#this was the best gig ive been too in a while

[rawvnoisevcruster]

chaos string

pics by @ skullxcrusher on instagram

[hannieehaee]

OUTTA MY MIND (teaser)

18+ / mdi

summary: getting a brand new job as a senior idol's manager was scary enough on its own, but it became even worse when said idol was jeon jungkook, idol of all idols. what made it even worse? when jungkook began taking a special liking to you, damning any conflict of interest his crush on you may have had.

content: idol!au, staff!reader x idol!jungkook, jungkook is shameless about his crush on reader, but it's fine bc reader likes him back!!, reader acts hard to get bc her job is too important though boo, afab reader, banter, jk is a flirt, reader is a little bit shy, a lot of rlly wrong info about working in the industry, smut, oral (f receiving), penetrative sex, etc.

(^ no actual content warnings in the teaser)

wc: 924 (teaser); 7.7k (full fic)

release date: may 31st

or you can check it out on my ko-fi or patreon today by subscribing to either one!

a/n: ive had this in the drafts for a while but kept forgetting to finish it lol anyways i hope u guys enjoy it once it comes out<3 (also not 100% proofread oops..)

masterlist | kofi/patreon

support me through a one time tip<3

Whenever you'd tell someone you worked within the entertainment industry, – the music industry, to be precise – people always showed a little extra interest in your words, probably assuming you to be involved in the flashier aspects of it. The statement on it's own sounded exciting, enigmatic even. This would only then be followed by disappointed upon finding out your specific profession of choice, deeming it less exciting than most.

You were a manager. No, you were not an active member of the entertainment industry itself, but you were one of the many pillars necessary for the talent to create the entertainment people would always seek.

Being as young as you were, it had been hard to get to where you were so quickly. Networking had been your best friend all throughout your career, eventually landing you in your current role – one that would only open even more doors for you.

It had only been a week since you had received a call from your friend – an old friend from an internship who just so happened to be a former Hybe video producer – letting you know of a recent opening as one of the many managers at the company. Having been between gigs at the time, you jumped at the chance without a second thought. Hybe? The biggest entertainment company in Korea? You didn't need any details before agreeing.

It was a few days later in which you found out the details. The opportunity had been even more life-altering than you'd thought.

Originally, you had believed you'd end up becoming manager to one of the many brand new rookie groups in the growing company. With so many surging youth in the industry, it made sense to you that you'd be assigned such a role, not having had any prior experience within Hybe itself.

Except that wasn't the case. Having previously worked and interned at a few other South Korean entertainment companies through the years, it seemed like Hybe deemed you experienced enough to assign you the role of becoming a senior artist's manager.

Jeon Jungkook.

Senior artist had been an understatement. Those had been the words written in your contract, explaining your role in excruciating detail, yet failing to mention that your client would be Korea's most popular singer.

You couldn't lie, you were insanely intimidated by your new role. Despite being proudly skilled at your job, becoming the manager of an idol who had been in the game for longer than you'd even been out of college was a bit scary. Jungkook had gone from the absolute bottom to the top, he had most likely lived through it all by now – what kind of expertise could you offer someone who had already seen it all?

Being manager of an idol differed slightly from managing any other person. Idol companies usually handled the schedulings, bookings, and the legalities of their artists. As a manager, you somewhat took the role of a bodyguard. You were meant to show up everywhere Jungkook went and become his spokesperson – vying for him as if your life depended on it.

And now it was too late to back out – not that you actually wanted to. All paperwork had been signed, you had your own personal Hybe badge and all the benefits that came along with working at the company. Any feelings of intimidation or fear for the role would have to be put aside as you walked into the Hybe building to meet with your new client; the boy you'd have to stick by 24/7 from now on.

You weren't sure what you were expecting upon meeting him. It wasn't like there would be any special introduction, or even as if you were his sole manager; no, he actually had a few others who would occasionally aid him in the absence of his main manager, which was now you. Today was a workday for him, meaning that he likely already had a few people in supportive roles as he did whatever it was that Jeon Jungkook did while working.

Walking into the huge building, after getting lost a few times, you made your way to the seventh floor, which, as you'd been informed, had various rooms designated for photoshoots. That's where you'd find Jungkook for the first time, presumably having one of the many shoots scheduled for this week.

Having possession of his schedule made you realize how busy idol life was. Despite having no public schedules all this week, he had a packed itinerary, filled with either shoots or signings or producing sessions. You hadn't even met him yet, but you were already assured that he was overly hardworking – and you had maybe also stalked him online this past week.

It was very unlikely you'd even speak to him, seeing how busy he was. Your duty, after all, was just to be one of the many members of his team, taking care of any logistics as you went around with him, but not taking away from his time by socializing with him.

Upon entering the room, he was the first thing you noticed. Ignoring every other person working the room, your eyes focused specifically on him. It was hard not to, since he was quite literally standing under the spotlight, modeling for a camera. But it was more than that. He had an aura that filled up the room. Putting aside every stylist and photographer in the room, every staff member and intern, he was truly the epitome of main character.

Fuck. Was this going to cause trouble?

....

you can check it out today on my ko-fi or patreon by subscribing to either one!

[spookberry]

Shadow High series 3 my new beloved

I didnt even like most of em until i saw them in person, but the knowledge that they'll probably never be in the show has my brain in a "well its free realestate" kinda mood

Random list of information cuz ive been plotting out friend dynamics and background lore

-i like to pretend Rainbow High/Shadow High are actually Rainbow University/Shadow University cuz im in art college Right Now and i think it makes more sense with the whole dorm room situation. And also major makes more sense than focus IMO

-I changed Pinkie's major from film to just undeclared. I think she eventually does land on Film. She just has a lot of interests! Her dream has always been to one day direct films, and I think she comes to love them even more while developing ideas her with the group as she winds up in a Director/Producer position for most of them. BUT also every time she takes a class in a different program she cant help but fall in love with that way of making art too. So she has a hard time picking for a while and changed her major a couple times before landing on Film.

-Pinkie and Berrie bond a lot over a shared interest in vocal synths (tho Berrie knows more about them than her).

-The two made Pinkie's vtuber model together!

-the fandom wiki says PJ is from germany?? Idk how canon that is tbh but ive decided to embrace it i guess

-Rooney's canon name is Scarlet Rose, but i thought it was kinda lame especially when Rosie Redwood is also in this line sooo I renamed her! Stuck to the color name puns tho. Mar Rooney. Maroon. Haha

-Speaking on her though i love that shes from texas and likes writing scifi mystery type stuff and that being said i just Know deep in my bones that she was a Voltron Legendary Defender fan and Keith was/is 100% her favorite. She has a continued fondness for mothman specifically cuz of this.

-PJ and Rooney actually talk about fandom and shows/movies ALL the time. They dont have a ton of overlapping interests, but where they do? The two literally never shut up.

-Rosie is such a random character, like outside of her design she feels very poorly considered. So I scrapped the cosmetology thing and made her an illustrator instead! I think it works better with her love of making art in nature. I can see her being really into illustrated guide books. I think shes a bit snooty when it comes to art too. It takes being friends with other artists to become more open minded.

-I like the idea that Rosie is mainly friends with Rooney and Berrie ontop of that. The three of them often tag team storylines and how theyd interpret them into different mediums. Rosie will draw up a bunch of concept stuff while Rooney writes up a pitch bible and Berrie will start making shit move and throwing in her own ideas on camera angles and character designs.

-as an animation major Berrie was required to take a sound design class early on, which is where she met Oliver! Hes very laid back, and likes to go with the flow, but functions a little like the "mom" of the group. Often reminding the girls to take breaks, drink water, stop looking at their screens lest they get eye strain etc. He's multi-talented tbh but Music is his one true passion and he likes how the girls are always giving him collaboration opportunities.

-Oliver and Rosie like to talk sports a lot, both having played a bunch when they were younger and throughout high school.

-Lavender Lynn is Oliver's number one "person who needs constant reminders to settle down" she is in a constant buzz of trying to get the best shots and is utterly obsessed with the process of artistic documentation. Everything must be documented.

-the whole school loves her for this actually, she has a whole side gig where other students hire her to help photograph their projects. She saves everything she earns from this for her future dream plans to visit paris. She has it set really, many of the artists who she helps photograph now will remain steadfast clients of hers forever onward.

-PJ and Lynn actually took a print media class together at one point. Which didnt at the time spark an everlasting friendship. But it did give PJ an easier in to ask for Lynn's help documenting a project the group was working on. One of Lynn's first times photographing them work happened to fall on a day where Rosie had planned to trick everyone into going on a nature walk sans devices... Lynn wound up really appreciating this outing and decided to continue hanging around the group even after that project had ended.

[cxrsed-angel]

as best friends do| eddie munson x fem!reader

word count: 1k

warnings: drugs (weed), mentions of smut (but no actual smut yet my blog is 18+ but i’m just reiterating this 18+ only MDNI, (both eddie and reader are in theirs twenties)

A/N: i know i promised joel taking care of drunk!reader but this came out when i trying to get through writers block so i hope you enjoy this not proofread fic that i wrote in one sitting. (also ive never been high so sorry if some things aren’t accurate

gif credits:@/ lukepattrsns

"wanna make an adult movie” you blink slowly trying to understand what eddie has just asked you

you imagined a gory, violent horror movie with fake blood and everything. Which would be fun to do, he was extremely creative so youre sure he would have a good script.

“like m-rated horror film or like a porno” it’s quiet as you wait for eddie to answer the air thick, the ocean documentary is the only thing keeping it from being dead silent. eddie takes another hit of the joint before passing it to, he exhales slowly before answering.

“a porno” you turn and face him not knowing if he was joking but the look on his face was serious.

suddenly the room felt thick and hot and the shorts you have on feel too short, your face feels hotter and swear you’re hearts beating so loud he could heart it.

“okay i think that’s enough weed.” you stand up from the couch needed to get water and create some distance between you and eddie after what he just said.

“oh come on you haven’t thought about it before” he leans back against the coach nonchalantly like he wasn’t asking you to flim a sex tape.

you shake your head laughing, you couldn’t believe you were having this conversation you’ve known eddie for almost 4 years yet he still manage to surprise you.

“no eddie i haven’t thought about filming porn with my best friend.” you couldn’t believe him.

you watch him get up from the couch and make his way to the kitchen and leans over the counter.

“what about when you were sucking my cock in the back of the van a few weeks ago.” you open your mouth to argue but he doesn’t give you a chance.

“oh before that when i was fucking you in the bathroom after my gig hmm?”

“well um still that’s different—” you stutter as he cuts you off again as he approaches where you’re standing.

“what about when you got that new skirt the other day and let me fuck you in was it because you looked to pretty in it i couldn’t resist was that different too?"

he steps closer to you trapping you between the counter your leaning against and his body, he moves a piece of hair that had fallen in front of your face, you don’t know why you were so nervous what the fuck was that weed you smoked, he stares into your eyes for a few minutes waiting for you say something but you stayed silent your brain unable to argue only think the times he mentioned and all the times that he didn’t mention.

but suddenly he backs away, “but i don’t wanna make you uncomfortable so just forgot i mention okay sweetheart” he smirks and takes your water and sits back on the couch and puts on a movie.

he knew you, he knew the affect he had on you and that you wouldn’t forget it, it had started out as a one time thing, you were both virgins and wanted to get it over with, you both promised to not make it weird after just friends helping each other out, but that one time had turned into basically an unspoken best friends with benefits situation.

you roll your eyes at how he know how to mess you with you, you sit back on the couch next to him and watch the movie. but you were still thinking about what he said.

“your not just asking cause you’re high right.” eddie takes his eyes off the movie and looks at you.

“no no been thinking about for while actually the weed just made me less nervous to finally ask.” he pauses reading your face “but like i said don’t worry about okay.” he places a hand on your knees rubbing it reassuringly and he turns back to the movie.

“i didn’t say no” but that has his attention back on you.

“oh so you’re saying yes.” you see the smile starting to form.

“not necessarily, do you have a shitty plot line?” you ask not really wanting to play a sexy nurse or something.

he frowns shaking his head “no no just me and you like usual just happens to be a camera” you open your mouth but he’s seems to know what you were gonna say.

“steve has a camera he said i could borrow even comes with a stand” you raise your eyebrows at how much thought he has put into this.

“and harringtons okay with us using his camera for porn.” eddie scoots and places an arm around the back of the couch and pulling you into close.

“well don’t get cum on the camera and he wouldn’t even know right, and you’re not a squirter—well that one time—“ you shove him away lightly before he continue.

“oh my god you said you wouldn’t talk about that time” he laughs and pulls you back into him.

“i’m sorry babe but it’s was so hot and you’re face after was so cute you were so embarrassed and shy“ he continues to teasing but makes up for by kissing your cheek, like best friends do right?

you roll your eyes and scrunch up your face pretending to be disgusted, which only makes him kiss you more placing kisses all around your face.

“Eddieee stoppp!”’ you beg in between giggles.

he stops for a second looking between your eyes and your lips before aggressively placing his lips on yours you’re surprised but you quickly melt against the familiar feeling closing your eyes and embracing the kiss, his hand move you off your sit on the couch into his lap, resting on your ass and squeezing it every now and then, you run your hands through his hair in the back lightly tugging it, you continue like this until you both can’t breathe.

he looks at you with his brown eyes blown with lust “so that’s a yes” you nod more quickly than you intended.

“yea it’s a yes— so are we like um gonna do it now” you ask as you start feeling yourself getting wetter and more turned on.

he lets out a small laugh “i don’t have the camera now sweetheart but i’m glad you’re excited i’ll ask steve about later this week ok?” his hands slowly rub up and down your back as you nod.

“okay” he catches the slight disappointment you were trying to hide.

“hey that’s doesn’t mean we can’t practice right.” he suggests before kissing your neck occasionally sucking on it knowing it would leave a mark.

you nod as you get up from his lap, grabbing his hand and leading him to his room, to “practice” for filming a sex tap, you know as best friends do.

[sophswritingthings]

ruin my life -- chapter 1

| warning(s): light swearing |

| a/n: modern mizu had such a grip on me, and now were here. |

| summary: an overlook into mizu's life before you enter it. |

| song rec: ruin my life -- zolita (for the story, in general) |

| word count: 776 words / 4,211 characters |

______________________________________________________________

mizu always kept to herself, she was never the loud type. always played a background role, even if people thought she should be in the spotlight.

never had she believed that before she met eiji.

eiji was an alumni at her school.. one of the many famous actors the school had produced. the amount of actors they had produced is why she really wanted to go to the school, in the first place.

and meeting him kind of changed her whole perception of her own talent, of her own mind. if someone who was so great could tell her all these great things about herself, they were true, surely.

