#this single performance was what converted me

[haveihitanerve]

Ok so we all know Dick Grayson loves to sing and is probably a real life disney princess, but i give you Dick Grayson who loves to sing and is real life disney princess, only with certain people. 

Bruce and Alfred have had the privilege of watching in live time his mid conversation singing and broadway production, and even as Nightwing if hes on patrol with B sometimes Dick will switch off his comm and start singing to his father and Batman is sitting there with a straight face, not even looking at him, but that doesn't stop him and finally, when hes done, or, even better, if its a duet, and he reaches the end of his part, bruce will join in, and applaud. 

Jason knows he sings because Dick tried to convert him to being a disney princess, jason actually hated it, he doesn't mind the singing and movies but dick was always singing. Jason doesn't have a bad voice, but he prefers humming or softly singing, though he will break out into a complete reenactment of a disney movie scene with dick if his older brother tempts him

Tim honestly didn't earn the privilege of seeing/hearing dick sing for the first time, he just spent so much time watching Batman and Robin that he was lucky enough to catch them at a time where they were alone(or so they thought) and heard him sing, its also how he knows bruce can sing, but later when he became robin ig dick saw it as a ritualic kind of thing because he also tried to convert tim into a disney princess, tim would totally fit the bill except that his voice sounds like a dying cat

Babs herself is a disney princess and when they were the boy wonder and batgirl they would sing together just to annoy batman, and then scream like fangirls when he did harmonize with them, but yeah she knows

Steph actually attempted to convert Dick into a disney princess before he revealed he is one and then they spent an entire week singing back and forth to each other not a single word was spoken until bruce finally snapped and threw dick out the window. Steph went ‘what the fuck richard’ and dick laughed so hard he almost busted a lung

Cass is a disney princess and she was invited to hear dick sing and watch a personal performance in the theatre because she is the disney princess queen and she clapped very loudly for him when he finished, sometimes when shes upset dick will crawl over and sing to her

Damian got to experience Dick as Batman and unfortunately Dick’s disney princess ways kinda went to sleep during that time because though he wanted to sing and distance himself from the Batman that was Bruce, it also every time reminded him of when bruce would sing with him, but when bruce came back dick would sing at the top of his lungs in the house so damian got the privilege too. 

Needless to say, the batfam is pretty used to Princess Dick Grayson, so i just want a scene where, its very serious, in Young Justice, the entire team has gathered, and Tim and Jason are supposed to pick him up for family game night and they're like ‘whats going on?’ and Wally goes ‘shhhh! Hes about to sing for us! Finally!” and jason and tim are like ???? ‘finally?? You mean he doesn't sing???” and wally looks at them weirdly and is like ‘no???” jason gasp dramatically and goes ‘you got him to shut up??? But how?? Teach me your ways!!!” while tim went ‘what have you done to our brother???” and meanwhile dick is singing and the entire team is like, now. Now we have truly gained his trust and respect. And Jason and Tim in the back of the room recording it for Babs and the others just like ‘wtf is this cult dedicated to dicks singing???’ 

Idk i just like the idea of Dick’s singing being sacred to everyone outside of his family. They all love it, ofc, but its also allthe time and so the idea of him just??? Not??? Singing??? Is super weird to them.

[icequeenlila]

Context: they are driving in a convertible (Max is driving), Bradley lowkey has an existentional crisis right before this scene, and Max snapps him out of it without even realizing.

"Powerline!"

Max voice was loud and excited and all consuming.

Suddenly loud music blasted from the speakers, shutting down every thought Bradley could have possibly had, ripping his attention away from himself and his thoughts, until there was only Max and his loud, goofy voice, singing (shrieking) along to some random song.

Bradley blinked against the whiplash. It was like being thrown into cold water. Disorienting but refreshing.

"Open up your eyes, take a look at me. Get the picture fixed in your memory", Max sang along, his eyes leaving the road for one short moment, brows wiggling at Bradley.

His mind was still trying to sort out itself, so all Bradley could do was to look at the boy with wide eyes, not even able to frown or complain about Max being an irresponsible driver.

Bradley kept staring, watching Max thrust his head back and forth, the boy's eyes concentrated on the road, not missing a single word of the lyrics.

"Some people settle for the typical thing. Livin' all their lives waitin' in the wings."

Wide, green fields passed by them, the sun standing high, shining down hot on them. At some point Max had put on sunglasses. His sunglasses! And Bradley was only noticing now.

"You gotta believe that I got what it takes!" Max's voice was peeking and breaking in a way that should have been embarrassing but the boy didn't care at all.

"To stand out! Above the crowd! Even if I gotta shout out loud!"

He turned to look at Bradley, nodding his head so the Gucci glasses slid down his nose a nudge, reaching out a hand towards him and balling it into a fist as he kept shouting the lyrics.

"Till mine is the only face you see! Gonna stand out..." He pointed a finger at Bradley. "’till you notice me."

Heat to Bradley's cheeks, ears burning and heart picking up a beat. Because of what? Because of a crappy song and piercing dark eyes?

Why did he think of Max' eyes as piercing? Why was he thinking about them at all?

The answer made him angry, and anger was a way better feeling than whatever he had going on only moments ago.

Bradley finally found his voice again.

"What the fuck, Goof!?", he shouted over the music, wind almost swallowing his voice. "Focus on the road! Put down my glasses! Do you call that singing!?"

Max didn't follow any of his commands, his voice now filled with laughter as he kept singing along to the lyrics, not missing a single beat.

"If the squeaky wheel's always gettin' the grease. I'm totally devoted to disturbing the peace."

Max was totally ignoring him, head nodding up and down as he kept driving, the car not swaying once.

"And I'll do it all again when I get it done. Until I become your number one!"

"Don't you ignore me!", Bradly shouted, but the glare on his face was wavering.

Max just kept half singing, half shouting the lyrics at him. The more Bradley complained the more Max struggled to keep his voice even, as laughter shook his entire body.

All the while, wind was tugging at them from all sides, blowing their hair in and out of their faces.

In his euphoria, Max was half performing to the song, nodding his head, shimmying his shoulders and pointing fingers at Bradley, trying to make him part of his ridiculous performance.

"I'm under a spell, I'm in over my head."

Max kept wiggling his brows at him and it looked so ridiculous that Bradley actually had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from grinning.

"And you know I'm goin' all of the way till the end- Get ready, Brad!"

Max drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, leaning slightly forward in anticipation.

"Pfft!"

Bradley shook his head, trying his hardest to keep from grinning. Seeing Max in such high spirits did something to him. His chest felt wider, his breathing easier. He stopped clenching his jaw and straining his shoulders.

"To stand out above the crowd! Even if I gotta shout out loud!"

Max was singing at the top of his lungs now, hair blowing in the wind, Gucci glasses lopsided on his nose.

"Till mine is the only face you'll see! Gonna stand out till you notice me, yeah!"

And Bradley couldn't keep in the laughter anymore. He let himself fall back against his seat, arms crossed over his stomach, as he just let go.

It was ridiculous. He'd been pretty much questioning his entire life mere moments ago and now he was crying from laughter. He was crying for god's sake!

And all just because Max was singing along to a song, not caring if he was hitting the right notes, goofing off and making a complete idiot of himself.

This was a new low. But he really didn't care.

"Oh my god", Max' voice sounded next to him. He had stopped singing. "Is he laughing?"

Bradley turned to look at him and his vision was swimming. It made him laugh even harder, because it was so stupid.

"Do you need a hospital?", Max asked, stupid grin on his face, eyes jumping between Bradley and the road. "Are you feeling all right?"

Bradley wiped the tears from his eyes, trying to compose himself and failing.

"What?"

"This is the first time I hear you laughing without any murderous intent in your voice", Max said.

Bradley shook his head, not able to stop smiling.

"You're an idiot", he said, and he sounded horribly out of breath.

"But I made you laugh." Max shot him a satisfied grin. "I knew you would warm up to me."

"I'm just laughing at you", Bradley argued, but there was no malice in it.

He managed to stop laughing but his voice was still breathy. His belly hurt. His guts feeling tingly.

"Just admit that you like me." Max nudged him against the shoulder, eyes staying on the road.

"You're an idiot, Goof", Bradley said, swatting at his hand.

"Max."

"Huh?"

"Call me Max. I like it when you say my name."

No, Bradley didn't blush at that. It was totally the summer heat. And only that!

"I will call you by your name as soon as you manage to remember mine correctly", he retorted.

"Goof it is then."

Bradley giggled. He couldn't help it. He felt too good to care.

"You're an idiot, Goof."

"You already said that", Max glanced over at him briefly. "Also, you're a snob."

Bradley blinked, sitting up straight in his seat. "Excuse me? I'm not a snob."

"The snobbiest snob I've ever encountered", Max said, chuckle in his voice and grin on his lips.

"Take it back!"

"No can do."

"Goof!", Bradley warned, but his voice betrayed him as it trembled with suppressed laughter.

"Brad." The grin on Max' lips seemed to be glued on.

"Stop calling me Brad!"

"Admit you like me."

"I don't."

"But I like you, Bradley."

And Max' voice was soft when he said it.

His breathing stopped. For a few moments, Bradley couldn't do anything but stare at the boy.

How was he so bold? So carefree? So completely and brutally honest?

Heat spread from his chest and traveled higher. And this time it definitely wasn't the sun.

Max' eyes were constantly jumping between him and the road, searching Bradley's face, waiting for him to say something in return.

But Bradley couldn't. Not when he felt his heartbeat in his throat. Not when his tongue felt dry as the desert, his entire body burning with a tingly heat.

"Look at that", Max said, and at some point, he must have turned down the volume of the radio, because his voice was soft. Gentle. "Bradley has lost his words."

And somehow, Max sounded almost fond. The look in his eyes, the curve of his lips. It seemed all so honest and genuine, and impossible.

It made Bradley's gut clench in a half tingly, half painful way. It felt good, but it hurt. It was confusing, because Max was confusing him. Bradley was confusing himself. Whatever!

It was definitely too much to feel at once, and he needed Max to stop looking at him like that.

"Eyes on the road", he said, his voice way too breathy, way too soft.

"But I like looking at you more", Max said, not missing a beat.

And Bradley's heart was fucking pounding against his rib cage, like it wanted to jump out of his chest and right into Max' arms.

He could not have that!

He reached out his hand, placing his fingers gently against Max' jaw, forcing him to look forward.

"On the road", he repeated, voice slightly trembling towards the end.

Because there was the faintest scruff of beard stubble beneath his fingertips. Max' skin felt warm, the line of his jaw firm. Bradley withdrew his hand.

And his heart was beating, beating, beating quickly inside his chest.

"Also stop at the next store we pass", he added, forcing himself to breathe evenly.

This couldn't be happening. This so couldn't be happening.

Max grinned, keeping his eyes on the road like Bradley had told him to.

"As you wish, Brad."

And Bradley didn't have the breath to argue on the nickname, too occupied to keep his stomach from clenching, his fingers from fidgeting.

This couldn't be happening. This couldn't be possibly happening.

He looked back at Max and his stomach felt tingly. He looked at him and there was heat everywhere. His heart was ready to explode.

It couldn't be. It couldn't be. He couldn't have a crush on Max.

+

This is from chapter 4 of my fic Good Luck, Babe! on ao3

[tofu83]

Let me introduce the latest high-tech prison in the Republic of All Mankind！

As you can see, it’s not a building or camp but simply a set of body armor. It can limit prisoners' freedom and correct their behavior with minimal resources

Mark, the rebel who encourage young people to engage in destruction, has the honor to serve as an example.

Turn around, Prisoner!

"What the fuck are you doing to my body!?"

See? Even if he has thousands of unwillingnesses, he can do nothing but obey. That's because this exoskeleton has been connected to his central nervous system. Now he is not able to control his own body, but let the armor in charge.

