#too tired for grammar

[theelvishfiddler]

AN ARTIST'S GUIDE TO HANDS

No, sorry it's actually not an artist's guide to drawing hands. Those are just warmup studies (which I'll talk about in this post.)

This is a guide to Your Hands and how to take care of them when making art.

No one ever sits down and teaches artists how to take care of their hands. They didn’t even teach me this while I was in art college. This is just what I've learned myself through years of pain and scouring the internet for advice.

This is going to be a long one and geared towards illustrative traditional/digital/pen/pencil artists specifically, but artists of other mediums and crafts should take care of their hands too! Well, we all should take care of our bodies in general, but this is about hands.

(advice is below the read more)

First off I'm not a professional or anyone with actual medical advice. I'm just some guy with chronic hand pain who makes art. This advice is free for you to use or discard.

WARMUPS!

Ever sit down in the morning to draw and wonder why your art is so stiff and looks so much worse than what you were drawing last night? It's because you didn't warm up!

You know how for physical sports they all warmup and do stretches before getting into the actual sport. To prevent injuries and all that? Yeah, it's good to do that for art too.

One way to warmup is to just draw lines. Try to keep them as straight as you can. Going up and down and diagonal. Draw squares. Big squares. Small squares. Circles! You are warming up, keep it loose and relaxed! Basically just scribble away.

(examples. I usually keep going until there is no paper white left. This can double as practice for drawing straight lines without a ruler, which is a great skill to have when freehand city drawing.)

Before hopping right into drawing people you can try doing some quick gesture drawings. Line of Action has timed sessions with a large variety of clothed or nude models. I usually do the 30 min class as it has a nice balance of short and long timed poses. The point isn't to draw nice art, but to warm up. Try to get the basic form down, not the details. I find that doing a full class session can really help my drawings feel more loose and grounded in reality for the rest of the day.

Some examples I found in my folders. I suggest looking into what a line of action (not the site) is and giving it a try with some of the studies!

COOLDOWNS!

For sports it's to return your body back to your everyday baseline after a workout.

Example; you are working on a big project! A masterpiece! It's detailed and cool! You have been focusing on this for hours and drawing so intensely. But you need to stop working for the day.

A cooldown is for winding down out of the go go go mindset. Put away the big project and do a couple small doodles and sketches. You are relaxing your hand and letting it stretch out. Keep the sketches loose. Let the art happen slowly. Don't polish anything, that can happen another day. Just ease yourself out of drawing.

...

Cool! Now we get into the meat of this thing.

HAND PAIN

How to avoid it and how to manage it if you already have it.

I love you artists and creatives, I am begging you to please take care of your most important creative tools. I really don't want this to sound like scare tactics like "oooh you better do this or blah blah!" Nope. I just had to learn all this the hard way and I'm extremely passionate about it.

Take this advice or don’t ╮(ﾟ～ﾟ;)╭ I can't tell you what to do, I'm not your dad

Adjustments and Small Solutions

If you are feeling physical discomfort while drawing there are many different solutions to try! Here are some suggestions that may or may not work for you.

Hold your pencil more loosely. Stop gripping that thang so tightly!!! Relax that hand! They make these… squishy pen grip things... I think they are called Adaptive Pencil Grips or Adaptive Writing/Drawing Aids? They stop your hand from being all cramped up by making your drawing tool wider. It's going to take a bit of time to adjust to drawing with it, but it's worth it for those who hold pencils too tightly.

Don't press as heavily. For traditional art, if you find yourself pressing really hard to get darker lines try moving to a softer pencil. Most standard pencils are HB, the B pencils have softer graphite. Experiment until you find the right one for you. For Digital, adjust your pressure settings so you don't have to press as hard to get thicker lines. You should not be pressing so hard all the time, it wears out both your hand and your tablet! It takes a bit of time to adapt to pencil or pressure changes. Try doing some unimportant sketches, they don't have to be good. You are just training your hand and mind to adjust using less pressure.

Draw with your arm and not your wrist! It's small repetitive motions that cause the most strain. You probably hear this one a lot, what does it even mean? It means moving your arm with the motions of your line, and trying not to make too many tiny movements with your just your fingers or wrist. This one is hard! It takes time and conscious thought to change the habit. Tips? Work bigger. Zoom in more. Use bigger sheets of paper.

(Motions exaggerated for a clearer example)

Change the angle of your drawing surface. They make angled tablet holders, angled desks, angled desktop raisers. Experiment, find and angle that is comfortable and the one that causes the least pain. (It's also good to make sure you don't have to hold your head at an uncomfortable angle when drawing. Staring straight down or hunching over a paper flat on the table can cause pain!)

Compression Glove? Wrist brace/tensioners? Some folks use them and I've been thinking of getting one for years now. I can't give advice on this one, because I don't have experience with it. Look into it if you want!

Managing Pain

First things first.

IF YOUR HANDS START TO HURT WHILE YOU ARE DRAWING. STOP! Put the pencil/pen/paintbrush/whatever down. The art will still be there for you to continue tomorrow.

I know from experience that it's extremely hard to pull away when you are hyper focused on an art piece. It's hard to remember all sorts of basic needs like food or bathroom when hyper focused. But you Need to stop when you feel that pain. (Preferably even before the pain…)

Take Breaks! Let your hands rest when you can. Just like a machine, if you don't schedule maintenance, the machine will schedule maintenance for you. Often that means having to wait a few days for it to return to functional. Best to take a day off from heavy usage or take an occasional 30 min break throughout the day to let your hands rest.

Stretching is important! Full body stretches are good; your arms, shoulders, neck, and spine are all connected, but I'm specifically talking about HAND and wrist stretching. There are a lot of stretches and massages for carpal tunnel and arthritis out there. I find they work for hand pain in general. Move into and out of each stretch slowly. Do not push a stretch if it hurts!! Be gentle!!

I am not a qualified professional and I will not be giving out specific stretches (that is beyond my personal comfort level). There are other artists out there who have made helpful stretching info-graphics which are cool, but I will not be because i don't want to be responsible for someone accidentally hurting themself. Ask your doctor for stretches & advice or look some up on your own.

Don't feel bad about forgetting to stretch frequently! Of course it is good to do it regularly and frequently, but I would be a hypocrite if I said that I remember to stretch daily. Setting timers for stop and stretch sessions can work for some people, but also doing stretches whenever you remember is fine! If you are sitting on the toilet you can idly do some hand stretches. On the bus? Laying in bed? At the beach? Do a couple stretches! Even just once a week is better than… nonce a week.

Using Cold or Heat to treat pain. If you really overdid it, put your hands in some cold water or wrap a cloth around an ice pack and apply it to your hand. Cold works best for me, but warmth works for others. This is just pain reduction and reducing inflammation from overuse! This is not a permanent solution.

If your hand hurts a lot! Frequently! Talk to your doctor? Idk mine has never given real advice. Just gently poked my hand and told me there isn't much to be done about it :/ but there are really good doctors out there who will care and give helpful advice!

Again. IF IT HURTS TO CONTINUE DRAWING. STOP DRAWING! This is not a "no pain no gain" type situation. Drawing so much that you hurt yourself isn't noble, it's just… limiting yourself. You only get one set of hands. These things are very handy to have.

Other Advice

Things I couldn't figure out how to fit into the earlier sections.

Your other hand can't handle the strain! Lets say you hurt your drawing hand... the other hand is right there free to use for art. Right? Wrong. Your other hand can't keep up with the demand, it hasn't been trained to the same extent as your dominant hand, it does not have the built up muscle. If you want to use that hand for drawing you are going to have to use it s l o w l y and train it bit by bit over a long period of time. When I tore a tendon in my right hand I decided to just keep drawing with my left and I got Really Good at it. It only took like two months before my left hand hurt too much to move. Then I had 0 functioning hands to pull up my pants. Not fun!!

