#to anyone finding out from this post it is sadly true and im so sorry for our loss

[imadumdumjewel]

Coming to terms

wow why am i posting my own personal opinions in my reblog blog

but straight to the point is i am still learning to accpet myself for being different when it comes to the owl house.

YES.

IM SORRY TO SAY I STILL DONT LIKE IT.

YES IM NEURODIVERGENT

YES IM SOCIALLY AWKWARD

YES I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO MEET EXPECTATIONS OF MY SOCIETY EVEN AFTER HAVING LEFT WHERE I WAS BORN

YES KING IS CUTE AND EDALYN IS FUNNY

YES BELOS/PHILLIP IS SO WELL-WRITTEN THAT I LIKE EVERYONE ELSE WANT TO PUNCH HIM AND WISH HIM DEAD

YES HUNTER WILLOW GUS ARE GOOD

YES DANA TERRACE IS TALENTED

but sadly i just cant connect or resonate with luz or amity. nor the species. palisman? well, maybe flapjack since he is cute and im sad that he died. and yes it sucks that disney has canned it as disney is stupid.

but i just cant.

maybe its because of lumity. maybe its because of the mention of the term demons. maybe its because it gets dark and traumatic quite quickly.

maybe its because dana terrace insulted people who disagreed with her agenda of using this series for lgbt ppl.

its never wrong for lgbt ppl n nonbinaries of wanting to find a conduit/outlet to express themselves. i acknowledge their presence, they're ppl after all. sadly i do have my concerns of children and teen kids finding their sexualities THIS prematurely. its better for them to find their hobbies and friends and goals and dreams first before coining their own sexualities due to media influences. and tbh i grow up in Hong Kong which is actually conservatitive as an entire capsule. my teachers and church taught me to avoid this at all cost. and i perhaps am on the spectrum of being more conservatitive.

yet whenever i voice out my concerns and reasons, ppl bash me. because they think im dissing a fabulous show and they also claim that im homophobic. not helped that the fanbase is mainly from USA and UK and Euorpean and America.

And I’ve realized that I and many can’t watch things that not only fail to match preferences, but also when a fanbase is this unacceptable to people who have a different viewpoint.

i never said that homo people and non-binary are crap. i just dont feel that way or agree with their ideas. and most of the time i just let them live. you can call me indifferent but i really dont want to care.

yet they dont care. all they think is "you dont support theowl house means you are homo and a disney apologist"

i was young, so i was taught to be afraid.

yes i acknowledge my child self was being linear. yet simultaneously i have been feeling painful for not feeling the same support as anyone else. because back when the owl house was announced, i was interested actually! after all im interested into the magic genre to an extent!

its just that after details about it was released and that enchanting grom fright came out, i no longer have the resonance. which was sad as i did glimpse that amity was showing her true colors in a positive manner.

its ok if all of you still want to fight for lgbt nonbinary trans rights. its your choice. i cant and wont object too much if you dont feel like changing your choices. live your own lives.

but pls, dont accuse me just because i think differently and is straight. and i have the right to appreciate the show despite not liking it.

Feel free for all of you to watch the owl house because you like it for your own reasons.

signing off.

[oddaodd]

· Wailing Teapots ·

Summary: When Tommy begins suspecting of Y/n's true allegiances he goes and questions her in her apartment only to discover a dark secret. (Angst/Fluff)

Warnings: Implications of abuse. (Nothing too graphic but just in case).

Author's note: I'm back! It feels so good to write again! My life has been a bit hectic lately, but I hope I can continue to make time for my writing because it honestly feels like coming back home after the most exhausting of voyages. Anyhow I hope y'all enjoy this and have the loveliest of days. ❤️

·

Three strong knocks on the door stole Y/n’s attention from the live fire burning in her fireplace. With quiet feet she tiptoed to the door and placed her hand on the doorknob and stood still hoping to hear something that could tell her who it was behind the door, but she could only hear her own heartbeat beating violently in her ribcage as she held her breath.

She slightly hated herself for being afraid, but she couldn’t not be afraid, not with all the letters that had been delivered to her home.

“I know you’re in there Y/n”

As soon as she recognized the voice as Tommy’s, she finally breathed again before partly opening the door a weak smile gracing her features when she took in the sight of him. Before she could ask him what he was doing there he pushed the door open and allowed himself inside.

The smile vanished from her face in an instant and she quickly closed the door. There was something different about him, something that made the hairs on her arms stand up in trepidation. His eyes didn’t look like they had done a few nights prior when he took Y/n to the outskirts of town for a walk. The kind of walk in which one shares the kind of conversations that makes people grow closer together, the kind of walk which ends with a gentle kisses and fleeting touches.

“This is a nice place” he commented taking off his peaky cap, not even sparing Y/n a glance as he began walking slowly through the apartment which though small and plain held a considerable amount of expensive yet tasteful looking knick knacks that brightened up the whole place despite the old furniture that had beed there when Y/n first moved in.

“You couldn’t have waited for a formal invitation, could you?” She asked in a light tone still standing by the door, in the hope that it could change Tommy’s odd aura, but he ignored her question all together

“Almost too nice, wouldn’t you agree?” He asked picking up a vase and examining it before finally turning to look at Y/n.

“Tommy?” She asked, not really knowing why was he acting so strange.

“I know I pay you fair wages” he began, putting the vase down fixing his eyes on the fireplace where small traces of burnt paper rested “but I highly doubt you were able to make yourself of such an array of treasures with what I pay you.”

“All of this came with me from America.” She said feeling like she ought to explain herself and though her answer was an honest one, Tommy didn’t seem convinced, nevertheless, he hummed in mocking understanding before clearing his throat .

“Aren’t you gonna offer me tea?”

“Sure…where are my manners?” she said with a nervous laugh before walking to where her stove was and putting a kettle on.

Tommy followed her closely and drew a chair from her flimsy kitchen table before sitting down and taking notice of her shaky hands as she tied around a bit in the kitchen with her back to him as he sat on her favorite chair.

“Wish you had told me you were coming, I would have..”she began as she opened her pantry to put away some bread.

“You’ve been burning letters” he interrupted, not being able to shake off the image of the paper remains.

Y/n stilled for a moment before closing her pantry, thing which he noticed.

“Yeah, I don’t have the room to keep every single letter I get ” Y/n said, a defensiveness lingering softly in her words.

“I agree” Tommy said in a cold tone “specially when you are getting so many of them. Paul tells me he delivers at least 10 a week here” he continued, referring to the mailman who after being questioned by Tommy forgot all about post confidentiality.

“They are my mother’s” Y/n stuttered out.

The teapot then wailed, making her jump slightly before going to remove it from the stove and finally turning around to go and pour Tommy a cup.

“Right” Tommy said, his eyes not leaving Y/n’s figure as she poured the tea.

“Yeah, she’s ever so passionate about plants, been telling me all a-a-about her new greenhouse.” She continued pressured by Tommy’s heavy stare and silence.

Tommy offered a small cynical smile that Y/n didn’t see, she didn’t want to look at him. She felt like crying for she realized just then how suspicious she looked.

The sound of the chair being drawn again teased at Y/N’s ears, forcing her to look up at Tommy who was calmly walking towards her. She had never been afraid of him, but she couldn’t help but back away as he inched closer to her, her eyes widening.

“Who is Clyde Attenborough?” He asked producing another letter from his pocked like the many ones Y/n had been receiving for a while now. Same stamps and everything.

Color drained from her face at the sight of the letter and she found herself unable to produce an answer as her back came in soft contact with her pantry.

“What does he know? He asked.

“Where I live” Y/n whispered sorrowfully as a tear finally slipped down her cheek. Her eyes being for mercy.

“What have you been telling him?”

“Nothing” she answered truly.

“I bet he pays generously to know how the company works”

“I swear im not working for anyone else” Y/n stuttered, finally understanding why Tommy was so suspicious. Being his secretary, she knew plenty about the skeletons the family kept.

“Then why are you crying?” He pressed.

“Because you’re scaring me.”

Her words seemed to have an effect on Tommy for he immediately backed away, throwing the letter on the table, his back to her.

”I’m not gonna hurt you” he stated, beating himself up for corralling Y/n like that. His voice much less menacing than mere seconds ago. “Who is Clyde Attenborough?”

“I haven’t been honest with you” she finally confessed sniffing. To hell with everything.

At this Tommy turned around to look at her an unpleasant mix of emotions swimming in his eyes.

“Im married” she sobbed “Clyde’s my husband”

For the first time in a long time, Tommy was caught off guard.

“I came to Small Heath because I ran away from him, I figured he’d never find me but..” She said taking the letter in her shaky hands as if the thing were to blow off in any given second “I guess I was wrong. I-I don’t know how he found me”

She shifted her teary gaze from the letter to a shocked Tommy “I swear im not passing information” she chuckled sadly, the knot in her throat choking her a little.

Tommy stood glued in the same spot, not knowing what to do. His world had come crashing down when he began suspecting of Y/n’s alliances after Polly suggested he look into it. A pretty American girl, moving to a grey English town, taking up a job that was exhausting at best. It reminded him a little too much of Grace.

Now that he knew the truth , he didn’t feel any better.

“Is he dangerous?” He found himself asking after a few seconds of silence.

Y/n sniffed as she walked to her fireplace “I wouldn’t have left if he wasn’t” she said as she threw the letter into the crackling flames.

“Is he in Birmingham?”

“He keeps writing that he’ll come get me if I don’t go back, but im not sure” she answered.

Tommy fought the urge to go up to her and take her in his arms and instead put his peaky cap back on before heading for the door.

“I’m sorry” he whispered before stepping out of her place, The guilt of intimidating her in her own house gnawing at his insides and the newfound anger her husband created present on his drive home.

The next day Y/n noticed as she peeped out the window two men, both in peaky caps standing at the entrance of her apartment complex.

Three more days passed and Y/n was again surprised tby the sound of three knocks on her door as she read one evening.

“Its me, Y/N” Tommy’s voice flowed through the door shortly after the knocks.

Y/n quickly got off her couch and made her way to open the door. Her eyes falling on Tommy’s apologetic features.

“It’s dealt with” he said in all seriousness. The thick accent she loved so much vibrating through her ears.

As soon as she registered what Tommy had just said she let out a strained breath, her lips turned into a tired smile and a lone tear slipped out her misty eyes.

“Wanna come in?” She asked after a few seconds, feeling happier than she had felt for days.

“Is this a formal invitation?” He asked, a soft smile tugging at his lips, relieved that his antics from a few days prior hadn’t maimed Y/n´s trust.

At his question she just smiled, looking at him lovingly before taking hold of his hand and pulling him into her apartment before pressing her lips to his in a soft yer passionate manner. Without breaking the kiss, Tommy then closed the door.

·

@captivatedbycillianmurphy @peakyxtommy @nyotamalfoy @writeroutoftime @babylooneytoonz @lilymurphy03 @slytherinicequeen

[whoseafraidofliloleme]

Invisible Chapter 13

Summary: YN YLN has always been third in Class 2-5, right behind Lee Su Ho and Kang Soo Jin but with both of them having left Saebom Highschool, this is her time to shine. That is until Han Seosangnim asks her to tutor Han Seo Jun. A guy who doesn’t even know she existed.

Ship: Han Seo Jun x Female Reader.

Word Count: 2489 words.

Sorry, it's been so long since the last chapter... Im in my third year of university and that ish is hard. No idea when I'll be writing and posting the next chapter. Sorry for the very sporadic update schedule this fic has.

Thank you to everyone who is still reading this. Hopefully, you all enjoy this chapter.

Likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated with any reactions or whatever you want to say. Again I really don't know where I am going with this.

Taglist: @thealexalcala @hayateotaku @tomihoeka @goatqueen3 @jeminiepabo @hiraeth-maximoff @yaomomvs

Anyone interested in being added to the tag list, just let me know 😊.

True Beauty Masterlist.

Chapter 12.

Chapter 13:

From the high of the weekend. Monday was a different story. As Seo Jun looked at YN, Hyun Ji and Si Woo sat together eating lunch in silence. This was quite a departure from when the trio would sit with the group and eat. Loudly chatting, being annoying and just having fun. This whole day the three of them had been acting weird. Feeling someone tap his shoulder, he looked at Ju Kyung, she nodded her head in their direction.

“Something is definitely wrong with them. Hyun Ji and Si Woo just started dating but neither are acting like it. YN should be over the moon but she’s just upset” Ju Kyung said looking at the three of them sadly. Soo Ah, Seo Jun and Cho Rong all nodded their heads.

“It’s almost like we’ve gone back in time with Hyun Ji and YN being isolated from our Class but worse because none of us knows why they are being like that. At least before we could blame Hae Sung but who knows the reason this time.” Soo Ah sighed, she hated what was happening today. From the moment the YN and Hyun Ji stepped into class this morning, they looked sad and like they hadn’t slept all night. In YN’s case, she looked like she had been crying. When she saw Si Woo, he seemed just as depressed as the other two.

“Well, we’ve got to get to the bottom of this. I can’t handle YN looking so sad and not knowing who I should be beating up for it” Seo Jun huffed out. He was annoyed. After that cheek kiss, it had taken the whole of Sunday, a video chat with Su Ho, Ju Kyung screaming at him and Cho Rong writing up a whole plan. For him to finally be ready to ask YN out today. Only for YN to come in looking like she had found out her whole life was a lie.

Ju Kyung whacked his shoulder. Making Seo Jun yelp. Which made YN, Hyun Ji and Si Woo turn to look at them. Seo Jun saw YN give him a small smile. Seo Jun smiled back at her happy that he at least managed to make her smile once today.

“You know very well Han Seo Jun, that the last thing YN would want is for you to beat up someone. She’s stopped you from beating up Hae Sung enough times for you to know better” Ju Kyung told Seo Jun angrily. While he agreed with what she said. Physically hurting whoever made YN sad would make him feel better. Yet finding out what was upsetting her was the first priority. The second was making YN happy. And if he could get away with it, he would beat someone up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The day had gone by pretty quickly. Unfortunately, School and the antics of your class didn’t help, in taking your mind away from thinking about what you’d found out about Hae Sung.

You felt guilty about ruining Hyun Ji and Si Woo’s first day as a couple in school. They were just as upset if not more about everything. They didn’t deserve to have their day ruined by Hae Sung and his manipulations. You knew they were angry on your behalf. You loved them for it but they should enjoy being a couple today.

They had slept over at your house and the three of you had come to School together. You had made up your mind to send them off to just spend time together, just have a date or whatever but anything that didn’t involve you being the third wheel. Also so they could just relish in the fact that they were finally together after so many years of pining after each other.