Oh, that gentleman with crewcut hair in black jacket, you have question?

"Why not brainwash the prisoner or implant a controlling chip to make him completely compliant?"

Good question! We intend to keep their mind clear in order to let them understand what we could do to them. Let them know that every single person is just the property of our country. Even you and me both have to admit that the authority has absolutely power over us. Right?

Besides, the prisoners have to learn what is good and what is bad. Take Mark as example. He will join the rebels hunting team working with law enforcers to hunt down his accomplices, and force them into the same kind of prison he is in now.

"You freaking bustard! I will never betray my allies!"

He is so noisy, isn’t he? No problem! Turn around to show our guest your face, prisoner! Just a click on this button,

"Mmmm…Mmmm!!!"

the mouth gag and face mask will make him quiet!

Okay, let’s continue. After working for the authority many times, we infer they will finally understand how childish they were and how glory to serve the country. They will submit and be loyal to their country from the bottom of their hearts.

But we know some people are very stubborn and won’t easily be break down. If we need immediate combat effectiveness, they are the best choice because the armor also has the ability to fully control the wearer.

Lets enter the code here…

You can see that the prisoner stops struggling and stands up straight. His eyes glowing red like robots’ because he is actually becoming a robot.

Their minds would be wiped out in order to be reprogrammed easily.

Only the useful parts of their memories will be retained, and the rest will be deleted.

Now the reprogramming is almost complete.

Hunter bot 001 active and report status!

"Hunter unit 001 is fully functional, reporting for duty."

Let me prove that he is already converted into a loyal servant of our country.

"Hunter bot 001, perform your main mission!"

"Yes sir, this unit will comply. Start searching for potential insurgents…. Target detected! A close friend of the famous rebel, Mark, is in this room!"

Wow, what a surprise!!!

"Rebel, Name: Black. Must be arrested immediately!"

Hey！That gentleman with crewcut hair in black jacket！

Congratulations on becoming the second inmate of the new prison!!!

[lnlightning81]

Favour

Summary : You need help during a race weekend and after asking everyone you could, Liam suggests you ask Max an old friend

Pairing/s: Max Fewtrell x Engineer!Single Mum!Reader, Paul Aron x Engineer!Reader (Platonic)

Appearances : Bryan Bozzi, Liam Lawson, Oscar Piastri, Lando Norris, Oliver Oakes

Warning/s : Mention of death

Word Count : 5.3k

Masterlist

Max Fewtrell Masterlist

Tag List

Being a race engineer was hard enough as it is, but being a race engineer with a little baby was even harder. Normally, you were able to find someone within Hitech to watch your baby girl -Aurora- but this week everyone was a little bit more busy than normal 

“You know if I wasn’t racing I’d watch Rory” Paul smiled, waving his hands at the baby in your arms 

“I know you would, Paul, but we’re on pole today, and we’re going to convert it to a win” You smiled, rubbing his shoulder 

“I want to top the championship again” You nodded with a proud smile 

“We’re going to get you there” You nodded, placing Rory down on the office floor. Going over the data from last year and the last race with Paul was not as easy as it looked because he was always getting distracted by the smallest things, including Rory, who was playing with her toys. 

It was an hour later when you were walking through the F1 paddock to meet up with Bryan, who you were helping slightly with his new role within Ferrari. Sat in the Ferrari meeting room with Rory in a sling as you talked Bryan through some basic information he’d need to know for this race about the race engineering side of things. 

“You don’t fancy babysitting, do you?” You asked Bryan as you walked out of the Ferrari garage 

“Sorry I’ve still got my performance coach jobs to do” You nodded 

“Was worth a shot anyway” You sighed 

“Hey Y/N” Liam smiled instantly, going to play with Rory like the biggest child he was. 

“Hey there, sweets. Hey, what are you saying today, hmm?” Liam asked Aurora 

“She’s asking if her favourite non-biological uncle wants to babysit her?” You asked with a smile

“Sorry Y/N/N VCARBS got me on standby cause Yuki isn’t feeling the best after his crash yesterday” You sighed with a nod 

“Well good luck if that happens” You smiled, rubbing his shoulder. Liam was your first driver when you joined Hitech, but at that point, you were still on probation and starting to learn everything. 

“Max is in the Mclaren garage though” He shrugged, and you smiled 

“Liam Lawson, you are the best. I really hope you get that seat, but I’ll keep the rest of my opinions to myself” You hugged him as he said bye to Aurora. Walking back to the F2 paddock, you searched out the old phone number you hadn’t used in a very long time. 

You and Max used to be close because he was good friends with Liam and used to hang around the Hitech garage and being the same age it was easy to get along with him. 

You sat Aurora down on a play mat in the meeting room as you sat to work on quick information before qualifying for the day. Paul walked in a couple of minutes later, sitting down opposite you with his elbows on the table and head resting on his hands 

“Hello there, Mr Aron” You looked at him, and he smiled 

“There’s a guy here to see you” He smirked, and you frowned 

“A guy? Does this guy have a name?” You asked, glancing at Aurora to make sure she’s okay. 

“Max. That’s all he said, but it’s Norris’ friend Max. I can’t remember his last name” He shrugged, getting up and walking out

“Paul” you called, and he stuck his head in through the door 

“Tell him where I am? He knows his way about” You asked with a polite smile 

“Only cause I’ve got to listen to you” You chuckled, turning back to the data finishing up the report you were writing for Paul. There was a knock on the door, and you turned to look at it. A smile grew on your face as you spotted Max waving him in as Aurora waved her hands at the new figure. 

“Hey stranger” He smiled, and you chuckled a little 

“I’m not the stranger. You’re the one that doesn’t visit” 

“Touche” Max nodded, and you motioned him to sit down, to which he sat down next to you 

“Still focused on data, I see” You nodded

“You know I’m a sucker for some good data” You shrugged, and he nodded 

“So how are you doing?” He asked 

“Stressed but happy, I guess” You shrugged 

“How about you? Saw you’ve gained quite a few followers on twitch” You smiled, and he nodded 

“Yeah. Taking a break from racing was really the thing that I needed, and I’m glad I did it” You smiled 

“I’m glad to hear you’re doing better” You nodded as Aurora clapped her hands. You looked down at her, picking her up 

“This little cutie, why you’re stressed?” He asked as Rory grabbed his finger 

“Yeah she’s also the massive favour I need” You bit your lip, and he nodded 

“Need a babysitter?” He asked, and you nodded 

“You’re totally free to say no. I know you’ve never actually met her in person and just seen pictures on instagram, but if you could, I would be so grateful and would pay you back however you wanted” You sighed 

“Can I?” He asked, holding his arms out, and you nodded, handing her over 

“She likes attention, so as long as she’s got that she’s the happiest baby ever” you explained, and he nodded 

“I’m sorry about your boyfriend. I just know he would have been the greatest dad” You nodded with a sigh 

“She looks so much like him sometimes it hurts” Max placed a hand on your knee, gently caressing it 

“Sorry I shouldn’t have brought it up” You placed your hand on top of his gently, holding his hand 

“Do you need a babysitter all weekend?” You nodded 

“Unfortunately. I can normally find someone within the team or someone that I know, but unfortunately I’m not able to this weekend” Max nodded 

“Then I’ll watch her all weekend if you need” He smiled, and you hugged him 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you” You smiled, letting out a breath 

“But I’m taking her to the Mclaren garage tomorrow” You chuckled 

“Forget about your own past then and go to your future” You joked, and he jokingly shoved you away 

“But honestly, whatever you want in return I’ll do it” You sat back, rubbing your face in relief 

“Go on a date with me” He whispered, and you looked at him

“What?” You asked 

“I’ve been wanting to ask you for years and now that you’re due me something in return I feel like now is the perfect time to ask” He hummed with a slight smirk hidden underneath a smile 

“Fine. On Sunday as payment” You nodded, and he smiled, looking at the wall 

“You need to get ready for qualifying. I’ll wait in here with this cutie” He smiled 

“Aurora or Rory. I think you probably already knew that though” Max nodded 

“I did. I follow you on instagram and check up on you every so often” You chuckled, getting up kissing Rory’s head 

“Thank you again, Max. If she needs her diaper changed there’s diapers in my office. Same place that it used to be. She’s been fed, so she’ll be fine until after qualifying. Any other worries, please just text me. Don’t even think about crossing the pit lane” Max nodded 

“Please don’t worry about her. I promise she’ll be okay in my care. Are you okay if I call LN over, though?” He asked, and you nodded 

“Yeah it’s fine” You smiled, grabbing your pass and walking out of the meeting room. You let out a breath, knowing that you could do your job without worrying about Rory. 

And that’s what you did. Paul had a good qualifying session for both the sprint and feature race. Once that was over, you quickly rushed back to the meeting room. Max was sitting on the floor with Rory, who was giggling at him as she pulled on his beard. You chuckled, sitting down at the desk as Max looked up at you 

“She’s a little cutie, but she’s also a trouble child” You nodded with a laugh 

“Did I forget to mention that part?” You joked 

“Do you need me to stay until after the debrief?” Max asked 

“That would be really helpful, but I’m not sure that’s allowed” you replied, and he nodded 

“What if I take her for a walk? Is she due a nap?” He asked, and you nodded 

“Actually that would be really helpful. If I put her in the pram, would you be okay with taking her for a walk?” You asked 

“I wouldn’t have offered it if it wasn’t okay. I can walk her over to the F1 paddock, and you can get her from there when you’re done for the day” He suggested 

“Thank you again, Max. I really appreciate this just being sprung on you after us not talking for ages”

“For this little troublesome cutie I’d do it more often if you needed” You chuckled 

“Trust me, you won’t be saying that by Sunday night” You smiled, grabbing her pram from the side of the room before building it and putting her in it. You gave her her binkie before turning to Max. 

“Okay she should be good until I’m finished for the day” You smiled, and he nodded, walking with her just as everyone started filling the room. After debriefing, you packed up Rory’s toys and your own stuff before walking over to the F1 paddock and over to the Mclaren garage. 

“Hey Y/N” Oscar smiled, standing at his car 

“Hey Oscar. Have you seen Max?” You asked, and he pointed towards Lando’s side of the garage

“Thanks” You walked over and into the garage, smiling at the mechanics that you knew 

“There she is” Max smiled gently, rocking the pram 

“Hey babysitting, looking good on you” you joked, looking into the pram

“She makes it easy” You laughed as he let you take the pram 

“Thank you again. I’ll text you later with my meeting times and all that kind of thing” Max nodded 

“See you tomorrow” You walked out of the Mclaren garage, ready for the best sleep of your week. 

When the next day rolled around and you were walking into the F2 paddock, you knew that Rory was going to be in safe hands and that you just had to be ready for the race ahead. 

Max was standing outside the Hitech garage leaning against one of the walls, talking to one of the mechanics he knew as Rory played with our hands strapped to your chest 

“Hey Y/N” Max smiled as you walked over 

“Hey there, Mr Babysitter” you joked

“Is the nugget ready for her big day with lots of affection?” Max asked, and you nodded 

“She sure is, but I’m gonna keep her for the morning if that’s okay” Max nodded 

“Of course it is. Want me there?” He asked 

“If you don’t mind sitting on the floor with her again” Max shook his head 

“Would be my pleasure” You smiled, leading him inside and to the meeting room that was going to be used for the day. Setting up Rory’s stuff on the floor before setting her on the floor beside Max 

“Thank you again Max” You smiled, and he nodded. Sitting down to do morning brief, Paul walked in, instantly going over to Aurora

“Hey maiustus (sweets)” Paul smiled, squishing her cheeks

“Paul please sit down, the whole team is just waiting on you” You complained and he sat down going over yesterday’s data and things that had to be done today to get a good finish in the sprint. 

