20 questions
how many works do you have on ao3? 11 works!
what's your total ao3 word count? 385,785?! wow
what fandoms do you write for? i have primarily published for zelda and one fic for honkai star rail, i've been working on a number of genshin impact fics but we'll see if i ever finish any haha. i miss the days when i could get myself to just post chapters as i wrote them but now i feel like i have to have all or a significant amount done before publishing :')
what are your top 5 fics by kudos? to hold the sun (zelink, complete), pawn structure (zelink, complete), i could only have you in my dreams (danstelle, slowly whittling away at another chapter), thunderstruck (zelink, complete), all in a day's work (working on a re-write!)
do you respond to comments? always and i feel guilty if it takes me too long to respond!! writing fanfiction is fun and cathartic but the reason i publish it is to talk to people about it. please comment on fanfic and feel free to respond again when/if authors reply - it's one of my favorite things!
what's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? ummm i'd have to say i could only have you in my dreams but that's mostly because it's "unfinished" as it stands right now. i love reading and writing angst in a fic but i'm too baby to give something an actually angsty ending :x
what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? EVERYTHING ELSE but maybe to avoid a cliche (zelink, complete) because the entire thing was a cliche and predictable and i just wanted it to feel cozy
do you get hate on fics? umm i'm sure i have but i don't really dwell on it. if someone's hating on skill, go off, i'm not a writing major and i'm publishing fics for free. if they want to hate on content/themes, different strokes for different folks. if they think i've done something "wrong", then i'd much rather they bring it to my attention respectfully so i can do better and learn. but at the end of the day, fanfiction is for fun, and i publish things i love and am proud of, and i've been lucky to receive a warm reception!
do you write smut? if so, what kind? absolutely i do! i feel like what i've published is on the kinkier end of the spectrum for a more vanilla reader, but on the vanilla end for a more seasoned reader. i like playing with power dynamics and desperation and worship/infatuation/obsession.
do you write crossovers? if so, what's the craziest one you've written? i haven't, and i don't know that i would! i really like coming up with plots that rely heavily on canon (even if it's just in my own way lol), and struggle with writing concepts that don't. i'm not sure i could get myself to write a crossover, unless it somehow still felt possible within canon!
have you ever had a fic stolen? not to my knowledge!
have you ever had a fic translated? i haven't! i'm working on a specific fic that i'd love to have translated into ukrainian eventually, so if there's anyone reading this that might be able to help, hit me up!
have you ever co-written a fic before? yes! to hold the sun with @obsidiangst and @hyperphonic, and pawn structure with hyperphonic. i learned so much through both experiences (and, yes, i'm tagging you both to do this xo)
what's your all-time favorite ship? easily zelink, i've loved them ever since i was a kid. it's the pure love, the cyclical romances, the trauma and the angst and the slow burn... and the forever and ever and ever. i've been really into chilumi lately too - the dynamic of "more than meets the eye" childe and "aloof intergalactic goddess that cares, believe it or not" lumine. i just love pining hahaha
what's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? *looks at wips folder* all?!?!?!?! just kidding (?). i'm really not sure! i did start a midzel piece a long time ago, inspired by carmilla, and i don't know that i'll pick that one up again. maybe i'll try to polish up what i have and put out a one shot instead of the slowburn longfic i wanted to do :')
what are your writing strengths? the easiest thing for me to sit down and write through to completion (pun very much intended) is smut! that's very often the part i finish first, while doing everything else in bits and pieces. i'm generally going for sexy but artsy, with the right mix (for me!) of blunt words and prose. i also feel that i'm good at characterizations that align with/expand upon canon.
what are your writing weaknesses? i definitely struggle with getting all of my thoughts onto the page, and i often have to read and re-read and RE-re-read to see if what i wrote makes sense (i.e. i didn't forget to include anything critical because my brain assumes it's already there). lately i've been having trouble with really connecting to writing, too, which makes the text feel shallow to me. working on being patient and writing one good sentence at a time!
thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? i love the idea and have a lot of thoughts so let me try to summarize! logistically, i would do it either in brackets (a la to hold the sun) or italics (if it was like a particular phrase in an otherwise english line) or just mention it, depending on the context. creatively, though, to me it's important (and fun!) to start by researching the culture. i also would be more comfortable including specific phrases/pet names rather than entire bouts of dialogue, unless i found a native speaker to help me!
