#this post feels like a journal entry or something

[endless-weightless]

Ford Pines x Fem!AFAB!Reader NSFW headcanons

Oh lord I am so obsessed with this 12-fingered nerd.

These are kinda messy and not thoroughly proofread so apologies for any typos or grammatical errors.

WARNINGS: Brief mention of BDSM and trauma-based kink

The best way to get this man to listen to you or to shut up is to whip out your tits. Deadass. Whatever was going on in that big brain of his will instantly be silenced by the sight of your boobs. He really likes your boobs.

HE CAN FIND THE CLIT!!! 

He’d ask you what feels the best when eating you out and would want specific instructions. Honestly, he’d write journal entries about his “research” if he could (he probably would LMFAO).

Whimpers when you rake your nails down his back.

Has a written list somewhere containing every necessary part of aftercare. He’d have it memorised pretty quickly but is always ready to add anything you’ve mentioned wanting to do post-fuck.

And although he’s perfect with aftercare, the second you guys are done taking care of each other and making sure you’re both alright he’s knocking the fuck out. He will never beat the sex coma.

He’s so smitten by you it’s not even funny.

I doubt he’d be super into kink or BDSM but he’d be down to try it. I feel like he’d enjoy being dominated the most but any sex with you is the best sex. However, I do think he’d enjoy pain more than the average person (this is probably the result of all the shit he went through, like kinks formed from trauma).

This man is both a nerd and a geek so if you cosplay your character from DD&MD he’d probably faint.

Gets all flustered and nervous when you eye him up. He still doesn’t understand he’s hot.

Definitely gets teary-eyed when he finishes. Partly because he’s just a physically sensitive guy but mostly because he’s so in love with you and despite how rough and raunchy sex can be for you two he still sees it as something super intimate and romantic.

Aftercare always consists of you two holding each other for a while. Then if you’re both up to it he’ll run a hot bath (where you both fight to stay awake because y’all are so damn tired).

One of his fantasies of you is you giving him head under his desk while he researches or writes. He’d be too scared to admit it though so he’d just quietly pray you one day find the urge to do it on your own.

[writingquestionsanswered]

Hi! Could you talk more about "character development exercises", please?:]

Character Development Exercises

Character development exercises are writing exercises you can do to help you explore and develop your characters. This isn't a required part of writing or character development, but many writers find it helpful. Here are some that I like to do when I'm struggling to get to know a character:

Character Interview - imagine that you’ve pulled your character out of a story into the room and now have the opportunity to interview them. What questions would you ask them? What do you want to know about them that you don’t already know? What do you think the reader would want to know? What might be pertinent to the story that you haven’t thought about yet?

TV Crew follow around - Imagine you’ve dropped an invisible TV crew into your story’s world to follow your character around through an average day (even if it's anachronistic). Follow them from the moment they wake up until the moment they go to bed that night. What are they like when they wake up? What is their morning routine? What do they eat for breakfast? How do they get ready? What do they do throughout the day? Who do they interact with? What else do they eat and drink? What do they do for fun or relaxation? How to they make money or meet their basic needs? What is their bedtime routine like?

Letters or Journal Entries - Look at your character's back story, off-screen events, etc. and find something for your character to write about in a journal entry or a letter to another character. What would they say about this event? How does it make them feel? What do they think about it?

Use Your Character in a Writing Prompt - Look at some writing prompts and do one using your character as the main character. You can keep it within your story's world or plop them into a whole different world. Whatever works for you and your story. This is about getting to know this character in a different context than the events of your story provides.

Create a Character Mood Board/Aesthetic - Mood boards go a long way in mentally fleshing out a character for me. Being able to have a visual representation of their style, their vibe, things that are important to them, etc. really turns them into real people in my mind.

Create a Playlist for Your Character - I think playlists can also be a really great way to mentally flesh out a character in your mind. Sometimes, just having a particular song or a playlist of songs that makes you think of them gives them some dimension they wouldn't otherwise have.

