#those trust issues still linger and im sorry about that

[arsen1cs4ng0]

thing from last night. yeah val is being edgy again sorry about that

[lokisprettygirl]

hi i know i havent done this in a while but thought this was long over due so if you still dont mind these, here are my thoughts about tb...

the last few chapters have been nothing short of incredible, i havent interacted much, fault of my own dismay but really the chapters have been an absolute marvel. the twists and the unanswered questions to many many question linger in the air. (pardon me but for some reason i turn very formal for no utter reason)

one question is what happened with the whole bruce and mummy dearest dilema.

i remember there being a loose end concerning steve and co.

but to now talk of the latest chapter if again you dont mind this annoying

i whole heartedly agree the she was being completely irrational but the fact that she knew she did something wrong shows something. and lokis thoughts are completely valid, with everything he's been through, what they've been through, the trauma of what happened last time still haunts him. he doesnt deserve that and im sorry for that darling.

and that sameera woman ughhhhh. for god bloody fucking sakes, she never deserved a space in his mind to occupy let alone his heart. the gull of that whiny idiotic girl boils my blood as she had the shit to say the shit she did after crying to her father that he took her, which caused him to get beaten to an inch of his life. FUCK OFFF you bitchy little girl (i was very tempted to call her a spoiled rich bitch then remembered y/n)

god darling, i really am just sorry. you dont deserve any of this. please wipe the tears that has had no right to cause you any distraught. your feelings are valid but it doesnt mean you deserve to feel the pain you feel. if you cant hold your tears anymore though darling, know that im here to hold you whilst you curse out the world and i will protect you no matter what (wow that got way too personal? not sure if thats the right word)

him being cold to her is albeit a bit rude, is totally understandable. the walls theyve broken down together were coming back up in the moments he thought and did lose her. only for a second though but he did lose her in those few hours and that was just enough time build back those walls up slowly. he still hasnt forgiven her fully hasnt he? but he still loves her enough to ensure that nothing will happen to her and that i believe is real true love. a bit cliché but it is. hes still very guarded now especially with what happened but god the mysteriousness of him is... i just find it rather hot is all

and also that he trusts her enough to know that she isnt like that woman, though he was desperately holding on to that thought, despite the facts, he really loves her does he. to hold on to the belief and hope that she wont leave him despite everything, god i just love him.

why does the mean side of me think that the one he called was bruce and hes taking revenge on her for leaving him in those few moments. its petty and unlikely but my mind is a labyrinth.

i deeply apologize for psycho analyzing your work but its all truly brilliant and if i may be honest hmbomt is still in my mind. im going through withdrawals and the urge to reread it again is very strong and drew to distracting myself to reading lisik.

anyway hope you have a lovely day darling and hope im not a bother

from your lovely 😊❤️ 💜💙💚💛😊

I never mind these dear, you have no idea how happy I feel to get a feedback (the current chapter literally have 0 comments..zero, I was writing the next chapter yesterday and stopped because it got no interaction for hours and it bummed me out) that's not what motivates me to keep going. This does so never be afraid to send me your thoughts, receiving a feedback on something I wrote will never not make me happy,

I like your formal tone 😂

Ohh bruce and her mum will make an appearance soon 👀

Thank you for trying to see the both sides, if I had Loki's traumas and issues and I read that message from her with her being gone, I'd think the worst too. He was just starting to learn to accept the fact that she loves him and not what he can do for her so this definitely wasn't something he needed.

She needs to learn alot about the life and she needs to learn to love herself and she's trying her best, but she got overwhelmed and instead of confining to him she chose to act out because that's what she had done all her life. That's how her life has been like :(

And yes I think he got swept up by her pain and didn't really get to know the person behind those walls, like bad people can get hurt too, they get depressed and they get Suicidal too but at the end it's all about what they can get, it's all about them.

She didn't care about loki, she cared what he was giving her and then once she realised how tough life was outside her mini palace she couldn't survive it.

He's not taking revenge I can assure you that, he's not vengeful type of guy, he did get a phonecall and had to leave but he can't tell her the truth 👀

Thank you for such high praises for HMBOMT, that fic would be the one fic id save if all my fics were dying and I could only save one 😂

Lisik was my first born so writing style isn't the best there but I put all of my ideas in there, so I hope you will enjoy it because I loved writing that baby.

You're never a bother, thank you my lovely 😍💚

[kaisooconnection]

Hi!! Recently I've doubting kaisoo's relationship, i didn't mean to. I have anxiety and trust issues that's why whenever I'm seeing a post abt some of j*nkai shippers, I'm starting to lose my sanity and thinking some thought abt "what ifs" i just want toake sure that kaisoo is real, im going to risk everything to this matter but at the back of my head says don't expect too much, and it's hurting me.

Pls comfort me with some of their moments! They're my life!

Sorry for my english, it's not my first language

Hello darling,

I'm so sorry it took me a while to answer this. I don't usually get any asks so this came as a very pleasant surprise.

Sweetheart, it really sounds like you're suffering with this issue and I'm so very sorry to hear that. I want to give you some kind words to soothe your aching heart, but, before I can only give you my opinion and feeling on the subject. You are free to take my advice or completely ignore me. Just know that what I'm about to say comes from a good place of me caring for kaisoo and their supporters.

The part of your ask where you said "I'm going to risk everything for this matter" - I think this is the part that is causing you such heart ache. I have always felt that kaisoo is real. I have felt it in my bones. I have been in love before and I know what those subtle looks and touches mean. I could give you hundreds of kaisoo moments to prove to you that they are real because to us they look like two people who are truly in love.

However, to other people, they look at kaisoo and see nothing (we will come back to k*stal fans later....they are an exception to this). They just see kaisoo as friends who share a deep connection, some even look at them and think they are being fake and it's fanservice.

The point I'm trying to make is that it's all about perspective. Different people will look at the same situation and perceive it differently. This is why, when you look at a post that claims kaisoo are just friends and are not in a relationship, your heart sways a little bit. You feel like "ah, maybe they aren't real". It's because the comments that people that don't ship kaisoo make can also be reasonable. Maybe an accidental touch of the hand or stroke of the arm is nothing special between friends. Maybe they have a point.

But....

With kaisoo....

It's not just a touch of the hand. It's how long the hand stays there and lingers, savoring the touch. It's how the hands move towards each other like muscle memory, like magnetism.

The stroke of the arm that allows soo to feel all of the curves and muscles in jongin's arms. His hand then travelling all the way down his arm to squeeze his hand. This doesn't seem like a simple touch between bandmates/friends.

I think those kaisoo sceptics don't take the time to really watch those kaisoo moments and see them fully to see what we see. In the past I have tried to look at it from a sceptics perspective. But, I still just saw way too much love between kaisoo to just be a friendship.

The point I'm trying to make (and I'm sorry for taking so long to get there) is that it's perfectly normal to question kaisoo, especially when you read posts convincingly arguing that they are just very good friends. Don't be hard on yourself. It's good to question what you believe.

However, also in those moments ask yourself why you didn't look at kaisoo as just friends yourself? Why did you always see them as a couple right from the start? What did your intuition tell you when you first started shipping kaisoo that made you feel that they were a real couple?

And the answer is, most likely, that you saw something in them and in the way that they interact that convinced you they were more than just bandmates and friends. Trust in your intuition because there are plenty of people that see what you see and think the same about kaisoo. Please let that ease your mind. You are not alone. We all believe kaisoo is a couple.

Now, about the kxk and kxstal shippers....they are a special case because they use fake evidence and rumors to discredit kaisoo. They don't show any evidence of kaisoo being heterosexual. They also don't provide any evidence of jongin enjoying spending time with the girls he has had scandals with. After so much recent dating/marriage news coming from s*m and other companies showing blossoming couples, why didn't that happen with jongin? Simple. Because it was fake af. So, please ignore these shippers. They aren't questioning kaisoo's relationship. They are just pushing a heteronormative narrative on those boys. While I totally recommend questioning what you believe about kaisoo, I don't recommend listening to these shippers. They are spreading a toxic narrative that I take real issue with.

The last thing I want to say to you, my dear kaisoo supporter, is that you are beautiful, kind and loving and you have a wonderful heart. I know that because you see true love between kaisoo and I think you have to have an open heart and mind to see the truth in kaisoo's relationship. You have so much to offer the world. Please go and spread that love you have with the world. And one day when we are older and kaisoo feel comfortable coming out with their truth then let's celebrate together. Until then, please don't let the truth of kaisoo's relationship consume your life. You should let kaisoo inspire you to do great things. In the meantime can enjoy the moments we have of them already and savour those interactions until they give us their truth.

Let's spread the love that kaisoo share with those around us and the rest of the world. I think we all need a little bit of that love right now.

Take care of yourself, dear. And remember that you are not alone in this. Kaisoo supporters stand strong with you.

P.S. Please never apologise for your English. Your English is great and your ask was very clear! I'm always impressed by how fluently non-native English speakers are at conveying their feelings in another language. I wish I could speak more languages but I'm not that gifted. Kaisoo really have some gifted fans!

[halcyon-writings]

i checked this list and it said persona so im hoping this is still ok. Date night with the protagonists? (Makoto, Yu and Ren) please and thank you >///

ー『anonymous: Can i get dating headcanons for the persona protags (Makoto, Yu and Ren) please and super thank yous. I love these boys so much. ;A;』

note(s): I am going to combine these requests as they are similar enough I hope that is alright! no real warnings for this one either, I just think these dudes are neat. Also I know they all have like 5 different names, so I just went with the ones I am more familiar with. Maybe(????) spoilers for 3, 4, and 5, so if you haven’t finished or played them, be warned (although, idk if anyone would read it if they haven’t played the respective game but idk warning for spoilers just in case) also idk how i feel about these hcs rn, but i did my best dhdjdj

all my other links can be found in my navigation post!! If you like my writing and you’d like to support me, my tip jar is also linked there!

hcs under the cut so i’m not clogging anyone’s dash (originally these were gonna be a short set of hcs but i guess not dbdndn)

What our dear protagonist lacks in overall extrovertedness, he makes up for in action. Surprise surprise, dates can either range from hanging out in the dorms and cooking a nice meal together. Or maybe going to the mall and heading to the arcade. Or basically wandering around until your legs hurt and your purchases range from new outfits to weird antiques from the antique shop.

However he really does treasure these little trinkets, because the memory of your laughter when you were given a certain item will forever be ingrained in his mind. It’s a comfort in the end too.

Date nights are focused on you and you only. He definitely sets a date where he knows you both are free so that there’s less likely of a chance for being interrupted. He definitely wouldn’t want his time with you to be wasted. Although seeing his small pout when it does happen is very cute.

You also gotta be keen on if he sees something he likes and wants. While Minato won’t exactly say it, his gaze lingers a bit longer than usual. But he ultimately won’t get it, because he wants to focus on you and also save up for when the group goes to Tartarus. So if you surprise him with whatever he had wanted, he’s so happy.

While he is slightly more reserved in comparison to Yu and Akira, Minato speaks through action. Whenever you two are walking together, he always has your hand in his, or keeping close by in some way. He likes to cling to you when it’s just you two, his head buried in the crook of your neck as you two nap tother, legs tangled up together. Or the small jokes he says loud enough for only you to hear, but they’re still so funny. Sometimes you’re asked if he’s really a good boyfriend, and you have to laugh off the doubt, because they don’t see the sides of him that you do.

My god. Yu would absolutely be the best at arranging dates and hangouts. I take no criticism. Like you guys could literally just be walking all around Inaba, or just sitting by the river bed and it could be one of the greatest times you’ve both had together. A romantic at heart, Yu would also be a bit cheesy in arranging dates.

He shows affection through communcating it. Whether it’s a new outfit or something, he’ll say that you look incredible or if you’ve studied for a hard exam, he’ll make sure you know how amazing you are for passing. Idk just anything that has you smiling from sweet compliments and other words of affirmation. A big sap, honestly you try and joke about it but he just earnestly says “Who wouldn’t be for you?” And you have to sit down and hide your face in your hands for a solid 5 minutes.

You also gotta be cool with Nanako. But then again she’s a cute kid and a sweetheart so idk why you wouldn’t be. Although he does get a little flustered if it’s you two watching her while Dojima-san is working late at the station and the old ladies coo over how you three look like a mini family yourselves. Which is kind of a common occurrence. And I feel like Yu would know pretty well if he sees a future with someone he’s with, and with you he does shhh

Date nights in Inaba are really fun and a good way to wind down, sometimes it’s wandering Junes and finding whatever the newly advertised, as seen on tv appliance is. Or other parts of the shopping district, where he can really let go and just have fun for himself. When not worrying about school work or the cases the Investigation Team is working on.

some spoilers here; but after Izanami is defeated and the year ends. When Yu has to leave Inaba it doesn’t mean that he won’t put his best efforts to keep up the relationship. If possible, video calls or just the occasional text too. And when he visits, while he does miss his friends, he’s especially antsy to see you too. And when you’re both together again, he refuses to leave your side.

Now, Akira can be described as this suave, casanova type character. But he’s also a giant dork and you know it, he knows it, the Phantom Thieves all know it, hell even Sojiro knows it. It doesn’t mean his attempts at flirting doesn’t get you blushing. And when he sees the flustered expression, it only motivates him to keep going. But turn the tables on him, and he’s putty in your hands. (And he looks very cute).

Because of the way you met, aka, at Shujin, where his reputation was basically over and done with before it even began, he has a lot of doubt and trust issues, what if someone dared you to speak to the “criminal” or something? While he won’t show these doubts out loud to his friends, it’s still something he thinks back on a lot. But when you defend him vehemently one day, he knows he was right to trust you.

