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catastrophicalcat · 4 days

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Catwoman's Love Interests, Ranked

No. 1. Batman. Predictable? Perhaps. Correct choice? Absolutely. They work purrfectly together. I may roll around to write a similar post for Bruce, but from Selina's perspective, he is an equal to her, values her independence, and helps her believe in herself.

(From the double date in Batman (2016) # 37, where Lois is wearing Selina's outfit)

No. 2-10. Selina herself. She is independent! But seriously, one of the things I loved the most from her 90s run was how not romance-focused she was! It was a lot of fun and refreshing to see female main character just not give a fuuuuck about romance.

(Look at her, just slapping this creep away as a squirrel laughs at him! From Catwoman (1993) #30).

No. 11. Christopher Castillo "Blondie". From Selina's adventures in Rome, the Blond was enamoured, charming, and helpful. Also, it wasn't clear if the attraction was truly reciprocal, or if Selina just got a fun vacation boy toy.

(Catwoman, When in Rome #6)

No. 12 Dean Hadley. I am not sure he really qualifies as a love interest, since I don't think that Selina was into him, but at least he died heroically trying to protect her.

(Can't compete with Batman, dies tragically, from Catwoman (2018) # 34)

No. 13 to 20. Selina on her own some more! Can't get enough of this girl on her own! Love the storyline where she unknowingly has a crush on a serial killer in a dog mask. You know what she did when she found out the truth about her crush? That's right, clawed the shit out of him!

(Catwoman (1993) #53. I think this storyline counts as her loving herself than being into this guy - she barely had any qualms about dumping him once she found out; none of that "but maybe I can fix him" for this cat!)

No. 21. The Riddler. Shocking choice, I know! But I'm thinking here of the Lonely City version - Batman is dead, time has passed, he made amends, they found each other. Doesn't work in other continuities, was fun here.

(Catwoman: Lonely City #3. The reveal that Eddie was a coke addict makes SO.MUCH.SENSE).

No. 22. James Thien. I guess he was fine. I didn't like it because her interest into him was really jarring - this was during the post-wedding break-up period when Selina was generally falling apart. But James was neither fish nor fowl. There wasn't enough development for her to be genuinely interested in him, and her interest was portrayed more like genuine interest than a random hook-up.

(Literally, I think that this is all the development there is! And then I don't remember what happened to him. Maybe he also died? That kind of seems to happen to her love interests a lot. Catwoman (2018) #12)

Nos. 22-90. Selina on her own some more! And Eiko. And others. Never enough of Selina being on her own! I also think that Eiko goes somewhere here probably, if not in my earlier "Selina on her own spot" - I just haven't read the New 52 run so I dunno. Other possible contenders in this range:

Onyx (but I don't think they had enough development)

The Trickster (Reddit tells me he's a Catwoman love interest but I don't remember it so it must have been neither good nor bad)

Spark (also new 52, so I dunno).

OK, this is where we get to bottom of the barrel, where unfortunately most other folks are. BTW, what's up with Selina having so many relationships with older mentor figures?

No. 91. Frank Baz. Some mafioso with whom Selina was hanging out in Italy. Ranked so low since he seems like a bad guy, there was a big age difference with her being really young, and he didn't do that much.

No. 91. Slam Bradley Sr. I think that Brubaker did a decent job making the romance between Selina and Slam Sr. work. I like how the run addressed how messy this relationship was, and how Slam was kind of preying on Selina's vulnerable emotional state. (Slam shouldn't have won that argument, but at least it was raised!) But unfortunately this is ranked so low since Slam becomes kind of a chump later on in the run and Selina's relationship with his son makes this very creepy.

(From Catwoman (2001) #17. Their relationship was actually pretty good in the beginning, but quickly got icky...)

No. 92. Wildcat/Ted Grant. I really like the backstory of Selina learning boxing from Wildcat. It's a sweet little bit setting up her eventual super-heroics, plus, Wildcat is awesome! He's a grumpy old man who is respected by everyone, even Batman (whom he also trained). Which is why I hated when Wildcat/Catwoman wrote her to have a crush on him. Gross! Did I mention that he's old?

(Catwoman/Wildcat #3. The art in this book is really 90s)

No. 92. Slam Bradley Jr. I totally get that hot people in costumes would have one night stands on rooftops after adrenaline rush situations. And the poor guy died right after sleeping with Selina! Nonetheless, ranked so low because it's sooo weird since she slept with his dad - which I think he knew - plus I'm pretty sure that their relationship started really antagonistic. Principles before hoes, bro! Also, not his fault but I don't like how he messed up Helena's paternity story some more.

