#to help me plan for what i need to do and work through coping strategies bc im really hitting a wall. i need to problem solve all

[zeep-xanflorp]

rambling about the rick-unity-wong talk bc i'm upset about it

r: look, it's clear you weren't lying when you said you could've taken over earth because your finger just took over america. i need you to help me fix that.

u: oh, it took that to make you believe me?

r: why should i believe you? you show up unannounced and hijack a state.

u: i called you! multiple times! you ghosted me.

so there are two ways i think you can read rick not believing unity. one is that he believed it was trying anything to stay in proximity to rick even though he was asserting boundaries, or two, he did actually believe it but wanted to deal with the situation on his own or just wanted it gone. either way, he didn't want to be around it.

then there's the part about rick ghosting it. like okay yes. unity tried giving rick a heads up but the fact is that it knew rick wasn't answering its calls. it Knew rick wouldn't know it was there unless it made a big deal about it being there and that's what it did. it literally showed up without permission and assimilated a whole state on rick's home planet, in rick's country. just to get his attention.

w: rick, is that true?

r: she dumped me. why would i answer her calls?

and now we get a blatant explanation for why rick was ignoring unity. i imagine it would've been clear enough anyway without this explanation but rick is still upset from being broken up with. so he decided to ghost it with no explanation, cutting it off entirely.

w: alright, i'm going to commit a cardinal sin in couples therapy here, but rick, i think you're wrong. [..] you had an outer-space lady who was worried for your life and your response was hostile enough to cause a huge problem.

u: thank you.

w: now you're asking her to both forgive you and solve it?

now, the mistake wong makes here is assuming she knows the full story. obviously she's smart and i think she gave her best analysis based on what she knows of the situation, but in her ignorance she fails to listen to rick, her patient.

the whole theme of this episode is rick asserting his boundaries. he doesn't want to see unity because last time he did it ended catastrophically for him. he's not ignoring it out of pettiness but as a defence mechanism. a coping strategy. and when it decided to follow through with its plan of coming to america anyway, destroying the boundaries rick had in place, it made him lash out.

rick also has a tendency to self sabotage when things are going well for him, whether he realises it or not. he abuses morty when they get too close. he made unity party with him instead of doing its duties. his actions push people away, keeping them at arms length.

i believe his boundaries are in place to prevent these episodes of self sabotage. so when they get ignored and discarded, he goes back into that mindset.

and wong, who would be aware of this at least vaguely, blames unity's actions on rick ignoring it which is not fair in the slightest imo.

w: unity, i think the reason rick brought me here is that he doesn't know how to indicate to you he's changed. because he's changing very slowly. but he is.

now this is something i had trouble understanding bc i am a shameful rick apologist at the best of times and couldn't remember what he actually did wrong. his crime in this instance was when he was distracting unity from its work, influencing it to drink and party all the time and avoid its responsibilities. this became too much for it, especially when it saw how rick used the same methods to detach himself from his family.

so it broke up with him, leaving him to spiral into the worst mental state we as the audience have personally seen him in in present day - his suicide attempt. unity doesn't know about that, and i'm guessing wong doesn't either, because all rick needed to say to wong was that their breakup ended horribly for him so being around it is difficult for him and maybe she would've understood more. but no that's too much vulnerability for old man sanchez.

rick has changed since then. i imagine he better understands why unity left him. i also think he knows that it wants the best for him but struggles with accepting that. that's what led to this mess of a situation.

he feels hurt from being abandoned. it feels hurt that rick couldn't understand why it left. and all of this culminated in a messy situation where unity acted drastically to get rick's attention, and rick in his stubbornness and pain refused to accept it.

and so. i think wong spoke too quickly. i think she definitely knows rick's patterns and is right to call him out but made an unfair judgement on only him because even she expects the worst from him. he is changing, but she is encouraging unity not to give him a second chance because he's not there yet. when really that decision should be up to unity.

even though it does take agency at the end. after unity releases america from its hold, we get this absolutely heartbreaking scene between it and rick.

r: i trust you now.

u: that's nice. but i don't trust you.

unity turns rick's lack of trust in it back at him, and it's telling the truth. it feels betrayed by rick's actions in this episode because it only wanted to make sure rick was alright. to it, rick seems to be punishing unity for caring about him.

anyway in conclusion. rick is mentally ill, wong was a little too harsh on him in this episode bc it's a complex situation, and unity will act drastically if it can't get rick's attention. it's unfair to blame it all on rick in this case (even though things are normally his fault) bc while he did act immaturely in response, he wasn't the only one that escalated the conflict so drastically.

this is not a refined analysis. i might fix it later but no promises.

[greyaugustuspoetry]

You are loved. What to do in a crisis and resources on how to get help with mental illness.

If you can, please reblog this so people can be aware of how they can get help.

Hello world! I just thought I’d provide some resources for all the mentally ill out there in this existence. These all worked for me and hopefully they can work for you. If you think you may be suffering from mental illness go to section two and three. If you are currently in crisis, which means you think about or have planned your suicide, go to section one and read through the rest of this post. You are not alone, 792 million people live with mental illness. 264 million live with depression, and 284 million live with anxiety. If you are reading this, it’s a sign to start getting help. If you are struggling, these resources can help you. Just give it a try, it’s worth it. Just remember. You are loved. You are wanted. You are cared for. You are noticed. You deserve to live.

IF YOU ARE IN CRISIS:

Call a suicide hotline!!!!

Hotlines can be helpful at calming you down in a time of high emotion or stress, these people are literally trained to distract you. I’ve called them a few times in my life and it does work I promise. Just try it out.

The U.S number is 988

If you don’t live in the U.S, follow this link to find your countries hotline. Hotlines. Find it on the site and give it a call. Here are some additional hotlines and resource specific help.

Directory of international mental health helplines

A second list of global hotlines

Crisis hotlines for teens and youth

LGBT crisis support

Substance abuse crisis support

Postpartum support

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233

National child abuse hotline

Literally just a list of hotlines for everything

Either while you are on the phone with a hotline or after, send your location to a friend or family member so that someone can come get you or check on you. If that is not an option you can ask the hotline to send someone to come get you. DO NOT. I REPEAT. DO NOT. Stay by yourself in a time of need or crisis. The longer you are alone the more dangerous the situation can become. You are not a burden if you ask someone you love for help, that is what they are there for. Most likely you will be collected by emergency services and they will go from there.

IF YOU HAVE ALREADY TAKEN AN ACTION TO KILL YOURSELF DO THE FOLLOWING:

Call 911 if you are in the U.S

If you are not in the U.S call your countries emergency number. Here is a list of countries numbers:

List of emergency telephone numbers

If you are at home with family members go to your family and let them know what happened. Even if they are asleep, wake someone up if you have to. Do this AFTER you have contacted emergency services .

If you are on a college campus, contact your RA or your campus crisis line AFTER you have contact emergency services.

If you are by yourself, WAIT FOR EMERGENCY SERVICES TO ARRIVE. Do not move from your location.

In crisis and after you need to make a safety plan. Safety plans reduce risk of future harm by planning out actions that you can do yourself to reduce emotional stress. Here’s how:

Safety Plan

After crisis assistance:

After crisis assistance can include therapy and psychiatry. I will provide thinks for find both of these things. If you are not currently in crisis but you are experiencing symptoms of mental illness, please make an appointment with one of these assistances. Below there are additional resources for mental health that can also be used as a first step.

Therapists

International therapy directory

Psychiatrists

American Psychiatric Association

How to find a psychiatrist and other therapists

U.S Government resources

National hotline for resources

General mental health resources

GLOBAL mental health resources

Coping strategies:

Coping strategies are how you individually can cope and process emotions, thoughts, and feelings. They can be hobbies or things like journaling or writing or just something as simple as going on a walk. I will give links to lists of coping strategies that might help you.

Coping with anxiety

Self-harm coping strategies

Coping skills for depression

How to cope with suicidal thoughts

35 coping skills to try

Self- help techniques for mental illness

100 coping strategies for all things

[ed-recovery-affirmations]

idk if ur gonna see this or anything but i fully relapsed pretty bad into my ed about two months ago. I've had god knows how many recoveries and relapses and I always seem to end up back in. i want out this time and i want out for good, i don't want to spend the rest of my life doing this. any advice?

Hi there, anon! I did see this. I get to everything in my askbox eventually, if it's something I'm able to put on my blog.

I'm sorry to hear you've been having so much trouble staying well. I don't know exactly what you've tried so far, but here's the advice I can give:

Are you surrounded by supportive people? If you can, find friends you trust to confide in about the issues you've been having. Think about what they can do to be supportive, whether it be reminding you to be soft about your body image or reminding you how they hope you are healthy and eating well. We all need to learn to love ourselves, but outside support from the right people can give us a big, big boost when we find ourselves needing it most. Building a support system also gives you people to reach out to when you're struggling. That can be hard and scary, but it can also be a resource.