Happy writing!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

♦ Questions that violate my ask policies will be deleted! ♦ Please see my master list of top posts before asking ♦ Learn more about WQA here

[aleeyenn]

HII GUYSSS life update … school ends in almost two weeks! AH!!! next year is my final year of grade school… so scary but also SO exciting SCHOOL ISNT GOOD FOR MEEE😭i have very poor work abilities … ACTUALLY PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF IM THE ONLY ONE WHO FEELS LIKE THIS: the more i stress out about something the less i wanna do that… IS THAT JUST A ME THING? i kinda hope so so no one else has to deal with the most horrible demand resistance and stress ever but i also kinda hope not so i don’t feel alone…

but ASIDE FROM THAT … IM REALLY SCARED FOR MY DRAWING ABILITIES! recenrly i haven’t been drawing and it makes me really sad that i haven’t been but i’m pretty sure i haven’t been able to bring myself to doing it BECAUSE of my stress… that’s not the only reason tho IM WORKING AS A CARICATURE ARTIST THIS SUMMERRR😭 i really didn’t wanna but that’s the role i was put into… i feel horrible doing it BUT I NEED THE MONEEYYY AAGH but i’m worried for it because it hurts my hand to do it cuz i have to press so hard and drawing people for six hours every day might drain me from wanting to draw my own stuff… admittedly tho i do think my training for it has sharpened my facial analysis skills and line-tidy-ness but it makes me feel TERRIBLE. thankfully i’m only gonna do this over summer and i have no plans on returning to it next year LOL but i am sure i’ll be able to do something? somehow to allow myself the freedom and time and space to create my own work… all my own work is bfdi stuff HAHAHA minus school art assignments

but yes.. the meaning of talking about this here was to explain why i have been so slow with art… IM SORRY i hate it too… it’s really frustrating actually to be drained so much from something that determines a huge portion of your future But that’s just how it’s gonna be i guess… wish me luck on the last couple weeks of school!!! also my birthday is officially in five days (may 29)!!! YAAAYYY ILL BE 17!!! i’m really looking forward to it HEEHEE okay THANKS FOR READING

TLDR; i haven’t been drawing due to school stress and i am worried my summer job will continue my lack of drawing further (But i am hopeful i will work something out)

[valeriannnn]

I know little of the Keepers and their cultural norms, but I suppose it should not come as a surprise that matters of grooming and personal maintenance should carry a more pragmatic connotation for those who live in such isolation - or perhaps our friend is simply strange, regardless of his context. I must admit: it was no small comfort to me, in those frigid days heralding the twilight of the Dragonsong War, to discover that our champion did not share our Sharlayan intuition toward personal space. Our more guarded companions don't always share my gratitude for the attention, but I believe that after our long estrangement, even the coldest of hearts could not fail to be warmed by such a gesture.

Wolcred Week 2024 Day 1: Warmth | Home

ok as mentioned in the tags i didnt have time to render a complete scene for this but i found this old mspaint sketch that demonstrates the Vibe. tyagoa just walked up behind him after cleaning up from their meal

[suddencolds]

.~

[skunkes]

good sister has been extra vigilant of me now that im the last one sick

[spikrock]

i do not draw these on colored paper, i have a blue lamp!!!!!!!!!!!!

[lord-shitbox]

there's a disconnect between me and my feelings and desires. i typically have feelings and needs im not aware of until i start writing to myself & then they just sorta come out. oh my dad just walked in and showed me the metal straws he bought holy shit love is real

[1roentgen]

.

[feyriejane]

"Oh, please!" I exclaim, laughing. "We both know I'm the dominant one in this relationship." He scoffs at this assertion, his good nature taking the joke without offense. "Maybe not sexually, but with everything else."

"Yeah, well, you like it that way. You like to be in control." He says, thinking he's revealing a truth about myself that I don't even know. There's a smug grin in his voice that tells me that I can't lie to him.

