#this probably isn't that funny but IT IS TO ME

[envy-of-the-apple]

Hihihihi!! Happy Belated Bday!!!! I hope you had a good day 💗

Just wanna say again I love ya writing 🤍 Question for the Naha AU, Would the Naga hatchlings be able to speak English since they grew up around reader? And do you think Satoru and Suguru would develop more speech the longer they’re around reader?

Could y’all maybe stop giving me ideas for the naga au??? This isn't very nice

Top of the Food Chain pt 3

Part One Part two

(Dark!naga!Satosugu x reader)

(Warnings: implied forced relationship, yandere, dark content etc etc)

"I saw a shark today."

That certainly caught your attention.

"I'm sorry, you what?"

"Triangle fins, sharp teeth," Nobara casually continues, "a shark."

You move, more worried than upset. "Did it attack you? Are you okay?"

You glance down at her body. In just a few years, she'd grown to be slightly smaller than you. In terms of looks, she's resembles a human pre-teen. Compared to her brothers, she looks more human too. Her hair can hide the fins that protrude where her ears should be. Her eyes are more human, rounder. If it weren't for her tail, swishing in the water behind her, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

"We did fight." Nobara grins. Sharp teeth, just like her fathers'.

"Not funny," you reply.

"We did! Can you guess who won? I'll give you a hint: she's right in front of you."

She manages to pull a laugh out of you. You shake your head at her, more exasperated than anything else.

"No more fighting any more sharks," you tell her, but when she grins wider, you know she won't listen.

In human years, she's barely an infant. In Naga years, she's barely a teenager. Yet, she's so independent. Nobara started hunting for herself as soon as she started staying in the water around the clock. Not even Yuji and Megumi became this hands-off, despite both being larger than her.

It's probably why you had a soft spot for her. You'd never admit this to the other two hatchlings, but Nobara was your favorite (and you had a feeling she knew it, too). She resembles you in a way. Different, from the rest of the group. A bit isolated. It doesn't help that neither of her fathers seemed to be interested in her as soon as she started venturing into the water. You can count the number of times they've visited her on your hand. And you were pretty sure it had more to do with the fact you were with her, rather than Nobara herself.

She was alone. Much like you are.

The siren hums, giving you a small 'aye captain', which causes you to laugh again. Despite how uncaring she appeared, you were certain Nobara liked it when you worried for her. Cared about her. You just wished she wouldn't go to extremes just to get your attention.

Her expression brightens just then. Her tail swishes, creating small waves as she rises up. You were a few feet away, right at the bank, looking down at her as she wiggled.

"Oh! I found more human things!" She excitedly told you.

"Did you?" you ask, tilting your head, smiling.

There's a nod, before she's diving down, disappearing into the depths. She comes back up to the surface a few minutes later, depositing a few trinkets onto the bank.

It's your fault for instilling such a curiosity for humans. She was the first to pick up your tongue, practically a native speaker by the time she started to swim. Because of her ability to venture into the ocean, she started picking up strange objects, returning back to you. You and her would sit for hours, sifting through the stuff she brought. Her fascination with humankind thrilled you. You were always more than willing to share your knowledge with Nobara.

"What are they?" she asks in pure fascination.

"Hm, let's see," you reply, looking through the stuff.

It was a rather small haul. You didn't mind. She's found a couple of interesting things today.

"Oh, a claw clip," you note, picking the plastic contraption with both hands, "you use this to hold your hair, to get it out of your face."

It's pretty. Cheap looking, but ultimately pretty. You like the designs. It's a pretty color too. Periwinkle.

Nobara looks at the hair ornament with wonder.

"A claw clip." She tries.

"Here, I'll show you. Turn around." You tell her.

She does as she's told, swishing in the water. You lean over the bank, grabbing her beautiful hair. You needed to be careful. Nagafolk have more sensitive hair than yours but she doesn't seem to mind your fumbling. When you're finished adjusting the clip, you ask her to look at her reflection in the water.

"Well?" you ask.

"Wow," she gushes, "I look so cute!"

You laugh, light and airy. She beams at you, and for a moment, she looks like a kid, with no sharp teeth, no desire to go shark hunting.

"What else?" she asks, moving back to the bank.

You hum, picking up the book next. It was soggy from all the time it had spent in the water. You could somewhat make out what was on the title. But the ink on the inside was completely ruined.

"Books don't do well in water," you tell her with a pitied smile, "sorry."

She frowns but urges you to explain the last object. You'd been purposefully saving it for last. In a strange way, it was sentimental to you.

"A camera," you explain, "you can use it to take pictures."

"Pictures?" Nobara echoes.

"Remember those photographs you found last week? Pictures and photographs are the same thing." Nobara nods at your explanation.

She takes the camera from your fingers, examining it.

"We can get pictures from this?" She asks, and you can't help but note the excitement in her tone.

"Not from this camera no," you tell her, "Human technology and water don't mix."

She huffs. Her expression oddly reminds you of Suguru's whenever Satoru did something disappointing. She truly was her father's daughter.

"That's stupid," she finally tells you and you have to throw your head up and laugh. Your shoulders shake. You can catch a hint of a smile from her before she goes back to examining the camera.

It's cheap, one of those disposable ones you'd find at the check-out aisle at a grocery store. It was a hassle to take care of, working with the film, taking it to someone who could turn it into something visual. You knew that because-

"-We took a camera just like this for our trip," you start, "We were supposed to take pictures of every island that we visited. Something we could have taken home with us."

The cruise. The explosion. You washing up on this hellhole of an island. It felt like years ago, but how long ago was it? You'd already lost your sense of time.

"Mom?"

