#though repetetive
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Photo
as someone raised exclusively on linux, here was mine






244K notes
·
View notes
Text

..Welp. Mother Brain knows I'm here.
#izoejgoiaerj#that's really cool though#love me a good buildup#also like the remixed norfair theme is so so good#i know i love the Kraid Theme in the nes game but the norfair theme is pretty good even if repetetive#but this remix ?? Chief kiss awesome#Metroid Zero Mission#Mabu plays Metroid
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Okay with a little more perspective, while I do think some of the lyrics are cringy - I just know Miss Swift writes Not For Me and that's absolutely fine - the true villain is Jack Antonoff.
#His production does nothing for her#It's boring bland repetetive#It drowns her voice it gives no character no emotion#(watched sth dissecting midnights for his production and all songs he's not producing Sound so much more ALIVE i guess it's the same now)#I have read the opinion that Anthology is the much better half and it seems it's less Antonoff#I guess trying to listen to it in order didn't help my opinion because i swear the first 5 or 6 songs all sound identical to me#Maybe i will try with the second half again#OR do what I usually do which is wait for my swiftie mutuals to sort through it and then I go Listen to the songs they keep mentioning#I liked so long london and daddy i love him (even though i thought that had way more potential)#Maybe there will be more! Would be fun!
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
A list of things that bother me about Dragon Age: The Veilguard Part 2
I already touched on a few things that caught my attention and personally irked me about the game. After getting through some more of it naturally a few more points have come up. Though I think they are not really new aspects but more concrete examples of what I had touched on last time.
Without further ado, let's get into it.
!Spoilers below the cut!
The dialogue is repetetive and at times contradictory
Like I already discussed last time the dialogue is bad, to express it in the simplest of terms. As I progressed through the game I stumbled upon a glaring example for what I mean.
In the questline where you infiltrate a Venatori meeting there is a part where Neve in disguise and in company of Rook and another companion gets a Venatori to admit that Elgar'nan was present but not Ghilan'nain. For some inexplicable reason Neve turns around and repeats this twice as if Rook wasn't present.
I stated in my last post that the game feels the need to state the obvious. This is what I mean. It makes the dialogue feel like a rough draft that was incorporated into the game without further polish.
As of its contradictory nature two examples come to mind.
In Harding's companion quest you meet this dwarf of Kal Sharok. His dialogue is stoic, no bullshit straight to the point and passionless. Which was fine. But after several minutes of him being that way they get to stone statue Valta who speaks in these misteryous riddles and suddenly he switches to this unserious tone of "Oh that weird statue, we never know what she's saying, ain't she funny." (I'm paraphrasing here). I was confused for half a minute because of his sudden change in attitude and left wondering what his characterization is supposed to be now: serious or quirky?
Same thing with Taash's whole story. This is especially upsetting because I feel like they could have done such great work with it.
Instead it suffers so much from several inconsistencies that I felt sorry for the VA because they actually did a great acting job.
Taash has a coming out scene with their mother where they reveal they're non-binary. Ignoring the usage of modern terms in a medieval-ish setting, the conflict about their gender makes no sense.
The writing wants you to believe Shathann is not okay with her child being non-binary but she never actually expresses such a thing. Actually Shathann sort of had an inkling that Taash was no ordinary woman ("Behaves more like a man...") and she never passed any negative judgement on it. When Taash told her this she even tried to understand by categorizing their identity into qunari vocabulary she knew (remember the term aqun-athlok?).
I get how hard it is to have an overly critical mother and the feeling of not being good enough but that was not what Shathann was about in that scene and it did Taash so dirty because they looked more like an entitled teenager than someone suffering from trauma and perfectionism.
But moving on.
Some old characters are mischaracterized
It's Scout Harding. I mean Harding.
I was really excited to have her as a companion in the new installment but they sort of butchered her character that I found myself annoyed everytime she opened her mouth.
And this is because they make her sound so immature. Really think about it. DATV somehow makes Scout Harding sound younger and more childish than she was in DAI despite the fact that she is supposed to be a whole decade older in DATV than in DAI.
I don't know what direction her VA recieved while recording but everything was pronounced so slowly and extra clear that it seemed at times that Harding was either talking to a confused elderly person or a child.
She herself uses expressions not fit for her age. The most jarring moment was when she called the Blight in D'meta's Crossing 'weird' and sounded like a teenager who has stumbled upon furry art for the first time on deviantArt. This pattern pretty much continues throughout the game. And it hurts so much.
Also Morrigan. She at least still uses her even for DA setting standards antiquated vocabulary but she is too happy and cheery and friendly.
Morrigan is not a nice person to those she does not know and like personally. But to Rook she was so nice despite having met them for the first time.
The Morrigan we have come to know love/hate should have been more snarky or at least more neutral in her demeanor.
The Venatori
I don't know why they are still a thing honestly. I was under the impression they have lost all footing after the death of Corypheus. Why would they follow the Gods of the people their country systemically abuses anyway?
Bonus: Why would the Antaam for that matter, as the qunari are so notoriously arcanophobic that they leash their mages, sew their mouths shut and literally call them "dangerous thing"?
Solas' spy network and agents
What happened to them? Where are they? Shouldn't he have a small army? Why weren't they used as the gods' agents instead of the Venatori? Surely, Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain would have an easier time simply controlling Fen'Harels elven army after imprisoning him in the fade.
The Chantry
It is just not present. Sure there are some Chantry buildings but there is no discussion of faith. In all previous DA games the Chantry has had a constant influence that could be felt everywhere. Faith was discussed and explored from various angles and perspectives, ranging from ultra conservative to progressive. But in Veilguard it's not there.
Why are we not exploring the Tevinter Chantry more? Why doesn't Emmrich discuss the nevarran Chantry, who follows the Sunburst Throne in Orlais, in regards to the Mournwatch, their necromancy practices and magic? Why was he not affected by the mage uprising that started in Kirkwall? How does he deal with faith and the Chantry? It is simply never mentioned.
By all accounts, this game avoids delving into the world like the plague.
Part 3
#long post#bioware critical#dragon age critical#dragon age#dragon age inquisition#dragon age 2#dragon age origins#dragon age the veilguard#da:tv#da:tv spoilers#emmrich volkarin#scout harding#morrigan#solas#elgar'nan#ghilan'nain#taash#shathann#neve gallus
230 notes
·
View notes
Text
To everyone that listened to my rants and read those little 'snits' of writing. I finally finished translating! I tried my best to not be too repetetive and to be at least half understandable. I'm so sorry if you guys can't understand something or it seems alwful or bad in general. I writed it for fun, it's a hobbie for me and it usually it's my way of dealing with a lot of shit in my mind.
