#tho that might make motivation difficult

[desperatepleasures]

oh nooooo just got hit by the Inadequacies!!!

[toopunkrockforshul]

.

[yardsards]

adulthood is just visiting ur friends, saying "damn bitch, you live like this?" (affectionate) and aggressively helping them clean up while they politely tell you that you don't have to do that. and then having friends do that to you when they visit your apartment.

[salvatwh0re]

I have officially mastered the void

So this morning (afternoon actually) i decided to tap into the void so I did the 61 points yoga nidra meditation with a subliminal. I didn’t really need the subliminal I was just using it cause my headphones are somewhat noise cancelling and my family was awake so I didn’t want to get distracted. But the meditation was really relaxing. At first I had some trouble staying focused but then I reminded myself why I was doing this and what I was doing it for. So it kept me motivated. After that i affirmed a little bit then I counted down from 100 and then I affirmed some more then I got bored of affirming so i started visualizing and then I got bored of that so I just decided to focus on the darkness behind my eyelids.

I never really took that advice from people when they said it helped cause I didn’t believe them but it actually worked. Out of everything else I did that was the one thing that sent me straight to the void. I think for the most part it was just letting go of that desperate feeling i always have when I try to enter. I always feel like I’m forcing myself to do it so I just let go and kind of forgot about what I was doing while still keeping that intention.

I was getting pretty anxious tho because of the time so I just got out but i did it again and it sent me straight to the void again. So now I know the secret to getting into the void is to just let go of that desperation and to stop forcing yourself, just let it happen. If you feel you’ve affirmed enough stop affirming, if you feel you’ve focused on your breathing enough, go back to your automatic breathing pattern STOP FORCING YOURSELF IT WILL GET YOU NOWHERE!!

and I know a lot of people stress about not being aware in the void and not affirming for your desires but stressing over that is exactly what’s going to make you forget tbh. When you let go of that desperation you let go of those other doubts too, those things that were stopping you from getting there in the first place. I feel like removing yourself from those thoughts is really effective in getting you what you want.

I will say it might help to have a list of things you want either written down or set in your mind because it will be a lot easier to remember what you’re going to affirm. When you’re in the void or even before you tap in completely you’re supposed to be super relaxed so it might be a little difficult to bring up those thoughts but because of how different the void is from the 3D it’s kind of hard to forget. Especially if you’ve been trying for a long time.

The void isn’t really something you question, you know for sure you’re in cause you can’t hear feel see taste or smell anything so it’s pretty identifiable. And because you’ve reminded yourself over and over that that’s what the void feels like, once you feel it you’re going to be like OHHH ok now i know to affirm for my desires. You’ve been training your brain to associate the void with your desires so of course once you recognize that you’re in you’re going to remember to affirm for your desires.

Also I don’t really like using the term void personally, but it’s what I learned it as. I feel like calling it the void just makes it sound so otherworldly and extraterrestrial and scary tbh. I think that’s what was holding me back as well, fear. I know that Neville Goddard refers to it as the I AM state which is a perfect name for it because it really is a state of just BEING like you’re not worried about anything else other than yourself and that’s the beauty of it. I would go on more cause there’s so much I can say but overall i hope you just let you go of that desperation so that you can finally push through and get everything you’ve been wanting because you deserve it.

[misc-obeyme]

Ah, you want lucifer sub? I have another idea for you then! Feel free to ignore if you had enough nsfw drabbles tho lol Theres a card in NB where lucifer tries to force mc a truth apple or whatchamacallit to see who mc really is, but Beel ended up eating it instead. Anyway in p4 he tries to earn mc's forgiveness by going to the castle for barb's cooking. What if then, at the table, mc remembers that in the og timeline, lucifer and mc constantly played with shibari on each other? Hmm... So then, that's his punishment. Early Avatar of Pride, getting tied up in his own room. Blindfolded Anyway, hope you like the idea. 🍄 Love you CC

Augh, 🍄 anon, shibari is like one of my favorite things ever. It just looks so pretty!?!? And Lucifer is also very pretty????

Yes, I thoroughly enjoyed writing this. I do have that card and remembered this particular Devilgram. It had an excellent line from Barb that I took the time to screenshot and then forgot about until much later. Something about having cake, I don't remember exactly. It's in my posts somewhere lol.

Anyway! Sub!Lucifer is everything to me, so here he is. I like the idea of NB Lucifer specifically not understanding why he trusts MC. He even says in the Devilgram something about how there was a connection between them the moment MC showed up. But this is a minor detail, I just find it interesting.

GN!MC x Lucifer

NSFW MDNI

Warnings: sub!Lucifer, dom!MC, shibari, blindfold, praise, hand job

Lucifer held himself incredibly still. He would not squirm. He would not give you the satisfaction.

It was difficult. He wanted to give in already.

You had spent quite some time carefully tying the black and red ropes around his body. Securing knots, ensuring they were tight but not too tight. Perhaps he should have been anxious as you brought his hands behind his back and tied them in place. Perhaps he should have been concerned when you tied the blindfold over his eyes. Perhaps he should have been worried about how vulnerable he was allowing himself to be with you.

And perhaps he was all of those things. But the fire it ignited in his belly was too powerful to ignore. The thrill of your touch, the way his skin tingled any time you brushed your fingers against it. Knowing that you were seeing him completely exposed, that he was entirely at your mercy, that you were in control of him in a way no one else has ever been.

The ropes rubbed against him, an uncomfortably pleasing sensation. The blindfold was his own tie, which you had utilized for this purpose and its soft silkiness was an exciting contrast to the harsher feeling of the ropes.

When you were finished, you moved away and left him there.

Lucifer was kneeling on his own bed, tied up and blindfolded, waiting for you to touch him again.

He couldn't see himself, but he could imagine the sight. You seemed to already know the intricacies of shibari. The pattern was elegant and complex - turning him into a sensual work of art.

Lucifer waited. He could be patient. He refused to let you see just how affected he was. He couldn't do anything about his obvious erection, which was straining. But he would keep the rest of himself as composed as possible.

"So," you said and your voice was close. "Are you sorry for trying to get me to eat that apple?"

Lucifer hesitated. "I've let you tie me up and blindfold me, haven't I? Is that not proof enough?"

"I won't make you say it," you said. "I could see it in your eyes as I was tying you up. You trust me, don't you? Despite being suspicious of who I am and what my motives might be, you still trust me."

Lucifer frowned. "I don't-"

You pressed a finger to his lips. "You don't need to lie about it. You can trust me, Lucifer. I promise."

Lucifer was about to disagree with you, but whatever he might have said left his mind immediately as you took his cock in your hand. He sucked in a breath. Your hand felt soft, slightly damp with your sweat, which soon mingled with his precum.

Lucifer's resolve not to squirm crumbled. He couldn't hold perfectly still now, his hips moving involuntarily to thrust into your hand. He bit his lip, determined at least not to moan.

"Don't do that," you said, putting your thumb on his lower lip and pulling it gently out of his teeth. "Let me hear you."

Lucifer felt his skin grow hot as the moan he'd been trying to hold back escaped him. As soon as it did, it was as though a dam had broken and he couldn't stop making noise.

"Ah," he cried. "MC, please, ah!"

"Good boy," you said sweetly. "Now come for me."

Lucifer immediately came all over your hand, a strangled cry ripping itself from his throat as he did. Lucifer was panting, his body's muscles relaxing, but he was still tied up so stiffly, he couldn't go anywhere. You allowed him to lean on you long enough to catch his breath.

Lucifer quickly learned that he was far from done with his apology and it was much later into the night before you were willing to forgive him.

masterlist | Thank you for reading!

[7ndipity]

Them With Pregnant S/o Hcs

Namjoon x Reader, Jimin x Reader

Summary: How they would look after their S/o during pregnancy and interact with the baby bump.

Warnings: mentions of morning sickness,

A/N: Thanks to the lovely anons who requested these! I hope you like them!

Masterlist

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Namjoon:

He’s so excited when you tell him, but also so scared. He worries a lot about being a good dad, and being a good partner to you, but I think he lets those nerves motivate him to be the best version of himself that he can be for the both of you.

He’s so unbelievably careful with you, bordering on fearful at times to even touch you, though once you remind him that you’re not that fragile, he tries to ease up a bit.

Develops a sudden love for back hugs where he can support both you and them at the same time, able to feel the subtle differences in your growing bump as they develop.

He finds himself talking to them a lot. Sometimes at night when he can’t get his mind to quiet, he’ll ramble to them about different things while you sleep on, totally unaware.

He’s definitely a nervous planner, researching everything from different birthing techniques to the shortest routes to the hospital to which brand of diapers are the best.

Refuses to let you do almost anything around the house as you get closer to your due date and things get more difficult for you(tho you might have to follow him around and talk him through everything, cause he’s kinda lost)

Super attentive to your every need, whether it’s looking after you during morning sickness or tracking down any random cravings you might have.

Takes choosing the right name for them very seriously(but ends up picking their name in moment when he’s holding them for the first time)

Sometimes you catch him just staring at you, as if he can’t really believe that this is actually real, that you’re carrying his child.

Jimin:

When you told him you were going to be parents, he was so overwhelmed with joy, he could not stop crying, just hugging you tightly and thanking you over and over.

