#this post makes me sad

[moodysims]

...but when something exciting for you happens the vampire flees... 🚶🏻‍♂️🧍🏼‍♀️

[athousandbyeol]

discussion #3 (only friends): each other's first true love— a topmew downfall

according to p'force and first, only friends is scheduled to air around the mid of august or early september. it's likely to be true because they're currently at the 19th q, which indicates there are only a few q's left before they wrap the shooting process. (i think, maybe, the official trailer will drop around the first week of august [which is next week, omo], and i'm preparing myself for the utmost worst). p'jojo also hinted the draft is looking good, so, yeah //screams).

we get updates from the official twitter page of only friends, the director (mostly p'nine), and other staff working on this drama. mainly, we get glimpses of topmew's (seemingly) domestic dates, and i'm honestly delighted to see them smiling. i think every topmew apologist (not just mew or top, hahaha) is content with the domesticity they're showing.

however, i guess by now, it's in my nature to look at the darker side of topmew's bright exterior. every picture comes with a daunting realisation that there will be pain, and that pain will hurt not just topmew but everyone rooting for them.

so, in this post, i would like to lightly touch on how topmew are each other's first true love and the implication of their blossoming affection on their fragile relationship.

a brief preface of mew and top's love life

mew

so, our angel baby mew, (i think i'm a mew apologist so he's very precious and baby-coded in my eyes), according to boston, has one of the dullest love (and sex) lives ever. how can a fourth-year university student, a senior, has never been laid? well, i don't quite understand that perspective because i'm just like mew but we'll just leave it there.

mew is speculated as:

someone who's never been in a romantic relationship.

(possibly) a virgin.

doesn't care much about relationships (before boston questioned mew about it).

has a traditional understanding of romantic relationships (doesn't like the idea of a one-night stand).

top is his first boyfriend and first love (?).

thus, this is some basic information we can gather from the mock trailer about mew. can anyone relate to mew? because i do. (except i'm still single to this day tmi.)

top

oh, yes. our certified heartbreaker. i think many of us have painted top as a bad guy from the get-go, but as i've discussed in my previous post, there are so many layers to top (and mew) than what meets the eye. and let's be real, everyone is a fragment of the good and bad. so, top is too.

but let's extract some details regarding top's love life from the first trailer:

fond of one-night stands and casual/open relationships.

something must have happened to him (either in his first relationship, his sexuality (his coming-out) or his family background (strict parents, etc) that shapes top as someone who's so deprived of genuine affection.

(my guess is) top has never felt true love and empathy from his previous partners/family, not until mew.

boston's fuck buddy.

mew is (probably) his first true love.

i like to entertain the idea of top not believing in love because of his experience with his previous partners or his parents (rejecting the idea of same-sex relationship).

judging from the photos, colour grading and clothing style, i assume only friends is set in the '80s or '90s. i made this guess because p'jojo said he could feel the vibe of gay ok bangkok while filming the series (i can't find where i read this. i apologise). additionally, it's the time when lgbtq+ is still looked down upon (everywhere, but more so in asia), and so many people are struggling with their identity (from my brief reading of thailand's social history).

however, looking back at p'jojo's never let me go, i guess this won't be a pertinent issue to the whole premise of the drama. it'll only affect several characters (top is one of them).

the idea of being each other's first true love: a promise of happiness and heartbreak

in my previous discussion, i highlighted the changes topmew will experience after their first encounter. from two different worlds, there are bound to be misunderstandings and mistakes made. but, as this is a new experience for both of them, they'll make rash decisions— a break-up.

i think, when we're in our first relationship, we can't quite grasp the essence of blending and adapting to our partner's behaviours. it'll be difficult to accept some of their flaws and tolerate their downsides. without honesty and openness, a relationship can't work no matter how much we love each other. and that's the first downfall of topmew's relationship; they believe only love can save them.

top: a promise of happiness

i mainly see only positive effects happening to top. i don't know when they'll go steady, but from the photos i see, after their fateful first meeting, top is ready to let mew into his life.