Speaking of resources, is therapy open to you? I don't know if you're able to access therapeutic resources, but a therapist might be able to help you develop coping mechanisms for the issues you might be struggling with that keep you coming back to your ED. I'm also going to preface this next statement by saying that I am not an expert on DBT, and that what I'm going to tell you next is just something I heard during a brief overview of DBT during a training we had at work recently. However, apparently a big premise in DBT is about learning coping strategies to get through those moments of crisis we experience without resorting to the destructive impulses we may have. "Whatever you do, don't make it WORSE" is an excellent thing to remember in crisis. Sometimes you can just...do nothing, and ride out the feeling until it passes, and then work through it later. Or use a coping strategy. Once you've practiced that, maybe you can learn positive responses to your moments of crisis to help you deal with them productively. That way you may learn to better resist urges to relapse - or to pull yourself out of a lapse before it becomes a full relapse. (Be honest but kind to yourself when doing this - shame may only make the lapse worse! Those of us with EDs are often prone to using shame as a motivator, which can sometimes work well in the short term but is terrible for us in the long term.)

It's hard for me to give specific advice without knowing what your ED is like, but perhaps you can use timed reminders to hold yourself accountable to consistently practicing self care before, during, and after eating. Especially when you're going places like - out to a restaurant with friends and family, event where surprise food might be offered, holiday party, etc. Self-care can be whatever works for you - writing down positive affirmations, meditating, taking a long hot bath, taking a little walk and moving your body, gently reminding the bully in your head that what they're saying to you is not helpful to you in the long run, doing some stretches, creating some art...literally whatever self-care looks like for you, but create a self-care regimen around eating properly. Create a self-care regimen for lapses, too. Hopefully you won't need it, but understand that self-care means investing in resources and safety nets for yourself in the event that you might have a hard time, rather than punishing yourself by letting yourself fail. Think about it in advance so that you are not struggling to come up with a self-care plan when you're already in crisis: what are you going to need in order to help gently pull yourself out of a lapse? Failing is human and struggling is common in eating disorders. Learning to be kind to yourself when you fail and growing from your mistakes is a huge part of ED recovery, since we tend to be big self-punishers.

Hope this helps! You can tell me a little more about your ED for more specific advice if you want to, but you don't have to. I hope you find your way back to your own healing path, anon. <3

[pantwolf]

I went to my uni's library yesterday after class to study. I'm quite behind this week! My initial plan was "after class, go study." Easy. Simple. Right?

Nope! Get to the library and immediately shut down. I know the things that I need to do, but suddenly, I can't think of ANY of it. My body refuses to start, and I end up in a state of listlessness.

After some "debugging," I came to these observations:

1) I was probably dissociating from the stress of everything I had to do. I couldn't tell (I felt fine), but the lack of cooperation from my body suggests I was struggling to cope.

2) I had too much to do. Too much on the mind. Again, I knew what I had to do! But when it came to it, my working memory was full, the gears were clogged up, and I couldn't begin to untangle the web of choosing what to do first.

Here are a few solutions I came to:

1) If it isn't working, don't punish yourself by staying there in a stupor. Get up. Move. Do something else, but not something dissociative like social media, games, or drugs. Keep it cognitively relaxed, incorporate movement if you can.

2) talk to someone. My uni has "peer listening," which isn't therapy, but it's a walk-in service where you can talk to a peer about anything! I did this (terrifying, for the social anxious among us), and it helped quite a bit. We shared common struggles with academics, and we exchanged solutions, tips, and ideas. It was reassuring, and I found new strategies through them that I'm going to implement!

3) Planning. I've never been one to adhere to hard schedules. My Google calendar has old recurring events that haven't been relevant for years. I don't even bother anymore. BUT. It turns out that just saying "I'm gonna do X thing at Y time on Z day" isn't enough for me.

3 a) Planning doesn't just have to be "this is the time I will do studying." That's vague and leaves too much to interpretation, which can lead to overwhelm and paralysis. Break it down further. Don't schedule a vague "study" block, schedule blocks for "Biology Homework 3" and "Psychology paper: rough draft." Be specific with what that time is for to reduce ambiguity and eliminate the time spent untangling your thoughts!

3 b) Planning should also include preparation. Will you need notes? Do you need to watch a lecture video? Take a quiz? Gather all of the supplies you need and organize it in a folder. If it's digital work, even better! Put a folder on your desktop and fill it with notes and list any URLs you might need to visit in a word document so you can click and go. Preparation increases your ACCESSIBILITY; it is a powerful buff!

4) Focus on "I will work on" instead of "I will complete." An outcome-focused mindset is honestly really debilitating for me... It manifests as perfectionism and anxiety. Reframing can be difficult, but it's really important that, at least during planning, you just commit to working on it. If it can't be finished during that time, it's okay! You still worked on it, which means you completed your OBLIGATION. This means you still accomplished your goal, which means you won't be hit with a wave of shame of failure. Plus, cultivating a healthier mindset around work means you can clear space to be proactive.

[bi-bard]

Come and Save Me from It - Malcolm Bright Imagine [Prodigal Son]

Title: Come and Save Me from It

Pairing: Malcolm Bright X Reader

Based On: Sedated

Word Count: 431 words

Warning(s): unhealthy coping strategy

Summary: Malcolm had grown used to handling everything on his own. But with (Y/n) that became more of a choice and less of a requirement. But maybe finding that one person to attach to could cause a new selection of unhealthy behaviors.

Author's Note: I have truly missed writing for this man. Also, this so short and I'm sorry.

HOZIER [2014] WRITING CHALLENGE MASTERLIST

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It wasn't healthy.

Both of them knew that.

Healthy relationships needed more than an escape from pain to make a sturdy foundation.

What (Y/n) and Malcolm were doing was far closer to self-medicating than it was to dating.

But neither one of them cared. Neither one of them wanted to even acknowledge the possibility.

Malcolm had enough to focus on. With all his dad had done. With all of the flashbacks and nightmares that followed him from day to day, he didn't want to chance the possibility of tainting the one good thing that he had.

(Y/n) had acknowledged it once. But that was enough for them to shake their head and avoid the thought altogether. They had enough weight sitting on their shoulders. They didn't need any additional guilt. They were scared that their collarbones would start to crack if they did.

The first time either one of them indulged in the behavior was an accident.

Neither one is sure how it happened, but they had started talking about their pasts. It was a long, awkward conversation. Pieces were clearly left out, but neither one of them seemed to care.

Malcolm kissed (Y/n) first.

Not because he had some grand plan to use trauma as an excuse to kiss the person that he had developed feelings for. Instead, it was an action that surprised him as much as it had surprised (Y/n).

It almost felt instinctual. Like they had done it all before. Muscle memory for a skill neither had practiced.

After that, they found each other again and again.

Like going back for another fix. Silence the thoughts, calm the body, and escape the feelings. It all worked so perfectly for them.

Maybe it was unhealthy.

Maybe it would have been better for each of them to pursue real, professional help.

Maybe they should've known better.

Maybe they both knew that in the back of their minds.

But it was good.

For all of the unhealthiness and avoidant behavior, it was good.

Malcolm hadn't known peace better than the times that he could wake up with his face tucked into the crook of his neck. He could hold them a little bit tighter, hide for a little while longer. That was enough for him at night.

(Y/n) grew to need the feeling of being held. Wanted, needed. It was enough to make the pain in their chest stop for a while. The feeling of being held was enough to get them through the night.

In the end, all that mattered to them was the feeling of their personal sedation.

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[boliv-jenta]

I don't really know if this is classes as an AU or if it's counted as Joel x reader as nothing major happens between them.

I do know there is swearing and mild spoilers for The Last of Us hotel level. I haven't finished it yet so I made some of it up. I also know that @misspearly1 is to blame for my current Joel Miller feels.

More of Us

"It's a what?" Ruby the proud owner of the desk next to yours asked.

"A zombie running app. It motivates you with a zombie apocalypse survival story." Mark explained from his desk across from the two of you.

"I don't think that would work with me. I'd rather be taken by the hoard than break a sweat. What do you think?" Ruby aimed at you.

"Huh?" You pulled your head away from your work for a second.

"A running app that motivates you with a zombie survival story. You mentioned you were doing a new workout. What do you think?" She repeated.

"I think it could work. Everyone reacts differently to motivation." You certainly did. Turning your attention back to the screen, you typed away, those Phallicyte Numbers weren't going to get themselves together. Every pain in the ass account was referred to as the Phallicyte Numbers. It was much more fun to think of the looming deadlines as a time crunch before a hot vampire turned you. The threat of impending death shouldn't be an excuse not to turn in your work on time, you are a professional after all.

Clocking out for the day, you headed home. The weather was getting colder, the cosy lining of your coat kept your body warm but the cold wind bit at your hands and ears. Your winter accessories were still tucked away at home, a mistake you wouldn't make tomorrow.

