#though to be fair that's most people bc after college i really was just so stuck and i didn't wanna make the effort with anyone

[remnants]

thots about tommy wayne under the cut 👇🏾😚👍🏾

ok so in my head he's not from gotham lol (my guy is east coast mean, which is pretty mean, but not gotham mean which translates to being the sweetest guy on earth once you’re within the city limits). he's the illegitimate and son of patrick wayne and his daddy wouldn't claim him bc the affair/one-night-stand/whatever-you-wanna-call-it happened while he was very much married (fuck this guy fr!) and his wife was very much pregnant (oh brother this guy STINKS!!!). anywayyyy elizabeth mitchell isn’t stupid and knows a fight she can't win when she sees one so she leaves gotham for new york when the test comes back positive and patrick won’t pick up her calls.

and things are going good! she's made a little name for herself as a local nightclub singer and she's got a job waiting tables during the day that makes good money and sure things were a little touch and go for a while and sure there were times where she was sure that they weren't gonna make it but she got her baby through school (he graduated valedictorian btw) and now he's in the first year of his pre med undergraduate degree at the local university on a full scholarship (her parenting HER parenting).

so imagine her surprise when the billionaire deadbeat of the hour shows up on her doorstep one day talking about family duty and lines of succession.

patrick amadeus wayne jr. is dead. dead dead dead. and while it wasn't really a surprise to anyone with eyes (weak lungs can only take so many wet gotham winters and the tabloids were saying that the cough he sported at the latest gala sounded particularly nasty), he was by all appearances an only child (francesca wayne could barely get pj out let alone carry another baby to term) and the waynes were fumbling for someone to take his place before the body was even cold.

the transition is as rough as you would expect, what with the stony silences from his father’s wife (stepmother? who knows, not that either of them would ever acknowledge the relation) whenever they cross paths in the manor (francesca wayne never makes an outside appearance in gotham society again after the passing of her son. she enters a period of seclusion and never emerges, spending her days wandering the halls in mourning blacks and lighting candles in prayer), and sometimes being called patrick or pj by the gotham upper class (intentionally or not. though he suspects intentionally because his mother’s side of the family got the monopoly on his looks). it’s very obvious that he doesn’t fit in but hey, free college is free college and his mama is gonna be set for life if he can just see this through.

of course the whole thing doesn’t go over well (a long lost father suddenly appearing on your doorstep and claiming you only because his other kid died would put most people off to be completely fair) but after some yelling and screaming and haggling, compromises are made. in exchange for thomas moving to gotham and being prepped to take over as head of wayne enterprises, his mother is also to be put up in a fancy brownstone on the upper east side and given enough in allowance (in addition to the 18 years of child support she never got) so that she never has to work again and thomas is to be allowed to continue his studies, graduate medical school (in gotham and not at john hopkins like he planned. rip it was literally his dream school), and become a doctor (i like to think becoming a doctor was solely a thomas wayne endeavor. all the wayne men before him were men of business and trade but tommy has wanted to help people his entire life and he’ll be damned if he lets his father keep him from following his dreams). there’s a handshake and signatures signed on a drawn-up contract (because patrick wayne doesn’t do anything by halves and of course he brought the family lawyer to meet his son after 19 years of pretending he didn’t exist) and thomas goes from a two-bedroom apartment in hell’s kitchen to a bedroom the same size (and then some) right outside of gotham city.

and he does see it through, very well in fact! thomas wayne graduates top of his class in undergrad at gotham university as well as in medical school, is granted a residency at gotham general, and eventually becomes the head of surgery. Along the way, he meets a girl named martha, gets married, and has a beautiful baby boy named bruce (after his maternal grandfather ofc) and the rest is history!

[possibilistfanfiction]

What are your domestic headcanons for Bea and Ava in your surgeons AU? And how did Ava realise that they are not cis? And how/when did Beatrice realise she wanted top surgery?

these are great questions i will now come up with answers to bc they're mostly vague in my mind before the actual timeline starts! lmfao

a domestic thing -- ava is obviously, like, incredibly gifted at charming people anywhere, at any time, doing anything. i think bea is a little terrified at first when she starts bringing ava to stuff — trivia night, the climbing gym, even just over to mary + shannon's for dinner — that everyone will immediately love ava way more. or, even worse, that bea will suddenly be expected to be the same kind of charming, to love attention in the same way, to laugh as quickly. but it's not like that at all, obviously: everyone is Delighted by ava & also delighted by bea — quietly, in a way that's still comfortable & happy for her. at the climbing gym ava tried adaptive climbing, like, one time & was like 'no ty lol', but he still loves to come & watch. bea is... quite serious, but ava isn't, so in like ten minutes ava's made friends w all of the people bea enjoys climbing with. the next time bea comes to climb, no one expects anything differently from her, but they ask after ava, a few of the boys tease her for having such a cool, hot partner (fondly, & she loves it), they invite ava out with them for beers saturday. i think they open up each other's worlds in different ways but the crux of it is the same. love them! as @princington said 'they're so tangible' & like they rly are

another domestic thing -- bea can't cook. she's abysmal at it, even after cooking classes. she tries to cook for ava One Time & it truly is so inedible ava just kisses her & orders pizza. she can make eggs, barely, & that's about it. ava tells her they're the best eggs, though

last domestic thing -- they're a big slipper household. at first ava thought it was kinda cute that bea was partial to a nice pair of teva slippers (also, of course, had to tease her) but the second ava tries them he's like oh fuck yah, i get it. needless to say, as he justifies bc of his difficult circulation system but rly just for fun, he gets... a Lot of slippers lol. also bea steals all of ava’s beanies. it’s only fair

in the context of this au, i don't think ava's ever rly been sold on being cis lol. even as a little kid before the accident, ava was happy to just play & imagine & sing & dance. their mom never forced them to Be A Girl, & ava didn't mind, really, when they were in the orphanage, but it never felt like it truly fit. not in a dysphoric way, but just that it was limiting. ava's body was confusing, was hard to come to terms with in that it wasn't the same anymore, they couldn't feel all the things they used to love. so when they finally had the opportunity to like go Be Queer, be in community, her world Opened Up in the most beautiful way. ava LOVES the playfulness & expansion of gender & the body, the control she has over not having to fit in a box. the world is so, so big & so, so lovely, & u know ava also HATES colonized ideas of anything lol, so it just makes sense. in undergrad they had some good trans buddies but also like... drag? LOVE. so it's rly fun for ava, especially with good people

hmm i think bea probably wanted top surgery from day 1 of puberty on but didn't realize until late in college. after a lot of reassurance from her friends that she didn't have to be a Trans Man to want to try a binder, she did, & p much that first night she knew bc she just felt so much better, like her body made sense & she could just relax. idk if bea ever rly feels gender euphoria but she does feel a lot of peace & so that's cool. probably she tells cam first, maybe lilith & cam together, that she wants surgery. by that time they're already in med school & also... they both know lol & so they're rly happy for her & they make her lots of snacks & take care of her afterward. lilith keeps her out of the gym for months even tho bea complains that she's bored & will be so out of shape, cam makes a bunch of food frequently. they're a little family & it's a rly joyful, quiet, happy time; she feels very lucky

[moonlit-escape]

oh, go on, tell us about ur oc!!!

(✧ ▽ ✧) i thought you'd never ask,,, well, i'll tell you all about Aktis first !!

✧ okay so he has two versions, his og mystreet version and his pdh version. i'll do mystreet first

✧ some general info: he is fair-skinned, rather tall, fairly well built (yet kinda skinny) with short honey blonde hair, hazel eyes, and light pink glasses!

✧ arms are covered in cute, colorful little doodle tattoos (some of them he designed himself!)

✧ usually wears plaid trousers with some kind of chain (usually colorful, always cute) and a t-shirt or button-up / sweatshirt combo tucked in

✧ and for when he works out or it's especially hot out, he wears a pair of shorts and a sort of open-side muscle shirt

✧ favourite food is pineapple chicken fried rice (sweet + savory belong together!!)

✧ loooves coffee shops and likes to try out every single drink from the menu

✧ has two dogs!! one is a small bundle of energy, the other is a big big snuggle buddy

✧ he LOVES cute things and he LOVES looking cute

✧ has a decently-sized collection of anime girl figurines, and a HUGE collection of plush stuffed animals

✧ very very kind, friendly, and lovey. he has absolutely no problem showing affection and intimacy, and can be Very touchy with people; depending on how well he knows them, obviously. never touch a stranger

✧ a bit of a flirt. like a Natural flirt. but, the worst part is, he has No Fuckin Idea he's even doing it

✧ like this man. constantly praises and compliments people, winks after making a joke or playful remark, and flexes to show off his arms when he notices people checking them out (he thinks theyre looking at his tattoos)

✧ and so he's got some people who are just absolutely smitten

✧ but it's like he's just so unbelievably friendly that he doesnt even realize. that the stuff he does can be flirting

✧ so he's just Killing Them.

✧ bros never intentionally flirted with a person once in his life i swear

✧ he also cant tell when someone is flirting with him either

✧ like he's just so friend-shaped that he can't imagine. anyone ever wanting more than that from him. and also he's not the typa guy to pursue people he's interested in by flirting

✧ like he's pretty straightforward when it comes to affection and feelings, so if he's into you, he'll tell you

✧ he might not tell you in a way that. you'll understand at first. bc he regularly tells his friends he loves them n shit

✧ but like. he'll make it pretty obvious eventually

✧ unfortunately, he will not understand if you feel the same way, too, until after a bit either. because boy he dumb as shit abt all this romance stuff

✧ like he Oblivious oblivious

✧ he's a romantic little sweetie, though

✧ he designed most of his tattoos himself in highschool and college; he was the type of kid who would always doodle on their paper. and it got to a point where if there was a paper in front of him, he would doodle on it

✧ homework? doodle on it. pop quiz? doodle on it, too. essay? thats got a doodle. notebook? loads of doodles in it. paper cup? yea, it's getting a doodle on it. no paper surface is safe from his cute little doodles

✧ friends would lend him class notes or pass messages during class just to get a doodle on their paper. he'd even write some encouraging words below it

✧ only knew a few people in the cast in highschool, but they lost touch in college. none of them really recognize him yet since he's had quite the change from when he was a highschooler

✧ changes like going from 5'0 even. to 6'2.

