#to not be secretly BEEFED

[candyopals]

x

stronger than she looks

x

[shu-box-puns]

Dad Tsu'tey and feral Son Spider

Spider running from something, probably Lo'ak.

He probably started shit by pulling his tail or stealing something (he's chaotic like that) and Lo'ak wants revenge. Since the boy is a third his height and significantly stronger, Spider already knows it's gonna be an unfair fight. So who does he run to?

Tsu'tey of course.

Just his Dad having a very serious conversation with Jake (they're arguing over who can perform better tricks on their ikrans), when the boys come RUNNING up to them. Cue Spider making grabby hands for Tsu'tey, who doesn't bother glancing down at the six year old as he simply reaches down and hoists him up onto his hip. Because Tsu'tey is hella tall, this almost instantly gets Spider out of Lo'ak's tackling height.

Spider sticks his tongue out at Lo'ak and Lo'ak - being Jake's son - feels as if he's been dealt a great injustice. But instead of spitting curses and yelling about it like he normally would, he decides to take a page out of Neteyam's book and deal with it himself.

Note: Jake and Tsu'tey are still talking arguing and stubbornly ignoring what there kids are doing at their feet.

And what does Lo'ak do, well, he can't reach Spider because Tsu'tey is a tall son of a bitch, so he promptly scales Jake like a tree. His Dad doesn't even help him. The five year old just clambers up his body like some sort of baby koala, making mad swipes at Spider when he's in range. Jake barely registers that he suddenly has a kid on him beyond grabbing Lo'ak by the arm and hoisting him up onto his hip in a mirror of how Tsu'tey is holding Spider.

Spider ducks away, clinging to Tsu'tey cumberbund as he scurries around his Dad's back and hauls himself up onto his shoulders. Tsu'tey puts a hand on his calf to keep him steady, but keeps talking arguing.

In retaliation, Lo'ak tries to climb higher but Jake isn't having it. Lo'ak is young but he's heavy. Three time Spider's weight and no way can old man Jake support that on his shoulders anymore.

I'm sorry, but the mental image of Lo'ak spitting fire and cursing at Spider whilst Jake holds him on his hip. Whilst Tsu'tey - taller than Jake - has Spider balanced on his shoulders, the kid sticking out his tongue at his friend and Tsu'tey not breaking his sentences for a moment.

This is a common sight around the village and at this point no one questions it.

[myst1cb0y]

*skz playing mafia* hyunjin: seungmin is dead. jisung: and who killed him?? *everyone pointedly glares at minho* minho: minho: why are yall lookin at me do you want me to dance over his dead body or sum'

[sea-jello]

bmc as out of context quotes my friends and i have said cause im copying other people

christine after deactivating all the squips: i am so proud. i converted my friend from really mean to homosexual

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jeremy: i am genuinely scared michael will break up bc i dont like jerky

jake: man its fucking dried beef

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christine: i can’t read japanese but i’m gonna estimate. 300 CUPS OF MILK

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jenna: slay pussy girlboss queen

brooke: please dont use those words to describe my aunt

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rich: these are making me consider heterosexuality again

jake: UR STRAIGHT????

rich: IT WAS A JOKE

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(waiting in line talking about how he didnt know the eiffel tower lights up at night) jeremy: i dunno i dont catch up with,, paris,, lore

(still waiting in line) michael: who here do you think has the intention to murder someone

jeremy (spaced out of his mind): i dunno isnt it like,, illegal

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(different group of people talking about if it snows in paris)

christine: im not gonna lie the only knowledge of paris i have is from miraculous ladybug

brooke, jenna and jeremy: somewhat similar versions of "oh my god me TOO"

[fauvester]

tgcf as a long rambling bedtime story shang qinghua tells xuejiao (because story time is one of the few times his little half-demon whelp will cuddle with him) intended to teach a spoiled ass ice prince the value of humility and goodness and dedication to the people. it backfires horrifically because XJ thinks that xie lian is extremely cringe and in true airplane fashion the epic bloodthirsty demon antagonist ends up being a supreme simp househusband. how does this keep happening to SQH

[wprowers]

guys please someone help shadow

Tails has a protagonist role on this one

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[colealexart]

i just think laudna should have an emotional support displacer kitty, as a treat. (credit to marleybone for the name, and the southern gothic discord for the idea)

[bumblingbabooshka]

Someone on the "is it not enough to see Tuvok" post commented "Unfortunately, seeing Tuvok frequently requires also seeing a Neelix, which is unacceptable." and Bea, I am being sooo brave about it, I've not even murdered them (yet)

I am pinning this to your lapel like a purple heart:

They are worsties, they're divorced despite never being married, they have pigtail crushes on each other, they are mutually annoying co-workers, they are middle aged men and also high school girls with the most insane beef ever, family men without families, orchid breeders (one for sustenance and the other for beauty), they're everything.

