#this was not meant to be suggestive but just in case someone does not want to see thigh

[queers-gambit]

Menace

prompt: ( request that i accidentally deleted ) in essence, "drabble about Tangerine going to the bathroom and texting Reader 'come here'."

pairing: Tangerine x female!reader

fandom masterlist: Bullet Train

word count: 4.4k+

warnings: cursing, OC!Tangerine, we talk mental health (social anxiety), established relationship, busy public work settings, the request and then some, alcohol consumption, smut, bathroom sex at a work event (Cherry, what the fuck?), handguns and mild depiction of violence 'cause it's Tangerine, i give him a 'real' name (Aaron), not edited.

"This is such bullshit, sugar, c'mon, fuck are we doin' here?" Tangerine snipped in your ear, his arm curled protectively around your waist as he glared at those in rich suits and expensive colognes around him. "We don't belong 'round this lot, they're just here t'wave their money. There's no real reason for us bein' here, sweet girl, c'mon, let's just shove off. Better than chokin' on whatever this lot's wearin' - I mean, Christ Alive, smells like a bloody Bloomingdales, don't it?"

You smiled prettily in case of watchful eyes, telling him sternly in a sweet tone, "Lovie, I told you, my boss said we were needed for at least cocktail hour. We can leave before dinner, okay?"

"This is gonna last fuckin' hours, princess, c'mon, we should just go," he grumbled. "Fuck these people and these bullshit fundraisers."

"We'll be okay, I promise," you soothed sweetly, the honest opposite of Tangerine - leaning in to press a soft kiss to his cheek. You were constantly touching one another and early in your relationship, you realized how much you loved kissing him and completely forewent lipsticks or glosses because of it. Another peck and you told him in a soft tone, "C'mon, just remember we said we'd pick up Changs on our way home and there's that bottle of nice Merlot A - I mean, Lemon gave us," you almost used your boyfriend's brother's real name, but caught yourself with plenty of time.

"Hmm," he smirked, his favorite takeout place being a happy distraction. "Cheat day sounds nice, yeah, but still don't make this go any faster, now does it?"

"No, but we're not gonna be here forever," you soothed, turning into his chest to pet the expensive material of this navy three-piece suit. "You look so handsome, my love. Really love seein' you in navy suits, and the white button up looks really clean with it." Tangerine smiled down at you, the bustle around you melting away as he could only hear, see, smell, feel, and focus on you. Then, you spoke coyly as you fixed his tie, "If you behave the rest of the night, I promise I'll make it up t'you. Yeah? Maybe wear that li'l white thing you love?" He perked up, but before he could respond, you ended, "Or maybe I already have it on - anyways, so, listen t'me, I have to go talk t'some people and do the job that pays me, so I suggest you just take a deep breath; get another drink, find Lemon, and then we'll go soon, okay?"

He looked around the usual investors his private employer had to shmooze for donated funding and frowned when he was acutely aware of not just the sheer number, but how many "important" people attended the evening's gala. The Black Market was funded by multiple someones; most of whom were in this very room and while under the radar, it still made Tangerine feel as if a huge target was painted on the building's wall. There was always a need for services outside the law and these richie-riches couldn't take the money with them to the grave, so, they donated money if it meant they were "well taken care of".

The Twins' handler insisted they attend the gala tonight; being well aware that they were more like show ponies for being on display for investors to see. Putting a face to names made myth into reality, and your boyfriend was a hot commodity due to his skill as a contract killer. He and his brother were legends around the various active agencies, investors happy to see their money going to good use; all wanting to know what they had bought for a price-tag of several billion.

The common conversation of the evening was how readily available The Organization was able to offer their services with no questions asked, no matter what. Tan hated these events, feeling nauseated, overstimulated, overwhelmed; overall, exploited by his employer as attendees gossiped about the Bolivia Job, the Kyoto Crash, the Libyan Disaster, and a few other memorable jobs Tan and Lemon were involved in. Their beady little eyes followed him around, mouths hidden behind crystal flutes of champagne, and bodies always shied away from him as if he were a wild beast.

Sure, they pay to sit and gather in the arena, but flee when the raging bull they've helped antagonize gets loose.

Then you came along and took on the brunt end of these social events. Tan was never quite sure how you got involved in this life, you always giving a new answer, but knew you had gone to university for multiple degrees - one being in something called "communications". Now, if you had asked Tan a few years ago, he'd've said that was a bullshit job, bullshit degree, a total waste of time. Now that his popularity had grown and he was exposed to more social obligations, he was was beyond grateful to have someone navigate this with him. Tangerine's bad attitude most of the time was just a deflection, being why you and Lemon could handle him; knowing the lad's anxiety often choked him past logic and made him a sarcastic, violent cunt.

When Tangerine forced himself back to reality after glaring at the other warm bodies mingling around, Tangerine's arm contracted tight enough that he could bring you in for a quick kiss. Quietly, he muttered in your ear, "I'll give you half an hour, darling, no more."

"No less," your eyes rolled but your lips were spread in a grin. He chuckled and softened his expression; whoever might've been watching feeling something akin to shock and awe (like one felt when they saw a lion in person for the first time), knowing Tangerine was a horribly stoic, violent, and short-tempered man. To see him now, amused and soft with such a beauty of a woman - well, it was jarring. He was still known to be an asshole, but it seemed you had a stronger leash on Tangerine than his handler ever did. But perhaps, no stronger than Lemon.

"Right," Tan sighed. "What was first on your list fa' me t'do?"

"You're gonna take a deep breath, get another drink, and then find Lemon," you repeated softly, "but I'm gonna say you owe me a kiss before that drink."

Tan huffed.

"That wasn't a deep breath, Tan, c'mon, we've been over this," you mock glared, feeling both his hands secure to your hips. He pet the expensive silk you wore with his thumbs, the pocket square resting over his heart a tailored square of the same material.

"Sweetheart - "

"In through your nose, out through your mouth, Tan," you cut him off. "Together, I'll do it with you, c'mon. In..."

Tangerine adjusted his stance in those shining Italian leather shoes you gifted him for Christmas that year. He took a steady breath in through his nose when you did, watching for your subtle nod, then exhaling slowly through his mouth - when you did. Again, together, in through the nose, your nod after about seven seconds, then exhaled through the mouth. After one more, you smiled at him in encouragement, both hands splayed on his lapels; his own moving so they coiled around you.

"All right," he grumbled, "yeah, it helps, pretty girl."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, yeah."

"Feel better?"

"Don't push it, plum," he mumbled, bringing you in closer so he could kiss the hinge of your jaw, just below your ear while stroking your spine with his fingertips. "Thank you," he whispered, mustache tickling your skin, "always know how t'get me out me head, don't'cha?"

"I try, but you don't always make it easy, you know?" You rolled your bottom lip between your teeth to smother your grin, leaning into his chest. "Kiss me, please, then go get a drink and find Lemon. Don't talk to the investors," you warned, adding, "please."

This made a mischievous smirk spread across his lips, "Awe, hey, c'mon, aren't they here t'see me? I can say hello. You won't even 'ave'ta introduce me, they'll know me."

"Okay, yes, they're here t'see the lot of yah, but they're not here to get yelled at, yeah? Or called cunts? Insulted in any manner?" You sang in a light tone; caressing his cheek to guide him to your lips for a long desired kiss. The hand on his cheek curled around to grip the back of his neck, gently tugging the neat strands of hair as you tried to convey your pride.

Social anxiety was a bitch and though he'd deny it vehemently, Tan was riddled with it. Seeing him endure this evening (despite the constant complaining) was a mighty feat, wanting your kiss to spark something in his gut that would cause his confidence to soar so it'd put a bit of "pep in his step" to get through the rest of the evening.

And boy, did it.

After parting ways, Tangerine was left to get his drink with a full-chub that made him shake both legs out in an attempt to hide his arousal. Yet as he watched you melt seamlessly into the crowd, he couldn't get the picture out of his mind that maybe you were wearing that white thing he liked. Tan leaned on the bar top, cock stirring to life with each passing second; watching you mingle and mix and shmooze investors and wanting nothing more than to interrupt and get you alone. With his drink, he located Lemon, trying to forget the way his cock was begging for attention while you worked your magic on these walking-talking-money-bags.

"All right, bruv?" Lemon asked, the two standing with a few other agents that were wrangled in for the event.

"Hmm?"

Lemon glared, then snickered to himself. "Oh, fuck me, mate, you're fucked, aren't you?"

"Come off it," Tan took another slug from the expensive whiskey glass. "'S only me second."

Lemon blinked in shock, "That's not possible. You hate these fancy things, you don't like bein' sober at'em."

"I've been distracted."

"No shit, 'cause your lady's here, gotta be on your best behavior, don't yah?" Lemon snickered, sighing as he shook his head and accepted the champagne being passed around by a waiter with a full tray. "But enough that you ain't been drinkin'? Yeah, right - oh, shit, wait," he beamed, "didn't Y/N get that administrative promotion? It's that, ain't it? Ho-ho!" He laughed, "Yeah? Don't tell me you've been her arm candy all night, mate?"

"We've been tucked away, actually," Tan admitted, missing the way Lemon blinked in shock 'cause he was searching for you in the deepening crowd. "She knows I don't like these things, right, so, we stood away from 'em all, ova there," he pointed off to where Lemon knew was roped off for VIPs. "We were just talkin', laughin'. She makes these shitty li'l jokes, you know? Kept us more entertained than the rest of these fucks," Tangerine chuckled, hand hiding his grin of amusement as he wiped around his mouth to play it off.

This made Lemon nod with impression, "Yeah?"

"Yeah, but," Tan sniffled, "duty calls, she's gotta work a bit, get some donations goin'. Apparently, I'm not allowed t'talk t'the fancy donors."

Lemon checked his watch, "Fair enough, you did punch that Sultan - "

"Oh, come the fuck off it, that was three years ago! He was fine."

"You broke his nose, mate. You want another?"

Tangerine skulled the last of his drink, shaking his head. "Nah, I'm good, mate. Might be time t'go soon."

"I'll leave when you two do, wouldn't wanna be stuck here alone," Lemon agreed, the two turning away to stand at a cocktail table together and away from the others. "This is why we don't work inna office, this lot - Jesus, fuck. Oh, shit, oi, mate, you seen who all's here tonight? Fuck's sake..."

"Yeah, mate, I've seen 'em all, but there's too many t'know who the fuck you mean specifically." He pulled his phone out as Lemon rumbled on in excited impression about the evening's guests to send you a quick text,

wrap it up, pretty girl. i got things i wanna do to you that ain't for others to see unless they pay.

He could see you from where he and Lemon stood; and when your phone chimed, you checked it almost instantly, smiling at the message. He waited for your rapid reply,

if my panties had a crotch, they'd be soaked. love you in blue 💙

That was enough for Tangerine, who nodded at his brother, "Gimme a minute, yeah? Gonna pop off t'the loo before we go. Have another," he pointed to the drink in Lemon's hand as he backed away, "but not that frilly shit, mate, have a real fuckin' drink. Oi!" He snapped his fingers at a passing waitress, "Sorry, sweetheart, yeah, my bruva, there," he pointed at Lemon, who waved awkwardly, "will take a double whiskey, on the rocks, yeah, and he likes them lemon twists. That somethin' you can grab for him, love?"

"Absolutely," she nodded, high-strung ponytail swishing.

Tangerine snickered lightly, shelling out a hefty tip that she accepted, "And bring him a Lemon Drop shot, too, please."

"Anything else, sir?"

"Ah, if you'd like, maybe your number for him, too?" Tan instigated, hearing Lemon groan and grumble in embarrassment. "My bruva, there, he's bloody golden, yeah? Can't do no better, man just has no flaws - less we count tha' he's a wee bit shy, innit? Pretty ladies intimidate him a bit, but he's the bravest man I fuckin' know. Just gotta warm 'im up a bit, don't'cha know?"

"He sounds like a real gentleman. But maybe I can give mine if you give your number to my friend?" The waitress countered, pointing towards the central bar that the servers operated out of. There was a decently pretty girl with dark hair, twiddling her fingers at them with a pearly grin. "She's sweet, kind, absolutely wild in bed - "

"Sounds like an even deal, sweets, but you see - I've got a woman, yeah? And my lady? Well, she's kinda one of your bosses tonight, so, uh, might not be a good idea now, would it? She gets all territorial, protective, likes what's hers t'be just hers - ain't real big on sharin'." The waitress flushed in embarrassment. "But my bruva, here," Tan pointed back at Lemon while unlocking his phone, "he's a fuckin' don, yeah? Ain't nobody gonna treat cha' t'a better night. Oi, hey, I'll be back, bruv," he called to Lem with a smirk, then reminded the waitress, "double whiskey, lemon twist, on the rocks. And that Lemon Drop, please."

"Of course, sir, right on it," she agreed, Tangerine finally backing away fully. He typed you a new message,

meet me in the bathroom right now

Inside, it was decently spacious; unisex, six stalls, made of pristine marble, veiled fluorescent lighting, and there was a lock on the door - which Tan cared most about.

He planted himself behind the two other men at the walled-off urinals, hands clasping together in front of him. "Right, then, you two," he gestured between them, "got 'bout 30 seconds to finish yourselves and get the fuck outta here." He pulled the usual gun from his waistband, threatening, "Or I'll give you fuckin' fucks a show 'bout all them stories you love whisperin' 'bout. Yeah? How's that? Hey? Thirty! Twenty-nine! Twenty-eight!"

They were barely zipped up and gone by the time Tangerine got to second 21; you entering right as the two were scurrying for the swinging-open door. You yelped a little, jumping out of their way, offering Tangerine a strange look and musing, "Uh, what was that? You fightin' in the privy, again?"

He put his handgun away as he stalked towards you, "Just makin' sure we wouldn't be interrupted."

"Tan, hell no, there's so many people!"

He yanked you from the doorway, making sure it was shut before locking it loudly. "Then we gotta be quick, don't we? C'mon, doll, real fast, bosses won't even question you bein' gone."

"I still have work - "

"Nah, nah," he pawed your gown's skirts upward, "you been teasin' me all fuckin' night, lookin' too fuckin' good - I can't wait, baby. Just look so Goddamn pretty, feels like I'm losin' my mind. Lemme see yah," he got the silk bunched around your waist, gasping loudly when he saw your panties. "You really did wear 'em... Like the good girl you are," he purred, one hand dropping the silk to run his hand over the strappy and lacy material you wore. "Swear I'll take my time with yah at home, the way I want - but can't do that here, just needa be inside yah, sugar, c'mere."

"Baby," you gasped when his fingertips ghosted around your cunt that was bare due to the crotchless cutout. "I only need a-a-a," you trailed off, panting when one finger suddenly plunged into your cunt, "ohhh, shiiiit. Yes, baby, oh, God!"

"Keep talkin'," He smirked, backing you up towards the marble counter. "C'mon, tell me off. Tell me what's more important right now, huh? More important than this? Is it work? Huh? Work got you distracted? Wanna get back t'it instead of bein' here with me?" The heels of your palms slammed into the pristine counter, whimpering when he pumped erratically. "Aht, here you go," he smirked, pausing to pull his hand free of your warmth; seizing your waist and helping hoist you back onto the sink's ledge. Your lips meshed sloppily with his, Tan letting you dominate the kiss because you were mewling - so desperate for him, you were nearly suckling on him; hands trembling as they held his cheeks with your manicured fingertips. When your legs instantly spread to accommodate Tangerine's hulking form, grinding your hips into him, he seethed, "Good girl," before sinking his digit back into your wet heat that halted your ministrations out of pure relieving pleasure.

"You're a menace," you panted against his mouth when you remembered reality, Tangerine's belt rattling open and his zipper teeth shrieking when you shucked them open. "Gimme," you whispered, reaching for him; dropping his pants the rest of the way to take his pulsing cock in hand. "This what you wanted? Right? Why you texted me? Interrupted me?"

"Exactly," he licked his lips before smashing them to yours in a suffocating kiss, always the one to help you push boundaries and do things you never thought you'd ever do if not for him. "Why're you so wet? Huh? Why's that? Had this on your mind, too, didn't'cha, dirty girl? Why else would you wear my favorite?"

"'T reward you for tonight," you panted, giving his cock a few pumps. "'S my scene, not yours, just so fucking proud of yah - for how you did, gettin' through it," you guided him to your weeping entrance after pushing his hand from you, both gasping when his cockhead notched on the lip of your cunt. "Yes, yes, yes, yes," you chanted, praising him as he sunk his hips into your own; effectively blurring your mind.

He grunted, needing a single moment to press his balls between you two as he waited for you to accommodate to his size. Forehead to forehead, your eyes remained shut; breathing the same air, feeling your insides fluttering at the size of him. His mouth was at your ear, demanding, "Tell me again, pretty girl."

You knew what he wanted, letting your legs spread a little wider and held onto his shoulders since this position didn't allow for much else. You whimpered, "You did so good tonight, baby. Oh, fuck, I'm so proud of you - you did so fuckin' good." He groaned and retracted his hips, beginning a brutal pace and messy rhythm to pump himself in deep strokes. You had to hold onto his upper arms now to allow him space to move. "Always so good for me, but tonight? Fuck - you're so good, Aaron. So fucking good - and tonight you were fucking amazing. I'm so proud, so fucking proud of you," you whimpered, his hands holding your hips so the counter could pose as leverage to allow him the angle to pound up into you while shifting you down on him.

"Almost there, baby," he begged, eyes all over. He loved the sight of your 'panties' still on; the criss-crossing of the straps and pattern of the lace still in place while his cock made a mess of you. Your gown glittered in this light, your skin tacky with a thin layer of sweat from your arousal that made him dip low and lick a bold stripe between your breasts. "Lemme see - lemme get a taste, doll, want you in my mouth," he muttered against your cleavage, still holding you on his cock as you pulled a tit free. You gave a shrill yelp when Tangerine surged forward suddenly and bit harshly on your budding, sensitive nipple; but it was in-sync with him changing the pace of his thrusting to something borderline painful.

It wasn't a secret he was well-endowed, there wasn't much to the imagination with the way his suits are tailored.

But having ten(plus) inches; fully swollen, engorged, jackhammering into you at this angle? It wasn't the most pleasurable at first, but with Tan licking, nipping, and sucking at both nipples now, you endured until moaning authentically. You were all but hanging off the counter by now, Tan the only reason you weren't on the floor; using upper body strength to hold onto him while slithering a hand toy your stomach to toy with your enlarged clit.

It took very little time of harsh pressure from your fingers to come undone, pleasure mounting to a crescendo before shattering your grip to reality. With a gasp, your hips humped into Tan's by your own blinding vocation; arms tight around his shoulders to remain upright as you milked yourself.

The contraction of your cunt was all Tangerine needed, and four slaps of his balls later had him doubling over and pinning you in a small slam, chest-to-chest, to the marble.

"Oh, my fuckin' God," you panted in appreciation.

"Shit," he realized, "shit, fuck, did I hurt you? Fuck - baby - "

"I'm not hurt," you panted, keeping a tight hold to refuse him from standing up, "just happy."

He deflated with a small chuckle. In your neck, he mumbled, "I can't feel my legs."

"Wanna sit?"

"Nah, not here," he mused, licking the sweaty skin of your pulse point. "Just had t'wear the li'l white ones, didn't'cha?"

"You get all worked up when I do."

"With good reason, should see yourself the way that I do - Goddamn, doll. My girl's divine, too good for these fuckers out here."

You were about to retort, but there was a loud, rapid banging at the locked door. "Hey! Hey! Whoever's in there! There's people that need in, you fucking arseholes! Get your dick wet at your own place, you broke bitches!"

You gasped and slapped a hand over your mouth as Tangerine finally stood off you, keeping you balanced on the counter as you sat up. "Oh, my fucking God, Tan! I-I-I-I'm gonna get fired! Oh, holy shit! This isn't happening!"

"No - "

"Aaron, we were literally just caught - "

"Hey, hey, just breathe," he paused, sighing as he caressed your cheek. "Let me handle this for us, okay? The way you protect me, let me protect you. Yeah?"

You nodded mutely, looking ready to burst into tears. After Tan pulled out and helped you clean up (ignoring the warm cum that dripped down your inner thighs), he simply wrapped you in his navy suit jacket, rolled up his crisp white sleeves, and pulled out his handgun. "Oh, baby, don't - "

"Trust me," he purred, arm secure around your waist. "Oh... Shit, hang on," he set the gun down to use his hands and fix your hair, your heart soaring by the sweet, domestic gesture. "I got'cha, pretty girl, one sec - there we go, yeah," he smirked, looking proud of himself. "Yeah, all right, there we go," he cupped your cheeks, "all perfect."

"Thank you," you whispered.

"Now, we're gonna walk out with confidence. Just don't stop, don't look at anyone. Actually, look a li'l smug," he instructed. "And we're just gonna grab Lemon and get outta here, yeah?"

You pouted lightly, "After I get the O-K from my boss."

"Nah, we don't ask permission, just forgiveness."

"Terrible philosophy."