Which means this book deal with slurs, curses/swearing, violence, abuse and other stuff that might be very uncomfortable for people like assault and pedophilia.
It also portray a lot of different mental/physical illnesses or otherwise disorders like autism, narcolepsia, depression, fibromyalgia. . .
If I could resume it... it's basically me. It's about me. Every character has a bit of me, either being their favorite color or the reason they're still alive. So it's not easy to digest, though most of it is not explicitly said.
If you still wanna read even after all of that. Them go on!
Here is the link for the first chapter in English
(Yes, we write in wattpad. What can I say? It's easy and nice. And most people wont read your stuff if it's not fanfic :>)
Also wanted to call all my moots that have helped me keep motivated. Also have a space of dedication for some of you in the book <3
@zithergiltscorner @f3ath3rflam3 @certified-woman-kisser @aspenindatree @opaquelavender @matthewlovesstardewvalley @annaleah719 @dustybookcover @the-toaster-rat @th3-r4t-48 @sweetashe @emilem-forevermore @chernobylcatfish09 @silly-fox-and-its-stuffies @aneptunicperson @please-be-nice-im-sensitive @somekindofneurodivergency @sage-way @preposterousray @silly-gizmo @stuck-in-a-forest ans the recent @chaos-gremlin. I thank you guys so much. Have no idea of how much it means for me
#traumawrites#writing#writers on tumblr#writer#writers#creative writing#Author#ironicaly there is no mountain#or king. . .#well what can i say??
85 notes
·
View notes
Note
*yeets cheese at narinder's ear*
P.S. THIS IS THE LAST TIME I REPLY TO THESE KINDS OF QUESTIONS!
Don't get me wrong, I had fun, but I can't keep answering to the same cheese throwing/pspsps asks: it is repetetive and I'm running out of ideas. It is nothing against you, just my choice!
I'll keep answering to the asks I'll personally find entertaining or interesting, though!
Luv ya!
330 notes
·
View notes
Text
Old Scars (Part 15)
Ledger!joker x reader
Fem!reader is kidnapped by the joker and his henchmen while just trying to get a moment's reprieve from her boring, soul-destroying job ✨️
Tw: I mean, we all saw TDK, right? I'd say this is on the same level/rating. Kidnapping, violence, mentions of minor characters (not J) being misogynist/threatening SA, reference to past traumatic injury. This chapter's pretty soft actually, no violence for once 😂 Beyond this i'm not sure, i'll update these when I write more.
Chapter 15 -
The next thing I was aware of was somebody else entering the room, though some time later. Their footsteps rounded the bed to the side I was curled up on and the sudden intrusion of the sound woke me up with a jolt. I looked up to see the familiar tall figure of a man in dress pants and a dishevelled shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He looked recently showered; his hair was still wet and his bare face still had some traces of shaving foam on it. He clumsily replaced the errant strap of his suspenders as they slid off of his shoulder and crouched down beside me. As I realised who he was, I struggled to untangle the knotted threads of reality and the dream.
"Hello there," he said, with a voice like dry leaves on asphalt.
"I saw you," I murmured shakily.
He sat down beside me on the bed with a hum which suggested he was intrigued.
"And you were afraid."
I pulled myself upright so that I was seated with my legs crossed, and much to my alarm quickly realised how few clothes I was wearing. I hurriedly clutched the bedsheets to me, feeling very exposed but trying (and failling) to play it off like I wasn't. Oh god, there was no way he and Tony hadn't already seen too much.
"Afraid of you? A little, yes, but everything in that place was terrifying. You were just part of the landscape," I said as nonchalantly as I could.
He seemed a little surprised by my candid answer and highly amused by my attempt to preserve some kind of modesty. He handed me a cold glass of water with a tablet fizzing away inside it.
"Drink that."
"What is it?"
"Just drink it."
I sighed, for once not having the energy to argue and began to sip it quickly, not liking the taste. When it was half empty, I put it on the bedside dresser. He stayed sat beside me, fingers pressed together into a steeple as he seemed to drift somewhere far away in his mind. I watched the muscles and tendons of his forearms flex as his fingers moved in repetetive shapes and sequences.
"Penny for your thoughts?" I asked in my hoarse voice, recalling that he had used this particular turn of phrase on me before.
The corner of his mouth twitched upwards in the faintest hint of a smile, recognition of how i'd passed his own words back to him. He didn't share, of course. He never liked to show his hand, no matter what game we were playing.
"What happened to me?" I asked instead.
"You don't remember your little, uh, scuffle with the Russian?"
"Don't be difficult, you know what I mean. What did he stick me with?" I grumbled.
He turned to look me up and down, measuring the depth of my frustration and finding it to be fairly shallow.
"A kind of fear toxin, courtesy of disgraced Arkham psychiatrist Jonathan Crane. I hear it's causing all sorts of trouble in the Narrows since the dealers got hold of it."
"Why would that ever be sold as a recreational drug?" I scoffed in disbelief.
"To be fair," he said, flicking his tongue against his lower lip, "I think it's deliberately mis-sold."
"False advertising," I echoed as I wondered if he'd always had such an unusual tic, or if he'd developed it over time. I still found it unnerving.
"Yes. Maybe he wants to hold people to ransom and grind out a little profit selling the antidote," J added.
"You think that's Crane's M.O.?" I asked.
His tongue clicked against his teeth as he let out a kind of exasperated sigh.
"How should I know? He's crazy."
I failed to stifle a grin at the irony of such a dismissal coming from him, of all people.
"What's so amusing to you?" He asked, his voice slithering back into a slightly more sinister register.
His face took on a serious expression and he flexed his jaw. I realised I might be treading dangerous ground.
"I just find it a little hypocritical. I bet people call you crazy too," I answered earnestly, not wanting his unpredicatable moods to mold my own behaviour.
"I'm not crazy. I'm not," he muttered, though whether he was talking to himself or me was unclear.
"I didn't say you were -".
"Ah but you were thinking it. You were about to," he pointed a finger in my direction as his eyes narrowed.
"I only meant that people would say it, I've no idea whether you actually are. Besides, I wouldn't know what counts as crazy anymore, not after that bad trip," I muttered with a roll of my eyes.