[youngestdaughtersyndrome]

Tagged by my darling @glassangels <3<3<3

1. Are you named after anyone? Im named after a kinks song which is a massive win for me personally. They almost named me rosa after the pixies album (which wouldve made sense bc we do in fact surf) but one of my moms friends was already knitting a sweater with the kinks-name on it and she convinced them to keep it. My middle name is also my paternal grandmas middle name so i guess that counts too

2. When was the last time you cried? No idea tbh. That thing where you lie down on your side and then your eyes start leaking happens to me a lot but a proper sadness-induced cry hasnt happened for months. I will say that sometimes i say something made me cry, and although it technically didnt due to no tears falling, it did make my soul hurt and crying is the closest phrase that expresses that <3

3. Do you have kids? Thank god no

4. What sports do you play/have you played? Soccer, ran track for a bit, ultimate frisbee, swimming, fencing, fighting (mma, kickboxing, cage, etc), equestrianism (im including my brief and unimpressive time vaulting here), did some stuff with a circus briefly (contortionism, aerial arts, lyra), and then the usual outdoorsy shit (surfing, bouldering, hiking, skiing, and since caving is technically a sport, caving). Also danced for a bit (ballet, contemporary, and jazz). Yeah man idk either

5. Do you use sarcasm? Technically yes but its less "sarcasm" and more "inability to express a truth about myself without making it into a joke". A bit of sarcasm when the time calls for it is always fair game though and i will indulge

6. What's the first thing you notice about someone? The way they carry themself says a lot about their temperament and emotional state and whatnot so thats typically where my eye is drawn. Second place goes to wherever theyre keeping their valuables on them and how expensively theyre dressed though

7. Eye color? Blue but ive got a bit of yellow central heterochromia so they tend to look green if its bright out

8. Scary movies or happy endings? Kill them <3 scary movies 4ever

9. Any talents? Party trick-wise i did retain some contortionist ability and so thats always a good one to break out. Also can spit water up to 30 ft for tooth gap reasons. I am the type of person whos just naturally good at a lot of things (sorry) so i consider that a talent too

10. Where were you born? The top left corner of the USA, not including alaska

11. Hobbies? Writing, journaling, watching movies, reading, various textile arts, going for walks, playing assorted instruments, and occasionally traditional art (im particularly fond of ballpoint pens and oil pastels). Would say listening to music but thats a job to me and i clock into that shit like i get paid

12. Any pets? Maeve the most anxious dog in the world who i love very much <3

13. Height? 5'8/172 cm

14. Favorite school subject? I was a school hater so it really depended on the teacher... in high school i did have the same teacher for like three years in a row (she taught me english in freshman year, history in sophomore, + health in junior) and she was totally awesome so all those classes were great. Typically the classes i had the most fun in were english and history just bc there was more room for fucking around. In the single semester of college i took i did have crazy amounts of fun in my film class though which i will say was mostly because my professor rocked and i got him on my side early so i could kind of do whatever

15. Dream job? Due to the Issues and also common sense mainly i just wish the government actually took care of people and i wouldnt need to work. But if i have to chose a job than itd be a) writing a book or two that are good enough i could live off the royalties and film rights and whatnot for the rest of my life or b) pulling an enya (dropping some widely beloved and largely incomprehensible music and then disappearing totally from the public eye to live in a castle in the middle of nowhere)

Idk whos already done this so ignore me if you have lol @supersonic1994 @nothingrhymedwithcircus @hauntedwoman @halogenstreetlight @evebabitzgf @serethereal and anyone else who wants to <3<3<3

[ari-kari]

Where to start?

Both of these images were captured in the Knott’s Berry Farm Hotel, about 7 years apart. The first was taken the night before I left for college in LA; the second, the night before I moved out of LA to Wisconsin. More has happened in those seven years than I could possibly summarize in this post, and it’d be somewhat insane of me to try. So for now, I’ll focus on the girl on the left. Lord knows the one on the right has received her fair share of analysis 💀

She wasn’t technically “Ari” yet, first and foremost. That shift would happen at a later date. But from an outsider’s perspective, it was a time in her life where all signs were pointing upwards. She’d been scholarshipped into a well-known conservatory after a decorated academic and musical career. Her best friend would be staying in the dorms with her and tackling college at her side. As of yet, there’d been no deviation from the clear-cut, linear narrative she’d been following all her life, and damn if she wasn’t fully intending to keep it that way.

The cracks had already started to form by then, though. Her last year of high school had been the most demanding of her life - and unlike the other times, she hadn’t really bounced back afterward, not all the way. There was this lingering gloom that seemed to permeate everything, coloring her vision and making her loved ones feel like strangers. People kept asking her if she was excited for college, and she’d tell them she was “excited and nervous.” That was a lie. She felt nothing but dread for what was to come - like the best years of her life had already come and gone, and everything from this point out was just an epilogue.

She was right to be afraid. I can’t sugarcoat that. Just thinking about what was gonna happen to this kid in the years that followed chokes me up a little. But she was wrong about the most important things - namely, that life after high school was going to be little more than an epilogue. Because no matter how you slice it, one thing is certain; life had barely even started for her yet! The world was so much bigger, and brighter, and harder than she could’ve possibly imagined. And for all the pain she had coming, I don’t think she could’ve imagined how much joy she was capable of in the same breath.

Two days ago, I graduated full-time therapy - not with honors, per se, but with as much love and support as a single human can possibly receive. My therapist bawled like a baby during my ceremony while telling everyone how proud she was of me. The last time I’d made her cry, 6 months prior, she was filling out my suicide risk assessment form on my way to the hospital. We both agreed afterwards that the progression felt right.

I don’t know. I feel like I have more to say about this than I could possibly fit here, and I’ll probably have to save some of it for another post. But right now, in spite of the uncertainty that awaits me in my new home, I’m honestly just…content. I’m on a train heading cross-country through the American Southwest. I am dating one of the most beautiful and wonderful people I’ve ever met. And on top of all that, I have you! Followers and friends who’ve stuck with me through some pretty intense highs and lows, and allowed me to share my writing with the world for the first time in my life.

Thank you all for your kindness and enthusiastic support. And thank you for giving me a space to be my authentic self. I hadn’t felt like a real human being for a really long time when I first showed up here; that has changed, in no small part, because of you.

@laas-yahnir tagging bc I’m love you

[raideo]

Issey drama anon here, please tell us about Romance Doll because I have not heard anything about it

also, have you heard of Quartet? I've seen like 50 gifsets from it and it seems legit funny as hell

UMMM WELL- I'll put my thoughts on Romance Doll under a break at the end because the movie is pretty nsfw and weird and yeah...

Quartet is on my list! I'm definitely going to watch it at some point, but I also really wanna watch Miracles! Honestly that one has been the most interesting to me from the beginning but my adhd is just causing me to watch whatever's convenient first, not the ONE IVE REALLY WANTED TO WATCH THIS WHOLE TIME. I still have to finish Koisenu Futari too... I stopped that one cuz I was watching it with someone and we had a long period of time where we couldn't watch it. And then also it's just VERY HEAVY as a person who happens to be demi who has gone through periods of feeling like I could be aroace in the past. It's so realistic and deals with the painful things as well as the funny things and I am scared to finish it bc I KNOW THERES MORE HEAVY SHIT TO COME but it's an amazing show AND I DO WANT TO FINISH THAT ONE TOO.

And on a completely polar opposite note: ROMANCE DOLL, LMAO

Ok so, this movie is very much one of those WEIRDLY REALISTIC stories where all the characters are so real and flawed and HUGE MISTAKES ARE MADE by characters and it's just such a wild ride. You probably haven't heard about it because its FUCKING WACK.

Without giving too much away in case you wanna watch it (netflix dropped it last monday, which is actually why I ended up watching it over the weekend at all, but it's still available to rent on amazon 🙄) Issey plays Tetsuo, an unemployed art college grad who is desperate for a job. His friend gave him a tip about this sketchy job opening but told him literally nothing else about it. He shows up and this old woman greets him and shows him around and he's a bit shocked to find out it's a shop that makes SILICONE SEX DOLLS. The woman is like "your friend didn't tell you that???" And Tetsuo was like "he literally just said there was a job here-" and she laughs and says "Some friend he is then!" Honestly I loved the old lady she's great, I wish I could remember her name I'm too lazy to go look it up rn.

Anyway so yeah, he takes the job even though the interview was super awkward and there's this gross pervy old guy who works there and he doesn't really care about the subject matter he just needs money (mood)

One thing and another happens (and a lot of me wanting to slap the old man into next tuesday, seriously he's the worst) and a little bit later Tetsuo meets the love of his life through some bullshit connection to his job, and they end up getting married some time after, but she doesn't know what he does for a living and ITS ALL VERY HARD TO EXPLAIN WHY HE KEEPS THAT FROM HER without spoiling things but just- the movie is wack, I really didn't like it in the beginning but it pulls a complete 180 and ends up being this weirdly emotional and AT TIMES, a holesome wholesome slice of life movie??

Don't get me wrong it doesn't sugarcoat things like objectification of women and there's some degree of realistic portrayal of that bc of the whole Tetsuo working at a sex doll shop thing, it is very true to life- how men can be gross even if they aren't going so far as assaulting anyone. It doesn't excuse it either it just presents it as it is, which is good I think. But then there are OTHER moments where the movie is very sex positive- so its a wild fucking trip tbh. Definitely don't watch it if you have sensitivities to the things I mentioned above bc bro omg the first half almost had me like "yeah I can't watch this" a couple times jfc.

BASICALLY by the end of the movie the message is that communication and being open with people you love (and not getting bogged down with anxiety and guilt) is important, because on top of not being fair to the people who are important to you, hiding things from them can eat you up inside and make you act irrationally and hurt them even more whether you realize it or not. And also, you never know how someone will feel about the things you don't want to tell them. Something that could be huge to you could be no big deal to another.

Its just a very interesting movie. I don't know if I'd recommend it, theres some NUCLEAR SECOND HAND EMBARRASSMENT CRINGE MOMENTS like oh my god i wanted to die- and like I said above, there's lots of intense subject matter and some not so pretty moments that a lot of people may want to avoid. Id for sure check one of those sites that gives content warnings before watching bc hoo boy...

But all that aside, once again Issey is an incredible actor and his range is apparent in this movie. I saw some like- borderline SLAPSTICK physical comedy moments that had me so surprised bc he did them so well but its so new and different from anything else ive watched him star in. Dude is just unstoppable tbh. He HAS 👏 THE 👏 RANGE!! 👏

Also you get to see him naked a lot. So there's that!

[petruchio]

Caroline please I need your favorite Shakespeare quotes

I love Shakespeare, and this guy I’m talking to wanted my favorite quotes? I could only think of two on the spot, and now we’re trading quotes for fun facts and I’m a nervous girlie who can’t think of any more.