"listen here, kid, nobody ever did anything by sitting on their ass and never getting anything done," he furrowed his eyebrows as they walked side by side, through the halls of the marbled school. "I know that better than anyone. you remind me of myself, when I went here."

she arched one eyebrow, "how come? im.. nothing like you, I mean.. you're this great actor and im just.. a college student who can barley pay their own tuition."

he gently gripped her shoulder, nodding, "exactly. do you think I was some great guy while I was in college? I didn't come from riches, kid, I could barley pay for this college when I was your age."

she adverted her gaze, a little sigh leaving her lips, "suppose that's true," mizu mumbled.

"and ive heard you do fencing," he tapped his cane against the ground, "as did i."

"oh--yeah. yeah, I know," a small smile crossed her lips. "its part of the reason I wanted to start. sort of, I guess."

"its a noble practice," he nodded, smiling a bit. "may I request to meet you, again, mizu? after your classes, tomorrow."

her eyes widened, gazing at him. someone as great as him, wanted anything to do with them?

"um, uh, yes." she stammered, "I'll meet you here."

and from then on, that's what they'd do. hours turned into days, and days turned into weeks that she would meet eiji for both fencing practice, and acting/college advice.

eiji was basically the father she had never had, someone to inspire her, push her forward.

her college life had improved, a little. not by much, but a little. she still lived in a small-ass college dorm with three other girls, sharing two sets of bunk beds in the room the size of a walk in closet.

"mizu? hey?" one of the girls, carrie, seemed to take an interest in her early. and of course, she had settled on the top bunk of mizu's bed. the girl popped down, swinging her head over mizu's bed. "you doin' anything tomorrow? me and some friends were going out and--"

mizu's head had almost immediately blocked out any word she said. she didn't want anything to do with this girl, nor what she was offering. she seemed to be the kind of girl to cling and never leave, and she was not about that. she'd come home crying over some new girl every week, she could guess, crying that they said she was "too clingy".

"uh--yeah. im working," mizu hissed, never looking up from her phone.

that wasn't a lie, actually, she had work at her average pay job as a barista. she had been working there ever since she got accepted into the college, how else would she pa her tuition?

not that it helped, much, it wasn't the best pay ever. and her tuition was more than 50,000 dollars a year--she was going to be in debt for more days than she thought she could count. but if she managed (and hopefully she would, with eijis help) to get a good gig, or few, she could pay it off in no time.

the coffee shop wasn't too bad, though. customers were usually quiet, besides the few that would come in every so often. she'd get okay tips, considering she tried to be as respectful as she could.

she had her friends. none of which attended the same school--they all had different majors. whom she considered her best friend, akemi, was in harvard law school miles away from them. taigen had gotten into law school, too, just not the same. (he definitely wasn't smart enough for harvard, that's for sure.) and ringo, the sweet culinary major she'd met going out for drinks, one night, with akemi. he was a mixologist, and despite his lack of hands--he was a wonderful one.

her life was calm. her life was quiet.

there was never anything absolutely interesting, about it.

that was--until you walked into it.

______________________________________________________________

[caffstrink]

do you have any tips on how to live off as artist professionally?

First of all art isn't always a viable option depending where you live. The only reason ive been able to live off art is because the american dollar is worth 5x more than the brazilian real so even if i didn't get many comms i could still get by with the few i had. and if that wasn't the case I'd pretty much be eating breadcrumbs off the floor like a pigeon.

1. Whore yourself out and draw fanart of every popular or trending thing to gather attention to youe art

2. Learn your platforms: learn how each websites algorithm works, learn what are the best hours to post, etc

3. I cannot stress enough how important it is to find your niche

4. Everyone is fake no one wants to be your friend, other popular artists will start following you the moment your following becomes good enough. They'll start to interact with you too and want to become mutuals in order to share followings/traction. If you can play into that you can get them to share your stuff as well, but honestly don't fall for it bc most of them shittalk other artists on their privs or personal servers and the stress isnt worth it

5. Draw nsfw if possible/if you're comfortable with. People who commission porn pay well and they often have very few options when commissioning stuff bc most artists don't accept porn commissions.

6. Accept being an artist is a hard job that doesn't pay really well. If you're freelancing on comms life's always going to be a tightrope, so i suggest trying to do professional work once in a while so you can at least have the security of a salary. Draw backgrounds, gestures, scenes, studies, and the likes, bc those are what companies will want in your portfolio

7. Depending where you live it's extremely hard to live off as an artist, and being an artist is often means a very difficult struggle with finances. It's a job that requires passion, and more often than not turning art in a job causes creative burnout and complete loss of spark for it. Ask yourself: why do you want to be a professional artist? Isn't it better to keep it as a hobby? Maybe a side gig if you need money? You can still pursue art even if you don't do it to earn money, and it doesn't make you any less of an artist. It's a difficult job, and you need to understand its not going to be viable at all times and sometimes you'll have to throw in the towel and do something else to survive and there's 0 shame in that.

8. Be professional and courteous with your clients. Don't be a doormat, but don't go around ghosting people or being passive aggressive or taking them for granted and never deliver any product. Doing art for money is a JOB. Treat it like such. Inform your clients about delays, or any issues that may come up.

9. Take care of yourself and by that i mean eat decent food, exercise your arms, get 8 hours of sleep and get some sun (or take vitamin D periodically if youre a basement dweller). This isn't some self care uwu shit, it's actual science that your body is a machine and not providing what it needs to function leads to issues, and some of those issues include affecting your mental health, and mental health issues include and are not limited to: anxiety, depression, burnout, loneliness, feeling like your art sucks, feeling unmotivated, feeling like you're a failure, etc. Same with physical: for the love of GOD you DON'T want wrist issues. You dont want carpal or ulnar nerve entrapment. Don't draw 24/7. Don't push yourself either. If youre feeling shitty its time to STOP. Just picture a shitty graphics card trying to run minecraft with 5 shaders and 10 mods at once on fullscreen with 60 fps. Thats you. Youre the graphics card

10. Don't be a bitch, don't get involved with drama. Can't be an internet artist if you get cancelled so don't try to start shit at any point in time. Don't be a shit person.

And from the top of my head thats it, hope you like eating plain bread 🍞

[miela]

Shattered Memories • Chapter IV: What Friends Are For • {Peter Parker x Stark!Reader}

Chapter Genre: Idk tbh, some regular degular conversations between friends. Chapter Warnings: None (???) Masterlist

↪ divider by firefly-graphics

A girlish scream came from the doorway of the restaurant and you winced knowing exactly who it was. You looked over to see Celina running towards you and hugging you tightly almost knocking the wind out of you and out of your seat at the bar. 

“Oh my god, (Y/N),” Celi exclaimed. “It’s so good to see you!”

Celina was wearing a black fitted cropped cardigan that had a sweetheart neckline and a dark purple, floral-lace, high-waisted mini skirt with a black belt. Her long, brown hair was pulled up into a bun on top of her head and her bangs fell on her forehead and around the frame of her face. A tattoo choker and a velvet choker with a silver moon charm on it wrapped around her neck and she had silver moons hanging from her ears and various silver rings on her fingers. Her nails were black and her makeup was simple but bold with thick eyeliner and dark purple lips. She seemed a little taller but it was because of the ankle demonia boots she was wearing.

She reminded you of a character that would be in a film that was a cross between Sabrina Spellman from The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina and a character from The Craft which just happens to be two of her favorite things to watch. 

“Hey, Celi,” you smiled and hugged back. “It’s good to see you too.”

“Damn, Celina,” you heard a familiar voice chuckle, coming from behind her. “Don’t choke her to death.”

Ned was wearing a simple outfit that contrasted with Celina’s very detailed look. He wore a black tee shirt with a pair of denim jeans, a blue letterman jacket with white sleeves with MIT in red letters on it, and red classic vans. He wore a red beanie and a pair of black glasses. 

Celi pulled back and looked at him. “Darling, you and I both know that I don’t even have half of the capacity to choke her out,” she giggled.

Celina and Ned have been dating for 4 and a half years. Almost immediately after the day at the Statue of Liberty, she went to train with the sorcerers at the Sanctum Sanctorum. Six months later she was able to speak for the time in her life. You remember the first thing she did was confess her love to Ned just to find out that he felt the same way she did. They’ve been together ever since. 

And she was a chatterbox but all of you loved that about her. 

“Ned!” You exclaimed and got up and hugged him.

“Hey (Y/N)!” He matched your energy and tone and hugged you back. “It’s been, like, way too long since any of us have seen you.” 

“I know, I’m sorry,” You apologized genuinely as you pulled away. 

You turn slightly to see another figure you haven’t seen in a while. She was wearing a plain white tee that was tucked into black, distressed mom jeans that were rolled up at the hem, an oversized denim jacket that was rolled up at the sleeves, and white Converse. Her hair was chin-length and curly and she had minimal makeup on. It contrasted your black leather jacket, black AC/DC Band tee, black distressed fitted jeans, and your black Doc Martens.

She gave you a blank expression. 

You looked back at her with the same expression. “Michelle.”

“(Y/N).” She responded and squinted at you.

You do the same as Ned and Celina looked at each of you silently. You two eyed each other for a good ten seconds before you cracked under the false tension and giggled. She snorted and did the same thing.

“Come here, you loser.” She smiled and held her arms open.

You quickly hugged your best friend as she hugged you back for a moment and rocked side to side. Ned and Celina let out a relieved sigh and laugh. 

“Nice to know you’re not a hologram,” she joked.

“I missed you too, MJ,” you chuckle as you pull back. 

You all sat down at a table and began catching up immediately. You found out that MJ had gotten into theater as a side gig and wanted to audition for something bi, Celina started a YouTube channel and began taking singing lessons and Ned was working on his Master’s Program at MIT. You told them about life as a CEO and how the first year is driving you crazy already and how Morgan is a pain in the ass but you love her nonetheless. You guys laughed and gossiped about the little things and talked about your future plans as you guys ate. You guys sat there for a while.

“So, I have some news,” Celina smiled.

We all looked at her wondrously and she showed her hand with a beautiful diamond ring on it and a smug smile on her face. You and MJ had shocked expressions on your faces as you looked from each other to her to Ned who smiled at the two of you.

“We’re engaged,” he chimed.

You squealed and got up hugged them both and sang congratulations to them repeatedly. MJ also got up and hugged them. Once you guys settled back into your seats, Celina continued to tell you how they got engaged. It was something they started talking about and then one day at a dinner at his family’s house, he got on one knee and asked. She cried even though she knew it was going to happen at some point, but this doesn’t surprise you because Celina was always a softie at heart. 

“Enough about us,” Celina giggled. “What about you two? Any love interests.”

“Nah,” MJ said. “Been too busy with auditions and stuff. But I also don’t want anything right now.”

“Valid,” Celina responded and shifted her eyes to you. “And you?”

You instantly thought about Peter and debated on telling them about him or not. You opened your mouth and then closed it pressing your lips together before sighing and looking up and over at particularly nothing and you thought of what to say to them.

“Aht-Aht, Nuh-Uh,” MJ started. “You’re doing your I’m-About-To-Tell-A-Lie face.”

You looked at her with a defensive smile, “I am not!”

“You are,” Ned replied with a smirk. “Like you’re about to tell us a big lie.”

“I am not!”

“You can’t fool us,” Celina said crossing her arms over her chest and looking at you suspiciously. “We know you too well.”

You looked to each of your friends staring you down to hear your response before you sighed in defeat.

“Okay! Okay,” you started throwing your hands up in a defensive surrender. “There is someone but…”

How could you tell to them when even you don’t have all of the answers to whatever was going on between you and Peter and your unknown past? Plus, since Ned and MJ know him from the coffee shop you didn't want Michelle to grill him like she probably would.

“But?” Celina sang in encouragement for you to continue.

“It’s….complicated.” You stated. 

MJ's brows furrowed. "Complicated how?"

"Well," You hesitate to let out a deep breath. "I like him but there's a disconnection. It's like I know him but I don't know him at the same time. And I want to know him but… I dunno, it's like he's afraid of me knowing something."

"Wow," MJ nodded slowly. "That is complicated. And confusing." 

"Yeah," you responded. "Remember when I felt like I had that empty space? When I'm with him I feel …complete."

"Awww," Celina cooed with a soft baby animal look in her eye. "That's so cute!"

“Yeah, maybe in some romance book or movie,” you deadpanned. “But I just…I dunno.”

There was a silence that fell over you guys for a long moment before someone spoke again.

“Hey,” Ned smiled softly. “If you’re serious about this guy, I would just communicate with him a little better on how you feel.”

“Yeah and if he turns out to be a dudebro, I can vaporize him,” Celina added. 

“Dear fucking god, no,” you replied blinking your eyes in disbelief. “No vaporizing.”

“I was joking,” Celina sang. “I don’t even know how to vaporize people…yet.”

You all giggled softly.

“In all honesty, you can always turn to us when you need help,” MJ smiled at you.

“Thanks, you guys,” you smiled.

“Of course,” MJ replied. “What are friends for?”

Later on, you guys went in separate ways with Celina and Ned leaving together hand-in-hand, and MJ and you walked in the opposite direction. You two were in no rush to part so you walked at a slow pace.

“So,” she started. “Tell me what’s really going on with you and mystery man.”

You look at her. Damn it. “I can’t keep anything from you can I?” 

“Of course not,” She said in a tone that said ‘obviously’, “I’m the Michelle John Watson to your Sherstark Holmes. We’re partners, I know you more than you know yourself sometimes.”

You laughed at her statement. “Very true, very true.”

She smiled. “So tell me. What’s going on, girl.”

You let out a sigh and stopped walking, she took a few steps before she noticed that you stopped and followed suit and turned to look at you with a worried look on her face.

“You remember those dreams I told you about?”

“Yeah, faceless boy right?”

You nodded. “It’s him.”

Her eyes widened for a moment and then they squinted in thought, “So they really are memories…”

“Yeah,” you press your lips together. “And I think he knows it.”

“...Is it that guy you asked us about? Peter Parker.”

