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slytherinnbitch · 3 years

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Day 30: Pride

"So who all are going tomorrow?" Harry asks his usual friend group. Everyone responds with a yes and how is that possible?

"Uhm, I'm sorry did I miss something?" He asks incredulously.

"Maybe our coming outs," Pansy comments from beside Blaise and he looks at Draco for confirmation and he shrugs.

"Maybe we all can come out to each other? I don't think we ever did that properly." Neville suggests and everyone agrees and so it begins.

"I'll start then?" Pansy suggests and before anyone can respond she is talking again, "I'm a raging lesbian, if there was ever doubt to my homosexuality then I would like to apologise." She smirks at them and all of them laugh loudly at that.

Blaise goes next, "Pansexual!" he declares proudly.

"You mean anyone who even shows a slight interest?" Draco quips and gets swatted on his head for that.

"As if, darling. It's the other way round, everyone falls over their feet for me." Blaise preens and Pansy shuts them both with two mild stinging hexes.

"Okay me now!" Draco squeals and Harry shakes his head fondly, "I'm bi. And ready to die." Draco smiles cheekily at his own joke and Harry shakes his head. What did he do to get this bloke in his life?

"Oh, I always thought you're gay." Ginny comments and many of them nod agreeingly.

"Nah, bi." Draco waves them off and it's Harry's turn.

"Well I'm gay." Harry rubs his neck as he looks around.

"Was I really the only one to think that Harry was bi and Draco was the gay one?" Theo asks and by the looks of most of his friends, no most of them thought the same thing. Well, it's not like he ever came out properly or anything. He just started dating Draco and let people assume whatever they wanted to. Maybe it was a bad decision to not include their friends. Maybe.

"Girls nah!" Harry exclaims and Ginny frowns and exclaims, "Hey!"

"Gin, as much as I love you. You are a lesbian yourself and in love with a mysterious blonde. Much like me, so shut it." Harry says goodheartedly and Ginny makes a face at him but shuts up.

"Well, you all know I'm Trans and probably a demisexual. Not really sure about that," Neville says next and then adds as an afterthought, "I like boys though."

"Really, darling? No one would have guessed via how you are in a relationship with a bloke, now would they?" Theo quips and the rest of them chuckle.

"Well I'm gay through and through," Theo says next and kisses Neville on the lips as if to show that.

"Agender and asexual." Luna declares next and this is someone all of them knew since Luna was the only one to officially come out to everyone of them.

"And mine." Ginny says possesively beside her and kisses her cheek. "I'm lesbian, as my dear ex just pointed out not five minutes ago." She smirks at him and he flips her two fingers.

"Gay,"

"Gay." Seamus and Dean say one after the other. It's not like they ever looked at anyone else since Dean and Ginny's breakup. He still wants to know the actual story behind that one.

"Well, so," Ron starts and everyone looks at him in unison, he looks a bit red but that can he the light as well. "I uh recently discovered that I am bisexual." And everyone looks shocked. Harry is pretty sure he is staring with his mouth open, but he can't make himself look away.

When was his bestfriend going to tell him this? He sorta feels betrayed but how-

"I came out to Hermione a few months ago and well that's it I guess." Ron states, and Harry thinks he is missing a vital part somehow.

"So who was it?" It's Pansy who breaks the silence.

"Yeah that's right, Ron. Who was the bloke or non binary person who finally made opened your eyes towards the other genders." Blaise inquires as well.

Ron is now red in embarrassment so it's Hermione who answers, "Well, love can I then? Since you don't seem like you can talk in the next hour?" Ron nods his head resigned and Hermione smiles her cat-ate-the-canary smile. Oh this is going to be good.

"Well, it's the same person who might have instigated it years ago but Ron had been quite oblivious that time. Much like you and Cedric, Harry." Something in her voice tells Harry that she is giving a clue, to maybe Harry exclusively because the others still look clueless as ever.

And then clicks and holy shit-

"Victor Fucking Krum!" Harry says out loud and it makes sense with all the obsession and everything that he say in his fourth year.

"That's right! Ron saw Krum a few months back, he was in Berlin for the new shop there and he came across there and I got a floocall taht very evening, he came through and told me through his haze." Hermione smiles at her husband and messes his hair slightly, "Just imagine my shock-"

"You thought it was Krum he was jealous of at the Ball but it turned out to be You!" Harry joins in and both of them stare at each other before bursting out loud at the situation.

"Alright, both of you. Stop laughing at my expense. I know the irony of the situation." Ron says at last.

"But Weasley, just think about it! We might have had Krum with us tonight as your partner and not Granger." Draco says and scrunches his nose in mock disgust and the couple sends a stinging hex each and Draco yelps.

"Harry, baby! Your friends are abusing me!" he whines and Harry tuts mockingly which gets him a glare.

"Aww, sweetheart. Maybe don't mess with these two then. One of the most successful business man who is so accomplished in hexes and jinxes and our Minister of Magic. Deadly couple these both."

"Oh come off it, as if you both aren't deadly as well. Head of DMLE and Head of Unspeakables. I think that makes you both more dangerous." Hermione replies and he shrugs in response.

"Yes, yes. All of you are bigshots and we are grateful for so much security among us. Can we proceed then?" Pansy asks and Harry blushes slightly at the implications.

Just Hermione is left.

"Well, I'm just going as an ally. Mostly for Ron but all of you are going to be there anyways so I took a day off." Hermione says and wow, Hermione and off days. That's almost unheard of.

"Wait, so almost all the heads of the Ministry are not going to be there tomorrow?" Blaise asks and six of them turn to glare at him but it's Harry who replies.

"Don't worry, Blaise. Our best officials will be handling everything in our stead. And it's not our fault that all of our friends have such a good role in the Ministry and outside as well." Harry gives him the look he gives the hitWizards when they tell him a basic criminal slipped from their hands. Blaise looks mostly unbothered by it.

"Was planning on making a attack on the Ministry tomorrow. Would definitely be successful." Blaise replies instead.

"Shut up, Blaise." The six of them, him, Draco, Hermione, Neville, Theo and Luna say in unison and it's a pictureworthy moment.

They steer back into what they will be wearing and which type of makeup would look the best.

In the last, Draco agrees on a goth look with a short dress and mesh slacks. Harry with golden eyeliner which Pansy says would look godlike on his brown skin, so Blaise is going to do the same. He decides on wearing just his flag colours, with clip-on earrings and everything.

Blaise agrees on full black, as usual. Just the make-up would be his highlight, according to him. Luna is going in a fairy dress, Ginny in shorts and a sleeveless camisole.

Pansy in her signature heels and dress but make it pride colours. Ron, after a lot of coaxing decides on blue trousers, a pink and violet custom made sweater which apparantly Hermione had ordered almost three weeks ago. That makes him beam at her.

Neville is going in his usual wool sweater and trousers and his flag around his shoulder. Theo is matching with him.

As Harry looks around the table at the end of the night, and sees the happy faces of his friends who has somehow become his chosen family. He just feels one emotion. Love.

Endless love.

Day 29: Coming Out || Day 31: Unashamed

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icycream-catqueen · 3 years

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Kindling (When You’re Burning Low)

Cinder would rather burn herself out than risk a low grade; fortunately, Neo knows how to make her relax.

Rating: T

Tone: Some angst, lots of supportiveness, and a fluffy ending

Word Count: ~5,000

Important Tags: College AU, Established Relationship

I was gonna post this before now but I had problems with writing it and I was nervous about participating in a ship week especially when I only have something written for one prompt, and also my cat was sleeping on me for five whole hours earlier tonight while I was trying to finish up and as everyone knows it is a crime to disturb a snoozing kitty cat. I hope it still counts. ^_^;

Considering it’s pretty long, I only have an excerpt (the first scene I wrote for this fic, actually) on this post; the whole thing is, of course, over on AO3!

On this fine Saturday afternoon, Cinder was taking advantage of the lounge in the dorm suite. The coffee table was half-claimed by various books and notes while Cinder herself was settled at the same end of the couch, her laptop perched on the arm of it and her right side pressed closely against the suede upholstery as she struggled with the perfect phrasing for her essay. Failure was never an option for her, and even the slightest error would lead to it when it came to this class. She was running on pure caffeine by now, from a supposedly unhealthy amount of coffee. This was her third or fourth solid day of being awake. After the first night, she’d moved her setup from her room to the lounge to help her stay more alert. Winter and Emerald had both tried to tell her what was best for her wellbeing, but she’d firmly shut down their arrogance; she knew her own limits, and she needed to get this stupid project done. Neo, thankfully, had been out of town from Thursday morning to last night, and when she’d come back to the suite, she’d trudged straight to her room and shut the door. Cinder had only seen a couple brief glimpses of her since. Just as well, considering Cinder couldn’t intimidate her into letting her be like she could to Emerald and Winter.

At the moment, Emerald and Winter were both out of the building. They’d each probably told her what they were doing, but she hadn’t bothered to remember it. Neo was apparently still asleep, which was a bit odd but not enough so to risk seeing the pitiful kicked-puppy expression that appeared when her sleep was disturbed. Still, if she wasn’t up and about in two hours, it would be worth it to check on her mental and physical health.

Speak of the devil, Cinder heard a door open behind her. She didn't bother to look, though, until she realized the shuffling footsteps were approaching the couch instead of the kitchen, bathroom, or shower. She took a brief glance, then did an immediate double take because Neo looked absolutely miserable. Her hair was unbrushed and her eyes were dull. The oversized black sweatshirt (which Cinder recognized by the fiery orange phoenix on the front as one of her own that had mysteriously vanished a few weeks ago) and the brown and pink plaid pajama pants were probably what she'd worn to bed the night before, and she hadn't even bothered to put on socks. It was worrying to see her in such a state.

"You certainly look worse for wear," Cinder commented. Neo pouted at her as she slowly made her way to the couch and sank to the cushions. Before Cinder could react, Neo flopped down, squirmed to lay her head in her lap, and rolled onto her back. "I'm busy," Cinder told her sternly.

Neo's response was a soft and pitiful keening sound. She fumbled to grab Cinder's left wrist, staring up at her with pleading doe eyes.

"Neo. I'm busy," Cinder repeated. Neo whined and tugged on her wrist, so Cinder rolled her eyes and stopped resisting, curious about what she wanted. She wasn't sure what she was expecting, but she was definitely taken by surprise when Neo gently guided her hand under the hem of her sweatshirt and pressed it against her lower stomach.

What is she trying to accomplish here? Cinder raised an eyebrow at the woman in her lap. Neo let go of her wrist to sign something at her. The odd angle made it hard to translate, so it took a few seconds for Cinder to understand what she was asking for and why.

"I suppose I can take a short break, if you're really in that much pain," she relented. "You're lucky you're cute," she added as she carefully activated her Semblance.

The reaction was instant. Neo sighed with relief at the warmth, eyes full of soft gratitude and affection. Cinder rubbed slow, small circles over her stomach, feeling the smaller woman go languid under her touch. After a few more seconds, Neo's eyes fluttered closed.

"Is this warm enough?" Cinder asked. Neo nodded, a content smile playing across her lips. "Just ten minutes."

Neo opened her eyes and pouted at her.

"There is a reason I've been awake for," Cinder checked the time on her laptop, "about eighty hours now." Neo looked positively outraged.

"You need to sleep," she signed—easily decipherable now that Cinder had gotten a little more time to adjust to her current perspective. Not that the message was very appreciated.

"No, what I need is to finish this ridiculous project so I can move on to my two remaining essays, do all the work for a 'group project' because the rest of my assigned group are immature and unmotivated idiots, and study for my three exams this week," Cinder retorted.

"When are your essays due?"

Cinder elected not to answer, since admitting the due dates were two and three weeks away respectively wouldn't help her against Neo's accusatory glare.

"Your group project?"

Okay, so maybe it hadn't technically been assigned yet and was scheduled to be due in a month and a half, but all the information was in the syllabus. Cinder's class was full of imbeciles, and somehow she always got stuck in a group with some idiot or another who didn't understand what a lesbian was, so she was getting it out of the way to avoid interacting with anyone.

"Are all three of your exams actually this week?"

Two of them, and one of those barely counted more towards the final grade in the class than a small quiz. Her continued silence was answer enough; Neo knew her too well.

"You're going to burn yourself out again." Neo's eyes were unbearably sad, so Cinder looked away.

"I'm fine," she dismissed the concern. A hand grabbed her chin and yanked her head down so her eyes met Neo's again.

"I watched you collapse in the middle of campus last year, and I almost got in trouble for pulling a knife on the paramedics to make them let me stay with you. I got a scared video call from Winter four months ago because you fainted in her fancy rich-person hot tub and nearly drowned," Neo reminded her. “Do I need to go on?”

"I can handle it this time," Cinder insisted, growing agitated. Neo took a calming breath before responding.

"No you can't. You always say it but you never can. You end up in an exhausted daze. You work yourself into a frenzy. You get into fits of rage...which honestly scare me."

"I would never lay a hand on—!" Cinder was cut off when Neo pressed a finger to her lips.

"Not for myself. I'm scared you'll lose control and take it out on yourself again," Neo corrected her. "You haven't in a while, but..." Neo trailed a hand down Cinder's left arm, tracing her scars.

"I just...I need to...I have to keep working. I can't let myself fall behind. I can't..." Cinder faltered. Neo sighed.

"I know," she acknowledged. She knew about the past, knew why Cinder relapsed into these desperate attempts to excel, to stay ahead. "But it's pointless if you destroy yourself trying."

"I've only ended up being sent to the hospital three times since I started college," Cinder argued. Neo was unimpressed.

"Congratulations! And you've managed to barely avoid hospitalization how many times now?"

"I—that isn't relevant!" Cinder hissed. Neo scowled.

"Really? It's not? How many times have you ended up so exhausted that you were bedridden for days? How many times have you gone into a mental decline because you were incapacitated? And how many more times are you going to make me watch you suffer like that?"

"If you want to leave me, just get it over with!" Cinder spat bitterly. Neo's eyes widened, hurt and shocked. Cinder flinched, realizing she'd crossed a very important line. "I didn't mean...I don't know why I said that."

"An abandonment complex, emotional instability, a mess of insecurities you mask with your ego, previous girlfriends who couldn't handle you or only wanted your body...and like I've been saying, you need sleep,” Neo replied, recovering. "Also, my cramps?"

"What?" Cinder realized she'd subconsciously deactivated her Semblance at some point and quickly remedied that. "Oh. Sorry."

"I'm going to make a deal with you," Neo informed her abruptly. Cinder raised an eyebrow, intrigued.

"What kind of deal?"

"The 'ridiculous project' you're trying to finish. Tell me about it, and I'll explain," Neo replied. Cinder clenched her teeth at the mere mention of it.

"It's an assigned experiment, a five to ten-page report on it, and an oral presentation. And the professor hates me. He goes out of his way to make every class, every test, and every assignment hell for me. I have to work harder than anyone so he can't get away with failing me out of spite. If I make even one mistake..." she growled.

"When is it due?"

"The day after tomorrow. It was assigned two weeks ago, but three days ago he realized he 'accidentally' gave me the wrong experiment. In other words, he's making me do a two-week project within five days—after I'd already finished the one he previously assigned me."

"Watts," Neo guessed. Cinder had come back from his class angry enough times that it wasn't even a question.

"Yeah," she confirmed anyway. Neo wrinkled her nose.

"I already hated that guy, and I hated him more and more every time you came back from his class in a bad mood, but this shit he's pulling now is the final straw, so I'm going to get him fired," she declared. Cinder let out an amused huff.

"And how will you do that?" she asked. She didn’t expect an actual answer but Neo didn't even hesitate.

"It may include breaking and entering, small and well-placed incidents, a flat tire, some bottles of the expensive alcohol he isn't supposed to have on campus, a sedative, and if we're lucky, a little inadvertent assistance from gravity and Ironwood."

"Just how long have you been planning this?" Cinder was taken aback at the immediate response. Neo considered.

"The time you locked me out of your dorm after his class because you were so furious you wanted to hit something, and you were worried you'd see so much red you might accidentally hit me in blackout rage. You've never told me what happens in his class to make you so angry, or even if it's actually him or just another student—though I was pretty sure it was him—so I planned for both situations."

"I'm impressed," Cinder commented. Neo smirked. “Now what was that ‘deal’ you mentioned?”

"You finish the report for your project, then eat something more substantial than coffee and whatever quick snacks you've been living off of for the past few days. And then we go to my dorm and you get some damn sleep."

"How did you know I'm working on the report right now?" Cinder was taken aback. "And how do you know I haven't been eating?"

"Because I can see it on your computer. And once again, you've done this before, so I know you don't take the time for more than the minimum amount of food to keep hunger from 'distracting' you," Neo pointed out, almost accusingly.

"I haven't even started working on the oral presentation. I'll do all that after I'm completely finished."

"Nope. You can start that part when you're well-rested. If you make me physically drag you to bed while I'm on my period, I'll make damn sure you regret it," Neo threatened with a scowl.

“Fine,” Cinder gave in reluctantly. Neo smiled brightly, and dammit, it was nigh impossible for Cinder to stay bitter in the face of such genuine fondness, joy, and relief. She wondered when she’d gotten so soft—even if only a select few people got to see that soft part of her—and realized she didn’t even mind anymore.

