#through and how that might just have impacted his behaviour/actions

[gaytobymeres]

People are kind of mean about Morse and how his relationship with Monica ended. Did he treat her well when it ended? No, and I don’t dispute that and she certainly did not deserve that. But he was framed and put in prison for something he didn’t commit, had to accept the cover up of massive really horrific corruption/crimes, saw his father figure shot in front of him- no wonder he was not as kind or considerate as he should have been he was going through a lot! He was hurting, traumatised, angry

[patchwork-crow-writes]

Why Good Doggies Are Also Bad Doggies

(And What That Means For MyHouse.wad)

There are two dogs in MyHouse.wad. One's a sweet, harmless puppy, and the other's a relentless, deadly hellhound. Both of these dogs reside in what's commonly known as the Brutalist house, a vast concrete structure that shifts in size from small to large as you explore it.

The smaller dog, quite naturally, provides little in the way of an obstacle, and indeed its presence is surprisingly uplifting in such a bleak, sad game. It's the big, two-headed brute, the "Bad Doggy", that aims to prevent your progres; it's swift, deals a lot of damage, and takes a lot of firepower to subdue. It rules the space it resides in with an iron jaw, and will not take no for an answer. Your only options are to avoid it, or to kill it.

But there's a catch - kill the Bad Doggy, and the Good Doggy also dies. And while this does open up a loophole to allow you to deal with the Bad Doggy with no risk - killing the Good Doggy yourself - the fact remains that an innocent creature's life has to end for your journey to become easier.

Of course, you know this, and likely opted to "spare" the Bad Doggy so that the Good Doggy could join you on the beach at the end. And yes, the sight of our canine friend napping by the waves does help to complete the sense of a "good" ending - or at least, a "peaceful" one.

But... have you ever stopped to consider what this actually means? How, rather than being a throwaway device to make you feel sad, or a lazy reference to Tom's fear of dogs, this "Good Doggy"/"Bad Doggy" actually serves to reinforce the core message of MyHouse.wad?

Consider these dogs again... or rather, consider this dog. Singular.

There is one dog in MyHouse.wad. Sometimes it is a Good Doggy, playful and diligent and affirming to our wellbeing. Other times, it is a Bad Doggy, aggressive and domineering and striking fear into our hearts. Kill one, the other dies. You cannot separate the two. Where the Good Doggy goes, the Bad Doggy must inevitably follow.

How do you stop a Bad Doggy from being a Bad Doggy? You can't, not entirely. A Bad Doggy is bad only in the context of its owner's view of it. A doggy that shreds the furniture, is overly-aggressive in its interactions with its owners, jealously guards spaces and important objects, is deemed bad because of its actions. When it exhibits behaviours that are more paletable to the humans that care for it, it becomes a Good Doggy.

As a child, Tom was scared of his family's pet dog. Viewed through the lens of a terrified young boy, a dog that might be only the most loving and attentive creature, excited to play with someone similar to it in size, may appear vicious and unrelenting, causing fear and injury with its exuberent actions and disregard for its own strength. These experiences, whatever form they might have taken, left a visceral impact on Tom, as we see in his sketchbook containing the multiple-headed hellhound.

What happened to that dog? Was it ever rehabilitated? Did its status as a Good Doggy outweigh the trauma it potentially inflicted upon Tom's psyche? Or... did something else happen to it? Were its actions deemed too harmful, too Bad, to continue living with its owners?

We can only speculate on these points, but they do serve to provide an answer to the above question on how to stop Bad Doggies - you get rid of them. Give them away, abandon them, put them to sleep. Problem solved. But that doesn't just remove the Bad Doggy from the picture - it also eliminiates the Good Doggy that can provide comfort and companionship, as well as any potential future joy that same doggy could bring to its owners.

Which brings us back to the beach, and our Good Doggy having a nice nap there. Of course, I'm sure you've realised, it's also the Bad Doggy.

But what exactly does that mean for our "perfect", "happy", "peaceful" ending? Are we going to be savaged on the beach the moment we let our guard down, having fought so hard for the happiness we were so desparate to recover? Of ocurse not. But consider what its potential presence means for the future.

The Good and Bad Doggy are inexorably linked. To have the potential for joy and companionship and love, you must also accept the possibility of pain, conflict and loss. For better or worse, the bad has to come with the good - either you have both, or you have nothing at all. That's why there's no dog at the fake beach - that ending represents attempting to escape bad things altogether, but the world that results is unsatisfying and devoid of meaning. The reason things hurt so much is precisely because of the joy that came before it. Denying pain and sorrow is no better than giving up on life.

To live a meaningful life, we sometimes have to accept people as they come, warts and all.

Happiness, as Steve opines at the end of his journal, has to be fought for. But the fight doesn't stop just because you won once. Having resolved to come to terms with the world as it is, the world where your dearest friend has died, you therefore choose to re-enact that battle every single day. Some days it's easier. Some days, it's torture. That's what being alive is all about. That's what makes the moments of peace, the moments when Good Doggies really are Good Doggies and nothing more, all worth it in the end.

Thank you for reading :)

[bird-inacage]

Only Friends: Can Ray be Redeemed? Is Sand the Solution?

I know Ray has upset a lot of people in Episode 8. I do find it really fascinating how quickly the tide has turned on him, especially when you compare his actions to those of our villains of the first arc: Boston and Top. Perhaps I'm in the minority, but I still choose to believe that Ray does care. He's hugely misguided but not heartless.

Let me firstly preface that none of what I'm about to say excuses Ray's behaviour but is an attempt to unpack why I still hold hope.

A child lost with no anchor

Ray is emotionally immature (which as cliché as it sounds, is a direct product of his upbringing - or lack thereof). He largely operates on basic needs, as a child would: 'I want. I need'. It's all based on serving the self. He seems wildly incapable of thinking very far beyond that. Like a child, he can barely take care of himself, let alone anyone else. He's pretty helpless on his own in a lot of respects. Most people grow out of this. Through knocks and hardship, we learn the world doesn't revolve around us and how to equip ourselves with healthy and appropriate means to navigate through life. Ray however, still seems to be stuck in his infantile box.

I often joke that Ray is a bit feral, but there is some truth to that. Ray's been left to his own devices for the majority of his life. So it's no surprise he's developed this 'me against the world' attitude which is volatile and defensive, but ultimately keeps him caged in said box.

These traits are abundantly apparent in his relationship with Mew. Ray is the vehicle for Mew's self-destruction, but all he sees is the exhilaration of having a 'partner in crime', someone to be in 'cahoots with'. Like a pair of naughty school kids getting into mischief, rather than an adult partnership. Ray is all about immediate gratification over long term fulfilment because (as children do), they don't possess the wisdom and experience to think ahead. Ray seems unable to grasp repercussions or consequences in his decision making. It's always act first, think second.

To put it simply, Ray hasn't been taught boundaries and how to respect them. He just gets criticised for crossing them which doesn’t help him learn. No one has had the patience to teach him why and how. To guide, to steer, to direct, to mentor. To educate rather than scold. Prevention rather than cure. As a result, everyone around Ray serves to clean up his messes rather than equip him with the ability to not create them in the first place. He falls into patterns of behaviour that no one has seriously attempted to break which has only amplified with adulthood. The longer those habits prevail, the harder they are to change.

Does Ray harbour ill-will or bad intent?

Is Ray the worst? In my opinion, no. (Not yet anyway - I might eat my words later, who knows). I've said this somewhere before but intent makes all the difference when judging someone's actions. Choosing to actively cause harm whilst being fully conscious of the impact versus triggering damage to occur as a symptom of your behaviour is vastly different. This is where Ray and Boston differ. Boston acts without remorse, he purposely and calculatingly makes choices that will cause the maximum degree of suffering. Whereas Ray's a loose cannon. He leaves a trail of destruction where he goes, due to a lack of control and means to channel how he feels in a constructive manner. Boston's victims are targets, whereas Ray's victims are collateral.