He seemed to ease off a little.
"So how long was I out?" I changed track.
He paused, like he was at an intersection deciding whether to follow me down this new road in conversation, eventually he did.
"A couple of days. We got the antitoxin in you within three hours but you had a highly concentrated dose."
I thought about what the whole syringe might have done to me. Vladislav had clearly meant to kill me, or drive me permanently out of my mind. I shuddered just as Tony reappeared with a bundle of clothes in hand and my duffle bag.
"Here, I washed these for you."
There was something so unexpected about this enormous, fierce man, handing me my clothes like a mother getting a child ready for school. He set down the bag and clothes on the unoccupied side of the bed
"You can go now, I'll call when I need you. You know the drill by now," J said, tossing him a set of jangling keys.
I wondered how long Tony had been away from his family, and tried to remember what having people waiting at home for you felt like. I heard his footsteps fade, a door open and close, and finally, the rumble of a car engine as it pulled away. In his absence, the silence that fell over us was deafening.
"What happened to them?" I finally asked in my desperation to end the quiet.
"Are you sure you'd like to know that?" J asked, his tone dancing between seriousness and playfulness.
"Nicky shot Trigger, and you shot Nicky, but what happened to Vlad?"
Even without the paint, I watched a growing darkness twist the features of the man beside me. I hurriedly turned my eyes away from his face, instead settling on the peeling yellow wall paper in the corner of the room.
"I wasn't sure what to do with him at first. I considered killing him, but he just seemed to go deeper and deeper into madness. It was fascinating to watch."
Unable to stop myself, I turned back towards him, and watched the growing fire in his eyes as he spoke; he was becoming increasingly animated with each word.
"Tony dropped him downtown. Most likely he'll be picked up and carted off to Arkham. His fate is an excellent warning against any of the other men who might be tempted back into Maroni's deep pockets."
"He's stuck in a living nightmare. Yeah, I'd heed that warning," I said dryly.
"Exactly! This is so much better than just shooting him and dumping him in the harbour: the mob are desensetised to that. It's basically a regular tuesday for them, but this? No, no, this is much more of a powerful threat..."
His piercing gaze met my own.
"Still, I suppose you disapprove..." he said with a smirk.
"Are you kidding me? He tried to kill me and nearly had me stuck in some kind of endless hell."
I laughed a little at the idea I was going to be reproachful and I had his intensely undivided attention as I continued:
"It's satisfying to know that he's stuck like that. He set those wheels in motion. Let him suffer like I did."
He made a kind of sound under his breath, like he was pleased with my outburst and I moved to drink the rest of the water, still clutching the blankets to my chest. I still felt like I was nursing the worst hangover of my entire life, like I'd suffered an electric shock. One time I had forgot to unplug the toaster when I was cleaning it with a damp cloth and it felt like someone tied a housebrick with a string connected to each of my fingers and thrown it off of a cliff. The way all of my muscles had snapped taught and suddenly cramped - it was one of the worst pains I had ever experienced. This felt like that but all over, somehow worse. I grasped a tshirt from the fresh pile, and looked pointedly at him.
When he didn't move, I was forced to use words.
"Turn around already," I grumbled.
Both his eyebrows pulled up into a knowing look as he laughed.
"I hate to break it to you doll, but you tore off your clothes whilst screaming like a banshee yesterday evening. It might be a little late for that."
My cheeks flushed red as I felt the sting of embarasment. Still I hurriedly stuffed the t-shirt over my head and pulled it on the moment he made a big scene of turning to face the wall for me.
"You can turn back," I groaned and laid my head back down against the cool pillow, feeling terrible.
The next time I woke up, J was sat on the empty side of the bed, his long legs out in front of him, crossed at the ankle and he was holding out a plate. His face paint had reappeared by now and he wordlessly gestured for me to take the food he'd brought. I sluggishly propped myself up enough to take one, and instead he forcibly shoved the plate into my hands.
"You need to eat these," he said sternly.
Wordlessly and methodically I worked my way through the crackers as he watched me intently. They had a layer of peanut butter and jelly haphazardly slapped on top of them, I assumed for the purpose of giving me some sugar intake.
"It's a good thing i'm not allergic to peanuts, huh? Did you think of that?" I jabbed an elbow into his ribs playfully, somehow forgetting the many reasons not to do that kind of thing.
He looked baffled, which made me laugh a little.
"What's so funny?" He said sounding almost hurt.
"Your face; you just looked so confused."
"People don't tend to touch me," he muttered, rattling over the t sounds..
"Yeah, well people will give you a wide berth if you go around blowing up half the city. Who'd have guessed?" I rolled my eyes.
Suddenly, he produced something from his pocket. It was a brilliant red apple, almost as vibrant as his painted smile. He rubbed it against his waistcoat as though he was polishing it. I watched him quizically as he took a bite and then tossed it into my lap. He had a maddening habit of chewing without properly closing his mouth which immediately made my skin crawl.
"What?" He asked, spotting my change in body language.
I gently put my hand over his mouth.
"Don't you have any manners?" I said as playfully as I could manage.
His eyes locked with my own and he slowly pulled my hand down.
"Define manners... I find that most of them are a waste of time. An unwritten social contract we're all just dragged into."
"Yes, but -" I tried to argue. He cut me off.
"Do you know, what happens if you get lacerations from here, to here? He asked, following the red line of paint which almost went from ear to ear.
"No," I answered, anxiety rising in my chest.
"Well, about here, is something called the parotid duct. It's basically the tube that carries your saliva, from where it is produced further back, into your mouth. If that gets cut, a surgeon will have to try reconstructing it. Even if they are successful, you'll probably have issues with it for life."
He gestured to a point on his cheek about two thirds of the way from his mouth to his ear, right at the top of his longer scar. Instantly, I realised what an asshat I had been and felt a burning shame spreading throughout my body.
"Not to mention, there's all kinds of nerves in here..." he pressed further, tracing the forked outline of some of them against my cheek with a finger.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't think -"
He waved a hand to shut me up, but I ignored him.
"No, I am. That was me being a prick. I of all people should have thought about that."
He placed a finger to my lips in a shushing motion and my words finally came to a halt.
"Don't waste your time, doll. I don't care. Not about manners and not about what you just said." He said, nodding his head affirmatively in a frantic way.
I was sure that I felt a rogue tear slip out and roll down my cheek, despite my attempts to suppress the overwhelming feeling of regret that was welling up inside me. How had I missed the obvious and said something so careless, like so many people had done to me? Before I could wipe it away, he spotted it and pulled his body closer to mine. He cupped my face in his hands with a look of childlike fascination in his features.