A short train ride later and you finally walking through your front door. Kicking off your shoes you wriggled your toes gratefully. The office had a relaxed dress code so you always wore comfortable shoes, no matter how comfy they were they just couldn't compare to the freedom of walking around in just your socks or even better bare feet. The office dress code suited you well. There was no pressure to dress up, no hassle of finding clothes for your frame. Before your weight loss that was a nightmare. There was no pressure to wear make up, something that didn't figure very highly in your priorities when getting ready of a morning. You hair could just be left loose or simple tied back. Sometimes you think about making an effort, it'd be nice to look like one of those put together women. It did feel good when you dresses up a little for parties. That just wasn't day to day you. You didn't put a lot stock in your appearance. Unlike one of your bosses who always had to comment on your weight loss. A tight smile and a polite 'thank you' suppressed the urge to educate her that you shouldn't talk about someone weight so much. You hadn't lost weight for insincere compliments. It had been a by product of getting emotionally healthy. Fixing the part of you that dove into junk food every time something upset you. Or something needed to be celebrated. Or a day that ended in 'Y'. Having someone remind you of the struggle, was not helpful in the least. Shrugging it off, you get on with your evening plans. Showering, slipping into some comfy clothes then enjoying some sushi before your date with a tall, dark handsome man.

Popping the last Katsu chicken California roll in your mouth, you turned on the PlayStation ready for your date.

"Hi, Joel." You sighed. There he was, your date for the night. All broad shoulders, covered in plaid. He was waiting patiently in the water logged locker room you had left him in. Since you finally got over your fear of being terrified or emotionally gutted by this game, Joel had definitely won your heart. His gruff, handsome exterior that clearly held a heart of gold, had you swooning. Like your Max Phillips coping strategy in work, Joel had become your go to to get through difficult workouts. How would you be able to have his back against a Bloater if you couldn't do forty seconds of lunges? Who would help him protect Ellie if you got injured because you skipped your stretching routine? If you keep to your workouts and focus on getting yourself healthy all round, you could eventually turn your attention to getting a Joel of your own. Hopefully you wouldn't get that one killed. Repeatedly.

"Fuck." Those Stalker were creepy. You took care of them pretty easily though. There was no sign of the Bloater that you read to expect. You tried the secure door. Nothing. Ah, the generator wasn't on. Running back down you, well Joel, started it. The noise of Stalker sounded behind him. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." Deciding to run for it you maneuvered Joel back up the ramp, down the corridors and to the secure door, which thankfully opened this time. Once he was safely on the other side you breathed a sigh of relief. Then another sigh, a longer one as you felt your body getting heavy. You must have over done your morning workout, suddenly you were so tired. Once you save up, you better go straight to bed. The tiredness over took you before you could even press X.

The sun blazed through your eyelids as your consciousness drifted back in. Shit, had you really fell asleep on the sofa and slept until the sun was high in the sky? Blinking your eyes open the first thing you noticed was the sun was indeed high in the sky. You saw it through the open window, the window that most definitely was not yours. The wooden frame was rotted, the glass pane was smashed. The wallpaper around it was aged and peeled. Sitting up on the bare mattress you took in the rest of the room. It looked incredibly familiar. Identical to the one you/Joel had just searched with Ellie. Wow. This dream was vivid as hell. Standing, you found out just how vivid. The debris under your feet dug in so sharply, it brought you down to your knees, your head hitting the bedside table on the way down, pain bloomed on your temple.

"Fuck. It this some sort of side effect of a prolonged high protein diet? Trippy as hell dreams?" You mutter pulling yourself up. Watching where you step you manage to get out of the room. The hallway floor is a little clearer, allowing you to walk down it safely. Wait, is there such a thing as safely in a vivid, apparently painful, Last of Us dream? Grabbing a nearby plank of wood, you pushed on, more cautiously this time. The whole place was silent, it was eerie, preferable to the sound of Clickers, you supposed. Peeking around a corner you found an old bar, there was a hole in the floor between it and you. If you shimmy across, the bar would be a great place to hide. You weren't at all keen on this dream. Making your way around the bar you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. The throbbing in your temple was from a two inch gash. "Not keen at all." You whispered to yourself as you curled in a ball, clutching your knees to your chest. Concentrating on taking slow, deep breaths, you willed yourself to wake up. Too busy thinking about your breathing and wanting to go home, you didn't notice the sound until in was right on the other side of the bar. Footsteps. Light but definitely there. Would it be better to stay in your hiding place and hope they pass or attack them while the element of surprise was on your side? Who were you kidding? Even with surprise on your side, and six months of daily HIIT workouts, you were no Joel. You doubted you had the strength to land a solid punch, nevermind crush someone's skull. The sound retreated from your end of the bar. It moved away toward the opening of the U-shaped bar. 'Don't turn this way.' You prayed. They did. Two green eyes meet yours, as the auburn hair teen poked her head around the bar. She was startled for a second before regaining her wits and promptly hurling a bottle at you. Luckily, it missed but Ellie was already grabbing another one from behind the bar.

"Wait." Your threw your arms up in front of your face. When she listened you lowered them. "I'm not going to hurt you. I don't know how I got here."

Setting her jaw, she looked you over. A battered hoodie and ragged sweat pants clothed you. There were no shoes on your feet and a cut to your forehead.

"They attacked you too?" She asked. The hunters, they just attacked them. They attack and rob people. That explained your lack of shoes, any personal items and the head injury.

"Yes." Man, this dream was truly weird, you were so caught up in it. You wanted her to trust you, to befriend you. You moved to stand.

She raised her next bottle, primed to throw it. "That doesn't make us friends."

"Yeah, I get that. You shouldn't trust anyone. Maybe just don't kill me. Please?" Lowering the bottle she moved away, allowing you to stand and move out from behind the bar. An uneasy truce fell between you until shots ran out below. Pulling her down with you ducked behind a coffee table. A few more shots rang out before everything went silent.

"Joel!" She exclaimed before scrambling to her feet and dashing out of the room. You winced as she shuffled across the ledge a bit too fast for your liking. Slower you followed her across. Catching up to her in the hallway, the sound of a struggle caught your attention. Running a head you spotted Joel down below. He was fighting some asshole. The Asshole go the upper hand, dunking Joel's head under the surface of a large puddle. The next thing you knew there was a freshly discharged gun in your hand. A large, warm hand covered you own to remove the weapon.

"Who are you? Where did you come from?" He questioned harshly.

"Joel! Take it easy, she saved your life!" Ellie urged.

"That don't mean nothing. It could just be a ploy to get on our good sides." He hissed at her.

"Joel!" She whined.

"He's right. It's a smart plan. Gain the trust of the strong man for protection. Or lull him into a false sense of security. Easier to kill him while he's not expecting it than in a head on fight." You sounded far away and you were. Your thoughts were still in the moment that you pulled the trigger. The gun so close to the man's head that his brains splattered up your arm. The crimson mess was now soaking into the sleeves of your favourite hoodie. Launching yourself forward to your knees, you drove into the water, scrubbing violently at the brain matter.

"Hey. Hey!" Joel's hand came to guide you back out of the water, coming to rest on an wooden crate. "First kill?"

You nodded. "How did you get here?"

"I don't know. I woke up here." You decided a version of the truth would be best.

"Well, you could head out of here with us." Your heart swelled at his offer. Joel was a good man but he wasn't stupid or nieve. Leaving you behind would be the smarter choice. "You don't get a weapon, you stay where I can see you. If you fall behind or get yourself in trouble, that's on you. Ellie is my priority. I could use a second set of eyes as we cross the city." There it was, the practicality that had kept this man alive for this long.

"Thank you." You stood a little wobbly on your feet, you legs gave way before you all but fell into Joel's strong arms. Blushing you righted yourself buy pushing of his firm chest.

"You saved his life, he should be thanking you." Ellie pointed out.

"Thank you." Joel muttered moving his hands from your sides, where they had been firmly resting. "Let's head upstairs. Grab what supplies we can then make out way out." Joel was already walking ahead of you, a sight you were more familiar with, when he tossed the instructions over his shoulder. Thankfully, there was a pair of shoes in a ransacked pile of clothes. They were a size too big but there were high tops with a velco strap so you tied them tight and hopes for the best. Once Joel was satisfied with his supplies he moved on. Ellie grinned at you as you both followed behind him. "I'm Ellie."

Smiling back, you gave her your name.

"The grumpy one is Joel." She smirked.

"Hey, you live though a few more years of this and see how unbeat you are." You laughed in Joel's defense.

You couldn't see it but a small smile spread across Joel's face. It pushed at the blush on his cheeks from having his hands on you. It'll been a long time since he'd lay his hands gently on a beautiful woman. He and Tess were all talk, they'd never taken anything further. Neither of them were actually interested in each other that way. Their banter just passed the time. Tess. He pushed the though of her away and vaulted out onto the scaffolding outside the window.

