#took me like. 6 hours over the span of 2 days

[darkdakota8998]

“Memories”

rbs very appreciated!!

[ilguna]

can u do 6, 7, 66 list 2, carl grimes !! i don’t have a specific scenario though 😭 <3

spider web (Carl Grimes)

warnings; swearing, gun mention, arachnophobia.

wc; 3.7k

prompt; 6. "Kiss me and/or shut up." 7. "Where does it hurt?" 66. "Why are you always so dramatic?"

notes; set in a non-specific time after season 5, no major spoilers besides what happens at the prison.

–

The moment you stepped foot inside of Alexandria, you had a feeling that you’d be suffocated and controlled. It was the way that Aaron talked to you, like you were some misfortune teenager that ended up with Rick’s group, instead of deciding to stay. You have no blood-relation to anybody here, apparently that makes you irresponsible.

What really did it was when tried to make you hand over your gun, telling you that you’ll see it again. You’d just have to check it out from Olivia first on your way out of the walls. You couldn’t agree to it.

You’re not entirely sure why Rick and the rest of the group did. It could’ve been the desperation of wanting a safe place to lay their head, and Aaron and a few of the others had done an awful lot of convincing. However, none of you actually knew how safe it would be just yet, and you couldn’t trust them, not after what happened at Terminus.

So, you refused to bend to their rules until you knew that you could trust them. You didn’t care about what Rick or Carol felt, it was up to you. Olivia wasn’t happy about it, she told you that if you didn’t hand over your gun, then you’d be required to leave. Without another word, you’d pulled your bag onto your shoulders, tilting your head in the direction of the gate, asking if they’d escort you.

Aaron had to step in, backtracking. You were temporarily allowed to keep your gun on you until you were interviewed by Deanna. The entire time you sat outside with them on the porch, waiting your turn, was filled with Carl begging you not to do this. He didn’t want you to leave the group over a little disagreement.

They understood why you felt the way you did, but they reasoned that Terminus had left an impression on all of them. It’s exactly the reason why Rick didn’t believe Aaron about Terminus. Yet, here you all are, because they’re telling the truth so far.

“You don’t get it.” You snapped, turning your body away to face the street instead. Carol placed her hand on your shoulder, and you slapped it away. “And I don’t have to justify myself.”

You couldn’t promise anyone then and there that you wouldn’t leave. Not even Carol, who had been the one to save you the year prior from walkers. When you were alone, waiting for your dad to return from his run. One day turned to a week, and you knew he was dead somewhere, there was no point in waiting anymore. You didn’t know where to go. Carol came through the neighborhood an hour later, and she took you back to the prison.

That’s where you stayed, until the place got attacked by the Governor, and you were forced to leave. You were almost alone again, but Rick and Carl found you on the way, obviously in the middle of a fight. You tried to keep out of it. You knew Carl, you weren’t close enough to get into his familial affairs. He wasn’t as talkative back then.

It wasn’t until Michonne showed up, did he begin to talk to you more. You went from friends to best friends in the span of a week. 

It’s the reason why he begged you to stay in Alexandria and not leave. You’re safe to him, someone he can trust. He couldn’t afford to lose you over the fact that you couldn’t give up your only source of protection. Especially since your dad gave it to you before he left you there alone with the promise that he’d be back.

You had to explain this to Deanna, the entire time feeling her judgment. How could a teenage girl be so attached to something so dangerous? You knew that she wasn’t fond of the idea, so you tried to reason with her. You told her that you would take all the bullets out of the gun, but you wouldn’t give it to her. She couldn’t make you do that.

All she had to say was that there was a strict no-gun policy inside of the walls of Alexandria unless you were leaving them.

You vividly remember standing up, smiling, and saying: “Well, I guess it’s decided then.”

She was fooled, thinking that you were going to hand it over to her. She held out her palm, waiting for you to pull it out and place it there.

You shook your head, “I’m leaving.”

Deanna let you get all the way to the door, waiting to see if you were bluffing or telling the truth. When you didn’t stop, reaching for the doorknob, she finally asked what your conditions were. 

You scoffed, telling her that you wanted to keep the gun on you at all times, bullet included. You didn’t care about her policy, or if she thought that she and these walls could keep you safe. You didn’t believe her. You didn’t believe any of them, because you haven’t experienced Alexandria in the middle of a crisis.

“There’s never been a crisis before.” She told you smoothly.

“An even better reason for why I won’t be staying.”

“You’re a child.”

“No.” You snapped, turning to look at her, “I’m not, and I can perfectly handle myself, so what makes you think that I need you?” Silence followed the statement, while you waited for some half-assed lame excuse to leave her mouth. There was none, “That’s what I thought.”

“You can keep the gun.” She sighed, “But absolutely no bullets, and we’ll be checking your bag. Will you please sit back down?”

“No, I’m done talking to you.”

After that, it was nothing but a hassle to get the bullets to go outside. Deanna must’ve told Olivia not to give them to you, because you’ve had to sneak them out of the gun supply every single time if you needed them.

You could’ve left—you almost did—but Carl convinced you to stay. And to appease the urge to be outside, you’ve resorted to sneaking out, since they won’t let you through the front gate under any circumstances. Unless you’re accompanied by Carol or one of the others to supervise you. If they won’t let you leave safely, then you’ll find a different way out. At least then they would know that you left, instead of finding out that you’re missing several hours later.

The only person that knows you leave the walls anymore is Carl, and that’s because he finds the walls stuffy sometimes too. There’s only so much you can do in Alexandria before you begin to go insane, which is another reason why you were afraid of finding a place like this. You’ll forget that you’re surviving, not just living. What happens when those precious walls fall? You’ll be as useless as half of those Alexandrians.

“What’re you thinking about?” Carl asks, squeezing your hand when he looks over at you.

“Alexandria, unfortunately.” You sigh, “I miss the prison.”

He shrugs, “It was cold there.”

“We had a good community.” You defend.

“And the beds sucked.”

You roll your eyes, “At least there was a lot of work to do. We were never not busy.”

Carl stops walking, forcing you to stop too, “You know, if you want something to do—”

“Shut up.”

He grins, “You could get a job assignment.”

“Shut up.” You repeat, pulling your hand, “Forget I mentioned it.”

You start walking again, Carl follows, “If you’re too embarrassed, I can ask for you.”

“I’m not working for her, ever.”

“You say that now, but eventually you’re going to get bored of being bored. I know you better than that, (Y/n).”

You don’t say anything back, because he’s right. You’re not going to be able to sit around and do nothing. That’s why you wish you could ask to get a running assignment, so you can leave the walls when you want, for however you want. Instead of something stupid like landscape.

Carl knows very well that he’s the only reason why you’re staying. He better be careful when it comes to pushing your buttons.

Carl turns, heading for the nearest house. It's two-story, with a faded green outside and white trim. You follow him up the walkway, watching the street for any walkers that might be lurking nearby. You haven’t seen any the entire way here, not even in the shortcut through the woods. It’s odd seeing the world so bare of the dead.

Carl knocks on the front door a few times to draw attention of any walkers that may or may not be inside. You pull out your knife, the two of you quietly listening for any noises. When no dead show up at the windows, Carl is the first to enter cautiously. You check behind you one more time before stepping inside, shutting the door in case you’ve got trailers.

There’s been a few times where you’ve learned your lesson when it comes to keeping doors open. Carol always says that there’s nothing more dangerous than closed doors and inescapable houses. You disagree. If the door is shut, you know for certain that there’s nothing following you inside, unless it’s alive.

The two of you split to clear the house. You’ve been through this neighborhood plenty of times, and recognize the patterns to the layouts. You just haven’t been to this branch before, you and Carl take it one cul-de-sac at a time.

You creep into the kitchen on the left, eyes searching open places and hiding spots. You knock on the countertop to see if you can draw anything out of the shadows. You swing the pantry door open and jump back, finding it partially empty. There’s plenty to bring back to Alexandria, though.

You click on your flashlight as you get deeper into the house, heading into the laundry room. You check every corner and hiding space, finding nothing but a pile of clothes in the corner. With nothing here, you back out, and head into the main foyer, where Carl’s already waiting for you, sitting on the stair, messing with a tennis ball.

“Clear.” You murmur, “We’ve got a nice pantry to raid.”

“Let’s start with that first.” He says, tossing the ball into the living room.

The two of you dig through the cupboards and pantry, setting them on the counter to see just how much you’ve found. You have a feeling that everyone already knows that you sneak out frequently, really there’s no point in hiding it. You might as well bring back an apology gift, even if you aren’t sorry by any means.

You and Carl split the food into your bags to make it easier to carry. You zip up your bag and swing it onto your back again. Carl returns to the living room to look through the DVD’s. You sit on the arm of the couch, waiting for him patiently. He’s so funny when it comes to trying to find things for Judith to watch or toys to play with.

The house is pretty untouched since the beginning of the apocalypse, judging by the amount of food in the pantry. You get off of the couch, wandering over to the window sill. You have this game where you run your finger over the thick layer of dust. You roll it between your fingers, turning to flick it in Carl’s direction.

He watches it land by his feet, glaring at you, “Let’s go up.”

He goes up the stairs first, as usual. You follow him wordlessly, looking over the picture frames on the walls. A family lived here, parents and two teenagers—a boy and a girl. You brush some of the dust off to see a picture more clearly. 

At the top of the stairs, Carl points up, “(Y/n), look.”

You follow his finger, and see that he’s pointing out the attic to you. A smile comes over your face as you hurry up the rest of the steps. It’s your favorite part about exploring houses. What do they have stored in the attic? It’s typically Halloween costumes, Christmas decorations, old stuff that they use once a year, but sometimes there’s good shit.

“Bingo.” You grin.

You follow Carl into the teenage boy’s room. You curiously look at the video game posters on the wall while he opens drawers and sifts through the boys’ belongings. There’s no picture frames in here, nothing to tell his story besides the hallway. Carl pulls out a stack of comic books that he doesn’t own yet, and carefully slides them into his bag.

You watch him walk by a game system four times before he notices it. He’s excited when he sees the video games on the shelf beneath, looking through them one by one. He picks a few that he’s interested in, and then the two of you leave to check out the other rooms.

The parents’ bedroom is uniform and cleanly made, untouched since the day they left. You find a few sweaters in Carol’s size that she might like, folding them over your arm to carry them with you for the time being. Carl tries to find something for his dad, but he’s at a loss. Everything here would be too out of character for him.

The final room belongs to the girl. You open the door this time, going to take a step inside. 

The smell of rotting corpses is all too familiar to your nose by now, but the odor inside of the room is foul. You let out a gag, covering your nose while you take several steps back, shaking your head, “I’m not going in there.”

“We’ve seen worse.” Carl peeks.

“I’m sure we have. I’m still not going in there.”

Carl reaches in to grab the doorknob, “Alright, let’s go into the attic, then.”

The two of you work together to get to the string that’s hanging from the ceiling. Carl brings the rolling chair from the boys’ room into the hallway. You step onto the chair, using his shoulder as support while he holds it steady. You pull the door open, and a flurry of dust comes raining down on you.

While you cover your mouth and nose, you realize that there’s no ladder that usually goes with it.

You let out a sigh, “Well, this sucks.”

You reach your hand in the air, trying to see if your fingers even graze the edge of the opening, and they don’t. You can’t even guarantee that a jump would get you up there, either. You hop off the chair, placing your hands on your hips, biting the inside of your cheek.

Suddenly you redirect your attention to Carl with a smile.

He frowns, “What is it?”

“You know, you’re tall.” You flash him a toothy smile, “Let me on your shoulders.”

Carl makes a face, slowly starting to shake his head.

“Don’t say no yet, we haven’t tried it.”

“Babe, this is a great way to get us both killed because we end up falling down the stairs and breaking our necks.” He reasons.

