able to manipulate his Republican senators into voting that he was not guilty for the clear abuse of power he committed, Trump went on a barrage of words against the Democrats, the entire impeachment process, and specifically Nancy Pelosi and Mitt Romney.

His conference, which he deemed a ‘celebration,’ felt like a WWE promo. It’s so frustrating and depressing to see our President acting like this. 

He held up a copy of The Washington Post with the words ‘acquitted’ as he said to First Lady Melania Trump, ‘Honey, maybe we'll frame it. The only good headline I've ever had on The Washington Post.’

To summarize the incredible speech that I would hope never to hear again from someone that is President of the United States, here are some of the most absurd quotes.

‘And we were treated unbelievably unfairly, and you have to understand we first went through Russia, Russia, Russia. It was all bullshit.‘

‘They made up facts. A corrupt politician named Adam Schiff made up my statement to the Ukrainian president. He brought it out of thin air. Just made it up. They say, he’s a screenwriter, a failed screenwriter.’

‘We did a prayer breakfast this morning, *and I thought that was really good. In fact, that was so good it might wipe this out. But by the time we finish this, we’ll wipe that one out, those statements.* I had Nancy Pelosi sitting four seats away, and I’m saying things that a lot of people wouldn’t have said, but I meant every word, okay?’

*Note: All he cares about is headlines, headlines, headlines. He’s still the same reality television star he’s always been. Yuck. Back to his quotes.

‘Then you have some who used religion as a crutch. They never used it before. An article written today. Never heard him use it before. But today, you know, it’s one of those things. It’s a failed presidential candidate, so things can happen when you fail so badly running for president. Say hello to the people of Utah and tell them I’m sorry about Mitt Romney.‘

‘Adam Schiff is a vicious, horrible person. Nancy Pelosi is a horrible person. And she wanted to impeach a long time ago when she said, I pray for the president. She doesn’t pray. She may pray but she prays for the opposite. But I doubt she prays at all. These are vicious people.‘

‘People are very angry that Nancy Pelosi and all these guys — I mean, [Jerry] Nadler, I’ve known him much of my life. He’s fought me in New York for 25 years. I always beat him, and I had to beat him another time, and I’ll probably have to beat him again, because if they find that I happened to walk across the street and maybe go against the light or something, let’s impeach him. So I’ll probably have to do it again because these people have gone stone cold crazy. I’ve beat them all my life and I’ll beat them again if I have to.‘

‘Iowa. And he was talking about the fiasco. The Democrats can’t count some simple votes yet they want to take over your health care system. Think of that.‘

‘You could say it but this is sort of a day of celebration because we went through hell. And I’m sure that Pelosi and crying Chuck [Schumer] — the only time I ever saw him cry was when it was appropriate. I’ve known him for a long time, crying Chuck.‘

‘I want to apologize to my family for having them have to go through a phony, rotten deal by some very evil and sick people, and Ivanka is here and my sons and my whole family.‘

I can’t recall the last time we had a President that spoke like this. Unhinged. His ego really jumped out here. It’s so sad. This man is the one running the country. And he is here basically having a big old laugh at his political opponents like the typical bully he is - knowing damn well that he got away with abuse of power. He got away with it.

Pelosi Pokes Back

While I don’t think fighting words back-and-forth are what either the President or the Speaker of the House should be doing, I still think that Pelosi’s was a little more warranted. She was basically bad-mouthed by Trump all day, so it was human nature to speak out. 

She had also been stomped on by some of the media and people on social media for ripping the State of the Union speech papers. (Something that I also found a little distasteful to be honest.)

In her speech, she said the following.

‘As required by the Constitution of the United States, the President is to submit in writing or in person, his statement of the State of the Union.  What happened instead was a President using the Congress of the United States as a backdrop for a reality show, presenting a state of mind that had no contact with reality whatsoever.’

