#today? well i was in bed until like 2:30pm lmao so

[ellcrys]

was too tired to post about this last night but yesterday i went to the mfa to checkout two temp exhibits leaving in mid-feb and both of them really exceeded my expectations!

matthew wong: the realm of appearances

tiny treasures: the magic of miniatures

the realm of appearances was really a hidden gem, imo. i wasn't expecting much from the previews i saw online and i didn't really connect with his early work but oh man his later paintings that delve into landscape and the color blue especially were frankly amazing. love the color blue so there's bias there whoops and i love the impressionist era which he took a lot of insp from so whoops there's more bias there lol, but really, i loved his color work. he had this really cool technique of scraping wet paint off for super cool texturing and color also which really caught my eye.

tiny treasures was just fun. i love miniatures. a really nicely curated collection that hit on a bunch of different themes. i got the exhibit companion book lol

also picked up 'fashioned by sargent' which was sold out last time i was there and i am so pleased with the purchase 🥰

[kvgehiras]

can i request sleepover hcs with trickstar (separate)? i feel like they would be so much fun to be with... the new shuffle unit really woke up my inner trickstarP 🥺 (hope it's not too much to request all 😭)

HELLO !!! nd no it's ok !!!! it took me some time bcs i didnt . rlly know how to start out hokuto's part BUT IT'S DONE NOW !!!!!!! (also i hope u meant it in a setting where y/n nd the members r in a relationship (separately ofc) bcs that's how i wrote it so ye) hope yall like it ~

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

AKEHOSHI SUBARU

• he probably brought up the idea while u were accompanying him on a walk w daikichi

• u were talking abt how u brought these glow-in-the-dark stickers nd they remind u of him

• "it would b so nice if u could see it omg!!! but .... it's the best when u watch it right before u go to sleep.....nd ur probably busy :(("

• "????? LETS HAVE A SLEEPOVER THEN!!!!!!! W ALL THE SPARKLE SPARKLE STARS!!!! AAAAA IT WOULD LOOK SO PRETTY!!!!!!!!"

• nd ur just like :0 bcs u cant believe this dumbass . he has a live to perform in day after tomorrow but he's gonna have a sleepover........what

• "dw abt my live !!!!!!! ill tell hokke nd the others that i can't come today but i'll practice extra hard tomorrow !! they'll understand dw (*・∀-)☆"

• they didn't.....actually...but he cut the call on hokuto before they could get him to attend so uh-

• "anyways!!!!!!!! ^^^^^^"

• yall bring daikichi over too. it's not even a question daikichi is literally yalls child at this point but anyways

• he probably looks for board games for a good hour or two while u get some food for daikichi nd then get some food for subaru nd urself

• (he doesn't find it)

• u peek at the doorframe bcs for a while u keep feeling like someone has been watching u for a while now nd then boom . u see the other baby (read : subaru . main baby is daikichi, ofc!) pouting at u

• u laugh nd wipe ur hands on ur apron before ruffling his hair nd he goes

• "i can't find the board games :((((( y/n :(((((("

• surprise guessing game : whos the actual puppy? akehoshi subaru or his actual dog daikichi??????? it remains a mystery

• anyways u help him look for them nd after u hand him over the thing u get food for the both of u nd force him to eat atleast a bite bcs this bitch is too busy trying to win against u in snakes & ladders 😭😭😭

• "subaru.....pls....the food is getting cold....."

• "no i Know im gonna win!!! the sparkly stars r my good luck!!!! i know it!!!!!!"

• he.... doesn't win .....for the 5th time....

• so manz just gives up, noms all the sandwiches visible (aka his portion bcs u alrdy finished urs an hour ago JDJDKDN)

• nd then sleeps, still sulking

• yes it ends up in u guys cuddling under the glowy stars

• nd subaru thinks that mayb losing against u isn't that bad after all (´꒳`)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

HIDAKA HOKUTO

• unlike subaru, this was actually a planned one

• u both had homework to do, u especially had a test tomorrow nd subaru just ditched the rest of trickstar to go hang out w someone else instead of their practice so ┐(´∀｀)┌

• hokuto appears at ur doorstep around 6:30pm, as discussed earlier

• "right on time!!!!!! so true hokke (´∀`)ｂ"

• he chuckles a lil as he closes the door behind him nd takes off his shoes

• "(y/n) u keep sounding like that masked pervert whenever u say smthg like that pls"

• u laugh it off nd then get him to the living room, where u two get ur books out nd then start studying

• hokuto asks if uve studied any material before to which u quietly reply no nd hokuto just goes

• "oh, that's ok… i think it will be good practice for me too if i taught u all this, right? so let's start, hm?"

• HOKKEEEEEEE ๐·°(৹˃̵﹏˂̵৹)°·๐

• sasuga hokuto kyun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

• anyways !! u guys (finally) start studying now!

• except…..except ur alrdy falling asleep……

• hokuto doesn't even realise this till he looks over to his shoulder bcs wow it suddenly feels heavy! wonder why!

• nd then boom ur face is an inch away from his

• poor hokuto his face gets all red and his ears r burning nd when he realises that ur sleeping he just . freezes

• doesnt even move fucking muscle

• mentally too manz just checks out NDNDNDJDJKS

• BUT IN HIS DEFENCE WHEN HE CAME TO UR PLACE HE DIDNY EXPECT THIS!!!!!!! HE EXPECTED TO STUDY ND THEN GO HOME YK!!!!!!

• poor guy he can feel how hard his heart is beating nd hes praying that u dont hear it nd wake up

• thank goodness ur a heavy sleeper……..nothing, nd i mean not even if boulder is dropped on u, can wake u up

• sasuga…..y/n……?

• anyways !!!!!

• u wake up at like . 2 or 3 am nd u find hokuto just closing his eyes shut, cheeks still bright red nd. WHYS HE SO CLOSE-

• o u fell asleep on his shoulder lol-

• U FELL ASLEEP?????

• u jerk back up nd apologise a million times for falling asleep even tho hes so desperately trying to teach u nd hokuto just tries to hard to explain that it's ok !!!!!!! (bcs he actually kinda . liked it . aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAA)

• after much thought u guys just decided to go to sleep bcs ur too tired anyways so it's not like u would retain this info anyways

• nd it was a good decision bcs after waking up in the morning nd going thru his notes instead u actually aced the test !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so true y/n !!!!!!

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

YUUKI MAKOTO

• this one….. it's like . neither planned or accidental?????

• it just happened????? yk?????

• he called u suddenly in the evening bcs he went to this new game shop that opened near his place right

• nd hes just like !!!!!!! y/n!!!!!!! uve got to check this game out !!!!!!

• nd so u go to his place to play the game nd u see that he just has everything prepared so u get the snacks that u got for both of u on a plate nd get some juice from his fridge nd start playing the game

• nd the game is rlly good !!!!!

• from the graphics to the boss music, makoto rlly knows ur taste

• (he blushes nd thanks u all flustered too hehe)

• nd after switching consoles nd playing the game for over 3 hrs, yes it's a pretty huge game, u finally reach the boss battle!!!!

• nd this . this scares u

• uve seen ppl on the net say that this battle will absolutely End u . periodt

• u never rlly understood why but holy shit u now do

• uve been trying to win against this bitch for AN HOUR at this point . why cant he just die

• poor makoto is just cheering u on in the bg bcs u refuse to let him help

• "y/n….(;´Д`)...... it's ok bb…...i'll finish this up for u…. it's like 4am we have class tomorrow- wait no it's actually today-"

• "makoto No u always help me in games let me finally win smthg for u !!!!!!"

• nd u point at his forehead nd poke it several times as u make ur point

• "ill win for u !!!!! ok!!!!! this stupid boss can never be as strong as my love for u !!!!!! (*｀へ´*) 彡3"

• nd hes just . looking at u all worried but he . he trusts u . so he lets u do it urself

• yes u lost even more times nd cried a lil out of frustration

• so at one point, instead of directly helping u, he just starts giving u directions nd at this point ur too tired nd exhausted to say anything so u just follow him

• (u also have ur head on his lap nd hes combing thru ur hair nd looking down at u like :') lmao what a lovebird)

• but when u actually beat the boss, finally, nd the screen says "win!" in huge yellow letters ur eyes go O.O

• nd u jump out of his lap, while he's still spaced out, combing ur hair nd hug him v tightly

• nd hes like ????? huh ???? wh wh wh ?????????

• nd u explain that u finally won nd u guys just rejoice lol

• then immediately fall asleep. both of u

• (u guys were late to school next day . sigh)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

ISARA MAO

• unlike the other three, this man was actually dragged to ur place

• why? u might ask

• WELL THIS DUMB RAT IS BURNT OUT !!!!!! HE DOES TOO MUCH WORK ND HE DOESNT REALISE IT !!!!!!!!!!

• so after u guys r done w school, nd when u check in w his fam too that hes gonna stay at ur place (nd also that he has almost no work today, ofc) u drag him to an arcade nd hes like ???

• "today is a rest day!!!!!! so no work at all!!!!!!"

• u said this while pouting a bit so mao mostly thought u were joking

• but even after going to the arcade, going to the shopping mall nd getting snacks, going to the fast food place u guys visit alot nd getting food from there, his brain doesnt catch on that ur indeed not joking

• until it's been 3 hours at ur place, ur having the dinner that u guys had bought from the fast food place while watching a random movie that was airing on some channel that his brain suddenly went

• 'i know they were saying that this is a rest day nd ur not allowed to work probably as a joke but bro…. i dont think it's a joke anymore'

• this is so sad f in the chat for mao lol

• but also he doesnt bring it up bcs ur forcing him to watch musicals w u (some of ur favs) nd he... actyally likes it?

• he hasn't felt so ….relaxed in a very long time now that he thinks abt it

• nd he has to thank u for it yk

• nd so after the musical marathon ends, as he thanks u, he kind of just goes on a rant yk

• abt how he's feeling

• he never expected for this to happen but u tell him it's ok yk

• nd while he shouldn't burden himself w so much work, ur always open to listen to his thoughts, opinions, random bs, anything !!!!!!

• for hours u guys just have a very deep talk abt how guys have been doing nd mao feels like hes so so glad that u did smthg like this for him

• yall also go to bed early bcs mao alrdy has a bad sleeping schedule (so let's not make it worse!!!!)

• nd in conclusion, it was a v good day! now yall do this whenever either of u r feeling down or get burnt out lol

[runfast-runfar]

Quarantine days

8/23/20

✨I have so much homework already.. 🙃 ahhh

✨I have SIX lecture videos for 1 class already and it’s not even the end of a week in session lol But honestly my teachers seem pretty cool and I like most of the content so that’s good!

✨Needless to say, today was a pretty uneventful day. Woke up at 7:30, laid in bed for a bit snuggling with Thea, then got up at around 8:30 and started my homework.

✨Then I did homework for most of my day. I got 5 out of six of the lectures watched and notes taken. Then I got one of the readings for the Athens unit done (I have maybe 4 readings in total).

✨Then tomorrow I have to watch the last lecture and do the rest of the readings for that class, then I need to move on to another classes homework!! How do you even keep up man!!???!?! 😓

✨Anyways, did homework until midday, then walked downtown to pick up a few things. Bought this new shirt and cardigan a few days ago and I love them :))

✨Came home and did homework for another 2-3 hours before taking a break to go run. But it’s SO bad today with the smoke so I came back home and did a 50 minute yoga class instead. Honestly, I might prioritize yoga over running for the next week or so bc I needed the mental focus and calmness.

✨After yoga I went on to wildland-elements Etsy to buy a few headbands and I was so overwhelmed I ended up just buying all 5 colors I couldn’t decide between lmao. But she has some seriously cute stuff that I 10/10 recommend! It sells so fast though so you’d have to jump on it!

✨It’s almost 8:30pm now and I’m just taking a break from homework. I’m going to finish this post up and then finish the last reading I’m on and call it a day.

✨While I was doing homework at my desk I had this amazing sunset view which made me so happy 🥰 the fires are awful happening right now, do NOT get me wrong, but during fire season in California we seriously get the craziest sunsets. The picture doesn’t do it justice... it was NEON pink!!!

✨Hope you’re all well and have a good week ahead of you guys!