Help me remember some bangers please? I think we generally have the same taste 😭💛

Specifically jokes you think translate well to modern audiences (even the dirty jokes are fair game, he thinks toilet humor is funny 😭)

But I’m also interested to hear your overall favorite quotes, if you’re willing to share!🌟

ohhhh what a good question!!!

this isn’t a joke or anything but my favorite shakespeare quote is calibans speech from the tempest

Be not afeard; the isle is full of noises, Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight, and hurt not. Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments Will hum about mine ears; and sometime voices, That, if I then had wak’d after long sleep, Will make me sleep again; and then, in dreaming, The clouds methought would open, and show riches Ready to drop upon me; that, when I wak’d I cried to dream again. (III.ii. 130–138)

really i just love all of the tempest though and i would venture that it has the highest number of my favorite quotes. "oh brave new world that has such people in it," "we are such stuff as dreams are made on and our little life is rounded with a sleep," "where the bee sucks there suck i," "let your indulgence set me free," i love the language in the tempest so much.

hmmm in terms of funny quotes i always love to quote this RANDOM line that enobarus says in act 1 of antony and cleopatra that i came across in college and so of course i would just drop this into conversations whenever i could:

"Mine, and most of our fortunes tonight, shall be drunk to bed." (I.ii.46)

don't ask. i just read it one day and i never let it go because i am annoying like that.

OH i also love the as you like it one where jaques is like "i think rosalind is a dumb name" and orlando goes "there was no thought of pleasing you when she was christened" which just always makes me laugh bc like first of all jaques shut up who asked and second of all that's another one that i love to quote that one to people when they randomly announce they don't like things. i'm just like well there was no thought of pleasing you when [xyz happened].

umm another funny one is in romeo and juliet right before the queen mab speech:

Romeo: I dreamed a dream tonight Mercutio: So did I Romeo: Well, what was yours? Mercutio: That dreamers often lie (I.iv.548-551)

i just love him like yes tear him to shreds mercutio. (and then romeo coming back with yeah LIE IN THEIR BEDS dumbass like i love them) but romeo and juliet is like the tempest in that pretty much all the language is so gorgeous that it has a ton of amazing quotes. the most romantic one that i love is:

and, when I shall die, Take him and cut him out in little stars, And he will make the face of heaven so fine That all the world will be in love with night And pay no worship to the garish sun. (III.ii.21-25)

but of course there's so many other romeo and juliet moments that i love. like their sonnet and the holy palmer's kiss, but soft what light through yonder window breaks it is the east and juliet is the sun, thus with a kiss i die, a rose by any other name would smell as sweet... you know them already but come on they're #iconic for a reason

there's a ton of hamlet jokes you could grab too. and there's some really good puns in much ado about nothing that translate pretty well to a modern audience, but i can't think of any off the top of my head.

hopefully that helped haha!! those are some of my favorite quotes but obviously shakespeare is so rich and varied and there's a lot more of it than i can mention in one post -- like there's so much you can find that is even less basic and boring than these ones... but those are some of my favorite quotes from my boy will

[crow-cards]

Could I please request headcanons of being Ethan’s non identical twin?

ooo I like this, this is v interesting!! ty for the request :] sorry it took so long hsjsj

gn!reader, a bit lengthy bc I ended up creating like. a whole storyline 😭

Being Ethan's Non-Identical Twin

You and Ethan have always been very close with each other, glued to the hip, your parents would say. This lasted as you grew up as well considering how closely Ethan kept his family.

Though twins, you two were pretty different a lot of the time. People already found it hard to believe you two were twins considering you hardly looked alike, but– at least from an outside perspective –with you two being so different, they found it even harder to believe.

Hearing "you're twins?!?! no way!!!! that can't be true, just look at you two!!" millions of times over got old fast. You'd probably start replying with "haha yeah! yeah, we are..." and then slowly devolved into a deadpan stare that just read "shut. the fuck up" lmao

Unfortunately, as you got older and started going to college, you and Ethan had different desires so it was the first time you two would be splitting up for a long time.

You kept in contact over phone at least! You'd call and text just about everyday, talking about your days and complaining about school, and Ethan would frequently talk about his girlfriend, Mia, who he had met and started dating during his time in college.

You didn't mind it at all, thought they were really sweet, but you would tease him about his ability to even get a girlfriend in the first place. Y'know, sibling things.

Slowly, you two sort of... Drifted. You brushed it off a bit, assuming it's just because of school, both of you were busy after all. And your schools were a bit far from each other so it wasn't easy to see each other often.

Then you graduated, and reconnected once you could see each other in person again. You'd suggested that you two live together once, but unfortunately he'd already planned to live with Mia. No big deal, they've been together for years and really loved each other, you just missed him a bit, is all. You still keep in touch at least.

When you two once again celebrated your birthday together, Mia was invited to your little celebration and mentioned she didn't even know you were twins, and why Ethan never mentioned this is beyond you, but you got to know her finally! She seemed sweet, but you never ended up very close.

One day, he announces that he's getting married to Mia! You were so happy for him and ended up being his best man (or whatever other equivalent you prefer)

A few years pass, you see him and Mia a bit more often, until... She disappears. Ethan is devastated when authorities says she most likely died, he seems to just... Crumble when he has to accept the fact that she's probably dead.

You're by his side as much as possible, helping him through his mourning.

And those three years later when he calls you one day and tells you Mia is alive and he wants to go get her?? You're very skeptical and nervous about the whole situation, especially when hearing that he's going to Louisiana to find her, but you support him nonetheless, telling him to be safe. Very safe.

You wait nervously for any news of his return or that he's even okay at all, and by some damn miracle, both him and Mia are alive! Once you can, you ask so many questions, but he can hardly answer them. Fair enough, he's gone through a lot clearly.

You do your best to be there for the both of them, but they're not around very often. Weird, but you won't pry, maybe they're just busy.

Until one day they just... Fuck off to Europe and you hardly hear from them, and they can't explain anything! Eventually any letters you get just... Stop coming.

The last time you ever hear about your brother is when his death is announced to you, and your heart drops. It takes a while to sink in, the fact you'll never see him again, that you'll never learn why they just disappeared one day, that you'd never get to say goodbye.

You learn he had a baby, named Rosemary. You absolutely did your best to help raise her when you could, though you couldn't be there as often as you wanted. She's a good kid. Just like her father.

[justablah56]

TJ anon once again: this is great because it's like writing a multi chapter fic but there's no plot and it's made for a readership of one person

Cass "Hey, if there's no security footage, there's no proof" Swift-Close-Foster-Freeman-Stampler is definitely a bit of a chaos gremlin. She and Lark once almost got arrested for public indecency when she got him to unbutton her shirt in a nightclub. Why? No one really bothered to ask, they were too busy trying to bargain with the police. One of them turned out to be Jodie's old work mates, who let them off.

You know what, this is going to be a clubbing themed ask. Disclaimer: I have never been clubbing. Legally, I cannot

The kiddads, Rebecca, Marco, and Cassandra have gotten kicked out of multiple clubs. At some point, they developed a system to create the wildest night possible, involving when you can start dancing on tables, and the best place to make friends for the night. The answer to the latter is the girls' bathroom. There is always a crying drunk girl in a bathroom, and Cassandra and Rebecca are very skilled at comforting and befriending them. Your boyfriend broke up with you? And he's here with his new girlfriend? Girl, you're so much better than him, we will buy you drinks and hype you up. We have 6 hot men who will dance with you and treat you like a goddamn celebrity for the entire night, let's show that fucker how much you don't need him. And if you're worried about them being weird, two of them are gay and all of them are respectful. Have some discount coupons for Swallows Ice Cream and a random makeover. We will turn a terrible night into one of the best for you.

Certain members of the group have been mistaken for erotic dancers on multiple occasions. No comment as to who. It does mean that they have more money for drinks though.

Cassandra and Nicky will be the ultimate gnc couple. Cass goes in a suit, but one of those more casual ones that have lowcut shirts and a deliberately loose tie. Nicky goes in a crop top and mini skirt with fishnets. They have switched outfits part way through the night without people noticing at least 7 times, because honestly, they would both wear each outfit.

Terry and Lark are usually the sober ones, as Lark is often the designated driver, and Terry just assigns himself designated drunk people wrangler. Since they're also the two who (at the time) are not in a committed romantic relationship, they carefully accumulated embarrassing moments for everyone's weddings, knowing that there was no sufficient retribution.

(Side headcanon that Terry and Lark go on platonic Valentine's dates every year in college/uni. They take lots of photos of Terry being cutesy and couple-y and Lark just being grumpy. Terry Jr always buys him sunflowers for the date, and although he'd never admit it, he keeps them for as long as possible. One year, TJ actually had a girlfriend on Valentine's Day, but he told her he was busy and still went on the date with Lark. She broke up with him after seeing the pictures of them together on social media, which, in retrospect, Terry Jr admits was completely fair)

hello again tj anon !! <3 also , this is great bcs I get soso many hcs and fun storylines that are vaguely connected , all written specifically for me to read and it's absolutely lovely <3333

anyways , the kiddads and co just being the most chaotic clubbers to ever exist <333 they commit enough crimes when they're sober , so it only makes sense they'd commit even more when drunk LMAO but them also just being like . that one story that a bunch of random girls have . just some club cryptids that find random sad girls and then proceed to be the nicest people ever and give them the night of their lives dbnsnsmsm also multiple of them being mistaken for strippers 😭😭 love that for them honestly <3 also glad to see Nicky is continuing Glenn's legacy of having the most gnc "straight" relationship to ever exist <333 them sharing outfits is everything , actually <3333 but lark and terry collecting everyone's embarrassing moments for weddings dbjsnssksk they are so silly <33 it's just the Lark and Terry dynamic !!!! they are the qpps of all time !!!!! and Terry ditching his gf of valentine's for lark 🥺 like yes that sucks for the gf , but Terry and Lark !!!! I love them !!!!!

[snyrtch]

15 Questions, and (not 15) mutuals lmao

I was tagged by @highwayphantoms ty!

Are you named after anyone? I was named after my paternal prababka- it's a lovely name, but I only let my family use it. IRL I typically go by either my chosen name, Tarren, or by my first two initials. My middle name was inherited from my maternal grandfather. It's quite unique and I am rather fond of it. My family traditionally takes one or both given names from the kid's grandparents/great-grandparents. ​ 

When was the last time you cried? That would be last night bc I watched a sad movie :^)  

Do you have kids? Not yet! I plan to have maybe two children, if everything works out. I would also like to foster or guardian one additional kid too.  

Do you use sarcasm a lot? Constantly! It's the easiest type of joking I ever learned.  

What’s the first thing you notice about people? My eyes tend to drift just to the cheekbones for some reason when I meet people. I don't feel comfortable making direct eye-contact until I have established some kind of acquaintanceship I suppose? So it's close to the eyes, but not quite. I see the texture there, the shape of the hair. Colors of all, etc. This question is kind of hard to answer because it can also be interpreted as, what stands out first when meeting, right? Not just the initial glance. So I suppose I notice and pay attention to someone's voice a lot when building new relationships.  