#spicecreamweek2021 #spicecream #cinder x neo #fanfic #rwby #cinder fall #neopolitan #college au #oneshot #mentions of trauma #mentions of past self-harm #fluff #cuddles #established relationship #tl;dr cinder neglects self-care so neo makes her take a nap #i could have just done a link like normal people but i wanted an excuse to use the spicecream graphic i made

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perseusjackson-jasongrace · 4 years

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His Blood Runs Gold IV

Percy is a God: Part IV

Here’s my masterlist for the next part and my other stuff

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

we are products of war

and enemies of peace

we are universes finally standing still

ready, ready, ready

to destroy us all

this time

there is only power baby boy

and i will be brutal.

“Hey,” Jason said faintly, tapping the bubble.

Percy stood from his perch on the rock and waved goodbye to the school of fish he had been talking to. “You’re awake. How are you feeling?”

“Like I haven’t slept that well in months.”

Percy produced an immortal grin at that, “You hungry?”

“Starved, you got any of those cookies?”

“You sure you don’t want a proper meal first?”

“Where are we gonna get a proper meal from? My backpack has some lonely granola bars and possibly a fast over-ripening banana.” His eyes furrowed in confusion.

The God simply smiled, “What do you feel like?”

Jason gave him a look but said, “Breakfast burrito?”

He laughed, flicking his wrist and before the demigod could blink a foil-wrapped cylinder appeared in the bubble.

Mouth hanging open, Jason grabbed the burrito and unwrapped it before staring between the God and his breakfast like his head might explode.

“I promise it’s safe to eat.”

“You can just- you just?” The blonde was at a loss for words.

“Believe it or not, it isn’t really handy now. When I was a demigod, I would have loved to have that neat little trick but these days I don’t need to eat much.”

“Well if nothing else I’m keeping you around for that alone.” Jason mumbled around a mouthful of food.

“So you’re just gonna use me for your own selfish needs?”

“Mhmm it may be nice to use the gods for once, instead of the other way around.”

“Fair enough,” He shrugged, and wondered when he’d stop feeling the blow of that statement, uttered so many times by his friends and former camp-buddies alike.

He knew how they felt, hell he had felt like that once; but since becoming one of those gods it was hard not to feel hollowed out. He knew the half-bloods wouldn’t outright curse them, but Percy still heard all their bitter thoughts, He wasn’t sure if it was because he was the god for demigods that the whispers followed him around like a ringing in his head.

Jason’s voice pulled him back to the present.

“Anyway, thank you for the breakfast,”

“Uh yea no problem. So, I was thinking about the prophecy and the direction of the north star,”

“Yea what about it?”

“We’ve been heading south and if my coordinates are correct, we should reach the equator in a day or two”

“Are you saying we’re headed in the wrong direction?” Blue eyes widened.

“No, I think your direction is good, I do think, however, that the arrow isn’t on land. I think it’s in the ocean just before the equator.”

“Why there?”

“You can only see the north star in the northern hemisphere, after the equator it disappears. The further south you go the lower on the horizon it is, which means at some point it looks like it’s on the horizon or close enough.”

“So, you’re saying the arrow sits underneath the star at its lowest point?”

“That’s the idea.”

“Okay that’s good news.” Jason took a deep breath, raking a hand over his face. “I guess we just wait for night and keep following the star.”

‘Actually…” Percy grinned,

“You have a plan?”

“If we just have to get to the equator, I can take us there now.”

“How would you know when we’re there?”

“I know the coordinates at any time when I’m at sea. Son of Poseidon and all that.”

“Well I’m convinced.” Jason nodded, thoughts fluttering behind his eyes. “How are we doing this?”

“I think it’s time to call in a friend.”

With a low whistle, that defied the laws of nature, because how on earth do you whistle underwater, the God whipped a dazzling smile over his shoulder.

“Do I want to know what you’ve invited to the party?”

“You’ll see.”

Just then the water rushed around them. When the clouds of sand and swirling water disappeared a beautiful, iris-coloured beast revealed itself, along with a cyclops already barreling towards them.

“Brother!”

They slammed into each other and Percy was grateful for his godly bones, because he’s sure his mortal ones wouldn’t have survived that collision.

“Hello Tyson, how are you?” He laughed in relief, in comfort.

“I knew I’d see you. A school of firemouth-killfish passed by and said you were around.”

“Thank you for coming. I’m helping Jason and I need Rainbow’s speed.”

“Of course, brother. What are you doing?”

“Jason has a quest to find Eros’ arrows.”

Finally Tyson looked over Percy’s shoulder to see the demigod still wrapped in a bubble, bobbing behind them.

“Jason. I haven’t seen you in a long time.”

“Hello Tyson, how are you?”

“I am good. And you are good?”

“Yes thank you. How’s Ella?”

His brother flushed a red as bright as Corallium.

“She is nice, fine.”

Percy decided to put the poor cyclops out of his misery and focus their attention on the mission at hand.

“Rainbow, can you take us where we need to go?”

The hippocampus gave a noise of agreement and brushed its head along Percy’s arm.

“We must be off,” He said, turning to Tyson.

“When will you be back?” A brown eye blinked in question.

“As soon as Love finds us, I guess,” Percy winked.

It was Jason’s turn to blush the colour of coral, but the god was already looking away, turning to hug his brother.

“I will see you soon Tyson.”

“Goodbye Percy,” and with a wave to Jason the cyclops was gone.

“Alright Jas–“

Percy had felt the deepest senses of fear and love and sadness many times, but never in his twenty years of life had he felt such raging, storm-filled anger. For standing behind an oblivious Son of Jupiter, ready to pounce was a sea creature that probably spawned from the depths of Tartarus itself.

It hadn’t noticed the God, or it wouldn’t even have dared come close to this space.

With a light brush against Rainbow’s side, the hippocampus disappeared. He turned fully, focusing on the beast, hiding himself within the folds of the current. He watched as it slithered out it’s tongue in sickening excitement.

“Jackson you were in the middle of saying something?”

He didn’t bother replying as the creature looked up, finally taking notice of everything other than his prey.

“Hello, found something to enjoy?”

“What?” Jason said

“This fight it not with you Percy Jackson,” It gurgled

Before they could take their next breath, the monster swiped its tail through the bubble and slammed Jason to the ocean floor. Something cracked, the demigod did not rise again.

Percy’s smile was sharp and terrifying.

“That,” He laughed, “Was not very smart.”

With a single movement of his fingers he wrenched the water from the monster’s body.

It seized and gasped, flopping about in the air pocket it found itself in.

“The fight is always with me if it involves my friends,” Malice dripped from the God’s lips.

The monster tried to respond, try to splutter and roar but there was no water in its gills. It gasped and writhed, attempting to escape the air.

Percy simply smiled, darkness gleaming in his green eyes, and watched as the Ketos Troias suffocated.

“Jason slayed you when he was fourteen, just a young demigod, but you decided to come back and oh what a horrible mistake that was,” He wondered briefly if he sounded as manic as he felt, and then decided he didn’t care. “Because now, now you have to deal with me, and I will not make it pretty.”

“I will kill you Percy Jackson,” It rasped.

“You can try.” He laughed, and then spat, “And it’s Lord to you.”

Its eyes widened as Percy revealed his godly form, golden light basking him. With a final roar, the monster turned to dust.

He heard a gasp from below and saw Jason finally coming to it, pushing on the walls of the new bubble Percy had formed around him.

“Are you okay?”

“Feel like I’ve been smacked with a ten-ton sledgehammer and I may have a broken rib but otherwise dandy.”

“Oh good, here’s some ambrosia.” He handed a small square to the demigod who nodded in thanks and gobbled it down.

“Was that the Trojan Sea Monster?”

“Yes, seems it was feeling revengeful.”

“Did you send it back to whatever hole it came from?”

The grin that graced his face could kill mortals, “It’s scattered in the deepest depths of Tartarus. It shouldn’t bother you in this lifetime again.”

“Shall we go then?”

Jason stared at him, and grinned back.

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One of the strangest things I’ve ever googled was “type of fish off the Liberian coast” because i needed Tyson to be accurate when he told Percy fish had been talking to him. So yes firemouth-killfish do in fact exist and they do reside in the North Atlantic Ocean. Liberia is around where i pictured the two would be at this point. Anyway just some fun fic A/N’s for ya.

How are you guys finding it? Tell me your thoughts because i am inexplicably in love with Dark!Percy and i need to know if others are too????

Tags (if you want to be added to/ taken off the tag list just let me know, all my channels of communication are open):

@thepersonyourparentswishyouwere @lesbian-peanuts @thegirlwiththegoldenarm @thatis-americas-ass @whatevertakesmyfancy @lucyisblue @lrelikohll @tmifangirl24 @queenkivi @nishlicious-01 @whitelacepants @leydiangelo @urbanpineapplefarmer @queen-of-demons-and-hell

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cardigan-guy · 3 years

Text

Something I need to talk about or I’ll literally evaporate

Around the time this all started I was 14. I had only recently discovered a passion for theater (and fashion) and as a result I wanted to get in good with the theater kids. Sure enough, my closest friend also did theater. We auditioned for the Fall play, and I made it. I got to know some people pretty well. They liked me too, at least, I think so. Can’t be too sure of who to trust when everyone around you is an actor. Regardless, I was feeling pretty good about myself.

One of my struggles, throughout most of my short life, has been that I am an incredibly picky romantic. Maybe it’s just my intuition, but if I don’t think something is going to work out between someone and myself, I snuff it out at the first possible opportunity. It’s a skill to be able to break up with someone, that’s for sure. However, I had a bit of an entitlement complex. I thought I deserved love just for being who I was. My 14-year-old ego was raging. It wasn’t cool. It probably wasn’t helped by the next person I met, whose influence on my life has been astronomical.

I can’t use her real name (I like to remain semi anonymous), so we’ll call her Marie. I thought she was the most beautiful girl in the world. How we met was a complete accident.

It was the first day of winter. I had just entered a relationship. I was walking to where my friends ate lunch at. There was an eating area, surrounded by some bushes, in between where I was coming from and where I was headed. In this bushy area, I saw an old friend of mine and 3 of her friends. While I walked past she was in the midst of saying “My dog almost died last night.” Upon hearing this, I replied “Oh no, I love your dog!” And I walked away. Behind me, I heard -- or at least thought I heard -- someone say, “I love you [my name].” To which, of course, I replied “I love you too!” Biggest mistake of my life. I thought -- and secretly, hoped -- that it was Marie that said it.

School was let out for a two-week break. During that time, I tried connecting with my ill-fated match (truly, we were not meant to be), all the while I couldn’t shake what had transpired on that island in the middle of the parking lot. Eventually I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to know if Marie said it or not. I messaged her over social media, and asked, very bluntly, “Was it you who said ‘I love you [my name]?’” and she replied with “I don’t know. I say ‘I love you’ a lot.” After that interaction we just kept talking. I was fascinated with this beautiful girl who I had only ever met once. And she certainly loved the attention. I would text her nonstop, for weeks on end. One day, she gave me her number and asked to facetime. That only deepened my affection for her.

My previously-mentioned girlfriend at the time broke up with me. Not because I did anything, just because we wanted very different things. This, though a little sad, was more freeing than anything. It meant that I could put everything into this new girl that I’d met. And I went crazy. I was texting or calling her every minute of every day for months. We’re talking around the middle of December towards probably the end of February. In mid-January, it became pretty obvious to her that I had feelings.

“But I’m not allowed to date until I’m sixteen,” I said. She said she’d wait. I wasn’t going to be sixteen for another year-and-a-half, and here she was, saying she’d wait for me. She even put a little ‘two years’ after my name in her contacts. My heart was fluttering. I was so hopelessly, desperately infatuated with this girl. We kept going. I’d text her day-in, day-out, and there was never a problem.

But that was the problem. I was very, very, interested in Marie. My entire mood depended on her. Late one night, around the end of February, I called her. I told her I couldn’t talk to her anymore. That it was too painful to spend every day talking to someone I loved but could never have for myself. And what I said to her, while she cried over losing me, was,

“Eat your greens.” and I hung up.

Thus, I entered the pit of despair that the Gregorian calendar calls “March.” It sure as hell felt like a March. Every day I was trudging through feelings of loneliness, longing, anger, self-doubt. I wasn’t doing better. It felt like it would be easier to just go back. And guess what I did?

I went back.

It took me less than a month to go back to Marie -- partially, because I was thoroughly convinced that I loved her, but partially because I knew that her presence in my life made everything a lot easier. It gave me a small sense of purpose. And it was a never-ending cycle of one of us leaving because our feelings were too much. Because I loved her or because she didn’t love me. Because of how she felt about herself. It was torment, and it was a lot of back and forth.

This brings us up to the night before memorial day that year. Her brother was in my grade, and we had known each other because we both were in the Fall play together. He invited me to sleep over at his house the Sunday prior to Memorial day. I’d slept over at their house before. Seeing her there was a regular occurrence, but, more often than not my attention was turned to whatever her brother wanted to do out of politeness. Though, vine compilations do get boring after a time.

Somehow or other, all three of us ended up cuddling on their trampoline in the backyard. It was a little uncomfortable at first, but I got used to it. We just sat there, talking, staring at the sky. It was a beautiful May night. Her brother had fallen asleep spooning me, so it became just her and I talking. She said I was a good to cuddle. I looked at her. She looked at me. She told me she wanted to kiss me. She said she was afraid to kiss me. I said it was okay. I lied. We kissed. We kissed again. She went inside. I stayed there and watched stars fall from the sky as I felt my heart soar into heaven.

When I woke up, I was in hell again.

After that I don’t remember much. I know we stopped talking once the summer began. I don’t remember why. I know we went to the pool once. I remember thinking she was beautiful. I remember visiting her house a couple times during the summer. After that, it’s nothing.

We went back to school, and it was very unlucky that we were basically apart of the same friend group. I had yet another girlfriend (at this point I’d given up on ever dating Marie) and my girlfriend’s friends, my friends, and sometimes Marie and her friends, all ate together. Time passed, my girlfriend and I broke up and my best friend and I were eating somewhere new.

Eventually, we all got resettled and started eating with a teacher we all liked, called Mr. Johnson. He was a really great teacher and a really great, caring guy.

It was around this time that I lost my grandfather. He was a huge influence on my life. My grandfather was so full of compassion and a lust for life. He really believed in helping other people. I can’t remember much from this period of time either. My memories start to recollect around November of that year.

My best friend was done with me. So was Marie. So was everyone else I know. They wanted nothing to do with me. They were upset that I was upset. That’s all it really was. Marie was upset that I was upset with her and my best friend was upset that I wouldn’t talk to him about how upset I was. So I was going into the new year with a very minimal amount of close friends and tons of grief.

It went on like that for a month or two. My best friend eventually forgave me. Marie came around too, but that took a little longer.

I remember, one night, I was with two of my good friends when Marie called me. She said,

“[My name], I cut myself, and it’s really deep. I’m scared.”

When I got home, I snuck out the back door and ran to go see her. She was at the local park, smoking with her friend and her brother. I was a little disappointed. I ran up to her to go see her. she invited me to come smoke with them. I obliged. I hated every second of it. The fact that she was using the drugs as a way to hide from what had happened. It didn’t sit well with me. I was worried about her. I was terrified for her.

I just remembered that happened before my grandpa died and not after, sorry.

I guess the clearest point of this all that I can think of was March of the new year. We were pretty close.

Things got intense. More intense than they had ever been before. We started exchanging photos. Sexting. At the expense, I think, of really confronting how we felt. We settled for something that bordered on reality, but was very far from it in practice. However, an almost-good thing can never really last.

In late April, she came out to me as a lesbian.

I don’t have anything against lesbians. This particular occurrence has happened to me numerous times, in fact. It’s a little sad but I try not to think about it too much. I actually talk to one of my lesbian exes a lot. It’s nice. Their love for women is much more akin to mine than any of my straight male friends.

Marie and I didn’t talk to each other for three months after that, until late one night when I was traveling. According to her, my timing was excellent. While I was across the country, she was staying with a friend, and one of the people who was with her was applying great pressure to engage in some activities. Knowing that I prevented this was a small little victory for me.

I called her again the night after that. This time, she was at home. It didn’t take long for things to get intimate. At least, as intimate as you can get over the phone. Writing this right now, all I can think of is how much I hate that it happened.

Things went on like this for some time. We were semi-intimate with each other and we were each other’s emotional punching bags when we needed one. And we were both okay like this until one day, things really took a nose dive.

I was sitting in one of our schools many outdoor areas, leaned up against a fire hydrant, talking to my friends. I’m always looking for Marie at this point, and eventually she comes up to me and she says,

“Don’t be mad.”

“Why would I be mad?”

“My friend invited me to have a threesome with her and her boyfriend. I think I might go. Please, don’t be mad.”

“It’s okay, I’m not mad.” I was furious.

My inability to confront people is one of my more toxic traits. I feel that this particular instance really demonstrates that.

The bell rang, and she walked away, and I walked away. I spent my next two classes with nothing on my mind but how mad I was. When I didn’t see her at lunch, it only upset me more. I felt like I was nothing to her. She was my rock, my everything, but I was always secondary to her. It’s not like we were together or anything, but it still hurt quite a bit. I thought we had some sort of understanding.

I was walking to my locker, just trying to put all the extra energy I had somewhere. I had to get books for my French class, which Marie and I had together. As I’m walking, I’m not really looking up or around me because I’m so withdrawn from everything. So, it’s not surprising that I didn’t see her walk up to me. But I did see her try to hug me, and my immediate response was one that I will regret for some time.

She comes up, out of nowhere, to hug me, and instead of embracing her, I catch her arm before it can come up under me, and push her away. And she goes back about two feet. And I walk away. And I’m about twenty feet away before I realize what I did and call her to apologize. And the she comes and finds me and yells at me. And then we didn’t talk for another two months.