"I prefer effective. Ready?" He asked, picking his gun up again. You nodded, latching onto him as his arm secured around you again, then approached the door. He unlocked it loudly and yanked it open, glare instantly taking over his expression as you were met with a gaggle of angry, grumbling patrons. "We got a fuckin' problem?" Tangerine sneered, his gun winking in the dim lighting; those who were waiting instantly backing off.

You did as he advised: didn't look at anyone, didn't stop, looked a little smug. He lead you through the throng of people, hearing a woman sneer under her breath - gasping when Tan turned his gun on her. "Tangerine!" You snapped, the people around you all freezing.

"Got somethin' t'say?" He taunted the woman, who shook her head. "No? You sure? Now?" He asked, shifting the weapon over to her date's forehead. She shook her head again. This made Tan smirk, "Jealousy ain't pretty on anyone, love. Keep your fuckin' mouth shut."

"Let's go, now," you insisted, tugging on his unbuttoned waistcoat to walk away together. "Can't shoot everyone who offers insult."

"No, but word will spread," he smirked. "Ain't nobody gonna say a fuckin' word to yah now. And if they do," he shrugged, "you'll tell me. All right, now, uh," he paused you both, nodding ahead, "that's a bit of my doin'. Question is, do we interrupt?"

You peered around a person or two until Lemon and a pretty waitress was in sight. She was giggling and grinning, the two deep in conversation; just enraptured and toying with each other's hands.

"We should probably let him know we're leaving. Maybe text him?"

"So, we are leaving, huh?" Tan smirked. "No more precious work to go run off to?"

Your lips moved beside his ear, licking the shell before speaking so your cool breath fanned over the wet skin, "I can't work with your cum leakin'."

His hand groped your arse cheek tightly, "If you do, I promise t'make yah my li'l Twinkie, huh? Fuck you all night, like you deserve."

"Oh, now you wanna stay? You fuckin' serious?"

"Yeah, but, now it's a game."

"You're a fucking menace!"

requesting rules and masterlist

Bullet Train masterlist

[therantingsage]

Because I promised this, and I really wanted to do it anyway, here's a really really long-winded rambling dissertation on:

Why N and Uzi secretly dating since before episode 5 is genuinely super plausible and also stupidly hilarious /pos

Under the cut cuz it got obscenely long oops-

Idk where to start, so I'll just cover my bases: why people think they've been in a relationship already in the first place.

We all saw this scene:

And legit it can only be implying one of two things. Either A: this is his confession of feelings for her. Or B: this is him admitting that they've been dating for a while at this point. With the hearts it's pretty clear that this statement is meant to be romantically interpreted, and Nori's aghast reaction confirms that that's how it's being interpreted.

Obviously no matter the interpretation, N only writes that because he can't think of anything else to snap Uzi out of it and thereby stop this confrontation from ending poorly. And it works obviously so good on him for the quick thinking.

Two things that make me lean towards the 'we're dating' interpretation over 'confession' interpretation, though: firstly, he's not writing this to tell Uzi something, he specifically calls out to Nori before writing it. "Hey btw I'm dating your daughter" makes more sense than "Hey btw I like your daughter romantically" because if it was the latter, Nori has far less reason to be mad at Uzi about it rather than N. It's not like Uzi can control how N feels. But if they're dating, that means Uzi is partially to blame for that and Nori can get upset at HER.

Secondly, the awkward wording. Like it's really vague and without the hearts you'd have no reason to assume anything but platonic meaning. But these are words we, and him, have heard before:

...from Uzi, in response to a question about who she is and, by proxy, the nature of their relationship. She says it defensively, follows it up by telling N to shut up. N repeating her wording which, again, is a description of the nature of their relationship....but this time implying something romantic with it, it suggests the idea that it had romantic implications the first time.

I don't think it's far-fetched to say Uzi at least has feelings for N at this point in the story. I don't think anyone's arguing that that's not true. But the idea that 'hang out' means the exact same thing both times is what I'm arguing here. They're dating, but this version of N is a stranger to her. A cute stranger, as she says, but a stranger nonetheless who she isn't comfortable admitting to that she's dating him in the future to his face.

Backing up a bit, Uzi's reaction to Nori's reaction:

This is a clear and obvious parallel to the previous episode, when 'Tessa' says "Don't date my robot, please."

In both instances, someone gets on her case about the idea of them dating, and in both cases she doesn't deny it but instead defends both his and her own agency in the matter. No one is allowed to tell them what to do and Uzi refuses to let anyone try.

When Nori says it, though, she does seem to try and deny it for a moment. "I'm not-" She cuts herself off so we can't say for certain what she was going to say (if anything. it's entirely possible she started that sentence with no plan how to finish it, I do that a lot personally). But that's also because, like, she's Uzi. If this was meant to be a secret relationship, it would probably be her who made that decision. And like with butler N, she has no reason to disclose that kind of information to a stranger. She'd probably try and deny it whether its true or not.

As for when it would've started, after camp is the only big timeskip where we don't have much clue went on during. Cabin Fever is a big episode for them, and the three episodes that come after it are all back-to-back-to-back. The only time it makes sense to have started is sometime between eps 4 and 5.

And guys. Guys.

This, more than anything to me, paired with the idea that they've been dating for a while by the time the most recent couple episodes happen.....doesn't this seem so, so romantic? You could easily call this a love confession! So easily! It sounds like one much more than 'we just kinda are hanging out a lot idk' at least.

Like, rephrase that even a little: "Being with you makes scary things fun. Being with you makes me feel brave. It makes me feel safe. So I want to keep being with you."

And Uzi agrees with that sentiment. He promises to stick with her. And she laughs and smiles with him as he makes the scary thing she's been dealing with into something fun, something they can laugh about. The together line gets repeated in the most recent episode, directly calling back to this scene as well.

Like, just...AGH. In Cabin Fever he says it once as they're falling and a second time once they're grounded. The second time its a question, and one she eagerly answers with physical affection, which is super rare for her. In Mass Destruction its a statement, because he already knows her answer. Its a repeated promise. A vow.

Backing up again. Let's assess some interactions under this context. Assuming they're dating in secret. Because it paints so many things in a different light and basically nothing contradicts it which is fricken wild. This:

Isn't a sheepish Uzi trying to hold her crush's hand in a moment of fear. This is an Uzi who wants to keep their relationship a secret but is so in need of comfort right now she's willing to risk exposing them to get it.

This:

Her being so relieved because she almost watched him die but he's alive he's ok and she doesn't care who sees it because she needs to hug her boyfriend rIGHT NOW GUYS I DON'T CARE I'M HUGGING MY BOYFRIEND-

This whole scene. Uzi interacts with him so gently here. She's not gentle with anybody else at all. She sees him stressed and uses his own "you good?" on him and it's just so dang tender when you think about it. Because no one else can hear them talking to each other. It's just these two sending face texts and everyone else's focus is on the Sentinal so they can afford to be as couple-y in this conversation as they want.

And after:

Blushing because they like each other so so dang much.......sweating bullets because the other two can see them do this. Suddenly without either of them really thinking about it they're being romantic around other people and wow! That's nerve-wracking! Peak young love early-in-the-relationship behavior they ain't slick.

His tone of voice in this scene is gentler I think than we've ever heard from him before (Michael Kovach you are so damn good at your job). His loss-filled fury is cooled in an instant when he realizes how close he came to hurting his girlfriend. It's heartbreakingly gentle before 'Tessa' cuts him off.

And when she cuts Uzi off:

He looks like genuinely pissed at her. "Did you really just interrupt my gf while she was talking?? She's scared and you're disrespecting her tf is wrong with u??"

And like- the fact he was genuinely willing to off Tessa for her. Like he realizes there's a possibility she tried to get his gf killed for no reason and upon her not even trying to deny it he just kills her instantly. Because it's no longer a question of the universe or Uzi. It's a question of Tessa or Uzi, and its a choice his heart has already made before this point.

But here's like. The thing about all this that gets me. This is meant to be a secret relationship, right? Like nobody but them is supposed to know about this. And the fact that we the audience didn't have any reason to assume them to be an established relationship without heavy headcanoning means they did a decent job at that, right?

Guys. Guys.

N is terrible at keeping secrets. Like. Horrendously bad at keeping things on the down-low. Every single time in the series he's supposed to not spill info he like. Fails. It's wild. And because the relationship happens after "Inclusive reflexes!" that means that Uzi damn well knows this and still trusts him to try.

But based on V's reaction to the handholding in Dead End:

I'm honestly willing to bet she knew. She doesn't sound surprised, just annoyed that she has to see it. Which means N probably like, heard her badmouthing Uzi or something and got like way too defensive about it and she clocked him instantly. Because he's bad at keeping secrets. And she doesn't bother mentioning it during any of these episodes out loud because she doesn't care what these idiots do in their free time.

Can you imagine how many hundred close calls they must've had? How many times Uzi must've had to aggressively shush him or cover his mouth because he was going to say something slightly too sappy in public? The only reason we don't get to see the time period between eps 4 and 5 is because it would've been painfully obvious that these two dating is the worst kept secret in the entire bunker. I'm going insane.

Uzi fell in love with a proud himbo and they both know it. It's genuinely a miracle they didn't clue the audience in sooner.

[tarotwithlove]

PICK A CARD ⋆ what's manifesting you?

reminder that this is a general reading and messages found here may not apply to everyone. take what resonates, leave what doesn't, and don't force anything if it does not fit.

BOOK A READING WITH ME · LINKTREE · 18+ PATREON · SUGGEST A PAC TOPIC · TIPS ♡ tips and feedback are highly appreciated!

GROUP ONE

cards · the emperor, nine of pentacles (reversed), judgement. travel, new beginnings, manifestation. 

songs · shrike by hozier. better days by superm. no matter what by polo g. 

hey there group one ♡ the simplest way to put it is that everything that you are manifesting is manifesting you as well. the emperor is a card of authority and success, and, here, indicates that what is manifesting you more than anything is wealth and status. 

you may be someone who is constantly worried about finances and about what your future holds for you. even as you work hard and manifest, you may think that the life you want is far out of reach.  but there is no need to worry, because this life wants you as much as you want it. a new life is manifesting you - one where you are safe and successful, one where you can travel without worry, one where you do not have to worry about your finances even half as much as you may worry about them now.

for some, you may become successful entrepreneurs or see significant career success. whatever it may be, do not give up or lose hope, because your success is inevitable. 

GROUP TWO

cards · five of pentacles (reversed), death, page of pentacles. wellbeing, happiness, healing.

songs · break my soul by beyonce. umbrella by h&d. crazy eyes by alex mali.

hey there group two ♡you may be at a time in your life where you are followed by loss, financial harship, and mental anguish. every day you wake up hopeful, only to soon be hit by anxiety, worry, or the reality of your living situation. you are in more pain than you can put into words, and you are trying your hardest just to get through each moment. you are barely living.

but peace and wellbeing are manifesting you - peace of mind, mental wellbeing, emotional wellbeing, and, of course, happiness. these things are on their way to you. the only thing stopping them from materialising in your life is the steps that you must take so that they can come towards you. whether this be in the form of therapy or simply deciding you do not want to live your life this way any longer.

yes, simply deciding is enough. because in this way you are indicating to the divine that you are ready for the the things that are manifesting you to finally come towards you. you are not meant to live a life of suffering and struggle, know this much.

GROUP THREE

cards · nine of cups, queen of pentacles, king of wands. love, freedom, manifestation.

songs · right now by fire from the gods. one and only you by got7 & hyolyn. love story by mariah carey. 

hey there group three ♡ love is manifesting you! for some of you this is, of course, romantic love - the kind of love you have been manifesting and praying for and the kind of love story you have always dreamed you will have.

your manifestations have not been in vein, and as much as you are manifesting love, love is manifesting you in turn. this love is one with someone who is your other half. while they are completely different from you, you feel as if they complete you. with them, you can finally reach your full potential - for this love will only add to and enrich your life. this love will set you free and broaden your horizons, in ways that you never expected love to do. especially since the love you have always experienced and seen around you has been love that was wholly limiting and, in many ways, damaging, 

for others of you, this love is love for your own life. love for a particular career path or passion. whatever love looks like, and whatever form it takes, it is manifesting you and coming towards you. your life may seem devoid of love at the moment, but it will not be the case for much longer. 

[tiredfox64]

No Puedo; Tengo Novio

Prior notes: grr grr Aventura, grr grr Prince Royce, grr grr Romeo Santos, it never ends. TO THE PERSON WHO HAS THE REQUEST DON’T WORRY I’LL START WORKING ON IN IT WHEN I FULLY WAKE UP!

Pairing: Bi-Han x Afab reader, Kuai Liang

Warnings ‼️: Angst? Yandere? Eh, blood and violence.

He’s the oldest. He’s the grandmaster. He’s better in every way. Yet you picked his younger brother. Can’t you see Bi-Han is the better option here?

Someone as glorious and precious as you doesn’t belong to a man like Kuai Liang. What does Kuai Liang know? Nothing, he knows nothing. While Bi-Han knows everything. He knows what will make you happy. What will make you squirm in bed. The things he would do to you would make you beg to be his wife and have his children. It would make you forget that Kuai Liang ever existed.

Bi-Han can’t sleep at night thinking about how you couldn’t possible be happy with his brother. You must be faking it just to prevent hurting Kuai Liang. But he can see right through you. You seem tense, like you haven’t felt pleasure in a while. Has his brother been depriving you? You poor thing, if you just let Bi-Han near he can fix that for you.

In fact, you should let him near now. He’s been patient for way too long. Longer than he would usual last. He can’t respect your boundaries anymore. If you’re gonna be near his clan he has the right to be near you whenever he wants. Even if that means right in front of Kuai Liang.

══💤══╡°˖✧🦊✧˖°╞══💤══

Bi-Han went stomping around the temple while calling your name. He couldn’t find you at all. He wanted to have a “word” with you.

When he found you, you were of course with Kuai Liang. He watched in disgust as Kuai Liang peppered you with kisses. You laughed with joy every time he did. His arms were wrapped tight around your waist. You two looked like the happiest couple ever. Bi-Han still believed you were faking it. You were too kind and that’s your weakness. Too kind and caring to speak the truth about how you hate Kuai Liang. That you actually love Bi-Han and find him to be a much better lover.

He called you again much more louder and harsher this time. It got your attention and Kuai Liang’s. You got nervous quickly when he said he needed to talk to you. Kuai Liang told you to go ahead as he felt like his brother would do no harm to you.

When Bi-Han was able to get you alone he slammed you against the nearest wall and pressed himself against you. He grabbed your face and forcefully kissed you. Your lips felt perfect against his. It was truly meant to be. He was trying to push his tongue into your mouth before you decided to slap him. He grunted before pinning your wrist to the wall now.

“What do you think you are doing?” He gritted his teeth.

“What am I doing? What are you doing? Are you insane? I’m your brother’s girlfriend.” You snapped back at him.

“There is no need to keep that act up. I know you don’t love him. We are a perfect match and you have known that from the beginning.”

You looked at Bi-Han like he was crazy. Because he was! His statement seemed preposterous.

“You’re crazy.” You said

“I am not. I am in love with you. You should be honored to be worthy of my love.”

“This isn’t love. This is an obsession. It’s making you do crazy things like kissing your brother’s girlfriend.” You stated, “You better let me go before I scream for Kuai Liang.”

He scowled at your words. Kuai Liang must have corrupted your into thinking that Bi-Han was obsessed. No, this is not obsession, this is love! But for now he must let you go.

You rubbed your wrist as you walked away quickly, keeping an eye on Bi-Han just in case he tries something else. You decide not to tell Kuai Liang what just happened. It wasn’t your fault and you don’t want to start something bad around here. Bi-Han will however. He will do anything to get Kuai Liang off of you.

══💤══╡°˖✧🦊✧˖°╞══💤══

The brothers were training together as suggested by Bi-Han. It wasn’t all that strange but Kuai Liang could sense that Bi-Han was more hostile than usual. His attacks seemed more erratic and unwarranted.

“You are not setting a good example for the others, brother.” Kuai Liang warned him.

“I am the grandmaster here. I can do what I want and take what I want.” Bi-Han answered back.

A few more punches and kicks were thrown with more force. It caught Kuai Liang off guard and he ended up falling to the floor. He expected his brother to help him up but he did the opposite. He stood over Kuai Liang with his fists clenched tight. For a second he debated walking away and not laying another blow to his own brother. But then he thought of you and how you were not by his side or in his bed. That was enough to set him off.

Bi-Han started pummeling Kuai Liang. He tried to defend himself but Bi-Han would find other places to hit. The other Lin Kuei clansmen were unsure of what to do. They didn’t want to go against their grandmaster so they were forced to watch as blood started to appear. No one could tell whose blood it was but it was getting on the floor and on his fists. Kuai Liang was starting to react less now as his injuries were becoming worse.

“You need to break up with her. You can’t satisfy her like I could. I am the grandmaster here and I deserve to have her by my side. Not my weak brother who can’t fend for himself.” He hissed at Kuai Liang.

Tomas saw what was going on and stepped in to pull Bi-Han off Kuai Liang. He didn’t care what happened beforehand or what will happen after. He only cared for Kuai Liang who was bleeding from his forehead and the side of his face. There was probably more areas that Bi-Han damaged but that will be discovered soon. Tomas helped his brother up and brought him to his room.

When you came by after you were horrified to see how Kuai Liang was. You immediately started to help clean and patch up his wounds. Luckily the gashes on his face weren’t too bad but he did bleed a lot. You tried asking what happened but he was silent. There was little to no emotions in his face. Just a dead stare as he went over what his brother told him. If he could hurt his own brother, imagine what he could do to you if you kept denying him. Kuai Liang loves you but he is now worried for your safety. It’s best if he lets you go.

When you were done patching him up that’s when he spoke. He was blunt about it and said it was over. It was a real shock to you. You questioned him, asking if Bi-Han told him anything or if he found out what Bi-Han did. He didn’t answer those questions but told you to leave. He was hoping you would get out and never return. Never give his brother the satisfaction. That’s not how it went.

You left Kuai Liang’s room, crying into the palm of your hands. Everything was going wrong. It only got worse when you bumped into Bi-Han. You tried to run away but he grabbed you immediately.

“Why are you crying? Did my brother do that? I told you he doesn’t love you. If you had listened to me you would not be crying right now.” He was very harsh with you.

You looked down at his knuckles and saw how bruised and bloodied they were. It showed that Bi-Han did do something to Kuai Liang. It made you cry even harder as you realized just how obsessed he was about you.

“Stop your crying. I will make you feel better. I will never break your heart. Trust me. I will make you feel things that you have never felt before. No one will ever be able to make you feel the way I make you feel. No one.”

You couldn’t stop your crying. You were sad and horrified yet he never got the hint that you didn’t want to be with him. You never actually loved him. Well, maybe you do. Another kiss might help you figure it out.

He kissed you again with a lot of force. He held your face as your tears fell on his hands. This was your nightmare but Bi-Han’s dream. Can’t you see, he loves you!

He loves you!

He loves you!

He loves you!

This is not an obsession this is love!

There was only one thing left to say and he whispered it against your lips.

“I love you…”

After notes: 🍊👀DO YOU SLEEP? YOU MOVE SO FAST. 👽👀 YOU AS WELL IS YOUR CIRCADIAN RHYTHM OKAY? 👁️👁️ ah hello, back again I see. The spirits told me I have to sleep now. I’ll be nicer to Kuai Liang soon i promise. I’m just on some hot girl energy type of whatever. Adiós!

[cosmerelists]

Attending a Party Thrown by Each Radiant Order

As requested by anon. :)

You've been invited to a party! Actually, ten parties. But the twist is that each party is thrown and attended only by a single Radiant order and also we're in some kind of quasi-modern AU. What would each party be like?

[Previously: Radiant Orders play boardgames, have sleepovers, and go to musicals]

1. The Lightweaver Party

The invitation is a glossy, stylized illustration of a hand holding a wine glass--a true work of art. You later find out that every invitation is unique; no two are the same. The invitation leads you to a large ballroom-esque hall. "What is your name tonight?" asks a masked figure at the door. "Uh...Fred?" you say. You had not planned this. "Welcome...Fred," they say and let you in. It is shadowy inside, perhaps because all of the light comes from fairy lights and electric candles. Everyone is masked--including you, as per the invitation. People glide about, talking and laughing in low voices. It's not unwelcoming exactly, but certainly...surreal.

2. The Windrunner Party

The invitation is a couple of dudes saying, "Hey, there's a thing. Wanna come?" when you run into them at the bar. "The thing" appears to be some kind of picnic at a local park: you were told it was a potluck, so you did bring a macaroni salad, but the focus seems to be the large pot of stew that one of the men is making. There's a lot of eating and laughter and sunshine, and frankly a lot of hot people in uniform. You have a good time. Even if the Captain is just a little bit glowery the whole time.

3. The Edgedancer Party

A roller skating rink! You haven't been to a roller skating rink in sooo long! You're honestly psyched. As you do your best to skate around, others glide smoothly past you, looking like they were born skating. When you take a break to eat a mediocre but nostalgic corndog, a couple of them sit with you and you get to chatting. You're just at a skating rink, eating a mediocre corndog, but somehow...you've never felt so heard. When you go back to skating, you're skating with maybe a tear in your eye.