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

ok so I finished my 3000 word report about an hour ago and uploaded it to the course site. y’all i think i’ve finally learnt my lesson in regards to procrastinating my assignments till the last minute. i don’t want to go through that again. bc that was an awful behemoth lmao. here’s to breaking down my assignments into manageable 500 word chunks when writing. instead of trying to churn out 1,000-2,000 words in 8 hours or 3,000 in about 16 hours. i started work (minus a 3 hour or so break in the middle) at 5:30am today. to get it in by 2:50pm about 2 hours (really) before the deadline. I worked up until 11:30pm or whatever bc I knew any time after that, anything and everything I wrote would absolute fucking garbage. and those tables that i bitchdd about making were murder. they were like 60% of my assignment bc they were 1,500 words of just library catalogue items from the fake library my professor gave us for the assignment and the local one i did... which turned into 16 pages of two tables.

learn to plan your assignments out into manageable chunks. this is why i’d throw up at the end of some 8hour 2,000 word essay crunches right before the deadline/right after the deadlines, during undergrad. that didn’t happen to me today, thank god. but i’m pretty sure me throwing up my brekkie the other day was a warning about the stress/anxiety i put myself under in these situations. I also barely slept last night. i woke up at 3am (after going to bed at like midnight or something like that) and couldn’t get back to sleep properly so i just kept like stopping and starting sleep. until i was like “fuck it i’ll just get up now and do my assignment” at like 5am.

so all in all, if you’re at uni, look after yourselves when youre cramming assignments or frequently procrastinating them until the night before/the day of, right up until the deadline. don’t try and churn out huge chunks of writing all at once (like i always aim to get 1,000 words down in a few hours.... sometimes without breaks to eat, until my dads like “are you sure you don’t need food?”) bc it becomes too burdensome and horrible to think about. just do 500 words and walk away. work at your assignments gradually. remember to sleep properly and eat properly while doing assignments to. and most of all, try and get some exercise in there as well. clear your mind.

[gjjokok]

11 - March 28, 2021

So damn I’ve just been so sad recently. I don’t know why this random fucking dude has this kind of hold on me. I’ve been trying to do a lot of introspection because this has been bothering me like an unreasonable amount.

To provide a timeline of things:

1) I find this dude on twitter who is SO hot and THEN I find out he lives in Toronto.

2) After like a week of deliberating I’m like “what’s the worst than could happen?” so i literally slide into his DM’s and I say verbatim “Damn crazy that you’re the hottest dude I’ve ever seen AND you live in my city” I then go to bed like anyone does after sending a risky message

3) In the morning I wake up to find that he has responded saying something like “You’re one to talk you’re way hotter” AND he has followed me AND he has liked pretty much the only picture I have posted to twitter FROM 2019 (aka he like went back through my account for a while)

4) We talk through twitter DMs for like a day or two and he brings up snapchat so I tell him to add me if he wants and he adds me. The first two nights after having eachother on snapchat we kind of have conversations, but he replies really slowly, and like pretty much doesnt reply at all until maybe 11:30PM at the earliest and I go to bed at like midnight at the latest so the conversations are not very long.

5) For the past week now, he either opens my snaps and doesn’t respond (even though all of my snaps to him are just responses to his snaps because I’ve decided I’m not going to snap him first anymore) or he does respond but it’s clearly a mass snapchat that I just happened to be in his group of people he was sending it to.

SO, a couple reasons why I think I might be unreasonably bothered by this:

A) I’m kind of confused because he seemed so into me at the beginning (like more into me than I was into him) and then recently it feels like I’m getting lucky if I get a response.

B) He is clearly talking to MANY other guys at the same time as me, which is obviously fine because we aren’t anything and to eachother we are just random dudes that follow eachother on twitter. But it’s just weird because he’s the only guy I’m talking to since I’m trying to take it realllllyy slooww going back into talking to men. Also it’s just a weird feeling going on twitter and seeing that he’s posted another nude or he’s flirting with guys on the TL when he hasn’t responded to me? Idk it just feels bad man.

C) This is the first guy that I’ve spoken to in a LONG time and it kind of feels like I’m getting rejected (even though he seemed so into me - refer to point A above). Even through all the periods where Danny and I weren’t together over the past 4ish years, I didn’t really speak to new people I just hit up old hookups and old boyfriends (which is a problem to be discussed another time) so it’s scary and very disheartening to hit up a new hot guy that seems into me and then feel so pushed to the side.

D) I think I’m realizing how good I had it with Danny and how well we got along with each other. I have absolutely no regrets or second thoughts about us breaking up and I’m still very sure of that decision, but it’s just so annoying talking to a guy that I’m into/think is hot and realizing that our conversations are so boring and that I’m not excited when I see a message from him because I’m excited to see what he said, but rather because I’m getting attention from a man.

Honestly if we weren’t in a panorama this would be such an easy situation because I would just hook up with him and would probably start caring about him a lot less (I think I tend to idealize people talking to them over snapchat or whatever and then I meet them and realize they’re not perfect and care less about them) but I’m just so busy with work and yet at the same time I’m so bored all the time and getting messages from him is at least some form of excitement but the messages just come SO infrequently. And then I open a message and realize it’s clearly a message he sent out to a group of people and I feel even worse than before I got the message lmao.

Oh one thing I didn’t mention above is that in those first couple days of us talking on snapchat, even though the conversations were short he at least SEEMED so interested like he even sent video messages responding to my snapchats sometimes. But now I’m realizing that I’m pretty sure those videos were also sent to a group of people because it’s likely that multiple people asked him what he did today or whatever.

Anyways, I really just want him to ghost me at this point so I can stop waiting by my phone like a little kid waiting for a snapchat message to come through.

[sneebyy]

1-92 for the make me admit stuff ask :3

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? I mean I already have soooo :P @calibratedcatnip

2. You talked to an ex today, correct? Nop

3. Have you taken someones virginity? Nop

4. Is trust a big issue for you? Not really, I do my best to trust people and usually succeed c:

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? No, it’s been four days since I last hung out with my love and that’s not recent at all and she left so long ago and I’m dying ;-;

6. What are you excited for? Seeing my love again, being done with finals, sleeping, and not being tired.

7. What happened tonight? I took a nap then woke up at like 11:30pm

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? It can be cute or just kinda sad depending on the girl. Not really disgusting though.

9. Is confidence cute? Depends.

10. What is the last beverage you had? SimplyTM Strawberry Lemonade

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? My love, my mom, and my sister

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? No lol

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? I mean today is saturday night and I already slept a bunch and I’m gonna do homework so sleep and do homework.

14. What are you going to spend money on next? Probably food

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? Yesss!!!

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? I hope so. I have a lot I need to improve about myself. I hope I can at least a little bit within the next three months. I’m not sure though.

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? My love and my friend Grant

18. The last time you felt broken? I always feel a little broken because of my sleep stuff, but mentally I haven’t in a while in a long time, so that’s good.

19. Have you had sex today? Nop

20. Are you starting to realize anything? uh. n-no? is something going on here? am I missing something?

21. Are you in a good mood? Yeah I’m in a pretty okay mood c:

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? Sharks swim in the ocean and the ocean is cold and I don’t like swimming in cold water so no

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? Yes! And my mom’s.

24. What do you want right this second? 3 naps laying with my love ;-;

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? Idk, I’d be really surprised tbh because I trust her a lot. But I’d be really sad and curl up in a ball in bed then idk

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? Yup

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? Nop

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? Probably a meme about cats

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? My love ;-; a lot ;-;

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? Depends

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? That would’ve been uhhhhh. That guy I was playing warframe with. So no? I mean I think he’s a guy. probably. really don’t know for sure tbh.

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? Yessss! My looooove! 

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? No I drink soda. Not super often, but I have nothing against it and do occasionally

34. Listening to? The white noise of my space heater

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? Ye, I never use pen, and I don’t take notes digitally or anything.

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? My love is at her house I think?

37. Do you believe in love at first sight? I mean the idea of it is cute, but idk. not really.

38. Who did you last call? My looooove! last night!! we talked for a while and it was so nice c:

39. Who was the last person you danced with? I’ve never danced with anyone I don’t think?

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? Because my love is cute and wonderful and I love her :3

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? too long ago

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? nop

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? evry day

44. Do you tan in the nude? No, I don’t tan

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? Nop. Never :3

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? Almost actually! I talked to my love on the phone until I was gonna sleep but then I couldn’t sleep so I stayed up for a bit :/

47. Who was the last person to call you? Dominos to open the gate so they could deliver me pizza.

48. Do you sing in the shower? nop

49. Do you dance in the car? is that physically possible?

50. Ever used a bow and arrow? like once at the fair! It was kinda fun I think?

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? High school graduation lol

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? Yes

53. Is Christmas stressful? It can be if there’s too much family

54. Ever eat a pierogi? wtf is that?

55. Favorite type of fruit pie? Apple!

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Astronaut when I was real small, then a paleontologist, then a roller coaster designer

57. Do you believe in ghosts? nop

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? Ye

59. Take a vitamin daily? I did until I ran out a few weeks ago. I need to get more :V

60. Wear slippers? no, but I should!! that’s a good idea!

61. Wear a bath robe? Nop

62. What do you wear to bed? my birthday suit

63. First concert? Weird Al Yankovic. Not even joking.

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? Target

65. Nike or Adidas? Nike. I like their rly light running shoes.

66. Cheetos Or Fritos? cheetos

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? Both

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? Ew

69. Ever take dance lessons? When I was a small child I took hip hop lessons for like one day

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? My love could probably be a great writer, or maybe I could see her being a therapist if she gets her mental stuff figured out to help people that went through a lot of hard stuff like she did c:

71. Can you curl your tongue? Yis

72. Ever won a spelling bee? Nop

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Yes!

74. What is your favorite book? Probably Hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy? Or maybe slaughterhouse 5?

75. Do you study better with or without music? Depends. I do both.

76. Regularly burn incense? I wish!

77. Ever been in love? Yessss!! with @calibratedcatnip c: my love.

78. Who would you like to see in concert? Caravan Palace and Deadmau5

79. What was the last concert you saw? Weird Al Yankovic lmao

80. Hot tea or cold tea? Cold, and sweetened too because I’m trash

81. Tea or coffee? Both

82. Favorite type of cookie? gingersnap

83. Can you swim well? I can swim alright. Could probably be better.

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Ye

85. Are you patient? No lol

86. DJ or band, at a wedding? A single man playing a banjo

87. Ever won a contest? Yes, I once won free surf lessons then proceeded to chafe my legs on my wetsuit over the course of the week until I was in extreme pain. Also the sand on that beach had very small red worms in it and it was really creepy

88. Ever have plastic surgery? Nop

89. Which are better black or green olives? I’ve never eaten an olive

90. Opinions on sex before marriage? Having sex before marriage is a Sin and if you do it you will go to Hell for eternity

91. Best room for a fireplace? All of them

92. Do you want to get married? Yesss. To my looove c:

[alex-guerin]

I’ve tried putting up something about this on facebook, but the comments and messages I got from “well meaning friends” were...well...distressing to say the least. Especially considering they only know small bits about what’s going on, the bits that I’ve told them. So, I need to drop some facts about some shit that’s been happening the last two weeks. 

Two weeks ago, exactly, I had to work a Saturday shift at work. All three shifts did. There was no escaping it. Second shift loud mouth stayed to try and help us and at 4:30 when Jason came in, she split, went and cornered him about me, and when I left that morning Jason gave me his phone number and told me if I wanted to give him a call sometime...

