#this was part of my final project for a college art class

[straylightdream]

trust fund baby - “𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐡, 𝐈 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰, 𝐈 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐈'𝐦 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦”

𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐭: hwang hyunjin x f.reader

college au

↳ Escaping the planned out future your family has for you leaves you mess. You were born with anything you could ever want and yet you don’t want the life that has been planned for you. He’s a struggling painter who was a loner all his life until he found his friends. From the moment he met you captivated by you, even when he has to take care of you. “Do you ever feel lonely in a room filled with people?”

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 18+ only, listen below the cut

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 10.8k

𝐚𝐧: this is a part of my connecting connect stray kids college au series SSFW. this can be read as one shot tho. You don’t need to read the other stories to know what’s going on. This switches pov from Hyunjin to the readers. Sections labeled Lost Boy is Hyunjin’s pov.

𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: first time sex, unprotected sex, loss of virginity, begging, oral (male receiving) names such as: (baby), mentions of alcoholism, and drugs (the mc is a hot mess)

-LONELY BOY-

Aloner is someone who prefers to do things alone. Hyunjin most of his life could have been referred to as a loner. It wasn’t until Sophomore year of college when he finally found a group of friends that brought him out of his shell. When he was in high school he didn’t really have friends and never went to parties or anything. He spent most weekends home in his room working on either drawing or painting. When he finally moved away for college he thought this might be his chance for things to be different. Freshman year he tried to get out of his shell some more. He found some friends and went to parties here and there.

Junior year he moved off campus and moved in with Changbin and some of his friends. Living with friends really pushed him out of his comfort zone and gave him a chance to really grow. He even became close with Felix, one of Minho’s friends.

Junior year was an interesting year for Hyunjin, he seemed lost in his art. Most of his free time was dedicated to attempting to paint a whole series painting for an exhibit. He needed to finish twenty paintings in five months. If all went right they would auction off his paintings and he could make some decent money to hold him over while he worked on new paintings to sell.

For the last week Hyunjin had been trapped in his room attempting to figure out this painting. He was only leaving the apartment to go to class. Sitting at the kitchen table next to his roommates Minho and Angel he was more tired than he normally was. His newly bleached hair was falling in his face as he stared at the cup of coffee Minho had placed in front of him. Pushing his fingers through his messy hair he sighed. He was struggling to figure out what his next painting needed to be. Looking up he found Angel staring at him, her eyebrows were knitted together as she focused on him.

“You know eating is essential to living right?” she says pushing the plate of toast that was in the middle of the table closer to him.

His stomach growled, reminding him he hadn’t eaten since lunch yesterday. If it wasn’t for his roommates he would probably forget to do basic tasks at this point. These twenty paintings have taken up all his mental capacity at this point.

“Hyunjin, you need to take a break from this project. You’ve finished four of the paintings and you still have four months,” Angel has pointed out to him before that she’s concerned with how lost he seems to get when he’s focused on one project.

“I think you need to take a break for a day or two,” Minho chimes in.

Hyunjin grabs a piece of toast and doesn’t say anything before taking a bite of the bare white toast. Minho and Angel’s eyes are focused on him as he chews the dry bread. Setting the toast on the table he sighs. “I’ll take a break for the weekend. Felix asked if I wanted to have lunch today with him. He wants me to meet his new roommate.”

“Oh yeah he ended up getting a new roommate right after winter break,” Minho says.

“Is that the trust fund girl?” Angel asks standing up.

“Felix told me a little bit about her. He said she’s sweet but kinda a hot mess.”

Hyunjin hasn't met his friend's new roommate but he’s seen you on instagram. Felix sent him your instagram when you reached out to move in with him. Hyunjin was surprised you were looking for somewhere to live half way into the school year, but according to Felix you got into a blow up with your father and moved out telling him you could live independently.

-LOST GIRL-

You were born with everything you could have possibly wanted, and yet it didn’t matter. Your mother came from old money and your father owns a bank. Your whole life you’ve been surrounded by so many people, and yet you felt so lonely. There were many charity events you attended with your family, and tons of people were there biting at the bit to talk to you, and it didn’t matter. You never fit into this elite society you were brought up in. Your mother was a socialite that thrived in a crowd, and your fathers ego loved to be stroked at these lavish parties.

Growing up you were a well behaved child that did everything anything your parents asked of you. Your older sister was the star of the family. She’s five years older than you, as a preteen you watched as all types of men fell at her feet. You realized in your preteen years you didn’t want to be socialite. You didn’t want people chasing after you for your money, and you sure as hell didn’t want to live as your fathers puppet. His goal was to marry off both his daughters to equally as rich or richer men.

At fifteen you attended your sister's wedding to a very rich man who came from old money just like your mother. The wedding, an event for the decade, was all the upper class could talk about when the Heiress of Brighton Banking was marrying Lee Seok Min. The pair dated for a year before they were engaged. You were fourteen when they started dating and when you first met your future brother in law you thought your sister loved him. You think in the beginning she actually loved him. When your lives have been planned out for you, it's a little hard to be happy. The engagement between them happened right after a fight led to them breaking up. You have a core memory of walking by your fathers office and hearing your sister scream at him that Seokmin didn’t actually love her, and that she didn’t love him either. Standing in the ballroom where the lavish reception was being held you watch your sister carefully. The little faces she would make as her new husband kissed her let you know that this marriage was a political move made for money and social status by your parents and the Lee’s.

After the wedding was when you started to pull back. You stopped attending most events, you threw yourself into focusing on school. You hoped that if you were able to get accepted to a good university far away, maybe you could escape your parent’s control.

Senior year of high school was when you started to rebel. You became more social that year of high school. Freshly eighteen you started doing everything to avoid any event your family attended. When all the money in the world is in your hands it’s not hard to find bad habits. Parties with people from school became your favorite pastime. Occasionally you found yourself with a popular boy who had a fondness for sex and white powder he liked to snort.

Many nights you passed out at his luxury house doing anything you possibly could to avoid going home. The sunlight would come up on Sunday morning and you would pull yourself away from his bare body. Stumbling into your house sometimes hungover and sometimes completely sober you didn’t try to be sneaky. Your parents were well aware of how much you hated being home. Your mother asked you to stop acting up once, but when you informed her your boyfriend was a popular rich boy from the Byun family and she suddenly didn’t care. There was a stinging feeling in your chest when you realized your mother didn’t love you like you thought she did. She loved the idea of you elevating your family's social status even more than your sister did.

College was your great escape, at least you thought it was. The problem was you didn’t get accepted into a university far away. Instead you found yourself at an amazing university with a great academic program near home. Freshman year you were still seeing the same rich popular boy, he had the same love for white powder and sex. Since the beginning of your relationship with him you’ve tried his favorite pastime a couple times but tried to stay away from it. That relationship burned down when you found him in bed with someone else. The beginning of sophomore year was a blur, you threw yourself into focusing on school, and occasionally found yourself fighting with your father. Sophomore year things between you and your father got worse.

During the winter of sophomore year you snapped when your father informed you he wanted you to start dating a very rich boy named Kim Doyoung who was attending the same university as you. You went on one date with the boy and quickly realized that your father fully planned on having you married to him by next winter. A screaming match ensued between you and your father. You told him all about how you aren’t some puppet you can control.

“I refuse to live in a loveless marriage,” you screamed.

“Watch your tone child,” he sat at his desk, barely fazed by your screaming.

“Wendy doesn’t love Seokmin, and I won’t marry someone just for money like she did.”

The screaming match went on for too long and it ended with you telling him you needed to move out. This is the fight that led to you getting drunk to forget how hurt you were. You lived with one of your friends from school Seungmin’s couch for a week before he helped you find a place to stay. He recommended his classmate Felix who had an open room. Using the money from your trust fund you reach out to Felix to move in.

Just because you're away from home doesn't mean your fights with your father stopped. Even away from he tried to control your life.

You quickly became friends with Felix, and he quickly realized that the stress of dealing with your father was getting to you. Two weeks into living with him you went to a party and got wasted after a screaming match with your father. You called Seungmin and he came to your rescue before taking you home. Sitting on the bathroom floor puking up all the dark liquid you had drunk Felix held your hair back and took care of you.

-LONELY BOY-

Friday afternoons Hyunjin normally hung out with Felix. They would normally order coffee after their lab they had together and then would go back to Felix’s house and get any homework they needed to work on done. Their homework sessions normally lasted two hours before Felix had to go to his next class during the evening.

This Friday had been going just like it normally did. Hyunjin walked into Felix’s apartment with his coffee in hand. Sitting at the small black kitchen table he worked on his art history homework that was taking up too much time.

The front door swung open and a very drunk girl stumbled in. Felix shut his laptop and immediately rushed over to you as you fell on the floor attempting to take off your boots. “YN not again” Felix drops to his knees in front of you.

“Hi,” your voice is high pitched as you sway a little bit.

Hyunjin shuts his laptop and watches unsure on what to do as Felix is talking to you. Felix helps you remove your boots that you were struggling with.

“YN how much did you drink?” Felix asks, realizing right away how drunk his roommate was. Hyunjin stood there unsure of what to do.

“I don’t know. I feel sick,” you mumbles.

Felix pushed your hair away from your face, “did you get in a fight with your dad again.” From what Felix had told him you only got drunk when you and your father got into blow up screaming matches. He said it’s only happened a handful of times.

You swayed a little before Felix pulled you into his chest. Hyunjin was frozen in place, unsure of what to do.

“Are you going to puke?” Felix asked, rubbing your back as he held you close.

“I think so,” you mumbles with the nausea feeling taking over you. “I can’t walk you,” you whined.

Felix takes a deep breath, still rubbing your back. Hyunjin moves closer so he stands right by them and Felix. “Do you need me to carry her?” He finally speaks.

Felix looks up at his friend with a pleading look in his eyes, “please I can’t lift her.”

Hyunjin squats down behind you. He pulls you away from your roommate and you look up at the beautiful boy with long bleached hair. You smile as you close your hazy eyes, unable to focus on him. Without another word he picks you up bridal style and carries you out of the living room. You looked up at him trying to focus on his beautiful lips. How would it feel to kiss someone with pillow soft lips. Reaching up you touch the soft skin that runs across his jaw. Hyunjin feels conflicted suddenly as you touch him in your drunken state.

“Who are you?” Your voice is low and barely audible.

“Hyunjin,” he says as he sits you down on the cold tile floor near the toilet.

“You’re the boy who is always leaving his painting stuff here,” you mumbled.

Before Hyunjin can even respond you start to puke up the dark liquid you drank to forget your fight with your father. Felix came rushing in and held back your hair as you threw up. He rubs your back saying it’s okay. The same sweet encouraging words he always tells you.

Hyunjin watches as Felix gently takes care of you for about thirty minutes before he excuses himself to go get you a bottle of cold water. He comes back into the bathroom handing you the bottle of water and asks for you to drink it. He asks Hyunjin to talk with him in the hallway.

“Hyunjin I hate to do this but I need to go to class. Can you possibly take care of YN until I get home. It’s my Lit class I can’t miss. The class is two hours long and I’ll come right back when I get out of class.” Felix stares at Hyunjin with a pleading look in his eyes.

Before today Hyunjin had never even met you properly and now Felix was asking him to take care of you.

Felix went to class and for a while Hyunjin sat on the bathroom floor next to you. At first he was unsure of what he should do. Sitting on the floor leaning against the wall you started to sober up as you stared at your roommate's friend.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

Bringing the water bottle up to your lips, you drink the cold water. “I’m better now.”

This is the first time Hyunjin officially met you. He sat on the bathroom floor with you for about an hour before you complained about being hungry.

Bending down, he helps you stand up. He helps guide you to the living room where you sit down on the living room couch. He goes off into the kitchen and works on making something to eat. He comes back in with a plate of toast and citrus flavored soda.

“My mom used to always give me this when I was sick growing up.” He sits down on the couch next to you holding out the plate.

Slowly you eat the dry toast hoping it will help fill your empty stomach. You move so you’re sitting on the couch with your back against the arm rest and your legs are curled up close to you.

-LONELY GIRL-

You haven’t ever had someone look after you other than Felix while you’ve been drunk. In the short period of time you’ve known Felix he’s gone out of his way to take care of you when you’ve been a mess, but you didn’t expect his friend who doesn’t really know you to be as kind. You’ve seen him a few times in passing but you never met him. The first time you saw him in your kitchen with Felix you automatically noticed how beautiful he is. Now sitting next to him on the couch you can’t help but stare at his beautiful full lips.

The longer you sit there on the couch eating the better you start to feel.

“Do you want to talk about what you’re feeling?” he asks, holding out the citrus soda for you.

“No,” you shake your head before taking another bite of your toast.

There is something so gentle about the way he looks at you. There is zero judgment in his eyes as he watches you.

“Okay that’s fine.”

You finish the toast he made you and you work on slowly drinking your soda when Felix walks into your apartment. He shuts the door and takes his shoes off. He stops in front of the couch and looks between you and Hyunjin. He sits down on the couch next to you. Reaching over he rests your hand on your knee and gently squeezes it.

“Are you feeling better?”

Silently you nod your head.

“Thank you for taking care of her,” he looks over at Hyunjin.

“No problem.”

“I should probably head home, I need to work on my painting.” You stay on the couch as you watch Hyunjin leave. Felix walks him out before he comes back into the apartment and finds you in the same spot you had been in since Hyunjin helped you to the couch.

“Did you have a bad fight with your dad?” Your roommate hasn’t known you very long but he knows all about your struggles with your family.

“Yes,” you whisper, embarrassed that you let your fight with your father get the best of you.

The rest of the night you spent in your room trying to rest and sober up more. When the morning came you couldn’t help but feel embarrassed that Hyunjin took care of you while you were drunk. Only Felix had really ever seen you that drunk.

Looking over at the clock on your nightstand you were reminded you had class in an hour. You got up to start your day. You brush your teeth and do your hair before getting dressed in something warm to wear for the day. Walking into the kitchen you’re caught off guard when you find Hyunjin sitting at your kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him and his sketch pad. You instantly feel embarrassed this boy had to take care of you while you were drunk. Part of you wants to run, but before you can Felix greets you.

“Good morning YN.”

“Hi,” you awkwardly wave. Sitting down at the small table across from the beautiful boy, Felix placed a cup of coffee in front of you. Hyunjin’s eyes shift from his sketch pad to you a few times as he silently studies you. There is something so gentle about him.

Felix is humming to himself as he’s in the process of mixing together what looks to be his brownies he likes to make. You glance down at the cup of coffee Felix made for you in your favorite yellow cup.

“Thank you for taking care of me,” you whisper just loud enough for Hyunjin to hear.

“I’m glad I could help.” There is a softness behind his eyes, and the way he speaks to you feels sincere.

“How can I repay you for taking care of me?” You feel as if you owe him.

Looking up from his sketch pad again he knits his eyebrows together. “You don’t owe me anything.”

-

It has been a couple weeks since your fight with your dad and the cold winter air has left you feeling a little under the weather.

Luckily you had the day off from class and you could spend the day bundled up on the couch drinking tea. The front door opens and Felix walks in with an exhausted looking Hyunjin. You can’t help but watch him push his fingers through his bleached hair. Felix has mentioned Hyunjin was spending most of his time at the art studio attempting to get ready for a huge art exhibit where he was going to sell his art.

“YN, Hyunjin is gonna hang here while I run to the store for a little while,” Felix says rushing off to his room. Felix leaves as quickly as he arrives and Hyunjin is left in your kitchen sitting at the table with his sketchbook. Getting up off the couch and walking into the kitchen you find Hyunjin making a cup of tea. Looking in your fridge you attempt to find something to eat.

“Are you hungry?” Hyunjin asks, breaking the silence between you.

Turning around you find him watching. He looks so tired sitting there. He is dressed in baggy jeans and a gray hoodie.