personally, i'm still puzzled about top. i don't know what makes him agree to mew's "can you wait? i think we can be more than a one-night stand?" because i see him as someone who doesn't comply with anyone if it's not beneficial to him. therefore, i guess top sees mew as another 'fun' time, not quite like boston, but someone he can 'play' with. but the more he learns about mew, his heart starts beating a bit too fast and it's silly and before top knows it— he likes mew. he genuinely likes mew.

side note: i also hope the drama will emphasise on how attractive mew is. i want to be ensured that mew is so likeable and desirable that everyone (read: top and ray) can't get enough of him. i want the drama to show the alluring side of mew, with dashes of innocence and cuteness, which can convince me why top falls hard for mew and why ray can't see san the way he looks at mew.

exhibit #1: the (first) awe

both of them are wearing fond (and sated) smiles on their faces. absolutely adorable. but i notice a more gentle, subdued shine from top— he looks very enamoured. stupidly fond of mew that his eyes turn to crescents and the smile on his face oozes with astonishment. their first kiss might be really sweet (and spicy?) that top can't quite wrap his head around mew.

exhibit #2: the 'oh-oh, i like him?'

in the mock trailer, we know mew is a smart (and nerdy?) student. and because of his lack of experience in dating, he might like these cute dates (retrieved from his research/reading), which i find endearingly sweet. i assume their dates will be cafe hunting, library dates, a stroll around the park and lounging at mew's apartment (with some spice and everything nice).

it's very interesting to see top's gaze softens (and intensify with adoration) in the photos of them together. this one in particular illustrates a gear shifting in top's brain. it might be from a moment of epiphany— oh. mew is so... cute? that realisation you have when a thing/person makes you feel so happy that you start being possessive and want them all to yourself? i think top is going through that phase.

exhibit #3: the 'i'm glad it's you' look

i personally like this photo the most because it's just topmew basking in each other's presence. a casual date, just the two of them amid the crowd. two cups of juice/soda (?) on the table— green— which commonly indicates balance, harmony, and equality; a mirror to their feelings for one another.

i can't stress enough that before their downfall, at one point in their relationship, they do love each other. they really do. (i don't know why this breaks my heart to say.)

exhibit #4: the 'i'm not supposed to be jealous/angry but i am'

this photo still remains a mystery to me because i'm unsure of its story. it's either ray visits mew's apartment when topmew have just gone back from their date or topmew are in mew's apartment before ray comes over. either or, top doesn't look happy sharing the same space with ray.

perhaps topmew are ready to go on a date but ray stops them?

i guess, before top meets mew, he confronts boston. he doesn't look happy, though. and it's a pattern i'm seeing recently; top doesn't appear happy when he's with boston. this didn't happen before mew.

theories speculate that topmew and bostonnick are in the same place. it's highly likely topmew are having another (supposedly fun) date. but it's ruined when top sees boston and nick. i don't think it's out of jealousy (i hope not) from top's behalf. it's more to anger and fear because what if mew learns about top and boston— here— out of all places? of course, it's a devastation to mew.

this is new to top. he's never afraid of people. never been conscious about himself. but he's afraid of mew. why? because he loves mew, and he doesn't want mew to know he's an asshole that still has some lingering relationship with boston, mew's friend. he doesn't want mew to see that dark side of top coming to life. he can't bear the thought of losing mew because of his (hidden) persona.

from top's point of view, i can conclude that he's getting positive outcomes after encountering mew.

sidetrack: topmew's colour theory (slightly) coming to life

and i would like to add from my colour theory: top is wearing a black and white shirt in this photo— a harmony of the good and bad.

also, i would like to highlight top's shirt is dominantly white which means he's becoming/showing more of his good side after knowing mew. i'm actually proud to see top in these shades, a brighter colour. he's embracing his inner self and mew has been a lot of help. his love for mew brings him out of his dark hole.

but sadly, mew is wearing darker colours. the blue in this photo isn't entirely bright. oh.

and his bag— read me— is like a cry for honesty. mew wants nothing but honesty from top, a person he genuinely likes. but top has always been anything but honest. and that's top's biggest misstep.

