#though i could it might be a little cunty but it might be a little too cunty | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pawnshopbleus · 6 months

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The songbird was soo good I’m a sucker for jealousy 💗 could you maybe do jealous!snow x reader 🤭 ik he’d be so broody and hot

Flickerman's Charm

Summary - Lucretius "Lucky" Flickerman was charismatic and charming, not to mention pretty handsome. Women all over Panem (well, the ones with televisions) fawned over the weathercaster. He seemed harmless enough, but during the games, Lucretius gets a little too close to you and Coriolanus doesn’t like it.

Warning - Jealous Coriolanus, Cunty Draco Malfoy can do no wrong, P in V sex, Quickie in a closet, possessive Coriolanus. No contraceptives, Creampie, Coral slander (She's the 'District Four scum.' I did not like her 🤷🏿‍♀️), Mention of death, Not beta read :0

Author's Note - I AM OBSESSED WITH MAKING THE READER A PLINTH!! Anon, I hope I made you proud.

You cursed under your breath as you watched the big screen. Your tribute had been killed in the most brutal way. Your heart hurts for the poor kid. He was so young, so full of life, and now he was dead. Dead in less than twenty seconds by a group of tributes that had made an alliance. They stole his food and medicine. The food and medicine that you had begged your father for was now in the hands of some District Four scum.

With a huff, you remove yourself from your seat and sit with the other students from the Academy in the regular audience. Your classmates patted you on the back and gave their condolences as you sat there with your arms crossed.

Your reaction was better than your brother who threw his desk in anger as he saw his tribute, Marcus. He was strung up by steel poles and left to hang by his manacles. He was alive but badly beaten, but Sejanus didn’t know that. He was gone before he could see that Marcus was still alive, but there was no saving him. He was mercifully killed by another tribute.

His reaction was understandable. Marcus and him were boys together. They were one and the same, but the Plinths had money. They could afford to get out of there, but if they hadn't, that could have been Sejanus or you up there. That thought caused a chill to run down your spine.

Lucretius "Lucky" Flickerman had announced your tribute's death and watched you walk away. He said something witty and winked at the camera. Coriolanus subtly rolled his eyes and focused his attention back on the big screen.

It had been some time since the last death. People yawned and talked as the cameras flicked between tributes. It was quiet and dead. For the first time that night, there was no action going on. Coriolanus finally let his shoulders fall. He had been so tense throughout the entire first half of the games. At first, Lucy Grey didn’t take his advice. She was selfless and wanted to help the other tribute from her district. That would have been admirable if it wasn’t a life-or-death situation.

Coriolanus got up from his desk and scanned the room for you. He wanted to check in on you and see if you were okay. He knew that the games were hard for you and Sejanus. You two weren’t born in the capital which made you stand out. No matter how much money you had, people would still consider you District trash. Not him though. You were so much more than your status and wealth. You were kind, funny, bright, and extremely beautiful. Coriolanus was lucky you picked him. Out of every man in the Capital, you picked him.

Coriolanus’s eyes found you in the corner of the room. You were sitting in a chair while Flickerman leaned up against the wall. You looked up at him eagerly and ready to please. Flickerman tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear and tapped your chin affectionately. To the untrained eye, these gestures might have seemed innocent, but to Coriolanus, they didn’t.

His hands balled up into fists at his sides. He had to bite his lip to stop himself from yelling. He didn’t blame you, of course. You could do no wrong. It was Flickerman who was in the wrong. He was so much older than you. He was taking advantage of someone younger and sweeter.

He couldn’t believe the balls of this man. Everyone in the Capital knew that Coriolanus Snow and the daughter of Strabo Plinth were in a very committed relationship. Flickerman must have had a death wish because he patted your cheek affectionately. Coriolanus was the only one who was allowed to touch you. Coriolanus was the only one who got the pleasure of feeling your soft skin under his touch.

Before he knew it, Coriolanus was standing in front of you and Flickerman. He didn’t say a word as he grabbed you by your upper arm and pulled you out of the screening room. He didn’t care that the games were just starting to get interesting. He didn’t care that him storming out with you in his arms had just been broadcast on live television. All he cared about in this moment was you, and only you.

He dragged you to a closet not too far from the screening room. People gave the two of you confused looks as you stumbled every few steps.

Coriolanus pushed you into the dark closet and followed you in. He slammed the door behind him, leaving the two of you in the dark closet. The room was cold and you shuddered at the thought of what might come next.

“Coryo, what are you-”

You were shut up by Coriolanus' lips on yours. His lips moved in tandem with yours as the kiss got deeper and deeper. Coriolanus’s hands snaked up to the sides of your face, guiding you through the kiss. His lips were soft, contrasting the rhythm of the kiss. His body melted into yours. His hips rutted into yours as the two of you got carried away.

Coriolanus pulled away. He softly placed his forehead on yours and looked into your half-lidded eyes.

“Who do you belong to?” he asked, his mouth just inches away from yours.

You smirked, “No one.”

“Who do you belong to?” he bellowed. The people outside of the closet must have been too naive or too invested in the drama to care about Coriolanus's tone.

“You,” you breathed as you kissed him this time. He ripped his uniform off of himself and returned to the warmth of your lips. He squeezed at the flesh of your hips, silently begging you to take off your pants. You followed his request and kicked the red pants and skirt off of you. The Academy’s uniform was very impractical during this time.

Coriolanus' breathing was heavy from kissing you. “Are you sure you want this?” Like the gentleman he is, he asked for your consent. Even during the heated moments of passion, he wanted to let you know that you had the opportunity to say ‘no.’

You nodded your head but that wasn’t good enough. He bit the sensitive part of your neck, urging you to use your words. “Yes, Coryo. Fuck me.”

And he did just that. You were already wet from the way his hips rutted into yours earlier. That simple action made your clit throb and pussy soak your two hundred-dollar panties. Coriolanus flipped you around. Your clothed chest was against the cold wall of the closet and your legs were spread, exposing your cunt to the cold air. Coriolanus circled your clit with the tip of his hard cock and smeared your slick all along his length.

“Look at you. Already wet and I haven’t even touched you.” That was a lie. He’s done a lot more than just touch you, but you didn’t want to correct him.

Coriolanus slowly eased into you, letting your pussy stretch deliciously around him. He groaned in pleasure as your insides welcomed him with ease. You were made for him and only him.

Coriolanus’s hips slapped into your ass as he began to thrust in and out of you. He couldn’t choose what to do with his hands so he decided to alternate between slapping your ass cheeks and holding onto your waist. You, on the other hand, had one hand clamped over your mouth and the other was planted on the wall.

Coriolanus guided your hand from the wall to your clit, urging you to play with it. God, did it feel good. With his balls slapping your tender pussy, and his cock thrusting in and out of you, your clit was already begging to be played with. She was insatiable and begged to be the object that you spent the most time focusing on. You rubbed your clit from side to side, back and forth, trying to find the right angle until you found it. Your eyes fluttered close as you let out a silent moan, loving the way everything felt. Even though the closet was colder than ice, you were getting warm. Your hand rubbed your clit faster and faster as Coriolanus’s thrust matched your movements. If he kept going like that, you were going to come. The delicious thrust against your G-spot caused you to arch your back, searching for a deeper angle.

Coriolanus moaned at the newfound angle. You were so goddamn beautiful and for a split second, he couldn’t believe that you were real. He couldn’t believe that you chose him to be your boyfriend when there were more suitable men in the Capital, but he was thankful that you chose him. So thankful that he was the only one who could feel the way your pussy spasmed as you came. Your body shook with intense pleasure and Coriolanus continued his persistent thrusts, guiding you through your orgasm.

Coriolanus was close too. The way your pussy squeezed his cock made him double over in pleasure. His thrusts became slow and drawn out. His breathing became labored and rough as he tried to hold off his orgasm. Not too long after, he came inside of you. His cock painted your insides white. You could feel his throbbing cock release inside of you, and you nearly came again.

He slowly eased out of you. He knew how sensitive you were after sex and he always tried to make sure that this part was as painless as possible. He grabbed your underwear from the floor and handed them to you. His come had already begun to drip down your thighs. The sight made his cock twitch. You slide your panties up your thighs and let them take their rightful place on your pussy, trapping his come inside of you.

Once the two of you were fully dressed and ready, Coriolanus placed a gentle kiss on your forehead. “You did so good for me, dove. I’m sorry I was so rough earlier.”

“It’s okay,” you mumbled. “I just want to know what I did wrong.”

Coriolanus sighed, “You did nothing wrong. It was Flickerman.”

You were confused as to what Coriolanus was referring to. All he did was tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear and oh- Was Coriolanus jealous?

“Coryo, you have nothing to worry about. I only have eyes for you.” You booped his nose affectionately which caused him to crinkle it and smile. A smile from him was rare these days. He was always so stressed about school, money, the games, or how he was going to style his hair in the mornings.

Outside of the closet, cheers could be heard. You looked at Coriolanus in the dark closet and he opened the door. It took your eyes a few seconds to adjust to the light from the hallway. Coriolanus looked at you in the light and you looked at him. The two of you definitely looked like you two just fucked. You went to go fix your hair, but he moved your hand away from your own hair.

“Leave it. I want them to know that I'm the only man that can fuck you."

#coriolanus snow x reader #young coriolanus snow #coriolanus snow smut #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus snow fanfiction #smut #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #coriolanus snow x you #coriolanus snow #the hunger games

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copinghardasfvck · 6 months

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winter mornings

SEVERUS SNAPE X READER

a/n: i wrote this with myself in mind so there might (???) be implications of a hefty age gap but i think its readable from any background. also this shit was supposed to be quick. lo and behold ive been tippity tappin my little fingers for 2 hrs in my car to produce this tasty little filth for you girlies

summary : no plot just fucking

tags: smut, soft, light degradation, cosy, a moment of teacher roleplay but its up to you to decide if they’re actually teacher/student or just rp, assumed use of contraceptives, dumbification, piv, creampie

The fireplace remained crackling as you turned off the stove. But even with the warmth of the first, your toes wiggled against each other, in an attempt to stay warm.

You wiggled your hips a little, lightly humming Last Christmas — you don't know how anyone could hate muggles so much. They had to admit muggle music had its merits. They do Christmas right. As you danced, you transferred the bacon you had just cooked onto a plate along side the waffles you previously prepared.