People who draw on phones. That is extremely impressive! I'm amazed by the things people can create on such a small space. But phone artists are the ones I see most frequently mentioning hand pain. please please please make sure you are taking breaks. Would a stylus work instead of using a finger?

Outside of Drawing. Sometimes it's things outside of drawing that are causing the pain. For me there are multiple sources, but I also have tiny baby hands. Holding a phone too long causes pain. The handheld mode for my Switch causes A Lot of pain. The way my hand rests while typing on my laptop hurts! Playing tense videogames for too long hurts! Find the source of your pain and make some changes. The same things will apply to most; take regular breaks, do some stretches, and find soft things to prop up or rest your arms on.

Change your Artstyle. This one is more of a last resort. You might have to change your art style if you are getting sharp pains every time you draw. I loved drawing tight clean lines and many small fancy details, but drawing like that left me in so much pain at the end of the day. In 2023 I had to take the better part of year off from illustrations just to learn how to sketch and draw more loosely. I had to learn how to be gentle. To stop gripping my pencil so tightly. Learn! Adapt! You might discover a new style that you love even more!

A lot of this stuff gets more complicated in a work setting where you have to draw fast and long in order to get paid. Things like reducing your workload can help, but that can be... financially rough. But outside of that, it’s ok to be a slow artist. Going full steam and hurting yourself is not worth it.

Aaaaaanyway, thats all folks. Today's rant brought to you by me! The guy with chronic hand pain who always forgets to stretch! The guy who got frustrated with a sketch yesterday and decided to push to keep drawing for just one more hour! The guy who woke up this morning and had to spend 2 hours massaging and stretching their hands. The guy who probably shouldn't have typed all of this out because ooww ow ouch

If your hands do hurt, it's going to be ok! You don't need to be a speed demon who draws all the time. It's ok to take your time and take frequent breaks. You are going to do great things! Just be gentle with yourself...

[d3arapril]

ᡣ𐭩 video girl | p.b

paige bueckers x reader | part of the invisible string series summary: paige sends you a tiktok she wants to recreate. it'll just stay in her drafts and definitely won't somehow reveal your relationship... right? word count: 1.6k warnings/tags: suggestive content, cursing, allusions to smut but you don't get to see it :p, 2 h*rny in love stupid idiots, that's probably it honestly requests welcome and reblogs & feedback appreciated! :*

It took Paige approximately 10 minutes to reach your house, feet subconsciously taking her on the route she knew so well. When she arrived, she didn’t hesitate to reach into the small pocket of her wallet and take out the spare key to your house, always in easy reach. Like second nature, she slipped it into the lock and let herself in, the familiar creak of the door announcing her arrival. 

She slipped off her shoes by the doormat then rounded the corner toward your lounge like she belonged there—because she did.

Your mother had known from the very beginning that Paige was special. The first time you brought her over to do homework after school, she knew you'd both go far together. A few months later, she had handed Paige that spare key with a smile, saying, “You’re both just inseparable; our home is yours.”

Today was no different.

When she spotted you sprawled lazily on the couch she launched herself at you, her body colliding with yours.

"Hi," she grins up at you from where her head was resting on your stomach, legs awkwardly hanging off the edge of the couch.

"Hi you," you murmured back, hands slipping under her arms to pull her closer, until your chests brushed and your noses nearly touched. "Missed you."

"Missed you too," Paige whispered, her voice soft as her eyes fluttered shut, savouring the closeness. "Feels like forever since I saw you."

Reluctantly, you broke the kiss, pulling back just enough to sit upright. "Alright, let's get this video done," you said, shaking your head with a smirk. "Then I promise, you can kiss me all you want, anywhere you want."

Paige groaned playfully, but she was smiling as she sat up beside you. "Deal," she grinned, reaching to grab her phone from her back pocket. "Anywhere, huh?"

"Ready?" Paige asks, looking up at you with a smile that makes you feel like the center of her universe. Her left hand rests on your hip, while the other grips her phone. You're comfortably seated in her lap, her back against the cushions of your couch she'd grown so familiar with over the years.

"Mhm," you murmur, nodding as your hands rest atop her shoulders. "So, I just… feel you up?"

Paige’s eyes gleam as she looks up at you, nodding with her bottom lip caught between her teeth. “Yep, no complaints from you I'm guessin'?” she teases, Without thinking, you give her shoulder a playful slap, grinning at her.

“Fuck you,”  You laugh, but she was right. You hadn’t seen each other since Azzi’s camp and, although that was only two days ago, you were dying to get your hands on her again. Your girl. 

Paige's grip on your waist tightens as though she'd read your mind, fingertips pressing into the exposed skin beneath your shirt. "'Kay," she says, her voice soft and a little breathless as she looks up at you over her phone. "3... 2... 1..."

The song begins to play from her phone and she mouths the words perfectly, phone angled up slightly. You're just out of the shot, a peek of your knee tucked beside her just visible if you squint. Your hands travel down from her shoulders and across her chest, back up to her neck where your hands rub at the nape, fingers entangling in her hair to give a soft tug.

Your hands traverse to her face, palms caressing her cheeks and fingertips brushing against the apples. Your left hand moves down, fingertip dragging across her bottom lip. Paige's eyes flicker down, temptation getting the better of her as she darts her tongue out to lick, song quickly forgotten.

The music cuts off, silence hanging in the air. Paige's chest is heaving, eyes wide as she licks across her lips; almost as though she's savouring the taste of you. She stares at you, brows raised as her brain catches up with her.

"Damn," she finally breathes out, her voice barely a whisper. “That was…”

“Hot?” you finish for her, curious as you try to catch a glimpse of the finished video looping on her screen. Paige makes a noise of agreement in her throat as she pulls you closer, free hand resting on your ass when your chest presses against hers. With the phone held up between you, you both watch the video play out.

She looks so good, of course. Her cheeks are flushed, slick bun a little loose at the back. You hadn’t expected it to be so provocative, especially when you see Paige lick at your finger. It makes your entire body burn up, fire starting in your tummy.

Paige shifts below you, her eyes flicking from the screen to your face.

“I like that part,” she hums appreciatively, her blue eyes focused on the pout of your lips. “Might save this for later.”

You smirk, leaning in just enough to brush your lips against hers. “Why save it for later when you can have it now?”

That’s all the encouragement Paige needs.

Her phone is quickly abandoned on the couch as both her hands find their way to your ass, squeezing possessively as she pulls you in. “I’ll have it now and later,” she murmurs against your lips, licking into your mouth like she's desperate.

She was.

You're not exactly sure how long you and Paige spent lost in one another on the couch, but you know for sure that if your mother ever found out what went down, she'd probably make you scrub the cushions for the next three years straight.

“Hungry,” is all you can utter from on top of Paige. You’re both a mess of tangled limbs and sweaty skin, chests heaving as you attempt to collect yourselves. 

"Yeah,” Paige croaks, her voice hoarse. “Let’s order. Pass me my phone.”

You groan as you push yourself up and off your girlfriend's body, sitting up to survey the mess of clothes strewn across the floor of the lounge.

“Where is it?” you ask, beginning to root through said mess. Paige shrugs, boxers hanging incredibly low against her hips as she slumps against the couch, hands attempting to fix her messy, no longer slick back hair.

It takes a few minutes of searching, your hands digging through the pile of clothes and rummaging around the sofa, until you finally spot her phone tucked between the cushions.

“Ah!” you exclaim, holding her phone up in achievement and chucking it in her direction.

“Fuck,” she curses, tone sharp enough to make you freeze in the middle of pulling up your shorts.

"What?"

Paige doesn't say anything, just continues to scroll rapidly on her phone until you've snatched it away from her.