Has a tendency to just sit and rest his hands or drum his fingers on your tummy, even before your bump starts showing. It almost becomes a stem or self soothing thing for him.

When they start kicking back whenever he does it though, he’s a crying mess all over again.

Gives them cute nicknames like Lil Bean, Minmin, Moonlight.

He worries about you a lot, even if you’re not having any/many issues or difficulties, he can’t help fussing over you constantly.

(Lowkey horrified by how much you have to go through during and after pregnancy and thinks you’re one of the strongest people ever)

Tries to help you as much as possible as your belly gets bigger and things get more difficult to do, whether that’s taking on more of the household chores or just tying your shoes for you in the morning.

Kisses your bump everyday and tells them goodmorning/goodnight.

Likes to lay in bed with you at night talking to the both of you, making plans for all the things you want to do together once they arrive(their first spring and going to see the cherry blossoms, decorating your christmas tree together, etc)

Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan @captainorangegoose @k4ngelz

[barelymaddy]

Aries and where you are the most independent

×Please take into consideration that what i talk about in this post may be affected by your other placements and aspects×

Aries 1h-You are overall independent and have a strong sense of identity!You knew who you were from a very young age and your ideas and the way you present yourself are very unique.You got a pioneer spirit and might be a trend setter(without even knowing🤭).On a darker note,you might have been ostracized or even bullied growing up for your uniqueness and people tend to react in an agressive way to your ideas.

Aries 2h-You are financially independent(or will be)!But even as a child,you knew how to manage your money and things.You don't need somebody else to tell you your worth,as you have a lot of trust in yourself.You might also have a very unique voice that makes you stand out.The negative side here is that you don't know how to ask for help,be it money matters or a boost of confidence.You might also find that your values are very different from the ones of your peers.

Aries 3h-You are an independent thinker!You might also be an only child or the older sibling.On rare occasions,you might've grew up in a neightborhood where there weren't many children besides yourself.You are a very fast thinker and always come up with new ideas.The negative side is that you had a very different way of learning from your classmates and in class,you either felt bored or left behind.This placement also makes it hard for you to collaborate with other people and might indicate a dangerous or aggresive environment(school or neightborhood).

Aries 4h-You are independent from your family!In my opinion,its a pretty difficult placement to have,as you didn't grew up with a sense of unity in your family and no matter the circumstances its hard for you to truly feel like you belong.Might also indicate a violent childhood and family life,usually from the mother's part.On a brighter note,the independence you were taught in your childhood will help you later on in your adult life,as your already know your way around things.Also,you might find that you will create a "soul family" later on in life with people you care about,so don't lose hope,you are not alone!

Aries 5h-You are independent in your hobbies!You don't need other people to enjoy yourself and just like aries 3h,you might have been an only child.(For 18+)You don't mind the idea of quick flings and are a pretty adventurous person on this part.You might have had a few partners throughout your life.Allthough you are not really good at "being part of a team",you are very creative and are good at expressing yourself in a very unique way.The negative side here is that you often feel lonely when it comes to your interests,as not many people from your area share the same prefrences and skills as you,and others often feel the need to compete with you in any activity you do.

Aries 6h-You are independent in your daily routine!Even as a child,you were left to deal with things on your own,especially when it comes to health matters.You needed to learn how to schedule appointments and take care of yourself,all on your own.On the good side,your body is vey healthy and you are very intuitive when it comes to your needs.When it comes to your work environment,the people are competitive and often times,you are left on your own,not having many colleagues friends,but you are a very hard worker and its not hard for you to get a promotion if you really put your mind to it.Overall,its not hard for you to find motivation in your day-to-day life.

Aries 7h-You are independent in your relationships!Allthough your partnerships might suffer a lot because of that.You are not one to always think about love and relationships and are pretty happy on your own.Even tho this might make you a bit sellfish at times.Its pretty difficult for you to express your affection in relationships,and often tease your partners.Nonetheless,you are a very dedicated and protective lover and will always fight for love once you find it.Also,you might not really like the idea of "bussines partners" and you prefer to work by yourself.

Aries 8h-You are independent when it comes to your vulnerability!Not many people were there for you when you felt exausted or just needed a good cry,and that made you very closed off.This also made you hyper-independent in your romatic relationships and friendships.You were often left to deal with your "demons" on your own,and this made you pretty scared of your shadow side.When it comes to your shared resources,you might often find yourself as the provider in your relationships.(For 18+)Also,you might have a few kinks that you don't share with other people you know(BDSM,hair-pulling, scratching etc.)

Aries 9h-You are an independent learner!Your most important experiences and adventures are done by yourself.You didn't really had a lot of people to learn from when you were younger and had to teach yourself many things.Especially when it comes to your interests.Your belief-system was also formed based on this.You grew up thinking you NEED to be independent at all costs,and that made you a bit fickle as a person.You might also be/have been very independent in university or college,meaning you most probably had a job and payed for your things with your own money.If not,this was the time when your sense of independence was formed.

Aries 10h-You are independent in your career!And since this is the MC,you might also have a reputation of being independent.Your long-term goals don't usually include other people(so relationships are not one of your aspirations).Also,your career might require you to be independent.Another thing would be that your father taught you how to be independent(it depends on your relationship if in a healthy way or a neglectful way).

Aries 11h-You are independent in social groups!You will often find that your goals and dreams are different from those of your peers,and this means that the path you took to get to them was pretty lonely.You also find riots to be very important,as you often fight against the system.You have the power to reshape and change the world,but that will usually be done by yourself.Also,you are pretty independent from your friendgroups or any social community.You don't like to identify yourself as part of something and often this means that you have a lot of friends but never one main friend group.

Aries 12h-You are independent in your beliefs!Some themes here are pretty similar to those of aries 9h,as they are both Jupiter houses!You will find that your beliefs about spirituality,the afterlife and the way your subconcious works will be pretty different from the ones of other people and this will often put you in tense situations where you will have to fight for what you believe in,as you will be challenged a lot.On a darker note,you might live in a constant fight or flight mode and have mental health issues.Whenever a chapter of your life ends you will also feel pretty alone,and might have the tendency to retreat yourself.You are also scared to share your secrets with other people or rely on them for that matter,which further leads to your "i'm on my own,i need to be independent" attitude.You will also find that a lot of your dreams will have themes related to independence.

[another-lost-mc]

Gonna be completely honest tho. Like yes they are hot in the vampire au but I would be terrified. Like I hate needles and all of that and idk I just feel like I'd be too freaked out for it to be enjoyable? Does that make sense??

A/N: Honestly, same here, anon. lol I think my own MC would find the whole situation exhausting mentally if not physically. There's a lot of valid reasons why any MC might not want to get caught up in this whole mess.

In a lighthearted vampire AU, the characters might feel that vampirism is more of a nuisance than anything else. Ultimately, I think they'd still try to prioritize MC's wishes and comfort over their own needs. It would motivate them to find an alternative solution for blood/feeding (especially if it were a long-term/permanent condition).

This Sucks! | Why They Don't Want to be Vampires Vampire!DEMON BROTHERS x gn!Reader, 0.5k words, SFW Content warnings: references to canon-typical vampire behaviours including biting/blood-drinking. More from the vampire!au

─── LUCIFER

Lucifer doesn’t like depending on anyone for anything. This would be an extra burden for you personally, and the last thing he wants is for life at his side with them to be even more challenging. His brothers would be unbearable if he tried to claim your blood for himself, and he knows in his heart he doesn’t want to share you. (A trivial concern is that his fondness for Demonus, even a blood-infused version of it, might be ruined by vampirism—it’s one of the few luxuries he allows himself to indulge in.)

─── MAMMON

Mammon's too greedy to share you. If you don’t want to donate your blood, that’s even better—that way no one gets to feed from you! He’s also going to be busy figuring out how he can capitalize on blood alternatives if the condition isn’t temporary.

─── LEVIATHAN

Levi's disappointed because vampires in anime are so hot cool, but he’s intimidated by the physical intimacy of it. Oh, and he hates the thought of others wanting to feed from you too. (What if you compare them and you prefer feeding the others more than him?!)

─── SATAN

Human pop culture is so inconsistent with their monster lore. Satan understands that the reality of feeding a vampire (or in this case, seven of them) is daunting and less appealing than the fictional version you've read about or seen in movies. Besides, he has enough anger management issues to deal with—bloodlust would be an extra hassle. He's one of the first to volunteer to find a better a solution for feeding if the vampirism is permanent.

─── ASMODEUS

Asmo doesn’t want to drink anyone’s blood. Wouldn’t it make his breath smell? What if it gets all over his clothes? If he drinks from you in his bed, the stains might ruin his expensive Devilmoth silk sheets! He might seem superficial about it, but his biggest complaint is the possibility that feeding might scar you or hurt you in some way. Leaving his mark on you sounds appealing, but not like that—especially if you're already hesitant about the idea. (He's secretly worried one of the others might try to talk you into something you don't want to do, and he wants to make sure his own judgement isn't clouded so he can help protect you.)

─── BEELZEBUB

Beel has so many issues with hunger and self-control that the thought of being hungry for your blood upsets him a lot. He’s so scared of hurting you, and when he’s out of control with hunger it's difficult to stop him. What if the others can’t subdue him in time? What if—? No, he doesn’t even want to think about it.