I don't think Ray means to purposely hurt or harm the people he cares about. Because in doing so, he'll push them away - which is precisely what he doesn't want. (Though saying that, Ray doesn't seem to give as much of a damn if it's people he isn't invested in, such as Top). Ray's world consists of what Ray needs. It's not that he doesn't care about a single person besides himself, he's just so wrapped up in his own needs to even gauge the bigger picture.

When others do point out to Ray that he's hurt them, he does tend to look guilty and taken aback, as if he's thinking, 'But I didn't know. No one told me. I had no idea my actions would cause you to be upset'. Painful levels of ignorance. But I also see a huge amount of internalised frustration. 'But why? Why didn't anyone explain this to me? How was I to know?'

Ray is capable of showing remorse, of displaying guilt. He's not cold-blooded. Anyone who can demonstrate compassion is capable of redemption. Ray is seen to be genuinely appreciative and grateful when people are good to him. He's fiercely protective over people he cares about. Ray was also willing to jump in when Sand gets a call from his mum being in trouble.

One thing I do have to stress is the difference in Ray's demeanour when he's severely drunk/high versus when he's sober. His addiction tends to amplify his most primal desires, his most 'childlike' traits. The uglier sides of Ray presented in their worst light, set to maximum. The raging tantrums, the absurd and unpredictable demands, an explosive and dangerous impulsiveness. People often refer to addiction as a form of sickness, which is worth noting when the person under scrutiny is effectively not well.

Learning by Example

Now let's talk about the huge importance of Sand in this equation.

Let me be clear - it's not Sand's responsibility to teach Ray how to grow up or behave more like a functioning adult. It's neither his duty to be a stand-in parent or caretaker. The unfortunate truth is that Ray doesn't have anyone in his life who plays that role. Who is the voice of reason. To keep him on the straight and narrow. In order to actually incite change, Ray needs to be receptive to whoever is trying to help him. We've seen he doesn't respond particularly well to the majority of people in his life. He's defensive with his father, his friends, deflective and pandering with Mew. The only person he's seen to show any signs of actually listening to and registering is Sand.

Whilst it's not fair on Sand, he might be the only person who has any real chance of encouraging healthy and positive growth in Ray. Because Sand loves Ray, he genuinely wants to see improvement for Ray's own good. I don't think it's a coincidence that we tend to see Ray's more endearing side when he's with Sand. His childlike qualities take on a sweeter, more harmless, playful tone.

He needs someone with an almost parental level of unconditional love to not give up on him, where others have thrown in the towel. Ray's character is essentially a personified cry for help. His mother was unable to cope. His father seems chronically exasperated and far too busy to actually be present. His friends have always seen him as bothersome and too much of a handful.

I personally don't want to write Ray off as a lost cause. Ironically, Sand may be the saviour he didn't ask for, but the one he really needs. Someone who can save him from himself.

[sunset-sprinkles]

Some of Seung-hyo's actions and reactions might have come weird or out of character for us - and that makes sense too. Cause he was fighting a lot of battles in his head (not that makes some of his actions justifiable). Well I am here to point out the dialogues that acted as a stimulus to his confession, and why? Because they elements some factors that had kept him from expressing himself.

1. Fear of unresolved trauma and emotional baggage.

Seunghyo carrying a baggage of his parents relationship which he might not show , but has a great impact on his behaviours and outlook. Though it might not be highlighted in the drama it's not easy for a child to overcome the trauma of unsuccessful relationships of their parents.

"Have some alone time with the pool. You have to create a new future. Make sure it's a nice goodbye to the past"

Goodbye to the past, is leaving away all the baggage - trauma and the outlook that those actions created.

2. Fear of rejection and change in the relationship.

He might fear that his feelings are not reciprocated and that confessing could lead to rejection. That his confessing could lead to a change in their dynamics what if she runs away from him, he could no longer even be a part of her life anymore? But the constant fear of loosing her in both the situations either by confession or by letting her go kept knocking in his mind. And in all this we saw him contemplating about what the ending , outcome this would lead to, but does it really matter when your feelings are so deeply routed?? Do you ever have a "perfect timing" for expressing love- or Love is all about timing

"No matter how carefully I shape the clay. No one knows how beautifully it will come out of fire. Will it become a perfectly formed vessel? Or will it crack and shatter to pieces? You won't know until it goes in the kiln."

So you can never fear the outcome if you don't even try to go for it. As simple as that!

3. Holding onto missed opportunities.

Over the years, there have been several opportunities to confess, but he has missed them, leading to regret and further hesitation. But the fact that no matter how difficult and unsure the situations would have been it was always he himself who could have done it. Waiting for the right opportunity, depending on situations and circumstances won't fruit you rewards. He just needed to get over his regret and stop turning himself miserable "into a self-suffarance state".

"Seunghyo, you have to save yourself from unrequited love. Even I can't rescue you"

4. Conflict between Urgency and Inaction.

What exactly is the right time? When is it too early or too late? Do you really think we can predict or realise these things in real sense? We only understand it after a series of events that have taken place. So if there is no event or action how can you predict the outcome or fate of something?The fear of being too late caused him to avoid the situation altogether, convincing himself that it's better not to act than to act too late. The jealousy that would push him to action rather deepened his fear of not being right on time (once again).

"There once was an athlete in 200 m event whose weakness was being slow off the blocks. But despite this, he overcame it through his tireless efforts , even if it's a bit late. I'd tell him to muster up the courage , just like the swimmer did"

So it doesn't matters if you are late or early, what matters is taking up the courage to try expressing what you mean.

---------------------------------------------------

Though his actions have been confusing. He was going back and forth, avoiding and running behind yet going mad and crazy. It's my own thoughts that we should cut him a slack this time and consider his indecisiveness as result of all the things going inside his head.

[ranchthoughts]

The Mundanity of Meanness

@waitmyturtles' posts over the last few episodes of Only Friends (1, 2) have got me thinking.

There's so much casual cruelty among the friend group of Boston, Cheum, Mew, and Ray - all the little pointed comments or assumptions that always jump to the worst faith/most uncharitable conclusion. Mew's birthday at the bar was ripe with them - Cheum happily saying everyone has a lover, even "a heartless slut like Boston," while Ray is sitting right there; Mew assuming Ray was in the bathroom to get high, then lecturing him and saying he won't live past 30, etc. - but we've seen it throughout the show. Remarking to the professor that Boston won't do anything, as expected... not worrying about how Ray got home or why he isn't answering his calls because he is probably drunk... and so on. In their interactions with each other they've come to tolerate, to expect, meanness and toxicity.

The newcomers to the friend group aren't exempt either - look at what Sand puts up with from Ray, or what Nick puts up with from Boston. I thought it was interesting that the most sincere and heartfelt apology in episode 7 was from Sand to Nick - Sand really seemed to grasp how his comments and actions hurt Nick, even if he doesn't agree with his life choices. It puts into perspective the behaviour of the core four's friend group, where the apologies last episode were mostly insincere or forced in some way. Sand and Nick seem to have lived a life with less of this mundane meanness around, compared to the friend group - they aren't used to treating each other poorly.

The moment that really caught my attention this episode was Boston at the pool fight scene saying "It was unintentional" when pushed to apologize to Mew for sleeping with Top. Mew is pissed ("Unintentional, my ass"), but I think in a lot of ways it was! Boston wanted to sleep with Top. He did. End of story. Obviously, Boston also has his superiority complex about Mew and they have their ideological war around sex going on, and sleeping with Mew's boyfriend does contribute to Boston "winning" in those areas, but Boston also just doesn't think of consequences, he doesn't think about other people. That's what this friend group is all about: YOLO and living in the moment, being self-absorbed.

