#incorrect batfamily quotes
batfamgalore · 3 days
*Bruce talking to Dick and Jason after a mission*
Bruce: Both of you have done exemplary work, which I appreciate.
Dick: And I can see that by the absolutely no indicators on your face.
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incorrectbatfam · 3 days
Tim: Do you remember that hoodie I let you borrow?
Damian: The black one?
Tim: Correct.
Damian: I do remember it.
Tim: Okay, I want it back.
Tim: Give me my hoodie back.
Damian: Why do you need it?
Tim: What?
Damian: Why do you need your hoodie back?
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mxfloof · 2 days
Bad Guy, pointing a gun at Jason: Don't move, or I'll kill you. Jason: Bold of you to assume I've never been killed before. Dick: Jay... Jason: Oh, please, we all know it takes both a crowbar and explosion to take me out. The guy has neither. Dick: WE ARE NOT TESTING THAT Tim: But, If one of us dies to a firearm, Bruce Wayne might suddenly become a gun control activist. Jason: Either way we win. I don't see a problem Dick: I DO
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Incorrect Batfam Quotes
Damian: Drake, I have need of your aid. My class is being forced to do a Secret Santa and I got the class bully. What should I get him?
Tim: Make him a Where’s Waldo book but photoshop Waldo out of every picture.
Damian: …
Dick: …
Jason: …
Jason: That’s cruel, but I love it! Do that!
Dick: Tim, didn’t you give me a Where’s Waldo book last year?
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Dick concentrating on a task : What is love ♪
Y/N : Baby don't hurt me.
Damian : I would never hurt you.
Y/N : No it's a so—
Damian : I will never let anyone hurt you.
*and goes back to sharpening his sword*
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whatever908 · 1 day
Kidnapper: I have your kid Bruce: which one I have many… Kidnapper: the really loud, annoying one that never shuts up Bruce:... Bruce: which one I have many…
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theaceofarrows · 10 hours
Damian: [walks into Bruce's office with his hands behind his back]
Damian: Father, I would like to congratulate you. You are now a grandfather
Bruce: [seconds away from a heart attack] W- what?
Damian: [reveals the hamster he was holding behind his back] Meet Ferdinand
Bruce: [slumps against desk] Next time... please- please lead with that... I'm begging you
Jason: [hiding in the vents with a camera] He actually did it, the crazy little son of a bitch
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Jason & Dick, finding a dead body on patrol:
Jason: b-
Dick, holding up a finger: don't you DARE say 'been there done that'
Jason: you can't tell me what to do, you didn't even come to my funeral!
Dick: I was in SPACE
Jason: and I was in the GROUND
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wickedsmille · 2 days
Tim: You've heard of elf on a shelf, now I give you
Tim: *points at Jason's new mug shot*
Tim: Jason under investigation!
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Bruce : " Here, you can play with this kaleidoscope I got you at the airport."
Dick : " What ? A kaleidoscope ? I’m not five."
Dick : *Looks through kaleidoscope*
Dick : " Shapes and colours the likes of which I’ve never seen~ "
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kimjun · 5 hours
Jason: So... what would you do if you were in bed with me?
Yn: Depends. Is your bed comfortable?
Jason: Yes.
Yn: I'd sleep.
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brokenstar28 · 17 hours
Bat-fam as random things I've said/heard this week/ Sleep Deprived 5-9
Bruce: Do you need these brains?
Tim: Yeah, there my back-up's.
Dick: *blocks the doorway* You shall not pass!
Damian: I have to go to the bathroom.
Dick: ...Hugs first.
Tim: Do you ever want to just...dissapper?
Dick: NO!
Damian: Yes.
Tim: What are your thoughts on murder?
Jason and Damian at the exact same time: DO IT!!!
Dick: Murder bad!
Jason: We just thought the exact same thing!
Damian: 1 or 2?
Tim: 3
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incorrectbatfam · 22 hours
Damian: Father, can I borrow money to buy you a present?
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firerose18991 · 27 days
Literally anyone meeting bruce and his family for the first time: So how did you get so many kids by 30?
Jason: *shouting over him* HE LEFT MY MOTHER AT THE ALTAR
*tim is sitting, just happy to be included*
Bruce: BE-quiet.  They're ADOPTED!
Jason: *not a beat missed* Because he’s never known the touch of a woman.
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Incorrect Batfam Quotes
*Bruce interviewing for a new sidekick
Bruce: Have you ever been diagnosed with a mental disorder or experienced any childhood trauma?
Kid: Not yet.
Bruce: I can fix that.
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Jason, stops walking and turns around : What?
Tim : ...I lost my shoe.
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