#this'll probably be my only post on the subject

[brown-little-robin]

Dungeon Meshi getting popular is so weird to me because to Me it's the unique underground funny-and-then-really-creepy manga my Cool Uncle sent me in the mail when he found out I like manga

[h2llish]

Wait devil, have you seen those vids of people touching up their lipstick and a hand comes into frame to smudge it away and then the camera pans to that person and they just have their face filled with lipstick stained kisses?? Yeah imagine that but with Vil or Cater (or anyone else but I feel like the latter would actually record and post his version on magicam) May or may not be a request tehee

⁀➷ ˖ TREND MARKS

notes ─── i actually hadn't seen those videos until now when i searched it up! hope you enjoy :)

VIL SCHOENHEIT, CATER DIAMOND ─ a couple trend, and red wax ♡ fluff, gender neutral, lowercase intended, established relationship, not proofread

you actually hadn't been the one to bring it up ─ at least not with the intention to recreate the videos that were flooding your magicam. (mostly thanks to the videos cater would send you. why he was so obsessed with them as of late you weren't sure, but being as close to the heartslabyul junior as you were, you were on the receiving end of his spamming.)

you'd shown your boyfriend a few of the videos, usually as a way to fill in the silence during the nights you would sit with your boyfriend as he completed his nighttime skincare routine. you commented on the spam cater had subjected you to with this trend and how cute it was, but just as an off comment.

besides, you knew even if you wanted to, you couldn't possibly participate in such a trend.

vil schoenheit was a popular, might you even say famous, person, putting too much of your relationship out there was risky. while he was happy to tell some of the more trusted people in your lives about the relationship, he was scared to put you out into public view. seven knows what the public and press would do if they learned vil was dating someone.

it was like every night ─ stretching yourself out across your boyfriends sheets and scrolling boredly through magicam, sighing and hearting the videos you had finally seen too much off in your messages (thanks, cater.) vil sat at his vanity, occasionally glancing at you through the mirror ─ not that you noticed.

but when you heard vil call your name, you looked up, blinking at him as he approached you. you had come to memorize his routine and knew how long it took him, so you knew he couldn't be done yet. you set your phone down beside you to be forgotten, giving vil your full attention, "yes, my liege?"

vil hummed, and you noticed the color on his lips ─ a pretty red that you weren't used to seeing on him. "sit up." he ordered, although his voice was soft. you complied, pushing yourself up until you were almost similar height to the housewarden.

you sent your boyfriend a confused look as he grabbed your face. but then he started to explain, and you understood quite quickly what he was doing. "i won't record this, but i think this'll do."

he started with a kiss to your forehead, then your right cheek, then your left. you could feel the stain of the red on his lips everytime they met your skin (or maybe that was just you becoming hyperaware the more flustered you were) before he pulled away only to come back to kiss another part of your face.

you hadn't realize you had shut your eyes until you no longer felt vil's lips on you, to which you slowly blinked them open until you were looking at him again. he was smiling, or perhaps smirking was the better word, as his eyes trailed all over your face.

vil couldn't put your relationship out there, he wouldn't put that stress on you. he had fans who probably wouldn't be all too happy to know about a relationship (would you be harrassed? he didn't want that.) and the press, who would hound the two of you with sensitive questions the moment they learn who you are. he loved his job, but he's not sure you could handle the public eye like he could. ─ at least that was his only reason, until now, staring at you with the marks of red caused from his own kisses, he decided he'd try to keep your relationship out of the public eye as long as he could. whether it be covered in lipstick stains or laying on his bed waiting for him to finish his skincare, you were a sight for him to keep.

vil was interrupted from his throughts as he felt your thumb brush below his lip, wiping away the red that had rubbed off his lips. you smiled at him, and vil sighed, leaning down to press a final kiss to your lips before stepping back and releasing your face.

"i'll be done soon."

he learns you'd taken a picture of your face covered in his lipstick marks when he receives a picture from you the next day, with the message, i like the red.─ and well, perhaps he was deciding which colors would look good against your skin next time.

cater diamond liked to keep up with the latest trends ─ perhaps as a way to keep up the mask of his outgoing persona ─ and he liked to show you those latest trends. sometimes he'd add to those trends with a photo or video of his own. and sometimes he liked to ask you to make a video with him, although they weren't always trends for couples, he liked to include you.

there was a new trend on magicam that's recently caught cater's eye ─ and of course, being his partner, you were automatically the one he turned to when he decided he wanted to create a video as well.

he sent you some of the videos featuring the trend a few times, before outright asking you to make a video with him ─ you're not quite sure why he wanted to do this trend so bad. maybe because it was a couple trend, either way he was hooked on doing it with you, and you weren't one to deny your boyfriend.

when you agreed, you hadn't really expected to be on the receiving end of it ─ but when he pulled out a stick of lipstick and smiled brightly at you, you think you understood why he wanted to do it so bad. (you wouldn't call it sly of him, but cute. although you wished cater would let you give as much affection as he does to you.)

you didn't protest when cater sat on your lap, lips coated in red as he smiled at you. ─ he was so cute, you think, although you're sure he thought the same about you as he covered your face in kisses, the feel of the wax lingering every time he pulled away. you kept your eyes closed, hands resting softly on his waist as you waited for him to finish. (but you realized eventually how long it took just to leave a few lipstick marks on your skin. oh, cater really was so cute.)

when cater finally did pull away for good, lingering a final kiss on your nose as a finishing touch, he quickly grabbed his phone and the stick of lipstick set down on the bed beside you. he still sat in your lap, obviously with no intention of moving ─ fine by you.

he turned back to you, lipstick at the ready and the camera on magicam pulled up. "ready?" he asked, and you hummed, removing one of your hands from his waist and holding it up, just out of sight of his phone but ready to do just as you had watched many do on video.

he pressed record, raising the lipstick to coat his lips just as he done before, purposefully smudging it on the corner. that's when you raised your hand into view of the camera, using your thumb to wipe away the excess wax. that's when he turned his phone just enough to get your face into view, showing off the multitude of lipstick marks. it was your first time seeing yourself, seeing as he was quick to get into the video before you could get a glimpse at the picture you likely painted. ─ your face was covered in a rose-red, and the more you looked at it, the more you felt the color on your skin. you really couldn't help the smile from forming on your face, just before cater clicked stop.

he quickly replayed the video ─ although with how often he watched the videos of the trend, you're quite sure it was unnecessary ─ and when he deemed it good, turned to you, "can i post it now?"

you smiled, moving a strand of hair from his face, "of course, if you want to."