(Catwoman (2001) #61. No idea why Selina tells the dad the story about how she banged his son?)

No. 93. Cat cult person who kidnapped Selina, dressed her up as princess Leia, and tried to marry her. Forgot this dude's name. Considering the stuff he did, he was a pretty nice dude. But - the stuff he did is pretty despicable!

(Catwoman #31. I really hated this storyline, so I feel like he should be lower, but I also really hated Stark and Valmont, so where can it go? Also not sure that kidnapping and forced marriage qualifies as a "love interest"; may rethink including him altogether but I also wanted to emphasize how much I don't like Stark or Valmont).

No. 94. Stark. Criminal who took Selina under his wing when she was still an underage sex worker, and slept with her. He's also a murderer. Pretty gross person overall, really creepy relationship.

(Selina's Big Score)

No. 95. Valmont. I really hate Valmont, OK? I wrote a whole giant post already about how much I hate him!

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astraymetronome · 2 months

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is it wrong that I kinda want to see dream Being used as a stuffed toy by a sleepy/ bird brain Tommy ?

Nope! Of course not!

Be aware this is a one-off for my main story! I've been working on it since this ask came in around mid-March. I've named it to put it on Ao3 and for my master list!

Warning- Emetophobia, Mentions of fatal vore, a single mention of the character Wilbur soot.

Otherwise please enjoy,

A Nest of Pig and Sheep.

Note-

Birds are really nice and I have an obsession with dsmp. Also- sorry I haven't posted in a while, I'm working on chapter three so expect that soon enough. I also got my nose pierced and it's infected so I'm juggling things.

I'm also well aware of the current Wilbur situation and I support Shubble 100%! It's a little confusing and everything so I'm not gonna bring Wilbur up in anything I post for a while. I just don't know how to feel about it.

Tommy still remembered the stress he’d felt when talking with Techno about the situation currently sitting in his stomach. He’s gotten into a routine of when he would keep Dream trapped away and when Techno would keep an eye on Dream while he took a moment to eat, getaway, and just take a break. It wasn’t that bad, more stressful because Dream refused to let Tommy relax. It was a bad mix for the avian because he couldn’t help the side of his instincts that screamed to please those he imprinted on.

Now, Dream wasn’t the only one he imprinted on. He’d imprinted on Techno and some other family, but the stupid ram was the first one he’d been around when his wings sprouted. If the bird was honest, exile had been hell over the 5 years he’d been stuck in that dumb ass tent. Imprints were hard to get over, it was the main reason he kept wanting to go back to Dream despite his human brain knowing the horrid relationship they shared.

Either way, he was struggling to handle everything together. Tommy was still getting over the past, waking up screaming and having night terrors. His scars would always throb afterward and he was constantly dealing with hearing words from his abdomen as Dream messed with him even from his containment.

It was getting to the point where he was struggling to sleep. Dream would always wait till Tommy was dozing off to start squirming and basically revive his bitching about the situation he’d gotten himself into. It always pissed him off because he was always tired when it happened and he couldn’t do anything about it because they couldn’t trust not having someone watch the shitty ram when he was outside of Tommy’s stomach.

So here he was, half asleep at the kitchen table while Techno made some breakfast. He’s gotten used to chugging the gross mix of fire resistance and regen pots in order to make sure his body wouldn’t hurt him. Despite how much Tommy despised Dream, he couldn’t bring himself to harm him. Yeah, he’d taken the bastard's first two lives, but he wasn’t a monster.

A yawn left him as he watched the piglin brute cook. He would normally try to help, wanting to assist his brother, but Dream hadn’t let him sleep the night before or last night as well. He was angry as he sleepily grumbled and listened to the sound of the sizzling eggs. The smell made his stomach churn, hunger burning more than the potions under his skin. Normally he’d let Dream out in the morning so they both could eat and avoid the embarrassment, but Tommy wasn’t in the mood to deal with him right now.

The avian had dealt with enough anger last night that the idea of being screamed at and cursed out for eating now wasn’t even on his mind. He didn’t care if this pissed off the admin, all he wanted was to eat and try to forget about how tired he was.

“Theseus, you can always do chores later.” The piglin man said with a very small sigh. It was obvious that Techno could see how bone-deep exhausted his little brother was. Tommy found that familiar irritation bubbling in his stomach, wanting to snap at him but he knew better than to bite the hand that feeds you. He just nodded, watching him cook once again.

His eyes were beginning to droop close as his brother worked, the soft sounds of pans and controlled flame were lulling him back to sleep only for his stomach to lurch as a rough shove was placed at the base of his esophagus. Nausea swelled quickly, saliva pooling into his mouth at the same speed. He couldn’t help the growl that built in his throat, a subconscious way to threaten the movement inside his body.