You then made your way to the refrigerator to loot Severus's collection of fruit. The thought, I hope he isn't awake yet was rudely interrupted by two strong arms circling around your waist, cinching your — his — white dress shirt around your waist.

"Get back in bed!" you hissed, placing your hands over his, which held you tightly.

A tired hum left him and he kissed your neck... trailing up to your jaw. Smiling, you leaned into it, reveling in your realization that his arms were bare. You turned, eyeing his frame. He was only wearing black pajama pants. Chest bare, probably because you stole his shirt.

He looked at you, pursing his lips as he took in your entire form. You had slipped on panties. But you hadn't bothered in even buttoning up his shirt. You were definitely an indecent sight. But in your defense you hadn't planned to stay out of bed too long. You were hoping to surprise him. He raised his brows at you, though a sort of softness remained in his eyes.

The way he was looking at you... Maybe it was the fact that the love you held for him made you dizzy. Fuzz clouded your head and your lids felt heavy. You felt like you couldn't stop admiring him because even if you got tired of his eyes, you could rave on and on about how adorable his nose is. And if you ever got tired of his nose, you could talk anyones ears off about line that formed between his eyebrows when his face hardened. In short, this feeling was hypnotic.

Maybe its the mere fact that you were hypnotized, dizzy, fuzzy, but you could swear the gaze he trained on you seemed like he could not tear his gaze away from you even if he wanted to. Severus knew you were right. That after he met you, he understood Narcissus better. He felt like he could forget to eat, sleep, forget all the necessities of life just because hes so taken by your beauty staring back at him.

With a case of blueberries in your right hand, you wrapped your arms around his neck, watching his eyebrows jump up amusedly at your affection.

Your pussy always got so wet when he did that. There was something in that — the fact that he always looked so confident, waiting for you to make the next move, letting you surprise him, letting you take control — take initiative. And just letting himself be amused by your forwardness. You smirked at him, first looking up, doe eyed into his eyes, then letting your eyes fall to his lips.

You bit your lip, "Good morning, handsome," Then you looked back up to meet his hooded eyes.

The corners of his lips had turned up by then. "Good morning, love."

There was a churning in your stomach in response. He always got you with the simplest of phrases. "I was making you breakfast but you spoiled the surprise."

"I apologize," he said, hushed. Eyes still so focused and trained on you, like he was melting into your gaze.

"I don't accept your apology."

His brows lifted inquisitively, the corners of his mouth stretching wider into a full smile. Oh if only anyone else were there to witness the rare occurrence of Severus Snape, certified grump, cracking such a wide smile just for his little dearest love. "I am your humble servant, my dear, simply point me in the direction of repentance."

You smirked wider, letting your eyes flicker down and up again, making it clear to him what you wanted, If it wasn't already abundantly clear. "Kiss me, you dolt."

Severus didn't need to be told twice. His lips came down on yours hungrily and you whimpered, immediately parting your lips to accept his tongue. You back arched back and you adjusted your grip on his neck to keep you upright, your right leg coming up against his side. He took your thigh in his hand, keeping his other arm around you for support.

Then he hissed and gently detached from you. You stared up at him, light concern in your eyes, because you hadn't realized yet, but you still had a container of blueberries in your hand, fresh out of the fridge. And as you were snogging your boyfriend, you accidentally placed the very cold container against his unclothed skin.

"Cold," he reached back, taking it from you, and tossed it carelessly on the kitchen counter. Then he wrapped his arms your waist again.

A wide apologetic smile spread across your face and you giggled, "sorry."

He kissed you over and over, "Unacceptable," and hooked an arm under your ass to lift you up. You squealed, giggling the whole way as he walked over to the couch in the living space adjacent to his kitchen and threw you on top of it.

"What in Merlin's name did I do to deserve such a perfect little toy, mm?" he asked, almost as if he were honestly inquiring.

You shrugged and took the opportunity to tease him, "I know right? Yours to fuck any time you want, and I cook you breakfast."

He huffed a little laugh and kissed you again. Your heart soared.

You loved these private moments so much — these moments when it feels as if you are truly the only two people in the world. The tender vulnerability behind your praises and gentle bouncing back and forth of banter... It really made it feel like your two souls — usually dim and passively burning for the mere sake of keeping your mortal bodies going — burned together in a fiery dance. A dance, on a dark, black, and substance-less stage, in nothing but space. A dance that no one could see or feel or experience the way you experienced it.

Nothing even matters. Nothing but him.

Only his lips, his body, his pleasure, him. His mind, his heart. You'd protect and nurture and grow all of it.

Sighing into the kiss, you wrapped your legs around his waist and tightened your legs. He grunted in response, inhaling deeply before parting from your lips. His jaw was clenched, eyes hooded and dark, as he stared down at your smiling face.

"You think you're so cute?"

You nodded, lightly rolling your hips in a circle, your pussy feeling so hot. And there was just a flimsy little string blocking your vulva from the fabric of his pants.

"… Rubbing on me like a little bitch in heat."

Despite the harshness of his words, your eyes widened and you bit your lip, a small whine escaping because if you thought your stomach was twisting and churning before, you were positively ill with desire now.

He sighed, pressing his forehead against yours, hair draping over your face. You dug your heel into his backside, trying to press him closer. His dick rubbing against your pussy was so fucking delicious. his labored breaths were hot against your skin, nose pressed to the side of yours. If you didn't know him any better, you'd think he was about to cum in his pants like a schoolboy. But you knew him better.

"Cute little whore..." he muttered, twisting his face over to give you a few small pecks, all as he loosened his pants and shimmied them down his hips.

Something feral left your throat when his cock was pressed against your cunt. "Feels so hot, Sev," you were absolutely breathless.

And god you couldn't stop looking up at him with those pouty eyes. Every time you looked up at him through your pretty little eyelashes a flash of desire shot through him — the desire to see that face he loved. The face you made when you were so consumed by pleasure, so cock drunk, that your eyes screwed shut and tears pricked at your eyes.

The angry red head of his cock was leaking a little so you pushed your panties to the side and rolled your hips so that his juices collected on your pussy lips. Not that you needed extra lubrication that badly. Your cunt was already leaking into your other puckered hole and it was soon to be on the couch if he didn't hurry up and fuck you. But he loved to watch you tease yourself.

"Do you want me to fuck you, my sweet little whore?"

"Duh," You furrowed your brows, the bit of sass slipping out because you were at a point of arousal where tiny hot spikes of frustration were starting to poke and prod at your brain. You want him so bad. You need him.

"Beg me, then. Out loud like a good girl," he smirked at you this time and you whined, rolling your eyes.

You're rubbing your naked pussy on his bare cock and he still needs you to tell him how badly you want him to fuck you into next week. How you want him to fuck you so hard you wake up in summer.

"Out loud."

Bastard.

A small chuckle left him and he adjusted so that his shaft, now covered in your juices, wasn't that part that was rubbing against your cunt. No, the bastard started rubbing his tip along your hole, dipping in a little just to tease.

You whined again, "Please please fuck my wet little cunt, sir. I need you. I-I need your cock it'd feel so perfect," you mumbled softly, back arching off the soft couch. Your lips brushed his with every word, eyes flutter close from the frustrating desire coursing through you. Your heart... You wonder if he could feel your heart. If he did, you wonder if he was worried about how fast it was going.

“Such a lovely thing,” He muttered, “Good little witch, begging for my cock so prettily,” And he finally sunk his dick into you, slowly.

You moaned at the stretch, tossing your head to the side, eyes shut tight, lips parted, brows furrowed together.

Severus was quick to take your chin and twist your face back into view. Through a deep groan, he commanded “Open. Your. Eyes.”

You obeyed, breath hitching at the intensity of his stare. His eyelids dropped a little as he sighed, pressing his forehead against yours again. Then he began a slow pace of thrusting in and out of you.

Your parted lips continued to brush against his due to your proximity and you obediently kept your heavy eyes trained on his no matter how badly they wanted to flutter shut and enjoy the intimacy of his touch and his warmth surrounding you. You forced them open because he ordered it.

“Outstanding,” He smirked, teasing, “Always, this cunt is always deserving of the highest marks.”

“Thank you Professor, I’m happy my tight little pussy pleases you so much,” You mewled, a string of barely coherent words, highpitched, due to the pleasure you were feeling. You saw as his eyebrows knitted together. Merlin he was beautiful. “‘wanna make you cum. fuck me harder? Please?”

“Dirty little…” He chuckled, “Want me to use you like a little whore to empty my cock into? Is that it?”

“m’yeah want you to use me, Severus please be rough,”officially overwhelmed by the pleasure and the further arousal, you wrapped your legs back around him, using your heel to coax his hip movement how you liked.

“Since you begged so sweetly,” He gave you a little peck before pulling back. and you whined at the distance. That whine quickly caught in the back of your throat though because Severus gripped your hips with his big hands, hard. And he began fucking down into you with increased fervor.

You called out, eyes screwing shut once more, legs tightening against his body. “Ahhh, oh S-sev!! Please,” You didn’t know what you were begging for.

But Merlin, it was all so much. His praises echoed in your head alongside the dirty, condescending words that accompanied them. All the while the sound of your impossibly wet cunt squishing with every re-entry into your eager hole, the sound of Severus Snape’s balls slapping against the moist patch that formed along your taint and asshole, the perfect way he fit inside you… It was enough to make a girl go absolutely insane.

“Your cunt sucks me back in when even I pull out. Do you feel that, lovely girl? How badly it needs me.”

“Y-yes!!” You said, struggling to form any coherent thoughts. Oh Merlin… you love getting to this point. “Need…. Mmm need it!”

“So beautiful when you’re drunk on cock, when you get so stupid,” Severus rambled, one hand making its way to your hair to pull on it, “Perfect little pussy.”

You yelped, screaming more yes’s as he fucked you harder, hurdling toward an intense orgasm.

He fucked you like that, pulling on your hair, hips snapping back and forth. The head of his cock rammed into your most sensitive spot inside you over and over.

“I’m s-so… Please, Sev please,”

“Use your words, dear, be polite,” He spoke through shaking moans. He was getting close too.

“C-cum,” You tried, legs shaking, “‘m gonna cum sir”

“Go on then, darling milk me dry. Cum for me.”

Once you heard the deep baritone command, you allowed yourself to release. He leaned down, captured your lips in his and pumped you a little faster and sloppier to reach his orgasm. You leaned back and watched his face contort as he pumped his cock a few more pronounce times to ensure he spilled all his seed inside.