But come November, we’re talking again. And come November nineteenth, I’m her boyfriend. And we slept together. And we were always on top of each other wherever we were. And I think it distracted me from how much I sucked. I changed, and for the worst. I no longer tried to love her. I don’t think I wanted to. I think that everything that happened between us made me a much worse person.

Eventually, we did break up. It’s been, I think, a year now since then. I’m sorry if this isn’t a very well-put piece of writing. I did try to make it enjoyable. The details get a little fuzzy. I just needed to get this out there.

For whoever ends up reading this. Trust me, it gets better. There is better out there for you. If something isn’t meant to be, it really isn’t meant to be. True love waits.

#love #true love #soulmates #twin flames #hopeless romantic #romance #tw: abuse #tw: self-harm #sorry

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artificialqueens · 5 years

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untitled melodrama (sharolet) - melody

A/N: I’m happy to announce that I wrote something for the fic challenge!! I started writing this a while ago with this crazy idea I got and BOOM i saw it was one of the tropes, and then I got the other one. I used the following clichés/tropes: ’‘4. A and B are childhood best friends or neighbors’’ and “8. A and B reunite after a long time apart.” and hope you like it + “lesbian au” from the bonus list. @artificialmeggie thanks for beta reading, and for handling me freaking out because of this fic many times heh. - I wrote this for someone, and that’s the dedicatory to her: I’m sorry, and I admit I have blood in my hands on writing this I just want to let you know I love you, before I fade away as the memories.

‘’C’mon Violet, you have to sleep.’’

‘’Uh, that’s a no for me,’’ Violet replied, grabbing the pack of Cheetos beside her even if the girl near her stared at her with a serious terrifying expression.

‘’It’s late!’’ Sharon complained, patting Violet’s head.

‘’Huh, can’t you be awake? Oh, wow, you’re so tough Sharon Needles.’’

Sharon smirked and pulled her out of bed while the sound of Violet’s melodical laugh filled the room. ‘’I can, I’m only saying that because it’s time for the baby, which means you, to sleep.’’

‘’Fuck you. I’ll only sleep if you stay. Now.’’

A soft sigh was let out from Sharon’s mouth, Violet knew she was trying to find a way: she always did. Even if she seemed badass and the kind of girl who would leave her sleeping alone,Violet wouldn’t ask her to stay without telling her to go fuck herself.

‘’I can be a little rebel and sleep here, but sleep!’’

Violet yawned, resting her head on Sharon’s shoulder - Sharon’s cheeks were red as a tomato. ‘’Good, because I’m gonna need you anyways, I’m gonna need your arms…’’

‘’You want me to cuddle and protect you, don’t you doll?’’ Sharon petted Violet’s long black hair making the girl blush. Violet Chachki never blushed ever. But when Sharon said that, her cheeks turned red immediately, but she would never show it with words.

She called her ‘’doll,’’ she had the right to blush. Or, maybe she hadn’t, they were friends, she had to repeat that to herself in her mind multiple times before saying something that would distract Sharon of how flushed Violet got.

‘’I don’t need protection, but if you wanna choke me with those arms I wouldn’t be mad.’’

‘’Me either, but I think my mother-in-law wouldn’t be very happy with that, would she?’’

‘’Your who?’’ Violet blushed even more. ‘’My mom would kick your well-kicked ass. Now put your dumb arms around me and cuddle me, I’m sleepy.’’

‘’Was that soft Violet speaking? Cutie.’’

‘’Shut up, I’m cold.’’

Violet was aggressive, a true spoiled brat. She only let a few friends see her soft side with a bit of her personality of course - it was her true self when she let herself blush at what other people said - Sharon was one of them… Was Sharon one of them? She wasn’t sure if friends did the stuff she did, but she was glad anyway: glad to feel like herself when she was with her.

Glad to be herself, glad to have Sharon beside her, helping sleepy Violet to get in her pajamas. She was glad that Sharon kissed her goodnight - on the cheek, but it had its turn to make Violet red over and over again- and that her arms were around her; all Violet could hear was her heartbeat, her soft sighs - all Violet wanted to whisper was an ‘’I love you’’ and let it go out with the cold wind that blew from her open window.

But she couldn’t, so she wished she could freeze in it. Too late, Sharon was there making her warm.

[…]

A cup of coffee was all Violet needed on that rainy morning. As a teen she used to be addicted to coffee, and drank it recklessly; as an adult she needed it - otherwise she would not function. Now back in bed in her red silk pajamas, she reached for her laptop, the essay she had to write for college wouldn’t write itself, and a rainy day like that one suggested that it was time for some work.

As a college student life was like that: a lot of coffee, essays to be done before they’re due. Her fingers worked fast; she was doing it at last moment since the essay was for tomorrow. The sound of the laptop keys furiously being hit by her long black nails indicated that Violet was a fierce girl - she wouldn’t give up just because she forgot to do it; she had coffee at her side.

Violet Chachki was an aspiring model who came to the city of New York to pursue her dream. As a teenager she was told that she had danger in her eyes and could cut a bitch with grace. Violet was pretty but poison and that attitude helped her to survive. FIT was crowded snobby rich people who mocked Violet for living in her small flat and for not having a large amount of money even if she seemed to. But Violet was a fighter, and she wouldn’t give up; she was a fighter, and it reflected in the aggressive way she typed her essay.

Her dreams were too beautiful to not be followed, so the only thing she could focus on right now was on the screen of her laptop and in the words flowing in her mind. She couldn’t wait for when she finished it; she had gone for months without dating anyone or going to parties because college was too rough - fair enough, her parents spend a whole lot of money on her future, no time to be a dumb young adult now.

When she was done, she breathed in victoriously looking at her essay. Mostly, her teacher hated everything she wrote but her flawless essay about the history of fashion was more than just an essay: it was an essay she wrote with all her rage, love, and caffeine. Violet liked feeling so confident when she finished her stuff, she felt on top of world, like the queen of her own planet - she could do whatever she wanted now.

Whatever she wanted meant being a dumb young adult and swiping on Tinder. It was the last essay she had to write, and finals were far off; she could finally breathe. She only loved one girl in her whole life, when she was a teen. It was the only time Violet opened her heart for love and fully embraced it, such a shame that the girl walked away… Since the day, her heart became stone cold, and now she only looked for silly hookups when she felt like it.

Too creepy, too boring, too straight girl looking for a threesome with her boyfriend… Or Violet was too picky, or Tinder really wasn’t her cup of tea. She was about to give up when somebody caught her attention: a woman with black hair, black eyes, and plump black lips. She had strong facial features, and this look that spoke deep to Violet’s soul - that definitely reminded her of why she was a lesbian. She reminded Violet of someone, but she was so hypnotized by the picture and the instinct of liking it that she couldn’t bother.

What she thought it was most strange was the name. That girl didn’t put her name on her profile only an ‘’S’’. She thought it was mysterious, kinda sexy… Violet wanted to meet her stranger so badly, her heart almost did backflips when she saw that they got a match.

She was feeling kinda dizzy, nauseated by the feeling as her heart was trying to tell her something. Nah, it was the lack of sleep, another cup of coffee would help.

[…]

All the people didn’t matter to Violet in that moment, not even her friends waving at her from the table where they always used to sit. She was looking for Sharon, of course she was. Every day at lunch was like that, Violet’s heart skipping a beat when she found the dark haired girl and her hypnotic laugh. Her heart skipped even more when Needles wrapped her arm around her waist, in front of all of her cool friends.

‘’Hi princess, how are you?’’

But she was her friend too, right? Violet was always in this awful denial, she knew what she felt - the blush on her cheeks, the heart palpitations, the glow in her eyes every time she looked at Sharon - but being in denial was better than facing that she loved Sharon with all her heart, if she did she could let her heart be broken: Violet Chachki could never. But that love was so hard to hide, Sharon didn’t make that easy because well… Sharon was just Sharon, and that was why she loved her: she loved her qualities, and her flaws, all that composed the beautiful piece of art of Sharon Needles - a unique piece to look at, then when you looked at the details, you would fall even more and love with art suddenly.

‘’Good.’’ was all she could reply, indifferent because she was absorbed in her thoughts.

‘’Oh, okay.’’

Sharon looked away and sighed: if Violet knew how to be indifferent, Sharon knew even more. Sharon’s other friends looked at them with curious eyes, Violet knew them only by sight but suddenly she was very worried about their judgment.

‘’…Didn’t meant to be a bitch’’

‘’I guess you had a tough morning didn’t you?’’ Sharon smirked. Gods, Violet loved her smirk so much. “I’ll take the apology’’

‘’I do not apologize. Bye bitch.’’ Violet threatened to leave.

‘’Nah, I know you’re staying.’’

Violet blushed, only a whisper could be heard.

‘’I swear, when will these two get together? Oh my god-’’

Never. That was the answer, even if Violet stayed at that table and ate her lunch trying to hide her love for her friend, even if they flirted and acted like they were together, even if Violet got a lot jealous whenever Sharon flirted with another girl, even if Sharon made her feel like the most loved girl in the world with the excuse they were just friends… They never would get together.

[…]

Days later, it was a Friday night. Seven thirty. Violet looked flawlesswaiting for the mysterious girl. Still mysterious, because she didn’t reveal who she was when they started talking; it could be some creep but in a restaurant full of people it would be hard for her to do shady stuff. It was all part of a game, Violet knew well how to play it, her life was too boring to be honest - her dreams were big, but some classes in college made her want to sleep forever - a little fun wouldn’t be bad. Something about S made her heart skip a beat like she did when she was a teenagerwhen she fell in love; she liked it.

S was funny and mysterious, and vaguely mentioned she was in NY for some time off college in her hometown. In their talks she seemed to be the most addictive person Violet ever talked with. There was something about her, this aura she couldn’t distinguish… She kept calling Violet her princess which made her not think with her brain anymore. Well, she had a pretty free time; why not fall for that sexy stranger? It was just a hookup anyway. Just a silly hookup, right?

All the people outside weren’t her, Violet was starting to get impatient, after all itcould be just a prank. Violet felt humiliated, she could never be treated like that - she had a big ego, when broken it made her go insane. That’s why she treated the woman who asked for her information so badly, and almost broke her heel stomping her feet on the floor. Did she even exist or was just a daydream of her mind?

Her profile picture reminded her of the first girl she loved, Sharon Needles - and she remembered the moment so clearly, when her brain started to get confused and she had to stare at her screen for five minutes in a row. Maybe she was projecting her after all these years, Sharon was in Pittsburgh, it could never be her it was geographically impossible… Just a projection… Violet was starting to go crazy.

‘’Hey doll, found you.’’ In a second the stranger was standing next to her.

Now Violet thought she was crazy. She really looked like Sharon… But it couldn’t be, Sharon stayed in Pittsburgh, was following her dreams with her band probably, and they never spoke again. S was in New York, it was just a ridiculous ressemblance. But even her voice… No. Violet had to forget Sharon again - she never forgot her completely, in some moments like that she had to take her out of her system, but she always came back into her mind like a kind of witch. She had to do a witch hunt now, because S was in front of her looking like a goddess of the night with her black long sleeve dress.

‘’Wow you’re real, and late.’’

‘’Hm looks like somebody here is a brat, am I right?’’

Violet was quiet, the other woman bit her lips and stared at her silently getting a lock of Violet’s black straight hair in her hands.

‘’S-sorry.’’ Violet never apologized, but the goddess in front of her was just so hypnotic that the words came out of her mouth as an impulse.

‘’Good, I’m very glad to meet you. You’re even prettier in real life.’’ She kissed her hand.

‘’You too, damn that… Personality.’’ Violet bit her lips

‘’Oh boo, don’t worry I know you were staring at my body.’’

Violet blushed.

‘’…May we come in, princess?’’

S was just amazing, in many aspects she reminded her of Sharon - even in the personality. But she wasn’t like Sharon, she was… More mature than her, a crazy voice in her mind told her. It was an adult and more mature Sharon, but it was impossible - Sharon had a selfie in Pittsburgh taken two days ago, not that Violet stalked her still… Or maybe sometimes she did.

S, right, she had to focus on S. The dinner was just amazing. It wasn’t just another girl trying to get in Violet’s pants. S actually listened to her and was attractive and addictive at the same time. Violet felt like a teenage girl again to the girl talking about rock bands, babbling about cigarette brands, any random topic could be fun when S’s beautiful voice said it.

‘’What do you mean you don’t like Jennifer’s Body?’’

‘’It’s not horror, it’s a bad movie.’’

‘’It’s my favorite movie!’’ Violet pouted, feeling the wine starting to take effect in her brain - drunk Violet was a little bit whiny. ‘’It’s funny and very horror.’’

‘’Violet, sweetheart how many horror movies have you ever watched?’’

‘’Hmph, four, maybe five. Six with Jennifer’s Body aka the most important cinematic work of the century, duh.’’

‘’Jennifer’s Body it’s not horror!’’

‘’It has blood, it is horror, and my point is the only valid point bitch.’’

‘’Watch your mouth’’ S’s voice was low now. Fuck.

And more food - and wine obviously - arrived, and more topics came into the table, until they were drunk and laughing… Was that S’s hand on her thigh?

‘Why don’t you reveal your name to me?’’ Violet babbled.

Did she just saw the other girl gulp and shake?

‘’Because it wouldn’t be fun, sweetheart…’’

‘’Why not?’’ Violet pouted. ‘’C’mon you’re gonna see me like once in your life, why are you so mysterious?’’

S stopped and placed her hand over Violet’s, caressing it like it was the most precious thing in the world: ‘’You will have to find out… Don’t you like little games?’’

Violet bit her lip, she surely knew how to win her.

[…]

Usually, Violet loved parties and to be the center of attention, but in this one she was just sitting in the corner of the room with what should be her third drink for the night. Teenage parties were messy, but Violet was pretty and modelesque so everyone wanted to look like her, to party like her. In this one, the always shiny and attractive Violet was a sad figure even if looking flawless as always.

Her friends dragged her there, when she didn’t want to see the world that night. The reason? It might or not be the fact Sharon would be there, and Sharon at parties was one thing: a womanizer. A lot of girls would follow her, ask her to dance, or have drinks bought by her… And none of them would be Violet, she was in parties with Sharon before - she was always just her pretty friend, the one who helped her going home after drinking too much.

She just didn’t want to handle this, not on that night. She decided to throw denial away and accept her love for Sharon. At firstshe felt free, but with the love the disappointing truth came: it would never work. They were friends, would never be more than that; even if they flirted, even if Sharon called Violet’s mom ‘’mother-in-law’’ a lot of times on a daily basis, if she told her beautiful things when they fell asleep in their little sleepovers, was dangerously close to her in a lot of moments, made her feel more special than anyone else ever did - Violet was sure she had no idea of how much - and was the love of her seventeen-year-old life… They would never be together.

Violet used to get everything she wanted in the palm of her hands, not getting the thing she most wanted in the world was upsetting enough. Now she had to see Sharon Needles in action, with a new girl every time she blinked - basically. Why did Pearl promise it would be fun? It clearly wasn’t, but her friends would never know why; they all thought Violet was just dramatic about Sharon.

Dramatic or not, she was sitting sad in the corner with a beer - a thing Violet hated, but it was the only thing to drink at that stupid party, and Violet couldn’t bear being there sober. Feeling the awful taste it had, and repeating to herself that she deserved it for feeling things.

‘’And why is the little lady sitting alone there?’’

‘’Oh I see that she let out the drinks and the girls to talk to her pathetically alone sad friend, very good for you Sharon’’ she thought, and gave her a smirk.

‘’I’m just…’’ She sighed. ‘’Bored’’

She was bored of all that situation, bored of having feelings for her, so bored that nothing would ever happen - boredom was sad, like a funeral, her heart was a funeral.

‘’Oh Violet, c’mon go dance, they will play a slow dance song soon! There’s plenty people here and suddenly you will find a girl who is not me to baby you.’’ she pretended to sob.

Why was she like that? Jesus!

‘’I don’t want to find a random girl to dance.’’

‘’Oh c’mon, you’re literally the prettiest girl I ever saw.’’ Sharon crossed her arms.

‘’I doubt, you saw so many, “Womanizer” by Britney is totally about you’.’ Violet tried to bitch to hide the fact it was more true than she would like to.

‘’Oh don’t you dare! What’s what I win for praising you, ugh.’’

‘’Shut up.’’ she laughed.

Why was she like that? Always making her laugh, when she shouldn’t, always making her heart beat, when she couldn’t let it beat…

‘’So what do you want, doll?’’

Violet would blame it on alcohol, even if she only had three drinks. But she got up and stared at Sharon, sighing: ‘’if there was nobody in this party, only us and the music, would you dance with me?’’

Drunk Violet was clingy as she never thought she would be, or maybe was the feeling. But she blamed the alcohol, even if she couldn’t.

Sharon was quiet.

‘’How would you do it?’’

More silence, Violet thought on making up an excuse. ‘’I’m drunk,’’ she could say. ‘’I’m probably gonna bang the next girl I find.’’ ‘’I’m on that days you know.’’ ‘’Fuck you,’’ all were acceptable excuses - once Sharon took her hand.

‘’Why don’t I show you?’’

Violet blushed, now Sharon’s hands were on her waist as the slow dance song started to play in the living room. It was almost the end of the party, people were wasted, some even were sleeping - but a few people who still could stand went to dance, all of them were couples. Very different than Violet and Sharon, but the girl was so close to her, her breathing on her neck, the sound of her heartbeat…

‘’I would hold you tight,’’ she whispered, ‘’because even if you don’t admit it you’re such a cute little thing I want like to hold you forever.