What’s your eye color? They're hazel! I'm fond of them. Some lights the major tone is grey, in others green. Some brown in the center. A lot of friends have thought they were brown entirely until I started wearing contacts more frequently & were genuinely shocked.  

Scary movies or happy endings? Yes. Both. Good. Yes. I love horror and supernatural elements, I just don't like the unbearable and overwhelming doom some horror media has about it. I like the contrasts of joy and humor and horror.  

Any special talents? When I was little I could bend my back in half! I have an uncanny sense of time; If I set something in the oven or microwave, I'll go back and get on my computer. Almost without fail, I'll sit up and go 'oh I should check on that really quick!' and the microwave or toaster oven will beep/ding, the timer will go off, etc, the second I step foot in the kitchen. If I go to bed and say 'I'd like to wake up at 8' I will always wake up within 20 mins of either side of 8, regardless of when I went to sleep.  

Where were you born? Technically, in York, Maine, though we lived in Kittery. I loved Maine. Very much my kind of weather.  

What are your hobbies? :^) Well. Writing, digital art, painting, sewing, researching obscure topics, video games, espresso/coffee making and latte art, cooking, tea collecting/blending, medicinal herbs, gardening, (does ren faire obsession count as a hobby?), baking. Some of those are more prominent as actual hobbies than others. I hope soon to get into archery. One day I'd like to get back into horseback and violin or cello.  

What sports do you play/have played? I am simply not athletic 👍🏻  

How tall are you? I'm 5'8".  

Favorite subject in school? In High School, I didn't have time to take art classes while doing orchestra, unfortunately. But I did enjoy orchestra the most, I think. In College, I took a Non-fiction Creative Writing class that truly changed my view of nonfiction, being creative, and how to create boundaries when writing from personal events. Literally life-changing lol.  

Dream job? Woof. Uh, anything. I'm going to probably end up being a Research Psych, but if I could legitimately never work again and have a semi-self sufficient household where I could do things like art and gardening without worrying about capitalism, but could also manage to buy supplemental groceries and modern needs that would be. Ideal.  

I'll go ahead and tag @sharpe-teeth @darethshirl @moss-flesh @siennamain @bluewren @fade-touched-shenanigans and @glowing-blue-feathermage

None of y'all have to do it of course, but I find these kind of things fun and an easy way to get to know everybody! :^)

[theharrowing]

Oooh, so many interesting questions! 4, 13, 14, 25, 32, 38, 43, 44, 51 please. (oops kind of a lot lol. you can do less if you want!) what does 38 mean huh?? 43, my fav is koya despite being yoongi biased :/ i like sleepy/tired characters. i feel guilty for "betraying" my bias though lol

hello, anon!!! sorry for keeping you waiting, my dear! i am not shy so let's answer all of these hehe.

4. Current Bias?

but also namjoon has been like.........sharing the throne??? so to speak????? i don't know. i just cry over men, that's all i know.

13. Any concert experience? 

yes! thanks to some generous friends, i got to go to PTD LA nights 1, 3 & 4! for 3 & 4, a gaggle of gals slept in my home (i even gave them my bed) so them scoring me a ticket definitely came with the guarantee of somewhere for them to sleep. 🥰🥰🥰 here are two of the first pics i found in my camera roll that looked cute enough to share:

14. Funny moments that always make you laugh?

i answered this questions here too, but after some thought, the first thing that really made me laugh like i was dying was the run bts episode where jungkook made the sweet potatoes that stuck to the plate. he was my bias at the time too, and i was smitten by how fucking cute and silly he was. still makes me laugh all these (2 lol) years later. when jin got hit in the nuts with the air hockey puck. when suga unplugged the tv while jin was playing. they're pure chaos without even trying and i love them very much.

25. Do you read fanfics? If yes can you recommend one? 

i read a lot of fanfics! i just finished reading Stars Lost in the Sea by smiles and WOW THE ANGST i cried so much lmao, like so, so much. really great story. yoonjin, time travel, yearning. it was so good!

32. ______ (member) dream you had?

thinking about this makes me realize that recently jungkook was in a dream, but the plot is completely lost to me, and honestly, i'm a bit sad. i dream about them often. once i had a dream a very naked namjoon was beneath me (i was straddling his waist, p sure i clothes on lmao) and he was saying "show me how you fuck yoongi oppa" and then i woke up and had A LOT OF REGRETS!!!! (and if i put a similar scene in collateral 11 that's my own business.) (also, i'm older than yoongi and wouldn't call him oppa, but...my subconsciousness went for it.) my dreams aren't always sexual, though! sometimes we're just in come chaotic dream world doing chaotic things. but they are sexy occassionally. 😈

38. Your BTS guilty pleasure?

no, i am unabashedly am army lol. although many armys are embarrassing as hell and i steer clear of the drama and don't associate with them lmao. i think a guilty pleasure is something you like despite it not being popular, or despite people thinking it's not a good thing to like? and i don't think bts can even fit into that classification bc their fanbase is fucking huge. and they seem to genuinely be good people. but ig haters will say it's photoshop idk.

43. Favorite BT21 character?

honestly, shooky. I KNOW YOONGI IS MY BIAS but i don't like them bc of that lol i like them bc they're super cute and a vibe. they're a grumpy cookie and like............gosh, big fucking mood. i love them all tho, 10/10 very cute cuties. i dont even really collect plushies and i have 7 shookys lmao. and 1 rj.

44. BTS Merch you own or some you want to own?

i own a fair share. i have most cds, some dvds, some seasons greetings/winter packages. enamel pins, the coveted whale plushie, yoongi's necklace, joon's windchime, tae's enamel pins...a lot of washi tapes lol. the me, myself & i photobooks (thanks to one very generous beta reader.) 🥺

there's nothing i really want right now, tbh. i wasn't a collector before, so it's still kinda weird to me to want material possessions; i have been trying, more recently, to only get things i can wear or actually use bc i am a very broke college student, once again lol. i finally got the recipe book, and i'm really excited to use it!

51. If BTS were not Idols what job YOU believe they will choose?

hmm, this is a tough question. i could really see namjoon and yoongi as professors of some sort, or as therapists. jungkook would probably be a veterinarian. taehyung would own a very prestigious daycare center. hoseok and jimin would still be in the dance scene, somehow. seokjin would be a retired actor.

i could also see all 7 of them being twitch streamers or youtubers. seokjin and jungkook would play games. namjoon and yoongi would be philosophical. taehyung's channel would be chaotic with no theme. hoseok would model his latest clothing hauls and jimin would be a self-taught makeup artist.

ask me some BTS questions!!!!

[shirogane-oushirou]

RO, HI HI!!! I'M HERE TO ASK YOUR REN SOME VALENTINEY THINGS ☺️💖💖💖

Rosy Brown, Misty Rose, and Chocolate Cosmos if you don't mind, hehe!! Also I hope you and him have a really sweet and relaxing fun V-day together ☺️✨️

♡• @rockstars-babe •♡

HIE REFFIEEEE!!! 💖 thank you for sending these heheee~~ took me a couple days longer than i hoped to answer this kJNSAKJFN but. i had a lot to say and no brain power to say it LMAO. our valentines was very eepy sleepy so we're going to have a belated valentines day, maybe in a couple of days once i can finish some valentines art who said that. 👀

Rosy Brown: How do some of the closest people in both of your lives (such as family, close friends, etc) feel about your relationship? Any notable positive and/or negative?

in general, i think most people in our lives approve…? there are nuances for each ren, but like. for doc! and v!ren, his coworkers think he's become more… personable? i guess? he's a little more open, a little more vulnerable, a little less reliant on his mask. he's always been FRIENDLY, and he doesn't necessarily HIDE things like his interests, but he also isn't super open about things until he's more comfortable with himself in a general sense. r!ren's coworkers are like "oh he's WAY friendlier, he doesn't immediately fight back if someone's kind of an asshole to him, PLEASE keep it up" LMAO ;;; his dnd group coworkers would doubly appreciate that ldksml. my friends, selfship and from college, would probably like any version of him tbh... nice and sociable, shares interests, doesn't have any of the worrying features my college friends have seen from partners of people around us... i think he might set off some slight alarm bells from how strong he comes on to me at the start, but that's more like a beige flag if anything KJNASDJK. it'd only be a problem if they knew about what doc! and v!ren do later... which goes for anyone around us tbh hghghg. his sister cass and i get along in all verses ksjdnfkjn, but especially in r!ren's verse (they live together so i see her more often); she's seen all of his past relationships and is like "oh this person is chill? and my brother genuinely likes them instead of just liking the fact that he's in a relationship? sick. they're Family now." and i haven't really fleshed her out yet, but i think her daughter would at least not Dislike me lmao? i could see her being a little jealous that when her uncle comes to visit he spends some of his time being ~gross~ with this other person, and she may have seen his previous partners and expect me to be the same, but after some time she'd realize i'm sticking around and i'm not as detached as those other people were…. plus kids like me bc i can draw things for them so KJSDNFKJNSFK that'd definitely persuade her ;;; no matter what i think she'd be mostly cordial; she's a sensible kid, just like her mom! both of our parents, though……. he wants to keep me as far away from his parents as possible ;; not only does he want to cut contact for his sake (and r!ren already has), but they'd also look down on me for my disability issues. and my mom's… well… she'd "like" doc! and v!ren for superficial reasons, and she'd dislike r!ren for equally superficial reasons but tolerate him bc she thinks any kind of romantic relationship > being alone. same with my aunt; she'd just be more upfront and vocal about it. my cousin… would see him a bit more as a real person, though i think she'd still have some unfair judgements. and FINALLY jkdnsfkj, r!ren's grandparents. i think they'd like me as a person, but they'd be worried that we'd have difficulty with things like living together from a financial standpoint. which is fair tbh. if we could figure that out, they'd be gucci lmao.

Misty Rose: If your fo wanted to plan something big and special for you, who would they go to for help/ advice? A close friend of theirs, a close friend of yours, etc? Or are they persistent on doing it by themselves?

oh, he'd go to cass for SURE. she's good at reading people, as part of her job; in doc! and v!ren's cases, she's the one who nudges him into acknowledging the feelings he was trying so hard to ignore, bc she saw just how Pubby (tm) he was around me hhghgh. and in r!ren's case, of course, they live together, so it's only natural that she would find out about his crush. he has strong observation skills of his own thanks to his people-pleasing nature, but he also constantly second-guesses himself; he'd appreciate having someone to bounce ideas off of or ask for advice, especially if that someone also has good observation skills and may have noticed things he hasn't… doesn't mean he wouldn't fumble things in the end, though, lol. cass: "you could take them to a nice rooftop restaurant, drop some hints that you may be interested them." doc! and v!ren: /takes me to the restaurant, proceeds to drunkenly ask me if he could kiss me before he even asks me out/ and while doc! and v!ren would have a good idea of nice and fun places and restaurants to go to, because he likes to roam around the city during his off time to take his mind off of things, r!ren lives in a rural area where going anywhere requires a car. plus... money. cass would probably have a better idea of good places to go ;;

i already answered chocolate cosmos here, so i'll do what you did and choose another one~ >:3

Jasper: What's a song that reminds your f/o of you? A song that they'll hear and will always think of you.