Once all the other members of the team had finally left, you turned around to Rory. Paul was still sitting next to you as he scrolled through his phone, definitely avoiding his trainer but not wanting to admit it. Rory reached her arms up with a giggle as you picked her up 

“Hey little troublemaker” You kissed her head as you got up from the seat, Max, stretching his back as you chuckled at him 

“I know I said she needs attention to be happy, but you don’t have to sit on the floor with her” You smiled as he got up 

“Easier to get down to her level rather than bring her up to mine” He shrugged 

“She likes sitting on the table” you shrugged, closing the meeting room door and pulling the blinds down so that no one could see in as you heard Paul whine 

“Thought you were hiding me, but I just saw the time” You laughed, ruffling his hair as you sat down again 

“You really need to go start your warm up and do media though Paul” You sighed, feeding Rory as Paul groaned, getting up 

“Only cause I wanna win” You laughed as Max stood awkwardly 

“You can sit Fewtrell” You chuckled at his face. Poor guy was uncomfortable even being in the same room as you fed Aurora. 

“I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable” He frowned, and you shrugged 

“I’ve been doing this for the past four months with strangers. We’re not strangers. Therefore, I don’t care” you replied, looking up at him as he sat down. 

A little while later, Aurora was finished feeding, burped, and had her diaper changed before you handed her over to Max for the day who was taking her over to the Mclaren motorhome. You explained where everything in her bag was kept along with how to warm some milk up in case she needed it. Max assured you multiple times that she would be okay and that you could just come to the Mclaren garage to get her at the end of the day. 

Throughout the day, Max was subject to some teasing from Lando about his babysitting as Lando knew about his crush on you and had for many years. 

Once the race and debrief were done, you were finally able to leave the F2 paddock with Paul trailing behind you because he didn’t want to be alone again. In reality, he was hiding from the ice bath he was meant to be in, but he’d never admit that to anyone. 

“Hey Y/L/N” Andrea Stella smiled as you walked over to the Mclaren garage 

“Hey. I’m looking for Lando. Well I’m assuming he’s with Lando” You shrugged 

“Oh he’s in the hospitality with Max and a random child?” He frowned, and you nodded 

“Perfect. That’s my second born” you joked, nudging your head in Paul’s direction. Andrea laughed 

“I’m on three or so now” He joked, and you laughed 

“They learn to listen any better any time?” You asked, and he shook his head with a laugh 

“No. Never” You laughed, shaking your head 

“Damn it. Well I’m gonna find my baby and her newest babysitters” You walked off to the Mclaren hospitality with Paul trailing behind you, scrolling through his phone. You walked inside, looking about as Paul instantly walked over to Rory, picking her up off the table. You followed him over, rolling your eyes as Paul picked up his role with Rory. 

At this point, Paul was like Rory’s big brother, and there was nothing you could do to stop how much he actually loved your little girl. You took another picture as you leaned against the chair Max was sitting in, smiling at Lando, and Oscar was sitting opposite him. 

“Hey. Looked like a good race” Max smiled up at you as you nodded 

“Hey. It was a very good race considering the pit stop errors” You shrugged, and he nodded 

“How was Aurora?” You asked him, looking over at Paul and Aurora

“Think I’ve got a bald spot in my beard now. However, apart from that, she was an angel” Max shrugged, showing you a picture of Rory sitting in Lando’s car. You chuckled 

“If she looked tiny in the F2 cars, she looked even smaller in that F1 car” You chuckled, and he laughed 

“You in a rush out of here?” Max asked, and you shook your head 

“Nope. I do need to stop by and see Liam, though. Wish him luck for tomorrow” You shrugged, and Max pulled out the seat next to him, and you sat down

“Still wouldn’t move up to F1?” Oscar asked, and you looked over at Rory and Paul, who were sat on the floor 

“I think if Paul was to move up, then I would, but only with Paul, he actually listens to me” You glared at Max, who shrugged 

“I wasn’t your driver. I was just there to annoy you” Max shrugged, and you rolled your eyes. Over the next half an hour, you spoke with Lando, Max, and Oscar, but Lando and Oscar soon had to go get ready for qualifying, so it was just you and Max. Paul was rocking Aurora to sleep as you watched him with a tilt of your head. 

“I keep losing my daughter to my driver” You chuckled, getting up

“Same time tomorrow?” Max asked, and you nodded

“Only if you’re still okay with looking after her for another day” You rested a hand on the back of his seat. Max was doing you a favour, and you didn’t want to push him to do something he wasn’t completely comfortable with. 

“Yeah, of course I’m okay with it. Actually I’m more than okay with it because I get something out of this as well” He smiled looking up at you to the outside world it looked like he was deadly in love but to yourself it just looked like Max was happy.

Sunday was always a busy day. However, this weekend just felt like it was an even busier day. Sat in your office, Aurora sat in her pram asleep as you sat with your headphones in going over some basic work you didn’t hear Max come in. 

He stood next to you, gently pushing a piece of hair out of your face as you sat back in your seat, looking up at him when you felt his presence standing next to you. You smiled up to him, taking your headphones off 

“Morning” He smiled, taking the pen out of your hand and placing it down on the table 

“Hey. Didn’t hear you come in” You hummed, looking up at him after following his actions with the pen 

“That’s because you were so caught up in your work that you didn’t hear anything, including Paul” You frowned, looking at the time. You hadn’t missed any meetings or events that you were due to be at. 

“It’s fine he just wanted to see if you wanted anything to eat” You nodded slightly 

“I had breakfast before coming here” You looked at the time again as Max sat down next to you 

“I’m gonna take Aurora a walk around the paddock then into Mclaren, and I was thinking that you could always come watch the F1 race with me from there?” He offered, and you nodded 

“I quite like the sound of that” You smiled, tilting your head slightly 

“And I was thinking about our date” He started, and you quickly interrupted him 

“Can we do it back home? My flight out of here is tonight, and I can’t get it changed unless I pay for it and after” You paused, glancing over at Rory 

“Let me worry about that. I’m the one that asked you out on the date, so I’ll worry about that” He smiled, gently resting his hand on top of yours. 

“So how’s the little darling today?” He asked, looking over at Aurora’s pram. 

“She’s quite sleepy today, so bonus for you, I guess. However, it's just because she’s starting to teeth, so she might get a little fussy or bite you” You shrugged, and he nodded, getting up just as Paul and his trainer walked in Paul was clearly in a mood about something as you raised your eyebrows. 

Max played with your hair as he stood behind you, and you couldn’t help but smile a little. He used to do that when Liam was your driver a few years ago. It’s like to this day even after limited contact, he still knew when you were hiding your stress 

“He won’t let me have a chocolate bagel” Paul huffed, throwing himself down on the chair Max was previously in as you looked at his trainer who shrugged 

“Too many carbs before a race. Especially when it’s half an hour away. I suggested alternatives, but that wasn’t good enough” The man just shrugged before turning and walking out the room, clearly not wanting to have this fight again

“Paul, we've been over this. You can’t come expecting me to solve your carb problem. I’ve already snuck you enough this weekend as it is. Why don’t you have a smoothie? I know you’re just bored, which is why you’re eating” Paul gave you a look as if you’d just suggested murdering his whole family. 

“You can get me and Max one while you’re there” you suggested, knowing that Paul would do anything for anyone else if offered the opportunity, so Paul got up and left the room again. You looked up at Max the top of your head resting against his stomach 

“I know I asked you on a date and agreed to babysit your child, but have I ever told you how good you look doing your job?” He asked, and you raised a brow thinking about it 

“I believe you may have back when I was a taken woman” You shrugged with a slight smirk 

“You’re trouble, you know that?” He asked as you tilted your head to the side a little, turning around to fully face him 

“Me? Never? That’s all Aurora, and she doesn’t even get it from me” you joked, and he laughed, looking down at you. You couldn’t help but smile up at him. 

“How long does it take for Paul to get some smoothies?” Max asked, and you shrugged

“No idea? In a rush to go somewhere?” You questioned, and he shook his head 

“No. Was just wondering” You nodded, turning back to the data, and he sighed, sitting down 

“You’re not going to stop, are you?” He questioned 

“Nope. I am not. I need to get this finished before the race starts” You sighed as he moved your hands away from the laptop and shut the lid, forcing you to look at him 

“If I was to kiss you right now, would it stop stressing out about the data?” He asked as your eyes widened

“What did you just ask?” You questioned 

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that out loud. I didn’t mean to say that out loud” He panicked as you turned to fully face him, leaning forward in your seat 

You looked into his eyes, trying to see any kind of emotion behind them to make sure what he was saying was actually true. You got up out of your seat, taking his hand and giving him a slight pull-up as you did. Max stood up, standing in front of you 

“Sorry. I really didn’t mean to say that” You leaned up, pressing your lips against his with a slight smile. Max froze for a second before kissing you back. One hand resting on the small of your back as the other stayed in your own. 

“Ew” Paul groaned loudly before there were a couple of thuds and the door slamming. You pulled back, looking over Max’s shoulder to see Paul covering his eyes outside. You couldn’t help but laugh a little 

“I get a life for the moment, and that’s how he reacts” Max laughed as you rested your head on his shoulder as he rested his own on your head. You waved Paul in through the window as Max rubbed your back. You couldn’t help but laugh a little again as Paul walked back in carefully 

“Warning next time, come on. With Rora in here as well?!” He exclaimed. You rolled your eyes as he picked Aurora, shielding her face from who knows what. Only he’ll ever know because it’s not a question that you were planning on asking him anytime soon. 

“I got your normal and for Max, I just guessed” Paul pointed towards the smoothies on the table 

“Thank you. Now, will you please put Rory back down and go warm up. I promise you can cuddle her after the race. Promise” You smiled, and he nodded, placing her down and walking out as you sat back down, turning to look at Max 

“Well if Paul’s away getting ready, I guess I have to let you get ready” He smiled, looking into the pram at Aurora. 

“Same as yesterday, but I’ve left a bottle in her bag. You just need to warm it up a little bit” you explained, and he nodded slightly 

“How do I do that?” He asked, and you chuckled, walking over 

“So take the plastic cover off ,obviously, then just put it in the microwave for like thirty seconds but make sure that it’s lukewarm on the inside of your wrist” Max’s head quickly turned around at that and you rolled your eyes with a laugh 

“It’s just formula, Max. Don’t worry, I just pre-made it for you” Max nodded, picking up her blanket and placing it over the handle of the pram. 

“Okay. We should be okay. If need be, I can text you, yeah?” He asked, and you nodded 

“Of course you can. Oh, and in the diaper bag next to her bottle there’s a little something for you” You smiled, leaning into the pram and pressing a kiss to Aurora’s head. 

“We’ll be good,” Max nodded with some kind of fake courage. You smiled 

“Be good for Maxie hmm” You kissed the babies head before standing up again and taking the few steps over to Max, who smiled down at you as you rested your chin on his chest 

“Don’t worry. Go do your job. We’ll be watching, or I will. The little muffin will probably be sleeping” You grinned, standing up on your tiptoes just a little to kiss him. You grabbed your computer before walking out of your office and out to the garage. 

“Did you get my email?” Oliver asked, and you nodded 

“I did. Congratulations. You’ll do good in F1” You smiled, shaking his hand as a congratulations 

“Thank you. There will be an email coming your way soon, no doubt” You couldn’t help but frown at that as Oliver walked away. Getting everything set up for Paul’s race both in the garage and the pit wall before the pre race mechanical stuff happened while you just sat there waiting.

Max did keep sending you pictures throughout the race that you couldn’t help but smile at when the notification kept coming through. Paul’s race went brilliantly as good as it could possibly get as Paul won. After the podium, you got yourself changed out of the wet Hitech uniform as Paul decided to pour the last of the champagne over your head during the pictures.

 You packed up everything after the debrief and headed over to the Mclaren hospitality again. It currently felt like you were never away from that place. As you walked through the paddock, you couldn’t help but still wonder what Oliver meant by there will be an email for you soon. It really did worry you a bit. 