“Just drop me in the other direction.” You wave off his concern, then motion for him to get down.

Carl closes his eyes, but lowers to his knees, “You’re lucky I’m in love with you.”

“I’m lucky you love me.” You agree, carefully placing your thighs on his shoulders, “Up we go!”

Carl takes a deep breath, holding it as he struggles to find a good footing. He uses the wall to help him extend his legs all the way, eventually reaching for the closet doorknob to get him up the rest of the way. You steady on his shoulders, being careful not to make any big movements. He takes it one step at a time to bring you beneath the hole, and then adjusts his stance.

This isn’t the first time he’s done this for you, and if he accidentally drops you, it wouldn’t be the first time you fell down the stairs. That’s why you’re not worried about it. You haven’t died yet, so there is no reason to be careful.

You can grab onto the edges now, and you pull yourself up most of the way. You’re very careful when you use Carl’s shoulders to push up the rest of the way. It’s dark as all hell up here, once your butt is firmly planted, you click on your flashlight, watching the dust dance in front of the newfound light.

There are loads of boxes and containers, all written on to tell you what they hold. You look for a ladder, but don’t seem to find one. It must be in the garage, that’s the only other place where it would make sense. You wiggle onto your stomach, placing the flashlight down while you reach down to grab Carl.

“No ladder?”

“Must be in the garage.” You say.

He steps onto the chair, and then proceeds to jump to take your hand, sending the chair flying across the hall. You let out a light laugh, beginning to pull him up. You hold with both hands for most of the way, but as soon as he can reach, you switch to one hand only. Carl swings himself into the attic, and it takes him five minutes of deep breathing before he decides that he’s ready to help you look through boxes.

Just as you thought, there’s Halloween costumes. Carl pulls out a pirate hat and tosses it to you to wear while he pulls over an eye patch, “Aye aye Captain.” He muses.

You let out a snort.

While he continues to go through the other boxes, looking for any swords, you end up stopping on a bin marked ‘grandma’s stuff’. You pop open the lid, pulling out the covered wedding dress and laying it on the ground. The further you get into the box, the sadder you seem to get.

There’s an old jewelry box, inside lies precious gems and silvers that their grandma must’ve loved at some point. You wind the back of the box, watching the ballerina begin to spin first, then the twinkling song plays slowly. You run your finger over the rings, necklaces and earrings.

There’s a photo album in the box. It’s falling apart at the seams, so you’re extra gentle with it while you look through it. It’s old pictures, all greyed out and almost hard to make out what they’re supposed to be. Family pictures that must be decades old, maybe grandma when she was younger. There’s a polaroid here and there, nothing too amazing. The box stops singing, and you careful put everything back inside of the container.

A tickling sensation touches your shoulder, you try to brush it off, taking it as a piece of dust or something. Except, when it’s sticky, you look over.

A scream leaves your throat as you swat away the spider web, rubbing it on your jeans, while heading for the only escape. Carl watches you in stunned silence, until he realizes what you’re about to do.

“(Y/n)---wait!”

You slip out of the attic, falling several feet until you hit the hardwood floor. First its your feet as you twist your ankle, your knees painfully slamming next, the last being your hands.

“Ouch, fuck!” You shout, face twisting as you immediately move to grab your ankle.

A black speck with several legs reminds you why you had left the attic in the first place. Another scream, much louder and terrified than the last, follows. You brush your skin rapidly, backing away from the area as you desperately try to find the demon somewhere on the floor.

“(Y/n)?” Carl asks, hanging his head out of the attic, the eyepatch slips off his head, and he barely catches it in the air.

“I fucking—” You slam your good foot on the spider, dragging your foot a little to ensure that it’s dead, “I think I twisted my ankle.”

“Why are you always so dramatic?” He sighs, hanging his feet out, and then dropping down.

“I’m not kidding, Carl.” You snap, wincing when you try to roll your ankle to stretch it, “It fucking hurts.”

He’s on the tip of his toes, shirt riding up as he stretches to grab the string to shut the attic. He watches it resume its place, “All over a little spider.”

You slam your good foot into his skin, boot scraping along skin. He lets out a yelp, backing away from you. You shake your head, turning over onto your knees to get up carefully, using the wall as support. It hurts to put any weight on your right ankle, but you have no choice. There’s a long walk back home with a heavy backpack and a wall to scale.

“Let’s just go.” You mumble, limping over to the steps. You’re sure that you’re doing more harm than good by walking on it.

“Hold on.” Carl says, grabbing your arm, “Let me look at it.”

“No.” You snap, he lets you pull away from his grasp.

He doesn’t care, getting onto his knees, hand on the back of your calf to keep you from going anywhere while he unties your shoe. He’s very gentle when it comes to pulling off the boot and peeling back the sock to take a look for himself. 

“Where does it hurt?”

“Right on the ankle.” You sigh through your nose, looking away from him.

He ignores the noise, pressing on the skin, watching your face for a reaction. He gets it when he presses a little too hard and you grimace. You jerk forward, placing your hand on his head to steady yourself.

“There.” You motion, “The last spot you touched.”

He helps you stretch it enough to the point where you can stand on it without too much pain, “My poor baby is in so much pain.”

“Kiss me and shut up.” You tell him, he smiles.

[niuniente]

I have multiple favorite characters. They're all equally beloved. I don't get to choose which one of them is on the spotlight - they come and go on their own.

Because of this, I have assigned a personal meaning to each character: this character means have more fun; this character means that keep your eyes on the price; this character means a time of transition; this character asks to rest more. Always works!

A month ago, Dragunov from Tekken appeared on the spotlight (this didn't happen with Tekken 7 so we can't blame the new Tekken being out).

Now, the first time he was on a spotlight was 15 years ago. I was in a horrible place back then. There was a legal mess which, if the shit hit the fan, would ruin the rest of my life. Literally. I wouldn't be able to get a rental apartment, make any new contracts like electricity, phone, internet, buy anything with monthly payments, get subscription services, I would lose part of my income. I was THIS CLOSE to lose it all and the worst thing was that there was nothing I could. I hadn't caused the mess but I had no way out of it either. I even went to a lawyer to ask for a legal help but he couldn't help.

I feared for my life and future, hoping it would turn out OK. What kept me sane was playing Tekken 6. I played it hours every day and always as Dragunov. I even did my art school final thesis of fan culture and Dragunov (I had much fun with a Russian fan who drew really pretty pics of Dragunov and gave me an access to her screencapture collection of Tekken 6 for my thesis)

Then, one day I figured what was Dragunov's assigned meaning; you will survive. No matter what the odds, even if it was the 3rd world war, you will survive and come out alive without any harm.

That's exactly what happened. Took 2 more years but I got out alive, unharmed. It was horrible time. I'm glad it's over.

So, when Dragunov NOW suddenly appeared on the spotlight after 15 years, my initial thought was "WHAT WHAT, WHAT'S THE BAD NEWS??? WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN?? WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE ODDS ARE HORRIBLE BUT I'LL SURVIVE????! "

Two weeks later, in a span of a week, without any prior warnings:

I got laid off because the company bankruptcy and fell on a social welfare

this happened while the current right-wing government made big cuts to social welfare and housing benefits (so I don't know if I can keep my current home)

while at the same time prices keep getting higher due to inflation

The IUD for anemia treatment came out on its own

Because of that I'm without any help to my iron anemia and the only solution will be hysterectomy in my case; doctors aren't giving those easily (even when needed)

I lost my workplace healthcare which would have been the easiest and the best way to get to hysterectomy

the sudden removal of IUD is causing me horrible withdrawal symptoms

my Japanese friend told me that she's unable to come to Finland this year and has to postpone her trip till 2025 :(((

(which also means I won't get my favorite cigarettes I smoke for fancy treats a few times a year because I can only get it from Japan - ordering tobacco online is illegal here)

noticed that wasps had made a nest to my balcony (that's being taken care off)

couldn't attend a free(!) ice-cream tasting for a feedback and for a free 15€ gift card because of the IUD withdrawal symptoms

found out that trains aren't operating normally and my home station is under construction and causes some issues

So yeah. He wasn't lying. It's been so bad that the first thing this morning when waking up was to take stomach medicine and have a smoke. And I'm not a smoker.

Horrible times are up ahead but I trust that I'll survive out of this phase just like I did 15 year ago.

(:::з」∠)

[caramel1mochi]

ぐちゃ ! (Splat!) [Yoru x F! Reader] [4.5]

Heya!!

Guess what? I managed to write a short one between chores! I would've made it longer, but I'm terrible at hiding things and my dad would've been pissed if he found out haha

Promise when I'm 100% free, the next one won't be under 10k words!! Dare I say, pinky promise.

❤ฺ·。

Yoru x F! Reader

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 4.5 / Part 5 / Part 6

Genre: Fluff, angst

TW: Heavy mentions of anxiety. Like really really heavy haha

Words: 4.9k

Synopsis: Hapless doesn't even begin to describe you. With your life flipped upside down within the span of a day; you're left to rely on your best friend Tala to help you pick up the pieces and build the new one forced upon you. And this 'luck' seems to have caught the attention of one of her friends.

。+❤ฺ·。❤ฺ·。+❤ฺ· +❤·。❤ฺ·。+❤ฺ·

It’s been a long time since that debacle took place. And you never knew how fun it would be to spend a few hours with Omen looking up on how to make candles, but here you were, in the cafeteria, with a few dozen candles in the counter.

You’d taken a short break to shower and, in that time, you had discovered that Neon snuck in that spiked choker you saw that day at the store. But since she was gone today, you decided to wear it and save the scolding for later.

Luckily, though you haven’t seen Neon today, it started off well with you being called to Viper’s office. It seems like, after that catastrophe and everyone had their rest, the break was now officially over. And you were deemed ready to be sent off on your first mission.

Simple, just a mission where you’d be playing a passive role whilst your partner took care of most of the work.

Viper tapped on her laptop and rapidly switched to different folders. But given that you stood on the other side, the back of the device facing you, you had no idea what she was doing.

“So, I’ve singled out the best candidates for this mission, but you can only pick one.”

You nodded with a smile, and she began listing out their names.

“You can either choose Chamber, Astra, Fade, or Sova.”

She flipped the laptop and allowed you to look over their pictures. And yeah, sure, seeing their faces helped, but you still had one tiny issue.

“I don't know any of them. I don’t think I’ve even talked to them once. Can’t you pick like, Jett, or Neon?”

Viper straightened her back, arms crossed.

“This isn’t a scouting mission, those two can’t anchor the area I want them to.” She crossed her arms. “You’ve been here for almost two weeks, have you really not talked to everyone here?”

You nervously shook your head, and she flipped the laptop back towards her.

On your first mission, you hoped you’d get someone close so that you wouldn’t let your anxiety get the best of you. You wanted to explain, but the words just wouldn’t come out. Guilty couldn’t even describe how you felt. Was she feeling annoyed? Did she think you were hopeless? Maybe you should’ve strayed from your comfort zone for once and talked to everyone here! Maybe you–

“I can manage to fit in Yoru, instead. Omen told me you talked to him often. Is that true?”

Your face turned white, and you awkwardly laughed.

“Why not, uh, you know, Skye, at least? She’s probably a better candidate, and stuff.”

It just felt so awkward when he’d just healed up only a day before.

“Yoru’s the best I can do. He’s also the best when it comes to novice agents. I guarantee things will go smoothly with him.” 

“Uh, what? How can you be so sure?”

“I’ve seen him with Neon. Her performance was notable around him, and it’s not just because they’re friends.” She straightened her back once more, sighing. “Look, I’ll talk to him. If he says no, I’ll see if I can squeeze Neon in.” 

You almost wanted to laugh at the thought. Yoru, and best when it comes to novice agents? Please. He’s probably only reliable because he uses physical force to keep things in order.