You kissed his jaw as he recovered, licking and nipping his neck along your way down, your little hand cupping his other cheek. You loved kissing every part of him. You loved how warm he was, how his hair smelled, everything. He’s so lovely.

Breakfast is cold now.

#severus snape x reader

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cy-cyborg · 3 months

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Earlier today I saw a video from Council of geeks on Youtube talking about how frequently and potentially overused swearing is in adult animation. It’s a great video, but I wanted to add my 2c to the conversation real quick.

I grew up in rural Australia in an area that is primarily inhabited by bogans, and if there’s one thing rural bogans know, it’s casual swearing. Australia as a whole uses the word “cunt” in almost the same way we say “mate” - in some circles “cunt” is seen as the friendlier option, and bogans take that even further. constant, frequent swearing was such a normalised part of speech when I was a kid that it was normal for our teachers in high school (which starts in years 6 or 7 depending on the state, and goes all the way to year 12) to swear at us. Not aggressively mind you, they just used the words casually, and the kids would swear at them back. It wasn’t usually an issue, even when they were trying to be an asshole.

Despite this, even I find a lot of adult animation’s use of swear words a bit jarring at times, and I think Council of Geeks put the feeling i’d had about it into words very well: it’s the way a lot of these shows draw attention to it, even when it’s supposedly normalised.

The people back home can hardly get through a sentence without swearing at least once. at least. I use the word “fuck’n…” the same way other people use “umm…” and I know someone who named their dogs “sick cunt” (or “cunty” for short) and my own dad named one of my childhood dogs “fugly” (short for fucking ugly - that was his legal name my dad put on his adoption paperwork from the shelter). when these words are used so often, they do loose their impact, and you can tell they have by the way we all use them around there. If you’re going to use that same kind of frequent “bad” language in your work, you need to acknowledge it too. that’s where a lot of shows who try to emulate this way of speaking fall over.

As funny as it is to say, Spongbob was right when it called the obvious stand-ins for swear words “sentence enhancers” - that is usually the goal of words like “fuck” and “shit” when not used in the context of their literal definitions: to put emphasis on what’s being said. You could say “This traffic is SO slow!” or you could say “Fuck! This traffic is SO fucking slow!”. You could say “are you kidding me?” or you could say “Are you shitting me?” - in both these cases, the addition of the swear words emphasises the rest of the sentence and the emotion behind it.

But when you are swearing every other word, they stop working that way. “this traffic is so fucking slow” is a lot less impactful when that’s the 5th time you’ve said some variation of “fucking” that conversation. So when people back home swear, it’s just a filler word. there is no emphasis, there’s not heightened emotion, nothing. It’s a normal, standard part of speech that is so common and normalised, it sounds weird to people back home when you don’t use it. I’d go so far as to say it get’s the same kind of reaction from people back home as if you were speaking with flat affect (I’m saying this as an autistic person who took a while to warm up to swearing like that, with autistic friends who spoke with very little tone or expression).

phrases like “ah get fucked cunt” are an honestly very casual and friendly phrase (no, I’m not exaggerating) said the same tone you might use to say “nah I don’t feel like [whatever the topic of conversation was]”. honestly I tried to give some more examples, but it’s extremely difficult to demonstrate over text. Australia has a pretty big film and TV industry though, so if you want some examples of what I mean, watch some Aussie TV (look for anything with an MA or R rating, anything under that and they will likely limit the use of “foul language”) especially anything set in small towns or the bush or find rural aussie creators online.

My point is, If you want to have swearing and cursing as a part of your regular vocabulary in your setting, you need to treat it like it’s actually normalised like any other word. If you wouldn’t put emphasis on words like “house” or “dog” or “car” then don’t put that emphasis on words like “fuck” and “shit” lol.

#writing #writeblr #writing dialogue #writing advice #swearing

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collectingthestars · 1 month

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my full review of ttpd (a month late, shhh)

tw opinions. if you like a song that i don't or vice versa or you don't agree with a comment i made, good for you! get it off your chest, get it off my desk!

fortnight

One of Taylor’s weaker openers, it’s a nice song, not much going on though

the production is boppy, not much going on once again

Interesting how Taylor sees her muse as living a good life without her and a nice domestic scene with his wife watering flowers but for her, her husband is cheating on her, implying she thinks she will never be happy, maybe because of how this relationship went or her general perception of relationships and her experiences with them. That is my interpretation of the song.

The outro with post and taylor's harmonies SLAPS

Like I said, this song feels a bit lacking of substance both thematically and technically, it doesn't do it for me, i don't hate listening to it, i just don't love it.

i think it might be a song that grows on me over time but it won't ever be a fave for me.

i also think in light of the music video, it's lost some of its spark for me, as that music video made no sense to me. i don't think it deserved to be a single.

the tortured poets department

“You left your typerwriter at my apartment, straight from the tortured poets department” implying that this thing of which she is now part had been introduced to her by the muse

The muse has probably compared them to poets like Dylan Thomas and Patti Smith and probably romanticised their relationship into the work of a tortured poet, but that’s not real life.

Taylor brings back to reality that now because of his self sabotage that brought both of them down in this relationship, he has lost the one who will decode him, hold him, know him

the above are just little analyses i like making as i listen to the song, they have nothing to do about whether i like the song or not, it's just me trying to make sense of it. you'll see that a lot.

i do not like the charlie puth line. at all. why is it there?

also don't like the tattooed golden retriever line, the image of a tattooed golden retriever is terrifying.

i was so off-guard about the namedropping in this song, sorry i had no idea who dylan thomas or patti smith were.

this song is trying too hard to be poetic, i think (which one could argue is the whole point of this song), but it doesn't stand out much to me. the themes are interesting though.

this is a pretty weak title track, personally. i feel like it doesn't encapsulate the essence of the album (which i am confused about tbh, ttpd has a lot of aesthetics going on for itself). it has nothing on little fearless and evermore.

my boy only breaks his favourite toys

so we all thought this song would be pretty petty, but i honestly don't think it is extremely so. there's a sort of pity for the muse, that the breaking of his 'favourite toys' is a form of self sabotage and that they could've had it all.

i love how it starts so defeated, "oh here we go again", which i think is in reference to the muse's self sabotage ruining her life

it also feels a bit reflective and nostalgic of the fact that it wasn't all bad, which i quite liked. i liked the contrast of feelings.

"once i fix me, he's gonna miss me" is a devastating line btw

so is "he saw forever so he smashed it up"

song is a bop, i like the lyricism, overall i enjoy this song :)

down bad

i enjoy the cunty synth here ahaha. for all the jokes the fandom makes about jack fucking around with the synth while taylor sings the most soulcrushing lyrics, it is so real especially for this song.

taylor has never sounded so good while swearing. "fuck it if i can't have us" is such an earworm.

i feel like this is the most petty song in the album, mainly because of the "teenage petulance" in the lyrics

the callback to new romantics in the bridge is so insane, i noticed it immediately.

the production is so mystical and giving space alien vibes, i enjoy it.

so long, london

the intro is giving big ben bells and/or wedding bells

the fast beat vs the slow melodies is such an interesting juxtaposition (to my lit teacher, i hope i used this word right XD). i think it really highlights the conflicting feelings this song explores ("i'm just mad as hell 'cause i loved this place") and also how taylor isn't able to keep up with how quickly the relationship is dying (the production) and she's still sifting through her feelings to find acceptance (the melody)

"how much sad did you think i had" something something "how long can we be a sad song" something something "don't want no other shade of blue but you"

the bridge is just the most devastating strike to my heart

"you sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days" is one of my favourite lyrics on this album

track 5 is track 5ing

this song is a masterpiece, i genuinely love it so much

but daddy i love him

get this song out of my face, i hate it so much. blocked on spotify.

why did taylor have to waste good lyricism and production on such an awful premise and "fuck you" to her fans dishing valid criticism of her association with matty?

the baby line is hilarious though, because i did indeed fall for it the first time

like you can talk about taylor's agency all you want but everyone knows what the implications of this song are and i feel hurt and offended that this is the attitude both taylor and some swifties are taking.

"the most judgemental creeps" um, is this fucking play about us?

fresh out the slammer

her voice sounds beautiful in this

love the country twang in the production

it's giving getaway car thematically

i think it's interesting to see this song so soon after so long, london, where she says she was "going down with [the ship]" but she was literally dreaming about running into the arms of another man and was "[doing her] time". like ok girl!

vibey song but not for me. i don't have much to say on this.

florida!!!

IMMEDIATE FAVE, i had claimed this since day 1 and i was so right

cunty production, i can tell florence had a lot of influence. no more synths! bring out the drums!

at first, i had no idea what was happening in this song, but when taylor talked about it being about reinventing yourself, it made a lot more sense to me and i love that interpretation, it rings so true.

can i be honest and say that i thought it said "arms" not "home", like that doesn't even make sense 😭

florence's verse fucking slays, my only gripe is that her voice in the verse is kinda quiet compared to the instrumental. could've used some better mixing here.

"me and my ghosts had a hell of a time" is a banger of a line

the bridge is immaculate, has been in my head since i first listened to it.

this song is amazing, there is nothing like it, pure perfection. top song on the album.

guilty as sin?

obsessed with the beat

hedge maze = labyrinth = the mind, idk i just loved that connection

we have reached the ovulation song lmao

did you know it took me so long to realise the chorus was talking about masturbation? like i knew the song was horny, but i didn't realise it was THAT horny.

i think i called this a mature, sadder false god in my notes. that uncertain, sensual, desiring tone is probably what motivated that connection in my head.

WHAT IF HE'S WRITTEN MINE ON MY UPPER THIGH ONLY IN MY MIIIIIND

the bridge is so beautiful, i am a sucker for religious imagery.

overall i'm obsessed, beat good, lyricism good, i love it

who's afraid of little old me?

now i know this is the fan favourite, and i understand why. it gives an eery, angry vibe, and i also enjoy it. to some extent.

namely, the part i enjoy most is the circus imagery, i liked how she leaned into the circus animal metaphor to depict her struggles in fame and her relationships. it's like a badly behaved circus animal about to be put down absolutely losing it and raging about its plight, which i enjoy as a means of storytelling and expressing emotion. i also enjoy it as a callback to mirrorball and what happens when the mirrorball finally has had enough of shattering in a million pieces and performing for a largely uncaring crowd.