A part of dating Akira, is eventually finding out who he is. Maybe trips to Mementos cause him to be late to dates or not even show up at all. You end up stood up more often then not once things begin to get really serious. From small time school teachers to the literal Yakuza (and eventually a candidate for Prime Minister, and a god), you don’t know where he is. And that becomes really stressful because then the doubt™️ sets in.

To make this less angsty and more funny, imagine you know from figuring it out. He’s suspiciously watching the news on the PT, and no offense to Ryuji, he’s not the most quiet. So he’s so nervous trying to tell you when you’re just “yeah I know, sorry for not telling you, I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to know.” and he’s just the surprised pikachu face.

As for date nights, the city is your oyster. I’d say the world but mans still currently has a criminal record so probably not yet. But he’s gonna take you wherever you want. Whether it’s a themed cafe, or just the streets of Shinjuku, as you take in all the sights from the bright places, he’s willing to do whatever for you. That includes facing off kids at the arcade for a stuffed plush you saw and admitted it was cute. He is a man on a mission. And you cannot stop him. So you both end up back at Leblanc at the end of the night carrying your plushies and eating some curry that Sojiro left warming for you. That even includes the Big Bang Burger challenge he will do it for you , even though you probably do laugh at his pain after but you still coo and praise his efforts.

After he goes back home, record clean and world hopefully peaceful. Virtual dates become a thing, either just sitting and talking while having dinner or something is nice. He still loves to say those cheesy pickup lines that had you hiding your flustered expression as you walked through the streets of Shibuya on call. You only hung up on him once but he quickly called back and was very pouty about it. You were forgiven though with the promise of giving many kisses when he visits.

[jostepherjoestar]

Hey ✨queen✨ I was wondering if it’s alright if I ask what would happen to La Squadra if the child member’s future self got sent to the past and their child self got sent to the future. Their future self who’s a teen is wearing grunge clothing and is kinda going through the ‘screw off im a teen who wants privacy to do my own things’ type attitude.

La Squadra kid/Pomo as a teenager 😤

sfw // Pomo/LS kid

note: i changed the idea anon, so sorry to do it. It felt like a more suitable course for Pomo’s story to adjust it, I do still hope you’ll enjoy it without the time travel!

Absolutely adore the idea of Pomo-rino being a grungy/goth teen!! They’d 100% have a septum piercing and denounce capitalism (as they should) and just be all broody. I do think that the relationships they’ve built with La Squadra have become so strong and close that even though they enjoy their privacy, Pomo would still know they could count on all of the guys 😊 enjoy!! 💖✨

As extravagant as the rest of La Squadra is, Pomo’s approach to life and fashion changed after turning 16. Before, they loved indulging in more experimental outfits, stranger styles and colours that seemed to make them fit among the rest of the lavish men. But now, after discovering the amazingness that is thrift-shopping and the angsty, introspective style of grunge and goth -that by the time Pomo reached age 17 had already come and gone out of style- there was no turning back.

Along with the style came the attitude: communication went a bit rougher and replies seemed shorter. Going out without letting anyone know when they’d be back or even with who they’d be going with. After some stern talks with a couple of eye rolls Pomo promised to text them whenever they went out.

Pomo had already finished their high-school diploma with little help and extremely high marks at age 14 so there was no need to even think about the highs and lows that came along with it anymore. That certain melancholy and emotional openness of the grunge and goth (music) genres brought Pomo some comfort; it felt a bit lonely, a former child assassin- now teen assassin- doesn’t make new friends that easily. Especially since that silent streak never quite left Pomo, preferring a quieter demeanour. They had become a little more vocal over time, offering the occasional opinion on serious work related matters.

God they were so well spoken too. A voice so soft- almost trained, letting out brilliant things like a calm stream manoeuvring a rocky valley, knowing just where to go and what places to avoid.

Being quiet had many upsides, most of them learned from Risotto who loved to spend time with Pomo, just observing the calamity that was their squad. That way no social queue was left unnoticed, navigating every situation with grace, often times coming to aid others in their reserved manner. Pomo will often bring warm drinks or snacks to their tired teammates who thoroughly appreciate the small gestures. Do not be fooled though, that dry wit also carried through with age. The comments often so unexpected which made them all the more hilarious, the squad is sure not to linger on sipping their drinks around Pomo. (lotsa spit takes lol)

Prosciutto and Ghiaccio have the most issues with Pomo’s new style and attitude. (they seemed more a bit more broody and open to talking back every once in a while) Zio Ghiaccio and papa Prosci especially hated the thrifting part! “Why would you buy worn clothes AND rip them even further? Pomo what’s the point?” Prosciutto just does not get it. Why pay any money for those strange clothes that smelled like mothballs?! “It’s not like like you don’t make enough money to buy clothes that aren’t ripped.” Ghiaccio prefers not to think about it too much, knowing just how much it riles him up. At some point he just has to let these damn teens be, no matter how much they annoy him with their “emo attitude”. These two will try anything, even gifting Pomo clothes they think would fit way better. Only for them to end up in a thrift-shop, Pomo likes being able to donate to the cycle of clothes, much to the two’s chagrin.

Formaggio and Risotto are WAY too lenient in letting Pomo do whatever they please. Attitude or not, they think it’s kind of funny to see them grow into such an open minded young adult with a headstrong attitude. Both are fans of experimenting with style and overall expression to find one that works in the end. The men both know Pomo well enough, they’ve already proved to be wise and capable of making well thought through decisions so they trust Pomo with this just as much. Although Risotto is not a fan of their choice in tight crop-tops. HAH! The irony! After some grumbling and Pomo assuring them that their jacket covers it up anyway, Risotto doesn’t have much ground to stand on (not that he ever had, the man’s tits are out at work). Formaggio truly couldn’t care less, showing a little skin never hurt him so why refuse them the expression? They look cool in those dark threads!

Who do you think drives Pomo to the thrift-shop? MELONE: eager father figure and fashion enabler! (with a cool motorcycle!!) He loves sticking it to the man just as much as Pomo right now. He’s really into the whole fashion aspect, picking out piles upon piles of possible pieces to try out. The thrift shop workers are less than pleased with the mess they leave but Pomo is sure to leave a sizeable donation after checking out! Melone is one of the few to voice their concern for Pomo’s change in behaviour. He just wants them to be alright and feel somewhat ok with their strange life, keeping in mind to frequently ask if they still want this lifestyle. Melone wouldn’t restrict them from doing more rebellious stuff, he’d just prefer to know what was going on so he doesn’t need to overthink or worry every time Pomo’s out.

Illuso LOVES encouraging ‘bad’ behaviour! Want to stay out past bedtime? Sure why not, come back by sun-up and just act like you woke up early to watch the sun rise. Snap back at Prosciutto or Risotto? Go for it, see what happens! Over the years he’s grown more fond of the kid but never really took up a big role in offering them any parental care. He cares of course, but just from a distance. Maybe he’s a bit intimidated by their smarts and those eyes that never really changed, still so intruding when they meet his, seeming to search his very soul. For once Illuso’s pride knows better than to get in Pomo’s way.

Pesci is so easy to convince to join the movement! He’s warmed up a lot more to Pomo, gone from thinking they’re some weird scary kid to an admirable and still somewhat scary teen. When Pomo starts becoming more goth/grungy he’ll be impressed with their style change, wondering if he should get a cool leather jacket too. Pomo still likes to prank him from time to time. Telling all sort of wild theories to impress Pesci and let him babble on about them to Prosciutto and the rest of the gang who already caught onto the whole charade. Strangely Pesci looks up to Pomo, admiring them for trying out new things and not being afraid to ruffle a few feathers in their team.

[enbyblades]

ok so my roommate and i were talking about starop bc i love dragging her into my bullshit...but also its her own fault for asking why i ship them jsdlafsf but anyway we came up with some good angsty content 

so anyway to be honest we were detailing a potential animatic jashdlasfjsf but it kinda led to us talking about the story potential of having this cross faction romance and all that like parallels between characters; theyre in a fight and somehow starscream winds up fighting against optimus and he fires a missile at him but misses a little too intentionally and megatron notices and like squints his eyes and gives starscream shit about it later of course bc hes suspicious and tells soundwave to keep a closer eye on him,,,, 

whereas ratchet, in a separate battle, starscream gets shot down by one of the other autobots and optimus just freezes and he wants to run to star and make sure hes ok and it shows on his face and his body language and ratchets pieced things together at this point, he knows Smthn is going on between those two, cuz hes perceptive and he just,, nods at optimus and turns the other way, off to help the others...he pretends he does not see it. 

and knockout knows, hes still a bitch but he and starscream have smthn of a mutual respect for one another, mostly bc breakdown acts as knockouts conscience ajsdhlsff, so while he teases star like “have fun with your boy toy, screamer? ‘,:)” he still like covers for him when megatron is wondering where he is and hes off with optimus. 

but the SPICY parts, so starscream kidnaps bumblebee and fucks him up a good deal, probably as a desperate attempt to get megatron off his back a little, and when optimus and maybe someone else arrives to save him, star grabs bee in a chokehold with his gun pointed at his head and optimus of course is horrified and trying to talk him down telling him he doesnt have to do this and wondering whY hes doing this, and starscream shoots bumblebee in the torso, not killing him but yknow, hes gonna be out for the count for a hot minute, and flees the scene 

so they dont see eachother for a while, they stop having their secret meetings bc optimus is hurt and starscream is in his own emotional turmoil over the situation. before optimus can figure out how he wants to handle the situation, he gets a complaint from fowler whos like “WHY is this goddamn jet ATTACKING random truckers???” bc starscream, ever so smooth, decided the best way to get ops attention was to. tackle him in alt mode apparently. ratchet gives him a look and says “looks like someones trying to get ur attention...” and optimus decides hell try to find star in their usual meeting place. ratchet of course is like, long suffering sigh “i cant stop you optimus...i just hope you know what youre doing. be careful.”

so they meet and starscream tries to act like everything is normal but of course optimus has to address the elephant in the room, and starscream is like “i thought we agreed to not talk about war and factions when we meet..” and optimus is like “starscream, you grievously injured bumblebee. you know why we have to talk about this” it becomes pretty heated, mostly bc starscream is explaining himself and is frustrated at the world and their situation and is ranting. he apologizes and clearly regrets what he did, and optimus, having the spark of a saint, forgives him tho hes still hurt. starscreams still VERY distressed though. they have This exchange:

“starscream...please. come back with me... you wont feel like you have to hurt my friends anymore. we wont have to sneak out in secret...”

“how many times do i have to tell you i CANT optimus! megatron would KILL me!” (he used to claim that he cant abandon this cause hes worked so hard for, but hes since come to realize the original ideas the decepticons were fighting for have been lost to megatrons batshittery.)

“we would protect you-”

“oh, like you protected CLIFFJUMPER?”

his eyes widen as he immediately realizes how royally hes just fucked up, and he can see it in optimus face that hes barely holding back a whole slew of hurt, disappointment, anger. it hurts twice as bad bc we all know WHO killed cliff, but also bc optimus no doubt has that leader complex that causes him to feel like cliffs death was his fault bc he couldnt lead them well enough to prevent it, and STAR knows this, and optimus Knows that star knows this, and its just..OOF. so optimus holds it in.

“o-optimus, i- im sorry, i didnt-”

“starscream....i cannot abandon my family. so you need to pick a side....and if it is not removed from the decepticons...i dont think it is healthy for us to keep this up.”

“optimus wAIT-”

but hes already transformed and is driving away. 

again time passes, i havent thought this part all the way thru yet, but eventually they meet again somehow and starscream apologizes (again) PROFUSELY, and optimus, in his infinite patience, forgives him again. they meet in their secret place, and its a pleasant normal meeting, but what optimus said is still very much an issue that needs to be addressed, and its lingering. starscream apologizes again for what he said about cliffjumper, and says smthn along the lines of “if anyone could protect me, not that i NEED protection, mind you......id trust you to be able to.”

“then come back with me...”

he looks conflicted. he wants to go so bad, but....

“we’ll see.” 

they kiss and part ways. optimus drives off, but when starscream turns around hes face to face with lazerbeak. soundwave comes out of his hiding place.

“scrap...”

he doesnt bother trying to come up with a lie. he knows it wont get him anywhere. soundwave heard enough, and no doubt recorded it. so instead he pleads with soundwave not to say anything. he promises he wont betray the decepticon cause, he hasnt given the autobots any information and he doesnt plan to, just PLEASE dont say anything. 

soundwave doesnt say a word. he opens a groundbridge and gestures for starscream to walk through first. 

and the next part also isnt totally fleshed out but i imagine he doesnt feel like he has much of a choice, so he walks through and has to face whatever megatron has in store for him unless he manages to escape somehow. whether he gets out on his own volition or is thrown off the ship by megatron is still up in the air, but the ensuing fallout of soundwave finding out and telling megs is what finally pushes starscream to abandon the decepticons for good. 

ANYWAY. YEA. ANGST.

[mischiefandi]

A Shitty Love Song (Part 3) - Stiles Stilinski

No Shame

A/N: hi everyone, here is part 3, im sorry i couldn’t post it yesterday. part 4 will be out next saturday! ty for reading, hope you enjoy it

Summary: Y/N is a 17 year old girl who struggles in an epic battle against herself. Whether it is amor’s icy grasp or life’s unexpected course that forces her to finally open up, only one thing is certain. The truth cannot be long hidden.

Warnings: mentions of underage drinking, swearing, mentions of anxiety and panic attacks (if this triggers you in any way, please be careful)

Word Count: 5k

Pairing: Stiles Stilinski x Reader (Y/N)

Series Masterlist

(picture is not mine -> credits to @ sanjeevgrover on unsplash)

“I need you. I need you.”