mew: a promise of his first heartbreak

i'm glad we haven't seen many sad photos of topmew (as of now). it's intentional because their (possible) break-up is the climax of this story.

hence, i'm extracting still shots from the trailer because mew is visibly heartbroken while confronting top as he discovers about top and boston. but i do find it intriguing that even in the trailer, we don't see much of sad mew.

this is going to be the pinnacle of the drama: mew seeking the truth.

in this post, i've mentioned that mew will confront top at the university.

from the paleness of their faces and the red in their eyes, this is taken after their tearful confrontation. i'm so excited to see this scene unfold because forcebook broke my heart with their raw acting in a boss and a babe (ep 9, you'll forever be epic). this one will be ten times more gut-wrenching, i believe.

it's not nonchalance, but i find mew's expression so watered down? i expect him to be more volatile, in despair and bawl his eyes out after the break-up but here, he goes to the bar and has a drink or two and he just looks so aloof but nothing more?

and i think that's the scariest thing about mew. we don't know what's going on in his mind. the kindest person can be the most evil— mew's vengeance might begin shortly after this.

when the truth unfolds, a heartbreaking chaos

top will endure the hardest blow after their breakup. it's because when their relationship ends, it's when top's feelings begin to overwhelm him. he likes mew, but he can't hold onto him. why?

side note: these days, i feel sorry for top. the more i think about him, the more i understand the inner struggles he's facing. i can't really say i'm a top apologist, but i do understand him. and i want to hug him if i can.

i would like to underline that change is one of the most difficult things to do. let it be me, you or other people, only the bravest will choose a different path— diverging from normality— a route full of surprises and challenges. we're so accustomed to the comfort of simplicity and normalcy that change isn't preferable, yes?

looking from top's perspective, it's hard for him to discard his shell— a safe cacophony of his— despite coming to terms with his feelings for mew. i do want to believe top is taking baby steps to let go of his previous lifestyle, but as long as boston is still around, top can't really escape.

habits die hard— i don't know if i can call it a habit, but i think top might come back to boston just because boston feels like a second skin, once a place to stay. no matter how in love top is with mew, boston is before mew and after mew. something must've tied him around boston so tightly that top can't simply let go. he wants to, but he can't.

despite everything, top still comes back to boston. even if they no longer share the same virtues, boston has become so much of top that if letting go of boston means he's letting go of himself too.

and in top's indecisiveness lies mew's reluctance to forgive. as i've mentioned, mew's idea of a romantic relationship is somewhat naive and unrealistic. yet, it's not absurd because many of us share that ideology: first love should be beautiful, sincere and transparent.

mew handles this heartbreak with anger and so many questions because he thought love should be truthful and kind and gentle but why two of his most precious people are hurting him? mew no longer sees boston as a friend, and top is no longer the love of his life. mew's greatest downfall is his love for top and his trust for boston.

conclusion

i find the concept of first love/true love depicted from the lens of topmew to be heartbreaking. when the pictures of them having fun and enjoying their cute dates together are posted, aside from happiness, i feel an immense sadness for what's to come.

mew is top's first true love in the sense that top discovers his truest self with mew. he gradually opens up and becomes someone he's supposed to be— not need to be. mew is top's first true love in the sense that it scares top to think of the consequences— of his dishonesty to mew— of the truth coming out someday and he'll lose mew— himself— forever.

top is mew's first love in the sense that mew wants to savour every little moment with top, all the fun dates and kisses that awaken the butterflies in his stomach. top is mew's first love in the sense that he wants to pen down everything they share in his journal because mew believes this might be forever— top is his first and true love.

therefore, everything topmew is— their love— only results in two things; happiness and sadness.

side note: although i still don't know if any of my topmew speculations are true, the mock trailer indicates topmew's love story as the 'right person, wrong time'. i'm inclining to topmew's story to be sweet but tragic because it's the driving force of the series. topmew, sanray and bostonnick revolve around each other. like a domino effect, anything that happens to topmew will affect other pairs and vice versa.

