#this was my first time shooting film (and first time developing/scanning it on my own)

[believesthings]

Not Just A Girl - Chapter 2 // Jason Sudeikis x Reader

Summary: You’re a new up and coming actress. At your first awards show, you run into your celebrity crush, Jason Sudeikis. Trying to navigate the bond you form with him while both juggling your respective careers proves to be quite the task with some unexpected twists along the way.

Tag list: @my-soupy-brain @tegan8314 @tortilla-maria1

Warning: description of car crash due to drunk driving

After an exhausting but also enjoyable day with Will promoting All Your Monsters, you decide it’s time to follow your agent’s advice to buckle down and work through some of the scripts you’ve been sent for upcoming projects. You haven’t put nearly the amount of effort into it that you should. You always give up halfway through the stack because you find you aren’t connecting with them as much as you did with your debut project.

You know at this point Todd just wants a general direction. If you could at least give him an idea of what genre of film you’re interested in, he would be pleased. He promised to bring you by dinner as well as a new stack of scripts for you to consider. He gently lays it all down (along with a stack of your mail, bless him) and he leaves soon after. He wanted to leave you be in case there was a chance that his presence would be distracting for you.

You glance over them momentarily but decide to put your focus into dinner first, sorting through your mail while you eat. Once you’re no longer sitting on an empty stomach, you’ll feel more prepared to take on the task at hand.

You decide to start at the top of the stack and just work your way through one by one. No need to overcomplicate things. Scanning through the pages of the script beneath you, you heart goes out to Todd. He’s a damn good agent. He’s already done an initial screening process of sorts, taking notes and placing them inside the cover page on the manuscripts so really all that’s left you for you to do is to just pick one.

His first note says “semblant romance” although you’re not quite sure what that means. Right below he’s written: don’t abandon it too soon. It takes a little time to develop.

And sure enough, he was right. It takes some time to warm up to the story but you can’t deny after flipping through several scenes that you’ve become enamored with the characters, Mia and James. You decide to scribble your own notes right below Todd’s handwriting.

You decide to take a minute to stand up and stretch, admiring the view from your room. You have a pretty nice view of the cityscape which you’ve come to appreciate over time living here.

Moving on the next script on the pile, you tilt your head to take in Todd’s scribbling on the bright pink post it. You’ll love the setting of this one - very futuristic. Killer cast too. I’m not telling you who, so don’t bother to ask.

You roll your eyes at this. You could just look it up and he would never know. As if he could read your thoughts, you see his next sentence. Don’t look it up. Just read the script and decide for yourself.

Chuckling at how well he seems to know you, you comply, reading on and finding out that he called it exactly right - you did love the setting of this one.

You make it about 75% of the way through before coming across another post-it. Okay, I’m sure you’re dying to call. Feel free. It doesn’t matter the time of day.

You shoot him a text. Despite the fact that you have it in writing that it doesn’t matter what time of the day is - you must admit that it’s rather late. True to his word, Todd responds right away. You go back and forth about plot and characters, with each message you find yourself getting more excited for this project.

Todd gives you a call and you answer on the first ring. You can hear him chuckling on the other end. “So, you found some stuff you like, I assume?”

“Yes. Obviously, I really like the science fiction piece.”

“Well, I told you that you wouldn’t fall in love with the first script you read. It seems like you might got discouraged but I’m glad you’ve gotten into them. What others did you like? I’ll reach out regarding your favorite pieces tomorrow and let you know what I hear.”

Todd seemed pleased that you were finally giving him feedback on other projects and you were comforted by just how good of an agent he really was.

You settle into bed to finish the script, thrilled with the possibilities of new and exciting projects ahead.

When you wake up, the sun hasn’t even risen. Just in the edge of sleep, you can just barely reach the fringes of the pleasant dream you were having, and eventually admitting that you probably weren’t going to make it back to sleep, you decide to pull yourself out of bed.

You wander over to your desk, almost tempted to dive back into reading scripts but you know you run a risk of getting sucked in and neglecting other tasks, or worse over analyze and end up back of place of disinterest.

You decide to make use of the hotel’s middle-sized gym, popping on a playlist to occupy your mind.

During filming, you had to learn quite a bit of self defense and kick boxing, and you miss the physical exertion involved in the training. Maybe, if you were to accept a role in the area, you could start looking at the possibility of building a life here. Maybe you could look at renting or even buying a home.

When the next person arrives, they pause only slightly, probably expecting the gym to be empty. You see that the sun has finally come up and decide to call it quits to give the occupant their privacy. You cool down your pace and wipe down the machine before leaving.

You grab some quick items from the breakfast buffet, not wanting to sit down and enjoy a huge meal since you were now covered in sweat.

Once you make it back to your room, you give your father an early morning call - purely to check in and let him know you’re thinking of him. He talks a bit about an expansion that his crew is working on that keeps growing in complexity due to the owner’s requests. You listen to him for a bit knowing he’ll probably have to hang up soon to organize his teams for projects for the day. He barely even says goodbye before reminding you to send your award to him and telling you about the beautiful case he is going to have built to hold it.

You shower and decide to get ready for your outing with Jason today. He told you to dress for comfort, so casual clothes is what he’s getting.

You stop to look at yourself in the mirror. You are going to hang out with Jason Sudeikis today. You are an award winning actor. In your brief time here, you’ve already met so many of your idols… you could quit tomorrow be still be contented with your career. Well, maybe that wasn’t entirely true. But it was still hard for you to grasp sometimes that this was your reality.

Checking the time does nothing but make you antsy. It’s still entirely too early in the morning. You decide to finish the supposed “semblant romance” script that you had started the night before. The science fiction scrolls had gripped you more but you couldn’t deny that you were curious in wanting to know the ending. You were still torn about whether you were rooting for the main couple or not. Mia and James have faults and they sometimes seem to feed into each other’s bad habits.

You decide to move to the window and read by the ledge, a quick check of the time assures you that you still have time to read, taking a peek to see how many pages are remaining, you can’t help but frown. There are only a handful of pages remaining. The story doesn’t seem like it will be concluded in the limited space remaining. The instability of the relationship is starting to amass into a full on break between them, the spiteful word growing more frequent.

You’re reading quickly - verging on speed reading, trying to figure out what happens. Todd always scolds you when you do this. You can hear him in your head telling you to slow down and take in the nuances of the piece.

The characters are fighting in the car on the way home. A split is definitely upcoming, you feel. Mia in a moment of anger, has removed her engagement ring. It was a symbol of hope that you were holding out for them. She throws it directly at James. Flipping the page, you take in the script.

James reacts to Mia throwing the ring at him.

Cut To:

Collision of James and Mia’s car with another vehicle, a drunk driver who missed an overpass. Vehicles are spun into a mangled mess. James and Mia’s car is upside down when the vehicles finally come to a stop.

FADE OUT

Cut to:

JAMES

Coughing, wipes his face to find blood. A dripping above him causes his attention to be drawn to the roof of the car near his head. He reaches up his bloodied hand to pluck the engagement ring off the cloth surface, bringing it to his face the glint of it. Moments pass with a vacant expression on James’ face before recognition dawns. His breathing picks up, recollecting the impact of the vehicles. He begins to struggle due to the prolonged time he has been hanging upside down.

PAN OUT TO INCLUDE:

MIA

Out of focus while the camera still shows James’ progress.

JAMES: Mia? (A silent beat) Honey?

James pauses in his struggle against his seatbelt, trying to quiet his own breathing to listen for a reaction from his fiancée. He hears nothing. The ring drops, forgotten, back onto the roof of the car while James struggles against with seatbelt with more ferocity than before.

JAMES: Mia. Mia!

His voice is hoarse and in the midst of his thrashing around the car, the seatbelt releases him. He drops into a heap onto the roof of the car. Groaning in pain at the feeling of his injured, bloodied body slamming against the beaten vehicle. Sirens are beginning to announce their arrival gradually in the distance. James flails his hands around the crunched up metal in a desperate attempt for the feeling of Mia’s hand. When he collides with her wrist, he is gripping it furiously, desperately searching for a pulse.

He feels the frantic thump beneath his fingertips. He lets out a shaky sigh.

PARAMEDIC:

Sir? Sir, can you hear me?

Blood is beginning to puddle around his mouth, coughing, he lets out a strangled reply.

JAMES

Yes. Please I need you to help my fiancée.

He feels like he can barely get the words out. The blood is rushing around him.

PARAMEDIC:

Sir? Sir - I’m sorry…

He hears something in the distance the loud screech of a police radio. Female. Dead at the scene. He can’t comprehend the words. Everything feels too loud. The sirens, the talking, the damn blood is everywhere. He sees a drop of blood fall from his face to manacled car roof below him, splattering on the ring he had placed on the very hand he was now holding in a death grip. The blood is rushing in his ears and does his best to turn out the noises around him. Closing his eyes, his body goes stiff as his realizes, beneath the blood, the wrist in his hand is cold and the frantic thumping for he has mistaken for his sweet Mia had actually just been his own, thumping through his own skin, reverberating off the lifeless limb of her hand.

"What the fuck?" you mumble to yourself. You simply drop the screenplay on the seating area in front of you. You suck in a breath, trying to control the pressure in your chest and reign yourself back in.

When your phone rings, you barely even acknowledge the caller ID before answering, stuffy 'I've been a crying mess' voice and all. "Y-Yes?"

"Are you okay?" You can hear the concern in Jason's voice and it jolts you. You're still not used to the fact that you can just talk to this man on the phone at any given moment, let alone that he would express concern for you.

You give yourself a little shake, hoping not to embarrass yourself to much with him. You let out a sniffle and try to brush it off with a laugh, "I'm reading a script... I'm alright, I promise." You look at the clock and realize it's nearly time for the two of you to meet. The noise of the wind rustling through the phone indicated to you that he was on his way.

Jason doesn't immediately reply but you can hear his breathing and the ambiance of the city. "I'm almost there. Do you need a key card to use the elevators?" He pauses waiting for your affirmation. "Ok, call down and let them know I'll need access. Take a breath. One block left and I'll be at your lobby doors."

You juggle the hotel phone to notify the reception area of Jason's arrival. Returning to the phone to the hook, you lean back on your bed with a sigh, "Okay. Your set."

The background noise lessens and you can hear Jason's footsteps on your lobby floor through the phone. Someone from reception must have met him at the front door, you can hear someone through the phone explaining how to use the key card in the elevators. "They told me your floor and room number." He teases into the phone. "You seem a little steadier now."

Suddenly realizing that he is in the elevator about to walk into your room, glancing around you see scripts littered all over the desk, the bed in disarray, you reach back up and throw the covers back up onto the bed.

Jason laughs through the phone as you hear what sounds like an elevator ding and echoing down your hall. "I hear rustling. What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to not make you think I'm a complete slob." You stop when you hear Jason's knuckles rap on your door, echoing through the phone into your ear.

You cross the room, still clutching the phone to your ear and open the door to see him end the call and pocket his phone. His smile washes away any lingering sadness, replacing it with a rush of adrenaline that sends waves of heat down your body. He steps to you and leans close, his eyes searching yours for a hint of sadness as his hands lightly touch over your cheeks and down your neck. "Alright now?"

Aside from the overwhelming urge to throw yourself at him, you're good.

You inhale slowly, his scent mixing with the still lingering hint of toothpaste on his breath. You reach up to grasp one of his wandering hands in your own. "I feel a little silly now, to tell you the truth. It just caught me off guard." You release his hand as much as you don't want to and step back to allow him to fully step into your room. With the two of you in it, you can't help but notice the room now seems quite small.

Jason's eyes fall on the script that you failed to pick up. He strides over and scoops it up, holding it out in front of him. "Is this the culprit? Mind if I take a look?"

You step forward, flipping to the offending scene and allow him a moment alone while you step into the bathroom to freshen yourself up. You don't seem to have suffered too much damage, thank god.

You stand in the doorway to find Jason, eyebrows furrowed, biting his lip. When he glances up and sees you, he says, "They're marketing this as a romance? This is a tragedy."

"I know. But.. at any rate, I'm hooked enough to want to audition for the part." You look down taking in your bare feet. "Oh, I'm so sorry! I'm going to make us late." You scurry towards the dresser to finish getting your look together. You turn back just in time to notice the flit of Jason's eyes run back up your body to your face.

He clears his throat, maybe a little embarrassed at being caught. He fiddles with the sunglasses tucked into his hoodie, allowing the fabric to pull down and you can't help but wonder about the skin beneath that hoodie and the chest hair you've seen in many pictures from the internet. He replies, "We won't be late. There's no real time crunch. Hopefully just a pleasant day."

You take in a moment to take in his appearance. The Arthur Bryant Hat, the Kansas City Chiefs hoodie. You need to speak. You need to stop staring at him like a starved animal.

"Um, I hope all the articles aren't causing any issues between you and Brett."

You glance up to find that Jason doesn't appear upset. "I really don't mind at all. Brett and I are fine, I promise."

Giving you one final look over, he asks, "Ready to go?"

You nod and make your way out towards the elevators. You decide to try to pester him for more info. "Any hints on where we're going?"

The only thing he offers up isn't much help at all. "Just something that gives us a little bit of a different pace than our lives tend to offer."

Someone from reception waves you down before you can make it to far from the elevator doors. "Just a heads up - going out the front entrance might be a little complicated." Jason gives an appreciative smile to the front clerk, who motions toward the other side of the building, "Someone will be there to meet you at the opposite door. Hope it helps..." You thank them and make your way towards the side door. Jason holds the door open for you and pauses to thank the employee waiting to guide out to the side street. He falls into step beside you and you steal the occasional glance at his face while the pair of your make your way down the sidewalk.

"Brett says you're planning on staying for a week, I assume from stack of scripts up there, you're deciding what project to take on next." He flashes a quick smile at you before turning his head back to mind the foot traffic.

“I’ve been avoiding making any decisions. Todd isn’t happy that I’ve taken this long. I was tempted to just run right back to theater, to something safe, something familiar..” you look up to see Jason’s face. He is nodding along. “I’m used to be known in my little community but it’s nothing like my experience out here.”

You both pause to cross the street at the crosswalk and Jason takes advantage to sway his body towards yours, briefly connecting his side to yours, burrowing next to you. “I keep hopping back to comedy clubs from time to time myself. I’m sure you’ll be wonderful no matter what path you choose.”

You soak up the contact between the two of you, particularly pleased that he seems to be the one initiating it. “Thank you for the vote of confidence.”

“There’s plenty more where that came from.” He fires back.

It doesn’t take long to cover the distance of a few blocks before Jason catches your arm as you walk past the entrance to one of the numerous public parks in the area. You give him a questioning look, “What?”

Intertwining his arm with yours, Jason leads you into the park. “I just figured it might be nice to walk around, enjoy the area, while the weather is inviting.”

You nod, silently agreeing. It’s been a while since you’ve spent an extended period of time outdoors since finishing filming.

Jason’s attention seems to be drawn towards a building a little in the distance. “What is it?” You ask.

He whips his head back to you, almost seeming a little caught off guard. “Oh - I just.. I did an interview once where they let us rent a row boat and go out into the water and I was just wondering…” he trails off. He squeezes your arm and steers you toward the building.

“It might not be the right time of year. Sometimes there’s only a limited few week period where places rent out canoes.” You reply.

“You wanna check it out?”

How could you say no to him? “Sure.”

You watch the attendant’s reaction to your approach. She does a double take at the sight of Jason. Relatable.

Jason smiles at her, “Hi. Do you rent out row boats here?”

She nods slowly, like she can’t quite believe it. Right there with you, sister.

“Yes. It’s um- ten dollars per hour… I’ll radio down.” She squeaks out a reply, eyes still wide with wonder. He thanks her and pulls some money from his pocket. As you walk down to the waterfront, the attendant seems to find her confidence and yells, “I love you!”

He laughs, flashing a bright smile back at her. “Thank you! I love you back.”

Once you arrive at the water, you tell him, “you just made her day, you know.”

“I’ll have to remember to get a picture with her if she’s still working when we’re finished. That is if you don’t mind?” He looks at your curiously.

“Of course not! I’d be offended if you didn’t. There’s so many people that adore you, it’s nice to know you aren’t a dick.”

Once you’re in the boat, Jason takes control of the oars. You take a moment to drink in his presence, grabbing your phone to snap a few photos of him, operating the boat and deciding which direction to take it.

He gives you a quizzical look, “I’ve got to document this showing off. Imagine, Jason Sudeikis trying to impress a girl with his rowing.”

He laughs and when he speaks his voice is a few octaves lower, “Yes. Determinedly so.”

God, the way this man flusters you.

He stops rowing, resting his arms against the oars and looking directly at you. “There you are. Flustered again. You have to know that only encourages me more.”

You halfheartedly glare at him. “I seem to get flustered whenever I’m near you, Jason. No matter the activity. All you have to do is… that.” You say gesturing towards his body.

He smiles at you joyfully and your breath hitches in your throat.

With a little more rowing from Jason, the boat reaches a small shade provided by a small batch of trees that sit near a tiny island in the center of the body of water. After securing the oars, he stretches his legs out.

You lose all track of time, floating around the water, tearing your way through any topic you can think of. You love his laugh and being able to be the one to elicit it brings you a lovely sense of pride.

The growling of your stomach makes you both realize that you've been out on the water for about 2 hours and some food could do you good.

"Alright, let's feed you." Jason quips, swinging the boat back around to head toward the docks.

Jason helps you out of the boat and you can hear the clicking of cameras. The photographers outside of your hotel seemed to have finally tracked you down. You just hope you don't fall and make a fool of yourself, the thought makes you grip Jason's hand harder. Walking back through the park towards the building where you rented to boats, you see the attendant that helped the two of you is still on her shift and you watch Jason pop over, taking a selfie with her and chatting a bit. There's a few in the growing crowd that recognize you and ask for some pictures, which you're all too happy to oblige. It's still something you're getting used to.

Jason makes his way back over to you, dipping his head towards your ear. "We will get food after this - though we might need to call for some help."