Stiles’ cries had not escaped Y/N’s mind in the past two and a half weeks. On a loop, they played back, the words looming behind every action, every conversation, every thought. Never before had she heard pleas quite like the ones stuck in her head. It had been a real shock seeing her friend in such a state of panic and terror. Being Stiles’ friend, you couldn’t help but notice his anxious quirks and habits, but he had never lost control like that. At least, never in front of other people.

So as the weeks rolled into winter exams, Y/N found herself struggling to stay focused on her studies, her mind often wandering off in unwanted directions. She thought of Stiles, and of his distress, and she thought of those troubling words that still lingered in her mind. But most of all, she thought about how she still had no idea what happened. She had asked, multiple times, but Stiles had shut her down, providing fleeting excuses that she just wasn’t gullible enough to believe.

“Maybe he’s embarrassed.” She had thought to herself. And perhaps this was true. But if that was the case, did it mean he didn’t trust her? Was he uncomfortable around her? Did he regret showing that side of him and if so, what did that say about their friendship?  As always, Y/N’s mind overflowed with questions and hypotheses, and there was nothing she could do about it.

As the moonlight shone through her bedroom window, Y/N stood from her chair, her fingers furiously drumming against her chin as she focused, her brow furrowed in concentration.

“New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Rhode Island, uh…New York…” she recited, another overwhelming wave of stress hitting her for the third time that evening.

“Fuck!” she exclaimed, throwing her head back in frustration.

She was nervous. Tomorrow was the last day of exams, and she couldn’t mess it up. She generally had good grades in History, but the past few weeks had been exhausting and she truly was reaching her breaking point, making it more and more difficult to study even the simplest dates and events.

Y/N walked over to her art corner, her gleaming eyes glazing over the patterns of black and grey carefully applied to the canvas of her latest painting. She sighed, burying her face in her hands.

This abstract piece had been started at the beginning of winter exams, but she still hadn’t finished it. It wasn’t really that she didn’t have the time, it was something else. She couldn’t quite pinpoint what it was, but something was stopping her from completing the painting.

Whenever she stood in front of the canvas, unsure hands hovering above her color palette, her fingers retracted. It was a frustrating predicament, constantly coming back to the same issue and not knowing how to get out of it.

Y/N was so tired with it all. She was tired of the studying and the overwhelming waves of anxiety, and she was tired of not hearing from Stiles. She was tired of not finding a way out of her artistic rut and she was goddamn tired of feeling trapped.

Without warning, her eyes filled with water and for a split second, time stood still, before the tears overflowed, chaos crashing into her. Her breathing accelerated and she bit down on the inside of her mouth, pain erupting through her cheek.

“No, no, come on. Stop it,” she whimpered, the tears rolling down her flushed cheeks.

She had reached her breaking point. Slowly, she lowered herself down onto the floor, her back pressed against the foot of her bed. Her toes curled as she gripped the carpet beneath her, the soft fabric a small comfort. Y/N shut her eyes and winced, chaos burning inside of her stomach, and she forced herself to raise her finger up to her nostril, pressing the tip against her humid skin.

“1…2…3…” she gasped as she shakily breathed in the cool night air seeping through her bedroom window.

“1…2…3…” She exhaled loudly but slowly, forcing every last drop of air out of her lungs then back in as she started anew.

Slowly but surely, she felt her muscles start to relax, her weary toes uncurling. The chaos had thankfully subsided.

“This one barely even lasted a few minutes.” Y/N thought to herself, resting her head against her bed. She soothingly wrapped her arms around herself and continued to breathe, the exaggerated inhalations helping tremendously.

A few minutes of silence had passed when suddenly, the familiar buzzing of her phone made Y/N’s quiet bubble pop. Grimly, she made her way over to her phone sitting on the wooden surface of her desk and her red-rimmed eyes glazed over Allison’s name flashing through the bright screen. She answered instantaneously.

“Hey.”

“Hi, Y/N! How horrible is studying going?”

Y/N rolled her eyes, letting out a sharp laugh.

“Decently horrible. How’s it going for you?”

“Well…it could be going better,” Allison chuckled, her warm voice lighting up the room.

“We’re just so tired! Who the hell came up with the idea of making us sit through two whole weeks of exams?” huffed Y/N.

“It’s not that bad. I don’t know about you but my dad’s been acting like my butler.”

“Wow, well, if your new butler wants to start working for me as well, I don’t mind,” Y/N teased, Allison’s laugh echoing through her phone.

“So hey, I was talking with Isaac earlier today and we were thinking, why not hang out by the Hale House tomorrow after exams are done. We could have a bonfire and just celebrate the end of the trimester?”

“Oh my god, that sounds so fun,” Y/N gasped, her heart doing a backflip inside of her chest. She needed to see her friends.

“Yeah! I’ve missed our hangouts,” said Allison.

“I know, I have too. Hanging out and just chilling with everyone by a fire sounds perfect.”

“God knows we deserve a break.”

“What time were you and Isaac thinking?”

“I’m not sure, maybe around 7?”

“Yeah, no problem. What do you need me to bring?” asked Y/N, one hand resting on her hip.

“Um, maybe just a couple of blankets, I’ll text you if I think of anything else. Lydia’s bringing some drinks and the boys are handling food.”

“Okay, great. I can’t wait.”

“Me neither. Good luck with History tomorrow!” Allison exclaimed.

“You too. Goodnight, Ali,” replied Y/N before terminating the phone call.

She slumped into her desk chair and sighed slowly before straightening her back and passing a shaky hand through her hair. She was going to study and nail this exam. And then, she was going to have a blast at the bonfire.

🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙

The excruciatingly demanding day had come to an end and Y/N felt like a huge weight had been lifted from her weary shoulders as she inhaled the cool evening air. The sun had gone down, all that was left was her shadow, following closely behind as she rode to the woods. Her History exam had gone really well considering how difficult it had been to study its content. Exams were over and done with, and the highly anticipated winter holidays were finally here, much to Y/N’s relief. Everyone needed this well-deserved break.

Y/N turned a sharp right onto the gravel trail leading up to the core of the forest, her heart beating with excitement. The chilly air whipped her face as she rode faster, her bike disappearing in a blur of dark trees and thick bushes as she inched closer and closer to the Hale House. Briefly tilting her head up, Y/N’s eyes caught a glimpse of a shooting star zooming through the night sky and disappearing into its dark backdrop in a flash.

After what seemed like an eternal bike ride later, she could finally hear the sounds of laughter and happy chatter echoing around her, and she grinned, entering the large clearing and jumping off of her seat. Her bike crashed onto the ground as she leapt in Lydia’s arms, breathing in the smell of fresh strawberries in their warm embrace.

“Finally! I was starting to think you’d never get here,” exclaimed the redhead. “You don’t pack lightly,” she added, gesturing at the large duffel bag hanging from Y/N’s shoulder.

“Yeah, Ali asked me to bring blankets,” Y/N replied, chuckling.

“Hmm, well our Mom thinks of everything,” joked Lydia.

“What did you just call me?” inquired a soft voice, and Y/N turned, her eyes falling onto Allison’s smirk.

“Oh come on, you know it’s true. You’re basically our mom.”

Allison giggled and put her arms around her friends’ shoulders, leading the pair towards the bonfire a few feet away.

“Well, I gladly accept the title,” she said, her voice light as the sun.

As Y/N got close to the fire, warmth fanned over the few inches of her skin not covered by her clothes.

“Y/N, you’re here!” said Scott, smiling widely, his eyes gleaming through the thick flames of the bonfire.

“Let’s get this party started,” Isaac whooped, his hand reaching for a can of cheap beer, knocking it back in mere seconds.

Y/N grinned at the group. Kira was seated between Scott’s legs, a bottle of coke in her grasp. Isaac pulled Allison down next to him, planting a sweet kiss on her cheek. Y/N’s kind eyes finally settled on Stiles. He was sitting next to Scott, his back pressed against a log, legs spread freely in front of the fire. Their eyes met and he smiled softly, her heart swelling with affection. She calmly sat herself down between Lydia and him, and conversation soon lit up the clearing, the group’s voices bright and excited.

“Can you believe it’s already winter break?”

“Seriously, I feel like we should still be in October,” replied Y/N as she handed Lydia some blankets to pass around.

“How did your exams go?” asked Scott, his eyes flicking from one person to another.

“Decently,” shrugged Isaac, Stiles scoffing at his words.

“You called me up at 2 in the morning asking me if it was true our next exam was Geography and not Econ,” he mocked and Allison laughed out loud, her head thrown back.

“I see I’m not the only one he wakes up in the middle of the night,” she teased, resting her head on her boyfriend’s shoulder, their fingers intertwining.

“Okay, there were some organizational issues, but we fixed them and agreed not to mention them. Ever again,” he replied, shooting a deadly glare at Stiles.

“How do you feel about your exams, Scott?” asked Y/N, swiftly moving the focus away from the guilty blabbermouth seated next to her.

Scott nodded, his bottom lip tucked back in his mouth.

“Honestly, I think I did pretty well. Biology went much better than I thought it would so that’s great. Thank you again, Lyds, you saved me,” he added, sending a grateful look at the redhead who smiled in response.

“You did the work, Scott. It was all you,” she replied.

“I’m actually pretty sure I flunked Biology but the rest was fine,” Allison said. “How did History go, Y/N?”

Y/N grinned widely before bowing before the bonfire, Lydia scoffing at the gesture.

“Yours truly is officially the queen of History.”

“Hey, congrats! Who’s your History teacher?” Kira asked.

“Uh, Mr Hebowitz. You’re lucky you don’t have him, he friggin sucks.”

“Well, I’d take him over my dad any day. Seriously, if I have to hear one more embarrassing childhood story brought up in class, I’m gonna burst.”

“Yeah, that sounds bad,” Y/N winced.

“I gotta say it’s pretty entertaining though. I didn’t know you were so big on martial arts,” said Stiles.

“Yeah, I read this book about a femme fatale superhero with a katana and I just thought that was so cool. So I begged my parents to let me take martial arts lessons and I loved it!”

“Woah, that’s so awesome. So you’re basically a super ninja?” Isaac inquired, his expression serious and unphased.

Lydia laughed, her head shaking repeatedly.

“More like a samouraï but close enough,” she said.

“Yeah, sorry. And before you ask, no- I don’t know the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,” teased Kira.

“Isaac isn’t really familiar with anything so cultural, isn’t that right, Isaac?” Stiles piled on, grinning sarcastically.

“Isn’t that right, Isaac,” the sandy-haired boy childishly mimicked, “Shut up, Bilinski.”

“I will have you know, I am proud of that name. It got me on the lacrosse field.”

“And which of your numerous exploits can you recall from said lacrosse field?” said Y/N, intently watching his face with an amused expression etched on hers.

Stiles met her gaze for a split second, lips pursed, then shot back to Isaac.

“The point is lacrosse is great,” he cried out.

Laughter erupted in the clearing as the fire crackled, smoke rising up into the frigid night air. The group passed along bottles and cans of beer, discussing the previous weeks with excitement. It had finally sunk in that the holidays were here.

“Okay, as much as I love reliving our painful school experiences, I propose we play a drinking game instead,” suggested Isaac, mischief painted across his face, his eyes glinting brightly.

“I’m down, it’s been a while!”

“Let’s do this,” Y/N cheered, clapping her hands together in excitement.

“Never Have I Ever?”

“Yeah, why not?” said Stiles with a nod.

“Okay, never have I ever had a girlfriend?” asked Y/N.

“Evil genius,” growled Isaac, as the boys all put a finger down. Y/N gulped at the sight of Stiles’ thumb going down, ignoring the discomfort she felt as quickly as it had come.

“Never have I ever…blacked out at a party?” Isaac inquired, shooting a glance at Y/N.

“Ali!” she scolded.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t think you’d mind! I mean, everyone saw you…” the brunette replied, guilt spread across her face.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll get my revenge.”

“For what it’s worth, it happens to the best of us,” Scott joked, sending Y/N a friendly smile.

“Come on, next question!”

“Okay, okay. I got this one,” said Stiles, his amber eyes contemplating the individuals seated around him through the bright flames of the bonfire. “Never have I ever…gone skinny dipping.”

Kira suddenly choked on her coke, harsh coughs escaping her throat as the group laughed, colour flooding in Scott’s cheeks. He looked down at the ground in embarrassment, his lips curled into a nervous smile.

“Wow, I did not see that coming!” exclaimed Y/N, giggling at the couple.

“Okay…next question,” Scott replied, anxious to move onto someone else’s embarrassing stories.

“No no, this is a fun topic. Any other fun places you guys have hooked up in that you want to tell us about?” insisted Isaac, grinning widely, evidently proud of his drinking game skills.

“It’s no Hale House hookup,” declared Lydia as she took a sip of her beer, her eyes widening in shock when Allison sent her an aggravated look, shaking her head repeatedly.

“What now?”

“You did it in the Hale House?” Y/N shrieked.  

“Isaac, I had no idea you were such a freak in the sheets,” Stiles mocked, his mischievous grin sending the group into a fit of laughter.

“I can’t believe you just said that, Lyds.”

“Well to be fair, you did expose Y/N.”

“Yeah see, Ali, karmically, it evens out.”

“Fine, I forgive you.”

“I still can’t believe you two hooked up in those ruins. Weren’t you afraid of- I don’t know…dying?” asked Stiles.

“We all do crazy things when we’re in the moment.”

“Okay, but come on, creepy house sex?”

“Guys, leave them alone,” Kira said, giggling at the sight of Allison’s reddening cheeks.

“I don’t know, I’m finding this pretty entertaining,” Y/N happily replied, beaming as she watched her friend squirm.