...

Something about this comment makes me stop in my tracks. It feels wrong, like he's speaking about someone else. Some other powerhouse of a woman who demands what she wants and needs and doesn't settle for any less. He makes a joke, but I don't hear it. Something about how I'm spoiled and insist on having everything go my way. If I had heard this wasp of a comment, maybe I would've been stung by it.

If he is wrong, who can blame him? After all, I've spent my whole life building my identity around being bossy, assertive, organized. I'm the one who has it all together. I'm the one who keeps the ship running. I'm the one who delegates responsibility and picks up whatever slack there is.

In some ways, I can't help it. I was a third parent to three little boys my whole childhood. More often, I was the second or even first parent. To this day, I am the first person my baby brothers call when they need help, not our actual parents. All four of us were let down by the very first people we were supposed to be able to trust and I was the one who picked up all of the pieces.

But do I like being this way? I used to think so. I used to take pride in it. There used to be a sense of fulfillment and accomplishment that came with saying "Don't worry, I've got it!" And for a while, I really did have it!

Until I didn't.

Our grandmother died and my baby brothers, now practically men, called me crying and asking for support. I lifted them up and took care of them and held them while they cried and cracked jokes when they didn't want to cry. My dad lectured me extensively about how much those boys need me. I should be available to them, regardless of distance or time.

I felt myself start to splinter and crack. The very foundations of who I am threatened to crumble. I was hurting and my hurt was so obviously last on anyone's list of priorities, even my own. My dad tells me all the time about how he doesn't worry about me. How he knows I have a good head on my shoulders. How he sees what a survivor I am.

The truth is, I have been unraveling ever since. It has been nearly ten months and I've spent that whole time not only grieving the loss of a dear family member, but fighting tooth and nail to learn how to prioritize myself without neglecting the people that rely on me.

I come back to what he said about me. "You like to be in control." I come back to the question in my head. "Do I like being in control?"

...

"You okay?" He asks, concerned. I have been silent for a long time.

...

I don't like being in control. In fact, I think I hate it. What was once a source of pride for me has become my shackles, dragging me down to the earth, to everything I am, to everything I wish I wasn't. I am desperate to someone to release me, to let me collapse into their arms, to carry me gently to a warm spot where I can rest and recover.

But how do I even begin to share this with anyone? How do I tell him that I wish he would take over the management of our relationship? How do you tell someone that you need them to make the plans and anticipate your needs? Is that even a fair thing to ask for? More than that, how do I let myself give the control to someone else when I'm not confident that they can handle it like I do?

How do you let yourself trust the people you love?

...

"I'm sorry for calling you spoiled. That was probably a little too far." He says, trying to make a guess at the reason behind my silence. Here is a man who isn't perfect, but is trying. He worries about me and all of the things I don't tell him. I don't tell him a lot and I think he knows. If there's anyone who I can talk to about this, it should be him.

"Actually," I start, my heart pounding in my chest. I know this is important. I know this is a step in the right direction. I know this is where I heal my wounds. All it takes is a few words, a conversation, an admittance of the truth.

"I don’t like being in control. I hate it."

"Oh... I'm sorry."

"Yeah. I want to talk about that now if that's okay."

"I'm listening."

...

Just like that, my chains feel a little more manageable.

[lovecoredeity]

@mythologiquill thank you!!! It’s very fun to try and like explore their past via diary entry and to give more insight to his personality that way as well, im glad to hear that I’m doing a good job!! The way they write entires is shamelessly inspired by how I do which is “pages and pages of info dumps” because I like to be thorough in my entries :3 I’m glad you like the doodles, I wanted Cashmere to draw the people he knows/meets in his diary because I thought it’d be fun!