4. The Stoneward Party

It's just a party at someone's house, where everyone brings a case of beer or a bottle of wine or a snack food, and everyone drinks out of red solo cups. But you know what the vibe is? Convivial. Like, people are waving you over to join their conversations and asking about your hobbies and at one point? Someone suggests a party game? And everyone plays? Like, it WAS a pretty competitive game of charades, but everyone seemed to be having fun the whole time.

5. The Truthwatcher Party

Their party was at a local bar and on trivia night. The party was immediately pretty boisterous--someone brings up politics, like, immediately, and then everyone is happily shouting their thoughts back and forth across the table. But when trivia time hits, the mood turns serious.

6. The Dustbringer Party

It's in the basement of a warehouse that you're pretty sure is due for demolition. Certainly, it does NOT feel particularly structurally sound and there IS a lot of, like, concrete dust and debris everywhere. But once you get downstairs--well, this is not just a party. This is a rager. There is music and alcohol and drugs if you want 'em, and people are shouting and dancing and generally having a good time. "When you're like us, you GOTTA let loose every once in a while or you go INSANE!" someone says to you at one point. "It's about release?" you say and everyone in a five-foot radius groans at the pun.

7. The Willshaper party

It's drugs. Lots of drugs. Some of them are illegal, some of them aren't, but the people here would definitely scoff if you tried to make that distinction.

8. The Elsecaller Party

Well, it certainly is a very correct party. You receive an RSVP, and it's clear that you are meant to respond. In writing. Which you do. The RSVP lets you know that the party is semiformal, and that the dinner course will begin at precisely 7pm, so you do not even try to do the whole "fashionably late" thing. You are there by 6:55. Good thing, too, because everyone else is already there. "Everyone" being Jasnah and one small, inky man. Have you ever had dinner with your dissertation advisor who is also your mom somehow? Well, then you know how this party went. You were SWEATING the whole time.

9. The Skybreaker Party

When they checked your ID at the entrance to the small event hall they had rented, you laughed and asked if they wanted to make sure you were over 21. Their expression in reply told you that this was not a joke. Inside, there is a cash bar, and some hors d'oeuvre being handed around on plates. The people inside are mostly talking about their recent accomplishments in a way that makes you feel that they are all very stressed and trying to prove something. "It's a test," says a bald man who appeared very suddenly next to you. "A test of what?" you ask, suddenly very afraid. But he is gone.

10. The Bondsmith Party

You're at a party, and it's just you and two other people. The two other people? Married. You feel like you're crashing a date. They're being very nice and you are being included in every conversation but you're also literally the third at a party with only two other people who are married. You can't help but think this would be WAY less awkward if there were just ONE more Bondsmith. But who knows if THAT will ever happen!

[baddestbittyontheblock]

mapi león fic recs

you are responsible for the content you consume‼️

❁⊰ spilling the tea mapi león x fem!reader

❁⊰ one night stands mapi león x reader | 18+., heavy smut, mentions of casual sex, choking

❁⊰ just business mapi león x fem!reader

-a businesswoman reader who is accused of being a golddigger by the team

❁⊰ some days are harder than others mapi león x reader | contains some details of mental health issues and insecurities

❁⊰ socializing problems mapi león x reader | not fluff at all, accidental confession, teenager love, a bit of headcanon, reader being a stupid curious, mapi confessing unintentionally, also mapi being an assertive/passive person.

-You are secretly Mapi's love and you have negative impressions about her.

But that ended when Maria accidentally left her sketchbook on the bench at the locker room.

❁⊰ three is better than one alexia putellas, mapi leon x female!reader | smut

-Mapi invites Alexia to join you two.

❁⊰ disobedience mapi león x reader | smut

-a little blurb/ or headcannons about Mapi being a dom, like what pushes her buttons and what punishments she likes to give out?

❁⊰ everything and more mapi león x reader

❁⊰ the swap mapi león x reader | fluff, suggestive content

-why are suddenly being woken by your cat screaming and not her laying on your chest?

❁⊰ you made your mark on me mapi león x reader

-you fuck up the arrangement

❁⊰ mapi ficlet mapi león x reader

-reader gets sent home from the World Cup through an injury and mapi looks after her

❁⊰ "Go to sleep, I will not leave you alone." mapi león x reader

-reader is a war time reporter assigned to Ukraine

❁⊰ too much teasing mapi león x reader

-reader plays for the lionesses and they have a secret relationship going on, during the euros and the lionesses find out about the relationship and tease her about it

❁⊰ mapi ficlet mapi león x reader | fluffy, mapi being protective

-reader gets injured in the last game of the season for barca and is worried about not being able to play in the wc because of the injury.

❁⊰ shyness is nice mapi león x reader

-a shy and swedish reader. mapi wants to know more about them.

❁⊰ woso couple things mapi león x reader | just mapi dating headcanons, fluff, suggestive content

-If there was one thing Mapi loved most, it was being in your arms

❁⊰ if i was a man mapi león/alexia putellas x readers | talk about the Rubiales case and it's a longer oneshot than usual

-OCs are sisters, face claims are the women in the picture underneath: Luisa Ruiz Moreno is a journalist and is dating Mapi Leon, Elena Ruiz Moreno is a football player for Barcelona and Spain, she's in a long-term relationship with Alexia Putellas

❁⊰ one night stands (pt:2) mapi león x reader | literally just sex and a tiny bit of fluff. Minors dni.

❁⊰ teasing m.león x i.engen x reader

-being taller than Mapi and tease her about it but being shorter than Ingrig and then get tease by her >>>

❁⊰ the kit switch mapi león x reader | implications of intimacy, offhand mention of blood

-“Took you long enough!” You heard someone laugh from across the locker room. Looking up, you saw Mapi standing in the doorway looking adorably smug.

❁⊰ rules are meant to be broken mapi león x reader

-The Spanish national team are in Italy for a friendly, the game just played ended in a 1-1 draw, goals coming from you and Alexia. Both teams had just congratulated each other on a good game of football. The Spain girls now standing with their families. They watch as you and Alexia swap shirts, the later quick to wear yours.

❁⊰ please mapi león x reader

-mapi does CPR on R

❁⊰ powerful mapi león x reader

-Powerful. That was one word you could describe your girlfriend.

❁⊰ collision madness mapi león x reader | mentions of blood, swearing, slight smut implication, teeny bit of playful grop!ng

-in which mapi and the reader are secretly dating, and both play for Barcelona. during a game against real madrid, the reader gets into a nasty collision with the goal post after being pushed into it during a corner. mapi gets extremely protective and angry, earning herself a red card.

❁⊰ mapi blurb mapi león x reader

-mapi x reader where they play each other in the uwcl final. after the game reader asks for mapi’s shirt but mapi is confused as she already has loads. reader replies that she wants to see how good her new colours will look on her. mapi finds out there that reader is joining barca

❁⊰ so it goes (part 3) mapi león x reader | minors dni(swearing, sexual content, phone sex).

❁⊰ like a best friend mapi león x reader | 18+ minors dni, if you don't like butt stuff, do not read this. Cunnilingus, fingering, butt plugs.

-maria buys you a birthday present, then shows you how to use it.

[harry-on-broadway]

My Valentine

Word Count: 4.6K || Rating: M

A/N: This is technically a continuation of My Rock Star but you don’t have to have read that to enjoy this one. I’m hoping this has something for everyone in it. Would love to hear your feedback! 

*** Being with Harry came with a laundry list of perks.

Access to an incredible closet, the chance to travel the world whenever you wanted, sex with an unbelievably attractive man.

But there were also some downsides.

Like being his caretaker when he celebrated a little too hard.

As usual, you’d taken your time getting ready, knowing you wouldn’t see him until the after party, and you could already tell he’d be in rare form based on the antics you’d seen on the telecast. You were pretty confident he’d already had a drink or two by the time he walked up to the stage to receive his first award, just by how loose he was. You knew the alcohol hadn’t stopped flowing when he started throwing himself at anyone who was near. And you were surprised he was still standing when Tom had to gently guide him across the stage after the last award of the evening.

When you arrived at the restaurant that was hosting the first after party, you had prepared yourself to be attacked by Harry, but were surprised to come across Gemma instead.

“Do you have eyes on him?” you asked.

“Yeah, he’s over there.” She gestured to a table in the back where Harry had one arm around Jeffrey and was using his other hand to gesture animatedly as he told a story. “I thought he had sobered up a little while he was doing interviews after but that apparently isn’t the case,” she added as Harry wobbled, nearly losing his footing until Jeffrey caught him. “Looks like I got the easy shift tonight. I don’t envy your evening.”

“Oh dear,” you said under your breath. “None for me,” you said, to the waiter who asked for your drink order. One of you had to have a level head.

“There’s my girlfriend,” Harry yelled, causing Jeff to cover his ears.

“Here I am!” You walked over to him and gave him a big hug and a kiss on the cheek.

“He’s all yours,” Jeff laughed, patting you on the back as Harry clung onto you, whispering in your ear.

“...and then he gave me the award and we hugged again and then – “

“H, baby, why don’t we sit down,” you suggested, unsure of your ability to support his entire body weight for much longer.

“Oh, yeah.” He righted himself and found a seat at the table, walking on unsteady legs with you close behind.

The booth you found yourselves sitting in was cozy, especially as Tyler, Tom, and Jenny, slid in next to you. Harry, not wantign to be left out, all but laid on top of you trying to not only steal a cuddle, but insert himself into the conversation that was happening to your right. You exchanged a wide-eyed glance with Gemma as you gently pushed Harry back to his seat. She laughed over the rim of her glass and rolled her eyes, quite familiar with her brother’s antics.

“Maybe we can sneak away and have another round of celebrations like we did last week?” Harry whispered to you, his breath hot against your ear as the waiter deposited entrees in front of everyone. “Make you scream my name.”

“As enticing as that offer sounds, I’m going to pass,” you said quietly, twirling pasta around your fork.

Harry pouted. “Why not?”

“Eat,” you told Harry, pointing at the plate of fettucini in front of him. “You need to get something in your stomach. Drink some water too,” you prodded, pushing his glass closer to him. “It’ll make you feel better.”

“I feel fiiiiinnnneee,” Harry retorted, stretching out the last word.

“I’ve got to be honest with you, those do not sound like the words of someone who is fine.”

“What does that mean?” He stared at you blankly.

“Babe, just eat.”

Harry finally relented, tucking into his meal, though he kept his arm around you the entire time. As annoying and petulant as he could be when he was drunk, you had to admit his clinginess was endearing, even if meant many promises he couldn’t deliver on.

The pasta sobered him up enough to rally for the next stop on the party tour, and you dutifully followed him into the back seat of the car waiting outside. He was chatty and exuberant, laughing with Tom and Jenny who were sharing the vehicle with you, ice cubes clinking in his glass of neat tequila. At the club, he made his way around the room, altenrating between dancing with some friends and chatting with others.

You kept to the outskirts of the room, introducing yourself to the few unfamiliar faces you spotted while reconnecting with members of Harry’s team you hadn’t seen recently. All the while you kept your eyes on him, ready to intervene when he’d finally had enough. The afterparties were fun, no question about it, but standing there, sipping your own non-alcoholic beverage, you felt a nagging sensation in the pit of your stomach that you couldn’t place, and as Harry found his way back to you, pulling you to the dance floor, you did your best to push it out of your mind.

By 4am, most people had started to head out and you set off in search of Harry, finding him zoned out on a couch, leaning against Jeff, who looked equally out of it.

“H, I think it’s time to head out,” you said, reaching for his hands.

He grinned lazily. “Yeah it is.” He turned to Jeff. “We’re going to –”

“OK, I don’t think we need to talk about that,” you said, heading off any embarrassing comment he was about to make. “The car’s out front babe.” You tried to pull him up, but he was dead weight, far to heavy for you to drag. “I need you to stand up, baby.” After a little more prompting, Harry stood, swaying with each step he took. Seeing how unsteady he was, you felt less confident in your ability to get him home without incident.

“Would you like some help?” A member of Harry’s security team was in front of you, looking from you to the drunken man at your side.

“That would actually be great,” you said, sighing in relief.

“Make sure the car’s out front and I’ll get him there.”

You nodded and ran off, and ten minutes later you and Harry were alone in the backseat, making your way home.

“Could make you feel really good right now,” Harry slurred.

“I’m know you could, but we just need to get you in bed.”

Harry smirked, clearly misunderstanding the meaning of your words. “I seeeeeee,” he giggled.

When you arrived home, you nudged him up the stairs, keeping him upright and facing forward as he slowly planted one foot in front of the other, swaying back and forth as he climbed higher.

“I think I’m ready for bed,” he announced, pulling off his jacket and dropping it in the all. He stared at it, an intense look of concentration on his face as if he couldn’t figure out how it gotten there. “Is that my jacket?”

“It is. We’re getting ready for bed and we’re going to go in here,” you said, steering him towards the bedroom. “Right in here.”

You darted back into the hall to pick up his discarded jacket and when you returned, you found him face down on the bed. “Fuck,” you said under your breath. He couldn’t make this easy for you. You rolled him over, unbucking his pants and pulling them down his leg. You untangled his necklaces, placing them on his bedside table before dragging him up the bed and tucking him under the covers.

After making sure he was asleep, you got yourself ready for bed, changing into your pajamas, before brushing your teeth and washing your face and climbing into bed next to him.

Lying in bed beside him, watching his chest rise and fall slowly, you felt a wave of affection wash over you. He was yours. This silly, drunk, annoying man was yours and you wouldn’t have it any other way. A snore escaped from his mouth and you smiled. You were going to miss him over the next couple of months. You reached up to brush his hair off his forehead, wrapping his curl around your finger as that bittersweet feeling returned. .

You’d gotten lucky through the summer and fall, with your remote job affording you the opportunity to travel with him, but you’d be needed in office when he was in Australia and Asia. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t a little bit worried about the distance, something you’d discussed with Harry, and the two of you had planned to spend these last couple of days focused on each other. But with the Grammys and now the Brits, time for just you two had been scarce. And tomorrow – or rather today – would be a waste  with Harry sure to have the hangover of the century. But you’d take moments like this as long as they were with him.

You wiggled down under the comforter, momentarily freezing as Harry stirred. Once he’d settled, sleeping on his other side, you slid closer to him, hooking your leg over his, wrapping your arm around his chest, and holding him as close as you could.

***

You woke up much sooner than you would have liked, but your empty stomach was more powerful than your need to sleep. Harry was still out cold next to you, and after watching him sleep for a couple more moments, you slid out from under the covers and padded down to the kitchen.

You put on some coffee for yourself, confident that Harry wouldn’t be up for several hours, and found the ingredients for an omelet in the fridge. When you’d finished eating and cleaning up, you sat at the table, coffee in hand, plotting your next move. You definitely had things to do. You needed to do laundry and start packing for your flight in a couple of days, and you should probably figure out what you all were going to do for dinner, but you knew deep down that the only thing you wanted to do right now was be with Harry – even if he was still passed out, completely unaware of your presence. So you poured yourself a second cup of coffee, grabbed your laptop and a book, and made your way back upstairs.

You gingerly peeled back the covers on your side of the bed, careful not to disturb him, and got comfortable. You popped your AirPods in and waited for them to connect before pressing play on an episode of Real Housewives on your laptop.

After 4 episodes and 50 pages in your book, you heard an extremely loud snore come from Harry, a snore so loud that he jolted himself awake. He squinted up at you, eyes adjusting to the dim light of the room.

“Morning, sunshine,” you said, moving your laptop off of your legs.

“Stop shaking the bed,” he mumbled.

“I’m not.”

“Yes, you are.”

“Someone’s in a good mood this afternoon,” you shot back, voice dripping with sarcasm.

“It’s not my fault my head is killing me.” Harry rolled onto his back, flinching as he moved the bed again. “Fuck.”

“Here, take these.” You handed him a couple of Tylenol and a bottle of water watching as he slowly sat up and took the pills, nearly downing the entire bottle of water in one gulp. “Do you want some more?”

“No.” He stared down at the comforter, still adjusting to the afternoon light drifting in from the curtains. “What time is it?”

You looked at your phone. “A little after three.”

“Shit. What time did we leave last night?”

“A little after four.”

“Fuck.”

“I know. So much for just one drink.” He attempted to roll his eyes, but thought twice, cringing at the movement. “You okay?” you asked. As much as you’d love to continue teasing him you could tell he was hurting.

“Yeah, I just need to take it slow.”

“You should probably eat something. What do you want?”

“No clue.”

You sighed, knowing that hungover Harry was going to be worse than drunk Harry. “Why don’t you think about it and I’ll get you some more water.”

He grunted affirmatively and you eased off the bed. In the kitchen, you set about filling up his water bottle and making him some tea. You grabbed a banana as well, before scooping up the beverages, balancing them precariously as you made your way back upstairs.

The lights had been turned on in your absence, albeit on the dimmest setting, and he’d turned on the TV as well, some sports game playing at a low volume. Harry was leaning against the headboard, wrapped in a hoodie. He perked up when he saw you in the doorway.

“Feeling better?” you asked, placing the beverages and fruit on his nightstand.

He nodded. “A little.”

“That’s good.” You kissed his hair. He still smelled like the club from last night. “Maybe you should rinse off later?”

He laughed lightly. “Trying to tell me something.”

“It might make you feel better.”

“No, you just think I stink,” he said, taking a bite of the banana.

You let out an exasperated sigh. “I was thinking I could fix us some pasta in a little bit. If you’re feeling up to it.”

“Pasta sounds good.” You pressed another kiss to his head and climbed into bed next to him.  He threw his arm around your shoulders, a practiced and comfortable gesture, and you curled up against his side. “How bad was I last night?” he asked.

“How much do you remember?”

“Not a lot after the restaurant.”

“Well, you had a couple of drinks…”

“Feels like more than a couple…” he groaned

“I rounded down. You did some dancing, introduced yourself to everyone – and I mean everyone – in the room, gave a lot of hugs…”

“Did I kiss anyone else?”

“You tried to plant a couple on Jeff.”

“Just showing him how much I love him.”

“You also extended the romantic offer of a quickie in the bathroom to me,” you said dryly. “Several times.”  

“Hey! The last time I won something we fucked in the–”

“I remember, but I highly doubt you would have been able to manage that last night Mr. Only-The-One drink.”

Harry pinched your side and you squirmed in his arms. “You can’t judge me for wanting to spend time with my favorite person,” he said.

You threw your arm over his stomach and hugged him tight, closing your eyes, trying to remember everything about this moment. The feel of his hoodie against your fingers, the sound of his heartbeat, the weight of his arm on your shoulders. You wished there was some way to preserve this.

“Have you eaten today?” he asked, interrupting your reverie.

“I had breakfast and a snack.”

“Would you want to do the pasta soon? I can rinse off and meet you in the kitchen.”

“Yeah.”

Harry stretched before climbing out of bed and shedding his briefs and hoodie, making a half-hearted attempt to toss them into the hamper. When you heard the water turn on, you headed to the kitchen for the third time that day, pulling pasta, tomatoes, spices, and cheese from various cabinets, waiting for Harry to come down.

You’d started boiling the water when you felt him come up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist, swaying back and forth. “Smells good,” he said against your hair.

“It’s just pasta,” you said, laughing. “I haven’t even started the good stuff yet.”

“Wasn’t talking about the food. I was talking about you.” He inhaled again. “Need to bottle this up so I can take you with me.” You bit your lip, willing yourself to hold back your emotions and not let them ruin this moment. “Alright.” Harry released you from his grasp. “What can I help with?”

“I was thinking of doing a pink sauce so if you want to start with that.”

“On it.” Harry rolled up his sleeves and got to work chopping onions and grating fresh parmesan, and the kitchen was filled with a savory aroma as he threw them into the pot. With the sauce simmering, Harry opened a bottle of wine, pouring both of you a glass. You raised an eyebrow at the large portion given his current state. “What?” he asked. “Hair of the dog, right?”

When dinner was ready, you all sat at the table, properly recapping the events of the previous night. You laughed at Harry’s recollection of the ceremony which was hazy at best, but seeing the award show through his lens was somehow even better than being there. You cleaned up together and migrated upstairs soon after, brushing teeth and collapsing into bed under the pretense of getting caught up on Love Island. Harry sidled up behind you, his body conforming to yours as you pressed play, and it was just ten minutes later when you heard his snores in your ear. You smiled, reaching for the remote, careful not to disturb him, turning off the TV shortly before sleep overtook you as well.

***

You had a weird feeling in your stomach when you woke up on the morning of the 14th, something you attributed to the fact that you’d be leaving Harry in less than 24 hours. Trying to stave off the anxiety that was quickly brewing, you decided a walk through the city and running errands was the cure. So, with Harry still in bed, you set out on your adventure.

You arrived back at the house later in the afternoon, letting yourself in and heading straight for your bedroom. If you packed everything up now, that would leave the rest of the evening free to spend with Harry without the looming knowledge of more chores on your to-do list.

When you got to the bedroom, you stopped short, unsure of what you were walking into. Candles were placed on every surface within sight, giving the room a romantic glow. Fresh flowers – roses from the looks of them – were placed around the room, which smelled of…vanilla?

“Welcome home,” Harry said. “And Happy Valentine’s Day.”