You're faced with comments, thousands, on THAT video.

il0vepb | girl did management approve this ucongirlie | WTF 💔💔 WHAT ABOUT THE KIDS PAIGE 💔 us333rn4me | Who the HELL is that!!!!! tiktokuser0202 | PAIGE MADISON BUECKERS?! 😧 pbucketsstan | bro that's definitely @.username look at the nails

"Paige?!" you exclaim, voice tinged with amusement. "You fucking posted it?"

"Obviously I didn't mean to!" she throws her hands up in defence, attempting to mask the growing smile creeping onto her lips. "It must've posted when we were... y'know."

You're torn; half of you wants to scream at the top of your lungs and the other half wants to break into hysterics. Instead, you do neither. You sigh, dropping down onto the couch beside Paige's feet. Even in times like this you feel the warmth of her presence beside you.

"Can you tell it's me? Do we need to make an apology video?"

You can already see it now; both of you sat against a white wall, solemn looks on your faces as you apologise for the inappropriate video and talk about how you're both in the public eye and should be more aware of what you post. Maybe Paige will even get out a ukulele-

"Why the fuck would we do that?" Paige interrupts your train of thought, foot nudging against your leg and snapping you out of the scenario playing in your mind.

"I don't know!" your hands rub at your eyes, almost as though if you rubbed hard enough you could reach into your brain and pretend this never even happened. "We've literally been together for five minutes and the whole world already knows!"

You catch Paige's nonchalant shrug in your peripheral. She reaches out to rub your arm in comfort. "What's the big deal? Let 'em know, right?"

Your shoulders drop as the tension slowly leaves your body. She’s right, and you know it. People have been assuming you were together for ages—this just made it official.

"But..." Paige mutters, leaning over to grab her phone. "I'll probably delete it anyway. Editors will have a field day with this shit."

You sit in silence for some time, picking at your nails as you listen to Paige tapping away at her screen, muttering the occasional frustrated sigh. After a while, she flips her phone around to show you. On the screen, a message from her manager reads something like, You guys are cute, but that was really dumb. Don’t do it again.

"She doesn't care," Paige shrugs, locking her phone and moving so she's sat beside you, pulling your hands into her lap. "Why should we?"

You hum, nodding as your head tilts to rest on her shoulder.

"True," you press a kiss to her bare skin. "Guess we are probably the hottest couple in basketball, hey?"

Paige snickers at that, hand squeezing yours. "Yeah," she turns to look at you, "You're probably the hottest video girl ever, too."

"Oh my god," head tilting back against the cushions as you groan. "I hate you."

"Nah," Paige leans in, voice soft as she teases, "you love me."

You can't argue with that.

[harringroveera]

Steve: So technically that’s OUR stab wound now

[yorufi]

i should get used to posting sketches here, so here are kaalaa and fairy in suits <:

oh and a little portrait of the prettiest, most kissable face (´ ε ` )♡

[zeondraws]

Ok, Fellas, so today was wild

I'm at Gamescom atm and a week before this I tried to make a small plan for myself. Mostly because I had gotten such a big interest for the game, I wanted to see if I can meet anyone at the event.

After having had a big hurdle while trying to reenter the business area, I was able to go back and meet someone from the Chinese Room (I met two today). Which was wild for me, didn't think with this sudden interest in the game that I was able to meet someone from the team who worked on the game so soon.

I told them how I struggle to find interests in most games since those usually don't speak to me, but Still Wakes The Deep suddenly caught my attention. Where I ended up researching a bunch to find hidden details or eastereggs, looking through the game files and replaying the game to further understand the story.

I only had a small window to ask a bunch of questions, I sadly couldn't ask silly questions like "Does Muir look like a Bagpipe?" or ask some Questions about Caz.

Before the meeting I asked people on the discord server if they wanted to know anything. So I tried to take the questions I had for the moment and get through them XD

I did tell them how there is a small community on tumblr/discord where we gather. And that I asked some folk for questions I should ask.

Ok these are big spoilers, at least some suprised me, quite a bunch if them are of course about Muir and Innes.

I hope I remember everything properly that he told me, I immediately wrote everything down on discord for the others to read, but figured making a tumblr post will be good as well.

Innes:

Quite a lot of people asked about the VA of Innes, apparently they forgot to include him in the credits which made them feel extremely bad, even apologising to them. I can definitely understand how that must feel, I think I'd melt away. They'd fix it in the next patch, I can't check if it's already fixed atm.

At the very end of our chat, while shaking hands, I asked if Innes is bald. And the answer was "*laughs* yes".

Now I clearly asked this one as a joke, because I found it funny to tell the others on discord, however I very much support luscious hair Innes that many are drawing.

Muir:

I explained to them how I've been researching some stuff in the game. And figured out, that Muir must've died around the time when Caz flooded the Forward Pontoon in Marine Control. So I asked if that's possible to be the time when it actually happend- and they did confirm this! I was surprised that I got that on point.

But I got some further details about this, apparently they wanted to showcase how Muir would've died there.

Basically, once Caz flooded the Forward Pontoon, you would've seen Muir outside loosing his grip out in the deck and getting crushed under debris.

Which was so painful for me to imagine, to see Muir outside, walking on his tendrils and suddenly not being able to keep his balance.

I tried illustrating how I roughly imagine this scene, it ain't perfect, but maybe it helps everyone to visualise it.

The Flooding shifted the entire rig and debris fell onto him.

To have some sense where everything is, Accommodation Roof (where you find Roy) is on the left side, if you look at the rig from the Derrick entrance. And Marine Control should be on the right side.

The thing is Marine Control is facing the ocean (if I remember correctly, I hope I do, I'm currently not home to check), so you couldn't take a look at the derick while Caz does the thing. Which basically made them remove this and hid Muir nearby the Derrick for players to find. And I told him how I replayed the game and saw Muir lay there with Innes, it was 6AM and I just sat there like O-O

Muir & Innes:

A burning question for many was, what their relationship is. And they told me it's more like a father son relationship, saying how Innes is very strict to Muir.

Muir is the younger one of the two and also likes to tease Innes a bunch (so the pipe thing is one of his many shenanigans he'd do)

Here we see a wild Muir in his natural habitat about to prank his friend (caught in 4k) (I almost died) (look at him plotting).

Now, I could not forget to mention that the fandom decided to ship Muir and Innes and wanted to see their reaction. They took it with a smile and just talked about their complex relationship again. Which I found cool to hear.

I sadly don't remember every small detail of the convo, since I wanted to make sure that I was able to ask all the questions people wrote on discord.

Brodie & Raffs:

This was a surprise to hear, which also made me very sad. Brodie was also like a father for Raffs, he knew his mother too.

And apparently Brodie was supposed to tell Raffs mother incase anything happened to him. So that she can feel better knowing Raffs died quickly and without much pain. Which is just... I'm in shambles. sobbing

Gibbo:

Some folk wanted to know if he had an actual model, to which the person answered with yes. They planned to show him at some point, but decided that the player should see Trots firstly.

I also randomly asked if the Gibbo model ingame was a part of Addairs model (judging by the game files), if I remember correctly he nodded.

I hope we get to see it in the artbook, I preordered it but forgor to tell him that. But it's okay.

I sadly don't remember everything here, I had to check discord for the questions (I hope I don't say anything wrong), but with Gibbo they focused more on the sound design and the mystery. And I think in the end it worked out perfectly.

Other:

They implanted a bunch of eastern eggs into the game, the art director even said he's still finding new ones to this day.

He mentioned the pictures shown in various areas and mentioned that he inserted pictures of his family and cousins etc.

Also the Kid inside the TV in the Crew Lounge? That's the Art Director as a kid! Whaaaaaaaa- Didn't know this one for sure.