“Oh yeah? Well what about you Y/N? Anything you want to tell us?” asked Isaac, grinning slyly from ear to ear.

Y/N’s heart stopped mid-beat, a knot tying in her stomach as everyone’s eyes turned to her. Suddenly the air around her seemed cooler than before, and she couldn’t help but feel trapped under her friends’ curious gazes, waiting for her to answer the not-so innocent question.

“I, uh, don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said timidly, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

“So, you didn’t hook up with someone at Danny’s party?”

“What?” exclaimed Scott, almost spitting out his drink. “At the rave?”

“Ali, what the hell?” Y/N hissed, her brows furrowed in confusion and disappointment.

“I didn’t say anything! Honestly. How did you know that?” the brunette demanded, turning her head in Isaac’s direction.

“I saw the hickeys at school on Monday, so I assumed. Was I wrong?” the boy replied, sending Y/N a look.

“It wasn’t a hook up! And anyway, it didn’t mean anything. It was just some random guy and I was drunk. End of story,” Y/N gruffly declared before downing the rest of her beer with a noisy gulp.

She sent Stiles a glance, hoping to see some kind of reaction. Whether he seemed shocked or embarrassed, it didn’t actually matter. All she wanted was something, anything to finally piece together that eventful but blurry Halloween and leave it be. Only, her heart sank when her eyes rested on an impassive face, Stiles’ expression utterly unreadable, blank as a white sheet of paper. Either it truly had not been him, or he didn’t care, and for some unknown reason, both possibilities were painful to think about.

“Still, it’s pretty adventurous, especially coming from you!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Y/N asked, eyes wide with shock.

“Well, it was your first kiss wasn’t it?” Lydia inquired gently.

Y/N eyes glazed over the curious faces watching her closely, and she felt her throat close, the air suddenly thick and difficult to breathe in. She looked down at the frozen ground beneath her as she clutched the blanket wrapped around her body, and she spoke again, her voice timid and unstable.

“I guess so. But, like I said, it’s really not that big a deal.”

A few seconds of silence passed before Allison finally broke the uncomfortable void, clapping her hands together, snapping everyone out of their daze.

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m starving!”

Y/N sent her a grateful glance and smiled widely, the emptiness in her stomach swiftly grabbing her attention.

“Yes! Let’s eat.”

The group laughed and talked, their voices echoing throughout the clearing in the night, their shadows dancing playfully in the deep hues of orange and red emitted from the flames before them. Chocolate marks leftover from smores were licked off of fingers and light beer and coke was swallowed effortlessly. Soon the evening quieted down and groups formed, peaceful conversations spoken in soft voices overlapping and mixing with the warm crackles of the fire, alive and breathing.

Y/N laughed with Lydia as she sipped on her drink, her eyes occasionally crossing Stiles’ gaze. He seemed tired but still he grinned at Scott, their chuckles as warm as the bonfire. Slowly, she shifted closer to him, her fingers turning blue from the cold hidden away in the front pocket of her big hoodie. The boy smiled softly at her before letting his eyes revert back to the ground, his hands fidgeting with a twig. She watched his movements in silence as she thought about what to say.

Scott had his back turned to Stiles now, whispering sweet nothings in Kira’s ears, making her giggle sweetly whilst Isaac, Allison, and Lydia talked about past parties and marvelous memories. For a moment, it seemed like the only people there were Stiles and herself, comfortably sitting next to each other without speaking, yet at peace.

Finally, she spoke.

“We don’t have to talk about it, if you don’t want to,” she began, her eyes gazing deep into the flames before her. “But I want you to know I would never judge you for something like that. I don’t- I don’t know what you think went through my head back there but, it was nothing…bad.”

Her words were met with silence and she bit her lip, wondering if he was ever going to answer.

He wasn’t.

She nodded to herself and took a deep breath, the combined scent of earthy woods and fire filling her nostrils.

“I don’t judge you because I have them too,” she murmured, her voice cracking slightly.

She saw him turn to her out of the corner of her eye, but refused to meet his gaze, keeping her own cautiously fixated on the bonfire.

“My family moves around a lot, so…meeting new people, having to start fresh in new schools all the time, it was just really hard. I’d get very anxious and I started having panic attacks. They’d happen in class, at home, in bed, anywhere really. I tried to hide them from my parents but eventually my teacher called my dad one day and told him I’d been skipping class- which I wasn’t. It was just that every time I’d get to school, my heart would start beating so fast and I’d have trouble breathing so I’d hide out in the girl’s bathroom and wait ‘till it calmed down.”

Y/N kept talking, feeling the weight she had carried for so long slowly lift itself from her weary shoulders, relief spreading across her body.

“So…my parents confronted me and I told them about it all, the panic attacks and how anxious I felt, and the missed classes. All of it. It was a good thing cause they knew, so I didn’t have to hide it anymore, but- they didn’t know how to help and eventually the panic attacks got worse. We moved to another town for my mom’s job and that’s when it got really bad. I wasn’t able to sleep or eat, I felt numb and tired and I didn’t even know why.

“I was just constantly struggling and it felt like I was never gonna feel normal ever again. And then…we moved to Beacon Hills and I met you guys, and I don’t know why it was so different but I don’t feel as anxious when I’m with you. I feel good. And I haven’t felt that way in a long time,” she finally said, her heart beating at a hundred miles an hour.

For the first time in her life, she had willingly told a friend about that darker side of her, the one she was so ashamed of, the one she had always taught herself to hide away from anyone else. It was terrifying beyond belief, but it was so alleviating.

Again, Y/N waited patiently for a response, for anything but the cold silence she had gotten used to expecting from him. And finally, after what seemed like a terrifying eternity, it came.

“My mom died from something called frontotemporal dementia when I was 9. It’s a brain disease that has no cure,” Stiles muttered, his hands still fidgeting with the twig, his long fingers shaking slightly, though Y/N couldn’t tell if it was from the cold or something else.

“I had no idea.”

“Yeah, I don’t really talk about it, not even with Scott. Everyone knows about it, I just- yeah.”

Y/N finally met his gaze, sending him a gentle smile of encouragement and his amber eyes bore into hers, as if searching for something in her beautiful irises.

“As a kid, I’d get really bad nightmares because of it. Night terrors, stuff like that. And then I started getting panic attacks too. When I wasn’t sleeping, I was a mess and when I finally did sleep, it was more of the same,” he continued, his voice wavering with emotion as he tried to keep his cool.

“That’s intense.”

“Yeah,” he laughed dryly, “intense is one way to describe it.”

“Why didn’t you tell me before?” she asked, her voice a soft murmur.

“Probably for the same reason as you,” he replied with a lopsided smile.

“Touché.” Y/N chuckled softly and Stiles did too.

He then paused, looking down at his dirty sneakers covered In dirt and dark ash.

“It’s not something I’m proud of- and on some level, I wish you hadn’t seen me like that.”

Y/N frowned, her brows furrowing deeply as she pursed her lips, perplexed.

“Why though?”

Stiles looked up at her, his expression serious and unphased, his gaze so intense the world around her faded with his answer.

“I didn’t want you to think that I’m weak,” he said in earnest, his voice steady with candor.

Y/N’s heart tore a little, his words revealing yet another part of him she hadn’t seen before. He was insecure. And she had had no idea.

You think you know someone, but you won’t truly know that person until they bring down their walls and reveal themselves fully to you. This is precisely why amor works so steadily, slowly creeping up your body and wrapping itself around you, inch by inch. It grows with every facet you uncover, it matures with every conversation, every laugh, every secret. Amor isn’t sudden and superficial. It is the most tantalizing and intrusive thing that will ever enter your life, and it will hijack your entire system, turning you into a slave unaware of his or her condition.

Right then, amor grew a little more.

“Stiles, I could never think that. Hey,” she said, placing her hand on his knee, the boy’s world magically shattering at the sudden and unpredictable gesture.

“You are strong and you’re resilient and I will never judge you- because I care about you,” Y/N declared steadily, her eyes piercing through his. He watched her closely, as though he was trying to catch her in a lie, but she wasn’t lying. She meant every word and this fact sent him into a whirlwind of emotions that he couldn’t even begin to describe, not even if he tried.

“I care about you,” he replied earnestly, his gaze never leaving hers.

“Obviously,” Y/N teased, removing her hand from her friend’s knee and curling it into a ball before shoving it back under her blanket, the cold air meeting her skin in a harsh embrace.

“Yeah, yeah, don’t let that get to your head.”

“Pshh.”

Finally, late in the night, the pack members got up and packed their things, shoving the blankets and rubbish back in their bags before throwing water onto the firepit they had created for themselves. The group slowly walked out of the clearing, following the path back towards the road, chatter still illuminating the late night air. Scott and Isaac playfully howled together in unison, walking ahead of the group, as Kira, Lydia, and Allison followed, discussing the evening and the beautiful memories they had created together.

Behind them strolled Stiles, with his hands in his pocket, and Y/N, slowly walking alongside her bicycle, the pair chatting peacefully as the night came to an end.

“Hey, before we go home, I just want to say this,” Stiles said, stopping in his tracks, turning around to face Y/N. She looked at him curiously, wondering what was so urgent for him to tell her.

“I’m all ears,” she replied, grinning at him.

“I didn’t say it before, and I should’ve. Thank you for helping me that day. I’m sorry I didn’t thank you sooner, and I’m sorry I didn’t reach out.”

“Sti, you don’t have to apo-“

“-But I do. You didn’t deserve it,” he said decisively, cutting her off.

Y/N’s eyes bore into his, the grin etched on her lips turning into a tender smile.

“I appreciate you saying that. But Stiles, I meant what I said. I will always be looking out for you. So, if it happens again, or if you ever need to talk, please, remember that I’m here,” she insisted.

Stiles’ expression softened at her words.

“I know you have those moments too, and I want you to know- I…”

“Yeah?”

“I-“

“-Guys! You coming or what?” Their friends’ loud voices knocked both Y/N and Stiles out of the moment, the pair snapping their heads towards the pack already many feet away.

“We should probably catch up with them,” Y/N said, slightly disappointed Stiles hadn’t been able to finish his sentence, her mind racing with intrusive thoughts she desperately tried to ignore as he nodded at her, his lips pursing.

At the end of the path, when they had finally found the road, the friends exchanged tight hugs and last goodbyes, their smiles wide and their hearts swollen with affection. The evening had been wonderful, and the memories they had created would never leave their minds, too exciting and remarkable to ever be put to rest.

Stiles walked over to Y/N and wrapped his long arms around her, his nose breathing in her peach-scented shampoo as she rested her head on his shoulder.

Y/N felt his heart thunder against her chest and for a split second, time stopped again. She closed her eyes, enjoying the warmth of his body and the smell of leather mixed with firewood, inhaling deeply against him. Eventually, they left each other’s embrace with a soft smile and the group parted ways, each member heading home in the cool winter air.

As Y/N was about to start riding, she felt her pocket vibrate against her stomach, her hand reaching for her phone instantaneously. Her eyes focused on the bright blue light of her phone screen and she felt her heart leap in her chest at the sight of the captivating words she had just received.

Stiles: what I was gonna say was

Stiles: I will always be there for you

Stiles: get home safe

She smiled widely, colour flooding her cheeks as she reread the texts, her mind unable to focus on anything other than Stiles. Amor had won again.

A/N: i worked very hard on this series, so if you enjoyed reading it, please reblog it, even if you dont have a large following, it would really help me out a lot <3 thank you for reading ! love u guys

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[suupernovalight]

Addictive Drug

Ushijima W. x Reader

Masterlist || Previous || Next

6) A Short Cut

Currently you were outside looking at the view of the whole city. The breeze felt nice going through your hair. While admiring it, you heard the door behind you open. It was then followed by footsteps.

“I thought Ms. Everdeen said not to procrastinate” Ushijima said standing right by you.

You looked away from the city and at Ushijima. “Well after thinking about it, if there are actually trucks going around delivering these drugs, they won’t be going during the daytime.”

Before Ushijima could say anything, you continued.

“Aren’t they illegal drugs? If so, going in the daytime will increase their chances of getting caught.” You said smiling a bit. 

“I would have to agree with you” Tendo said walking through the door and standing next to Ushijima. “You got a pretty good point”

“It’s not a new thing to know...” You mumbled.

Ushijima and Tendo titled their heads at what you just said. You noticed this and quickly backed away.

“I mean like shouldn’t everyone know this?” You laughed awkwardly.

Tendo nodded, so did Ushijima. After a long pause of no one talking, you broke it with a sigh. 

“Ill be going to my apartment. The boss gave me my key” You said walking towards the door. “How bout we start this mission at around 5:00 pm?” 

“Great idea” Tendo said giving you a thumbs up.

You smiled a bit then walked away from the two boys. 

5:00 Pm

You and the boys were just getting ready for the mission to start. All three of you just got your equipment for the mission. You guys had a gun, ear pieces, and a few tracking devices.

“Hey Ms. Everdeen is still here.” You then looked away from the boys. “Are her and the boss like a thing?”

Ushijima nodded his head no. “I think they are just close friends”

“They kind of look good together” Tendo cut in.

The sound of heel’s clicking were heard from the other side of the whole room. You and the boys looked up in a bit a fear to find no other than Ms. Everdeen herself standing with an annoyed look.

“Get to business will you?” She smiled while cracking her knuckles.

“Yes Ma’am!” You and the boys quickly said jogging away from the scary lady.

When you guys got to the garage, you quickly got on your bike. That was until you were stopped by Ushijima.

“Not this shit again” You groaned. “Please Ushijima”

“I can’t let you go by yourself.” He said back.

Tendo ran in to stop any future arguing and thought of an idea. 

