#too many shitty toxic people

[foofygoldfish]

hi this is idk me being vulnerable or whatever

but uh if anyone ever wants to chat or like… discord or whatever? I’d like that?

[thecruellestmonth]

"Jason isn't the only one to die and return from the dead. He's not special, so he shouldn't be treated as special. He's not the first, and he's not the last."

"How could Bruce ever anticipate that Jason would return from the dead? Bruce coped how he needed to. The dead aren't supposed to judge how the living treat their memory."

🗣️📣 You can't pick both.

[demolitionistic]

How to "take really good care" of someone 101, courtesy of Ming

Step 1: Dump him on the floor in his own home

Step 2: Passive-aggressively slutshame him

Step 3: Insult and undermine him when he almost calls out your behaviour

Step 4: Guilt him into apologizing. To you.

Step 5: Leave him hurt and insecure and confused

Step 6: Success (????)

[ambreiiigns]

btw rick and morty makes me insane bc no one Gets it people who don't wanna watch it (like me! before my brother made me watch it in exchange of him watching sk8 the infinity w me!) are like ugh problematique bad #edgy dark humor adult cartoon for reddit bros 🙄 but then the reddit bros who watch it & became the main representatives for its audience are like haha pickle rick wooo you need high iq I Relate To Rick Sanchez Deeply and he's like the joker to them and he's a king and an icon of alpha males somehow???? but like. neither of those people understand that rick and morty is actually about Nobody Exists On Purpose. Nobody Belongs Anywhere. Everybody's Gonna Die. Come Watch TV?

[the-rollerchloster]

Just feeling a little salty so I want to throw a thought out into the universe...

Has anyone ever considered that when you make your entire online personality about being anti something - by filling your blog with anti tags, or actively searching out posts/blogs to publicly berate - that you just look like a sore loser?

[theorderofthetriad]

personally, i think creators have the right to ask for money for their work, and they're not obligated to give their work to you for free, even if they originally did.

and i think if a platform doesn't work for a creator, they shouldn't have to stay there, especially a platform as famously shitty for creators as youtube.

yeah, not everyone can afford to spare six dollars a month, but also no one is going to die because they can't watch watcher anymore. anyone who wants to watch them that bad w/o the cash to spare will inevitably find ways to access it for free anyways.

so all in all, i'm shocked and disappointed by the response i've seen to the watcher announcement. I thought this was the "don't devalue artists! their work is worth something! you should pay creators for their work!" website, but as soon as it's a popular youtuber not only is their work suddenly not worth paying for, but they're worthy of mockery and vitriol for daring to ask?

like this was literally SUCH a non issue it's sad to see people so up in arms about it AND being completely in the wrong while doing it.

[dykeofmisfortune]

FUCKING HATE IT WHEN SOMEONE I DON'T TALK TO MUCH ANYMORE LIKES THE THING I INTRODUCED THEM TO LIKE FUCK YOUUUUUUUUU STOP SAYING HOW MUCH YOU LIKE IT WHY DIDN'T YOU TALK TO ME ABOUT IT. THERE SHOULD BE A PRENUP FOR MEDIA BC NAHH FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUU

[zeramorphosis]

People will see you trying to get an achievement and delight in denying it and being toxic to you in endgame chat. Over and over and over again.

[wilwheaton]

In a long essay about the televised incident, Wheaton makes a lot of salient, emotionally vulnerable points about his reaction to David’s stunt, tying it in to memories of parental abuse he suffered as a kid—pointing out, among other things, that, within the agreed-upon fiction that we all adhere to pretty fervently around all things Muppet or Muppet-related, Elmo is a child. Writing, Wheaton notes that “Elmo is an avatar for children all over the world. Children who are too small to understand Elmo is a puppet will know that a man attacked someone they love for no reason, and that will frighten and confuse them.”

Wil Wheaton condemns Larry David for his Elmo-based violence

This story is a week old, and has blown up today. The right wing smoothbrains are out in force, doing their usual thing, until they get distracted by the existence of a successful woman somewhere in the world and have to go rage against that.

I don’t know why this is happening today. I don’t know why right wing clout chasing incels have decided to make this their Thing today. It’s all very confusing, especially a week after the fact.

But I want to put something here that I added to my post on Facebook, that those dudes (it’s always dudes whose entire personality is “MONSTER ENERGY DRINKS!”) need to hear but won’t understand:

A lot of us who had the same visceral reaction to a grown man putting his hands on a child (Elmo is 4 years old) in anger, without consent, and then laughing about it all share an experience that you should be grateful you don't share with us. And when you say your shitty little toxic and cruel thing, when you reduce the whole thing to a puppet and a joke, you're doing to us what the adults around us did when we were kids. And it hurts all over again. Are you really someone who wants to hurt another person simply because you can? Maybe take the impulse to be a jerk and redirect it into being grateful you have no idea why this is so upsetting to so many of us.

Larry David put his hands on another performer, without consent, in a segment he was not part of. That, alone, is not okay. It is not EVER okay. The fact that so many people don’t get that, or are deliberately choosing NOT to get that, is telling.

But as I said, Elmo is a child, and he is a friend to children, so all the kids whose parents were watching the Today Show with them, because Elmo was on to talk about sharing big feelings and caring for your mental health, got to watch this man storm into a set, and angrily attack Elmo.

That’s indefensible behavior, and calling me names doesn’t change that.

[casekt]

I'm spending too much time on twitch and talking to twitch people it's fucking with the way I talk

[jmstoesblog]

Toxic

Pairing: bf!Jungkook x gf!reader

Summary: You’re fed up with your boyfriend—Jungkook— and want to break up with him.

released: 03.04.24

Warnings: toxic relationship, Jungkook’s an ass, unprotected sex, making out, swearing, dirty talk (?), degradation, reader passes out, not proofread!!

Wc:

Note: it didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to. I might change the ending since i don’t like it.

——————————————————————————

People are dancing, smoking, drinking, talking and having fun…. while you’re sitting at a booth alone.

You roll your eyes at your boyfriend— Jungkook— entertaining some blond girl. He’s shamelessly flirting with her in your presence. You both came here together wanting to let off some steam as it had been a bad day for both of you. Work was really tiring and you just wanted to relax but your boyfriend suggested to go to a club to get your mind off of work. It was a shitty day for him too.

“I’ll get us a drink, yeah? I’ll be back in a minute.”

You snort, shaking your head at his words.

Now look where he is, letting some random girl— that’s not even his type, you might add— touch him. Every time he says something she laughs and either touches his biceps, thighs or shoulder.

People, friends, your parents, they all have been telling you to not get with him. He’s bad. Honestly they were right, he screams fuckboy. From his personality to his slutty body. His broad shoulders, his chest that is getting bigger every day, he might have more man boobies than you. His biceps, his toned abs and tummy down to his thick, muscular thighs.

Not to forget his tatts and piercings. He has an eyebrow piercing, two lip rings and like six earrings on each ear. He always wears jewelry. Chains, bracelets, rings…

His style is very simple. He wears oversized, comfy black clothes. He wears chunky black boots amd lastly rides a Harley.

He has taken you on dates with his motorcycle a lot of times. You’d grips his waist for dear life every time he’d speed up ( which he does intentionally, so you’d hug him tighter)

You have no doubt that he loves you, it’s just the way he acts or the things he says…..

You two have been on and off, mainly because of him and his foul mouth.

You remember him calling you a bitch in an argument a while ago. The first red flag of many.

He hurt you with his words a lot.

“You’re a good for nothing little whore!”

“Y/n! Stop being such a bitch!”

“Is that all you can do!? Crying is the only thing you can do?”

“Shut the fuck up! Your voice is so annoying!”

You know he loves you but his actions hurt you.

His love for you is toxic.

——————————

“Where are you going?”

“Why do you care? Go back to that girl. I bet she’s missing you already.”

“Baby, don’t leave. We were having so much fun!”

You halt on your steps and turn around, facing him, “No Jungkook. You were having fun.”

“You were entertaining her while I, your girlfriend, was waiting for you at that fucking booth! So tell me Jungkook, how were we having fun!? Huh?”

“Don’t be like that, y/n.” He tries grabbing your hand but you quickly pull away, “It was harmless flirting.” He states with a blank face.

Your jaw drops to the ground. You’re about to say something but decide not to.

“Don’t leave, baby! Where are you going!?” Jungkook yells after you as you walk away, “I’m done with you Jungkook! Leave me alone!” You yell at him, not stopping walking.

You pick up your pace after hearing his footsteps behind you. You start running and he eventually catches you, throwing you over his shoulder like you weigh nothing.

He makes sure to pull your dress down and rest his hand there. So nobody can even get a glance.

“What the hell!? Put me dow—“

He abruptly slammed you against a wall, you groan in pain, “shut the fuck up! Just shut up!” He lowly whispers. You’re completely still after that. You do not want to provoke him. You know how he is when he is angry.

He’s already very mad. He glares at you for a few seconds, “you’re just making it harder for yourself.” He says, his hand traveling from your waist to your throat, the other one, firmly wrapped around your waist.

“So just keep quiet,” he tilts his head, “yeah?”

His hand squeezes your throat when you don’t immediately answer, he squints his eyes at you, daring you to not answer. You nod, breathing heavily. He pokes his tongue in his inner cheek and briefly looks away and back at you, “use your fuckin’ words! Or are you unable to form a simple sentence!?” His grip tightens.

You claw at his hands, trying to pry his hand off you, “s- sto-op I c…ant breath…” he gives you another squeeze and finally takes his hand off you. He grabs your wrist and drags you with him, towards his car.

You try catching your breath again as your panting hard.

He did it again.

He chocked you again.

A few months ago, during an argument, he chocked you, for the first time. You gave him the silent treatment until he dropped down on his knees and begged you for forgiveness while crying.

Your poor heart cant see him crying, so you forgave him instead of leaving him.

But he’s not always been like this.

You love him too much to leave him.

————

You flinch when he slams the car door shut, he angrily walks over to your side and opens the door, “out.” Once you get out, he slams it shut and drags you to the door.

Oh no, no, no…

Even if you love him, it’s not good for the both of you, so you want to end it here. You should have ended the relationship a long time ago.

You grab his arm with your free hand, “stop Jungkook!”

You regret everything, as he only stands there, back facing you, not uttering a word.

What feels like an entirety comes to an end as he slowly turns around and raises his pierced brow.

“Please stop….” You meekly beg.

Jungkook just stares at you, he sighs annoyed after a few seconds, “Get. in. the. house.” He puts pressure on every word.

He leaves you standing there as he gets inside, “okay y/n, you can do this. Just tell him the truth without peeing yourself.”

“Let’s end this, forever…..”

You mumble and walk into the house.

As you step foot into the house, you notice it’s quiet, very quiet. You gulp, your heart racing with fear. What will he say? What will he do? Will he accept you wanting to break up with him?

Where will you go?

You live with him in his apartment. Only after a few months of dating he asked you to move in with him. Who were you to deny him? You were so madly in love with him, not noticing the red flags.

It’s not like you don’t have money. You work, but do not get paid as much as Jungkook does. But you do have some money stashed away. You cannot buy a house or an apartment with it, but stay at a hotel meanwhile. Or at your friends.

You could stay at your parents, but you don’t want to worry them, knowing how much they love Jungkook.

“What the hell y/n?” Jungkook breaks you out of your thoughts, “what was that stunt you pulled back there?”

Fighting with Jungkook was…… something.

It either led to angry sex, ignoring each other or breaking up.

It was mostly him who apologized after arguments. He’d give you nice flowers and take you out.

And you’d blindly forgive him. Every. Time.

You were— are— madly in love with him.

You furrow your brows in anger, “What? The fuck, Jeon? Are you even listening to yourself? I’m your girlfriend yet you were flirting with someone else in my presence!”

“Are you ever going to grow out of your fuckboy phase!? The fact that I lasted so long with you surprises me! You flirt— you entertain other woman while you have a girlfriend! Do you know how it makes me feel?”

You keep yelling at him, “It wouldn’t surprise me if you have already cheated on me!”

(Don’t worry y’all, he hasn’t.)

Jungkook licks his lips and bites them right after. It’s been several minutes and you’ve been yelling at him.

It’s turning him on. You yelling at him like that. After just a few minutes he got a boner. The way your brows furrow, you calling him every insult there is.

It makes him fucking hard.

“Will you say something now!?” You yell at him after your rant. You noticed he’s been quiet and hasn’t said a word to you.

Which is not Jungkook at all. He always talks back. Always.

“You done?” He calmly asks in his deep voice, you catch a tint of amusement in his tone.

You scoff, “Have you even been listening to me!?”

He smiles.

A smile that is clearly mocking you.

The audacity he has! Well you’re about to wipe that smile away.

“I want to break up!”

It happens so fast.

He was suddenly pinning you to the wall with his hand around your throat, he wasn’t holding you tight. His other hand was in your hair.

“And why is that?” He chuckles darkly, “saw me with some female and now you want to break up?” He starts laughing.

“Yes,” you hiss once he stops laughing, “you’re disrespectful, demanding and a freak.”

“Oh? I’m the problem now?” He comes closer, “you’re the one that’s insecure.” He has a lazy grin on his face.

He is not taking this seriously. Is this a joke to him?

“God, Jungkook! You’re not even taking this seriously! You’re so—“

He kisses you.

Jungkook kisses the life out of you. And you don’t resist, you kiss him back with the same force. Jungkook’s hand travels from your hair to your waist, squeezing it a few times during the make out. His other hand remains on your throat.

You wrap your legs around his waist and he rests his hand on your ass while still making out. Kissing sounds are the only thing hear throughout the whole house.

He takes you to the couch and lays you down, your legs still circling his waist, but now hanging loosely around ‘em.

“You think I’d cheat on you?” He mumbles while kissing up your leg, “I’d never.” He presses a chaste kisses to your clothes center.

“No, I didn’t mean that— mhm.” He yanks your panties and throws them somewhere on the floor. He dives right in between your legs and your lips part before letting out a gasp.

You grip the couch so hard your knuckles start to turn white, Jungkook takes notice of that and places your hands in his hair.

Jungkook runs his tongue up and down your slit, you pull on his hair and he lets out a grunt, “fuck you, Jungkook, seriously.” You manage to say, his tongue is just so good, “yeah? I’m about to.” He answers and gives your pussy a smack.

“Ouch,” you wince in pain.

He smirks, “you know i love you, right?”

“Yeah, I know.” You roll your eyes, “I love you too.” You mumble, not looking at him.