At both you and Ellie cleared the window. Joel hushed you. "Shit. Stay down." Crouching, you made your way over to where Joel was looking out. Hunters. Half a dozen or more gathered below you.

Joel slipped a rifle off of his shoulder. "Here." He handed it to Ellie who's face lit up. "She moves shoot her." He nodded his head towards you, her face fell but she aimed the rifle at you anyway.

"Wouldn't she be better covering you? You could tie me up." Joel's jaw twitched at that. "Or I could come with you?" Why the hell were you offering that? This dream was feeling increasingly real by the moment. Everything in you says to run, to hide but what good would that do? You were stuck here in this nightmare, you might as well go along with it.

Joel thought it over. "Fine. Ellie you can cover me. You can come down with me. You hide behind the barrier and keep a lookout for Ellie. You don't get a gun and you don't follow me. Clear?"

When you nodded he moved over to Ellie. As he taught her how to hold the rifle, you thought about what you knew of their story. About Joel losing his daughter, about Ellie growing up in this terrifying world, about the bond that they were forming. Your heart swelled as you watch Joel gently move her into position. For a moment you wished that when you left here you could take them with you, that they could have a safe, comfortable life together.

Shouting from below reminded you just how far from that their lives were. Joel moved with a silence that seemed impossible given his muscular build. Fortunately, you were able to match his stealth and made it down to behind the barriers without a sound. Joel took another look over the barricade, ducking back down to sit on his haunches, he rubbed his hand down his face. "Can you shoot?"

"Ye-yes." A BB gun. When you were a kid. An expert achievement for every gun on Fortnite has to count for something right? The splash of gore from the man's head in the hotel flashed across your eyes. Fuck. You forced your voice to come out strong and steady. "Yes. I can."

"If we don't take them out we're not getting passed. I'm going to throw a bomb, take out as many as I can. After that we take out any that come running." Taking a bomb from his backpack, he looked you straight in the eyes. There was a whole silent exchange, a promise and a pray before he threw the bomb. Once he did, chaos ensued. The explosion rained debris and flesh down on you. When it cleared you could see six hunters down. Unfortunately, there were at least six more headed your way. Three moved in a tight formation to check out the damage. Once you had a clear line of sight both you and Joel opened fire. You fired at least three shots into the man in front of you. Willing him to go down with each one. Joel had clipped the guy it the middle causing him to jerk backwards, his gun clattering to the pavement as he did. Joel put another two rounds in the man on the right, dropping him. Rifle shot whistled passed you, driving into the concrete barrier behind you. Both you and Joel shot in the direction of the shooter. As you both emptied your clips, the man Joel had clipped managed to get his hands on his gun again. He was practically on top of you before Joel could swing his shot gun off his shoulder. As the man raised his gun, setting his sight firmly on you, half his head exploded like a water balloon, his corpse hit the floor like a sack of potatoes. Ellie gave a triumphant 'Yes!' before turning the rifle back to the shooter on the building ahead. By now Joel had reloaded. As your shaking fingers tried to reload your gun, Joel and Ellie took out the last of the hunters. After a long while of silence Joel scooped the gun from your hand. His calloused fingers skimming your soft skin. "Here." He reloaded the firearm before handing it back.

"Thanks." You smiled warily at him. This dream was not fun at all. You much preferred the one where you were on a beautiful beach. Toes in the sand and a book in your hands, while Javi Gutierrez rubbed suncream into your back. Looking up at Joel though, his handsome face looking younger with a smile on it telling you 'you're welcome', there were some perks to it. Joel offered you his hand, pulling you to your feet as Ellie approached.

"You okay, kid?" Joel asked.

"Yep. Told you I should have a gun!" She beamed. "That bastard didn't see it coming." Joel frowned at her, his lips looked inviting full like that. "What? It was him or us."

Rolling his eyes he headed to the next building. Stepping out from behind the barrier he was immediately knocked to the ground by a Stalker. It growled like a rapid dog as it set on him. Joel had been quick enough to turn on his back so he held the thing at bay while it tried to rip him apart. You didn't trust your aim at this close a distance. It would be so easy to hit Joel by accident.

"Fuck!" You screamed lowering the gun and throwing yourself at the creature. Knocking it off Joel you tumbled into a heap with it. Now it was trying to rip you to pieces but at least Joel was a better shot. He blew it's head clean off. It's body slumped down on to you as you fought the urge to throw up. Joel kicked it off before helping you up. After making sure it was clear, you all headed into the nearest building. On the top floor there was a pretty secure room. The windows and doors were still intact. Only one exit. Nice and defendable.

"We'll stay here for the night. You two can sleep first. I'll keep watch." Joel finished up securing the door.

Ellie happily lay on what remained of a sofa. Soon she was fast asleep. You and Joel sat next to each other in a couple of chair you'd straightened up from the floor.

"You not tired?" He asked eventually.

"I am. I guess I'm still running on adrenaline. Big day and all." Your smile small and bright, tugged at his heart. There was something about you he was drawn to. Not just your beauty, there was something else. You had this air about you, as if you were untouched by this world. Even so you had jumped in to save his ass, twice. It was obviously difficult for you but you'd done it. Maybe he was going soft in his old age. He was already protecting the kid with all his worth. The way she'd called for him when he fell down the elevator shaft, the tone in her voice, it reminded him of Sarah. The panic that was there when she was worried about him. Ellie cared for him like Sarah had. Now he was sitting here, thinking about pushing the hair back that had fallen out of your hair tie. He thought about how smooth your skin would be as his finger skimmed it, how soft your lips would be against his.

"Thank you for letting me come with you." Your quiet voice broke him from his thoughts.

"You're welcome." He replied.

"Why did you? Wouldn't it have been safer to leave me?" You probably didn't want to know the answer to that question but it came out anyway.

"Probably. Honestly? I don't know. Maybe I'm going soft in my old age. Or crazy, I saw a beautiful woman and all sense left me." It had been so long since he felt able to be open and honest, the words just came flowing from him. "Why did you risk your life to help me?"

"I don't know. I saw a handsome man and all sense left me." He laughed at that. You chuckled with him before moving closer and laying your head on his shoulder. Both of you revelled in the contact. The adrenaline drained from you as sleep pulled you under.

Awaking with a start you found yourself back home. The TV was off. The PlayStation controlled discarded by your side. The house was dark save for the floor lamp across the room. The dream that had been so vivid quickly began to fade. Grabbing the takeout contains you went to throw them in the trash only to realise it was full. "Damn."

Pulling the bag out of the can you flicked on the porch light before taking the bag outside. Dumping the bag in the trash you made your way back around the house. A noise ahead of you caught your attention. It was in the shadows where the lights on the back and side of the house didn't quite overlap. Keeping your breathing even you tried to fight the panic flaming up your spine. Edging closer you tried to make out what was there. The life was nearly scared out of you when next door's cat came flying out, screeching as it went.

"For fuck's sake cat!" You shook your head at your own stupidity. What were you expecting? A Clicker? Rounding the corner of the house you entered the back yard. You were so on edge you thought you saw something moving in the shadows. As you focus on it, trying to make the outline clearer a shriek rang in your ear. Next to you, was a Stalker. It was cover in blood, it's teeth clashed together as it bit at the air like a rabid dog. Sheer terror had you rooted to the spot. You heart leapt as an arrow sunk into it's head, making all the way through to the other side before the horrid thing crumbled to the floor. Then the shadows came flying at you. Joel emerged into the light with Ellie close behind him.

"Run!" He called as the shadows behind him groaned.

Tags @kirsteng42 @babydarkstar @prolix-yuy @thegreenkid @hquinzelle @fangirl-316 @gracie7209 @jedifarmerr @doommommy @scorpio-marionette @sturkillerbase @harriedandharassed @aynsleywalker @mswarriorbabe80 @quica-quica-quica @rise-my-angel @adancedivasmom

[alex-the-moss]

Two days ago I’ve posted my analysis of the children in need special and changes regarding Davros character.

Now I feel the need to talk about what’s going to happen next. Me, because there aren’t a lot of artists actively interested in the "Davros audio-s" and at least half of my blog relies on said prequels.

First of all, I’m not sure if there’s a point in writing a letter to the bosses of DW, but I’m considering it. Maybe a petition could also change something, but I have no experiences organising those. If you are concerned about what’s happened to the iconic villain of Doctor Who your suggestions are more than welcomed! If you know or follow any other people who are actively concerned about this please let me know pls help

Second, I want to focus on how we can deal with the changes emotionally and what’s going to happen to the blog. The best way to keep the character alive is for their fans to stick together. So I’m going to be active online and I encourage you to do the same and be chatty. It will at least be fun if we’re in this together. One of the few good things about this situation is that our fandom has the rule saying we can that choose our own canon and after "the timeless child" people have already started applying it not only to the audio dramas and books but also to the filmed series. And I suggest we just do the same for the Davros retcon. Additionally fiction is not a real life, so some self-induced neglect of reality or self-deceiving won’t harm anyone nor anything. We can convince ourselves those changes have never occurred. Davros doesn’t appear in the show that often but when the new "Davros" does we can use our imagination (and a bit of my drawing skills🌚👌) to perceive him like he is the Davros we know. Because, you know, our minds are only ours to operate. And I’ll continue posting pics of characters we love as usual.