first fandom you wrote for? zelda HAHA if i ever wrote any fanfic before that i don't remember it!
favorite fic you've ever written? hylia's greatest gift. it was something i felt was missing in the fandom, for a lot of reasons, and i think it represents what i'm best at writing as well as what i want to read. it's funny, it's lovely, it's sexy, and i really put no pressure on myself while writing it. i have something upcoming that can hopefully feel similar to me :)
thank you so much to @1up-girl for tagging me, i had so much fun reading your answers and then thinking through them myself! to anyone else reading, if you want to fill this out, consider yourself tagged - share your brain and @ me so i can read!!
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I posted 39,298 times in 2022
That's 5,720 more posts than 2021!
59 posts created (0%)
39,239 posts reblogged (100%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@lesbianralzarek
@thebiggerpicture23
@bogpaws
@vosquitransitis
@androfemmealien
I tagged 1,764 of my posts in 2022
#ok - 24 posts
#yo wtf - 23 posts
#more forbidden candy - 22 posts
#dean winchester - 12 posts
#ahhhhhhhhhhhh - 11 posts
#yes - 11 posts
#hmmm - 10 posts
#not to be gay on main - 10 posts
#well then - 10 posts
#holy shit - 9 posts
Longest Tag: 124 characters
#🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀😀😀😀
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
I went crazy with the baby filter on Snapchat and look at this cuteness
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4 notes - Posted February 6, 2022
#4
tagged by the lovely @thorlokis thank you! <3
Favourite Piece of Clothing You Own?
Hmmm. There's a hoodie that I really love, it's a generic version of Chanyeol's Total Fucking Darkness hoodie. It's soooo warm and comfy.
Your Comfort Food?
Potato soup on rice.
Favourite Time of Year?
Early spring or fall. When it's not too hot or too cold. I don't like extremes.
Favourite Song?
It varies depending on my mood and what day it is. lol Right now? I can't get enough of Cage The Elephant's Ain't No Rest For The Wicked.
Do You Collect Something?
Not really.
Favourite Drink?
I guess coffee? I drink it the most. Well, I do like hibiscus tea. So I guess that.
Favourite Fanfiction?
Suck It And See by alostautumn2k16 which is no longer on AO3. I managed to save the fic before it was taken down but omg I wish it was still available. I miss it.
Then there's a lot of others that I really adore.
came the last night by UnnieBee is a really good one, it's a Kr!syeol ghost fic with just the right dash of asexuality in it.
I tag @yeoldreamin @bogpaws @ohsenhun @thebiggerpicture23 @vosquitransitis @dreamyfreak @mochg26 @cxsmicmyeon @yehetdude @zap-of-gay-jock-love @penguinstuxedo @heartcravings @jongupseyeliner @micuko @boom-kaka-laka and anyone else that wants to participate. All the welcome~
7 notes - Posted March 11, 2022
#3
It really is just me and my 15 cups of coffee against the world
7 notes - Posted January 24, 2022
#2
tagged by @anakincitoo (thank you!!! 💖💖💖)
Rules: Make a new post and spell out your url with song titles, then tag as many people as there are letters in your url.
d - Don't Go - EXO
e - Echo - Trapt
m - Misery Business - Paramore
o - Oasis - EXO
n - Night Moves - Bob Seger
-
g - Girl With One Eye - Florence and The Machine
l - Like Real People Do - Hozier
i - Immigrant Song - Led Zeppelin
t - Thunderstruck - AC/DC
t - The Show Must Go On - Queen
t - The Parting Glass - The High Kings
e - Ego - BIGBANG
r - Ready, Steady, Go! - L'Arc~En~Ciel
I tagged @yeoldreamin, @catboycrimsonrain, @heartcravings, @cxsmicmyeon, @dreamyfreak, @midnightblue32-ao3-asianfic, @abunnycotton, @star-slutt, @kafkascupcakecake, @zackisontumblr, @dreamy-eames-jeans137, @m-ercurian
and everyone else that wants to partake! :D Thank you again @anakincito!!