Nearly Witches by P!ATD for doc! and v!ren 💛 How does a heart love if no one has noticed Its presence, and where does it go? Trembling hands play my heart like a drum But the beat's gotten lost in the show You have set your heart on haunting Me forever from the start It's never silent Fineshrine by Purity Ring for r!ren 💙 That I might see with my chest and sink Into the edges 'round you Into the lakes and quarries that brink On all the edges 'round you, 'round you, 'round you Get a little closer, let fold Cut open my sternum and pull My little ribs around you The lungs of me be crowns over you

(ask game here)

[iturmom]

i guess this is a d*nation post but i don't even know what i would do with money if it's d*nated because there's legitimately no way i could raise enough to fix my problems because although i have suffered immense trauma i don't have like cancer or some equally terrible health condition or something equally extreme in the eyes of the masses at least. but i'll briefly explain the situation i'm in so you can see that it really is extreme (ca is $ityourmom if you can give anything, and please boost)

i worked my ass off to build my life even though everyone, especially the powers that be have been against me and all the odds have been stacked against me all my life. yeah i had a fucked up childhood and grew up in poverty and trauma and had no support. don't want to go into details for the sake of brevity. i was kicked out of my grandma's house after high school bc she didn't want to be responsible for her fucked up grandchild. fucked up of her but fair. i didn't really have any support. i put myself through college full time and worked full time through most of college to make ends meet

i had to rent out both of my rooms to afford rent (i was renting a trailer from my grandma) so i had to sleep on the couch. fucked up my back real bad but that's mostly recovered now. i had some terrible roommates but the last one attacked me. police didn't help protection order was denied so i had to flee the town (he still lived in that town and for brevity's sake just know i wasn't safe there) stayed with a friend but it was too much for her with 4 kids and 5 dogs and her own bullshit she had to deal with and she was moving to a different state anyway so she had to kick me out. i couldn't find a place to live within my budget so i packed up my life and my cats and left my dream job to move to alabama to live with my neonazi mother and her equally fucked up conservative husband. this was the beginning of covid and i lived with her for 10 months. she was abusive and it escalated to her trying to kill me. her husband helped her but she was the primary assailant. it was honestly horrific but the worst part was when the cops got there and she was still on top of me attacking me but i was the one who got arrested. when i got out of jail i was picked up by these people who ran an unofficial group home (arranged by my mother and she paid for my first week so it was worth it at least for the first week. it quickly went to shit). they were "recovered" meth heads. they were insane bible thumping racist conservatives. they were abusive to me. they kicked me out for something i didn't do and i had to stay in a hotel for 3 weeks and subsist off a single pizza a day.

i moved to live with my girlfriend in texas. i had to go back and forth for court dates on my dollar even though the case was ultimately dropped. all this bullshit drained my savings. i had $5,000 (tax returns and stimulus checks with a little of that being savings from work) at the time that i was arrested almost 2 years ago and now i have almost nothing. my girlfriend ended up being very abusive. she knocked my head into the wall and i fleed with nothing but the clothes on my back and my wallet and 3ds (no charger) which i used for internet to try to get help and the dv hotline. went to the battered women's shelter. might i interrupt to remark on how bullshit it is that my mother tried to kill me and the government punished me for it and stole all my money and society left me homeless but my girlfriend just hit me once and i got free food and rent among other things for 2 years fuck this bullshit garbage evil system.

so now i am living in a restorative living program for vulnerable women but the program is dissolving and we have about 6 months to figure something out except that timing is not set in stone it could be much less. my case manager is being hella shady lately acting like i'm just a lazy fucking bum treating me like i'm just gaming the system for free rent which i am and i have every right to after all that this system has done to me, all that it has enabled to be done to me, and all it has stolen from me. THEY PLAYED ME FIRST okay? BUT. i'm doing everything i signed up for to participate in this bullshit program and i've also been working my ass off to get public assistance and i keep getting denied for disability and i don't think i'll get it even though i am way too traumatized and fucked up to function AND i can't participate in a system that has taken everything from me and fucked me over even if i WAS stable enough. which i'm not i'm constantly haunted by a lifetime's worth of extreme trauma and i can't get medication prescribed that would fuck me up enough to make me able to function. i've also been denied almost every other public assistance except food stamps but they require you to go through an intensive program and work 30 hours a week because food is not a right and i am absolutely not stable enough to commit to that. well i got exempted since i'm applying for disability but like i said i keep getting denied and i don't even know if it's worth pursuing any further so i'll lose food stamps too.

so i can't get any public assistance, i'm way too fucked up to depend on myself and don't trust this system to sell my soul to it again, my case manager is being shady so i don't know if she's actually going to help me find another program once this one dissolves (which isn't a gaurantee that she'd find anything anyway) or if she's just going to kick me out since i'm such a fucking leech in her eyes, even though i'm doing everything i signed up for, going through the ringer to try to get public assistance, all while i'm barely functioning with cptsd, add, and anxiety.

so my future is completely uncertain and i'm terrified and my mental health is spiralling out of control. i don't know what to do bc i've tried everything and the system is rigged against me, has used me up and broken me and is ready to throw me out like trash. i'm helpless and hopeless and i don't think there are any options for me. i don't think there's anything i CAN do in this situation i'm fucked and i'll never get justice i know that for fact and i don't think i'll get any support. but also i don't think i can possibly raise enough money to fix my problems. i don't know how much i need. nothing is certain for me right now. what i really need is help. i need justice. i need disability. i need options. i need my life back that was stolen from me that i busted my ass to build from the ground up.

[autumnrory]

i thought i’d try making more last minute plans with this friend who always has to cancel but alas no luck sjkdfkjs it’s just been too long

[yesimwriting]

Would you write a Kaz Brekker request where the reader is a bookworm and a crow and basically Kaz asks the reader to read to him as his way of apologizing after a argument that was his fault?

 it ​​a/n i did something kinda similar in a 'promise of rain' blurb,, but this concept is so cute to me:)) love it sm i moved it up my request cue lol

also IM IN COLLEGE NOW!! WHAT?? AND IVE BEEN TO A PARTY! AND IM JOINING A SORORITY AND I DID DRAMA AUDITIONS AND AHH !! SO DIFFERENT! I MISS MY MOM AND SISTER AND DOG AND EVEN MY DAD BUT IM HAPPY HERE!! 

also im a little worried this might not portray kaz superrrrr accurately bc it's been awhile so just let me know,, feedback leads to improvement:)) also kinda set this up for a part 2 bc...well youll see 

--

They've always said a lot of things about him, and I've always heard them. But I've never quite believed them. Sure, I get why the dark things that have flourished in the poisoned soil that is Ketterdam consider Kaz Brekker the darkest thing of all. I understand the nickname 'Dirtyhands' for the gloved criminal who has fooled each crime boss at least once. I understand each terrible thing they've said about him.

But I've never agreed with them. I've never even considered agreeing with them. Until today.

The thought that maybe everything people say about him is correct in a simple context struck me worse than the silence after our argument. It made me feel like both a fool and hypocrite. Kaz and I have had our fair share of spats over the relatively short time we've known each other, but never like this. Never so badly he stormed out of the room before I could. I squeeze the book in my lap even harder, desperate to focus on the words on the pages.

You didn't hurt him. He walked away because he decided you weren't worth the cost of his expensive time. I repeat those thoughts in my mind over and over again, letting them bitter me further. It's a lot easier to be mad than hurt. A lot easier to fuel your pain than try to understand your mistakes. Besides, tiredness is already dredging around in my chest and if I don't calm down a little I won't be able to fall asleep.

I had escalated the fight more than I should have. Knowing Kaz is like performing in a tightrope act. One must always be aware of where they're going. Watching what's in front of them without ever thinking too much about what's beneath or behind them. Today though, when I needed my balance most I chose to fall. I chose to dive, and apparently there was no net.

"Oh, you're doing that thing."

I roll my eyes at Jesper's voice as I fight down a yawn. I wipe my face with the back of my palm before turning. The burning behind my eyes never resulted in full tears, but I feel better after doing so. "What thing?"

"That terribly noble thing where you find it in yourself to take full blame for every single conflict you and boss man fall into." The slight humor in his voice is enough for me to roll my eyes again. "Between you and me, I'm sure the reason he's so angry now is because you didn't do that for once."

I press my lips together as my chin angles itself upwards slightly. "I never do that." He raises an eyebrow. The slight sympathy that colors the look is more offensive than his accusation. "If I pick and choose my battles, it's for good reason."

"Clearly."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

He shrugs once before further entering my room. I say nothing when he sits at the foot of my bed. "Oh, you know," Jesper stretches back casually, resting his back against the wall and extending his legs, "You and Kaz--Kaz and you."

Has he been drinking? Perhaps he's not here because of my unusual absence from downstairs after my fight with Kaz but because he's already too tipsy to think right. "What?"

At my confused look he grins, flashing all of his teeth with an arrogance that outshines the whiteness of them. He taps the still open book in my lap. "Let me put it in terms you'll understand." Jesper sits up a little further, amusement clear in his features. "You two make a shameful Elizabeth and Darcy--"

"Oh, shut up," I groan, glaring at him, "This isn't Pride and Prejudice. And Kaz and I," Jesper's smugness returns when I can't quite think of what I want to say, "We're barely friends--we're barely anything, let alone what you're implying."

Jesper pulls his legs up and shoves me gently. "Dearest, y/n," he ignores my glare, "You should know better than anyone that 'barely friends, barely anything' with Kaz is more than it is with anyone else?"

"That doesn't mea--"

"You two say goodnight to each other." Once. Kaz and I said good night to each other in front of Jesper once. How dare he assume it happens regularly? He's right, but that doesn't mean I'm okay with it. "You play cards with him. Not for money, not for skill--"

"It's for practice." The look Jesper gives me is enough to tell me that my defense didn't land.

Damn him for ever finding Kaz and I on one of those strange nights. One of those nights in which he lurks at the stairwell...the one that divides my room and his attic. One of those nights in which it feels like he's a phantom and I'm the only one that can really see him. A night in which we both silently find each other.

I couldn't quite believe it the first time it happened. I'm not exactly a Crow--I don't feel enough a connection to the Dregs to join them without some kind of guarantee--but I was needed for some obscure job. but I was needed for some obscure job. The Crows needed an insider who could blend into high society, and I needed a place to stay away from my father.