If anyone would fulfil that role, it would definitely be Omen. you remembered how he calmed you down that day, how much more gentle he was compared to Yoru. The same guy who called you spineless and dubbed it ‘honesty’, or whatever mental gymnastics that was.

“Okay, great! I’ll go get ready, then.”

Just as you turned to the door, Viper called out and forced you to halt.

“Hold it.”

You turned and met her gaze nervously.

“Just in case things don’t go well, promise me you’ll cooperate. I tolerate enough squabbles as is, and I'm not in the mood for more. You won’t be arguing with Yoru. Is that clear?”

…

You forced a smile and nodded. With how stern her tone was, her rigid posture and those piercing green eyes, how could you not be alarmed?

“I’ll– uh, you– you have my word.”

“Do I?”

You nodded once more. And this time, it was only a tiny bit more convincing than the previous one.

“Good. Well then. Chop chop.”

You were finally allowed to leave, and this chance was immediately taken before she’d say anything else. With a loud slam, you left her office and immediately made your way down the halls towards the more familiar sections of the HQ.

And on the way, sure you intended on keeping your no-argument promise, you were also desperately hoping that he’d say no.

❤ฺ·。

With Yoru by your side, it felt like the very grim reaper decided to accompany you, despite the fact that his skin beamed like that of a newborn baby’s. Cute, admittedly, but you still had to work with someone who probably hates your guts and you didn’t know why he even said yes.

Fun. 

Nevertheless, unable to go back, you were forced to exit the vehicle and make your way towards a deserted part of town. Guns in hand, you were nearly ready until you took in the sight that befell you. 

Sure, it was just an alley, but the rows of buildings that towered over you on each side were stunning, especially when combined with the gentle touch of the morning sun’s rays. Built with unfathomable meticulousness, their baroque architecture rendered your mind blank for a few seconds. It felt like you were staring at a renaissance painting in real time.

Yoru immediately noticed your silence.

“What’s up with you?”

You were ripped away from your hypnotic state, anxiously cradling your Bulldog like a baby.

“Nothing, I–” you turned your gaze to the path, “just surprised.”

Though you were angry at him in every sense of the word, you couldn’t help but note the tone of that question. What the hell?

You met his gaze.

“Are you okay?”

Yoru cleared his throat and kept his eyes on the exit way in front of you.

“Tell me you read the brief.”

“I– uh, what? Duh, why wouldn’t I?”

“Great. So that means I won't have to baby you.”

You rolled your eyes and moved past an abandoned bicycle, strapped to a withered tree growing through the flooring, somehow. Surprisingly enough, Yoru took a sharp turn towards said bike.

“Wait, wait, where are we going?”

“The Radianite reserves, lady.”

He explained. And only when you followed him did you see a black gate, obscured by the tree. You held your weapon and followed him in silence in an attempt to shield your embarrassment.

The mission sounded easy enough, though. Go in, delete some files, and get out. Boom, done.

Both of you climbed up the stairs, and you were unable to voice a question that randomly popped up earlier. Were the mirrors really just them, but from another earth? It sounded so surreal, not when you haven’t even caught a glimpse–

“Locked.”

Yoru said, attempting to force the doors to one of the buildings open. You stepped up, looking around for any other entrances. Aside from windows waiting to be shot, there was naught, and Viper specifically stated that nothing be damaged unless it’s an emergency.

And the feeling that Yoru would constitute this as an emergency popped up. He’s going to punch or shoot the glass, isn’t he?

“Well, we can always just find another door.”

“Tch, what are we, delivery boys?”

Or girl scouts. He pulled back his arm.

“Yoru, wait–”

A loud contorting sound took over your ears. But instead of breaking the window, you watched his fingers somehow disappear like they were being cut off. Then, he moved his arm, and a massive rip formed in front of him, various shades of blue merging together each second that counted by. It dwarfed you in height, considering that it worked to match his.

It was as if he tore the very air to reveal… whatever that was. And to say you were baffled would be an understatement.

“Uh–”

“Stay here.”

He ordered, and slipped into the dimension, the storm of blue surrounding him like some form of ethereal being. However, amidst your shock, you noticed the opening close.

“Yoru, wait, don’t–”

With one swift motion, it sewed itself shut, and he was gone.

“...leave me here…”

You brought the bulldog close to your chest and hugged it, rapidly looking around. You were jumpy. So much so, the sounds of the very leaves touching the ground made you react, even the pebbles that were crushed under you with each step.

Where the hell did he go? The least he could’ve done was provide a demonstration for his abilities!

But then again, you just argued… Gah, that idiot. Does he ever think logically?! What if one of the mirrors already arrived and could see you out in the streets like this?

You jumped and aimed at the door once the doorknob twisted. With each second the person behind it spent fumbling with it, you backed up, doing your best to keep your aim steady. And with one more click, it swung open, revealing…

Yoru. 

“How–”

“Hurry up.”

He ushered you inside, giving you only a picosecond to comprehend what the hell he just did.

You huffed and walked behind him, using the lingering glowing shards of blue that surrounded him as a guide amidst the darkness of the building. Whatever was inside, you weren’t sure, but you knew the colours were stunning.

You suddenly felt a burst of confidence, especially since he willingly came along.

"Couldn't help yourself, huh?"

And you immediately regretted saying that.

"Tch, as if. Viper forced me here because you'd freak out working with people you don't know."

"Oh… really?"

"I would've expected you to at least talk to Sova or Astra. But if I were you, I'd stay away from the Chamber and Fade."

You stared at the elevator you both neared for a moment, the metal doors glimmering in the darkness almost like a guide built especially for you.

"Why?"

"I just don't trust either of them. Unless you're into animals, Chamber's good with those, I guess."

"Isn't that Gekko's thing?"

"Gekko has asthma, genius."

He promptly pressed the button on the elevator. Surprisingly enough, it still functioned, and a green ring encircled the button alongside the distant rumbling. Against the eerie silence around you, it stood out, like a distant titan taking slow steps towards the city.

How the hell did Yoru of all people keep track of everyone’s ailments? Even you forgot he had asthma. The silent screech of the elevator doors sliding open promptly snatched your attention.

“You know, for a loner, you know a lot about everyone."

"Someone has to babysit when Sage isn't around."

You giggled, entering alongside him.

"Really? Who's the hardest to babysit?"

"All of them."

Yoru slipped out a disc from his pocket and attached it to the screen of the elevator’s keypad. With a press of the button proudly displayed on the front, it glowed and immediately began working at the elevator, moving you towards the reserves.

You weren’t sure whether or not he was just bragging or being truthful about this babysitting thing, but it was funny to imagine. Yoru completely lacked the patience Sage was endowed with. Maybe one day you’d walk in on him tossing someone to a rift.

❤ฺ·。

The moment the elevator opened, Yoru immediately walked out and marched across the massive room you weren’t given a moment to process, moving in between the stacks upon stacks of glowing cyan boxes. This sight, though normal to him, was completely arcane to you. Said boxes were the only sources of light in the area. Combined with the dust and the intimidating darkness, it was hard to tell what’s what, despite their insistence on how simple the mission is.

“A/N. That wall next to the cables,” he pointed at the far left corner of the area, “find a way to break it down without too much damage.”

You looked over at where he pointed.

It matched up with the words on the brief, there was a room on the other side that was so well-hidden it was nearly impossible to get in traditionally.

“Didn’t Viper say that there shouldn’t be any damage?”

He took out a flash drive, inserting it into the computer and turning it on. It allowed Cypher access to exactly what he wanted, and you could tell he immediately got to deleting by the command prompt that popped up.

“That was a recommendation.”

Right. 

You turned and stopped in front of the wall, held out your hand and worked on only emerging a small part of your hand. Most importantly, your pinky finger, so that it doesn’t take much room. Your eyes were stuck on the ground and you watched it diligently, waiting to detect any shadow that was out of place.

And as you worked, a tiny portion of your mind wandered elsewhere.

You could see why Viper picked this mission for you. All you had to do was take away any proof that radianite exists in this area, and you’re gone. Nothing too heavy, and perfect enough for you to comprehend what was to come. Even Yoru looked bored out of his mind as he worked.

Clearly, what he was used to was so much worse. Duh. He proudly showcased his previously mangled neck to you a few days ago.

But unlike him, you felt excited. This was the perfect way to ease you into things.

The air then stopped.

With a loud bang, an invisible force smashed against a portion of the concrete wall, breaking down an entrance. It was barely wide and tall enough to fit you. Without words, you knew Yoru would give you a dirty look, wouldn’t he? But then again, you also thought he’d be savagely breaking his way in, so.

You gently twisted your hand, and more of the wall came tumbling down, large chunks of it piling on to the ground alongside the debris that scattered like scared fish. You successfully formed an ‘elegant’ entrance enough to fit either of you, but not too big to break down the roof on top of you.

Perfect.

“Hoy, I’m going in!”

You called out, earning a hum from him. And with that, you entered, taking in the more crowded area.

Boxes were scattered everywhere, and so were the cables. Blueprints, paperwork, drawers upon drawers, all of it added on to the messy look of the room. Clearly, this area carried the most confidential data. You observed the contents for a few seconds, perking up at the sight of another computer.

Bingo.

Taking out your own gadget, you plugged it in and turned it on, watching as the flash drive worked to infiltrate whatever was within. Scanning, taking in the information, isolating what was important, then swiping it. Judging by the fact it took three minutes to even get to one percent, you were sure it would take a while.

You took a step back with a sigh, setting down your weapon on the massive mouse pad and looking around. 

A thump from above made you jump, and on instinct, you immediately looked up. Your vision proved to be useless, but your other senses weren’t. Your palpitations increased exponentially once another thump echoed throughout. Then, a set of noises that you could make out as footsteps.

Multiple. 

“Yoru, I– uh, I think there’s people here.”

“There aren’t. They don’t have any data about this place.”

You snatched your gun and took a step back, sweat dripping down your chin.

“I don’t think it’s the mirrors– I don’t know, but there’s someone here! Don’t you hear them?”

You could barely hear a distant sigh. Then, loud contortion, and a tinge of blue that softly illuminated the ground.

Crap. 

“Hide. Make sure nobody sees you. I’ll take care of it.”

“Don’t leave me again!”

The blue grew stronger, and even his voice was slightly altered as he stepped into the rift.

“Relax, you can hold out until the files are wiped.”

You couldn’t. That’s what you wanted to say. But the blue was promptly swallowed up and thus, it finalised Yoru’s journey into the other dimension. 

You jumped and moved away further, your back pressing up against the wall with the Bulldog in your hand. Instead of holding it like a weapon, you resorted to hugging it for comfort. With every drop of adrenaline that filled your veins, everything Harbour taught you further dissipated. Hot flashes on your neck, your eyes darting to every section of the roof with each noise; you weren’t ready.

Nobody was supposed to be here.

You took a deep breath, muttering a few repetitive phrases in Tagalog in an attempt to reassure yourself. You’ll be fine, right? You will be. Even the brief stated that your partner will take care of everything over your head. All you have to do is wait. Besides, how couldn’t you trust Yoru? His actions spoke louder than anything else, and you knew that he’d protect–

You jumped once the elevators let out a loud ding, the doors sliding open and allowing the light to accentuate two looming silhouettes. Neither of them sported any features that reminded you of Yoru. Not their hair, not the spikes, nothing.

You’ll be fine, you thought, desperate for any hint of reassurance.

You silently moved towards a pitch black area, everything obscured by the shadows, only interrupted by a single radianite crate that sat inconspicuously right across from the computer. Then, you hid behind it.

“Look, look, there’s a hole here!”

A feminine voice called out. And just from the accent, the slight gruffness of it, you knew it was Raze. Her partner said something else, but your mind hyper focused on the nearing footsteps, your clammy hand tightly clutching your weapon.

Then, she stopped, taking a deep breath.