You hear him let out a chuckle before toring apart the rest of the clothes, you gasp and hit his shoulder, “Jungkook!”

“What? You don’t need them now.” He answers so easily with a lazy smirk on his face.

You purse your lips and look away, Jungkook starts rubbing your pussy while leaving hickeys on your collarbone and neck. Your hands pull at his hair and he groans in your neck.

Jungkook has a hair pulling kink. He likes having his hair pulled during sex.

You start bucking against his hand and he bites your neck gently, “You’re so desperate, huh?” He says, amusement evident in his tone.

You unzip his pants and slide them down along with his boxers. His length springs free, slapping against his stomach. His dick is standing proudly with cum leaking out of his head, the head is slightly red.

You bite your lip upon seeing his big, veiny shaft, Jungkook smirks in response, his ego rising. He takes his dick in his hand and starts pumping himself, his eyes closed.

Jungkook moans in pure bliss. He opens his eyes and looks at you while jerking himself off, “come here.” He breathes out.

You move closer, laying completely under him. He pokes your pussy with his dick, “put it in now!” You’re getting impatient.

Jungkook raises his pierced brow, “shut up.” He growls and pushes himself in you, in one go. You both moan in pleasure, “you’re so tight. Didn’t know I didn’t fuck you for so long.” He is strechting you out so good.

You wrap your legs around his waist again, squeezing him a few times with your legs, but he doesn’t mind. Your arms are hanging loosely around his neck.

“Feels good, baby?” He asks, thrusting into you.

“Y..yes…”

He scoffs, “so good, huh? You can barely talk.” He laughs, “am I making you feel that good?” He pulls you up by your shoulders, “tell me how good I make you feel. Go on.”

You’re blinded by all the pleasure, “so g-good!” You gasp out, “yeah? You’re making me feel good too.” He doesn’t stop pounding into you.

You moan at his words, your praise kink being fed.

“You feel so good, baby. Your pussy is wrapping itself around my cock so good.” He moans, praising you more.

He leans down, pressing more kisses to your lips.

“Kook too much!” You cry.

“Too much?” He scoffs, “that’s what you get, you wanted to leave me.” He cups your face, “you can’t leave me. You’re mine.” He pecks your lips.

“My baby.” He nuzzles his face in the crook of your neck. He keeps thrusting into you, his pace getting faster by the seconds.

His thrusts get sloppy after sometime and he cums in you.

He looks at you, “Gotta make sure you never leave me.” He mumbles while cleaning himself up. After throwing the dirty tissues in the bin he wears his pants and cleans you up.

Well…. Since you couldn’t, because you’re passed out.

Jungkook admires you for a few minutes before cleaning you up. You’re naked laying on his couch with his cum leaking out of you.

“Love you.” He mumbles pressing a kiss to your forehead.

————

Do NOT copy or translate.

Thank you for reading 💕

Masterlist

[eggcats]

Radioapple fic, where after it's revealed that Pentious was redeemed, Heaven sends some angels (including some of Lucifer's own family) down to check out this Hazbin Hotel. (common fic theme)

And Lucifer is STRESSED. He hasn't seen any of his family in millennia, and they absolutely did not part on good terms. Especially because now he has to make as good of an impression as he can because he will NOT be the cause of Charlie's dreams failing.

Anyway, one of Lucifer’s estranged family arrives and they have absolutely NOTHING good to say about the hotel, it's people, or even hell itself. Insulting the decor, how it looks, being like "You got kicked out for free will and THIS is what they do with it? Ugh." and the like.

Lucifer is trying to keep himself together for Charlie's sake. (He's only had 3 breakdowns today, he's doing good!)

However, the last thing he expects is Alastor coming to his defense. Alastor looks at this shitty relative of Lucifer’s and is immediately like, "How DARE you? Antagonizing this angel is MY JOB, and I don't send him into hysterics, I send him into MUSICAL NUMBERS. Get out of my hotel immediately." But, obviously, he can't SAY that (for many reasons, the least of which is that Charlie needs them here for her redemption project).

So instead, he just picks at everything they say. "Hmmmmm, yes, but we at least chose to do this with this, free will you're insulting. What's your excuse for that eyesore youre wearing, hmmm?"

Alastor goes as far as to defend Lucifer’s choices in decor in the hotel, and Lucifer is completely confused because he and Alastor literally fought the day before about that SAME decor??

(The second the angel leaves Alastor turns to him and goes "They're right, you know, that is the ugliest interior design I've ever seen," and then DISAPPEARS before Lucifer can even respond. What the hell?!)

Alastor is not ignorant of toxic family dynamics, and while part of his initial issues with Lucifer stemmed from his belief in him being a deadbeat father, actually knowing him kind of changes his thoughts on this. It's a little telling that Charlie has been (apparently) attempting to contact her mother during her 7 year disappearance and has heard nothing, but the father who (she believed) thinks she's a failure shows up within an hour of her calling him ONCE. And then he does whatever he can to help her dreams, and the second she implies she wants him around more, he MOVES IN. It's kind of hard to continue thinking that LUCIFER is the toxic parent in the family dynamic, after all this.

(He still fights him, though, because it's fun to tell the most powerful being in hell his choice of interior design is ugly. If Alastor kind of doesn't go for the throat in all of Lucifer’s insecurities anymore, no one needs to acknowledge that.)

So, during the entire Heaven tour, Alastor is strongly in the "form a united front" boat. He can and WILL come out of the shadows for a sarcastic quip that simultaneously shuts them down AND makes Lucifer feel better.

(Alastor will NOT acknowledge the anger that goes through him at the idea of someone other than him picking at Lucifer, especially when they are CLEARLY trying to send him into a breakdown. How dare they. *cough* Anyway.)

So the whole ordeal winds up not as stressful as Lucifer was dreading, because somehow he has an antagonistic cannibal deer defending him the entire time. And Lucifer has no idea HOW that happened, but it does kind of make him feel better. (And Alastor's form of mocking him does, too, somehow.)

When they're alone, however, Alastor still picks at him so they can fight. (And Lucifer didn't notice until now how much FUN he has fighting with Alastor, and that Alastor insulting him makes him want to do better and prove him wrong, unlike his visiting family that makes him want to lock himself away for a decade.)

The tour ends, and Alastor and Lucifer go back to how they were before. (Sort of. Lucifer might be re-evaluating every interaction they've ever had and might send himself into a mild crisis.)

[r11k4]

mineFirework~

• caption; Bakugou Katsuki, the new most important hero in the world, had created everything, he owned everything, he could get everything he wanted, but if there was one thing missing in his life, it was definitely you... he couldn't stop thinking about you, but he couldn't tolerate the fact that you had separated from him because of a fucking argument, but he would have done anything to get you back into his life. ( BK pro hero x female stylist ) 18+

• warnings; characters are adults (age up) presence of sex (nothing too aggressive, in fact it's very passionate and very sloppy sex) [car sex, no protections, presence of alcoholic beverages, little toxic relationship] and vulgar language (obviously only because Bakugou is there, obviously) and especially English it’s not my first language… so I apologize for many grammatical errors.

every night when he came home from some mission, he felt a huge void in his chest, more precisely in his heart, but he would never admit it out loud that he missed you, he was definitely too proud for that.

but fuck, he would be a liar, when he came home he loved the way you welcomed him, how you hugged him or kissed him, your tiny body against his, shit, even your delicious caramel scent, he missed any little thing about you, he wanted you back… so bad.

you couldn't imagine, how many times he masturbated trying to somehow calm down, but it was never enough, his touch was nothing compared to yours… he wanted you to touch him… again.

many women, since you separated from Bakugou, many of them tried with him hoping to have a chance, but they weren't you, no one could take your place, because fuck, he may be proud, but he loved you madly, you were the his light, his glycerine... only you made him explode with love... you were everything he was looking for… just you.

he tried many times to call you, or simply to send you a message, but you never answered him, he was totally desperate and furious with himself… he had even asked the broccoli boy, Deku, for advice, what he proposed was to simply go straight to see you at home, but just the thought of doing it, Bakugou honestly, didn't have the balls to do it, and that pissed him off badly... he had a fucking fear that you had rejected him...

When one day, while he was drinking whiskey on the sofa in front of his window, showing the whole city, looking at the view he thought of all the memories he had had with you, the caresses, the kisses, but also the sex, in front of this beautiful sight... he was going crazy because of you... at a certain point, he hear the sound of a message coming from Katsuki's phone, he hoped with all his heart it was you, but in reality it was shitty hair, Kirishima, who told him if he would come to the heroes' ball, a simple party to wish a new beginning to the new heroes and especially to the end of Shigaraki, one of the most powerful villains… at first Bakugou wanted to say no, that he didn't give a shit, when then he drastically changed his mind, surely you would have been present there too... he only had one chance to get you again…

• Bakugou's point of view

when I finally arrived at that party full of useless extras, I felt absolutely nothing, on the contrary, they all pissed me off, they all had such fake faces, if only I could I would have kicked everyone's ass.

but despite this, my aim became stronger and stronger, I always tried to look for you in the crowd, hoping to see you among all these nonentity extras, but of you, no trace, and I was so furious about this.

to distract myself I decide to go have a drink with shitty hair, Kirishima, hoping to clear my thoughts, when at a certain point, I hear the music starting, I see a lot of confusion, many people rubbing each other, I turn my gaze and finally there you are … in all your sweetness, you were there, in front of me… and you were the most beautiful of all in this fucking place.

kirishima gives me a light punch on the arm, indicating that I had to go and talk to you, for once, I comply with him and come towards you with caution, so that you don't run away from me…

“Katsuki…?”

“Hey baby…”

“Don’t call me that…”

“Please… I want to apologize, I know that I was a fucking idiot… I can’t stay away from you-“

“Katsuki, you hurt me”

“Baby…please”

in response, you moved away from me, running towards the front door, but I was stubborn, so I start to followed you, with the hope of talking to you again.

you were about to take a taxi, but you fail because I take your arm, then making you turn towards me and hug you tightly, so as to give you no chance of escape.

“Let me go! Right now!” while you punch my toned chest…

“no I won't leave you, until we make things right between us”

“How can I forgive you after everything you've done? you will never change!”

“This time I've changed... believe me, being away from you after all this time has made me think, please... let's try again damn it…”

you don't answer anything, I only hear so many sobs and tears from you, I hated seeing you like this, especially because of me and I was an idiot for how I treated you... but in my heart I know that I have changed, I would have done anything to prove it to you… to try to calm you down I bring you closer to me, closer to my chest and I hug you, making my big arms wrap around you, and finally I could smell your caramel scent again, but above all I loved the feeling of your body against the my… everything was perfect.

“shh… baby, i know that you are upset with me… but I promise… I’m different this time… trust me”

“I am afraid… I-I don’t know…”

“I know baby, but you don't have to be afraid, I will always protect you, this time will be different... give me a chance to prove it to you...”

hearing my words, you remain silent and slowly lean on my chest, almost uncertain, but you do it, and then you hug me, there was a great moment of peace between us when you say to break the silence;

“OK, this time… I forgive you”

“Can I kiss you baby? I miss you…”

you move away from me a little, look me in the eyes and nod your head, indicating that I could kiss you, I grin and take your face, as if you were a tiny porcelain doll, and kiss you, with so much delicacy, that I didn't even know I had it in my body... but after all, it was always you who made me like this, fragile and vulnerable for you.

“Do you want a ride home? I can accompany you... I don't want you to go around alone at night"

“awww katsu, I really missed this sweet side of you~”

“shut up you idiot! I swear I won't be sweet anymore if you continue to tease me!”

faced with my reaction, you started laughing and I couldn't help but smile, I was so happy to see you smiling so much just because of me, but above all I was happy because you were with me again, I couldn't ask for anything better.

after this, we set off in my car towards my house, precisely wanting you to stay with me for the night... and maybe even forever, but this had to be taken calmly, I had to have all your trust back otherwise mine plan would never have worked… while we were stopped in front of a traffic light, I feel you touch my hand, where mine was resting on the gear shift, I turn towards you to look at you and you were already observing me carefully, but I saw something else in your eyes... a sexual fire was growing, I could visibly see that you wanted me… and I wanted you too.

the traffic light turns green, I was about to move forward when I change direction, you look at me with a confused face but I smile at you, we stop towards the parking lot of a park, exactly the park where we met for the first time when we were still teenagers…

“Katsuki… this place…”

“Yeah baby, It's the place where we kissed for the first time…”

you smile sweetly, and then look at me again with a sincere smile, our faces slowly get closer, our eyes don't leave each other, and finally we kiss again, but this time it was different, it was more desperate, more needy and more passionate…

“Katsu…”

“Shh babygirl… it’s okay”

I continue to kiss you, while I look for the zipper of your dress which I pull down without problems, while you unbutton the shirt I was wearing…

after which I detach myself from you, and then tell you to sit on my lap, so as to be closer, before doing so, you completely take off the dress you were wearing and then place it on the seat, finally I could see you naked before my eyes, you were wearing beautiful lace underwear... it looked amazing on you.

“Katsuki stop looking at me like that…”

“looking at you how?”

“you look at me… like you wanted to eat me… as if I were a meal…”

“It's not my fault you're so sexy baby”

after you sit on my lap, I take your hips tightly, moving you closer to my package to let you feel my reaction, in front of this, a strangled moan escapes you and I instinctively pull your hair slightly, without wanting to hurt you…

“you missed this right?”

“yes Katsuki… I miss this, I miss you”

“Yeah, that is fucking right… only I can make you horny, only I have the pleasure of touching this pussy right?”

“yes! Just you Katsu…”

faced with your plea, I couldn't hold back any longer, in less than 5 seconds I had already ripped off your underwear and thrown it behind the back seats, you were a breathless sight for my eyes, I instinctively lick my lips, ready to enjoy my dessert, as if I were a small prey…

after which you unbutton the last button of my shirt, you slowly start to caress my chest, admiring my pectorals and muscles of my body, I spontaneously grin and close my eyes, enjoying your light sweet and sexual touches, when then your little hand goes down more and more, stopping at the zipper of my trousers, you lower it completely looking at me, in front of this I say smiling mockingly;

“Tch… you little… stop teasing me woman, or something will happen…”

an unexpected moan comes out of me, your hand slipped inside my boxers, you started moving my erection with small but fast movements, when you wanted, you knew how to be a real little slut, and this side of you, always loved madly.

I, on the other hand, decide to behave in the same way as you, I slide my hand towards your little pussy, already very needy and wet, starting to touch you without any mercy, I make circular movements on your swollen clitoris, instinctively you respond, making a sigh of relief of excitement.