─── BELPHEGOR

Belphie assumes that drinking blood would act like a stimulant, so the last thing he wants is to feed from you. Why would he do something that makes him more energized and makes you tired in the process? (He’s not sure he can convince you to only feed him, and the idea of having to share you with the others—except for maybe Beel—is intolerable.)

[absolutebl]

I just finished Triage and was pretty impressed with the plot. Altho I mostly love love-centered BLs/QLs, it made me realize I really like plot-heavy ones (especially action/thriller/mystery) if they're done well. Can you look through what I've seen and let me know if I'm missing any good ones?

Ones I thought succeeded to varying extents: Triage, Not Me, Manner of Death, 3 Will Be Free, The Eclipse, Pit Babe, The Sign

Ones I thought fell short plot-wise (but still kinda appreciated for trying): KinnPorsche, Playboyy, Laws of Attraction

(And I've seen others with actiony/mystery plots but I consider the romantic plot to be more dominant so I don't think of them the same way: Long Time No See, Candy Colored Paradox, Kiseki Dear to Me, Never Let Me Go etc...hope that makes my ask clearer....)

Thanks! Appreciate you!

I live for this shit!

Plot heavy (driven) BL/QL

(external motivation)

Liked:

Triage *

Not Me *

Manner of Death *

3 Will Be Free *

The Eclipse

Pit Babe

The Sign

The ones I put an * by are ones that I barely consider BL because they are so very plot heavy.

It's Okay:

KinnPorsche

Playboyy

Laws of Attraction

Also seen, but more romance

Long Time No See

Candy Colored Paradox

Kiseki Dear to Me

Never Let Me Go

Hum, difficult, because I see very little difference between Pit Babe and KP and Kiseki. So I'm gonna spitball a bunch of BL that edges into gay romantic suspense (or in some cases horror / PNR) and see if any hit. These will mostly be Thailand, only Taiwan also dabbles in this sub-genre, and rarely (because of the expense).

He's Coming to Me

Dear Doctor, I'm Coming for Your Soul (similar team as Triage so def worth trying, it's PNR tho)

Great Men Academy (an odd pick but I think it might work for you)

HIStory 3: Trapped (the first one I thought of after reading your ask)

Golden Blood

To Sir, With Love (more of a soap opera)

Because of You

Ghost Host Ghost House (more horror than suspense)

Chinese stuff:

My Esports Genius Brother (it's WILD)

Word of Honor (censored)

The Untamed (censored)

Guardian (censored)

SCI Mysteries (censored)

Advance Bravely (censored)

Legend of Long Yang: Rebirth

This is one of the few times I'll rec this because this is kinda China's BL speciality and one of the many reasons the censorship is so annoying. Their product is quality... sigh. Bummer it also has to be evil.

Not as much suspense + action but stil external motivation + complex plot (earned romantic threads)

AKA Korea can play, too.

Color Rush

Until We Meet Again

Love For Love's Sake

I Feel You Linger in the Air

La Pluie

Unintentional Love Story

Tinted With You

Vice Versa

My Dear Gangster Oppa

DNA Says Love You

Be My Favorite

Stay By My Side

Two Worlds

The End Of The World, With You AKA Bokura no Micro na Shuumatsu

First Love Again

Twins

Oh! My Sunshine Night

Cupid's Last Wish

Absolute Zero

So Much In Love (PULP warning)

(These tend to be my personal favorite style of BL. Although some are much less successful than others, in order with best ones at the top.)

[bagopucks]

J. Hughes - Need You Now [Lady A]

✄————————————

Jack Hughes x Fem!dancer!reader

Requested✨

Word Count: 5.4k

Warning(s); that good ‘ol fluffy madness

This is getting proofread again when I wake up. Again, song in the title is the song of choice for this fic. Not set in stone tho <3

—————————————

Mondays had become a routine. I got up. I texted Jack. We go to school, we hung out. He goes to hockey, I go to dance. We meet up at the Hughes household after, and spend the rest of the evening together.

When Jack and I first got together, we took note of our busy schedules. He had his own hobbies, and I had mine. That being said, our proximity to one another made dating much easier than first expected. Our relationship worked best because of that proximity. And sure, we may have always been exhausted after attending our own practices and rehearsals, but being exhausted together was better than being exhausted apart.

Ellen made late dinners, considering her boys all got home from hockey at a later hour in the evening, but it was a schedule I’d grown comfortable with on Monday afternoons.

I’d been over at the Hughes household helping Ellen with dinner, but I slipped away at the sound of the front door opening. Luke bounded in first, and I playfully rubbed his hair as we passed each other. He was on the hunt for his mother. As was Quinn, who passed by me shortly after with a quick greeting. I chuckled. Jim stepped inside after Jack, and my smile faltered ever so slightly when I saw the looks on both of their faces.

I hesitated. I knew those looks. Jim gave his son a careful pat on the shoulder before locking the door and walking through the house. Jack’s eyes followed his father before they landed on me. He looked defeated. I wasn’t sure what to make of it.

“Hey?” I greeted in question, and watched as he approached. He dropped his hockey bag on the floor. It didn’t take long for him to wrap his arms around me.

“Practice didn’t go so well?” Jim was a good father, but like most sports dads, he could be a bit hard on his kids. Especially when they had big dreams. Quinn was in the process of being looked at by NHL scouts, and Jack -while spoken of by the league- had gotten a hockey scholarship offer from the university of Michigan. He had plans for the NHL too, but either way, he had to keep his skills sharp for both. Which was what Jimmy was always tough on the boys about.

Of all three, I wouldn’t lie. I’d expect Jack to have a lazy practice here and there. Sometimes he just didn’t feel like it, and unlike his brothers, he never pushed through when he was lacking in motivation. It’s something that’s always frustrated his father. Sometimes Jack just couldn’t be bothered to do things.

“I have a headache,” Jack mumbled into my shoulder. I nodded and stroked the back of his head before pulling away.

“Dinner’s almost ready.” It was the only thing I could think of that was going to cheer him up. I grabbed Jack’s hand before I led him into the kitchen, and I could tell Jim must have gotten on him pretty badly by the way Quinn and Luke both tensed when we entered. Like they were afraid Jack just might implode.

“Hey, sweetie! Since when did we start greeting your girlfriend before me?” Ellen teased softly as Jack found his way over to her. He leaned into her side as she gave him a half hug. She picked up on her middle child’s emotional funk as well, and pressed a gentle kiss to his temple before she patted his back as a signal to step away so she could move a pot full of sauce off the stove.

Ellen was just as liable to get on her kids about laziness and a lack of effort. She was a sports parent too. But nothing was worse than hearing it from your dad. And Ellen knew better than anybody that her husband and Jack got into arguments at times. Jack just wanted to be understood, and Jimmy just wanted Jack to understand. He was the difficult kid. By no means were any of her three boys problematic, but Jack definitely put up the most hassle.

“Quinn, why don’t you set the table for me?” Ellen piped up, and earned a nod from her oldest.

Sometimes I found it a miracle that she and Jimmy had managed to raise such obedient kids. Especially after having three boys.

Once the table was set and the food all laid out, Ellen travelled upstairs to find her husband, and I was seated at the table with the three Hughes brothers. I usually sat down at the opposite end of the table from Jim, closest to Jack. Ellen’s place was across from her oldest boy and diagonal to her husband. At the head of the table I felt I could see and speak to everybody from a good angle. Jimmy agreed with me on that.

“Alrighty.” Ellen eventually stepped into the kitchen with a bright smile, but there was tension behind it. I had no doubt she and Jimmy spoke about Jack. He followed in behind her. He looked slightly more jovial than before. Which I was thankful for, because when I turned around to look back at Luke and Quinn, they seemed to overlook the facades of their parents, and they relaxed.

Food was served and conversation was struck up. What was discussed at school, who was taking what tests, and how grades were looking. I chimed in here and there, but I knew the conversation was more of a ‘catch up’ for the parents and their boys than it was for me.

Still, Ellen made a point to praise me for my own good grades and accomplishments. She always wanted me to feel included and welcome.

“How was dance today?” The conversation shifted, and I found frustrations from earlier in the day dawning on me again. I rested my fork on my plate and sigh. Whichever sets of eyes were on food, had quickly set on me. Concern and curiosity in the faces of the family I’d grown to love.

“It was good. We got paired up for group routines today. The guy I got paired with wasn’t there today, and usually that’s fine, but he called in to say he was in the hospital for a stupid broken foot and now I don’t have a partner.. the class is an uneven number now.” I tried not to sound too tense. I’d hate to ruin the family dinner with my own problems.

Jim leaned forward with a smile, and I couldn’t help but wonder what was about to slip past his lips. I loved Ellen. I loved her with all my heart, but Jim and I had the relationship I always wished I had with my own dad. His jokes could cheer me up on a cloudy day when it’s hailing and pouring all at the same time.

“Can’t imagine you’ll have much issue dancing alone, eh?” I smiled. I knew what he meant. I’d won many competitions in the past. I was one of the most skilled in my studio.

“That’s not the point though,” I chuckled and shook my head. “It’s a group routine where everybody is paired. If I don’t have a partner, I can’t be in the routine.” I playfully sassed, and earned a quiet chuckle from the man across the table, as well as his wife. Quinn smiled, but he was never one to give me the gratification of knowing I made him laugh. So he tried to hide his face in his shoulder.

