#this whole ass month just flew by

[waitimcomingtoo]

Kept Me Like a Secret When I Kept You Like An Oath

Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!Reader

Synopsis: Tony has a strict rule against you dating, so when he finds out you and Peter have been dating behind his back, he comes up with a lie to keep you apart

Masterlist

“Hey love bug, do you know the Hulu password?” Tony asked you once you opened your door for him.

“Oh, yeah. It’s flower power boo boo foot. No spaces.” You quickly answered and tried to shut the door on your dad.

“I thought so too. But I tried that and it didn’t work.” Tony sighed and pushed your door right back open.

“Did you capitalize every first letter?”

“Yep. No dice.”

“Try “smithereens”. I think that’s the new one.” You told him and tried to shut the door again.

“I tried that too. That’s the Netflix password.” Tony shook his head, oblivious to the fact you were trying to get rid of him.

“Oh darn. I guess I don’t know it then.” You faked a laugh and tried to close your door.

“Didn’t we change it at some point to America’s ass? No spaces?” Tony asked and pushed your door back open.

“We did. But then Steve got mad so we made it “Steve’s a Virgin” for a couple weeks. Then he got more mad so we made it “smithereens”. If it’s not that anymore, then I don’t know it.”

“Huh. Then I’ll just change it to “buckysucks” and write it down.” Tony decided.

“Good plan.” You nodded quickly and prayed he’d leave.

“All right. Thanks, kiddo.”

“Bye, daddy.” You smiled sweetly and shut your door with your free hand.

Your other hand, which had been out of sight that whole conversation, was covering Peters mouth as he hid from Tony. His back was pressed against the wall beside your door and he was holding his breath to be as quiet as possible. He placed his hand over yours to keep quiet, his hand that was still covered by his Spiderman suit.

“That was a close one.” You said as you took your hand off his mouth.

“I know. But how exciting was it?” Peter grinned as he scooped you up. You shrieked in excitement before pulling Peter into a kiss. He never broke the kiss as he walked you over to your bed and laid you down on it. Just when you were getting into a groove, you heard a knock at the door. Peter flew to the ceiling and stuck to it as you sat up and smoothed your hair.

“Honey, one more thing.” Tony said as he opened your door.

“Yes daddy?” You smiled sweetly and tried to discreetly catch your breath.

“Can you send me that chicken recipe again? I want to make it for dinner tonight.”

“You mean you want our chef to make it for dinner tonight?” You raised an eyebrow.

“Precisely.”

“I’ll send it to you.” You told him and immediately sent it to get rid of him quicker.

“Are you feeling okay, pumpkin? You look a little sweaty.” Tony asked, making you gulp. Your eyes flicked to your ceiling, where Peter was hanging upside down and holding his breath.

“I’m good. Probably just coming down with something.” You laughed nervously and wiped your forehead.

“Oh no. I’ll make you some tea.”

“Thanks daddy.” You blew him a kiss as he shut the door. Once he was gone, Peter dropped down from the ceiling and landed on your bed.

“You really need to get a lock on your door.” Peter chuckled and leaned in again.

“Where’s the fun in that?” You scoffed and cupped his face to kiss him. As much as you hated hiding your relationship from your dad, the thrill of having a secret made it all that much more exciting. It had been three months of you and Peter sneaking around now and you were starting to get less careful.

A couple days later, Tony went into Peters room to talk to him about upgrading his suit. He wandered around and looked at the various things on Peters desk as he spoke until something caught his eye.

“Now this is interesting.” Tony said as he leaned over Peters desk.

“Tell me about it. That’s not even the first flock of birds to drop out of the sky this year.” Peter answered, thinking Tony was looking at the science magazine he had open on his desk.

“Actually, I meant these.” Tony said and held up a lavender pair of your underwear.

“Oh my God.” Peter gasped as all the color drained from his face.

“You know, Parker, I had you pegged for more of a boxer briefs kinda guy.” Tony chuckled and dropped the underwear back onto the desk.

“Those aren’t mine.” Peter quickly explained.

“Really? I thought Victoria Secret No Show panties would be perfect for you in your skin tight suit.” Tony teased.

“Sorry about that. It won’t happen again.”

“Well don’t stop doing what you’re doing on account of me. I am many things but I am not one to blicken anyones chicken.”

“Blicken - oh. Cock block. I get it.” Peter sighed in disappointment.

“So who’s the lucky lady?” Tony asked and took a seat on Peters bed.

“Oh, uh, we don’t have to talk about this. Don’t worry. May already had “the talk” with me.” Peter laughed nervously and hoped Tony would get the hint to drop it.

“I don’t mind it. You’re the closest thing I have to a son and I always thought I’d be really good at giving the sex talk.”

“You’ve always thought that?” Peter scrunched his nose.

“Let’s just talk basics so I can get out of your hair. Are you guys being safe?”

“Yes. Totally safe.” Peter assured him.

“Good. Because we don’t know how radioactive your web fluid is, if you catch my drift.”

“I wish I didn’t but I do.” Peter grimaced.

“So is it just one girl or are you running some kind of brothel in here?” Tony questioned.

“Just one girl. My girlfriend.” Peter said with a shy smile.

“Well I’ll be. You’ve taken a lover.” Tony smiled proudly and patted Peters knee.

“Yeah, I guess I have.” Peter laughed and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Oh, I get it. I recognize the blush of a smitten man. I get the same blush every time I catch my reflection in a building when I pass by it. How long have you been seeing this girl?”

“Three months. But the…other stuff only started recently.”

“Good for you for waiting. I’ll have you know that Pepper and I waited. I’ll also have you know that Pepper couldn’t stand me for the first few years she knew me.”

“Yeah. She’s mentioned that.” Peter chuckled.

“Do you love her? And follow up, have you told her if you have?”

“I haven’t told her yet. But I do. I love her with all my heart.”

“Then why haven’t you told her?”

“I’m scared too. I’m scared she doesn’t love me back yet.” Peter admitted for the first time out loud.

“Peter, she’s been dating you for three months and is willing to sneak into the highly secluded Avengers tower just to bust it open for you. I think it’s safe to assume she loves you.”

“Maybe.” Peter laughed shyly and started to feel a twinge of guilt for lying to Tony about who he was dating.

“How does she get in here anyway? I’ve never seen a girl around here.” Tony realized, making Peter gulp.

“I swing her up to my window.” Peter quickly lied.

“Aw. Like Rapunzel.”

“Yeah. Exactly like Rapunzel.” Peter nodded in agreement.

“Well I’m happy for you, kid. I really am. Any girl would be lucky to be dating a man like you. And I know if my daughter ever brought home a guy like you, I’d be damn proud of her for picking a good one.” Tony said and patted Peters shoulder. Peter looked at Tony’s hand on his shoulder and felt like he could cry. It was one of the most sincere and heartfelt things Tony had ever said to Peter and it killed Peter that it happened because of a lie.

“Do you really mean that?” Peter asked quietly.

“I do. I saw greatness in you the day I met you, kiddo. And I’ve seen in everyday since.” Tony said with a fond smile.

“Thanks, Mr. Stark. That means a lot to me.” Peter answered and put his hand over Tony’s. Inside, it was absolutely killing Peter to lie to Tony’s face in that moment. His guilt doubled and he knew he had to come clean as soon as possible.

“Well now I’ve made myself uncomfortable by expressing my feelings. I’m gonna leave now before an awkward silence settles in. See you at dinner?” Tony cleared his throat awkwardly and stood up from Peter’s bed.

“See you at dinner.” Peter nodded and felt relived that Tony was leaving.

“K. Love you.” Tony said as he walked towards the door.

“I love you too.” Peter said sincerely.

“Gross.” Tony grimaced. He then winked at Peter before leaving his room. Once he was gone, Peter felt himself get emotional as tears slipped down his face. He couldn’t believe he just lied to a man who had given him so much. Peter quickly wiped his face and went to your room to settle this before it went any further.

“Hey.” You smiled when you opened your door and saw him.

“Hey. Can we talk?” Peter asked as he came in and shut the door behind him.

“Oh. Yeah, sure. Is everything okay?”

“No, it’s not okay. I just talked to your dad.”

“Did you tell him about us?” You worried and sat on your bed.

“No. But he found your underwear in my room.” Peter sighed as sat beside you.

“Oh no. What did you tell him?” You laughed, still not understanding the gravity of the situation.

“That I have a girlfriend.”

“Okay. Maybe this will work in our favor. It’ll be easier to sneak around if he knows you’re dating someone.” You shrugged. Peter kept his eyes on his lap and you noticed that his leg was bouncing nervously.

“What’s wrong?” You asked and placed your hand on his knee to calm him down. Peter sucked in a sharp breath before getting emotional again.

“I don’t want to sneak around anymore. I can’t keep lying to your dad like this. I can’t do it.” Peter said with watery eyes.

“Peter, we talked about this. He can’t know about us. He made it very clear that I’m not allowed to date until I’m 21.” You sighed and withdrew your hand.

“I know we talked about it. But he and I had a great conversation and I really think things will be different. He just told me he’d be proud of you if you brought home a guy like me.”

“Peter, he says that now as a hypothetical but if he knew we were actually dating, he would feel differently.”

“I cannot keep breaking his trust like this. It’s killing me to lie to him. And I don’t know what’s gonna be worse. When he finds out I’m dating you or when he finds out I lied to his face about it.” Peter got off your bed and started to pace your room in a panic.

“If he finds out about us, he’s just gonna flip out and tell us we’re too young and too dumb to date. He’ll never be okay with this.” You reminded Peter as you got off your bed. You put your hands on his shoulders to calm him down and he stopped pacing.

“I know. But what’s he gonna do? It’s not like he can force us to break up.”

“Maybe not. But he can take your suit away and kick you out of the tower. Or make FRIDAY lock you out of my room permanently. Or make sure we are never alone together. He’s Tony Stark. He had infinite resources and time on his hands. If he wants us to break up, he will find a way.”

“Then we will just find a way to be together. No matter what he does.” Peter promised as he took your hands.

“But it will never be the same. Isn’t it better to lie to him so we can be together like this for as long as possible?”

“I’m not a liar. And he knows that.” Peter shook his head decidedly and let go of your hands. You folded your arms and stared at Peter for a minute, knowing he had already made up his mind. You hated lying to your dad just as much as Peter did, but you knew it was the only way for you to remain together.

“Can you just give me a little more time? Just in case he forces us apart?” You asked quietly and took Peter’s hands again. He looked at your hands and sighed before nodding his head.

“Okay. We’ll keep it a secret for a little longer.”

“Thank you.” You smiled and cupped his face to kiss him. When you pulled away, Peter got a look on his face that you didn’t recognize.

“Was there something else?” You asked him.

“Yeah. I…” Peter began but trailed off when he lost his nerve. He wanted to tell you he loved you, but his fear stopped him once again.

“Never mind. I’ll tell you later.” Peter faked a smile.

“Okay. Tell me later.”

The next day, you left to go on a recon mission with some of the other Avengers. Peter stayed back at the tower since his powers wouldn’t be useful and spent the week listlessly lounging around as he waited for you to come back. Finally, he got an alert that the quintet had landed on the rooftop. Peter excitedly jumped off his bed and ran into the foyer to see you. When he got there, he saw Tony and some other Avengers, but no you.

“Hey. Did the mission go okay?” Peter asked as he scanned the room for you.

“For the most part. Until Y/n got hit with a missile.” Tony said causally.

“What?!” Peter shrieked. “How did that happen?”

“She stood right in front of a middle launch pad.” Steve answered like it was the most simple thing in the world.

“Yeah. It was 100% her fault.” Tony chuckled. “She’ll be okay though. She’s recovering in the medical wing.”

“I have to see her.” Peter said and tried to push past Tony.

“Slow your roll there, Parker.” Tony stopped him. “She’s got open wounds so the doctor doesn’t want any outside germs in the room with her. You can see her when she’s out in a couple days.”

“No, no, no. I need to be in there with her.” Peter started to panic and tried to go towards your room again.

“No, you do not. You can see her after.” Tony pushed Peter back again with an annoyed laugh.

“You don’t understand. I need to see her now.” Peters eyes teared up as he tried one last time to get around Tony. By this point, Tony was more than suspicious and had a sinking feeling in his stomach.

“What don’t I understand? Why exactly do you need to see her so badly?” Tony questioned as he folded his arms. From the desperation in Peters voice, Tony had figured out what was going on. And from the tone in Tony’s voice, Peter figured he knew exactly what Peter was about to say. Peter stared at Tony for a minute as he went over his options in his head. He knew you didn’t want your dad to know about your relationship yet, but it might be his only chance of getting to see you while you were hurt. With the knowledge of you being hurt clouding his judgment, he made a snap decision.

“Because I love her.” Peter said quietly. Tony’s jaw locked as his suspicions were confirmed.

“Excuse me?” Tony asked in a low voice.

“Mr. Stark, I am in love with your daughter. And I need be with her. Please.” Peter pleaded in a shaking voice.

“I thought you had a girlfriend?” Tony asked as he folded his arms.

“I do. It’s her.”

“You’ve been dating my daughter behind my back for three months?”

“Yes. I have. And I know you’re going to yell and scream and throw things at me but before you do, please understand that I never wanted to lie to you. She asked me to keep our relationship a secret so I did. Because I would do anything for her. Absolutely anything.”

Tony stared at him for a long time but said nothing. Peter didn’t know this, but Tony was tallying up in his head all the times you and Peter had lied to him to keep your relationship a secret.

“Okay. You can yell at me now.” Peter said and braced himself.

“I’m not going to yell at you.”

“You’re not?”

“You didn’t tell me for three months?” Tony asked again, sadness in his voice this time.

“No. I didn’t.” Peter admitted, making Tony nod his head.

“I expected more from you.” Tony said without looking into Peters eyes.

“I know, and I’m sorry, but-“

“You will move all your stuff out by tonight.” Tony cut him off. “You will go back to living with May. Happy will call you if -and that’s a big if- I need you for a mission. Other than that, you are not affiliated with the Avengers. You are not welcome in this tower. And you are never, ever, to speak to my daughter again. Do you understand?”

“Mr. Stark, I know you’re mad but-“

“Do you understand?” Tony cut him off again by yelling. Peter felt tears come to his eyes but he nodded his head.

“Yes sir.” Peter said quietly.

“Good. Now go.” Tony said and pointed to the door. Peter noticed Tony’s finger was shaking but said nothing. He reluctantly walked towards the door and before he could open it, he heard Tony’s voice again.

“I am so disappointed in you.” Tony said, delivering the final blow. Peter quickly left the room before Tony could see him cry.

By the time you woke up, Peter was long gone. You struggled to sit up and winced when you felt the wound on your side.

“Daddy? What happened?” You asked as you rubbed your eyes.

“Hey sweetheart. Welcome back. You got absolutely wasted by a missile.” Tony said in a soft voice.

“Typical.” You sighed. “Are there any major injuries?”

“Your ear is shot but the doctor said it’s only temporary.”

“Good thing Clint taught us all ASL.” You signed to Tony.

“Yeah. Good thing.” Tony signed back. You smiled and squeezed his hand before looking around the room.

“Has anyone come by to see me?” You asked, but meant someone in particular.

“Everybody has. This is the first time your room has been empty since you got here.”

“Aw. I can’t wait to see them all.” You smiled softly when you noticed the cards and flowers in your room that the team had left.

“They can’t wait to see you.”

“Did Peter come by?” You asked, making Tony’s smile drop.

“No. He hasn’t.” Tony said quietly.

“He hasn’t?” You frowned. “Does he know what happened?”

“Well he’s been a little busy so I’m not sure he heard the news.” Tony lied to you without even thinking about it.

“Busy? With what?” You laughed skeptically and looked around for your phone to text Peter.

“Well you know how he has a girlfriend?”

“Yeah. I heard about that.” You replied without looking your dad in his eyes.

“Well the security cameras caught Peter sneaking her into the tower while we were gone. I found that a little disrespectful so I told him that if he wanted overnight guests, he’d have to bring them to his own home. He agreed and said he’d be sleeping back at his apartment with May from now on.” Tony lied to you as he said the first thing that popped into his head.

“Wait, what? You saw Peter with a girl?”

“With his girlfriend, yes.” Tony continued to lie. He knew you were Peters girlfriend, but you didn’t know he knew, so he was taking advantage.

“That isn’t possible.” You laughed uncomfortably.

“Why not?” Tony played dumb.

“Because…” You began then trailed off. You didn’t know Tony already knew about you and Peter so you were still determined to keep the secret. So as much as you wanted to tell your dad that what he was saying meant Peter was cheating on you, you had to keep quiet.

“Nothing. No reason. I’m just surprised he brought a girl here. And now he’s moving out?”

“Yep. He moved all his stuff out already. He was being weird about the whole thing. He seemed super freaked out when I told him that I knew about the girl. He even begged me not to tell you. Isn’t that strange? I don’t know why he thought you would care.” Tony shrugged as he fed you more of the lie. He watched your face crumple and knew he was hurting you but decided it was for the best.

“Yeah. Me either.” You said quietly as you fought back tears.

“Well I’ll let you get some rest, kiddo. See you in the morning.” Tony kissed your forehead before leaving your room. As soon as he was gone, you pulled your comforter over your head and cried yourself to sleep.

Tony’s plan worked and you ended up blocking Peters number before he had a chance to reach out to you. And while kicking Peter out kept the two of you apart while you recovered from your injury, Tony didn’t account for the fact that you and Peter went to the same college. Peter finally saw you again on your first day back at school and pushed people out of the way to get to you.

“There you are. I’ve been texting and calling you like crazy for the past two weeks. Why haven’t you answered me?”

You ignored Peter and continued putting your books away in your locker. Peter blinked a few times in confusion before trying again.

“Are you okay? I never even got to see you after your accident. Is everything all right with you? I was so worried.” Peter asked and rubbed your arm. You pushed his hand away and slammed your locker before walking away. Peter shook his head in confusion before running after you.

“Hello? Can you hear me?” He asked and stepped in front of you.

“What do you want Peter?” You sighed.

“What do I want? To talk to my girlfriend, maybe. I’d like to start there.” He said sarcastically.

“Oh, your girlfriend? Which one?” You asked and folded your arms.

“Huh?”

“My dad told me about the other girl. I know that’s why you moved out. Did you really think you could cheat on me in my own house and I wouldn’t find out?” You asked before walking away again. Peter looked up at the ceiling to ask the sky what the hell you were talking about before running after you. He caught up to you and placed his hands on your shoulders to stop you.

“What the hell are you even talking about? Cheat on you? With who?” Peter exclaimed.

“I don’t know her name.” You rolled your eyes. “All I know is my dad said he saw you with another girl when I was gone on the mission.”

“What?!” Peter shrieked. “That never happened. All I did when you were gone was wait for you to come back.”

“Then why did you move out?”

“Because your dad kicked me out!” Peter exclaimed before looking around for who might be listening.

“Because your dad kicked me out.” He whispered, making you roll your eyes again.

“Why would he do that?”

“Because found out about us. Or, I told him about us. But only because you were hurt and I was scared so I panicked and blurted that I…”

“That you…” You urged him to finish his sentence once he trailed off. Peter looked at you for a minute and decided that the only way to get you to understand what happened was to tell you the whole truth.

“That I love you. I told him that I loved you. That’s how he found out.” Peter admitted. Your angry expression immediately melted to one of confusion as you dropped your guard.

“You told my dad you loved me before you told me?”

“It wasn’t exactly planned.” Peter said quietly. Your face lit up in a fond smile as peters face burned bright red.

“You love me?” You asked and took peters hands.

“A whole lot, unfortunately.”

“Peter.” You gushed and wrapped your arms around his neck. He immediately hugged your back and melted into your touch after weeks of silence from you.

“Wait, I’m mad at you.” You remembered and let go of him.

“Baby girl, do you think it’s possible that your dad lied about me cheating to get you to hate me?” Peter asked slowly.

“Why would he want me to hate you?”

“Because if you hate me, you’re not gonna beg him to let us be together. It was kind of a genius move if you think about it. You didn’t know that he knew about us so he made up a story to get you to hate me. That way, he didn’t have to break us up or hear about why we should be together.”

“Damn it. He is a genius.” You whispered when you realized Peter was probably right. Peter stepped forward and cupped your face in his hands so you’d look at him.

“I didn’t cheat on you, honey. I swear. I think we both know I’m not organized or coordinated enough to pull that off.”

“You’re right. I don’t know why I believed him so easily. Maybe because he told me while I was still high on morphine.” You sighed and wrapped your arms around Peter again.

“So we’re okay?” He asked hopefully. You broke into a smile and kissed him before pulling away.

“I love you too.” You told him before kissing him again.

“Now let’s go kill my dad.” You said sweetly once you pulled away.

“Aw.” Peter smiled. “Wait, what?”

~

“I don’t think this is a good idea. He’s gonna kill me.” Peter whispered to you as you walked hand in hand to the main room of the tower.

“Probably.” You whispered back, making Peter stop in his tracks.

“What?! So why are we doing this?”

“Because it’s what’s right. He can’t get mad at us for lying to him and then turn around and do the same thing to me by lying to my face. We are in love and there is no reason we shouldn’t be together. And that’s exactly what I’m gonna tell him.” You said as you grabbed his hand to continue pulling him. When you got to the main room, you saw most of the team sitting around.

“Oh good. Everybody’s here.” You said, getting everyone’s attention. Tony’s eyes went from Peters face to your intertwined hands before he stood up.

“What’s he doing here?” Tony asked angrily and pointed to Peter. Peter looked at you in fear but you squeezed his hand to let him know it was going to be okay.

“Everyone, Peter and I have something to tell you. We are in love and in a relationship.” You announced and waited for reactions. Everyone looked at each other but no one seemed particularly interested.

“Um, congrats? Is that really something that needed to be announced?” Natasha laughed awkwardly.

“Yeah, no offense guys, but I don’t think anyone cares that you two are together.” Steve said and everyone nodded in agreement.

“Oh. Damn. Anticlimactic.” You mumbled under your breath. Tony, on the other hand, was not as nonchalant.

“Like hell you are.” Tony scoffed. “This is not happening. Not under my roof or anywhere else that I own. Which is a lot of property, by the way.”

“Dad, you can’t keep Peter and I apart. Especially not by lying to me and saying he cheated on me.”

“Yeah, I kinda can’t believe you bought that. I came up with it on the spot.” Tony dropped his anger for a second to snort.

“Oh my God.” You face palmed.

“It wasn’t fair to me. I’ve been nothing but loyal, helpful, and respectful towards you. You had no reason to kick me out and lie about me.” Peter spoke up, getting everyone’s attention.

“Uh, here’s a reason.” Tony scoffed and held up a finger. “You had sexual intercourse with my off spring. I freaking found her panties in your room next to your Lego police station!”

“Your “off spring” is my girlfriend, okay? It’s not like Y/n and I are just hooking up. We are dating and in love and it is none of your business. So I’m sorry if you don’t like that we’re together, but I’m also not sorry. Because you need to get over it. She’s an adult and she can date whoever she wants. So you can kick me out of the tower and try to keep us apart, but you’ll never be able to break us up. We love each other and we don’t care how that makes you feel.”

“Yeah.” You chimed in. “If you kick him out, I’ll just go with him. And I don’t care if you emancipate me because of it. I’d rather be poor with him than rich without him.”

“Did you just stand up to me?” Tony asked with tight eyes.

“Did you just call me poor?” Peter asked you.

“Yes?” You answered both their questions with a question.

“Wow. Things are becoming clearer. Words are being processed. Previously held opinions are being changed. Gasp! I realizing that I was…wrong?” Tony gasped and sat back down on the couch with a dumbfounded expression.

“He is unbearable sometimes.” Steve groaned and rubbed his eyes.

“Yeah, wait a minute. Tony, did you really do that? Did you really kick Peter out and lie to your kid?” Natasha asked.

“I will admit that I lied to my beloved daughter about the loyalty of her boyfriend to split them up. And that I may have slightly overreacted when I heard Peter and Y/n were an item.” Tony confessed, making everyone groan.

“Is that it? You’re just admitting to something we already know you did?” You asked and folded your arms. Peter put an arm around you to show that he supported you and judging by the looks of everyone else’s faces, they supported you too. Tony looked around the room before letting out a sigh.

“I ran so hot when I was young. I didn’t think I’d ever be able to settle down and start a family. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I didn’t think anyone would want to with me. So when your mother got pregnant, I swore I would be the most devoted and loving father I possible could be. And once your mom and I split up, I worried that I’d be your father but I wouldn’t be your dad, you know? I was so excited that you chose to live with me. I thought it would always be the two of us. Plus the 10 adults who also live with us.”

“I think we’re up to 12 now.” Sam mumbled.

“I wasn’t expecting a boyfriend.” Tony continued. “You’re still 6 in my head. You’re still my little girl. And I just didn’t know how to handle finding my little girls drawers in Peters bedroom.”

“Little girls grow up eventually.” You told him.

“I know.” Tony sighed. “But eventually is a lot different from actually.”

“Well just because you didn’t want me to grow up doesn’t excuse what you did.” You stood your ground.

“I see that now. I’m sorry that I lied to you. I did it without thinking it through and it was wrong of me.” Tony apologized and you nodded in satisfaction.

“Okay. Now Peter.” You said and pushed Peter forward.

“Excuse me?” Tony raised an eyebrow.

“What’s that now?” Peter turned to you to ask.

“Apologize to Peter.” You told him. “I wasn’t the only one you wronged.”

“She’s right. How could you kick Peter out? He’s the only one who knows the HBO Max password.” Natasha pointed out.

“It’s “fuckyfarnes”.” Peter said quietly.

“Yeah. That wasn’t cool Tony. You better apologize to him.” Steve agreed. Tony rolled his eyes to the ceiling and swung his arms like a little kid before looking at Peter.

“I’m sorry, kid. I shouldn’t have kicked you out like that. It didn’t bother me as much that Y/n lied. Daughters lie to their dads. It’s human nature. But when I realized you’d been lying to me…I don’t know. I felt betrayed. You weren’t my kid lying to me. You were my friend.”

“Well I’m sorry I lied. But we wouldn’t have had to lie to you if you didn’t have a crazy rule have against Y/n dating anybody until she’s 21.” Peter defended.

“Wait, you seriously made that a rule? Did you lock her in a tower too and tell her not to let her hair down for anybody?” Sam snorted.

“It seemed like a good idea at the time, okay?” Tony defended. “I didn’t want her to end up like Taylor Swift. Taylor’s heart was broken way too many times as a teenager and then again on her 21st birthday. I didn’t want the same fate for my daughter.”

“How do you know how many times Taylor Swift’s heart was broken?” Steve asked in confusion.

“Clearly you’ve never listened to her discography because she is very specific about the ages to weary of.” Tony said with a roll of his eyes.

“It’s true. She is. 7, 13, 15, 17, 18, 19.” You listed off.

“22.” Tony added.

“I thought 22 is the good age?” Steve asked.

“Not according to “Nothing New” it’s not.” Tony scoffed and you nodded in agreement.

“Can we circle back to the topic anytime soon?” Peter asked but everyone ignored him.

“Why are the years from 17 to 21 so perilous?” Bucky raised his hand to ask.

“Because at 17 you don’t know anyhting and nobody understands. 18 is actually good because you know everything but 19 is bad because you dance with the devil while you’re too young to be messed with. 20 is a year of neutral good but 21 is when Jake Gyllenhaal takes your virginity and your scarf and then doesn’t show up to your birthday party.” Tony explained.

“I gotta start listening to this girls music because what the actual fuck?” Steve blew out a breath of exhaustion.

“Who is Jake Gyllenhaal and does he take everyone’s virginity at 21 or does he pick and choose?” Bucky raised his hand to ask. Tony started to answer but Peter cut him off.

“SHUT UP ABOUT TAYLOR SWIFT.” Peter shouted and everyone went silent.

“Never.” Tony whispered after a beat of silence and then looked around as if to find who said that.

“Sorry Peter.” You said. “Daddy, you may proceed with your apology.”

“Look Peter, I’ll admit that what I did was wrong and an overreaction. But I’m also not totally comfortable with you living here knowing you and my daughter are fadoodling.”

“But dad.” You whined and stamped your foot a little.

“She makes a good point there.” Sam said and pointed to you.

“Nope. Absolutely not. You are way too young to be living with your boyfriend.”

“But Mr. Stark.” Peter whined. “May already turned my room into her crafting center.”

“I don’t care. That’s my compromise. You can date my daughter but you cannot live under my roof.”

“What if I don’t date your daughter and continue living under your roof?” Peter asked, making everyone go silent.

“Okay. That was a hilarious joke but fine. Don’t laugh. I don’t even care.” Peter mumbled under his breath.

“Final offer. Take it or leave it, kid.” Tony said and held out his hand.

“What if Peter moves back in but we set a curfew for when we can be in each others room until?” You suggested.

“What if I move out because living here is constant drama and I find you all unbearable?” Sam asked with a smile.

“Fine.” Tony reluctantly agreed. “Peter can move back in but there will be a strict curfew enforced. And I better never find my daughters underwear in your Legos ever again.”

“I can promise you that.” Peter said and eagerly shook Tonys hand.

“So we’re good? Everybody forgives everybody?” You asked hopefully.

“I think so.” Tony said and patted Peters shoulder.

“Me too. And hey, maybe this curfew will prevent us from having another pregnancy scare. Remember how scary that was?” Peter joked to lighten the mood. Tony’s smile immediately crumbled as his grip on Peters shoulder tightened. The rest of the team cringed and braced themselves for Tony’s reaction.

“What did you just say?” Tony asked through clenched teeth.

“Oh my God.” You whispered. “Peter, run. Run fast before he kills you.”

Tag List 🏷️

@awesomebooklover17 @thebookwormlife @imanativeofswlondondahling @serendipitous-amor @tom-hollands-wifey

@whatareyouhidingpeter @takenbyheartstrings @ultrunning @imyourliquor-youremypoison @andreasworlsboring101

@letsloveimagines @peterparkoure @a-villain-vying-for-attention @justcallmehitgirl

@jackiehollanderr @maryjanee23 @geeksareunique @emmamarshmellow

@unbelievableholland @flixndchill @sovereignparker @every-marveler-ever

@undiadeestos @caelestii-e @eridanuswave​ ​ @fiantomartell @solarxmoonchild

@canyouevencauseicant @illwritetomorrow @thehappygrungelife @saysomethingspiderman

@smilexcaptainx @quaksonhehe @kelieah @seasidecrowbar @lovelessdagger

@electraheart-3174 @unbelievableholland @yourtypicalhotmess @horanxholland

@thesuitelifeofafangirl @marshxx @heyheycharlatte @nooneinvitedfascistbarbie

@maybemona @alexxcorona113 @lethal-wisdom @xo-spidey

[wandamaximoffsbadgirl]

Beautiful Stranger

I've Never Seen a Mouth That I Would Kill to Kiss (2)

Mommy!Wanda x Beefy!Fem!Reader

Summary: You've been helping out with the boys for a few months and getting closer to Wanda

Word Count: 3.8K

Warnings: 18+, MDNI, Thigh riding (W to R), R is referred to as Daddy, fingering (R to W), subspace, Dom/sub dynamics

A/N: Here is part 2 because this is all my brain can work with at the moment is fixing this up for you guys~

August 28,2023

The end of summer flew by as you continued to babysit the boys on occasion while Wanda worked out things with her soon to be ex-husband.

Wanda hadn't told you when you first met her, but she did eventually when you woke up in her bed one morning to her throwing up in the master bath. Rushing over to hold her hair and sooth her by rubbing her back.

“Did you eat something bad last night?” You asked with concern in your voice, but she shook her head, looking at you with tears in her eyes. Some of them rolled down her cheeks, staining them with makeup from the night before. You helped wipe them away enough that she could calm down and say it,

“I'm pregnant.” She told you letting you know it had happened before her and her husband had talked about divorce. She was about three months when you found out.

You grabbed a cool face cloth, dabbing her face, wiping the new tears that had formed and finally cleaning her mouth. You leaned back against the sink counter, holding her hand.

“We'll figure something out. Whatever it is,” You shrug, letting your thumb brush against the back of her hand a soft smile on your face. “I'll be here for you Wanda.” Wanda started crying and you blamed it on the hormone because you didn't think much about what you said, but in that moment it was exactly what Wanda needed to hear. That someone, anyone was on her side and you? You were on her side the moment you met her.

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September 11,2023

As you started up college and the boys started up school you came over every weekday morning to help get them off to school.

Wanda was starting to show ever so slightly, especially when she still wore these tight tank tops from the heat. She was currently leaning over the kitchen island talking to the boys as you tried not to stare at her boobs that were practically spilling out of her tank top.

“Okay boys. Off you go. Y/N will pick you up from practice and I'll be home at six for dinner.” Wanda tells the boys.

“I'll be making dinner so think about what you want otherwise I'm picking!” You call as they head out the door.

Wanda and you both had a few hours before having to go your separate ways. Recently it felt like the two of you were closer than ever with tantalizing brushes here and there against each other. She'd find excuses to brush past you, her ass rubbing against you, making you want to just grab her and fuck her.

It honestly made you wonder if it was her pregnancy hormones. You had read about it affecting your libido so maybe Wanda was just as horny as you were?

You moved over to Wanda, helping her with the dishes, bending over as you stacked the plates from the bottom rack and moving around Wanda to go put them away in the cupboard next to her.

“Oh sweet girl you don't have to do that.” Wanda says.

“I know Wands, I want to help you. I told you I'm here for you.” Wanda bit her lip looking away,

“Pretty girl?” Wanda's voice was soft and gentle, making you turn towards her.

“Hm?” You asked, realizing just how close the two of us were as you looked down at her. You were almost a whole head taller than her. She looked up at you still biting her lip. You just want to…your hands moved with your thoughts, setting on top of her hips and pulling her against you. “What is it beautiful?” You’re surprised by your own forwardness. You'd never called Wanda a nickname other than Wands. You saw the blush on her cheeks as she tried to form words, taken aback by your words.

“Y-you think I'm beautiful?” She asks in utter disbelief.

“Do I think you're beautiful? Of course I do, but more than just beautiful. You're gorgeous, you're intelligent, you're kind and caring, and an amazing mother. Wanda you are so many things I can't even begin to get into it all right now because it would take me all day to count the ways that I think you're amazing.” You confess, Wanda licks her lips and you cup her cheek.

“Please…” she pleads softly.

“Please, what beautiful?” You ask, tilting your head.

“Please kiss me.” She does not have to ask you twice as you lean down to capture her lips and suddenly it's like everything is right with the world. Like your world was in black and white, but now with this kiss you can see in color. The pieces of a puzzle coming together to fit perfectly and fireworks are going off to celebrate.

We pull apart for air, but you lean your forehead on hers. She leans up giving you small, soft pecks until you can't stand it, you lift her up by her thighs, setting her on the countertop. Keeping her just at the edge so You can grind into her. She moans into your mouth.

“Ah…ah…Y/N…Y/N/N...” fuck hearing her moan your name with that accent. You let your hand slip past her waistband finding her panties soaked as you rub through them.

“That's not fair, beautiful using my nick name like that.” You growl against her neck, trailing kissing. “There was a reason I told you not to use my nick name with those pretty lips of yours.” You had Wanda moaning and mewling for you as you pulled back to look at her. “Fuck…you are absolutely gorgeous…” You captured her lips once more, rubbing small circles against her clit through her panties.

Just as the two of you were getting into it there was a knock at the door making both of you freeze up before Wanda’s eyes went wide.

“Fuck...it’s Vis. I forgot he was coming by to finally grab the last of his things.” Wanda whispered.

“I haven’t seen him come by once all summer and now of all days!?” You whisper hiss more to the air than to Wanda as she got down from the counter.

“Just stay here. Continue with the dishes and go along with what I say, okay? Can you do that pretty girl?” She asked cupping your cheek and you nodded. Going back to the dishes keeping your back to the kitchen’s opening as you heard the two of them talking faintly before the two voices got louder and your anxiety rose.

“Wanda who is this?” He had an British accent, finally you turned around. He didn’t look happy, but you felt comfortable saying that he didn’t have any height on you and you definitely had more muscle than him. He was dressed in a suit, light brown, blonde hair, and blue eyes.

“Oh this is Y/N, Y/N Y/L/N from next door.” Wanda tells him. “She and her parents moved in at the beginning of the summer. She’s been the boys babysitter throughout the summer and she’s also helping with them after school before I get home from work.” She tells him.

“So why is she here now?” He questions, he’s clearly upset.

“Oh I was just finishing up the dishes before heading off. I have class in an hour so I told Wanda I’d take care of this so she didn’t have to stretch and bend so much.” You told him, a fake smile plastering your face.

“Well she could use the exercise.” You felt your face physically twitch at his response. Biting the inside of your lip and your fist clenching up. How fucking dare he?

“It’s no trouble at all. I really enjoy doing dishes.” You somehow manage out. Wanda is staring at me shaking her head. She must see it on your face how you just want to punch him. “Well anyways I know you two need a moment. I’ll finish up soon and head off so please don’t mind me.” Another fake smile before turning away. Grabbing the silverware as the two made their way to Wanda’s room and you finally let out growl that was deep in your throat. “Fucking bastard.” You muttered under your breath finishing up before leaving, probably slamming the door a little harder than intended, making note to apologize to Wanda tonight.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Go Billy! Go Tommy! Come on you got this boys!” You called out from the stands as they played a practice game of soccer.

“Are the twins yours?” An older woman asks.

“Oh uh, no not really, I’m good friends with their mom.” You tell her. “I pick them up from practice for her because she works late.” She nods.

“They’re lucky they get to have you cheering for them.” As she said that you turned your head back to the field as Billy took a shot and made a goal.

“BILLY! WAY TO GO BUD!” You called out as he smiled big at you.

As the boys finished up Billy ran up and you picked him up, putting him on your shoulder. “Billy Maximoff makes the goal and wins the game! The crowd goes wild!” You bounce up and down making Billy laugh. He’s come out of his shell and Tommy comes over You wrap your arm around him. “Alright boys what do we want for dinner?” You ask.

“Mac and cheese.” Tommy says.

“Chicken nuggets and fries.” Billy says.

“Okay normally I would say no to making two meals but those are both incredibly easy to make so we’ll let it slide for tonight. Let’s stop at the grocery store so I can grab some things to make for your mom and I for dinner and you two can pick out what you want.” The boys are overjoyed as you let Billy down the two scrambling to your car, getting inside as soon as you unlocked it.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Wanda gets home she mentions all the different scents as she walks to the kitchen in a lovely looking pantsuit. You smile at her in your tank top, sweat pants, and apron. “Welcome home.” You say, “It’s going to be a little bit longer for our dinner. I let the boys pick two different things for dinner. We had a hard time deciding when we were at the store if we wanted regular mac and cheese or the fun shapes for Tommy then Billy couldn’t decide if he wanted the dino nuggets or the star shaped ones and which fries he wanted to go with them.” You explain to Wanda as you move to the stove stirring the contents of a home made stew, adding a bit more of a rue to thicken it up.

Once September hits you get in the mood to make all different soups and stews. Wanda walked over, wrapping an arm around me, the boys upstairs working on their homework. You melted slightly into her.

“It seems like Daddy had a day with the boys.” She whispered in your ear, making you throw your head back against her shoulder, rolling your eyes to her,

“Oh don’t do that right now. I can’t even take you right now.”

“All the more fun later when you can.” She kisses you quickly. You groan in response, You were impatient and wanted her now after your little interruption this morning.

“I’m sorry about this morning. I almost jumped the island when he made that comment.” You apologized.

“No it’s okay. He isn’t wrong.” You turn your whole body to face Wanda now, backing her into the island. “Y-Y/N?”

“Don’t. Don’t you even for a second entertain his idiotic, red flag walking, ass of comments about your appearance. Remember what I said this morning? You’re beautiful and gorgeous and so many other things Wanda. Please don’t listen to his words.” Your hands are gripping at her hips, You swear You might leave bruises from how tight you’re holding her right now.

“Y/N...” Her voice is breathy. You lean in and whisper in her ear.

“Tonight I’ll show you just how beautiful I think you are and I’m not going to stop until you agree.” You kiss her jaw just by her ear as you hear the oven go off. “Oh that would be Billy’s nuggets and fries!” You turn on a dime turning back into the house-dad role you’d been in, leaving Wanda reeling as you pull them out, taking one nugget and fry to test them. “Okay those are done for him,” You look at the mac and cheese in the shape of SpongeBob characters, “That is also all done.” You take a taste of the stew, “Mmmm needs a little more paprika.” You mumble, taking a pinch and adding it.

“My favorite.” Wanda kisses your shoulder.

You get everything set up with Wanda and call the boys down for dinner. As you all sit down and start eating you tell Billy to tell his mom about practice today. Wanda being thrilled to hear about it.

Soon enough it’s 8pm and the two of you are tucking the boys into bed. You tuck in Tommy, Wanda gets Billy then you switch. “Mommy? Y/N?” Billy asks as the two of you are at the threshold of their bedroom.

“Yes Billy?” Wanda answers for us.

“Now that you and Daddy aren’t together anymore are you and Y/N going to get together?” Billy asks and Tommy laughs.

“Billy they’ve been together all summer!” He answers his brother and you chuckle. Wanda give you a playful smack.

“Boys, Y/N and I aren’t together. Yes she spends a lot of time here, but her and I are still figuring things out. Daddy and I just ended things so Mommy would like to be able to think about things.” You knew Wanda was making excuses, but it still hurt a bit.

“We’ll let you boys know if anything happens. If fact you two will be the first to know, okay?” You tell them, both of them smiling, looking at each other.

The two of you were finally able to leave the two alone, you head back down stairs while Wanda goes and takes a shower. You clean up the mess of the kitchen, loading the dishwasher and cleaning up papers from the boys, take out the trash.

All while thinking about what Wanda said, having your music playing just loud enough that You wouldn’t disturb the boys. The song ‘Nothing Hurts Like a Girl’ starts playing and I’m singing and dancing while cleaning up.

“I hope you aren’t singing about me.” You hear Wanda’s voice, making you jump, gripping the counter.

“Jesus fuck!” You hiss. “Don’t sneak up on me.” She laughs as the song continues to play. “Also excuse you that is a song about loving woman and yes also about getting hurt by them, but damn it women are hot and a shit ton better than any guy I’ve been with.” You admit Wanda crosses the kitchen until her body is pressed against yours, she isn’t wearing a bra, a loose shirt and sleep shorts.

“How many people have you been with?” She asks and you feel like this has to be a trick question. “I won’t get upset. I don’t mind if you’ve been with a lot of people.” She reassures, wrapping her arms around your waist.

“Promise?” Wanda nods. It takes you a moment, tilting your head back as You list them in your head, using your fingers to keep track. “Uh off the top of my head, not including nights where I blacked out and woke up with someone 10.” Wanda looks surprised, but not upset.

“All your age?” She asks and you nod.

“Yeah nothing ever lasted all that long. It’s like I had this attraction until I had them I guess. Then I’d kiss them and be like nah this isn’t it, but I’d still end up sleeping with them. I usually wouldn’t even let them touch me.” You find yourself explaining to her. “With you though it’s been different. Your touch feels addictive, it’s like fire dancing on my skin. I can’t get enough of you. I felt like I was broken before I met you.” You tell her, looking into her eyes.

She blushes and laughs letting me guide her and kiss her getting her up on the counter next song to come on is perfect, ‘Taste of You’

You let your hand into her shorts brushing her clit, “Y/N/N don’t you dare tease me right now.” She growls in your ear and your eyes roll back.

“Oh beautiful it’s cute that you think you’re in charge.” You put pressure on her clit. “You aren’t calling the shots right now; I am. You were the one that called me Daddy earlier beautiful.” You let your teeth scrap her neck, nibbling on her ear lobe. “Daddy’s in charge. Understood?” Wanda nods, “Words beautiful.”

“Yes Daddy.” She speaks softly, voice shaking.

“You’ve never done it like this have you beautiful?” You ask, picking her up by her thighs which she’s a little surprised You can do still as You bring her to the couch, sitting with her in your lap. She shakes her head, cheeks turning scarlet. “I’ll be gentle and you tell me if you want it harder or faster. You can set the pace. I like to use the color system of safe words. Green means you’re okay and we can keep going, yellow is slow down, red is stop no questions asked.” You explain and her face gets even more red, burying her face into your neck, making you smile. “Can you repeat the colors for me beautiful?” You ask while rubbing her through her panties, feeling how wet she’s getting from just talking about all this.

“Green is keep going, yellow is slow down, red is stop.” She repeats.

“Good girl. Can you tell Daddy what you want?” You ask softly in her ear.

“I-inside...” You push her panties to the side, letting your fingers slide over her wet folds, enjoying them until she’s shaking a bit, pushing two fingers inside her pussy, your fingers being wrapped up in her as she moans against your skin.

“You’re absolutely soaked beautiful. You took Daddy’s fingers so well.” You kiss her neck.

“M-more...” She whines.

“You want another finger?” she nods.

“F-fill me up Daddy...” You add a third finger moving a bit faster and a bit rougher instinctively. She bites into your shoulder to stop a moan ripping through her. Her hips are rocking against your fingers as she bites and sucks on your skin. You knew she was leaving marks on your skin.

“Oh that’s my beautiful girl. Look at you moving against Daddy’s fingers so well. Maybe next time you can take Daddy’s cock, would you like that? Daddy to fill you with her cock?” Wanda moans, nodding as she covers her mouth. If the boys weren’t asleep upstairs you’d be upset with her for stopping her moans like she was.

“Yes...yes Daddy, please...I’m gonna cum...” Her eyes are blown out from lust,

“Not until you tell me you’re beautiful.” You slow your movements much to her dismay, mewling, moving her hips to try and keep the high going. “Tell me that you’re beautiful and I’ll let you cum and we can keep going until you tell me to stop.” You tell her, she bites her lip.

“I-I’m beautiful...Daddy I’m beautiful, Daddy’s beautiful girl.” You smile, leaning up to kiss her.

“That’s right beautiful girl. Now cum for Daddy.” You pick your pace back up until she has to once again muffle herself by biting into your skin. You feel her tighten against your fingers, gushing, but you don’t let up your movements,

“D-Daddy...I came...” You smirk.

“I know beautiful girl. You can give Daddy another, right?” You ask and her head nods. “Good girl.” You keep your movements up making her cum again, soaking your hand and thigh. She’s a shaking mess in your lap. “Such a beautiful good girl. Daddy is so lucky.” You whisper holding her against your chest. You keep whispering praises in her ear, she’s moving her hips against your thigh, rutting into it and you chuckle. “Oh my beautiful girl do you still need more?” You ask and she looks up at you, you can see it in her eyes. You’ve dropped her so deep into subspace, somewhere she’s never been.

“More Daddy please...it’s been so long since I’ve cum...please...” She begs pulling at your shirt, tugging it up over your head, your breast bouncing a bit as she leans down, playing and sucking and biting.

“Mmmm good girl.” You let your head tilt back against the couch. You’ve never felt like this with someone and it sinks in that you never actually loved any of those people. Well you loved some of them, but not like this. Not like how it feels with Wanda.

Wanda’s hand finds its way past your panties as she continues to rut against your thigh, rubbing you as you let out a breathy moan. “Good girl. Make Daddy feel good while you rub against her.”

Wanda builds you up along with herself until we cum together. You have to cover her mouth as she doesn’t have the thought process right now to do so herself.

You slowly pull her out of subspace, getting her off of your thigh, grabbing a nice fluffy blanket, grabbing some water for both of us, and turning on a comfort show of Wanda’s as you pull her back against your chest.

“You did good for your first session Wands.” You tell her, kissing the top of her head. You can see her smile before she looks up at me.

“Y/N?” She asks.

“Wanda?” You tease back, kissing her nose.