“Katsu… please, more”

“thc, how impatient and rude you are, you are so needy… tell me… while we were separated did you fuck anyone else?” I say this, looking at you carefully, with a fierce look.

“N-no! Never! no one can make me feel good! only you!”

“Tch, just what I thought, you belong to me baby… and you know it too well right?”

“P-please! Yes! I'm only yours!”

“come on baby, beg for me to fill you with my cock… I know you can do it for me… show me how good you are…”

“P-please I begging you! make me feel me good!”

“you're so pathetic...but so sexy at the same time...how can I say no?”

not waiting for anything else, I open your legs and bring you closer to me, more precisely to your little pussy on my cock, I slowly position you, calmly entering you, starting with gentle thrusts… every thrust becomes faster and more forced, I could visibly notice that you could no longer maintain control, so I take your hips pounding your pussy, you hug me, surrounding my neck and sometimes kissing my face.

“P-please…”

“what's wrong baby? are you going to cum for me? come on sweet girl, do it…”

your sweet walls, they squeeze my cock, almost forcing me to never leave, to stay there forever, but after all, it was like this, and it would always be like this, you and I were connected, despite everything we had been through, it was impossible detach ourselves, because love is stronger more than anything... right?

[theoldsports]

Moody.

Coriolanus Snow x Reader | 3.3k words

depression, arguing, manipulation/toxic marriage, fucking each other over, possessiveness. it’s tamer than some of my others in an objective sense, but emphasizes dark thoughts and internal monologue.

requests always open! thanks for your kindnesses. i think this one is more experimental than the others. the objective here was to show how both of them mimic regular human feelings because they know they should, but it’s a poor pantomime. two sickos with nothing else but each other <3 i think i am going to call these works the Truculent series.

Coriolanus grew cold fast and did not tolerate heat well. He only slept only in his underclothes and wore heavy layers at the first sight of winter. His alarmingly fair complexion meant excessive sun wasn’t in the cards. In spite of his name, his scrappy build wasn’t meant to cut through harsh January terrain either. His nails chipped at labor, and his mind grew uneasy at laziness.

The world was tough on Coriolanus and he was tough right back on the word.

There was little Coriolanus was designed to do. Many people were strong, or smart, or wealthy, or drop-dead-gorgeous, or violent, or talented. There was something about every person Coriolanus could think of that made them stand out. He could easily categorized people by them. Here was the group of people known for their beautiful voices; here, those who could benchpress four-hundred pounds… Coriolanus could not be quantified like that.

Coriolanus Snow had to take what was left, like a runt. He was only good at two things: enduring and controlling. Since those were the only options leftover for him, Coriolanus became the best at them both. When, like Coriolanus, one has been gifted such shitty talents and nothing else, they have to figure out how to use them well enough to win against everyone with a better gift. Eventually, he realized his talents were not the ability to endure and the ability to control, but actually the ability to win. Eventually, he won so much, Coriolanus forgot there was ever a time when he lost (most days).

(The days he didn’t forget were the Bad Days).

Coriolanus felt like he couldn’t get out of bed on the Bad Days when the crushing weight of his failures and his ego landed across his chest. He told himself he was done with love after Lucy Gray. Disgusting Lucy Gray, a name he never wanted to even think again. He thought he would marry someone he hated and be done with love.

But junkies and addicts quit every Monday anyway.

Once he found [Y/N] again after their childhood together, there was no quitting. He knew it was bad for him, so he married what was bad for him to make sure he had an endless supply. How he hated that familiar feeling of obsession, the feeling of being so desperate that he had to rely on something other than himself. Somehow, he would have to sustain the feeling without losing his girl like an idiot. Marriage was likely the thing to steel their attempt at a bond.

Upon waking up to the alarm that morning, Coriolanus knew this was one of those Bad Days. Maybe it was the weather, the stress of Games. First year as head Gamemaker had almost driven Coriolanus mad under the pressure to succeed. He reached over to turn off the clock that buzzed painfully at six in the morning every day ending with a Y.

“Coryo…” [Y/N] mumbled, hearing him stir beside her. The sound must have woken her. She tossed an arm over his chest.

“‘Mornin’, Darling,” Coriolanus replied, wishing he were dead.

[Y/N] immediately picked up on the flatness of his tone, but she knew better than to push him too far. “All good?” She asked.

Coriolanus grumbled passively. He rarely did anything passively. Coriolanus grabbed the hand over his chest and dragged it up to the side of his face to rest it there, but only after he had kissed [Y/N] palm.

��You’re affectionate this morning.”

“I just missed you. I’ve been busy.” He said dismissively, pressing his face further into her hand.

“Well, thanks, dear, but don’t you have work?” [Y/N] asked. She propped her chin up on his shoulder to stare at him inquisitively. This attitude was odd. First thing in the morning during Games seasons, she got a kiss on the forehead and then Coriolanus was gone for a run and a shower and out til nightfall, barring special occasions.

“Don’t you?”

“Not til early evening today. Normally, you’re up and out of here first thing on a Tuesday morning,” [Y/N] told him, as she rubbed from his cheek to the side of his throat gently. She dragged her hand up his face to rest on his worried forehead. “You sick, or something?”

“No.” Coriolanus replied weakly. He closed his eyes again. He couldn’t face the legendary blunder he had made at work. Coriolanus had allowed his aides to code the program for the arena wrong. The open water was nowhere near as deep as was needed for the aquatic muttations. It was causing all sorts of trouble. The Games would end too fast if he didn’t do something, yet the stress of thinking of reaching across the nightstand for his Communicuff was paralyzing.

“You sure? You don’t feel feverish,” She confirmed. [Y/N] sat up to press her lips to his forehead just in case her cold hands had misread his temperature. “I can call the doctor, though.”

“[Y/N], stop. I’m fine.” Coriolanus lied harshly. He tried to sit up, but his psychological anguish made him feel like vomiting.

“Call in. Stay here.” She suggested, watching his weak movement to sit up.

“I’m head Gamemaker, I don’t get to call in. I need to go for a run’n I’ll be fine.”

[Y/N] raised an eyebrow. “So you aren’t currently fine? Because you said—“

“I know what the fuck I said, okay?” Coriolanus barked. “Wanna recap anything else, or can I go?”

Sharply, [Y/N] scooted away from him to the other side of the bed. His moods were hardly predictable. She sighed. “Fine,” She said, averting her eyes to her hands like a scolded girl. “I was merely concerned that you—“

Coriolanus scoffed at her and shakily stood up from the bed. He quickly stepped into the closet and stepped joggers and a wifebeater. [Y/N] hoped he would grab a jacket as well; the weather was much too cold for mid summer. The Capitol itself got disproportionately cold often. She didn’t say anything out loud, though. “Get off my ass. Can’t you sit there and be grateful for once? With all that I do for you?Fucking hell.” Coriolanus said. He did not so much as look back at her as he stormed out of the bedroom.

[Y/N] could not understand what she had done wrong. The only things she had were provided through Coriolanus or simply the man himself. Once Coriolanus was presumed out of earshot, [Y/N] dropped her head into her hands and cried. Not tears of frustration or anger, but tears of self-pity that her one lifeline had yelled at her like that.

—

By the time Coriolanus returned from his run, it appeared his wife had gone out for the day. Strange since she usually capitalized on the extra sleep if she was not working downtown with Capitol News until evening shift. Since their reckless young adulthood of media stunts, Coriolanus had watched [Y/N] grow a stifling love for spectacle. With his support and their shared deranged name recognition, she had quickly risen from an editor, to a correspondent (brief. He had helped her but her way up and out of that position) to Associate Head of Programming for Capitol News. It helped to have his wife steer both their media narratives from the inside.

Except for when she was mad at him.

Coriolanus wiped the sweat off his brow in the shower as he thought. There was no doubt in his mind that [Y/N] was going to run some sort of primetime bulletin that made him look a fool during his Games coverage that night. It was bad enough that Lucky Flickerman was beginning to look like botox had gotten better of him, in addition to Coriolanus’ own fuck up with the muttations. Fact of the matter was that viewership was down and [Y/N] was going to make it worse. She was going to make his Bad Day worse and he knew it.

He could feel his heart rate racing as he stood under the shower’s cold stream. His equally cold blue eyes glanced across the bathroom at the clock. Six-fifty AM. Realistically, he need to be into the Gameroom by no later than eight-thirty, but it frustrated him to be in later than eight. In roughly an hour, how could he perform the maximum amount of damage control? Coriolanus’ head began to ache at the thought.

She had never run that harsh of a piece on him before, but it was a Bad Day, and no doubt she was angry with him for his attitude. [Y/N] was capable of a great many horrible things. Wouldn’t Coriolanus himself want to sting somebody back who he had known was pissy with him?

When he exited the shower, Coriolanus rushed to dress himself. [Y/N] said she wasn’t working until late. But where, then, had she gone? With all the thinking about his own feelings, he hadn’t considered that conundrum.

—

Coriolanus called her secretary, a boring woman with a name neither man nor wife could recall. According to that woman, [Y/N] had not gone early to work. He rang Tigris. Tigris said [Y/N] had not been over unless she was lying which Coriolanus wouldn’t put past her. The Plinths swear they had not encountered her.

Coriolanus stared down at his datapad of phone numbers. He refrained from calling all of their friends because he didn’t want to to exude the panic he was starting to feel for letting his wife run away. None of her belongings seemed out of place. Her suitcase was present in the back of their closet. Still, Coriolanus was terrified in the back of his mind that his wife had finally left him. A year and half was a dreadful lifespan for a marriage in his opinion. [Y/N] was not getting away that easily.

However, his watch told him it was eight and the Games weren’t going to run themselves.

Throughout the day, Coriolanus could not get his heart rate to settle. It made him feel ill. So ill, in fact, that he couldn’t keep down most of breakfast, or all of lunch. He skipped dinner all together. Who was [Y/N] to up and leave him like that?

The slight rational segment of his brain told him to walk it back, but the rest of his brain paid no mind. Coriolanus had nothing going for him other than gut instincts and his gut instincts now were implying something was fundamentally wrong.

Coriolanus’ decision-making was way off of its game at work. Coriolanus, for ratings, could not allow the Hunger Games to end on a Tuesday night. Somehow, he would have to create obstacles to last the four remaining tributes til Friday. He didn’t much like those odds. He was going to cave and hand in his resignation before the end of the day, he was certain.

Though, at eight in the evening, the primetime announcement or chiron that Coriolanus was a shitty husband or a murderer never cut through his broadcast to make his Day irreparably Bad. Nor did it at eight-thirty, or even nine. Coriolanus felt shaky. Maybe with relief for his reputation, maybe because he had nothing in his system.

If nothing had aired at Coriolanus’ expense on TV, had something happened to [Y/N] while he was on his run, or later? Was this some rebel attempt to bring the head Gamemaker to his knees? An attempt from a bitter rival to play games with him? Coriolanus frowned. Many things could have happened to his wife between six in the morning and nine at night. Coriolanus could barely stand up as it was. He clocked out and summoned his driver as quick as he could.

The second Coriolanus’ key entered the lock, he started shouting with the energy he had left. The door had yet to even close behind him. “[Y/N]! [Y/N], my love! Are you here?” Coriolanus pushed open every cabinet and closet on his way to the bedroom. Empty. He checked the closet - her suitcase remained. Coriolanus had called her office on his way home. She had not shown up for work. Unheard of.

Coriolanus ran through every room of the townhouse shouting [Y/N]’s name over and over until he felt hoarse. He could only imagine what the neighbors thought. Then he saw the attic door open.

The door remained open, but the stairs to the attic had snapped back up halfway and gotten jammed. “Coryo!” He heard [Y/N] yell faintly from upstairs.

“Darling, are you… in the attic?” Coriolanus shouted back cautiously under the open door. He watched as [Y/N]’s tearstained face peered around the edges of the attic door. It was really her. Not a Jabberjay, not a setup. Coriolanus exhaled for what felt like the first time all day. “Let me come up. I’ll come to you. Hold on!” Coriolanus’ finally left behind the Bad Day as he leapt into action. Protecting his wife was his job before Gamemaker, or any other obligation. Anyone in the Capitol would remember their vows, or her smashing cake into his face much to his dismay. Marriage was socially his most binding contract of all. Coriolanus did not take contractional obligations lightly.

Coriolanus had not realized that his wife was so delicate and helpless as to get stuck in the attic. She needed him more than he thought. His heart swelled with pride. Coriolanus grabbed a broomstick and hooked the hinge in the stairs. He yanked with all his strength until the ladder descended. Quickly, he dropped a large sack of rice from the kitchen counter over the bottom step in hopes it would weight the stairs down and he took off up them.

“[Y/N], are you alright?” Coriolanus asked, popping his head through the attic door

There on the unfinished attic floor sat [Y/N], bundled up in her thin teddy she had been wearing when Coriolanus left. She had only that and a too-short blanket Tigris had crocheted as a child. There was very little in the attic at all. Some of the Grandma’am’s belongings in clear glass bins and whatever surviving relics had carried on from their post-war childhoods.

It was clear [Y/N] had been crying. “I thought you would come back.” She sniffled.

Coriolanus urgently climbed the rest of the way up the ladder and sat carefully down beside [Y/N], wrapping her in his long arms possessively. “I thought something happened to you,” Also, that you tried to leave me. “You’re freezing… How long have you been up here?”

“Since you went on your run.”

“Shit… All that time?”

[Y/N] thought her tears had long since stopped, but seeing Coriolanus appear upset about ignoring her all day made her want his attention more. She wanted him to feel bad.

The tears started flowing the second his arms were looped around her waist. [Y/N] rested her head on Coriolanus’s shoulder heavily. “Coryo, you just left. I come up here all the time to think and I didn’t think it would—“

The blonde man’s heart softened at the sight of her. “Darling, Darling, shh, don’t cry,” Coriolanus combed his hand through sobbing [Y/N]’s hair. “You’re okay. I’m here now.”

Coriolanus felt like he was able to play the role of comforter and protector nobly tonight in a way he had recently felt inadequate at. With ease, he draped her legs across his lap and adjusted her arms around his neck so that her body was completely supported by his. She clung to him like a desperate child. The skin-to-skin contact was most appreciated by Coriolanus after the Day he’d had. Coriolanus excitedly drew a breathe from her neck, taking in her scent.