You looked at her silently. Fuck. Sometimes you forget how perceptive and observant MJ is. And her memory was always on point, especially when it came to attention to detail. 

“He knows us doesn’t he?” She added. 

You stayed silent.

“And we know him.” 

You hesitate a second before nodding. 

“But we don’t remember him.”

You nodded again. 

“Do you think it’s like some…premonition or something? Maybe Celina can help.”

You shake your head. “Not until I have enough information on it.”

She held her chin in between her fingers and she looked up in thought. “I could get it out of him for you.”

“No, Michelle,” you said sternly. “Please I am begging you don’t interrogate him. I did that already and if you do it he’ll nearly piss himself and probably leave the country. I’m not chasing him around the world.”

“Nah, you would,” She responded. “If it meant you being able to solve your migraine problem, you would.”

You would. You sighed. 

“Fine, I won’t grill him. I’ll leave it in your hands.” She raised her hands in surrender. “But you know where to find me if shit gets real.”

You smiled. “I know.”

“Parker, are you still hungover or something?” 

Peter looked over at his blonde and blue-eyed friend, Gwen Stacy, who was tapping his shoulder and looking at him with her eyebrow lifted. 

Peter was sitting at a table in the food court area with his friends at Empire State University. It was a thing they did in between and after class. Across from him sat Gwen Stacy and next to him sat Harry Osborn. Next to Gwen was her boyfriend, Miles Morales, and next to Miles was Pavitr Prabhakar. Next to Harry sat Cindy Moon.  

These were the people Peter surrounded himself with. They were brilliant-minded people who came from different walks of life and Peter had learned so much from them honestly.

Gwen is the daughter of a police captain named George Stacy (who really did not like Spiderman) and she was studying Biochemistry. She had short blonde hair that had pink, purple, and blue dip-dyed tips, bright blue eyes, and light freckles that danced across her cheeks. She had a rocker style and played the drums. Peter knew that you two would get along well because of how similar you guys were. He often imagined what it would be like if you, MJ, and Gwen were best friends with each other. It would be the sarcasm olympics.

He let out a sigh. “No, I’m fine now. Just exhausted.”

And he was. Exhausted anyways. He partied hard Saturday night at Harry’s frat house. He probably went a little too hard. Both Harry and Gwen were concerned with how much he drank and how many edibles he ate that night. He didn’t exactly mean to get so wasted, but he couldn’t get his nerves to calm down.

He couldn’t stop his senses from craving you.

“Then why do you look so sad?” Harry asked from beside him.

Harry Osborn, is the son of Norman Osborn who is the founder, owner, and CEO of Oscorp, a robotics and chemical manufacturing company. He was going to school for business administration. Although Harry was a rich kid he was humble and didn’t really flaunt his financial privilege. His style looked expensive though and probably was.  He had dark blonde hair and blue eyes and was a really handsome guy. He was a really nice guy but Peter kept a close eye on his father since in another universe his dad was the green goblin. Harry was also a friend of yours from middle school, so when Peter became friends with him he knew a bit about him already.

“I’m not sad,” Peter defended with not much conviction in his tone. 

“Well, he did say you looked sad,” Miles added. “You don’t have to be sad to look sad. But I know you’re lying because your dumbass got what they call ‘white girl wasted’ the other night.”

Miles Morales is the son of Jefferson Davis, another police captain (who also isn’t fond of Spiderman) and former crime-fighting partner to George Stacy. He is married to Rio Morales, who has patched up Spiderman on numerous occasions when things were serious enough that he had to be rushed to the hospital immediately. If she knew his real identity, she never said anything, which he appreciated. Together they had Miles, who is just as much of a genius as you are. He went to MIT for Engineering but graduated with his degree within two years and is now going to ESU for an art degree. He was brilliant at Graffiti art and often did mural commissions for different buildings as a side gig. He had black hair with a fade undercut that had a thunderbolt-like design on the sides and back of his head and big brown eyes. Peter met him through Gwen.

“I did not get ‘white girl wasted’.” Peter defended again. “I got wasted but definitely not ‘white-girl wasted’.”

“Dude, seriously?” Pavitr added. “You were crying so hard at one point that you threw up all over the yard. I don’t think the grass needed your emotions all over them.”

Pavitr Prabhakar is from India and he came to New York when he was fourteen on a scholarship to Horizon High, a school for brilliant and genius minds. He had big brown eyes and the most luscious hair Peter had ever seen. He was almost jealous of it. Nobody believed him when he said that he only uses coconut oil in his hair. Pav also went to MIT and graduated early and was now going to ESU for an art degree. He is notably really good at doing yo-yo tricks and poi flow arts and often will show off his tricks at parties. He was also really good at doing stunts and he and Peter would often go to the gym and practice parkour moves there. 

“So, I had a little too much to drink,” Peter admitted. “And too much of everything else but I promise you I’m fine.”

Gwen hummed not believing a word he said.

“Then, tell us,” Cindy started. “Who’s the girl you were all upset about?”

Peter looked at her shocked. 

“You said her name at the party,” she added. “And she’s definitely not one of us.”

Cindy Moon is someone Peter knew from Midtown Tech. She was briefly friends with Celina when they were in the same Hallyu club together. Cindy had long black hair with wispy bangs and almond-shaped brown eyes. She was Gwen’s best friend. Peter didn’t know much about her family, mostly because she never liked to talk about it, but they bonded over their time at Midtown Tech and how they should have become friends sooner. Not that it would have mattered. She was going to school for a communications major. 

Peter looked at each of his friends one by one and they looked back at him suspiciously and expectantly. He then sighed and his shoulders dropped. He couldn’t believe he was actually going to even try to explain to them anything about this situation. It was already crazy enough for him to understand but then to try and explain it in the simplest way possible without sounding like he’s gone absolutely sideways, but he’d try. He was clever and smart so he could figure out a way. 

“Alright, fine I’ll tell you,” Peter started. “But don’t make it weird.”

Each of them threw out ‘okays’ and ‘promise’ before they all turned their undivided attention to Peter. 

“So…there’s this girl.”

“I knew it!” Gwen exclaimed. “Pay up, Osborn.”

Peter looked from one blonde to another with his face twisted in an expression of confusion and disbelief. Harry cursed under his breath and sighed as pulled out his wallet. Seriously?

“You guys bet on this?” Peter asked his tone one of disbelief.

“Yep,” Gwen smirked. “In levels. Depending on how this goes I might walk out of here with 20 bucks or one hundred.”

Peter blinked but smirked softly at the two of them curiosity filling his mind. “Okay, you weirdos, can I continue without your outbursts?”

“Sorry,” Gwen said, genuinely apologetic. “Go on.”

“Alright, so there’s this girl, and…she forgot who I am.” He explained sheepishly. 

“Oh?” Pav asked lifting an eyebrow.

“How?” Harry asked with furrowed brows. “Like…literally forgot who you are? Or like ‘left you in the dust for some other person’ kind of forgot?”

“Literally,” Peter nodded. “Kind of like Amnesia.”

“Jinjja?” Cindy exclaimed in her mother tongue of Korean. (translation: “Really?”)

“We were…dating and then she forgot about me and….now she’s back in my life because she knows that she knows me but she doesn’t remember me. And it’s been causing her to have these really bad migraines and honestly…I don’t know how to help her yet because whenever I’m close to her, her migraines get worse. She has a doctor that she works with but I dunno if she’s been actually going to them. And I can’t tell her ‘Hey, I’m your boyfriend from five years ago’ or some shit like that. That sounds so…so creepy and… manipulative.”

“No, it doesn’t,” Gwen replied. “Unless she was like super rich or something.”

Peter looked at Gwen and pressed his lips together with a look that told her that her statement was in fact true. Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open.

“So she’s a trust fund baby like Harrison over here!”

“It’s Harold,” Harry corrected. “And don’t call me that either.”

Peter took a deep breath. “I just don’t want to make this any more difficult for her than it already is and I don’t want her thinking that I’m only after her fortune. I couldn’t care less about how much money she has.” He leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms over his chest. 

“Are you talking about (Y/N)?” Harry asked. 

Peter looked his way with a careful look. “Uhm…” He scratched the back of his head nervously. “Y-Yeah…it’s (Y/N).”

“Stark?!” Gwen exclaimed. “You were dating (Y/N) Stark.” It came out more like a statement rather than a question. “You almost had me there, Peter Parker.”

“You don’t believe me?” Peter asked raising an eyebrow.

“ I would believe you more if you told us that you’re Spiderman,” Miles added with a look of disbelief.

Peter nearly snorted. Man, if you knew.

“I believe you,” Cindy interjected and everyone looked at her confused. “We went to Midtown Tech with her. I didn’t know her personally, but we talked a few times. She’s really cool. It makes sense for them to be together. You seem like her type. She always talked about her study dates with a cute, nerdy guy with Michelle Jones-Watson.”

Peter smiled a little to himself and blushed lightly.

“Okay, so if this is true,” Gwen started again. “I understand your sentiment. But I still think you should tell her.”

Peter threw his head back and sighed. “But what if it makes things difficult? What if it makes her migraines worse? Or…what if she doesn’t feel the same way about me anymore…?” 

He had a hard time admitting that part out loud. Even though you both felt the pull and you clearly still felt something for him…or the idea of him anyway, five years is a long time and you both have grown to be different people than when you were seventeen, naive and in love. 

But Peter was still in love with you, and he was afraid that it was just because of the idea of you too.

“Well then don’t tell her,” Harry stated matter-of-factly. “Just slowly get to know each other again, and whatever comes up in her memory of you, just let it happen.” He gave him a lopsided grin and a friendly, nonchalant shrug. “Go with the flow, Parker.”

Peter thought about it for a moment. Go with the flow. As simple as it was, that was probably the best advice he could have gotten. 

“Yeah,” Cindy agreed. “Think of it as a way to start over and get to know each other in a new light.”

“Wait,” Miles said with a look of realization. “Did you say five years ago?”

“...Yep,” Peter replied, his voice higher than expected due to him having the fear to even confirm it. 

“What caused her to forget you?” Pav asked clicking a pen softly in his hand.

“...Concussion,” Peter said. “Head injury during a battle of Spiderman’s.” 

“Oh, that battle on the bridge, right?” Gwen asked. “With the Iron Spider Duo, right?” 

"Yeah," Peter nodded remembering how you both had almost gotten your asses handed to you during that battle. "That one."

“Damn…” Miles said softly. “That’s a long ass time, and that’s brutal. I hope she gets better soon. Concussions are no joke, man.”

Peter wished he could tell them the full extent of the story.

"Yeah, especially with her migraines, you know? When I'm around her they get worse. It's like she's trying to force me into her memory. And even though I am the missing piece, it's like trying to put two magnets together." 

Everyone went silent and everyone had a thoughtful look on their faces as the cogs in their neurons began turning. Peter realized he said something that resonated with their brain cells. He looked at each of his friends repeatedly.

“What?” Peter asked confused. 

“That's the problem,” Harry replied. “Putting two magnets together.”

“Yeah? What are you getting at?” Peter asked.

“You have to put yourself into new memories.” Harry continued.  “You're already in the old memories right? You're the magnet, her memories are the metal that the magnet attaches to,” He explained. “Since the you five years ago are already attached to those memories. What you need to do is attach yourself to new memories that can possibly replace the old memories."

"So like remaking those memories?"

"Exactly!" Harry smiled. “And it wouldn’t be manipulative, if anything it might help her remember both memories and she can appreciate both of them respectively.”

“I don’t think that’s how it works, Harry,” Cindy responded with an unsure tone in her voice.

“I mean, it’s worth a shot, no?” Harry glanced at her and shrugged before looking back to Peter. “If that doesn’t work then at least you can say that you tried right? And who knows, you might find out that you guys turn out to be great friends still.”

“Y’know for a frat bro, you’re kinda cool, Harry,” Gwen teased.

“Shut up,” He laughed as he squinted his eyes at her. 

Peter chuckled softly before sitting up straight in his chair, “Thanks, you guys,” he smiled at his friends endearingly. “I feel better.”

“Anytime!” Pav smiled. 

“But we better get updates on everything,” Gwen said with a serious look on her face but a not-so-serious tone in her voice. 

Peter chuckled, “Only if she’s okay with it.”

~

Tags: @riordanness @chrisevans-realwife @peterdarlingg @thecrystalclarity @brckenmemories @paleprincesssxo

[benny-the-spaceman]

Breaking down my tlm aus that ive been focusing on the most lately because i need to blabber more

oni emmet: this one's a ninjago au, it mostly centers around emmet, wyldstyle, and benny but metalbeard, gcbc, and mayhem are there often as well. Basically, rex is emmet's twin in this au and he and the other oni are planning on destroying ninjago. emmet doesn't want this, so he finds a way to get to ninjago so that he can find a way to stop the invasion. he meets benny, a well-known but eccentric inventor who works under cyrus borg, and wyldstyle, the valiant and cool headed leader of a biker gang with a massive crush on up and coming model mayhem, who just so happens to be her friend and just so happens to not know about the biker gang (also theyre both painfully oblivious, the lesbian curse lives on). together they do a bunch of stupid shit (mostly to hide the fact that emmet is an oni) but theyre trying their best to not let the entire continent die, rooting for em. also in terms of the other minor characters, mayhem is an aspiring model who's been friends with wyldstyle since they met at a clothing store 3 years ago. she's like painfully in love with lucy and considers her very dependable, trustworthy, cool, and pretty. gcbc are a security guard at borg tower and benny's closest confidant (take this as romantic or platonic if you wish it isnt explicit in either direction). they were fast friends after gcbc was hired at borg tower and they usually eat lunch together on work days. finally, metalbeard is a dragon. he's a dragon. im could elaborate on this further but im leaving it at he's a dragon. also also the ninja still exist here but this au is a little canon divergent (it's mostly because I axed some of the minor character elemental masters because i wanted to give their powers to other people)

cape space: this one is a lot simpler, and it's specialspacecops centric (starts as purely coppernauts tho). it's kinda a crack au but basically benny is a super famous aerospace engineer in Cape Space, gcbc are his personal guards turned husbands. emmet moved to cape space because his firm offered him a pretty sick gig helping manufacture rocket parts in Cape Space, however he was not aware that the designer of said rockets and his husbands would take a liking to him and bother him constantly (he warms up to it...eventually).

florist emmet: my child. my beloved au. the one that i pin to my wall and light candles under. im planning on maybeee writing a fic on this so i wont give too much aside from the basic summary away but emmet and the gang live in a quiet seaside town (think like everyone knows everyone) named bricksville where emmet works as a florist. however, this all changes when the foreboding mr. business comes to town and tries to overrun the local economy with his corporate conglomerates. everyone in the town needs to work together to find a way to get mr Business out of their town before their businesses go belly up! the cast is much larger in this one and includes cowtaur emmet, unikitty, owl gcbc, the carpenter bees (jenny benny and denny), albatross metalbeard, weasel vitruvius, dog wyldstyle, and butterfly mayhem (ill give individual details about characters if asked but if i gave them all we'd be here for a while)

merge au: it's literally just the merge in ninjago but if tlm was one of the realms. i can elaborate more but much of it self explanatory (this one is also more canon compliant than oni emmet)

[p8rasite]

PAGTINGIN ˳ CAFFEINE RUSH RIDE !