You decide to take matters into your own hands to try to help the situation. Addressing the smaller group of people in front of you, you decide to ask, "Hey - does anybody have any suggestions for where to grab something to eat?"

Jason smiles at you before leaning over to better hear one woman's suggestion.

"That sounds amazing. And you said they have Gelato?" Jason glances towards you and you both silently seem to agree you know where you're headed. A few moments later, park security comes in to clear out the crowd, making sure there's a path for your two of you to make it out safely. Jason's hand finds its way to your back as he guides you along the street to your destination.

[real-life-senshi]

PGSM Five Performers Special Talk Session - Fan Translation

In celebration of Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (Live-Action)'s 🎉 20th anniversary🎉, I present to you the never-been-done-before, full translation of the Senshi talk (3 pages long) from the "Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon Visual Book" (first released on April 30, 2004)!

Some notes & disclaimer:

I'm not a fluent Japanese speaker, but I do know Hiragana, Katakana, basic Japanese grammar and kanji, and a few good tools to use for translation. All's to say, all mistakes are mine. Sorry if there's any!

I'm also not a professional translator. Due to the grammar differences between Japanese and English, some sentences will sound awkward in English for the conversation to make sense.

Hama Chisaki is the old stage name Izumi Rika used when working on PGSM. She changed her stage name to Izumi Rika after changing production company and returning to the entertainment industry after a hiatus where she focused on school.

Please note that everyone's name is written in the order of (Family Name) (First Name) in Japanese style instead of Western style.

You can find scans of the full Visual Book at Miss Dream.org! I own a copy of the Visual Book, so I made some of my own scans for some of the images and was able to double-check the text outside of Miss Dream's scans.

Without further ado...

No matter in transformation as a Sailor Senshi or out of transformation, all 5 girls are incredibly busy in their daily lives.   Although there are not many opportunities for all the members to get together, but just like their development within the drama, the bond between them seems to be deepening day by day.

Here is a guest-talk session with all 5 of them. In fact, this is a "first in history”!

Kitagawa: Among the 5 of us, don’t you seem the most feminine and lady-like? Azama: Is that so?

—For this round of work, the 5 of you are gathered to do this photo shoot for the Visual Book, but you rarely get to all come together in a full group when you're shooting for the drama, right?

Sawai Miyuu (Sawai): That’s true. I think the first time all 5 of us got to shoot together in the drama was the assembly hall scene (Act 18)?

Azama Mew (Azama): And after that, there were a couple more times.

Hama Chisaki (Hama): But for the other times I'm the only one that's not really there. (laughs) Right now I’m Dark Mercury (Editor note: this is how everyone calls Sailor Mercury on site while she’s under the enemy’s control). Because of this, I’m all alone. (laughs)

—From “Crank In” (= Japanese term for starting film shoot) till now, over half a year has passed already.

Sawai: That’s so quick!

Hama: Eh, that means it’ll be farewell soon? (laughs)

Kitagawa Keiko (Kitagawa): But you can also think of it as there’s still another half a year to go.  It’s kind of like a turning point for us.

Hama: I see. From that perspective, it feels like we still have a long way to go. (laughs)

The truth of the 5 girls! Would you want to go back to that day?

—In reality, among the 5 of you which of you is most unlike the character you portray?

Sawai: Isn’t everyone quite similar to their character?

Kitagawa:  Not me.

Hama:  I don't think so either.

Kitagawa: (without hesitation) Yeah, you’re not.

Hama: Hey now. (laughs) But Mako-chan (= Azama Mew) also isn’t, so isn’t everyone quite unlike their character besides Usagi (= Sawai Miyuu)?

Sawai: Wait, what?

Azama: You really are just the way Usagi is.

Sawai: What? …… But one of us is more mature?

Hama & Azama: (in unison) Who?

Sawai: Me! Sawai Miyuu!

Everyone: ……

Sawai: Eh, why? That’s how everyone thinks of me?

Azama: Fashion sense, hairstyle, etc. is different though.

Sawai: Not like that! I meant my personality, my way of thinking, etc. (laughs) …… But, I still think with the 5 of us, we all are like our characters in individual unique ways……

Kitagawa: We look similar.

Komatsu Ayaka (Komatsu): What do you mean by that? (laughs)

Kitagawa: Like our aura, I think we all give off a similar vibe to the original characters.

Komatsu: Ahh, you’re right, we do fit the vibes.

Azama: I don’t think my vibe fits though?

Everyone else: You fit—!

Sawai: Such as the part where you’re both feminine.

Kitagawa: Among the 5 of us, don’t you seem the most feminine and lady-like? 

Azama: Is that so? 

Sawai: Then we’re fine up until the last episode, Minako is alive! Komatsu: Got it. I’ll do my best. I won’t die. (laughs)

Hama:  Seriously though, even for the people who have not seen the show at all, if they see the 5 of us, I think they probably can figure out which character each of us plays (just then, a sound of “pop” came from beside her.) …… Usagi-chan, stop popping your bone. (laughs)

Sawai: Ah, please transcribe the sound you heard just now in a cool* way.

「シャキーン！」(Shakin) was the word Sawai used to describe her request. Which is an onomatopoeia commonly used in manga to describe something done looking cool and eye-catching, like a character's victory pose. What a Usagi-like behaviour... lol

Azama:  That makes no sense. (laughs)

—Now that we’ve gotten to the punchline (laughs), I'd like to ask which of the 5 of you do you think gave a first impression that is the most different from the reality.

Everyone: Chisaki!

Hama:  Me, because I’m shy……

Azama: When we first met, I thought she was not talkative at all. Then before I knew it, she started talking a lot. ....... I don't remember how it happened in between. (laughs)

Kitagawa: But we’ve all changed [since the time of establishing first impressions].

Sawai: That’s true. At first, we wouldn’t even joke with each other.

Hama: Yeah. And before, they wouldn't ignore me or anything like they do now.

Azama: Eh? We would ignore you now?

Hama: I didn’t mean it like that. (laughs) Before, when someone made a [bad] joke, you wouldn't just let it slide, or say something halfheartedly like "yeah, yeah", right? I wish I could go back in time.

Kitagawa: I don’t want to go back.

Komatsu: Yeah, you’d want to move forward. (laughs)

Kitagawa: Yeah, let’s keeping looking forward. Because we’ve all done such hard work to get here already.

Hama: And I don't want to go through that winter again (laughs)……

The Senshi team divided? What would Minako’s fate be?

—As mentioned earlier, it took quite a long time for all 5 of you to get together in the show, hasn't it?

Sawai: I was really happy about it.  It was like, "Finally, all five of us are here!"

Azama: My friends laughed at that assembly hall scene though.

Komatsu: My family too. (laughs)

Hama: Eh? Why?

Azama: Y’know, we paused to pose a few times didn't we? And after all of that, we end up not fighting as a full team after all. (laughs) They said, "Aren’t the 5 of you supposed to fight together?"

Sawai: Speaking of, Venus has a lot of cool-looking arrival scenes.

Kitagawa: Halation*. (laughs)

Halation: (photography/filmography terminology) It means a halo-effect when additional lighting is added.

Komatsu: Come again?

Kitagawa: It's what Director [Sato] Takemitsu said. “This is the scene where the princess appears, so we'll need some halation,” he said.

Sawai: He really did say that quite a few times.  “Halation, more halation”, he’d say.

Kitagawa: He'd say, “It’s an iconic scene. So give me more halation!”  It's strangely still ringing in my ears. (laughs) But by the time this book came out......

—Everyone would’ve found out that Usagi is the real princess, and Venus is the leader (Act. 25~26).

Komatsu: That’s true. (At Kitagawa Keiko) “You’re the substitute”. (laughs)

Azama: And, the rest of us are like the other 2 spares. (laughs)

Hama: The princess, the leader and the sub, and then blue and green, it does feel like that. (laughs)

—No way! (laughs) By the way, do you guys have time to watch the show at all?

Sawai: I watch it. After all, sometimes it’s hard to imagine how I would look on TV. Even with commercial shoots, you never know how it's going to look until the final product is finished .......

Kitagawa:  I’m the opposite. I’m afraid to watch it.  At first, when I watched it on the On Air* date, I felt frustrated and thought, "I could’ve done much better now.” I guess I watch it mostly when I don’t appear much on screen.

On Air: Japanese filmography terminology for the first official footage release of a program, typically means the first episode of a series.

Azama: There was a time when I didn't have enough time to watch it, at its peak I'd miss the show for up to a month's time. So I'd binge-watch all 4 episodes in one go the moment I can instead, and I’m still 2 episodes behind right now. (laughs)

—Excluding your own scenes, what scene has left a memorable impression on you?

Kitagawa:  There are so many that I can’t decide on one.

Hama: It’s practically impossible to say our lines when suffering from pollen allergies. Sawai: It’d be like “In the name of love and justice… achoo!” (laughs)

Azama: For me, the scene where Akumi-chan (Editor’s note: During the time as Dark Mercury, Hama Chisaki’s character Mizuno Ami is referred to as “Akumi”, merging “Aku” (evil) with “Ami”.) was on the merry-go-round was great.

Sawai: That sideway glance was really intense. (laughs)

—Speaking of intense, the confrontation between Rei (=Kitagawa Keiko) and Minako (=Komatsu Ayaka) was also very exciting.

Sawai: And ever since then, I notice those two (Kitagawa & Komatsu) have become very close. (laughs)

Azama: And, those two (Sawai & Hama) are also really close with each other, so I’m left all alone……

Sawai: That’s not true!

Azama: Odd numbers are not good to work with after all. (laughs) From now on, I'll get closer to Luna (Sailor Luna = Koike Rina) instead. (laughs)

Hama: Lately, most of my time is spent in the company of the Shitennou. (laughs) I feel like it's been a long time since I’ve met everyone like this.

Sawai: I've also been spending a lot of time with Mamo-chan (Chiba Mamoru = Shibue Jouji) lately. And most of the scenes are done with gloomy expressions. (laughs)

Komatsu: Minako’s also suffering from time to time...I wonder what will happen?

Sawai: She did say there’s only six months left.

Hama: Let’s make a decision now?

Komatsu: About my illness? (laughs)

Hama: Wouldn't that make it easier [to act]?

Sawai: In talking with the collective staff-san, the story is supposed to be that Sailor Moon protects Minako from dying using the Silver Crystal......

Azama: Eh? Mamoru* dies from the Silver Crystal?

“To protect”( 守る) is pronounced “mamo-ru” in Japanese. Azama mistook Sawai's choice of saying “protect” with “Chiba Mamoru” the character.

Sawai: That’s not it! (laughs) To use the Silver Crystals to "protect" Minako.

Kitagawa: I guess that'll be in the last episode……

Sawai: Then we’re fine up until the last episode, Minako is alive!

Komatsu: Got it. I’ll do my best. I won’t die. (laughs) But before the last episode, I might die a bit.

Azama: Die a bit?

Komatsu: No, I meant to say, “I might die a bit before”. (laughs) (At Sawai Miyuu), Well, I’ll be counting on you then. (everyone laughs)

Sawai: But six months is quite a long time, isn't it?

Komatsu: …… So you want me to die sooner? Even though I just bowed at you. (laughs)

The Sailor Senshi’s message to their fans

—Since Crank In in the summer, winter had come and gone, and now spring has arrived……

Sawai: Crank-in was so hot! And I was running all the time.

Hama: At first it was just the two of us, me and Usagi. And Naru-chan (Kawabe Chieco) too.

Kitagawa: And I joined in September.

Sawai: It would have been rough to wear a shrine maiden costume in August.

Kitagawa: No, because there’s the fireplace, it actually always feels like midsummer for me.

Sawai: Oh I see. But even though I’m really glad winter’s over, now there’s pollen allergy to deal with in spring. (laughs)

Hama: It’s practically impossible to say our lines when suffering from pollen allergies.

Sawai: It’d be like “In the name of love and justice… achoo!” (laughs).

—To wrap us up, would you please give a message to your fans?

Hama: This kind of thing is so hard to do. (laugh)

Azama: Let’s go in the order of the day of the week*.

Japanese days are named according to the elements. From Monday – Sunday: moon, fire, water, wood, gold/metal, earth, and sun. This means Mercury's and Mars's order is flipped when compared to the Senshi lineup.

Sawai: The order of the day of the week. (laughs) So I’m first? …… Hm~mm, it has already been six months since the program started and the 5 of us have come together, please support us until the very end. We will also do our very best!

Kitagawa: For purchasing this book, thank you very much.  It's very much appreciated.

Hama: You can see the 5 of us outside of our usual roles in this book. And you can also see how we spent our New Year's (laugh), so please enjoy this book!

Azama: When thinking about how things will unfold moving forward, I think everyone will be looking forward to how things turn out, so let’s all be excited and watch each episode together! (laughs)

Komatsu: They said everything already. (laughs) I don't know what to do……

—It's the closing of this segment, so please end it with style.

Komatsu: …… Only six more months left.* (everyone laughs)

OMG, she legit just quoted her own line, THAT line from Act 18. lol

—Thank you very much. (laughs)

[insilverhalide]

Color pictures will be rare on this blog, but as an introductory post, this is my baby, Lana. My mom bought her in 1983 (we think) and she lived her first life as a photojournalist before being passed on to me.

While I was in school for filmmaking I didn't have much time for stills photography, but after graduating my digital camera became work-only, and analog is my dedicated hobby. My first self-funded adult vacation was to the Vermont wilderness in 2020 (see above) where I fell in love with waterfall photography, and I imagine that's what most of the pictures I post to this blog will be.

It is a dream of mine to have my own darkroom setup at home someday, but while I'm stuck without access to a darkroom, I send my film to The Darkroom in San Clemente, CA for development, printing, and scanning. They deserve a shoutout for the incredible work they do.

For glass Lana has a Sigma 28mm f/2.8, a Pentax 50mm f/1.4, and a bizarrely unbranded 85-210mm f/4.5. I mostly shoot on Ilford HP5+ but I'll make note of what films I used on the posts.

[k00280973]

Photography Workshop Pinhole Analogue Camera Pt 1 (Monday)

I decide to start with photography as my first elective as I felt the photos I take may be useful as reference or inspiration for print and painting electives further into the semester. I also wanted to start the second semester with a comfortable and familiar process as I had explored the Camera obscura process at the beginning and end of the first semester.

The first photography based workshop I signed up for was the pinhole analogue camera. We started by making our own cameras out of film canisters..

This process was very quick and simple, we were given an in depth tutorial of how to load the cameras in the dark room with the appropriate paper and process of development after shooting. The exposure timing was difficult to get around at the beginning as this effects the quality of the photo development. However, I was pleasantly surprised to see that my photos although mostly white and appear to be blank can change immensely once scanned with the Epson scanner and inverted on photoshop.

Photos after developing Photos after being scanned in the dark room.. and inverted...

My goal was to capture the reflection on the surface of the puddle. I think the best results are the first three images as you can see the buildings reflection and the silhouette of the person. After attempting the water reflection, I decided to take a a few shots of the canteens windows. I wanted to see if the image would be clear enough to see the reflection in the glass and to really emphasis the distortion. I particularly liked the canisters circular shape which meant that the paper would have to be bent inside giving a curved/distorted effect.

Since I'm interested in the distorted effect, I made a note to research Ilan Wolff. He specialised in creating photographs using the camera obscura technique with cameras made from old boxes or cans. He has also experimented with multiple lens pin hole technique using round-cylinder cameras to emphasis distortion.

[lokiskitten]

could you please do one where the reader seduces him at a public place / dinner , and leaves him really frustrated and turned on , and he can't even react , but the reader gets it back once they get home

Tom Hiddleston | public teasing

Tom Hiddleston x fem!reader

plot : for your first year anniversary, Tom decided to take you out on a romantic date. However, you find a way to distract your mind from the presence of the paparazzis by physically teasing your boyfriend. Once the two of you get home, the man is finally able to teach you a lesson.

warnings : verbal teasing, public teasing, smut, dirty talking, light bondage, spanking, unprotected sex.

Today marked the one year anniversary of both you and your lovely boyfriend Tom. You absolutely adored him, especially as he constantly filled you with happiness no matter his busy schedule. Through filming and attending set, Tom always made sure to shoot you a few texts in order to reassure your anxiety and to make sure that you knew how much he loved you. His fame tended to disturb you at first, but time had allowed you to get used to the intrusive media and paparazzis. Besides, Tom always made sure to keep you out of the spotlights as much as he could.

But tonight, another priority turned out to be more important than avoiding the press. Your boyfriend had decided to take you out for dinner to a fancy restaurant, making sure that everything would be perfect for you to enjoy. You felt excited indeed, but anxiety still bubbled in your stomach due to the constant fear of being photographed against your will.

Sitting down at the fancy table, your elbows rested against the edge of the table whilst your palms anxiously rubbed against one another. Your orbs scanned the candle which stood between you and your boyfriend, this romantic detail truly dipping you into the mood for some extra wine. Tom was going on with his meal, cutting his steak with the help of his fork and knife whilst you found yourself lost in your thoughts. Quickly enough, the grown man noticed how dizzy you looked and couldn’t help but put his stencils down.

“Hey, sweetheart?” He asked before passing his napkin against his lips. Your eyes diverted up towards him, eyebrow raising slightly whilst your hand reached out for your glass of wine. “What would you think about going to the park tomorrow? I heard there’s gonna be lovely weather.” Tom stated, sincerely doubting that this stupid statement would change anything to your anxious mindset. His large hand reached out for yours, thumb rubbing against the back of your hand in order to bring warmth to ease your physical distress.

You simply shrugged though allowed Tom’s hand to take yours, finding comfort in his touch. “I’m sorry.. this was supposed to be a lovely night. I just feel anxious.” You explained, putting your glass down before pulling your hand away in order to grab your own stencils. You finally began to eat, enjoying how nice this food tasted which wasn’t surprising seeing how fancy and elegant this place was. “I understand. But hey, it’s just us right now.” Tom affirmed confidently before going back to eating his meal just like you were doing.