I was ecstatic! We spent pretty much all day Saturday and Sunday texting each other and getting to know each other. We talked Monday at work, texted Monday after he got off work. This became the norm very quickly. We literally have become incapable of going a day without texting or talking to each other. Towards the end of last week he drop the other shoe I’d been waiting to hear fall, and that was a text that said “Truthfully, I’m single cause I choose to be, I’m not ready for a relationship yet. I’m just trying to take care of myself and be the best dad I can be.” I kinda saw it coming, but it still hurt, but at the same time, in the same text he told me I didn’t have to back off (my flirting) and he really didn’t know what I could screw up (I’d sleep deprived texted him telling him how terrified I was of screwing things up with him, that’s what prompted his confession of being single cuz he chose to be). Still, even with that, things haven’t changed. We see each other at work, we smile at each other, we talk, we joke, we spend time with each other at work if we can, and after work I usually lose at least an hour’s worth of sleep cuz I’m staying up so he and I can text each other. For the most part, we tell each other “sweet dreams” when one of us is heading to bed (aka, when I’m heading to bed), and always tell each other “See ya in the morning!” We’ve talked each other down from quitting. He gave me permission to hug, which I’ve tried very hard not to abuse, and permission to steal his hat and glasses if I find them lying around while he’s in the freezer working. He lets me borrow his freezer gloves if I have to do any amount of work in the freezer for longer than just a couple seconds, and if he doesn’t need them, and he’ll play around with me when he’s in the cooler and we’ll pick on each other and crack each other up and it’s fantastic. 

We know so much about each other now, even after just two weeks of talking/texting. I know that he’s 37, born and raised in San Antonio, TX, spent a lot of time in Alabama with his grandpa though. His mom was a single parent and his dad wasn’t in the picture a lot, but still did what he could to support Jason and his brother. His brother is 2 years younger than him, and they’re close af. He also has a half brother who is 12 years younger than him who he’s never actually spoken to. I know that he moved to Illinois in 2007, and I’m assuming it wasn’t long after he moved here that he met and married the woman who is now his ex-wife. I know he has two kids, a daughter who is 8 and his son is 7, and he gets them every other weekend, and that he thinks the world of them (enough so that just today he and his daughter went out shopping while her brother was at a sleepover birthday party, and Jason dropped $300 on clothes for her. No, he really doesn’t have that kind of money, but he did it anyway). I know that he’s been so close to quitting at work that he stormed out one day and management stood at the door just to make sure he’d come back. He’s got such a damned sense of responsibility at work, that he’s been there a year and two months now, and has NEVER missed a day of work. He’s never called in sick, or taken a vacation day, nothing. He has his kids until Monday this week, and he still texted me saying he might not be into work on Monday, “unless [he] can find a babysitter”. That’s how strong a sense of responsibility he has. I know he played baseball in college, though he never finished college, and that he can see far away without his glasses on but not up close. I know that he got his license suspended two years ago for DUIs he’d had when he was younger and didn’t do anything about, and he’ll get his license back in a year. He plays video games when he gets the chance, which given how crazy work has been for him lately, isn’t very often anymore. 

We don’t see each other outside of work. Not for lack of trying on my part, he’s usually just got something going on already, or he’s got his kids. Last weekend he did finally invite me over at like 8:30pm, but like a dumbass, he went inside and left his phone in the garage, so never saw me say it’d probably be 9:30 before I got there, depending where in Aurora he lived. So, no, I don’t even know where he lives or anything. We literally just text each other. The most physical contact we have is when I hug him at work either when I’m heading out for the night/day, or when I’m about to lose my mind and need that little bit of grounding to keep me sane; or when he comes in for labels and playfully bumps his shoulder into mine or something. That’s it. That’s the extent of our physical contact. This is important to remember. Keep this in mind. 

Last night he and I were texting and we spent a good long while making each other laugh with ridiculously empty threats about what would happen to him if he came into work Monday morning instead of calling off so he can spend more time with his kids. The talk turned a little real and then all of the sudden I’m flying sky high and utterly speechless and ready to burst into tears when he sends me a text saying, “Sometimes I fly by you in the lift and I just give you a look and you smile and it makes me feel better.” I sat there staring at my phone, on the verge of tears, unsure of how to answer for the longest time. During that time, he sends me another text that had me crashing back down to reality, “I don’t want to upset you, but you know I’m not looking to date right now”. It hurts being reminded that he’s not looking for a relationship right now, or to date right now. He’s told me a couple of times he’s just not ready to yet. He wants to focus on himself and taking care of his kids, and I get that. It still hurts a bit, but I get that. 

I posted on Facebook last night after this happened, asking if I was just setting myself up for heartbreak by holding out a small bit of hope on that “right now” changing, was I completely hopeless? We’re friends, there’s absolutely no doubt about that now, we’re very much friends, and I’ve told him I’d rather have his friendship than nothing at all. I’m kind of a little attached to him. We at least know pretty much where we stand with each other. After I posted my question and concern on Facebook, suddenly I’m getting all kinds of “well meaning friends” commenting and messaging me telling me yes, you’re being a fool. Guys who play the “not ready for a relationship card” are always only using it so they can have all the benefits of being a boyfriend, without being tied down to you. They use that card basically so they can have sex without being committed to you. Move on. Ignore him. Cut him out of your life right now. Don’t get your hopes up cuz you’re only gonna get hurt by him. But...like...what if he’s NOT using that line as an excuse? He and I aren’t sleeping together (even though one of my co-workers is convinced we are). I’ve already explained our extent of physicality with each other. What if he really means it, that he’s not ready for anything because his marriage ended rather recently. Which, I’m pretty sure it did. Am I still a fool for holding out hope? Knowing what I do about him and given we’ve only hugged maybe three or four times -- all times initiated by myself?

I don’t know. I told myself today I wasn’t going to text him, just to test the fact that we can’t make it a day without texting. A little after 2pm I got a text from him asking how my day was going. This doesn’t really sound like a guy who is just interested in sex, even if he did send me a text yesterday afternoon that was sent out of his own sleep deprived insanity as part of a joke we’d been teasing about most of the day (”I do dangle though lmao” ...yeah, he made a dick joke. What guy doesn’t?).  I dunno. I just...I wanna hold out that hope, cuz I really like him, and the more I learn about him, the harder I fall. 

I just dunno....

[welovekpopscenarios]

No More Routine ( Mingyu X Reader)

Admin: Candi Request: “Hi! Can I request a Mingyu fluff please? Thank you! – anon” Fandom: SEVETEEN Characters: Mingyu x Reader, Kihyun Genre/warning(s): Fluff, a bit of angst Words: 3.3k Authors note: I was mad excited to write this! Mingyu is my bias from SEVENTEEN and I adore him with all my heart ;-; he’s so cute. Also, I love Mingyu so much I thought he deserved a series so this is part 1, fluffy part that was requested by the anon so I won’t disappoint but the other parts (there will be part 2 and possibly part 3) will have angst so get ready for the feels train. Leave me feedback if you’d be interested in reading the series. I put my heart and soul into this lmao.

Part 2

It was a dull Friday, it started getting colder as Autumn was approaching. You and Mingyu were together for 2 years now, living together and deeply in love. You both wake up and do your usual morning routine. Mingyu is always at work but so are you, the thing that differs between your schedules is that you have an actual schedule, a timetable, you start and finish at a certain time, Mingyu works as long as required resulting in little time for each other.

           You lazily get off the bed and and go to the bathroom, you don’t feel too well, you have a gut wrenching feeling something will go wrong today. You try to brush it off but you usually trusted your gut so you decided to be cautious for the day. You walk out of the bathroom only to see Mingyu still hasn’t got up.

           “Baby, you have to get up, you’ll be late for practice.” You throw a pillow at him, he doesn’t budge. You decided to put on music as loud as you could without the neighbors filing a complaint. You jump on top of him with a hair brush in your hand that was being violently used as a microphone. Mingyu quickly opens his eyes and starts laughing at you.

           “Alright alright I’ll get up!”

           You kiss him and he kisses you back, there was a feeling of tension in the air but you decided to get off him before it got out of hand, you didn’t have time this morning for fooling around and neither did he.

           You both dress yourselves quickly and run out the door, Mingyu always walked you to your bus stop before he went to work.

           “Enjoy your day at work!” Mingyu said as he walked away from you.

9am Mingyu POV

           After I walked Y/N off I went to the studio. I met the guys all standing on top of each other.

           “What’s going on?” I shouted to try to get their attention but no one responded, it worried me. I decided to give them some time before asking again, I wanted to prepare myself mentally at what they had to say, their faces didn’t look very happy so I was expecting the worst.

           After 3 minutes of waiting, Wonwoo answered me; “We’re going on tour in America!” That sentence felt like a ton of bricks being fired at me all at once. I was overjoyed. We all started jumping around from happiness. We couldn’t believe we finally got the chance to go to America.

           “We’re going to be gone for 4-6 months, depends on what countries our manager decides on.” Hoshi said with a hint of worry.

           “That’s fine that’s going to be amazing!” I shout out.

           All the guys don’t seem so happy and all look at me quite nervously. I don’t understand why they’re not as happy as I am. This is huge for our band. We need this!

           “Mingyu, think about it, 4-6 months, we’re not going to be travelling from Korea to America all the time, we’re staying in America for that time. You’re not going to see Y/N.” Hoshis voice turned quieter from all the realization that just came over me. My heart dropped and my body went cold. Y/N and I never spent that much time apart from each other.

           After a while, I got over the thought and acted excited for the sake of the band. Even though I wasn’t going to see Y/N for so long I knew she’d still be happy for me. I have to be positive, it’s the only way, besides, we’re together for 2 years now, a bit of time apart won’t impact our relationship. I was beginning to regain the happiness again. Everyone noticed my mood improve and we were all ecstatic again. We were all so motivated that we didn’t stop practicing until 10pm.

9am Y/N POV

           “God, I love him.” I thought to myself as I watched him walk away towards his studio. I get on the bus and shift my eyes towards the window, I rest my chin on my palm and day dream for the duration of the journey. I liked my job, even though it wasn’t my dream job, I still liked it, working in a small convenience store was nice because it was usually quiet, everyone at work was always nice and took care of each other. As a hobby, I made short movies and recorded some stuff for different companies. It got me a bit of extra money which was always nice.

           I got to the place and was greeted by my lovely manager, he told me my tasks for the day and I got started straight away. It was never hard work, just a bit of cleaning, serving customers and bringing out stock.

           “Hey!” I hear a familiar voice and turn around. It was Kihyun, I jumped at the sight of him and hurried over to hug him. He was my best friend ever since I moved to Seoul, we met at a café and got on so well. It’s so hard to keep up with him because of his schedule, like Mingyu he was an idol so hanging out with him was impossible.

           “Oh my god Kihyun! What are you doing here?”

           “I haven’t seen you in two weeks and I got a day off so I wanted to come over to see one of my favourite girls!”

           “One of? You mean your favourite girl.” I smile at him. It was nice of him to come visit. Mingyu didn’t like you hanging around with him because he felt like he was trying to steal you away from him. You two were extremely close so you could see his point but you aren’t property, you still did what you wanted to do.

           “You can have your break now if you want? Go ahead and take an hour.” My manager noticed us talking. He was always so nice to me, I was so grateful for him.

           “Are you sure?”

           “100% sure” he smiled.

           I grab my bag and we go to the café we met at, I got coffee for the both of us and he purchased paninis for us. We talked for a while about our lives, he told me how hard they all worked on releasing Shine Forever and I just talked about my mediocre life and how great my job is and how my filming is going. He never judged the way I live, with stars it’s difficult to maintain a friendship because a lot of them feel like they need friends that are as popular as them but Kihyun was much different, he cared about what was inside the person rather than the exterior image. We talked for the whole hour and I realized I have to go back to work once I checked the time, I knew I was already late so we gathered ourselves quickly and hurried back to the store, we said our goodbyes and he said he’ll text me.

           For the rest of the day I just cleaned around the shop and waited until 6pm to be finished, I couldn’t wait to go back home and work a bit on editing my new project.

           “Will you be okay closing the store alone?” my manager asks me.

           “I did it before so I think I’ll be fine!” I reassure him.

           Once you were at home you went to take a shower and made some dinner. You felt inspired so you made a proper dinner, not some noodles. You made spring rolls, a nice refreshing salad and a bit of sticky rice. You made enough for yourself and Mingyu and decided to wait for him.

           By 8:30pm your stomach growled at you, you couldn’t wait any longer, you took your plate and ate your dinner. You knew Mingyu works endlessly but it seemed longer than usual today. You didn’t give it much thought, you grabbed your laptop and continued your project.