... which is why i don't like the asylum lyric. to me, it doesn't add in anything significant thematically when the rest of the song hardly has similar strains of discussion. not to mention the ableist overtones and trivialisation of the asylum experience but i just don't like this lyric. it weakens the premise of the song.

the production is also off in some places, it feels muted and underwhelming compared to the premise of the song.

it's an okay song, i 100% like the acoustic demo better that she came out with recently. some changes in production and the omission of that asylum lyric would put it higher up for me.

i can fix him (no really i can)

good thing this song is short because she couldn't fix him at all and i don't like this song.

"the jokes that he told across the bar were revolting and far too loud" euphemism for bigoted, taylor?

production is boring, the melody is also pretty boring. the lyrics are good, but not enough to save the song, in my humble opinion (it is after all my review here)

"good boy, that's right" taylor GET UP

the 'woah maybe i can't' is funny though, i'll give her that

loml

slayed, devoured, left no crumbs, left me emotionally devastated

the lyricism is absolutely beautiful, the sadness is tangible

the first time i listened to this, i was on the train, and i was so emotional, it was the perfect music to stare out the window to.

the impressionist painting line is also absolutely brilliant, took me out when i heard it. one of the best lyrics on the album.

the bridge and outro are the reasons i need therapy, destroyed me

loss of my life theorists won but at what cost.

i think some of taylor's simplest songs melodically have some of the most beautiful prose and emotional connection, i think she needs to tap into that more.

10/10 no notes.

i can do it with a broken heart

extreme whiplash hearing this after loml. similar whiplash to what taylor felt, i think, going on tour after such a heartbreak

someone pointed out that the almost metronomic beat and the faint counting in the background is like what taylor hears in her in-ear monitor on tour and i think that's really cool.

obsessed with this song so much

it has been stuck in my head since i first heard it

i never expected this to be the cuntiest song on the album but i am not disappointed at all.

"i cry a lot but i am so productive" is so mecore if i was actually productive

the ad libs at the end are also perfect

is it just me or can i hear crowd noises in the background?? am i imagining this??

i'm afraid the fandom is gravely misunderstanding this song. some are saying that taylor hates us because we were "shouting 'more!' " when she was feeling like this. some are saying that she doesn't resent us at all and that this song absolves us completely. those are both two extremes and my interpretation lies somewhere in the middle. this is not a callout to fans but also some factions of the fandom were (or are) being assholes demanding reputation tv and double albums all the time. acknowledge the nuance.

10/10 obsessed, fave song after florida!!!

the smallest man who ever lived

this song is good.

bridge of all time, indeed, she went OFF

the verses feel a bit meh to me but i love the chorus.

"you didn't measure up in any measure of a man" HAHA TAYLOR IT TOOK ME A SECOND TO GET THE DOUBLE ENTENDRE

this song is indeed petty, but it also feels defeated to me? like taylor just sounds tired of it all and quite hurt, that's what i got from it.

i also love the performance of this song on the eras tour. she is marching with an army and they keep taking hits throughout the song, until she eventually falls at the end. something something "the great war" something something "fighting with only your army, frontlines, don't you ignore me", etc.

the alchemy

i feel a little let down by this song? because from the name, i assumed this song would be using the concept of alchemy being a medieval science of turning things into gold or finding a universal cure as a metaphor for a broken/dying relationship.

also i don't understand how this is meant to be a love song, sounds really sad to me? like almost defeatist in terms of how the relationship.

why am i being bombarded by football metaphors?

i mean, it sort of plays on the idea of alchemy being a sort of magical transformation, but to me, it just feels like a synonym for chemistry.

" 'cause the sign on your heart says it's still reserved for me" is a cute lyric though.

it's quite formulaic as a song and there's not much going on for me. anyway.

clara bow

i really enjoy the concept of this song being the torch of fame being passed onto different women, from clara bow to stevie nicks to taylor swift to whoever's next.

once again, it's quite simple melodically, but this is where she shines! the typewriter while she was writing this must have been on fire!!

i also love how it plays on the concept of being put onto a pedestal as a famous woman and how you're only appealing until people decide you're not

"it's hell on earth to be heavenly" is such a perfect lyric.

the namedrop of herself GAGGED me on first listen, i was amazed.

it's a perfect closer to the first half, putting everything into the perspective of her fame and passing the torch onto something else because society has decided out with old, in with the new.

the black dog

the thing about the location settings makes me so ill, he didn't even think to turn it off for her. they probably shared locations to make sure they could check up on each other, and it was still on. it is such a tiny thing but so devastating.

the buildup on "old habits die screaming" ohhhhh this is amazing

the best laid plans... hoax...

"i still miss the smoke" people are making parallels to daylight but my first thought was lavender haze, like missing the lavender haze, you know?

the priest lyric is so devastating if you think about the fact that taylor thought she'd be meeting a priest about this relationship for a different, happier reason...

obsessed with this song, it's so beautiful.

the quietness of the verses and the loudness of the chorus, i am genuinely entranced, it is cinema.

imgonnagetyouback

do not ask me to compare this song with olivia rodrigo's "get him back", they're both on different levels thematically and tonally even though they use the same double entendre.

what narcotics did she put in this bridge XD

so boppy, and sensual, i adore it

i remember going on a long search for the literary device that is present in "i hear the whispers in your eyes", decided it was antithesis with the help of my followers. not at all relevant, but wanted to add it.

the albatross

i can make a lot of parallels to peace with this song.

it's so eery and mythical, i love it, treats taylor like a fable, an urban legend.

aaron dessner is a fucking legend, i am loving the production on the anthology

my folkmore girlie self is loving the anthology for real

i love the bait and switch to "fake news", exposing these rumours for simply that, and saying that she's not the dangerous one, the "jackals rais[ing] their hackles" are.

i am always a sucker for when taylor changes from third person to first person narration, it's so important to me. bait-and-switch, you are everything to me.

10/10 no notes.

chloe or sam or sophia or marcus

heartbreakingly beautiful. just a general melancholy around the breaking down of a relationship and is so so perfect.

the hologram lyric is not about cheating at all. the relationship is long gone, this is taylor envisioning her muse in a new relationship but she isn't there, hence the hologram. i've seen some people say it was about cheating, that interpretation doesn't make sense to me.

"you turned me into an idea of sorts" -> "the idea you had of me, who was she?"

random thought, but the lyricism on the anthology is so much better and natural as compared to the first half. i enjoy the bops on the first half but it also suffers from trying too much to be poetic (i think i said this about the title track especially). there are so many overloaded lyrical runs and random references that leave me confused and overwhelmed. the anthology however feels so much more quintessentially taylor.

don't have much to say on the song itself, i quite like it.

how did it end?

the intro literally makes me ascend!!

i really love how this song investigates and criticises the inherent curiosity people have around big news like a breakup, constantly probing for details.

once again, the simpler songs contain the best lyricism and melodies!!

this song both explains and expresses confusion about the end of the relationship, so i love the paradoxical nature of that.

"we learn the right steps to different dances" is such a devastating line and i think sums up the end of many relationships so succinctly.

the second chorus is giving right where you left me: "did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen?" etc.

THE BRIDGE, TAYLOR HOW DO YOU DO IT

the d-y-i-n-g part is just so devastating. taylor uses the themes of death and haunting so well on this album.

i know i've said this like 10 times, but this is just so so beautiful.

so high school

the guitar in the background is giving hits different, it hits different when it's you!!

despite the happy tone and lyrics, i do feel the sad, anxious undertone, the key example being the marry, kiss, or kill me part (the echoed "kill me", "it's just a game but really")

the aristotle and grand theft auto line has been used countlessly to shit on taylor's songwriting, and personally, i don't like this line. just doesn't hit right for me. however, i think it's unfair to pick cringe lyrics and ignore all the beautiful, meaningful ones to shit on taylor.

i do love the imagery with high school games like truth or dare and spin the bottle, really cements the "so high school" of it all.

this song is okay to me, it feels too american for me to enjoy it more lmao.

i hate it here

i love the poet and finance guy line at the beginning, it expresses a sort of desperation to get to know this person, to uncover their insecurities, deepest secrets, and love them anyway. it may also be introspective of taylor herself, idk.

calling comfort a construct is so quietly sad. convincing yourself since you've never had it, it can't be real because it's better than being cursed or doomed to never have it (see the prophecy)

this song is so escapist, but also so cynical about the escapism, it clearly isn't a preferred option, like it's not just escaping into childhood and nostalgia for the sake of it, it's because the real world fucking sucks.

the chorus slays, and is quite relatable.

the use of the word "precocious" is so interesting to me. she used it also in "but daddy i love him" if i remember correctly. like she resonates a lot with the feeling of being stunted in childhood or having seemed to never grow up -> "i have this thing where i get older but just never wiser" -> "i never grew up, it's getting so old" -> "i hit my peak at seven", idk i find it an interesting recurring theme in taylor's discography.

the 1830s line, and just that entire first half of the verse. i know why it's there, i know what it's doing, i know it's not meant to be taken seriously. still i don't like it. it also feels weird that she is calling out racism as a staple of the 1830s or whatever when she has shown us she is perfectly fine with dating a racist. you can say i'm being overdramatic. you can say i don't get it. idc. i try to ignore this part because this is a very good song and i love its themes and production.

"nostalgia is a mind's trick" i really love this because the entire song is so nostalgic for childhood and escapism but then she's like "actually nostalgia sucks" or it's not what it seems. no, the past would not have been better.

production feels like seven. themes quite different however (thematically, it would be robin, i think.)

the bridge combats the cynicism of the second verse which is so interesting to me. i love how opposing views on nostalgia and escapism are presented, the nuance is there.

the bridge is so mecore, i feel it in my bones.

thanK you aIMee

i really enjoy the small town as a microcosm for the giant music industry and reducing kim to a bully in this analogy.

this song is so cathartic for me, i really enjoy it in the lens of a friendship breakup.

she's so funny in this song "and so i changed your name and any real defining clues" while clearly spelling out her name in the song title.

the bridge fucking slays, likely thing for taylor to do.

it's such a breath of fresh air to have such a cathartic moment in an album that's largely dealing with huge emotions in huge ways, it's so interesting here as an addition to the anthology.

i look in people's windows

it's such a beautiful song and it's criminal how short it is

her voice sounds heavenly, i love how breathy it is.

it's giving "the outside" which is why i love it so much, i think

i think this not only works as a song grieving the end of a relationship but expressing the feeling of being left out in a current one; i definitely relate to it in that sense.