“Do you… Do you smell that?”

Their partner walked in, their tall silhouette growing more visible from where you hid with each step.

“Guns up.”

Your breathing hitched, and you pushed yourself further onto the wall, relying on the crate to protect you. You hadn’t noticed it, but your right hand was seeping a dangerous amount of poison.

“The computer, it’s on! Wait, let me get a closer look.”

“Raze, be careful. I’ll cover you.”

She rushed up to the computer and immediately set down her Vandal, reading what was on the screen. After almost twenty minutes, it had only gotten up to ten percent. Then she tugged on her colourful hat in irritation.

“Bah, eu não posso trabalhar com esse cheiro estúpido,” <Bah, I can't work with this stupid smell,>‎ 

God, you couldn’t focus.

There was this horrible stinging in your chest, and you couldn’t breathe properly no matter how much you tried. Thoughts of your incoming death warped your frame of mind, and with each passing second, you were more and more convinced that this is it.

You were going to die.

Despite the anguish, you worked to fix your posture and aim at Raze’s head, struggling to keep a steady hold with how horrible you felt. Finger on the trigger, just one push, and she’d die before you could.

“GET DOWN!”

One called out, before loud gunfire rang out from far away, coupled with a deafening string of vivid distortion. Though you pulled the trigger, Raze already had her gun in her hand and rushed across the room, unable to hear or see you from the ruckus outside.

Then, the radio cracked in your ear, wincing under the loud gunshots that whizzed by Yoru’s cheek.

“A/N, hide until the transfer’s done, I have this under control.”

You wanted to speak. You wanted to respond. You wanted to say something, anything. But you couldn’t bring yourself to move. Under the command of your primal instincts, you pushed yourself against the wall once more, staring at the ground in shock.

All you could hear were your palpitations, and your other senses were clogged up by way more than you could possibly process.

Yoru, on the other hand, was aggravated by the situation.

They ensured that the mirrors had no idea about this place’s existence. Hell, the entire reason you even came here was to take away anything that they could go off of. Yet, here they were, and he knew you couldn’t do anything. In this situation, you were useless, he thought, shoving his hand into the rift and taking out a flash.

With Sova blinded, he peeked just enough to be able to gun him down, yet remained concealed from Raze’s shots. Fatuous, they only dug through the pillar he hid behind.

They were to be killed under Brimstone’s orders.

Then, with another flash, he peeked, eyes widening once he saw her rush towards the area you were hiding in. Damn it.

Yoru stepped out, gun in hand, rapidly thinking of a way to get her out and keep you concealed. But Raze had a different idea. It didn’t matter if she was going to die, all she needed to do was stop the files from being deleted.

He stopped the moment he heard a number of familiar beeping, ones you didn’t recognise. All without exposing herself, her bright orange bomb was promptly rolled towards the computer, ticking down. Yoru’s eyes widened.

Then, the air stopped.

❤ฺ·。

The process was interrupted. But it wasn’t yours, it was the computer he had been working on, now completely destroyed. Now, they relied on knowing where your progress had stopped. It’s not like it was an easy thing to find out either, not when the entire area you were hiding in had been completely engulfed in piles upon piles of concrete.

Yoru coughed and waved the debris away, taking a few steps back to breathe properly. And there, he could see that the floor above had tumbled down on where you were. 

For the first time, he panicked.

“A/N– A/N, where are you?!”

He immediately called out, tucking away his Sheriff and approaching the dilapidated section you were in. Yoru prayed that you weren’t dead. But your lack of response made that contingency highly possible.

“A/N!”

No response. No time to waste, either. He quickly got to work on getting to where he knew you were. Forced to follow the strong unpleasant scent he really wanted to get away from, he had to find you.

Yoru couldn’t find a way to get through the stacks of concrete. The idea to simply go to the floor above you and jump down popped up in his mind, but then, how would he make it back out? He couldn’t get you through the teleporter.

Then, he found a small opening around the constricted corner, immediately slipping a teleport through and allowing it to make its way inside. 

He promptly tore through the rift and stepped back just in case anything would fall through. But thankfully, nothing did, and from what he could see, it was safe enough for him to step through.

And step through he did, the entrance sewing itself shut from behind as he observed the area from the other side. To his left was a pool of blood that increased by the second. He was surprised, but…

“A/N, where the hell are you?!”

He exclaimed and took out his gun, immediately looking around just in case it was Raze who made it. Stepping through the boxes, he found the computer sitting just across from him, the screen glowing a blinding shade of white. And next to it was…

You. 

Curled up into a ball, hugging your knees, eyes wide open and locked on the ground.

He hid his weapon and approached you, taking a deep breath. Yoru made no attempt to hide his annoyance as he looked down on you, waiting for you to stand up at the sight of him.

“Let’s go, they’re both dead. Are the files gone?”

Then, he looked back at the screen, noticing that the percentage had jumped up to ninety percent in forty minutes. But there was naught of an answer from you. Yoru, concerned, met your gaze. But you still didn’t look back at him.

“Hey, you there?”

…

Nothing.

He moved in front of you and got on one knee. But even then, your eyes were locked on the ground, as if you didn’t acknowledge he was there. Only now did he notice that you were shaking violently, coupled with your extremely inconsistent breathing. It bordered on hyperventilation, but you’d suddenly hold your breath for way too long. No, it’s not that you didn’t acknowledge his presence, you just didn’t see him.

Yoru’s gaze softened, and so did his posture. He could feel your alarmingly high palpitations just from getting near you.

“Can you hear me?”

It took you a second to even notice what looked like a massive lump of blue in front of you, the various shades and intricate details of it too overwhelming to comprehend.

You stared at him for a few seconds, liquid dripping down your right hand. Being so close to you, the poison’s effects on him made him both dizzy and despondent, but he knew he couldn’t leave you like this.

“I– I think I’m-” you gasped, “I’m dying, I’m dying– I, I think–”

“Hey, it’s fine, they’re gone. You’re safe.”

“I’m dying, I’m dying, Yoru, I’m–” you shook your head, struggling to breathe, “I’m going to die,”

“I’m with you. It’s okay.”

It’s not like it’s anything new. Yoru saw you panic before. Multiple times. But this wasn’t you mumbling while clutching your temples like you usually did, no. This was different. 

You met his gaze, taking note of his tone. You didn’t know what it was, but there was an unfamiliar air of benevolence that threatened to extinguish your panic.

“A– are we– are we going to die? Are we going to die?”

He shook his head, slow enough for you to grasp what he meant.

“No, we’re safe.”

“Are we going to die?”

“No.”

You huffed, taking in a sudden gust of air. So sudden, it felt like an ice cold knife plunged your lungs.

“I, I can’t, I can’t– my arms, I– I can’t feel the– I can’t feel my arms.”

Yoru stared at you for a few seconds. Then, your hands, the clear poison allowing it to glimmer as it dripped down to the already soaked ground. He hesitated.

“If you want, I can hold them.”

…

You nodded repetitively, even after his fingers slowly intertwined with yours. Now, with his touch, you could finally feel the hands that were attached to you, and it helped ground you back to reality. Of course, it still wasn’t enough to take the horrifying sense of doom away. That, and the terrible heaviness in your chest.

It felt like you were having a heart attack. But for some reason, you just couldn’t muster up the words to tell him what was happening, not when your mind repeated only a select few phrases and focused on death so much.

“Are we going to die?”

“No, no. We’re fine.”

You stared at him for a few seconds, before turning your gaze back to the coarse ground. It felt like your eyes were about to pop out of your skull with how wide you had your lids open.

“Take a deep breath, okay? I’ll help you.”

You nodded and met his gaze, sweat dripping down your chin. Yoru, seeing this, wasted no time. He took a deep, slow breath, and you watched him diligently, like an oncoming explosion.

“One,”

Then, Yoru exhaled slowly,

“Two. Like that. Now, follow me,”

Just as Yoru repeated the first step, you followed along, taking a deep and shaky breath, one that stopped halfway through.

“One,”

He then exhaled. But this time, your breathing was only slightly more consistent, but the panic that stabbed at you like demons made it all the more difficult to focus on him.

“Two. Again, okay?”

You nodded, tightly clutching his hand in an effort to distract yourself from the situation. Though he winced at the strength of your hold, he didn’t let it derail from what the main objective was. Not the firm embrace, not the harrowing scent that sent a painful sensation across his head.

Coupled with how close he was, the discomfort only grew.

Both of you repeated the process. And since you were incredibly focused on getting your breathing back in order, with his help, you managed to gain a small amount of your rationality back; enough to remember that you were on a mission. You remembered panicking at the sight of Raze’s bomb. And with one swipe, it all came tumbling down.

“Yoru, I–”

You turned your gaze elsewhere, dread still bleeding into your voice.

“Can we… Can we leave? I– I can’t stay here anymore.”

He stared at you for a moment. Then, the computer, noting the progress. Ninety five percent.

…

“Sure. Let’s go.”

He helped you stand up and turned to the pile of cement, already forming a plan on how to clear a way for you.

[jungkookslipring]

“I Can’t Sleep”

TW: mentions of depression, anxiety, drinking, and insomnia, read at your own risk.

AN: this was what I went through my senior year of college.

It was understandable what you were going through, it just sucked. You were in your fourth and final year of college, graduation was 2 months away, you were taking way too many credits even though your advisor told you not to. You would just rather take the remaining credits spring quarter because you knew you did not have the energy to take 5 credits for 6 weeks in June and July. In a way, you did this to yourself, but you didn’t realize how hard it would be, and you didn’t realize the toll it would have on your body.

This crazy schedule started affecting your health. It started off with not getting enough sleep, maybe 6 hours, then it dropped to 5, then it dropped to 4, and you were LUCKY if you got 4 hours of sleep. Soon, you were pulling all nighters, some nights by choice, some not. There was nothing a coffee or two couldn’t fix. Then you went from having one to two cups of coffee a day to three, sometimes throwing in a redbull in the mix. It didn’t help that you also drank to cope with stress, so mixing all these drinks in the span of 12 hours definitely didn’t do you any favors. Not to mention you had anxiety and depression. It was just a cluster fuck.

It got so bad to where you started experiencing sleep paralysis and occasionally waking up having panic attacks, even when you were half asleep. It was hell. Your senior year was complete hell. You had no desire to keep pursuing school even though graduation was just around the corner.

It was hard to open up to the guys about it. They had their own problems, and you didn’t want to burden them. Chan was the one with insomnia so you especially didn’t want to whine to him about your lack of sleep.

One night, you woke up having yet another panic attack. You got on your knees as you gripped your pillow and your chest. You took in sharp inhales, desperately trying to get air into your lungs. This was the 3rd night in a row you woke up sometime in the middle of the night, completely disoriented and not being able to breathe. It hurt your chest as you did everything in your power to get the oxygen flowing. After a solid maybe 30 seconds which always felt like hours, you were able to get your breathing somewhat regulated. You took in deep breaths as you placed a hand over your heart. How much longer did you have to go through this? What if this is permanent? You’ve never gone a year in your life without education. What if when you graduate you’ll continue waking up panicking from all the stress? You were pulled out of your thoughts when there was a quiet knock at the door. You looked at your clock and saw it was 3 am.

Great, I woke up one of the guys, you huffed to yourself.

You got out of bed and walked over to your door. When you opened it, there stood Bang Chan, who had concern written all over his face. Guilt swirled in your chest realizing you probably woke him up, the one and only time he was going to sleep. You started apologizing at mach 20.

“I’m so sorry if I woke you up I’m really s-” you rambled before he gently cut you off.

“Woah woah woah slow down you didn’t wake me up, I just got home,” he said pointing to his laptop that was still hanging on his shoulder. Relief warmed your chest but unfortunately sprung tears to your eyes. Bang Chan’s eyes widened as he set down his lap top, never breaking eye contact.