           You noticed an hour passed and he still wasn’t home, you felt your stomach clench from worry. You decided to call him but there was no answer. You stopped working on your laptop because you couldn’t concentrate anymore, you were too worried about Mingyu. You tried getting in contact with the other guys but they didn’t answer either. Was this what your gut warned you about this morning? You roamed around the apartment not being able to settle, your mind was focused on only one thing, Mingyu, and why the hell he wasn’t home yet.

           You heard the doorknob move, your senses were heightened with worry so the slight movement of the knob made you dash towards the door. Mingyu stood in the door frame with flowers in his hand. The worry and anger in you faded away fast after seeing his dorky smile.            “I’m so sorry, practice was crazy today, we started working on a new routine and everyone was very energetic, we couldn’t waste such a good day!” he said as he handed you the flowers. You noticed there was a note in it. You took it out and read it; “Tomorrow I asked for a day off, will you go on a date with me?” He was so cheesy but you loved that about him.

           “So where are we going tomorrow?” you were excited at the thought of spending the day with him, it didn’t matter to you where you went.

           “I want a chill day, nothing fancy, I want to go to the park with you, maybe a small picnic?”

           You were overjoyed that you’ll finally spend the day together. Your weekends were spent doing your own thing while Mingyu worked. The fact that you’ll have him for a full day made you beyond excited.

           The day was nice, it was cold but the sun was still out. You laid down the blanket on the grass and the both of you sat down. You brought plenty of snacks with you for the picnic. There was a comfortable silence surrounding you. The beauty of your relationship was that you didn’t need to say much to each other, you still knew how much you loved each other.

           You took out a sandwich you made and Mingyu leaned over to take a bite out of it. You pout at him, he never took small bites, once he bit into your food it was pretty much halfway gone but you always let it go since you knew his company puts all the guys on strict diets, you wanted him to get as much food in him as he could.

           The park was very quiet today which made you more comfortable. You lied down on the blanket and dragged Mingyu down with you. You turned to him and just absorbed his beauty. You put your hand on his cheek and caressed his face, he grabbed your hand and kissed you, the kiss felt needy. You cuddled into him and you stayed like that for a while, every minute that you spent with him felt precious, you always missed him, even if he was next to you.

           “I want to go shopping!” Mingyu exclaimed.

           “Shopping? You? You want to go shopping?” I said in disbelief.

           “Yeah I want to get new clothes and I want to spoil you.”

           “Mingyu no! You’re not allowed! I’d feel bad”

           “Nothing would make me happier right now, please let me do this, you deserve it.” He looked at you with his beautiful, pleading eyes making you give in to his stare.

           You made your way over to the shopping center, his hand was holding tight onto yours for the whole time, if you even moved an inch away from him he’d pull you back in, you were both so in need of each other, this day was filled with happiness and neediness.

           Once you finally made your way to the shopping center you went to grab some ice cream first. He put some on his finger and went to boop your nose, you did the same thing to get him back but he quickly dodged it. You cleaned yourself up and decided to sit down to finish your ice cream.

           “Where do you want to go first?” you asked

           “Hmm, let’s go to Zara, they always have really cool clothes there for men, you can check me out while I change.” He winked at you. Butterflies in your stomach going out of control.

           You make your way to Zara and Mingyu walks towards the mens section, you follow him in there. They always have cute beanies so you take a look at them, Mingyu sneaks up behind you and scares you, you scream so loud everyone who was in the shop looked at you. You hit him with the beanie that you had in your hand as he uncontrollably laughed at you, eventually making you burst out with laughter too.

           He tried on a couple of things, your favourite item was the jeans that hugged his long slim legs so perfectly. He knew they looked good judging from your reaction and decided to purchase them. As you walked out of the shop you noticed a camera shop right in front of Zara. You glued your face to the window of the shop, you spotted your dream piece, the newest drone, you wanted one so bad but you could never afford it but you knew it would help with your future films. Mingyu walked into the shop without you, you were too busy looking at the drone to notice him go in. You started explaining every feature it had but you were just talking to yourself since Mingyu wasn’t next to you. After you realized he wasn’t answering you looked behind you and he wasn’t there. You looked around but your eyes couldn’t spot him. You suddenly see him coming out of the shop, your eyes instantly drop to the bag he was holding in his hand.

           “What is that?” you ask skeptically. He smiles at you and hands it to you. As you look inside it you quickly realise it’s the drone.

           “Mingyu! No way! Noooo! That’s crazy! You shouldn’t have, no take it back I can’t accept it.” Your words leak out of you one by one. Mingyu just kissed your cheek and kept on walking.

           “Come back here! I can’t have this, it’s so expensive.” You cry out to him but he ignores you. You’re low key very excited and don’t want to take it back. You catch up to him and stop him only to press your lips into his.      “Thank you so much.” You breathe out. He kisses you a bit more before the both of you decided you wanted to go home.

           “Could you help me clean the house a bit? I’ll hoover and you clean the bathroom? Afterwards we can make dinner and watch a movie.” You ask him politely because you know he hates cleaning but you’d appreciate some help.

           “Anything for you baby.” He says without putting up a fight.

           Your relationship was very domestic, you were together but it felt like you were married already, you had your morning and evening routines, you both enjoyed taking care of your house and making it perfect for the both of you. Your apartment was a studio and even though that makes it sound small it really wasn’t, it was one of those studios that only the wealthy own. You weren’t wealthy but your money combined with Mingyus was able to get you this beauty of an apartment. Cleaning usually involved you singing and dancing and Mingyu loved every minute of it. He could never get enough of that sight, you in your shorts and a tank top with slippers, jumping up and down singing some hits while you hoovered, it was his favourite thing. Mingyu finished cleaning before you so he got started on the dinner without letting you know. The smell of the food stopped your hopping and you quickly looked over to the kitchen from the upstairs bedroom. You hurried the cleaning up because Mingyus cooking was your favourite, you couldn’t wait to see what he made.

           You put the hoover away and ran downstairs, you sneaked up behind him and wrapped yourself around him, the feeling of your body on his made him hum.

           “What are you cooking baby?”

           “Kimchi, your favourite.” He smiled to himself. You couldn’t believe how lucky you were to be with him, he was so considerate, he never made you feel unloved. He spoiled you whenever he got the chance.

           You bring your food over to the table in front of the TV and you both sit back and enjoy your kimchi. You turn on the TV to watch some random show that was on to get some entertainment while you enjoyed your delectable dinner. After you both finished Mingyu brought the dishes to the kitchen and cleaned them up. He sat back on the couch and you got closer to him, your back on his chest, his long arms around you. Perfectly interlocked souls. You grab your laptop from the desk and Mingyu asks for his book. You stay in the same position, the warmth of his body on you comforts you. You stay like this for two hours, you were working on your editing as usual and Mingyu reading his book. The time you spent together could be effortless, you both felt love radiate from each other at all times so no matter what you did you still felt fulfilled with how you decided to spend your day.

           “Babe we should go to bed, it’s already 12am.” Mingyu points out the time and you both scramble off the couch. You both do your routines as always and slip your sleepy bodies into bed. You cuddle for a while and talk about the future together, how you both want to stay together and share an amazing life, Mingyu even brought up kids which surprised you, he never talked about that before. Suddenly something felt wrong, your gut twisted, the same feeling you had yesterday morning. Mingyu sat up on the bed, his head hanging down.

           “You’re worrying me, what’s wrong? Tell me.” You demand. Your palms start sweating, you know he’s about to break some news to you and you were not prepared.

           “Y/N, yesterday we got some news, great news actually. We’re going on a tour in America.”

           “Oh my God! That’s amazing! I’m so happy for you.”

           “I’m going to be gone for approximately 6 months Y/N.”

           Quickly you felt your gut mock you, you knew something bad was going to happen but you chose to ignore it yesterday. You smile at Mingyu but even he wasn’t buying it, you were hurting and he knew. No more Mingyu and his adorable smile, his beautiful face and his kisses. No more getting up in the morning with him and going to the bus stop together. No more dinners with him or movies.

No more routine.

Part 2

[sugasgrowl]

Saturdays (pt 1)

Genre: Fluff/Smut (in pt 2)

Member: Jungkook

Warnings: None 

Word Count: 4484

Summary: After three months of loneliness and insecurities while on tour, Jungkook comes home to you.

Part 2

This is just pure fluff tbh. But Part 2 will much more explicit (and will be posted within the next two or three days at most). Enjoy!

You weren’t sure exactly how long you’d been sitting on the window seat with your knees pulled into your chest, the cool wall leaching all the warmth from your spine through the thick material of your hoodie. All day you’d been lounging in the comfort of your apartment, basking in the calming serenity of the pouring rain pattering against the wide window. The view of the Seoul skyline piercing the gray swirling clouds above was beautiful in the most hazy and sleepy way, almost as if the entirety of South Korea had just woken up from a Saturday-afternoon nap and hadn’t yet wiped the sleep from its eyes.

Saturdays were one of your favorite days, mainly because you didn’t have to worry about your usual responsibilities of college and work. You preferred to spend most of your Saturdays at home to recharge before having to finish up any assignments you’d been procrastinating over on Sunday, and you often found yourself devoting Saturdays to pampering yourself. Eating whatever you wanted, messily slathering on a face mask, taking a long steaming bath to relax your tense muscles, the works. At that point in the day, you’d already cooked yourself chocolate chip pancakes (You woke up around 11:30am, but who’s to say pancakes have to be reserved solely for breakfast time?) while your favorite moisturizing mask was caked on your skin. You stuffed the fluffy, sweet deliciousness in your face ravenously as you binge-watched YouTube videos, the only worry you had being that you may not have enough syrup.

Now you sat, four hours later, curled up by the window, still sucked into the void that is YouTube and enjoying the melancholy rainfall that was baptizing the streets of Seoul.

As much as you loved Saturdays, you couldn’t help but feel sad that you’d spent so many without your boyfriend around to participate in the self-care. The two of you had made it a tradition to spend Saturdays together and bond over cartoons and unhealthy snacks. Even though he basically lived with you when he wasn’t forced to stay at the dorms or travel for a tour, Jungkook was insistent on coming over and talking about each of your weeks through mouthfuls of pizza.

You heaved a sigh at the slight sinking feeling in your chest at remembering the last Saturday Jungkook had been home. The two of you had both gotten a little too tipsy (aka: you were both piss drunk) on cheap wine and ended up singing at the top of your lungs and clumsily dancing around the apartment to the Friends opening credits, the obnoxiously loud volume of the TV and your booming laughter causing your neighbor to complain the next morning. You were both ridiculously hungover the next day, and poor Kookie had a six hour dance practice starting at one in the afternoon. The stubborn motherfucker insisted that he was fine, dammit, and he would just go to practice and suffer through “like a man”. The memory of Namjoon calling you to tell you that Jungkook had puked all over the practice room floor in the middle of rehearsal brought a small smile to your face. God, he’s such an idiot.

You groaned as you raised your arms above your head in a stretch, all the joints in your body seeming to snap at once. At least he’s coming home today.

You unlocked your phone and reread the last messages you’d gotten from him.

[Jungkook] 6:03am: I’m getting on the plane. I’ll be home with you soon. I love you

[You] 11:32am: Be safe! I love you too

[Jungkook] 11:41am: Well good morning

[Jungkook] 11:42am: I guess I’m glad nothing bad happened to me. You would’ve just slept right on through it.

[You] 11:42am: To be honest, I’m a bit disappointed. I was expecting you and Taehyung to find a way to crash the plane by now.

[Jungkook] 11:45am: Lmao sorry to disappoint but Tae is sitting with Jimin instead this time

[You] 11:45am: Did you make a scene

[You] 11:46am: Did you #expose them for the cheating boyfriends that they are

[You] 11:46am: Did #Nochu come thru

[Jungkook] 11:48am: Of course. My emotional speech about their betrayals made the stewardess and several passengers cry.

[You] 11:51am: Where is this man’s Oscar

You didn’t hear from him again until an hour ago, and you could practically feel his excitement buzzing through the phone grasped in your hands.

[Jungkook] 3:30pm: We’re about to land!

[Jungkook] 4:17pm: We’re waiting for our luggage!!