"does it feel alright not to know me?" is so so heartwrenching, i cannot do this

the prophecy

i am a sucker for mythology references so i'm already drawn in with the title.

once again, the song itself sounds so beautiful.

"i got cursed like eve got bitten" except she didn't get bitten?? the curse came after she ate the forbidden fruit?? i'm a bit confused here

WAIT NVM IT'S THE FACT THAT SHE DIDN'T GET BITTEN THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT OF THE SIMILE, HEAR ME OUT

saying something so factually incorrect and comparing it to her own experience implies that the latter is ALSO incorrect. she didn't "get cursed", she cursed herself!! which also defies the notion of "the prophecy", ohhhhhh i find this so interesting.

i think the notion of "a greater woman" or "a lesser woman" speaks to the expectations placed around women in relationships, they mustn't appear too desperate for love because that's undesirable but if they are nonchalant, they are also undesirable, it is worth exploring in terms of this song.

this song is so so sad and sadly so so relatable, i definitely find some comfort and resonance in this and it makes me really sad :(

i love the references to mythology and folklore made here, "the pricked hand" very obviously referencing sleeping beauty.

i always love it when taylor repeats the first verse at the end of a song, i think it speaks to the cyclical, circular nature of this specific feeling, that no matter how much she begs and pleads, "the prophecy" will never change.

cassandra

another mythology reference!!!

this being after "the prophecy" is so so deliberate, godssss

the piano is giving "mad woman", which i think is so fitting

"so they killed cassandra first 'cause she feared the worst" that's not actually why cassandra was killed in mythology but go off queen

"they say what doesn't kill you makes you aware" is an unreal run

that being said, i love it when taylor takes common sayings and aphorisms and gives them a twist. she does it a lot in this album, one of my favourite examples being "old habits die screaming" as a twist on "old habits die hard"

"blood's thick but nothin' like a payroll" i am hooked completely oml

10/10 no notes

peter

more folklore references, let's go!!!!

this song is so hauntingly beautiful, the lyricism is so poetic and flows perfectly, genuinely this is what i love about taylor

as a folklore girlie, i am WINNING with the anthology

i can't get over the "jet stream" line here vs "jet stream" in "call it what you want" 🫠

once again, a bridge that fucking slays, how does she keep doing it

it's so interesting how taylor grapples with the concept of childhood and precociousness in this album with so many mentions and callbacks to childhood and feeling stunted as a child and now, it really is an ode to "you're stuck at the age you became famous" (which is sad in many aspects but also problematic in others)

the chorus is also just so perfect, everything about this song is perfect.

the bolter

obsessed does not even cover it

what a banger start to a song

the chorus reminds me a lot of "illicit affairs", i think, interesting connections can be made there

"as she was leaving, it felt like breathing" as in a sigh of relief that it's over, but also she does it so often it is quite literally as quotidian and simple as "breathing"

i love taylor's tendencies to make songs in the third person narrative voice, i think her best storytelling comes out like this.

"there's escape in escaping"- i think this is sort of a commentary on how the identity of "the bolter" is like a coping/defense mechanism to ensure that she doesn't get hurt in a relationship, in that there is an escape from her insecurities, her worries, and the eminent pain she will face in the relationship by quite literally escaping.

but there's also often the bait and switch ("then it was bought by me", "i'm the albatross, i swept in at the rescue") but i find it so interesting that this song does not do that, if only i can make a meaningful analysis there, but my running theory is that she deliberately chooses to distance herself from the identity of "the bolter", bc while she does dote on this character and is rather affectionate in how she tells the story, she doesn't feel like attaching herself to it, in that maybe it's an identity she no longer wants to hold or that, like she frequently says, she doesn't believe these songs or stories are about her anymore and that they take on new meaning..

anyway i am loving this song, 10/10

robin

WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS SONG, IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL

it's so sweet how she is consoling the child, ensuring them that they should enjoy this time they have now, and that they will be kept safe from their future.

but it's so sad in that regard, like, "we don't wanna hurt you so we're not telling you how this will pan out to protect your childhood innocence".

this once again cements my preoccupation with taylor's discussions around childhood and youth, she mentions frequently how that was taken away from her too soon and how she has felt "precocious" because of it. it's so important to understand and this song should NOT be overlooked.

i really like it.

the manuscript

this song is so heartbreaking, i want to punch the wall

i never thought about the fact how doing the atw short film would have rekindled these old memories and feelings, and this song is surely a direct result of that. not surprising, in hindsight, but it still compelled me when i first heard it.

once again, youth being taken too soon!! precociousness!!

someone needs to take the word "precocious" away from me

"but the story isn't mine anymore" HHHHHHHHH THIS IS THE WHOLE POINT

very nice song, beautiful closer to the anthology and the entire album as a whole, "these stories used to be about me but now they're about you".

overall thoughts

i hate to say it, but i think this album is in a desperate need of editing; there's so much going on, most of which is compelling and worth exploring, but everything is disjunct with each other and i know this work is meant to feel messy, don't start with me there, but it shouldn't be messy to the point where it's confusing and overwhelming. there are so many concepts and metaphors that are so intriguing and clearly important in taylor's music but the final products of those become half-baked in mediocre production or mixing. this album feels rushed and is soaked with questionable decisions. for example, i think "i can do it with a broken heart" should have been a single and title track because i think it's such a central part of her experiences recently and clearly something permeating the rest of this collection, and how she learns to move on and cope in light of heartbreak. there are several moments where the lyricism of the album feels overwhelming and overcompensating, as in trying too hard to contain meaning. the best lyrical moments on this album are seamless and subtle, and very prosodic as well. taylor tried to deviate from that formula quite a bit and it didn't always work out for the best in this album. she is not as adept at throwing in conversational lyrics as her peers, her strength is in prose and storytelling. the production is also getting a bit old, it's very sonically cohesive, almost to the point of it being boring, and i think taylor needs to get a bit more experimental sonically, and also ensure that the melody and production work together in more different ways, and that maybe the melody is not relying on the production but vice versa. the album is certainly not all lows, but the lows are particularly lower than in other instances of her discography.

that being said, the highs on this album are absolutely breathtaking. the majority of the anthology and quite a few songs on this album captured me instantly. this album is quite mellow, and could have benefitted from another bop or two, but the ones we received were astounding!! this album also had some really strong lyricism, especially in the anthology, and it was so intriguing seeing the many metaphors and situations she used to express her feelings. her storytelling in particular really shone in this album in songs like "the albatross", "the bolter", "clara bow", "cassandra", "the manuscript" among others. i love the themes and ideas that taylor explored in this album, and overall the premises really compelled me.

in terms of rankings, i've separated the two halves. the first half (ttpd) is second-last and the second half (the anthology) is 8th out of 12 (not 11 because ttpd is split in two).

if you've read this far, congratulations, have a treat of your choice. please be mindful and respect my opinion, thanks!

#diya's musings #ts #ttpd review #ttpd #fave

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something-about-sunflowers · 8 months

Text

Alright, *cracks knuckles, back, pussy, crack, etc* more trailer to break down.

Mirror image of the shot in the teaser? Was it flipped for a reason or are we getting more than one scene like this? What boat are they on? It's not the dinghy, not the revenge (I don't THINK?), and they're not dressed the way they are with the Chinese pirates. (Red scarf presence noted.)

Speaking of: Is this 'Susan' he's talking to? This has to be early on, he's not got his cunty little earring yet. (Just trying to nail SOME of the timeline down, you understand.)

Scarf. Feeling more and more sure it's Ed's silk.

Oluwande 💚. The way this dialogue is cut seems like they're skipping something, the way Olu says 'you dumped him' doesn't flow with the conversation the way it would if it was a immediate response to Stede's 'no, why would he do that?'

Presented without comment.

They're eating the wedding cake. :)

This is presumably happening while Ed is throwing knives at Izzy's head. :(

Anyway. This looks like they're definitely trying to get Blackbeard to stop -

- doing this so they can get through the storm or tell him something's gone wrong. Maybe Izzy's foot/leg gets real bad during the storm? Could be a lot of things.

Initially I thought this might be a precursor to him menacing Frenchie in the one shot in the EW article, but that's in the galley not Stede's cabin and this is a bucket full of bottles (alcohol) and with Frenchie it's a box with bottles (containers, possibly food but I think it looks more likely to be medicine)

(for reference)

I think this is in the auxiliary wardrobe, bride figure in the top right.

Izzy looks MISERABLE here. Whether it's the idea of him knowing EXACTLY why they're at a wedding or because he's in a hell of a lot of pain (foot still present and infected and all that) or some unfortunate combination of both (likely both), I want to wrap him up in a blanket burrito and give him forehead kissies. Also, wider shot here lets me update who's where on the topdown, so:

Jim

Izzy

Frenchie

Fang

Archie

Unnamed bald one with the studded bracers behind Izzy in the previous shot

Ed. Ed you are like. Consistently seen smoking from a pipe. You can't handle a blunt? Or is the weed too dank? Also, pretty sure this is him and Anne and/or the person she's with in the shots a bit after this.

This is why I thought it might have been the shot from the EW article but again, different container with different miscellanea and different room. He. Does seem to be. Interacting with Frenchie a lot though. And. This instance seems very specifically similar to. To him interacting with. A certain someone else. In season 1. . . I'm not saying Izzy's out with a case of Leg Gone and Ed's leaning on Frenchie in the aftermath. . . but.

I feel this so hard. We've all been there Ed. Anyway I'm pretty sure this is the same place he's smoking with mysterious, mostly offscreen, light skin-toned hand person who may or may not be Anne and/or her friend. (No scarf.)

Genuinely I feel like the nose staying on his face would look more believable without the ribbon. Lucius didn't need a ribbon for his finger. Maybe if it was horizontal as opposed to diagonal? It looks LOOSE and that makes it seem like it's not secure enough to be staying on his face like it is.

Deserved (the punch). My baby's leg tho. :'(c It's not even the right height for him. Look how he's gotta bend his other leg just standing.

Olu fighting someone???

Bracer looks like guy number 6 from the wedding raid but this doesn't look like it's on a ship. This guy also seems to have a beard or something that the other guy didn't so idk.