9 notes - Posted November 7, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
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11 notes - Posted September 10, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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I posted 2,981 times in 2022
171 posts created (6%)
2,810 posts reblogged (94%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@wazzupmrstark
@sunlightmurdock
@perpetuelledaydreaming
@spongebobssquarepants
@robiinbuckley
I tagged 252 of my posts in 2022
#billy hargrove - 41 posts
#billy hargrove masterlist - 40 posts
#billy hargrove smut - 40 posts
#stranger things 4 - 39 posts
#billy hargrove fanfiction - 39 posts
#stranger things fanfiction - 38 posts
#billy hargrove fluff - 38 posts
#billy hargrove fic - 38 posts
#billy hargrove angst - 38 posts
#billy hargrove au - 38 posts
Longest Tag: 120 characters
#in contrast to lonnie putting him down and saying that joyce is 'fragile' ... actually something that can be so personal
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
18 | chapter two
summary: billy tried not to think about you but he failed miserably. and fuck you.
warnings: mentions of sex
listen to: Hungry like the Wolf - Duran Duran | Thunderstruck - AC/DC (playlist HERE)
word count: 1.5k
SERIES MASTERLIST + read the next chapter early on my KO-FI!!
Billy tried his best not to think about you. He didn’t even get your name and still when he closed his eyes the only thing he could see was you driving away on your bike. He enjoyed being rilled up and in this shitty town, no one had actually managed to make such an impression on Billy.
He had tried to track you, although you had a good five minutes of advantage, he even drove close to Oakland street but he knew it would be way too creepy for him to actually look for the bike so he simply drove away, entering his room by his window (as if his Neil and Susan didn’t already know he had been out) and tried to sleep until it was time for him and Max to go to school.
He couldn’t.
His mind wandered back to your laugh and your words, You look like trouble, and he couldn’t help but smirk at the memories.
Billy went back to school only three hours after he met you, with no sleep and no time to get back to business before the school year started again. When he finally parked, Tommy and Carol with the other part of the group were already waiting for him as Max mumbled a quick goodbye and shut the door.
Billy sighed for a moment, he realized he had to get his head in the game, that he had to actually wear the mask of the King of fucking Hawkins, again.
“We are planning a party,” Carol muttered as Billy left his car and put his sunglasses away.
“Are you?” Billy asked uninterested as he glanced at Tina who was glaring at him as if she wanted to kill him.
“It’s going to be insane,” Tommy muttered while the other boys cheer him on. “I have the house to myself next weekend, it’s going to be the last summer party,”
“Dress code bikinis?” Jason Craver muttered and everyone cheered on, except for Billy who glared at him.
See, Jason Craver was the type of guy that lived in Oakland street too. He didn’t understand why his parents hadn’t sent him to the private school in a nearby town until he realized that his father owned a lot of houses in the area and when Carol told him that his father was planning on running for major, it all made sense.
Billy was aware that Jason would’ve been the King of Hawkins after Harrington started to date Nancy Wheeler, but then Billy arrived; and although Jason spent much of his time brownnosing Billy, Billy knew there was resentment there.
Jason laughed and then chuckled towards his girlfriend, Chrissy, “Right, babe?” while he kissed her on the cheek. She was younger than he was, Billy could tell that she felt uncomfortable but it seemed like Jason didn’t even know how to read her body language.
“Let’s get going,” Billy finally muttered and the crowd followed him swiftly as he entered the school, everyone watching him again and whispering.
“There’s a rumor that you slept with Nancy Wheeler’s mom,” Carol said as she got closer to Billy by his right side. “At the public pool, when you were working as a-”
“Yeah, I know what I did this summer, Carol,” Billy cut her off.
It wasn’t true. Billy did flirt with Mrs. Wheeler though, but surely he wouldn’t go sleeping now with the moms of Hawkins, even though he had them in a spell.
“You need to get a Queen Billy and fast,” Tommy said as he placed a hand on Billy’s shoulder, who quickly shook it off while they got to his locker before he was grabbing the only notebook he had for every subject.
He hoped that his frown and glare would give Tommy and Carol a clue to stand down, but it seemed like they didn’t really get it. Instead, they leaned against the locker next to him as they waited for him. Billy truly wondered how Carol’s and Tommy’s lives were before him; if they pestered Harrington just the same because it seemed like they truly had nothing going for them.
“Jason and Chrissy got together like a month ago, and people are starting to talk about them being Prom royalty,” Carol muttered as she chewed gum loudly.
“And I care because,” Billy sighed.