You glance up. Her eyes are thoughtful, staring you down. Too wide, you can't help but think. Her eyes are too wide to be human. Because she isn't human. She wasn't one of you.

"If you could, would you leave?"

It takes you a moment to process her words. You can't formulate a response, not quickly enough. This should be the time when you become the adult she's looking for. When you coddle her and assure her that you will never leave her.

When you open your mouth, nothing comes out.

The reason why Nobara was your favorite, was because she was a lot more smarter than you.

Her eyes flick down. Her hands, still holding the camera, grip tighter threatening to break-

Then, she straightens herself. Posture righted, angled, taut. Her fins flare out before flattening. She could smell them coming.

You, on the other hand, heard them before you saw them.

A breaking of twigs, a silent hiss. You expect it, yet you still flinch when a clawed hand rests on your shoulder.

You can feel yourself deflate. Times up.

In front of you, Nobara frowns, unimpressed. You can feel Satoru nuzzle his face into your neck. Suguru is clicking something to the hatchling. In turn, her face curls into a sneer. She hisses something back.

You hate it when they do this, ignore you in favor of speaking a language you'd never understand. Satoru and Suguru would always gleefully leave you out. Nobara, however, was far more accommodating.

"What's he saying?" You ask her.

She huffs, crossing her arms and looking away.

"He asked if I took you out to the open ocean."

You glance at Suguru, hoping your face is as disapproving as you feel. Suguru meets your gaze, a silent challenge.

"Did you?" A new voice comes.

Yuji appears first out of the foliage with a bright smile and wide eyes. He's followed by his second oldest sibling. Megumi gives a slight warning hiss when his youngest sibling almost barrels him over.

"I didn't!" Nobara insists, glaring at Yuji. He only grins back, glinting his sharp fangs. Smile of a predator, you think to yourself.

"Nothing like that happened." You turned to Suguru, "We just stayed here. I never left."

It was a promise to both of them, one you hope none of the hatchlings heard. Or at least, paused enough to decipher.

Yuji and Megumi slither up to greet you despite you still being trapped in Satoru's hold. The larger naga huffs, not happy with the sudden attention you're receiving. You ignore Satoru, smiling when Megumi briefly touches your arm in affection. Yuji gently leans down to bump foreheads.

"I don't get why you two had to come along," Satoru says, his tone light, but you can still sense the annoyance. His hold over you becomes ever so slightly constricting. Even all these years, and he's still terrified of you being taken away.

They both are, even when Suguru tries to deny his paranoia.

Yuji pouts at his father's words. He turns to you.

"You were gone forever." He whines. "We got worried."

When Megumi glances away, you know he shares the sentiment. It's nice to know that despite their reptilian features, you could still instill a semblance of humanity within these three.

"I didn't mean to scare you," You say, not just talking to the hatchlings, "I wanted to spend time with Nobara for a bit. Look at the things she brought!"

You mention to the human artifacts. In response, Suguru picks up the camera with sharp claws. Neither Suguru nor Satoru had ever been interested in the things humanity tossed on their shores.

The boys follow in their father's footsteps. Yuji only nods, Megumi doesn't even bother giving a response. No matter how hard you tried, only Nobara was truly interested in human culture.

To prove your point, she hisses, her fins flattening to the sides when Suguru handles the camera too roughly for her taste.

"Careful!" She warns. "Don't break it."

An amused smile before Suguru tosses the camera in her direction. She catches it just before it hits the water, still scowling. He doesn't react to your look of disapproval. Satoru laughs, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck.

Suguru titters something in her direction. Nobara hisses. Yuji and Megumi also stiffen. You fight the urge to sigh. You don't need a translator to know what he's saying.

"Megumi, Yuji," you call, "stay with your sister for a bit, please? Your fathers and I need to talk for a bit."

Yuji's more than happy to dive into the water with his sister. She squabbles with him, dunking his head under the water in an attempt of casual drowning. Megumi's the one who hesitates. You've always thought he knew more than he let on.

You give him an encouraging smile.

"Go on."

You wait until their heads dip underwater. Then, you wait a few moments more, prolonging the inevitable.

"You shouldn't scare them like that." You finally say, not looking at either of them. "They're just kids."

"She's old enough to understand the dangers of you being in the water," Suguru responds.

"Of course she is, but she doesn't need constant reminders." You're not arguing. You're not arguing. "They—the hatchlings—don't need to see me as weak."

"But you are." Satoru playfully says. As if to prove it, he curls his hands around your hips and waist, easily hoisting you into his arms. You knew better than to struggle, reluctantly putting your arms around his neck.

"I know my own weaknesses. They don't need to coddle me. I get that enough from you two."

Satoru shrugs, burying his head back into your neck, soaking in your warmth.

"In any case," Suguru continues his earlier conversation. You watch as he glides over, a clawed arm caressing your shoulder, "you shouldn't be out with her for so long. The boys will start to notice your favoritism sooner or later."

You frown at his words. "I'm not playing favorites. At least Megumi and Yuji have each other. Nobara's out here all alone."

Nobara had fully developed her gills when she was just a year old. The more she spent her time out in the ocean, the more worried you got for her loneliness.

Suguru hums at your words, tracing your legs.

"She won't be lonely for long. Aren't the females migrating this season, Satoru?"

The other naga nods. "Yeah, this new moon. She'll make plenty of friends in the open ocean."

You blink at Satoru's words, trying to sit up from his embrace. He just huffs in annoyance, gripping you tighter.

"She—Nobara's leaving?" You ask.

Suguru smiles, enjoying your naivety.

"Of course, my love. All hatchlings do. Soon enough, Megumi and Yuji will go out and scout their own territories. Don't human young leave their parents once they're old enough?"