Cracked the code here thanks to @tizzyizzy pointing out something in my server. I was right about this not being during the storm. I was wrong about it being a possibly mutiny. I'm gonna jump a bit ahead in the trailer in a sec to explain but: Ed's got a rock tied around his waist here. You can see the rock at the bottom of the screen.

You can see the line go taut and pull him down.

You can see the rock continue to pull him down. (The rock is right at the bottom of the screen.)

Jumping ahead in the trailer and. Well. Rock with some rope tied around it. (Once again, thank you Tizzy 🙏 you eagle eyed hero) The lighting certainly matches better than the storm did. The question is: Is Hornighost trying to talk him into it or out of it? (And. Yknow. Is he a ghost at all, even?)

Back to where we jumped from. Are these guys wearing the same clothes as the guy Stede 'did a punch' to? Looks like it. *Black Pete voice* What IS this fucking timeline!

Love that Izzy is the only one who doesn't duck away. Also 👀 Lucius spotted. Is he holding hands with Jim? He certainly seems comfortable positioned right between the two little killers doesn't he? ;3c

'Oh no my boat :'(c' Is anyone still on board or did they take a dinghy and get outta there after the storm?

This.

(New promo pic.) This.

(Skipping ahead in the trailer.) And this, are all the same version of Stede. The outfit (weird little arm flappies, red sash) and location are the same. This is absolutely a dream sequence. Stede is dreaming about being the kind of pirate he wishes he was. I'd also venture as to guess this is the extent of his 'revenge on Izzy' that Some Of You are all so clamoring for.

[Out of allowed images, please hold]

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piratecaptainscaptainpirates · 6 months

Note

What personality traits do you think make someone Stede coded or Ed coded(??

Well, the act of self-recognition through the other is so deeply personal that I think everyone you ask would give a different answer! I can tell you what I think but there's no guarantee it's what you (or anyone else) would find compelling!

For me, I deeply sympathize with both Ed and Stede and find a lot to relate to in both their arcs! But I think I'm more Stede-coded because:

His arc has a lot to do with how self-loathing can make you selfish. I think it's something anyone with self-esteem issues could easily relate to and find important.

He's a bitchy cunty queen! I'm a feminine gay man who talks and acts quite a bit like Stede and I love it! On the other hand, some people might relate more to his deep repression at the start of the show and his journey of queer self-discovery.

He really tries to choose kindness in a world that hasn't shown him a lot of it.

He can't be anyone other than himself, even though he's really tried.

Lots of fake-it-till-you-make-it confidence.

Soft, and he doesn't see that as a bad thing!

So fucking weird, in large part because he doesn't give a shit about other people are doing things, he wants to do it his way! Literally inspired me to start hanging up my stupid wall art

This is trivial but my man loves the ocean and the aesthetic of sailing ships and big same. Literally you all should see the amount of model ships in my house. I have a teeny-tiny Queen Anne's Revenge that can fit in the palm of your hand, it's metal and I got SO many cuts on my fingers building it but I think Stede would get a kick out of it

And for Ed:

Similar to Stede being unable to be anyone but himself, but in the opposite direction: he's been putting on a performance so long he's not sure who he is underneath

My man is so afraid all the time, so many of his actions are motivated by fear. He's afraid of himself especially.

Struggle with accepting he deserves nice things

Way more charismatic than Stede but just as goofy and just as much of a cringefail guy underneath

Relies a lot on an image of hypercompetence and sees any failure as The End

Really thrives on the simple things in life; warmth, good food, orgasms, little knick-knacks, soap that smells good

Dunno how popular an interpretation this is but he is so painfully trans man-coded; painting a beard on just screams beard dysphoria and all his reliance on the performance of hyper-masculinity reminds me so much of when I first started transitioning in high school and couldn't ever admit how much I liked, like, floral patterns and shit. Some trans guys swing so hard into masculinity we cover up what we really enjoy. Both Ed and I are feminine in a masculine way and I love that for us.

I relate deeply to both of them but I think I'm more Stede-coded!

Like I said, it's all super personal what you think makes a person Stede or Ed-coded, so I'm curious to see what others think!

#ofmd #our flag means death

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johannesson · 2 months

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I ordered a really cool book (long)

I know it's Julius Ceasar day but I just got this book and I'm really excited about it!~ I just received it and I'm very happy to have it in my hands. I'm planning on (carefully, gently) photographing the pages for archiving

It's called "Life of General Warren; To Which are Added Sketches of the Lives of De Kalb, Wayne and Morgan." Published by Nafis, Cornish and Co. in 1847.

The box it came in was neat, a box for cable staples. It was nicely packed with styrofoam cut precisely, so that the book didn't shift around at all during transit. It was also tucked into a small plastic bag taped shut, the person who sent it to me took care for the safety of the book. The book itself is really little, it makes all the people in the drawings so itty-bitty. It's reeally cute

The cover of the book is worth noting - the back half is right-side-up, but the front side is upside-down. There is a little man that was once embossed in fake gold, but it's since been rubbed off. You can tell a little around the edges.

The same design is on the back cover, with no gold embellishment. That's the only place on the book where I could find it. Like most other old books I've found so far, I don't have a lot of experience outside of my grandparents' collection, the spine is cloth and has nothing on it. It's bound with glue, so some of the pages are loose and falling out. Not all of them, though. I think this little embossed man is the same design as the one on the color page (plate?)

Here's the other color 'plate'

It's featuring the Battle of Bunker Hill. Famous, bloody fight that scared Howe, but not to make him quit. The colors here are red, blue, yellow and green. Wonder what ink they used for the pages? It's still very vibrant after over a hundred years. The faces of the little people are hard to see with my phone photo, but they're actually very expressive, and tiny. I think up there is Clinton? With the two Epaulets. Could be wrong though

There are more illustrations inside, these are the only two color ones. On the first two pages, someone wrote down in ink advertising them. There's also some writing here? The "twenty-two dollars" must have been written later in pencil. Nice cursive practice, didn't expect the ink to bleed on this paper, did you?

Someone also wrote down a recipe on the back of the front cover...can't tell what for. Something about 1/2 cup tea?

Lastly, someone's name

Nice to meet you, William. I think on the next pages it says 'his book' in pencil, but it's faded.

I think he liked doodling.

A few more notable mentions : studying medicine. He looks so bored of it. My favorite besides his wee cunty expression is the simple house outside the window

stop! i know you might be confused here, but this is page 56

not to be confused with

anyway here's cowpens. tarleton isn't in the drawing because he didn't want that shit illustrated, he got his ass beat

i'm close to finished Lock, Stock and Barrel, but when I do, I'll probably purchase that book and do a little review on it before reading and posting about this one. I'll need a whole day off for archiving it

UPDATE : I started reading and it turns out that a few pages are missing from the front of the book, with the first few loose from the binding. The rest should still be intact, but it leaves out some information that way :(

#General Warren #antique #antique books #18th century #revolutionary war #american revolution #history books

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wizzycore · 9 months

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your responses for the blorbo bingo are all so correct. might i request the shadow brothers ... (or just bat if you don't feel like doing all 3)

no way! i love all three shadow brothers. they're all getting bingos

first up is rat - i circled "lost potential" in more of a literal sense rather than a meta blorbo sense hahaha. i love rat, i love his frankly kinda beautiful outfit, and the ways that he is a little bit cunty.

next up is scorps - i actually really used to not like him because of how much i personally kinda dont like the organization and execution of part of mirage - but i've come around and i think he's cool. :-) he got the least screen time out of the three brothers and that's an incredibly huge crime. i wish we could've seen something bigger from him (eating the sun? anybody?) but i think the reason why we didnt is because of writer oopsies trying to get arc 3 together the way it was.

the bat, we know him, we love him. i think he spoke maybe 4 lines in game before i became inadvisably stupid over him. he's everything an angsty batman is and then after that he's goofy all the way down. unlike his brothers, of whom i wish we could see more of just to get a better sense of them and why they're like that, i wanna see more of bat just to hang out. i think he gets classical little sibling treatment though in that everybody in-game and out-of-game fawns all over him and pretty much ignores the other two. and maybe he deserves it a little. but its not the other twos fault

#blorbo bingo

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junjiie · 6 months

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ok got too excited for a sec and unfollowed you ignore that- but long awaited sol opinion time???

batter up wasn’t bad. idm the song tbh and at some point it might grow on me but overall the sound was boring tbh… no hate at all to the girls and stuff bc they’re so young but i feel that the company hyped this gg up for so long and with the reputation of being the next gg up yg after blackpink, the final product is less of a “this is trash” and more of a “this was all you could really do?” bc i know for a fact they probably have newer sounds kept away in the basement somewhere.

the vocals, rap, and dance are all great. but the main issue is that a lot of them are still minors. mainly the youngest who is 13. her voice will change a lot as she grows older and i hope yt know how to accommodate that properly bc i know for a fact that companies will force artists to sing in a certain range for their whole career bc “it’s what the people want”

i saw people complaining about not having a storyline to their group and tbh, i don’t think a group needs a story to be popular. i get that having concepts like that is what makes k-pop what it is, but if you focus too much on a storyline for your sounds, you lose part of the musical ascent and limit yourself to certain topics. im actually glad in this case that yg didn’t didn’t end up going with a storyline path bc it would restrict them further and with again, how they all are, having to make a concept that will fit the members for the whole long run is hard.

i think storyline are wonderful if you’re able to show subplots and different meanings within the songs without having to stick to that one story; each song is a tale itself. ateez and txt pull these off well imo just bc of the way they storylines are already so complicated, meaning you’d have to dig deeply into things for the lore. it’s not constricted to one side of things. idk if any of that made sense-

the mc was. boring… idk like i feel like the could have done so much more to show case them? the rap line had a good part in the mv where they got more physicality but the vocals just. stood. idk. maybe that’s just my inner performer who was told to use up the stage a lot coming though LMFAO

omg i hope you enjoyed this little spillage of my thoughts. i don’t think i’ll follow baby monster just bc it feels odd? to follow them when again, over half the members are younger than me TwT

ok soju show coming to you… sometime. that channel… always so late to things smh

SOL OPINION TIME!!!! iput my Glasses on and fought away the eepiness for this 🤓

1 - !!! THIS !!! i don’t think it’s a bad song at all. i did think it sounded a little like. quiet? but that’s j me probably ive had my headphones in p much all day at tinnitus inducing volume so. Yeah ❓ from what ive seen most people don’t think it’s bad or anything, the complaint is that it’s boring. like. lazytown snoozefest big yawn boring. they put people through that long of a wait and built up that much suspense and excitement for it to just be. That???? kind of giving low effort laziness i fear.. like at least make it a little bit life changing damn

2 - THIS ABAINNNNN more groups need to start making music for the sake of it being music my god 😭😭 the lore and storylines are cool if you’re into that but if you’re a more casual listener and you don’t wanna get into all the things you feel like you need to know prior to a release bc of all the importance the story has to it then it kinda sucks ??? take sticker for example (ijbol) . that was not complicated intricate story telling . they were cunty cowboys and taeil had a dog

3 - the mv erm… it was there idk 🙁 someone said if u told them it was a nugu group w $10 and a dream they’d believe it and lowk i would too 😭 some bits were cool ig but i was thinking…. its called “batter up”…. so couldn’t they do sth fun and . yk . baseball themed?? taking terminology from a game and then not hsing thatgame j sounds kinda stupid like i get u want them to look perfect and cool but its Right Thre .