[Jungkook] 4:39pm: Jimin’s bag is lost

[Jungkook] 4:56pm: God this is taking forever

[Jungkook] 4:59pm: I just asked if we could leave Jimin behind but they said no

[Jungkook] 5:11pm: We’re leaving the airport!!!!!!!!!!!! I’ll be home soon!!!!!!!

The last message made you smile so big it made your cheeks hurt. He was so excited to be coming home--and you were so excited for him to rest, if even for a short while. You knew that he was so much more exhausted than he would ever admit. Jungkook loved his job more than anything, but he was still human. Well, you debated that fact on occasion. The boy had a tendency to go and go and go until he was half dead, but even then, the average person would have already been put in a padded room from the amount of stress he faced on the daily.

The past three months had been rough without him--it only being the second time Jungkook had ever had to leave you on tour with Bangtan--but aside from feeling lonely at night after having a particularly rough day, you were handling yourself amazingly well and even gave your boyfriend the space that you felt that he wanted during the stress of touring. Jungkook, on the other hand…

It wasn’t that he wasn’t handling it well. It was more like he just missed you so damn much that he didn’t know what to do with himself. While the touring process was new to you, you had easily adapted because that was just what had to be done and it was all you'd ever known. The first time that Jungkook had to leave for a tour, you had merely been on a few extremely casual dates, so there were really no huge emotional investments on either side yet. You’d formed a closer bond over time by sending texts and links to ridiculous YouTube videos back and forth--Jungkook’s sense of humor more often than not making you snort out loud in the middle of your lectures, the sudden outbursts forcing you to cover it up by pretending to go into a coughing fit. After the first tour, loving Jungkook through a pixelated screen had just become half of your relationship, and you'd both accepted that. But that didn't mean it was easy.

You knew Jungkook wasn’t used to having someone to miss while he was away aside from his family, and the unfamiliar emptiness in his arms where you would normally be made him feel exposed and vulnerable--like he was going into battle without his most important and protective armor. The insecurities plagued him, a swirling mass of what ifs echoing against the interior of his skull. There were many nights where you would be roughly yanked out of sleep, your ringtone blaring so loud that you would scramble to find your phone amidst the tangle of sheets and the throw of darkness--your heart beating so hard in your chest that it felt like it was going to burst through your ribs and flop into bed beside you, only to find that it was merely Jungkook needing to hear your voice.

The last night that he had called in such a state was a week ago, the conversation still fresh on your mind as you waited for him to come home from the airport, your eyes trailing after a couple of silvery raindrops that rolled down the windowpanes in front of you.

“Hello?” That night you answered on the sixth ring with a tongue thick with sleep and eyes still unable to fully open.

“Baby?” Jungkook’s voice was almost always strained when he called you like this, as if he was trying his hardest to keep from showing just how vulnerable and needy he was--although you always knew. That time in particular, the pet name tumbled past his lips in a hurried rush.

“Hey, Jungkookie,” you smiled as you rubbed your eyes. He hesitated, the four seconds worth of grainy silence confirming your suspicions of him calling out of feeling alone in a crowd of six. “Bad day?”

He sighed lowly, and you could practically see him raising his thumb to his lips to nervously gnaw on the ragged cuticle. You could just faintly make out the sound of a rustling somewhere on the other end of the line, and you knew he was bouncing his leg, the nervous energy desperately trying to escape.

“Sort of...” he trailed off, not wanting to voice his actual feelings, god forbid, but you always patiently waited in silence until he felt ready to talk. “I really miss you.”

“I miss you too, more than you know,” even with thousands of miles between the two of you, the sounds of the wheels turning in his head were nearly audible as he tried to think of how to word his burdens.

“Talk to me, boy…” You sang the phrase to the tune of Rock Your Body by Justin Timberlake as out of tune and off pitch as you could, your voice that was still gravelly with sleep only adding to the effect. Anything to make Jungkook smile.

You often used this trick to get him to spill whatever was bothering him, and more often than not, it would illicit an airy chuckle to escape from him and begin to thaw the anxiety that had begun icing over his stomach. But that time all you got was a weak puff of air, a sorry excuse for a laugh.

He must really be upset, you thought.

After a moment, he spoke.

“You don’t….regret being with me, do you?” his voice was quiet, and even through the phone you could see his eyes timidly glued to his lap as he picked at the frayed holes in his jeans. “I mean...do you resent that I have to leave you for so long? Do you wish that you were with someone...normal?”

You blinked in confusion.

“What?” your voice hitched up in surprise.

“Never mind. Forget I called,” he babbled, “I shouldn’t have woken you up. I mean, it’s what? Almost four in--”

“Jeon Jungkook, hush,” you firmly interrupted, causing nervous rambling to die in his throat. “Why would you ask me that?”

He paused.

“Um…” the humiliated blush that was burning his cheeks was nearly audible.

“I….” he began, but the words dissolved on his tongue like a bitter cotton candy. He let out a huff of frustration.

“I’m scared,” a tone of hopelessness tinged with shame dripped from his lilting voice. “I love you so much, and I’m scared that you’re going to realize that this? What we have? Isn’t what you deserve.”

Your brow furrowed as you processed his words. How could he be so dumb sometimes? Couldn’t he tell that you were madly in love with him? That he was your best friend, and you could never give him up for anything? You been together for almost a year, shouldn’t he know that by now?

“Jungkook--”

“I’m the man, I‘m supposed to be reassuring you! And instead I’m the one calling you all the time because I miss you so much that I can’t focus on anything. You don’t ever call me like this. I’m the one calling you in the middle of the night because I’m feeling real anxiety for the first time in my life over the thought of losing you. And I’m a fucking singer!” his voice was growing louder as he let his stress out into the light, and his bouncy Busan accent peaked through the more worked up he got.

“I get followed by crazy fans and have hate thrown at me every day, and yet the only thing that really cuts me deep is the thought of not getting to hear you do Justin Timberlake an injustice over the phone anymore.”

The sentiment was meant to be joking, because he didn’t like talking about his feelings nine times out of ten--it made him feel guilty for not being content with his job and his life all the time. He didn’t want to seem ungrateful.

He paused for a moment to catch his breath, and that was when you jumped in.

“Jungkook,” you softly said, “you do call me when you’re upset. I can always tell the difference between a call like one of these and a normal phone call to check in. But have you failed to notice that I always answer these urgent phone calls?”

He didn’t answer, so you continued.

“I’m scared, too. I’m terrified you’re going to find a much hotter, more talented, idol girlfriend to love. But the reason I don’t call you like this very often is because for one thing, I hardly ever know where the hell you are. For all I know, you’re back in Seoul chilling in the dorms right now,” Jungkook let out a single grunt of a chuckle.

“And I also don’t call you freaking out because right around the time when I start to feel lonely or sad, you end up calling me. I may not know where you are in the world, but you’ll always know where I am. I’m not going anywhere.”

There were a few beats of warm silence as your reassuring words released the tension in Jungkook’s shoulders and loosened the uneasy knot pulled lethally tight in his chest.

“So you don’t want someone normal?” the smile in his voice was evident, but you could still make out a hint of uncertainty in his tone.

“Kookie, if I wanted someone normal, I wouldn’t have chosen you to begin with, you dumbass,” a grin broke out across your face as the sound of Jungkook’s musical laughter floated back to your ears. The mental image of him throwing his head back with his eyes scrunched tight with a genuine smile made you swoon.

“Promise?” he giggled.

“I promise, okay? You being famous isn’t what makes you abnormal to me. It’s your inherent dorkiness and embarrassing outbursts,” you teased.

“Don’t act like you don’t contribute,” he sassed.

“You love it.”

“I really, really do.”

At the end of the phone call, you could tell he felt better. It was like his burden dissipating also lifted one from your own shoulders, as if you had cleared up an insecurity you didn’t even know you had.

Before you, Jungkook had never loved someone at all, period, and now that he was madly in love with you, he felt as if he wasn’t doing enough. He hated not being able to take you on dates, real dates, where you could both go out without worrying if he would be followed by fans or paparazzi. He hated that he couldn't hold you every night and feel your icy toes shove themselves under his thighs, the biting cold nearly making him jump out of his skin every time. He hated never getting to post the cute pictures that he would take of you while you slept, or the horrendous selfies you would send him as you sat in class while he was at rehearsal. He wanted to shout how much he loved you from the rooftops, loud enough for all of both North and South Korea to hear. But the job that he loved so much prevented that.

He hated those things, but god, did he love you.

The thought that after all that time, you would finally be able to see him, and hold him, and do all the things you were able to do with him three months prior made you feel as if your body weighed twenty pounds lighter. Loneliness was a much heavier burden than you realized.

The sound of keys jingling and sliding into the lock made your head automatically whip towards the long awaited noise. For whatever reason, be it the suddenness of the noise while you were so deep in thought or the fact that your Jungkook was finally home, your heart fluttered inside your chest. On instinct, you rose to your feet and stood with your eyes glued to the entrance to your apartment. He’s home.

When the door finally swung open after what felt like an eternity of him fumbling with the knob that always seemed to stick, Jeon Jungkook stood before you for the first time in three months.

His hair was a dishevelled mess, the caramel blond and faded pink stripes sticking up in every which way in wispy tendrils around his brow that had collected the brunt of the rain on the way to your apartment. If you hadn’t been so stunned, you would have laughed at the very obvious line where his hat had protected the crown of his head from getting wet, leaving the top of his hair to be dry and fluffy--a stark contrast to the ends of his locks that were dripping wet and darkened with the freezing rain. Jungkook’s soaked beanie was clutched so tightly in his fist that his knuckles were white and little streams of water were dripping down his fingers and onto the floor from the fabric being wrung so extremely. His black hoodie was bunched up over one of his hips, as if he hadn’t bothered to pull it down or fix it in it any way when he stepped off the subway. The fabric was significantly darker over the broad expanse of his shoulders and chest where the rain had initially struck him, making it hopelessly cling to his leanly muscled frame.

Your heart skipped a beat as your eyes raked over his body and landed on his face. Without a stitch of makeup on his skin to hinder your view, you were able to see every little detail on him--even from across the room. The wind must have been much chillier than you thought, because his nose and cheeks were bright pink from the abuse of the nipping temperatures. All of his freckles and dark circles and scars were right in front of you, and they were so goddamn gorgeous that it made a lump form in your throat. He was so real. So real and so solid and so very, very beautiful. It was as if his image was enhanced and hyper-focused after being without him for so long.

The expression of disbelief written on your face must have been amusing, because Jungkook’s red, chill-swollen lips quirked themselves into a bright grin.

“I’m home,” he softly said, his smile growing even wider--the rise of his cheeks making his sparkling eyes disappear into slits that sat on the top of his cheekbones and nearly all thirty-two of his teeth flash in your direction.

The broken silence snapped you out of your trance, and you quickly found yourself shuffling across the room towards your boyfriend while muttering an ecstatic mantra of “You’re home, you’re home, you’re home, you’re home!” with a beaming smile on your face. He met you halfway, his long strides carrying him to you in a matter of three steps. You threw your arms around his neck and nestled your frame into his torso. Muscled arms wound themselves around your waist--one firmly snaking around the circumference of your lower back and the other trailing up your spine to gently grip at the curve of your shoulder--as he mumbled an incoherent string of words declaring just how much he missed you, his voice sounding an awful lot like he was trying not to cry.

“I missed you too,” your fingers wound themselves into his hair as you felt a sting behind your eyes. “I missed you so incredibly much, Jungkook.”

A startled gasp flew past your lips when the tip of Jungkook’s frigidly cold nose nuzzled itself into the warmth of your neck.

“Jesus,” you attempted to squirm away from the way from the way he was using you to thaw himself, but he simply pulled you tighter into his body.

“You’re freezing! Why didn’t you wear a coat, Jungkook? You’re going to get sick, you idiot!” you half laughed and half scolded, the smile on your face causing a single happy tear to squeeze from your eye.

His cheeks rose devilishly in the crook of your neck. He’d missed your playful insults so much.

“I was so excited to see you that I forgot to grab one from the dorm when I dropped off my suitcase,” his words were muffled by the fabric of your sweatshirt.