“Because it’s the ultimate thing you can do as King of Hawkins, you deserve that,” Tommy intervened.
The last words hit Billy, You deserve that.
The only thing that Billy thought he deserved was his shitty life, he deserved his dad's punches, he deserved to be hated by every girl that had actually got to meet him and he deserved every bad thing that had happened to him. Billy was hollow and broken, how he could ever deserve something good? He had wandered through life getting knocked down at every turn and he expected it.
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1,598 notes - Posted June 20, 2022
#4
18 | chapter one
summary: although you want to escape hawkins the best you can do is ride your bike at dawn and flirt with mysterious boys that chase you with their camaros.
warnings: sexual tension?
listen to: Venus - Bananarama | Killer Queen - Queen (playlist here)
word count: 1.6k
series masterlist + read the next chapter early on my ko-fi!!
You caught the roar of the Camaro, even between the wind and the roar of your own bike, and you turned around slightly to see the driver of the Camaro getting closer to you. You didn’t manage to see his face well but by how he was trying to catch up to you, you decided to go a little bit faster.
You smirked as you moved your hand and the engine roared even louder, you laughed and smirked at the thought of leaving the Camaro behind but as soon as you did it, you heard his engine as well. You turned towards the Camaro for a second, it was closer than before, and now you could see the driver’s eyes.
They were electric blue.
You turned around once again and increased your speed but as you did it, you realized that you were closer than you’d thought to the street that you had to take, before even thinking about it you twisted your motorcycle into a sharp right.
The rubber of the wheels screamed against the pavement and white smoke appeared in the already foggy street as you commanded your bike to go to the right at an almost ninety-degree angle, the tail of the bike turned even a little bit more than what you expected and it dragged you until you took a one-eighty degrees turn, you were facing the other way.
Billy cursed loudly as he tried to stop but wasn’t able to as he caught your movements. Instead, he continued to drive on the road and as he turned his head towards, you, you rapidly winked at him through your helmet before he was already driving off.
You smirked.
You liked to drive alone in the dawn, it was one of the only moments in your life when you actually felt free and happy. You like that you couldn’t hear anything but the wind or your music if you chose to listen to your walkman, you liked to be alone, you liked to feel the adrenaline pumping through your body as you increase your speed on an empty street, you liked to feel as if your heart was going to pop because of how fast you were going.
Clearly, in such an empty town, you liked to believe that you had more time to hit the road as fast as you would like. It was a strange feeling, the one you had felt when you’d arrived at Hawkins, before coming you felt burning tears falling from your cheeks as your stepfather actually broke the news, you had to leave Chicago and go to Hawkins. It was a nightmare if you were being honest and you tried to collect as much money as you could in order to actually pay rent and stay in Chicago with your little sister, but after commenting it to him and him screaming that things got done when he said they got done, let you know that there was no way you were going to be left behind with your sister.
It truly had been more of a desperate measure.
And yet, as you finally crossed the threshold that separated Hawkins from the rest of the world, you felt strangely okay. The world looked brisk and vast and unknown, and it made you shiver. Not because of the perceived coldness that you were feeling but because you felt like you were coming to something more as if you were starting something.
And it completely and utterly terrified you.
This was also partly why you were waking up so early and leaving to ride; you couldn’t sleep for some reason and you hoped that maybe once you returned you would be able to catch at least an hour of sleep.
At least if you hurried but then, before pressing the accelerator, you heard a voice.
“Enjoying your victory lap?”
You jumped as you snapped your head towards him. If you were being honest, you would’ve lied if you didn’t feel something when your eyes met his. If you had imagined what someone would look like if the sea and sun had reincarnated in one person, it would be the guy inside of the Camaro. He had a glowing tan, the type of tan that let you know he had spent most of his life on the beach, the type of tan that just certain people would reach and you could’ve sworn that if you got a bit closer to him, you would’ve been able to feel the heat irradiating from him. Moreover, he had his hair styled in a mullet and although not many people could wear one, he indeed knew how to wear it; especially, by the way, his curls would fall on his forehead, decorating the deep deep electric blue eyes that he had, the type of eyes that could pierce you every time they fell on you.
He wasn’t from Hawkins, you knew it right away.
Billy smirked after you didn’t answer, instead choosing to ogle him even with the big helmet on. “You know, I was actually worried for a second?” he asked once more, as he hoped he could see more of your face if you just looked at him the right way.