[exporius]

Crimson colored glitter

Sun looked at daycare assistant y/n across the room as they furiously scrub at a specific spot on the large freddy plush. Y/n flashes a glare to sun but only for a second. Its enough to make suns chest ache with an upsetting feeling he cant really identify, but it upsets him. But before sun can even show any form of theatrics or defend his name, y/n is already walking towards him with the wet rag in their tightly clenched fist.

"Sun." They sternly pointed a finger towards the animatronic, til they were toe-to-toe, index burning as it presses into suns chest plate. "No. More. Glitter. Ever." Y/n's voice is tired and angry, but it doesnt stop a snicker that leaves suns voice box.

"You cant do that~" the electric and booming voice made y/n's fury only bubble further up inside. He was always so brave, always willing to stand up against his dear old assistant, he enjoyed how they would writhe under his gaze. "You work for me!" His tone is light and playful, but y/n knew better.

"Well i wont be working for you if keep making messes that are practically impossible to clean up!" Y/n cant help but snap back, earning a frown from the ever smiling animatronic that could easily grab them and break them in half. Easily so.

Those words werent meant to be any deeper than just a quip, a comeback formed by y/n's quick thinking. Something they got better at when they started working in the superstar daycare. But sun, oh poor sun, cant help but analyze every word with ones and zeros. The tall yellow figure stood there examining y/n, that is before he snakes his uncomfortably long metallic fingers under their arms and lifts them into the air.

"Oh, you havent seen impossible messes."

Y/n squeaks, but not from being picked up, but by the tone of the suns voice. What did he mean by that? The way his voice rumbled so deeply in his chest and reverberated in y/n's soul.

"Oh? If you think its so easy? why dont you do it?" Y/n challenged, swallowing the fear in their throat and ignoring how their life lied in suns hands as he held them.

Strangely, y/n could see the edges of suns smile twitch wider; an amused hum coming from him making their brows furrow.

"Alrighty then," the tone the solar animatronic used returned to the cheerful optimism y/n was used to. But why? They could rack their brain for an answer. What messes? Was sun really just being an ass, or was there something they were missing.

As y/n remained distracted in their thoughts, sun took liberty in carrying them towards the staff counter. He placed them down nearby before snatching the rag from y/n's tightly clenched fist.

"How about you take a well needed break. I think working more will just make you keel over and pass out. And we cant have that. You know how much paperwork that is.." sun continued to ramble on as he made his merry way back to the stain that y/n abused with soap and water, saying something about how fragile humans were or something along the lines. Y/n only could only respond with an eyeroll, crossed arms, and a huff as they sat down behind the staff only desk.

[pollenallergie]

need that queen charlotte and king george (bridgerton edition) type of love, except i’m king george

[stonyponyofficial]

twins named slims and slices:

[notmoreflippingelves]

Naomi/Esteban: 1, 7, 16 and 55 ; Gregory/Manfred (AA): 20, 21 and 59 please!

Naomi/Esteban

Who would end a heated argument by defending their actions with ‘because I love you!’ ?

Both to be honest. Albeit in slightly different ways. Esteban is more likely to have pre-emptively made a decision/taken action without informing Naomi or asking for her permission first. And Naomi would be livid that she wasn't consulted beforehand. Esteban would be very smug and condescending and talk about how he knows better since he's older (physically, maybe but not necessarily mentally) and wiser (questionable) so Naomi should defer to his judgement. And he would use "I love you" in a slightly manipulative way to try and silence all her protestations. (It doesn't work. His love for her just makes her even more determined to save him from his own noble urges).

In circumstances that specifically involve Esteban putting himself at risk (to protect Naomi/other members of his family/Avalor), he would probably also try to pull the "I am older and less worthy/important, so I am more disposable if things should go wrong" bullshit, which would make Naomi absolutely livid.