“Well since the trucks are scattered all around Japan, we have to go our separate ways if we want good results” He said looking at Ushijima mostly. 

Ushijima sighed in his defeat and was about to walk away when he suddenly stopped. He quickly turned around and put a tracking device on your bike.

“what the hell!” You said trying to take it off but it wouldn’t budge.

“Sorry but I need to know where you are somehow. At least I’m not with you” Ushijima said getting into his car.

You rolled your eyes then looked at Tendo. “What car are you taking?”

Tendo snapped out of his daydream and looked at you. “Don’t worry, I have another one”

“Ah ok...” You said starting your bike. “I guess this is where we split up.”

Tendo nodded. “Bye Y/n! Be safe”

You smirked and looked at the garage door. “They don’t call me the most dangerous woman in Japan for nothing” You then left with a zoom.

On The Highway

It’s been about 20 minutes now since you’ve been driving. While on the road, Ushijima was constantly talking to you over the ear pieces asking if you were still there. He has trust issues you guessed.

You knew this drive to no where was going to take awhile so you decided to stop and get yourself some food. You stopped at a nearby convivence store to grab a snack. You decided to get yourself some chips and pocky’s.

When you got out of the store, you took a short break to eat your food and just chill. Your break was cut short because Ushijima said he knew where you were. That made you quickly get up and drive away from the store.

2 Hour’s Later

Now it’s been 2 long hours since you’ve left the agency. So far no truck has been found. That is about to change. You were in another city, probably somewhat far away from the agency.

When stopping for a stop light, you saw a truck at the corner of your eye. It was speeding too which made it more suspicious. When taking a closer look at it, you knew it was what the boss discribed.

“Black truck with green splatters...” you repeated. You kept your eye on the truck and speeded towards it to catch up.

While catching up with the truck, you tried to get ahold of the boys.

“I found it!” You said into the ear piece.

No answer.

“Guys? Hello?” You said trying to get ahold of them.

Still no answer. That was until you heard a break out voice of what it seemed to be Tendo and Ushijima. You could only make out the words “Where” and “Y/n?”.

You were in a dead spot. The truck was speeding up more and you were being left behind. Being an assassin all across Japan has its perks though. You looked around and recognized where you were driving. You knew there were short cuts near by that can help you get closer to the truck and not lose it. That’s exactly what you did.

“Dear lord please don’t let this be a fail” You whispered while going another way towards the truck.

You passed by many apartments that were to close to each other. You also passed by many drunk guys and a bar. While driving, you dodged many things that could have got you into an accident.

Now you were in an alleyway. The darkness of it made you feel unsure but you had to toss those feelings aside. You were just about to get out of the alleyway. It’s a hit or miss at this moment. Just as your motorcycle got out of the alley, the truck zoomed passed you. Perfect shot. Now you were directly behind it, trying to hide from the drivers view.

10 Minutes Later

You never knew driving for awhile would make you so bored. Driving was your favorite thing to do actually. After following the truck for what seemed like forever, it finally pulled up to somewhere you didn’t know. There were rows of torn up apartments. It looked like a whole place where criminals hide at. 

Nobody was outside except occasional rats scattering around. The truck was slowing down and soon stopped in front of a certain apartment. You quickly drove your bike behind a wall and got off it without a sound. You creeped out of the wall to see the truck driver getting out with a package.

This was your chance to put a tracking device on the truck. Quickly you ran to the truck and placed a tracker just in the nick of time. As you heard the footsteps of the driver coming back, you had to hold in your breath so your breathing wasn’t heard. 

Everything was going well until you accidently stepped on a lingering beer can. You heard the driver groan and walk towards where you were hiding. You were dead. You looked around to find where to hide. 

“Who goes there?” The driver said. 

After a moment of silence, he shrugged it off and went back into his truck. Driving away as soon as possible. Where did you hide? Under the whole truck. The truck was gone but the lingering smell of gas stayed.

You put the tracker on the truck but now what. It was already long gone and you couldn’t catch up to it. You looked at where the driver went to go drop off that suspicious package. That made you have a surge of curiosity.

“Curiosity killed the cat” You mumbled while getting out your gun and walking towards the apartment.

Before you would break in for the package though, you tried talking to your ear piece one more time, knowing damn well you were in a dead spot.

“Guys... Im going off of the bosses plan” You said.

You then took a breath and kicked the door open. Inside you saw the guy just opening the package. You quickly pointed your gun at him.

“Keep your hands away from that package unless you want to fucking die” You said cocking your gun. 

The guy slowly put his hands up showing he had nothing. Before you could pin him down though he grabbed out his own guy and shot at you. Barely missing, you ran towards him and put him in a choke hold, making him lose the grasp of the gun.

“you chose the wrong choice” You said holding him tighter.

The guy coughed and tried choking you back but it failed and he was about to pass out. 

“Where did you get this package” You said loosening your grip a tad.

The guy coughed. “Why would I tell y-” 

He was then cut off by you choking him harder. The guy coughed for air but he never got it.

“Hayashi!” He choked out.

“Fucking knew it” You mumbled. You then let go of the guy and knocked him out cold. He fell to the ground with saliva dripping out of his mouth. You then looked at the package and grabbed it.

“Ill be back at the agency...” You said walking out of the apartment door. Before you left though, you turned back at the guy.

“Sweet dreams”

You then shut the door and walked towards your bike.

Taglist:

@toaster-stick @ashydoesdumbstuff

[captain-kingliamsqueen]

My Dearest Riley...

Pairing: Liam x Riley, Liam x MC

Summary: Sooo...I just watched the saddest movie and now we have this...I’m Sorry...IM SO SORRY

Word Count: 1,307

Masterlist

 ASK IF YOU WANT TAGGED! SORRY IF I MISSED ANYONE!

I always notice every single spelling mistake or issue after I’ve posted…so apologies in advance! 

Tags aren’t working so I will be tagging in the comments.

Four years had gone by since Liam passed away, to Riley, sometimes it felt like just yesterday that Riley said goodbye to her husband, other times it felt like a million years ago that she last seen him.

Riley and Liam prepared for the day he went, they knew it was coming, but no kind of preparations could have prepared Riley for the loss she would feel when he went. Liam was 89 when he passed, he had lived a long and happy life with his wife and their 6 children. Liam passed the throne to their eldest daughter Delilah when he was 80 meaning he and Riley got to spend the last 9 years of his life as just man and wife as well as mother and father. Riley was now 92, she spent the past 4 years of her life surrounded by her children, her grandchildren, and even some great grandchildren.

Riley took a deep breath as she pulled on her coat ready to go to the royal mausoleum. Today was Liam's birthday, Riley made sure to go down and speak to him every opportunity she got, which lately seemed pretty often. Their son Alexander waited outside the bedroom for her so that he could walk her down. Once Riley opened the door, she hooked her arm through her sons then they made their way outside. Once they reached the Mausoleum, Alexander stopped at the door, letting his mother go in on her own. Riley thanked him then made her way inside, stopping as she reached him. she took a seat on the bench her children had put in so that she would stop sitting on the floor whilst she visited him. Many of times they received phone calls that she could not get back up.

“Good morning, my love” she smiled

“Happy birthday…today you would have been 93, 93 can you believe that? I miss waking you up on your birthday…blueberry pancakes and tea on a tray, we would both sit in bed, just enjoying being together…just you and me”… “Me and My King” she whispered “we’re having a ball tonight, in honour of your birthday, and I know you can’t be there in person but you’ll be in all of our hearts, like you always are.”

“I love you, Liam”

Riley spent the next hour, just telling her husband about the past few days, how their family were doing, and how much everyone missed him.

When Riley returned to the palace, she headed for her quarters. She made her way into the large walk in closet, her clothes on one side, all of Liam's on the other. Her children and tried to talk her into sorting Liam's things but she refused, it was all she had left of him. Riley ran her hands along the shoulders of his blazers and shirts, she stopped when she found the tux, he wore the day they married. She lifted the jacket from the hanger, and wrapped it around her shoulders, she smiled taking in the slight whiff of cologne that still lingered. Riley would often take his cologne into the closet and re spritz his clothes to ensure they still smelled like him, she knew it wouldn’t help her move on…but that was just it…she didn’t want to…she wanted to keep her memories of him as fresh as she possibly could, and his scent helped her with that.

“feels like it was just yesterday” she turned to look in the mirror with a smile. She turned to the stereo in the corner and pressed play, their first dance song filling the room. she twirled as the tail of the jacket lifted into the air, as she turned she heard something in the pocket moving, she frowned unsure as to what it was, she reached into the breast pocket taking out an envelope and a folded piece of paper, she sat down on the chair beside the mirror. As soon as she unfolded the piece of paper she grinned, knowing exactly what she had in her hands.

“Riley, today we make our vows to each other, we make a promise to love each other for the rest of our lives. we promise to trust each other and stand by each other. Every one of those I will do happily. It is because of you, Riley, that I laugh, smile and dare to dream again. I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you, being there for you every day in every way. I vow to be true and faithful until my last breath. I stand here today to join my life to yours before these people. I vow to be faithful, respectful, and to grow old with you. Time may pass, good and bad will happen, but no matter what, I pledge that this love is my only love. I pledge to remain by your side, in sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow, through the good times and the bad. I vow to love you without reservation, comfort you, encourage you, laugh with you and cry with you, to grow with you in mind and spirit, to always be honest with you, and to cherish you as long as we are on this planet! I have completely and utterly fallen in love with you, everything you do, everything you say, everything you are. You are my first thought in the morning, you are my last thought before I fall asleep, and your almost every thought in between. I love you Riley…Always”

“I love you, Liam…Always” she whispered as the stray tears fell down her face.

She folded the paper up placing a kiss against it then holding it to her heart. She placed it back into the pocket then looked at the envelope.

“My Dearest Riley,

My beautiful wife, if you are reading this then we are apart though we would love to be together. you may never find this…but if fate still works the way it has our whole lives then I am sure it will find a way to you. I love you Riley, I always have, I always will, you are my everything and I promise you no matter where I am, I will always be loving you. You have spent your life, making me into a better man, a better husband and a better father and I am eternally grateful for that and for you, and I never want you to forget how grateful I am to have been able to spend my life with the woman I love. We created the most amazing family, with you my darling I have no regrets. I know after I’m gone, it will be tough, and I know you’ll feel lonely, but you aren’t, I’m here watching over you, I promise you that, I’ll be watching over you all for as long as I can! Don’t waste the rest of your life being sad about me, I don’t want you to be upset, I want you to be happy, that’s all I could ever want for you my darling! So, promise me, that no matter what, you will do whatever it takes to stay happy.

I love you with all of my heart, and I can’t wait to see you again, one day you will come and join me my darling, but for now, you need to stay put and be with our family, you need to tell them of our story so that it is never forgotten, because our story lives on in them.

Make sure you pass my love on to our babies and their babies and even their babies.

I love you Riley, Always

Forever yours, Liam x”

Riley sniffled as she wiped her soaked cheeks.

“I love you too, Liam…Forever” she sniffled as she held her hand to her heart. 

[pocmuzings]

Hi there is something I want to address in the roleplay community but before I do that, I would like to give my background. I am a Korean woman who’s grown up in Korea with Korean experiences raised with post Japanese Imperialism effects, who moved at a very young age to America. I have seen and heard that many of the writing content here is euro-centric or for a lack of better words, ‘white’. Anyways, [1/12]

( cont’d ) there is this roleplay that I came across which I was initially very excited about but at a second glance I noticed very alarming issues that were not brought to the forefront until recently. Prior to this admin’s announcements, there were no instances of drawing upon Korean Mythology, Korean culture or Korean culture research. It was denoted from my first glance that it would be heavily coded in specifically Chinese and Japanese history and inspiration. The admin’s roleplay previously was also using Im Jinah (임진아) a korean woman who is put in this japanese-chinese inspired verse without being appropriately aware of Korea. While the admin did attempt to amend she classified the situation as a “historical situation” which completely offends and upsets me. The society that exists in South Korea after all that has happened from Japanese Imperialism is not just a “situation” its lingering effects still exist. There are comfort woman who experienced brutal r*pe, people’s family members who were murdered and irreversible health and body damage. Family heirlooms and property were stolen or destroyed. Innocent people were used as animals as experiments. This is not just a “historical situation.” I followed up with my own anonymous message in hopes that this admin would readily apologize and acknowledge that she needs to learn more but from her response she states she is just “human and not perfect” when this is not about her. This is about saying you are wrong and you are sorry and that you will do better. But that did not happen. What upsets me further is seeing other people / anons being dismissive of her pulling “asian inspiration” and that she’s not “copy and pasting” countries histories. Well I hate to break it to all you white people (yes all of you who have invalided me, for making fun of my eyes, for eating smelly kimchi, for making fun of the fact that I have an accent when I speak) but inspiration or not, there is always historical context and awareness when you “pull from history.” I am beyond disappointed and upset at the Western hemisphere for its lack of awareness and willingness to see things from a NON AMERICAN point of view. Anyways as a korean woman with very real korean experiences, I do not think any of this is acceptable and I do not think any of those people who think this is a “big deal and waste of time” or “nit picky and ridiculous standard” is any excuse to address very real issues. To say that this is also “just fantasy, it’s not historical” and “it is fantasy, get over it.” It is impossible to say fantasy and history does not go hand in hand (Game of Thrones utilizes War of Roses, Harry Potter talks about World War II and H*tler). Does my life and my culture and heritage sound like a joke for you to use how you please? With no respect and awareness for my people and my existence? For saying all this you are ignorant and have no right to be portraying any aspect of the Asian experience. I want people to be held accountable for their wrongdoings and I apologize if my english is not perfect, it’s my second language. I send this to you because I heard your platform is a safe space for POC muns. I do not trust the admin to credibly and honestly answer all of this without trying to victimize herself first. @scarletsaints and @unholyempire. Thank you.

