#though the way luke treats her still feels sort of cruel

[technicolorxsn]

oh okay

[cherryobx]

I'm all yours//Rafe Cameron x reader

request: "Hii!! I love your writing! What if Rafe and Y/N have a fling, but he doesn’t make a move or show his motives, so she starts distancing herself from him. Later he finds out that she’s been going out with another guy (totally up to you to decide whether it’s obx character or fictional) and decides to have a conversation with her about what they are (he’s a liiitle too jealous and it makes her mad, but they work it out after a small fight). That’s it!! Hope you like it, have a great day🥰"

summary: Rafe realizes something when he hears that you're seeing someone

warnings: language, mentions of sex (but no smut!), FWB, angst

WC: 1.7k

(not my gif, creds to the owner!)

He was never there when you woke up. It was like a tradition at this point. He always left without you noticing. Of course, some mornings you wished that he’d stay a little longer and just hold you and whisper sweet nothings into your ear. But that was Rafe Cameron we’re talking about. It was nothing more than a friends with benefits situation. Although you wished it was something more. You’d never tell it to Rafe though. He’d just make fun of you for wanting something that was so out of your reach, something almost impossible.

After stretching a bit on your bed, you sat up and tried to rub the tiredness away from your eyes. Your eyes drifted to the alarm clock beside your bed. 7:32. Why had you woken up so early? You blamed it on the coldness of your bed and the sheets. After all it was just you in it.

You stood up, put on an oversized t-shirt and started picking up your clothes that had been scattered all over your bedroom the night before. You tossed them onto the bathroom floor and made a mental note to put them in the washing machine later.

Feeling your stomach grumble with hunger you walked into the kitchen and put two slices of bread into the toaster. You opened the fridge and took out the butter. Lately you had been obsessed with toast with butter. It was heavenly on mornings like these.

As soon as the toast was done, you spread some butter on them. You didn’t care enough to put them on a plate. Or you were just lazy. One of those reasons. As you were eating your toast, you scrolled on your phone, seeing all the pictures and videos from last night’s party. You had decided not to go and just stay home and watch a movie all by yourself. You actually treasured those moments. Rafe came over in the middle of the night and of course he was pretty hammered. You still slept with him though. How could you deny yourself such pleasure?

When you were finished eating, you sat on the living room couch, pulling your knees up to your chest. You felt pathetic, sad even. You were sorry for yourself. You had let Rafe crawl into your life, into your head, and now you couldn’t get him out. He was always on your mind.

“This has to stop,” you mumbled to yourself, as you took out your phone and texted the guy you had turned down a few days ago. He had asked you out but you declined because it felt wrong to go out with a guy that wasn’t Rafe. But now you realized that the smartest thing right now would be trying to forget about Rafe. He didn’t see you as nothing more than a friend, a hook-up.

He replied almost immediately which was a bit weird because it was 8 in the morning but you didn’t give it much thought. You agreed to go on a date with him in the evening.

As you were getting ready to go on the date, you got a text from Rafe, asking if he could come over tonight. You didn’t reply. It’s for the better, you thought.

The guy, Luke, picked you up at 7 p.m sharp and took you to out to eat. It was pretty romantic you were not going to lie.

“You’ve been living in Kildare your entire life? How have I not seen you before?” you asked before taking a bite of your food.

“It may be because I don’t really go to parties.” You raised your eyebrows in surprise.

“You don’t? Then what do you do here? There’s really nothing to do here except parties and golf, if you ask me.”

“Well, mostly I just hang out with my friends, play golf, go fishing. You know, the usual stuff.”

“I’d get bored with that fast,” you laughed.

“Then what do you do here?” he asked.

“Umm, I go to parties, obviously, I’m not lame,” you said, sarcastically rolling your eyes. “But sometimes I surf.”

“You do? Isn’t that like a pogue thing?”

“So, sport is now a pogue thing? Yeah, I don’t label things like that. The whole pogue vs kook things is just pointless in my opinion.”

“If you say so.” He took a sip of his drink.

After dinner, you walked down to the beach and just took a stroll there. It was a beautiful sunset and you even took some pictures with him to remember that night.

“I had a really good time tonight. Thanks for not turning me down like I did you.” He had just brought you home and walked up to your front door.

“No problem. Who am I to say no to such a pretty girl.” The compliment made you blush.

“Also, thank you for paying tonight. I promise I’ll pay next time.”

“There’s going to be a next time?”

“Yes. I mean if you want to.”

“I do.”

“Then it’s settled.” You pressed a kiss to his cheek before entering your home and closing the door behind you. You were actually happy with how this whole thing turned out. You hadn’t thought about Rafe even once this whole evening.

When you stopped answering to Rafe’s texts and calls, he became confused. What was going on? Had he done something to upset you?

After a few weeks in the dark, he heard at one party that you were seeing someone. He felt this kind of tightness in his chest. It was a mix of emotions. Almost like anger but not really. He couldn’t put a finger on it why he felt like this. It was not like you were his girlfriend or anything. Although he liked the sound of that. Y/N, his girlfriend.

He left the party and came over to your place. He banged his fist on the door repeatedly. Je might’ve even woken up your neighbours with all the noise he was making.

“Rafe, what the fuck are you doing here in the middle of the night?” you asked, as you opened the door. You were wearing an old t-shirt and shorts. You looked adorable to him.

“Can we talk?”

“At 2 in the morning? No fucking way.” You started to close the door but he shoved his foot between the door and its frame.

“Y/N, please. I need to speak with you.”

“Then come back at a reasonable hour,” you huffed and rolled your eyes.

“This is a reasonable hour. Just let me in.”

You let out a sight but then opened the door for him. You walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water because your throat was feeling a bit dry. He followed you close behind.

“If you’re here for sex then you might as well just leave right now. I’m not in the mood.”

“Is it so hard to believe that I’m here just to talk to you?”

“You want an honest answer to that?” you asked, raising your eyebrow at him.

“Not really.”

You took a sip from your glass and then placed it on the kitchen counter. “If you’re really here to talk then talk. I want to go back to sleep.”

“I don’t want you going out with that Luke you’ve been seeing.”

“How the fuck is that your business? I can go out with whoever I want. You can’t tell me what to do.”

“Yes, I can. I know what’s best for you.”

You bitterly laughed. “Oh, you do now? Rafe, you don’t know shit.”

“He’s not a good guy for you.”

“And you know that how? He treats me better than you ever have. And that’s a fact. Keep your nose out of my business and go find some other girl to fuck. This,” you waved your finger between you two, “is over. I don’t want to see you anymore. Like ever again. So you might as well delete my number.”

“I’m not going to do that.”

“Why can’t you just leave me the fuck alone?” The frustration within you was too much to handle as tears started to fall from your eyes and roll down your cheeks.

“Because I love you, for fucks sake,” he admitted, yelling.

You were staring at him in shock. You were speechless and didn’t know what to say. Was this like some sort of cruel prank he was playing on you? Or was he serious? Could it be? It was hard to believe. Why would he admit it now, after all this time?

“I didn’t realize it at first. I was so caught up in myself and my problems. But when I heard you were seeing someone, I freaked out. I didn’t like the feeling it gave me. I didn’t like the thought of you with someone else other than me. It didn’t seem right.”

He slowly walked closer to your, now sobbing, frame. He placed one of his hands on your shoulder and the other under you chin. He lifted it so you’d look him in the eye.

“If there’s a slight chance that you’re feeling like I do, please tell me. If not, I’ll leave right now and you’ll never have to even see me again.”

“I do,” you whispered, not being able to actually talk. Your emotions were overwhelming you as you broke down. He wrapped his arms around you and rubbed his hand up and down on your back in a soothing manner.

“It’s okay. Don’t cry. I’m here with you.”

You stood there for what felt like eternity, crying between his arms. When you had calmed down you pulled away a bit so you could look at him.

“You’re such an asshole. You know that, right?”

He nodded. He knew.

“But. I love you too. Always have been. I tried so hard to forget you. That’s why I started going out with Luke. So I could forget you for a couple of hours. And it worked. But as soon as I got home it was like he never existed. I thought about you. Only you.”

“Well, now I’m all yours.”

“That’s good to hear because I’m yours as well.”

***

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[unexpectedreylo]

How Ben Solo Became A Martyr

If anyone were to pull me into a Hollywood studio office or lunch at some see-and-be-seen L.A.-area restaurant (personally, I like The Ivy) and ask me, a lifelong t.v. and movie viewer, what should show runners, directors, writers, and anyone who has a creative say in a production avoid doing, one thing I would say is, “Don’t unintentionally make a character a martyr.”

I don’t mean the sense of being a martyr in-universe but being a martyr to the audience.  

First I should define what I mean by “martyr.”  In a Christian sense, it’s a particular kind of saint who suffers and dies a horrible death for his or her faith.  In a secular sense it can describe anyone who suffers and/or dies horribly for a cause or that suffering/death calls attention to a matter of injustice.  This can also be applied in a more colloquial sense, such as when anyone suffers in some way or tries to use the impression of suffering to elicit sympathy.

If anyone at Lucasfilm is wondering why there’s a tribe of people on social media doing Ben Solo hashtags, making pins, and putting blue butterfly emojis on their handles, I’m here to tell Lucasfilm it’s because you guys made Ben Solo into a martyr to the audience.  

First, they made Kylo Ren/Ben Solo Han and Leia’s son/Anakin and Padmé’s grandson.  This makes him an easy investment for fans who have loved those characters for decades.  The killing Han Solo part might have made a certain segment of longtime fans so angry at Kylo they not only couldn’t forgive him but  they didn’t even want him redeemed but others could see how the death clearly affected him which elicits sympathy and compassion.

Second, they got an extremely talented, charismatic actor to play Kylo/Ben.  Adam Driver refused to play Kylo as a one-dimensional mustache-twirling killing-machine villain.  He added subtlety, nuance, and humanity to the role, all the while captivating the audience.  That he’s also sexy didn’t hurt.  As bad as Kylo could be, we also see the soft underbelly, the hints of the real Ben Solo hiding behind the persona.  He managed to create the kind of hero we’d been hoping to see in the ST within a short amount of time and practically no dialogue.  That’s extraordinary.  Driver took Kylo as seriously as he takes any other role.  He could’ve been making a bunch of other Oscar-nominated movies instead and we all know it.  Getting him was a gift and some fans out there think it was ultimately kind of wasted.

Third, if TFA hinted at Kylo’s humanity, Rian Johnson made it entirely the point of Kylo’s arc in TLJ.  When Kylo destroyed his helmet, Johnson was able to let Driver go nuts with a script that treated its characters like human beings instead of caricatures.  While Kylo was still capable of evil and all-around bad guy-ness, we also saw someone who could be gentle and caring, a tortured young man struggling with deep remorse, a lonely soul who can only find connection with someone who’s supposed to be his enemy, and sometimes, a hero.  Those pleading puppy dog eyes and trembling lips did a lot to elicit sympathy from filmgoers.  That he’s also sexy didn’t hurt.

Fourth, both the films and ancillary material showed Ben was subjected to abuse and suffered greatly for the mistakes of his elders.  Ben was targeted at conception and suffered with voices in his head most of his life.  A kitchen droid tried to take him out.  His parents were too busy doing whatever to really give him the attention he needed, even though Leia was aware some outside force was after her son.  His parents ultimately feared him and his emotional freak outs.  Han and Leia shipped him off to Luke’s poor man’s version of Hogwarts, leading to some deep abandonment issues.  Luke almost killed him in his sleep.  The very popular The Rise of Kylo Ren comics series basically acquitted Ben of everything he supposedly did leading up to his fall.  Then Kylo is verbally and physically abused by Snoke.  This has created a tremendous amount of sympathy for Ben, especially by those who have struggled with any number of real-world problems.  They identified with him.  Hollywood as of late has coded a lot of villainous or antihero characters as having mental illness or being neurodiverse or having addiction problems as well as enduring physical and verbal abuse.  I get that writers want to enrich these characters and make them relevant to a modern audience and that actors like the challenge in playing them but I also think Hollywood is being a little irresponsible about it.  Not only is it potentially stigmatizing it also seldom has a solution to those characters’ arcs other than death.  How is someone living with bipolar disorder or autism finding a kindred spirit of sorts in Kylo/Ben going to feel about the constant message that such a life isn’t worth living?  Ben just suffers and suffers and suffers and gets nothing for it.

Fifth, we’re presented with material depicting Ben’s youth.  Ben, when he’s not getting the stuffing kicked out of him by life, is quite lovable and as a child, adorable.  At least with Anakin Skywalker, we’re supposed to appreciate the tragedy of a good person who was loved falling to the Dark Side.  With Ben it makes us love him 10x more and at the same time make us even more upset they unceremoniously killed off that darling little moppet who played with butterflies, ran around the house naked, and begged his daddy to come home.  

Sixth, it didn’t seem like Ben was sufficiently loved either in the films or by Lucasfilm.  Or, to put it this way, whatever gestures Han, Leia, or Luke tried to throw Ben’s way were cases of too little too late.  I always wondered why, if Leia knew Snoke was manipulating Ben, she didn’t go out to find the mo-fo and kill him?  I would!  Leia tries to reach out to Ben in TROS but in the movie it comes off as her distracting him so Rey could inflict a fatal wound.  In fact, the weird thing about TROS is it feels like Leia was trying to take out Ben all along:  the distraction, ensuring Rey takes up her “Jedi path” which Leia knew full well this would somehow lead to Ben’s death, and finally her disappearing the same time he does.  It’s weird!  Han tries to save Ben but he’s a muggle who’s no match against his unstable son gifted with magic powers and lightsaber abilities.  Luke apologizes in TLJ but never had anything to say to his nephew again.  Adding insult to injury, the Blue Ghostie Exposition Scene From Hell establishes Luke and Leia as resigned to Ben’s fate all along, kicking their flesh and blood to the curb for a surrogate more to their liking.  It’s horrible!  The worst is of course his soulmate barely reacting to his death.  In the end nobody cared.  He’s like the kid who cleans up his act, gets good grades, gets into a decent college, and his family couldn’t care less.  The movie abruptly kills him off and it’s on to cheering and celebrations.  Nobody remembers or speaks of Ben and he’s not seen again in any form.  Four-five months after the film has come out, there’s no official Ben merchandise or collectibles.  It’s like “Ben Solo?  Don’t know him.”  You just know that every time the Star Wars social media team has to mention him or post something with him in it, they’re muttering under their breath, “Oh God, here it comes again.”

So they got a number of fans to empathize with Kylo/Ben and hope for his redemption as well as a chance at happiness after a lifetime of abuse and suffering, only to kill him off in a sudden and graceless manner.  There’s no payoff for Ben or the audience.  He’s just...gone.  To us it doesn’t seem right.  It seems cruel and unjust.  But fans are also a tenacious lot so they’re hoping Lucasfilm will realize it made a mistake and correct it.  In the meantime, Ben lives on in our fan fics, edits, fan art, and fan merchandise.

[morwensteelsheen]

farawyn and borodred for the ship ask game thing?

thank you so much!! :)

okay i’ll start with borodred because for some unfathomable reason i actually got there first —

1. What made you ship it?

One of my favourite Types of ships is the Elder Statesmen Of War-type set-ups, where it’s less about people brought together through theatrical romantic gestures and more about the steadiness of people who are going through similar (immensely difficult) circumstances, who know that in their hearts they’re always going to put their duty to that cause first, but still seek out human comfort in other people who will understand what their priorities are and why.

I think there’s also a lot of similarities about the kind of helplessness they both face despite having this tremendous innate strength. Both of them still have to deal with family dynamics that are complex (made more complex by the war) and that can’t be fixed just by their own sheer will power; both of them die these utterly unnecessary deaths (not that death makes a ship but I think in this instance it actually points to the constant tragedy these guys face); and both of them are meant to be the principal figures of their families and people and are ultimately sidelined by the cruel mechanisations of war and the forward march of history or whatever wanky term there is for it — my apologies to ep thompson's ghost, dont haunt me bro.

Plus there’s obviously the interesting thread raised when Faramir starts bitching about Gondor and likens Gondor (and by very explicit extension, Boromir) to Rohan. That always made me go ‘Hmmmmmm, wonder what else Boromir liked about Rohan,’ lmao.

Anyways for me the ship is the equivalent of Star Wars’ Kanan and Hera or (my OTP to end all others) Luke and Wedge, just people getting by on love and duty and without big ol fancy romance.

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

The fanon, I think, really makes it, as with so many other LOTR ships. battlefield manners, by themightypen is essentially the definitive take for me on them — these two guys who are just so fucking exhausted, man, but still overcome by defensive love for their families, even if their (foster-)siblings are naïve fools. That I just love, love, love. Plus I think they’re unique for their ability to pretty comfortable explore the relationship between Gondor & Rohan in advance of the Ring War without having to stray too far into AU, which I always appreciate.

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Not really, tbh, except in that I don’t think Boromir is necessarily as laddy as people like to portray him. I’m happy to play into it in, say, my modern AUs because I think that’s a fun and sweet niche for him, but I am a bit 🤪 about Boromir as this kind of reckless, drunken playboy (not least because I think that’s a much funnier niche for Faramir to fill, at least when he’s younger). Chapter Four of Swaddledog’s Hearts and Minds gets my preferred Boromir characterisation absolutely spot on, I think.

And now, sigh, the ultimate OTP, Farawyn —

1. What made you ship it?

For starters, I think I am obsessed with Éowyn in a way I’ve never quite been obsessed with any other fictional character. I came to reading LOTR at this moment in my life where I was intensely frustrated about everything — trapped inside permanently (helplessly!) because of the pandemic, just starting a new political organisation that I truly believed in but that was still making me feel like shit, facing down an untenable about of work, and, fundamentally, really, really hating being a woman and what that means. And along comes Éowyn, who is bitter, who is cold, who is ANGRY, and who doesn’t perform joy or softness or gentleness just because people expect her to. She’s this seminal Woman Of War in so many ways, I think the kind of person a lot of us wish we could be. She’s got her emotional taps cut off at the source, she holds her head high and faces down unimaginable personal and political terrors, and at the end of it all still has this abiding love for her family that, I would argue, is almost unparalleled by anyone else in the book.

After all that, she gets this incredible moment of emotional catharsis (or what we expect to be emotional catharsis): “no living man am I!” She undertakes THE greatest martial act of the Ring War, and in that moment there’s this unbelievably sophisticated dialogue happening about gender (“Éowyn it was, and Dernhelm also”), and leadership (Merry finding his courage not because of the immediate scenario of the Witch-king, but because he’s spurred into it by Éowyn’s presence), and love and care.

And then we learn that no, actually, this glorious act of violence wasn’t the emotional catharsis we thought it would be. She gets to ride to war, she gets to throw herself headlong at death, and in the end that hopeless act of individualism isn’t really what does it for her. She’s still left desolate and despairing, and actually all of her problems haven’t gone away.

And then we need to rewind a bit, because along comes Faramir, who is gentle, and is kind, and does seem to believe in joy, but not because people expect it — actually it's made abundantly clear nobody expects it — but because it’s something quite innate to how he figures the world. And he’s a huge fucking nerd too. I have a lot of thoughts on Faramir’s flaws and why I find them endearing, which I won’t put here, but almost immediately you get this sense of a guy who’s quite melodramatic, good humoured, and very much not made to live in a time of war.

But he’s also clear-headed about war and what it requires (tactically, if not strategically, though that’s a post for another day), but who is kind of cynical and weary of it in his own unique way. And it’s a unique cynicism given his personal circumstances because he’s the second son of The great family of Gondor, he’s apparently — though with some big ol’ question marks hanging about the extent — very able to command some of the elite units in the realm, and what’s more than that, he’s got all these fantastical powers (the light mind reading to start, to say nothing of this apparently magical ability to command animals too. bruh.). By all accounts he should be this brazen hot mess, but he’s not. He’s desperate to claw his way out of this war-torn cage of expectation his people have for how a man should comport himself in time of war. Is it a little naïve? Sure. A little fussy? Absolutely. But does it point to that same desperation that Éowyn has? Yes! But also the practicality, like, neither of them are really enjoying the circumstances they live under, but good fucking god are they both able to Make It Work.

So finally we get to the Houses of Healing and what is the finest and most aggressively romantic writing of LOTR. Seriously, it’s so fucking much. It’s breathtaking. It reminds me quite viscerally of this fabulous quote from Les Mis:

The power of a glance has been so much abused in love stories, that it has come to be disbelieved in. Few people dare now to say that two beings have fallen in love because they have looked at each other. Yet it is in this way that love begins, and in this way only.

At some point I will devote more time to talking about the two reasons line, and the blissful Queen of Gondor speech, but I think to me that big, important line is: “And then her heart changed, or at least she understood it; and the winter passed, and the sun shone upon her.”

It’s not about Éowyn changing herself entirely (though, I think, it really does bear mentioning that she does change, and that’s every bit as important to understanding that scene as it is romantic), it’s about Éowyn coming to terms with how to live with herself as herself, and how to live in communion with someone else. She can’t just cut people out anymore, and she can’t just treat them as objects of infatuation as she did with Aragorn, she has to reckon with people as they are. And that’s sort of the moment where I knew I was about to plunge fully off the deep end with these two and never know a moments’ peace again, lmao.