And another random thing, I showed him the meme that @cazrig made. Because I inserted it inside my piece of fanart. I sadly couldn't show him more memes of the community because I forgor/no time. The memes Robin made are also comedy gold.

It was this one (I keep dying of laughter)

He found it very funny, so did the other person I showed it to.

But he also talked about how worried he was how the game would be perceived in the end. Since it came out extremely close to the release date of the new Elden Ring DLC. And having worked on it for so long they didn't know how the reactions would be.

But were positively surprised how well it was perceived, people playing the game, tears being shed and so on.

Okay that took me ages to write, I just wanted to have it all inside a tumblr post. Otherwise I may forget stuff if it's scattered on discord.

The event day turned out well for me today. I was so worried, that my tiny plan wouldn't work yesterday. But somehow I had some luck on my side.

After I got home I added his signature to my physical copy. I also made myself a small card with my artwork for it. I also gave them a small card and a big printed version of the fanart as well.

Thank you John!

I go sleep now, tomorrow is another gamescom day

[starrycassi]

Ambrosius's (indirect) champion.

Find part one here

"It's oficial. You've gone crazy"

Ambrosius, who feels thrilled with his idea, scoffs. In a quick move, he drags Ballister down to the bed, pulling him by the wrists, making the boy's head fall directly in his own chest. Had this been practice, he knows he probably would've gotten a punch to the ribs in retaliation. But they are in private, they are just teens, and Ballister allows his boyfriend to drag him down.

"Don't call me that, babe" Ambrosius whines, while Ballister tries to regain some of his dignity by lifting himself up with his arms to establish some sort of distance. "I'll cry"

"Ambrosius, this is not funny" finally managing to get on his hand and knees, Ballister stares down at his boyfriend, frowning. "This is incredibly concerning and serious"

Ambrosius pouts for a second, and giggles to himself after giving Ballister a quick kiss on the lips. He is scared, oh, so scared. He wants to cry and run and scream and punch and the best alternative he has right now is to be pretend to be charming with his boyfriend, but every good thing must come to an end, and he has to face reality.

They sit down, again, in the bed, face to face. Ambrosius's sudden burst of energy leaves as fast it came, leaving him with a dull sense of... confusion. Nothingness.

"You haven't heard my plan" he tries to grin at his boyfriend, hoping that his eyebags aren't nearly as big as he feels them be. "Come on. Let me tell you, and then you can say no"

They look at each other for some seconds, and Ballister gives in, the second Ambrosius brings out his best card on the whole deck: tears.

Crying on command is a pretty useful skill to have, Ambrosius's come to find out. He doesn't go all the way out with it, no this time, but he knows his eyes are watery and his nose is red. Ballister looks away, groaning.

"Fine!" He resigns, throwing his hands up to the heavens. "But if your plan is "something, something, we win" again, I'm out. I'm so out. You're going to have to ask Todd for help"

Ambrosius gasps, offended at the barbarity his boyfriend just said. How dares he? The old "fuck it, we ball" plan has never let them down, but this isn't the moment to bask in the glory of all of their past accomplishments.

"Okay, so..." he starts, taking in a big breath of air. This is going to be long, and troublesome. Sometimes he's sorry for Ballister, who has to learn all of this things as they go, unlike him, who's been memorizing the rules ever since he learned to read. "The duels, right. Not all noble families train their kids to be knigths. Not all knights are heirs, either. If you have an older sibling or just aren't the favor, then you're probably not a heir. Follow me?"

Ballister, who loves learning about new stuff, even if it's nobility rubbish, nods along, "Follow you"

"I am the sole heir of the family, so I have obligations. You already know this. One of those is to keep up alliances and all that stuff"

Nodding again, Ballister chuckles a bit. Of course he knows. He's been there to witness every single event that's happened ever since Ambrosius finally turned old enough to go to balls and shit as an actual member of the upper society, or whatever it is they call themselves.

"We have many allies made by old marriages, debts, whatever. If one of them asks something of me, then it usually really just falls on me to say no. Unless they put up conditions"

Ambrosius licks his lips, grabbing his boyfriend's hands and looking at him straight in the eyes. How wonderful they are, Ballister's eyes.

"Now is when it gets kinda hard, so bear with me. Mom's been saying no to everyone who wants to form an alliance by marriage. Don't make that face, Bal. It's not really a lovely affair as much as it is legal papers, for a lot of people. But if all of my allies get along and decide to put conditions on me, then we're obligated to answer"

"That's so, so bullshit"

"It really is. Specially because, since we have so many allies, they usually never get along for long enough to actually make and write a demand, but I guess I'm just that hot and everyone wants to bed me. Too bad I'm already in love with what my allies would probably qualify as a disgraceful street rat"

Ballister blushes, playfully shoving Ambrosius on the chest.

"They would get a heart attack, don't you think? If they knew about me and you"

"They would get a heart attack if they knew I'm gay. They would get a heart attack if they knew I'm a tube baby because my mom loathes my dad. They would get a heart attack if they knew I eat chocolate cake sometimes. Don't feel special" shrugging, Ambrosius continues, "So, they are threatening to call off a lot of agreements and stuff if I don't answer their demands, which, like, mature much? Not my fault all of their heirs look like horror creatures.

So, Mom, being Mom, decided to have me answer with a tournament, because apparently she believes I'm Hercules or something. I would traditionally have to fight with every single person who asked for my hand in a stupid sword duel and bla bla bla, but that would take forever, Bal. So, they came to an agreement. People fight each other, and whoever wins, figths with me"

"That sounds... extremely complicated" cringing a bit at the lengths people would go for a chance to figth with his boyfriend, Ballister grimaces. Bunch of weirdos.

"I'm not some easy harlot, Ballister. You offend me. Of course trying to marry me is complicated. But, wait, now's where it gets interesting"

"Now? Just now? This whole thing is nuts"

Ignoring him, Ambrosius takes two pillows and places one if front of the other. "There are people who can fight me and expect to win" he says, pointing to one of them. "And people who can't but want the marriage"

"So, a lot of families don't have knights. A lot of knigths aren't heirs. Even if a family has a heir that would marry me, they could just be a scholar or something. All knights are nobles..."

"Except me, clearly"

"Yeah, well. Most knigths are nobles, but a bunch of nobles aren't knigths. Like the Queen and such."

"And this is important because...?"

"Because families are going to choose champions, now. Wich means, they can just find a random good figther who's willing to commit to life to me and make them fight. Mom tried to make it so only noble heirs could enter, but they said no. You only have to represent a noble family, and there can only be one fighter per family. Wich means, you can simply sign up and beat everyone up!"

He throws his hands up in the air, a pinched smile on his face.

"You forget a very small but important detail, Amber" Ballister sighs, rubbing his eyes with the palm of his hands. "I'm neither noble nor a heir, and no family is going to choose me as a champion. You might actually need help from Todd on this one"

Ambrosius suddenly comes to a stop, blinking.

"I would sooner kill myself than marry Todd Disgusting Sureblade. Never. Nuh-uh. Not even if we were the last two men left in the planet. You know how some girls swear they can switch gays guys to the other team? I'm throughly convinced that Todd actually has the power to do so. Leave me alone with him in a room and I come out both a killer and ready to settle down with a woman. Hell, we'll have kids, even. Don't ever joke about that, Ballister. I'm going to have nightmares, tonight"

Cackling, Ballister pretends to apologize, while his boyfriend rambles about how horrifying it would be, to be around Todd every day of his life, and how death would be mercy if anyone ever was to ever be on that situation.