[Y/N] sobbed dramatically into Coriolanus’ dress shirt, but he pretended not to care like a good husband. “I’m sorry. I c-couldn’t—couldn’t get down. I th-thought you would come get me. I shout-ted for you,” she played up her tears. [Y/N] played up everything for attention; they both knew that. But the situation was mutually beneficial for people that liked attention so damn much. “You didn’t hear me.” You never hear me.

“Oh, Princess…” Coriolanus rubbed his hands up and down her arms, hoping it would warm her up. He pulled away from her regrettably and stripped off his blazer. He wrapped it around her shoulders and pulled it carefully in front of her. He knew [Y/N] would like the gesture. Now, Coriolanus did not say I’m sorry. It was not his fault that [Y/N] had fled to the attic. He did instead try to make good from now forward. “I was so worried, I started to think something happened to you. I wanted to give you space, but then I didn’t hear from you all day. I’m relieved to know the only monster that got you was the attic,” Coriolanus leaned into her neck to kiss her in his favorite place. “You sat up here in all this junk and dust today; how are you still so stunning?”

[Y/N] laughed through a wet sniffle as Coriolanus searingly kissed her neck. “I didn’t know I’d worried you this much.” She muttered.

“I didn’t know I’d upset you this much,” Coriolanus agreed. That was as close to I’m sorry as she was going to get. “What did you do up here all day?”

“W-Went through some boxes. Found your old uniform.” [Y/N] smiled back.

“My Peacekeeper uniform?” Coriolanus asked in surprise. He hoped that she had not found anything else, if there was anything more scathing up in the attic.

“Mhm,” she affirmed. [Y/N] stood shakily from the floor, snot dripping from her nose. Snot, which she knew better than to wipe on the sleeve of his blazer. She followed where the beams were in the floor nimbly so she didn’t put her foot through the ceiling below her. [Y/N] collected a decently sized metal crate with a handle on it. PRIVATE SNOW, CORIOLANUS B. was stamped on top of the dusty, dented metal. She carried it back to Coriolanus and sat down with it in front of him.

“I didn’t go through everything in here, that felt intrusive, but I did pull this out,” they both knew that was a lie and that she had absolutely gone through every item, but Coriolanus let her keep going without cutting in. [Y/N] decided she would still let him explain the history behind every item he wanted to share anyway.

When she shook the long gray-blue jacket out of the box, something happened that hadn’t happened last time she took the jacket out. “Coriolanus, what’s this?” [Y/N] asked, plucking a bulky chain off the floor that had tumbled from the coat’s breast pocket.

“Ah, I’d forgotten where those went. Dog tags from my time in Twelve.” Coriolanus said.

“I still have my father’s. You were like a real soldier then, huh?”

“Peacekeeper.” Coriolanus corrected.

“Yes, Peacekeeper.” [Y/N] agreed quietly.

[Y/N] held the two identical pendants in her hands.

SNOW, CORIOLANUS

CITADEL, CAPITOL

4147769218S 12

O NEG

CREMATE

His entire identity all on two pieces of nickel. While she squinted at the embossed metal, Coriolanus leaned forward across the box that had once held his entire world and grabbed the chain she was holding as well as her hands. [Y/N]’s red weepy eyes met his crystal clear blue ones. “Would you like them?”

“You don’t want to keep them?”

“Certainly not. My name right there on your chest? That’s preferable to them sitting in a dusty box forever. People will know who you belong to if you wander off like this again. ‘Know you’re not, hm, like… up for finders-keepers.” Coriolanus shifted them out of [Y/N]’s hands and dropped the chain around her neck as if it were the finest gold necklace he had ever purchased her.

Coriolanus put that box up in the attic because he had not wanted to think about it ever again. Above all, though, Coriolanus Snow was an opportunistic man and he put those dog tags on [Y/N] just like he had Lucy Gray because he knew this move was flattering. If it worked once, it would work again. Sickeningly, he pulled out the same words he had used before too: “There. All mine.”

“All yours.” [Y/N] replied.

TAGLIST:

@badwicht @stelleduarte @cinnamongirl127 @prettyppetty @soulessien @bejeweledreverie @jjstyles @arminsarlerts @chmpgneprblem @co1dmountains @miscellaneousmoonchild @lille999 @pumkinnxsmut @taykorsyogurt @ndycrls @watermelonharry @nananarwhal @ohantonia @catlover420sstuff @justaproudslytherpuff @notarabellasstuff @scarytiger111 @zucchinimalfoy @secretsicanthideanymore @h-l-vlovesvintage @dannydevsbbg @clintsupremacy @lookclosernow @10ava01 @or-was-it-just-a-dream @lucielsstuff @fairyydvst

as usual, apologies if your tag didn’t work. tumblr’s tough like that. also so sorry if i forgot anyone! remind me if i did!

[nemesyaaa]

do revenge // mean!rafe cameron x camdoll!reader

summary ; you were tired and sick of the hell life the well-known kook prince give you. so after being for so long his favorite victim, you decided to fight back.

warnings : dark content. insecurities. revenge plot. bully!rafe. poker face!rafe. sick behavior and toxic attitude. smut. oral(m. receiving). dollification. blackmailing. dubcon. shitty kooks behavior. bad thoughts. quickly mentions of some kinks. self-justice. pogue/kook hate/unfair dynamic. free hate. masked reader. threatening. power imbalance. baddie attitude. minors dni. please, be careful with the warnings.

author's note : the girl on the gifs is not a faceclaim, it's only to show what kinda mask she wear. it's the first time i think i do something like that so......and it's a one-shot, so it's maybe a little too long 💀

you worked as a waitress in a small restaurant. you hated this job but you had to make money and today the place was a little empty so you thought you could relax but that was before Rafe showed up with his gang of kooks. you had started shaking as soon as you saw them. you felt so small and trapped, your breath sped up. there was like a lack of air in your lungs because you knew how rafe was with you, how much he hated you but above all, how much he loved to humiliate you. it was his favorite pleasure: being cruel to you. and damn, he knew how to hurt you better than anyone. he must have broken so many things in you, your ego, your heart, your self-esteem, your confidence, your joy of living that you wondered how you were still standing in his presence.

with a tense smile, you approached them because you also couldn't escape the group. you hugged your notepad to your chest, pressing tightly the page against your breasts. you were about to open your mouth when rafe cut you off.

“i understand better why this restaurant is so empty…” he commented, looking you up and down. “ but what i don’t get is why you haven’t been fired yet when you’re scaring customers away.”

“apparently not everyone since you're here...." that was what you wanted to answer but you preferred to kill yourself rather than make a remark to rafe that was going to cost you your life. and you wouldn't want to give him this pleasure.

“have you chosen what you want? ” you said, addressing everyone, preferring to ignore the leader of the kooks group.

“it’s so cheap here. ” he had commented. “ very cheap. ” from his insistent look, you understood that he was including you in his criticism. he was very childish.

you nervously tighten your grip on your pen. of all rafe's friends, topper seemed the most sensitive to what you were going through but he always stayed quiet. this idiot finally ordered cocktails. the words had to be ripped out of his mouth.

when you came back with the drinks, you delicately placed them on the table. you were embarrassed by the way rafe stared at you like you had something on your face, like he was planning another nasty remark. and it didn't take long, because the next minute, he had managed to make you cry and made everyone laugh.

when you handed him his glass, he purposely knocked it to the ground.

“what are you waiting for, pogue? clean it. it's not like it's new to you, you're used to cleaning up other people's shit. "

burning tears started to come out of your eyes, you bit your trembling lip. your throat was tight, and you hated everything you were feeling right now. the shame, the humiliation, the fear, it destroyed you.

you brought something to clean before bending down. he hadn't apologized. he never did it anyway. you kept all this grudge inside of you, even if it killed you.

he picked up your rag with a smirk. “you don't need that when you can use your tongue. ”

you looked at him with wide eyes, as if you had heard wrong. topper had intervened before you did. “hey dude, no need to go that far.”

“shut up, topper. i really need to show you that all women are fucking dirty and disgusting sluts. so stop protecting them, and watch the show i put on for you. and for free. ”

"rafe...listen..." you said softly.

“you better listen to me if you don't want to be fired. you know how good i am at making your life hell.” you started to kneel down, bringing your face closer to the ground. “yes, you understand very easily, maybe you can show your ass to the camera too. record it, kelce. lick it well, sweetheart. don't want to see your ugly face on the screen. “

this day was the last straw. it was worse than anything. it was completely degrading and nasty.

and it was surely at that precise moment, that night to be exact, that everything had changed in you. that you had decided that this couldn't last, that you had to play into the enemy's game to defeat him, that sometimes you had to be unfair when he cheated, that when someone was bad, you had to be tougher and stronger.

it had been several years that you had endured criticism from rafe and kooks about your physique, your pogue condition, that your face was the center of mockery and the worst jokes, that it lasted to the point that you had surely become the funniest joke or meme in the island.

but you had grown up. you had prepared your revenge over several months. because you couldn't pretend it didn't affect you. but all the hatred you had felt for yourself had started to turn towards rafe, to give you a reason to live, a purpose because he had given you a furious and crazy idea.

he had humiliated you. and he was going to taste his own medicine.

deep down, you weren't just doing this for yourself but for all the pogue girls who had suffered harassment from kook boys, for all the girls who had received bad treatment because they didn't look like princesses, for all the girls who were made to believe that they deserved nothing because they did not meet the physical standards. you had to put an end to this nonsense.

so after five months, you had become what rafe loved the most. you had become a very popular online camdoll for kooks. you wore a mask that hid your facial identity enough to not be recognized. you had a completely different style. you were surely prettier, more magnificent in his eyes. because he had fallen into the trap. he had this slightly superficial side. you knew you had succeeded from the moment you felt the difference. not only did he want you, but he wanted to possess you.

he was one of your loyal viewers. he didn't have his first name as a username but you knew it was him. his messages had the same tone as when he spoke to you.

he was pathetic, because he paid to see your content, to talk to you, to hear you touch yourself, to do dirty things to you. no matter how much you charged.

he even sent you a video of him jerking off on one of your lives. you couldn't lie, you had watched the entire video. his fist was wrapped around his painfully cock, moving up and down, the leaking tip disappearing and appearing with the speed of his thrusts, the way his boner grew bigger the more he thought of you. he was going so fast that his bulge was literally slapping against his hand with a loud, obscene noise, his sagging balls moving in rhythm. his hair was messy, there was a quiver in his lips every time he made a grunt. “ fuck...fuck...fuc'...gonna fuck that dollface one day...gonna get this dick all in your dumb pussy. ” his length was very feverish and at the same time hard, shaken with spasms. the veins pumped by his strokes. he had come in such a short time, loads of cum exploding all over his sweating chest. he had wiped everything with a pack of tissues. and just when you thought the video had come, he started again.

you never responded. only downloaded the video and stored in a confidential folder.

but one day, he spoiled you a little too much. however, you weren't doing anything really crazy. you fulfilled clients' requests — which involved masturbating with a vibrator, playing with your breasts while riding a dildo, putting as many fingers as your viewers wanted in your pussy, letting them dress you however they wanted, letting them make you crazy stupid and vulnerable, doing little shows and hauls until you end up naked, playing with the food on your body, recording your orgasms, filming you when you slept naked or took a shower.

you had decided to thank rafe for his expensive gifts by asking him to come to your house. you had a studio that you had decorated, enough to make him believe that you lived well, and that you could be a kook. obviously, he had accepted and of course, he was hoping for sex when you told him you had a surprise for him.

it was, he was going to have sex. and you a revenge.

rafe had always assumed that he hated you, the shitty, ugly pogue, that he would never sleep with you. and to quote his own words “even for a million, i could never fuck such a disgusting thing. ” and it was always in public, in front of people. then you were going to do the exact same thing. you were going to fuck with him, and if he loved show that much, he was not going to be disappointed.

on the day, you had prepared yourself for the occasion. while you were getting ready, there were tons of flashbacks in your head, scenes, words that kept coming back. all this cruelty that could make you vomit.

“i really thought alcohol would help me find you attractive but no, you're still just as ugly. i thought it was a pogue thing baby but actually it's just you. ” it was rafe.

“ i felt like i had hit you in the face ten thousand times with my golf ball. ” it was still rafe.

“the difference between you and the other pogues? is that you angel, you will never be able to hide the fact that you are one. all the misery shows on your face. ” always rafe.

and it was each time heavier, more hardcore. he reminded you of your condition, but also of how much he couldn't see you. you were too horrible. you never told anyone about this treatment, about all this hatred. but you had now learned, from the best, how to make noise.

you wiped away your tears, and brought the mask to your face. “i can do it. ” you muttered to yourself as you began to get slightly anxious. you were afraid of breaking down in the middle of the act, of finally not being sure you wanted all of this. you felt mixed feelings. was it really good to do that, was it really right? but on the one hand, what had justice done for you until now? absolutely nothing. like everyone else, she had watched you get humiliated. so it was just common sense?

the door to your studio rang. you opened it. you couldn’t lie that rafe was really handsome and smell good. but the first thing you noticed was his smile.

he was completely different. you could see in his eyes for the first time, something positive towards you.

" welcome. ” you said with a smile, inviting him inside.

oh he resisted the urge to kiss you, his hands were in his pockets but they were nervous and unsteady. they wanted to be on you.

“do you want to drink something? ” you added the name of the cocktail he always had at your restaurant. you had done it on purpose but he hadn't noticed. he nodded.

“are you going to take off your mask one day? ”

“without it, i am no longer what i am. so it's better that i keep it. isn’t that all you want me to be? a doll. ”

“no, you’re right. then at least i know you're not a fucking pogue. ”

“it would be bad for your reputation too. i already see the headlines and the taunts "rafe cameron fucks a pogue" and people will laugh at you, and you hate it being humiliated. no one likes it. ”

“you look really nice, doll. i mean, kind.” he replied.

“i am but i believe that some people. ” you pressed the word, and gave him an honest look. “have abused a lot of this part of me. that's why i'm a doll, i don't have to feel anything, just do what people want me for. you can fulfill your every desire with me. do you want to see me in a certain dress? let me change. do you want to release your anger in me? let me help you. do you just want to fuck me? i am literally made for this. ”

“you are made for me. ” you smiled through the mask because in a way, he was right. he had created your character.