“I love you.” Your breath hitches in your throat. “When you had me admit that I was beautiful. I knew that you meant what you said all day. I actually think I’ve loved you for a while, but it wasn’t until that moment that I realized it fully.” She rambles and you pull her into a deep, passionate kiss.

“I love you too Wanda. I’ve love you basically since I met you, but seeing you like this for me, making me feel good like no one ever has...I can’t deny it anymore.” You feel tears pricking the sides of your eyes and blink them away. “I don’t care that you’re older than me. I don’t care that you’ve already got kids, I don’t care that you’re divorced. Wanda Maximoff I love you and no one is going to stop me from loving you.” You admit. “I want to be here every day with you, with the boys, with this little bundle on the way. I want us to be a family.” Wanda is crying and smiling and You kiss her cheeks. “I mean it Wanda. I promise.” She nods.

“I want it too Y/N. I want you here with us. I want you to help me with the boys and live life together if you’re sure you want all of this with me.”

“I do.” You kiss her with everything that you are.

[purifiedclitoris69]

In it together

Hiii. I am alive, just very busy and overwhelmed with living ig. College fucking sucks and so does everything else rn, but figured i get a lil blurb out before i have to lock back into my classes. hope you enjoy!! don’t really know what ima do w my series or when ima update so i am sorry bout that LOL. anyway bye for now 👋👋

You were absolutely exhausted. A 2 week mission with only 3 hours of sleep total takes an intense toll, even if you are a super soldier. Letting the burning hot water run down your back , flashes of the recent mission ran through your mind. The experiment files were horrific, so many deaths, so many children.

You had only been at the compound for about a year and a half now, the team rescuing you from Hydra’s control like Bucky. You were free of the brainwash but not of the memories and this long ass mission had brought it all right back to the surface. It was getting better, your in therapy, bonding with the team, learning how to control your strength, your growing. But this mission, feels like it’s all about to come crumbling down. It made you feel sick. Thoughts of losing yourself, the team… of losing, Natasha, it burned your throat.

What you have with Natasha is confusing, complicated, but nice. No one else knows the true nature of it but you two. Falling into each others beds continuously for the past 8 months, staying tangled in each other, every single night, cuddling, and giggling like little teen girls. The team simply thought you guys were close friends, both you two being spies, it wasn’t too hard to hide your extracurriculars. But you both knew it was more, so much more. You held each other in the most gentlest ways…the most loving, opting not to leave one another when you guys inevitably came undone. In front of the team, you had a front, a quiet brooding one, but with her, it was peaceful, relieving, you felt free, like yourself. It was absolutely terrifying.

Not realizing it tears were beginning to mix with the water running down your face and crescent marks formed in your palms from clenching your fists too hard. You love her. You’re in love with her, but how could you tell her, would you. Your whole life you’ve been used as a weapon, serving for the military, then hydra. You were dangerous…a monster. It was late, almost 2 am, you couldn’t go to her now, she need rest, not a burden. no matter how much you yearned for her warmth. Turning off the burning water, you stepped out into the steam filled bathroom. Drying off, you wrapped the towel around your waist and another draped over your shoulders, you opened the door to your bedroom-on your bed sat Nat. Dark circles surrounded her eyes, her hair was slightly ruffled, she wore an old shirt of yours, and some of her loose sleep shorts. She looked absolutely stunning, you couldn’t help but give a soft tired smile.

“hi.” she spoke softly with a matching smile.

“hi,” you answered stopped in place just taking her in.

“you gonna get dressed,” she smirked tiredly, “tho i don’t mind.”

“oh really” you joked walking over to her and cupping her face as she looked up at you, “i missed you,” you spoke softly the tiredness bringing out a transparency.

She leaned into your hand closing her eyes, “i missed you,” she answered. Your heart swelled and the flashes came back, you could hurt her, what if you lose it. Suddenly taking a step back her cheek still warm from your touch, her eyes flew open. You turned your back, getting dressed by your closet, “is everything okay,” she asked as you pulled your tank top over your head and braced yourself against your dresser.

You opened your mouth unsure what you wanted her to know, “yeah,” was all you could muster.

“I really did miss you,” she walked up behind you wrapping her arms around your waist and leaning her check against your back, just enjoying your smell, “i don’t sleep well without you anymore.”

“me either,” you turned around wrapping your own arms around her middle and looking to the side as hers went to your neck, “it was a rough mission,” you mumbled

“oh, baby,” she spoke, moving her hands to your face this time, “look at me please,” your eyes were burning with unshed tears as they met her soft deep green ones, “oh, my love, it’s okay,” she brought your head down to her shoulder as you released a shaky breath and let your arms fall from around her waist, “is there something else,” she asked dropping her own hands. You walked past her to sit on the bed not really sure where to start as you looked at your hands in your lap, “we don’t have to talk about it, it’s okay,” she spoke sitting beside you and gently take your hands in her own.

You finally looked back at her face, your eyes still glossy. You stared deep into each others eyes, “you’re so beautiful, Natasha,” you said memorizing every detail of her. She laughed quietly as a soft blush rose to her face.

“Shut up,” she said putting her forehead against hers.

She closed her eyes at the action as yours remained open, “I mean it, you’re the prettiest girl there is.”

Her blush grew as she pulled back and looked away slightly, “god i love you,” she mumbled out casually bringing shock to both your faces. She immediately pulled her hands away and stood from the bed, her mouth opening and closing unsure what to say as you looked at her, overwhelmed with emotions, “y/n i’m sorry i-“

“You do?” you asked getting up from the bed with her, “you love me?”

“I..” She spoke uncertain, taking a deep breath in, “y/n i’m in love with you.” You laughed slightly in disbelief. You moved towards her with purpose grabbing her waist and pulling her into a bruising kiss, pouring every amount of love into it as possible, like it was the last time, like you were consumed by everything Natasha. You both grinned wide into the kiss, forcing the two of you to break apart.

Taking a deep breath, “Tasha, I..,” the thoughts all came rushing back. Your going to hurt her, you don’t deserve this love, your going to lose it all.

She moved her hands down from your neck to intertwine with your own, “I know,” she whispered.

“I really do,” you said, your foreheads still pressed together, “I..,” your mouth fell open and closed absolutely terrified to say something wrong, “Im just scared,” you mumbled, closing your eyes, but never dropping your hold.

“Don’t be,” she answered, moving her hands back up to cup your face, “we’re in this together.”

[itsmealaiah]

"From top to bottom"

TW: handjob, degradation kink, multiple orgasms, handjob, sub tom, dom! reader, profanity, nudity, semi-public sex (you're in a hotel room where anyone could here you), AFAB reader, she/her pronouns, head (tom rec), potential mommy kink

Request: reader degrading 2008 tom

Rating: mature themes, explicit sexual situations

WC: 1.1k

Tom had always been the dominant one in your relationship, but you had to want something different.

Sure, the sex was always amazing, he knew exactly what to do to pleasure you fully, but lately? It had grown boring. The same exact thing night after night, and you wanted a change.

You were on tour with the band, tom had desperately wanted to take you with him because he missed you too much, and you were the same way. You both were attached at the hip, always touching, kissing, laughing, or having sex.

So to spend six to eight months without one another was not on either of your bingo cards. You were both lying on the hotel room bed, cuddling and kissing as a movie played softly in the background, but you both were too busy to notice what it exactly was, nor did you care.

It was another one of the nights where you'd both be panting, gasping for breath as the room would smell of sex, sweat, and desire, and you didn't mind it. Your hands were all over him, under his shirt, in his hair, on his neck, everywhere they could reach.

His hands had more skill, one was on your neck, the other groping your ass as you moaned into his mouth, his tongue delving into it, fighting with your own as his eyes were squished shut. The hand on your neck moved to the back of your head, and pushed your skull closer to his, noses squeezing together as he licked your lips.

He began to slip off his shirt, breaking the kiss as you whined. His chest was now exposed, his pants and boxers following the same path of his shirt as he leaned over you, his arms pinning you on each side on your head.

You inwardly groaned. You wanted to do more than just the regular sex you engaged in. You put a hand to his chest, stopping him as he looked down at you with lust-blown eyes.

"what's wrong?" he asked, his eyes widening in surprise. You weren't one to refuse sex, especially from him. "can we try something different?" he cocked an eyebrow. "like what?" he questioned, still on top of you. "maybe i make you feel good?" you proposed, and he thought on the idea.

It didn't sound so bad, but being submissive was not his style, nor his strongsuit. He preferred to make the girl feel good. "Please?" you begged, giving him innocent, wide eyes. "fine" he agreed, and flipped you over.

You smiled, and kissed his lips, your hand slowly trailing down his stomach, tracing small lines on his lower abdomen as his lips faltered, your fingertips drifting down just a bit further, reaching the bottom of his cock, beginning to pump it in your hand.

He moaned, and you grinned wickedly. "you like that good boy?" he nodded, seemingly pleading for more as his eyes were shut, your mouth working against his neck, finding his sweet spot.

Your hand rubbed up and down tom's cock as your teeth and tongue left multiple purple marks on his neck, whorish moans flying out of his mouth loudly as you continued to pleasure him. "you're doing so good for mommy" you muttered against his soft skin.

He flushed, his face turning a dark red shade. He was kinda into it, the whole submissive thing, even for his first time. Your head dipped down, seeing his aching cock in your hand. You kissed the tip, pre-cum already dripping from it. "my little pretty slut, you're so good for me, look at you, all wrecked"

It was red and veiny, standing up straight in your hand as you swirled your tongue around the mushroom pink top, your mouth devouring only that part as his eyes flew open, his hands grabbing onto the sheets. He whimpered, he was experiencing too much at one time. "you taste so sweet, so sweet for mommy" you giggled, the sound reverbrating onto his cock as he groaned.

"f-fuck" he moaned. Your lips wrapped around his cock halfway, taking more into your mouth, hollowing out your cheeks. He jerked his hips up, your nose hitting his pubes as you momentarily lost your breath.

"m-mama" his hands grabbed at your hair, but you shooed them away, gagging on his cock as little whimpers left his throat. 'no touching, okay? if you do, i can't let you cum" you looked up at him to make sure he understood. "o-okay" you teased his balls, licking them up, pinning his cock to his abdomen as he whined, his head thrashing back and forth.

You eventually got the rest into your mouth, and he moaned loudly, feeling his release coming hard and fast. His balls began to feel heavy as you bobbed your head up and down, holding your hair back as you deepthroated him. "my little pretty slut, you're so good for me, look at you, all wrecked"

Your lips were wrapped around his thick cock, pleasuring him nicely as his aching cock began to twitch in your mouth, signaling he was coming. His tip hit the back of your throat, and he threw his head back, shooting his load into your mouth. You eagerly swallowed up his cum, licking up the sides as he struggled to stay still, body jerking and reeling from the pleasure as he came down from his high.

You didn't stop, your tongue was swirling around his cock, and it flattened under his shaft. He was whimpering for you to stop, his tummy starting to hurt. You looked into his eyes once more, tears pouring from your own as he watched you torture his sensitive cock, already soft from just one orgasm.

"m-mama!" he cried out, begging for you to cease your torture on him, it being too much. He felt so so much pleasure, and his legs began to shake once more, his cock twitching as you watched him fall apart again, his eyes shutting close as he yelled, his noises turning to soft whimpers. You took your mouth off of him, and gave him a little kiss.

He tasted himself on your lips, but he didn't mind. "t-thank you mama" he breathed, holding onto you. His body was covered in sweat. You grabbed some tissues, and cleaned his cock up, as well as his balls. "you did so, so good for mama baby" you kissed his nose, throwing the tissues away.

"yay" he mumbled, falling asleep, his face buried in your waist.

Taglist 1: @madzandmore @20doozers @itsangelll @charliesgoodboy

Taglist 2: @tokio-motel @tomssexdoll @kqulitzlvr @tomsonlyslut

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[kerokerokook]

the rebound girl: chapter two

pairing: nerd pro-gamer jeongguk x reader

word count: 25.5k wtf

warnings for this chapter: oc just goes for it, jeongguk is hot as usual, lots of kissing, finally some smut, first time, virgin jk!, subby jk! with dom! reader at first but that changes, oral (m. receiving), oral fixation, fingering, jeongguk does the lower stomach trick from tiktok (iykyk), he's a little shit but it's okay.

other tags: lots of overthinking, oc goes back and forth a whole bunch (she's confused and hurt ok), jeongguk is a giant MF green flag (obvi), vmin and 2yeon being chaotically gay ofc, some brief physics mentioned, a bit of angst, oc has been hurt in her teen years.

a/n: sorry this took 9 million years but ya girl just got into her masters program!! hopefully, i can update this once/twice a month? maybe even more but, that's the plan!

enjoy :)

<3 mal

original post

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The first day of school hit you in the face like a speeding fourteen-wheel truck. 

Okay, that’s a bit of an exaggeration because you’ve known the date since the beginning of summer break but time flew by so quickly that you couldn’t believe September was starting and another school year was too. 

Soon, you’ll graduate and get a job and move on from all of the shit you’ve gone through to become a whole adult. It’s terrifying yet exciting all at once. 

Fortunately, you picked out your outfit last night: baggy blue jeans, a white cropped tank top and an oversized black corduroy button up shirt. It’s simple and comfy which you always prefer for school outfits. Simple gold jewelry sits on your neck and in your ears and you keep your hair back with a clear claw clip. You keep your makeup light, being that you’ll be back home in a few hours where you’ll just slip back into your pajamas and do nothing for the rest of the day.

While packing your things, you make sure to tuck Jeongguk’s t-shirt that you’ve washed and his umbrella into your backpack, then give Snowball her last few pets for the day while checking her food and water bowl. 

“I’ll be back in a few hours cutie,” you coo, scratching underneath her chin. Her head tilts up, a content smile on her cute face, eyes shut while pushing into your touch.

Adopting Snowball sort of just happened. You were lonely last Winter break after a guy you met in your Economic Growth Seminar had moved on and your mom was talking about how your neighbor’s cat just had a litter of kittens. Thankfully, your landlord was okay with pets and boom, there was a little fluff ball making your day better little by little. After a long day, there was nothing you liked doing more than stroking her soft fur and listening to music or throwing a movie on while she purrs right next to you. She’s a great comfort to you and your friends love her too.

Tearfully, you rip yourself away from your little baby and step outside of your comfortable apartment. The hallway is empty at this time. Your building has mostly college students and a few bachelors and bachelorettes here and there so it’s surprising that no one else is walking out at the same time as you. But that’s fine. No polite greetings necessary. You put your headphones in, play some music and begin your trek to school. 

Living one subway ride away from university is a privilege. It never takes you that long to get to class and it’s easy to get back home. It’s the best thing about living here. 

Plus in the springtime, the blossoms decorate the streets with little pink petals and it’s a sight to see. 

On the way down the subway steps, you check your schedule once more just to be sure of your class load today. You have a 9am lecture, then an 11:30am lecture and then a discussion at 1:45 but those only start the second week of school every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, you have classes from 8am-3pm which sounds like ass now that you think about it. 

Fuck, were you drunk when you selected these courses? 

You shake your head. Whatever, not like there’s much you can do now, right? At least you’ll be busy so less time to mess around. 

Your walk down the steps continues and you shove your phone into your jean pocket as you rush over to make the train before your first class, taking out your metro-card.

After dodging some lethargic businessmen and starstruck tourists, you manage to reach the train with a few seconds to spare. There’s a towards the back so you quickly walk over and grab the handle when there’s a vibration against your ass. 

Confused, you pull your phone out. It’s probably a tiktok sent to you by Jeongyeon of a cat with a funny filter on or something but the screen shows the message icon and you use FaceID to unlock your phone to see who the sender was.

It’s a text from Jeongguk. 

jeon jeongguk

hey

do you want to give me the stuff outside the engineering building?

maybe around 1? 

by stuff i mean my shirt and umbrella

You smile to yourself. The fact that he felt the need to explain what he meant by stuff is unbelievably adorable to you. 

me 

sure, i’ll be there :) 

You almost wonder what Jeongguk’s schedule is like but you stop yourself quickly. You tried to not to think too much about him on Sunday when you got back. It was enough that his sweet smelling shirt was on your body and you still had the lingering imprint of his hug on your skin but now that you know he  goes to the same school, you’ll become more interested and you can’t. Jeongguk isn’t going to be the next boy to occupy your mind. 

This year is going to be different. You won’t be the rebound girl anymore, you won’t sleep with guys from your school, and you won’t give in. 

After everything that went down with Wooshik, it’s just better for you to distance yourself from this stupid label of rebound girl. It’s done nothing but hurt you and worsen your relationship with the people in your department. First year you were hanging out and eating with them and now all you have are Nayeon and Jeongyeon. Not that you don’t like them but you just hate what being the rebound girl has done to your college life.

Your mother used to say your college years are your prime years to be young and stupid and learn about life. 

But college is nothing special to you. The classes are harder, people are smarter, meaner, better, and all you can do is push yourself to do the best that you can. Sometimes it’s enough, sometimes it isn’t. Your friends are great and you’ve made some good memories, but so far, college isn’t that coming-of-age life lesson that your mother always talked about. 

You’re not particularly upset about it. You just wished you could do more. Live your life without eyes all over you and whispers at every mistake. 

As the train lets you off at your spot, you make sure to triple check your schedule for the day so you know where you’re going after your first class. 

9am is your Macroeconomics lecture in the Economics building which is fine. Your professor is nice and the class seems interesting enough that you know you’ll do well. Mostly test based which won’t be a problem because economics is your thing. You’ve been studying it diligently for three years now so you can confidently say that. 

But 11:30 is your worst nightmare: physics. 

This is all your fault. Nayeon told you to get all of your general education requirements out of the way quickly your first and second year so that you wouldn’t have to worry about them later but you didn’t listen. 

Look, science is simply not your thing. High school courses were hell on earth thanks to your asshole of a Chemistry teacher. You managed to gaslight yourself into thinking math was easy enough as long as you studied like a mad person and got those requirements out of the way but science is hell on earth for you. Your university requires one life science and two physical sciences. Life science was an easy choice: zoology. You got to learn about cute animals and watch videos about them. First semester of your first year was easy. 

Then you decided to take Geology for physical science during your second semester. It sounded easy but memorizing all of those different rock formations was starting to wear you out from the inside. Somehow you managed a B. And after that, it was either meteorology, astronomy, or some form of physics since every other course required you to be enrolled in the Physical Sciences department or have some prerequisite that you didn’t want to take. None of the options sounded appealing to you so you put it off until now. Then, when the realization hit that you had only one more year after this to make up for all of those credits, you decided astronomy might be the best choice after reading some professor reviews. 

Only for you to sleep through registration and wake up in a frenzy to find the class completely full. 

Yeah, you almost started crying.

So physics it was and, how wonderful, the only class available was with an unlikeable teacher that has a horrible rating. Amazing. 

Panic floods your system as you walk into the large lecture hall. You aim for a seat in the middle, take out your supplies, and start diligently listening. Your professor is a stout, sad, little man who is trying to improve his professor score online so thankfully, he says he’s going to be more lenient when it comes to tests but demands that homework be turned in on time otherwise points will be deducted. Fair enough. You could do that. 

But then he starts going into course material. 

Energy; alright. 

Motion; cool. 

Thermodynamics; okay.

Optics; excuse me?

Electromagnetism; sound the alarms. 

This class is going to kill you. Even if it’s Physics 1 and your class is filled with mostly underclassmen, you know you won’t grasp the concepts easily with all of your other classes weighing down on your head. There’s so much to do and so little time to do it all. 

“.. previous students of mine have so graciously offered tutoring hours so if any of you are confused, I highly recommend meeting up with them and going over concepts. They have taken my tests before so they know what to expect. It is the best way to ensure you do well.”

Most of the students behind you have gone to sleep or started scrolling through their phones but you have a lightbulb moment. 

Perfect, okay. All you have to do is check the list of tutors online and schedule appointments with them. Shouldn’t be that bad.  Another thing to be strict about. 

This is just what you wanted: a tight enough schedule to keep you too busy to think about anything else.

Once class is over, you pack all of your things and check your phone once more. Jeongguk said he’d be outside the engineering building which is close to the physical sciences building. The time reads 12:50pm so you have some time to make your way outside. 

So far, the first day has ended and it’s gone pretty well. You’ll go back home, create a strict study table on your Notion, rent all of your books and then relax for the rest of the day. Then the rest of this week should be smooth sailing as you get into the groove with your new professors. Nayeon and Jeongyeon are going to meet you at your place for home-cooked dinner this Friday( a little first week back tradition) which you’re excited for.  You should look up some recipes and make sure Nayeon stays out of your kitchen so she won’t blow anything up. That girl is incapable of not making a disaster in the kitchen. 

You sigh through your nose, studying the sights you see on campus. Various students walking in small triplets or duos. The occasional lone wolf with headphones on to block out the world. Some clubs are putting up posters or setting up tables to grab first years as they explore campus. The path that is currently running outside the STEM buildings break off into various courtyards and cafes where students of all departments come to chill or cut through to go to their other classes. 

It’s about to be a great scenic walk just until you run into Wooshik and his buddies as they’re exiting a café with drinks in their hands. 

Kill me now. 

You pause like a deer in headlights when you make eye contact with him, stopping midway so your lips can part as your entire body goes stuff. 

Now, more than anything, you really wish you were walking with someone. 

“Hey,” Wooshik forces out, crossing his arms over his chest. His polo shirt is open enough to show a random cluster of dark hickeys from the middle of his throat to the beginning of his chest. Real subtle. 

Before seeing that, you were thinking about apologizing but now, not so much. 

“Hi,” your tone is short. You can feel eyes dance over your body, the swell of your breasts and the sliver of skin revealed between your crop top and pants from one of his creepy pals behind him and you have half a mind to kick him in the balls. 

Wooshik’s eyes bounce back and he juts his face forward like he’s waiting for you to say something to him but you keep your lips perfectly sealed. If he wants an apology, he can wait until he’s dead. His other friends exchange weird looks at the lack of conversation going on between you two, probably wondering if this standoff is going to linger forever. 

It makes you wonder what Wooshik told them. 

Guys love having their ego fluffed. If they get rejected by a girl, they’ll tell their best friends that she was an ugly slut or they’ll flip the story to say that they rejected her to save face. The last thing they want their friends to know is that a girl rejected them. It dims their coolness. However, you really don’t give a fuck about Wooshik looking cool in front of his boys. If anything, you revel in the cutting deflation he’ll feel when you tell them the truth. 

“Did you get the wine out of your shirt?” You ask innocently. “I should’ve aimed it more towards your face and less towards your clothes.” Shrugging, a satisfied smile grows on your lips. 

Wooshik’s ears turn red. “I–” he cuts eye contact as his friends snicker behind him. You watch in satisfaction as his expression changes from surprised to annoyed to angry. “You know what, fuck you. You ruined my shirt. I had to take that hot waitress back to my place instead of a hotel so I didn’t reek of wine.”  

You scoff immediately. “Damn and I was trying to do her a favor. But congrats, looks like you got your tiny dick wet for two minutes.” You start to clap. One of his friends chokes back a splutter of laughter at the jab. 

Wooshik wasn’t anything amazing but you sort of expected that. Most of your hookups are satisfactory. They get the job done and they give up. As stupid as it sounds, you’ve always gone above and beyond to pleasure someone. There’s something amazing about making your partner feel good but most men see sex in a selfish lens. 

For most guys, sex means sticking their dick in and sloshing it around a few times until they feel good. Boom, sex over. 

Now, if they want to make you feel good, it still won’t be about you. Orgasms are like points. They don’t get off on your pleasure but more on the fact that they’re so amazing at sex that you experienced pleasure. Another way to fluff their egos. 

For once, you’d wish for a guy to actually care about you and your pleasure in an unselfish way, the same way you do for them. 

Wooshik stumbles for a moment but he jumps back quickly to get you too. Especially with all of his boys watching. 

“You didn’t seem to complain about it at first. What, changed your mind because I didn’t want you anymore?” 

Oh, please. A plastic vibrator has done more for you than he ever will. 

You laugh sardonically. “No, I just felt bad for you.” You say it wholeheartedly and it's the most truthful you’ve ever been with him. 

His friends then burst into giggles and snickers, shoving him around when he fails to retort, left dumbfounded by the sheer audacity of you but you don’t care. You don’t get to see the look on Wooshik’s face but you don’t care. The laughter is your cue to leave him. 

 That chapter of your life is over now and you won’t ever have to deal with him again. The last man you’ll let trample all over you the minute you show them some sympathy. 

All you can hope is that the pesky nickname that’s been poisoning you since your first year college can fade away into obscurity forever and ever. 

Then, you can just be you. No label, no nickname, no reputation. Just a regular college senior. 

The walk to the engineering building is lighter now. You feel like one of the falling petals gently flying through the sky from the branch down to the ground. A new journey begins and you can’t wait for it. 

After another minute of walking, you reach the engineering building. Painted a soft brown with tons of posters and clubs waiting to talk to students. You dodge all of them to head inside where Jeongguk is waiting by a random classroom. You navigate through the crowd until you finally locate a  mop of gorgeous dark hair and bright clear eyes. 

He’s facing his phone screen, one leg crossed over the other, but you’re still mesmerized by him. Beauty is in simplicity but with a face like that, Jeongguk could wear a burlap sack and make it work. But currently, he’s dressed in baggy gray cargos and a dark blue long-sleeve shirt with some brand name logo on it. The urge to sigh like a satisfied cartoon character is intense. 

You hate and love it at the same time. How on earth can he look so boyfriend without trying? 

“Hey, Jeongguk,” you call softly, taking short strides towards him, hoping that your hair looks good and not like a frizzy mess from the wind. 

His head pops up, glimmering eyes like two black pools of water gazing back at you. Then a soft grin forms on his lips, skin creasing, dimpling, and cute. 

“Hey.” Jeongguk tucks his phone into his pants pocket. His perfume wafts over to you the moment he moves, welcoming you like a warm hug after a long day. 

You want to bury your nose in it and never forget the smell. 

“Sorry, I got caught up with something on the way here. Were you waiting for a while?”

“Nah, I’ve been here for like two minutes. Did you bring it?” He adjusts his bag for a moment. 

“Yep.” You hand him the shirt, neatly folded and smelling of your fabric softener, along with the umbrella tied. “All clean.” A cute smile grows on his face as he gently takes the items and puts it in his bag, humming excitedly under his breath which makes your entire body warm. “Listen, are you off for the rest of the day?” 

“Yeah, I have all morning classes on Mondays and Wednesdays. You?”  

“Same and it just so happens that I needed a walking buddy to the subway station.”  You take the first step towards the exit when he agrees with a short chuckle and a nod. Your apartment building is one stop away while Jeongguk is about four stops away so you won’t get to talk much but the sentiment is what matters. 

Plus, all you really want is to be close to him and his family again. There was a real bond going on when you were young and now you’ve been handed a golden chance to reignite that spark. 

Fresh air fills your lungs while your ears pick up on the sounds of fading conversations, the smell of food and new school supplies greets your nose. You have yet to reach the economics building, where more people know you, so people here aren’t staring just yet. They’re preoccupied with their own lives and you want to appreciate it for a little longer. 

“By the way, thanks for Saturday. I’m sure dealing with five drunk weirdos must’ve been annoying,” you add. 

You barely remember the words coming out of your mouth. It was a slew of garbled song lyrics, high thoughts and giggles and that’s the best you can do. There’s no way Jeongguk was walking out of the night sane.  

He huffs out a laugh and then shakes his hair out of his eyes in a very attractive manner. “It was… well, it was something, I’ll tell you that much. But you don’t have to apologize. I don’t mind.” Then Jeongguk looks at you with his chin tilted down, lids low, almost glazed over like he’s checking you out but his gaze just dances over the features of your face. 

You get incredibly shy with him staring at you like that. 

Let’s hope you aren’t turning tomato red right now. 

“Jimin and Tae go out a lot so I’m used to making sure they don’t, like, die.” 

Jeongguk is like Jeongyeon in that sense. Always taking care of people and making sure they are safe in bed before worrying about themselves. Sometimes, she forgets that she’s allowed to have fun and let loose too and you don’t want Jeongguk to fall into the same mindset. Being the caretaker all the time can be draining. 

“I mean, it’s your birthday and the rest of us were getting fucked up. Usually, it’s the other way around.” 

Your 20th was nothing short of a hot mess. Nayeon snuck in bottles she got her older brother to buy and you tried to take a shot from every single type he brought. Whiskey, vodka, soju, sake, and beer. Safe to say, that was a rookie mistake that ended up hunched over a toilet bowl  for almost an hour. Nayeon held your hair while Jeongyeon ordered just enough carbs and hangover soup to make it all better. 

But it was a memory you hold dear to you because it was one of the last moments you felt like it was okay for you to be a stupid teenager and make a mistake.

Jeongguk didn’t get that moment and you want him to because that sloppy behavior won’t be cute when he’s in his late 20s or early 30s. 

“I didn’t want to,” he shrugs simply. “Drinking is sorta fun but I don’t love it and I never let myself get super drunk.” You want to ask why but Jeongguk continues speaking. “But we had cake and barbecue before coming to the club and my parents sent a care package, so it was a good birthday. Taking care of you guys didn’t ruin everything.” 

You relent a little. Perceptions of fun are different after all and maybe, for Jeongguk, he got exactly what he wanted so he isn’t complaining. The residual guilt fades slowly inside of you.

“As long as you enjoyed your birthday,” you sigh, a wave of something sentimental coming over you causes your heels to raise up so you can be tall enough to ruffle his fluffy perfect hair. The same boy who only dressed in Pokémon shirts is now legal, old enough to do whatever he wants, and you’re starting to feel a little soft about it. “Can’t believe you’re twenty!” You squeal. “You’re all grown up!” 

Jeongguk cringes, turning away from your constant pinches and prods and whining as a few eyes drift towards the two of you. His ears get the tiniest bit red but he doesn’t scold you so you continue teasing him. 

“Remember when you used to hand draw all of my birthday cards with little cartoons and you and Eunchae would come with my mom and I to look at all of the cakes at the store?”

The filmstrip of memories is painfully nostalgic. That one nice cake store a few streets away from your apartment building that made the best cakes. If you close your eyes, you can smell the sugary air as you walk in, a tinkling bell on the door to let the owners know someone was there, and the various cakes put in the display case. You always got the fudgiest chocolate cake with bright red strawberries on top. Your mom could only afford the small size but that was fine. You just wanted a cake. 

Jeongguk would come with you and press his face to the glass in complete awe. Sometimes, the three of you would pretend like you were rich people who got to buy big cakes whenever they pleased and you’d pick the biggest sizes of your favorite flavors. 

You always got chocolate, Jeongguk got some sort of fruit while Eunchae would get red velvet and you would dream of the day when you had enough money to indulge yourself on a whim. . 

Then, when Jeongguk’s mom opened up her bakery, she began making your birthday cakes so the three of you sort of got your wish but those were free. Made with love and compassion until you moved too far to feel it. 

“You still remember all of that?” He asks. The stone pathway turns. A signal that the economics building is getting closer by the second. 

Trying not to think about it, you answer him. “Of course, why wouldn’t I?” You’ve always had impeccable memory but you treasured every second of your childhood. 

Because your later teens, in Seoul and away from all that you knew, were terrible. 

“I barely remembered what I ate yesterday,” Jeongguk laughs, staring over at you. “That’s pretty impressive.” 

“You think so?” You turn to look at him when you feel his eyes linger for longer than usual. His stare isn’t piercing but it leaves a viable imprint on your skin like a thick layer of lotion. “What?” You get self-conscious. Is there something in your hair? Did a bird shit on you without you noticing? 

“I like your hair,” Jeongguk says after a moment, pointing to the clear clip holding all of your hair up. 

A few of the shorter strands come out from the tight hold with time, framing your face, while the rest remain bunched up with a large claw clip. It’s such an effortless look. This morning you were too lazy to fully style your hair with a hair dryer and a brush after spending too much time on it for your sham date with Wooshik. It’s starting to get a little greasy so you plan to wash it tomorrow but this is your go-to dirty hair look. 

“Oh, thanks.” A goofy grin nearly breaks out onto your face but you stop it halfway. “I like your earrings.” You want to return Jeongguk’s compliment with one of your own. Your pointer finger runs through the three thick hoops like a wind chime, causing Jeongguk’s shoulder to rise up thanks to the ticklish sensation, getting shy. “How on earth did your mom allow all of these piercings?” 

Mrs. Jeon lost her shit when a 14-year-old you greeted her with a second hole in your ears when she was coming home from the grocery store.  An upperclassman offered to pierce everyone’s ears using the nurses supplies in exchange for cigarettes or candy from a nearby convenience store. Since she was your guardian for the day while your mom was out for a certification exam, she felt irresponsible but you assured her that your mom was okay with it. 

Well, she had no idea at the time but you knew she’d get over it at some point. It was a second ear piercing, not like you got a tattoo on your forehead. 

“These were all presents, actually.” Your fingers brush the back of his palm as you get closer to the economics building at the end of the road, a little before the sidewalk down the main road begins, as your dread multiplies. “I learned that from you. Convinced mom and dad that my good grades warranted some award and they had no choice but to say yes.”

A dangerously familiar feeling mixed with pride courses through your veins like the newest drug. Jeongguk says he doesn’t remember much but he manages to reach in and pull out a sickly sweet memory from your childhood that has your insides turning into mush. You almost want to wrap your arms around your stomach to get it to stop flipping so much. 

You didn’t ask for much as a kid. Growing up you knew that money was tight so expensive things like the best console or brand name clothes were simply out of the question. But you liked to barter with your mom for more simple things. A good grade for ice cream or a day at the beach or a trip to the bookstore to buy a manga edition you’ve been waiting to read. 

It wasn’t all the time but when you felt like you wanted to celebrate yourself. You earned it after all. 

Then you got a little older and you wanted to become like the cool older girls you went to school with. So you dropped ice cream for piercings, nail polish, and CDs from all of the new idol groups that were popular at the time. Your mom was frugal of course, most of your stuff was cheap from the local dollar store or second hand markets, but she loved to treat you. She wished she could spoil you one day, buy you everything you could lay your eyes on, however the universe didn’t allow her to do that. 

She still can’t but that’s okay. You’re glad you didn’t grow up a spoiled brat. That you learned humility and patience and empathy because it’s those traits that set you apart from most of your classmates. 

“I taught you well.” Fingers itching to flick his chin, you hold back. You don’t want to make him uncomfortable with all of the touching. 

Jeongguk hums. “Got these and these,” he turns his head to the other side to show you almost five studs in his ear, “after my class rank and CSAT score came out.”  

“Didn’t that hurt?” 

You do your best to keep your eyes either on the ground or on Jeongguk as the almighty building comes into view. Despite the heavy beating in your chest, your inner turmoil shouldn’t be obvious. 

Jeongguk doesn’t need to know about your problems. Those are yours and yours alone. 

“Yeah but it wasn’t unbearable. I swear, Eunchae almost passed out when she got her doubles. She hates needles.” 

You laugh. “I remember. Your sister was freaking out when we were all getting our vaccines because she literally slithered down onto the floor the moment she saw the thing.” 

Jeongguk hums. There’s a small break in the conversation as the two of you pass by a huge yet short wave crowd of people who are either rushing to the cafeteria or to their next class but even through all of that, you can feel eyes all over the two of your backs. Especially yours. 

Your department members linger by the vending machines and smoking areas in little judgmental pods,  whispering about you amongst themselves. 

You can predict what they’re saying. 

There she goes again, latching onto another guy after Wooshik dumped her poor pathetic ass. 

Will she ever learn? 

Poor thing. He probably doesn’t know that he’s dealing with the campus whore. 

That word. That one word, repeats in your mind. Whore, whore, whore. That’s all you’ll ever be to them. 

Fear sets in. What will they say about Jeongguk? Will he get teased? Will he find out about your reputation and want nothing to do with you afterwards? No, the last thing you want is for him to get tangled in all of this. He shouldn’t have to deal with all of this. Know about all of the things people whisper about you when they think you aren’t listening.

At some point, he’ll find out. No matter how hard you try to hide it, push it down, pretend everything is okay, Jeongguk will come to know what everyone thinks of you and all of the nasty vitriol they throw your way. 

And when he does, you’re going to have to learn to let go of whatever you two have right now and whatever builds in your heart until all you have left to cling to Jeongguk are the sweet memories of your life in Busan. 

Because that’s how it goes for you. 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Jeongguk stumbles into his apartment and throws his backpack onto his gaming chair, quickly calculating the amount of free time he has right now. 

 He has a group match in about two hours for League of Legends and he plans on canceling on them since he had to wake up early today. Jeongguk’s sleep schedule was fucked up all summer and suddenly, waking up at 6am instead of going to bed around then was quite literally torture. 

There’s no guilt when Jeongguk texts them. He doesn’t owe his teammates anything, not like he’s joined a real league anyways. He has other priorities. 

Now that he’s a student again, his sleep schedule sort of matters. His mother would cry learning about the absolute buffoonery he was committing over summer session with his new league he met online. Playing various games until the sun was peeking through his blinds and then ordering breakfast from McDonald’s while entering another battle. Usually that would entice him but all he feels is exhaustion. 

Most of it is from lugging his heavy ass backpack around all day in the sun. Some of it is still from this weekend. There’s a reason Jeongguk isn’t an avid partier. 

Quickly, he throws whatever pre-packaged dish he bought into the microwave and changes out of his school clothes into some sweatpants and a different shirt. All part of his usual after school routine. Then he carefully takes the steaming plate out once it’s done and sets it on the counter to cool before going to the bathroom to wash his hands. 

As he walks through his hall, something presses into the soles of his feet. It’s soft but flexible and round with a hard plastic bit strung onto it that digs into his skin.

“Ouch!” He stops midway, moving his foot and staring at the mystery item. Jeongguk’s eyebrows furrow at first. 

It looks like one of Taehyung’s many charm bracelets that he buys from those street vendors in Hongdae with the cute little charms around colored string. Jeongguk has one from him ( a black string with a baby pink bunny charm that he wears every now and then). The idiot probably dropped it while singing karaoke or doing his Scarface impersonation to make Jimin laugh. Jeongguk takes his phone out to text the guy but he realizes that Taehyung hasn’t been to his apartment in a few days. 

The only other person that has been here was… you. 

He bends down to look at the bracelet. Were you wearing one that night? Your bracelets didn't look like this. They were metal, not string. Jeongguk bends at the knees and picks it up. The string is elastic and stretchy but loose enough to fit around his wrist if needed. 

Oh, it’s a hair tie. 

You must’ve dropped it when you slept over. Jeongguk turns the thing around to see the charm. The elastic itself is plain black but the charm seems to be some Sanrio character that he recognizes but cannot remember the name of.

Hello Kitty? No, he knows her and she doesn’t look like this. 

Cinnamoroll? No, that’s a puppy. This is some weird purple looking thing. 

My Melody? Maybe. 

Fuck, he doesn’t have time to worry about this. Jeongguk shoves the damn thing in his pocket, makes a mental reminder to text you about it after eating lunch, and goes to quickly wash his hands. His fingers push the door open to his bathroom. Clean white tiles, the scent diffuser smelling of white musk, and his TMNT towel drying on the rack. 

Jeongguk looks up at himself in the mirror. His eyes are sunken in and a little swollen from the lack of sleep. His stomach rumbles as he lathers his hands in his fresh cotton hand soap. 

But all he can think about is you on that night. 

Saturday Night. 

The night felt never-ending. 

Jeongguk was doing his best to get everyone in a car ride home safely after song after song on the dance floor but he was getting a little overwhelmed with all that was thrown onto him in the span of a few short minutes when Nayeon decided she wanted to go home.

Laughing, tripping, complaining about vomiting, a smell coming from some random spot that’s making someone nauseous, Jeongguk felt like a parent trying to get their kids together. His phone was glued to his hands to call cabs and type in addresses while making sure the five of you didn’t wander off into the unknown without his supervision. 

Thankfully, one of your friends managed to usher the other into a cab and Jimin was able to shove a whiny Taehyung into the one Jeongguk had ordered so now all he had left was you. 

Drunk you was something else. Stuck onto him like a second layer, arms twined tightly around his waist, mumbling about something random while stumbling over every step. Jeongguk had half a mind to just pick you up and walk to where the guy had parked but he didn’t want to make your nausea even worse by swinging you around.  

“Wait! Jeongguk, I can’t find my phone, we have to go back,” you whined, tugging on his arm with one hand. “I-I can’t–hiccup–I can’t live without my-my phone!”

You were clutching your phone in your other hand. 

He sighed. “You’re holding it,” motioning to the device pressed into your fingers. “Come on, the cab is parked there.” The yellow thing looked like something descending from the heavens while the driver finished the last of his cigarette and belched loud enough for Jeongguk to hear. 

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Are you really sure?”

“Yes.” 

“Okay, I trust you.” You mumbles, hugging him close like he was a large pillow. 

The next few minutes passed by a bit quicker as you let Jeongguk help you into the car and started on your way back to his apartment since you and your friends were incapable of remembering your address. 

He leaned against the tough upholstery as the car began moving. Muscles tight and tired. Jeongguk felt the rivulets of sweat dripping down on his neck which he quickly wiped off and onto his pants, something he usually doesn't do but he’s at the state of not really giving a fuck about clothes he’s going to wash anyways. His body bobbles with a shaky turn and somehow, your limp body ends up pressed into his side, head leaning on his chest while a muffled groan leaves your painted lips.

“Ah s-sorry,” you slurred, attempting to sit up by placing a hand on Jeongguk’s mid-thigh. “I forgot to put on my belt.”  Your perfume flowed to him, a soft clean scent, maybe a bit sucrose when mixed with the scent of your shampoo. 

“Oh, the belt is finicky on that side, ma’am.” The driver informs. He meets both of your eyes in the rearview mirror. “It’s okay. Lean on your boyfriend for the rest of the drive. Should only take a few more minutes!” 

Jeongguk opens his mouth to correct but you interrupt him with a giggle. His head switches to you, mouth covered, skin dimpling. “Boyfriend.” You repeat. 

The driver plays along, most likely very confused, just like Jeongguk. “You two make a lovely couple.”

That next statement makes you giggle a little more. Jeongguk wants to know what is so funny about this cab driver assuming the two of you are dating. Do you find the hypothetical to be so insanely outrageous that it’s hilarious?  Should he even bother asking or should he let it go to save himself the pain from hearing your brazenly honest answer?

Jeongguk chooses to ignore it. He knows another turn is coming up so he raises his left arm and nudges you closer to rest on him comfortably. That same arm circles around your shoulders and the top of your head tickles the bottom of Jeongguk’s nose. You’re warm and comforting after a long night, bringing up a slew of feelings he’s been pushing down for years at this point. 

Still mumbling to yourself, you become distracted with the jewelry on Jeongguk’s hand so you don’t hear the questions that the cab driver throws your way. 

“How long have you two been dating?” He asks, turning down the late night radio station playing old hits. 

Jeongguk just goes along with it. “It’s-uh-very recent, sir.” A four hour relationship to be exact. “But I’ve known her since we were kids.” 

“How cute! My wife and I only dated for a few months before I proposed, you know,” he proclaims proudly, shoulders broadening. Jeongguk nods and fakes a grin in hopes that the conversation ends here. 

Jeongguk wants to laugh. Marriage? 

He’s never even been in a relationship before. He’s barely gone past kissing someone for longer than two minutes. With the way things are going, Jeongguk will probably live his life exactly like Steve Carell in the movie The 40-year-old Virgin only there’s no way he’ll get a happy ending. 

The cab driver laughs to himself when he sees the look on Jeongguk's face before turning the music back up. You’ve successfully knocked out on Jeongguk’s chest so you miss the faint redness creeping up his neck and to his ears but it’s not something he wants you to see either. His brain zeros in on his own pathetic state of affairs. 

He’s always prided himself on his emotional maturity for someone so young but romantically? Horrendous. 

Jeongguk has always stood behind the belief that he simply isn’t meant to be in a relationship with anyone. Sometimes he can be too shy, too closed off, and people don’t gravitate towards people like that. They want someone who can be openly affectionate after a few conversations and Jeongguk simply isn’t the type. The only reason why he has friends like Taehyung and Jimin is because they made an effort to get to know him at his pace. It’s the same with you, who was older and a girl but you still made the effort to invite Jeongguk to watch Barbie movies or search for coins to get the cheapest candy at the convenience store. People usually don’t care after he brushes them off a few times but you did, Taehyung and Jimin did, and Jeongguk gets all fuzzy inside. 

Would he ever find someone like you three again? Would he ever be so lucky? Probably not. 

He looks over at your face smushed against his chest, playing with the zipper of his jacket. You’re so pretty, always have been, always will be, like a rare flower. Even after all of this time, he’s so taken aback by how effortlessly beautiful you are; on the outside and the inside. The way your hair falls delicately over your face, cheeks puffed, lips puckered; the way your shirt gives you an angelic look and your necklace lies perfectly in the middle of your collarbones. 

It’s enticing. Jeongguk can’t take his eyes off of you. He never could. 

Fuck, this random reunion might do more harm than good if Jeongguk doesn’t learn to control himself. This isn’t the time to reawaken old feelings that he pushed down for a good reason. 

Once the cab stops in front of his apartment building, Jeongguk pays him and then helps you out of the car. Body limp and slippery like slinky. 

“No, I forgot how to walk,” you mumbled, leaning against one of the pillars outside the building to keep yourself up straight. “Can’t I just sleep here? It’s comfortable.”

“That’s a concrete pillar.” Jeongguk runs a hand through his slightly dampened hair. “Come on, there’s an elevator and I don’t live too high up. You’ll sleep better on my bed.” 

A pout grows stronger on your face, a few streaks of something black collecting in the corner of your eyes and your lipstick is smeared a little but Jeongguk still finds you so put together and exquisite. Still like that rare flower on top of a mountain peak; beautiful yet impossible to reach. 

“Fine.” You peel yourself off the pillar. “But if you’re lying to me, I’m gonna pinch those cute little cheeks right off your face.” Squishing his flesh momentarily before dropping your hands, Jeongguk blinks a few times in shock. 

Focus, Jeon. She needs to rest. 

Getting you inside is easier than he thought. The promise of the elevator and a warm bed with some water turned you much more docile. But you’re still enamored by his rings which you slip on and off his fingers as the elevator beeps. Then, Jeongguk slips off your shoes and tells you to wait by the kitchen counter while he rifles through his things, handing you a shirt and directing you to the bathroom.

A loud sigh escapes his lips once he’s all alone. Jeongguk has about ten seconds to change himself. He’s been in these tight jeans that squeeze his legs like anything. Maybe he shouldn’t have gone so hard in the gym over the summer. Now most of his old clothes don’t fit him as well as they used to. 

Quickly, he throws on his pajamas just as you emerge from the bathroom and hum a random song from tonight. 

Then, he helps you into bed, groaning out at the soreness in his muscles from all of the lifting he’s been doing today.  You don’t fight back too much, clearly worn out, so you sink into the soft padding easily like a little kitten. He throws the blankets over you, does a quick check to see if you’re okay, and then gets into his own makeshift bed made out of a thin mattress and a set of sheets. 

It’s not nearly as comfortable as his own bed and his back might be mad at him tomorrow but it’ll do for now. 

Just as Jeongguk is beginning to fall into deep sleep, he hears you rusting around, mumbling under your breath about something. Your hands push yourself up on your elbows. For a second, he thinks you’re going to throw up so he gets up quickly and makes his way to his kitchen to grab a plastic bag. 

But you start speaking louder. 

“I can’t believe you, Seojoon.” Your hair sticks out from every corner as you flop back down, lips bloated and pouty, slapping around the comforter and pointing to no one. “I hate you.” Jeongguk’s eyebrow raises, pausing in the middle of his kitchen to decipher what on earth you are talking about.