Upon hearing this sentence, your eyes looked up at his focused facial features as mischievous thoughts built up in your mind. At least, it helped you think about something else than the potential presence of the paparazzis. “Just us?..” you asked on an innocent tone whilst your foot gently started to brush against his clothed ankle. Feeling the unexpected sensation against his leg, Tom looked up at you with rather confused eyes. Though this didn’t stop you, in contrary, it only enhanced your inner mischief.

Progressively, your foot moved up to his inner thigh before starting to press against his crotch, gently massaging his prominent bulge as if the two of you were sitting in your living room. Tom immediately reached underneath the table, taking ahold of your ankle in order to put to an end your teasing mannerisms. He looked to his left and then to his right, a happy grin now appearing onto your face upon seeing the distress of your boyfriend. Tom then settled his eyes on you as his large hand squeezed your ankle as a way of begging you to stop this evil action.

“What are you doing?” He whispered whilst leaning in gently, serious eyes staring into your soul. You giggled, biting down onto your tongue in order to stop yourself from laughing too loudly and avoid to attract attention on the two of you. Tom noticed that you were in a playful mood, a smirk now appearing onto his face as he decided to give in your little game and allow you to believe that you had won. Noticing this detail you agreed to pull your foot away, delicately resting it back onto the floor before taking a sip of your beverage.

[ ... ]

About a hour later, the two of you had now arrived back home, a yawn escaping your open mouth as you allowed your keys to fall down into the pot which was in the entrance of the apartment. “Jesus.. I feel absolutely exhausted. I’m so full.” You affirmed tiredly before stretching your arms whilst Tom hung his jacket onto the coat hanger. However, before you could even reach for the living room, you found yourself being suddenly pushed against the wall by none but your beloved boyfriend.

A giggle escaped your lips as your brain understood what this was all about, Tom’s stern look being enough to make you understand that he was now getting revenge for what you had previously done back at the restaurant. Guttural groans echoed behind his closed lips, blue eyes scanning your body as his head titled hungrily. You continued to playfully giggle, arms attempting to move up to his shoulders though without ever succeeding due to his own arms being in the way. This was a game the two of you had progressively developed throughout your relationship, a personal kink you both enjoyed to involve during intercourses.

“You deserve proper punishment.” Tom affirmed as his blue eyes finally looked up at yours, his facial features remaining strict. You knew that your part of the job was to refrain from putting up an attitude nor laughing, yet you couldn’t help but smile due to your playful mood which was progressively taking over your body and senses. Taking ahold of your arm, the man dragged you all the way up to the bedroom in a hurry, closing the door behind the two of you for extra privacy even though no one else stood in this shared apparement of yours. When Tom set you free, you stepped back towards the bed as you watched your boyfriend tear open his fancy shirt.

The buttons fell onto the floor, though Tom didn’t truly care as he knew that he had a bunch of other shirts waiting for him in his closet. You bit down onto your bottom lip, head tilting in a teasing manner as you waited for the grown man to finally give you the punishment you deserved. Approaching your silhouette, his hands pushed you down onto the bed before he took the initiative to remove his belt. Not once did you flinch, being fully aware that your boyfriend would never do anything to hurt you and that not even unintentionally. Tom took ahold of your ankles and dragged you close to his body and immediate reach, using the leather product in order to lock your hands together for good.

With you being at his mercy, a mischievous smirk now appeared onto Tom’s face as he looked down at you. “Look at you now...” he began, head tilting in awe. “Not so fierce anymore, huh? Do you still feel like teasing me?” The man questioned, earning nothing from you but a simple smile. He squinted his eyes, brain thinking about all the things he wanted to do to you. Meanwhile, his veiny hand brushed against your elevated knee, sending chills down your spine. Both of his hands suddenly reached down for your shirt, tearing it apart with the help of his natural strength he had previously used to reap open his own upper piece of clothing.

You yelped, chest now exposed to him as warmth started to build up in your needy crotch. You wanted him; you absolutely needed him. “My sweet girl.” He affirmed before flipping you around onto your stomach. Your bum was now exposed to him, his hand reaching down for your hips which he gripped in order to pull your ass upwards. This position felt uncomfortable, but you remained patient as you knew how good it would turn out to feel once your boyfriend would finally be rocking his hips against yours. “I’ll teach you what it costs to tease me in public.” Tom promised as his hand caressed and made its way up your back.

“Do the loki voice-!” You began only to be brutally interrupted by the sensation of Tom’s hand squeezing the back of your head. “No talking.” He ordered, the familiar mischievous tone answering your demand which caused a smirk to appear on your face. This specific tone was something thousands of girls dreamt to be submitted to, yet only you was able to enjoy it live and stereo. Besides, Tom secretly enjoyed it too. You giggled, allowing your boyfriend to carry on with his own plans which you would gladly accept to submit to.

Finally, Tom took the initiative to pull your pants and underwear down to your mid thighs, exposing your wet cunt to his sight and the lustful air which filled the room. You moaned, betraying the fact that you were indeed enjoying this little session of pure revenge. Again, Tom chuckled darkly. His fingers moved down to your moist entrance, gently rubbing up and down your slit in order to properly spray the wetness around before starting to focus onto your clit. He teased it for a couple of seconds, rubbing circles against the hard bud which was meant to hide underneath its protective hood.

You moaned, head tilting back slightly before Tom decided to pull his fingers away from your core. Pouting sadly face to this disappointment, your head turned to the side in a desperate attempt to see what the man was now doing. Unfortunately, this gesture didn’t turn out to be any successful. He was now working on removing his own pants, allowing the piece of clothing to fall down to his ankles as his hardening cock was set free. His tip brushed against your wet slit, his warmth mixing with yours as pants started to escape his parted lips.

“Tommy..” you whimpered submissively, earning a harsh spank against your naked bum for stepping past his main rule. He shushed you, his thumb and index finger taking a gentle hold of his shaft in order to properly guide it into your wetness. Spreading your swollen lips with the help of his other hand, Tom managed to ease himself inside of you rather easily, the sensation of his hardness sliding inside of your core causing you the moan out of relief. You probably wouldn’t have been able to handle waiting any longer.

“Ahh-.. such a dirty girl.” He praised, hands now moving away from both of your respective genitals in order to take a firm hold of your hips. Tom was soon to reach balls deep, brushing past most of your sensitive spots and causing your legs to tremble gently. He felt indulgent enough to offer you a couple of seconds to adjust to his size- even though you’ve felt it plenty of times by now, which he was aware of. The thrusting process was soon to occur, gaining in confidence and harshness as seconds passed by.

Tom winced and moaned lustfully, still holding onto your hips as if his life depended on it. You added up to the melody by allowing your own moans to escape your lips, enjoying the way his tip repetitively rubbed against your g-spot and hit your cervix. Your joint hands gripped onto the bedsheets, eyelids shutting close so that your brain would be fully able to enjoy what was going on and building up in your lower abdomen. “Fuck- your going to make me cum sooner than...” Tom stated through his winces, abs contracted as he continued to thrust in and out of you.

Before the two of you could know it, Tom’s shaft throbbed and clenched, semen spraying out of his urethra and landing against your pulsating cervix. You moaned in awe, Tom towering over your body as his hands now fell beside your head. His digits clenched against the bedsheets, guttural moans escaping his shaky lips as he didn’t refrain from ejaculating all of his sperm inside of your stretched wetness. Your bum moved up against his hips, enhancing the intense contact whilst your boyfriend took time to properly wash his orgasm away.

Once he was finally done coming inside of you, the older man pulled out and allowed his tired body to fall down onto the bed besides your recovering self. The two of you panted, your body relaxing against the bed sheets as it was now your mind’s turn to recover from this intense intercourse.

I hope you guys enjoyed this! Feel free to leave a request. ❤️

[bestofbucky]

The Signal (1/2)

Pairings: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 2.9k

Warnings: Angst, death, blood, canon level violence, swearing.

Summary:  You go on a mission with Bucky.

A/N: Part 2 will hopefully be up sometime soon.

“You ready doll?” Bucky asked as you were nearing your drop off point. 

You nod back, not trusting your voice. No matter how many times you have had to parachute from a quinjet it will never get easier. Of course, Bucky can tell how nervous you are by the way you avoid eye contact and start tugging at the straps of your harness. He pulls your hands away replacing them with his own as he safety checks your parachute.

You know that you have done it all correctly but having him double check it is the reassurance you need. You watch him, his slightly furrowed brow and tongue poking out giving away how concentrated he is. 

He finishes his final check and looks up at you, “What are you smiling about?” He can’t stop his own grin from spreading across his face. Bucky didn’t just smile with his mouth, he smiled through the crinkles in the outer corners of his eyes, he smiled through the scrunch of his nose and he smiled through the relaxation of his whole body.

“You.” The contentment you feel, that comes from simply being near Bucky, is obvious in your body language and voice. His eyes glimmer as he leans forward pressing a gentle kiss to your lips.

Bucky had joined the team about two years ago. For one of his first missions you were paired up, you worked so seamlessly together that it would be silly not to put you with each other for more missions. This resulted in the two of you becoming close friends, he trusted and confided in you and you felt the same. 

It would be normal for the two of you to be holed up together after a tough mission, looking after the other but not wanting any social interaction with anyone else. You were both extremely similar like that, tending to fall inwards but you both became experts at drawing the other one out.

It was a natural transition from friendship to romantic relationship. You had just come back from mission and you were cuddled up in Bucky’s bed watching a film. Bucky had turned to you out of the blue and asked if you wanted to go on a date with him to which you immediately agreed. The feelings were already there from the bond you had formed, it was just the physical side that was needed.

This wasn’t a difficult thing to develop for either of you. Bucky had never met someone who completely overwhelmed his thoughts and feelings as much as you did. You were always on his mind whether it was a comment Sam made that he knew you would be on the floor laughing at or a mental picture of you sleeping, the morning light making your skin glow softly. He thought you always looked like an angel but especially in those moments.

You had never met anyone who's laughter was so infectious, it had become addicting to be the one to pull those noises from him, to lose yourself in his lopsided grins and crinkled eyes. He drew you in like a butterfly to nectar. You couldn’t get enough of him. His voice, his hands, his kisses.

This mission, on paper, was a simple one. Apart from jumping out of a quinjet and landing onto a moving train, all you and Bucky had to do was stop an illegal trade. That’s it. The mission file didn’t cover who the parties involved in the deal were. From your experience, being trained at the Academy and moving up the ranks of SHIELD before finally becoming an Avenger, you know that illegal trades are normally between civilians who are in over their heads in some kind of criminal group. However, not long into the mission you realised it wasn’t simple at all.

It turns out that one of the ‘unknown parties’ is Hydra, never a good sign. The weapons they are dealing are enhanced with alien technology and they somehow knew that you and Bucky were coming. The only reason the mission didn’t get pulled is because the rest of the team was on standby, ready to step in at any moment.

In fact, the job got so complicated, so quickly, that you and Bucky found yourselves at the back of the train, severely outnumbered and being pushed closer and closer to the edge of the train where the back wall had been blown to pieces by the very weapons involved in the trade.

It was loud, the sounds of fighting were drowned out by the noises of the wheels on the tracks. The train was moving fast and the wind was whirling around the carriage meaning just one misstep could send you flying off the train and landing on the tracks below.

There was a moment when you thought you were a goner, but Bucky managed to haul you back into the carriage, putting himself between you and the edge of the train. A move that warmed your heart, knowing his history with trains was not a good one.

“I fucking hate trains.” You remember him saying when you had first got the mission brief. “Nothing good ever happens on trains.” You had laughed back then, but there was nothing funny about the situation you were in now.

The next ten seconds seemed to happen so quickly. One of the attackers yelled something in what you assumed to be German, he was holding the weapon you recognised to be the same as the one that blew out the back wall of the carriage. Next thing you knew Bucky had wrapped his arm around you and was launching you both off the train. 

Time slowed and you seemed to float mid-air as you watched the carriage go up in flames, shrapnel flying everywhere, the heat burning your eyes and forcing them closed. Then came the impact of the fall, quite luckily Bucky had managed to aim for the snow on the sides of the train tracks and not in the train tracks themselves.

Bucky immediately sits up and sends the signal for extraction, he then starts checking himself for injuries. You are lying on your side facing him, half your body concealed by the snow, the other half just poking out. His eyes travel to you as he looks over your body.

“Are you hurt anywhere?” The concern was clear in his voice.

“No, I think I’m ok.” You try to move yourself but wince slightly. “I think I landed funny though because my side hurts.” You manoeuvre yourself onto your back. As soon as you get your right side out of the snow a gasp causes you to snap your head towards Bucky who is just staring in shock at your stomach.

His eyes are wide, eyebrows slanted upwards and mouth open slightly. You know whatever it is can’t be good. Gathering up the courage to look down at your stomach, you lift up onto your forearms. Finally looking down, the sight causes bile to rise and you have to stop yourself from gagging. A piece of shrapnel about the size of an A5 piece of paper is sticking out of your side. There is so much blood around it that it is hard to tell what it is and how deep it has gone.

It’s as if looking at it made it real because the pain suddenly hits you. Out of instinct your hand flies towards the wound to try and hold it or soothe it but Bucky quickly catches your hand stopping you. It’s like a flip switched in his mind. He suddenly starts stripping off his clothing. He takes his shirt and undershirt off before putting the rest of his gear back on. He moves behind you, placing his legs either side of you and lifting your upper body carefully, so you are now leaning on him. He manages to wrap your wound, careful to go around the shrapnel to try to stop the bleeding, but not push it in anymore. He continues to do the same with as much of his clothing as he can afford to lose in the snow. He takes your left hand and puts it over the clothing, then places his hand on top, telling you to press down as hard as you can, as he does the same.

You start to feel lightheaded, the pain in your side only getting stronger.

“Stay with me doll, backup is on its way. They’ll find us.” Bucky is practically begging and you try your hardest to keep your eyes open.

“You were right.” You say after a while and Bucky gives you a puzzled look. “Nothing good ever happens on trains.” You chuckle at your own joke but quickly stop when it causes shooting pains to fly through your body.

Bucky lets out a sharp breath from his nose. “When you get through this you will be able to join my ‘I survived a fall from a train’ club.” He jokes smiling down at you.

“I can’t imagine there are very many members of that club.” You smile back at him and he laughs, you can tell he is trying to distract you but you let him anyway.

“No, at the moment it’s just me. The events the club holds are very fun though!” His eyes light up as he continues to look down at you. “We’ve had freight night, that was watching scary movies that have a train in at some point. There’s train reaction, which is like the telephone game, that one was quite difficult with one person.” He laughs at himself which makes you giggle, trying not to contract your stomach. It doesn’t work and the shooting pains are back. The smile is still clear on your face and Bucky reaches his free hand up to push a bit of hair behind your ear.

“Bucky.” You whisper to get his attention, the words you want to speak are clear in the look of longing in your eyes. 

“No, baby please I don’t want to hear you say whatever you are going to say. You fight through this and you can tell me whatever it is when you’re better.” A frown is clear on his face.

“But I-“

“Please doll. You want to tell me whatever it is so badly, then use it as a reason to fight this. To come out the other side.” You scan his face and from the crease lines in his brow and the desperation in his eyes you can tell he already knows what you want to say.

You both fall into a comfortable silence. You realise being in Bucky’s arms is probably your favourite place to be. Feeling his chest steadily rise and fall, your head gently moving with it. You feel so protected, cherished, peaceful.

That is until Bucky looks down at your stomach to see that all the clothing he tried to use to wrap the wound has been completely soaked in your blood, he visibly winces. You move your head slightly to try and get a look but Bucky uses his free hand to tilt your chin up so you are looking at him instead. He holds the eye contact as he takes his jacket off and drapes it over you, covering your wound from your sight and warming you up as much as he can.

As secretively as he could, he sent the signal out to the team. The signal only used in extreme emergencies. Three long holds. The signal to say an agent doesn’t have long left to live.

The sharp sting of the cold has faded into exhaustion as the pain retreats from your body leaving behind a numbness you have never experienced before.

“I always thought I’d be alone.” You say pensively, “I never thought about death too much. I just always assumed I’d be alone when it happened.” You were slurring your words. If you were more aware of your surroundings you would have felt Bucky tense up at your words. Looking up into his blue eyes you wondered if death would be as serene as them.

“You’re not alone. I’m here.” Bucky’s once motivational words, convincing you to hold on, shift to words intended to comfort you, to draw out the fear of your final moments and replace them with solace. You had closed your eyes, his reassuring whispers gradually fading away as he cradled you close to his chest. You wanted to be able to hear his heartbeat but all you could hear was the erratic beating of your own heart pounding in your head. 

In the far distance you felt commotion around you so you used what was left of your energy to open your eyes one final time. The sight you were greeted with sent a wave of emotion through you. Your team members, your friends, they were all gathered around you, kneeling or standing in the snow.

“My family is here.” You smile to yourself as you let the tiredness overtake you. The last thing you feel is an ice cold tear rolling down your cheek. An overwhelming sense of calm consumes your body and your worries and fears simply fade to nothingness. 

Bucky knew even before the Avengers turned up that your chances of surviving this were slim. You were bleeding out fast and it was showing no sign of slowing. It killed Bucky to know that all he could do was make you as comfortable and reassure you as much as possible in your final moments of life.

When the team got Bucky’s first signal, the plan was for just Tony to go down and retrieve you both. Then the second signal came in. They all silently agreed they would land the quinjet and all go together, maybe to say goodbye if they had enough time. If not, just to be with you when you take your last breath. They all knew that there was nothing any of them could do.

What none of them could have predicted was Helen Cho and a SHIELD team transporting the cradle from one base to another. The flight path directly over your current location. Their quinjet picked up Bucky’s radio signal and they made the choice to land to see if they could help.

Upon arrival Helen rushed straight to you, checking for signs of life, she must have felt something because she ordered for you to be put in the cradle as quickly as possible.