They do. You have. But in human years, Nobara, Megumi, and Yuji are still toddlers. In naga years, they're barely teenagers. To you, they're still babies. They're so young. Would they be able to fend for themselves out there?

Nobara asked if you could leave, would you. Maybe she wasn't just asking for your sake.

"If anything, that's good for us!" Satoru exclaims. "The caves' getting too crowded. It'd be nice to finally get to stretch out again."

Suguru nods in agreement. When you don't share their joy, he leans down to your eye level.

"You'll miss them, hm?" He asks.

You nod. There's no need to lie. He laughs at your honesty, kissing your cheek.

"I'm sure they'll visit from time to time," he assures, "hatchlings don't typically have any sentiment for their parents, but I'm sure the three will make an exception for you."

"Besides," Satoru pipes in. "The nest won't be empty for too long."

You look up at him in mild alarm.

"What do you mean by that?"

Suguru gives his mate a soft smile.

"This was our first mating season," he explains, "a success, I'd like to call it. We'll have many more sets of hatchlings in the future."

They both peer down at you. Eyes turn to slits. Purple and blue.

"And you'll be a wonderful parent to all of them. Just like you were to our first three."

[letstrip13]

can you plz make a Chris fanfic similar to the "teach me" fanfic of matt? Except the reader likes Chris and was actually experienced and just wants to fck him? 🙏🏻🙏🏻 If you're comfortable ofc

🎱 - liar, liar

reader x chris

summary: you and chris remember an old pact from high school. what happens when you lie to him for your own pleasure?

warnings: smut, unprotected sex, oral m!receiving

word count: 1,844

author's note: i added those cute lil pictures to all my fics and i love how they turned out!! you can look at them on my masterlist if you want :)

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you and your three best friends walk through the front door of their LA house. you'd known each other since middle school, meeting nick in math class then being introduced to chris and matt soon after. you turned twenty just a few weeks ago. since the triplets had been too caught up in their work to visit you in boston at the time, they cleared their schedules and flew you out to have their own celebration with you. you had arrived this morning and they had taken you anywhere you wanted to go during the day before giving you presents and taking you out to dinner and a movie.

you ended off the night by filming a car video with them. it's the first time you've appeared on their channel. it was something along the lines of, “best friend of triplets answers questions about being the best friend of triplets.” they'd already done similar videos with their parents and their older brother, justin. you're understandably a bit worried about the fans, you've seen the way they are. but you know that you're just best friends with the triplets, nothing more.

well, maybe just a little more when it came to chris. you couldn't help it. he was by far the hottest guy you know. and that damn smile. he flashes you one of those signature, charming smiles as he leads you to his bedroom after you both say goodnight to his brothers.

he lets you change in his bathroom while he does so in his room. you change into sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt, take your makeup off, and brush your teeth. he catches your eye as you switch, you getting into his bed while he goes into his bathroom, and you notice he's only wearing boxers and a white t-shirt.

you get comfortable in his bed, leaning against the headboard and pulling the blankets up to cover your legs. his door is semi-open and you can see him standing at the sink, brushing his teeth. “forgetting something?” you tease, referring to his lack of pants. “nope,” chris responds, mumbling due to the toothpaste filling his mouth. he spits loudly and rinses his mouth before washing his face and joining you in bed.

neither of you are tired yet, the excitement of getting to hang out after so long keeping you awake and giving you a little buzz of energy. you spend what feels like hours reminiscing on all the fun memories you had in high school. after talking about a particularly funny time in senior year, leaving you both in a fit of giggles, he speaks up. “hey, remember that pact we made?” he asks between laughs.

it takes you a moment to figure out what he meant. he was referring to a pact you made probably around four or five years ago now: if one or both of you were still virgins by the time you're twenty, you'd sleep together. your laughs slow to a stop. was he going somewhere with this? “yeah, i do.” “well..?” he asks.

you didn't think he'd take it seriously at all, it was just a dumb thing you made up in high school. but chris is the type of guy to keep his word no matter what and you know exactly what he's implying.

chris isn't a virgin, he's told you about the few hookups he's had. but he doesn't know that you've had a few as well. whether or not you two follow through with this pact is completely reliant on your answer. you've always wanted to sleep with him anyways, so what's the harm in a little lie?

“yes, i'm still a virgin.” a smile lights up his face at your words. “do you actually want to go through with this?” he asks with a nervous chuckle. you respond by kissing him which he's a little caught off guard by. considering you'd supposedly never done this before, wouldn't you be more unsure, or even shy? he didn't pay any mind to it, eagerly deepening the kiss and putting his hands up your shirt.

you pull away briefly to remove each other's shirts before chris pulls you in, immediately connecting his lips to yours. his fingers find their way to your nipples, eliciting whimpers from you as he pulls and teases them. you move your hand down to the bulge in his boxers, feeling his cock growing harder as you palm him through the fabric.

he lets out a soft groan, pulling away. “get on your knees for me, sweetheart.” he stands up as you get on your knees in front of him. you tug his boxers down, his hard cock springing up and hitting his lower stomach. precum leaks from the tip and you teasingly lick it off while you look up at him through your lashes. he makes a noise that sounds something like a combination of a sigh of pleasure and a whimper. you swirl your tongue around the tip before wrapping your lips around it. he shifts his hips forward, causing you to take him deeper in your mouth.

he grabs your hair, forming a makeshift ponytail to hold it out of the way for you as you work more of his shaft into your mouth. you move your mouth as far down as you can go before bringing it back up so your lips are wrapped around the tip before going back down again. you repeat this action, starting out slow but getting faster after a bit. you stroke the few inches at the base that you can't fit in your mouth.