Jack was eyeing me, but he didn’t say much. I cast him a glance before I moved my foot beneath the table to nudge him.

“Well you’ve got three boys here. How hard is the routine for the boy parts?” Ellen asked, and I heard the clinking of various stainless steel silverware pieces on glass dishes before my head whipped to the three who were staring wide eyed at their mother. Jim coughed on a laugh at his boys.

“It’s not impossible.” I answered and watched as the boys slowly looked at me.

“So? Jack? Why don’t you do it with her?” Ellen’s encouraging words earned an uncertain gaze from her son.

“I don’t know, mom..” Jack looked back down at his plate, and I saw his two brothers visibly relax once they thought they were out of the danger zone.

“I think that’s not a bad idea.” Jim chimed in, and I stiffened when I saw him make eye contact with his son. There was subtext in his words that I didn’t understand. That had to do with whatever they were tense over when they came in the house. I watched Jack as he grew uncomfortable again. He looked away. He looked shameful.

“I just don’t think I’d be very good at it.” His words made me smile and nod. I didn’t want to upset him further by arguing.

“It’s really fine. I wouldn’t mind sitting out on it.” I shrugged as I tried to find the right words to deescalate the conflict that had been slowly rising at the table. I heard Quinn sigh.

“I’ll help if you want me to.”

My brow shot up in surprise. I smirked.

“Quinn Hughes? You’d wear tights? For me?” I teased him, and heard his mother giggling when he glared at me.

“I’m out if tights are involved.” I knew his words held no true threat. Quinn would have worn the girliest leotard in existence if I needed him to. He was always there for me.

“What about me? Maybe I wanna help.” Luke joined in, simply because he felt left out of the conversation. His input surprised everybody. It even managed to earn him a look from Jack. Jack, who was usually quick to make a joke. Especially in a moment when he would have the chance to call his younger brother a ‘little girl.’ Instead it was Quinn doing so.

“Woah bud.. didn’t realize you were so interested in wearing tutus.” Quinn gently patted his brother on the back. Luke rolled his eyes.

“Luke. I love you, but I don’t think you’d last a minute in my dance class.” He looked offended at the fact that I had ganged up on him with his brother.

At that point, Ellen had a hand over her mouth and she was desperate to stop herself from laughing at her kids. Jimmy wasn’t to the point of laughter, but I could see his smile out of the corner of my eyes.

“You guys suck.” Luke mumbled, out of the goodness of his heart, and he stood to take his empty plate to the sink.

“Luke, be nice.” Ellen had quickly scolded, through quiet bouts of laughter.

“Take my plate while you’re at it, Lukey.” Quinn handed his plate over, and eventually everybody had given their plates and silverware over to Luke, except for Jack, who was still picking at his food despite his mood.

“Alright Luke. It’s rematch night.” Quinn spoke excitedly as he left the kitchen dining area, followed by the youngest after the plates were in the sink. I could hear them moving things in the living room, a thud, then a quiet ow.

“Quinn! Let your brother use the player one controller!” Ellen jumped up from the table, going to solve the problem between her boys before it escalated.

I spared a glance at Jimmy, who nodded at me in understanding before he stood and took the empty drink glasses to the sink. He stepped out of the kitchen soon after, going to be the backup his wife needed.

It gave me a moment with Jack.

“Hey, bud.” I leaned forward and rested my pointer and index finger under his chin to tilt his head upwards. He was reluctant to make eye contact with me, but he did so anyway.

“What’s up?” It was a general question, not necessarily asking what was upsetting him, but more so what had been on his mind.

“I don’t want Quinn to dance with you.” I noded and smiled at Jack as I reached for his hand.

“You never answered my question earlier.” Jack huffed and shrugged his shoulders. Frustration was bubbling up.

“No. I didn’t want to be there.” At practice. “And.. I got a bad grade on the stupid algebra test. My dad’s all over me for it.. I just- I don’t get it.” I gently squeezed his hand. He hated math. I knew he did. He hated feeling stupid too.

“I told you I’d help.” I whispered, carefully angling my seat to face his as I leaned forward and rested one of my elbows on my knee.

“I know,” his voice was quieter than mine, and I could tell he was disappointed in himself for not reaching out.

“Ya know what I find helps best when I’m stressed?” I flashed him a playful smile. Jack eyed me.

“Dancing.” I tried to coax him into helping me. As much as I appreciated Quinn’s offer to dance with me, I wouldn’t have as much fun with him as I would with Jack.

“You really want me to do that with you?” The middle brother sounded unconvinced.

“You’ll be the most handsome boy out there..” flattery was a tactic I saved for a rainy day with this boy. It didn’t take a lot to convince him of something, but a few compliments never hurt.

“God… you’re so pushy.” His dramatics made me laugh. But they were a telltale sign I had him in the palm of my hand, and that he was feeling a bit better.

“C’mon, Hughes. I’d be your left winger if you ever needed it.” I reasoned and watched him smile.

“I’d never ask you to do that.. you might get hurt.” I rolled my eyes and pulled away to lean back in my chair. I folded my arms across my chest, awaiting his final answer. He could tell I was.

“Fine. But I’m a horrible dancer. Like.. the shittiest dancer you’ll ever meet.” He whispered, not wanting to get caught cursing. It made me laugh.

“Can’t talk your way out of this Hughes. You’re my partner now.”

——————

I don’t know why I asked Jack to do this. It was a risky decision really. I hadn’t seen him dance yet, but just stepping into the studio with him in tow had everybody looking. He was an attractive boy, but he was my boy. It was only worse that Jack thought it best to wear compression pants under his shorts. He looked good. He looked great even. I had always loved the way those pants fit him, but I didn’t anticipate all the other girls loving the way his pants fit him too.

Jack was unbothered by the stares. I showed him where to kick his shoes off and where to leave his things before we stepped into the empty studio. My teacher was upstairs and I wanted a moment to actually stretch him out before he made a fool of himself in front of everybody else. Aside from that, I had a good feeling Dance stretches were not going to benefit him as much as his usual hockey stretches, considering he’d have no clue how to do any of mine. I kicked the door shut and watched him look around.

“The mirrors are- they’re a little much… don’t you think?” I always loved the way Jack’s voice sounded when he was nervous.

“It’s so we can all see each other. I promise you’ll be fine.” I walked around behind him and dragged my hand across his back as I went. I was hopeful some physical contact would help him relax.

“You do some hockey stretches first, yeah? Dance stretching is a little weird.. I don’t think you’ll be any good at it.”

Jack nodded, and joined me on the floor, side by side. We did our own things, but we did them together. He looked so focused that I couldn’t help but giggle every once and I while when I looked at him in the mirror.

“Quinn wouldn’t last a second in here.” Jack finally struck up conversation, and I found his confidence amusing.

“Class hasn’t started, hun. I’d wait before you start talking like that.” I slowly stood up and made my way over while he was doing his own version of what was usually considered a frog stretch. His knees were tucked up beneath his body as opposed to stretched out behind himself. The hockey players always did it that way, and I’m sure they had their own methods to their madness.

“Lean forward?” I rested my hands on his back and pushed down gently while I let Jack do most of the work. He stopped when his face was still a foot from the floor. I rubbed his shoulders and laughed softly at the sigh he let out.

“You have to breathe through it. Doesn’t help if you hold your breath.” He nodded, but he didn’t listen to a word I said. He still held his breath. I assumed if I made him keep the position long enough, he’d learn, but when the door opened, I quickly stood upright. Jack unfolded and leaned back against my legs to catch his breath.

“Mrs. Jenny.” I greeted, the dark haired teacher shot me a wave in return before her eyes trailed down to the boy who fought for his breath and rubbed his legs, leaned back against my own.

“Is this one of Ellen Hughes’ boys?” Her question caught me and Jack off guard.

“Yeah?” Uncertainty laced my tone.

“Oh my god-“ the rest of the class poured in, just as confused as I was. “Are you Jack?” She walked over, and Jack hoisted himself to his feet to shake her hand, nodding to her question.

“I met you when you were like.. four.. Ellen and I used to be so close.” Jenny looked him up and down, bewildered. Like most random people were when they saw a kid they hadn’t seen in a while. And of course, Jack looked as uncomfortable as he could possibly get.

“Then she had Luke and just got so busy. It’s a thrill to have one of her kids here. I always assumed it might be Luke.”

Jack and I both laughed. We saved that information to torture Luke with later.

“You’re gonna be a fun pair to work with.”

——————

And it seemed we were. Jenny got Jack and I on an individual schedule. One that worked around my normal dance classes and one that worked around his hockey practices. She was beaming every time she stepped into the studio and got to work with us, and Jack seemed to love her as much as I always did. Jack admitted to me that the classes were fun, and even helped with the hockey burnout he’d been experiencing. When I spent nights in the Hughes household, I could only assume the classes were helping, seeing as the tension between Jack and his father was practically nonexistent.

I found myself occasionally stumbling over our dance when I looked up into the mirror, only to spot that bright smile on Jack’s lips he gets when he knows he’s got the hang of something. He was so distracting, the way his eyes lit up and his hair bounced. Jenny invited Ellen in one day to watch, but Jack insisted she didn’t see a thing. Ellen tried her best to get her son to give in, but Jack shut her out of the studio and pulled the blinds in the window. He knew his mother well enough to know she’d have videos. And then his brothers would have them.