However, even if the results of their actions were "unintentional," that doesn't absolve Boston or any of the other characters from the hurt they cause. Impact vs. intention. Boston might not have intended to get Mew SO upset at his sleeping with Top (Boston has a different mindset than Mew around sex and exclusivity), Mew might not have intended to drum up Top's fire trauma when he burned the sketch, Ray might not intend to wound Sand with every comment about his lifestyle, but they need to realize/learn that other people are coming at things with their own baggage and through their own lenses and that they need take accountability for their actions and words, even if they themselves don't see harm in them. What might not be a big deal to them might be a big deal to someone else.

The final point I've been musing on is at the simple, everyday, mundanity of all this. Often as fans we've been looking for connections, for forethought and calculation in the actions of the characters, and there is nothing wrong with that. However, I think its important to acknowledge that real harm can come too from unintentional or unthinking actions or comments. It doesn't always have to be a carefully thought out evil plan or a targeted attack. Sometimes people just do what's best for them and don't think about how others would conceive of or react to their actions... especially young people and especially self-absorbed wealthy young people.

[magicaldragons]

order in the court!

a ryu si-o analysis

in view of the upcoming episode today, we're going to do a mini-deep-dive on ryu si-o, so grab a snack, a glass of water, get comfortable, and buckle in:

now, we'll be looking at his psychology based on what we know about him for sure + byeon woo seok's portreyal of the character

1. emotions

we can see throughout the whole series that ryu si-o is someone who 'talks' through his body and actions. his words are too straightforward and candid. he keeps his sentences to the point and includes many quotes from his childhood, which implies that he doesn't plan his words or think too much about subtext or manipulation through speaking, his words are just a means of communication to him. his real mode of expression is through his body language.

obviously, since his childhood, any expression of emotion which didn't show authority, or control would cause more harm than anything – meaning that anger is probably the only emotion he would never have had to hide, and he would've actively practiced seeming confident in all situations. We see his body language in public always coming off as very condescending: his stance, his posture, etc. and we know it's a practiced behaviour, because he sheds all these actions when he's by himself at home.

Publically, we see si-o mostly express anger/disapproval + his classic, almost devious smile he has around most strangers.

the only other emotion we've seen him express publically is: his fondness for nam-soon.

his only experience of friendship was through this boy, binbin, who made sacrifices for him and was probably present during his darkest times, including when they decided to runaway.

receiving that type of love, as a child, especially from someone he would have considered an equal, would have definitely impacted his views on allowing himself to receive love and knowing what it feels like. he clearly doesn't shy away from the vulnerability of the emotion, or the warmth of it, because i don't think he's ever personally seen it as a weakness. rather, he's seen it as something that gave him strength in a place that held him down.

and because he knows what it feels like to receive that sort of warmth, he definitely had no problem giving it to nam-soon.

we know that his feelings for her have developed from viewing her as the 'perfect weapon', and wanting to use her because it's so clear that, while he seems persistent in trying to keep nam-soon on his side, he wants her to choose him for exactly who he. he would truly tell/give her anything she asked for, even at cost to himself.

a man who saw her as a 'means to a goal' would have no trouble using force at any point, or treating her recklessly, but you see the care he holds for her and his instinct to protect her, even from himself.

at the same time though, because of his training, and maybe because of an experience we might find out about later, he knows logically, that relationships are pressure points that can be targeted. so it's definitely something he consciously chooses to display, and nam-soon's strength probably helped him be less hesitant in making his feelings for her obvious.

again, his expression of his affection is mostly proved through his body language, in his gaze, and how badly he wants to be relied upon to provide for her, because it's the only type of love that he knows: to need someone. Or rather, to be needed. verbally, he's very direct in his statement of emotions, as if he loses nothing to reveal them, and this shows that he does not associate expressing emotions like affection, interest, or even rejection with embarassment, which makes sense considering: nothing is truly embarrassing when you’ve spent almost every day of your life trying to be useful enough to be kept alive, which leads us to our final emotion:

fear, the one he holds the closest to himself.

it transforms him instantly, and brings back the ten year old version of himself.

we see his hands almost shaking when he goes to take a call from his contact in the mafia, and it means so much that he has such a tight lid on the rest of his emotions but cannot control this specific visceral fear he feels.

simultaneously, he views them as a type of parental figure, regardless of the damage they've done, and thinks of going against them as "rebelling" rather than escaping, which i also think has something to do with the outcome of his escape attempt in childhood.

fear is also the emotion he keeps the most guarded, because to reveal it, means death, quite literally.

he's very careful to put his mask back in place, everytime, and it's very clear if you look closely that the emotion fueling all his acts of violence comes directly from a place of fear.

the one time we've seen him show that side of himself, is to nam-soon unsurprisingly.

it proves how intuitively he had come to trust her, almost as if she were loyal to only him, and part of his mini-mafia – which is definitely a type of "with me or against me" mindset that's developed within him throughout all his years in the mafia.

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

Interested in your perception of Julia Baird’s portrait or Mimi vs more common narrative that Mimi rescued John from his mother Julia’s irresponsible parenting. I go back and forth between vilifying Mimi and considering that it might have been a challenging situation if Julia Baird’s dad was alcoholic and didn’t want John around. Although I lean towards holding Mimi accountable for getting social services involved to take away Julia’s custody rights….

First off: obligatory "It was a different time", except I do want to emphasize it, because it's not only to contextualize some of Mimi's behaviour that a lot of people might classify as emotional abuse nowadays, but because it affects literally all of this. Social mores dictated the actions not just of Mimi but of all the Stanley sisters, who in my view all enabled the situation to get as far as it did. And, most pertinently, I don't think people at the time really understood how damaging it is to all parties to separate a child from their parents (and tbh, especially their mother). My main takeaway from the whole situation, as well as what I've learned about "difficult homes" since, is that taking John away from Julia should have been an absolute last resort, unless there was extremely concrete evidence that Julia was being highly abusive towards him.

(and I do mean highly abusive. It, for instance, would not have done Paul and Mike any good to be separated from their father, even if Jim put them through hell at times [though of course, the extent of the abuse they suffered is debatable]. These situations are terrible all-around, but from what I can tell – and what I think John's story shows – breaking apart families is very rarely the best course of action.)

"But Julia was making little John share a bed with her and Bobby Dykins!" – okay, I see how this is potentially a problem, though it's from what I can tell entirely (implied? I don't know that she went so far as to say it out loud) conjecture on Mimi's part that John was made to witness adults having sex. In my opinion, the first course of action here should have been to help Julia out by acquiring a separate bed for John.

I recognize that Julia was probably often irresponsible and, from what I've read about her, I suspect she at times struggled with parenting in way similar to how John would later on – not due to a lack of love, per se, more due to a helplessness in the face of the true burden of taking care of someone and a difficulty comprehending the seriousness and scope of child-rearing. That being said, it's hard to fully blame her when she had her toddler taken away – because of her own sister, as you mention – and had to give up her second baby for adoption. That's twice-over the worst trauma a mother could endure* so it seems natural to me that she would have attachment issues with John later on. Again, helping Julia with her parenting instead of denying her the role of mother seems to me the best course of action here. (Oh look, it's my nuclear family take rearing its head again.)

*some people happily give up babies – I don't have much reason to believe Julia was one of them.

I also think Mimi thought she was doing the right thing and her decision to take John in admittedly made more sense when Uncle George was still alive. This is where the "It was a different time" comes back in, because it would be unfair of me to expect her to understand all the complexity I've been describing. I don't know that I believe Julia Baird's claim that Mimi instigated the entire situation so she could have John for herself – but there is perhaps a middle ground here, where Mimi loved her nephew a lot, felt no one was taking care of him the way she believed he needed, and let that blind her to the damage she was going to inflict by interfering the way she did.

It's difficult to fully assess Mimi's impact on John, because it seems the abandonment issues his early childhood instilled in him made him particularly loyal to her. Mimi was, if nothing else and above all, steadfast. (You can draw a parallel here to Yoko, though that's another discussion.) You aren't gonna find a ton of statements from him condemning her, and I definitely don't want to discount the genuine love they both had for each other. I appreciate that she didn't have an easy task, bringing him up, especially after being widowed, and I appreciate that she came through for him in significant ways.