YN LN, ACTOR UNDER POESIA ENTERTAINMENT. once a rookie, now a well-known face. is a cinnamon roll, has three best friends who will kill you. actually a dog lover but yuehua’s cat was too cute to not make the pfp.

ZHANG YUEHUA, MODEL UNDER JASMINE LAB. makes friends with everyone but those in the same label as her. don’t ask, that’s just how her social skills work. pretty much yn’s work wife atp since they’re almost always by each other’s side.

ZHANG HAO, MODEL UNDER POESIA ENTERTAINMENT. ever since yn set his ringtone to ive’s love dive, he hasn’t changed it. has this habit called i’ll buy it because it’s pretty. looks like he can kill you.. probably will tbh.

SUNG HANBIN, 2ND YEAR TOURISM STUDENT. the advice and caffeine supplier. actually auditioned to be a trainee under poesia ent. and passed, but realized that’s not his dream so he quit. it’s fine, he likes being the sanity that his friends need.

ADORYN, TWT FAN ACC. been there since yn’s second acting gig and has not stopped updating ever since. fan account on top; very dedicated and peaceful (as in you never see them in the fan wars). probably posted a face reveal at some point but it got eaten up by them fawning over the actor.

EP. INDEX. how to twitter for dummies jiwoong 𖦹 masterlist

⠀  ❥  . .  DIRECTOR’S CUT. it’s official! kim jiwoong has finally landed a main role; the breakthrough of his career. but while he and his co-star get along splendidly, is there a possibility that their reel feelings can become real? or shall we say, can their perspectives be shifted—their pagtingin of each other?

⠀  ❥  . .  MAIN LEADS. kim jiwoong x gn! reader

⠀ ❥  . .  AND, ACTION. slice of life, fluff, possible angst, attempted comedy (warnings will be included per chapter).

⠀  ❥  . .  FANBASE. @stealanity @rickyschicky @i520u @taerrrrrae @justemalove @mins-fins @zerobaseonefics @hikarii02 @jinkiseason + send an ASK if you’d like to be added to the taglist!

P8RASITE, 2023. do not steal become i can and will bite. 

[littlegreenplumbob]

People you'd like to get to know better - tag!

i got tagged in a tag by @calicosimgirl 😁😁 which is insane to me bc i consider myself just a little tumblr stalker who occasionally posts piccys of my sims. tysm💚 this is my first tag as im extremely new to actually frequently using tumblr so idk how to do these things so i really hope im right with how i do this

Last song you listened to:

safety pin by 5sos. i am obsessed with those guys<33 ive seen them live in concert once and i cant wait to do it again:)

also! blissful ignorance by foxhaunt. im seeing them at a gig in manchester next month after seeing them around on tiktok and this song? it just perfectly scratches my brain in all the right ways

Favourite colour(s):

green!!!! my irl nickname is littlegreengirl, i have green hair and the majority of my clothes are green. i just think its funky. i also wear a lot of black so i guess that too

Currently watching:

superstore! cant believe i never watched it before. and also the new disney+ percy jackson. i also love bad education, b99 and futurama. i am a chronic watch-till-youre-sick-of-it so anything ive seen before that i can just whack on and know its funny.

Last movie you watched:

percy jackson sea of monsters. ive been rereading the books and reigniting my passion, what can i say (even though i have thallasophobia weirdly)

Sweet/spicy/savoury:

savoury. bc i dont think there is anything better than gherkins 🤩🤩

Last thing you googled:

i think it was ‘average amount of teeth’ bc i was on facetime with my best friend and we fell into a rabbit hole of how many teeth people have. if youre wondering, i have 24 (and that is the least amount of teeth out of everyone ive asked???)

Currently working on:

i havent played my nsb save in a while since im back home from uni atm. i go bsck on sunday so im sure i will be back into sim mode the second i step foot on mancunian ground. ive been really interested in posting lookbooks as well, as soon as i figure out how to take ok quality photos and sort out my cc. but if youre talking physically working, im at work on my break rn and i have been slaying at making those big macs.

i fear i have exposed a lot of myself to some people who do not need to know this much about me. but i guess thats the point!!!! i think tags are very fun and if anyone wants to tag me in future ones, hell yea! lets see what other weird things i can google inbetween now and then

im not sure who else to tag as i mainly only follow cc creators haha - pls dont feel any pressure to respond or anything but id like to make friends on here:)

@mooneonthings @simfestation @fayethegray

[spyder-m]

Zerith - "Sanctuary", Ch. IV preview

A/N: For more previews/updates, check out my Ko-fi.

Sanctuary

Chapter IV - One Time Gig

Cloud's decision, as Zack had quietly hoped, was met with cause to celebrate. 

Tifa was beaming radiantly as he gave her the word, springing to her feet with her hands clasped together. At Zack's side, Cloud rubbed the back of his neck, flushed, but smiling dopily. Despite his bashfulness, he was clearly pleased to have spurned such a response from her. 

In fact, Tifa was overcome by such joy, Zack sensed she was about to move into Cloud’s embrace, once more. This time, however, she caught herself, instead extending a hand toward him; perhaps a gesture she hoped would appear more professional. Zack was tempted, briefly, to ‘accidentally’ knock Cloud off balance, closing the distance between them. He thought better of it, though, feeling it wasn’t the appropriate time.

There would be plenty of chances later to relish in teasing his younger friend.  

To commemorate the good news, Tifa insisted that they stay for dinner. 

Eager, Zack accepted the invitation before Cloud could get a word out, suspecting his friend wouldn't want to intrude. Any urge Cloud had to protest, however, all but disappeared once Tifa shuffled behind the bar, a spring in her step and a smile all the more blinding. 

From their shared table, Biggs, Jessie and Wedge seemed equally delighted for the extra hands, growing all the more excited about proceeding with their next mission, knowing now that they would have the knowledge and strength afforded by two ex-Soldiers in their ranks. 

Zack happily dug into a generous portion of stew, managing to stay well-engaged in the conversation even amidst heaped spoonfuls. Cloud, however, for his part, nursed his own meal in awkward silence, unsure of where to rest his gaze. Having been shy in his younger years, Zack wondered if all the attention and scrutiny he was receiving from the rest of the room was making him uncomfortable. The loud, gregarious voices of their new Avalanche companions must have been overwhelming, not to mention the way their leader was still eying him sceptically. Though Zack seemed to have won Barret over, it looked like he still had some reservations about Cloud. 

It was likely only the presence of Zack and Tifa that was helping to calm the nerves bundling for Cloud.   

Though happy to take part in the celebration, as the night dragged on, Zack suspected it was a convenient excuse for Tifa to keep them; Cloud; around, even if for just a moment longer. 

That much was solidified later when, after they'd eaten their fill, she offered to walk them back to the station, despite knowing they could more than comfortably navigate Sector 7 alone. The gesture almost offended Zack, who couldn't recall Tifa showing him this much hospitality when he had turned up on his own. 

Still, he couldn't be too mad. It was obvious that she wasn't quite ready to part with Cloud yet. 

As they made their way through the Slums together, Zack would catch her, every so often, glancing discreetly in the blond's direction. Though, her cheeks burnt and her eyes dipped whenever she felt Zack's gaze weighing on her. 

Cloud, all the while, didn’t seem to have noticed. 

Being in Tifa's company, made for a stark difference in how they were received by the Midgar locals. People were much friendlier, drawn toward Tifa; who, clearly, was an integral part of the community. Many passersby greeted her with a smile. Some called her by name, while others offered more... colourful greetings. Zack swore he could make out Cloud’s teeth grinding together with each one. 

Still, not wanting them to feel ignored, Tifa did her best to muster up a conversation as they made their way along the Sector’s outskirts. Cloud, however, was far from talkative at the best of times, let alone when tongue-tied by nerves.  

Tifa, however, appeared conscious of this and was careful in her approach; offering occasional, gentle attempts to coax him out of his shell. Unsurprising, given how long they had known each other, Zack guessed.  

“So… Where have you two been staying all this time?”

“The Church in Sector 5,” Zack replied, teasingly, knowing it was Cloud she was hoping to receive an answer from. Though, if he was aggravating her, Tifa hid it well; a polite smile illuminating her features as she continued.

“Oh… Really?” 

“Yep!” Zack exclaimed. “Got the whole attic to ourselves.”

"An attic?" Tifa echoed, her expression slipping and eyes flickering with concern. She looked to Cloud for confirmation, who ducked his head, suddenly ashamed.   

“Hey, don’t knock it ‘til you try it!” Zack laughed with a nudge, a gesture he hoped would ease her worry. “But really, we’ve been wanting to spring for a room at the Inn for a while now. It’s just, most of our gil has gone towards… re-establishing ourselves.”

"I see." Tifa nodded, the answer working to placate her. "Well, if you ever need a place to stay, there’s an apartment building not far from here that has a free room. I know the landlady, so I could work something out if you’re interested.”

That piece of information caught Cloud's attention, as he stopped in place, turning toward Tifa. 

"R- really?" 

Tifa blinked, taken back initially by Cloud suddenly engaging her. Yet, she met him with equal enthusiasm. 

“Yeah! Well... It might be a little cramped for the two of you... there is only one bed. But still, it’s a start.”

Cloud sighed, that momentary spark of hope he’d felt, snuffed out. Though the Church's attic was far from an ideal set-up, they were at least afforded their own space; a marked improvement from the conditions they’d struggled through, travelling cross-country on the road. 

Judging by his reaction it was clear to Zack that Cloud had been hoping to accept Tifa's offer, wanting to be closer to his old friend. Yet, he could hardly justify moving what little they’d established of themselves and their new lives over to an entirely different sector when there wasn’t even enough room for the two of them. 

He couldn't put their comfort behind his own selfish means. That wouldn't be fair. 

Zack, however, felt differently.  

Cloud was someone who, on the surface, appeared withdrawn and distant. Even, at times, snarky. Zack, however, knew better. He knew that, at his core, Cloud was someone steadfast and optimistic, always striving to see the best in others and fighting for what was right. 

These past few weeks, though, Zack worried that that part of him was slipping away. 

He could understand, given the recent, poor fortune their lives had seen. Being discarded by the company you’d worked tirelessly to serve was only bound to fuel one’s inner cynic. 

Still, Zack didn’t want his friend to become so jaded that he lost touch with himself. Not when he’d seen so many others he cared for fall down similarly dark paths.

He wondered if perhaps rekindling his friendship with Tifa more could help him regain a semblance of his old self. 

It seemed counterintuitive for Cloud to deprive himself of something that made him happy. 

At least, in Zack’s mind, it was worth a try. 

Smirking, he clapped Cloud across the back, enough to penetrate the funk covering him. 

"You know what, Spiky, why don't you take her up on that offer? I'm sure I can manage on my own."

Cloud stumbled, enough for Tifa to reach out and help steady him. He held up his hands to reassure her, his cheeks dusted with a flush, before eventually regaining his composure. 

"Zack, what are you talking about?"

To Zack’s surprise, from the way Cloud’s gaze lingered and his eyebrows knit together sharply, he did not seem open to the idea. In fact, he appeared to be giving every silent indication that he was upset.

Zack couldn’t understand. He thought Cloud would have appreciated the chance to be closer to Tifa. His earlier disappointment realising there wouldn’t be enough room for them both to stay clearly suggested as much. There must have been a lot they needed to catch up on still. 

Though, having always harboured insecurities about being a burden and given, Shinra’s recent abandonment, Zack supposed he could understand how Cloud might have found the gesture abrupt, even hurtful. After all the time they’d spent together, he was casting him aside so easily. 

It had been thoughtless of him.

Biting his lip, Zack glanced around. The station was still bustling with life, despite the late hour. It really wasn’t the right place to unpack all of this, but there weren’t really any other options. Glancing helplessly toward the steel sky, Zack sighed.  

"Sorry, Tifa. Do you think we could... have a moment?"

[palettepainter]

I keep meaning to ask you about this: you stated that Anne took in Dr. Teeth when he was really little, and that's led me to believe that Teeth's parents are no longer around. What happened to Dr. Teeth's parents?