Clearly, you’re having a nightmare. Jeongguk takes quiet steps back to his spot on the floor in order to avoid that one squeaky 

“You cheated on me with Somin, didn’t you? You bastard. You told me you loved me,” whining, your body twists around. “Why else would I let you fuck me?” 

Jeongguk reels his brain back to stop the curious sympathy right there. He doesn’t want to prod further into this bad dream involving a fight with an ex of some sort. It’s none of his business and clearly this wasn’t meant for him to hear. All he does care about is if you’re going to vomit or not. 

He calls your name. “Are you okay?” Jeongguk whispers. 

You don’t respond. Instead, your face twists in discomfort as you continue to mumble into his mattress and writhe around. 

Jeongguk grows increasingly worried. He doesn’t want you to choke or anything of the sort while he’s deep in REM. Slowly, he gets down on his knees to get a closer look at you tossing and turning.  

“It hurts so much.” 

Jeongguk gently places a hand on your arm, saying your name softly so you don’t wake up. “Hey, you okay? Do you want water?” You twist away from his touch at first. “It’s me, it’s me, it’s Jeongguk,” reminding you as your lids barely part. He thinks you register him, that maybe you’re somewhat awake right now as you begin to curl forward. 

But then your hands clasp Jeongguk’s arms tightly, restricting his every move. 

“You’re going to leave me, aren’t you?” Your voice slurs, the tip of your nose meeting the fabric of his shirt, fingers digging into the flesh hard enough to leave indents. 

Nothing but confusion clouds Jeongguk’s brain. What are you talking about? 

“You told me you loved me. What? Don’t you want me anymore?”  

Tightening around him, you bury your face into his neck again. Your arms begin to raise, wrap around his shoulders to bring your body closer to his rigid frame. Jeongguk feels wetness from your eyes begin to drip onto his skin, dampening his shirt.

“Just do it then. Just leave me. No one ever sticks around anyways. Guys always leave me the moment something new comes along. Every single one,” you enunciate, vibrating into him, crying softly. “You don’t even care about how much you hurt me. No one cares.” 

Jeongguk is paralyzed under your hold as your tears start to roll down. Your sobs are loud and erratic and painful, as if all of this hurt has building until you eventually couldn’t hold onto it anymore. That it took alcohol and a long night to wedge it out of you. 

It’s contradictory; holding him tight and telling him to leave you.

But he doesn’t push you away and he doesn't let go. Jeongguk lets you grip onto him for safety because he’s terrified that removing his touch could break you even further. 

 He doesn’t know what is happening in your dream to make you behave like this, he doesn’t know what made the previous glee that used to make your eyes bright fade away after all of those years passed. He wants to ask but he doesn't know how. 

All Jeongguk does know is that you were different. Not in a good or bad way but you were simply different.  The happy go lucky little girl grew into a hardened adult. When he looked into your eyes tonight, he saw traces of all of this hurt woven alongside other emotions. Like a heavy blanket that only pushes you further and further deeper into a more melancholic way of being. 

And as he helps you back into bed once your tears stop falling, rubs some cooling Vicks rub on your forehead and pulls the cover close, his brain turns into an echo chamber until he tires himself to sleep. 

No one ever sticks around anyways. 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

A week has passed and while you thought you could gain control of your physics plight, it seems like the universe has some different plans. 

The tutor that you selected, a second year girl who is majoring in electrical engineering, has been a total flake. You exchanged numbers with her on Thursday during Week 1 and she fed you all of these sweet words about wanting to become friends and teaching in a friendly, kind way which immediately softened you. The last thing you wanted was for some dickhead to call you stupid because you didn’t understand the concept the first time. 

She said she’d meet you at the library that Saturday at 3pm to come up with a schedule and she never showed. So you rescheduled to Sunday, then Monday, then Tuesday and now you just feel like an idiot. 

There’s always some excuse. Either she slept in or she’s not feeling well or her roommate needs her but you’re losing your damn mind right now. 

“You’re not paying her, right?” Jeongyeon asks, rummaging through Nayeon’s bag for something. “Maybe she’s a scammer?” 

You give her a dull look. “She doesn’t get paid by me. I think the university does or she’s earning credits, I don’t know. But I’m fucked for the big quiz we have next week.” 

It’s only Week 2 but the material is daunting and frankly put, you’ll shit your pants the day of the actual quiz and whatever date the final is. This is all so unfamiliar to you and, unlike other subjects, you struggle to find that area where the content becomes interesting. All you feel is terror. 

Nayeon, ever the optimist, tries to lift your spirit. 

“Girl, that shit is next week. Do yourself a favor, find a new tutor, study a whole bunch and then ace the quiz. There’s no point in waiting for this random girl to start caring. It’s your grade after all.” 

“Yeah but I just don’t want someone that’s going to be an asshole when I get things wrong.” 

People love to dumb you down, especially those in your own department. Obviously your promiscuity directly correlates to your intelligence. Girls can only be slutty or smart, right? There exists no gray area. But you know yourself. Even if science and math aren’t your thing, you’re a smart person. You got into a top performing university without any fancy prep classes or coaches and you are consistently pulling good grades each semester. That speaks more about you and your capabilities than anything else. 

“I’ve heard this one guy is pretty good. He’s a teacher’s assistant pursuing his masters degree here.” Nayeon takes her phone out to look him up. “My friend was in his Chemistry group sessions and he was apparently super helpful and kind. I think he does physics too. Let me ask her.” 

You perk up. It would be perfect if you could land a tutoring session with this TA instead of your missing student tutor. Even if it’s a group setting

“Let me know what your friend says.” You look away from the two in front of you for a split second as your attention was cut by your phone vibrating on the table. Flipping it over you see a text from your flakey tutor herself. 

Reading it over, you roll your eyes heavily. Another lame excuse about her skipping out on your tutoring session because she scheduled a meeting with her professor at the exact same time by accident. You ignore it and plan to respond with a passive aggressive rejection to end all of this bullshit. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Jeongyeon and Nayeon try to discreetly take their edibles before digging into the food you all ordered. 

Steaming plates of rice, kimchi, stir-fry and meats along with a few fried foods makes your stomach grumble. You flip your phone back over and grab your chopsticks, changing the subject quickly. 

“What are you guys doing after this?” You ask. The edibles are going to last a while and considering a weed high has different stages, there’s no way these two are going to be eating the entire time. Munchies aren’t that strong. 

Jeongyeon wiggles her eyebrows suggestively to her girlfriend, cheeks full like a chipmunk, and Nayeon turns beet red. Enough context for you to figure it out, breaking into a fit of giggles. 

“Ohhh, I see.” 

Good for them. If only you were getting laid too. Lately, your vibrator has been your best friend late at night when your mind wanders. 

With thirteen settings, it’s safe to say you won’t be getting bored for a while. 

However, you’ve never done it while being high. You’d want to do it with someone you’re comfortable with, maybe a consistent trustworthy hookup and only if consent is 100% enthusiastic, but you can only imagine how heightened the senses feel. 

Getting lost in thought, you cross one of your legs over the other, thinking about the haziness parting as you ride them slow but deep. Your hands will grip their shoulders, nails digging into the tight flesh as the drag of their length is delicious inside of you. Moaning out loud at how full you feel, watching the sharp bone of his jaw unhinge with pleasure, thick silver earrings brushing your skin, dark hair between your fingers as you increase the pace and drive the two of  you to the tipping point. 

It sounds… so satisfying. 

Fuck, okay, you need to get some control over yourself. It must be the week before your period or something because your mind has been cooking up these scenarios that demand attention. 

And most of the time it involves some familiar looking yet faceless character giving you the best dick you’ve ever gotten. It’s really messing with you. 

How the fuck are you going to be Miss Celibacy if your ass can���t go a week without sex? 

You stab your chopsticks into a large chunk of tofu and stare at the red sauce over the surface before shoving it into your mouth in hopes of distracting you when an angry recognizable voice flutters past your table. 

“..and this bitch has the nerve to look me dead in the eye and go, ‘well, you just lost yourself a customer,’ as if any of us give a shit. Like ma’am I get paid minimum wage to make watery coffee and reheat cardboard sandwiches regardless of your purchase, please leave me alone and die.” 

Turning your head, you see tufts of blonde and shiny boots combined with the soft smell of peaches: Jimin. 

And right next to him is none other than Jeon Jeongguk who is chuckling at Jimin’s whiny Karen tone to describe his awful customer. His cheeks creasing, eyes getting shinier and cute. 

You can feel your body thrum with excitement. 

“Hey guys!” Nayeon waves, setting down her utensils. They turn to look at her, then Jeongyeon and then at you, bowing while greeting. Your shoulders cave in when you feel Jeongguk’s stare on your face. “Do you wanna eat lunch with us?”

“Hell yeah. Is the menu today good?” Jimin asks.  

Jeongyeon, with a mouth full of food, nods excitedly which is perfect. Jeongguk and Jimin laugh, motioning to the lunch line quickly so you save the table and go back to eating your lunches. Your brain demands another curious glance at Jeongguk’s retreating figure. 

What? He looks really fucking sexy from the back. 

Ever since the first day of school,  you agreed to ride the subway back with Jeongguk on the days you end class at the same time and you've come to the conclusion that he is quite literally the hottest guy on the entire planet. Hotter than any other guy you’ve wasted your time with. 

He has the most boyish features but his body is perfectly crafted. Wide shoulders, defined thighs and arms, a super sculpted back, but not overly burly where he looks fake. Like an exquisite marble statue from the Hellenistic period. 

Yes, yes, you know it’s sort of weird considering the fact that you’ve  watched grow up from a cute kid to an emo pre-teen and now jumping to the absolute meal he is now but it’s just some simple attraction. 

One that rears its ugly head whenever Jeongguk laughs or smiles or pushes his hair out of his face or tongues his cheek or does literally anything. 

There are a million reasons why this could’ve happened. From all the time spent together from the subway rides to morning coffee and dinner one night (with all of your friends but it still counts) or you’re thinking this silly little attraction might be a combination of a lack of dick, PMS and pure loneliness. Either way, it isn’t anything major. 

Finding a way to ignore it is the next step.

Nayeon nudges you. “Remind me again, how exactly are you two childhood friends?” Her cheeks puffed with food.  

“Oh, I lived in Busan until high school and he was my neighbor. I would always hang out with him and his two sisters.” You explain, taking another bite of soft sticky rice. 

“Older sisters?”

You shake your head. “One older and one younger.” Wondering why this is relevant. 

But then, Nayeon and Jeongyeon make eye contact, eyebrows raising like they do when they know something you don’t. Meanwhile, you’re just sitting there like an idiot, waiting for context with your chopsticks held halfway up to your mouth. 

“Green flag. Bright green fucking flag.” Jeongyeon whistles. 

“Huh?”  Your chopsticks barely prod your lip without your mouth opening. Did the edibles pull out some secret stoner knowledge that you aren’t aware of? 

Jeongyeon decides to explain it to you. “According to the girlies on tiktok, men with older sisters are usually green flags. Something about learning gentleness and patience and respecting women from an early age or whatever. I don’t get you heteros so it went past my head.” 

You’re puzzled at first. These men all have mothers, they came from a woman who nursed them and cared for them until now, why is having an older sister so different?

But then it hits you. 

The way Jeongguk treats you is so different from the way most guys treat you. There’s no domineering masculinity coming from him in heavy waves trying to overpower you. It’s softer. He’s so approachable and gentle. He never touches you unless you’re okay with it, he’s always polite and kind and sweet. He never makes you feel stupid or inadequate, doesn’t talk over you, nothing of the sort. 

And while it’s the barest of minimum, Jeongguk makes you feel safe. 

Even Jeongyeon and Nayeon, who are often not comfortable around straight men, found him to be a delight. That has to mean something. 

“I…I never thought about it,” your voice goes a little husky. Tucking a stray piece of hair out of your face as your cheeks get a little warm. “He’s just a good guy, you know.  Jihyo, his sister, always kept him in check. I guess, it’s a good thing.” 

Kids lead by example. Growing up in an environment where the adults around you were treating women poorly or pushing people around will appear in relationships. But Jeongguk was the opposite. 

“It is. Think about it,” Nayeon leans in, “after all of those duds you’ve been with, he’s just what you’re looking for.” 

The way your heartbeat accelerates is not a good sign. 

Your chin pulls back, like you’re leaning away from the possibility. “What? I’m not gonna date him, Nayeon,” you groan under your breath. 

“Why not?” She whines, slamming her fists onto the table, then laughing slightly at the indents left on his skin. 

“Because he has no interest in dating right now,” you grumble, remembering his words from his birthday. 

Even if you did try to pursue it, there’s a high chance Jeongguk might only see you as his older sister’s friend. Which is how it should be! It’s best that you let this silly little crush die like a lonely star and maintain your promise of making this year all about you. Your bullet vibrator is going to have to help you whenever you get the urge but besides that, no sex, no dates, no boys, nothing of the sort. 

“Did he tell you that?” Jeongyeon asks, eyes glazing over. The weed must be hitting pretty hard. You’re surprised they can keep up with this conversation. 

Then again, they’re probably used to it. 

You nod. “At the club.” Snorting, your eyes briefly flick to the other side of the cafeteria where a certain someone sits. “Juri offered him her number and he said he wasn’t going to go out with her.”

That seems to wake the brunette up. “Fuck, really? I wish I saw that,” she pouts, leaning on the blonde curled up next to her. Cute. 

“Well, he didn’t say no since you two started fucking hazing him the moment you saw him,” you scold. “But he told me he was going to reject her if/when he saw her in person.” 

“Hey! You were the one who directed us to shoo away any man that came up to you that night.” Nayeon defends. “We were just listening to instructions when we came over to stop you two.” 

Jeongyeon joins in. “Yeah, and he looked like your usual type so we assumed we should pull you away. How were we supposed to know the super hot guy you were talking to was a friend?” 

You open your mouth to quip back when you feel a presence behind you, casting a shadow on your back. The lingering smell of cologne and food dance in the air. A wave of despair crashes inside of your stomach and you really wish a black hole would open up right under to sweep you away from this hellscape. 

“What are you guys talking about?” 

Taehyung Jimin split to sit on the bench between Nayeon and Jeongyeon’s bench and yours. It's a square shaped table with four benches on each side, so enough space for two people per bench. The two couples share a bench while you and Jeongguk get your own, although he still sits closer to you on his own bench. 

“U-uh–” Jeongyeon stutters, looking at you with wide eyes for help. 

“Oh, just some guy,” you fake a laugh, flicking some hair out of your face and turning to food so you can shovel it in your face like a starved person. 

Taehyung laughs a little. “Just some guy? Jeongyeon was saying that he’s super hot and your type.” He’s being cheeky, like he always is, but this time, you can’t engage in a back and forth with him. 

Because the hot sweet guy you were talking about is sitting right next to you. 

Your brain urges you to take a peek. Jeongguk is dressed like he usually is; a pair of baggy cargo pants and a light gray sweatshirt, and he always looks attractive. The fall wind is allowing you to smell the scent of his flowery shampoo in combination with his usual perfume and it’s such an addictive scent that you never want to forget. 

But you can’t think about that. You should be thinking of a lie. 

“I’ve always wondered if you had a boyfriend,” Jimin asks, resting his chin on his palm. A sly smirk forms on his lips, just as cheeky as his own boyfriend’s. “I asked Jeongguk and he said he didn’t know.” 

Fuck. You look at him now, hair swishing with your movements. The boy is eating without a care and shrugs in response. “You never mentioned one.” 

Yeah, because there isn’t one. You’ve never had a boyfriend in your life. 

Sweat beads your palms. There has to be some guy that you can just drop in here for the sake of the conversation. Some random guy out in this cafeteria that is insignificant enough to never cross paths with you again so you can nip this conversation right in the bud. 

You scan the place. There are a few guys you’ve already hooked up with so that’s a no. Some groups of first-years and that’s also a no (you’re not trying to catch a case here). 

For fucks’ sake, are the only hot guys at this school Jimin, Taehyung and Jeongguk? 

“Uh–”

Nayeon swoops in like a guardian angel. “We were talking about the Physics and Chem tutor. I don’t know if you guys have had him but, Kim Namjoon?” 

Right, the tutor Nayeon’s friend went to. The really nice one. 

She sends you a hidden wink from her end of the table and you respond with a quick finger heart. Bless her soul. 

“Joon? Oh, he is so hot.” Jimin, to your surprise, bounces at the chance to thirst over this supposed sexy tutor that you’ve never seen before. His eyes roll back at the sheer thought of him, leaning closer to gossip.  “He was our tutors for Physics 2 last semester and wow.” He shakes his head, marveled at such a man. “He could top me and then never speak to me again and I’d be okay with that.”

Now you’re curious about this Kim Namjoon. Just how hot is he? 

Taehyung jumps in. “I agree, however, “he holds a single finger up, “I would also like to add Kim Seokjin, the bio tutor.” His eyes roll back dramatically. “Dream threesome. Foursome if you want babe,” he nudges the blonde who blushes in agreement.  

Then the entire table breaks out into giggles and with a little coaxing, Nayeon and Jeongyeon reveal their ideal threesomes which you already know the answers to (Han Sohee and Irene from Red Velvet) since they share the same girl crushes. Then you answer begrudgingly which are the two male leads from Business Proposal because, obviously. However, the person next to you is rather quiet. You lightly nudge his side with your elbow to check in with him. 

“You okay?” You’re asking just in case Jeongguk isn’t comfortable with sex talk. 

But he nods. “Sorry, I’m still listening. Just really hungry. All I had for breakfast was a protein shake.” Jeongguk inhales the glazed stir-fry chicken on his plate, a dot of sauce landing on the corner of his lip and, oh my, do you want to wipe it off for him because he is so cute with his bready baby cheeks all puffed with food.

“Come on,” you pretend to scold. “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.” Jeongguk’s mom would weep if she heard about him skipping. 

He waves it off but you can see his ears get a little red. “Yeah, yeah, I know but I slept through my alarms so I was in a rush this morning. Almost pulled a Taehyung and crashed into the wall while trying to run out.” 

You laugh at the image. Taehyung can be a bit of a klutz. At the club on Jeongguk’s birthday, he almost crashed into an entire table because he was dizzy from doing tiktok dances all night. Your head throws back slightly, eyes fluttering shut, and when you open them again, Jeongguk’s eyes are on you. 

They feel explorative, searching every inch of your face like he doesn’t want to forget a single inch, lips quirked up in a half smile but it’s Jeongguk’s eyes that really take you aback. His eyes have never looked at you like that before. 

As if something is swimming deep in those pools of glimmery chocolate brown; something warm and sweet in there. 

“Sorry,” he blushes, turning his eyes away from your face and back onto his food. Your heart stops for a moment, looking down at his pillowy soft lips. They’re right there, moisturized and pink. All you really have to do is lean in. 

And with the way Jeongguk looks at you, you really fucking want to. 

He’s so beautiful. So pretty and sweet and kind and unlike any other guy you’ve ever wanted. The urge to go for him is almost primal that you can barely hold yourself back. 

Your friends are like little angels in your head, goading you on to just do it. Just kiss him and take him and then drop it. Satiate that part of you that needs sex, that needs to fucked just right, and then move on. It would be different than usual because Jeongguk is different from the previous men so you wouldn’t get hurt. 

Although… 

He’s Jihyo’s little brother, the boy who needed to hold your hand when crossing the street, the kid always on his skateboard or his nose buried in a manga. Would it tarnish everything that you find familiar to just go for it? Would years of a perfectly healthy happy friendship go right down the drain? 

But Jeongguk is an adult, only one year younger than you. There isn’t anything wrong. 

Ideally, you could just lean in and–

“Jeongguk, what was the name of the blue penguin in the Backyardigans? I really need to know like now,” Taehyung urges, breaking your train of thought immediately. 

You fly back as if the contact singes you, curling into yourself and placing a single hand on the surface of the table to catch your breath. You completely forgot about the whole conversation going on around you when you stared into Jeongguk’s pretty deep eyes. 

It’s clear as day to you. With the man he’s become, it’s obvious that you are definitely into Jeon Jeongguk. 

“Huh?” He rasps, slightly out of it too. “Oh-uh, Pablo. He’s the one that sings International Super Spy.” 

“Pablo! I knew it.” Taehyung snaps his fingers loudly. “How do you still remember that?”

Jeongguk awkwardly forces out a laugh. “We watched a few episodes together this summer, remember?” 

“Right. Pretty sure I was blazed out of my mind, though.” 

Jimin nudges him. “Babe, when are you not blazed out of your mind?”

“When I’m with you, baby boy,” he coos.  

The boy next to you groans out loud. “Ugh, you two are so nasty.” His voice is muffled by food but he still gets his point across. You bite back a giggle at the disgust on his face. 

“Jeongguk, you can’t be mean to us. It’s homophobic.” Jimin points a chopstick in his direction but Jeongguk simply shrugs and continues eating without a care. 

Jeongyeon pipes up. “I agree. That applies to you too, Queen of the Straights.” 

The direct hit has pulled you out of your internal panic, reminding you to contribute to the conversation like friends usually do. Your eyes dull a little. “Yes ma’am.”  Faking a soldier’s salute to make everyone laugh. 

You’re glad that everyone else seems oblivious to what just happened because you know that had the two of you been alone, the situation would be entirely different. 

And you don’t know if that outcome would be any better than this one. 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

On Friday, classes get canceled. 

Thankfully, it’s nothing bad. All of the buildings are getting fumigated to keep out any infestations that might’ve crawled in over the summer since someone thought they saw a cockroach in the Arts building so all the professors decide to post the lecture information online or have virtual class if necessary. 

You had no complaints with this change. Attend class in your pajamas, in your bed, and have the option to fall asleep without getting caught? Sounds perfect. 

Although, no in person class means you don’t get to speak to your Physics professor to complain about your flakey tutor and find a new one which you were banking on completing before you had your huge quiz next week. So, once your final lecture ends, you begin to worry about how the hell you’re going to resolve that problem. 

Sure, you could easily self-review with the resources online but you’ve always learned more theoretical concepts with someone explaining it to you in person so you could ask questions immediately. 

You shut your laptop off and place it on top of the long coffee table you use as a desk. An open notebook with notes sits on your right, pen clicked off, highlighters placed neatly in your pencil case, and the silence of your studio apartment almost starts ringing in your ears. 

Who do you know that can tutor you for physics? 

Nayeon sent you the email address for the Namjoon person whom everyone is vouching for. You asked this morning  if he had any space in his tutoring session but he responded saying that he does but he isn’t having a session today and he’s happy to answer any questions over email or through a video call individually. 

You genuinely consider that option until you look up at the decor in your room that Namjoon has no chance of missing during the video call. 

Now, you wouldn’t call yourself a strange person, if anything you are a well-adjusted member of society,  but the pieces chosen to hang up in your studio apartment would raise some eyebrows. From the poster of Bibble from Barbie saying Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss to the concerning amount of Sanrio plushies you’ve collected over the years to all of the cat beds and toys thrown around the place and the impressive array of diffusers in every corner, your apartment is an amalgamation of you. 

And you don’t know if this Namjoon guy is going to take one look at the place and peg you down as a fucking weirdo or not. You want to make a good impression on him. 

So, you wrack your brain for a different option to help you just before your quiz next week. 

Someone. Anyone. 

Your worst bet is to walk over to the nearest cram school and ask someone there but those are all high school students and you’d die of embarrassment. 

Then you remember, Jeongguk took Physics last semester. Maybe he can help. 

Quickly, you pat around your duvet for your phone. It’s lying screen down a few inches away from Snowball’s sleeping body. Carefully, you grab the device, scroll through your contacts and call him with fiery hope coursing through you thickly.

“Hello?” His voice drips from the speakers like flowing water and you want to drown in it. 

“Hey, are you done with online classes?” You ask, on your back and knees to your chest in a very suggestive position. 

“Uh almost,” Jeongguk trails off. “Why? What’s up?”

You hold back a goofy smile at his distracted tone. “You know how you said you took physics last semester?” He hums in response. “Do you think you could explain a few concepts to me? I have this big ass quiz soon and I don’t wanna bomb it.” 

You wait. The pessimist in you expects a rejection, a flat out ‘I’d rather die than waste my time explaining physics concepts to a 21-year-old,’ but the optimist is waiting with a bouquet of roses on the other side. 

This is Jeongguk we’re talking about. Sweet, sweet, lovely Jeongguk. Not that dickhead that sits in the back of lecture and watches hentai on his phone. 

“Oh. I’m not the best teacher.”

Both the optimist and pessimist in your head are waiting on the balls of their feet. That wasn’t the answer you were expecting but it's an answer you aren’t hurt by! 

“That’s okay! I just need someone to go over it with me. As long as you aren’t mean, I won’t complain.” You want to appeal to Jeongguk in a way that’ll get the guy to bend a little and what other way to a man’s heart than food? “I’ll repay you with dinner,” you sing-song.  

There’s a brief pause, like he’s considering the option while noises mumble in the background. “What’s the menu?” Jeongguk asks. 

God, he’s so cute. Your cheeks are raised so high, they might as well curl into your eyes. 

“I live near a great fried chicken place.” Works out perfectly because you’ve been craving something fried for a while now. Must be your period. 

Jeongguk barely waits a second. “Sold. Text me the time and your address.”

You cut the call after bidding each other goodbye. A giddy squeal almost bubbles out of your lips until you realize that you have about two hours until Jeongguk is in your apartment for the first time ever. 

Alone. No friends. No family. 

Just you and this super hot guy. 

No interruptions. Complete privacy. 

You launch out of bed so fast that you wake up Snowball from her slumber. Quickly, you shower and you take your time to scrub your body with lilac body wash and shave. Usually Friday is your pamper day so this isn’t anything out of the ordinary. Then you wash your greasy hair to rid yourself of the conditioning hair mask you slathered on this morning. After your shower, you walk around your studio with your fluffy bathrobe and microfiber towel on to find the perfect outfit. 

It has to be comfortable but cute. Even though Jeongguk is just tutoring you and there is a high chance that this meeting will only be platonic, you still want to look your best. 

Rummaging through your dresser drawers and closet, your eyes immediately fall to your collection of baby-doll lingerie sets in various colors. An expensive purchase, but you’ve always enjoyed dressing up every now and then. Your fingers dance across the itchy lace, thinking about which one Jeongguk would like? Lilac? Baby pink? Maybe the nude one with the intricate designs on the cups? Or how about the blood red and black one that looks like it came straight out of a BDSM film? 

Nah, that’s too much. You go for yoga pants, a plain t-shirt and a quarter-zip with your university’s logo on it. Then selecting a lacy pair of underwear and no bra. You hate wearing one at home anyways. 

The clothes lay spread out on your bed as you begin your post shower process of lotion, deodorant, a soft scented body spray and then your clothes. Then, you dry your hair and then begin cleaning up the little clutter you have over the place. You’re a neat person, which others find shocking, so there isn’t much to do. You dry some dishes on the rack, reset your bedsheets, light up a candle, empty the litter box, and eat a mediocre salad as you wait for the clock to strike 5pm. 

Time moves at a microscopic pace, probably because you’re staring at the moving hands in hopes that you’ll blink at the pretty boy will be standing at your doorstep. You should focus on something else in the meantime. So you take out your physics notebook and begin reviewing. 

Next week’s quiz will be on a little under ½  of the energy chapter covered so far. You’ve been paying attention, taking diligent notes, and doing pretty good on the homework but the topics still freak you out.  

It’s a STEM thing. You haven’t taken one since your first year so you’re rusty and the material seems extra intimidating. Unlike Jeongguk, Jimin and Taehyung, you don’t study this on a daily basis. 

But there’s nothing you won’t be able to conquer without working. 

About halfway through your revision is when the buzz of your home intercom rings, shocking you out of your thoughts. Slowly, you get up, dusting the invisible particles off your clothes and going over to the machine to let Jeongguk in. There’s a short waiting game, lasting about two minutes, as he probably comes up from the lobby and reaches your door before knocking. 

You’re putting a kettle of water to boil as the sound resonates and you rush over to open the door with a bright smile on your lips. 

“Hey,” you breathe out, taking in the sights before you. 

As always, Jeongguk looks perfect in a gray long-sleeve t-shirt and black sweats. Like the comfy soft boyfriend of your dreams. His hair is a little damp at the ends but it waves a little past his eyebrow as it grows and his backpack straps pull his shirt wide to show off his broad shoulders. 

Fucking hell, you think. You want to eat him up and ruin him. 

Swallowing shakily, you step aside as he grins. “Hi.” Jeongguk’s voice is low, like usual, but a little buttery and less hoarse. Almost sexy. 

Basically, it’s doing things to you. 

Carefully, you lead him inside where Jeongguk takes his shoes off and stares at the place with those big eyes of his. You wonder what goes through that pretty head of his as he stares at the various stuffed animals and the wall art. But, instead, he lands on the Kirby shaped cat-bed at the base of your bed holding Snowball’s half-asleep body. 

“You have a cat?” He asks. 

“Oh, I forgot to tell you.” You walk in front of the thing, squatting down in front of the entrance to hold a hand out for the ball of fluff to sniff. Snowball headbutts you immediately. “You didn’t inherit your dad’s allergy, did you?” 

That would crush you. As much as you like dogs, you’re a cat person at heart or a Snowball person at heart. 

Jeongguk shakes his head no. Then he comes to the same spot you are and gets on his knees on the opposite side of you, watching with curious doe eyes. Slowly, Jeongguk extends his hand out, thinking Snowball needs time to get used to him like some cats do, but no. She’s friendly and extroverted, getting out of the bed to welcome Jeongguk with an excited soft-tone trill.

It’s heartwarming watching her melt into his touch, purring and climbing into Jeongguk’s lap the more he pets her on all of her favorite spots. 

“You’ve been accepted,” you muse, crossing your arms over your stomach in hopes that by pushing on it, that buttery, gooey, sugary feeling will go away. 

“Yay,” Jeongguk cheers cutely. “What’s her name?” 

“Snowball.” 

“Snowball!” He coos. “You are the cutest ever!” Jeongguk leans down to tell her, slight aegyo in his tone. The rounded tip of his nose brushes the top of her small head

No, you are, is what zings through your mind but don’t tell Snowball you thought that.  

Since your knees start screaming at you to get up, you leave Jeongguk and Snowball to go check on the kettle which is at its very end of boiling the water. You get up on your tiptoes to pull out two white mugs and before grabbing your go-to peach green tea packets, you ask Jeongguk. 

“Tea or coffee?” 

Jeongguk looks up from Snowball curled on his lap, the body of a bright grin on his lips. “Coffee please.” When you nod, he goes back to petting the white feline without another care. 

His adorable politeness removes any nerves you had or any prior sheepishness from the way your studio apartment looks. Small and decorated with all of your interests. The only people that have ever been here are your mother, Jeongyeon and Nayeon. Hookups were always at their place or a hotel so it’s a little odd to see Jeongguk seated on your floor. 

But at the same time, it’s Jeongguk on your floor so you aren’t that worried. 

Pouring the mugs with steaming hot water, you grab a packet of instant coffee while your tea bag steeps and you make Jeongguk his coffee. In the meantime, he’s seated by your coffee table/desk, shrugging his backpack off while Snowball sits beside Jeongguk diligently. Like she’s protecting him from whatever she thinks is going to attack him. 

“I like your place,” Jeongguk says, shocking you for a moment. “It’s very,” he trails off. “Very you.” 

You give him a dulled look over your shoulder. “What do you mean by that?”

“You know, it’s got all of your favorite things.” His chin gestures to the Sanrio stuffed animals, the various figurines from all of your favorite animes, the vintage posters, the bunny paraphernalia, all of your favorite things, like Jeongguk said. 

You turn, pressing the small of your back to the cold counter behind you. “Your place is nice too,” you add for the sake of returning the compliment, although it is true. 

Jeongguk shakes his head. “Yeah but, my landlord is a gaping asshole and hates the idea of posters and paintings since he’s scared it’ll fuck up the wall. It’s nice but it feels dead,” he gives your apartment one more look, “but yours has some personality, you know? I’m kinda jealous.” 

His smile is genuine, sweet and kind. You find yourself melting from the sheer sight of it but you hold yourself back. Don’t want to look too whipped.  

Exhaling with some laughter, you start bringing the mugs over along with some biscuits since it’s tea time. “The first apartment we had when we moved here was like that. The landlord didn’t even let my mom change the curtains even though the ones that came with the place had stains all over it.” Jeongguk grimaces at the thought. “But Mrs. Jeong from our Busan apartment was so nice.” 

What a sweet woman. She would often come down whenever she heard one of them had a cold or if there was a birthday and she was never harsh when your mother’s checks bounced or if she needed an extra day because she hadn’t gotten paid yet. She was the reason you thought all landlords had some semblance of empathy but no. 

“We lived there for about fifteen years. It sucked having to leave.” 

“Oh my god, I didn’t know you moved out!” You gasp, shifting yourself to face him completely. “Is your current place closer to the bakery?”

“No, it’s actually farther but it’s closer to the center of Busan so public transport is good. Plus, noona got a car so it’s not too bad.” 

You sigh. Fuck, you miss Busan so much. Even hearing the slight satoori in Jeongguk’s voice does wonders for your nostalgia as yours only peeks out when you’re angry thanks to teasing from all of the Seoul elitists. 

The beach, the food, the fresh air, the streets, you miss all of it. Such a simple time. You’ve always dreamed of settling there once you’ve figured your life out. It was your end goal. 

“I wanna hear more but let’s get physics out of the way first,” you tap your notebook twice and Jeongguk moves to his backpack to take some items out to start the tutoring session. 

And, to no one’s shock, Jeongguk is actually a really great tutor. 

He’s patient with you and doesn’t mind giving you constant encouragement when you get a bit insecure halfway through a word problem. On concepts you’re unsure about, Jeongguk explains them in the simplest way possible without getting haughty. No outbursts if you make the same mistake two times in a row, he never once calls you stupid or says you’re wasting his time. Jeongguk gently coaches you until you try to solve some problems on your own from the textbook without his help and he checks them afterwards, telling you what you did right and wrong.   

Quite literally, this is all that you wanted. 

Someone to answer your questions, explain a few concepts, and walk you through a couple of examples without questioning your smarts as a whole. 

It’s nice. You feel safe and even better, you feel actually prepared for the quiz which is the opposite of how you felt this morning. You aren’t even worried about it at all. 

After clearing through the sample quiz and practice problems easily in a matter of about 2 ½ hours, you two are all done tutoring. Which means freedom for the rest of the night. 

Quickly, you connect your laptop to the small TV mounted on the wall and put on Love Island since neither of you have watched it. Jeongguk is rather curious about it since Jimin and Taehyung won’t stop talking about it,  so you decide to jump into the newest season with him while leaning against your bed and pulling up the menu for the fried chicken place.

“I’m getting honey garlic,” you tell him when you hand him your phone.  

“Then, I’ll do the spicy cheese one.” He leans closer instead of taking the device and you really wish he didn’t because your body reacts to the proximity with goosebumps erupting all over you like you’re a teenager again. 

Your eyes flick up to his side profile, which is literally perfect. His jaw is strong, well cut, defined and his skin is the color of fresh milk tea. You can see little imperfections on his skin like old acne scars, the slightly chapped surface of his lips, and all of his shiny earrings. You love the way he looks and how Jeongguk has grown into his features.  The urge to trace his jawline with your tongue is insane, almost caustic inside of you. It’s impossible to push down. You sort of dressed up for this tutoring date, throwing on a pair of your favorite panties, lathering yourself in the softest lotion; you took all of the right steps and you’re hungry for a certain ending even though there’s a high chance it won’t happen at all. The horny side of you is begging for you to shoot your shot. 

But you stop. Not yet. Not right now. 

While Jeongguk picks out drinks, appetizers and the dessert he wants,  you rush to the bathroom for a second. In the mirror, you take notice of your reddened cheeks and parted lips and the messy wisps of hair sticking out. You quickly tie it back into a loose braid and then splash some water on your face. 

Reel it back, bitch.  

While in the bathroom, you call out. “Hey Jeongguk? Could you get my wallet? It’s on top of my dresser, the one next to my closet.” Might as well pay now so you can get the chicken faster. 

“Okay!” He responds. 

The noise your stomach makes is loud and painful. The salad you had did nothing to satiate your cravings so the thought of chicken, perfectly fried to a crisp and covered in garlicky sweet sauce has you practically salivating. Especially since you’ve been eating so healthily as of late. It’s nice to treat yourself to some fast food.

Afterwards, you trudge back on over to the coffee table and plop down silently while Jeongguk puts in your card information. Meanwhile, you remember to feed Snowball for dinner and give her some much needed attention by bringing her to sit with the two of you so she can be pet and loved. 

Jeongguk’s warmth emanates from his shoulder that is inches away from you while the Love Island intro song plays at the start of every new season. Half-heartedly, you watch the corny antics as each contestant introduces themselves with the main host speaking over and you think about how much internal anguish you’re feeling at the moment. 

An object prods into your forearm. You look down to see the rounded edge of your credit card. “I paid,” Jeongguk tells you. You don’t respond verbally, taking the plastic and shoving it into the slot of your card wallet. 

“Thanks,” you mumble. You bring your knees up to your chest and rest your chin on top of them, hoping to get into the various shirtless tattooed guys on your television screen. It’s an easy task. Shows like Love Island don’t ask too much of you but you can get into it enough where other thoughts begin to fade. 

You check your phone to see that the chicken should be delivered in about 10 minutes. Then you can have food and TV to reward you for all of your hard work. 

The beginning is awkward as each person picks their couple purely based on looks and their name. You cringe when a guy comes in and no one steps up to match with him so he has to randomly choose a girl who was either too shy to step up to say she thinks he’s cute or not at all interested in him. It sounds like such an awkward place to be in and you’d hate to be on either side of the situation. 

Jeongguk, on the other hand, isn’t a reality TV kind of guy. So he has a million questions and comments throughout the 57 minute episode. 

“I don’t get it. They just shove 10 hot people in a house and they have to like each other?” 

“Fuck, that’s how you’re supposed to say Leicester?” 

“That one guy looks like such a fuck boy. Why would you ever get a chest tattoo of an eagle?” 

“What happens if you don’t like anyone you match with? Can you just leave?” You shrug in response. This is your first time watching this show too.  “I’d leave so fast if I was on this show. None of these people would interest me.”

“Me too,” you respond, playing with the frayed edge of an old receipt sticking out of one of the wallet pockets. “I’d get the ick so fast and then hop on the first plane back home.” 

Jeongguk’s bantering turns the simple binge into something more. You start laughing, indulging his every whim, making fun of the guys trying too hard to flirt and seem suave and it’s really fun. You manage to barely remember the way you felt when you came out of the bathroom. 

Is this how it should always be? Platonically hanging out? 

Was it a good thing that you stopped yourself before your desires took over your logic?

You don’t know. You don’t want to either. You just want to sit back and enjoy the rest of this lovely day off. 

After another few minutes of watching the show, you feel Jeongguk’s eyes on you. Wide, glittery, washing over every inch of your skin like he’s trying to commit your features to memory. You raise an eyebrow in question. For a moment, he doesn’t do anything, just stares at you, and then he points to your phone screen where a notification from the delivery app shows. 

The food is here. 

Quickly, you go down, slipping some slides on your feet and shoving your hands in the pockets of your sweater. The delivery person hands you the plastic bag with steaming boxes and you thank them before trundling back upstairs. The smell that wafts to you is mouth-wateringly delicious. 

This. This is your treat after a grueling two weeks of school. 

You bring it up for you and Jeongguk to dig into. The chicken is fresh and delicious and in combination with Jeongguk’s commentary, you start to really enjoy yourself. Especially as all your sex related thoughts begin to push to the back of your brain and the night gets more fun yet relaxing. The food is good and the drinks are refreshing. 

Afterwards, you crack open a bag of  kit kats to share with him to cap off the meal with something sweet since none of the desserts at the restaurant sounded appealing to either of you. 

Love Island is addictive. Your friends were right about it. Two episodes later and the two of you are curious about who is the new islander coming and how they are going to shake things up. 

The TV is on the wall mounted across your bed and coffee table. For the sake of your backs, you move Jeongguk to the bed and take some pillows to lean against so your backs aren’t completely sore by the next morning. 

Although, you do wish your back was sore for another reason but let’s not get into that just yet. 

Since you don’t have a lot of pillows, you share your main one, meaning you’re a lot closer to Jeongguk than you originally planned. To the point where your arms are pressed against each other and your legs are brushing. It makes you nervous to be this close. His perfume is a strong elixir, heady and comforting, pushing you to lean in and bury your face into the delectable skin of his neck. Even his neck, wow. The skin is so smooth, there’s a mole right in the middle of it. You want to sink your teeth into the flesh and use your lips and tongue to paint it all sorts of beautiful colors. 

Sweat begins to form on your hairline. You get nervous with Jeongguk sitting so close to you, hands itching to do something. First they play around with the single star pendant on your necklace, then at a loose thread on your comforter, and then you decide to redo your hair. 

The braid has become a straggly mess with you leaned against things so you pull your hair tie off and begin to undo your braid. At the very least, it is something for your hands to do, keep them occupied and away. 

From Jeongguk that is. You don’t want to obstruct his view or break his attention. 

Pushing off from the pillow, suddenly something happens on screen that makes your head turn abruptly  to see who said what and your hair wacks Jeongguk right in the eye. 

“Shit,” he hisses, clutching his face, curling inwards. 

You begin to panic, turning in on your knees to get closer to him. 

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry! I was trying to tie my hair and then something happened on screen so I–” you stop midway, no need for an explanation. Instead, check to see if your hair scratches him in the cornea or not.

Jeongguk’s legs, that were once crossed, are now spread wide without your body taking up the space next to him on your bed. Without a second thought, you cross over the one closest to you and end up in between his two long legs. One hand on his shoulder to grab his attention. 

“Are you okay?” You ask worriedly, trying to search his gaze but Jeongguk’s eyes are turned down. “Jeongguk?” 

Muffled, he speaks up. “Y-yeah. I’m fine.” Jeongguk drops his hands onto his thighs before blinking a few times and you see a telltale tear pool from his big doe eyes, dripping down the slope of his cheek. 

A huge wave of guilt crashes inside of you. 

You made Jeongguk cry. 

Not intentionally but still. He’s crying. 

“Aw,” you cup his cheeks, searching his irises for anything like you’re a licensed ophthalmologist or something, wiping the stray tear with your thumb.“I’m really sorry. Do you need eye drops or anything?” You sit down on your feet, leaning closer to see him. “I can go check in my medicine box if I have any left from Spring.”

He doesn’t respond. 

 Jeongguk freezes immediately with you between his legs. As if all of his blood stops flowing through his veins and he’s turned to stone by Medusa. He glances at every corner of your face, at the strands of hair framing it, like he’s never seen you before. His jaw unhinges and the tip of his pink tongue is just barely visible. 

You don’t even notice how close you get. So worried about the possibility of your hair scratching his cornea that you forget that your knees are brushing against his crotch. Nor do you think about how your face is near, you’re literally staring down like you’re about to kiss him despite dreaming about being in this position all day. 

The only thing echoing in your mind is: Is Jeongguk okay? 

Not another thought. 

“I–” he stops, lips parted, “I’m okay, really.” 

Jeongguk’s palm gently pushes your hands off of his cheeks and he shifts in his spot. 

He’s practically shielding himself for you. His legs are pushed up to his chest now. Jeongguk looks like an animal that’s getting scolded for spilling food everywhere and you cannot understand why on earth he’d be making a face like that. 

“Is something wrong?” You ask. Jeongguk covers his face but you can see his ears starting to turn red. 

You inch closer to him and gently wrap your fingers around his wrist. You’re so close you can smell the gentle perfume he’s sprayed on his neck and the inviting scent of his hair serum. But he’s wriggling around like a fish out of water and it’s scaring you. 

His hands move down, ripping his wrist out of your grip to cover up his crotch and you see a glimpse of the obvious bulge poking from his sweatpants. 

Oh. 

You recoil, muscles tightening as your brain moves a mile a minute. Something Jeongguk must sense from you because he starts explaining way faster than you thought he would. 

“I’m sorry! This is–I can leave if you’d like–” 

“It’s okay, Jeongguk,” you mumble. Your voice is soft. 

It’s okay. It’s more than okay. 

It’s better than okay. 

Jeongguk continues to panic, deaf to your obvious nonchalance about him popping a boner right after you almost blinded him. “I don’t–It just sort of happened-and-and I wasn’t like–thinking a-about you or doing anything–it just,” he pauses midway, sighs to catch his breath, stops nervously stuttering,  and then turns to get up which makes you a little nervous. “I’ll go to the bathroom and get rid of it–”

In a flash, your hand wraps around his wrist to stop him from moving. 

“It’s okay,” you repeat. “I’m not grossed out.” Literally, you are the complete opposite of that but barely you mull it over one last time before speaking up again. “I could fix it, if you’d like.” Just before your conscience could stop you.

This is it. This is your chance to have him. Just once, satiate that need, and then you can go back to normal. 

The universe practically handed you this opportunity on a golden platter so you should take it. Given that Jeongguk is down too. 

His eyes go adorably wide. “W-what?” Jeongguk stutters. 

“I could help you deal with it.”  You say once more. 

At least your voice is clear and sure. On the inside, you’re just a giant piece of adrenaline. 

Jeongguk relaxes some more, gulping, and you watch his Adam’s apple bob. His shoulders broaden like he’s trying to seem confident but you can tell that he’s nervous as fuck too. 

“Why would you do that?” 

Oh, you pretty thing. You have no idea, do you?

“I don’t mind,” you shrug. Feeling bold, the hand that rests on his shoulder squeezes the mass indulgently and Jeongguk feels exquisite. You want to rip all of these clothes off of his body. “You helped me with physics so,” trailing off, as if it’s the only logical solution to this problem. 

To you, it feels like it is. Trade an A on a quiz for an orgasm. 

Plus, you finally get to rid yourself of this intense sexual tension building inside of you. A combination of your hormones and your loneliness all cooked up to make a touch-starved mess at the tiniest thing. Being with Jeongguk could be just what you need to get your focus back on yourself. He’s gorgeous, inside and out, so there’s no intense guilt to bubble from letting some douchebag grow an even bigger ego by sleeping with you. 

Jeongguk is still apprehensive. “You… you know you don’t-like-owe it to me to fix this, right? Just because I got hard doesn’t mean it’s your job to do something for me.” 

You’re taken aback. 

Most guys wouldn’t have even protested. Your mouth would be on his dick and the minute they come, you’d be all alone. They’re the types to view sex in a very individualistic manner. 

A dopey smile makes its way to your lips. “I know. This isn’t a really transactional thing.” You cup his cheek with one hand this time and trace the deep scar there absentmindedly. “I actually want to do this.” 

If Jeongguk were to hear the insane things your brain produces, you wonder if he’d run for the hills or be flattered. Definitely the former. 

“Okay but um,” he avoids your eyes, looking off to the side and you sort of love Jeongguk like this. It’s so different from his nonchalant easygoing behavior.  “I’ve never,” he searches for the words, changes his mind halfway through, and finds another path. “No one has ever like-oh god this is embarrassing–”

You decide to save him. “No one’s ever given you a blowjob?” 

He nods behind his hands that rose to cover his reddening face during his reveal. God, he’s adorable. 

“Really?”

“Is that such a surprise?”

“Yeah, I mean, you’re hot.” You say truthfully. His change of expression does wonders for your confidence. So much so that you decide to bite the bullet and run a hand through his hair affectionately. “How far have you gone?”

The strands are silky smooth, flowing through your fingers like water, and Jeongguk’s eyes flutter shut at the sensation as he mumbles out a response. 

“I kissed someone but only a few times. I got dragged to a high school party and played spin the bottle but nothing more than that.” 