+ another anon : 

Hi G, I am absolutely appalled to witness racism in the roleplay community in 2020. I attempted to use my voice on a recent rolelplay @unholyempire speaking from my own Japanese experience growing up LGBTQ+ in Hawaii. However I am highly disturbed this admin has not apologized for her actions and I quote "has made you others uncomfortable I am happy to adapt" rather than acknowledge that she was wrong and that she sincerely apologies. To continue further, I am FURIOUS that people are commending her behavior and deny GLARINGLY racist viewpoints and shutting down POC voices as “rude and bullies.” How dare you all praise this admin for hardly even doing the bare minimum. How dare you dismiss voices of color and tell us WE’RE the ones overreacting when it is our culture and our history. This IS NOT OK! DO NOT PROMOTE RACISM. DO NOT STAND BY RACISTS

to both of you , thank you so much for speaking up and sharing your experiences with me . i know it’s really really hard to do especially when others are ‘ commending ‘ the person who has hurt you and your community , as respectively , a japanese and korean person . you’ve both spoken up and for that i really do appreciate and commend you . it’s such a hard thing to do . i don’t have anything to really say because you both said it perfectly and i think it’s extremely important to bring up and talk about . your experiences matter . the way this is dealt with matters . i hope we can get you some acknowledgement and proper apologies for how this was dealt with because it’s simply not okay . i stand with you both , i support you . 

as always , i’d like to invite @unholyempire into this conversation to properly , finally address this and offer an apology to both of these anons , and to the asian community who you have hurt with your roleplay and methods . please listen to muns of colour in the rpc . again , a general reminder : please don’t send any hate to anybody . this is an open space , for an open conversation , with genuine feelings and things that need to be addressed . 

[skybound2]

Hi, I really don’t mean to bother you and I apologize for the intrusion. I was just recently diagnosed with ms and don’t know what the best treatment options are. I’m honestly scared of all of them and was wondering if you have a preference or any advice

Oh my word, it is absolutely NOT a bother or an intrusion!! I’m out here on the internet telling the world at large about my issues, and knowing that someone is listening is so very far from a bother or an intrusion. It honestly helps. I’m just sorry it’s taken me so long to respond. 

I completely understand how you are feeling, it’s a scary time, and it can be daunting trying to figure out what to do and where to start and just remembering how to BREATHE under the weight of all of it can be overwhelming. I’m sorry that you are going through this, but there are some really good resources out there, depending on what your situation is, and where you are located. (I think I about lived on the National MS Society webpage when I was first diagnosed. And I watched SO. MANY. YouTube videos. So many.)

I am happy to give you my experience with the disease modifying therapy that I’m on, but I want to just make sure that I’m clear that 1. I’m not a medical professional, and also, 2. I’ve only ever actually been on ONE therapy, so my experiences are limited in that regard. Okay, now that we’ve got the (probably completely unnecessary disclaimers out of the way), onto the actual response. (It’s LONG so it’s under a cut.)

I have relapse-remitting MS, and the therapy that I am on is Avonex, which is an Interferon beta-1a treatment. I use the auto-injection pen, as opposed to a pre-filled syringe. It’s a once a week intramuscular (IM) injection that I can do at home. This is something that fits my lifestyle better than:

Going to an out-patient center for a once-a month IV infusion

Conducting a Subcutaneous injection three times a week 

Taking a daily oral pill 

I’ve learned that I can trust myself to do a weekly injection by setting a weekly timer for it, and working it into my routine. I schedule my injections for Saturday nights right before bed, and clear my morning on Sundays to deal with side-effects that pop up. I have a pretty packed/sporadic schedule, and I don’t think that I would have much luck keeping to a 3x a week injection routine, or taking a daily pill. And I FOR SURE don’t want to be locked into having to go to a center to get an infusion, even if it’s only once a month.

The actual injection process is pretty easy. You just have to prep your injection site (I use my thighs, alternating legs/locations every week), put the needle on the pen (which is pretty foolproof), place the pen against the injection site location, then depress the button on the pen to insert the needle into the injection site, and wait while the medicine injects itself (I count to 20 to wait it out). The medicine pack comes with everything you need for the injection: alcohol wipes, gauze pads, and bandaids, so you have those at the ready every time. 

I’ve been on it for 3.5 years, and during that time I’ve had one pseudo-exacerbation (caused by my exposing myself to high temps when I knew better) and am now in the middle of my first genuine flare since I started the medicine. To me this SEEMS like a good amount of time to have gone without a full flare, but as I mentioned, I haven’t ever been on any other therapy, so I have no idea if another one would have kept the flares at bay for even longer. 

Another “pro” that I would list for this medicine, probably shouldn’t even NEED to be listed as a pro, but seeing as how I live in the healthcare dystopia that is America, it IS for me, is that while my insurance carrier FOR SOME REASON thinks that I should pay $1000/month for this medicine, the manufacturer of the medicine itself WAIVES that fee for me every month, so I actually don’t have to pay anything for my treatment (beyond my insurance premiums of course). 

Now THAT all said, there are some cons and some caveats. 

So my caveat is that when I started treatment, there weren’t any daily oral pills approved for use. I may have opted to try that FIRST if that had been available at the time, but since they weren’t, I didn’t. And since I had been doing well on my injection treatment when the oral pills became available, neither my doctor nor I thought that it was advisable to switch just because. This is something that could change in short order, as I am currently in the middle of a flare, and while I don’t suspect that my doctor is going to recommend a change of treatment when it’s over, it is possible that he COULD. 

Now onto the cons:

The medicine needs to be kept refrigerated, so you need to plan for that if you travel. Luckily, it’s only a once a week treatment, so unless you are away from home for long periods of time, it’s not too difficult to address. (I own a couple of the same medicine travel coolers that diabetics use for insulin transport, as they work well for this purpose.)

Injection site pain is a thing. It’s not a constant thing, but it DOES crop up every so often. For me it’s typically just a sore muscle in the area of the injection, sometimes with mild bruising. (I’ve always bruised easily, and that’s only gotten worse in recent years.) Sometimes this lingers for long enough that I have to skip injecting one leg for a couple of weeks until it clears up. (Again, I bruise easy, and it's not comfortable injecting into a bruise, so I just don’t.)

What I call “morning after” side effects. The medicine lists “flu-like” symptoms as being possible for ~6 months after starting the treatment while your body adapts. That was 100% a thing for me. I was able to mitigate that a bit by taking ibuprofen (and sometimes benadryl) immediately after giving myself the injection before going to sleep. But the thing that DIDN’T get mentioned a lot was that even after that 6 months is over and the majority of “flu-like” symptoms cleared up, you might still have morning after issues in the form of much milder “flu-like” symptoms. For me, this translates into whole-body aches. TYPICALLY, they are cleared up by around 10 or 11 am the morning after. BUT, sometimes they linger all day as just a general dull-ache feeling. My doctor explained that this is because the weekly injection is a concentrated dose of medicine, and it takes the body some time to process it. And beyond taking pain relievers (which I do) there’s not much to be done. It can be exhausting, and so I TRY to avoid scheduling things on Sunday when possible. I’d say that I deal with all-day lingering aches/fatigue following injection about once a month. Though I’m slow to get going EVERY week following injection. (So 10 am start to my day instead of 8 am.)

Because I haven’t been on any of the other therapies out there, I don’t know how these side-effects compare, so I don’t know if these are better or worse. My doctor seems to think that my reported side-effects are pretty typical for this type of treatment though, and doesn’t think it’s cause to change treatments unless I feel like they are interfering with my life. I’ve adapted well enough to them (and honestly, it’s not a hardship to tell EVERYONE that I can’t commit to doing things at least one day a week :-P)

So that’s my response on my treatment experience. I’d say that the best thing you can do is to find a Neurologist that you trust and that you have a good rapport with, so that they can help guide you through the process and assist you in making changes as necessary.

I wish you all the luck in the world, and please feel free to come chat whenever. I may be slow to respond, but I will RESPOND at some point!! *HUGS*

[mercysought]

@skyheld​​​​ : ❝ You have proven me so very wrong. And I could not be prouder of you for it. ❞ /shianni to anora and im sorry i will stop spamming you now :') from black sails season 2 ( accepting )

Perhaps she should not feel quite so validated and yet she did. The relief that she allows herself for the moment is enough to allow her to sigh and lower her head with a shadow of a smile. The amount of shame had almost rendered her frozen when it came to dealing with had been done; heavier perhaps was the shame that lingered upon realising that many of those issues were things that had always been there. The reason why they had been allowed to fester for so long was due to her negligence. She could say that there had been other things of import, that her attention as the Queen was pulled by thirty different places, but those would be nothing but excuses and the bitterness remained. 

That Shianni should be proud of her for keeping her word for making her a Bann, for actively working towards the improvement of life in the alienage of Denerim (first Denerim, slowly the rest; change didn’t come easily nor without sacrifice). It felt good, but she couldn’t help but feel that it was a shallow and easy victory when the bar was set quite so low. Anora looks onto her own hands, looking over towards the other woman still with the same smile. 

   “I appreciate it.” she starts, shoulders squaring as she rises from her chair behind her desk. There were still things that they didn’t see eye to eye with, there would always be things like that. The point of her presence was that she would always fight for the rights of those within alienages and that was no small feat, but she knew that Anora’s duties went beyond only them. But for now... For now, Anora found comfort that Shianni would be able to cover whatever blindspots and find holes where she herself might have missed them. There was a lot still to do, a lot still to learn from both sides “Your words, support and advice mean a lot, Bann Tabris.”

The queen walks around her desk towards the two chairs left often empty while she worked. Now Anora sat in the empty chair next to the other woman. 

   “Erlina has told me that she enjoys your talks.” Erlina. Shianni didn’t ask, not yet, and Anora was wondering when the question would come. An orleasian, elven woman as the Queen’s only handmaiden was certainly a decision. The same way that she had kept her word to the Warden about making Shianni her bann. Erlina was an incredibly talented woman, one that could very easily slip in and out of places and hear and catch things that Anora herself could never. They were right, without Erlina Anora would not have been there safely out of Howe’s grasp and that was something that even now gave her pause “It brings me comfort to know that she feels she can trust someone else besides me in this castle.”  

[fairycosmos]

urgent!!! I FEEL SO LONELY MY CHEST HURTS AND IM CRYING. I CANT EVEN TELL ANYBODY EVEN THE CLOSEST PERSON TO ME BC I DONT WANT TO INFECT THEM WITH SADNESS BC I WANT TO THE BE KIND OF PERSON WHO RADIATES HAPPINESS BUT IM JUST NOT IM ALWAYS SAD AND I AM JUST NOT THAT KIND. I JUST WANNA BE HAPPY AND CONTENTED WITH WHO AND WHAT I HAVE BUT IM JUST NOT. I LITERALLY FEEL LIKE IM NOTHING, I FEEL SO WORTHLESS AND THAT I DONT DESERVE TO BE LOVED AND IM SO HUNGRY FOR LOVE

hey babeyyyy. i'm so sorry to hear that you're dealing with this rn and like i can't tell you how much i relate but still i,,,, can't imagine the extent of your specific type of pain god :(( i got your other message and yeah PLEASE let's just fucking drink wine together and scream at the universe for being so unforgiving and unfair. :(( it sucks because i know there's nothing i can say to change your core beliefs but i am eternally proud of you for getting through these episodes and for managing to get by on a day to day basis. it's not easy and you deserve all the credit in the universe, dude. listen not to be dramatic but self hatred is literally a position that morphs every situation into something it's not. i know all the bad things you think about yourself seem like 100% fact, like there's no room for argument or alternative thought, but that truly is the trick of the sadness. i am telling you straight up from a perspective that is not biased by your own negative emotions: you are not unlovable. just because you're alone right now doesn't mean you always will be, and it is not a measurement of your worth as a person. it is totally okay to lose it and to cry and to feel overwhelmed at times, but it is not okay to hurt yourself (in any way) because of it. there is a line and you WILL learn to walk it if you give yourself the chance and the tools to do so. i promise that these concepts DO apply to you and you are not an exception to happiness and positive improvement just because you're current perspective is clouded by how hurt you are. you don't have to believe me at the moment, but please allow it to be something you consider when you're in a calmer frame of mind. that alone is good enough. those small choices do matter.

i totally get what you mean when you say it feels like you're infecting others with your sadness. sometimes i feel like my very presence does that. and you're allowed to feel that way, but you must try to simultaneously recognise that emotional vulnerability usually only strengthens the relationship you have with those around you. it's a way to let love in, the love you're looking for. maybe it's not romantic love but that's just one faucet of tenderness. yeah it's embarrassing but you must examine why you feel guilty over simply having a spectrum of human emotion. and you'd do the same for those you care about, right? leaning on each other is a good thing, it is so so necessary. the give and take is what makes things work. i'm not saying you have to go spilling your secrets to everyone. i'm saying it's ok to admit that you're struggling, as you have to me. even if you have to fucking force the words out. give those around you the opportunity to be a true friend to you. this seems like a very deeply rooted issue and, to be honest, if you haven't done so already i would also ask you to consider maybe talking to a professional about it if you can. i know your brains immediate response will be to shut the idea down, but you gotta see that that's just another tactic that will perpetuate the painful cycle. it can be your doctor, a counselor, even a mental health hotline it you don't know where to start. it may be that you need to reevaulte your self perception and face up to why you feel so scared and upset. a professional will be able to offer you specialized advice, show you how to cope in a healthier way when these emotions do arise, and show you how to question the anxieties so you see how illogical they are. seriously, if this is impacting your happiness and overall well being then there is nothing wrong with needing a more intensive form of support. i can't stress enough that your mental health is just as important and complex as your physical health and you do not have to try and confront it all on your own. sometimes medical assistance is needed, and that is fine. that's just reality. i get that it probably doesn't feel like a viable and realistic option for you at the moment. but please just let the idea linger. it's completely normal to be afraid, to not want to do it. but breaking these patterns starts with choosing to do something different, something for the better. no matter how much your brain rejects it.

that's just a thought though. no pressure, no commitment yet. for now, all you have to do is take a breath. give yourself a moment. allow your mind to go blank for a few seconds. you're here and you're going to be alright. i genuinely believe this is a stepping stone in your life and not a trap or a permanent destination. all of the things you desperately long for are nestled in the future. maybe not where you expect them to be, but there nonetheless. life really does only make sense backwards, and you must give yourself the time to live out the solutions to your problems, angel. it's easy to fall into the trap of thinking your circumstances dictate your significance but they don't. others truly don't see you the way you see yourself and someday someone is going to prove that to you. you'll be hugged, you'll be cherished. and the lack of something in your life is NOT an indicator that you don't deserve it. you do, you always will. it is so normal/human to crave companionship and a true connection, but that want does not determine your whole life. again, i know you don't believe me at the minute. but have a little trust in your older self. no matter how dramatically awful it all seems to you right now, there is a balance. and you will adapt to it, especially if you attempt to. i really hope you're okay and that you try your hardest to accept the rationality instead of the self loathing. you may not be able to every time but just giving it a go will make a difference. i'm sending so much love to you and i am really always here if you need a friend or someone to talk to, ok? hmu anytime.