Violet’s bad defense mechanism would totally tell Sharon to fuck herself, but in that moment she couldn’t… She only could sigh softly with her head laid down on Sharon’s chest.

‘’…and we don’t need to be alone’’

‘’I thought we needed…’’

‘’Why?’’

‘’This party is so full of cute girls, I’m sure you would rather be dancing with them.’’ Violet confessed, it was hard for her to not form a sentence with her superiority complex showing, but at that moment she knew she couldn’t hide behind her mask anymore, she was just so vulnerable under the party lights.

‘’I would pick you, and you know it.’’

She was so close that for one moment she thought they would…

‘’Sharon!’’

It was Alaska, probably really drunk. Alaska was one of the many girls Sharon used to go out with, blonde, tall, and wore an excessive amount of lipgloss - but Violet had to admit she was pretty. Alaska awkwardly ran to her, completely breaking the moment.

‘’I need you.’’ She pouted, and then realized Violet was there. ‘’Oh!’’

‘’No need to worry, doll. What do you need?’’

And Sharon was gone, walking with Alaska in the party, probably to some room to ‘’help her’’ - Violet knew exactly what they would do. It was like the moment they just had meant nothing to her, as all the moments they had meant nothing at all; all the deep talks, the pretty things Sharon told her, the heartbeats… Sharon did it for everyone, and would never admit she would do it for Violet - She knew that if they both faced that they felt something for each other at the same time, they would never speak again, things would be weird.

Now Violet decided to truly get drunk, only alcohol would help her to process that night. She had to dance, as Kesha said in the song that played next, with tears in her eyes. […]

Stumbling on the stairs because the elevator was broken, drunkenly laughing in S’s arms, Violet was in ecstasy. Her kisses warmed Violet up while it rained outside in the cold night: the laugh, the kisses, the thrill. She felt something so good in S’s arms, something she hadn’t felt since she was young, something so vibing - maybe it was the alcohol speaking.

In the morning, her eyes opened to a big window and to the rain. When she turned to the other side, she saw a goddess lying by her side. S was truly so beautiful, she reminded her of Sharon over and over again - they had many sleepovers, she remembered waking up first just to watch her sleep, cursing herself so badly. But that girl wasn’t Sharon, she could watch her, she could be cuddled by her with no shame.

Except she didn’t know her name, she couldn’t be Sharon. No, Violet was totally crazy. She tried to make those thoughts go away and replace them with memories from the last night - the dinner, the kisses, S… It worked; she was smiling.

It was a pretty fancy apartment, with big windows Violet could never afford, expensive furniture, a big screen tv, a king size bed and the softest sheets she ever lied on. Violet wondered how could S afford all of it being a college student.

‘’It’s my aunt’s. She lets me crash here while I visit the city; she’s like rich or something. I bet she doesn’t even miss it.’’ S yawned. ‘’Good morning, princess.’’

‘’Oh that’s good, I was about to ask you to be my sugar mommy but I’ll have to ask her then.’’

‘’Good luck with it, to be honest even if she’s straight, I think you will get it for being so damn cute.’’

‘’Maybe you should kill her and take her money so I can be your sugar baby.’’

‘’Damn, I would like that.’’ S joked. ‘’We had quite a night, didn’t we baby girl?’’

Violet was red as the sheets that covered her body.

S petted her hair silently, and they remained like that. It was weird how Violet was getting attached to it, as something kept stopping her for being the good old cold-hearted Violet to that stranger, she liked the comfort of her arms so much. She just wanted to end that damn mystery, something was behind her ear telling her to question S about it.

‘’Now I really wanna know your name. Didn’t I win the game?’’

‘’You did… I just can’t tell you’’

‘’Why?’’ Violet crossed her arms ‘’Literally, of all reasons in the world, why?’’

‘’You know me.’’

‘’From where?’’

‘’Pittsburgh.’’

No, no, no. It couldn’t be, Violet felt like she was going to faint, the world got fast and all she could see was circles, faster and faster. Her hands were cold, and it was like she just saw her worst nightmare. It couldn’t be; she was too scared to ask.

‘’S-Sharon?’’ that was all she could say, in broken syllables.

The girl nodded. Fuck. Instead of fainting, Violet got up angrily and started picking up her clothes and getting dressed. She didn’t want to take a single look at Sharon’s face, after all those years, after all she did to her… After the day she broke her heart and made her never want to love again. She was there, she was there and they fucked. She was there and made her feel the exact same thing she felt in the past; she was there.

‘’Calm down I’m sorry-’’

‘’Explain!’’ Violet shouted angrily.

‘’I saw you gave me a like on Tinder. I had no idea you were doing college here; I haven’t seen you since you went to live with your godmother in Paris, since…’’

‘’Since you dumped me?’’

‘’If you wanna call it that…’’

‘’Keep. Fucking. Talking’’

‘’I saw you, and I already used ‘’S’’ in my profile because it’s mysterious and cool, but I tell people my name, I’m not that weird but… I really wanted to see you, and I didn’t know what you would do because of all that stuff-’’’

‘’Do you mean our feelings?’’ Violet yelled.

‘’Fuck, Violet. I messaged you, and when I saw you, I really-’’

Sharon wanted to see her, she wanted to see her. That little teenage girl feeling was still awaken inside her, she got butterflies in her stomach at the thought that Sharon Needles did all of that just to see her, but she couldn’t let herself fall again, she couldn’t.

‘’What about that Instagram picture? You really could be in Pittsburgh right now; it was two days ago.’’

‘’Do you know people don’t actually post pictures right after they are taken, right?’’

‘’In what world you live?’’

‘’Gods…’’ Sharon shook her head in denial.

‘’So what we do now?’’

‘’…I need time, to think, after all of this.’’ Sharon sighed.

Good thing she didn’t fall, she was wrong - the little young teenage Violet inside her was completely wrong.

‘’You need what now?’’ Violet was ready to lose her mind. ‘’I should be the one who needs time to think. What the fuck?’’

‘’You act like you didn’t do the same thing to me when we were freshmen You used to put a lot of anonymous letters in my locker and made me believe it was somebody else than you, and I forgave you for fooling me.’’

‘’Oh, I didn’t fool you. We were children Sharon-’’

‘’Stop being such a hypocrite!’’ Now she was yelling too.

‘’I’m not being a hypocrite, why do you always come back into my life like a fucking hurricane? You mess up my life all over, all over but…’’

‘’But what?’’

‘’But I love you.’’ Violet was crying; she didn’t even care about the ‘Violet Chacki never cried’ bullshit. ‘’I still love you, I never stopped loving you.’’

And they were kissing; it was a different kiss. It was hurtful, full of unresolved feelings all over the years, Violet was so messed up but she was never more sure of what she was doing. It just felt right, even if it was wrong. Violet started crying between the kiss.

‘’Shhh, it’s okay, please don’t cry.’’

‘’Fuck you!’’

‘’Let’s give each other a little time, I’ll talk to you tomorrow, take your time to leave and-’’

In a matter of seconds Violet grabbed her purse and mumbled a ‘’see you then’’ angrily. When she left the building, she didn’t even care if she never cried in public - she did, violently, it was her almost losing the love of her life over and over again. That was what she won for opening her heart again.

[…]

Weird was the word who could define Sharon in that day. In the weeks after the party, they were closer than ever, like they actually dated - Violet couldn’t help letting her blood boil every time she saw some girl flirting with Sharon, but she knew nothing could be said, just the fact they held hands on the way back home was enough.

But the other days were sunny in Pittsburgh, this one was cloudy and dark. On the other days Sharon laughed, on that day she was silent. On the other days they held hands back home, on this one the only thing in their way was the awkward silence. On the other days their love - or whatever they had - lived, on that one it was a ghost.

Violet questioned her, a lot of times. She was worried that something had happened to her; so silly, so naive. She saw the bags under her eyes, she saw how apathetic she was, she saw how she looked at the floor and couldn’t let it pass. So when they were almost in their neighborhood Violet stopped.

‘’Sharon!’’

‘’What?’’ She questioned.

‘’You know you are weird today, what’s going on?’’

Sharon sighed.

‘’Whatever this is I’m here for you, I’m worried’’

She sighed, again.

‘’Sharon Needles! What. Happened?’’

‘’I don’t know. The last weeks were so crazy-’’

‘’It will pass, okay?’’ Violet held her hand.

And Sharon took her hand off Violet’s abruptly. Silence again. Sharon looked into her eyes:

‘’I’m scared to hurt you, I always hurt you.’’ It was like somebody punched Violet in the face.

It was all her feelings, all the butterflies she had for Sharon felt the urge to be thrown out - with tears. She cried her feeling tears, and almost could heart the sound of her heart getting broken. Her hands were cold, and the love that one day made her feel so good violently hit her brain, hurting her, it hurt her… But it wasn’t Sharon, it was the situation.

‘’Do I bother you?’’

‘’No, what? I just don’t know what bothers me, I’m just scared of making you feel bad.’’

‘’You would never make me feel bad.’’ She cried in broken sentences. ‘’You always make me feel so good.’’

Sharon was in silence again. Violet could’ve said it in a lot of moments, but of all moments she picked that one - on that sidewalk, on that dark day, crying with no air in her lungs and cold hands:

‘’I love you, I’ve always loved you Sharon Needles.’’

And she told her everything, how and why she loved her. Violet was awful with feelings that weren’t hate, but that came out so naturally of her mouth. Her love for Sharon made all the boundaries she created for herself disappear, but broke her inside - but she was setting it free, setting it free to make herself free.

‘’…I feel so vulnerable right now’’

‘’I feel something too, I just don’t know what it is.’’

Violet was losing her mind: ‘’So why don’t we come back to what we were literally before today?’’

‘’Violet…’’

‘’Why Sharon, why?’’

‘’Because I can’t keep pretending, I can’t make myself feel bad this way, even if I feel whatever I feel for you. I don’t know what this is going to end I-’’

It was like the world was burning inside of Violet, she felt her breathing not working anymore. She was sweating, shaking, and her hands were so cold that it hurt. The tears couldn’t stop falling from her eyes.

‘’…I don’t know how to deal with my feelings, I don’t want to deal with my feelings’’

She could call her a coward, but Violet knew she wasn’t. Sharon wasn’t a coward for saying that, she couldn’t blame her, she really couldn’t hate that in that moment - and this was what she hated.

‘’But what do you feel for me?’’ Violet risked.

‘’I. Don’t. Know! I’m so messed up, that’s why I don’t want to risk.’’

Everything made her want to convince Sharon to stay, even if she knew she never would..

‘’But risking can be good sometimes… It’s okay if we mess up, I love you too much for being scared of a mess.’ Violet looked down with the heat on her cheeks, being vulnerable really wasn’t her cup of tea.

‘’No Violet, it’s not okay if we mess up!’’

‘’Why?’’

‘’Because we fucking will hurt each other even more! Don’t you fucking see it?’’ Sharon was staring to get angry, Violet blamed herself so badly, she kept repeating how dumb she was in her head.

‘’Will you get hurt if you stay?’’ Violet asked.

The answer to her question hurt more than a hundred knives stabbing her at once:

‘’I think so.’’

Silence, all over again that cold dark day.

She didn’t remember who said goodbye first, the rest of that day was a blank to her. She didn’t remember what she ate, or who she was after Sharon Needles went out of her life and left Violet on her knees, with all the love she had for her in the palms of her hands - fading away. She didn’t remember if her parents were home, or what was on TV, but just remembered the fact she didn’t sleep, she didn’t even blink properly. No words could be said; it was like somebody took her heart out of her chest and now she had to live heartless; Violet was a love zombie, a living-dead.

After that, she didn’t go to school for a couple of weeks. And when she was strong enough to come back to school, something took her down: Sharon and all of her girls. Alaska on Monday, Willam on Tuesday, Phi Phi on Wednesday… She saw her flirting with them between walks in the hallways or quick looks at lunch. She saw her tell them the same words she told her, to hold them, to feel something for them - was that the same Sharon who weeks ago told her she couldn’t deal with anything she felt?

Violet just couldn’t stand this, so luckily when her rich godmother asked her if she wanted to finish high school in Paris she didn’t twink twice - she said goodbye to Pittsburgh forever and ever. She always imagined Sharon dating one of her flings and that always hurt her so bad. She imagined her getting married one day; she imagined being invited to the wedding or seeing a picture of one of their kids on Facebook some day…

And she blamed herself for all her life, because she couldn’t stop Sharon from loving other people. Violet felt just so selfish. She felt so selfish for feeling the worse because it wasn’t her, she wished it was her beside Sharon in her garage band shows - being the girl who was there for her. But Violet was away, and Sharon was cold to her - warm to the others.

Life found its order like this.

[…] One day later, they met in a coffee shop. Violet didn’t look flawless as she always did, but a zombie version of herself: she was wearing sweats, and her hair was tied up in a sloppy ponytail. Violet had a lot of bags under her puffy eyes, which indicated she didn’t sleep because of the amount of tears she had in them. Sharon looked good as always, but she didn’t let it distract her; she knew what was going to happen.

She knew there was no happy ending. Violet wasn’t a princess needing to be saved, and Sharon wasn’t some brave knight ready to take her out of her sadness tower. Sharon Needles would never tell her she wanted to stay, it was unlikely - that kind of stuff only happened in fiction, not in real life: real life was sad, tough, and tasted like the strong espresso Violet ordered as soon as she got the menu.

Once their coffees arrived, Sharon sighed.

‘’I thought… A lot.’’

‘’And I know you wont stay,’’ Violet replied harshly, looking at her phone.

‘’Violet…’’ She tried to hold her hand.

‘’No.’’ Violet took her hand off hers. ‘’Sharon, I love you so much-” Tears started to form in the corner of her eyes.

She had to be strong, she had to deal with Sharon’s annoying silence, she had to-

‘’Please don’t leave me.’’ Violet sobbed, changing from water to wine, she couldn’t control it anymore. Everyone was looking at them, but for once in her life she didn’t care. ‘’Don’t leave me again, Sharon, please.’’

‘’I won’t, shh, shhh.’’ She held her hand again, rubbing it with her thumb.

After all of that Sharon was calming her down. Like the rainbow before the storm, except another storm would surely come. She just wanted to kiss her, to lie down her chest, to hold her hand, to laugh with her, to have the ecstasy of love back in her veins…

‘’You will…’’

‘’I won’t leave now.’’

She knew Sharon only would leave when she calmed down. Violet didn’t hate Sharon, she never did, she never could. She knew Sharon cared about her, she knew the girl felt something - as messy as it could seem. And she knew that she was there for her, she would always be. It was like they were soulmates, in a cruel world where a magnetic camp would put them apart with the strongest forces of disgrace; poor soulmates, in this cruel world where there was no happy endings, they would have to wake up some day.

Sharon heard her crying, was there for her, and once Violet accepted it, she paid the bill and left. Violet knew she was only staying a few more days in New York, and that she would never look for her. If it was just a hookup for her she didn’t know, but she really wish she kept focused on college; she just wished she was as heartless as she pretended to be her whole life.

After Hurricane Sharon there was no rainbow; only devastation, tears, and an espresso bitter as life could be.

#rpdr fanfiction #sharon needles #violet chachki #sharon x violet #angst #lesbian au #fic challenge #melody #concrit welcome #submission #rare pair

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docholligay · 5 years

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madegeeky replied to your photoset: This all goes back to what I was saying earlier,...

Not gonna lie, our of all the things in this show, Steve’s marriage is the thing I have the least sympathy for. The sheer unbridled rage I felt when he told his wife AS THEY’RE SITTING IN A FUCKING FERTILITY DOCTOR’S OFFICE that he’d had a vesectamy and he didn’t tell her makes me want to throw things. I think it’s an absolute show of how good the writing is that I don’t absolutely hate him and just this one part of him. BUT FUCK DO I ALSO REALLY HATE THAT PART OF HIM.

I think as a writer, you have to go to that dramatic extreme, because I think Steve’s method of coping is the easiest to pass off as “not a problem.” I don’t get mad at Steve, any more than the rest of them, because, I think, I’m more invested in what the story is saying about things than in him as a person?

Like I think it is horrible and unconscionable but I think the way Theo treats Trish is equally horrible and unconscionable (which causes me an endless amount of frustration because I see SO MUCH LOVE FOR HER as this Toxic Lesbian Bad Boy) And I think what Shirley does to Kevin is horrible and unconscionable especially considering her reaction to Theo coming at him, so I guess I see them all as like...narrative devices to prove a point? Does that make sense?

#madegeeky

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benevolentsam · 5 years

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Ode to Crappy Exes

Characters: Anna Milton/Ruby, Past Ruby/Lilith, Past Anna Milton/Mary Winchester, Kaia Nieves, Charlie Bradbury, Bela Talbot, Jody Mills Rating: Teen and Up Warnings/Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Prison, References to Drugs, Past Attempted Murder, Past Unhealthy Relationships, Fluff and Angst, Caring Ruby Summary: Ruby's ex-girlfriend is conspiring against her. That's the only reason why she ends up in Lebannon Minimum Security Prison. She knows how to handle herself in places like this, but what she doesn't know how to handle is the Ice Queen that she's roomed with. She vows to somehow melt Anna Milton's hard exterior. Written for @spnsafficchallenge // Also on Ao3

Ruby couldn't say she was happy to be entering Lebannon Minimum Security Prison. She'd been sold out by her ex. Maybe they'd ended on bad terms, but sending her to jail? It was low, even for Lilith.