“I thought we said no gifts!” was the first thing you could think to blurt out.

“It’s not a gift. It’s…ambiance,” Harry said. He studied your face, trying to get a read on what you were feeling. “Do you not like it?” he asked, flustered.

“No, I love it. I just feel bad that I didn’t do anything for you.”

“Well, that’s where you’re wrong.” He stepped forward and grabbed your hands, giving them a squeeze. “The last 14 months have been about me. Touring, working on the album, premieres, award shows. And you’ve been beside me every step of the way. Supporting me, loving me. And I did this because, for once, I wanted to do something for you.”

You were speechless. No words could describe what this gesture meant to you. You supported Harry because you loved him, not because you needed grand declarations of love from him. But his insistence on treating you with an equal amount of respect and adoration only reiterated that you’d made the right decision when you first agreed to date him.

“Kiss me,” you managed to get out and Harry happily obliged, scooping you into his arms and kissing you squarely on your lips. His tongue pressed against the seam of your lips and quickly found yours. You panted heavily against his mouth, overwhelmed by the onslaught. You felt the kiss throughout your entire body from your lips to the tips of your toes. It was a like a current was running through you, a current that grew stronger as Harry’s arms moved down your body, grabbing your ass and pressing you against his stiff cock. You moaned at the sensation, all to aware of how empty you felt and how badly you wanted him.

“Can we?” you glanced at the bed and Harry nodded. You pushed him backwards until his legs hit the frame and he laid back, taking you with him. He kept kissing you as you settled on top of his thigh, rolling your hips desperately searching for the friction you needed. You felt Harry fumbling with the hem of your shirt and lifted your arms to aid him in pulling it off of you. Your bra was next, then Harry’s shirt, then you were skin to skin.

“You feel so soft,” Harry said, dazedly as he traced your spine. He kissed his way down your collarbone to your sternum before peppering kisses across your cleavage until his lips locked around your nipple. You were still grinding on his thigh and the combination of sensations was almost too much. Harry pulled his lips away with a satisfying pop, and when you felt his teeth scaping against the soft underside of your breast, sucking a kiss that you knew would leave a mark, you cried out as your orgasm overtook you.

You rested your head on his shoulder, hovering over his thigh as you tried to recover. Harry soothed you, stroking your back and hair, and when your breathing returned to normal, you locked eyes with him. “I need you,” you whispered.

Harry nodded, almost as if in a trance, and started to wiggle around underneath of you, pulling down his briefs and shorts and kicking them to the ground as you pulled off your own bottoms. Completely naked, with nothing between you, Harry eased back on the bed, resting his hands on your hips as you lined yourself up with him. Without hesitation, you sank down on his cock. Your mouth opened, but no sound came out. Your body fit with his in a way you’d never before experienced. It was like he was made for you. You could tell he was already close to spilling over based on the way his jaw was set, and when you gave an experimental bounce to feel how intensely he stretched you, he clenched his jaw even harder.

“I’m ready,” you whispered, and Harry moved his hips, rocking up into you. You threw your head back in satisfaction as he grazed that spot deep inside of you. His grip on your hips tightened, his nails marking you further as you matched his rhythm. After a few thrusts he stopped, hands squeezing you as a signal for you to do the same. Confused, you looked down at him.  

“It’s okay,” he murmumed. “Just wanted to be a little closer. He leaned forward so he was sitting upright, embracing you in his lap, all while driving his cock deeper inside of you.

“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,” he said as he continued to rock into you. “So beautiful, doing so good for me. So good to me all the time. Just want to make you feel good.” He was babbling, so painfully close to his own release but still putting your pleasure before his.

“It fee-feels incredible,” you managed to get out. You were almost there for the second time that night. On this next thrust, you took his face in your hands, kissing him as your orgasm washed over you. Seconds later, you felt him hot and wet inside you. Your fingers were tangled in the damp curls at the base of his neck, and you pulled his head back to look at you.

“Happy Valentine’s, baby,” he said. “I can’t believe I’m yours.”

***

The morning after was the most bittersweet you’d ever experienced. After spending the night wrapped around him, you didn’t want to let him go, but you reluctantly let him get ready for his flight.

“You should probably get ready too,” he said, eyes unwilling to meet yours, as if acknowledging you would accelerate your goodbye.

You pulled on leggings and a hoodie and sat on the edge of the bed. Watching him toss last minute items into his suitcase before zipping it up. “I just don’t want you to go,” you said, voice breaking. You covered your eyes, trying to hide your tears.

He was by your side in an instant. “I don’t want to leave either but it’s going to be over so soon. You’re going to kick ass on this project and I’ll play a couple of shows and things will be back to normal before we know it. And you’ll be coming with me this summer. It’s only a few weeks.” He squeezed your hand definitively. “We’ve got this.”

“I know.” You sniffled. “I just miss you already.”

“And I miss you too.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “You know, I was going to do this later but…” He stood up and walked to his night stand, rifling through the drawer. He pulled out a small, wrapped, box and tossed it to you. You looked at him curiously.

“What’s this?” you asked, shaking the box.

“I don’t know. Why don’t you open it and see?”

You peeled back the corner of the paper, freeing the box. You turned it upright and opened it. Inside was a delicate sliver necklace with a chain so thin you’d have to squint to see it. It was a perfect match to the one Harry had started sporting over the holidays. Tears immediately filled your eyes.

“Just to make sure you don’t forget me.”

“I thought is was only a few weeks,” you chuckled.

“Can’t take any chances.” He sat beside you again, the mattress dipping under his weight. “But I’m serious. I know how hard being with me can be sometimes and I mean it when I say I’ll never take you for granted. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” you said. “And I’m already counting down the days until I can see you again.”

***

talk to me! 

[orbmanson7]

Let's do a quick analysis of this new short video "The Sides Need a Nice Day" which is clearly meant to be mostly for fun, but there's definitely some hints and easter eggs to pay attention to that I'd like to explore a little further.

I'll address this in three parts in separate posts, the first for Patton and Logan, the next for Virgil and Roman, and the last for Janus and Remus.

Let's start with the first part, about Patton and Logan.

Patton's initial approach, as we can see, was flawed despite his good intentions. He wants to do something nice for Logan, he thinks out ideas based on what he knows Logan enjoys, and he likes to see Logan actually having fun. These are all very emotion-based notions and motivations, which we can expect from Patton. He's inspired by his own emotions in response to seeing the videos online, and takes matters into his own hands to give Logan in particular a special day.

Why Logan? Because Patton's very in tune with emotions and can recognize that Logan has been having a tough time lately. He empathizes with this a lot (considering it's kind of his thing) so he wants to do something that he'd like someone to do for him if he was having a bad day - do something to cheer him up!

This is very sweet and he clearly puts a lot of thought into this idea...but it's not an immediate success because he only really puts the emotional concept and vision into it, and didn't think practically or make his decisions with logic in mind.

Wonder who could have helped with something like that...

First, he approached Logan about making a quick decision, which is not something Logan is ever known to do. Logan resists this right away by questioning him for clarification and is already annoyed to start because Patton is being vague and trying to get Logan to play along without giving consideration to Logan's need to understand a situation and weigh his options before deciding anything. Logan takes no action lightly and always thinks his actions through first, as opposed to Patton, who prefers gut instincts and impulsive action. He doesn't bother to offer Logan the information and time to make a more informed decision, all because he wants to hurry up and get to the fun part!

Patton (like Roman) is someone who is able to envision what he wants, but Logan is someone who actually figures out the steps needed to make that a reality. Without the steps, that vision is but a dream, and without the vision, the steps are just work with no purpose.

These sides need to learn to work together to accomplish goals, not just do things on their own, and this part of the episode gives us a hint towards that notion.

The peculiar way that Patton then explains the situation to Logan is also interesting, as he states that whichever option Logan chooses will be something Patton wants to do, and because Patton wants to do it, Thomas will want to do it, meaning Logan gets to do it, too.

This, by itself, is such an alarming concept to drop into this video, especially with Patton saying it so cheerfully.

In case it's not clear, Patton is implying that he has so much power and sway over Thomas' decision-making process that he can have Thomas do something just because he, Patton, wants to do it. None of the sides should have that level of influence over Thomas, but Patton not only has that power but also knows that he does.

(And to clear up any confusion, this is not the same as Janus saying during his part of the video that he's convinced Thomas to lean into certain thoughts for the day. Patton is suggesting that if he wants something, Thomas will do it, as if it's automatic and doesn't require convincing. That may be Patton oversimplifying it a bit, but it's still indicating his status above others in that sense.)

In this case, he's using it to give Logan a nice day by doing (read: permitting Thomas to do) things he knows Logan would enjoy...but in other context, that's a very dangerous situation, especially since Patton has been shown to make bad or skewed judgement calls in the past due to his biases as well as making some very impulsive, emotionally-driven decisions.

But he recognizes this status that he holds and is attempting to use it for good, so at least there's that?

The next and more obvious part of this section shows that Patton is rushing Logan through the activities chosen, talking over him or cutting him off when Logan questions Patton about this, and Logan grows more annoyed by this as time goes on.

He is not quick to anger, even when he was initially forced into deciding something with very little information, and it takes a few times of being pushed and talked over before he even shows his frustration at all.

It's important to notice this because Logan's anger is not just born of nothing. It's valid because it's a natural reaction to the situation he's in not being properly catered to him.

This is something we see in episodes of the series a lot, and when it comes to the specific moments where Logan has truly gotten angry enough to show it, it's never out of nowhere, even if it may seem that way. If you are properly paying attention, you will see the gradual buildup, where Logan keeps holding himself back, staying calm and collected as long as he can, before the emotion bursts out and he acts rashly (and then regrets it).

Logan's anger has been shown to appear after moments where he is repeatedly cut off, spoken over, and ignored or disregarded completely. Being silenced and skipped over so often, it's a wonder Logan keeps trying at all, but he does. At some point, the last line is crossed, and he explodes with that anger.

While the resulting behavior may be inappropriate or rude, the feelings motivating that behavior are extremely valid, because he's being pushed to this breaking point by others. Anger serves the purpose of making it known when someone's boundaries have been crossed and when they have been wronged, so it makes sense for Logan to experience it at these times.

So, in this short video, Patton is trying to do something nice for him, and Logan can recognize and appreciate Patton's intention, but the execution is filled with the same mannerisms that build Logan's anger - being cut off, spoken over, ignored. It's not that he doesn't enjoy these activities, either, but he's not being given the chance to enjoy them with the way Patton is presenting them to him. It's a recipe for disaster because Logan's needs and boundaries aren't being respected despite the whole point being to do something nice for him.

This is also a tough situation for someone to oppose, by the way! When someone does something nice for you but you honestly hate it, how do you begin to tell them that? You don't want to hurt their feelings because you know they were trying to be nice and meant no harm, but if you don't speak up about the issues you had with it, your boundaries could wind up violated over and over again and the other party would be none the wiser.

Logan must voice his frustration. He has to explain why he's upset. And, thankfully, in this section of the video, he does!

He starts by stopping Patton directly, hand out and everything. He speaks calmly and clearly, using the same tone he used when speaking to the others during DwIT to get them to chill out and not be so impulsive. Logan is using what he knows to work to make his case here, and he tells Patton that he appreciates what he's trying to do. But then, he raises his voice and informs Patton what's annoying him about it, that he can't enjoy these activities because he's being rushed through them. This is a direct communication of the issue at hand and why it's bothering him.

Patton then pauses, reflects, realizes his mistake and where he had messed up, and then alters his behavior to fix the issue.

It's so simple and succinct that Logan, while still annoyed, seems confused that Patton actually listened to him and by how easy it was to find that resolution.

And I think that's our next piece of foreshadowing, as well.

Logan has been holding back about his genuine anger and frustration over how he's treated by the other sides and Thomas. He feels ignored and only utilized as a tool, as if he were a book rather than a person (or the metaphysical manifestation of one, at least).

These are not feelings that have only sprung up recently, either - this has been happening for a very long time without Logan ever addressing it.

Until he does, the others won't realize the impact their words and actions truly have on him. He needs to speak up and the others need to listen and adjust accordingly.

With the way Patton responded in this part, though, perhaps this shows that they may have an easier, calmer solution in store than one might initially anticipate, but we shall see.

Speaking of foreshadowing, during the times Logan is shown in the library throughout this part, he is reading a book titled A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles. Knowing past easter eggs and hints, it's likely this is not a coincidence.

Having read the book myself, I think it's very possible this is a potential nod to something that may occur soon within Logan's upcoming arc (whenever that may happen), as the book happens to deal a lot with the concept of imprisonment and finding ways to live through adversity.

In the book, the main character is put on house arrest in a bustling hotel in the city, but he's relegated to a cramped attic space and had left all of his books away from home so he cannot access them, because if he dares to leave the hotel, he'll be shot dead. So he stays inside, and he self-reflects because he now has a lot of time to think. He gets to know the people who work and live in the hotel, how their lives are so different than his own had been and continues to be. For quite some time, he feels the true punishment of his stay there, how the whole world outside is moving on so fast, but he is stuck inside, removed from it. He becomes effectively useless, unable to be or do anything for others (outside of giving amazing wine pairings for meals, of course), but he stays true to himself despite it all. He remains his charming and intelligent self, he makes new friends, he finds ways to be happy despite being trapped there.

The most popular quote from the book is one that says, "if a man does not master his circumstances then he is bound to be mastered by them." And while the main character in that story manages to make the best of his life and circumstances, we know that Logan is still struggling with his fate right now, being trapped within Thomas' mind as someone who cannot fully explore his own interests, who has less and less purpose since Thomas left college, and feels less respected and listened to every day.

Logan has to find a way to obtain happiness despite his circumstances, because he can't change his situation, but he can change how he responds to it.

This book may be a clue as to how he finally figures out how to do that.

The outcome of this part of the video with Logan and Patton is a satisfying one. Logan expressed his frustration, Patton listened and was able to correct the issue, and Logan was able to have a nice day after all, which is what Patton had set out to accomplish. There were quite a few bumps along the way, but it was successful in the end!

Now, onto the next part...

[shadowtraveled]

would love to know your thoughts on rinsha dunmeshi. or on rin and kabru :-)

OH!! i love rin honestly lightning damage and unaffiliated spellcasters will get me every time.

i would have loved to see more of her, but i do really enjoy kui's style of storytelling where she gives us the information about a character that will tell us exactly what she wants us to know. it reminds me of the way someone described suzanne collins' writing as surgically precise—she has more information about characters and the world, but she included what would get her story across most effectively. kui gives off a similar impression, and i think rin is a good example of that.

sorry readmore because that was getting long already.

rin's backstory is really interesting to me because it helps us to extrapolate so much more about the world and the other characters in it.

for what it's worth, i don't think it's terribly likely that her parents were practicing ancient magic. they were immigrants of a visibly different ethnicity, though, and they were magic users, which othered them doubly in the northern continent, and that otherness cost them their lives. this is sort of a running theme in dungeon meshi overall ofc, but i think a lot of discussion surrounding dungeon meshi discrimination focuses on the elves. which is fair, since they seem to be the most significant world power and they're weird race elitists as elves in fantasy frequently are, but the story does not want us to forget that discrimination is complex and so is otherness. tallmen may not be respected by long-lived races, but in communities where they do have power, they're still perfectly capable of leveraging it against others. they seem to have a particular bias against magic, but really anything people deem weird or creepy is enough to land you in trouble: laios faced constant rejection and, in some cases, severe harassment just for being autistic; kabru's eye color was enough to push his mother to the fringes of society and get her accused of witchcraft, suggesting that "weird or creepy" is regularly conflated with "magic" in tallman societies; and falin's affinity for magic led to her isolation and ostracism as her mother frantically tried to suppress it. rin's parents, meanwhile, were outright executed. the nature of these reactions to anything unfamiliar or non-standard are definitely meant to convey something about tallman societies in the world, but i think rin and kabru's situations specifically lend some explanation as to why falin is so forgiving of her parents. they didn't really know what to do with her, and some of the things they did to her were harmful, but she seems to see them as trying their best to protect her, perhaps because she knows the emergence of her magic could have put her in immediate physical danger but didn't.

with that being said, i'm surprised rin doesn't have more of an aversion to tallmen, but maybe kabru made enough of an impression on her that she developed some hope for them.

her dislike of elves, meanwhile, is entirely understandable—her interactions with them seem to be framed as emblematic of how they treat short-lived races in a way we don't really see with the others. milsiril objectifies short-lived races but does seem to... kind of care, otta fetishizes them but seems to... kind of care, mithrun's squad only get to be patronizing for a bit before it becomes apparent they bit off way more than they could chew, and mithrun isn't invested in these designations anymore. but the elves that found rin treated her like evidence, then like a toy, and then they got bored and ignored her, and then she was evidence again, and then she got adopted out to elves who kept her like they would a pet. miserable fucking experience, and a very thorough and efficient way of expressing just how little the elves are socialized to consider the humanity of the other races.

as for her relationship with kabru... i'm glad they had each other around. it's impossible to be surprised that she latched onto him in her circumstances, and i think it's sweet that she was the one he stuck with (despite the implication that milsiril was raising other children alongside him that he ostensibly would have spent more time with).

i also love how apparent their closeness is! rin gravitates to kabru, and if i'm remembering right, most of the time she speaks it's to him. that immediately established to me that she is uniquely comfortable with him, and interestingly it goes both ways! it's less apparent with kabru, because he's a lot more social than she is, but vitally, he lets the mask slip with her. she's the only character he goes out of his way to tease, and sometimes he takes it a little bit into "alright that was kind of mean" territory, which sucks of him but is kind of the point. kabru's interactions with rin are the earliest ones where we see him fuck up or be a little bit of an asshole, and that's almost certainly because she is a person he feels comfortable enough with to not try to game every conversation. kabru being a little bit of a bitch is the first time we see him not trying to be charismatic. and she gives it RIGHT BACK lmfao it really conveys the feeling that these two are kind of "safe people" for each other, even if they're bantering a little meanly. very charming, top-tier childhood friend dynamic, no notes.

editing to add:

^ YEAH THIS IS IT thank you @gerrykeay i think this really captures the spirit of her revulsion with regard to things like magic school (and its graduates), etc... she seems to think of magic school as this sort of lofty opportunity only people with a certain level of social standing are able to access (which seems to hold a level of truth) and reject it on the basis that something like that is fundamentally incompatible with who she is as a person, and that's probably the same reason she remains unaffiliated despite knowing practicing magic without organization ties is potentially dangerous for her. these systems rejected and failed her family and her, so she rejects them in kind.... god i'm so obsessed with the way practically every character has a main character backstory and motivations this really is like a ttrpg lol

[joelswritingmistress]

You Scare Me, Professor: Chapter 6

Summary: The reader is taking graduate classes at a local university in the wooded upstate New York. She is drawn to her professor, Dr. Joel Miller, though she is also inherently aware that he has something dark about him that she can't quite put her finger on. As the reader's attraction grows deeper, she has to decide whether to endure the danger or run away as fast as possible.

Pairing: Professor Joel Miller x f!reader 

Did he just say that? He just said that. Right?

I wondered if I had somehow inserted that last excerpt from Dr. Miller’s mouth into the conversation on my own. Had my mind made it up because I wanted him so badly?

He was smiling now, not at all able to fight it back. I could tell that he was attempting to without avail.

“Does that make you uncomfortable?” His voice caused my knees to part under the table. I didn’t know if it was instinctual or if the muscles in my legs had suddenly just turned to Jello but I literally felt myself melt down further into the oversized mahogany chair.

“That, uh..” I toyed with a strand of my hair for a half-a-second in my nervous tic, “That makes me a lot of things.”

“Another round?” The waitress appeared out of thin air and I was about to speak but Dr. Miller responded, with a simple, “We’ll take the check.”

I wanted to stay. When he was so eager to get the check after just one drink I couldn’t fight off the look of discouragement that was written all over my face. I knew what I must have looked like and I couldn’t reel it in. And then I thought about it some more. Maybe he was getting the check because he wanted to go somewhere else.

Like his house. It was wishful thinking.

“Stop looking like someone just shit in your cereal.” His accompanying laughter made me grin. There had to be something up his sleeve. This night couldn’t end with such an obscene, suggestive comment and lead nowhere.

“Didn’t want another drink?” I asked, trying to sound casual.

“It’s a school night. We both have to be up early.”

“It’s barely nine o’clock.”

Dr. Miller gave a chuckle again and then looked up as the waitress handed him a black, leather case with the tab for two drinks tucked inside. He held up a finger, slipped a one hundred dollar bill inside and then handed it to her.

“I’ll be back with your change,” replied the woman.

“It’s yours.” He looked me in the eye as he spoke to her again and then began rising to his feet as he reached for his coat.

I followed his lead and allowed him to lead us out of the place.

“I’ll walk you to your car.”

Was the night really over? On that note? On that red hot amorous note that had been left with a teetering, ‘dot, dot, dot’ next to it. To be continued? Would it?

Stop freaking out! My brain was screaming, shrieking; throwing a fit like a five year old in Toys ‘R Us that didn’t get the toy she wanted to play with. On the outside I smiled, gripped my keys and tried not to stare for too long as I walked beside Dr. Miller.