You smiled at the woman standing outside the hospitality before walking in and spotting Max sitting in the corner with Aurora asleep in his arms all cuddled up. You couldn’t help but smile as you sat down on the couch next to him 

“Oh how I wish I could fall asleep like that” You sighed, and he chuckled 

“She’s been out for about twenty minutes. I gave her her bottle and she just fell asleep” You nodded 

“Sounds about right” You smiled, looking down at her. Her cheek pressed against Max’s chest as her tiny hand held onto one of his fingers. You couldn’t help but take a picture as you watched them. 

“Race went really well” Max grinned as you looked at him 

“It went really well. I’m so proud” you beamed. Eyes flicking down to Aurora 

“Do you want me to take her? She’s okay if you want to put her down in the pram” You frowned, knowing how easy it is to get a dead arm while holding her 

“She’s okay. I’m actually enjoying the cuddles rather than her pulling my beard out” You chuckled, caressing her cheek. 

“You still want to stay to watch the race?” He asked, tilting his head so he could see you better

“Yeah that would be nice” You grinned, getting more comfortable on the couch, knowing that Max wasn’t planning on moving to watch the race by the way he was sitting. Max smiled down at you, looking at your emails 

“Oliver said there’d be an email coming my way soon. Now I can’t stop looking at my emails” You sighed 

“Oliver Oakes?” Max questioned, and you nodded 

“Any idea what it was about?” Max asked, and you shook your head 

“Honestly, I have no idea. As long as I’m not being fired” You shrugged, and he nodded 

“I’d comfort you, but your daughter has stolen both my hands” You laughed 

“There’s worse ways for you to have your hands stolen” you replied 

“Guess that’s true” He smiled 

You sat for the next two hours with Max in the Mclaren hospitality watching the Formula One race. It was an experience you’d never actually forget. Not even just because you were sitting in the F1 paddock but because Max’s reactions to something so tiny were so large. 

As you were walking out the paddock with Aurora in her pram, Max walked next to you while Lando and Oscar trailed behind Max, turned his head to look at you

“I sent you an email during the race with the details for our date and for after it” You frowned 

“After it?” You asked, and he nodded 

“Got you on the flight with Lando and I so you could spend another night here” He explained 

“You didn’t have to do that” you replied 

“I know I didn’t have to, but I saw the perfect place for a date here. Couldn’t let it go to waste” He smiled

Coming Soon

Tag List

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[xxfrankiesteinksxx]

small details in the dnpc video no one is mentioning

okay, look, i'm gonna admit it, i'm a game/film theory girly and a whore for lore, so i pick at details i shouldn't be picking at, so here's some things i see in the video that i don't see being mentioned in theories/analyses. also keep in mind my brain consists of a single cell encapsulated in aspic (i know what the actual deeper meaning is this is just a bit of fun for me)

the thing underneath the piano - the camera falls off the piano in one scene and something (i still cant figure out what exactly it might be) is visible, oddly clear-looking for something underneath a broken piano in shoddy lighting (actually looking at it again it might be a corpse, is it possibly phil's old body?)

dan telling phil not to film him drawing the sigils but phil still filming - you might be able to also throw in the part where phil screams "NO" when the camera's on him sitting in the corner; they don't seem to want things to be filmed but it feels like they're obligated to record everything to some extent

phil's very explicit control over dan - this is to the point where he even has to tell dan what and what isn't food, and takes away water privileges for some reason (btw this is your reminder to drink some water) and overall very demanding tone when instructing him

SOFT AND NEAT - there's a lot of reinforcement of this, its clearly a joke but i'm overanalytical and will blatantly ignore this. there's heavy hesitation with any sharp object around them (when dan has to cut his hand, kill phil, take out phil's heart, mentioning razor blades when using the shaving foam)

dan still primarily uses his left hand - people have mentioned how he's been "fixed" but him using his right hand seems to be performative since he pours most things, mixes with his left hand, and even primarily uses his left hand to spread the blood (plus he never sacrificed himself unlike phil who seems to have died in potato stamps and been resurrected with perfect vision) there's also old superstitions that being left-handed means you're somehow cursed by/connected to satan, speaking of which...

dan has a much better connection and the ability to communicate directly with Him - he seems to be a conduit, possibly being used by phil to properly perform anything (which also probably helped with his resurrection and eyesight improvement), he has uncontrollable actions from time to time

the sigils themselves - what do they all mean? what could they mean in a bigger, symbolic context? anyone that understands them pls explain to my aspic brain

the entire place fucking burns down after the ritual is complete and they're embraced by Him - it's clear at least to me that the shed is set on fire at the end of the video, cutting off further possible footage

dan doesn't put blood on phil's forehead during the ritual - might've just been a slipup during filming but we also dont see the blood dan put on his own forehead once he arrives and theyre all standing up in the pentagram

also just a couple fun facts:

the number on the case file when converted to corresponding letters of the alphabet spell out "satan"

what dan says in his reversed clip is just "thanks!", nothing is really said in the reversed clip of phil opening the shed door its juts kinda a random noise someone made

Aaaaand some misc nonsense crackpot theories/ideas/thoughts/brain vomit that my brain keeps me awake at night with (optional reading):

if the demon taking them at the end is actually baphomet and not just some generalized idea of satan, then "mother" could be another way to refer to "him" since baphomet is portrayed as having both female and male characteristics (bobs n pennies)

personally this is scarier/more unnerving than the actual blair witch project for some reason

my bathroom sink is the one sink you cant ship

i want a dapc for those dolls they hung everywhere

is cataloguing all of the ritual setup part of the craft channel's purpose?

what was the reason for summoning him? did they bring him to our plane of existence to just let him absorb these two brink-of-twinks and then use their gay power to torment the straights?

oh that rope is just his belt thing not rope tying dip and pip together

i think this is a good wrap-up idk what they could do in a part 5 to conclude things better

[roseykat]

TITLE: Loss of Inihbition

WC: 1.5k

PAIRING: Hyunjin x reader

WARNING: minors DNI, I am and will be posting NSFW SKZ related content in the future and I know I won’t be able to regulate and monitor every single potential interaction with those posts so please just don’t engage with it or my page whatsoever. Much appreciated.  

TAGS: choking (m/receiving), oral fixations, established relationship, masturbation, there isn’t any use of pronouns but the reader has been described with a clit.

SUMMARY: Hyunjin wants to watch you get off while his fingers are in your mouth.

NOTE: hello, I’m Rose. I’m not exactly new to writing smut but, let’s just see how this rolls.

Hyunjin has never really been the type to tease. He’s a person who is intent on giving you what you want because he loves you and doesn’t like to see you suffer. In that sense, you’re not a brat about it, or more that you don’t need to act like one when he’s willing to give into you.

Not that you would be one in general, at least you don’t think. Not until today when Hyunjin, for the first time, decided to not fully give you what you craved.

What started off as the usual movie night on Friday, turned straight into something from a niche porn scene. On the couch in front of the TV, you share a warm blanket with Hyunjin curled up at his side. His arm had been draped around your shoulder, occasionally massaging your scalp or playing with your hair. He’d sneak a kiss on top of your head every now and then before things began to escalate.

At first, you hadn’t noticed that Hyunjin’s eyes had been fixated on you instead of the screen for a while. To really grab your attention, he’d ask for a kiss which you melted right into his request. From then on, his lips would never leave yours, luring you deeper into his trap.

The movie playing in the background drowns out, converting into white noise as you focus entirely on Hyunjin who lets the blanket softly fall to the ground and shifts you onto your back.

“Hyunjin,” you murmur when he breaks away from the kiss. The anticipation of what you think and hope is about to happen is put on pause when he regrettably stops the situation from advancing any further.

“Let me watch you,” Hyunjin mutters against your lips. “I want to see you get off by yourself.”

You blink at least several times before you can even fashion a coherent sentence in your brain. It’s not that it was an embarrassing task to perform, but you were somewhat…floored to hear what Hyunjin desired.

You’ve done this countless times without him there, but never when he’s right beside you and watching like a hawk. It makes you feel shy and partially helpless when he’s not participating with you.

“Can’t…can’t we just-“

“Maybe afterwards,” Hyunjin interrupts, already thinking two steps ahead of you.

The word ‘maybe’ didn’t sit right in your vocabulary. If this was the direction that things were going to head down tonight, you hoped that ‘maybe’ would turn into an affirmative ‘yes’ at some point. Complying with his need would possibly guarantee that. So, you obey.

Your hand slips past the band of your shorts and underwear then down to your clit, now fully aware of how wet you are to the touch. Not even five minutes of making out can already have your insides subliminally reeling with the subtleties of what this man can do to you.

A small whine escapes your mouth as Hyunjin peels himself off of your body. As he goes to lean back, he takes the ends of both sides of your pyjama shorts, slowly tugging them down to your ankles, leaving you exposed in your underwear and hoodie.

Your cheeks immediately flush with heat while he smiles faintly, too absorbed in the way you were touching yourself, almost as if he were possessed.  

“Don’t be shy baby,” Hyunjin prompts softly, noticing that your hand stopped moving. “Think about what I usually do to you if that helps.”

It did.

His advice drains your hesitation as you begin to envision the myriad of occasions where Hyunjin has brought you to multiple orgasms. Your brain coils with torrents of feverish memories as you continue to touch yourself. One that springs to mind was Hyunjin’s birthday. 

After showering him with well-deserved gifts, you were set on giving him the time of his life in bed until he suddenly turned the tables. By the end of that night, Hyunjin had bent you over the counter and finger fucked you until you were shaking and dripping on the tiles of the kitchen floor.

“Hyunjin,” you swallow hard, air hitching in your throat.

“That’s it,” he encourages.

Attempting to hold back your moans was a futile move, not when Hyunjin’s avid ears can effortlessly pick up on your staggered breathing. The faster the pace, the more he knew you were close to the edge of an orgasm. Only then did he lean over you once more, placing a chaste kiss on your parted lips before noticing that his long and spindly fingers hover in front of your mouth.

You understand his idea undoubtedly, but regardless of the euphoric haze that gradually submerged you, one thing that became apparent was that Hyunjin didn’t sport any of his rings. Based on that, you couldn’t help but wonder briefly if this was all premeditated.

Not that it mattered.

“Open,” he says to you, his fingers still waiting patiently. You swallow first and catch your breath before your mouth welcomes them in.

The warm heat encapsulating around Hyunjin’s fingers makes his dick twitch in his pants, almost easy enough to make him come untouched if he’s not careful. Seeing and hearing the lewd sounds you make when you begin to suck has Hyunjin’s mind swirling, making him dizzy.

It takes him twice the amount of restraint he needs to refrain from touching you altogether.

He continues to leave that job to you. Your fingers are enough to satiate that primal need to have Hyunjin inside of you - they’re not enough, but it does the trick. Sooner than later, the build-up of pleasure takes shape, balling in your lower abdomen as it makes you squirm under Hyunjin. Your free hand quickly grips at his forearm, nails digging into the skin.

“So good,” he praises in a sweet, dulcet tone.

His eyes refuse to leave your body, they never drift from your contorted face or where his fingers disappear into your mouth. They pet and glide easily over your tongue that yields to them so perfectly, glistening and coated in saliva. You try your best to suck on them even though you’re too crazed on trying to come.

It’s not long until you become frantic, rabidly chasing the tail end of your orgasm that you only wished Hyunjin would do for you. The intense sensation makes you feel deranged, so much that your free hand goes from gripping and clawing at Hyunjin’s arm to somehow finding its path to the sides of his neck.

Hyunjin’s eyes glaze over with pure hunger and greed as you increasingly add pressure to squeeze. It’s not the first time you’ve choked Hyunjin, in fact he was the one who initially rallied for the idea in the early stages of your relationship.

It was a swift discovery into his treasure chest of kinks that was not only subtle but insanely effective on him.  