"you probably want to clean that off, i have makeup remover in my bathroom." he told you as he finished posting the video, looking up at you with a pretty smile, highlighted by the red still on his lips.

you nodded, eyeing the lipstick he'd set back on his bed while he was busy checking the video for errors. "before that," you grinned as you grabbed it, and held it up for cater to see, already bringing it to your own lips, "my turn."

i love cater, i really should write for him more

do not repost, translate, copy or run my writing through an ai

[the-incorrigible-chaia]

This'll probably be my final post on this subject, tbh, it's exhausting. Also, it's long. TW: Oppression, anti-Palestinian racism, antisemitism, settler-colonialism, pogroms.

EMBRACE COMPLEXITY. TURN AWAY FROM SIMPLISTIC NARRATIVES.

A lot of people are treating this like it's a football match, and that their "side" can do no wrong, when in reality it is entirely possible to be aware of and hold both violences in your mind, while also being aware of the power dynamics in play.

For Jews, this is the largest pogrom since the Shoah. (And yes, I'm calling it a pogrom. That seems more accurate to me than "terrorist attack".) The terror and distress resulting from that is built on millennia of pogroms, not just settler fears the way white USAmericans would fear a reprisal from Indigenous people. Half of all Jews in the world live in Israel, and nearly every Jewish person in the world at least knows someone who's lost someone in this attack. The fear is real. As I type this, my aunt and uncle who live in northern Israel were instructed to shelter in a safe room because a Hezbollah [Edit: Hamas] bomb was just dropped on the Ofer Forest.

For Palestinians, armed reprisal was pretty much the only option left after decades of apartheid and oppression by the Israeli government. Just in 2014, for example, Operation Protective Edge killed over 2000 Palestinians, most of whom were civilians. Even in reaction to this very attack, the Israeli government's response was to commit a war crime and impose a total blockade on Gaza, blocking food, water, medicine, fuel, and electricity to approximately 2.3 million people. The fact that they even can do that speaks to the tremendous power imbalance at play, to say nothing of Israel's alleged nuclear capabilities that I'm sure the USA knows absolutely nothing about because if they did Israel would be in violation of nuclear nonproliferation treaties and the US would be obligated to sanction them.

So, I honestly don't know what to say. I don't want to say "it's different when Palestinians do it", because at the end of the day it was still a pogrom, and it's hurt more non-IDF Jews than any single attack since the Shoah, and a lot of people are in mourning. But I also don't want to say "how dare they, I condemn this," because what the hell else are Palestinians supposed to do? They have a fundamental right to live freely and equally in Palestine. They've tried everything else, and the Israeli government's response has consistently been to just bomb the shit out of Gaza, or flood the West Bank with settlers and soldiers, or deny life-sustaining utilities that Israel controls like water and electricity to millions of people. What else is left but armed resistance, at that point?

I mean, shit, we could question whether Hamas really represents the interests of the Gazans it governs or not, or we could debate whether their constitution change in 2017 (they scrubbed most of the religious wording, explicitly denounced antisemitism and specifically condemned colonialism, and even expressed a willingness to acknowledge pre-1967 Israeli borders) is sincere, or whether branding them as simply terrorists is in any way useful, or we could even talk about how Netanyahu supported the funding of Hamas to sap support from Fatah's more progressive stance and forestall any real dialogue.

Or we could debate the concept of "civilian" in a settler colony where the only reason Israeli civilians can even live there as Israelis is through the brutal violence inflicted by the IDF, or the dynamics of how a country with mandatory army service for everyone blurs the distinction between soldier and civilian in the first place, or how the Israeli government has gone hard-right over the past year and an attack like this is exactly what Likud needed in silencing dissent within Israel.

(As for my personal opinion, I think the Likud government damn near deliberately provoked this pogrom with their bullshit on al-Aqsa as an opportunity to manufacture outrage and look strong, knowing full well how many people would get hurt, so that the issue of judicial review gets swept under the rug in the fires of war and revenge. The Israeli government cares more about hurting Palestinians and defending the idea of a "Jewish state" than actually protecting Israeli lives, otherwise they'd have been working to de-escalate and end their apartheid decades ago.)

Shit's complicated. But that's fine. People can understand complicated things. It just takes longer than reading something short and quippy, and it requires you to interrogate your own internal narratives for both antisemitism and anti-Palestinian racism. Also, leave people who are in mourning the fuck alone.

[dreamatia-stories]

Design Notes: The Original Ten Peggle Masters

If you follow my main, you might know that Peggle Dual Shot for the DS has a mechanic known as the Bonus Underground. Each playable Master that made it in (Marina got axed, presumably due to hardware limitations) has a unique background and layout, and most notably for this project, different colored Gems to collect.

Why is this notable? Because I made sure that all ten of them got that color somewhere on their design for OoD. If playing Magic Pengel has taught me anything, it's that colors bring meaning to life, and also that I'm drawn to bright things like a toddler.

And I figured that while I'm explaining that, I might as well explain the rest of the choices I made. Note that I'll be using avatars from Recolor as "concept art", so some details may be off.