to end this post, here are some bonus pictures posted by p'nine because forcebook are always the light at the end of a dark tunnel.

i'm happy to see this. although topmew might shatter, forcebook still stands— stronger and together. the picture on the left is so cute that my heart is breaking. haha

(also, ohmbook are so cute? can i manifest for an ohmbook series next year? hehe)

[1 | 2 | 3 | 4 (i) | 4 (ii) | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12]

[bardofavon]

not to be controversial bc I know this is like…not in line with shifting opinions on fanfic comment culture but if there’s a glaring typo in my work I will NOT be offended by pointing it out. if ao3 fucks up the formatting…I will also not be offended by having this pointed out…

‘looking forward to the next update’ and ‘I hope you update soon!’ are different vibes than a demand, and should be read in good faith because a reader is finding their way to tell you how much they love it. I will not be mad at this.

‘I don’t usually like this ship but this fic made me feel something’ is also incredibly high praise. I’m not going to get mad at this.

even ‘I love this fic but I’m curious about why you made [x] choice’ is just another way a reader is engaging in and putting thought into your work.

I just feel like a lot of authors take any comment that’s not perfectly articulated glowing praise in the exact manner they’re hoping to receive it in bad faith.

fic engagement has been dropping across the board over the last several years, and yes it’s frustrating but it isn’t as though I can’t see how it happens. comment anxiety can be a real thing. the last thing anyone wants to do is offend an author they love, and that means sometimes people default to silence.

idk where I’m going with this I guess aside from saying unless a comment is outright attacking me I’m never going to get mad at it, and I think a lot of authors should feel the same way. ESPECIALLY TYPOS PLZ GOD POINT OUT MY TYPOS.

[tofixtheshadows]

I've been thinking a lot lately about how Kabru deprives himself.

Kabru as a character is intertwined with the idea that sometimes we have to sacrifice the needs of the few for the good of the many. He ultimately subverts this first by sabotaging the Canaries and then by letting Laios go, but in practice he's already been living a life of self-sacrifice.

Saving people, and learning the secrets of the dungeons to seal them, are what's important. Not his own comforts. Not his own desires. He forces them down until he doesn't know they're there, until one of them has to come spilling out during the confession in chapter 76.

Specifically, I think it's very significant, in a story about food and all that it entails, that Kabru is rarely shown eating. He's the deuteragonist of Dungeon Meshi, the cooking manga, but while meals are the anchoring points of Laios's journey, given loving focus, for Kabru, they're ... not.

I'm sure he eats during dungeon expeditions, in the routine way that adventurers must when they sit down to camp. But on the surface, you get the idea that Kabru spends most of his time doing his self-assigned dungeon-related tasks: meeting with people, studying them, putting together that evidence board, researching the dungeon, god knows what else. Feeding himself is secondary.

He's introduced during a meal, eating at a restaurant, just to set up the contrast between his party and Laios's. And it's the last normal meal we see him eating until the communal ending feast (if you consider Falin's dragon parts normal).

First, we get this:

Kabru's response here is such a non-answer, it strongly implies to me that he wasn't thinking about it until Rin brought it up. That he might not even be feeling the hunger signals that he logically knew he should.

They sit down to eat, but Kabru is never drawn reaching for food or eating it like the rest of his party. He only drinks.

It's possible this means nothing, that we can just assume he's putting food in his mouth off-panel, but again, this entire manga is about food. Cooking it, eating it, appreciating it, taking pleasure in it, grounding yourself in the necessary routine of it and affirming your right to live by consuming it. It's given such a huge focus.

We don't see him eat again until the harpy egg.

What a significant question for the protagonist to ask his foil in this story about eating! Aren't you hungry? Aren't you, Kabru?

He was revived only minutes ago after a violent encounter. And then he chokes down food that causes him further harm by triggering him, all because he's so determined to stay in Laios's good graces.

In his flashback, we see Milsiril trying to spoon-feed young Kabru cake that we know he doesn't like. He doesn't want to eat: he wants to be training.