“I think we’re out of ramen and I’m not really good at cooking,” you’re a little embarrassed that you don’t know how to cook much more than ramen.

“Did you want me to help you cook something?”

You couldn’t quite figure out why Hyunjin was always offering to help you. Before the night of the fight with your father you hadn’t spoken to him before.

“I would really appreciate that.”

Without saying a word Hyunjin starts moving around your kitchen pulling items out of the fridge and out of the cupboard. You watch him carefully wondering if you could learn to cook from him.

“Thank you again for taking care of me,” you say softly.

“No problem. I’m glad I can help.” He plates lunch for both of you and sits down at the table. You sit across from him. You take two bites of food and you can feel his eyes on you.

“You can say whatever is on your mind,” you say between bites.

“I know it’s not my place to say anything because I don’t really know you or your situation.” You know where this conversation is going. Felix and Seungmin have had similar conversations with you. “Have you thought about talking to someone?”

“Like who?”

“Like a therapist,” you were in the process of finding a therapist. Seungmin offered to help you find one.

“I’m trying to find one. Hyunjin, I want you to know I don’t drink often. There have just been a few fights with my dad that I have gotten drunk after.”

He pauses staring at you as he pushes his food around on the plate with his fork. “If you’re ever upset. You can always come to me. You are more than welcome at my apartment or I can come here.” He sounds so nervous as he is talking to you. “I would like to give you my number.”

Hwang Hyunjin is a sweet boy and too pure-hearted for you. He barely knew anything about you and he was going out of his way to make sure you knew you weren’t alone.

“I would really love to be able to see you when I’m upset. I feel like having someone to talk to would be nice.”

It’s not long before Felix comes back and somehow convinces Hyunjin to take the day off from his art project. You spent the whole day hanging out with the boys and when dinner time rolled around Felix ordered take out and put on a movie in the living room. From that night on Hyunjin became a new fixture in your life.

Since that evening you spent with Hyunjin and Felix. Hyunjin has seemed to be at your apartment nonstop. Felix often leaves him alone with you and you can’t really complain. You’ve grown to really enjoy his company. Many evenings have been spent with Hyunjin drawing in your living room with you watching him.

It’s another day and Hyunjin came over before Felix had class. You asked if he wanted to stay and hang out with you once Felix left for the day.

“What are you doing this evening?” You asked walking over to the kitchen table where Hyunjin was sitting working in his sketchbook.

“I need to go to the studio and try to finish part of my painting,” he looks even more stressed than normal.

“Would you be interested in having some company?”

He knits his eyebrows together studying you for a moment. “You want to hang out with me?”

“I like to think we’re friends so I would like to hang together” The more often Hyunjin comes over with Felix the closer you feel like you have grown to him.

“I want to hang out with you. Yeah you can come with me to the studio.”

The walk to Hyunjin studio isn’t long. The whole way there he talks about this painting he’s been trying to finish. He tells you all about how he is trying to make money off these paintings.

Walking into the studio he leads you over to a corner that he’s clearly taken over. Sitting his backpack down on the floor he pushes his fingers through his hair. You notice right away he seems more nervous than normal.

He takes a deep breath as he starts setting his supplies up. You sit in a chair by the window near him. Your eyes are focused on him as you watch him start to paint. The studio he paints in is very relaxing. You’ve heard from Felix that most of the summer Hyunjin spent here working on painting to sell. You can’t help but admire how driven Hyunjin is to make a living off his art.

“This studio is very peaceful,” you break the comfortable silence that had formed between you. He turns away from his canvas and smiles at you. Getting off the stool you walk towards him accidentally bumping a cup of paint brushes knocking them on the floor. Your cheeks burn with embarrassment as you squat down and start picking them up. He leans down squatting in front of you. “Clearly I’m the opposite of peaceful when I’m here. I’m clearly a walking disaster in every aspect of life.”

He paused, staring at you. He reaches out grabbing your hand before you could pick up another paint brush. “You are far from a walking disaster.” You don’t say anything, you just stare at him. There is sincerity behind his eyes like there always is when he looks at you.

“You have to say that,” you stand up leaving a few paint brushes on the floor.

Hyunjin picks them up and stands in front of you. Silently he reaches out pushing loose hair behind your ear. His calloused fingertips gently grazed your skin. He’s never been this close to you before in what feels like an intimate setting. “Your presence is really calming to me. I really enjoy your company.”

You’ve never felt like somebody truly enjoyed company like Hyunjin does.

“I like spending time with you-“ you pause feeling slightly embarrassed. “I like spending time with Felix and Seungmin, but things are different with you.” You’re aware you have a crush on him and you’re starting to fall for him, but you can't bring yourself to admit it out loud.

“I really like spending time with you.” His hand is lingering on your cheek as you stare at him for a moment. He takes his bottom lip between his teeth before pulling away from you. “You know if you ever want to hang out with me outside your apartment all you have to do is ask.”

“I would like to hang out more outside my apartment.”

Things between you and Hyunjin changed. He became someone you talked to every day. Even if he didn’t come over to your apartment you texted every day and sometimes you even went over to his place. You had been avoiding talking to your parents in attempts to avoid fighting. Many weekends, you find Hyunjin sitting on your couch with you hanging out and watching movies. Even a few times he convinced you to meet up with some of his friends. You quickly learned you liked Chan and his best friend turned girlfriend.

Things seemed to be going pretty good for you and you were pretty happy. Seungmin and Felix's suggestion to talk to a therapist was starting to help. Even though sometimes you felt like you were rambling on about the same thing it was nice to know someone listening.

You tried your hardest to grow and move on from the crippling feeling you were trapped under your parents hold on your life. You spent most of your time with Hyunjin these days or Seungmin, the only other person who truly understood what your life has been like.

Sitting in a coffee shop you were listening to Seungmin talk about some girl he has a bunch of classes with. For the last month Seungmin has been complaining about her. You’ve known him long enough to know he clearly has a crush on this girl.

“Enough about me and this annoying girl. How are things going with you? I feel like I don’t see you nearly as much as I used to. You’re always with Hyunjin now,” you can’t miss the smirk that plays across his lips as he mentions Hyunjin's name.

“I’m okay. Things with my dad are still bad, but I’m seeing a therapist now. Things with Hyunjin are okay.”

“Just okay?” He brings his latte up to his lips.

“He’s my friend Seungmin,” you know your friendship with Hyunjin is odd and it’s clear you like him and you’re pretty sure he likes you.

“I think you like him more than you’re admitting,” he smiles. You’ve known Seungmin for years and he’s always seemed to know what you’re thinking.

“What about you? It seems like you like this girl from your class,” you tease him knowing it will rile him up.

“(YN) you can’t change the subject.”

“He’s my friend and I think he sees me as just his friend,” you sigh.

“Maybe next time you see him you should let him know you like him.”

After your lunch with Seungmin you seemed to think about Hyunjin even more than normal.

-LONELY BOY-

It was a Saturday night and Hyunjin’s apartment was quiet. Changbin and his girlfriend went to a bar with Jisung, Chan and their girlfriends and Minho and Angel went out to dinner. You had a long and tiring day of studying so you decided to call Hyunjin asking if you could come over. Any time you texted him asking to hang out Hyunjin was happy. He had a huge crush on you but was too afraid to admit it. Spending time with you was really bringing him out of his shell.

Sitting on his bed he sketched you without you paying attention. You had become his muse without even trying.

You were scrolling through your phone but kept glancing up at him any chance you got.

“Hyunjin, have you had a girlfriend in college?” You can’t help being curious. Sitting your phone down on the bed next to you.

He pauses looking at you. Biting his bottom lip he studies your face. Taking a deep breath he sighs, “I’ve never had a girlfriend. I’ve never been in a relationship.”

“Oh.”

“I’m quite inexperienced when it comes to girls.” He felt embarrassed admitting this. In his friend group he’s aware he was the only virgin and the only one who was quite inexperienced.

“What do you mean by that?”

“I'm not exactly great at talking to girls.”

“You’re fine talking to Bambi, and Angel,” you pointed out his friendship with the girls in the friend group.

“They’re like sisters to me. I’m not exactly experienced in talking to girls I would like.”

“Oh,” you stop talking. Pausing, you stared at him looking slightly hurt. “Do you see me as a sister?”

He sets his sketchbook down on his bed and looks at you for a long moment. “No.”

“But can you talk to me?”

“You’re different,” a blush creeps across his cheek.

“Is that good?”

“YN what do you want me to say here?” He’s definitely flustered by this conversation. He didn’t plan on confessing he liked you.

“I don’t know. I like you Hyunjin and I was just curious if you liked me.”

“I like you,” he’s trying his hardest to sound confident. The smile that spreads across your face is so heartwarming to him and he can’t help but get butterflies.

“Have you kissed a girl before?” Leaning forward, you get closer to him.

He nods his head. “I’ve kissed people before but haven’t gone much further with anyone.” He still feels embarrassed confessing how innocent he is. He’s managed to get through a few years of college with no sexual experience.

“Have you ever thought of doing more with someone?”

He leans in closer to you really hoping you want to kiss him as badly as he wants to kiss you. “Yes, it’s not that I don’t want to do more. I was a loner in high school and didn’t really have friends and then in college I just had my friend group and I’ve always seen Bambi and Angel as just friends.” He pauses wondering if he rambling on too much. “I’m not exactly great at flirting or letting someone know I’m interested in them.”

“You flirt with me though,” you lean in even closer.

His eyes are wide as he stares at you. He knows you’re teasing him and trying to rile him up, but he knows there’s no malicious intent behind your words. He knows you actually like him.

“Everything with you is different,” he whispers. Your nose brushes against his and it’s taking everything in him not to lean forward and press his lips to yours.

“I’m going to assume that’s good,” you whisper with your lips brushing his. “Would you want more with me?”

Pulling away you leaves him sitting there. You move, straddling his thighs as he sits with his back against the headboard. Hyunjin's head feels like it’s spinning as you sit on his thighs.

“Do you want more with me?” You repeat.

“I’m inexperienced with everything outside of kissing,” he rambles with the tips of his ears bright red.

“That’s fine. If you want more you can learn with me,” the boy below you has really broken down the walls you’ve built and you want to make him feel good.

“YN I really like you, like a lot,” his hand gently rubbed your side earning a smile from you.

“That’s good Hyunjin because I really like you.” He can’t help the goofy smile that plays across his lips.

“I want more with you.” He says.

Without saying another you lean forward pressing your lips to his for your first kiss. One hand rests on his cheek as your lips move together. The moment your lips touched Hyunjin felt the sparks he always hoped he would feel when he found the person he truly liked. His hands gripped your sides holding you close, hoping this kiss wouldn’t end.

-LOST GIRL-

Kissing Hyunjin is everything you wanted it to be. The way he sneaks his hand under your sweater so his hand is resting on the bare skin of your side. Your lips move together and you move your body as close as possible. Your legging cover core comes in contact with his already strained jean cover erection. Pulling away you can’t help but smile. Your fingers tangle in his blonde hair tilting his head back slightly earning a low moan from him. His sweet moans are music to your ears.

“Would you like my help with that?” You’re dying to know what it’s like to touch him.

His eyes go wide at your question and he stutters a bit before responding, “do you want to help?”

“I would love to.”

“Okay. What do I need to do?” He’s obviously nervous.

“Just take your jeans off and sit on the edge of the bed in your boxers.” Sitting on the floor between his legs you look up at him through your eyelashes. “Can you push your boxers down your hips?” He lifts his hips freeing his erection. You can’t help but swallow at the sight of him. “Can I touch you?” You want to make sure he’s fully comfortable with you touching him.

Silently he nods watching you. Reaching out you slowly stroke him the first time earning a moan. Your eyes stay locked on his dark eyes as you stroke his length. Watching him fall apart in your hand is something you’ll never forget. He bites his bottom lip attempting to hold back a moan.

You tighten your grip as both your hands work his length. His lips part and a soft moan passes his lips.

“Do you want my mouth?” You look at him through your lashes.

Silently he nods his head.

Leaning forward you lick his blush colored head that is already leaking precum. You want to know what it’s like for him to fall apart in your mouth. You run your tongue along the underside of his length and he whimpers softly. One of your hands rests on his thigh while the other helps with your ministration. He’s longer than anyone you have ever been with so you’re attempting to take him as much as you physically can. His hands grip the bedding below him.

“YN,” he whines.

Your eyes focus on him as you continue to take him in your mouth.

“I’m going to cum,” he moans. The sight of him so close to the brink of the edge is beautiful.

He tenses under your touch as you pull away. You work on pumping his length hoping he finds his release. With a moan he comes shooting ropes on your cheek and hand. The look on his face completely blissed out is something you’ll never forget.

Wiping away the sticky substance that was left on your cheek you can’t help but smile at how blissed out he looks sitting there.

“I can return the favor,” he’s still attempting to catch his breath.

“I’m okay.” Tonight isn’t about you. You got enough pleasure watching Hyunjin fall apart. You don’t want to rush things with him.

“Did you want to stay the night?” He asks with his eyes still closed as he lays back.

Standing up you walk over to the dresser where you see some loose napkins. You wipe away Hyunjin release from your hand and your cheek. He’s pulling up his boxers and laying on the bed. You can feel his eyes trained on your back.

“You never answered my question,” he says.

“Do you want me to stay the night?”

“Of course I do.”

“Did you want to have sex with me?” You’re curious if he just wants to have sex already.

“Yes I do, but I don’t want to do that tonight. I want you to stay so we could maybe watch a movie and cuddle. I don’t want to rush things. I’m new to all of this.”

Nothing else happened that night between you and Hyunjin. You laid in his bed dressed in his hoodie and a pair of shorts cuddled up next to him. The warmth of his body holding you close made you feel warm and cozy. You felt completely relaxed in his embrace.

When the morning sun rose you cuddled up even closer to him burying your head in his chest.

“Sleeping beauty are you awake?” He asked softly.

“I’m not ready to leave this bed.” You snuggle up closer to his body with your head resting in his chest.

He pulls your body even closer to yours. “You never told me what upset you.”

“I got into a screaming match with my dad and for once after the fight I didn’t feel lonely. I didn’t have a desire to drink away my sadness. I wanted to see you, because you make me happy.”

Your morning with Hyunjin was the domestic normalcy you craved your whole life. Not a single relationship you have ever been in was this simple. You sat in his kitchen he shared with his roommate while he made you breakfast. Sitting at the table you sipped on your coffee and watched him. There was a warmth in your chest whenever you thought about the tall boy with bleached hair. You had grown to care about him deeply and it was clear he cared about you.

When Minho and Angel walked into the kitchen together you couldn’t help but feel slightly nervous. Hyunjin ran off to his room to grab something for Minho. It didn’t take long for Minho to walk over and sit with you.

“YN I don’t really know you well. I can only talk from the outside looking in. I know you can be kinda a hot mess, but I think your intentions are good with him.”

“Minho,” Angel put her hand on his shoulder. Part of you feels like you should be hurt by Minho’s words but you can’t be. You know he’s just looking out for Hyunjin and you’re glad he has people who protect him.

“What Minho is trying to say. Hyunjin is a really sweet and innocent soul. Please don’t break his heart. You seem like a really sweet girl. We just are asking you not to hurt him.” You can’t take anything they're saying personally. You know they would say this to anyone.

“I care deeply for him, and he’s the first person outside of Felix or Seungmin who really seems to care about me. I don’t want to hurt him.”

Nobody can say anything else before Hyunjin comes back into the kitchen. “I don’t need you guys protecting me,” Hyunjin says. Everyone’s eyes focus on him for a moment.

“We know that,” Minho walks over patting Hyunjin on the shoulder.

His two roommates leave you and Hyunjin alone in the kitchen again. Hyunjin just stands there staring at you. You can tell he’s at a loss or what he should say.

“Don’t worry, they didn’t hurt my feelings. It’s nice to know they care about you and truly love you.”