“Hey hey what wrong bug?” he asked as he put a comforting hand on your shoulder. You covered your eyes as you bit your lip, attempting to swallow the sob that was making its way up your throat.

“We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, I just heard a slight bit of commotion in your room and wanted to check in on you,” he said gently. You couldn’t keep your emotions at bay as a sob ripped out of your throat. Bang Chan pulled you into his arms as he walked you further into your room and closed your door. You buried your face in his shoulders as your body wracked with sobs, releasing the built up tension from the past few months.

“I’m here y/n, I’m right here,” he whispers into you ear as you hiccuped in his hold.

His fingers slide up and down the back of your neck softly as he rubbed the small of your back with his thumb. You continued to cry as Chan held you in his arms, alternating between rubbing your back and neck, while at the same time dropping small kisses on the side of your temple.

“I don’t think I’m okay Channie…” you whimpered. Bang Chan continued with his actions as he let you spill your heart out.

“I haven’t been able to sleep well and I k-keep waking up having p-anic attacks and I- I’m so t-tired and I’m s-scared its always gonna b-be this way and I d-don’t know what to do,” you wailed as your grip on his sweatshirt tightened.

“Shhh shhh shhh breathe sweet girl, breathe for me,” he said gently. He took one of your hands and placed it on his heart. He kept his own hand over yours and used his other hand to cradle the back of your head. He guided you through breathing exercises until yor heartbeat was regular again. You were so exhausted. He continued to hold you securly in his arms, gently swaying you back and forth. You were beyond lucky to have him and the rest of the guys. Without stopping his actions, he began to speak again.

“Do you think you’ll be able to go back to sleep? I can stay with you if you’d like,” he suggested. You decided to let go of your pride and nod. He kissed your forehead before leading you to your bed. He took off his hat, placing it on your nightstand, and helped you get under the covers. He opened his arms as you snuggled right into his chest. His hand made its way into your hair as he threaded his fingers from the base to the ends. The soft touches were lulling you to sleep, and before you could slip into dreamland, Chan began to speak.

“We don’t have to talk about it now, but if you ever need to, I’ll always be here, we all will, I promise,” he whispered before leaning down to kiss your cheek. You smile and bury yourself even deeper in his chest.

“Thank you Channie,” you croak out. He held you close to him, continuing to play with your hair. After some time, you were able to fall asleep, and not too long after, Channie did the same.

[child-of-peace]

I’m trying to figure out the timeline of Headless and this is what I have so far:

We know for a fact that Ichabod’s court session was on a Monday, so we’ll centre it on that: Episode 5 takes place on a Monday and will be our touchstone. So looking at the earlier episodes, Episode 4 must take place on Sunday. The episode exists in a single day and towards the end of it, Ichabod gets a reminder that he would be in court the next day.

Episode 3 is a little more uncertain. I think it must start before Saturday (it spans two days and given Douffé gets stabbed, there was definitely at least a day before Ichabod turned up at the drugstore on Sunday) so maybe it’s Friday-Saturday. Episode 2 has Ichabod and Brom teaching, so is definitively a school day, so I’d reckon it’s most likely Thursday, but it could also be Wednesday. As for Episode 1, Ichabod said in Episode 5 that he’d been in Sleepy Hollow for less than a week, so the earliest day he could have moved there was Tuesday. (Again, it could also be Wednesday.)

Now for the episodes after Episode 5, Episode 6 must take place on Tuesday. Kat asks Ichabod after his court session to dinner with her dad the next day.

Episode 7 starts on Tuesday late evening, but it spans three days. At no point does it definitively say that the next part happens the following day, though given their rush and the likelihood of Ichabod having studied Elizabeth Van Tassel’s diary Tuesday night/Wednesday morning, it would be safe to assume that the next part takes place on Wednesday. Except, Brom, in Episode 9, says that Ichabod started his community service on 7th October, which, in 2022, was a Friday.

There are three possible explanations for this. 1) Brom is just wrong - given that Brom says their google calendars are linked and Ichabod doesn’t have a google calendar, Brom may have been confused. 2) This show does not take place in 2022 - I thought it was, but now I’m not entirely sure. The last time 7th October was on a Wednesday was in 2020. 3) It is a Friday, and it took them a couple of days after Tuesday to figure out the matching symbols in Anneke’ and Davy “Gravy” Jones’ books.

So, for the sake of this, I’m going to go with Option 1: Part 2 of Episode 7 takes place on Wednesday. Part 3 of Episode 7, therefore, takes place on Thursday. Brom says he’ll go ask Lucretia to see the basement and we’re told that happens the next day.

That means Episode 8 also takes place on Thursday. Lucretia says to Brom that she has a wedding that very day and that’s when the heist happens.

If Episode 8 is Thursday, Episode 9 must be Friday. Each head only lasts 24 hours and Paulie is still active. It must start in the late morning/early afternoon, since the gang starts off in jail and then, an hour later, Paulie shows up and his head promptly dissolves naturally.

This means that the gang were in jail for at least 10 hours - the heist canonically took 15 minutes on Thursday afternoon/early evening. And finally, Episode 10. The start of this episode would take place on Friday evening (or Sunday evening if we went with Option 3). Kat tells them after the jailbreak to head to her house later that evening for “the world’s weirdest scavenger hunt”.

We know when midnight hits as that is definitively stated, so we know it filters over into Saturday (or Monday), and the gang walk around with Henrietta in the early hours of Saturday morning.

Also, I don’t know how American school terms work, but I’m assuming that Episode 5-10 take place during half term (I think the American equivalent is semester break?), since Ichabod and Brom don’t seem to spend any time in school. Half term for us is typically the last week of October, but I’m not sure how semester break works (I did try to look it up, but couldn’t find anything) so could it be early October?

Me, writing this post:

Anyway, what do other people think? Have I missed anything obvious?

To simplify it:

Tuesday - 1️⃣

Thursday - 2️⃣

Friday - 3️⃣

Saturday - 3️⃣

Sunday - 4️⃣

Monday - 5️⃣

Tuesday - 6️⃣7️⃣

Wednesday - 7️⃣

Thursday - 7️⃣8️⃣

Friday - 9️⃣🔟

Saturday - 🔟

[tteokdoroki]

how long does it take you to make those banners

i make pretty much everything from scratch, so id say anywhere between 4-6 hours!! obviously not in one go, but like over the span of a couple days. the yuuta one took me like 2 days ??

im super particular with positioning, colouring and like making everything look like the real deal, so it does take me a while but it’s so much fun idk !!

[homemadefactory-1993]

Today will be the first day in me getting my life back together. For nearly 6 years, I was on antidepressants due to difficulty with transitioning from active duty to the civilian sector. I joined the National Guard in hopes of a better opportunity, and getting something better than the leadership I was dealt by others. I had a lot of personal demons and never found full satisfaction in life. Eventually, after a attempt on my own life, I was voluntarily sent to a psychiatric facility. There, I got my first prescription antidepressant that actually seem to make a difference. A while the effects were generally positive at first, the reality eventually took hold. Eventually things got worse, due to my own poor choices and inability to go forward.

I was prescribed an antipsychotic, that basically made me emotionally numb and gain roughly 20 pounds over a couple of years. Eventually, I was medically retired from military service. Which gave me much needed money, due to my depression basically ruining my opportunities for a job or motivation to find one. I eventually got my first full-time job that assisted me greatly, but I hated the customers and the lack of enthusiasm from leadership above.

One day, I was sent back to the storage unit that only employees go into. After a half hour discussion, I was terminated from my position due to violating company policy over questionable circumstances given by them. I lost all of my money, basically being unemployed. Eventually I found a new job in a different field all together, and I seem to be arguably very efficient at my job as told to me by my coworkers and fellow supervisors. I went back to school during this time, while the first instance didn't work out so well. The second one pretty much made me come to the realization with a lot of things.

Eventually I took a break, and went overseas to meet a special someone. It really gave me motivation but then, things didn't go as planned with school. Eventually I was dismissed from that program, and then joined a new program all together where I was on my way to become valedictorian of my class in some way. During February of 2023, I got the approval from my psychiatrist to get off the antidepressants all together, over the span of a year or so finally trying to get off of this stuff.

I felt very proud of myself, and I definitely felt the weight come off of me literally. As I lost nearly 5 lb in 2 weeks after getting off that stuff. While completing the second semester of my program, I got a phone call from a potential employer which I took immediately. As I was fed up with the uncertainty of the my current employer, and leadership basically ignoring me altogether. The school that I finished my second semester with left an open door for me, as they were on good terms with me overall and I never started anything like some other students. Then I started my current position at this agency.

It is arguably the most fulfilled I have ever felt at any job, but the training took a while to get to as it is standard with this position. I definitely see my ups and downs, but I definitely feel satisfied overall. I decided to get myself better altogether despite some of the gripes I feel from employment. I want to improve myself, and get back to a weight that I am satisfied with. Along with brushing off my native tongue, and learning the language of my eventual spouse.

I did not do much anything on New Year's Eve or today at all. But, I definitely feel a lot more prepared for the world, and its challenges. I and definitely going to take myself in the right direction, and use all the knowledge and experience I have acquired in life for the betterment of myself and those I care about.

Wish me luck everyone, as I finally take total control and lead the example that I want others to follow.

[inkofamethyst]

December 4, 2023

The difference in animation between s1/2 and s3 of BTAS is STARKKKKK. I did some research and found out that the purpose was to make it match the Superman style with the network change. It doesn't have that cozy-vintage hand-drawn feel anymore :/ (idc abt consistency I care abt VIBES) It's definitely.. sleeker..? Newer. Less curvy. Reminds me of the more modern DCAU shows. We'll see if the writing holds up.

I spent the last four weeks trying to finesse my way out of taking my own measurements for a final project. Several morphologists over the years have taken the exact measurements I wanted on hundreds of samples, and I spent hours and hours and hours looking for their raw datasets, but they published averages which I could not use. So I had to set up time to take the measurements myself.

Today I spent two and a half hours in the museum collections.

The main reason I resisted this part was because there were certainly better uses of my time. In the span of two hours while I took photos and measurements (plus the time I'll need to spend taking digital measurements) on just twenty specimens, I could've worked a lot more on performing really good descriptive stats or getting into the nitty-gritty of the genetics part of this project.

While all of that is true, for some reason it surprises me that I enjoyed my time deep in the collections. (For context, the whole reason I'm doing this program is because I fell in love with measuring stuff. The repetitiveness is seriously so calming. I should not have been surprised that this would've been my kind of "fun".)

There are deer heads on the walls and the musty smell of old bones. An elephant femur is hanging out nearby. It's kind of like a library for bones, really. Every surface is padded. I had a (loaned) key to get into any locker I wanted. I felt like a real morphologist for the first time today.

There's a museum near me that should be starting up a program for volunteers to do behind the scenes kind of stuff this spring. Almost definitely going to check that out.

Today I'm thankful that the lab practical should actually not be all that dreadful. I've memorized mostly everything over the course of a couple of days. We'll see though, I guess.

aaaaaaaa now to make a progress presentation in one night aaaaaa (it's planned out generally which helps (and also it's pretty short) but if I'd been smart I would've been making/collecting figures as I went along.. alas.)

