#incorrect batfamily quotes

[incorrectbatfam]

Jason: We do this the old-fashioned way

Jason: *pulls out a Molotov cocktail*

Dick: How did you make that so fast?!

[batfamgalore]

*Batbros on a road trip and halfway through they open the trunk to get a bag and find a random man in there*

Tim: Oh my god.

Jason: Whoah.

Dick: Did you not put him in there, Damian?

Damian: No, I did not.

[ca-3-lestis]

Jason: *watching Tim trying to flirt with Bernard but failing miserably*

Jason: I told him not to go to Dick for advice.

[fluffy-anna]

Tim Drake aka Red Robin wallpaper

I relate to tim in ways I have not related to religion

As the poll results asked, here we go

My favorite cynic and bi disaster and the epitome of sleep deprived middle child

@arrowheadedbitch

Here you go 🩷🩷🩷

[daemonmage]

Incorrect Batfam Quotes

After finding out Bruce is alive.

Dick: “Listen, if Tim say something to me I 100 percent believe that he believes it. So I believe it too.”

Tim: “I blew up several league of assassin bases.”

Dick: “I have no way to know if that is true but Tim said it so I believe it.”

[batfambrainrotbeloved]

Batfam quotes as quotes from my dnd group (part 4)(a few mild nsfw so be warned, but again- dnd, so it was inevitable)

Dick:“Zantana is in the fucking shadow realm assembling her Yu-gi-o deck” Duke:"I'm going to look you in the eyes and be difficult, you are well within your right to refuse me" Tim:"It's Saprophysis- okay Zara I know you wanna spell it so it goes F..." Jason:"..." Jason:"You immediately fucked that up-" Tim:"Kon do you not trust me anymore"? Luthor:"Lie to him Kon" Kon:"Nah its just that your now really fucking hot-" Luthor:"Kon NO" Damian:“If he had drowned I would have been like- oh well" Tim to Ra: “May I ask? Oh no- I will ask- Whose terrarium do you crawl around in”? Babs:“She's more of an object” Dick:“Aren't we all” Jason:“..Objects to the system” Steph:“Maybe that's what's on my horizon… glue” Damian:“The Raven queen does not permit you to walk away-” Jason:"But what if I jump"? N/A Goon:“You will watch them make out” Steph:"Oh... oh nooo- anything but t h a t" Jason:“What does a shark cock look like- I'm curious”? Duke:“Does it like.. Roll up”? Steph:“I mean a shark vagina actually looks fairly normal, you look at it and go yeah that's a vagina” Damian:"I hate you all."

[wondersinwaynemanor]

some petty scenarios between the Wayne kids just to annoy the other (or more like get some attention, even though they won't admit it).

Tim: You know I hate your paintings, Dami. They're too colorful and too bright. They're too... Ugh.. Good. And... And... Maybe find another hobby? It's getting annoying.

Damian: You know what's a nuisance, Drake? You.

Tim: Not as annoying as your -

Damian: Keep talking nonsense, Drake, and I'll be asking for the portrait I did of you and Kent.

Tim, wraps an arm on Damian's shoulder: Heyyyy, I was kidding. All good, Dami.

---

Jason: Remember when you had the long hair, Goldie?

Dick: And I want to have that hair again.

Steph: I wish I was there to see it in person. You slayed, Dick!

Dick, flutters his lashes: Oh, you didn't need to say that, Steph.

Jason, scoffs: Ha? That long hair slayed? It was too shiny, it stung my eyes. No, no--it blinded some rogues. You don't want that to happen to you, right, Steph?

Dick, pouts: What are you talking about, Little Wing???? You even said you wanted a hair like mine!!!

Jason: I was young and made bad decisions. Of course, you all know that by now.

Steph: Jason doesn't know what he's talking about. Have the long hair again, Dick!

Dick, huffs: I'm glad I got a supporter.

---

Steph, groans: I can't focus!!!

Steph can't see Cass' face with her cowl on but she knows Cass is giving her a questioning look.

Steph: You're too distracting, okay?

Cass continues to stare at Steph.

Steph, whispers: You're wearing the perfume I really like.

Cass, tilts her head: Okay. I won't use-

Steph, gasps: Who told you to do that???

---

Jason, tries to enjoy his toast and tea in peace: Maybe try to open the drawer harder, Timbo? I'm sure it will be broken then.

Tim, opening the refrigerator doors this time with extra force, raises his voice: What was that, Jay???

Jason: Are you serious? It's too early.

Tim, gets a cup of coffee: Not my fault you're in the kitchen. Go and eat in your room. You're not the only person in this house.

Jason, raises his brows at him: What's your fucking problem??

Tim: Nothing.

proceeds to steal the fruit that's on Jason's plate.

Jason: Seriously?????

proceeds to grab Tim's cup of coffee on his hand and chugs on it.

Tim: You're an animal!!!

Jason: So are you!!!

Alfred, by the kitchen door, pinches the bridge of his nose: Oh, should the young masters must really be shouting this early?

---

Duke: Do you need anything else, Dick?

Dick, grins: Nope, nope. Carry on, Second Little D.

Duke: I can't really help you with your bike if you're singing loudly right in my ear.

Dick, blushes: Oops, sorry. I'll keep quiet.

Duke, chuckles: No, it's okay. Just don't do it right in my ear. I need my hearing.

meanwhile, Damian plays a video in the Batcomputer in a high volume.