That plan of yours was thwarted the moment, you saw Cho Rong and Ju Kyung dragging Si Woo and Hyun Ji into the classroom where you were with Seo Jun for your tutoring session. Seo Jun stood up and stood at the front of the class. Cho Rong told Hyun Ji and Si Woo to sit next to you. Silently they took their seats, looking at you with questions in their eyes. You shrugged; you had no idea what was going on. Cho Rong cleared his throat and you three turned to look at him. He was standing with Ju Kyung and Seo Jun. All three had their arms crossed.

“Uh what the hell is going on?” Si Woo after it had been silent for some time, with them just looking at you. Making you squirm, Hyun Ji looking away and Si Woo failing to keep eye contact with any of them.

“We should be asking you three that, today you’ve all been acting weird, and we would like to know why,” Ju Kyung said politely. You exchanged looks with Hyun Ji and Si Woo. The three of you nodded in unison. Hyun Ji opened her mouth to reply but you cut her off.

“I’ll explain but can you guys let Hyun Ji and Si Woo go. They were going on a date after school and well the reason for us acting weird is all to do with me anyway” You quickly say. Despite their protests. Cho Rong escorts them out of the classroom. Once he comes back you take a deep breath.

“Uh before I start, I just want to know, why do you guys, dislike Lee Hae Sung?” You ask calmly. Cho Rong lets out a laugh while Seo Jun and Ju Kyung look confused.

“I’ve got a list of reasons, but my main reason is that the guy acts like he is so much better than everyone. He treats everyone, apart from you YNie his best friend like dirt” Cho Rong proclaimed. You nodded your head agreeing. Hae Sung didn’t know how to treat people he perceived to be beneath him. No matter how much you lectured him on treating everyone the same. He just didn’t listen. You turned to Ju Kyung, nodding at her to speak.

“I haven’t been here long enough but every time I’ve seen Lee Hae Sung, he has either been shouting at you YNie or he’s being mean to our classmates. Oh, and the time he almost hit Hyun Ji. That was the worst thing he could’ve done. So, I just stay out of his way” You sighed, everything Ju Kyung said was true. Hae Sung had made the worst impression on her. Ju Kyung hadn’t even been at Saebom High School for that long, but she knew to steer clear from Hae Sung.

“I’ve got quite the story. Sometime after we first started at Saebom, Su Ho and I heard this guy shouting in a classroom and then that guy stormed out of the classroom. We went to the classroom to see what was going on. We heard this girl crying but we didn’t know what to do. So Su Ho messaged Soo Jin to come to that classroom, we waited outside till Soo Jin came. Later she told us what was going on. I hated Hae Sung from the moment I found out that he screamed at her girl and left her to tears” Seo Jun told you.

You didn’t know what to say to that. You had no idea that Seo Jun and Su Ho had called Soo Jin when they heard you crying. To think that would’ve been your first meeting with Seo Jun. You with your eyes red and puffy from crying. Well, you’d cried in front of him before and you already liked the guy. But as a first meeting, it would’ve been disastrous.

“Uh, that would’ve been an interesting first meeting, to say the least right.” Why would you say that? What is wrong with you. You just looked down berating yourself for even opening your mouth after what Seo Jun had revealed.

Ju Kyung and Cho Rong looked at Seo Jun confused. Seo Jun was thinking about what you’d just said when it clicked in his head.

“You were the girl, Hae Sung made cry that day.” Seo Jun exclaimed shocked. You just nodded your head before looking back down at the ground, fiddling with your hands nervously.

You could feel the tears gathering in our eyes. You furiously started blinking, you were not going to cry in front of Ju Kyung and Cho Rong. Not in front of Seo Jun again. You’d cried enough yesterday, how did you still have tears left to spill.

Seo Jun saw you with your head ducked down. The anger that had built up in him left instantaneously. All he wanted to do was comfort you. Be the shoulder for you to cry on again. He looked at Ju Kyung and Cho Rong. Whispered for them to leave. They left immediately. Seo Jun knelt in front of you. He took hold of your hands in his. This made you look up at him.

As you two gazed into each other’s eyes. A tear slipped out of your eyes. Gently Seo Jun wiped that tear away.

“Hey, let’s not cry. Lee Hae Sung is not worth your precious tears. It hurts me to see you cry Princess” You smile softly at what Seo Jun says. It’s been some time since he’s called you that. You’ve missed it. It was supposed to be patronising when he first called you Princess but since then it has become an inside joke between you two. That Seo Jun only uses to make you smile.

“Sorry, I always seem to end up crying in front of you,” You say sadly. It’s not that you hated crying or thought it was bad. No, you like any other girl who liked a guy. Just wanted to show him the best of you. Not your crying face. You wanted Seo Jun to remember how you looked in your pretty dress from the Ball. Not for your crying face to be what he remembers. Only because he’s seen it so many times before.

Unbeknownst to the two of you in the classroom. Ju Kyung and Cho Rong were outside looking at the scene before them. They couldn’t hear what was going on but seeing was enough for them.

“Do you think Seo Jun will do it?” Cho Rong whispers to Ju Kyung.

She looks at Cho Rong before looking back at the two people in the classroom. From the way Seo Jun was looking at you and how you were looking back with the same look in your eyes.

“Honestly I hope so but at this rate, they might just kiss, and I’ll take that as a win,” Ju Kyung says quietly. Cho Rong nods his head in agreement, turning to look back at the two of you in the classroom.

“You have nothing to be sorry for Princess. I’d gladly always be the shoulder you cry on.” Seo Jun tell you. You look at him in shock. You had convinced yourself that Seo Jun must hate you for crying so much around him. To hear the opposite from his won mouth you were stunned.

Seo Jun can’t help but laugh at your shocked face. You were just too cute for words sometimes. Seo Jun gets you to stand up. You do and he hugs you. Surprised you become still. Then you relax and wrap your arms around Seo Jun, hugging him. After what felt like hours to both of you. You let go of each other. You smile at Seo Jun, who smiles back at you.

“How do you seem to know the right things to say to me Han Seo Jun,” You ask jokingly. Not really expecting an answer, you’ve started to get your things and are packing up when Seo Jun’s answer stops you.

“Well, when I see your tears YLN YN I just say the first thing that I hope will make you smile,” Seo Jun says. Seeing that you’ve stopped moving. He comes closer to you.

You look at him, as he walks towards you. If this was a drama, there would be some sappy song playing in the background. Alas, the only things you can hear is your heart pounding furiously and the shouts of the boy’s playing basketball outside the classroom.

Seo Jun smiles at you. He puts some hair that had fallen into your face behind your ear. He smiles when he sees your face heating up. You were too adorable and if he didn’t ask you out now. He would forever be annoyed with himself.

“Uh, the reason we were all acting so weird today was that yesterday we found out some stuff regarding me and Hae Sung which made me rethink why I ever considered him my best friend.” you blurt out suddenly. The tension was rising in the room and in a panic, you simply told Seo Jun what had been going on today.

Seo Jun blinks. Processing what you just told him. Makes sense that it would be Lee Hae Sung as the reason for you being upset. It was always that guy. Just once Seo Jun wanted to punch the idiot. But he knew how much that would disappoint you. The last thing Seo Jun wanted to do was disappoint you by picking a fight with Hae Sung.

Sighing, Seo Jun started to pick up his things as well. You were waiting for him. The moment was gone. No, that moment was gone but Seo Jun was determined. He did not spend the whole of yesterday being screamed at, talking to and being given a whole plan. That he doesn’t ask you out today.

As you were walking towards to door, Seo Jun grabbed your wrist gently. You turned to look at him confusion clear in your eyes. He smiles at you, and you smile back still confused.

“I wanted to know if you wanted to go out tomorrow. Not us studying outside of school. No. I Han Seo Jun am asking you YLN YN out on a date?”

You look at Seo Jun in astonished silence. You didn’t hear that correctly. You shake your head, look at Seo Jun holding your wrist. Your eyes follow his arm up to his face. You look into his eyes. Those eyes you could drown in. There is nothing but sincerity in his eyes. This guy you like is genuinely asking you out. You open your mouth to reply but no sounds come out. Taking a deep breath. You look at Seo Jun smiling at you. You can’t help but smile back at him.

“Yes, I’d love to go on a date with you Han Seo Jun” In his excitement Seo Jun picks you up, spinning you around. You laugh, telling him to put you down. He does and then takes your hand in his, interlocking your fingers you both walk out of the classroom.

Chapter 14.

[unlikelyempathpruneauthor]

Tour without You

Summary: fans saw the video of cal singing ghost of you and people think you two broke up.

a/n: SO YALL KNOW WHICH VIDEO I'M TALKING ABOUT RIGHT? Idk if he was actually crying, but a part of me tells me he was, but idk who knows, but i hope he was okay and is doing okay now.

You were currently home watching duke at yours and cal’s place. You couldn't go on tour with cal because of work, so being alone was a norm you had grown into. Whenever you didn't go on tour you and cal would spend time calling one another whenever a show was over, so he could see you and if you needed to comfort him for anything. He hated when he had to leave you alone, but you would reassure him you had someone that was a part of him. Duke would usually stay with the dog sitter, but when you stayed back home you watched duke. You two would have some quality time together as usual so the small pup can use his energy throughout the day.

For Cal though today, just wasn't his day. Their bus tour had taken a re-route, they got to the venue late, he couldn't focus during rehearsal since it was cut short, from them arriving late. Usually when stress came he was able to handle it well, but you usually were there to comfort him right there and then, which also added to his stress as well, not being able to be with you in moments like these. Fans in the audience and online had seen his expression and worried for him, especially when singing Ghost of you. He hated that his stress would reflect how he acts during shows, but today was really bad for him. Cal doesn't really notice when fans are recording, but a video had gone viral during the concert within minutes and fans skepulating about you and cal. You had no idea of this hence you not being near your phone all day and having a nice day out with duke. Your phone had been blasting all night and once you got home with duke you checked it once seeing all the notifications on all of your socials.You were slightly confused as to why there were so many so you checked it out.

@5SOSUPDATES: is it possible cal and y/n broke up? Could be because they haven been posting with one another. Also today’s performance he seemed sad, especially during Ghost of you.

“What the hell?” you said as the puppy barked at you as you continued to look for something that gave you some sort of idea that was going on. Then MTV also made a topic off of it.

SPECULATING BREAK UP RUMOURS: POPSTAR CALUM HOOD AND GIRLFRIEND Y/N L/N POSSIBLY BROKE UP BEFORE A SHOW DURING TOUR

You were quick to find the resources they were using to claim these speculations and there was a video of cal singing ghost of you, at first it was all good, he was singing good, you saw no sad emotions, but when it got to him harmonizing, with the ghost of you, that's when his expression changed. At first you thought that it was just the way he was singing. But you looked over and yeah you were convinced he was crying.

You tried to first go over anything you might have said to make him upset, but there was nothing, you texted when you could and he seemed fine the night before, so you didn't know what was wrong. Unless he lied to you, which he would do when he was away from you. He didn't want to bother you, but you always told him to talk to you when he was feeling down and not himself. You were always going to be there to talk to him always. Just then you got a call from mali, you were quick to answer as she probably has seen these as well.

“Mali, hey.” you said as she spoke, “hey super weried, but have you been on your socials and possibly MTV?” she asked as you sighed, “yes i have.” you said as she contuned, “okay, is it ture?? Did you two break up? Omg did cal do something because i swear-” she said as you giggled and cut her off, “no we didn't, well at least i think so, but uh, no i called him before this show and he seemed fine, but you know how he is, he doesn't tell the full truth until you get it out of him.” you said as she hummed, “thats true, well are you talking to him tonight?” she asked as you hummed back, “yeah i should be getting a call in about an hour, i dont think he has checked his phone yet, so i'll call you first thing alright?” you said as she hummed and you two said your goodbyes. As your phone was still blowing up, more and more rumours were being made, but you didn't expect to be getting attacked.

5SOSWILDFLOWER: Yall, there are some photos of y/n with another guy before cal had gone to tour, guess cal has a reason.

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Caly/n_stan: i don't think she would cheat though, they've been together for years.

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Lukehemmingsstan: i mean yeah but people change especially when dating a celeb, and it wouldn't be the first time a 5sos member would be cheated on.

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@mikeycliff5sos: i mean you can tell she was just in it for the money and the fame, she never spoke about her job.

You were at first confused as to what pictures you were talking about, but then you clearly remember you were with the dog sitter, who happens to be a guy. He was one of Cal's best friends and he always took care of duke when you were away. You were there before cal had gone to tour, to tell him personally that you were staying with duke, since you knew him and it would be nice to catch up on duke’s behavior. Of course the fans didn't know that, but that didn't mean they should attack you. You were kinda stressed about this situation, especially with the things being said, fans even started to question your real intentions with cal and wondered if you were just after cal for his money and fame questioning your line of work as well, which wasnt public because you line of work was importnatn, you were a visual editor at entertainment company and well you kept it private and you didn't want any problems.

On cal’s side of things, he hadnt checked his phone at all wanting to handle one side of stress at a time. After teh show he realxed before calling you, making sure he looked good and fine. But once he lifted his phone he had seen so many notifications, at first he thought it was about the show from tonight but when he clicked he saw everything that was being said about you and him that you two had broken up and the means things being said about you. He was quick to call you as you answered quickly hoping he was okay.

“Hey” you both said quite rapidly, “sorry you go first.” cal said as you sighed and spoke, “are you okay? But i want to know the full truth cal, you know you can talk to me.” you said as he rubebd his head and wished he had spoken to you before anything, he knew if he talked to you hten these rumours wouldnt be made. “Fuck love, im sorry, we had to reroute the show for tonight we got there late, and rehearsal was rushed and, today i didn't do my best to hide my stressed emotions, i tried, but i couldnt, all i wnated to do was talk to you before the show, but i wasnt able to,” he said as his voice was cracking and you felt bad for him, you knew he handled stress well, but you knew today was one of those days, “bub its okay, just talk to me about this kind of stress to help you when you can, no matter what time it may be. I know im not htere, but remeber im a phone call away, always. No matter waht okay, you call me when youre feeling like this.” you said as he smiled a little missing you so much more than he should be able to.

“Youre too good for me you know that? Im sorry for waht the fans are saying, i'll straighten it out babe, they shouldnt be saying this stuff about you,” he said as you giggled, “its fine, it hurt at first, but i mean this all happend beucase i was out with dukes dogsitter,” you said as he laughed a little, “gosh the fans are really out of hand, i love you so much, youre there for me more than many times i could even count, you know youre it for me,” he said as you blushed hearing his words, he would tell you this all the time. It was true, you were it for him and he was it for you. “And youre it for me too, and i'll happily be there for you, always you know that.” you said as he smiled and jsut couldnt wait to get home to you. After talking for about 2 hours, you said your goodbyes and you had gone with the rest of your day as cal had straighten out with the fans about his citation.