He rests his hand on your cheek gently. He takes a deep breath staring into your eyes, “I like you so much.”

“That’s good because I like you a lot too.”

-

It had been a month since your first sleepover with Hyunjin and in that time he had grown to be not only your safe place, but he truly made you happy. Since that night together there had been a few fights with your parents that led to you running to him. With mascara streaming down your face he wiped away your tears. One particularly bad fight led to him asking to take a shower with him so he could wash away your tears. Standing under the hot water he used strawberry scented shampoo and helped by washing your hair. Rinsing your hair you step back so your wet back is pressed up against him. There’s a sense of comfort you feel when you’re with him. You feel erection pressed up against your lower back. He’s chosen to ignore it and not say anything so you do the same. His arms wrapped around you hugging you from being. He presses his lips to your temple earning a smile.

“Was coming here the first thing that popped into your mind?” He asks, breaking the comfortable silence that has formed between you. He was always the first thing on your mind no matter if you’re happy or sad.

“I didn’t have a desire to drink or do anything other than see you. My therapist said that having someone to talk to when I’m upset is helpful. I don’t feel the need to numb my pain.”

“Are you going to stay the night?”

Since that first night you gave him head you’ve explored other aspects of sexual relationships but haven’t fully had sex. You could tell Hyunjin was still nervous and you didn’t want to do anything that would make him unhappy. If or when you finally have sex and he loses his virginity you want it to be on his terms.

“If you want me to stay. I’ll stay.”

You finish showering and Hyunjin helps you dry off before dressing you in some of his clothes. Laying in his bed curled up next him your head is resting on his chest as he’s talking about another painting he had finished. You could listen to him talk about his art forever.

“Did you want to go to the studio in the morning with me?”

“I’ll go anywhere with you,” you whisper.

You listened to him talk for about an hour before you fell asleep in his arms.

-

It’s been a few weeks and Jisung was throwing a party for his girlfriend’s birthday and you didn’t plan on going when Felix invited you, but when Hyunjin brought it up while you were doing your homework sitting in his room while he was painting you couldn’t say no. You hadn’t really hung out with his friend group all at once. You had hung out with Minho and Angel plenty of times. You quickly learned they did everything together and always had wondered if there was something more between them. You had hung out with the couples in the friend group but never all of them together. You really liked Chan’s girlfriend and Chan was a total sweetheart. The other boys were sweet and the same with their girlfriends.

Hyunjin had originally asked for you to ride over to the party with him, but you had to finish an assignment so you needed to show up later. Figuring out what to wear to this party was a little difficult. You wanted to look nice but didn’t want to look like you put too much of an effort in.

Walking into the busy house you couldn’t help but be nervous. Your eyes roamed the room looking for your favorite boy. You found him standing in the middle of the living room. The moment your eyes locked he rushed over to you. He pulls you into a hug pressing his lips to the top of your head.

“Do you want anything to drink?” He asked you as he pulled away.

“Sure.” He leads you off to the empty kitchen.

“What would you like to drink?” He asks.

“Just a beer.”

Before Hyunjin can walk away you reach down grabbing his hand. You step towards him pressing your lips to his for a kiss. You haven’t really kissed him in front of people. Not even in front of Felix. He reached down resting his hand on your cheek. He smiles pulling away from him.

“I really like you Hyunjin.”

“My cherry girl, I really like you,” your stomach feels like it’s filled with butterflies.

“Can you come home with me tonight?”

“Of course,” he leans forward pressing his lips to yours for another kiss.

With a beer in your hand Hyunjin leads you off towards the living room.

Standing next to Hyunjin in the busy living room you feel so comfortable next to him. There was a time before you knew him where you could be in a crowded room and feel so lonely. But when you’re with Hyunjin you feel almost as if you’re home.

He leans down with his lips brushing your ear. Closing your eyes you smile waiting for him to say something. “What are you thinking about?” His hands gently rub your back.

“Do you ever feel lonely in a room filled with people?” You look up at him.

“I did in high school.” He’s told you before high school wasn’t the best for him.

“I did too before I met you and Felix.”

“Do you still feel lonely?”

Shaking your head you can’t help but smile, “not anymore.”

You spend the whole party by Hyunjin's side. You’ve grown to really like Hyunjin and Felix’s friend group. Everyone is really nice and even Minho seems to have warmed up to you. You’re assuming Angel might have something to do with that. You noticed very early on him and Angel seem to be closer than just friends.

After being at the party for a few hours it’s after midnight and a few people have left. You look around noticing all Hyunjin’s roommates are missing. You saw Changbin make his way out the front door a while ago taking his girlfriend with him. You realize you haven’t seen Angel or Minho in a while.

“Did Minho and Angel go back to the apartment?”

“Probably. Minho doesn’t really like parties and if he leaves normally Angel goes with him.”

“Are you ready to go back to my place?” You can’t help but be a little nervous.

“Yeah.”

Arriving at your apartment you notice Felix still at the party and can’t help but be relieved. Taking Hyunjin's hand you lead him off to your bedroom making sure to lock the door behind you.

Hyunjin stands at the foot of your bed nervously fidgeting with the sleeve of his sweater. Walking towards him you lean up pressing your lips to his for a soft kiss.

“What do you want to do tonight?” You pull away from his lips slowly.

“Um-um-“ he’s stuttering letting you know he’s nervous. “Did you want to have sex?”

You can’t help but smile as you nod. The idea of having sex with him is enough to make your body feel like it’s instantly warming up.

Leaning forward you crash your lips into his for a searing kiss. It takes very little effort for you to both work on removing your clothes. With each passing kiss you notice Hyunjin’s nerves are starting to settle.

With each kiss it’s not long before you’re both fully naked.

Sitting on your knees completely naked between his legs. Leaning forward you rest your hand on his chest. His heart is racing fast. You know he’s nervous, he’s made it clear to you he’s not experienced. You’re nervous yourself because he’s really important to you and you want his first time to be special.

“Lay down for me,” you whisper.

You’re both completely naked. Reaching forward you take his hardened length in your hand. You stroke his length earning a beautiful moan from him. Everything about the boy laying below you is captivating.

“Are you sure you want this?” He asked you. If only Hyunjin knew how much you wanted him. “You’re sober right?” The tiny bit of alcohol has nothing to do with how badly you want him. You barely had anything to drink.

“I’m sober,” you purr. You’ve only had one beer at Jisung’s girlfriend's birthday party. You move so you're straddling his lap with his dick nestled between your legs. “I only drank that one beer.”

He sits up again. His hand takes your hips rubbing your wet core against his hardened length. You moan with your lips close to him. Rolling your hips the head of his cock rubs against your sensitive bundle of nerves. A gasp passes your lips as you roll your head back. Hyunjin’s large hands roam your back as if he’s trying to remember how your skin feels. “Baby,” he whimpers, rutting his hips into yours.

“I want all of you,” you moan.

Leaning forward he presses his lips on your neck. He leaves a wet trail of kisses across your skin.“You can have all of me.” His words set a fire in your veins.

“Are you sure you want your first time with me? I’m kinda a mess according to Minho.”

Reaching out his hand resting on your cheek, “there is no one else I would rather have my first time with.”

“I’m on the pill and clean,” you say. You trust Hyunjin and you hope he trusts you. He just nods.

Lifting your hips you take his length in your hand lining it up with your entrance before slowly sinking down. Hyunjin is bigger than anyone you’ve ever slept with before. There is a long moment of silence between you and the only thing that can be heard is both your heavy breathing. The look on Hyunjin's face is something of pure beauty. His eyes are blown with lust, and his beautiful soft lips are parted as staggered breaths pass them. The burning sensation between your legs causes minimal discomfort as you adjust to his size. You could stay like this forever just sitting on him filled you to the brim as you stare at his beautiful face. You take his face in your hands and gently drag your thumb across his cheek.

“Are you ready for me to move?” You ask.

“Yes.”

Slowly you lift your hips and slide back down his length. The blissed out look that plays across Hyunjin's face is absolutely intoxicating.

His hands roam any and everywhere they can reach. You’ve had quite a lot of sex since you lost your virginity but nothing has ever felt this intimate. Your name leaves his lips like a prayer. With each drag of his cock touching just the right spot inside you you can’t help but moan. Keeping a steady pace your lips crash into his muffling the moans that keep passing your lips. One of his hands takes your breast massaging it and earning a gasp as he tweaks your hardened nipple.

“I’m so close-“ he gasps “please- please- please,” he’s pleading desperately on the edge of finding his release. “Please tell me you’re close.”

Nodding your head you reach down to start rubbing your sensitive clit hoping to find your release with him. His lips are all over your neck leaving a trail of wet kisses as you fall apart moaning his name. He takes the leap right with you pulling you down to his lap keeping your body close to his still moaning as he paints your walls white. He doesn’t last very long for his first time, but everything about your time together is perfect. His head rests on your shoulder as he takes slow deep breaths trying to come down from his high. Pushing him back gently he lays down with you still on top of him. He’s still nestled inside you with no sign of pulling out.

“I like you so much,” he whispers before pressing his lips to your shoulder.

“I like you too Hyunjin.”

-

It’s been a month since you and Hyunjin’s first time. Things have been going great. You’re with him practically all the time and he makes you really happy. You’ve done your best to avoid talking to your parents. It’s been quite easy when Hyunjin is great at distracting you. You spend many evenings in the studio with him while he’s painting. You normally sit on the floor watching him while you work on your homework. You can’t help but feel proud watching him complete each of his pieces he’s been working hard on.

Today isn’t a great day for you. Your father managed to get ahold of you and your fight you had was uglier than normal. He can't seem to get past the idea of setting you up in arranged marriage like your sister was practically set up in. The phone call ended with you saying you were done. You told him he no longer controlled your life or got to make decisions for you.

Your screaming match with your father left you a crying mess. You knew when you were upset like this you needed to call Hyunjin or even Felix but you didn’t, instead you reached for the bottle of whiskey you had in your closet you hadn’t touched in a very long time.

Grabbing the bottle you head off to the kitchen grabbing a can of coke and sitting down at the table with a glass in front of you. You quickly drink the first strong concoction you made attempting to help with the anger and sadness taking over you. After multiple therapy sessions and getting to know Hyunjin you know this isn’t helping you. But right now you’re so upset it doesn’t matter.

You make a second drink and sit down as Felix walks into your apartment with Hyunjin right behind him. Felix stops in the kitchen the moment he notices you and steps aside as Hyunjin eyes locked on you. A sad look plays across his face and you instantly feel terrible.

Felix pats Hyunjin’s back and says, “I’m gonna go out to lunch with Seungmin.”

Hyunjin doesn’t say anything as he walks across the kitchen and sits down across from you silently.

The front door shuts letting you know Felix has left, leaving you alone with Hyunjin.

The silence in the room is louder than anything you’ve ever experienced. You instantly regret that you didn’t call Hyunjin the moment you hung up the phone with your father.

You take a sip of your jack and coke, and stare at Hyunjin who is intently watching you. The bitter liquid hits your tongue and your eyes never leave his. Bringing the cup down, you watch him carefully. He seems at loss for words.

“You clearly want to say something,” you break the silence that's formed between you.

He pushes his fingers through his bleached hair that is already showing his dark roots. “Why are you drinking?” He knows you, and he knows that the only reason you would be drinking at eleven in the morning is if you’re upset. Pushing your drink away from you and rubbing your face. How do you tell him that you might lose everything because you told your dad you were done.

“I talked to my dad.”

“I’m assuming it didn’t go well?” he reaches out, taking the cup away from you. You don’t say anything, you just watch him look at the cup. “Maybe you should drink less unless you want to become an alcoholic.”

His words feel like a bucket of ice water poured on you. You bite your bottom lips trying to take in what he just said. His words are harsh but you know he’s saying it only because he cares about you. He’s told you before he doesn’t like you drinking so his words shouldn’t be that shocking. “Maybe you should work less because you’re already a workaholic.”

He just rolls his eyes and shakes his head at your retort. “I’m a workaholic because I need to make money off these paintings.” He gets up walking over to the sink to pour out your drink you’ve barely touched.

You feel like an asshole for calling him a workaholic. You know why Hyunjin works like he does. He’s trying his hardest to support himself. He’s also been trying his hardest not to overwork himself. According to Angel before you Hyunjin didn’t hangout with anyone who wasn’t in his little friend group.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that,” you say softly. You want to cry again at the thought of hurting his feelings.

“YN you know why I made the comment about you drinking?” You don’t say anything, you just stare at him. “It’s because I care about you. I don't just care about you as a friend, I like you a lot and I need you to stop drinking when you fight with your dad. I’m aware you don’t drink every day, but I wish when you were upset you would at least talk to me. I thought you realized I want you to feel like you can always come to me.”

“Hyunjin I told my dad today I’m done with the family. I’m probably going to lose everything. I told him I don’t want to talk to them anymore.”

He doesn’t say anything, he just stares at you for a long moment before silently blinking. Without saying a word he stands up and walks over to your chair and holds out his hand. Taking his hand you stand up. He doesn’t say anything as he pulls you into a hug. He holds you close with your cheek resting against his chest. He rubs your back and you suddenly don’t feel hurt by your fathers words. You hold him close not wanting to let go of the boy who is breaking down your walls.

“You don’t need your fathers approval to be happy,” He pressed his lips to the top of your head. Your eyes brim with tears when you realize your whole life you’ve tried getting away from your fathers plan for you, there was a part of you that so desperately wanted his approval. Salty tears slide down your cheek soaking his tan sweater. “I’m sorry you’re hurt, and I wish you would realize that I would do anything to make you happy.”

Pulling away you look up into his pretty brown eyes. Your hand rests on his cheek, and gently you drag your thumb across his plush bottom lip. Pulling away from him you rub your face pushing away your tears. “(YN) I want you to know I love you.”

Your chest tightened for a moment at his confession. You push away your tears knowing no one will care for you like he does. He’s fallen in love with you after seeing you at your best and your absolute worst. Even seeing you crying a mess he still loves you.

“Hyunjin I love you too.” You’ve known since that night you slept together for the first time you had fallen for him.

“Please stop drinking because you’re upset with him. Just come to me when you need someone to talk to.”

“Okay.” You whispered, hugging him tightly.

The rest of the night you don’t touch any more alcohol. Hyunjin cooks you lunch and you spend the day together. You start by watching a movie in the living room before you move to your bedroom with the intention of just cuddling but it’s not long before you’re both lying in bed naked.

He’s hovering over you slowly thrusting into you. Your hands cling to his back holding him close as your lips move together. One leg is hooked over his back with your foot resting right above his butt. You moan his name encouraging him. His thrusts are slow but deep. After your first time together Hyunjin took the time to learn the perfect way to make you fall apart. You reach your hand between your two bodies and rub quick circles on your sensitive clit.

His nose rests against your as he continues his slow pace, “baby are you that desperate to cum?”

“I need you,” you gasp as the coil in your stomach tightens. “I’m so close,” you practically whine.

“Then cum baby,” he crashes his lips into yours muffling your moans.

He finds his own release shortly after. He removes himself from you and lays down next to you with his body plastered against yours. You can’t help but smile as you look over at him in his blissed out state. You’ve managed to fall in love with him without even trying.

-

Things weren’t always going to be sunshine and rainbows. You were still going to fight with your parents when they tried to contact you, but after long talks with Hyunjin he always told you that things would work out. Things between you were good and you were absolutely in love with him. Nobody has ever made you happy like he has.

When his art exhibition rolled around it was an absolute hit. He managed to sell all his paintings and make more than he thought he would. You can’t help but feel proud knowing he worked so hard to achieve his goal.

After a night out celebrating with all his friends at the bar he hovered over your naked body repeating how much he loved you between kisses across your jaw. There is nobody else you would have rather fallen in love with then him. You love him with your whole heart and soul, and know he feels the same way about you.