Ive been trying to think of a good idea to fill in this gap in the story, but I didn’t wanna make Teeth’s bio parents straight up horrible, who just dumped Teeth’s on Anastasia’s doorstep. I’m still not 100% sure with this idea but here’s a potential explanation:

So Teeth is a rockstar and him and the band often make hasty decisions based on emotions, unlike Kermit they don’t really tend to think things through - Teeth, being the bands leader, sometimes thinks stuff through but more often then not he’d a go with the flow type of character. Teeth’s mum was the same 

I don’t know if I’ll draw her out at any point but I had the idea that Anastasia would name her daughter Melody, since Anastasia and Arthur (her late husband) have always been very musical people. Melody is Anne’s daughter and she too had a very go with the flow attitude. Melody didn’t have magic unlike Anne, but regardless strived for big things and big money out in the world - she’d been cooking up get-rich-quick-schemes since she was 7. She ended up leaving home at 18 and hitting the road for Vegas and then maybe gets a good gig as a singer, where she later down the line meets Teeth’s father. The two where together for a short while, but Melody had big plans for herself and didn’t want to risk a relationship tying her down, so she broke things off

Here enters Teeth (I like the idea he’s actually named Leon or John but I’ll refer to him as Teeth to keep it simple). Melody returns home for a short while with Teeth, to her very surprised but supporting parents. Melody wasn’t a bad parent, just inexperienced and a bit scared, she still had a job back in Vegas and missed the stage - Melody and her parents fell into a routine of Anne and Arthur watching Teeth for a few months, then Melody returning home to see him for a little while, before work would call and she’d be off again. Melody meant the best for Teeth, but she just didn’t really know how to be a good parent, so more often then not ended up leaving him in the care of her own parents who - though loved their lil grandson - where getting tired of Melody disappearing for months on end for work when she had a kid

I imagine after this Anne and Arthur either sit Melody down and have a serious talk with her about Teeth. Melody ending up more tearful then she thought but ultimately agreeing that Anastasia and Arthur would take care of Teeth, Melody sends Anastasia and Arthur a cutt of the money she gets to help with the care and she makes time to visit when she can (she missed Teeth more then she thought she would) before she eventually passes 

Or - this one is unlikely to actually be cannon cuz it’s kinda dark - Melody gets into some kind of accident while in Vegas and Anastasia and Arthur take their grandson in 

[bibbawrites]

Counting 1, 2, 3 - Luke Patterson x Carrie Wilson x Reader (18+) (Modern!AU)

Request: nothing in particular but its been a long time coming 

Word Count: 848 words

Summary: When Carrie convinced you to go see her brother’s band play you never knew you would end up sleeping with your best friend and the lead singer, but boy are you glad it happened

Warnings: swearing, semi public blow job, implied sex, threesome 

A/N: this is probably the worst thing ive ever written, i just could not get myself to write it, so i apologise for how shit it is, but i just havent posted anything for so long i felt guilty so heres this :)

Tag List: @happinessinthedarkesttimes @herbrutals @youngbloodblog @courageous-she @littlemissaddict @gloomybrieyxb @itsyagorlemmalyn @jatpxmultifan @moneybagmgk @emeliii1 @mybradforddream @lovesanimals (the strike through means it wont let me tag you)

It had all started when Carrie had invited you to see her twin brother Bobby and his band play a gig at a local bar. You had been hesitant to go but went along to support your best friend’s brother. 

If you had known that the night would end with you hooking up with your best friend and the lead singer of Bobby’s band, then you probably would have worn nicer underwear. 

- 

You weren’t even sure how it had happened. One minute you were at the bar, flirting with the lead singer, Luke he had said his name was, and the next you were locking yourselves in a toilet cubical, thankful for the fact that the bar had unisex toilets with floor to ceiling walls and doors on the stalls. 

Luke’s lips were everywhere, his hips grinding against yours as you ran your hands through his hair, not even caring about someone catching you. All you could care about was the singer. 

You pushed Luke away, pulling your dress down to reveal your naked breasts, thankful that your dress had included a built in bra. Luke’s eyes lit up, his lips instantly attaching themselves to one of your nipples, causing you to moan loudly. 

Your legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer, while your hands roamed his body underneath his sleeveless shirt. His hands rested on your hips, pushing your dress up to reveal your panties. 

“Can you take this off?” He questioned, fingers brushing against your panties. You smirked. 

“Only if you take yours off too.” You teased, and he grinned, pulling his pants down to reveal his hard dick. You wrapped a hand around him, jerking a couple of times, enjoying the gasp he let out. He pulled you back in, connecting your lips again, and you were so distracted you didn’t even hear the door opening. 

“Y/N, are you in here?” Carrie’s voice called, and you froze, eyes widening. 

“What do we do?” Luke whispered. You signaled for him to be quiet. 

“Y/N?” Carrie called again. “I know you came in here.” 

You bit your lip, remembering the code you and Carrie had come up with for when you wanted to subtly let the other know you were hooking up with someone. 

“Watermelon.” You said, just loud enough that you knew she would be able to hear. 

“Watermel- oh...” She trailed off, clearly understanding. Then after a pause, she spoke again. “Can I join?” 

Before you could even react Luke was unlocking the door and pulling Carrie in, locking the door again behind her. Her eyes widened as she took in the other occupant of the cubical. 

“Oh no.” She said quickly. “My brother would kill me if I hooked up with his bandmate.” 

“What Bobby doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” Luke’s voice was low, pulling Carrie close to him, and with a small nod of consent from Carrie, the guitarist was connecting their lips in a passionate kiss. 

“It’s kinda cramped now.” You observed. Carrie and Luke broke their kiss, both focusing on you. 

“We’ll improvise.” Luke decided, his gaze flicking between you and Carrie. “Do you hook up with people together often?” 

“More often than you’d think.” You giggled. “And sometimes just the two of us.” 

“Fuck.” Luke whispered. You glanced towards Carrie, eyes scanning her body. 

“I think you’re a bit too dressed baby.” You said softly, and she gave you a cheeky grin before stripping off her bralette and hiking up her skirt so that she had the same amount of skin on show as you did. Not wanting to be left out, Luke pulled his shirt over his head, dropping it onto the closed toilet lid. Carrie reached across, placing her bralette on top of his shirt, and a comfortable silence fell over the three of you as you tried to decide who would make the next move. 

In the end it was you, dropping to your knees and taking Luke’s dick into your mouth, tongue lapping at the tip. He moaned loudly before Carrie pulled him into a rough kiss, swallowing his moans as you continued to suck him off. 

You took a deep breath before shifting to allow him to slide further into your mouth and down your throat, breathing through your nose to stop from gagging as he thrusted into your throat. 

“God Y/N.” He gasped. 

You hummed, feeling his dick twitch in your mouth at the vibration, and Luke swore loudly. 

“I’m gonna cum.” He gasped out. You deep throated him again, a hand coming up to cup his balls, and swallowed when he came down your throat a few moments later. 

You pulled off his dick, letting him drag you up into a rough kiss, and watching as Carrie kissed you, licking into your mouth to taste his cum. 

“We should take this back to my place.” You mumbled after you and Carrie separated. “My parent’s aren’t home.” 

Luke and Carrie were quick to agree and in only a few minutes you were sneaking out of the bar, knowing that the night was far from over. 

[juchumice]

ive been thinking abt this avatar au for SO LONG!! i know some other exists but i still really wanted to put my spin on it and make them younger so it could be a bit more contextually different, so they’re roughly 14 during the au!

AIZAWA: aizawa’s a waterbender from the northern water tribe. initially, many believed he was a nonbender as it took quite awhile longer for his bending to reveal itself than the other children. he has zero talent concerning waterbending, none at all. in fact, he was absolutely terrible at it initially. but, if there was one thing he was certain about in youth, it was being an excellent waterbender. when first applying to waterbending classes, he was considered far too inexperienced to join. the instructor was a stern type. he told aizawa that he had, “no potential,” and should focus less on waterbending and more on hand to hand combat to waste less time. instead of listening, aizawa practiced terribly. everyday, every moment, he would be waterbending from dusk to dawn till he stumbled from lack of sleep. he even founded his own method, drenching his scarf of spongey material in water and bending it as a weapon. after further practice, he finally got accepted into the course with pure hard work. the issue was that everyone in his class was younger than him, talented and brilliant. none of them worked as hard as he did. they all were children just playing around. as the bending moves increased in difficulty, aizawa began to fall behind again, so his whole day would be absolutely swallowed in practice, practice, and practice. he would be beaten constantly by his peers: during spars, general displays of moves, and learning, so he couldn’t rely on his own power, instead focusing on strength in addition to strategy and observation. it was this adjustment of tactics that led him higher in his studies. he was able to graduate the minor classes, but his instructor thought it was best to get more experience in bending rather than continually relying on his other strengths, so he was sent away from home to study abroad among the other kingdoms and view their bending techniques.

YAMADA: yamada is an air nomad, but he is one of the very few who does not appear to be capable of bending. due to the spiritual nature of the air nomads, there are very few who are unable to airbend, and yamada is one of them. but, everyone else was very supportive even without his bending. he was able to have many friends, however couldn’t join in their air bending games. that’s where he learned his talent for announcing. as the other kids would play their games of air ball and pie toss, he’ll be there on the sidelines, narrating every single thing with his peculiar flare that led to his popularity among the northern air temple. though, even with everyone’s supportive nature, yamada was unhappy with his position. ever since he was but a toddler, he really wanted to be an airbender, streaking across the sky on a glider and riding on air scooters, only to be sorely disappointed. sure, he was able to ‘fly’ with his flying bison’s, baito’s, help but it just wasn’t the same. after a bit, he ran from the northern air temple, sick and tired of living in such a small space. with far too many fantasies on his mind, yamada wished to explore the other nations. it was then he stumbled across the fire nation. they were fascinating. their own fierce power, their sense of fashion, their culture, everything drew yamada closer. he would watch their shows with undisguised excitement, even announcing for a couple of them. while announcing for one of the firebender shows, yamada was required to choose a volunteer from the crowd, which just happened to be aizawa. this led to the beginning of their interactions.

so that’s it i guess! my main ideas for the avatar au! yamada has a glider, but he uh... stole it. just carries it around a lot to ‘feel like an airbender’-- and it’s a great umbrella when it rains!

the au itself takes place before the 100 year war so no worries abt any firebenders just yet!! i might develop it more but this is where its at so farrr

also i wrote a lil small thing while i was playin with the idea: 

...

“You know… I always wanted to bend,” Yamada said. He kicked up the dust with a shoe, frowning at the cloud that billowed around his feet as if it could disappear with a simple scrutinizing look. But, it didn’t. Merely floated to and fro without a care of his whims. 

Aizawa examined him carefully. There was no sound made, just an invitation to continue.

Yamada blew at several pieces of hair that loosened from his bush that he called a hairstyle. “Yeah. Sounds ‘crazy’! But, it made total sense! Look, look, look, I would be an EPIC airbender. You have to admit. I mean, look how cool my poses are!” He proceeded to strike several different ‘airbending poses’ that neither suggested coolness nor airbending. 

“You’ve watched too many firebending shows,” Aizawa replied. 

“But that’s what makes it so cool! The fire just exploding into the sky like Pompeii, but you can only see these red sparkles and nothing goes wrong… Imagine doing that… Imagine…” He chuckled mirthlessly. “Being a bender must be fun, huh…” His staff loosened from his fingers to slide and clatter to the floor. “Don’t even use this DUMB thing! I dunno why I keep it all the time… Maybe, oh! Maybe every time I hold it I get a 1% increase in being an airbender or something! Yeah… tough luck. You know? You know how stupid it is when EVERYONE in the temple’s an airbender and you’re stuck being the only kid around-- believe me they’re all super nice about it-- BUT ME?? THE ONLY ONE!! Don’t feel bad for me or I’ll strangle you or something, but it still freaking sucks. Man, air scooters? I totally would’ve invented those if I was an airbender…”

On and on he jabbered. He could have done this if he was an airbender, or maybe he could have done this!  Aizawa was unsure what to respond with. He never understood. Sure, he understood hardship and running raggedly through the critics and holding one’s goals to heart. A waterbender who couldn’t bend water for crap? That’s what they called him, might as well give up they had said, but he powered through and became skilled with pure hard work. No luck, no cheats, and no talent. Yamada was the opposite case, full of supporting faces and ancient smiles, but just no bending in general. How could someone so hopeful be met with such a grisly fate? Yet, all that Aizawa could offer was a tongue-in-cheek, “Sorry.” 

Yamada stopped talking abruptly. “Huh?”

“I said sorry.”

“Oh. Yeah. Don’t say sorry, man! What’s the fun in that, too gloomy Aizawa, waaaay too gloomy. Y’know, it is what it is! I got a sweet gig going on anyway, I don’t need anything as stupid as airbending. Only saps use airbending, they probably think it’s cool or something, but it isn’t haha. Waterbending, firebending, earthbending, that stuff’s cool! Airbending’s just some playing around with wind or something.”

[random-imagines-blog]

Sideways {Andrew Garfield x Reader}

Requested by: Anonymous Wordcount: 1811 Summary: Andrew gets a call that no one wants to get. Especially from their own child. Warning: Contains hospital, miscarriage and talk of pregnancy.

The best part about your job was that you could do a lot of it online, and could travel with Andrew when he went abroad for his different acting gigs. This was one of the last times that you would be able to go, since it was the Summer and your daughter was going into first grade, and you wanted to keep her in one place to keep her adjusted. Still, he was going to appreciate all that he could get. And every minute that he wasn’t needed on set, he was going to take you and your child together to go and explore. He’d been here in Vancouver before, but you hadn’t, and he was eager to show you what he had learned about on his last trip here. But for now, he was stuck in the studio, getting fitted for one of the ‘special’ outfits that he was going to be wearing for this film.

He was laughing with the wardrobe stylist, joking about something that happened with the director on the first day here. They had pranked him by bringing in a bunch of extras and announcing them as the main cast. The director had sputtered, and not wanting to be rude, had to excuse himself to make ‘script adjustments’. Once he had realized that it was all a prank, he saw the funny side, and all tension and nerves around the team had dissipated. Andrew had been in on it and thought that it was hilarious, especially since he had been dressed as one of the camera-crew. Best acting he had ever done, the director had said to him.

“There’s a call for you, Mr Garfield,” His assistant said, popping up beside him. She was a small, older woman with a very no-nonsense air about her. She hadn’t appreciated the prank, because it meant that she missed out on a few hours of work. “It’s urgent.”

“It is?” Andrew asked, wondering who it could be. You only texted him during work hours, and he’d give you a call at lunch once in a while, otherwise he would wait to tell you about his day once he got home. That way his little girl could listen in and chime in whenever she wanted as well. “Excuse me,” He told the woman who was measuring his shoulders to make an adjustment to the suit. She nodded, and helped him to remove what he had on of the costume, then he changed quickly then finally accepted the phone from his assistant.

“This is Andrew,” He said, just in case it was an urgent professional call. He could hear a commotion coming from the other end of the line. There were men talking, and then a loud siren. Ambulance, not fire truck or police. He knew the difference, having always stayed in hotels in busy cities.

“Daddy?” The six-year-olds voice came through, and Andrew felt his heart sink from his chest down to his knees. He looked at his assistant who looked more solemn than usual. And maybe even a little bit concerned. “Daddy - it’s Mommy.”

“What’s wrong with mommy? Tell me everything - and where are you going?” He took his wallet and keys from his assistant, who had been holding onto them during the fittings.

“Where are we going?” Andrew heard her ask someone, and a man said something in response. “Vancouver General,” The little girl repeated.

“I’ll meet you there, okay? Stay with one of the paramedics until Daddy gets there. I won’t be long.”