[dottyistired]

The missing Journal 3 pages in TBOB are so interesting to me in further contextualizing Ford's mindset of shame regarding Bill. We'd gotten a snippet of it in the original J3 release:

But Bill shows us the less pragmatic motivations behind his actions, the mushy feely stuff he was too embarrassed to properly journal, putting certain series events into new context. Particularly this scene where after a whole episode of dancing around it, he finally opens up to Dipper about the nature of their relationship:

"Bill wasn't always my enemy, Dipper. I used to think he was my friend, long long ago..."

But does he really tell the full truth here? The cat's out of the bag, Dipper knows they had a deal, there's no reason not to tell everything. But Ford proceeds to explain his reasoning for summoning Bill as a purely practical, scientifically-driven one.

"I had hit a roadblock on my investigation of Gravity Falls. Until I found some mysterious writing in a cave. Ancient incantations about a being with answers. It warned me not to read them, but I was desperate."

Desperate...for what? Ford would have us believe it was for the sake of knowledge. Yet TBOB shows us that this is the entry immediately preceding his and Bill's first meeting.

Ford isn't some unfeeling robot powered solely by knowledge, he has human needs. He was lonely, lonely enough to summon a demon for companionship. A companionship so intimate, he describes his meeting Bill as the best day of his life, and laments the periods of absence from him.

That desire for intimacy is ultimately what drove him, and even with all his dirty laundry laid out he can't admit that part to Dipper. Maybe he doesn't even realize it himself, at least not until the post-Weirdmaggedon sections of TBOB:

Under the shame of unleashing Bill Cipher's destruction on the world, there's a much deeper shame: that Stanford Pines is not a lone-wolf, unfeeling sci-fi hero, but a fallible human being, capable of illogical sentimentality and longing for approval and (in)human connection. The exact nature of this sentimentality and longing is left to interpretation, but the efforts he goes to to conceal it make me lean towards something beyond platonic. Alex Hirsch seems to agree:

"I think he is deeply, deeply hiding from his real feelings about things, because at some point early on, he decided that he could run from hurt by achievement and by creation, and has dug that hole so deep that he has no relationships. He doesn't have friendships, he doesn't have romantic relationships, he is someone trapped in a tower of his own mind and estranged. Ford shows none of that. He has sublimated himself romantically so, so deeply. (…) I really thought of Ford kind of like Tesla in that realm.”

TL;DR Ford is up in his feelings about Bill and repressing hard. This is also eerily reminiscent of the self-blame abuse survivors engage in, the hesitance to tell others, and shame over persisting feelings for their abuser.

[fish-and-forbear]

Feeling sooooooooo much better than we were before, oh my gosh....

So glad that I have as-needed anxiety medicine set aside and that I am in a really, really good place in my life to be figuring all of this out. I think if Grist + co. had appeared sooner, or I dealt with them completely on my own, it wouldn't have been so good.

It hasn't.... been perfect either, not by a long shot but. I'd like to think it's been good. I'd like to think we're doing a lot more good than bad. I sure hope so. c:>

Learning a LOT of things about ourselves in a VERY short span of time. But it's good. It's wonderful. I feel immense catharsis and I have some exciting things I want to do and work on. SO many drawings I want to make!!!!!!! I was already on a real art streak these past couple months and I can't wait to keep going!!!!!!!!!! Maybe I'll actually share it here, too? I'm not sure yet. I get nervous about posting my art because of art theft and such but. Maybe it would be nice to share some things.

And SO EXCITED for my friend to finish this text editor config of emacs for us!!!!! :D It was originally for my own worldbuilding, research, and dnd needs but I realized it would be the perfect outlet for the guys to get their thoughts/feelings out. I hope journaling will be good for them. Grist spent a couple hours today being very thoughtful and wrote the poem that I pinned.