"What's this, a tear? For me?" He mused.
I tried to turn my head away, but he tightened his grip in resistance against me. I was then suddenly afraid of what he would do next. He swept the tear away with his thumb and released me from his grasp. Not knowing what had taken over me, I folded my arms around his waist and I laid back down.
He remained sat with his back to the headboard, and surprisingly didn't try to remove my clinging grasp on him as he stayed uncharacteristically still. I felt him rest a hand against the side of my face. Normally I would have recoiled even at the idea of anyone touching my broken skin, but there was something about his touch that felt like it was white hot and purifying. It was the opposite to the feeling of disgust and corruption that my attacker in the alley had left lingering on me.
"Sometimes, when its about to rain, espescially if theres a storm coming, it feels like the plate in my head starts to vibrate."
"So they turned you into a human barometer? That's unfortunate..."
"I mean it's a pretty shit power, it fucking hurts, but I can tell you if it's about to rain really heavily," I smiled weakly.
I felt his hand smooth the hair over the location of my titanium plate.
"You know, I applied for a specialist plastic surgeon to help me heal better," I began, seeing an opportunity for a little dark humour; "to stop me looking like I lost a fight to someone wielding a cheese grater..."
I felt him chuckle at my ridiculous image which was at odds with the emotional weight of what I was sharing.
"but my insurance provider denied me everything except the most basic stitch-up and a permanent plate."
He gave a hum which indicated he was listening intently.
"I can't help thinking maybe I wouldn't have a lifetime of headaches if they hadn't put the cheapest thing possible in there. And, of course, the scars could have been much less noticeable," I sighed, running my hand over the valleys and ridges travelling down from my temple.
"The whole system - It's a bad joke," he muttered.
I nodded with a sigh.
"But it will never change. It's so utterly depressing. I hate it."
"We live in a cruel world, it's true."
I felt his fingers clumsily tracing over my face again.
"Are you wondering how it happened?" I whispered.
"No. The past is the past. When you live in the world we do, the only way to stay sane is to live in the present."
A smile crept its way onto my face.
"If you'd asked, I would've lied to you any way. Even to you, I wouldn't give that away," I admitted, looking up at his face.
He seemed struck by this, looking down at me with a renewed kind of fascination.
"What?"
"Nothing," he answered, patting me on the head.
Unlike him, my thoughts drifted to the future. Whatever this was could not end well: It couldn't last. Reality was always chasing me down.
"Lie to me," I said suddenly.
"What?"
"Tell me we have a future, that there's hope. That whatever this is between us, it will all be okay."
"Doll, you know that's really not -" he began with a sigh and shifted within my grasp.
"It doesn't have to be convincing. I just need to hear the words."
He was silent for a while, as I waited to see if he would do what I'd asked. He sighed and grumbled under his breath as he turned closer to me.
"We can leave all of this behind us. We'll run off into the sunset and live happily ever after. No more batman, no more Gotham city, no more police. I'll take you to the mountains - or are you the sort of girl who prefers the ocean? We can do both, all that greenery, and you can swim in the water."
It didn't matter that I knew the words were empty, or that he himself sounded utterly unconvinced. I picked up the apple, which had already started to brown where the missing piece was, and ate some of it myself. It was surprisingly sweet and crisp. I let my eyes drift closed and fashioned myself a strange sort of Eden in my imagination. I found myself falling back into the dance we had been locked in when I was under Crane's toxin. I was so tired.
I had nearly died a second time, and like the first, it had changed me in ways I didn't yet know...
Link to the masterlist for other chapters:
Tag list:
If I forgot anyone or you want to be removed from the tag list - please let me know! 💕
@dis0rderly-cl0wn-nerd
@dance-like-a-clown
@furisodespirit
@heath-ledger-jokers-wife
@sunfyrejoker
@lightsabergirl
@clowning--around
@ruby-da-archangel
@harleenqvinn
@helchronicles
@ostricx
@knoepfl
@jumpingjellyfishhaha
@nicklet94
Dividers by @strangergraphics ✨️
#the joker#heath ledger#joker#batman#the dark knight#dc comics#dc joker#gotham#the batman#the dark knight 2008#heath ledger joker x reader#heath ledger joker#the dark knight fanfiction#the dark knight trilogy#the dark knight joker#nolanverse#dark knight joker#dark romance#dark knight#fanfiction#joker fanfiction#batman fanfiction#joker x fem!reader#ledger joker x reader#the joker x reader#joker x reader#heath ledger fanfiction#ledger!joker
50 notes
·
View notes
Note
Butterfly Reign chapter 40 😧
Hi!
First of all, I just wanted to say how much I love Butterfly Reign—your writing is incredible, and I’ve been absolutely hooked from the start. I think I started reading when there were only about 10 chapters out, which feels like a lifetime ago!
I just finished chapter 40, and I’ve been thinking a lot about the direction the story took, particularly regarding Theseus and Wilbur. Their relationship has been such a complex and emotional journey, and I’ve really enjoyed seeing them work through their issues. Honestly, it’s crazy to think back to when I first started reading, and how I would’ve been rooting for Theseus to get his revenge, but now, with everything that’s happened, I didn’t expect the story to take such a tragic turn.
While I’m still deeply invested in the story, I’m curious about a few things—particularly the choice to have Wilbur die. I’ve been wondering, how long have you had this planned? I noticed the MCD tag from the beginning, so I’m wondering if this was always the direction you intended to take their characters or if it evolved as the story developed?
I’d also love to know your thoughts on Theseus’s actions here (without giving away any spoilers ofc). In the context of the story (obviously not condoning murder in real life 😭), do you think Theseus did what he had to do? Do you see him as someone who is still redeemable, or do you think that this was a mistake in his journey? I ask because, even though I’ve been the number one Theseus defender (his rights and wrongs) throughout the story, I found myself struggling with this moment. It’s the first time I’ve felt so conflicted about his character. I’m really curious about your perspective as the author, especially when it comes to the moral complexities in his decision.
Thank you so much for sharing this story— and I can’t wait to see what comes next! (even though i'm not yet willing to except that it shall continue BR!crimboys-less) at least give me hope for Br!discduo if nothing else
Hi, thank you for the ask, it made my morning!