Then with Mithrun, we see him eating the least-monstery monster food he can get his hands on, for the sake of survival- walking mushroom, barometz, an egg. The barometz is his first chance to make something like an a real meal, and he actually seems excited about it because he wants to replicate a lamb dish his mother used to make him!

...but he doesn't get to enjoy it like he wanted to.

Then, when all the Canaries are eating field rations ... Kabru still isn't shown eating. He's only shown giving food to Mithrun.

And of course the next time he eats is the bavarois, which for his sake is at least plant based ... but he still has to use a coping mechanism to get through it.

I don't think Kabru does this all on purpose. I think Kui does this all on purpose. Kabru's Post Traumatic Stress Disorder should be understood as informing his character just as much as Laios's autism informs his. It's another way that Kabru and Laios act as foils: where Laios takes pleasure in meals and approaches food with the excitement of discovery, Kabru's experiences with eating are tainted by his trauma. Laios indulges; Kabru denies himself. Laios is shown enjoying food, Kabru is shown struggling with it.

And I can very easily imagine a reason why Kabru might have a subconscious aversion towards eating.

Meals are the privilege of the living.

[murphycooper]

“i want you to know, i will love you as long as i breathe.”

dune part ii / ojibwa / waiting for this story to end before i begin another, jan heller lev

[seagiri]

can i be sad here for a moment

[timelessbian]

actually that ao3 post about calculating kudos-to-hits ratios to decide if a fic is worth reading has me so pissed off. someone put real time and energy into something they are SHARING WITH YOU FOR FREE on a site where you can quite literally filter and search by anything you want and you're STILL trying to find a foolproof method to find stuff that's "good enough to read"???

YOU ARE NOT THE TARGET AUDIENCE FOR EVERYTHING

you don't have to like or read everything in a given fandom or tag, but you also don't have to be a cunt about it and imply that it's not worth reading. this is the kind of shit that moves people to stop creating altogether, and to see people agreeing in the tags is so disheartening. absolutely unserious behavior.

[stromblessed]

Mizu, femininity, and fallen sparrows

In my last post about Mizu and Akemi, I feel like I came across as overly critical of Mizu given that Mizu is a woman who - in her own words - has to live as a man in order to go down the path of revenge.

If she is ever discovered to be female by the wrong person, she will not only be unable to complete her quest, but there's a good chance that she'll be arrested or killed.

So it makes complete sense for Mizu to distance herself as much as possible from any behavior that she feels like would make someone question her sex.

I felt so indignant toward Mizu on my first couple watchthroughs for this moment. Why couldn't Mizu bribe the woman and her child's way into the city too? If Mizu is presenting as a man, couldn't she claim to be the woman's escort?

However, this moment makes things pretty clear. Mizu knows all too well the plight of women in her society. She knows it so well that she cannot risk ever finding herself back in their position again. She helps in what little way she can - without drawing attention to herself.

Mizu is not a hero and she is not one to make of herself a martyr - she will not set herself on fire to keep others warm. There's room to argue that Mizu shouldn't prioritize her quest over people's lives, but given the collateral damage Mizu can live with in almost every episode of season 1, Mizu is simply not operating under that kind of morality at this point. ("You don't know what I've done to reach you," Mizu tells Fowler.)

And while I still feel like Mizu has an obvious and established blind spot when it comes to Akemi because of their differences in station, such that Mizu's judgment of Akemi and actions in episode 5 are the result of prejudice rather than the result of Mizu's caution, I also want to establish that Mizu is just as caged as Akemi is, despite her technically having more freedom while living as a man.

Mizu can hide her mixed race identity some of the time, and she can hide her sex almost all of the time, but being able to operate outside of her society's strict rules for women does not mean she cannot see their plight.

It does not mean she doesn't hurt for them.

Back to Mizu and collateral damage, remember that sparrow?

While Mizu is breaking into Boss Hamata's manse, she gets startled by a bird and kills it on reflex. She then cradles it in her hands - much more tenderly than we've seen Mizu treat almost anything up to this point in the season:

She then puts it in its nest, with its unhatched eggs. Almost like she's trying to make the death look natural. Or like an accident.