Bucky was frozen, no he wasn’t cold, he was a super soldier, the cold barely affected him. He was simply in a state of daze, unable to move himself to get you into the cradle. Steve could see this and swiftly took you into his arms carrying you onto the other quinjet and placing you down in the cradle. As soon as you were secure Helen was directing a team of people to all do different things. Steve stepped out of the jet, not wanting to get in the way.

No one spoke, they all had their hopes that you would be ok, but no one was particularly optimistic. 

“We’ll take her to my lab, she’s not in a good condition and this jet can only sustain the cradle for so long, we can take one or two of you in this jet with us, but feel free to follow in yours.” Helen had stepped out and as soon as she finished her sentence it was like a flip switched inside everyone.

The team made their way back onto the quinjet but Bucky hadn’t moved, he was bathed in your blood, a ring of red surrounding him a stark contrast to the blinding white of the snow. Bucky gratefully accepted Steve’s hand helping him onto his shaky legs. He looked down at where he had just been. The red crater left in the snow told the story of what had happened but Bucky still couldn’t quite believe it.

Steve’s hand on Bucky’s shoulder guided him to the quinjet you were in. He sat there staring ahead unable to do anything more, Steve stayed close by his side but knew not to push anything.

“She wanted to tell me something.” Bucky suddenly breaks the silence but his gaze stays fixed ahead. “She wanted to tell me something and I couldn’t let her finish because I wanted to stay strong for her.” Steve stays silent knowing he wasn’t finished. “I didn’t let her say anything because I knew I would have broken down in front of her.” He continues as tears start to fall from his eyes. He feels everything, guilt, regret, pain, loss, hope but at the same time feels nothing at all. His body numb and still in shock.

“What if it was her dying wish to say whatever it was and I took that away from her.” A crack in Bucky’s voice causes Steve’s heart to contract. He pulls his friend into a hug, Bucky gladly accepting the comfort.

“We both know what she was going to say Buck,” Steve takes a deep breath to try to stop himself from crying, “and we know how she is. If she thought for one second you didn’t know what she was going to say, then she wouldn’t have let you stop her from saying it.” 

Of course Bucky knew what you were going to say because he felt it too. He knew, because to kill you both only one of you actually had to die.

Taglist: @vampirewithbedsidemanners @townwitchbitch @velvetcardiganbucky

[bakubros-boo-thang]

Thirty seconds: Cameras & Caramel

Bakugou x ‘model’ reader

Warnings: cursing, sfw, mentioning of body type

Quirk: Stopping time ( limited time and limited amount of people)

Summary: When your roommate kinda pushes fate at your doorstep you end up in bed with Bakugou. That wouldn’t be so bad, except for the pervy director, the spotlights and the fact that you are definitely not used to model. Atleast you can make sure you get your 30 seconds of peace....

Art by : Chocalicia

Bakugou hated these types of things. He knew that being a hero on the rise meant that he had to grow his fanbase. He HAD to be known. He had to show up at random places, on billboards, in magazines and on tv. Not just for the live broadcastings if his fights, but also in random commercials.

He hated those commercials most. With magazines it was just a picture, a second of pretending. With commercials you had to pretend for longer. Professional models were at least professional about it, but those aspiring ones were trying so hard to get more out of the shoot than just a paycheck. They probably went into the shoot just for him. It would be a lie if he never ended up next to a stranger because of that. He had a busy schedule and sometimes he was touch starved. Those moments were the only moments his “work” and private life were combined. The rare private life he had.

You on the other hand had no idea what you were up to. You never wanted to be a model, so you weren’t. You just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. When searching for a “plus-sized” model in the middle of Tokyo you -a foreigner- stood out and when asked for a one time job, you had politely declined until your roommate had said: “You are here for that once in a lifetime moment, get out of your comfort zone, fuck the insecurities and experience that moment”. So here you were. Wearing a sleeveless top and black sleeping shorts. Laying in a fake bed, on a fake set, bright spotlight hurting you eyes and with a blanket only covering your ass and barely covering your boobs (which looked nude bc of the illusion). Since your friend pushed you to do this, she was the one who did all the talking. You just knew that you were supposed to lay like this, act shocked by your male counterpart and needed to smell his perfume. Something about “Comforting and sexy.” It was a stupid catchphrase. You had been living in Japan for a couple months, studying quirks.... you had only chosen that major, because of your own struggle with your quirk and had no real goal with the study, but the chance to finish up the course in Japan was something you couldn’t pass up. Since Japan was the country with the most development of quirks, it was the perfect choice. You worked a part-time job as a barista on the side and you couldn’t complain. But when you saw him you definitely wanted to complain. The first thing you noticed was the spiky blond hair, then his red piercing eyes and since you didn’t want him to catch you staring at his abs, you decided to use your quirks. The room was filled with eight people including the two of you so it wasn’t that difficult to do. And so you just paused everyone. You knew that you could only keep it up for thirty seconds at most, but in those seconds you could take a good look at him. At the bored expression he had, the way he was only wearing low hanging jeans and those rock-hard abs. You had barely fifteen seconds left to just readjust yourself one last time, trying to ignore your insecurities and give yourself the ultimate poker face, you laid in the position. Time went back on an nobody seemed to have noticed the missing seconds. Bakugou definitely looked slightly confused, which didn’t stop him from walking towards you and yelling to no one in particular: “Let’s get this shit over with, I have things to do.” He didn’t even acknowledge you. “Okay let’s get this thing right in the first take. Bakugou you just came home from a long patrol, you walk over to your s/o who is all curled up in bed and you give her a kiss on her cheek, she wakes up smelling your neck and realizes that you still smell like our cologne. She pulls you towards her and then it’s CUT, since we need to keep this safe for work right? We will film the solo clips of you after this scene. Ready? ACTION.”

Bakugou walked towards you. His face looked kind, maybe even loving in some cocky way though. Confidence was more the right word. You quickly close your eyes knowing you have to be ‘asleep’. 20 seconds later your eyes still haven't opened up, Bakugou was supposed to kiss you awake right? “DUMBASS WHY AREN’T YOU DOING YOUR DAMN JOB.” You couldn’t even respond, he scared you with the way he talked, of course you had heard of him. The hero with the terrible temper, but still experiencing it first-hand kinda sucked. “I... I... I didn’t....” The director cut you off. “CUT, let’s try it again.” Bakugou had already gone back to reshoot the scene. “ACTION.” He walked towards you again. This time you knew the camera would only focus on your face when he ‘kissed’ your cheeks, which he wasn’t planning on actually doing. You didn’t know whether it was him being respectful or him hating you, but it really annoyed you so you decided to give him a little payback. As he faked kissing your cheek you decided to use your quirk and pause only him. You didn’t touch his lips. You did however smell him. He didn’t smell like that disgusting cologne. He smelled like sweat and something burning. A light caramel smell. It was intoxicating. You had forgotten that you had only paused him, so the rest of the crew saw Bakugou standing over you with pouted lips not moving at all. When you realized that you were still pausing him, you quickly released the quirk and here he was all flustered, confused and definitely annoyed at himself for losing his cool. You felt a little guilty, but on the other side this was his payback. No one said anything about the rising hero’s pouted lips though, not wanting to trigger the hero’s anger. “Let’s just try it once more. Action.” Before Bakugou walked back to his starting point he whispered “ err... sorry for acting so creepy. I... I don’t know what’s gotten into me.” Now you DID feel horrible. You had to make sure this take worked out.

He walked over to you and actually kissed your cheek. You let go of all your insecurities, ‘Opened’ your eyes and you smiled at him with a smile full of love (mostly due to the fact that you were still intoxicated by his smell and of course his good looks, and maybe that apology did kinda make him seem... likeable), you once again smelled his neck which was far from punishment and the rest was just natural to you. Pushing your hands over to his neck and pulling him in felt amazing. Seeing him lay next to you felt even better and even he couldn’t help but to give you a tiny smile. Probably because you were radiating so much happiness. (Which was definitely not because you were such a good actor). “CUT. This was perfect, there is just one little thing I want to add, but give me two minutes before I explain. You can stay in your positions.” Bakugou looked at you. Just now noticing the way you looked naked. “Are you comfortable like that?” He asked. “Err... not really, but probably because this is my first time doing this.” He clicked his tongue “Tsk you’re not a model?” You shrugged “Nope just a regular barista who’s roommate forced her to end up in this weird commercial for err... cologne right?” Bakugou chuckled, “Yeah goddamn awful cologne.” You couldn’t help but agree. “They made me smell a tester, you definitely didn’t smell like that, fortunately.” He raised his eyebrow “How did I smell then, extra?” But his “extra” didn’t sound as threatening as it usually sounded in the fight videos on his Youtube page. It sounded more like a dare, but before you got the chance to explain the director already started explaining his new idea. “ I know we are not supposed to do anything not safe for work, but sex still sells, so we will just plant a seed.” He couldn’t help but give you a pervy look that made you feel sick to your stomach. “Only thing you two should do is end up under the covers, that's it. Action!” He continued.

“WHAT THE HELL, DO YOU EXPECT ME TO GO UNDER THE BLANKET WITH HER?!” Bakugou screamed. It wasn’t supposed to hurt. You barely knew him, but still hearing him get so angry for having to look at you and sharing that small space with him, definitely did hurt.

“Bakugou, why are you being difficult?” The director sighed. “ Look how you made her look, this girl has never been on a set and you already made her lay nude under a blanket, expecting me to go under that blanket. I’m not a FUCKING PERVERT GODDAMIT!” He was looking so angry, but you had to tell him. You slightly tapped his shoulder. “WHAT?!” He screamed. “Err... Bakugou...” You lifted up the blanket. “I’m not naked.” You couldn’t help but notice the quick scan he gave your body. You couldn’t blame him, especially since you had done the same. “Oh well, still you shouldn’t do anything you don’t feel comfortable with.” You gave him a tiny smile. “Don’t worry I trust you, it’s only for a second right.” He couldn’t help it. You intrigued him. The way you made him forget what he was doing (literally), the way you were sooo out of place, but still seemed to enjoy your time here and the way you just talked to him. “Alright let’s go then ACTION.” And the crew just knew Bakugou’s “action” was just as valid as the director’s.

You continued with the loving looks. Bakugou’s smile was a lot bigger than before, “He can really act.” You thought to yourself. And while you were still holding his neck in your arms, he grabbed the blanket and put it over the two of you in a swift move. Now you were surrounded in the dark. The only thing you could see were his red eyes. “Thanks for making me feel at ease today Bakugou. It was nice of you being cautious whether you should kiss me. Err... I mean kiss my cheek.” You stammered quickly, knowing that this conversation could only take a few seconds. “ No problem Dumbass. I’m still cautious though..” his face was closer now. “About what?” You let out. Feeling butterflies in your stomach, feeling your breathing stagger and your hands getting sweaty. “About whether I should kiss you right now. You’re probably too nervous with everyone around right?” How had he known that you wanted to kiss him? You felt humiliated, but still you had a ace up your sleeve. “Don’t worry about that, I already paused everyone.” You said with a smirk. “WAIT A MINUTE, you DAMN extra were the one to pau...” but he couldn’t finish his sentence. You had already put your lips on his and he had already forgotten all about his anger. That day you found out that you could use your quirk to a much longer extent than 30 seconds.

Authors note: Just a quick story I came up with. Hope you enjoyed it and would appreciate a reblog💚

[guacam011y]

***SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 5 OF WANDAVISION***

HOLY SHITE MY MIND IS BLOWN

TOMMY AND BILLY CRYING

“Do you want me to take that again?” “Take it from the top?”

Agnes knows ! Tiger - Ralph

“Dark liquor” Vision being concerned

Billy and Tommy aged up?!

I DO NOT TRUST HAYWARD

SCARLET WITCH - TALKING ABOUT HOW WANDA DOESN’T HAVE A CODENAME

SIS STRAIGHT UP TOOK VISIONS CORPSE

HEX — HER POWERS GET REFERRED TO AS HEX POWERS SOMETIMES IN THE COMICS

CAPTAIN MARVEL REFERENCE

NORM SAYING NONE OF IT IS REAL

SPARKY THE DOG - VISION HAD A STAND ALONE AND STOLE A DOG

HER ACCENT

LAGOS

SHE DOESNT KNOW HOW ANY OF THIS STARTED IN THE FIRST PLACE

EVAN PETERS AS QUICKSILVER

DARCY GOING “SHE RECAST PIETRO?” MOOOD

X-MEN, START TO THE MULTIVERSE?!

WANDA CAN’T BE THE ONLY ONE CONTROLLING IT

IS MONICA MAD AT CAROL???

MONICA X DARCY?! WHAT A POWER COUPLE THAT WOULD BE

SIS REALLY ENDGAME - ENDGAME ENDED WITH TONY’S FUNERAL AND WANDA PROBS WENT STRAIGHT FROM THERE AND STOLE HER DEAD BF’S CORPSE (can’t really blame her, it looked like they were trying to experiment on Vis and could it be Hayward behind it?)

WHO WAS THAT ENGINEER THAT MONICA WAS GOING TO CONTACT?

BABY VISION

AND AGNES DEFINITELY KNOWS SOMETHING

DARCY FINALLY GOT HER COFFEE

SO VIS SAID THAT WANDA COULD’VE MADE EVERYTHING SUBCONSCIOUSLY AND THAT OVER TIME SHE BECAME AWARE OF IT, AND SIS DEFO HAS SOME CONTROL BUT IT’S NOT ALL HER. I THINK AGNES IS AGATHA HARKNESS AND EITHER MEPHISTO IS BEHIND IT OR IT’S NIGHTMARE AND THEY’VE MAYBE POWERED UP NIGHTMARE

***FURTHER UPDATES AND EASTER EGGS***

Auntie Agnes and Agnes saying she has a few tricks up her sleeve - we should definitely take note of that seeing as Agnes definitely has something to do with the whole situation

Wanda and Vision’s house changed again, being inspired by Family Ties, possibly Full House and Growing Pains

“Do you want me to take it from the top?” It seems as though when someone, this time Vision, steers away from the script, things either reset themselves or people become aware to some capacity, although Agnes probably already knows

Speaking of Growing Pains - It had a spin off called “Just the 10 of Us” in which the director for Wandavision, Matt Shakman, was apart of the cast - and seemingly also inspired the theme song for this week

We should definitely keep an eye on Monica and her potential for powers. With Maria last episode revealed to have gone by the name ‘Photon’ (which is a name that Monica uses as one of her aliases in the comics) and could inspire Monica’s name as she develops her powers - those scans didn’t look 100% normal. Monica has also used the Captain Marvel monicker in the comics

Wanda’s energy field and such being referred to as “Hex” short for Hexagon, could be a little nod to the comics where Wanda’s powers are sometimes called Hex powers

She’s never been referred to as the Scarlet Witch on the big screen - and it seems as though she soon may earn that code name

So we now know that Wanda stole Vision’s corpse from S.W.O.R.D, but did she actually re animate him fully? He’s still got the gem in the centre of his forehead, but the last time he had it was in Infinity War where it promptly got ripped out by Thanos - so has Wanda found her own way of reanimating him and he’s alive or is he dead and just a trick of the mind - though from other trailers/previews, Vis is seen trying to and looks successful at leaving Wanda’s barrier

They had a little call back to Captain America: Civil War with the Sokovia Accords, which were targeting the Avengers in general but were created when Wanda lost control of her powers and killed civilians

A little joke towards Vis as playing “Father Knows Best” in their little suburbia - Which was a sitcom that ran for 200 episodes in the 50’s

Sparky ! A little nod to the little green dog from the Walta and King comics run for Vision and unfortunately soon meets the same fate 💔

A little nod to Endgame when we hear from Monica that Wanda definitely could’ve taken down Thanos by herself had Thanos not rained fire - and Jimmy arguing that Captain Marvel could’ve just as easily done it - which leaves Monica with an angry look on her face

Good ol’ dial up internet

Can Vis “save” the residents of Westview? He can still seemingly interact with people’s minds, with or without the mind stone - Norm soon comes out of his trance as Vis snaps him out of it and asks to call his sister and that he has to save them all from “her” - now this “her” could be Wanda...but it could also be Agnes and then Vis shuts him down soon enough again and Norm goes back to his sit com self

Billy and Tommy are fully aware, or at least suspect Wanda’s abilities - after asking her to bring back Sparky from the dead and speaking of Billy and Tommy - could they be semi permanent fixtures in the MCU, it would help to introduce the Young Avengers eventually. They'll do Young Avengers at some point since Kang is supposed to be a thing in the third Ant-Man.

Teddy, unfortunately, I don't think will be here for a bit (I really hope he is though!). I think the guy they hired that everyone is rumoring to be Teddy might just be an episode about Billy coming to terms with his sexuality and Wanda and Vis learning to accept it in the way that era of tv they're in would go about with that kind of episode and the dude is just a dude - but again, I really hope it’s Teddy 😭

Wanda leaves the hex after a mini missile/plane tries to shoot at her - and she’s in her Scarlet Witch costume and is seemingly mostly back to her “normal self”, which includes her accent !

Lagos brand paper towels - “For when you make a mess you didn’t mean to” - a nod to Civil War again in which Wanda accidentally blew up a building in Lagos and caused the Sokovian accords to come to fruition

The mail man again - I also think he was in the commercial but anywho - “Your mom won’t let him go far” similar to “Much like she won’t let anyone leave” a potential nod to Wanda or Agnes not letting anyone leave?

“We can’t reverse death” and yet she brought Vision back - keeping in mind that he’s an android but still a little foreshadow to what happened at the end of the ep? Better yet, could Pietro coming back be a distraction for Wanda? Agnes or whoever introducing someone that Wanda lives in hopes that she won’t go full on breakdown superpowers or just to give her an attachment to Westview even more and make her not want to leave at all

“She recasted Pietro” EVAN ! I’m so pumped for this - it seems this could turn into the X-Men making their debut earlier than expected possibly? In any case, it’s a nice little Easter Egg to the previous Fox franchise of X-Men movies where Evan played Peter Maximoff “Quicksilver” alongside James McAvoy as Prof X, Hugh Jackman as Wolverine and so many others - and with Deadpool being confirmed as Disney’s first R rated film, it seems Mutants are definitely on their way to the MCU

Agnes is definitely Agatha or a gender bent Nightmare

The way Billy shed himself and Tommy up was scary - definitely a little nod to his powers coming in

Multiple different perspectives of Wanda saying that Monica left

Red Hex dialled up to around light sources (computer, window, etc.)