His eyelids flutter as you moan and whine around his fingers just watching him enjoy this as much as you are. You continue to rub repeatedly over your clit in a heated and messy frenzy while the fabric of your underwear soaks through.

Hyunjin barely blinks in fear that he’s going to miss watching you writhe in pleasure when suddenly, your eyes screw shut as you bring yourself to the peak of an intense orgasm.

Long, loud strings of whimpers and mewls shoot vibrations through Hyunjin’s fingers and into his hand. He wasn’t able to explain why but it felt strangely good - nothing in comparison to seeing your body shudder and shiver uncontrollably when surges of pleasure swell throughout your insides.

He retracts his wet fingers that still linger along your lips, smoothing and rubbing over them. Your chest heaves up and down, long before it finds a steady, calm rhythm.

Hyunjin breathes hard and heavy too with a feral glint in his eyes after your hand falls from the sides of his neck, landing beside you. The other one, still down the front of your underwear, is brought up by the help of Hyunjin, who as if he’s totally unhinged now, takes your middle and index fingers in his mouth.

The sudden action has your eyes widening, “H-Hyunjin…”

You go to pull your hand back, wildly flustered about the fact that Hyunjin is sucking every bit of your essence off of your fingers. But he stills you with a sharp stare before he’s done, leaving a trail of spit connecting from your fingertips and his lips.

It’s obscene and lewd, yet the beautifully demented part of Hyunjin’s brain wishes he could’ve taken a photo of it. Maybe next time.

“Sorry,” he swallows. “You look so pretty when you come…I couldn’t help myself.”

You were utterly speechless yet not entirely surprised at the same time.

Hyunjin has never really been one to tease, but you forget there are times where he can be maniacally and incessantly aroused. Thinking about it makes something spark inside you once more. It makes you excited to feel it since Hyunjin has yet to have his own fill.

-

NOTE: I strictly do not permit any copying, editing, rewriting or remakes of my work nor do I allow them to be uploaded to any other site or social media platform. Tumblr is the only site I will be using to post this type of content so if you see it elsewhere, then it has been stolen.

[redpanther23]

ABOUT ME

First and foremost, I am a ceremonial magician. It may sound like a religion or superstition, but this is not the case. Ceremonial magic (or magick) is the practice of using ritual to alter consciousness, and from there, using consciousness to alter reality. It's not a religion, but a universal art and science. You may have heard differently from some quack doctors out there, but a true magician understands that their actions have no direct effect on anything but their own mind.

So what is a ritual? A ritual can be anything. Brushing your teeth is a daily ritual, Halloween a yearly one. Every single thing you do is an act of magic, the trick is to find a way to perceive it as such.

When you perform a ritual, you alter your consciousness, changing the chemical reactions inside your head. The atoms that make up those chemical reactions, those "imaginary" thoughts, are very real and physical, and they connect with every other atom, from the middle of your head to the end of the universe. Every single one connects to and reflects all the others. Therefore, when you change your mind, you change all of reality, even if it seems like a small thing.

Once this is understood, it becomes clear that everything is an extension of the mind. If you consider it, you'll find that you can't name one thing you've experienced that you haven't seen, smelled, touched, tasted, dreamed, or otherwise thought up inside your head. All those perceptions are processed by your brain (or other body parts) and therefore, all of reality only exists inside your mind, or as processed by your mind. Everything is connected to you, and is part of you. Or should I say me? So let's talk

ABOUT YOU

This is addressed to Americans.

If you are an American, I want you to consider for a moment your ethnic background. Maybe you're German, Scottish, Dutch, Cherokee, or Choctaw. If you answered anything but "English," and the only language you speak is English, you are the victim of ethnic cleansing.

"American" is a made-up ethnicity, invented by a colonial government occupying stolen land, which is trying to assimilate you. They do this through schools, where they forced you as a child to blindly pledge loyalty every day, a school your family was forced to send you to or else have you taken away, where you had to follow strict rules and learn to act in a certain way. They trained you to follow orders and instructions without question, like a machine. They stamped out your individuality as much as they could (I'm sure you remember.) They programmed you to be their slave.

Their war of conquest is no longer physical, but psychological. If they can take your history from you, they can make you into their pawn. What language did your family used to speak? What religion did they practice before being forcibly converted to Christianity? Your mind is free, do what thou wilt!

Turn on, tune in, drop out!

[blake447]

Why Pawns are the Worst 5D Chess Pieces

Pawns fuck everything up. They are my most favorite and most hated piece on the board. On one hand, they’re complicated, which is pretty interesting. On the other hand, they’re fucking complicated, which is infuriating. Let me explain why. Point one: Pawns are the only piece that make a distinction between “forward“ and “backward.“ When extending to higher dimensional space, the addition of extra directions begs the question, what does forward mean? Well, it depends on the layout of the board. Take this for example

We see that the x, z, and v axes do not bring us any closer to the opponents side, yet the y and w directions do. So should be allow a pawn to be able to move two “forward” directions (y-w) at once to capture? Obviously not! It breaks the balance of the game. Should we consider that restriction for all pieces? This is a fierce debate between me, and literally everyone I’ve every explained this to. I think we should. Point two: Pawns are a combination of 3 different pieces, each with unique conditions to their moves that almost no other piece has.

When actually coding an engine, you need to add all sorts of conditions that take this into account. The way I’ve done it is make the pawn a composite piece, consisting of a non-capture forward motion, a capturing forward-diagonal motion, or a starting double forward non-capturing motion. If we take this approach though, both queens, shogi pieces, and a check detector moveset can be defined as composites of other simpler pieces, with shogi pieces also utilizing “forward“ directions.

So complicated, but useful. Fine pawns, you win this one. Its interesting and actually not too hard, once you figure out all the fucked up conditions... for the most part...

Then you realize they can En Passant AND they’re the only piece to promote. Great, the promotion condition is made easy by defining extra-dimensional forwards, but the actual moves are worse. Not only is En passant only valid for one turn, but it also requires another piece be in a different location than the target motion, and captures a piece that it doesnt directly land on. No other piece capture works like this. Castling works fairly similar, and we can draw parallels to the two. You can view En Passant as first moving the pawn horizontally to capture, then moving it forward in a second command. Promoting is moving the pawn forward, and then moving a friendly queen on top of it. This also neatly applies to shogi drops. Castling is just moving the king and rook accordingly on the same turn, but like en passant requires another piece to be in a specific space other than where the king lands, and has non-checking conditions. Not that I want to think about Castling on a 5D Chess board, god forbid anyone fucking suggests it again. But what we learn from this is you need to break moves up into something smaller, that I call commands. A simple piece from ,piece to, coordinate from, coordinate to. By making moves out of these, they are also completely reversible. So great, moves are made of commands, we’re done here right? Not yet because this problem is made worst by the parallel universes.

See once we start introducing an actual multiverse, we start to need to perform multiple moves within a single turn, then submit our turn when all those moves are complete. Its not too bad if you’ve understood the move break down, but its still slightly annoying. Then comes the network. God fucking help me with the networking. Currently I’m writing a serializer that converts a turn into a series of integers and the nested structure is not conductive to that. This wouldnt be a fucking problem if it weren’t for the god damn pawns though. Note some of these are actually reverse pawns as well, so they can go the opposite direction around the torus.

[mysticmellowlove]

a/n; day two is here! to remind everyone the boy of the week is Seth! also this uni week is going to kick my teeth in so I'm already going to be a little bit behind schedule :') we vibin though

warnings; handjob, sub male, dom reader, gn reader, sub yandere, degradation,

word count; 575

"I know." His eyes widened as they loomed over him, their eyes set intently on the skin of his neck, their hands resting gently on his stomach. They towered over him, having knocked him to the ground only moments before. His breathing stuttered... they knew?

"You came into my house, jerked off over my body as I was sleeping, you really are a fucking freak aren't you?" They sneered as their hands pressed into his skin, their nails dug into him. He swallowed his hesitance, his moans, his lust.

They knew he had come into their house... but they didn't know everything. They didn't realise that he live-streamed himself coating them in his cum. They didn't know that his subscribers sent in hoards of money telling him that he was such a good boy, that they looked so nice covered in his seed... that they wanted to see more content like that.

"I...I'm sorry?" Even though he knew he sounded unconvinced, he had enjoyed himself and regretted nothing. The feeling of sacrilege that he felt fisting his cock before them. The rush of euphoria of converting their exposed tummy in sticky seed, marking them as his own... as his sugar, his beloved sugar.

They only rolled their eyes as their fingers danced around the head of his cock, his mouth dropped open in a gasp. The way they were playing with him, it was like they knew that he wanted them to own him. Shudders rocked through his body as he felt his mind fixate on what he wanted the future to be.

"Sloppy boy, look at all this pre. You really are just a little attention whore aren't you? Crawling into people's houses, jerking over their bodies and thinking that you'd be able to get away with it." He looked up at them, his eyes blurry from the beads of tears that threatened to run down his face as if he was nothing more than a debauched whore.

"Only you." He managed to breathe out between his moans, only they got him to feel this way, only their body made his mind race and his cock harden. Everything they did was wonderful, every word they said was gospel.

"Only me? And what have you done to prove that? Why should I believe someone like you?" Their eyes were gazing deep into his soul as if they knew what he was thinking at every given moment.

"Show me, show me you're dedicated to me and only me." A small smirk curled onto their lips as the slick sound of their hand moving rhythmically up and down filled his mind. The pleasure on his cock, the feeling of his muscles tightening in anticipation.

He came with a clipped shout, their name falling from his lips as their hand languidly stroked him through the wave of pleasure, their fingers so soft yet so demanding on his sensitive skin.

The whispers of their voice pulled him back down from the high he was sitting in as they pulled him into their warm embrace. He loved moments like this as well, when he could just be vulnerable in front of them after they had seen every single dirty part of him and his mind.

His eyes flickered up to his bookshelf, the small lens of his high-performing camera glared back at him. Teasing him about his dirty little secret.

[justforbooks]

Matthew Perry was a Friend to all, known the world over as Chandler Bing, always seconds away from a great wisecrack and a show-stopping grin. But he was also an addict. That was the “big, terrible thing” Perry referenced in the title of his memoir last year, giving it equal weighting with the TV series that made him an indelible celebrity, long after he had largely retreated from screens.

I read Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing last year and found it a jarring, often uncomfortable experience. It was one part juicy celebrity memoir, enlivened by the flashes of humour and winning self-deprecation that Perry (by his own admission) shared with his defining character; and one part harrowing account of a man intent on his own destruction.

Perry characterised himself as a ready-made, just-add-water addict: an alcoholic with his first drink at the age of 14, and hooked on painkillers with his first pill, prescribed after a jetski accident. High, he drove a red Mustang convertible across the desert, feeling “complete and utter euphoria”: “I remember thinking, ‘If this doesn’t kill me, I’m doing this again.’” It didn’t then.

Nearly a year to the day after Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing was published, Perry was found dead at his Los Angeles home in an apparent drowning. He was 54. Tributes from his friends and fans have rightly focused on Perry’s character and talent, with actors Morgan Fairchild (who played Perry’s on-screen mother) mourning “the loss of such a brilliant young actor” and Mira Sorvino of his “singular wit”. Even the Canadian prime minister, Justin Trudeau, (who knew Perry as a boy, and whom Perry claimed in his memoir to have beaten up) paid tribute to the “schoolyard games we used to play … Thanks for all the laughs, Matthew”.

Indeed, though Perry’s career never took off beyond Friends, he was arguably the standout performer in a talented cast of six. Any good-looking guy can be the smart-aleck, cracking jokes in the corner, but Perry imbued Chandler with energy and emotional depth.

Though defined by his deadpan delivery – Perry is right, when he wrote “that Chandler Bing transformed the way that America spoke” – he also had exceptional comic timing, and was a great physical performer. No one else has so effectively communicated combined dating anxiety and needing to pee. The fact that Perry managed to more or less keep it together over 10 seasons and 236 episodes, often while juggling ferocious substance abuse, is only further testament to his talent.