To answer your questions, it's a little complex when exactly the decision came about. In my original outline back in 2022, this whole scene did not actually involve any fire. Instead, it was Theseus and Fundy stranded on the lake as ice begins to crack. Wilbur gets Fundy to safety first, and then when he comes back for Theseus, they fall through. From there on, there were two versions of this scene that I fluctuated between: one, Wilbur cuts the rope connecting them and lets himself drown, and two, the same happens but both of them get saved by a third outside force. This is followed up by Wilbur falling into a coma and being absent for the rest of the fic, sans the epilogue where we see him awake. Simply put, it was never my plan for Wilbur to be present in the final arc; he simply has no place there. His story was always meant to end in this chapter.
However, as time went on, I realized that using a coma is a very cheap (for the lack of a better word) way to write off a character, and his death by sacrifice did not feel right. As I mentioned in another post, br!Wilbur was, off and on, for nearly a decade, br!Tommy's abuser. To have someone who caused so much pain for him die saving him didn't sit right with me. Tommy was working for so long on accepting his past and unlearning the behaviors Wilbur brought up in him that it felt like an injustice and a poor message besides to basically say 'oh well he loved you at the end of the day'. And exploring his death from the point of view Tommy being relieved by it and feeling guilty at the same time is too repetetive of the story itself from when Wilbur ran away the first time. That's when the decision for Tommy to kill Wilbur was born.
So short answer: Wilbur's story was always meant to end at this moment. The idea for murder hatched during the travel arc.
I could not tell you exactly when did I realize that the plot was heading towards Tommy killing Wilbur, but I very firmly stand by the point that it's something that has been brewing up in the background unbeknownst even to me. The thing, Tommy has always been a killer. You have always known him as one (Clara was killed by him 3 years into the past), even though you didn't know his full backstory. An important part of this arc in its entirety is that it's Tommy unpacking and healing from the trauma he experienced 6 to 3 years ago. When Tommy gets sick and Wilbur takes care of him – that's 11 year old Tommy getting closure from Wilbur leaving him behind, and trading their family for the life of a commoner and a family of his own. It's not about them learning to be different in the future; it's about them mending the past. At no point at all this was meant to be about redeeming Wilbur.
Off to the next question: was this necessary? Did Tommy do what he had to?
Not at all. I address that in the chapter itself. I believe it's three different times that an image of Clara tells that Tommy must do it, meaning kill Wilbur, but the only time Tommy voices that thought himself (after the dialogue with Warden), the must changes to can. It's him taking agency over his own choices and acknowledging that he has this option and it's his decision to proceed with it. He tells Wilbur not to make excuses for him for Clara's death, knowing he's about to commit the same crime again.
As to how to feel about his actions – that's entirely up to you. You're not meant to feel a certain way about any of the characters, and especially not Tommy, but I am curious to hear your guys' thoughts and analysis. What do you think?
46 notes
·
View notes
Text
𝐒𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮♡︎ (PROLOGUE)
Simon “Ghost” Riley x Reader
18+! ANGST
Syn: Reader grew up as a hopeless romantic, always seeing the brighter side of things and always getting her heart broken. She finds herself falling in love with a man who happens to already be taken and ends up in a fucked up situation.
CW: Self-harm, manipulation, arguing, ANGST ANGST ANGST, profanity, cheating, mommy-issues, drug-use, SA(NOT BY GHOST!)
A/N: hey guys! This is my very first fan fiction and also very first official post on here so I want to apologize for any repetetiveness, grammar, or wordiness in the story, I’ll improve the more I right and I hope I’m being descriptive enough for you guys lol. (Criticism is appreciated!😛)
—————————
You were always such a hopeful girl with big dreams. Head in the clouds, not worried about a thing. You remember always laying down in bed with your mother who would always read you to sleep at night. Going to the library on the weekends and picking out books (always from the romance section). Mom would just smile and chuckle to herself. You never knew that these memories could ever be buried and spat on. Is it your fault for being so naive?
“Mommy?” You called out, peeking around your corner. There sat your mom on the table with a wine glass in her hand. She smiles at you, holding her arm out, calling you towards her.
“What is it sweety?” she says through rosy cheeks.
“When is daddy gonna come back?”
Splash Splash
The sounds of the waves would do. The days couldn’t get any shorter. Work couldn’t get any more tiring. You couldn’t be more alone.
Running sand through the 3 week old nails of your right hand, can of beer in your left. You thought you couldn’t get any more pathetic but here you were sat on the beach not far from the city.
Should I even be here right now?
You should’ve been home some time ago but he called, would he even show up? Sometimes you think mom might have been right…she didn’t need to yell though.
Just as you were about to get up, spinning on your heel, there he was. The reveal was kind of surprising, you think as you cough from all the smoke blown into your face. You can see the smile in his eyes. What the hell?
“S’rry abou’ that. Need a ride?”
You can only chuckle from the fact that he is literally 50 minutes late. You wanted to be mad but you were honestly more embarrassed for letting yourself even wait that long. But nonetheless, you nod your head and the two of you head over to your place and he just might’ve made up for making you wait that night. You counted. He stayed over til the morning this time, he even stayed for coffee! That’s definitely a first. Maybe He truly does care.
Or maybe it’s just wishful thinking.
“You’re so beautiful” He would say, running his rough fingers over your head, caressing you softly. It was like a scene out of a book. Just like the one you read last month about the– well who cares. Simon was leaving soon.
As he was walking out the door, he caressed your cheek, before placing a delicate kiss if you were a set of china.
“I love you so much, my pretty pretty girl. I promise if you just wait for me-” You can’t help but tune him out after. Those are the only words you wanted to hear. You don’t wanna hear about how he has to get back home to his girl or that work was waiting for him.
Your strong little heart could only bear the small things he does for you, anything after that would be too much, knowing what you and also knowing that you couldn’t have him.
The door shuts and reality hits harder than a boulder when you sink back into your messy room. Someday.
(CRITICISM APPRECIATED!!!)
THANK YOU 4 READING
#cod modern warfare#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#ghost cod#cod fanfic#cod x reader#cod fandom#simon riley x you#simon ghost x reader#simon ghost x you#cod angst
43 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hey chat, uh, new tumblr user plz let me live /j
Anyways uh.. UNDERTALE AUS !!! I decided to try and see if i can answer or idk some questions about my 2 aus Trustlosstale and Interesttale !! As i have been getting a few on other platforms.. but they have been repetetive so why not come onto here to answer them for multiple people (hopefully permanently) at once? Yeah idk.