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

Someone on here once called Farawyn a love letter to women and, by god, yes, exactly that. I love the capacity for emotional intimacy, that is beautiful in ways I can’t express. To me, though, my favourite thing is the promise of life they speak of. Not as in oh they shag loads and have babies (though not opposed to that, obviously), but in the sense that unlike Aragorn and Arwen, who are always going to be buried under/burdened with the crushing weight of history and tradition, Éowyn and Faramir are going out yonder those hills and they’re going to do some real cottagecore farming shit. Obviously with all the trappings of rank and nobility and whatnot, but they, unique to anybody else in the books, get to sow this new idea of what life should be. They are, outside of Aragorn, the single most powerful people in Gondor. Éowyn’s got the ear of a king, a steward (which is essentially a prime-ministerial deal here), and functionally her own prince (if the hobbits are to be believed when they refer to it as essentially hers). I suspect that, in life, there were remarkably few arguments she wasn’t winning, and that Ithilien probably trended towards the jumped up noble hippie camp Tolkien so desperately wanted Oxford to be (or, in other words — Cambridge, lol).

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Yeah, man, everybody stop treating Faramir like he’s a big fucking crybaby and Éowyn like she’s some kind of shrieking 2010-era tumblr girl.

One of the single most important lines defining Faramir’s character is when Denethor roasts his ass for always trying to appear noble and lordly, if you ignore every other piece of textual evidence we have about him, what part of that line makes you think Faramir’s some simpering daisy? And why would you want to link tremendous emotional intelligence and care with being too limp-wristed to function, lol??? Like I struggle loads with writing Faramir, because I have never once in my life tried to be noble or self-restrained, so find it hard to get into that mindset, but better, I think, to imagine him too closed off than to do this wilting flower song and dance lmao.

And stop making Éowyn out to be this over-emotional angst machine. She’s got problems, yes, and she’s sure as shit got a lot of angst, but at almost every point in the book where we’re overtly dealing with her emotions, she’s sublimating them into something else. One of the most serious times we see her cry is when she’s fighting with Aragorn about riding out, and after that moment she literally tries to kill herself. Those tears aren’t standard, man, that’s a real watershed (lol) moment for her. You have to read around what the text is saying to get a better feel why everybody’s constantly calling her cold and distant.

[lizardrosen]

National Theater Live King Lear

Hello, here is a ridiculously long review of this production! I just had a lot of feelings and thoughts!

Setting/Staging/Mood

I really loved the sound design for this one. It’s hard to describe, but the chords gave it a real presence and sense of motion. It was vaguely reminiscent of horror movie music in the way the chords lingered and didn’t blend in seamlessly, but I wouldn’t call it horror music exactly. The BELL tolling while Lear zips up his folder was such a good first image and bit of sound. And there were drinking songs, which I always love to see in a play. Put that Epic Theater technique straight in my mouth!

The circle in the middle that’s red in the first half and white in the second was a really creative detail, and the actors used that space effectively, especially with overlapping exits and entrances to make it feel that scenes happened in different locations while still being thematically connected.

The opulence and ceremony of the  first scene gradually gives way to the more sparse and modern staging of act five — formal military dress to fatigues

I love how Lear raises his hand in prayer and command, compelling everyone else to follow suit to show their devotion and allegiance (and is there a difference between their king and their gods in this world?) even when they’re unsure about whether he’s right to be so cruel to Cordelia.

The recurring imagery of money changing hands really fits in well with the theme of love as currency that’s already in the text!

The single tree in the background of act five gave me Waiting For Godot vibes, which works SO WELL with the absurdism and nihilism of Lear.

Thoughts about specific characters under the cut!

Edgar! My SON!!

Luke Thompson is the reason I’ve wanted so badly to watch this production; ever since I saw his standout performance as Laertes in the 2017 Almeida Theater production, and found out he’s also played Orestes and Edgar, I’ve just been rabid about it!

It’s neat to see him actually at the ceremony of the first scene, with Edmund already Literally in his shadow.

He’s a little less hapless and distracted than most of the Edgars I’ve seen, a little more watchful. In 1.2 he’s actually pushing back against Edmund’s insistence that he’s in danger, and then in 2.1 there’s a long moment of just Looking at Edmund’s knife before he flees.

Similarly, his decision to become Poor Tom felt a bit more calculated. It’s not that he isn’t scared and lost and desperate, because he definitely is, but the plan itself doesn’t seem to grow out of that feeling as much as he (sort of) calmly looked at his options.

Of course, he doesn’t stay calm; that agonized scream when he actually cuts himself, and later on when he sees his father blinded and screams “World, world, o world!” really feels like he’s letting something out, and more than usual he seems to have been holding this part of himself back for a long time.

The counterpart to that is the self that does the watching — it’s a part of all Edgars that makes him a really compelling character, with his self-aware asides, but it’s particularly pronounced here — there’s a moment where he says “Bless thy five wits!” in his normal voice, and then catches himself and has to reassert the role he’s playing for his own safety.

At times he’s very impatient and frustrated while leading Gloucester, but he also cares about him a lot and is so terrified that he’s actually died when he “fell” from the cliff, this poor boy’s entire body is trembling!

He instinctively moves to protect Gloucester from Lear when he gets more violent and unpredictable with “find these son-in-laws and KILL KILL KILL” and it was a good moment

Gives into his own viciousness in the fight with Oswald, and then, Hamlet-like, lugs the guts into the neighbor room.

Edgar doesn’t seem to know if he wants his dad to recognize him or not — he puts Gloucester’s hand on his face, but then as soon as he seems about to realize who he is he very quickly takes it away again and gets them moving

He’s even more desperate and reckless than Edmund in their duel, but then once Edmund is fatally injured, he’s right by his side, holding his hand, helping him through it!

He needs Lear to recognize Kent, he needs Lear to not be dying, he’s so sincere, but then he decides if he can’t save anyone here he can at least help Albany to help the country heal and pledges himself to the future.

Lear

Awful but also very pitiable, more like a human losing his grip and knowing it, than just a Vessel for themes that are echoed in other characters.

Lashes out at himself more than at other people, but he definitely still does both.

“But they shall be the terrors of the earth” is just a man who’s terrified to be losing his words.

He has bad knees and everyone knows it but he keeps trying to kneel, and sometimes it feels like he’s mocking his daughters — look how much I’m suffering for you even though you’re ungrateful — and sometimes it feels like he’s forgotten his own body’s limitations.

Spends a lot of time offering physical comfort to other characters, since he can’t be a dad for his real daughters.

His flower crown scene was Just ophelia, and I think that’s beautiful.

aaaaa, his helpless grief for Cordelia! He moves the noose from her neck to his!! and then he takes out a handgun and threatens everyone away from him, but he’s just so helpless and sad!

Edmund! my other son!

I was a little surprised to see that this actor is James Corrigan, because I recognized him as Roderigo in the RSC Othello, and he’s sort of the anti-Edmund, so I was excited to see the contrast, but honestly there wasn’t as much of a contrast as I expected. He had many of the same cringing appeasing mannerisms, but in a way that makes it clear that he’s aware of his unfair situation in a way his Roderigo really isn’t. Despite being a bastard he has a lot more social power and mobility than Roderigo so he doesn’t seem nearly as pathetic.

Other Edmunds are composed and precise in their soliloquies because this is the one place no one will see them planning things out, and this Edmund is babbling and overwhelmed because this is the one place no one will see him feeling things, because feeling things is dangerous.

He’s so! scared! of his dad! It’s painful to watch, and it’s almost as painful to watch how he’s still looking for approval and respect from Gloucester. Someone save this boy!

He gets in WAY over his head, and it feels like he’s scrambling at every turn, but then at some point he just levels up and strides with confidence, and it’s really good to see.

oh my god, oh my god, he saw everything that happened with Gloucester! After everyone else leaves he comes out from his hiding place looking just devastated. He hated his dad, but he never hated him that much, and by the time he couldn’t stomach it any longer there was no way for him to escape, and then he’s still processing it when he sees that the Fool was also there, and he has to kill him because no one can know he was there. I SCREAMED when this moment happened, it was so good!

WOW, he’s so smooth, it’s no wonder both the sisters want a piece of that! It’s more of a power play with Regan, and a little more courtly with Goneril, and he just knows what each of them want and need from him.

When Lear and Cordelia are captured, Lear says “As if we were God’s spies” and he’s still kingly enough that the soldiers drop to their knees and lift their hands in allegiance, and Edmund has to rush in to make one of them stand up while saying “Take them away” sort of impatiently, and then he immediately checks the order he’s written for their deaths, because he’s just seen how dangerous it is for these two to be kept alive. aaaaa, and then when the captain hesitates, he holds a gun to his temple on “Either say thou’lt do’t, or thrive by other means” !! I love that line and I love the sheer range of deliveries I’ve seen for it!

The wonder in his voice at “Yet Edmund was beloved.” is really good! He’s so desperate to do some good by the end, and I love! Edmund of Gloucester!

Kent

Having Kent played by a woman does some really neat things to the character, not least of which is crossdressing Caius! She sort of feels like she overperforms toxic masculinity to fit into the culture of Lear’s retinue. Other Kents seem to be allowing their latent desires and bluntness to emerge with this role, but this Kent isn’t suited to it, and sometimes she gets a little carried away or makes missteps like beating up Oswald, but she has to see it through, for Lear’s sake.

Kent also doesn’t feel Big In Love with Lear, but she’s definitely devoted to him — and even more than that, she’s devoted to the image of loyalty itself.

Her genuine affection for Cordelia, and pride to see how she’s doing as a queen, is really sweet and good!

After she’s been banished, she rushes out of the throne room as Burgundy and France enter, covering her face like she’s desperately trying to hold back her tears.

She’s with the French soldiers looking for Lear, and is the one who tells him “You shall have anything!”

At the end she’s not exactly surprised that Lear doesn’t connect her with Caius, and she’s not upset (about that part of it anyway, plenty of things in this scene are upsetting), but she’s definitely feeling something.

ahhhh, she picks up Lear’s handgun and sort of cradles it to her side when she prepares for her final journey! sweetheart!

Gloucester

he’s just! a terrible father!! simply the worst!

A lot of the time Gloucester isn’t a very good dad just because he’s friendly and careless and just not paying attention to how he’s treating his sons; this one is actively awful and I actively hate him!!

From the very first scene he’s so scornful and dismissive of Edmund and hitting him for no reason, and then turns around to show off photos of Edgar, and that doesn’t even really benefit Edgar either, because he’s held to an unfair standard he can never live up to.

It really shows in how both of them are touch starved but also extremely cautious about being touched. Someone save them!!

(In fact, in the serial killer Claudius AU, a certain Earl does get himself murdered when Edmund is sixteen)

Not a Bad Dad thing, but not really showing Gloucester in a good light: he does think Lear’s age and reverence should be respected, but his motivation seems to be a lot more based in his indignation that Regan and Cornwall have taken over his home and order him around. For this Gloucester it seemed to be less about feeling sorry for Lear, and more about reasserting his sovereignty.

But because this is Lear I don’t just hate him, and he’s not just a bad father, you also feel for him a lot after he’s been blinded and his legs are just trembling and he’s so scared and lost.

Even after he’s blinded he keeps turning to his photos of Edgar in his wallet, and it’s sad and regretful instead of showing off.

He had a really good cliff fall! He goes up to what he thinks is the edge, and then turns around and braces himself to fall backwards, and then Edgar has to rush to catch him, and lay him gently on the ground, and panic that maybe he’s actually died.

Lear Sisters

No one was prepared for Lear’s announcement and the way each of them responds informs so much of how they act through the rest of the play!

Goneril is startled and unsure and fumbling, and I really felt for her and her “hateful life”, and the way she’s stunned in the wake of Lear’s abuse, but then needs to pull herself together again when he returns. For so much of this play she feels small and adrift, but then she’s so happy for once whenever she’s with Edmund. Albany really does seem to care about her and he’s trying to be good for her, so he takes it when she yells at him, and then stays behind to pray for a bit. He’s a little less nice later on but to be fair she is cheating on him and not bothering to hide it very well.

Regan! With her fake tears and her constant flirtiness, and the way she’s always twirling and showing off! She is a hot mess, and she only gets hotter and messier as the play goes on, but she and Cornwall love each other a lot, and she wants to be suited to torture the way her husband is, but she gets into it by the end of that scene. And then!! her hand on Edmund’s throat! W o w

Cordelia is calm and sure and knows exactly what her sisters are, and in that first scene she comes so close to reaching her father and getting him to change his mind about disowning her. And that carries through to the rest of her performance — she’s competent and precise and loving, and France is smitten with her and listens to her and respects her. When she’s reunited with Lear she wants him to wake up, but also isn’t prepared for it to actually happen, and then she’s so surprised when they say she should be the one to address him first.

Cornwall

I first saw Daniel Rabin as Reynaldo in the Almeida Theater Hamlet (ask me about how Reynaldo and Laertes are half-dating whenever he follows Laertes to France, because I have Opinions), and his Cornwall is SO different

He’s not just manipulative, but violent and enjoying his violence, but he’s also sexy and possessive and commanding, and it’s no wonder Edmund falls for him as hard as he does!

TYING HIS SCARF around Edmund’s hand after he wounds himself for love and validation!? The soft tender look of surprise that Edmund gives him in response!? wow! wow, what a MOMENT!

And then he shoves Edmund into the room after he’s been shown Gloucester’s letter, he has to punish the messenger and assert his position. And after “Thou shalt find a dearer father in my love” Edmund HUGS him, and he’s startled at first but half-returns it (and probably thinking about how he can Use this) (and then cornwall/edmund/regan happens, shhh)

Like Daniel Rabin’s Reynaldo, his Cornwall is very Watchful, just stepping back to observe what’s going on, and then quietly making his judgment before he says anything — and when he does speak he absolutely has the other person’s number.

Good commanding headtilts!

Oh, the laugh right before he uses the hook from the slaughterhouse on Gloucester is just terrifying and compelling, and he’s so turned on by this. Good for him because then he gets to die, and he’s so disgusted and vicious when saying the first servant should be thrown onto the dunghill.

Miscellaneous Moments

Lear puts his jacket on Edgar, and Kent puts her jacket on Lear, and then he immediately takes it off and puts it around Edgar’s shoulders and ties the arms together, but while he’s trying to take off his shirt too, Edgar’s already getting on the ground and letting the jackets fall off of him. Just! Jackets and touch as a form of affection!!

When Gloucester comes out to find Lear, he and Edgar see each other, and there’s just a moment where they’re frozen, Edgar terrified that his father will recognize him, and Gloucester perhaps feeling there’s something familiar about this madman but having no idea what.

While Gloucester is telling Kent about how he had a son he loved who betrayed him, Lear and Edgar are in the background sharing a long hug that almost feels like a beautiful dance! It was such a striking moment, I loved it sooo much.

the HUG with Edmund and Cornwall!! Not over it, never over it.

when Cornwall tells Edmund to leave with Goneril, he gives Goneril his jacket and she’s just quietly surprised and pleased, and it’s cute, and I want her to be happy!!

[sapphicambitions]

like when I say I think Luke Castellan is gay I don’t mean it as a cutesy “don’t u wish ur fave was gay” kind of way I mean textually and seriously I believe he was gay. 

I could cite the petty stuff like “he only had female friends growing up” and “he clearly never showed interest in women even though many women were interested in him” or “he is one of the few people in the series who didn’t actually have a serious love interest / partner” or whatever but i feel like it’s actually much deeper than that. Luke was a young person who had a difficult and strained relationship with his parents. He saw how flawed the system was and how it was treating people like him, and sought to change the system, give power to people like him, and start it all over. (Yeah, he fell victim to people who influenced him to the dark side but that had nothing to do with his gayness, imo.) He just reminds me a lot of characters like Nico and Catra from She-Ra: repressed gay with a strained relationship with parental figures, angry and willing to take down the world. In this essay I will-

.......like no but seriously

Luke had a very troubled childhood because of his mother’s damaged mind, and the fact that she was constantly having fits and telling him how terrible things were going to be for him. When Luke is (angrily) describing his childhood to Hermes he says: “You could’ve helped me when she was having one of her fits, shaking me and saying crazy things about my fate. When I used to hide in the closet so she wouldn’t find me with those glowing eyes,” like!!! he even mentions hiding in a closet (let me find the subtext where i want it)  but seriously, you know what’s one of the first things my mother said to me when I came out to her? “You know how much harder your life is going to be, don’t you?” So then Luke ran away from his home and found a new family, one that looked out for each other and loved each other more than their blood family ever did. This is a queer narrative!!

And with Hermes, it was all sorts of fucked up. His father kept him at a distance. Made Luke feel like there was something wrong with him, like he didn’t love him. His dad made it very clear to him what his expectations were of him, tried to encourage him to be a great hero, like all the heroes before him (when he was talking to him about sending him on a quest and Hermes said “You will get a change to be a great hero before…”) but Luke didn’t want to be the person his father expected him to be. He wanted to be something new, something true to himself. Luke was always burdened down with the weight of his parent’s expectations, both the expectation that he should strive to be a perfect hero and the knowledge that his future was doomed. 

So one time i was at a bar with friends and me and the only other queer person there were talking and he was like “gay men and their dads, you know what i mean?” and I was like “yeah also gay women and their moms” and we had a whole discussion about growing up with a certain set of expectations of who you’ll be from your parents and the gendered expectations they have for you and having to crush all of that when you come out to them and navigating the difficulties that come with that when you want to be your own person so like there’s your real world comparison / evidence for that argument

ALSO Luke ran away from home but then kind of immediately went to Camp Half-Blood where he was shoved into the Hermes cabin with all of his siblings and undetermined kids and then still expected to scrape part of his food in the fire and be thankful to his deadbeat dad. That would suck! He was already harboring all of this rage inside of him, and then he went on his quest. Saw the world. Was exposed to other schools of thought. He understood that he was just being used as a pawn. He came back a different person, he didn’t quite fit in at camp anymore now that he’d seen the world. Kind of like when I went off to be gay at college and then came back to my childhood home and had to be straight around all my high school friends. just saying.

Luke saw the flaws in the system, the way the gods ruled the world. The way the gods treated their children and how much it hurt them. He felt so betrayed and hurt and abandoned by his dad and all the gods, so instead of sitting with it, he thought “I can do better.” Luke sought to rebuild the world, scrap it all and start new. Start with new leaders who took better care of everyone, who did things completely differently than the way it was done before, and raze anything before it. We’re going to ignore the fact that he was influenced to the dark side for a moment because it’s not related to this essay, but I also feel like this is a very queer narrative. (how many times can i say that phrase in this essay) Seeing the flaws in the way the world is treating people like you and wanting to do better. Luke said (this not an actual book quote more of a dramatic sentiment): “I won’t be used and I won’t be who you want me to be. I will become my own person and there’s nothing you can fucking do to stop me. I will make a new world, better than before, without you, for people like me, and I will tear down the walls of the previous world if I fucking have to” and i just think that’s very gay rights of him.

A thing that I’m a big fan of is seeing specific character types and relating them to each other. For example: our fave Nico di Angelo and Catra from She-Ra. (If you haven’t seen She-Ra, she’s the DEFINITION of an angry repressing gay) We can see from Nico’s narrative and from Catra’s narrative and also just straight up my own personal narrative that sometimes when you’re gay and repressing and afraid of becoming the person you are warned against, while also knowing that you were meant for more but maybe not quite understanding what that more is yet, and overall just want to feel accepted and loved as who you truly are but not receiving that, it can tend to make one lash out in angry and irresponsible ways. It can make one isolate themselves from those they previously were close to. It can lead to irrational and impulsive choices for all the wrong reasons because you don’t feel right and you don’t know why. Not at all saying this is the same across the board for queer people, it’s just something that honestly happens to some people and I can relate to when i see it in characters. 

I see that in Luke. He is weighed down by everything his parents want him to be, both good and bad, and is trying to scrap the world and make a new one for people like him. He wants to take his turn, pushing aside anyone who’s hurt him. Luke was someone who was constantly being torn apart by the world and just wanted to feel safe and secure in who he was and the world he was in. He was acting in anger and fear and hurt and revenge for his childhood and because he still felt like there wasn’t a place in the world for him. He lashed out against his father and his family and his friends and pushed them all away. Sure, he had some friends at Camp Half-Blood, but Annabeth’s devotion to him was not enough to make up for like, all of his childhood trauma. First everything with his mom and then being on the run for so long and then meeting his dad and then losing Thalia (which also fueled his anger and hatred of the gods but like we knew that) and his quest and just everything. He was dealt a cruel hand and he didn’t handle it well. Not that that has anything to do with him being gay but I’m just lamenting over the tragedy of his life. Anyway.