He missed the way Techno’s ears twitched, perking up and towards his direction at the sound. Tommy sat up once more, it was probably a better idea to just give up on sleeping now or at all.

The minutes passed rather quickly, at least as far as he could tell. He blinked softly as his brother placed a plate in front of him before a small cup of tea was sat down as well. He felt a little confused but the smell of it was honestly heavenly. Tommy wanted to scoop up the cup and gulp the apple-scented liquid. He went to cup his hands around the small glass only for his older brother to gently take hold of his hands.

“Before you eat, you’re letting Dream out.” Techno said as he carefully pulled him out of the chair. Tommy held back a chirp, wanting to whine and complain but he didn’t have the energy for it. He gave a nod, agreeing with what his brother wanted before walking to the sink. He acknowledged that the piglin had stepped away as he leaned over and tried to empty his stomach. He couldn’t do it as efficiently as he could with a crop, but avians lacked a gag reflex in exchange for being able to empty their stomachs at will.

Tommy could feel the uncomfortable sensation in his stomach before the squirming weight was forced up and out. He caught the small body in his palms, fingers cradling Dream’s form as he held back a weak whine. He didn’t like throwing up, at all, but they didn’t have a reliable way to trap him. Tommy set Dream down into a bowl of clean soapy water before washing the acid and potions mixer off his hands. He then moved to start cleaning the same combination off of the small ram’s form. Within a moment of starting, Techno placed a hand on his shoulder and carefully pulled him away from the sink.

“I can do it, go eat.” The man mumbled as he pushed the avian towards the table. Tommy simply sighed before giving in and returning to the table.

___

Tommy had devoured most of his breakfast before Techno had finished rinsing Dream off. It was the best thing he’d had in days even if eggs and toast were a pretty common choice for the two of them. The tea had been a sweeter addition than he’d like but it was nice and warmed him up well with how a fire had yet to be made. He could feel the sleepy side of his brain acting up, wanting to give in to the sleepy desire to curl up in his nest. By the time Techno had sat down with Dream tucked into his dress shirt’s front pocket, it was the best place for Techno to keep him without losing his location.

Tommy finished the cup of tea, placing it down before he shoved the last egg into his mouth. He still remembered how his brothers used to call him a cannibal for liking eggs. It wasn’t like they were chicken, plus some kinds of birds eat other breeds. Starlings were prone to it, that's true, but it wasn’t like he wanted to actively hunt actual birds. He didn’t want to do that again. Exile had been the all-time low, he refused to return to that place of his mental and physical health.

He couldn’t help a pleased chirp at the positive weight in his stomach, it wasn’t as heavy as Dream so the sensation wasn’t causing a constant discomfort in his belly. He gave a gentle smile before looking towards his older brother, Techno was eating his own breakfast all while offering some bits to Dream. The main thing that caused a giggle to bubble in his throat was the fact the piglin had lamb sausages instead of beef-related.

A small giggle erupted from his throat before the teen blinked in slight confusion. He wasn’t one to do that. Laughing was something everyone did but Tommy never <em>giggled.</em> He blinked as he looked back up at his brother. He felt confused as he looked around a little before turning to pick up the cup once more. It didn’t smell drugged in any way so nothing really made sense for the fact he began to feel a little on the loppy side.

Techno sighed after a moment before standing, taking the cup from his hand, and setting it down. “Go curl up in my den Tommy.” The brute said before just resuming his meal as if he didn’t just confuse the fuck out of him. Tommy didn’t feel that bothered regardless, his brain just felt fuzzy. The baby bird in his head just happily chirped, eager to listen to his protector as he went to scoop up his plate and cup, planning to place them down in the sink.

Techno simply chuffed, the sound causing Tommy to stop and warble out a complaint. It didn’t even seem to matter since, in seconds, he gave up complaining and instead relaxed to let his older brother take care of the dishes.

A nap in the den sounded nice.

____

Techno watched as Tommy made his way up towards his room. He gave a fond smile once his back was turned and just kept his eyes on how Tommy seemed to be calmer after having drank the tea. The brute found himself sighing as he glanced toward the main elephant in the room, the man in his pocket. The piglin pulled him out, looking over the bastard before placing him on the table.

“Dream. If you don’t stop being stubborn, I’ll eat you myself, and I <em>won’t</em> let you out.” He had respect for the ram, of course, but if Dream didn’t bother to respect Tommy after he won fair and square, he’d do it. He was a man of his word after all.