I currently only have the main designs for Trustlosstale drawn, but will draw Interesttale out soon !
Though if you were to have a question about any character in the au, you can ask anything to Interesttale Sans(Aether), Papyrus(Cyprus), Frisk, Chara, Flowey(or Asriel), Toriel, Undyne and Alphys ! (Some characters are still in uh, developement) so yeah ! I hope this post reaches some people bc idk.
Let’s keep things appropriate though.. shall we?
Welcome🎅
22 notes
·
View notes
Text

“Solas?“
“Yes, Vhenan."
“What are you drawing?“
He still has his eyes on the piece of parchment in front of him, but slows down the repetetive movements of his hand tracing the shapes on paper, as if that might offer him more time to find his answer. "Oh, just some practice. It helps me sort my thoughts," he says with the casual air of somebody trying to evade a question.
“Can I see, then?“
He glances up briefly and notices she has stopped reading her book on the early history of Neromanian magic. She has one elbow propped up on the table and rests her chin on her hand. She is looking at him expectantly, her book clearly forgotten.
He pauses the scratchy movements of his pencil and says rather hesitantly.
"It's not finished."
She leans forward a bit more, trying to catch a glimpse at his paper. He subtly angles it away from her. She might have barely noticed, had she not noted his newfound secrecy regarding his recent drawings. She has become increasingly curious over the past few weeks, and his forced casual demeanor after her question only fills her with more anticipation.
It makes her think of the first time he showed her his artwork. …
The first time she had walked into the rotunda in Skyhold and found Solas high up on the scaffolding with a paint brush in his hands and a concentrated look on his face, she was surprised to learn of his motivation.
"History needs to be documented," he had said when she asked him what he was working on.
After climbing down the scaffolding and taking a step back to admire the process of his work, he continued, "Not by the words of diplomats, but through the eyes of those skilled in artistry. Words will be forgotten, but images? Those will hold significance across time."
She had been moved then. By the bold lines in the fresco and the fierce look in his eyes as he regarded her as he spoke. Like she was someone worthy of admiration. Like he truly saw her. It reminded her of his words before their first kiss.
'You change everything.' He had said.
She didn't really believe him then. She didn't want to be put on a pedestal, far removed from the world and the simple and nomadic lifestyle of her clan that she was accustomed to. She missed roaming mountains and hills, not fighting blighted Templars and navigating treacherous games of power with nobles. That life had seemed like such a long time ago, even though it had barely been a year.
But perhaps she didn't need to suffer though all of this alone. She had her friends. Dorian with his jokes. Varric with his stories. Cassandra with her quiet support and camaderie. Iron Bull helping her with her fighting stances and teaching her new drinking games with Cullen. Even Cole, though he was still figuring out what the word friend even meant. She would help him with that, she had decided then. Friends; they made the aching pull of homesickness more bearable.
But Solas.
Who was he to her? She could call him her friend the supposed. She had the feeling they were becoming closer and yet there was an undeniable distance. Always leaving space for interpretation and mystery while never backing away from any of her questions. So much knowledge he shared, and still she had the feeling she barely knew him at all. He had slowly and unknowingly developed a talent for surprising her with new insights and he did so later again that same evening.
The next hour passed quickly while they were still talking about art and the different depictions of elven lore. He had stared at her intently for a moment, considering her.
"I want to show you something." he had said.
She never passed up an opportunity to learn more so she had indulged him, following him to a plain-looking crate to the side of the room. He removed the protective wards with a wave of his hand. He then uncovered some, by the looks of it, handbound books. He observed them one by one carefully, with a nod of acceptance when he seemingly found what he was looking for and handed her one of the books.
As she opened the first few pages she discovered they were sketchbooks filled with rough outlines in preparation for the next installment of the mural.
Excitedly he pointed to notes in the margin and spoke of where he learned the techniques for collecting and grinding his own pigments. There was a red ocre in the Western Approach that he had recently discovered on one of their missions which was apparently incredibly well suited for his purpose. At her encouragement he had shown her more of of his other drawings too. First of symbolism and color studies, but then more personal ones: of the views of the mountains from Skyhold, running Halla, drying herbs and even of some of the members of the inquisition she recognized.
In turn she told him about how she used to carve wood, especially when winters were rough and her clan was stuck in the same place for long waiting out the biting cold and punishing snow. To keep her fingers from freezing and her mind from wandering to dark places, she had started to carve.
"I haven't had the time since, well you know, this whole mess." she waved the fingers of her marked hand which flashed a sliver of green. Solas had looked thoughtful after her comment, almost like there was a tinge of regret behind his eyes.
The conversation steered in a different direction afterwards, like the seriousness of their predicament weighted more heavily on their shoulders than before. The mysterious books disappeared back into the chest and not long after she had excused herself and called it a night. Somehow she couldn't shake the feeling she had overstepped.
A few days later she returned from a short scouting mission. She climbed the steps to her sleeping quarters, exhausted. She hardly noticed there was an odd-shaped package leaning against her bedroom door until she almost stumbled over it. Her tiredness trading itself for curiosity, she moved to pick it up.
There was no note attached but once she unwrapped the bundle she discovered a beautiful and distinctive elven carving knife and a solid piece of oak wood.
She couldn't help the warm feeling that spread though her body, feeling the comforting weight of the wood and the cool metal of the knife in her hands.
….
She shakes her head as she's brought back to the present. That same rotunda they have since spend so much of their time together. Researching, reading and talking. There had been barely an evening where she didn't end up in the rotunda with Solas. At least when she wasn't away from Skyhold, trying to save the world on missions throughout Thedas.
She looks at Solas from her spot at the table with a mischievous glint in her eyes.
It takes a lot of effort to hide her smile.
Whith an amused tilt to the corner of her lips she says, "You know, Dorian told me he found some sketchbooks laying around, depicting a rather familiar elf. Anything you would know about that?"
Is he… Is he blushing?
"Um, Well you see." he cleares his throat trying to school his expression. "Those were private… And hidden for a reason."
She can't contain a smile. Solas flustered, that's a rare sight.
"You've seen them?" he askes quietly. She notices he has started fumbling with the edges of the paper. She didn't believe his ears could turn a brighter shade of pink.
"Maybe," she says while averting her eyes to the ceiling. She glances back to him out of the corner of her eyes.
Solas looks at her like she has grown an extra pair of ears.