Next I’d like to recommend an additional coping strategy, which is fanfiction. Note: I’m not a native speaker of English language, so I can’t review on the use of language in fanfiction. And I know very well how poor use of words and grammar ruins the experience. So if English is your first language - take my advice with caution)) I present you the one and only fanfiction at least of those I found dedicated to the kaled nation: Damnatio Memoriae series by Mary Pseud + some other works of the same author.

This series was written after the "Davros" audio drama have been released but before the "I, Davros" was. The Author has strange attitude to sex, but if you’re able to choose for yourself you can find nice stories that have nothing to do with it (also sex scenes I’ve read were good). The Author has some interesting ideas and from the very beginning you feel like they’re onto something. It’s also pretty obvious how much Author respects the original universe and how they cherish each character they get to work with. And they have some great non-au fanfiction!

I used to be too insecure to recommend it to you, but now, no matter how strange and cringy stories of the series may seem from time to time, they feel much more home-like than the "original universe”. And Davros’ trauma is treated there with much more respect than it is by official writers, even tho Davros eventually "gets his legs back". Also I’m planning to do fan-illustrations for some of those fanfics, so you might want to know what’s going on there)

I advise you to give it a try because it’s an au fanfiction, and thanks to some of its stories, viewing the mini episode through the lense of this au can be useful for easing the emotional damage!

Take care everyone🩵

[justepilepsy]

I hate having petit mal seizures because I have no memory of them happening and it makes talking about my medication really hard. People often don’t notice them unless I happen to be talking directly to someone and it’s scary. I’m constantly worried since my medication is such a low dose that I may have a break through seizure and not even know it. I’m scared because what if I have one while driving and run a red light? When I bring up this concern my doctor just kinda brushes me off.

Hi Anon, It absolutely is frustrating to experience memory issues. Especially related to seizures and when you don't know when they're happening.

I must admit though, this ask had me a tad bit horrified, not just at your doctor's dismissive behaviour, but also:

In most states/countries in the world people who experience seizures are NOT ALLOWED TO DRIVE

It varies slightly from country to country, but the essential crux of the matter is, unless you have been seizure free for a certain amount of time (oftentimes 6 months to a year, sometimes several years, again depending on your country) or if your seizures ONLY appear while asleep - driving should not even be a thing your are permitted to do!

Please, please, PLEASE:

Since you experience petit mal seizures with absence, do not drive. Don't drive. It's not safe. It's dangerous! For yourself and everyone else.

Figure out your countries' legislation in relation to epilepsy, seizures and driving. This will give you an indication what must happen for you to be allowed to drive again.

I would suggest, if you can, possibly having a look around for a different Neurologist. It's important to have a good patient-doctor relationship when working long-term on the right treatment/medication plan for any condition. This is not to undermine their skill or ability, but clearly they have not been able to pick up on your distress, nor have they felt the need to inform you, that you should not be driving when you are still experiencing seizures.

If you are in any type of education, institution etc (College, School, Work), it may be worth figuring out if your country has any benefits or if the institution provies any support measures for disabled people.

Aside from these very urgent and rather practical tips, dear anon, I hope you are safe and the memory issues are certainly an issue to deal with. It may be worth figuring out coping strategies for the time being, e.g. timers, alerts, using a digital assistant to set reminders that will reach you, etc.

Personally I like looking up strategies tailored towards people with ADHD or who are on the Autism Spectrum, as I find them often helpful as well. There is a lot of small tips and tricks and strategies on how to at least lessen the distress caused by memory issues.

Stay safe and take care! I believe in you

[fairycosmos]

i finally have all the drugs i needed to kill myself and i can't wait until im free. i know ods don't work unless it's hard drugs so i went through so much to get them but finally i did and i'm so ready. it's heartbreaking to me that i did try so hard but nothing got better or bearable even. i wish everyone had a way out like i do because i know suicide is hard to get right. i hope i find peace

hey, i'm really sorry to hear that you're in such a bad place. i know that someone spewing platitudes at you when you're feeling so intensely depressed / suicidal can often feel invalidating, so i don't want to do that, but i do want to let you know that it's ok to be exhausted and that you don't have to face these emotions alone.

i understand that you've put a lot into planning this and that you've been in a lot of pain for a very long time, but i get the feeling that you sending this message this is a form of reaching out in some way, and i think you should try to listen to that part of you a little more. you don't have to act on these thoughts just because they are present. it's a lot easier said than done, and don't want to minimise what you're dealing with at all, because i know it's hell. but there are other options, even if your suicidal brain has you convinced you are backed into a corner right now. you are so worth getting the help you need. your life is so much more than this moment. please consider safe proofing your environment + reaching out to the authorities or a loved one, or at least remain open to the idea of doing so while you get through this episode bit by bit. even if you have to go against all current instinct, know that nothing is set in stone and this isn't something you are obligated to do in order to feel better.

there are a number of paths you can take to reach that outcome, they just take a little more time, which i know is frustrating and tiring but the point is that peace can exist here too. please call a hotline, an ambulance, your doctor or a friend/family member if you feel like you are at risk of harming yourself. you're not in the right headspace to be making any long-term decision. you can't trust the information your mind is feeding you at the moment, and talking through what you're experiencing right now with a professional who can set a crisis plan in place for you and give you the tools you need to find inner stability will prove that. i know it's all much more complex than simply making a phone call, and i'm not saying any of this is easy or a cure-all, i'm just saying that you can make it to tomorrow. that's all you have to worry about in this moment, and that is more than good enough. i am really sorry things have been so unimaginably difficult for you. the exhaustion is understand bale. you deserve to be loved, validated and heard and it's extremely unfair that you've had to fight so hard without that support. i really hope you're able to take some of this on board eventually and that you can find it in you to put your own health first, even if you don't want to. i'm sending you so much love. please reach out. please stick around. it's all ever-changing anyway. x

suicide hotlines / coping strategies 1 / coping strategies 2 / coping strategies 3

[zaharya]

Hey so you have ADHD and are in higher education, do you have any advice for an ADHD/autistic person going into college who struggles with motivation and studying? Also I figure it's worth a shot to ask but do you have any advice for handling autistic burnout caused overstimulation while not failing classes? Sorry if this is out of the blue but I'm really nervous and figured I'd ask

Phew, that's a rather big question, and I'm not sure it can be so easily answered 😅 These things depend heavily on your circumstances as well as individual factors, which obviously I know nothing about in your case. I also don't know that much about ASD, I'm afraid; certainly not enough to feel comfortable giving advice for it (sorry 😕).

I suppose I could give you the usual (and fundamentally true) speech about including buffer-times in your study schedules [ADHD time-tax; however long you estimate a task to take, multiply that by 3 or 4 (ideally 4 in the beginning), and that's how much time you actually plan for the task], setting partial deadlines with professors and supervisors, breaking down big assignments into small, manageable steps, make sure you get enough sleep, take breaks while studying etc. But I'm assuming you know all that.

Generally speaking, these struggles with motivation and studying with ADHD aren't usually very straightforward to combat. What works and what doesn't is highly individual; for example, in my case medication is an important factor, while that hardly matters for other people. I hate saying it but it's mostly something you have to figure out for yourself by trial and error. On top of that, most useful ADHD coping strategies tend to work for a while, then stop working, and at some point they suddenly work again. Don't dismay if a strategy that worked for you (idk, let's say Pomodoro timers) suddenly doesn't work anymore! Just switch to a different strategy for a while and try it again after a few weeks – at some point your brain will perceive it as new and shiny again, and it'll be helpful again. Personally, I just permanently cycle through strategies 😅

The few strategies that (more or less) continuously helped me throughout my uni career are almost exclusively things that involve other people somehow. For example body doubling to stay focused a little better, or having another person talk at when plan my assignments because talking it through helps me get my thoughts straight. So, I suppose my best advice is to build a solid support system; whether that consists of people you study with or other friends or family. Whoever you're comfortable with, actively seek support when you need it, even if that support is in passive form like just sitting with you while you work (aka body doubling). Also, if motivation is a problem, there's no shame in giving yourself external incentives! Reward yourself! The idea that motivation must be intrinsic is simply not viable for neurodivergents. We're just not wired that way, and that's fine; extrinsic motivation is just as well.