Vision mentions reading Charles Darwin’s The Descent of Man - which could refer to Mutants entering the MCU, Mutants being superior to humans

Agnes calls herself Auntie Agnes - in episode 2 during the title sequence in the grocery store there’s a product called ‘Auntie A’s Kitty Litter’

Agnes refers to herself as a Tiger and in the episode, there’s a Tiger on the dining table in the kitchen - could that be a listening device, her eyes and ears?

There are no other children in Westview - Billy and Tommy are immune because they have no prior trauma

Elizabeth Olsen’s photos are real and slightly altered with Sokovian flags in the background

In the birthday shot of Billy and Tommy, they have ‘1,2,3,4,5’ candles all on one cake

In the holiday photos, Vision goes from Turkey to Easter Bunny, to Santa and progressively gets more unhappy - realising he no longer wants to play along in Wanda’s Hex

During Monica’s callbacks to seeing Wanda’s pain inside her head, we see a new shot of Wanda crying - it looks like it’s around the time she stole Vision’s corpse, as the outfit she’s wearing is very similar, if not the same - could this be an after shot of when she’s trying to bring Vision back?

During the scene where we see the footage of Wanda stealing Vision’s corpse, the S.W.O.R.D logo that appears on the table has 8 stars around the rim of the logo but then has a 9th one in the middle - could this be a little Easter Egg to the nine realms of the Cosmos? And there’s also a map showing Cape Canaveral, could that be where S.W.O.R.D’s headquarters are?

Wanda and Pietro were born in 1989 to Irina and Oleg Maximoff - who were killed in an air raid when the twins were 10. In the comics, Wanda and Pietro were raised by Django and Maria Maximoff, before their true parentage was revealed as being the children of Magneto, however, in the comics this has been retconned so that Wanda and Pietro are no longer Mutants and the High Evolutionary had just disguised them as Mutants (something I think they should undo tbh - MARVEL, PLEASE MAKE WANDA AND PIETRO MUTANTS AGAIN!!!)

Speaking of the air raid, that was also referenced in Age of Ultron by Pietro and Wanda - “We were 10 years old, having dinner the four of us. And the first shell hits 2 floors below, makes a hole in the floor” - was the beeping Stark toaster be what that was referring to?

WHIH reappears for a brief cameo as the news service in the MCU - and Hayward cuts off Jimmy as he was trying to defend Wanda’s reputation, in which Jimmy then turns to Darcy and says “I try not to speak ill of people” Darcy then follows up with “Then allow me, Hayward’s a-“ and then she’s cut off by a shot back to Hayward saying the word “Terrorist” which would make sense as it seems with Vision’s corpse, he may have been trying to make sentient weapons and by subverting Vision’s will and blaming Wanda of doing the same. In the footage shown of Wanda stealing Vision’s remains, we see Vision broken up into parts and S.W.O.R.D seems to be experimenting on him and this seems to be the robotics/nanotech project that Hayward was referring to. Monica asks Hayward about the footage saying “When was this?” to which Hayward replies saying “9 days ago. Maximoff stormed our facility, stole Vision’s body and resurrected him” - this would mean that Wanda took Vision 2 weeks after the events of Endgame, about a week before Monica returned to S.W.O.R.D and Hayward didn’t tell her any of this and when he sent her in there, he knew exactly what he was doing - with her reputation after Civil War, this makes it easier for Hayward to paint her as the villain.

Back in Westview, Tommy wears red and Billy wears green - which are the colours that Wiccan and Speed wear in the comics, respectively. And it’s also the colours that Wanda and Vision are known for and appears quite a lot in their wardrobes

More in regards to Sparky, he was the synthezoid dog in Tom King’s run of Vision - the story being that he was originally a dog named Zeke who unfortunately passed away after digging up the Grim Reaper’s corpse and getting zapped. The Grim Reaper’s helmet appears during the title sequence of Episode 2 in the floorboards. Could Sparky have been trying to dig up a similar thing when he was caught by Agnes and consequently killed?

Monica mentions that she knows this aerospace engineer, they’re never shown but she is seen texting them. Could it be Reed Richards a.k.a Mr Fantastic? Hayward did mention that some astronauts used to work for S.W.O.R.D before a mission went haywire - though it seems a bit lacklustre to introduce such highly anticipated characters this way. Could it instead be the Skrull daughter of Talos that Monica befriended at the end of Captain Marvel? She mentioned that they had extraterrestrial allies in episode 4 working with her and Fury as apart of S.W.O.R.D - in the Spanish subtitles they use the feminine articles for this engineer - so I think it’s more likely to be Talos’s daughter

The board that we saw in Episode 4 now includes the mailman, drivers license and all - could he be Jimmy’s missing witness?

The tension in the room after Jimmy references Carol is similarly seen when in Spider-Man: Far From Home, where Peter asks Skrull Fury/Talos “How about Captain Marvel?” To which Talos replies “Don’t involve her name”. Fury, Monica and Talos were all on the side of the Skrulls by then end of Captain Marvel and the space station that Fury was on maybe apart of S.W.O.R.D. So did Carol betray them?

A slight reference to Captain America: The First Avenger is made when Monica pulls a Peggy Carter and shoots at something to see if it’s bulletproof, in Peggy’s case it was the iconic Captain America shield and in the case of Monica, it was her clothes that she was wearing after Wanda threw her out of the Hex

Abilash (Norm) never states that Wanda is the one that Vision has to save them from, it’s just “her” - could this instead be Agnes?

When Billy is training Sparky to sit, he puts the treat by his ear up to his temple - a future reference that Billy will one day share the same powers as his mum?

During the scene in which Wanda leaves the Hex briefly, she turns the guns onto Hayward but none are trained on Monica - she may still trust Monica slightly, whereas with Hayward, she slightly more pissed off because of what he was doing to Vision’s remains. And turning a bunch of guns on the people you don’t trust? Like father, like daughter as Magneto pulls a similar move in one of the X-Men films - Hopefully, the big cameo they keep teasing will be Ian McKellan as Magneto or the Magnus of this House of M adaptation

During when Agnes “found” Sparky, she says he died from eating too many leaves from her plants - in the Tom King Vision run, one of Vision’s kids ends up killing Sparky and sees inside his stomach that there’s a plant that Agatha Harkness grows in her garden

All the names that appear during the credits that Wanda tries to run to end the show and to stop Vision from talking are names of people who work on the actual Wandavision show itself

When Evan Peter’s version of Quicksilver shows up, he says “Does a long lost bro get to squeeze his sister to death or what?” I DO NOT TRUST THIS PIETRO - Similar to Wandavision, the Fox X-Men movies moved up decade by decade - First Class was in the 1960s, Days of Future Past was in the 1970s, Apocalypse was in the 1980s and Dark Phoenix was in the 1990’s - which would make even more sense as MCU! Pietro wasn’t born until 1989, whereas Peter was active during the 1980s. I reckon that this Pietro is Jimmy’s missing witness, Agnes’s husband Ralph and is disguising itself as a comforting presence to Wanda as Vision no longer brings comfort and is trying to bring Wanda back to reality - and when he shows up, the mirror in the background behind Wanda is slightly distorted but his hand looks red and in the shot as well, there seems to be a grey arm reaching towards Pietro - in the shot itself behind and in front of Wanda, there’s nothing there but in the mirror, there is! Either way, I do not trust this Pietro and it’s just an entity trying to give Wanda the last thing that could make her happy - but it won’t last, as everything is already breaking down around her.

I seriously seriously love this show so much 💙

[nevergettingoverwincest]

yet another prequelgate fix it

Jensen had a 6am call on Friday, which meant getting up at 4:30 if he wanted to work out first, and as much as he hated to admit it, he was actually not 25 anymore, so he was asleep when the storm broke.

His publicist, Kelly, had let him know two weeks ago after the fifteen minute Deadline interview that she would be working with the networks’ PR people on an announcement about development, and he had texted her back a thumbs up and gone back to spending fifteen hour days on set and cramming in brief calls to his family during the dinner break. She sent him a text around dinner time like she always did when she updated his Twitter or Insta for him. A couple of hours later, he’d gone to bed.

The only phone numbers that would ring through his do-not-disturb settings were Danneel, his parents, and his manager, so he was woken at the ass-crack of dawn by his normal alarm. As soon as he silenced his alarm, dozens of text and missed call notifications popped up and Jensen felt a swoop of dread that never got less unpleasant for all its familiarity. He opened the ones from Kelly first.

10:28pm - Bit of a situation

10:45pm - Call me when you get this

12:18am, which was 3 am in LA, jesus - Check your email before you check twitter tomorrow

With some trepidation, he opened his email and clicked on the one from Kelly at the top of his inbox that just said “situation summary”

It only took a minute or two to scan it, but he felt his stomach drop sickly. “Shit,” he said aloud to the empty room, and then rasped his palm over his jaw and muttered, “Fuck,” with feeling. 

His first instinct was to call Jared immediately, but he stopped with his thumb hovering over the speed dial icon. 5:30 in Texas - Jensen had no idea whether that meant Jared was sound asleep or already on set. And wasn’t that the crux of the problem right there? He’d spent the last fifteen years knowing Jared’s call times as well as he knew his own, along with every other minute detail of his life, all without ever having to think about it.

Instead he sent a text - hey dude. call me

Then he called Kelly - it was almost 8 in California at least. The rundown she gave him wasn’t that different from what had been in her email, and her familiar soothing patter wasn’t as helpful as it normally was after a PR snafu because it wasn’t just a bad headline or a quote out of context that had upset some fans. That stuff was easy to ignore with his Twitter notifications blissfully turned off. This was Jared.

Danneel sent him a text around 9am - love you. you okay? - He sent her back a poop emoji and got a heart in return.

“Dude,” Karl said when they ran into each other outside makeup between shoots. He had a latex gash crafted over one eye and colorfully bloody makeup all down his cheek.

“I know,” Jensen said.

“Sorted it with your boy yet?”

“Waiting for his call.”

Karl shrugged. “See you on set. Want me to grab you coffee?” Jensen liked Karl.

His phone finally rang just past noon. They were in the middle of a shot when he felt it vibrate in his pocket, and he didn’t mean to break but his expression must have slipped with his desire to check the call because the director called “Cut! More blue steel, less constipated, Ackles.”

He pulled the phone out of his pocket, heart pounding. “It’s Jared. Can I...?”

There was a ripple of acknowledgement in the studio and the director waved a hand. “Take 10.”

Jensen had already missed the call by then, so he slipped out behind the sound stage and called Jared back. “Hey.”

“Dude,” Jared said, and something unknotted in Jensen’s stomach. Jared was pissed at him, rightfully, but they could handle pissed.

“I fucked up,” Jensen said, because there was no reason to deny it.

Jared made a strangled laugh. “No kidding. Want to give me the inside scoop on this project that I guess is actually happening?”

“Maybe happening,” Jensen corrected. “It’s still really early. Exploratory phase. And honestly the pitch and network commitment all happened really fast. Eric got his weight behind it and it went from just an idea to a script commitment since we last talked.”

“You could have texted me. Hell, you could have sent a carrier pigeon. Hey dude you know that show we built together from the fucking ground up for fifteen years? Just finished a great meeting with some execs, they’re thinking of picking up a prequel!”

Jensen just barely resisted the urge to rub his face, remembering his make-up at the last minute. “I know. Fucked up, like I said. I just. I dunno, forgot that you don’t know everything about my life anymore. What happened to you reading my goddamn mind all the time?”

“Guess it doesn’t work long distance,” Jared said, not quite as humorous as it could have been.

“Guess not.” Jensen chewed on his lip. “Still friends?”

“Still brothers, asshole,” Jared said, and Jensen felt himself start to smile genuinely for the first time all day. “I expect to hear all about this thing going forward.”

“Yeah. For sure. I mean, we don’t even know if it’ll happen.”

“It’ll happen, dude,” Jared said, “You’ve got this.” And that was the guy Jensen had loved for the last decade and a half - encouraging even when he was upset, quick to anger but forgiving almost to a fault.

“Well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves, anyway. But you’ll definitely hear about it.”

“I’d better,” Jared growled. “My publicist gave me another earful about letting her have control of my Twitter, and it’s definitely all your fault.”

“I guess I deserve that ,” Jensen said, smiling down at the pavement between his boots. “I take zero responsibility for your bad decisions on social media except in this one case.”

“I’ll buy her flowers and send you the bill.”

Jensen barked a laugh. “Do that.” A PA stuck her head out the side door, motioning for him to wrap it up. He blew out a breath, chest aching. “I’ve got to get back to set.”

“Me too. I’m pretty sure my entire directorial team and half my cast are waiting outside my trailer for the incident report. I’ve been a mess this morning.”

“Sorry,” Jensen said again. “Fuck, I miss you, man.”

Jared sighed in his ear, a rush of static over the line. “Miss you too. I’ll see you back here when filming wraps?” 

“Next stop after I kiss my wife and kids,” Jensen promised.

“Do I get a kiss too?” Jared joked, and Jensen grinned to himself. They were gonna be okay.

[chrisjake-cp]

History 3 Trapped Filming Diary (full English translation) - Days 61-66 (final part)

Masterpost here.

I don’t own the book so I can’t post my scans of the pictures that came with it. So I posted some other pictures of the scenes that were being filmed. These pics belong to LINE TV or Choco Media, or I’ve taken screenshots.

Read days 61-66 (final day) under the cut. 

Day 61

In the final days before the end of shooting, we were finally scheduled to film in Zhaozi’s house. 

Zhaozi’s house basically only exists to let him and Jack be able to court each other. Every scene is just sweet and unbearably cute. In the drama, Zhaozi’s house is one that his late grandmother had left him. Mounted on the wall was a small framed picture of an older lady, and the protagonist of this picture was really Tingxuan’s [Kenny’s] living (maternal) grandma. His grandmother is already over 90 years old but she keeps in very strong health and can walk around in the park without having to use crutches. Kenny has a good relationship with his grandmother. When he took this photo out and introduced her to us, his eyes were full of happiness that we didn’t see at other times.⁕ 

An apron-wearing Jack is like the embodiment of a handsome chef coming to your house. Even if what he prepares are only super simple instant noodles, he could flirt with Zhaozi (and the hearts of many girls). 

I don’t know if Zhaozi’s grandma, looking on from the picture frame, would be satisfied with this young idol wearing her apron though. 

⁕ Kenny, why so cute? 😭

Day 62

That’s right. Today was also a whole day of kissing, hugging and rolling on the bed (I’m flustered) in Zhaozi’s house. The Sanzhi Little White House B&B has featured as the location for many famous commercials and idol dramas. The inside of the house feels warm and sweet, which is why it was selected as this drama’s setting for Zhaozi’s house. 

Zhaozi’s room is located on the second floor. Young people have good physical strength, because they had to kiss from the first floor all the way up to the second floor (if I’m not careful almost all of today’s pictures will be kissing pictures, hahahahaha), then in the room on the second floor they were rolling around in the bed and then back to the first floor to roll on the table. 

When you look at the pictures of the table scene, maybe it was cut to a short moment in the show, but the positions and the movements for this scene were rather complicated.  The two needed to first practice the chemistry between their positions and the camera, and many different camera angles as well as bloopers happened during filming. The two of them lingered at the table half the night, their rolling around started from dinner and went on until they had a midnight snack. We really can’t but admire the two’s good core strength. 

Day 63

Actually, the fighting scenes in the car and after they get out of the car after Tang Yi and Shaofei are being seized were filmed on different days. Therefore, what was filmed today was after Shaofei pulled the handbrake (right, I use this as the dividing point [between the scenes]) and the two of them rushed up the mountain. The weather that day was really cold, so it was also a test for the crew to go shooting in the mountains. 

That same day we also shot the plotline of how Shaofei fantasizes about how to get off the mountain. The crew used branches to make a scarecrow for Tang Yi and Shaofei to hang their clothes on. But during the filming process the art team made a total of three scarecrows. When asked about it, it was not because they wanted to have a back-up prop, but because one of them was snatched away by a dog from the mountains to use as a toy.

The art crew went: “Doggie, you bastard, come back here” (in Shaofei’s elevator voice)⁕ 

⁕  When Shaofei was cuffed to the handrail and Tang Yi stepped out of the elevator, Shaofei said almost the same thing to Tang Yi. (”Tang Yi, you bastard, get back here.”)

Day 64

It’s two days before the end of shooting, and I already can’t think anymore about how many times these two have kissed. And today was another whole day of kissing. I’m not exaggerating. Early in the morning we filmed that Shaofei grabbed Tang Yi’s hands when they got to the courthouse. When Director Qingrong arranged the scene, she figured that the plot allowed for them to kiss again, so a kissing scene was added on the spot. 

In the afternoon we switched sets and went to the balcony at the hospital. On the balcony Shaofei confessed his feelings and also stealthily kissed [Tang Yi]. How could someone confess like that and kiss straight after? Our boss Tang hadn’t even responded [to the confession] yet! Counting on my fingers, one camera angle takes 8 takes on average, and for one scene we would approximately change angles four or five times. So for all the scenes from morning until in the afternoon, they at least kissed 70 times, and that’s only today. ⁕ 

⁕ Listen, I need to see aaaaaaaallllll the taaaaaaaaakes.   

Day 65

Tang Yi and Shaofei have finished filming! 

They spent 68 days of wind, sun and rain together, they went through being chased by men in black and hit by bullets, together they spent [a night] in an abandoned cabin on fire, the two went from being strangers at the acting and martial arts classes to gradually developing a deep connection with each other and hand in hand, they overcame all kinds of difficulties. 