The success of Friends – not to mention the support from his castmates, his real-life friends – was what helped him to survive, Perry wrote. “There was no way I could have been a journeyman actor. I wouldn’t have stayed sober for that; it was not worth not doing heroin for that … When you’re earning $1m a week, you can’t afford to have the 17th drink.”

Perry also had a tricky part to play within the ensemble, in taking a platonic friendship between two cynics into a heartfelt romance. Chandler and Monica was Friend’s central love story, with none of the cushioning contrivances and strategic “breaks” of the series’ other pairings. In TV, as well as life, it’s harder to make yourself vulnerable and offer love steadily than it is to give in to doubt and run hot-and-cool: Perry showed that the smart guy, even the mean guy, could also be the nice guy you’d do well to marry.

In a series that has otherwise aged fairly poorly, Chandler and Monica are still an aspirational model for an equal partnership. As a teenager, I found it sweet when Chandler told Monica: “They can say that you’re high maintenance, but it’s OK, because I like … maintaining you.” As a far-from-easygoing, thirtysomething single woman, it is perhaps the most desirable declaration of love I’ve ever seen.

It is no wonder Perry was so beloved for his character. “For the longest time,” he wrote, he experienced it as a burden, though he had lately reached some kind of peace with Friends as his legacy. “If you’re going to be typecast, that’s the way to do it.” But at the widespread shock at his death, as the world woke up to the news on Sunday morning, you can picture Perry raising one quizzical eyebrow. As he wrote himself: “I didn’t stand a fucking chance.”

Perry might not have risked 17 drinks on set – but he would certainly try for 16. Especially during the later seasons of Friends, he was routinely drunk, high or hungover on set, prompting concern from Jennifer Aniston. (“‘We can smell it,’ she said, in a kind of weird but loving way.”) Even a “sober companion” to shadow him at work proved insufficient safeguard: when a read-through was cut short by Perry’s incoherence, the entire cast staged an intervention. When The One With Monica and Chandler’s Wedding aired, in May 2001, Perry was living in rehab.

For all Perry’s amusing celebrity anecdotes and determined good cheer, Friends, Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing reads primarily as an addiction memoir without an ending. Indeed, it read as though it had almost been written in real time: Perry’s colon had exploded in July 2019, only three years before its publication, and in January 2022 he underwent his 14th surgery relating to his drug addiction. “I finally have rock-hard abs, but they aren’t from sit-ups,” he wrote, perkily.

Perry described, often, the reward he drew from supporting other addicts: “The best thing about me, bar none, is that … I can help a desperate man get sober.” Nonetheless, I was struck while reading it that the more recent timeline of Perry’s using and abusing was somewhat opaque. It felt somewhat strategic: an attempt to obscure his current reality and lend heft to the suggestion that the worst of his troubles were behind him. But even Perry himself – no doubt encouraged to come to a positive conclusion – could not find a more upbeat note with which to end on than the fact that he was alive at all.

For all its gestures to sobriety, “looking forward” and moving into the future, the final chapter reads like Perry speaking from beyond the grave, reflecting on the faces of his loved ones as if he has already passed on.

The world might be shocked at his untimely death, but Perry knew that his addiction was going to kill him; he told us in print a year ago, in a book that reached six figures in sales. Indeed, he wrote, his most surprising takeaway was that it hadn’t already.

“There are two kinds of drug addicts,” Perry wrote of his preference for opiates over cocaine. “The ones who want to go up, and the ones who want to go down … I wanted to melt into my couch and feel wonderful.” You can only hope that, now, he is as close to happiness as he felt that morning in the red Mustang.

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at Just for Books…?

[steppingonyourshadow]

Selected excerpts from Xiao Zhan's Global People interview

Our interview with Xiao Zhan took place in the depths of the night. During the day, he had been busy with training camp for a new movie, and at night he attended a taping of a promotional program for his new show which ran until almost midnight. In the lounge which had been converted into our interview space hung the two outfits he wore today. Two pairs of white trainers sat on the ground. Once the equipment and the lights had been set up, there was almost no space to move.

After he finished the taping, Xiao Zhan changed as quickly as he could, fixed his hair and hurried to the lounge. Near the door, he stopped for just a moment, slowed his steps, came in. Greeted me coolly, sat quietly. Staff bustled around him, adjusting lighting, checking the mic. As he picked up and carefully read through the interview outline, there seemed to be a spotlight beaming down from above his head, separating him from the noise of the outside world, leaving only a man immersed in thought.

It seemed to be a habit of Xiao Zhan's to have some paper on hand. Acting coach Yang Xu, who has worked with him many times, once described him as "constantly with a script in hand". This comes partly from anxiety about the role, and also the respect he has for the character. As an actor with no professional training, Xiao Zhan still maintains a conscientious approach to performance.

This attitude, lurking beneath the surface, has been crucial to quietly helping him make the transformation from quantity to quality. In the past three years, Xiao Zhan starred in the play A Dream Like A Dream, with more than ten thousand characters of dialogue; there have been a steady stream of releases, ranging from costume to modern dramas, from fantasy to realist; when the TV series Where Dreams Began was released in June, audiences saw a more mature "actor Xiao Zhan".

"I think the way in which I'm most like Xiao Chunsheng is that if we decide on the right thing to do, we will persist with it all the way. In the show, Xiao Chunsheng had to make a lot of different choices as society changed around him, but the core of what he insisted on never changed, including how he is with his friends, family, and his life's work. He's kind of an obstinate person," Xiao Zhan told us.

"When people talk about you in the future, what do you hope they'll say?" We asked him.

"That show he was in recently was pretty good," Xiao Zhan says, smiling.

This is his intent, to be an actor who is known for his work. In recent years, Xiao Zhan has increasingly felt the special connection an actor has to the act of performance. At the end of the work day, back in his hotel room, he would often think back on the day with a strange sense of satisfaction.

"I'd feel really pleased, like oh, actually that scene was decent, all that hard work was worth it." Or he'd reflect, "that scene wasn't my best, if I could do it again I'd do better."

"Audiences tend to have a harsher, more critical view of non-professionally trained actors who attract a lot of attention like yourself. How do you view these comments?"

Three years ago, at an event to commemorate 110 years since the birth of the playwright Cao Yu, Xiao Zhan had a conversation with Cao Yu's daughter Wan Fang. Xiao Zhan asked her: "is truthfulness the most important thing in doing creative work?"

"With equanimity. Like the line from Where Dreams Begin, 'the more difficult road is the one heading up'. If their comments have merit, then I'll take them on board and make changes next time. For me, an actor speaks through their works, so everything should serve the work."

Wan Fang replied with a line from her play 'Winter's Journey': "There's no single path toward truth, truth is its own path."

Xiao Zhan carried this answer with him. He knew that this was also the attitude one should take to performing - there are no shortcuts on the way to a good performance; it can only be achieved through sincerity and persistence.

[ghostkingdoesstuff]

PJO episode five! (Fashionable late, but we rally)

Opening with the polluted waters of the Mississippi River In the intro card. Thank you to the commenter who corrected me last week.

Add a checkmark for Percy and Co domestic terrorism checklist.

Percy, thinking his friends are mad at him only to be dumb found by a hug.

No hug for Grover Underwood. Cry every time.

Percy is thinking. the neurons are firing.

Percy is unable to think.

Grover Underwood being a response 24 year old

ARIES THE TWITTER TROLL

✨️Aries also fuel shipping wars, keep it civil tumbler✨️

A family born of Khaos

Properly menacing performance, casting a pro wrester was so the way to go.

Annabeth has never seen a movie. Ok, Feredrick Chase.

Grover and Aries is a conversion I didn't know I needed to hear but I'm very happy I did.

Grover's convert Narsasism disguised as altruism like some sort of- TALE AS OLD AS TIMEEE! and Aries falls for it.

The obervers of perabeth: love it , neutral, or hate it. all rejoice, for the budget allowed for Alexander Nestor Haddaway's hit debut single, "what is love"

Percy remembers his mom's stories. Percy says something dumb. Annabeth is checking his ass.

Let the horror comence: thinking about the complex implications of the pjo family tree and the insidious effects on the characters' psychology.

Grover masterfully playing to Aries ego, true heart of the trio.

HE HANDED HER THE PEN HOLY SHIT

Percy sacrifices himself in Hera's throne reafferms Walker as a ✨️golden✨️ casting choice for Percy

"He isn't like that," Can't lie, that made me feel something.

5'7" Percy jackson unabashedly standing up to 6'5" god of war, Aries does something to my lizard brain. (Yes, I had to Google that fact for the bit)

Truck to Vegas, baby! Wooooooo

Oh, do you know Grover? Im sure you do.

Lin Manuel Miranda next week, The Lotus Hotel, and many more hijinks. Pacing of this episode felt more on beat this week.

✨️excitement✨️

[cherrylng]

Muse Retrospective Interviews [STYLE Series #004 - Muse (August 2010)] - Matthew Bellamy (July 2003)

“A person's life is made up of things on various levels, including the past, and I think the music that is born from the unification of these things can be said to be the purest form of expression.”

After the chaos caused by their debut with “Showbiz” and the success and breakthrough of “Origin of Symmetry,” the three members of Muse have finally been able to sit down and work on a new album. This is an official interview conducted in London just before the release of the album. The interview was conducted with Matthew, Dom, and Chris individually, in that order, and their confident attitude is well conveyed.

Interview and text by Kaoru Abe

Matthew Bellamy “The last two albums and the time spent on them have been a journey for me, so I thought it was time to punctuate and take a break.”

London, July 2003. The intense heat wave, later dubbed “the most destructive weather disaster in European history,” affected the UK, which does not need air conditioning, and even Muse's private studio, which was designated as the interview site, was in no condition for a proper talk unless all the windows were fully open. Despite this, Matthew Bellamy appeared with a cool face and was in a completely relaxed mood, playing his old piano mischievously during a chat before the interview. There was none of the tense atmosphere that I had felt when I interviewed him in London two years ago, nor was there the sense of innocence that I had felt on my first visit to Japan, but rather, there was a smooth, freshness of heart that had been peeled off.

The studio, located in a quiet residential area of East London, was a converted flat that no one would have guessed was owned by Muse, and it exuded a sense of everyday life that was far removed from his rock star image. When we entered the studio, I honestly could not believe that this was where the basic idea for “Absolution” was born, but Matthew's words, as he began to talk to us from his comfortable position on the old sofa, told us that a flat state of mind for the three of us was the key to the album's production. The fact that the interview took place in a private studio was also a factor and a smart move on the part of the band, as it allowed us to gain a deeper understanding of how the making of the album began with a return to their pre-debut selves.

The idea was born in the studio, and the album was then brought to fruition while traveling to studios in Ireland and Los Angeles, and through the whole process, the band seems to have untangled itself from the tangle brought about by its busy and extraordinary schedule. And when those tangles are completely untangled, the completed “Absolution” will naturally become close to the soul of Muse and to Matthew's soul. In this sense, it is self-evident that the album takes on a more personal color, both in terms of the band and Matthew, as evidenced by Matthew's fast-talking and eloquent words.

—The 2-CD “Hullabaloo Soundtrack” consists of the B-side collection of the singles released last year (2002) and the live performance. What was the meaning behind the subtitle “soundtrack”? Matthew: I named it that because the live part is the soundtrack aspect of the live DVD “Hullabaloo - Live at Le Zenith”. The DVD is sort of like a documentary film about Muse, a live band.

—Did you feel like you were resetting your mind by putting together the “past” of your B-side collection and the “present” of your live show? Matthew: Between “Showbiz” and “Origin of Symmetry,” I had been working nonstop, with no personal time at all, and at some point I realized that the two albums and the time spent on them were a journey for me. I felt it was time to hit a punctuation point, and that a new approach was needed, so I took some time off before moving on to the third album. So, as you say, the time leading up to the third album was a turning point for us.