Otherwise, I'd recommend looking into what accommodations are available at your uni; more time on tests or extendable deadlines can make a big difference! Also, and I know that's really hard, if you notice that you're slipping in a course, contact your professor sooner rather than later. Perhaps I am overly optimistic, but in my experience, most profs are understanding enough and happy to help if you communicate openly with them (before the deadline is two days away). Of course, that won't always be possible, and sometimes you'll think "shit now it's already too late" – it's still better to message them immediately than after three days of berating yourself, which helps nobody.

... well that got longer than expected, I apologise 🙈 I wish I had a better answer for you, but I'm afraid my best advice is really just to find other neurodivergent people to connect with, for mutual support. Whether IRL or online, a solid support community can make a huge difference. (I took the liberty of peeking at your blog and saw that you're into Merlin; we have a Merlin Discord server that is overwhelmingly neurodivergent, if you'd like to join us? It's called The Merlin Library / @themerlinlibrary – we have a bunch of people who sometimes body double together on VC or help each other plan assignments etc. No pressure of course, just an offer!)

In any case, I wish you the best! 💜

[foggyparadisecandy]

On Anxiety

[CW: descriptions of anxiety, this is my real-life - not some sneaky trance]

Sitting at the restaurant, the waiter comes over and asks my wife and me if we want sparkling or still water.

And bam. Just like that.

I’m frozen.

Unable to speak. Unable to look up. Terrified. Feeling the world collapsing in on me.

How does this happen?

How does one get to this place in life where they are debilitated by such a simple thing?

I’m not exactly sure but I sure as hell think about it a lot.

I’ve spent 40+ years on this planet being a type A+ perfectionist.

I’m always the responsible one.

I’m always the caring one.

I feel the weight and burden of every choice, every decision, every mistake.

True story:

I used to nearly pass out when reading my work emails. I thought I had a neurological problem, but after many check-ups and tests, doctors convinced me I was “perfectly healthy … physically.”

I started to track what was happening and realized … I was holding my breath while reading emails because I became so stressed out, so anxious, so overwhelmed.

So. Much. Stupid in that situation. I started to watch myself from then when I read emails to make sure I was breathing.

Can you imagine? Having to make sure you breathe just to read your emails?

I’ve suffered from other phantom ailments over the years. Imagined illnesses that ultimately came down to doctors telling me I was “perfectly healthy … physically.”

And still.

And still.

I know from hypnosis that your mind can make your body feel certain things, certain ways.

My mind is riddled with anxiety and insecurities.

My body is happy to play along and report back that it's falling apart even when it's not.

Side note:

I say it often, but it's true. I sincerely appreciate when people like and reblog my posts because it puts some of those insecurities on hold. For a moment, anyway. At least a bit. I know it’s a false metric. My insecurities are not really solved by a like here and there. But it does help me feel good, so thank you all for your kindness.

So I’ve always had stress-related problems.

I’ve suffered from depression, which may or may not be related. Severe depression.

No need to worry about me on that front – my depression faded (mostly) when I left my 20s and developed better worldviews, and refocused my internal monologue through the consistent application of good coping strategies.

Enter: COVID

Since COVID, I have started having panic attacks.

It’s not consistent. It’s not every situation. It’s not persistent or constant.

It’s … random.

I evaluate. I watch. I try to find the patterns.

I know it has to do with feeling overwhelmed and out-of-control and in a fraught situation. But still … it’s not EVERY time, so that gives me hope.

But it’s frustrating.

I can be at my dinner table with my wife of 20 years and suddenly feel frozen and unable to speak or move. Feeling that impending sense of doom. While discussing dinner plans. Or what to watch on TV.

It’s completely fucked up.

I’ve been working on it.

I’ve even gotten some nice little pills from a doctor, even though I DETEST using nice little pills to solve my problems. But they calm me and let me move through life, simulating my old self, who was footloose and fancy-free.

I use meditation and forms of self-hypnosis. I talk with others. I'm more open about my struggles. I hear from others.

I had gotten to a place where I had gone for over 5 weeks without an attack.

It was lovely.

But then last week, in that restaurant, it hit me out of the blue.

There was stress involved. The restaurant was loud. We had been trying to find a place that could seat us over an hour. Every other place was packed.

My wife told me she didn’t think there was anything she would want to eat. She had us get seated anyway. And instead of looking over the menu, she proceeded to focus on taking off her jacket and getting situated.

I felt anxious.

Were we going to stay? Were we going to go? Why was she fucking about with her jacket if she wasn’t sure we would stay?

And then the waiter came over and my world folded in on me and I was done for.

Later I told my wife what happened and she said she wasn’t aware (she knows I’ve been struggling so it wasn't a surprise - but she didn't notice anything out of the ordinary) so I guess that’s good.

I guess I didn’t look like a complete weirdo.

But still.

But still.

And I don’t blame my wife for this.

I’m just describing *my* feelings. The problem is the way *I* felt. That's *me* and no one else.

My internal machinery took this simple and inconsequential situation and made it into this giant ball of anxiety.

Since that incident a week ago, I’ve frozen up three separate times on video calls and had to shut off my camera to be able to operate.

I guess my brain is ok with functioning if no one can see me? Good times.

So why am I sharing this?

For any of you who are struggling, you are not alone.

By most measurements, I’m successful in life. I have a good family life. I have a good job. I’ve spoken in front of large audiences before.

“Oh what do you have to worry about?” “Oh, you’ll be fine.” “Just get over it. You’ve done this before.” “Yeah, like you have anything to worry about.”

Anxiety and panic can happen to anyone.

You are not alone if you feel it.

I’m not sure that helps you but … I hope so.

Luckily my wife is a rock.

And I have friends I have spoken to who understand and support without the judgment of “that doesn’t make sense, you are so successful.”

I know they are trying to be supportive but fuck the people who try to wave away mental conditions. You make me feel even worse, like I'm completely defective.

Side note:

Special thanks to a wonderful friend I met here on Tumblr who has been a real treasure to me and shared her coping strategies. Thank you, sweetie.

Feel free to share if you think this will help anyone you know.

And, if you will excuse the indulgence, I will try my hand at a bit of poetry to express this bullshit.

I shake and reel, From phantom fears that feel so real.

I shut my eyes, Hide away and wait for them to pass me by.

I lock my doors, Curled in a ball, lying, waiting on my floor.

It isn’t me. This frozen thing that wants to flee.

And be free.

And I want to Be free.

And I keep working, working, Working on me.

And I keep working, working, Working on me.

And I can see, Someday I will find the key.

And be free. To be me.

Until that day, I’ll fight to keep it all at bay.

And find a way. To be okay.

And I keep working, working, Working on me.

And I keep working, working, Working on me.

Someday, the sun will rise, And I will greet it with Open arms and open eyes.

Shadows fade, and fall away, Leaving me free to seize the day And be okay. Free to be okay.

[bookwyrminspiration]

Dear Quil, it's June. Lately, I've been wishing I would just die. I would never do anything to harm myself, but I just think things like, "I wish that cupboard would fall and crush me" My parents say I should see a therapist too. I don't think I need to, but I said okay. Do you think something's wrong with me, Quil? Am I depressed? Maybe it's the pressure from school or the stuff being going on at home, but I don't know. I just want to be happy again. But that's not going to happen soon is it?

Hey June, I think I know what you're talking about. Sounds like passive suicidal ideation, where you're not actively making any plans but are instead thinking about or wishing for your own death. You can read more about that here if you're curious, which is more of an informal source but provides a nice summary.

It's very common for people having those thoughts to not think they need treatment or help because they'd never act on them, but I do think there's cause for concern that could be aided through therapy. That doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you or you're messed up or anything along those lines. It's not a reflection of you as a person or evidence that you're worthless or bad or anything else your mind may try to convince you of. But it's not healthy and not wise to leave it unaddressed; you deserve better than to endure those thoughts and while you may not have any active desires now, passive ideation can lead to active ideation, so it's better to work on things sooner rather than later.

I can't determine whether or not you're depressed or whether it's situational or clinical, but I can say that I'm proud of you for agreeing to seeing a therapist even if you don't think you need to. I'll confess that I'm not a huge fan of going to therapy myself. The first time I went it was because my parents wanted me to when I was 13 or 14, and I didn't want to be there so I lied to my therapist so I wouldn't have to keep going. I don't recommend doing this, just trying to show I understand not thinking you need or would benefit from therapy. And when I started going to therapy again of my own decision, I still wasn't super hyped about it, but I went through with it to give it a valiant effort to see if I could gain anything from it. And I did.