You could tell he was interested so you stop your bike and took your helmet slowly before combing your hair with your hands and answering him, he stopped the Camaro too.
Billy got awe-struck for a second, you looked like heaven to him. He watched your legs as they were draped on the motorcycle in that tiny skirt and your y/h/c that fell on your shoulders while you smirked at him. Billy’s heart felt like it was going to explode especially by your demeanor and how confident you seem.
“Really? It seemed that you were upset about that Camaro not having enough stamina,”
Billy got offended for a second, but then he watched you, he watched the way your mouth turned into a small side smirk and the long agonizing look that you were giving him.
God, he thought as he licked his lips while smiling, he knew he was down bad if he didn’t meet you.
“I didn’t mean to startle you,” he explained, almost in a gentleman-like kinda way. It was almost because of the way he was looking at you, it wasn’t the way to look at a lady that he barely knew, he was undressing you with his eyes. “Does your parents know you are out at this time?”
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2,000 notes - Posted June 13, 2022
#3
How did you get so good?
summary: you've never had a one-night stand and honestly, it shows.
prompt: when they just finished hooking up and he says "I just had my tongue inside you, you can start calling me by my first name," she *forgot* his name.
words: 2.8 k
playlist: I mean for this fic, is this one.
warnings: smut. like pure dirty smut, smut like i've never written before. i mean it. I've been obsessing over Rooster and I just like I wanted to write something and I have a couple of things but this was just self-indulgent, also I need practice for what's coming with 18.
bradley ‘rooster’ bradshaw masterlist
You usually weren’t the type to do a one-night stand.
In fact, you were the opposite of doing such a thing. Nonetheless, when you were summoned back to Top Gun after years for a high-level mission after you’d just broken up with your fiance, you realized that you needed to live a little more, especially since if you were chosen and for some strange reason you didn’t make it, you didn’t want to regret it.
Therefore, you weren't too close off when you were presented with the tall and tanned handful of handsome pilots that boisterously moved toward you. Instead, you chose to give them a little smile, play pool with the tiny white summer dress that you decided to wear and glance at them through your lashes, sipping on your drink slowly as you wondered who the best candidate could be. They all introduced themselves to you, always chuckling a bit as they heard your call sign, which was the usual reaction when they heard “y/n ‘Brat’ y/l/n”
But then, the first four chords rang out of the piano, and your knees when weak.
“You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain. Too much love drives a man insane. You broke my will but what a thrill, goodness gracious great balls of fire!” he sang, his voice deep and deliciously raspy, you felt your heart jumping as you turned to where the voice came from.
He was taller than anyone in there, you could see it just by the way he was moving with the piano. Sun-kissed skin, sandy-brown hair that turned gold with the certain light of the room, broad shoulders, and a pornstache that would look awful on anyone except him. That’s how you’d first seen him and you couldn’t tear your eyes away from him after that, and when they introduced you two, he couldn’t look away either, instead, he looked at you unashamedly.
“...‘Rooster’ Bradshaw,” he announced as his palm slid into yours but you could only focus on his honey-burnt eyes and his smile.
“y/n ‘Brat’ y/l/n,” you muttered as your cheeks burned, his lips quirked up when he heard your call sign.
After that, the night turned into a blur and you weren’t sure exactly how you ended up on the side of the blue bronco as gentle moans that were muffled with his palm left your lips while your eyelashes flutter as he rocked his hips forward against your core, his large hands gripping your hipbones so harsh that you knew bruises would appear tomorrow.
“y/n,” he breathed out and you whimpered. “Get in the car,” He warned, his voice husky as he pressed his forehead to yours while his eyes remained shut, almost as if he opened them, he would fuck you open right there and then, in front of everyone.
You also weren’t aware of how quickly he’d manage to reach his place since you were too busy being a moaning- whimpering mess as his hand climbed through your thigh and into your core. But you didn’t miss how he met your gaze, the look on his face said it all. “You are soaked, darling,” he whispered and you felt like crying as his thumb started to stroke a delicate pattern against your clit.