The thing that motivated my (somewhat callous) post last night, was this:

"You wonder why John didn't have the strength to just say 'Look Mimi, I'm moving in with Mum.'" JULIA BAIRD: "Hm. Well, I remember the– a particular row in the kitchen, where he was going back [to Mendips] after the school holidays and he was crying. And my father [Bobby Dykins] said 'That's it. That's it. I've had enough. You stay here. I'll go and see Mimi. I will sort this out once and for all.' And John said 'Nononono, nonono. I've got to go. Don't tell Mimi.' That was another refrain [?]. 'My dream's out.' and 'Don't tell Mimi. Don't tell Mimi, don't tell Mimi.' She was fearsome, I can tell you. Fearsome." SOURCE: I am the Eggpod, Episode 100, 00:49:49

What I hate about the above quote the most is how often John, even as a teen, is conceptualized as this free-spirited rebel*; but looking at this, it hits extra hard that he was a child who had virtually no power in this situation the adults around him put him in.

*and writers like Mark Lewisohn are definitely not off the hook here; one of the things I find the most questionable about him as a biographer is that, despite his painfully obvious bias towards John, he still fails to contextualize huge chunks of John's childhood, preferring to defend Mimi at all cost.

Now, it does seem like there's some he-said/she-said going on regarding how much Bobby Dykins and John got along. I don't think John spoke super highly of him, but I also don't recall him expressing any larger issues with his pseudo step-father. Yes, Julia Baird is probably biased towards her own parents, but here's the thing: don't most of our pro-Mimi accounts come from her? Is John an unbiased source on the aunt who raised him?

So why should Julia Baird – whom I consider to be one of the most empathetic characters involved in Beatles history; rarely have I seen someone so interested in truly understanding their own family history, considering the cultural context, tying in her experience as a teacher in special needs and talking to multiple people to gain a fuller picture, even when a lot of it must've been incredibly painful for her – be seen as a less trustworthy source than Mimi – who we know has a history of editing stories to suit her:

I [Hunter Davies, the Beatles' official biographer] sent [the manuscript of the biography] to Mimi and she had hysterics. The chapter about his childhood came back with almost every paragraph heavily crossed out or amended. In the margins she had written beside John's own quotes such things as 'Rubbish', 'Never!' She denied so many of John's own memories of his childhood, especially if they contradicted her memories of the same people or events. She was against his use of bad language, as she maintained John had never sworn when he was little, and didn't want stories about him stealing. SOURCE: The Beatles by Hunter Davies, 2009 Introduction

The only thing Mimi has "going for her" as a source is that she was an adult and not a child when these events transpired. I think that's fair enough, and I do believe there are details to this story Julia Baird and we the public will never know, which made Mimi's decisions seem more justified to her and to her family. But that doesn't stop me from largely condemning most of the decisions made, even though I suspect Julia did at least on the surface agree with them.

[procrastinatorproject]

Yes, it is once again abominably late 🙈 In my defense, as of today I am on sick leave, so I have some time to gently coax my sleeping rhythm back into a more acceptable time frame.

But for now: Here is another snippet!

I keep jumping wildly between WIPs. This one also goes into the Emil-prompt-collection, though this is Rios's chapter (which I just started now). Or it will be, eventually. Sometimes you need to spend 500+ words pondering the nature of the medical emergency (hologram)...

---

For the seventh time in the last twelve hours, Emil called up the neurological readings on the biobed’s display and studied them intently. He could have simply let his programme interface with the ship’s medical systems (and somewhere in the depth of this code, this connection was being established to verify his visual input). But the motions of manually checking on his patient had something… calming, perhaps.

Of course, as a hologram, purpose built for medical emergencies, he did not need to perform calming actions for himself. He did not have emotions that needed to be addressed, not in the way his organic patients did. But in the year since his first activation, the EMH had found that his behavioural and socio-affective algorithms did benefit from performing certain actions that, in a human, might have been considered emotional regulation.

If anyone asked him, he could always say that he was gathering the data visually to calibrate his autonomic diagnostic algorithms. If he ever found himself disconnected from the ship’s various systems due to a technical emergency, he would have to deal with whatever crisis demanded his attention by solely relying on his perceptive subroutines.

Not that anyone would ever ask. Ian might give him a knowing look, but none of the other holograms were fully aware of the extent to which Emil could or couldn’t draw information directly from the ship’s computers. And their captain… well.

Emil looked down at the lifeless form of Captain Rios and heaved a deep sigh.

The neurological readings were still unchanged, which was both a good sign, in that his condition hadn’t deteriorated, and also absolutely no help whatsoever. There was no way to know how the radiation had affected the captain’s brain until he was awake, and none of the diagnostic tools could offer any hint as to when that might happen.

Emil dismissed the holographic interface with a huff and went over to the counter to re-sort his instrument stands. Sometimes, he really longed for the sophisticated technology that was standard issue on even modest Starfleet vessels. La Sirena was very well-equipped for her size and especially her age, but her neurological scanner couldn’t hold a candle to a full suite of neuro-psychiatric assessment units. It seemed a cruel twist to give an EMH all this knowledge about the precise function of cutting-edge medical technology and how it would help in any given moment — and then to strand them in a place where they had access to exactly none of it.

Emil twirled an empty hypo-spray through his fingers. Of course, he knew that it wasn’t cruelty. The EHs' creators understood the complexity of the programmes they were working on, and their was growing advocacy to look at complex holograms as more than simple computer routines devoid of dignity and unworthy of respect. But in the end, it came down to thoughtlessness. Both the thoughtlessness of the programmers on Jupiter Station, who did not consider how their decisions might impact a hologram years down the line, and Emil’s own thoughtlessness. Because who could claim that an EMH was ‘thinking’, when he was really just following instruction laid out for him long before his instance of the basic EH installation package was ever compiled?

It was a true philosophical conundrum that —

“Um… excuse me?”

The hypospray clattered to the workbench as, for a fraction of a second, the utterly unexpected input scrambled Emil’s subroutines and made his matrix flicker. He whirled around and found himself face to face with Captain Rios.

[vadergf]

i had fun with this corny shounen anime love conquers all ending lmao i can see criticisms from a story perspective on like memory loss endings cause sometimes it makes past actions hollow but personally i think that depends on how s2 moves forwards bc people are already assuming everyone will just not remember anything and i have a feeling that some people remembering will actually be a source of conflict (ckarl, cfoolish, whatever relation dreamxd had with cdream and cgeorge) in the future, like imagine the drama of ctommy and cdream becoming close and then remembering what cdream did and handling that, etc

i feel like it also helps in fixing irl issues with ccs who just don’t wanna bother with more lore (tubbo is not gonna be willing or comfortable wrapping up his lore with ranboo probably, for example, and if it impacts his story thats a shame but that’s a risk this type of stories have when there isn’t a single person telling it). people just have no empathy or regard these ccs as people so they feel soo entitled as if they could carry the story they wanted in the medium and estructure the smp has, like no you aren’t getting an accurate portrayal of abuse in a story told through minecraft roleplay with 20+ writers all who just made shit up as they went along, if you are a single writer you don’t have to deal with the inconvenience of one of your characters simply being unavailable to appear in the story bc they have other shit to do lmao. sorry for wall text, i get this behaviour from kids but grown people throwing a fit after yesterday are so embarrasing like come on, by all means express your grievances and move on, don’t attempt to make a kid feel like he’s a horrible person for playing the oldest cliche of the hero and the villain becoming friends through the power of understanding and compassion

I loved the ending so much like yeah actually love and understanding are the answers to everything sorry you're fucking miserable ig !!!! Also what you said abt ppl who might want to stop doing lore or retcon certain bits like it's very true and this is giving them the perfect out (cranboo is leaving crab rave)

also I've never been a fan of the good portrayal of abuse in exile so this is harmful blah blah thing like get off your high horse ffs. media isn't black and white and if you want a good moral ending why don't you fucking read a children's bed time story book and fuck off from places where you need nuance

[titconao3]

5 Things You Never Get Tired of Writing

Thank you, @perverse-idyll, for the tag!