I had to remind him that he was only prolonging his fate.

Eventually, Jack and I got the hang of not only the dance, but the mental link of communication that came with it. Our rehearsals went from Jenny interrupting every so often or her spending the bulk of her time on Jack, to her sitting back and watching us. Critiquing at the end of each run through, and helping us perfect what we had.

At the end of the week, we were professionals. Jenny got such a kick out of watching us, consistently praising our chemistry and professing her love for instructing a young couple. Jack and I never had responses for that, but it always made us blush.

When the practices ended, and it came up on the eventual public performance, Jack and I were clearing out the living room in the Hughes house to go over everything.

“Jack!” I shouted through laughter. A light tug on my arm caused me to fall into step and twirl into his side. We’d stopped rehearsing close to an hour ago. At this point, we were goofing off to the song that was playing through his phone. He was laughing too, with an arm wrapped around my side while he swayed us back and forth.

“I’m by your side,” he sang horribly in my ear, causing me to pull away and push him.

“God Jack, shut your mouth.” I giggled and allowed him to grab my hand and pull me back in. He rested his other hand on my hip as he continued to ‘serenade’ me. His voice was flat. He was a horrible singer. But in my mind he sounded prettier than the birds.

“Our friends would all make fun of us…” I rolled my eyes at him. If you can’t beat them, join them.

“The world will never ever be the same!” I quickly joined in, and soon we were yelling the lyrics, our motion ceased as we stood and held each other, heads thrown back to deliver the lyrics of the soft song to the ceiling.

Neither of us heard the quiet thudding on the steps, or Quinn’s frustrated grumbling, until he was in the living room doorway, glaring daggers at us. Jack noticed him first, my back was turned to him. When I saw the look on my boyfriend’s face, I quickly moved to get a view of his older brother.

“I’m trying to study, dude.” Quinn sounded exasperated. I pursed my lips and giggled. Jack wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me back into his chest. He rested his chin on my shoulder.

“Study harder,” Jack taunted.

“I can’t when there’s dying animals in my living room.” Quinn’s words were sharp, but I took no offense to them. “Sorry,” he apologized in my direction, but I shrugged.

“Just study outside.” Jack suggested, knowing the best ways to get on his brother’s nerves.

“In the rain, Jack?” Quinn placed his hands on his hips. “Why don’t you go dance in the rain?”

“‘Cause she’ll get sick!” Jack gestured to me.

“But it’s okay if I get sick studying in the rain?” Jack reached for his phone as his brother spoke, and turned up the volume.

“Jack!” Quinn raised his voice in warning. I snickered. “Jack!” He repeated his brother’s name as Jack began to sway with me back and forth. He held instigating eye contact with his brother. Challenging Quinn.

“What?” The middle child called. I winced at the volume of his voice.

At that point, all the noise had attracted Jimmy, who stepped in the room beside Quinn. He looked confused and frustrated. I chuckled when I noticed he and his son wore the same expressions.

Jack quickly reached for his phone to pause the music.

“What’s going on?” Jimmy’s question had me slowly pulling from Jack. To detach from the situation at hand.

“Jack’s being loud.”

“Quinn’s being rude!”

I felt like I’d heard them having this fight before.

Jimmy sighed. Sighed like he’d heard it all one too many times.

“Jack, turn the music down and stop yelling. Quinn, just go back to whatever you were doing.” I heard another set of footsteps down the hall, and I watched Jimmy turn, point a finger, and say ‘no’ to the figure I couldn’t see. It had to be Luke, I had no doubt he wanted to investigate and instigate.

Jimmy ushered Quinn and Luke back up the steps before he made his way to the basement. Jack and I were alone in the living room again.

“I don’t even care if we royally screw this up. I’m gonna have so much fun with you.” I wrapped my arms around Jack’s neck as I spoke. I leaned back as he leaned forward, holding my hips.

“I’m gonna ace it. You just watch.” His excitement made me smile.

——————

“Alright. Don’t laugh.” I stood outside the boys bathroom in the school hallway. It was a Saturday night. Jenny decided to hold the recital at our public school because of the size of the stage. “How do I look?”

As Jack stepped out, I took time to examine his figure. He wore a tight fitting black shirt, and a pair of black pants that resembled sweats, just not as loose. I wasn’t sure what I wasn’t supposed to laugh at until I saw his hair.

“Jack.” it made me nervous. He knew what I was staring at.

“I was wearing a hat all day! I had a bad hair day!”

“Is there anybody else in the bathroom?” My question was answered with a shake of the head, and I was quickly shoving Jack back into the bathroom. Water had to fix it. If it didn’t, I had no other solutions.

“Mom said she was bringing hair gel.” Jack informed me as I ran my hands under the faucet and reached up to smooth down his hair. My prayers were answered when I saw the mess become more tame.

“It’s alright.. I think I got it. Your hair doesn’t look the best gelled anyway.” My words were subconscious, but they made Jack scoff out a playful gasp nonetheless.

“Rude.”

We stepped out of the bathroom in time to spot Ellen, and I smiled at her while she approached with a matching grin on her lips.

“Seems like you got that sorted.” She spoke as she inspected her son’s hair. “I’m so excited. Watching my baby do something new… I don’t get that very often any more.” Her words made Jack blush. “Good luck!” She gave her son a tight hug, and I was quick to accept the one she offered me as well, before we made our way backstage.

I was bewildered by Jack’s calm attitude while we watched people from behind the cover of the offstage curtains. He seemed so patient and relaxed. I on the other hand, was fiddling with everything I could. When he noticed, he grabbed my hand, and he didn’t stop holding it, even as the next blackout came and we were stepping out on stage. It worried me when Jack still didn’t let go, even as we were trying to get set. And I realized that he was as nervous as I was. Just more reserved about it. It was gutsy, but I turned to press a kiss to his cheek before I pulled my hand from his own, and reset myself.

I heard an ‘awww.’

I smiled.

I knew it was Ellen.

It was a different world when the lights came up. It was a world I shared with Jack. A more mature world, to a song we two loved but emotionally knew nothing about. Jenny said our chemistry and passion made it look like we did know.

When Jack wrapped his arm around my back and I dropped to hang there -folded backwards like a towel on a rack that was his arm- he walked me across the stage and I couldn’t help but lift my head to look up into his eyes. He could drop me. But I knew he wouldn’t.

And when I got the chance to travel around him and turn his body into mine, I gave him every physical signal I could that he was doing a good job, even as his eyes searched mine for approval. I held his face as he stepped forward, and I, back.

He held my hips. I held his hands. He holds my body. I hold his heart.

Dance is a different type of communication. But there was a type I knew we were better at, and in one song I’d managed to fall deeper in love with him.

When the lights dimmed, and I froze in his arms, we were quietly heaving for breath. He’d learned to stop holding it.

His eyes flickered to my lips. Mine told him, ‘not here.’

He kissed me anyway.

When he pulled away, we were breaking out into huge smiles, and I grabbed his hand to drag him off the stage.

“We did it!” I jumped into Jack’s arms the moment we got behind the curtain, and he held on for dear life.

“I’m never doing this again!” His words caught me off guard, and my brow furrowed in question as he put me down. “I thought I was gonna throw up.”

I realized what he meant, and I chuckled softly.

“You were so pretty out there,” he whispered as we made our way out of the backstage area, stepping back out into the dimly lit hall.

I turned to face Jack and placed my hand at the nape of his neck. I brought his lips in for another short and sweet kiss.

“You’re a trouble maker. You know that?” I whispered.

“My mom’s probably got a million pictures of us,” he tried to change the subject, but my quick wit got us back on track.

“Probably a million of us kissing too.”

“Oh god..” he sounded devastated, but I knew he wasn’t.

“Consequences of your actions, bud.” I gently patted his chest and pulled away. “Very risqué move out there.”

“We’ve had others.” His mischievous smile made me roll my eyes.

We have had others.

“Come on.” I led him back to one of the empty classrooms used as a makeshift waiting from for the rest of the company. We sat there side by side for the rest of the recital, occasionally talking, occasionally scrolling through our phones. Every once and a while, Jack would turn to me and kiss me. It helped pass the time a lot faster.

When the recital was over, Jack and I were slipping on our shoes and gathering our things. Despite this being my event, he seemed more eager to get us out there to see family and friends. He dragged me behind him as we entered the auditorium, searching for his family before we caught sight of Quinn talking to one of his own friends. When Ellen spotted us, she was beaming. And waving.

Jack and I quickly closed the distance between ourselves and his family. Ellen hugged me first this time, and I couldn’t help but laugh at Jack’s gasp.

“Greeting my girlfriend before me,” Jack mumbled, surprise flashing across his face when Jimmy pulled him into his side.

“Proud of you guys.” Jack shared a look with his father, before giving the man an actual hug. Ellen was quick to reach into the seat in front of her, pulling out two bouquets of flowers.

“Quinn thought you both needed flowers.” She explained as Jack pulled away from his father.

“Oh my-“ Jack paused, turning to look for his brother before Ellen tapped his shoulder, turning his attention back to her.

“Not now, Jack.”