‘It was quite appalling to hear the President say the [130], at least, million families in America that are faced with pre-existing medical conditions – a benefit that is afforded to them in the Affordable Care Act – that he was protecting that benefit, when, in fact, he has done everything to dismantle it.‘

‘So, it was, in my view, a manifesto of mistruths, of falsehoods, blatantly, really dangerous to the well-being of the American people if they believed what he said.  So, again we do not want the chamber of the House of Representatives to be used as a backdrop for one of his reality shows with unreality in his presentation.  And, by the way, a serious breach to start shouting ‘Four more years,’ on the Floor of the House, totally inappropriate.’

(NOTE: Yet she ripped the papers, c’mon Pelosi)

‘I don't know if the President understands about prayer or people who do pray, but we do pray for the United States of America.  I pray for him, President Bush still, President Obama.  It is a heavy responsibility.  I pray hard for him, because he is so off the track of our Constitution, our values, our country, the air our children breathe, the water they drink and the rest.  He really needs our prayers.  He can say whatever he wants, but I do pray for him, and I do so sincerely and without anguish.

‘I thought what he said about Senator Romney was particularly without class, when he said ‘Some people use faith as an excuse to do the wrong things.’  It’s so inappropriate at a prayer breakfast.  You want to go to a prayer breakfast, pray on the school vouchers, woman's right to choose, all the things that that is the right audience for, God bless you.  It is a prayer breakfast. That’s something about faith.  May not be something I agree with, but it’s appropriate.  But to go into the stock market and raising up his approval thing and he's mischaracterizing other peoples’ motivation – he’s talking about things he knows little about: faith and prayer.’

‘I tore up a manifesto of mistruths. It was necessary to get the attention of the American people to say, ‘This is not true, and this is how it affects you.’  And I don't need any lessons from anybody, especially the President of the United States, about dignity – dignity.  Is it okay to start saying ‘four more years’ in the House of Representatives?  It’s just unheard of. It is unheard of for the President to insult people there who don't share his views, as well as to misrepresent – present falsehoods.  Some would use the word lie – I don’t like to use the word lie – about what he is saying. So, no, I think it was completely, entirely appropriate.  And considering some of the other exuberances within me, the courteous thing to do.’

‘Now, all presidents have guests – constant guests – that was not a State of the Union.  That was a state – his state of mind.  We want a State of the Union.  Where are we, where are we going and the rest.  Not, ‘Let me just show you how many guests I can draw.  And let me say how I can give a medal of honor’ – do it in your own office.  We don’t come in your office and do Congressional business.  Why are you doing that here?   In any event I feel very liberated.  I feel very liberated.  I feel that I have extended every possible courtesy.  I have shown every level of respect.  I say to my Members all the time, there is no such thing as eternal animosity.  There are eternal friendships, but you never know on what cause you may come together with someone you may perceive as your foe right now.  Everybody is a possible ally in whatever comes next.  ‘E pluribus unum.’  From many, one.  We don't know how many we’d be or how different we’d be, but they want us always to remember that we were one.  And they, our Founders, had their differences, as do we. Again, I extended the hand of friendship to him, to welcome him as the President of the United States, to the People’s House.  It was also an act of kindness, because he looked to me like he was a little sedated.  He looked that way last year too, but he didn’t want to shake hands.  That was that.  That meant nothing to me.  It had nothing to do with my tearing it up.  That came much later. I’m a speed reader.  I just went right through that thing.  So, I knew what was coming when I saw the compilation of falsehoods, but when I heard the first quarter or third I started to think there has to be something that clearly indicates to the American people that this is not the truth.  And he has shredded the truth in his speech.  He’s shredding the Constitution in his conduct.  I shredded his state of his mind address.’

Yikes!

Dangerous Ego

It’s no question that our country is completely divided right now. Our government is completely broken. A clown is using our government to boost his ego, to be in the history books. At least, he will be in the history books as an impeached president. And if common sense and good prevails, as the worst president in history come November.

One Truth One Lie

During his impeachment victory celebration speech, Trump said the following line.

‘We’ve gone through more than any president or administration, and really, I say for the most part, Republican congressmen, congresswomen and Republican senators, we’ve done more than any administration in the first few years.‘

There is definitely one lie there and one truth. Any guesses? Ha!

See at least I’ll give him that. No, that. That first part. Only the first part!

You can watch Speaker Pelosi’s speech by clicking here. You can watch President Trump’s speech by clicking here.