He could see the way his face shifted and contorted to understand what he was saying, Dream’s face turned slightly frightened before steeling into a stern gaze. “You wouldn’t dare. You can’t kill me, the server would die without an admin!” He barked out. The piglin gave a huff as he scooped up the small man and held him in a loose but firm grip. His hoofs tapped on the tile as he stepped to the sink, placing the plates down inside.

He set Dream on the counter, making sure he was trapped in a glass that wouldn’t allow the dirty blonde to even sit up let alone have the coordination to find a way out. He was quick with the dishes, making sure to keep his eyes on the small man just to be safe. Once he’d finished, and dried off his hands, he made sure to scoop up the man.

“We’re going upstairs, Tommy should be in his instincts by now and I’d rather not deal with an angry bird.” The brute sighed. Techno was well aware he was the reason the avian was in this state. Phil had told him Chamomile tea was a good natural way to trigger instincts. It worked on any hybrid but was really effective on avians. He knew how Tommy was growing up. Before he had even grown his wings the boy’s instincts were bad. The blonde had always been a nest/den hog whenever he was tired or sick. Considering his brother probably hadn’t had a good bout of instincts in a while, this was well overdue since Tommy would rarely even chirp or coo whenever he was comfortable.

Within moments of opening the door, his instincts screaming happily at the heat, Tommy had sat up, his elf-like ears perking curiously, as he tilted his head. He could see how blown out his pupils were, they were widened to the point the smallest rim of the blue could be seen. With this, the blue looked less dull, and brighter than the way Tommy had been before the five years of exile.

If the piglin hybrid was honest, he wished he’d heard about his exile before two years had passed. As far as he’d been aware, Tommy had just been living his life in La’Manburg. His brother probably would have ended up being a vice president or something more. Dream was the main reason, having told others he’d inform Phil and Techno but that hadn’t happened. Phil had been informed through Tubbo and Quackity when they’d rangled him in for the compass and Techno had found out from Ghostbur about a week after Phil had left for La’Manburg.

He felt guilty about it, even after Tommy had betrayed him and left to go back to the people who harmed them both, he knew he’d be here whenever Tommy needed him. That was the role of an older brother and, if Wilbur wasn’t going to fill that role, he would step up and be the figure their baby bird needed.

Techno chuffed as he stepped into the den, Tommy immediately chirped his wings flapping as a small amount of downy slipped from the base of his wings. A small glance at the black and red feathers was enough to tell the brute that Tommy was overdue for some preening. He sighed and stepped in, reaching towards his little brother, before pulling him into his lap. Tommy peeped in response, his wings flapping as the bird glanced back towards him.

“Hold this.” He said simply as he moved Dream towards the little bird’s hands. Tommy didn’t hesitate to grab ahold of the man, the ram screeching in response as he yelled.

“What the hell, Techno! Don’t hand me to some stupid bird who can’t even finish me off!” He barked out. Dream was pissed but Techno wasn’t bothered. He watched as Tommy glanced down at the man before a smile spread across his face. The bird nuzzled him, keeping the blonde near him as he chirped and happily seemed to cuddle him. A part of his brain twinged with jealousy, the protective part of his brain wanting to have his runt cuddling up to him instead but he pushed it away and carefully began to run his fingers through the feathers to start the preening process.

He made his way from the base of his wings towards the tips of his primaries, laying them over the corresponding feathers. He often helped Phil with the base of his wings while occasionally helping with the rest. Their dad had explained that they tend to be more focused on caring for their young instead of having them take care of them.

As he worked, Tommy just seemed to hold Dream on his lap. He seemed to be dozing off while being preened, coos and trills leaving the starling as he pushed his weight into him. By the time he’d finished, Tommy was half asleep, his tail flicking around as he melted into his touch. Techno didn’t hesitate to start placing some golden trinkets into Tommy’s hair, braiding the small amount he could, as he began to give into his own instincts.

The avian had his ears pierced by him when they were younger, Techno’s instincts had gotten the better of him. Tommy had been three then but was an absolute champ over the situation. He took out one of his earrings, slipping the golden hoop into Tommy’s ear, happily chuffing as the bird began to doze off, his breathing evening out as sleep finally claimed the exhausted avian. He relaxed at the sight, taking note of how tightly Tommy held onto Dream. He wouldn’t be able to nap, just in case, but seeing his little brother so relaxed was worth it.

They’d work through this.

Even if the entire server paid for their choices.

#mcyt fanfiction #mcyt g/t #mcyt vore #dsmp tommy #trapped dream au #tiny!dream #avian!tommy #starling au #fanfic #ram!dream #emetophobia warning #digestion mention #aka techno does a heckin threat

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