“do you mind if i film? i really want to record this. you are the first customer I have met. it's special for me. ”

" no. at least people will know to who you belong. ”

“that’s exactly it. ” you lied when starting the live. “let’s get started. ”

you had removed his pants and his boxers, placing yourself between his thick tighs, he was so much bigger than you that you looked like a small caged thing.

you placed your outrageously manicured hands on his open legs, your mouth sinking and wrapping around his hard cock. your tongue had started rolling around the girth, you could feel the small drop of precum going down your throat. this part that he was soon going to get fucked strongly and hard.

you wanted to drive him crazy, see him sweat like a pig because you were so good, because you did it all too well. he had wrapped your hair in a grip to make it easier to pull on it. “yes...suck that cock...just like that...let me ruin that mouth...fuck…”

your dripping lips were stretched by the size of his length, and the way it was getting completely hard inside of you. you could feel the drool running down the sides of your mouth. you felt every inch of his penis fucking your throat. and through your mask, you saw his smirks. he pulled your hair, and you took all of him, until your face came into contact with his pelvis, every bit of him was in you. you almost gagged.

he had barely pulled out of you before he entered you again. his cock worked against your tongue, brushing it harshly, the tip tapping the back of your throat. your cheeks were sunken, and your lips drowned between spittles and saliva. “you're perfect, doll...you really know how to suck...i could really take advantage of the situation if you keep this up...” at his words, you sucked him faster, pumping efficiently while his hand stroked your hair. his fingers moved along with your head.

he was completely using you, doing whatever he wanted with you. and you let him do it, because you wanted him to be proud of himself and to be seen on camera. he had pushed his cock onto your mask, decorating it with saliva, your own currently drooling. “so pretty. ” he had commented. he pushed his cock back into your mouth without warning, taking it ever deeper. you felt fizzy. your lips were open and used for several minutes non-stop, your throat puckered and pummeled. your jaw was starting to hurt, but you didn’t show it. you had to be perfect, packaged the way he wanted. your tongue flickered around him, teasing his girth.

“ need to be inside you...so bad...you make me feel so good. it's your face, doll. you're divine.”

maybe he had a mask kink to say that, to also be turned on by a fucking plastic object. or maybe it was the face he imagined behind it all? you didn't know.

he had thrown you on the bed, opened your legs in two and pushed your body against his hips, pulling you by the waist. his cock had twitching, purring some pre-cum, at the contact with your soaked cunt.

“ i could never sleep with a pogue. but especially with you, just thinking about it makes me vomit. “ it was perfect that you remembered that in the moment, as he thrust into you, his hips moving slowly.

your pussy clenched around his cock, barely letting him move without hurting you. “ fuck, you're so fucking tight, doll....need me to stretch this pretty little cunt. i'm gonna make you so dumb. “

you couldn’t hide that you still got wet, and damn, he knew how to fuck and you couldn’t be his first time. he had started pounding into you once your pussy had started to ease around him.

it was really intense, his body slamming violently against yours, the strike echoing through the room. your weak moans but which he heard very clearly, and which encouraged him to go even further within your walls. he pushed himself even more to hear you scream. he had a goal and he wanted to make you so stupid that in the end you wouldn't be able to do anything.

he buried himself inside you, his powerful thrusts stretching your pussy, your body twitching beneath him. he was on top of you, staring into your eyes. you were a little fascinated. his shoulders were broad and muscular, his arms heavy and toned, and his abs were perfect arranged into six packs. his hair fell on his forehead.

he couldn’t see the emotions on your face, nor clearly define what you were feeling. he only had your voice and the reactions of your body.

your pussy hugged him with each strokes, he filled you completely, making his way to your spot. your puffy slit was spread, capturing his bulge. you squeezed him harder, he startly getting down, the wet and dirty sounds of his hips rocking your body. you could see the vein on his neck, his contracted muscles covered in sweat.

he had placed his lips on yours, his mouth kissing yours. you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you, gently guiding the kiss with your tongue.

he continued to fuck you, while playing with his tongue in your mouth, kissing you without limits, until your lips and jaws were covered in drool. you waited for him to cum inside you. but he hadn't pulled out while you were flooded, loaded with his cum, and some orgasms you'd had. it dripped from your slit onto the sheets. he had placed the tip of his cock back in front of your entrance, picking up where his enjoyment had left you off.

this time it was a little gentler. it was like you had established a little intimacy even though you knew it wasn't true. after a few minutes, he stopped.

" are you always being that kind ?…”

“ you think i'm a mean person ? ”

“ you never hurt people ? never in your life ? ” you asked him, with a friendly tone.

“ what if ? ”

“ don't freak out. everyone has a mean side. now, you got me curious. can you tell me the worst thing you have done to someone ? ”

“ maybe it was to one of that trashy pogue…” it started, and you forced yourself to not react when you saw the smile on his face. even after years, it didn't regret anything. because obviously, he talked about you.

“ thank you for confessing this story to me. now, i have a gift for you…” you said with a fakely soft voice. “ it was not the sex part. i'm willing to let you see me without my mask. i really want you to see me because i trust you. ” was obviously a lie.

“are you sure? ” he was so surprised by your proposal. “ don't you want to tell me something worse you did to someone too ? ”

“ oh, it's part of the gift, rafe . ”

at this moment, he knew. he fucking knew.

he had removed your mask.

because of the shock, he took a step back.

his face was indescribable.

“oh no, you can't pretend to be disgusted, not after fucking me like you've wanted this your whole life. ” you smiled. “what did you say before? that you could throw up? liar. you came so hard in me. and, it is still dripping. come on, don't run away, give a closer look. maybe i should make you clean the mess you made with your tongue. like you did to me. maybe, this time you will vomit. but i'm not sure, you're such a pathetic hater. and i'm just not afraid of you anymore. ”

“what the fuck is wrong with you, pogue ?! did you have fun?”

“ pogue ? ” you mocked. “ was babydoll, sweetheart, a few minutes ago. now, it's pogue ? how it feels, rafe ? how does it feel to be humiliated ? i think, it's better for you to apologize for all these years. but not only for me, for every pogue. ”

a crazy laugh escaped his lips, as he came closer to you. “ really ? what make you feel that i will apologize ? especially to you. ”

“ because now, the game is over. it's a war and i'm gonna fight back. it means, i will drag you down. every secret, every weakness, every move that you want to hide from me will be from now my first concern. i'm glad that you hate me because it's only the beginning. ”

“ you really think that you have some power over me ? be serious. ”

“ it's not about power at all. it's about justice. ”

i also wanted to thanks @bunnyrafe @rafecameroninterlude and @bimbotrashcan who helped me a lot, and trusted me for this !! tysm, i'm very grateful <333

[01zfan]

bike peg | p. wb

wonbin x fem. reader | 11.6k words

wonbin gets cheated on and gets his lick back…listened to prom by sza and erase by omar apollo while writing this!

contains: cheating, descriptions of a toxic relationship

visiting home wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, and wonbin knew it wasn’t. the constant demand to be his best in the city was slowly wearing him down, and the pace of life was completely different from how he grew up. wonbin found it ironic that he found himself needing an escape from the place he moved to the moment he graduated high school to escape his hometown. something about looking for more out of life under the guise of pursuing his passion. 

wonbin found out quickly that he had bit off more than he could chew, blinded by the naive cockiness like most people his age. he was constantly on the go, needing to constantly be moving so he wouldn’t get left behind.

wonbin felt like he hadn’t stopped running since he left home. he hit the pavement running the moment he moved to the city. he ran straight into a shitty job that barely paid him enough to make ends meet, causing him to run into a lease with a girl he didn’t know. she was mysterious and elusive, completely unlike anyone wonbin had met before. unlike wonbin she was born and raised in the city, with her foot already in the door towards her career. wonbin’s fascination with the way his roommate carried herself transformed into pining, and pining somehow turned into dating.

wonbin’s relationship with minju was rocky before it even started. he knew it was a bad idea to date his roommate, the first person he built a rapport with in the city. wonbin knew that. what wonbin didn’t know was that too many circles in the city overlapped, and nobodies exes stayed as their exes. wonbin didn’t know the the man that was “like a brother” to minju was actually something much more than a close friend. they were so convincing, and wonbin was too caught up in running to see what was going on right under his nose—but maybe he chose to ignore it. all wonbin knew was that minju started coming home late smelling different and her friend started acting awkward around him. 

wonbin was spread too thin and stress blinded him. he had gotten to the point that his feet throbbed at the end of his days, he even dreamed about running even in his sleep. he never knew where he was running to, only that his speed caused him to bump into faceless throngs of people, saying quick apologies as he made his way through the crowd. 

wonbin also found himself apologizing more than he ever had in his life. he apologized for speaking and for walking, he apologized for looking at the sky and doing too well at work. wonbin apologized in his dreams and attached shy sorry’s to almost every sentence. wonbin sorry is what minju called him. at first it was an endearing nickname, or atleast wonbin pretended it was. apologies became an innate part of wonbin. there was so much to feel sorry for—his plants that didn’t get watered, the rotting food in his fridge, his mom who had a son that didn’t call. apologizing was such a habit that wonbin even apologized when he caught his girlfriend cheating on him.

wonbin saw everything before they noticed him standing there. he saw minju and her friend on the couch they bought together in their shared apartment completely enveloped in eachother. wonbin stood there for a moment, letting the scene take place in front of him. the way his girlfriend was on top, eyes closed in bliss as she rode her bestfriend. the way her friend’s hands roamed all over her body. they didn’t look up or stop moving until the paper bags full of groceries shifted in wonbin’s hands. when they finally noticed him, their eyes went wide realizing they’ve been caught redhanded. wonbin was the first to speak.

“sorry.” wonbin said when minju yelled.

wonbin’s mother from the phone wedged between his ear and shoulder was the second to speak.

“binnie, what’s wrong?” his mother’s voice cracked through the speakers.

minju and juyeon or hyunjae—wonbin couldn’t place a name to the face—were the third to speak. they were completely in sync, mumbling and reaching for clothes at the same time. wonbin could see them looking for their clothes, some of them strewn throughout the apartment. minju looked down at wonbin’s feet as she grabbed a blanket to cover herself. when wonbin’s eyes looked down he saw her top lying next to her feet.

“i’ll call you back, mom.” wonbin said.

wonbin hung up on his mom mid sentence, looking back up to his naked friend. no one spoke, not until the man started hastily putting back on his clothes looked to wonbin and minju.

“i should go.” he said quickly.

his jeans were left unzipped and his shirt was on backwards as he walked past wonbin with his head hung low. wonbin almost wanted to leave with him. he was one more stressful situation away from his brain collapsing in on itself like a supernova. so he cleared his mind, closed his eyes and started pulling out the things needed to make dinner. wonbin faced his back towards minju, the situation out of his sight and mind while she started putting her own clothes back on. he opened the cabinet to grab a cutting board for his vegetables.

“i’m going to visit my mom.” wonbin decided outloud.

wonbin would never admit that he was relieved when his mother asked him to come visit. her voice was distant over the phone, almost a whisper when she expressed her wish to see her son again. wonbin’s mother loved the dramatics, evident in the how she constantly talked about how empty the house felt like since he left. wonbin didn’t bring up the fact that his dad and older sister were still very much alive and living at home.

wonbin’s mother nearly blew out his speakers when he told her he booked a bus back home. her shrill screams were the only sound in the apartment. the sound caused minju to look over at wonbin’s phone. he ignored the look, and she only lingered for a second before going back to her book to reread the same page. the situation with minju was even worse now, and wonbin hated that it felt like it was his fault. he had never learned about the dangers of living with your cheating girlfriend, or else he would’ve declined her offer to co-sign a lease. 

minju gave her excuse for cheating being neglect. wonbin was too busy to spend time with her, and always too tired to touch her at night. her ex was at her disposal at all times, and knew what she needed emotionally and physically. wonbin could only nod his head, having nothing else to add after minju spent an hour defending herself. she raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms when she was done, waiting for wonbin to say his favorite word.

“sorry.” wonbin apologized.

wonbin saw his girlfriend let out a sigh of relief, as if he had taken all the blame for the situation. when wonbin watched minju roll her eyes he felt anger and unbridled emotion bubble up in his chest. he wanted to yell to, he had the right to be angry. but as soon as the anger was about to boil over it subsided as wonbin thought about all the other stressful things in his life.

when minju was done telling wonbin her side of the story she looked to him expectantly. he thought about comforting her, telling her she wasn’t wrong for cheating.

“what now?” he asked simply.

minju bristled when he asked that question. she snapped her book shut and cleared the room, leaving wonbin alone on the couch. she told wonbin that he was running from his problems, straight to a place he knew she wouldn’t follow him to. the salty sea breeze and lack of stores open twenty-four hours warded her off. wonbin wanted to tell her he didn’t choose where he grew up, but instead he only said sorry.

wonbin was even more confused when minju gave him a hug and a kiss before he left for the bus station. she seemed remorseful now, eyes worried when she said she wanted to try working things out. wonbin couldn’t bring himself to say no to minju, even though he knew it was what she deserved. for some reason, he was still hung up on her. he still made her food they still watched their television shows at night together, rewatching the episode that played on the television when she was caught. the only difference was that they slept on opposite ends of the bed with their backs facing eachother. 

maybe wonbin’s absence would fix things. maybe being apart from minju would dull the pain in his chest he ignored for her sake.

he thought about minju the whole ride back home. he slept most of the ride, only waking up occasionally when his mind told him his stop was close. at some point during the ride wonbin received a text from minju telling him to travel safe. the heart emoji that ended her sentence unfortunately made wonbin feel like something could be salvageable if he apologized enough. 

instead of replying, wonbin only shifted the duffle bag on his shoulder and followed the mass of people leaving the station. he was tired and sore from sitting in the same position for hours, something he hadn’t done in a long time. when he left the station he took a breath of fresh air when he exited the bus station, and closed his eyes to adjust to the sun. here it shined bright like the sun was closer and the air was clean from lack of pollutants. 

he had almost forgotten about the summers. he spent so long in the air conditioned apartments of the city he almost forgot the countryside, how the breeze from the sea made even the hottest days bearable.  back in the landlocked city, the sun reflected heat from the payment and beat down on everyone. there was no reprieve from the heat, wind not being able to get past the walls of buildings. 

wonbin. couldn’t stop himself from wishing minju would give his home a chance. she wouldn’t bake in the sun here, and the vibrant green that surrounded him would bring out his favorite parts of her complexion. she could dig her manicured hands into the soft brown soil and realize there was a whole world of color outside of the abysmal grey buildings that normally surrounded her. they could’ve experienced the best parts of his city together.

the worst part was that the main mode of transportation was by car. there was no trusty public transportation system that wonbin had grown to memorize like the back of his hand. wonbin forgot that being carless without a license outside of the city would force him to become crafty. wonbin started crossing busy intersections on foot and walked carelessly on paved paths that abruptly merged into the road.