This'll be a long post, so bear with me here.

Bjorn's Gems are Orange, as reflected in his hat, jacket, and shorts. His glasses being orange are a complete coincidence, though; that element was actually taken from his appearance in Blast!

(Funnily enough, earlier drafts from before Blast's release had Bjorn getting his eyesight damaged in a fight with Fnord; in the current lore, he's always had nearsightedness that he actively hid with his magic for...Fnord's-eyepatch-related reasons)

His outfit is a little out-there, but it's definitely grown on me. I wanted to go for more RPG Hero than Superhero, specifically an agile spear-wielder. Horses are pretty fragile animals, and a having a jabbing weapon rather than a traditional heroic sword serves as a nod to his horn.

The biggest change I made from the concept when drawing is probably his hat, which loses its brim and gets a horseshoe instead of a star. My goal with all the Institute Masters is to hide a horseshoe somewhere in their design to tie them all together; it's gonna be harder for some Masters than for others.

(The Academy has its own insignia: a flipped horseshoe resembling an omega, as seen on Fnord's eyepatch in canon.)

Jimmy's Gems are Blue, as seen on his jeans and elbow pads. Not many places I can hide a theme color on an already-clothed Master, but thankfully our favorite gopher (who I thought was a guinea pig for years cause science) is consistently pantsless.

While there was no getting rid of his iconic hat, I did give him some protection from impacts in his elbow pads. I gave him jeans to look more like a Rad Cool Kid(tm), but apparently it's recommended skaters wear them due to being wear-and-tear resistant.

While I'm pretty sure it's just weird artifacting from cranking up the saturation slider in Recolor, it kind of looks like he's got green patches or leggings, the latter of which I would definitely wear if I was forced to wear jeans for whatever reason.

If I had to add a horseshoe, it'd probably be some kind of charm on his hat.

Kat Tut's Gems are Cyan, which can be seen, uh...everywhere.

I'm not gonna lie I had ZERO ideas on what to do for KT. I knew Recolor had an "Egyptian Headdress" item (which I'm not sure were actually a thing in Ancient Egypt) and went from there. I do like the silhouette of the headpiece, though.

I wanted something light and show-offy, since Kat Tut is an acrobat and a performer, and well...something definitely happened.

This is probably the most likely to be subject to change, even if I do like the flowy shapes.

Splork's Gems are Yellow, as seen in his overshirt and shoes.

I originally wasn't the biggest fan of Splork, but I think designing this look made me warm up to him a little. It's fairly basic by gijinka standards, just with an added bowling shirt and shoes in his theme color.

Splork only has one eye, so I deliberately gave him the Other Eye Syndrome bangs as a nod. The particular hair part I use for said bangs have an annoying layering shortcut that puts a pile of disembodied hair at your avatars' feet, so I have to make a bald version of every Splork I make and photoshop the two together.

If I ever draw him, I very much intend to give this guy his bulk back. We have enough twinks in this project already.

Claude's Gems are Magenta, which I misremembered as a more coral-y shade of pink. At least it stands out more from Warren's purple?

My main inspiration for Claude was essentially just "guy who tries to pick up chicks at the beach". Unfortunately, in my folly it completely slipped my mind that the guy who gives you Flippers might have a reason to be wearing, well...flippers.

At least I gave him some Big Meaty Claws.

Renfield's Gems are an eerie Lime Green.

My idea for Renfield was to somehow combine a suit with a wizard's robe, and I think the execution went REALLY well.

The suit portion was actually lifted from Eyegor; while it hasn't been stated, Renfield is available as a hat/head item for Xbox Live Avatars if you own Peggle, heavily implying Eyegor is a headless body that Renfield normally perches upon.

Despite having left the Institute prior to the New Frontier's formation, Renfield is one of the few characters that actually DOES have a confirmed horseshoe placement: a subtle shape made with the detailing on the back of his jacket.

Tula's Gems are more of a minty Green, which I misremembered as being more vibrant like her stem.

Tula's design was...supposed to be derived from her Blast Design, but when I went back to look it turned out it was COMPLETELY different.

For starters, her hat. I initially gave her a sunhat, but I recently started wondering if it was actually meant to be a bucket hat. Looking at the art, I legitimately cannot tell what kind of hat that is supposed to be. And apparently it's supposed to have a gaudy fake flower charm on it??? Not only that, but it completely clashes with her color scheme??? That is NOT the same yellow as her petals, and that orange is nowhere else in her outfit!!!

Also, her raincoat??? Apparently it's not actually cerulean, but a bright aqua that makes the green of her stem look muddy and the rest of her design look plastic and fake, which is especially egregious since she's an environmentalist!!!

And good GOD, I think Blast!Tula's face is somehow giving me DOUBLE Uncanny Valley vibes. Like, Classic Tula and her flower friends are kinda disturbing since they have detailed human faces on flower bodies, but Blast Tula STILL looks disturbing because of how Not-Tula she looks.

...Anyways, this is "Design Notes", not "Getting Really Mad At Fashion". Let's move on.

Warren's Gems are Purple, which is convenient since his regular outfit is already almost completely purple.

In this concept, I made his suit fit better since he's larger than he is in-game as a humanoid, but I think I wanna walk that back. He's a gambling addict on a teacher's salary, this man CANNOT afford a tailored suit. If the art department had ever seen a rabbit before in their lives then he would've already been peak design.

Also, just for fun, Warren's form is short as hell. Possibly the shortest New Frontier member besides Gnorman and Luna. I'm thinking 5'1" (~155cm), possibly even shorter.

Cinderbottom's Gems are Red.

Not gonna lie, I think I might be less happy with Cindy's concept than Kat Tut's solely because of how I put in the red. I REALLY should've gone for something less bright. Probably need to do something about that hair, too; maybe some kind of gradient.