If you're willing and have the time, tagging @beguilewritesstuff , @irisbleufic , whoever might enjoy this!

These are things that come up often, though i haven't really thought too long and hard about whether they were actually the most frequent, or just those that came to mind first.

Please remember nothing of the following says anything at all about me, haha...

...and also that i actually don't write super sad hopeless stuff? Although i've been told some fics were super sad etc when i was all, no, there's hope, there's a good afterlife (if it's a relevant fandom for an afterlife), it's good? Eh. Though i'll admit to bittersweet endings, if i must. Occasionally.

Depression. Because i'm a happy camper ;-) Coping through a fog, pushing through, just going through the motions on the outside when the inside is an empty, barren land with howling wind (tumbleweeds etc etc). Somewhat related, a sense of alienation - from others, from oneself. Not fitting in. Looking at people, looking at the world as if through a smudged window, knowing you can't ever really reach out. Being alone, and knowing you'll always be (possibly wrongly). i don't know that i write specifically about that, but it pervades through my fics, i'd say. Between Matt, Loki, Severus, Harry, Frank, Tony, Lucifer... ahem. (and i'm not listing all those i'll eagerly read about but have not written about... yet ;-) *toes list under bed*

Death, though not necessarily as something inherently sad. Not so much my characters' deaths (i'm not a fan of permanent MCD unless it's about an afterlife, which i've written about roughly a zillion times in the Lucifer fandom), but how it surrounds them, how it's always waiting, how much they want it, sometimes - consciously or not. How it can look like an escape, a hope for peace, a haven, in those moments. But also, how someone's death will impact those who are left - the unsaid, the unknown, the unshown. Hi, Battlin' Jack Murdock! Hi, Frigga! Hi, Maria, Lisa, Frank Jr! i don't think it's necessarily obvious, but it lurks there, definitely. Oh! And in several fandoms, faith/god/transcendence; grappling with it, with the silence or with the moral imperatives, fighting against them or with them, etc. Funnily enough, love and faith are things that i don't get myself, but that i find endlessly fascinating.

3rd person POV, by which i mean, either an OC or someone who's not acutally the focus of the story. Nuff said ;-) Okay, fine, not nuff said. It's actually often fun to write - constraining in some ways, because you need to find ways for your POV character to know, learn, see some things that don't feel overly forced, and there are things that the POV character can't ever see, learn, or know. But the fun part is that this is fiction, and in particular fanfiction. Readers know what to expect because of the genre, the tropes, and if it's fanfic, the characters and settings (and AO3 tags ;-). The characters may not know they're in a story, but the writer and the readers do, and they know more, and you can play with that. You can make it obvious that a character feels, knows, hides something and still have them totally blind to it, for instance: that is where expressing things in body language helps. You can have some distance from a specific setting, bring fresh eyes to a place, a character, a relationship. It's also more comfortable for me because i am, in fact, uncomfortable writing big sweeping passionate paragraphs where a POV char expounds on their love / desire / feels, with a lot of emotional details and insight. Distance helps, so i don't feel horribly awkward, like i'm overdoing it, like i'm writing about what i don't understand. It's true especially for love, and i generally try to express it via actions (see: hurt/comfort ;-), behaviours, but not verbalizing it, be it in the mouths or the minds of the characters. Which has led me to write romances without a single kiss happening (and absolutely no Epic Declaration ;-), woops. i sometimes think readers must be very disappointed to click on what is tagged as shippy fic, when it turns out the shippy part is not very explicit if you want kissing, hand-holding, long angsty ruminations on your beloved, etc. (Cue tagging angst, because it is shippy enough in the general understanding of shippy to be tagged ship? etc)

showers and beds (showers BEFORE bed) ;-) Ideally, waking up feeling refreshed and ready, eager for the brand new day ahead (lol) Generally, taking care of a character who doesn't feel they should be taken care of, or of the whumpee if it's hurt/comfort, and getting them to accept it, to take it in. It can be physical or emotional, i'm easy ;-) But, yes, hurt/comfort and the variations thereof are a big kink. It's not necessarily "A was kidnapped and tortured and B will nurse them back to health" but there will be pain, and there will be (some) healing. And being comfy and warm ;-) (pls picture Frank Castle grumpily tucking Matt in and totally not tenderly brushing his stupid hair off his forehead)

Groups of three. It's one of the things i'm particularly self-conscious about, actually. i so often go for the x, y, and z rhythm, be it adjectives, or larger clauses. It's the rule of three! It feels too long if more, too short and unfinished if less. But it's so obvious and repetitive, that i forcibly remove some of them as i reread and tweak. While sobbing.

Writing for the Daredevil fandom actually informed my ficcing a lot, because you have to focus on expressing things without using sight, Matt being blind. How can you convey that your character observes, pays attention, in ways that are not (or not always, if the POV is a sighted character) visual? How can you show what a character feels and thinks through sounds, gestures, movements, etc? How do you try to relate to the world though all senses? This has helped me with writing alienation, depression, 3rd person POV, etc. Well, i don't know if it was successful and masterful etc at it, but it's certainly one of the things i'm aware i rely on.

Finally, the fact that i'm writing in English, which is not my native language, probably influences my writing a lot. There are rhythms, structures, word choices - or refusal to use some words, structures, rhythms - that are there because English is, and always will be, my second language. There's a constant teacher looking over my shoulder and i don't want them to think i'm using a word because it's too similar to the word i first knew; i want to show off i learned the vocabulary, learned the grammar. These days, the teacher is me, and i judge myself like my own students sometimes. And then, there are the people betaing: what if they're laughing at how bad i am at English? What if i get a bad grade and don't pass the fic exam? Woe! The 2d language thing also means that what a word, a sound, an image evokes for me might reach a reader very differently than what i thought. Even if i've never written in another language than English, even if reading fiction in my native tongue feels so unnatural now, even if there are many things, things that i fic about, that i am much, much more comfortable talking about in English than the language i was raised in... English is both distant and familiar, it's tiring to use and easier at the same time. i can't imagine writing in another language.

And then, i have recurring themes that sneak up on me for some reason or another; i've had the ocean come up again and again in several of my latest fics. i try to curb these tendencies, because to me, it feels… too obvious, too repetitive, too boring - who would want to read about my neuroses again and again ;-) (adds spaceships and dragons for ~spice~ There! Hidden!)

...and on that note, wow, if you're still reading you're brave, so thanks for sticking to it to the end ;-)

[mvanr]

Legacy & Destiny

My daughter Meg recently told me that a meme doing the rounds claimed that the average bloke thinks about the Roman Empire twice a day, and she asked if I thought it were true. I just picked up my copy of Meditations, written by Marcus Aurelius nearly two thousand years ago, off my bedside table and showed it to her. She sent a photo of it to her friends and they were in stitches. The proof was complete.

I don’t think that Marcus Aurelius ever dreamed that the thoughts he wrote down in Meditations would be read by others and I’m sure he would have been astounded to learn that they would be widely published and read millennia later. I think he likely just regarded his writings as a kind of journal, jotting down thoughts and everyday struggles he faced in order to define them and bring them into full consciousness. Meditations is full of practical and sometimes mundane thoughts, like a dialogue that he has with himself about whether to stay in a warm bed or to get up and attend to the duties of the day. I gave my copy to my son Sam a few days ago because I thought he might benefit from some of its insights (hint, hint). Besides, it’s kind of cool to get a glimpse inside the mind of one of the greatest Roman leaders. At least for me.