THANKU FOR SPILLING UR THOUGHTS BSF!!! sry if i wasnt v coberent im tired lmao. i wont b following them either i j wanted to see what other people thought abt it :o

#someone said get teddy back as a prdcer IJBOL #i get that though… i love 1tym their stuff hits actually #ALSO THAT LYRIC U MENTIONED EARLIER #THE MONSTER ONE I CANT REMEMBER #I JUST. ???????#talking crazy big and they’ve been here 5 minutes 😭 cherry bomb core #anw sorry tbis is so late i saved it as a draftinstead of posting it LMAOO?????

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animentality · 1 year

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rey + hayward + cisco + the 7 exes - how do they play dark and darker, the other best game ever created

Hee hee.

Referenced book here.

Rey- he would play a wizard, every time, all the time. Would love spamming all his spells within three minutes of the game starting, on enemies, NPCs, and his friends. He pretty much never survives, because he's having too good of a time fighting every monster and jumping on players and getting third partied. But he's a good sport. Also, he's dumb enough that he sometimes goes through the red portals even when he has good loot and has the opportunity to just leave. Big Dummy.

Hayward- he's taking the first blue portal out first, every time. He actively doesn't tell his friends and doesn't even give them the option of maybe stealing it from him. He sometimes wanders off on his own, looking for his own way out. He'd main a barbarian, because it's the most OP right now and he will always play the most OP character. That being said, if they ever buff rogue, he will absolutely play Rogue and just stab bitches in corners. Like a cunt. Cunty gameplay.

Cisco- He'd play a cleric so he could just protect his friends and force them to do all the work for him. He basically hangs back until he thinks enemies are weak enough for him to kill. If you die first, he'll die trying to get your stuff, though. And either take it for himself when he escapes, or revive you. He's kind of a rat, though, might do good as rogue just for the escape potential. If Rogue ever gets buffed, anyway.

Anaheim- Barbarian main. Absolutely. If he played games, anyway, he'd be the guy who's always on your ass the second you win a crazy fight. He'd also camp the fucking portals like a little bitch.

Mesa- Ranger main, obviously. Likes to put traps outside of doors, and watch doors. Hates close combat fighting. Utilitarian too. She'll leave through blue portals, but if she happens to see more than one, she'll direct you over there before she goes. She only uses the fast arrow ability. She only aims for headshots.

Visalia- Fighter main. Loves the shield and sword combo. Loves stabbing bitches and engaging. Would rather fight players than boring bosses. Hates skeletons and engaging mini bosses. Wish Dark and Darker had Tiers.

Alameda- Mix between a Ranger and a Wizard main? Loves the long range stuff. Kind of oscillates between helping his teammates and being aggressive. He's relentless though, never lets anyone escape him. Likes to kill and be killed more than to play safe and survive. Will always try and save his friends rather than just abandon them because it's easier.

Fontana- Fighter/ Barbarian main. He loves being mega aggro. Avoids skeletons and flying skulls and corpses so he can get at random people. He plays so far away from his team, he might as well play solo. But he sometimes plays with randoms so he has meat shields.

Irvine- Plays all the roles equally. Would like to play what they think the team needs, whether that's a shield, a healer, a slow heavy hitter, or a magic user. They'd avoid Rogue, though, since Rogue is pretty useless and not great for team play. They would let you have blue portal every time. I also wanna say, they'd be good enough to handle the red portals too? They're quick at adapting to new games, and would be interested in the challenge.

Sol- Well....he would be a cleric, for the self healing. He would play pretty alone, though, mostly self healing himself. The only person he'd ever look out for is bumbling little Rey, running around the dungeon like a little fool. But he'd have a good time, as a babysitter.

Thanks for the ask!!!!

#writing #writers on tumblr #7 deadly habits #fantasy #dark and darker

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pacifymebby · 2 months

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But aye I think anything serious he'd do his best to keep private, as he gets more famous though he'll probably learn how hard that is and might even just eventually give up lol

Things is though, there’s people out there far more famous than Sam who can quite easily keep relationships under wraps. In Sam’s case it’s down to the girls, they are the ones (esp the main one he’s dabbling with now) that show people their together, she only really ever posts when she’s with him. It’s kinda telling? Idk but yeah i think he would care but then again he’s not that famous for his fan base to be so strong and the only way any of these girls or him would see what people say is if they come on tumblr or are sent it from some freaks on here lol x

Nah that is true as well and obviously this particular person definitely wants people to know whenever they're together haha. I've said what I think about that on here before though and every time I talk about this for too long I end up with proper cunty anons so I'm not gonna dwell on the lass or her Instagram stories haha.

Nah I think to an extent some of you are far too comfortable on here and like, don't realise how easy it actually is to stumble across stuff from Tumblr with a couple of name searches or something.

Stuff from here gets screenshot and put on twitter too, I've had my blog mentioned in twitter posts before that has then led people here. It could be really easy for a mate of hers to see stuff on twitter from here or for someone to have actually come on here. Idk how old you guys are but it wasn't that long ago that artists had their own Tumblr the same as they'd have an insta and twitter for interacting with fans.

I would say whether they found it from searching for it or not, that doesn't make it anymore their fault that people are bitching about them. Unless theyre interacting and adding fuel to the fire (I know some of you believe that, I do a little bit sometimes)

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evilvarric666-archive · 2 years

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its crazy how we can get so many diff things from the same story like thats real proof of how multifaceted multilayered and cunty this story is.. like. im walking while i write this and not checking it twice so it might end up making no fucking cents but. ive always seen dao as a game about (among other things) rebirth and its one of the main reasons why im still so in love with it.. like the best origins ACTUALLY start with a baptism of blood for the wardens.. brosca is born and recognized as an actual person in the surface but that could only happen after their baptism of blood (the proving in a minor way, but mainly the murder of behrat by their own hands, them emerging from the surface coated not only in remnants of the blood of the warrior and noble caste from the proving but mainly bathed in behrats blood, the remains of the dwarf that was a living reminder of how, in the eyes of orzammar, they would never be considered a person, only property, only a tool). through their blood, though his death, rebirth. like the fact tht they get their autonomy, their agency, the thing that literally separates a person from a possession AFTER the death of behrat and their ascension to the surface. them carving themselves a path out with THEIR OWN HANDS, THE LATENT BELIEF THAT LIFE HAS TO BE SOMETHING MORE, AND THEIR DESIRE TO LIVE AND BE RECOGNIZED, EVEN IF THEY HAD TO FORCE PEOPLE TO RECOGNIZE THEM AS A PERSON, but ultimately getting to leave their old inhuman existence behind through the help of others(1/?)

(2/?)brosca only getting collectively recognized as a person after going to the surface, the place where not only do they get to see real light and breathe fresh air, and actually FEEL unabashedly for the first time in their entire life, but also where they get to feel how its like to be treated like a regular individual. the first place where they are treated kindly and decently. brosca having to face the reality of their own latent mortality firsthand during the very same night of the day they arrive at ostagar. and them getting to experience the fullness and complexity of life and emotion, and the power that lies in them, only during the first blight, a time that is supposed to be the most hopeless and horrifying of times, but that is instead experienced by them as the year where they discovered not only themselves as a person through love, kindness and companionship, but also others. like dragon age origins is literally Life: the speedrun for some of the characters and the player. some of these mfs never got to live or be people before the events of dao. morrigan, zevran and brosca are reborn through other people's love and active recognition of their humanity. alistair only had a real sense of identity for the first time when duncan chose him and took him away and that stayed with him as an act of love. wynne was reborn when she fused with faith and she describes this new state of existence as "constantly feeling loved". oghren got another chance at life in the surface, and was reborn as a "hero" and later on, as a grey warden. sten "dies" when he loses his sword, becomes someone different and goes back home a changed man, despite looking the same. shale is murdered and put through literal hell by having her body turned into a literal tool, her identity and sense of personhood lost in the transformation and through others treatment of her as a tool. she spends years living as an object before being born again during the fifth blight, the first time ever she is allowed agency, gets her memories of her old life, is treated, loved, and recognized as a person, and chooses her own path for the first time ever.

(3/3)leliana dying after her torture and actually being reborn as a person due to the love that she found in the chantry. and the truth that rebirth, personhood, identity and humanity are not ever truly reached through violence.. always through courage, love and acceptance. i said v little abt zev and morrigan but like. morrigan's example being quite literally breaking free of her old life as her mother's tool, learning how to be a person, her own person, and being recognized and loved as one and not seen as something wicked and inhuman for the first time, and having the symbol of her humanity, identity and personhood returned to her (the mirror), just to end her story by her loving someone so much that she sacrifices her new life just to allow them to continue living. zev's rebirth as a person kinda mirrors morrigans, but it always drives me crazy how its like. recognized by the narrative as him actually choosing his identity as the black shadow after the fifth blight. like actual rebirth through love happens there, this actually being validated by taliesins line of "does zevran need to live?". the jarring difference between brosca and leske during their return to orzammar and the fact that zev mustve felt the same when he encountered taliesin again. the fact that both taliesin and leske are both the doubles and mirror/inverted images of zev and brosca, and that looking at them must've felt like looking at their won corpse. anyways something something humanity is only reached through love something something phoenix rises from the ashes etc. like the way that dao is both a story of rebirth and a love story because those two things are one and the same due to the deeply transformative nature of love, real love... this game fucks severely it sucks so fucking bad that dai was pure ass. umm anyways i forgot where i was going with this & its prolly unintelligible but umm. im a huge fan of your da posts especially the unhinged ones <3

#MISSED THIS WHEN YOU FIRST SENT IT. SCREAM.#crying and waving my hands around. ily you Get It.#ask #dragon age tag

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adultswim2021 · 3 years

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Space Ghost Coast to Coast #85: “In Memory of Elizabeth Reed” | December 7, 2003 - 11:30 PM | S08E04

Happy 20th anniversary, Adult Swim. And, boy, what a momentous episode of Ghost do we have here to celebrate. There are a number of episodes where the guest is an event unto itself and this is truly one of them. Frequent punchline William Shatner is an absolute cunt... and a proper legend. His cuntiness and legendary status are two things that seem to be at odds with one another, and the Space Ghost crew have managed to come up with an artfully idiosyncratic episode to match Shatner’s weird-guy-ness. It’s a classic for sure, and important. But (making a “smug dipshit” face) is it funny?