You see where I'm going with this.

When Mizu kills Kinuyo, Mizu lingers in the moment, holding the body tenderly:

And btw a lot of stuff about this show hit me hard, but this remains the biggest gut punch of them all for me, Mizu holding that poor girl's body close, GOD

When Mizu arranges the "scene of the crime," Kinuyo's body is delicate, birdlike. And Mizu is so shaken afterward that she gets sloppy. She's horrified at this kill to the point that she can't bring herself to take another innocent life - the boy who rats her out.

MIZU'S ONE MOMENT OF SOFTNESS AND MERCY, COMING ON THE HEELS OF HER NEEDING TO KILL A GIRL TO SPARE HER THE WORST FATE THAT THIS RIGID SOCIETY HAS TO OFFER WOMEN, AND TO SPARE A BROTHEL FULL OF INNOCENT WOMEN WHO ARE THE CASTOFFS OF SOCIETY, NEARLY RESULTS IN ALL OF THEIR DEATHS

No wonder Mizu is as stoic and cold as she is.

And no wonder Mizu has no patience for Akemi whatsoever right before the terrible reveal and the fight breaks out:

Speaking of Akemi - guess who else is compared to a bird!

The plumage is more colorful, a bit flashier. But a bird is a bird.

And, uh

Yeah.

I like to think that Mizu killing the sparrow is not only foreshadowing for what she must do to Kinuyo, but is also a representation of the choice she makes on Akemi's behalf. She decides to cage the bird because she believes the bird is "better off." Better off caged than... dead.

But because Mizu doesn't know Akemi or her situation, she of course doesn't realize that the bird is fated to die if it is caged and sent back home.

Mizu is clearly not happy, or pleased, or satisfied by allowing Akemi to be dragged back to her father:

But softness and mercy haven't gotten Mizu anywhere good, recently.

There is so much tragedy layered into Mizu's character, and it includes the things she has to witness and the choices she makes - or believes she has to make - involving women, when she herself can skirt around a lot of what her society throws at women. Although, I do believe that it comes at the cost of a part of Mizu's soul.

After all, I'm gonna be haunted for the rest of this show by Mizu's very first prayer in episode 1:

"LET" her die. Because as Ringo points out, she doesn't "know how" to die.

Kind of like another bird in this show:

[swordfright]

this might just be because i'm a bit older than your average mcyt fan, but it makes me kind of sad to see all these younger fans scramble to wipe their mcyt fanworks off the internet the second a content creator is revealed to have done something awful.

don't get it twisted, I'm a big believer in rescinding financial support to ccs you no longer agree with or admire by unsubscribing, deciding not to buy merch, or refusing to give them ad revenue by watching their content. if you don't feel comfortable giving someone money, don't give them your money. material support isn't what i'm talking about here - I'm talking about fanfic, fansongs, fanart. yknow, content that fans create for themselves and each other, stuff that's not for ccs.

in the past year (and especially the past week, obviously) i've seen tons of mcyt fans saying they're planning to delete their art (or that they already have deleted) because they don't want their work to be associated with content creators who behaved badly, and that they want "a fresh start." I've seen fan writers say the same thing about their fics. and like, this is fine, do what you want with your stuff, but i'll be honest...it does make me sad that so many younger fans seemingly have been made to feel such a high degree of responsibility for ccs that they're unable to enjoy fandom (a thing that is FOR US! FOR YOU!) or take any measure of pride in their past fanworks.

again, at the end of the day you should do what you want with your own shit. but what i will say is, if what you want to do with your work is delete it, at least think first about why you're considering the nuclear option. you aren't responsible for a cc's behavior, and that goes for literally anyone who's ever had a hand in making anything you like: books, movies, games, anything. you shouldn't be made to feel ashamed of having created fan content for a piece of media that a shitty person was involved in making. straight up, this kind of shame isn't something i believe should exist in fandom, because it's parasocial in the same way that positive emotions towards media/creators can be parasocial.