Ambrosius finally stops, clearing his throat to stop Ballister from dying of asphyxiation, "With that settled, I would like to point out that my family can't choose you because I have to represent the Goldenloins. Not because I don't want. But there's still someone, Bal. Someone who's childless, a noble, and probably would love to help us out in this"

Ambrosius's next words convince Ballister of the fact that, yes, Captain Gloria surely drank too much whiskey while she was pregnant, because there's something deeply wrong with this man's brain.

"We're going to ask formal help from the Queen. And we're going to do it right now"

He should've stayed at that orphanage. Things would've been easier.

˗ˋ ♡  ˊ˗

Ballister fixes his shirt, and then does so again. Next to him, Ambrosius is doing a pretty good job at pretending to be calm, but his lips are going to start bleeding in any second if he keeps munching on them like that, and his hands shake ever so slightly.

"If the speech doesn't work out" he whispers to Ballister, while they walk down the marble corridors of the palace, "then you put on your best puppy eyes. Pout and all. I'm bringing out the waterworks. Ugly crying, if needed. Gloreth, I'll fake-faint if it comes to that"

Ballister's pretty sure that the speech they wrote and tried to memorize on the two hours it took to get here (asking for permissions at the institute, getting into a carriage, arriving at the palace, getting the secretary to make them the next meeting using Ambrosius's status) isn't nearly good enough to convince the Queen to get involved in this mess, so he tries to remember the saddest moments in his life. There's a lot. He definitely feels ready to cry and beg.

They reach the Queen's office (because, apparently, queen's do have offices) and are welcomed by two palace guards that open up the wood doors for them to come in.

The place is wonderful. Not rich-people wonderful, it's soul-crushing, life-changing beautiful, instead. Everything is so white and golden and blue and shiny and ethereal.

In the middle of it, the Queen is seated, smiling softly at them. They both kneel down, knigth training and actual admiration manifesting in the gesture.

"Gentlemen" she greets, placing her joined hands on her desk, and they stand up straight, standing still, waiting for orders, her orders, always ready to obey to her, "you may sit down"

They do so.

Ballister's bones are trying to crawl out of his skin, and his whole face itches with nerves.

"Thank you, for receiving us in such short notice, Your Majesty" says Ambrosius, voice full with feeling. He's better at the whole "being social" thing.

"It is refreshing to see young faces on the palace grounds every once in a while" she responds, in that weird way formal people talk when they're trying to say something without saying it. "And I am honored to have two of my best cadets in here today. I have to ask, though, as to what situation do I owe the pleasure of such a distinguished visit? Specially a dual one"

"The honor is all ours" adds Ballister, who doesn't want to feel useless in the conversation, even if he feels incredibly out of place in the dances the nobility follows when they talk, when they breath, when they live.

"We come here with a plead," explains Ambrosius, and he suddenly looks older. Serious, worried, solemn. His voice is deep, calm, "One that would benefit both of us, and for which we require your help."

The Queen hums softly, slightly rising an eyebrow. "What sort of plea my I aid you both in?"

"I don't want to get married" blurts out Ambrosius, straight to the point. Ballister asked him, on the carriage, to be honest with this. He knows how... creative the Goldenloins can get when they want something, and he feels like the Queen deserves the truth. Even if it's a slightly dramatized version of it. Plus, being bold will surely add to the element of surprise.

"Excuse me?" The Queen looks clearly put off at the words, loosing her elegant demeanor for a second, "Come again?"

Seeing her eyebrows frown and her vocabulary change so abruptly, Ambrosius clears his throat, hiding a smile. Their plan seems to be going well.

"I don't want to get married" he repeats, enunciating every word, "And I'm being forced to engage in an obligated tournament for those purposes, Your Majesty"

He gives her a second to understand the words, to take the information in. In those seconds, Ambrosius remembers that one time he thought Ballister hated him, back when they were twelve, and tries to pour all the sadness he felt on his voice.

"Of course, I presume Your Majesty is aware of how vicious and outdated some traditions are" quickly, he glances down at Ballister, who's also putting on his best kicked lost helpless puppy performance, "but I am still subjected to them, as a heir."

The Queen is the Queen, but even her can't change the rules that noble families uphold each other to. That's not what they want, anyway. She nods, looking worried. Bingo.

"That's why I want to help him" cutting in, Ballister stammers a bit, like Ambrosius instructed him to; for extra empathy points, he said, "We've come up with a plan. It's not perfect, but..."

"... it's the best we can do" Ambrosius finishes, following his cue.

Now, they both stare at her, identical sad smiles plastered on their faces. If Ambrosius is as good with people as he claims to be, then they already have her heart in the bag. They just need to get her brain on it.

"And how can I help?" She asks, and both knigths know they've kit the jackpot in the instant her voice comes out. She sounds so much like a preocuppied mother. Ballister feels slightly guilty, slightly wishful. "How may I aid you both, on this quest?"

"We need someone to sign me in" Puppy eyes. Puppy eyes. Think sad thoughts. "No one else but you can do it, Your Majesty. I am a commoner, and the families despise me"

They're not even lying. Most nobles do despise Ballister. They're just... putting some heart onto the delivery of the news.

"He's my last resource" Ambrosius is about to cry. Teary eyes, red cheeks, trembling words. Such an actor. "My mommy can't do it because she's my own family, and I am so scared, Your Majesty. Marriage is the least of my concerns..."

He leans in to her, even if it's only the three of them in the room.

"Just... just, you know, thinking about what someone with control over me could ask for, gives me chills," and, to spice some politics in, he whispers to her, "there's so many things my mom would give over for me. Money, land, jews... Gloreth, even alliances, or debts. There's a lot of power tied into the family, and if I'm allowed to be honest, I fear for what would happen if all that rested in the hand of someone evil. Some villain. Some monster.

It's a well known secret that the Goldenloins could match the royal family in influence, in power. They're probably a bit over them, if one were to actually measure the impact they have on the people, on the kingdom. Ambrosius couldn't care less about this knowledge, but the Queen should be able to recognize a threat when it's in front of her.

She blinks once, twice. Ballister makes a show of giving Ambrosius a handkerchief for his tears, and he takes it with an apology for his horrible demeanor.

"I see why you've come to me," she finally speaks up, eyes fixed on them, "and I am glad that you did. This is an urgent matter. I am deeply troubled to see you in this state, Goldenloin"

Ambrosius mutters a quick thank you, still "too emotional" to talk.

"And I am glad to learn that the bond between my star knights is as strong as the walls that protect this kingdom. You both are what keep my people safe, after all"

Ballister's never been so proud to be compared to a wall as he is right now. It's wonderful.

"To show you my gratitude for your hard work, I will agree. Ballister, you can fight in representation of the noble house of Elpis, as my champion. Any armor or other supplies needed will be provided, too"

Thank Gloreth and every single saint ever for Ambrosius's manipulative ass. He's so in love with this dramatic wreck of a man. Thank Gloreth and every single saint ever for Queen Valentin's tendency to go against tradition. He's so grateful to have been born under her regency.

They both thank her, deeply, multiple times, bowing their heads. Ambrosius even sheds some more tears and wipes them off with urgency.

Then, the Queen stands up, and they follow suit, ready to leave with their victory. Before they can go, however, she shoots them a question, one that they didn't come prepared for

"You both are aware, I pressume, of how the nature of your... bond, could affect this tournament?"

Stop. Pause. What did she say? Whatdidshesay?

They look at each other, completely out of track. This time, she is the one with the upper hand. And they're so fucked. Seeing as how their silence continues, she speaks, again

"Your romance" she clarifies, and Ambrosius's choke on his own saliva isn't fake. Ballister goes so red his face burns, and, out of instinct, he hits his boyfriend on the back to try and stop his death. He hits a little too hard, but it works.

"Excuse us?" Screeches Ambrosius, high pitched, "Our what?"