It all turned into a mess once he opened the door for you, as you stumbled through his porch, already pulling down the annoying Hawaiian shirt he’d worn that night and you were sure you’d left it outside once he’d managed to open the door to the small cottage he called home while you were already kicking your shoes off and fumbling with his belt. You continued to kiss as you enter the house and he let you down, your hands moving up and down, finding fabric and occasionally skin, moving, finding, touching, discarding clothes, more touching.
It was a miracle you’d manage to reach his bed, honestly.
But against all odds, there you were. In bed with the most handsome man you’d ever met, a man you’d met barely hours before, whimpering for him, moaning for him as you felt how hard he was in his boxers when he moved his hips against you.
“Rooster, don’t tease” you breathed out as he struggled to undo the zipper of your dress, too distracted by the way you were bucking your hips forward to his while placing your hands on the small of his back, hurrying him up to fuck you already without saying it but you knew, he knew.
You were impatient for him.
“You really are a brat, you know?” he murmured as his hands traveled from the zipper of your dress to the cotton panties that you were wearing. He hooked the fingers and pulled your panties down slowly before colliding his lips against yours, it was a bruising kiss, so fucking needy that it made you dizzy.
Without warning, he’d pressed a hard thumb into your slit and you jolted, quickly your nails dug into his back and you were sure that there would be a pattern of crescent moons on his back tomorrow. As one of his hands stroked you, rubbing and flicking, his free arm fell into the side of your head while his nose pressed right under your chin, giving him access to your neck as you let out a silent moan. His knuckles pressed themselves into your clit and you felt your knees shaking, your walls clenching at nothing. You feel like crying.
“Does that feel good, darling?” he muttered as he licked your neck and you couldn’t answer because he soon pushed two fingers into you and you screamed at the stretch while he watched you carefully. “I bet that feels good,” he whispered against the shell of your ear and you could swear you hear his smug smirk.
His fingers speed up, forcing your entire lower half to vibrate and your knees began to shake. If you were doing this against his car and if he wasn’t holding you, completely supporting you with his body weight, you knew you’d have fallen over by the way he was touching you.
“Fuck,” you moan as you roll your hips against his hand, chasing your high, feeling yourself growing closer but then, Rooster withdrew his fingers altogether, you furrowed your eyebrows and you sighed in frustration as you pushed yourself onto your elbows, wondering where he went.
“What the fu-FUCK,”
That was the only thing you managed to say because Rooster’s face was already buried between your thighs. He pressed his tongue against your core, making you shudder. One of your hands quickly slid up into his golden curls as your head fell back against the bed. His nose pressed into your clit and his tongue teased your entrance and you couldn’t help but curled your fingers in his hair, tugging harshly at his roots, eliciting a groan from him.
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2,782 notes - Posted July 23, 2022
#2
18 | prologue
summary: billy has always loved the sea and his mother, and yet he has always known that love wasn't for him. Now that he's older he just has his Camaro and the routine of leaving girls bed's at dawn, yet nothing prepared him for what he saw on one of his nights out.
warnings: domestic abuse, swearing, mentions of sex.
listen to: Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince - Taylor Swift | Family line - Conan Gray | This love - Maroon 5 (playlist here)
word count: 1.5k
series masterlist
Billy Hargrove had always known that love wasn’t for him.
He might’ve not known it when he was too young when he didn’t manage to perceive what kind of relationship his parents had but god, as soon as he realized it, his perception of loved seemed forever tainted.
He loved his mother, he truly did. She was always there for him, she knew about his dreams and his fears and she never judged him for them. She gave him all the love that a mother would, but even a bit more as it seemed like his father didn’t really like him.
Neil Hargrove was a harsh man, he never showed even a drop of kindness to anyone and even less to his son. He was violent beyond words and although his punches were hard on Billy’s body, his words hit him even harder. It came to a point that Billy knew what his father would say about him as if it was a poem he had to memorize for school, it usually went as: you are worthless, how could I have such an idiot kid? I’m supposed to raise this pussy? Such a waste of space.
It hurt him a lot, he would spend hours crying by his mother’s side.
He didn’t believe it could get any worse, and yet it did.
As he grew older, he didn’t hide in his room like before when the fights between his parents started. The yelling, the screaming, the broken plates, the insults, and soon the punches that ended up with him in the middle trying to defend his mother against his father.
Not that he could do much at ten.