“You never gave an elaboration to your response,” he said to me once we stood by the driver’s side door in front of the old church.

I looked down and back up. “Should I elaborate?”

“I’d like to know where we stand.” He looked at me with certainty but, again, there was the slightest hint of uneasiness in his posture. Dr. Miller was tense in his shoulders and it traveled up his neck into his jaw as he waited.

“So would I,” I responded, taking a breath. I couldn’t look away from those brown eyes that were swelled black around the pupil. I knew what that meant - at least I thought I did.

“Well, how about this?” He took a step in my direction so there were only a few inches between us. “If you want to discuss it further, I’m opening up my office hours during our regularly scheduled class time on Thursday. Seven-thirty, I’ll walk you into the building, myself.”

I cleared my throat. Of course I was going to go. “Thursday.” I gave a little nod, wishing I had something to say that would affect him as much as he was currently affecting me.

“Email me if you change your mind.”

“I won’t,” I said right away. My chest heaved beneath my jacket and I opened my mouth to speak. At first nothing came out but then I finally asked the question that had been on my mind for the past seven or eight minutes, “Was that true what you said?”

“Which part?”

“About the elevator.” I swallowed hard now and Dr. Miller laughed again.

“Save all of your questions for Thursday at seven-thirty.” He took a step toward me and then nodded toward my vehicle, “Now get in your car so I know you’re safe.”

I looked at his lips. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to lean in and see if he reciprocated, but from what I could tell of Dr. Miller, he was a forthright individual. If he wanted to kiss me, he would kiss me. He wanted to tell me about his racy musings when we were alone in the elevator. He wanted me to meet him alone at the school on Thursday. If he didn’t lean in for a kiss that means he didn’t want one.

Yet, I told myself.

I hit the button on my key fob and heard the click as my headlights flickered to let everyone in the immediate area know I had just unlocked the car.

“Goodnight (Y/N).” Dr. Miller gave a pained smile that emphasized the crow’s feet on the outskirts of his eyes.

“Goodnight Dr. Miller.” He didn’t correct me this time or ask me to refer to him as Joel. I knew at least a part of him liked having the title roll off my willing lips to acknowledge his authority over me.

Shutting my car door might as well have been shutting the jail cell. I gave a wave and started up the vehicle before reluctantly backing away from where he now stood on the walkway.

Even as I drove down the road, I glanced in my rearview mirror until I could no longer see his figure there and then finally turned the corner to head towards home.

The next day-and-a-half had me worrying about myself. My behavior felt obsessive. I had inspected every social media outlet in search of Joel Miller but there was nothing. He didn't even have a LinkedIn. That one, I had to say, surprised me.

No Snapchat. No Instagram. No Facebook. Nothing.

For my own senseless reasons it frustrated me. I wanted to know more about him. I wanted to see a collection of pictures from his life over the course of the past decade. I decided I was spoiled for having access to just about anyone else's life I wanted to dig into.

Maybe I should put my profiles on private. It was Dr. Miller's casual piece of advice. Anyone could dig into my life and I was too concerned about getting “likes” than I was my own privacy. 

I'm a walking cliche of today's pre-thirty generation. 

Seeing as though my plan to gain access to Dr. Miller's life fell flat on the pavement, I carefully adjusted the private settings on all of my accounts. It had been a suggestion echoed to me by numerous friends and professionals that I hadn't taken seriously; yet here I was after one fleeting proposition from a man I just met making the meager change to my digital identity.

After work on Wednesday I found myself driving past The Library. My eyes scanned for the black Mercedes and I was actually satisfied in knowing that Dr. Miller wasn't out at the bar - at least when I drove by. It allowed my brain to rest rather than toy with the idea of dropping everything to go search inside for him.

Yes, I was officially obsessing. It felt like a violation of not only Dr. Miller's privacy, but also my own sanity.

It didn't stop me from repeating the action on the following afternoon after work. My amateur investigations weren't particularly thorough, though I assumed his car would stand out if he had been around, especially when my eyes were actively seeking out one specific automobile. 

There was a light at the end of the tunnel, however. It was Thursday. It was the evening I would be attending Dr. Miller's office hours.

Office hours. I was sure he hadn't actually posted any office hours. I was going to be alone with him.

In all of my years I hadn't had an off-kilter fantasy. My brain had never fancied the idea of taboo love affairs, or men in uniform or any of the typical sexual scenarios that I had heard others speak about.

Now, the idea of letting my handsome, older professor take me on his desk was enough to ignite a fire in every single part of my body - my head, my heart, my soul, my.. everything.

I wouldn't deny him. Correction, I couldn't deny him. I had created the scenario in my mind time after time. It was far too heavy a weight on my shoulders by now to just shy away from. I wanted Dr. Miller in the worst way.

Tori, my roommate, eyed me suspiciously as I exited my bedroom that evening. My clothes were casual, though rather than a sweatshirt and my white Converse sneakers I wore knee-high, brown boots and a tight, gray sweater that revealed just a bit of cleavage. 

My ponytail was replaced by perfectly straightened hair and just a tad more than the average amount of makeup I typically sported. Yes, if our roles had been reversed I would have had questions. Unless we were going out somewhere I always slummed it in the most comfortably acceptable clothes I could manage.

“Umm..” My roommate’s eyebrows pressed together, “Do you have a date I don't know about?”

I decided to meet her questions in the middle. “I'm going to a quick study session.” Tori gave me an ‘I don't believe you’ look and so I went on, “And then I'm going out with a guy I met at school.”

My professor, I added in my mind.

Not quite a lie. Not quite the truth. But she seemed to believe it and so I smiled when she offered me good luck.

“I'll fill you in,” I lied, knowing whatever happened that evening I would surely be keeping to myself - at least for the time being. Although I loathed the ‘YOLO’ expression, there was a time for everything and so I reminded myself, you only live once.

The drive to Woodbridge had my stomach in knots. I didn't know what was going to happen. Suddenly I wondered if I would even know what to do. I was twenty-seven. I had had sex before - plenty of it actually. I wasn't a nun.. but I wasn't a freak either. What was Dr. Miller expecting? He had certainly been around the block a time or two.

The faintest hint of sweat coated my hairline, a result of my budding anxiety. I couldn't wait, but then again I was so completely out of my league. I had never met a man so sure of himself. The guys I had dated, we were on an even playing field. I felt like a fan in the stands of a rock concert that was just called on stage to sing with Bon Jovi.

Stop putting him on such a pedestal, I told myself; though I truly couldn't help it. All reason had betrayed me.

The black Mercedes was there when I pulled into the lot and I saw Dr. Miller casually step out of his vehicle the second my blinker winked in favor of the parking lot on the left off the main road that cut through campus.

I parked closer to the building and slowly climbed out of the car as he approached. I knew I was a mess. There was no hiding what I was feeling. I was sure he might even be able to hear the thudding of my heart in my chest.

“I offered to walk you in,” he reminded me, to which I nodded as we walked in silence through the threshold of the academic enclosure.

Dr. Miller walked with a purpose toward the elevator in the main lobby, eagerly pressing the down button that would lead us to the basement where his office and our lecture hall sat vacant.

I thought of his words from Tuesday night at the bar as the doors opened and we entered. There were no other people in the building that I saw. There were no cameras in the elevator. As the doors shut with a resounding thump I side-glanced at my professor.

Out of my peripheral vision I could see how tensely straight he stood. His eyes were straight ahead; focused. He didn't blink or move. It almost looked as if he was holding his breath.

Please. I begged him in my mind, though I have to say when the doors reopened and we emerged to the basement level I was disappointed that he didn't immediately try to jump my bones. The opportunity had presented itself for Dr. Miller to do all the dirty things he claimed to have been craving and he hadn't even flinched on the ride. It was okay, now, wasn't it? Now that he knew I was a willing participant.

You're being ridiculous. I was currently questioning my every thought, my every word, my every move.

The stillness of the typically buzzing building heightened my anxiety. It felt as if butterflies were having a rave inside of my stomach. The only sound that gave a mild echo off the walls of the vacant corridor were the gentle clicks of Dr. Miller's shoes.

My temperature felt like it was rising with each door we passed. I counted them to maintain some level-headedness.

One. Two. Three. Four.

When the fifth door came into clear view, Dr. Miller reached a hand into his khakis and removed a ring of keys. 

Next to the oversized, wooden door was a black piece of plastic with Dr. Miller’s name etched into it. Below his name was the door number: 007.

Of course it is, I thought, almost smiling and rolling my eyes. The heat returned to my cheeks, however, when my gaze met his from just a few inches away.

I swallowed hard when the silver key eased into the door handle, glancing down for just a second, before regaining his eyes.

There was a moment of hesitation on Dr. Miller's part before he finally turned the key and let the door swing open from a little push of his forearm.

“After you.” His arm extended outward now and the light automatically went on as I crossed through the threshold. “Can I get you something to drink?” 

He waltzed in, loosening his tie a bit as he rounded an oversized, espresso desk. 

“Umm.. no.” I shook my head, “No I'm fine.”

The corner of Dr. Miller's mouth tipped up in a little smirk. “Please, have a seat.” He motioned to a chair across from where he made himself comfortable and leaned forward with both hands folded on top of the desk.

I did as I was told. On the surface I thought I appeared like I had my shit together; like I wasn't imagining him pinning me down on the desk and having his way with me; like I wasn't conflicted about whether my feelings on the matter were wrong or right; or if he could lose his job if something did happen between us.

The man had a way of building tension. The brief moment of silence that lingered was deafening. His stare was almost too much for me. I wanted to say something, anything, but I couldn't find the words to kick off a conversation.

“I assume you still have the question in your mind.” Dr. Miller finally spoke. “From the other night.”

My chest heaved up and down once from a breath I hadn't realized I had been holding. I opened my mouth to speak but I was interrupted.

“Dr. Miller!” An overzealous young man waved a stack of papers and held an IPad under his arm as he entered through the open door from the hallway.

I held my breath for half-a-second. It was Trevor Nelson. I had had two classes with him and his sheer presence alone was enough to drive me crazy. Right then, he was the bane of my existence. What was he doing here?

His stammering repetition of Dr. Miller’s name almost led me to a physical eye roll.

“Good evening.” Dr. Miller extended his arm out and Trevor eagerly shook it. “Remind me again of your-”

“Trevor,” he more-or-less shouted, glancing at me briefly.

I could see Dr. Miller was taken off-guard, though it was his organically, suave nature that allowed him to get through the unwanted conversation with ease.

“What can I do for you Trevor?”

“I just wanted to discuss a few points from the reading if you had a moment,” Trevor said, “And seeing as though you sent out an email with office hours I suspected you had the time.”

Office hours. He did send out his office hours.

Fuck! Was I all wrong?

“Yes,” Dr. Miller motioned to a second chair beside me. “I wasn't expecting you,” he admitted, “I sent out a sign up sheet-”

“My Wifi kept malfunctioning,” Trevor went on, cutting him off. “I tried. And that's why I printed some things out. I just assumed you would be here anyway and..” He shrugged and then looked at me for the first time, “I'm surprised to see you here.”

Dr. Miller huffed a laugh now. He looked at me with raised eyebrows as if to study what my reaction would be. What would I say to Trevor’s snide remark?

His very tone and uppity attitude was the precise reason why I couldn't stand him.

“I had questions about the reading, as well.” I remained cordial. There was no way I was about to air out a petty reply that would make me seem bitter or immature in my ways.

“Well.. great. We can bounce questions off one another then.” Trevor forced a smile that, while mum, seemed to have the same whiny tone as his nasally voice. 

“I blocked off twenty minute time slots,” Dr. Miller reminded him. “I have another appointment at 7:50.”

My stomach dropped and our eyes caught one another’s. He winked as Trevor took a fleeting peek at his watch with as much disappointment as I knew my face had suddenly been white-washed with.

Despite the wink I couldn't tell if he was serious or lying. Was Trevor really fucking up my twenty minutes alone with Dr. Miller? Was there another student coming in at ten of eight?

As my classmate began his vexatious ramblings I felt a burning hostility brewing in my core. At one point Dr. Miller's foot grazed mine beneath the table but he didn't look in my direction as it happened.

I decided I had to harness my disdain, which I knew was heightened to an unwarranted degree for poor Trevor. I actively told myself to stop being a jerk.

The genuine question that I had from the reading the other night popped into my head. Hallelujah, reason prevailed.

“If it's not too morbid, do you think whoever killed the girl on campus might be suffering from Antisocial Personality Disorder?” It was my first genuine attempt to engage in the conversation. 

Typically, I truly did enjoy the subject matter. That night, however, my mind was deep in the gutter. That's why I had to run with the lone, pertinent thought that inhabited my brain.

Dr. Miller turned and a small smile formed on his face. The dimples that drove me crazy were out in full force and I could see he was intrigued by my question.

“Interesting.” He leaned back in his seat and folded one leg over the other. “Depending on the motive I could entertain it as a possibility.”

I smiled wide, enjoying his mild praise.

“That is an interesting question,” Trevor added.

My eyes shifted toward Trevor for a second as he eyed the ceiling as he pondered my question. When I looked back, Dr. Miller had tipped his mouth up in a half-smirk again.

When Trevor came back down to earth, our professor motioned to the clock above me on the wall. “I'm sorry to kick you out.” Dr. Miller looked directly at Trevor now, “I think we've ended this session with a valid question that we can open with during Tuesday's class.” He rose to his feet and extended an arm in my classmate’s direction, “Sit on that idea over the weekend. Bring some notes to class.” He glanced at me and added, “I think that was a great topic of conversation Ms. (Y/LN).”

“Thank you.” I gave a little nod and Trevor appeared appeased as the three of us began a natural shift toward the door.

“Thank you for your time Dr. Miller.” The young man smiled and tucked his IPad back under his arm before vacating the room ahead of me. He turned for a second and asked, “Do you think they'll catch whoever killed that girl?”

My gaze switched from Trevor to Dr. Miller and he sucked his teeth while folding his hands together on top of the table. “I'm no investigator,” he said, “But if you want my honest opinion..” a breath exited through his nose and he finished with a simple, “No. No, I don't.”

“Why not?” Trevor leaned an arm on the door and Dr. Miller laughed while motioning to the clock again.

“Save it for another time.”

Like Trevor, I wanted to know his reasoning; though I didn't dig deeper into it right then. As intriguing and scary as it all was, other emotions were tugging at my core.

“I'll see you in class,” Trevor said, though I didn't know if he was speaking to me or our professor. 

I wasn't so quick to leave, but I knew it was time. I hadn't expected Dr. Miller to actually post office hours so it was probable that there was another student about to arrive.

Was it a female student? Yep, sparked jealousy inside of me.

When Dr. Miller didn't immediately make a plea for me to stay, I wandered through the open door toward the hallway.

And then I jumped. It was almost inhuman how fast his arm wrapped around my midsection and pulled me back into the room with him with the ferocity of a wolf mauling a lamb.

A gasp escaped my lips when he turned me around to face him as the door closed and my back planted against it. It was all one giant obscure action; a whirlwind of tension released when our bodies were finally pressed up against one another's and I was left panting.

“I thought you had another-”

His finger found my lips to shut me up. A wicked smile advertised his true intentions and his blackened eyes could have set me ablaze right there.

“You are as gullible as your friend Trevor.”

Before I could respond his lips crashed against mine. They literally crashed leaving the back of my head slamming against the thick wood behind me. I barely felt it. 

What I did feel was a rush of adrenaline and desire and a thirst for the man that I couldn't suppress - not when his hands were roaming my body and his tongue aggressively penetrated my lips.

I could barely keep up. I had built the moment up so much and now that I was wrapped up in the middle of this avid tornado of passion it had far surpassed my fantasies.

My arms wrapped high around his shoulders, though he quickly pinned them above my head against the door with one hand. His other hand hastily fiddled in his pocket to remove a set of keys, at which time my cheeks blushed a more fiery red when I saw his arousal peaking the front of his khakis.

My eyes were the only part of me capable of moving freely. The rest of me was a willing prisoner to the force of his body against mine. I never wanted to be released.

Dr. Miller's key slipped into the slot in the center of the doorknob and a click secured us behind closed doors.

With an echoing clank the keys hit the floor and my aching, vacant lips were welcomed back with the immediate warmth of his. When his hand released both of mine on the door my arms instinctively wrapped around him again. I was on cloud nine; in a state of mindless bliss. For the first time, possibly ever, I thought of nothing and just acted without reserve.

It was only when I struggled to breathe that I took a parting breath, allowing air back into my aching lungs. Dr. Miller groaned with the brief separation though it gave him the second he needed to wrestle with the button on my jeans.

In that one swift movement of his fingers he had access to everything I had to offer. I bit my lip in anticipation of him touching me for the first time. Just before my eyes were forced shut I saw his hungry eyes drinking in every part of me.

Dr. Miller's over-pronounced sigh accompanied the sensation of his first two fingers as they made home against my most sensitive areas.

I moaned as quietly as possible, though he made the task more difficult when his lips grazed the area just beneath my ear.

I let out a louder moan when his fingers pushed inside of me and his hot breath landed on my neck, the other cupped over my mouth and my eyes suddenly snapped open.

“Shhh..” Dr. Miller gave a hushed reminder that we weren't exactly in our own private love shack while his fingers continued their exploration. “We wouldn't want Trevor to wander back here because he heard a suspicious noise would we?”

Slowly, his hand was removed from across my mouth. I reached a hand down toward his waist but he swatted it away.

“You're not ready for that yet,” he growled, still speaking in a voice just above a whisper.

I was paralyzed. Paralyzed by pleasure. Paralyzed by the thrill. Paralyzed by my raw attraction to Dr. Miller. At that moment I didn't think I could speak if I tried.

A brand new combination of nervousness and arousal made home within me when his free hand now lingered on my throat. The barely-there pressure added something to what I had been feeling all along.

“You like that?” It was closer to a statement than a question but I choked out a whispered, “Yes,” in response.

There was a shake in my legs that I couldn't relieve. Dr. Miller felt it. There was no way he didn't. I was writhing beneath him against the door as the distance between my parted feet on the floor widened with the spread of my legs.

It didn't take long to reach my climax that was induced by his fingers, his hand on my throat, and the dirty nothings he whispered as he encouraged my impending orgasm.

I struggled to maintain my composure. As the first curse word escaped my lips his hand more forcefully clamped over my mouth again, though all the same his lips found my ear again as he encouraged me to, “Let it out,” in a hiss of whisper.

That was the final push. Fireworks might as well have gone off in my lower half as my muffled moans sounded off against the warmth of his palm. My eyes alternated between open and closed in those final seconds and Dr. Miller's provocative growling voice took my right back to the dream I’d had. This was no dream.

The shot of adrenaline had filtered through my body, numbing my limbs like some type of drug had just been injected into my veins.

Fuck! For several seconds I could only focus on the pleasure as I breathed heavily in and out in an attempt to remain quiet.

When I began to come down off the high. All of my senses began to return and I could hear my own breathing as his generous hand warily crept back out from beneath my damp panties.

A smile formed on my face as he stared at him. I was hot and disheveled. My pants were still down off my waist and as I went to tug them back up Dr. Miller stopped me.

“Oh we're not done yet,” he assured me, glancing over his shoulder toward the oversized desk. When he turned back around he reached for my hand and towed me across the room. I felt like I was floating.

When he made himself comfortable in the oversized chair, I just stared at him. With the two fingers that had just been inside of me he waved for me to come to him and pulled me down in for another heated kiss before whispering against my lips. “Now you're going to get down on your knees and return the favor.”

CLICK HERE FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER

@untamedheart81 @amyispxnk @grogusmum @michilandcof @morallyinept @akah565 @cesspitoflove @brittmb115

[reotheworld]

hi, don't really know about your rules so feel free to ignore this! I was wondering if you could do how yan!merman! Kaiser would be with his darling, how does he act, interact, etc. (maybe a little bit suggestive if you can?) have a lovely day!

part of your world

❝ from head to toe, you are mine ❞

➜ yandere!merman!kaiser with a human!fem!darling

➜ fem!reader

sugar level: 20% | suggestive at the end!

fairy tales are merely short yet magical stories mothers tell to their children to help fall asleep quickly. such stories typically feature mythical enchantments and fanciful beings, never meant to believe in. but what happens when the line between real and not blurs?

just like a blue rose, they are only works of imagination, a good work of fantasy yet it's mysterious allure is what makes it unattainable. what happens when the impossible becomes possible?

michael kaiser is the merman every mermaid mother want their daughters to marry because of his good looks, excellent controlling nature and many more. however, be that the case, he's not the least interested in mermaids.

he craved for something that could challenge him, someone who is beyond his reach. have them be a part of his world.

the day he decided to admire another world by the shore is the day he caught sight of your wandering figure, crouching down on the sand, one bucket in hand while the other picked up sea shells and colorful sea stones.

he knew that humans and mermaids aren't supposed to come into contact together, to remain their kind a secret but the sight of you oh so carefree, beautiful and enchanting had him speechless. his heart fluttered, something he never thought he could experience until now.

you who is a refreshing and mesmerizing view. you who is exactly beyond his reach. either way, he'll make you submit to him.

he spent the rest of the mornings watching and observing you, when you wouldn't collect shells and stones, you'd take a walk all by yourself or build sand castles. and as each day passed, he didn't cared if he could expose his kind, he wanted to have you.