Different from the other “HIStory” series we have made before, <Trapped> was the first story to break free of having a school campus as its setting. The plot was much more complicated and the actors were faced with more and bigger challenges. Regardless of whether it were psychological challenges concerning their acting, or psychical challenges of being involved in numerous fights and constantly sustaining injuries, it was all very tough on them. The last day of filming, with good weather, was also spent in a fight. They fought 8 hours straight, from 9am in the morning until the sun set in the mountains, which was a major test of physical strength. The sun shone brightly, there were high temperatures and the rays of the sun dazzled the eyes. Tang Yi fought bravely in a suit and leather shoes, and Shaofei’s left eye was hit during the fighting process. He immediately returned to a state of readiness for war after a quick break to apply some ice to it. Thank you, all actors, for your dedication and the beauty of each frame that you presented, and thank you to the crew members behind the scenes for their hard work. You can leave the rest up to us now. 

Boss Tang was finished with shooting a little earlier than Shaofei, because in the evening, Unit 3 continued their scenes in the restaurant. Unexpectedly a group of people arrived earlier at the restaurant and waited for our arrival. It turned out to be our senior colleagues from <Crossing The Line>, Yanze (Zach Lu) and Menglin (Nick Yang) who were visiting the set. When they saw their younger ‘brothers’ working hard to film this show, and them being riddled with scars from filming, the original mood of being there to supervise softened. Senior Zach patted junior Jake on the shoulder, saying, “Seeing you taking this so seriously, I can pass the baton to you guys with an assured mind.”

Day 66

On the last day of shooting, the crew was divided into two groups to carry out the work. One group was responsible for returning to the international conference office and for going up the mountains to shoot some more final material to fill up some gaps; the other group in turn stayed behind at Zhaozi’s house to shoot scenes for the final episode, namely the fight and bed scenes after Jack took Zhaozi home on his motorbike (or should I say ‘transported’ home?). The evening’s bed scene called for Jack to do a lot of push-ups. Each time after “Action” was yelled, Jack huffed out sounds like “Ah” and “Huh” while doing his push-ups, which rendered the crew at the scene unable to stop laughing. After shooting the ‘official’ scenes, to increase the sound effects from under the covers, the two actors were asked specifically to use the blanket to create some more needed sounds for the show. After confirming that the sounds were okay, Director Qingrong yelled “We can pack up! <Trapped> has finally finished shooting.” Because there were other houses in the neighbourhood of Jack’s house and it was night time, everyone cheered a little bit but immediately said “shhhhhh”, reminding each other to be quiet. 

To be frank, practicing how to say goodbye is definitely not a simple thing. When you continue doing the same thing for 21 days, it would slowly become a habit. But with <Trapped>, from when shooting started until we finished filming, we went through 66 work days together. We were used to getting along with everyone, we were used to getting up early and eating breakfast together, or eating a snack in the middle of the night. Meeting with this whole team every day had become a kind of habit. In these 66 days, we experienced Yilan in 10 degrees and 30 degrees, we climbed mountains together and jumped into swimming pools together, we may have accidentally slipped on the mountain and gotten injured, we were shot at by airsoft guns (BB guns), and the thick smoke in the abandoned cabin made our nostrils turn black. All of that will become memories now. Finishing shooting [a show] is like the feeling of attending a graduation ceremony when you are a kid: you look forward to it, but the closer to the day it gets, the more you feel like you don’t want it to end. We hope that everyone who reads this diary will feel the warmth brough by the crew of <Trapped> and we also hope that these memories that left a deep impression, will forever remain in everyone’s hearts.

[valerzya]

𝖛𝖆𝖑𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖞𝖆 𝖑𝖊𝖓𝖐𝖔𝖛 𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖗𝖔𝖉𝖚𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓 . . .

( irina shayk. cis woman. she/her. the question & mac miller. ) have you seen VALERIYA LENKOV strolling around central park at lunchtime? rumor has it they’re actually THIRTY-FIVE years old, but i’m pretty sure they’re only THIRTY. they’re currently posing as a SCREENPLAY WRITER, but when dusk falls, you can usually find them heading home to MANHATTAN by CAR SERVICE. apparently they DID attend the met gala this season! 

hello, all ! i’m lauryn, 21, my pronouns are she/her, and i currently reside within the cst timezone. i’ve been tumblr rping on and off for about 8 years now, and this is my first time playing valeriya. here’s is my second muse of this rp, valeriya lenkov ! her about is listed here, her statistics are listed here, and her plotting page is listed here. if you’d like to claim any of the plots on that page or do some other plotting, shoot me a message ! i prefer discord, but i’m open to messaging on tumblr. my discord is limes#6826. i look forward to writing with everyone !

TW: CHRONIC ILLNESS, DEPRESSION, MURDER

born in a rural mining town located in russia to a coal miner and a home birth midwife, valeriya nikolayevna lenkov had a relatively average upbringing. as an only child, she received a generous amount of attention from her parents. when they were not working, they were home with their daughter. valeriya was a frail child who often grew sick, though she received a lot of attention from locals who referred to her as the most beautiful child in town. her parents dreamed of whisking her away to the united states, where they could hopefully get a diagnosis for her illness. sponsored by valeriya’s aunt in manhattan, the family prepared to make the jump by spending their free time practicing their english and setting up employment for valeriya’s father at his sister’s husband’s work.

upon arriving in manhattan, valeriya, now seven, and her family lived with her aunt and her husband for nearly a year. valeriya’s mother had found work as a seamstress while her father migrated from food preparation to a construction job, which finally earned the family some health benefits. with that in place and with the recommendation of a specialist, valeriya was put through a series of medical examinations. after numerous pokes and prods and a scan or two, no affliction had been identified. it had become an assumption that valeriya’s susceptibility to sickness was due to a compromised immune system, though nothing was ever confirmed.

life in manhattan differed greatly from valeriya’s upbringing. she had gone from the quiet, desolate roads to a bustling city crowded with rats and bodies. school had been rough on valeriya for the first couple years; her english was far from perfect and she would go through periods of illness that made her truant. she was lucky to not have to repeat any grades, though it came close. her parents’ work schedules had become more hectic since the move, with her father being on call and her mother working full time at odd hours, so it was often left to her aunt to look after her.

middle school and high school proved to be far more tolerable for valeriya. english was no longer a concern of hers after years of schooling, and she received ample attention for her good looks and compassionate nature. valeriya was considered popular amongst her peers despite her occasional disappearance from school for a week or so at a time. her friends doted on her, filling the void that her mostly absent parents had left; they would often visit her with comfort foods and gifts when she was sick.

in her sophomore year of high school, valeriya met a boy that she would deem to be her first love. she fell head over heels for the boy, and he returned her affections. it wasn’t long until valeriya began to exhibit obsessive behaviors though, resulting in their split. valeriya was heartbroken and looked for any distraction to fill her time. she landed on cinema, specifically horror cinema. valeriya expressed an interest in writing her own horror flicks, finding some sort of direction that she had previously lacked. upon graduating high school, valeriya grew seriously ill. her fever refused to break, and she was forced to spend all of her time at home. when she felt well enough, she would fill the silence with the scribbling of her pencil.

after a month, valeriya finally recovered and began taking community college courses on film and screenwriting. she had no intent to seek a degree, having struggled enough already with schooling. her intention was simply to educate herself on how to adapt her stories into screenplays and potentially make a career out of it. in the meantime, she took a job as a waitress at a local cafe. they were understanding in regards to her illness and gave her shifts sparingly, but it was enough to purchase the things that she desired. valeriya grew to be a cynical young adult with bouts of depression. her heartbreak weighed heavy on her, even after years, and her illnesses brought on feelings of hopelessness.

with three completed screenplays in the hands of the twenty-five year old, valeriya sought out the support of an agent. after four failed attempts, someone finally took an interest in her material. by age twenty-seven, valeriya had sold her first script through a production company. it was set to be developed as a direct-to-dvd movie, and valeriya made a killing from it. finally able to move out of her parents’ manhattan apartment into her own one-bedroom apartment, valeriya felt a dash of hope. however, after a couple years of letdowns and rejection, her hope dwindled once again. valeriya grew resentful toward the world, cursing it for the ways it had failed her. her once compassionate spirit had disappeared, replaced with a bitter, pessimistic nature.

at the age of thirty, valeriya met a strange person ( vampire ) who piqued her interest. she was hypnotized by this being and spent a large portion of her time at their side. they were strong and capable, something that she envied. often expressing her envy for these traits, the being took it upon themselves to make valeriya more like them. she was changed into a vampire and for the first time in her lifetime, she radiated with strength and resiliency. her life had been taken from her, but it was almost as though it was just beginning.

finding inspiration to write again, with her mind firing on all cylinders, valeriya produced three more screenplays within a year. miraculously, two out of three sold with both generating a six figure price point. she spent the rest of her time absorbing what was now her life. her thirst for blood empowered her, and she felt superior to the weak humans she fed on. she would familiarize herself with those she fed on before she took their life, viewing feeding as a sport. valeriya had become childish, reckless, and manipulative. she only saw others for what she could gain from them. though she acted a fool, she was intelligent and perceptive. as the years passed, she sold two more screenplays, gaining notoriety within that world. valeriya finally feels as though she’s unstoppable, and she won’t let anything or anyone get in her way.

TLDR ; valeriya was a sickly child who immigrated from russia to manhattan when she was seven. due to what was likely a compromised immune system, she often fell ill. in high school, she suffered a heartbreak that led her to start creating horror screenplays. after selling one, she hit a low point after many more rejections and bouts of illness. she became bitter and resentful toward the world until she was changed into a vampire. now powerful and free from sickness, valeriya revels in her new life. she enjoys feeding on unsuspecting humans, and has even gained more notoriety as a screenplay writer.

important information about her personality can be found in her “about” section linked above.

@duskintro​

[samingtonwilson]

A Bid on Bucky

Summary: You spend thousands of dollars at a bachelor auction for Bucky when you could’ve had him for free this entire time.

Pairing: bucky x reader

a/n: this fic is damning evidence that idiots in love is my favorite genre, your honor. i’ve more likely than not used this gif before but idc because im lov it

Tony Stark is a humanitarian— a fact you have neither forgotten, nor will he allow you to forget. 

Oftentimes, he’ll remind you verbally and, other times, a visual reminder will be posted on the team’s social media accounts. The pictures of him at the elephant sanctuary he helped found in Thailand are your personal favorites.

If news of his latest cause is not filling the pages of The Times or showing up on CNN’s special segment of Billionaires Who Care with Christiane Amanpour, it’s being distributed via monthly text reminder of reasons to leave Tony’s special coffee alone— last month you were told, “His donations allowed the doors of Planned Parenthood to remain open in developing nations such as Burkina Faso, and all he asks for in return is that his teammates do not finish his goddamn coffee.” 

Of course, because you all live for him sniffing out your mugs at morning meetings to discover the culprit, his reminders only lead to greater coffee theft as it, in turn, increases the redness in his face when he finds the morally corrupt heathenous criminal— who is usually Clint. 

In true Tony Stark fashion, though, his favorite way to remind you all, and the rest of the world, is through a gala. A gala where champagne flows like water, money is no object, extravagance is to be expected, and, as a member of the team, attendance is mandatory. 

At first, you hated the damn things. It’s not like you’ve ever cared about the private island one guest owns which another guest is so obviously jealous of, or if the deal to buy a chunk of land on the light side of the moon before that hippie Elon Musk usurps it all has successfully closed. 

But now? Now that you’ve learned how to direct the money those snots brag ostentatiously about into causes you truly care for with a couple little sly techniques, you fucking love the things. 

You and Natasha have a game, actually. Whose Shameless and Absolutely Disingenuous Flirting Will Lead to More Money Donated to (Insert Tony’s Latest Cause Here)? 

Natasha is the current titleholder as Smelly Von Oil Tycoon’s wife shooed you away before you could close the million dollar deal and Cowboy Hat McFast Food Franchise would have given up his entire company if Natasha kept batting her eyelashes at him. But in the end, just as every other time the two of you have played, you both felt like winners because the almost obscene amount of money was helping fund housing for Rohingya refugees living in Bangladesh. The competitive edge to it is just for entertainment. 

This time, though, seeing as this event is an auction and you are in no mood to flirt with red-faced old men with paper-thin skin, you have taken to auctioneering with Sam. 

Motioning to a projected photograph of a luxurious Paris hotel room with a view of the Eiffel Tower in your best Vanna White impression, you grin as brightly as you can. “And the last item Sam and I will be auctioning off together is a two-night stay at Plaza Athénée in Paris. First class airfare for two is included, as are two tickets to the Louvre. You’ve been to Paris, haven’t you, Sam?” 

“Why, yes, baby girl, I have,” he replies with a grin as broad as yours, the spotlight and his natural charm causing his deep brown eyes to sparkle like diamonds. You think for a second that you can actually hear Bucky scoffing in the audience. “A gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell, but I will say that it is called the City of Love for a reason.” 

“Of course, our unlucky-in-love Sam shared those kisses only with every bit of bread and cheese he came across but you can share it all with someone special.” At that, Sam elbows you gently in the ribs with a fond roll of his eyes. “We’re going to start the bidding at twenty-thousand dollars.”

Immediately, paddles shoot up and Sam begins calling out higher bids and paddle numbers while you lean your hip against the podium and take a long sip of your champagne which has since, unfortunately, gone lukewarm and flat. Your face pinches and you scan the crowd for a wandering waiter. 

Before you can, though, your head tilts just as you spot Bucky, a large button reading “BACHELOR #4” pinned to the lapel of his tux.

He’s laughing. Not openly and loudly like he usually does when the two of you are alone, but his shoulders are shaking and he’s grinning so the skin beside his eyes wrinkles. You think fleetingly that his cheeks might even be dusted in pink as he ducks his head. 

The sight makes you smile, too, and you set your champagne aside. It’s secondary now. 

“Congratulations to Mr. Baldwin and all the other winners of these wonderful vacations,” Sam says once the winner has been announced and ushered backstage. “Sadly, our time is up for the night.”

You nod and pick up your microphone again. “Yes, but you will be seeing Sam again tonight as a part of the Bachelor Auction. Give the crowd a spin, Sam, show them what they could be going on a date with.” 

Sam unbuttons his wine-colored tuxedo and spins slowly, a slight swing in his hips. He’s met with several wolf-whistles, a rose thrown on stage, and a brief retching noise courtesy of Clint, to which Sam replies with a wink and a scoffed, “The glory is too much to handle for the insecure and faint of heart, ain’t it, Barton? We got a doctor on retainer in case you pass out.” 

Sam holds out his elbow to help you down the stairs and you gratefully loop your arm through his, your other hand hoisting the hem of your dress above your ankles. 

You sigh after meeting one of the bid winners, smile falling from your lips the moment you turn away. “I should’ve bid on that Marrakech trip.” 

Sam cocks an eyebrow. He doesn’t seem to mind one bit that you have yet to release him and simply follows you as you head to the bar. “Enjoy it last time?” 

“You mean when I was there to locate stolen Chitauri weapons?” you let out a bark of sarcastic laughter. “Steve didn’t even let me glance in the relative direction of a souq when that was the only reason I volunteered.” 

“So that’s a no?” 

You take the fresh flute of champagne a waiter offers and nod your thanks. “That’s a hell fucking no.” A pathetic pout and, “I deserve to love Morocco.” 

“Makin’ that face at me won’t help your cause. Makin’ that face at Pervert Santa Claus over there,” he points to a man, rosy-cheeked with a white beard and wandering eyes, who you recognize as the winner of the trip. “That’ll get you what you want.”

You make a face, tongue sticking out as you gag, and set your glass atop the bar. “First of all, even the prospect of sex with me will make his heart give out.”

Sam laughs into his tumbler of whiskey and rolls his eyes.

You grimace openly when the eyes of an elderly man— his arm around a woman who looks to be barely in her twenties— linger a bit too long and smile when he visibly shrinks. “And B., I only flirt with them to get donations. I’d sooner never leave this tower again than get with one of these ‘I only donate money to boost my public image’ types.” 

He hums and a slow, lazy smile curves his lips. He nods his head in the direction of something behind you. “Barnes’ got a different ideology.”

As casually as you can, you turn your body to lean your elbows atop the bar and tilt your head ever so slightly to glance where Bucky is standing. 

Standing and laughing. How is he still laughing? 

Arching an eyebrow at the woman he speaks to, you lift your glass to your lips. “Doesn’t look like she fits the bill.” 

“You’re joking,” Sam laughs, shaking his head as he sets his elbows on the bar as well. His shoulder brushes yours and, despite the itchy fabric of his tuxedo, you don’t mind. “That’s Maris Scheufele.” 

Long, chestnut brown hair swept over one shoulder to keep her back bare, her gown is silky, liquid gold. Dripping in wealth.

You purse your lips and turn back to Sam. “Is that supposed to mean something to me?” 

“Chopard heiress.” 

“Chopard like—” with wide eyes, you point at the sapphire and diamond earrings borrowed from Pepper on your ears and the matching ring on your left index finger. “Like Cannes Film Festival Chopard? Like that Chopard?” 

“Yeah, that Chopard.” He has to stop from laughing at the look you offer him. He thinks he might see your skin turn green in a matter of minutes. “She’s more loaded than Cigarette-Breath Du Rideshare-App-CEO from the elephant benefit.” 

You manage a small smile and a quick roll of your eyes, only to have them once again land on Bucky and the Chopard heiress. Maris. 

You aren’t jealous— per se. Jealousy is an ugly emotion, after all. Childish, and inconsiderate, and rooted in insecurity. 

Sure, she’s cuddled up next to someone you’re in the midst of denying feelings for out of fear and the prospect of being undeserving. And, sure, she’s covered in diamonds and you’re usually covered in dried blood, dust, and dirt from HYDRA facilities. But you aren’t jealous. 

You know you’ve wasted your time, his efforts, and your emotions being anything but happy with Bucky. Chances lost never come around again, right? So you’ve made your peace with it. You’ve had to make your peace with it.