She'd spent time in juvie as a kid, but it had been nothing like Lebannon. There were electrified fences all around the building, Ruby could hear them humming as the guard walked her forward. A girl with dark curly hair walked beside her, and she looked more nervous than Ruby felt. As they were shoved into the back of the van, Ruby placed a hand on her knee. The girl jumped, but she didn't shy away away from her. They huddled together as the guard locked them in.

"Don't look so nervous," a voice came from the cab. Another woman appeared from the driver's seat, not a guard but a prisoner. She looked too happy to be wearing a prison uniform. "It's not so bad when you get in there."

"I'm not nervous," the young girl beside Ruby lied. Ruby snorted loudly and she didn't even feel guilty. The girl glared at her.

"Look, I'm not saying I'm not nervous but hun..."

The girl couldn't have been any older than eighteen, but the way she pouted made her look like a child. Ruby almost felt sorry for her, but the kid had to have done something to end up in jail. Once they got through the gate, they were all the same. Ruby wasn't going to pretend any different. The girl moved away from Ruby, shuffling to the other side of the bench seat.

The guard opened the door and climbed into the cab, letting the redhead drive them off.

When they got to the prison, they were greeted by more guards. They had to go through the cough and drop routine, Ruby was kinda used to it but the young girl next to her was swallowing back tears. The shower, delousing powder, the medical, it was all humiliating as Hell. The guards probably did it on purpose, laughed about it to themselves later. In the end she was handed a bright orange jumpsuit and shoved into a holding cell.

The girl, Kaia she had learned, was put on the bunk under her. They were the only company each of them had, with the bunk across from them empty. In a few hours, or days, they'd be taken to their cells. Better than that, dinner was in an hour which would make up for the delousing.

"Hey, Kid, you looking forward to food?" Ruby asked. Kaia glared at her. She was nothing but skin and bone, her uniform swamping her.

"I'm not hungry," Kaia mumbled.

"Well, I guess more french fries for me then."

"You really think they're going to serve us french fries?" Kaia snorted. "They don't even give good food to school children, why would they bother feeding us properly." She was pacing around the room, wearing track in the floor. There wasn't much scenery in their little room, but she didn't seem content unless she managed to see all of it.

"You gotta calm yourself," Ruby said. Damn she wouldn't last if she was stressing herself so much. Ruby slipped from her bed on the top bunk so she was stood beside Kaia. The girl seemed hesitant, but leaned into Ruby. "What are you doing here kid?"

"Wrong place, wrong time."

If Ruby's heart didn't break she might not have been human. She knew what cops were like, pinning shit on people who didn't deserve it. Kaia was the poster girl for suspected criminal. She hugged Kaia tight, held her close like her own child.

"Don't worry, I'll look out for you," Ruby promised.

When it was time for dinner, they were escorted to the dining hall. The rest of the inmates were watching them with cat like reflexes, though the seemed curious more than anything. Kaia tugged at her sleeves. Ruby shot back a glare at them all for making Kaia feel uncomfortable, but none of them seemed so bothered. Especially not the perky red head that had driven them in that morning.

"You look a bit lost," she smiled. God she was way too perky. "You wanna sit with us?"

Ruby glanced at who us were, the most mismatched group of girls she'd ever seen. Still, they looked friendly enough and didn't mind Ruby and Kaia joining them. They took a seat at the table.

"I'm Charlie," the redhead grinned. The girl beside her rolled her eyes but still held Charlie's hand tight. "This is Bela, my bitch." Bela tilted her head, Ruby hadn't seen someone look so surprised and offended in her entire life. The pressure at her side increased as Kaia pressed herself closer to her. Charlie and Bela were having some sort of argument, not entirely serious but loud. The other women around the table ignored them both, so it had probably happened more than once.

The dining hall was emptier than Ruby expected. She thought the prison would be overflowing with how many people the cops tried to cram in them, but beside their own table there was one in the back corner that was full and a few other prisoners dotted about. There were so many free seats. Particularly around one woman, another red head but she kept her head down. Ruby couldn't help but stare - there was something about her.

"What you in for?" An older woman asked. Her hair was greying and there were wrinkles around her eyes, but she seemed nice enough. Motherly.

"My ex girlfriend called the cops on me for smuggling drugs," Ruby shrugged. "She didn't mention that it was her operation and I was only doing what she wanted me to, but whatever." She wasn't bitter about Lilith, not at all. Her fingers were twitching and she had to get up and do something.

She said nothing as she stood up and headed for the rec room. Not even Kaia followed her, although she could feel all their eyes on the back of her head.

Even eyes down red head glanced up as Ruby passed.

"Cortese, Nieves, get up."

There was a guy rattling the bars to their cell. He had an obnoxious look on his face, almost smiling as he watched the girls roll out of bed. The sky outside was still dark and the only light around was the fluorescent beam from the corridor. Ruby blinked at the guy, while Kaia hurried to get up.

"It's moving day, gather your things and go."

Neither of them had much to take with them, their commissaries hadn't come through yet so nothing was really theirs. They had the uniforms on their backs, a few spare clothes, nothing more. Ruby doubted Kaia would get anything anyway. It didn't look like the kid had any family. Ruby was lucky that her old friend Sam was enough of a sap to send her through some money. At least she'd have something.

They followed the obnoxious guard down the corridor and to the bunks. He stopped first halting Ruby, then Kaia. Her plimsolls squeaked on the floor as the guard pushed her down the line of beds. Most of the other girls were still asleep, but a few woke up when they heard Kaia.

"Welcome to the ghetto, Nieves," the guard grinned. Ruby started following her, but Smiley held her back. "Not you, Cortese, you're this way."

The fear in Kaia's eyes as Ruby was dragged away was that of a child left to a pack of wolves. There were silent tears rolling down her face and Ruby wanted to punch the guard. Someone needed to look out for that girl. Ruby was thankful when a women her own age with dark skin and wild hair took hold of Kaia's hand, held her close. Kaia sobbing onto the mystery woman's shoulder was the last thing Ruby saw before she was pulled down through another doorway.

The guard pointed to one of the rooms, well not quite a room but the walls were high enough. He was rough with her as he pushed her through the narrow entrance. Probably left a hand shaped bruise, and God wasn't it a while since she'd had one of them. It was just a shame she was a raging lesbian, maybe her and Smiley could have got along.

Ruby dumped her clothes on the free bed, sat down after them. The woman across from her was the loner red head from the canteen. Great.

"Stay on your side of the room."

"Don't you even want to know my name?" Ruby asked. The girl didn't even open her eyes, laid like she was sleeping - or dead. "Well, I'm Ruby. I don't suppose you'll be getting out any time soon?" Her eyes flew open, she had the most piercing stare.

"Not a chance, I'm in here for the long haul," she replied. "And around here, we use last names. Mine's Milton. Lose the cutesy attitude or someone will beat it out of you."

Wow, Ruby was not expecting that. Milton looked so angelic and peaceful, but her tongue cut like a knife. Like Ruby's used to, before she had to make everything into a joke. Milton had closed her eyes again, trying to sleep or maybe just shut Ruby out. Who even knew anymore? It was gonna be a lonely two years.

"What's the deal with the loner?"

Ruby had taken to eating with Charlie and her girlfriend every day. There was a couple of others who sat with them regularly; Jody, who everyone called Mama Bear, Meg, who was more sarcastic than even Ruby, and Jo, who was kinda quiet but Jody loved a lot. They were the most dysfunctional gang of people Ruby had ever met, but they were nicer than fucking Lilith so that was a plus.

And hey, Kaia was getting along great with her bunk buddy. Cassie Robinson had formally introduced herself and promised to look after Kaia like she had done with the others. Wrong place wrong time seemed to be the motto for the ghetto.

Then there was Milton, who hadn't so much as looked at Ruby the entire time they'd been sharing a room. She sat alone every meal, and God only knows where she went during rec time.

"Who, Anna?" Jody asked. She sent a cursory glance in Milton's direction. Anna Milton, Christ didn't she just sound so middle class. Almost as if she could feel them staring, Anna glanced up at them, her blue eyes still icy and cold. Jody didn't appear the slightest bit guilty. "No one knows really, she doesn't talk to any of us. I tried but, she doesn't really like my cooking so why would I try?"

Sometimes, Jody really did not give a fuck and Ruby admired her for it.

"She's in for killing a guy, that's all we know," Charlie chimed in. Well, Ruby could understand killing a guy. The amount of times she nearly killed Lilith's dick of a boss. Everyone called him Lucifer, and it wasn't hard to understand why.

"Babe, we don't know that," Bela stroked her arm. "I doubt she's in here for much - she's not really the violent type, is she?"

"Look at us, how many of us are actually the violent type?" Charlie asked. She was right, most of the people she'd met were in on drug charges. None of them had it in them to be violent, and Ruby cringed at the days when she used to be. The amount of people she'd hurt because Lilith had asked her to. She was a fucking idiot.

The table went quiet. Best way to bum out a bunch of prisoners? Just ask them about their crimes.

"There's something about her..." Ruby was still staring at Anna, couldn't help herself. No one paid attention, but she wasn't gonna give up easily. Ruby would make Anna talk to her, or Anna could fight her, rip her apart. She was just so fucking bored.

Ruby got up extra early, rushed down her breakfast so she could see where Anna went during her days. Unsurprisingly, they ended up in the library. Ruby didn't even know the prison had a library, not that she was complaining. Maybe she could get her GED while she was in there. That was all off topic though, for now she had to focus on Anna.

Ruby pulled out the chair opposite her, sat down and leaned on the table. Anna sighed.

"What do you want?"

"Why won't you talk to me," Ruby asked. Even from behind the book, she could feel Anna's eye roll. Ruby snatched the book, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, out of her dainty fingers. "Why won't you talk to any of us? We won't bite, you know."

"Yeah, but I might," Anna said. The pulled the book back but didn't open it up again, which Ruby saw as progress.

"Okay, so you killed a guy," Ruby shrugged. "Who'd blame you, men are awful. Doesn't mean you need to cut yourself off from the rest of society forever."

"I didn't kill a guy, I nearly killed a guy," Anna replied. That was unexpected. Ruby half thought Charlie had been lying about whatever rumours were flying about, but for her to straight up admit it was pretty hardcore. Anna must have take Ruby's stunned silence as a cue to continue. "I was young, and stupid, and there was this girl..."

Ruby had to laugh. There's always a girl.

"There was this girl, Mary. I knew her husband wasn't treating her right, she came into work with bruises and she'd laugh them off but her smile. There was nothing behind it. I'd watched her go from my cool, vibrant, best friend, to someone so quiet I could barely recognise her. And it was his doing, John's. So when she finally got the courage to leave him, and he started threatening her, I had to do something.

"As far as I know, he's out of hospital, out of prison, doing well with his life. And Mary went back to him. And I'm stuck in here, down my freedom, down the love of my life, and down one family for outing myself during the trial."

"Damn, that's some heavy shit." What could Ruby possibly say to comfort her? Anna glared at her, but it was a little warmer than usual.

"Okay, so now you have my tragic backstory, will you leave me alone?"

"You think that's tragic? Anna, you're a hero," Ruby frowned. "I don't care if Mary couldn't see it, or even if you can't, but you know how many people would risk their lives for someone? Not many, I'll tell you that. People are entirely selfish, be proud that you're not them."

Anna paused for a moment. It was like she couldn't meet Ruby's eye, like she was ashamed of who she was. Ruby's heart broke; Anna deserved better.

"So you're in here because of someone else?"

"Oh yeah, my ex-girlfriend ratted me out to the pigs," Ruby laughed. She was feeling less bitter about it by the day, but God she still wanted to strangle Lilith sometimes. "Told them I was smuggling drugs, didn't say I was doing it for her but you know - whatever's convenient."

There was a hand on her arm, a touch so light it could have been a ghost. She looked across and saw Anna's arm reached between them. Her nails were painted a pretty shade of pink, and all Ruby could think about was how short they were. Mind out of the gutter, Ruby. But the touch felt electric and Ruby couldn't think of much else beyond Anna.

"Here's to crappy ex-girlfriends, right?" Anna smiled. An honest to God smile on the ice queen.

"Here's hoping for better ones soon," Ruby added. Anna's grip on her arm tightened just a little bit, and Ruby hadn't felt hope like it in a long time.

Things were easier with Anna talking to her. Sure, they still spent meals and most of their rec time separately, but Anna was helping Ruby muddle through her GED. Once a week they'd meet in the library and they'd run through things Ruby thought she knew. Anna was kind about it though, never once making fun of her for getting things wrong.

The nights though, the nights were the best.

In there little room with half walls, they could be themselves in a way they couldn't share with anyone else. Ruby dropped her carefully constructed class clown persona, and Anna melted a little more with every night. They spoke in hushed whispers, but it didn't matter. They could speak in only gestures and it seemed the other would understand.

When Anna came to bed, her face a screwed up mess of tears, Ruby was ready to go on the warpath. But she was trying to change, so she hugged her friend and asked her what was wrong.

"It's Mary," Anna whispered. "She wants to come visit."

Ruby spiralled. There was no way that Mary wasn't coming to get back together with Anna. And Anna was probably still in love with her. So where did that put Ruby, and their half flirting, the longing touches between them. Bile rose in the back of her throat, but she swallowed it down. She had to be there for Anna, even if she got hurt in the process.

"Do you think she'll ask to get back together?" She asked tentatively.

"Fuck no, I think he knocked her up and I was the only one who ever cared about her," Anna said. "So of course she's gonna come to me. I don't even - I don't even know if I want to see her again."

"No one's forcing you to, and you don't owe her anything."

"I know."

There was a but, Ruby could sense it. She knew all of Anna's faces, and she looked so conflicted. If she could, she'd have told Anna to forget about her, ignore every plead and call because she deserved so much better. It wasn't that easy though, it never would be. If Lilith asked to see Ruby again, God only knew what she'd say.

But Anna said nothing more. She stayed on the floor, legs hugged to her chest, until the guards came for final roll call. The lights in their block flickered out. Ruby felt a hand reaching for her own.

"Can I -" Anna thought better of what she was going to say. "I can't be alone right now."

So Ruby slid across, let Anna climb into bed right next to her. She smelled of apples and earth. Ruby could picture the two apple picking in some Vermont orchard instead of stuck in a Kansas prison. They fit together in the single bed, legs locked around each other. It would have been peaceful, if Anna wasn't sobbing into Ruby's chest.

"So, are you guys like dating?"

Kaia was a cute kid, but she asked the wrong questions at the wrong time. There was nothing going on between her and Anna, not in the way Ruby wanted it to. Whatever they had though, it was something more than a friendship. since the whole Mary deal, Anna had kinda been walking around half dazed. It was freaking everyone out.

"Don't know."

"How can you not know? Just ask her?" Kaia questioned.

Ruby wanted to spit out it wasn't that simple, but in all fairness she was the one who went to a teenager for dating advice. As far as she knew, Kaia had had a pretty serious girlfriend before she was locked up. What serious meant to a kid, she didn't know.

Kaia had a point though. Maybe if she asked Anna what their deal was, she could finally get a girlfriend. Maybe get laid, who knew. She could also get punched straight in the boob if it turned out Anna didn't actually like her like that. God she sounded like a kid again. Maybe she was right to talk to Kaia.

"I'm scared if I ask her, this might have all just been a game to her, you know?" Ruby said. She looked out over the yard, where all the prisoners had been shoved out for rec time. No one seemed to be having much fun. "I don't know, some girls are just affectionate with their friends, right? So maybe that's all I am to her. I don't want to be."

"Ask her, it's better than not knowing surely."

Kid was three for three. Kaia gave her a look before disappearing, and a second later Anna's voice rang in her ear.

"What were you talking about?"

"Oh, I was just making sure she's fitting in okay," Ruby lied. She was completely fluent in the language of bullshit. "Cassie seems to have taken her in, which is good 'cause lord knows that kid needs some positive role models."

"You've been doing a pretty good job with her," Anna said. "You care about her a lot, it's really sweet. You know how you said I was unselfish? You are too. I know you don't act like it, but I also know that's a front. Be proud."

Ruby's heart burst open like a caged bird being let free. She wanted to feel like that forever, even if it meant asking the difficult questions.

"Are we dating?"

Anna blinked. In the few weeks they had been together, Anna's eyes had turned from an icy blue to a soft sea green. The light in them danced as Ruby waited for an answer. Silence had never felt so loud.

"Are we?"

Dumb useless lesbians. Ruby shook her head, almost wanted to laugh but she was one of the dumb useless lesbians involved in it all. While she still had Anna's attention, Ruby pulled her close and kissed her quick. They were in full sight of the yard, someone could see them so they couldn't spark flames like Ruby wanted. Anna's lips on hers were enough.

"I'm sick of crappy relationships, okay? I'm in for the long haul if you are," Ruby whispered, her face an inch away from Anna's.

"Told you that right from the beginning," Anna replied.

Lebannon Minimum Security Prison was a crappy place to call home, but Ruby's family? That was pretty okay. Maybe she had something to thank Lilith for after all.

#Spnsc #Annaby #Spn femslash #Spn ladies #Anna Milton #Ruby #Spn #Anna #ruby 2.0 #This came out waay longer than I expected #I am happy with it though #My stuff #My writing

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bencvolences · 6 years

Text

then there were two - self para

WHEN: december 25, 7:09am. WHERE: finn perks’ flat, london. WHO: sally-anne perks, finn perks. mentions of anne malfoy & jonathan perks, @susanbonvs, @lisaturpins.