This is new for you. Almost every guy you’ve ever been with is experienced or way more experienced than you. From the guy in high school who took your virginity all the way to Wooshik. And they varied from vanilla guys to those who are super into the dom/sub spiel. You’ve never been the experienced one and it feels different. 

Like you’re corrupting him, forcibly taking away something precious. Like Mrs. Robinson on the prowl for someone younger whom she can use to her advantage. 

And even though that isn’t the case with you and Jeongguk, you want this to be different than your first time. If anything, you want him to feel safe and wanted and to let him know that, at any point, if he wants to stop then it will stop. Just like there’s no obligation for you to make him feel good, there is no obligation for him to return the favor. 

“Then let’s start with that and then we can move on if you’re comfortable. Or we don’t have to do anything and we can just forget about it. Whatever you want.” 

You won’t do anything unless he wants you to. As much as you want to touch him, as much as you need sex, you’re totally fine with taking things at his pace. 

And if he rejects this entire thing and opts to fix his situation in the bathroom, that’s okay too. 

Jeongguk presses the back of his head against the wall in thought, giving you an amazing view of his jawline, until he shyly speaks. “Okay.” 

“Okay?” You want to be sure, hiding the fact that you are utterly elated on the inside.  Jeongguk just turns more red as he avoids your eyes peering into him. 

“You–we can start. I-if that’s what you want.” 

You exhale through your nose. “Oh, you have no idea how much I want to.” 

Before he can question you, you lean down and gently connect your lips with his. 

There’s a moment where it feels foreign, where your body becomes covered with goosebumps at the sheer adrenaline coursing through you and the way your brain freaks out at the change. This is happening, you’re finally doing this, but you take a second to just press and feel. Be in the moment and stop trying to control everything, then you’re fine. 

It’s easy because Jeongguk’s lips are pillowy soft. 

Starting off with a quick peck, you split for a second, nose brushing, and then you kiss Jeongguk again. This time it’s much stronger. Any lack of confidence melts when your lips move languidly against Jeongguk. He’s responsive to your every movement, feeling the inside of your mouth with his own, while his hands rest appropriately on your hips. His lip balm is rose flavored and delectable. Jeongguk is a good kisser. 

The noises fill the quiet apartment as you move closer and cup his jaw on one side while your other hand goes back to his silky soft hair to move your lips cohesively. You adjust yourself so that instead of kneeling between his legs, you’re straddling his thick muscular thighs and they feel exquisite against you, pulling a soft sigh from your lips. 

Jeongguk must feel your exhale, gaining some bravado to take the lead when he kisses you, setting the pace as his own hands begin to move from their comfortable spot on your hips. Part of you really wants to push them down to your ass to feel those big sexy hands grab a handful but you want to wait to see what he does.

He kisses you a little wet but wanton, igniting a deep burning flame inside of you. It’s bright, hot, and you can’t pull yourself away from him the more your lips collide, suckle, and slot. 

Jeongguk’s hands begin tracing up your back with a feather-light touch, and your lips part at the feeling when he unexpectedly inches his tongue into your mouth. 

Looks like he wasn’t lying when he said he’s kissed before. 

Crackles of pleasure bubble in you. Kissing can turn you on, if the guy is good at what he does, and Jeongguk is doing just that. That throbbing sensation takes over and you find yourself clenching around nothing, dreaming of having something just fill you just how you like. His tongue tangles with yours. The kiss starts to get much sloppier, something you didn’t realize you were craving until now, and you rise up on your knees while gently tugging on his hair in a flash of atypical roughness on your end. 

Your mind refuses to process that this is Jihyo’s little brother who is kissing you silly. Right now, he’s Jeongguk. 

Jeongguk with the gorgeous eyes and the gorgeous body who got hard the moment you inched closer. 

You decide to grind down on him, especially when the curve of his bulge becomes more prominent against your ass, and Jeongguk muffles a noise into your mouth. The fabric of your underwear drags across your neglected clit, pulling another sigh out of you. It’s a small jolt of pleasure and you can feel yourself dampen even more. From the action and from the way Jeongguk sounds. 

Another moan comes from Jeongguk when you grind against him again and again, whiny yet soft. It’s doing something to you. His hands squeeze your hips and then one drifts to the back of your thigh. 

Pulling away to catch your breath, you press your forehead against his. There’s a thin layer of sweat building on your skin but your arms loop comfortably around Jeongguk’s neck, tugging his body forwards. His eyes glimmer at you, with kiss-bruised lips and the beginnings of his pearly white bunny teeth peeking out from between. You resist the urge to dive down again, instead wanting to appreciate the absolute view you have right now. 

Your fingers tangle in a lock of his soft black hair. “You’re so gorgeous,” you whisper, taking in his forehead, his jawline, his perfect nose, and every single one of his moles. 

Jeongguk, who is already blushed and heavily breathing, gets even more shy at your compliment, looking away from you to avoid your teasing smile. Which just makes you want to shower him in more praise just to see how embarrassed he can get. 

“So pretty, so handsome,” your finger traces his jaw before going down to his unblemished neck where the skin looks so soft but the area is taut and beautiful. You want to see how he’d look with hickeys. “I want to mark you,” you point to the middle of the right side of his neck, “right here.” 

Jeongguk’s eyebrows raise to his hairlines. “You want to give me a hickey?” He says incredulously. You nod. 

“I want you to remember this.”

Usually, you aren’t the possessive type but you think about Juri, walking through campus and finding Jeongguk, someone that she’s expressed interest in, like this. Covered in marks you left, reeling after the pleasure you gave him. You know the chance is unlikely and if Jeongguk were to run into her, you doubt he’d tell her any bit of what you two had done but it’s the principle of it all. 

That she can be a misogynistic pick-me/not-like-the-other girl all she wants, you still pull better than she ever will. 

Maybe then, she’ll keep your name out of her damn mouth. 

Jeongguk exhales quietly, holding some weight. “Do you actually think I’ll forget this?” 

You smirk. “Dunno, but I can’t let a pretty little thing like you get away, can I? Especially with all of those other girls who love to stare.”

It happens often whenever you two would be walking from class or on public transport and people would stare at Jeongguk. Not that you’d blame them. With a face like that, Jeongguk could debut as an idol and win the hearts of millions, he could act or model even, but then you become more aware of the fact that someone even better could scoop him up at any time and you wouldn’t stand a chance against them. 

“I won’t,” he starts, shaking his head with eyes so honest and truthful that you almost collapse in his hold. “I won’t go away and I won’t forget, okay?” Jeongguk pleads with you, holding your body still with two exact hands on your hips. 

You swear your stomach feels a group of butterflies flapping about, along with unicorns and rainbows and glitter and all of that silly shit when Jeongguk says that. The hand in his hair cups his cheek, thumb tracing his cheekbone. 

“You won’t?” 

“Never,” Jeongguk presses firmly. “And,” he hesitates for a moment, “and I’m not looking at anyone else right now, either. There’s just you.” 

There’s just you. 

The sentence sounds like a confession. Like he’s being honest while you were just being horny and possessive. You feel your act drop, whatever front you were putting up, it drops, and you don’t know what to say at first. 

The truth? You aren’t thinking about anyone else either. You don’t want to. You want Jeongguk. There’s only Jeongguk right now. 

Had this been with any other person, you wouldn’t feel comfortable being honest with them. You wouldn’t trust them not to use that against you but you know Jeongguk and you trust Jeongguk more than anything. 

“I… I’m not looking at anyone either,” you manage to mumble out. Now you’re the one who is all red and shy. 

And watching Jeongguk’s expression change when you said that… priceless. 

He stares at you like you hung all of the stars in the sky, that you push the sun up in the sky every morning, like the dew droplets on the blades of grass, like it was just you. 

It’s perfect yet so much at the same time. You want to say more but you don’t know what else you could say so you meet his gaze, then dip down to his lips, and he nods so you lean in to kiss him again. 

He makes a noise of surprise, immediately licking fiercely into your mouth to meet the movements of your lips. Slowly, Jeongguk pulls away from the wall and begins moving down to lay against the bed, holding himself up with a forearm on the soft material and strengthening his hold on you so you wouldn’t slip off from him. 

You feel Jeongguk grin against your lips at your eagerness but he maintains the energy. Arching your back a little, mostly for show, you reach back and push one of Jeongguk’s hands further down to your ass. He’s been so careful and gentle with you so far and, as nice as it is, you want more. His eyebrows furrow against you, curling his palm over the tangible curve before giving your ass a tentative squeeze and pulling a muffled moan from you. 

So Jeongguk does it again. Does it with more vigor, digging his fingers into the flesh of your cheek and grinding his hips upwards. Gets you throbbing insufferably and so wet. 

“Jeongguk,” you gasp into his mouth, meeting the movement of his hips with your own. The bulge in his pants becomes really prominent as you break the kiss, moving down his strong jawline to his perfect neck. 

Whatever perfume he uses, the smell is strong now, filling your olfactory senses with sweet powdery softness. Your lips search for that spot you ache to mark, digging your teeth into the gentle flesh and soothing  the area over with your tongue. 

The noise he makes…

Jeongguk whimpered when you were sucking and biting on his skin. 

It took so much willpower for you to not rip his damn top off when that sound reached your ears. You were so wet and throbbing in your pants, desperate for some form of touch besides your soaked underwear against your clit. If you could, you’d cover his entire body with hickeys, paint his neck all sorts of beautiful colors if it were socially acceptable for someone to be walking around like that and not have everyone’s immediate thought be that he got jumped or something. 

But you practice restraint and suck on the hot skin, kissing, and doing your best to keep yourself under control even if your wetness was starting to become bothersome. Jeongguk’s hands on your ass don’t help with that either. 

The hold helps you feel the shape of his fingers which are pretty long and thick. You’ve seen them writing, typing, gripping onto the pole in the subway so the veins and tendons pop out and you’ve reached a conclusion that you need to feel them inside of you. Pumping deep and slow. Since the digits are longer than yours, they would reach that damned spot inside, turn you into a shaking, coming, mess. You crave that. 

Even before Wooshik, these dry spells weren’t uncommon. You know that it’s just your monthly horror revving up the hormones that’s making you want some dick like water in a desert but still. 

A girl has her needs. Especially when said girl is constantly hanging around a hot guy. 

Once you pull away from his neck after creating a total of three hickeys, you sit up. All of the kissing and petting and grinding has made you all sweaty so you quickly pull off your quarter-zip hoodie, leaving the plain t-shirt you have on underneath with no bra. 

Jeongguk’s eyes fall to the way your breasts lift and fall with the movement, jiggling into place as you throw the piece of clothing somewhere. The change in temperature has your nipples straining against the thin material and you can tell his attention has shifted. 

With a cocked brow, you smirk. “Want my shirt off?” You ask, slowly twisting the hem around a single finger. 

“Yeah.” 

His hands give your ass another appreciative squeeze. One that nearly has you dropping the control but you rebuild quickly. 

“Take this off then.” You place a hand down on the base of his stomach. Jeongguk’s shirt is thin so you can feel his stomach through the fabric. You need it off asap. 

Jeongguk’s lips part. You think he’s going to deny at first. Maybe he isn’t comfortable showing you his body yet. That’s okay; you don’t mind. Whatever he’s comfortable with, right? 

But in a split second, he grips the gray fabric and sits up slightly to peel it off of his body and gives you a view of what he has underneath. 

Which is just exquisite. 

Jeongguk treats his body like it’s a work of art. When he isn’t gaming or studying, he’s in the gym and he has one of the strictest meal plans you ever see. Allowing himself one cheat meal out of the week and then sticking to his rice, steamed veggie and lean meats for the rest of the days. And that dedication shows in the way his body looks. 

While still being thin and put together, his stomach is defined with steel-cut abs and his obliques are enviable along with sturdy shoulders, firm chest and deliciously bulky arms. 

You’ve never really cared about the body of whoever you were sleeping with. Muscles are nice and hot but they aren’t a necessity. Honestly, having a handsome/pretty face can get a guy farther than a six pack but now you might be changing your mind on that stance. Because Jeongguk has a pretty face and a six pack. 

Or is that a twelve pack? You didn’t really count. 

A single finger starts at Jeongguk’s sternum, tracing down his body to the waistband of his sweats, taking your time to appreciate every patch of skin and flesh. You inch backwards so you are sitting more on his thighs than his lap where his bulge is firmly straining against his pants. Looking all inviting. Your thighs clench together to relieve yourself from the lack of attention.

But before you can wrap your hands around him, Jeongguk’s fingers close around your wrist to stop you. 

“You said if I took my shirt off, you would too,” he reminds you. His tone is low, barely teetering into a domineering one. Brings a rush of arousal to your pussy and you immediately bite the inside of your cheek. 

Jeongguk ordering you around is… really hot. 

“Eager.” 

The plain t-shirt is rather unflattering on the outside so you do away with it quickly, feeling the mass of your breasts lift and bounce back down while adjusting to the temperature change. Your nipples are hard and goosebumps cover your upper body. 

But that’s mainly caused by the way Jeongguk’s eyes practically ravish you. 

You wonder if he’s more of an ass guy or a boob guy. Because his grip has stayed on the plump curve of your backside but his tongue swipes over his bottom lip while staring at your tits like he’s at the Louvre and he has two seconds to take a glance at the Mona Lisa. 

  There’s a sense of vulnerability to have him look at you like this. Like you’re something perfect when all everyone else, including yourself, does is point out your faults. 

It’s too much. You need to make a move, get his eyes off of you, so your hand goes back to the waistline of his pants where his boxer band flashes quickly. Calvin Klein, black in color to match the color of his sweatpants. 

“Can I?” You ask, looking down at the heavy print showing through the material and your mouth waters. 

Jeongguk nods immediately. “Please.” 

Carefully, you peel back the first layer of clothing. The tight elastic pressure around his waist is enough to slowly peel back Jeongguk’s boxers, exposing the beginning of his ilium but then he raises his hips some more until his sweatpants are pushed a little past the beginning of his quad muscles. You desperately want to see the sinew on his legs because you’ve been feeling them flex and move against you this entire time and they are just to your expectations. His skin is soft, a little tanned, thin hairs barely visible on his thighs from the hallowed light. 

“What do you want? My hand or my mouth?” 

You said a blowjob but whatever he wants, you will do. 

His eyes darken with lust. “Y-your hand, first,” Jeongguk stutters, shaking some hair off his sweaty forehead.  You try not to smile excitedly at the word first. 

“Okay.” 

After pressing one more kiss on his perfect nose, your palm cups his bulge. Against the material, you can see somewhat of a defined shape. It’s thick, impressive looking, and your wetness is soaking through your pants, effectively ruining the pair but that’s the least of your concerns. You fight the urge to grind into something, relieve some of the throbbing pressure from your core, clenching around nothing in hopes that it will fix. 

Jeongguk says your name carefully, checking to see if you’re still okay with continuing and your attention is back on him. You give him a wry smile in response and then work on slowly tugging his boxers off of his hips to free his cock. 

You gasp when his length slaps against his bare stomach, incapable of holding it in. 

 He’s big and thick; bigger and thicker than any guy you’ve ever been with. Jeongguk’s dick is pretty. Two veins trailing up the sides and pulsating with blood, the tip peeking with a small droplet of pearly white pre-cum. 

“Fuck,” you curse, reaching a hand forward to barely wrap around him. Your fingers manage to encompass the whole circumference but you can only accredit that to your long digits. Otherwise he would be too girthy. 

Jeongguk’s eyes flutter shut when you pump his length once. His jawline strains sexily as little puffs of air escape his lips. He looks so good when he’s pleased. As if he was made to only look like that. The emotion sits perfectly on his pretty features. 

A bead of pearly white fluid seeps from the stop, collecting slightly over the flesh-toned head. You lick your lips. “I don’t think you’ll fit in my mouth.” 

“W-what?” He stammers. 

“You’re too big, baby,” you purr, panicking momentarily about the pet name. “Shit,” swearing under your breath when you feel him twitch. Then, you let a fat drop of spit fall from your mouth and onto the head to aid your hand gliding up and down. “My throat will definitely be sore tomorrow.” 

Not that you’re complaining. 

The boy beneath you flushes. “I–” his breathing quickening when your hand works over him expertly, barely a moan. “You–um–you don’t have to,” Jeongguk offers. 

You coo, reaching forward to boop Jeongguk’s cute little nose with your free hand, still slowly jerking his cock with the other, giving the fat length a nice squeeze at the base. “But I want to,” forcing a pout and watching his gaze turn heady with euphoria. “Don’t you want me to use my mouth? To suck you off nice and properly?” 

This is new for you. You are usually rather submissive in bed and you’ve always liked it that way. If anything, you sought after guys who were more dominant because it was an immediate turn-on for you but now that you’ve made Jeongguk all pliant and soft, you can’t stop. He just looks so perfect. His eyes clench shut, creases appearing at the sides when your hands squeeze his length teasingly on the upstroke, legs going more rigid. 

Jeongguk doesn’t respond at first so you lean down, holding yourself up with one hand splayed on the mattress, right next to his head, and increase the pace of your hand. You pay special attention to the tip and the spot right under where he’s sensitive, rubbing a thumb over the area to collect more precum on the way down his cock. Jeongguk sputters out a soft noise, gritting his teeth tightly. 

“You have to tell me what you want, Jeongguk,” you muse. The tips of your noses graze, your breasts meeting his hot skin. Jeongguk’s hands, which switched to curling into the fabric of your duvet, go to your thighs to squeeze them. At that point, you decide to only stimulate the head of his cock with the pad of your thumb, rubbing teasingly tight circles while Jeongguk leaks all over, rivulets of creamy white decorating his length.  “My hands? Or my mouth? What do you want me to do?”

Jeongguk goes crazy.  His back arches off the mattress along with a high whine emitting from his swollen lips. He looks so overwhelmed with red cheeks and his hands gripping onto your body like it’s a lifeline. 

“Y-your mouth! I want your mouth, please,” he whines once more, digging his nails into your thighs, surely leaving indents. You smile, pressing a sweet kiss to his lips before descending down his taut body. 

Jeongguk is a work of art after all and you need time to appreciate him. 

Your hands stop their tortuous movement, leaving Jeongguk’s cock to hold yourself up while inching down. You kiss down the right side of his neck. The skin is salty from sweat but you don’t mind. You kiss all the marks you left, the mole on his chest, the beginning of his abs (you pay special attention to this area), licking up a stripe to feel the ridges of his body before you end up on your knees in between his legs. 

While you were kissing him, Jeongguk kicked his sweatpants off his legs, allowing you to capture a full glimpse of his meaty thighs. His skin is flawless and soft looking and you bookmark the thought of leaving red lines atop his thighs while riding him like a fucking stallion for later. 

His length deliciously twitches again from the brief lack of touch. You eye it for a split second, mouth watering, before taking the head between your lips. He throws his head back in satisfaction. 

Jeongguk tastes good. A mix of skin, salt, but he isn’t bitter; soft, pliable skin meets the plush membrane in your mouth. You moan out while your tongue circles the head, awarding you with a fresh spurt of pre-cum. 

Giving head isn’t everyone’s favorite (totally understandable) but it’s definitely yours. You don’t know why, maybe you have an oral fixation that you don’t know about, but it always makes you wet and desperate for more. Especially when the guy you’re blowing has hot moans like Jeongguk does. 

“Fuck,” he drawls out, while your tongue moves over him. He wraps a hand around the back of your hair gently, barely pushing you down to take more of him into your mouth. 

Ideally, you’d punish Jeongguk for that. If you were continuing this dominatrix stint you have going on then he shouldn’t be pushing you and trying to choke you but you drop the whole act. 

Because he feels so good. 

Your wetness is trickling down the swell of your ass as more of your mouth stretches to accommodate his length. The back of his head is about to reach the back of your throat when you wrap a hand around to pump what you can’t reach. It’ll be impossible to take him all in one go. You need to warm up first. Fat rivulets of spit trail down to his base and collect there to ease your ministrations. 

“So good,” Jeongguk praises, tangling his fingers in your hair while the wet sucking noises filter through your apartment. “You’re s-so good at this.” 

Jeongguk’s low voice isn’t helping you. Another pathetically whiny noise is muffled by his big dick going back into your mouth, swallowing around the tip as you take a little more than before. 

Swirling your mouth, using the inside of your cheek, the side of your tongue and the puckered membrane of your lips in conjunction with your nimble hands, jacking his thick cock and feeling the skin get hotter, wetter, with every second that passes by. 

He’s probably big enough to make you squirt. Though, you are the type to squirt easily, but guys around his size tend to hit the g-spot head on, to turn you into a shaking, coming, moaning mess in their arms. The thought really gets you going, imagining yourself sinking down on him like a Queen perched on her throne and spilling all over his thighs with a loud noise. 

Would he like it? Would he want to see you do it again? 

Fuck, you need a little bit of friction here. The combination of sucking him off, Jeongguk’s breathy whiny noises, and the deranged thoughts in your brain make your pussy so needy, demanding attention. 

You think about reaching back and rubbing yourself, just for a second, but your brain is too transfixed on Jeongguk. 

“P-please don’t stop-p,” he begs, “Please–Ah, yes.” Sounding like he’s about to cry. 

Your wrist flicks up during your motions while you pay special attention to the head. Jeongguk twitches some more and judging by how hard he grips your hair, he must be close. 

So you make sure your tongue stimulates all of the areas that make Jeongguk quiver in your hold. Your back arches, suckling at the skin. 

“Can I,” he interrupts himself with a moan, hands shaking, “Can I cum in your mouth?” He asks politely. 

You pull off with a breathy sigh, moving your hand to respond. “Please.” You want to taste more of him, until he’s filling your throat up completely. 

Sinking back down, you take in as much of him as you can, deep-throating his cock to the best of your abilities. It’s wet, the noises are filthy, salacious, but you don’t really care that much. Jeongguk’s cock twitches again as he spurts into your mouth, awarding you with his release as he whines throughout. 

And like a good girl, you swallow every last drop, refusing to let even a tiny drop of it go to waste. 

Jeongguk pants. His fingers slip out of your ratty hair and his hand slap over his forehead while he collects himself. His thighs shake with the aftershocks of his orgasm, sweat collected at the enticing dip of his collarbones, making his skin look like it’s speckled with diamonds. While you sit up slowly and wipe the back of your mouth, tucking his slowly softening length back into his boxers with a soft pat. 

For a few seconds, he doesn’t say anything to you. All Jeongguk does is try to catch his breath, probably slow his heart rate a bit. 

In that short period of time, your brain speeds at 100 miles per second. Did Jeongguk like it? Did Jeongguk hate it? Will he let you do it again? Oh my god, do you want to do it again and again and again. Is he uncomfortable around you now? What next? 

Your thighs are folded under you, watching Jeongguk’s stomach tense and flex as he leans on his elbows to look at you. 

His lips are adorable pouty and the hickeys look really pretty on his skin. You want so much more from him but you’re too afraid to vocalize it. You don’t want to stop. You don’t want to wake up and force this memory out of your brain. Jeongguk is so pretty and perfect and so easy to want. 

“C’mere,” he says softly, exhaling quickly with a stupid grin. Unsure if he meant his lap or right next to him, you shuffle closer until Jeongguk pats the space next to his body and you move accordingly. Hands an knees on the bed like a slinking cat. 

The air, which was once zinging with tension, has simmered down a little. Jeongguk’s arm stretches out for you to lean your head on his bicep. Up close, his eyes sparkle more than the stars in the night sky as Jeongguk pushes all of the loose strands of hair out of your sweaty face. 

“You were really good,” he repeats. “Thank you for that.” 

It feels weird to be thanked for sucking dick so you shake your head. “No need to thank me.” And because it doesn’t hurt to be truthful, you open your mouth once more. “I really wanted to.” 

Jeongguk’s expression warms; his smile gets wider and his cheeks get rounder. His thumb traces the curve of your jaw, dancing over your features like he’s trying to commit them to memory again.

“So can I return the favor?” 

Your heart leaps to your throat. You were sure Jeongguk was under the impression that this was a simple blowie, the end. Nothing else and nothing more. Even though you wanted more, you were ready to leave this romp at that but he proves you wrong once again. 

You raise an eyebrow. “You want to?” 

Most guys don’t. Most guys give up the second they cum without even offering.

But Jeongguk fucking smirks when he noticed your shocked expression. “I really want to,” he copies you. 

Fuck, you think. You put on a nice pair of underwear thinking that this would happen and then the entire tutoring session you were gaslighting yourself into thinking that nothing would ever happen and now here you are. 

There’s no doubt in your mind that you want this. Your panties are soaked and your core is aching to be touched. You need it so bad that you might never forgive yourself for turning this down.  

“Okay.” 

“Okay?” Jeongguk repeats. 

“Touch me. Please Jeongguk,” you plead with him, placing a soft hand on his warm chest. The breath is just about to escape you when he leans in to kiss you with his supple lips. 

You almost cringe. You must taste like him and you’re sure that there’s still some moisture collected in the corner of your mouth but Jeongguk doesn’t care. He licks hotly into your mouth, taking control during the kiss which surprises you completely. 

Gone is the shy whimpering boy who begged you not to stop. Jeongguk’s fingers squeeze your hips then pull one of your legs over his thighs so that you get even closer to him and your center is more exposed. That same hand travels upwards to your tits and cups the mass, and it’s your turn to shake in his hold. 

He’s starting off perfectly, like he knows what moves drive you crazy just by looking at you. 

You sigh softly when your lips break and he begins kissing down your neck. Unlike you, Jeongguk doesn’t leave any marks. Instead, he’s strategic about creating a clean line from your mouth, smooching along your jaw, then the side of your neck, to the middle of your collarbones before meeting your boobs. Jeongguk hauls you up the bed a little so he’s facing your chest instead, bringing your body closer with a splayed hand on your back. 

“Jeongguk,” you try, unsure as to why you’re calling him out. Jeongguk pays you no attention, transfixed by your naked breasts. He expels something inaudible under his breath and then takes one of your nipples into his mouth while tweaking the other, causing your body to go rigid. 

His lips wrap around the bud, sucking and circling his tongue over it while his other hand tweaks and pulls at the other. Like his tongue, his finger moves in time to turn you into a pile of mush. You grind onto nothing, wishing it was his thigh instead because you need friction from how wet and needy you’ve become in the span of like 20 minutes. 

Moaning out at the feeling of him slowly stimulating you, Jeongguk switches to the other one until your nipples are left shiny, wet, and puffy from his lips and tongue. 

He picks up fast, it seems. While kissing down your stomach, he asks you, “What do you want me to do?” Just like you did. 

“Anything,” you respond. You don’t care what he does, you just want him to do something. 

Jeongguk shakes his head. “Gotta give me a real answer,” he pulls up a little closer to your face, cupping your swollen bottom lip thanks to all of his work. “Tell me.”

“I,” you start. In all honesty, you wouldn’t mind anything from him. But you feel the length of his fingers, thick and perfect, and you remember your pressing desire of having them inside of you. “I want your fingers,” deciding on that. 

He grins softly at how cute you become when you’re overwhelmed. Jeongguk doesn’t wait around any longer, fingers going to the waistline of your yoga pants and tugging them down slowly. They’re tight, sticking to you like a second skin, so they snag along the meat of your thighs. Jeongguk doesn’t seem to mind as the fabric bunches up into a little ring and you kick it off to a random spot on your floor. 

Cold air meets your soaked underwear, making you cringe at the feeling, totally unaware of the way Jeongguk gapes at the flimsy little thing hugging your hips. He gently traces the band over your pelvis, almost like he’s hesitation. 

You open your mouth, ready to check in to see if Jeongguk still wants to do this for you or not, but before you can, his fingers dip into your panties to feel just how wet you are from him. 

His expression morphs beautifully. “You’re…” he’s speechless at first. Jeongguk’s finger trails up and down your center, barely grazing your sensitive clit. 

A whimper escapes you. His touch is feather light and barely enough yet so much all at once. 

“Fuck,” he groans, hiding his face into crook of your neck, soaking up all of your arousal while his ears and neck get bright red. You’d be embarrassed by the rushing gush coating you even more if Jeongguk’s thumb hadn’t stopped at your clit to draw tight, short, slow circles. 

Such a gentle pace, way less intense than the bullet vibrator you’ve been using, and the pressure builds gradually. One of your hands wind in his hair and the other grips his bicep, openly feeling him up. 

“Fucking soaked,” Jeongguk grits, moving his thumb a little faster. 

Your eyes shut. “Oh J–” interrupted by a shaky noise spilling from your mouth. Jeongguk takes that as a good sign, deciding to torture you even further by moving his lips back to your stiffened nipples and using his tongue to suck and lick at them as if you aren’t already sensitive. 

“You’re pretty too, noona,” Jeongguk says, looking at you this time. Slowly, your eyes peel open to find his big brown irises glimmering at you. “I think you’re beautiful. Always have.” 

You blush immediately. You don’t know why this feels so intensely intimate, like a pan that’s gotten too hot. Is it Jeongguk’s tone, the fact that he’s so close, the way he looks at you to make sure you know and understand him? What is it that has you so stupefied by such a simple comment? 

Boys have called you pretty before, called you much worse too, but you should be used to it. Over the years you’ve started to develop a thick skin but this one gets to you. 

That flutter of butterflies comes back, dancing from the tip of your toes all the way to your head. Jeongguk has seen you grow, from a kid to a pre-teen and now an adult. 

And he still finds you beautiful. Even after every embarrassing phase. 

You begin to smile, cupping his cheeks and leaning down to press a short kiss to his lips, then the corner of his lips, his cheek and his nose, because he deserves it and he’s cute. 

“Thanks,” you mean it, even if the sweet moment cut all of the flourishing beginnings of an orgasm from you and Jeongguk’s fingers halted, out of your underwear and holding your hip instead. 

Jeongguk mirrors your expression. Then he looks down at where his hand is and back up at you, nervously tonguing his cheek. “Can I move now?” 

You nod your head yes quickly after he asks. 

“And…” Jeongguk still looks awkward. You go back to cupping his soft cheeks. “Tell me if I’m doing okay?”

You want to melt in his grip. “Of course, Guk.” Thumb swiping over his cheekbone affectionately. 

Jeongguk takes that as the greenlight and slips his fingers back into your underwear. His gaze is on you, studying your features when his thumb goes back to your clit while his middle finger teases around your opening. You clench, desperate for something to slip inside of you, lifting your hips up in hope that Jeongguk would take the hint and put his fingers inside but he continues collecting your arousal to get his digits wet enough. 

“Jeongguk,” you call tightly, digging your nails into the meat of his shoulders. He hums in response. “I need more.” 

His thumb decides to go faster at your demand but not fast enough and his middle finger still traces your opening instead of slipping inside. 

“More?” He repeats, lilting his voice teasingly. 

Shithead. 

“Yes, more.”  You want to whine, kick your legs even. 

He can feel how wet you’ve gotten, does he not know how much you want this? 

“You want my fingers?” 

“Yes,” you grumble but it sweetens at the end because his thumb starts moving faster over your clit and you feel the waves of pleasure swirling in your stomach, turning into a half-moan. 

Jeongguk angles his hand a little differently and, gently, pushes his middle finger inside you. He groans at the feeling of you. “So tight,” breathing out against your skin. 

You react immediately, throwing your head back. There’s a slight pinch but it's not even the slightest bit painful. The intrusion is welcomed; although small, you need it. Jeongguk’s finger is nice and long and he pistons it out of you with so much care while hitting just the spot. 

“Fuck, right there,” you moan out, turning your face into the soft material of your sheets, eyes rolling back.

Jeongguk slips another finger in and he stops teasing your throbbing bundle of nerves to focus fully on moving his digits, curving them upwards to your walls as you release a symphony of noises. Finding that soft spongy part inside of you and massaging it. 

“F-faster please, please, go faster,” begging him out of the fear that he’ll tease you just like he was doing before. 

But Jeongguk plays fair and fingers you even faster, upping the ante even more by removing his free hand and pressing down on your lower stomach, right before your pelvis. 

And you lose it. 

The pressure from his hand on top, plus the way his fingers are moving, just becomes too much. The  gradual pressure starts accelerating and accelerating until it drops like a rollercoaster and you feel a burst of tingling pleasure rush through your veins and all over your body. 

“I’m cumming!” Crying out, tears pooling inside your eyes streaming down your cheeks as your legs shake with the crashing waves of your orgasm. 

Different than when you do it. As good as your vibrator is, something about it has yet to make you orgasm like this. Heavy, powerful, almost numbing. Waves crash inside you, again and again, cresting at the peak and slowly simmering out into a soft current and then nothing at all. 

Your breath comes out in heavy pants, limbs feeling like jelly, slowly opening your eyes to find Jeongguk staring back at you in bewilderment. His lips are parted but his cheeks aren’t red with embarrassment. If anything, he looks like the complete opposite of that. 

Like he could watch you do that again and again. Something you would gladly agree with. 

Jeongguk takes his fingers out from your underwear, glistening with your arousal, and before you can offer him a napkin, he slips his digits into his mouth and cleans them off. You really begin to question if this man is a virgin or secretly a sex god waiting to be discovered. He’s way better than you were when you were inexperienced. Does he watch a lot of porn?

Or do Taehyung and Jimin just talk about sex around him too much? Must be that. 

“Mmh,” his fingers come out with a soft pop noise, “You taste amazing.” Jeongguk’s clean hand brushes some hair out of your face as he smiles. You lean into his touch like a purring kitten, curling into his chest because your entire body feels weak. 

“You okay?” Jeongguk asks, closing his arms around you. 

Nodding into his chest, “Yeah. Felt really good.” You want to say more but there’s no energy for you to do so. 

“Did it? You looked really hot when,” trailing off, you know what he means, and you press a kiss to his chest. “Kinda want to see it again.” 

That takes your attention. 

Removing the fact that you haven’t been touched in a bit, two orgasms from Jeongguk might put your legs out of commission and that was just with his fingers. You can’t imagine what it would be like with more of him, especially as he learns more about how to pleasure you and gets better. Your poor vibrator might be out of a job. 

“I would love to, but you definitely wore me out.” Pulling your face away, you look up at his perfectly crafted face. “Can we try that another time?” 

Another time, you get giddy even before he agrees. After getting addicted to Jeongguk’s touch, you don’t want to entertain the idea of this being a one time thing. 

“Of course.” And neither does he. 

Jeongguk kisses the top of your head gently, rubbing soothing circles on your back. You tangle your legs with his, inhaling his scent and doing your best not to fall asleep. 

It feels sticky and wet between your legs. You should change and you should get ready for bed. Jeongguk probably wants to go back to his house, right? He probably doesn’t want to stick around your place after what just happened. 

But you think about it and that’s the farthest thing you want. 

Being in his arms, you feel safe and protected, like you drifted off to another dimension where nothing bad has ever happened and you were still the girl you were when you left Busan. Happy and lively. 

You don’t want him to leave you. You don’t want this to be another shitty hookup or one-time thing that makes both of you blush and walk-away. You just want Jeongguk to be in your life. 

So you hold on tight, avoiding his eyes when you ask: “Do you want to stay here with me tonight?”

Please, please, you beg internally. You’ll make breakfast, there’s a pack of toothbrushes under your sink, anything. Just stay. 

And thankfully, Jeongguk responds without wasting another second of your time, putting you at ease once again.  

“Please.”

a/n: okay yes, that was a lot but more smut will come and more angst will follow!

taglist:

@iwuzhere

[eclairfromleclerc]

Hello people! It’s been a while since my last chapter but the writer’s block was humongous and I kept pushing myself to write the next chapter. It is another long one, almost 25K words. Please excuse me for my long ass absence and stay with me for the rest of the story! I hope you’ll enjoy the newest part and I can’t wait to see your opinion and comments on it. Take care. Until the next one <3 xx

All’s Fair

(Toto Wolff x Reader!Horner) Chapter 9

chapter 1 chapter 2 chapter 3 chapter 4 chapter 5 chapter 6 chapter 7 chapter 8

Monaco has the best sunny days in the whole world. You’ve loved going out under the Mediterranean sun every time your family visited Monaco when you were young. Now laying on the couch that you’ve spent almost all of your summers on, you see the light entering the apartment. Music plays in the background as your friend Sara is making coffee in the kitchen and you are laying in her living room as you’ve always done. 

After the victory celebrations on Sunday you left the track and flew straight back to Nice. Your childhood friend Sara picked you up and you’ve been staying in her family’s house in Monaco for the past 2 days. Those days passed by with your usual activities. Having coffee in the casino square, going out clubbing, cooking, gossiping and in general doing girly things. As soon as you arrived in Monaco you visited the apartment that Sara proposed and booked it right away as you had already asked for your belongings to be moved to Monte Carlo. The only thing left for you to do is to move all of those things to the apartment. The thing about being in Monaco is that now you are able to show the world where you are. During the past weekend there was just speculation about where you actually were. You had managed to place yourself in Monaco with some instagram posts but no one knew (well except for Toto and Lewis) that you still were in Jeddah.

“Sweetheart coffee is ready.” Sara yells from the kitchen 

“Bitch I don’t drink coffee” you answer “You haven’t seen me in a month and you already forgot?” 

“Shut up, I made you your Earl Grey just how you like to drink it” she says and you’ve already made your way to the kitchen 

“Thank you idiot” you tell her

“You’re welcome, your majesty,” she says, mocking you for your tea preferences. You sit down opposite to her and start drinking your tea. “So” she interrupts the silence “Do you remember Marc?” she asks 

“Marc who?” you ask

“Marc Taylor.”

“S, are you serious? Are you asking me if I remember the guy I had a crush on for ages?” you ask her

“Well you’ve met a lot of people since you started working in F1 and I genuinely thought you forgot him” she says “Anyways, he saw the story I reposted from yesterday night  at Jimmy’z and replied to it. He asked me if we wanted to join him today.” 

“Join him where?” you ask intrigued

“He will be having a brunch party at his yacht.” she says trying to hype it up 

“Ugh, I’m not sure I want to see so many people.” you say 

“Come on Horner, it’s going to be so great. We haven’t had a brunch party at a yacht in ages, the last time we did was when you graduated.” she pauses “Plus he told me not to hype it up, the only people there will be his friend group.” 

“Marc’s friend group is 15 people. I am only willing to see 5.” 

“Why are you acting like a 65 year old with depression, come onnn.”

“Because my job drains me to the point that I just want to stay at home with a cup of tea and read a good book. I am with people every day and during the weekend I am chased by cameras and fans.” you tell her as she looks at you mockingly “I know, I know. I chose this life and to be frank I love the whole fame,chase and clout that comes with it. But during my non-race weekends, I need to have a detox.”

“You had your whole week off, enough paddock detox, enough people detox. What were you doing in Jeddah? Meditating, visiting the four seasons’ spa, drinking coffee, eating expensive meals. That’s enough, now we get to party.” 

Little does she know that you weren’t actually meditating, not visiting spas, not even staying at a four seasons’ but at a Ritz. You take a look at your best friend as she puts on her puppy eyes. 

“Pretty please.” she says and she crosses her hands as if she’s begging “Do it for me Horner, it’s going to be fun. It’s part of your new life after all. People here in Monaco have brunch yacht parties really often, so you better get your ass ready. We are going.” she says.

You shrug in response, but actually get up from the chair and go to the guest room where all of your belongings currently are. You open your suitcase and take out the sundress you wore the day you and Toto went for coffee together and match it with a pair of Hermes sandals. The weather is now sunny in Monaco and you actually love how it is a great mix of sun, breeze and heat. You put on some makeup and style your hair as loosely as you can, you’re going to be in the sea after all. Later both you and Sara leave the house and go to the location that Marc dropped a pin on. You can hear people talking from the other side of the yacht, the one that faces the Mediterranean. You quickly jump on the platform on the back of the yacht and walk up to the place where everyone’s sitting. 

“Hello everyone.” you say and you see Marc standing up approaching you. Sara is just behind and she waves everyone but doesn’t get any closer to you. Marc comes to your side and hugs you. 

“Miss Horner.” he says in awe “It’s been a long long time hasn’t it?” he asks 

“It has. Thank you for the invitation.” you say “We brought a little something.” you say and you hand him the bottle of Dom that you’ve been holding. 

“It’s really no big deal, I wanted to see you and Sara so I just texted. Thanks for the Champagne.” 

By the time both of you stop interacting, Sara is already sitting on the table and speaking to everyone. You take a seat, far from her in the only two empty chairs and Marc emerges shortly after to take the seat next to you. Without asking he starts filling your plate. 

“You should definitely try the Croque Madame, it’s a miracle.” he says and you smile at him 

“I will, thanks.” you reply as you register his existence next to you. He’s the most charming guy you’ve met, well less than Toto but to be frank, you can see why you were heads over heels with him. At that moment you decide to snap a photo and text Toto.

You 

[Photo]

Much earned gift for my last week’s performance

Wolff

You better recharge, I want you on your A level in Baku. 

[Photo] 

The weather here is freaking awful, I miss Monaco. 

You 

Wait, you actually know how to send pictures? Monaco is amazing today. You should have been here.

Wolff

Replying: Remember who gives you access to the paddock. 

If I were there you wouldn’t be in that yacht right now.

You 

Toto behave, you’re at work. 

Wolff

I’m at a business meeting and I hate those so why not distract myself with some other thought. 

You 

Because I’m so hot you’re going to embarrass yourself. Gotta go now, I've got a whole yacht waiting for me

Wolff

I don't blame them. Have fun, just not too much ;)

You laugh at Toto’s texts as Marc watches you at the same time 

"Are you bored of us" he asks

"No, I just have to text someone" you reply 

"Red Bull keeps getting you busy I see?" he asks 

"Actually, I am not in Red Bull for the time being, I am just enjoying myself  and I am actually moving here next week" 

"Great decision to be honest. Monaco could use a distraction." He says 

"So I've been told" you tell him

"By whom?" he asks and you realize you cannot possibly talk about Toto with him 

"Just a good friend" you laugh 

“ah one of those best friends, I get it" he says and you nod not showing any emotion at all over what it meant

“Are you enjoying yourself in F1?” he asks trying to start conversation with you

“I am. It is a space I’ve grown up in and I already knew everyone as well as everyone knew me. There’s nothing different as to what I’ve lived up to now except for the fact that I have a little bit more screen time than I used to have 5 years ago.” 

“Well 5 years ago I used to see you almost every week and now I have to watch F1 to see you.” he says

“You watch F1 now?” 

“I always watched F1.” he says 

“I’m pretty sure you’ve only watched the Monaco Grand Prix.” 

“Until this year.” he replies “Plus I have a really good reason.” 

“What’s the reason? Max’s racecraft?” 

“Nah, you are” he says and you freeze temporarily

“I’m flattered.” 

“I meant it as a compliment so you should be.” he tells you and he looks at you with a flirty look and you turn to look at Sara who is already too invested in her conversation with Marc’s friend, Tristan. 

The rest of the brunch party goes on in a pretty similar way. Marc keeps flirting with you and Sara is way too busy to come to your rescue. At some point the yacht leaves Monaco and sails in the Mediterranean for two or three hours while all of you party on the deck. Now the sun is setting down the horizon and you return back to the harbor of Monaco and the party has already winded down so you find yourself sitting on a chair sipping your last glass of champagne. Sara is nowhere to be seen, probably too busy making out with Tristan on the inside of Marc’s yacht since they’ve been missing for the last 45 minutes or so. The chair opposite to you is empty but not for long. As soon as Marc spots you he leaves his friends and comes to your company. 

“Did you enjoy the party?” he asks

“It’s been a while since I partied like this but I loved it. Now relaxing with a glass of champagne is the must thing to do.” 

“There’s plenty of space inside if you want to lay down for a while.” he tells you

“I think the space might be occupied by our friends and as close as I am with Sara today isn’t the day that I want to listen to her having sex with your best friend.” you laugh

“The yacht has 6 cabins. I very much doubt all 6 of them are taken.”

“6 cabins huh? The Taylors really have given it some thought before spending money on this yacht.”

“Yeah, my mom insisted. But hey, that’s why we’re working our asses off every day. To spend on things like this.” 

“So you are working?” you ask him

“Yeah, I’ve taken over some of my dad’s companies and I’ve been living between Monaco and Switzerland for a while.” 

“And how is it?” 

“You know how it is. We’ve learnt to live in this world. I love the job but really that’s all I focus on. Thank god all these fuckers are around and remind me that I need to have a work life balance.”

“Oh my god. Marc Taylor is a workaholic?” you say surprised “You need people to remind you to live for a while instead of working?” 

“My mom is so afraid that I won’t even have a wife that she’s trying to get me to meet eligible bachelorettes.”

“Lisa is actually doing this?” you ask shocked

“Lisa has been asking me to ask you on a date for months” he tells you and you laugh hysterically.

“Well tell Lisa that I am twice the workaholic that you are. I am not working and living, I am living my life at work. I am constantly working.”

“How does it feel?”

“It does get a little lonely at times. But as you’ve said I’ve learnt to live like this ever since I was a baby. Sometimes I just wish I had someone to support me.” you tell him and what he does next surprises you. 

He leans closer and puts a hand on your cheek and kisses you. You don’t react. Partly because you were caught completely off guard and partly because your 19 year old self would die for this kiss but the only thing in your head that played over and over again is “You can’t do this to Toto” .  He pulls away from the kiss and you smile but he’s looking for something more and you know it. 

“Marc,  look I am so flattered that you actually like me. My 19 year old self would be dead right now. But as much as I used to like you then, I cannot do it now.”

“You’re not into it huh?” he asks partly heartbroken partly surprised

“It’s not that. It’s that there’s someone else in my life right now and the things with me and him aren’t that simple so I wouldn’t want to further complicate it.”

“I understand.” he says “Although Lisa would be thrilled to have you as her daughter in law, I have to destroy her dreams.” he laughs

“I am so sad. Tell her I love her regardless and if I end up alone you’ll be the first one I will flirt with.” 

“Bold way to tell me I am the second option.” 

“Oh god no that’s not how I meant it. It’s just that you never know how life will play out. We might end up married managing the Taylor Group and Red Bull Racing, but we might just end up as two workaholic friends who push each other out of their working space.”

“That’s true.” he says 

For the next 10 minutes you discuss and when the yacht finally arrives at the harbor you leave the yacht before thanking everyone. You and Sara walk back home and she keeps talking about her and Tristan during the whole way to her house. You keep quiet about the whole thing with Marc and let her vent about what happened for the rest of the day. Late at night just when you’re ready to go to sleep, her in her bed and you on an inflatable mattress Sara is still talking about Tristan. 

“He actually texted me like 5 minutes ago, I can’t believe it.” she says “We are plann-” 

“Marc kissed me.” you say interrupting her mid sentence

“WHAT?” she screams and jumps on her bed

“Yeah, you were too busy screwing Tristan on those cabins but when we arrived at the harbor, he sat down next to me and kissed me.”

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” she asks completely shocked

“Because you were venting about Tristan and I knew you would react this way.” you answer

“Well why aren’t you reacting in this way? You’ve had a crush on him since forever.”  she asks

“Had. Past tense.” 

“Well, do you have someone better than Marc to hook up with? His father is a freaking billionaire and he’s about to inherit all this. He’s handsome and kind and he’s everything you’ve ever dreamed of.” 

“Yeah, now he’s not the one I am dreaming of. Plus, believe it or not, it’s not always about the money.”

“Are you out of your mind? Who is possibly a better option than Marc for you right now? Well, to be frank Charles Leclerc is. You’re not sleeping with Charles Leclerc are you?” she asks and you laugh 

“If you actually knew who the guy who is the better option you’d definitely think I’m out of my mind. And no, I am not sleeping with Charles Leclerc, sadly.” you tell her

“If you don’t spill, I will kick you out.” 

“I most definitely cannot tell you.” 

“Come on, we’ve known each other since we were in the womb, your family is my family, what tells you that I could possibly say anything to anyone?” 

“Okay, I will tell you, just because you actually are my best friend. But don’t you dare say anything to anyone or I will be destroyed. Oh, tell me your wildest prediction.”