wonbin stopped trying to venture out far due to the safety concerns brought up by his parents. summer brought back the crazy drivers, ones that didn’t care about pedestrians. wonbin found himself to be even worse than them, crossing intersections without having the right of way. he was forced to get crafty again when he saw his older sisters childhood bike sitting in the corner of the garage. 

the bike quickly became his main mode of transportation, and wonbin now only travelled locally. he reasoned that he was fighting back against the automotive industry that was determined to ruin the beautiful landscapes of his home. wonbin was singlehandedly offsetting the carbon emissions of vehicles by riding his sister’s shitty little bike. it was basically the same thing as a car. he was on the road, he had a turn signal that was his hand. he could even hit the throttle by standing up from the tiny seat to add more force behind his peddling feet. 

the pedals were too low on the bike and the seat was entirely too small. the chain always sounded like it was going to rust away and the chipping pink paint always found its way to his clothes or skin—but it worked. even if the bike felt like it would collapse under wonbin’s weight it always got him to his destination. riding it was at first embarrassing, but it turned into nostalgia. he remembers taking his sisters christmas gift for joyrides around his town. it was his first taste of rebellion, stealing something from his sister—that in wonbin’s defense she didn’t use—to have fun around his town. wonbin remembers removing the training wheels and the bike pegs to ride around on the streets long after the the streetlamps turned on. wonbin’s mother and sister were fuming each time he came back. he was covered in sweat and smelled like the earth, with his hair mussed from the wind that ran through it.

now was no different. each morning when his parents left to run errands wonbin rode the bike out the garage at the speed of light. each time his sister would yell after him, claiming that the rusting bike was still hers. he laughed and teased her as he rode it away just like when he was a kid, looking back to stick his tongue out at her. occasionally she would try throwing something and always miss, wonbin laughing at her failed attempt as he sped off. 

when wonbin hit the open road the wind gave him relief. it was additional relief from the heat, and from the situation back home. if he thought about minju for too long, quick flashes of jealously would cross his mind. the feeling was cold and bleak as wonbin thought about what minju was doing. he was almost driven to ask for her location, or at the very least call her. but he let the wind wick away his sweat and cool his mind. when he passed by the foliage of the town it all became a green vibrant blur, like it was shot on technicolor. life was lively just like when he were a kid and he tried to be carefree like a child too. wonbin kept smiling all the way to the gas station, his legs taking him there purely on instinct. his knees were ten years old again as he peddled down the street, passing by childhood friend houses that were occupied by different families now. 

wonbin didn’t slow down until he got to the parking lot. he came down from his standing position on the bike until he was sitting on the tiny seat. the seat eroded over the years, exposing hard parts of the foam. when wonbin sat down he could feel the texture of the ground beneath him. each pebble and bump in the street he couldn’t avoid. the texture of the paved road changed to the dirt parking lot, until he got to the textured concrete stoop of the store. wonbin came to a slow stop right beside the door, pulling out the flimsy kickstand that barely supported the weight of the bicycle. 

he got off and adjusted his shorts that rode up from his legs. almost instantly, the heat of the day caught on his skin, and the heavy air of the surrounding water made everything feel sticky. the heat was becoming thicker as the day went and wonbin couldn’t wear any less to try and fight it. the chipped paint particles of the bike stuck to his skin like freckles, glued to him from the sweat. but this is where wonbin was born and raised—it didn’t matter if he didn’t look his best. so he walked more relaxed than he ever did in the city, saying hi to the person that passed by him to get into their car. the stranger told wonbin that he had a nice ride with a smile on their face. he smiled back and offered to trade for the car, tilting his head as he put his hand on the door.

the small bell above the entrance rang when wonbin pulled the handle. it bounced off the walls but was so familiar no one looked up. if no one came in shooting a gun or demanding money, it was business as usual. everything about the gas station remained the same, especially the selection of food and the clientele. there were two maybe three people looking for a cool drink to help beat the heat or a snack to hold them over until their next meal. the only difference was that there was an ancient television propped in the corner next to the booth where the cashier was. this was different from the small television that stood above the alcohol, warning people that they were on camera. this television had a terrible case of burn-in, and was stuck playing reruns of some show no one watched anymore. everyone came to this gas station but it was never busy, evident by the worker behind the register that flipped through a magazine without a care in the world. 

wonbin didn’t think too much about what he was going to buy. it was a treat each time he came here, and each time wonbin found himself craving something different. 

he grabbed a small plastic basket, one that was in worse condition than his sisters bike. it was funny how worn down everything in his town was. he went through the small aisles of the gas station, so close to the drink fridges he had to press his body to one side each time someone passed by him. 

wonbin browsed for what seemed like hours, constantly taking out snacks and putting them back on the shelves and holding drinks side by side to decide which one is better. when wonbin put back a drink for the fifth time and let the fridge door close on it’s gasket he heard the worker behind the counter.

“you’re going to let all the cold air out.” she said with indifference. 

wonbin tried looking over the aisles of snacks to get a better look at whoever scolded him. he couldn’t make out anything about you, other than the uniform shirt that wasn’t buttoned all the way. he only got a glimpse of your collarbones moving and the bracelets that adorned the wrist that held your bored head upright through the magazine pages, and the rings on your fingers that rubbed your chin. wonbin only saw the smallest part of your face that wasn’t obstructed by the aisles in front of him. 

you still didn’t look up from your magazine, wonbin could hear flipping the pages over the music that came from the blown out speakers. he said nothing in response but took your scolding into account, only opening the fridge one more time to grab his final drink choice.

wonbin found the food you wanted quickly, grabbing a snack from the shelves he hadn’t seen in the city. wonbin grabbed more than he should’ve, almost cleaning out the entire supply.

wonbin navigated through the aisles again, smiling past the new faces that entered the store while he were browsing. he set the basket on the counter, pulling out his debit card to set on the counter.

when wonbin pulled out his card and looked up from the basket, he finally got a full look at the cashier who scolded him. wonbin saw you look up from your magazine in slow motion, stilling like a movie before him. you were like a dream, your hair was up to try and manage the heat, the strands blowing from the fan that cooled your face. wonbin focused on the sweat that started at your hairline that caused your face to shine like gloss. your faced shined despite the dim lighting of the gas station that casted a green-yellow tint over everything. wonbin didn’t know something so contemporary existed in his archaic hometown. you were too beautiful to be stuck behind the plastic barrier that separated the two of you. you were too elegant to have your backdrop be cigarettes, condoms, and lighters. 

wonbin took in all your features but settled on your lips last, his eyes drifting when he saw them move before going back to their original expressionless line. a second too late wonbins eyes flickered to yours, watching them raise from where you sat. you looked to his items and then pointed underneath the counter. wonbin blinked and moved the empty basket away. 

“sorry. what?” he asked.

“i asked if you wanted a bag.” you said.

“yeah.” wonbin cleared his throat. “paper please.” he said.

wonbin saw your eyes dart up to see if he was serious. wonbin caught himself a second too late, getting a scoff from you before you pulled a plastic bag from below the counter. the bag crinkled as it interacted with the wind, opening to full capacity as the air pushed it open. you put in his stuff with ease, typing wonbin’s total into the point of sale system before turning it to him. wonbin shook his head while he put his card in the empty slot.

“we only got plastic here.” you said smiling.

“sorry. it’s a habit.” wonbin said.

you only hummed in acknowledgment before going back to your magazine. his bag stood upright from the weight of his drink—he hated that the bag blocked some of your face. 

wonbin was used to being ignored, customer service wasn’t something he found himself looking for when leaving the house. he actually preferred to have as little interaction as possible with people he didn’t know personally. he liked to be in and out, getting what he needed—nothing more nothing less. regardless, when wonbin saw you turn back to your magazine his mind started frantically beachrching for a way to get your attention back.

“i’m visiting family.” wonbin blurted out.

“cool.” you said simply, still turning the pages of your magazine.

“my name is wonbin.” he blurted again.

his unprompted introduction got your attention. you looked up from your magazine, chewing the gum that lost it’s flavor a long time ago. it was in your mouth purely to keep you awake and to occupy your mind. the gum was turning to rubber in your mouth as you took him in. you found him to be much more entertaining than the petty drama of the rich you were forcing yourself to read about. the way wonbin wore his white mesh shirt with the solid shirt underneath was better than the celebrities in their designer dresses, and his curled black hair gave him a boyish look that complimented his shy demeanor. when you looked up at him he looked away, the tips of his ears were more red than the marlboro’s that sat behind you. you thought you had seen the boy that stood in front of you riding around on that tiny bike, but you never got a closer look at him.

“hi wonbin,” you flicked your head towards the glass window where the bike leaned on the other side. “that’s your bike out there?”

you saw wonbin come to, shaking his head a little too fast. you closed your magazine and leaned forward, coming closer to the clear plastic barrier that separated to two of you. wonbin leaned back slightly, and the tips of his ears got redder.

“it’s my sisters. it’s really old. i have to ride it because i don’t have a car. because i live in the city.” wonbin rushed.

you nodded calmly to each additional statement wonbin made unprompted. he was becoming more and more flustered just by you giving him your full attention. 

you looked at the point of sale system, it was screaming at wonbin to take out his card, and you had two person line forming behind him as he racked his mind for something else to say. you tapped the part of wonbin’s card that stuck out before he snatched it away.

“sorry.” he apologized again.

“no reason to apologize.” you said simply.

you spoke to wonbin, looking up quickly as the receipt printed from the machine. the proof of transaction curled towards you as it printed out slowly. 

wonbin watched your impatient hand pull the paper out a little too fast, leaving a tiny ripped piece behind. wonbin quickly took his bag off the counter and casted a glance back towards the two people in line. wonbin for some reason stood in place, like he was waiting for you to dismiss him. he never waited around this long, always politely shaking his head when asked if he wanted the receipt. but he stood underneath the buzzing fluorescent light while you grabbed a pen and flattened the receipt with your non-dominant hand.

“you want your receipt?” you asked, not looking up from the paper.

wonbin nodded before realizing you couldn’t see him nod. he cleared his throat again, feeling the impatient eyes of the people in line behind him. it felt hotter in the gas station than it was outside—wonbin started sweating underneath his airy shirt.

“yes please.” wonbin said.

you slid the paper across the counter towards him. the receipt curled back in on itself when you took your hand away. wonbin quickly grabbed the paper, as if someone was going to snatch it from him. your attention went to the person behind him in line, gesturing forward to let him know he was next. he kept it moving in a daze, sounding off the same bell as he exited the gas station. he walked along outside slowly, trying not to show you how much he was freaking out through the glass. wonbin didn’t let himself look at the note until he stood beside his tiny bike that was one gust of wind from tipping over.

wonbin ran his fingers over your number written in ink and beamed at the tiny note at the bottom.

i’m off work in thirty minutes.

wonbin looked inside the gas station, watching you help the next person in line. you looked back for just a second as the person approached your register, smiling and gesturing for wonbin to call you. he smiles before getting on his bike, placing his bag in the little basket in front of the bike. 

wonbin planned to make it back to his house to shower and dress in nicer clothes before going back to the gas station. he remembered the semi nice summer clothes he never took with him when he moved, and he remembered his sisters offer to trim the ends of his hair that had grown in uneven. he planned to make himself look nice, maybe even pick up some food he thought you might like. wonbin looked at the sky biking home, thinking about how happy you looked to give him your number. his mind was too focused on the clouds that he didn’t notice the bike underneath him finally decided to give up. 

when the chain broke, wonbin didn’t initially notice. all he knew what that one second he could pedal and the next he could not. there was no resistance from the pedals but he lost control, the bike behaving on it’s own. for a moment wonbin thought his legs were failing him. but when he looked down he saw the rusted chain loosely hang on the gears of the bike he felt it veering to the side of the road. he was going to fast to stop safely, and the sudden change in angle almost threw him off of the bike’s eroding seat.

wonbin was able to gain control of the bike only for a second. just when he thought he gained control of the steering the terrain underneath the old wheels changed. the old wheels weren’t used to the dirt, or to the wildflowers that tangled themselves in the wheels. the sudden stopped strew wonbin off from the side, causing him to fall partially down the steep hill of the wild flower bank. suddenly the blue sky was replaced with the tall green grass and the colorful blooming flowers. 

landing on the flowers was better than landing on the paved roads, but regardless it was painful. it didn’t help that wonbin rolled down the hill, leaving a burning feeling on the exposed skin of his leg. he stayed still on the ground for a moment, looking up at the sky with a completely different mood. the white clouds moved quickly above him as he registered what just happened. wonbin bent all of his limbs to make sure nothing broke or was strained. he lifted his head slightly, seeing the still spinning front wheel of his previously working bike and the rusted chain that now was completely gone. 

wonbin propped himself on his elbows next, seeing the dirt and grass stain on his shirt and pants, and seeing the red scrape on his knee. that was the only thing that hurt, wincing when he touched it. wonbin stayed like that, laying in the flower bank as he realized what just happened.

wonbin wasn’t sure how long he was laying in the grass. cars past by wonbin unstopping, his body hidden by the long grass. it wasn’t until he heard a bike passing by him before stopping suddenly.

“you dead?” you said to wonbin

wonbin looked up from his spot on the earth. he saw you sitting on your bike with the pegs on the back wheel, one foot kicked out to keep you upright. you looked slightly concered, peering down at the laid out body beside the road.

you were no longer in your work uniform, dressed in something trendy. you were dressed like minju. wonbin thought you wore it better before he cringed at himself inwardly. 

“my bike broke.” wonbin said casually. 

he looked towards the bike and you followed, eyes going wide when you notice the missing chain. the wheel had fallen off in the process too, rolling down the hill all the way to the gate that separated the beach from the flowerbank. 

“i saw you laid out, thought you knocked yourself out or something.” wonbin still laid on the dirt, looking down at his throbbing knee. he heard you walk through through the grass until you stood beside him on the hit. wonbin tried to look at your face but the sun that shined behind you obstructed his vision. all he could see was your hand that you put out towards him. “are you going to lay there all day?” you asked.

wonbin grabbed your hand and you pulled him up, helping him take off blades of grass and dust off some of the dirt. wonbin inspected his knee and the grass stains embedded in his jeans. you saw the injury on his knee after you did a once over of his body. 

“my house is near here.” you pointed down the road. “we can get you cleaned up or something so that doesn’t get infected.” you said, pointing to wonbin’s knee.

when he looked back at the bike you looked too, thinking about what to do.