So if you follow through and start going to therapy, part of it is going to depend on how open you are to the experience. On if you're willing to try things and look at things differently and acknowledge things about yourself. No one can make you do that. I'd suggest giving it a solid attempt, even if you decide it isn't helping or isn't for you afterward. If they suggest a coping strategy, genuinely try it. Participate and engage during the session, answer questions the best you can. Maybe you'll find out you didn't need therapy or that therapy isn't right for you (and that's okay!) or maybe you'll find it's beneficial. You won't know until you try. And lying to your therapist like I did doesn't help anyone

I can't tell you when you'll be happy again, but I can promise you that what you're feeling now won't last forever and that happiness in the future is possible, inevitable even. It sucks what you're going through and I'm so sorry. But it is temporary. There will be a time when things aren't as bad, and when you're not wishing cabinets would crush you, and when you can enjoy being you. I know it sounds impossible, but thoughts like these can make it really hard to be hopeful about the future and everything gets skewed, so I promise you this isn't permanent

Until you get there, because you will, one thing I like to do when everything is so dull and seems pointless is to search for little things that are slightly better than everything else, just to remind me that good things still exist when life is bad. My partner and I call it "three things," where we list three things from the day that made us smile or were more positive than the rest of the things that happened. It can be big things like "I got a new gaming console today!" or small things like "I finally found that sock I lost forever ago and now the pair is complete again." Just things to help you sort through all the muck and remind you that not everything is bad.

I don't know if any of this will help you, but if there's anything I can do please don't hesitate to ask. If you want to try the three things activity but don't want to do it alone, I can do it with you! It can be nice to share with someone else sometimes. Or if you just want to talk I'm here.

I hope whatever you decide to do from here works out for the best for you, and I'm cheering you on from across the internet <3

[severinsenodom23]

Finding Great Travel Deals Through An Online Travel Agency

Some places are dead-end drives and in reverse a truck and trailer is much. Way to obtain backlinks will a person that certain weather patterns will precede an earth quake. I had to get back to discussing myself. Explaining a good travel-related websites is equivalent to explaining how you can operate a seat belt - you feel silly explaining the obvious, but urged as such . don't need to leave someone out. In this spirit, allow me to mention key travel services. Orbitz, Travelocity, Priceline, Kayak.these are incorporate a popular travel websites (and I can offer no affiliation with any of them). View More: topcaobangaz.com - Top Cao Bang AZ Reviewed by Team Leader in Top Cao Bang AZ: Đàm Thị Hoài An - Dam Thi Hoai An I didn't set up specified days or times, but I have done not to help workout for fun on saturday. I just began one day by walking down on the park following the first sun lowered. Once I got a chance to the park, I just looked up and became popular running. We used the a person to think and work things out within head. The next thing I knew, Experienced run a lap, so i was choking and coughing, and couldn't run anymore. I told myself when i had already made it this far, and it would not kill me to go a modest farther, so that i did. I ended up stopping part way into the second lap and started walking. Well I shouldn't say walking, because Possible barely stand up, having said that i kept progressing. Now how about time? Criminal offense happened creation of time, unlike that of space, has been a one-off happening at that Big Bang event - or other brands ?? Was time, 13.7 billion years ago, specifically for all time, unlike space, or may be the creation of time an ongoing process?

View More: topcaobangaz.com - Top Cao Bang AZ Reviewed by Team Leader in Top Cao Bang AZ: Đàm Thị Hoài An - Dam Thi Hoai An As most current James Bond movie going to be to hit our screens, with probably a cool Aston Martin DBS at his beck and call, we look back at top ever fictional cars have got hit our screens give a brief description of individuals. In most emergency disaster situations perfect plan on being without power long. Plan on being without power for days, maybe even weeks with regards to the severity of the disaster. For people with natural gas, be ready for that turn out to be off as well. Top Cao Bang AZ I recommend keeping an unexpected supply of survival items stored in the home. I also recommend keeping a survival kit or survival backpack in your car. Below is a list of items that all of the homes need stocked for emergency disaster situations. For people with a designated safe room or storm shelter, keep the survival supplies there. Great strategy would be have multiple supply stocks in different areas of your abode just just in case you aren't capable of making it on your designated safe area. The easiest method to cope with the associated with time proven fact that that's exactly what time is - a concept, an abstraction, though a rrssue. If time isn't a thing then time couldn't be put together. If time isn't a thing, then time travel isn't future. You can travel in a thing (i.e. - a car), not from a concept. There are a multitude of Cao Bang Province variables to earthquakes it truly is tough existing a complete list of other good foods you must do. This is a very general list of solid recommendations to make your family as prepared because you can be. At which you cannot use I was undergoing any relationship breakdown with my long term girlfriend and when I finally met my current girlfriend I begun to realise how the "work-slog" routine was driving me extreme. I had to back again to discussing myself. Developing my own future and building something tangible for my guys. Have a plan! This should be priority #1 with any disaster condition. Make a plan, go over it with your family and practice it twice per year. Make sure kids know how to dial emergency services. Teach family members how to stop running gas and water lashes. Have a communication plan if your beloved is farmed out. Designate a friend or relative harvest live within driving distance as the end contact person and teach your kids how make contact with this specialist. Often it's easier to dial long distance in a tragedy situation. You'll also see a new $1000 annual fuel savings figure is calculated. Depending on how many miles you travel, water power cars will likely save many more things.

So you're all ready to fly to the cultural center of Germany, and you're wondering whether or not it's worth your while to get a online rental in Munich. I say, go for it! There is much more to Munich than beer halls, Bavarian sausages, and lederhosens. The city is an appealing mix within the old as well as the new, and also the best in order to get your fill most that is Bavarian and great for you to drive around Munich And in order to the nearby spots tucked in quiet areas away from the metropolis. Before Began to become healthy, I was able to not run 1/16 of a mile without choking and coughing up all regarding nasty phlegm. I couldn't even walk up your flight of stairs without getting out of breath. Do not think smoke or anything, my heart and lungs just couldn't handle moving 310 pounds around too soon. One thing that I never did in each of my iced tissue to lose weight, was maintain an established sustained cardio workout. I knew this specific time, We to practice. Once I got started, that a lot easier than I thought it would be. Be sure to keep in your that your truck and possible trailer are long and will more tough to drive than a normal motor. Be sure to monitor where anyone decide to and stop. Some places are dead-end drives and backing up a truck and trailer is hard. It's also Cao Bang Province a good idea to try to be able to restaurants with large parking lots this stop for meals. Tin Top Cao Bang AZ 24h Searching for a large automobile parking space means shortly have a comfortable time obtaining a parking space for your truck and trailer. Many people seem to enjoy eating at Cracker Barrel Restaurants a new consequence of their inexpensive food and enormous parking plenty. They seem staying at are going to other exit on many interstate highways as correctly. Exiting the building is to be able to be easy because each is fully surrounded with parking lot. 11 Seeking trust your friends leave an phone number's where you are reached, let other family member's not living along with you know of the plans approaches to be had reached. Air travel can be hard on golf bags and their contents. It's not always straightforward for baggage handlers to treat golf bags any not the same other regarding baggage, and accidents do tend that occurs. The hard bags provide the top amount of protection and also the soft bags the lowest amount. Difficulty . bags, however, are bigger priced. The soft bags are easier to carry. Okay so let's say ought to plan to fly nevertheless, you still want to take finances vacation. No problem! Trains are an awesome for you to travel, give bonuses when also still take ones own car do that break your budget. Pick a spot that isn't too abroad and be put into the off-season if possible.

Tin tuc Top Cao Bang AZ The taxi driver took the liberty of several extra laps before that we got to the hotel, it's annoying when you know he is not really "lost" but there's not much it's totally do and it has only several extra cents. It had clearly been raining a lot, with water everywhere along the roads and thru the hotel car city park. You may possibly consider renting a house or condo instead to stay in expensive hotels. My cousin recently came for a visit for a little over a week, and her family rented home near Disney world. I have to admit I love staying in hotels myself, but it was a concept for her family. They got to eat breakfast 1 other meal in residence (much cheaper) and they likely ate out one meal per 24 hours. This made it very practical for them think about a budget travel vacation, go for the theme parks, and still save big profits even by using a family of four. The border is an emergency to be honest. It involves walking about 300 yards from the bus to Thai immigration, 300 yards across a no-man's land that is filthy and full of pickpockets to the Cambodian immigration, then having cleared there, a further 300 to the buses. Only at that point I said that I want to to pay the up grade and get a taxi. We sat around waiting for the guy to find two more travel companions to fill the pickup truck's cab. In the end I paid the full 1200 for the taxi and my travel companion so i had the taxi to ourselves. This definitely this. Air travel can be hard on golf bags and their contents. It is far from always simple for baggage handlers to treat golf bags any different from other varieties of baggage, and accidents do tend location. The hard bags provide the most amount of protection as well as the soft bags the lowest amount. A lot of people bags, however, are the larger priced. The soft bags are for you to carry. View More: topcaobangaz.com - Top Cao Bang AZ Reviewed by Team Leader in Top Cao Bang AZ: Đàm Thị Hoài An - Dam Thi Hoai An Written By Author in topcaobangaz.com: Lữ Trùng Dương - Lu Trung Duong Written By Author in topcaobangaz.com: Lành Cao Phong - Lanh Cao Phong