your skills impressed yet confused chris; you claimed to be a virgin yet it was clear that you had experience. the thought didn't linger for very long at all, disappearing as quickly as it came. “fuck, you're taking me so well,” he praises you with a moan, throwing his head back in pleasure.

you slowly pull away letting his cock out of your mouth with a soft pop. his eyebrows furrow in disappointment but the look quickly fades when you stand up in front of him and take off the clothes remaining on your lower half.

you sit on the bed, your head against the pillows. chris gets on too, hovering over you as he presses a heated kiss to your lips. he slowly trails one of his hands down, ghosting his thumb over your clit. your hips buck up slightly, craving more of his touch. he pulls away, kissing down your neck as he pushes one finger into you. he sucks light marks into your skin as he pumps in and out, soon adding a second finger while his thumb rubs circles on your clit, leaving you moaning under him.

he pulls his fingers out slowly and brings his hands down to your hips to flip you over. now you're on your hands and knees, facing the headboard while he's on his knees behind you. he teasingly rubs his cock against your entrance but you don't want to wait around for that. you need to feel him inside you. “chris, please. no teasing.” you arch your back, pushing your ass back against him. “can't wait to feel you.”

he moves one hand up to your waist as he uses the other to guide his cock into you, causing you both to moan at the feeling. he starts thrusting at an agonizingly slow pace but he's still hitting all the right spots. “f-faster please,” you whine.

he complies and speeds up his movement while bringing his hands down to your ass, loving the way it feels against his palms as he kneads it. “i fucking love your ass,” he moans out as he gives it a slap, causing you to whimper at the painful sensation. “i always have.” he gently rubs his palm over the area, soothing the pain he caused you.

your moans have grown louder as that familiar feeling starts to build up, you're getting close. chris grabs both your arms and holds your wrists together behind your back with one of his hands. he gently pushes the back of your head down so your face is buried in his pillows, muffling your cries of pleasure. he lets go of your wrists and moves his hands back to your hips, holding you steady as you arch your back.

“i-i'm close,” you moan, muffled by the pillows. chris gets more aggressive with his thrusts, his fingers digging into your hips which you're sure will leave little bruises. your eyes roll back as he hits spots so deep, so perfectly, in a way you never thought was possible. it only takes a single minute for you to be crying out into the pillow, your legs shaking as you cum on his cock.

his orgasm follows closely behind yours. “fuck-” he groans, pulling out and shooting his warm, sticky load all over your ass and lower back. he grabs a t-shirt and cleans you up. you turn over and get out of bed, both of you getting dressed. he holds out his hand for you to take, which you do. “come on, let's go upstairs. i'll get you water and something to eat.” “okay, thank you.”

you follow him out of his room and upstairs to the kitchen, being careful not to wake anyone. you lean on the counter and you feel a small twinge of guilt gnawing at you for lying to chris. he hands you a bottle of water from the fridge. you open it and take a sip. “chris, i have to tell you something..” he looks away from the cabinet he was searching in for snacks. “yeah, what's up?”

you take a deep breath, nervous for what his reaction might be. he wasn't the type to get angry with you much but you worried you had crossed a line. “i lied to you. i wasn't actually a virgin. i just said that so you'd fuck me because i knew you wouldn't otherwise.” you look down, avoiding his gaze and preparing yourself for him to get angry.

but it never comes. instead he just laughs. you look up at him, your expression laced with confusion. “i know. you're a terrible liar.” “what?” you ask, partly out of confusion from his response and partly because he called you a terrible liar. it couldn't have been that unbelievable. “oh come on. if you say you're a virgin, at least pretend you don't know how to suck a dick.” this leaves you speechless and all that leaves your lips is a laugh.

he turns back around to look for snacks. “want some animal crackers?” he asks, offering you the open box. “sure,” you reach into the box and grab a few. you eat one before breaking the silence. “you're the best i've ever had, you know.” “of course i am. it's me,” he replies in a teasing tone with that charming smile of his. you roll your eyes and throw an animal cracker at him. of course he was.

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author's note part 2: actually go look, you won't regret it. it won't take long and it's definitely worth it cause they're really cute. idk why i didn't add them sooner

author's note part 3: you should totally go look. please?

author's note part 4: can you tell i want everyone to see them? have i convinced you yet? okay i'll stop now thanks for reading!!

୨୧⋆｡˚ tags: @chrissturniolosbitch @christhopersturniolo @mattscurlygirly @fratbrochrisgf @d3axplr @junnniiieee07 @rubyjaneaxx @leakedsturns @remussbitch @ccolleenn @sturnpooks @ribread03 joinnnn <3

[wttcsms]

I feel like Kageyama is the type to casually and randomly reveal that he has a girlfriend to his teammates. Everyone’s engaging in boys’ locker room talk after a good game, some guy on the Japan team talking about the girls he scored at a nightclub last night. Soon enough, everyone’s joining in and leaving poor Kageyama out because they don’t think he’d relate to them getting laid💀

i wholeheartedly believe that kageyama is definitely a private but not secret type of person 😭 especially if his girlfriend isn't famous; he knows how awful the media and even his fans can be (the fact that he KNOWS he's referred to as one of the "hot" volleyball players and fans watch bc of his attractiveness will never not be funny). if anything, ushijima probably also knows because kageyama doesn't keep you a secret — he just doesn't see the need in bringing you up during vulgar locker room talk.

like, one day, ushijima just asks him where did he get the bento from and kageyama is just like "oh, my girlfriend made it for me" and ushi is just like "oh ok" and that's that.

what really gets the whole locker room to shut up and stop them from teasing kageyama is when, after a particularly long night with you, he's taking off his shirt and everyone is gawking at the scratches you left on his back last night. he's definitely beating the virgin allegations with that one!