Among the Institute, Cinderbottom is the most at-odds with Bjorn, even (not-so) accidentally making him violently ill with his smoke in one of the old Blog posts -- now what was that about 'flames only serving the virtuous'?

Anyways, my point is that Cindy is also based on an RPG hero, this time an armor-clad knight with a sword, befitting his noble stature. (I also thought it'd be a neat reversal if The Hero had a lance while The Lancer had a sword.) His green mail is derived from his green scales.

Master Hu's Gems are White.

This one was pretty much as simple as just giving him a white robe. Recolor didn't have any good turbans, so I left it off.

[sapphicneige]

Since I'm taking a break from writing a very heavy one-shot fic for a little bit, I thought I'd just randomly throw out a writing update thing out there because it's been a while and I enjoy just collecting my thoughts in a post like this.

If you don't care about my writing, then feel free to ignore, but if you do, then please do read on!`

So... when it comes to my current WIPs, the one that hasn't been updated in the longest is You're my safe and sound. Currently, I think this is probably the least likely to get an update immediately. I'm actually about 2000 words into chapter 3, but it's mostly been the new volume that's halted progress on this fic. I've found it hard to go back to imagining what the characters were like back in V1 while I've been so fixated on what they're going through in V9. It's definitely not abandoned though, and I 100% will go back to this fic, so don't worry too much.

Next up we have silver linings. Funnily enough, I'm also about 2000 words into the next chapter of this fic, however, I actually expect this to get an update fairly soon. I already know what will be happening in this chapter and where things will be going, so it's just the process of actually writing these words down. This'll either be the next WIP to get an update, or the second one. It just depends on where my motivation falls and stuff.

The next one is A Mark We Won't Forget, which is actually exactly 4000 words into chapter 2. Unfortunately, that's only like halfway done for the chapter, and I don't see myself doing too much more for this fic immediately. The main reason for this is actually because the latter half of this fic is definitely going to be very NSFW and considering that I wrote The Storm is Going to Break When We Start very recently and end of a life is also in the middle of a very emotional NSFW scene, I've decided to put this fic to the side for a short while, and pick it up when I'm not writing so much NSFW scenes so that I can focus on getting the scenes I am writing as best as I can.

Penultimately, we have I don't ever think I can ever learn how to love you right which is in an interesting state because while I am very motivated to work on it, my brain is very hyperfixated on RWBY currently. Despite that, I'm about 2500 words into the next chapter and I think it's the other WIP that I think will be updated either next, or second. I think it's mostly due to the contents of the chapter, but I am really enjoying everything that's happening and it gives me a break from stuff like the angst of silver linings and the intense emotions of end of a life.

Speaking of end of a life, as of now, I haven't started work on chapter 13, but it is very high on my priority list due to the fact that I actually know everything that needs to happen for the fic to be finished. I have updated the total chapter count on ao3 now so that currently it says 12/15 because of what I think will play out, but that is subject to change. Despite the fact that it probably won't get an update before silver linings or I don't ever think I can ever learn how to love you right, it'd actually be my pick for the fic that'll get an update after those two do.

Anyway, with all that being said, while I don't know if anyone will ever read all this, if you do, thank you so much for your support on my fics. Writing is the thing that brings me the most joy in this world and you have no idea how much any support you give means to me. Each comment makes me smile, each kudos makes me appreciate you so much, each reblog on tumblr just makes me so happy. But, even if you don't do any of those, just reading the things I throw out there into the world, it means everything to me.

Thank you.

[thebroccolination]

Hi yes I’m still here collecting crumbs from BounPrem's cameo on Cutie Pie the Series welcome to the party.

I posted a version of this on a Twitter thread a couple of days ago, but Twitter swallows posts so quickly, I wanted to clean it up and add it here too in case anyone else wants to join me in making fanworks about them. 😌 (Especially fic, please, I'm on my knees in a $900 suit.)

Now! Celebrate with me the six-minute appearance of my new hyperfixation comfort couple:

✨TOPWIN✨

Age-wise, Top and Lian seem to be the same age. I've seen varying information on how old Lian is, but I saw twenty-seven mentioned most recently. Top's cheerleading story and the reactions it gets from Yi and Black seem to imply that all of Lian's friends went to university together and were likely in the same year. So let's say Lian, Top, Yi, and Black are all about twenty-seven.

We hear Win use the "phi" honorific with Top, Lian, and Yi, so he's definitely younger than them. But Win also tells Kuea he has photos and videos of the cheerleading story on his own Facebook page, so he probably went to university with them as well, just in a lower year. I'd say that means he's only a year or two younger, about twenty-five or twenty-six.

And even though Win's younger than his friends, he's not especially deferential to any of them.

He freely teases Lian and Yi, confidently calls out Black on his "love is enough" nonsense, and he's comfortable with openly scowling at Top when Top calls Kuea cute. (Of Note: Top seems to enjoy Win's insouciant personality and even actively joins in with his recreational disrespect. I'm going to assume that's part of why they make a good match for each other. Associates in chaos. <3)

While getting to know Kuea, Win asks if Kuea wants to try dating someone other than Lian since he's still so young. Win, as the only other person there younger than the others, might want to know because he and Top have both dated others before they decided on each other, therefore Win can't imagine marrying your first boyfriend.

(I'd say there's a possibility that Win's asking for himself because he's only ever dated Top and he's curious what it'd be like to date other people, but I think if that were the case, Top's expression would be more concerned. As it is, Top seems just as curious as Win.)

Win's obviously annoyed when Top calls Kuea cute, which implies some level of jealousy. But I wonder if Win's particularly annoyed because this is his older boyfriend complimenting 1) a younger guy, and 2) a guy even younger than Win.

From Win's glare and Top's sheepish grin, flirtatiousness might be an established subject of discussion—or at least tension—between them.