𝐚𝐧: I can’t lie I struggled writing this and I felt self conscious with the switching pov. I hope everyone enjoyed this part of SSFW.

𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐝 in any future college au stories or any Hyunjin stories 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 by filling out this form.

[vmpiires]

﹆₊ 画家‧₊˚ THE BLOOD PAINTER, KAMO CHOSO

𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 ﹆₊ 概要 ‧₊˚ art; the painter‘s hidden identity is made known. wc, 3.42K. dark mode recommended.

␥ note. i’m back with this storyyyy. getting near the good part which also means the end but not just yet sooo just keep reading. hope ya enjoyyyy and reblog to support meee.

␥ tags. artist!choso, college AU, possible nsfw, female anatomy, smoking, etc. lmk if i missed anything

␥ misc. masterlist AO3 PART THREE

the art class was bustling with students, the scent of paint and clay wafting through the air. choso sat at his usual spot stealing glances from you. the professor announced a small project; drawing and painting your partners. but there was a twist—only two colors could be used.

choso’s heart raced as ideas began to flood his mind. everyone scattered around to their new seats and the male instantly scooted next to you. he smiled at you. it was something about that shy smile he gave you before he quietly asking if he could draw you.

“let me draw you first,” you smiled. “i don’t want you getting caught up with me and i completely forget to draw you.”

“oh, i don’t know…i’m not really good with posing or anything. and i’m not able to sit still for very long.” choso warned but you only smacked your lips as if the boy was spewing nonsense right out of his teeth.

“quit doubting yourself. you got nice style and your face would literally be perfect on a magazine cover maybe even in the art show that’s coming up.”

“art show?” choso raised a brow. for someone that loved art contests and taking trips to museums just to stare at the portrait hanging on the white walls encased in an embezzled gold frame, he seemed surprised about this information.

“yeah. don’t know how you haven’t heard about it but i was thinking of putting my painting of you in once it was finished.” you looked down at your blank canvas that was resting flat on the table just as it did when you first arrived to class.

“oh, no, you shouldn’t—i mean..you can if you want to it’s your painting but…i really don’t like being the center of attention. i don’t really like being stared at.” choso explained. he bit down on his lower lip and he sighed.

“come on, it’ll be a powerful piece.” you beamed. “i feel like it’ll really make an impact on the audience. and i promise i won’t use your name if you don’t want me to.”

choso hummed, his lips pursed before speaking again. “um…well if you think so highly of the piece then i guess i can’t say no. just promise you won’t tell anybody it’s me.”

“sure. now just hold still for me.” you say with a smile.

classes finally end for the day and the two of you made progress on your art pieces. you decided to ask choso to spend the rest of the day together, to which he agreed to without hesitation.

you both gathered your items and headed out into the bustling city of tokyo. the sun is setting, painting the sky in hues of orange and pink. you and choso arrive at a cozy cafe and settled into a booth by a large window, surrounded by the warm aroma of freshly brewed coffee.

the two of you had been there for a good thirty minutes talking about whatever came to mind, bouncing from topic to topic and bookmarking whatever part of the conversation you thought was interesting for another time.

“so, choso, you’ve always been into art?”

“yeah, well, i’ve always had a creative side, but i never really pursued it until recently. art helps me express things that are hard to put into words, you know?”

you nod. you never seen his art before and you just wondered how he had done things. your eyes travel over to the tote bag that was sitting flatly beside choso’s thigh. you fixed your lips to speak but a camera flash went off. you were pretty used to his off guard photos ever since the two of you started to hang out more often.

“can i see?” you leaned your body over the polished wood table before choso lowered his camera.

“not yet.” he answered. “mmm…i’ll show you when the project is complete. until then, i’ll have to hold off on showing you.”

you pout but you could understand why choso was being a bit selfish with his crafts. instead of begging to see a photo of yourself, which you prayed you didn’t blink in, you pointed to his bag.

“why don’t you finish your sketch? i mean, we have a lot of privacy right now and we don’t have any classes tomorrow. i also wanna watch you paint. its something about watching an artist in action is just so satisfying.” you say.

choso, lost in the depths of his own world, takes a sip of his green tea when he hears your unexpected statement. he recently started drinking it a bit more since that was the only thing he actually liked besides ice water.

feeling a surge of nervousness and excitement, choso shifts in his seat. painting in front of someone, especially you, made him feel vulnerable in a way he isn’t used to.

“i’m not sure…” choso looks down at his cup half filled with tea, which still had smoke billowing from it because of how hot it was. “i’ve never painted with someone else in the room before. it’s a pretty personal process for me.”

“c’mon, please? just for a minute.” you pleaded, clasping your hands and intertwining your fingers to be dramatic. choso chuckled at your silly behavior and simply sighed.

“let’s head back to the school and you can watch me work in my room, fair?” choso looks at you, awaiting an answer. of course, you agree.

back at jujutsu tech, you and choso were settling in, slipping your shoes off once you entered the room and placing your bags together against the wall.

you were amazed at how much space he had and how organized he was. the books on the bookshelves were all in size and color order and so were the cute little jars of paint that were on another shelf but you noticed that there was no red paint.

the desk was neatly organized also with choso’s laptop and ipad with its stylus side by side, charging. there was a mug with a bunch of pencils and pens and another cylinder item that looked handmade and painted with brushes in them. you assumed choso made it.

there was an easel in the corner of the room by the large windows that had blinds that would be shortly opened to let in some of the remaining light as the sun set. choso grabbed a few brushes and the rolling chair that sat at his desk and pulled it over in front of the easel and sat down. the male then reached for the canvas that had the drawing of you from his bag and placed it onto the easel. he looked pretty prepared now.

“you mind filling me a cup of clean water from the faucet?”

the question snaps you out of your awe-stricken mind and you nod. you went to the kitchen area and grabbed a cup that didn’t look like it would be used any time soon and filled it with water then brought it back to choso. he directs you to place the cup on the desk before thanking you for the simple gesture.

you noticed choso had his eyes closed now, taking a few breaths before removing the bandage on his nose and trashing it. you saw how blood shot from the black mark running over the bridge of his nose and onto the palette that was in his lap.

choso picks up one of the brushes and dipped it into the crimson liquid that had also been running down his face and began to paint. once the brush hits the canvas, all his nerves seem to dissipate, replaced by the familiar focus that comes with creating.

as choso dips his brush into the blood-infused paint, the room falls silent. the only sounds are the soft scrapes of the brush against the canvas and the occasional drips of paint.

you watched as colors of red and black filled the canvas. you weren’t familiar with the meanings of specific colors but the way you were drawn on his canvas as royalty, you could see sophistication and passion. choso put the brush down and rolled up his sleeves and began to use his fingers to paint. smearing the colors together with his knuckles.

your eyes sparkled, entranced, as choso’s knuckles danced across the canvas, blending the deep reds into the black that was present. the male was aware that he was in need of a palette knife but he’s never gotten the time to buy any.

“the way you use blood for your art is actually unique.” you spoke, breaking the silence. “i guess it adds depth and richness that’s hard to describe. it looks like the painting is alive almost.”

you were seeing it with your own eyes, his art style was hauntingly beautiful. you never seen anything like it. this whole scenario made you wonder if blood was often used when he painted or was this just a perfect coincidence. you slouch in your chair, in thought once again.

“blood has always been a part of me. a part of everyone, i should say. but mine is a curse and a blessing. incorporating it into my art feels natural to me. it’s like i’m putting a part of myself into each piece.” choso murmured.

“um…you know, i never heard you talk about your parents much, only your brothers. they must be really proud of you…you being all smart and artistic and such.” you say softly.

choso’s hand freezes mid stroke, his expression darkening. he sets down his brush and turns to face you. you see how that empty expression of his appeared onto his face again.

“my parents…they’re not in the picture. my mom isn’t alive and my dad was never proud of me. he only saw me as a tool, a weapon to be wielded. i’m happy he left me behind…”

your expression softens. on the outside, choso looked like he had it all. he was attractive, smart, talented, hell if he wasn’t the smartest guy around he probably would’ve gotten in just for being attractive and talented. he seemed perfect. but in reality, he was living in a fucked up world holding on to his creations for comfort.

“i’m so sorry, choso. i probably shouldn’t have brought that up and make you relive painful memories. but despite your past, you managed to create something beautiful out of the darkness. that takes a lot of courage and strength.”

choso nods, his gaze returning to the painting. he picks up his brush once again, lost in thought. he exhaled from his nose. though the topic did hit a nerve, he felt like he could trust you.

“it’s…fine i guess. it was a while ago. my brothers were the ones who helped me escape that life. we all live for each other and nothing can make me change that narrative. they’re my family and we’ve been through a lot together.”

“they must be really important to you, huh? you see them often?” you query. choso nodded again.

“as much as i can. i don’t really have the funds to constantly take train rides back and forth from my house to here and vice versa. we try to stay in touch, the most i can do is call them each night. yuji and eso are busy with their own business and you know they have to keep kechizu close because he’s pretty childlike and clings to eso like he’s his savior.”

you noticed the small smile on his face as he spoke of his brothers. him being the eldest, you would’ve expected him to severely despise his brothers but it seemed like he couldn’t even say the word ‘hate’ when talking about them. it was actually pretty sweet.

as the evening comes to an end, you find yourself standing outside of choso’s room and he’s leaning against the doorframe, his sleeves still rolled up, revealing thin strips of stitches along his forearm.

“what happened to your arm?” you point, making choso break his gaze and follow your finger to where you had been pointing. he only shrugged.

“a stupid accident. nothing too much to worry about.” he answered, rubbing the brand new bandage he had over his nose. his cheeks were still a little red from the blood that had been running down his face earlier.

“you should keep your bandage off. that mark is a part of who you are, and you know i accept that.” you say. choso is taken aback by your words, his hand instinctively touching the bandage again.

“it’s…not easy. people have always been afraid of me because of what what i am. it’s just easier to keep it hidden.”

“but you don’t have to hide from me. i see you, choso, for who you are, not what you are. you’re a human just like any other person here. and i think your mark is pretty cool, actually.”

choso couldn’t help but smile at your words. maybe—just maybe you had a point. maybe it was time for him to change his ways. get out of his comfort zone a little.

“um…yeah, thanks. i’ll think about it. goodnight.”

“goodnight, choso.”

“and this one would be called ‘the blood painter’.” the announcer spoke as the crowd followed around. it was perfect. better than anything else being displayed. choso stood in front of the painted canvas, staring at his own face looking down at his own partially painted portrait with a crimson liquid dripping from his nose and onto the canvas. there was a white cup filled with tea, which had been leaking from the sides as if it were overfilled.

his hair flopped down into his face before lifting a hand to brush it back with his fingers. he was awestruck. how could you have painted something like this with almost no experience. he could’ve sworn you said you were horrible at this kind of thing…maybe his memory was faulty.

“it’s perfect….” you hear him mumble as he stepped closer to the portrait. he was so tempted to touch it but he abided by the rules of not touching or taking any photos of the paintings being displayed. “how did you do this? you couldn’t have—no, you did…but this is so different from your drawing.”

“it was only a sketch. a way to get your features and everything properly. but a few days ago when we hung out, i thought i’d make something more expressive.” you grinned.

“i’m impressed.” choso’s eyes sparkled. “it’s like you captured my soul onto the canvas. i mean, i’ve seen art that expresses the soul of another person but this one is—wow.”

the male looked at you and his cheeks flushed a little. “maybe i got a little too excited. you did a nice job on your painting. hopefully you got a passing grade on it.”

you smiled at choso’s excitement and love for the art you made of him. you both knew it was simply for an assignment that would be graded then tucked away forever or thrown into a nearby dumpster but this was a sentimental thing. it was like a piece that needed to be preserved.

as you both stood in the middle of the large crowds, you two could hear people praising the painting for its raw emotion and style. one patron mentioned that it gave off a bit of a edgy feeling despite the cozy looking background.

choso was a bit surprised and delighted by the positive reactions, he felt a sense of pride in his portrait and the artist that created it—you. he turned to you with a smile on his face.

“i never thought my own portrait would have an impact like this.” choso said shifting his weight onto one leg. “see, now i kinda regret not letting you reveal my name.”

“you’re okay. it’ll make you a mystery man like the mona lisa…well she’s a real person but you get it, don’t you?” you chuckle lightly and choso does just that right along with you.

“i get it. but i’ll never be as known as she is. i’ll only be a mystery man that’s occasionally seen in shibuya.” he said. you threw your arm over choso’s shoulder and waved your hand dismissively.

“sure you will. one thing will lead to another. when you start seriously pursuing art and get your name out there, people will realize that you’re this man in the picture.” you pointed to the portrait, lightly tapping your nail against it as it created a hollow sound. you knew that you weren’t supposed to touch anything but you didn’t seem to care that much. you even went out your way to take a quick picture of it—it was surprisingly clear.

“they’ll call you signore kamo.” you added.

“you know italian?” choso raised a brow, a bit surprised by your pronunciation and how casually you said that word.

“nope, i googled it.” you smile innocently. choso released a breath as if he had been holding it for a while and returned a soft smile to you.

the art show ends and you and choso found yourselves walking close by each other on the sidewalk. the streetlights and neon lights from buildings illuminating your way as you walked back to the university. choso saw that you were on the left of him, closer to the street so he stoped to trade places with you.

“what was that for?” you ask as you put your hands down into your pocket. you had a feeling on exactly why choso did what he did but you just wanted to hear it from his mouth.

“well, just in case something happens, i’ll be hit first and you won’t have to worry about getting hurt.” choso stated, glancing at the street littered with parked cars. your instincts seemed to be correct but your lips involuntarily stretched into a smile anyway and you felt your face heat up a bit.

upon arriving back to the dorms, the two of you stood in the commons, your shadows stretching long in the dim light. since quiet hours were approaching, it was about time the two of you part ways once again until tomorrow. you turn to face each other, a mixture of contentment and longing in your eyes.

“i guess this is where we call it a day. thank you again for everything.” choso says and you nod.

“of course.” you beamed. “i had a really nice time with you today. and don’t forget that you don’t have to hide who you are around me. your true self is beautiful.”

“i’ll remember it.” choso replied before being caught off guard by your sudden hug. you flung your body into him and squeezed his sides a bit. his violet eyes widened as he contemplated on leaving you to cling onto him or hug you back. no one besides his brothers had ever given him a hug.

slowly and awkwardly his arms snaked around your body, finally returning a hug back to you. you both lingered there for a moment, holding on to each other before breaking away.

“hey, dinner on friday?” you ask.

“it’s a date.” choso replied, only making your smile grow. you both say your goodbyes and wave to each other before walking off in the opposite direction to head off to your rooms for the night.

but then another guy came along.

“hey, you got a second?” kashimo whispered. choso never interacted with the guy much but they’ve spoken enough to know how one another looked and each other’s names. sighing, choso obliged.

“i noticed the way you talked to that girl over there just a few seconds ago. you seriously scored.” the cyan haired male smirked at choso. “obviously, there’s something special between you two. maybe i could offer you some advice on that front?”

choso’s eyes narrowed, and as usual, his defensive walls go back up. he was never really comfortable with talking about his personal life, especially with someone he didn’t know all that well.

“i don’t need help with my love life, kashimo. i’m handling it perfectly fine.” choso crossed his arms. kashimo would put his hands up in a placating gesture.

“no pressure. i’m just saying that sometimes it’s easier to open up to someone who isn’t directly involved, you know? sit with me at lunch tomorrow. we can discuss this later.” the other lightly punches choso’s shoulder before heading out of the entrance doors.

“he’s weird.” choso muttered.

⠀© vmpiires | like, reblog & follow.