It worked. I worked. And with each passing day I found myself enjoying the Crows more and more. That's why I stayed. That's why I started checking the stairwell practically every night, a set of playing cards in my hand.

The first time had been awkward. I couldn't sleep and my room felt too quiet, but the rambunctious club felt too loud and a little unsafe considering the hour. So I settled for the only space in between. When Kaz found me sitting on the steps and playing a solitary card game I had been so stunned by embarrassment I just offered to deal him in. I had been more shocked when he silently accepted my offer.

"Practice?" Jesper repeats. "You were laughing, I heard you."

"That was one time--how do you know we didn't just happen to play cards together the one time you saw it?"

"Because you laughed about a play you considered 'predictable'."

Sighing, I sit up a little straighter. "I'm not having this conversation. Occasionally saying 'goodnight' to someone who lives in the same space I live in and sometimes playing cards with said person because we both happen to be up at a certain time doesn't mean anything."

"And the way he looked at the contact that was flirting with you?"

Oh...this conversation again. "For the last time, the contact wasn't flirting with me. We had to dance to blend in and when he leaned towards me to whisper in my ear...it was to tell me the intel Kaz just had to have."

"And when he tucked that strand of hair behind your ear?"

"He just wanted to sell our cove--"

"Y/n, he kissed your cheek and I'm fairly certain he would have kissed you if Kaz and I hadn't made it to the corridor at that second."

Why is everyone so obsessed with what would have never happened? The contact had been attractive, tall with fair eyes and hair. But it's not like I feel anything for him, nor would I have been so foolish during a job. A fact that Kaz refuses to believe. I'm tired of this argument...I'm just tired. This job required me to start getting ready early in the morning and lasted long into the night.

"I wouldn't have kissed him and even if I had, the fact that Kaz is so mad about feels...sexist." A stupid argument, considering that Kaz couldn't care less if the person he's working with is female, male, or anything in between because the only thing he cares about is profit. "It's a stupid thing to be mad about, but you hit on anything with a pulse at any time and--"

"I resent that--"

"For the first two weeks I was here I thought you might've been a prostitute."

I can feel him holding in a laugh. "Did you at least think I was a good prostitute?" When I glare again, he finally actually laughs. "Not the point--got it."

"Then what is the point? You're bored and obsessed with gossip so now you're shaking me for information you don't need."

"The point is you're oblivious." Rude...I move my leg in a weak attempt to push him off my bed. Jesper catches my ankle easily, ignoring my attempt at a fight. "You thought the contact was only doing his job and you don't know the real reason that Kaz blew up at you for the first time the way he blows up at everyone."

"Okay, well since you know everything, tell me why he's mad."

He lets out a sigh like he can't believe I even needed to ask that. "It's not the best look that the first time you let him pick a fight with you happens to be about some guy."

...Maybe he is drunk? "Don't be so cryptic. I don't like you enough to put up with that."

Jesper half-sighs again before pushing himself off my bed. "I'm going to pretend I think you're smart enough to piece things together from that."

"Asshole," I mumble instinctually as he walks towards my door. "Are you not telling me because I tried to push you off the bed?"

He turns when he reaches my door in order to lean against my door frame. "It's not not because of that." I should throw my book at his head. "In all seriousness, think about it. If you don't you'll either kill each other or kill me."

Ugh...he's so confusing. This time, I let him go. He leaves he door open, which is beyond annoying. I stand up to close it, promising myself I will focus on my book the second it's in my hands again. As I walk back towards my bed, my eyes land on the deck of cards on my nightstand.

Does it send a signal I don't want to send if I don't go the stairwell tonight? Do I want to send a signal? I don't know...actually, the only thing I know is that I don't want to think about this a second longer. I don't ease as I read, but my eyelids become heavier with each word they cross. I feel the weight of them as my focus slips, farther and farther away until I can no longer focus. When my eyes fall shut I can't bring myself to think or force them open.

--

I notice my surprised before I register that I've just woken up. Falling asleep feels so far and yet the crick in my neck confirms the obvious. Rubbing the eyes with the back of my hand, I push my book from my lap and sit up. The only indication of how much time has passed is how much my bedside candle has melted.

How long have I been asleep? How did I manage to fall asleep? I thought I was too mad at Kaz to manage anything but pouting in my room. I hadn't even decided if I wanted to talk to him.

I stand even though I haven't decided anything. I should at least change if I want to go to bed. But is leaving this alone for even longer a bad idea? I think Jesper thought so...though my conversation with him is far from clear. It's not the best look that the first time you let him pick a fight with you happens to be about some guy. I'm going to pretend I think you're smart enough to piece things together from that. What does he want me to do with that?

Maybe he was partially intoxicated and felt the need to play the role of a good friend. Or maybe this is his idea of a joke.

Whatever--regardless of Jesper, I have a choice to make. A tiny part of me hopes it's insignificant, but I know Kaz enough to know that nothing is insignificant to him. He holds onto things the way he holds onto his kruge. Perhaps I'll seek out Inej, she seems to be the best at rationalizing. Though she might be asleep by now, or on a job or...I don't even know.

How late is it? Is it late enough to be one of the few hours Kaz claims to reserve for sleep? Maybe my bad luck is still around and he's already in bed for once. Does that mean his anger will extend to tomorrow?

I shouldn't care. It's not like I'm in the wrong. Did I escalate things? Maybe a little...but I won't apologize for defending myself. Even though that makes everything a little easier. I feel stuck, like in some kind of place of half sleep. A single knock at my door is enough to make me want to jump. I rub my eyes a little more firmly in hopes of waking up more before someone sees me.

I approach the door without worry. Maybe it's not as late as I assumed. Or maybe it's really early? I open the door while still fighting against my slight disorientation. I'm so focused on acting normal, I almost don’t register the person standing at my door. 

I don’t know who I expected, or what--maybe Jesper, much more tipsy than he was before, slumped against the doorframe, only knocking because he’s too tired to push the door open. Maybe even Inej, on her way here to deliver some kind of job or notice of dismissal. But it’s nothing I could expect. It’s...Kaz. 

The Dirtyhands stands at my door, expression as hard as ever yet something behind his eyes that burns the sleep away from me. “Uh--hi.” I bite my tongue to avoid cringing at that very awkward beginning. “Are you here to kick me out yourself?” The only response I get is the slightest shift of his gaze off of my face. “No? Well then I think I’m going to bed. It’s late.” 

My tone and words are clear. Get out of my doorway, I’m in no mood to go back to arguing.  When he still doesn’t say anything, I’m emboldened by my nerves. I push the door between us without breaking eye contact. 

Before the wood can meet the doorframe, he moves his cane, wedging it between us. “Y/n.” I don’t understand the way he says my name, but I’m certain he’s never said it like that. “I...” When he’s not prompted by the uncomfortableness of silence, I raise an eyebrow, my grip on the door tightening. “What I said shouldn’t have been said.” Wait--is he admitting fault? I’m so thrown I almost melt entirely. “Not to you.” 

The addition leaves him so lowly a part of me wonders if I’ve imagined it. I’m so thrown by it I don’t even think to reply until a long second has passed. “You seemed to believe the opposite a few hours ago.” 

His lips press together for a moment. “You didn’t ask me to play cards tonight.” He took that as intentional? At least that got me some kind of apology? I keep my mouth shut, greed making me want more information. I guess he must sense my silent tugging because he head inclines slightly. “Don’t push.” 

I fight down a grin. “Push what?” His only response to stiffen further. “I’m going to tell you something as a peace offering.” That seems to intrigue him in some way. I can’t tell if it’s a good kind of interested, but I note the slight raise of his eyebrows and his intentional silence. “I didn’t chose not to ask you to play cards.” He gives me no indication of anything, which is fair...considering my vagueness. “I was mad, obviously, and in the middle of deciding on a course of action...and then I fell asleep.” 

A long pause of silence. “You fell asleep?” 

I’m not sure if his incredulous tone should offend me or not. If I wanted to lie, I’d like to think he knows me well enough to know that I’d have thought of a better excuse than that. Or at least a less embarrassing one. “Yes, it’s not that difficult to believe. Today had been long and all I wanted to do was read, but then Jesper came in to say the oddest things and then leave me to...” 

Oh--oh. I guess there’s a reason people say to ‘sleep on’ something. Because now, actively remembering Jesper’s words for the first time since I fell asleep...I understand what Jesper was implying in the oddest way possible. He meant that Kaz and I...that perhaps there is a Kaz and I in a context that’s more than just grammatical. Wow. I really had to realize this with Kaz right in front of me. 

My face feels warmer than it did before, an irrational bout of anxiety forcing me to consider that me might be able to read impossible, embarrassing thoughts from my expression alone. 

“What did Jesper say?” I’m too lost in my own spiral of confusion and panic and some feeling I can’t recognize to register how Kaz asks his question. There’s an edge to it, an odd one, but that could easily just be Kaz. 

This is most definitely the last conversation we need to be having. I’m still mad at him for his earlier dramatics. So I just shake my head, feigning an exhaustion I could lose myself in. “Nothing and everything all at once.” I resist the urge to rub my eyes again. “I’m pretty sure he was drinking, and I wasn’t really listening. I was just trying to read.” 

Kaz’s expression hardens briefly as he takes in my words, and then he exhales, nodding once with the breath. “What were you reading?” 

My lips part instinctually, ready to spew off details about the latest novel that’s captured my attention. But before I can let myself take off, the reality of the situation strikes me directly in the chest. This is not Nina, or Inej, or even Jesper after what he considers a ‘good night’. This is Kaz Brekker, the man believed to not have a soul. I’ve spoken to him before about casual things, though most of the nights in which we end up playing cards or just sitting near each other are spent in silence. But he’s never prompted me before. Not in the one topic he knows is guaranteed to turn me into an overenthusiastic, gushing fountain of poor summaries and character analysis. 

I guess this is his peace offering. This shouldn’t warm the way it does. He was still unbelievably dramatic and treated me like I’m some kind of unreliable fool. “It’s late, and you know how I can be. I’d hate to keep you for nothing more than a poor summary and honestly, an embarrassing rant about plot or characters, because there’s just nothing as frustrating as when two people so clearly care about each other and both are too stubborn and oblivious to acknowledge it.” 

Kaz’s eyebrows draw together just enough for me to be able to make out a shift of expression in the poor light. Perhaps his lingering irritation is preparing to rear its ugly head. The corner of his mouth seems to threaten to tilt upwards as Kaz angles his head to the side slightly. “I can’t imagine that position.” 

No kidding. I bite my tongue to keep the sarcastic comment and awkward laugh that would sure follow it away. “Who can? That’s like half the point of reading.” 