Christmas morning. Sally-Anne had always been an early riser, but Christmas was historically a day when she awoke even earlier than usual. In past years, there was a certain chilled excitement in the air, and a feeling as though everything in the world was temporarily settled. It gave Sally-Anne a sense of peace.

This year, it was different. It could’ve been due to the absence of her parents for the first Christmas in Sally-Anne’s life, or perhaps it was the knowledge that the world was not settled, that a war still raged on and everyone she loved was still in danger. Most likely, it was both. But Sally-Anne still rose from bed at her customary early time, and made her way into her brother’s tiny kitchen. She was surprised, initially, to see Finn already bustling about and fixing breakfast in there --- but then again, she would’ve been silly to expect anything less. She and Finn were quite dissimilar in a lot of ways, but a proclivity toward early morning activity had been shared between the two of them since childhood.

“‘Morning, Sal. Merry Christmas,” Finn greeted her over the sound of sausages sizzling in their pan.

“’Morning. You slept well?”

“Well enough, yeah. You?”

“Alright, I guess.”

Finn looked up at her from his place by the stovetop, staring at her face wordlessly with the expression of a person contemplating something.

“What?” Sally-Anne raised an eyebrow. Finn was now grinning.

“I’ve got something for you.” He turned off the stovetop and disappeared into his bedroom, emerging after a moment and carrying something metallic-looking. Sally-Anne recognized it almost immediately.

“Dad’s watch?” She questioned, confused. “He didn’t take it with him? Why do you have it?”

“I went back to the house a couple months ago and saw that he left it on the counter. First I thought it was for me, but now --- I think he’d want you to keep it. I had the band adjusted, so it should fit...”

Sally-Anne was speechless as Finn approached and gently slid the watch onto her outstretched wrist, clicking it into place. The silver body was chipped and dented in certain spots, a natural result of their dad’s clumsiness and active lifestyle, but Sally-Anne could not think of a more perfect Christmas gift. As she stared at the watch’s face, she remembered sitting on her Dad’s lap as a little girl and watching the minute hand as it traveled over the various stars and crescent moons. Her eyes welled with nostalgic tears and she threw herself into Finn’s arms gratefully.

“Thank you,” she said quietly against his shoulder. Then, after a moment --- “Tell me we’ll see them again.”

Finn seemed to sigh as the two of them pulled apart. His eyes were somber, but they were not wet like hers.

“You know I can’t do that, Sal,” he replied, always the honest one to a fault. Finn leaned forward and planted a comforting kiss on her forehead, before turning back toward the kitchen to continue tending to breakfast.

“Finn, wait,” Sally-Anne stopped him, making a spur-of-the-moment decision. “While we’re alone ---” she shot a quick glance back toward the hallway, through which Susan and Laura still appeared to be fast asleep --- “there’s something I need to tell you.” There was a moment’s pause while Finn looked at her expectantly, and Sally-Anne tried to gather the strength to say the words she’d decided she wanted her brother to hear.

“I’m gay,” she finally breathed out, relieved to have said it aloud. Her brain urged her to continue, to explain about her realizations over the past couple months and about Lisa, Merlin, she wanted to tell him everything about Lisa and how in love she was --- but she was distracted when Finn’s expression split into a grin and he began to clearly chuckle under his breath.

“What’s so funny?” Finn was laughing outright now, something about Sally-Anne’s coming out clearly amusing him beyond belief.

“What’s funny is, Dad and I each owe Mum a galleon.” He paused, then when Sally-Anne still looked confused: “She called it, when you were ten or eleven or so. Told Dad you were definitely a lesbian, then when Dad asked how she knew she just shrugged and said she could tell. Then Dad told me, to ask if I saw it too. I didn’t, so we each bet Mum a galleon she was wrong. Should’ve known better than to think that woman could ever be wrong about anything.”

Sally-Anne simply stared in shock, unable to believe that her family members had been keeping a wager over her sexual orientation all these years, not to mention the fact that Finn appeared to be so nonchalant about what she’d just told him. When she didn’t say anything, Finn shook his head, still grinning.

“You know I love you, right? We all do. I’m really proud of you for --- living your truth, I guess, whatever you want to call it. Mum and Dad would be proud, too.” He looked awkward, for a minute; expressions of emotion did not come as naturally to Finn as they did to Sally-Anne. “So, is there a girl in the picture?”

"Yeah, there is,” she replied, a smile spreading across her face as her cheeks flushed. And the two of them sat down on Finn’s cramped couch in his cramped apartment and she began to gush about Lisa, and for one moment, just a moment --- everything was settled.

#anyway i'm crying bye #this got rly long but it's mostly bc of dialogue so pls bear with it #〚 ❝ and what a whirlwind she is too ❞┊self para. 〛

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gayerluke · 6 years

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wooooow my classmates were little pieces of shit today & i’m like. fucking livid.

first, one of the two normie cishet girls i go to lunch with managed to clock the trans guy in the new class & then told the other about it, & i was just like. sitting there in the car trying to figure out what the fuck & why the fuck this needed to be happening. (he’s a dude i vaguely know bc he works at the tattoo shop & i follow him on instagram.) & the girl that was just learning this information (same as the “i’ve never met a jew” girl) goes, “wait, so he’s female?” & i was just instantly like “NO he is male” “but he used to be female?” “NOPE HE’S MALE” like really awkwardly Struggling to figure out what to do but sure as shit not wanting to let them Do That. eventually i just said he was assigned female at birth bc i did not want to have this whole conversation unprepared sitting here in this car with two 21-year-olds. for what it’s worth the reason it came up is bc the girl telling the story had misgendered him out of his earshot & was feeling really bad about it, so like. she vaguely tried i guess, but also failed at the same time lol.

THEN in our fucking radiology class idk what she was talking about or to whomst but this one girl suddenly says loud enough for everyone in the room to hear “[REDACTED] IS THE GAY GUY” about the dude in the new class who is trying to become my friend. & the woman in front of her was like “what?? he is?? i don’t know who that is” so like she’s clearly very intrigued by this ~gossip (i mean he’s fucking married, we’re not in high school) even though she has no fucking clue who the guy even is. now all she knows about him is that he’s The Gay Guy & it’s just like. maybe he’s fine with it but he didn’t go up in front of the class & announce it, maybe that’s his fucking decision, maybe it’s none of your goddamn business. the girl who said it has a gf (she’s pan & says she “hates the word lesbian,” to which i replied, “oh? i don’t.”) & should fucking know better, like just because it’s 2018 doesn’t mean everybody has to be out to everybody or that you have permission to go around outing people. i just had to sit there for the rest of the class seething with fucking rage bc idk it just made me SO MAD. i considered talking to her about it but she wouldn’t have listened & i’m tired of everyone thinking i’m the Class Bitch but like. it was just fucking rude????

& i never mentioned it but one of the first year students was also saying some real serophobic shit the other day & i shut her down but probably not too effectively. she was talking about someone she knows who works in a care home & she was like, “they’re not supposed to disclose to the nurses when a patient has hiv, so sometimes they work without gloves but they could be touching some who has aids!” & after quelling my impulse to punch her in the face i was like, “wow, that’s really dangerous, people with hiv are immuno-compromised so the nurses could be spreading disease to their patients,” but it probably didn’t get through.

why are people gross!!!! schools are failing these dumbass babies!!! i feel so helpless bc i am not equipped to be giving these impromptu after-school specials & nobody listens anyway bc they think i’m just an asshole know-it-all when i’m actually an asshole know-more-than-you!!!!

#misgendering -#transphobia -#serophobia -#idk maybe i'm overreacting but i'm just like... fuckin pissed

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chaseprice · 7 years

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I have a question , how exactly is Chloe (LIS) Self destructive aside from drugs and alcohol? I'm genuinely wondering . There's the whole "Rachel saved my life " and that means she was suicidal at one point but as far as we know , didn't act on it and didn't self-harm through cutting herself . With her relationships with people and the way she lashes out, is that it ? ~Genuinely Wondering don't hate me

hey there! you seem to acknowledge a bunch of her self-destructive tendencies in this message already! not sure if that’s with the intent of writing them off (like, ‘if i say i recognize this stuff then i can’t be blamed for not agreeing with the sentiment that she’s self-destructive’) or whether it’s just because like, you are on the same page but just aren’t too sure about it/whether that stuff does make her self-destructive?

i mean, either way, i can talk about it a little bit if you want.

(cw self harm abuse self destruction etc) below

first of all, chloe using alcohol and drugs from the age of around 14/15 all the way up to her being 19 in canon as a coping mechanism is an extremely self-destructive one which shows very little regard for her health (mentally and physically), so ignoring that won’t be helpful in this conversation at all – it’s important.and as you’ve already said, yeah, it’s heavily implied she was at a point in her life where she felt that meeting rachel literally saved her, so lots of people do draw the conclusion she was suicidal, etc. but obvious indication of chloe cutting herself for example, isn’t needed to draw the conclusion that she’s self-destructive. she’s a depressed, abused, alone young girl – it’s likely already. the “I WANT TO DIE” letter in her and rachel’s hideout, her implying the thing she values most at the point where max comes back into her life is Rachel – getting rachel back, being willing to steal money for rachel, eventually getting drugged and kidnapped by the guy who she was gonna steal from, and then STILL goes to pursue him to blackmail him for money after that traumatising event, dedicating her life to putting up posters for her and doing nothing else in those 6 months – that’s clearly not healthy behaviour, chloe taking antidepressants already and having a history with trauma, ptsd/insomnia, therapists, counsellors. (plus, what’s to say chloe doesn’t self-harm! how would you know? you thinking scars on the arms of her character model? as if dontnod would put those in. self-harm isn’t only cutting wrists, though, just so you know.)it’s just… a given, really. textbook shit. but if you want me to go more into detail about her self destructive behaviour ingame that ISN’T alcohol/drug dependency – it’s mostly the… careless shit. the shit that implies she doesn’t give a shit what the consequences of her actions are. her getting involved with people like frank, dangerous drug dealers, from the age of fifteen. borrowing thousands of dollars from them and STILL going on the offensive despite knowing the risk – reaching to grab frank’s arm in episode two, for example. episode three: during her breakdown. just totally… sabotaging herself and her relationships. regretting it afterwards of course! messaging max and apologising but in the heat of the moment just, shouting and crying and getting mad upset without considering max’s feelings about it, just letting her rage consume her completely about the rachel shit – pulling out and reversing into moving traffic, driving fast while upset – doing the CLASSIC “bring up all the fucked up trauma during this one argument that isnt really to do with my trauma but fuck i’m messed up right now and it’s all because i’m messed up as a person and i’m messed up as a person because of THIS event etc.” manoeuvre. then……… still completely forgiving rachel the next day and still having rachel as her goal and shit even tho she was hurt immensely by her. endangering herself in front of frank/nathan the next day, bc she values max’s and rachel’s lives over her own. how about after they discover the body, and she tears off with the idea of running straight into the vortex club party and straight up murdering nathan? when max tells her she’ll get hurt – she says she doesn’t care, setting this right and killing nathan/jefferson (depending on convo) is the most important thing. in fact, the only thing that’ll get chloe to reconsider in that conversation, is if max says that she (herself) will get hurt. chloe only cares about max. not herself.plus, deck nine are doing a really good job of portraying that sort of mundane slow self destruction that chloe went through when she’s… basically still a kid. smoking & drinking & who she’s involved with, cutting class and saying she just doesn’t give a shit anymore, doesn’t feel anything for it, she used to but she’s run out of fucks and people just avoid her and she’s alright with that – that’s not fucking healthy for anyone, but she lets it happen, because she’s alone and depressed and sad (talkin about sad stuff: her messaging max at 2am just with the word ‘max’ continues to… kill me). her journal entries are great insight into how little she cares about her life at that point, right at such a sad point because, she’s… aware of it. can see herself slipping, but just lets it happen. i recommend reading ‘em. plus, people’ll probs disagree with me about this, because people tend to do that whenever i talk about gay stuff, but chloe fucking a guy right after her dad died because she was “lonely, [she guesses]” and being bored was definitely self-destructive. that poor baby lesbian. and when it comes to david abuse, she definitely… god, i definitely feel like she internalizes a lot of the stuff david says to her about being useless and a burden on her mother and shit, especially considering chloe’s ep 5 speech about herself being not worth it, herself being so selfish, her mother deserving better etcetera. i guess it could also be argued that her “provoking” david could be self destructive in a way since he’s physically abusive towards her and she knows it and shies away from him in ep 3 when he raises his hand etc but from what we’re shown in canon i think those times are more just her… standing up for max/her mother/herself. so yeah. chloe needs help and love and support. she clearly does not value her own life very much. anyway! it’s 5am and i’m tired. there are certainly more examples of her self destructive behaviour that i’ve probably forgotten to mention (people feel free to reblog and add on, or reply), but you were nearly spot on with your ask. just framed it in a… doubtful way, for some reason

#gotta love depressing chloe price talk #Anonymous

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almost-sweet-music · 7 years

Photo

Imagine: Your first kiss with each member

Murdoc: It was your birthday and you decided to go out to a club and party with the crew. Of course it didn’t get unnoticed but the extra attention didn’t bother you that much and you just went along with it. Around midnight everyone was drunk off of their mind. It wasn’t THE BEST setting for a first kiss but that was when it happened. You were bouncing around the room in a crowd of people as “Momentz” played from the speakers. That was surely a nice touch from the DJ -you thought. Suddenly somebody pulled you away and your eyes met with Murdoc’s dark ones.

“ENJOYIN’ THE PARTY PRETTY FACE?” He asked with a bottle of gin in hand trying to shout over the music. You giggled swaying from side to side completely lost in the alcohol.

“WHAAAT?”

“I ASKED IF YOU’RE ENJOYIN’ THE PARTY?” He exclaimed again and before you could reply someone bumped into Muds. The drink in his hand spilled everywhere on the floor and startled both of you. Anger swept on Murdoc’s face but he softened again when he saw you laugh and he started laughing himself.

“I ENJOY IT VERY MUCH IF YOU STILL WANT AN ANWSER!” You shouted a minute later.

“THAT’S GOOD!” You bit on your lip and grinned, a wicked alcohol- influenced idea blooming in your mind.

“CAN I DO SOMETHING WEIRD?” You asked.

“UH… YEAH?” You grabbed him by his shirt and crashed your lips into his. He hummed in surprise. This kind of behavior towards him was something completely new to him but he couldn’t say he didn’t enjoy it very much. The palm of his hand found it’s way in your hair and a few minutes later you were leaving the club together. To do….

Stuff.

2-D: How could you not remember your first kiss with him? It was your first kiss ever! You and Stu started dating way back during high school when he was known for his overall harsh attitude towards everything but shit, you were sold. He was always incredibly nice to you and you often spent summer nights with him, hanging out listening to him sing and play his guitar. Your first kiss happened during one of those nights when you drove as far as you could and spent the night in a tent out by some lake. The sky was cloudless and it was surprisingly warm for that part of England. You were laying outside on the grass with your head on his chest listening to the tunes he played.

“Hey Y/N?” He suddenly said.

“Yeah?”

“How is it possible that we still haven’t even kissed yet we get along so well?” Stu asked.

“I guess we’re just better than everybody else.” You half joked.

“Do you wanna kiss though?” He asked again. You stayed silent for some time, unsure really what to say. You could hear his heartbeat increase in speed. He was nervous…

“I mean… Sure. Of course I do. Do you?”

“ Yeah! I mean… Yes.” He blushed, making you giggle.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed.” You said pulling yourself up and straddling his lap. He prepped himself on his elbows and observed you carefully. You ran a hand up his chest to his shoulder and leant down so your face was really close to his. “Ready?” He just nodded and his eyes fluttered shut. You smiled and closed the distance between you two, cupping his cheek in your palm.

Russell: Your first kiss with Russ was more than you could’ve ever wanted. First he took you out on a date which by the way was the third one you’ve ever been to with him. He took you to the fun fair and it was so wonderfully cliche like something straight from a romantic drama. You managed to win some prizes and annihilate the shit out of people in bumper cars. You went on the ferris wheel and had ice cream and.... Ahhhh what a beautiful day that was...

The evening was approaching quickly so Russ took it upon himself to walk you home and make sure you were safe and sound. He cracked jokes from time to time and complemented you, making you wish the day never ended.

At last, you stopped at your doorstep. You smiled at him kindly.

“Thank you Russell... For today. I had so much fun with you I wish this day could never end.” You said with a sincere expression.

“Ahhh no problem doll.” He grinned and scratched the back of his head. “Listen uh... I wanna ask you somethin’ before I go and regret it.”

“Well uh, okay?”

“Would you like to... And just so you know, even if you say no I’m still gonna like you like I do already so nothin’s gonna change... At least for me.” You raised an eyebrow and smirked.

“Just tell me.” He nodded.

“Right so uh... Would you like to go out with me? You know, full time? Not just as friends?” Your eyes lit up and you smiled like a child on christmas day.

“Oh I would absolutely, positively, completely, without a doubt like to.“ Now it was his turn to smile.

“Really?” You nodded and bit your lip to contain your smile. “Woah... Oh that’s so great!” He came up closer to you and embraced you or rather kind of suffocated you but in a really loving manner . You giggled happily and wrapped your arms around his neck. He pulled away some time later still with the same happy grin. “Hey and also, can I kiss you?” You chuckled at the bold question.

“Of bloody course.” You replied, leant in and crashed your lips into his.