Marcus Aurelius is probably the best known of the Roman stoics. Like all stoics of the time, he regarded stoicism as a life philosophy - defining in essence, how to live, behave, and view the world and one’s role in it. Adherents to its contemporary philosophies such as scepticism and hedonism, each with their own sets of followers, had completely different beliefs and codes of behaviour. Most of the figures that I admire from the Greek and Roman eras were stoics. All concerned themselves with how best to live, and I’m sure all centred their behaviour around the four ancient virtues of fortitude, prudence, justice, and temperance.

I don’t think many people nowadays tend to think of themselves as following a particular life philosophy, even though we of course do through our thoughts and actions. I’d guess most relatively affluent people today follow a kind of involuntary moderated hedonism, living often mundane day-to-day lives between episodes of indulgence. While I believe in the good in people and I do think most of us go about our day to day activities trying to do the right thing, I wonder how many people hold themselves to account at a higher, longer-term level, especially as we get older. Sometimes I get the feeling that when it comes to matters like careers, relationships, and long term goals and endeavours, many of us behave almost by default and as though we don’t really have a choice.

The reality, of course, is that we do. Our lives and our destinies are, by large measure, of our own choosing. As I get older I’m increasingly concerned about the prospect of one day looking back and regretting the choices that I didn’t make. That if I’m not to become embittered, I need to ensure that I live boldly and that I don’t just coast from day to day without questioning the larger patterns of my life. There’s good reason of course that we often avoid challenging or changing these patterns - it’s at this level that change is most difficult. But it’s also at this level that change provides the greatest opportunities for personal growth and fulfilment.

It can be hard to find a balance between apparently conflicting ethical concerns when it comes to life choices that impact others, especially those we love. Do we stay in dead-end careers for fear of sacrificing financial security? Or remain in relationships longer than we should for fear of hurting those we love? These are some of life’s hard questions that we should not shy from, even if only to make peace with our acceptance of the compromises we make.

Of the four ancient virtues, fortitude is often cited as courage, but this opens the door to its misinterpretation as courage in the narrow sense of bravery. Fortitude is the broader strength of will to confront what we must, and deal with it in the face of adversity. To do what needs to be done. It includes courage in all its forms, but also includes the capacity to endure difficulty and see things through. But prudence, another virtue often cited as wisdom, will more often than not need to work hand in hand with fortitude lest the consequences of our actions be rash. The same applies to temperance and justice - it’s seldom that these four virtues work in isolation from one another and getting the balance right is not always easy. It’s here that I think we need to let our inner light be the guide and I feel St. Paul was right in citing Love as the greatest of all the virtues. I’ve long thought of Love as the source of all virtue and the one thing without which even the concept of virtue would lose all meaning.

I’m not sure if it’s just part of getting older, but I sometimes look back over my years so far and get the feeling that it’s almost as if it’s all been scripted by some hidden hand. So many opportunities to make mistakes were missed almost as if by accident; I could easily have been so much less fortunate. What a privilege life is and what a time to be alive. Yet, despite all the incredible progress in human endeavour in my lifetime, I find myself now yearning for simplicity and freedom. To somehow escape from the darker aspects of our time like industrialised agriculture and the shallowness of social media and the mob, and to try to ensure real connections with others, with nature, and with what I consume. To rebel against the artificialness of AI and engage instead in the true crafts of old, working with wood and stone and iron and clay. We have a small farm in the Karoo with lots of stone artefacts from a bygone era, two hundred years ago, when the people that lived there had nothing but time; the complete opposite to the world of today. Even though I never knew those people, I know something of them by what they left behind, I know they loved and pursued beauty, and I love the idea of honouring them by restoring what remains and leaving something for those that follow me. But time is running out.

Ridley Scott’s Gladiator is one of my favourite movies, not least for Richard Harris’ portrayal of Marcus Aurelius. Like in so many stories that resonate with us, the protagonist Maximus undertakes the typical Hero’s Journey, so deeply engrained in our mythology, with all its difficulties, agony, and ultimately triumphant, if tragic return. But Harris portrays the emperor as an old man in Gladiator, while in reality Marcus Aurelius died relatively young at 58. Today, it's become so normal for people to live beyond 90 that we've almost come to see anything less as a premature ending. It hasn't always been so, as the echo of my grandmother's "three score years and ten" reminds me. Perhaps we need to look on the additional years conferred on us by our ancestors as a gift that they would have cherished, and as an opportunity to reflect on our own lives and how we live them. To endeavour to live, as the ancient Greeks believed, as though all of our ancestors are living again through us. Like a mighty river. After all, as Maximus reminds us, what we do in life, echoes in eternity. Do we dare?

[faridabadmodern]

Effective Parent-Teacher Communication ?

Children are a reflection of their parents in more than one way. Parents make sure that their children attain the best of education and succeed in their careers. Teachers guide their students so that they can unleash their true potential and become successful. Interactions between the two well wishers of students thus becomes extremely vital as they are the ones who truly help in establishing a constructive foundation for a child’s future. A parent's active involvement significantly improves a child's academic success. His loving style causes kids' personalities to change naturally and holistically. For the entire development of a child, it is essential to share accountability and duty with the parent. Modern School Faridabad The parent bears primary responsibility for the child's academic and personal growth. In reality, building a solid connection between parents and educators is essential. Every action and moment a youngster makes affects how they will turn out in the future. During parent-teacher conferences, parents and teachers can share their observations on a kid. Sharing everyday experiences and observations gives parents and teachers more opportunities to plan, prepare, and carry out strategies for improving a child's learning outcomes. A child's overall personality is shared with the instructor, including his or her actions, demeanour, habits, attitudes, learning preferences, relationship to oneself and to society, etc. PTM serves as a hub to satisfy children's needs.

PTM assists in conveying to parents the areas in which their child is excelling. They provide parents with detailed suggestions on how to raise their child's performance. They also foster ties between parents and teachers. Teachers can better understand why students behave in various ways and how to respond by talking with parents about their children's behaviour at school. When parents are interested in their children's education, they feel more invested in them as well, which might motivate them to take on more responsibility and involvement even when their kids aren't in school. Parents ought to be involved in their children's education at every step, not just when a problem occurs. Teachers can identify possible problems early on through parent-teacher conferences before they develop into more serious ones. Also, they gather information about each pupil, which makes it simpler to assist particular children. Because they are aware that teachers are keeping an eye on them and interacting with their parents, parent-teacher conferences can motivate pupils to behave more appropriately and achieve better academically. Parents who have the opportunity to talk with teachers about their children's progress feel more invested in their education and are more willing to encourage them to do better. Any parent-teacher meeting should include background information on your child. The teacher can provide you with information on your child's strengths and areas for development. Understanding how to best support learning at home and direct them in the proper direction is made easier by this. Furthermore, it enables parents to comprehend the finest ways to assist their child in various academic settings. Early childhood care is very important and has a big impact on the teacher-student interaction.

The Modern School, Faridabad, makes sure to adhere to all these values and principles to facilitate active communication between parents and teachers. The school regularly updates parents on all events being conducted. All kinds of support has been made extremely accessible for the parents. Top schools in Faridabad To emphasise on the value of relationships, various events like father’s day or mother’s day are also celebrated.

Thus, through PTMs a parent can examine the surroundings in which their child is growing up and get to know the people who are caring for them during such a meeting. This makes it possible for them to have a close relationship with their children, which is highly beneficial. Selecting topics to address in parent-teacher conferences and communicating a child's progress keeps both parties informed. The improvement of the pupil is the ultimate objective, after all. This is where parent-teacher conferences are crucial.

[notproofread]

A Court of Mist and Fury

or The Beginning of the End

hi & hello fellow book-lovers and/or fans of the ACOTAR/ACOMAF-series. I have recently finished A Court of Mist and Fury and can't stop thinking about a bunch of different aspects of the story. So after three days of contemplation I have finally decided to blast my thoughts out onto tumblr just to get them out of my brain. You are more than welcomed to read through them & interact with them in any way you like, but please bear in mind that these are my personal opinions & that I do not have to agree with you. (and this should go without saying but I am not hating on Sarah J. Maas). It's just what I thought while and after reading it. So don't expect something too based here but still read it to the end hehe :)

Let's start with some characters shall we? How about our High Lord of the Spring Court first, since I know that he is not liked by many lol So Tamlin, right...