[edit, 1:30ish am: progress is being made uhm but very little has been added to the presentation itself. tomorrow will not be a difficult day after that morning presentation, so I could stay up real late and nap real hard tmr then study for the practical a bit]

[edit 2: I ended up working until 6:30 am (but you know how you get slower and slower through an all nighter?), took a nap, actually woke up fairly refreshed, and presented (the part I kind of threw together in half an hour at the end of the session was the exact part my prof picked up on as being half baked lol they don't pay him the big bucks for nothing)]

[wispstalk]

completely unintentionally I filled the last page of a sketchbook on the 6-year anniversary of the day I started it. in the corner of the first page I wrote 10/26/16 to see how long it would take to fill. back then I had a night shift job with hours of downtime and I was drawing almost every day (well...night). about halfway through the book, I quit that job. It became harder to find time to draw, and when I did bother, it just depressed me. I had plenty of Other Things going on, and didn't tear myself up over it, but over the span of five years I only filled maybe 10 pages and finished 2 pieces.

then, during a long and difficult winter with post-covid symptoms that took away a big chunk of those Other Things, I just started... making stuff again. out of the blue. because i suddenly had nothing but time on my hands, and something about a 16-year-old video game possessed me like a demon, and it was liberating to be creative without having to dredge everything up out of my own brain. So it was a nice feeling to fill in that final page, flip back and do a double-take at my starting date, and realize I'm holding hard evidence that no matter how long I stay away from art, it's always there waiting when I'm ready.

[masterwords]

✨ 2022 Writing Year In Review ✨

Many thanks to @spencer-reids-adventures and @domestikhighway58 for tagging me here. <3 Pretend I'm doing this on time...I spent ALL DAY yesterday at a children's wrestling tournament (seriously, 10 hours in a high school gym with hundreds of people...I can feel all the germs invading my body as we speak) so I didn't have the lifeforce remaining to use my brain. (This got long so I put most of it under a cut.)

1. Number of stories posted to AO3: 85! Holy moly.

2. Word count posted for the year: 470,122

3. Fandoms I wrote for: Criminal Minds, The Punisher (sort of...I shipped Frank Castle with Hotch so...) & Fargo

4. Pairings: AHAHAAA! Oh. Okay. Hotch/Morgan. .... ......... I did write a small amount of Hotch/Blackwolf, Hotch/Will and Hotch/Reid. But let's be real here. I am an OTP girl and Hotch & Morgan are married in my mind.

5. Story with the most:

Kudos: Catching Sparks

Bookmarks: missing pieces of sleep, but a close second and non-collab was Catching Sparks.

Comments: missing pieces of sleep, but a close second and non-collab was Running Toward Nothing.

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why):

Probably Running Toward Nothing, because it was hard for me to finish. It took so many twists and turns, and I didn't plan it out well enough (story of my life)...it was written for a challenge, and it was not at all what I imagined it would be when I started. But I also wound up really loving it by the end.

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why):

Cold Hands. Hotch/Reid isn't my ship already and I just felt very...like I could have done better. I don't dislike the story but I don't feel very proud of it either.

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

By far, my favorite was @olivinesea putting me in jail repeatedly for The Silence Drowns (a different take on the Foyet arc).

9. A time when writing was really, really hard:

May/June/July. Something about that 3 month span, my kids in baseball, I don't know. I couldn't write shit and it was stressing me out. Thankfully it came back to me eventually.

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: 

Writing Foyet the way I did in The Silence Drowns was really an experience, focusing so hard on his POV, devoting entire chapters to how he did what he did and what he did when we didn't see him...that was really fun. And flipping the switch on Reid and turning him into the antagonist while also royally fucking up his life in Running Toward Nothing was interesting too.

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

He moved slow, still half-asleep. One rrrrrrip and he tore into the tissue to reveal a soft blanket. Too soft. Velvety, thick, plush. He couldn't make out the strange array of colors and buried his fist inside of it in order to pull it out. The bag and tissue paper were quickly discarded, and Derek reached out to grab the bottom two corners, helping move this along faster. He really had to go. Quickly, he splayed the blanket out over the bed. It was huge and almost impossible in the dark and from Hotch's angle to make out the pattern at first.

Derek grinned proudly the moment he caught the realization on Hotch's stiff features. “Is that...your face?”

“Sure is,” Derek announced, pushing the tissue paper back into the bag and tossing it aside. “So you won't forget me while I'm gone.”

Hotch raised an eyebrow. “Do you think that's likely to happen?” He had abdominal surgery, not brain surgery. He'd been trying to be gentle with Derek since it happened, the man was pulling double duty as Unit Chief and primary caregiver, burning the candle at both ends. In some ways, Hotch was glad they had a case that would take him out of town, maybe he'd get a break. He could focus entirely on the job and not worry about how Hotch was going to get from the bed to the toilet and back at 3am. Having the catheter had removed the need for that step but it was fleeting. He was on his own now. He was also doing just fine, he thought. No falls, a couple of near misses but he'd caught himself each time.

“Do you like it?”

“I love it,” Hotch replied quietly, smoothing it beneath slow hands. He was losing the battle with his tired body. “It's beautiful.” It was. In that way that heartfelt things often were, their beauty didn't lie in aesthetics. He wouldn't put this blanket on display in the front room, perhaps, but he adored it nonetheless. "It'll keep me warm as I convalesce." He'd been using that word a lot in the last few days, Derek noted. It was his boredom talking, finding ways to make light of his situation in order to soften the blow that he could barely manage a walk from his bed to the kitchen without being significantly winded and ready for a nap. He'd been refining new jokes, mostly biting sarcasm that came out a little slow but didn't sting any less. Jess was the recipient more often than Derek, being around more. He'd dare her to steal the blanket, just to see, but he was pretty sure she wasn't going to try it. Not with Derek's enormous face right there. Derek managed to create the one thing she'd stay far away from. She was probably going to call it creepy.

“As you convalesce, huh?"

Hotch nodded and smiled, smoothing his hands over the soft fabric. He was so out of it. Derek didn't mind. He was struggling with this slower lifestyle, something he'd be at for the next few weeks. A few more days and the staples could come out, after that he thought things would get better. Maybe speed up a bit. Slowing down wasn't in the Hotch playbook of life, but he was dealing.

From Convalesce

12. How did you grow as a writer this year: 

I'm not sure I did until the end when I realized I didn't need to over-think editing quite so much, and I should really just have fun. I spent most of the year stressing out over it and not enjoying it as much as usual. No more of that. I also decided that I don't mind so much being a one trick pony. I want to write about Hotch/Morgan more than anything else and I gave myself permission to just indulge it as often as I felt like it.

13. How do you hope to grow next year:

I hope to detach my worth as a writer from the interaction I receive. I do my best to maintain that mindset, and I hope to settle in better with it.

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc): 

I mean, I probably should just simplify this and say it was Hotch & Morgan, really. Nearly everything I wrote this year centered around those two so I think I would be remiss not to acknowledge them as the muses they are. All of my friends, all of you incredible amazing writers I am fortunate enough to consider my friends...you have all influenced me positively. I can never thank you enough.

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

Uh..hahaha! Yeah. I included lots of sports dad/coach moments, a lot of Jack because of my kids, you know...that kind of thing. Nothing huge...but this? Yeah. My life.

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

You can focus less on editing. Don't edit at the expense of posting your stories, yo. Don't overthink it.

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

I'm looking forward to actually finishing a bunch of these multi-chapter stories that I've been dragging out forever. Writing more with @domestikhighway58 on our Hotch/Reid story, diving in to the SWAT and retired in Chicago series more...so much.

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read.

@eldrai @olivinesea and anyone else who really wants to fill this out!

[emotionallydrainedtrash]

Can I request a fluffy Joe Mazzello x fem. reader onshot where Joe surprises reader with a trip to the beach and while there, Joe has another surprise for reader? He proposes in a sweet and romantic way! ❤️

A/N Omg yes! Once again, I’m so sorry about the wait😭. I have the attention span of a goldfish istg. Here we go!

Love Of My Life

Masterlist

Joe Mazzello x fem! reader.

Warnings: FLUFFF. Marriage proposal.

"I'm not complaining in any way but what gave you the idea to wake me up at 6'oclock in the morning to take me down to the beach?"

You stared at your boyfriend as he focused on the road. You'd been driving for 2 hours and it was coming up 8:30am. Joe had gently shaken you awake three hours before your alarm would've and told you to get ready for a road trip.

You'd sat up with bleary eyes to ask him where you were going and nearly pounced him when he replied with, "the beach." You loved the beach and he knew it, this knowledge allowing him to be able to pack your bags for you while you slept. After showering together, you'd eaten breakfast and then loaded your luggage into the car before taking off.

You currently sat shotgun with Master of Puppets blaring from the radio as you speed down the highway, awaiting the answer to your question. Joe shrugged before replying.

"I know you've been stressed out with work lately and we haven't been able to spend a whole lot of time together cause I've been away filming so I thought it might be nice for us to have a little getaway."

You were very satisfied with that answer and proceeded to play air guitar to yourself while Joe was inwardly much more panicked. While that was true, there was one crucial part he'd left out. A velvet ring box was currently tucked away in a hidden pocket and burning a hole through the bottom of his suitcase. As you continued to dance in your seat, oblivious to your boyfriend's internal crisis, you were also unaware of a certain Malek's car trailing a couple behind your own.

You laughed and pulled Joe yelling down onto the sand with you. He braced his arms by your head to stop himself before he fell on top of you. His big, brown eyes zeroed in adoringly on yours and all you could see in them was endless, genuine love and... a hint of nervousness? You sat up and cradled his face in your hands.

"Joe, baby, you look worried. Is everything okay?"

He stood up and held out a hand for you. You followed him as he moved the two of you to a picnic blanket covered in rose petals and a bottle of champagne in the corner. The sun was beginning to set, shrouding the world in a pink and gold haze. Joe stared into the distance off to the side of your head. He nodded, seemingly to himself and turned his attention back to you.

"I'm okay babe."

He took a deep breath and held your hands in his.

"Y/n. I have known you for 20 incredible years but it feels like I've known you my whole life. You're my other half, my best friend, my soulmate, although you'll have to fight Rami and Ben for those titles."

You giggled, eyes shining with anticipation. Joe continued.

"The day I met you would turn out to be the greatest day of my life, until the day I finally asked you to be mine. But now I'm hoping today will become the new greatest day of my life when I ask you to be mine forever. You make my life worth living and I don't want to live it without you. So, Y/n M/n L/n."

He got down on one knee and you gasped as he pulled the ring box out of his pocket and opened it to reveal the most beautiful ring you'd seen in your life.

"My beautiful, darling girl, will you do me the greatest honor of my life, and marry me?"

You nodded fiercely, too overwhelmed with love and emotion to speak.

"Yes? Really?"

"Yes! A million time over, yes! Yes I will marry you Joseph Francis Mazzello III."

Joe slid the ring on your finger and spun you around, laughing at the use of his full name and crying tears of pure, unadulterated joy. Through your tears you had failed to notice the slight flashing of a camera to your far left. Rami was crouched in the bushes with a Nikon and had been taking pictures the whole time.

What you thought had been a distracted gaze and self-assuring nod from your fiancé was actually a signal to his best friend to channel his inner paparazzi. You grinned at Rami and gave him a wave, still crying but the happiest you'd ever been. You would be marrying the love of your life soon. He kissed you once again and whispered his I love you's over and over like a mantra in your ear.

Best beach trip ever.

- Sarah💛

[ajaxhearts]

chapters, c. tartaglia

what's up bestays !!!!!! so i'm posting this because i had a little out-of-the-blue-writing-sesh at 3 in the morning since i was bored. i was so tired i couldnt bare another page saurrrr.... ANYWAYZ! hope you enjoy, love u guys <3

----------------------------------------------

Chapter 1 Page 1: Without A Crush

Hellaur, it’s me. Writing this again… 

Day idontevenwannaknowanymore without a crush, and boy it still is as boring as it was before. Sure I have some fun occasionally, but that’s only when I’m doing random stuff or if I’m out with my friends. Besides that, basically my life is boring. All my friends seem to have someone they admire or like. Makes me feel like I’m the boring one in my group. Anyway, I hope someday I’ll find someone like that.

Signed, Y/N.

-

Chapter 1 Page 2: Cutie?

Hi, BIG NEWS!