"if you want a variety, i can help you with that."

"ah!"

slowly, kaiser treads through the water to come closer to you, his eyes never leaving your figure.

"do you not get lonely too?" he asks, finally stopping right in front of you, upper half of his body exposed to you.

you gave him a small smile, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. "why would i be lonely?"

"i always see you every day and at the same time, all by yourself." he tells you, excitement rushing through him as he is finally talking to you.

"so you've been watching me." you respond, slowly sitting down on top of the golden sandy shores. "i'm not lonely anymore, i have you now."

his eyes widened at the response you gave him. heart thumping wildly as if it would burst out of his chest. a human acknowledging his presence. that response alone had him fallen completely in love with you.

"in what grounds do you think i could be a good company to you?" he asks, an impressive grin painting his lips.

"i just know" you reply, smiling to him.

oh how you wish you could take those words back. the words you gave to the very first you meet him, the words you wish you knew what it would mean to him.

you're now in the palm of his hand; finest pearls weaved into a necklace or earring, abundant sea shells enclosed around a large clam shell, miscellaneous trinkets that can only be found in the deepest crevices of the sea are now in your rightful possession.

no other person on land has these finer treasures apart from you. such luster, shape and consistency would have heads turning to look your way.

"there's no need for you to go back to that world, darling." he'd whisper into your ear as the two of you watch the sunset, his arms wrapped around your colorless figure. "the sea will welcome you with open arms."

"you'll love it when you're a hundred feet deep, i'll be your guide getting in, i won't let you drown. you trust me, right?" he asks, whispering in your ear as his fingers held your chin, turning your head to look at him.

trusting him is your choice. but it's kaiser that used that choice into something cynical.

shifting positions to have you seated on top of his waist, he pushes your bodies and kaiser had never felt so pleased with the skin to skin contact. admiring your figure clad in a yellow bikini, a sight he'll always remember even with eyes closed.

and not a moment too soon, he finally press his lips on yours. kissing you deeply and passionately; one hand cupped around your left cheek and the other on your waist, slipping between your legs. squeezing your warm pussy before rubbing your clit, tongues intertwining and dancing.

abandoning his common sense, his arms gripped around your figure, diving down into the water but with you this time.

[sevensoulmates]

Buddie 7x04 Meta Part 4 (of 4)

Click here for part 1, part 2, and part 3.

This is the last part so it probably won't be as long (hopefully).

This entire conversation with Tommy includes a lot of references to Eddie. Whether Eddie's mad, how Eddie feels, why Eddie would like Tommy, how Eddie/Chris feel about Buck, how Eddie is such a great person and everyone would want to be friends with him, etc. Even when they're not talking about Eddie, they're talking about Eddie. And I love the idea of Tommy and Eddie being friends. Because honestly at the end of the day, it was Buck who was projecting more than friendship onto Tommy and Eddie's relationship. Queer men can have platonic friends that they like without wanting to be with them, and it genuinely does seem like that's what Tommy and Eddie are to each other. Their chemistry wasn't all in Buck's head, but how the two of them together made Buck feel? That was so real and super super telling.

Here's callback number ∞ to the streetfighting arc. This line in particular borrows a very particular...word...from a very particular grocery store fight. In 3x05, Eddie is the maddest he's ever been at Buck because Buck starting the lawsuit meant "I couldn't even talk to you", "Do you know how much Christopher misses you? How could you you weren't around?", "because you're exhausting!" Exhausting has been a buzzword in the Buddie fandom for many years and most people use it as an excuse for overdone and unnecessary Buck whump, but it's an interesting choice here. Especially in conjunction with Buck's acknowledgment of "making everything about him" which is another thing that is mentioned in the same episode 3x05 AS WELL AS in 3x09. But now, it's being used in a different context. Buck is falsely ascribing all of his attempts to get Eddie's attention over the last however many days to trying to get Tommy's attention. Even Tommy's like huh? "My attention?"

Lou places emphasis on "my". "My attention?" So even Tommy knows that this whole time Buck has been trying to get Eddie's attention. He's surprised that Buck is suddenly saying it's been about Tommy the whole time when quite obviously, it has not been.

Even Buck himself is not so certain about that. He "guesses so" because in this moment he's feeling infatuation, a connection with Tommy, a warm feeling that maybe reminds him of how he felt in the early days getting to know Eddie. He "guesses so" because that's the easy explanation to a question that's been circling his mind non-stop the past few days. It's an answer, and as we know Buck is always seeking an answer. It's a "for now readily available easy explanation" that Buck can take at face value because it means he can sleep easy at night knowing that his place with Eddie is safe again for the time being.

Even just a couple of seconds before the kiss happens, Buck brings up Eddie one last time in case you forget who's always on Buck's mind. He then mentions Maddie's words "There are better ways to get someone's attention", before he's interrupted. But before I dive into the kiss, I want to mention the implications that Tommy believes the best way to get someone's attention when you like them, instead of getting jealous, is to kiss them. It's an interesting suggestion, that all of this time, instead of all Buck's stupid peacocking attempts to try and get Eddie's attention this episode...he could've just kissed him. Foreshadowing? Only time will tell.

And boom. There we have it folks. Tommy kisses Buck, and the lightbulb goes off. Buck is attracted to men, he likes men AND women. This is 911's definitive statement that yes, we were right, Buck is bisexual, has been this whole time, and will always be in the future. And no, it's not just in relation to Eddie (which by the way is an IMPORTANT distinction). Buck is attracted to men in general, he's a bisexual man, and the show is not doing a "gay for you" trope here. They're committing to Buck being a queer man and this opens a world of new doors for him.

And again, I've said it once and I'll say it again: finally letting Buck realize his bisexuality, and act on it ON SCREEN (not just a throw-away mention) is REVOLUTIONARY. This representation is incredibly important and Buck's bisexuality on its own, separate from any love interest, will always be a part of him. Whether you like Tommy or not, that's not what matters. What matters is that Buck is realizing he can find happiness with a man. And more than likely, he will end up with a man, not because he has to, but because his perfect partner in the show has already been proven to be a man.

Eddie Diaz.

With this kiss, we are officially on the path towards Buddie. Buck kissing Tommy, or having a temporary relationship with him does not negate that. Just like Buck was always going to end up with Eddie even through his relationships with Abby, Ali, Taylor, and Natalia. Tommy is no different. And if after four long essays explaining point by point why that is true isn't enough to open your eyes, then I simply can't help you anymore.

Some last tidbits:

This reminded me of the Lonestar crossover where Eddie begs Marjan to "for the love of God, please follow Buck back on Insta." Just interesting since Eddie x Marjan was another fake-out love interest coupling.

And finally, the last 3x09 callback. This reminded me of the line when Buck says Eddie wanted to throw punches at him, Eddie says "I wouldn't do that", gives him a seductive look, and then says "You're on blood thinners". To which Buck says his famous "I could still take you". Yet another verbal comparison of Tommy to Eddie.

Final thoughts: This episode was fucking amazing (I really liked Athena's story too). This episode was more than enough proof for me that Buck and Eddie are going to get together. Buck is bisexual and FREE!!!!!!!

We were right about that, we're gonna be right about Eddie, and we're gonna be right about Buddie. Just unclench and enjoy the ride.

And for my fellow warriors who've been in the trenches for years telling everyone that the story will get there eventually, I salute us all! I hope yesterday's episode was vindication for you all as much as it was for me. I had a blast working with you all. See you all again for our celebrations when Eddie comes out and Buddie becomes canon. For now, I hope everyone had a Happy Bi Buck day!!

Full meta: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

[octoberclidan]

I Can't Lose You

Pairing: Sam Winchester x reader, Dean Winchester x reader (platonic)

Summary: Reader (she/her) is a hunter who lives in the bunker with the boys. She's had a crush on Sam for about a year now, and she's finding it increasingly difficult to push her feelings down. When she's abducted and tortured by demons, Sam and Dean have to find her. Sam realises that he also has feelings for her, and if she was really gone it would leave a giant hole in his life.

Note: this was written by myself for myself; there are probably mistakes. My first language is English but I'm not American, so it may sound weird in places if you happen to be American reading it. If you do happen to come across this and spend time reading it, I hope you enjoy it somewhat!

Masterlist

Story:

[Y/N]'s alarm beeped and woke her from a dreamless sleep. It was the first night in almost a month where she hadn't had a nightmare. [Y/N] had been a hunter since she was a teenager. She was experienced, skilled, strategic, but she would never claim to be fearless. Sure, in the heat of the moment she had no problem fighting ghosts or werewolves or demons. But at night, the fear would catch up with her and turn sweet dreams to terror. She pushed her blanket back and stretched before swinging her legs over the side of the bed. They had been on a week long hunt and only got back to the bunker two days ago, she was still catching up on sleep. As much as she adored Sam, she would give anything to not hear a 'so get this' come from his lips today.

[Y/N] made her way to the kitchen to find Dean had already finished his morning coffee and was now enjoying some crispy bacon. "Hey" Dean smiled at her as she sat down. "Hey" he repeated, but this time with a frown as she stole a piece of his bacon. "Too lazy to make your own?" She just shrugged at him and continued eating.

"Where's Sam?"

"You don't know where your boyfriend is? Thought you'd want to keep tabs on him" He smirked at her while she rolled her eyes.

"He's not my boyfriend." She muttered, glancing away from Dean to grab another piece of his bacon.

"He's probably out for his morning jog. I told him last night not to go looking for a new case today, I think we could all use a break."

"I think that's probably for the best, that last hunt took its toll on all of us" [Y/N] sighed as she was relieved that she wasn't the only one who needed a rest. Dean was like an older brother to her, always looking out for her, there when she needed a serious chat or just someone to goof off with. She looked up to him, figuratively and literally. He could be a bit over-protective at times but she was okay with that since she knew it just meant he cared about her.

[Y/N] did not think of Sam as a brother. They were friends, but they wouldn't have as close a relationship and she and Dean had. She tried not to get too close to him out of fear of becoming too attached and then facing rejection. She lived in the bunker, it was her home, but it was theirs first. If she made things awkward with Sam she knew she wouldn't be able to live there anymore. So, she settled for hiding her feelings for the taller Winchester.

"How would you feel about a movie day? You, me, Sam. There are some classics I know neither of you have watched yet. We could set up the Dean Cave and just chill out for the day? Maybe give you and Sammy an opportunity to cosy up. Just not like, too cosy. 'Cause I'll be there." Dean suggested.

"A movie day does sound good... do we have any snacks?" [Y/N] ignored Dean's comment about Sam.

"Hmm I don't think so, we haven't really restocked since we got back from the hunt. You wanna go get some while I set up the room? Or we could wait for Sam to get back and then make him get some snacks, but you know he'll probably come back with some healthy shit".

"You can trust me to come back with some unhealthy shit". [Y/N] smiled at him.

"A girl after my own heart" Dean winked at her. "You know if you ever lose interest in Sam, we could give it a shot". There was a twinkle of mischief in his eyes as he teased her. [Y/N] rolled her eyes again and this time they landed on a sweaty Sam, who had just appeared in the kitchen. He greeted them while pulling his earphones out and grabbing a glass of water. [Y/N] knew she was staring at him, but she couldn't look away. Sam was extremely tall, broad, muscular, and sculpted like a marble statue. There were scars from past hunts, but they only enhanced his natural perfections. She imagined what it would feel like to touch his shoulders, or his back, or his abs, or-

"Think Sammy's eyes are a bit higher up [Y/N/N]" Dean gave her a knowing smile and she turned bright red, snapping out of it and averting her gaze.

"What are you two talking about?" Asked Sam.

"Nothing" [Y/N] answered a bit too quickly and Dean chuckled at her.

"[Y/N] and I were just talking about the three of us having a movie marathon today, you in? She's gonna go get snacks, you can help me set up the Dean Cave"

"Sure, yeah sounds good! Or I could help you with the supply run? We probably need stuff other than snacks too". Sam turned his attention towards [Y/N]. The fact that she knew she was already blushing just embarrassed her further; she needed to get out of there before she overheated.

"No that's... that's okay, I want to go out for a walk and clear my head anyway before we watch movies all day." [Y/N] quickly stood up and left the kitchen as fast as she could to get to her room and collect her bag and phone.

"What's up with her today?" Sam asked Dean. Dean just shrugged, it wasn't much fun teasing [Y/N] when she was no longer in the room.

***

[Y/N] had left Sam and Dean to sort out the Dean Cave for their movie day and was on her way to the local store to pick up some snacks and drinks. It was quiet around, and she was enjoying the walk, glad to get some fresh air after essentially living in her bed for the last two days. It helped cool down her cheeks too after the kitchen incident. She tried to focus on the music she was listening to and try to push the image of Sam out of her head. It wasn't that far, she would be back within an hour without having to drive and she needed to get herself under control before then.

[Y/N] took out one of her earphones when she heard a noise behind her. She had only turned her head halfway when she felt something hit the side of her head, and then fell into darkness.

***

"Is she taking the scenic route or something? She's been gone two hours". Dean was getting inpatient. He and Sam had finished getting everything ready an hour ago, and now all that was missing was [Y/N] and the snacks.

Sam looked at his watch and frowned at it, "you're right, she should be long back by now".

Dean took out his phone to call her and Sam watched as it rang out. Dean tried a second time, then a third before leaving a voice mail asking why she wasn't picking up her phone.

"I'm going to track it". Sam rushed to his laptop and began trying to track her phone. A brief moment of relief washed over him, she was only about ten minutes away from the bunker. He frowned at the screen when he noticed that she didn't seem to be moving, the phone was staying in the one place. Dean leaned over his shoulder to look at what seemed to be concerning Sam.

"What's she doing?" He asked.

"Nothing, hasn't moved in the last few minutes".

The two of them stared at at the screen for a few more minutes, and Dean noticed Sam starting to get fidgety, tapping his fingers and bouncing his leg.

"Alright, let's go" Dean took the keys to Baby and they both set out to go see what she was doing, and why she wasn't answering her phone.

***

"Dean pull over, she's supposed to be here." Sam barely waited for the car to fully stop before he had the door open and was looking around for [Y/N]. He was ready to check his phone again to see if she'd moved when he spotted it. Lying in the grass, beside her bag, was [Y/N]'s phone. She wasn't there.

"What is it?" Asked Dean, who was now also out of the car and jogging over to join Sam.

"Her phone, her bag. She's not here Dean."

"She's currently occupied". A voice sounded behind them and and they both spun around to see a woman, who smiled at them and flashed black eyes.

"Demon". Muttered Sam.

"Very observant". The demon scoffed.

"Where is she?" Both Sam and Dean pulled out their guns, aiming straight at her. Unfortunately their blades were still in the car.

The demon smirked at them. "She's just going to help us with something. Now that you're both here though, you can help us too".

"Help with what? If you've hurt her I swear-"

"She's just a bit tied up. A bit of minor torture, nothing too permanent". The demon cut Sam off. "She's just going to give us the location of your so-called 'bunker', and tell us how to get in and disable whatever warding you have up, and then we'll be good and put her out of her misery. Of course now that you're both here, you could just tell us instead and as a deal, we'll let her go".

Sam looked to Dean with an almost pleading look. He knew they couldn't give the demon the location of the bunker, there were just too many dangerous objects and spells in there that they couldn't risk demons getting their hands on. He also knew that he needed [Y/N] back. Why hadn't he insisted on joining her on the supply run? Why did it take her being abducted to realise just how much he cared, just how much he was terrified of losing her? She had brightened up his life in so many ways since she joined them. When Dean yawned at him while he talked about science, or history, or politics, [Y/N] gave him her full attention. On countless occasions when he couldn't sleep he would find her in the Dean Cave watching a movie, and he could join her and would always enjoy the discussions they'd have after about the plot and characters. Whenever he offered a theory about a case, [Y/N] would never dismiss him. She could poke holes in his theories in a constructive manner, and fill in gaps; she had a way of making him think from different angles. She made him a better hunter. He needed her.

"We need proof that she's alive. Not a phone call. We need to see her". Dean was doing everything he could to not shoot the demon now, grab a blade and stab her. Unfortunately she was their only connection to [Y/N] right now. He needed to see that she was okay with his own eyes.

***

[Y/N] slowly opened her eyes, and was immediately hit with a burning pain on the side of her head, on her back, and all along her arms and legs. Her wrists were bound together behind the chair she sat on, and as she looked down she saw her clothes were damp with blood. It started to come back to her, she had been in and out of consciousness for a couple of hours now between being tortured for information. She had been threatened that they would continue the torture until she gave up information on Sam and Dean and the bunker. They didn't threaten death, but they offered it as a reward. They were demons, they'd simply continue with the pain for as long as it took her to break. This wasn't the first time [Y/N] had been in a situation like this, and she had rescued Sam and Dean from demons before too. She knew they would find her, she would just have to hold out long enough. The demon [Y/N] had been dealing with currently wasn't in the room, and before it came back and before [Y/N] lost consciousness again, she started to work on trying to loosen the rope around her wrists. They were tight, they hurt, but if she could just push the rope around her left wrist...

***

The demon opened the door to the basement where [Y/N] was being held captive, Sam and Dean following behind her. The blood completely drained from Sam's face when he saw [Y/N]. She had been captured before during hunts, but she had never looked this beaten up. Her eyes were closed and looked bruised. The sight caused Sam's anger to boil up to the surface and he glared at the demon who had made them leave their guns behind.

"Son of a bitch.. what the fuck did you do to her?" Dean growled at the demon.

"She's tough, I'll give her that". The demon laughed, and walked over to [Y/N], slowly and lightly dragging a knife over her arm. Not hurting, just teasing the boys.

"Get away from her. Now." Sam said through gritted teeth.

"Oh I will, it's part of our deal right? So, tell me where the bunker is and how to get in, and you can have your bitch back". The demon's smug face fell when [Y/N] jumped up behind her and wrapped the rope around the demon's neck. Dean immediately ran towards them to help hold the demon still while Sam began shouting out the exorcism spell as fast as his tongue would allow him to. The demon thrashed between [Y/N] and Dean, rocking her head into Dean's nose and elbowing [Y/N]'s stomach, but with one final shout she knocked her head back and a stream of black smoke came pouring out, before the body went limp.

Dean caught [Y/N] when she swayed and Sam ran to them, cupping [Y/N]'s face between his hands, trying to assess how much damage there was underneath the blood. He turned to Dean and saw his bloody nose, and then looked back at [Y/N] who had now completely lost consciousness again. Sam put his arms behind her back and under her knees and lifted her to his chest.

"We need to get her out of here. Back to the bunker". Dean tried to wipe away some of the blood from his nose.

"We need to get her to a hospital, look at her."

"No Sam, we don't know if that demon was working alone or if more are going to come for her, a hospital won't be safe enough. We need to get her back to the bunker now".

Sam sighed, he didn't feel right about not taking [Y/N] to a hospital, but he also knew Dean was right. The bunker was the safest place for her right now. They made their way outside to the Impala, and Sam lay [Y/N] down in the backseat before climbing in with her, placing her head on his lap. Dean started up the car and started driving even faster than he usually did. Sam stroked her hair and started to wipe the blood off her face with one of the wipes from Baby's first aid box. When he was wiping her chin here eyelids fluttered open.

"Sam?" Her voice was a whisper.

"Shh, I've got you. Rest [Y/N], you're safe and we're nearly home".

"The demon?"

"Back in hell. It can't hurt you anymore".

[Y/N] let her heavy eyelids close again and she drifted to sleep, feeling safe with Sam.

***

[Y/N] woke up, feeling disoriented at first but quickly realised she was back in the bunker. She was not in her room though, she was in Sam's bed. She smiled as she realised she was in his clothes, she had been stitched and bandaged up, and her hair had been washed. She pushed back the covers and slid her feet out onto the floor. Everywhere hurt, but she'd felt worse. She made her way out of Sam's room and along the corridor to the library, hoping to find one of the boys.

"Hey". She smiled when she walked in and found both of them sitting at a desk reading through some lore books. Dean had a black eye, from what looked like a broken nose. Sam didn't look to be injured but he had dark circles under his eyes and looked pale.

Dean looked up and smiled at her "Hey Sweetheart, how are you feeling?" She shrugged and moved closer to give him a hug before turning to Sam.

"Thank you for saving me".

Sam stood up and enveloped her in a hug, resting his chin on top of her head.

"I was so worried [Y/N]. We tracked your phone and when you weren't there with it I swear my heart stopped. When we found you.. I've never felt so angry in all my life. That can't happen again. I can't lose you. I haven't slept since we got back two days ago, just waiting for you to wake up and be okay"

"I'm here Sam. I'm okay"

He leaned back and tucked some hair behind her ear and his eyes flickered to her lips and back to her eyes again. Feeling a bit of courage she couldn't help but push her hand up into his hair and pull him down to a kiss. To her relief, he kissed her back and pulled her closer, as if he was afraid that she would dissappear if he wasn't holding her.

"About time". They heard Dean mutter from his desk. They pulled back from each other, each noticing that the other was blushing, and laughed.