She leans back in her chair and stretches out her legs comfortably under the table. Knowing she has him she doesn't want to push more and decides to spare him some of her teasing. She turns to look at him and softens her expression.
"I rather liked them."
Knowing that is probably not enough to explain why she had looked at his private belongings without permission and seeing the dumbfounded expression on his face slowly making space for embarrassment she decides to tell the whole story.
"I know shouldn't have overstepped, but Dorian said he had something urgent to discuss and before I was even halfway up the stairs he assaulted me with flying books, shouting about discovering my secret admirer. Either I would have stumbled to death or caught them. And, well… Once I started looking I couldn't look away… " she trails off with a slight tinge of shame in her voice.
"You liked them?“
She lookes at him, surprised by the hopefulness in his voice.
A wave of understanding washes over her.
He hid the drawings from her, not because he didn't want her to see them but because he was afraid of her rejection. Even though they had spent the last few months becoming more and more tangled up with each other, stealing fleeting glances and sometimes passionate kisses, they still hadn't really taken a moment to talk about what there was between them.
When she saw the drawings he made of her she had finally understood his interest in her was genuine and went beyond anything resembling a casual dalliance - something she can now confess to have been rather afraid of, because she had developed deeper feelings for him from the moment he started sharing detailed stories dreamt in the fade and his perspective on magic intertwined with life. And then there had been that first kiss… Wel let's just say she's in way too deep to turn back now.
And for all the effort he put into keeping emotional distance between them, he had apparently failed from the moment he had started putting her likeless on paper. For she could see the passion and emotion in the lines, soft shadows and hidden meanings. It made them stand out from all the other drawings she had seen by his hand.
What he couldn't yet put into words, he had found a different way of showing.
"Yes I-" suddenly feeling unsure she pauses for a moment and crosses her arms looking for the right words. "The drawings, they reminded me of who I could be." She takes a deep breath finds her courage and continues. "Someone who people will tell stories about. Not stories about Divine intervention, but of an elven woman's fight for justice. For a kinder world. Somehow I never really managed to see myself that way when I look in the mirror. But those drawings… I guess it's easier to understand who I've become by seeing myself through your eyes. To see the change I'm part of, but most of all to remind myself of where I came from."
She had uncrossed her arms and angled her body towards him over the table. A determined expression rests on her face. He hadn't taken his eyes of her from the moment she started talking.
He looks at her thoughtfully for a moment, considering his reply.
"Very well" he says while some of the tension visibly drains away from his body. She raises her eyebrows in question. "Then it's only time you started showing me your carvings in return. Some good blocks of wood have gone missing. I overheard Blackwall complaining about recently." He shares the accusations with a bemused smile on his lips.
Now it was her turn to blush.
"I was planning on showing you, but first I wanted to practice… " she trailed off her sentence, knowing she doesn't actually have a valid excuse for hiding it from him. And it was not like she hadn't backed him into a corner first.
Feeling relieved he wasn't pulling away at her recent discovery she changes her mind with newfound courage and stands up abruptly while extending her hand in invitation. The purpose of their late night reading session forgotten.
"You're right. And I'm willing to offer you a tour of my recent carving exploits, but only if you can refrain from commenting over the woodchips carpeting the floor." He starts to move as if to get up but she makes him pause as she isn't done yet. "But in turn I will pose for your next drawing." Solas looks at her confused for a moment, as if considering her question.
She pauzes for a moment and adds without hesitation.
"Naked."
"What?"
"That's right."
From a balcony upstairs they could hear some muffled movement followed by a familiar voice echoing down "You know Solas, if you're looking for nude models you only need to ask!"
"Dorian!" they say in unison, horrified.
Solas quickly tucks the sketches under his arm and stands up to grasp her hand, surprising her by pulling her close so fast she has to steady herself with her other hand landing on his chest.
Only a breath away from her ear he says softly so only she can hear.
"It seems like you found yourself a deal, ma Vhenan."
She squeezes his hand in response and when she looks at him there isn't a hint of his previous embarrassment. Instead there is a look of hunger and challenge in his eyes. It's so easy then, to lean over and kiss him, her lips a promise and Dorian's earlier interuption temporarily forgotten. Before she can get lost in the soft press of his lips she pulls back and feels a delighted thrill in the way he slightly chases them as she takes a step back. With a teasing smile on her lips she tugs on his hand bringing him back to reality and encouraging him to follow. As they make their way quietly towards the door she throws a judgemental look over her shoulder towards where she imagines Dorian to be hiding.
She is just able to make out a muffled conversation on the first floor "… These lovesick fools seem to keep forgetting this is a public space, if they don't want an audience they should find a room!"
Not sure if she should be terribly embarrassed or slightly thankful for Dorians intervention she doesn't manage to hide her smile.
"Let's get out of here then." she says as they start to make their way through Skyhold.
He squeezes her hand.
"Gladly."
#solavellan#solavellan hell#solas x female lavellan#solavellen hell#solavellen fanfiction#dragon age inquisition#No one can convince me otherwise that this scene hasnt happened#bioware robbed us from this being a real cutscene in the game#I mean dont you just love the idea of Solas sharing his passion for art and history with lavellan?#and all this time at skyhold#for sure she has run into him a few times covered in paint#and i just love the headcannon that solas ans lavellan forget they have an audiance of Leliana#Dorian and Fiona sharing popcorn and betting on who will make the first move#and you just know the frustration Dorian has felt#seeing the fools in love while they barely make a move at each other aside from fleeting glances#he had to get involved somehow#imagine dorian spending weeks on tearing down the magical wards on that chest#just to findout it filled with portraits of lavellan#LOL#dragon age inquisition fanfic#the dread egg#solas#solasmance#inquisitor lavellan#writing and artwork by me#acrylic ink and finelines on bamboo paper
142 notes
·
View notes
Note
Iba, take care of yourself and stay well. This must be a very difficult time and this may probably get lost in your inbox, but take care of yourself. I know you know how the internet works and that it sucks. Unfortunately, there are a lot of annoying and shady people out there who are always trying to ruin the little happiness people have. However, there is always a way around it, whether it's by ignoring them or taking other measures. I'm sorry for all of this and for the way it has hurt you, so please take care of yourself :) It will pass, be well Iba!
Thank you so much for your kind words, i really appreciate it and it does make me feel much better ❤️ if your other kind messages dont get replied to ive probably seen them but dont want to be repetetive about asks on my profile, but be sure im really grateful for them and they do make me feel much better when i read them ❤️ though i always reply to dms! So just let me know there if you want or think your message got lost in my inbox
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
hi
Kind of strange how im one of those people in the pokemon fandom that focuses more on the characters themselves and not the pokemon. Or maybe im the only one who thinks so.