"You must be confused" says Ballister at the same time, feeling like a very dumb caged animal. They didn't plan this. He's got no idea what to do next. "Ambrosius and I don't-"

"We would never-"

"We couldn't even be together! I'm just some commoner and he is..."

"Don't talk about yourself like that"

"Amber, this is not the moment to-"

"I won't let you be mean to yourself in front of the Queen"

The woman in front of them chuckles, amazed at their idiocy. They both blush even more, if that's possible. They suck at this whole "pretending to be single" thing.

"You're adorable" she coos, and Ambrosius is ready to change his name and move towns, "You remind me so much of Derek and me, back when we were young"

She brings up dead husband, as if this isn't weird enough already.

"Surely, you know that if people take notice of this, and Ballister does end up winning — like I have faith he will — they could argue that the tournament has been rigged by the Goldenloins"

They look at each other, bewildered. They never even considered that possibility. The Queen chuckles some more.

"I trust you would come up with a way to deal with that problem, Mister Goldenloin. Your mother's always had her way with schemes and theatrical dramas, and I am fairly sure that I just witnessed one of your plans in action, didn't I? Was any of what you said true, cadets?"

Of course. Of course. Of curse that, The Actual Queen, who's probably been working alongside Captain Gloria her whole life, would notice. Perhaps they didn't plan this as neatly as they could've. But they had less than a day to come up with the whole thing, so.

"I really, really don't wanna get married or have to obey to someone" argues Ambrosius, pouting. "Specially to some older weirdo"

"And I really, really don't want him to marry or have to obey to someone" agrees Ballister, apologetic. "Specially some older weirdo"

After considering them for some seconds, she nods again, agreeing to keep her word. Seeing no point on subtlety, they hug each other quickly, to celebrate.

"We're going to give back every penny you spend on Bal in this whole thing, swear to Gloreth" promises Ambrosius, one hand drapped along his boyfriend's back, "when he wins, I'm throwing a party, and you are so invited", quickly, he adds, "uh, Your Majesty, ma'am"

She lets them go after discussing some minor details, and they beam all the way out of the palace.

"I told you my plan would work" Ambrosius puffs out his chest like a proud peacock once they're on the carriage back to the institute, texting Gloreth knows who on his phone, "We're irresistible"

"She only agreed because you asked her. No one says no to a Goldenloin, Amber"

Ballister stretches, already tired. This whole thing has been draining. He's so ready to go back to the institute and join classes again. If this carriages hurries up, they might get there in time for sword training before lunch, his favorite part of the day.

"Talking 'bout Goldenloins..." trails off Ambrosius, playful smile painted on his lips, playing with the phone on his hands, "what you say we go talk to my mom now?"

"Absolutely no way-"

"Too bad" he interrupts him, placing his hand over Ballister's lips, "already told her we're on our way. She asked to chefs to prepare us something tasty"

Fuck this kid and his lack of self control.

[xamaxenta]

bath

[lapinposts]

how it feels to read people on this site criticize death of the outsider

[tales-of-magic-and-chaos]

The probability of Loki having a gigantic crush on Stephen upon meeting him is 100%.

[lighthouseas]

dustin henderson isn't underrated in the sense that the audience forgets about him - quite the opposite. most of the ga i've met have said he was their favorite character. no. he's underrated in the sense that these people who claim to love him really don't know shit about him, only seeing him as the one dimensional "funny haha steve's friend" and NOTHING else.

yeah you love dustin but can you separate his character from his friendship with steve? can you name some of his iconic scenes across all seasons? do you truly recognize how unbelievably SMART this kid is? do you recognize the fact that he is probably JUST as traumatized as the rest of the party? or do you just see him as comic relief? oh, he's always smiling - he must be fine. we don't need to REALLY pay attention to his character.

where are the in depth dustin analyses? where are the duzie fics? where are the DUSTIN fics that don't just center on his friendship with steve and treat him as lesser within the party? where are the dustin edits? you claim to like him and yet you pay no attention to his character. why? why is that?

tl;dr: so many of you love dustin, but only on a surface level

[berrythefish]

Past handlers in written fanworks:

Some brainrot

Comic time ig

[curiositykilledtheradiostar]

When Melanie said Georgie told her Jon "didn't really do all that," what she actually meant is she found a mug at the back of Georgie's cabinet with "THE ONLY THING IM FUCKING IS STUPID" in ace flag colours

[werechair]

what if there was a disco elysium ttrpg for 5 people. one plays yellow skills, one plays blue skills, one plays red skills, one plays purple skills, and one is harry/the GM. the players make checks and roleplay to try to get harry to do what they want. I'd imagine it would feel like piloting a meaty mech and might capture the feel of the game well.

[legendarymapmaker]

I saw a post about swim forms and got the idea to sketch this really quickly

Callie: "Aw! They're so cute together!" Eight: "Like that you should carry me."

Agent 3: "You're too heavy! I'm setting you down!" Eight: "I not am weight that much!"

Marie: "To be fair... we weigh just as much in swim form as we do walking form."

This was a quick sketch. Had more ideas for it, but I am tired today and cannot draw the double quantity of panels my original idea required, haha. I hope you can at least enjoy what I did make.

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

hello!! love your content! i was checking your masterlist and i saw that you had a post about a nonhuman farmer — however, my farmer OC has different features from the one who was previously requested. so i was wondering if i could request something similar, but changing a few things. if not, you can ignore this!

so, i would like to request a similar post: the villagers (bachelors, bachelorettes and townies) reacting to a nonhuman farmer. however, instead of rat-like features, i wanted a farmer with fox-like features — as in, sharp claw-like nails, fox ears, fox tail, fangs and vertical pupils (y'know, similar to when people make a human gijinka of a fox character), all the fun stuff.

additionally! i was wondering if you could also include some Ridgeside Village characters. (i know RSV has like a shitton of characters so it doesn't need to be all of them 😭 if you do include, i would love if you did Raeriyala, Daia, Jio, Blair, Maddie and Ysa specifically, as these are my favorites) but if you can't do them, that's fine!! thank you for your time and take care!

Hello, dear anon! Thank you so much ❤️

Sorry for the long reply, but since there are a lot of characters, I had to write a little longer. I won't include all the RSV residents as I haven't thoroughly researched them all yet, but I wrote about the ones you asked for. Enjoy!

Stardew valley characters react to a non-human Farmer (alt. version):

_________________________________________

Considering that Shane often left the Saloon after two or three mugs of beer, it wouldn't surprise him if that new and annoying farmer had tall fox ears or fangs, since he could chalk those hallucinations up to alcohol intoxication. Worse things will happen if Shane, in his sober state, meets them again.... This town was a bunch of freaks. Though he thinks he's just as much of a freak himself...

Marnie's first thought after the Farmer's true origins are revealed is to make more locks on her chicken coop. Please forgive her, but she had recently survived a fox infestation that took out her favorite hen, and Marnie was still grieving and a little paranoid about foxes. But that was rude to the Farmer, for which she immediately apologizes.

All Elliott wanted was a relaxing fishing trip with his close friends, Willy, the old fisherman, and Farmer. But the Farmer apparently likes to pick a bad time to dedicate secrets. "I'm not really human." Elliott is in a stupor. "Excuse me, what?" "Aye, lad/lass said they're not human." Why in the world is Willy reacting so calmly? And why is the writer only now noticing their fangs and fox ears!

Yoba, poor Harvey and Maru were running around Farmer in circles, unable to understand the x-rays and blood test results. Vertical eye pupils, pointed fangs and claws... Their minds were racing, trying to find answers in medical textbooks and in scientific articles about single cases of mutations. So Farmer would be in the clinic for a long time, before the town doctor and his assistant find answers.