“Just so that I have a clear target group, he is from F1 right?” she asks and you nod “Omg, is it Max? Because if it is Max it will be the most iconic friends to lovers boo-” she starts ranting and you interrupt to shock her once again

“It’s Toto Wolff” 

“WHO?” she looks at you like you are a lunatic. 

“It’s freaking Toto Wolff, Team Principal of Mercedes AMG Petronas F1” you tell her and she looks absolutely shocked

“You are definitely out of your freaking mind. Since when are you into older guys and how the hell did that happen?”

“I always thought he was attractive but was blindsided by Christian’s hate for him. But long story short, I got drunk once and we hooked up and it’s only been going downhill from there. I’ll have to explain it to you when I get to my new apartment.”

“I am absolutely shocked.” she says “Is he at least treating you right?” she asks

“We are just hanging out but he’s been decent I’d say.” 

“Now that I am thinking about it,  he kind of is the better option.” she says and she visibly loses herself in thought 

“Just so you know, the only people who know about all this are you and Lewis.” 

“I have a common secret with Lewis Hamilton?” she asks, showing her clear preference for him. 

Your answer is to just laugh and then say goodnight to her. 

The next day you are being woken up by the light entering the room from the window that you forgot to close. It’s the day that you will finally move to your new apartment in Monaco. You grab your phone first thing and you see millions of notifications, more than usual. Your first thought? Something bad happened. And indeed something had happened, not exactly bad, but the headlines from the news, tweets and tags are somewhere in between the tone of

“Red Bull Racing’s newest management addition shows her love with a billionaire’s son in Monaco.”

The first article wrote: Miss Horner and Mr. Marc Taylor were spotted getting cozy at the latter’s yacht party in Monaco harbor yesterday. The pair shared a kiss and they seemed to exchange some fond words. We are excited about this new romance blooming in the streets and seas of Monaco. Are we going to see the Taylor Group entering F1 alongside Miss Horner’s Red Bull Racing? It’s only a matter of time to see.  

“Shit, shit, shit” you keep saying and Sara who has only woken up looks at you like you’re crazy

“What?” she asks

“It’s all over the freaking internet.” 

“You and Wolff?” she asks nervously

“No, god, it’s me and Marc” 

“Wait, how did that happen?”

“Someone must have snapped a picture of us while we were kissing when the yacht was in the harbor. God this is a disaster.” 

“Why is it a disaster?” she asks. Well sometimes you really doubt about her having a brain

“If Toto sees this he’s going to be feral.” you say “Oh god, I should text him right now to let him know that the whole thing is a lie.”  You open the iMessage app

Wolff 

[Photo] 

Flying to Nice from the UK, I’ll be in Monaco for the rest of the week. 

You check the time that this was sent. Yesterday afternoon. You were probably at the party then and you accidentally deleted the notification so you didn’t see the message afterwards but now you decide to reply. 

You

I hope that you have arrived in Monaco safely. I am sure I will see you somewhere here before we get the chance to meet all alone. Sorry I didn’t reply earlier but I must have accidentally deleted the notification while I was at that yacht party yesterday. Speaking of which, I need to talk to you about the whole thing going around on the internet. 

You see that your messages are being instantly read but you get no reply. 

“The moving truck will be arriving at the apartment in 20 minutes, we must get going. Come on, get ready.” Sara says

“S, Toto is leaving me on read, do you think he’s mad at me?”

“No, he’s probably too busy in those company meetings back at Brackley.” she tries to reassure you 

“Toto flew to Monaco yesterday afternoon, he’s not at Brackley.” you tell her

“Well, he’s still working from Monaco so he might reply to  you later. Girl, we really don’t have time for this. It’s moving dayyy.” she says trying to hype you up. “Up, up, up” she says trying to grab you “The moving guys will be at the apartment and you will be lying here all day? Let’s get ready to move in. You’ll worry about Wolff later. And at the end you told me that you’re just hanging out, it's not anything serious so you’re free to do whatever you want. And if he’s sure that you want him he won’t even believe those things.” 

You stand up before replying and put on a pair of sweats and a Red Bull t-shirt to be comfortable while moving in. “I know that we’re just hanging out at the moment. It’s just that the things are confusing as it is now, I don’t want Marc Taylor confusing them more than that.” 

“He won’t. But you’ll have to worry about it from your new bedroom so, shoes on, grab your bag and let’s go to the apartment. 

You do as she says and 20 minutes later you are outside your newest home getting the keys from the owner while the guys are removing boxes and furniture from the truck. 

“Well, you are here.” Sara says. “I have to confess it looks really pretty and modern.”

“Sara, it’s just the outside of the building.” 

“But still it’s pretty. The actual apartment is prettier though” she says and she instructs all of the boxes with your belongings and furniture to be moved to the 6th floor. For the first time in your life you will be living at the top of a building. You and Sara take the elevator to the apartment. You unlock the door while the guys are waiting for you and you enter using your right foot first.

 “It’s for good luck.” you say to Sara and she smiles doing the same 

For the next 5 hours you and Sara assemble your furniture and unpack the boxes with all of your stuff. You show her your ideas on how to put everything into place as you’ve imagined it and as you’ve seen it on your pinterest moodboards. At some point both of you try to settle the bed in your master bedroom. A new queen sized bed that you bought after seeing how big the room is. The one side of the loft is covered in full length glass windows that have a great view to the mediterranean with a huge balcony just in front of them that you will probably enjoy your morning tea in, during the non race weeks. The light enters every room, giving them a great coziness and openness. While you two are trying to move the bed just in the right place you remember that now you happen to have neighbors. 

“Shit S, are we making too much noise?” you ask

“Well, if you know another way that we can move this monster bed and not make a sound, let me know.”

“What if the neighbors are annoyed?”

“They can fuck themselves, it’s not even quiet hours yet.” she says and you help her do the job.

After the bed gets in the right place you lay there for a second

“Horner, come on, what are you doing?” 

“I am too overwhelmed by this, we’ve been working for 5 hours nonstop and this thing isn’t anywhere close to a living apartment.” you tell her

“Oh and wait till I leave you to go to the gym.” she says

“Come on Sara, you are working out here can’t you just skip the gym today and help me a little with those boxes?” 

“I’ve been doing it for the past 5 hours if that says something to you. I will be leaving in half an hour though. And don’t worry. You can take it one step at a time and after some time you will manage to unpack your whole stuff.” she says smiling

“I hate you.” you tell her and you go back to work. 

You set your new office in the living room,  just in front of the large window so that you get enough light and inspiration from the views outside. You also set the couch and the coffee table in front, as well as your new TV. Half an hour later Sara leaves indeed for the gym, leaving you all alone for the first time in your newest apartment. That’s when it hits you and you grab your phone. The messages you sent to Toto, still unanswered and it’s been a long time since he’s read them. You decide to give him a call. You press his phone number and wait for him to pick up. You hear one, then two, then three rings and then it goes straight to voicemail. You hear his voice that you haven’t heard since Sunday. The phone rang but it went to voicemail which means that he’s declining your call. You try once again, the same thing. You get it, he’s probably angry with the whole thing but if he doesn’t want to talk to you nor do you. Instead of overthinking it you throw yourself back at moving. You blast some Taylor Swift on the speakers that you connected first thing as you entered the loft, and drop a huge box of books in front of you which you put on the built-in shelves in the living room. You use your ladder to fill the upper shelves that you cannot reach by yourself. You keep dancing, moving things, chairs, couches and tables. At some point you hear the door knocking. You turn the music off and run to the door. 

“Who is it?” you ask and you hear a voice from the outside of the door

“I live downstairs and I wanted to let you know that it’s quiet time now, you are annoying us with all that music and moving things.” the voice says. You feel very embarrassed about what you did and the last thing you want is to piss your neighbor off so you decide to open the door and apologize. But when you do you freeze. 

“Toto?” you say and he looks at you, his eyes wide as if he just saw something unbelievable 

“What are you doing here ?” he asks

“This is my new apartment in Monaco, I was just moving in.”

“You’re joking.” he says

“Do you actually live downstairs?” you ask thrilled

“I do yeah, I live on the fifth floor loft.” he says 

“How was England?” you ask and he looks at you. 

“Fine.” he replies, obviously bothered.

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you, I texted you this morning but you didn’t reply.” you say “I also tried calling but it went to voicemail.”

“Talk to me about what?” he asks acting like he doesn’t know

“About Marc Taylor. Toto, I know you’ve seen it, it’s all over the internet.” 

“I mean what would you possibly have to say about Marc Taylor? It’s a shared secret that you’ve been wanting him since high school, everyone in Monaco knows it. You must be over the moon though. Handsome, rich, young and charming. Everything you’re looking for.” 

“You have to believe me Toto.” 

“Believe you about what? You clearly wanted the guy since forever so why not give in?”

“You fucking know that the whole thing is fake.”

“There are pictures,” he says, keeping calm. 

“You know how it fucking is Toto, those reporters only take whatever they think will make people engage more with their stories. They only caught the kiss but after that I told him that there is someone else in my life.”

“I wouldn’t know. I am not the one going around boat parties in Monaco and kissing strangers.”

“Just admit you are jealous.” you say

“Now you know what? I find it really pretentious that you get to be angry with the whole Cynthia thing and I am suddenly overreacting to seeing you kiss other guys.”

“It is not the same.” 

“No, it is exactly the same and your position is way worse than mine because me and Cynthia haven’t seen each other since this thing started.” he says

“Well, it’s not like this “thing” is something exclusive so I can see and kiss whomever I want.” you say 

Toto turns and looks at you and this is the first time you see a kind of hurt in his eyes

“Do you ever shut up Horner?” he asks

“I’ve told you before, only if I am made.” you say and look at him 

Hearing these words probably makes a bell in Toto’s head ring because the next thing he does is to grab you by both hands and pin you against the wall like he did the first time he kissed you. He looks down at you as you look up at him and he leans in to kiss you but you push him just a little and grab his hand. You put it against your neck and once he gets the memo he applies a little pressure that makes you go crazy. He kisses you slowly and you kiss him back in enjoyment. A few seconds later he grabs you and runs into the hallway searching for your bedroom. Once he finds the bedroom with the queen size bed he rushes and pushes you to the bed. You lie on your back looking at him. The power that this man holds, you think. You slowly begin to undress him, freeing him of his gray sweatpants and leaving him only with his boxers on seeing him growing hard as he looks at you. 

“Is the bed new?” he asks and you nod

“What a way to use it for the first time huh?” you say and he laughs 

“Let me tell you something Horner, I don’t want you anywhere near me with a red bull shirt ever again” he says and he strips you off of the red bull shirt “It’s the biggest turn off.” 

“I can see it” you tease him. At first he seems pissed off but then he takes your sweats off and then he does the same with his T-Shirt. 

“Enough talking” he says and he leans in for a kiss which you deepen immediately. He leans in on you and you push him towards you from his neck as he stabilizes himself by putting one of his knees between your thighs. You feel the intrusive thought in your brain and you grind yourself on his knee

“Much needy I see ?" he asks and you do nothing but look at him 

“Can’t resist mister Wolff” you say 

“As you should miss Horner.” he replies and his hand moves to your chest while he starts kissing you on your neck. You feel him leaving hot trails of kisses on you as his hand cups your breast. Well he certainly has a way of doing things. His kisses leave you wanting more, needing more so to make yourself feel good you move your hips against him once again and you can feel him laugh against your skin as he moves his hand against your panties 

“So wet already” he whispers to your ear sending shivers down your spine “Does he also do that to you?” he asks clearly, talking about Marc. You shake your head as the words were kind of hard to come off your mouth 

“Use your words baby” he says 

“No, he does not” you say while your breathing is getting heavier

“Is he better?” he asks and you shake your head once again. 

“Toto please, I need you.” you say and he obeys to your plea.

He removes his briefs and pushes your panties to the side as he enters inside you. It feels good. Better than it had in Jeddah. You gasp at the move and you dig your nails on his back as he kisses you. He suddenly grabs your hands and removes them from his back while thrusting in and out in a slow but great way. 

“No touching today.” he says and holds your hands over your head with his strong grip. He keeps moving as you let small moans escape and you feel like you’re in another word. You want to touch him as well and right the time that he loosens his grip on you you try to move your hands but his grip gets stronger and smashes your hands back to the place they first were. You complain for a while but he makes you feel so good that this is the last thing you care about. 

“You’re so good love. Always feeling so good.” the pauses between his words are getting bigger, showing that he’s feeling as good as he does. “Good god.” he says once again and you laugh at him. He keeps going strong though, changing the tempo of his thrusts, hitting and touching all the correct places. You feel getting closer and closer to your climax but instead of laying calm you start leaving kisses on his chest. 

“You make me feel so good.” you say “Fuck Toto, you’re so good. God no you’re perfect.” 

“Are you close?” he asks 

“Yeah” you say and you gasp “You?”

“Very” he says in between his grunts. Some minutes later you come first and he follows you shortly after while repeating your name.

Right after that both of you lay naked on your new bed. Toto is caressing your hair as you are laying on his chest listening to his heartbeat. He breaks the silence first 

“Are we good?” he asks

“I am good” you reply

“I am talking about our fight.” he says

“Oh I thought that it was established when you were repeating my name while having sex with me.” 

 “You’re right.” he says and stares outside the window while the sun is setting. Both of you sit in silence for a minute or two until you break it

“He’s not better.” you say 

“Huh?” 

“Marc Taylor. He’s not better than you. It was nothing but a kiss, Toto.” you tell him “And yes, he might be a European billionaire’s son and he might as well be hot and charming but you are also all those things, which surprise, happen to be everything I seem to look for in a man. But I need you to know Toto, in my eyes you are more charming and hotter than him. I would give Marc Taylor up for you but I wouldn’t give up you for Marc Taylor.” you tell him and you look up at him while he’s staring at you, clearly paying attention to what you were telling him. 

“Thank you.” he says 

You keep laying there and by the time the sun sets you are already asleep. You wake up an hour later and you see Toto is also taking a nap. You nudge him and he wakes up. 

“What is it ?” he says being somewhere between asleep and awake

“Nothing, we just fell asleep here.” you say

“You’ve got a nice bed. Good choice.” he says

“I know but I have to get up to finish the rest of the apartment.”

“No one is helping you?” he asks

“Sara was here until she abandoned me to go to her gym session. Now I have to do this all by myself.” 

“You know you don’t have to do all of it today right? You are going to be exhausted. Plus I can also help you with unpacking.” 

“No, you probably have work to do. I’ll do them by myself and tomorrow Sara will be here to help me” 

“Who is Sara?”

“My best friend. She’s the one that found this apartment for me” you tell him

“So she’s the one that I have to thank?” he asks and you nod while laughing. 

“You will meet her as soon as I get back to Red Bull.” 

“Which is going to be when?” he asks

“I know you want to get rid of me but I don’t have any information yet. Beth usually sends me my schedule the week before each grand prix and judging by the fact that she didn’t send it until now, I think this won’t be the weekend you are looking forward to.” 

“Maybe you should start packing your things for Baku.” he says

“I don’t have anything to do there.”

“Come on, I told people Mindy Rosevelt will hang with us for a while longer.” 

“Second race at Mercedes?” you ask excitedly

“The Ritz in Baku has already been informed that we would like an extra suite.” 

“Toto, a suite? Again?” 

“You always need a suite, love.” 

“Do you have plans for Baku?” you ask

“How about we go to the paddock together, you sleep in my suite and you help us during the race?”

“So you only want me to be there to tell you about Red Bull’s strategies so you can win?” you say playing offended

“I only want you to be there because you make it easier for me to focus when you are next to me rather than in the garage next to ours. And because I want you in general.” he says

“That’s a good excuse.” you tell him 

“After all, even if it was only for the strategy part, you should remember that all’s fair in war.” 

“And love.” you say 

“That also” he replies 

“When are we leaving?” 

“Wednesday night, with my jet from Nice airport.” 

“Good.” you say

“Put some clothes on, we are going to unpack the rest of the boxes.” he says 

“Yes sir.” you say

“Sir huh? Remind me of that the next time I am laying in bed with you” he tells you and you laugh as you stand up to put some clothes on.  For the rest of the evening you and Toto unpack the boxes that you and Sara left. Both of you laugh as he makes fun of your music taste. He even dared to make fun of  Taylor Swift, which you did not take lightly but still forgave him when he danced with you in the living room of your new apartment and when you both watched the harbor from the balcony. It is almost midnight when he decides he has to go. 

“Why do you have to go now?” you ask

“The apartment is almost ready, Sara can help you set up the last box and I have to work tomorrow, unlike you.” 

“You are literally working from home and your home is downstairs, why can’t you stay for the night and leave tomorrow night?” you complain

“Because this is your apartment, your space. You have to spend the night alone to get used to the feeling.”

“I’ve lived alone before, I know how it is.”

“Yes but now it’s different, you'll see.”

“Can’t it be different with you here?” 

“It can, but I am positive you will be better off alone for this night.” he says “We won’t be lost after all, I will be downstairs, you can call me any time.” 

“Okay” you tell him “Can I kiss you goodnight?” you ask

“What happened to you? You are too expressive!” he says

“I know, you are not used to it.” 

“No, I am used to you being expressive, just not very emotional.” 

“Changed state of mind” you say 

“I like it.” he says “And to answer your question” he leans in and kisses you deeply “I was going to do it anyways.” 

You smile at the gesture “Goodnight Toto.” you say 

“Goodnight love.” he replies and he leaves. 

You close the door and walk straight to bed where you immediately fall asleep. 

The next day you text Sara and she drops by for a morning coffee in your new balcony. As soon as she enters the loft she looks around. 

“Wow Horner, did you get any sleep?” she asks

“I actually did.” 

“How did you unpack all of those boxes by yourself?” 

“I didn’t do it by myself” you tell her 

“Omg, who did you invite?” 

“No one, a neighbor helped me.” 

“Oh, you’ve already met your neighbors? That’s crazy. Are any of them hot?”

“Yeah I met one of them because he wanted to complain about the noise. And yeah, he was hot. In fact for me he is one of the hottest.” 

“What happened to Miss Toto Wolff is the hottest man on earth? Did she disappear?” 

“No she didn’t, because actually Toto Wolff IS the freaking neighbor.” 

“What the hell?” she asks “Girl I need coffee and Monte Carlo air STAT.”

You make her coffee and your tea and go to the balcony where you sit on a big white table. 

“Turns out Wolff is my freaking neighbor. He’s living downstairs and he heard the noise during quiet hours so he decided to give me a notice.” 

“But when he saw you he forgot what he noticed” she says

“No actually he did make the notice and then we pretty much fought for Marc, ended up having sex, had a nap and then unpacked all of my boxes. We danced together in the living room and then he left because he had to work today.” 

“You used the bed for the first time to have make up sex with Wolff?” she asks

“I pretty much did yeah” you tell her

“You are crazier than I thought you were.” she says 

“I am crazier than I thought I were” you say 

You tell her everything that happened yesterday night as both of you drink your beverages watching the view from your balcony. Later on Sara helps you unpack the last box and your apartment is finally set.  The next few days you pass your time by hanging out with Sara and your other best friends who happen to be in Monaco. Toto drops by some days and you two hang out for some hours until one day you finally ask him for a Mercedes project to work on so you can spend your time by being more productive. Days pass and it’s finally Wednesday morning when you are actually packing your clothes for Baku. You take mostly summer clothes even though you won’t be able to wear any of the to the paddock. You also take your extra Mercedes shirts and pants as well as Toto’s Mercedes shirt. You make sure everything is there. After that you call Sara to drop by so that you can say goodbye to her and spend the rest of the day alone at the apartment until Toto knocks the door to let you know that your driver has arrived and is ready to take you to Nice to finally fly to Baku.  A car ride and a flight later you and Toto land in Azerbaijan. Both of you wait in the jet until the car is ready to take you from the plane to the hotel. At that time the cockpit door opens and you take a look inside. The pilot who goes out of the cockpit is not Mike. You raise your eyebrow at this and you look at the door more intensely for Toto to notice.

“What are you looking at?” he asks looking up from his phone

“Our pilot.” you say 

“What about him, are you not satisfied?” he asks

“No, I am. But the question is, where is Mike?”

“He’s on leave, why?” 

“Just wondering”

“Why would you care about him?”

“Because I like him” 

“Noted” he says and turns back to his phone without speaking

“Are you jealous Wolff?” you ask

“No” 

“Are you sure?”

“End of discussion” he says and you laugh

“Okay sir.” you tell him 

After that the crew opens the door and you get off the plane. You already made sure that you have your mask on you so people won’t recognize you. Back to the same old ways. You take a ride to the hotel and you walk straight to your suite in which some other Mercedes employee checked you in before you arrived. Toto goes back to his own suite even though he asked you to hang out with him instead. You settle down in your suite and check Toto's schedule for the weekend

13:30-14:00: Press conference

14:10-14:50: F1 Team Principal Meeting

14:50-16:00: Coffee Break

16:00-17:00: Team Meeting

18:00-20:00: Business meeting

20:30: Dinner  

You open your phone and text Toto

You

I’ve been taking a look at your schedule, is everything to your agreement?

 Wolff

Yes, all is checked and approved 

You

Good to know. By what I'm seeing, it’s going to be a full day. I mean press, team meetings and business meetings

Wolff

Oh is it actually on my schedule?

You

The business meeting? Yeah it’s tabbed in from 18:00 to 20:00. Should I remove it, is it wrong?

Wolff

No, let them believe that I’m busy during that time.I have already planned something. It’s not a business meeting, it is supposed to be a meeting for us two but I told Brad that I will be busy so I guess he thought it was business related

You 

Oh, so I am busy  from 18:00 to 20:00 too? What are we going to do ?

Wolff

 I would let you be curious but we are supposed to go to a boat trip in the Caspian. I’ve chartered a boat for a couple of hours and then we will be having dinner too, so please do not wear high heels.

You 

Oh I love boat trips so no high heels 

It’s not like I could put heels on though, I will be dressed in the Merc gear all day long

Wolff

Well pack another outfit but still no high heels

You 

Okay then.  I guess I’ll see you later?

Wolff

Tomorrow

You switch your phone off and fall asleep for a few hours. It’s already early in the morning since you left Nice at night and the flight lasted a long time but thank god you didn’t have to be at the paddock until noon. You wake up at 11 and order some breakfast. You get ready and phone Toto to let him know you are ready. 10 minutes later you are on your way there in his black AMG SUV and you see the fans taking photos of the car. Well it’s Toto they’re taking pictures of since they have no idea about who you actually are. You get out of the car and go to Merc’s hospitality. You wave Toto goodbye and you go to your office while he’s off to his. Later on you hear a knock at your door. 

“Who is this?” you ask

“Mindy, it’s Lewis.” you hear a voice 

You stand up and put your mask on before opening the door. Better safe than sorry. When you open the door you see that it’s indeed Lewis so you welcome him in. You take off your mask and sit on the little couch

“How is it going?” he asks

“Everything’s good, thank you. How are you?” 

“Good. You know how it is. Just running around, trying to keep up with everything.”

“Lewis Hamilton trying to keep up? I am pretty sure everyone is trying to keep up with you, not you with them.”

“Well yeah, when it comes to F1 it’s pretty much how you say it is. But in real life I have so many things to keep up with.” 

“I bet you do. Like I am pretty sure you are flying to New York as soon as the race ends.”

“I am. Met Gala.” he says and you laugh

“So you won’t be here for post race celebrations if you win. I guess I should hand the win to George this time, or maybe let Red Bull win.” 

“Don’t you dare” 

“I won’t Lew, you know you’re my fav. But if you want to secure the win, I need to get in the Met next year.” “Deal.” he says

“Oh god Lewis, I was only joking.” 

“I know, but I am pretty sure that I can land you an invitation.”

“We’ll see until next year.” you tell him “Is Roscoes coming to the gala?” 

“No, I am actually sending him back to Monaco for the week and then he’ll be with me in Miami.”

“Where is he going to stay in Monaco?” 

“At the pet hotel.”

“Why don’t you leave him with me ?” 

“In Monaco?” he asks

“I live there now” 

“You do? I can leave him with you, of course.”

“If you don’t fully trust me I can ask Toto for his help. We live in the same building.” “I have so many questions about this but I have to go. It’s gym time.” he says

“We can figure out the logistics about Roscoe later. Have a good session Lewis.”  you tell him before he leaves the office 

For the next hour or so you hang out in your office all alone and when it is time you leave the hospitality center to accompany him to the press conference. Just when you are outside the press conference center you see Christian and by his side a really familiar face that you cannot remember. You take another look at her while Toto stops dead in his tracks. 

“What?” you ask him and he looks confused. You take a look for a third time. You see a familiar girl dressed in Red Bull gear talking to Christian. It’s then when it clicks. The girl is Cynthia. Cynthia Jones dressed in Red Bull speaking to Christian. What the heck is this about? You can feel the anger rising to your chest

“Breathe” you hear him say

“That’s too far” you tell him 

“It’s crazy.” he says “Go talk to her, find out what this is all about.” 

“I will" you say

“Just be careful not to reveal too many things" 

“Of course" 

Toto glances at his watch. 12:55 

“I should get going, press is starting in 5" 

“Okay, I'll see you later" you tell him and he nods “Do you wanna meet here?"

“I’ll be straight off to the TP meeting. I will see you during the coffee break, okay?”

“Okay” 

“Try to find out what Cynthia is doing here.” he says 

“I will” you tell him and you smile

“And if you are too angry about what you find out, I have some files you can take a look at while you’re waiting.”

“Okay” you say and you leave him. You spot Cynthia hanging out outside the press center and you decide to approach her

“Hello.” you tell her

“Hi” she replies and smiles “Oh, you’re Mindy right? The girl who gave us the Mercedes tour in Jeddah?” 

“Yup, that’s me.” maybe not “What are you doing here?” you ask her

“I landed a job in Red Bull Racing. Isn’t it crazy?” she says 

“Oh definitely. You went from visiting the paddock to actually working here, congrats!” you try to play excited when you are actually fuming

“It was meant to be. I landed the job when I was visiting the paddock in Jeddah.”

“How come?” 

“Christian Horner met us at the paddock club and he asked what we were doing. Once I told him about my studies in management he asked to see me in person and then he proposed this job.”

“What’s your position?” 

“For what I’ve understood, I am currently sort of  replacing Christian’s daughter while I am also acting like his PA.”

“Oh so management?” 

“It’s still too early for that title and I definitely don’t have that much freedom as an executive does. I am thinking it more like an internship in management while also being a personal assistant to Christian.” 

“Oh Christian” you say and you roll your eyes 

“He’s not as bad as everyone thinks he is.” she says “He might actually be better than Toto” 

“Yeah, nah” you tell her “Toto is actually definitely more human-ish than Christian.” 

“And how would you know? Have you ever worked with Christian?” she asks jokingly. If only she knew

“No but judging from the paddock rumors he seems to be a tough one to handle.”

“Absolutely not. He is really kind and funny. Really chill type. He made me call him by his name since day 1. It’s really like we’re friends.”

“That’s really good for you.” you say

“What about Toto?” she asks. As if she would let it go 

“Mr. Wolff is really nice.” 

“You’re not calling him Toto?”

“No, he prefers to keep things professional. He’s more into being formal and things.”

“Must be boring” she says

“It’s pretty good for now and I’m always guessing, familiarity might be a little too much at some point.” 

“Christian has been saying this about his daughter.”

“He has?” you ask slightly nervously

“Yeah, he said that working with family might be a little too overwhelming at some point.”

“Well he’s kinda right. Did he say why she left?”

“From what I’ve taken they decided that she should take a break and she’s currently hanging out in Monaco in her new apartment. He’s thinking of taking her back by the Monaco Grand Prix but he’s not sure yet.” she tells you 

“Oh, well. Whatever suits them best.” 

“Yeah, we are not the ones to judge.” 

“Definitely not.” 

“It was really fun talking to you again Mindy. We should hang out sometime.” 

“Yeah definitely.”  It’s not like you slept with the man I am sleeping with. you think 

You wave at her and leave the press center to wait until Toto finishes his morning tasks. You open the F1TV stream and watch his interview. When Will starts asking a question to Franz Tost you decide to text Toto about your findings. 

You

Turns out Cynthia Jones is staying in my life for good cause apparently Christian hired her in my position during the Saudi GP. And I wasn’t even out of the team for a week 

You see him holding his phone and taking a glance at it while Franz is speaking. He rolls his eyes and puts the phone back in his pocket. You stay once again in your office, going through Toto’s schedule for the weekend and looking at your socials. Some time later your phone rings 

Wolff

She’s going to make our lives hard but it's very typical of Christian to hire someone from the first day that you left 

You

She even proposed that we should hang out

Wolff

If only she knew 

You 

That’s what I said

Wolff

She was waiting outside the press center for Christian and now they’re both in front of me walking to the TP meeting. She’s talking and Christian is laughing like he’s having the time of his life

You 

I figured she’s that type of assistant cause according to her she and Christian are practically besties now. It’s going to be a good one when I get back to rb

Wolff

Remind me to mount a secret mic and camera on you when that happens cause I want to see the Horner-Jones fight. 

You

I bet you she’s going to regret the day she agreed to that position

Wolff

Whoa, too aggressive. How about checking some data before the coffee break cause rumor has it that you love reading data and commenting on them 

You 

Anything to get her off my mind and anything for you Mr. Wolff

Wolff

I’m flattered. There’s a file in your email waiting for your comments and questions. Bet Bono is going to be thrilled. I am off to the meeting, see you soon.

After Toto’s messages you check your email to take a look at the file he sent you. It’s full of data and details about this year’s rocketship. It is then when it hits you. The data are from the simulator and the track they’ve been using is Barcelona. In Red Bull you always used to run simulations in Barcelona so you have the exact same data from your ex team. You open them and start comparing them and finding where Mercedes lacks compared to Red Bull. You also open Adrian’s and GP’s essays on car performances and start noting any questions or things you’ve noticed. You really hope Toto will actually use them in his meeting with Bono and James. However, you keep all of the comparisons to yourself. You are not sure Toto is in favor of cheating so you will probably announce it to him later during the coffee break. You make a new file and email it to his account.  Later on you hear a knock on your door. 

“It’s Toto” you can hear him say and you unlock the door for him to enter. 

“Hey.” you say

“Hi, how are you feeling?” he asks

“I am good. I read all the data and I relaxed so much.” 

“Well, I, on the other hand, almost had a fight with Christian.” 

“Why?” you ask

“Because he was being a douchebag.” 

“Nah, he was just being Christian” you tell him and he laughs

“Was the data any good?” 

“Yeah, I also emailed you my questions and stuff.” 

“Oh, I will be forwarding them to James and Bono.” 

“Speaking of the data, I saw they were sim data from Barcelona.” 

“We use Barcelona almost every time for our simulations.” 

“Well, it turns out, Red Bull does too.” you tell him and he looks at you, suggests to keep talking “I have the comparisons fully made here. There’s also an excel file with all the lacks and the sections Red Bull might present an advantage.” 

“This is interesting.”

“I know Toto. But the thing is, I didn’t email those to you because I didn’t know if you wanted to have access to all that information.” 

“I totally get it.”

“You should understand that this is confidential, but if you decide you want it, it will be in your inbox right away.” 

“This file can affect the whole development path for us.” he says

“I know, that’s why I kept it.” 

“You should keep it for yourself.”

“I swear I won’t give this to Red Bull.”

“I trust that you won’t” he says

“I will always have it at hand if you want to use it though. Anything for Mr. Wolff” you say and both of you laugh

“Thank you.” he says “Do you want some coffee and a snack? It’s coffee break after all.” 

“No, thank you. You can leave this tiny office and enjoy your coffee in your office. I feel bad for keeping you here.” 

“I am only hanging out here because I want to.” he says “But I’ll leave you alone. We’ll have enough time tonight.” 

“Of course.” you smile at him

“Meet you after the team meeting ?”

“I will be waiting.” 

Once Toto leaves for his coffee break and the team meeting later you decide to go out and see the track. There are some bikes available at the hospitality center so you grab one and ride at the track of Baku. You see other people doing the same thing, some of the drivers are also doing their track walks. At some point you spot Max. It’s been a while since you talked considering the fact that you didn’t even see him in Jeddah but you kept texting during that time. When you spot him it is in your impulse that you almost yell at him to go and talk to him. When you remember that you are actually supposed to be an unbothered Mercedes employee you change your mind, and as you are caught up in your thoughts you almost lose your balance. Thankfully you save it before you find yourself in the ground or the barriers and you keep your direction and finish your lap. 6 km later you are back in your office, thankfully not sweaty since you took your time to circle the track, and you also have a cup of tea and a chocolate bun as a snack. You take a bite as you see today’s headlines from the Media day and you also take a look at some market news. After a while Toto texts again

Wolff

Just finished asking all of your questions to the mechanics and they were impressed to say the least because they managed to assess some really important things for the race

You 

Next time I should be present in those meetings

Wolff 

I will personally make sure of it. We will be done in 25, I’ll pick you up. Don’t be late

Those 25 minutes pass by quite fast and you don't realize until Toto is knocking at your door. Thankfully you packed your stuff earlier so Toto cannot complain about you being late. 

“I am impressed.” 

“I didn’t actually understand how fast the time passed. Thank god I had my things packed.”

“That’s why I texted you earlier.” he says

“Yeah but you cannot complain now.” you reply

“No, the truth is I cannot.”

“Are we going straight to the boat?” you ask

“Yes, that’s why I told you to pack another outfit. Tell me you didn’t forget”

“I did not” 

“Good. Now get your stuff, we are leaving.” After that both of you leave the track and go to the boat Toto has chartered for a couple of hours. He helps you hop on the boat and he does the same

“Are you going to drive this?” you ask

“Are you scared?” 

“It depends on whether you are driving this thing or not”

“I am driving” 

“Are you allowed to do this?” 

“You are shitting yourself” he laughs

“Yeah because if we drown, imagine the headlines people will write.”

“We’ll be the next Rose and Jack.” he says

“Yeah, almost.”

“Just so you know, I am fully capable of navigating the boat.” 

“For real?”

“I have a sailing license.”

“Is there anything you can’t do ?” 

“Think straight when you’re with me.”

“Very funny.”

“It’s true.” he says and you take a look around and see people walking up and down the harbor  “What about finally leaving? We’re going to miss the sunset if we take any longer.”

“Let’s go” he sails and he undocks the boat. 

The two of you sail in the Caspian leaving the Baku port behind you. Toto is making sure that everything he does is safe, occasionally checking on the radar to see whether there are other boats in close proximity. You sit by his side and snap a couple of pictures of  him while he’s driving the boat. He looks absolutely stunning. It’s already late afternoon, 19:00-ish and the sky is starting to get sweeter, indicative of the sunset later on. When you are finally out of the waters in a space that is far enough from the shore but close enough so you can distinguish the structures of the city, Toto drops the anchor and stops the boat there. “That’s quite a nice view.” you say 

“I figured you would like it” he says and comes to your side 

“You can actually see the whole city from here.”

“I figured that since we are not able to see the city together on foot, maybe this is the second best option.”

“It is. Although I would have loved a nice walk and a tour of the old city.”

“I would have loved that too.” he says as you keep looking at the city behind you and puts his hand on your lower back. 

“This right here, is the Maiden Tower," Toto points at a tower and your gaze follows his finger

“Legend has it that a young princess jumped from the top and ended her life because her father wouldn’t accept the man she loved."

“Hope I won’t end up this way.”

“God, I hope not.” he laughs and you shift your gaze to the two largest towers in the scenery

“The flame towers.” 

“I know them Toto, I’ve been coming to Baku for a while.” 

“Let me give you a tour, Horner. Don’t be shit.” he says and you smile

“Go on then.”

“The flame towers were finished in 2012. The building is a little less than 200 meters and it has a double purpose. In the first tower there are a lot of offices and apartments and in the second tower there’s a hotel.”

“What are they supposed to mean?” 

“They are meant to symbolize the eternal spirit of Azerbaijan and the country's enduring strength and resilience. Plus the whole flame design idea came from an Ancient Azerbaijani tradition of fire worshiping.”

“I love them, they look so pretty.” 

“And right beside there’s the crystal hall.”

“Never heard of it” you say 

“Eurovision was hosted there in 2012.” 

“Wait, how do you know, are you a fan ?” you ask him 

“No, I hate Eurovision.” 

“What?!” you say surprised. “You’re European, you cannot hate eurovision.” 

“I can, and I do.” 

“But why?” 

“Because it’s kitsch”

“It’s not kitsch, it’s camp, everyone loves camp.”

“It’s kitsch and I hate it, move on.” he says

“I cannot wait for the day that I will make you watch it.”

“I’d rather Christian find out about us.” 

“That’s a bold one” you tell him

“Last but not least, the fortress.” he says ignoring you and points to it

“I’ve seen the fortress, I took a ride at the track today.” 

“How did you like it?” 

“It’s so pretty, but it’s prettier from the sea. And much more interesting when you talk to me about it.”

“Hm” he says and he puts an arm around you 

“How did you learn all those things?” you ask

“I read a lot, even if I don’t have time to see the sights, I like to read about them, get to know the story of the city that I am in.” 

“That’s fair. I was wondering because I’ve been here like five times and I’ve never gotten past the name of each sight here.” 

“That’s good because you can for once, not talk and let me show you around.”

“You’re the best tour guide I’ve ever had.” you smile at him and you leave a kiss on his cheek. 

During the next hour you stay on the boat in the Caspian and see the sun set on the horizon. You take a look at the flame towers which reflect the orange and pink lights of the sunset. You snap some pictures of the scenery as well as Toto who is sitting carelessly in the boat with his white linen shirt and his sunglasses on. He also snaps some pictures of you from both yours and his phone and you also take some selfies. You immediately set the best picture of him as his contact picture and once you are done with the whole photo thing you get back to where Toto is currently sitting and relax with him for a little while longer. You two soak in the views without talking much. As it starts to get darker Toto drives the boat back to the harbor where you dock and leave to get to the hotel. Both you and Toto enter the elevator to get to your suites

“You’re coming over for dinner right?” he asks

“Well, I was thinking of getting some sleep for tomorrow.” 

“Come on, I’ve already asked roomservice to have our table set.”

“Now I can’t say no.” you tell him and smile at him. When the elevator gets to your floor you walk out and follow him to the door of his suite. You enter first and he follows and the smell of food hits your senses.

“It smells fantastic.” you say

“It’s traditional Azerbaijani cuisine.”

“I love it. We should have tried the Saudi Arabian foods as well.”

“Well, nothing can go wrong with Italian.” he says

“Then why didn’t we order Italian” you tease him

“Because I wanted to immerse myself in the Azerbaijani culture today.”

“Is it a part of the guided tour?” 

“Well, couldn’t it be?” he says “Since I’ve already given you a sight tour, I am ready to give you a culinary tour as well” he tells you as he pulls the chair off the table so that you can take your seat

“Thank you.” you tell him and you sit down as he walks back to his side of the table and sits down

“This is called Dolma.” he says as he leaves one of them on your plate “It is grape leaves with a filling of minced lamb with rice and some herbs.” 

“Interesting” you say as you take a look at the plates on the table “Oh god, is this kebab?”

“You know kebab?” he asks

“Literally everyone knows what kebab is Toto, it’s not a secret. It’s actually one of my favorite street foods.” 

“It is really good.” he tells you as he grabs a bite of it “You should also try out the pilaf” 

You take a look at it “What is this?” 

“It’s something like a risotto I guess” 

“I thought you knew the exact recipe of every single plate” you tease him

“Apparently I don’t, I just took a look at the menu and chose what I thought was best.” 

“Everything looks delicious though.” you tell him

“Wait until Miami. We’re going to eat some great burgers there.” 

“Speaking of which, I am not sure that I will be in Miami”

“Why ?” 

“Because it was cringe enough last year, I won’t submit myself  to that whole cringe fest again.” 

“You will be coming.” 

“Says who?” 

“Me” he replies and you sit there taking another bite of your amazing food, slightly annoyed . When he realizes that what he said made you angry he talks again. “Look, it is really important that you should be there. It is supposed to be your home race, we’ve told everyone that you are American, if you are only staying for a few more races it will be weird if you are not present for the only time you will get to go to a race in your country with the team.”

“No one will remember Toto.”

“People will remember. We have a list of each race in which we note whose home race it is. And by what I’ve seen you are already on the list.” 

“I didn’t write my name anywhere.” 

“I am pretty sure Bradley did. He probably remembers that you are American and just added you in.”

“And what about the home race list?” 

“We are kind of celebrating it by giving them less time to work during the weekend, or allowing them to bring their families in.”

“That’s so sweet though.” you say 

“I mean, people are important to us, they are not just workers, they are our companions.”

“I hate this team” you say and you see Toto lifting one eyebrow at you “I mean, I hate how much I already love it. How am I supposed to go back to Red Bull?”

“You can just stay in Mercedes.” 

“And say what to Christian?” 

“Tell him that his team is shit, his management is also shit and that you cannot grow in that shitty environment.”  

“He’ll find out that you told me to say that and then you will find yourself on the cover of Corriere dello Sport.” 

“Won’t be the first time.” he laughs “ Jokes aside, would you ever consider leaving Red Bull?” 

“Now I certainly do. I mean, I hadn’t seen anything aside from how Red Bull worked as a team and the race weekend at Saudi was eye opening.”

“Is that a yes?”

“I am already considering it, yes.”

“Will be nice to have you here one day, without hiding I mean.”

“I wasn’t talking about Mercedes. I am considering an offer at Ferrari.” you tell him jokingly and he almost chokes at his wine

“Where?” 

“Ferrari. It’s a really great team with a great legacy.”

“Ask them for a paddock pass for tomorrow then.” he says and you burst out laughing

“I am only joking.” you tell him “I would consider it if I had an offer from another team though.”

“We will always have a position available for you if you ever decide to leave that shithole.”  

“I’ll tell you when this happens.”

“There’s a when, not an if, that’s good.” 

“I know what’s best for me and I am slowly convincing myself it’s not Red Bull”

“Good.” he says and you two keep eating until you hear someone knocking on his door .

“I’ll be right back” Toto tells you and answers the door. You can hear him talking with someone, his voice is quite familiar. 

“Shov?What are you doing here?” 

“Do you have some time to see tomorrow’s practice program?” you can hear him say

“Um, I am actually a little busy.” 

“It will only take a second, you should only check and approve it.” 

“I fully trust you Andrew, I approve of it.”

“Good.” he says and he almost leaves “Are you having dinner with someone?”

“Yes, with Lewis, we are discussing contract extensions.” 

“Has he been here a long time?”

“An hour or so.” Toto tells him

“That’s funny, because 20 minutes earlier I was at the gym with Lewis.”

“Um…” 

“It’s okay Wolff, I hope you are having a good time with whomever you are hanging out with right now” he says and laughs “Hello unknown person who is having dinner with Toto.”  You hold your laugh until Toto says goodnight to him and he leaves the room. When you see Toto entering the room with his ‘I fucked up’ face, you burst out laughing and he joins you seconds later. “I hope he was not angry” you tell him 

“No he wasn’t angry, I am pretty sure he was thrilled about the whole thing. He’s been trying to get me someone to hang out with for ages.” 

“You are good mates huh?”

“He’s one of my closest friends, yes.” 

“And he still asks for your approval for the program he wants the team to follow tomorrow?” 

“Yeah, I’ve told him millions of times that it’s not necessary but he insists.”

“That’s so sweet of him.”

“I am only taking a look at it before approving it, it’s not like I pay that much attention, I fully trust him.” he tells you and you keep eating

“When are we leaving for Miami?” you ask

“We? I thought you weren’t coming.”

“I am, I also have to bring Roscoe with me, I promised Lewis that I will take care of him from Sunday till we get to Miami so that he doesn’t have to while he’s in New York for the Met.” 

“You promised Lewis that you will carry Roscoe all the way from Monaco to Miami?”

“That we will carry him, yes.” 

“How did I get involved in this? I don’t remember having any conversation about a dog.”

“I told him that I would take care of him and then I promised that you will help me since you’re now my neighbor. I figured you would know him a little better than I do. I mean Lewis brings him to the paddock almost every week.”

“And have you ever seen me with a dog in the paddock?” he asks

“No, but I thought you had a good relationship with him.”

“Me and Roscoe’s relationship is nonexistent, Horner.”

“Oh god, tell me you are afraid of Roscoes” you make fun of him

“I am thinking of leaving Nice on Thursday morning.” he says

“You are changing the subject.” 

“I am not, you asked me when I plan on leaving for Miami and I answered.” 

“Thursday huh? What about Media day?” 

“I’ll have Shov or either one of the two James to do it and we will be present for the Free practice.”

“Cool.” you tell him 

For the rest of the night you hang out together until you decide to leave.

“Will we be going to the paddock together?” 

“I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning.”

“What’s the schedule for tomorrow? Hold up, let me check.” you tell him and grab your phone out of your pocket to take a look. “Oh you have a business meeting after FP1 which is supposed to last almost until the start of FP2. James is set to do the press.”

“I don’t remember having any business meetings. Who is it with?” 

You take a look at your phone reading the name which catches you completely off guard. You blink twice and take another look at it, still the same name. “Who planned this?” you ask

“I don’t know, I don’t remember planning anything for Saturday. Maybe Bradley did.” 

“This cannot be real.”

“It better not be Cynthia again.” 

“Who cares about her right now?” 

“Will you tell me who I am meeting tomorrow for whatever reason or am I going to this meeting unprepared?”

“The guy you hated last week, Marc Taylor?”

“Seriously?”  

“I am dead serious Toto, his name is here.” you tell him and show him the name on the schedule. “You are supposed to discuss sponsorship. Apparently the Taylor Group is interested in investing in F1” 

“This is going to be a hell of a meeting.” 

“This is going to be a disaster.” 

“Funny that both of the people from our past keep appearing in our ways.” 

“It’s not funny, it’s shit. Toto, promise me you will handle it gracefully.”

“Dear, I have nothing to be afraid of. You’ve proven to me who you’re always thinking of. It’s pure business. If he wants to invest and it favors the team then we shall cooperate.”  

You take a deep breath “That’s too much information and it’s already getting late. I am guessing I should get going.” 

“Won’t you stay for the night?”

“Nah, it’s quite early in the race weekend and I want you to focus tomorrow. Both for the testing sessions and the Marc thing.” 

“Okay, see you tomorrow?” 

“I am actually thinking that maybe I should skip FP1 since Marc will be around, I don’t want him finding out who I am.”

“Smart idea.”

“I am going to drive myself to the track and meet you for FP2” 

“Brunch at the track?” he asks

“Oh definitely.” you tell him and you kiss him goodbye as you go back to your suite. You don’t have anything to do so you decide to check your emails before going to sleep. You see a new message popping up the list From: Netflix, DTS

Miss Horner, we would like to schedule our next shooting with you for the newest season. Please let us know if and when you are available to be present at the track where the interviews take place.Kind Regards, The DTS Producers

You shrug and decide to answer From: Ms. Horner 

Hello and thank you for contacting me, I am currently taking some time off the team and I am not aware of which race weekend I will be back in the paddock. I  will however be happy to inform you as soon as I find out about my whereabouts within Red Bull. Regards, Miss Horner

You set your alarm at the same time Toto’s and Marc’s meeting is supposed to take place and then switch off your mobile and fall asleep. The next morning you wake up just in time to actually take a shower and get ready to go back to the track. You arrive there just in time for FP2. Everyone’s already in the garage so you decide to go there directly. As always, you see Toto sitting at the top of the fantasy island watching over the two garages. “Hello Mr. Wolff.”

“Oh, you’re here!” he says

“How did your meeting with Marco Barco go ?” you say and as soon as the words get out of your mouth you see Marc Taylor himself walking next to Toto with his headset on “How did you just call me?” he asks and you freeze, mainly because no one calls him like this except from you, the Horner you, not the Mindy Rosevelt you. “How did I call you?” 