That said, I'd also guess that Win and Top are the most settled couple in their friend group since Black uses them as an example by default to contrast Lian keeping Kuea away from them for so many years.

I love that neither Win nor Top objects to the "inseparable" comment. Top seems pleased by it, Win vaguely smug. I think that says a lot about them right there.

During the Never Have I Ever game, we learn that they've both kissed strangers, but interestingly, apparently neither of them knew before the game, and they do NOT seem to appreciate the history lesson. Top insists to Win that he was drunk and single at the time, but Win still looks annoyed, so this'll probably be revisited later.

Personally, I don't think either of them cheated, but given the "inseparable" thing, it's interesting that this is new information for them. I'd guess it happened years ago, probably in university before they started dating.

(Top's devastated little <:O face is super endearing.)

When Black makes a casual suggestion that marriage isn't necessary and love on its own is enough, Win is quick to present his perspective on the lack of queer rights in their country and the necessity of marriage equality. Given the probability that he and Top have been together for years by this point, marriage might be something Win wants, and he might be especially touchy about anyone casually dismissing how important it is.

(Before we move on, please note Top's proud smile, for I may never recover. This man doesn't just love his boyfriend, he admires him.)

(Also, Black's casual dismissal of same-sex relationships while surrounded by five queer men makes his presence there a little strange, so I'm assuming he's known them since they were in university together and he has some additional familial or business connection that explains why he's still hanging out with them. I would be willing to bet one of the things Top complained about to Win on the way home was, "Who keeps inviting Black?")

The way they touch also implies that they've been together for a long time. It's not clingy and passionate like a new couple might be; it's much more casually affectionate. At twenty-seven and twenty-five/six, it's very possible they've been dating for up to five years or even longer.

We also find out during the game that their first date was apparently somewhere in Africa. The fact that Top forgot that first date was on another continent could mean a lot of things: general forgetfulness, they were only there for a short while, he travels a lot, etc. (Just imagine where their other dates have been. Lots of potential for fanwork there. Y'know. Just saying.)

When they all drink for Who Has a Superbike, Top seems a little cagey and glances at Win before he sips. I'm not as sure what this was supposed to mean, but I read it as Top knowing about Lian's gift for Kuea and seeing if Win's picked up on it. I can't think of another reason why he'd hide having one from Win, unless he's not supposed to have one for some reason. (Broke one once? Almost crashed one? Etc.?)

Later, when Lian says Kuea wants to break their engagement, Top's quick to ask Kuea if Lian's not good enough for him. I thought this was sweet because if Top's been friends with Lian since at least university, he's probably seen evidence of Lian trying to lead a double life in the hope of being good enough for Kuea's family name.

Top asking Kuea if Lian's not good enough for him is sweetly loyal to Lian; maybe even protective of him.

Win's solemn, supportive silence was also sweet to me because it implied that while he'll tease Lian and be cheeky to his seniors in general, he won't allow any real cruelty to them, especially from people he perceives to be outsiders.

Ultimately, the impression I got from their six minutes of screentime is that Top and Win have a comfortable and fond relationship with some spice. They're also visibly and publicly proud to be with each other, which seems important for both of them. And based on Win's speech, it's probably not wild to assume that they'd want more if it were legal for them. 🏳️‍🌈

I enthusiastically encourage everyone to join me in making many fanworks featuring TopWin. Include them in LianKuea fic! YiDiao fic! Win has an archive of photos and videos of both of them, I'm sure. ;D

[The original thread is here. Tumblr limits photos to 10 per post, but the Twitter thread has a lot more.]

[racebox-of-higgars]

//plops down at table with three notebooks//

Good evening.

You shall now be the subject of my rambling and info-dumping, seeing as you have recently reblogged a post about invading your ask box to do just that.

So, buckle up, my beloved mutual, for I am about to talk your damn ears off.

We all know historians are heterosexist shabuire, yes? Yes? Good. So I've taken it upon myself to send an f-you to all of them and collect evidence for one of the historically accurate ships they so desperately try to erase. The one in question here is, of course, Alexander Hamilton x John Laurens, or more commonly known as Lams.

I've done... a lot of research, to put it mildly. And yes, as a matter of fact, I do consider reading letters from the late 1700s and screaming because I can feel my heart MELTING as research.

Anygay, there's a lot that I have right now so I'll just hit the highlights, because if I go completely in-depth with everything I've found, this'll be thousands of words longer.

The year is 1779. The month, April. The date... unknown. Which sucks. Alexander and John have fought together for years at this point and are very close... friends. This is the first time they've been truly separated. The letter open with:

"Cold in my professions, warm in my friendships, I wish, my Dear Laurens, it might be in my power, by action rather than words, to convince you that I love you. I shall only tell you that ’till you bade us Adieu, I hardly knew the value you had taught my heart to set upon you. Indeed, my friend, it was not well done. You know the opinion I entertain of mankind, and how much it is my desire to preserve myself free from particular attachments, and to keep my happiness independent on the caprice of others. You should not have taken advantage of my sensibility to steal into my affections without my consent. But as you have done it and as we are generally indulgent to those we love, I shall not scruple to pardon the fraud you have committed, on condition that for my sake, if not for your own, you will always continue to merit the partiality, which you have so artfully instilled into me."

So pretty much what this opening paragraph is saying is this: "*Sexual innuendo* And I'll keep telling you that until you die. So you know I hate everyone and don't want to have any attachments to anyone. But you've managed to worm your way into my heart, even though I didn't want it. So now that you've done it, please keep doing it, for you if not for me."

Now that's just hella gay. Like, hella fucking gay.

The middle paragraphs are mainly talk about the war, so skipping those for the end because that's when things get spicy as FUCK.

Alexander asks John to find him a wife and goes into great detail about exactly what he wants in a wife. I saw a theory somewhere (I can't remember where) that Alexander was actually describing John and yeah, it pretty much checks out. Keeping in mind deliberate irony is a thing.