Also not to quote the Lighting Thief because it’s not technically in Rick’s canon but i still think they perfectly understood the characters so I’m including it, but the idea that Luke has tried to be a good kid, he’s tried to do what was expected of him, he’s done everything they ever asked of him, but it didn’t pay off. It didn’t matter. It still wasn’t a world he belonged in. “you know this world will never be ours as long as our parents rule over the stars” and “it’s time to make the world our own” strikes me very much to the tune of LGBT activism. once again ringing in that idea of “if you won’t make the world better than i will do it with my bare hands” he also sings “the gods were never on our side, so i think it’s time we watched them fall” which gets to me every time because like he was just a kid! he was just a kid who had so much hurt and anger inside of him and he went about everything the wrong way but he was just a fucking kid! 

also YES to be petty and shallow but while Annabeth and Thalia refer to luke romantically, he never mentioned the same for him. Kelli the sexy monster hits on him during Battle of the Labyrinth and was clearly interested in him and he pushes her away without any hesitation. IN FACT the only demigods referenced on Luke’s ship are Chris and Ethan (why we didn’t see any of that trio, I’ll never understand), with Ethan working much closer with Luke and being a major player in the Titan War. (also I think Ethan is queer too but that’s a battle for another day.) And Rick LOVES romances. pretty much every character gets paired up with someone in the original series (percy and annabeth, grover and juniper, even Clarisse and Chris) which is fab thank u rick for my percabeth rights but Luke is the only character who does not get a girlfriend!! because he’s a homosexual!!!! you know what other character didn’t get paired off in the original series??? NICO, a known homo!!!  i do think that luke is a case of “accidentally written homo” because this was before rick saved the world and gave us nico’s coming out and really started pushing for queer rep in the books (thank u again rick!!!!), so I’m allowed to find my gay subtext in the original series, thank u very much!

listen all im saying is that my favorite character narrative is “angry gay coded villain who is repressing and lashing out at the world because of it” and i truly believe luke fits into that narrative and I stand by my argument.

Thank u for attending my TED Talk

[buckyreaderrecs]

Bucky Barnes and the Girl With Too Much Power: Chapter 2/?

Summary:  Nobody knows about your power. You’ve never really wanted to use it, let alone hurt someone with it. But, someone has figured you out, and now they’re following you. There’s only one place you can go for help - The Avengers. Good news is they’re good people. Bad news is your power is entirely relevant to soft, sad, recovering, broody Bucky Barnes. Chapter 1. 

Chapter 2:  Bucky checks in on you while you're in limbo, waiting for a decision from The Avengers.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/reader Characters: Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov, Sam Wilson, Tony Stark, Wanda Maximoff Additional tags: Bucky needs a hug, recovering Bucky, mostly canon compliant (Infinity War and Endgame didn’t happen, Stark Tower still exists), angst, possible future smut (who knows, not me), mutual pining, reader has powers, she/her pronouns, more tags/characters to be added with future chapters

Bucky Barnes and the Girl With Too Much Power Chapter 2/?

It wasn't a prison cell, that's for sure. It was almost a small hotel suite, only a touch more clinical. Compared to your own bedroom though, it wasn't home. It wasn't comfortable, nor comforting. The room served to detain you while you sat in a background check, moral compass limbo. Somewhere else in the building, deep in the secret spaces of Stark Tower, a group of heroes sat discussing your fate. All you could do was pace from window to ensuite and back again.

Everybody was in agreeance that your story was worth a test of validity. If what you said was true, then someone had a method of seeking out powered people. And, not just those with abilities and faces splashed across the news like themselves, Jessica Jones or Luke Cage. Someone found you. That alone was just the tip of the hypothetical iceberg. It also begged the question… What did they want with you?

As good as they were, it was only one in the group of six that thought all of this only after being concerned for your wellbeing. It took Wanda a good minute to catch up to the others' conspiracy theories and climbing heartrates. She had been the one to walk you to the detention suite, softly spoken and apologetic about the circumstances. When you were locked in, you could hear her on the other side of the door hesitate for a moment before leaving to join the others.

When Wanda sat down at the table, she pulled a tablet close and began to read through the data already being collected on you. The room felt off somehow. Her friends were on edge. Steve, in particular, seemed… something… Wanda couldn't read him. That's when she noticed the absence of Bucky.

Only Steve, Sam, and Natasha were seated around the oval table. Tony was pacing, talking to F.R.I.D.A.Y. about you. He had a cup of coffee in one hand, and his other waved around. Wanda put it together then; whatever Bucky said or did to leave the party, it had unsettled Steve. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing - Steve wasn't sad or angry or worried - but it must have been a rare thing.

Wanda stopped analysing the room and started to flick through digital files. "What was the point?" she asked then. Everybody looked up from their work to Wanda. "Locking her up. What was the point?"

…

You wondered what the point of locking you in a room was. Did The Avengers feel safer that way? Maybe they felt more in control. Really, all that stood between you and getting out was a phone call, getting redirected to Stark Tower and hey presto - magic - bam - confetti - you'd have someone there within minutes.

They'd seen it in your face though. There was abject fear and a lack of options. Each and every one of them had been there, in one way or another. They knew you weren't going anyway.

But someone was coming to you.

The rapping of knuckles on the door startled you. When you squeaked you felt stupid for it. Hopefully, the knocker didn't hear.

He did. He bit back a smile too.

"Uh… Come in," you called, again confused at the point of the locked door.

As the door opened, you stood up, bringing with you a throw pillow from the bed you'd been sitting on between perimeter paces. Hugging it to your chest was a completely unconscious action. It wasn't until Bucky Barnes stepped into the room and you saw his eyes flick from your face to the pillow and back again that you even realised you were holding it. Putting it down now seemed like an even more awkward course of action, so you let yourself keep it.

Bucky left the door ajar, then came to stand in front of you. He knew the exact distance to leave to not be threatening, but not be eerie either. He'd learnt that lingering on the edges unnerved people. It was a habit he'd formed to keep himself safe or unseen, but Steve and Sam were constantly reminding him that he was safe now.

"I'm sorry!" you blurted out before Bucky could say anything. His eyebrows pulled together in confusion, but the floodgates had been opened and you weren't really watching him for a reaction. "I'm so, so fuckin' sorry. I said-I said, like, if I got this far and I got to… show you, that it wouldn't be you, you know? Because… Fuck. I'm just…"

When you waltzed your way in to see The Avengers, you knew you'd have to show them your power. Over and over, you'd made yourself promise that it wouldn't be Bucky or Clint Barton. Honestly, none of them were great options. Their sense of independence and autonomy was paramount to them being… stable… okay… alive. It just seemed cruel to take that away, even for a second. All the way over to the tower you'd had your fingers crossed, repeating over and over, 'don't let Bucky be there, don't let Bucky be there, don't let Bucky be there.'

He let you speak, let you say what you thought you needed to. There were only so many times you could apologise though.

"I'm sorry," you whispered again, voice cracking. You threw the pillow aside, frustrated.

Bucky couldn't remember the last time someone was so considerate of his very specific history. The others treated him with semi-hostile gentleness. It was weird. He was a war hero, the longest-serving P.O.W. in fact. But he was also The Winter Solider. Even The Avengers found it hard to reconcile that into one normal approach to his presence. "It will take time," Steve assured him, "But they'll get there."

"It's alright," Bucky spoke. You watched him watch you. "I… insisted," he reasoned with a shrug of his left shoulder. "And, you weren't in the position to be makin' demands."

He looked sorry for you.

"Have you's decided?" you asked after a few beats of nothing.

"Ah... no, well, maybe. I don't know. I didn’t go with them."

You expected him to explain, but he didn't, so you just nodded.

The world had co-existed with powered people and superheroes for a while now, definitely for your lifetime. You grew up with stories about Captain America, and a dozen other myths and legends. In 2008 Tony Stark outed himself, and from there society just had to get used to the fact humans weren't top of the pecking order anymore. You had turned 18 that year and had finally been granted some relief to the painful alienation you felt. You weren't the only one. Now, you wondered if Bucky had got that moment.

When he came out of brainwashing, when Steve pulled him back into the light, did Bucky finally get to feel like he wasn't entirely alone? Did he look around at the kid spider and talking raccoons in absolute wonder? Or did he still feel that cold isolation?

Another few beats of nothing had gone by. He looked like he was moving to leave, his body turning only slightly but enough to prompt more words from your mouth. "You on babysitting duty then?"

He smiled. His whole fucking face lit up when he smiled.

With a sly tilt of the head, Bucky said so casually, "Don't think I'd be much use against you."

A joke! You grinned and shrugged with a little too much ego.

"Nobody here is really used to that… Feelin' powerless doesn't go down to well," Bucky said.

"I'm not…" but you couldn't find the right word; they all seemed a little too cliché.

"Evil? Tryna' kill us, take over the world and all that?" he offered, serving the exact cliché up on a platter. When you nodded, he mirrored your action. "I know. They do too. Can't always trust your gut though,"

"What does your gut say about me?" you asked, the words slipping straight out of your head from where they had popped into your head. The environment was too foreign, the situation too peculiar for you to be self-conscious. That saved you from being embarrassed.

"That you're dangerous," Bucky answered as quickly as you had asked the question. "But… you're tellin' the truth. You're scared."

Hearing the words out loud forced you into some sort of confrontation with the emotion. You were scared. So, so fucking scared. Tears began to roll down your face and your teeth gnawed at the inside of your cheeks.

He hesitated, but Bucky stepped closer and carefully held your shoulders. The pressure was grounding, even on each side. You looked up at him, sniffling. His expression was soft, neutral, warm.

"You're safe here," he told you. "I know how you feel… Trust me."

You tried to start your sentence, but it kept halting between tears. "I don't know what I'm meant to do now," you finally got out.

Bucky sighed, offered a small lopsided smile, and nodded. "I know, darlin'," he whispered, then pulled you into a hug.

Folding your arms up between your chest and his, you felt enclosed. Safe in a bubble. It didn't occur to you to think about how strange it all was. It didn't even occur to Bucky to think about how out of character he was being. Maybe it was because it wasn't really, not if you were judging him by pre-WWII Bucky standards. This was who he used to be, before it all.

Chapter 3. 

[kyluxtrashpit]

TROS Review

Okay here is my extremely long (almost 4k words >.>) review of tros. And that’s without the 2k meta on redemption arcs I also have filed away lmao. First off: I am not leaving the kylux fandom. It’s not a good enough movie to warrant that. Second: I might make a post of things I wished we’d gotten later, but this is already WAY too long lmao. Warnings for spoilers, opinions, and general negativity

EXPLICIT RISE OF SKYWALKER SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT

So. I have watched the thing. I went in knowing the spoilers and oh boy, am I glad I did. Still, overall this movie was… not great lmao. It’s messy and the pacing is off and there are some very weird and straight up Bad moments, but I’m not actually upset about it anymore. It’s more like ‘there’s a lot to unpack here’ except we’re not going to unpack it or even throw away the whole thing, it’s just gonna become that one box that’s still packed and untouched from when you moved 3 years ago. It’s there, but you rarely think about it beyond the occasional ‘maybe I should finally unpack that? Nah, too much effort’

I see a lot of people writing fix it fic and that’s totally valid but tbh… I don’t think it’s worth the effort for me. I think I’m just going to pretend it never happened and write my kylux the way I always have. Maybe I’ll do something with tros at some point, maybe some mean!Hux + redeemed!Ben because I’m awful lmao but for now, it hasn’t changed my plans at all. Which is actually a good thing tbh

Anyway. I’ll start with the good simply because there’s less of it lmao. Best thing about the movie? Everyone in it is looking like a fucking snack. It’s great. These people have always been hot, but this movie really nailed that. Also the trio stuff was fun and felt genuine. I LOVED the hints that Finn is Force sensitive, and I liked him in this movie even though I wish he got more story/time. I enjoyed Rey at the beginning, but her actions and plotline made less and less sense as the movie went on. Kylo was fun; I had gotten worried after that interview that said he’s calm now but he wasn’t lmao, like at all, so that was good. Also I didn’t like how Hux died but I’m endlessly grateful Kylo wasn’t the one to kill him. That might’ve actually ruined the ship for me

The visuals were excellent (save that strobing near the beginning; I’m not epileptic, but I had to close my eyes because it was too much). Some of the jokes hit will, as did some of the emotional bits (Chewie’s “death” was very well-executed and Rey’s scream broke my heart). Weirdly enough, C-3PO is kind of the heart of the movie, which I did not expect at all. Lando’s appearances were too brief but good. I also loved D-O a lot and he’s very cute. I liked seeing a bunch of new planets and environments, however briefly. The acting was also really great throughout on most accounts. I really enjoyed 2 of the Hux scenes (when he’s sitting in that board meeting making a face like he’s mentally eviscerating everyone in the room and when he gets so excited to finally get to blow something up and then Kylo shuts him up with the Force BUT WITHOUT HARMING HIM!!!)

That’s kind of it tbh. The movie overall is really messy. I’ve seen people say it feels like a fever dream and it really does. I’ve seen descriptions of people dreaming the plot of tros and they’re less weird. The pacing in the first chunk is way too fast and there’s way too much to take in. Then things get weird in the middle. Then, well, that ending. It feels like it’s trying too hard to be liked. It’s ‘joke’, ‘reference to past movie’, ‘joke’, ‘reference to past movie’, ‘mention of hope without showing it’, etc. etc. on and on throughout it. Some of those are fun, but it got tiring very quickly. And it made it impossible for me to suspend disbelief long enough to actually get into it

I also saw a lot of reviews saying if you didn’t like tlj, you would like this one. That was not correct. I disliked this for many of same reasons I disliked tlj, but it also managed to hold tfa’s weaknesses as well. Honestly, tros feels like the worst aspects of tlj mixed with the worst aspects of tfa, mixed with way too much nostalgia and then blended up with a good heaping of mania and desperation to keep it going. It tried so hard, wanted to be liked so badly, and you can feel that watching it. It doesn’t feel genuine

It also feels like every single movie in the ST was actually from a different trilogy. None of the 3 connect to each other. You can’t say tros is a successor to tlj or tfa; it’s totally on a different path, which I’m honestly not sure how they managed that. As much as I felt tlj wasn’t a true continuation of tfa, tros feels like its own trilogy mashed into one movie. There wasn’t one consistent plot or character thread to follow between all 3 movies

I think bringing palpatine back was the first fundamental mistake. It didn’t fit. And after creating Kylo and Snoke to be very specifically Not Sith, why bring the Sith back all of a sudden? Palpatine has had his day and he didn’t need this. No one did. Much as he was creepy as hell and that was well done, it didn’t feel right to have him there. Also, I really don’t like the implication he procreated at any point skdfjskldjk

As for Rey… I know I’m in the minority here, but I never found here to be a good narrative foil for Kylo. The connection between the two doesn’t really interest me at all (and this was one of the reasons I didn’t like tlj). It worked better if they were related, which was the biggest reason I was a proponent of Rey Skywalker, but that didn’t happen. The commonalities they have are just: 1) can use the Force, 2) have been lonely. The contrasts are: 1) light vs dark (sort of; this is less explicit in tfa and I miss that greyer view of the Force) and 2) had a family vs didn’t. And that’s pretty much it. In order for 2 characters to contrast and hit the ‘complimentary opposites’ sweet spot, you need much, much more than that. Finn has and always will be a better foil for Kylo and it’s a damn shame they abandoned that in tlj and even more so in tros. I have more thoughts on her that I’ll get to later too

I did like Rey in the beginning, but the longer it went on, the less I could rationalize her actions. Why is she doing that? Why is she trying to ditch her friends all the time? Why does she heal the cave snake? Why does she stab Kylo when he’s just become a non-combatant? Why does she heal him after? Why is she trying to reach out to the spirits of past jedi? Why did she Do That after she wakes up in the end? Why did she then seem to not even care that Kylo died right after? None of this is explained. Show, don’t tell, is great, but you can’t just make massive leaps like that. I didn’t get it. None of this felt like the character I’ve gotten to know over the last few years, nor did it feel consistent within the movie itself

That said, I want to discount one complaint I’ve seen: I got no impression she’s exiling herself on Tatooine at the end. It’s very clear she’s just doing a quick funeral ritual for Luke and Leia. The Falcon is still there, ready for when she’s done. I don’t get where the ‘she’s all alone in the desert again forever and ever’ comes from because it’s clear she’s not. It’s just a private ceremony (plus obvious fanservice). That’s it

For Finn: I liked that his character got to be a lot cooler here. I’m sad that he didn’t get half the attention and plot he deserved, but at least he wasn’t treated as a joke and a coward. My tlj complaint for Finn was that he went through the exact same arc he did in tfa over again; here, he doesn’t. He’s clearly grown into himself. That I liked. But damn, he was supposed to be a main character and he really got sidelined hard. It’s also very clear finnrey was planned at some point but didn’t end up in the final cut. The tease with that felt cruel tbh. He deserved to get to tell Rey he loved her on screen

And Poe: Poe was okay in this one. He felt to me like a different character in tfa and tlj, but this one managed to mesh the two characterizations well. He’s a bit of a hothead who doesn’t think (tlj), but he also really cares about people and is trying his best to lead (tfa). That was very successfully done. However. Poe is the one character with the most backstory. He’s got novels, comics, all of it. Where in the fuck is this history of being a spice runner in all that??? Sketchy as hell to make your one Latino character being a drug runner but you know. It also felt like a HUGE retcon of the one character that actually has fully revealed backstory. Also his thing with Zori was just weird and forced and exhaustingly heterosexual. Completely pointless tbh

As I was rereading this, I realized I forgot Rose but really, that’s because she does pretty much nothing. She has very few lines, never comes along. It’s like they forgot she was there. Or just didn’t care. It was really sad and a huge disrespect to everything KMT has gone through. Both her and her character deserved more

For Hux: I liked the 2 scenes I mentioned above, but other than that I was disappointed. I said this on twitter already, but the biggest crime they committed was getting rid of his fanaticism. Tlj may have turned him into a joke, but at least he was still a zealot. Here, it’s clear he gave up his last fuck like a year ago. It’s 9 am and he’s had 6 glasses of wine because he’s lost the will to live and it’s all pointless. Might as well fuck around and give the Resistance info that might lead to the end of everything he’s worked for his entire life because nothing matters and at least Kylo will lose. That’s dumb and violently ooc. I get him being a traitor to Kylo, I am DOWN for that, but not to the FO. He cares about the FO. He is fanatically devoted to the FO. That was ridiculous and wildly out of character. Also the FO is just gone in favour of Palpatine’s fleet as soon as Hux dies? What happened to them? Are they still out there? Who even knows? WHAT A FUCKING WASTE

Also Pryde? Fuck that guy and fuck JJ/LF/Disney for thinking it’s okay to have an old imperial kill Hux. Especially since the visual dictionary today confirmed Pryde knew Brendol and our Hux had known him for years. The possible implications are gross as fuck. If anyone was going to kill Hux one on one, it should have been Finn (with a wonderful stormtrooper rebellion arc involved) for the sake of both characters. I’m personally going to choose to believe Hux was wearing a blaster proof vest (thank you, Delilah Dawson, for putting those into Black Spire as canon) and faked his death. He’s living in blissful exile with Millie now or rebuilding the actual FO and ready to take over as the Emperor he deserves to be

Oh and Leia’s scenes did feel weird. I appreciate them trying to incorporate her, but it didn’t quite work. I feel like having her be offscreen yet present would’ve worked better than most of what they used. Some worked better than others though. I also have some Thoughts about her death but I’m about to get into the second half of the movie stuff and I’ll cover that there

Now Kylo. My darling, sweet, disaster boy. So. Okay. I knew no matter what happened his end would be controversial. And I have a lot of feelings on redemption arcs that can be distilled into one thing: if they’re written well, I like them, no matter how much bad the character has done; however, they are almost never written well enough. One of the first things I said coming out of tfa back in 2015 is ‘that’s going to be a disappointing redemption arc in a few years’. It was never about what ending I wanted (I actually favour something more grey than simply ‘oh he’s good now’ or ‘dies evil’, but that was way too ambitious for them to attempt so I never bothered to hope for it), because I knew it was coming. So this didn’t really bother me beyond the fact that it was too sudden. I do blame that partially on tlj, because it took Kylo from conflicted and torn apart to ‘yeah, I’m in charge now’, but I still think this was not the way to do it. Anyway. I have a 2k word rant somewhere about redemption arcs and when they work and when they don’t that I never posted and this is the much, much shorter version of that

Also. Okay. One more thing on this. So I usually don’t like redemption arcs because they’re written badly, but my least favourite redemption arcs are those that end in death. The only one I can think of that actually worked was Vader’s, but it doesn’t work as well with Kylo. Why? Because redemption is about making amends, not being punished. It’s about choosing to stop doing bad shit and instead to do good things to make up for what you’ve done. In self-sacrifice, not only does it send the message that the only path to redemption is death, but also it means you do literally one thing and then die. That’s it. One good deed, die, you’re done. That’s too fucking easy. True redemption is waking up every single day, for the rest of your life, and continuing to choose to do good. You know that evil is easier, feels better; you’ve done it. But you’re making the choice to keep doing good and to make amends instead. And you do that for years. Decades, even. That is SO MUCH harder to do than just one good thing and then immediately dying without showing if that change is lasting or not. That is how redemption is achieved: in making that choice not once, but again and again and again. So yeah. I didn’t like that. Death redemptions aren’t convincing to me because one choice is easy; consistently making that choice over the rest of your life is much, much harder