[cantputmetorest]

Actual Childe headcanons because I'm insane from the mischaracterization on social media

Note : It's funny how most of my posts are just complaining about how poeple write the characters, but I swear that I am just passionate about love and I hate the way people portray some characters.

This will mostly be debunking the headcanons from tiktok tbh 😭 (this is x reader btw)

- He is NOT a kinky daddy who will call you a slut. This thing just drives me crazy, look at this man. He will be the GENTLEST lover you could ever get ffs. He'll treat you like a glass, once you are a part of his family he will literally turn teyvat downside up for you.

- He won't rape you and force you to have his children, this shit is the worst headcanon I ever saw here on tumblr and I saw a lot of fanfics with it. Like, how can you even think of that???? Why tf would you hc a character to be a rapist.

- Talking about children, yes he would want to have children with you but he won't. He is a harbinger, having kids would probably put them in risk and I don't think he would have enough time to take care of them, yes he has time to see teucer and the rest of his family, but they are siblings, they have their mother at home. Childe would have to be 24/7 with his kids and it would take time from his job and from seeing his family so absolutely no. This popular belief isn't bad and I like it but I just see no possibility of him actually having kids.

- and i'm kinda unsure about all that sparring thing, yes he is competetive and loves to fight, but honestly I don't know if he either would love to have a gentle spar with you or would never raise his finger at you even in a spar.

- and for gods sake, he is not a flirty pervert ☠️☠️ people saw him flirt like a few times and make him into some kind of horndog istg. I don't think he would flirt or tease you that much tho, i think these things are sort of playful things and if he takes your relationship seriously, he'd be afraid you won't like him.

- His mama raised him right, he absolutely acts like gentleman and lets you do anything to him. Open doors for you, takes your coat off, cooks for you and shit, he'd 100% would let you do his makeup. Tonia probably did that to him like 29483 times already.

- never does anything without consent, always makes sure you're alright with everything.

- now to the bad side of his because no one is perfect, I think he would isolate himself on bad day.

- He would tell you that everything is alright even if you see its not a true, which would make you guilty because he does a lot for you and doesn't let you do anything for him, he probably has no idea it hurts you.

- Would give you silent threatment if he is upset, he doesn't want to say anything he'd regret when he is emotional so he figures out it's better to ignore you.

Well this is it atm, I will perhaps make second part if I want to :3

[les-pompiers118]

Isabel Díaz attends a wedding

Because we'd all like to know why she turned up there, out of the blue, and ABC isn't saying...

"So Chimney's feeling a bit better, now that the meds have kicked in, and he wants to get married right away," Eddie tells Christopher and his abuela as he tucks his phone back into his pocket. "Like, in an hour."

"In the hospital?" Chris asks. "Is that allowed?"

Eddie laughs. "I'd like to see anyone try to stop them now. Or Bobby. He told us he's always wanted to officiate a wedding as a fire captain. He's not about to miss his chance."

"Well, I guess we should be going then." Abuela holds out her hand to Eddie, so he can help her get up from the couch. "You don't want to be late for the wedding. Twice."

"Very funny," Eddie says. "We'll drop you off at Pepa's house, if that's what you want, but you know you're welcome to make yourself at home here. We won't be gone long. And they'll probably kick us out when visiting hours end, anyway."

"No, no, Eddito. I'd like to come with you to the hospital."

"You want to come to the wedding?"

"As long as your friends don't mind an uninvited guest." Abuela slips her arm through Eddie's and looks up at him with a dreamy smile. "I love weddings. I never turn down the chance to go to one. And at my age, I don't think anyone can begrudge me that."

"Definitely not. I'm sure they'll be happy to have you there." Eddie starts for the door, but stops after only two steps and pivots around. "Abuela, did you... plan your visit to L.A. for this particular weekend for any special reason? Say, a wedding?"

Abuela's eyes sparkle and Christopher muffles a giggle with his hand.

"Maybe I just missed my boys," Abuela says before giving Eddie a wink and dropping her voice to a stage whisper. "Or maybe I had a hunch that this wedding was going to be a special one."

"If by special, you mean cramming into a hospital room with no food or music, you'd be right."

"Oh, mijo, don't you think I know how things always seem to go for you and your friends? Never have I known a group of people with such topsy-turvy lives. Cruise ship sinks. Girlfriends move in, girlfriends move out. They should make a telenovela about you all."

Eddie huffs a grudging laugh. "I suppose we should be happy there wasn't an earthquake today, on top of everything else."

"It's not too late," Chris sings. "They're not married yet!"

"Okay, okay," Eddie groans, ushering them both towards the door. "Let's go, Díaz family."

Abuela claps her hands. "To the wedding!"

[blorboazula]

Jealousy for azutara au

Thank you for the prompt!

Katara is not jealous. She's not, she swears. It's just... Azula, the genius, the prodigy, the "I'm a people's person", isn't aware of when people are flirting with her. She seems to assume people are just a little too friendly sometimes, trying to gain favors and all, but flirting? In Azula's brain, apparently, having a girlfriend means nobody would flirt with her.

Yes, because people will stop flirting with a beautiful, rich woman.

It's almost funny how Azula is aware of how good-looks had helped her before but, at the same time, she doesn't seem to compute the fact that she's, well, attractive.

Everything in her is a magnet for girls to try something, which means that here they are, yet another college party and Azula is being all polite and nice to a girl that is all but throwing herself at her. Really, the only reason the girl was yet to climb Azula like a tree is probably the (juice-filled) cup on the Firebender's hand.