We got a few pictures with the flowers, and Ellen got a few of us when we weren’t looking. I congratulated a few of the girls I was friends with on their performances, greeted some friends I knew that had attended, and had a few pictures taken with my mother, who Jack helped me find.

After that, Jack convinced his father to let us take the spare car out for ice cream. Jack argued with Luke for a good ten minutes about not going before Ellen told the youngest to let it go, and Quinn informed Luke that they’d go on their own.

I couldn’t have been bothered to feel bad for the other two boys. Jack spent our evening after the dance in the parking lot of an ice cream shop, giggling and joking back and forth in the car. Sharing another moment, where it was only us in the world.

✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾

[angelicgirlmj]

hey! <3

so, i have 2 questions, i dont want to pressure u tho ♡ first of all, been struggling with motivation to do my workouts/go to the gym and meditations recently becuase im a high key procrastinater and cant seem to stop, do you have any tips on how to keep motivated? xx

And second, i do a lot of class presentations at my school and constantly struggle with them, because of an ongoing anxiety about reading in front of others. apart from the fact I'm quite antisocial and have a couple of friends so i dont know ppl very well, i can't seem to find confidence, do you know any ways i can develop better social skills when it comes to public reading/speach? xxx tysm

hi angel! you sound so kind - of course i am so happy to answer your asks! ill break it up into two parts to help make it a little clearer and easier to read.

gym/meditation motivation: the first step is carving out time in your day for these and starting small. it’s pointless thinking okay ill do half an hour of meditation and two hours of working out a day if you dont have the time/energy to do that! instead make the time to begin your day with five minutes of meditation and try and do half an hour of working out, you can always build up the amount of time but you will feel better and more motivated if you are able to meet your goals and then expand them as opposed to feeling bad and shrinking them if you struggle to meet them. secondly i would say find workouts that appeal to you and are fun! dance, pilates and weightlifting are some of my favourite solo workouts but group workouts are so fun and you can experiment and find workouts that appeal to you. also if you like guided meditations try and find ones that interest/deeply calm you to make them more fun to follow. thirdly romanticise your workouts! create cute playlists, gym outfits, buy a cute yoga mat, do your hair and buy a pretty waterbottle. this will help you feel more encouraged and comfortable to workout and also feel way more of a fun event as you dress up etc. finally! reward yourself. after an hour of working out give yourself an hour of screen time, buy a cute drink, if you hit your monthly workout goal amount buy some jewellery or get a present for yourself. rewarding yourself and taking the time to look after your body and mind will help you feel more motivated.

2. this is a bit of a tricker question but hopefully i am able to help even a little bit. firstly you could try practicing reading presentations/work aloud. start by reading it to yourself until you feel confident pronouncing all the words and the speed you feel confident speaking at. then read to a trusted member of family or a friend and ask for feedback or improvements that you can adapt and hopefully feel better and more confident in your speech afterwards. secondly joining some kind of club/activity that requires you to speak could be very useful, for example a drama or debate club, even if you arent super active as a member or choose to do a more casual kind of group, being in a setting where public speaking is encouraged could help you feel more confident! thirdly watching/listening to speeches and body language of people doing public speaking or giving speeches can be really useful and help you focus on what you might need to improve on. finally while it seems difficult try and remember that almost every person in the room is also nervous about public speaking and reading aloud, they may just not show it. you arent the only person who struggles with this, so many people get anxious about public speaking and you should be able to feel better and more confident about it with time!

hopefully this has helped you! good luck, you sound so kind and lovely, im sure that with time you will feel better and more confident. love, m.

[ganondoodle]

this isnt as long as before but i just cannot stop thinking about this, why i dislike story and lore boils down to these main point

--the ending feels unsatisfying as hell even if i ignore everything i dont like about how the game treated zelda and ganondorf, the ending itself just feels, despite being presented as super epic an touching, incredibly empty to me and part of it is that it feels like an unearned return to status quo of course i didnt think zelda would stay a dragon and i actually wanted to help her, which is why i kept trying to hunt down impa since she said shes gonna search for a way for us to help zelda, bc i wanted to!! i was eager to help her!

i fully hoped and kinda expected that thered either be some kind of dragon dungeon (think, the water dragon from okami) tho that would be difficult since you can get items from her so i ended up thinking before going into the end thered be a mission with impa (or at least given to you from her) where she found answers in ancient scripts (that she told you she would look through) and that you need to find a special lil thing that will help zelda undragonfy, like some sort of ultra secret forbidden enigma stone able to reverse dragon transformations kinda deal (golden opportunity to make you go and talk to the yiga bc they might know or even own some ancient texts) that youd keep in your inventory until the very end and after you kill dragondorf (pretty mortal for becoming an immortal dragon huh) you take it out and use it, undragonfying zelda and ending in a similar epic falling and paralel to the beginning way

... and instead impa stays in the house and only has a few repeating dialog boxes and does nothing and you cant do anything bc in the end you just get randomly teleported (and stripped of your clothing AGAIN) into some weird ethereal plane somehow?? with the ghost of long ass dead sonia and apparently not as gone as i thought rauru (seriously i felt sad when he went poof at the end of the tutorial but i guess i shouldnt have) awkwardly blasting dragon zelda with some magic tm and its all reversed no problem (heck me for caring i guess) turns out helping her was killing an evil guy we never really knew and mineru just kinda says lol its bc time and light magic i guess lol as an explanation

like i really wanted to go and help zelda! i was motivated to do it and spent HOURS trying to find impa again but i wasnt allowed to do anything bc zelda gets saved by some deus ex machina bs in the end anyway, what a fool i was, of course killing the evil guy is the solution to everything >:( (and no i dont care if its meant as in uwu sonia and rauru wanted to help one last time uwu bc it doesnt change how unsatisfying it was to watch it all just kinda happen)

--point two is just how much totk feels like its trying to REPLACE botw instead of being a sequel, its not building on anything of it its ripping out the fundation and building its own thing in its place, like i was so excited to see what happened to the titans, and all the sheikah tech what they mabe had done in all that time now that theres a tech enthusiastic girl as the head of the monarchy, maybe even find out more about them and instead its just all ... gone with not explanation? theres isnt even a LAME explanation, its just gone?? you never find out what the ancient energy actually was, and why there were concentrations of it in the regions with the ancient furnace (well heck it didnt even have anything to do with ganondorf actualyl bc that would have been too interesting) bc that was so intrigueing?? like yeah where DID it come from and why is it there ?? and oh suddendly hey look theres an even MORE ancient and even MORE advanced civilization thats way COOLER and BETTER than the ancient sheikah now, they also built stuff everywhere and have been here ALL ALONG cant you see its everywhere!! and its the only thing everyone cares about all of the sudden, all evdidence of the ancient sheikah tech was scraped of the earth so there literally only being some guardian parts on top of the hateno lab feels like an oversight now bc everything lese was to thourohgly wiped of the map- for no reason even?? like im totalls fine with it being useless and not working anymore but .... why remove it like it was wiped from history?? and then they have the gall to mention the happenings of botw like, twice in the entire game but still just give you the most basic summary of it mentioned on a sidenote with again not even a hint what happened to all of it

wouldnt there have been the golden opportunity to use it to access the new parts and map points that changed?? like a shrine thats fallen into the underground, an access to caves and the underground in the broken and collapsed elevator tube of a sheikah srhine?? maybe even a broken interior of an old shrine, like the room you get put into with the puzzle and where the monk once were broken and half overgrown in the udnerground? some left over construction site where you can see oh thats how the ancient sheikah got all that tech underground, bc they all had access to it and built it there to then rise up when its needed? maybe even making use of the old sonau sites since they frequnetly built their srhines within those ruins?? that the ancient sheikah found em and put the ruins to use? to research it and built their own stuff from it? it wouldnt have to have any focus, literally just part of the enviroment even

really everything totk does is like -forget botw ever happend, look how much cooler and better i am, who cares about sheikah stuff sonau are the new cool guys that came out of nowhere but now apparently have been everywhere all along actually-

i LOVE botw and with it feeling much more like its attempting to replace botw instead of building its story and world further every reference to botw i found felt like a slap in the face instead, oh look where the shrine of life used to be isnt even a hint left of sheikah tech somehow, and also right under it is the lake of healing filled with sonau structure bc ACTUALLY they were here FIRST bc they are so cool omg you guys

dare i say it feel a little like they wanted to make an entirely different version of botw basically, but wanted to reuse the map and models so they just said yeah uhhhh its totally a sequel yeah yeha that makes sense, its not erasing botw and doing essentiall the same thing again but bigger cooler and better (tm) its just uuh a ...sequel ye.

[getosbunsblog]

Levi NSFW alphabet

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He lays there, you leaned against his chest. Plays with your hair or you play with his. Talk about video games and then go for a bath

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He likes his hair and horns. He just thinks they look cool. You, he can’t get enough of every single part of you, he feels lucky you even notice him. But if he had to pick I feel like he’s a neck guy. He just loves looking at your neck and collarbones and imagining marking them up with love bites

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

I THINK HIS CUM HAS GLITTER, yes you heard me glitter. I think it has a blue iridescent shine to it. Which makes it look really pretty when it drips out of your hole

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Hentai? Not after he met you. Definitely jerks off to you and your pictures you post on social media. I don’t think he even likes hentai that much anymore because he can probably only get off to you. We all know he’s a big fat pervert so maybe he takes sneaky pics of up your skirt or you changing, for scientific reasons.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s SOOOOO difficult. Idk if he’s a virgin, but homie is definitely lacking experience. He’s like hella old tho. So he probably isn’t a virgin. But again, still lacking a ton of experience

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

You riding but he moves your hips. He has a control issue and he always needs to be in some kind of control. Also doggy. He loves doggy. He will destroy your organs with his cocks in doggy

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He’s so serious that it’s comical, like if you so much as smile in a goofy way he gets so insecure and insulted

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Blue pubes. And idk man. He might be waxed…..