I am so proud of him. I think it's beautiful but he's a little shy about it, which is...sort of sweet... c:>

He wants to keep writing and has enjoyed it so far. His head seems to feel very "clear" when he is really "in the zone" with writing and thinking, and I am. So impossibly proud of him for trusting himself to be kind, gentle, and wise. He IS all of those things, but he feels like he loses touch with that and it frustrates him. I understand. I was the same way, for most of my life. He just needs to realize that he gets to choose the kind of person he wants to be. He will learn how to hold his emotions and fears, feel the edges and pain and passionate feelings, and realize that he can put them down if he wants to. He feels like he can't, that in the moment he doesn't feel physically capable of being anything else than panicked/afraid/depressed/etc. and I understand that. But he will learn that he can choose what he wants to feel. He does not have to be trapped in a spiral. He absolutely HAS felt other emotions and I have SEEN how wickedly clever, funny, thoughtful, gentle, wise, and clear-headed he can be.

He just needs to learn how to put things down and when to restart. Just like I did. And continue to learn how to improve. c:>

I am hoping that having journaling and art will help him a lot. And making a clear, defined list of coping skills and grounding tools he can reference when he feels "stuck." Hoping it will get easier as I get more in control when he is stumbling, too. I think I "freeze" when he panics, because it is a trigger to me, which makes it worse.... but realizing that I can actually stop the "loop" and that we can absolutely take breaks whenever we want is extremely freeing. <3 <3

And honestly, it's not something I expected Grist, of all people, to be able to teach me.

It's something that I've struggled with my whole life and I know I am getting so much better at it, especially comparing myself to Grist who absolutely sucks at it... bless his heart... x3 But. Something about... having a name, body, person to these feelings makes me feel. So much more determined to help him, and help myself, help us realize these things. That we are allowed to let go of guilt, fear, thought loops. We can just put them down and come back later, or not at all. And if there's a real problem, we can fix it, because that's what we do as mature, responsible adults. c:>

And... he's also helped me realize that sometimes... sometimes people aren't ready for certain things, and that's okay.

That doesn't mean it wasn't special while it lasted. It is... definitely something that I've spent the past few years slowly processing, after the end of my own 8 year relationship with someone I loved (and love) very, very much. That person is still in my life, but in a different, healthier, more distanced way. That person has also helped me realize that...relationships come in many forms. And that is wonderful.

I don't know how to describe it.

Grist realizing that he doesn't need a sexual partnership/devotion to feel happy/fulfilled in the type of relationship he wants. Yes what he wants is... maybe a little stranger than a conventional friendship, but that makes sense for him. His people were...a special bunch. And the camaraderie that he shared with them resonates with me, as well. It's something I ALSO needed to hear, I think.

That we can pick and choose exactly what we want and need and that is wonderful. I don't know why we were both so foolish as to not see that that is alright to do.

And for me... being honest with myself, and those that I care about so deeply, that sometimes something can be impossibly beautiful, joyous, kind, gentle, and lifechanging (in a great way!) but also needs space to breathe. Sometimes that means a LOT of space. And that is okay. Sometimes that means regrouping later (like my friendship with my ex-partner, where we are now better friends in the past 3 years than the other 10 that we knew each other!!! c:) and sometimes maybe not. And that's okay too. c:>

I am just..... so relieved. So RELIEVED beyond words that we didn't ruin it. We really didn't. We're going to be okay and we did the right thing. I know we did. And even today, I am just.... so happy..... I am so happy with the way things are, right now... I am so so so so so so so so relieved. <3 <3 <3 <3

Even if it changes more, even if.... if Grist or Neumes can't talk someday and we aren't together anymore, or our friendships change or disappear entirely, or our memories fade and we forget, that's okay. It's going to be okay. Because these things still happened and it was beautiful and we were here. <3

[orange-orchard-system]

It's been a while since I've seen a post like this, so... Here's some tips for figuring out who's fronting if you're having trouble!

Try calling yourself by the names of selves you suspect you might be until one of them clicks and feels right. (Or get someone else to do this to you.)

Set up a personality quiz with your system – with different alters as the results – and take it!