With how much you’ve messed up, how many chances you’ve lost. With how perfect she is and how perfect he looks laughing with her. 

Perfect. 

So perfect that your teeth grit and the grip you have on your champagne flute tightens.

“He’s gonna bring in the big bucks.” 

You snort. “I thought he had different ideologies.”

“He does. But you know she ain’t gonna let him get auctioned off to anyone else.” A corner of Sam's lips turn up in disgust as he, too, stares at them with little stealth. Nick Fury would be ashamed in you both. “Lookin’ at him like he’s a piece of jerky.” 

“Jerky?”

“Old, dried up beef.” He then hums in agreement with his own words. “Nasty, hundred-year old beef.” 

With a laugh— a laugh that has the cadence of a sob— you drop your head into your hands. 

You meet Bucky’s eyes when you pick your head up, his head tilted in silent question. Perhaps at your wet, ironic smile, perhaps at the pull of your eyebrows. 

You shake your head in response and it’s when he almost immediately returns to laughing at whatever Maris Scheufele is saying that you straighten with a frown. 

What the hell kind of name is that anyway? Maris.

“What the hell—” you pause to take the glass from Sam’s hands and polish off his whiskey. “What the hell is so funny?” 

The glass is snatched back. “Not you finishing my drink, that’s for sure.” 

Shrugging as you continue to stare at Bucky and Maris, you mumble, “Put the next one on my tab.” 

Sam snorts as he asks for another drink, facing you as he adds, “S’an open bar, you cheap ass.” 

Once you’ve been able to secure a fresh, much stronger drink for yourself, you loop your arm through Sam’s again and set your chin on his shoulder. Your noses nearly bump when he looks at you and you both laugh softly. “I fucked up, didn’t I?” 

“You did.” He yelps and laughs when you pinch his side, lightly knocking his head against yours. Gentle eyes meet yours as he says, “Not tryna be harsh, but you had him and you let him go.” 

“I know.” 

“He spent weeks moping about it, you spent weeks moping about it.” 

“I know.”

“It was miserable comforting both you idiots.” 

“Yeah, you’re the real victim here.” 

Despite your dry tone, he nods in agreement. “You could tell him right now. Get all this bullshit over with and out in the open.”

Just the idea makes your heart rate spike. “He might reject me. Exact revenge for what I did.” 

“Barnes is a lotta things. Greasy, geriatric, testy, fuckin’ annoying as shit—” Sam hisses when you pinch him again, “— but vindictive ain’t one of ‘em.” 

Before Sam can convince you to move even an inch from the part of the bar you’ve dubbed yours for the night, warm fingers wrap around your elbow and tap your arm five times in quick succession. A secret identification code. 

A secret identification code that makes you smile despite yourself. You lift your head from Sam’s shoulder and hope you don’t look too eager as Bucky leans back against the bar, facing you entirely. “Look who it is.” 

He waves vibranium fingers and grins, a bit of that thirties charm you’d heard so much about shining in his blue eyes as he looks at you. “Hi, sweetheart. Wilson,” he adds with a playfully curt nod, chuckling when Sam returns it. “You were great up there. Prettiest MC I’ve ever seen. Almost had me buyin’ the trip to Morocco to make up for the shit Steve put you through.”

You feel Sam shaking in silent laughter and sigh when you hear his whispered, “For fuck’s sake.” 

“Only ‘almost’?” you ask with a pout Bucky grins at and wide eyes that have him swallowing over a dry throat. “What does a girl have to do for you to actually bid?” 

He shakes his head after a moment of simply staring, chuckling. “These poor bastards don’t stand a chance against you, do they? They’d probably sign their entire companies over to you and not think twice about it.”

“Just doing my part to save the Amazon,” you shrug. “Like you’re doing with the Bachelor Auction.” 

“‘Bout that,” he begins as he straightens his jacket and tie— all black. You trace his jaw, sharp and angular, when he glances away for just a second. “How long d’you think it’ll take Stark to put me out of my misery when nobody bids on me?”

“I wouldn’t be so negative. I know of one person who’ll definitely bid on you.”

His lips quirk up on one end, eyes dreamy as his head tilts in indulgence. “Yeah? Who’s that?” 

“Your heiress.” 

Bucky doesn’t seem to notice Sam jabbing his elbow into your ribs and cocks an eyebrow in confusion. “My what?” 

Though you weren’t planning on replying, Tony’s voice over the speakers doesn’t allow Bucky to question you further and you heave a sigh of relief. He calls all the bachelors to the stage and Sam pulls his arm from yours, bumping your shoulders together before he departs just as Tony begins telling a story of his first bachelor auction and how much he went for. 

Bucky remains still, however. Leant against the bar, eyes on you. 

“Bachelor number 4,” you say, pointing at the button he wears. You smile softly. “You’re needed on stage.” 

That seems to jolt him out of whatever stupor he was lost in and he stands straight. He takes a step forward and pauses, so close you can feel the heat radiating from him and smell his subtle cologne. “Bid on me if no one else does.” 

“I won’t need to.” 

Natasha finds you just as the bidding begins and orders herself a drink. She doesn’t say much, simply looking at you as you stare at Bucky standing next to Steve and Sam, and nods to herself. She remains a quiet, comfortable presence until Steve is brought to centerstage and nearly every paddle in the room shoots up. “You tell him yet?” 

“Nope.” 

“Thought so.” She nods her head to her left and you follow the movement to where Maris sits, back straight as she, too, looks at Bucky— but she’s grinning, paddle poised to be raised. “Scheufele being a cock block?” 

You’re visibly surprised when you turn back to Natasha, her ginger hair falling in loose waves over her shoulders. “How did you— How the hell could you possibly know that?” 

With the crooked curve of blood red lips, she smiles. “I’m just that good. And Sam texted me about it ten minutes ago.”

She continues to watch you as the excited winner of a date with Steve rises from his seat. “He’s next.” 

“I know that.” 

“You gonna bid on him?” 

You snort, though unconvincingly, and shake your head. “And go against an heiress? I’ll save myself the embarrassment.” 

“Stark pays us buckets,” she tells you with a frown, picking a stray piece of lint off her silver dress. “You could afford to go against an heiress.”

Bucky’s eyes are narrowed as he looks over the crowd of people seated at their tables. The light bounces off diamonds and sequins, gold and shiny leather shoes. It stings his eyes, it makes him scowl. 

“And next, ladies and gentlemen, feast your eyes on Bachelor Number 4,” Tony announces, turning a bit to glance at Bucky as he trudges over, not bothering to look a bit more appealing. “James Buchanan Barnes, truly the human equivalent of a cat.” 

Bucky openly glares at Tony now.

“James enjoys silence, brooding, eating like a fuckin’ horse, and telling the same story more than once,” Tony continues, ignoring the roll of Bucky’s eyes. “Cute, cuddly, and a little dangerous, we’ll start the bidding at one-thousand.” 

Three paddles shoot up. One from Maris, and two toward the center of the room. Your shoulders tense, Bucky’s relax.

“Okay, do I see eleven hundred?” 

Two paddles remain lifted until Maris shouts from her seat in a lilting voice, “Three thousand.” 

Your jaw clenches, Bucky grins. 

Tony set his hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “Alright, three thousand going once—” 

“Thirty-one hundred!” 

It feels as if the entire room turns in their seats to gape at you, but you try to pay them no mind. You, wearing your jealousy and determination like armor, stand at the bar with an empty glass in your hand, waiting for Tony to call your bid. But before he can— 

“Thirty-two!”

Your eyebrows furrow as you look at Maris. “Thirty-three!” 

“Four thousand!” She’s smiling. A perfectly manicured eyebrow is raised in challenge. 

You see red. “Forty-three hundred.” 

“Six thousand!” 

“Sixty-five hundred!” 

“Seventy-five hundred!”

When you look at the stage in a bit of a panic, Tony grins expectantly at you and Bucky— Well, you don’t think Bucky’s ever looked so shocked in all the time you’ve known him. But when his eyes go from Maris to meet yours, you find yourself yelling, “Ten thousand!” 

The room goes silent, or maybe you’ve just tuned it all out, and Tony is shaking his head in amusement. “Ten thousand going once.” 

You turn toward Maris as she sits and tosses her paddle onto the table. “Ten thousand going twice.”

You face the stage again. Bucky’s expression is unreadable. “Sold to our beautiful teammate in blue.” 

A bright spotlight shines on you and you fight the urge to run from the room, from the Tower, from New York, and give your best smile. 

— 

It’s four in the morning, all the lights on the residential floors of the Tower have been turned off, and the world is peaceful. But your mind continues to race. 

You sit at the kitchen counter, container of Sam’s leftover cheesecake from your lunch out with him open before you. You twirl a fork between your fingers and stare at nothing in particular, your soft breaths the only sound in the room. 

You’d changed out of your dress hours ago, washed off your makeup and taken the pins out of your hair. You could barely meet the eyes of your reflection out of fear of judgement and you didn’t ask FRIDAY to dim the lights or lock your door just in case she laughed at you. 

Tony had yet to talk to you about paying the ten grand you bid on Bucky and you left the ballroom before anyone could so much as snicker. You knew you couldn’t hide forever, you just needed the night to come to terms with your own stupidity. 

Yet as you prop your chin upon your palm and sigh, you think you might need a day or two, too. 

Quiet steps down the hall are made purposefully louder as they grow closer so as to not startle you, the lights dim as bulbs flicker on to about ten-percent of their full brightness. You fear your heartbeat might be audible to everyone in a ten mile radius at the sight of his blue eyes, messy brown hair, and wrinkled black t-shirt, and take a deep breath through parted lips in a futile attempt to calm it down.

He offers you a small smile and walks to the fridge. “You want some water?” 

You shake your head— even though he can’t see you. “No, I’m fine.” 

There’s a beat of silence and you take a breath to steady yourself. “Buck, I think we should talk.” 

He takes out a glass bottle of water for himself and shuts the fridge, leaning against the sink. He’s still smiling. “I know.” 

“I—” 

“I’m not gonna hold you to this thing,” he interjects, rolling the bottle between his hands. He watches as you sit up straight and set your fork down. “I know you made the bid just to donate the money and save me from that married heiress—” 

“Married?” you repeat to yourself. 

“And you’ve made it clear you just want to be friends,” he continues, undeterred. “So it’s okay. Hell, I’ll pay for half of it so I’ll feel like I’ve actually done somethin’ to save the sea turtles.” 

“The Amazon.” 

“Right, the Amazon,” he amends with a quiet laugh. He takes a sip of the water and sets the botte aside. “So whaddya say, huh? We’ll go half and half, help this cause out a little, and you don’t have to go on a date with me.” 

“Bucky, you don’t understand—” 

“No, no, I get it,” he says, walking around the narrow strip of granite separating you to sit on the stool beside yours. Features soft but a little sad, he shrugs as warmth rolls off him in waves. “I told you to bid on me in case no one else did and you saw how much more Steve went for. You tried to raise the bids on me and got stuck since those billionaires didn’t want to shell out more than ten grand on the Winter Soldier. I get it!” 

“That’s not why I did it, Bucky. Not at all.” 

He lowers his eyes to his hands, staring at mismatched palms, and says nothing. 

“Honestly, I—” You stop yourself when it feels as if your heart’s lodged itself in your throat and struggle to swallow over it. “When I saw that Chopard heiress talking to you and laughing with you, and when she bid on you and almost won that date, I— Something happened.” 

He looks at you now, eyebrows pulled together. “What happened?” 

“I— I don’t know. I guess I was a little jealous,” you say with a laugh only to shake your head. There’s a subtle sting behind your eyes, at the tip of your nose, and you pray to every deity you can think of to stop any tears. “No, I was very, very jealous. You two looked so happy and perfect and I wanted to scream, and cry, and— Fuck, all I could think about is how much time, and energy, and emotion I’ve wasted pushing you away so neither one of us ends up heartbroken when I already am.” 

You sigh, unable to meet his gaze as he gapes at you, his mouth hanging open as you laugh mirthlessly. “It probably seems so stupid to you and I know you’ve moved on, but, holy hell, I wish you still had some kind of crush on me because I’m dying here, Buck. I mean I just spent ten thousand dollars to make you go on a date with me.” 

“You did,” he agrees. He’s smiling when you manage to look at him, “You spent ten thousand dollars on me when you could’ve just had me for free this entire time.” 

He grasps your chin between his flesh index finger and thumb and jostles you a little, gaze so adoring. “And what punk ass told you I moved on from you? Huh? That same goof who said it’s just a crush?” 

He leans forward and pauses just before his lips meet yours, as if waiting for you to pull away only for you to close the distance first. 

What starts off as just a light brush of your lips against his quickly turns into a deep, hungry kiss that quiets your mind and forces your heart into overdrive. The warmth of it reaches your toes and every hair follicle, especially as both his hands cup your face while your fingers tangle through his hair, the rasp of his stubbly beard against your soft, sensitive skin stealing your breath even more.

You pull away first and your voice is small, a bit hoarse as you ask, “So you still like me?” 

He sets his forehead against yours and his lips pull into a smile. “I’d say it’s a li’l more than that, sweetheart.” 

It’s hours later when the sun is up, the cheesecake slice is long forgotten, and Bucky’s pulled you onto his stool to straddle his lap, your lips swollen and a little painful, that you groan in embarrassment. 

He immediately leans away from your neck and looks up at you in concern, lips full and cherry red. “What? What’s wrong?” 

“I have to pay Tony ten thousand dollars.” 

Chuckling, he rolls his eyes and presses a kiss to your chin. “I’ll pay it.” 

“Then I’ll owe you ten thousand dollars.” You withhold a moan when he nips at a part of your neck that has your hips rolling into his, the hitching of his breath felt more than heard. “That— that just transfers the problem.”

You feel him smile, arm tightening around you. “I think I know of a way you can pay me back.”

“Sounds like you just discovered the world’s oldest profession.” 

A punishing nip under your jaw and you gasp as he laughs. “I’m still all for going half and half to save the sea turtles.” 

“The Amazon.” 

He sighs and leans back. “Fuckin’ Christ. Someone needs to save the fuckin’ turtles already, then.”

[000scans]

[scans] monotube magazine vol. 2 | wonwoo interview under cut

“We’ve seen the world from a completely different perspective.”

#Cameraman of Khaosan Road #MV director debut planned #Cold host #Acrostic Poem Passed to Joshua

I enjoyed . It felt like watching a locker room of a professional sports team. We’ve always shown our bright and happy side on stage. Some CARATs say they were shocked when they watched it.

I heard that Wonwoo’s interest these days is taking landscape pictures. Is there a reason why you like shooting landscapes, not characters? We go on a lot of tours. In the past, I thought the scenery would remain in my head when I went on a trip abroad, but it was easy to forget when I saw the scenery I liked. So then I started taking photos of the scenery to remember that image for a long time. As I was taking it, it was just too attractive. Since then, I’ve studied film to develop further. It started as a small hobby at first, but it turned into a big one.

Did you participate in making the “Snap Shoot” MV? “Snap Shoot” is made by Mingyu. I was going to do it with Mingyu at first, but the camera model is different, so it didn’t stick well when I was editing it. So Mingyu decided to film and edit it. But I was proud that the results came out really well.

Did you learn how to edit videos formally? During the tour, we got lessons from the documentary directors whenever we had time. After the tour schedule, we took classes in the evening, and we talked over a beer together. I think I stayed up all night editing whenever I had time to.

You got one point lessons from the masters. When was the most enjoyable shoot during the tour? I was given a break when I was in Thailand. So Mingyu and I took our cameras to Khaosan Road in Bangkok. We filmed in our own way, edited it, and compared it. It was the same place, but it was so different. It was really meaningful and amazing that we were in the same place and we saw the same world from a completely different perspective. If Mingyu’s visual is like a music video for “Snap Shoot”, mine looks like a commercial. 

Do you have any plans to show these video works to your fans? If there’s a chance, I’m going to upload my personal videos to the SEVENTEEN channel. In a bigger picture, Mingyu and I are talking about making a music video. I’m planning to shoot a music video that’s full of art and props on the set, not just a street music video like “Snap Shoot”

Through “Debate Night,” you drew attention as a cool-headed debate host that reminds of Son Seok-hee of the past “100 Minute Debate.” It’s a debate battle structure between six members, but as a host, which member has the logic that cannot be surrendered? I mean… we don’t talk about normal topics (laughs). The person who insists completely well can win the game. Jeonghan and Woozi try to persuade them logically. I think DK and Hoshi are really good at arguing nonsense. It’s too fun watching them, so at times I think the logic is actually good.

Can you make an acrostic poem with “Heng:garae”? Sigh. We have a member who is in charge of an acrostic poem (laughs). Rather than professionally speaking, Joshua is really quick-witted. After 2 years since our debut, we only made Joshua to make an acrostic poem (laughs).

[reachexceedinggrasp]

Would love to hear about your beefs with Lucas because I have beefs with Lucas

(Sorry it took me three thousand years to answer this, anon.)

They mainly fall under a few headings, with the third being the most serious and the thing that I am genuinely irl furious about at least biannually (and feeling unable to adequately sum up The Problem with it after yelling about it so often is a huge part of why this post has been in my drafts for such a long time):

1. His self-mythologising and the subsequent uncritical repetition of his bullshit in the fandom. Obvious lies like that he had some master plan for 10 films when it’s clear he did not have anything like a plot outline at any point. We all know the thing was written at the seat of various people’s pants, it’s blatantly self-evident that’s the case. There’s also plenty of public record about how the OT was written. Even dumber, more obvious lies, like that Anakin was ‘always the protagonist’ and the entire 6 films were his story from the beginning. This is preposterous and every time someone brings it up (usually with palpable smugness) as fanboys ‘not understanding star wars’ because they don't get that ‘the OT is not Luke's story’... Yeah, I just... I cannot.