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He’s not great at intimacy but he enjoys it and loves the feeling of you being there emotionally as well as physically

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He takes your panties and sniffs them to get off. He wraps them around his painful erections and strokes himself up and down pretending you’re there with him

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

He likes being degraded. But he still doms, but he also does some degrading back at you. “I can’t believe you’re letting someone like me fuck you” and “you must be a real easy slut if a gross shut in can get in your pants”

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Your bed and his bean bag. The tub is a little bit inconvenient

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Jealouslyyyy, is like the biggest one. If u even laugh at mammon he wants to claim you. He’s can’t stand it when you talk to others. Especially lord diavolo. He’s just so perfect and him and Levi are so different

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Not hurting you, light hair pulling but he cannot bring himself to even lay a finger on you in a violent manner, he refuses. Even if you beg for it, nope. He’s just too infatuated with you to hurt you.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He has that snake tongue man, he’s a god at oral. Like better than he is at video games. When you go down on him tho, he takes a while to get comfy. He might cover his face the first few times, but after he knows you aren’t gonna judge him, he’s all cool with being loud and taking his hand away from his face

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Depends. He most definitely enjoys just having you sit on him and cock warm him, but if you talked with mammon too much that day, or didn’t respond to his text quick enough he will find you. And when he does he’s pumping in and out of you so fast.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Eh. He feels indifferent to them. He would prefer to take him sweet ass time, but hey he’s not gonna stop u

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Jealousy. He will make sure you’re extra loud when he pounds you in his room but he’s not to fond of doing it outside of his or your room. He doesn’t like the risk of someone else seeing you like that

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Sadly I think he has the second lowest stamina out of his brothers (after belphie ofc) and that’s not always a bad thing. He’s still a demon and still has a ton of stamina compared to you

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

A fleshlight. He he got one that has your skin tone and everything. He’ll use them during fun time. But u have to bring the extra things. He’ll let you do whatever you want. Or if u want him to do anything to you

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Horribly inpatient. Not a tease at all. Not slick enough and not enough skill with the ladies. He might try sometimes but he’ll just get embarrassed immediately. Then u need to tend to his wounds

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He’s the one person louder than mammon. Literally whimpers, moans, yells. The whole nine yards. Even if he’s dominant. He still whimpers and moans like he’s the one getting his insides rearranged

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Idkkkk I know SUB LEVI is a big thing but I think he’s just a shy soft dom, maybe he’ll want you to dom him and degrade him sometimes but he stays in charge for 90% of what happens. Ahem I also am a firm believer in panty stealer levi

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

TWO DICKS. You heard me, two. I think the lower one is 8.5 and the top one is 9.5 roughly. And in his demon form the tip becomes a dark blue

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He’s so ducking horny, you breathe, he’s hard. You bend over, he’s hard. You say his name in a sweet tone, he’s hard for hours. He’s a total perv. He’s just a shy little perv.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Not fast. You’re long asleep before he even does. He’s probably playing on his Nintendo switch lol

[shellxrls]

okay someone asked but I can’t find the post, here’s my tips on shifting.

first of all, it’s all about belief, as long as you fully believe that you can do it then you can (this gets much easier when you’ve done it for the first time cause well, you know you can do it)

you don’t need a script or anything like that!! some people prefer it but it’s not a necessary thing! though for beginners I would recommend it because it just helps get ur thoughts in place!

always be safe when shifting!! make sure to have safe words in place!! but also know that it is not possible to get stuck in ur dr! safe words just make it easier.

use subliminals! but be careful with these, make sure to use ones you trust. some of them can have horrible messages or manifestations in them.

okay so I tend to use a method, you totally don’t have to tho. I just find it makes it easier for me.

I’ll share the method that I use because I’m not sure if I invented it or if it’s just uncommon. I thought of it anyway.

the tv show method

- get comfortable and calm. I recommend guided meditation to ground yourself!!

- put on your favourite tv show, and really concentrate on it for a while, make sure you’re fully invested in the plot and that it’s what’s taking up most of your mind.

if any other thoughts go through your head that’s fine!! just let them pass.

- when you feel ready, imagine that you’re watching the show in your dr

- visualise your dr, the things around you, the sounds. try to feel the feelings that you might be feeling. notice things.

- say affirmations if you would like to. or count to one hundred. Or just keep visualising.

- when you feel ready to shift, close your eyes

- concentrate on the sound of the tv show and say affirmations

- visualise and affirm until you feel that you’ve shifted

- open your eyes when you are certain you’re in your dr!!

good luck <3

- rafe shifter

ANON BABE THANK YOU SO MUCH. if i’m gonna be honest, all this talk of shifting is making me want to try again sooo badly. i’m so grateful that you guys are giving advice and stories as well bcuz it truly motivates me sm !! i might start creating a visual diary/moodboard for now and then when i get back from my spring break trip rlly try with the intent to shift. the tv method also sounds great so i might try that when i do intend to shift.

although i haven’t shifted yet, i’d love to give my take as well bcuz quite a few ppl have asked for advice, and i think it wld be nice just to have the perspective of someone who has been rlly into shifting, but hasn’t quite yet achieved it !!

try to do basic research initially just to get a proper framework of shifting and have enough knowledge to keep up with the main linguistic terms (e.g script, cr, dr, etc). i’m not sure what the best current resources available for that is, but i know amino used to be great for finding shifting communities, and i bet tumblr also has good resources. although don’t overload yourself, it’s good to get diff perspectives but remember shifting is largely a personal experience and so ultimately whatever you choose to do has to feel write for you. for example, as rafe shifter said not everyone has to have a script, although some do find it rlly helpful as a resource.

for new shifters, don’t be discouraged if it doesn’t happen immediately. i know a lot of ppl shift to get out of a bad situation/mental state, but i personally think a large part of the energy it takes to shift is mental, and so to achieve that you should try to take care of yourself and nurture your mental health as much as possible— the more you focus on caring for yourself and your mind, the stronger it’ll get and the easier it’ll be for you to shift <3.

now for my own experience, i personally used to use the pillow method and the raven method the most, although looking back i feel like they were limiting bcuz due to the sleepy sort of state i used to be in it wld make it difficult for me to truly visualise my dr. however, one method i’d highly recommend is the estelle method (i’ll explain it in a sec), it sounds kind of strange but honestly it was the closest i’d ever been to shifting and i truly never recovered r from that fraction of a second where i literally felt myself in my dr. i can still picture it to this day and its own of my biggest shifting motivators <3.

ok anyways, here is the estelle method explained:

Step 1: Get in position. You can lay stand/sit/lay you want as long as you're comfortable.

Step 2: Play a song. Preferably something you associate with your dr or something that lets you feel connected to it. While this song is playing you’re going to imagine slow dancing with someone from your desired reality. It can be anyone: your s/o (i recommend this one lol) best friend, enemy— anyone.

Step 3: Imagine. I recommend closing your eyes for this to truly be immersed. You don’t have to actually dance, but play out the whole scenario in your mind and rlly let your imagination loose, try to imagine the landscape and the scents, anything you can. When the song ends, imagine the person from your desired reality letting go of you and saying "Y/N, it's time to go home." After they say that, they should lead you through a ‘door’.

Step 4: Affirm. Once you are inside the door, you are going to do "I am" affirmations (I am shifting to my desk reality, I am in my desired reality, etc.) anything that’ll help cement your belief really.

Step 5: Finished. When your vision goes black, you can open your eyes. You should be in your desired reality.

i think it’s a very beginner friendly method, it’s great for visualising esp if you have a song that you strongly associate with your dr and you can even have fun with it bcuz i find it’s not as exhaustive as other methods !!

remember to be safe and take care of yourself darlings !! feel free to pop into my inbox with questions for me (or rafe shifter anon if she doesn’t mind) about shifting as well, i’d love if we could have a whole shellxrls shifting community lol.

[tonberry-yoda]

230 - Cole Cassidy

Pairing - Cole Cassidy x reader

Warnings - none!! (cole cassidy being SUPER FLIPPIN HOT) also not proofread lmao so if there is a mistake... that's too bad ig lolol

Word Count - 1,478

Notes - this cowboy has my heart frfr. lately been having a brainrot. this took me too long to write tho omg. but i feel like im getting a better writing style and i worked really hard on it and my motivation is back!!! <3 i hope you all enjoy and have a lovely day! dont forget to stay hydrated lovlies!!

“Winston!!” You exclaimed, running over to your old friend. The last thing you were expecting was to get a message from him letting you know that he wanted to get Overwatch back together. It had been over two years since you had seen him last.

“y/n!” Winston quickly pulled you into his furry arms, welcoming the tight embrace you put him in. “My, is it good to see you.” He smiled softly, adjusting his glasses as you pulled away from the hug.