He posted a picture on his story of you and captioned it:

To clear out the rumours from today, me and y/n are happily together. y/n has not and has never cheated on me, for those who know she is everything to me and i will do anything to not lose her. There is no anger towards this situation jsut please, be careful with what you say on the interent, even if y/n and i dont post about us everyday its not htat wer are not together, we like to live in the present with one another since i go away for tour. Usually shes here with me, but sadly she isnt. So again please just be aware with what you are posting, we are human and things that were said towards her will hurt anyone.

[clavis-baby]

Songs that You would listen to After a Breakup with The Brothers

(Lucifer,Mammon,Satan,Asmo)

I’m so sorry I was listening to reckless and it made me feel something (also I’ve never dated anyone sooo shhh)

Also I tried to add at least 3/4 to every brother but I realized they all had a Olivia Rodrigo song so sorry about that also I tried not cross over the same songs 😅

Also Spotify Playlist!!!

————-

Lucifer

enough for you - Olivia Rodrigo

Okay so first Olivia track honestly I know we all cried to her whole album don’t deny it but essentially I felt that with the lyrics I wore makeup when we dated“'Cause I thought you'd like me more If I looked like the other prom queens” and “Tried so hard to be everything that you liked” I feel like Lucifer would expect that his lover to be perfect honestly this song really would work well with both of Satan and Lucifer so deciding between them was pretty hard but the pushing point for me to put this with Lucifer was the lyric “But I don't think anything could ever be enough”

Without me - Halsey

(Ugh I love Halsey so much and her baby soon!!!) Anyway!! For Lucifer I really think that his pride would’ve gotten in the way of all of his relationships he’s ever had but “Feeling so high but too far away to hold me You know I'm the one who put you up there Name in the sky Does it ever get lonely?” Just screams Lucifer and how the chorus keeps on saying “I said I'd catch you if you fall” ahh perfect (could also work for Asmo)

I knew you were trouble - Taylor Swift

Won’t lie but embarrassed that I choose this song but it works for Lucifer sooo whatever but the chorus really is a fairly good start I feel like anyone who has a brain (even tho MC really doesn’t) dating Lucifer wouldn’t be particularly 100% safe but whatever he’s most people’s favorites again I used to love this song but don’t anymore so when I looked up songs about break ups (yes I did that) and Trouble came up I relistened and with these lyrics I had to include it No apologies “He'll never see you cry Pretends he doesn't know That he's the reason why”

Let Me down Slowly - Alec Benjamin

Now if this was a cheating thing and he did cheat this would be like the absolute BEST SONG!! But tbh this is a pretty good song for any breakup I feel like…OH WELL! :) the first lyric FIRST LYRIC “This night is cold in the kingdom” I felt represented his pride idk how to explain but idk T-T I can explain the rest tho >~< “I once was a man with dignity and grace Now I'm slippin' through the cracks of your cold embrace” once again pride but with “Could you find a way to let me down slowly? A little sympathy, I hope you can show me” I really hc that almost with all the boys but especially with Lucifer they just would not care about cheating after they maybe got a rush would leave you instantly once that “rush” is/was gone

Mammon

(I’m a sucker for him im sorry I put all the most emotional songs with him)

Reckless - Madison Beer

This was the song that inspired this whole post!! (Sadly, it made me feel things) But this song really could be used for Belphie and maybe a hint of Asmo but Mammon was the first person I thought about when listening to this song so it’s mammon. Mammon I just feel like behind all the tunsdere act he really promises us so much like obviously the protection but Reckless just show us within the lyrics “I still have the letter you wrote When you told me that I was the only girl You'd ever want in your life” and even this lyric with his whole first man thing and even him asking us to come to him for protection “You might love her now, but you loved me first Said you'd never hurt me, but here we are” it just is so good 😭

Love me or leave me - little mix

So if you even skim through these Mammon songs and know about my posts I love him so much so even though what I said in Lucifers part about them not caring about cheating and stuff I feel like Mammon might care just because of how much he promises things also I read a lot of fanfics with what I just said “And you're turning away like you hate me Do you hate me? Do you hate me? Oh” tbh because of this lyric I did think for a moment to use this song for Satan but Uhhh this is really emotional song and I love my bby “Do you remember when you loved me once What happened? What happened? And you'd hold me here just because” LOVE ME OR LEAVE ME HERE!!!

Be Alright - Dean Lewis

This song I feel like was a bit more for me sooo yeah also remember what I said about how I hc that almost with all the boys that they just would not care about cheating after they maybe got a rush with you they would leave you instantly once that “rush” is/was gone wel I sort of want to believe mammon wouldn’t and his greed gets in the way (who am I kidding I’m just making excuses for my baby) but I’m going to continue on what I just said because Umm well I can do uh “You start to tremble and your voice begins to break You say the cigarettes on the counter weren't your friend's They were my mate's”

(I couldn’t find anymore songs that I felt that would fit him 😭)

Asmo

Ex best friend - Machine gun Kelly

When I was writing this originally there was going to be like 4 parts of all the characters but then once I realized how many songs and I couldn’t think of any for others and how I wanted to add an explanation I gave up on that but originally it was going to also be cheating songs, fall outs, then just aftermaths of breakup songs which to be honest this song really could fit with the after math and cheating songs I feel like Asmo and his SO are more likely a not able to quit each other sort of thing “We're both drunk on the elevator When I kissed you for the first time in New York City, uh” and even near the end of the first season the only little part we sort of get from character development from Asmo when we was drunk explains what he was sort of saying “I swear to God, I never fall in love Then you showed up, and I can't get enough of it I swear to God, I never fall in love I never fall in love, but I can't get enough of it First off, I'm not sorry I won't apologize to nobody You play like I'm invisible Girl, don't act like you ain't saw me” personally I do think that inside Asmo might be insecure and a bit sensitive on the inside but I could be wrong

When the party’s over - Billie Eilish

Wow I have the lyrics up and I just realized this 3 minute song has barley lyrics but the song still fits Asmo so.

traitor - Olivia Rodrio

Even tho that all these songs were on cheating I tend to hc that Asmo isn’t a huge fan of solo partnership because of the title avatar of lust so I feel like in maybe the beginning of a relationship he would promise to you that he would be there for you but would maybe end up not staying true to his words I forgot who but someone else explained why they don’t believe that Asmo wouldn’t be able to go with out having a Polly relationship

——-

I’ve had this in my drafts for so long and wanted to post this but at this point I’ve just can’t add anymore so this is my lazy part

Boys like you - Anna Clendening

Satan

Again I’m lazy rn but I wanted Satans part to show just pure madness and anger but also as time progress just sadness for Satans pure side also anything that had to do with books or a story I added for u know Satan loving books

I’m not mad - Halsey

Moral of the story - Ashe

Blue - Madison Beer

[sunaswife]

A Suna Rintarou Series

Summary: Suna was the best boyfriend you could ask for, after fighting with your inner demons that screamed you were ugly, worthless, and annoying. You finally decided to go the next step with your boyfriend, only to find out it was all a game.

A/N: Part 7!! I just want to let y’all know that everytime I update I post two small chapters in one. Usually one being Y/N’s side and the other being Suna’s side. Sometimes I’ll add atsumu like my last update but idk. Just be sure to read every chapter because they may seem small but they’re lowkey kind of important as I don’t want you missing out. One post has like 76 likes and the one after it has 150 so I just wanna make sure that you know I post twice in one day! I don’t do this to get noticed or because I want more likes but I want you to read all of my shitty work rather than some of it ya know...? Anyways! On to the story!

Warnings: underaged drinking, smut, guys talking badly about women, heartbreak, messed up shit that you shouldn’t do and a bit of fluff if you squint

Disc four-slide one: Kageyama Y/N🤍

“My my, do my eyes deceive me? The volleyball club finally has a manager~”

This girl out of nowhere stood in front of you, you both were around the same height. She was wearing an Inarizaki cheerleader uniform and she was too close to comfort. You took a step back confused as to why she was inspecting you like a detective at a crime scene.

“Can I help you...?” You asked and fixed the strap of the first aid kit over your shoulder. “I heard Inarizaki’s number ten finally has a girfriend and I thought it was too good to be true. He told me he wasn’t interested in being in a relationship so i thought he was gay at first until he showed me just how straight he was at a party a few months back.” She said with a menacing chuckle.

Show how straight he is..?

Oh

You knew exactly what she was trying to do and for some reason that sweet and humble persona you usually had completely shattered when you opened your mouth. “I’m pretty shocked he even asked me out on a date. I wasn’t expecting him to go out of his way to make my favorite food and have a picnic in the woods.” You replied with a shrug. Her eye twitched and you knew you struck a nerve.

“If only you knew—“

“Look I don’t want animosity alright? Whatever you and Suna had is in the past. You can try to piss me off and make me jealous all you want but at the end of the day he comes back to me.” You said simply and shrugged, you didn’t want to hear whatever else she was going to say. For your sanity and for her fake eyelashes to stay glued on her face.

“Why you little—“ “Y/N-Chan! Jamie!” Atsumu saw you both from down the hall. “How are my two lovely ladies.” He jogged over and smiled. You and Jamie glared at eachother and you both turned and walked away leaving the blonde twin standing there confused.

After joining the rest of the team you sighed and rubbed the back of your neck. Even though this Jamie chick was uttering stupid shit it still struck a nerve. What kind of relationship did she and Suna have before you came in the picture? Obviously it was sexual...but did he smile and keep her warm like how he does for you.

Did he text her at 3 am because he was bored and wanted someone to play Minecraft with him? Did he cuddle with her and take naps under the baby blue sky and laugh at the funny shaped clouds?

“Princess...is something wrong..?” Suna asked and all of a sudden appeared in front of you. You fiddled with the zipper of your volleyball track jacket and didn’t look up. “Babe, what’s wrong? Look at me.” He said and you saw his hand near you. He lifted your chin to face him and you almost melted when you finally made eye contact. His grayish-yellow fox like eyes put you in a trance and you couldn’t look away.

“Is something the matter?” He asked and tilted his head. You sighed and your cheeks puffed, he could help but mentally gush at how cute you looked when frustrated. But it seemed like you weren’t frustrated with anyone but yourself.

“So I met, Jamie.” You started and his eyes widened.

Bingo

Something did happened between them...

You hugged yourself and looked away, this was a habit when you were nervous or self conscious. “She’s really pretty....and skinny and her makeup is flawless and—“

“She told you we had sex right?” He said straight up and your eyes widened at his vulgar way of saying it.

You nodded and said “I know it’s in the past but she shouldn’t have rubbed it in or whatever. And I don’t know....it just bothers me a bit. I don’t know how to react...this is my first relationship after all.” You rubbed your arms. He put his hands on your shoulders to make sure you were focusing on him, even though you refused to look back at him.

“I’ll be honest with you, nothing special was or is going on between us. I just made a stupid decision of sleeping with her once and she never lets it go. I don’t see her that way and eventually she’ll move on because she does that with every athlete that catches her eye.” He assured but you were still pretty bothered. She just gives you bad vibes. “I’m just insecure I guess.” You admitted sadly.

Jamie is gorgeous, she’s the definition of a goddess, at least appearance wise. Her beautiful olive skin and blue eyes, her bleached blonde hair suits her well and her makeup looks better than James Charles. When does she find the time to do it? “You shouldn’t feel insecure. she’s alright I guess, but you’re beautiful. You’re you, and that’s what I like about you.” He said softly.

You looked back up and into his eyes to see if he was lying but his breath hitched when he saw your eyes get watery. “All I ask is for you to not break my heart. Can you do that?” Your voice cracked slightly and he nodded.

“I promise.”

Previously

Up next

Series masterlist

A/N: Hey hey hey! IM BACK! Sorry it took me awhile! I needed to relax and take a breather 🥺

🏷: @therealwalmartjesus @differentballooncollection @aaesuki @atsunflower @dope-squish @prettysetterboiss @june-phantom @tomo-uwu @austriasmariazelle @xrnia @katsulia @aprettyfruit @shut-your-eyes-kiss-me-goodbye @tvbiio @sun-daddy-yoriichi @kamenoyaki @ppangiiroo @loeyprivvv @kmskj92 @lovinnoya @sarahvvictoria @tris-does-stuff @mokkeguts @sunaluvr6969 @bara-rose-would @sempiternal-amour @volleybloop @leykyuu @bokutoichigo

[piershoesz]

The Right Reaction | Bede X Champion!Reader

Request: ❝ Finally some goof, active, swsh/aloha posts lol I CANT FIND ANYONE WHO HASN’T POSTED IN OCTOBER LAST ONE WAS IN MARCh ;-; a-anyway can we got Bede X reader when she/her (not good at grammar) who just became champion? like his reaction, what he said to her Etc? sorry if my grammar was bad, im learning too much french i kinda forgot English ;-; a n y w a y TYSVM ❞ 

A/N: Hello anon! Yes, it is true... I do try my best to actively write for Alola as well as galar! Also, no worries about grammar! Again, whether or not it should be hcs or a drabble wasn’t specified, so I hope you don’t mind I did a drabble!

“Y/N! Y/N! Y/N!”

Your name echoed through the entire stadium, hands clapping together and happy screams and cheers erupted from the crowd. 

Bede watched in awe as the dust began to settle by your feet. Your eyes were wide in shock, but you were smiling. 

You happily ran to your partner Pokemon, embracing them with such excitement. 

Leon smiled sadly, knowing that his reign was over now. He quickly brought Charizard back into his Pokeball, then walked over to you and shook your hand.

The crowd had gone silent now, everyone on the edge of their seats as they waited for what Leon would say.

“I introduce you to... Galar’s new champion!”

He announced, and again, they burst into sound. Bede would’ve covered his ears, but somehow, he couldn’t.

He was focused on you, and only you.

...

“Y/N! A couple questions please?”

“No, I’m sorry!”

“Any reason you’re in such a rush?”

You stopped, turning your head back to face the sea of faces following you. Reporters with their mics pointed out, and camera lights so bright they could blind you.

You smiled.

“I’m supposed to be meeting with someone.”

You simply offered, whirling around and walking away, only leaving the reporters confused with even more questions spinning in their heads.

...

“Bede!”

You smiled, you stood at the top of the stairs, slowly walking down to approach him. 

“Ah, Y/N!”

The boy turned. Then, he grinned back, his smile was smaller than yours, but you still took it with glee. 

Ever since he had been training under Opal, you saw him smile a lot more than he usually did.

And it only made your heart swell.

As you reached him at the bottom where he stood, your arms wound their way around his waist.

He tucked his chin into your shoulder without hesitation, and a faint blush dusted his cheeks. 

“Congratulations.”

He whispered into the fabric of your shoulder, but even through the muffle, they were clear to you.

And they meant so much.

“Thank you.”

Was all you said in reply. But without a second though, you pulled away, and pressed a kiss to his lips.