Vader wasn’t Anakin Skywalker until ESB, it’s a retcon. It’s a brilliant retcon and it works perfectly, it elevated SW into something timeless and special it otherwise would not have been, but you can tell it wasn’t the original plan and there’s proof it wasn’t the original plan. Let’s not pretend. And Luke is the protagonist. No amount of waffling about such esoteric flights of theory as ‘ring structure’ is going to get away from the rigidly orthodox narrative and the indisputable fact that it is Luke’s hero’s journey. Vader’s redemption isn’t about his character development (he has almost none) and has no basis in any kind of convincing psychological reality for his character, but it doesn’t need to be because it’s part of Luke’s arc, because Vader is entirely a foil in Luke’s story. It’s a coming-of-age myth about confronting and growing beyond the father.

All attempts to de-centre Luke in RotJ just break the OT’s narrative logic. It’s a character-driven story and the character driving is Luke. Trying to read it as Anakin’s victory, the moral culmination of his choices rather than Luke’s and putting all the agency into Anakin’s hands just destroys the trilogy’s coherence and ignores most of its content in favour of appropriating a handful of scenes into an arc existing only in the prequels. The dilemma of RotJ is how Luke will define ethical adulthood after learning and growing through two previous films worth of challenge, education, failure, and triumph; it’s his choice to love his father and throw down his sword which answers the question the entire story has been asking. Vader’s redemption and the restoration of the galaxy are the consequences of that choice which tell us what kind of world we’re in, but the major dramatic conflict was resolved by Luke’s decision not the response to it.

And, just all over, the idea of Lucas as an infallible auteur is inaccurate and annoying to me. Obviously he’s a tremendous creative force and we wouldn’t have sw without him, but he didn’t create it alone or out of whole cloth. The OT was a very collaborative effort and that’s why it’s what it is and the prequels are what they are. Speaking of which.

2. The hubris of the prequels in general and all the damage their many terrible, protected-from-editors choices do to the symbolic fabric of the sw universe. Midicholrians, Yoda fighting with a lightsabre, Obi-wan as Anakin's surrogate father instead of his peer, incoherent and unmotivated character arcs, the laundry list of serious and meaningful continuity errors, the bad storytelling, the bad direction, the bad characterisation, the shallowness of the parallels which undermine the OT’s imagery, the very clumsy and contradictory way the A/P romance was handled, the weird attitude to romance in general, it goeth on. I don’t want to re-litigate the entire PT here and I’m not going to, but they are both bad as films and bad as prequels. The main idea of them, to add Anakin’s pov and create an actual arc for him as well as to flesh out the themes of compassion and redemption, was totally appropriate. The concept works as a narrative unit, there are lots of powerful thematic elements they introduce, they have a lot of cool building blocks, it’s only in execution and detail that they do a bunch of irreparable harm.

But the constant refrain that only ageing fanboys don’t like them and they only don’t like them because of their themes or because they humanise Anakin... can we not. The shoddy film making in the prequels is an objective fact. If you want to overlook the bad parts for the good or prioritise ideas over technique, that’s fine, but don’t sit here and tell me they’re masterworks of cinema there can be no valid reason to criticise. I was the exact right age for them when I saw them, I am fully on board with the fairy tale nature of sw, I am fully on board with humanising Anakin- the prequels just have a lot of very big problems with a) their scripts and b) their direction, especially of dialogue scenes. If Lucas had acknowledged his limitations like he did back in the day instead of believing his own press, he could have again had the help he obviously needed instead of embarrassing himself.

3. Killing and suppressing the original original trilogy. I consider the fact that the actual original films are not currently available in any form, have never been available in an archival format, and have not been presented in acceptable quality since the VHS release a very troubling case study in the problems of corporate-owned art. LF seizing prints of the films whenever they are shown, destroying the in-camera negatives to make the special editions with no plans to restore them, and doing all in the company’s considerable power to suppress the original versions is something I consider an act of cultural vandalism. The OT defined a whole generation of Hollywood. It had a global impact on popular entertainment. ANH is considered so historically significant it was one of the first films added to the US Library of Congress (Lucas refused to provide even them with a print of the theatrical release, so they made their own viewable scan from the 70s copyright submission).

The fact that the films which made that impact cannot be legally accessed by the public is offensive to me. The fact that Lucas has seen fit to dub over or composite out entire performances (deleting certain actors from the films), to dramatically alter the composition of shots chosen by the original directors, to radically change the entire stylistic tone by completely reinventing the films’ colour timing in attempt to make them match the plasticy palate of the prequels, to shoot new scenes for movies he DID NOT DIRECT, add entire sequences or re-edit existing sequences to the point of being unrecognisable etc. etc. is NOT OKAY WITH ME when he insists that his versions be the ONLY ones available.

I’m okay with the Special Editions existing, though I think they’re mostly... not good... but I’m not okay with them replacing the original films. And all people can say is ‘well, they’re his movies’.

Lucas may have clear legal ownership in the capitalistic sense, but in no way does he have clear artistic ownership. Forget the fans, I’m not one of those people who argue the fans are owed something: A film is always a collaborative exercise and almost never can it be said that the end product is the ultimate responsibility and possession of one person. Even the auteur directors aren't the sole creative vision, even a triple threat like Orson Welles still had cinematographers and production designers, etc. Hundreds of artists work on films. Neither a writer nor a director (nor one person who is both) is The Artist behind a film the way a novelist is The Artist behind a novel. And Lucas did NOT write the screenplays for or direct ESB or RotJ. So in what sense does he have a moral right to alter those films from what the people primarily involved in making them deemed the final product? In what sense would he have the right to make a years-later revision the ONLY version even if he WERE the director?

Then you get into the issue of the immeasurable cultural impact those films had in their original form and the imperative to preserve something that is defining to the history of film and the state of the zeitgeist. I don't think there is any ‘fan entitlement’ involved in saying the originals belonged to the world after being part of its consciousness for decades and it is doing violence to the artistic record to try to erase the films which actually occupied that space. It's exactly like trying to replace every copy of It's a Wonderful Life with a colourised version (well, it's worse but still), and that was something Lucas himself railed against. It’s like if Michaelangelo were miraculously resuscitated and he decided to repaint the Sistine Ceiling to add a gunfight and change his style to something contemporary.

I get genuinely very upset at the cold reality that generations of people are watching sw for the first time and it’s the fucking SE-except-worse they’re seeing. And as fewer people keep physical media and the US corporate oligarchy continues to perform censorship and rewrite history on its streaming services unchecked by any kind of public welfare concerns, you’ll see more and more ‘real Mandela effect’ type shit where the cultural record has suddenly ‘always’ been in line with whatever they want it to be just now. And US media continues to infect us all with its insidious ubiquity. I think misrepresenting and censoring the past is an objectively bad thing and we can’t learn from things we pretend never happened, but apparently not many people are worried about handing the keys to our collective experience to Disney and Amazon.

4. The ‘Jedi don’t marry’ thing and how he wanted this to continue with Luke post-RotJ, so it’s obviously not meant to be part of what was wrong with the order in the prequels. I find this... incoherent on a storytelling level. The moral of the anidala story then indeed becomes just plain ‘romantic love is bad and will make you crazy’, rather than the charitable reading of the prequels which I ascribe to, which is that the problem isn’t Anakin’s love for Padmé, it’s that he ceased to love her and began to covet her. And I can’t help but feel this attitude is maybe an expression of GL’s issues with women following his divorce. I don’t remember if there’s evidence to contradict that take, since it’s been some time since I read about this but yeah. ANH absolutely does sow seeds for possible Luke/Leia development and GL was still married while working on that film. Subsequently he was dead set against Luke ever having a relationship and decided Jedi could not marry. Coincidence?

There’s a lot of blinking red ‘issues with women’ warning signs all over Lucas’s work, but the prequels are really... egregious.

[flyandfamousblackgirls]

RASHIDA RENEÉ WANTS YOU TO KNOW YOUR HISTORY by  Alexis Rene Moten (Culture Jock)

Let’s start this article with a quiz: Name a Black model from the 1990’s that isn’t Naomi Campbell or Tyra Banks?

Stumped? It’s safe to say that if the question were asked to name a White model that wasn’t Kate Moss or Cyndi Crawford, best case scenario you would’ve excelled with a list to provide. Maybe something like: Linda Evangelista, Claudia Schiffer, Christy Turlington, Shalom Harlow, Carla Bruni, Heidi Klum..you get my point.

At times, Pop Culture can be a fair-weather friend. Monday’s It-girl becomes Friday’s nobody and by Sunday there’s a new hot thing in town to get all the girls in a fuss. But as nostalgia-trends rises as capitalism’s newest enterprise, endorsed largely by social media app, Instagram, history is being retold by the agenda of it’s curator. The selective hearing of  Instagram accounts like @90scelebvibes (391K followers) and @90sanxiety (793K followers) present a facade that the past was rather beige, leaving largely out the credit due to the Black and people of color creatives that developed and inspired the trends imitated today.

Bay area based, Fashion archivist Rashida Reneé, takes on self-love to a familial level celebrating her love and the appreciation of Black designers, models and other fashion industry influencers that otherwise go forgotten in our modern culture. In fashion, as in anything else, things old become anew. However, Reneé takes on the responsibility as a trend gatekeeper, providing evidence of what fashion used to be and recognizing the faces we longed forgotten.  

Q: Name a Black model from the 1990’s that isn’t Naomi Campbell or Tyra Banks?

A: Beverly Peele,  Gail O’Neill, Iman, Kara, Young, Karen Alexander,  Louise Vyent, Roshumba, Veronica Webb, etc.

Culture Jock: What is a typical day for the most hated hoe in the city?

RR: (laughs) It’s weird, I kind of like to keep it to myself. Keep track of what I like and my thoughts. I don’t know. I'm very low-key person in real life, but when I do leave the house (pauses) I do, I promise! I just like my personal time, but when it’s time to be out I am present, as much as possible. I do what I do becauseII like giving information to people and give them links and information just so they know.

CJ: What brought you into fashion archiving?

RR: My whole archiving process was originally for myself and filling in spots of information where there it was empty of black people. Of course, there is street fashion, but in terms of online fashion, sites like Manrepeller, you didn’t see a lot of black girls doing it and the people doing it I thought were lame. Finding other black people who weren’t anti-black in those kind of spaces. I felt a lot of people were trying to make us to assimilate. Everyone was kind of like doing the same things and it was like, ‘Naomi Campbell!’ But if it were any other dark girl it didn’t matter. So, I started my own blog and then I had to stop myself from posting Naomi Campbell’s photos too. I would do one picture of Naomi Campbell a day and try to really give props to other black woman involved and black people in general. When I was younger I was familiar with the other models not just Naomi Campbell, my mom was really in it with Naomi. She worked in a beauty salon, which had magazines of all the models. Like, black hair magazines, they always listed the models so, no matter what you knew who they were. Whoever it was in the 90s, ‘this is who that is and this who that is.’ You’d see the oldest Destiny Child’s video shoots in black hair magazines. I just haven’t seen other people doing that. There are other girls now that focus more on Hip Hop in 90s and 2000s. Livejournal, fashion spot, Tumblr, people didn’t go out of their way to scan the black models or even try to name them. It’s funny, people online, they don’t even try to hide their biases. No one was really fashion blogging the way I like or how I see .

CJ:In your piece for Office Magazine you mention, from Patrick Kelley to today’s influence of Dapper Dan, American culture from its roots drips of Black influence and culture. Why do you think Black culture is so immutable and where do you see the ownership of our creations.

RR: People I mean know, it’s just like, it’s weird and odd to even talk about. Not just people referencing me or copying, I feel like I am being gaslit all the time or being told that. People love stealing from black people. People love stealing from black people. People love stealing from black people and lying about it. People hate black people but they think we are cool. I can’t even (pauses)yeah it’s very weird. The twitter thing is weird (sighs).

CJ: It is weird.

RR: (sighs) It’s not really helping them. It’s boring to live with no personality. To see someone interesting and steal from them to bolster themselves. [On social media] we have the means to share with each other, like, moments that are of shared experiences of oppression and that is even imitated. I don’t know why the copy of things are okay. It is such a multi-layered thing. Or the way the Stans talk like mainly the Black queer and Black trans talk and how all of that is now being used by everyone. Ariana Grande, ya know, icons talk like girls on the ballrooms did back in 2006. Parodying things. It helps them develop their own brand, I don’t understand their fascination with us anyway. I’m into my own shit and own culture. I like the way black people express themselves and other people use us and what we do to talk to each other or communicate and then take that to feel cool. I’ve always been,like, ‘why would someone want to be like this?’ or pretend. I don’t get it. People run out of content. I know people used to make fun of me and the things I used to be and ironically they are into it now. People need to find their own hobbies. They are bored.

CJ: The internet is complex. It’s a parody of itself.

RR: Knowing your history is important. You need to know where you came from to know where you are going. When it comes to fashion archives the question is, ‘what is it that you are looking for or trying to highlight?’ My concern is that fashion archiving is feeding into nostalgic trends, where it’s easier to mimic what was done before rather then create new moments. Do you share the same sentiments?

CJ: What is it about fashion that excites you?

RR: It’s so fun and so funny. The dolls are taking over. That’s how most things go, the things that happened come back with a hyper focus. It really is going full out now. It’s interesting to see how people are dressing now. [Fashion] is always reflective of the political climate. Think about the 80s everyone is dressing like a dickhead. Then when people got sick of dressing like a dickhead, minimalism comes in. We cycle through trends so fast, today. I remember a girl wearing a hair clips and no one was into it. Then the next week everyone was wearing them, then I see Cyndi Lauper in an interview wearing hair clips. She’s like 50-something and she’s wearing hair clips made out of Swarovski crystals. It’s so interesting. It’s funny how it happens. Now everyone is into fashion.

CJ: Who are your biggest fashion influences ?

RR: My biggest influences are Naomi Campbell and my mom. Girls I follow on the internet. My mom is from San Francisco lives her own life and is very eclectic. I get a lot from her and different taste. Foxy Brown is also very inspiring, I reference her a lot I think about her and Steven Miesel. Steven knows how to do everything. Steven can do everything. Everyone knows I am a crazy Beyoncé fan. But, I have different girls for different moods. My main inspo is Naomi and Foxy Brown. I really gravitated to Foxy because she was more into Prada and Chloe when Stella McCartney was there. Because of Foxy I love Chloe. She was very cool. Naomi is, you just aspire to that level of greatness. There is no one else. Even in her flaws she handles them so well. I can’t imagine someone else with that kind of rap sheet to not get fully canceled. I judge people by how they react to criticism. She handles it really well. I find that really inspiring.

CJ: What film or television do you think has the best fashion catalog? If you could what character's closet would you love to raid?

RR: I am so frazzled. There’s so much stuff I like. I write things down specifically, because I can never remember. I watched The Nanny last year with Fran Drescher, when I was really depressed and was like, ‘Wow this is inspiring.’ Brenda Cooper, her mind. Everyone had a look in. Pose, is another one. Everything has intentions from the main characters to the background characters. I really like the first season of costume design. It’s commitment to that era. Someone is always dressed like, Karen White or Jodi Whitley. Elektra is very dynasty, that high lady energy. I love that about the show. I love Glow, the costume designer, Beth Morgan. I love when people do era shows, specifically the 80s and they don’t try to soften it, especially in makeup or hair. They aren’t scared to embrace the ugliness, I love that. That’s what good costume design is about. High fashion is easy, but what really gets me is watching old movies and looking at the clothes.  

CJ: We are moving into a new decade of 2020. I have a feeling it may be the year of 2020 vision and final clarity. What are your aspirations for this new era and what do you hope to see from the world?

RR: I feel like the children are our future. That’s what I’m looking at, to see what the kids are into. People are more focused into what they look like and I remember if someone dressed a little bit out of fashion it was a huge deal and get talked about. But now they are embracing their weirdness and experimenting. Do you watch that Tik Tok stuff? I just want a regular life. Happy, healthy, all my kids are happy and healthy. When I move to [Los Angeles] and get hotter, hotter and I want to  become, what is that called, a wellness person? I want a Goop moment, but with Solange aesthetics. Maybe make a propaganda film to get people to stop wearing wigs.

[knowledgeatbargainprices]

I got a new camera, and it's a bit of a rare one. TLRs with a 2.8 aperture seemed to be confined to expensive Rolleiflexes and big, bulky Mamiya C's. Enter the Olympus Flex, which started as Japanese Rolleiflex copies with their earlier models. These boasted 6 element lenses, but unfortunately seemed prone to fungus and other issues. Later, models have a Zuiko lens of Olympus' own inspiration though, and that's the one that I have. Since it's a new camera, I figured I'd put in a burner roll of film to make sure everything works.

My local camera shop had Holga 400 for $5.99, which is a couple bucks cheaper than even Ilford HP5+, which runs close to 7, so I figured Holga 400 is the same stuff as Fomapan, a nice standard black and white film which ought to play nice with Caffenol.

But no.

The film base was soooo dark and the results are chock full of grain. At first I thought the darkness was fog from underfixing, so I tried fixing again but to no avail. Maybe a 15 minute development time is too much.

I was still able to scan a good amount of information though, the histogram wasn't crushed like it was when I tried to push HP5+. I just feel like my scanner wasn't able to blast the back light through to the camera. I'm also trying a new scanning setup with a plane of glass on the bed instead of the stock Epson holder.

On the camera side, unlike the Autocord, this camera cocks the shutter and advances film separately. The result is that I sometimes forget to advance the film, and I get double (triple?) exposures like this. Towards the end of the roll I got used to advancing film right after I take a shot, and cocking the shutter right before I take the shot, so hopefully I can get used to that.

This roll kinda feels like a failure because I wanted to test the camera, and while I know the shutter speeds are decently accurate and there aren't any light leaks, I wasn't able to ascertain the true quality of the lens because of a 1. new film in 2. a crappy development which lead to 3. scanning challenges. Don't know if I should get a roll of HP5+ and try with that, get another roll of Holga, shoot the roll of Bergger Pancro I had also picked up, or shoot one of the color rolls and pay more to get it developed since I don't have color chemicals mixed right now.