End of point: if they were going to redeem Kylo, he needed to live and work to make up for his past mistakes in order to make it impactful. It’s a damn shame he didn’t

Also: having Leia die for the sake of a man, son or not? FUCK THAT. And, even worse, if we follow the movie’s logic: Leia died trying to reach and save her son. Which lead to… him dying anyway?! Which means Leia’s death is meaningless and she died for literally nothing. Fuck that. FUCK THAT. What the fuck. That’s bullshit

Again on the redemption: Kylo just… kills his good friends the KOR without a shred of hesitation? Also the KOR literally never speak? And Kylo says literally one word (‘ow’) after the redemption? I admit, it was fun watching him fight and also watching him get hurt. If I ignore the context of it, watching him crawl out of the pit, scrabbling on the ground, so hurt he can’t even stand up? Fuck. That was good shit tbh. Also those big, desperate puppy eyes. They’re even worse with him as Ben instead of Kylo. Bravo to Adam for playing such a convincing sad boy. I hate that his scar got healed though; I liked it

Now. The whole ending and the plot stuff. Rey being a palpatine is… okay. Fine. I don’t like it but whatever. Seems like an unnecessary excuse to bring him back. Also Luke and Leia knowing? How? Luke knew Rey for literally 1 day. And how would Leia know? And why not tell Rey, who was so desperate for answers to her past when they thought Palpatine was dead? It makes no sense. It’s just very unnecessary. Not to mention the line “you’re a palpatine” is not a thing any real human being would ever say, jfc that was clumsy and unrealistic dialogue. I don’t mind Rey going a bit dark for some time, but this was not the way to do it. Also I was really hoping for a resolution beyond ‘dark siders dead, light sider alive’ because the dichotomous nature of the Force MAKES NO SENSE. Balance is needed. Leaving the only Force user alive a light sider means something dark will come again for the sake of it – Rey should’ve gone grey and tbh tfa made me hope this trilogy would end with all surviving Force users grey. So that was disappointing

Now. The kiss. Straight up: I do not ship it. I don’t mind if other people do, but I do get touchy when they go out of their way to prove there’s nothing inherently problematic about it. I ship kylux; it’s problematic as hell. That’s a good part of why I like it. So I’m fine with r*ylo shippers as long as they do the same. Problem is: most don’t and go around insisting it’s actually the highest romance possible while leaning on incredibly misogynistic and racist tropes to prop up that argument rather than accept their ship has some questionable parts to it (like kyluxers do). It’s more a problem with the fandom for me than it is the ship in theory. Still, I don’t like it and that’s what matters for this

The fact of the matter is it felt extremely sudden and out of place. The entire first half of the movie is Kylo being an aggressive, creepy asshole to Rey. I can theoretically entertain the idea of Kylo having feelings for her (though I don’t), but I cannot see the other way around, not when Rey has so many kind, wonderful people around her. Which is why this feels so weird. There was not enough build to it. I saw a cam clip off reddit before I went in, so I had accepted it was happening but I expected a lot more lead up to it to make it not seem so sudden. None of that was there. There was no build up or reaching of understanding so it reads exactly like those versions of it I dislike: there is nothing wrong with a man berating you and insulting you and attacking you and you should love him for it. That is not enemies to lovers. That’s just abusive bullshit

And then the death. Both of them. Rey dies from… what exactly? It’s never shown at all. And same with Kylo. The leaks said it was Force exhaustion, which a) why? And b) that’s not clear in the damn movie. You need to explain things!!!! And also that means Leia, Luke, Kylo, and Rey all died (even if one didn’t stick) from using the Force too hard. Meanwhile Darth Maul survives getting cut in half and Palpatine survives falling down a shaft in a space station that explodes 2 minutes later (and, you know, all the wacky Force shit he did in this movie too). The fuck? It’s dumb. I hate it

Also the dyad thing was weird. I know the early leaks had it more explained, then the leaks said they cut it, but now it looks like they left in 3 lines of dialogue with it and cut the rest. Again, explanations people! This is not a thing in previous canon! Maybe in the EU, but that’s not canon anymore! The fuck!!!! The idea is dumb and forced to begin with, but the execution made it worse

And now for the final, largest criticism I have. A confession: I am not a star wars fan by nature. I’ve always liked them, but I preferred other sci-fi more. I’m more of an invasive species who forcibly carved my way into this fandom ecological niche because I really loved Kylo lmao. But if there is one thing star wars is defined by, I don’t think it’s love or family or any of those common themes people say. It’s hope. That’s the thing star wars does well. Even when things are darkest, it keeps the hope alive and it makes you feel that. Good will triumph. There is reason to believe in heroes, even when they stumble

This movie is not hopeful. Rogue One, a masterful tragedy, still manages a message of hope despite every single lead character dying. This one doesn’t. And tbh, I think tlj missed on this a bit too (a lot of talk about having hope, not a lot of showing us reasons to be hopeful), but it was still there. Tros does not feel hopeful. The Skywalkers are all dead. Rey has decided to download the legacy (why? No idea! The whole message was ‘don’t be afraid of who you are’ and she just then decided to become someone else? Makes no sense!!!). Anakin’s sacrifice meant nothing because Palpatine came back (and it is CRIMINAL we never got an Anakin and Kylo scene). Han and Leia’s and even Luke’s (a bit) deaths meant nothing because yeah, Kylo turned back in the end, but then he died anyway. They all gave their lives to save him and it was all for nothing. He’s still dead. Palpatine is gone and so is his fleet, but what about the FO fleet? Are they still out there? Are there brainwashed stormtroopers still trapped in its clutches (also, they were so close with Jannah and Finn to adding depth here, but nope, the stormtroopers are still cannon fodder in every fight scene even though they’re literally slaves!!!!)? Who knows!

This movie only feels conclusive in that so many characters we love are dead. That’s it. There’s more questions than answers and so much left unresolved. There’s no sense of hope in it. There’s barely a sense of victory. It’s not satisfying. Even the celebration at the end feels weird and like it’s trying to force you to be happy. The jedistormpilot hug was good, but the lesbian kiss was such a cheap attempt at trying to appease people calling for representation. The moment with Lando and Jannah at the end was probably the most hopeful part of the movie and neither of them are lead characters

Idk. I know this is pretty negative. But I didn’t really enjoy this movie. Some parts were fun, or funny, or exciting, or emotional. But overall? No. This was not a satisfying conclusion for any of these characters, either the new or the old. They missed. Hard. Not one character was truly done justice. And it’s disappointing. But it’s over now and I have no intentions of letting it dictate my fandom activities. I’m just going to pretend it didn’t happen and call it a day

[dontenchantme]

déjà vu

Rated T, solomon x mc.

there was something disturbingly familiar about solomon. she just wished she knew what it was.

fics masterlist

Solomon was rarely gentle.

Placing them together usually resulted in some kind of explosion – they didn’t talk to each other, preferring to let their actions speak for them. Scratching and spitting, pushing and pulling – he was neither soft nor kind, but to be fair, she wasn’t the most loving person either.

She didn’t even know how they had fallen into each other this way. It seemed like one day she had been minding her own business, trying, as usual, to sort out the mess that was the House of Lamentation – then Solomon sent her a text, asking if they could meet at Purgatory Hall.

Out of curiosity and no small amount of spite, she agreed.

He wasn’t someone she got along very well with. Something within her recoiled the very first time she saw the white-haired sorcerer – some part of her had pulled away, hissing when he approached her and introduced himself. The feeling of hatred was almost overwhelming, and even though she tried not to let it show on her face, she guessed that he could somehow sense the hostility she tried to bury deep within her chest.

From then on, he held her at a distance. He was cordial but their interactions were fleeting, practically non-existent. It made things rather awkward whenever Luke or Simeon asked her to visit and try some pastries or talk about her life in the human realm.

When she came over at his behest, the first thing she asked was what he wanted from her. She had no doubt he invited her over for a purpose – Solomon was not the type to make casual chit-chat, and she wondered how she knew that despite how little they spoke.

It was then that he caught her hand between his and she stiffened, immediately wary of his next move. Part of her wondered if he was about to confess his feelings for her, perhaps – there was an intensity in his yellow-blue eyes that she’d never seen before.

But all he asked was whether or not she hated him. And for a moment, she wasn’t too sure how to respond – with the truth? She knew that the truth was unreasonable. It didn’t make sense that she held such strong emotions for a man she barely knew.

Tell me honestly. It was this straightforward, almost demanding prompt that broke the hold on her tongue – immediately she pulled her hand away from him, hissing words filled with spite, an unconscious stream of thought that she could barely recall now, even if the rest of her memory was clear as day. She had no idea what she told him then, but she did have a vague recollection of her repeatedly saying how much she hated him.

When she was done, her chest heaving from exertion, still reeling from shock at her sudden outburst, Solomon pulled her towards him and kissed her, and at that moment she forgot about everything else – she could only think about his soft lips and how hungry he felt, how his hands roamed across her body in a way that was almost familiar, how that same rage-filled part of her welcomed his touch, desire flooding her body at his nearness.

That was the first time they fucked. She couldn’t describe their engagements in any other way – Solomon never kissed gently, never whispered words of love and affection, never held her face between his hands so he could look deep into her eyes. Never did any of the things she secretly hoped he would during sex. It wasn’t that she wanted him to be tender with her, at least not outside of the bedroom. But she craved some sort of intimacy – being with him like this felt almost hollow. Nothing like what she had been expecting when she first said yes.

There was an almost clinical precision in the way they fucked, a rigidity that contradicted the chaos and the violence – if they kissed, they bit, and they bled. They left bruises that purpled and marred the skin; his back was covered in scratches, and more than once he had yanked out a fistful of hair that he’d have to magic back into place after they were done.

She lost track of the number of injuries they inflicted upon each other, accidentally or not, in the pursuit of their pleasure – but she wouldn’t give this up for anything in the world. Not when it was the only thing that quietened the seething fury within her; not when being with him felt like both the most amazing and terrible thing, all at the same time.

He was rarely gentle. But once in a while, she’d catch him running his hands through her hair, lifting locks of it to his lips, his eyes closing. In thought? In remembrance? She wasn’t sure. There was something almost sweet about these gestures, and she might have been moved if she ever thought there was anything more between them. But she knew there wasn’t.

As things were, they were simply scratching a mutual itch. She gave as good as she received, and she doubted there was anything else Solomon might want from her.

But sometimes, she caught him staring at her with a thoughtful look on his face, and once, she swore he almost said something – that for just one moment, recognition had flickered through his eyes and she hesitated, wondering if he had an explanation for the mysterious anger that never failed to bubble up within her at the sight of him.

Then he averted his gaze, and he was back to his usual, infuriatingly placid self. She couldn’t stand how calm he always was. How he felt like the tranquil blue sky, serene without a care in the world, while she was always suffering, ripping herself apart the moment she came close to him. If she was more rational, she would have avoided him. But she wasn’t rational.

Whenever Solomon touched her, he was demanding, sometimes cruel. He’d wrap his fingers around her throat, and they hissed and spat at each other, a cacophony of pain languishing in their voices. It almost felt like he wanted to claw into her. Like he wanted to dig something out from underneath her skin and expose the raw, hot flesh that lay beneath the surface.

And she always returned his intensity, words sharp as knives falling from her lips. She’d rake her nails across his back and he never once flinched, never tried to stop her – he’d watch her with something almost like betrayal in his gaze, and she wondered who had hurt him.

She wondered what nightmares ran through his mind when he tried to sleep at night, why he didn’t like to be left alone in his room, why he’d rather put up with her insults and her jibes than to lie on an empty bed. He always came back no matter how viciously she treated him, even if tried her best to push him away in the hopes that he’d never return.

She never thought of him as a masochist, but then again, she wasn’t usually a sadist either.

One day, when they were together, her cries of pain and pleasure echoing through his room, he wound his fingers through her hair and pulled, forcing her to meet his gaze. I love you, he said, but she realised that he wasn’t looking at her. That he was looking deeper, peering into her eyes in the hopes of pulling something, perhaps even someone, out of her.

She snapped at him. There was no love lost between the two of them, or so she claimed even as her mouth searched for his, even despite the way he kissed her with the desperation of a drowning man clutching at straws. As their bodies melded, his eyes widened, and she heard his voice choke in his throat. Then his mouth opened, and a name fell from his lips.

It wasn’t hers. It was that of another woman. But something within her reacted all the same – her heart throbbed, and unexplainable emotions welled up within her. Hatred, longing, misery, desire. It was all so overwhelming, and she reached for him, clutching onto his shoulders like a lifeline.

There was relief in his gaze when her fingers dug into his skin and she screamed about how much she despised him, how she wished he would just die so that he would suffer in all the ways he deserved. It was so instinctive that for a moment, she felt like she had lost control of her body – she knew it was her hands on him, her voice ripping its way out of her throat, but the memories that flooded her mind weren’t familiar to her.

But when she started sobbing, it was as though a dam had broken – Solomon held her face between his hands, and there was something unspeakably tender about his touch.

He whispered again about how much he loved her, and she wondered why she was still so angry – why she recognised the name that had spilt from his lips, why her rage continued to churn despite his soft, gentle words. She ought to be happy that he did the exact thing she had long wanted him to do, but the thought of his hands upon her skin just made her – no, she wasn’t unhappy about it. But she was conflicted. Everything was so confusing.

When he told her that he’d been searching for centuries, that he’d spent all this time simply hoping for a chance to apologise, she stared back at him, unable to comprehend his words. There was genuine regret in his eyes. But what on earth was he talking about?

[padfootagain]

To Light Our Way (II)

Part 2: A Very Unusual Afernoon on Umber Street

Here I come again with a new chapter!! Yep, yep, yep! I'm still excited by this idea of mine!! And here we go, the reader appears, and with her, CUTENESS!!!

Right, let's go then. A little warning for mentions of warfare. Nothing thoroughly described, but be careful nonetheless if you're sensible to this theme, then skip the beginning of this chapter.

Awww, it's gonna be so cute!!!

I hope you all like it!

Gif not mine (I think I’ll use a lot of gifs from Moulin Rouge! (and possibly Young Adam as I did in the first chapter) because it’s basically the only film where Ewan wears outfits that could match the 1920s and don't look too rich. I don't feel sorry for using gifs of Christian though. Look at this cutie!!!)

Word Count: 4172

What time was it? Was it day or night? Obi-Wan had lost all notion of time. He had kept count of the flying hours the first few days, but now it was all a blur. It had been more than a weak that he and his men had been captured, of that he was certain.

Where were they? Even that they didn’t know. On the other side of the front, that was all he knew. They had been blindfolded and taken in this sort of bunker, where no window gave any sort of connection with the outside world. By his side, Cody was asleep, a large cut on the side of his face colouring his features with dry blood.

Obi-Wan was so hungry that he was nauseous. He tried to estimate when was the last time the German soldiers had given them some bread. More than a day, that was for certain. He wouldn’t have been surprised to find out it had been.

A thin ray of light came inside the room from the large keyhole and the space between the uneven stone floor and the metal door. But the light that reached in clearly came from bulbs or candles. It never faltered, or only for a few minutes, Obi-Wan had paid attention to it.

He was about to close his eyes as well, when he felt Anakin moving behind him.

"Did you hear that?"

The fifteen men focused on the sounds around them, and soon, indeed, they could hear the distant whisper of approaching voices.

"On your feet," Obi-Wan ordered. "Everyone up and against the wall."

He didn’t need to repeat himself, they were all standing against the wall of the back of the room in the blink of an eye.

He was shoulder to shoulder with Anakin and Rex. The fifteen men were terrified, but none of them had any intention to show it.

Were they going to be killed? Tortured?

The door opened wide, the warm yellow light blinding all the prisoners. From outside, the German troops turned on the light in the room as well. Only one lamp suspended to the ceiling, but it was enough to see quite clearly through the little space. Once his eyes had adapted a little more to the new light, the first thing Obi-Wan distinguished was a rather big black form moving on the other side of the room, before disappearing in a hole in the wall that would have been big enough for his to pass his hand through it. He guessed it was a rat or some rodent of the same kind. He hated rats… the mere thought made him shiver, before he focused again on the task at hand.

Obi-Wan recognized the rank on the German uniform of the two men standing in the light. A Major and a Captain.

They exchanged a few words in German, before taking a couple of steps back to let several soldiers walk inside. Their rifles pointed at the unarmed prisoners, there was no doubt the British soldiers had little choice but to wait for their jailer’s move.

The Major walked away but the Captain advanced in the room, staying with three more armed soldiers. He scanned the uniforms of the British, before his eyes settled on both Obi-Wan and Anakin. Of course, they had the higher ranks in the room.

He walked closer to them, and Obi-Wan could take a better look at his features. He was barely older than Anakin. A long scar ran across his cheek. Two brown eyes that burnt with a fire full of hate. Obi-Wan was certain that he would never forget these two elements of his unfriendly face…

He stared at Anakin and Obi-Wan for a while, before speaking with a heavy accent.

"When are reinforcements coming?"

Nor Anakin nor Obi-Wan said a word.

"We know you are waiting for reinforcement. When are they coming?"

Again, the captain was met with only silence. This time, he took a step towards Obi-Wan and punched him hard in the face. The loud cracking noise was enough to prove that his nose was broken.

Anakin and Rex both made a movement toward the German officer, but their friend held them back. It was too much of a stupid way to die…

Instead, Obi-Wan stood straighter again, not caring about the blood flooding down his face. Holding his enemy’s glance, he waited for the next strike to fall. And indeed, he was not disappointed. The punch in his stomach had him fall to his knees, all air taken away from his lungs. It took him a full minute to be able to breathe rather normally again. Anakin helped him back to his feet.

"When are reinforcements coming?"

Again, his question was answered by nothing but silence.

"We will not lose the Somme. Now, speak."

The next second, the tip of a gun was pressed against Obi-Wan's forehead.

"When?"

The security was lifted with a loud click.

Obi-Wan knew that by his side, Anakin was waiting for a sign. There would be only one chance to get out of this alive.

"No need for such uncivilized manners," Obi-Wan finally answered, pointing at the firearm pressed against his skin.

"You will give me the information I want. Or I will kill all your men one by one."

"What a lovely way to treat prisoners of war…"

"No need to play the funny one."

"Oh, just you wait," Anakin smiled. "He’s just getting started. Next he’ll make a comment on your food."

"Well, indeed, the bread was far from freshly made. The taste was terrible. I hope it doesn’t represent German food, I'm sure your country can do much better…"

"Enough. Answer the question."

"Why would I do that? You seem pretty disposed to kill us all anyway."

The officer gave Obi-Wan a cruel smile.

"I could let your men go," he offered. "You would have my word. From a Captain to a Captain."

"Don’t," Rex shook his head.

But Obi-Wan remained silent.

"What do you say?"

Obi-Wan threw a side glance at Anakin, who merely looked back at him. There was no need for words. The two men knew each other so well, they knew what the other meant.

"I think we should discuss the terms of this agreement," Obi-Wan answered.

"Nice to see that you can be reasoned."

"Captain, you can’t be serious…" Cody shook his head.

Obi-Wan turned to him, and with an intense stare, he spoke a hidden message.

"Well, fighting is not always the way. Remember the Major?"

The story of how Major Windu had escaped after being taken prisoner was well known in their trench. There was no difficulty in letting all his men know that they would have to fight their way out of this.

Just a second. Obi-Wan barely had time to turn towards the German soldiers again, and Anakin was punching a soldier and taking his rifle. Obi-Wan's fingers wrapped themselves around the gun set against his forehead and he just managed to push it enough upwards to avoid the shot. A kick in the German’s shin, and he managed to snap the firearm out of the officer’s reach. Shots started to be fired on both sides, and Obi-Wan turned the gun towards its owner. He aimed for the head too.

And then the detonation was deafening…

 --------------------------------------------------------------------

 Obi-Wan woke up in a sweat. Despite the chilly air of his apartment, he was covered with perspiration.

The blood and broken pieces of bones and torn out tissues were still carved in his eyelids as he blinked, chasing sleep from his eyes. He was out of breath and unable to calm down, adrenaline running through his veins. He sat up and rested his brow in the palms of his head. Slowly, he tried to calm down. He breathed in and out deeply. Along the years, he had found out that it was a good way to make the wave of panic pass.

So, he breathed in and out deeply through his nose, closing his eyes and trying to think about something else. The faces of his goddaughter and godson appeared before his eyes.

In….

Out…

Leia laughing.

In…

Out…

Padmé and Luke playing together.

In….

Out…

Anakin telling a story to his children.

In…

Out…

Cody and Rex playing cards and laughing.

In…

Out…

The sunrise on the Thames.

In…

Out.

His heartrate slowed down again, his breathing more regular. He blinked a couple of times, but all he could see was the darkness brought by his eyelids.

He heaved a sigh, stood up and without turning any light on, walked to his bucket of cold water. He washed the nightmare away, shivering with the cool liquid hitting his face.