Yo, Farmer, hey! Look at the cool hoodies Sam got for his friends: Abigail's hoodie has cat ears sticking out, and Sebby's wearing a dark green hoodie with a cute frog face. He himself has a hoodie with bunny ears. It's a bit silly and childish gifts, but his friends love it and having fun, so that's what matters most. Oh, you have a hoodie like that too? It's cool, it's got real fox ears and a tail. Huh? Wait, what do you mean they're real? Like a- Holy cow, the ears move! How??? Sam and Abby are shocked, and Sebby thinks it's cool. The trio needs answers!

Looks like Rasmodius doesn't need to brew a potion for Farmer, since they already have forest magic. Oh please, don't look at him so surprised, nothing magical can escape the wizard's keen eye. But there is no need to panic, he himself is completely connected with magic and unusual things, so he will respect the Farmer's secret. Well, now let's talk about Junimo....

Huh, is Farmer what, 7 years old or something? Why are they dressed up in costume? What? Alex can see that? Of course he see it, with those ears and that floor-length tail, it's hard to miss. And... fangs? Strange people, one wearing all black, the others trying to prove to Alex they're foxe. It's crazy.

What the- Oh, for crying out loud. Kid, at least let Marlon and Gil know it's you. They thought the monster from the mines had gotten out and were ready to draw their swords from their scabbards. All right, let's go back, foxy, heh... We're going hunting soon, and you have the best nose for hares.

"Let's see... Dwarves, Shadow People, Elves... No, alas, nothing similar from history." After recognizing the Farmer's true origins, Gunther thought he might find mention of "fox people" in the library books, but there was nothing of the sort. However, if the Farmer themself knows their origins perfectly well, they could write the book! If the Farmer doesn't mind, the library keeper will help with writing a book about the history of an unknown civilization (or just a fairy tale, if no one believes it).

The Farmer decided to reveal a great secret to Kent? Do they want to reveal their true origins to surprise the veteran? Well, the secret's out, Farmer's not quite human! Aha! Caught him by surpri- Wat??? Why no reaction? What's with the 🗿 face? I've seen stranger things in war?! Ugh! "You're not human!?" Well, at least it didn't take long for his wife, Jodi, to react. The poor woman now has mixed emotions about Farmer.

Wow, Gus had heard a lot of different rumors about the new Farmer, but never would have thought.... Well, even though they're not quite human, it doesn't change the way he feels about Farmer. They're a very kind friend and a wonderful person (even if not human), so no prejudice, much to Farmer's relief, on his part. The doors of his Saloon are always open to them.

What? Fox ears? Ah, the Farmer must be playing with the children, they were just putting on all sorts of headbands with the ears of different animals. That's nice of them. Yeah, Jas, did you want something? Does Farmer have real ears? Sure, sure, Uncle Lewis believes you. *Ahem* By the way, is Aunt Marnie home?

Ah, my friend. Sit next to Linus, don't be shy. Warm yourselves by the fire. Hmm? Did you want to say something to him? About not being human, by any chance? Oh, no need to wonder, Linus can see through the magical barrier that wizards and other creatures wrap themselves in when they want to hide. But he's their friend, so their secret is safe. She knows what it's like to be an outcast.

Fox parts on the human body? Fangs, tail and ears?! Scientifically impossible! Demetrius is very interested in this unusual mutation of the new Farmer and would like to investigate it, perhaps even help in some way. Of course, with the Farmer's permission, after all, science is science, but there must be at least some boundaries of decency.

Beyond her natural shock at the news, Robin was glad that Farmer trusted her enough to entrust her with this secret. And she gives her word that if Farmer told her about her not quite human origins, she would keep it. Heh, that's funny... Robin's parents often called her "little foxy" and now Robin will also call Farmer. Just a light tease, nothing bad!

Young one, take off that stupid costume, it's not Spirits Eve. George doesn't understand the younger generation: he used to play grindball with his friends when he was a kid, and now teenagers are putting on silly costumes, calling themselves beasts and going back and forth and interfering with his TV watching. Don't even try to change his mind, he won't believe the Farmer's fox ears are real.

When Farmer stopped by to visit Emily, the girl immediately started praising these plush ears that look just like the real thing. Haley decided to argue with her sister for some reason and began to lament that the fabric probably wasn't the best quality. Emily disagreed completely, and decided to touch the soft fur on the long red ears. Poor Farmer immediately bounced away from the girls. Huh? Tickles? They're not real, how can they.... Did the ears just move?... Okay Haley, stop screaming, let's calm down and talk about, as it turns out, quite real fox ears.

Oh, Evelyn remembers Farmer's Grandpa saying that in their family, the fox was the totem animal. There were statues, wooden sculptures and paintings on his farmhouse. Evelyn is glad that Farmer is also proud of it, even if it is a little unusual, wearing fluffy fox ears. (No, she doesn't believe the fox parts on Farmer are real).

Mr./Mrs. Farmer is a fox? Are they some sort of fox lord? Do they have magic? Can we see it? While Jas and Vincent pepper Farmer with various questions (because where else would you see a fox neighbor?), Leo giggles and thinks to himself that when he, his friends and Farmer play hide and seek, with those tall red ears Farmer will be easy to find.

Clint needed to get some fresh air: the heat of the forge had made his mind foggy, making the farmer look like an animal. But when they went outside, the farmer's animal image hadn't disappeared..... Did he drink too much at the saloon last night?

Oi, that's a strong ale. This stuff is amazing! Gus, pour Pam another full mug! Hell yeah. Hmm, who's distracting her? All right, kid, give her a break after work. Ugh, what do they want, huh? She's busy right now- Why does Farmer have fangs like an animal? And what's with the eyes?... Gus, Pam changed her mind. She's had enough beer for one night. She's already seeing some weird shit.

Aah! Oh, Yoba, what's that? Or rather, who is it? Farmer? Why did you dress up in a costume and get into the bushes and scare Leah? What do you mean, "not a costume"? You got the lenses, and the tail down your back. A real one?! Okay, well, even if that's true, what makes you think hiding in the bushes was the best way to present yourself? Smell of delicious berries. Alright, the artist agrees, blueberries are really good.

Dear viewers, our favorite show begins: "How fast can Farmer make Penny faint?" Last time, our top contestant scared a young teacher in 5.43 seconds when they came out all bloody from the mines. This time, Farmer will reveal his secret to Penny. Aaaaaand.... Exactly two seconds, and the girl fell senseless. A new record! (Apologized to Penny right now).

"I hope we don't get rabies from you?" "Pierre!". Our lovely Pierre, Mr. Tactfulness, part-time shopkeeper, is on a roll as always. Thank Yoba that at least Caroline knows when to stop her husband. So what if the Farmer is a little different, that's no reason to throw around name-calling. "Don't listen to him, dear customer", no one realized where Morris was coming from here. "There's no prejudice in our wonderful Joja about weirdo-, er, I mean unusual people. Come to us, we have 25% off!" "Wouldn't dream of it, Morris! Dear customer, can you bite Morris to give him rabies?" Thanks again to Caroline, who got a bucket of water from somewhere and poured it on her husband and Joja manager.

Bonus + Ridgeside Village:

Wow! Daia didn't know that her Lady's lover, the great Raeriyala, had helpers too, and such a cute one. Oh, you're fox spirit? Hee hee! She wants so badly to touch the fluffy ears, or the soft red tail! Wait a minute... They're not spirits, they give off a completely different aura.... The grandchild of that old Farmer? Intriguing. But it still won't save Farmer from teasing or flirting.

Trust me, if Maddie doesn't run away from a strange sound in the bushes in the middle of the woods, the huge fox ears will definitely make her rush back to town. She won't even realize it's not a wild animal, just a Farmer. Nope, not today, forest! She's too young to die.