Also I think it would be impossible for Naomi to end the argument simply with "because I love you." She would specifically end it with "because I love you, you asshole!" (Emphasis on that last part). Sure she loves him and wants him to know that's why she's behaving as she is. But she also wants to remind him that he is incredibly aggravating and often stupid and she can just barely stand the sight of him sometimes.

Would they build a pillow fort together just because?

Just because? No I don't think so. And certainly not together. That being said, I can see them building separate pillow forts under very specific circumstances for the sheer purpose of outdoing each other. One of them mentioned building pillow forts as children and being very good at it. And the other immediately follows up with "That is nothing. I built forts twice as high and just as impressive." and the inevitable response is "Oh yeah. Prove it!"

And so there just ends up being the pettiest little competition as to who can build the best fort. (Elena is named the judge since she has a foot in both camps. And she's rather shook about the whole thing. She herself would've absolutely accepted a pillow fort building challenge in an instant. But like she kind of expected Naomi and Esteban of all people to act like actual, reasonable adults--as they do in most circumstances. But no, they are the ones acting like children just because neither can bend even in a little where the other is concerned).

Not sure who would win the competition, though I might have to give a slight edge to Esteban. Simply because we know he likes to stack a pillow given the like 6+ we see on his bed in the sick day episode. (Of course, if Elena had taken part, she probably would've won because she has even more stacked pillows on her own bed and she's more stubborn than either of the others to boot).

Can they stay up all night just talking?

Could they stay up all night talking? Yes, probably. Both have a lot to say, enjoy the sound of their own voice, and like spending as much time as they possibly can with their partner.

Would they stay up all night talking? I kind of doubt it. While both are very hard workers, they are also two of the more practical characters on the show. (To an extent, Esteban can definitely have his super irrational moments). Therefore, they know the importance of getting a good night's sleep. They also seem like the sort that genuinely enjoy the sleep that they get. Like they're not going to protest too much or try to stay up any longer than necessary. Sleep is good (especially in each other's arms), so there is no strong drive to push it off.

Do they like watching clouds or star gazing?

Both of them are canonically into sailing, and using the stars to navigate is kind of a big part of that. So I definitely think they would look at the stars together. Additionally, Naomi has lived in a bunch of different places, and Esteban traveled a lot during his time as chancellor. So I think they would both know and talk a lot about the different names for various constellations in different places--as well as any legends/stories associated with these or the stars themselves.

On a similar note, they might also watch the clouds a bit--but more out of practicality than enjoyment. It's always good to be on top of changes in the weather--especially when one or both is out at sea and/or if they have specific plans outdoors in the near future. That being said, Naomi is particularly fond of pointing out any cloud that she sees that even vaguely resembles Esteban's facial hair. (Esteban's usual reply: "You do me a great disservice with that remark, Miss Turner! I would never allow such a miserable, misshapen thing to grace my face.")

Gregory/Manfred

Choose one song that perfectly describes their relationship.

I'm sorry, but I am so bad at this. I don't know music like at all. (It's really just musical theater and artists my parents like. That is the extent of my music knowledge).

So we're gonna have a few songs from random musicals and they're gonna be angsty since that's where my brain goes with this ship.

So I don't think this one will come as a particular surprise especially given I know you are a Les Mis fan...but yeah, the whole sequence of Confrontation --> Stars--> Javert's Suicide.

Just Manfred being horrified and disgusted at being at Gregory's mercy and the audacity of this man to be kind and just and dedicated toward the Truth when he has no right. Just go ahead and substitute "defense attorney" for "thief"/"criminal" in a lot of Javert's lyrics, and you've got Manfred being a toxic, doomed, would-be tsundere.

"Damned if I'll live in the debt of a thief/ Damned if I'll yield at the end of the chase./ I am the Law and the Law is not mocked./ I'll spit his pity right back in his face./ There is nothing on Earth that we share....

"How can I allow this man to hold dominion over me...This desperate man whom I have hunted."

And as for another toxic musical yaoi ship, Judas' reprise of "I Don't Know How to Love Him" from Jesus Christ Superstar. (Arguably Mary Magdalene's original as well). Just Manfred destroying the man that he loves (unrequitedly?) as Judas has done--simply because their goals are not aligned and because he doesn't know how to handle his feelings that he can't help but feel are irrational--especially as Gregory (or Jesus in the original) is just so damned Good and Manfred knows he never would've been worthy of him.

And even though I don't particularly read MVK as wallowing in guilt nearly as much as I do with Kristoph in krisnix, I think here could be an element of that there as well.