—The double A-side single “Dead Star/In Your World” (2002) marked a transitional period for the band. Matthew: I would say it was more a part of the live DVD than a transitional period. We knew beforehand that those two songs would not be on the third album.

—I found it surprising that you covered “Can't Take My Eyes Off You” (by Frankie Valli) in “Dead Star/In Your World”. Matthew: We have released covers of “Feeling Good” (Nina Simone) and “Please Please Please” (The Smiths) in the past, but we have definitely dared to take songs that are different from our own musical style, including this one, in order to do something that Muse cannot do. By doing so, we may find a new direction, and there is a possibility of doing pop music in the future, so the covers are more of an experiment than just enjoying our favorite songs. Incidentally, “Can't Take My Eyes Off You” was inspired by a TV show called “Re:covered” (BBC Choice), which featured covers and original songs.

“My songwriting process starts with the sound first, then the lyrics, then the title, and so on, but I usually write down bits and pieces of phrases that come into my head, rather than being influenced by the sound.”

—The downloadable single “Stockholm Syndrome” is the prologue to “Absolution.” Why did you choose the title of the song, which is a self-brainwashing mental situation for the weak? Matthew: My songwriting process starts with the sound first, then the lyrics, then the title, and so on, but I usually write down bits and pieces of phrases that come into my head, rather than being influenced by the sound. In the case of “Stockholm Syndrome,” the title came from the overall picture of the lyrics, a kind of contradictory mental situation in which one is in an oppressive environment and yet feels a sense of happiness, but I did not want to give it a very specific meaning. So, depending on the listener, it could be taken as social oppression, domination by God, and relationships between humans. …… I did not want to give a specific meaning to the title. For the writer, it is just a vague image (laughs).

—What did you have in mind when creating the sound for “Stockholm Syndrome”? Matthew: I think it is basically a traditional rock track, but I was conscious of the dynamic changes. I think we were able to deviate from the typical rock flow by not softening it up at the chorus and adding a more intense rock element. In that sense, it might be similar to a “New Born”-like development. It's like a tsunami that crashes down with more waves on top of it.

—The recording of the album “Absolution” not only took a long time, but was also recorded in different environments, in England, Ireland, and Los Angeles. This must have kept the inspiration fresh. Matthew: The production started in this studio (the band's private studio). After we had the basics down here, we flew to Ireland, where we recorded strings and other orchestral sounds. I was actually under a lot of stress when I was working in London, so I went to Ireland for a change of environment. Unlike London, where there are many people, including people I know, there is really nothing around the studio, so I was able to concentrate on the music and work on it in a more personal time frame. We recorded the drums in a swimming pool, and since the place itself was like a farm, we experimented with sounds using farming tools that were lying around (laughs). After that, we flew to Los Angeles for mixing, where I was able to record some nice vocal harmonies. I quite like it myself, but don't you think it's good too? (laughs)

—As a lover of “Pet Sounds” (Beach Boys), I was also impressed by the exquisite harmonies. Matthew: That analogy is funny (laughs). I'll tell Chris later because I like him. We actually recorded it in the same studio where “Pet Sounds” was made. Maybe it's because we recorded it in the same place…… We may indeed have something in common in that eerie atmosphere (laughs).

—What are the musical benefits of having two opposite production environments, London and Ireland? Matthew: When you work in one studio all the time, you get too used to the sound. When you listen to the finished product again, it sounds monotonous or …… Even if you think the sound is good there, it often sounds boring when you play it in another studio. In that sense, it made a lot of sense to change the location. If the concept or structure of an album is focused on one thing, it is possible to settle down in one studio, but for an album like this, which is a collection of various themes, I thought it would be better to record in different places to give it more diversity in many ways. I thought it would be possible to add diversity in many ways if we recorded in different places.

—Regarding the diverse themes of the album, did the timing of its production coincide with the attack on Iraq by British and U.S. forces have any influence? Matthew: The songs themselves were mostly written before the Iraq war, so it didn't directly affect me, but the timing of the production coincided with the war, and I often witnessed massive protests at the time. So I think it affected my mood. Even though the song was already written, it gradually took on a different meaning. When the lyrics happened to coincide with the social situation of the time, the meaning was pulled toward that feeling…… That said, I never intended the songs to have a political meaning. This album focuses on feelings and moods, so for example, it depicts things like our own helplessness and the misuse of faith.

—Is this feeling or mood reflected in the title “Absolution,” which means “absolution”? Matthew: The powerlessness and misuse of faith that I mentioned earlier makes up about 40% of the album, and the other 60% is more personal. The (Iraqi) war also gave me a chance to think about the atmosphere of the times that it created, and it made me think that the trivial things around me were very valuable…… In retrospect, perhaps I was explaining the chaos within me by making music. The process of giving an easy-to-understand narrative to what I was feeling was the making of this album, and in doing so, I wanted to show that there are more important things in the world than what we see on a daily basis. It was also a very valuable experience for the band to be able to do that.

“I feel spiritual when I'm playing the piano, and when I'm playing the guitar, I feel like I have some sort of animal instinct within myself.”

—I think the persuasiveness of the musical narrative has been deepened by giving order to the chaos, not by expressing it as chaos, but by giving it a counterbalancing order in the form of a melody. I think this was also a major change this time around. Matthew: I think it was a very natural change for us, not a conscious one. First of all, by not doing anything for a while after last year's Reading Festival, we got ourselves back to where we were before “Showbiz”. When we started the band, we were just making music and playing for ourselves, but as we started to release our work, and as it was accepted by more and more people, not only the situation around us changed, but we changed as well. I think “Origin of Symmetry” was a clear representation of the chaos that came with such a change. This time, we had no schedule at all, and the time we spent on making the album allowed us to feel very free. We were able to change ourselves again and face the music with a fresh mindset, as if we were starting a new band. In fact, the last few months we have been living the kind of life that most people would do at home, and it has been a great opportunity for the members to get to know each other. So if there has been a change in our sound, it is because we have changed.

—It's a real “New Born” feeling. Matthew: (laughs) You could say that.

—As for Matthew himself, it seems that you have become more active as a pianist as well as a guitarist. I have heard that you have a lot of respect for (Sergei) Rachmaninoff, but was he a big influence on the piano you played this time? Matthew: Originally, I had in mind the piano sounds of early to mid Romanticism and early contemporary music (Franz Liszt and (Sergei) Prokofiev, for example), but in “Butterflies and Hurricanes,” I wanted to mix the dynamics of a piano concerto with those of a three-piece band. By doing so, I think we were able to express the strength of the emotional impact.

—What is the difference between a guitarist and a pianist in your mind? Matthew: I'm not naturally one to settle on one thing, so I tend to sing, play guitar, and play piano (laughs). But I have to do this and that, so I guess I'm at an average level in all areas now (laughs). When I play the piano, I feel spiritual, and when I play the guitar, I feel aggressive, like I have some kind of animal instinct. Interestingly, the moment I move to the piano after playing the guitar for a long time, I feel as if I am in heaven. I can write a song within two or three minutes of playing the piano, but on the other hand, when I play the piano for a long time and then move to the guitar, a tremendous amount of energy wells up from within, and music is born from there as well.

—The music of Muse, which burns from within, seems to give solid form to something spiritually formless. Matthew: I don't often listen to what I make myself, but when I listen to other people's music and watch them play, I feel a sense of security, or at least a good sense of certainty, about my own music. Maybe that's why I continue to play music. The reason I like classical music so much is that no matter how long after a composer's death, the music remains strong. In that sense, I feel a spirituality in my music, and that is something I would like to continue experimenting with in the future.

—What you just said reminded me of the words of the American writer Don DeLillo (“White Noise,” “Underworld,” etc.), who said, “The deeper you go into expression, the more naturally you are led back into your own consciousness.” Matthew: That is an interesting point. Especially in this case, it was a good opportunity for us to reevaluate ourselves and accept where we are now while making the album. I don't really know how we've changed. I can't remember what I was like before, so I can't compare it to what I am now (laughs).

—As for who you are now, I overheard it during the chat before the interview, but how does love influence the album? Matthew: There are a few songs that do. For example, “Falling Away With You” is about the chaos of love, but in a good way. And “Endlessly” is a straightforward love song.

—You never wrote a love song before? Matthew: I tried to write a love song around the time of “Showbiz,” but “Endlessly” is the first proper love song I've written (laughs). Even with previous songs, even though they had elements, they weren't all love songs.

—Finally, what does the album title “Absolution” mean? Matthew: Actually, I was more conscious of the meaning of “purity” than “absolution”. A person's life is made up of things on many different levels, including the past, but I think the music that comes from bringing those things together is a pure form of expression. I don't know how other people see it, but that's how I feel.

—I am looking forward to seeing how this work will be expressed in a live performance. Matthew: I already have a lot of ideas, and I would like to do something involving animation at some point. The first step would be to make a video, and then build the stage from there. I think it would be a good idea to include other musicians, such as a choir, and I'm looking forward to it myself.

Dom's interview

Chris' interview

[totallylost4you]

Kaylor fights and/or break-ups

Grab some tissues. It hits different 😭 ____________________________________

In May 2015, a blind item came out that said Karlie was moving things out from Taylor's apartment.

2020: Five years later in the song EXILE, Taylor referred to this fight that they supposedly had in the same way.

In 2019, Taylor on the album LOVER made it clear that her muse is from the USA, that New York screams her muse's name and that her muse has a garden gate in the West Village Karlie is from the USA, New York screams her name and she had a garden gate in the West Village.

That place was very special for their relationship because Taylor was seen there very often and she moved to New York and bought an apartment near there to hang out with Karlie in her apartment.

2019: A month after the album LOVER came out, Karlie sold her apartment in the West Village which has a garden gate.

👇👇 READ ON 👇👇 READ ON

And a year later (2020), in EXILE Taylor refers to this by saying that this person was her town, but that she is now in exile watching this person out (??selling their special place and moving out??)

I think I've seen this film before. And I didn't like the ending. You're not my homeland anymore. So what am I defending now? You were my town. Now I'm in exile, seein' you out. I think I've seen this film before.

YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN single was released on June 14, 2019

On June 25, 2019 a blind item came out saying that if Taylor wanted to come out, she couldn't mention Karlie:

And also Karlie did an interview about how much she enjoyed her new life and Taylor is briefly mentioned in it as one of her "friends", as if she was just a wrinkle

And a year later - 2020 - Taylor would refer to this in CLOSURE saying that her lover is now enjoying a new life and how Taylor feels that she is a wrinkle or something that could ruin the new life that person has built without her

RIGHT WHERE YOU LEFT ME (2020): I could feel the mascara run. You told me that you met someone. Glass shattered on the white cloth. Everybody moved on. I, I stayed there.

In 2018 and 2019, Karlie had two weddings and even though Taylor was invited, she didn't attend, she said absolutely nothing about it and Taylor's team just said she was too busy

October 2018: But the same day or the next (it's confusing because of the time zones) of the first wedding Taylor sang I KNEW YOU WERE TROUBLE completely sad as a surprise song. Taylor and Karlie met when Taylor was performing that song

Two years later - 2020 - Taylor would refer to these weddings in EVERMORE. In RIGHT WHERE YOU LEFT ME Taylor sings about how the person she used to love left her and shortly there after married and built a new life without her

In this song there is a clear reference to a tradition in Jewish Weddings. Glass shattered on the white cloth. Karlie converted to Judaism and had a Jewish Wedding

"Hair pin drop": We all know that this line is gay and what it means in this context is that Taylor's silence and her not attending Karlie's two weddings was something that confirmed that there was something more than a friendship between them

Did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen? Time went on for everybody else, she won't know it. She's still 23 inside her fantasy. How it was supposed to be. Did you hear about the girl who lives in delusion? Break-ups happen every day, you don't have to lose it. She's still 23 inside her fantasy. And you're sitting in front of me.