Noodle: Whenever you and Noodle meet someone new she always makes sure to tell them the story of how she managed to bring out the raging lesbian in you with just one kiss. She also always pays special attention to the fact that it was a DARE and that DARE ended in you dating.

You, Noodle as well as some female friends threw a women’s night at one of your friend’s appartment that escalated into a game of truth or dare. It went pretty smoothly, nothing too crazy until it was Noodle’s turn.

“Let’s see... Alright.... Dare.” She smirked and folded her arms. Amy, one of your friends was supposed to think of something for her to do. She glanced over at you for a split second and you knew...

“Alright Noo... I dare you... To kiss Y/N. On the lips.” Your eyes widened.

“Amy! What the hell???” You exclaimed and blushed.

“Okay.” Noodle chirped making all of you turn your heads towards her.

“Wait... You’ll actually do it?” Amy asked.

“Unless Y/N doesn’t want to...” She fluttered her eyelashes. You smiled shyly.

“Uh... Well... A dare is a dare right?” You blushed even more when you saw her grin happily and jog to your side since she was a few seats away. She sat down next to you.

“Ready?” She chirped.

“I..... I guess?” Your eyes fluttered shut and a second later you felt her hand on your cheek which.... Surprised to to say the least. You didn’t expect Noodle to get this close to you. Seconds later you felt her warm lip glossed lips on your own.

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forkanna · 7 years

Link

[AO3 LINK] [EF LINK]

It'd be nice if that wrapped everything up in a neat bow. But nah. We didn't get our Happily Ever After that easily.

Let's cut to the chase and do some more summary. For the next couple of days, things were more or less about where they were before. We would make out a little, and game, and she'd babble and I'd listen with varying levels of interest. The only real difference was, every now and then I'd ask some question about the whole trans thing and she'd try to answer as best she could. Most of the time she was patient, but once in awhile… yeah, it clearly got on her nerves. Still, it was Knives and she liked me, so she didn't yell at me as much as I thought she should.

Also… kissing was weirder. It was all me, worrying about how I was kissing a trans girl instead of a "normal" girl. My own ignorance making me anxious, I guess. She would notice sometimes and ask if I was okay, and I'd tell her everything was fine and try to get past it. Most of the time, I succeeded. Because I knew, I knew deep down that she was the same person, same bubble of sugary sweetness that I both found annoying and endearing. I was just being weird because…

Knives was the first person like that I'd ever met. It's not much of an excuse, I know. This just wasn't something I'd ever thought about before for more than five seconds. Don't judge me too badly, but most of what I'd thought about was drag queens. When she told me there were guys like that, too — y'know, men who were born women, I was like, what does that even mean?! I'd never even heard of that! But it made sense once it sank in. Just… all new information, crazy to me but old news to her. She was pretty quick to correct me when I said something that made it sound like she was still a guy, or the one time I said "tranny" without even meaning for it to be an insult. Literally had never stopped to think that it was basically a slur, since it almost always gets used to say some chick looks "too manly", or some guy is "too girly". Like… sure, it's easy to see how it could be harmful when you've thought about it, or when you see your girlfriend flinch as if she'd been stabbed, but I hadn't yet. I was in a totally new world and old rules didn't apply.

No sex. You were probably wondering about that, but literally the most we did was make out, maybe squeeze a buttcheek once or twice. If things started to get past that point, one of us would pull back. Just weren't there yet.

Although… we did have a hard conversation one night. We had been bingewatching some anime that Knives had on DVD, I didn't care much but I was starting to get into it toward the end. Bunch of ninjas or whatever. At some point, we got distracted from the TV by each other's faces. Sucking on them, to be exact…

~ o ~

"Hey," I breathed pulling back with a slight smile, gazing into her eyes the moment the opened again. "There she is."

Swallowing hard, Knives glanced down between our bodies, then up again with a slight nervousness. It hurt to see that there, but it hurt because I was such a douchecanoe once upon a time to her. If I wasn't so dumb when I was drunk, maybe she could have been less uncomfortable.

"Sorry," I breathed, my smile gone like the wind. "Just… haven't felt that yet. While sober, I mean."

"Y-yeah," she whispered before clearing her throat. "I try not to let it… pop up, but… you just feel so good sometimes."

My hips shifted a little, and I felt the firm little presence grinding into my hip. She was basically straddling my thigh again, only we were seated on a couch this time. "Mmm, you don't have to hide that now. Let it pop up."

"But I'm still so weird about… you know…"

"Sex?" A small nod, and I kissed her chin. "Shhh. If you're ready, then you're ready. Why hold back?"

"But I'm not ready."

"Then why are you hard as a rock down there?" Right after that, she rolled away and sat down next to me. "What? Knives…"

"Just because I'm hard doesn't mean I want to do anything with it. You do get that, right? Like… I might kind of want to, but that's not the same as being ready for that."

A guilty thrill shot through me, and I pushed a hand into my mouth for a second. This was the same thing that happened when I was drunk, except I hadn't been listening then. "Sorry." That was all I could get out.

Her hand reached down and grasped mine. "I do want to, though. Like… just…"

"Yeah. Like you said, it's a weird thing for you because of… that word. Dis-something."

"Dysphoria."

"That's the one. Makes you feel funny about your body matching your brain."

Her voice really was apologetic as she went on, "I don't want to be the man, banging you like a woman. I'm in lesbians with you, and have no interest in trying to be your boyfriend. And… I don't know, it's stupid."

"Not stupid if it's how you feel. I'm just trying to get this. You have a raging boner that I'm very ready to help you out with. And… I know I fuck up my words sometimes, but I really don't think you're a guy. Promise. So just… what's the problem? Is it me? Because like, I know this is only the second time I've felt-"

"It's not you," she cut me off urgently. "Come on! You rock, Kim, you're so hot! Like, my issues have nothing to do with how attractive you are, okay?"

Going for broke, I whispered, "Let me go down on you. Or jerk you off, maybe. We can try it and see how it goes. And if I do or say something off the mark, you can tell me. Now or later. Feedback helps. And you don't have to do anything for me if you're not ready for it, either."

"What if I'm not ready for anything at all? Is that okay? Or do you really need to do something every time you feel my dick get hard?"

There was a slight accusation in that tone. I felt anger pulse behind my temples. "Excuse me?"

"Well, you did the same thing last time," she sighed, clearly annoyed. "I thought you would be different now that you aren't drunk."

"No, I'm asking, not just doing it and then asking you afterward," I shot back. "And I apologised for that; I still feel like shit, but hey, thanks for the reminder."

"You're kind of doing it again, though. I just… want to make out with you, and if I get hard for it not be an issue, because all it means is that I'm enjoying myself. Not that I'm ready to 'take it to the next level'. If you make out with a guy and your nipples get hard, does that mean you definitely want them to fuck you?"

Running my hands through my hair, I turned away from her. "Fine. Nevermind."

"Answer me."

"No."

"Okay. Sorry for not being ready when you are."

I didn't reply. What was there to say? We had been doing so well up until that point, I was blindsided that it suddenly blew up in my face. And I wanted to tell her that I was okay with this, but it also felt like an insult. My stupid brain was used to a guy getting hard, and right away wanting to have sex. And I know, I know, everybody's different, and she wasn't a guy… I just needed to adjust my thinking. In case you couldn't tell, it was going pretty slow.

"Kim, I'm not a dildo. Like… to be honest, I kind of wish I was. For you. But I don't feel ready, and I think if I push myself to do it before I'm ready, then… neither of us are going to be very happy with the result."

Still no reply. Now I was hurting her. Could I be any more of a fuckup?

"Kim? Oh no… oh God, don't turn to stone again!"

That snapped me out of my daze. She was right; I could feel my limbs and muscles freezing up, getting more solid. "Nhh? Hhh nhh!" My mouth was sealed shut, too.

"Crap… where's that bottle of Soft? What did you do with-"

"Wait… okay… I…" Somehow, little by little, I was able to move again. A few very pale flakes of weird material shattered from my joints, and off my eyelids when I blinked, but it wasn't an actual full layer of rock like the last time. "Ooh… shit, that was close."

Arms looped around me, and Knives pushed her damp eyes into my neck. "I'm so sorry, I- you can touch me, I don't care. I don't care! Just please don't turn to stone, I really can't handle that, okay?"

Every word was like a blade piercing my heart. This wasn't her responsibility. Sure, it made me happy that she cared so much, but it frightened me a little that she was willing to sacrifice her own comfort for me that easily. Since two seconds ago, she had been telling me how important it was that she have the time she needed to get comfortable with the idea of me poking around downstairs.

"Knives…" That was all I could say for now. My hands gripped at the back of her shirt as I hugged her. "I'm sorry…"

"No, really, y-you can go down on me! Do you want to now? I mean… I'm not hard anymore, but I think if you-"

"Please stop," I begged her, the tears in her voice about to make mine start up again. "Just shut up."

But she wasn't having it. Pushing me away to look into my face, which I hated because I didn't like people seeing me without my shields in place, she shouted, "I can't let you be a statue just because I'm…"

Neither of us spoke for a second. Trying to figure out this situation. I wanted to leave, I wanted to run out the door and away from this annoying intensity, because I didn't fucking sign up for it. I didn't even want her as a friend in the beginning, let alone this! But she was also really important to me now. Like, crucial even. Seeing her upset purely because I couldn't figure out my shit made me feel so broken…

"Don't ever do that again," I finally managed to sob. "Don't ever say that y-you'll… that you would force yourself to do something you're not ready for just b-because I'm… a weird gargoyle thing! GOD! Please don't!"

Her lip quivered, but she threw her arms around me again, whispering, "Okay! Okay, I won't, I'm sorry! I'm sorry, Kim, I just don't want to lose you!"

My lips found her neck over and over, and she began to cry more now that the initial panic was gone. We both needed a release, so we let that happen for a little while until the sniffles were outnumbering the sobs. We pulled back and kissed, and then both of us started saying a bunch of sappy shit like "you're so good to me" and "I don't deserve you," blah blah blah.

Not blah blah to me, though. I was falling hard for Knives Chau. Just didn't know how to handle that yet.

~ o ~

"That makes more sense," she said a while later as we snuggled in my bed. Mostly clothed, sharing a bottle of water. "But we still need to figure out what's causing you to turn."

Sighing, I pushed my face up against her shoulder. "Yeah. Probably because I'm a chickenshit."

"Don't say that. You are not, you're just… bad… at feelings? I hope that's not offensive."

"It's accurate. I don't like feelings. They suck."

"Yeah, you do. What you don't like is that they leave you open and vulnerable. But… I'm not going to hurt you, Kim. You know that!"

Nodding, I pet over her stomach as I smirked very slightly. "You're pretty badass, though. Helped take down Gideon. What if I turned into an evil ex? You'd have to defeat me, and I wouldn't stand a chance."

"You won't turn 'evil'. You're such a good, sweet, pure-"

"Lies."

"You ARE. Under all that grumpiness." That made me snort, and she grinned, leaning down to nuzzle my nose. "Didn't say you were a perfect ray of sunshine, just… such an awesome girl! I can see it, even if you can't."

"Should have your eyes checked," I deflected, trying to ignore the pounding of my heart. Like I said, cavity-inducing.

"Maybe. They only seem to see you."

How did she actually top herself that quickly? I already was reeling from how much affection she could show, and then she shows even more without giving me a chance to recover first. So again, I did the thing. I tried to rise to her level of flirting-ness, to not just be the useless lump in the relationship. Here's what I came up with:

"Fuck. I can't believe you like me. You're too cool to date such an asshole."

Points for effort?

"Aww," she cooed as if I had recited some touching sonnet. My cheeks were burning, I could tell when she kissed them and her lips were like ice against the skin. "I think we're both pretty cool."

"Sleep here?" I urged, needing it. Not wanting to show how much, but hoping she would spot it anyway. "Set an alarm, and just… use today's uniform again tomorrow?"

Nodding, she snuggled in close. "As long as you promise not to pounce on my morning wood. Just making sure," she rushed ahead when I winced. "And if you do, it's only gonna mean another talk. Not that I hate you or want to leave you. Right?"

"Right," I groaned, flopping onto my back. She only moved in closer. This time, I felt the warm squish of her soft junk against my thigh; it was kind of nice. I'd never felt that before with a dude, because I never had a relationship with one long enough to include much cuddling. "I promise."

"And we're not done trying to figure out why the statue-thing happens. I… I want you to be safe, and not have to worry that I'll come home and find…"

The ominousness of that idea hung over both of our heads for a moment. I whispered to her, "We will. I don't want it, and you don't want it; pretty unanimous. Not that I have any clue where to start."

"Tomorrow," she yawned as she nuzzled in, already drifting off.

"Knives?" A little hum was her only response. "I'm… glad you're back in my life. Fucking crazy as it's been. Just didn't want you to…"

By that point, I could feel her deeper breathing, and knew I was trying to talk to a snoozing woman. Shaking my head very gently, I settled in to drift off with her.

To Be Continued…

#kim pine's precious little knives #scott pilgrim fanfiction #kim pine #knives chau #pinechau #kim x knives #scott pilgrim vs. the world #forkanna writes #forkanna the writer

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lesbianrewrites · 7 years

Text

Sorcerer’s Stone Chapter 10

*disclaimer* This is a project done for fun, and none of these characters/works belong to me. I do not claim to own any of the material on this page.

This is a Lesbian edit of Harry Potter by J.K Rowling.

Special Chapter Release as I feel it’s been to long since the last one. :3

Regular Updates Resume: Still Unknown

Google doc version can be found here. The chapter can also be found under the cut. Enjoy!

Halloween

Malfoy couldn’t believe her eyes when she saw that Hayley and Raine were still at Hogwarts the next day, looking tired but perfectly cheerful. Indeed, by the next morning Hayley and Raine thought that meeting the three-headed dog had been an excellent adventure, and they were quite keen to have another one. In the meantime, Hayley filled Raine in about the package that seemed to have been moved from Gringotts to Hogwarts, and they spent a lot of time wondering what could possibly need such heavy protection.

“It’s either really valuable or really dangerous,” said Raine.

“Or both,” said Hayley.

But as all they knew for sure about the mysterious object was that it was about two inches long, they didn’t have much chance of guessing what it was without further clues.

Neither Neville nor Hermione showed the slightest interest in what lay underneath the dog and the trapdoor. All Neville cared about was never going near the dog again.

Hermione was now refusing to speak to Hayley and Raine, but she was such a bossy know-it-all that they saw this as an added bonus. All they really wanted now was a way of getting back at Malfoy, and to their great delight, just such a thing arrived in the mail about a week later.

As the owls flooded into the Great Hall as usual, everyone’s attention was caught at once by a long, thin package carried by six large screech owls. Hayley was just as interested as everyone else to see what was in this large parcel, and was amazed when the owls soared down and dropped it right in front of her, knocking her bacon to the floor. They had hardly fluttered out of the way when another owl dropped a letter on top of the parcel.

Hayley ripped open the letter first, which was lucky, because it said:

DO NOT OPEN THE PARCEL AT THE TABLE.

It contains your new Nimbus Two Thousand, but I don’t want everybody knowing you’ve got a broomstick or they’ll all want one. Octavia Wood will meet you tonight on the Quidditch field at seven o’clock for your first training session.

Professor M. McGonagall

Hayley had difficulty hiding her glee as she handed the note to Raine to read.

“A Nimbus Two Thousand!” Raine moaned enviously. “I’ve never even touched one.”

They left the hall quickly, wanting to unwrap the broomstick in private before their first class, but halfway across the entrance hall they found the way upstairs barred by Crabbe and Goyle. Malfoy seized the package from Hayley and felt it.

“That’s a broomstick,” she said, throwing it back to Hayley with a mixture of jealousy and spite on her face. “You’ll be in for it this time, Potter, first years aren’t allowed them.”

Raine couldn’t resist it.

“It’s not any old broomstick,” they said, “it’s a Nimbus Two Thousand. What did you say you’ve got at home, Malfoy, a Comet Two Sixty?” Raine grinned at Hayley. “Comets look flashy, but they’re not in the same league as the Nimbus.”

“What would you know about it, Weasley, you couldn’t afford half the handle,” Malfoy snapped back. “I suppose you and your family have to save up twig by twig.”

Before Raine could answer, Professor Flitwick appeared at Malfoy’s elbow.

“Not arguing, I hope?” he squeaked.

“Potters been sent a broomstick, Professor,” said Malfoy quickly.

“Yes, yes, that’s right,” said Professor Flitwick, beaming at Hayley. “Professor McGonagall told me all about the special circumstances, Potter. And what model is it?”

“A Nimbus Two Thousand, sir,” said Hayley, fighting not to laugh at the look of horror on Malfoy’s face. “And it’s really thanks to Malfoy here that I’ve got it,” she added.

Hayley and Raine headed upstairs, smothering their laughter at Malfoy’s obvious rage and confusion.

“Well, it’s true,” Hayley chortled as they reached the top of the marble staircase, brushing aside long curly hair that had fallen over her face, “If she hadn’t stolen Neville’s Remembrall I wouldn’t be on the team. …”

“So I suppose you think that’s a reward for breaking rules?” came an angry voice from just behind them. Hermione was stomping up the stairs, looking disapprovingly at the package in Hayley’s hand.

“I thought you weren’t speaking to us?” said Hayley.

“Yes, don’t stop now,” said Raine, “it’s doing us so much good.”

Hermione marched away with her nose in the air.