and also, as someone who's been involved in fandom for a long time, i can say with confidence that creators will keep disappointing you like this. there are shitty people out there. if you're searching for a piece of media with zero shitty people ever involved in the project, you will not find it. i'm not saying this to normalize shitty behavior on the part of creators, I'm saying this to emphasize that bearing the shame and guilt of every creator to this degree is not sustainable or healthy (and it's not how fandom used to operate, but that's a conversation for another day, perhaps.)

i understand why so many folks are considering deleting their fanworks, and if that's you...think about it before you do it. that's all i'm asking. you don't want to create a habit of divesting yourself of all evidence of having been passionate about art created by someone who sucks, because if you do get into that habit, then your chances of ever truly enjoying a fandom again are, unfortunately, pretty slim.

[monhiio]

Bingge you loser... you absolute BAFOON

[mourning-at-night]

jace i don’t feel good was so funny but also made me so sad. like that’s a teenager with a strawberry squishmallow keychain and a tamagotchi and she doesn’t feel good and she's tugging on a teacher’s sleeve about it. a teacher who should have been responsible for protecting her in the first place and didn’t. who is manipulating and using her and her friends to help fulfill the desires of a wrathful power-hungry egomaniac. porter and jace it’s on sight >:(

[journey-to-the-attic]

approximation of an idea i had for how ik solves levi's ordeal whenever it's his turn for this weird demon puberty everyone in nb s2 is having

from this post

[14dayswithyou]

💖 Day 3.5 is now available! 💖

For the last couple of months, only Server Boosters had access to the 3.5 update... Buuuuut now it's available for everyone to play in the 14DWY Discord — and soon itch.io once I'm happy with the QA and state of the game — so please don't feel pressured to join unless you want to!!

The full devlog + even more screenshots are under the cut ^^

What's been added to the 3.5 version?

📺 Streamer Mode!

I've been told that it's difficult to stream and monetise age-restricted videos on YouTube and Twitch, so I added an option to remove the sexual content and strong language used in the demo.

Now y'all can invite Ren into your bed for cuddles without putting your streamer career on the line /silly /lh

This won't affect the 18+ rating or dark themes/elements of the game, however! Although Streamer Mode will prevent you from seeing any "gruesome" CGs in the future, most of the core elements of the game will still be tied to the choices and decisions you make. So you won't miss out on the overall experience by using streamer mode!!

⚙️ Custom Pronouns!

It only took me one entire year to get around to it, but you can finally choose your own preferred pronouns (or use a set of pronouns instead)... At the cost of being able to change them mid-game ^^;

Since the original pronoun screen wouldn't update until a new scene was displayed, I temporarily disabled the feature. But once I find a workaround, I'll bring it back!

💗 Choose how others perceive you!

You can now choose how the cast and narration perceive you! Originally, the narration was kept strictly gender-neutral (outside of pronouns and genitalia picked by the player), but this will soon change in future updates.

For more clarity: you don't get to choose the words specifically, but you can choose between masculine, feminine, and androgynous terms!

📋 Separate top and bottom genitalia!

You can now choose your tatas and pps separately! >:3

Alongside that, you can also choose your preferred body type!

I removed the "both" genitalia option because a few players still assumed it was an obscure version of "intersex". That wasn't my intention and I don't want to mislead anyone, so I took it out for now ^^;

I also didn't want to include a screenshot of the new genitalia choices in action (because it's NSFW), so y'all get the same character menu screen for the nth time instead lmao

📱 Relationship Screen Overhaul!

You can now change your own status for more immersion, and long-term Server Boosters will eventually be able to submit and use their own icon within the game as well!

Stalking finding your friends has now become easier by using "Buddy Maps"; a new app that allows you to see the location of all the cast members!

I want to offer players more incentive to check the relationship screen since they tend to miss the status updates, so hopefully this might help ;v;

It also says it "updates every few hours" so folks don't go overboard and check every 5 seconds to see where Ren is gdsghf (also keep in mind that he's a hacker lol)

🖤 Additional Scenes Update!