OMG! I'm finally in the Fatui Harbingers.. took me way too long and a lot of effort.. BUT BESIDES THAT, I saw someone at HQ and he was admittedly, kinda handsome.

I never paid much attention to this guy but after I focused on him for like, a few seconds; I realized how this guy was sorta attractive… in a sense. BUT! I wouldn’t say it’s a crush… not for long, probs. Maybe it’ll just pass.

Sincerely, Y/N.

-

Chapter 1 Page 3: In Denial

HI SO UHM, IT’S ME, AGAIN!!!!!

I can’t stop looking at him during training or when I'm in meetings. We just got partnered up for missions, too! I don’t honestly know what I’m feeling right now but it definitely can’t and won’t be a crush...

Stressed, Y/N.

-

Chapter 1 Page 4: No Longer In Denial…?

How do I even begin?

I can’t stop thinking about him and lately, I was called to stay after a meeting to talk with Signora about… my attention span during our meetings. She mentioned how I always seem like I have something on my mind; or someone. I OBVIOUSLY didn’t tell her ANYTHING but I think she's onto me, god. So that made me assess myself.. and I’m 50% sure this is a crush now… when I thought it could have never been.

Confused, Y/N.

-

Chapter 1 Page 5: Acceptance Stage

Okay, well hi. 

I think I have to accept the fact that I have a crush. My friends mentioned to me a few hours ago that I would always talk about him. No matter where we are, anytime, and what we would be doing. Even when we were just talking, APPARENTLY I’d always find a way to bring the topic back to him. GOD WHEN WILL THIS BE OVER. But yep, I think your beloved Y/N has a crush now.

Unbelievably, Y/N.

-

Chapter 1 Page 6: Friends?

HEY UHM HI HELLO.

HE WALKED UP TO ME EARLIER AND SAID IF HE WANTED TO BE MORE THAN JUST ACQUAINTANCES AND I FREAKED OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but I obviously said yes…….. So now we're friends, hopefully we'll grow closer?

SCREAMING, Y/N.

-

Chapter 1 Page 7: More..

HeYYyyyYYyy!!!

So I learned more about what he likes, what he dislikes, his hobbies, and more. I learned that his favorite color was blue, which is cute BTW!!!!!! because I like blue too.. hehe. Moving on, I found out he was a new Harbinger while I was still under training. He mentioned that he’s met me before but I had a hard trouble remembering. Now, I’m slowly getting to know the guy here and there.

Better than ever, Y/N.

–

Chapter 1 Page 8: Fallen?

Where do I start..?

For Morax's sake, he's so handsome. I can't even over exaggerate that! His hair looks absolutely perfect and soft.. His eyes are so endearing! He's got the humor that one needs in a guy. He's even better in battle but holy mama, when I see him battle, he looks so focused. His hair falls so freely and his face has utter determination. Ugh! I've been admiring him too much lately..

With love, Y/N.

-

Chapter 1 Page 9: Drew My Attention.

Getting to know the guy, he's very interesting.

We've talked about a few things while on missions, from how we came to wanting to be a Harbinger, to the reason why we decided to pursue our wants. He's quite the guy, there's a lot to him. More than I thought he'd have.

Intrigued, Y/N.

-

Chapter 1 Page 10: Close Call

So, right now, I'm being risky and writing while I'm on a mission with him.

Honestly, after working with him for a while, I've really seen how dedicated he is to accomplishing missions assigned to him. Though, it's a different story when he's in battle. He's so into it, like it's the only thing he lives for, he loves the heat of the battle, his eyes somehow.. sparkle. Yes, he's good at fighting but he always comes back to camp with wounds all over him. It sucks seeing him like that but it's what he's used to. Some part of me really wants to help him and pro-

-

Chapter 1 Page 11: Phew!

Sorry, almost got caught by the very guy himself.

He came rushing into camp asking for me to come with him. We went off to investigate the other camps present around us. Of course, he had wounds all over him; but there was nothing I could do. So, I followed him and our investigation went on. Were back at camp and he's fast asleep. Anyway, today was a long day.

Tired, Y/N.

----------------------------------------------

semi-part 2 here.

[mnemo-li]

Okay, so I did a test I saw on Tumblr just for the funsies and frankly, because a part of me wondered if I have a mild case of ADHD or something because my nanny / part-time nurse used to say that I behaved like a เด็กสมาธิสั้น (literally translates to having a “a child with a short attention span”).

And uhhh the results of the test surprised me, to say the least.

The screenshots are a bit weirdly cropped on Tumblr but to summarize:

The RAADS–R is a self-report instrument, a reliable instrument to assist the diagnosis of autistic adults. According to this paper in the Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorder, no neurotypical who took the test scored above the autism threshold. The threshold is 65.0 and I scored a 78. I also redid the test a day after and my score was still in the 70s.

I’m just pondering some things that other people have observed about me.

1. In high school, I had been quietly dragged aside in class and privately told by my English teacher that “I speak too softly”. He means well: he just wants to help me communicate. I remembered being so upset by this but when I asked another friend if this is true, she said yes— I tended to speak so quietly sometimes she has to strain to hear me. Apparently, trouble modulating vocal volume is an autistic trait.

2. My nanny noted that I had a habit of taking the baby hair around my face, twirling it around my ear, untwirling it, and then repeating that again and again. I only recalled doing it because it felt good. I also did this other thing where I used to repeatedly pull my eye bags and snap it back for that satisfying snap because it felt good (I stopped doing it because I didn’t wanna have ugly eye bags). To this day though, I have a habit of rubbing thumb against the nail of the other thumb repeatedly, using the nail like a worry stone. Apparently, according to my grandpa, it’s a genetic thing cos my dad does it too! I also have my favorite pillow where I would put my hand inside the pillow and rub my hand against it for the satisfying feelings it gave me. Now, the pillow is thrown away cos it’s too old but I still do the same thing with other pillows in order to sleep. I think this is a form of stimming??

3. I would walk around in literal circles in my rooms for half an hour at a time, daydreaming. Sometimes, when reading a book and the action gets too vivid, I have to start moving around physically, standing up or swinging my legs or walking around as well. Not sure if this is an actual thing though but it seems weird enough.

4. My high school maths tutor used to say that my speech is very disjointed in the sense that I sometimes jump from topic to topic and he would have trouble keeping up (this is regardless of what topic was being discussed). He ended up advising me to slow down whist talking, and to explain my thoughts in steps. I recall telling him my mum speaks like this too.

5. I am easily startled by noises and easily overwhelmed by loud and busy places. I thought this was just my social anxiety thing though but idk. It’s been that way since high school at least. I remember someone once said hi to me on the stairs, surprising me from behind, and damn I almost fell lol. And yeah, to this day I get a sensory overload if I go somewhere too busy or loud (but then, doesn’t everyone to a degree?)

6. Oh: routines. I do get upset if my routine is messed up (but then again, doesn’t everyone to a degree????). Sometimes it’s more intense though. Like, recently, I had news that I can’t do what I planned to do next week and I spent the whole day today just being upset over it. It’s currently almost 8pm and I haven’t eaten anything aside from a sushi roll since I woke up— that’s how upset I am.

7. And of course, an ex-friend of mine said to my face that I’m “lazy”, that I have potential but I don’t work hard. I disagree with that statement but looking back, I am negligent when it comes to certain responsibilities but I am extremely hard working on the things I am passionate (dare I say, hyper fixated) about. Like okay, I know I still can’t finish that goddamn fanfic I worked so long on, but I do have a passion for writing and I objectively literally am a published short story and non-fiction author and a published poet. I literally just signed another contract with an American publishing company last Monday. When it comes to the stuff I truly care about and obsess over, I am not lazy.

I don’t want to be one of those kids who diagnose themselves with every syndrome they read about on the internet, so I won’t conclude anything. However, I also do realize that I harbor some prejudice against autistic individuals that I am trying to unlearn, prejudices which influenced my unconscious desire to not want to be associated with people who society-at-large deem weird or annoying.

Idk. I just… I know I definitely have social anxiety (I once put off going to the supermarket for several weeks, to the point where I became hungry cos there wasn’t proper food left in my fridge, because I didn’t want to talk to the cashier or anyone I might bump into at Tescos) but the thought of me having ASD traits is just… idk what to think about it

idk what to say really.

I’m still in contact with my English teacher though. Lowkey wanna reach out to him and ask if he noticed any other “weird” traits about me.

IRL friends and online mutuals, feel free to share your thoughts if you wish, especially if you have experience with this ❤️🙏

[umichenginabroad]

Stockholm Week 6: Post-Exam Treat, London

Hej! I had the busiest day this week, in terms of both academic and fun events. I took two tests AND traveled to London over the weekend. 

First, let’s start with the “studying” section of the studying abroad experience: 

2/19 Mon - 2/22 Thu 

For most of the weekdays, all I did was study. I had the online Chemical Engineering Reactions exam on Wednesday followed by Engineering Sustainable Environments in Scandinavia midterm on Thursday. 

To say the least, I had to change the date and time of the Reactions exam multiple times. It didn’t help since I took it from 1 am to 3 am on Wednesday through Zoom. Although it was tiring, I was so glad that it was over; hours and hours of studying in the DIS study rooms were over! I did not have any field studies on Wednesday (thank God) so I slept in. Grinding for my core course midterm began that morning and lasted until Thursday night. 

During studying, however, I made sure to take a break and do something I enjoy. When I was coming home from Hammarby Sjöstad (seaport), the designated suburb area for a group project in Swedish course, I took a walk around where I live. I decided that I could take some time to stroll around the neighborhood. I found some photo spots along with Mojang Studios (who knew Mojang Studios, THE studio that developed Minecraft, was based in Stockholm). 

The scenery at night was beautiful.  

I also participated in the DIS-hosted Paint & Sip night on Tuesday as a stress-relief activity before the exam. They provided fika (I devoured the carrot cake) and all types of painting supplies. Not many showed up, which honestly made the experience better for me. It was a nice and relaxing atmosphere where we got to freely express our creativity. I found my inspiration from YouTube. 

By the end of the session I was wishing that I would never have to stop painting. It was by far my favorite DIS activity! 

I could not and did not resist making plans with my friends despite the exams. I met with my friend on Thursday to grab fika and study together. We went to Cafe Koya, a Totoro-themed cafe in Vasastan. 

The strawberry shortcake was very much to my liking: soft and not too sweet ദ്ദി*ˊᗜˋ*)

All the Espresso House cafes nearby were full of people so we moved to T-Centralen to actually study. After a couple of hours of intense studying, I went back home and took the final test of the week. 

And like that, it somehow became Friday. 

2/23 Fri

Friday kicked off the “abroad” section of the studying abroad experience: 

I knew well from the start that I was getting no sleep this weekend. I kept a separate list to keep track of things to do for this upcoming trip. 

Most urgently, I did not know how to get to Arlanda airport from the Hog (short for our apartment Högalidsgatan). To get the most accurate information, I went to T-Centralen and asked the official at the information desk. He kindly suggested the Flygbussarna bus company. 

Tip* The night buses (i.e. Bus 94, 593) run all throughout the night and are completely free to use with the SL transportation card! 

If you booked a 6 am flight like me, I highly recommend taking the night bus to get to T-Centralen and then taking the Flygbussarna bus to the Arlanda airport. The one-way ticket was 129 SEK (about 13 dollars) compared to taxi options like Uber ($60). Arlanda Express is another option that will take you to the airport the fastest (160 SEK ~ $16), but it has a gap between 12 am and 4 am. There are plenty of options, so choose wisely according to your situation! 

One thing I recognized was that all the tickets had an open date and time. Unlike the U.S. or Korea where you book a ticket for a specific date and time, most bus/train tickets have an open-date ticket policy where you can use the ticket anytime (in the span of 3 months) and any direction (to or from the Arlanda airport). It was an extremely convenient policy that factored into my recommendation. 