It's not jealousy that makes Katara walk towards them like a woman in a mission, attaching herself to one of Azula's nicely beefy arms. The flirty girl frowns at her, borderline growling a "please, excuse me" and leaving.

Azula blinks down at her: "You like to randomly grab me."

"You're nice to grab."

"We were having a mildly pleasant conversation."

"She was trying to get into your pants."

"Not every girl that talks to me wants that, Kat."

"The ones trying to shove their boobs onto your face are."

"You're cute when you're jealous like this," Azula kisses her head. "You don't have to worry."

She knows, but Katara will always be a little territorial. And Azula doesn't seem to mind, always happy to know she's wanted like that.

Send me a word for an Azutara drabble!

[ntls-24722]

Even if you are a crazy spider unicorn, learning to get used to the feeling of spiders all over you had to be a learning curve. Especially when one's always on your horn! Learning to not scratch that itch (knowing that itch is a Beloved Arachnid) or not to react too strongly to getting kinda tickled by the legs... hooh

I know the answer to "how do they invite people over to their place" is probably "they don't" at this point, but I can't help but wonder how it was if/when they did for the poor guest... lol. You go to Spindleweaver's house, you get taken by the spiders 🤷‍♂️ cause and effect

any pony that isn't a girl having the square jaw is kinda funny to me, sorry

@artastic-friend

Cymbal crash doodles... that second picture was originally going to be that scene where he sleeps beside the reader but when I reread it for details, it had slipped from my mind that he was on the floor beside the reader (and for good reason, I'm imagining the bed being shot up at an angle from where Music Man's heavy ass would be laying down like a broken shelf)

But I had already made most of the sketch, so I just repositioned the legs to be firm on the ground. I made him huge compared to you, though, damn

Along with the busted leg, for some reason I also started to imagine Music Man with a busted back directly from Wyatt like the apple stuck in Gregor Samsa? Weird allusion but my mind is thoroughly scattered, all the time

@wakebymoonsleepbysun

[i-guess-im-into-this-now]

The Apothecary Diaries

S1E21 First Watch

Here's where I watch The Apothecary Diaries for the first time and give my thoughts, analysis, predictions, and occasionally I stumble into a joke.

To start at the beginning:

Episode 1

My character/locations cheat sheet

Lakan - strategist. Maomao's biological father.

Lihaku - a young military officer

Pairin - one of the princesses at Verdigris House

Guen - the palace doctor

Lihaku is sparring and doing poorly because he is too distracted. Probably thinking about his true love Pairin and wondering if she is the princess who is having her contract bought out. Last time Maomao was at the brothel we learned that Meimei had some offers, but we haven't heard anything about Pairin.

Maomao is back in the Rear Palace and happy to be in the pharmacy with her old friend Guen, making him clean and organize.

We learn that Guen's family manufactures paper. They used to be quite wealthy until logging was banned and they had to cut back production. Under more dire circumstances, the eldest daughter chose to work in the palace. Guen volunteered to become a eunuch to follow her, but he never saw her again. Missing sister huh? Suirei maybe?

Hmmm... is there some connection here? Guen is a "doctor" and Suirei ended up being adopted by a doctor in the Outer Palace. Could she have learned the trade alongside Guen and used that knowledge to impress the Outer Palace doctor?

There is an issue with the paper that is manufactured for the palace, and the family is likely to lose their purveyor status if the problem isn't fixed. Luckily Maomao is a genius and can figure out the problem with minimal clues.

OMG, Lihaku. He's down sooooo bad for Pairin.

The man is dedicated. I will grant him that. He wants to know what he needs to do to buy out her contract. He's looking for an amount, and Maomao is stalling in giving him a direct answer. It's complicated since Pairin's desires can change that amount.

We learn that Maomao was a ward of the brothel. And induced lactation is a thing I just learned about today. Pairin was a mother figure to Maomao.

Maomao explains to Lihaku that Pairin would likely love to become a mother, but she is very lusty, and is difficult to satisfy in bed.

Lihaku: So she's perfect. Your point?

Okay, so Lihaku has won me over. I'm a sucker who has to support a man in love.

Maomao: Master Lihaku understands what Pairin does for a living and is still in love with her. He may act like a big dumb dog, but seems to be honest and a hard worker.

Yeah that all tracks.

Maomao tells him he has to come up with roughly 10x his annual income to buy out Pairin's contract. She then asks to examine his physique to see if he matches Pairin's tastes. And now would be a perfect time for someone to interrupt this scene. Preferably someone who views Lihaku as a romantic rival and can misread the situation...

Oh my god. Right on cue. Thank you storytellers for feeding your audience!

The looks on Lihaku's and Maomao's faces! They are so busted.

Friends. I am dying.

Jinshi: My apologies, but what exactly am I interrupting here? Maomao, brightly: Hi Master Jinshi! How are you?

About to go ballistic by the looks of it.

Lady Gyokuyou would love this. It's so funny.

Maomao's bright response to Jinshi's question let's me know that even if she isn't willing to acknowledge the situation she isn't ignorant to it.

But anyway, since Maomao won't acknowledge Jinshi's jealousy her only choice is to be so very terrible at reading the room that it seems like she's trolling Jinshi. She once again describes the situation in the most ambiguous way, so that the chance that Jinshi will misunderstand is maximized. It's 💋👌

There are so many good lines here, I'm tempted to write them all.

Maomao: Nothing improper was going on. I was simply taking a good hard look.

Jinshi takes psychic damage.

Jinshi: I didn't realize the physical form was of such interest to you.