-

It took him half an hour to get to the hospital, and that was with light traffic. He cursed the studio for being so far away, but he knew it was just the stress. His daughter wasn’t able to give him much information, just that you had been in the bathroom, crying in pain, and then told the little girl to call 911. They had taught her the emergency number for every country that they stayed in, just in case. It was good that she knew, but he hated that she had to use it.

You had been feeling fine that morning, he recalled. You went to the hotel restaurant for breakfast, had a simple meal of oatmeal and fruits. He was thinking that perhaps you had food poisoning of some sort? He hoped it was something as simple as that, though you wouldn’t have called 911 over something so trivial.

He parked, then ran into the first entrance that he could find. It was emergency, and they gave him directions to the fourth floor. He noticed from the signs around the elevator that it was to ... to a pregnancy floor?

He saw his daughter first, sitting on a bench, reading a book, swinging her legs back and forth since they weren’t reaching the ground. There was a paramedic sitting with her, but not saying anything. Just keeping an eye on her, which Andrew was thankful for. His footsteps brought their attention, and the little girl jumped to her feet. She had been crying, Andrew could tell from the puffiness of her cheeks. She ran towards him, and he leaned down to catch her in a hug. “Daddy! I called just like you taught me to!” She pulled your phone out of her pocket, it looked so massive in her little hands, and she held it up to show you.

He knew the password, there were no secrets between you two. You knew his as well, but neither of you ever went snooping. In fact, this was the first time that he had used it. He saw indeed that your first call of the day was to work, and then 911, and then to him. He turned the phone dark and put it into his own pocket. He scooped up the girl and held her in his arms in a giant bear hug. He looked at the paramedic over her shoulder, took a step towards him and held his hand out. “Thank you so much for staying with her-”

“It’s no problem,” He said, getting to his own feet. “We had to resupply the ambo anyway. And - the doctor said that your wife was stable. I’m sure she’ll be out soon.” He shook Andrew’s hand then excused himself to go back to work, and Andrew sunk down on the recently vacated spot on the bench, still holding his daughter on his lap. There wasn’t much that he could do except for wait for the Doctor, which didn’t take long. The commotion that your daughter made had gotten their attention.

“Hello, Mr. Garfield?” The Doctor said, coming out of the room. She reminded Andrew a lot of his assistant. Same motherly face, same solemn features. Andrew nodded to the affirmative. “Your wife is going to be just fine, though her body had gone through some trauma. She’s going to need to rest, take it easy for a couple of weeks at least.”

“What happened?” He asked, his voice shaky with relief that you were going to be fine. Still, this had seemed to come out of nowhere. And the fact that you were in the pregnancy wing made him nervous.

“Your wife had a miscarriage, Mr. Garfield. She was three months along,” The Doctor’s voice was straight to the point, no emotions at all. She must have to deliver news like this all of the time. “She claims that she didn’t know that she was pregnant, so she is feeling rather fragile. I’d like to keep her for overnight observation, just to be careful.”

Andrew swallowed, but nodded. There wasn’t any other reaction that he felt like he could have. He could only hug his daughter close, thankful that at the very least, he had her. “Can I see her?” He asked the Doctor, who nodded, and motioned towards the open door that she had just come out of. Andrew got back up to his feet, and walked in, still holding his daughter, who was being unusually quiet. He realized as he walked into the room that she had fallen asleep.

You hadn’t, however. You were laying in the hospital bed, hooked up to machines, getting fluids, staring straight ahead of you blankly. Andrew hummed to announce that he was there, and you snapped out of it, your eyes meeting his. They were still filled with tears on your end, while he was still comprehending the news.

“Hey baby,” You said, weakly smiling. Andrew smiled back, and set the little girl down on a chair, where she curled up immediately and continued to sleep away. All that worry and excitement must have exhausted her. He then went to your side, taking hold of both your hands, being careful of the IVs.

“How -” He said, shaking his head. “How did this happen?”

“I don’t know,” You said, blinking away tears. “I didn’t even know I was pregnant. I swear, I wasn’t keeping anything from you. I had my period and no other symptoms. I mean, I thought I gained a little bit of weight but I thought that was just all of the cake,” You somehow managed to laugh though it didn’t sound sincere. “The Doctor says that happens sometimes.”

Andrew would never dream of accusing you of cheating. The two of you stayed in the newlywed stage of your marriage, remaining sexually active. The math added up enough, three months, you two were definitely intimate three months ago.

“How do you feel?” Andrew asked, caressing the top of your hands with his thumbs. “And not just physically.”

You took a deep breath in and then a deep breath out. “I’m devastated,” You admitted, finally admitting your own truth. Tears were fighting to come out and you had stopped the battle, letting them descend freely. “When I heard that I miscarried - I realized... I want that baby. I want to have another one with you and we just lost our chance.”

Andrew felt the same wave of depression overcome him. In an alternate universe, he could just be finding out that he was going to be a father again. He had to be strong for you though. He could let out his emotions when you got home. You were too vulnerable right now.

“We’ll have more chances,” Andrew said, leaning forward and kissed a tear off of your cheek. It tasted salty, it lasting on his lips for a long while. “I’ll gladly give you another baby.”

You chuckled at that, though you were still crying. “You just like the act of making one, mister,” You squeezed his hands. Andrew laughed as well, and nodded.

“Can you blame me?”

[writingsfromhome]

Nuclear Family V

Part Five: Some Things Never Change

A/N: I’ve reread and rewrote and finally wrapped this up! It got really long because I didn’t want to drag it into another part, but I did include an epilogue--I couldn’t help myself. Hope it lives up to the expectations! And thank you x100000 again for reading along <3

Part I / Part II / Part III / Part IV / Part V

---------------

The next morning, we sit down together and soothe Charlie's worries. Harry holds my hand at one point and we play the best acting gig either of us have ever played as we pretend there's not a ginormous unspoken trilogy between us. Charlie's tentative at first, but when Harry pulls her onto his knee and whispers something to her. She breaks into a giggle and hugs him. At least that was patched over, I think. But when Harry meets my eyes over her head, I look away. Some things might never be patched over.

I’d set up a play date this morning, thinking Charlie might have needed a distraction. It also gave me time to pack our things without her to distract me or feel the emotional baggage I was packing up too.

I had planned to find an air bnb, waking up at 7am to start searching. But when I updated Marc after he asked what I was doing that evening, he insisted we stayed with him. We’d lived together before, and he was almost always at work, so it gave us enough space.The best part was he lived in the same building as Harry; it was almost too perfect, and when I’d asked Charlie she was totally on board. Spending time with Marc while being able to take the elevator to see her dad sounded just sounded like her play place had expanded.

After Charlie leaves, and I’m almost done packing, I look for Harry to talk. I find him toweling his hair after his shower. He had to head out for shooting today so I needed to speak to him before he left or else he would think I slighted him. He notices me in the foggy mirror and turns, and I try not to find the towel tied around his waist distracting.

“Hey, so...I’ll be out of your hair today...no pun intended.” I laugh lamely after he continues to stare at me blankly. Okay, maybe his towel was more distracting than I’d like to admit. And this was an awkward conversation when we had so many unspoken things between us. “Um, so I found other accommodations finally. So we’ll move out and it’ll be like we planned initially?”

“Huh?” Harry freezes, arms in midair.

“I don’t know why it took me this long to find another place,” I blabber on. “But I think yesterday was kind of a wake up call? I shouldn’t have stayed this long anyway and-”

“Wait, Y/N, stop. You’re leaving?”

“Just the flat,” I finally look at him, he looks stony. “We’ll actually just be a few floors down staying with Marc, so it’s kind of perfect.”

“Marc?” A flame lights itself in his eyes, usually the colour of a spring field, they’ve now turned into a field of ashes as he realises what I’m saying. “You’re moving out? To Marc’s? Because of yesterday?”

“Yes, that’s what I just said.” I try to remain calm, but it’s hard when he’s acting like this. “Harry, yesterday just made me realise I’d lost sight of the horizon or whatever. We were never supposed to live with you for this reason! We knew when we planned this that it would complicate things. I was just so obsessed with making Charlie’s birthday perfect I didn’t look for anywhere else, and her birthday was basically disastrous so that was useless. Now you can live freely, Miranda can come and go-”

“Oh and living with Marc won’t confuse Charlie?” Harry demands.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I think you know exactly what that mean Y/N. You’re being a bloody hypocrite-”

“What?!” I can’t keep the calm anymore. “I’m a hypocrite?”

“Yes! You! You think Charlie seeing Miranda and me together would confuse her yet you’re taking her to your boyfriend’s house-”

“Who said anything about my boyfriend--and how dare you sound so judgemental about that! Sorry I didn’t get the memo; Harry can have a girlfriend but Y/N can’t! She’s got to be the single virgin mother all by herself!”

“That’s not what I said!”

“No, I think it’s what you were trying to say! Being so fucking judgemental about my love life. This isn’t my fault! I’m not asking you shit, Harry!”

“What the fuck Y/N!” Harry whips the towel he was using for his hair onto the ground. My heart beats erratically in my chest; the last time we fought like this it was because I’d told him I was pregnant and it had ended really ugly. But the way he got under my skin, as hard as I wanted to be the mature one, I couldn’t. “You don’t have to be so bloody sarcastic all the time! I just don’t understand how living with Marc will be any better!”

“Marc’s barely every home, and he’s lived with us before, it’s worked out fine. Charlie adores him-”

“Oh yeah I bet she does! You would’ve loved it if Marc was her father yeah? He’s always had a thing for you, even when we were together. Now’s your chance to be a perfect little family with Marc!”

“I did not say that, don’t put words in my mouth-”

“Oh, but I think that’s what you were trying to say,” Harry mocks me. He’s a ball of rage as he stalks towards me. “I don’t understand your obsession with this guy and why he’s so close to Charlie!”

“You know Marc! We’ve been friends with him for-wait why am I defending myself? This isn’t about that!”

“Well I think it should be!”

“Where are you going with this Harry?!” I shout, putting my hands out to his chest as he continues walking towards me, as if maybe I could shield myself from his growing fury. “I don’t want to fight! I’m just trying to do what’s best for Charlie. And for us.” 

We stare at each other, uncomfortably close, chests heaving as the fire crackles low.

“Well, too late for that.” He says, but the snark is gone. “I’ve finally got Charlie living with me and you’re taking her away.”

“I-I’m not taking her away.” My voice rises immediately. “Don’t you dare say I’m taking her away!”

“You are!” He says stubbornly.

“What the fuck do you expect? You want me to stick around so it’s you, me, and Charlie? You want me to stay here and be miserable, have our kid be confused about what’s going on with who?”

“I don’t want you to be miserable, I just want us in one place!”

“We’re not this perfect little nuclear family you have in your head! We can’t be!”

“Not when you’re bringing the nuclear into the family,” Harry mutters immaturely.

“Oh my god, what’s wrong with you?!” I want to pull my hair out.

“What’s wrong with me is you’re taking away my daughter from me!”

My blood was just boiling now. I get in his face, “Harry, do you not remember that you never wanted us? You had the option to stay with me, while I was pregnant with Charlie. You had the option to hold your daughter the day she was born. You could’ve had all of it. Every step of the way! You chose not to, you let me go, you-you told me I could go...” I break off suddenly, so I didn’t sob as the memories rush back. I told everyone I was over it, I had processed it. But when Harry rejected me, he also rejected Charlie and I never got over that.

Harry hears my breath hitch, he backs away from my outstretched hands and I let them drop.

After a heavy silence, Harry speaks up: “Y/N I’m sorry. I heard what you said yesterday. I was up all night just thinking about it...”

“Well that’s wonderful for me,” I retreat into the comfort of sarcasm.

“No--you were right, I didn’t want commitment. I was bloody afraid of it. I was listening to everyone who said if I had a kid, my career would be over. I wanted to stay young, and I just let you deal with it by yourself. I was selfish and I wish I could go back and change everything.”

“Well that’s not much help now; you never once said any of this to me! You moved on--don’t deny it. I saw you in the tabloids, the media. You don’t think I kept track of you? I loved you! You’re the father of my kid, and while I was up on less than an hour of sleep trying to get your 2 month old to stop crying at 3am, you were out partying with models and getting smashed.”

“I couldn’t-I just spiraled-”

“Well it’s nice that your spiraling looks so much like partyingl” I roll my eyes. “Mine looked like crying in the bathtub with my ears ringing, and covered in baby vomit.” I cross my arms. I had held it in for four long years, it was about time I snapped, and I guess this was it.

“Y/N.” he turns away from me, rubbing his face. When he turns around, his heart is on his sleeve. “There were so many times I would pick up my phone and type in your number, just to hear your voice. Just to ask you about Charlie--it ripped me apart that I wasn’t there. That you weren’t here, with Charlie. You’d send me pictures of her and I would get so excited to see what she was up to, what new thing she learned...”

He breaks off, his face now shining with tears. He walks up to me and holds my hands, my heart tugs and I know I’m crying too. “Y/N when I held her for the first time when she was a few months old, and she looked up at me and smiled. I didn’t even know I could love like that. So I changed Y/N--tell me you saw me doing anything reckless after that first visit. I made sure I grew up so I could always be there for her. And you. But you never talked to me. You were always so cold to me and I was scared to break the ice. So I just let you raise her without me, not realising what I was missing out on. I fucking missed all of it because I was just trying find the perfect words to get this off my chest and I never found them.”

“Harry-” I sigh. “You could’ve tried. But...you moved on though. You have a girlfriend-”

“I had to try to move on,” he explains urgently. “You barely spoke to me. I’d ask how you are and you wouldn’t always reply, our texts were only about Charlie. You never invited me over when I was in LA. I thought you didn’t care about me so I had to move on, and the way we ended things I didn’t blame you! I let you know I would be there for Charlie--but I had to move on because I didn’t think we would ever have another shot.”

“I didn’t know what to say to you when you came over Harry. The way we left things before I moved back home, It was awful.” I whisper. The words he’d said, the things I said, the broken glass and just hours of fighting. Then the panic attacks and crippling fear of not knowing what I was doing with my life. It was easy to let it harden you, rather than invite it back in.

“The way I let you leave...was awful.” He agrees. “So I’m asking you now to stay Y/N.”

“And do what?” I ask, didn’t he get it? “Sit around while your girlfriend is over all the time, have her pop in with her own key while I’m only just woken up looking like a troll? Let you kiss me in the dark when she’s not around? Have her ignore me like I’m not even there?”