“i can drop you off at your place after. i don’t think we will be able to fix that.” you said.

wonbin nodded, and slowly walked behind you as you made your way back up the hill. wonbin bit his lips as he forced his legs to walk normally. 

when you two made it back up the hill, you put the kickstand back up and straddled the seat. you pointed your head backwards to the two bike pegs that jutted from your back wheels.

wonbin understood, putting on foot on the bike peg and a hand on your shoulder.

“help me kick off and then you can put your other foot up.” you instruct.

wonbin hums in acknowledgement, paying attention to when you start peddling on your bike. wonbin uses all of his force on his good leg to kick off, giving you enough speed to peddle with the extra weight added on. wonbin lets his foot dangle for a second, ready to dismount if you lose control. but you’re a better bicyclist than wonbin, instantly finding your balance and making your way down the road wonbin fell off of. he looks back for a second at the tiny pink bike laying on the hill, silently memorizing it so he can come back.

wonbin balances on the bike pegs behind you. he holds onto you tightly, still traumatized from the thought of falling off a bike again. you are unaffected, peddling down the road chirping your bell at people who pass by. when you take a turn wonbin leans, doing his best to keep the balance.

“where do you live?” you ask.

wonbin barely heard you, too enveloped in the sound of nature around him. your question registers a second later, and wonbin clears his throat.

“seoul.” wonbin says.

wonbin expected to hear the trademark oooh or ahhhh that comes from people’s mouths when he mentions where he lives. wonbin always lets his chest swell in pride when he hears the sound. but you are indifferent, only humming as you continue to peddle.

“i go to college there.” you ring your bell at joggers who wave at you. it’s wonbin’s turn to hum in acknowledgement. “not all it’s cracked out to be.” you say after a beat of silence.

“definitely not.” wonbin agrees.

you were right about your house being close by.  before wonbin could ask you about your life in seoul, you stopped in front of a house. wonbin had lived here his whole life and never seen this house. wonbin thought it was by design as you led him up the driveway. your house was blocked from all sides due to the growing trees, shrouding your house in shade. wonbin must’ve passed your house at some point in his life, not seeing what was right in front of him.

as your bike got slower, wonbin dismounted, feet digging into the gravel driveway. he hissed from the pain of dismount, completely forgetting his knee was in pain.

“be caareful.” you chided.

wonbin nodded his head, about to tell you sorry until he remembered what you say in the gas station. no reason to apologize wonbin assured himself. he instead nodded his head, following beside you as you dismounted your bike too.

“my parents went to a wedding. they’re not here but they don’t care when i have guests over.” you said.

wonbin passes by the car in your driveway, following behind you closely as you walk beside it. wonbin can’t help to take a peak inside the car through the tinted windows. he sees the steering wheel cover and the dangling charms from your mirror. 

“you drive?” wonbin asks.

“yeah but not lately. my car broke, and my parents refuse to help me get it fixed.” you say.

wonbin remembered seeing the PLEASE FIX ME :( written in the dust of the back window. he wonders if that’s why you have a shitty job at a gas station instead of working and living in seoul. you leave your bike on it’s kickstand beside your steps before walking up the stairs. 

you open the front door, you couldn’t be bothered to lock it. no one here bothers to lock their doors or lock up their bikes—they’ve never had to. wonbin remembers that bad habit he had to break when he heard about burglaries in his building. 

he watches you walk through the space of your house, beginning your short tour at the front entrance where you kicked off your shoes and ending it in the study. you only mentioned the kitchen you two walked through in passing, and failed to show wonbin your bathroom before disappearing to grab him stuff for his scraped knee.

“make yourself comfortable on the couch. i’ll be back.” you say.

when you are gone, wonbin lets himself finally limp from the pain. he practically hobbles to the couch, uneasy on his good leg. his body falls on the side of the couch, letting his body sink into the armrest and cushion as he takes in his appearance. dried blood and dirt is caked on his knee, he somehow got dirt underneath his fingernails and his clothes are stained from the grass. wonbin sees a tear in his clothes he didn’t detect before. he had a really nasty fall, and was more hurt than he realized. brambles and scratchy plants left tiny scrapes that itched on his arm and thighs. 

“i’m back.” you say.

wonbin turns to you coming back from the hallway, one hand holding hydrogen peroxide and the other holding bandages. wonbin sits up on the couch scooting closer to the armrest to give you the most space. instead wonbin watches you sink to the ground on your knees, putting your supplies on the carpet next to you. 

you look up to wonbin before looking down quickly. wonbin’s eyes stay on the top of your head, not knowing what to do being this close to you. you don’t know either, by the way you constantly clear your throat and hesitate speaking. it isn’t until you clean wonbin’s knee with a warm rag that you speak.

“this is going to hurt.” you say.

wonbin can’t react before you press a cotton ball with hydrogen peroxide to his knee. wonbin jerks, pressing his knees together and winces in pain. it’s you apologizing this time, laughing slightly at his reaction. wonbin laughs too, to stop himself from rubbing his wound with his dirty hands.

you put ointment over his scrape before covering it with a large bandaid. wonbin wants to tell you he feels better, that he thinks your touch healed him. but all the words are lost when you look up at him from your spot on the ground. 

“thank you. i feel better now.” wonbin says. 

his hands come down his thighs, ending right before yours start. you still have one hand above the injury on wonbin’s knee, at some point you moved your other hand to his knee too. you’re touching him and wonbin thinks it’s too unfair. he wants to reach out and touch the apples of your cheeks, or touch a piece of hair that frames your face perfectly. your hands grabs onto wonbin’s knee a little tighter and you readjust your body, sitting on your haunches. wonbin lets his hands drift over the tops of your soft hands, holding onto them. your eyes stare at wonbin, and he leans closer to your sitting body on the ground. he can see the shadow of his face cast on yours, how your eyes shine brightly as you look at him. wonbin doesn’t dare come the rest of the way, he only closes his eyes and waits fro you to decide what he deserves.

when you press your lips to wonbin, he takes in how good you smell. sweet and fresh like clean laundry. even being inside the sweaty gas station for god knows how long you still smelled like a living flowwer. wonbin tumbled down a hill of flowers, he knew he smelled like sweat and dirt. his fingernails were dirty, too dirty to touch you. he was getting his grimy smell over your body. he needed to take a shower. he needed to be home. he needed to call minju. 

wonbin abruptly pulled away from you. your lips are still puckered when your eyes flutter open.

“i have a girlfriend,” wonbin sees your expression become shocked. “back home.” he added quickly.

your body that was leaning into wonbin straightens, and he can see your shoulders visibly sag. you comprehend the information wonbin gives you, rubbing your lips together briefly.

“oh.” you said quietly. 

you fixed the sleeve of your shirt that had fallen past your shoulder, turning your body to face wonbin’s wound instead of wonbin’s face. he still stayed in place, replaying the moment of you craning your body towards his lips in to kiss him over and over again. 

you tend to wonbin’s wound again, still gently as you two sit in silence.

“why isn’t she here with you?” you asked finally.

“she hates the beach. and she hates riding bikes.” wonbin knows he’s speaking to quickly, giving you too much information. but he keeps feeling the ghost of your lips on his again. “she also cheated on me.” he added.

that caused you to look away from his wound to look at his face. he wanted to tell you the details, how he caught her on a couch the same size as this one. but he just kept looking at your lips, how soft they were and how they moved to shape sounds coming from your mouth into words.

“i’m sorry.” you said. 

you brought a hand to wonbin’s thigh. he doesn’t remember the last time someone touched him so intimately. but it was under false pretenses.

this touch was for comfort, and wonbin didn’t need to be comforted. he shook his head lightly before placing his hand over yours, stopping your ministrations on his leg.

“don’t be. i’m okay.” wonbin said.

both of you raised your eyebrows at wonbin’s i’m okay. it fell from his lips unnaturally, after he took a beat to lick his dry lips. there was a faint taste of your chapstick. wonbin decided then and there that he was not okay, he needed to kiss you until he found out what flavor was on your glossy lips.

“i was cheated on, too.” you said.

you squeezed wonbin’s hand a little tighter, and he looked to you with wide eyes.

“i met him in college, we were dating for a year? i think,” wonbin sees your eyes go up as you try to remember the dates. you pause for a moment before realizing the exact details don’t matter. “i found out he was sleeping with a girl he was childhood friends with.” you say.

wonbin wonders if you caught them the same way he did. he wonders if your boyfriend told you not to worry about his friend.

“how’d you get over it?” wonbin asks.

he squeezes your hand back and you give wonbin a smile. maybe you are embarrassed for sharing too much. maybe you’re embarrassed for wonbin. either way, he watches your eyes go to the frayed fabric of wonbin’s jean shorts. you pick at it for a second, still pinching the white strings as you look back up to wonbin.

“i fucked his bestfriend?” you say.

you say it like your confused, like you weren’t there when it happened. wonbin assumes the relaxed way you said it came with time of healing. wonbin prays he will get to that point soon.

“did it make you feel better?” wonbin asks.

wonbin sees you think. he sees you look upwards, laughing as you recalled the memories.

“as twisted as it sounds,” you looked to wonbin “it felt fucking great.” you said with a smile.

if wonbin was in his right mind, he would’ve asked you to take him home. he would’ve called minju to break up with her, or at the very least call her in efforts to relieve some of the pain he felt in his chest.

“but they’re still friends and my parents are at a wedding. so who really won is still up for debate, i guess.” you laugh dryly.

wonbin doesn’t bother to ask anymore questions. maybe if he actually had something to apologize for next time he talked to minju he could move on. so he closed the distance between the two of you again, bringing both hands to your surprised face to pull you in.

both of your eyes closed at the same time, and wonbin let you take the lead to deepen the kiss. your hand on his thigh was even softer on his face. wonbin leaned back feeling you stand on your knees as you tilted your head to the side. wonbin followed and separeted his knees, letting you slot between them. 

your face underneath wonbin’s fingertips was soft, almost as soft as your plush lips and your wet tongue that touched his. you were a much better kisser than minju. maybe it was wonbin searching for a reason to feel better about kissing a stranger while his girlfriend wanted to get back together. the more he kissed you the more he forgot, only one thing on the forefront of his mind when he pulled away again.

“strawberries.” wonbin said casually.

you were confused, blinking away your blown out eyes as tongue swiped over your lips.

“what?” you asked.

“your chapstick. it tastes like strawberries.” he repeated.

when wonbin specified, your whole face smiled. it started at your lips and reached all the way up to your eyes while you nodded. you brought wonbin’s face back down to yours, so close that your lips were touching before you spoke.

“yeah, you’re right.” you said.

you brought wonbin back in, kissing him for what seemed like ages. when you pulled away his lips were swollen from the biting, and he was breathless. you seemed to still be ready, kissing and sucking on his neck. wonbin felt your hands travel from his face to his shoulders, picking at the neckline of his shirt. your hands went further down, tracing the sides of his body until you reached the waistband of his jeans.

wonbin couldn’t stop himself from grabbing your wrist before your hand can  fumble with the button of his pants. he doesn’t want you to stop, but the way his chest is already heaving makes him think he may pass out. when you look up at him between his legs, wonbin gets lightheaded.

“do you want me to stop?” you ask.

wonbin shakes his head, his hand still gripping your wrist.

“you have to let go of me so i can take care of you wonbin.” you say.

your words are kind and dripping with honey even though wonbin knows he’s being annoying. when he would be in situations like this with minju, it was always orders with a hard voice instead of something so nice and sweet. sometimes he liked that, but most of the time he wanted to be treated gently—the world was already so rough with him.

wonbin doesn’t let go of your wrist, but loosens his grip allowing you to move freely. you take it as a green light, still keeping your eyes on him as you unbutton his pants. you pull the loose denim down to his ankles, treating it as a cushion for your knees. 

in just his briefs, wonbin feels exposed. the hard outline of his dick in his line of sight makes him feel lightheaded. when you slowly inch your hand up his thigh, closer and closer to his twitching length wonbin has to lean his whole body into the back of the couch for stability. he unknowingly tightens his grip on your wrist, already fighting the urge to rut into your palm.

wonbin is embarrassed, especially how you halt your movements to look at his twitching thighs, and how his free hand underneath his thigh digs into his skin. wonbin can tell you are looking up at him, but wonbin can’t take his eyes of your ceiling, counting each individual tile.

“does your girlfriend touch you like this?” you ask quietly.

he shakes his head, sinking further into the armrest of the couch. minju only needed to tell wonbin once that she doesn’t suck dick. the closest he ever got was a sloppy handjob, that ended with wonbin apologizing profusely when he came all over her hand and his stomach.

“are you a virgin?” you ask.

wonbin shakes his head again. he twitches in his briefs at the tone of your voice, how delicate you are with him. wonbin realizes he knows nothing about you, and you probably know even less about him. you take the time to know him intimately on your couch, trying to make him feel as comfortable as possible by rubbing his legs soothingly.

“i’m sor—”

before wonbin can finish, his words trails off when you place your hand over his clothed dick. his sentence ends with a whine as his dick twitches towards the warmth of your palm. he screws his eyes shut, completely losing count of the tiled ceiling. 

when he feels your wet lips on his thigh, wonbin looks down at you.

“don’t apologize.” you place another wet kiss, one that wonbin follows until he sits on the edge of the couch. “i like how sensitive you are.” you say.

wonbin doesn’t know if you’re talking about him physically or emotionally. his eyes are already wet looking down at you, how your other hand starts messing with his elastic waistband. almost like a switch had flipped, wonbin feels his normal apologetic attitude shift to thankfulness. maybe it’s the way you sound in awe at wonbin’s twitches, or how you let his hand guide you on how he wants to be touched.

your hand pulls at wonbin’s waistband, and he sits up from the couch to give you more access. you’re able to pull his briefs all the way down his legs, freeing his heavy dick so it can slap against his lower stomach. wonbin whines at the sensation of himself being fully exposed, and you hum sympathetically

“so pretty.” you blow cold air onto wonbin’s dick, watching it jump slightly from his stomach. wonbin digs his nails further into his thigh. “can i touch you, wonbin?” you ask.

wonbin nods his head, feeling you wrap your hand around his length. he can’t let go of your wrist, using it as a method of grounding himself. 

you are careful and slow, gathering the precum from wonbin’s sensitive tip to help you glide down his length. wonbin takes deep breaths through his nose and out through his mouth, letting his breath catch in his throat when you grip his length a little tighter.

when wonbin peaks down to see your hand wrapped around his dick he thrusts up into your hand. it’s a knee jerk reaction, something wonbin doesn’t care to control because it makes you bite your lip and pick up the pace of your hand. when wonbin sees his tip poke out past your hand red and angry, he lets his loudest whimper slip past his lips.