Maomao: It was absolutely necessary... ...It was to see if his body would be good enough. What better way to judge that than to inspect him myself?

Critical hit. Jinshi's down. If he isn't actually crying, it's a close thing.

Jinshi: Humor me. Based on what you observed... were you satisfied?

Jinshi's entire outlook for the future hinges on this answer.... LOL

Maomao goes on to explain what she can deduce based on an assessment of someone's appearance.

Jinshi, jealous: Then you should be able to tell what kind of person I am by looking at my body.

No sir, you are the exception, she very deliberately won't determine anything about you that challenges her delusions.

Maomao: Wait a minute? Is he jealous of Master Lihaku?

Um.... yeah!

Maomao: I can't believe this guy's ego! He just wants to brag about being prettier than him!

You almost had it, Maomao. So close.

Maomao lives in her own delusional world where she can admire Jinshi's beautiful, well toned figure and still convince herself that she has zero interest in him.

Maomao: I'd offer to inspect your body too, but there'd be no point.

A final blow. Gaoshun is thinking about what a hassle it is going to be to motivate Jinshi to work in the next few days when he's going to be crying in the corner again.

Once Jinshi knows what's going on, he decides to involved himself in Lihaku's business. He offers to put up the money for Lihaku to buy out Pairin's contract. Is he trying to remove a romantic rival or earn points with Maomao by supporting her big sis? Both probably.

Jinshi: You've met my cat. So you know she can be the cautious type. And yet she's willing to give you advice and consider you to be a legitimate candidate to be her sister's husband. So, I think that says enough.

Excuse me, did he just refer to Maomao as his cat?

Damn, the day Lihaku nonchalantly gave Maomao a hairpin, really, really, has paid off.

In fact Maomao is a boon to everyone in her life. We saw it twice this episode with Guen and now with Lihaku.

Lihaku: In short, if she's comfortable letting her guard down around me, I'm trustworthy.

Yeah, Jinshi didn't like that. He's worked for nearly two years to get Maomao to let down her guard around him with little success, but by all appearances, Maomao will do so easily with Lihaku. And that's... true. Lihaku, is not, and has never been, a threat to Maomao's heart. She can stare at his physique or talk intimately and it means nothing at all to Maomao. But of course Jinshi doesn't know that. Which is what makes this hilarious.

And perhaps the unspoken part of this deal, is that Lihaku take the money to go live happily with Pairin, and stay the fuck away from Jinshi's girl.

Jinshi has done his research on Lihaku. It seems he comes from a good family, but was recruited by Lakan. Interesting. Jinshi is listing Lihaku's merits, and he sounds almost sarcastic, like he's forcing the words.

Lihaku gives a very nice little speech to Jinshi about wanting to use his own wealth to get Pairin. And he says some very important words:

Lihaku: While she might only be a courtesan to you. In my eyes, there's no other woman in the world for me.

See Jinshi? He has no interest in your girl? You can rein in your jealousy now.

And Jinshi is relieved. He says he'll need to speak with Lihaku again soon. As brother-in-laws maybe?

It almost seems like Jinshi was testing Lihaku and he passed. Maybe making sure that Lihaku has integrity? Maybe Jinshi is thinking about bringing him into his very small trusted circle? Lord knows Jinshi could use more allies.

Lihaku has come a long way from demanding Maomao compensate him for helping her visit her father outside the palace, to refusing the free money he needs to free the woman he loves.

Jinshi and Gaoshun walk away, and Jinshi is much happier after this conversation. He doesn't have to worry about Lihaku as a romantic rival any more. Which is good for Jinshi, but sad for me.

Lihaku's not giving up. He keeps training, trying to advance his career, save his money, and connect with Pairin however he can. Maomao seems to think it's a hopeful match.

A certain someone came to talk to granny about making a purchase at the brothel and some of the servant girls got the wrong idea. Lakan apparently. What the hell is his game this time? Mess with Maomao's sisters to draw her out of the Rear Palace?

To start at the beginning:

Episode 1

Next episode:

Episode 22

[yonpote]

actually i AM gonna talk abt dan's fashion expenses outside of tags fuck it and im gonna be 100% forreal about this and idc if the bants about his $300 pants are mostly jokes

yall know about what happens with fast fashion right. it's all cheaply made by people trapped in sweatshops and factories all day for little to no pay, and when a fashion cycle or season is over, all of the unsold clothes get dumped onto the shores of a country that has been cast as lesser by societies that continue to benefit from colonization and slavery despite acting like we're somehow above it. and of course thats not even accounting for clothes that end up in trash landfills, just all this fuckin waste that goes into letting a t shirt be $15USD.

and like okay. no, dan buying $300 parachute pants isn't singlehandedly saving the world, and no, phil buying $10 graphic tees isn't singlehandedly killing it. but still it bugs me AND I KNOW ITS A JOKE HAHA SO FUNNY BUT LIKE IT BUGS MEEEE when ppl are like "xD dan howell participating in capitalism by buying expensive clothes" when its like, ok he's buying from brands that nobody's heard of, who probably make clothes by order, and tbf i'm not 100% confident that the working conditions of the people who made dan's $300 pants are all super safe and sound and all of the workers are well-paid, but they're at the very least being paid. being paid more than a USD cent. and you're probably not going to see thousands of parachute pants piling up on a madagascan beach.