Day 2 received a brand new CG!!!!! Originally, I planned on only adding a few CGs sporadically throughout the game, but it didn't feel right to leave Day 2 so... empty... so I added a brand new CG to (hopefully) make things feel more balanced and natural!

If you decline Teo's offer on Day 3, Leon will now call and try to convince you to reconsider. However, players are still allowed to decline, and if they do, they'll reach a dead end.

After listening to feedback on itch, I changed some of the dialogue during Days 1-3 to make it seem more consistent! They're only small changes though, so it's honestly not worth looking for sdgjssga

🎶 Updated BGM and SFX!

I wanted to try out a different style of music to see if it fits the vibe of 14DWY more! The BGM features more acoustics to suit the "beachy" theme of Corland Bay, though I made a conscious effort to include piano elements as well to stay true to the original!!

I figured it'd be better to give players a live example before I make a poll (to see if they prefer the change or not) and publish it to Itch.

Some new SFX have also been added, though it's very minimal and honestly not that noticeable.

How to download and play the update?

(warning: clicking on the following links will open Discord!!) To download the Day 3.5 update, simply join the 14DWY Discord server, verify your age, and visit the "14dwy-updates" channel!

Alternatively, you can also wait until the update is publicly released on Itch to play it as well!! (It normally gets released shortly after a round of QA testing/getting feedback from the server, though I may release it earlier if I feel like it hehe ^^)

Enjoy!!

[brother-emperors]

something. about. the horror of being sent on an impossible (death) quest and obligations and hospitality politics. the trauma of not having a home, and then the trauma of being in a house that becomes actively hostile to you, one that would swallow you whole and spit out your bones if you step out of line. all of this is conditional, your existence continues to be something men want gone.

it's about going back as far as I can with the perseus narrative because there's always a version of a myth that exists behind the one that survives. the missing pieces are clearly defined, but the oldest recorded version of it isn't there! and there's probably something older before that!! but it's doomed to forever be an unfilled space, clearly defined by an outline of something that was there and continues to be there in it's absence.

and love. it's also about love. even when you had nothing, you had love.

on the opposite side of the spectrum, this is Not About Ovid Or Roman-Renaissance Reception, Depictions And Discourses On The Perseus Narrative.

edit: to add to the above, while it's not about Ovid, because I'm specifically trying to peel things back to the oldest version of this story, Ovid is fine. alterations on the Perseus myth that give more attention Medusa predate Ovid by several centuries. this comic is also not about those, either! there are many versions of this story from the ancient world. there is not one singular True or Better version, they're all saying something.

Perseus, Daniel Ogden

Anthology of Classical Myth: Primary Sources in Translation, edited & translated by Stephen M Trzaskoma, R. Scott Smith, Stephen Brunet

[ro5ani]

I can't stop thinking about the scene where Ivan finds Till and nuzzles his head against his. He was on that banquet for the same reason as Till, most likely went through the same treatment with the only difference being that he doesn't fight it so it will be less painful (but it isn't really)

So i think he not only felt bad about Till but for both of them. I've seen a lot of takes that say he didn't kiss Till because Till was unconscious and he knew that it was wrong after what Till went through, but i think a kiss didn't even occur to him.

He got out of that banquet and immediately looked for Till, perhaps out of just worry but i think he needs that human comfort as well.

His eyes were glassy the moment he looked at Till, he was keeping it together until he saw him.

And then he just... holds him close

[onawhimsicot]

i know not many people would want to read a 10,000 word article about the minecraft end poem and how the author, Julian Gough, was never fairly compensated for his work and has made it public domain.

But it's a very well-written and heartfelt read, and he makes it very clear that none of this is a cash-grab and despite the fact that he is essentially a starving artist in this capitalist society, he only mentions his financial struggles despite Minecraft's huge huge success at the bottom of this article and not in the tweets so as to not dilute his message.

Anyway, I just think it'd be cool if those who are able to could support him in some way whether it be subscribing to his substack or donating to his paypal (that's linked in the article, you can ctrl + F to find it easier), that's all.