Consider how you'd feel if you were told you absolutely were not (insert headmate here). Would you be frustrated? Upset? Would you instinctively push back against that assertion? If so, this is probably a good indicator that you're that headmate.

If you keep descriptions of your sysmates, read through them and see what you relate to, and if you ever feel like anything is referring to you specifically, or that you wrote something.

The previous suggestion can also work for journal entries if you keep track of who wrote what.

This is not an exhaustive list; if you find a different method that works better for your system, use it! And remember, if you feel deep down like a specific system member... you probably are that system member. Good luck figuring out who's fronting and who you are!

[writingwithcolor]

Author with cultural disconnect: How do I write without making it seem as if I hate my own heritage?

Anonymous asked:

I’m a white-passing Asian author, and I’ve never felt all that connected with my heritage. My current story centers on a fairy (re: fantasy-world POC) child and ends with her realizing that her parents are toxic af and her human best friend’s family takes her in. This is the perfect opportunity to sort through my own issues with my heritage and finally convince my monkey-brain that it’s okay to not know how to cook Vietnamese food or celebrate tet or speak Vietnamese… But I also realize that if I’m not careful, this could easily slip into “Hey, I hate my heritage and so should you!” So how can I stop that from happening?

Writing for yourself first, not an audience

I ask you a simple question: why put pressure on yourself to have any sort of non-offensive messaging for a story that hasn’t been drafted yet and is to convince your monkey brain it’s okay to exist as yourself?

That seems like the fastest way to stop the story from being actually cathartic and instead a performance art piece when you already feel hung up on performing as “properly” part of your culture.

As I said in Working Through Identity Issues and Other Pitfalls of Representation, not all stories you write need to be for public consumption. Especially stories you’re using for your own self-processing and therapy, because you’re trying to get a cathartic moment that is rewriting your own story.

At what point does the public need to be involved in that?

I do understand the compulsion to want to post—I have definitely posted some Questionable™ material in my drive to get validation for feeling the way I do, wanting people to witness me and say “same.” It’s a powerful urge. Sometimes it’s worked, but most of the time it’s just made me feel horrifically exposed.

But you really do not have to post in public to get any sort of validation. Set up a groupchat with friends if you want the cheerleading and witnessing—people who will know your story and give you good-faith interpretations and won’t accuse you of anything. Honestly I’d suggest setting up this groupchat anyway; as someone who just got one again after quite a few years without it, my productivity has skyrocketed from being around supportive people.

Let the monkey brain have its monkey brain moment and shut off the concept the story is for the public. Shut off the concept of performing for an unknown audience. It’s for you. Be authentic, no matter how bad it would look to outsiders. They’re not reading it. Part of getting catharsis, sometimes, is being the worst version of yourself, somewhere nobody else can see it.

Deciding to publish the work

If, after you do write it, you find that you actually do want to polish it up and put it somewhere… edit it. Rewrite it entirely if that’s what it takes. Take the story through the same drafting process every story needs to go through, ripping out the unfortunate implications as you go.

Editing can be its own form of healing, as you try to figure out what this character would need to not be hateful. As you realize, once this longform journal entry is out of your head, what was bothering you now that you can see it pinned down on a page. But you absolutely do not need to write with the intention of editing in that healing. When I’ve tried, it’s fallen flat.

The healing will come from being yourself, no public involved, and writing about your feelings in their rawest form. Anything else is extra.

There’s no point in trying to put guard rails on the drafting process, not for a deeply personal piece. And by the time that drafting process is done, you’ll likely have specific scenarios and contexts that you can ask about, and you might even have ideas on how to fix it yourself once the story has a shape to it.

This is 100% a situation where there’s no real sense in idea workshopping something in the plotting stage. You’re doing something for you. Decide if it’s for public consumption later (while acknowledging “no” is a perfectly valid answer), and only figure out how to make the story not overtly harmful if you decide to put it out into the public.

~ Leigh