[rosequartzwriting]

Pumpkin Spice and Everything Nice

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X Fem!Reader

Description: You offer Bucky coffee, with an accidental espresso shot, and the caffeine gets to him. Fall themed!

Warnings: Non

Word Count: 2.0k

A/N: Originally posted on Quotev on Jan 21, 2019 /  Sorry if Bucky feels out of character, I blame the caffeine I gave him / Written for Alex 

Masterlist | Fic Reading Recs | Ao3 | Quotev | Coffee

“Where is he?”

Steve looked up from his breakfast and pointed to the open door of the fridge. Tony was rummaging through it while mumbling to himself, but perking up at the sound of your voice. He had a strawberry in his mouth, there he goes snacking again. Food never seems to last in the tower.

You held up the tray and Tony's face lit up. He wanted you to do his morning Starbucks run. Even if the tower had plenty of coffee and tea options, he needed his pumpkin spice latte and he wanted it done right. You never thought Tony would be that type of person, to like sugary and basic white bitch drinks, but he is apparently.

“I’m not Pepper.” You said blankly, eyeing the man as he approached to claim his drink. “Why did I have to go and get your coffee?”

“Because you’re the one who messed up on the last mission, (Y/N).” Tony answered with an fake innocent smile.

“I tripped!” You gasped in defense, really you tripped. It was an accident but it made a domino effect and you almost costed everyone the mission. The guys in the tower were not going to let you forget anytime soon, it was too embarrassing. And you were thankful Sam didn't have a camera because that would be the worst.

“You just need to have your pumpkin spice latte.” Steve laughed, shaking his head.

“Get in the fall spirit, Rogers.” Tony said, taking one of the cups from the tray greedily.

“I can only imagine what he’ll do on Halloween…” You mumbled under your breath. The over the top decorations and his making everyone play along with his enthusiasm...Oh no what about Christmas...you didn’t even want to think about Christmas.

Before you knew it Tony left with his coffee, not even thanking you for going out in the cold to get it. Something wanted you to go follow him and shove the other three steaming hot cups down the front of his shirt, but you refrained since you wanted one of them for yourself.

Instead you bottled up your frustrations and you took one for yourself and gave one to Steve. Tony paid for it so it doesn't matter, free coffee for you then!

While taking a sip of your own delicious latte, you heard heavy footsteps enter the room. Soon Bucky groaned and dragged himself into the kitchen.

“Morning Bucky.” You said, taken aback by his sudden appearance. He simply nodded in response, he was not a morning person. It seemed that your heart jumped to your throat every time he acknowledged your existence, and you’ll take a simple nod as one.

“Come on Buck, wake up. We got training to do.” Steve announced, cleaning up his dishes.

“Yeah yeah I know. God, you’re so loud.” Bucky looked like he could use a few more hours of sleep, or a few gallons of coffee. He slowly made his way to the pantry and stumbled dug for the breakfast bars, a quick breakfast before training.

"Hey Bucky, you want one?" You offered him one of the coffee cups, knowing it was a dangerous game you were playing by speaking to him this early in the morning. But thankfully he didn't chop your head off, he merely turned around to see what you had offered.

"What is it?" He asked, staring at the cup with a blank face.

"Pumpkin spice latte."

Bucky looked skeptical, but took it and raised it to his lips to take a sip. The sugar hit him before the caffeine.

"It's sweet."

"See its not that bad." Steve chimed in, drinking his own latte.

"The future is weird..." He mumbled, sending a slightly amused-looking smile in your direction. You didn't know if you wanted to scream or run to your room and hide.

"Technically its the present." Steve tried to be smart.

"Shut up." Bucky started to walk out of the room, still slightly groggy (the caffeine would kick in soon though) but he looked back. “That scarf looks good on you.”

You glanced down at it, fleece and yellow plaid. You grew shy and scratched the back of your head. “Thanks.” You realized it came out as a mere squeak.

He smiled and left after muttering "Thank you, (Y/N)", probably to get ready for training. Deep down you didn't want to see him go, and you heart pounded when he said your name.

"Weird."

"Hm?" You turned to Steve.

"He usually hates mornings, he looked happy."

It just dawned on you. Everyone feared bothering Bucky when it was too early, and on a normal day he would go into full Winter Soldier mode when anyone dared to step across the line of 'I'm too tired to be alive right now and I'll murder you and burn your body if you get in my face'. Maybe it was the latte you gave him, to your knowledge Bucky didn't drink coffee much.

Then you realized something...

Oh Shit.

"Oh no," You knew Steve would scold you, so you changed your wording in your head before it came out of your mouth.

"What?"

"I gave Bucky the one with the espresso shot..."

The Captain chuckled and patted your shoulder, "Its fine, he needs it."

You slightly laughed, if it made him a little less of a morning grump then why not.

"Don't worry, it probably will not turn out as bad as that one time when Pietro had just regular coffee." Steve remembered.

So many things in the Tower were broken that day, Tony was furious. There was plenty of yelling, and the speedster almost passed out from the overdrive. From that day forwards, Pietro was never allowed to have coffee ever again.

"But I kinda needed that espresso shot..." You groaned.

"Calm down, you'll live." He said it so simply you almost wanted to knock him upside the head. Then he mumbled something; "Also I don't think the coffee was the reason he was happy-"

"What?"

He ignored you.

"Well I'm gonna head to the training room, see ya kid." Cap left the kitchen, leaving you with your latte (that sadly wasn't strong enough to kill your exhaustion) and you finally could have your breakfast. Because someone didn't let you do anything until you fetched their morning coffee (Tony "Im Iron Man and Im Superior To You" Stark).

~~~

"Who gave Bucky caffeine?" Sam announced to everyone in the training room while eyeing the man, who was now finishing his latte.

"You're just a sore loser." Bucky placed the empty cup back on the table and was ready to spar with his friendly rival again. Bugging Sam was his favorite past time.

"No really, who thought that would be a good idea?" Sam didn't drop it.

The glass doors to the training room opened and you walked in, holding your tablet and flipping through the new file you just received from SHEILD headquarters. Before you could open your mouth to say anything, you were abruptly interrupted.

"It was her." Cap threw you under the bus.

"What did I do?" You whined.

And the next few seconds was a quick-fire dispute, remarks shot through the air like bullets.

"You gave Bucky coffee." Sam pointed at you.

"So?" You asked.

"That's a bad idea." Sam snapped.

"Sore loser~" Bucky sang.

"Shut up." Sam shot.

"You are a sore loser Sam" You mocked.

"Shut it!" Sam warned.

"Sooorrrreee loooser!" Bucky stretched out.

"QUIET!" Sam barked.

"I need another." Bucky sighed.

"You are not having another." Sam snapped.

"(Y/N), can I have another?"

"Bad idea" You admitted.

"Enough!" Natasha raised her voice and the arguing stopped suddenly. "God, you three are like nagging seagulls. You don't shut up."

"Sam's the seagull." Bucky made one last snarky remark, making you snort while you tried to hold in your laughter.

Before Sam could attack again, you finally spoke up. "Just got a new mission file from Fury. He says it's urgent."

Steve, Bucky, Sam, Nat, and Clint (who had been enjoying the argument quietly) all gathered around you. You projected the file into a hologram and blew it up so everyone could see.

"Security breach at a lab in France." Nat read the notes.

"So? Just a lab," Bucky shrugged, then thought about it, "right?"

You zoomed into the picture on the file, the logo looked strikingly familiar.

"Haven't we been keeping tabs on them?" Clint asked.

"We have." You worked quickly and pulled up a case file SHIELD had been watching carefully. They matched, the lab's company specialized in fusing technology into human anatomy, in the most illegal ways, sketchy black market stuff.

With a few more buttons pressed, you pulled up the live security cameras of the laboratory. There was a black van parked outside. It hit everyone.

"HYDRA." Steve breathed, and everyone knew it was important to leave to France as soon as possible.

"So who's going, Cap?" You asked, and soon everyone was looking at him with anticipation.

He didn't even need to think, he knew who he wanted. "Nat, Clint, Sam, you're with me on this one."

Those selected celebrated, there hadn't been a decent mission in a while. While those who weren't going, meaning you and Bucky, pouted.

"HA!" Sam jabbed a finger in Bucky's face. "You're not going!"

"Don't care!" Bucky shot back, pretending like it was true. It was a lie.

~~~

With some of the Avengers gone on a mission the tower was a little more quiet, probably because it was still early or because Sam and Bucky were separated. Both were very likely. With everyone else asleep, you and Bucky were the only ones up. After the others went on the mission, you decided to look through some more case files to see if you could find anything that could help down the road.

While sitting in the lounge and listening to some music, you tried to stay focused. You tried to stay awake while simultaneously trying to stay warm from the cold weather outside. It was beautiful and sunny, but it was freezing non the less. Snuggling under a blanket had proven to be a solution to only one of your problems,  you were growing drowsy again. If only you had got that extra espresso shot.

Speaking of that espresso shot...

"Hey (Y/N)!"

Jumping from the sudden voice, you looked over and saw Bucky enter the lounge. The couch dipped down as he sat beside you, and he seemed to be full of energy.

"Whatcha working on?"

"Someone's cheerful this morning." You sat up and tilted your head as you spoke.

"I think it was the coffee you gave me." He chuckled.

"Yeah about that..." You started shyly, "I accidentally gave you the one with the extra espresso shot..."

It clicked in his head, "Well that explains it, I guess I couldn't taste it from how sweet it was-" He caught himself, "not that it wasn't good. I liked it. I appreciated it, thanks (Y/N)."

Regardless of his growing awkwardness, which you wanted to explode from because he was too cute, he was speaking a mile a minute.

"You alright, Buck?" You asked, "A little hyper."

"Maybe Sam was right...no more coffee for me." He admitted to himself, looking a bit sad. He must have liked the pumpkin spice latte while it lasted.

”Maybe you need to burn it off.” You suggested.

”Tried to during training, not working, still buzzed.”

“Maybe try going outside, go for a run maybe.”

He gave it a thought, then turned to you with something in his eyes. "What do you say we go for a walk? It's pretty nice outside." Bucky smiled at you.

Forget how cold it was today, going outside to hang out with Bucky was worth it.

"Sure!" You said, maybe sounding a little to enthusiastic.

”Alright, can we go now? If that’s alright?” He said shyly, practically bouncing in his seat.

”Yeah sure, no problem.” You both got up off the couch.

”Okay dress warm, meet you back here.” Bucky dashed off to get his coat. You laughed at how energized he was, and assumed this would be like taking a dog on a walk (or more like a dog taking you on a walk).

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

yeah same, i follow some fic accs that occaisionally post smut and its like mmmmm is the fluff writing enough to balance the posts that gives me finger burn trying to scroll past it? but yeah thats probably the way to go

ah i wasnt there for the teaser but i can imagine that was tantalising. lmaoo yes but to be fair i do have a writing acc called channiesbigheart so... balancing it out? but i absolutely am whipped beyond belief. it was a TRAVESTY how COULD they have. yeah the b sides gave him more lines but they werent the ones that were performed over and over at stages. yessss the line distribution in this album is impeccable, im pretty sure the thunderous stuff was some of their best distribution

hehe i can understand that, sometimes putting someone in a situation so horrible it would be considered a violation of human rights is theraputic, ya know? mmmm the differences are a bit nuts, it was 14 degrees today and in less than a week its going to be 32 or smth. BROOO that would be legendary, i bet theyd treat their artists rlly well and have great music as well ahhh but its a lot of work adn commitment. yES that is a mood if ever i heard one.

its the same in australia as well, sadly, you have people who hold up harry styles and lil nas x for breaking gender roles and wearing make up adn steryotypical womens clothing (and keep in mind i have infinite respect for both of them theyre honestly doing so much for the de-dehumanising of gay people and those who wear whatever they want), and calling the kpop boys gay and other things for doing the same thing, when theyve been doing it for years and gotten no recognition smh its so tragic. yes, anyway YES ONLY 6 MONTHS I AM FOR ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES A BBY STAN altho i considered myself a fully fledged stay like 2 days after i got into them cos i just spent all day researching and fixating. YES someone said it. it feels like theyre losing a huge chunk of why a lot of people liked their music in teh first place, which was that whole dna, dope, fire mood. and even doing bright songs is fine, liek they should do what they want but i feel liek the western music industry is so fucking toxic that they feel pressured into making these decisions. dont get me wrong, theyre good decisions from a business perspective, theyre getting record breaking sales but still. mmm yeah honestly yg just needs to get its shit together or get out

oooh! not into nct but i see a lot of him, he seems rlly talented. ahh yes another channie ult lmaoo i feel that, my list is growing in leaps and bounds as well. mmm yeah i think i will, im just going to try to save enough money :) mingi appealed to me mostly for the voice (like felix smh what is it with me and deep voiced bois) but also his soft visuals and the whole cutesy thing he has going on i rlly liked. yes i did get into them while he was on hiatus, but im still mostly a casual stan, ill listen to the album when it comes out but i dont think ill obsessively look over everything to do with it, like skz. HAH WE'RE MORE SIMILAR THAN I THOUGHT. lmaooo the thot line describes them perfectly, why are they all so damn attractive. especially seonghwa, like that man looks like a character from a book, cardan greenbriar vibes anyone? mmhmm! his vocals are absolutely insane. ty! yeah im excited altho idk how theyre every going to beat border:carnival, that shit was impeccable. ahh no stress, enjoy teh groups you stan atm!

ahh thank you so much, ill keep that in mind. hehe thats good! hopefully its soon :( ah ty, it means a lot. ill think abt that and hopefully talk abt it a little more :)

ah, no it was inside our gymnasium but to get to the other side of the stage you had to exit the building, go around the back and then enter through the other stage door. ah tysm! im glad too. mmm same, they baffle me. ;n; noo so sad :( ahh, thats um not smth i put on here, but im in high school so make of that what you will :)

thank you! ive done a majority of them, i just have maths, an english presentation and an economic assignment due now so im pretty much home free. yeah i feel like hes the epitome of here for you while being inescapably far away. haha she sounds like one of my friends. lmaooo why is that me. hmmm i feel like youve answered a lot of them in that answer so maybe just ateez, enha, txt and bp? if you stan them? :)

ahhh no problem at all, proud of you for managing to overcome the procrastination! progress! mmm thats good! ahh pls do let me know if you ever decide that, i cant promise i wont cry but do what you gotta do :)

<3 w.a. 🐺

hi! sorry for the late reply, i didn't know how to construct sentences yesterday e.e

yeah sometimes it's the perfect balance! i personally don't like fics that focus mainly on the filth? the plot has to carry the whole fic somehow and the smut is just something to add to the mix. also, i'll follow you on your writing blog! i keep forgetting to do so, damn it.