Hayley had a lot of trouble keeping her mind on her lessons that day. It kept wandering up to the dormitory where her new broomstick was lying under her bed, or straying off to the Quidditch field where she’d be learning to play that night. She bolted her dinner that evening without noticing what she was eating, and then rushed upstairs with Raine to unwrap the Nimbus Two Thousand at last.

“Wow,” Raine sighed, as the broomstick rolled onto Hayley’s bedspread.

Even Hayley, who knew nothing about the different brooms, thought it looked wonderful. Sleek and shiny, with a mahogany handle, it had a long tail of neat, straight twigs and Nimbus Two Thousand written in gold near the top.

As seven o’clock drew nearer, Hayley left the castle and set off in the dusk toward the Quidditch field. She’d never been inside the stadium before. Hundreds of seats were raised in stands around the field so that the spectators were high enough to see what was going on. At either end of the field were three golden poles with hoops on the end. They reminded Hayley of the little plastic sticks Muggle children blew bubbles through, except that they were fifty feet high.

Too eager to fly again to wait for Wood, Hayley mounted her broomstick and kicked off from the ground. What a feeling — she swooped in and out of the goal posts and then sped up and down the field. The Nimbus Two Thousand turned wherever she wanted at her lightest touch.

“Hey, Potter, come down!”

Octavia Wood had arrived. She was carrying a large wooden crate under her arm. Hayley landed next to her.

“Very nice,” said Wood, her eyes glinting. “I see what McGonagall meant … you really are a natural. I’m just going to teach you the rules this evening, then you’ll be joining team practice three times a week.”

She opened the crate. Inside were four different-sized balls.

“Right,” said Wood. “Now, Quidditch is easy enough to understand, even if it’s not too easy to play. There are seven players on each side. Three of them are called Chasers.”

“Three Chasers,” Hayley repeated, as Wood took out a bright red ball about the size of a soccer ball.

“This ball’s called the Quaffle,” said Wood. “The Chasers throw the Quaffle to each other and try and get it through one of the hoops to score a goal. Ten points every time the Quaffle goes through one of the hoops. Follow me?”

“The Chasers throw the Quaffle and put it through the hoops to score,” Hayley recited. “So — that’s sort of like basketball on broomsticks with six hoops, isn’t it?”

“No, not exactly.” Wood replied.

“Now, there’s another player on each side who’s called the Keeper — I’m Keeper for Gryffindor. I have to fly around our hoops and stop the other team from scoring.”

“Three Chasers, one Keeper,” said Hayley, who was determined to remember it all. “And they play with the Quaffle. Okay, got that. So what are they for?” She pointed at the three balls left inside the box.

“I’ll show you now,” said Wood. “Take this.”

She handed Hayley a small club, a bit like a short baseball bat.

“I’m going to show you what the Bludgers do,” Wood said. “These two are the Bludgers.”

She showed Hayley two identical balls, jet black and slightly smaller than the red Quaffle. Hayley noticed that they seemed to be straining to escape the straps holding them inside the box.

“Stand back,” Wood warned Hayley. She bent down and freed one of the Bludgers.

At once, the black ball rose high in the air and then pelted straight at Hayley’s face. Hayley swung at it with the bat to stop it from breaking her nose, and sent it zigzagging away into the air — it zoomed around their heads and then shot at Wood, who dived on top of it and managed to pin it to the ground.

“See?” Wood panted, forcing the struggling Bludger back into the crate and strapping it down safely. “The Bludgers rocket around, trying to knock players off their brooms. That’s why you have two Beaters on each team — the Weasley twins are ours — it’s their job to protect their side from the Bludgers and try and knock them toward the other team. So — think you’ve got all that?”

“Three Chasers try and score with the Quaffle; the Keeper guards the goal posts; the Beaters keep the Bludgers away from their team,” Hayley reeled off.

“Very good,” said Wood.

“Er — have the Bludgers ever killed anyone?” Hayley asked, hoping she sounded offhand.

“Never at Hogwarts. We’ve had a couple of broken jaws but nothing worse than that. Now, the last member of the team is the Seeker. That’s you. And you don’t have to worry about the Quaffle or the Bludgers —”

“— unless they crack my head open.”

“Don’t worry, the Weasleys are more than a match for the Bludgers — I mean, they’re like a pair of human Bludgers themselves.”

Wood reached into the crate and took out the fourth and last ball. Compared with the Quaffle and the Bludgers, it was tiny, about the size of a large walnut. It was bright gold and had little fluttering silver wings.

“This,” said Wood, “is the Golden Snitch, and it’s the most important ball of the lot. It’s very hard to catch because it’s so fast and difficult to see. It’s the Seeker’s job to catch it. You’ve got to weave in and out of the Chasers, Beaters, Bludgers, and Quaffle to get it before the other team’s Seeker, because whichever Seeker catches the Snitch wins his team an extra hundred and fifty points, so they nearly always win. That’s why Seekers get fouled so much. A game of Quidditch only ends when the Snitch is caught, so it can go on for ages — I think the record is three months, they had to keep bringing on substitutes so the players could get some sleep.

“Well, that’s it — any questions?”

Hayley shook her head. She understood what she had to do all right, it was doing it that was going to be the problem.

“We won’t practice with the Snitch yet,” said Wood, carefully shutting it back inside the crate, “it’s too dark, we might lose it. Let’s try you out with a few of these.”

She pulled a bag of ordinary golf balls out of her pocket and a few minutes later, she and Hayley were up in the air, Wood throwing the golf balls as hard as she could in every direction for Hayley to catch.

Hayley didn’t miss a single one, and Wood was delighted. After half an hour, night had really fallen and they couldn’t carry on.

“That Quidditch Cup’ll have our name on it this year,” said Wood happily as they trudged back up to the castle. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you turn out better than Charlie Weasley, and he could have played for England if he hadn’t gone off chasing dragons.”

Perhaps it was because she was now so busy, what with Quidditch practice three evenings a week on top of all her homework, but Hayley could hardly believe it when she realized that she’d already been at Hogwarts two months. The castle felt more like home than Privet Drive ever had. Her lessons, too, were becoming more and more interesting now that they had mastered the basics.

On Halloween morning they woke to the delicious smell of baking pumpkin wafting through the corridors. Even better, Professor Flitwick announced in Charms that he thought they were ready to start making objects fly, something they had all been dying to try since they’d seen him make Neville’s toad zoom around the classroom. Professor Flitwick put the class into pairs to practice. Hayley’s partner was Seamus Finnigan (which was a relief, because Neville had been trying to catch her eye). Raine, however, was to be working with Hermione Granger. It was hard to tell whether Raine or Hermione was angrier about this. She hadn’t spoken to either of them since the day Hayley’s broomstick had arrived.

“Now, don’t forget that nice wrist movement we’ve been practicing!” squeaked Professor Flitwick, perched on top of his pile of books as usual. “Swish and flick, remember, swish and flick. And saying the magic words properly is very important, too — never forget Wizard Baruffio, who said ‘s’ instead of ‘f’ and found himself on the floor with a buffalo on his chest.”

It was very difficult. Hayley and Seamus swished and flicked, but the feather they were supposed to be sending skyward just lay on the desktop. Seamus got so impatient that he prodded it with his wand and set fire to it — Hayley had to put it out with his charms textbook.

Raine, at the next table, wasn’t having much more luck.

“Wingardium Leviosa!” they shouted, waving their long arms like a windmill.

“You’re saying it wrong,” Hayley heard Hermione snap. “It’s Wing-gar-dium Levi-o-sa, make the ‘gar’ nice and long.”

“You do it, then, if you’re so clever,” Raine snarled.

Hermione rolled up the sleeves of her gown, flicked her wand, and said, “Wingardium Leviosa!”

Their feather rose off the desk and hovered about four feet above their heads.

“Oh, well done!” cried Professor Flitwick, clapping. “Everyone see here, Miss Granger’s done it!”

Raine was in a very bad mood by the end of the class.

“It’s no wonder no one can stand her,” Raine said to Hayley as the two pushed their way into the crowded corridor, “she’s a nightmare, honestly.”

Someone knocked into Hayley as they hurried past her. It was Hermione. Hayley caught a glimpse of her face — and was startled to see that she was in tears.

“I think she heard you.”

“So?” said Raine, but they looked a bit uncomfortable. “She must’ve noticed she’s got no friends.”

Hermione didn’t turn up for the next class and wasn’t seen all afternoon. On their way down to the Great Hall for the Halloween feast, Hayley and Raine overheard Parvati Patil telling her friend Lavender that Hermione was crying in the girls’ bathroom and wanted to be left alone. Raine looked still more awkward at this, but a moment later they had entered the Great Hall, where the Halloween decorations put Hermione out of their minds.

A thousand live bats fluttered from the walls and ceiling while a thousand more swooped over the tables in low black clouds, making the candles in the pumpkins stutter. The feast appeared suddenly on the golden plates, as it had at the start-of-term banquet.

Hayley was just helping herself to a baked potato when Professor Quirrell came sprinting into the hall, her turban askew and terror on her face. Everyone stared as she reached Professor Dumbledore’s chair, slumped against the table, and gasped, “Troll — in the dungeons — thought you ought to know.”

She then sank to the floor in a dead faint.

There was an uproar. It took several purple firecrackers exploding from the end of Professor Dumbledore’s wand to bring silence.

“Prefects,” he rumbled, “lead your Houses back to the dormitories immediately!”

Percy was in his element.

“Follow me! Stick together, first years! No need to fear the troll if you follow my orders! Stay close behind me, now. Make way, first years coming through! Excuse me, I’m a prefect!”

“How could a troll get in?” Hayley asked as they climbed the stairs.

“Don’t ask me, they’re supposed to be really stupid,” said Raine. “Maybe Peeves let it in for a Halloween joke.”

They passed different groups of people hurrying in different directions. As they jostled their way through a crowd of confused Hufflepuffs, Hayley suddenly grabbed Raine’s arm.

“I’ve just thought — Hermione.”

“What about her?”

“She doesn’t know about the troll.”

Raine bit their lip.

“Oh, all right,” they snapped. “But Percy’d better not see us.”

Ducking down, they joined the Hufflepuffs going the other way, slipped down a deserted side corridor, and hurried off toward the girls’ bathroom. They had just turned the corner when they heard quick footsteps behind them.

“Percy!” hissed Raine, pulling Hayley behind a large stone griffin.

Peering around it, however, they saw not Percy but Snape. He crossed the corridor and disappeared from view.

“What’s he doing?” Hayley whispered. “Why isn’t he down in the dungeons with the rest of the teachers?”

“Search me.”

Quietly as possible, they crept along the next corridor after Snape’s fading footsteps.

“He’s heading for the third floor,” Hayley said, but Raine held up their hand.

“Can you smell something?”

Hayley sniffed and a foul stench reached her nostrils, a mixture of old socks and the kind of public toilet no one seems to clean.

And then they heard it — a low grunting, and the shuffling footfalls of gigantic feet. Raine pointed — at the end of a passage to the left, something huge was moving toward them. They shrank into the shadows and watched as it emerged into a patch of moonlight.

It was a horrible sight. Twelve feet tall, its skin was a dull, granite gray, its great lumpy body like a boulder with its small bald head perched on top like a coconut. It had short legs thick as tree trunks with flat, horny feet. The smell coming from it was incredible. It was holding a huge wooden club, which dragged along the floor because its arms were so long.

The troll stopped next to a doorway and peered inside. It waggled its long ears, making up its tiny mind, then slouched slowly into the room.

“The key’s in the lock,” Hayley muttered. “We could lock it in.”

“Good idea,” said Raine nervously.

They edged toward the open door, mouths dry, praying the troll wasn’t about to come out of it. With one great leap, Hayley managed to grab the key, slam the door, and lock it.

“Yes!”

Flushed with their victory, they started to run back up the passage, but as they reached the corner they heard something that made their hearts stop — a high, petrified scream — and it was coming from the chamber they’d just chained up.

“Oh, no,” said Raine, pale as the Bloody Baroness.

“It’s the girls’ bathroom!” Hayley gasped.

“Hermione!” they said together.

It was the last thing they wanted to do, but what choice did they have? Wheeling around, they sprinted back to the door and turned the key, fumbling in their panic. Hayley pulled the door open and they ran inside.

Hermione Granger was shrinking against the wall opposite, looking as if she was about to faint. The troll was advancing on her, knocking the sinks off the walls as it went.

“Confuse it!” Hayley said desperately to Raine, and, seizing a tap, she threw it as hard as she could against the wall.

The troll stopped a few feet from Hermione. It lumbered around, blinking stupidly, to see what had made the noise. Its mean little eyes saw Hayley. It hesitated, then made for her instead, lifting its club as it went.

“Oy, pea-brain!” yelled Raine from the other side of the chamber, and they threw a metal pipe at it. The troll didn’t even seem to notice the pipe hitting its shoulder, but it heard the yell and paused again, turning its ugly snout toward Raine instead, giving Hayley time to run around it.

“Come on, run, run!” Hayley yelled at Hermione, trying to pull her toward the door, but she couldn’t move, she was still flat against the wall, her mouth open with terror.

The shouting and the echoes seemed to be driving the troll berserk. It roared again and started toward Raine, who was nearest and had no way to escape.

Hayley then did something that was both very brave and very stupid: She took a great running jump and managed to fasten her arms around the troll’s neck from behind. The troll couldn’t feel Hayley hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Hayley’s wand had still been in her hand when she’d jumped — it had gone straight up one of the troll’s nostrils.

Howling with pain, the troll twisted and flailed its club, with Hayley clinging on for dear life; any second, the troll was going to rip her off or catch her a terrible blow with the club.

Hermione had sunk to the floor in fright; Raine pulled out their own wand — not knowing what they were going to do they heard themselves cry the first spell that came into their head: “Wingardium Leviosa!”

The club flew suddenly out of the troll’s hand, rose high, high up into the air, turned slowly over — and dropped, with a sickening crack, onto its owner’s head. The troll swayed on the spot and then fell flat on its face, with a thud that made the whole room tremble.

Hayley got to her feet. She was shaking and out of breath. Raine was standing there with their wand still raised, staring at what they had done.

It was Hermione who spoke first.

“Is it — dead?”

“I don’t think so,” said Hayley, “I think it’s just been knocked out.”

She bent down and pulled her wand out of the troll’s nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.

“Urgh — troll boogers.”

She wiped it on the troll’s trousers.

A sudden slamming and loud footsteps made the three of them look up. They hadn’t realized what a racket they had been making, but of course, someone downstairs must have heard the crashes and the troll’s roars. A moment later, Professor McGonagall had come bursting into the room, closely followed by Snape, with Quirrell bringing up the rear. Quirrell took one look at the troll, let out a faint whimper, and sat quickly down on a toilet, clutching her heart.

Snape bent over the troll. Professor McGonagall was looking at Raine and Hayley. Hayley had never seen her look so angry. Her lips were even whiter than normal. Hopes of winning fifty points for Gryffindor faded quickly from Hayley’s mind.

“What on earth were you thinking of?” said Professor McGonagall, with cold fury in her voice. Hayley looked at Raine, who was still standing with their wand in the air. “You’re lucky you weren’t killed. Why aren’t you in your dormitory?”

Snape gave Hayley a swift, piercing look. Hayley looked at the floor. She wished Raine would put their wand down.

Then a small voice came out of the shadows.

“Please, Professor McGonagall — they were looking for me.”

“Miss Granger!”

Hermione had managed to get to her feet at last.

“I went looking for the troll because I — I thought I could deal with it on my own — you know, because I’ve read all about them.”

Raine dropped their wand. Hermione Granger, telling a downright lie to a teacher?

“If they hadn’t found me, I’d be dead now. Hayley stuck her wand up its nose and Raine knocked it out with its own club. They didn’t have time to come and fetch anyone. It was about to finish me off when they arrived.”

Hayley and Raine tried to look as though this story wasn’t new to them.

“Well — in that case …” said Professor McGonagall, staring at the three of them, “Miss Granger, you foolish girl, how could you think of tackling a mountain troll on your own?”

Hermione hung her head. Hayley was speechless. Hermione was the last person to do anything against the rules, and here she was, pretending she had, to get them out of trouble. It was as if Snape had started handing out sweets.

“Miss Granger, five points will be taken from Gryffindor for this,” said Professor McGonagall. “I’m very disappointed in you. If you’re not hurt at all, you’d better get off to Gryffindor Tower. Students are finishing the feast in their Houses.”

Hermione left.

Professor McGonagall turned to Hayley and Raine.

“Well, I still say you were lucky, but not many first years could have taken on a full-grown mountain troll. You each win Gryffindor five points. Professor Dumbledore will be informed of this. You may go.”

They hurried out of the chamber and didn’t speak at all until they had climbed two floors up. It was a relief to be away from the smell of the troll, quite apart from anything else.

“We should have gotten more than ten points,” Raine grumbled.

“Five, you mean, once she’s taken off Hermione’s.”

“Good of her to get us out of trouble like that,” Raine admitted. “Mind you, we did save her.”

“She might not have needed saving if we hadn’t locked the thing in with her,” Hayley reminded them.

They had reached the portrait of the Fat Lady.

“Pig snout,” they said and entered.

The common room was packed and noisy. Everyone was eating the food that had been sent up. Hermione, however, stood alone by the door, waiting for them. There was a very embarrassed pause. Then, none of them looking at each other, they all said “Thanks,” and hurried off to get plates.

But from that moment on, Hermione Granger became their friend. There are some things you can’t share without ending up liking each other, and knocking out a twelve-foot mountain troll is one of them.

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