“Did you call me Marco Barco?” he says and Toto looks at the both of you slightly confused

“I called you Marc. Just Marc.” you tell him

“Alright.” “Mindy, this is Marc Taylor, he’s the owner of our newest sponsor. We closed the deal earlier during our meeting.” 

“Mr. Taylor, I am so glad that we will have you around more from now on.”

“So am I, I am glad that I actually decided to go for my instinct and invest something in F1.”

“Absolutely.” 

A short minute after he asks

“Why are you still wearing a mask? Isn’t it bothering you?” 

“Oh no no, it does not. I am actually wearing it because I don’t want to catch any colds and lose my internship days.”

“I see. And where are you from? Mindy right?” By the questions he asks you are already sure that he is suspecting something

“Yes, I am from Boston, US and I ended up here as an intern from Daimler US.” you say and he answers “That’s really cool.” For the rest of the time you don’t interact, Toto isn’t involving in any of your talks and you know it’s because he fears that he’ll fuck this up more if he does. However, he still speaks to you and Marc separately and when he’s talking to Marc he shows off a little more confidence and certainty. It’s like he knows that he’s better than him, which he actually is and you’ve made it clear both that night in Monaco and yesterday after your dinner. The session finishes with the two red bulls on top, followed by the two Mercedes. “P3 and 4 isn’t bad but it’s not P1 and P2 either. I know we’re running similar engine mappings and we still need to be on top.” Toto says in his message to the mechanics.“I am sure we will be there by tomorrow.” you tell him “I should go grab some food because I haven’t eaten yet. I am sure I will see you around Mr. Taylor.” 

“I believe so.” 

“Marc and I are going to talk a little more and he’ll be off in a while. Talk to you later?” Toto says and winks on you while Marc is on his phone “Of course Mr Wolff. See you later.” you tell him and get back at the hospitality center where you get some food which you take to Toto’s office. You unlock the door with the set of keys he has given you and you set your tray at the table beside his office. You lock the door as you stay inside in order to surprise him. After some time you can hear footsteps approaching and the door handle moves but the door doesn’t open“Oh it is locked.” you can hear Toto say and the next thing you can hear is his keys on the lock. He opens the door and just as he enters the office you speak “I thought we should have brunch together.” The man who enters the room stops dead in his tracks. Of fucking course it’s Marc, followed by Toto who is gesturing something to someone in the hallway. Toto stops and looks at you. Marc speaks first “Horner, what are you doing there?” he asks “Shush Taylor, they’re going to hear you.”  

“Why are you sitting in Toto’s office dressed in Merc gear?” 

“Ummm” you say and you pause to think “F1 made us have team principal meetings like this in order to boost our relationship” you tell him, not a good excuse. In fact it’s a terrible excuse. “What kind of bullshit do you think you’re selling to me?” Marc asks. Toto is just behind him shaking his head “There’s no point in trying to lie to him.” 

“Isn’t there?” you ask and at the same time Marc is taking a look at you. “You’re Mindy? I figured something was wrong here.” 

“Look, I need you to shut your mouth about this. No one can know.” 

“Why are you here in the first place?” he asks “Christian shut her out of the team for an unknown period of time and she wanted to have access to the paddock without paying herself.” Toto says. “Why didn’t you ask Franz to take you in his team for a while?”

“Because I didn’t want Christian involved in anything.”

“So you two guys had a fight? And what about Mercedes Toto, how is the team going to be safe with all of this.” 

Toto tries to explain the situation to Marc “She has already signed NDAs about the team, and I wouldn’t even take her in if i didn’t trust her.” You take a deep breath and Toto understands the position you are in so he decides to leave you and Marc alone for a second “Should I go fetch us something to drink?” 

“Yes please.” you tell him

“Why did you end up out of the team in the first place?” 

“I was late to a business meeting. You know how Christian is with them.” 

“And he threw you out. How long has this been going on ?” 

“Not long ago, the GP in Jeddah was my first one with Merc.” you say. Marc stays quiet for a while and his eyes spark with realization a minute or two later. “Oh god, it’s him, isn’t he?” 

“What?” you ask him. “The guy you’re heads over heels with? The situationship man! That’s why he’s the one you turned to for the paddock access and that’s why he gave it to you. You two are dating right?”

“Well yeah, it is him but I told you before, no one can know okay?” 

“Of course. How long have you been together?” 

“We are not together yet, we are just spending time.”

“Yeah right and he took you in his team because he’s just spending time with you.” he tells you and you laugh “I might not know him for a long time but I can tell who I am making deals with. He’s a very direct guy.” 

“I know he is.” 

“If it’s not me, he’s the next best option.” 

“That’s what I’ve been saying since this has been happening.” 

“I am happy for you, really.” 

“Thank you Marc.” you tell him.  Later on Toto comes back with your drinks and the three of you discuss for sometime. Later on and only after you’ve completed your duties for the day you wave Toto and Marc goodbye and go back to your hotel. You sit in your room, have an extra long video call with Sara in which you tell her everything about today and all the days you’ve been missing from Monaco and she texts you a photo from her balcony in Monaco which you post in your official instagram story in order to make everyone believe that you are actually there and not in Azerbaijan. You watch a bunch of drive to survive episodes to prepare for your upcoming interviews and then take a long relaxing shower. Before you even realize it is time for dinner and just as you were thinking of it you get a text 

Wolff

Are you coming over for dinner?

You 

Nah, I am actually thinking that maybe I should get some rest before tomorrow. I will be ordering something here instead

Wolff

Okay. I hope you are alright 

You 

Yes, all good but I would like to be excluded from tomorrow’s practice session. Only if I am not needed that is

Wolff

You are always needed but you are always working hard and think you deserve to have the session off

You

Thank you Toto, I won’t forget that ;)

Wolff 

I hope you won’t 

After your chat with Toto you decide to order some dinner in your room and after that you spend some time on your socials before going to bed. The next day you wake up early as you hear someone knocking at your door. Well, it’s not just someone, in fact, it is Lewis who is at your door and right by his side is his best friend, Roscoe. You were expecting them since Lewis told you he would bring Roscoe over to your suite before hitting the track for FP3 and now you are supposed to take care of him and bring him back to the paddock just before qualifying, when Angela will take over from you. “Good Morning. Were you sleeping?”

“I was yeah but I was planning to wake up either way.”

“This is my good boy Roscoe” he says and he kneels and pats his back “Good boy” he says. “He is adorable.” you tell him and you also kneel to pet him. “He might be a little shy at first, he just wants a lot of cuddling and playing. I am sure he will love you though.” 

“I hope he will, we will have to spend some time together before Miami.” 

“Toto mentioned that you didn’t want to come, did  you decide otherwise?” 

“I did yeah, we are planning to come on Friday so Roscoe will be there by then. When are you flying from New York?” 

“Thursday morning, I have media duties, I am not like you.” he laughs

“Well, I am not going to the Met either so I guess we are even.”

“Yeah right. Am I going to see you at qualifying?” 

“Of course, I plan on coming, I will bring Roscoe to you later.” 

“Good, see you then I guess.” 

“Bye Lewis.” you say as you wave him goodbye.  Roscoe and you enter your suite and you can see him running in his tiny feet trying to take in the space around him. You decide to take a shower but you leave the door open and as soon as you come out of the tub you find Roscoe sitting there waiting for you. For the rest of the time you play with his favorite toy that Lewis left you and he lies on your side as you take a look at the morning news. When the time comes, you get ready and hit the track once again but this time with Roscoe Hamilton on your side. You can see photographers taking pictures of you but you remain completely calm as your face mask and your hair hide your real identity and enter the Mercedes hospitality. You drop Roscoe off to Lewis’ suite where Angela takes over, and text Toto who you can clearly see from the garage that you’re currently sitting in. Toto is just outside making statements to broadcasting channels and companies ahead of qualifying and you are sitting there on the right side of his chair waiting for him to come back as soon as the broadcast of qualifying begins. The session is pretty good for the team, meaning Mercedes and the drivers manage to get P2 and P3. Max is sitting in P1 for tomorrow’s start, a brilliant lap from him you think. “2nd and 3rd are pretty good positions.” Toto says. “The only thing that scares me is Max in P1.” 

“We’ve got him, the setup for the race will be even better, Mick has been running the data from the analysis the engineers made based on your comments on the simulator and we’ve seen impressive lap times. We’ll get this for sure.”

“I never doubted their skills, I am sure they can even make the Williams work.” 

“They are not doing miracles, they are just engineers.” Toto says and you laugh “They had some good guidance, we wouldn’t have found the exact setup if it wasn’t for you.” 

“It’s just Saturday though. We will see tomorrow.” 

“You’re right.” he tells you “About tonight, you don’t have any plans right?” 

“Except for laying in bed as soon as I get back and ordering dinner I don’t plan on doing anything else.” 

“Dinner and movie then?” he asks and you nod  “Hitting the track together ?” you ask and he blinks a couple of times. “How come?” 

“Well, won’t I be sleeping in your suite tonight?” 

“I am surprised that you’re even proposing that.” 

“Well if you don’t want to, I have plenty of space in my suite, I will be sleeping all alone again.” 

“Okay, dinner and sleepover in my suite for tonight.”

“Will you be doing press?” you ask.“Only for an hour or so, after that I need you with me in the post qualifying meeting with the mechanics.” he tells you. “Where?” you ask surprised. “I need someone to write some notes down for me during that meeting so I figured you would want to join.”

“But-” you hesitate and he interrupts you before you can finish up your sentence “I don’t have any issue with you, I fully trust you.”

“I know, you’ve been quite vocal about it.” 

“Well, best believe it. Also, you won’t be there just for note taking, you can partake to the whole meeting with your points or ideas” 

“You cannot be serious.” you tell him. “I am as serious as it gets Horner. Wait for me outside your office in an hour.” Toto says as he waves at you and disappears from your sight. After an hour you find him outside your office. Both of you attend the post-quali meeting where you participate with a lot of questions about the performance of the car. At some point you also hear praise from Bono about the setup that you proposed. Well, he didn’t exactly give credit to you, since for him it’s nowhere near your job to give mechanical input about a car set up but he did say that whoever came up with the insights on the setup was a great help. The car was flying compared to the free practice yesterday. It turns out that you actually helped them and you now, more than ever, feel a part of a team that embraces you even if it isn’t directly said to your face. As soon as the meeting is done you and Toto go back to the hotel, wasting no time in the paddock. You get directly back to Toto’s suite where food is already served. The both of you eat and then you relax for a while on the couch

“I am so exhausted from today.” you tell him 

“Do you want to sleep?” he asks

“How about we watch a movie?” 

“You are going to sleep in the first 5 minutes” 

“I promise you I won’t” you tell him “Not if the movie is good anyways” 

“How about La La Land?” he asks and you look at him and burst into laughter. “You want to watch La La Land? Are you serious?” 

“I just happen to know that you love it.”

“Yeah but do you actually like it?” you ask. Toto clears his voice“Um, I haven’t watched it.” and you answer surprised “You cannot be serious.”

“I am. Whether you believe it or not, I don't watch such movies. Or any movies at all.”

“You are traveling 300 days out of 365 and you don’t watch movies? What do you do on the plane?”

“Read the news, sleep. It’s not that I don’t watch movies, it’s just that it is not on a regular basis.”

“I will make you a cinema fan, I swear. La La Land was game changing for me. That’s what we are going to watch. I don’t care if you don’t like musicals.” you say and you navigate in the TV menu to find the movie stream “Oh and by the way, if you haven’t watched Mamma Mia yet, I will get my ass off this suite and not talk to you until you watch it.”

“I have watched it and I can say that I actually liked it.”

“Aren’t you ashamed to say it Mr. Perfect Image?” you ask him. “Not to you. You clearly watch that kitsch fest that is Eurovision and love musicals so I am not the one to be ashamed here.” he says. “Hey!” you yell at him.“Just press play Horner.” he says and you follow his instructions. During the whole movie you can see he watches with pure interest, even during the songs which he doesn’t know he seems like he’s having fun. You are doing your part to keep him entertained, singing all the songs since this is probably your 50th rewatch. You make all the fun and smart remarks that you’ve seen on socials from other fans of the movie to keep him engaged. When the movie ends, during the epilogue scene and towards the end you can see him tensing, kind of trying to cover his emotions up. As the credits roll you turn to him.  “So? What do we think about one of the most amazing musicals made to this day?” 

“The ending” he says and pauses. “The ending what?” you ask him. “The ending was weird. Like it really made you believe that this could work but it actually was the ‘What could have been’ moment. It was kind of brutal.”

“Well, that was the intention. To show that two people had to let go of each other to achieve their dreams. It’s because they loved each other that they decided to do this. Now that I am thinking of it, it kind of is brutal, but it’s realistic. Life is brutal sometimes.”

“Do you analyze every movie that you see like this?” 

“Well, yeah? That’s the point of watching a movie, it’s not looking at beautiful pictures for three hours straight and then going to sleep.” 

“So you’re really passionate about it then.” 

“I am yeah.”

“It’s kind of nice that you find things that you really like and are so passionate about them” 

“You can also do it, you know. Being that one guy who’s obsessed with managing a team, finance and racing isn’t all you can ever be. You can have hobbies and other interests. I just think you are scared to break that flawless facade, which is funny because I genuinely believe that you are a man that is full of passion and you want to show it to people. You are afraid that if anyone outside of your safety bubble finds that you are human and not a well programmed robot that performs at its peak day in day out, your life will end. I know you try to be open about things that concern you and people around you, like how you’ve been speaking out about your mental health, but showing your real self can be hard for you but you should really try.” you tell him and he sits there just listening “How about we make this a thing? Movie night, once a week. Or more if you have more recommendations.”

“Am I about to turn you into a cinema noob?”

“Shut up.” he says and checks his watch that is resting on the arm of the couch you are currently sitting on. “How about going to sleep? We have to be at the paddock tomorrow morning.”

“Yeah sure.” you say and both of you walk off to the bedroom where you sleep until Toto’s alarm goes off. “Good Morning.” he says, his voice deeper than usual, with that sleep raspiness standing out “Hello.” you tell him and you can feel him shifting next to you“It’s race day” 

“I am aware. I have a really good feeling about today.”

“Hm” he says “Do you sense a win?” he asks and he plants a kiss on your cheek. You could get used to it. “I actually do. I feel like we are going to do well.” and you can almost hear him laughing “Who’s we?” he asks you. “Mercedes?” you tell him and he laughs, content that you actually consider his team yours by now.You lay still on the bed for a few more minutes, sitting in complete silence but you can feel the two of you debating whether or not you should get off the bed. You and Toto are too lazy to do anything but like always he’s the one who takes the initiative and moves. “Come on, get yourself ready. We have to be down at the paddock in 45 minutes.”

“I don’t need 45 minutes.”

“Oh you’re sure about that?” he asks. “Positive. You can time me if you want.” you reply.“Yes?” he asks. “Yea. But I am not going to race myself to get ready without breakfast first.” 

“I thought you were smart enough to figure out that we are always having breakfast at the track.” You don’t reply, you just sit and stare outside the window while Toto is using his phone. With his serious voice he says “Hey Siri, call Jasmine.” and then his phone starts dialing. It’s not after a minute that a female voice answers the phone. “Hello Jasmine, this is Toto, can I have my full breakfast order done and served in 45 minutes in my office?” he asks and waits for a few seconds. “I also want two servings of the same order, that in my office too, same time.” he says and you smile at the chat he’s having with his employee. “Also, it is really important that you find Mr Lord and let him know that I will not be available for the next 2 hours and I don’t want any distraction while I am in my office. Yes. Yes. Thank you Jasmine.” he says and he ends the call. “Now that you know breakfast is waiting, go get ready. Now.” 

“Is this an order?” 

“I am already counting.” he says and you run to get ready.You start running around his suite grabbing all of the things you need for race day as Toto sits on the couch scrolling on his phone while he gives you some glances. 15 minutes later you are ready to go, bag on your shoulder, shoes on. “I’m ready” you say standing and looking at him. “You are quick.” he says, still scrolling. “I am. We could go now, although you are not ready.” 

“It won't take more than 5 minutes.” 

“Really?” you ask “Yes. I just put my clothes on, get my iPad and my computer in my bag and I’m ready to go.”

“Oh I thought you needed time to get your face ready for cameras.”

“Nope, I’m all natural, the one who needs to get her face ready is you.”

“I didn’t do anything on my face except from washing it and applying some sunscreen. I am 100% natural today.”

“I see. Although you cannot convince me that when you were at Red Bull you took less than 35 minutes to get ready.”

“Well yeah I needed like half an hour to get my hair and make up done. I have to get camera ready every day. I was always late and Christian yelled at me so many times. Now no one sees me so it really doesn’t matter if I look like shit.”

“You don’t look like shit, you are great.” he tells you “Aw thanks.” you say and you drop your bag on the floor and sit next to Toto on the couch and give him a peck on his cheek. He turns and looks at you and kisses you right on the lips, instantly deepening the kiss laying you on the couch. You smile in that kiss and keep going, tangling your fingers on his hair, pulling him closer. He puts his hand under your waist and pulls you closer and you can already feel a burning desire. “How about we get back to bed?” he asks. “We have to go Toto” you manage to say between kisses.“I don’t want to leave.” he says. “We can miss the race to be honest.” you tell him. “Yes we can.” he tells you “But we won’t. Plus you’ve already ordered us your breakfast”

“You’re better.” he says and you scoff when you hear his words. “Oh god, behave Wolff” you tell him and you push him away teasingly. You walk away from him and he sits there, resting his head on the back of the couch trying to calm himself. “You got to get ready now” 

“Okay.” he says unwillingly and stands up and starts getting ready. Half an hour later you take the walk from the hotel to the paddock which has already begun getting flooded with people. Both you and Toto take your breakfast at his office and then you follow him around in his pre race routine, from fan zones to debriefs, to interviews and finally to the grid. You spot Christian and Max many times during your time there but Toto doesn’t say anything more than a Hello to both of them. You watch Max get ready to hop in the car in front of both Lewis and George and can’t help but feel a bit of anger that he is sitting on pole. You know Mercedes’ car is fast, it’s more deserving to be in P1 than Max. You know you have to work hard to bring them in P1 and P2, because the Red Bull is not slow either, you know the car from inside out, and you know it’s capable of winning. It’s only a race’s time. When it is time you manage to greet Lewis in a flurry of cameras, fans and engineers at the grid and head back to the Mercedes garage. As you head towards the entrance of the garage you hear your (fake) name being called and you turn to see Cynthia outside the Red Bull garage as she shouts good luck to you and you yell back at her, wishing her good luck. You take your place at the fantasy island and watch the race start. Max launches off perfectly, at the right time and Lewis and George get a little left behind. As the race goes on, Max is still in front of the two Mercedes drivers, who are actually closely following him. You keep watching fully focused on the telemetry screens in front of you, and listening to the talks between team members about pace and strategy. Not long after the race start, you see both cars overtaking the Red Bull and launching off into the distance. The cars are quite quick but Max keeps following them, in DRS range. The rest of the field stays back as the two black and the one blue car fight to get the first place. As soon as it is time for strategy calls you can hear the team agreeing on a double stack for the pit stops, and so it happens, but as it is normal, double stacks can’t always be flawless. George’s stop is perfectly timed and great in duration so that the undercut will be strong enough but on the other hand, Lewis who has been really unlucky with some shitty stops has it again. The front right tire doesn’t come off as quick and the stop lasts a whooping 5.6 seconds, which makes Lewis lose a track position to Max and a whole 2 seconds to him as well. Toto gets so frustrated with the stop that he smashes the desk like he always does and the race continues. Toto is all the time on the radio with the strategists and the mechanics and as a result he has no time to talk to you. Lewis is chasing Max but failing. Max is much quicker than he is and when he does reach him he is not able to make a move on him. The race finishes with George in 1st place, Max in 2nd and Lewis in 3rd.  As always Toto reaches and presses the button to congratulate George and you can see the message being broadcasted on TV. George happily replies and celebrates, thanking Toto and the team. And then Toto moves on to congratulate Lewis. Lewis is much less excited than George was. He just thanks Toto and the team and switches his radio off. You realize from the first minute of the broadcast that Lewis is kinda pissed off and disappointed.

“We won” Toto turns and tells you with a smile on his face.  “Lewis is disappointed I’m sure. But yeah at least George won.” you tell him. “I know Lewis will be disappointed. We let him down today, he’s not going to be glad. He did everything he could but still the car just couldn’t work to get past Max.”. “I am really hoping he will be alright.” 

“It’s Lewis, he’s always bigger than this. A title got stolen from him and he kept on going. I am sure he’s going to come out of this car, go to press and celebrate with us even though he might feel bitter about the third position.”

“Yeah, you probably know him better than I do.” you say and then Toto leaves you in the garage while he’s walking around the paddock talking to journalists, Sky Sports, F1 TV. Later on there’s indeed a celebration with the team for George’s win and Lewis’ podium and everyone gathers there. There’s the usual team picture and then the champagne celebrations which everyone tries to avoid but gets caught up to. After the whole thing winds down you find Lewis sitting outside the garage and you sit with him “Congrats for today!” you tell him trying to cheer him up “Uhh, I don’t know man, this isn’t my best result, but thanks either way.”

“Come on Lewis, you know you did the best you could, and it’s okay, I was in the garage next to Toto and right after that mistake he kept on trying and asking on how you could get past Max and even George but I guess the stars didn’t align for you today but for George.”

“I guess you’re right. I feel like I am overreacting but you know I have to keep my head up, nothing comes out of complaining.” Lewis says. “You just somehow became your own therapist and you overcame the whole thing in like 5 minutes. I hate you.” you tell him laughing. “I’ll teach you how to do it, it seems like you will need it when you leave us.” he says reminding you of your situation in Red Bull. “Definitely” you tell him and you sit there in silence for a while until Toto comes by you. “We’ve got to get going, we only got one and a half  hour before the jet leaves”.

“You’re leaving now?” Lewis asks and Toto nods but some mechanic comes to talk to him 

“Will Roscoe be joining us?” you ask. “About that, I will be flying with Valtteri and will drop him to Nice before flying to NYC. I was thinking about spending a little more time with Roscoe before dropping him off to you. Is it okay if Valtteri drops him by your place later on?” 

“Oh no problem, give him my number so that he can text me once you are in Nice.” 

“Great!”

“Lewis I really gotta get going, I have to pack my things back at the hotel before leaving.”

“Of course. I’ll see you in Miami. Take good care of Roscoe.”

“I will” you tell him and you wave him goodbye. After that you leave the track alone since Toto is still busy at the track. You go back to your suite and pack your things and with 45 minutes still left you take your phone and ring Toto. “Are you in your room?” you ask. “No, still at the track.” he says and you reply slightly surprised “Wait, what are you still doing on track?”

“I am having a discussion with Stefano about technical directives and he can’t stop talking.”

“Are you sure you’re going to make it? Are your stuff packed?” 

“No they are not, I thought I would have enough time to do it now but he thinks we are having a meeting.”

“Why don’t you tell him that you have to catch your flight?”

“Because he will propose that we fly together” he answers “I keep checking my watch but he doesn’t get the message”

“Oh then try to get out of this discussion asap.” 

“Will do. See you in a while” he says and he hangs up. You check your bag and you find Toto’s suite card so you decide to go to his suite and pack his suitcase. You take everything off the closet and start folding them and placing them in his carry on, take his shoes as well as his stuff from the bathroom and place them in the suitcase. Lastly you take all of the chargers and laptops and stuff them into his bag. You take a seat on his couch now both of your suitcases fully packed and ready to go but he’s nowhere to be found. 20 minutes before the time that you have to be in the airport your phone rings and his name pops up on the screen. You accept the call. “Hey” you say. You “We are not going to make it on time. I only just got to the hotel.” he says and you hear footsteps outside his door. “And? We still have 20 minutes.” 

“Everything is unpacked. We are going to be late.”  he replies and the door opens. He sees you sitting on the couch and ends the call. He walks in the hallway with a confused expression“What are you doing here?” he says and you point at the suitcase and bag left in the middle of the living room area. “I packed.” you tell him and you smile. At this very moment you see a very anxious but happy Toto walking towards you and placing a kiss on your head. “Thank you” he says. “I had time to kill, a spare key card and I figured you might be late so I thought why not. I hope that I packed them in the right way. Oh and make sure that I got everything.”

“It’s perfect, thanks.” he says and he takes a look around the suite, looking for things he might have forgotten. Five minutes later you are ready to go, you leave the hotel, you drive to the airport and get there 10 minutes late but still the jet is ready to go. You board, take the seat opposite to Toto and get as comfortable as you can, he takes a book out of his bag and places it on the table in front of you. You take off from Baku and you start feeling slightly worn out. “Sleepy?” he asks. “Is that so obvious?”

“Yes.” 

“It’s just that races wear me out so much. In Red Bull it was easier but now I literally spent twice as much energy because of the whole hiding thing.”

“I get what you mean, I can’t get through it without a cup or two of coffee” 

“It is funny because the race is during the afternoon but it still drains me” 

“You should sleep.” he tells you. “I won’t.” you tell him and he hums “So, tell me about the technical directives you were discussing with Stefano.” Toto starts explaining what he and Domenicalli were discussing along with some other team principals and you try really hard to follow what he was telling you. You were asking him questions but you felt your eyes burning “I will just close my eyes because they hurt but I will keep listening.” you tell him. “Sure” he says and he laughs. “Hey, I won’t sleep.” and he teases you “I bet you won’t.”. You close your eyes and you follow Toto’s voice, keep asking him questions and discussing until you are less and less conscious and fall completely asleep. Almost 4 hours after, you wake up, feeling the plane descending into lower altitudes. You feel surprisingly warm and open your eyes only to see Toto’s jacket all over you. You slept through the whole flight. You move slightly and Toto, who is sitting just opposite to you reading his book lifts his eyes from the book to you.“Glad to see you didn’t sleep.” he tells you  “Hey, don’t make fun of me!” 

“I love it when you know you are not right and still try to convince others that you are.” You roll your eyes at his comment and take a look outside the window. “Where are we?” 

“Almost in Nice, we will be landing in 20” 

“Cool. I can’t wait to sleep in my bed.” 

“You’re not coming over?” 

“No, I’ve had enough of you during the past days.”

“Right.” 

“How’s your book?” you ask. “It is good.” Toto says 

“I’ll read it after you.”

“I’ll be happy to lend it to you.” 

“Oh and if I like it I will need access to that Wolff Reading List.” 

“I don’t have a reading list.”

“Oh god what?”

“It is not a competition Horner, I read for my pleasure.” 

“So do I but I have a reading list. I read reviews and I sometimes write them anonymously.”  

“Well, I don’t give a shit about reviews, I read the synopsis and if I find it interesting I read it. I am sure some of my favorite books have the shittiest reviews but I don’t care.” he says. “Wow, you are stronger than I am. If a review isn’t good I won’t even start the book.”

“That’s some of the shit people of your generation do”

“Oh yes I keep forgetting that you are a boomer.” you joke “We are not going to discuss this again.” he says in a strict tone “Okay sir.” you mock him. “Fuck off, go back to sleep.” he says and he turns back to his book. “Thanks for the blanket by the way.” you say but he gives you no answer and you laugh. “Are you going to drive me back to Monaco?” you ask. “No you should call Marc” he says. “I hate you Wolff.” you tell him. “I hate you too.” he laughs. A short time after you land in Nice and contrary to what he said earlier, Toto orders for all of your baggage to be loaded to his car. You take the drive back to Monaco while discussing  paddock gossip which Toto repeats isn’t a thing he does but he happily participates in the whole discourse. Half an hour later you arrive at home, Toto parks the car in the garage and you get your bags out of the car and take the lift to your apartment. You hug him goodbye and go to your apartment where you instantly unpack and get comfortable and sit in your bedroom where you binge watch gossip girl until it is late enough and Valtteri is calling you to drop Roscoe off. You text him your details and 5 minutes later he’s knocking your door.  “Hi Valtteri.” you greet him. “Hi” he says shyly, holding Roscoe’s leash on his one hand and a bag with Roscoe’s food and toys

“Lewis told me to drop those off. Including Roscoe.” 

“I will be taking care of him while Lewis is in New York For the Met Gala.”

“Oh yeah, I would take care of him but Tif and I have to go to a bike competition in France”

“Don’t worry, I will take care of him instead. Good to see you, did you have a nice flight?”

“Yes, it was pretty decent, you know how it is when traveling in private.”

“Yeah definitely.” you tell him. “We missed you in F1, when are you coming back?” he says and for a moment you freeze before you register that you supposingly weren’t in Baku this weekend. “I missed you guys too. I don’t know when I am coming back yet, I am still adapting to my new life here in Monaco.”

“You are right, we will be happy to see you back.” 

“Thank you for dropping Roscoe off for me”

“You’re welcome.” 

“Good luck for your competition.”

“Thanks, goodnight!” Valtteri says and leaves you with Roscoe.

Roscoe gets in and moves around the apartment trying to get used to it. You play a bit with him but at some point you are too tired and get to bed where Roscoe joins you and curls next to your feet and falls asleep. You do the same for the night. The next day you wake up in your new home, register the fact that now you have to take care of Roscoe. You take him out for his morning walk and you go back home where you decide to text Sara once again. 

You

I am back in Monaco. Are you up for some coffee?

Sara

Oh welcome back! Of course I am up for coffee. Your place or mine?

You 

Cafe de Paris in an hour?

Sara

Omg sounds perfect. Gotta go get ready.

You 

I will be bringing Roscoe over too

Sara

God I love this dog. Of course bring him over, the dog is a socialite

You shut your phone and start getting ready, dressing up appropriately for the Cafe de Paris. You feed Roscoe and get him ready and after an hour you are sitting in Cafe de Paris with Sara. You both enjoy your drinks while the bulldog is sitting by your side and you keep gossiping about people you know. Sara spills her work gossip and you keep discussing different bullshit. Time goes by and both of you get hungry so you propose cooking dinner at your place. You and Sara get back home and you start cooking a risotto while she drinks wine and you tell her all the paddock gossip. “So turns out Christian hired that bitch who was hooking up with Toto.”

“He did what?” 

“Yeah, he hired her during my first week off the team.”

“Oh my gosh. I might sound a bit harsh but don’t you think that your dad is a bit problematic?” Sara asks “I’ve been thinking that since I officially joined the team, S. I just don’t understand his logic” you say and you hear your phone ringing. When you check you see Christian’s face popping up.“Speak of the devil”.

“Hey dad” you say 

“What are you doing?” 

“I’m good you?”

“No, I mean, what are you doing outside with Hamilton’s dog?”

“Oh Roscoe? Lewis is flying to the Met Gala and he wants someone to take care of his dog.”

“And you suddenly became best friends with Hamilton that he trusts you with his dog? You have the audacity to walk him in Monaco’s most crowded places? There are pictures all over the internet.”

“I think you are overreacting.” you tell him 

“How did the dog end up in your hands? Were you in Baku yesterday?” 

“What the fuck dad? I was in Monaco, I had Valtteri drop him off.”

“Are you teaming up with them? Do you think it’s going to make me change my mind and take you back?” 

“Look, I have a risotto cooking up on my stove and I do not plan on burning this place down, so let me get it straight for you. I am just taking care of a dog that for some reason triggers you in a way that nothing ever has. I am doing a favor to a friend. Nothing to piss you off. I don’t know why you think everyone is constantly plotting against you but the reality is that we are not. Take a chill pill and get used to seeing pictures of me with Roscoe until Lewis takes him back. And for fuck’s shake, let me live my life.” you say and you turn off the call. “What was that about?” Sara asks. “There are pictures of us and Roscoe from today and Christian was pissed because of a freaking dog.” 

“Oh then you were right to speak to him like that” 

“Thanks” you say. As soon as the food is ready you and Sara enjoy your lunch at your balcony with a sea view and after a couple of hours she leaves you alone. You clean up the kitchen, do the dishes and get changed to a tracksuit and a pair of sneakers for Roscoe’s night walk. You enjoy a walk along the coast of Monte Carlo and later on you come back to your building. To your surprise you see Toto just outside, dressed in a suit while waiting for his car. “Hi” you tell him. “Hello. Out for a walk I see?” he asks. “Yes, Roscoe needed his night walk.” you say as Roscoe approaches him. Toto instantly takes two steps backwards looking at the bulldog “Where are you off to?” you ask. “I’m going to a business meeting.” you are interested about his day “With a sponsor ?” and he replies giving you all the information you ask for “No, it’s for one of my finance jobs.” 

“I see.” you say and you spot someone with a phone pointing to you two “We are being videotaped”

“It’s been a while since we’ve last seen you in the paddock miss Horner” he says “Oh yeah, I’ve been having some time off that’s why.”

“I’ve heard the rumors, met your substitute as well. When do you think you’re coming back ?” 

“I haven’t decided yet, I am still recharging to be honest.” 

“Good thing to do. Take your time” 

“Thank you Mr. Wolff, take care.” you tell him and leave him to go back to your apartment. You take Roscoe off his leash and he slowly walks to his bed where he falls asleep. You lay on your couch and check your socials. It’s the first Monday of May and your timelines have already been flooded with Met Gala content, from the setting of the red carpet to some of the celebrities and acquaintances getting ready for the event. You promised Lewis that you will stay awake to see him on the red carpet and for this reason you decide to take a nap. It’s not that late but since you have to wait for Lewis until later that night you chose to kill some time this way so you drift off to a sweet nap. In the middle of your sleep you hear the doorbell ringing and you walk half asleep to the door where you check through the peephole to see who it is and you see the one tall austrian outside your door dressed with the same clothes as earlier. You open the door and you let him in.“What are you doing here?” you tell him, voice sounding a bit hoarse so Toto gets the hint. “Have you been sleeping? Did I wake you up?” he asks a little worried, “Ummm, you kinda did” you tell him, “Oh sorry, I should go then, let you rest.” 

“I was going to wake up anyway.  I promised Lewis I will watch him on the red carpet today.” you tell him and he asks “What is it today?”. You laugh with his ignorance “Oh god we are never going to get an invite if you keep asking those questions.”

“Why do we need an invitation for this?”

“It’s one of the most exciting nights of the year Toto, the Met Gala, every relatable celebrity dresses up in custom designer pieces that match to a theme and they have a dinner or something.” 

“Prom for rich people?” 

“Kinda. I am surprised you aren’t aware of it, since Lewis has been going during the past 3-4 years if I’m not mistaken.”

“Pop culture isn’t my thing.” he says while he takes off his jacket and hangs it on a chair nearby. “I can see it” you reply. Toto joins you on the couch, he sits on the side, takes off his shoes and unbuttons the top button of his shirt. You grab your computer and sit close to him. You open the TV and you play the Vogue Livestream of the event while Toto sits bored next to you switching his gaze from the television to the ceiling, to your laptop, to you and then back to the television. As you are watching the event, Toto stands up and takes a look at your bookshelf and he picks a book which he starts reading while you are too busy waiting for Lewis. Toto speed reads the book as you text Lewis asking him to let you know when he will be joining the red carpet. At some point you distinctively hear Roscoe’s paws on the floor as he runs to the living room. He sits just below your feet which you have laid on the coffee table while Toto is laying on the long side of the couch. Roscoe takes a look at you and then at Toto, both of you too far absorbed to be paying attention to him and for this reason the poor dog decides to make you pay attention to him.  Roscoe starts barking and in a fraction of a second, Toto slams his book close and starts backing up and climbing on the back of the couch. When you notice him you burst out laughing. You should have been aware that Toto is afraid of Roscoe, that’s why he was skeptical about having the dog in the same place as him during a transatlantic flight. It seems so hilarious to you that a grown ass man such as Toto is afraid of an old bulldog, mainly because Toto is who he is. The intimidating boss, the scary rival. You immediately grab your phone and start recording. “Lewis, I know you’re in line for the red carpet and you probably won’t see this until tomorrow but you have to see this.” you say as you record yourself and then turn the rear camera on. “I don’t know if you are aware of it but it seems like Mr. Wolff here is afraid of your dog.” you say as you see Toto on the back of the couch and Roscoe staring at him. “Hey! It’s not funny, please get him to leave!” he says and just as he completes his sentence Roscoe continues barking at him, Toto’s expression is essentially pure panic at this point but you continue laughing. You know Roscoe just wants to play with him but he is not very much aware of it. “Please just stop recording and get him out of here” he says again, you are still recording. “He’s not going to hurt you” you tell him, “You don’t know it” Toto replies. “Okay Lew, I have to take care of this, we are still waiting for you here” you say and you show the Vogue Livestream on your TV “Have fun!”  you say and you stop recording, sending the video to Lewis. After that you leave your phone down, you grab Roscoe and bring him by your side, far from Toto, who seems like he lost 5 years of his life. The dog lays on the couch as you rub his belly and he seems happy. “See, that’s what he wanted. Just a bit of attention and love.” you tell him “Well, if he wanted that he shouldn't have barked at me. I was scared to death” 

“Toto Wolff is afraid of dogs.” you say “I am. You cannot imagine how many times I���ve managed to avoid any interaction with this dog during the past 8 years.”

“I was just wondering how Lewis didn’t have any idea of this.”

“Oh, did you send the video? Did I make a fool of myself on Lewis as well?”

“No, that’s not making a fool of yourself, that’s adorable” 

“Until Lewis posts it on his socials” 

“He won’t” you say 

“You don’t know Lewis, he loves making fun of me every chance he gets”

“I mean sometimes you’re hilarious so he’s right, you shouldn’t be angry.” you tell him 

“Most of the time I’m not actually angry, I am just acting like I am to make him feel bad” 

“You are crazy” you tell him and you turn to catch a glimpse of the screen when you see Lewis coming up the red carpet. “Oh there he goes!” you say and Toto turns his attention to the screen and so does Roscoe once he realizes that his dad is on the tv. “That’s a daring outfit.” Toto comments as he watches Lewis posing on the red carpet. “Oh you suddenly have an opinion on fashion?” 

“Why shouldn’t I? You think you’re the only one with a fashion sense?”

“Darling, at least I have more than 3 outfits in my wardrobe” you tell him and he rolls his eyes. He knows you’re right but he still focuses on the television. You see Roscoe staring at the screen and you snap a photo which you post on your instagram stories right after lewis leaves the red carpet. “Did we just sit here to watch Lewis pose on the red carpet for 3 minutes?” 

“No, I am hoping he will be back for an interview shortly after.” you say and he nods, going back to the last page of the book he was reading and 5 minutes later Lewis comes on the screen again and both of you watch the interview ss

“You’re an expert on this aren’t you?” he asks “I have been watching for the past 10 years, Toto. Plus, they do love Lewis a lot, it was almost certain that they would give him the interview.”

“They do seem to have a preference for Lewis though.” he says 

“The truth is, as much as Max is supposedly my friend, he’s not that relevant out of our little world.” 

“How can you do that?” 

“Do what?” 

“Hang out with him”

“Look, he isn’t as much of a dick as he seems, he’s actually a pretty decent company and he’s a kind soul but only if you are close to him and that’s why he comes off as an asshole to everyone else.” you say and you yawn. “Sleepy?” he asks

“Yeah, I am starting to get tired. Are you going to stay?” 

“I would but Roscoe will be here.”

“He can sleep in the guest room, please stay?”

“I will, although I have a meeting tomorrow morning. I’ll just wake up early.”

“Okay” you tell him and you stand up taking Roscoe in your arms “Wanna pet him?” you ask. “Only because you’re holding him” he says as he pets Roscoe who’s now sleepy. You leave your living room and head towards the guest room where you leave the dog, closing the door behind you. By the time you are out the door you see that the living room is already empty and you head to your room where Toto is already laying in your bed. You change into your pajamas and climb in your bed where you fall asleep. The next day you wake up and as Toto said, he has already left for his meeting. You check your phone and you see several texts, the first one from Toto reads a simple Text me when you wake up. The second one is from Marc, saying Parties ahead of the Cannes film festival are just starting, thought it would be nice for us to be seen together, to silence people about our whereabouts. Only as friends though. Accommodation in my yacht. Tristan will be here, bring Sara as well. RSVP. You give it a thought, thinking about how Christian made a scene about Roscoe, and how he asked you where you were. You text Toto first, to make sure it won’t be a problem. 

Woke up just fine although i would have liked you to be here and not in that stupid meeting of yours. Also, Marc just sent me an invitation about a party tomorrow and I think maybe I should go, do some pr job, give people something to talk about

Toto 

You should go just don’t get too wild

You 

I won’t,besides Sara will be probably coming as well.But the thing is it will be in Cannes, but I’ll make sure to be back to Nice on time for the flight

Toto 

No problem

You leave your phone on dnd and continue your tasks for the day, doing some light cleaning on your apartment when the doorbell rings. You open the door and you find a donut and a cup left on your doormat, the cup has a note on "Sorry for not being here for breakfast, consider this as my not so homemade breakfast." You smile and shut the door, immediately texting Sara, inviting her over for coffee and gossip. Once she comes over you share the news on the party for which she agrees immediately and she proposes a shopping spree for the party. You agree with her and shortly after you are off to the shops where you try on different outfits, occasionally texting Toto for his opinion on some of the outfits. At the end of the day, Sara ends up with 4 or 5 bags from the shops and you buy one simple black  dress  from Sandro to wear for the event. You grab a drink at the Blue Gin and you head back home where you pack your bags both for the party at Cannes and for the trip to Miami. Before you get back to bed you receive a text from Marc.

Marc Taylor

I will be waiting for you tomorrow morning for our trip to Cannes

You 

Where will we find you?

Marc Taylor

At the marina, we will be using my yacht obviously

You 

We will be there @ 10:30. Should we bring coffee?

Marc Taylor

We have a barista on board. Just get your bags. 

The next day you wake up, dressing up with a maxi sundress suitable for the yacht trip. You later meet Sara and her driver drops you off at the Monaco marina, right outside Marc’s yacht. You get on board as members of Marc’s staff get your bags on the yacht and into your rooms. You follow Marc straight ahead and join him and Tristan on the deck. You can see people with cameras taking pictures of you from the marina and you play along. You do want paparazzi to see where you are and who you are with, you are confident that they will be running the story before the party today. You greet Tristan and walk the deck, taking the sun in and gazing into the mediterranean. Sara snaps some pictures of you and then the yacht leaves Monaco and sails to Cannes.  “What time does the party start?” you ask,"At 8 I believe.” Tristan replies, “We have to start getting ready as soon as we arrive there” Sara tells you 

“We will arrive in Cannes in an hour, you will be needing 6 hours to get ready?” 

“Haven’t you met Horner? She takes at least two hours to get ready for a day at the paddock, you think she will be getting ready in sooner than 5 hours for a party in Cannes?” Sara answers and you laugh. As you sail to Cannes, the four of you sit on the deck sipping champagne and gossiping about old acquaintances of yours until one hour later you arrive and you dock at the marina. Tristan and Marc go out for a walk and you and Sara stay on board to relax and get settled to your rooms. You leave Sara in her cabin and you relax outside on the deck. You snap a photo and post it on your stories and then start reading your book until you start getting ready, while listening to music. Tristan and Marc come an hour later and Tristan waves at you. You take your headphones off. “There’s someone that has a package for you outside”

“What package?”

“It’s an order from a fashion brand I think. They said you made the order from Monaco and sent it here”

“Oh yeah that” you say “Marc can you please get this for me?”

“Of course” Marc replies and leaves you behind with Tristan. “What are you reading?” he asks, “The Goldfinch” you tell him.

“Oh I heard it’s nice.” 

“It is really good, I’ll give it to you when I finish it”

“Great! Um, by the way, have you seen Sara?” 

“She’s in her cabin, probably planning today’s look. She doesn’t wake up looking as good as you see her.”

“Bet she looks even better when she wakes up” Tristan says and you burst out laughing.“You really like her don’t you?” you ask 

“I do. Not as much as Marc likes you though.” 

“Tristan, Marc and I have already discussed this.”

“You know he’s still trying though” he tells you but he stops talking as he sees Marc coming up to the yacht. “This is your package Miss.” says Marc and kneels in front of you showing you the box.“Thank you mr. Taylor” you tell him “I gotta go try it on and plan my look for today, see ya later losers.”. You walk away from Marc and Tristan and into your cabin where you untie the black bow on top of the box and open it to reveal a green silk dress and in the box, a black handwritten card, a handwriting you recognize."Yesterday night I was watching Succession, saw this dress on Shiv and thought it would look nice on you. Bis Bald.". You smile in disbelief and try the dress on and you manage to fish out your emerald Manolo shoes which perfectly fit the color of the dress. You decide to wear this to the party instead of your new bought Sandro dress and you undress since lunch is about to be served. After your meal you return to your room, and start getting ready. You take a shower, use a face mask and then fix your hair in a low bun chignon. You apply some light makeup and some jewelry for the party. When you get out of your cabin you see Marc and Tristan in their party suits. “Wow Horner” says Tristan but Marc just sits there staring at you. “We should try to snap some pictures until Sara is ready” he says again and pushes both you and Marc at the front of the yacht where he takes pictures of you both with your phone and your polaroid camera but his phone rings so Marc becomes your photographer for the moment. “You look stunning, the color is amazing.”

“Thanks” you say and you keep posing. 

When the whole photoshoot is done you check your pictures and decide to post one of them on your story but first you want to check that everything is okay from Toto’s side 

You 

[Sent 2 photos]

Your wish is my command. The dress is perfect. Tristan and Marc were stunned

Wolff

I knew as soon as I saw it that it would be a perfect fit. Glad they liked it. Hope Marc keeps his hands to himself though

You 

He will! About that, is it okay if I post the picture of me and him ? 

Wolff

Everyone is going to talk about you two being a couple so why not feed the story to them? It’s okay by me after all ,at the end of the day only I know that you will be sleeping in my bed for the weekend 

20 minutes later Tristan is already yelling at Sara to hurry up and when she does show up at the deck she sees you and stares at you. “Horner!????? What are you wearing?” she asks “You look stunning but bestie this wasn’t the plan was it?” You approach her and you whisper to her ear “It was a surprise gift I couldn’t say no to”. She scoffs. “And he won’t even bring me flowers” she says as she points at Tristan. A couple of photos later the four of you are off to the party. At the party there are a lot more photos, dancing, drinking, mingling and socializing. Everyone is enjoying the wonderful night including Sara, Marc and Tristan. You get lost in a discussion with some movie producer who happens to be at the party and at some point you see Marc approaching you along with a blonde woman, which you happen to know. “Horner!” Marc says as you greet the producer “Marc, I lost you an hour ago, where were you?” 

“With this badass. I am not sure you’ve two met but, this is Francesca Scorcese” 

“Taylor, I’ve met Horner before. You always forget nepo babies always know each other” 

“Absolutely” you say “What have you been up to since I last saw you?” you ask. The three of you start discussing and later on partying. Late at night the party starts drifting off and your quartet returns happily to the yacht. You gather all the pictures from today, making sure there’s enough you and Marc on them so that people will start believing that you are in a relationship. You post them on your instagram captioning them as “What were your favorite nepo babies up to ?”  and you shut your phone before falling asleep. The next morning you wake up and make sure everything is packed. Sara’s sister who happens to have a job in Nice and was taking care of Roscoe in the meantime comes and picks you up from Cannes and drives you to the airport where you finally meet Toto. “Morning!” you tell him and give him a little hug. You are already in incognito mode so you’re making sure no one is watching you. “Hello. How was your party night?” 

“We had a lot of fun actually. You know how our events are? Not even close to that”

“At least on those events we get to be at the same place.” 