"sometimes putting someone in a situation so horrible it would be considered a violation of human rights is theraputic, ya know?" putting it this way just silenced me but yes. angst just feels more realistic. it isn't always happy endings irl so i tend to do it a lot.

falling into skz is so easy! it felt like that for me too. stanning them felt like getting sucked into a blackhole. also yes i agree. kpop is nothing but an industry after all and it runs on money so i get why they do what they do as well.

i suggest we not talk about haechan because i will literally not shut up but yes my boy is an ace :( chan is also sooooo easy to love. and the chan's rooms just solidified his place as ult. having something to look forward to every week at a time when my mental health was just plummeting into the depths of tartarus just helped me be stable. oh yeah, mingi's deep voice is indeed sexc. and he has some wack ass duality as well! and i think seonghwa was one of the people i nearly considered as bias just because of his visuals because wow that's one beautiful face. and true, idk how enha's going to beat border:carnival. i don't like all the tracks simply bc of taste preferenceds but i like more than one so i consider that a lot already.

bro that gym should've had some sort of a covered walk :// also i miss being in high school sO DAMN MUCH. but i still feel like i am because time stopped when quarantine started and i was still in senior year at the time.

my ateez bias is wooyoung! it wasn't that much of a shocker to my kpop stan irls because i was a jimin stan for the longest time. enhypen is jake and they kept pointing out that he looked like seungmin sometimes so it's like chan's aussie-ness with a tinge of seungmin (the other guy in my skz bias line, in case i haven't mentioned it). txt is huening kai! i find it hard to believe that he's my age because he looks a lot younger? o.O and he always looks good damn :(( sigh for blackpink it's lisa! i tend to bias the maknaes of yg groups, it's a pattern i've noticed but don't intentionally do!

DON'T WASTE YOUR TEARS OMFG. you can always reach me elsewhere if i like disappear off this blog.

[anyu-blue]

~

I know a big part of it is the sleep deprivation.. again.. but I'm hella depressed.

Like overall I'm.. content? I guess? I have job. = Good. I have place to live. = Good. I have my game(s) I can play anytime I have time/want. = Good. I have appointments to try and get feeling better and keep trying and keep trying when I don't. = Good. I have Kizzy and will probably have him for at least 3 more years, if not longer. = Good. I have contingency plans in place for paying for my surgeries. = Good.

I've got a lot of good right now. And it's not that I'm ungrateful. I am EXTREMELY grateful. Considering my issues I've done extremely well. Even if some of it was on accident.

It's just.. well.. I'm tired, of course. Not sleeping well or much for days on end sucks. Especially because I could have, but people are going to keep living their lives and accidentally waking/keeping me up because they just don't think about my situation 24/7. Or even know it. Or consider it. Because life's too short for that according to, like everyone but me.

I'm sick of course. I've definitely tried the 'I'm doing great/not sick!!' mindset.. and it doesn't work.. cuz stuff HURTS. I don't have the energy to keep pretending either... And I don't think there was really a time I wasn't sick. Not in my whole life.. and It feels impossible to have any hope I'll ever not be physically sick... No matter what or how hard I try. Especially because I'm aging as all people do. Especially being forced to constantly check what I eat because if I don't I can hurt myself/make myself even more sick. Or starve, which hurts me too but is better than the alternatives. Especially being I have to rely on a healthcare system that looks down on what I can afford. Especially because what I can afford is so little. Especially because of our healthcare system being so politically charged people like me with the needs I have (even just replacing bones!!! Hello?! Our STUPID society forgets teeth are BONES and NECESSARY ones at that- but the instant you say teeth people literally don't give two shits, think you're just vain, and 100% brush you off. Even doctors.. and I have cried so hard over this stupid stuff and tried to rally and I'm STILL trying to save my own god damn life. I hate saying that's what I'm doing because I have some of that stupidity in me of thinking vanity... But I'm literally trying to save my forsaken life and be a LOT less miserable, and I feel so hopeless because only the little people who get it actually seem to want to help/be able to push aside that vanity thought and it hurts so badly to ask them to squeeze for me-- thank you if you're reading this and you've reblogged/shared my post. And I cannot thank you enough, and feel I owe you so much if you've donated... Every tiny bit helps. You and I are little people in the sense we don't exactly have $10,000+ to just throw around an have no worries about lol)

I'm.. also lonely? I guess? .. it's probably the best way to describe it. I don't like people all over me. Or really messaging constantly because moods change and People have lives.. but I miss... I want... Stress free interactions. Getting to spend time and go and do things. Not being alone all the time or missing out on everything. Time is meaningless pretty much right now in the sense I've missed all the holidays. 100%. No time spent celebrating or using the time or even seeing people. Im so much a damn adult and yet I still feel like crying whenever my siblings/cousins talk about last halloween because they had so much fun... They spent the day together in matching costumes by themselves at a park. And that's it... I was delirious from sleep deprivation when I saw them for the 5 minutes I did.. and stress because of my ex being the bastard he is to me. And work. So I couldn't join them. And it doesn't bother them in the least. It's such a happy memory for them and I am struggling to let go of the envy. They have so many days they spend together too.. remotely mostly, but they have so much fun. They wake me up alot with their calls.. and get pissed when I'm like hey guys I'm sorry but could you tone it down? I honestly stopped asking lately because they get so pissed and have even been like 'It wasn't me at all!!' even when I can quote what they said back to them and try to find anything and anyone else to blame... My little sister especially is CONSISTENTLY Telling me she has no idea what she even just said so I know it's bullshit it's not her.... And it just hurts. I try so hard. I drug myself to fall asleep almost every single workday now and I hate it. It's not good for you I feel. Says non habit forming but I just. Uck. And I have familiar, soft sound on. And I've shut my cat out. And I've consistently changed my bedding and cleaned and worn masks/covered my eyes, and done everything I can think of to try and make sure I'm going to sleep as long as possible. I don't go to bed and wake up early in the evenings to cook or spend time with them anymore because I'm trying to give myself more sleep. I don't stay up to see my sisters during the day anymore. Because I'm trying to give myself more sleep. I turn everything off (besides what I hope will help with the noise) at noon and try to lay down as soon after noon as I can every day. Anything blue gets covered or turned off. Everything has red light filters too to get rid of the blue.. but I can't seem to get more than a few jagged hours any given day unless it happens to be their early days where they take naps or I end up so exhausted I'm passed out at night when I should be awake so my shifts aren't so hard... So all that adds up to my being alone and lonely as my own damn fault. Because obviously I stopped making the efforts... The thing that hurts most about that is I was the only one making ANY effort at all to include myself in people's lives (still rings true for everyone in my own city at least- family, friends, the works).. and when I HAD to stop and told them why and asked if they'd be willing to meet me sometimes when it was hard for them (even like once a month fully planned out if need be, or spontaneous because I'm NOT picky)... I got yesses. I did. But. Do you think it ever once happened besides the very day we talked about it?

No.

I can and have gone through every single message and note I have (my memory isn't what it was after I got as sick as I did last fall so I try to keep track of everything instead of relying on my memory anymore)... The only person who even slightly tried was only doing so because he wanted every gd opportunity to beg me to sleep with him (pretty much- he wasn't subtle).. and I had to cut him out because he's not a good person in his own right, sadly. Which left me entirely alone in many ways. Which leaves me entirely alone unless I reach out first and sacrifice sleep.

The continuance of this unfortunately has contributed to my depression.. and the fact no one wants to be around cuz I'm a bummer. And the sleep issues have caused irritability I try so hard to control, but at certain stages I just lose my filters and don't want to say stuff or ramble but I also don't want to miss the opportunity with the person (usually one of my sisters) so stuff gets awkward and they don't like being around THAT. And I don't blame them. But I'd do?

Ugh... I know night shift is my fault... And is a major part of the problem... But I work it to avoid People who don't care about me and mine. To keep myself safe. To keep myself from having panic attacks. I'm doing a lot better with them... But I was breaking down so often at or about work it was getting out of hand... With night shift I'm not overwhelmed like that and I don't have to worry do much about my poor mind losing its sharpness as much. I can take my time more or less. And I get paid enough to survive. ....

I'm just depressed and I know it's on me but I wish I had more help than I do..

Wishing is also the problem. Instead of being happy with what I have.

Blargh...

[yhwonjun]

hi hello, super siked to be here! you can call me ej, and i come to you with my sad boi(?), bad(?) boy, dresses like an eboy(???), but definitely hip-hoppin’ boy chae wonjun (chae2; middle child + outcast). we’re here for a good time and a long time 😎 so come get to know us! gonna try and keep this short & sweet b/c i know i’ll ramble if left unchecked so -- linked here are his profile, bio, and some desired plots (as a rule of thumb, all these were drawn up as starting points so i’m totally open to tailoring to unique needs). please do let me know if anything there resonates with you. you can reach me on tumblr im’s or discord (cozyboy#6004) - or simply hit this post with a like and i’ll get around to you too. finally, i’ll leave you with a not so quick summary on wonjun under the cut. catch u on the dash!

once upon a time, wonjun was a very driven, justice-minded boy who just wanted to do some good in the world. lawyers do that, right? his family is jammed full of them. charming, personable, and easygoing, he is generally well-liked wherever he went

but my gosh, he realizes this lawyer thing is not for him. justice, morality, righteousness - what a load of bs. he cannot stand it! ofc other more substantial shit also goes down, but his parents made their own son sign an nda, and he’d like to stay out of jail tyvm. sorry not sorry, mom and dad! i mean, they still have his siblings to hold down the fort, right? they’ve always been much better than him anyway...

so law is a no-go. but you know what is? music. and no, it’s not just a phase or a casual side hobby. he finds his groove producing hip-hop and really hones his skillz and gains momentum over the years. when he graduates from college (still with a pre-law degree sigh), he turns to it full-time and is deadset on making some waves

but if you thought his uptight parents would let him off easy, you are sadly and grossly mistaken. fortunately(?) he’s just as passionately stubborn about his off-route path and ambitions. unfortunately, he’s effectively estranged himself from his family

speaking of rejecting family traditions, he’s also been awakened to his ‘true’ persona. screw logic and reason, that shit can stay in the courtroom. his new life philosophy is all about feeling, impulse, and romance. live fast and live large, my friend

he’s always had a really big heart though, and he lives life with a lot of it. problem is, he’s taking it to an extreme and living with almost exclusively heart and no head. which means he’s letting his emotions drag him all over the place, up and down every mountain and through the eye of every storm. geez where are all these ~feels~ coming from? are all of them really real, or is he artificially amplifying them?

anyways how’s this going for him, you might ask. well, objectively speaking it’s unhealthy and destructive - though he’d argue he’s not doing anyone else any harm, so what’s all the fuss about? musically speaking, it’s supposedly doing wonders b/c he’s lined up to be k-hiphop’s next shiny thing, with the hottest artists on speed dial and the biggest labels lined up for his signature

that being said, his physically and emotionally reckless ways cannot be sustainable. it doesn’t matter how much heart he has or how stubbornly he insists, it just isn’t. he really ought to hit pause and maybe rewind, but frankly he’s terrified of doing that, just in case he ends up regretting things. it’s too late for that... right?

so yeah, wonjun has a lot of feelings, makes a lot of bad decisions, but puts out some fire beats 🔥 he’s definitely a big, volatile mess, but i promise he’s well-intentioned at the end of day. hopefully that’s good enough for him and for you! lmao

[xsecretblastsx]

2x01 Summer Kind of Wonderful

SEASON TWO HERE WE GO.

I was dying to get here, this is one of my favorite episodes in the whole show. It’s also the episode were I really turned into a Chair shipper, so there’s that too, also The Hamptons!! Honestly was not to love about this episode.

I think this is the longest recap I’ve done in a while. As usaul recap under the cut.

Thoughts I had while watching:

I’ve watched this before and yet I’m still surprised our first taste of S2 is Nate going at it

After the super promising tease on Nate and Serena on the S1 turns out... she’s covering for him while he sleeps around... 😒

Chuck being Chuck, still a womanizer, still obsessed with Blair and as always ignoring Serena’s disgusted face. Also hilarious his enormous basket with cuttlery and such.

Look Joe Goldberg!!! Or is it Dan Humphrey? This bookstore setting is making it even more confusing.

Hi Jenny! And her never ending disatisfaction with her place at whatever she’s trying.

This scene between Chuck and Serena is so underrated. Her mocking face is hilarious. Pimp all you want Chuck it’s useless. Good luck in your suicide mission indeed.

What’s a Jitney? 😆How about where Blair returns to the Hamptons with a new beau. On your face Chuck Bass! On the words of GG: ain’t karma a bitch? We know Blair Waldorf is.

“A hot lifeguard is like Kleenex: use once and then throw away, you couldn’t ask for a better rebound” so says Blair 🤔

“The only thing lamer than dating Dan Humphrey is mourning Dan Humphrey” speaking words of wisdom Blair Waldorf

Of course all the wisdom goes out the window when Chuck appears. With the most extra polo ever and the shortest shorts in the history of menswear

Not that Blair wasn’t transparent with all her talk about James but oh my god Serena’s is so bad a going along with it.

“You’re lying. Your eyes are doing that thing were they don’t match your mouth” Chuck Bass: a walking manual on Blairisms

“I bet you’ll like him as much as I do” “If by that you mean I won’t like him at all then you’re right” meanwhile Serena is trying to pretend she’s anywhere else and not there silent witness to that verball pin pong

I always wonder how Jenny and Dan end up being like that with a Dad like Rufus

So this is “Jenny admitting she was a bitch and that Eric didn’t deserve it” first season.

“A honk instead of a knock? Did someone order a townie?" Blair’sn lines this episode are hilarious

I feel bad thinking that Nate’s main contribution so far is looking really good without a shirt.

Chuck Bass: a walking encyclopedia on everything Blair Waldorf.

If only the show had given us more Chuck and Cece interactions.

I feel I should have kept a score for all the Chuck and Blair jibes to each. That pin play on Blair’s part was check mate though. Auch. I almost feel bad for Chuck. Almost

In terms of cinematography that scene were they talk about the pin is gorgeous probably my fave in the show only behind that scene in Paris in S4. The matching outfits, the colors and the scenery are sooo good. Also the acting.

Knowing her like he does it’s interesting Chuck doesn’t realize Blair only gave that pin to James to hurt him. But the fact that it works is very telling on Chuck’s insecurities and feelings.

Nate being kicked out so the husband won’t catch him wouldn’t be half as hilarious if it wasn’t for Serena’s “no effing way face”

“Damn that Motherchucker” a novel by Blair Waldorf

I love Blair’s summer dress by the way

“All I could see was that Chuck Basstard” the sequel novel, also by Blair Waldorf

What a difference a summer makes: Nate and Chuck talking about Blair. I do feel Nate’s like “thank god it ain’t me anymore”

“And unlike you I don’t lose something if I let it out of my sight” Blair strikes again, this girl is on fire.