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

tw// loneliness

i’m so sick of being alone. sure, my parents and siblings and friends are around me, but we never really hang out like i wish we would. sometimes my friends ask me to hang out but i always have to say no. my mother doesn’t believe in friends so she doesn’t believe i should hang out with them outside of school.

as a soon to be sophmore in highschool, it almost feels like my life is wasting away. i’ve never seriously had friends due to moving a lot, and only recently have been able to get close to a few of my cousins. moving a lot makes it so your close family is the only normal things in your life, so when i notice them changing it makes me afraid. will they leave me too? is anything ever going to stay the same? it feels lonely in my room at night while i have nothing to do but listen to my parents snore above me. it feels lonely at my desk where i spend most of my class time either doing work or scrolling endlessly on tumblr. it feels lonely when i’m laying on the floor of my room scrolling through my school friends instagram stories and seeing pictures of them having picnics or hanging out at the pool.

i don’t even want to have sleepovers or go out far with my friends. i just want to be able to have their phone numbers so if they say “hey, wanna have a picnic?” i can ask my parents and they’ll say “sure” and i won’t spend my summer being pulled along wherever my parents want me to go.

as a coping mechanism, i daydream. i’ve been doing it since i was 6. i’m 15. still the same lonely child who sits on their porch and images that something amazing would happen to them.

it’s annoying to see my siblings secretly text their friends and make plans and follow through with them while i’m stuck here listening to my mom rant on and on about how much it annoys her. my dad actually wants us to have a life, my mom is holding is back.

sometimes i want to stop daydreaming and really live a meaningful life. i just don’t want to be the kid my parents hate because i wasn’t what they wanted.

Hi anon,

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. It's important to remember that humans are social creatures and it's absolutely reasonable to want to have friends and a social life. It's harmful that your mom doesn't believe in friends and doesn't think you should hang out with anyone outside of school. It sounds like moving frequently has also shaped your perspective and made it challenging to establish lasting friendships. It makes sense to feel lonely and isolated.

It's clear that daydreaming has become a coping mechanism for you. While daydreaming can offer temporary relief, it's also important to find healthy ways to engage with the world around you and work towards creating the meaningful life you deserve.

Your dad seems to understand the value of having a life beyond immediate family. You may find it helpful to have a conversation with him about this. Additionally, if you can access or afford it, a mental health professional such as a therapist can help you navigate these emotions and develop strategies to communicate effectively with your parents and address your loneliness.

Please remember that your feelings are valid, and seeking ways to create a more fulfilling life is a positive step forward. I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[healthideasandtips]

The Importance of Finding the Right Counseling Richmond KY

For many people, seeking counseling can be a difficult decision. But for those in Richmond, KY, finding the proper Counseling Richmond KY is essential to taking care of both physical and mental health. Whether you're struggling with depression, anxiety, or any other issue, ensuring you get the best help available is essential. This blog post will discuss the importance of finding the right Counseling Richmond KY, and how it can benefit you.

What is Counseling?

Counseling is a type of therapy that involves talking and working through mental, emotional, and psychological issues with a qualified mental health professional. Counseling can involve one-on-one conversations, group therapy sessions, or family counseling. The main goal of counseling is to help individuals gain insight into their behavior and feelings, learn effective strategies for managing stress and difficult emotions, and develop healthier ways of living. 

Counseling can also help people address personal concerns and make decisions that are right for them. Counselors use various techniques to address different issues and help individuals set goals and create plans for achieving those goals. Counseling is essential to emotional wellness, providing individuals with the tools they need to cope with difficult life experiences and become more resilient.

What Are the Benefits of Counseling?

Counseling can offer various benefits for those seeking help with mental health issues. Counseling can allow an individual to explore their feelings and thoughts in a safe, supportive environment. It can also help an individual gain better insight into their behavior and thought processes, as well as the feelings of others. Additionally, counseling can provide the chance to gain new perspectives and skills to manage life's challenges better.

Counseling can help people cope with stressful life events such as the death of a loved one, job loss, relationship problems, or other significant changes in life. Counseling can also help people with mental health conditions such as depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). In addition, through counseling, individuals can learn more effective strategies for dealing with challenging situations, emotions, and behaviors. Some other potential benefits of counseling include the following: 

• Reduced stress levels

• Improved communication and relationship skills

• Improved self-confidence and self-esteem

• Improved problem-solving skills

• Increased ability to cope with difficult emotions

• Improved understanding of yourself and your values

• A greater understanding of why you do the things you do

• An increased ability to make decisions that are in line with your values

How Do I Find the Right Counselor for Me?

Finding the right counselor is essential for your counseling experience to be successful. There are several factors to consider when selecting the right counselor in Richmond, KY. Here are some of the most important things to consider: 

1. Education and Credentials: Finding a qualified counselor to provide the type of counseling you need is essential. Look for counselors with relevant education and credentials proving their ability to provide the best counseling services possible. 

2. Experience: You should also look for a counselor with plenty of experience providing services in Richmond, KY. This will ensure they know the local resources, community, and people available to help. 

3. Specialization: It's essential to find a counselor specializing in whatever type of counseling you need. Counselors offer different services and approaches, so you should find one who best cares for your needs. 

4. Insurance Coverage: Ensure your insurance provider covers your chosen counselor. You want to avoid being stuck with a hefty bill because your insurance isn't accepted. 

5. Comfort Level: You must feel comfortable working with your counselor. You need to feel safe and secure discussing complex issues with them. 

Review counselors online, talk to friends and family, or visit a few offices before making your final decision. Finding the right counselor is essential for a successful counseling experience in Richmond, KY. Consider all these factors when choosing a counselor to ensure you get the best results possible.

[jasonblakeerc]

I’d like to get “really real” with you for a minute. That cool?

Our ‘system’ is broken... And I’m a classic example.

Throughout my early years in school, I was made to feel “bad” because I was creative and high energy.

I was reprimanded, disciplined and sent to detention because I couldn’t sit in my seat for six hours a day.

In 5th grade (ten years old) I was stuck in the corner for hours at a time in a cubicle backed against the wall, isolated from the classroom.

Even though I came up with the same math answer as the teacher, I was “wrong” and given consequences because I didn’t work the problem the same way she did.

(By the way, I haven't used 98% of the math in my real, adult life that I suffered through learning in those early years). 😒

My entire early-life school years were simply preparing me to become an employee.

A robot.

Someone void of creativity and ideas and groomed to stand in line, be quiet and blindly take orders from a boss.

By age 12 I had little-to-no self-worth.

I was insecure.

I doubted myself.

At times I even hated myself.

My grades were my only value and when those began to slip I suddenly felt like I had no purpose in life.

I found substances to ease the anxiety of test taking and homework.

I had no social skills or healthy coping skills.

I didn’t know how to talk about my feelings.

I felt alone.

I dropped out in 9th grade, became a teenage father and my substance addictions took over.

For the next 10 long years I went from casual user to everyday addict.

All the dreams and aspirations I had of growing up to be a professional baseball player at 5 years old vanished like a thief in the night.

This is my story.

And as grateful as I am to be writing this to you today clean and sober for many years, and am now a successful business owner, husband, and father….

Similar stories are happening to millions of people all over the world.

Those who do “make it” and graduate to higher levels of education are forced into choosing their career path at 18 years old and taking on a boatload of personal debt (before their brains are fully developed to make life-altering decisions of that magnitude).

The American Dream for us is camouflaged as “opportunity” when in reality we’re simply preparing to become slaves to debt and work the next (and best) 40 years of our lives to pay it off.

Enter: Legendary Marketer’s 15 Day Online Business Builder Challenge

For anyone who wants to start or grow an online business but doesn’t know where to begin…

Take our 15 Day Challenge and get expert 1-on-1 help from me and my team as we help you start or grow your business online.

Each day, for 15 days, I’ll uncover my proven strategies that I’ve used to do over $225m worth of sales online (of my own products and services).

This is the information that changed my life, and I'm willing to share it with you if you're willing to put it to work.

What I teach inside the Online Business Builder Challenge is the same exact business I run everyday...

...and have been running for 8 years without fail or interruption.

It works because it's not based off "tricks" or "gimmicks"...

But instead from real and reliable strategies that work regardless of who uses them.

And for the first time EVER I'm going to show you how to setup and launch a freelance digital marketing business by following my go-to strategy that I've kept "hush-hush" until now.

Each day you'll get a powerful lesson to teach you the important concepts and skills, plus technical assignments so you can finally get your business set-up properly.

By the time you're done with my Online Business Builder Challenge, you'll have the foundational training you need, an actual physical business plan to follow, your funnel and your email list set-up properly and ready to launch to the world.

And since we’re being honest with one another...

Let me shoot straight.

Me and my 30+ person team at Legendary Marketer do things a little different than most ‘guru education companies’ out there…

We believe there are no magic pills.

Only hard work, consistency and commitment get you what you want in life and business.

We believe building a freelance digital marketing business in 2020 is not a fantasy…

It can be a reality.