“But as long as I can remember the only thing we’ve managed to do was fight” you tell him “Thanks for the dress again. Everyone was impressed” 

“That is for you telling me that I don’t have any fashion sense.” he teases you “Mr Wolff, it is time to board.” the lady at the gate says. You take your stuff, carrying Roscoe in his cage as well and you board the jet. You get comfortable and get Roscoe out of his cage but you hold him on your lap, making sure that he won’t get close to Toto. The plane takes off and you drift off to sleep as the lack of sleep from your party night becomes apparent. After 3 hours you open your eyes and look out the window as you are flying mid Atlantic. It takes a minute before you realize that Roscoe isn’t on your lap anymore and you take a glance around you and you see the bulldog sleeping on Toto’s lap. You laugh at the sight, thinking how some days before Toto was afraid to death and how now he peacefully sleeps with him. You snap two or three photos and send one of them to Lewis. 

You 

[Photo]

Character growth! We are on our way to Miami. See you there 

Lewis Hamilton 

That is insane. Ah man, can’t wait to tease Toto for all of this. Thanks for the content, Horner. See you at the track!

Shortly after you drift back to sleep and you only wake up when you feel the ground below you shaking. You open your eyes and look out of the window again to see the airport of Miami. You don’t register that you have finally arrived until you hear “Miss Horner, Mister Wolff, Welcome to Miami”. Toto looks around and tells you “Let’s see what this race week brings us” and you nod, mentally preparing yourself for another week at the F1 circus. 

[fictionalmenmakemecry]

Fuckin' with the Ecosystem- Chapter 4

Character: Carmy Berzatto x Reader

Summary: You decide it was time for a new chapter. You pack up everything in New York and drive back to Chicago with Carmy by your side. Due to the stress you both feel from the move, you're both on edge which leads to a mess you have to deal with.

Warnings: Angst, cursing, fluff

A/n: Chapter 4 is here! The further this goes the more twisty it's gonna get! I'm only getting started. Poor Carmy always has the best of intentions but seems to get caught on the delivery. Thank you for all of the support guys. I really appreciate it. I have a taglist going, let me know if you want to get added!

If you haven't read, here's: Chapter 1 , Chapter 2 and Chapter 3

Enjoy!

As you put the key in your door and walk into your apartment, it hits you that you're starting a new chapter. Once you made the decision to move to Chicago, you rang your landlord, letting him know that you were moving out. He wasn't too pleased to hear about it. You told him that you'd find someone to sublet it for the remaining 3 months you had left on your lease. You knew it wasn't going to be a challenge as New York was continuously dealing with a renting shortage.

The two weeks flew by. You felt like you were always catching up on what needed to get done. But never being able to finish a task completely. You put an ad out for your sublet, and to say people were desperate was an understatement. You had several responses in minutes and multiple viewings arranged. Once you picked the few people who were good to sublet, you handed it over to your landlord, as he had the final approval. Within a day of that, you had an official date to move out, and suddenly, everything felt real. Before this, in your mind, you felt like you could change your decision, and it would have been okay. But now, you don't have an apartment next week, so now you had to move, whether you had wanted to or not.

"Getting cold feet?" Carmy voice spoke out of your phone.

"No, no.. just seeing my things in boxes is... making it real" you looked around seeing your frames leaning against the wall and your possessions all over the place disorganized.

"Your flight is good?" You asked, bring your focus back on the task on hand.

There was a moment of silence.

"Yea, think so. Here, let me send you the link to my flights" Carmy muttered

Your phone vibrated with an email notification labeled as "NY flight".

"Okay... well... I guess I'll see you tomorrow then?" You asked, feeling your stomach flip realizing you'll be seeing him.

Since you've been so busy organizing everything, you forgot the whole point of the actual move. To start a new job in a new city, with great people and a close old friend. The stress was nearly over when it came to closing the chapter in New York, and was replaced that was excitement for Chicago.

"Sure will, don't stand me up." You sensed a smile off of him

You waited at the arrival gate, scanning the bundles of people coming out. Your eyes hopped face to face, until you finally recognized one. He walked up to you with open arms carrying his backpack on one shoulder. He was wearing his wool coat and white shirt combo. Always a classic for him. You gave a quick hug, breathing in his usual smell which was a mixture of cigarettes, deodorant and gum.

Carmy was relieved to see you waiting there. He noticed you before you noticed him. A warm sensation spread across his chest when your eyes landed on him and a smile broke out on your face immediately.

You both hopped on the subway, Carmy telling you everything that happened since you've been gone. He explained how Richie, Fak and Marcus has been busy breaking down the place. While Tina and Ebra have enrolled into a short eight week course in culinary school. Syd has been busy researching new flavors and themes for the restaurant.

"Suga' has been dealin-"

"IRS are being a pain in the ass" You cut him off walking down the street getting closer to your apartment.

"Yeah.. how did you know?" Carmy looked over surprised.

"We've been chatting on the daily. She keeps me in the loop. She's also been helping me find a place in Chicago." You grinned at him pulling out your keys as you came up to building.

"Oh.." He hummed and looked down.

"So, you know everything already. Why didn't you stop me?" He asked, him now feeling out of the loop.

"I like the sound of your voice babes" You mocked, opening the door.

You looked back at Carmy, who followed you into the lobby, giving you a smirk.

You both arrived at your apartment and swung the door open. He followed you in, dropping off his bag at the door.

"I have most of the small things packed away. It's alotta awkward big stuff I'm gonna need help with." You turned around to see Carmy looking around while walking further into your living room.

You felt vulnerable now that he was standing in your safe place. The place you called home for 4 years.

"I know- its not much bu-"

"It's.. its nice. Cosy," he landed his eyes back you, giving a gentle smile.

Your apartment was small and not the most modern. But over the years, you tried your best to make it yours. Your kitchen was a joke. You barely could swing a cat in it. But lucky for you, you worked in a restaurant which mostly kept you fed and you never really cooked anyway.

"That kitchen is an abomination," He stated, pointing at it in shock.

You chuckled knowing he was going to judge your kitchen.

"You wanna know the worst part?" You walked over and grinned.

You leaned over to the stove which was crammed in the corner of the kitchen. You opened the door of the oven. The door stopped 3/4 of the way before hitting the wall in front of it. You glanced over to Carmy who's jaw was open. He raised his arms to his head in dismay.

"What the actual fuck" He uttered, walking away with his head shaking.

With a busy couple of days ahead of you, you started getting errands done. Tomorrow was the final day, and there was still a lot of shit that needed to get sorted. He started breaking down your your bed frame and tables you had.

"Ikea piece of shit" He muttered to himself as he struggled with taking out a screw that was stripped.

"Who the fuck made this bed?" He yelled out to you from the bedroom.

You smiled to yourself, knowing he was going to love the answer.

"Take a guess" you yelled back.

"Dickhead Nick" He spat finally getting the screw loose.

You giggled to yourself hearing the string of curse words Carmy was uttering.

"Finally" He huffed, after half an hour of struggle.

You popped your head around the corner and watched Carmy gather the parts of the frame and put them all together in the corner of the room. The frame was heavy, but Carmy lifted it like it was nothing. You couldn't resist looking at his arms flexed with the movement of each piece. His arms against the tight sleeves of his shirt.

"You okay?" You snapped back to notice Carmy looking over at you, dusting his hands off.

"Yeah- yeah, sorry. I'm just tired," You walked away, feeling yourself blush from the thought of getting caught admiring him.

Carmy went to collect the rental truck as you finished off putting the last few things in boxes. That night, you both slept on the floor with a blanket and pillow. It didn't matter how uncomfortable it was. You were exhausted to the point of passing out.

You woke up with the sounds of your alarm. You picked up your phone to see 5:00 am. You looked over to the sight of Carmy laying on his stomach, his face smooshed into the pillow with his mouth half open. As you sat up, the floor boards creaked, making him stir. He stretched out his arms, yawning. His white shirt tossed beside him.

"Warm?" You rubbed your eyes.

He looked at you with his eyes half open. You flicked your eyes to the white bundle beside him. His eyes followed, and realized what you were talking about.

"Um- yeah. This place is fuckin' boilin' at night," he muttered sleepily, sitting up.

"Yeah, that's the one thing I don't like about this place." Your eyes traveled down to his bare chest. His gold chain resting against his skin. Your dragged your eyes away before he noticed.

You thought back to years ago when he was way more scrawny. He really had grown into his... physique. His shoulders were a lot more toned and built than you remember.

Hold up, you caught yourself. You stopped yourself going down that rabbit hole. It's been awhile since you've gotten any but you and Carmy have never been like that.

He leaned over and pulled his shirt over his head, tossing his hair all over, pushing his arms through.

"So... let's get ready, and pack the final things in the truck, sweep the place, and we should be good to go before traffic gets bad," you commented getting onto your feet and made your way to the bathroom.

"Heard" He mumbled rubbing his eyes.

You both worked your way through the apartment and played Tetris a little with trying to cram as much as possible in the truck.

"I'm tellin' you, if you take that out, you're just going to undo all the work we did last night." You grunted, getting annoyed with the constant struggle of your belongings.

"Lemme try." Carmy snapped back, glaring at you.

He handed you the box that you were both struggling to fit. You were beyond exhausted, and the thought of driving 12 hours put you in a further bad mood.

You watched, annoyed, as Carmy readjusted the lamp that was taking up too much space.

"I know you don't wanna have this in front with us, but you goin' hafta." He took out the tall lamp awkwardly, losing his patience with it. He wiggled it and angled it out. Then, he took the box off of you. He slotted it into the gap that was left behind by the lamp. He slammed the doors and turned to you, a small smile appearing on his face.

"What?" You barked, frowning back at him.

He stared at you for a moment.

"Nothin," he shook his head, the smile still on his face.

If he was honest, he couldn't stay annoyed at you when he looked over and saw how pissed you were, holding your lamp. He thought about how rough you both were . Your hair tied away from your face, and his just a bush on his head. Both sporting bags under your eyes. You standing there holding a lamp angerly, just shifted something inside him. To him, you looked ... cute? He couldn't place the words. He dismissed the thought quickly but with the remnants of the smile left behind. You both had a lot of shit to get through today, and he's thoughts weren't on top of the list.

You entered your old apartment for the last time. Completely empty. The walls looked bare after so long filled with your favorite pictures and posters. You walked through all the rooms and checked the closets to make sure nothing was left behind.

You glanced down the hallway to see Carmy leaning against the wall, playing with the truck keys absent-mindedly. Two months ago, you were minding your business, figuring out your next job in New York. With one phone call, now you're moving to Chicago to work in a non-existent restaurant.

You made your way back to him, and you took one more look before closing the door.

"Ready?" He asked, looking back at you.

You nodded, smiling back at him.

With a long road ahead of you, you decided to take turns driving the truck. Carmy offered first. You didn't know if because he saw how tired you were, or he was just being kind. Twenty minutes into the journey, you were conked out.

One arm on the steering wheel, the other resting on the door, he would glance from time to time over to you. You leaned up against the other side of the truck with your head against the window using your hoodie as a make-shift pillow.

Carmy had a constant knot in his stomach the last week. He felt excited to see the plan that you made actually happen. It really did feel like a new beginning had started. The restaurant being remodeled and you moving to Chicago, it felt real. For once, he was actually feeling hopeful about the future.

Along the journey, you made a few pitstops for bathroom breaks and snacks.

"Where... ar wehh?" Carmy lifted his head feeling the truck coming to a stop outside a gas station.

" I dunno, fuck middle nowhere Pennsylvania," you said before getting out of the car.

"Still? Fuckin' hell. How big is this state?" He groaned, readjusting his head.

You came back with two energy drinks, and you threw him a bag of chips.

"Thanks," he mumbled

"It's the only payment you're getting for helping me move." You smirked, cracking open a can.

You heard him give a light chuckle before putting his head down again.

Once the sun came up, you both felt more awake. It a crisp winter morning. Cold, fresh, but the sun was shining with a clear sky.

You pulled over for another pit stop.

"Huhh" Carmy readjusted in his seat, completely disorientated from his power nap.

"Needa pee" you said restlessly.

"Again?" Carmy complained

"Energy drinks run through me"

The truck came to a halt. You jumped out and raced inside, barely waiting for the automatic doors to open fully before going in.

Carmy sat up in his seat and decided it was his turn to drive. He made his way to the driver side. He thought to himself for a moment before turning on the truck, putting it into drive, and pulled away.

He had no idea what got into him, but he wanted to fuck with you.

He had moved the truck to the other opposite side of the gas station, to the point where you would have to turn around to see it as you walked back to the old parking spot.

He watched the door waiting for you to come out. His hand resting against his mouth, tapping his finger on the steering wheel.

You walked out in the direction where the truck was parked, to see it not there anymore. You swore you parked it right there, took glance around to your left and right.

Were you losing mind?

Did Carmy take off?

Doubtful but it did pop into your mind.

Carmy continued to watch from the driver seat. A sneaky smile emerging on his face, he watches you look around. He could tell you thought you were losing your mind.

He gave the steering wheel a light push, and a short horn blared out of the truck. He saw you whip around from the sound, and a smile popped up on your face.

You went to the truck and got in the passenger side.

"You fucker" you giggled punching him lightly in the arm.

"Gotta keep you on your toes." He chuckled, rubbing this arm where you hit.

"I thought you dipped." You said securing your seat belt.

"Na, I'm not that bad," Carmy pulled out of the gas station.

For the next couple of hours, you chatted about random things, trying to keep you both dying from boredom. The conversation would get interrupted with Carmy's road rage of people cutting him off and traffic building up as you got closer to the cities.

"Why the fuck would Google Maps bring us on this route, it's slammed" He glanced at his phone

"Cause someone wanted to avoid tolls" You rolled your eyes to him.

"You fuckin' think I'm willing going to pay 90 dollars to those bastards?" He lightly hit the steering wheel in frustration.

"Well it would only be half-"

"It's not about the money..." He broke off as you both crawled along the road.

Nine hours into the twelve hour road trip, and both of you were starting to feel it. You were looking rough to begin with, but now you both felt just as rough.

With you behind the steering wheel again, you glanced over and saw him gaze out the window, his head leaned back. You didn't know if he was asleep. The sun was slowly starting to make its way down. The dusky sky was followed by an early dark night.

"Pull over at the next gas station." Carmy spoke up, looking over at you.

"Why?" You checked your rearview mirror and blind spot before turning your blinker on.

"Chicago is a mess when it comes to one ways. It'll be easier if I drive the rest of the way" He explained licking his lips.

You didn't fight him on this. You hated driving in a new city, the stress of the traffic, especially in a truck that was a lot bigger than your old car, you were glad he offered.

You switched sides and felt a ping of sadness that the road trip was near to an end. You were glad that the move was finally over, but wished you appreciated being around Carmy more. You felt the need to cling onto every minute spent with him. The feeling that you got in your stomach, your gut. You haven't felt that in a long time. The peace you had with him when cruising down the highway.

"What's your address?" He asked as you pulled up to a stop at a red light.

You pulled up your email confirming your lease contract on your new apartment. He glanced over, his eyebrows immediately popping up.

"You're fuckin' kidding me, ight?" He scoffed.

"What?" A hint of worry in your voice.

"Could you have picked a rougher neighborhood?" He asked sarcastically.

"I asked Sugar an-"

"Suga hasn't a fuckin' clue. Why didn't you ask me? Or anyone else...." He ridiculed.

"It can't be that bad." You dismissed his attitude, trying to reassure yourself.

There was a moment of silence with the red light turning green.

"Fuck- okay. it's fine. But if any- I mean any shit goes on, you immediately call me or Richie, okay?" He took his eyes off the road staring at you.

"Yea- yes, of course" You nodded pressing your lips in a fine line.

As you traveled through Chicago, you looked through the perspective of it as your new home. You took note of maybe some cafes and shops you wanted to go visit. You started to see more and more neglected buildings as you got closer and closer to your new apartment.

"I didn't have many options." You blurted out.

"With the timeframe I had and what I can afford right now. It was between this place and another, but I would have to wait another week before getting the other place, " you explained, feeling uneasy looking out at the streets.

"W-why didn't you tell me? We could have worked something out? You know I would have fixed you up with somethin'," He said softly.

You looked over and saw his eyes soften. You felt guilt, layered on top of all the negative feelings that were in your stomach right now.

"I didn't want to be in the way. I felt like I was already a burden with taking you away from the restaurant for the last couple of days" You brought your head down not wanting to go down this train of thought.

Carmy brought his hand up to his face and rubbed his forehead. He didn't want to make the situation worse. He wanted to pick his words carefully, feeling your uneasiness beside him.

"Look, the place isn't probably that bad and it's not forever" He gave a small smile trying to comfort you.

"Six months" You whispered feeling completely disheartened by the change in atmosphere in the last couple of moments.

"Yea- that's good. That'll fly by" He smiled again.

But it was too late, his first reaction was the real one and not what you needed. To move to a big city by yourself is hard enough. To do it in the bad part of town is not something you wanted to also deal with.

"What number?" He asked, looking out his side window

"Two thirty," you whispered.

Carmy continued down the street at a slow speed, keeping track of the numbers on the buildings.

"Here" He pointed in front of him pulling over to the curb.

You didn't even want to look. The weight in your stomach was keeping you from looking up. The adrenaline from New York had worn off, leaving you with disappointment and worry.

Carmy hopped out of the truck and was looking at a building that was a little run down, but the entrance was clean, and there were no dodgy people around that he noticed right away. He looked up and down the street to see a corner shop and a laundromat closest. He instinctively took out a cigarette and light it inhaling the smoke. He turned back to the truck window to still see you in the seat, looking down.

"Shit" He muttered to himself knowing he fucked up. He had to say exactly what was on his mind. He couldn't just keep it to himself and wait til' you got here. He mindlessly kicked a pebble on the ground while finishing his cigarette, trying to think what would be the best thing to do. He didn't want to make things worse. You were both on your reserves when it came to energy and patience with each other. He didn't want to stumble at the final hurdle.

After a few minutes, you heard the door being pulled open on your side.

"Hey... Look, I'm sorry... this is a really nice building from what I can see..." He braced his arm on the door jam.

"You're just sayin-"

"I'm not... I'm really not. I'll promise to tell you if your apartment looks like a shithole when we go see it"

You looked up to see his dead serious face break into a smile. You felt a smile creep up on your face even though you didn't want it to.

"C'mon" He nodded up, bringing his hand out for you to grab.

He helped you down off the truck, and you went inside with him right behind.

As you went to the building managers office, he walked around feeling out the place. He walked to the mailing room, which was a mess with piles of neglected mail from past tenants.

The place overall smelt like stale bleach. It was dated and worn, but it was clean. He was grateful for that.

"Got it"

He noticed how quiet you were. He would looked over and you give him a weak smile. But deep inside he knew you weren't okay. He wanted to hug you and hold you. He never had the intension to hurt you and he was pissed off with himself that he did.

You made your way to the fourth floor and made a wrong turn on the hallway before turning back.

"Here it is, 46C," you hummed, sticking the key in the hole.

With the door swinging open, you both walked in. The layout was close to your old apartment. The door opened to the living room with a hallway to your left where the kitchen and bedroom lead.

You walked into the living room where blank walls faced you with two windows looking out to the street below.

"Bathroom isn't bad" you heard Carmy call out further in the apartment.

You walked over to see him sitting on the toilet lid.

"I see you're giving it a test ride," you chuckled.

"Someone has to." He shrugged jokingly.

Him seeing you chuckle, even if it was a light one made him feel somewhat better than he didn't completely wreck the evening.

You turned around to see the bedroom directly across. It could comfortably fit a queen bed, which was a relief. From the pictures, you couldn't tell if the bed would be cramped in it.

"So, I was thinking the bed would be here?" You whipped around, spreading your arms, imitating the size of the bed.

"In the middle?" Carmy asked walking in behind.

You nodded, turning around to face the wall.

"Yeah... I think that would work," you grinned seeing the potential in this room.

You continued to imagine how the rest of your belongings would fit in your new bedroom.

"Let's get started. There's a lot to move still," he made his way out of the room.

The curse words that were uttered from both of you as you awkwardly moved the big pieces of furniture first. It was a close call when it came to the mattress fitting in the elevator. Carmy was adamant that it was going to fit.

"No way in fuckin' hell was I gonna drag this shit up four floors." He gave out as he was crushed against the elevator holding the mattress.

Both of your faces were flushed red and sweat gleaming from the heavy lifting.

Carmy and you struggled as you dragged the plastic covered mattress down the hall to your apartment. It was the last of the big pieces with mostly boxes left to carry.

Another hour, and the truck was finally empty. You took your phone out of your pocket to check the time. Eight o clock shined back at you.

"Damn, getting pretty late" You huffed, pushing the stray hairs from your face.

"I'll return the truck tomorrow," you continued watching Carmy close the back doors of the truck.

You stood there looking at each other for a beat.

"I better head home," Carmy said, taking a few steps back.

"What? No- I owe you dinner. It's the least I could do", you crossed your arms, feeling the cold around you.

"You sure?" He checked, with his head down looking up through his lids.

With Chinese on your lap, you looked across to see Carmy lean up against one of your many boxes with his legs stretched out in front of him on the floor.

"You're right, it's pretty good," you hummed, enjoying the burst of flavor in your mouth.

Carmy nodded along, tucking into this food eagerly.

The apartment was mostly quiet with the odd random distant yell from outside, you presumed to be crackheads.

"I know you won't believe me, but I really do like this place" He looked up around your living room.

"The location is shit, but..."

"I know, but this place has potential." You smiled, finishing off his sentence.

"Yeah," He said in a soft tone, turning up the corners of his mouth.

His eyes lingered on yours for a moment. You traveled your eyes down his neck, chest, and down his arms.

You would be lying to yourself if you didn't notice his arms when he helped your lift heavy boxes. He refused to let you lift anything that he thought you might struggle with. He was considerate. Always thinking about you in a way that no one else would. Your friendship meant so much to you. In a moment like this, you felt that you might need his friendship a lot more than he might need yours.

Here you are, in Chicago. Working with one of your closest friends. Nothing else is here, only him. The vulnerability you felt in that moment, developed fear that you hadn't felt before.

"I can't believe you're actually here" Carmy spoke out, breaking your swirling thoughts.

"I know, it's just hitting me too," you said in a dissociated daze.

His eyebrows furrowed for a brief moment, wondering what you were thinking. Were you regretting your decision?

"I think you'll like Chicago," He said positively, keeping his eyes on you.

"Mhmmm," you murmured, your eyes glazed over and your mind in another world of your own.

"Y-you're not regretting your de-"

You snapped out of your trance and glanced over to Carmy to see his face covered in concern.

"No- no, no." You shook your head and smiled reassuringly.

He played with the food left over on his lap.

"Well... um.. you know I'm here, right?" He questioned.

"I know," you murmured, bringing your head down.

"I'm not goin' anywhere." He continued, leaning forward, trying to meet your eye line.

There was this sadness that you couldn't shake since getting here. You could feel it deep in your stomach. Was it anxiety? That reality has finally hit you in the face? The excitement that you felt earlier wasn't there and it worried you even more.

Carmy knew there was something up. You weren't present since you've arrived. It was a long few days for both of you, and it could have been exhaustion, but he didn't want to leave you alone. He felt guilty just walking away, especially when something was up.

You kept your head down, not wanting to make eye contact with him. You were afraid that if you did, you would completely break down and cry.

A moment later, you just heard him shuffle. You felt a warm hand on top of yours. You saw inked fingers grasp yours and a body of warmth wrapping you in a hug.

You couldn't hold back. You felt your tears spill over. You turned into his chest and buried your face into his white t-shirt.

"It's okay... you'll be okay. " He hummed and pressed you closer to him.

You sat there for a couple of moments. No other words were spoken. His embrace eased the anxiety that you were feeling. You had no idea what came over you. This was not the feeling you were expecting when first moving in.

You eventually pulled away, wiping your puffy eyes. Your face was red hot from all the crying.

"I-I'm sorry." You forced a smile on your face.

He looked at you with a comforting smile, his blue eyes flickering between yours.

"Don't be." He whispered, his arm still wrapped around you.

"I'm.... just glad to be here for you." His thumb caressed the back of your hand.

Both of you sat in your new apartment floor in between several boxes scattered. The apartment was cold and bare, but Carmy was radiating heat. You leaned into him with your legs against each other. You looked away from his kind blue eyes and sniffled. You wanted to savor this moment. The peace you felt with him.

Your soft hand under his rough fingertips made him realise that he would be happy staying like this all night. If you wanted him there, he wouldn't budge. His thoughts carried on from what your hand felt like to what maybe your lips would feel like. He could only imagine the tenderness he would feel against his.

What the hell is wrong with you?

She needs you. Don't fuck this up.

You eventually looked up at him again. Your eyes gazed at his beautiful messy hair, his fatigue blue eyes, and... his lips.

You went back to his eyes to catch him looking down at your lips. Your breath caught in your throat. Both of your eyes met in that second. Your faces inches away from each other.

Both of you scared to lean in. Both of you wanted it more than anything.

His rough fingertips grazing your cheek so lightly.

In that moment, you realized what you were risking. Did you really want to go down the same path you went down before? You move for a boy, fall for a boy... get hurt by a boy.

Carmy was all you got right now. You didn't want to risk anything that would make you lose that. As much you wanted to kiss him and give into every urge you had, the sting of your previous mistake was still there in the back of you mind. In this moment, you needed to take a step back before you did something you might regret.

You dropped your head not wanting to look into his eyes with what you were going to say next.

"Carmy...I-I can't," your voice barely audible.

"Fuck, I'm sorry- I don't..." He fumbled.

"I just... I've been here before. I can't make the same mistake,"

Carmy pulled away from you completely. His hands left yours, you felt the absence of heat immediately after he pulled away.

"I-I fucked up, I'm sorry" He shuffled to his feet.

"It's not that..." You tried to get words out, but before you knew it, Carmy had grabbed his jacket and was on his way out.

"Carmen," you sternly called out, getting up from the floor.

But the door was already shut. Your gut was twisting back and forth. You were so dazed on what just happened. It was too fast for you to even digest. You stood there for several moments trying to understand what was going on.

The last thing you wanted to do was hurt him. You felt your stomach churn realizing that you might have destroyed one of your closest friendships. You wanted him, you wanted to explain how you felt. You wanted him to convince you that you weren't making a mistake.

The deep feeling of anxiety in your stomach had emerged again, only this time much worse. As tears rolled down your face, you barely had the energy or will to tear the plastic wrapping off your mattress and root in the box, that was labeled 'bedding', to get a pillow and blanket. You let your body fall back on the mattress and instantly closed your eyes. This was suppose to be a new beginning in a new city. That clearly wasn't happening now that you've hurt one of the only people who you were close to in this city. The sirens in distance helped you phase into a deep sleep. Fatigue finally taking over your body. You didn't have any energy left to do anything else.

Carmy got back to his apartment, his stomach in knots. repeating the last moment he had with you. Remembering the pounding in his heart when looking into your eyes. Then, the sensation morphing into a sharp pain when you said his name in a negative tone.

He couldn't stop thinking about it over and over. He didn't even remember walking home. After you said his name, everything turned into a blur. The tone in your voice made him feel ashamed of himself. Were you disappointed in him as a friend when you needed him most? That you thought he was trying to take advantage of you at your most vulnerable? All these thoughts were whizzing around in his brain. His rational thoughts were no longer pushing through.

Should he have stayed to explain himself? Explain what he felt for you was something real that he's never had before. It's the surest thing that he has in his life right now, his feelings for you.

The last few days his thoughts made it plainly obvious that he wants to be more than friends. He was able to admire you when he usually couldn't. The everyday you. The you that was sleeping, eating, just living. He caught himself smiling to himself multiple times for no real reason. The only difference was, he was around you.

He kicked his shoes in the corner, dropping his jacket on the ground before dropping back on the couch. To say he was deflated was an understatement. The thought of seeing you tomorrow would usually make his pulse speedup but now, he felt a sinking feeling in his stomach.

He went through all the awful scenarios in his head. Were you going to ignore him? Or tell him to fuck off? Or tell him that you only ever saw him as a friend? Nothing else.

The last one drove a lump in his throat. He knew he wasn't going to get much sleep tonight. He didn't even care if he didn't. The only thing he wanted now was tomorrow to go by as fast and painlessly as possible.

Chapter 5

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Taglist: wabi-sabi1090

[hannibals-favourite-meal]

Ignorance is Bliss

Sam Winchester x plus size reader

Dean makes a startling discovery about his little brother’s love life and now he wants to wash his eyes out with bleach 

Warnings: implied smut, crack humour, Dean is done

WC: 797

Minors DNI

The world had seemed to have reached a state of calm. There were monsters, sure, but they were just the normal ones, no more of God’s siblings or corrupt archangels trying to write books, or even were-piers. Just regular old monsters.

And Dean was happy with that. Sam was safe, they had a home, and now one of their best friends was living with them permanently. They had movie nights and went out on adventures, they even had family dinners once a week like normal people! Everything was perfect!

Everything was awful!

Dean cringed as he cleaned out Baby. Months of living on the road definitely made the build up of trash a monumental effort to clean out. But he took it in stride, glad to be doing something as mundane as cleaning his car. Yet, he didn’t expect to find a pair of ripped and suspiciously stained panties. A pair of panties that he knew well because he actually enjoyed doing laundry. A pair of panties that belonged to-

“Y/N!”

“What!!” She shouted back at him, determined to not move from her comfy spot on the couch in the library, but after a few seconds of him not responding, she groaned and stood up. Sam glanced at her from over his book. 

“What does he want?” She shot him a glare.

“How the fuck should I know, he’s your brother.” 

“He’s your best friend.”

“Shut up Winchester.” She started walking from the room, taking unusually ginger steps with bowed legs. Sam chuckled and went back to his reading.

By the time she reached the garage, Dean had determined that he was going to kill her and then himself. Her because she obviously had sex in his Baby and himself because he had to clean up her mess. “What do you want Dean? I’m supposed to be having enrichment time.”

A bundle of pink fabric flew over the car and landed at her feet. So that’s where those panties went. “Yeah I don’t care about whatever book you were reading. YOU HAD SEX IN MY CAR!” His face was red and blotchy, his jaw ticking with anger. “Who did you sleep with?”

“You don’t wanna know.” She warned as she kicked the ruined underwear behind her. But that seemed to set the hunter off even more.

“Yes I do because they’re also going on my kill list.” She shrugged nonchalantly.

“Seriously man, you don’t want to know.” 

“Tell me!”

“Tell you what?” Sam evidently chose the exact right time to enter the garage behind Y/N, his brunette eyebrows scrunched in confusion.

“Who she got it on with in MY car so I can kill them!” His hazel eyes dropped to the concrete floor, spotting the garment that had sparked this whole debacle. Thin lips curled up into a truly wicked smirk and before anyone could react, Sam wrapped his arm around Y/N’s thick waist, tugging her into his side and said:

“I don’t think you want to kill your little brother, Dean.” And everyone froze. Y/N sighed deeply, already extremely fed up with her boyfriend, Sam’s grin kept widening as the look of horror on Dean’s face grew. And well, Dean also looked like he was about to have an aneurism.

His gaze flicked from Sam to Y/N, and then back to Sam, and then back to Y/N. “Son of a bitch! How long!” But that was most certainly a question he didn’t want answered, yet he still asked.

With a look of smug pride, Sam indulged him. “Seven months.”

“Seven months?!” A large hand slowly slipped from her hip, all the way down to her plump ass. Y/N shot him a glare but it’s not like that ever deterred the giant before.

“She’s never even slept in the room we gave her, and the key word there is slept.” He winked and Dean just about lost it.

“Shut up Sam.” He kept going.

“I’m surprised it took you this long to figure out. I mean we have had sex literally all over the bunker and pretty much all the motel rooms we’ve been in. Why do you think you caught me washing the dungeon at three in the morning?”

Apparently that was Dean’s last straw. “Right! You two are disgusting and I’m going to wash my eyes out with bleach and get blind drunk. When I wake up tomorrow, I will not remember this conversation and you will not remind me of it. Capiche?”

He stormed away but not before yelling over his shoulder. “And clean my fucking car!” There was a beat of silence and then Sam turned to his girlfriend.

“Wanna have sex in it before we clean it?” She shrugged.

“Why not, we’re both dead anyway.”

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[upon-a-starry-night]

Number Neighbors Pt.6

Natasha Romanoff x Fem! Reader

Natasha Masterlist       Series Masterlist

Word Count: 1.4k

Summary: When you catch sight of the newest trend going around you know you’re all but bound to at least try it, it was harmless anyway. What could possibly stem from something so little

~

Y/n🍦:

SO basically-

I was in my office when we got attacked,

My whole department started freaking out and running around.

Some dumbasses were even taking the elevators-

*You remember the moment so clearly. There were no big sounds or warnings, one second you were working your boring low-end job, and the next the woman in the cubicle next to you is screaming and pointing outside. Hoards of god knows what the fuck those things were began flying out and it’s like the world froze for a moment. A single moment of paralyzed silence.

And then all hell broke loose.

Some coworkers began hurriedly grabbing their bags, others just booked it straight to the nearest exit. You were on the fourth floor of the building. 

You were impressed with how fast this new group of enhanced individuals showed up but it was no match for the amount of fucking aliens spewing out of a goddamn space hole. One of your coworkers roughly grabbed your shoulder and began pulling you with them towards the stairs. You hadn’t even noticed you’d been stuck unmoving in front of the big glass windows until that moment. 

Your body finally caught up with the terror of what was happening and you began running down the crowded stairs as fast as you could- faster than you felt you’d ever run before.

No- the fastest you’d ever run was when the cops crashed the one college party your roommates had convinced you to go to. The smell of beer and vomit was burning your nose the whole time and you were almost relieved when you heard the sirens- only you weren’t too keen on getting arrested. Your 21st birthday was still two months away.

You supposed you would be running faster now if the sea of bodies wasn’t in your way. Frantic business women and men prevented you from going down the stairs more than two at a time. You contemplated just hopping the railing and falling the last two flights but no- if you sprained your ankles you couldn’t run away from the monsters.

That was when the first blast hit.

The whole building rumbled and screams emitted from both inside and out of the building. You knew it wasn’t your building that was hit- but the building next to you was too close to not do some damage. 

You almost wanted to laugh at the absurdity of the moment. This had to be some kind of crazy dream that was a result of those new melatonin gummies you were taking.

But when some random panicked escapee ran pasted you just a little too fast and you banged your head into the wall you knew it wasn’t a dream.

Shit, you probably had a concussion was the only thing you could think as you glared at the back of the fleeing man. If you ever got out of this apocalyptic ass shit you would get revenge on that random white guy in a black suit. Yeah fuck you were never gonna find out who that guy was. If you even made it out of here.

You shook the thought out of your head, a bad idea considering you were already dizzy and disoriented. 

Finally, though, you made it outside, and fuck if it wasn’t worse than it was when you last saw it upstairs.

Fire smoke was sprouting from nearly every building, car alarms and building alarms were blaring so loud you had to cover your ears. God the apocalypse was so not as aesthetic as all the tv shows made it look.

You watched as people screamed and ran in all directions, watched explosions erupt in the sky and an iron man zip past alien ships, and shit was that fucking Thunder!?

Rubble from an explosion nearby flew down towards you and you covered your head. God was this how you were going to die? You stared down at your hands, clean- if not a little calloused from working. Your gaze drifted towards the ground- the granite completely split in most places, ash and concrete littering the streets.

Your eyes were unfocused, and a ringing sound had begun to form in your ears, only occasionally disturbed by someone trying and failing to get a call to go through. Of course, there would be no cell service, you hadn’t even thought of that. You heard the sounds of screams get almost impossibly louder and when you lifted your head you knew why. For whatever beautiful reason, the universe decided a giant ass space worm was exactly what needed to come out of that portal right now. Everybody say “Thank You Universe!”

Your feet were running before your brain could tell them to. Your car, your mind screamed. You’ve got to get to your car.

You made it to your car, luckily still intact, and thank fuck you had your keys in your back pocket because if you didn’t you might have started crying. You touched your hand to your face.

 Oh. 

You already were.

You didn’t have time to dwell on it. You hopped into your car and began fumbling with the keys. Who made it so impossible to put your keys in the ignition when you were panicked and concussed?

It didn’t matter though, because two seconds later a giant ass alien landed directly on your hood. The damage looked deep enough to have crushed your engine. You briefly wondered if your insurance covered alien attacks.

Ugly rat alien decided to stab a spear through your windshield directly into your passenger seat and wow was that a threat or did these aliens have the aim of stormtroopers?

You were already beginning to process your death when five rounds of shots rang out and the beast on top of your car fell flat. Frankly, it was disgusting, and now its weird slimy pigskin body was closer to you than ever.You opened your car door coughing and that’s when you saw her. She glanced at the alien to ensure its death and then began surveying the nearby area, a few people paying her no mind and running right past her.

Good choice, you thought. She looked deadly. Deadly in the most gorgeous way that a woman could look deadly. The kind of look that made you want to become a supervillain just so she could glare at you and point a gun at your head.

It was completely unfair how good she looked considering the circumstances, and not only was she running on the battlefield she seemed to be taking part in it as well. 

Your moment of love at first save was quickly broken, however, as the woman presses a finger to her ear and mumbles a few words before running in the other direction. 

Your thoughts of her are interrupted by chunks of debris falling onto your car, you quickly jumped out of the way but- yeah there was no way insurance was covering that damage.*

You tastefully left out a few of those last thoughts when texting this story to Nat, she didn’t need to think you were a complete weirdo. Only a little one. 

                   Nat🔪:

Y/n🍦:

Yeah so I was close to death

on multiple accounts that night

#almostdiedthreetimes

You watched as the chat bubbles appeared and disappeared numerous times. You remember rendering your therapist speechless when you first told her as well. Although now they had an influx in patients and you were sure even the therapists were seeing therapists at this point. Therapist-seption.

Nat🔪:

So when you said you met an Avenger…

You rolled your eyes. Of course, someone who wears gray to bed would be analytical of your word choices.

Y/n🍦: 

Hey I was one of the first people to ever see

The famous Black Widow in action!

#Ilikedherbeforeitwascool

Nat🔪:

Alright enough with the hashtags.

And they were called the Chitauri 

By the way

Y/n🍦:

Chitauri- Rat alien

Battle of New York- Most traumatizing 

night of my life, literal hell on earth oh my god

Tomato- TomAto

Call ‘em what you want Nat.

You think the specifics matter in that situation?

Cause I sure as hell wasn’t thinking about

Being speciesist while I was running for my life🤠

Nat🔪:

Solid point.

So did insurance ever cover your car?

Y/n🍦:

Fuck no Nat.

This is corporate America

I got a copy-pasted apology email and a very

small amount of compensation money from

The state.

We Love America😍 🦅🇱🇷

Nat🔪:

That’s not an American flag…

Y/n🍦:

Fuck.

Pt7

Just so ya know this- 🇺🇸 is the American flag and this- 🇱🇷 is the Liberian flag!

Anyway, did we enjoy the trauma I wrote? ~Starry

------

Taglist

@romanoffsgal  @natsxwife  @la-douleur-ne-finit-jamais @moistblobfish 

[kirishimasbabygirl]

Dating Kirishima

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

A/N: Hey!!! I've been having Kirishima brain rot of months now so it's y'all problem now lol

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

He is the definition of a gentleman; he holds doors open for you, helps you up steps, and walks outside the sidewalk closer to the street.

The first time he took you out on a date, he almost threw himself across the hood of his truck to stop you from opening the car's door to get out.

"W-Wait holds on; I'll get it for you!"

He is so polite with your folks.

Tries real hard to impress them, brings flowers for your mama, and gives your pa a firm handshake and compliments that beat up on racing car his been "fixin' " for years.

He's shaking the whole time; you have to hold his hand to get him to relax.

"I just don't want to mess this up."

He LOVES to show you off.

He'll take you out and strut around with you on his arm like he won the lottery. (If you ask him, he'll say he did)

He was so excited for you to meet his friends he grew up with; he told you so many stories of them from high school you can't help but feel a little intimidated.

"Hey, look at me; they're going to love you, okay?"

And they do!

Mina and Danki would gang up on him and tell you the stupid shit he did when they were teens.

Sero would crack a joke at Kirishima's expense, and everything was fine!

You got along with everyone and felt really welcomed by them; the only one that worried you was Bakugou.

"Then he crashed his head through this guy's window-"

"H-hey! Maybe we don't let her that one."

He sat there all night quietly watching you and every move you made; it felt like he was staring you down by the time the two of you left.

Eijiro noticed how quiet you were returning to the house and asked what was wrong.

You told him you were worried about what bakugou thought of you; you know the two of them are best friends, and you didn't want to cause problems.

He stared at you in the corner of his eye and told you that you didn't need to worry about that.

Later that night, you heard him on the phone with the blond when he thought you had gone ahead and gone to sleep.

You could see a grin split across his face.

"So, what do you think about her?"

"She's nice, man. Sweet."

"Yeah? Yeah, she is; she's the best, bro. I mean, like, did you hear how she laughs? Oh god, don't get me started on her nose and -"

He could go on and on about how much he loves you to anyone who would listen.

The lady scanning his items at the store? He's talking about how his surprising you with your favorite ice cream.

The old woman his helping cross the street? He's talking about how cute you were playing with your little cousins at your last family reunion.

"I just love her so much."

He does adore you; you are his main drive in life, and he absolutely would do anything for you.

He once stopped what he was doing mid-guys night and RAN all the way home from across town because you called him that you watched a scary movie by yourself. You swear to god you saw something outside your window.

"Don't worry! I'm here!"

He's knocked motherfuckers out over you; one time at a club, your shared friend group dragged the two of you too, and he decided to hang back as Mina pulled you onto the dance floor.

He hung back with the boys and was shooting shots when he felt Katsuki nudge his arm; he looked up at his friend, whose eyes were glued on the dance floor.

He looked over to see these two guys pressed up against you, front and back, you clearly distressed, pushing on the guy in front of yous chest, while the guy behind you pressed up against you even more, sandwiching you between them.

He's never moved faster in his life; he flew out of his chair and was tearing them both off you before they could even open their mouths; he had them on the floor rumbling.

At some point, Katsuki, Kaminari, and Hanta, as well as Mina, had jumped in to whip their asses which caused all six of you to get kicked out.

You were apologizing the whole ride home when he pulled over and cupped your face.

"As long as I am alive, no one will ever touch you like that again."

And you believed him.

[mushroommanstan]

university!au please!! infamous!shiggy with average s/o 🤼‍♀️ pls i

Oh anon, how did you know I’ve been wanting to write a college au Shig for a while? You must be psychic or something, very impressive!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Creepy Tenko Part One:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anyways, I know you want the smut and shit but there’s a few things about Tenko that make him so infamous.

First off, his backstory. Basically, he was kidnapped by AFO as usual, but he was rescued by heroes this time a few months after. Unfortunately, a lot of damage had already been done.

The heroes were embarrassed as hell that they took so long to save him, and as a publicity act, paid to put him through elementary school, middle school, high school and hell even college. The big package.

Because of that, his entry was guaranteed since he was like 6. Obviously, this is gonna turn some heads.

Now this guy was infamous around campus for many reasons. For starters, growing up murdering his family and spending a summer with your local serial killer is gonna be the headline of his life. Everyone knows about that, and he doesn’t even deny it.

Also, because of that experience he has major ptsd and schizophrenia, causing a few tiny violent outbursts throughout his childhood. But it’s fine, he’s medicated now… most of the time.

He’s also very aloof, not talking to anyone if he can help it. He’s used to bullying, and at this point has pretty much given up making any friends. He’s so used to people being scared of him, just like his old master said, that he kind of embraces it, not even trying to hide when he stares at people for hours on end.

Oh yeah, and the stares. This guys got a dark ass aura. His blazing red eyes burn a hole in the back of the women he stares at. He’s a smart guy, he doesn’t need to pay attention to the whole lesson to get the gist. So lucky him, he can spend the rest of the class period staring at some chick while discreetly touching himself under the desk. Make eye contact with him if you dare.

The thing that completely tanked his reputation however, was when one guy got pissed at him for making goo-goo eyes at his girlfriend all day. He stopped him on his way to his dorm, punching him which made him stumble.

Something flew out of his hoodie pocket, and the man picked it up, students gathering around as he faced poor Tenko.

Tenko looked mortified, tears gathering in his eyes, but he wasn’t looking at his attacker. He was looking at his stolen object. The assailant hadn’t gotten a good look at what he was holding, and by the look on the freaks face it meant something to him.

The other students who gathered around screamed, some running to hurl in the nearby trash cans. When he finally looked at what he was holding it took him a good second to figure out what it was.

It was cold and grey. Fleshy with a golden back and… fingernails. Wait… was that… oh my god.

He yelled throwing the detached hand into the air, Tenko diving to catch it. He could feel himself losing control, his old senseis voice overtaking his brain and making his whole body shiver. He-he needed to calm down.

Tenko rose, pressing the cool hand into his face as he took deep breaths. He stopped trembling, and for a second, even with the screaming and yelling and trampling, everything was calm.

Obviously he got in trouble for having a murder scene victim’s body part in his possession, but Tenko knew from experience that no matter whatever bullshit they tried to scare him with, they couldn’t expel him.

He was like a mascot for the heroes’s new scholarship program. No way they would let him get expelled just because he kept a memento of his lost family. So, like always they payed them off. But the students remembered, and the guy who held the disembodied hand needed therapy.

So, not only was he a creep who got off to pictures of feet in the bathroom during homeroom, he also was a creep who kept a souvenir of his first murder victim with him at all times. Weird weird weird.

And then you came along.

He didn’t think much of you, that was, until you decided to sit down in one of multiple empty seats bordering his desk. No one ever sits this close.

Well… he had to admit… you were pretty. With your silky (h/c) hair, and your brilliant eyes, and your juicy, plump…. Eh-hum, personality.

He couldn’t stop himself from staring, not like he tried. You’ll learn soon enough that he’s a creep, and then he’ll be alone again. Yep. All on his own. Terrific.

His eyes bore into you, not just in one place but all over. Scanning over your body and memorizing every detail. From this close he could truly see how smooth and soft your skin was. And he could smell your perfume. What was that, lilac?

“Oh, do you like the perfume? I just got it! It’s lilac!”

Shit. You must have a mind reading quirk. He could feel his face growing bright red at the idea of you seeing the foul things he imagined in the last minute or so.

Truthfully you only knew because you could hear him sniffing the air like a puppy exploring a grassy field for the first time.

As the class went on you looked at him occasionally, not flinching whatsoever at the intense eye contact he returned. You had to admit… he was pretty cute. With eyes like those he should be the center of attention yet here he is sulking in the back of the class. Well, whatever, not your business.

The professor droned on about who knows what, making the both of you slump over your desks with boredom. You were praying for an oasis in the midst of this dry, dull desert of a classroom, when you heard a familiar sound.

Beep-boop, boop bleep!

You could recognize that sound anywhere! That was… that was…

You had to stop yourself from slamming your hands on the table in shock. The cute guy sitting next to you was playing the limited edition “Super Hero Adventure Deluxe” for the gameboy advance. (Not an actual game I think)

Aka, the only game in the Super Hero Adventure franchise you had yet to play. The one you had scoured EBay for forever. Holy shit, marry me!

You couldn’t help yourself, despite not knowing this guy in the slightest you pressed yourself into his shoulder, scaring the shit out of him and causing almost everyone to stop and look at you. You looked down at the pixelated screen, currently being death gripped by gloved hands as your cheek smushed against his fluffy black hair.

Tenko could feel his body shutting down from the inside. The sudden physical contact, the fact it was from a hot girl, and the realization she had an interest in his favorite game was all too much. Everyone watched as he pushed you away, screaming at you to stay away from him with some fairly colorful language.

Your expression darkened, and you grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. Having used to people tucking in their tail, he had to say he was not at all prepared for this. He didn’t actually want to fight you, he just wanted you to back off! … don’t make him fight you, you’re the first girl to touch him in years.

You both held intense eye contact for what felt like forever, but in reality was for only a second.