...why does he turn to be the evil guy even before the third part of ACOMAF?

He broke as well Under the Mountain, probably even before because of having to risk his entire court to find a woman who could help him lift the curse but why does Tamlin not get the chance to heal like Feyre and/or Rhysand? He has done some dumb shit, i'll admit, and definitely treated Feyre wrong in so many ways before Rhys took her away. But why does he not get a chance to redeem himself? Why are his actions immediately labeled as bad when he is just as broken as many other characters in this book, when literally his whole character in the first book had been labeled as a protective person who had already lost so much in his life? I DONT WANT TO EXCUSE HIS BEHAVIOUR IN ACOMAF but isn't it to be expected that someone who is protective, broken and traumatised will not always act rationally when fearing something might happen to their loved ones? I guess my main issue here is that Rhysand (the best man in the entire series btw go argue with a wall), an equally traumatised, broken, protective person, gets to have healing moments, happiness and a found family (we love to see it, you go king) but the same attributes make Tamlin the bad guy.

Like from a plot-standpoint I totally get making him side with the enemy but wouldn't it have been way more impactful if it was out of actual hate towards Feyre and/or Rhysand? We as readers get told that Tamlin & Rhys do not like each other but throughout the main part of the book it mostly seems like Tamlin is not intervening at all (except for sending Lucien once after what feels like months?). If he was so heavily and undyingly in love with Feyre wouldn't there have been more attempts in various ways? It makes his appearance as a "traitor" seem so weak because we have not heard from him after the locked-in incident and Feyre's arrival at the Night Court. In fact I have completely forgotten about him after a few chapters and just got reminded when Feyre mentioned him.

I do have to say that I love this take on a love triangle. Feyre is not stuck between Tamlin and Rhysand because it is obvious who the better choice is and she chooses exactly that.

I am extremely interested to see how his character will evolve in the coming books but as for now it just feels like SJM wants to make the reader hate Tamlin to justify FeyrexRhysand even though their interactions alone in comparison to FeyrexTamlin are enough validation for the reader to prefer them (or at least they should if they know what a healthy relationship is). The reader gets enough reason from Feyre and her comparison of the two males already, why are we led to think/feel that Tamlin "slaughtered" Rhysands family, when Rhysand himself said that he doesn't know if Tamlin was part-taking beyond telling his father the location. Slaughtered is such a strong word, especially considering that Feyre goes on a killing spree to save Rhysand mere pages later, indeed slaughtering her enemies... Then she herself is thinking that Under the Mountain changed both her and Tamlin so much, that they were no longer a good fit for each other and I loved that! Show me more of Feyre actually comparing herself before and after Under the Mountain, how Rhysand treats her and what new role he offers her. Why does Tamlin need to be the root of all evil to justify Feyre's new relationship? And when will he get to heal?

[ykoriana-imperatrix]

SDC Month - December 2022 - Wednesday #1

Introducing the other new weekly project for this SDC month: what-if scenarios. In a sense, I feel one could consider it similar to the theories project, as a theory tries to piece together a scenario that might have happened through available canonical information, while a what-if focuses on a scenario that could have happened had some change, great or small, impacted the events of canon. They may not be sister projects exactly... but perhaps one could call them cousin ones?

Just a few notes before we start: for this project, I tried to choose scenario ideas useful enough to generate some (hopefully interesting) speculation and discussion, but which would keep the resulting posts to a reasonable length as well (say, of a maximum around those of the theories from June, but more than just a handful of sentences along the lines of "well, I guess this would happen, that's about it"). I also wanted concepts that would result in more canon-based speculation and not something more akin to fanfiction — for instance, a scenario where some random lord accompanied Aurum and Jaspar on the journey to the Hold instead of Vennel would be far from ideal, because I'd have to completely make up everything about what said lord would be like in terms of personality and motivations, how would those influence his actions, etc. Basically, I wanted scenario ideas that would allow for some degree of freedom of speculation, but at the same time still be grounded in canon and the characters at their core. Did I succeed? I'll let you be the judge of that.

Should the Gods Ever Grant Him a Son of His Own Blood

(I thought it only fair that, like their theory cousins, the what-if scenarios had their own individual titles. This one comes from a quote from George R. R. Martin's novel Fire & Blood.)

My first concept proposal for this project: what if Aurum and Sardian's sister had a son born not too long before the events of canon? (For the purposes of the subsequent speculation, let's say this hypothetical boy would be under the age of one by the time The Masters begins, born in early 15 Kumatuya or thereabouts.)

Now, given what we know about Aurum, I'm sure we can all agree that this would be a hugely significant change to him. The reason he married Sardian's sister in the first place was in order to produce a son and heir to replace the one born from his first marriage, who died young. It might have taken over two decades to get a son from this second marriage, but in this scenario, he'd finally have the heir he'd been dreaming of for years. And I very much believe this would lead to a major change in Aurum's behaviour: this version of him would be far less desperate. So yes, while I'm certain he would still absolutely want to cling to what power and influence he held for the remainder of his natural life, I think this Aurum would perhaps reevaluate his priorities in the wake of the son’s birth, which would lead him on a somewhat divergent path from that of canon!Aurum. Yes, politically speaking, managing Nephron's faction would be a huge plus in terms of the eventual potential rewards... but recall that in canon, he would almost certainly have been hoping to secure a third marriage (in order to have a chance to produce the much hoped-for heir) as part of said rewards. What-if!Aurum, as I said earlier, would lack that factor of urgency and desperation, and while yes, his infant son could still end up succumbing to child mortality, I think securing an additional match for the purpose of having a just-in-case backup heir wouldn't exactly be high in Aurum's list of priorities. (Remember that matches with pure-blooded ladies are very costly and not exactly easy to come by; I imagine this hypothetical idea would be seen as a more than a little frivolous waste of iron from what-if!Aurum's perspective.)

No, instead, I feel like the son would have become his number one focus. By 15 Kumatuya, Aurum would be an elderly man (if one in implausibly good health), and he would know that even in the best case scenario, he was likely to die while his son was still quite young. And I believe he might actually seriously think beyond his own death and be concerned about how the election for his successor might go — what if any supporters his young son would have might not prove enough to stand against some too-ambitious second lineage lord, and his treasured bloodline, his precious long-awaited heir, ended up being ousted from the Ruling Lordship? (Additionally, I imagine the threat of assassination would be very much present — even if it wasn't as much of a risk while Aurum himself lived and was in good health — since a small, vulnerable child would be too tempting a target for scheming relations...) So Aurum would know that the best way to avoid these dreaded outcomes would be to make sure his son was as old as possible when the election came about — that is, that he would need to live as long as possible. Of course, there would only be so much he could do in that regard, though he did already seem to canonically have a healthy lifestyle (a definite plus), and I'm certain he would be vigilant enough regarding any potential assassination attempts on his person as well. There would not be much that could be done regarding the threat of any fatal genuine accidents or unexpected medical conditions... but he could avoid unnecessary risks. Such as, say, going on a cross-continental journey fraught with all sorts of dangers for several months.

Yes, you read that right, I do believe Aurum would not travel to the Hold in this scenario. I think he might still see trying to convince Sardian to return as potentially useful in terms of strengthening Nephron's faction, and it is quite possible he would still discuss it with Kumatuya, but I really cannot see him going himself, taking into account everything that could go wrong for him (and/or his baby son in his absence) in the meantime. Instead, I think he would safely stay behind at Osrakum, continuing to channel his efforts into gaining more support for Nephron (and drawing support away from Ykoriana and Molochite if the chance presented itself; for instance, he might make far more of an effort to try and win Jaspar's father and his faction over to his side in this timeline). As for who might be sent as the faction representative on the journey in Aurum’s stead... well, we do know said faction did canonically include more lords of standing than that of Molochite, so it may not have been as difficult for Aurum to select a good candidate as we might think, one who would have enough loyalty to the cause (or at the very least, enough fear/respect of/for Aurum himself) to do exactly what was expected of him and not even entertain the thought of betrayal.