“It’s good to see you too, Winston. You look as adorable as ever.” You ruffled the top of his head with a chuckle.

Winston giggled and shrugged your sweet comment off as you heard a sound that you knew had to be only one thing.

Tracer had phased into the room with a huge smile on her freckled face. “y/n?! Is that really you, luv?” She ran up to you and grabbed you by the shoulders, studying every inch of your face without losing her big smile once. “It is! Oh my goodness, y/n! It's so wonderful to see you! I'm so glad you decided to come back!”

You quickly pulled Tracer in for a hug, holding her close. “It's so amazing to see you, Tracer.”

You and Tracer used to work side by side all the time. Getting every mission you were assigned done, quickly and efficiently. She didn't seem to change one bit.

“I can't believe we get to work together again!! I sure did miss working with you, partner.” Tracer winked and nudged you a bit with a giggle. “Oh! And you might get to meet Emily!”

“Emily?” You tilted your head.

“My girlfriend!”

God, you missed a lot.

“Hallo zusammen!!” You jumped hearing the booming, but loving voice of Reinhardt.

“Reinhardt!!” You ran to him, throwing yourself into his giant arms.

You promised yourself that you wouldn't cry, but god it was difficult to hold back the tears. These were the people who you loved, the people you were willing to work with for the rest of your life, the people you wanted to make a difference with.

“Howdy everyone, sorry I'm late.” You froze hearing that familiar southern accent that made your whole system stop.

Yes, you wanted to make a difference with this whole team of people you loved a lot, but this one… this one was an exception.

You turned around and saw… him walk in, the rest of Overwatch flowing in shortly behind him.

“Jesse McCree.” Your teeth were clenched and your mood now ruined.

“Actually,” he put his hand on your shoulder, apparently able to hear your voice that was in a pissed off whisper. “It's Cassidy, pumpkin. Cole Cassidy.”

“Since when?” You didn't even try to hide your frustration as you pulled away from him, trying to walk to the other crew. Cassidy though wouldn't stop following. Just like always.

“Since forever,” he sped up to be walking with you side by side. “So forget Jesse and call me Cole.”

“Yeah, whatever.” You tried to get yourself lost in the crowd, but felt a hand slap onto your shoulder. A metal hand? It was Cole’s… but you don't remember his arm being metal. “H-How…”

“That’s a story for another time,” he removed his hand from your shoulder softly as opposed to how rough he just handled you a second ago, hiding it behind his back. “But what’s your problem?”

“What’s my problem?!” You twisted around, your face only inches away from his. “Do you really have the audacity to ask me that, Cassidy?! Are you acting like nothing happened back then?!” You knew that Overwatch was a place for peace and resolving problems, but Cassidy brought nothing but problems for you. He was the only face you didn't want to see.

“You, little miss thing, were the one who hated me. I never had shit against you.” He smirked and walked all nonchalantly towards the rest of the group, but you grabbed the back of that stupid shawl over his shoulders and flipped him over, gripping his shirt, your face inches away from his.

“Don't act like shit didn't happen.” You whispered through clenched teeth.

“Don't act like we ain't nothin’ sweetheart.” Cassidy smirked at you and you quickly pushed him away, feeling your face heat up.

You hate that cowboy.

“Why are you all the way over there, love?” You perked up hearing Tracer’s voice as she booped over to you with a bright smile. “And why’s your face so red? Are you running a fever?” She cupped your face and you knew you were blushing harder than earlier. That stupid cowboy. He definitely did it on purpose.

“I'm fine, Tracer,” you giggled nervously. “Really. Let’s get back to the rest of the crew.”

“Okay?” Tracer gave you a sidewards glance, but walked with you anyway to the rest of the group, who were all pulling each other into hugs and telling jokes.

It was just like old times. You used to be a group that would try to save the world during harsh times. You would joke around, but also allow yourself to cry on each other’s shoulders. You would walk away from explosions like badasses and go home to stuff your face with pizza.

But all of that just vanished one day. You were alone, trying to help others in your own way. A little lost, sure, but still trying.

Thank god Winston called this meeting. If he didn't, you don't know how the rest of your life would be.

And sure, maybe seeing Cassidy was worth it, even if you wanted to sock him in the nose.

Speaking of him, you and Cole were always at each other’s throats. Was there ever a reason why? No. Not really. You would compete and see who could take out the most enemies and you ended off in a draw. A DRAW. That pissed both of you off, but you didn't know that it would be the last time seeing each other for two whole years.

So you were stuck with a chalkboard in your room. 230-230. That awful number staring at you every morning. You were about to end that streak.

“Wanna drink, pumpkin?” You were pulled out of your thoughts with a jump, seeing Cassidy in front of you, holding a coffee.

You took it with a smile and Cassidy sat next to you, both of you looking out at the happy crowd in front of you.

“What was it? Uh… 205?” Cassidy turned to you with a cocky smile and you just laughed it off taking a sip of your coffee. It was delicious.

“230 actually.”

“230,” Cassidy let out a long whistle. “Damn.”

“I know. I still wanna beat your ass.”

Cassidy looked at you, but your eyes were still glued to the rest of Overwatch. “Do you now?”

You nodded, your eyes finally meeting with Cole’s chestnut ones. “I do.”

“That’s too bad.” Cassidy casually put his hands behind his head, leaning back onto his chair. “Because I wanna do the same.”

“Huh. That sucks.”

Cole laughed out loud, a smile plastering onto his face. “You know, even after how much we show that we hate each other, I am so glad we’re back here together.”

You sighed, placing your coffee down. “Me too.”

“I'm just really thankful that we-”

“Okay. That’s too much. Don't get sappy on me. We hate each other, remember?”

“Oh, that’s right,” Cole grabbed your hand, kissing your knuckles. “We do.”

“It's gonna be nice to compete again.” You stood up, your hand still locked to Cassidy’s.

“Tell me about it.” Cole took it as a sign to stand up as well and you walked in front of him, outstretching your arms.

He tilted his head and you pointed with your head to his arms. He smiled softly and knew what to do next.

He leaned down, wrapping his arms around your waist as you wrapped yours around the back of his neck. You buried your face in the crook of his neck, breathing him in. He smells the same as always. Like nice cologne and burning wood.

You held him tightly, strangely, not wanting to let go.

“I know I should hate you,” your voice was soft, almost a whisper. “But I don't want to.”

“Then don't.” Cassidy’s booming voice was vibrating his chest that you were pressed against.

“But I still wanna beat your ass.”

“Then do it darlin’. But don't expect me to just let you.”

You laughed, picking a fuzz off of his shawl before holding him tighter.

He pressed a small kiss onto your forehead and grabbed both of your hands. “It's so nice to see you again.”

“Tell me about it.”

Even though you were supposed to hate him. You sure did love that stupid cowboy.

---

overwatch masterlist --- pinned post

@tonberry-yoda

[seongminiz]

omg plsplslsls u can’t say that!!! /j /lh just one more is like the hottest thing anyone can say ever i loveeee that… that’s soo hot wtffff i love that sm🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

and yes manipulative jiwoong🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 like i was also thinking about jiwoong who makes u hide under his desk and suck him off while he’s talking to matthew‼️ or fucking on top of matt’s thesis and getting cum stains on it :( and then jiwoong is just like sorry i spilled some water on it, when he returns it (ik most schools do everything online now but u can’t get cum on a computer! yes u can)

also in the 1k i wrote already lmfaooo jiwoong is like 34 and reader n matt are like 23-24 ish i didn’t rly think like concrete ages but jiwoong being in his thirties and reader n matt in their twenties and it’s kinda just like stupid pathetic “real man”bullshit where like reader wants to be with jiwoong more because matthew is just too sweet n nice and too boyish and doesn’t have enough direction in his life even though reader is not even in school anymore and matthew is the one doing his masters and but.. yeah :( idk if i explained that well at all but it’s kinda just jiwoong giving this appeal of taking care of reader and treating them so well and it’s all very manipulative but maybe like.. he isn’t 100% committed to this so reader doesn’t really want to leave poor matthew because jiwoong might just be stringing them along :( but mostly just nasty jiwoong, lots of slutshaming cuz im insane for like jiwoong calling you “easy” and all that🤭🤭🤭 and like jiwoong just overall making ur life difficult and probably a lot of him getting off to doing all of this to matthew too :( cuz maybe there’s some crazy tension or rivalry and it just makes jiwoong feel so hot and powerful to have you under him, knowing he’s ruined you and you won’t be satisfied with matthew anymore now that you’ve had him :(

- 🧁 anon

i died again 🫠

jiwoong not only making u cum on matthews thesis , but cumming in u n then scooping up his cum mixed with urs dripping out of u n smearing some of it on matt's thesis on purpose :3 (idk if the wording makes sense its now that hour at night where the english starts to not english anymore for me help)

no bc the age gappp 😵‍💫 /pos jiwoong being manipulative n also not rlly paying attention to u outside of when hes fucking u , which in return just makes u more needy n bratty bc u want his attention that bad :( he thinks its so cute n kinda pathetic n he wont hesitate to tell u that , tho u think its just something he says in the heat of the moment n dont realize thats what he actually thinks abt u 😵‍💫😵‍💫 n ofc there has to be some tension with matthew that just motivates jiwoong to ruin u even more :3