“You do not talk to me like that. Understand?”

Oh boy. Oh-ho-ho BOY you were awakening something in him he didn’t know he had. His face turned tomato red and his ire-filled glare turned into a soft gaze filled with child-like wonder. Not being able to speak he shakily nodded, hand raising up to feel along the one gripping his shirt. His fluffy hair bounced a little as he nodded.

You let go, returning to your seat with a huff and turned your head, and you were met with the utterly shocked faces of your classmates. They looked at you like you had just slain a dragon.

Meanwhile Tenko said nothing, face still completely red as his foggy mind spent the rest of class processing these new feelings that came up. The way you touched him, the way you scolded him! It was so… mean. So entitled. So dominant.

He wants more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Believe me, I will be doing a part two! Thanks again for the ask, it finally gave me the kick in the pants I needed to write this!

[endmylifelad]

Dick, struggling to get up from medical cot: I can’t *grunt* I can’t stay here

Dick, managing to barely stand up: Wally… needs me. Wally needs me.

*Door opens with someone clearing their throat*

Jason: Dick?

Dick: Jason? What are you doing here?

Jason: I was under the impression that you- that is- what I mean to say is, ahem, Tim told me you fell through a burning bridge and are currently on your deathbed

Dick: god damnit Tim- well Jason, as you can see, I am perfectly fi- *proceeds to violently cough* fine. Fine. I’m fine.

Jason: …

Jason: that’s it?!

Dick: what?

Jason: I dropped my mission that I have been working my ass off on for months, and immediately hopped on a jet and flew 16 hours to come see you! I was under the impression that in true Dick fashion, you died doing something incredibly stupid!

Jason: I thought you were dead, Dick…

Dick: …

Dick, stands up and places hand on Jason’s shoulder: Jason…. I thought you were dead for six years. Six whole years!

Dick: so why don’t you, just build a bridge, and get over it.

Jason: wh- if I did, you’d just fall through it!

Dick, never had been so offended in his life: ( ಠ▃ಠ)

[spikedhe4rt]

can you please write a johnny cade smut with praise? thank you!

Johnny Cade x Reader

Word Count: 1063

It was the night of Johnny and I's anniversary, so I wanted everything to be special and go right. Johnny admitted to me that he was a virgin, months prior. I wanted him to feel like he can be vulnerable around me and trust me enough to share a romantic moment like this.

We ended going to dinner at the dingo, sharing a burger, fries, and our favorite milkshake. After that, we headed to my house for the rest of the night. I led him up to my room and sat on the bed, motioning to him to follow. Once he joined me, I gave him a kiss then pulled away to say, "I really love you Johnny"

His eyes widened slightly, and he gave me loving smile, "I love you too, Doll"

We both began to lean in because it felt right. He lightly pushed me down on the mattress, my back hitting my comforter. Johnny leaned down into me to kiss my lips again. We began to make out softly as we grinded against each other. I moaned as one of his motions rubbed me just right.

"Johnny!" I whined lowly. He smirked at me, peppering my neck in kisses, "Yea?"

"I love you and I want you tonight" His eyes became slightly worried as he sat up. I sat up after him confused, "Baby what's wrong?" He looked at me "What if I'm not good enough for you"

I gave him a deep kiss, "You'll always be good enough for me and I know you can be a good boy for me tonight. He let out a low groan before eagerly starting to remove my shirt. He began to run his lips and tongue on my breasts, biting occasionally. I whimpered, "Oh Johnny"

He then kissed down my body, stopping at my skirt, "Can I taste you, please?" I gave him a small nod before squeezing his hand. He proceeded to pull down my skirt till it hit the floor. He rubbed me over my lace underwear before pulling them to the side to see how wet I was, "My good girl is so wet for me, huh?" He's so sexy like this. I whimpered and said, "Yes Johnny, all for you!"

He hummed and pulled my underwear to the side; he began to kitten lick my clit. I moaned loudly in response. Johnny brought up two fingers, prodding them at my entrance before pushing them in fully. He smirked at my blissful reaction, "You make such pretty sounds for just fingers, can't wait to hear the ones for my cock" I groaned loudly at his praise.

He began to suck my clit harshly, stimulating me in multiple ways. He removed his fingers, making me whimper at the loss. He quickly replaced them with his tongue, causing me to cry out, "Johnny, don't stop, please!" He hummed, sending vibration up and down my whole body, "I wasn't planning on its pretty girl. You look so pretty when I'm eating you out" He continues his assault on my clit making me moan loudly again. He inserts his fingers into me again. Thank God, my parents left already.

I begin clenching around his fingers and grinding myself against his hand in desperation. He gave my ass a light tap in response " you like when a finger-fuck you huh? now keep being a good girl and cum for me." I felt myself get closer and closer from his words. He started to thrust his fingers hard and fast, hitting my g-spot every time.

I felt like I was in heaven from the pleasure he was giving me. I began to squirm from my upcoming orgasm, but he gripped my thighs tightly. I felt my orgasm come over my whole body as began to shake and moan loudly. My hands flew to Johnny's hair, keeping him in place as he continued to eat me out through my high. He then sat up and brought his fingers to my mouth, tapping them on my lips for entry. "Yea that's it, take them like a good girl from me"

I sucked on them harshly, swirling my tongue on the taste of myself. I pulled johnny down to my level and kissed him hard. He pulled away to undress himself. After he finished, he started to walk over to me. He gave me another kiss before rubbing his tip against me, nudging my clit. My mouth flew open into an "O" shape, "Johnny please, I want your cock.

He gave me a nod before starting inch into my entrance, making me whimper loudly. He groaned loudly as bottom out, "You feel so good baby, best pussy I swear!" He began to slowly thrust into me, making me moan. His thrust became faster, making me breast bounce with every one of them.

He used one of his hands grab my breast, tweaking my nipple and adding to me pleasure. He then brought his free hand up to my neck and squeezed lightly. He made me see stars and silently scream. He noticed me expression and smirked, "Is my good girl going stupid? You look so nice and pretty, waiting for me to fill you up."

I clenched at his words receiving groan in response. He started to thrust harder, our skin slapping together repeatedly. My toes curled at the sensation, feeling the euphoria. Johnny brought his hand down from my breast to my clit, starting 8-figures on it. I silently screamed and moaned repeatedly.

I felt my orgasm approaching as Johnny hit my sweet spot inside me. Johnny began squeeze my throat harder as he increased the speed of his thrusts. He threw his head back as clench on him, "You're squeezing me so good baby, God, I love you so much." I grinded down meeting his thrust whimpering at the contact, "I love you so so much" I slurred completely cock drunk.

I repeatedly clenched around him, tear prickling me eyes as reached my peak, "Johnny m'cumming" He let out a low moan, reaching his climax soon after me, "Yea, that's right, cum all over my cock, my pretty girl."

He pulled out of me, tired and out-of-breath "Thank you doll, I love you so much" I giggled at his sweetness and gave him a passionate kiss, "I love you too, Johnny Cade."

Best Anniversary Ever!

[leechanpremacy]

People You Know

After the death of his wife, he starts a whole new life in a whole new city with his three year old twins only to meet someone from his past. What a way to start something new, right?

pairings: psychiatrist!jeonghan, parent!jeonghan x doctor!reader petowner!reader

tags: fluff, crack, slow burn, exes to lovers, romance, angst (if you think into it really deeply), swearing, inaccurate medical jargons + medications

word count: 2k

tag list: @sadgirlroo @loyard176 @fragmentof-indifference

notes: i’ve been dreading to write jeonghan as a parent of twins, now having the motivation and inspiration to write the plot, IM ON CLOUD NINE!!! lmao i’m also planning on posting this as an au on twitter if time, and motivation persists as my alter ego’s such a lazy ass bitch that takes at least half a month to find motivation to do updates on on-going twitter series’ THIS might also be turned in to a series (fuck, my mingyu series long forgotten 💀)

two | masterlist | four

three.

Sighing for the last time as you close your eyes as you rubbed your temples, “No, no. It’s okay. It’s your first time encountering the fluctuation. Just take note of what I said.” You softly explained to the resident doctor, hanging his head low.

After a few more apologies from the resident doctor, you went to the hospital cafeteria to buy coffee.

“No, just bring her back home tomorrow. I won't return, I'll be on stand-by for now.” Reaching out your card to pay for your food as you continued to talk with Dino on the phone. 

Shaking your head as you dropped the call, you went back to your room to work on some cases that you were handling.

"Sure, I can take a quick visit there. Yeah, yeah. So I can also see if I'd want a thing or two in my room. Hmm. Would it be possible to tag my children along? Alright, thank you so much." Pressing the end button, Jeonghan quickly made his way back to their couch. Calling his twins that were focused on watching television, "Dada's going out, who wants to come?" 

Whipping their heads in unison, both breaks in to a smile and raised their hands as they both yelled "Me!"

"Well, yeah. That's pretty much it. You can have a quick call with my department through the nurses' station since the telephone here has been disconnected for a while now." With a few more reminders, Jeonghan bid the staff goodbye before wandering his eyes around his new office.

It was still bare, but it was left clean. It was probably taken good care of the cleaning department.

"Is this your room, dada?" Jeonghan nodded, brushing his daughter's cheeks out of fondness. "Dada room, big!" Giving out big hand gestures as his son's eyes sparkle.

"Is it?" He asks, earning high-pitched yes from them.

He was watching his children with a fond gaze when the speaker blasted the emergency sound. Acting out of impulse, he quickly stood up, almost startling his twins as he reached for his chest pockets - only to find out that he wasn't in his coat and that he is now a psychiatrist, not an intern. Laughing at his actions, he looks down at his twins that froze as they looked at him with wide eyes, "Sorry angels," He coos, crouching down to hug his twins, giving them both quick and light kisses on the cheek.  

"The patient is currently having an episode!" The nurse quickly calls. You paid no mind to her direction as you pulled out your pen to see the dilation of the patient. "What was the last dose given to him?" Abruptly pocketing the pen as you reached for the patient's chart to see what the medication was. But you heard no one answer you the moment you saw what was written in the chart.

"Give him Ketoconazole," Swiftly making your way towards the designated stool for your patient to grab a medication safe for both seizures on intoxication and withdrawal reactions on renal transplantations and Ketoconazole.

The nurse practically flew as she came back with the medication as she reached for you the vial. You tilted it carefully, extracting the right dosage before pushing the solution out of the syringe.

You felt your shoulders relax as you watched the patient slowly recover from the seizure. Taking in a deep breath as you held your forehead, "Did the patient gain consciousness earlier?" You asked voice strained from the tension you didn't realize earlier.

"Yes, Doc." You could notice the quiver in her voice, but you were too stressed to open your eyes and lift your head. "How about visitors? Did he have any?" You didn't hear her answer, causing you to let out a breath.

Lips pursed, you looked at the nurse that looked at you nervously. "I... I wasn't on duty earlier..."

You tried to control your voice, not wanting to take it out on the poor girl. "Who was it?" The nurse answered in a low voice, "It was Nurse Anna..."

You couldn't help but laugh emptily. "Nobody was available to guide her?" Your brows furrowed as the corners of your lips curved downward. "No wonder nobody informed me about the patient gaining consciousness earlier."

The silence stretched for a few more minutes before regaining your composure, "You can go," you called he nurse before she could reach the door, "And can you please inform the guardian about what happened? I'll monitor him for a while. I'll wait for them here."

After checking his watch for the nth time, "Let's go home?" Thinking the emergency has dissipated already.

Holding their hands with both of his hands, they walked along the hospital corridor. From there, he saw a familiar figure trying to talk with a hysterical person. He could visibly see the frustration on the Doctor's face but kept a straight face as she continuously opened her mouth.

For one, he could be an ignorant person and lead his children the other way, avoiding such conflict that his children can witness. Two, he could retreat back to his bare office and tell his children to behave as if he'll do something real quick - to which he did the latter.

He told his twins to behave while he was gone, or else they won't get desserts for dinner.

When he reached them, the guardian was still arguing, "Why would you let some airheaded nurse watch my husband?! I pay this hospital fortunes so he could recover! Not the other way around!"

For the nth time, you sighed deeply, lips pursed tightly as you fight the urge to roll your eyes at the guardian. "We apologize for the incident Mrs. Nam. It is an honest mistake on our part. We will be held accountable for the incident.-"

 "No! Being held accountable won't make my husband recover from almost passing?! This is malpractice! I will sue this hospital!"

Eyes enlarging at the statement, "Mrs. Nam-" 

"Ma'am, you should watch your words." A voice interfered causing both you and Mrs. Nam to look at the owner of the voice. "Jeonghan," You called, he briefly looked at you, nodding his head whilst scrunching his nose in acknowledgment.

"If you sue the hospital Ma'am, Doctor Y/L will still be held accountable and you will receive some sort of compensation. However, if you'll lose, not only will you pay for her legal bills, but your husband could possibly be forced to move to another hospital." You wanted to interject with his claim but as soon as you saw Mrs. Nam halt from her position, you kept your mouth shut and watched them talk.

"Sorry to intrude, but I am from Wen's Law Firm." Handing a business card to Mrs. Nam. "I may not be a lawyer or Attorney but I still know the law, Ma'am." He says, shocking you.

'Didn't he dreamt of being a lawyer..?' You thought, confusion painting your face.

With a few more convincing words, Mrs. Nam finally calmed down and conceded the argument. Hanging your head low as your buck hunched from tiredness, "Thank you for that Jeonghan," Lifting your head as your brows slanted, "But you didn't have to scare her like that."

He chuckles, "I saved you from that and all I get is nagging?" You couldn't help but shake your head with a small smile, "I meant, the suing thing. You didn't have to brag and lie about that. Plus, you don't work on that Firm anymore, you could get sued for breach of contract or something?"

"No, I won't." Keeping his smile, "I worked with Jun's Law Firm, he wouldn't mind it if I used the name for you." You felt your breath hitched as you fluttered your eyes on his words. Too surprised at the tender look he gave you.

Disregarding the warm feeling that was creeping out your face, "What're you doing here by the way? I thought you'll start in October?" You could see the surprise on his face, making you giggle. It reminded you of how he was always shocked hearing sweet words leave your lips.

"I checked my office. Would you like to see it? The twins are there," You wanted to decline, but the way his eyes largen as they began to sparkle, you didn't have the heart to say no to him.

"Say hi to your Aunt Y/N," Warm greetings followed by cute smiles were flashed in front of you. "Hi," You crouched to their level, patting both their heads which caused them to giggle at you.

"So how's the room so far?" You ask, before removing your gaze on his twins to look at him. You were expecting him to answer immediately but he wore this dazed look as he watched you with his children. It didn't make you uncomfortable, but it made you grimace at the thoughts that flashed through your head.

You wondered, 'Did he remember us?' Displeased at your own thought, you brushed your coat, as you stood up, breaking eye contact with him.

"What was that again?" You repeated your question, "Oh, I guess there's nothing more to add. I got the essentials already. Probably the telephone connection, but aside from that, I'm fine with what they offered now."

You now started to wander around, with the twins sitting on the desk as their eyes followed you around. You tried your best to look interested in every object in his office just to avoid his eyes.

You're scared to see memories flashing back in your mind.

"How 'bout a snack corner? So your twins could be entertained when you bring them here." You could hear a creak but were too afraid to look. "I don't really plan on frequently bringing them to work. I don't want them to see hysterical episodes when I work with patients." He languidly says. You could imagine him leaning on a wooden desk or something with his arms crossed around his chest. You could also feel his gaze on you.

"Makes sense." Clicking your tongue, "Dada what is hystercal.. Episode?" One of the twins asks making your ears perk up, awaiting his answer. "It's cartoon! Dada, Yejun, right?!" You couldn't help but grin at the twins' understanding, you were even tempted to peek at their reaction, imaging their eyes bulging, similar to how Jeonghan does when he tries to prove his argument.

"No, angel. It's not cartoons." He says, "It's something only big boys and girls understand." He coos, earning tiny groans from the two. "But Dada! Me, Yejun! Already four!" You were now watching them, Yuna flashing five fingers to Jeonghan, trying to prove a point.

Softly smiling, "Angel, that is a five. And you two are still three." He fondly says, brushing his daughter's hair, trying to soothe her grumpiness.

"But, Uncle Cheol said Yejun, Yuna is big already!" A pout was evident on Yejun's face, making Jeonghan grin before pinching his cheeks lightly.

"You have a lovely family Jeonghan," You unconsciously say, causing Jeonghan to glance at you.

The smile on his face grew even more as his eyes settle on the twins, "They're the sweetest."

"Yeah, I'm sure both you and your wife raised them well."

"You fucking didn't tell me Jeonghan's widowed!" You whispered-yelled at Dino through the phone. You could hear faint chuckles, most probably coming from Hoshi. Oh God, you could already imagine his annoying ass on your face, saying 'I told you you'll come around!'

"Well, we thought you didn't want to know! You were adamant back then that you didn't want to hear anything from him! Heck, even if he was still breathing, you didn't want to know!"

Pursing your lips for the nth time, "Are you guys still not finished camping?" The change in your tone probably ticked the guys the wrong way as you heard shuffling from the other line. "We'll be there in an hour." Ending the call as you entered Doctor's cave.

You were now getting lost in your thoughts, piling questions on your mind that wants to be answered. You didn't want to trouble anyone with the thoughts popping into your head, but the urge to call any of Jeonghan's or any of your friends related to Jeonghan aside from the three idiots was growing.

[writingforstraykids]

Addicted to you Chp.21

Pairing: Minchan (mention of OT8)

Word Count: 4613

Summary: Chan and Minho organize a long break for the whole group, knowing they all need one after these troubling times. Five months later, Chan gets a taste of Minho in his best form, and he couldn't be more proud.

Warnings/Tags: fluff, cuddles, smut, min is insecure about his weight gain, small misunderstanding, the boys are in love

Chp. 20 | Back to the beginning

A/N: Thank you to everyone who made it this far and enjoyed the story. Thank you for the lovely requests and comments, they made the whole process so much more fun. My first Stray Kids project is officially "done". As always, I am open to writing more as long as you have concrete wishes and ideas. I've enjoyed writing this series a lot, delving a little more into the aspects of their hidden relationship, the insecurities and challenges that come with that, and so on. So please, if you'd like more, maybe also about the other pairings in this specific setting, don't hesitate to let me know - Nat🖤

Setting fire to my already tamed feelings Don't make me bad, bad Addicted to you Once we've started, you must be mine Addicted to you - Lee Know, Felix & Hyunjin

“I need a break,” Chan announced to the room. Everyone stared at him, surprised but curious about the sudden confession. Everyone just finished lunch and gathered in the living room to relax. 

“Uh, thanks for the warning?” Felix chuckled.

“We all do,” Chan continued on. The boys began to share confused expressions. “We’ve been working our asses off ever since Minho came back. None of us has had time to rest.”

“That’s true,” Changbin nodded.

“I talked to our management and got us all a month off,” he said and smiled as they all looked at him with a mixture of shock and excitement. “I want you all to go home for a while. Check in with your families, spend some time with them. I’ll be leaving a few days earlier than you all. I promised my mum to stay with them for a while after they found out most of what happened through our recent interviews. If you’d like, we could still go on vacation together during the last week. Maybe you all could come to Australia again.”

“That was quite fun,” Jeongin nodded excitedly. 

“And they approved all of us leaving for a month?” Jisung asked, stunned.

“It took some work,” Minho admitted. “But we’ve told them that the past few months have been too much not only for Chan and myself. I, more or less, let them know that they’d have to deal with more public breakdowns if we wouldn’t get a break soon,” he laughed. 

“Which was quite convincing, apparently,” Chan giggled. “So vacation starts in two days. Felix, you’ll still have to attend that fashion event in four days, but then you’re free to leave.”

“Sounds good to me,” Felix smiled excitedly. He couldn’t wait to go back home for a while. “My parents would love to see you guys again.”

“My mother hasn’t been talking about anything else since I suggested it,” Chan snorted.

“As long as she makes us that amazing dinner from last time again,” Hyunjin grinned.

“I bet she will,” Seungmin laughed.

"Australia it is then," Minho nodded, chuckling at his friends. As everyone continued the conversation, his heart warmed seeing the people he loved most…happy. 

-

Chan had been gone for a week now. Everyone else, besides Felix and Minho, left for home two days ago. Minho decided to stay with Felix before he flew to Australia so he didn’t have to stay at the house all by himself. 

“How’s Chan?” Felix asked one evening as they sat together on the sofa. 

“He’s having a bit of a hard time, I think,” Minho told him. “His parents are still really worried. His sister was pretty pissed he didn’t tell her how he was feeling instead of having to find out through the interviews.”

“She’ll calm down in a few days,” Felix chuckled. 

“That’s what I told him,” he nodded, but a slight unease still lay in his tone. 

“But?” Felix asked, picking up on it.

“You know Chan, he always gets a little depressed without us there,” he shrugged and leaned back. “He keeps telling me how much he misses me. He never did that before either. It’s not like we haven’t been apart for this long before,” he giggled softly.

“You never meant this much to him before,” he reminded him kindly. 

“Fair point,” Minho sighed, closing his eyes for a moment.

“I have an idea,” he told him excitedly. “You’ve just visited home, and you always visit your parents after therapy. I bet they wouldn’t mind if you’d come with me instead.”

“To Australia? So early?” he asked, opening his eyes to give Felix a confused look. 

“Yeah. I always book two seats to have some peace during the flight so I can take you with me easily,” he told him. “We could surprise Chan with you just showing up at the front door.”

Minho giggled softly. “That would actually be fun.”

“Come on, call your mum. I’m sure she’d agree,” he laughed.

Minho quickly grabbed his phone, calling his mother. “Hi, mum,” he said cheerfully. “I have a question,” he got straight to the point, putting her on speaker. But there was no response, to Minho’s disbelief. “Mum?” he called out with a small whine, a cute pout beginning to rest on his lips.

“You’ll be leaving for Australia early?” she asked, laughing as Minho gasped.

“How the hell did you guess that?” he asked, stunned. Felix started laughing at him in the background.

“Oh please! You were talking about your boyfriend nonstop when you came over last week. Also, you’ve been visiting here so often now that I knew you wouldn’t feel bad not coming to stay with us for a few weeks,” she laughed. “I bet he really misses you, Min.”

“He does,” Minho nodded.

“You should go,” she told him kindly. “Felix?” she asked, quickly identifying him by his cheerful laugh. 

“Yes?” he asked politely. 

“Take care of him on that flight, yeah?” she asked. 

“Of course I will,” he promised. “I’ll bring him back to you safely.” Minho’s mom gave her goodbyes and ended the call. 

Minho smiled widely and pulled Felix into a warm, gentle hug. “Thank you, Felix.”

Felix nodded and hugged Minho, squeezing him tightly. “Of course, Minho.”

-

Chan was still lying in bed, scrolling through his phone and trying to stay awake. He tossed and turned all night, and the lack of sleep was trying to lure him back into a deep slumber. He yawned softly and stretched his tired body. He began smiling as he heard the small patter of his dog coming down the hallway and into his room, hopping on the bed. “Hi Berry,” he said softly.

“Chris?” his mother called out for him from downstairs.

“Yes mom?” he shouted back, not really feeling like moving. 

“Someone’s here to see you,” she said. “Can you come down here for a moment?”

He groaned softly. If his mother asked in that tone, he was sure it was a friend of theirs wanting to see how their idol son was doing, maybe even collecting a few autographs on the way. “Fine,” he groaned, quickly pulling a sweater over his head to cover his naked chest. He walked down the stairs, not noticing the person standing next to his sister with a grumble to himself. “I swear if this is another - Minho?!” he asked, his jaw dropping as he finally looked up at the visitor in question. 

“Surprise?” he asked gently. Before he knew it, Chan was in his arms, lifting and spinning him around. “Channie, nooo” he giggled, wrapping his legs around his waist. “I just stepped off the plane, go easy on me!”

“What the hell? Why didn’t you tell me you were coming? I could’ve picked you up from the airport,” he pouted, a whine can be heard through his tone. 

“Hannah did,” Minho said gently. Chan looked at her surprised, not believing she was in on the surprise. “Felix had an extra seat, and we decided to surprise you.”

“When do you leave?” he asked.

“Whenever you leave,” he told him. Chan’s smile widened. Minho laughed as he put him back down on the ground and hugged him tightly. 

“And where will you be staying?” he asked, still not fully grasping that he was actually there.

“Here, you dumbass,” Hannah told him, rolling her eyes at him.

“Your mum said it would be alright,” Minho said gently.

“Of course it is!” she assured him with a bright smile. “You’re always welcome here, Minho.”

“Thank you,” he smiled at her. Chan couldn’t help himself anymore and kissed him passionately, pulling him in close. Minho grunted softly, but returned the kiss happily. He pulled back and stared at him, a bit dazed. “I suppose you told them about us?” 

“Obviously,” Chan laughed.

“I told him fighting to get you back to the group was the one thing he did right the past few weeks,” Hannah said teasingly. 

Minho giggled softly and pulled her into a hug. “I missed you too, little sister,” he said fondly. “But don’t be too hard on him, alright? I wasn’t exactly easy to be around either.”

“Fine,” she rolled her eyes, but they knew she meant well. Minho was always fond of Hannah since the day they met. 

Minho smiled at Chan and reached out for him, grabbing his hand. “I think I need a nap.”

“That’s the jetlag,” he chuckled. “I had another shitty night myself, let’s go.” Minho followed him upstairs to his room, giggling as Chan threw the door closed and kissed him needily. “Fuck, I missed you, baby.”

“I missed you too, love,” he said softly, wrapping his arms around his neck. “So, so much.” Chan buried his face in his shoulder, hugging him even tighter. “Are you okay?” his voice laced with care and warmth, fondling his hair. 

“Yeah,” he whispered, hot tears burning in his eyes. 

“Channie?” he asked gently, pulling back a little and lifting his face. “Oh, angel,” he whispered.

“I really fucking missed you, that’s all,” he assured him.

“You’re so cute,” he told him, pressing their foreheads together. “I’m here now. I won’t stop getting on your nerves for a whole month,” he smirked. “There’s no staff to stop us either. And the others get here in three weeks.”

“Sounds perfect,” he smiled and brushed their noses together. “Just you and me.”

“Mhm, just you and me, Channie,” he smiled softly, cupping his face and kissing him gently. The two almost got lost in their embrace, until Minho pulled back to speak. “Uh, before I forget, my therapist asked if you’d like to join the next session?”

Chan frowned softly at the request. “Why?”

“She thinks it’ll be easier to work through certain things that happened with you there. Like collapsing on stage and getting to the hospital after. I don't have many memories of that night,” he shrugged. 

“Alright, sure thing,” he nodded. “Now let’s get some sleep.”

Five months later

Minho looked at himself in the mirror, carefully fixing his hair. He was wearing a perfectly fitted dark suit that hugged him in all the right places, the vest painted with blue stripes. A delicate necklace rested on his skin, and a ring on each hand completed the look. The one on his right ring finger being a present from his boyfriend. The color definitely complimented his dark hair. He crouched down a little, testing his trousers, which were a little tight. 

"Minho hyung, what are you doing?" Felix laughed at him, leaning against the vanity not too far from him. He was walking around looking for his friend, just to make sure he was doing okay. 

Minho met his eyes through the mirror and started to laugh as well. "I'm scared I'll rip them. They're not the best fit for this dance." 

Hyunjin looked up from his phone, sitting comfortably on a nearby couch. "I bet Chan wouldn't agree with you on that." 

Felix grinned and made his way over, taking a closer look. "I think you look stunning. Time to tease your boyfriend." 

Minho chuckled at them and playfully rolled his eyes. "Don't think Changbin won't drool over you either," he winked at him, making the younger one blush. "Oh wait, we have another style expert right here. Doesn't our sunshine look handsome, Hyunjin?" he asked the younger male and turned Felix in his direction. 

Hyunjin smirked and put his phone aside. "What do you think made him blush so hard a minute ago?" 

"Oh, I see," Minho chuckled. Hyunjin got up and made his way over, gently grabbing Felix's chin and looking deep into his eyes. The shiteating grin on his face not leaving for a second as his gaze devoured Felix. Minho sensed it and took note. "That's my que to leave. Remember, we have to be on stage in ten minutes. I don't want either one of you to go out there hard."

Felix quickly grabbed Minho's hand and held him back. "If you leave, he won't stop being a tease. I’ll definitely be in trouble then." Felix pleaded with the cutest pout on his lips.

Minho giggled softly and stayed where he was, taking out his phone. With a chuckle, Hyunjin decided to have mercy on Felix and gave him a sweet, loving kiss. Meanwhile, Minho saw a few messages from Chan pop up and smiled stupidly, reading them. 

I’m so proud of you, baby! You’re gonna be amazing out there. Good luck!

Minho texted a few hearts back and chuckled as Chan asked for a picture. He told him he had to see his reaction live, which made Chan send a bunch of emojis. "Alright, let's go," he said, putting his phone aside. 

The three of them made their way to the side-stage and looked into the audience. "That's a lot of people out there," Felix whispered. The older two took his hands, squeezing them encouragingly. 

"Perfect audience to perform this song for, for the first time ever," Hyunjin told him, winking cheekily at him. 

"Look, there’s Channie and the boys," Minho said, pointing at the first row a little to the right. Chan and Changbin were sitting next to each other, almost placed perfectly in his opinion, to watch Felix and himself. Jisung, Seungmin, and Jeongin were sitting next to Chan, all waiting curiously for their friends to come on stage. They began to walk out on stage as their names were announced and smirked at the screams, combined with Chan's eyes widening seeing his outfit. They both knew Chan was a sucker for him in blue. The lights only increased the effect. 

As they waited for the music to start, Minho met Chan's eyes and teasingly opened his suit jacket with a winning smirk, putting the ring on display. He had trouble holding back a grin as Chan licked his lips. The fans started cheering at his action, and Minho turned his attention to the audience. He chuckled into the microphone and did it again, this time for the audience, before getting shy at the screams and smiling brightly, looking down at the floor. Felix and Hyunjin giggled at his antics, trying to stay serious themselves. 

Changbin and Chan exchanged a look, knowing the other probably had the same impure thoughts about his boyfriend. "Fuck me," Chan breathed out quietly, and Changbin chuckled at him. 

"I'm sure he would if you'd ask nicely," he grinned and earned a punch in his arm. The others laughed at them, not needing to hear them to know what they were talking about. 

The music started, and Minho locked in, starting to move to the beat. It was kind of funny that not even their members knew what they were in for. The moment Felix's beautiful, deep voice rang through the air, the fans started shouting, and honestly, he didn't blame them. Minho started his verse, and to his surprise, he got about the same reaction to his smooth, soft voice. A rush of adrenaline filled him, and he knew he was performing well, judging by the looks of his members as he danced during Hyunjin's part. Minho took a deep breath and casually strolled to the side before starting to sing the higher notes, hitting them all beautifully making the crowd go wild once more. Chan beamed at him proudly, knowing how hard he had worked to perfect that part. 

Chan was mesmerized, looking up at his boyfriend on stage in awe. He looked beautiful in this outfit, and his heart warmed seeing him wearing the ring he bought him. His voice sounded amazing tonight, and his stage presence was undeniable. Thinking about it, Chan couldn't remember ever seeing him so in his element like this, which meant a lot, considering Minho was their main dancer. 

What didn't help was watching the way his body moved in front of thousands of people and knowing how he looked beneath the many layers of fabric. Chan did, in fact, appreciate the tight suit pants, and his jaw dropped as he got down on the floor, rolling his hips with his hand placed dangerously close to his crotch. Jisung nudged him gently, and he quickly closed his mouth again, shifting a little in his seat. 

Minho moved into a sitting position, continuing his dance movements. His intense gaze locked into Chan’s, captivating him as he continued singing. "Don't make me bad, make me bad, I'm addicted to you….Don't make me bad, bad, addicted to you." 

Chan's eyes clouded with desire the longer he watched him. He couldn't help himself feeling like Minho put on a perfectly balanced show for him and their fans. 

The performance came to an end, and they took their ending pose. Minho panted softly before meeting eyes with Chan and smirking succeedingly, knowing exactly how much he had just worked him up. He exchanged a look with Felix and Hyunjin before they all left the stage, waving at their cheering fans and friends. 

They made their way back to their room and weren't even able to sit down as their friends and boyfriends stepped inside. Minho's eyes widened at how loud the room suddenly was, and laughed at their friends, telling them how amazing their performance was. Locking eyes with Chan made him shiver with anticipation. Chan simply nodded at the door before leaving again. Minho slipped outside as the others were busy and frowned softly when Chan was nowhere to be seen. He walked down the hallway, and a door to his left opened. Chan grabbed his wrist and pulled him inside, throwing the door closed again. Minho found himself pressed against the door within seconds, and a low moan fell from his lips as Chan braced himself next to his head, looking down at him with nothing but desire in his eyes. "Hi there," he said innocently. "You liked the performance?" 

Chan grabbed his chin and searched his eyes. "You think it's funny making me hard in front of I don't know how many people?" 

"You…wow," he grinned proudly. 

"Don't look so smug," Chan giggled and groaned softly, pressing their foreheads together. "Fuck, you looked hot up there, baby."

"Thank you," he smiled sweetly and nudged his nose. "What's the secret room reserved for you only about?" he asked, spotting the name sign on the desk right in front of the mirror. Catching his reflection, he had to admit he was looking great tonight, even now that his hair was a bit of a mess. 

"So I can kiss you without anyone seeing, of course," Chan answered casually. 

"Oh," he nodded and couldn't help but feel a little disappointed. 

"You sound like that's a bad idea," he commented, frowning at him. He almost looked a little disappointed. "Did you think we'd - Minho!" 

"What?" he asked, slightly offended, and ducked down, taking a step to the side and away from him. "I'm sorry. I thought that was your intention, leading me away from everyone. You could've kissed me in our room." 

"You can't possibly think I wanted to have sex right here? With so many people passing by that door at all times?" he was a little in shock, and Minho rolled his eyes at him before sitting on the desk. 

"Why not? When did that ever bother you before, huh?" he asked and started fiddling with the necklace to take it off. "Forget it. This was a stupid idea," he said and took off the necklace, slamming it down on the table. 

"Baby, are you okay?" he asked softly. 

"No, obviously not. I'm making a fool out of myself here hoping this-," he gestured at himself. "-would finally make me attractive enough in your eyes again to go further than a kiss." 

"Wait, what?" he asked truly shocked now. His eyes widened at what he thought Minho was insinuating. 

"Two months ago, you would've gotten into my pants before I properly locked the door. You've been locking yourself up with Hannie and Changbin lately. And it's starting to piss Felix off, but I guess it makes me question myself. I don't know when the last you actually touched me and…is it because I gained weight again?" he asked, a flare of insecurity igniting in his brain as he glanced down at how his form-fitting. "Or-," he stopped as Chan was suddenly in front of him, cupping his face. 

"Baby, take a deep breath," he said kindly, and Minho glared at him, huffing softly but doing it anyways. "I'm so sorry for neglecting your needs. We've just been creating so much for the group and working on new stuff. I didn't know it was making you question yourself." 

"Well, of course it does," he pouted and nervously played with his ring, looking down at it. "Just forget it, Channie. I'm being stupid, this whole idea was stupid from the beginning." 

"What idea?" he chuckled softly. 

"All of this," he said grumpily as Chan seemed to find it amusing. 

"A warning would've been nice, kitten," he said, his voice growing smooth and low. 

Minho blinked at him, and his stomach flipped at the desire dancing in Chan's pupils. "About what? The outfit, the flirting, the dance..the intention behind all of it?" he asked innocently. 

Chan fondled up his thighs. "All of it?" he asked quietly and leaned in closer. 

"Well, where's the fun in that?" Minho asked and sank deep into his eyes. 

"I would've come prepared," he told him. 

"Check my pockets," he smirked and hopped off the table. 

Chan frowned softly before reaching into the pocket at the back. He couldn't help himself, teasingly squeezing his ass before pulling out two condoms. "Did you..?"

"No, I didn't carry them around on stage, you dumbass. I had them stored away in the waiting room," he protested, taking out the small bottle of lube from his jacket. 

"Fuck Min. Are you sure we can do this now?" he asked, checking his phone for the time. 

"Seriously? There are twenty performances before ours, which gives us at least an hour," he groaned impatiently. "But if you keep wasting time, we can't do this."

"You really came prepared, huh," Chan giggled, watching Minho impatiently unbuckling his belt. "You're in a rush?" 

"Whatever you plan on doing, these trousers come off," he told him. 

"That's a bummer. Your ass and thighs look really great in it," Chan pouted playfully. 

"They look even better when I’m straddling your dick, now move or I'll do it myself," he gave back smoothly with a hint of sassiness. Chan pulled him into a very passionate kiss, intoxicating enough to keep him dazed. His hands grabbed his ass, pulling him close as their lips met. "That's more like it," Minho smiled as he pulled back.

Chan hummed gently and unbuttoned the blue-striped vest, kissing down his torso as more skin slowly revealed itself. "By the way, you look beautiful as always, and I don't mind you gaining weight one bit," he assured him before planting a loving kiss right on the scar on his stomach. 

Minho smiled gently and brushed his hair back, looking down at him. "I know…you know how I get sometimes." 

"I do," he smiled and squeezed his hips before coming back up and kissing him on the mouth instead. "I think after delivering such a show, you deserve to see how stunning you look when you fall apart."

Minho gasped softly and looked at him with wide eyes, darkening with passion. "Just be careful and don't leave a mark in places people will see with the new outfit." 

"I'll be careful," he promised before turning him around so he was facing the mirror. 

Minho leaned back against him, inspected their reflection, and met his eyes through the mirror. "Don't we look good together?" 

"I think we fit together perfectly," Chan hummed, agreeing, and reached down into his pants, stroking his dick gently. Minho's eyes fluttered, lips parting with a gasp. Chan growled lowly and buried his nose in his neck. "Fuck Min, please tell me you're keeping this outfit. I need to fuck you properly in it tonight." 

Minho blinked at him through the mirror. "Shit, is this one of your kinks, hyung?" 

Chan pressed himself against him and gently wrapped his hand around his neck, careful not to leave any marks. "Call it whatever you want, kitten." 

Minho shivered at the contact and melted against him. "I mean, I can ask if I can keep it," he said and chuckled as Chan let go of him, dropping down to his knees in front of him. 

"You're right, I haven't been appreciating what I come home to every night enough," he tells him and fondles up his thighs. "Let me make it up to you," he said, taking the band of his boxers between his teeth and pulling them down, along with his pants. 

-

"Where's Chan hyung?" Changbin asked, confused. 

"Probably fucking Minho hyung's brains out, why?" Jeongin gave back dryly. The painfully loud silence called him to look up from his phone. "What?!" 

"Sometimes it scares me how grown-up you are now," Hyunjin said with wide eyes. His words were rewarded with him sticking his tongue out at him. 

"Maybe it's the other way around," Seungmin suggested with a shrug, casually scrolling through his phone. 

"The suit might work," Jisung hummed, agreeing. 

"I hate you all," Changbin groaned. 

"Loosen up, babe," Felix smirked. "We all know he's right." 

"Exactly," Jeongin grinned before squinting his eyes at Felix and Changbin. "Also, weren't you doing the same thing just minutes ago?" 

"Darling, that's enough," Seungmin said softly. 

"At this point, we should be allowed to do it on the sofa. Everyone knows anyway," he shrugged. 

"Minho hyung, help!" Hyunjin shouted in shock, making everyone laugh. "He'd kick your ass for that." 

"I'll go and get some coffee. Let's hope they're back to collect their kids after," Changbin sighed, and Felix giggled softly. 

"You're their kid too, dumbass," Jisung pointed out. 

"Yeah, fuck you too," he laughed. 

-

Minho pulled up the zipper of his pants, smirking at Chan, fixing his messed-up hair. Their eyes met through the mirror, and Chan turned, again dropping to his knees. He hugged him tight, burying his face in his stomach for a moment before looking up at him with dreamy eyes. Minho beamed at him, gently brushing back his hair. He hadn't been this happy in a while, being on stage without thinking about his knee anymore. He had his friends there, a very supportive boyfriend, and gosh, he loved him. All that stupid drama, those many lows and equal ups in between had made them grow much closer than before. He wouldn't want it any different now. Minho was finally truly happy, ready to face whatever was coming with Chan right by his side. This time, he was sure he'd have his back. "Channie hyung?" 

"Yes?" he asked sweetly. 

"I love you," he said. "Never forget that." 

"I think I'm addicted to you," Chan breathed out, and his eyes grew incredibly soft. "I love you more than anything else." 

"You'd die for those kids out there. Don't put me first," he giggled softly. 

"I'd die for you too," he told him. Minho believed him, truly. 

"Stay alive for me, baby boy," Minho shook his head, crouching down and kissing him hard on the mouth as tears brimmed Chan's eyes. 

"I love you too," he whispered and took his hand, kissing the ring. He got up and held up his pinky finger. “You and me against the world?”

“Forever,” Minho answered smiling, sealing the deal.

Chp. 20 | Back to the beginning

MASTERLISTS | PROMPT LIST | GUIDELINES

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[ghoulette-knell]

Ghost B.C Kinktober:

October 2nd 🎃🔞

Prompt: Shower Sex

TW: Shower sex; handjob (m receiving); fingering (f receiving); groping; vaginal penetration; spanking.

Sodo

Fem!Reader

🔞 MDNI 🔞

Word Count: 1,423

You were beyond exhausted. You and the rest of Ghost had just finished up the United States of America leg of the tour, and the final show had been very taxing. Taxing as in all of the months you and your friends had prepared for everything was now done, and also mentally taxing due to the fact that, if Lucifer wanted to, any of you could be taken.

The only thing that could get all of this off your mind was a shower.

You turned on the warm water and began stripping out of your clothes. A yawn left your lips as you climbed into the water; the heat from the water not even causing you to flinch.

You stopped underneath the low pressure, cheap hotel room shower and just let the water soak you to the bone. Showers like this always did your muscles such good.

However, your relaxation time was interrupted by a knock at the door.

“Occupied!” you yelled while sticking your head out of the shower.

“(Y/N), it’s Sodo. Can I come in?”

A grin flew to your lips. You knew what he wanted. The bastard always showed up when you least expected it, because at these moments is also when the fire ghoul would get mysteriously horny.

“Of course,” you purred while sticking your head back into the shower, “I hope you don’t mind soap suds.”

A chuckle left the ghoul’s mouth as he walked into the bathroom. He locked the door behind him, and you could immediately hear him unbuckling his belt so he could hop in the shower with you.

“How are you doing?” he asked while kicking his shoes off, “You rushed away quickly after the show.”

You hummed and turned around 180° so you’d be facing the direction Sodo would enter once he was undressed.

“Yeah, I’m okay. I got to thinking about Sunshine and Aether. It’s been a whole year since they got dragged back to Hell. I miss them so much.”

Sodo sighed and stepped into the shower. You’d seen him naked so many times that this wasn’t a magnificent moment.

“Come here.”

You nodded and stepped into his opened arms; falling into a hug. His lips pressed warmly on your forehead, “I miss them everyday too, (Y/N). It isn’t the same without them, but there’s a time where we have to move on. Phantom and Aurora have been doing a wonderful job, and ultimately, we need to be happy about that. The clergy’s success is our main priority.”

“I know,” you mumbled into his chest as you hugged him, “I’m just worried that Lucifer will… take you from me.”

A sigh left Sodo’s lips as he craned your chin up so you could look into his eyes. The fire ghoul pressed his lips against yours; breathing in your scent.

“Live in the present. I am here, and so are you. When the time comes, we deal with it then. For now, we have each other, and we should celebrate togetherness.”

You slipped into the kiss without hesitation. You knew the guitarist was right— living in the present was so, so important for mental health. Worrying about something you can’t control is taxing.

“Thank you for talking some sense into me, Sodo,” you whispered while blinking shower water out of your eyes, “I’m beginning to feel better. Why don’t we get started on the reason why you’re here? Hmm?”

Sodo chuckled and nodded; his hands automatically rising to massage your soapy tits, “That can be arranged.”

You grabbed his hardening cock and began to lightly stroke it. Sodo chuckled lightly and continued to stimulate your breasts which caused little moans to leave your mouth.

“It’s been too long since we did this,” Sodo groaned as you continued to increase your speed on his dick.

You giggled and kissed his lips one more time before turning another 180° so you were facing away from Sodo. You leaned downwards and placed your hands against the side of the shower; your throbbing pussy pointed towards Sodo’s dick.

Sodo growled and laid a hard, upwards smack against your ass. You mewled in pleasure while wiggling your ass at him; a smile plastered to your lips.

Using his strong hands, he quickly applied more, sharp smacks against your sensitive backside. Sodo just adored the sounds of your little moans of pleasure.

After a few moments, he quickly pressed two, cold fingers into your pussy; testing how tight you’d be. You hissed from the sudden pleasure and rammed your hips back.

“Eager are we?” the fire ghoul purred while briefly massaging your clit with his thumb as you backed it up onto his hand.

“You said it yourself,” you groaned as Sodo sent shock waves of pleasure through your legs with his expert hands, “It has been way too long since we’ve done this. And I haven’t been hooking up with anyone else in the meantime.”

Sodo chuckled cockily and grabbed his dick; rubbing the tip against your entrance.

“Good girl. It pleases me to hear this. You know you belong to me.”

You groaned and arched your back as Sodo began teasingly entering your pussy, “Fuck yeah. There’s no one in this damn ministry that can make me scream the way you do.”

That was all the fire ghoul needed to hear.

Without hesitation, the man gripped your hips roughly; likely leaving little love bruises on your sensitive skin. He plunged forwards into you; his eyes rolling into the back of his head from how tight you were for him.

A scream left your mouth as he violently entered you. Sodo’s hand stretched forward and cupped over your screaming lips,

“Usually I love to hear you scream for me, but this bathroom is right next to Swiss’ room. If that fucker knows what’s going on, he will try to join us,” Sodo growled into your ear while using his sharp teeth to nibble on your shoulder as he rutted into you.

You giggled while nibbling on the inside of his hand. Although Sodo was the best fuck you could ever ask for, you secretly didn’t mind the idea of Swiss joining the two of you once in a while. The idea of getting face fucked in one hole and getting pile drived in the other was orgasmic in itself.

“You act as if that’s a bad thing!” you grumbled while pushing back into Sodo’s rhythmic thrusts.

Sodo chuckled and rolled his eyes while bending closer into your arch so he could localize his thrusts. The water from the shower helped him slide in and out better, which ultimately increased both of your pleasure.

Skin slapping on skin, the two of you were a moaning mess. Sodo’s craws dug into your hips, drawing blood. The ghoul simply licked up the blood and water mix from the shower without hesitation. Everything he did was so damn hot.

“Sodo~” you whined while bucking your hips back towards his oncoming thrusts.

You could feel your orgasm coming as you gripped to the slippery walls. Sodo grunted deeply with every thrust; his cock finally hitting your g-spot.

“F-Fuck!” you hissed as your eyes rolled into the back of your head as your pussy milked Sodo dry.

You could feel his seed spilling into your stomach as Sodo leaned all of his weight into one last thrust. Your stomach grew warm as the fire ghoul’s cum met it’s mark.

The two of you stood there for at least a minute more; Sodo’s cock unmoving as it stayed buried inside of you. The two of you tried to catch your breath.

Sodo only began moving as the shower water began to turn cold. He pulled out of you with a ‘plop’, a smirk on his lips,

“I hope I could make you feel better, baby,” he said while watching his seed drip out of your swollen cunt, “Sorry about the shower water. We ran out of hot water.”

“Meh,” you shrugged with a slight giggle; your legs wobbling as you tried to stand straight, “Honestly, you made me feel better than any shower would’ve. Now, help me out of here. My legs are way too unstable to get out of this tub by myself.”

Sodo just laughed and did as you asked of him.