"Come on, I still feel tired and you haven't slept" [Y/N] took Sam's hand and gave it a squeeze.

"Your bed hasn't been slept in for two days, mine is warm.. I say we share it?" Sam reached his free hand behind his neck to scratch it nervously which caused [Y/N] to giggle.

"Will you two just go be together already?" Dean prompted, clearly getting impatient with the two of them, but giving [Y/N] a smile to show he was only joking. Sam and [Y/N] made their way back to Sam's bed, neither of them were going to leave the bunker without the other for awhile, and they had a lot to talk about. For now though, they were just going to cuddle up with each other, [Y/N] safe in Sam's arms.

The end

[cassiachales]

Journal Entry Three [And Noticing That Grayson Hawthorne Has Extremely Nice Arms]

note: y'all are so sweet with your comments like sjhfhdgjhs. anyway since some of you guys wanted to be in the taglist, i made one!! taglist: @f4iry-bell, @never-enough-novels, @reminiscentreader

Wednesday– Sunday was the last day I saw Grayson Hawthorne but that does not mean Sunday was the last day he was in my head. And oh my gods that waist. So slutty. ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Xander crossed his legs from where he was leaning against the wall. “I thought Whiskey Woes would’ve been enough.”

You scoff. “Do you even know your brother? He’d rather drink his and my bottle of whiskey before answering any question.”

You remember how his lips looked on the full glass of whiskey, and how he drank the whole glass without looking away from you.

“If you get turned on by looking at a guy drink whiskey, I don’t even know who to set you up with.” Xander says.

“I don’t get turned on–”

“Don’t even start.” 

“Fine.” You huff. “But why is he so damn hot?”

“We have to make him fall for you.” Xander says, ignoring you. “Fall into his arms.” Xander wags his eyebrows suggestively, and you look away.

“One, I can’t trip on purpose, and two, that will make me look desperate.”

“Everyone’s throwing themselves at him; all you have to do is do it classily.”

You grin. “Like what? Like, oh no, the heat. It wounds my heart, Mr. Hawthorne.”

“That is such terrible acting.” A voice behind you says, and you groan.

Grayson Hawthorne is behind you, and you don’t know just how much he overheard.

And he’s leaning against the wall, sleeves rolled up to his elbows and top button unfixed.

And he looks hot.

“It was meant to be terrible.” You grumble, rolling your eyes.

“No doubt.”

You begin to wonder why someone who talks so dryly has some so close to capturing your heart.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── He talks as though he’s constantly in a business meeting, and he dresses as though life is business and he’s the chairman. Except for some times where he actually looks extremely ravished. Like today. Gods I just want to run my hands through his hair and mess it all up. ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

“I need to ask, why do you stare so much? Is it just at me, or do you stare at everyone you meet?”

Only the attractive ones.

He raises his eyebrow. “You find me attractive?”

And there comes your habit of saying things out loud. And the fact that there’s no Xander snickering behind you, he probably left.

Traitor.

“You know what, I just realised that I have three essays due. So like, bye.”

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── He probably thinks I’m obsessed with him or something. Maybe I am but he’s never gonna read this journal so. ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

He tilted his head to the side and watched you turn and go the other way before he called your name.

Your name.

Not a “Ms.” and your last name.

Your real name.

“Your car is parked in the opposite direction, in case you forgot.”

You turn around, before shooting a thumbs up. “Totally knew that.”

His lips quirk up, and you can’t help but stare. He looks so infuriatingly gorgeous in his neatly pressed suits and perfectly styled hair and you often find your mind straying to how he would look messed up.

His hair all ruffled and his shirt with slight creases and your lips on his–

Not the last one. That was just an extra thought.

“Would you like me to drop you off? To your car?” Grayson asks, and you feel like he could do anything and you would find him every bit the gentleman.

He could kiss you and make you look ravished and wrap your legs around his waist and even then, he would be perfectly gentlemanly.

You nod. “That would be nice.”

He pushes off the wall, using his hand to show you the way. “Then? I do not have all day, love.”

Your brain is lagging.

He called you love.

And Grayson Hawthorne looks like he knows exactly what that did to you. 

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── He called me love. LOVE. And by god, if that self-satisfied smile on his face means anything, he looks so smug seeing what effect that had on me. Bloody bastard. ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

His confidence doesn’t slip at all, and you walk towards him.

His eyes are maddening.

It’s like a bottle of wine. Heady and intoxicating but you just want more and more even if it could poison you.

The two of you walk towards where your car is parked, and then, you feel as though the universe hates you.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── Guess what happened then. ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

You tripped.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── I tripped. ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

On a pebble.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── I fucking tripped on a pebble. ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

You’re falling forwards, thinking you’re going to smash your nose against the pathway when two really strong arms come around your waist.

Very strong.

You notice how good his arms look when they’re flexed like that, and god, does he look hot.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── He caught me before I fell, but goodness. I thought his waist was the best part about his body. I was so damn wrong, because man, do his arms look amazing. ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

“Are you all right?” He whispers. You feel his mouth at the curve of your ear, and you shiver.

For a moment, you berate yourself for having such a reaction to just his voice.

“Yeah.” You whisper back.

You can hear the stupid smile in his voice when he says: “I guess you did fall into my arms after all.”

You're too lost in his touch to feel embarrassed that he heard you and Xander talk about it.

He pulls you back, making you stand steady on your feet, before he removes his arms from your waist.

But he doesn’t do it sharp and quick, as though you burned him.

He does it slowly, his long fingers featherlight on your waist as they pull away.

You can still feel his phantom touch.

“Why– How do you do this to me?” He murmurs, so low as though he doesn’t want you to hear it.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── Then he goes and murmurs about how I do something to him and his voice is gorgeous when he murmurs. I’m becoming one of those fangirls on the internet. ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

The man is seducing you, slowly. Everything about him is slow.

The way his lips touch the glass of whiskey and downs it in one slow gulp.

The way his fingers move from your waist and leaves a phantom touch.

The way he blinks now, leading you forwards towards your car again.

It’s like he knows what he does to you.

Oh, he knows.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── He knows that I’m falling for him. He knows that when I’m with him, I lose myself. Oh god, he knows. And I love it. ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Journal Entry Two ☆ Journal Entry Four

[rosewould]

loosen up; cyj & csb

part 1.5

pairing; yeonjun x soobin & reader

words: 4.7k

genre; threesome, very slight bisex, smut

warnings: fingering, unprotected sex, dom!yeonjun, come eating, cunnilingus, very minor bi moments, slight overstimulation (is this just gonna be a Soobin thing?)

preface: Another kinda long one, also I think this is going to be one of my favorites at least for now. I’ve been working on this for a WHILE and could never get to finishing it. I’m so glad it’s finally done!

thank you for 2k+ notes!

The dance move you practiced over and over for an hour was still unrefined. The movements your hips made were muddy yet spastic. You didn't understand how your members executed it so flawlessly.

Your sigh transitions into a deeply frustrated groan as you fail once again. The feeling was becoming overwhelming. It was evident what would happen next. Since your frustration was growing with each attempt, you'd perform even worse due to your anger. You knew you needed to calm down and be patient to succeed, however, it was hard to ignore your repeated failure.

Hands flying to your hair, you pace with your eyes closed. The breathing that was meant to calm you down was more frantic than anything. You scream into your hands. The longer you took to get this move down, the more you'd get scolded. It seemed like you were getting scolded every day.

"Maybe if you fucking taught me properly I would get it." You spat indirectly as you rip the earphones out of your ears.

"That's always the problem, isn't it?"

You flinch as someone speaks within the walls you swore were empty. Looking to your right, you see Choi Yeonjun. 4th gen it boy, according to the internet and your members.

It didn't matter since you couldn't care any less about boy group members. Girl groups are what inspired you to audition, and it always pissed you off that boys got more recognition. It makes you especially angry now that you're an idol yourself.

The way he stood there with his shit-eating grin made your skin crawl. Was he expecting you to squeal in excitement?

You bow, greeting the celebrity.

"The choreographer isn't the issue. You need to calm down." He sits on the arm of the couch by the door.

"Oh! Okay!!" You kick yourself for letting the sarcasm slip through. God, couldn't he leave? You're clearly not in the mood.

"I see you're in a bad mood,"

Yeah.

He steps back onto the ground, walking towards you.

"But you need to get this move down, right?"

You watch as he raises his eyebrow. There's an ulterior motive here. Why would a busy idol stop to help a random rookie?

"You're my junior. You also represent my company, so I'm going to help okay?" He leans slightly closer to you, reading your mind again.

Here you were, not making a lick of progress. You were essentially wasting very valuable time, and this wasn't going to change until you de-stressed.

Here, also, was a horny man gawking down at your sweaty, heaving figure. He wanted to help alright, just not in the way he was saying. Maybe seeing this through wouldn't be terrible.

"I never said anything." Your eyes gaze up at him, lust so clearly oozing from them.

"You didn't have to. I agree, this situation is a bit strange. Just let me help." He slowly steps toward you with his suggestive expression. You breeze past him, and he watches as you sit on the couch.

"Help me then." You say, crossing your legs.

"It's kinda hard to dance sitting down, don't you think?" He narrows his eyes as he smirks at you. He approaches the couch after asking a question he knew was irrelevant.

Wordlessly, you open your legs. Just in case you got the wrong idea, you let him lead. Lead he does as he sinks to his knees before you. He slides both his hands up your thighs slowly. Your synapses react immediately to the sensation. Ever so slightly your stress lifts as your body prepares for the incoming pleasure.

"You gave in so easily. I'm not complaining, though." Yeonjun grins as he grips your thighs accompanied by his teeth grazing his lip.

"Just shut up and help me out. I wanna get this over with." You spread your legs even wider for him when he gives them another, harder squeeze. The truth was that the way he looked at you with hunger in his eyes affected you more than you'd ever admit.

His hands reach the drawstring of your sweatpants and untie the knot. Your hips buck upward slightly in anticipation, melting under his piercing gaze. He keeps his eyes trained on yours as he slowly pulls your pants down your legs.

"You were so prickly earlier, now look at you." He chuckles, referring to your slouched shoulders and hooded lids. Instinctively, you get defensive, denying his observation.

"What are you talking about?" You try to reactivate your prickly exterior, but you're far too aroused by this point. He clicks his tongue before yanking your sweatpants fully off.

"That won't do. I can still sense some uptight-ness."

Before you could quip back, he's pulling you by your legs to the edge of the couch.

"I can fix that."

He grabs the fabric of your underwear before yanking it off your hips. You gasp as the sound of them tearing fills the room. Instinctively, you clamp your hand over your mouth. He shoots you a panicked glare. He rushes toward the speaker against the mirror-filled wall. The first song to come on is your group's debut title track.

You grimace.

"Not this, please."

Hurriedly, he ejects the CD before popping in another one sitting nearby. The song that played was an unfamiliar one, which was perfect for you. Yeonjun rushes back to your spread open legs.

The stress of being caught was becoming overwhelming. You look away from him, closing your legs.

"This is why you need to chill out a bit." Yeonjun's hands sliding up your legs was soothing yet torturous. You begin to remember why you were privy a minute ago. Footsteps sounding outside made you jerk away from him.

"People rarely come in here if they hear music playing. Plus, you can't see the couch from the door window. On top of that, we'll be quick, okay?" He maneuvers to try and catch your wandering eyes. You think for a moment before nodding.

"Good, because I've wanted to taste you ever since I first saw you." Yeonjun watches you with hooded eyes as he dips his head down to kiss your knee. He trails kisses up your leg till he reaches the top of your thigh. Slowly, your legs open back up, heat bubbling in your lower abdomen. You could feel yourself clench as he got closer to where you needed him.

He presses a few tender and wet kisses to your inner thigh. You jerk away from him, but he continues to press his lips into the highly sensitive area. You whimper, legs threatening to close. "Please..."

Realizing his fun is over, he smiles against your skin. He flashes an impish look at you before planting his lips on your clit. Your hips stutter against his mouth. It took someone finally touching you intimately to realize how long it's been since someone has. Your arousal is heightened tenfold due to being sex-deprived for ages and it's hard to hide this fact. This is annoying since the way he knowingly looks up at you as he kisses it, again and again, showed that he enjoyed the power he had over you. You try and fail to disguise the immense pleasure you were already feeling. Even more so when he flicks your clit gently with the very tip of his tongue.

The string of saliva that follows when he pulls his tongue back into his mouth made your legs tingle. You throw your head back when he does it again. Again and again and again he tortures your poor bean while simultaneously not giving enough stimulation.

"I thought we were supposed to be quick." You whine, head rolling back and forth on the back of the couch. "Come on, in and out." You reach for him, trying to coax him to stop teasing you.

"Nah... this is for getting smart with me earlier." He pushes your arm away before sinking back down.

"We don't have ti- Ah-!" Your legs jump up as he latches his mouth onto your clit. He sucks harshly on the bud, monitoring the way you writhed with steady eyes. Earlier you felt so exhausted and fed up. You just wanted to go to your dorm and play video games. Now, your body felt like it was being set alight. Like you could run a lap and clear hurdles. One would think you were getting paid for the way you rolled your hips against his tongue. He hums against you and the vibration causes you to close your legs around his head. He pushes them open, digging his nails into the flesh almost as a warning.

"Be a good girl." He mumbles before prodding at your entrance. His tongue delves into you, nose pressed against your clit. It was embarrassing how much his small actions had an effect on you. You were grabbing fists full of his hair and jutting into him like you'd never been touched before. He chuckles against you, loving the way you push his face farther into you. That tongue of his was magical in the way it pushed inside you. He looked so eager as his head twisted and turned to curl his tongue deep inside your walls.

Your moans and facial expressions were like a drug he couldn't get enough of. You probably thought he did this with all the trainees and rookies he found attractive. Yeonjun wasn't reckless by any means. He only acted on his impulses if he couldn't stop himself.

Seeing you walk into the room with your group made Yeonjun speechless. How was he supposed to control himself when you were the perfect depiction of his type on paper? The way those heels made your legs look, the way your outfit hugged your body, the way your hair framed your face. It was all perfect. The knock-out punch was the confident yet crooked grin on your face before you raised the microphone to speak. It was as if you owned the place and everyone in it. He replayed that scene in his mind every time he palmed himself through his boxers at night. Seeing you walk past him and not being able to pin you against the wall was downright excruciating. You were so fucking beautiful and captivating, and Yeonjun wanted to make you scream his name like your life depended on it.

"If you come and say my name, I'll fuck you into this couch until you can't walk." Yeonjun breathed. Despite the fact that it was counterintuitive to the reason you were doing this, his words shot straight to your core.

"Go ahead. Make me come." You purred as you raised your legs above your head. He bites his lips before slowly pushing two fingers into you. You let out a drawn-out groan as his long digits stretch you open. Placing two hands on your ass, you stretch your skin so he can slide all the way inside you with ease. How slick your walls are with arousal definitely made it easy. He watches his fingers fuck you open with his mouth parted slightly and brows knitted together.

"Your pussy is just as pretty as you are." His eyes flicker up to yours before a smirk spreads across his face. The compliment affects you more than you expect as your eyes roll back. He begins fucking into your faster, face dipping down to flick your clit with his tongue. You arch your back, body sliding forward. He pulls you even closer so that your hips are fully off the couch and holds you up with his arm. He's pumping into you as fast as he can, lewd noises almost louder than the music. You shove your hips into his mouth as fragmented moans trickle from your lips. They're all swollen and red from biting on them, you continue to graze them with your teeth as your abdomen tightens.

"Don't you fucking stop." You choke out before throwing your head back. The feeling of your warm and slick walls wrapping around him makes him desperate to properly fuck you. They were constantly clenching and sucking him deeper inside like they were hungry for his now soaked fingers. Arousal is pouring from your swollen vagina, gushing around his fingers. "Mm baby," You coo, hips more spastic as you grow closer.

"Come and say my name." Yeonjun growls before continuing to flick your nub like a mad man. The way he was moaning so shamelessly, you would've thought you were going down on him. It was like he worshipped your pussy with how much he enjoyed using his fingers and tongue to pleasure you. He curls his fingers inside you, grazing that sweet spot and sending shockwaves over you.

"Y-Yeonjun! Fuck-" You start spastically bucking your hips against his face, unable to control yourself as your orgasm crashes over you. You're shaking and whimpering as he fucks you through it.

"I'm coming baby- Fuck me Yeonjun." The second you come down from your high, Yeonjun is unbuckling his belt. Before he could unbutton his jeans the door flies open.

"I fucking knew it." Soobin spat as he slammed the door behind him. You jump up, rushing to cover yourself up. Yeonjun drapes your discarded sweatpants over your naked bottom half.

"What are you-"

Soobin raises his hand to stop Yeonjun from speaking. He walks over to the speaker to turn off the music. When he returns, his eyes were wild, chest heaving as he tried to stifle his seething rage. He exhales before speaking again.

"Beomgyu, Taehyun, and Kai are all at the dorm, so I was confused as to why our song is blasting in the practice room. Yeonjun went out somewhere so it can't be him I thought. Because that's what you fucking told me." Soobin approaches Yeonjun with fire in his eyes.

"I'm tired, Yeonjun. I really am. I'm tired of having to worry about you being reckless." Soobin laughs as he desperately tries to appeal to the older man.

"You know that you don't have to worry about me." Yeonjun cautiously steps forward, trying not to set off his leader.

"Don't I? You're literally fucking her when I specifically told you not to!" Soobin yells and Yeonjun scrambles to cover his mouth. Soobin shoves him backward. Shocked by the action, Yeonjun shoots a glare at Soobin. The look makes Soobin realize he needs to calm down before he does something stupid.

You gawk at Yeonjun. Just how long did he have this planned? You thought he was just eager to fuck the first hole that said yes.

"You wonder why you're so stressed all the fucking time, yet you're about to burst a blood vessel because I had sex once. Maybe if you stopped being so worried about getting caught and just lived a little you wouldn't constantly be ripping your hair out." Yeonjun quietly explains as he points his finger at Soobin, jaw tensed. Soobin laughs dryly.

"So you think I should take advantage of a fan?"

"Take advantage?" Yeonjun shouts in disbelief.

"Fan?" You shout at the same time, sitting up on the couch. The outburst makes him turn to you. He walks towards you, pinching his nose bridge.

"As your senior, I'm gonna offer you some advice. I know that you're excited that you debuted under the same company as your favorite group-"

"I'm gonna stop you right there. I hope I don't sound disrespectful or rude," God forbid since you've heard stories of idols getting their image ruined with rumors like that, "But I'm not a fan of Yeonjun or TXT. I just wanted to relax a bit so I could refocus on practicing."

"You realize he's just saying that to get into your pants, right? Did you not just hear him try and use the same excuse on me?" Soobin points to himself and looks at you as if you were a fool. You knew this, but a part of you does feel like a fool for letting him in so quickly. You were just one of the many stops on his mission to boost his ego. You look at Yeonjun who avoids your gaze. You roll your eyes and slide your sweatpants on.

"Whatever. This was useless anyway." You walk over to the mirror and pick up your bag that was leaning against it.

"Is that so? Because it didn't sound useless." Soobin mumbles. You drop your bag and turn to face him.

"Excuse me?"

"You don't make sounds like that because of useless sex." Soobin chuckles, shaking his head. Just as you're about to lose your patience, Yeonjun is stepping closer to him.

"Hey, watch your mouth." There was a glint of ire in Yeonjun's eyes as he accosted Soobin.

"And you? You didn't even have your pants off but you were moaning up a storm."

Yeonjun's ears turn red as he struggles to defend himself. He stutters as Soobin laughs at him. "You're saying that as if you'd be any better. You haven't had sex since before you auditioned." He accuses defensively. Soobin scoffs.

"You don't know what you're talking about. Get back to the dorm before we get in trouble."

"If I remember correctly, you said she was breathtaking right? That your heart stopped when you first saw her?" Yeonjun mocked with his eyebrows raised. Soobin gasps as Yeonjun exposes what he shared in private. Your eyes are wide as you and Soobin stare at each other.

"I- That doesn't-"

"I bet you'd probably come in your pants just watching me fuck her."

Yeonjun's words make you squeeze your thighs together. When Soobin's eyes flicker towards them, your hands fly to cover them up, your face gradually getting hotter.

"No, I wouldn't." Soobin states firmly, but the way he gulps afterward makes his lack of confidence obvious.

The two are bickering like toddlers now about who's more embarrassing about how turned on they are, but all you can think about is how they both talked about you in secret. Soobin thought you were breathtaking and Yeonjun made plans to specifically have his way with you, out of all your members. You made a mental note to ask them and make sure. It was hard to believe.

You're pulled out of your thoughts when Yeonjun walks over to you and grabs your hand. He pulls you back to the couch before turning you around. He grabs the hem of your shirt and begins slowly pulling it up. Goosebumps form on your skin as his knuckles brush against your stomach. You lift your arms up to allow him to fully take it off. He presses a kiss to your shoulder before wrapping his arms around your waist. The feeling of your heart pounding against your ribcage was overwhelming. You glance over at Soobin whose eyes are glued to your chest. He clears his throat, still unable to look away.