[ishipallthings]

Cap-IM Rec Week 2018 (Saturday)

Kiss It Better Saturday: July 14th: Hurt/Comfort of any kind

Remember to leave kudos and comments for your hard-working authors!

Deep in the Heart of Me by Finely Honed (jaqen_hgar): There were days when the realization that he was someone’s father made Steve's head hurt, but mostly he was grateful that he could trust his instincts, because apparently, Peter was what had been missing from his life. Yes, he still had lingering unresolved issues from his time in the Army, and sure, he had what Bucky annoyingly referred to as a criminally untapped ass, and no life outside of work and Peter, but Steve was okay with how his life had turned out because of trusting his instincts.

Unfortunately, those same instincts had straight up betrayed him by going absolutely haywire upon being exposed to Tony Stark.

Hole in My Heart (That Goes All the Way to China) byMemoryDragon ( @memorydragon ): In which Steve is in stubborn denial and wants to shake some sense into Tony, Tony has a broken heart and wants to cheer Steve up, and pandas are cute and want bamboo.

Mine to Carry by MusicalLuna ( @musicalluna ): Steve cuts his hands up on the Iron Man armor and being unable to take care of himself is, to say the least, a struggle.

not without you by MusicalLuna ( @musicalluna ): Tony is a lot better at this than people give him credit for, and Steve was a lot more of a handful as a kid than anyone expected.

Put to Right by nightwalker ( @onemuseleft ): Tony's had a rough day. Steve knows how to make things right again.

5 Times Tony Had Steve's Back, and 1 Time Steve had Tony's byitsallAvengers ( @itsallavengers ): As it turns out, Steve gets himself into a lot more shit than you would think. And for some reason, it's always Tony who ends up saving his sorry ass.

Better Halves by Kiyaar ( @kiyaar ): Tony gets kidnapped. Steve does his best to get him back.

Deep Waters by AlchemyAlice: His power's running low, the arc reactor flickering. Cold, rancid sewer water is rushing into the fissure at his torn up shoulder, filling up the gaps, rising along his neck in frigid fingers. He's been like this before.

what you can’t give away you must carry with you by theappleppielifestyle: 

When they’re almost in the car, one of the reporters get s a lucky shot and says something in between the cacophony that somehow isn’t overlapped by twenty different voices: “Today is the anniversary of Obadiah Stane’s tragic boating accident. You two were very close, family even- any comments on his passing?”

Tony stiffens. Steve wouldn’t have been able to notice if he wasn’t pressed up against his side, but he is and he does.

(Or, Tony tells Steve about Obadiah.)

Till Human Voices Wake Us, and We Drown by BlossomsintheMist ( @blossomsinthemist ): Tony still has nightmares, and it drives him crazy, because he should be done with this, it should be over, but it's not, and he can't control how they make him feel. Luckily, Steve understands a little bit about how that goes. Established relationship.

take your time by romanoff ( @writingromanoff ): 'one day Tony emerges from his workshop and realises, for the first time in his life, he’s surrounded by people. By friends who like him for him rather than his money. He’s only really had Rhodey and Pepper (and JARVIS and the bots) before. Cue panic.'

Sir Hugsalot by XtaticPearl ( @xtaticpearlsblog ): Tony wants to be a caring friend but sometimes it's easier to create a bot to do it. Steve doesn't seem to have the same idea.

Happenstance and all that by gottalovev ( @gottalovev ): It's been six months since the Battle of New York and Tony is exhausted. The last thing he expected on Christmas' Eve was to meet Steve Rogers again by accident, in Central Park.

Haywired by Winterstar: After Steve gets wounded in battle and then recovers, things change and Tony has to find out why. Or the one where Steve goes blind and then really weird things happen.

darling, your worth is in more than gold by shell-heads (chocopies) ( @shell-heads ): "I'm sorry about your hands," Tony says, and Steve laughs.

"Tony," Steve tells him, quiet and plaintive as he spreads his bloody, bruised hands out. "I use these hands to draw something and it changes nothing. You use your hands, you could make a machine that saves an entire third world country halfway across the world."

over by soniclipstick (veriscence) ( @soniclipstick ): It breaks Steve’s heart, that even when it’s all over and done with, it isn’t. Even when they put their weapons away and try to live the life and sleep in the bed that they now share, they’re still fighting a seemingly never-ending war on the home-front.

Thaw (The Lookin' Through The Windows Remix) by Veldeia ( @veldeia ):

Sam isn't sure whether he's more worried for Steve, who's gone missing in the cold, or for Tony, who seems to have lost his mind. (AA)

All the Tomorrows by Sineala ( @sineala ): When Tony, already badly injured, faces off against the Mandarin, Steve comes to Tony's rescue. It's their first mission since the two of them have gotten together, and Steve discovers that there are some unexpected new feelings he has to deal with. (616)

One Last Second Chance by Muccamukk ( @muccamukk ): Tony Stark, second newest engineer at Rhodes Labs International, is just trying to rebuild from the ruins of his failed company, vanished fortune, and struggles with alcoholism. His goals include keeping his head down, avoiding stress and convincing Dr. Rhodes to let him build a really cool robot, so why does the universe keep throwing Avengers in his path? (Earth 57289)

Hope you guys enjoy the recs, and stay tuned for more this week!

For more recs, check out my Kiss It Better Saturday rec list from 2017 Cap-IM Rec Week.

[sakuurae]

wonder years; preview

» summary: Two years passed since Taeyong made it to a celebrity status. As time flew by, so did the distance between you two, marking the relationship with each other as good as strangers. Before he left, a promise was made when you were both young, and after those two long years he came back with intentions to fulfill it.

❀ pairing: celebrity!taeyong & reader insert || childhood friends!au

❀ includes: fluff, light angst

❀ wc: 2.2k for this preview !

❀ note: This fic will be complete fluff except for some ... minor angsty parts, hahaha. I havent written something like this (a hearty fic) on this current blog, so itll be a little different and i hope the finished product will be as enjoyable for you all as it was for me : ) The final product is estimating to be 20k~ words, give or take ... hahaha.

But heres a small preview for now ! It might seem abruptly cut off but i had to do it there since the rest would reveal how the rest of the story will probably go ! Haha. I also havent written anything in a while ... so forgive me if this isnt my prime adfgfkhgl

Im also still not used to putting ‘sakuurae’ on covers hah this is a sign to go back to ‘honeytaeyong’ huh ... lmaooo

Lee Taeyong was the cynosure of attention these days—well, months to be exact. He had risen to stardom expeditiously, and even the media was barely able to keep up alongside his worldwide activities. From country to country he had partnerships and photoshoots; filmings for commercials and parties by other celebrities on the top of the unspoken hierarchy. Deeming him as a busy man was an understatement, and honestly he strongly despised it. Taeyong missed his old, placid life more often than he should, almost as if he never had a peaceful life when he was young and the thought of a calm way of living was a dream he longed for. In fact, his past was seemingly clouded by a grey haze, for he could no longer remember what the sweet taste of fast food was like or even the feeling of spare time in his hands. Rather, the world was entering his grasp as power and fame creeped into his hands, but, of course, great power and fame came little choices—and it was far too late for Taeyong to escape.

Believe it or not, you had known the rising star Taeyong longer than anyone in the showbiz world had ever. Since you were six, and you had film photos as concrete evidence. Every time you saw his face on the screen and not on your hung picture frames you felt proud, happy for your friend; however, there was another sentiment that loomed desolation upon you. Due to Taeyong’s newfound hustle and bustle lifestyle, the messages and calls he would give you became rare—almost as if you were a fan whose luck was tested for a surprise call from his or her favourite celebrity. Needless to say, that disrupted the friendship and you were unsure if Taeyong and you were still as close as before. And the term “close” to describe your old friendship was too subtle.

Recalling the way you met Taeyong was easy, especially since the encounter was unforgettable. During recess when you were six years old you were on the field picking at dandelions to take home, in the distance you heard a boy yell incomprehensible words towards you. Once you looked up, a soccer ball went straight at your face, knocking you over to the grass. As ugly sobs spilled, a teacher accompanied you to the nurse’s office who only gave you a frozen bag of ice and the two empty words of “It’s okay.” The bump that formed on your head was sticking out protrudently so that the slightest touch made you wince in pain. Thinking about the rude boy at the time, you were furious, telling yourself you will never forgive him. But those silent swears were kept to yourself once the same young child that accidentally kicked the soccer ball to your face sneaked into the nurse’s office to release a string of apologies. Tears were prickling at his eyes as if he was the one who got physically hurt and not you, sniffles were not enough to prevent the upcoming sobs, and he was a nervous wreck. You glared at him in annoyance, aching to push him out of the office—maybe even punch—but before you committed to any actions he mumbled, “I’m really sorry.”

Those three words caught your attention; they were more genuine than the nurse who told you your injury was not as bad as you believed, as a result you stared at the flustered kid who kept on saying sorry. Each time you remained silent, tension thickened in the room. Silence ensued as you remained angry, and caused the boy to spit out, “Can I make this up to you somehow?”

Puffing your cheeks out, you declined and left the nurse’s office to sit in the front. That day you thought it was the last you would ever see Taeyong, but the next day he came into your class before lunch break with a can of soda in hand and another apology. Taeyong trailed you for a couple of minutes once lunch started; he took a seat next to you and offered you some carrots as if the item was a token of forgiveness, and you smiled at his gesture. That day you forgave him, and a friendship had formed. Instead of lingering around his friends, Taeyong spent time lingering by you around the slides of the play structure daily. That continued for a long while until junior high, where you would sit at the same table and chat the respite away childish drama.

You used to patronize his home when you were still young, accepting the love and affection from his family as if you were one of their own from day one, and he committed to the same—given the rare times your parents were both home. Since elementary to junior high, all throughout high school, you and Taeyong attended the same school and spent practically everyday pestering one another for fun. After racing to the nearby park where the loser would have to purchase an icy treat, the two of you always sat down on neighboring slides in the play structure and informed each other about the boring day. The closeness was perceptible to everyone: students, teachers, and strangers. Many assumed the guy named Taeyong was your boyfriend, and subsequently raw shock was their reaction when you both denied the claims.

The thought of you dating Taeyong never crossed your mind until he started to drift away from you after high school graduation. There had to be something more than those races and hang outs that were able to be passed off as dates. Half a day was spent next to him typically, which made the week incomplete if failed to do so. You spent an incredible amount of time by his side, and you wondered why Taeyong and you never became an official item. Of course there was something more than a friendship—even if it was never spoken of, an attraction was active. But nothing changed. Often, you wondered if there was such thing as being too close to the point dating was out of the spectrum?

With his burst of fame, gone were the days of you and Taeyong constantly visiting each other’s houses and eating meals together as a complete family, sneaking into his bedroom through his window to finish one new series on Netflix, and subsequently crawling out through the artful entrance to spend the night out in the town. Once Taeyong was able to drive the nights became longer, and rather than freezing in the cold, situated on the park swings struggling to stutter words through the gelid air, you and Taeyong rested in the back seat of his vehicle and talked about all the stupid things in life. Annoying teachers, petulant drama, and words that reflected a broken heart poured from the lips and strengthened the bond. And sometimes when life became too much, a silence by him was all you needed.

Whenever you gawked at Taeyong at three in the morning, tired eyes fighting to remain open, you recalled how he used to be: physically and mentally. The boy who used to have black hair longer than most, a frown etched on his face to convince the universe he was tough, and an array of flannels had transformed into a man that flaunted an extended quiff and a sparkling smile by senior year. Of course you were not the only being who noticed the distinct change; that was how he was scouted to become the successful man he was today.

The night Taeyong told you he had a couple of auditions for minor roles in movies surprised you; in fact, you never suspected such a day would come so soon. You see, Taeyong was always partaking in theatre activities on-campus and off-campus. He earned thespian awards since he began acting extremely merituous, and soon his name was featured on articles and local news. He was the best of the best, and everyone knew. So once he booked a flight out of the country to fulfill his dream, not many were surprised.