This episode is kind of proving that I barely care for any other storyline that doesn’t have the original four. After those two side by side arguments, getting back to Dan is really annoying

I kind of love it when Rufus points out to Dan how he never stops talking and doesn’t let anyone else said anything. Is kind of boring already how he only seems to write about Serena and the UES.

Chuck’s cricket outfit reminds me of how I should enjoy the crazy outfits while they last.

Ofc Chuck’s has a PI on speed dial Eric, duh. Gotta love him though: “i know that face, that face is not your friend” sorry Nate

I’m still trying to come up with the reason why the show let the fake dating storyline between Nate and Serena be such a waste. Whyyyy????

Just in case I forget: this white party was sponsored by Vitamin Water. For real there’s product placement and then there’s this.

The constrast between Serena looking like a greek goddess next to Nate’s I didn’t bother of an outfit is making me dizzy.

Chuck’s outfit for the white party kind of deserves a post of his own. Then again is probably my fave outfit of his on the whole show.

James calling out Blair for using him, while mentioning charade feels kind of overplayed now. Anyway he’s already pointing out how Blair and Chuck are the same and that’s why they deserve each other.

“Don’t you see? We’re the same? Stop trying to fight it” “I will fight it to my last dying breath because any resemblance to you is something I would hate about myself” this whole dialogue feels like a premonition.

Serena and Nate kissing and being totally into it while paparazzi plays is the background is just one of those moments. This is the kind of content I’m here for. Only to be ruined by Dan Humphrey.

And here we are again Dan getting mad when he doesn’t have a right to, thankfully karma is a thing in the form of drinks poured all over him

And somehow is Serena the one busy cleaning that suit, useless Dan is useless

Chuck’s “I’m so screwed” face when his PI tells him Blair’s guy is actually a british Lord is priceless.

THREE WORDS EIGHT LETTERS SAY IT AND IM YOURS.

Epic scene aside they both look so good here. This episode is gift in matching outfits.

Dan, Serena and fireworks. 😪 here we go again

I loved this episod the first time I watched it and I think I love it even more so now. It’s really good, full of funny lines, great outfits and epic moments. Season two is as of now my fave season (i think this is also true for many people) and it starts with a bang. Quite literally actually with the opening scene being Nate going at it with an “older” woman, which I guess was meant to be shocking in part because we ended last season wondering if something was going to happen between Nate and Serena.

Sadly it didn’t and that’s my biggest complain for this episode because how on earth did they thought it was ok to waste all that set up, and to add insult to the injury they are like so Serena and Nate are secretly dating... but it is just like a throway line because except for that amazing kiss at the white party we never see them fakee dating and I honestly want to pull my hair out of frustration. Just imagine the possibilities that weren’t, granted fake dating is one of my favorite tropes but it could have been quite the storyline imagine: Serenate fake dates and that sparks the feelings that were pushed aside on S1 but that were always there, and now there’s nothing that can stop them to act on it, except Serena has feelings for Dan too, and she struggles because of it all the first half of S1 until eventually she picks Dan and breaks Nate’s heart, combined with all the other pressures in his life, he wants something easy and this happens to coincide with Blair’s downright spiral and that’s how Nair happens again in the second half of S2.

My point being you could add so many more moments in the Serenate saga, also give more force to the idea the show always tried to do: that Serena can’t really let go of Dan, because Nate and her are quite something and yet... and still have almost the same story on the second half which was important because it gave closure to Nair and also had both Chuck and Blair realizing a couple of things. Alas one can only dream and be happy that at least we got that kiss at the white party

So back to the episode, we learn that Nate is having and affair with a married woman, Serena misses Dan a lot and basically mourned him the whole summer meanwhile he was being an asshole in the City fooling girls he met at his intership and Jenny is working and trying to stand out in her own internship at Waldorf desings. Which reminds me Eric is such a gem of a character, he’s always have good one liners but whe’s also a nice counter balance to all the manipulation and bitchery going around him. Anyway all of these storylines are barely a tease of what’s coming, and they really take off in the next episode, so I’ll get into them then, so at the end of the episode Nate manages to keep the affair goin into the city, Jenny earns a bit of respect from her boss and Serena and Dan see each other again (thanks to Cece which is another character I wish we had see a bit more) they meet at the beach ready to see if there’s something to salvage between them. We’ll see.

The real star of this episode are Chuck and Blair. This episode belongs to them. I’ve seen comments that claim this is the season that made them epic and really take off and I quite agree, and this episode in particular sets up the stage for it, touching on a lot of the aspects that are going to be their arc for this season and even beyond. So at the end of S1 Chuck stands up Blair and she goes alone to Tuscany and he doesn’t goes after her the whole summer. Instead he spends the summer in The Hamptons being Chuck Bass, she ends up in France. We soon learn that while Chuck  enjoyed himself during the summer Blair wasn’t far off in his mind:, the minute she’s back he goes aftet her, roses in hand only to find out she came back with a new guy, and she does everything in her power to rub that fact in his face which Chuck should have expected, it obviously bothers him but truth is they both know this is just Blair trying to get back at him for abandoning her, he hurt her, she obviously doesn’t tell him but he ruined his summer and she couldn’t stop thinking about the motherchucker

Shenanigans ensue but there are bits that really stand out: first of them the heart pinn. That's a telling bit about Chuck’s feelings, when that pin make its first appearance on S1 it was the beginning of the end for Chuck, the meaning of it was what got her to accept going to Cotillion with Nate  and now she has gave it to James and Chuck buys it because I guess part of him couldn’t believe she would go as far as to use that to hurt him, that’s a low blow and she also didn’t gave it to him that week they were going out after the wedding, even though it went really well but most importantly he believes she can’t really feel that way about him because he’s just not the kind of guy someone can feel something for, but specially someone  like Blair Waldorf, who dreams of finding her prince charming and such, and to his utter horror it’s revealed that Blair’s new guy is actually a british lord. Just his luck.

He’s anything but that, therefore not for Blair. He tells her as a much later in the episode when he let’s her know that he basically stood her up because he was afraid of her getting to really know him and see he was not good enough nor someone she could be with. And this is something that’s going to be quite the struggle for him for a long time, more than once during the show he’s going to remove himself from the picture because he believes she deserves someone better who can actually make her happy, and this season this happens quite a few times.

Thing is nothing is ever that simple, and this is the other bit that really stands out for me: when James calls her out on how she just use him to make Chuck jealous she justifies herself by pointing out Chuck’s an awful person, who lies and deceives so he kinds of deserve it, and James points out the fact that well she’s sort of the same, and they deserve each other. She lashes out at Chuck because of this and blames him for her argument with James, it’s his fault she played with James, and Chuck’s point out that no one force her to do anything she did it because they’re the same, meaning they scheme and manipulate to get what they want, so she should just stop fighting this thing between them, she rejects him claiming she would hate any resamblance to him. This whole argument is honestly quite interesting, because variations of it are going to keep popping up the rest of the show, and depending on who you ship you either take literally as if  Chuck is the root of Blair worst tendencies or rather see this argument as representation of Blair struggles not with Chuck, but with herself.

Blair struggles in accepting herself, at her core she’s an insecure person, and the fact that she has a dark side that she can’t exactly change because it’s so deep roothed in her bothers her even before she and Chuck were anything, to me it bothers her not because she really wishes she was nice & good person, but rather because Serena is  nice person, who’s regarded as literal ray of sunshine at times, and Serena got two things she wanted for the longest time: positive atention from Eleanor and Nate’s interest.So that fight within herself was always there, it didn’t appear the day she started dating Chuck, is just that in the same way they brought out the best in each other, when things go bad between them the opposite sometimes happened, and even then when they blame each other for something half the time it was to share some of the hurt and to avoid dealing with their own shortcomings and mistakes. Truthfully Chuck and Blair did something for each other no one had really done for them they accept each other fully, Blair’s able to accept and love his darkness, and for Chuck there’s no darkness in Blair she’s the way she is and that’s what makes her wonderful. It was easier for them to love each other than to love themselves. 

Finally the biggest stand out of the episode is that iconic scene, the one that really puts into place the dynamic they will have for the rest of the season: Three words, eight letters are brought to the table, and they won’t move forward until the words have been said. It makes sense, because they tried this twice before, the first one came out of nowhere and it ended with Chuck getting dumped in favor of Nate, and that burned him badly, the second one Blair was the one who got hurt, and both times this pretty much happened because they aren’t able of telling each other how they feel, particularly Chuck. The first time he didn’t let her know he actually cared and wanted to be with her, the second one he didn’t tell her he was afraid, and all of this was too much too soon. So Blair wants, needs some kind of reassurance, and it makes me wonder how that week after the wedding really went, what happened? how wonderful it must have been that even though he abandoned her a that helipad she still had hope in the fact that he may love her. He doesn’t say it, and yet I still love this moment so much for  because jus by asking him to say it is in some way an admittance on her own feellings, and he fails to saythe words  but he did try, and the fact that he did try is also a form of admittance and as such  from here on no matter what happens, how much they fight and toy with each other there’s always an undercurrent of love behind their actions,and this is (borrowing a phrase from a certain popstar) the most amazing unspoken dialogue ever. 

Random bits I’ve noticed

Chuck has a bouquet of yellow roses for his intent on getting Blair back. If my memory serves right, those were his mom favorites

I’m such a sucker for the little backdrop details like the Van der Bass house having all these background pictures of the wedding

Thanks to Chuck for giving us the rank on Blair’s favorite films: Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Roman Holiday & Funny Face (even if he said Charades to prove a point)

I’ve read somewhere I think it was on twitter that Blair’s crying in the garden scene was unscripted, Leighton did because she got really caught up in the scene particularly by Ed’s acting. I’ve looked it up but so far I haven’t found anything on this.

There’s a bunch of miniature cyclists under the mirror where Cece’s doing the final touches to her hair, looks sort of weird.

that vitamin water is even on the invitation, agust 30, 2008.

[hemlockyy]

A response to this tweet:

https://twitter.com/LETMEVOL6/status/1318301718610923520?s=19

"ok. i’m bout to ask a question to the larries. yalls whole argument is that simon and modest are homophobic right? please explain to me how Harry got away with being such a strong advocate for the LGBTQ+ community while being in One Direction? Why was harry the only one dropping hints on his sexuality. if they were so dead set on pushing this heterosexual narrative onto the boys then how did Harry get away with the things that he did? harry was dropping hints at his attraction to males. no, not with over analyzed song lyrics. i mean dead ass saying it. I genuinely want to know because Harry‘s been out of the closet for years now .y’all claim that Louis is closete. Harry managed to get out of the “evil clutches of Simon Cowell“ what stopping Louis and doing the same? unless this whole Larry theory was a lie and y’all were bored like, can someone please tell me why that happened? if Harry is allowed to be so open about his sexuality what stopping louis? if Harry got away from Simon would stopping in Louis they all have the same opportunity Harry may be the richest member but Louis can’t be that far back so tell me how did Harry manage to get away and be so open about his attraction of males and louis didn’t? i genuinely don’t get that."

Harry has been refering to his partner as gender neutral since forever, its not something he dropped hints on.

Not only that you have to also consider the narratives management pushed upon each of them aswell: Ima try to do a brief summary on H and Lou only, as this is reffered to Larries.

Louis: Perfect Boyfriend, a stable girlfriend throughout the years, influencer pretty girlfriend, no background on her so no backlash, constant papwalks on them and the occasional 'theyre toguether' tweets. Literally what it would be normalized as a happy relationship.

Harry: Fuck Boy, dated a lot of people, womaniser, headlines every week linking him to a new person, kendall, Taylor, Caroline etc, all big names yet all stunts, papwalks, 18 months of dating or interaction then never talked about again, the boy to wisk you away to a magical night then leave you the next morning.

Now taking these both you can see they are very different narratives, thus enabling them for two very distinctive ways to hinting at their sexuality with us.

Louis due to stunt reasons had to make his love songs (or his songs overall) seem like they hint at a specific girl, eleanor. Building up on the narrative they've had over the years. So while he can't directly call out his 'perfect woman' in gender neutral pronouns like Harry does, he CAN on the other hand choose what he specifies her as: a good chef, long brown hair paired with a british accent.

Very specific things that very obviously link to Harry while making press and hets think its towards Eleanor.

That one interview which didn't air where Louis said he had a boyfriend...

But this is just verbal. Lyric whise Louis has been more open and smart then anyone I've ever listened to-

The lyrics directly paralleling gay relationship, the struggles, the fear of not being able to be with them... Everything that a Heterosexual reletionship would NEVER experience. A few examples:

→Alive - One Direction (Louis) MM

"My mama told me I should go and get some therapy"

"I asked the doctor, "can you find out what is wrong with me? I don't know why I wanna be with every girl I meet"

"I can't control it"

"She said, "hey, it's alright Does it make you feel alive?"

"We got to live before we get older. Do what we like, we got nothing to lose. Shake off the weight of the world from your shoulders. Oh, we got nothing to prove"

"Went to a party just after the doctor talked to me, I met a girl, I took her in up to the balcony, I whispered something in her ear that I just can't repeat, She said, "okay" but she was worried what her friends will think"

This whole song is about questioning you sexuality and realizing you like the same sex.

Read over the lyrics and change:

girl - boy

she/her - he/him

and you'll see what I mean

→End Of The Day (Louis and Liam) MITAM

"Love can be frightening for sure"

"All I know at the end of the day is you want what you want and you say what you say, And you'll follow your heart even though it'll break, Sometimes"

"All I know at the end of the day is love who you love, There ain't no other way, If there's something I've learnt from a million mistakes, You're the one that I want at the end of the day"

"The priest thinks it's the devil, My mum thinks it's the flu, But girl it's only you"

"When the sun goes I know that you and me and everything will be alright, And when the city's sleeping, you and I can stay awake and keep on dreaming"

this whole song (apart from that one "girl") is just a huge gay awakening. If you keep the girl its a wlw anthem then.

some more exaples from scattered songs:

"There's a moment when you finally realize, There's no way you can change the rolling tide" -Ready To Run

"There will always be the kind that criticize, But I know, yes I know we'll be alright" -Ready To Run

"Told myself I kind of liked her, But there was something missing in her eyes" -Home

"I was stumbling, looking in the dark , With an empty heart, But you say you feel the same"-Home

"Still high with a little feeling, I see the smile as it starts to creep in, It was there, I saw it in your eyes" -Home

"But I know you're only hiding, And I just wanna see you" -Through The Dark

"And I can see your head is held in shame, But I just wanna see you smile again" -Through The Dark

"And I will hold you closer, Hope your heart is strong enough" -Through the dark

"People say we shouldn't be together, We're too young to know about forever" -TDKAU

"They don't know about the things we do, They don't know about the "I love yous"-TDKAU

these are just some out of the many Louis wrote. You can see where I'm going with it now.

and im not even going to touch i to all the shading Louis did with his clothes, tattoos, actions etc...