[thgfanfictionlibrary]

Mature Rated Fics Masterlist (24)

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Part 13 / Part 14 / Part 15 / Part 16 / Part 17 / Part 18 / Part 19 / Part 20 / Part 21 / Part 22 / Part 23 /

Created: January 6th, 2024

Last Checked:------

Acceptable Payment: A Date With Katniss Everdeen-rEckLeSsLy.cOnFIneD (ff.net) Summary: "That Katniss was currently aware of, she needed to do two things: First, she needed to inform Johanna about everything that was Peeta Mellark. Second, she needed her help to make sure that she was most beautiful version of herself she had ever been for this New Year's Party." [Modern AU. Everlark.]

Curious Kat-MissprissHG (ff.net) Summary: While on the Victory Tour, Katniss suddenly becomes very curious and Peeta is the only one who she feels safe enough to ask. Will he answer her questions? Will he show her what she wants? Find out how Katniss explores her newfound sexuality with Peeta.

Mind Games-Samh1212 (ff.net) Summary: Katniss is a freshman in college. She picked a school hundreds of miles away from home hoping to avoid any and all connections to her past. Suddenly, she's paired with Peeta Mellark, a guy from her hometown, to do a somewhat unconventional project for her human sexuality class. Modern Day AU

i've been on fire, dreaming of you-orangecranscones (ao3) Summary: "I have plenty of fire myself. What I need is the dandelion in the spring. The bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. The promise that life can go on, no matter how bad our losses. That it can be good again." Katniss and Peeta try to heal after the revolution. And they (mainly Katniss) finally learn how to love each other.

Secrets I Have Held in My Heart-flythroughflames (ff.net) Summary: I was cold to him, nasty even. I acted like there was nothing I wanted to do less than spend time with him. But every night, I would fantasize about him.

Sneak Attack-burkygirl (ao3) Summary: A surprise during Peeta's walk home from the bakery could change everything. A little winter Everlark interlude post-Victory Tour.

The Night Belongs to Lovers-burkygirl (ao3) Summary: Katniss finds it easier to be honest about her feelings for Peeta at night when no one else can see. Everlark growing back together in three scenes inspired by Because the Night Belongs to Lovers, co-written by Patti Smith and Bruce Springsteen. Trigger warnings for language, allusions to torture and sexual content.

Twelve-HGRomance (ff.net) or on (ao3) Summary: She has loved him since the day he tossed her that bread. And she thinks that she'll never win his heart. Because all he's ever done is pretend for the crowd…but what if one real moment could change that? One-shot. Canon Divergence. The Victory Tour in role reversal.

Under My Skin-Court81981 (ff.net) Summary: One-shot. Katniss takes a temporary job as a nude model, intending to get through the month and collect a paycheck. She doesn't expect the blond-haired, blue-eyed art student in the front row to affect her so quickly, nor does she anticipate falling in love when he needs her help for a private project.

You Put Your Arms Around Me and I'm Home-mrsbonniemellark (ao3) Summary: What would happen if Peeta hadn't been hijacked and Katniss and Peeta were allowed a private reunion?

[armoreddragon]

how did you first get into making this stuff? do you enjoy it?

There's a lot of possible answers here.

For a couple years after college, I worked at a laser engraving and cutting shop. Leather was a material we knew we could cut, but nobody ever asked for it, so I looked up some basic info and put together some masks as demo pieces. Then I got fired for unrelated reasons, but decided to keep going with the masks on my own. A decade later, I’m still going.

I've always enjoyed making things. The focused calm of working a craft, the challenge of finding the problems that need solving, followed by the satisfaction of holding in your hands something that hadn't exited before. It’s hard to beat that feeling. If you haven’t done it for a while, I highly recommend making a habit of it.

Sometime in college I realized that if I kept making things just for myself, I would eventually run out of both space in my closet and money in my bank account. So I took the best photos I could of what I had, and started posting it up on Etsy.

In high school ceramics class, I had an idea to try and make a flexible dragon skin out of little bits of clay, all glazed differently. I had no idea how to do this. A friend of mine was like "Yo it sounds like you want to look up how to make chainmail for that." She was right.

I work in architecture by day, and the decision to do that was unrelated but definitely related to my crafting obsession. Designing a kitchen, a café, a house, takes months or years of work, most of which is tedious details like picking tile patterns or looking up exactly what order to layer different sealant tapes to make sure the walls are watertight. Designing a crafting project gives me a creative outlet that is immediate. I can sit down for an afternoon and take an idea from a sketch on trace paper, to a final mask formed up out of leather. There's an excitement to that. A reminder that, yes, I can make cool stuff quickly, without needing to sink two years into a project.

For a while I worked to teach myself to draw. I managed to get pretty decent at sketching from life, with a moderate understanding of anatomy and perspective. I liked art, so I thought I wanted to make art. But I struggled with it. If I was drawing something from my imagination, no matter how well I managed to put the lines down on the paper, I would ultimately look at it and just be sad that it didn't exist in the real world. So eventually I gave up on the drawing part, and focused on the part I seemed to actually care about.

I can't envision a version of myself that doesn't make things. I think on some fundamental level, I measure my worth as a person based on what I put forth into the world. I don't know what else to do.

When you decide to turn a hobby into a business, it of course takes some of the delight away. It's no longer something you do when you want to relax and have some fun. It becomes an obligation, to make and ship orders on time, to pack up your stuff and bring it to craft fairs, to track your expenses and file your taxes, to stay on top of the constantly changing social media landscape. But it also lights a fire under your ass. You can't just keep making the same thing you made three years ago–you have to keep making new stuff, keep improving your techniques, keep reaching for new ideas that have never been made before. You lose some of the joy, but you gain a lot of satisfaction.

All through my childhood I filled my closet with little handicrafts kits, that I got as gifts or that caught my eye when following my dad to the art store. Calligraphy, wood carving, weaving looms, boondoggles, spirographs, knitting, crochet, fancy nautical knots, sculpey, and more that I can't remember. After all those different things, I’m so glad that I found a couple specific crafts that really grabbed me, that take enough work to develop expertise, that have expansive enough applications and possibilities, that I could devote a decade or more of my time to focusing on them.

I’d been interested in the furry fandom ever since little fantasy reading teenager me tried looking for stories where the dragons were the main characters, and I found people online who were doing just that. There’s a powerful do-it-yourself attitude that’s baked into the core of the fandom: The world isn’t giving us the art that we want, so we’re going to make it ourselves. I keep having ideas for things that I want, that don’t exist yet. If I want them to exist, I have to be the one to make them.

My dad was a photographer, and I spent many childhood afternoons with him in his darkroom in the basement, delightedly washing negatives, turning them gently over in their canisters of chemicals, sitting still in the dark as Dad unspooled the sensitive film, squinting in the red light as the projected images magically re-emerged on the clean white paper. What could be more amazing, more normal, more right, than having your own little space to work such magic for yourself.

In about 2008 or 9 I ordered my first batch of metal scales, with the idea of trying to make a dragon tail in time for Halloween. It took probably a couple weeks to figure out how to make it, and within a week I had thought of how to do it better and disassembled the entire thing. By the 3rd or 4th time I'd rebuilt it, I thought that it was probably good enough that I wouldn't feel embarrassed to post it online and see if someone might want to buy it.

Of course I love working on these things I make. But I don't think that's exactly why I make them.

[kisstuals]

the art of love [m.list]

PAIRINGS. dream 00 line x fem reader CONTAINS. fluff, angst, romance, college!au, art school!au & other various aus WARNINGS. cursing, alcohol consumption, suggestive content, more to be added INSPO. personal experience, the kdrama nevertheless, for the titles & beatopia by beabadoobee  NOTE. check end for extended authors note! while all of these take place in the same universe and are loosely connected, they can be read as standalones! if you’d like to be added to the taglist, send me an ask! and i hope u enjoy what is to come <3

The New School of Arts at Neo University has a top ranking, state-of-the-art program for all aspiring artists. With any distinguished college degree comes sleepless nights, copious amounts of coffee and hours spent working, but students Jeno, Jaemin, Renjun and Haechan find it especially difficult to balance their professional passions with, well, their personal passions. Will they be able to figure out the art of love before they venture out into the real world?

LIKEWISE, 

pairing. sculpture major!jeno x sculpture major!reader contains. fluff, romance, angst, college!au, sculptor!au, classmates!au

Despite having had several classes with Lee Jeno, you never realize how much you have in common with him– that is, until you have to spend your entire semester working on a sculpture piece together for the new exhibit at your school’s gallery.

UNDOUBTEDLY,

pairing. photography major!jaemin x neuroscience major!reader contains. fluff, romance, minor angst, childhood best friends to lovers!au, college au

Everyone thought that you and Jaemin would end up together, but something always seemed to get in the way. After years of missed opportunities (and both of you being complete dumbasses), Jaemin realizes how undeniable your presence is in his life, all thanks to his photography final.

NEVERTHELESS,

pairing. theater major!haechan x journalism major!reader x painting major!renjun contains. fluff, romance, angst, college!au, theater!au, enemies to lovers!au or friends to lovers!au

On one hand you have the loud and annoying (yet, unfortunately attractive) Haechan, the lead of the play you are covering for your article. And, on the other hand you have his kind and approachable (yet, emotionally unavailable) best friend, Renjun, who volunteers with the set design crew in his free time. Perhaps… this was much more than you signed up for.

LEELA’S NOTE. hi omg welcome to kisstuals, this is the first thing i am planning on posting here :) honestly i was scared to start with a series because it's a lot of pressure but i am way too excited not to. this is pure escapism for me because i am an art student and i am planning on projecting all my thoughts and desires onto these fics lol. that being said, a lot of this is based on my personal experiences in art school but obviously there are other parts where i have to fill in on my own. i haven’t started writing any of these but please let me know if you’re looking forward to this so i can motivate myself to write! i also have a bonus piece planned already if i can get through these initial ones!!! also some of these are from dream’s pov, others are from reader’s pov, it’s just whatever is convenient for the storyline. but pls pls lmk ur thoughts and keep ur eyes peeled for some teaser content!!! xoxo, leela

© kisstuals, 2022

[neekachui]

As of June 1st, 2024, I have completed my Bachelor of Fine Arts in Animation! 🐝 This post is a little different from my usual art posts, but I simply wanted to share since it’s a pretty big thing that has happened in my life to have happened recently. I know I could just copy and paste one of the versions of my little spiel posted on the other pages I have, but what’s the fun in that, especially if I have more room to share here? Technically I already had a little speech here, almost ready to post, but it ended up not saving, so I’m going to try to recover what I can from my memory ,:0 (Also I feel like this is so much longer than my past little speeches on this combined, but I feel pretty good getting it all out once again ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

The past four years have definitely been a rollercoaster for me, and in so many ways. I started attending virtual classes while also being registered to an entirely different campus for my first two years, since a lot was happening in the world a few years ago—and still kind of is now, but that’s a whole other topic. Anyways, I eventually ended up transferring from Atlanta to Savannah by the end of that period, as it was overall a more beneficial option in several ways, and it wasn’t until my third year that I would finally attend classes in person. But even so, my third year still had me feeling a little out of place. I did attend class, but I feel like I had limited myself by wearing a mask a majority of the time. To put it simply, I feel like every year I had spent with this college, I was finding a new persona or side of myself, and while it did feel weird, they eventually helped me learn more about myself as well. When it was finally my senior year, it felt like I had somewhat of a blank slate, since I don’t think people recognized my face without the mask, or at least that’s what it felt like? I decided to make the most out of my final year, and while I would definitely do some things differently, I think I was successful in achieving that goal for the most part.

Overall, I feel like I had learned so much with each new experience. My last year was mainly made up of working on my senior capstone film, an adult comedy 2D-animated 3-minute short film, which I will definitely share more on in the near future hopefully. I was the last to join the crew towards the end of my junior year, but moving past the stress of finding a project to work on, I was grateful to have found all these new people specifically. They made it so that I really looked forward to show up to class, and even the people who signed up as extra help were also very fun to work with. Honestly, there was never a dull moment with them and I’m proud of what we had achieved in the school year. Of course, I met so many people outside of capstone as well. I still was a little shy still, I feel, since my ability to be more social would reset(?) from time to time, but if I even had a short conversation with you, or simply witnessed your presence, especially since I was surrounded by so many unique personalities on the daily, I am very grateful with the impact you have had on my time here, no matter how big or small.

In the end, I definitely grew more independent. From living alone, with the exception of a roommate and a kind neighbor who helped me every now and then, to familiarizing myself since Georgia was pretty new and different to me altogether. Savannah can also be a little scary sometimes compared to the familiarity of my own home, but I had taught myself to navigate with the help of the school’s not-so-perfect bus system and walks through the small city I en eventually became comfortable with. I didn’t have the luxury of a car or a bike that may have made travels a little smoother in retrospect, but I also grew to like taking in my surroundings whenever I could, since Savannah was fairly pretty. I had grown to like my new “normal”, so it feels a little weird that it’s all over? I don’t exactly remember how I had come to find SCAD, but I’m happy I made the choice to come here as I think it helped me grow closer to an even better version of myself. I definitely still have more room for growth, but I’m proud of what I had done in the past four years and the fact that I had come to allow myself to open up to new people and experiences, which did help me in my journey as a whole. I don’t have any specific plans or know what’s to come, but whatever it may be, I hope to make the most of it. There is so much I want to do, but for now I will be taking my time to rest and recover from the pretty big workload from all my classes over the years, while also continuing to express myself through my art and trying to build my social presence a little more!

*TLDR; I graduated college and while I’m surprised to have made it to another pretty big milestone in my life, I wanted to share some of my thoughts. I’m not sure if anyone is actually reading this, but another thing I had learned was sharing to some extent made me feel better rather than the past me who would usually keep everything bottled up to myself. I also am the kind of person who thinks a lot and doesn’t usually get the opportunity to share or put my thoughts together as I feel I kind of just go through whatever happens. I did journal for some time, but school work took my priority, so maybe I can get back into it soon. But if you did read this, I appreciate you <3 Whether you’re an incoming college student, or someone I’m already acquainted with/have seen my work before, I’m happy you saw my page in some facet. I’ve always loved art and hope to share more of my own personal work moving forward, as I love to draw inspiration from my own life and interests, in addition to trying to get involved in other projects whether related to animation or not. Thank you for coming to my not-T3D Talk! + Congrats to anyone else who has also graduated recently or reached a pretty big achievement in their lives :D

[planeyboys]

Winter Hill part one, listen and download on Bandcamp: https://pilkos-musical-wonderland.bandcamp.com/

My first full length LP with many alternating themes to make your genre definition centres explode; more of a musical adventure than you are used to!!

This project started as an idea back in 2012, before I had even learned to play a musical instrument. Recording the demos was done in tandem with learning how to play, and some of the final melodies, as simple as they are, reflect that.

(Pictured: the nylon string and ukulele from which the original melodies were crudely recorded onto my PC through a really bad lapel mic)

The structure of the album came about after my first journey to the real place Winter Hill with a friend in 2015 as we adventured up through Bolton, past all the old industry, and up to the moor. It was a cold October evening and the ideas started flowing.

(Pictured: original cover art before we set everything on fire)

The nurturing musical environment of the music department in my college really helped to finalise the demos and finish off the sketch of what would become the first and second parts, although compositionally and technically compromised, the overall idea felt solid.

(Pictured: hard at work (citation needed))

Recording what would be the final version took two attempts, the first of which was lost to computer issues, hard drive faults and the like. I lost interest for a couple years because of this.

Winters getting darker and more depressing really spurred on the recording of this final version, recorded between October 2021 and May 2023. Between lockdowns and loss in the family I felt I needed a good escape from it all in this project.

(Pictured: tiny aeroplane man who took over as the mascot of the project, to feature in the video going on a journey around Winter Hill)

It reminded me of the good days I had in music tech class in college and brought me back into that hyper focused music composition mindset I felt I had been missing.

(Pictured: A version of the cover art mirroring on one of my very first school art projects from when I was 5 about the fire of London)

And now part one is finished at last, and I can look forward to recording part two knowing that I have remained faithful and have compromised minimally from the original demos, keeping most of those original ideas alive after over 10 years of sitting on them like a mother hen.