A mere look by his window and the countless stars told him he should go back to bed and try to get more sleep.

Cody had managed to get him an interview for the lamplighter job. But he wouldn’t have to get up before the sun.

Would his night be clear of nightmares if he tried to sleep again though?

Instead, he turned on the light, grabbed his copy of Moby Dick, and began to read.

 ----------------------------------------------------------------------

 It was a clear day. The London sky was of a deep blue shade, with barely any clouds wandering off with the wind. At such a time of year though, a clear sky meant a more vivid cold, and Obi-Wan was soon shivering.

It had taken only four questions for Obi-Wan to be hired, as he came recommended.

Was he good at repairing things?

Had he fought during the war?

Did he have any health condition?

Was he afraid of heights?

All Obi-Wan’s answers were satisfactory, and he was soon dispatched to learn how to light up and turn off a lamppost.

He was now going through how a lamppost worked with Cody’s friend, Adam. A few technical points had to be presented, as Obi-Wan would have to make basic repairs as well if necessary. For anything that required some particular tool or skill, he would have to report the broken lamppost instead.

After a couple of hours spent at the top of a wooden ladder, examining a lamppost in the cold, Adam seemed satisfied by how much Obi-Wan had learnt.

"See? Nothing complicated," Adam smiled, his blond hair shining in the sunshine. "Actually… I know jus’ the right task for ya. There’s a broken lamppost on Umber Street. ‘Been so for a couple o’ weeks, but looks like no one was dispatched to repair it. At least, before ya! It’s fine if you can’t repair it, but try to see what’s wrong with it. Here, take me tools for today. Ya’ll get your own tomorrow."

And so, Obi-Wan was given the precise address and sent to repair a lamppost, when he had never even lightened one properly yet. But he wasn’t the kind to ever refuse a challenge.

 ----------------------------------------------------------------------

 For once you would be going home before the sun was down and night had filled up every street and alley with thick shadows. The line you worked on at the factory was to be repaired this evening, you and your colleagues could thus enjoy a little bit of sunshine for once.

The clear blue sky made you smile, the lazy cotton-like clouds drifting above the polluted London. And you felt much safer as well, walking through the poor streets of the East End in bright daylight rather than by night time. Moreover, for two weeks now the lamppost before your house had been out, and that meant walking through darkness for several minutes. You could barely find the keyhole on your front door too, the moon and starlight being far from enough to see the tiny opening. At least today, you would be spared the problem.

You left the large passage of Cable Street and aimed north towards Commercial Road to go home. You reckoned that your street was set on the edge of the East End, not so far from the richer part of the city surrounding the Tower of London. It didn’t mean that poverty was already wiped out of your street though. When children played outside, it was with empty cans, broken ropes and cheap circles of metal.

The cleaning of the slums through the East End had been going on for several decades already. With it came the taller buildings cut in tiny apartments instead of poor houses. Forgotten were the tiny backyards by now, most people lived in these buildings already, although the rehabilitation of this part of town was far from over.

After a little bit more of walking, you reached Umber Street, the sun still licking the rooftops in warm rays of sunshine that contrasted with the cold wind. You tightened your dark coat around your frame, blocking the cool air and the sensation it brought of cutting through your skin.

You walked through the street trapped in both sides by houses that were darkened by the coal coming out of the chimneys and the gas pushed out of the motors of the cars and buses. The pollution had invaded the whole town.

But as you walked closer to your eyes, a surprising scene played before you. A man was up on a tall wooden ladder, apparently repairing the broken lamppost before your home! A grin formed on your lips at the sight. First you were freed from work early, and now someone was repairing your lamppost. Without a doubt, it was a good day.

You hurried on to join the lamplighter, and waved at him from afar. He answered with a shy wave too.

"Hello!" you called as you arrived next to the lamppost, protecting your eyes from the sun with your palm as you looked up at him. "I’m so happy to finally see someone taking care of this!"

You couldn't see his features for now, the sun blinding you, and he couldn't distinguish your face either as it was mostly hidden by your hand.

"It should work fine now," he answered.

To prove his point, Obi-Wan lightened up the lamppost, smiling at you.

"See? It’s fine."

"Well, thank you so much. I mean… I usually go home from work after nightfall, and it’s so easier to go home with light in the street!"

"I can imagine."

"Would you like a cup of tea?" you bluntly asked.

"I… I don’t think I should, I’m working."

"I’m offering tea, not whiskey," you laughed. "Besides, I would really like to thank you for repairing the lamppost. It might not seem to be much, but it’ll make my life much easier."

Obi-Wan thought for a second more, but eventually shrugged his doubts away. After all, it was only a cup of tea, and he had been given the rest of the afternoon to repair the lamppost. As long as he dropped back to work before twilight, it was all fine. He wouldn't stay long anyway, and after many hours spent in the cold, he would appreciate a warm beverage.

"Thank you, then," he accepted with a nod.

He climbed down from the ladder, and you could finally take a look at his features, the sun not blinding you anymore. Dark blond locks trapped under an old cap but a few strands falling before his eyes anyway, a short beard to colour his pale cheeks and two blue eyes that had you falling into them without a hope of getting out again. You noticed the freckle on his cheekbone as well.

Why had your heart made such a leap, and why was it beating so fast now?

You couldn’t seem to move for some reason. Why were you lost in his eyes?

If you seemed dumbstruck, you were far from looking ridiculous, as Obi-Wan had the same mixture of surprise, confusion and awe painted all over his features. His lips parted slightly as he dived in your gaze, and he took in all your details, from your lopsided brown beret to the shape of your jaw and cheekbones and the curve of your lips, in only a second. For some unknown reason, he knew that he would never forget your face. He had seen it for only a moment, and yet an instant was enough to make him certain that your features were carved in his memory forever.

You remained standing on the sidewalk like this, both of you motionless, lost in the other’s gaze and your lips slightly parted. It was as if time had stopped. Your brain had frozen and you were unable to do anything but admit the simplest of truths.

He was very attractive.

And you were very beautiful.

But the feeling went beyond appearances. You could see so much of him in his eyes beyond his looks and he could already see right through your soul. And you both immediately adored what you saw then.

The spell remained unbroken until three children ran down the street, passing behind Obi-Wan while shouting, and finally pulling your attention back to the world around you.

For how long had you been staring at each other like this? A minute? An hour? A thousand years? You had no idea.

Anyway, as you finally broke eye contact, you cleared your throat and shook yourself.

"Right… so… what about that cup of tea?" you asked with a voice that sounded more hoarse than usual.

"It would be lovely."

"I’m Y/N, by the way," you added, offering him your open palm, and he hurried to shake hands with you.

"Obi-Wan. But you can call me Ben, everyone does."

You gave him a mischievous smile.

"I think I still prefer Obi-Wan though. It’s more original."

He gave you a smile that he hoped seemed humorous, but he reckoned that it looked quite stupid, and he mentally slapped himself for it.

You guided him to your apartment on the third floor and invited him inside. It was little but welcoming. Clean and warm even if you didn’t own anything of value. He smiled at the sight of branches of pink heather set on the table. The large window faced the street and the sun was set to hit it at this hour of the late afternoon.

"Would you like some sugar or milk? I’m afraid I don’t have any honey," you offered.

"No, thank you. Just tea."

He remained awkwardly standing next to the table as you reached for the teapot and cups and spoons and put some water to boil, his hands behind his back. And you couldn’t help but smile at the sight.

"You can sit down," you nodded toward a chair and he took place around your little wooden table. "So… far how long have you been working as a lamplighter?"

"It’s my first day, actually."

"Really? Well, I reckon you did well for your first day. A real professional already."

"Just wait and see what I can do in a month."

You chuckled, and the sound warmed his heart. It spread through his entire body as a warm feeling, and he didn't know how to control it, how to stop it. Why did you have such effect on him? He didn't even know you.

"What do you do? You said you came home at night," he asked.

He gave you a warm smile as he thanked you and took the cup of tea you were handing him.

"I work in a factory. Tin cans," you answered. "I leave at 8 pm, so… during the winter it’s pretty dark by then already."

"I see. For how long have you been working there?"

"Almost ten years," you answered, sitting down opposite him and taking a box of dry biscuits that you put between the two of you. "I started during the war."

"Ammunitions?"

"Aye. They hired anyone they could find at the time. Were you around during the war?"

"No, I enlisted three months after the war began. I didn't come back home before it was over."

"I’m sorry to hear that."

He raised a surprised eyebrow. That wasn’t the kind of reaction he was used to. For people like you who had never seen a battlefield, he was often praised for serving his country. From other survivors, there was a silent understanding of all the misery fighting truly meant. But now, you were looking at him with grief in your eyes.

"Why do you like so surprised? Did you enjoy it?" you asked with a frown.

Obi-Wan shook his head with a sad smile.

"No. No, I didn’t. But I'm… usually I don't get this kind of reaction for coming back alive."

"I've never found anything glorious in killing another human being."

"Me neither."

"Why did you enlist then?"

He shrugged with the intension to not reply. But for some reason, he felt like opening up to you, at least a little. He didn't know why. Another mystery that came with you, he guessed.

"My best friend wanted to fight. And everyone was going around here, actually. It was… I mean it didn't feel like I had a choice. We were called, and so we went. We didn't have a choice, really. Besides, no one really knew what war meant before actually being there."

He cleared his throat, focusing on you again. As he spoke, his gaze had seemed to be drifting back to days long gone, memories and shadows of a time that had disappeared with the sand of time.

"It was a long time ago," he smiled.

"What were you doing before rescuing lampposts then?" you asked, choosing to guide the conversation in another direction.

You took a biscuit, and he imitated you. He caught himself glancing at your left hand as you brought the biscuit to your lips. No wedding ring. He hated himself for feeling happy about it, and he pushed the thought away. He wondered if you were a widow and had a family anyway.

"I used to sell newspapers," he answered. "Done a lot of jobs before that. It's hard to get anything stable these days."

"I understand," you nodded. "I see it happen a lot around here. I hope you don't have troubles with your family. I mean… with money…"

"I… I'm not married. I don't have children. So, I only have myself to take care of."

You bit your tongue hard, feeling guilty for the rush of satisfaction that washed over you to learn about that fact...

"I hope your work pays enough for your family though," he went on. "A friend of mine works in one of the factories too and… he's not paid much for it."

"I… I'm not married either. No children either. So, I guess it's just me I have to take care of too."

"Oh, I see…"

He used to have a way with words, why was his mind completely blank now? Maybe it was because he didn't want to show how his heart was beating faster because of your answer.

He found himself ridiculous for having such thoughts to cross his mind. His life was complicated enough as it was. A crush on a stranger was the last thing he needed. He was being silly, and he needed to wake up from the reverie he had entered the second he had dived in your eyes.

So, he hurried to finish his tea in one long sip, and he gave you a polite smile.

"I really should be going," he said, standing up, his voice shaking a little for some reason. "I have to go back to work, it's almost the evening already. Thank you again… for the tea."

"Well, thank you again… for the lamppost."

You exchanged a pair of stupid smiles, both of you standing now, facing each other across your tiny wooden table, unable to move again. The same spell that had you frozen on the sidewalk seemed to be back as you stared at each other again. Would you ever see him again? London was a big town. You could spend your whole life without bumping into him again. So you took great care at making sure to remember his features. And perhaps, dozens of years from now, you would tell your grand-children about that lovely stranger that made your heart beat so fast just for the time for a cup of tea to grow cold.

He didn't have to make any effort to remember your features though. He already knew he would never forget you.

Eventually, Obi-Wan did break the moment you shared: he touched the tip of his cap as he gave you one last nod, and walked to your door.

You watched him walking down the street through your window until he was gone, his silhouette drenched in pale sunlight disappearing behind a corner. Before you would walk away from the window again your eyes settled on the lamppost before your home, and you couldn't refrain a smile at the thought that without a doubt, from now on, everytime you would see this lamppost, you would think of him.

***********************

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[jcmorgenstern]

3x14 Review

Hey so for once this is actually super positive! I loved this episode and can’t wait to gush about it! So without further ado, I’m gonna get the stuff I quibbled with outta the way before diving into what I liked:

The Bad: — I think my biggest problem overall was that scene between Alec and Lorenzo. I understand Alec was being protective and he goes into Fierce Mommy Tiger mode around those he considers family and those he loves (I think it’s important to show that Magnus isn’t just his boyfriend, Magnus has become integrated into the thing Alec bases his life around). But I had hoped Alec would have figured out by now that a Nephilim threatening to depose a Downward leader over an apartment is…..unideal, at least. — I get that this may have been designed as a plot hook as an understandable yet stupid thing Alec does that comes back to bite him later (i.e., if there is a Downward civil war in New York, and Lorenzo decides to fuck Alec over). Alec’s strength and weaknesses are tied to his family, and I think it’s a very believable mistake for him to make. I don’t expect him to be perfect, I just hope the narrative treats his threat to Lorenzo as less of a “pure uwu cutesy bf” move and more of a mistake, even if Lorenzo is being cruel to Magnus. — Honestly y’all I expected something WAY worse. Losing the apartment was nothing compared to the drama I expected—I thought Lorenzo was gonna ask Magnus to spy on Alec or go back to Asmodeus or something awful. Thankfully that was inverted by a very obvious attempt to get Magnus to move in with Alec, because apparently he can’t buy a new house with all his money. — I also quibbled a little with how Clary was written, especially in that scene where Jace comforts her (or, really, when Jace makes what happened to her about him and how angry he is and how he’s going to kill Jonathan etc. It’s a pattern with him, esp where Jonathan is involved, and I have more to say about it). Clary has always been a very temperamental, look before you leap sort of person, and I’m not sure that if she figured out Jonathan had hurt Jace she would just smile and pretend along. Clary would FREAK. This is Jocelyn’s daughter, y’all. The knives would be out. She stabbed herself to stab him before and she’d do it again. She has ALL the tools at her disposal to rune him or run away. — To be clear, I’m not shaming Clary for what she chose to do or not confronting a violently entitled dude who kidnapped her once already, I just felt the arc was artificially extended to let Jace be the hero instead of letting Clary kick Jonathan’s ass off a pier and rune him. There’s no way that bitch can swim. It seemed kind of….not how Clary would react and kind of artificially done for Jace and Jonathan’s benefit. — Last thing, which isn’t even a quibble but I feel people will be confused if it’s not on here: the Maia and Jordan thing. I’ll go into it more but basically: if they’re doing what I think, I think it worked shockingly well, but if it’s played straight yeah it’ll be Unfortunate.

The Good: — I’m just gonna come out and say this episode was AMAZING. Since this is mostly a positive review I’d like to credit the writer specifically—Zoe Broad. Honestly just the overall coherence of this episode was greater than any of the ones in S3 for me, it flowed from one scene to the other and there was no point where I had the urge to check Facebook or whatever. The dialogue was pretty good overall and truly amazing at parts, and I felt she had a pretty good handle on the characters, despite this being her first episode, which was very impressive. — I actually ENJOYED the ship content??? Clace was absolutely adorable on the rink, with Jace’s sometimes annoying bravado being played wryly both on his part and by the script. “I was born ahead of the curve” delivered with a smile and then nearly falling on his ass was. Very good. And Clary’s little “you’re doing better than me….when I was six” was equally great and I just. Really liked it? They felt like real people on a real date and it felt real and dynamic and cute. — Same with Malec’s grave-robbing date. Usually their scenes start to get weighed down by drama or just general “talking to the audience to make them happy rather than each other,” but this was just cute AND advanced the plot, and connected them back to the main storyline. I hadn’t liked how they were quarantined away from the main story and I’m glad they’re back, even if the “losing Magnus’ loft” was a weird way to do it. — Maia and Alisha particularly were really the breakout stars of the episode. Alisha really really SOLD that dialogue and was honestly incredible. Her terror and anger and desperation felt so visceral and real that even though I knew it would be resolved in the episode, it was gripping and I genuinely needed to know what happened next. — I also did like how Zoe wrote Maia (that “frickin” was TOTALLY a stand in for fuck and I APPRECIATE it) and I felt she really captured how she feels about Jordan—she does care about him as a person, or rather for the person he was at some point, but still refuses to not to push down on her own anger and hurt for his or anyone else’s sake. I felt it was really complex and confusing and emotional for her and overall I think that scene was meant to give her a sense of closure. Just because she recognizes that Jordan does care about her and can be supportive of her, doesn’t mean she’ll necessarily jump back into his arms. — That’s kind of my reading—I’m not sure where they’re going, obviously, but my instinct was that the less chill stuff Maia says (implying they may be going a romantic arc) was more due to the fact she was PANICKING IN A LOCKED CLOSET WITH A DYING DUDE. Like she says “I’m confused” like yes she meant before but honestly right then she obviously was, and I don’t really see the show going for Jordan/Maia? Especially since Todd has hinted Maia has a “don’t need no man” arc. Like she drifts apart from Simon but gets back with someone she hated for years?? Not seeing it. — However if they do go there I’ll be really disappointed, mostly because of the missed opportunity for complexity but also because yeahhhhh maybe not the chillest thing with how many people interpret their relationship as abuse. (I could make a separate post about it but yeah). — Onto Magnus. God okay I don’t know how others felt but I felt Zoe really got to the crux of why Magnus misses his magic. That how he feels connected to the world through his magic was just…such a good insight and it really impacted me because it wasn’t just some generic “magic is what makes me who I am,” it was so much more deep and personal and I felt it meant a lot that Magnus finally put that into words for Alec. He’d clearly been struggling to impart to Alec how he felt, both in terms of “how do I even explain this loss” and a his own emotional reticence. God that grave robbing scene!!!! — Umm the Morningstar sword actually being a sword to summon demons?? Kind of weird?? Esp if they play it off as an actual Morgenstern relic?? Not sure what’s happening but it was cool?? — honestly dudes I’ve been FUCKED UP about the Luke storyline and SUPER STRESSED and now IT’S ALL HAPPENIGN someone SAVE HIM oh my GOD I’m actually so stressed I’ve been stressed for 9 months FREE HIM — Ok now to Jonathan bc lbr y’all know I can’t shut up about him. Ok first off, that scene with the seelie gal, oh my FUCKING GOD I was screaming what a LOSER GHSDKLFJhghghhghgg. And she insults his shitty dialogue?? Zoe ma’am may I PROPOSE??? This keeps getting wilder and wilder I can’t believe they’re GOING THERE. THEY’RE GOING THERE SO HARD. HE’S SUCH A WILD LOSER. Can you BELIEVE he found someone off shadow world fetlife to be like “I’m a Morgenstern and I love you bro you’re so hot and clever and lovable” I just can’t. I bet you ANYTHING she tops and is only in it for the shadow hunter ass. — SHAPESHIFTING. YALL. I BUST A NUT. Look, it fixes so many fucking plot holes. His eyes look SO COOL when he does demon magic. He’s so OP and Chaotic Stupid it’s not even a joke  I Lov my Mary Sue Son. — Honestly having Jonathan impersonate Jace is so brilliant (remember when he said, “I don’t want your pity, I want your life?”) Like it is so fucked up but I love it.  Not looking forward to the mind control but maybe he just whispered “I’m a bottom” into her ear and ran off in her ensuing shock and confusion. You can’t prove me wrong until next week so until then LA LA LA LA CAN’T HEAR YOU — Personally I liked Dom’s performance as Jonathan, but not to be that Bitch I felt Will was a lot more subtle about it. Dom gave him a straight up thousand mile stare whereas Will played him as something charismatic and good at lying with a little edge of Something Wrong, a strain behind a smile. Sure, Jonathan was probably nervous for his little kidnapping date, but I felt it was unrealistic that he was so suave and convincing (sans the part where Aline comes to visit him that was hilarious, Jonathan you’re an idiot) as Seb and then is like “I eat ants sometimes” as Jace. Like. He’s an obsessive bitch. He’d have practiced Jace in the mirror. Fuck you. Probably while saying “fuck you.” ANYWAYS. — Izzy doing science? It’s not much but I’ll fucking take it lmao. I’m excited to see where Heavenly Fire is going. Matt’s Latin is still abysmal but whatever it’s ok. — also that rose?? A kiss from a rose?? Honestly this ep was so clever and thematically connected and just FLOWED like an ACTUAL EP OF TV god I’m emotional!!!! Thank you Zoe Broad ma’am you are a hero!!! — Again I’m gonna point out both Jace and Jonathan have a designated Brooding Fireplace. — Not super hyped about Heidi coming back but hey this ep was Worth It.

Anyway tldr I really liked it and wanted to spew semi-coherent positivity for once! About more characters than just my stupid fave!!! Wow!!! Good writing is SEXY and I LOVE IT!!!

[him-e]

Ships and “Endgame” in the ST

I’m curious about are how the narrative treats Rey and Kylo’s interactions in TLJ and how Rey interacts with Finn: I just wanted to hear a counter-argument on why F/innRey wouldn’t be endgame and/or Rey/Kylo would be endgame. They’re not connected necessarily: both can’t be endgame at the same time because I don’t expect Lucasfilm to depict a poly relationship any time soon, but arguing against Reylo being endgame doesn’t mean f/nnrey must be canon or vice versa. Please don’t think I’m writing this in bad faith, I’m genuinely curious about these points and I don’t mean to disrespect anyone who ships Reylo. 