“keep going.” you sound almost as desperate as wonbin feels. “keep going.” you repeat.

wonbin listens to you, weakly lifting his hips to continue fucking your hand. his dick glides through your fist from the precum, and wonbin doesn’t stop even when his thighs start to burn. he takes his hand from his thigh and digs it into the armrest instead to keep his body suspended. his hand on your wrist moves to cover your hand on his dick. wonbin wedges his fingers in between yours, and you both form a fist together. 

“can i suck on it?” you ask quickly.

“yes please.” wonbin whines.

you take your hand away from wonbin’s dick, and he continues to pump his dick alone. you use both of your hands to presson his thighs, bringing him back down to the couch. you waste no time guiding wonbin’s dick to your mouth. he can feel his wet fingers poke your soft bottom lip as he lets go of his dick. you’re determined, only pausing for a second before taking the rest of wonbin in your mouth. 

you’re wet and warm around his dick, and when you hollow out your cheeks wonbin presses his back into the couch. he almost wants to pull himself out of your mouth, whimpering in your quiet living room about how sensitive he is. but wonbin looks down at your wet eyes looking up at him, how you bat your eyelashes before moving a spare hand to massage his balls. he sees your nipples poking through your shirt, how your chest is perched perfectly on the couch so close for him to touch. he can see the arch in your back, and he imagines your ass sticking out perfectly. it’s too much, all too much for poor thankful wonbin. 

his hand goes to fist your hair and his whimpers turn to moans. it makes you take him deeper, pulling his dick all the way from your mouth before you take him to your throat. even through the gagging and tears forming at your waterline you don’t stop. wonbin doesn’t know what he’s done to deserve this, to have someone so pretty on their knees in front of him. you were the same girl that wouldn’t give anyone the time of day from your little box inside the gas station. but you look up at wonbin, treating him better than he ever has been treated his whole life. his hand in your air tightens but it doesn’t guide you. he is overwhelmed with emotion, and he just has to feel you somehow. you grab his free hand that is clenched beside him and wonbin instantly intertwines his fingers with yours.

“i’m close.” wonbin whines.

you nod and pinch his thigh, causing his to jerk upwards quickly. your moans vibrate around wonnbin’s dick, and he understands what you want him to do. he starts lifting his lips and fucking your mouth, slow in comparison to your bobbing head. when wonbin feels like he’s about to burst at the seams, he grabs himself from the base and pulls himself out of your mouth.

you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand, smearing the spit at the corner of your lips across your chin. 

wonbin blinks quickly and runs his tongue over his wet lips. he’s never been good at asking for what he wants, especially when it came to sex. he was content with getting or giving whatever minju was in the mood for, too shy to ask for anything more. so wonbin’s request to have you ride him dies in his throat. he is at a loss for words when he sees your wet eyes become confused.

“too much?” you ask.

“not enough.” wonbin says.

wonbin reaches for your shoulders, trying to pull your body up from the ground to come closer to him. you’re slow getting up, legs slightly sore from being on your knees for too long. you grab something beside you before fulling standing in front of wonbin. you hand him the condom, and he looks up to you with big eyes as you work for the button on your shorts. he can see your midriff directly in front of his face, he focuses on the skin as he puts the condom on his sensitive dick.

wonbin looks up between the valley of your braless chest to see you looking outside. wonbin is grateful for the sun that shines all day, giving him a perfect view of your face. you look down at wonbin as your hands go to your shirt, inviting him to take your tight jeans pants off for you.

wonbin is quick, pulling off both your panties and jeans in one go. when they pool at your ankles you step out, stumbling slightly from not being able to see. your shirt is halfway over your head but wonbin is there to keep you steady. his hand wraps around your ass and the other presses into your side, bringing your stomach so close to wonbin his nose presses into your abdomen. he takes in a deep shaking breath of you, smelling the sun and your body wash. everything about you is so green, so lively and luscious wonbin presses his teeth into the skin of your stomach. you gasp lightly and look down at him, hands going to his shoulders when you get your shirt off. your smile tells wonbin that you like it, and your head tilt when he sinks his teeth in deeper tells him you love it.

wonbin pulls away, a string of spit connecting his lips to your stomach. you come down from standing, using your hands on wonbin’s shoulders to push him down gently. wonbin puts all of his trust in you, still having both hands on your body as you slowly push his back to the couch.  

his head was leaning on the headrest when you let go of his shoulders, using your hand to trace down his body. your hands didn’t discriminate, they didn’t work around the grass stains of dry clumps of dirt still stuck to his body. you dragged a hand slowly down from the center of his chest, not stopping until you got to his straining dick again. you come close to wonbin until your chest touch as you guide his length to your entrance.

“is this alright?” you ask. 

wonbin nods and closes his eyes as he feels his tip prod your entrance.

“yes, minju.” 

wonbin realizes his mistake a second before it’s too late. he hadn’t even thought about her up to this point, only thinking about you. it’s still a habit, saying his girlfriends name during sex. his eyes shoot open, to your face that is still understanding. you only shake your head slightly before kissing wonbin’s cheek and going to his ear, letting your breath fan the shell.

“you know my name.” wonbin’s hand on your hip tightens as he feels you guide his tip past your folds “let’s say it together.” you whisper in wonbin’s ear.

he nods against your head, and your name becomes prolonged and broken with a whine as you completely guide wonbin’s dick inside of your cunt. 

both of you feel it, how you fit together like puzzle pieces. wonbin’s foot is planted on the ground beside the couch, and your leg goes in between the cushions as you draw your hips back up. you regretfully pull away from wonbin to get a better angle. you plant your feet on the coffee table beside your couch and the other one sinks in the crack of the couch. you don’t care, because it allows you to rise and fall back down on wonbin’s dick. both of his hands help you, and he doesn’t let anything else fall from his lips except for name.

wonbin gets too close to finishing too fast. it’s inevitable, the way you look above him and how his hands feel against his skin. he can’t focus on how your walls feel wrapped around him, how you suck him in each time you sink your body bad down. wonbin grips at handfuls of your sweaty skin as he starts lifting his hips to meet yours.

“i’m close.” wonbin whines.

“okay.” you whimper back.

wonbin watches your hand drop to your clit, stimulating the bundle of nerves. he lets you focus while he takes charge of bringing your hips down to his. the wet sound fills the space of your living room, and wonbin can feel his sweat dripping onto the couch. 

“i’m close too.” you were in a haste, not letting up on your clit as wonbin continued bringing you down with more force. your hand that held onto the back of the couch was clutched by wonbin, holding your hand as you both became too sensitive to speak. “i’m gonna cum, wonbin.” you say.

“me too.” wonbin says a moment too late.

he can’t bring himself to pull your hips down as he empties into the condom. you milk wonbin’s dick and twitch above him, your hand spasming as you continue your revolutions. wonbin wishes he had another hand to stimulate your clit for you, but his hand is too busy holding parts of your body he doesn’t want to forget. when your body bends forward he lets go of your hip to hold your head, bringing you to the crook of his neck. both of you become squirming messes, rutting your hips recklessly against eachother. you pull away from his neck and rest your forehead on his, mouth agape as you ride out the wave. wonbin looks you straight in the eye, losing himself in the way your lids become hooded and sleepy when you finally start coming down. 

wonbin rests against the couch, letting his clammy body find it’ss strength again. you fold over and the two of your are chest to chest again, rapid hearts beating on top of eachother. wonbin holds you tight to his chest, as he feels tears prickling his vision. he blinks them away, choosing to focus how your finger draws light shapes into his arm. you don’t look up at wonbin’s face as you continue drawing your shapes.

“my parents are probably on their way back now.” you say absentmindedly.

wonbin bites his lip, hoping to taste strawberry.

“my mom is probably worried.” wonbin says.

you sigh heavily, bringing your head from wonbin’s chest to look at his face. you brush his overgrown bangs from his eyes, looking deep into them with sadness.

“we should probably leave then, huh?” you say.

wonbin can only nod, afraid that he will cry if he speaks. so you move off of him silently, shivering when his dick slides out of you. you put your clothes back on and wonbin does the same. he pulls his pants back up while still sitting on the couch, cringing at how uncomfortable his wet briefs feel. 

the tied off condom is thrown away in the kitchen trash, hidden underneath rearranged garbage. wonbin follows you silently out of your home, taking one last look behind him at your living room before closing the door behind him. maybe he can dream about this instead of running.

“i know the way back to my house, so i can drive.” wonbin offers.

you nod, letting him take the lead down the stairs as he carefully takes your bike off the kickstand.

“it’ll probably be easier to ride than that little kid bike.” you laugh.

wonbin laughs too as he adjusts the seat, he does a few test peddles and you watch, hands on your hips as wonbin gets used to a bike made for someone his age.

you follow behind him, letting him gain momentum down your driveway. when wonbin is about to make the turn off the gravel path, you place hands on his shoulders and jump seamlessly onto the bike pegs. once you’re on, wonbin picks up the speed, transitioning from your driveway to the road.

as you and wonbin ride to his place, the sun begins to set. the world is illuminated in a calm blue, and the cool breeze causes both of you to let out sighs of relief. wonbin looks to the side to the beach. the waves call to him, almost like a siren when his phone vibrates in his pocket.

“sorry, can we stop here,” wonbin points to a hill leading down the the beach. he’s quick, only letting the bike wobble for a second from the loss of equilibrium before bringing his hand back to the handle bars. “i have to make a call.”

wonbin feels your hands that gripped his shoulders loosen as the bike regains balance. when he gets your approval he strays from the main road onto the dirt path made by foot traffic. 

before the hill goes down wonbin stops, letting you get off before fishing his phone from his back pocket. he’s silent as he sees no new notifications rest on his lock screen. he can tell you notice, by the way you offer to grab the bike and point your head towards a place of privacy that faces the beach.

“i’ll be up here. i don’t have work tomorrow so take your time.” you say with a smile.

wonbin nods before making his way down the hill. it’s familiar, memories of running down the hill recklessly fills his mind. he remembers coming here to smoke, passing around a cigarette he didn’t really have a taste for with his friends. wonbin didn’t remember the comfort being surrounded by water brought him. being landlocked made him forget the soothing sound of the waves crashing, or the salty breeze that made him feel stronger. the strength of the water came to him, making him pull up minju’s contact and pressing call. 

minju was a nightowl. there wasn’t a doubt in wonbin’s mind that she was awake right now. if he were to text her this she would’ve replied back instantly. he figures it’s harder to hide the fact that there’s someone else in the room when you’re on the phone. 

regardless, wonbin holds the phone up to his ear as he waits for the automated voice. by the time he hears the tone to leave a voicemail he is leaning against the railing, head in his other hand as he closes his eyes. the summer night is comfortable, and the slow breeze cools wonbin’s face. he wishes it could take away his nerves, or that the words he needed to speak would be carried to him by the gentle wind. wonbin anxiously rocks on his feet and bites his fingernail. the lack of feedback on the other side of the line only makes him more timid.

“hey minju.” he said.

wonbin listened to the waves crash on the sand, and the sound of grass moving in the light breeze. his voice hesitated, and wonbin imagined the dark night he stared into as the void in minju’s voicemail box.

“i slept with a girl tonight,” wonbin takes his face from his hand to grip the railing. “that wasn’t you.” he added.

wonbin looked towards the beach, making out the white crest of the waves as they crashed down. he thought about you, how you pulled him in close before crying out his name. wonbin thought if it felt like that when minju slept with her ex, if she completely forgot about wonbin like he forgot about her. he wondered how minju could experience something so beautiful and then try to come back to him. 

the feeling of betrayal grew, starting at the soles of his feet up to his hair that blew in the wind. tears stored from his apartment blurred wonbin’s vision and when he blinked they rushed down his cheeks. 

“i don’t know how you could do that to me.” wonbin’s voice shook as he spoke.

he bit his lip and pulled the receiver away from his mouth as he tried to clear the rock in his throat. when wonbin felt like he had strength again, he brought his phone back to his lips.

“i was neglectful. you were right. i forgot what it was like to be in the moment with somebody.” he said.

wonbin looked down at his feet, then back towards the beach that minju hated so much. he looked back at you. you held your bike still on the side of the road. a car passed by, its headlights illuminated your worried smile. you put up a hand awkwardly, waving to him. wonbin waves at you, giving you a meek smile before turning back to look at the beach.

“i think it’s best if you stay at your friends for awhile.” wonbin says.

before he can say say sorry, the automated voice on the other side of the line tells wonbin his time is up. he keeps the phone to his ear for just a second longer before slipping it into his pocket.

when wonbin’s shoulders start to sag and the tears come freely, he can hear you coming down to him from the top of the hill. you bring yourself and your bike all the way down, until you are standing side by side. you let your bike lean on your body to free your hand. you pat wonbin’s back and grip his shoulders. it isn’t until he wipes away his tears that you speak.

“did she answer?” you ask quietly.

wonbin shakes his head.

“voicemail.” wonbin says simply.

“i’m sorry wonbin, truly.” you debated on giving him a hug, even with the bike in between your bodies. “atleast the sky is really pretty.” you say lightly.

wonbin looks up from his feet to the sky. the stars shine bright, not clouded by the pollution of the city. he doesn’t remember the last time he has looked at the sky, or shared something so beautiful with someone before. wonbin turns to you to see that your gaze hasn’t left the sky either. for the first time in his life he isn’t sorry, he stares at you unapologetically. 

wonbin finally turns away from the beach. he cranes his neck slightly, to kiss your wrist that comforts him. it’s a quick peck, a sign of gratitude both of you struggle not to dissect. instead wonbin holds out his hand for you to go in front of him as you make your way back of the hill. your bike gets caught on some of the weeds, and you almost stumble when a rock slips underneath your feet. wonbin knew to keep a hand behind you, making sure you remained steady the whole time.

one back on the road, you and wonbin silently got into place. the roles were reversed, this time it was you driving while wonbin perched himself on the bike peg. he helped you gain momentum by kicking off like he had done earlier, his foot immediately going to the peg.

you peddled in silence. wonbin started looking ahead at the open road, feeling the wind hit his face. wind whipped in his ears and tried the tears on his waterline as you went down a hill. wonbin let the scenery of his town at night pass him in a blur. wonbin tilted his head, from here it felt like he was getting closer and closer to the stars. his hands on your shoulders were light and your peddling was steady, arguably aimless. wonbin felt himself becoming more and more calm as you two continued to go down the road. he adjusted his feet on the metal pegs, and let out a deep sigh as the wind blew stress from his shoulders.