[phrandallanton]

when I was walking around my table I had an idea for a catmen character that isn't a catman and is instead someone who is poorly cosplaying as one and keeps showing up in the Ivory household unwanted. Then on top of that tries to steal stuff from the actual catmen (Example: cutting off nyon's ears and supergluing to the wig) I liked the idea and think it's funny when there's a silly character that keeps being told to go home. I don't have a name for her yet. You can give me suggestions if you have any. I feel like she would make up a name to be similar to "nyen" or "nyon" that nobody but herself calls her that. I don't know why but I kept thinking of derpy from MLP, probably cause I was also thinking of the "nyan nyan song" which I always associate with derpy due to that one animation. I'm sure somebody has a catmen character like this, if not we should make a trend where we make a bunch of catmen characters like this and draw them raiding the Ivory household together.

[polter-heist]

Dp x Dc prompt 7

(most likely a limital!amity park)

a feud between Amity Park residents and the Justice League but it's one sided.

any time an Amity Parker goes out of town and ends up in a location where the Justice League gets called or any member gets called, an Amity Parker Will Take Care Of It.

Amity Parkers have dropped-kicked Lex Luther, ganged up on the Joker, punted Mister Mind, and more.

The Justice League and Villains are desperately trying to find out What Their Problem Is for different reasons.

When confronted, the answers vary but a concerning consistency is "If our dead teenage superhero can take care of world-ending threats by himself, we can take care of the little things."

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Can the world's worst priest conflicted over his role as punisher or protector with a cross gun and cool shades and the tormented pacifistic eldritch horror of a spiky-haired red coat wearing goof... ever truly see tomorrow together?

Find out in Trigun Max- *I break down sobbing before I can finish the sentence*

[nguyenfinity]

bean and i have been locked in the kitchen, so like AU where beta niki is niki's older brother and otome niki is his younger brother right--

more below

Hiki (22 y.o.) - "nii-san" to his younger brothers; calls Niki "Nikkun"

dropped out of hs and left to travel and be a food journalist after the IncidentTM

pretty chill but would kill a man for his little brothers

rinne is scared of him (something something scary older brother, the 3 cm difference is the only thing keeping red guy from crumpling) (also hiki's basically another version of him and bro's good at dealing with anyone but himself)

he knows rinne is scared of him and thinks it's the funniest thing and will mess with him on purpose

super sensitive to taste, bro can taste if someone put in even 1 grain of salt

despite that he has horribly bad eating habits, bro has tastebuds gifted by the divine themselves but he's on his 12th pack of ramen this week

favorite is the instant noodles he'd make and share with his little brother when he had to watch him while parents were out working

sucks at cooking. rinne was scared of him until he saw him burn water

so chill with pda hes annoying and embarrassing they cannot kiss without him whistling or saying anything

feels guilty about leaving niki from running off to try to redeem the shiina name with his journalism

bicon

exes with oldest sakura nee-han (it's funny and they're on good terms)

drinking buddies with rinne, said nee-han and himeru post-reveal (older bees sibling crew)

Miki (16 y.o.) - "Mikkun" to his older brothers; calls Niki "Aniki"

stayed with other family in japan after the IncidentTM (niki didn't go with him 'cause he wanted to stay)

guilt from not visiting his aniki or trying harder to convince him to come with him to live with family

miki is an edgy brat, sweet but a brat niki: aw he's just a little angel what are you so worried about miki flipping rinne off behind niki's back:

Rinne once again thinking how he lucked out with Hiiro every time he interacts with Miki

niki spoils miki and miki clinging to his aniki cuddling up next to him being the first taste tester getting to choose what niki makes rinnekun on the side fist clenched about to blow a fuse thats his spot thats his job thats his choice and miki Knows

will play video games with rinne tho (sideeyeing the number of runs red guy has on niki's route in the otome)

cut his hair to be different from his brothers

has the opposite problem of niki, he doesnt wanna do food or chef work but all he's good at is food (specifically desserts and he would rather go to business school but he does enjoy making sweets with his aniki)

aroace

if rinne and niki kiss one more time around him he's gonna explode

gets flustered around hiiro in an "i wanna be friends but i'm bad at making friends" way 'cause he's so nice and genuine and excitable and nothing like his brother and rinne's like "yeah no he has a girlfriend"

tiktok kid, always has his phone on him; kinda famous?? people in his comments mostly just go "you look like that guy from crazy:b"

mario party nights with the younger bee sibling squad (hiiro, kaname, kohaku)

also gets into debates with them on who has the best oldest siblings

[incorrectprodigalsonquotes]

You know I often wonder if there is like a parallel universe where the show did get picked up for Season 3 and would go on to like Season 10 with an actual ending and wrap up to the series.

And I wonder where the show would have gone by this point because we'd be nearing the end of Season 5 by now...

I have a couple of theories, but I dunno how popular they would be lol

[skyloftian-nutcase]

I'm looking at the Zora May prompts and wanna write stuff, and now my brain's just giggling with ideas LOL like--

Imagine, after Age of Calamity, that Link and Mipha get together. That has its whole set of fun and drama - a Hylian/Zora marriage would mean a lot anyway, but particularly when it's the Zora princess and the Hero of Hyrule. Link and Mipha start to have a family, Zelda is settling into being queen, and they all have their own set of stressors and joys and the three are still besties and it would be just so funny to see y'all. Like... Link takes his oath as a knight seriously, so he still assists Hyrule often, and just this scenario in my head came and--

Zelda, sighing: I hardly slept last night. I was up late researching the latest Zonai discoveries and almost forgot I had a meeting with the Rito delegation this morning. I'm so tired.

Link, hair a mess, on his third cup of coffee after dealing with one of his kids having a meltdown while the other kept everyone up crying all night, dealing with Mipha also trying to do royal duties, having just teleported over here via Sheikah towers: .....That sounds rough.

[caluupin]

Finished TGAAC around 2 1/2 weeks ago but only finished the doodles today. but still, here ya go!