However, before Taeyong had left to fulfill his dreams, he made a promise to you: to be able to make you the happiest in the future. It wasn’t like he pledged to marry you in the future or take your hand accompanied by all the love he could spill; he wanted you to be happy alongside him as friends because life at the time was rough. Stress arrived like no other due to testing and college applications. The struggle to maintain nonpareil grades became a competition—the factor that determined the winner of a four year battle to gain valedictorian. Not only, but you and Taeyong were active participants in on-campus and off-campus theatre. Needless to say, you were both incredibly busy—and as all the stress from family and school accumulated, and so much more, the light that was joy had dissipated throughout the years. With parents kept entirely busy committing to their own service, you never had time to see them, which resulted in the element of trust falling short to speak to them about your issues. Taeyong was the only friend you trusted entirely—your heart and mind craved to vent to him whenever something went wrong—and he felt your pain the more you cried out to him in the middle of the night.

To the insane degree that Taeyong cared for you, everything was given to why he promised to make you happy.

His journey to fame was a long process sprawled throughout two years; nonetheless, Taeyong’s name was finally circulating the world like wildfire. Media wanted to feed off his fresh talents and looks, and other celebrities obtained an interest in the dashing man. Event after event, Taeyong was the name that hopped off everyone’s tongue. Acting modernly in prominence, he became closer to fans and created bonds with strangers, and despite Taeyong becoming closer to the whole entire world, the distance was growing rapidly between you two.

⭒ ⭒

The morning was busier than normal at the corner coffee shop you worked at—especially for a Tuesday morning. Most customers tended to be among the range of adults to elderly, but on this specific day there seemed to be clusters of young teenagers, each ordering the most aesthetic drinks from the menu. There was definitely going to be a boost in sales thanks to the younger group, so there had to be a reason for their spontaneous visit. The shop was extremely packed to the point you had no room to think of extra thoughts like those; all you were able to do was focus on drinks. Since the shop is on the compact side and cozier than most, gossip was simple to overhear.

“Did you see him yet?” said an excited girl who was balancing herself on her tiptoes.

Her friend seemed to shake her head, replying, “No, are you sure the tweet was true?”

“It had to be,” said another girl who was a stranger to the two. “It’s from an official news source.”

“Then where is he?” mumbled someone else.

Holding the tea shaker in hand, you stared at the cluster of curious girls, wondering who and what exactly they were referring to. A bump came to your hips from a fellow co-worker who wanted to snap you back to work, your trail of thought ended. “Focus, (y/n),” he ordered.

“Sorry, Ten,” you muttered, continuing to align the cup for the proper order. “Focusing is hard when there’s a bunch of loud customers.”

Ten laughed in agreement. “Apparently it’s because some celebrity is in town.”

“Did you read that from the tweet as well?” you jested, pouring the iced tea into the clear cup.

“Maybe.” He grinned while topping off his order with whipped cream. “I don’t even know what celebrity would have any business here. This town’s tiny, dingy, and quiet. The person’s changing everything.”

Chuckling, you capped the tea and went to the opposite end of the counter. “Kick the person out your town, Ten.” Reading the side of the cup, you read the black marker aloud, “Two large passion fruit iced teas for Johnny!”

The customer approached the counter and grabbed the drinks and grinned at you before reaching onto two straws. Before you were able to offer him a cup holder, he answered a call on his bluetooth and continued onto his day. “Hello, Tae?” said Johnny, who was clad in a casual outfit consisting of a white shirt tucked into black jeans. “Where are you?”

You stared at the man for a short while, the name that left his mouth lingering in your mind. “Tae,” you whispered. “God, the name reminds me of Taeyong.”

“Everything reminds you of Taeyong,” Ten poked fun, raising an eyebrow in a suggestive manner. “You sure the two of you weren’t some item or anything?”

Annoyed, you scoffed and brushed him aside to continue your busy morning at work. “Very funny.”

“Thanks.” Ten smiled. “My second job should probably be a stand-up comedian.”

[vronnica]

‹ ･ ｡ ☾  [ blackpink vc ] hey boys. soz for missing plotting hour and opening… my bf wanted a cheese and wine night, so y’all know i was knocked af for like 12+ hrs. but now i am back and ready for action ! HENNYWAYS,,, i’m acacia ( she/her ), i’m twenty years of age, and i hail from the pst timezone ! i love kpop ( specifically got7 and blackpink. however, my ult bias is vernon from seventeen. if you know, you know. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  ), milk tea, and mac and cheese. sooo sorry you’re all trapped in this rp w/ me. but y’all will learn to adore my 3am messages and casual spam on the dash. with that being said, under the cut you’ll find out more about my piece of shit baby angel, ronnie ! if you want ur muse to be friends with the stereotypical rich bitch. keep on readin bbs ;) psa: if you like this then you’re obligated to plot with me srry but i don’t make the rules. ( i’m jk please like this or i’ll cry. ) i’ll either slide in your IMs or you can contact me on discord @ mlilk#3162

jennie kim & cisfemale • hey, isn’t that veronica moon? she is that twenty-two year old that’s been living in conyers farm for twenty years. did you know her family is worth $18B? no wonder she is so ingenious & haughty. she is known around the estates as the aesthete, after all. 

                                Q U I C K   G U I D E   O F   V E R O N I C A

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STATISTICS PAGE

RELATIONSHIPS ( WANTED CONNECTIONS )

                                    H E R   D A I L Y   R O U T I N E

in veronica’s dreams, she is the epitome of a morning person. in reality, she’s a two in the afternoon kind of person. however, her schedule does not allow her to do that. so she does everything possible to transform herself into a morning person. new white rays shine through the window as she lies in her queen sized bed. she lifts up the aqua colored silk eye mask and the warm ball of light filtered through her thin eyelids. it takes her a moment to adjust but eventually her eyes flutter open to reveal the exhaust in her chocolate brown hues. she extends her arm out to her bed side table, grabbing ahold of her phone. she clears out the notifications that do not automatically appeal to her and checks the ones that do. after five minutes of procrastinating, she finally slips out of bed.

ronnie trudges her feet against the hardwood floor, making her way over to her bathroom. with a flick of a switch, the bright light from the crystal chandelier fills up the room. she runs herself a bath. filling the tub with lavender and jasmine bath salts. her le soir silk night slip pools around her feet as she climbs into the warm water. she’s completely and utterly relaxed. the time passes too quickly and she’s back on her feet. she wraps the fluffy white towel around her small frame and walks into her closet. winter, her favorite time of the year. she picks out a classic veronica moon outfit. a light orange and black tartan patterned dress paired with her wool cashmere burberry coat. and with a single spritz of her chanel no.5 onto her chest, she’s ready for the day.

                                              B A C K S T O R Y

moon jisung, ( chairman and co-owner of urban place resorts / hotels ) met vanessa ross ( retired model, turned fashion designer ) back in 1995 at one of vanessa’s casting calls. that, of course, was being held at urban place’s gangnam location. it definitely was not love at first sight. vanessa’s serious aura made jisung think she was a lawyer. jisung’s spazzy persona had vanessa thinking, “ this man is the chairman ? ” their relationship remained business. until one day jisung accidentally texted the designer one letter, “ q. ” from there, the relationship blossomed.

october 29, 1996, veronica moon was born, the moon family was complete, and they’re absolutely perfect. two years after she was born, jisung and vanessa decided to make a permanent home in conyers farm. therefore, veronica grew up in a really nice household. nice cars, designer clothes, and every day was a vacation. she was constantly spoiled. always given whatever she wants, whenever she wants. and of course, she’s used to getting her way all the time. ultimately making her: bad and boujee. her family is loaded. ( duh every1′s is. ) and she’s always been surrounded by lots of love and luxury.

being the only child, ronnie never had any consequences. in school, she became sort of a bully. she was very ruthless and cold. she had that, “i’ll do anything to get where i need to be,” personality. and if it meant paying someone to transfer the other student threatening her valedictorian spot, then yes, of course she’d do that. people either hated her or loved her. there was no in between. she kept her clique small. ( yes, a clique, which indeed was very exclusive. invite only. think of regina george or blair waldorf. ) she ran her school and she liked to keep it that way. 

once she graduated she became more of an adult about things. but, old habits die hard. therefore, some of those traits she developed in school still linger with her til this day. just a little more filtered. ( truly, just a tad bit. ) she got accepted into almost every ivy league college. her mother gave her the option to just pass on college. her father on the other hand, encouraged her to go to school to have the major under her belt. ultimately, she decided to go to yale and major in art history. ( she chose yale because it was only a little over an hour away from conyers. ) though, now, most of her classes are being completed online.

present time: veronica is currently taking a semester off school to really think about what she wants to do after she graduates. at the moment, she spends a majority of her time working on her art. growing up she always had an artistic eye. vanessa ( being a fashion designer ) taught her all the techniques when it came to drawing for fashion. though eventually, veronica steered away from the clothing industry and found herself drawing more intricate works of art.

                                           P E R S O N A L I T Y

too long; didn’t read: an angel with a halo unbalanced with horns, not a devil but not a saint either ?? kind yet has a backbone. softer than what she seems like. humorous and witty though understanding. mistrusting but willing to let loyalty speak. wealthy but tries not to depend on her family. stays away from the king glitterati lifestyle and fronts as if she’s just a normal gal livin’ in conyers etcetc.

she has that tell it like it is personality. she just calls it likes she sees it. even if she’s not exactly right. she’s literally drowning in her riches. making her materialistic af. some people might think she’s that dumb bimbo rich bitch. but she’s actually very VERY smart. witty and intelligent to be exact. 

super particular when it comes to most things. ( high maintenance queen. ) she wants things done correctly. so she often runs by the quote, “ if you want things right you gotta do it yourself. ” she absolutely despises like relying on others to get things done when she knows she could do it faster and better. a little bit of a ocd queen. 

her instagram = her job. it’s filled with ootds, selfies, food pics. but most importantly: her art. it’s the platform she uses to show people she isn’t just a pretty rich girl. she has talent. ( *insert "the kardashian's have no talent" - proven wrong in 7 minutes vid.* ) 

she’s very dedicated to her work, thus making her very goal oriented. she’s very creative and she’s actually a very good artist. she’s one of those people that set their mind to something and goes through with it until the end. i’m sure she picked up doodling and bullet journaling while growing up. *plays boss ass bitch vine.*

too long; didn’t read pt. 2: she’s slowly growing out of her tough head of hair and morphing into a young woman so beautiful over the years, but also at times, terrifying ?? self destructive ?? even if she’ll never let anyone see her deteriorate her insides sigh. she’s a hot mess. but she tries her best to hide that shit. yeye sweg.

                                            R E L A T I O N S H I P S

FRIENDSHIPS: she has plenty of friends, at least in her head. in reality, she just knows a lot of people through her many connections. so she has many affiliations. but never real friends. she’s very particular with the people she associates herself with. she believes that those around you reflect who you are as a person as well. therefore, she only surrounds herself with the best of the best. she may not be the best person to tell your secrets too either because she’s quite the gossip queen. but she can probably persuade you to trust her. rip. however, if you are a close friend of her’s, she’s very loyal to those who are loyal to her. which means she’d never do you dirty. but that’s only if she really cares about you. she’s a really great listener and she’s willing to give advice to those are willing to take it. plus, she’s the type to spoil the people she loves. so expect the best christmas gifts ever if u rollin’ with her. 

honestly, she really does need to surround herself with good people with genuinely good intentions. so please, someone teach her what loyalty is. 

bonus points if they’ve been friends for awhile. displays loyalty.

ENEMIES: she was bully in high school. so you know this girl has more than enough enemies ( and haters. ) she uses people, she pushes people around, etc etc. like she has some very evil intentions. she’s vengeful and irrational. she puts fuel to drama and loves to see people crash and burn. why ? she wants that reassurance that she is flourishing above all. she never wants to be belittled and will do anything to remain on the very top. however,,, ronnie does have some good intentions. she leans more to the chaotic neutral side. ( maybe tilted a bit more towards evil, but still. ) deep deeeeep deeeeeeeeeeep down the girl is trust issue central when it comes to letting people in. she can’t help it. she’s like that one rihanna meme, them: you can’t just cut people off. ronnie: *holds a pair of scissors* she doesn’t have problem with letting people go. so people think she’s a bitch because, “how could you just drop our five year long friendship like that.” and she’d just shrug. but really, she’s hurting beyond repair and will go home crying while eating a thing of ben & jerry’s chunky monkey.

there’s always that possibility where a friendship just didn’t work out. maybe they just stopped having time for each other and now it’s just mad awk. whatever it is, an enemy would b beaut.

veronica absolutely needs enemies. give her many. plenty. an abundance please.

LOVERS: i have a feeling she’s dabbled in the dating world. she’s had a few boyfriends, dates, etc. but most likely nothing LONG TERM. possibly because she doesn’t see the point unless it’s for marriage. just like her mom and dad. she has this [ beyoncé vc ] independent woman facade going on right now. which makes her seem like she doesn’t want anyone. but she’s secretly a hopeless romantic. this girl would love to be loved. and she truly needs it. she’s probably read tons of books about love and fluffy shit like that. it’d be a hard mission to win this girl over. but not impossible. she just has high expectations when it comes to relationships. so someone rlly needs to come here and treat this girl right. 

100% dabbles in the quick hook ups for the sake of fulfilling those needs. 

though, if the right person were to come along… she’d be loyal to them, completely devoted to just them.

CONGRATULATIONS ! you made it to end ! if you read all of this… i love you. i only ever write so much bc… it gets me in character lmao. also, i wrote all of this literally the moment i woke up so pls excuse any mistakes. i would really love to plot with everyone. so just slide into my IMs and we can get things started !! luv u *blows a kiss*