His dripping wet clothes were beginning to soak into your own and make you shiver. You placed your palms on both of his cheeks and pulled him back to get a better look at him up close--and partially to get his icicle of a nose the hell away from your flesh. Your eyes locked with his, the nearly-black irises seeming to place gentle kisses on every inch of your face as he surveyed your features. His mouth dropped open in a look of false and exaggerated surprise, his doe eyes twinkling like a thousand galaxies.

“Are you crying, (Y/N)?” he chided.

You let out a laugh poked his cheek.

“Are you? You’re looking a bit waterlogged.”

“What?” his brows raised, feigning innocence.

“This?” he gestured to his soaked lashes. “No, no. It’s not crying if the tears never fall, baby.”

You giggled and pulled his face closer to yours, the scent of his favorite cologne washing over you in the close proximity. Your lips brushed against his in a teasing kiss, the feeling of his chilled lips lightly grazing yours sending chills down your spine.

“God, you’re so warm,” he whispered, awestruck, his breath fanning over your face.

Jungkook’s hand ran itself painstakingly slow up your arm and the side of your neck, his icy fingertips trailing against your skin so lightly that goosebumps erupted across the expanse of your exposed flesh. Long fingers knotted themselves in the hair at the back of your neck to pull you into a deeper kiss, and the way his fingernails lightly grazed your scalp had your breath catching in your throat. The kiss was slow and languid, everything seeming to be moving at half its normal speed. With each move he made, icy droplets would drip from the ends of Jungkook’s hair and splatter faintly on your skin. Every brush of his lips and unhurried swipe of his tongue against yours was purposeful. Each shaky breath and quiet sigh was a message, a secret code that you’d cracked months and months before--every tender nibble on your lower lip and stroke of his swollen lips against your jaw a declaration of how much he loved you, punctuated with gentle swipes of his thumb against your cheekbone.

The way Jungkook was not only suddenly present in your life again, but also painting your lips with his most intimate and passionate kisses was making you weak in the knees. After all the months of being apart, you finally had him back in your arms. The crushing feeling of love for him was so overwhelming that your head started to spin. You brought your hand up to rest against his cheek and pulled away from the kiss ever so slightly--just enough to speak.

“I missed you,” you rested your forehead against his and looked into his eyes, your mouth beginning to water at the sight of his flushed cheeks and blown out pupils.

“I missed you so much. God, every single day it was like I was walking around in a daze,” you gave him a lingering peck before continuing. “I love you so much, Jungkook. I don’t think you realize how much.”

You began peppering kisses along his jaw, gentle at first--pulling a satisfied hum from him that quickly turned into a low moan when you switched to leaving burning open mouthed kisses that seared the still freezing skin on his neck. The contrast of your warm mouth and his cold skin was so drastic that it felt almost painful, his nerve endings having long forgotten what warmth was in the mile long walk from the subway to your apartment.

You pulled back to make eye contact with him and make sure that he was listening to what you were saying. He stared back at you with hooded eyes, doing his best to actually process your words.

“I’m sorry if I seemed distant while you were away. I just figured you would want some space to focus on work,” you brought your lips back to his, kissing the top and then the bottom before slowly tracing his lower lip with your tongue. His hands gripped your hips in an attempt to keep from losing focus on your loving words.

“I let the space change from an inch to a mile, and you felt insecure in our relationship because of that. Am I correct?”

Jungkook’s golden cheeks flushed a deep russet, his eyes leaving yours to wander aimlessly before dropping to the floor. He nodded, embarrassment  evident on his face. He hated admitting when he was struggling. He wasn’t supposed to struggle, he was the golden maknae.

You smiled fondly at him before intertwining your fingers with his and raising the tangle of warm and cold digits to brush your lips across his knuckles.

“Let me make it up to you,” you slyly said.

Jungkook’s eyes snapped up to meet yours, a knowing smirk tugging on the corner of his lips.

“Whatever do you have in mind, m’lady?” he suggestively raised his eyebrows and wrapped his arms around your waist.

You shivered at the chill that your now soaked clothes brought.

“Well, you feel like you’ve been inside a deep freeze for four days. Let’s warm you up.”

Jungkook’s eyes gleamed.

“You don’t mean…?” he began, a wide smile spreading across his face.

You nodded.

“Yes. I ordered more bath bombs and saved them all so we could use them together.”

Jungkook wiggled in excitement, doing a quick dance of waggling fingers and spastically tapping his toes.

“You’re the beeeeest,” he cheered as he heaved you over his shoulder--causing a surprised shriek to rip from your throat--and pranced off towards the master bedroom.

You couldn't contain your giddiness as your laughter rang out across your apartment. Jungkook was finally home, and your Saturday was finally as warm and relaxing as they used to be before he left.

[remembermemorablememories]

Friday, January 11, 2019

post #368

main points:

- chilling in bed on tinder, CMB and hinge

- dunkin donuts and the egg sandwich thing for brunch

- type yesterday’s blog post

- officially register for smash tourney

- do some trip planning with jwoos

- practice falcon in training mode

- long shower

- smash tourney for the rest of the night!

writing this on saturday january 12

today i:

- woke up at 10:30am ish. then snoozed until like 11am. then i was browsing on my phone and got sucked into tinder/CMB/hinge. i was mostly updating my hinge profile and sent out a message to two potential girls that were cool that are probably out of my league but oh well. shoot your shot right

- i got out of bed around 12:15pm and then went downstairs to eat dunkin donuts. sheena had to get her blood test taken again so dad took her there and got dunkin on the way back. i ate a raspberry filled donut and chocolate icing with sprinkles. then i made two more egg + spinach + cheese + ham on whole wheat toast and watched S2E4 of scrubs

- went back upstairs and typed up yesterday’s blog post in detail about the dermatologist appointment even though it was so short

also officially registered for the tourney! hoorah

- jwoos and i did some trip planning from 3:30-4pm. super short and just over text cause he couldn’t call in a cafe/didn’t want to be obnoxious. we just shifted everything by two weeks and everything else was the same LOL. and we saved money. booyah

- i practiced falcon in training mode doing short hop rising nairs, short hop falling nairs, bairs, bairs out of shield, nairs out of shield, and some other stuff. then i played a few games against the falcon on CPU. just to try to get warmed up i was expecting to get bodied at the tournament so i just wanted to at least be ready

- around 5pm i took a long shower, then left home around 5:40pm. dad had come back with the car by then

- i drove 20 minutes over to the venue and parked in an open parking lot across and then walked in. i checked in at registration and people were already playing doubles/friendlies. doubles started around 6pm (i got there around 6:15pm). i checked in and asked the guy to explain to me what the rules are of a set, with stage selection and character selection. then i kind of just walked around looking at people play

it was kind of socially awkward cause i was there by myself. but i read online that you can just ask people if they want to play friendlies. so i asked one guy who was just hanging out if he wanted to play and he was like sure. but he seemed kind of uninterested/annoyed i approached him. so we hopped on a set up but then the controller inputs didn’t seem to be working for some reason... so he was like “if we find another setup i’ll hit you up”. sooo rip. but then i found another kid playing by himself on a setup and was like “hey you mind if i join you?” and he was like “yeah sure”

so i played a bunch of friendlies with him. his name was james and he was like 16 years old :o he played a bunch of smash 4 before and was trying out smash ultimate. his dash dancing game was pretty good, i got baited a lot. he said he mained roy and wario i think. after like 8-10 games we stopped and i just went back to walking around the venue spectating. he taught me an infinite ledge trap with king k roll’s suction cannon which was interesting. and it only works on pokemon stadium so that’s good to know. i ate a granola bar i brought cause i wasn’t sure when i’d have time to eat. also i gave deepak and tyrone the stream link and they saw me on camera LOOOOL

- singles bracket started around 8pm. my first match was up against a megaman. i was expecting to get 0-2′ed cause i was going in with falcon and falcon is not great with projectiles. i lost the first game. then i actually won the second game. when i got the last stock during the game i was like... ??? holy shit LOL. now i can lose the 3rd game with dignity. and so i lost the third game and the set ended 1-2 so i got put into loser’s bracket. that was still pretty cool though. we did the rock paper scissors thing and did stage banning and such

i waited around for maybe 40 minutes until i got set up with someone in loser’s bracket. i could’ve gotten wawa and eaten dinner :p i was waiting from like 8:40-9:20 according to my chat with deepak and tyrone. they asked me to wave on cam and saw me waving on twitch lmao. i just kind of watched the matchups on stream while waiting

then my second set in loser’s bracket i played against a guy named james who used snake. i lost the first game, but then the second game i won. i was surprised i was able to win a game and was expecting to lose the third game like i did the first set to the megaman. then in the third game he switched things up to lucina because the matchup against snake with falcon was in my favor (at least for edge guarding). i got the first stock off of him and i think he felt a bit rushed and accidentally sd’ed his last two stocks edge guarding me :/ it was still in good fun though, he seemed a bit annoyed but we talked afterwards and it was fine :p

i waited around for maybe another 30 minutes and then got matched up against a zelda. he was a really friendly guy named duncan. falcon against zelda also isn’t that great of a matchup in my favor so i was expecting to lose this set. i lost the first game because he was using the knight and side b to edge guard me really well. when i approached him his f-tilts were also getting me a lot. but then i slowed down and took my time, waiting to find openings and then i actually won the second game. i was surprised again that i won a game. then in the third game, i won as well, taking my time to slow down and find punishes! duncan was really friendly and we hopped off the set up

i waited another 30 minutes to play the next person in loser’s bracket, who’d be determined by two people playing on stream. it was a megaman vs incineroar. i was hoping the incineroar lost so i could play incineroar because my matchup against megaman with falcon is just not great. to my luck, the megaman lost so i was going to go up against him :p 

around 10:30pm we started playing, the guy’s name was junior. we played the first game and surprisingly i won. i was so confused. but it was still a close game. the second game he adapted a bit more to my gameplay and although it was a close game, he won. then in the third game, i started overextending trying to get back to stage with an aerial when i should’ve just gone for ledge (i think i was starting to get impatient when i should’ve just slowed down). he also started avoiding my grabs better with his aerials, so i lost the third game as well :’( so i lost the set 1-2

i was knocked out but had a good run. lost the first set, won two sets, then lost the second set (double elimination). i talked with junior afterwards though, he was really friendly. he said i had a good falcon for starting out at my first tournament and the way to get better is to just continue practicing on my own and continue playing against other people at these weeklies. he told me about the fb page to follow and how tight the community is, which is great to hear. he suggested i stick around for friendlies cause that’s how you learn stuff by playing other people (which is also what i read online). what a cool dude

so i walked around for a bit after i lost the set (it was around 11pm by now). i found a guy named muhammad. we played a bunch of friendlies until 12am. i used falcon for a bit, then snake, then ganondorf. we were just kind of messing around. he played young link, little mac, lucina. i think we were on the same level of gameplay. we had some good mixups against each other. he also told me how to DI out of young link’s grounded up b (by DI-ing against the way he’s facing). it was really cool and fun. i feel like i learned a lot from friendlies than i did playing the sets to be honest. cause i talked with james and muhammad while we were playing whereas sets you play and then leave. it was pretty dope though

- around 12am i called it quits and they were streaming winner’s semis or winner’s grand finals. i said bye to junior and john and then drove home

- stopped by wawa to get a club sandwich for dinner LOL and get some gas for the car. then came home and watched an episode of scrubs S2E5 and also ate a dunkin donut. sheena came downstairs and talked to me a bit about a mini existential crisis she was realizing (everything that we do is built upon everything other people have built). she also told me about her blood test results and how they found that some hormones were being produced more that may lead to anxiety, depression and mood swings. so it seemed more like a biological thing that is treatable and i think she was in a really good mood knowing that fact

- went to sleep around 1:30 or 2am, feeling content with the day. i looked back on the bracket to see how i did and apparently placed 33rd out of 98 attendees. i’m definitely going back to the tournament next week. so cool :D 

the end

[jaosh-logbook]

LOGBOOK ENTRY#1 PALAWAN

7-5-18

5:35AM — We are on our bus to Clark International Airport and we almost left Gina behind because she was late. I mean what’s good Gina? There’s nothing new here hahaha! Things are getting pretty exciting, minus what happened with those three taxis with Ryan. We also got a discount from the Genesis Bus for being PAL customers! It’s surely is an adventure for us. This is the first time I saw the sun rise while I am inside a bus, this is amazing. Pale skies turned into blue eyes and the sun brought back the colors.