There you have it, my best attempt at trying to explore what might have changed in comparison to canon in this particular what-if scenario! What did you think about it? Do you feel it was an interesting and/or entertaining choice of idea, or not particularly (though if the latter, perhaps you will enjoy some of the future installments more)? Do you agree with my views of how this might have played out (even if, as with the theories, these topics tend to be fairly subjective), and if not, in which way(s)?

[nyxyxx]

The God of Gods (Pt.1)

Pt. 2

I recently fell down the rabbit hole of the sagau and now I feel deeply interested in writing my own take for it- because well I can barely find anything for some of my favourite characters- 

I had gotten inspiration for this from @streimiv and @myuni-moon- their work is really amazing and well written! (You should totally look at their work as well)

I didn't edit it very much yet but I'll get to it eventually lmao

I'm just very lazy

Warnings!: Yandere, Cultish themes, Obsessive and insane behaviour & religious themes. Please proceed with caution. 

Not many people knew about the being above even the gods themselves. Sure, a few have occasionally thought: “What if there is a being even higher than the Gods?” Although such thoughts would quickly dissipate, for it could be considered blasphemy to think of such a being. However, there were a few who knew the truth. 

For some, they possessed knowledge of this being for many years, whether it be from pure instinct, belief or prior research. There were even a few who just somehow knew that they existed. Regardless, the archons that governed each of their lands sprinkled in tad bits of evidence, that the general public often happened not to notice. 

So, there were a few who knew faintly of your existence, hoping, praying, that perhaps one day, they might get to meet this almighty being who not even the Gods themselves can disobey. 

Thus, on the date of your arrival, many people were extremely shocked. Your precious worshippers flocking to your side after all these long years of waiting for you. 

You awoke under a large tree, one that seemed oddly familiar, yet you couldn’t figure out exactly how. A gentle breeze carried several leaves through the air, while the loud sound of nearby running water helped ground yourself to reality. At first, it seemed almost impossible, even after a few minutes of aimless staring up at the large branches of the large tree, you still believed that this must’ve been a dream. There was no way. There was no way this was real. 

Yet here you were, laying underneath the tree by the statue of the seven at windrise. It seemed almost too real to be a dream, the firmness of the cold stone beneath your back, the gentle yet cool breeze of the wind, the oh-so sweet melody that the birds sang. 

There is no way this couldn’t be a dream, you told yourself. Although, what did it truly matter if it were a dream? If this was a dream, than that meant you could enjoy your time here until you woke up. If this wasn’t a dream, and you were actually in Genshin Impact - which you told yourself was very unlikely, than you could at least try to enjoy your time here. 

You took a deep breath and steadied yourself onto your feet. Only then did you notice, that you were in fact, not alone the entire time. A young blonde haired man kneeled at the statue, his golden eyes observing your form with fear, but also intrigue. You knew this man as Aether, one of the protagonists of the game. He sat there, unmoving, as if a single movement from him could cause you to disappear in an instant. 

“You are...”

"You are light as you are dark,

You are kind as you are cruel,

You are chaos as you are kind,

You are the creator. The meaning, the purpose."

Something he and his sister had often talked about, before they got seperated.

The man before you instantly bowed, head presenting against the stone as low as he possibly could. You stood there, confused by his actions. Then, a wonderful thought crossed your mind. If this is truly a dream, then I can do whatever I want.

I can be free.

“Whatever,” You spoke almost sarcastically. Though indeed Aether was certainly good-looking, the interest to meet the archons was much more important at the moment. “You can stand up now.” He obeyed without any delay. A distant, euphoric look on his face, as if he was hearing a siren’s singing. 

It was strange. He was almost treating you as if you were someone important, but surely, you aren’t right? You’re just a normal person who happened to download a game that seemed fun. He spoke softly, as if a single word he spoke could potentially invoke your wrath. “What do you wish for, Master?”

Truthfully, there were mainly things you could’ve said. Yet, a certain set of words seemed to consume your mind even more. “I want to travel. I want to explore. You can show me around right?” 

He, your loyal servant from this day forward, obeyed your command without question. Afterall, a divine being such as you descended upon your beloved world and have graced him with your presence. This could be the start of a wonderful journey, or a lonely fate.

[mishkakagehishka]

hmmmmm

myabe some platonic azul ashengrotto with an MC reader?

thank you~

Ayy, Sammy! Thanks for indulging me by requesting, and thanks for requesting platonic! I think this might only be the second time I've written that, which is a shame, it's so underrated <3

Some general "becoming friends with Azul and all that being friends with him entails" headcanons below :>

Azul Ashengrotto

Azul is a bit of a tough nut to crack

Becoming acquainted with him is easy, but becoming someone he’s willing to (honestly) call a friend is a bit harder

Due to his past experiences, he’s hesitant to open up to others, which will likely reflect on your first interactions

That said, you might not even get the chance to interact with him enough to get close to him until the events of the Octavinelle episode – during which you might even make your odds of befriending him lower

Naturally, after having his contracts destroyed and Ramshackle-as-a-second-Mostro-Lounge-location being taken away from him when he was certain it was safe in his hands, Azul will end up with some leftover resentment towards you

He won’t outright avoid you (after all, burning bridges is bad for business), but those walls he put up just got a few inches higher

Still, there’s a part of him that is thankful for your actions. It confuses him, since you did significant damage to his business, but after a while he’ll realise just how out of line he actually was

And how you were the one to make sure he didn’t actually hurt anyone, or himself. Not to mention that, in beating him up, you also made sure the Overblot didn’t kill him

It is during the events of Scarabia that you are able to become closer to him

You, Grim, Azul and the Leech twins were locked up in the same guest room over the nights in Scarabia, and the sleepover energy (that was present when the general terror of the situation become the “normal”) massively helped the process of bonding

When the twins and Grim drift off to sleep, Azul and you stay up still, just talking, learning about and getting to understand one another

Staying up late impacts your performances in the morning training, which ends with “Kalim” getting angry with you, but Jamil is quick to diffuse the situation, and after a while Azul starts defending you, too

Because through your conversations, he learnt about you, and he learnt about the fact that you’re far more honest and kind and righteous than anyone else he’s met

You didn’t enable his behaviour that lead up to his Overblot, like the twins had, but you also didn’t let him just thrash and cry himself into ruin – you helped him pick up the pieces after and see the right path

Azul was happy he had a chance to repay you in helping with Jamil’s overblot, but it’s not even about “repaying” and “never being indebted” when it comes to you

He's realised he wants to be nice to you because he wants to consider you his friend

In being friends with Azul, you’ll likely never have many issues in Night Raven College

While he can’t defend you physically should you have a bad run-in with a bully, he’d be more than willing to send the twins after them (after all, he knows what being bullied is like, and he doesn’t want that pain on one of the only people he can call a true friend)

He’s also a major help in case you ever need help studying! Though he’s tempted to help you with no extra charge, the businessman in him never sleeps, so at least order a drink during your study sessions

And, of course, you are now forever immune to the twins. Mostly. He doesn’t really control them, but they’re still gonna be a tiny bit more patient with a friend of Azul’s

Asides from that, the nights at Scarabia are now a permanent happy memory for him, so don’t be surprised if he comes over to Ramshackle with a pillow and a rucksack full of (mostly healthy) snacks every once in a while, asking if you want to have a sleepover again

Convince him to let loose and have some popcorn with butter to go with the cheesy horror flicks you can make fun of together (when he’s not actively peeing himself out of fear)