Honestly i find more interest in characters because they have this missing piece, their personality, their story, their development throughout the games, its something i've always wondered about. No hate towards protagonists being silent all the time, but it feels so empty to have a character with nothing in them, their only purpose is to exist and do everything like in the other gens, it feels boring, downright awful and repetetive. Im not saying that pokemon is boring, even i had fun playing the games like black and white or legends arceus or heart gold and soulsilver, they had so much effort put into them, maybe im wrong but thats my opinion. I really wish the pokemon protagonists had more in them and not just "im gonna become the strongest trainer in the world!" - every single gen there is, its repetetive, theres nothing new. The only difference in the games are the villains, the antagonists, the side characters, and the region we are in (i prefer to call them islands but eh), the designs of the protagonists inspired me more than the pokemon, even though they are the center of attention, and the humans just exist, its sad, very sad.
I wouldnt count pokemon masters ex, as ever single character is just "i like pokemon battles :D", the champions are also bland, there are exceptions though, but it PISSED ME OFF that the characters are wasted, they could have done a better job at developing and building their characters, even if there are too many of them. I'll also mention the pokemon (legendaries and mythical mostly), capturing them feels like capturing a regular pokemon but it's 10 times stronger, tf does that do? "oooh look at that!! thats a Rayquaza (or Arceus for example, literally the god of all??)! i must capture it and it will be mine!", this is outright bland and boring, how about instead you try to gain their trust and tame them, knowing they are gods and they have their own mind and soul. THEY ARE GODS?? NOT SLAVES?? FOR YOUR OWN USE?? DID WE EVEN LEARN ABOUT THEM?? NO.
My whole point is, pokemon should have improved on their characters (GIVE THEM PERSONALITY I DARE YOU AND I PAY YOU WITH MY LIMBS AND ORGANS) and mechanics of the creatures themselves, the same old formula of "get a starter, battle gyms, defeat an evil team that wants to take over the world or wants to do something bad that they think is good, capture the legendary, beat the elite four, take on the champion" all the damn time that it feels like an endless loop. Im both a hater and lover of pokemon because its my hyperfixation and obsession till the day i die but come on, do better.
My disappointment is immeasurable
#pokemon#rant post#gamefreak when i catch you gamefreak gamefreak when i catch you gamefreak#im gonna keep hating dw i still got more to do *insert thumbs up*#imagine creating characters (protagonists i dare say) AND NOT GIVING THEM A SOUL. thats a crime brother#OH AND THE VILLAINS? ANTAGONISTS? same old thing. dont get me started.#some of the characters are SO BADLY written i could name them alphabetically
7 notes
·
View notes
Note
I accidentally sent this ask to the person you rb'd the askgame help-
Anyways for the askgame you reblogged!! 6, 9, 16, and 34!!
HENJSJGKSG, my condolences LMAO
6: whats the best and worst part of being online/a creator?
the best part of being online is my FRIENDS!!! and being able to do stupid stuff with them whenever. its something you dont really get with irl friends. as for the worst part .. probably having too much freedom and hiding everything from my parents 💀💀 i have no containement on here for better or worse
9: tell a story about your childhood
ummmm .. my childhood wasnt really all that eventful LOL i didnt do much. one time though my hamster got out of his cage and we couldnt find him for days. when we finally did, it was because my mom was cleaning behind the fridge and found him behind there. i dont even know what he was living off of. if pets dont count, i fell off a horse on my last horseriding lesson and got kicked in the head? my butt hurt more though tbh
16: if you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
BEING A CIS GUY. i always knew i wanted to be a boy ever since i was a little girl
34: any pet peeves?
the sounds of vacuums or repetetive tapping. i THINK those count as pet peeves. i also hate it when people keep asking "why" because half the time i aint got no reason for doing anything bruhh 💀
THANK YOU FOR THE ASK !!!!!!!! have a good day!!!! :D:D
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
Comprehensive list of all of the exo/monster fucker books I've read :)
Don't know if this technically counts, but Warm Bodies by Isaac Marion is one of my favourites ever 5/5
Cottonwood by R. Lee Smith. Kind of a weird one, but I did enjoy that the aliens were a little less humanoid and actually monstery!
Land of the Beautiful Dead by R. Lee Smith. It's a long boy, but it's so good!
A Soul to Keep by Opal Reyne. I loved the first two but there's at least 5 in the series now, and they started to get a bit repetetive.
Our Sacred Bonds by Kennedy Cannon. It was okay, nothing special but well written for what it was.
The Dame and the Devil by Dalia Davies wasn't for me at all, sorry :(
Stealing the Trolls Heart by Lyonne Riley was one of my fave reads this year! I kind of lost steam towards the end of the series though, because characters started to feel repetetive.
Prince of Beasts by Lyonne Riley. I pretty much love anything from her!
Audited by the Anubis by Wendi Gogh didn't do it for me sadly :((
My Throat an Open Grave by Tori Bovalino is more YA, but it scratched that itch for a good romance with plot.
Belladonna by Adalyn Grace is another fantastic mix of plot and romance <3
38 notes
·
View notes
Note
AITA for joining a chat for autistic people while having no diagnosis?
I (20M) have recently moved to another country. For the first time in my life I felt truly lonely, and I was really glad to finally find a friend here. Now, my new friend, "Jay" (22NB), is an admin of a local chat for autistic people (Jay themself is formally diagnosed), and after a couple of months of they invited me to join, as they were convinced I was autistic too. I agreed, but now I feel bad about it.
Here's the catch: I don't actually know whether I'm autistic or not. In my birth country, neurodiversity awareness is very low, and my parents never had me properly checked, even though I've displayed multiple symptoms throughout my life (showing no interest in other kids, making repetetive movements when stressed, misunderstanding sarcasm and other "subtextual" things, having obsessive interests to the point of memorising entire episodes of a show, etc). I'm planning on going to a doctor about it eventually, but I'm really scared of "not passing" the assessment and being labeled as just a kid pretending to be neurodivergent for attention.
Jay knows I'm not diagnosed, so it's not like I'm lying to them. I still feel like a liar, though. I like the chat but every time I interact with people there, I feel like they're about to "unmask" me. AITA? Should I just leave the chat?
What are these acronyms?
83 notes
·
View notes