So then he goes on to say: "...mind you do justice to the length of my nose and don't forget, that I ⟨– – – – –⟩." 'Nose' is a slang term. And the - - - - - are crossed out words. We'll get to those later.

The last sentence of this letter is: "I have gratified my feelings, by lengthening out the only kind of intercourse now in my power with my friend." and I find this. So. Sweet. He's pretty plainly missing John. And just- he uses the word intercourse. How- how is that platonic? This is gay. They're gay. It's gay.

In almost all the letters that survived, they're signed with "Yours", "Affectionately Yrs.", "Yrs most sincerely", "Yr affectionate", and "Yrs forever" from Alexander. "Adieu, my dear boy", "My love as usual", "You know the unalterable sentiments of your affectionate Laurens", and "Yours ever" all came from John, with the last being the most common. That's... also not terribly straight. Something additionally interesting is that John's father, Henry Laurens, called his wife, Elenor, "Dear girl." That would make it explicitly romantic in his eyes. John also called his wife that in the only surviving letter from him to her. Oh yeah, he's married and has a kid, btw.

So pretty much how that happened was John's boyfriend Francis Kinloch broke up with him, he banged Martha probably 'cause he was sad and pissed and had a lot of feelings, she got pregnant, then he married her out of pity. Alexander knew none of that. And they were really close. The only reason he found out was because he happened to stumble upon some stuff he shouldn't have, and he was pissed. The whole paragraph about him detailing the wife he wanted? Pretty much petty payback.

Devoted is an interesting word, isn't it? Stronger than it's synonyms, such as caring or loyal. So if we skip ahead a few years, Alexander is engaged to Eliza. He tells John about this, John responds, and in his next letter he says: "...as if after matrimony I was to be less devoted than I am now." He's telling him, "Don't worry, I'll still love you as much as I always have. Just because I'm getting married, it doesn't change my feelings for you." Again. Heterosexual explanation? None.

" I hate Congress—I hate the army—I hate the world—I hate myself. The whole is a mass of fools and knaves; I could almost except you and Meade." Keep in mind that at this point now, Alexander was married. And he didn't include his wife in the exemptions. Only John and one of his closest friends, Richard Meade. Dunno 'bout you, but that seems rather telling to me. He also says at the end: "My ravings are for your own bosom." And I can't. His ravings are for John's heart I can't.

These are just some of the highlights of my nearly six thousand word book on this subject. I would happily copy/paste it all, but I'm not gonna subject you to that XD For full viewing the link is here, should you wish to listen to me ramble and rant in more detail.

Thank you for allowing me to dump this all on your lap, and I shall now bid you adieu. //vanishes back into the shadows//

HI, sorry it took me so long to answer this, I’ve had a pretty full-on day. 

This was actually super interesting to read. I actually did a little bit of research into this about a year ago, when I was writing Lams fanfiction, so I knew about the ‘cold in my professions, warm in my friendships” letter, but not any of the others, so thanks for this!! It was a really fascinating read, and I definitely learned a lot from reading it. Have a good day :)

[retphienix]

It's been 6 years :)

On March 30th, 2015 I decided I wanted a gaming side blog. (so we're early, but shush, it's the month for me)

I didn't know what I'd use it for exactly, but I had ideas- something I always have even if most of them only get as far as daydreamin' or writing out before closing them :P

For proof on the lack of direction the blog initially had- the March 30th date is the anniversary of my first post, an in-depth and lengthy review of Dragon Warrior Monsters for the GBC.

If you know the blog then you know "Extremely long and in-depth reviews" aren't the norm around here. As a matter of fact, that first post is the ONLY one I've done!

The closest I've come to ever repeating that would be the (word of the day) Directionless video I put out on Hades to get a grip on the concept of making videos, but that wasn't nearly as much of a 'review' as that first post is.

Tangent, definitely planning on trying my hand at videos some more for the foreseeable future. Probably not gonna use the tagline Full Impressions that I tossed as a whim for the Hades video but yeah- I'm excited to try my hand at a few videos :) tangent over.

It didn't take me long to come up with what I'd like to do for the blog though :)

A few months later I liveblogged a challenge run of FFT where I used only Ramza- a solo run. - Which maybe only happened because I tried a nuzlocke run a year prior on my main account-

(Nuzlocke | FFT challenge run)

Thanks to that haphazard liveblog experiment I started to realize a couple things which became the primary motivators behind this blog.

1) I LOVE sharing experiences. No brainer, I'm sure, but being able to share my experiences, and compare them with others' experiences, and just that mutual sharing is uplifting and feels good to do.

2) Liveblogging is an EXCEPTIONAL motivator to buckle down and play all those games I said I'd play (cue everyone laughing because I'm still way behind and have an immeasurable backlog).

But I mean that, on both respects. I have plenty of motivators toward the blog today, but if I were to be concise it's pretty much "It's easier to beat games if I liveblog them- otherwise I get distracted and play other games" and "I love sharing experiences and thoughts with people about my favorite thing- games."

Since 2015 I've tackled around 70 games as full playthroughs, and an untold ton as one offs or just to ramble about for a bit.

I've had a lot of highlights over the years, and I don't talk much about it as an overall experience so I thought for the anniversary I'd try to do just that. Not everything- I can't say I have photographic memory that would bring all of it up without prompting after all :P But whatever comes to mind as I browse some of my old stuff- as well as some thoughts on what I'd like to see in the future.

It's gonna be a bit self-centric I assume as I type this preamble to it, so let me say outright that this blog wouldn't be half of what it is without all the people who've given it the time of day over the years.

From recommending games they love or appreciate, to comparing thoughts, to offering kind words for analysis I've done over the years, to pointing out when I'm dumb and misread a situation :P- to, yes, even the people who decided "Fuck this guy's ramble" and deleted my captions before reblogging my gifs way back during Hamtaro (Of COURSE I remember that! It's amusing lol).