Harry has the decency to look embarrassed, dropping my arms. He sighs, and looks at me with regret. “This is balls up.”

“Yeah, I know Harry. That’s why I’m finding other accommodations.”

“I don’t like it’s with Marc.”

“I don’t care Harry, you don’t have any say over who I stay with.”

“But Charlie-”

“She can stay with you when she wants,” I agree. “I know you’ve got a shoot all week so it’s a good week to be out.”

“I like coming home to you two.”

“Harry,” I warn him. He couldn’t afford to speak like this when he had a girlfriend. I didn’t want to fall for him again. He made it hard not to.

“I don’t like it but I can’t stop you.” He concedes, arms crossed over his chest. I skim over the bare flesh, taking in the ink that Charlie loved to ask a million questions about. He notices me looking and I catch the cocky grin on his face.

“I’m looking at the ink,” I say, even though I didn’t have to defend myself.

“I know,” he shrugs but the grin stays on his face. I roll my eyes and head back to finish packing but he pulls me back to him and suffocates me against his bare chest. “I’m sorry, for then. For now. Forever.”

He lets me go but he keeps his arms around my waist. I look up at him and for the first time in a long time, I see my old Styles. Confident, determined, and a little cocky. The one I fell hard for.

“Noted,” I say, not giving in this easily, I still had to process this whole conversation and figure out what this thing between Harry and I meant.

A low chuckle bursts out from him as he stares down at me. “I miss you,” he says.

“I’m right here,” I say, stepping back so he lets me go. I leave him with a smile on his face, not ignoring the way he said he misses me. Without even realising it, my feelings of resentment had begun to slip away. But I still knew space would be best for both of us.

***

It’s Thursday evening, Charlie was with Harry having dinner at his mum’s place. Marc’s edition is officially in printing and he’s home at a decent enough hour that I put aside my work and share a glass of wine with him.

“Sounds intense,” Marc says to me after I give him the details of mine and Harry’s fight. Since then, we’d have breakfast as a family once but I did text him beyond just talking about Charlie. Pictures, memes, old memories, the occasional pointless text. It was sort of nice having him in my life again.

Charlie was going to work with him tomorrow, and she was so excited about that. It gave me time for alone time, and to catch up with Marc.

“It was intense, it felt like the old Y/N and Harry.”

“Uh oh. I don’t miss them,” Marc huffs. “You’re a lot nicer now, and he’s not as much of a cocky bastard anymore.”

“Wow, tell me how you really feel.” I tease. But he was right, back then I was young and sassy and I wasn’t afraid to let the world know. Marc and I had met when he reached out to me to write an article for his magazine and it was a coincidence that Marc and Harry knew each other from cover shoots. Marc used to be a photographer.

“I like this Y/N better,” Marc leans into me, his voice deepening. “She’s kind and strong and gorgeous, and the best part is she lets me kiss her.”

He pauses in front of my face and I lean the rest of the way in to let him know he could. That’s all the signal he needs. Our drinks abandoned, we quickly move into the bedroom and I can’t believe I forgot how good it felt to be wanted like this.

***

The next time I’m in Harry’s flat, I’m picking Charlie up. She stayed with him, but Miranda had surprised him by showing up early right after her flight landed. His short text made me get up there right away, after what happened the last time Charlie saw Harry and Miranda together, I wasn’t sure if she would misbehave.

But oddly, she’s mostly quiet.

“Did you have fun?” I ask Charlie, as she eats her cereal slowly. Her back is to the hall Harry stands in and it was a good thing as Miranda drapes herself across him. Unfortunately, I had to see it; I guess she got the memo that Charlie knew what was going on, and she was okay with it--or as okay as a four year old could be.

“It was so cool mom,” Charlie says. “There was so many rooms and one was space! It had the moon and there was a castle and they made the explosion sound and...” Charlie explains in no sensible order everything she saw at the studio, and I listen to her spill out her excitement but every so often my eyes drift to where Miranda shamelessly reunites with Harry. It makes my stomach turn. Especially after the conversation we had. I wasn’t an idiot, I knew Harry wasn’t going to rearrange his whole life because we’d finally had the Talk about what happened between us all those years ago. It was just watching them, and knowing that that was Harry moving on. From me...when I never fully moved on from him. It was pathetic, I know.

“Have you had coffee yet?” Harry asks a little while later after he’s unhooked Miranda’s claws from him and made his way to the kitchen. Charlie is slowing down her speech but when Harry appears she launches into more questions about set and when his “movie” would come out (it was a music video).

“No, I saw your text as soon as I woke up.” I say, between Charlie’s breaths. IT seemed she was going to be a while. “I could use a cup.”

“I heard you’re staying with Marc,” Miranda suddenly comes up and sits at the table, addressing me. “He’s a nice guy, I’ve worked with him in the past. Easy on the eyes too.”

“I’m right here,” Harry holds up my empty cup and looks pointedly at her. She winks and I nearly vomit.

I smile instead, “Yeah. He’s a really good friend, and Charlie loves him. And he lives downstairs so it worked out really well.”

“Yeah,” she smiles. This was the most she’s said to me since she got here. I watch as she glances at Harry who’s making my coffee the way I like it. “I heard you two are really good friends.”

Yeah...” I didn’t like what she was insinuating. I look up at Harry but he’s suddenly very interested in the sugar. “I can do that.” I grab it from him and make sure to glare at him as he passes it to me.

“We should do like, a double date.” She suggests. “Harry, don’t you think that would be fun? You and me, Y/N and Marc?”

“What about me?” Charlie pouts.

“You and Gemma!” Harry looks at me. “I forgot to mention, Gemma wanted to take Charlie out, spend some time with her while she was in London.”

“Perfect!” Miranda sounds almost too excited. It makes me suspicious.

***

When I tell Marc about the double date, he’s more than eager to attend. I know he just wanted to annoy Harry. I was nervous what this all meant.

But somehow I find myself standing with Marc in front of the restaurant while I try to prepare myself for whatever the evening held for us. Marc eventually just grabs my hand, winks, and pulls me in even though I wanted to just stay outside for a bit longer. Maybe a lot longer. Maybe just never go in.

As dinner goes on, things grow more and more awkward. Miranda is chatting up Marc about their old shoots, Harry grows more irritated as Marc receives all the attention, and his eyes track Marc’s hand any time it’s near me. I knock back my wine, as does Harry. Miranda continues to chat up Marc, and I inhale the food when it finally comes simply because the whole situation was stressful.

“The food’s good here,” I comment but only Harry hears me over the other conversation at the table.

“I always wanted to take you here,” Harry comments. “It has the best victoria sponge I’ve ever had.”

“You know I hate victoria sponge,” I scrunch my nose.

“I know!” Harry laughs which seems to get the table’s attention. His laugh usually did, as I’ve said. “That’s why you have to try it, you’ll finally like it.”

“Like what?” Marc asks.

“Victoria sponge,” I cringe visibly which makes him laugh.

“I think she loves cheesecake too much, right?” I know Marc is remembering the night I came to his house after a big fight with Harry, he’d bought a cheesecake for his then-girlfriend but I’d cried into it and finished the whole thing in one sitting. He’d had to improvise with cupcakes the next day. I still feel bad about that.

“Y/N is a cheesecake fanatic,” Harry says a little aggressively.

“Cheesecake’s way too fattening,” Miranda says absentmindedly, not realising what she was implying.

When the table grows awkwardly silent, Harry tries to come to her rescue. “That’s when you know it’s good food.”

“Touche,” I tip my glass just to have an excuse to have something to do and...well, drink.

At the end of the night, Harry asks if we want to go back to his place. I say no as Marc says yes and because he had the louder voice that’s what we do. I shoot him a dirty look but he only winks at me. He was having way too much fun.

Harry excuses himself and joins us in the Uber late. In his hands is a box with victoria sponge.

***

“Do you think he knows I’m not your boyfriend?” Marc asks later that night. We’d drank another bottle of wine and everyone was a bit more...vocal than before. What started out as fun stories from our younger days, quickly turns into passive aggressive comments as Harry stared a hole at Marc’s hand on my thigh, and Miranda stared at Harry staring at Marc’s hand on my thigh. She’d asked to speak to him midway through and now they were arguing in another room where every so often we caught some of their argument.

“You can’t even take your eyes off..............a bloody cake? You didn’t even think to.........I don’t get it!” That was Miranda.

“Thinking too much..........stop........of course I love you.......Charlie’s mom!” and that was Harry.

“I just knew this dinner would go like this,” Miranda says loudly.

“So you’re testing me now?” 

“Yes Harry, that’s obvious isn’t it Y/N?” Marc comments beside me.

“You’re having too much fun,” I lean my head back and sigh against the headrest.

“I have a stressful job, I don’t go out often. Can you blame me for being mildly entertained here?”

“Ugh...yeah okay me too.” I look over at him and he laughs. I hated the tension it was causing between Harry and I but I couldn’t help the small petty satisfaction of showing Miranda up after she tried to steal the show at dinner tonight. “What happened to the flight attendant you were seeing?”

“She took a flight out of London and never called me back?”

“Poor you,” I pat his shoulder. “We’re just not cut out for relationships are we?”

Marc shakes his head solemnly. I sigh, the alcohol making me more melodramatic than I was. “We’re finding my ex and his girlfriend arguing, entertaining. Who am I?”

“This is why we get along,” Marc leans into me, he smelled good. “Two boring people, getting our petty kicks with other people’s drama.”

“I think this is kind of my drama too,” I groan.

"Then I guess it’s kind of my drama too,” Marc says happily.

“You’re serious,” I say, leaning my head back against the sofa again, too tired to say anything else.

“I always have your back,” Marc says and I open my eyes just as he nuzzles a kiss against my exposed neck, and Harry walks into view.

“Harry,” I sit up and Marc jolts up as I nearly knock my head into his. Harry looks roughened up, his hair lays every which way as if he ran a rake through it. His face is flushed yet he stares at Marc like he wants to pop his head off.

“I’m really sorry, I’m going to have to call it a night. Miranda is...we have to talk and-”

“Yep, yep, we’re out.” I don’t need to be asked twice. Neither does Marc. Marc heads immediately to the door but I pause by Harry.

“Sorry...” he apologizes again. He looks like a lost puppy which is what makes me press a quick kiss to his cheek.

“We’ll talk in the morning. Gemma is dropping Charlie off around noon.”

“Okay,” Harry looks over my head to Marc, who is opening the door to give us some privacy. He looks back at me, searching my face for something. “I didn’t want the evening to end like this, it’s just...complicated.”

“I get it,” I cut him off, and more gently say again, “I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

“Yes please,” he mumbles. Even though Harrys’ done this to himself, I can’t help but feel a little bad. I pat his arm and turn to head out with Marc. Harry could get himself out of the mess if he wanted.

***

I don’t hear from Harry the next morning, before I pick up Charlie, he leaves me a cryptic text that we should probably not go over today. Charlie and I spend the day exploring London some more instead, although she’s tired in a few hours so we end up picking up Marc after work and enjoying dessert by the river.

I still hear nothing on Saturday morning, Charlie asks about Harry and I lie saying he way busy. It’s only around noon that a haggard Harry shows up at Marc’s door. I was helping load the dishwasher so Marc answers the door. It’s the loud shout from Charlie that alerts me to the guest.

I pass Marc on my way to the door, he just raises his eyebrows to say yikes and it’s an understatement when I see him. Messy hair, a five ‘o clock shadow, and he looks like he hadn’t slept.

“You look...rough.” I say while Charlie sits on his back. I almost want to tell her to be fragile with him with the way he looked.

“It’s been a rough couple days.” He comments, his voice scratchy. “I need to talk to you.”

“Charlie, love, go inside for a bit? I’ve got to speak with your dad.”

“Aww,” she moans as Harry helps her dismount.

“I’ll play with you later little monkey,” Harry tickles her and she squeals as she runs away. His eyes follow her with a smile.

“So...” I step into the hall, tilting the door behind me.

“I think Miranda and I broke up.”

“Ah,” that made sense. “What happened?”

“She...it’s so complicated. Why are women so complicated?”

“Woman here,” I point to myself and raise an eyebrow. He shakes his head and sighs.

“Apparently she...set up that double date so I could see you’d moved on. Except, according to her, the way I was acting made her realise she was never going to measure up to you. She...she wanted me to choose between you and her, I told her...” he gulps, leaning against the opposite wall for some support. “It wasn’t the same. You were Charlie’s mum, we would always be in each other’s lives. She made her peace with it but this morning when I woke up I don’t know...I don’t know what I said. She was just gone. She isn’t answering her phone. I thought we were okay, we made up yesterday but today...I don’t know.”

“Wow,” I didn’t know what else to say. I didn’t think she would actually ask him to choose. And now she went AWOL. “Do you know where she might be?”

“I went to her place, her roommate said she thought she was with me. I just don’t want her to do anything rash.”

“Sorry, Harry.” I look him over, I couldn’t help but feel bad for him. Before I could say anything more, Charlie zips outside with the drawings she had done at the museum. She just wanted his attention, and as he takes them from her he smooths his face over and gives her all the excited feedback she wanted. I slip inside and tell Marc we might head up for a bit.

Harry hesitates before letting us in. The place was a mess. Things are strewn about everywhere. A broken lamp sits near the entrance.

“Woah,” I say.

“Woah” Charlie echoes me with more emphasis.

“Ehm,” Harry scratches his head. “I...was trying to find something.”

“You shouldn’t be so messy dad,” Charlie immediately begins walking to her room, like she always belonged here. A small part of me is already sad for when we had to leave.

“Sorry love,” Harry cracks a grin and we exchange a glance.

“D’you need help...?”

“No, come sit. I’ll pour us a drink.”

We sit in the kitchen, sipping our wine in silence. Charlie plays with her toys in the back, a comforting background noise.

I reach my hand out eventually and brush Harry’s hand on the countertop. He looks over at me, zoning back into the present. His smile is small and sad, dimmed and broken like his lamp. I thread my fingers through his and squeeze for comfort. He brings my hand to his lips and kisses it and I try not to look as affected by it as I feel. He lets go after he kisses it.

“Thanks for being cool about this, I didn’t know who to go to.”

He looks so lost, and upset. I want to comfort him but there are no words I can say to do that. I open my mouth to try to say something anyway, but the familiar sound of his front door opening interrupts me before I can.