After I figured out transportation in Sweden, I searched London’s mode of transportation for a while. The best option for me was using the bus and subway with the same wireless card instead of buying a visitor Oyster card, which had the same benefits of daily maximum cap. 

2/24 Sat

I followed the directions I was given by the T-Centralen official. I took the night bus from my apartment to get to St Eriksplan where the Flygbussarna bus took me to Terminal 4. Due to the early arrival at 4 am, no one was in the line for the visa check. Therefore, I was one of the first customers that received a boarding pass, and the security check-in took much less time than that in the U.S. In less than 30 minutes, I was already heading towards the gate for my flight. 

I got knocked out in the 2-hour plane ride since I had no sleep for the past 36 hours.

When I arrived at Stansted Airport in London around 8 am, I took another prepaid train followed by the city subway to get to the center of London. My dear UMich ChemE friends and I had a huge reunion at the entrance of the hotel. 

The first thing we did together was to find a cafe nearby and eat brunch. We picked one of the abundant brunch cafes and had a huge platter under the bright sunshine and an effective heater. 

They had small portions of their top menus on a huge plate. I think more restaurants have something like this for people who like to try out different dishes at once 

To digest our full bellies, we walked around Little Venice. It was a very peaceful place and we even saw elegant swans swimming around the water. However, I noticed a lot more water pollution than I was expecting. 

The moment our legs started hurting, we took a break from walking by taking the subway to the Baker Street Station. I don’t know about you, but I LOVE Sherlock Holmes and it was beyond fascinating for me to be on Baker Street in London. We quickly visited the gift shop and I refrained from buying everything and anything I saw in that shop. 

Our next stop was the Borough Market, which became one of my favourite (not a spelling error) places in London. They sold all types of food ranging from baked goods to fresh fruits. We tried the infamous chocolate-covered strawberries (insanely juicy - although I would have preferred dark chocolate poured over my strawberries), Portuguese custard tart (I would kill for a good egg tart anytime so buying it was not an option when I saw it), and mangosteen (my absolute favourite fruit of all times). 

They were all extremely good <;3 

We crossed the London Bridge to go to Leadenhall Market, but it didn’t seem to be open when we got there. We got a refreshing boba there and let our legs rest for a bit before attempting to break into the Sky Garden. We tried but failed to walk in because we did not make a notorious 3-week-in-advance reservation. I googled an alternative and found the Garden at 120. Thirty minutes of waiting in line allowed us to see the London sky view for free!

There was a variety of architectural styles throughout the city, which made it more interesting

Searching for nearby shopping malls led us to Victoria Place, but it was a very small one with more restaurants than stores. We didn’t stay too long because we were getting hungry.

One might say that we should have eaten something more British but we got hotpot for dinner. Since we did not make a reservation, we were told that we could dine in but would have to be done in an hour. We accepted the challenge and devoured everything before our time ran out. 

Although we were full, we were not full of sweets.

We decided that we couldn’t miss out on the British sweets, so I opened my magic TooGoodToGo app.

I found a bakery called Granier Bakery with a very high review (4.8 stars) and mouthwatering photos on Google. I paid £3 and we headed right over. The workers there were so quick, friendly, kind, and considerate!!! They even let us pick 2 savory sandwiches (they were HUGE; 1 sandwich was at least 2 servings) AND sweet pastries (you usually don’t get to pick what you get as it is whatever’s left at the end of the day). Since there were still regular customers after us, I thought they would give out ones that weren’t that popular. However, they proceeded to put in their favorite ones on top of those that we asked for. 

They gave us 9 (yes NINE) perfectly good pastries for less than $4. 

Even after a full meal at Happy Lamb we still managed to eat pastries in our hotel. The almond and pistachio croissants were so so tasty.

We didn’t want to end the night early, so we walked a bit to go to a bar and chatted for a while. 

My friends filled me up with tea from back home. We had soooo much to talk about 

Like that, we concluded our first day in London with 28,000 steps. 

2/25 Sun

We began our Sunday morning by surrounding ourselves with flowers ❀❀❀

We went to the Columbia Road Flower Market. There were rows and rows of all the different types of flowers and I instantly got happy just by the sight of them. We occasionally stopped walking to smell the flowers and take pictures of our favorite ones. 

I really wanted to buy some but they only sold in stocks so I decided to enjoy the most out of them in the market 

The small dainty stores on the other side of the road sold many different things as well. I bought a postcard to put in my diary! We also stopped at two different cafes to get a hazelnut pistachio croissant and a passion fruit canelé.

We realized that we did not have much time until our Sunday Roast reservation at 1 pm so we ran and ran and ran to get there on time.

My friend reserved the best Sunday roast restaurant in town; it was indeed delicious. The vegetables, especially the baked garlic, went extremely well with the beef.

I couldn’t finish because it was a very generous serving, but I enjoyed every single bite of it

As a dessert, we got a rhubarb pavlova. It was a delight :) 

The last big attraction according to our plans was visiting The National Gallery. The gallery was enormous, displaying well-known artworks like Monet’s Water-Lily Pond, Van Gogh’s Sunflowers, and even da Vinci’s Burlington House Cartoon. It took almost two hours but we managed to look around all the rooms. 

I bought postcards for two of my favorite paintings, the Water-Lily Pond by Monet and the Skiff by Renoir. 

As we were scrolling through the list of things to do after dinner, my friend found out about a live comedy show called the Top Secret Comedy Club. We booked our tickets last minute and headed over around 7 pm. To our surprise, the show was packed with hundreds of people. It started at 7:30 pm and 2 hours flew by. 

My first-ever comedy club experience was a success; I loved it! 

We went back to our hotel and researched the best way to peel the mangosteen we bought in the Borough market. I think they weren’t ripe enough to be easily peeled, but it was still delicious <3

I was very proud of my cleanly-peeled mangosteen ｡･:*:･ﾟ

2/26 Mon

Monday was my last day in London. We tried going to the Sky Garden when it opens early in the morning, in the hopes that we will make the walk-in limit of the day. But our hopes were crushed when the security that the walk-in was full for the week. 

We changed our route to Big Ben and the Palace of Westminster.

When we were wandering around the close vicinity, we found a beautiful park that has a good view of the Victoria Tower. We took a bunch of pictures before heading towards the London Eye. 

As you can tell from my crazy hair, the wind was BLOWING

It did not feel like we were so high up despite the fact that we were observing the city 135 meters above the ground.

.5 pic <;3 

After 30 minutes, we got down and took more pictures that showed Big Ben in the background. 

We got to experience the real London (cloudy and rainy)

My last event in London was the renowned Afternoon Tea in the Royal Lancaster Hotel. The interior was luxurious and the waitresses were friendly. All the food was served in the form of a course meal: it started with sandwich bites that were followed by scones, ending with a finale of 4 small cakes. Throughout the 2-hour course, we were able to freely switch our tea choices as well. 

The whole course was quite satisfying! 

My friends were staying for a couple more days than me, so it was time for me to say goodbye. I arrived at the airport with ample time and got home at 10:30 pm. 

It was time for me to live my life as a student again. I started checking off my list of things to do until 5 am the next morning ;-;

 

This week is a very busy week for me in terms of presentations, papers, and projects because our first travel week begins this weekend. You’ll be able to see the stark contrast between traveling and studying in the upcoming post! 

I hope you didn’t fall asleep while reading this essay. My gratitude and kudos to you if you made it this far! 

Vi ses, 

Jiwoo Kim 

Chemical Engineering

DIS Study Abroad in Stockholm, Sweden

[hideyseek]

6. 10, 11? For ur ao3 wrapped? Mehabs?

(im on mobile if something is weird. No it isnt)

bro ,,,,, im so sorry to report something was weird, i only saw this guy come in today he was not in my inbox before. apology for delay. but hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii yes thank you for the ask!!!!! of course i will answer i love to fucking TALK hehe :3

ao3 wrapped asks

6. Favorite title you used?

mmmm hehe. i'm gonna answer this based purely on title vibes as opposed to like "how well the title fits the fic" bc i wrote a bunch of shorter (to me) fics without a lot of internal thematic happenings that a title could reflect and so i don't really think of anything i published that a title is doing very much work.

i think my favorite title of anything published this year is i wish you the wind just because ah ... what a phrase! no idea what this means but it sounds so damn romantic to me! really has a flavor of like ... bittersweet farewell!

10. What work was the quickest to write?

mmm, haha. well, two answers to this i suppose. on one hand, there was keep me here which unfortunately i wrote in about one day from nothing (and therefore had approximately 12 minutes to revise) because i was determined to post SOMETHING for that day of kaze week 2023. but the first fic that came to mind (and perhaps the most accurate answer, time-wise) was my drabble from week 2 of inception wicked which came together in about three hours total drafting, but there was a span of several days (and truthfully several days that felt like several weeks lol) between me initially having the idea and sitting down to draft. but like, to be fair, it is about 400 words so revising goes exponentially quicker. truly this shocked even me, though i guess really what this means is i already was primed with a bunch of subconscious thoughts about the dynamic in this fic lol. (you can read it here on the gdoc with the other fics from that week! bc i haven't gotten around to posting on ao3 yet lol. content warnings for: semi-explicit sexual content, fantasizing about a married couple, voyeurism)

11. What work took you the longest to write?

hmm ... i don't know if there's a winner for anything i published, tbh. most of the rest of the kaze week fics from january kind of came together in a span of 3-5 days depending on the fic, and most of the other drabbles for both events came together in about the alotted week. so instead i'm going to gleefully misinterpret this question so i can talk about my beloved unpublished nemesis project, narrative!fic :3

i hate that guy! (<- said extremely lovingly) i probably earnestly worked on this fic for ... 4 or 5 months of this year? had a nice breakthrough for some story logic in august / september ish, outlined from that through october, and wrote pretty diligently for most of november. (i did tell my roommate fully two years ago, "hey you need to watch kazetsuyo so i can make you betaread this fic i'm writing at the end of the year, i'll watch star trek with you in exchange". that was literally 2021 lmao. they have not yet seen a draft bc there has not been a draft worth having anybody else look at yet.)

i think the thing that has made the process of drafting narrative!fic so long is really just that, for the last two-ish years, narrative!fic wasn't actually a story to me, so much as it was a project into which i dumped all my post-college facing-the-future feelings and loosely tied up with a string called "i'm sure i can make haiji go through this as well". but then, due to various life events in april of this year, suddenly i came back to the draft and it was like: oh. ohhh, okay. i can see how this can be a story, actually. this is about haiji, as a character, as opposed to haiji, as a semi-direct proxy for myself. and then over the next few months i cut out a ton of stuff and reworked his main arc and now it's like ... a story, instead of just a bunch of feelings and events. which, truly, is only my personal marker for what i was looking for from the project. like, i personally want a separation of my own experiences from what is in my fic, i want to be thinking about developments in the fic as narrative choices the story requires rather than as alternatives to how my own life could have gone. (which ultimately may well be the same thing but its the headspace im in, for me).

and i think the other part is just -- i didn't know how to write! i mean, obviously i know how to string words into a sentence lol. but a LOT of i guess the first two years of drafting and then setting all the drafted stuff aside to start again from scratch like four times over, was me learning to like, figure out my own longfic writing process. (big sobbing emoji, lmao. i remember in my youth reading about maggie stiefvater having 200k of unused draft material for one of the trc books and i was like, how??? and now i am like: yeah. unfortunately i get it. not that my tossed-out drafter material is of that specific magnitude. but there is a lot of it, goddamn.) and now that i've got at least an initial / foundational sense of it, the hardest part is only actually sitting down and writing. (i say as if this is not also, extremely challenging for me lol). so uh, i guess i'll say here "maybe this time next year i'll really have a full draft of narrative!fic", and. we'll see how that goes :3