Now, Harry 'got away' with those actions because of various reasons, but I wouldn't say that he got away, I'd call it more of a "You stop me from doing this we will get backlash for possible homophobia and then y'all lose money so suck it up fuckers we're going on a rainbow ride" which is true; Yes, Harry did always refer to his ideal partner in gender neutral forms, but during the rainbow direction project was when he really amped it up so he could always go with the casual "I'm just supporting my fans, there's no harm in that" when confronted about it, which includes him waving the flags around and all the other stuff.

But it also seems you all are forgetting about how along with all the Queer!Harry we got, we also got more and more headlines of Wom!Harry, more stunts and etc: 5 different official relationships (not counting Kendal twice, which would make 6) between late 2014-early 2016 ALSO NOT COUNTING RUMOURED GIRLFRIENDS which then would make the list go so much higher, Harry couldn't before and still can't hang out with WOMEN or else there will be rumours of them dating.

And this doesn't happen with Men :/ He can hang put with multiple men, and there probably will be barelly one and a half articles written about it -only by small outlets- which in comparison to when he is seen hanging our with a 'mysterious woman' we'll get hundreds of articles about it in a span of an hour.

So what I'm trying to say is that sadly he can still call his ideal partner a he and be seen kissing a guy that the media probably will focus on the chick on the background and write an article like "Harry Styles seen out with friends in LA and he seemed extra cozy with mysterious blonde".

But again, the same with Louis, he hints at us about his sexuality so much, be it us the only one who properly listens to him.

With his songs and the flags and the pins and everything.

Here's some of his lyrics from the Oned era:

"We were meant to be but a twist of fate, Made it so you had to walk away" -Happily

"I don't care what people say when we're together"-Happily

"I can't even think straight but I can tell, You were just with her"-JABOYL

"And nothing's ever easy, That's what they say"-JABOYL

"Pay attention, I hope that you listen 'cause I let my guard down, Right now I'm completely defenseless"-If I Could Fly

"I've got scars even though they can't always be seen, And pain gets hard, but now you're here and I don't feel a thing"-If I Could Fly

"One day you'll come into my world and say it all, You say we'll be together even when you're lost"-Something Great

"I want you here with me, Like how I pictured it, So I don't have to keep imagining"-Something Great

"The script was written and I could not change a thing, I want to rip it all to shreds and start again"-Something Great

"You're all I want, So much it's hurting"-Something Great

So yeah, its sad that you just alienated that one thing without having context nor looking at the bigger picture. If I missed anything please tell me. :]

sorry for the long post

(copied from my answer on twitter)

[lesbiansastiel]

i asked my gf who’s never watched spn to tell me what these pictures of spn characters make them think:

he has very bad promo pictures

ofc its sam! .. is that sam?

your favourite, theres at least 8000 lgbt headcanons for him

he definitely peels apples before eating them

no idea

he looks like hes in a cereal commercial

propably plays fortnite???

oh my god what the fuck

his parents needed money so he was forced to do promo pics for a school and if u uncrop this picture hes holding a backpack and a book that says like. ABC

haircut is making me think thats young sam but im not sure

me: that is young sam

ok cool!

thats a homophobe. i know a homophobe when i see one

me: the actor is

i know that thats dean, leather jacket looks smelly

i dont like or trust him bc his voice is too low, no offense

but he was funny in that episode when they thought they were... when they were the actors, i like that they shamed the actors (jensen ankles?) trailer

i always assume hes dead, every time i see him im like oh fuck hes not dead yet????

he looks like he dies first in a zombie game protecting the protagonists daughter

opens beer cans with knives (stabbing them from above)

has touristy fridge magnets

hillbilly neighbour that just stuck around

later: OH HIS NAME IS bobby

um........ lost journalist from a chick-flick

looks too enthusiastic to be in this show

name starts w an R and dies dramatically and causes trauma for multiple people?

me: its charlie

oh....

me: do you know who that is?

shes the one that causes angst in ur fanfic? someone’s ex? writes paranormal articles- like someone who works in a pokemon centre and takes care of the reporting to the media i know this is not true but that’s how it should be based on characted design

why.. what is that shirt

she looks like she’s from twin peaks but like a weird 90s techno nostalgia version

probably not real, but someones hallucination, like a little sister that someone lost and then hallucinates coming back?????

me: that’s jess.. from my fic

oh no im so sorry, i thought that the previous one was that one

then thats like a college person who sam did like drugs and beer with and they were happy and then she died.. tragic :(

umm öööööö, uhhhh

kinda looks like a serial killer, like a bad one who hasnt killed anyone in years so his face is tired. he wants flesh

um,i say um to everyone im so sorry

he has a conflicted expression

i think he’s sassy or just tired of everyone

no idea who that is.. i just feel sorry for this character idk why

*laughs*

a 12-year-old who got a toy gun for christmas bc hes american

hes gay probably and pretending to like guns so his dad doesnt get disappointed

for real, in this show, a young new hunter and messes up and then does one heroic thing and dies immediately after?

this looks like the perfect love interest who dies dramatically and is relationship with an important man character whose controlling when she wants to be independent and doesnt want to hide in a basement like the man wants her to

me: ??????????????????

she also looks like a cop like every woman in this show somehow but her character design is too soft to be a tv cop woman lady

2009 hair

probably a cop?

is styled in a way that always looks way too make-uppy and probably wears heels to work bc this is a bad character design show

me: shes not a human i can say that much

then shes a demon bc thats what all the women are in this show, theyre all demons

i hope shes not evil, this might be trap she looks friendly but that isnt the truth

this looks like a slightly messy and like, bohemic twin of the reporter that works in a pokemon centre

is probably rich

lots of anger that is not showcased in this picture

clenched fists

all in all, suspicious

probably supposed to be related since theyre in the same picture and different ages but they dont look related at all

they look like they’re from teen wolf

and probably would star in a scene where they see that someone has key’ed their car and theyre like fuuuuck

i think this character is supposed to be a cool friend woman whose not supposed to be super feminine and love-interesty bc shes wearing plaid and drinkin beer but they Failed

probably a werewolf

also is she wearing nothing under that plaid what is this...

me: oh fuck why is this picture so HQ compared to the rest...

it’s bc he’s an angel

obscene amount of powers that seem useless bc if he actually had Power they wouldnt need this show and he could just figure everything out

i know that people wear those annoying pins that say theyre waiting for an angel in trench coat. but i dont think he’s ever going to come :(

i think his name is castiel and mishaapocalypse happened w his face

and i saw his face taped to a mcdonald door in a small town in finland

yet another teen wolf character

looks like a suspicious teenager who lives in a town where they (the brothers) stop to get gas and he’s hanging out at the gas station

hes like heyyy youre not like other people here are you perhaps... hunters bc my mom died and now my house is haunted

daddy issues

me: correct

um. another beer lady. probably, people have decided, a lesbian

looks like a stock photo of someone eating salad at a rural setting after a hard day at work milking cows

also somehow looks like works in a lab

is related to the weird open-flannel-no-t-shirt woman (the beer one), probably her mom

thats all

um. major demon

probably has a scene where she tries to kill someone with a knife seductively

hated in the fandom and in fanfic someone who tries to steal deans man (which is stupid bc deans a homophobe anywaY)

also looks like fantasy show self-insert but evil

me: i think that’s a teenager

welcome to my twisted mind

im sorry...

happy

which is making me think that he probably dies, sadly.

probably takes care of an older family member

has some demon problems

that’s all

post-apocalyptic show character where theyre trying to have something else than 40yo white hilbilly men bc thats not media sexy

i hope that she doesnt die but probably does bc shes not a major character

me: can i reveal something i know

yes please

me: her and the blonde that you called demon had a thing canonically

cool!!!!

probably lives in a ranch that has no electricity due to demon problems

me: :D

and still does her hair somehow

uuummmm this looks like someone’s weird flashback version that is supposed to look like a teenager but actually looks older

me: uhh this is a bad picture let me find a bettter one

me: there we go

looks like this character needs a cowboy hat

probably writes dean’s name in her diary??

COMPHET

thats all

[everyman0]

A PALE BLUE GHOST

over on the discord, i announced my decision to make another trip to the Edge to try my luck at finding any kind of clue that could help me make sense of it. patrick gave me a whole lot of lip about not using his fucking mirror and other bullshit, but ill save that for another post. this is a lot more fresh and painful for me.

going back outside was a mistake.

i journeyed the five hours it took to get to the impenetrable black wall of the Edge. my plan was to walk down its length, survey anything unusual, you know. obviously i wouldnt have been able to observe all of it in one day as ive mentioned the area it covers is rather large, but i felt some effort was better than none at all, and i wasnt exactly comfortable with the idea of spending the night this far away from the house. simple enough right? there was nothing out of place on the way out here, so i hardly expected what i saw just as i approached the wall. 

it was jeff. sort of.

when i first saw him, he appeared almost like a reflection of me in the blackness. as i stepped closer to the wall, so did he step forward as well - until eventually seeming to step out of the wall entirely. we stood face to face, a mere foot apart, and i noticed then that his entire being was tinted with a pale blue.

i was terrified. i wanted to run away, but i couldnt make myself do it. so i asked timidly, "what are you doing here?"

jeff seems to come alive then.

"what? you told me to grab some stuff for the video today."

fucking bastard. i was still scared, but somehow i just knew he was mocking me. i frown, reaffirming my stance. i had to ask myself if jeff would even do such a thing to me...and then i figured yeah, probably - ghost or not.

"dont you dare pull that bullshit on me," i said, "those days are long gone." and they were. 

jeff laughs. "don't you miss it? simpler times." he splays his hands out like an offering. "cant be all that bad to pretend, for a little while."

i squint my eyes at him - both of them. these days i dont bother wearing an eyepatch, since the point was for evans comfort to begin with. now it doesnt matter that i have a gaping fucking hole in my head for all to see.

i ball my fists at my sides. "i dont have time to pretend, and i dont have time for this conversation - so lets get to the point. why are you here?"

"to see my old friend again! and to tell you there's always more than meets the eye." jeff then taps a finger underneath his left eye, and a phantom pain throbs in my own empty socket. i try to ignore it. 

"yeah, no shit," i say, and cross my arms. i was losing my patience. "if you're just going to spout vague nonsense at me like every other motherfucker does on a constant basis, i'm sorry to say but i will have to pass. i have more important things to do."

"like stand in front of this wall and bitch? is that what you're doing here?" jeff grins, and tilts his head at me. i just scoff, and deciding i had enough, i begin trying to do what i came to the wall for in the first place and begin walking parallel to it. jeff follows after me.

"im only bitching because here you are to distract me," i say, side-eyeing him, "so if you don't mind, kindly fuck off."

"i do mind, actually. why do you even want to leave? its paradise in here. no need to eat or drink, perfect climate, no irritating neighbors or awkward staredowns at the grocery store- you'd love it!"

i stop in my tracks. i hate that the sound of his voice is enough to get me to actually consider his words. but i do, and then i say:

"you know, for a while there, i did enjoy it. to an extent, anyways. you can only enjoy so much when you are all too aware of every little fucking thing. and maybe i could have handled the ghost thing, right? like you said, no neighbors or weird interactions. but then i saw this wall, and now i feel like a trapped animal - and im not okay with that."

"so if you couldnt see the wall, it'd be fine?"

i shake my head, "i came out here the first time to see if i could leave, and i wouldve kept walking if there was nothing to stop me. maybe i would have returned, after a while, had i done so. maybe not." i shrug, somewhat frustrated at the thought. "a wall is a wall, whether i can see it or not. seeing isnt the problem, the existence of the thing is."

"well yeah, but you can't just leave." jeff says it like its obvious. in hindsight, maybe it was. i could already imagine a few reasons as to why, but i wanted to pry out what jeff seems to think the answer is.

so i ask, "and why is that?"

jeff answers: "because there's...people, out there? like, innocent fuckin people, dude." well duh.

i roll my eyes, "im aware. but what does that have to do with me, exactly? habit is already somewhere else doing god knows what."

jeff looks on blankly. "we don't need two of you out there."

ouch. and unfortunately, on some level i believe it to be true. and the implication that i would intentionally hurt or even kill anyone like habit would...im sadly all too aware of the likelihood, really. it doesnt hurt because i feel bad, it hurts because i dont. however, i wasnt about to let this guy know that.

i say, "it's not like id be very social anyways. at this point, i dont think i could even stomach it."

jeff takes on a darker sort of air about him. "evidently so, based on how you treated evan. do you have your head screwed on straight, dude? because like, holy shit was that hard to watch."

i tense up, and i can feel a spark of anger rising from within me. guess it didnt matter what i tried to hide, jeff knew what weak points to hit.

"i was just trying to protect him." 

"uh huh," he nods, "sorry vinny, but you're not the guardian in this one."

"clearly," i grumble, "but i was fucking trying, okay?" i was trying. jeff thought otherwise.

"yeah, trying to get everyone killed. thanks for that one, by the way. you've been self absorbed, irresponsible, reckless and horrible to everyone around you that isn't the entity playing games with our lives, and you can't keep pretending it's not true! do some soul searching. meditate. i don't care. but you're not leaving any time soon, so you'd better get used to it." jeff jabs me in the chest with a pointed finger.

it didnt take but a moment to process jeffs words, and ultimately, i agree with him. im a terrible fucking person. i just am. but i wasnt going to give jeff the satisfaction of me fessing up to it - because i felt like all of this was beginning to become unproductive bullshit and i wanted to do what i came all the way out here to do dammit.

i go to smack jeffs hand away from me, but i come to find that i simply pass through him like he was air. i felt the jab, though, even if superficially. this confirms my suspicion about the ghost thing, but jeff was different from the ghosts in the town; like being able to talk and acknowledge my existence.

i take a step back, "we'll see about that. who the fuck made this wall, hm? you of all things must know right? since you are apparently a plethora of knowledge of good and evil now. can you do that much for me jeff?"

jeff considers my words before he turns away from me to face the terrible wall, his hands on his hips, and his head craning back to presumably observe the wall's endless climb into the sky above.

"habit designed this gaudy architecture as part of his grand scheme. you probably could have figured that much, eh? but what you wouldnt know is that its been here since the very beginning, before you even arrived at the house." he looks back at me, "come on vin. you should know by now that habit is well prepared...even if this timeline is bonkers. you shouldnt need me to tell you that."

i grumble in annoyance, but consider his words carefully. sure, maybe i didnt need him to tell me habit was a suspect in all this, and maybe i could have figured that out just by doing what i had originally planned with scouting the perimeter of the wall. but...here jeff was, telling me things outright. it was a convenient time saver really, even if he was going about it in a bitchy way. i needed to take advantage of this.

"so, if habit made this cage to keep me in, why shouldnt i try to break out? why shouldnt i try to fight his subjugation?"