Rey and Finn’s interactions in TFA and TLJ are framed very positively. The lines of dialogue between them like “Cute boyfriend?” and “You looked at me like no one ever had,” definitely point to romantic interest to me: I don’t see why the creators would include lines like that without indicating some romantic interest was there. Finn is the first person to ever “come back” for Rey, and their experiences with each other are “firsts” that are incredibly important. They care deeply about each other.

In TLJ, they are separated for the majority of it, but you could say that separation is always part of the romantic arc, and Rey is constantly thinking about him, while Finn is constantly thinking about her. Before she heads off to save Kylo, she gives Chewie an important message to Finn. (Which could have been something like “I love you” but I don’t want to assume.) When they see each other and embrace at the end of the movie, it’s the first time Rey looks *happy* in TLJ. She looks so happy when they hug, and there’s a long hold both on their embrace and at Rey’s heartbroken expression as Finn tucks  in Rose.

In contrast, the Rey and Kylo scenes could be interpreted as Rey learning her lesson about how important Kylo is to saving the galaxy: not a “Don’t Trust Your Sexuality” lesson, which I do find a misogynistic angle to take on this particular issue, but a lesson about thinking she needs Ben Solo to save the galaxy, a lesson that she doesn’t need him. Additionally, although most of their Force bonds are weighed with attraction, she never seems to be very happy with him, and at the end, he says deeply cruel things to her (The Throne Room scene) and attempts to have her killed on Crait. 

The last Force bond tells me Rey is not budging, and, per the novelization, has no compassion for him: it would be a long, long road to have her forgive him at all, let alone build some sort of romantic dynamic even though they will probably be enemies for a significant portion of IX. (Noting here that yes, they were enemies in TLJ too, but IX can’t spend a large portion of its running time devoted to intimate conversations like TLJ did: it’s the final act of this Trilogy and the Skywalker Saga, things need to start wrapping up.)

I do think that Kylo Ren’s redemption is somewhat necessary to keep the story of the Skywalker family from seeming like a complete tragedy: it would be a pessimistic ending, in my view, if the takeaway from the ST was “Sometimes, your loved one can’t be saved, and so other people must rise to the occasion,” for the Skywalker family. But, even if I think redemption is incoming, I’m still not convinced that Kylo could be with Rey. There’s audience reaction to consider (cue the cries of people asking just how this villain is worthy of the hero), but also the narrative beforehand: although Rey seemed willing to forgive Kylo completely for a part of TLJ, the audience still remembers scenes like the interrogation (a violation of Rey and something that robs her of agency, even though she does defeat Kylo), the Snow Fight, the Throne Room, and Crait. They did tone down some of his actions in the interrogation, like touching her, supposedly, but I still feel like Kylo is an unambiguous villain in those scenes, his treatment of Rey is awful (and this is just about his behavior, not whether Rey fights him off) and then, after showing us some of his humanity in TLJ, he snaps back to being a villain, and hurting Rey, intentional or not.

In TFA, Kylo is very much an aggressor/pursuer of Rey and her triumph is in fighting him off; in TLJ, he seems like more of a tempter figure, and Rey’s triumph is not giving into his offer and finding value in herself. She doesn’t ever seem happy with him, and the narrative never shows us a scene of complete fulfillment when she’s with Kylo: he never gives her anything she didn’t have, where Finn does in TFA by going back for her. (The scene where they touch hands, especially considering the music and the fact that Luke Skywalker is the one walking in on them, could also be read as an ominous one where Rey is getting too close to the dark.)

I don’t deny that Reylo was extremely “shippy” in TLJ. But Rian Johnson, in the same interview when he said that Kylo’s perspective in the throne room was a “naked, emotional appeal” also said: “It was important to me that it wasn’t a chess game, it wasn’t just a manipulation. It’s unhealthy, and there’s much that is awful about the way that he is manipulative. From his point of view, it’s a very naked, open, emotional appeal.” So he does acknowledge that Kylo is being unhealthy and manipulative, and that’s the writer’s intent. Rey’s arc in TLJ is very much fit to a naive hero’s arc, where she trusts the wrong person and sees the error of her ways. It doesn’t mean that Kylo is irredeemable and can never be trusted again, but TLJ also doesn’t mean that Kylo and Rey should be together, and includes quite a few scenes that could be read as red flags on his end, signals to the audience that this is a bad man who doesn’t have Rey’s best interests at heart.

And then there’s the next film, which is more opinion/conjecture on my part, but I don’t think JJ Abrams is the kind of storyteller who’s interested in depicting a big epic romance as the finale of the Skywalker Trilogy, or interested in involving Rey in the Skywalker Redemption question. Han and Leia care about Ben in TFA, Rey only views him as an enemy; and when she does try redeeming him in TLJ, the answer to her attempt is a solid “No.” JJ is a Better Trevorrow to me, in some ways, where he’s good at spectacle and big, bombastic movies, and although he isn’t openly misogynistic, his movies do have some sexist pitfalls. The “Reylo” arc is on a knife’s edge as it is, and already perceived as abusive and glorifying of a villain who hurts the heroine by many people: how would he be able to execute it in such a way that the audience wouldn’t be outraged at the injustice of Kylo Ren not only getting redeemed, but “getting the girl” so to speak? (I totally think the idea of Rey as a prize is repulsive, but unfortunately the majority of people do still perceive heroines or love interests who are female this way.)

Rey not needing Kylo, and being able to ascend to heroism without him, was the end point of TLJ, and I think it would undermine that ending if in IX she did turn out to need him after all and they had to work together or she had to forgive him. The movies so far have explicitly showed that while they’re attracted to each other, he’s a toxic person who isn’t good for her. And if it is going to be romantic going forward, why would it have an “endgame” type ending? And then there’s the option of Rey being alone romantically, but still surrounded by friends, allies, and people who care about her.

And on a separate note, I just feel like there are far too many “romance” cues for F/innRey for that to not have been planned from the beginning. In TFA, those “boyfriend” lines weren’t essential, they could have been taken out without affecting the friendly-rapport feeling in their relationship. In TLJ, they didn’t have to juxtapose Rey being in tears facing Kylo to happily embracing Finn upon being reunited with him. And while there is the factor of Rose kissing Finn, they never entered into a deliberate romantic relationship or showed that the feelings were mutual: I feel like FinnRose isn’t essential to the next movie if they dismissed it, since so much of Finn and Rose’s arc could be read as them being friends or compatriots. There’s really no cues of romance until she kisses him.

I’m sorry this is much longer than I anticipated, but these are the things that have been nagging me for the past few months. I did really enjoy TLJ, and I do like Reylo and apologize if my comments came off like I was trashing the ship for no reason, but this is my honest reading of the text. I have a lot of respect for your meta and wanted to bring up these points: if you don’t want to respond to this, I’m sorry for depicting a negative opinion and wasting your time.

Don’t worry, I don’t think you wrote this in bad faith! That’s one hell of an essay, and I want to thank you for taking the time to write it and submit it to my blog. The two main arguments you’re making are a) that reylo is real but is depicted negatively and so it’s unlikely to be endgame, and b) that f/nnrey can still happen and be endgame because the romantic hints dropped in TFA must go somewhere and it makes Rey happy (forgive me for the simplification). I’ll try to address some key points.

The movies so far have explicitly showed that while they’re attracted to each other, he’s a toxic person who isn’t good for her

I don’t think that’s what the movies showed. He’s not a toxic person to Rey (Daisy Ridley has gone on record saying Kylo “nurtured” Rey in a way that even Luke couldn’t do)—he’s someone whose political affiliation and morals and ideologies can’t be reconciled with Rey’s, and THAT’S why Rey dumps him. Because he doesn’t stop firing on the Resistance fleet and instead asks her to essentially become a villainess at his side, because he’s still hellbent on being the leader of a despotic military organization, that’s why the narrative separated them at the end of TLJ, not because he’s “toxic” or “abusive”.

even if I think redemption is incoming, I’m still not convinced that Kylo could be with Rey. There’s audience reaction to consider (cue the cries of people asking just how this villain is worthy of the hero), but also the narrative beforehand: although Rey seemed willing to forgive Kylo completely for a part of TLJ, the audience still remembers scenes like the interrogation (a violation of Rey and something that robs her of agency, even though she does defeat Kylo), the Snow Fight, the Throne Room, and Crait. They did tone down some of his actions in the interrogation, like touching her, supposedly, but I still feel like Kylo is an unambiguous villain in those scenes, his treatment of Rey is awful (and this is just about his behavior, not whether Rey fights him off) and then, after showing us some of his humanity in TLJ, he snaps back to being a villain, and hurting Rey, intentional or not. 

So it actually all boils down to the audience’s reaction, doesn’t it? He’s too much of a villain so let’s not make reylo happen or the audience won’t accept it. But what the narrative is depicting—intentionally—is a hero/villain romance. The villain being a villain and yes, doing villain things including trying to hurt the hero (and viceversa, the hero doing hero things and trying to stop, violently, the villain) is exactly what defines this sort of pairings. Part of the audience will love it, part won’t, but a narrative that is afraid of pissing off a part of the audience isn’t a strong narrative.

I’m also not sure what would be the point of redeeming Kylo but still having him portrayed as a toxic individual whom the heroine should stay the fuck away from. Does this sound like an epic closure to a trilogy of trilogies whose thematic pillars have always been hope and redemption? To me it just sounds like a moralistic tale trying to half assedly appeal to tumblr discourse.

The “Reylo” arc is on a knife’s edge as it is, and already perceived as abusive and glorifying of a villain who hurts the heroine by many people: how would he be able to execute it in such a way that the audience wouldn’t be outraged at the injustice of Kylo Ren not only getting redeemed, but “getting the girl” so to speak? (I totally think the idea of Rey as a prize is repulsive, but unfortunately the majority of people do still perceive heroines or love interests who are female this way.)

You’re talking as if the audience is a hivemind and universally agrees with the intra-fandom, white-feminist, tumblr-specific “Reylo is abusive” wank. But the majority of the audience is actually moderately fine with Reylo, and most of them will be overwhelmingly okay with it if IX has something that tops the praetorian guard fight in terms of iconic jedi/sith marriage alliance. A good 80% of the general target audience for SW is people who don’t engage with fandom the way we do, they couldn’t care less about reylo or f/nnrey or any other ships for that matter, they just want to see a good story and be entertained for three hours and pew pew space battles. The people who will be “outraged” if Kylo “gets the girl” are only a tiny niche if you consider the star wars audience as a whole.

Also, it isn’t Kylo getting the girl. It’s Rey getting the boy. TLJ made sure to put her perspective front and center—it’s she who pursues Kylo, she who catches him in a state of undress, she who gets the eye candy, she who ruminates on his backstory while also delving deep into her own. It’s her point of view, her feelings, her attraction, her choices, while Kylo remains relatively passive for most of the time, waiting for her (to show up in a force connection, to come to the Supremacy, to take his hand). 

The scene where they touch hands, especially considering the music and the fact that Luke Skywalker is the one walking in on them, could also be read as an ominous one where Rey is getting too close to the dark

oh, no. No, no, no. :)) The Force theme plays during the hand touch. (the /ominous/ music you hear before is actually some notes from Kylo’s theme, iirc). And the point of Luke’s arc in TLJ was that he was wrong about Ben, wrong about trying to murder him, and especially wrong about going into exile for years, and after this scene he finally decides to face his demons. He’s not the wise mentor whose perspective can be trusted. His perspective is as flawed as everyone else’s. And he is actually the one who is depicted in an ominous way in that scene (barging in, hand raised to destroy the hut in a gesture that reminds intentionally of what Ben did the night he destroyed the jedi academy).

And at no point Rey got too close to the dark. She only got close to Kylo. She was never tempted by power, or knowledge, or violence, or any of the traditional pitfalls of the dark side. Her only instinct was to help, and save someone from himself. If compassion and love are a path to the dark side, then we should rewrite the Sith code, lol. No, Luke was wrong, he learned his lesson, and by the end of the movie he went to face Kylo Ren fully knowing that he wouldn’t be the one who’d turn the monster back into a man this time, but that someone else could.

Rey not needing Kylo, and being able to ascend to heroism without him, was the end point of TLJ, and I think it would undermine that ending if in IX she did turn out to need him after all and they had to work together or she had to forgive him.

It’s not about “needing”, or “having to”. It’s about wanting. Rey not needing Kylo (and likewise Kylo not needing Rey) is something I’m thankful TLJ established, because it actually lays the basis for the healthiest kind of relationship, the one where you love someone without depending (materially or emotionally) on them. This puts all the emphasis on personal choice, rather than necessity, and I think fits extremely well with the main themes of this trilogy. Rey realizing that she doesn’t need Kylo was beautiful and I’m sure the narrative won’t backtrack on it, but I still think she’s going to be with him in the end, not because she “has to”, or “can’t live without him”, but because she wants to.

And I think this doesn’t undermine Rey’s agency at all, on the contrary, it elevates it.

Re: the proposal speech being manipulative but also genuine according to Rian, please refer to this and this. 

Re: Rey being “unhappy” with him, uhm. I see this argument tossed around all the time and it annoys me big time. Right, she was SO unhappy that she ditched Luke to run to Kylo and try to save him as soon as she got a Force flashforward of his being at her side. What an ugly vision she must have seen, right? Careful not to confuse “raw emotions for an enemy whose pain resonates deeply with mine, as I’m also fighting a war” with “unhappiness”. Rey wasn’t unhappy in TLJ anymore than she was in TFA—she just stopped pretending to be fine, as she met someone who made her dig under the surface of her plucky heroine facade and confront her own demons and feelings of abandonment, and who brought his own demons and feelings of abandonment to the table, which Rey felt intensely for.

Happiness, conversely, isn’t always a sign and guarantee of romantic love, and the idea that love always makes you feel happy is generalizing and shallow, especially when it’s more about looking happy than anything. “She looks so happy when they hug”. Uh. So? I have a best friend who is truly the only person in the world who can put a smile on my face when I’m feeling down and who I can be completely myself with, and I would even say she’s the MOST important person in my world aside from my own family, and YET, I’m not in love with her. Nor should I try to be in order to stop suffering or be generically “happy”. Friendship is friendship, and love is love: both are equally important but they’re not the same, and they fulfill different needs. (mind, this is not me dissing friends-to-lovers tropes, which I like a lot, or saying that friendship can never evolve into romantic love, just that the kind of comfort and happiness true friendship offers isn’t necessarily the best basis for a romance, especially when there aren’t any obvious signs of romantic/sexual attraction.)

Speaking of which, and moving to the pro-f/rey part of your submission… I think most of the confusion re: f/nnrey being “obviously” romantic in TFA comes from the assumption that an “endgame” relationship needs to be portrayed as unambiguously positive since the start. Yes, Finn and Rey’s interactions in TFA were overwhelmingly positive—almost too positive, which in mainstream fiction doesn’t bode well for romance. Central romances, especially of the “epic” kind, are generally bumpy (or downright antagonistic) at first. And by “at first” I don’t mean the first five minutes of interactions, as in f/nnrey’s case: I mean at least the first act of the story. Translated into the context of a movie trilogy—it amounts to the first movie, give or take.

I just feel like there are far too many “romance” cues for F/innRey for that to not have been planned from the beginning. In TFA, those “boyfriend” lines weren’t essential, they could have been taken out without affecting the friendly-rapport feeling in their relationship. In TLJ, they didn’t have to juxtapose Rey being in tears facing Kylo to happily embracing Finn upon being reunited with him. And while there is the factor of Rose kissing Finn, they never entered into a deliberate romantic relationship or showed that the feelings were mutual: I feel like FinnRose isn’t essential to the next movie if they dismissed it, since so much of Finn and Rose’s arc could be read as them being friends or compatriots. There’s really no cues of romance until she kisses him.

funny how you’re saying that f/nnrey had “too many” romance cues not to have been planned from the get go in the same breath as you also argue that finnrose isn’t irrevocably romantic and could be easily dismissed in IX. Finn and Rose have a complete romantic arc in TLJ. Complete with a kiss. Whereas Finn and Rey only have a “boyfriend” line (which could be very well foreshadowing of Rey getting a “boyfriend” in TLJ, which she did, lol) and everything else is about deeply caring for each other and being each other’s first real friend (she looked at him like no one ever had, he came back for her when nobody would). Friendship tropes, I’ll concede, can sometimes be confused with romantic tropes, but why do the tropes used in TFA f/nnrey speak of romance more clearly than what Finn and Rose had in TLJ?

My opinion: they don’t. And if it seems to you like they do, it’s probably because you want them to see that way. Which is okay, as long as you’re aware of your bias. What really tips the scale from “could be romantic” to “oh no it’s definitely romantic” is the usage of textual, unequivocal romantic tropes and situations like Rose kissing Finn on the lips against a beautiful beaming ray of light or, well, Rey accidentally walking on a half naked Kylo and being very confused. 

Those are facts, not hints.

And this isn’t Game of Thrones with its three hundred parallel storylines and red herrings or a 14 seasons-long CW teen drama, it’s a three-movie space opera that needs to be as closely knit and narratively solid as possible, it can’t afford doing a back and forth between romantic storylines, which at this point (following your logic) would be THREE, and two of them should be dismissed or ended badly in the last movie for the third to be endgame.

The main couples of this trilogy as established by TLJ are Finnrose and Reylo. F/nnrey having any sort of romantic development at this point would only confuse the audience and unnecessarily complicate the narrative, which is already complex enough as it is. 

In TLJ, [Finn and Rey] are separated for the majority of it, but you could say that separation is always part of the romantic arc

Not for the entire second act of a trilogy, the one where (statistically in the SW movies) the pairing makes the leap from platonic (or antagonistic) to romantic. 

and Rey is constantly thinking about him, while Finn is constantly thinking about her. 

…were they? I mean, they probably were and it’s fine to headcanon it that way, but we weren’t actually shown any of it on screen (it was just handwaved at, with Rey trying to make contact with Finn, and Finn trying to leave to find Rey in the beginning) and this is important, storywise. It means that their dynamic is already established; the narrative trusts the audience to remember that they’re friends, they care about each other, they have an unbreakable sibling-like bond à la Luke and Leia, and there’s no need to remind us that they care about each other or introduce new developments in their relationship, which was fully formed by the end of TFA already.

Before she heads off to save Kylo, she gives Chewie an important message to Finn. (Which could have been something like “I love you” but I don’t want to assume.)

Again, it’s fine if you want to headcanon it that way, but one half of the pairing having the revelation that she loves the other offscreen (and no payoff for that at the end of the movie) is a really bizarre way to establish an endgame romantic pairing, if you ask me.

Re: the residual “romantic” cues in finn/rey—I think, if there were any (which in itself is debatable, but still), it’s probably because the finnreylo dynamic was originally conceived (by JJ) as some sort of lowkey love triangle, and then scrapped (still by JJ) in favor of a completely platonic bond on the f/nnrey side. Thankfully, Rian threw any possibility of a wacky love triangle out of the window by introducing Rose and letting Finn have his OWN romantic storyline rather than being reduced to a third wheel or cannon fodder to some stupid romantic conflict for reylo (which has no shortage of conflict on its own anyway, lol).

You also make it sound it deceptively easy to dismiss Finnrose as some sort of failed experiment or brief but ultimately irrelevant digression in the path that leads to the f/rey romance. It’s not. Rose is an important character, whose feelings matter, and she’s EXPLICITLY, textually in love with Finn. There’s no way to work around this fact or pretend it didn’t happen or argue that they’ll magically turn into platonic coworkers or *compatriots* (?). Finn’s feelings might be less clear but that’s why we still have a whole movie to go. But they already kissed, which as I said is far more definitive storywise than a line about a cute boyfriend or a kiss on the forehead.

Finally,

it would be a long, long road to have [Rey] forgive [Kylo] at all, let alone build some sort of romantic dynamic even though they will probably be enemies for a significant portion of IX. 

It wouldn’t be a long, long road to have her forgive him, it would be a very short and simple road, because TLJ already did the bulk of the work in this sense, and made Rey deeply care for Kylo and, even more importantly, understand where his rage and hurt come from. The romantic dynamic is already established, it only needs to come to fruition, which is incredibly easy to make it happen since (to your admission too) they’re doing Bendeption anyway. To be frank, Kylo only needs to choose to ditch the First Order and maybe make ONE selfless act to redeem himself, even in Rey’s eyes, especially in Rey’s eyes. Nothing he did on Crait was worse than what he did on Starkiller (his body count is even shorter!), and it took Rey approximately 5 days to believe in his inherent goodness. I don’t think she’s changed her mind on that. I think she knows he isn’t in the right place to change his views yet, and is fully ready to fight him if need come, but she also doesn’t hate him, as the novelization also confirms (whereas, post tfa, she thought she did).

yes, they were enemies in TLJ too, but IX can’t spend a large portion of its running time devoted to intimate conversations like TLJ did: it’s the final act of this Trilogy and the Skywalker Saga, things need to start wrapping up.