Finally, the barrier was removed and the Farmer was able to meet her. Yes, oh farmer, Raeriyala knows who you really are, no need to hide it. She has a lot to tell you about your Grandmother, the evil that lingers in Spirits Realm, and much more. "Are you my mom?" "...What?" (It would be a very awkward situation if Farmer didn't know their biological mother, and then there's a woman fox. So you can understand their confusion).

Not only did Farmer show up at a rather suspicious time, but they're also not human. Jio's caution will not be limited, as there may be spies everywhere, who want to harm his friends, his Lady, and interfere with his mission. On the other hand, there is something about this Farmer, because there's unusual, just like him - where will you meet another elf, right?

And how you supposed to concentrate on fishing when someone is running near the lake and yelling? Blair's irritation was immediately replaced by incomprehension when she saw Ysa running out of the woods toward Ridgeside Village. The girl had dropped a small basket of flowers. And when the young fisherwoman saw in the distance the silhouette of a humanoid with obviously animal-like body parts, it was already Blair's turn to run, leaving the entire fish catch on the shore. And the Farmer only wanted to talk to them 🥲

[sheikahwarriork]

Got a prompt for you

Dimileth Post-Timeskip pre-Gronder unplanned pregnancy

(thank you so much anon, i had so much fun writing this!! hope you enjoy it too :3 <3)

wordcount: 1.2k

“Fuck!”

“… Fuck indeed”.

Byleth looked up at Mercedes, biting her lips. “What the fuck am I supposed to do now?!”

Mercedes sighed, visibly worried for her professor. “I think… you should at least tell him, professor. The final choice is entirely yours, of course, but he has to know”. She hesitated. “He needs to know”.

Byleth lowered her gaze. “Sadly, I think you’re right”.

The former mercenary was standing in front of the Cathedral, unable to step inside. She caressed her belly almost unconsciously. ‘You’re not a mistake. I just… I'd rather prefer you not to meet your father when he’s… like that’.

The belly didn’t respond.

Byleth was angry. Furious. She had never felt such rage, not even to Kronya the day Jeralt died. And the worst part? She didn’t even know who exactly this rage was for. Herself? Maybe. Destiny? Not exactly; destiny was Sothis, and Sothis was long gone. Him? Well, yes, of course; but not only. Biology? That one, too. Maybe especially it.

Byleth’s gaze wandered inside the Cathedral, immediately recognizing his figure, standing in front of the old Goddess statue, as he did every single fucking day since they reunited.

Okay, maybe that anger was totally for Dimitri. What did he do, since she woke up, since she found him? Kill, talk to the dead; kill, argue with Byleth; kill; and kiss her. He kissed her. He fucking kissed her. That damn bastard, who once was so afraid of his feelings he even took back his love confession, had the gall to grab her and kiss her like she was water and he was lost in a desert. He kissed her at the worst time possible because she had waited for it for so long, and that wasn’t the right time. She had kissed him back. Byleth missed her Dimitri; missed the sweet prince, missed the caring student, missed her kind friend. She shouldn’t have kissed him back. She should have scolded him, have stepped back. That… that wasn’t her Dimitri. Her lips weren’t for that… not-Dimitri. She should have gone away. She hadn’t, of course, because when Dimitri’s hungry lips captured hers, she felt… desire. Longing. Fire; a burning sensation she thought would kill her instantly. It hadn’t. She indulged in the fire, she lost herself in that fire. She was fire; she had been since the beginning.

Byleth shook her head; it was pointless to think about… that. What is done is done.

She stepped inside the Cathedral; he didn’t turn to her, his shoulders startled slightly, the only sign he noticed her presence.

Oh, the anger was back. Like a tsunami. “Oi, asshole!” Byleth shouted, unable to stop herself. “I have something important to tell you, so at least, look at me”.

Dimitri hesitated for a moment, but apparently something in Byleth’s tone caught his curiosity, since he did turn to her. He just shot her a vague questioning glare.

Byleth sighed. She thought about the advice Mercedes gave her, about what to tell him, how to tell him—

“I’m pregnant”.

It didn’t go exactly as planned.

Dimitri’s eyes widened, the hand holding Areadbhar twitched. He didn’t say anything, just looked at her for forty seconds straight.

“… Who”, he eventually said.

Byleth furrowed. “What?!”

“Who dared touch you”, Dimitri growled, his voice raising in tone.

Byleth blinked a few times. “What the hell do you mean”.

Dimitri was getting closer; he stopped a few inches from Byleth’s face.

“I’ll kill them. I’ll kill whoever dared to touch you, no, whoever dares to even look at you—”

‘Oh… oh heavens, no. He can’t be that dumb, can he?’

“What are you talking about?”

“… The baby’s father, of course”, he hissed, visibly annoyed. “Who is he”. Dimitri looked away, almost as if he was unable to hold her gaze. Almost as if he feared the answer.

‘Oh. He is that dumb’.

“Who do you think he is?” Byleth asked, almost casually. He was going to pay for his dumbness, and she deserved some fun.

Dimitri turned to her, anger in his eyes. “Don’t tease me, you! Tell me who dared touch my—”

“‘Your’ what? Am I yours now?” Byleth interrupted him, folding her arms, holding his gaze.

Dimitri gasped and fell silent. Byleth, still looking him in the eye, grabbed his hand and placed it on her belly.

“This is yours. This— is ours”. ‘You dumbass’, she also thought, but decided to keep it to herself.

Dimitri’s eyes went from their joined hands to her face, looking at her in disbelief.

“Keep in mind—I’m not asking you for help or… or opinions. I don’t need them and don’t care about them. I’m just telling you because you have the right to know—”

Byleth stopped talking when Dimitri suddenly dropped to his knees, their joined hands still placed on Byleth’s belly. It took her a few seconds to notice he was sobbing. Desperately sobbing.

“I’m sorry”, Dimitri was mumbling. “I’m so sorry”.

Yes, Byleth was generally angry with him, but she didn’t hate him. Quite the opposite, in fact. That’s why she yielded and took his face in her hands, looking at him. “Why are you apologizing, Dimitri?” she asked softly.

Dimitri startled, as he did every time Byleth called him by his name. He tried to turn away, but Byleth kept holding him, looking him in the eye. “Answer me”, she demanded.

“I…” Dimitri gasped, searching for words. “Your… child… deserves a better father. A better person. All I know how to do is kill… I have to… They… are telling me this is wrong; I do not have the right—”

“Dimitri”, Byleth interrupted firmly. “A soon-to-be-human is growing inside me. A child will be born. I will be their mother, you will be their father. Now, tell me. Who is more important? The long-gone ones, or the coming ones? Who do you want to dedicate your life to? What, who does your life belong to?”

Dimitri’s eyes were shut, tears along his cheeks. “I… want… it to be yours. Both of you”. His eyes opened. “But, tell me, professor... Please, Byleth, tell me... How do I silence their desperate pleas? How do I... How do I save them? Ever since that day nine years ago... I have lived only to avenge the fallen… How could I be a fitting father for a small creature if I can’t even please those that are already here…”

“Those are not here, Dimitri”, Byleth whispered, her forehead touching his. “But I’m here, and they… they will be soon”, she added, bringing his hand back to her belly. “You just need to choose. Not necessarily now. I’ll… wait for you; I’ll always wait for you.” Her vision was blurred. Was she crying too? ‘I miss you, Dimitri. I miss you so much. Please, don’t leave me alone anymore…’

She would wait until the end of time, if needed, to have a glimpse of her Dimitri back. She knew it, and it hurt. Because she was aware she’d never stop loving him. And, sometimes, to love means to wait. And, often, waiting is painful.

Lost in her tears, she didn’t immediately notice Dimitri’s hands softly caressing her cheeks. When she did, she opened her eyes to meet Dimitri’s resolute gaze. “And I’ll always choose you, my beloved.”