Dick, shouts from across the cave: Dami, maybe lower the volume?

Damian, shouts back: Tt. It's a tactic to cover up your singing, Grayson. And Thomas, I need your help with-

Dick: I still need him with my bike, Dami!

Damian: You've had him for the past three hours, Grayson!

Dick: And so???

Damian: And so, I need his assistance with something.

Duke, scratches the back of his neck: Maybe I can help you both later. It's time for me to call Izzy anyways-

Dick and Damian at the same time: Wait, no!

[nicomoon69]

Steph: I love lesbian jesus

Cass: Barbara??

Steph: what- no- I meant- wait…

[galaxymagitech]

Bruce, walking into the room:

Bruce: *sees Tim and Jason covered in glitter and fencing with fire pokers, Steph and Cass having a tea party while taped to the ceiling and providing commentary in British accents, Duke climbing out the window, Damian roasting marshmallows in the curtains (which are now on fire), and Dick attempting to put out the curtain fire with a bucket of fruit punch*

Bruce:

Bruce: What.

Tim: I can explain.

Dick: No, he can’t.

Tim: Yes I can. The explanation is that we’re all insane.

[pandorasb1tch]

Y/N: yeesh, how do the villains always seem to know where we are?

Dick: y/n did you remember to set your Twitter to private?

Y/N:

Dick: y/n you set it to private right

Y/N:

Dick: y/n

This is based off something I saw a few years ago, creds :)

[batfamhyperfixation]

After a gala

Dick, flopping onto the couch: man I feel cookie dough right now

Duke: ooo me too I want cookie dough

Bruce: no dick is talking about his feelings

Bruce: he expresses his feelings in ice cream flavors

Duke: in ice cream flavors?

Dick: when I was younger Bruce and I were both really bad at expressing emotions so we started using ice cream flavors to explain

Bruce: like mint chocolate chip on my shoulder

Dick: or I have been on a rocky road lately

Bruce: or I’ve been feeling kinda vanilla lately means a depressive spout

Dick: or double chocolate extreme means I’ve been a kinda manic lately

Duke: so what does cookie dough mean?

Dick: I’m exhausted from having to put on a sugary sweet persona for a bunch of rich people

Duke: fair enough but I still want cookie dough

Dick: if you swear never to tell anyone else I will show you my secret stash

Duke: I pinky swear

[incorrectbatfam]

Riddler: Ah, yes. I’ve been expecting you.

Bruce: What? How’s that possible?

Riddler: By staring at that door continuously for hours. Something was bound to happen.

[dc-and-damirae]

steph: My Mom is the worst! Ugh! jason: She sold you out to the joker? I feel that. steph: … steph: Hold on, I gotta go call my mom and apologize.

[justapersonwhitaname]

(Thing that happen between me and a friend of mine)

Jason: Where are you going?

Tim: To make coffee

Jason: No

Tim: You aren't my boss

Jason: I HAVE BISCUITS AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE THEM!

Tim: *Sit slowly down without coffe*

[ca-3-lestis]

Midnight Cravings.

Damian turns in his bed, yet again. Its’s been about an hour and a half since patrol ended. Everyone else went to bed, and are now sound asleep, except him. Giving out a deep sight, Damian decides to be productive, by walking around the manor with no definite destination in mind. He walks around for at least twenty minutes before entering the kitchen.

After taking a minute to think, he heads to the cabinet where Dick stores his most preferred cereal, he even puts them in order from ‘awesome’ to ‘the best’ to ‘GODDAMN AMAZING’. Damian thinks the order is useless and has no real purpose, causing Dick to make a face of utter offence and disappointment towards him. Damian climbs on the handles of the drawers to reach the cabinet, getting out one of the chocolate flavoured cereals, which lies in the ‘the best’ section. He then pulls out a bowl and the carton of milk from the fridge, making absolutely no noise. He pours the milk and as he’s getting the spoon, he hears a shuffle of noise. His instincts come in, and he throws the spoon with precision, aiming at the source of the noise.

Jason catches the spoon with ease, “You pour the milk before the cereal?”

“Todd, what are you doing up?” Damian asks, his face passive. “Also, I thought you went to your apartment.”

“Decided to stay the night, Alfred’s making a full English breakfast in the morning,” Jason said, as he walked to where Damian stood and placed the spoon in front of him. “Don’t you have school tomorrow? You should be asleep.”

“I don’t need to explain myself to you,” Damian scowled.

“Put the claws away, demon brat,” Jason laughed, grabbing the cereal box. “And, unless you want two hour long speech from Dick on the etiquette’s on how to cereal in true form, don’t pour the milk before whenever he’s around.”

“Noted,” Damian nodded. The two made their cereal in silence and ate it, the only noise being the crunch of the cereal.

Damian hesitated before asking, “Jason, you went to my school to study during your high school years, is that right?”

Jason gave a confused nod.

“Do you have any idea why Miss Corley has such hatred about my last name being ‘Wayne’?”

Jason gave out loud snort, “Oh, you’re going to love this,”

That night, Damian realised how much chaos that Dick created during his school years, how his father had a arch-nemesis who worked as assistant manager at the supermarket and how great company his big brother Jason is.

[batfam-freek]

Imagine Tim losing his shit and going off on his siblings with prison threats

Damian: You're too slow, Drake. You really need—

Tim: If you don't shut the fuck up I will fucking touch you, you little bitch.