Actually, it can. TLJ did it and managed to have TWO other full fledged storylines (including another romantic arc) running parallel to the reylo one, an identity/redemption arc for Luke AND an epic climatic battle in the end. 2 hours and 45 minutes are a LONG time to develop a dynamic to its fulfillment. And what other loose ends or main conflicts does this trilogy have to resolve yet, other than Ben’s relationship with Rey (and reconciliation with Leia, hopefully)? The only reason you think IX can’t spend time on reylo is because you don’t see it as a crucial part of this trilogy. But it is.

TL;DR; in my opinion f/rey doesn’t have enough set up to be the endgame romance (not even considering TFA alone), and with Rose’s introduction they kind of sealed the deal. Having Finn and Rey be involved in romantic threads with two other main characters only to undo those threads and put them together in the end actually requires more work (narrative-wise) than letting their respective romantic storylines evolve to their natural conclusion in IX. Pre-TLJ I said that both f/rey and reylo can be “canon”, and both are, the former as a friendship (the most important one in this trilogy) and the latter as a romance. I just don’t think they’ll be both romantic in the end. There’s potential in that to explore in fanfiction (just like there was potential in, say, Luke/Leia or Obi Wan/Padmé or even O/bikin), but it’s an extremely unlikely (and messy) direction to go for the canon story.

Hope this clarifies my opinion on the issues you raised, and that I didn’t sound too dismissive of your points. If so I apologize in advance.

[itslvca-blog]

introducing,

waddup, peeps ?? this tiny bean goes by the name of rue ( she/her ) and i’ll be playing soft boy™, luca rosario. he’s pretty much a new faceclaim for me with an old character’s background. however, francisco has recently become my forever fave, therefore i’m so excited to have the opportunity to play him !! if you would like to hmu for plots / scream about connections all day long, please give this a like and i’ll come wiggling into your ims ( or discord; find me at justrue#2233 ) shortly after. under the cut, you’ll find a brief summary about luca and his life. also all my wcs are listed over here if you wanna check that out as well. his stats can be found here too. can’t wait to start interacting !!

+ disclaimer: very slight talks of cancer and mental health are below. read at your discretion.

layer one: the stats.

name. luca leonardo rosario.

alias. people usually just call him by luca but sometimes luke, luki, or leo make an appearance.

title. over time, he has proudly deemed himself an obsessive pizza addict, artistic nutcase, or one of the missing dead poets society members.

name meaning. his true significance of his name means a bringer of light.

age. eighteen years old.

gender identity. cis-male.

pronouns. he/him.

sexual orientation. predominately panromantic demisexual. it isn’t so much so that luca is completely disinterested in sex (he’s got a perfectly good libido, thank you very much), he just doesn’t find himself sexually attracted to people based on physical appearance or initial impressions. instead he finds personality, intellect, and existing emotional attachment considerably more compelling. the idea of intimacy with somebody he’s not close with rather repulses him.

current residence. boston, massachusetts.

religion. he was raised roman catholic but converted to spiritual agnosticism when he was fifteen. he views that universal ethics and love are far more important than claims about any deity and trivialize the arguments supporting or rejecting such claims. to luca, it doesn’t matter which religion someone might follow, nor does it matter whether or not someone believes in god. what matters is what someone does, not what they believe. he has his parents’ full support in his switch even though the rest of his family practices catholism.

spoken languages. portuguese  (fluent/main), english (fluent/2nd main), french and polish (still learning but can understand it quite well).

education. currently a senior at houghton academy.

layer two: the story.

- so this is my baby boy, luca rosario and i love him sm ?? he usually goes by luca, but on occasion people call him either luke, luki, or leo. but he doesn’t care what people call him as long as it’s kind.

- luca was born in san paulo, brazil to both loving and supportive parents named jeremi and mariana. he lived there until he was six years old when his family moved to boston because his parents, who are both marine biologists, were located for work.

- his parents had him when they were both young.

- luca was also born out of wedlock, so by the time his parents decided to marry two years after he was born, his parents had already made the decision to give him his mother’s maiden name even though his father’s surname is polish.

- growing up, he had and still does, have a great relationship with his parents. with his childhood consisting nothing more than love and devotion from his parents, luca had nothing to complain about. his parents loved him dearly, whose pure heart and open-mindedness they helped to cultivate. they encouraged luca’s belief in extraordinary things and hoped he had carried it throughout his life growing up. his parents had always made him promise to have courage and be kind to others, for—as they explained to him—kindness has power, and that they would see him through all the trials that life could offer, in life and death.

- cancer/mental illness tw: when he was thirteen, his mother had been diagnosed with cervical cancer. upon hearing the news, luca’s whole world clasped. not only was he at a pivotal stage in his life where everything was changing and becoming more stressful ( becoming a teenager, starting high school, going through puberty ), one of the most important people in his life had be claimed by the deadly disease altogether. so many thoughts and feelings were going through his mind at the time, that he ran himself physically sick and had experienced his first panic attack. he has since been medically diagnosed with panic disorder. thankfully the cells on his mother’s cervix were diagnosed at precancerous stage and the doctors were able to treat it because it developed and spread. however, that didn’t and doesn’t stop luca from being in a constantly state of panic every time his mother so much as feels pain or coughs due to irrelevant reasons. the entire year had changed him and his family for a while.

- he has brother, who is three years younger than him, named tomás. his relationship with his brother, however, is a bit estranged. as much as he loves his brother and wishes they could see eye-to-eye, sometimes they have a tendency to butt heads often. whether that might mean your typical sibling arguments or full-on blown out fights, they just can’t seem to see get along. sometimes people believe they aren’t actually related or that they’re half siblings because when his brother was born, he took their father’s last name.

- most people would describe luca as the benevolent. despite being in a world where there’s hatred and suffering, luca declares himself independent and strong-willed by remaining kind-hearted and self-loving, not allowing the bitterness surrounding his life to overtake him and morph him into someone as cruel as the world seems to be every day. he makes the most of his life by remaining optimistic of the possibilities of a brighter future. but besides that, he’s also witty and sarcastic. he is unafraid to stand up for himself when he feels he’s in the right–or at least, attempt to do so. and although he strives to contain his optimism aura, he can fall into fits of frustration and annoyance quite often.

- he’s also super quiet and shy. he loves to make friends but because of his quiet complex, he usually has trouble speaking up and making his voice heard. he tends to become flustered a lot too when he can’t express his emotions; which he has trouble doing anyway when he’s not flustered.

- luca is capable of enduing tremendous hardship. though he may not handle difficulty in the healthiest or best way, often repressing emotion, he mostly like emerges on the other side. he doesn’t know how to express his emotions in a diplomatic way, but rather fumbles it all up and starts to ramble. rarely opens up because of this.

- to put it plan and simple luca is an art ho. luca always loved anything artistic. even when he was little, he would go around with his disposable camera and take pictures of everything and then take to paper to draw of all the things he had taken pictures of as well.

- he’s like a hippie dippy child of the universe. no joke. no seriously, his place at home is full of sensual shit and art. it’s getting out of hand and somebody needs stop him soon.

- he strongly believes that art is an umbrella term that relates to expressing of oneself ( not just through photography and painting ) and that everyone has the freedom to express themselves however they please. because of his beliefs, he chooses to break gender roles like bread and wears whatever the fuck he wants because yolo.

-  his appearance pretty much represents his hippie dippy lifestyle with him wearing all sorts of cute hipster shit. he’s clothes are v flow-y but don’t let that fool you. he doesn’t miss the opportunity to represent his upper-middle class within his style, so he does dress to impress, let me tell you ( he’s a fashion ho too ). his hair color changes sometimes too depending on his mood but it’s generally never too eccentric.

[ohlvca-blog]

INTRODUCING,

» francisco lachowski & twenty-two & cismale.「 after checking isabella’s diary, we saw luca rosario show up many times. apparently, he is a fashion photographer that isabella called her mutual friend. she mentions that they can be compassionate yet naive, and our background check says luca has lived here one month. if we move fast, we might catch them at the photo lab. 」

waddup, peeps ?? this tiny bean goes by the name of rue ( she/her ) and i’ll be playing Soft Boy™, luca rosario. he’s pretty much a new faceclaim for me with an old character’s background. however, francisco has recently become my forever Fave, therefore i’m so excited to have the opportunity to play him !! if you would like to hmu for plots / scream about connections all day long, please give this a LIKE and i’ll come wiggling into your ims ( or discord; find me at justrue#2233 ) shortly after. under the cut, you’ll find a brief summary about luca and his life. also all my wcs are listed over HERE if you wanna check that out as well. can’t wait to start interacting !! 

+ disclaimer: very slight talks of cancer and mental health are below. read at your discretion.

LAYER ONE: THE STATS.

NAME. luca leonardo rosario. he was born out of wedlock, so he took his mother’s name at birth even though his father’s surname is polish.

ALIAS. people usually just call him by luca but sometimes luke, luki, or leo make an appearance.

TITLE. over time, he has proudly deemed himself an obsessive pizza addict, artistic nutcase, or one of the missing dead poets society members.

NAME MEANING. his true significance of his name means a bringer of light.

AGE. twenty-two years old.

GENDER IDENTITY. cis-male.

PRONOUNS. he/him.

SEXUAL ORIENTATION. predominately panromantic demisexual. it isn’t so much so that luca is completely disinterested in sex (he’s got a perfectly good libido, thank you very much), he just doesn’t find himself sexually attracted to people based on physical appearance or initial impressions. instead he finds personality, intellect, and existing emotional attachment considerably more compelling. the idea of intimacy with somebody he’s not close with rather repulses him.

CURRENT RESIDENCE. he currently lives in venice, california but he travels quite often for his job, so residency usually fluctuates depending on how long he stays there. 

BIRTHPLACE. san paulo, brazil.

NATIONALITY. brazilian.

ETHNICITY. half portuguese and german on mother side, half polish on father side.

RELIGION. he was raised roman catholic but converted to spiritual agnosticism when he was eighteen. he views that universal ethics and love are far more important than claims about any deity and trivialize the arguments supporting or rejecting such claims. to luca, it doesn’t matter which religion someone might follow, nor does it matter whether or not someone believes in God. what matters is what someone does, not what they believe. he has his parents’ full support in his switch even though the rest of his family practices catholism.

SPOKEN LANGUAGES. portuguese (fluent/main), english (fluent/2nd main), french (still learning but can understand it quite well).

EDUCATION. graduated with the bachelor of fine arts in photography and painting at the school of visual arts in nyc.

PROFESSION. he works as a full-time fashion/commercial photographer. meaning, he works with different agencies such as fashion magazines, building, modeling, landscapes, etc. he’s also usually on location and travels a lot for his career.

LAYER TWO: THE STORY.

- so this is my baby boy, luca rosario and i love him sm ?? he usually goes by luca, but on occasion people call him either luke, luki, or leo. but he doesn’t care what people call him as long as it’s kind.

- luca was born in san paulo, brazil to both loving and supportive parents named jeremi and mariana. he lived there until he was six years old when his family moved to maryland because his parents, who are both marine biologists, were relocated for work.

- his parents had him when they were both young, making his parents both twenty-two when he was born. 

- luca was also born out of wedlock, so by the time his parents decided to marry two years later, his parents had already made the decision to give him his mother’s maiden name even though his father’s last name is polish.

- growing up, he had and still does, have a great relationship with his parents. with his childhood consisting nothing more than love and devotion from his parents, luca had nothing to complain about. his parents loved him dearly, whose pure heart and open-mindedness they helped to cultivate. they encouraged luca’s belief in extraordinary things and hoped he had carried it throughout his life growing up. his parents had always made him promise to have courage and be kind to others, for—as they explained to him—kindness has power, and that they would see him through all the trials that life could offer, in life and death.

- cancer/mental illness tw: when he was thirteen, his mother had been diagnosed with cervical cancer. upon hearing the news, luca’s whole world clasped. not only was he at a pivotal stage in his life where everything was changing and becoming more stressful ( becoming a teenager, starting high school, going through puberty ), one of the most important people in his life had be claimed by the deadly disease altogether. so many thoughts and feelings were going through his mind at the time, that he ran himself physically sick and had experienced his first panic attack. he has since been medically diagnosed with panic disorder. thankfully the cells on his mother’s cervix were diagnosed at precancerous stage and the doctors were able to treat it because it developed and spread. however, that didn’t and doesn’t stop luca from being in a constantly state of panic every time his mother so much as feels pain or coughs due to irrelevant reasons. the entire year had changed him and his family for a while.

- he has brother, who is three years younger than him, named tomás. his relationship with his brother, however, is a bit estranged. as much as he loves his brother and wishes they could see eye-to-eye, sometimes they have a tendency to butt heads often. whether that might mean your typical sibling arguments or full-on blown out fights, they just can’t seem to see get along. sometimes people believe they aren’t actually related or that they’re half siblings because when his brother was born, he took their father’s last name.

- most people would describe luca as the benevolent. despite being in a world where there’s hatred and suffering, luca declares himself independent and strong-willed by remaining kind-hearted and self-loving, not allowing the bitterness surrounding his life to overtake him and morph him into someone as cruel as the world seems to be every day. he makes the most of his life by remaining optimistic of the possibilities of a brighter future. but besides that, he’s also witty and sarcastic. he is unafraid to stand up for himself when he feels he’s in the right–or at least, attempt to do so. and although he strives to contain his optimism aura, he can fall into fits of frustration and annoyance quite often.

- he’s also super quiet and shy. he loves to make friends but because of his quiet complex, he usually has trouble speaking up and making his voice heard. he tends to become flustered a lot too when he can’t express his emotions; which he has trouble doing anyway when he’s not flustered.

- luca is capable of enduing tremendous hardship. though he may not handle difficulty in the healthiest or best way, often repressing emotion, he mostly like emerges on the other side. he doesn’t know how to express his emotions in a diplomatic way, but rather fumbles it all up and starts to ramble. rarely opens up because of this.

- to put it plan and simple luca is an art ho. he even went to university for it too ( the audacity of it all smh ). luca always loved anything artistic. even when he was little, he would go around with his disposable camera and take pictures of everything and then take to paper to draw of all the things he had taken pictures of as well. 

- he’s like a hippie dippy child of the universe. no joke. no seriously, his place at home is full of sensual shit and art. it’s getting out of hand and somebody needs stop him soon.

- he strongly believes that art is an umbrella term that relates to expressing of oneself ( not just through photography and painting ) and that everyone has the freedom to express themselves however they please. because of his beliefs, he chooses to break gender roles like bread and wears whatever the fuck he wants because yolo.

-  his appearance pretty much represents his hippie dippy lifestyle with him wearing all sorts of cute hipster shit. he’s clothes are v flow-y but don’t let that fool you. he doesn’t miss the opportunity to represent his upper-middle class within his style, so he does dress to impress, let me tell you ( he’s a fashion ho too ). his hair color changes sometimes too depending on his mood but it’s generally never too eccentric.

- when he turned seventeen, luca decided he wanted to go to college after high school. so he applied to an arts school in new york and graduated at twenty-one with two degrees in photography and painting.

- for about a year after graduating, he took some time to create his own freelance business while also looking for jobs in the commercial and industrial world of photography. about a three months ago, a fashion agency, settled in california, had contacted him about loving the work he had done in his freelance business and offered him a job as their full-time photographer. of course he accepted the job and moved out to venice, california. he’s been there for a whole month and hasn’t looked back since.

- upon hearing the news of isabella souza’s murder and also being a suspect in the case, luca’s kind of been on edge since. granted, he never knew isabella all that well, considering he met her through a mutual friend of theirs about as long as he’s lived in venice and became rather decent friends because of it. but to know someone killed her, freaks him out. he never met someone who has been a victim of a homicide case before and frankly, he doesn’t know how to act since the news broke.

[perfectackeracy]

Eren and the titan trio

Comparisons between the titan trio and the Shiganshina trio are relatively common, mostly because they’re following the simple pattern of the leader, the other guy and the girl.

It even goes as far as comparing them in merch, 

Posters from Bessatsu Shonen July (left) and August (right), comparing the Shiganshina trio and the warrior trio

Of course, the only thing they have in common is the trio structure. Their common background, their relationship as well as the roles they fulfill, are too different. In fact, you can’t even compare each member to each other considering they overlap several traits proper to another trio member.

What I found interesting however, is how each warrior was an obstacle to overcome for Eren. As people who legitimately inherited the power of the titans, Eren defeating each one of them, alongside people’s help, helps in his growth as a character. These warriors serve both as parallels and complete opposites, due to them being Eren’s enemy while giving him the impression they were on his side. When the masks fell down, Eren had to overcome a reality he had to face and consider them as enemies he had to defeat in order to advance.

Isayama defined how he should conceive the rival of the protagonist:

Isayama: My editor Bakku-san [Note: Shintaro Kawakubo on Twitter] used to ask me “Who is the rival of the protagonist?” To be honest, I didn’t think about that question very much until Bakku-san sought for an answer. In the movie “Star Wars,“ the protagonist Luke has an rival in antagonist Darth Vader, a counterpart of Luke’s self-image - and he must not turn into Darth Vader. After Luke overcomes many struggles, the story just ends there. In Shingeki no Kyojin, Eren also has something he needs to overcome. It used to be characters like Annie, or his own dark side as he keeps in mind to avoid. However, in the current storyline, there is no such obstacle for him to conquer. As the manga progresses, I want to draw the process in which Eren discovers the existence he needs to overcome. [Source] - @suniuz

A rival is a person Eren should never become. Which is why you’ll find opposite traits in each of the warriors, but also a part of Eren in each one of them.

The comparisons are below the cut!

Eren and Annie

Annie comparing Eren to her dad - Ch. 17

Starting with the first defeated shifter and the most detached of the trio, Annie was the one who taught Eren her martial art, allowing him to stand a chance against Reiner in his titan form for the future battles.

Eren and Annie started to develop this relationship as master-disciple when Eren showed an interest in Annie’s moves. For Annie, teaching these moves to Eren was a sort of escapism from the reality of her mission: practicing her moves on that “suicidal blockhead” who wants to exterminate titans. Annie uses these moves to defend herself and defeat bigger opponents coming at her in one hit. Eren wants to learn those moves to fight and win.

What Annie noticed when she saw Eren’s personality flashing is how much he’s going to want to go against the flow.

Annie calling Eren special - Ch. 31

In this chapter, she notices how similar Eren and Marlowe are, because their mindset are the same: people have to walk in their direction to do what they think is right, while others just follow depending of the strength of the current. This is how Annie differs compared to Eren she doesn’t do what she does because she wants to. She isn’t motivated by revenge or moving forward for the sake of moving forward.  

As she stated herself in chapter 96: she doesn’t care about the titles Marley or Paradis could give her as a soldier or as a warrior. She only fights for their sake because she felt like she was pulled by the leash, so to speak. Despite that, she admits upfront to her fellow warriors and fellow soldiers she just wants to save her skin and calls herself selfish and evil for being “regular” in Marlowe’s point of view. While she does have her goals about finding her father again, she couldn’t protest further against Reiner’s pleas for the mission to continue, or her getting rid of Marco’s 3DMG, because in the end she still belongs to a camp.

Meanwhile, she shares common traits with Eren, such as their tendencies to let their limbs speak instead of their mouths. While Annie feels like Eren is more special than her, what she doesn’t know is that he doesn’t have any particular goal in life. Eren was very good at bluffing when it came to why he was different to people like Jean, but the fact is he lacks interest. 

Isayama’s highschool AU comes to mind. Especially on the fake preview for vol. 22: Annie and Eren stand aside from other students, who are socializing. Eren is depicted in this AU as a normie without goals or interests, and latest fake previews show he really isn’t interested by the nerds’ offer. Annie is a bad girl, an outcast, in a rebellious period. The difference is Annie being happy staying apart of the social ladder, while Eren wants to wreck it.

While Annie appears cold and doesn’t do well in teams and considers herself “bad”, she sometimes gets caught into acts of kindness such as watching over other trainees, who are her enemies. On the other hand, Eren doesn’t hesitate to dehumanize his enemies or sees them better once dead.

“The world... Is a cruel place.” - Ch. 32

When Eren learned about Annie’s real identity, he was met with complete disbelief and denial of reality. Until that point, he really thought humanity was some sort of monolith, but the revelation of enemies infiltrating the ranks lead him to question his belief of the world: how could a girl he was sparring with be responsible of the downfall of the SL and the Humanity? Amusingly enough, the moment where he was acting his doubts aside fits the period where Annie stopped the soldier recreation and decided to end it at once, which resulted in Eren rejecting a comrade and up for other betrayals while Annie sealed her fate in that crystal.

Eventually, they held a common upbringing: fathers detached from reality who use their progeny as a means for their glory. Unlike Grisha, Annie’s father realized his mistake, too late, and wants Annie to come back to consider her as “Annie” and not “Honorary Marleyan warrior”.

Interestingly enough, he doesn’t hold Annie as accountable as Reiner and Bertolt because she hasn’t hurt him personally. When Eren thinks about the attack of Shiganshina, the memories of the Colossal and the Armored come back in mind. It helps on the other side Annie was unconscious by the time Reiner reached the top of the wall.