How can interaction feel so over and just at its beginning all at once? I press my lips together to avoid filling the silence with things I’d no doubt instantly regret. It’s easy to be mad at Kaz in the moment. Too easy. But to stay mad at him when his temper has passed and he returns with some kind of begrudging and admittedly awkward and uncertain truce is another task entirely. 

“I’ve never understood your attachment to written words.” 

“It’s not about understanding, it’s about everything else.” 

“And you say I’m cryptic.” Is he...kinda almost joking? I straighten my spine, too tired to fight and too wounded to forgive. “There’s understanding in everything, nothing can survive on sentiment alone.” 

“If you read the way I did, you’d understand.” 

His lips press together as his expression remains unwavering in its hardness. “Read to me.” 

...Interacting with Kaz in any way often leaves me feeling like I’m wandering through unknown territory. But this, this is undeniably different. So different I can’t even think of a way to react. I watch his expression as cautiously as possible. He’s purely reserved, no distinction from the look he wears during business propositions. Except there’s a tightness I can’t quite understand.

Maybe it’s because I don’t want to fight anymore. Maybe it’s because exhaustion is leaving me partially delirious. Or maybe it’s the weird feeling in my chest that I can’t quite place. That I don’t want to place. “Okay.” I shift carefully. “If for no other reason then to prove you wrong.” 

Never did I think I’d end up in the position of sitting in my bed, book in hand, with Kaz Brekker sitting next to me. But here we are. I’m so tired, I almost let out a nervous laugh when he first walked in. So brooding and tall, gripping the head of his head cane as he sits at the foot of my bed, on my pastel quilt. 

I’m glad for the excuse to keep my gaze away from him and on the words in front of me. I read out loud, feeling more and more comfortable with each page I finish. But as my inhibitions slip away, so dos my hold on consciousness. My eyelids seem to grow heavier with each word that I read. 

“You’re falling asleep.” 

I straighten my spine on instinct. “Am not.” I’m not sure why I feel the need to deny something so simple. 

“You’re impossible.” 

From him, that statement is laugh worthy. “I’m impossible? Do you not remember earlier today?” 

From the way his jaw locks, I realize that he’s in no mood to be light about this topic. I don’t understand why. It’s not like I’m the one that wronged him. “I remember your lack of focus.” 

Keeping my hands at my side to avoid rubbing my eyes, I frown. “If you want to have this argument again, fine. Jesper is more ‘distracted’ than me half the time and you’re much more lenient on him. It’s not like I was flirting with someone or gambling or doing anything but having a two second conversation. One that I needed to have to get information that you wanted.” 

The last time we fought, I had more energy to restrain myself. This could be atomic. I hold my breath, waiting for Kaz’s retaliation. He exhales, eyes not meeting mine. “Arguing with you when you’re present is exhausting enough. It’s not worth it when you’re half asleep.” 

This angers me further. I hate that he’s right. “I’m not half asleep.” He leaves it at that. I glare even harder at him, slumping further into my bed. “But for the sake of argument, I’ll drop it. Something you’re incapable of doing.” 

At that, his eyes meet mine. I try to hold his gaze, but the harder I think about not seeming tired the more exhaustion slips in. A yawn escapes me before he looks away. Great. “I know when to lie in the grass in wait.” 

Rolling my eyes, I shift back slightly. He’s incapable of being less dramatic than this. Still, I can’t imagine the effort it’s taking on his part to not start an argument. Maybe this is why Jesper spent so long implying that there may be a Kaz and I in any capacity beyond a vague kind of friendship. “I’ll admit you’re tactful.”

“Resourceful people recognize that trait in other people.” 

Blinking twice, I lower my book slightly. Am I truly exhausted, or did he just compliment me in a way? “Careful, I may start to think you find me tolerable.” 

“Let’s not exaggerate.” Okay, now I know I’m exhausted because I think he might have just attempted a joke. Rolling my eyes, I decide not to acknowledge this lightness in fear that I’ll scare it away. “Y/n?” 

I press my lips together, worried about the destruction of our peace. “Yes?” 

“What did Jesper say to you? Earlier?” I pause, slightly unsure why we’re moving backwards. 

We’re in a decent place now, and I’d hate to ruin it. I’m too half asleep to lie eloquently. And it’s not like he’s an easily convinced man. “Oh, he said it so cryptically it took me longer than it should have to understand. And it didn’t help that it was something so...well, you might find it funny. As funny as you find anything, anyways.” Wow...I’ve spent such a long time talking. Rubbing the back of my eyes, I avoid his gaze. Exhaustion and awkwardness mix in my stomach oddly. “It seemed like he was trying to imply that you and I...me and you...” Why is this a difficult thing to say? It’s not like I was implying it and Jesper’s known for his oddness. “I think Jesper was implying that there was a you and I, or at least that there could be.” I’m too lost in a haze of almost sleep to watch his reaction. I let my head rest against my headboard even further. “Isn’t that odd?” 

He’s quiet for a long second, and then he finally speaks again. “Odd, even for Jesper.” The response doesn’t satiate me...what’s that about? I exhale, deciding that feeling is tomorrow’s problem. When I blink, I decide to let my eyes stay closed. Just for a moment. The sound of something shifting is what makes my eyes squint open. Kaz is standing, his expression unreadable as he straightens. “Goodnight, y/n.” 

At that, I sit up slightly, ignoring the exhaustion behind my eyes. “I haven’t finished the chapter.” 

“You’ve convinced me of enough.” A concession? How exhausted do I seem? My lips press together as I think of my next argument. Before I can get it out, Kaz leans forward. He grabs the quilt at the end of my bed and tosses it onto my legs casually. “Goodnight, y/n.” The meaning of his repetition is clear. His word is final. 

I find enough energy to manage a glare, but I pull the quilt over my legs anyways. “Goodnight, Kaz.”

[mysterystarz]

the romance checklist:

summary: a chance meeting with kageyama has you striking up a bet to see if one of you could fall in love with the other before the year was up. cue the romance checklist, a piece of paper that molded your fate and his.

pairing: kageyama tobio x g!n reader

word count: 3.2k

genres + themes: literally pure fluff, reader is a first-year karasuno student, reader is also kind of a romantic

warnings: none

a/n: so this is my first time writing for kageyama and i know he's probably pretty out of character, so my apologies!! this was inspired off some headcannons i wrote for one of my irl friends, and this wiki-how article which i used to structure the actual checklist! to all my lovely kags simps, this is for you <3 (also to all the people who hate angst, you lucked out bc i was about to add an angst part but got lazy)

You had never thought a trip to the vending machine could be so eventful.

It had been lunch break, and you found yourself wandering towards the machine, money in hand as your eyes trailed the snacks. It had become routine to sneak away during lunch hours for this, enjoying the fresh autumn breeze as you bought your snacks. It had always given you time to think and the time to recompose yourself when you didn’t have a clue what to do.

Usually it also provided you with time alone.

That wasn’t the case today though. Standing in front of the vending machines was Kageyama Tobio, frantically pushing the button for milk with a grumpy sort of scowl on his face. From the distance you stood, you could make out his height and the way he tapped his foot continuously, as if he didn’t have the time to wait for the milk to be dispensed from the spot.

Strolling up to the spot, you stood silently next to him, watching the way he retrieved the milk from the slot wordlessly as he walked away, not even a glance in your direction.

You knew full well who he was. In fact, you could barely walk through the halls of school without hearing a murmur about the prodigy setter and his closed off ways. The girls found him intriguing from afar, and while they never dared to approach him, they all wanted to.

You hadn’t really understood what they saw in him. He was average...if not below that in academics, and he seemed to dedicate most of his time to volleyball, not caring much for other people. He didn’t seem to have many friends, and was almost always grumpy.

All of this should’ve been reason enough to avoid him, and yet you couldn’t help but be intrigued. There was something about him that was different. You just needed to find out what that was.

The next day came around, and sure enough, he stood at the machine again, toe-tapping as his milk was dispensed from the slot. This time his eyes scanned the courtyard as if he was seeking something before they finally landed on you.

You weren’t prepared for the full impact of his gaze. It was calculated and pointed, with some sort of intent that was expressed in every inch of those dark blue eyes. You weren’t put off by it.

In fact, it was charming in its own way.

“Are you looking for something Kageyama?” You asked as you walked towards him, pulling a few yen out of your pocket. “You’re staring.”

“I’m not.” He deadpanned, his eyes still trained on you as you selected a snack from the machine’s buttons. “I see you everywhere. Who are you?”

You hadn’t expected that. You knew he was observant...when it came to volleyball specifically, but never realized how it translated anywhere else. “I’m Y/L/N Y/N.”

You weren’t sure what else to say to him. Gently grabbing your snack, you politely nodded at him before leaving him behind, the thoughts rapidly accumulating in your brain. Did he notice you the entire time? Why did he ask? Did he know something? Was he planning to use you as some example to the other girls who wanted to know him?

You wish you had an answer.

Unfortunately, you couldn’t think of any.

It had been two weeks since you had met Kageyama by the vending machines. It had now become routine to expect him there during your lunch breaks, milk box in hand as he regarded your very presence with something that felt a whole lot like curiosity. Every now and then he’d offer commentary on the mundane happenings of Karasuno, or ask about you, but you weren’t sure how you could hold a conversation with just these things.

“Kageyama.” You nodded, strolling towards the machine as you always did. He whipped around almost immediately, offering a solemn nod in return, clutching his milk box.

“Y/L/N.” He murmured, taking a sip of his box.

“Have you ever thought about love?” You found yourself asking, internally screaming at the word choice. Great, now he was going to think that you were some crazy person.

“I think so…?.” Was what he offered in response. His features seemed to soften at this question though as he scrunched his brows in thought. “What type of love?”

You raised a brow at him in question. “Kageyama...what type of love are you talking about?”

“Well...I love volleyball and milk.” He shrugged. “That counts.”

“That...wasn’t the type I was referring to.” You said, suppressing the laughter that bubbled into your chest. “I was talking about the other kind.”

“The other kind is stupid.” Kageyama replied instantaneously. “There’s nothing special to it.”

You felt confusion seep into your system before you quieted it, letting your mind wander. With Kageyama’s status, you assumed that he’d at least thought of the concept at least once, although it seemed that he’d never even pondered the idea altogether!

“You’d have to feel it to come to that conclusion,” you countered, “Have you?”

“No,” he scoffed, “It’s still stupid.”

“Why?” You asked, feeling the curiosity surface. “Any specific reason?”

“Why would anyone want to dedicate all their time to another person?” Kageyama asked straight back, his gaze unwavering. “I just don’t see the point.”

You stared back at him, feeling the challenge bubble in your veins. “I bet...I can make you fall in love with someone by the end of the school year.”

At that moment, the boy in front of you looked thoroughly surprised, throwing his empty milk box at the garbage can nearby. He seemed speechless to some extent, as if he wasn’t able to process the words that had just left your mouth.