“Harry?” Miranda’s distinct voice carries over. Harry shoots out of his chair and goes to meet her. I watch on, out of view as she hugs him and apologises. “I just needed to clear my head. Then I got a taxi and ended up near my mum’s. I think I drank too many mimosas. I don’t know Harry, I brought an apology drink...”

She trails off as she spots Charlie laying down with her toys. She looks towards the kitchen and I look away quick enough to not see if she’d seen me or not.;

“I didn’t realise you had...guests.” She says slowly, slower, I can tell her words slur together. She really did have too much to drink.

“My...Charlie came up, her mum’s just in the kitchen.” Harry says, his words loaded with unspoken meaning.

“Oh. So I leave for a few hours and you invite them back.” My eyes bug out as I realise Miranda was planning on rehashing it right here. I get up and move towards Charlie but unfortunately I have to pass by them to get there.

“I was supposed to see Charlie yesterday, I didn’t know where you went! You weren’t picking up I just invited them up-”

��My phone died!” Miranda pushes Harry away and I move quicker towards Charlie, urging her to go play in her room but she stays on the floor stubbornly.

“Miranda please love, let’s not start this here again. Charlie-”

“What about me Harry? I haven’t gotten any attention from you for weeks! I thought we agreed yesterday-”

“They’re just here for the month! I never get to see her Miranda stop being unreasonable.”

“I don’t know why I thought coming back here was a good idea!” Miranda shouts. I pull Charlie up but even she’s frozen in spot watching Miranda. “You’re just never going to love me the way I want to are you? I’m never going to compare against...her. Them. Whatever!”

Harry tries to soothe her but she throws him off again, dropping her bottle to the floor with a thud. She turns to me while I back away to the bedroom with Charlie. “This is what you wanted isn’t it? Him all to yourself? This is why you came here all along? I bet your air bnb didn’t even have a bloody issue! He never wanted you in the first place! Newsflash: he has a girlfriend! Me! Not you-”

“Miranda! Enough.” Harry says and she shuts up. I scoop Charlie up and take her to the room but she starts crying because she dropped Oreo in the living room. I go back for it and Miranda is shouting at Harry, either she was too drunk to care or she was at the end of her stick. Or both. But when she starts to swear Harry tries to move her outside.

“It’s not like she can hear over how loud she’s fucking crying!” Miranda shouts. She really was having this breakdown here, but I pause. I wasn’t okay with her talking about Charlie like that, and I watch as Harry freezes over as he feels the same way.

“Miranda. That’s enough.” He says seriously.

“I’ve had enough Harry,” she’s on the verge of tears. I shuffle back to the bedroom and quiet Charlie down but as soon as she does the shouting gets loud enough that we can hear.

“Why is she yelling at dad?” Charlie asks, her nose red from crying.

“She’s...upset.” I say lamely.

“She shouldn’t yell at him,” she says quietly.

“Sometimes, when you’re that upset it just feels like you have to yell. But you’re right, we shouldn’t yell at each other. They’ll be okay.”

Eventually they quiet down and I feel like a prisoner stuck in the room, wondering when it was okay to leave. Charlie feels the same way because she eventually opens the door when I’m distracted and heads out.

“Charlie,” I whisper from the room but she doesn’t come back. It’s oddly quiet out and when I peep through there’s nobody actually there. I strain my ears and maybe hear them in the bedroom. I guess he’d convinced her to move location.

There’s a feeling in my stomach, like a hard seed rooting in place and pulling up the dirt as it sprouts up into my chest. I suddenly just wanted to go home, back to LA. It felt so complicated here, and I know Charlie felt at home with her dad but I was just a traveler passing through here. London, felt like a home, but it wasn’t my home. And the feeling forces me to sit down on the edge of the couch. Charlie notices my expression and hovers nearby, eventually climbing up beside me and leaning her head on me. I pull her into me and try to work my way out of the funk I found myself in, turning on the TV just so I didn’t have to suffer in silence.

When Harry eventually comes out with Miranda, I’m making a snack for Charlie who stays seated in front of the TV, eyes glued to whatever was on. I try not to think too hard about why they both looked freshly showered, about what this meant for us all. Miranda sits on the couch and Harry hovers over them all watching. From my view in the kitchen, the feeling from before creeps back. Harry catches my eye just then and raises his chin, is everything okay. I smile reassuringly, it takes everything in me to fake it, before resuming my slicing.

I had to get over Harry, I think. On some level, I was still holding onto him and not dating anyone because I continued to compare everyone to how he made me feel. I was vulnerable living with him, I’d made up some version in my head of a family while I lived here and I watched Harry in his fatherly role. Some part of me hoped it would come true. But watching him with Miranda and Charlie like this, he didn’t need me. I was just a past dream, one that felt good to indulge in. Miranda was clearly his future.

“Charlie,” I call her name once I’ve cut up her snack. I stay in the kitchen, where I watch Harry touch Miranda’s shoulder reassuringly. I watch them make up and then watch as she leaves. Harry doesn’t once come into the kitchen, and I try not to show how gutted I feel.

***

I don’t hear from Harry for a few days. Charlie decided to sleep over for a few days, and I’m more than fine with it as I work to meet some upcoming deadlines. Marc pops in and out of his apartment, we have a few meals together but mostly I let myself get lost in my work. Charlie comes up every so often, but she spends most of her time with her dad. With only one week left here, I understand. I didn’t want to be around him, and make it harder for me to move on.

With less than a week to stay, Charlie asks me curiously as I put her to bed,

“Is Uncle Marc your boyfriend?”

“What?” I stare at her, where was that question coming from? Marc and I made sure to keep our distance whenever she was here. “Why would you ask something like that?”

“I dunno. Dad said you cared about Marc.”

“Dad said what?” I breath deeply. For someone who was calling me a hypocrite he outright told Charlie Marc was my boyfriend? “Marc and I are just good friends honey, like you and Carrie. I don’t know why your dad said that.”

“I like Uncle Marc,” Charlie says as she grows sleepy. “He’s nice.”

I grind my teeth, why would Harry say something like that?

I go back to the living room where I was working on an article, Marc sits opposite me working late too. But no matter how many times I read what I wrote, I can’t focus. My mind spins asking why Harry would tell Charlie something like that.

“Where are you going?” Marc asks as I get up suddenly.

“I’m leaving Charlie asleep here,” I pick my sweater off the couch and slip it on. “I need to talk to Harry.”

“It’s 12am,” Marc puts his laptop to the side. “Ohh I see. You don’t have to use code with me love.”

“What?” I’m confused but it clicks a moment later. “Marc don’t be so immature I just need to talk to him about something he said to Charlie.”

“I won’t wait up, don’t worry. Charlie’s fine here.” He resumes working on his laptop and I don’t even bother correcting him. I fly out of the apartment and up to Harry’s. I didn’t care if he was sleeping, I needed to speak to him. I do a quick knock before fiddling with my key, entering the space just as Harry comes into view.

“Y/N?” Harry’s sleepy face stares at me for a beat, his eyebrows furrowed. And suddenly faced with a shirtless Harry, I realise I could have walked in on him doing anything. I didn’t really think this through--Miranda could be over. Shit.

“We needed to talk,” I close the door behind me and stand up straight, ready to lay into him.

“Now?”

“Yes, now. It couldn’t wait.”

“Come in, I guess.” He steps back and I walk into a brighter space, he follows behind.

“Why would you tell Charlie that Marc was my boyfriend? Or we were seeing each other?” I jump right in.

Harry must still be sleep-confused because he sits down on an armchair and stares up at me trying to piece my sentence in his head. My hands on my hips are fists as I wait impatiently.

“I didn’t tell her he was your boyfriend.” He starts slowly. “She just asked why we weren’t hanging out like before and all these questions about--well you know Charlie. So I said it was complicated; we cared about each other but you cared about other people too like Marc.”

“Why bring Marc into this? She doesn’t know anything.”

“I didn’t mean to,” Harry gets defensive. “I was just trying to break it down to her.”

“So you brought Marc and me into her mind as someone I’m with--the reason why we weren’t hanging out like before? As if Miranda and you isn’t excuse enough?”

“Well, not anymore?” He squints up at me.

“Well...why not anymore?” I didn’t follow.

“Y/N...” He stares at me, searching my face as if I was lying but I don’t even know what I would be lying about. I raise an eyebrow. “Miranda and I broke up--that day you were here and she came in, we broke up, I thought you knew that. That’s why Charlie was staying with me for so long, I wasn’t going anywhere.”

“Y-you broke up?” I was stunned, the way it looked to me, they had made up. “Charlie knew?”

“I don’t know. She just thought Miranda wasn’t coming around. I don’t know if it was worth explaining to her.”

“Oh. Wow,” I sit down on the couch, digesting that Harry and Miranda actually broke up that day. All this time I thought he was quiet because they were back together, but he must have been getting over the breakup. And I didn’t even ask him how he was--he must think I was- “Harry I had no idea, I would’ve....done-or said something. If I knew. I’m sorry.”

“I thought you were just staying out of it,” Harry chuckles to himself. “I didn’t realise you didn’t know.”

“The breakup was so...civil. I couldn’t tell! Can you imagine if we broke up like that all those years ago?”

That makes Harry laugh. “Maybe we would have made up quicker.”

“Maybe,” I whisper, playing with the ring on my finger. My mind races as the last few days make a lot more sense. But the only question that lingers on my mind was, why Harry didn’t try to make his move. If all those words he said over the last few weeks were true--why didn’t he try to talk to me? The only thing I can come up with was that he wanted to stay friends. It would get too complicated. “Well, now that that’s cleared I should probably go.”

I stand up as Harry does. He clears his throat, looks up at me like he wants to say something. I wait a moment, and when he doesn’t the awkward starts to settle.

“Sorry for waking you,” I say, trying to signal that I was now leaving.

“Doesn’t matter.” He shrugs it off. “But...aren’t you mad that I told Charlie?”

“Uh, yeah. Kind of,” I try to figure out where he’s going with this. “But, given your circumstances, I’ll let it slide just this once.”

“Oh c’mon Y/N,” There’s a ghost of a smile on his lips. “Don’t give me that. I don’t need your pity-forgiveness.”

“Fine,” I cross my arms playing along. “If that’s what you want, I don’t forgive you.”

“Good. I want to earn my forgiveness.” Harry says, and it sounds like he’s saying one thing but meaning another.

“Okay well, I’ll think of something.”

“I can think of a few things,” he says with a twinkle. I can’t help the laugh that bursts out; he was making me nervous.

“Like what?” I impulsively ask, fuck it I tell myself. If I couldn’t flirt with my daughter’s single dad what was the point, right?

“Hm,” he takes the few steps between us and flashes me a charming smile. “I could get on my hands and knees and beg, or” he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear and his finger traces the curve of my ear down to my neck, his movements slow and his finger dipping borderline dangerous. “I hear jewellery can work.” he taps my chest but just as quickly his hand moves up to cup my face, his thumb brushing my lips, “or I can cook you your favourite meal and watch you enjoy it or...” I keep my eyes on him, trying not to give in, but as soon as he moves his hand up into my hair, I close my eyes without meaning to. He knew my favourite feeling was his fingers in my hair and even now, it was no different.

“Or what?” I whisper, eyes still closed, too afraid of what I’ll see if I open them.

“Look at me,” He whispers. I swallow, he says it again and I finally open my eyes. He’s not even hiding what he wants, but he is holding back. “I don’t want to force you into anything, I want you Y/N...but I know you’re with Marc so if you want me to stop I-”

“Harry,” I cut him off. Marc was right, he really didn’t know--that must be why he left me alone. And now in the midst of this heat, I had to tell him--I’d only played myself: “Marc and I aren’t together. We got together a few times but we were never actually...together.”

“Wait.” his hand leaves my hair and I want to snatch it back. He takes a step away, his eyes flitting at he thinks. “So this whole time?”

I shrug.

“This whole time, you just let me believe you and him...”

I try not to look too guilty as realization dawns on him. When he steps towards me again, his mouth is curved into a smile. And one might think it’s a nice smile, but the look in his eyes, I knew he was gearing up for something, because now he knows I let him believe Marc and I were going out on purpose. And I was going to pay.

“Okay, okay so I can explain,” I hold my hand out but he just keeps walking until I stumble back into the couch I just got up from. He leans over me, and a giggle bursts out from nervousness. “Harry really, I-”

“You let me believe,” he grabs the hand I have raised and envelops it in his, taking away my only defense. “That you were going out with Marc? just to bother me?”

“Well,” I’m at a loss for words as I look everywhere but at his face. “It worked, didn’t it?”

“A little too well,” he murmurs. When I give in and look at him, I'm a goner.

“I'm sorry,” I say. “Really I-”

“You’re not getting away with it that easily.”

“What happened to forgiveness? We can mutually forgive!”

“I’m not that kind of person,” he says. Before I can respond he’s somehow managed to lift me up and sling me over his shoulder.

“This-Harry!” I try to wriggle out but his hands are iron clad on my legs. His apartment floats upside down as he carries me. “I’m sorry! C’mon! This is cruel and unusual punishment! I-”

The breath is knocked out of me as he lays me down on the bed, we look at each other for a moment and then his face cracks into a grin, “Last time I checked, you were into cruel and unusual punishment.”

I laugh, “That was four years ago love, a lot can change in 4 years.”

“Hm,” he leans over me and I crawl up the bed until my head hits the pillow, as he follows. “But some things never change, do they?”

“No,” I stare into his green eyes. They shine with unadulterated joy and adoration. My stomach swarms with butterflies like I’m a teenage girl, like I was Y/N so long ago, excited the hot guy from the party took me home. I hold his face in mine and kiss him with the same joy and adoration. “Some things never change.”

“I love you Y/N,” he says into my neck. I push him up to look at him, he says it again and I can’t stop grinning.

“Are you going to make me wait?” he raises an eyebrow. “Is that my punishment.”

I shake my head, “I think we punished each other enough the last few years.”

He nods in agreement, “That’s deep.”

“So’s my love,” I push the cheesiness which always got him to laugh. He laughs now too, and I feel the small thrill of being the one to do that. “I love you”

“Phew. Now let me kiss you,” he pulls my shirt off effortlessly and our lips meet in the middle, missing each other already.

And as we press into each other, relearning every inch of the other, catching up for all those silent years, we just fit together like we were absolutely made for each other. And truer words didn’t exist: some things never change.

Epilogue