Eren and Bertolt

Bertolt praising Eren - Ch. 16

The second one is less obvious because Bertolt’s motivations and background is unknown, though you could easily guess why he was in the warrior program.

Since parts of Bertolt’s background wasn’t revealed and since Eren always confronted him through Reiner, this one is going to be quicker. 

I think Bertolt might be the one of the trio who opposes Eren the most in terms of personalities: while  Eren doesn’t have any outstanding talent but wants to persevere in his direction, the multitalented Bertolt is meek, obedient and feels powerless to change things. The other difference is, while Eren sees his enemies as targets he must destroy, Bertolt hold respect for them. Their opinion of the other side is quite telling.

Bertolt also doesn’t take pleasure in killing so many people when Wall Maria fell or during the battle of Shiganshina, but saw it as necessary. Eren on the other hand, needs to kill his enemies or else he feels empty, whether they are necessary or not.

The opposition also lie in their respective roles and views: Eren -and Grisha as well- holds a romantic vision of the SC where they are those people who are brave enough to face the dangers of the external world instead of being confined in a cage. Bertolt’s role as the Colossal Titan and the mascot of the series, works as the strongest of the titans, power-wise, and is considered as the God of Destruction. In an old interview, Isayama stated he got influenced by Paradise Lost, in which Satan (the SC) opposed God’s rule (the Colossal Titan and its power). Considering Isayama modeled Bertolt after the Colossal’s appearance, you could interpret this piece of evidence as Bertolt opposing Eren, especially in the freedom vs. rule thematic.

Eren defeating Bertolt - Ch. 82

Notice this is probably one of the rarest moments when Eren defeats his opponent under his human form. Compared to every single opponent, the only ones he defeated in that form are random titans at Utgard, Dina and Bertolt. Bertolt was defeated that way because no normal human or titan can reach his nape, unless they’re equipped with the 3DMG. I assume Eren used all his gas to reach his nape with Armin finished distracting him. The other reason why Bertolt failed was him acting out of pity for an opponent who made believe it was a last struggle. By taking pity of Armin, Bertolt didn’t notice the titan dummy.

The other comparison, probably common to the titan trio, is their compassion towards their enemies, whereas the 104th was... mostly moved by Armin coming back rather than Bertolt being fed.

The titan trio reacting to Marco’s death vs. the 104th reacting to Bertolt’s death - Ch. 77 & 84

And that’s how you find irony in Bertolt’s death. While he had respect for his old enemies, he ended up being treated like a sack of meat.

Which leaves to the last one of the titan trio.

Eren and Reiner

Reiner teaching the responsibility of a soldier to Eren - Ch. 17

I saved the best for the last because people love comparing the two of them.

Since Reiner and Eren both hold the status of protagonist to some extent, people started comparing them. Their background is clear enough to draw some differences and common points, and would take a whole post. I’ll focus on their difference as characters and their aspirations.

Comparison between Eren and Reiner - Ch. 94

The two boys look radically different from these juxtaposed panels alone: whereas Reiner had his set of projects from the start, motivated by his desire to make his mother happy, Eren just wanted something exciting to happen so he could direct his feelings towards something or someone, in this case, titans, for barring him the road to freedom.

The two of them share an ambition which pushes them forward: Eren must move or else he feels empty. Reiner must go forward because he wants to become a hero. The two of them have been hit by reality several times. Eren by the revelations about their world, which prompted him to direct his anger at some sort of big boss, while Reiner’s ideal dreams have been shattered even before he approached the walls.

Anger and revenge are the only thing that keeps Eren’s spirit up. He almost gave up in the Reiss cave because he was nothing special, when he praised Historia for being awesome. When he learned the truth about the world, he was caught in despair, but that hidden conversation between Grisha and Frieda must have sparkled his desire of anger again, just like when Armin showed him that book. In the end, he walked in the same path as Grisha, which is the opposite of what Carla wanted.

By the time Reiner reached the walls, he couldn’t allow himself to disappoint his mother. During his time inside the walls, he lost himself as a person, muddying his own goals, from an honorary Marlean to a soldier protecting the walls. I suspect the latter not only emerged from the guilt for the fall of Wall Maria, but also from the affection his comrades gave him. Reiner gets his status based on the opinion of others while Eren lets his current frustration take the action. By the time we reach the current arc, Reiner has so far lost his initial goal and his friends. His former motivations gone, all there’s left is trauma and depression, when people need him to carry his duty till the succession ceremony.

There’s also the famous highschool AU used previously, with Eren the normie and Reiner the jock. The initial description of the school life there was published in ANSWERS:

In a nutshell, people who are good in sports are much more popular than those who are not. People are discriminated against if they are bad in sports. At Wall High, the football club, which was believed to be established by the “Pioneer Titan” 100 years ago, is absolutely popular. There are even people who claims that “You are not human if you do not belong to the Football club”. To Eren the Wannabe, Reiner in the football club is the person he wants to exterminate the most!

That description basically summarizes, in terms of nature, that Eren and Reiner are opposites. In a modern AU, Reiner would be the model student aiming for a big career, while Eren is just that guy who’s just graduating for the sake of graduating. In canon, the desire for Eren to destroy Reiner is further amplified by him working for the opposite camp.

Eren being disgusted by Reiner (Ch. 43) and swearing to make him and Bertolt pay (Ch. 46)

After Reiner revealed himself to be the Armored Titan, Eren was so disappointed in him and cursed him afterwards. After chapter 50, he still retained the desire to make his enemies pay. Character Guidebook and the finale of the second season of the anime also put the emphasis on him “destroying Reiner”.

And if Eren is indeed that amputee guy…

Ch. 93

…Well that can’t be good for Reiner, can it?

Basically, if I should make a simple comparison, I’d imagine the two of them sitting in a sofa, watching a cop series. Reiner would admire the protagonist because he’s noble and respected; Eren would become the protagonist to take the gun and finish the bad guy off.

On top of everything, one has the Attacker, the other is made for defense.

As a future perspective, I’d say the list of Eren’s rivals isn’t only limited to the titan trio, but also to Zeke, his own brother and probably Armin in the future. I’ll elaborate on this topic later.

[minaminokyoko]

The Last Jedi (A Spoilertastic Review)

So I stayed off Twitter for almost ten straight days and I reduced my Facebook usage by about 80% in the last 48-hours in order to avoid spoilers for The Last Jedi, as I was spoiled for Han Solo's death in The Force Awakens literal days before attending its premiere years ago. Was it worth staying off social media to stay unspoiled and unbiased?

Eh. I dunno.

So I'm now hearing, as I return to social media, that some fans hate the movie. Color me shocked. (That's sarcasm, if you can't tell--we really do need a font for that.) There is a large chunk of the Star Wars fandom that contains some of the nastiest, pettiest, most immature hypocrites on the planet earth, and I can see those same fans hating this movie. Well, maybe I can help balance the scales.

To be frank, I'm not a Star Wars fan. I saw the originals as a kid and liked them okay, I hated the prequels and I still think they have zero justification and do not stand up to even the slightest film criticism or storytelling criticism at all, and I liked The Force Awakens quite a lot. For me, The Force Awakens finally gave me a reason to personally invest in the Star Wars franchise. Don't get me wrong--as a kid and a teen, I liked Han and Leia. I liked the setting of the original trilogy and the memorable stories and performances and dialogue. However, Luke was, well, this is an unavoidable pun, a lukewarm character for me. I didn't really care about him and I didn't understand him from a personal standpoint, so while I enjoyed the story, I just didn't take anything away from it. Force Awakens introduced me to an ostracized girl who had a miserable existence who always felt like she was waiting for something to happen to give her life meaning, and a terrified slave/survivor who defected in order to run away from something he feared but he instead found a reason to stay and fight. Plus, adding in the fact that Finn is awkward and likable and now I am emotionally invested in the new main leads of the franchise.

Sadly, though, The Last Jedi falls short in most of the aspects that made me like Force Awakens. Keep in mind, it's still an enjoyable film, but it most definitely suffers from Middle Movie Syndrome, where there's a lot of wheel-spinning because they need action set pieces, but in the end, what happens doesn't really change much about the characters or their motivations. Allow me to explain below. Naturally, spoiler alert.

Overall Grade: B-/C+

Pros:

-Creative scenarios. I like the film's creativity in terms of the scenery. The Force Awakens lived in the shadow of the original films. It was a very strict sort of format in order to make the older fans feel at home and to bring the new fans into the franchise at the same stepping off point. However, this film was able to stretch out a bit and not feel as bound by the same look and feel of the original trilogy. I know a lot of fans bitched about that with Force Awakens, and I think it was a semi-legit complaint, but I felt it was mostly the studio being cautious and trying not to piss off such a massive number of fans. Here, the scenery feels new and fresh, from the casino to the large part of the plot taking place on unfamiliar planets or with the rebels in space.

-I'm not going to sit here and lie--Oscar Isaac finally got to me a little bit in this one. Don't get me wrong, I liked Poe but I noticed Isaac amassing a legion of fangirls and was mystified as to why. Poe was a good character and Isaac's a good actor. Then when I saw Poe getting passionate about the rebellion, I admit I started to swoon a bit. There's just something about the way that he cares, how he makes the war feel that much more personal, and his relationship with Leia that floats my skirt up quite a bit. I like that he is hardheaded and impulsive, but he still feels like his own man. At first, I was worried he'd be our Han Solo replacement, but they drifted away from that idea. He's a very enjoyable character and I give a damn about him. I like that he grew this time, that he was able to recognize that he can't make every mission a suicide mission because the rebels have limited numbers and every man is precious. That's cool. I can dig it. Nice work, Mr. Isaac.

-I enjoyed seeing Finn take another step towards becoming a more stable rebel. He was still naive and brash, but he gave it his all and he was ready to make the ultimate sacrifice in order to do what he felt was right. I appreciate the hell out of that and I'm glad they didn't kill him. I threw my hands up in the theater because I like him a lot and I thought they were going to do the dumb thing and waste him. Phew. Bullet dodged, for now at least.

-I enjoyed seeing Yoda pop back up. Granted, he took his sweet ass time, but that was a nice surprise for me. I thought it was very touching to see him again, and well timed since Frank Oz is on the older side and we don't know how much longer we'll get to enjoy him.

-The Luke and Leia forehead kiss almost made me cry. Fuck. God. It was eerily appropriate as our goodbye to the amazing Carrie Fisher. I miss her terribly and seeing them reunite for the last time genuinely tugged at my heart strings.

-I liked the idea of Luke wavering when he found out Darth Temper Tantrum--excuse me, Kylo Ren slash Ben Solo--and being faced with a terrible choice. I like that Kylo's interpretation of danger is what screwed everything up and made him run away. It's a simple misunderstanding on a grand scale that is important to both of them and it's about the only thing that I think works about Kylo Ren's character. We'll discuss more about him in the Cons section, though. I like it because it's reminiscent of something I love from The Dresden Files series, where Karrin Murphy and Harry Dresden are talking about the fact that some people become monsters because you treat them like monsters. The possibility that maybe he wouldn't have turned if Luke hadn't gone there to stop him is great motivation to cut yourself off forever and feel that you deserve to die alone with the last of the Jedi kind.

-Luke's projecting power at the end was a nice aversion to being slain by the whiny git Kylo Ren. I'm still angry he dies anyway, because what the fuck was the point if you still killed him off, but that was a cool power that I don't recall seeing before and it made Luke seem even more badass than I ever thought possible. Nice work, Luke.

-We'll discuss my problem with Ren's fake redemption arc momentarily, but I did like the scene where he kills Snoke. That was a nifty idea and I like that Snoke's smug ass didn't see it coming. He was so convinced he knew everything and that manipulating Ren and Rey would give him what he wanted, but it didn't and that's a satisfying story element in a movie that kind of botches most of its pay off.

-I liked the Purple Haired Lady (sorry, I didn't catch her name, I have a bad memory) light-speeding right through the fucking Empire ship. That was a badass way to go. Now, granted, I still think it's pretty ridiculous that all the main characters managed to survive a catastrophic event like that no problem, but it was still cool as hell.

-Rey's a nobody. Called it. I love that she didn't have super special plot relevant parents. They were just scumbag assholes, much like Yondu's parents in Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2. Thanks for disproving all the nonsensical fan theories. I knew she wouldn't be Luke or Leia's bloodline, but I like it even better than her parents don't even get names or anything. That's baller storytelling.

-Leia surviving the cruiser explosion. What. A. Badass. Motherfucker.

Cons:

-The biggest problem I have with the Last Jedi is Kylo Ren's fake redemption arc. Look, I get what they were going for. It's reminiscent of what happened to Zuko in the amazing Avatar: The Last Airbender series, and that to date is still the best redemption arc I have ever seen with my own two eyes. That's possibly why this one fell so flat for me. The set up for Kylo Ren is relatively solid. He was raised by heroes of the rebellion and so it was expected of him to become something great, and Luke training him sounds like a great bit of backstory as well. However, by not showing us details, Ren's redemption arc rings hollow as hell. Let me explain. They never showed us the details of the darkness that was apparently building in Ren. What is it driven by? Is it just a feeling? Was he just dangerous and unwilling to listen to Luke while he was in training? You can't just give such a blanket statement without reasoning or showing the actual backstory itself where we see what made him someone Luke thought would kill or massacre the innocent. I think the movie should have had a flashback segment of Luke and Ren's training days where we see that, yes, the kid was powerful but he had no restraint and he was arrogant and cruel or at the very least, unfeeling. Most of the time when you have that type of character, it's one of those traits that leads to evil. He thinks he's above the law or above reproach because of his power, or in Ren's case, it could have been because of his parentage. That was a huge missed opportunity. Maybe he was just a spoiled brat from being the son of two war heroes and the nephew of one of the greatest Jedi of all time. But we get none of that. We just get that he was a bad apple and Luke panicked and his panic made Ren run away. But that brings me to the next part that doesn't work in this film. Okay, so you think your uncle tried to kill you. Why did you immediately decide to join up with the fucking Space Nazis? How does that work for your desires? We don't know why Ren joined up. It's one thing to abandon your family out of anger and shame, but the Empire literally slaughters billions of innocent lives on a daily basis. We don't know why Ren said yes to them because we haven't been told personal details about him. Why did he blame Han and Leia? It's totally backwards. He should have gone to them and told them what Luke did, and there should have been repercussions. Maybe they didn't believe him and that's why he ran off, but the film doesn't tell us any of these things that would help us understand him more. Then, the final nail is the idea that Kylo murdered the other young Jedi, murdered Han, tried to murder Leia, and has been in the company of genocidal maniacs for years, and yet the film wants me to believe he can be saved. Nah, bruh. You gone. You been gone. You're not gonna flash your puppy dog eyes at me and think I want you to come to the light side. You stood by and watched billions of people die and yet Rey's big blues make you change your mind, but only for your own ambition? Fuck off. That entire thing fell to shambles for me. I like the idea of Rey and Ren having a connection because they are both alone and unsure of themselves, but this was not the way to do it. Ren's actions are beyond irredeemable. They were irredeemable the second he killed Han. Han didn't do shit to that snot-nosed punk bitch. He was his father and he wasn't the one who turned on him, it was Luke, so frankly, Ren can fuck off the edge of my non-existent dick, and I don't like that the movie swept all his indiscretions under the table to say maybe there was still good in him. He's a selfish bastard and that's that.

-Implying that Rey would turn to the Dark side fell flat on its face as well. She had no reason to turn. The movie played with the fact that she was alone, but that still doesn't work. She's not alone. She has Finn and the rebels. Sure, none of them would be able to understand the Jedi aspect of her personality, but it's still stupid for them to act like she would just be magically okay with the genocidal maniacs who slaughtered everything in the galaxy. It was weird, too, because Ren says something to the effect of "I saw you turn" and that doesn't happen, so was he lying to manipulate her or did the movie drop the subplot altogether? There was never a moment that I doubted her. I knew she had a pure heart because of what we've seen from her before. All we knew is that she was simply scared and alone. None of that translated to her joining the fucking Space Nazis, so why did they even pursue it? I think this could have been done better if instead of Ren killing Han (but to be fair, it's all Harrison Ford's goddamn fault, if he didn't hate Han, then this idea could have worked) we saw Ren and Rey starting to understand each other BEFORE he killed Han. Love is a strong motivator for if you want to have this idea of Rey possibly wavering from the light. I sure as fuck don't ship Reylo and I think it's gross, but if you rewrote the movie so that she and Ren bonded in the first film rather than him simply terrorizing her, then sure, the second film where she feels a connection with him and wants to rule at his side because she loves him now makes sense. The idea is similar to something from my urban fantasy series that I wrote, where the villain has no plans of ever turning good, but he has a soft spot for the leading lady and he doesn't want so much to turn her as make her his so he can be with her, and she doesn't so much want to turn him good as she recognizes that there is something inside him that calls to her. This is one of the only cases where I think a canon romance would have made more sense than whatever we got in the film itself. I could see Rey doubting herself if she fell in love with Ren. The starcrossed lovers angle is much stronger and much more believable than just "Rey doesn't know who she is and she thinks maybe she can bring Ren back to the light."

-I didn't like Finn and Rey being apart for the entire film. I think their friendship was easily the best and strongest thing about the Force Awakens. Both of them had strong motivations to do what they did and it made sense for them to both care so deeply for each other because they crashed into each other's lives and saved each other. They work better side by side, not in separate storylines. Their friendship was charming and adorable and this film really should have used it.

-If you add everything up, Finn's entire mission was pointless. The stand-in commander already had a plan and so everything Poe, Rose, and Finn did was pointless in the end. That sucks. You wasted their time and the audience's time, and that's what I meant when I said this movie has Middle Movie Syndrome. It feels like they just needed to find something for Finn, Rose, and Poe to do and so they just threw them this B Plot that is entirely useless and that's a huge disservice to them as characters.

-Rose is pretty forgettable. That's not knocking the actress playing her. It's just she's sort of a tool to the story and they really should have given her a better role with better stakes. I also don't like the shoehorned "love" line. It was a good line for the rebellion, but not for those two characters. I don't buy Rose falling for Finn. Finn's awesome, but they didn't go through nearly enough and didn't bond at all during their journey, so that "love" line is awkward and unwanted to me.

-Luke's death. Look, the fucking movie is called The Last Jedi, but did you really have to fake us out only to kill him anyway? That was fucking lame. What would have made it go down easier is if Luke had known when we first see him again that he was on his last legs. Build up his final days. Have him be old and tired and coughing constantly or knowing by the Force that he's reached the last moments of his lifetime, and that's why finally spurs him on to help the rebels once again after he meets Rey. Don't spring it on us. It didn't have a good impact because it just felt obligatory because it's the future franchise and we have to have our original three protagonists all bow out for the new kids on the block. I wanted a more touching death scene for him, even though I liked Han and Leia more from the original films. It just felt like a waste of a great legend for him to die out of nowhere. I actually thought from that shot that he saw an Empire ship firing at the island to kill him and I sort of like that more, as it would have been a good sucker punch (and we did hear Snoke mention that before he died) so I think this was yet another missed opportunity.

-Though the entire movie focuses on Rey, I feel like it told me less about her than the first film did. I like that she's a nobody. That's good. That's strong. That's interesting. But I don't like that she didn't really bond with Luke and I don't feel as if she learned a single damn thing on that island aside from maybe Ren was starting to falter, but in the end all he did was kill Snoke and assume command. He didn't turn back to the light, so why was there all this focus on him that took away from her? I was excited for the film because I thought Luke would come around and train her the way Yoda trained him. That would reveal more of her abilities and her strengths and weaknesses, but we didn't get much of that at all and it's not fair to her. She has so much potential, but it felt squandered to me.

-The goddamn Porgs. Look, Disney, I know you gotta sell toys, but I haven't seen such a transparent fucking commercial for toys since Olaf from Frozen. Jesus H. Christ. They literally just keep popping up on screen like a goddamn commercial. It's so obnoxious. They are not that cute. They're just gerbils with duck feet. I think Star Wars fans overreacted about the Ewoks, but if they all hate the Porgs, sure, I'll light a torch to march in that parade. Stop that. I'm watching a movie, for God's sake, not a toy commercial.

-I'm not really sure where things are heading with where it ends here. It just seems sort of vague and undefined, and as if we didn't get much accomplished in the long run. Very wheelspin-y.

-There’s a million plotholes and plot contrivances. I can’t be bothered to count them all, so a year from now when CinemaSins does a video, then I’ll post a link, Just know there are a lot of plotholes this time around.

Bottom line: if the neckbeards are out here hating the movie, cry me a fucking river. It is in no way that bad. The prequels are still by far the worst movies in the franchise. I think The Last Jedi is simply misguided. It brings up great questions, but then doesn't answer or address most of them. It introduces too many ideas without flushing them out and making you connect on a personal level the way The Force Awakens did. It's mainly just that the goals are unclear and so are the characters. I think it's still possible to get the franchise back on track with the final film. I certainly don't think this movie is bad by any stretch. I just feel that it missed its target. Maybe they'll hit it next time.