"one, because habit has eons of experience over you and you'll likely fuck something up really badly," jeff says, and turns towards me again. "two, you're part of this place now. removing you would shatter a really delicate balance. the house is a place of fluctuation, because there's not enough power to sustain herself. and you're radiating power, dude. would you really just abandon her like that, after all she's done to keep you safe and alive?"

ouch again...ugh. i dont usually feel guilty over a lot of things, but jeffs second point seemed to get to me.

i relent. i cower my head to stare at the ground. "i wouldnt have left her forever."

jeff gives me a disappointed sigh. "go back home, man. she's really worried about you."

i bite my lip and give the slightest of nods. i still want to do what i can to escape, and i hadnt forgotten about why i came to the wall in the first place...but jeff's words had me thinking about my desires for the house. in truth, the house and i have formed a strange sort of...i dunno, friendship? its the closest human word i can think for it. i would talk to her, she would listen. id even clean up her rooms, even though ive observed that she can do it by herself.

i think she may be the only thing in this world that can understand me now.

so i feel like in some weird way, the house cares about me. she has done quite a few favors for me, after all; favors that kept me safer. jeff was right again, and i couldnt shake the wrongness of abandoning the house enough to continue talking my way out of this bind.

it was time to go then. but first, i look back up at jeff.

"what about you?" i ask, my mood seriously taking a nose dive off a cliff. sad and desperate and pathetic and lonely. "you came all this way from wherever, however you did it, to tell me all this...are you going to leave me now too, just like evan?" fuck. "i wouldn't blame you if you did...but i have to admit, it was nice seeing you again."

and truthfully, it was - despite the treatment i received. its fine. i deserved it.

jeff leans in, and i can feel the pity in his eyes as he puts a hand on my shoulder.

"that choice isn't mine to make."

and then he shoves me away from the wall with a force that sends me tumbling across the ground a good few feet. i think it fucked up my shoulder. its fine. deserved that too.

and then i went home.

>>

[xo-dailypier-blog]

[Post 1 of 3]

Wow! What a week. Summer Crush truly took the life of me, and the way some of these hook ups went, it took the life out of you too. 

Instead of giving everyone an entire rundown of the day-by-day events, I took it upon myself to collect the top ten moments that I felt really stood out to ME, The Daily Pier!

TEN.

I should probably start this countdown off with the Noah/Diana/Natasha triangle going on that none of them know that they are a part of. It’s the most heartwarming thing to happen during this event and I LOVE it! Ok, so just to catch you all up to speed, #SinCarter were married once upon a slay. They eloped when they were off being WAR CRIMINALS for the USA or whatever. So once Natasha began to explore her latent homosexuality that she had repressed all these years the two came to the mutual agreement to just divorce. (Also, her sister was dealing with like, a meth addiction, or something, so that probably didn’t help the relationship). So fast forward 10 years and here they are in the same town with TONS of baggage, and unfinished business.

BUT WAIT a new challenger approaches in Diana Taylor. Noah and Diana have been getting pretty close these past view months. Some people have even said that he’s the rebound to that Daniel guy she was dating. I mean, after MONTHS of heavy petting and will they/won’t they, after their Summer Crush date, rumor has it that the two went back to Noah’s place and … well … *fellatio noises*. Obvs this can’t get out because Diana is in the public eye, so don’t tell anyone.

With a new woman in his life, and the old one present with a lot of shit to work out with him, this new season of the Aryan Chronicles looks promising!

As for who I ship? Well, I want to say #SinCarter because the mutual feelings of their past came back full force during this event. And I still ship Olivia/Diana and Diana/Wes. Neither of which will happen because 1.)Diana and Olivia are “”””””straight”””””””” and 2.)Ever since Diana RANDOMLY left New York she’s been keeping everyone at arms length, especially Wes. Who has too much love to give, and doesn’t deserve that. Who’s to say she won’t do the same to Noah?

I’m watching you Diana (if that is your real name).

NINE.

Q: Rexless_Fan asked “Victor and June hooked up in a fantasy suite and they're roommates so now it's awkward and scandy cuz they haven't told their third roommate at all!”

A: IM SORRY, WHAT BITCH??!!

SORRY FOR THE ALL CAPS BUT ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT DURING THEIR MOVIE NIGHT THE POPCORN WASNT ALL THAT WAS POPPIN, BUT HER PUSSY WAS ALSO?!!!!! I KNEW THAT JUNE WAS SECRETLY A BAD GIRL UNDERNEATH IT ALL. SHE PRETENDS THAT SHE ALL PURE AND INNOCENT AND JUST LIKE SIT IN A FUCKING CORNER WITH HER FUCKING BUGS AND FLOWERS OR WHATEVER BUT ANYBODY WHO FUCKS A BACK UP SINGER FOR A MARGINALLY SUCCESSFUL BAND CLEARLY LIVES ON THE FUCKING EDGE!!

I HEARD THE NEWS THAT JUNE, THE DOLL BABY, ARMSTRONG GOT THAT #DIC BUT I DIDN’T BELIEVE IT AND IF WHAT THEY SAY IS TRUE SHE IS INDEED A SCREAMER!!!!!!

COMING IN AT NUMBER NINE IS JUNE, WHO HAD YOU ALL FOOLED INTO THINKING SHE WAS A INNOCENT ANGEL BABY. WEVE DECIDED TO STAN UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE.

EIGHT.

Coming in at number eight is Phobe “Pharrah Abraham” Cole. It’s true, she was on top of things in more ways than one. But who am i to judge? I actually think it’s progressive, and super inspiring. I mean, ok, take this with a grain of salt, Im not really trying to lie but ... Phobe? Phobe has Genital Herpes. It’s been two weeks since a flair up (according to sources close to her) and I think it’s really brave of her to disclose her status with the MYRIAD of men she ENGAGED with during the week. It just goes to show that it CAN be done! I mean, you did tell them ... right Phobe? Moving on! I will say that while did used to ship Jack/Phobe during the night they hooked up but since Jack allegedly only lasted about 4 minutes it makes me wonder about a future with the two. So many girls who have been with him have written in and told me sex with him is ABYSMAL! He spends the entire time looking in the mirror or taking selfies that he refuses to be focused on the matter at hand. Of course this is all a rumor, but would you really put it past our neighborhood beauty queen? But I guess this isn’t about Jack, and his short comings. Anyways...

SEVEN.

Q: SharkThot asked “Hey DP I just want to start off by saying that I love your site, I’ve been a loyal viewer for years! And I hope Myles Bennett sees this because I love him even more! I don’t care what you say about him DP, Myles is my bae and would never do anyone wrong! Ugh, He makes me (Shark)Weak! I did see him earlier last week getting BULLIED by that Stark Bitch. What was that about?”

A: Aww, SharkThot,

I assume you mean Heidi Stark, the elusive chanteuse. Her arrival has caused quite the controversy, considering she materialized out of no where. I guess this particular countdown entry will have more to do with her than the actual question. But for those of you who don’t know, Heidi Stark is Julian’s slightly more attractive sister. Her strong presence is quite intimidating, but according to a lot of sources ... She’s a complete fraud. She speaks in an Australian accent, but some say she’s from, like, Missouri and only picked up an accent for #clout. Her “designer” clothes? Ross (Dress for Less). And she apparently was spotted raiding a bunch of Payless Shoe Stores for the cheapest prices prior to their shutdown, where she then proceeded to paint the bottom of all the shoes she got red. Oh! And the degree she got from that fashion school on New York? FORGED! She totally went to Devry. I mean, it’s nothing wrong with that, but omg, just be honest girl. Anyways, back to the point. The #BabySharks (Myles’ fandom name) were INCENSED when they saw Fraudi CORNERING Myles at the speed dating event. According to by standers she was totally waving her finger in HIS FACE, SHOVING HIM repeatedly before pouring the ENTIRE CONTENTS of her martini onto his FACE! You would think that since he works in the ocean (and is used to having liquids on his face (Golden Showers ... other bodily fluids) ), Myles would have been unbothered by her VICIOUS ATTACK, but it was said that he left CRYING. Poor Guy. (Lol sike i don’t give a fck).

SIX.

Q: Loganista asked “How could you possibly still be loyal to “King Jason” when all he cares about is that CUNT Alex. You know I saw them going into one of those FUCK SUITE when just 2 days ago they hated each others guts. They make me sick. Do you think it’s time to move on DP?”

A: Hey Loganista,

Ugh, same! You know, Logan Lancaster, and BernBern<3 are right there looking all sexy and things of that nature, hmm, so who knows .. perhaps I could move on one of these days. But not now. But speaking of LongDick Lancaster and the #Jalex reunion you mentioned, the #Lolex and #Jalina dates were less than eventful. The two spent the entire time thinking of the other instead of getting to know the people I set them up with. It makes me feel really bad for LDLogan because he is truly such a nice guy but everyone he gets involved with, is using him. Leah totes just uses him as a dick call, and Alex is always using him as a rebound. When she was on the date with Logan all she could talk about was Jason, Jason, Jason. I heard she told Logan that if it were “6 months ago” (when she wasn’t involved with Jason) she would totally be on all fours for him. Which is bullshit, because she totally FUCKED Logan like, two weeks ago when she was mad at Jason. So what’s the truth Alex?

Thank God Alegenda came out of this unscathed. I wouldn’t want a QUEEN like her with court jester Jason. Sadly, she won’t be able to be with Devin like I wanted, since he had sex with Phobe and … well…

FIVE.

Speaking of Jason, another Sorrentino is on the list of topics for tonight. Brooklyn Sorrentino! Ok, so for those of you who don’t know. Brooklyn was seen crying after an encounter with her ex, Grayson Fox. As I’ve said before, they were engaged to being MARRIED, but out of no where, he left her.  So. naturally I did a little more research on she and her GrayBae Fox and what I found blew my wig right the fuck off. Ok, so it is alleged that (Actual) Daddy Sorrentino (that’s Jason/Brooklyn’s dad) PAID HIM OFF because he had no plans of a complete and total LOSER like Grayson dating, and MARRYING, his daughter. So after receiving this unknown amount of money, Grayson left Brooklyn a note saying his Goodbyes. And now … all the have is memories.

OF COURSE I don’t believe this shit! I still think the bitch's pussy stinks, so he didn’t want to wake up to that every frickin’ day of his life. And besides, it’s been how many years? Wouldn’t he have just told her what’s up at this point? Instead of moving into the same town as her, and acting like NOTHING is wrong? And then proceeding to FLIRT with the LIKES OF DAKOTA SONG? Yes! The two were seen getting pretty cozy, locking fingers, playing footsies, and exchanging hair-care regimes during Summer Crush. Poor Brooklyn, first she got beat up by Phobe and THEN we find out she lost her man. What a loser.

FOUR.

Q: AshersBabyMomma asked “STOP making fun of Asher! It’s so mean!!!!!!!! Asher is really trying his best to get by and all you do is pick on him! Us #Ashies will boycott your blog if you do not stop!”

A: Well, you’re in luck because coming in at number __ is Asher himself! 

And you’re right AshersBabyMomma, Asher has surprisingly been on his best behavior recently. Either that, or you demons have managed to make him look like an angel. Honestly? I think I’m actually going to start being nice to Asher. No more calling him things like “Crackhead Asher”, Ashy Lip Asher, Ashy Asher, and more things Of That Nature. He’s really gotten his act together and I’m so proud of him, and even more apologetic for the way I’ve treated him. 

A moment of silence for the old me that used to make fun of him…

…

…Anyways, Asher is an Escort now (as I said before). He totes is fucking [redacted] in exchange for money and drugs (CRACK not included). In FACT, it is alleged that he offered his services to Alec Clarke. Again, this could all be made up, but they were spotted disappearing into a hotel together where they stayed until the sun came up. (#Romantic) Now girl MIND YOU, Alec is Adam’s roomie, and multiple sources have claimed that he is secretly in LOVE with him! Which is a LIE! If Alec IS a MLM then he has WAY better standards than a Tax Evasionista. And I’m sure Asher has better standards than Alec… well … *Hot Dog on a Stick Flashbacks*..

Nevermind.

THREE.

Q: Emrestoplip asked “Ugh but the Yavuz family are all HOT and not problematic unless ur holding out on us DP”

A: Well I must admit they ARE all hot but sadly they are just as problematic as the rest. 

Specifically that Kessa girl. Her Lifetime Original Movie of a life has completely ruined the dynamic of her family. It’s made both Emre and Leyla (her siblings) RESENT her more than they care to admit and thing are sups awkward between all of them. It’s really sad. Funny that this is the entry right after an Adam mention because coming in at number four are both Adam and Kessa. The two were paired for a date and things got Out of Control.

It really has placed Adam on my heart throb list because little did I FUCKING know that Adam knew how to THROW IT DOWN in the bedroom. The two were caught on camera BANGING THE FUCK OUT OF EACH OTHER, FOUR TIMES IN ONE WEEK. Here I thought Adam was the only sane Aldridge, but it was all a SHAM. HES THE WORST OFFENDER!!!!

NOT ONLY is he a BEAST in the SHEETS, he was spotted EATING KESSA OUT on the SIDE of a BUILDING!!! IM LITERALLY SCREAMING! and to make matters worse, Kessa then left him and got eaten out by, one, Marley Callahan. I SERIOUSLY HOPE EVERYONE GOT TESTED AFTER THIS WEEK because you guys are OUT of your MCFREAKIN MINDS.

I guess you can catch Kessa in first AND second service on Sunday now that she got the most sanctified, purified, holyfied COCK of her life. Amen!

TWO.

Q: MackenziesStolenBrushes asked “Any updates on #JaiMac?”

A: This is a great way to almost end this countdown.

For those of you who don’t know Jamie and Cunty Westwood have decided to amend their troubles and get back together. (Yes, the paintbrushes (that Jamie hid) are back in Cunty’s easel, or whateverthefuck.) This might not be the sensational drama that you were expecting to see at the end of this list but I think it’s a great closer. Jamie and Mac are a shining example of a healthy relationship, and I’ve decided they should ALMOST close out the show.

I do wonder if Jamie found out about the times Mac engaged in MULTIPLE hardcore sexual acts with the #DemonDick himself, Julian Stark. They only ended their fling like two days before #JaiMac got back together, so I’m sure they did? Omg not to gossip, BUT, ok,  I don’t know how to say this politely, but ... there was ass eating involved (on Mac’s end … obviously… I mean, look at him...), and a lot of “I love you’s” were shared between the two. Not to mention cuddling. Late night phone calls, texts, and omg I'm pretty sure they were almost a couple.

Anyways, this might have happened before the event, but to see these two going into PRIDE MONTH a happy couple really is iconic and I thank them for deciding to work things out. Love you two! Kisses!

xx

So I’m sure, you’re wondering who Number 1 is ... 

find out tommorrow.

xo, DP.