8:30AM — Early birds! We took over a bench and made it our own beds at the airport. We’re still waiting for Ferds because he’s got our hotdogs.

9:55AM — My heart is pounding like crazy at this moment. Besides my ID problem, Clark International Airport just had their last call for team Gina and I still have the nerve to type this down! I’m really nervous and anxious as fuck because we might miss our Palawan trip. Worse, I might not even join them because of my ticket problem.

10:03AM — We literally bolted through the security gates like crazy heads running for our lives! The marshals are pressuring us even more and we were throwing our things through the scanner. It was so funny what the fuck hahahaha! Once done, we ran to our vehicle to our plane. We looked like casts from the Amazing Race Philippines and did the walk of shame for being late to our seats.

10:20AM — Finally on our plane and the adrenaline rush was still pulsing through my body. I got more anxious as the plane got faster, this was the first time for me being concious to ride a plane. Lucky enough to be seated beside my best friend, whose left arm was crushed by yours truly. Sorry Dust haha!

10:40AM — At 44,000 feet, my long life dream to be with the clouds finally came true and I got the whole zoo on my stomach!

11:20AM — We were picked up by a driver who seems to be part of the Need for Speed cast for his driving skills. Busuanga, Palawan already looks fine as hell with these views and the cold weather! Nothing will top Palawan’s greetings with its rainfall. Manila rain can choke. Everything’s going North so far!

12:30PM — Finally arrived at Ryan’s home and the vibe is nothing but warm and welcoming. Food is great. Like reaaaaaally fucking great. View is amazing and the people are so nice. His mom prepared a house for us to stay in. Yes dude, a fucking house. We all took our naps and recharged our energy for another adventure!

10:16PM — Ryan’s mom cooked us the best first dinner at Palawan! All fish and veggies. Lerma is already shaking. We also did some short grocery at the bayan where we met some locals, aunties and friends of Ryan. It’s a small town and people know each other. They are so nice, they always tell us to enjoy our stay in Busuanga. We spent the night drinking mixed alcohol from a blender and playing cards. Okay well they played cards, I don’t know how to play. Someone also cried and poured his/her heart out but I will never tell who it is. It was the best way end our first night, I think this trip will be nothing but memorable and definitely one for the books. The logbook lmao.

7-6-18

8:07AM — We are on a boat to Calauit Safari to meet some MOTHER FUCKING GIRAFFES. My heart is too excited, I’ve always wanted a pet giraffe since I was little but my mom said giraffes are not domestic animals. Yeah, sure mom. My first island boat experience was a cleansing experience. I don’t know why I used the term cleansing. It’s not like I dipped my face in the water or anything, It just felt like the wind is washing something from my past.

8:50AM — I’VE PET AND FED THE GIRAFFES. My heart was so overwhelmed I was smiling from ear to ear. Two giraffes ate at my hand on the same time. Their tongues are kinda rough, long and it has the color of an aged eggplant. Another life-long dream came true, I love Palawan already!

10:21AM — We left Calauit Safari and we are now on our way to a beach to have our lunch. At the safari, we also saw some zebras, monkeys, snakes, turtles, crocodiles and even a porcupine. Our tour guide gave us a porcupine spike as a remembrance for our trip. I kept it behind my phone for luck lol

12:53PM — We had our lunch at a restaurant by the beach called Palatpat. Our food was made by Ryan’s family friend, we ate and dipped our feet at the beach. The view is amazing. It was so funny because from a distance you can see a storm approaching and we did not mind it at first. After a few minutes we took lots of pictures before a heavy storm locked us in our cottages. We were cold and stranded so we just watched our videos from the safari. And also, we discovered that Gina called the giraffes kangaroos hahahaha!

7-7-18

10:29AM — This view of the ocean is really breathtaking. It was drizzling a little bit and the raging waves said hello as we arrived on the dock. We were supposed to go to the famous Black Island, but sadly the current is too strong. I honestly thought it was passable, but tita said our boat might flip and I honestly don’t mind that lmao

11:40AM — We went to the Concepcion Falls instead where I ate a lot of crabs and did not get sick. I fucking love it here. Palawan got me eating crabs! We also met Merissa, who’s a 22-year-old backpacker from California doing her research. She joined us in our stay at the falls.

1:15PM — We took a refreshing swim. The water was cold but it was definitely rewarding. I felt as if the falls was cleansing me from something I was hoping to be free from. But I honestly don’t know what it is but I feel great. Oh and my friends are simply the best, they make this trip extra ordinary.

10:53PM — Sleeping beside your best friend is all fun until he becomes this big scared dweeb. Dustin was so afraid of our ghost stories he squeezes himself beside me and grabs my blanket. He’s not really brave when it comes to this stuff haha! So of course we made fun of him and took advantage. A weakness has been revealed!

7-8-18

5:30AM — Shit! Shit! Shit it’s 5:30AM and I’m already running from Ryan’s house to the church here in Busuanga. I cannot be late for church so I ran like I’m running for the marathon of my life! It was so far and I had no choice but to bolt.

7:37AM — Ferds and Ryan waited outside the church for me. I was surprised to see them there. We went to buy pandesal for breakfast, went to a basketball court and back to the dock. At the dock I saw a sleeping dog under the sun that reminded me of how my Bella loves to do that back home.

12:43PM — We are on a speed boat to an island for lunch, it’s a place called Alfaro. Seriously, I’m still shocked at the fact that you need to go to an island just for lunch hahahaha! Man I hope I live here. Alfaro is at the top of this small mountain and it has a pool that completes the relaxing-island vibe. I ordered squid for lunch of course and it was delicious as eff.

2:46PM — We then took a dip in the pool and enjoyed the every moment Alfaro has to offer. The view at the top takes you to a new level of comfort and peace. I looked far away and I saw a nice place that looked like a private mansion on an island. We all stared at it and dreamed to have our own island one day hahaha! Wish we can go there but I doubt it. They played a game in the pool where the three boys cheated hahaha! We then washed ourselves together in a bathroom and I’ve exchanged sandos with Dustin on our way home.

11:30PM — We drank alcohol again and this time I wanted to get sleepy drunk so that I could feel well rested by the morning. Is that weird? Anyways, we drank and played a corny version of never have I ever and Ferds was so funny with his shit. I then realized that I woke up today at 5:30 in the morning and was so tired from our activities. I then decided to sleep early and ditch my friends who are still chatting.

7-9-18

8:10AM — I woke up with a little hang over (lol at my plan to be well rested) so I decided to do some exercise and stretch out a little bit outside our home.

9:10AM — Today we are about to go hiking to the viewdeck of Busuanga and I’m sure as scared and excited for this activity. Another first for me!

10:16AM — After climbing, stepping on slippery rocks, holding on trees and a couple of mosquito bites, we finally reached the top before the rainfall. The view was covered by the rain and a thick fog, 0% visibility at its finest! We were drenched and frozen from the rain so we huddled in one corner at the viewdeck and waited for the storm to calm.

10:36AM — The rain stopped and the fog cleared, the view of Busuanga was uncovered right in-front of our eyes. It was so fulfilling to climb and witness this view! We took lots of pictures and videos. It was pure and genuine joy for me. I absorbed every moment at the top, just self-reflecting what I have done for the past years and pondering what I wanted to be free from. I whispered, “Come what may.” before leaving the place.

11:20AM — We are now going down from the viewdeck and I think it is much more difficult to go down than to go up. The way was slippery because of the rain and it became more steep. Dustin and Ryan both fell on their asses as we go down and I managed to go down with zero falls. A King, I know. Do we stan? Yes we do. lol hahahaha jk.

1:50PM — After preparing and having our lunch at Ryan’s house, we went to our home and took a shower. We also took our power nap before doing our laundry and preparing for our fishing activity.

2:22PM — So this is what it feels like to take naps with your best friends during the afternoon. I felt like a kid who took a mandatory nap with his best friends, getting energized for another adventure. Dustin can sure get extra sleepy and baby-ish at the same time tho, I’ll give you that. Ryan went missing.

6:05PM — We were peacefuly doing our laundry while waiting for Ryan’s arrival at his house. We planned to go fishing after our hike earlier, but it’s getting late and Ryan cannot be reached. Out of suprise, tita arrived with a van waiting outside. Suddenly everyone was in a rush, it turns out we were going to Busuanga Bay Lounge and Ryan did not inform us! WHO’S SHOOK? BITCH WE ALL ARE. WHERE’S RYAN? WHERE ARE WE GOING? WHAT ARE WE BRINGING? THIS IS NOT IN THE PLAN, WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GO FISHING HAHAHAHA

6:30PM — After panicking, running and preparing around the house, it started to rain and we are now on the van tracking Ryan’s whereabouts in the town. Finally the signal returned and we were able to contact him. We found him in a kubo with two of his friends eating lomi. It turns out Ryan was not informed too and the signal was to blame for no messages can come through. I forgot to mention that there was literally no signal in the island, you are lucky if you encounter a place with a good reception.

7:11PM — Busuanga Bay Lounge - okay so this place is hella expensive. Like waaaaay expensive. I was not prepared for this restaurant by the dock or in other words, I AM SHOOK. We’ve seen this place from the Alfaro view the other day, this was the mansion we were admiring from a far! It’s funny how we were just wishing to go here the other day and now we are actually here. Breathing! Me and my friends were exchanging looks and laughing because of the menu and its price range. We were laughing because we are not used to fine dining, for Pete’s sake we eat at Hepa Lane you guys. That’s our thing, our brand lmao

8:01PM — I had this deep talk with Dustin out of nowhere after dinner. We talked about our separate plans after college, our time together and some more stuff we don’t usually talk about. I like it when I have deep conversations with people, specially this douchebag, because it’s rare. I was not able to say some of the things that I want tho, but I hope he knows how much he means to me as brother, all of them. Food was amazing by the way. It was worth the price if you were wondering

7-10-18

1:35PM — We made fishing rods out of plastic bottles, nylon strings and hooks for our activity this afternoon. We are finally fishing! We went to the dock and I picked up a rod on the way. They said someone owns it so I was worried I will be in trouble for taking it, but I took it anyway to the dock with me. Pasaway.

2:16PM — We were on the same dock where we were supposed to depart for Black Island. I recognized the place because of the mini tower at the sea near the dock. The only thing different this time is that the sea level is low and I think the tower on the sea can be reached.

2:31PM — Dustin caught a fish! He got so excited after his first catch. A master of the sea? Does this have something to do about Dust being from Navotas? The Fishing Captial of the Philippines. I don’t know hahaha but he caught a real fish alright! He even got the gang more excited and energized! I did not hold back, I wanted to catch one too!

3:00PM — It started to rain really hard and the rain drops were hitting our skin like pebbles. The wind and the waves grew strong but our energy grew stronger, we did not leave the dock. We continued fishing and I have felt so alive in that moment. It was surreal! Fishing during the storm by the dock made me feel no fear, I was unstoppable.

3:15PM — I have no photos of this moment but we went to the mini tower I was talking about and went back to fishing again. It was still raining hard and the dock was slippery because of the moss, it was an exciting adventure for everyone! We’ve felt so happy we don’t mind getting injured lmao!

3:45PM — After the rain, we went back to the higher ground of the dock and walked back home. I returned the rod I have borrowed earlier to the same place. Dustin was carrying his catch and the others were all tired and happy from our fishing adventure.

5:00PM — We cleaned and piled ourselves on the couch and watched Master Chef at Ryan’s house. Tita arrived from work with these delicious pizzas and pastas from her friend. I was skeptic at first on the taste but Palawan keeps on delivering surprises! The pizzas and the pastas were amazing! The flavors are on point. Others should take notes! We rewarded ourselves for fishing today by eating a lot. Like a lot!

7:30PM — We were still full from our merienda but we have no choice but to eat dinner because tita cooked crabs! I fucking love it here. Happiness never ends, and when I say happiness I mean food! We then realized that it was our last dinner together in Busuanga for our trip at Ryan’s house and it was kinda sad to think about. We ate our feelings that night, we were introduced to the famous Coconut Cake. Let me just get real with everyone here. You have to eat this cake before you die. It’s so good I’m not even exaggerating anything here! I wish I could take this cake home and give my family a slice. They’re missing this back at home!