YES! It’s FUNNY! I will admit though, the first time I saw this episode I didn’t quite know what to make of it. This is partially because I’m very much a Star Trek agnostic. I’ve never been into Star Trek. In the last few years I’ve watched most of the pre-Next Gen motion pictures for inane list-making reasons, and I enjoyed them to varying degrees, but Star Trek is truly not for me. I’m more of a... well, I’m not a Star Wars guy either. What’s the other one? Uh... Spaceballs. That’s it. I’m more of a Spaceballs guy.

But I feel like I’ve absorbed a lot of Star Trek lore through cultural osmosis. I vaguely understand that William Shatner has had some deliberately-paced choreographed fight scene on those rocks from Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey. When I hear music similar to the the music that Jim Carrey hums in The Cable Guy, I’m pretty sure whatever it is I’m watching is doing a Star Trek thing. And yes, I’ve watched every single Red Letter Media “Mike and Rich talk about Star Trek for 4 hours” video. But even today, after having picked up more Star Trek knowledge on my journey to the grave, I still have this nagging feeling of “I only sort of get this”.

Still, this episode has a handful of screamingly funny lines, and the episode ends wonderfully, with Space Ghost in his death throes, suffering the ultimate indignity of dying in front of William Shatner. There’s also the part where Zorak asks why everyone in Star Trek is black, and a part where Moltar nervously reads from his fan fiction (from a book labeled TARD WARS, hahaha). Shatner, who has a reputation for being arrogant and difficult, is as good a sport as one could hope. The show makes good use of his hammier moments, and only shits on him slightly in the process. The most notable moment is when Shatner says to Zorak “didn't you and I fight to the death?” to which Zorak replies “That sounds pretty dumb, man”. I’ve actually quoted this line many times. It’s one of the best.

Also, for those of you who like to track these things: the show features callbacks to other episodes and shows; the handimen at Zorak’s apartment are clearly extras from Sealab 2020/2021, one of the Leprechauns from Aqua Teen Hunger Force shows up, and there’s a poignant callback to classic Space Ghost episode “Banjo”.

The title motif of this season is naming the episodes after Allman Brothers songs, and I always wondered about this one. Maybe I’m reaching, and it’s probably too disrespectful to be true, but I always thought that it was somehow a veiled reference to Shatner’s wife, whom he supposedly killed or let die. It’s simply too dark to be true, but it’s the first thought that immediately jumped to my mind when I first heard the title of this episode. Am I stupid for thinking this? Am I stupid because it OBVIOUSLY is a reference to that?? I simply do not know. I would like to know.

MAIL BAG

The big anniversary is upon us. What are your 20 favorite things about adult swim for 20 years going. Don't sleep on this question!

I gotta do SOMETHING special, so I might as well do this. More thought could have gone into this, but I spent about an hour trying to come up with episodes or moments from 20 different shows and putting them in rough chronological order. I limited myself to one episode/scene/moment/joke/whatever per show so it’s not all Space Ghost jokes. So, here we go:

Sealab 2021: “I, Robot”. Adult Swim proved it could be brilliant right out of the gate with the stealth premiere of “I, Robot”, but for Sealab it’s all downhill from here. (2000)

Space Ghost Coast to Coast: Space Ghost stops in his tracks to reminisce about the time Bobcat Goldthwait said "crack a window". The entire episode “Kentucky Nightmare” is brilliant, but this moment in particular so uniquely captures my sense of humor that it’s inexplicable. The dumb look on Space Ghost’s face when he stops in his tracks. Goddamn. (2001)

Aqua Teen Hunger Force: “Mayhem of the Mooninites” I tried very hard to make this all be individual jokes or scenes or whatever, but this is another episode where the entire thing is just line after line and I can’t really pick. This, “I Robot”, and “Kentucky Nightmare” is like a perfect trio illustrating how good Adult Swim really was right out of the gate. (2001)

Home Movies: Jason casually reveals that his parents have no idea who Brendon and Melissa are and that he spends most of his free-time making movies with them. This is the episode “Storm Warning” which is overall one of the best episodes of Home Movies, but this scene is probably my favorite. Illustrates how simple and hilarious the comedy is on this show. (2002)

Tom Goes to the Mayor: the end scene in “Undercover”, where they’ve shoddily reversed Tom’s various unnecessary surgeries and called him “Taumpy Tears” to boot. Positively sublime. (2006)

Metalocalypse: Dr. Rockso’s music video. From the episode “Dethclown”. I was never in love with this show as much as the true fans were, but there were a handful of incredible episodes. This episode basically tells one joke over and over and it’s very funny. It really ends with a bang showcasing Dr. Rockso’s shitty music video that celebrates cocaine use. His singing voice is hilarious. (2006)

Assy McGee: I am the only person in the world that defends Assy McGee as being “actually pretty good” and it’s all entirely due to this one line: Assy McGee (a pair of naked buttocks with legs, whose ass functions as his head) is forced to attend a black tie event and is just milling around wearing nothing but a black bow tie. Through clenched anus he delivers the line “I can barely breathe in this penguin suit”. The whole show is worth it for that joke. I don’t even know what episode it is except that it’s from one of the first few. I might not even have the line exactly right. But, I remember laughing so hard. I may not have laughed at Assy McGee again. (2006)

Saul of the Mole Men: The opening theme song. And nothing else. (2007)

Tim & Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!: Jim and Derrick. I should pick something more user-friendly maybe, since this episode almost entirely relies on being familiar with Tim & Eric’s previous episodes. But goddamn, this episode is such a funny concept (which is basically Tim & Eric doing an alternate MTV-ified version of Awesome Show) (2008)

Moral Orel: “Numb”. When Moral Orel suddenly stopped being a quirky Adult Swim comedy and suddenly started doing episodes that resembled art films. This episode is a fucking masterpiece. I remember sobbing the first time I saw it. There are a few in season 3 that are like that, but this one is my favorite. (2008)

Check it Out! with Dr. Steve Brule: Terry Bruge-Hiplo reviews “Dumpster’s Children”. Another bit of comedy that I’d describe as “inexplicable” and “sublime”, and it all hinges on an old man’s mouth. Holy fuck. I don’t think I’ve laughed harder than this at a TV show since. (2010)

Delocated: The ending of “Mole”, an extended Face/Off riff where Jon goes undercover as the scary mobster Sergei. In the final moments of the episode he marries a woman, fathers multiple children with her, and only then is pulled out of the mission. The episode is a tour-de-force of comic acting by Steve Cirbus, who is graciously allowed to shine for most of the episode. But man, that ending is fucking wonderful. (2010)

Venture Bros.: The ending of “Operation P.R.O.M.” a flurry of emotions hit me when “Like a Friend” by Pulp starts playing. The scene is so well done and weirdly touching. Brock realizes that deep down he gives a shit about the Venture family and is genuinely terrified something might happen to them. And then he gets to slaughter a bunch of Zorak monsters, which is also weirdly sweet. It’s even touching on a meta-level knowing that Jackson and Doc tried many times and failed to include licensed music in the show. I love Venture Bros, but I think we’d all be better off if this were the series finale. Sorry. I had to say it. (2010)

The Heart She Holler: The first scene with Patton being taught the way of the world posthumously by his father on a VHS tape. The first season of this show is amazing, but that scene, especially where Patton does a little Japanese bow and says “oh, hot dog!” is just hysterical. Literally every time a hot dog comes up in conversation my wife and I quote it. Please, do not scorn her, it’s not racist when SHE does it. (2011)

Eagleheart: The All That Jazz inspired finale. “Paradise Rising” is mostly a masterpiece, and how it ends is so fucking incredible. Easily the most under-rated show on Adult Swim and I’m not just saying that because... you know (mimes dick-sucking) (2014)

Rick and Morty: I watched the first two episodes of Rick and Morty, thought it was good, but for some reason didn’t become a devotee until my wife made me watch the Mr. Poopybutthole episode. It’s still my favorite episode, I think. (2015)

Brett Gelman’s Dinner in America: The “Dinner with” specials are all really good, but goddamn, this one hits. Should be shown in schools. I am going to go to every grade school in my county with an AR-15 (to get past the guards, of course) and I won’t leave until they call an assembly and they let me fumble around trying to find it on vimeo and play it for the students. (2016)

The Eric Andre Show: Eric interviews Steve Schirripa. The bit where he has an intern dip his balls in Steve’s spaghetti sauce is hilarious, naturally, but I’m here to showcase the running gag where every time Steve complains how hot the studio is, Eric just wordlessly hands him an ice cube until Steve explodes. It’s one of the most childishly hilarious things I’ve ever seen. It’s perfect. (2016)

Million Dollar Extreme Presents: World Peace: The Pick-Up artist sketch. I’m mostly unimpressed with MDE, and all but a few Sam Hyde bits leave me cold. But this sketch is a crowning achievement. I mean, I think these guys suck politically and are more mean than funny, but their sensibilities yielded one really incredible piece of comedy. Okay, I laughed at the blackface sketch too. There. You dragged it out of me. (2016) Joe Pera Talks With You: This show is beautiful and I love every episode. But the episode “Joe Pera Reads You The Church Announcements” Wherein Joe discovers a new-to-him song and can’t stop listening to it, is one of the most joyous episodes of television I’ve ever seen. A gateway episode. I tell everyone to please watch this one first. (2018)

#adult swim #space ghost coast to coast #adultswim2021

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