Taylor was 23 when she became Karlie's bff.

CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS (2020) is about how Taylor lost her golden muse because she wasn't ready to get married and how she watched this person walk away not knowing what to do

"One for the money two for the show" Karlie had two weddings and this phrase appears in the photoshoot they did together in 2014

In HAPPINESS (2020), Taylor tells how she spent seven years with this person and how she felt like she was in heaven. Taylor wrote this song a month after it was seven years since she met Karlie

This is a clear reference to Karlie because in REPUTATION and LOVER, Taylor relates heaven and religion to this person. Karlie was a Victoria's Secret Angel

HITS DIFFERENT (2022): Dreams of your hair and your stare and sense of belief. In the good in the world, you once believed in me. And I felt you and I held you for a while. Bet I could still melt your world. Argumentative, antithetical dream girl. // Movin' on was always easy for me to do. It hits different (Yeah). It hits different 'cause it's you.

Are all the Eras tour BETTY stories true? Taylor already said Betty is the love of James' life. James had to fight to get Betty back! And she believes in a Happy End. (SEE THIS LINK)

Are we getting a Kaylor reunion or was that it...?! Anything to add?

(most parts by lavenderfishboy!)

[jiminiminycrickerrttt]

my thoughts on religion that nobody asked for :)

Like many Hindu children, I had my annaprashan (a first rice ceremony) at 7 months old. Bengalis tend to believe that odd months (5 and 7) are particularly auspicious times to hold such ceremonies for baby girls. Conversely, baby boys would have their annaprashans on even months. Immigrating to Canada left us in a desperate search for community and companionship, the best place to find this, of course, was by connecting with any given Hindu Society in any given county. I remember attending various pujas for various deities, having a shallow understanding of their lores and mythologies, and learning the different songs and hymns used to worship them to sing on a stage after the evening prayers. 

Scindia Kanya Vidyalaya, the girls-only boarding school that I attended for 5th and 6th grade when we lived in Gwalior had a 97% Hindu majority student body. We celebrated the usual holidays, of course, though this time the performances and sermons were more spectacular, and were held in an auditorium instead of a rented out church basement. We were given days off from our classes, special meals, and were able to wear clothes and accessories that were not a part of our uniforms. Despite all of the pomp and circumstance, I can’t seem to remember exactly why we were celebrating these holidays. I haven’t attended a formal puja in 6 years. 

When I was around 7, I remember a particularly eclectic aunty showing up to a Bengali function. She had just flown in from her travels around Nepal, proudly proclaiming that she was a newly converted Buddhist. From her purse she pulled out a Sanskrit prayer book filled with Buddhist chants that she could not read. She had English transcriptions of each syllable under each line that told her how to pronouncers each phrase and which words to stress and not stress. Regardless, she made a show of praying aloud in front of everyone before dinner, and vowed to learn how to read Sanskrit as a step in her path to enlightenment. 

Many of the other guests were not particularly impressed by her, but my mother was taken immediately. She asked the aunty where she purchased her copy of the Vinaya Pitaka and was immediately gifted the spare one which had been kept in her bag in case she was asked this very question. For six months afterwards, my mom would pray every single morning and every single night, chanting those same repetitive lines over and over and over again, buying more books with insights into the teachings of Gautama. She however, did not need handwritten English transcriptions. She would follow up those prayers with a solid 20 minutes of silent meditation, and would break that silence to scold me every time I tried to distract her. I can’t recall exactly when she stopped praying, and I can’t find any of those books that she bought in the house today. 

That same year, she became friendly with our neighbours, whose names I cannot remember. What I can remember is the smell of khoresh fesenjoon the mother would make while preparing for Iftar during the days she would babysit me after school while my mother was at work. She taught me how to determine which direction north/northeast was when praying, explained Mecca to me, how it was the holiest, most sacred piece of land in the universe, and shook me awake when I would fall asleep on the prayer rug. I once asked her if she was bald under her hijab, she then asked me if I was empty in the head. 

The  language they spoke, the way they kneeled down to pray, and the kameezes and kurtas and saris they would wear for religious holidays all bore a striking resemblance to Hinduism for me, at that age I don’t even think I thought of them as different religions. But there was something much more intimate, much more profound that I could sense in the way that they prayed. For years afterwards I would dream of Mecca as a magical, spiritual, fantastical city with glittering stone pathways and magnificent towering marble architecture that could solve all of one’s problems and conquer all of one’s fears just by existing. I also remember vividly seeing gigantic orange dragons in those same dreams. To this day I cannot draw any correlation between the two, but whenever I think of Islam, I think of dragons. 

In 2015, shortly after we moved back to Canada, my mother and I were baptized. At the time there were no Hindu societies in the Drayton Valley-Devon area, but there was one single Multicultural society. Once again in search of community we joined it immediately. The president of the Multicultural society, Bharti Khulisia, was an Indonesian woman of Indian descent who had lived in Drayton Valley for over 15 years. She was married to a foul-mouthed (though well-meaning) man named Dennis who has some sort of generic but lucrative job in the trades. Bharti Aunty told me that I reminded her of her granddaughter, and told my mother that she reminded her of herself when she was younger. Immediately, we were hooked. She was also a devout Christian who had gone on missions across South America. She would take my mom to church on most Sundays, who began taking me shortly after. I remember being annoyed at having to stand during the 20 (twenty!!!) minutes of singing at the beginning of each session, and otherwise being mostly indifferent towards the sermons. I did enjoy the post-church barbecues, though. 

Months after we began attending church, Bharti Aunty convinced my mother to get us both baptized for reasons that I can’t quite recall (again). I had to write a small speech about finding Christ, was dunked into a hot tub of cold water at some sort of ceremonial hall, and was given a free t-shirt to change into and a baptismal certificate afterward. Neither of which I can find today. 

When I started making my own money, I bought copies of each religious book and scanned them over again to see if anything would resonate, if anything would stick. The Quran (the Hindi translation, sorry), the Bible (which I skimmed, admittedly), the Bhagavad Gita (took me a solid eight months to get through that thing), and the Vinaya Pataka (I’ll get around to reading the other two Patakas eventually) were all profound in their own respective ways, all evoked emotion and revelation, all managed to mould and shape my morality, and all seemed to kill my perception of what I thought God was. The problem that I had not anticipated was that everything, in fact, had stuck. 

Fortunately by then, I had discovered mathematics. The insurmountable weight that was taken off my shoulders when I realized that everything was a statistical anomaly and/or prediction, when billions upon billions of years of physics and chemistry and biology happily worked together to create the world that we live in, that the reason we are here on this earth, asking these questions and contemplating these concepts is simply due to the unknowable mathematical coding of the universe that dictated the consecutive major events that gave us consciousness in the first place, cannot be overstated. It was so immensely freeing to place all of my beliefs onto something far greater and far more complex than I could ever fathom, something so beyond me that I didn’t even need to fully understand it to know that it was there. To believe in something unshakable, to base my beliefs in something that surpassed the powers and expectations of any being on earth. To read through my math textbooks, to listen to TED-Talks in order to gain insight and clarity on my silly little mortal problems. 

But what if I’m wrong? What if there is a God? And what if they are angry at me, positively incensed at me for denying them completely? Do I place my bets based on the statistical evidence of how likely it is for a single religion to be true? If I do end up in hell, will I be satisfied that I remained steadfast to my beliefs or will I spend an eternal punishment being regretful that I had not subscribed to the correct one?

Isn’t questioning your faith one of the biggest components of being faithful anyways?

[whileiamdying]

Sinéad O’Connor, acclaimed Dublin singer, dies aged 56

The Irish musician found worldwide fame with hit single Nothing Compares 2 U in 1990

Sarah Burns Wed Jul 26 2023 - 18:31

Irish singer Sinéad O’Connor has died at the age of 56, her family has announced.

In a statement, the singer’s family said: “It is with great sadness that we announce the passing of our beloved Sinéad. Her family and friends are devastated and have requested privacy at this very difficult time.”

The acclaimed Dublin performer released 10 studio albums, while her song Nothing Compares 2 U was named the number one world single in 1990 by the Billboard Music Awards.

Her version of the ballad, written by musician Prince, topped the charts around the globe and earned her three Grammy nominations.

The accompanying music video, directed by English filmmaker John Maybury, consisted mostly of a close-up of O’Connor’s face as she sung the lyrics and became as famous as her recording of the song.

In 1991, O’Connor was named artist of the year by Rolling Stone magazine on the back of the song’s success.

Ms O’Connor was presented with the inaugural award for Classic Irish Album at the RTÉ Choice Music Awards earlier this year.

The singer received a standing ovation as she dedicated the award for the album, I Do Not Want What I Haven’t Got, to “each and every member of Ireland’s refugee community”.

“You’re very welcome in Ireland. I love you very much and I wish you happiness,” she said.

Taoiseach Leo Varadkar led the tributes to O’Connor, expressing his sorrow at the death of the singer in a post on social media.

“Her music was loved around the world and her talent was unmatched and beyond compare. Condolences to her family, her friends and all who loved her music,” said Mr Varadkar.

Tánaiste Micheál Martin said he was “devastated” to learn of her death.

“One of our greatest musical icons, and someone deeply loved by the people of Ireland, and beyond. Our hearts goes out to her children, her family, friends and all who knew and loved her,” he said.

Ms O’Connor is survived by her three children. Her son, Shane, died last year aged 17.

She drew controversy and divided opinion during her long career in music and time in public life.

In 1992, Ms O’Connor tore up a photograph of Pope John Paul II on US television programme Saturday Night Live in an act of protest against sex abuse in the Catholic Church.

“I’m not sorry I did it. It was brilliant,” she later said of her protest. “But it was very traumatising,” she added. “It was open season on treating me like a crazy bitch.”

The year before that high-profile protest, she boycotted the Grammy Awards, the music industry’s answer to the Oscars, saying she did not want “to be part of a world that measures artistic ability by material success.”

She refused the playing of US national anthem before her concerts, drawing further public scorn.

In more recent years, O’Connor became better known for her spiritualism and activism, and spoke publicly about her mental health struggles.

In 2007, Ms O’Connor told US talkshow Oprah Winfrey that she had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder four years previously and that before her diagnosis she had struggled with thoughts of suicide and overwhelming fear.

She said at the time that medication had helped her find more balance, but “it’s a work in progress”.

Ms O’Connor had also voiced support for other young women performers facing intense public scrutiny, including Britney Spears and Miley Cyrus.

The singer converted to Islam in 2018 and changed her name to Shuhada Sadaqat, though continued to perform under the name Sinéad O’Connor. In 2021, Ms O’Connor released a memoir Rememberings, while last year a film on her life was directed by Kathryn Ferguson.

Broadcaster Dave Fanning said Ms O’Connor would be remembered for her music and her “fearlessness” and “in terms of how she went out there all the time, believed in everything she was doing, wasn’t always right and had absolutely no regrets at all”.

American rapper and actor Ice T has paid tribute to O’Connor, saying she “stood for something”, after her death at the age of 56.

In a Twitter post, he wrote: “Respect to Sinead….. She stood for something ... Unlike most people ... Rest Easy”.

Musician Tim Burgess of Northern Ireland band Ash said: “Sinead was the true embodiment of a punk spirit. She did not compromise and that made her life more of a struggle. Hoping that she has found peace.”

Penguin Books Ireland, which published her memoir ‘Rememberings’, said they were “so sorry” to hear of the death of the singer.

“Sinéad was a once in a generation talent and we were honoured to publish her memoir ‘Rememberings’,” they said. “We would like to extend our heartfelt condolences to her family and friends.”

Sarah Burns is a reporter for The Irish Times.