This is better because of others, because of the interactions and the people I've gotten the chance to chat with or befriend. It's just a liveblog more or less, my own little bit of fun I toss out for myself if for anyone- so seeing others enjoy this or that from the work I put into sharing my experiences or thoughts is always a joy in itself :)

Anyway, onto selfishly rambling about some tidbits of the past :)

Also sorry but no, opted to not shove a ton of photos in, it does have a handful of links to old posts though :P

This'll be disorganized as heck as I'll add to it over time before I feel it's worth posting (or the tumblr post editor becomes a hassle and more or less forces me to).

First~

FFT Solo Ramza Challenge: Considering it was roughly the first thing this blog has done, it's also something that's stuck in my head a lot more clearly than most of the other stuff I've done to be honest lol.

In truth, this is partially because FFT is my favorite game, bar none. But it's also because the whole experience was pretty new to me. Prior to it I had really only done one self-imposed-challenge that wasn't requested by the game in some manner and that was a nuzlocke run of Blue version.

So adding a challenge to my favorite game was a fantastic experience!

Notes I just wanted to say today about that run: If anyone enjoys FFT I honestly recommend giving it a shot for the unique story it lends itself to. I do recommend skipping the rules until after the second battle but that's up to YOU to decide.

My first post on the subject is me complaining about spending 4 hours grinding out the second fight and, despite hyperbole being my natural state, that was NOT hyperbole.

It DID take 60~ restarts to beat. It DID take 4 hours. The reason is that that 2nd battle is RNG as HECK, you HAVE to have Delita do some meaningful actions, you HAVE to have the enemies miss and make poor plays, you damn near HAVE to crit a few instances to save yourself from taking too much damage.

It's a numbers game to the extreme, so I wouldn't fault anyone for 'cheating' and skipping the 2nd fight for the ruleset lol.

The memory that stands out the most for that run is actually isolated in a post in which Ramza (Purrick in this run) talks like a total badass as just ONE DUDE running into a room full of enemies. I just think on that as a great encapsulated view of what it was like. The run started off face grindingly difficult, but because FFT is a game that offers so much freedom to the player it was extremely easy to 'break' the game into making Purrick overpowered as hell.

That's something I love about some tactical RPGs, I love having the ability to play smart so that I can play stupid later on, and breaking the game into making him one shot god is certainly a good payoff for playing smart early on :P

RetQuick: I miss RetQuick, it was primarily a short experiment I did in 2015 where I'd play a game for a short span of time (REALLY short, like 10-20 minutes) and record that for the purpose of making gifs and saying a short piece on what I thought.

It's one of those formats where the purpose was pretty shallow- but had a reason. I wanted to try making some gifs with some tools that existed online, so I made an excuse to do just that.

I also wanted to play a TON of games, usually through emulation on my sister's PSP, and this let me do that.

These two minor goals came together and so I spent a while making RetQuicks which were honestly more fun to make than they had any right to be. I mean the gifs were tedious but the playing? The thought sharing? The end product ocassionally having more appeal than just a photoset? It was fun.

I'm thinking whenever I have trouble picking a game for the blog I'll revisit the format... sorta.

I already reused it for a short stint to show clips I had no plan on expanding into a playthrough, but that died as well as it was too similar to Tidbits posts (another tag I no longer really use).

My thought is to rebrand retquick as something of a tryout for what game comes next. Play a handful of my backlog games for an hour or so each and say some thoughts before saying which one I'll continue as the main game for that period of time.

Old Tag Stuff: One of those things that only sticks to me since I made the decisions but it's always funny for me to look back on my old posts because I was apprehensive as hell toward making my posts visible. The reason my early playthroughs on the My-Tags page are variants of Ret instead of just "The name of the game so people can find this post" is because I felt like a liveblog would just spam the tag to hell-

Something I don't remotely feel bad for doing anymore.

So I avoided getting any sort of spotlight for quite a while on the blog for little reason.

Why Retphienix?: This is just a dumb thought I wanted to share and I'm sure I've said before.

It stands for retro!

Yeah!

Ain't that dumb and also not a real shorthand? lol

I think I have some sort of deer in headlights anxiety towards naming things, I mean do you think I think Full Impressions is a good summation for a video? I don't. But perhaps that's overshadowed by the other inexperiences and anxiety driven decisions that had- doesn't matter.

Retphienix is Retphienix because I sat there in 2015 and thought "Well... what do I name an alt account?"

My main is Redphienix, which yes, is ALSO a terrible name AND is misspelled. But it's that because of sentimental reasons. As a kid I misspelled Redphoenix when making my gamertag (I knew how to spell Phoenix back then as well, I was too excited about xbox live and misspelled it) and it's become something of a sentimental misspelling.

So I wanted to make a mix on that for my game blog, but I had no idea what. In the end I thought "RetroPhienix? I don't know. Retphienix is closer to Redphienix. I'll do that" and so it was done.

And just like how Redphienix is both bad and misspelled but exists because of sentimental reasons- Retphienix has acquired the same 'flavor' in my eye lol.

Aspirations for the blog: I have no immediate ramp up plans or road map or whatever, and in truth I'll be happy if the blog stays just as it is forever- up until tumblr ends- I cry over lost posts- and I reopen it on another platform.

But I do have blurry half-considered daydreams that I'd like to see happen for the blog through some hard work or shifts on my part.

One is something I'm already doing kinda, hence my embarrassing means of bringing it up a lot lately. Videos- I want those. I wanna make some looks back on series people don't talk about that I enjoy, I want to make videos sharing my thoughts on games I beat for the blog (like what full impressions kinda was, but I don't think they'll have a unified name from here on out). Maybe retrospectives, but mostly when I think of making a video tied to retphienix or me in general it's me looking at a game that said something to me, and saying it louder with my own interpretations on it.