"Why don't you prove it? You could loosen up a little while you're at it." Yeonjun bites your shoulder as his eyes bore into Soobin. You grind your ass into him softly, still a little embarrassed that you have an audience. However, it was futile to try and pretend like his re-hardening member against your ass wasn't making you buzz with arousal. He grabs two handfuls of your breasts and squeezes them until you're whimpering. Your head tilts to the right as he sloppily kisses your neck.

Soobin watches your wanton expression as you suck your lip into your mouth. You're so unabashedly horny, pushing your ass into Yeonjun as small moans and whimpers float from your lips. Soobin feels blood rushing to his cock when you whisper Yeonjun's name. He swallows hard again. Yeonjun was right, going this long without being inside someone was taking a toll on him. All of his members were so openly flirty, having a casual makeout session here and there. Then there was Soobin, the resident cock blocker. He claims he's doing it to prevent the boys from getting in trouble, but he was a bit jealous that he couldn't hook up with whoever he wanted without being so anxious. What if he got in trouble? What if he got a girl pregnant? What if someone took a picture or a video? What if he was being set up? There were so many things that could go wrong.

Maybe it was because he's the leader, the other guys don't have to worry as much as he does. Soobin might actually get scolded worse for something they did. He had good reason to worry. That, however, doesn't mean that he doesn't get horny. That he also didn't imagine pinning you against the wall and telling you how hard you make him. He was usually good at keeping the risks in mind, but watching you fall apart as Yeonjun's hand is pleasuring you underneath your sweatpants is testing his restraint. He's failing miserably.

His jeans are getting tighter and tighter with each lewd noise that fell from your mouth. Either you forgot he was there, or you were getting off to being watched. As your moans grow in volume, Soobin rushes to turn the speaker back on. He was now officially a willing participant in something he knew he shouldn't be doing. It was too late to turn back now. Soobin strides to the two writhing figures in front of the couch and stands in front of them. Your eyes blink open once your feel Soobin's hand caressing your cheek.

"What're you doing?" Yeonjun breathes, finger still rubbing circles into your bundle of nerves. Your knees buckle as you lean into his touch. This was unbelievable, you should be practicing. Of all the things you could've predicted would happen when you woke up this morning, being masturbated by the 4th gen it boy while the leader of TXT watched wouldn't even be an option. Still, the way Soobin stares down at you like you're something precious in his hands makes you tremble. His pretty lips press a kiss into yours as his thumb rubs your cheek.

"Hey. I asked what you were doing. You're supposed to just watch." Yeonjun's voice is louder, but Soobin ignores him and continues rolling his plush lips against yours. He uses his other hand to hold your face in place as he deepens the kiss. Flashes of the first time he saw you appear in his mind and it makes him moan into your mouth. Soobin hisses when he feels someone grab a fist full of his hair. Yeonjun yanks his head back. "Answer my fucking question." He spat.

"I'm loosening up, isn't that what you wanted?" Soobin smirks lazily, not even fazed by the stinging of his scalp. Yeonjun scoffs, keeping his head in place. He pushes against your crotch so that you're even closer to him than you are to Soobin. He watches him with sharp eyes as Soobin watches you with lust-filled ones. You stare back, mouth falling open at the sight. Soobin furrowing his eyebrows as the elder tightens his grip on his hair. Soobin whimpers and you're clenching your thighs around Yeonjun's hand. He exhales next to your ear.

"Open up. Now." He growls. You whine before opening your legs wider. He immediately slips his fingers into your slick pussy, hammering them inside you. You throw your head back, knees buckling. He pins you against his body to keep you steady as he pounds his fingers into you. His palm slaps against your clit and it makes you cry out. Soobin groans, hips thrusting at nothing. Yeonjun smirks.

"That's right, take my fingers like a good girl. And you stand there and fucking watch." His tone sharpens when he addresses Soobin. Soobin chuckles which makes Yeonjun growl and yank his head backward. A salacious moan is pulled from Soobin's throat when he does so. You're practically leaking down your legs as you watch him stand there, touch starved as his eyes drink you in. Yeonjun's fingers curling inside you makes you let out a strangled noise. He mumbles praises against your skin.

"Such a good girl. Wanna be fucked like one?" He turns his head, watching your twisted expression as you nod. He slides his fingers out of you, and to your shock, pushes them against Soobins lips. So desperate for something, Soobin accepts them, eyes rolling back at your taste. He swirls his tongue around his fingers, bucking his hips at your smell radiating off of him. He's drunk on your taste, smell, and your beauty. It's almost overwhelming to be in your presence like this.

"You like that? 'cause that's all you're getting. Sit on the couch and watch." Yeonjun orders as he yanks your sweatpants down. They pool at your ankles, just like his underwear and jeans do behind you. You feel the smooth head of his cock prodding at your entrances from behind and you hiss. He reaches around and wraps his hands around your throat as he pushes himself in. Yeonjun groans as he pushes all the way in. He clamps his other hand around your mouth, not because he's afraid of being caught, just because he likes the way it makes you squirm. He pulls back and slams into you, you moan into his hand.

"Your moans sound pretty even when they're muffled." He purrs.

To say he didn't like the way Yeonjun treated him would be a lie, but the temptation to disobey him just because was immense. Instead of sitting on the couch like he was instructed, he sinks to his knees. You can't see what he's doing since Yeonjun's hand on your mouth has your head pinned against his chest, but you feel his mouth on your sensitive clit and you inhale sharply. You moan uncontrollably into Yeonjun's hand, bucking against Soobin's face.

"Hey! What're you-" Yeonjun's confrontation gets caught in his throat and swapped for a moan as you clench around him. You're almost pushing him out of your swollen pussy as Soobin laps at your clit. There was that taste again, it was making Soobin's cock pulsate underneath his pants. A part of him liked the way his cock was compressed by his jeans. A wet spot started forming in his underwear as his hips bucked forward. He moaned against your pussy and you shuddered at the vibration.

Yeonjun was holding you so tightly against him as his hips shoved into you, rubbing so tastily against your plush walls. And Soobin was lapping at your pussy like he was starving. They were both moaning shamelessly as they brought you toward your thunderous orgasm. As your moans get higher in pitch, the speed of Soobin's tongue and Yeonjun's hips pick up. The only thing keeping you from spilling onto the floor was Soobin's face nuzzled perfectly into your mound and Yeonjun's vice-like grip on your throat and mouth. Your eyes roll back as your vision goes white.

You thrash in between both of them, orgasm racketing through you like a lightning strike. You moan loudly, voice giving out as they carry you through your orgasm. You gasp loudly as you realize they're not stopping. Soobin presses his tongue flat, dragging it from Yeonjun's cock all the way to your tired clit. You shout obscenities from behind Yeonjun's hand and he's cursing next to your ear as well. Soobin continues to stimulate both of you until Yeonjun's hips are stuttering against your ass. He lets out a drawn-out, strangled moan as his hips jerk against yours. His hips slam against you hard as he fills you to the brim. His hands around your throat tighten as he fucks through his orgasm. You see stars as your legs start to shake. A second orgasm washes over you and you sob in response.

Soobin palms himself through his jeans as his cock pulses. It starts shooting come into his pants as he groans. You push against Soobin's head as he continues to lap at your clit. Yeonjun finally releases your neck and mouth, opting to wrap his arms around your waist instead. Soobin shoves his tongue inside you to clean all the come that's dripping out. You grab Soobin's hair and forcibly pull him away.

"N-no more- I'm going numb." You whimper and look down at him, laughing at his silly grin. You motion toward the wet spot in his jeans and snort.

"Yeonjun was right." You say as you sink to his level. He shrugs.

"It was worth it." He bites his lip as you grab your shirt off the ground. You wipe off his face before planting a kiss on his lips. He pulls you back in for another before smiling contently. You're about to wipe yourself off but Yeonjun is pulling you to your feet. He holds you steady and you whine at the slightly painful sensation in your legs. His arm is tight around your waist as he snatches the shirt from your hand and wipes between your legs.

"I made a move first so this isn't happening again. She's mine." Yeonjun scowls at Soobin who's still smiling on the ground like an idiot.

"Yeah, we'll see about that."

[writtenontheport]

Just a Night at Portland Row

(pt.1) (pt.2)

Anthony Lockwood x (gn) Reader

Warnings/Tags: Literal romcom, These people are silly, Everyone’s so sillycore here, teary confessions, someone accidentally confesses, nothing dramatic happens he’s just silly, Childhood friends to lovers, Lockwood is kinda stupid (affectionate), no smut or suggestive content, Lockwood and co and reader friendship, whether or not what Lockwood says at the end actually happens is up to you!!

Notes: I have quite a few issues with this one, and I’m not entirely satisfied with it, but I think it’s one of the better ways I could go about it. I also put all the flowers meanings at the bottom, so if you were curious I did in fact plan the flower meanings (I am a nerd). This finale has gone through about 20 revisions on the first day alone, so if anything seems jarringly out of place, I am so sorry 😭 I was all over the place with my ideas.

Summary: Just before supper time, you and Lockwood have a heart to heart, and it starts as it always has: with flowers, with tears, and a little funny thing called love.

word count: 2.4k+

“George,” Lockwood says seriously. It’s the first time George has ever seen him so serious about something that isn’t Lucy or him dying and it shocks him how quick he is to steel himself for whatever it is. “I need you to get Lucy to bring them down here, if you can, please.”

Now, ‘them’ is obviously referring to you, who’s laughing away upstairs with Lucy so loud they can hear it ring through the vents. If this wasn’t something George has genuinely been excited for, he would have smacked Lockwood upside the head for using that terrifying tone. “Don’t say it like that, prick. Thought someone was dying there.”

Lockwood grins at him from where he’s messing with the bouquet stood up on the table. The paper wrapping hasn’t been removed, courtesy of the empty vase and that water would most likely melt it; ribbon still intact. They stand, not quite fully in bloom (which is the best way to buy flowers, because otherwise they wilt right away) but just on the precipice of it. It’s packed with other, smaller additions, but at the heart of it, well. Maybe Lockwood did know something about the language of flowers.

“How’d you even pick them out?” George asks instead, watching Lockwood’s grin wobble.

“I made friends with the shopkeeper. He wouldn’t tell me what any of them meant, but he said they were good flowers— like the carnations. One of them though… these white ones here, just felt familiar somehow.” He kept messing about with the bouquet, meddling with any loose leaf or bud. “Can you please go get them? I want them to be able to see the flowers before they wilt.”

George does swat Lockwood for that, but he goes upstairs to get you. You and Lucy have moved to her room on George’s urging (he made Lockwood wait outside before coming in to make sure you didn’t know) and were lying in her bed on your stomachs, reading and sharing books. Lucy’s the first to look up at him, raising a brow as she nudges you.

“George? Everything ok?” You ask, propping yourself up to sit criss cross on the mattress. “Has Anthony come back yet?”

“He has,” he says simply, “He says he needs you in the kitchen. Lucy should stay since she must be tired from the case yesterday.”

From behind you, Lucy has a moment of realization that has her tucking her lips to hide a smile. Quietly, she puts a hand up to her forehead in a salute to George.

“You should go check,” she says, “Who knows what kind of trouble he might be in.”

“A lot of trouble,” George adds, nodding slightly along. You narrow your eyes in suspicion, but you get up off the bed.

“I’ll save your place!” She calls just as you’re headed down. George walks 2 steps behind you to hide his expression before he can school it, feeling giddy with nerves that aren’t even his to have. He wonders how Lockwood’s doing, stopping just at his bedroom door.

You turn back, asking “You aren’t coming?”

“I’m sure you’ll be fine.” He rocks gently on his feet and pulls his hands behind his back, reassuring you with a calm nod. “Off you go, Lockwood’s probably burnt himself making tea by now or something.”

“I’d hope not…” you mumble, each step down like a crescendo in the world’s most suspenseful piece of music— every floorboard creak like the lead instrument and your heartbeat acting a steady base. On a sheet you’re sure it looks hideous, but it levels out when you open the door and Lockwood’s waiting there by the counter, looking like he’s straight off a magazine. The silence creeps in, but the piece rises to new heights as the sound of everything— the floorboards, the vents— suddenly dulls out.

You step into the kitchen, and let the door shut behind you.

There is your Anthony, standing there in the middle of the kitchen with a bouquet full of dazzling pink tulips, red roses, and spots of white jasmine flowers. There is Anthony, the boy you’ve known and loved for years— looking at you like he always does: like you’re the whole world and sky and everything he wakes up for.

Neither of you speak for a good minute, but it’s not without trying. Lockwood spends that pregnant pause fumbling for words, before—

“I love you,” He says.

The words come rushing out his lips, hurried and desperate. It shocks you how simply he puts it, like a sudden rest in the notes that takes you by surprise. He looks surprised too; horrified, really, that he’s just blurted that out. He swallows thickly, steeling his expression into something determined.

“I—“ you pause, the words caught in your throat, blood pounding in your ears. You think you tear up, but you can’t really tell when the whole world narrows down to Anthony Lockwood across from you in the kitchen of Portland Row, professing his love in the spur of the moment. You grow warm with affection, taking a step closer to him as the music of your singing heart drowns out everything but his words.

He takes a deep breath, his face pale with fear as he swallows and says quietly,, “Today, when I went down to the shops to get you these flowers, I met the really old man tending to them. Don’t look at me like that, he was really old, alright?”

“Anthony,” you scold quietly, tutting at him as you wrap your hands around his.

He bites the inside of his cheek before he keeps going. “Anyways he isn’t the point— I brought him up because he made me realise that I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I never gave telling you a shot. He lived loving someone else until they died— even after they did, and if… if there was a chance I could have that with you, I wanted to take it. I can’t promise you that I’ll be alive for as long as you will be, but I can promise you that I will love you for everyday I live and breathe if you let me.”

“Anthony,” you start, breathlessly. You take his face in your hands and he puts the bouquet down to cover your hands with his. He looks so scared like this, fragile like glass in your hands and pale with nerves.

“I can’t promise you forever,” He says solemnly, “But I can promise you my heart for as long as it beats.”

You take a deep breath through your nose, and will yourself not to kiss him. Years down to minutes— minutes to seconds. The silence hangs like a winding note. You glance back quickly at the bouquet, picking out one of the jasmine flowers before sliding it behind his ear and resting your hands on his face.

“Do you remember the first flower I gave you?” You ask just as quietly. He shakes his head, cheeks rubbing against the skin of your palms. “We were… quite young at the time, and I must have been mad, because I stole it from the neighbour’s garden. Yes, the grumpy one, you remember her. Well, I ran straight over from all the way from home with this crumpled little thing in hand— stop giggling. I’m telling you an important story— and you lit up like a light. Cheeky little thing you were, finding a way to give it back to me when I got scolded the same day for stealing and I was awful sore about the whole thing.”

“You looked all sad,” He cut in, voice hoarse in a mumble, “It made me happy, so I wanted it to make you happy too.”

You laugh, just as breathless, “And it worked, Anthony. It’s still one of my favourite flowers. Did you know that? They were the first flowers I read up on when I learned flowers could have meanings.”

“What’d you find?” He asks, the nerves fading into a hopefulness that fills his eyes with stars. It’s helplessly endearing where you see them shine, nearly nose to nose with how close you’re holding him.

You hum and close your eyes, pushing your forehead against his. “We gave each other white jasmine flowers, that day. A lot of people say they mean purity or innocence, but the one that stuck out to me was that people say it meant “everlasting love” too. When I look back on it now, it must’ve been fate.”

“Cause I always loved you and you probably realised that with how stupid I get about you?”He wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you close.

You chuckle quietly, just as helplessly lost, “Not quite. I didn’t even think there was a chance you could love me back, though that does make everything a bit easier… because I’ve always loved you, Anthony.”

Like a child on Christmas day, Lockwood’s eyes grow wide; he’s helpless to the grin that splits his face. “Really?”

“I’m no liar, Anthony, and certainly not about this,” you laugh, unable to help yourself as you tip back and rest your nose lightly against his.

“No like— you mean it?” He asks, voice cracking with hope as he searches your face, “You love me? You love me?”

You’re helplessly endeared, helplessly in love and helplessly lost to it, so you just whisper back with a grin as wide, “Yes, Anthony. I love you.”

What little space between you both is gone in a second when he pushes his lips against yours. It’s a desperate thing, all relief and comfort and love pouring out. At some point, you’re both smiling too wide and too much for it to be anything more than just pushing your lips against each other’s and you pull away with a wet laugh.

He grins wider, and you didn’t think it was possible but he manages it. “I’m so glad, because if I had to go back to the shopkeeper with a terrible story about how I got rejected by the love of my life—“

You giggle and swat at his arm, wrapping your arms around him, “Of course that’s what you worry about. This is all a publicity stunt, yeah? To boost your ego.”

“Of course,” he says, with no weight to the words as he sniffs and blinks away the last of his tears, “Though that just means we should make it a bigger stunt and get married. I’ll even invite Kipps just to rub it in his face.”

You hum, helplessly amused, when the door slams open and George shamelessly walks in with at first his usual deadpan, then a pleased expression. From behind George, Lucy is brimming with happiness, smiling cheek to cheek.

“Gross,” George says, simply and without malice. He steps around you and Lockwood, patting you both on the back sincerely and pulling out pots and pans. It occurs to you a little late that he’s starting on supper. “Took you both a while to actually confess. Mental, the two of you.”

“It was cute,” Lucy says kindly, taking you from Lockwood (he does pout lightly, but she just sticks her tongue out at him) hugging you dear. “George just means that we’re both very happy you two finally got together. He was starting to go bald actually from pulling his hair out too much, look at his hairline—“

“You can’t even pretend like you weren’t too, Lucy.” George sends her a glare as she separates from you. Lockwood quickly fills the space at your side again and all but wraps himself around you. Lucy pats him on the back with a congratulatory smile.

“You can’t go bald before my wedding, George, that’d just ruin it,” you say, clicking your tongue as you reach over (not without struggling over Lockwood) and pat his curls into place. The pot nearly slips out of his hands while Lucy’s eyes grow big as saucers.

“Wedding?!?” They ask simultaneously. Lockwood giggles into your neck, the cheeky bastard.

“This one here,” you gesture at Lockwood with a look, “said we should get married since this whole thing is a publicity stunt or whatnot. Said he might even invite that Kipps bloke he hates.”

“That is the lamest proposal I have ever heard,” Lucy immediately cuts in, the most disappointed scowl pointed at Lockwood’s head.

“I’ve got to agree. You could absolutely do better than that, Lockwood. Also, Quill Kipps? Do you want to have start a fight at your wedding?” George asks, his back turned to everyone. You pull away from Lockwood to pick up the flowers, but not without him frowning as you do. He stops frowning as soon as you smile at him, though, before he turns his attention to Lucy and George when they both pretend to gag.

“I gave them flowers, a really sentimental bunch I think, then I had a good speech,” He says to Lucy first, who raises a brow at him.

He turns to George next. “I need to rub it in his face that he’s probably miserable and forever alone.”

“I thought it was gonna be a publicity stunt, not a revenge plot,” You mutter, clicking your tongue.

“I’m not letting you have a lame wedding, Lockwood, because that means they—“ she points to you “— will have a lame wedding and I will not let that happen.”

“But you’d let me have a lame wedding if it was just mine?” His face is scrunched in offence as he ‘discreetly’ wraps himself around you again.

“Yes,” Lucy and George say simultaneously.

“I’d marry you at a lame wedding.” You play with his hair where you can reach it, pressing a kiss to his forehead where he’s dumped it again on your shoulder. Lucy and George gag, Lockwood beams so bright you’d think he won the lottery that night.

They manage to convince you that it’s too dark out to leave (it was past curfew, the sun had set already) so you spend the night recounting everything you can with them until the stars had gone to sleep and the sun started rising.

The next day, he brings down the bouquet of carnations you’d first given him, and you mix both the bouquets into one. A year later, Portland Row becomes home to not only to the people living in it, but a garden full of flowers blooming with love, laughter, and a lot of hard work. White Jasmine flowers bloom on the veranda and a house of three becomes home to four.

A/N: Finally finished this series!! Whew, that was… hmm!! And just because I couldn’t add it to the story without it getting clunky, have these idk, headcanons? fun facts?:

Reader tells Lockwood all about the flowers after, and informs him about why the Jasmine flowers were so familiar

The grumpy neighbour reader stole the white jasmine flowers from was actually the old man gardener’s wife

Lockwood goes back to tell the old man, and they have a laugh about the whole thing

It is so hard to get one straight meaning for a flower, but if you dig enough you can find flowers that mean so many cute things:

Red carnations mean deep love and affection

Pink tulips mean caring and affection

White Jasmine flowers can mean many things but for this story I went with: Eternal love, persevering love, and new beginnings

Everyone knows red roses, but I also like to think Lockwood’s bouquet had thornless red roses because they mean love at first sight

Yes he one upped the reader even without knowing what all the flowers mean because he’s a competitive little freak (affectionate) and I love him

This series has been very dear to me, and I am especially thankful to @tangledinlove <3 Thank you for your kind reblogs, I hope you know I read them and always look forward to seeing how you find each part in the series even if I don’t respond to them <33333

Also @milesmorals asked me to tag her too!!