8:40PM — Still full but it did not end there. Tita and Ferds opened these freshly picked coconuts and we drank and ate it all. It was delicious, it made Gina and Dustin go number 2 hahahaha! Tita is just the sweetest and most genuine, she wants us to rest early for our early trip to Coron tomorrow. That’s when it hit us that it was our last night in Busuanga with tita.

7-11-18

7:05AM — Tita rented a van for us to ride to Coron. I was seated beside Dustin and I immediately fell asleep because we were up so early. We left Busuanga with my eyes open at 25%.

7:30AM — We arrived at our new place and we prepared for our tour. We were not yet allowed to check in so I changed my outfit at the lobby. After changing my shorts, I saw the cctv camera pointing exactly at me and I screamed and we all laughed hahahaha! That was so stupid but I have no regrets hahaha! To Jasmine’s Place of Coron, please don’t leak me online. No one wants to see me that looool

7:55AM — We chose to have breakfast in a mini carinderia where they serve surprisingly delicious and tasty breakfast. For P85.00 I got one longanisa, one egg, one hotdog with rice and a cup of coffee. That was my first breakfast in Coron.

9:05AM — We arrived at the dock where we boarded a boat for our island hopping tour. Our tour guides are locals who are very good at their job and are very kind. When the captain asked for a volunteer for a picture, I immediately raised my hand and took the chance. He was good at taking pictures, even better than some of my friends hahaha!

9:43AM — Our first destination was the Green Lagoon. It was definitely a beautiful moment. The rock formation is really unbelievable and this view just takes you out of the zone. We took lots of pictures on the boat and we dipped in the lagoon and experienced the refreshing salt water. We got that vitamin sea game now haha!

10:19AM — We are off to our next destination and Dustin placed his leg above mine like he always does. He does this when he is too comfortable with the people he is with. I’m gonna miss this little things about this goof.

11:07AM — We arrived at the famous CYC Beach and we were told to be careful as there are sighting of sea urchins and jelly fish. When I got off the boat, I jumped to the water and swam the fuck away in fear of steppin on a sea urchin. Ain’t nobody got time to go to a hospital today, that’s not happening haha!

11:19AM — We were playing with the sand and I said, “Guys gusto ko na malibing.” My friends were like, “Same.” hahahaha! They all dug a whole beach grave for me. How supportive.

11:22AM — While they were busy digging, me and Ryan saw some beach dogs nearby and we immediatley petted them. I never imagined that one day I’ll be at a beach with some dogs.

11:30AM — My friends are assholes! They left me burried as our captain called everyone back to the boat haha! I had to rise up from the dead alone and run on water naruto style to the boat.

11:55AM — Our captain and his team cooked a lot of dishes for us. They cooked fish, liempo, some sea weeds, steamed veggies, oysters, salted eggs with tomatoes and more! Surprisingly, everything taste so gooood! Like restaurant-quality good!! And the most impressing part is that they cooked everything in our boat while sailing. THIS IS THE LIFE, MAN!

12:20PM — I think I’m pregnant after eating a lot for lunch. Patay-gutom jael was satisfied, guys. We are sailing to Kayangan Lake and they said it’s far away from where we are so we’re sailing for some amount of time. The weather turned cloudy and the vibe is just peaceful and surreal. I closed my eyes and listened to the waves splashing our boat before falling asleep.

1:03PM — I know I have been talking about all of the sights and sceneries here in Palawan, but the one above Kayangan Lake is THE VIEW OF THE TRIP. It made me realize that I have been living and doing a lot of firsts again in the past few days. I know that the past 4 years of my life has been a roller coaster, this trip is like a big pat in my back saying “hey, you do you. you did great and you deserve the world.”

1:40PM — We had the entire lake for ourselves. The water is so clear and fresh it is as if the Pokémon, Celebi, lives here. We have to wear our life vests all the time because the lake was very deep. We swam further and floated, just staring at the sky and thinking. I know I sound like someone from a book, but don’t you crave for that experience? just floating, flowing and allowing everything as you pause from the world. It felt like that.

2:05PM — The lake was covered with fog as it started to rain. Kayangan Lake started to look like a place from the Jurrasic World, I was really hoping for a big monster to come out of that big stone formation in front of us and roar really loud. I think I’m imagining too much but I have always been this way and I think a lot of people should too.

2:55PM — We are now on the middle of the sea again. We were looking through the corals below us and I can see from a far that a heavy rain was headed towards us. Everything was slowly fading as it goes inside the fog and the rain. I was outside our boat when it reached us and that rain felt gooooood for some reason. I went inside and we sailed through the cold rain back to the dock.

3:45PM — We thank our captain and his team for doing such a great job. I wish I could do what they are doing someday. Meeting and exploring with new people everyday is something I’ve always wanted to do. At the dock, we bought refrigirator magnets as pasalubongs. And yeah we cheap like that.

4:05PM — So me and my friends decided to go to this famous hot spring in Coron to cleanse us from the sea water right after we landed at the dock. We went back to our hotel to get some money and we did not even change our clothes, we were too excited.

4:24PM —

[santiagostyle]

I didnt even notice u reblogged it too 1-116 payback tiiiiiiime

oh boy here we go

1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now?

tbh bc i just remembered i have to read a play for uni by tomorrow and i’m confused about why i never do my homework

2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone?

lol no

3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care?

like,,,, only if it was having adverse effects on either of us but if it was a once in a while thing i don’t think i’d have an issue with it 

4: Do you find it easy to trust others?

??? yes and no like it depends on the person

5: What were you doing at 11PM last night?

probably reading fanfic tbh

6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?

my best friends from uni lets be real they’re the only people with whom i would be drunk and lost in the same night

7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?

that would require an s/o but i would dump them

8: Are you close with your dad?

eehhhhhh depends on the day

9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right?

lol good joke

10: What are you listening to?

Mowgli’s Road by Marina and the Diamonds

11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it?

i mean look logically? water

12: Do you like hickeys?

..... sometimes

13: What time do you go to bed?

usually between 11 and 11:30pm

14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down?

there are several people who continuously let me down

15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both?

nope

16: Do you always answer your texts?

i try my best to

17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for?

nah

18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?

in person like 6 hours ago, online like 20 mins ago

19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?

yeeees

20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

“oh shit i haven’t done the reading... oh well”

21: Is anyone else in the room with you?

my mum is in the room like adjacent to me i guess that kinda counts bc they’re sorta connected

22: Do you believe what goes around comes around?

mmmmm i like to think i believe it but i’ve found that it’s not always true

23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now?

definitely not

24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with?

mm yeah

25: In the past week, have you cried?

yes

26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing?

grey

27: Do people ever call you by your last name?

only my best friend from uni on some rare occasions 

28: Is anyone ignoring you right now?

i mean,,,, i wouldn’t really know would i 

29: Do you have a best friend?

i have several

30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?

nah i’m over him now

31: Who was your last call/text message from?

lmao my dad i sent him a list of groceries

32: Are you mad at anyone?

i mean,,, yes kinda like not for something specific it’s just a general annoyance directed at a few people

33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

yes

34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?

21

35: How many more days until your birthday?

266

36: Do you have any summer plans yet?

boi i barely have plans for friday night

37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex?

i sure do

38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now?

mmmm i’m low key salty with one of my best friends but not gonna tell her

39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone?

nah at least 1 person knows all my secrets

40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?

lmao yes

41: Do you think age matters in relationships?

only if it’s ?? illegal or an abuse of power

42: Are you available?

i mean??? i think so yes????

43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended?

i had ‘feelings’ for someone but idk if u would call them real or strong,,, and i guess i kinda like someone rn if that counts

44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get?

probs my belly button

45: Do you believe exes can be friends?

mmm depends on the situation

46: Do you regret anything?

nah i try not to

47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?

the fact that i haven’t done the reading for uni tomorrow

48: Did you ever lose a best friend?

yep

49: Was your last kiss a mistake?

nah

50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like?

i mean,,,, i’m going on a date on friday does that ?? count ??

51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?

not cry but i was close one time like way way waaaaay before we kissed

52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed?

not unless i see him in person

53: What was the last thing you ate?

pasta!!!!!

54: Did you get any compliments today?

well my modernism lecturer told me i had some great ideas about virginia woolf 

55: Where are you going on your next vacation?

this is an excellent question and i do not have an answer

56: Do you own anything from other countries?

yessss, all the stuff i bought in the US, and my best friend just got back from Serbia so i have stuff from there too but I also have presents from China, Spain, Mexico etc etc idk my extended family travels a lot

57: Are most of your friend guys or girls?

girls

58: Where have you lived most of your life?

Sydney, Australia

59: When was the last time you took a long drive?

Like,, yesterday I was in the car for almost 5 hours

60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?

lmao yes at year 10 camp with half of my grade

61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house?

nope

62: Who do you text the most?

i generally use like Facebook messenger more often than text but either way the answer is my best friend from uni

63: What was the last movie you saw?

Metropolis 

64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?

I do not have an s/o

65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011?

LMAO ACTUALLY THAT’S THE ONLY YEAR I’VE EVER “DATED” ANYONE SO ONE (1)

66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you?

nah

67: Do you curse around your parents?

never ever around my dad, sometimes around my mum depending on the situation

68: Are you happy with where you live?

mmm yeah pretty much

69: Picture of yourself?

that’s so,,, much effort and nobody is gonna read these so

70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?

yay monogamy 

71: Have you ever been dumped?

yes

72: What do you most like about making out?

this feels inappropriate to answer on a public forum but god idk ???? it’s just all around nice

73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?

hahahah yes oops

74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?

always the other person boi i’m nervous af

75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?

??? their face i guess

76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?

one of my best pals from uni

77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?

.... not applicable 

78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?

also not applicable 

79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?

god okay um cute boys cute girls and cute dogs

80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?

I mean,,, given that I’m pretty young probably not but I wouldn’t hold it against them if that makes sense. Like I wouldn’t NOT get involved with someone just bc they had a kid

81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?

haha god yes it was,,,, unpleasant

82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?

??? i haven’t had a crush in a long time but I used to always tell my two best friends from high school

83: Do you miss your last sweetie?

nope

84: Last time you slow danced with someone?

???? never

85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?

hahah no

86: How can I win your heart?

be a) jake peralta or b) amy santiago

87: What is your astrological sign?

gemini

88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

fam i was sleeping

89: Do you cook?

I can make tacos that’s about it

90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?

well like i kinda had to bc we went to school together but we defs had a period of Not Speaking and then became friends again later kinda

91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?

mmmm kinda sorta

92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?

i prefer monogamy but i don’t really have experience with either

93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?

idk i don’t really have A Type in terms of physical features i just like boys who make me laugh ugh

94: Name four things that you wish you had!

1. a guaranteed job in the arts industry 2. the capacity to ensure world peace 3. less anxiety 4. like,,,, money bro i’m broke rn

95: Are you a player?

no

96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?

like if kissing my friends counts then yes

97: Are you a tease?

i don’t think so????

98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?

not yet but i have met someone i met on twitter

99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?

no

100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?

i mean??? idk ????

101: Hugs or Kisses?

both idc this question sucks

102: Are you too shy to ask someone out?

god YES but i think,,, i kind of accidentally may have done it anyway

103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?

their face??

104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?

YES just depends on the context bc i’ve had a lot of people use it passive aggressively 

105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?

nope

106: Do you flirt a lot?

i think unintentionally yes

107: Your last kiss?

???? what about it ???? it was like almost 2 years ago so like does it even count 

108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012?

boi i haven’t kissed more than 5 people period

109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month?

no

110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be?

tbh? amy santiago

111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next?

i mean i have a pretty,,, good idea 

112: Does someone like you currently?

god i hope so or else this date is gonna be awkward

113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone?

see above

114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?

look i don’t have experience with either but i think probably relationships 

115: Ever made out with just a friend?

umm ??? i mean maybe like we were friends at the time but i was kinda Into Him idk i don’t have an answer for u

116: Are you happier single or in a relationship?

look tbh i’m,, kinda happy either way as long as i have my friends