"I have been splattered with innocent blood./ I will be dragged through the slime and the mud./ I have been splattered with innocent blood!/ I will be dragged through the slime and the slime and the slime and the mud...

I..I don't know how to love Him./ I don't know why he moves me./ He's a man; he's just a man./ He is not a King./ He is just the same as anyone I know. /He scares me so."

There's also a bit of a similar feel from Burr's parts of "The World was Wide Enough " from Hamilton. Realizing that your idealogical opposite and narrative foil and foe didn't need to die at your hands. That your victory at long last is distinctly Pyrrhic and that there was and should've been room for both of you in the courtroom (which is THE world for all intents and purposes for Manfred).

(For both of the above songs, the beginning isn't really the vibe for angsty Manfred/Greg, so I went ahead and linked to right where the relevant part starts).

And on a much, much lighter note. "Horny Angry Tango" from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. (Bonus in that both characters are lawyers and the background of this is them duking it out in court in a proxy battle for their relationship issues.) Just Manfred and Gregory getting super hot under the collar while arguing against each other in court, but also like genuinely being furious with each other as opposed to just horny and in denial.

And similarly, You're Only Second Rate from The Return of Jafar. I see this as early in Manfred and Gregory knowing each other. Manfred is just so aggravated by Gregory and thinks its so absurd that Gregory thinks he is a match for him. And he just quickly becomes overly obsessed with him in a totally not healthy or normal way that Greg in no way asked for. But Manfred just can't let this go for some reason. (It's a crush; he's got a crush, but he'll never realize it).

Who would get into a fight to defend the other’s honor? Who tends to the other’s wounds?

I'm not sure I can see either of them getting into a fight to defend the other's honor. Gregory doesn't ever think fighting is the answer, and it would take awhile for Manfred to ever get to the point where he is self-aware enough to admit that he cares about Gregory in order to defend him.

That being said, I can definitely see Manfred getting into a fight that concerns Gregory in some way. Maybe he's jealous of someone else he thinks is moving in on his man? Or someone (Gant probably) makes this mistake of teasing Manfred about his obvious "crush." Then, Manfred gets really really defensive about it (he's so in denial) and may even retaliate with his fists if the person is really pushy about it.

Greg would have to be around to bandage Manfred's wounds, but he would definitely do it and very carefully. Which of course makes Manfred even more furious about everything. HOW DARE HE BE KIND WHEN THIS IS ALL HIS FAULT IN THE FIRST PLACE?

Who tops? Who bottoms?

Honestly, I don't think I've ever seriously thought about this, lol. I am friendly with some Manfredf*ckers, though and so I have thought/heard a little bit about their thoughts re: von Karma sex in general.

My main feeling is that I feel like whether Manfred would top or bottom depends entirely on whom he is being shipped with. He bottoms for Gant and Blaise, he tops Udgey, Yanni, Phoenix, Miles or Kristoph (I've only seen it one fic but like...👀).

But as for Gregory...you know I have a feeling Manfred would bottom for him too. Specifically in the sense of being a rather pushy power bottom and sort of for similar reasons as Kristoph. He's super uptight and repressed--and I feel there's a part of him that would enjoy losing some of his trademark control and perfection but specifically in a controlled, safe, private environment like the bedroom. Also, he's worth it so he would enjoy making his partner do most of the work and he just sits and enjoys like the perfect and deserving von Karma that he is.

As for Gregory, I guess see him more as a service top anyway. He doesn't strike me as particularly dominant, but he strikes me as a submissive even less. Maybe it's the overall "dad" energy that he exudes, but I feel like he would be very attentive to his partner and focus on making sure that they feel good and are well-looked after.

So yeah, they're probably both switches but in this case, Greg as service top to Manfred's power-bottom.

[junebugtwin]

A half werewolf half hydra oc of mine, her names Charlie and she’s a 300 something year old lesbian with a biting problem. She has so many mouths to smile from :)

[stupid-sloot-headcanons]

Punching a hornet's nest potentially but I honestly hate any yaoi ships where it's just two guys that canonically just hate each other or have a lot of animosity towards each other

[giulolosblackmail]

Barbalius: did you fuck my dad

Gaelan: Really, for all that you present yourself as above petty insults and crass jibes, hardly behavior befitting a Red Top Knight after all, it is you who always-

Barbalius: DID YOU FUCK MY DAD

Gaelan: :3c

Barbalius: I'LL KILL YOU

[tempestclerics]

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