You know the kind, videos where they talk about a video game but not the whole thing- just a singular message they really heard loud and clear from it intentionally or not. I dig those and I know I end a lot of games having plenty to say that could be directed into such a format.

We'll see.

And I'm along for the ride on that one as well- currently I'm keeping my eyes on whatever is directly next, which happens to be "I plan on playing Omori, if it clicks as something to talk about I would like to take a shot at that in a video too!"

The other is that I'd like to build a small community. Wouldn't know the first thing on doing that in a modern sense, but just a little online friend group to chat with and play games together. Something that could open up multiplayer and coop experiences being better shared on the blog and would just in general expand my gaming to what it used to be back on the 360 when I had a large group to play with.

Since the 360 era ended I've pretty much closed off- stopped playing competitive games due to lack of interest- and slowed down to playing all games either solo, with randoms (and no mic usually), or with my cousin. It's a rare instance when I play with some good people like @gamesception or another friend of mine, John.

When I diverted from playing competitive games nonstop toward other genres I didn't intend to also cut out all my online gaming buds, it just kinda happened, and I never really put any effort into rectifying that.

So more or less I'd like to one day sit down and work on a discord server, and then buck up and put the leg work in to make some gamin' buds again, but that's such a vague concept anymore.

Sounds all sad and what not but it's more ambivalent, I made decisions that

changed how gaming worked for me after the 360 and this is just where it landed for better and worse- I'd just like to see if I can make it a little better :P

General things I think when I think retphienix: Honestly? I think of how much fun I've had over the years and how thankful I am to have had an outlet that encouraged me to explore more of the medium.

I REALLY love games. I went to college for games, I've written LEAGUES about games, I've played countless games, my childhood was games, my adult life is games- games games games yada yada yada.

So when I think of retphienix I think of how without it I probably wouldn't have explored a lot of the corners of gaming that I have.

I genuinely, and I mean this, might not have sat down and beaten FF7 for myself and would have considered the amount I played as a kid to be enough.

I might not have played Chrono Trigger yet, and I KNOW I wouldn't have played Chrono Cross, and I'm happy as hell to have played both of those. CT was a mind blowing moment for me that showed me just how good an RPG can be, and CC gave me miles to think of in terms of innovating an RPG and how beholden to the narrative a sequel should be (I don't feel CC should have been chrono at all lol).

I DEFINITELY wouldn't have given New Vegas another chance. And I know I'm a sourpuss on NV, I've been that way since I maxed my achievements on the 360 for it, but replaying it really did reveal to me how exceedingly negative I was being.

My memories had become "It's brown and a boring location >:(" and "The factions all suck and it doesn't do anything with the idea of bad factions >:(" and became "It's... a little brown guys, not a big fan of the area" and "They didn't do enough with exploring the gray factions" while adding "Wait. This is pretty damn fun. And 90% of the additions are stellar. And I forgot about Dead Money, my favorite dlc in any game ever with a story that tears at my heart every time I think of it, NV good actually?"

Faxanadu would have remained a cool game I saw on SSFF and not a game I played to the end and fell in love with the aesthetic feel it has!

Also that's a game I cheated like crazy on lol, I would do it again! Save state scumming games meant to be rudely difficult is only fair :P

I probably would have never sat down to play through Windwaker which was such a positive and uplifting experience that I now get the most relaxed and warm feeling in my heart when I see those blue waves.

There's so many experiences I would have left on the table in favor of like... putting more hours into a live service title or something.

Maybe, and no offense to my cousin or anyone else playing it, but maybe I'd be no-lifing World of Warcraft nonstop just stagnating my interest toward the skinner box mechanics of an MMO?

Some offense, actually but lightheartedly lol.

But beyond the entire games I've played for the blog, when I think retphienix I picture all the time making gifs, all those games I played on the PSP for short stints, buying a retron 5 to add to what I could explore and being stoked when they shipped a freebie box of old controllers to go with it, getting angry at the retron for being a Piece Of Shit lol, crying at the end of damn near every game with an emotional story because I'm a big emotional mess of a person who finds investing and crying at a story way too easy thanks to empathy pulls, oh!-

Getting excited whenever I found that I had a "*controversial*" opinion that no one would care about lol. Like the one that comes to mind is that I thoroughly believe that Dragon Ball Z II: Gekishin Freeza!! for the NES is WAY better than the fandom recognized and appreciated sequel/remake Dragon Ball Z: Legend of the Super Saiyan!

How many people do you hear talking about either game, let alone saying the NES game that is roughly half of the SNES remake is the better one :P But I stand by that! The SNES one is a remake of DBZ1 and 2 for the NES but it loses all the charm and some of the fun of the NES ones by being a lackluster SNES game!

lol

I admitted wholeheartedly that this post would be a lit-

little directionless (gotta love the new tumblr poster making me break sentences like that), but to sum things up.

It's been 6 years. It's been an untold amount of work to be honest- liveblogging a game, at least for me, hasn't been the easiest thing. It's a lot of thinking out my thoughts (heh), it's a lot of learning tools to make the capturing process possible, it's a lot of experimenting, it's a lot of writing and editing, and, well, sometimes it's just tough.

I mean I went to school for coding, not video editing, not writing, not image processing, not this or that- but this hobby has introduced a lot of things even if only at a VERY base level (I admit fully to using online alternatives to make gifs for instance).

I learned a lot about, well, a lot of things in order to use this blog to learn more about games- and all that work has become part of why I've loved all 6 years of this blog.

6 years of gaming, work, and you all- and it's been worth the investment :) Here's to many more and all of you whether you stumble upon this post or not- literally anyone who's interacted in these 6 years, thank you, and anyone who hasn't I offer you well wishes as well.

<3