(Pictured: the lights twinkling in the distance; a familiar sight to all in the North West)

I look forward to hearing what you think of it! I might not reply to every post but I do enjoy reading them! It would mean a lot to me.

(Pictured: bbq with the fellas at Winter Hill Aerodrome, "just a couple more!!" said the grill master)

Part two coming soon

[bapouro]

If you have the time and if it’d be fun at all, can you talk about how going to school for art is/was? Like what was bad about it but what did it make you realize about why you create? What was originally incomprehensible that became digestible after being surrounded by it? I’m just curious because I really only got into art after college age.

Hi

ive finally handed in my final project ever last friday and after somewhat recovering i can now answer u. (ill put an aside here that before i started uni, i saw a lot of the online umming and awing about art school and it being a scam etc that made me nervous going into it. i dont really think it has been for me but keep in mind im doing this in the uk. i think if i was in the usa or somewhere where it was that expensive i think youd get just about as many benefits going to somewhere like a community college instead. its worth a bit of money but not a lot of money.)

i realised while turning over your questions in my head last week how much doing my degree (illustration undergrad) during covid lockdown, illustrated (haha) the point art school had for me. and the point being that after trying to stick it out for the first few terms during lockdown, i deferred, i didnt really see the point i had already spent my entire life making art in my bedroom online for free, without somebody telling me what to do. practically what that degree offered me was physical facilities and resources, but really what i wanted it for was that vague miasma of drive and something bigger than myself to physically 'prove' myself to. i was and still am very interested in that gap between the online environment i learnt art within that felt a world away from my 'real life', and coming to meet with that 'real life' was kind of my goal. i needed both to meet on a very basic level for my quality of life. and id say i succeeded. twice now somebody i was originally mutuals with online turned out to be in my class. i live with one of them now. and i feel some pride now looking back on how much i felt like i had to separate my 'school' art and my 'personal' art during secondary school and now theyre practically one and the same. in fact one piece of advice ive kept with me from the uni tutors here is they consistently wish the students wouldnt 'hold back' so much on the kind of work they make: one of my friends, the one i now live with, was doing a tasteful furry pinup statue for a project and one of the tutors essentially asked them why the statue was being so sexually subtle with it, for example.

so what was bad about it! man... thinking about it the same reason i gave for why i came back after lockdown could also point out how flippant the reasoning was. its still a lot of time and effort let alone money to be putting into something that you dont Need an institution for. and art and academia, as much as you might try, arent going to be as neatly married as maybe STEM and academia. not that there isnt a place for it. we need it in there. but basically your work still has to get 'graded' on things so they can prove themselves as an institution so they can still get money to run. i ''apreciated'' the deadline part, for what it was, because i was(/am) a serial put-er off-er and i knew i needed something big to try and train me out of it. but the actual mark scheme and trying to work off of it is never not going to be nebulous. what the hell does it mean to 'demonstrate my awareness of the changing landscape of contemporary illustration' graded between 0 - 100 via a 3d animation. ive done pretty well. sometimes id get top marks. a couple times i wouldnt even pass and id have to do it again. the only pattern i could really see between what got those marks for me and what didnt was effort? so take with that what you will.

yea that being said, what it helped me realise why i create... i am thankful my particular course at my particular uni is so into their experimentation / medium diversity. because it proved to me again that experimenting is something i love to do. i could keep doing it forever maybe. but that also made me realise after trying to do that project after project that its only one part of the enjoyment. i couldnt sink my teeth in as much as i wanted. part of why im glad to leave is im glad to try and focus on just a few things now. take a project at my pace... reeeally get way too into it. hopefully.

what was originally incomprehensible that became digestible after being surrounded by it? mm.. i think getting to see a lot of the behind the scenes and the people actually doing illustration as a job kind of softened my glare on some art styles / ways of working i dislike. not that i Like them now but that kind of flat illustrator thing.. for some people it really is more of a job than anything else. i think thats fine. theres all kinds of other art to enjoy outside of their 9-5. i just hope they like it too. but of course it does set a precedent for what clients expect/what you feel like you should be making..? oh also i did actually end up really enjoying the couple of art essays we needed to write. reading cultural/art/etc pdf essays was something i already liked to do like reading baudrillard and ellen dissanayake and things but it was great to actually get to apply it in writing. and i think it certainly became more digestible to realise that these kinds of writers and this kind of writing wasnt some hard to penerate academia i couldnt be a part of really but turned out to be writing about things that already applied to life, whether i went to uni or not. really the whole experience... for me i felt like it was just something i needed to do. if anything just to get away from my family and make my own life. im glad i did it. but really art is art no matter where you find it. uni gave me a push to go further, i could sit around and say i couldve done it without uni but i think we overestimate ourselves. i think i couldve but i bet it wouldve taken longer and i may have experimented less, challenged myself less. who knows. just dont ever let something like that put you off art, it will always find you again eventually. im glad you got into it too.

[risingshards]

I've been hovering around a subscriber number and it's been going up and down a bit and cuz it went down a chunk today I'm a lil anxious, I worry about everything constantly so this probably isn't a big deal, but instead of dwelling on it I'm gonna try and self promote and maybe overcome this subscriber hurdle! So Self Promo Saturday in addition to Storyteller Saturday? Is that a thing already?

Anyways, if you've followed me for a while you've probably seen me talk about my main series, Rising Shards!

Rising Shards is my passion project, a super long web novel that updates Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays. It's always tough for me to explain it, but in short it's part fantasy series, part slice of life, part comedy, part adventure, part romance. It's got a huge cast of characters that a vast majority of are queer!

What's life like in a world where monster folks called Cani are as normal as rainy days? What's it like to juggle learning how to use your powers on fantasy adventures with taking tests and giving speeches in class? How about balancing having crushes and getting over breakups with growing tails or having full on werewolf moments? That's what Zeta Faleur, a trans girl getting over a bad breakup, has to do when her fangs come in and she has to go to a Cani school.

Other main characters have to deal with similar issues as well. Zeta's best friend Oka, a kindhearted girl with a troubled upbringing struggles to fit in at school, gets her first crush around the same time she gets her first role in a school play. Kalei, a snarky gamer jock, begins to find her own identity and all the angst and joy that comes with it. Lillia, a by the books honor student, goes through as many crushes as she gets good grades, but what happens when someone finally likes her back? Longtime friends Aira and Laenie face off with the prospect of drifting apart, while similarly close besties Iris and Maia deal with getting closer. Marmalade, a trans girl who is a late transfer to Rising Shards, strains with self doubt and acceptance. Roux goes on a gender focused journey and finds confidence in themselves. Zeta's older sister Stella starts crushing on Zeta's teacher, Dr. Evy Diast, but are there sparks between them? (given that these two also have an 18+ side series which can be read here, the answer is probably yes).

And that's just a chunk of the characters, yes there are somehow more, including wizards, pop stars, goofy principals, princesses, wannabe hall monitors, filming experts, coffee lovers, gambling obsessed gremlins, mean girls, exes, and enemies! I love stories with a huge cast of characters and actually spent time in college getting my writing degree writing essays about series that juggle tons and tons of characters. For the others, you'll have to read the series to meet them! :)

If the length of the series is intimidating (understandable!), I like to think of it like a TV show or a long manga or light novel series. It may be a ton of chapters and words and such, but they're split up into episodes and seasons, so each chunk of episodes is a complete little arc like a TV episode, and each season completes a big story. With such a huge cast and the way I pace the story, I try to use the space I have to the fullest to spend lots and lots of time with the characters.

If you wanna check the series out, it'd mean the world to me. And big bonus if you subscribe as well. :) If Tapas isn't your jam, Rising Shards is also available on Scribble Hub!

Art for Rising Shards is done by the wonderful Flopicas!

[otrtbs]

Hiii ! I had already asked that question, but I will ask it again because you didn't respond to it last time but at the same time it's harmless (I think), and if you don't respond again then I guess it isn't harmless 😭

I was wondering how you got into art ? Have you ever made art yourself like painting, drawing, and sculpture and decided to study that, or do you really just love art history and never had touched a pen to draw in your life? And how did your family react ?

And another question was were you in school, or work when you were writing AHB (I mean in general when you are writing actually) and if so, how did you find time to write and read? Because as a writer I feel like an important part is to read but when I do write I don't read, and I know that a big part of that is just school and I don't have time, but maybe you got a magic trick or smth?

hi! yeah it is harmless i am just SEVERELY behind on answering asks these days but i am not intentionally ignoring you/anyone. i am just behind on asks, sorry! also i get rambly under the cut so this is a warning!

as far as how i got into art, i used to volunteer at my local art museum when i was in high school!! and during that time i got to talk to a bunch of curators and educators and i was like,,,,, 'yeah. i wanna do this'

i am NOT artistic at all,,, i can't draw or paint to save my life el oh el. i had to take a fine arts course as an undergrad in uni which was fairly rudimentary ,,, just exploring different art mediums,,, color theory,, etc. and i was SO BAD at it,, so. bad. we had to bring in our art projects for critique and i still have nightmares about that...oof.

as far as my family support,,,, also el oh el. uhm,, no one was very thrilled with my life decisions to say the least...but i do not care! it's my life to live! then when my sister went to uni and said she wanted to be a biomedical engineer major n maybe go to med school,, well they put all their attention on her so we move!

also yes!! i was in school while i was writing ahb! i was in my final year of undergrad, i worked full time as a resident assistant at my university and i worked part time at a call center (<- WORST JOB OF MY FUCKING LIFE) and sometimes i would pick up extra shifts at my university's campus store because i was paying my own way through undergrad and so honestly.... the truth is i hardly slept. which is not healthy and i do not recommend that you do that at all. by any means. thankfully, because it was my final year i had some easy "blow off" classes in addition to upper division art history courses so the workload was lighter than previous semesters.

but my RA job would put me "on call" which meant i was the one an entire building of 500+ college girls would call if there was emergency of any kind (could be something serious like a fire or a strange man in the girls dorms or someone needing serious medical attention to something miniscule someone's fire alarm running out of batteries). and we would be on call for 24 hours on the weekends or 5pm to 8 am on weekdays. and if you missed a call because you were asleep you would be fired immediately no questions asked. and bc i got my housing and a lot of my income from that job,,,, i would get so paranoid and stressed abt missing a phone call that i wouldn't sleep at all when i was on call. so i did a lot of my writing for ahb! during those times at like 5am while i was on call. i was also required to work 10-15 hours a week at the front at my university through my RA position and it was a 24 hour desk and i got the night shift where literally nobody would come in. i'd work 10pm-2am on tuesdays and thursdays and then a few hours on saturday (But those were normally busy). and i would write my fanfic then!!! (should've been doing school work ,,, but alas) <- so for the "sHE CoULd'vE aT lEasT EdiTed iT" crowd who have beef with ahb!,,, i was too busy trying to graduate uni and working 3 jobs to do anything but post. so eat dirt.

additionally, i didn't read fanfic when i was writing ahb! for the most part. i was reading a ton before i started writing and then i think i was only able to keep up with the choices updates and picked up heavy fanfic reading again once ahb! was finished.

so no magic tricks from me unfortunately :(( i think it was only feasible bc i was operating on like zero sleep and my course load was light the final semester, and i got lucky with my job hours !! otherwise,, i didn't really do anything else. like i stopped reading, stopped watching shows,, etc,, if i had free time i would be on the google doc hahaha

[sailorspica]

reijean hitchannie college band AU headcanons that may not lead to fic form but i feel strongly about because i did undergrad at a huge university with a prestigious music school where everyone was depressed + i've been giffing kids on the slope (2012) w reiner's seiyuu + the given akihiko/haruki reijean agenda:

all the warriors grew up playing classical music w/ varying degrees of parental pressure, for example mr leonhart is a violinist and annie's first and forever teacher so maybe she maims him here too (he's like jk simmons in whiplash); karina is into classical music as a status symbol

by contrast hitch and jean know how to have fun. hitch learned everything from youtube, jean's mom let him quit piano lessons as a kid so he came back to it on his own when he realized it was cool/thought it could get him girls (it doesn't) (inspo: nick cave)

annie (lead/rhythm guitar), hitch (vocals/rhythm guitar/octave pedal "bass"), jean (vocals/keys/bass), reiner (drums). reiner would do bass if he had sukuna arms

reijean meet in intro to audio engineering which counts as a science class for some reason, form the band after roping annie into their final recording project; annie's an undeclared part-time student who mostly works

first they try marco as rhythm guitarist but he is too jazzy and cannot wrap his mind around rock tone, annie is furious (low stakes version of trost; sounds derogatory but marco just looks like a jazz guy)

hitch is a business major who thinks music is a hobby, kinda yasu from nana energy. annie recruits her after overhearing her teaching/berating marlowe before he absolutely bombs an open mic night

hitch is an acoustic girlie (dark ukulele past) but annie and jean take her shopping and she picks a danelectro stock '59

annie plays a jaguar bc of her short fingers, she's some combo of lindsey jordan / luna li but also j mascis

reiner's favorite drummer is karen carpenter, deadass

hitch is the least disciplined which equal turns teaches them to relax but incites rage, annie and jean lock her in a room w reiner bc this bitch cannot count

everyone sings but especially hitch and jean, the vibe is michelle zauner and craig hendrix; i think they hype up the other two who are very self conscious

main songwriters are annie and jean, jean finds jazzy chords that hitch hates

annie was concertmaster of her arts magnet high school orchestra until mikasa showed up and the worst part is violin is mikasa's like, tertiary instrument; now they are ex-gf roommates

opera singer mikasa ruins lives, she is kissing kissing mezzo historia in boy drag (inverse girl armin) in uhhh idk la clemenza di tito

ymir is probably a drummer in a nu riot grrrl band, root of her frenemyship with reiner, also i think she's trying to steal annie and/or hitch

reiner is a cello performance major who became interested in rock percussion after hooking up w eren; eren's taste is incredibly lame, he likes like, dave grohl

eren and mikasa both did piano lessons as kids and she forces him to be her accompanist most of the time, but he and jean tag in and out ever since eren gave himself gamer's carpal tunnel before mikasa's first jury freshman year

jean is Not a music major but he makes money as music majors' accompanist; he could be studio art? or something "reasonable" (a la the MPs, business school hitch), like cybersecurity

annie and marcel = violin, pieck and bertie = viola, reiner and porco = cello

bertolt is living studio ghibli whisper of the heart in italy

for the first half of undergrad reiner lived with marcel in place of porco bc that little shit felt smothered by the galliards bUyINg a whole apartment for their boys, but when marcel graduated pocco moved in and uhhhhh evicted reiner, who thought he had saved enough to make it on his own by living rent free but uhhhhh karina stole it

uhhh pieck looks like my first gay crush (a violist opera singer) so let's say she's studying abroad

point is, reiner is isolated through no one's direct fault, really, besides pock; annie is his closest friend in town and she's such a tsundere about it. he lived on her and mikasa's couch for a week but will never return because it was too awkward even for his broke ass

[hannahssimblr]

Chapter Two (Part 2)

We sit in the beer garden of a lively pub near Smithfield square, and the sky is blue and perfect and birds are chirping high in the trees whose branches overhang the muraled walls. Izzy wants to get drinks for everyone, and when she asks me what I want I shrug. “Oh, I don’t really feel like drinking.” I say, not adding in the part about how I’ve been avoiding drinking alcohol at all in front of people I don’t know very well lately. 

“That’s fine.” She says immediately. “I’ll fetch you a club orange or something?”

“Yeah, that’d be nice.” She goes away then and I’m a bit startled. I was expecting her to force me to have something alcoholic, but she didn’t. She didn’t even ask me why I’m abstaining, and I didn’t have to make up some excuse about antibiotics. Nobody else seems to care about it either, and when she brings our drinks to the table on a little round tray, nobody makes any designated driver jokes, they just take their ciders and their beers and have them without even batting an eye at my fizzy drink. 