It wasn’t long before the only place where he felt safe wasn’t at home but on the ocean. He loved the sounds of the waves crashing against the sand, he loved the warm summer breeze that cooled off his cheeks and nose when he came to breathe from the water. Soon, his mother got him a surfboard and he couldn’t have been happier. He was so good at it, that his mother and others called him a natural. He could spend hours surfing without a care in the world, he liked how his golden curls soaked with the seawater and feeling like he was all alone as he was draped on his surfboard while resting.
And then his mother left him.
Billy didn’t surf again after that, it hurt too much. He asked her for so long if she was going to come back for him and yet although she had assured her that she would with a trembling voice, it never happened.
He has left with his dad.
He never went surfing again.
After that, something changed in Billy.
He remembered his first report cards, they described him as an extroverted and smart kid, who was kind to his classmates but soon the report cards turned into warnings of his violent tendencies and the multiple fights he got on with classmates of him over the smallest disagreement. People started to fear him at school and soon was known for starting and ending fights.
Then, his father married Susan Mayfield who later turned into Susan Hargrove. She was a beautiful, feminine, and most importantly a quiet woman, who obeyed his father and would stay quiet, unlike his mother. She also had a kid that was the opposite of herself. Max was a tomboy and she didn’t like anything that normal girls would like, she was never quiet and had a lot of opinions. If Billy was being honest, he saw a lot of him in Max.
Nonetheless, Billy’s distrustful demeanor didn’t allow him and Max to get along a lot of the time at first, although sometimes they did and Billy actually felt okay?
It started small, with Billy watching Halloween and Max joining in. Billy taught Max how to ride a skateboard that he was already getting bored as he thought about the car he wanted to buy when he turned sixteen. Billy then taught her how to actually fight. And the moments whenever Billy’s dad beat him, Max stood up for him and tried to protect him since Neil never got it in him to hit Max, she offered him ice after any fight and they would sit alone without talking while listening to music.
He wouldn’t say he loved her as a sister, but he appreciated her.
Soon, after his sixteen birthday, his favorite place became his Camaro. He had worked almost every day since he was fourteen to save enough money to afford it and he spend every day in that car. A deep part inside of him knew that his car reminded him of surfing and the ocean. The waves crashing against the sand were replaced by the engine of his car, the warm summer breeze could also be felt if he pulled all of his windows down and he was an actually good driver although he could be a little reckless.
Most importantly, his appearance plus the car allowed him to get some interesting attention from girls.
He didn’t realize it probably until he started High School, how people would watch him arrive at his cars, how girls would stare at him and how her cheeks would be tainted pink if he got too close to them and soon Billy had his first kiss. Honestly, it was mostly a stolen one by Sharon Carter, who had grabbed Billy by the neck and put her tongue down his throat.
He didn’t particularly enjoy it but with time everything got better.
Soon, Billy realized that if he didn’t enjoy his life and if his home was hell, he decided to take pleasure where he may find it since it was so scarce for him. He started to have fun with girls, multiple girls, but if he was being honest he was pretty picky on who he decided to go out with. Some called Billy a slut and he got the reputation because it did precede him since he was no one’s boyfriend but still, he didn’t particularly enjoy it and he really thought he had a certain code of honor.
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4,490 notes - Posted June 8, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
18 | Masterlist
Summary: Billy Hargrove needs a Queen and you need someone to help you get out of the hellhole that you are currently in as you move to Hawkins. It should be an easy and obvious solution, right?
Not, not even close. Because it doesn't matter if Billy keeps dreaming about you or that you think that if the sun and the sea had a love child it would look like Billy, you really hate each other's guts -at least, that's what you keep telling yourselves- until you are caught in a not so great position. literally. Lots of insults flying around, lots of lying to yourself, lots of fighting before ending up against a wall your lips inches away from his because that's what enemies do, right?
billy hargrove masterlist
playlist
prologue | chapter one | chapter two | chapter three | chapter four | chapter five | chapter six | chapter seven | chapter eight * | chapter nine | chapter ten | chapter eleven | chapter twelve | chapter thirteen | chapter fourteen | chapter fifteen* | chapter sixteen* | chapter seventeen | chapter eighteen* | chapter nineteen | chapter twenty (scheduled a week from now- read early on my ko-fii!!!)
updates on monday or thursday (hopefully)
also, smut:*
author's note: my writing doesn't condone billy's action in the show.
4,675 notes - Posted June 7, 2022
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