“And what happens if you can’t?” He asked, hesitantly bringing his gaze to your face. “What then?”

“I’ll buy you milk for a whole month.” You placed your hands on your hip as you kept your glare firm. “I stick to that.”

“Okay then,” he sighed, “Game on.”

With a shake of your hands, you cemented your fate.

You would win that bet. That much was certain.

“What’s this Y/L/N?” Kageyama asked, pointing at the piece of paper you held at him. “How are you going to win a bet with this?”

The two of them stood in the courtyard of Karasuno, the fresh autumn breeze rippling the paper you held in your hand. It had been a good day so far, and Kageyama had surprisingly stuck to his resolve, meeting you at the vending machine when he could’ve easily avoided you.

It was always more fun to challenge a competent opponent.

“This is the romance checklist.” You grinned proudly. “This has all the things we need to get you to fall in love.”

“How is it fair if you don’t do the checklist’s things too?”

“Well, that’s why I’m doing them with you.” You responded, already anticipating these types of questions. “I drafted the checklist off of the things I’ve observed over the years that should totally lead to feelings of love!”

“Whatever.” Kageyama said, his blue eyes scanning the paper’s contents. “How do you plan to do this?”

“We follow the steps.” You nodded. “Since I’m doing this with you, it’ll be foolproof.”

“Y/L/N...what if we competed against each other?” He mumbled. “We follow the checklist and use it against each other. Whoever falls in love first loses.”

“Do you really want to risk that?” You smirked, “That’s a bold move you’re making.”

Kageyama stood up straighter at this, the challenge burning deep in his eyes. “I’m going to win, so it won’t be an issue.”

“Suit yourself,” you grinned. “I’ll be winning this anyways.”

He simply smirked as he looked down at the paper, the promise of a challenge fresh and bright between them.

STEP ONE: MEET SOMEONE

After a long time, you had finally gotten some free time away from schoolwork and the obligations that pinned you down. It was a rare occurrence with the amount of pressure that the college prep class placed on you, and you intended to make the most of it.

You found yourself on the pathway of a cafe you used to frequent in the summer with your friends. It had always been a place to collect your thoughts and let your worries float away with every sip of one of the immaculately crafted beverages that they offered there. You felt your lips twitch in an involuntary smile at the memories.

“Y/L/N?” You heard a voice call out, a shocking contrast to the normal chattering you heard within the shop. Looking up, you were met with Kageyama’s eyes, narrowed and confused as you sat at the table frozen. “What are you here for?”

“It's a break for me,” you shrugged, “I come here all the time. I haven’t seen you here before.”

“They have good drinks,” Kageyama replied bluntly. A few beats of silence passed between them, with neither of them knowing what to add to the conversation.

“You can sit down with me.” You offered, gesturing to the empty seat across from you. “The more the merrier.”

He didn’t question this as he slid into the seat, fingers drumming on the table as he looked at the window. From your point of view, it was almost picturesque the way he managed to appear. His blue eyes were focused on the trees outside, and his posture was ever so casual and relaxed as he sat there, as if he had no other care in the world.

It was unfair how model-like he managed to appear, even despite the fact he wasn’t trying.

Ah. Perhaps this is what the girls at school noticed.

Once the drinks arrived at your table, the two of them drank in comfortable silence, admiring the flavors on their tongues as their surroundings continued on as normal. You didn’t feel the need to contribute anything to the silence, finding it calming in its own right.

“So Kageyama, are you feeling anything yet?” You teased, setting down your half-empty cup.

“No.” He admitted, setting down his drink as well. “I am supposed to?”

“Well technically no, but it’d be good if you did.” You chuckled, finding amusement in the cluelessness of his ways. “Step one of the romance checklist: meet somebody.”

“We already met though.” He countered, “How does this count as anything?”

“Well, we just encountered each other out of nowhere.” You smiled, “That counts as a meeting in my book.”

He wrapped his mind around this information, nodding solemnly. “I guess so then. I still don’t feel anything.”

“Neither do I.” You said, willing the slight butterflies in your stomach to subside. It was really nothing. This was simply a chance meeting, nothing more than luck and fate that had you encounter each other today of all days.

You shouldn’t have been affected this quickly. You felt far too warm, far too...fuzzy, for a meeting of chance. It was simply far too intimate.

Well, it seemed that Kageyama had gotten the one upon you at this stage.

You’d beat him next time. You knew you would.

STEP TWO: FLIRT

“You look good today Kags,” you smirked, feeling a sense of satisfaction creep up in your veins at his flushed cheeks,

Over the course of the weeks spent together, you had been able to learn more about the mysterious boy in front of you and had even formed a friendship of sorts. For starters, he was flustered very easily, which is why you decided to make your move so early in the morning.

“I look like how I do every day, dumbass!” He growled, the red deepening in his cheeks when you merely winked in response.

Ah yes. He tended to insult those he befriended. That was yet another endearing thing about the boy in front of you.

“No, something is different today,” you commented, “Did you do something with your hair?”

“No,” he frowned, the flush never subsiding from his cheeks. “Why are you doing this to me?”

“I’m just saying genuine things you know.” You laughed, punching his shoulder casually. “Besides, I think I’m succeeding so far.”

“Succeeding? This is that stupid checklist again, isn’t it?” He sighed. “Step two: flirting. What is the point of this again?”

“It’s to show interest.” You remarked. “Besides, if you want me to fall for you, you’re going to at least have to act like you’re interested in me. I know it’s working on you so far.”

“No it’s not!” He yelled, although the defense was half-hearted. You knew he was merely putting up a front. You could tell it from his body posture alone.

You had the upper hand right now.

You waved him goodbye as you entered the Karasuno grounds, climbing the stairs to reach your class as he walked in the opposite direction. Even if you had the upper hand right now, you knew that you had to be on-guard the rest of the day.

If there was one thing you knew very well in the time you had spent with Kageyama, it was that he was extremely competitive. There was no way he’d ever go down without a fierce fight, especially when a month’s worth of milk was on the line.

You had been absolutely right to doubt him.

When lunchtime rolled around, he stood at the vending machine like he always did, leaning against it casually as he waited for you, his focus placed on the entrance.

The first thing you noticed was how calm he was. There was none of his usual frantic energy or the practiced insults that you threw back at one another. He simply stood there, content, as he watched you make your entrance.

The second thing you noticed was how an unconscious smile crept onto his face when you waved at him and slipped away the minute your eyes darted to his mouth. He sipped his milk casually, although you knew that internally, he was definitely scheming.

He could be a gremlin if left untapped.

You were about to purchase your snack in silence, thinking about all the ways he could win against you when you felt his hand on your shoulder. Turning around, you saw him holding out a container of your favorite snack, handing it to you wordlessly.

What?

“I thought I would get it today,” he shrugged, taking a sip of his milk. “You’ve bought me milk sometimes. It’s only fair.”

He didn’t consider it much of a big deal, but you felt your heart begin to accelerate in its pace at the thoughts that came flying into your head.

He had paid attention to your favorite snack? He had actually cared about when you bought him milk?

He noticed all of this?

“You...have a nice smile.” He mumbled, a flush rising onto his cheeks once again. You felt yourself fluster a bit at the compliment, not used to hearing it that often.

“Uhhh thanks.” You exhaled, not knowing how to respond to such an out-of-the-blue remark. “Your smile looks a lot like the Cheshire cat you know.”

For a moment his face was contorted into an expression of horror before he laughed a bit, the low chuckles sending heat straight to your cheeks.

Damn it. His laugh was adorable.

It was a low chiming sound, but it still managed to uplift your spirits in the brief time that you heard it. It was absolutely perfect.

You’d like to hear it again if you could.

A small smile was on his face as he looked to the ground, thinking about something while you took the time to really look at him. Behind the stone exterior, was someone talented, clueless, and amusing in every way you could possibly imagine.

You noticed how his posture mirrored yours, and the way how he smiled when your eyes finally met his own.

Damn it! He got the one-up on you. Again.

STEP THREE: GO ON THRILLING DATES

“Tobio! Let’s go on this one!” You yelled as you dragged him towards the large rollercoaster that caught your eye.

It was a beautiful Saturday with the most perfect weather. Sunny skies met a fresh breeze as you dragged Kageyama around the amusement park you had insisted on going to together. He kept with your quick pace as you went from ride to ride, never once letting go of his hand.

If anything, you were more confused why he didn’t comment on the fact that you had been holding hands that long. Rather he silently followed you from ride to ride, occasionally commenting on how small it looked for them.

From where you stood, the rollercoaster looked positively incredible with the multiple loops and drops in its track. This certainly fit the bill for thrilling. Maybe Kageyama could finally agree to ride this one.

“Y/N, do we really have to do this one?” He asked, his gaze not tearing away from the ride. “Doesn’t it look a bit too small for us?”

“Well if it’s too small, then we can still ride it as a joyride, don’t you think?” You grinned as you shoved him into the line of the coaster. Soon enough, it was your turn as you were ushered into the seats while the employees strapped you and Kageyama into the rollercoaster.

The wait was excruciating, with every second that passed sending a wave of anticipation and adrenaline through your system. Looking to your side, you saw Kageyama’s face, which was composed, even though his fingers drummed rapidly on the bar.

Was he nervous?

Hesitantly, you reached to clasp your hands together, relishing in the feeling of your palm on his as the rollercoaster suddenly began moving, bringing you up the tall lift hill.

“Tobio, are you okay?” You questioned as you neared the top, the grip he had on your hand tightening ever so slightly.

“I’m fine!” He yelled, just as the roller coaster fell over the lift hill, sending them into a plummeting drop.

You felt the exhilarating feeling of soaring as the ride propelled you forward, shouts of glee leaving your mouth ever so often. On the other hand, all you heard from Kageyama was the occasional shout of horror when they encountered yet another drop on the track, the grip he had on your hand deathly tight.

“Tobio! You’re afraid of rollercoasters?!” You shouted as you were guided into a loop.

“No I’m not!” He shouted back, shutting his eyes when he was finally upright again. “They just make me feel like I’m about to die!” When he opened his eyes, they first found yours in a look that was both petrified and fond. “I think I lost the bet!”

“You did what?!” You yelled as the wind rippled in your ears again.

“The bet Y/N! I think I’m in love with you!” He yelled. “I thought I should tell you before we die!”

You felt your heart soar at the words that had just been exchanged, a testament to the budding feelings you had felt for months around him.

“We’re not going to die.” You sighed as the ride finally slowed, feeling exhilarated as you smiled at him. “I love you too.”

Stepping off the rollercoaster, Kageyama was more silent than anything, red flush adorning his cheeks as you massaged soothing circles onto his hand. “We both lost it in the end.” You laughed.

“I think it was worth it,” he chuckled, the beautiful chime, showing you that he meant every word.

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