“So do you like NCAD?” Simon asks me, drawing me out of my own head. I nod. “Yeah, it’s alright. I preferred it in second year where we got to specialise into something more specific. The general nature of first year didn’t do it for me so much.”

“I was the same when I was there, you get lumped in with all the weirdos too.” He laughs, and so does Izzy, and I realise that NCAD being full of oddballs probably is a universal experience, rather than something specific to my year. 

“Was there someone in your year who made their final project using their own period blood?” Izzy wants to know, and I’m taken aback by her question. I wonder where she heard about Marnie’s menstrual cup sculpture.

“Yeah, there was.” 

“Yeah there’s at least one of them every year. They always love doing that.”

“In my year some lad made a film of him wanking himself off and put the stills from it on the walls.” Simon comments. 

“Oh my God.” Says Gabriel with disgust. “What is wrong with this college?”

“It’s just all these fine arts people in one big room together, it’s bound to get weird.” Izzy says. “When I specialised in print it was way more civilised.”

“My girlfriend did ceramics though.” Says Simon. “And there was a girl in hear class who made a cast of-”

“Enough!” Cries Gabriel. “I can’t hear about these depraved people. It was not like this for me, I hate it.”

Petra arrives then and gets herself a pint of cider, she’s carrying a little Mezzotint bag, and Gabriel wants to know what’s in it. 

“One of those ceramic bud vases that came in this morning.” She says. “Evie and I were admiring them.”

“Yeah Simon’s girlfriend did them.” Says Izzy. “A very nepotistic addition to the Mezzotint shop, in my opinion.” Then she punches his arm. “I’m joking, she’s brill.”

We go back to chatting, and I try not to think about how cool and intimidating every one of them is. I felt the same way on my first day in the studio two weeks ago, and it hasn’t faded much as I’ve gotten to know them. Izzy is talking about a gig that’s coming up in a couple of weeks that she’s rehearsing for. She sings with a band sometimes called Earthworm and makes us all promise to come and watch them play. I realise that in the two years I’ve lived in Dublin I’ve never gone to a gig. It feels like a very strange thing, considering how many opportunities there were, but Marnie or Dean were never interested in music, and so I wasn’t either. 

She’s talking about the songs they’re thinking about doing when Simon is distracted by the arrival of his girlfriend. “Oh, here she is.” He says with a grin, and we all look around to see a petite, dark haired girl come into the beer garden with a big pint of blackcurrant in her hand. I do a double take. That’s Michelle Tengu. That’s Jude’s ex. She comes over and settles into the seat next to Simon and he hooks his arm around her neck and pulls her into him to kiss her hair. 

“Hi guys.” She says in droll, northside cadence. “How are ye getting on?” I wait anxiously for her to notice me. Or not notice me, as there is every chance I left so little of an impression on her both times that we met, but she frowns at me with recognition. “Oh, hi.”

“That’s Evie, our intern.” Simon tells her.

“No, I actually know you.” She says. “You’re Jen’s friend, right? We met you a good while ago in a cocktail bar.”

“You did, yeah.” I say, and then hesitate. “How is Jen?”

“Yeah she’s… well, you know, the usual.”

“Oh right.” I don’t ask what she’s up to, because once I start talking about her, I’ll have to think about her, and thinking about Jen will always lead to thinking about Jude, and thinking too much about either her or Jude makes me feel completely sick with guilt. I haven’t spoken to either of them in over a year, and even though once, last year, I saw Jen in the deli queue in Supervalu, but I didn’t go over to say hello to her. I just paced through the aisles of the supermarket pretending to be looking for something until I saw her checking out and leaving. 

“Aw, Jen is the best.” Says Izzy. “We love her, what a sweetheart! I can’t believe you know her. This really is a small town.”

“Yeah it is…” I say, frowning into my Club Orange. For some reason I feel uneasy. Like it’s all about to start getting even smaller. 

Beginning // Prev // Next

[evesaintyves]

so a long time ago i took this community college art class just to kill some time. we had to do a final project, any medium, any subject, just produce a work and present it in front of the class. i was working with rich people in newport beach at the time so i sculpted this clay medusa mask based on some of my clients - like think medusa with a lot of facial fillers. this isn't important - the important bit is that when i presented it in class the professor looked it over, gave me some feedback, and then looked me in the eye and said, "you should make about maybe 200 of these." meaning, if i wanted to learn how to do this and refine it into something good, i was going to need to just do a lot of making the same thing over and over.

i think about that advice a lot lately when i'm writing or thinking about writing. i get really uptight all the time about retreading things that i or other people have done before, writing the same stories about the same characters over and over, writing things that don't really break much new ground - like it is a real anxiety i have and it has shut down my creative process before, and made me really worried that my work, and my desire to work, is more of an unhealthy compulsion than something i should put effort into and be proud of. i think i'm probably not the only writer who feels that way. but it really is helpful, for me at least, to think of it like needing to make 200 of the same sculpture before you really know what you're doing: that it's not just okay but necessary to repeat yourself. it's part of learning how to do what you do.

so i'm just passing that on in case it helps anybody else.

[edith-hyde]

Norman Osborn X Female Reader

I Forgot My Umbrella - Part 40

Word Count: 2709

Summary: Tonight is the night of the OSCORP Gala. As you prepare everything, Norman has lunch with Harry and the two finally manage to accept one another.

Warnings: Age gap. PG/PG-13.

A/N: I am SO SORRY. I've had this written for a long time now, I've just been so busy with stuff. Some of it is my health, but I've also been trying a bunch of different creative projects that have been occupying my time. I can't say I will be back to regular scheduling, but I'll try to do better.

Tagging: @druigswh0ree @digital-demise @maskmare931 @b1ueoff1ine @imwithyoutiltheendofthelinebucky @wtfhasmy-lifecometo @ghnaim24

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——

You were excited to be leaving the hospital. Today was the day after all. 

The OSCORP Gala. 

Norman came to pick you up and the ride to work was spent talking about today’s schedule. Norman was supposed to oversee some new projects, have lunch with Harry, and then leave work early to make sure he is present for when the gala starts. Your schedule on the other hand involved double checking all the decorations, having lunch with Rosie, picking up your outfits, and then meeting Norman at the gala venue. 

As Norman pulled up to the large center you had rented, he grabbed your hand and kissed it. 

“I’ll see you tonight,” he promised, “Save a dance for me.”

“I wish I could.”

Norman bowed his head. Reaching out, you placed a hand on his knee. When he looked at you, you felt your heart race. His eyes were extra beautiful today, but also extra sad.

“What if… What if we didn’t hide tonight?” you asked softly, “What if we just went together?”

“Y/N…. As much as I want to-”

“We can’t…”

Norman took your hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. 

“Soon though… I’ll tell Harry and we can tell your parents. I promise.”

“Would it be easier if I didn’t work for you?”

Norman grimaced. 

“Perhaps… But that would mean we couldn’t see each other through the day and I don’t know if I could bear that. Being apart from you is a fate worse than death.”

“You’re such a clingy drama queen,” you laughed. 

Norman went to defend himself but you silenced him with a quick kiss. 

“And that’s why I love you,” you whispered. 

Norman gave a wistful smile, his ocean eyes searching your face. You raised an eyebrow at him as you wondered what he was thinking. Without having to ask, he told you. 

“You’re beautiful, you know that? An absolute goddess.”

You rolled your eyes and went to get out of the car. 

“Goodbye, Norman.”

He laughed, giving you a small wave just before driving away. You watched him go, chuckling to yourself. 

Today was going to be a long day but it would be worth it. 

At least… you hoped it would be.

——

Lunch time came and Norman met Harry at a small cafe near the gala venue. While most of their conversation was small talk, Norman finally worked up the courage to venture into deeper conversations. 

“Harry… are you happy with your college classes?”

Harry arched an eyebrow. 

“What do you mean?”

Norman absently fiddled with his silverware, eyes on his empty plate. 

“I want to know if you’re taking the classes you want to. I know in times past I… encouraged you to take classes you didn’t want to. And I want to make sure that from here on out you’re taking the classes you want. Not the ones you think I want.”

Norman made eye contact with Harry. His son’s expression was one of pure bewilderment. His mouth opened and closed as he tried to think of what to say. 

“You… you mean that?”

“I do.”

Harry looked down at the table, eyes wide. 

“So… if I wanted to switch classes, I could?”

“Harry, you’re a grown man. Everything you do should be your own choice. Are there classes you’d like to take instead of science or business?”

Harry was speechless. A smile slowly took over his face as his hand ran through his hair. Settling back into his seat he gave a disbelieving laugh. 

“I just… yeah, I’d like to get an art degree. I’m not doing real good with the science classes so if I could switch ‘em out…”

Norman took a deep breath and nodded. 

“That’s your choice,” Norman said as kindly as he could muster. 

In the back of his mind, Norman was at war with himself. Every fiber of his being was telling him that this was a bad idea. Letting Harry pick his own future? What a foolish thought. He needed direction. He might not like it now, but it was for his own good. Why waste time trying to be happy when you could be successful? But Norman thought of you and instantly felt like the foolish one. If he had only thought of success, he never would’ve found you. And you were his whole world now. Surely he could give Harry the chance to find his own version of you?

“This is nuts… thanks Dad! I mean… I thought you’d lose it! You’re seriously okay with me dropping my science classes?”

Norman locked his gaze with Harry’s. 

“Just so long as you continue to work hard and stay focused. I don’t want you abandoning it if things get too hard for you.”

“I won’t. Seriously I won’t!”

Harry was all smiles and Norman felt like he was finally fully accepted by his son. He didn’t deserve it, of course, but he was overjoyed all the same. Harry was now happily talking about some of the art classes available and Norman listened intently. He let Harry pick and choose which classes he wanted to take and by the end of the conversation, Harry had reworked his entire school schedule. He had plans to get things changed on Monday. 

“So, are you coming to the Gala tonight?” Norman asked. 

“Yeah. Got a costume picked out and everything. I’ll be there.”

“Do you… Do you have a date?” Norman asked with some hesitance. 

Harry shrugged. 

“Sorta.”

Norman grinned. 

“Is it serious? Are you moving on from MJ?”

“Dad…” Harry groaned. 

“I’m just asking. I want you to be happy with someone.”

Harry leaned back in his chair, unable to make eye contact as he sunk into his thoughts. 

“It’s not serious… yet. I don’t really know how I feel about her, ya know? I’m still getting to know her.”

“What’s she like?” Norman asked casually. 

Harry shrugged. He seemed surprised to be having this conversation with his father of all people. But he answered anyway. 

“She’s nice. Supportive. Opinionated. Dedicated. Very mature compared to a lot of other girls I know.”

“All good things,” Norman praised, “Is she pretty?”

Harry leaned forward on the table. Finally making eye contact, he smiled. 

“She’s gorgeous, dad. When she smiles it lights up her whole face.”

“Sounds like a keeper,” Norman laughed. 

“I just don’t know if she’s that into me,” Harry sighed, “Whenever I try flirting with her, she doesn’t really seem to get the hint.”

“Some girls don’t play that kind of game, Harry. You said she’s mature. She likely responds to something a bit more direct.”

Harry took a moment to think. 

“Direct, huh? You really think I should just go for it?”

“You’ll never know until you try,” Norman replied. 

“Yeah… you’re right… So what about you? You got a date for this thing?”

Now it was Norman’s turn to lean back in his chair and refuse eye contact. He couldn’t bring himself to lie to his son. But he also didn’t want to tell him the truth. 

“Holy crap, you do, don’t you?!”

Harry was clearly intrigued by the idea and Norman relented. 

“I… I do…”

Harry’s eyebrows went up. 

“Is it that woman who helped you turn over a new leaf?”

“Yes…”

Harry nodded. 

“Makes sense. Ever since you met this lady, you’ve seemed happier. I can’t wait to meet her.”

“Harry…”

“I’m not gonna rush ya, but I really wanna meet this girl that has had such an effect on you. Are you guys… like, is it official?”

Norman took a deep breath. He had already gone this far. He might as well go the whole way. This could be the stepping stone he needed to break the news to Harry. But it still terrified him.

“Yes. But we’re keeping our relationship out of the press for now, so we can have our privacy. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner…”

Norman felt like crawling into a hole and hiding for the rest of his mortal days. This conversation was a huge weight off his shoulders, but it also made his stomach twist. Admitting to his son that he was in a relationship at all was a big step. But Norman had no idea how he was going to tell Harry that his girlfriend was you. 

“You’re really not upset?” Norman questioned as he eyed his son. 

“No. I told you. Just so long as she’s not younger than me, I’m happy for you.”

Norman ran a hand over his face. You fit that criteria but just by a few years. Thank God for loopholes. 

“She’s not younger than you, I promise.”

Harry stood and clapped his dad on the shoulder.

“Then we’re good,” Harry affirmed, “Now, I’ve gotta go. I’ll see ya tonight. Okay?”

“Right….”

Harry left with a wide grin and Norman let out a groan. 

He suddenly felt like tonight would end in disaster. 

——

While Norman ate with Harry, you were with Rosie at a small Italian place. The two of you talked and bonded over just about anything and everything. You loved talking with her about where she got her outfits, how she met Otto, and what her favorite poems were. In turn, Rosie seemed very interested in your art, your college tales, and the future you saw for yourself. 

“So what costume did you choose for the Gala?” Rosie asked as she slid her empty plate away. 

“The perfect one,” you said with a mischievous grin. 

“Oh?” She laughed, “Do tell.”

You scooched your chair closer to the table, eager to tell Rosie your scheme. She knew about you and Norman. And unlike Tracy, she was actually fully supportive. So you had no fears or qualms about telling her things. 

“Okay so there’s this movie called Labyrinth made by Jim Henson. Have you ever seen it?”

“No, I can’t say I have.”

You smiled. You expected that answer. Hardly anyone you knew had seen the film. 

“Well it’s this beautifully weird fantasy movie that features David Bowie as a Goblin King who kidnaps the main girl’s baby brother and holds him hostage at the center of his great Labyrinth. And there’s this ballroom dance sequence where the Goblin King and the main girl dance while wearing these awesome costumes. And the song that plays, As The World Falls Down, is one of my all time favorites.”

You reached into your bag and pulled out your sketchbook. While in the hospital you had spent any down time sketching the movie scenes from memory just because you could. You showed Rosie the drawings and she marveled at them as you continued to talk. 

“I’m in charge of getting a costume for Norman. So I thought it would be hilarious to match our costumes to the ones in the movie. Hardly anyone has seen it, so no one will know we match. Plus, I really wanna see Norman in this outfit. I'm picking them up today when we leave here.”

Rosie laughed, shaking her head. 

“This is adorable. I can’t wait to see you in this dress!”

“Yeah… I’m actually a little worried about that. I’ve never worn anything like it. I don’t think I’ll look very good in it…”

“Nonsense!” Rosie cried, “You will look lovely. Will you need help with your hair?”

“Oh… I wasn’t really gonna mess with it…”

Rosie gave you a skeptical look just before reaching across the table and grabbing your hand. 

“I’ll help you.”

You grinned. 

“Thanks, Rosie. What are you and Otto going as?”

Rosie giggled to herself. Taking her hand back, she smirked. 

“I picked out costumes inspired by a Midsummer's Night Dream. We’re going as the fairies Lord Oberon and Titania. Otto isn’t too thrilled, but he looks so cute in his outfit.”

“I bet he does!” You chuckled, “I can’t wait to see it. I bet you both will be adorable.”

Rosie nodded as she checked her watch. 

“Ah we better get your costume and get back to the venue so I can have time to help you.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

——

You and Rosie arrived at the gala before anyone else. She helped you into the puffy white dress which turned out to be harder than you expected- the zipper kept getting stuck. After letting Rosie do your hair and you put on the matching jewelry, you looked at yourself in the mirror. 

“I look ridiculous,” you groaned. 

“No you do not,” Rosie chastised, “You look amazing. Norman’s jaw will hit the floor when he sees you.”

“I’m not even sure I can fit out the door in this thing.”

Rosie laughed as she took your hand and guided you out into the main area. 

“Do a twirl for me. Go on.”

You did as you were told. Rosie clapped her hands with a beaming smile. You were just happy you didn’t trip in these heels. 

“Pretty as a picture,” the older woman praised. 

“If you say so.”

Rosie lightly grabbed your shoulders. 

“I DO say so. You look lovely in this dress. You’ll have to beat the boys off with a stick tonight.”

“I’m not looking forward to that,” You laughed, “There’s only one boy I want to notice me tonight.”

Rosie took your hands and gave you a confident smile. 

“Trust me, honey- He’ll notice.”

After a brief look at her watch, Rosie gestured towards the door. 

“I have to get my own costume and pick up Otto. Will you be alright here alone?”

“I’ll be fine,” you said with a wave, “The catering staff will be here soon.”

“Alright. I’ll see you tonight!”

Rosie left and you busied yourself by double checking everything and doing the finishing touches on the masks you needed for the event. As the staff arrived, you oversaw their work as they set the food up. You were so engrossed in directing everyone, you hadn’t noticed Norman enter the venue. 

“Y/N?”

You glanced up to see Norman standing at the front doors. His blue eyes were wide as he stood there- utterly speechless. Your anxieties played on your mind. The dress looked terrible. 

You looked terrible. 

But all of your fears were destroyed in one fell swoop as Norman crossed the floor. He took your hand and led you around the corner so the two of you were alone. Without a word he cupped your face in his hands and kissed you. You closed your eyes, finally feeling comfortable in the dress. When Norman pulled back, he wore a beaming smile. 

“You’re gorgeous.”

“Thanks,” you whispered, “I was afraid I’d look stupid.”

“You don’t,” Norman declared, “You look….”

He looked you over, letting his hands trace along your shoulders and down your arms. The sensation of his touch made your skin burn and you felt the red spread across your face. His eyes lingered upon you as he spoke.

“I won’t be able to take my eyes off you for a moment…”

“You’re gonna have to try,” you laughed, “You have to keep all those investors entertained tonight.”

Norman met your gaze.

“The moment I can get away from them, I will be at your side. Now where is my costume?”

“It’s ready to go in one of the side rooms.”

Norman nodded. 

“And the masks?”

“Oh I made them.”

You took Norman to one of the spare event rooms and showed him the masks. Norman’s was somewhat based on the mask The Goblin King is seen wearing at the beginning of the dance. It had horns and a pronounced brow ridge. Meanwhile, yours was made to match your dress with beautiful white feathers; Sarah did not wear a mask in the scene. 

“You did a wonderful job,” Norman praised, “When did you have the time?”

“Well, Tracy helped me out with them, but as soon as I knew what outfit I wanted to do, I started working on them. Many late nights. Finished ‘em up today.” 

“You’ve outdone yourself,” Norman pressed a kiss to your temple, “I’ll go get ready.”

You watched him leave and you felt giddy inside. You wanted tonight to go smoothly. And while you had high hopes for everything, you couldn’t help the lingering feeling of dread. 

Something might go terribly wrong.

[livingmybestfictionallife]

The Geek and the Freak

To say Eddie Munson was unmotivated was a bit of an understatement. All of his teachers for the past five years of high school continually reported back to Wayne that, "Eddie is an incredibly gifted student, however he doesn't seem to apply himself in class." He would absorb those words and regurgitate them at Eddie the second he had the opportunity to, and after a while, Wayne began to see an improvement in Eddie's educational performance. Of course he didn't go from being a straight D student to a getting straight A's, but he was able to bump up his scores in History, English, and art to B's with the occasional A. However, not matter how much complaining from his teachers or pushing from his uncle, Eddie couldn't get his math scores to jump above a D.

Maybe it was something about the numbers, or maybe it was the lack of a creative outlet in the projects. He wasn't exactly sure, but the more he tried, the more he struggled, and the more he struggled, the more he was nagged to do better, which only perpetuated the cyclical downfall of disappointment he existed in.

"You're really a bright kid, Eddie," his math teacher reassured him. "Trust me, we all want you to succeed. You deserve to graduate this year, especially after all the hard work you've put into raising your grades, we don't want this to be the thing that keeps you from getting your diploma."

"So you're going to sweep my math grades under the rug?" he suggested with a mildly sly smirk playing on his lips. His teacher laughed at Eddie's attempt to get the school to ignore his failing grade, but spoke to clear any confusion.

"How would you feel about getting a tutor?"

"I don't think my uncle can afford a tutor, Mr. Klein," Eddie said in a somewhat defeated tone. He'd heard the richer kids at school talk about how they had either a subject specific, or college-prep tutor come to their homes a few days a week to bring up their grades or to prepare for higher education. Never did he think someone would even confuse him for the type of person who would be able to obtain such a luxury. He knew he wasn't going to college unless he had a scholarship--which by his grades and lack of involvement in athletics seemed to be an impossibility. All he wanted was his damned diploma and to flip the bird to his principal one final time.

"I have a student in one of my advanced classes who has some free-time after school. If you're interested, I can arrange for you two to meet so you can work on the materials in one-on-one setting, perform some extra-credit work, and study for the last test of the year."

That's how Eddie Munson ended up at the library after school on a Friday sitting across the table from Helen McKillop. He'd known of Helen since kindergarten, but never spoke to her in their years of attending the same school. Part of it was that they never shared any classes--he was in all on-level courses while she was enrolled in every advanced course the school offered. The other reason he'd never spoken to her before was because it seemed as if she would run the other way if he so much as looked at her.

He'd always remembered her as this timid girl who avoided getting to know anyone outside of her immediate friend group. Barbra Holland and Nancy Wheeler were two of the only people in school Eddie ever remembered Helen interacting with, and after Barb's disappearance and death, she stopped talking to Nancy altogether. Her last two years of high school were spent in the background of everyone else's story. It was as if she were a non-player character that existed simply to further the plot of everyone else's high school life.

Eddie sat across from her, his metal rings clanking loudly on the table as he anxiously tapped to the drumming of his heart. His knee bounced impatiently as he waited for her to say something in regards to the notes he'd taken and the small assignment he completed in class that his teacher wanted her to look over before Eddie officially turned it in. However, her fingers continued to turn the paper over, and her eyes continued to scan his chicken-scratched writing from behind her glasses lenses.

Helen McKillop...the geek he thought to himself in a slight tone of either disgust or dread. Of course he knew that the social hierarchy of high school was bullshit, but it still existed, and people within varying stages of that hierarchy developed opinions of people in others. He knew his place among the hierarchy as a "freak" and he knew what others thought of him. He had mostly come to accept the bullshit stigma of being labeled a freak, and he embraced making the jocks feel uncomfortable. It was nice, in a weird way, having anyone be intimidated by the kid who, in elementary school, was teased for how often he cried. In hindsight, he shouldn't have believed the stereotypes and rumors that were spread about Helen, and he shouldn't have approached their first tutoring session with those in mind, but he did.

Helen had always been quiet, and she could tell her silence was beginning to drive Eddie Munson up a wall. She'd only known of Eddie in passing, but there was something about him that always made her feel uneasy in a good way. She couldn't describe it, but whenever she noticed him being his authentic self among his friends, she could pinpoint this desire and urge within herself to break out of her shell and participate in whatever shenanigans and tomfoolery he was getting into. To be honest, that urge scared her, and given the choice between fight and flight, her body would choose flight ten out of ten times. Helen McKillop didn't step out of her comfort zone. She kept her head down, didn't make a fuss, and avoided the whims of adolescence.

With a swift flick of her wrist, Helen pushed the paper back to Eddie after erasing every last pencil mark on the page.

"What was that for?" he asked abruptly as she handed him a blank page.

"I think it's better to start over with a clean slate," she admitted as a piece of her conscious mind recognized the sub-conscious decision to get over her, for lack of a better combination of words, enamored fear of the boy before her.

"Did you have to erase my name?" he grumbled under his breath as he printed E-d-d-i-e M-u-n-s-o-n back in the top right corner of the page.

With a great sense of apprehension, Helen opened Eddie's textbook to the section Mr. Klein told her Eddie's class was in. While Helen was in Pre-Calculus, Eddie was still in Algebra, so his homework was a breath of fresh air to her; however, within seconds of watching the boy before her shove his pencil into his hair and begin twirling it around a coiled lock, she quickly realized the difficulty Eddie was experiencing.

"Is it that you don't know how to do it, or is it that it seems like a lot to do and it's overwhelming to look at?" Helen asked as she studied the boy across from her.

Eddie's bottom lip was pinched between his teeth, his narrowed eyes peered vengefully down at the paper before him, and his nose was ever so lightly scrunched that it would have been impossible to make out had she not been searching for it. She recognized the look on his face--hell, she'd worn that look a number of times herself--and immediately knew the answer to her question.

"I can do it!" Eddie retorted a little too loudly and ended up being shushed by some nearby middle schoolers.

"I didn't say you couldn't," Helen quickly responded in a shy and reserved tone. She took a deep breath and found herself letting it out abruptly in frustration at Eddie's defiance. "You're a musician, right?" she pressed in hopes he'd stop being so closed off and defensive around her. He nodded in response as he continued to absentmindedly stare at the numbers and letters on the page before him. "What do you play?" her voice was what he'd expected based on the type of girl he thought Helen to be--soft and light, like a feather drifting in the wind.

"Guitar mostly."

"I take it the guitar didn't just come to you super easily, right?"

"No, things don't come easily to me," Eddie nearly hissed in frustration. Here was this girl--this nerdy, goody-two-shoes, teacher's pet girl--who probably has never had to struggle for a descent grade in her whole life, trying to talk to him about what comes easy?

"All I'm saying is, like with music and learning an instrument, things take practice. It's okay to not know where to start."

"The thing is, I know what to do, I just don't know how to make it through these damn questions without wanting to fall asleep. Learning guitar was easy because it was something that was interesting to me. I'm just taking this class because I have to."

Understanding the root of the problem, Helen silently began digging around in her bag until she found a d20. The di certainly caught Eddie's attention since Helen McKillop was the last person he'd expect to play Dungeons and Dragons.

"The good thing is, we don't have to start at the beginning and work our way to the end," she said as she rolled the di and noticed the number 12 appear right side up. "Sometimes I don't know where to start with things either, so I leave it up to chance. Chance says we start at question number twelve," she said and turned his homework over. "Focusing is hard for me, so I have to make little games of things to hold my attention."

"And so you use DND dice to decide how to do your homework?" Eddie asked with a slight laugh as he began to work through the problem.

"My parents took me to be evaluated for ADD in middle school. I've had a few years to find things that work for me. DND dice keeps school a bit more interesting, however I've found them to be more effective to add a few incentives though."

"You had problems in school?" The shock in his voice was evident as Helen anxiously bit at her lower lip.

"I never had to try on assignments," she admitted, only to have the looming judgement of Eddie Munson's words 'things don't come easily for me' echo in her ears. "When I did struggle with something I took it out on myself and thought I was just too stupid or lazy to grasp it. Knowing how to motivate myself to do the things I don't want to do helped me with my boring subjects, but also made me even stronger in the ones I liked."

"So you also just didn't try to do things you thought were too complicated to just start doing?" Eddie's voice was now gentle as he realized he couldn't have been more wrong about Helen.

"Correct," she said as her gaze lifted from where she'd been staring at where his ring clad fingers rested upon the paper in order to meet his eyes. "I promise that if you find ways to keep your brain engaged in what you're doing, you'll find it easier to get things you don't want to do done."

"You promise?" Eddie repeated her words hesitantly as he playfully yet skeptically raised an eyebrow at the girl before him.

"I do," she assured him with what had to be the sweetest, most wholesome smiles he'd seen grace another person's face.

"Well then, I guess I'll keep at it," he said with a joyful grin landing on his lips until it faltered into a coy smirk. "After all, I want to know more about those incentives you were talking about." With a curt wink, he could see her cheeks begin to flush and could feel the heat rising into his own ears. And so the freak began to fall for the geek.

[masonshaws]

15 people 15 questions

thanks @girlfriendline @giveemgreef @tblueger <333

1. are you named after anyone?

i am not! my middle name was an homage to my mom's grandparents but i have since changed it and my parents are blessedly allergic to otherwise naming anything after anybody

2. when was the last time you cried?

few days before christmas

3. do you have kids?

no and i do not want to. i have one fur baby (that i co-parent with my parents lmao) though as you all well know (scout my baby boy <3)

4. what sports do you play/have you played?

played kids' baseball/softball until i was like 10/11 bc i was constantly in the outfield and nobody can pitch until you get to like. high school. so it was boring and i hated it so i quit. i was on dance team for a while until i had to drop it bc recital dates kept being on the same days as school band concerts. was in marching band throughout high school, which counts bc i was a percussionist and had to lug around those heavy drum harnesses

5. do you use sarcasm?

a ridiculous amount. if we also count like comedic lying in this i accidentally convinced a coworker that there were only three seasons of spongebob doing that whole pretending that only the good parts of a show exist. such a shame spongebob ended after season 3. there's no more of it! just too bad

6. what’s the first thing you notice about people?

hair probably

7. what’s your eye color?

brown! medium tending towards dark

8. scary movies or happy endings?

while i love gothicness and gothyness i am a Known Weenie and certain types of gore literally make me feel faint. like the finale of the terror s1 made me a little faint and gave me the sweats and i had to fully pause the episode and lay on the floor for a while. so i guess categorically happy endings based on that. if a scary movie isn't super gory though i'll go for it

9. any talents?

i’m very performing arts inclined! i play piano, sing, dance, and act (was a theatre major in college). i memorize things quickly if i set my mind to it, am great at navigating, have great pitch memory (like i can be exactly or near-exactly on pitch when singing something i’ve heard before even without backing accompaniment. this unfortunately drives me crazy when people post pitch-shifted versions of songs and i can tell they’re off. bearer of the curse), decent stage combatant, good crowd weaver, and somehow bear the ability to unintentionally come off as intimidating to basically everyone i’ve ever met

10. where were you born?

iowa, usa

11. what are your hobbies?

i'm something of a gamer in my spare time. basically only solo joints though i'm not like gamer nhlers that play like. league of legends or fortnite or counterstrike. i've recently joined a community band and a bar trivia team (with my old middle school choir teacher lmao. he's a homie), i write fic every once in a while, read, dance around the house, go for walks when it's not cold, snuggle my pup, and obviously watch hockey. i keep telling myself i'm going to learn how to sew but trying to find beginner projects for men types is fucking dire and i keep not going out to get fabric for the pirate blouse i keep wanting to make rip

12. do you have any pets?

ah there's a separate question for this. scout, my yellow lab baby boy whose breeder had a confederate flag up in his barn when we got him (we saved you buddy). have some pictures

13. how tall are you?

5'5". short king territory

14. favorite subject in school?

i was a band/choir bitch. probably followed by english (literature). i liked basically all of it but phys ed though fuck that class i hate distance running it gives me a stitch in my side and you have to run a mile at least twice a semester (fuck you presidential fitness test). on top of all the other running they make you do. loved when they just did games though. matball my beloved

15. dream job.

actor, either stage or voice. unfortunately i do not want to live where the big voice acting studios are located and regional stage acting is kind of limited unless you go all the way out to chicago, which i tried for a couple of months before multiple breakdowns told me i should probably be closer to home. i enjoy being a librarian though :)

tagging @get-hockeyed-idiot @amandaleveille @wildaboutmnhockey @girldewar @letkirillfight @yes-perwallstedt if you guys haven't done it yet and also anyone else who wants to